#a digital man made of pixels has my heart

[flumphmatingritualsexpert]

I love how with every class, even sorcerers, Gale will say "You did it! You're channeling the weave!" And while it makes sense, due to wizards being the class that utilize the weave as their primary form of magic, I still melt every single time he says "Look at that. We're channeling the weave." Someone help, my heart has seized.

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #gale romance #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate #baldur's gate iii #baldurs gate #baldurs gate iii #gale #gale x tav #My heart is melting #don't mind me #just having a heart attack #a digital man made of pixels has my heart

[harmcityherald]

you know, that's the first time I wrote that out about brandy. I should be worried how it makes me look maybe. I don't know. its the fucking truth and that's one thing the whole 10 billion of you get from me on whatever page I word vomit on. I don't care who I vomit on. I don't care if I offend you with the truth. Quite different than offending you with a lie. Or a pop up puppet of something I want you to think I am. I don't like lies. that comes from my transgender experience. (clutch your pearls) If you know what the "talk" is, then you know.

Yes, dear readers I had "the talk" more than once. I made rules for myself. those rules still live inside me just like ranny still lives inside me. So yea I got this big thing about lies and facades and manufacturing false impressions. I broke the heart of a man from Australia who I was quite head over heels for. I have never forgotten it.

In second life there was eddie. he bought the best penis in sl, according to him. they all loved eddie. I was the dj. but he took a shine to me, naturally. eddie was from sweden. he was a good guy. violently hetero though. to him I was the brunette dj with all the tattoos. the librarian no less. so he asks me, middle of a set mind you, if I want to come back to his place and try out his new washing machine. if you sit on it you have an orgasm. my partner in crime, danana, was like you GOTTA go!!! omg its eddie. im like but...but....the talk.

fuck the talk dont tell him shit lol.

I just cant do that, I will find a way. he deserves the truth. this was post wash so that pain was fresh.

so my show ends and now all the girls see me leaving with eddie lol. my dms are blowing up but I go. honestly I want to see this washing machine. so we make small talk and he gets frisky and I let him to a point and then he sits me on this washing machine. its just like a pose ball. it animates your avatar having an orgasm and thats when I chose my time.

"Eddddiiiieeed IIii hhhaaavvve sooooomethiiing tooooo tellll yooooooou." because im like a sext drama machine right? "Iiiiimmmm a maaaaan." now in sl we owned our land. i owned my library grounds and I have the power to kick anyone from the server. that bitch blew me off that washer and strait out his place and I fucking land right in the middle of the party place like digital karma that cant exist. danana says you told him didn't you. Im like yea but that was funny as shit. eddie stayed friends and I didn't ride him too hard. later after I had left sl I learned that eddie died. I was very sad about that. my point? I wouldn't even lie to sl fonzie with the "best dick in sl" in a chat room with cartoons because thats what it was and thats what the metaverse will devolve into. trust me. I been there. what was special about sl were the people who accepted me. danana and wash and delphi and eif and amari and kasey. who I was extremely honored to meet in DC at a library convention where she entered my digital library on to the list of accredited libraries. we were only there a year. after that 50 bucks a month for my pixel world became too much. that plus I had lost the line between fantasy and reality. maybe fantasy is the wrong word. ranny is there. she has always been there. but so is xid and greg and max. there's a secret for you too. ran-xid. sun and moon. duality you can not imagine and I pity you that you can not experience it. I was bringing ran into the real world. you got questions and maybe I will answer you someday. maybe not. I chose my grandkids. I made the most feminine decision of my life. To be the man they needed. The one I was good at being. so there's your answer. but ranny? she still talks to me. I don't remember how this post started. oh yes, brandy. and my questionable admissions to the greater public. there's a hundred other stories. hopefully I have time to tell them all so the entire world hates me lol. I love you, all 10 billion of you. even you, stalking me from fb like you gonna tell someone some juicy shit about me. go ahead everybody knows and I never lie. unless I see someone shoplifting food. then I didn't see shit, officer. so yea that's a lie I would tell.

lol most people's aversion to lies is religion. mine ain't. lol.

#wait till I tell you some real world stories lol

[factsmoon]

Snail mail

The illustrations of the snails taking this letter across the country are adorable and the weather and landscapes of our country share the idea of the snails traveling a long distance to get this letter delivered. This book would be a great introduction to a summer project of writing a letter a week or maybe even connecting with a pen pal, a distant cousin, or friend who moved away. In fact, it would be a great way to encourage your children to write letters to family members or friends, whether they live across the street or across the country. I think children will find this story silly but also be inspired to write their own letter. The snails must deliver the letter and "neither rain, nor snow, nor heat, nor hail will stop a snail from bringing the mail." So, this story makes fun of the term and has four snails take on the task of delivering a letter from a girl on one side of the US to a boy on the other side of the US. Sometimes, it feels like it is going at a snail's pace. Snail Mail is a term used to describe the delivery of mail. In this story, the love of sending letters is told through four snails who personally deliver a love letter all the way across the USA. She personally delivered thousands of pieces of mail through sleet, hail, blizzards, heat, and flat tires. When was the last time you wrote or received an actual letter in the mail? Both of my parents worked for the postal service with my mom working the longest as a rural carrier for over 25 years. A lot of love and heart is put into the writing and sending of letters. Nothing says "Love" like a hand-written letter. (Note: A copy of this book was provided to The Baby Bookworm by the publisher in exchange for an honest review.)īe sure to check out The Baby Bookworm for more reviews! But overall, a pretty darn sweet story with a great lesson in slowing down to appreciate the world around us. Also, there were some spots in the art that seemed oddly pixelated, but this is likely a formatting or printing error. A few complaints: I’m not wild about children being represented as having romantic relationships in general, and that was undeniably shown here. The character art is adorable, and imbues the friendly-looking snails with personality and charm throughout, and has some lovely, subtle details and visual gags. The main theme is a reminder that faster isn’t always better: the hand-made letter, how much the snails enjoy the sights and experiences of their journey – these are good lessons in both the virtues and rewards of patience. At last, they deliver the letter to its recipient and are rewarded handsomely for their efforts.Ī cute story with some great lessons. The four plucky creatures carry the girl’s letter across the United States, seeing deserts, mountains, plains, and wonders both natural and man-made. Such a thing simply can’t be sent by computer, so she enlists the dedicated Snail Mail carriers: Dale Snail, Gail Snail, Col. She made it herself, wrote it in her own hand, it even smells a little like her. And to this day, most people agree that some things are just better when sent by Snail Mail – for instance, the letter that a little girl in California is sending to a boy in New York. Hello, friends! Our book today is Snail Mail, written by Samantha Berger and illustrated by Julia Patton, a charmingly original tale about four diligent mail carriers who just so happen to be snails.īefore the days of emails and digital communication, there was a thing called Snail Mail – actual, physical letters and packages sent from one person to another. Visit us for new picture books reviews daily! This review was originally written for The Baby Bookworm. Kids and parents alike will delight in this celebration of America's beauty and the power of a simple handwritten letter. Julia Patton's rich illustrations showcase America's diverse terrain and national monuments from coast to coast. Snail Mail's playful and educational story encourages kids to have slow living, and to approach life with determination and wonder. The snails trek across the country-through desert heat and dangerous blizzards, across mountains and plains, through cities and forests-and along the way, they find that taking time to slow down and look around makes the journey all the more beautiful.

One such letter was sent by a Girl to the Boy she loved, and it was up to four special snails to deliver her card across the country. They might even contain a surprise inside! Although it took much longer, everyone agreed that letters were a little more special when they were delivered by Snail Mail. A long, long time ago, before email and texting, the mail was delivered in a much slower way-it was called Snail Mail (because some thought it was delivered by a snail).

#Snail mail

[artzychic27]

In honor of the glorious pride month (Coming up soon), please enjoy these Miraculous Pride Headcanons!

Inspired by this post by @transvoltronhc

You a TERF? Fuck off, beeyatch!

Marinette- The Pan Trans Queen we all Need 🏳️‍⚧️

She/Her- Pansexual/Polyamorous

Every time Marinette inhales, a terf gets punched

Every time Marinette exhales, a trans kid gets a flag

She and Nathaniel supply the face paint

She’s very vocal at pride and gets super violent with protesters

Marinette: *Punching protester while her friends cheer* I don’t wanna see your disgusting face here ever again, you filthy pig! Same goes for the rest of you!

Terfs go to protest, walk away covered in bruises and with a tiny crush on the bluenette

Got into a muscle-flexing contest and won first

Dyed her hair the colors of the pan flag and walks around with a brightly colored, bedazzled trans flag cape

Supplies juice boxes and cookies for the pride kids

She and Marc pass out colorful binders, flower crowns, and starter makeup kits

Drag Queens and Kings LOVE her and are always giving her hugs whenever she walks by / She’s even been commissioned by them to make outfits for their next shows. The audience loved them

Alya- The Badass Pansexual Pirate 🏴‍☠️

She/Her but is not opposed to They/Them

Actually has dressed like a pirate with a sword the colors of her flag. Anarka was so proud

Will punch TERFs with their Pan bestie any day

Ships random people

Leaves many girls swooning as she walks by in her thigh high leather boots

Alya: Sorry ladies, I’m spoken for. *Kisses Nino*

No one dares to flirt with her because she’s out of everyone’s league

One protester made a transphobic comment about Nino, and Alya immediately hit em with a frying Pan

The chaotic aunt of pride

Death drops are flawless!

Hands out phone cases they painted the colors of different pride flags

Born This Way is her anthem

Has many pride-themed superhero tank-tops ‘Super Gay 4 Super Girl’ ‘I’m Bi Man’ ‘Deadpool was at Stonewall’

Nino- The Insanely Cool Bi Trans Guy 😎🏳️‍⚧️

He/Him

Marinette made him a bedazzled cape so they could match

Mari and Kim’s brother in Transness

Dresses in hoodies no matter how hot it is

One of the mom friends. / Everyone wants to be adopted by him. / He once put everyone on baby leashes so they wouldn’t wander off

Everyone refers to him as “Trans DJ Jesus” because he wore sandals with a long curly wig one time. (To this day, no one knows why he did it)

Takes a five-minute break to Vogue with the drag queens

Supplies the music while skateboarding. He blasts every gay national anthem known to humankind

Alya, Adrien, Marinette, and Kim are very protective of him. Once, a TERF pushed him to the ground. Alya, Marinette, and Kim beat up the TERF while Adrien treated his friend to some ice cream

Adrien- Shit! We lost the baby! 🏳️‍🌈😱

He/Him & She/Her- Bigender/Bisexual/Polyamorous

Can’t stop, won’t stop wandering off because he’s never been to a Pride parade before

He was surprised at how accepting his father was. Although, it probably had something to do with Nathalie and Gorilla threatening to expose him as Hawkmoth if he didn’t let Adrien go

The class goes ballistic whenever she goes missing and will interrogate anyone

Myléne: *Interrogating a drag queen* Are you hiding him in your wig?! / Marinette: Get her out! She’s so frail! Her dad doesn’t feed her! / Nino: Found him! He was getting ice cream. / Myléne: ... You are free to go.

Nino has to put him on a baby leash every time

Drinks the most juice boxes and eats the most ice cream

Can’t tell when he’s being flirted with / Rando: Hey, cutie. / Adrien: ... My name is Adrien.

Bigender legwarmers, bracelets, and headbands

Dresses in pastels every year, and people just wanna hug him / He's happy to oblige and will hug anyone / Vows to hug the hate out of protesters

Every time Adrien smiles or laughs, a transgender child is accepted by friends and family and then gets a flower crown

Keeps getting asked if she and Marinette are dating. / Adrien: No, we’re just shopping buddies. (Secretly wishes for more)

A girl once asked if he was Cinderella when he wore a blue headband, and he immediately said yes. Now every week for Pride month, she dresses as a different Disney Princess

Nearly fainted when Marinette and Luka entered a flexing contest and Luka’s sleeves tore

Kim- Mari and Nino’s Bi brother in Trans Pride🏳️‍⚧️

He/Him & They/Them- Gender nonconforming

Kim: I’m a guy, I like blouses and heels, deal with it, people!

Kim/Mari/Nino: Bedazzled Cape Squad!

Muscle shirts and converse sneakers / Has a tank top that reads, ‘I flexed so hard the sleeves came off’

Got into a muscle-flexing contest against Luka and Marinette and got third place (No one beats Marinette)

Also can’t tell when they’re being flirted with

Alix and Max convinced him to dress in drag, and he went all out. Now he has the respect of many drag queens. And every pride parade, he wears heels and a huge wig

Gives everyone (Mainly Max) piggyback rides

Asked Max to be his boyfriend at one pride parade, and people thought it was so cute! They named that day, ‘Kimax Day’

Max- Not a Robot, I’m Agender 🤖

They/Them

Has many pride tank-tops and pins with puns / ‘Error 404 Gender Not Found’ ‘I Don’t Speak Binary Code’ ‘2/3 of the Invisible Trio’

Has Marinette paint their cheeks the colors of the agender and asexual flags

Has one of those digital backpacks with pixelated images on the front

Downloads Pride songs for Markov to blasts from their speakers

When they and Alix convinced Kim to dress in drag, Max may or may not have drooled a bit

Progress Pride Flag cape, socks, and nails

When protestors attack, Max goes all LGBT scientist on their butts, explaining the difference between gender and sex, what hormone blockers actually do, and how not every gay person has AIDS

Once beat up a sleazy protester for... Feeling Kim down there / Max: *Hitting protester with a baseball bat* If you ever do that again, I will fit Markov with a laser and have them slice your rotten dick off!

Marinette and Nathaniel helped them make pride bracelets with the sexualities and gender identities written in binary code. The pride nerds LOVED them

Nathaniel: Our Beautiful BiRomantic Son 🎨

He/Him

He and Marinette paint everyone’s faces before every pride parade

Painted an asexual heart on his Bi flag and wore it as a cape

Cuffed jeans, boots, tucked-in shirt, beanie, pride buttons / Paints pride flags on his denim jacket and shorts

Marc does his makeup, and he looks fabulous

His grandma teaches him how to fight in case of violent Christian protesters / Grandma: Sweetie, you’re Jewish and Bisexual, the world is gonna tear you apart. Learn how to give a mean left hook.

Once took over a face painting booth, now he does it every Pride Month

Enters the 'Crush a watermelon between your thighs' contest every time and always wins first

Saw couples cosplaying as Mightillustrator and Inverser, and cried tears of joy

He and Marc cosplay as couples at every pride parade. The fan favorites are Keith and Lance, Tweek and Craig, and Michael and Rich

CANNOT have too much sugar or he goes crazy and wakes up with no memories of what he did

The next day after an intense sugar high, people were saluting as he walked by and calling him ‘General of the Bisexual Battalion’ / He’s not complaining or questioning it / He has an army now and will one day take over all of Europe. Then the world.

Marc: The Rainbow Flag has Taken a Human Form🏳️‍🌈

Nonbinary- He/Him & They/Them

A True Pride Legend

Born on June 1st at a pride parade.

A singer helped deliver him, his cord was cut by a sword Lesbian, he was swaddled in a drag queen’s glitter cape, and their name was thought of by a drag king

This moment was so beautiful that many protesters cried and decided to join the parade

Everyone will literally stop what they’re doing just to get a picture with them / Everyone loves Marc!

Got into a splits contest and won

Makes flower crowns and knits rainbow flag scarves to pass out to everyone

Certified Mom Friend

Does everyone's makeup

Loses his shit when his shorter friends get lost in crowds

Hugs pride kids who were forced to sneak out or were kicked out of their homes then buys them ice cream / He and Nathaniel have adopted over fifty Pride kids who were kicked out of their homes

Joins Adrien in dressing like a Disney Princess. He SLAYED as Snow White

It may not seem like it, but Marc can throw a punch and fight with one hand right behind their back

Beat up a transphobic asshole for trying to “correct” a trans boy by forcing himself onto him. / They never did find the man’s body. In fact, all of his personal information was gone. Almost like he had never even existed... / Marc looks cute, but he can be terrifying when he needs to be

Alix: Two Out of 3 💚💜🖤🤍

She/Her & They/Them

Leaves many girls swooning as they skate by

Devious little shit

She doesn’t beat up protesters like her classmates. She pranks them until they cry / One year, they all ended up covered in rainbow glitter and pink feathers / Adrien and Rose help them make glitter bombs to throw at protesters, then they run away giggling

Wears sarcastic Pride shirts and black shorts with her roller skates

She and Jalil come out to their father every June

Alix: Father. I am AroAce! / Jalil: Also, I am gay! / Alim: Kids, I know. You’ve been doing this every year. / Jalil: Well... Thank you for being an ally!

This is the only time she’ll wear makeup / She wears it like war paint. Only it’s rainbow

Drinks the most juice out of everyone

Ships people with Alya. SHIPPING BUDS!

Myléne: Smol Asexual Bean ♠️

She/Her

Goes all out for Pride Month / Rolls around in glitter with Rose and Sabrina before every parade

Dyes her hair all rainbow / Wears a ‘Shakespeare was Here’ shirt with her asexual flag skirt

Has also beaten up homophobes and transphobes

Is the most vocal when it comes to putting those assholes in their place. Ivan has to hold her back sometimes

After an acephobe after they made certain comments (You ace folk know what I’m talkin ‘bout) She roundhouse kicked them / Every protester knows not to mess with the bohemian girl

Will blast The PROM soundtrack at max volume from her phone

Cosplays as musical characters. Veronica Sawyer was a fan favorite

Part of the “Where the Hell is Adrien?” Squad

Ivan: My Girlfriend is Stronger than Me, and it’s So Hot 💪😍

Prefers He/Him but is cool with other pronouns - Questioning his gender so isn’t using any labels right now

The responsible auncle

Mari and Alya’s partner in Pansexuality/ He can’t help if everyone is attractive, he just can’t!

Looks like he can kill you, but is actually a cinnamon role. Myléne on the other hand...

Has let Marc do their makeup and nails, and looks gorgeous!

Did drag. Slayed. Rocks those three-inch heels.

Tank tops and shorts club

Like Marinette, no one dares to flirt with him. Not because he’s out of their league, but because they’re scared of his girlfriend

Dyes his blonde tuft pastel pink every year

More pacifistic than her friends are when it comes to protesters, but if the right buttons are pressed, hell shall be raised

They join Alya and Alix in shipping random people

Rose: The Lovely Lipstick Lesbian💄

She/Her- Breaking lesbian stereotypes est. 2004

The kind aunt who supports all of her niblings

Has been going to pride with her dads since she was born/ One of her dads is a retired drag queen

Wears her rainbow fairy wings every year

Has a lesbian flag with dozens of girls' phone numbers written on it. / Doesn’t wear it anymore now that she has Juleka

Throws fistfuls of glitter at protesters and yells at them, “LIGHTEN UP!”

Sprinkles glitter on pride kids and tells them to sparkle

Marinette helps her make rainbow unicorn plushies to hand out to children every year

Dresses as Disney Princesses with Adrien and Marc. Princess Squad!

Bakes cookies to pass around

Drag Kings and Queens love this girl! She’s cute, loud, and carries glitter everywhere

Butch lesbians learn not to flirt with her after their encounter with Juleka

To piss of protesters, she dipped Juleka and kissed her for ten whole seconds / Rose: I bet your husbands don’t love you like that. / Drag Queens: BUUUUUURN!

Juleka: The Gay Witch 🖤🏳️‍🌈

She/Her & They/Them - Total lesbian

Was there when Marc was born, and will never forget that day. (She has an impressive memory, even as a baby)

They swore they saw a rainbow when he was born

Dresses as a witch and wears red eye contacts to every pride event so she freaks out protesters

Has actually cursed them / They just bought the spellbook off of Amazon

Carries around a rainbow parasol

Carries Rose under every threshold she comes across

Is a lot louder at pride events than on regular days

She actually sang Girls Like Girls up on stage, and everyone went wild

Sometimes wears suits

When they saw Rose being flirted with by some butch lesbians, they went ballistic / Now the butch lesbians are terrified of her forever

She and Luka help out with painting her friends’ nails and dying their hair

Dyes her hair rainbow every pride month

Luka: The Responsible Hot & Chaotic Auncle 💖💚💙

Agender- They/Them, He/Him, She/Her - Polysexual/Polyamorous

“For me, gender is like silence... I’m just not into it.”

Doesn’t really care what pronouns people use for him

Wears dresses to every pride parade. Anarka and Juleka have never been so proud

Is always doing drag cosplay. Marc and Nathaniel have never been so proud / They had people gawking when they did Jessica Rabbit cosplay

Purposely bends over in front of people, while wearing leggings, skirts, skinny jeans, or short shorts. Marinette, Kagami, and Adrien got nosebleeds

Marinette/Kagami/Adrien: Luka's ass in those shorts is a Godsend.

Dyes her hair rainbow every pride parade

The minute June starts, they’ll get up in the morning, grab their Polysexual flag, and just run around the city

Has been coming up with Pride songs to sing at protesters. Many of the songs insult them. / Luka: Okay! This one goes out to the trash behind barriers, it’s called, “Please shut the fuck up, you homophobic dildos!”

Got into a flexing contest and won second, but at the cost of their sequined sleeves

Asked Adrien, Marinette, and Kagami to be his significant others at a pride event. They all said yes

Has carried Adrien and Marinette on her biceps, and Kagami on her shoulders

Adrien: ... I marrying them first. / Marinette: Get in the back of the line, blonde wonder! / Kagami: Both of you move to the back.

Kagami: While You Were Busy Being Hetero, I Studied the Blade 🗡

She/Her - PanRomantic/Polyamorous

Surprisingly, her mother was very supportive. She even bought Kagami a rainbow sword / Turns out, Tamoe had a few flings herself. 😉

Kagami came out to the whole fencing team by wearing a pansexual-flag print fencing mask. Adrien squealed all through practice

She didn’t quite understand what polyamory meant and was confused as to why she had crushes on Adrien, Marinette, and Luka at the same time

After a bit of explaining and reassuring her that it was totally normal and not being disloyal to a partner, Kagami came to terms with being polyamorous

Tamoe allowed Kagami to go to her first Pride Parade. On the condition that she take her sword to ward off protesters

She was so overwhelmed and wasn’t entirely sure what to do until she found Marinette, Luka, and Adrien in the crowd with their friends

The four of them hung out together and got closer

Believes Adrien in pastels is one of the purest things on Earth

When Marinette and Luka entered the flexing contest, Kagami had to keep Adrien and herself from fainting

When Luka asked her, Marinette, and Adrien to be his significant others she tried to resist the urge to jump and squeal, but couldn’t hold it in

Likes it when Marinette wraps her trans flag around her. It’s so warm

Chased off a protester and TERF with her sword. They said some shit about Marinette being ‘fake’, Luka being ‘greedy’, and Adrien being a ‘pansy’, and she just snapped / While screaming in rapid Japanese, she chased about fifty protesters away. Her SOs were so proud.

Sabrina: The Ginger Gent 👑🏳️‍🌈

She/Her, He/Him in Drag- PanRomantic

Rolls around in glitter, as is a Drag tradition

Dresses in drag. / The Ginger Gent is her drag king name and she’s got like a glam rocker theme going on

Sequined leather jacket, coiffed toupee, glitter makeup

Started doing drag when she was twelve. Her dad supported her wholeheartedly and even entered her in junior drag contests. She took first place three times

Sometimes puts on private drag shows for Chloé. (Nothing weird!)

Marinette helps makes most of her costumes

Luka’s partner in Drag / Together, they kick ass and still look glamorous

A makeup expert (Next to Marc)

Roger taught her self defense / If you're going to Pride, learn to fight

Has taken down thirty protesters, his hair still looks awesome, and there's not a sequin out of place.

Chloé: The Badass Polysexual Demigirl 💖💚💙

She/Her and They/Them

Not really that attracted to guys

Best dressed. / Marc/Luka/Sabrina: She wishes!

Only allows Marc to do their makeup, no one else!

She has her own float in the parade / She passes out rainbow boas

Taking names and kicking butt

Has actually choked a protester with their flag and they don't do a thing about it since they're the mayor's child

Chloe: It pays to have political power. / Marinette: In this situation.

Doesn't tell people, but they came to Marinette, Nino, and Kim about gender stuff when they were questioning their identity

The day was spent teaching Chloe about the trans spectrum until she found the gender that felt right to her

Whenever Chloe gets excited, she makes out with the first girl she comes across. / Many young female protesters started questioning things when the blonde's lips grazed against theirs'

#miraculous ladybug #lgbt headcanons #everyone is gay #happy pride 🌈 #love is love #nathaniel x marc #rose x juleka #marinette x adrien x luka x kagami #kim x max #trans Kim #trans Nino #trans Marinette #brotp #lukadrinette #lukadrigaminette #lgbt pride #lgbtq #lesbian #gay #bisexual #transgender #pansexual #asexual #nonbinary #Aromantic #akuma class #polyamory

[gatoru]

valentine knows it all || matt murdock x reader

author's note: something small for valentine's day, that i combined with an old request! i like this universe and don't know if you'd like a part two or not. let me know. feedback is highly welcome!

pairing: matt murdock x avenger!reader

warnings/summary: you spend the beginning of valentine's day in jail, and matt murdock is there to save you. (swear words, meet cute, tiny bit of angst) +18 ONLY

wc: 900 ish

“May I have a moment with my client?” You heard a husky voice speak from the other side of the door – which made you adjust your posture. You were in serious trouble, and you knew that.

For a vigilante, going to jail was a matter of time. For an Avenger? It was out of the question.

It was 1:22pm. The digital clock on the wall showed you the pixels, forming the numbers in a bright red color. Your friends were either returning home from a Valentine’s Day date with their respective partners, or maybe dancing at a club, in a Galentine’s party. Either way, they were in a much better situation than you. So much for being born with powers.

You huffed to yourself, as you heard the door opening and closing with a barely audible click.

Nothing could’ve prepared you for the scene unraveling before your eyes. You expected one of Tony’s extremely exclusive lawyers, or perhaps even Nick Fury. The man, who you realized was your lawyer, was handsome – dark hair against fair skin, with red shades hiding his unfocused eyes. Truly a sight to see.

You were thankful that something was about to stop you from drowning in your own overthinking.

“You must be ____.” He states, as a matter of factly, as he sits on the chair before you. From just a meter away, across the table, he looks even better. How unfair, you think to yourself – a man who looks like he was sculpted by Gods and has a heart that’s good enough to defend your sorry ass in court.

“I’m Matt Murdock, your defense attorney.” He finishes, placing your file on the table.

“That much I figured.” You snickered, the words leaving your mouth in a nervous rush. You feel your cheeks heating up at your own attitude.

His only reaction, however, is to smile at you.

“I’m sorry, that was unasked for.” You apologize, and Matt senses you’re speaking the truth. “I’m just very… this is new to me.”

He knows you’re scared – scared to let people down, scared to hurt your teammates, your family.

You liked to operate with a color system in your life. You felt like you were currently at a red light, hoping that the light would turn green soon, however accepting your fate in purgatory for the time being.

“It’s alright, I understand. Listen, I’ll make sure this misunderstanding is cleared and that justice is made, okay?”

Something told you you could trust him. Perhaps it was his warm brown eyes, or the way he closely paid attention to your words. You had a lot to prove, and he was willing to defend you.

-

It's now 2:45pm.

“It seems like you’re free to go, Miss _____.” Matt states, proudly. He has a smile on his face as he holds the door open for you, setting you free. “You’re cleared.”

Yellow light.

A million things rushed through your mind as you stepped out of the room, walking towards the police station’s exit. First, Steve – who is your friend, but still, is your superior – would make sure you never hear the end of it. Tony would, most likely, crack a few jokes here and there, and also handle the P.R mess that would eventually come with this situation.

Almost as if your lawyer could hear your thoughts, he spoke:

“Don’t worry, I made sure everything is taken care of. And that the public’s favorite Avenger isn’t in too much of a mess.”

You smile, genuinely, for the first time that day.

You walk side by side, shoulder to shoulder in one of Hell’s Kitchen’s streets. Matt wonders, but doesn’t ask, about what happened in order for someone like you to end up in a place like that. In a party dress, nonetheless.

Maybe he couldn’t see, but he could hear how cold you were getting – how your teeth slowly grinded against each other, and how you clenched your arms closely. He questioned if it was too much, if it would be inappropriate for him to offer you his suit jacket.

“Why did you take my case?” You asked, out of the blue, as your words got lost in the air. The atmosphere was chill, yet thick. There was a lot to address and not enough time to do so.

“Uh, I suppose because I’m catholic. I have a soft spot for hopeless causes, you see.”

The thing is, Matt has heard about you. The Avenger’s newest addition – one of the youngest, and certainly one of the most rebellious out of the whole bunch. That’s the reason why you have a tendency to get in trouble, a lot.

You chuckle at his words, shaking your head.

That laugh is trouble, Matt thought to himself – he couldn’t wait to hear it again.

“Yeah, and how much is that gonna cost me?” You ask, only half joking. It’s Valentine’s Day, after all, you might as well take your time flirting with your handsome lawyer.

He smiles – green light.

“A cup of coffee?”

What a smooth motherfucker, you think. He’s good at taking you out of trouble, sure, but that silver tongue and those chocolate eyes were hard to resist.

“Deal.”

#matt murdock fanfic #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x you #matt murdock imagine

[10millionyearsdungeon]

Praesidium Pt II: Talionis

A/N: Sooo...Merry Crisis one and all. Secret Santas are supposed to be fun and tailored for the recipient, yeah? Here’s hoping they enjoy given how the first thing they said to me after reading part one was, “Where’s the rest of it?” Mafia AU continuation where the endgame changes slightly. Thanks again to @dymphnasprose for the lovely banner (the raging dumpster fire that is tumblr won’t let me load the gorgeous gif banner you made for me D:<!!!)and for keeping my ass on track and on time with this shit. You know how I feel about deadlines. 

TW: Non-Con, Kidnapping, implied drugging, sensory deprivation, gunplay, spitroasting, bondage, rope, fuck or die, forced cuckholding, coercion.

====================================================

The cabinet meeting adjourned per usual custom; the ministers in their bland, off the rack suits filed out of the chambers, their slow, humming chatter fading with every step taken out onto the polished marble. Shinsou straightened his tie and cast a wary eye to his phone, the vibrations buzzing through the laminated table like a hornet. Your number burned through the screen in starlight pixels-- it wasn’t like you to call him during a recess. Typically, you waited for him to call knowing just how arduous the arguments between old men could become when given a public forum. 

“Yes, love?” 

The familiar keening of your whimpering through his smartphone in reply sent a chill through him so cold it could only be described as hiemal. Almost frantically, your voice hitched and another breathy moan caught in your throat. Mangled pleas for release, for an end to the madness building in your core were punctuated by those same haggard cries. Shinsou froze at his desk in the auditorium, fixated on the harsh panting he knew was accompanied by the heaving of supple breasts and the telltale flush of your imminent end. He ached against his navy blue Dior suit pants, transfixed by the haunting song of tortuous pleasure you sang in his ear. Throat dry, Shinsou dropped his voice and tried again. “Kitten, I’ll be home shortly if you can keep edging for that long.”

“I’m sure you’ll find she’s about as far from home as she can get. Doubt the little princess can last much longer.” 

Shinsou held his breath and the dread found a new way to boil the acid in his stomach. Through gritted teeth, he growled under his breath as your wailing continued to soundtrack a less than touching moment between surrogate father and son. He could hear the smug smirk as the formidable Boss Aizawa continued to taunt you closer to the edge. 

"If you've hurt her--"

"Wouldn't dream of it. You're coming home, and not that over-indulgent highrise you've made your love nest in. Time is of the essence, Hitoshi." An unmistakable scream, your scream left him paralyzed as the line went dead. Though his mind raced, Shinsou had to will his feet to carry him through the maze of bureaucrats and journalists hindering him from his car. He knew the way to the compound without thinking. Muscle-memory had him weaving through city traffic to the outskirts of town, the memory of your scream a silent echo in his ears. 

He knew Boss Aizawa was capable of anything, and that knowledge had his blood run colder the closer he drove to his family's homestead. Yamada and his perpetual grin was nowhere to be found when Shinsou pulled in, a surprise for the political upstart. An empty house for an organization as large as his was never a good sign. He ran through the maze of hallways, each door the same heavy ebony and gold lacquer, until he found the one room he never dared enter even as a young orphan running the streets. The silence of the compound left his ragged breathing suspended in a palpable dread. Hitoshi drew up his courage, caught his breath, and rapped his trembling knuckles against the door. 

"Ah, the prodigal son." Boss Aizawa smirked and waved him in with an air of affability not unfamiliar to the young politician. Aizawa rested a hand along your hairline, gently running his fingers through your sweat-matted hair. Curled into his lap with heavy black cord caging your limbs in familiar lovers' knots and a bolt of black silk covering your eyes, you rested soundlessly as if unaware of the monster whose slacks you rested against. Shinsou slid into the room and closed the door behind him, the lump in his throat growing the longer his violet eyes traced the track of his surrogate father's fingers. "Couldn't stay away, could you?"

"Let her go. She has nothing to do with this." 

Aizawa chuckled darkly, running his wandering hand to trace the gentle slope of your back and waist. "You're right," he mused, rubbing the reddened globe of your ass. "Her involvement is inconsequential. Nothing more than a pretty, little obstacle, really." Shinsou was fixated on the tender way Boss Aizawa danced his fingertips along your skin and choked back bile and rage as the mafia head continued to calmly voice his proposal. His onyx eyes darkened and a cruel glare frosted over his rugged features. "You've grown overly comfortable with the freedoms I've so graciously allowed you to indulge in these past months, Hitoshi." 

Your brow furrowed slightly under the harsh grip on your thighs prying them apart to reveal the glistening secret between them. Shinsou chewed on his tongue, watching his mentor pull your lower lips apart with calloused fingertips. As much as he wanted to rip Aizawa's hands off of you, as hard as he tried to look away he knew it was a far better alternative than seeing your gray matter and bone splattered on the drywall behind him. 

"Enough. Let her go."

"If only it were so simple, Hitoshi." Aizawa curled your hair around his fingers and gave a rough pull, arching your neck painfully back as your mouth flew open in a choked cry. "What I don't think you understand is this…" His smug grin burned against your skin, his thick fingers slid inside your slick walls stretching you through your waking moments while your husband watched on, helpless to intervene. "...Everything you own is mine. Everything you've built and become is because of me-- I own you, Hitoshi." Each syllable dripping with thinly veiled irritation punctuated another curl of those blood-stained fingers up into your dripping maw. Still oversensitive from earlier abuses, you wailed as Aizawa forced you to spread yourself open onto his lap for your husband to observe in silent disgust. 

"It's simple, Hitoshi: you come back into the fold, and I'll let her go." Shinsou clenched his jaw and watched the gaping maw of your pussy accommodate his mentor's thick digits. Aizawa's free hand snaked its way around your pretty throat and gave an experimental squeeze, your gasping stirring his cock to life under your squirming core. "Refuse and she breathes her last." Stone-faced as ever, Shinsou watched impassively, his rage building in his chest like a war chant pounding a warning across the distance. The tighter Aizawa squeezed the angrier Shinsou became, all too happy to ignore the faint zip and sudden strangled moan pulled from your wanton lips as a foreign cock sheathed itself inside a stranglehold all your own. "Looks like you need more convincing," the dark-haired boss grunted. He rutted into your writhing body, pulling careless cries of frantic pleasure with a casual smirk.

Shinsou stepped closer, reaching out to put a stop to the madness, only to be stopped by the clicking of a hammer cocking from a discreet sidearm. He dropped his arm to his side and looked on at the familiar quiver in your thighs signaling the beginning of your many ends. 

"'Toshi, please," you whimpered, desperate to reach that peak. On closer inspection, he could see the dark outline of noise cancelling earbuds resting in the shells of your ears, no doubt playing something soothing and wordless to supplement the drugs dulling your senses. Just when he thought to silently thank his mentor for the small mercy Aizawa's thrusting intensified. The high, keening scream Shinsou took pride in coaxing was a stiletto to the heart when you sang it for another man under such duress. Your cream coated Aizawa's cock, adding another layer of traitorous lube to the act. As the boss ran his aquiline nose along the column of your neck, Shinsou traced the curve of your parted lips with his ultraviolet gaze. 

"I'm waiting, Hitoshi." Aizawa held the barrel to your temple and groaned at the full-body shiver that tore through your bound frame on his throbbing length. His finger rested on the trigger, each thrust bringing the reality of potentially losing you to a stray bullet in the midst of his mentor's passion sinking to the forefront of Shinsou's mind. Frozen, the politician swallowed hard and hung his head in defeat. It was one thing to insult him by kidnapping and fucking his wife, but dangling the prospect of losing you was an injury he doubt he could fully recover from. "Be a shame to ruin something so beautiful, but if this is how you demand to be taught, who am I to argue?" 

Another moan nearly sent both men over the edge, Aizawa's finger squeezing the trigger reflexively. Fear was a beast clawing through Shinsou's chest, moving through him to grab the gun and pant out in desperation. 

"Alright! I'll do it. Just let her go." 

Aizawa released his hold on the firearm and allowed it to slide barrel first into Shinsou's shaking hands. With both hands free to manipulate your body to his whims, Aizawa redoubled his efforts. For the first time since childhood, Shinsou saw true joy light his mentor's hardened features. He might have felt a twinge of relief if he wasn't balls deep inside his ignorant wife's dripping cunt. 

"Was that so hard? I'd say let's shake on it like men, but my hands are a little full at the moment." Aizawa shifted your weight forward, mouth hungry and open, waiting to be filled as saliva tracked down the corners of your lips. Shinsou hesitated, eyes flickering between your parted lips and Aizawa's empty black eyes. "Guess sharing your whore should suffice." 

As if it was all the permission needed, Shinsou dropped his designer trousers and buried himself to the hilt in your throat. He tossed the handgun aside and gripped your hair as he lost himself in the moist contractions as you gargled another aria of wanton moans. With every stroke Aizawa took to bruise into your twitching cervix Shinsou backed off to allow you the half-beat to breathe before abusing your gag reflex. Halfway through you began to realize something was amiss as you clawed against your husband's bare thighs. Shinsou yanked roughly on your hair and continued to bite back his disgust with the situation. He was supposed to be better than this; he swore he was done with Aizawa and his gang, that he was done being a thug at his mentor's beck and call. Your grip left angry trails of heartbreak along Shinsou's pale legs as your body betrayed you. 

The pace was brutal-- pounded rhythmlessly from behind, you felt pressure let off as thick, hot ropes painted along your back in viscous pearl. Head thrown back, Shinsou wasn't too far behind, his grip soon wrapping around your throat. With the fight fucked out of you long before reason sunk in, strength left your limbs leaving you limp between the two thugs. Growling out his release into your belly, Shinsou's grip softened and he lovingly rubbed soothing circles on your cheek with his thumb. Lost in the dark sensation of freefall, you succumbed to unconsciousness. 

Warm light and the smell of dark roast roused you from sleep. Tongue thick and body numbed from your rest, you stretched futilely back into your pillows. Shinsou sauntered in, unhurried as ever, with a steaming mug to greet you with an apologetic peck. 

"What's the occasion?" Your husband darted his gaze away with uncharacteristic sheepishness. "It's not like you to not send your assistant to fetch my coffee." 

"I wanted a more personal touch this morning, kitten."  

You hummed gratefully into the brew, soaking in its warmth and Shinsou's company with a smile. Your body ached curiously in muscle groups you forgot you had, sparking flashes of remembrance as he began packing an overnight bag for the two of you. "'Toshi…" you began. "I had the weirdest dream last night…" Your husband froze over his collared shirts and cufflinks as you mused over the morning paper. As he packed your counterfeit passports and offshore account information carefully between dinner jackets and evening gowns, you sighed in contented ignorance. Perhaps it was better you didn't find out how significantly the cost of living had increased overnight. 

Tags: @thewheezingwyvern

#bnha aizawa #bnha shinsou #bnha smut #bnha mafia #the smut pile server #reader x shinsou #shinsou x reader x aizawa #shinsou x reader x aizawa smut #tw: gun play #tw: non-con #tw: spitroast #tw: drugging #tw: kidnapping #tw: coercion #tw: fuck or die

[merryfortune]

Olive Branch

Written for the 100ships Challenge on Dreamwidth and as the Free Day Prompt for @ygotplusweek

100ships Challenge Prompt #63: Olive

YGOTPlus Prompt(s): Reunions, Negotiations, Favourite Things, Separate, Learning Something New

Ship: Rockdustshipping | Earth/Spectre/Ryoken

Fandom: Yu-Gi-Oh! VRAINS

Word Count: 2,423

Rating: T

Warnings: No Warnings Apply

Tags:  Post Canon, Canon Divergent, Self Indulgent, Minor or Implied Possessiveness, Developing Relationship, Eventual Polyamory

AN: this is my guilty pleasure ot3, I just want to have my two cakes and eat them too!!

   The current situation was rapidly beginning to unfold into scenarios that Ryoken had never wanted to entertain. He would not call it the worst case scenarios - unfortunately, things like armageddon had a rightful place in thoughts and calculations like those - but he was not going to be quick to call it ideal. He still had a few fingers that he could cross but already, his heart was beginning to break just from witnessing this scenario unfold in the flesh, blood, and some pixels too.

   Ideally, there would be zero Ignis but he knew Fujiki Yusaku, Playmaker, as one thing and one thing only: incredibly determined. Once his will was committed to something, it all but brought miracles forth so Ryoken accepted that a new era would likely unfold. Perhaps from the mistakes of the previous one, this second coming would be more hopeful. He had his own, after all.

   He wanted to commit to his redemption. His atonement. To himself and his own nature, not as a destroyer but a protector. He had wanted to protect the children of the Hanoi Project and now, he wanted to protect what little serenity and closure they had found, finally, ten years later.

   This, however, would test him, Ryoken knew, not instinctively but for more humanly reasons than that as well.

   Thanks to Playmaker and his own Ignis’s determination, they had managed to revive the five remaining Ignis. Some of those matches were easier to make than others. Returning Flame to Takeru would be safe and teary-eyed; returning Aqua to Miyu and Aoi would be joyful and misty-eyed; but then there were the others. Ryoken did not have stable predictions for what would happen were Lightning and Windy were to return to their respective Origins but, for better or worse, he did have eyes. He did not need to predict what would happen were Earth returned to Spectre for he could just watch such a thing happen.

   In fact, it was happening right now and it was already piercing Ryoken’s armour and cracking his heart.

   Ryoken had always known it would one day come to this. Or that it should have come to this, possibly even sooner than ten years. He had run the simulations as a child, to discover what was the link that kept breaking, and in them, he did discover that Earth was not the cause for what would eventually break. He never was. If anything, he fixed things. Drastically so, if only for one person: Spectre. His Spectre.

   Time and time again, running those simulations, Ryoken saw all the pathways in which Spectre and Earth would become remarkably good friends. Family. Partners. Whatever form their bond took, it was unbreakable and truly only brought the best in each other. A clean track of wins for both of them, in theory, at least. And it had incensed Ryoken.

   Spectre was his. Not Earth’s.

   Ryoken was Spectre’s first everything. First friend, first confidante, first person who had ever truly loved him. Spectre adored Ryoken and Ryoken matched that adoration as best as he could.

   But he saw the digital future. He saw how Earth would disrupt that. The Ignis had to be exterminated regardless. It would be best if Spectre knew, it would protect him. The truth would only ever hurt but Ryoken now suspected, he had been for a fair few months now, that Spectre had come to realise that the bond that he was meant to have with his Ignis would have been incredible. And Ryoken had destroyed that possibility in some vain, petty destruction that only served his own ego.

   Ryoken rationalised it as being a child. Volatile, short tempered, not properly fused or wired yet. But he still felt it. That streak of possessiveness that flared a mile wide as he watched Earth and Spectre meet for the first time. Or was it a reunion as they had always known each other, on some level that Ryoken couldn’t begin to understand because he hadn’t been the one experimented on and had life created from his brainwaves and duelling. A bond that could only be truly called soulful or psychic.

   A storm raged inside of him when he should have been happy for his beloved friend. Instead, he was in wrongful furor that Spectre might be able to become happy because of someone who was not him. It was a storm between right and wrong and Ryoken knew to part it not unlike the beam of a lighthouse and he knew which side to take, even if it did repulse him. He just couldn’t let himself get in the way of Spectre’s happiness as Spectre was, easily, his most important person.

   Spectre’s eyes were wide with the purest wonder that Ryoken didn’t even think he was capable of such an unguarded, vulnerable expression. In the corners of his eyes was the glistening on a single tear. He hazarded a feeble smile as he welcomed his Ignis back to the realm of the living with a shaking hand.

   Earth reached out to him and his demeanour could only be described as calm. The past half an hour was a whirlwind, even to Ryoken so he was surprised - and maybe even impressed - that Earth could be so stony face before Spectre who was coming close to blubbering with happiness with the events that had occurred. Once more, Pandora’s box had been open but this time, it had been Playmaker’s fingers on the lock and key.

   He had brought back the Ignis and returned them to a respectable vicinity of their Origins, forcing the data back through the Link VRAINS and getting it to rematerialise in the real world. Ryoken, a good programmer and coder in his own right, could only regard it as nothing short of magic.

   “It is good to see you.” Earth said. The sound of his voice was even but gladdened.

   He reached out to Spectre’s hand and though he was a large Ignis, he was still entirely dwarfed by the scale of a human. Both his hands clasped onto a couple of Spectre’s fingers and he was made to seem so small because of it. Nonetheless, he gallantly shook Spectre’s hands and that appeared to cleanse them of their nervous jitters.

   “It's good to meet you, Earth,” Spectre replied, a hiccup to his voice, “but it feels like I already know you.”

   Earth’s eyes softened, “I feel the same.” he confessed.

   Ryoken wanted to scream. To yell. To rage. To do anything but let this selfishness stew inside of him as he held onto the helmet of his VR set. They hadn’t even had the time to get up and stretch their legs before being thrust into this situation that Ryoken could only describe as the most impossible and unplanned future possible, hurtling forward at a pace of a few minutes at best.

   Spectre shyly glanced towards Ryoken, his heart beating quicker in his chest than it normally did. He could see the upset in Ryoken’s face but he was glad that Ryoken was here. He wanted Ryoken to be here for this quite dearly. He returned his gaze to Earth and it was apologetic.

   “Are you aware?” Spectre hesitantly asked Earth. “Of my activities as a Knight of Hanoi?”

   Earth was very quiet, his expression turned very stern and with glacial speed, he finally replied, “No…”

   “No?” Ryoken exclaimed. He was startled and he awkwardly took his interjection as an excuse to cross the vast chasm between his own perch on one side of the room and Spectre’s on the other.

   “Truly?” Spectre asked and he had to swallow a giggle.

   “Er… yes… truly.” Earth said. “My best recollection of events is as follows: us Ignis made a pact not to interact with the material world, including with our Origins, for a while, we lived in the best harmony we could muster…

   “One day, a dragon destroyed the Cyberse World, we were protected by Ai who did his best to flee from this dragon… When Ai released us, Windy and Lightning withdrew. I believe now to put in place their own machinations that resulted in this Bohman figure being created.

   “I only desired to find Aqua, she was taken before I could make my decision. A decision that has now been taken from me as I have now been thrust before you… But I wanted to base my decision on logic and sound information. I needed to know more about the humans but unlike my duplicitous kin, even Aqua to an extent, I endeavoured to honour my vow so I never sought you out.

   “So, now I have to ask, what were your activities as a Knight of Hanoi? It sounds noble so I desire to tentatively approve.” Earth looked up very cautiously at Spectre, and even towards Ryoken, as he finished his ramble.

   Ryoken could not believe what he was hearing. He couldn’t decide if this was extremely lucky or extremely unlucky. How ironic that such a perceptive and observant person such as Spectre produced such an oblivious Ignis, even if Earth was right to conclude that he needed to proceed with information rather than instinct or some other whim, no matter how fond. He supposed that it would be up to Spectre to decide the worth of the fortune before them.

   And Spectre seemed very quick to make that decision, he took a breath then explained, “Master Ryoken is the dragon who destroyed your first home. We, the Knights of Hanoi, have been hunting you for the past five, almost six, years, trying to destroy.”

   Earth’s blue eyes went wide. This was certainly news to him - and Ryoken did find himself relishing that.

   “Is that true?” he asked, turning to Ryoken. “You are the good doctor’s son, are you not? The son of the man who created us Ignis, I - I have vague memories of your face as a child, seeing you from within the apparatus I was created within. Is that true?”

   “In its entirety.” Ryoken gravely replied, folding his arms.

   “M-My…” Earth murmured.

   “You understand why three of your companions were so eager to take up arms against us humans now, don’t you?” Ryoken said and he felt some snake of vindication inside of him, that Earth may flee from them and all would be right with what was left of Ryoken’s little world.

   And yet, Earth steadied, “I do,” he admitted, “but Spectre spoke in past tense just now, I noticed. He said “for five, almost six years”, that would imply the activity has ceased, albeit recently.”

   “Correct.” Ryoken growled. “We desire to protect the Link VRAINS, to do what we can with technology that once brought misery, to bring joy. To keep the Incident concealed so the victims can enjoy privacy.” Ryoken then took a sharp breath. “To even allow the behaving Ignis some space in this world, you were created to enrich humanity but per my observations, I believe it is only possible for you lot to touch a handful of lives at best. Though it pains me, I would appreciate it if you were able to do so with Spectre.”

   Now it was Spectre’s turn to be in disbelief of his own ears. His face paled but purely because he was stunned to hear such words from Ryoken’s mouth. He thought it was going to take hours upon hours of convincing him, grovelling all but on his knees, to allow Earth to stay with them. Ryoken had always been brusque upon the subject of Spectre’s unique Ignis at the best of times and at the worst, Spectre recoiled to remember what was said implicitly and explicitly about Earth’s death from Ryoken.

   Earth’s expression lightened and a peculiar thing happened. A thin branch manifested in his hands. It was thin and wiry, delicate, plumed with rounded leaves with a few bounties blooming off the stem. Earth held onto it preciously. Spectre recognised the branch by its leaves; Ryoken recognised it by its boon. A literal olive branch and it was one that Earth chose to gift to Ryoken.

   “It is my understanding that the olive branch is a symbol of surrender and compromise to humans, that to give one to another means to cease an argument or war.” Earth rambled.

   “Yes, that is correct.” Spectre assured him.

   “Then my intentions should be apparent but if not, if I have muddled them somehow, I wish to live long and well alongside you and Spectre.” Earth said. “I value peace over all else, to the point of uselessness, perhaps, but that is who I am.”

   Ryoken’s gaze wandered towards Spectre. He looked so… hopeful. It was bright and bittersweet, as such he was holding his tongue. Ryoken took a breath and he accepted Earth’s gift.

   “I believe I can find those values complementary to my own.” Ryoken replied.

   There likely wasn’t a response that could have overjoyed Spectre more. He got to his feet, untangling from the VR set, and embraced Ryoken. Ryoken stiffened but he pat Spectre’s shoulder before finally hugging him back. Earth, meanwhile, settled on Spectre’s head.

   He looked down on them both rather curiously, like he was still quantifying the various rituals of humans even though hugging was not something alien to him as an Ignis. It was more the metrics of these two and their particular relationship, perhaps even how he would figure into their equation.

   If so, Ryoken felt the same.

   He still very much, at his best and kindest, wanted to fling Earth far, far away from his domain, keep him alive just with other arrangements for a home, perhaps with Aqua and either of her girls or even with Ai and Yusaku. Instead, Ryoken swallowed that one-sided resentment that he had stoked since he was a child, trying to understand the intertwining paths of Spectre and his Ignis and instead, endeavoured to make peace with this Ignis. For Spectre’s sake. He would merely have to believe that Spectre whose heart seemingly only had enough space to love and adore just one could have enough room for two.

   After all, at the end of the day and at the end of time, all Ryoken wanted was to make Spectre happy and it had been proven to him, time and time again, there should be no better way than to let him have his Ignis. So, perhaps, he could come to tolerate - maybe even become fond - for the socially awkward little creature, too. If only for Spectre.

#yugioh polyship week #yugioh polyship week 2020 #yugioh vrains #vrains #yugioh #ryoken kogami #spectre (vrains) #earth (vrains) #respectfulshipping #motherearthshipping #writing tag #100ships challenge #aaaaa i always feel bad for enjoying this ship since its so niche

[hpfluff-fest]

HP Fluff Fest Masterlist

We would like to thank everybody who has made this fest such a success, whether as a prompter, creator, or reader! Both of us hope the featured fics and art have brought you happiness and warm fuzzy feelings. Now, without further ado, may we proudly present the HP Fluff Fest 2020 Masterlist. 

Albus Severus Potter/Scorpius Malfoy

ART

🌻god, you're beautiful by lov-lyness || @lov-lyness, Traditional Art (G)

Scorpius and Albus are by a lake, Scorpius's soulmark is showing.

FIC

🌻Sticky Love by motherofmercury || @motherofmercury, 1.3k, (G)

Scorpius always leaves encouraging notes and reminders around their flat for Albus to find.  Albus realises he's a messy person to live with.  Cleaning and the discovery of Albus' romantic side ensues.

 Bartemius Crouch Jr./Harry Potter FIC 

🌻Coming Home Late by Firebull || @swampwitchkaterina, 525 words (G)

It had become a bit of a routine to them.

 Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter

ART

🌻K is for Kiss by Pinkelephant42 || @pinkelephant42, Digital Art (G)

Harry escapes the spotlight to teach young magical kids. Draco is charmed by his son's new teacher.

🌻Moving in together - shopping for laughs. by digthewriter || @digtheshipper, Digital Art (G)

Trying out mattresses w/ your partner leads to giggles in the furniture showroom. 

🌻The Case for Borrowed Underwear and Morning-After Pancakes by toutcequonveut || @cequonveut, Digital Art (Comic) (T)

Harry and Draco have just Done the Deed™️ for the first time. After a truly fantastic night, Harry wakes up alone in bed and wonders where Draco has wandered off to..

FIC

🌻Age is just a number by gnarf || @gnarf, 1.5k (T)

Married for decades, their life is perfect. Until Harry gets a call and hears the following words: "Mr Potter, we caught your husband stealing ten large packs of King Sized condoms."

🌻And They Say Romance is Dead by static_abyss || @static-abyss, 9.7k (E)

Harry is in love with Draco Malfoy. This is, quite possible, the worst thing that could have ever happened to him. Not because he doesn't want to love Draco but because now that Harry knows, he doesn't know how he's supposed to tell him.

Or, five times Harry tried to tell Draco he loved him and one time he succeeded.

🌻Chasing Coffee by Yesimawriter || @foularcadebanana, 5.6k (T)

Harry's service dog, Coffee, is obsessed with a certain Slytherin prat, and Harry cannot figure out why. It can't be because Harry wants to spend more time with him, right?

🌻darling, your kisses are sweeter than honey by unicorninthelibrary || @unicorn-in-the-library, 1k (T)

No matter how many years have passed, waking up next to Draco is Harry’s favorite thing in life. 

  🌻Dear (For Want of a Better Idea) Diary by tigersilver || @stripedsilverfeline, 12.3k (M)

Draco likes his life; there’s not much not to like. He’s got himself a family of rescued kneazles and nosy Weasleys plus two fun jobs to keep him busy, which is more than he ever expected, post-Voldemort.  But he’ll have a bash at keeping a journal, just as his boss George suggested. Who knows? It might even help him sort out what’s up with Potter, right? 

  🌻Disastrously Perfect by savant (teii) || @teii, 8.3k (T) 

Neville figured that whatever was going on between Harry and Draco, he could quietly keep out of the way and observe from a safe distance. Luna, however, has other plans.

🌻 Duck And Cover by Drarrymadhatter || @drarrymadhatterstuff, k (T)

Draco is struggling with eighth year, until he’s forced to adopt a flock of ducklings. Harry, convinced his old nemesis is up to his old tricks, decided to find out what he’s up to. When he discovers his fluffy secret, he decides to have some fun with it. However, along the way, he starts to realise how much Malfoy has changed.

  🌻Ferret Support Services by CoCo (cportera) || @cportera, 4k (G)

Harry discovers a ferret while hiding away from his friends. He adopts the furry animal telling him secrets, never knowing the ferret might have secrets of his own.

🌻If This is Happiness, I Don't Mind Having This by Orpheous87, 6.2k (G)

Eighth Year isn't going too well for Draco. He's isolated and ignored by his classmates. Then he stumbles across a flock of tiny ducklings that need a helping hand. What Draco doesn't expect is someone to offer him a helping hand.

🌻I Knew I Loved You Before I Met You by Ladderofyears || @clemandben, 20.7k (E)

All Draco ever wanted was to carry his beloved husband's baby. It had been a journey of years, of tearful nights and smiling while he was breaking inside. It was finally happening though. They've tried for so long. They're having a child.

  🌻Just Like Potions by vivi1138 || @penguinanimagus, 2.3k (E)

Kreacher is on holidays. Draco thinks he can cook because he's so good at Potions. Hint: he can't.

  🌻Let Your Heart Hold Fast by MoonlitMarauder || @moonlitmaruader, 7.1k (E)

After three years together you'd think Harry would have learned to let Draco keep his secrets, but Draco is up to something. He just knows it. Or  That time when Ron had to give Harry advice on his love life.

🌻Love In Ikea by kai_blxck || @im-kaifused, 30.6k (T)

In all the trips Harry had made to Ikea, Harry never expected to bump into the love of his life? 

Draco never thought Wizards could exist but here he is, falling in love with one. 

  🌻Misunderstandings are as easy as A-B-C by VeelaWings || @veelawings, 3.4k (T)

A slow blink and Potter seemed to catch himself, clearing his throat and nodding, his smile friendly and bright when directed at Scorpius and Draco. “Hey Mal—”

“Mr Potter,” Draco spoke up rudely, but necessary. “This is my son, Scorpius Black. He’ll be one of your students this year.” 

Potter looked completely wrongfooted for a few seconds before his mind appeared to latch onto the most likely conclusion. His expression cleared up as Scorpius took a step forward and offered a tiny hand. 

“Hello, Mr Potter. It’s nice to meet you,” Scorpius said, enunciation steady and practiced.

  🌻Seeking: pet carer for Bartholomew (four-year old rescue greyhound, no special needs)  by GallifreyisBurning || @gallifrey1sburning, 14.7k (E)

When Draco’s boyfriend ends their relationship rather abruptly (and, frankly, extremely rudely), he leaves Draco with full-time responsibility for their rescue greyhound, Bartholomew. Draco loves his dog with all his heart, but the long hours he works at his law firm mean that he can’t possibly be home as much as Bartholomew needs. Enter Sirius Pet Care, an app designed to solve this very problem! When Draco books Harry, he’s relieved at how quickly the man and his dog bond. He’s less relieved by how unexpectedly, distractingly attractive Harry turns out to be… and how Draco’s afternoon meetings keep being “mysteriously” cancelled, meaning that he JUST HAPPENS to be home when Harry comes by. After all, it’s not appropriate to ogle one’s employees… right?

  🌻sign me up for that full-time by M0stlyVoid || @bonesliketambourines, 4k (T)

Harry should have learned by now to never trust anything the Weasley twins try to pass off as a thoughtful holiday gift, no matter how innocuous it might appear.

🌻Soft & Hard by DragonGirl87 || @drgngrl87​, 8k (T)

In which Draco is forced to grudgingly admit that Harry does have some taste and Harry learns more about mattresses than any sane person should ever know.

🌻Some Assembly Required by peachpety || @peachpety, 6.5k (E)

A relationship must occasionally endure a test of strength, be it confronting an ex, or meeting the inlaws. Sometimes, however, an inanimate object can make or break a couple. Harry and Draco's relationship is put to the test when they attempt to assemble a piece of IKEA furniture.

🌻They were Once Young by acupforslytherin || @acupforslytherin, 6.4k (T)

Draco nervously expected for the worst when Harry invited him to Godric’s Hollow for the summer holidays. Little did he know, he was in for a delightful French dinner, two generations of embarrassing Potters, and a fascinating story of how Harry’s parents got together.

  🌻Too Many Legs by vivi1138 || @penguinanimagus, 4.4k (T)

Draco is thrilled when his son produces a powerful bout of accidental magic. But unlike most children his age, Scorpius doesn't stop there, and soon Draco is overwhelmed. Harry just finds it funny. 

  🌻Too precious to share by slowroad || @slowroad, 1.6k (M)

Harry and Draco are several months into their eighth year at Hogwarts. They've been in a relationship for a while now, but no one knows about them yet and they like it that way.

🌻Whiskers and Kisses by MotherBooker || @motherbookerao3​, 1.5k (G)

When rabbits trust and care about a person, they can be very loving and affectionate creatures.

  🌻With a Bite and A Hiss (and Some Curry On Top) by Zandra Gorin || @zandragorin, 4.7k (T)

Draco keeps bringing animals home and keeps cooking curry for Harry. Harry is of the opinion that it has got to stop. Well, not the cooking curry part.  

Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter/Neville Longbottom ART

🌻Home is where the Bloody Plants are by Thunder_of_Dragons || @thunder-of-dragons, Digital Animated Pixel Art (G)

When Harry invited Neville and Draco to move into Grimmauld Place with him, his one condition was that they help him remove all of the old Pureblood artefacts. Draco was more than happy to agree, but he's determined not to let their drawing room become overrun by Neville's plants.

 Draco Malfoy/Hermione Granger

FIC 

🌻Crookshanks and the Worst Weekend by Aneiria || @aneiria-writes, 2.1k (T)

In which Crookshanks' perfect weekend is ruined by the arrival of a tiny, annoying, infuriating kneazle kitten who follows him home, and the wizard who comes looking for it.

🌻Stranded Apart by In_Dreams || @indreamsink, 10.5k (T)

Lost in the wilderness without their wands, Hermione and Draco will need to learn to work together if they want to make it out in one piece.

🌻The Art of Seating Etiquette by inadaze22 || @inadaze22, 9.7k (E)

Hermione believes that every problem has a solution, and that solution can be found in a book. That is, until Draco starts sitting to her right every Friday. She has no answers until help comes in the form of an unlikely source: Ron Weasley.

🌻The Heart of Healing by niffizzle || @niffizzle, 5.1k (T)

Spending her Saturday volunteering at St. Mungo's was Hermione Granger’s favourite part of the week. Nothing would ruin that, not even Draco Malfoy showing up to complete his community service hours.

🌻The Importance of Being Honest  by floorcoaster || @floorcoaster, 9k (T)

In the pursuit of the truth, sometimes nature lends a hand.

 Draco Malfoy/Neville Longbottom

ART

🌻A Tattoo to Match by Pinkelephant42 || @pinkelephant42, Digital Art (G)

Tattoo Artist Draco Malfoy and Florist Neville Longbottom work next to each other, flirt a lot, and get matching tattoos.

 Dudley Dursley/Gregory Goyle FIC 

🌻Stranger in the bakery by toutcequonveut || @cequonveut, 3.6k (M) 

The people of the town are confused. Dudley is confused, but then he isn't. Greg is confused, but he's in love and that's more important. Harry is very confused, but just goes with it.

Or: a glimpse into the morning after Dudley and Greg's first time, featuring bakery buns and other buns

 Gen 

FIC

🌻it seems to come down to us by porcelainsalt (bluedreaming) || @porcelainsalt, 1.1k (G)

Minerva takes matters into her own hands.

Ginny Weasley/Luna Lovegood

FIC 

🌻Bluebells and Asters by goldenzingy46 || @goldenzingy46, 826 (G)

Luna braids Ginny's hair. Ginny complains about boys. Softness (and a little kissing) ensues.

🌻Morning Eggs by PhenomenalAsterisk || @phenomenalasterisk, 842 words (G)

Luna began her mornings with tea. Ginny began her mornings with Luna. With the first stirrings of consciousness, Ginny found herself snuggling into her beloved — Luna’s neck, her hair, her belly, wherever Ginny could reach, really, was free game for the morning ritual. Ginny would cling like a barnacle to Luna until she was lucid enough to function on her own.

🌻Sleepy Smiles by PhenomenalAsterisk || @phenomenalasterisk, 554 (G)

Luna’s eyes are still shut, though the corners of her thin lips are just barely quirked into a smile. “You missed the movie, love.” Ginny says quietly, pressing her lips against her hair in a brief kiss. 

Luna tucks her head further into Ginny’s neck and murmurs back, “I woke up for the best part.” Ginny smiles. It’s not unusual for Luna to enjoy her wife’s strength, in the bedroom and otherwise, though she has never asked for something as indulgent as being carried to bed. 

OR Ginny carries Luna to bed. Soft, sweet, and short bit of domestic fluff.

Ginny Weasley/Pansy Parkinson

FIC 

🌻get off on whiplash by cjmasim || @lesbianlilyevans​, 6k (T)

THE QUIBBLER'S 5TH ANNUAL HOLIDAY DRAWING

TWO LUCKY ENTRANTS WILL WIN AN ALL-EXPENSES-PAID WEEK-LONG TRIP TO PORTOFINO, ITALY

TO ENTER, RETURN THE FORM BELOW VIA OWL NO LATER THAN APRIL 17, 2004

Ginny manages to convince herself that entering the drawing was nothing other than a way to help a friend out by getting the numbers for The Quibbler's entries higher.

Naturally, she wins the drawing. 

 Harry Potter/Severus Snape

FIC 

🌻How to See Without a Camera by RoonilWazlibMalfoy  || @evenmyzefronposter, 11.7k (E)

Having returned to Hogwarts after his training to take over for Madam Pomfrey, Harry was just happy to be back home. He didn't even mind it when he realized he'd have to work closely with Severus Snape.  One Kiss Cam incident at a Quidditch Match, however, left him wondering just how close he could get to the man. 

🌻Quite The Perfect Sunday by HogwartsToAlexandria || @dwell-on-dreams​, 751 words (E)

Spending all day in bed, every Sunday they could, had been on of Harry and Severus's traditions almost from the start. It was a moment just for them, which they cherished and made the most of every time.

Hermione Granger/Luna Lovegood

ART 

🌻Picking Daisies by dragontamerdrarry || @dragontamerdame, Digital Art (G)

Luna Lovegood has a terrace garden filled with Xenophilius Lovegood approved yellow flowers. Today, Luna’s picked some yellow daisies and is enjoying spending some quality time with her girlfriend (who has her nose buried in the hottest new Magizoology text in town!)

Hermione Granger/Narcissa Malfoy

FIC 🌻Life Is Good by Houseofmalfoy || @malfoylestrange​, 1.2k (G)

Narcissa surprises herself with the number of times she thinks that little sentence, surprises herself with how genuinely happy she is with the way her life turned out, even if she’s no longer surprised at all by the person who gave it to her.

She’s happy.  

Hermione Granger/Pansy Parkinson

FIC

🌻A Million Worlds Apart by SiriuslyThatBitch || @siriuslythatbitch, 13.6k (E)

After spending the bulk of her childhood fighting a dark wizard, Hermione was looking forward to a relaxing year. Too bad fate always has something else planned, including ancient spells, sarcastic roommates, and a suffocating amount of sexual tension.

🌻Exodus by cdav || @cdav, 6.6k (T)

After the war, Hermione finds herself drawn to Pansy Parkinson for reasons she can't quite explain. Parkinson is adamant that they won't work out. Hermione's determined to prove otherwise.

Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley

FIC

🌻The Perfect Moment by DameinToyland || @dameintoyland, 1.8k (G)

Hermione gets home late from work and witnesses story time with Ron and the kids. Ron is nostalgic, Hugo is excited, and Rose isn’t having any of it.

  James Sirius Potter/Teddy Lupin

FIC

🌻The Waiting (Is The Hardest Part) by Ladderofyears || @clemandben, 1.1k (E)

Teddy is waiting to give Jamie a performance.

Remus Lupin/Sirius Black

FIC

🌻A Purrfect Match by captainegg || @im-captain-egg, 1.7k (G)

When Remus walked into the shelter that day, he expected to leave with a new furry companion and not meet the love of his life.

🌻Here comes the sun by PollyDarton || @polly-darton, 5.5k (M)

Honestly, screw the sun. For all I care the world revolves around you.

  🌻Moonlit Reflections by MoonCat457 || @mooncat457writing, 6.4k (T) 

Sirius has been pining for Remus for far too long and James is sick of it. So, when it’s James’ turn to go on a late-night scouting mission with Remus on the grounds to work on the Marauder’s Map, he sends Sirius instead with instructions to finally just admit his feelings.

#hp fests #hp fluff fest #masterlist #hp fanart #hp fanfic

[saijspellhart]

Yet another Deathshipping drabble. It’s from the “Works for Kaiba” AU. I need to think of a proper name for it... Ryou is playing with Kaiba’s simulation room today.

The mop made a slooshy noise in the cavernous empty simulation room.

Well, intermittently empty.

Yami Marik watched as a half formed Mai Valentine appeared in the room. Part of her face was all pixelly, and she was missing her body from the waist down, aside from a pair of boots. Her upper body simply floated over the boots, like some demented buxom blonde poltergeist.

He’d been doing his best to try ignore the distraction, and finish mopping the simulation room. But the holograms kept approaching him whenever they were summoned. He had a suspicion that the one responsible for them was getting a kick out of it.

Marik pushed the mop head over her disembodied boots, a half-hearted attempt to clean them off the floor. But the mop went right through them, only managing to disrupt the image into a mess of pixels, before it reformed again.

A second later the unfinished Mai hologram disappeared. And a minute later a Joey hologram appeared.

This hologram was much more finished. He greeted the Yami in a familiar and grating Brooklyn accent, all the while sporting the cockiest most annoying grin.

Marik tried in earnest to mop this one away. Scrubbing furiously at Holo-Joey’s shoes.

“Oh, this one includes a ‘dog’ setting,” Ryou Bakura’s voice called down over the intercom. He was in the control room, playing with the settings of the simulation room while Seto Kaiba was busy running his company. Marik had warned him not to play with the simulations. But Ryou insisted that he needed to, “for science.”

The Holo-Joey became a wash of pixels, and reformed wearing a tan-and-brown dog costume.

“Ya gonna duel, or you gonna drool?” Dog-Joey pumped his fist uncomfortably close to Marik’s nose before striking a pose.

Marik shoved the mop through his face.

“Not surprising that Kaiba has a hologram of the Pharaoh. Let’s see how finished this one is.”

Much to his relief, the annoying blonde dissipated, but it was just as quickly replaced by a hologram of Atem.

Pixels rolled down, making a 3D digital reconstruction of the Pharaoh. Marik watched the righteous bastard himself strut out of thin air, looking just as pompous and conceited as he remembered.

“Why’s he so built?” Marik called up, knowing his voice could be heard in the control room.

“Built?”

“Ripped,” Marik clarified, his voice sounding wry. He poked the handle of the mop at one of Atem’s biceps.

“I dunno...” Ryou trailed off, sounding distracted. “There’s a setting for bondage...?”

“What would that have to do with Duel Monsters—Wait! Don’t!!”

But it was too late. Marik watched as a new wave of darker pixels rolled down the Pharaoh’s hologram, leaving an outfit change in its wake. His lips curled at the sight before him.

Atem was on his knees now. Staring up at the room’s sole occupant. His arms were secured behind his back by leather straps. And he was wearing a leather vest composed of various belts that spanned the width of his chest. He still wore the black choker, as well as the familiar leather pants. But now there was a long thin leather cord hanging from the choker.

“No. Fucking. Way.” Marik didn’t know whether to laugh hysterically or start gagging.

“So we’re playing this game today?” Atem’s synthetic voiced purred at the Yami before him. “You never could beat me in Duel Monsters.” A cocky sneer pulled at his holographic mouth. “Not without some measure of manipulation...”

He decided to gag. “So this is what the fucking bastard does in this room every afternoon!” Marik shook his mop at the suggestive simulation, all the while snarling at the tinted windows of the control room where he knew Ryou was sitting behind the panel. “The fucking mess! Everyday! Everyday!!”

“What are you waiting for Kaiba? Make your move.”

Lavender eyes snapped back to the Pharaoh, and he curled his lip again. “I am not Kaiba.”

“I don’t think he’s programmed to address anyone else,” Ryou said, sounding more than a little disturbed.

“Not Kaiba you say...” Atem’s eyelids dropped into a knowing look. “We can role play if you wish.”

Marik took a swing, with enough force to decapitate a man. The mop head passed harmlessly through Holo-Atem’s head.

“Get rid of it!” He swung again, this time smashing the mop over Atem’s head, and watching it pass uselessly and strike the floor. “Now! Right Now!” The sound of wood splintering punctuated his demand.

Furious button mashing could be heard over the intercom.

A second later, Holo-bondage-slave-pharoah-Atem blinked out of existence.

“I th-think I’m done testing out the simulations today,” Ryou’s voice stuttered sheepishly.

Marik gripped what was left of the splintered wooden handle. And stared at the soggy broken mop head on the floor. A vein on his forehead had dilated, as well as the one on his neck, and his ragged breaths puffed as he fought to regain his composure.

“This is the fourth mop I’ve broken since starting...”

~0000~

Check out my blog for more drabbles from this AU.

#deathshipping #ryou bakura #Yami Marik #Yami malik #yugioh #yugioh duel monsters #ygo dm #they both work for kaiba #they’re office buddies #an au where they both work for kaiba #post dark side of the dimensions #yami marik ishtar #drabble #saijspellhart writes #fanfic #fanfiction

[sabraeal]

Hypewired Unsolved Drinking Game, Rule #2: Shirayuki Despairs Over Obi’s Life Choices

Rule #1

Written for @ruleofexception on the occasion of her BIRTH. I thought this would be more ghost hunting and less metrics, but I should have known I couldn’t resist a premise-building chapter.

[Shirayuki] Have you ever heard of the Gardner Museum Heist?

[Obi] Oohhh.

[Shirayuki] *laughs* What was that?

[Obi] Oh, nothing, nothing. It’s just... I love heists.

[Shirayuki] You love heists? *laughs* No, I take it back, that doesn’t surprise me at all.

[Obi] *laughs* Come on, who doesn’t love a good heist?

[Shirayuki] This one *is* known as the biggest art heist of its kind.

[Obi] Oh ho ho ho. You’re saying all the right things to me.

The thing about haunted houses-- the real kind, not the ones that hire teenagers to wear stage make up and hold fake chainsaws-- is that they’re hard to book.

“Oh, in my hometown, they hired ex-convicts,” Obi says in the same casual way he says anything vaguely terrifying about his childhood, “and they gave them real, working chainsaws.”

Her jaw drops, face still plastered to her phone’s screen. Soft jazz worms into her ear. “That can’t be true. That has to be a-- a rumor or something.”

“Nah, nah, the farm had a work program with the local prison. I think sometimes they did seasonal work too?” He shrugs. “I don’t know. But it definitely made the hayride more popular. Gave it a real element of danger, you know?”

Shirayuki stares. “And they gave them real chainsaws?”

“Well, they only revved them a little.” He twitches his shoulder, as much of a shrug as he ever gives. “One time a guy hopped on the cart and chopped the bale next to me, but I mean, I probably deserved that.”

She might be sitting down, but oh, she could really do to sit down again. Harder. Mentally. Emotionally. “And you’re sure these were ex-convicts?”

“Yeah, probably.” Not an endorsement ringing with confidence. “I mean, I’m sure they were in for non-violent crimes, at least.”

There are two wolves inside of her, and one of them is pleased to hear about a local business working to place disadvantaged community members, and the other-- well, the other thinks that maybe everyone should be a little more solid on the whole non-violent convictions than they are.

Before she has the chance to suggest it, the phone clicks, and a pleasant female voice says, “Hill House, Donna speaking, how may I help you?”

“Oh, hi, yes,” she fumbles, “I’m Shirayuki calling from Hypewire. We would like to talk about booking your location.”

“Hypewire?” Donna pauses, the good long kind that means she’s probably from a generation that prefers to read its news on paper, and not from a website that has an option to react with emojis. “Oh, did you want to do an article on the house?”

“Ah, something like that.” Obi arches a brow, lips twitching as he crams another Funyon between them. He’s far too distracting to have around while she needs to have thinky thoughts, especially if he’s going to make faces at her. “I’m the producer of Hyperwire Unsolved, and we were wondering if we could possibly do a, ah--” she coughs-- “an investigation? Of the house? For the show?”

“Oh, Hypewire Unsolved!” The woman laughs. “My nephew loves you guys. But don’t you do true crime?”

[Sender]: [email protected] [Recipients]: [email protected] [Subject]: Re: Episode Filming

Thank you for your interest in our venue for an episode. Some of our interns are big fans of your show! However, we have to admit some confusion, as we were under the impression you were a true crime show…

“How’d they get that impression?” Higata grunts, hunching further over his keyboard. His screen in the only light in the editing bay, castling a ghastly glow over his face. “The art department just sent me six different aliens to pick from for the Roswell episode, and now we’re Serial? Come on.”

Shirayuki sighs. “I know. But it seems our more popular episodes are the ones about collar bombers and serial murderers. At least by the metrics”

Higata might only be twenty-six, but he’d be right at home at the VA buffet with the way he grumbles. “You know His Highness over there was talking to me about making true crime and supernatural separate seasons. Something about...keeping views and organizational groups or something.”

“Huh.” She sits back, nibbling on her lip. “It would certainly give me more of a focus each season. What do you think?”

“I guess it’s fine. Two editing credits for my resume for one show’s work is a good deal.” He overlays a shadowy police sketch into the video, shoulders rounded and tense. “What do I know? I just sit in the dark and pick which ghostly visage I want to layer over your audio.”

She leans in with her sunniest smile, squeezing his arm right above the elbow. “And you’re so good at it!”

“I am.” He’s too much of a professional to look away from his work, shifting the same image three pixels over and then three pixels back, but his bicep relaxes beneath her grip. “I am a top tier spooky face picker. All the commenters say so.”

She blinks. “Oh? They do?”

Higata twists in his seat, gaze somehow even more incredulous in the lack of light. “No, Shirayuki, they don’t. But they should.” He gestures to the screen vaguely. “They mostly just talk about how much they want to fuck Obi.”

“OH.” There’s some information she really, really didn’t need. “That’s um, ah--”

“Your job, according to roughly half our fan base.” His mouth hooks into a grin she does not enjoy. “What do you say, Lyon? I think we could break the bank if you kissed him once on camera.”

“I-- I mean--” it’s a ridiculous request, clearly a joke, but her heart is pounding so loud in her ears she can’t hear her own thoughts-- “that’s not really w-what the show is about.”

Higata laughs. “That’s what you think.”

“What does who think?”

Shirayuki jumps straight out of her chair.

It’s not an exaggeration; there’s literal air between her butt and the seat, and when she lands again, the soft cushion makes the most obvious whoosh noise in existence, only worse, since it’s slow too. No obnoxious whoopee cushion womp, oh no, just an endless, air pump whoosssssshhhhhh that’s as blatant as a rattlesnake in the silence.

“Obi!” His lean shadow fills the doorway—wow, is he actually that tall?—and his head tilts, just enough so that his eyes shimmer gold. “I—nothing! We were, um, nothing?”

“We were talking about true crime,” Higata supplies, darting her a pitying look, “and how that’s what everyone thinks we are. Winchester House just emailed back.”

Obi grimaces, teeth flashing white in the dark. “Ah, great. Another one of those.”

“Yeah,” she sighs, deflating into a slouch. “I could talk about Big Foot until I’m blue in the face, but everyone thinks I have nuanced opinions about Jeffrey Dahmer.”

One narrow brow arches toward his hairline. “But you do have nuanced opinions about Jeffrey Dahmer.”

“I just think animal mutilation is probably a sign things aren’t going right in your life and someone should have noticed.” She waves her hands, at a loss. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to explore a supposedly haunted house.”

His lips twitch, right at one corner. “For a skeptic, you’re really into the idea you could see a ghost.”

“Stories are part of the human experience,” she explains primly. “We use them to understand what feels inexplicable. And ghosts are part of how we compartmentalize death.”

“Or they are the remnants of people who died too soon.” Obi pushes himself off the jamb, sauntering over to where they sit. “Or whatever bad juju is left by human misery—hey, that’s a sweet mugshot. Who’s it supposed to be?”

Higata squints. “I keep thinking it might be Shiira? But the cheeks are all wrong.”

“Huh.” Obi leans between the two of them, nose hovering mere inches away from the screen. His arm presses into her shoulder, too warm. “Brecker.”

“Brecker?” Higata tilts his head. “Oh yeah, I see it now. He’s not gonna like that.”

He huffs out a laugh. “Good thing he doesn’t watch joyless tripe like Unsolved then.”

“Yeah.” Higata snickers, raising the opacity. “Good thing.”

Obi settles back on his heels, hand gripping the back of her chair. She dares a glance up, and there he is, watching her with one of those looks she doesn’t know how to read. “Don’t worry, Lyon,” he says, thumb rubbing at the plastic back. “The season’s only just started. Give it some time.”

“I’d love to,” she mutters, tilting her head back, resting it on his wrist. “But try explaining that to Izana.”

[Obi] I’m just saying, there’s no sexier crime than a heist. ...Well, I mean, that doesn’t involve actual sex.

[Shirayuki] *wheeze*

[Obi] You know what I mean.

[Shirayuki] Do I? Am I finding out too much about you right now? Is this how you get seduced at parties? Girls just cornering you and telling you about high-profile robberies?

[Obi] *laughs* This is absolutely not how I get seduced at parties. Unless you’d like to try...?

[Shirayuki] . . .

[Obi] Besides, it’s not like this is just a regular robbery. Heists don’t happen to normal people. Just the rich ones.

[Shirayuki] Well, this *is* a museum. It’s for learning purposes.

[Obi] Oh, like all that stuff actually *belongs* to a museum anyway.

[Shirayuki] Actually...this time it does!

[Obi] Wow, now there’s a mystery I want to investigate.

“We want to capitalize on the energy from this season.”

Izana isn’t a man who lounges; his mesh office chair is relentlessly ergonomic, only a few aggressively rolled lumbar supports away from a torture device. But still, he gives off the energy of a cat lazing in a sunspot, already gotten into the cream.

“Unsolved has always had excellent metrics, but since the premier--” he glances pointedly at Obi-- “they’re unparalleled by any other digital media Wisteria has put out on any of its platforms.”

Obi sprawls in one of the wire-frame chairs Izana has out, far too big for its delicate frame, every inch of him as still as the grave. Except for his one, bouncing knee, practically vibrating as he asks, “That’s...good right?”

“Very good.” Shirayuki may not be a metrics person, but working with Zen gave her more than a passing acquaintance with what success sounds like. “I think he’s telling us...we’re his cash cow.”

Izana’s lips lift into a smirk. “Just so. You’re more popular than Stand the Heat, and that’s saying something.”

It is saying something-- Obi’s show consistently has the most hits and the highest likes-to-views ratio. It’s been the backbone of Hypewire’s digital media section since it premiered last year, and now-- now Unsolved has passed it. If the graph Izana’s laid out is right, they’ve passed it by...a lot.

Shirayuki sneaks a glance at Obi as he leans over, taking in the numbers. She can’t move, can’t even breathe as he stares, eyes rounding as he understands what’s happening.

He rips the paper off the desk, shaking it at her. “Do you see this?”

She blinks. “Y-yes?”

His mouth breaks into a grin, like a Labrador who has found a particularly giant stick. “We’re awesome.”

“Oh,” she breathes, and wow, this is really not the time to think about the-- the Abayan effect, even if that smile makes it extremely hard not to. “Okay.”

“We should have you on the show.” His knee bounces a mile a minute, words barely keeping pace. “See if that makes the ratings draw even.”

Shirayuki stares at him, but there’s no hint of sarcasm, no undertone of agitation. For all intents and purposes, it seems as if he’s just...inviting her on his highly rated cooking show.

That can’t be right.

“Not a bad thought, Abayan,” Izana hums, fingers tapping at the desk. “Turn that in to me with the rest of your proposals for next season.”

Obi grins. “No problem, boss.”

“Wait.” This is all happening too fast; it’s all too much. Three weeks ago she was scrambling for a new co-host, and now she’s sitting next to Hypewire’s media darling, talking about how she needs to be on his show for his ratings. “I don’t-- we shouldn’t--”

“Oh, can you not cook?” Obi smiles, and it’s-- entirely too much. “Don’t worry, Lyon, you’ll be on top when I’m done with you.”

“N-no!” she chokes. “I-- I’m the daughter of a bar! I mean, my grandparents--” ugh, four years to get a journalism degree, and she still can’t word good-- “they owned a pub.”

“Great.” His teeth flash, half-feral. “Then you’ll know how to follow my lead.”

“I think,” Izana says, tipping her a speculative look, “that Shirayuki is less worried about her prowess in the kitchen, and more about what these sort of numbers might mean to a show like Unsolved. Isn’t that right?”

“Ah, I mean...” It’s terrible how good he is at his job. “It’s all so...quick. We’re still editing this season, and already I’m working on the ideas for next one, and I have to not only write scripts but also scout locations, and Higata is already stretched thin--”

“We’ll get you another editor.”

Her jaw drops. “W-what?”

Izana folds his hands, so calm, and tells her, “We’ll get you another editor.”

Shirayuki stares, mouth utterly dry. It had been a struggle to get Higata last season; after Obi had roasted the idea during Pitch Fight, Hypewire’s higher-ups had been loath to put any actual support behind Unsolved. Only his dogged enthusiasm-- and flagrantly working on the project behind their backs-- had gotten him on board after the pilot took off. And now Izana Wisteria was just handing her someone else. Personally.

She reaches down and pinches herself. Yep, this is-- this is real life. Somehow.

“You want to-- you mean that--” she gulps-- “you want to give Unsolved a team?”

He nods, brusque and efficient. “I can get you another researcher as well. Or if the locations appear to be a problem, perhaps a personal assistant?” He lifts a hand, a Wisteria shrug. “Just let me know your needs, and I’ll see what I can do.”

“Unless it’s time, right?” Obi asks wryly. “That’s straight out.”

Izana’s mouth stretches into the barest grin. “The internet is instant, I’m afraid. You have to strike while the iron’s hot. I hope--” he fixes her with a meaningful look-- “we are all able to make the best of this opportunity.”

kisskissfall4luv: does ne1 no f this guy is gonna b here 4 the hole sesson? i luv Zen but i lik the nu guy 2 hes so funny!

kayla0202: I hope he is! I never thought I’d like something as much as Stand the Heat, especially a show about aliens and weird crime, but Obi and Shirayuki make me tune in every week! How long are Unsolved’s seasons again??

unsolvedjunky42: There’s only one other season, and that was 12 eps, though a lot of those were 10 minutes long, and these ones are averaging 17-20min. It looks like Obi Abayan is credited as co-host for the rest of the season: [follow link] So glad he signed on, I thought Unsolved would be dead in the water without Zen but Obi brings a whole new dynamic I didn’t ever realize the show was missing.

zenluvr999: i no were only 3 eps in but i think im gonna need a new name lmao

“Ah, I understand, but we really are looking to--” Shirayuki clenches her stress artichoke, its plush petals ballooning out from between her fingers, and stifles a sigh. “Yeah, I see. Thank you.”

The call cuts off with a beep, too cheerful a sound for its finality. Another opportunity lost. Shirayuki spills over her keyboard, groan lost beneath the function keys.

“Going that well, huh?” Kihal barely spares her a glance, but she does pull aside a headphone; the way editors show they care. “Tell me again how much you love this job.”

“I do love it,” she insists, muffled by the cool metal of her desk. “It’s just...so much work.”

“You know, we could just get that personal assistant.” Higata drops his headphones around his neck, settling back in his chair. It creaks beneath him, protesting his slouch. “I still can’t believe you said no to that.”

“We don’t need another team member.” Shirayuki lifts her head, just barely, to give him a warning glance. “We already have Kihal. That’s more than enough.”

“Really? We still have half a season left to edit, you have another season to write, and you want to tell me we couldn’t use another set of hands?” His eyebrow twitches up toward his hairline. “You just love making all those phone calls, huh?”

“It’s not that.” She rolls back, lifting herself upright. Her spine reminds her sharply that it doesn’t like doing that, that it was having a fine time as she was, but if there’s one thing Shirayuki knows how to ignore by now, it’s a complainer. “Unsolved was my idea to begin with, and if we can’t do the proposal we submitted last week, it should be me who’s to blame for it, not some poor intern.”

“She’s so cute,” Kihal coos across the cluster. “She’s got morals and everything.”

“That’s rich, coming from you,” Higata deadpans. “Didn’t you unionize the Yuris office?”

Her teeth flash predator white between the crimson stain of her lips. “Why do you think I volunteered to work this gig?”

He sighs, long-suffering. “See, this is the problem: the both of you like working too much. It’s getting in the way of having someone fetch my coffee for me.”

Shirayuki levels her best glare at him, the one she’s honed from one too many long nights in the editing bay. “If we had a PA, their job would not be to get you coffee.”

“If we had a PA, their job would be to make these stupid phone calls so Shirayuki can get actual work done,” Kihal informs him with a playful superiority than makes his eyes roll. “Instead of spending all day in a fugue of sadness and misery because no one will take her seriously.”

Shirayuki almost protests—there’s no fugue, and if anything, the rejections just make her more desperate and determined, but—

Her list of high-profile options has been reduced by a half, red lines spiking through some of her best hits with no relief in sight. She is about two seconds from eating her feelings through the oversized cinnamon buns in the company vending machine, and a fugue state is starting to sound like a preferable way to spend her afternoon.

“Ugh,” she decides, and lays down again.

“There, there,” Kihal croons, patting her back across their desks. “Someone will have to give you the time of day at some point.”

“I’m getting calls back.” She rolls over onto one cheek, thoughtful. “People are fans of the show! They just...don’t think we’re serious.”

Kihal scoffs. “About what? Aliens? Ghosts? I’ve been fielding queries all morning from Shuuka asking which direction we want to go for The Alexandria episode.”

“It’s the whole ghost hunting angle.” Higata leans over, liberating her artichoke from her grip, tossing it between his hands. “If I want to be fair, which I don’t, but here we are—it’s a new direction for the show. I guess it could be confusing to people used to our format.”

“I know, I know.” She pillows her chin with her hands, letting out a sigh. “I just wish one of them would give us a confirmation instead of—“ she waves her hand at her empty schedule—“all this.”

“They will.” She doesn’t know where Higata unearths all this unearned confidence, but she’s glad one of them has. “Let this season run its course. Zen was never big on the supernatural episodes, but these ones with Obi...people are definitely going to pay attention.”

He wouldn’t be saying that if he had to suggest waiting to Izana Wisteria. “They’re already paying attention to Obi. I’m always getting asked if--”

“If I’m as handsome as I look on screen?”

The thing is-- she’s not expecting it. One minute she’s sprawled across her desk, and the next Obi’s purr is tickling her ear, and--

“Ow, fff--” his gaze darts over where he clenches his nose-- “fudge. Sicles.”

“Nice save,” Kihal deadpans. “Now if only you could do that in the first minute of every video.”

“What can I say,” he honks, rubbing his nose. “I’m an off-the-cuff kind of guy.”

“You’re a ‘ruining our monetization’ kind of guy,” she shoots back, though she pushes over an abandoned chair for him to sit on.

“Oh, Obi!” Shirayuki yelps, hands hovering on either side of his face as he sits. “I’m so sorry! I was just--”

“Surprised, yeah, got that part.” he lifts his fingers, wobbling the bridge of his nose. “No harm done.”

“Good thing,” Higata mutters, “that face gets views.”

“Oh please.” Obi grins, devastating as always. “Chicks love a broken nose.”

Kihal barks out a laugh. “When it comes to you, chicks love breathing.”

He shrugs, sliding into a slouch. “Still no luck, I’m guessing?”

“None,” Shirayuki confirms. “Though people have been saying they enjoy the new season.”

“The concierge at the Roosevelt says you’re a lot cuter than Zen,” Kihal offers, needlessly.

Obi’s grin widens, wolfish. “You don’t say.”

“Maybe you should start using that Abayan charm to get us some bookings,” Kihal suggests wryly. “Earn your keep around here.”

“Please, I earn my keep. I’m the eye candy.” He winks. “Besides, I’d be happy to, but the big boss over here always tells me--”

“You don’t need to worry about it,” Shirayuki says, “it’s really my job--”

Higata waves a hand, long suffering. “You see the problem.”

“I do.” Kihal settles back. “Well, if you really just need a place...”

“I’ll take anything at this point,” she says to the particleboard of the ceiling. “Even if it’s just a haunted hole in the ground.”

“All right, well--” Kihal grins, sheepish-- “my condo is haunted.”

[Obi] So you’re telling me that this is just some crazy lady’s house, filled with all her stuff?

[Shirayuki] Isabella Stewart Gardner was a socialite and a philanthropist, *not* a crazy lady.

[Obi] Right, okay, but...she did turn her house into a museum, and then made everyone promise not to touch it. Not exactly what I think of when someone says ‘stable.’

[Shirayuki] Because she *curated* it, Obi!

[Obi] So what you’re telling me is that she knew that from forever to the end of time, she would have better taste than everyone else on the planet.

[Shirayuki] *sputtering* W-well--

[Obi] No, no, you’re right. I retract the crazy lady thing. Because that’s *baller*.

[Shirayuki] *laughs* O-obi!

[Obi] I want to be that lady. Like that is shade from the grave.

[Shirayuki] . . . . She also was personally friends with Monet.

[Obi] SEE? Life goals.

“So,” Obi hums from around a dumpling, his chopsticks already rooting for another, “what do you think?”

Shirayuki looks up, halfway through a very un-dainty bite of her own. “About--? Oh! I can’t believe they’re only fifty cents each! Where did you find this place?”

Despite his reputation on camera-- forward-facing, casual, intimate-- Obi isn’t someone who looks at people head-on. She’ll catch a glance sometimes, or maybe a considering look from the corner of his eyes, but for the most part, he’s always moving, eyes darting around to watch who filters into a room, or at the cars moving outside, or staring down the squirrel that likes to scratch at their window.

So when he looks at her, gold eyes trapping her as thoroughly as amber, she notices.

“Well,” he says after a long moment, “when you run a food show, people do give you some hot tips. But, ah--” he rubs at the back of his head, ears pink at the tips-- “that wasn’t really what I, ah, meant.”

Her mouth rounds. “Oh.”

His hands raise, chopsticks knitted under his knuckles. “Though I’m glad you like it! It’s, ah, one of my favorite places too. I just thought that you might have some, er--” he grimaces-- “thoughts, about the whole haunted condo thing.”

“Oh! That.” She taps her chopsticks on her plate, trying to gather her thoughts. “I just think...I don’t know. It’s not a bad place to start, but I just wanted...”

She blows out her cheeks on a sigh. “The ghost hunting is a new aspect of the show, and I wanted us to come out strong with an actual location...”

His mouth curls at a corner, too knowing. “And having us just carry around proton packs and talk about cold spots in a friend’s house isn’t really going to do much for our supernatural cred?”

“Yeah.” She slumps against the chair, defeat. “That. But I also feel like beggars can’t be choosers, and no one else is telling us yes, so...”

He nods, mouth pressed into a thoughtful line. “So there’s no rush to say no.”

“Right, yeah.” She glances at him from the corners of her eyes. “How about you?”

Obi blinks, eyes fluttering wide. “Me? This isn’t really my--” he hesitates, mouth working, starting a half dozen words-- “ah, I mean, I think...it’s smart. You’re right, a bigger place will give us more credit, but if one doesn’t come through then we have to start somewhere. Besides,” his mouth tics at a corner, twitching toward a smirk-- “I’ve always wondered whether she’s bikini or boyshorts.”

It’s only when her chin hits her chest that she realizes her jaw has dropped. “We’re not there to look in her underwear drawer!”

“Well, we’re not at work for her to look in my gym bag either,” he replies, sour, “but she did anyway.”

“She already said that was an accident--”

“--a likely story--”

“--That’s not what I meant anyway,” she admits with a huff. “I wanted to know if you were okay with the whole, ah...” her shoulders round, shy-- “metrics thing.”

“Metrics?” His head cocks, quizzical, but then-- “you mean, the stuff Izana showed us weeks ago?”

“Two weeks ago,” she corrects, heat flaring on her cheeks, “and, um, yes. I just...you’re not mad?”

Obi stares. “About what?”

“Unsolved.”

He shakes his head. “You’re...really going to have to be more specific than that.”

“The ratings.” She pokes at a dumpling, miserable. “Stand the Heat-- that’s your baby isn’t it? You pitched it and everything.”

“I...did?” he says, brow furrowed. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“It’s just-- Unsolved is doing better.” It’s not bragging, she knows that, but it feels like it. “And it’s-- it’s okay if you’re, um, upset about it. You’ve been doing this for--”

“OH.” Obi coughs, suddenly looking anywhere but at their table. “No, I really-- you don’t need to worry about that. At all. Please.”

She stares. “Obi, it’s okay. I’m not going to take it personally if you--”

“Kid, please,” he begs, holding up his hands. “It’s nothing. I mean, yeah, if Stand the Heat was on top, I’d be happy. I mean, I was happy when it was on top. But, this is...” his fingers twirl his chopstick mindlessly-- “this is good, too.”

“But--”

“Listen, I know you may find this hard to believe, especially with how we, uh, met, but I wasn’t kidding when I said I was a huge fan of the show. Not even a little. Understated it, in fact.” The tips of his ears flush. “So, uh, it’s kind of cool that I joined my favorite show, and now it’s super popular. That’s sort of the whole fanboy dream, right?”

“O-oh!” She stares down at her hands, willing them to stop trembling. “I, uh...I didn’t...I didn’t really think of it like that.”

“Yeah, well, now you know you don’t have to worry about it,” he says with a laugh. “I’m living the dream here. Not only am I on the show, but I’m more popular than the last guy. And I get to take the cute host out to lunch and call it business. The only square I need to finish fanboy bingo is getting to ki--”

His teeth snap down, so loud she hears the click. “Haah, never mind. Hey look, is that the waiter? Could we, ah, get the check?”

[Sender]: [email protected] [Recipients]: [email protected] [Subject]: Season 3 Hard Proposal

Is there any reason this isn’t in my inbox already?

Shirayuki closes her inbox with a grimace. “Ah, hey, Kihal?”

Her editor looks up, brows raised. “Yeah?”

She licks her lips, bracing herself. “Just...how haunted do you think your condo is?”

#obiyuki #akagami no shirayukihime #snow white with the red hair #my fic #ans #buzzfeed unsolved AU #ghost hunting got pushed back for FREESTYLE FLIRTING #so i'm sure none of you will complain #but also I had lots of thinky thoughts about how i didn't want to push aside the show aspect to do just the romance #since the manga focuses hardcore on her career #listen guys the second chapter of fics is always the hardest because then you're thinking of TONE and OTHER STRUCTURE THINGS #esp since i wasn't sure if i would expand this beyond a one shot #so i had to decided if this was gonna be straight up rom com business #or whether i wanted to be shirayuki making this show work as it sort of grows beyond the two pony operation she had before #and also here is her hot co-host she keeps accidentally flirting with oh no #obviously i'm going the second route here #so ENJOY

[bmaxwell]

Best Games I Don’t Want to Play

I play many games. I prefer to think of myself as a connoisseur, not just another pasty white neckbeard who has gained 50lb in the past year. But when I’m not working, or parenting, or doing other adult-type things, I’m usually playing a game of some sort. 

                                            Me playing Bloodborne

My job allows me to listen to podcasts while working, so between gaming podcasts and my Twitter feed, I end up hearing about approximately all of the games. And I’ve played enough diamonds in the rough and been delighted by enough things outside my comfort zone to cast a pretty wide net. 

Once in awhile, I find a game that I deeply want to connect with, but cannot. Like a defective moth to a digital flame, I keep coming back every year or two to try, try again. I’ll scroll through my library and think “Damn, Iconoclasts seems so cool! Why didn’t I get into that one? I need to try it again.” and repeat. It’s The Alan Wake Sbarro Experience.*

                                              Me playing Bloodborne

I spend a lot of time gaming. I spend a lot of time thinking. I think about thinking and I think about gaming. I like trying to find patterns, or to understand why certain games, or songs, or movies resonate with me while others fall flat. And so, dear reader, if you woke up today hoping against all odds you’d have the chance to read about some random gamer dude’s disappointing games on his blog - WELL...today is your lucky day! 

In no particular order:

Outer Wilds

Why it’s great:

Outer Wilds is about the majesty of space, exploration, and accepting that dying is a natural part of the cycle. At least I think it is. I really like the look of it, and I really like the idea of it. It has a low-tech charm; you start off on a planet where people are playing banjos and roasting marshmallows, and everyone seems laid back. The launch pad is made of rickety wood. Your ship might be, too. There’s a major mystery at hand that needs solving, and you’re just the being to do it.

Why I can’t get into it:

I’m not entirely sure. But I think it has something to do with how directionless and open the game is. Apart from some basic “Here’s how to control stuff” on your home planet, the rest is up to you. You can fly anywhere and check out anything. The universe somehow feels huge and scary and vast but not overwhelming. I have a problem with this kind of freedom. I once heard Patrick Klepek say that there are two kinds of kids: the kind who takes a block of Legos, tosses the instructions out, and has a blast making whatever, and the kid that HAS to have those directions. I’m the latter.

The Return of the Obra Dinn

Why it’s great:

It’s not often I play something that feels wholly unique. That’s Obra Dinn. It’s a weird Where’s Waldo whodunnit logic and deduction puzzle. You’re an insurance claims adjuster, tasked with finding out what happened to everyone aboard an abandoned ship. You do this by way of hearing audio clips and walking around memories frozen like dioramas. Sound design, visuals, concept, execution - Obra Dinn is just a success in every way.

Why I can’t get into it:

Logic and deduction puzzles feel like work, no matter how much I wish they didn’t. There are so many details to weigh against each other, I find the game exhausting and not fun to play. Playing it always made me feel tired and stupid.

Hyper Light Drifter

Why it’s great:

The main developer behind Hyper Light Drifter has congenital heart disease, and uses art to deal with his condition. He made this game where the protagonist suffers from a terminal disease. It’s a project made by someone with a passion for the subject matter. Diablo and A Link to the Past were among his inspirations. It has cool pixel art. The title is tits as fuck.

Why I can’t get into it:

I fired the game up and its opening cut scene worked for me. And I just do not know what happened. The movement and combat feels crisp, and yet I just can’t get into it. The world has no dialogue and has lots of puzzles to sort out. Maybe that’s it? There’s no real direction. Is that it?

                                      Me playing Hyper Light Drifter

Control

Why it’s great:

Before I talk about Control, I have to talk about Alan Wake from the same developer. Actually, just nevermind. Fuck Alan Wake.

Control’s writing, visuals, and worldbuilding are top notch. The game has a good central mystery, intriguing and well-written characters, and it’s often genuinely funny. It stars a redhead. 

Alan Wake was such a neat premise for a video game - a Stephen King-like story of a novelist who heads to a remote location to combat his writer’s block, only to have mysterious, supernatural shit happen to him. A cool, atmospheric mystery - great! I DON’T NEED OR WANT TO FIGHT RANDOM HITCHHIKER MONSTER MANS CONSTANTLY. I CAN ENJOY YOUR STORY I WON’T GET BORED WITHOUT ZOMBIES AND GUNS I PROMISE YOU

Why I can’t get into it:

I hate the combat. 3rd person cover shooting is not my jam. I figured once they added the option to turn the difficulty down I’d be all about it, but no. The map may be the worst I’ve encountered, it’s multilayered slightly varying shades of grey all spaghetti’d on top of one another. There’s supposed to be a door here...I guess it must be up or down a level? The checkpointing system sucks. Combine these two complaints with too many random battles, and this game is a real slog for me to try to get through, despite its good qualities.

Baba is You

Why it’s great:

See Obra Dinn. It’s a brilliant, unique puzzle game that is a bad fit for my brain. Visually, it’s dead simple. Each stage consists of a sheep named Baba, with some crude walls, water, rocks, grass, etc and a flag. There are also words on the screen that you can push around to make phrases which govern the game rules. So, if it says “Flag is Win” then you win the stage by getting Baba to the flag. Or you could push the word Baba into the space where Flag was and spell “Baba is Win.” Instant win. And so on.

Why I can’t get into it:

That “and so on” contains multitudes. Baba is hard. Bryan is dumb. Bryan is hard. Baba is Bryan. Baba is dumb. Hard is dumb.  I can’t do this.

Disgaea (just all of them)

Why its great:

It’s a long-running strategy RPG series, and I love those. Right? It’s anime and, if I don’t always love it, at least it’s not a deal-breaker. Right?

Why I can’t get into it: Wrong, apparently. First up, the anime is the kind of loud, shrill, in-your-face anime that put me off the stuff for most of my life. The gameplay is...a lot. It’s deep, and that’s a good thing. Right? I feel like if I hunker down and put real work into learning all of the game’s systems I’d probably love it! Maybe!

Hitman 2016

Why it’s great:

The game gives you a ton of creative freedom in how you go about carrying out your hits. You’re changing outfits to get access to different parts of the area, and using whichever makeshift weapons you can to get the job done. A can of pasta sauce is just as deadly as a pistol, and a lot more fun. The ridiculousness of the game’s clockwork world ends up being a positive because of how serious and straight-laced your protagonist is. 

Why I can’t get into it:

It’s the Lego problem again. Too much freedom, not enough direction. Every time something goes wrong, my lizard brain says YOU’RE SO BAD AT THIS WHY ARE YOU SO STUPID YOU CAN’T DO THIS AT ALL FOOL and my rational brain quietly says Uh, it’s just a game, bud. No one cares. No one’s scoring you on this. Just learn from your mistakes and have fun. Which is apparently not a convincing argument.

*The name of my new ska band

[jovialyouthmusic]

Bastien disrobes

Pernicious Passion 

Thanks to the lovely @stopforamoment for inspiring the following tribute from Bastien to the fanfic writers who keep his character alive...

Word count 1225

A/N Kind of self explanatory if you read Pernicious Passion

Tribute

Bastien set up the camera in his bedroom, checking to make sure his every movement would be caught in High Definition. He had fans he didn’t want to disappoint, and he was so grateful for the lady writers of the Choices Royal Romance fanfiction for rescuing him from digital oblivion. He knew he would live on for as long as anyone read their work. He was a minor character in the story, and others such as Drake and Liam had a head start on him thanks to all the other writers out there who had them as their Love Interests.

He stood in his trademark grey suit, sharp and well groomed. Being a digital construct he didn’t have to visit the hairdressers or shave every morning – either he could rely on the templates given him by his original creators, or change things slightly with a little mental effort. Having become self aware, he could be whatever he - or his lady admirers - wanted him to be.

He pressed record and got into position, looking straight into the camera

‘Ladies, I owe you all a huge debt of gratitude. Without you I’d be nothing – quite literally nothing at all. But you fought for me, and here I am, for as long as you all remember me. This is for all of you – you know who you are’ He reached over to start up a slow sultry tune on his MP3 player and took out his earpiece. The deep voice of Barry White echoed through the air (please if anyone has any ideas for an alternative track for Bas to strip to let me know)

He bent to untie his shoes and put them neatly on a rack in his wardrobe, slipping off his socks and tossing them into the laundry basket. He unbuttoned his jacket one button at a time, swaying to the music, just the hint of a wiggle in his hips. He turned his back to the camera and looked over his shoulder as he slowly shrugged it off, deftly spinning and catching it on one finger before fluidly picking up a hanger and sashaying over to the wardrobe to put it away.

He advanced on the camera, a swagger in his walk and stared right into the lens as he unbuckled his belt and smoothly drew it out of the loops, taking a hold of both ends in one hand and halfway along with the other, pulling it so that it made a snapping sound before rolling it up neatly to put it in his dressing table drawer. Nobody could see the rows of belts all neatly coiled inside, waiting for him to select one.

Next came the button of his waistband, smoothly unfastened before he put his knuckle to his mouth and bit it, giving a sultry look straight to the camera again. He had studied films of his face claim Fabricio Zunini and how well the model worked the camera, hoping that he could pull it off half as well.

Still gazing into the lens, he unzipped his pants (trousers, to those in the UK, he told himself) and turned his back to slide them down over his hips, fluidly stepping out of them. That part had taken a lot of practice and he had gotten tangled up and fallen over more than once so he was pleased with that – so far, so good. The pants/trousers neatly folded, he turned to camera to give a smouldering look before intently and moodily gazing at his cufflinks as he took them off and placed them on his dressing table – neatly in line with the mirror of course, he wasn’t a slob. He rolled his sleeves up.

He tossed his head and ran his fingers through his hair, hoping that the glance he gave to camera was hot and sultry and not just cross eyed and goofy. He took hold of the knot in his tie before drawing the loose end through smoothly, flicking so the tie was straight, again folding and snapping it like he had his belt. The sound was softer, but he grinned seductively as he did so. The tie went onto his rotary tie rack, and he looked over his shoulder as he hung it neatly.

He stood square on to the camera, legs wide in a strong dominant stance as he unbuttoned his shirt, his gaze deadly serious as he revealed his broad lightly haired chest and impossibly toned abdomen – he’d been sure to conjure up a good twelve pack before he started. He turned in time to the music to shrug the shirt off, but this item was not folded – no, he felt a thrill of rebellion as he scrunched it up into a ball – and threw it into the laundry hamper.

He stood just in his briefs, staring into the lens yet again, psyching himself up for the final phase. He wanted to go through the whole sequence in one, one fluid and flawless performance for the wonderful and loyal @bobasheebaby, the sweet @stopforamoment, the mature but horny @jovialyouthmusic. He remembered the brilliant @sirbeepsalot helpful @emceesynonymroll, devoted @lolablackwrites, and the determined but shy @mfackenthal. He wasn’t going to forget the  generous @tornbetween2loves or the lovely @strangerofbraidwood or @endlessflame who had set the ball rolling in the fandom. The gorgeous ladies from Cordonians Gone Wild had a special place in his heart too, as they had been the ones to track him down when Kara had effectively kidnapped and held him ransom.

Facing the camera with a broody expression, he pouted and hooked his thumbs into the elastic of his briefs. This was not going to be a fast reveal – oh no, he was going to have all who watched drooling in anticipation – they might sweat and beg and faint, but he was going to work them, work them for all they were…

‘Hey Bas – welcome back man, I heard all about – WHAT THE FUCK?’ A look of shock crossed Bastien’s face as he whirled round to see Drake Walker enter the room, bottle of whiskey in hand – but now he had his other hand over his eyes and he staggered against the wall unsteadily.

‘Walker! For the love of – do you NEVER knock before entering a room?’ Bastien growled, rapidly turning off the camera and exasperatedly realising he was going to have to do it all over again. He turned the music off. ‘Okay son, I have my briefs on, you don’t have to be so dramatic’ he said gruffly

‘What on earth are you doing Bas?’ Drake asked, peeking through his fingers first before taking his hand away from his face. Bastien shrugged his red silk paisley dressing gown on.

‘If you must know, it’s a thankyou to the ladies of the fandom who rescued me’ he said ‘I promised to repay them, it’s the least I can do’

‘Well I sure as hell wished I hadn’t walked in on you’ Drake replied ‘That image, along with the one of Lucy using a strap on with Brad in ‘Two’s Company’ will stay in my pixelated head for a long, long time.’ Bastien sighed heavily.

‘I’m going to have to do the whole thing all over again – unless you know someone who’s good at video editing. Pass the bottle son, I need a good stiff drink’

Bastien Disrobes - take 23

#wacky drabbles #bastien lykel #pernicious passion #trr fanfic

[destinywillowleaf]

SWN-002 Wing Man

“That's the power of love!”

Wingman was created by Dr. Wily in an attempt to beat Mega Man in a field outside of battle by harnessing the power of love. Wing Man has flight capability and wields a piercing arrow called his "Cupid Crossbow". Being designed to defeat Mega Man through love, Wing Man has a large board dedicated to unravelling his love life. Similar boards exist for Proto Man and Bass, forming the "Tiny Trio". He'd call them the Big Three, but they're short.

Wing Man likes cheesy romcoms and dislikes Proto Man (for being hard to read). His strong point is his dedication to his task, though he can become blinded by the task at hand and not remember the other couples he's trying to get together.

This took longer than I expected to actually write and get out to share.

With this year’s Valentine’s contest over(courtesy of rockmiyabideusexmachina), I can finally talk about this boy! He was so much fun to make and I’m definitely gonna be using him more in the future. I’ve got a lot of thoughts on him, the stages of his design, and a lot of pictures, so it’s gonna be under the cut.

Now that that’s outta the way, let’s get into the process of Wing!

...I thought we were talking about Wing Man, who’s this?

Meet “Playboy Bunny”, this duality of a Maverick and the first draft of a character for this contest. Usually she’s the sweet Playboy Bunny, a majorly human-like Reploid acting as a performer. However, once you’ve provoked her, she throws off the sweet guise and becomes Magnet Hare, the quick and fast-attacking Maverick with attractive properties. 

To be honest, I’m half wondering if I would’ve done better if I had done more with her design and actually gone with her instead. The main reason I didn’t go with her in the end was cause I thought someone else was gonna go with it and then there would’ve been repeats.

I might come back and do more doodles of her someday, refining her design to be less human with bunny accessories and more rabbit/bunny with human-like proportions. 

The very first drawings of Wing Man. The only thing I really had down at this point were the general heart-shapes, his name, and his weapon’s name. The one on the left was the first draft, and the right one was a case of “should he actually have wings or nah?”. The name actually came to me when I was sitting in class and I think that’s part of the reason I got attached. The pun name is probably the biggest holdover from Bunny, though another element did come by later…

This is where the magic happened. The front-facing sketch was the first real attempt and trying to figure out what I wanted from him. I knew that he should have a general heart-shape for his chest armor, and maybe his helmet could follow the same idea with one in the center. It took a bit to look through the other Robot Master helmet designs, but I feel like Wing’s looks like it could fit with everyone else’s. At one point I was considering giving him a heart braid kinda like Tundra’s, but I wound up scrapping it. I think it was because I was sick of braids after doing so many for Nahyuta…

Then some arrows! I couldn’t decide whether to have actual arrows or energy arrows, but I feel like the energy arrows make it look more unique. And the first appearance of the bowtie! I didn’t even know if I was gonna give him one at first but once I made the doodle I knew it was gonna stay. Bunny has a bow, too, but hers was just a regular ribbon one. 

The collapsible crossbow was something I knew I wanted from the start, because Wing’s not a huge fighter. He will fight to achieve his goals, and sometimes it’s more necessary than at other times, but it’s easier to have it folded outta the way. The “string” of the crossbow forms when it is expanded out, and then he can start firing his weapon.

Also, his boot. Simple enough design. Not much to be said. Same goes for the side profile, I was just trying to get a better feel for his design.

I was debating for a while about whether or not to actually give Wing Man wings. On the one hand, it’d help for the joke of him being a wingman and a wing(ed) man, but on the other hand I don’t like drawing wings because I still don’t really understand them all too well.

The bottom center image was a pretty defining part of making Wing, to be honest. It’s probably one of my favorite drawings/doodles of him just because of the causal nature of suggesting a relationship with someone(and it’s up to you to decide who it is) and Rock’s immediate reaction of fear/concern. I don’t screw around with expressions enough anymore…

I don’t have any versions of this page without color on it, but that’s because this was a color testing page. I wanted to test out my physical colors first before spending too much time digitally experimenting, and I had two main ideas: either red-pen red in varying pressures or coral Sharpie highlighter. By the final design, you can tell which one I went with. I wanted to compare them side-by-side, and the half-and-half wasn’t really cutting it for me. I did a second comparison on the other page(which is gonna be further down this post).

I was trying to get a better grasp on the wings, too, since I eventually decided just to go for it and make it more of a pun.I couldn’t decide if I wanted the wings like on top of the jetpacks or off to the sides, but I went with on top of the jets in the end. The off to the side wings were taken from how Tengu Man’s “wings” are positioned. As for the wings themselves… I was honestly mostly taking reference from Pit’s emotion portraits from Kid Icarus Uprising. I had the image with all of his different emotions and it wasn’t like Wily would be going for complete accuracy how big wings would need to be since, y’know, jetpack.

The color scheme of the wings also changed over time, and I think probably for the better. Layering the colors instead of just making a weird gradient overtop looks nicer(even if those colors could probably use some refinement all things considered). I was also deciding on the weapon “type” for the crossbow, since Megaman’s weapon get picture is on this page. Piercer seemed like it would fit the best, going through multiple enemies in a straight shot.

Designing the ability get was actually pretty simple, which I’m glad about. I wanted to go more off of the Megaman 11 style of weapon get, altering the helmet, arm, and color only, and I wanted to stick to that. I also wanted to keep two of Wing’s more defining elements - his bow and wings - on the ability get, so I moved them from Wing’s torso to Rock’s helmet.

Alongside the ability get, an unfinished battle scene. Nothing too special here.

I tried the color testing thing again, and it was here, I believe, that I first settled on the idea of “hey what if he looked like he was wearing a suit or something” and colored it accordingly. The color on the feet honestly sold me on the left one, because the cherry-red was beautiful and it was just red pen under the highlighter. I was happy with the pieces I had and started to put it all together into the final product…

Every Robot Master needs a pose for their artwork, and Wing was gonna be no different. I could’ve gone for something more dramatic, I know, but I was really really happy how the posing turned out for the one on the left. The smaller one on the right was more for fun and was messing around with some line thickness. There’s also less feathers because I was kinda lazy.

The main reason I have him sitting is because I think his boss entrance, were he to be fought in a typical arena, would have him pulling a Meta Knight and coming down from a high ledge to attack. Saying his pre-battle line, sliding/jumping down from on-high, and with a flourish, the battle begins.

Also I just wanted to draw my boy looking cute. Sue me.

The physical version of Wing sitting(on the left) is what I had initially been going for in color scheme, with a lot less coral-ish colors in the mix. Trying to recreate those colors, however, was a problem, so for all intents and purposes this is what I hold as why he's really supposed to look like. But with a complete physical form, what's next?

...hoo boy.

Trying to make the leap from physical to digital was a pain. I realized after I had essentially finalized the physical sketch of Wing posing that the helmet and face kind of made no sense. I spent a while trying to make it right and nothing worked how I wanted it to so I eventually just moved on from that. 

One thing to know is that I basically only work in MS Paint. I don’t have any other digital drawing software on my computer and the tablet available to me doesn’t respond to styluses as far as I can gather. So taking the widely-varying-in-color picture and making it not like that was something I had to remember how to do because otherwise I was gonna suffer the consequences. I knew it had to do with outlines but apparently Paint didn’t want to accept my drawn outlines and would only take ones made in the software. And jpgs were pixel-y, which I forgot since the last time I was extensively using the software.

Once I had my system back, I made the silhouette and digitalized “I’m just sayin” as a practice round of sorts. But with the simple pieces out of the way… the time came for making the whole reference sheet. The pose, the front and side views, the shipping board to serve as a back view, the wings, the Weapon Get, the weapon, and the little character-defining details.

Save states fill most of this folder for a reason. Working with what I had and going over and through everything to make sure I had all the pieces ready, making saves before the background deletion so I would just have outlines, and just hoping that this was all gonna be worth the work.

One of the more… challenging, I guess, parts of the design process for Wing: trying to give him a unique silhouette. Including the wings was, in part, because of this. Most, if not every Robot Master has a unique silhouette that you can look at and say “Oh that’s [name here]” or at least be able to tell them apart. Whether it’s fire, a boomerang, a snake tail, a lightbulb, a weird body shape, or their arms, there’s something to set each one apart. And I wanted Wing to have that same feeling, so if you were to see a blacked-out version of him you could still tell that it was Wing and not someone else.

Without the wings, he’d probably resemble a downgraded Quick Man - which makes sense, considering I was using Quick’s body shape as a base for Wing’s for a more subtle top of a heart. But I didn’t want Wing just to look like Worse Quick Man, so the wings had to stay. The crossbow helps in that regard too, but the wings really set him apart.

This is what I’m talking about. He looks like a generic character without the wings.

Trying to keep Wing in the same vein of design as other Robot Masters was also, I guess, the reason I used the colors I did. Robot Masters typically don’t have too many colors, and didn’t want Wing to be a colorful mess. Maybe I could’ve had another more striking color in his design, but I’m happy with the colors I have. Reds and pinks and white with a skin tone taken from the physical doodles that I tried to have be a brownish-cherry if that makes any sense. Like it was supposed to still be in the red(kinda orange) family of colors but still be distinct enough as a skin tone. I didn’t want to have too many variations on colors, but I do think I could’ve done better on some of the distributions(and holding onto the idea of “stop using so many colors”).

Like I said, I consider the physical drawing to be the true colors of Wing, and the digital can’t quite capture the physical.

...Okay, I think that’s everything I wanted to say. If you actually read through this entire monstrosity of a post, thank you. I do have a full colored version of the "I'm just sayin'" that'll go up eventually because it was fun.

#willowtalks #willowarts #wing man #rockmiyabideusexmachina #Valentine's day 2020 robot master design contest #mobile is a pain #even though i don't like drawing wings i love my boy #i should work on my other projects #like Golden Days #or school stuff #if someone draws him ill cry #i should draw my characters moreeee #finally went back and edited the images to be in the right spots ^^; #mostly because i wanted to draw him again #still don't like drawing wings

[ouchmaster6000]

RE that zim/anpanman post - while Anpanman doesn't get as dark in tone, Baikinman regularly tries to kill people and has done things like tear pages out of an anthropomorphic book and make food-based characters spoil and rot. Not as gruesome as doing it to "real people" characters but that's not the point really; the idea behind it is still there, so Japanese kids are just very accustomed to an alien being that sadistic within the context of their series

First of all, I should point out I agree that Japanese kids are probably used to seeing more intense stuff on TV than american ones. Alot of shows like Yu-Gi-Oh, One Piece, Digimon and even Pokemon occasionally are known for having stuff edited out of the english dub. A pretty decent number of shonen series just flat out get marketed to an older audience in the states (stuff for kids in japan being aimed at middle schoolers here, stuff for teens being aimed at adults etc.)

Hell, I’m fairly certain Dragon Ball Z and Tenchi Muyo probably would have been marketed to adults in the US if it came out today too (Former for the violence, latter for the sexual stuff) and only got away with as much they did because they were on cable, and the idea that kids anime could appeal to adults simply hadn’t occurred to most western producers at that point.

I just…. Dont really think Anpanman is a good example of this? I also dont agree with the original poster’s Zim comparison. Granted, I suppose I probably should watch the show, but from everything I have seen of it, such as discussions on Bogleech’s website, it doesn’t seem that much edgier than standard kids show? Definitely a bit weirder and more violent than most preschool shows in the states, but overall, I doesn’t sound like Baikinman is much worse the your average kids cartoon villain.

I mean for starters, its pretty standard in kids media for killing and mutilating for non-human characters to be allowed, especially if said characters don’t have blood or flesh.

The obvious example is robots. Star Wars, Transformers, Doctor Who, Superman, Green Lantern, Teen Titans, Xiaolin Showdown, Age of Ultron,  - There are way too many shows, comics and movies to list that eithor aimed at kids or families, that have robots and cyborgs being torn apart in ways that would be pretty graphic if it happened to humans or animals.

Digimon is a related example - The only reason the franchise is allowed to have as much death as it does is because 99% of the fatalities happen to digital lifeforms that dissolve into pixels upon death.

Hell one of my favorite movies as a child was the original Toy Story, and all the scenes where Sid was mutilating and blowing up his toys would have gotten a hard R rating if he was doing it to people. I’ve heard a lot of people compare Sid to Dr. Frankenstein, but with toys, but at least Dr. Frankenstein used parts that were already dead (as opposed to tearing/cutting apart still living people) and put them together in a shape roughly resembling a human. Really, Sid’s toys are less Frankenstein and more human centipede.

I also remember Fosters Home for Imaginary friends having a similar reoccuring theme of “food friends” meeting a worse fate than Anpanman. This included half eaten, traumatized anthropomorphic food dreamed up by kids in stuck in fat camp, or a talking pizza dreamed up by the bully character and eaten and killed just seconds after being “born”

So, although obviously dark comedy, Baikinman doing those things isn’t really anything new for childrens media. Neither, is trying to kill someone, since a lot of cartoon villains have made serious attempts to kill people, they just never succeed.

But Zim successfully mutilating and removing the organs and body parts of human children is definitely not normal for a kids show.

Another issue I took with Revretch’s post was that she wasn’t just talking about Zim the character, she seemed to me to be claiming that “Invader Zim” the TV series wouldn’t be seen as edgy just because the main character is similar to Baikenman… but thats not really how it works? You can’t necessarily tell the tone of a show, just from the nature of its protagnist.

Like, by that logic, Courage the Cowardly Dog should be one of the most light hearted and kid friendly shows out there, but in actuality the world he inhabits is much, much darker, scarier and more surreal than Courage himself is.

Its true that, though the writers/network let Zim do much worse stuff on screen, there are plenty of other childrens cartoon characters whose personality is pretty similar to Zim, or whom are a lot creepier and more threatening. Mojo Jojo and HIM from the powerpuff girls are good examples of both of these, respectively. 

In fact, Powerpuff Girls, Xiaolin Showdown, Codename: Kids Next Door, Danny Phantom and plenty of other childrens cartoons all have both villains that are similar to Zim, and villains that are considerably more evil, creepy or serious than Zim ever was, but the tone of these shows, overall, is a relatively more optimistic one, where the main protagonists have more or less happy lives and good always triumphs over evil in the end.

Hell, even Gravity Falls, with its use of creepy horror imagery, occasional forays into adult humor, and having one of the most infamous big bads in childrens animation (and easily my favorite from the last 10 years) remains a fairly optimistic show at its core, about family and summer adventures.

This is not the case with Invader Zim, which is a show where humans as a species are portrayed as so comically stupid and mean spirited that, even if Zim somehow successfully killed or enslaved them all, it probably wouldn’t come across as a big deal in the grand scheme of things.

A show where the Irkens are depicted both commiting genocide, and electrocuting a disobedient slave on screen, and whose society is such a dystopia they are forced to udergo intense military training from birth and generally assigned roles for life based on genetics.

A show where the elementary skool is portrayed as a collection of all the absolute worst aspects of public school, both in terms of how its run, and how the kids treat each other, exaggerated to an absurd degree.

A show where a reoccurring joke character is a homeless man, who got taken advantage by a fast food chain, paid in free pizza and a room in the back of a resturant, became morbidly obese (Yes, this is Bloaty’s canon origin story) and was last seen in the original show sobbing uncontrollably because he hates his life.

Also, although this was obviously changed significantly in the comics and the Enter the Florpus special, in regards to what was portrayed in the original show, its really not difficult to make the argument Dib’s own dad and sister don’t give a shit whether or not he lives or dies.

Of course, this was all done for very dark laughs, as well as to create a setting that was just the right balance of humor and nihilism that the viewer could choose to either root for, laugh at or sympathize with either Zim or Dib without really worrying about the actual moral implications of either sides goals.

I’m not saying Zim is the edgiest show out there, comedic or otherwise. With stuff like Warhammer, Berserk, Venture Bros, Metalocalypse and all manner of gritty 90s anihero comics, Zims pretty light hearted and goofy in comparison.

But for childrens animation? Aside from some of the 90’s “grossout” cartoons like Ren & Stimpy and Cow & Chicken (which varied a lot in quality, imo) I can’t really think of any others that come close (Maaaaybe Billy & Mandy, but I think its too tonally inconsistant, with a lot of episodes being pretty standard cartoon slapstick.)

Wow, I sure did type a lot. Sorry about that. But Invader Zim is one of my all time favorite shows, and fictional villains one of my favorite topics, so I feel like I have a lot to say about them.

#invader zim #anpanman #baikenman #cartoons #anime #children's media #villains #cartoon villains #iz

[sam-lives-story]

#SamLives - Chapter 5

“The Livestre҉a̲͉m”

[Previous|Next]

Also find the latest chapters of this story on [Archive Of Our Own]

‘Hi Jack! I wanted to know if you’ll have Sam in another video? He’s so cute!’

‘Hey there Jack, i’ve been watching your channel for a while and I wanted to say thank you for always making me smile. And by the way are you okay? You look really tired. Is Anti trying to take over again? xD’

‘Jack! Bro! Hi-five! *Wha-psh!* You’re so funny!!! I love your videos and I really like all the stuff you do with the egos. Is Schneep coming back? What about Chase? Does Sam count as an ego? I wanna see him again. He’s definitely real right?’

‘Is Sam real??? :0′

‘Holy shit #SamLives omfg’

‘You okay jack? You look really tired in your videos. Don’t forget to take care of yourself! You take care of us all the time, Maybe it’s our turn to take care of you! Get some rest and don’t worry about missing an upload. We’ll understand! <3’

‘Dude are you dropping hints again? Is Anti gonna show up again? I’m so scared! x3′

Jack was sitting hunched over in his desk chair, scrolling through his asks on Tumblr with a slightly strained look on his face. It was becoming harder and harder to find ones he could answer without either lying or giving away hints about his future plans for the egos. He groaned and let his phone fall to the carpet, his head dropping to his desk with a quiet ‘thunk’. He really didn’t feel up to recording today.

It had been three days since his call with Mark and the other YouTuber had been evasive any time Jack tried to question him about what he’d been talking about. And since that call, Jack’s paranoia had only gotten worse. Four more recordings had shown hints of Anti in the background, and it made him scared to try and record another one when that glitch could be watching him, creeping up on him while he was fully immersed in a game. He had been editing out the glitches before passing his recordings on to Robin, had tried to cut out the parts where Anti had shown up and blamed the missing sections on “camera issues, don’t worry about it”. No need to worry Robin if it turned out to be nothing but paranoia. Jack didn’t want to be leaving clues where they didn’t exist, especially since he already had plans for the upcoming month. Anti showing up prematurely would ruin things.

...then there was the fact that oh my god Anti is real what the hell is going on. Because now, Jack was sure it wasn’t just him and Robin that had seen Anti. It wasn’t just his own caffeine-driven delirium or Robin playing a prank. No, the entire community was talking about it...which meant it really did happen. Anti really was showing up. Which made this entire situation that much more terrifying. Not only was he scared that people knew Sam was real...he was getting scared because everybody else thought Anti wasn’t.

The buzz of his phone between his feet made him jump, heart pounding, and it took him a moment to catch his breath. Jesus...he panted softly, clutching at his chest, closing his eyes for a moment. It was nothing. Just his phone. Just...a text, or something. He picked it up, read Robin’s message, and groaned.

Robin: Having issues with the second upload today. Might have to stream instead. Is that okay?

Jack pressed his phone to his forehead, eyes squeezed shut, thinking. If he started a stream, and something happened live, he wouldn’t be able to cut it out. He wouldn’t be able to hide it. If he was streaming, people would see his exhaustion seeping through between his cheerful humor and energy.

Maybe he could wear makeup?

...not the worst plan

But that still left Anti...

With a huff, Jack sat back in his chair and typed back a reluctant message.

Jack: Yeah...yeah, I can stream. Jack: Keep an emergency contact on speed-dial just in case. Robin: Why? Expecting a break-in? You haven’t been playing The Game have you? That shit makes good nightmare fuel Robin: I doubt anything bad will happen lol...but sure, whatever you say.

Jack let his eyes close again and he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. Another message.

Robin: So should the emergency contact be Felix, or PJ, or should I just start screaming “HEY MA” if something goes wrong?

Jack threw his phone across the room.

"NO! SCREW YOU KALE-POP-08!”

An hour into the stream, and those who were watching were all laughing as he died, yet again, in Fortnite. Not that he was really mad at all. He chuckled along with the rest of them, groaning at his defeat, flopping over in his chair.

“Jackieboy Man, beaten again! How could this happen to me?” He took a deep breath, singing at the top of his lungs: “How could this happen to meeee? I’ve made my mistaaaakes–”

The chat responded by spamming the lyrics, to which Jack let out a chuckle.

“Ah well...guess I’m still kinda mediocre. But hey! I finished fourth! Not bad at all.”

Jack grinned and opened his mouth to start using his “Announcer Voice™” to commentate on Kale-Pop-08′s game, when the chat suddenly switched gears. Everybody began spamming basically the same thing in all caps.

» TURN AROUND! 0.0

» LOOK BEHIND YOU!!

» BEHIND YOU!  D:

» JACK, BEHIND YOU!!!

All the color drained from Jack’s face and he spun in his seat, head whipping over his shoulder - and he let out a strangled sound, his eyes flying wide. There, in the corner, was a dark shadow. A distortion in the air. A glitch. And Jack knew full well what it was. Anti. In the real world. Right behind him. This was the first time he had actually managed to spot the digital demon outside of replays of his own recordings...and he didn’t have a fucking clue how to handle it.

“No!” he shouted, running on autopilot, his chair falling out from beneath him and his headphones tumbling from his head. He scrambled to his feet, backing up against the desk, as far back from Anti as he could possibly get. “N-No! Stay back! Don’t...d-don’t touch me! I KNOW WHO YOU ARE!”

His tone was turning desperate and scared and the stream was all but forgotten, panic blinding him in the moment. The darkness warped, morphed, a pair of brilliant green eyes staring at him from the shadows. A glitching, distorted, high-pitched version of his own laugh echoed back at him and he shuddered, a chill running down his spine.

“B-Back off, Anti!” he snapped, his bravado fading fast. Then before he knew what was happening there was a hand gripping the front of his shirt and pitch-black eyes boring into his own.

“E͙ṅjͩo͆y̑iͭnͨg͛ o̠u᷈r͌ l᷉i᷅t̋tͣl̈e̘ g͡a̓m᷊e͘,̓ a᷄r̫é y̲o̒ū̦̩?͕”

The voice sounded so like his own, but at the same time - so different. Darker. Distorted. Broken. He barely had time to register what was happening before he found himself being yanked backward away from the desk, tumbling across the floor with a cry of shock. Jack dragged himself to his feet, trying to get out, get away - then his back was slammed against the wall and there was a hand at his throat.

“I͆'̾m̦ a᷉ ḷĭṫtͤl͙e̡ dͨi̇s̢a͞p̣pͪo̺ịn̤tͪe͐d͗ t͓h̓o͡u̪gh,” Anti sneered, grinning wickedly. “Tͩh̎ọu̢g̤h̤t͊ y͋o̮u͠'̭d͖ a̓t̛ l̇e̬aͧs̽tͤ lͣeͪt̏ t̫h̓e̎ w᷇o͊r̮l͏d̊ s̪e᷀e̐ m͜e͍.͗.̬.̏b̓u̗tͪ n͌o̩,͑ y̢o͒u᷇ h̔idͥ m̻e᷇ ăw͋a᷆y̠ l̕ḭk͡e ä́ di̓rͤty l͇ỉtͭt̰l̃e͙ s̜ȅcͪr᷉e᷈t̀.”

Jack clawed at the hand around his throat, but he couldn’t get a grip on it. It wasn’t fully solid. Trying to grab Anti’s hand was like trying to dig through a bin of tiny, static-charged Lego’s.

“H̾o͐w̎ m̿a̴n̒y̾ v̢i͂dͧe͖o̤s͖ dͪi̪d̐ Iͤ s͌h̖o͗w͠ ṳp͎ i͛n̉?̄ H̽oͨwͯ ma̾n̬y o͠f͎ t᷀h͘e̥m̶ d͙i̟ḑ y̩o᷈ủ c̬u͈t͎ m͋e͝ oͤu̼tͨ oͯf̗?͛”

Anti shook him roughly, clutching at Jack’s neck so tightly he found himself gasping, choking, trying to catch his breath. Anti turned away from Jack slightly, eyes landing on the computer across the room, the stream that was still going on...and he grinned, a wicked, sharp, dangerous grin.

“W̧e͒lͅl̔ y̡oͫư c̦aͫn̟'̯t͏ ću̸t̞ m͝eͫ o͎u̿t͙ o̩f̄ tͭh̭i͙s̓ o̡n̻e. Ťh̍ȇŷ c̯a̸n̄ s̐e͓e̒ mͣe̽ nͮoͯw̔,᷉ c̱a̬nͣ'͍t̙ t͂h͆eͦỷ?̪ B̜u̕t̙ i̱ť l̴ōôk̦s᷅ l͂i̐ke͍ t͌ḧ́e͕y͡ m̳i᷈g̬h̹t̓ hͤa͂v̖e̕ bͤȇe᷄n᷉ t̤ỏo̽ lͫa̘t̵e᷆.̍” He tilted his head to the side, his image glitching and delayed, the action looking far from human...and the laugh that left him was even less so. “Yͧo̿uͯ'ͣr̕e᷀ p̵a͔yͣi̜n̪g̓ a̤t̲t͞e̽n̼t͆ĩo̢n̬ nͫO͐w̋ A̕řE͘n̓'̈́T̛ y̎O᷉Ǘ?̟!͌?͌”

Jack was struggling, fighting, trying to get air, little spots appearing in his vision–

“Leave him alone!”

A small but brave voice came to life in Jack’s head...and apparently, Anti heard him too, because the glitch flinched and took a step back. Not enough to let go of Jack, but enough to let him have some air. Anti’s grin faded and he looked...oddly tense, as far as Jack could tell from his spinning vision. He coughed, tried to warn Sam, tried to get him to leave.

“S̮t͈a̙y o͈u̪t͗ o͛f͎ t͇h͠i᷉s͆,ͨ S̥a̼m͝.ͦ”

“No! You stay out of it! L-Leave Jack alone! ...please?”

Jack couldn’t see Sam, didn’t know where he was, only knew he was somewhere on the ground, and the thought of him being involved in this at all...it terrified him, more than being alone in the room with Anti. He struggled harder against Anti’s hold. He had to get away, had to...had to keep Sam safe...had to protect...

“...I̛ w͞a᷉s᷄ g͋e͇t̖t̾i̗n' b̎o͡r͘e̴dͤ a̴nͩy͉w᷁a͔y͐.”

And much to Jack’s shock and relief, Anti glitched and distorted, disappearing and reappearing across the room, still in the camera’s view but out of Jack’s reach. Jack let out a hoarse, strangled gasp and crumpled to the ground, coughing, trying to breath, clutching at his throat as though he couldn’t believe he was still alive.

He really, honestly, couldn’t.

Anti let out a dramatic, glitching sigh.

“S͐'͎p̀p̭o̲s͝e̾ I̾'͔l̂lͮ h̒âvͧe̦ ṭa͎ sͥa͓v͈e͈ t̔h᷇e͇ f᷀u̯n̲ u̮n̥t̜i͏l̈́ n͢e᷆x̐t᷉ ṫỉmͥe͑,ͪ J̱a᷁c̹ǩa̱b̘o᷄yͨ~”

The glitch shot one last, giggling grin at the camera, the vanished with a flurry of distorted pixels.

“...Jack? J-Jack, are you okay?”

Jack nodded mutely, still struggling to find his breath, to find his voice.

‘Yeah. Thanks Sam. I think you might have saved my life.’

Sam preened at the words, his worries fading away in favor of a few happy squeaks and a little cuddling against Jack’s leg. Jack smiled softly. He raised his head, eyes locking on the computer, on the desk. The stream.

Oh, fuck, the stream–

Jack scrambled to his feet, scooping Sam up as he went and tucking him in his hoodie pocket, careful to keep him out of sight of the camera. He stumbled over to the desk and dragged his chair back to where it was supposed to be, dropping into it and staring into the lens. He opened his mouth - and he couldn’t think of what to say. His entire body was still pulsing with terror, his hands shaking horribly and his eyes twitching nervously as though he was sure Anti was still hiding in the corners of the room. Jack, for once in his life, was utterly speechless.

He had almost been killed.

He had almost died.

If Sam hadn’t been there, he was certain he would have.

And suddenly it was like everything came collapsing down on him at once, the adrenaline wearing off and giving way to the shock and the fear and the overwhelming emotions that accompanied a near-death experience. He shuddered and buried his face in his hands, knowing full well he was being watching, knowing full well that thousands of people were witnessing his breakdown.

“...s-sorry,” he finally managed. The word was mangled and hoarse and came out a little wheezy. “Sorry you...s-saw...fuckin’ hell...”

It was with a shaking breath and shaking shoulders that he forced himself to look up at the screen, his eyes seeking out the livestream chat.

» Holy shit did you see that?!

» Guys I don’t think that was fake, look at Jack

» Dude Jack are you okay?!?

» That looked real. Holy fuck how did they make it look so real????

» Look at him, he looks so scared

» Ohmygod Jack! Are you okay?

» That was some amazing editing, holy shit I’m dying

» JACK! TALK TO US! PLEASE LET US KNOW YOU’RE OKAY!

» He looks absolutely terrified, I don’t think he’s faking it, I think that really happened

» Guys look at the marks on his neck

» OH MY GOD I CAN’T BELIEVE I JUST SAW THAT HOW DID HE DO THAT WHAT THE FUCK

» Jack? Are you alright? Please say you’re alright, I’m so worried about you!

Jack took a breath, then another, a half-hearted, shaking smile making its way onto his features.

“I’m alright,” he assured them, knowing he sounded like hell and knowing it was half a lie. “Jus’...just a little shaken, is all. I’ll be–” He broke off with a cough, wincing. “...I’ll be f-fine. Just need ta rest fer awhile. I dunno if I’ll be able to scream for ya for a few days. Heh...”

He tried to lighten the mood with a joke, and while it seemed to calm some of the chat, knowing he could still be humorous after that, many were still worried.

“...I’m...I’m gonna end the stream here, I think. Sorry for cuttin’ it short.”

And after a quick, and much quieter, goodbye, Jack turned off his camera. He sank back into his seat, eyes closed, and dragged both shaking hands down his face. What...what the hell was he supposed to do now...? Sam made a quiet questioning noise from his pocket and his breath caught, pulse skyrocketing. Sam...Sam could’ve gotten hurt. He, Jack, could have died, and–

–and suddenly he was out of his seat, staggering from the room and finding his way to the bathroom, turning on the faucet. It took him almost three tries to do it, his other hand clutching the basin like his life depending on it. Then he was splashing water in his face. Trying not to throw up. Trying to calm himself down. Because if anything was going to prove to him that Anti was real, what had happened tonight certainly did it.

Jack didn’t even bother eating dinner or changing into pajamas. It took everything he had to make it to his bedroom, and once he was there he curled up, shaking beneath the covers, his phone flung to the other side of the room, Sam curled up against his chest. He couldn’t even trust technology anymore. Anti had only ever shown up in videos. He had only ever shown up while Jack was at his computer. And, perhaps, during that phone call with Mark where his perfectly-unbroken phone had shocked him. So despite the buzzing he could hear across the room, despite the number of times he saw the screen light up, no way in hell was he going to answer it. He wasn’t going to risk it.

Jack ignored it, and he ignored the rest of the world...and now, here, alone in the dark with Sam as his company, he finally let himself break. A strangled sob broke free from his damaged throat and he cried, actually openly cried, for the first time in a very, very long time.

[A/N] ...sorry? ^^;

Also find the latest chapters of this story on [Archive Of Our Own]

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#SamLives #Sam Lives #Jacksepticeye #Antisepticeye #JSE #JSE Fanfic #Jacksepticeye Fanfic #Sam Septiceye #Sam #Anti #Jack #Robin #Chapters #5 #The Livestream

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Okay I know that kingdom hearts has a bad reputation for sticking crucial plot information on obscure spinoff games but HOLY SHIT I just finally watched a lets play of the fuckin digimon tcg game and found out it ACTUALLY HAS A GODDAMN CONCLUSION TO ANALOGMAN FROM DIGIMON WORLD 1

like 90% of the damn game has no plot whatsoever let alone indicating its a digimon world sequel! and then suddenly in the last battle without being foreshadowed whatsoever analogman returns and gets possibly the best boss battle ever IN A GODDAMN TCG GAME

holy shit his whole fight is framed as ‘this is literally the same guy from digimon world 1, hacking another game’, the interface wigs out and a bunch of fake command windows pop up with rapidly scrolling code of the game supposedly falling apart. And then his boss battle flips the entire gameplay system on its head by giving him fourth wall breaking special moves that pull overpowered effects by “hacking the engine”, with cool animations to fit. Fuckin badasssss!!

and it also fuckin FINALLY EXPLAINS THE DAMN PLOT LIKE GEEZ

digimon world’s conclusion was so rushed, you never even meet the villain until the final battle and it ends all weird with just “something” going wrong that causes him to get sucked into a portal or something while screaming dramatically in weirdly high resolution terror faces??? the tcg game confirms that this was him attempting to flee back to the human world after you defeated him, but one of the stray attacks from the battle damaged his machine and it caused him to essentially commit accidental suicide when he turned it on.

and HOLY SHIT MY FUCKIN OBSCURE HEADCANON IS TRUE????

the game had some sequel bait hints that maybe analogman is somehow still around and that the portal explosion just turned him into “corrupted data” so he can never return to the human world. and i always thought it would be super ironic if he actually got turned into a digimon aka the thing he hates more than anything

WELL OKAY I GUESS CRITICAL LORE IN A TCG GAME IS OKAY WHEN ITS A BIG YES BUNNI U THEORY BE CORRECT

he appears in this game as a malomyotismon who does a damn good vexen face during the fight, lol. And he’s all “gahh that stupid kid ruined my plans but this accursed body at least improved my hacking abilities!” Tho its implied that his corrupted state is more like a bodyless cloud of data that can possess/copy different digimon, which would be REALLY FUCKIN CRITICAL to explaining the goddamn plot of Digimon World Next Order!

Seriously wtf is up with this series? Digimon World 2 is not the sequel to Digimon World 1, all the numbered games are entirely separate individual stories with wildly different genres from pet sim to roguelike strategy. The real sequel is fucking DIGIMON THE CARD GAME THE GAME and then Digimon World Next Order a bazillion years later for the ps4. In which i am STILL REALLY SALTY that they have a FUCKIN RAD remix of analogman’s boss theme yet he doesn’t appear in the game. The added context of this damn tcg game confirms once and for all that the Ambiguous As Fuck Ending actually WAS him appearing in the game, this unexplained “oh wait the villain was good all along and he was just possessed by an evil virus” was supposed to be corrupted-digi-analogman and seriously WHY DONT THEY JUST FUCKIN EXPLAIN IT!!! this tcg game wasnt even released in europe!! and even american fans probably had no clue it was linked to this entirely separate subseries! You have to friggin piece it together with context clues like the battle music and the fact analogman’s signature mon was machinedramon. I mean vjesus christ Next Order is a litera; sequel with the grown up version of Digimon World’s protagonist as a badass home ec teacher who still defends the digital world in his free time yet you couldnt spare ONE LINE OF DIALOGUE mentioning the name of the villain?? and summarizing the fuckin tcg game everyone missed??? AND CONFIRMING THAT THE VILLAIN IS INDEED MAKING A REAPPEARANCE POSSESSING THIS GUY??? oh god everything makes SENSE, thank you terrible card game adaptation. ehh but i do still love Next Order for making Hiro/Mameo’s canon partner Mamemon, he’s even more badass as this big tough bishie version of himself with a tiny adorable pal that can shoot rocket fists through space and time. (its funny tho cos the DW1 intro movie showed metalmamemon and metalgreymon and the american boxart flipped a coin and decided metalgreymon must have been the one the protagonist was using in that scene. Whoops!)

anyway even with the added context that IT WAS INDEED GODDAMN ANALOGMAN, the final boss fight in Next Order was as terrible as the rest of the plot. So I’m glad trash gramps got a suitably badass boss fight after all, even if it was a CARD GAME VERSION! lets all celebrate the awesomeness of this obscure fuckin spinoff game’s obscure fuckin intercontinuity cameo with the boss fight music that other game wasted

seriously fuckin hell the biggest challenge in that final boss was that i was so distracted by SHEER OFFENDEDNESS at the cool music not matching it that it was hard to keep focused

its not just a great boss theme for a terrible boss, its a really fuckin EMOTIONAL song for anyone whose childhood was fuckin defined by the first game!!!

and look you had a PERFECT FUCKIN EXCUSE for a REALLY GOOD boss battle against MY MAN GRUMPY GRANDPA OF THE COOL DAMN NAME. Seriously guys analogman was THE FIRST digimon villain! digimon world came out before the anime, digimon world was the BETA FOR THE ANIME! this was the first place they had the ideas for file island, so much of the areas in the game are awkwardly mistranslated versions of stuff that would later appear in the anime in a different form. before this digimon had never been anything more than a fuckin 2-bit graphics tamagotchi and this was (after the manga) only the second goddamn time these monsters had an actual full colour character design! all of those charmingly janky 90s gross out show styled tcg illustrations? that was concept art that this game was working from! fuckin hell this game thought up the idea for metalgreymon’s changed design that ended up becoming the iconic partner of tai in the anime. (you can also see beta tai in the manga with a beta veemon as a partner instead! o_O)

SO LIKE...

JUST....

I HAVE FEELINGS ABOUT ANALOGMAN OKAY!!! he’s a badly written guy with only like five sentences across all the videogames but fuckin hell he was such an Iconique part of the development of this series that they named him fucking ANALOGMAN

like dude you could have SO EASILY made me scream at my tv in a more positive way by bringing him out as the surprise villain and showing us wtf his deisgn is even supposed to look like cos god all we have is a blurry faceless early ps1 model buried under the glow filters of Mt Infinity’s funky background effects.

AND FUCKING

IF IT IS CANON

THAT MY FUCKIN

STUPID THEORY

IS CANON

slap a fuckin O on this man and LITERALLY LET ME BEAT HIM UP

like dont even give him a team or anything, just let me fight THE MAN HIMSELF

you canonically fuckin said he’s a digital ghost now and basically the same as a digimon

let me beat the shit out of a regular businessman in a suit and tie while he pulls his badass ‘i’m hacking the game i’m in’ bullshit from the GODDAMN TCG GAME THAT WAS MORE CLIMACTIC THAN YOUR SHITTY CASH GRAB FAKE SEQUEL

man god i didnt expect a fuckin TCG GAME to revive my righteous fury from back when i first played that piece of shit. i hate it cos Next order is so pretty and its gameplay is so good and i really loved my twin digis but there were SO MANY bugs and cut corners and missing content and really bad writing and GOD it made me so sad that the dub team really really tried, they tried so hard that they got fuckin renamon’s original voice actress back even though the renamon in this game has nothing to do with the anime one. THE DUB WAS REALLY GOOD BUT IT COULDNT SALVAGE THAT SCRIPT!! THE MUSIC WAS REALLY GOOD AND THE ART WAS REALLY GOOD AND THE DIGIMON THEMSELVES WERE MY BEST DAMN FRIENDS FOR THAT MONTH OF MY LIFE BUT THE GODDAMN FUCKIN SCRIPT!!! the postgame was MORE FUN because FINALLY everything opened up like the sandbox of the first game and you could just fuckin hug u digis without being distracted by constant cutscenes butchering your childhood nostalgia

man i wanted to write a fic/draw a comic about my headcanons on how to fix it but i never managed to do it cos holy shit it was basically “throw everything out and make a different game geez” I COULD RAMBLE FOR HOURS ABOUT THE ENTIRELY DIFFERENT SEQUEL THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN!! and a fuckin!! tcg game!! was closer to that sequel!!!

and fuckin MY THEORY WAS RIGHT AND MY BETTER GAME IDEA ACTUALLY WOULD WORK IN CANON

fuck it im gonna do draw myself decking business gramps in the face

oh! and the female protagonist design! thats another rare good part of that thing! i loved the pixellization effect on her ponytal, way better than the male equivelant having a very ordinary costume design just with a pixel corner taken out of his jacket. also why did the plot never actually make a thing out of that? like you’d think that ‘unlike every other digimon tamer i’ve got this scar of my digitization’ would be a plot point. like they didnt give everyone else a cool pixel squares mark! they could have at least used it as an excuse why the protagonist is the Only Chosen One who can do all this plot shit. or if it was me i would have made it early foreshadowing for the Return Of Business Gramps, like you were partially infected by the Oooo Mysterious Unexplained Digi Virus (seriously why did they not just have ONE SENTENCE explaining its the fuckin original villain returning????) during the prologue and i dunno somehow that gives you powers to break analogman’s control on the digimon he possesses. or maybe the pixel thing is like a tracking device he put on you? or just give that cool design trait to the protagonist of digimon cyber sleuth instead, whose entire plot is that theyre a digimon human hybrid with literaly the power to pixellize themself into computers.

ALSO!!! actually do something!!! with mameo!!!

they really fuckin hyped up in all the prelease materials that the digimon world 1 protagonist was gonna be in this game and he’s all grown up now. and then he does NOTHING in the plot except babble exposition and stand around your home base. and has one line about how he’s a badass teacher now and his partner is mamemon but hey we made a bullshit excuse for why his digimon is sealed away and he never gets to fight :<

give me an actual cool teamup of new protag girl and her cool teacher dude beating the shit out of business trash with their bare fists and also their digimon’s bare fists while THE BEST DAMN MUSIC GOES UNWASTED

...fuck i sure do Feel Intensely about nostalgic games lol. i wonder if i’ll be so rambley when i play kh3? maybe itd be a really shitty lp, aaagh...

#no gramps shall go unappreciated in the bunni house