#WHATEVER. im not getting into it more here . ignore me ignore this | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

omgcatboi · 15 days

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I don't often post my non kink related art but I'm tryna get the attention of someone else in the community and am too shy and cringe to reach out so. Here, have this portrait I did of Hanzo Shimada. With my finger. On ibis paint. This took me four hours. Progress for proof below.

#we have so many similar interests and im trying to not be cringe about that 🧍‍♂️#hi im autistic and some people are really really hard to reach out to lol #anyways ove/watch fandom please don't look at my fat kink blog i cannot handle normie anon hate rn #plus id. what u think bc u play OVE/WATCH #idc* oops #not retyping all that #and if you have seen this art on animo and noticed i updated my signature no u didnt!!!#i dont want people on amino knowing im a fat guy that thinks it hot to get fatter #let me be kinky in peace #hanzo #hanzo art #hanzo shimada #hanzo fanart #overwatch fanart #watch either get no notes at all like all my other art or spark the first fatphobic harassment campaign against me bc i dared #to post out my uaual tags #anyways #artists on tumblr #trans artist #overwatch #my art ALWAYS gets ignored its such a SHITTY FUCKING FEELING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thats WHY I NEVER POST IT !!!!!!!!!!!!#but whatever im not normal and need to make friends somehow #when people learn to give the attention my art is worth ill post more #but yall on this site NEVER. do ( at least on ever blog I had before this one)#i just dobt post much of it here bc whats the point? no one gives a shit about my intrests and skillls #im just. pretty face to look at #and thats all ill ever be or amount to #bi polar ramblings ig ig ig

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averlym · 10 months

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#i have little to no rationale for this but this is an art blog after all so here is a random little something i did on break #wanted to do smth more illustrate-y for once and render. i missed painting and. faces are always fun to paint so i just started shading and #tadaa? out of the dreamscape indeed and inspired quite heavily by anastasia #<blinks?> i'm!! not sure!!! what i'll be posting from now on!!! welcome back to the avvy-has-a-crisis-over-blog-content //#ending-with-the-resolution-to-post-whatever // and then feeling like since people are following for six ... should. post that instead. //#i saw somewhere in a ted talk of smth that be yourself and your people will find you. i feel like that applied here when i was fifteen and #now oops im a different person. what do i do with the remnants of my past self i've kept. she's in there somewhere but no longer here.#so i guess. revamp. post whatever current me wants and ignore any and all stats.#last time i went on (what i thought was permanent hiatus) i think i was trying to end on a high note. this is now a ??ship of theseus thing #perhaps. whatever!!! <stops thinking of myself as a content creator and more of a silly little blog> wow this is so chill #the true goal of this all is just to get better at art. and have it be shareable. that part is bonus.#on another note i have picked up crochet! started another side acc! began the ridiculous flood of exam season. read two whole books #and listened to a bunch of songs i either discovered or rediscovered. kept cooking experiments in the kitchen. hashtag lifeupdates i suppos #it's getting better. im usually dehydrated and stress is forever there but i've come to like my life enough to cope with it?? hooray #i think. me-who-started-this-blog would be terribly proud of how we've grown. it's a comforting thought #also i can paint actually! hehe

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purgemarchlockdown · 6 months

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The temptation to vague about something in the milgram-confessions blog because its something thats bothered me for Actual Years about certain fandoms vs letting it go because when it is brought up its actually done somewhat tastefully and reasonably which makes me happy and this anon probably didnt mean it in the incredibly bad faith way I keep on seeing it be repeated so really Im getting upset over nothing.

#the answer is: ramble a bit in the tags just to get it out of my system #for some elaboration: Im asian! I have a knee jerk reaction when people go 'the westerners are projecting their values onto the east again'#because 9/10 of the times someone does that they're an American who wants to justify their weird racism/homophobia #by using the idea that asian countries (especially Japan) are backwards and/or ignorant but disguising it as 'being mindful of their cultur #and also then homogenizing them and pretending their all a monolith to be assholes to people!#and/or completely dismiss any possible criticism or interpretation for a series as a cultural values thing #this one fucks me up especially because usually there IS Merit in those interpretations/criticisms #but a concerning amount of people then go 'oh your just pushing your cultural values onto them' as a smokescreen to be a bunch of assholes #and/or discredit their ideas because Clearly All (insert x group here) think EXACTLY THE SAME and BELIEVE FULLY in whatever cultural #idea their using to justify this behavior #Ive Seen actual good discussion on differences in culture!#especially in another fandom of mine #but the worse option has happened so much that when I hear someone say those words alarm bells start ringing #its bad faith! I know its bad faith! But Ive engaged the worse option in good faith and came out wanting to punch someone A Lot More #Ive seen actually good faith discussions of cultural difference in this fandom sometimes! Its really nice but It scares me #cause im just Waiting for Someone to come in and ruin it #can you guys tell ive seen too many bad anime video essays? Ive seen too many bad anime video essays.

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woolydemon · 29 days

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for ppl that know my tf fan lore you would think I'd be ryu/kita pilled since I was blur/bee CEO but actually I was driven by my shock/bee instincts to be drawn to ake/kita instead <- none of these words are in the bible

#THERES A METHOD TO MY MADNESS #ok ok ok. ryu/kita. its the spunky bro electric yellow guy and the autistic weird blue guy. thats straight up blur/bee and i admit it #THE BLUE GUY IS EVEN TALLER THAN THE YELLOW GUY. ITS SO BLURBEE #but like for me. i def enjoy ryu/kita a lot but it doesnt make me crazy like blurbee does. nor ake/kita #BUT LIKE OK. THIS IS WHERE ME SAYING AKE/KITA IS LIKE SHOCK/BEE GETS INTO INSANE PPL TERRITORY #ok . for one. ermmmmmmm. shockwave .... was my first goro.#bc he has the whole. false identity meant to decive vs true identity as a villain thing. like gorby #and also i admit. i do have my v specific fan interpretation of him that makes him more sympathetic BUT ALSO THATS LIKE JUST ME.#ITS NOT IN CANON. IM AWARE OF MY DELUSION. i have fun though its ok. i separate fan interpretation from canon text. i have media literacy #the real insane part though is trying to explain why yusuke takes on a bee role.#to preface its not matching in personality. at all. they are nothing alike #its not the personality thats key here. its the role and dynamic he specifically has with shockwave #in which hes kinda a more lighter character that often gets religated as comic relief in the source material #but does have a genuine depth to him that could be taken more seriously but that usually gets ignored #and paired up with the antagonist guy with conflicting identity he pulls out a better side from them #and also they have the capacity to be sooo crazy dramas and toxic yaois and redemption like. whatever.#IM INSANE. IM INSANE IM INSANE. GOD .#i . i . i . im.... idk man i love dynamics #shock/bee still isnt like my top tf:a rarepair. but also ryu/kita isnt my top personba 5 pair . for some inexplicable reason #when i rlly enjoy both these kinds of dynamics but then sometimes it clicks with me more with certain character and a lil less with others #im a complex inexplicable enigma. but also maybe some characters just make it work better for me #i think largely overall though #im drawn to dynamics that have a hint of smth in the source and are expanded upon more in transformative material #anyway blah blah blah all that though #the real consistency is i keep having the same favorite character in stuff and its the blue autistic guy #rando thoughtz

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ward-leon · 30 days

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for the blorbo bingo , , , conspiracy guy twa-

yay yippee ^_^

#imagine being up to so much not-very-explainable shit (edit: re: him dying and then 'getting better')-#-that a part of the fanbase thinks youre a test tube baby. and another part suspects you to be a vampire #i mean im throwing around big words here considering the fanbase is. like. Less Than Ten Alive One Deactivated #but whatever lol #if you asked me abt this guy while i was still a bit more head over heels w/ twa spons wars i probably wouldve told you abt. like.#the 'miku listener tax evader dark lord's friend by the virtue of not respecting anyone else at first' hcs i had for them #i mean the conspiracy struggled to keep afloat before it makes sense methinks (re: tax evasion)#(also im Ignoring Some Stuff from one of the first eps here bc it was a bit meh)#anyway #thanks for the ask!#not a reblog

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dispotatorulzz · 1 month

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In my heart I have a cool tail and ears and cool awesome claws . Alas my physical body fails me

#brain likes to trick me into it sometimes tho and it sucks !!!!!#me making space for my tail when i close the door. BROTHER you do not have a tail !!!!#and . holding/handling shit carefully because of my claws. BROTHER.#if i had a physical tail to touch and hold all off my mental issues would be over #ANYWAY. this is probably. something but I'm scared so . the world and i will never know i guess #give it atleast another year so before i think about looking into it #i just recently talked about it for the first time with someone what more do you want from me #shout out to rose my awesome frienf <3 #I TOLD IT ID LOOK INTO THIS . nobody tell them please. I'm scared !!! im scared to know and I don't know why #im also just. scared im faking it or pretending #WHATEVER. im not getting into it more here . ignore me ignore this #gootbye

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error84 · 2 months

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think the newest disclaimer im going to add to certain websites is please do not imply i love one over the other when it comes to the two obvious roller coasters . because it makes me so uncomfortable and honestly just really sad!!!!!

#slugkit.txt #i think. most people do so unintentionally. but #im adding it to my about here + mabe my carrd but not like. Anywhere obvious LOL and definitely NOT instagram :skull: so #this hasnt happened recently but ykw #theres exceptions to this .. ? phrasing and what not. You dont always have to include one with the other #its moreso just an implication thing ... Like every time you talk to me you only talk about how much i love one but #woefully ignore how much i love the other because you also like it. Sort of deal #or maybe dont like it .. ? Either way #i know i have my times where i talk about one WAY more than the other and it flip flops a lot #its just mainly like .. Scenarios of purposefully ignoring one over the other #i dont like thjat at all #i love them the same. i love them differently but the amount is The Same. its never a one over the other for me #and every year it gets increasingly harder to even have them 'ranked' one over the other lol #(i only rank for funsies cuz i like putting together lists and whatnot. disclaimer.)#Sorry for the YAP in the tags. Whatever

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risingsunresistance · 1 year

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if we're mutuals and i unfollow suddenly and you happen to take notice of it, please do not take it personally i still love my friends n whatnot i am just. getting very tired and need to cut down the mcyt content on my dash

and if i unfollow and refollow a couple times that is just me testing the waters jdhfj idk what i wanna do man i just have to do something for my mental health

#im gonna try my best to not up and leave bc *i* still enjoy posting #but it's been 6 months and some posts still make me sick to my stomach sometimes!#i've tried everything. blocking hundreds of ppl on main so i couldnt see their tags. asking ppl to not mention stuff around me. ignoring it #nothing has worked so far and i am not getting better #so i think i just need to be less involved #it's much easier to make my own posts bc i get to decide when i feel well enough to bring him up #and i get to talk about whatever i want! wanna mention some cool stream moments. skyblock stuff. random fun facts. etc #but then on my dash it's like. oh you were feeling bad? too bad there he is. another reminder 👍#and i could blacklist stuff but then tumblr is like ''HEY THERE'S A POST HERE YOU CANT SEE AND HERE IS THE EXACT REASON WHY''#like... that doesnt help. if i see ''blacklisted tags: technoblade. tw death'' then that. doesnt make me feel any better #chat #anyways i have doodles i wanna make that are very vaguely related ot mcu but mostly based on a fandom headcanon(?)#i think we need to go back to the wings. when ppl gave him wings. and i like when ppl made the cape/coat his wings #i have. More Ideas for that.

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forbiddennhoney · 11 months

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sooo when are we gonna talk abt the way that fatphobia has srsly fucked up yalls perception of fatness to the point that a lot of yall r calling urselves fat when u really are just not skin and bones bc..... yikes.

#personal #ive seen one too many skinny person calling themselves fat/chunky/overweight/etc #and idk ur weight - i dont want to know ur weight #but also im seeing ppl like smaller than my wife (who is not fat) call themselves fat #and its getting more and more prevalent that im seeing ppl who are objectively thin/average calling themselves fat #and then some of these ppl have the nerve to speak on fatness or say i < 3 fat bitches or whatever but they mean avg size ppl #like idk im not gonna define fatness as One Body Type #and maybe im wrong here and just have a diff definition of fat #but im seeing a lot of ppl with literally flat stomachs or like soft bodies with the smallest amt of body fat calling themselves fat #and then yall will be like oh i love fat bitches and its like someone who has wide ribs and isn't skin and bones #a lot of yall say fat to mean anyone who's bones dont protrude from their skin #and i think I'd be less annoyed abt this if it wasnt for the fact actually fat people get ragged on for existing #and yall wanna pretend u have the same experience bc someone compared you to someone like me once #idk #im just bitchy abt this today esp cause ik so many of yallre gonna ignore this

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seilon · 5 months

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you know im realizing now. with the exception of a few resident psychiatrists, ive had like. no good experiences with mental health professionals

#most recent occurance is eating my brain alive right now because I feel just so. degraded and offended by how she chose to evaluate me #I won’t get into it because it will make me spiral even more and get angrier and more overwhelmed but tldr she didn’t acknowledge #anything I said about my symptoms both out loud and via written test. chose to ignore or dismiss anything that came from me #as if I couldn’t be trusted to recount my own experiences and feelings. also did not take into account that I am an adult and thus have Had #to learn to mask and shit so while she brushed off So Much Shit because i seemed (in the three hours she met/saw me)#functional Enough. that’s only becuaee I put in a Lot of effort every day to do so. and that effort does not last forever #and of course because. like I said I’m an adult. I’ve been yelled at I’ve been punished I’ve been put through courses and #through the ringer of Society in general to the point where I mimic Normal Person Behavior at least somewhat decently when im prepared to do #so. she treated me like a child and didn’t acknowledge most of my major issues. ignored me when I said I don’t avoid social situations out #of fear/anxiety I avoid them because it takes a lot of energy for me to mask and try and read people and act accordingly #and in her report suggested generalized anxiety. part of the reason I was there is because anxiety HASNT ever properly described my #avoidant behavior.#and just. yeah I said I wouldn’t get into it but here we are. this always happens #it’s just eating at me because I keep realizing more and more things she just fucking disregarded. literally wrote that I ‘listed many #relevant symptoms’ and kept it at that. did not actually give those symptoms any validity. basically just implied I was listing things #just. becuase?#some shit was just blatantly wrong like claiming that I have a variety of interests when I told her outright that I can only be interested #in one specific interest at a time- example being the entirety of last year being only interested in One (1) video game. and this is to such #an extent that it’s difficult to make and maintain friendships because I have no interest in anything else but that One Thing for however #long and won’t care about other things people try to get me into in order to have something in common with me or whatever or just. yeah.#issues.#she didn’t acknowledge the issues I have with low empathy or overstimulation. didn’t acknowledge my history of taking things literally to #such an extent that it has caused problems with people. didn’t acknowledge anything that was self-reported and not being displayed in that #moment right in front of her eyes. it’s just. really really disappointing and. yeah degrading honestly #especially because it took months upon MONTHS to get this fucking appointment #and to just be not listened to and dismissed.#anyway. yeah I’ve also just only ever had really shallow relationships with therapists (at best)#and have never felt helped by them or like they ever put in much effort to try to Get to me so to speak. only my psychiatrists have #been open minded and Listened to me. but they were always residents so they’d leave in a year or so. I don’t have one at this point.#kibumblabs

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izzy-b-hands · 20 days

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finally broke into one of my new syringes (still have some old ones, but figured hey i should try them for this shot)

Tw for bitching abt medical shit/my injs below the cut

and i just. why is my doc intentionally making this harder. I ask for 3ml syringes bc it's what im used to and know how to draw up. She agreed to that, so i never checked my new ones bc why should i? she listened, she sent in for 3mls, right?

NOPE. fucking 1 ml which means figuring out the draw up has required online searching to make sure it's right, and bonus! everything I've found doesn't recommend it for T bc it's such a slow inj to begin with, and 'many feel it takes longer to inject in smaller syringes designed mainly for IV use, which lessens compliance with injection schedules in some'

And i hate how it looks. it looks like so much more, and i know that's stupid bc it isn't, it's the same amount as usual, but the sight of it is v much involved in me getting my injs done with my fear of needles. I know, again, I KNOW planned parenthood is dealing with not enough funding, hands on staff, etc, but does that really prevent you from listening to your patient and trying to help them with shit like this? bc i don't think it should. I'm still forever grateful they've been helping me keep my T going until I find a primary care doc, but at the same time...what the fuck? I said this would be an issue, and i need to stay with my usual supplies. If that was an issue for them, i was willing to buy syringes myself from the medical gear shop I've used for extra supplies before (that will ship out here, I've checked.) Why won't she just fucking. listen, and talk to me? if all she could do was 1 ml syringes, fine, BUT FUCKING TELL ME THAT BEFORE SO I CAN JUST BUY MY OWN

Like. I will get this done. ill use these crap syringes up bc I refuse to waste them.

But now I'm overly nervous and worried im gonna fuck it up with the new syringe, or that it will hurt more or take even longer to inject than usual, so my hands are too shaky to do it! im already a day late with it, and I'd bet ten bucks I wont be able to calm myself enough to do it until tomorrow. Yes, this is also autism bs of needing things the same but like. I've had to do a lot of adjusting since last year, and have made efforts to accept changes and sporadic things. it's been hard as fuck, but I've fucking done it. so why can't i have one fucking thing like this stay the same? just my inj supplies, that's it! I'll accept and deal with other changes but for fuck's sake, she KNOWS I'm nervous abt fucking up my injections (bc i always want them to go well so i get as much med in me as i can, with minimal tracking out after it), why the fuck wouldn't she at least tell me if she was limited in syringes/what she can rx?

Why don't docs listen when i talk, and why won't they just talk and be honest with me like a fucking adult. is that honestly so fucking difficult?

Apparently so 🙃

#text post #long post #sorry ignore me i just needed to vent this out before i figure out if the inj needle fits this syringe #bc the draw up one barely fits correctly so im not feeling real confident on the others!#this is my fault for not checking at the pharmacy but tbh they wouldn't have done anything to help anyway #they're overworked as it is and don't have the time or patience for that #I'd love to discuss this with my doc but thus far she's only suddenly changed when she wanted more bloodwork donr #and refuses to respond to my requests asking when she'd like my next appt scheduled #bc if she moved the bloodwork then maybe she wants to follow up sooner but who fucking knows #and that's not even getting into her misgendering me thru my whole last appt #and she's this p.p.'s full time gender therapy specialist! so there's no one else i can even ask to see at the local office #she's sweet enough but i really think she needs to like. go into a different specialty or something #bc clearly this is not her thing and I'm selfishly frustrated that it's making this harder for me #whatever. i have an inj to set somewhere safe until i can get over this change and make myself do it #funny enough this was supposed to be a quick inj before i shower but! here we are!!!

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akilliosacheron · 2 years

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i have a complex about not disliking blaseball characters for any lore related reasons, if theyre lored to be 'unlikeable' or are gradually disliked by a team and i feel like its odd to be like that 🤔

like, you were given this guy and maybe they arent good at the game but someone decided that they were unredeemable (exaggeration) and then it became popular and its like... i dunno

i also have a complex about players who are bad at the game and get ignored and i accidentally went on a rant about it in the tags for yall eho know moist talkers players lol