#WHY AREN'T YOU DOING IT PIA

[not-poignant]

Hi! I apologize if you've spoken abt this already, bur how come ruts aren't really a thing in the UtR verse? Anton mentioned he's never had one, and they're very rare - is there a biological reason for it? Did Gary ever have one? (Starting to see what he is like during regular sex, I feel like he'd commit actual murder-by-cock during ruts fjfnfjnfjf) Anyway, love your writing to bits!!

Hi anon!

So I'm gonna write an essay, buckle up (I always write an essay on this stuff, I can't help it, I signed a contract at birth that said I would)

Firstly, ruts are sort of a 'new invention' in the omegaverse landscape. And by new I mean I'm really old and some people don't remember omegaverse without it. But I sure do! Only omegas went into heat, because heat indicated hyperfertility, and alphas were already hyperfertile without a rut. That was the whole point. You know, that's why they make such a perfect match. Hyperfertile mate meet hyperfertile mate.

They didn't need a rut.

Ruts came along later, and honestly in most of the fiction I've read that have them, ruts are very rarely written, and are often more like a threat hanging in the background. A sort of 'lol make sure you have food and water because like people go to hospital if they're in rut / heat at the same time.' Literal just about fuck-or-die situation. Or fuck-and-die. Probably more like fuck-and-who-cares-about-anything-else.

Anyone who has ever fucked a lot in a marathon session knows that eventually you just need carbs. *coughs*

Ruts are conceptually a TON of fun to think about. It's like authors went 'you know what hyperfertile alphas need? Something like a heat, that also makes them completely out of control.'

The thing is... alphas could already go completely out of control around an omega for a lot of reasons. It happened in fated mates stories. It happened in 'an omega is in heat and I just can't help it' (oh bless all those noncon omegaverse stories we have which are literally 'you just smelled so good you had to be mine'). A lot of the things ruts are supposed to achieve, already can easily be achieved in omegaverse.

Conceptually, ruts can be interesting as 'the alpha is also super vulnerable and helpless and needy during this time' but it's almost never written that way and it's not how I like to think about it. And in terms of worldbuilding, the places where it's made the most sense has almost always been as a dystopian thing that's almost dreaded by both the alphas and omegas (and everyone else) alike, and is just as much likely to be controlled by suppressants as heats, because no one likes to turn into an Automatic robot rapist. (Even though that's basically what many alphas become if they smell an omega in heat, I'm not saying ruts are the Department of Redundancy Deparment or anything, but they're a little bit like City of Redundancy in the shire of Redundancy population Already Covered In General Omegaverse tropes in the country of But It's Fun Anyway continent of Redundant.)

I love reading stories with rut worldbuilding but I have to suspend my disbelief so hard. And I know, I know, you kind of have to do that with omegaverse anyway, but there just comes a point where it's like 'but...the heat...triggers a response in alphas...thats mean a rut...is not needed...because that's what the heat does.' In some ways it takes some power and strength away from the symbolism of the omega's heat (romantically it's very interesting as the trope that renders the often hypermasculine character as so helpless to the omega that they basically have to have sex with them (guess what a rut is? Same same not different! Okay it can be different. It's often not though.))

As a result, I personally like worldbuilding that differentiates a general alpha response to an omega's heat, to a rut. And therefore if a rut is the more extreme version of a general 'must fuck' alpha response, it's likely to go pretty not...great. Much like unfulfilled heats are often characterised as agonising, I like to think of ruts are potentially very fatal. (Warning! Warning! The hypermasculinity levels are critical, boss! He's gonna blow! This time his heart! Not his cock!)

The worldbuilding mentioned in the chapter you're referring to - in the Underline the Rainbow universe - states that ruts are vestigial. It's killed too many alphas who have experienced it.

It basically knocked itself out of the genetic line, in the same way that peak alphas are going the same way because people just don't do great living like that in a functional society.

Also consider the...setting of the story if you will. This is a place where we're rehabilitating omegas and helping them recover from extreme trauma. The professional response to 'I go into rut all the time' alpha companion candidates is 'see a health professional, you can never ever ever ever ever be a companion here, because we...care about our omegas, and don't think your rut takes precedent over their health during a heat. Go away.'

None of these alphas go into rut! None of them should! It would be terrible from a story perspective (I mean, for me. I'm writing trauma recovery).

The only alpha on the grounds who potentially could go into rut is Caleb, I think he has the disposition for it. And I think it would be speedily suppressed with heavy doses of medication for the safety of any omega near him.

The thing that really frustrates me from a worldbuilding perspective is that in some ways, heats make sense. It's a fertile period for an animal that cannot afford the physiological cost of being that fertile all the time. That's it. In humans who already have menstrual cycles (which create fertility windows so the woman or person with the uterus doesn't have to be consistently fertile the same amount all the time), this makes actual biological sense.

Ruts in omegaverse don't even mean what they mean in nature, it's so frustrating. In nature, ruts are sort of connected to mates, but not about fucking them endlessly most of the time. It's about competing with rivals. Going into rut is marking your territory, attacking fellow stags (sometimes to the death), and keeping hold of your herd or flock. This makes...much less biological sense. It's not how it's written in fiction most of the time, and it's really just 'what if heat but alpha.' I'd love if ruts were 'HHH I have to FIGHT every ALPHA I SEE to the DEATH or at least MEASURE MY HEIGHT against HIS or SHOUT to see whose VOICE is LOUDER we are DICK MEASURING NOW my dick is BIGGER I am going to FUCK AN OMEGA IN TRIUMPH. YOU! THERE! COME HERE! No wait where are you going? Stop running!' That's... that's the world I want to live in sdalkfjsaflksaj

I have no problems with that, most omegaverse is just pure mindless pornography for fun, or very thin worldbuilding for fun, and orgasms are had by many and it achieves it's purpose.

But I can't justify something like that making sense in the Underline the Rainbow as a thing these characters experience. I like it as a 'oh this used to happen but we couldn't just go around killing each other and also we died so...' I'm pretty sure it's taught about in schools, lol. In the same way that alphas dueling each other to the death is now pretty much illegal in most places, some things you either just culturally change for the betterment of society (which is...literally the purpose of Hillview), and some things you X out of your own genetic lineages because the thing itself kills you.

Since ruts are in most serious omegaverses presented as extreme events, and alphas are already hyperfertile (in worlds where betas exist), they're just redundant.

Fun in PWPs, and fun for angst, but not the kind of angst I'm personally going for.

Thanks for coming to my really-not-a-TED Talk! :D

(Er so no, Gary has never gone into rut).

(In webtoon Define the Relationship one of the alphas goes into rut but because he's like a submissive alpha he basically needs to be fucked like he's in heat by another alpha and I just actually do kind of love the subversion of 'what if heat but alpha' where it's like 'no literally what if they have to be knotted and they have a whole bunch of shame about that.' But almost no one is writing it that way so aslkfjdsa)

#asks and answers #pia on worldbuilding #underline the rainbow #underline the black #look omegaverse is very silly and you can do whatever you like in it #that's what makes it fun #but i love science and i just... #if the heat already makes the alpha able to fuck for days #why a rut? #like biologically what purpose is this fulfilling? #if an alpha is already protective of an omega if they smell fear or hurt pheromones then #why have a rut? #biologically what purpose is that fulfilling? #i have given things like that a lot of thought and to be fair not everything makes sense #we all have biological things that are just straight up stupid #that we keep because they kill us less than they don't do anything at all #but ruts aren't like that #and can't really last in any human society (as they're generally written) #they are the appendix of omegaverse tropes #they can do *something* *sometimes* #but once they're gone the rest of the tropes function just fine and do the same things without it sdflkjasd

[goqmir]

hey magic the gatheringers, ive been rebuilding my favorite edh decks and hyperfixating on them lately so i just wanted to make a pretty lil post about them offering them to anyone who wants to play em :) these are my favorite decks right now and ive just run through and adjusted the decklists of all of them in the last couple days so they're fresh and ready to perform <3

the first deck is Rocco Cast From Exile!

the third rework of this decklist with the new cards from CLU really cemented that this is my favorite deck i've ever made. Rocco, Street Chef plays kingpin to a unique Naya value pile built around playing cards from exile!

this deck is similar to Prosper, who is unfortunately the face of Cast From Exile-- but unlike Prosper, this commander and the other options for CFE payoffs you get in Naya are super interesting and cool :) you get [[Feldorn]], [[Pia Nalaar]], [[Quintorius Kand]], as well as fun cheapening effects like [[Liara Portyr]] and [[Tlincalli Hunter]] on top of the delightful cascade effects green gets!

you also get to play around with +1/+1 counters (Rocco might be the best commander of all time at like... putting +1/+1s on specific individual creatures honestly??) and the magic that is food tokens (which are getting stronger and stronger each passing set). furthermore, Rocco impulse draws for your opponents, which means you get to encourage them to make tough decisions! do they play their combo piece from exile, feeding your deck? (Rocco is so efficient that they will soon learn that the answer to that question is almost always no... but you can always pretend that you're playing group hug and giving them free cards until they figure that out!)

this deck gets a lot of mana and builds up a monstrous board state very quickly. as far as individual value pieces go, be on the lookout for [[Jaheria, Friend of the Forest]], [[Inspiring Statuary]], and [[Night of the Sweets' Revenge]] for ways to make an unreal amount of mana. [[Herd Baloth]] and [[Faldorn]] will get you tokens for every card played from exile, and i would say are the main things giving you a monstrous board. don't sleep on the cascaders and thieves either-- every extra card obtained from things like [[Bloodbraid Elf]] or the Etalis net you another Cast From Exile trigger!

Naya Cast From Exile is weird and awesome and I highly recommend playing and building in this design space :) there's a lot of Naya CFE cards that work but I cut from the deck, and they give us more cards and commanders for the archetype all the time. this is definitely my favorite deck i've ever made <3

the second deck i'd like to show off is my Oloro Control decklist!

i've always been the interaction player at the table. you might find that these decklists are a bit heavy on the interaction for you actually-- i truly believe disruption is like. so important. especially when you're playing for value rather than combos like i do ^_^

so here is my dedicated Esper Control decklist! Oloro is there to keep you topped off and to draw you cards-- by playing this deck it really does net you anywhere from 10-40 extra life in a given game in my experience just by playing him. and the card draw on Oloro is pretty insane, enabling you to find the necessary ramp and bombs to end the game after you've disrupted every combo at the table :) personally i don't like Oloro the character very much at all-- don't know why, but he's a little difficult for me to look at. i personally have a custom proxy that replaces Oloro with Grusha :3

this Control deck is all about gaining slow and steady value while ensuring the bad things aren't sent your way. there are some stax pieces here, but not very strict ones-- your goal is to remain innocuous while you get the mana and cards to play your bombs and your opponents hopefully go at each other. the bombs in question are things like [[Debt to the Deathless]], [[Expropriate]], [[Torment of Hailfire]], planeswalkers like [[Sorin Markov]], and creatures that amass you value quickly like [[Drogskol Reaver]] and [[Sunscorch Regent]]. you gain life, shut down your opponents, and force unwinnable situations or knock out opponents with big bombs. it's fun!

the third deck is Vadrok Inevitable Betrayal Combo!

Vadrok here is the final fruit of my obsession with the 0 cmc suspend cards I went through a few months back. after toying with pretty much ever one in turn, Vadrok is the one that stuck around because he plays so interestingly and truly warps your table's metagame if you bring him out enough times.

let's get into the weeds: the combo here is a pretty simple one-- Vadrok is one of (and the only legendary) engine that allows you to play cards from your graveyard without exiling them after, done by mutating. [[Inevitable Betrayal]] is a 0 mana cost blue spell that takes a creature from an opponent's deck and puts it onto the battlefield under your control. The combo, then, is a gradual one: use a spell to discard Inevitable Betrayal, and mutate onto Vadrok. each mutate plays Inevitable Betrayal for free, allowing you to cheat out an opponent's creature each time. this is strong.

the deck features a suite of tutors, a variety of ways to discard cards, and every mutate card in Jeskai (except the one whose mutate cost is six mana :P). the combo is surprisingly low to the ground and quick, allowing for turn one/two discards and turn three Vadrok mutates at times. however, it's often worth waiting to mutate Vadrok onto a creature with Hexproof to ensure little interruption as you swarm the board with your opponents' best hits.

this deck, of course, relies heavily on your opponents' decks then. which is why this deck is so metagame-warping-- even at more casual tables, you'll probably see your friends take their funny eldrazi and craterhoofs out of their decks because you're so prone to winning with them. personally, i find that delightful! i tend to cycle deck usage anyway, so it's cute to steal a bunch of things for a couple weeks, have my opponents edit their decklists to remove my hits, lose interest in the deck, and come back a couple months later and steal the good hits in their new decks, repeat :) its fun having a deck that warps metagames with its presence alone.

the final deck id like to talk about is my Silvar and Trynn Humans decklist!

mardu is delightful and for the longest time i couldn't find a mardu commander i ever wanted to build! finally though, i stumbled across these two :) the art on them is so gorgeous! i love ikoria.

this deck is very fun! the only typal deck on the list, humans is a very fun type to build around and you get access to so many bangers in mardu. this deck is all about building a board of as many humans as you possibly can, then sacking them all to put 17 +1/+1 counters on Silvar and start swinging for commander lethal. how that is done is different every game, with so many fun human pieces and interaction pieces that each game feels very distinctly different from the last more so than any of the other decks discussed on this post. furthermore, mardu offers my favorite interaction suite of all time, so it's always a pleasure to play with.

teehee anyway thats my decks ive been hyperfixating on! feel free to give em a try :) sqrrk!!

#mtg #magic the gathering

[kaylinalexanderbooks]

OC interview

Thanks for the tag @mysticstarlightduck here and @leahnardo-da-veggie here!

Rules: answer questions as one of your OCs!

This time, I think I'll go ahead and do Lexi!

Are you named after anyone?

“Not that I'm aware of. My parents just really liked the name Alexia. And honestly, I can't blame them! It's a good name. I mean, there are so many variants on the name Alexander. Like I could've gotten Alexandra but that seems a little...I dunno, much? Much. Alexis doesn't...feel right. For me, like, I think Alexandra and Alexis are fine names for people who aren't me. Regardless, I definitely prefer the name Lexi. Alexia feels a little awkward to be called on, like, a regular basis. Again, for me. I'm rambling. The point is, no, I don't think I'm named after anyone.”

When was the last time you cried?

“This morning. I couldn't find my pink pen. Yeah, I know it seems stupid and immature to cry over a pen, but, like, it wasn't like I was upset that my pen was missing, it was the fact that I was stressed over losing it because my pink pen is used to color-code my English assignments. And there's a lot of English assignments, y'know?”

Do you have kids?

“I am in middle school. Middle. Schoooool. Who's even thinking about romance? That'll come with time. Like, high school. And kids much later. Like, after college. I don't have to worry about that right now.”

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

“I dunno. I don't have a record. Sometimes?”

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

“...everything? I dunno, I look at them, and I see them. The whole of them. Is this an attraction question? I already said I was in middle school! I guess height. Like if I look at them, it's either up, down, or straight ahead. Height.”

What’s your eye colour?

“My eyes are brown. Not much to say about them. They're pretty dark brown. My sister has bright blue eyes that really standout against her skin and hair. I'm not jealous, actually, it's just an observation. I happen to like my dark eyes!”

Scary movies or happy endings?

“Happy endings, of course! I love a good happy ending. I mean, sad endings make me sad. Scary movies can have happy endings, I guess. This is a strange question haha. But happy endings.”

Any special talents?

“Well, I am first chair, first violin in my orchestra class! I think I'm a good leader. Usually take the lead on group projects. Um...oh, duh, I play the violin. And I also can organize stuff really well. Good color sense, I've been told. Uh, I gotta garden! It's small, but I wanted to have an out doorsy activity. Brings my anxiety down.”

Where were you born?

“Uh...here in Texas, I think. At least that's what I was told. *Gasp* There's a chance I was born in Alium! I need to ask my pia about that...”

Do you have any pets?

“No. I wouldn't mind one! A dog or a cat would be awesome. Maybe both!”

What sort of sports do you play?

“I don't actually play sports. There'd be a few issues to convince those in charge, anyways, to get me a different uniform. I have haphephobia - I don't like people touching me - and the more skin I show the higher the risk and my anxiety goes up more. So for now, no, we don't want to deal with that. I ride my bike sometimes. If I were to play a sport, it would be either volleyball or tennis, and definitely cheerleading - those girls are so nice!”

How tall are you?

“I am 5'1, meaning I'm about average for my age!”

What was your favourite subject in school?

“Oh! English! I like learning new words - I always have. Phonics may have been my favorite in elementary school! We don't do that a lot anymore, but we still learn a lot more about language. Also, may be biased because all my friends are in my class this year. Well, not all of them. Three of them. Mr. Flanagan also let us choose our groups at the beginning of the year, so I'm always with them!”

What is your dream job?

“I. Am in. Middle school. Why would I be thinking that far? *Sigh* I guess...I dunno, maybe journalism or counseling? I feel like that'd be fun.”

Other interviews: Wade, Jazlyn, Gwen

Other Lexi: OC in fifteen, OC in three, OC questionnaire, two truths and a lie, Picrew, blank bingo

Tagging @somethingclevermahogony @melpomene-grey @squarebracket-trickster @writernopal @writeintrees

@winterandwords @ceph-the-ghost-writer @elizaellwrites @tabswrites

+ anyone else who'd like to play!

TSP intro

TSP tag list (ask to be +/-): @thepeculiarbird @illarian-rambling @televisionjester @finchwrites @nebula--nix

Blanks below cut

Are you named after anyone? When was the last time you cried? Do you have kids? Do you use sarcasm a lot? What’s the first thing you notice about people? What’s your eye colour? Scary movies or happy endings? Any special talents? Where were you born? Do you have any pets? What sort of sports do you play? How tall are you? What was your favourite subject in school? What is your dream job?

^ for easy copy/paste

#the secret portal #tsp #teaspoon #lexi morgan #oc interview #oc tag game #my oc #writers on tumblr #writing community #writers of tumblr #writing on tumblr #writeblr #writeblr community

[itscometothis]

Opening Lines

Tagged by @pia-bartolini! thanks babe :)

Rules: List the first line of your last 10 (or however many you have) posted fics and see if there’s a pattern!

erm, one has a prologue so i'm including both because technically, the prologue is first but it feels like its own entity?

OLD AS YOUR OMENS: His throat burned, his shallow breaths causing sharp pains to rack his body as he flinched away from his mother and the poison she poured down his throat. (le prologue).

Regulus was positive he had ceased to exist. (le chapter one)

2. DRUMBEAT OF THE DAMNED: It didn’t happen all at once.

3. ALL THE STOPS: Harry wearily sank onto one of the barstools at the Leaky, joining the stragglers mostly known as the Pathetic Sods Who Have No Where To Go For Christmas.

4.. THE MAGIC OF MACARONS: Draco Malfoy eyed the cookie in front of him with narrowed, skeptical eyes.

5. IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE: “I’ll need you to repeat that.”

6. WE'LL ALWAYS HAVE PARIS: Hermione Granger, in order to avoid Azkaban, stalked her way down the streets of muggle London so she would not murder Rita Skeeter. 

7. A DIFFERENT SORT OF DREAD: Minerva McGonagall would never admit to having a favorite student. 

8. THE PLAN: Hermione Granger had had enough.

9. THE KNIFE: Merlin, this was awkward.

10. DARLING!: Kingsley Shacklebolt was a friend, Hermione reminded herself. She had to keep repeating this to herself as for some reason, Draco Malfoy was seated in the armchair across from her in the lounge next to the Minister’s office. 

So I left a couple things out: drabbles from LDWS, because they feel qualitiatively different as a style, and one of my fave fics of mine, Crime & Punishment, solely because the opening is a recitation of Draco's crimes in transcript form and it's a lot and played with medium. Innocent Monsters was, by that counting, number 11! That's wild, it doesn't feel like I post that much, but it's been 2.5 years since I posted that lil guy.

They're a bit all over the place, but I think the unifying theme here is I usually am trying to establish character/relatability pretty quickly. Relatability and character aren't precisely separate: Hermione is trying not to commit murder, I mean, who hasn't, right? Hermione's at her wit's end. Dying of awkwardness. It strikes the tone and the character's mood while revealing a bit about them.

But, as you move up the list to my two most recent - these are a bit different. I know, as a writer, that I was trying to evoke something of Peter and his betrayal with, 'it didn't happen all at once.' In that sense, it's on brand. This is the tricky thing about fanfic - if itw as OF and we didnt' know anything, it's just a reaction of 'what didn't?' and maybe 'and why do i care that it didn't?" but in fanfic - WHY did this SOB turn from Marauder to Death Eater? And it's Peter's conversational tone I keep throughout.

OaYO reflects its genre - action! - in the prologue. In the opener of Chapter One - a bit of an insistence that, at least from Reg's POV, he really thought he died. (and he did, not a spoiler, it's on the tin of the fic), but it confirms that Regulus thinks so too. It also, I hope, hints at the confusion/disorientation of his return.

Tagging @orangecoluredsky @acanadianmuggle @thebemoon @alptraumdaydream and anyone else who wants to play and hasn’t, already :)

#how do i tag

[bisluthq]

It's one thing to not want to be so private anymore, but this is actively leaning into the public and playing into marketing the whole thing. We have updates on their relationship status from Tree or Pia every week. Basically everything they do together has been stuck with a camera on their faces. The only stuff we haven't seen are basically their text messages and what they do inside of his home, that's it. The tour was not starting for two weeks and we already knew he was going to be there. On the day before literally every media posted with sources he was going to be there, announcing it like it was supposed to be a big event. They do the same for his games. That doesn't make these things look normal, it just looks like they want people to know, to tune in and photographers to be there. Like it's literally being done in the most direct way. They also hinted on it on the podcast. If he was just going to be there for her, why not just show up and that's it? Why make a big show out of it? If this is supposed to be like a new normal for her, than act like it. Just act normal about it as if you were a normal BF/GF supporting each other. And then why aren't they doing that? Well I have my thoughts but they don't really matter so

Idk I think they have to deal with the media because they’re very famous. The pressers are mostly telling everyone to chill really? It’s better for them to release statements than for people to make shit up about them (which everyone still does)? Tree and Pia are literally just doing their jobs. If they said nothing, there would still be a hell of a lot of attention on them.

They’re on CNN again dudes like the interest is unparalleled. I don’t think stopping pressers would change that.

[alexbkrieger13]

"Again she is a coach, she is serious, she will make tough calls and be ruthless when needed. She will select the best players, not Nilla’s best friend from her old team. She is a coach not a grandma there to provide them with endless praise regardless of performance and only coddle them."

Nilla above all (she's played in Wolfsburg with the strict German hierarchy and more direct communication, which she btw prefers) and most people understand this is how elite football works.

Competition for the spots on a squad and a starting XI doesn't justify to be rude to players off the pitch... And it doesn't justify to not show up at a morning team meeting when Pia was supposed to go through the tactics because she'd stayed up late and hadn't slept well. So unprofessional. Also, it doesn't justify to emotionally blackmail a player to choose between the national team or go with her wife to the clinic when she tries to get pregnant, implying if it continued like that the spot on the national team could be at risk.

On the airplane Pia made sure her favs that she'd pointed out as stars on the team (Nilla was one of them), sat comfortably in their chairs when she walked by. But when she passed Berglund she said "You I don't give a damn shit about!" If Pia made a joke it wasn't appropriate and if she didn't that isn't an acceptable behaviour. You don't say that when you're in a position of power. Berglund wasn't one of Pia's favs, she was in and out of her squads.

And for the record Berglund is NOT Nilla's best friend or an old club team mate. Berglund played in Umeå when Nilla played in then Ldb Malmö and after that Linköping before she went to Wolfsburg. By the time Berglund went to Rosengård from Umeå (then Psg, Gothenburg and back to Rosengård), Nilla was long gone. After they'd both returned to play in Sweden they weren't club team mates then either.

Pia's coaching philosophy with building the team around stars works in USA and Brazil but isn't ideal for Sweden. Under Pia, Sweden dropped out of the top 10 for the first time since the rankings for women's national teams started. For the home Euro 2013 she inherited Dennerby's squad that'd won the World Cup bronze 2011. That was the main reason Sweden reached the semi. She didn't have any time to change much in the 9 months and few camps before the championship started. World Cup 2015 no medal. Olympics 2016 barely scraped by and defended the way to the final. Euro 2017 no medal.

Pia wanted to play a certain kind of football but didn't have the player material for it. She never found the best suited formation or a system that made the team perform at its best. You can't try to fit square pegs into round holes. The very best coaches look at what is possible to do with the player material at hand and build a system from that, rather than from a personal preference what kind of football they want their teams to play but their players aren't able to.

Schelin carried the team on her back with individual performances to bail Sweden out. The link up in the Euro 2013 between Schelin and Asllani, quickly named Schelani, was magical to see and Sweden played fast attacking football (too fast according to Pia). Schelin and Asllani had chemistry and played beautiful football together as the two top forwards.

It's beyond me why Pia decided to not keep what worked so well and instead tried to find another forward partner to Schelin, which she never fully did. Stina worked ok but not nearly as great with Schelin as Asllani did. Frido didn't work with Schelin at all. Hammarlund was never around enough to become a real alternative before she became long time injured. Hurtig had just recieved her first call up and a first cap in 2015 when she became long time injured. She had feet surgery and tried to get back in time for Euro 2017. She got back shortly before the squad announcement but Pia decided it was better to keep Hurtig healthy for the future. So she was never really tested as Schelin's forward partner.

It is quite interesting in the light of Nilla speaking out and spekaing up now, that Seger several years ago said if Pia had continued as Sweden's head coach she'd probably quit. Whether she meant quit football or the national team wasn't clear. It's also quite interesting that Peter has expressed the family is the most important. He's completely ok with players decline some camps, championships even, for family reasons. His players doesn't have to be afraid they'll risk their spots on the national team just because they stay home with their families at times. They don't need to worry when they call him to say they need to decline a call up.

yea was very obvious during the 2017 euros that no one had any idea what was going on because it just felt like there was no plan and it was pretty obvious she had pretty much lost the dressing room. and yea peter in the best way to describe he's just chill he creates this environment with his staff that yeah the players feel like if they need to they can step away from camp to be with their families at times and he puts the welfare of the player above the actual games.

Like just thinking of one recently off the top of my head if P hadn't gotten injured the night before I'm 90% confident saying Magda would have played in that Australia game.

[jotatetsuken]

do people deserve to be forgiven?

features: kei tsukishima x f!reader

summary: she finally goes to the middle school for the reunion party, but due to certain experiences, she feels apprehensive to do so. what happens when she runs into an old friend, who helped her, but she lost touch with him?

warnings: haikyuu timeskip spoilers (mentions of jobs), heavy mentions of bullying in school, severe anxiety symptoms, exes being douches, fighting, suggestive themes, cybercrime to an extent (?) this is based on a true story, an experience from my life, so writing about it was an act of healing. please respect it.

song: cold/mess by prateek kuhad

beta reader: @saltyvanilla (thank you so much for reading this it means a lot ♥️)

tagging: @hyeque @megumischubbycheeks @cuz-like-why-not @beware-of-the-rogue @cirigiri @izu-fi @mrskenmakozume @akaashi-todorki @tiddieluvr @novaresque @sweetsbysatori @ceo-of-daichi @oyasumiares @sabyss @oikawas-milk-bread @jctaro @jellyluchi (taglist form)

number of words: 2515

This was the banner that was displayed at the school's main entrance. I started clenching one of my fists as I walked in. As a former student of Karasuno High School, later Tokyo University, and then Harvard University in the United States, I enjoyed my high school years, bonding with my volleyball friends, seeing the boys' team win, cycling up the mountain, attending different festivals, wearing different yukata, and, most importantly, finding true friends and falling in love. The last two sections, on the other hand, were extremely difficult for me. 

Why you might ask? Finding true friends was difficult for me because of the trauma I'd experienced as a result of certain people, and finding love? Because I was in love with the guy who saved me and became my friend but after high school? We lost contact... I was thus terrified of going to the party. My heart would race every time I clutched my purse. I don't want to see them all again; what if they look at me and make comments about me? All those thoughts vanished when I heard the rustling of the leaves and turned to look in the direction of the sound of footsteps, only to find Tadashi Yamaguchi and him.

The story goes that when I was in my second year of middle school, I began dating this guy named Kosuke Sakamoto. He was tall, attractive, had chubby cheeks, and was popular with women. We dated for a year, and he appeared to be nice until he wasn't. He told me it was "too precious to let the world know about us", and to keep whatever we had a secret. I did as he requested and kept it hidden while he openly flirted with the girls. Also, he almost forced me to date someone else while we were dating. On our one-year anniversary, we finally had our first kiss, and it was unforgettable. He was a great kisser, but he wanted to go further, which I declined. Rather than respecting my wishes, he spread rumors that I invited him to a hotel room to sleep with him. We were 14 at the time, bro! Why would I want to sleep with you when I explicitly stated that I didn't want to? And that's not all.

There were two girls, Pia Sanuki and Amaya Doi, who I assumed were Kosuke's childhood friends and were also close to me. Until something like this happened. When Pia and Amaya summoned me to the classroom, I was talking with Tadashi Yamaguchi. "(L/N)-chan, we need to talk," Pia said, hands on her hips. What are we hearing about you gossiping behind our backs about us? We overheard you saying that you're spreading derogatory rumors about the girls in our class." Amaya continued, "Oh, and we heard you referred to us as bimbos who exist solely to please men?" Because Miyagi is a smaller town than Tokyo, there will always be people who aren't as accepting as my family, who learned things the hard way so I wouldn't have to. I'd never say anything negative about anyone because I was raised to treat everyone with respect. However, Pia and Amaya cornered me, Pia slapped me across the face, and the other girls joined in, hurling insults at me. Everyone was calling me names, and as I was looking for Kosuke to help me, he gave me the finger with both of his hands and walked away until a certain hand landed on his shoulder to stop him, and a voice resounded in the classroom, "Oi, everyone. Losers, get the hell away from her."

Pia scowled and was about to walk towards the boy who had called out like that when he stopped her and said, "Sanuki-san, I don't know you specifically, but I know of girls like you. You believe you have the entire world on your shoulders, don't you? So, guess what? You don't deserve to be on the same level as (L/N)-san; she's in a different league than the rest of you. So, please, Doi-san," he said, looking at Kosuke, "and Sakamoto-san, and all of you, get out of my way!" "Tsukishima-kun, when did you start standing up for women?" Amaya asked. "I thought you were only interested in your studies, volleyball, and yourself?" My attention was drawn to a young man namedTsukishima. He was almost 6' tall, with blond hair and golden orbs that glistened in the light behind his glasses. "You're right, I should only care about certain things," he said to Amaya, "but you all forget that I'm someone who won't hesitate to stand up to some bullies like you, whose sole purpose is to make others feel miserable." When I heard him, tears streamed down my cheeks, accompanied by a small smile on my face. Who is this guy who appears out of nowhere to defend me? That's when I noticed a familiar freckled face peering through the classroom door. So Yamaguchi summoned him. I recall him telling me that he, too, had been bullied and that Tsukishima had unknowingly defended him.

Tsukishima then approaches me, extends his hand to me, and I place my hand in his. He picks me up and we leave the homeroom, only for me to sob at the nearest window. For a while, I had trouble breathing. I closed my eyes and pretended it was all a dream for a moment, but it wasn't. It was the truth. A harsh one, to be sure. When I felt two hands on my shoulders, I turned to face Tsukishima-san, who wiped my tears and held my hands while saying, "I usually don't do this." I'm usually very rude and mean to new people, but you deserve to be treated well. Just like a Princess. Just like a Queen." He then takes a step back, bows, and introduces himself: "My name is Tsukishima Kei, and I work from 2-4. Yamaguchi is a classmate of mine, and he appears to be a good friend of yours, so he overheard the conversation and summoned me." I returned the bow and introduced myself, "I'm (L/N) (F/N), and thank you very much, Tsukishima-san." "You can call me Kei or Kei-kun," he said, extending his hand to stop me. It's all right." Yamaguchi is visibly surprised by the interaction but smiles because his friend, whom he calls Tsukki, appears to have found another friend in me.

Days passed, and the bullying continued unabated. Pia complained about me to the homeroom teacher after one of Kousuke's friends splashed water on my uniform. She never believed Pia because she had always believed in me. By the end of the day, I'd received a text message from an unknown number saying, "We shall have our revenge." I read through the text and showed it to Tadashi-kun and Kei-kun. We shook our heads and went to Kei-place kun's to study.

When we took our first exam, however, my homeroom teacher called for me, and Kei-kun and Tadashi-kun stayed near the door to keep an eye out for me. She summoned another girl who recognised me and was one of the few who stood up for me, and she'd shown me her arms. They were soiled with belt marks. "What happened?" I asked, my eyes welling up with tears. "Who is it that did this to you?" "...my father," she replied hesitantly. "This girl here tells me, L/N-chan, that you called her under a nickname, N/N, and told her father that she was dating the valedictorian, who eventually knocked her up?" my homeroom teacher said. My heart slowed to a halt. I thought to myself, "This is ridiculous; I would never do that." Would I have been able to say anything, though? I began to sweat profusely and tried to find a way to calm down and answer without babbling until I said, "T/N-san, may I come in?" When I turned to face the door, I saw Kei-kun standing there. "Yes, Tsukishima-kun, what is it?" the teacher asked as he walked into the classroom. 

"Before you say anything to L/N-chan, I'd like to come to her defense and state that she did nothing of the sort while she was with Yamaguchi and me as we were preparing for the tests," he asserted firmly. He went on to say, "I even have the call logs to prove it," as he presented a sheet of paper with a list of numbers highlighted as the ones that called the girl and it wasn't my number."T/N-san, I believe you are aware that L/N-chan has been subjected to bullying by two girls in her classroom named Sanuki Pia and Doi Amaya, but aren't taking harsh measures to punish them," he said in response to my teacher's continuous queries. She apologized to me as she glanced down at the ground, ashamed by the circumstance. "I apologize profusely, L/N-chan. I'm hoping you-" "It's okay, ma'am," she said as she observed me take a big breath, smile, and say. People, in general, are not to be trusted, as I discovered the hard way. This, however, would not alter my opinion of you. I'm sorry you had to have doubted me in the first place." I stood up, bowed, and walked away with Kei-kun, hugging him and thanking him once more for saving me when he didn't have to. As Tadashi-kun giggled in the background, a flush formed on his cheeks.

As we grew closer, despite our constant squabbling, I discovered that Kei-behavior kun's was influenced by his older brother, Akiteru-san, who was a member of the Karasuno High School Volleyball Team and was rumored to be the team's ace. However, when we learned that he was no longer the ace or even a member of the starting lineup, but had been replaced by “The Little Giant,” Kei-kun's smile faded and bitterness crept in. Even as we started Karasuno High School, Tadashi-kun and I stood by him. Kei-kun and Tadashi-kun unexpectedly joined the volleyball team, and I joined Hitoka Yachi as the team's manager.I made new friends, shared their joys and sorrows, but I noticed a shift in my own personality, as well as Tadashi's and Kei's, and when they qualified for the nationals, I was ecstatic for them and eager to watch them...until I received a call from my family informing me that I would have to leave Japan. I was so upset that I tossed things around and saw red everywhere till Tadashi came running up to me and hugged me while Tadashi went to fetch some water to calm me down. We agreed to make an effort to communicate with one another.

Until we couldn't. Time passed, but we drifted apart; I kept a tight eye on him from afar, but we didn't maintain in touch, and I assumed I'd never find out why. Until the reunion, that is. Until I came across him.

“Y/N,” Tadashi-kun exclaimed as he ran up to me and hugged me. I couldn't remember the last time I saw them. My (E/C) gaze then fell on his golden orbs. He approached me and interrupted me by placing his lips on my cheeks, cupping my face with his hands, and closing our eyes as soon as I said, "Kei." In the midst of the crisp, freezing weather, his lips felt pleasantly warm, which contrasted with his icy demeanor. As soon as he was free of the kiss, he smiled and brushed his forehead with mine, tears streaming down his cheeks.“I've been intending to do this since you told me you were relocating from Miyagi to Tokyo and out of Japan.” I answered, “Aww, someone missed me that severely, is it?” He flinched back and enlarged his eyes for a minute, only to scowl and shift his head in another way, taken aback by my forthrightness.

I chuckle and turn to Tadashi, who rambles, “Tsukki missed you, you know? He attended college and is now employed in a museum. How about you?” I chuckled, took a deep breath, and confidently replied, “When I returned to Japan, I majored in psychology in Tokyo, then I pursued a doctorate in Psychology at Harvard University, specializing in Cognition, Brain, and Behavior, particularly in early adolescence during middle school. My goal was that whatever happened to me...” This is when Kei added, “shouldn't happen to others. That's why, with the help of Hitoka-chan and Kiyoko-san, you established an anti-bullying NGO in Tokyo, right?” I was astounded by his knowledge of my whereabouts.

"Yes, Kei-kun," I say, "but..." He comes to a halt as he holds my hand and softly says, "Please call me Kei. I love it when you call me Kei, even if it's by accident." I smiled and nodded, continuing, "Kei, Tadashi, after I moved out of Japan, I decided to go to therapy, and when I did, I unearthed this dark past that I didn't want to talk about ever again. My therapist asked,‘I want you to ask yourself if they deserve to be forgiven.’ Then I questioned whether they deserved to be forgiven. Because forgiveness is essential in our lives. Consider a seed that has been planted in order to grow into a tree. If the seed was bad, the fruit would be bad as well. Similarly, if I harbored a minor grudge, it would grow into something much larger and consume me.

So it took months and years, but I finally forgave them. The old me would have been desperate to have them back in my life; the bitter me would have sought vengeance. This me,” I say, pointing to myself, “doesn't care... She's willing to forgive for the sake of healing, which means I'd rather keep them at bay.” This made them, especially Kei, proudly smile, no, grin at me. "However," Kei inquired, "you must have been afraid to enter the party now that you're standing outside?" "I am," I said, nodding. “However, interacting with you once more made me realize that you two are the reason I was able to grow in the first place. Kei, in particular. I'd been meaning to tell you about my feelings for you, but I needed to heal first. And now that we've kissed,”we look in opposite directions, "I'm aware of your reaction." He gives a nod. "Shall we go to the party and ignore those people in favor of having fun?" "Yes, we should," I chuckled, wrapping my arm around his. "Though, Tsukki, you'd be the one mocked, and she'd have to be the one to save you," Tadashi continued.Kei rolls his eyes and says, "Shut up, Yamaguchi," to which he replies, "Sorry, Tsukki," causing us to laugh hard as we enter the party to prove to the naysayers that we've overcome them.

© Shyna 2022

#shyna muses #kei tsukishima #tsukishima kei #tsukishima fanfiction #haikyuu tsukishima #tsukishima x you #tsukishima angst #tsukishima fluff #tw bullying #musings of an extrovert #tsukishima oneshot #shyna suggestives

[buttercuparry]

Day 9: smallfolks

I think most of my metas for the current Arya month have run more or less along the lines of Arya's relationship with the smallfolks.

So I don't really know what more I can add to my previously made points.

The only thing I can do now is reiterate that there's a reason why Grrm said

If a twelve-year old has to conquer the world, then so be it

If this quote is indeed about Arya, then her "Conquering" the world would definitely include a violent political altercation against the current regime of apathetic nobles. And this need for reformation is supported by the text; it is not something that Grrm is against and Arya's arc is definitely not a lesson in the dangers one creates when one is dismissive of status quo.

There is a reason why Grrm departs from the high halls and grand balls of fantasy literature. He refuses to romanticize the lives of a commoner and thus places a pov character (one of key fives at that) amidst their everyday lives and makes her do away with her own sheltered worldview.

The smallfolks in Arya's chapters are given their own quirks; they aren't faceless and we get to see them as Arya does: the old man who is nostalgic of king Aerys's reign, Weasel is barely a toddler and clings to Arya after she saves the kid from the burning barn. We know of Hot Pie, Lommy and Gendry. We know of Pinkeye's cruelty, Pretty Pia's promiscuity, and how much the cooks loathe Harys Swyft. We know of the poor innkeeper's daughter and of the mad Huntsman who has lost everything in the war.

Further in Arya's Braavosi arc, Grrm familiarizes us with smallfolks like Denyo, Brusco, Talea, Brea, Gyloro Dothare, his brother Gyleno, Sad-eyed Quill, Taggarano, Merry, Lanna, Izembaro and Daena.

Now all of these may come off as merely a catalogue of names but as we have come to know from Arya's storyline, names carry power->The Faceless Men kill on account of names that have been whispered to the Many Faced God and they may also refuse to carry out an assassination if they have personally 'known' the person.

So what I am trying to say is that all of these names mentioned in Arya's pov carry their own weight. The simple fact being that these smallfolks presented in the pov chapters are made identifiable as individuals and are not made part of an anonymous mass. This then becomes important when we take into account that the themes presented in Asoiaf do not exist in independent vacuums. The theme of one's identity ( which runs a common thread through Arya's, Theon's, Jon's, Sansa's and to some extent Bran's storyline) may as well couple with Grrm's critique on the Westerosi class structure.

The fact that Arya is so often asked the question, "Who are you?" reiterates that the name matters. This is in support of my arguments as surely the matter of identity cannot be confined only to those who are the blue bloods of society but to every other person of the world order. And when in Asoiaf an identity becomes a ritualistic paraphernalia in worshipping a God, it cannot be sacrificed on the whims of the nobility.

What hence is needed, is someone in a position of power who would spare a thought to not only the 1% but to all. Who would care about someone named 'Lommy', about Weasel, Pretty Pia, Daena and Hot Pie. And wouldn't just dismiss them as collateral damages in a game of thrones.

In our fandom, we often debate among ourselves about what represents the heart of Grrm's series: and it certainly cannot be all about an ugly chair. The War of Dawn is on the horizon and the collective unification of humanity is the only chance our heroes have, should they wish to survive.

And hence is Arya's relationship with the smallfolks is so important. It not only carries a link to the very heart of the series but also didacts one on the dangers of a hollow crown ( a tumultuous kingdom would surely collapse on itself and give away to mutiny).

#late submission #arya stark #aryastarkmonth2022 #I hope this makes sense #on hiatus #blog on queue

[not-poignant]

Any writing advice that works for you and you feel like sharing? with the understanding that no advice is universal of course

28. Any writing advice that works for you and you feel like sharing?

So I have a ton of stuff in the Pia on Writing tag that goes into a lot of detail but (with the caveat to ignore anything that doesn't work for you):

Learn to love your mistakes, because you must make a lot of them to get good at writing, so if you hold back because you're worried about your writing being bad, your shooting yourself in the foot. Your writing HAS to be bad for it to get better. Or: You need manure/shit (bad writing) to grow a really good garden (good writing). You want a good garden? Start shoveling the shit in, lol.

Clever marketing won't solve not putting the hours in to hone your craft.

In fanfiction, make sure it's fun. That doesn't mean it can't be hard sometimes, that you can't dread editing sometimes or drafting, that you can't have sadder times, but make sure that the overall net is always positive. Otherwise, take a break.

In professional writing, learn how to stop waiting for inspiration to strike, and learn to turn up on that dance floor on your own. Inspiration is a fickle dance partner, it often won't turn up unless you develop the discipline to turn up first.

Sometimes the writing you absolutely slog through that feels stilted and bad is some of your best writing. Just because it feels clunky when you're writing, doesn't mean it reads clunky. Just because it feels smooth when you're writing, doesn't mean it reads smooth. Your emotional state at the time of writing does not determine the quality of writing. Feeling good while you're writing =/= good writing. Likewise feeling bad while writing =/= bad writing.

You do not need a daily habit to be good at writing. Develop one if you want one, but personally I don't have one and I'm super happy that way. Take your weekends, have your leisure time, goddamn it, don't be a terrible boss to yourself.

Writing can be both lonely and exhausting - make some non-douchey writer friends (or artist or creative friends), and make sure you take breaks. Because writing is so cerebral, you'd be surprised how much physical activity can help with recovery, like stretching, gentle walks, workouts, etc.

Eat brain food. Snacking during writing is actually normal. I have nuts on hand for protein boosts, but I'll also eat chocolate or snack on quick energy boosts.

Stay hydrated.

Ignore any writing advice that goes 'you must do this in order to be a writer' or 'you have to do this one thing to be successful.' They're wrong. There is no one-true-path in writing with the exception that you do have to write in order to like...be a writer, imho.

You are going to want to compare yourself to others, but be very aware of who you're comparing yourself to. If you're new, why are you comparing yourself to someone with 10-20 years of experience? If you're disabled and fatigued, why are you comparing yourself to able-bodied writers? Stop competing with people outside of your metaphorical weight class, they're not your competition. I'm not going to tell you not to compare yourself to others, but be very careful of how you compare yourself to others. I've had new writers be like 'I could never do your wordcounts (so I'm not as good of a writer)' and like, no friend, neither could I 10 years ago. This is literally a decade of hard work and practice. Some skills really just come with time. (Also most writers are more successful after writing less words than me so y'know lol).

If you get shitty comments/critiques, remind yourself that if you wouldn't take personal advice from a complete stranger like this (and you wouldn't), then their shitty comments/critiques aren't worth your time either.

On AO3, the delete, block, moderate comments function and mute buttons are all free. USE THEM. Don't bother giving haters airtime on your fics. Elsewhere on the internet, as much as you can, try and ignore review sites. Like seriously.

Learn your writing style. Practice planning, plantsing and pantsing! Practice writing one thing or more than one thing at a time. Practice different genres. You might be surprised at what fits you as a person! Think of it like being a musician, you're not trying to be a band that already exists, you're trying to be your band and you're trying to find your sound.

You're probably very good at noticing your weaknesses, get good at noticing your strengths, and use those to shore up the places where you're still building skills.

Do writing prompts. I cannot stress this enough, but learn how to write settings. Describe the dialogue of a friend. Write a character dossier on a television character. Practice worldbuilding, practice character building.

Fill the well. Read broadly across many genres. Watch many different types of media. Listen to many audiobooks. The best way to not sound derivative of a particular order is to saturate yourself with inspiration from hundreds of different places.

That's probably enough! dklsjfdas

~

From this meme!

#asks and answers #pia on writing #memey goodness #idk advice is hard honestly #learn about good story structure #write down the things you love and don't love in your favourite novels and fics #do the same for your own works #be compassionate to yourself #don't be an asshole boss to yourself #administrator gwyn wants this in the queue

[not-poignant]

Hi Pia

I know you've mentioned fae that feed of rape/sexual violence before in a number of your fae tales stories and I have a few questions about them.

Since you write such believable and complex characters, would you think that some of those fae are civilized and capable of kindness outside of their feeding habits?

2. Can they have healthy interactions with others when they're not feeding? Or are they like the Nightingale and just pure evil?

3. Do some of them have boundaries/lines they refuse to cross? Like Olphix had no issues with abusing child Gwyn in TND but could there be other fae like him who choose to only feed on adults (like Augus refuses to eat human children, or like humans that eat cows but won't eat dogs/cats)?

4. And are there different levels of sexual abuse that they can feed on? For example, could this type of fae feed on dubcon instead of outright noncon?

5. Are these fae born with their appetites or do they develop them later on like Ash and Augus developed their need for human flesh? And if the latter, do you think any of them struggled in the beginning to suddenly need to do these terrible things to others in order to survive? Do their families disown them as a result?

6. Second to last question, would this type of fae be able to fall in love? And do they understand/get why others don't like them? Do they sometimes get lonely?

7. Last question, would you ever write an enemies to lovers fic about one of these fae?

Obviously i know that fae aren't a monolith even if they do share appetites, and answers are going to vary depending on upbringing and personality, but I'm really curious about your thoughts on this.

And I know I've asked quite a lot of questions 😅 Please take however long you need to reply

Thank you so much for your time

Hi hi anon!

Hi Pia

I know you've mentioned fae that feed of rape/sexual violence before in a number of your fae tales stories and I have a few questions about them.

1. Since you write such believable and complex characters, would you think that some of those fae are civilized and capable of kindness outside of their feeding habits?

Absolutely.

For a start, we have characters literally in canon Fae Tales capable of rape and sexual violence (Augus and Gwyn for a start) who don't even need to do it to survive and are still capable of kindness / compassion / being civil despite both being rapists. Likewise, Augus doesn't murder every fae he sees just because he feeds on humans, and Gwyn in an alternate universe The Nascent Diplomat doesn't lack compassion or kindness just because he must kill fae to eat. He's a literal cannibal, and he can still be incredibly kind towards people.

2. Can they have healthy interactions with others when they're not feeding? Or are they like the Nightingale and just pure evil?

It would depend on the species of fae.

3. Do some of them have boundaries/lines they refuse to cross? Like Olphix had no issues with abusing child Gwyn in TND but could there be other fae like him who choose to only feed on adults (like Augus refuses to eat human children, or like humans that eat cows but won't eat dogs/cats)?

It would honestly just depend on the species of fae. It's not just one type, there's not a one-size-fits-all answer to this. The answer would be 'yes for some, no for others, maybe for the rest.'

4. And are there different levels of sexual abuse that they can feed on? For example, could this type of fae feed on dubcon instead of outright noncon?

Absolutely - because there's more than one species of fae that does this, and it's a huge spectrum.

Also dubcon is just rape. Like it is. We call it dubcon in fanfiction terms, because it's like 'oh they don't want it until they do' or 'no one really checked for consent here but someone's still not really into it.' It's 'fanfic grey area.'

In real life that's almost still 99% of the time rape. If that was happening in Fae Tales, that's still what it'd be.

But I would say there is a spectrum between like those who are very violent about and those who are 'gentle' about it (though a violation is still a violation regardless). Likewise there'd be fae who would be trying to get away with a 'lesser' version of it and not feeding properly as a result and starving, and other fae who are gluttons because they enjoy it so much.

5. Are these fae born with their appetites or do they develop them later on like Ash and Augus developed their need for human flesh? And if the latter, do you think any of them struggled in the beginning to suddenly need to do these terrible things to others in order to survive? Do their families disown them as a result?

It would depend on the species!! (You're going to hear this a lot anon :D ) Sometimes yes, sometimes no. There are lots of different types of waterhorses too, for example. We just meet two of them up close. There's many many different types.

And I would say some still struggle with their appetite. Again, we have in-world examples of Unseelie fae struggling with their appetite: Ash being the best example.

6. Second to last question, would this type of fae be able to fall in love? And do they understand/get why others don't like them? Do they sometimes get lonely?

*takes a breath* I feel like you know what I'm going to say but it depends on the species. Generally yes there would be some who can fall in love or understand why other fae don't like them, and there will be other fae that do like them regardless of their appetite.

Honestly, many fae are more zen about Unseelie appetite vs. choosing to do something of free will when it's not needed to survive. A fae who has no choice is treated very differently to a fae who's doing something excessively for fun. Gwyn being a cannibal to survive is different to say... Gwyn being a cannibal because he just enjoys that all the time.

7. Last question, would you ever write an enemies to lovers fic about one of these fae?

Nope! I've already got the canon Fae Tales story which features two rapists as the MCs - so I'm good. :D (I'm also pretty done with the Fae Tales canon right now for at least a few more years)

Like, Augus and Gwyn are not be rapists who need to rape to feed - but I feel like we still get a lot of crunchy conversations about what's going on, and a lot of conversations about different - and more distasteful - fae appetites.

The Nascent Diplomat goes into more detail about what it's like for Gwyn to be a literal cannibal of fae souls (and sometimes fae flesh) and his complicated feelings about that. (It also has Oxcillian, a villain, who does feed on rape/assault (of a child), but he's also an asshat in general).

And The Wildness Within goes into detail on that too, with the Raven Prince literally forcing Gwyn to gorge on the souls of many fae (killing them and consuming their essence) in order to get him to confront his true appetite, which causes Gwyn to have a breakdown.

The Gancanagh feeds on young people pining to death because of unrequited love, and has stolen the lives of many teenagers in particular, sadistically enjoying every second of their misery and agony until they pine away into nothingness. That's not rape, but that's not nothing either. And he's one of the people who supports Ash a great deal in The Ice Plague.

And the Raven Prince can steal people's languages as his appetite, which is actually - in the Unseelie world - viewed as one of the worst violations there is.

But yeah generally the TL;DR is 'it depends' because this is a giant universe populated with tens of thousands of species of fae, of which we only ever see a very small sampling. I've enjoyed tackling complex questions of like 'my appetite is cannibalism / killing people with unrequited love / eating humans extremely sadistically / eating an entire culture out of existence / stealing language and turning people into panicked beasts until they often kill themselves out of fear' etc. while also tackling Gwyn and Augus just being rapists in general, so...

I also don't feel like Fae Tales itself doesn't have an answer for this based on all the lateral kind of 'conversations' and themes it's had happening around fae appetites and actions in general? Like...I feel like the characters that exist answer a lot of these speculative examples with like 'oh yeah because this character feeds on something different that's also monstrous and we're all rooting for him to have a really happy ending even though he's out there killing and eating the souls of people's family members and sometimes just ripping their necks out at the same time (love you Gwyn and also in a separate way Augus asdlkfjdsa).'

Fae Tales from the perspective of Augus and Gwyn is a love story.

Fae Tales from the perspective of one of the family members of one of Augus' victims is a horror story. That's just how it is sometimes.

#asks and answers #fae tales verse #fae tales #fae tales worldbuilding #gwyn ap nudd #augus each uisge #the rapist thing is so easy because like #gwyn and augus are both canonical rapists #the rape/noncon warning is there for *them* #(oh and a little bit the nightingale aslfdjas) #administrator gwyn wants this in the queue #(OH and a little bit eran early on when he pimps mosk out salkfjasd)

[not-poignant]

Hi Pia! Hope you had a nice time over the holidays.

Since Gwyn is such a despicable asshole in UtB has he ever raped or assaulted anyone? Who is he attracted to (other than himself lol) and what do you think his kinks are?

And did he ever learn the Omega Theory modules co-written by Temsen at the school he went to? What did he think of them if so?

Hi anon!

I definitely think it's possible that Gwyn in Underline the Black has already raped/assaulted an omega, though I don't think he's really attracted to anyone, and I imagine that kind of scenario happened because his gym friends egged him on and he hired someone to kind of 'relieve' himself with (i.e. so he paid, but he was too rough).

Gwyn isn't attracted to anyone at all (normal for peak alphas) and I don't think he has any kinks aside from those that come with most peak alphas (control and sometimes aggression).

Tbh I don't think of most of the alphas or peak alphas in the Underline series as being kinky, beyond that which is the natural territory of them being an alpha or peak alpha! Augus is the only one I think of as actually being into BDSM.

The rest so far are just doing what comes naturally to them re: displaying ownership, being controlling, or displaying alpha dominance. Aside from 'the kink is built in' - this is a not very kinky universe! That's why so many of these alphas and peak alphas aren't using safewords, and aren't negotiating anything in advance. They're having what they know to be completely normal sex.

I'm sure Gwyn did learn Omega Theory, and much like Efnisien says to Gary, Gwyn was probably one of the alphas who went and harassed an omega immediately after just to make a point. Efnisien wouldn't have made this observation if he hadn't lived with someone like Gwyn, I think!

A lot of what Efnisien says about omegas is rehashed from his family. Efnisien calling Omega Theory modules 'utopian nonsense' is very much something he likely heard a version of from Gwyn in the past. It sometimes takes Efnisien a little while to start using his own language for things, and until then, we hear a lot of Gwyn's words in his mouth when he describes omegas and his feelings towards them.

#asks and answers #gwyn ap nudd #underline the rainbow #like as always #if it's not in the story it's not canon #so i might change my mind whether gwyn has actually assaulted anyone or not (other than efnisien who has absolutely abused) #it's definitely not canon that he has #but it's certainly within his mindset #i don't think he'd necessarily seek it out because he gets more 'sexual satisfaction' (i say this loosely) #from being in control of his environment #than he does from being attracted to people and consuming that #as is normal for most peak alphas

[not-poignant]

Hey there. Do you have any tips on how to stay consistent with writing, and how to stay focused on the task at hand?

Hi anon!

So firstly, I've answered versions of this question quite a few times so you might want to go into the 'Pia on Writing' tag because they'll be there.

A quick look has found:

How to write more words regularly - This one is good for just...straight up practical advice.

But I wanted to speak frankly which is - what works for me might not work for you! We all have different strengths and weaknesses and depending on how we orient towards writing depends on what those weaknesses are. For example, I need to learn how to take more breaks and rest more, and not write as much. The 'writing a lot and sometimes too much' comes pretty easily to me these days.

Not all writers are meant to be consistent writers. I don't have a daily habit and I haven't written anything at all in a week and a half. I have my monthly wordcount and that's it. Someone else might need to write or edit every day, in order to not lose sight of their projects. Someone else might need five intensive days a month. It will depend on their nature, their personality.

Not all writers have the same reasons behind why they can't stay focused on a task. I have ADHD, but I can also hyperfocus on characters and a storyline. Others have ADHD, and cannot hyperfocus on their characters or storyline long enough to finish a story. That's a problem I don't know how to remedy, because I don't have that kind of ADHD, so I've never had to 'solve' it before. Some writers are perfectionists which hamper them, I am not a perfectionist and I'd rather the thing be out in the world with some flaws, than on my computer talking to no one. I need the dopamine more than I need something to be perfect. So you see anon, sometimes the things that impact us just aren't universal, which means you need more specific advice. There will be perfectionist writers who will have lots of great advice, there will be ADHD writers who get bored of a story who have great advice. :D

What I will say is that pretty universally, writing consistently and staying focused are both like muscles in the body. I'm where I'm at today because I've had 9-10 years of practice doing this, and when you start out (which the above link addresses) you will need to aim more realistically and reasonably, and start there.

It's also worth having a really grounded sense of why you want to write more consistently / focus more on your writing. Is it for fun? Is it because you want to finish a project? Is that project something you'll feel good if you finish or are you over it? Is it because you want to make an income? (Have you considered there are approximately 40 billion easier ways to make an income?) Is it because you just want to see if you can do it?

Sitting down and thinking about your motivations here will help motivate you if you can keep your goals in mind. And it will also help clarify what you get out of writing in the first place.

Re: Staying focused. It depends on your distractions. I use music, that helps me. That might be terrible for you. I make sure I'm eating well - the brain needs carbs and fats, and my whole body needs protein and fibre - so I'll have a decent breakfast before starting out. Sleep is important. Drinking regularly is important. There's very basic things here which seem obvious that help a ton with concentration, but if you're not doing them, they're a good place to start. You'd be surprised how much just 'eating balanced meals, drinking regularly and sleeping enough hours' helps with concentration. Like, so much.

A friend of mine uses the Pomodoro method (that would drive me nuts), there's using write-ins like Twitch streams to basically 'body double' with other people who are writing at the same time (I find this very motivational). There's gamification like 4TheWords (love this site). There's 'I get to have a cookie if I write another 200 words.' There's 'actually I've lost focus because this part of the story might be broken and if I just do this the river will start to flow again' as a writing technique.

Mostly, you'll need the time and space to just amass the number of techniques you need to help with both focus and writing regularly. But in all of this, it's vital to be patient with yourself. You can't expect yourself to take a week to end up somewhere that someone else took 3 or 4 years to get to. And it won't be...consistent. Don't side-eye me or anything, but like, we're not meant to be machines, even people who write relatively consistently (like me) need breaks, get burnt out, get tired, are over it, and sometimes need brand new techniques to start working again. Knowing that it's not a linear upward curve of ever-increasing focus lets you also just...be compassionate and patient with yourself.

Oh yeah, because you'll have to get good at both of these too anon. :D Learning discipline and being firm with yourself can't work successfully if you also then mentally punish yourself for not doing it 'well enough' to the point where you don't want to do it anymore. Cultivating the 'I'll try again tomorrow' or 'I did great today!' parts of your brain help a ton with consistency. If you know you're going to be kind to yourself for doing well, and firm but compassionate with yourself when you don't, all of this gets way, way easier.

#asks and answers #pia on writing #as i get older i realise that like #i can teach people like me how to write like i do #but there are so many writers who aren't like me #who need techniques that wouldn't work for me #or that i can't even offer advice on because i haven't used them #i realised recently for example that i don't really get writer's block anymore #my biggest issues really are around taking breaks and being more structured #if someone else's biggest issue is they take too many breaks #i'm more likely to need advice from them lol #we are all so different re: how we approach writing and what we need to do it #i am always willing to help #doing the CliftonStrengths quiz really changed the way i thought of this #highly recommend looking into Becca Syme's work re: writing #she's amazing

[not-poignant]

Hi Pia!

Do you have any advice on how to hook readers? Like how so you decide on what sentence or subject or scene to start with at the beginning of a story that will encourage readers to continue?

I've told multiple different things by people, like to start in the middle of the action or with dialogue, but I'm still not sure and have no idea what I'm doing 😆

Hi anon,

Hilariously I have been told that my beginnings aren't always very good so you should really take this all with a grain of salt, lol. Go beneath the 'read more' if you want to just get some actual practiceable advice that you can start doing immediately to get better at beginnings.

Generally speaking, starting in the middle of the action scene or with dialogue is a distillation of something deeper and simpler:

Most authors start the story too early, because they need more exposition than the reader does, because they're learning the world and the characters and often have to learn it by writing them. This means that by the time they get to the good stuff, in many cases, they are 5-10 chapters in, and you can often safely drop all of those chapters, and other readers would have zero problems understanding the story, because the author has basically told themselves the story of those characters etc. and set up the major action.

This is especially true of authors who are learning to write, and still learning to feel out a story. And anon, you can't always shortcut this even if you do start in the middle of an action scene or in the middle of a dialogue scene. Sometimes you've just got to take it with grace when you hand a manuscript to a beta and they say 'cut the first 10 chapters, it's stronger without them.' I've had to do this to friends, and I've had this done re: my own writing.

The Ice Plague initially started - before I ever put it up - with Olphix going into the Aur forest and setting it on fire. That's a very strong, traumatising, major scene! No one can deny that's not starting with an action scene of great gravity. But it just wasn't the right place to start. I realised something was wrong and took a long hiatus, and then it came to me that it was more important narratively for the reader not to understand where Mosk's grief came from or what had happened to him.

The story had to start with Eran, and it had to start 9 months after that action scene, and if I had started The Ice Plague with my initial idea, I would have had to cut around 15 unnecessary chapters to get to the good bit, lol. (I do actually think The Ice Plague has a strong beginning). Mosk's history had to be mysterious and something that got revealed over time, in the same way that it was revealed over time. And I couldn't learn that until I started writing the story.

Sometimes, anon, you can know all the technical things about why some stories are stronger if they start in an action scene or with dialogue (some are weaker for it), but the only way you can really get through it is via...writing the story.

(Actual practical advice beneath the start plus a whole bunch of opening sentences).

Re: A hooky start, for myself, I want to start with an interesting first sentence. Something that interests me, lol, but something that I think would be interesting if someone else read it too.

I actually think the opening sentence of Stuck on the Puzzle is terrible, lmao. But I think the opening chapter is great. Anyway, here's a list of some of my opening sentences and you can decide or think about what you like about them, what you don't like, and if any of them prompts you to read further. Think about why, as well. What was it? What bit did you want to know more about:

Cateline described Grimglass as the ‘ass end of Corambis,’ and certainly while the heavy clouds hung over the sea like a pall, I could see what she meant.

Connor stared intently at the computer as it booted up, looked around the otherwise dark room, and then up to the security cameras he'd disabled. (This is not a very strong opening sentence, I think the whole paragraph is better lol).

Alex liked that they were both, in a way, failures.

In high school, Alex used to imagine forcing Sebastian to give him blowjobs. 

Red galaxies fired beneath Efnisien’s eyelids. (This one is also stronger in the whole paragraph imho).

The An-Fnwy estate was just as grand and imposing as Augus Each Uisge had imagined when he was an underfae teenager, living in a lake nearby.

When the Oak King proclaimed the new fae era, the ‘Season of Turning,’ we all assumed it would be a time of positive change, of growth. (Blah, the ORIGINAL first sentence was from the start of the next chapter).

Augus Each Uisge, predatory waterhorse, Unseelie fae, was bored.

Jack shifted uncomfortably in his ceremonial soldier’s uniform.

The magic around Eran’s wrist throbbed, the beetle-black ink of the months-old tattoo sinking deeper into his flesh.

Gwyn stood, embarrassed, in his wrestling gear.

Efnisien had forty four books in his plain grey melamine bookshelf.

The sun was bright red on the horizon, looking more like a bomb, the smell of smoke acrid in the back of Faber’s nose.

‘I hear they want to promote you to nursery manager,’ a voice said smoothly. ‘What a coup indeed.’

Almost eight months had passed, the next time Gwyn saw Augus.

-

Generally speaking I like to establish mood quickly, particularly embarrassment, discomfort, boredom, or the kind of emotion that you want to see resolved. These folks all have big and small problems they need fixing, and with very few exceptions, I want people to know that immediately, so that they'll...ideally stick around and watch the problems get fixed (or get worse lol). I also start strongly with character, rather than just...detached setting description.

That works for me, it might be different for you! Go find all your favourite books and read their opening sentences and paragraphs, do some research anon. Stop listening to friends (and ChatGPT written articles on how to write because there's so many now x.x) who say 'start in dialogue' or 'start in action' and do the research that teaches you why people say stuff like this and why it's also not always right. Don't even listen to me - I don't always write strong beginnings and I'm very open about that - go get 10 books, 20 books, 50 books, and write down their first sentences or paragraphs in a word document or in Google Docs and study them.

Which ones do you love? Which do you find boring? Which do you remember thinking 'ehhh maybe it gets better.' Notice and actively look for the things that hook you and the things that don't. How many start with dialogue? Or action? How many start with emotion, or description? How many are starting with setting, character, something else?

Try practicing writing sentences like this, or imagining openings like this for your own works. Learn by doing. How would you change the openings by genre? How would you change the voice by character? Alex's opening sentences are very strongly in his voice. Meanwhile Mosk's voice in Smoke in Autumn is non-existent, we literally start with Augus' dialogue dominating and intruding upon his mind and thoughts.

And then realise sometimes you still have to write 10 chapters that you might need to cut (hey bonus content that readers will want to devour one day! Make sure you save it :D ), to find the right place to start your story. It sucks, but it happens. I've been through this with Mallory & Mount and only now after like over a year have I figured out exactly where I have to start that damned story, and I finally have my opening sentence, which is:

The guard looked at Lewis Mount like the murderer he was.

And I love that opening sentence :D I'm biased, but I think it's very hooky.

Writing beginnings and endings is a craft, but you'll learn with practice! And you'll learn a lot via research. Thankfully, you probably like reading, which means you can start researching literally right now.

The best way to learn what you're doing is to learn from the people who have already done it successfully. This is sometimes famous writers, but just as often it's looking at what your favourite writers are doing. Chances are you maybe want to write a little bit like them, so go study their opening sentences! Maybe they don't have strengths in that, but I bet some of them do.

And from there you can study opening paragraphs, opening chapters. You can feel out the ones you wanted to skip, the ones you'd read again and again, the ones you love, the ones you didn't feel anything over. :D

Anyway I think this is probably a pretty good place to start! The folks giving you advice have the right idea, it's just good to understand why it's the right idea. The best way to get to that is to just...research openings of books for yourself and decide what you like, what you'd like to write like, and then trying it out for yourself :D

#asks and answers #pia on writing #dodgy advice #i have definitely gotten better at openings #the opening for the nascent diplomat made me laugh #it's so bad #administrator gwyn wants this in the queue

[not-poignant]

Hiya Pia. I know you've said you will never write f/m or f/f stories but what about ftm/m? Would you ever write a main character who was a transman or is that in the same nope category? Thanks

Hello there!

I have written f/f, just not in a dedicated fashion. It's only ever been in oneshots etc. But there's at least one Fenwrel/Gulvi oneshot out there. :D

I've definitely considered writing trans characters, and nonbinary characters, at the moment it doesn't really jangle around in my brain the same way mostly because of my own trans/nonbinary experience, and I often try and avoid writing /thinks/ my gender experience into stories, because of complexity and dysphoria and a few other things. It's also a reason for example why I don't really write many fat MCs either. The 'it hits very close to home and I still have stuff I'm unpacking around it' thing makes it not easier, but harder.

I've noticed that some authors find it a lot easier to write that stuff into stories, but I've talked to a friend who similarly struggles (who is also transmasc) about how much we sort of...have had issues writing these sorts of characters if they just hit too close to home. And I think it's partly that while my writing allows me to explore things, it does need to feel at least a little escapist to me too.

Anyway, what you've listed above would to me still just be straight up m/m, it's just a flavour of m/m that I don't really write at this time.

Kimerrin/Gwyn is probably the closest version of it, right now. But the vench aren't human, and don't have human gender (which honestly helps a lot).

I do read quite a few stories with trans characters, but writing it feels different. I'm definitely not ruling it out, it's not a hard no or anything, it's just not where I'm really pulled for my future stories right now, I apologise!

#asks and answers #pia on writing #aodhan had some gender stuff going on #i think he'll eventually be genderqueer or genderfluid #once he realises #but like thomas and aodhan have an m/m relationship #but aodhan is nonbinary and talks about gender very clearly as not identifying as a 'man' in the classic sense #i think if i did write trans characters #i'd be more interested in generally writing nonbinary characters #or transmasc vs. trans men for example #just because of personal reasons and like #my own experience of gender as well #administrator gwyn wants this in the queue

[not-poignant]

Hi Pia, do you have a date planned for when Mallory & Mount will be released? I'm super excited for this new long fic

I don't, unfortunately! It was meant to be this year, but I'm finding Underline the Black and its spinoffs way too interesting right now. My response got long so I'm going to tl;dr a response with: My last fully original story did the worst out of any story I had ever written and kept declining over 4 years which hurts, also the worldbuilding is a lot.

There are a couple of reasons for my struggle with Mallory & Mount and the first is that the worldbuilding is pretty intense (and still has a little more growing to do):

(this is on the Obsidian software - every node is an article.)

The second is actually that I actually just...don't love writing brand new worlds with heavy worldbuilding. I have thought of two ways to overcome this which is to a) start with small side-stories first featuring characters who aren't our main characters to get a feel for the world and the language, and b) to potentially write Mallory & Mount in another form (like a Fae Tales AU) to get a feel for new characters in a world that I don't have to remember from scratch. (Though I don't really want to do either).

At any rate, much like The Court of Five Thrones and The Ice Plague, that kind of writing is some of the hardest and most laboursome that I do. I have no guarantee that anyone will really want to read it in a way that makes it financially viable, after watching the Fae Tales canon slowly tank over time, and I know from experience that tropes + cliffhangers do better on AO3 over more classic fantasy style writing. At least for me. Which makes Mallory & Mount a financial risk to my livelihood and an emotional risk to just thinking I'm...okay at writing, which is like...whoof, really tough to commit to when it's going to be the hardest writing I do out of any of my stories!

That doesn't mean I won't write it! It just means I need some time to kind of psych myself up beforehand, lmao. I had these feelings and fears before The Ice Plague, and you know what, a lot of my fears came true: It was a terrible performer, it is the worst performing long Fae Tales story out of all of them. In fact, it is the worst long-perform story I've ever written across two accounts, including a fanfiction rarepair that's so rare two of the books aren't being published anymore.

I can't put myself through that again this year and I don't know if I can put myself through that again next year either. I need time to heal so I can destroy myself again lmao. Like there's no guarantee this will happen (hey it might go great!), but I went through it once, and the hard thing about serials is that you go through that pain for consecutive years.

It's not a published novel you can just put behind you when it tanks (like The Gentle Wolf - which I still love, it just...was not loved by that many fellow people, though I still see you, Aodhan and Thomas fans). You're still publishing it over the years, stuck with it, trying your best by the readers and characters and wondering what to do and why you suck so much at writing, and you have all these well-meaninged readers often telling you things that you already know (even though having your flaws pointed out for 4 years is not that helpful) but can't change without abandoning the story, or they're telling you things that just straight up hurt like 'I just don't like these characters compared to Gwyn and Augus' which definitely makes you not want to continue either writing Gwyn and Augus or Mosk and Eran.

So yeah, some 'part-writing-wound-stage-fright' has turfed Mallory & Mount from 'upcoming' to 'I don't know when but maybe one day.' I do know one thing, if it does badly, I'll abandon it, because I can't put myself through like 4 years of The Ice Plague again, and Mallory & Mount will potentially span at least this long. Like, I've been burnt out since finishing The Ice Plague and most of it is emotional. I've been writing easy, lazy stories ever since (by my standards). I question if I can even write a completely original series that anyone would want to read, even if it sounds interesting now, or is interesting in a little short story. That's different in a new long story and my last experiences in both publishing an original novel, and also an original series were...really really really hard.

If a new original long story can't reach new readers in a way that sort of grows my writing career and income, I am...going to stop doing them? Because it sort of indicates to me that I'm shit at it. I don't need to keep being terrible at something for like 5+ years over multiple stories to know that I'm just not getting better at it and might be getting worse, lol.

(I am endlessly grateful to all the readers who did stay engaged, or who liked The Ice Plague and The Gentle Wolf, y'all are the MVPs of 'Pia still writing today' <3333)

#asks and answers #mallory & mount #m&m #mandm #anon i am SO SORRY #i know you didn't expect or probably want a long answer #i had an emotional realisation while writing the response #and then was like ohhhHHHH i don't actually think it iS mostly the worldbuilding or anything like that #i think it's that the last 5 years has taught me any original story i do #will perform the worst out of all of my stories #all i have is fanfiction and spin-offs of an original world i started 8 years ago #and now i'm sad

[not-poignant]

Hi Pia! Hoping you can help explain something. Ash is aro in the canon and I understand what aro is (though maybe not, if I'm asking haha). I'm struggling to really understand what's termed "romantic attraction" since I see what Ash is doing as being friendly but sometimes I feel like it's what I should expect as being romantic. I did look up the definition of romantic attraction but it left me with more questions. It's such a vague definition! I guess, how does Ash explain it, if asked?

Aro anon, forgot to finish. I looked up signs up of how to tell when you're in love or feeling romantic attraction and even those just seemed like regular friend things. Thinking about a person often, feeling happy around them, wanting to do things with them. But I guess it's really the intent that matters or something along those lines? Thanks for letting me ramble on about this, it's been eating at my thoughts for months.

-

Hi anon

With this kind of stuff, you might not like the answer, but it's self defined.

You can look up as many definitions as you want, but ultimately the final arbiter of what is and feels like a romantic act, is you.

As an example, the guy I live with takes all of his friends out to one-on-one dinners at nice restaurants or cafes. He's aromantic as fuck, and he would take all of his friends - guys, girls, nonbinary - to cafes and restaurants for long chats, delicious meals, and that kind of conversational intimacy.

Some people might think that's romantic. He doesn't. His definition for the difference is: 'I would do that for/with any of my friends.'

On the other hand, he doesn't tend to care about or remember anniversaries, think flowers are important, care about receiving gifts at important events from a partner etc. For him, these things are romantically loaded a lot of the time, and while he'll do them for a romantic partner, he won't get any romantic satisfaction personally from performing these acts. To him, these are the acts that he feels are romantic: Celebrating and marking anniversaries, Valentine's Day, giving presents at 'expected' times of the year, particular kinds of presents.

To him, being expected to share a bed with the person you live with is 'romantic' - so he doesn't do that. It doesn't fit who he is as a person, and he doesn't think it adds anything meaningful or special to a relationship and can even detract from it. He can spend the night with a partner, but he wouldn't want that to be a defining aspect of a relationship. I.e. if a partner demanded it, that would be a dealbreaker for him.

It's up to you to define what you think of as romantic, and why. And it will be different for each person, and it can be strongly influenced by culture. It can even change from person to person. I'm gray-aromantic. So I like being in romantic friendships, but I usually prefer (not always) aromantic / queerplatonic relationships.

Sometimes the question 'would I do this for a friend, or do I only expect to do this for a partner' can help (but not always, obviously what we do for some friends is not what we'd do for all of them), sometimes the question 'do I want to engage in this romantic social ritual / does this feel meaningful to me / does this give me the ick' can help. Sometimes the question 'what feels romantic to me, and do I want that in my life' can help.

I can't answer this from Ash's perspective because he hates labels, and so he wouldn't call himself romantic or aromantic or any of those things. He just knows what he likes. But I know he's aromantic, so you're getting my response, lmao.

Also a lot of it comes down to what Ash feels is romantic. Ash would hug and cuddle all of his friends. (And strangers, let's admit it). He'd also fuck and kiss them. To him, all of those things aren't romantic. They're intimate, but that's not the same. And they're expressions of love, but that's also not the same.

If you feel like those things are romantic, then like, that's your definition for you, and that's awesome.

Romantic orientation is self-defined, because we decide what is romantic as we grow up, and we decide our feelings about it when it's time to form (or not form) relationships. It can be fluid, like all of the orientations.

#asks and answers #personal #ash would never call himself romantic or aromantic #he'd very much use his glamour to avoid talking about labels #but just because someone sees him as romantic #doesn't mean he isn't aromantic #it just means he's doing things that the other person would find romantic personally #and ash doesn't #and ultimately he decides #not the other person