#actually you know what. fuck it I'm gonna overshare about this a bit.

[soupbtch]

ummm. my fic is done.

#I mean it still needs a bit of editing but like after almost four months #the hell (writing) is finally over #it's clocking in at around 61k words rn and im tired #time to relax ((cry)) #actually you know what. fuck it I'm gonna overshare about this a bit. #I've never written fic before #and besides that - this is the first thing I've sat down to write seriously in about ten years #and ten years ago I was just writing poetry and papers for college #(I don't mean 'just' in a bad way - I only mean that it's been a very different experience for me personally) #very protective over this fic in that it's been sitting in my lap and in my brain for a few months and I don't want to give too much away #so I've deliberately been vague with the marketing of it. because I want people to read and be surprised and experience it firsthand. #and I know it's supposed to be self-indulgent and writing should be about the process and not the results but #I hope people read it??? I've poured my soul into this thing. a bit. a lot. and I'm a simple creature who craves validation. #it's very personal yet at the same time I feel like I haven't done anything new or groundbreaking which. okay it's self-doubt saturday so. #I should ignore that feeling. anyyyyyyyyway. #I hope to post the first chapter in two weeks. crossing my fingers that I don't abort mission before then aaaaaahahaha #also comparison is the thief of joy etc etc etc #danny.xls #danny writes

[moe-broey]

Although I guess I always am exploring incompatibility and love/learning how to love in the most supportive/accommodating way despite that, but kind of exclusively w family dynamics.

#maybe don't want to overshare at this point LMFAO but. it is important to me. #kind of half reconciling and also half exploration of something beyond me? #like i've actually have never had any problems w my sisters. they've always been really kind and respectful and loving #and very aware of my boundaries. #hng. iffy territory here NOT gonna talk too much LMFAO #but what i do want to acknowledge is how. it's almost a bit of autistic wish fulfillment? #where i have never really been physically affectionate w my siblings and don't really have any desire to be #beyond like. circumstancial instances of 'i missed you' or 'i'm hurting' #so it's interesting to imagine the inverse of that and also how it looks in different ways. #like hcing sharena to be v touchy feely and hcing corrin to be v physically/verbally affectionate #and imagining how the other half who's more adverse to being touched/doesn't know what to do w affection works through it #and imagining how both will ultimately have to work through it together. #i guess i just. have little to no interest or maybe even discomfort about exploring that outside of family ties. #you can always just leave! hit the bricks! fuck outta here!!! YIPPEEE 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉 #which is true for blood family as well but. not for me unfortunately LMFAOOO i'm here bc i chose to be. #anyways. i've had enough of this guy fucking explode him to smithereens 🫵💥💥💥🔥🔥🔥🔥‼️‼️‼️

[hyuuukais]

-`♡´ - APARTMENT 143

pairing -> lee minho x fem reader

synopsis -> after a bad breakup, y/n needs to find a new place to live. although she's grateful for her best friend, up-and-coming model hwang hyunjin, for letting her stay at his, she can't keep living with him and his model roommates. so when an opening for somewhere nearby with cheap rent opens up, she jumps on it, despite knowing next to nothing about the 3 other tenants, only that one owns 3 cats. the three quickly learn of her breakup, determined to help get her back on her feet. but what happens when one of them begins to develop feelings?

warnings -> general, y/n gets told she talks too much kind of, discussion abt cheating

MASTERLIST | PREVIOUS | NEXT

CHAPTER THREE -> AM I IN? (partially written! wc:546)

"...and then, after telling him how much I love him, he comes out of our shared- yes, shared- bedroom with another woman! Can you believe that? I pour my heart and soul to this man, and he just steps all over it! Them? My heart and my soul, so, yeah, I guess them. Sorry, what was the question again?"

"...what do you do for work?" The guy on the right side of the couch says, arms crossed.

You blink. "Right! I'm a graphic designer for a website."

"What website?" Beomgyu leans back, arms behind his head.

"This Just In!" You say excitedly, passionate about your work. "I'm trying to move into the journalism area as well. I'd love to be able to interview some of the people we do, but my boss didn't seem very keen to the idea yet."

"How come?" The one in the middle asks.

"He says I talk too much." A sudden wave of emotion hits you. "My boyfriend says the same."

"Ex-boyfriend."

"What?"

"Your ex-boyfriend." It's the one on the right again, eyes piercing into you; you can't hold his gaze.

"Right." You clasp your hands in your lap. "Maybe I've overshared a bit to you guys. I don't even know your names-" You point at the two.

"Han," the middle one offers. "Well, Jisung, but most people call me Han."

"Minho." You still can't look at him.

"Okay. Um, so, unless you have any other questions...?"

"Yeah, actually," Minho speaks. "What's your current living situation?"

"Oh! I'm living with my best friend, Hyunjin, and his roommates. But they're all models and it can be a bit... dramatic." You laugh nervously.

"Models?" Han sits up straight, looking at his two roommates. "What are the others like?"

"There's Felix, a literal sunshine, and Yeonjun and Wooyoung. They're usually the ones causing drama." You laugh again, this time more naturally. "Wooyoung just came back from a business trip, so I'm gonna be staying in my other best friend's, NingNing, she's amazing and I love her, apartment until she comes back. She's also a model... I'm friends with a lot of models."

"Do you mind stepping out for a second?" Han says with a smile. Your stomach drops. "I just need to discuss something with my roomies here."

"Y-yeah, okay." Quickly, you pick up your bag and head to the door, only stumbling a little bit.

Of course, you press an ear to the door once outside. If they don't want you, at least you'll know before they tell you to your face. Then maybe you won't cry at the news. The thick wooden door makes it hard to hear, only picking out bits and pieces.

"Dude, her best friend is a model-"

"Han, I swear to God-"

"She does talk a lot-"

"Like you're one to talk-"

"Okay, but with the breakup? Won't she be, like, crying all the time-"

"Hey, Min just went through a breakup too, so maybe she can help him with it-"

"Shut up-"

"Back to her best friend being a fucking model-"

A loud sigh signals you should back up, taking your phone out and pretending to be busy. The door opens, Minho in front of the other two looking more tired than before you left.

"You're in."

notes -> what is with me making idols i love into shitty exs like what is with that genuinely

taglist -> @chaeryred @toplinelix @channie-143 @puppyminnnie @tfshouldidohere @kangaracha @chlodavids @whitney190 @thisisnotjacinta @borahae-reads @brooklynie @gini143 @kayleigh-28 @skz-streamer @babyphotos0325 @scallywag1299 @venusmoonxnight @naomisosoup @fertiliezedtoesw @s00buwu @realrintaro @anothershorthuman @skzstaykatsy @ilovejeongin007 @btswestan @taeriffic @ihrtlix @raehawthorne @euphoric-univers @hyperpixie @evermourning @satsuri3su @jazziwritesthings @minhwa @wyzminho @fic-for-readers

^^^ orange means i can't tag you

#-`♡´ - APARTMENT 143 #lee minho x reader #lee minho x fem reader #lee know x reader #lee know x fem reader #skz #stray kids #skz fic #stray kids fanfic #skz smau #lee know smau #lee minho smau #smau #stray kids smau #social media au

[lover-of-mine]

Your last post is funny bc just TODAY I watched that season finally. I’m literally 2 episodes into season 5 right now. As someone who just watched that for the first time (and hadn’t noticed it WAS the season finally when I started watching it) I was losing my goddamn MIND watching those episodes. Just constantly 😯😯😯. I began watching 911 when I started seeing posts circulating about Buck being bi. At the time I had no idea who he was other than the occasional gif set but it made me intrigued and I have been HOOKED. Literally trying to get through as many episodes as possible so I can watch the episodes live. Questions for you (since I have no one else to talk to about the show); when did you start watching? Have you had any predictions while watching the show that didn’t/ did come true? Like for me when I watched season 1 and Abby went to the fire department for the first time I SWORE up and down that her and Bobby were meant to be endgame (was clearly wrong lol). But also after Chris got stuck in the Tsunami I called it that something would happy to Harry later on (just a feeling that no one was safe lol, not even the kids). I’m just so curious to see what the fandom theories have been over time lol since I missed out on it!

Yeah, no, watching suspicion/survivors for the first time is WILD. Like, imma be honest and bit oversharing, I watched the show for the first time in a depressive episode, so I watched everything up to 5x10 in like, 6 days according to the posts I made on Tumblr about it, so I didn't realize theorize about anything, I was just hitting next episode like my life depended on it. But I didn't know anything about the show, like, at all, I had just watched 911 lone star in a weekend because it was on the tv and there were only like, 20 episodes of it out it at the time and a network in my country was just showing all of them on a loop, and I opened the Disney app fully intending to rewatch grey's anatomy, and 911 was the first show on my recommended to you list, and I had liked lone star enough, and was like sure why not. And I legit couldn't stop watching. All of this happened the week before 5x11 aired on the us, so 5x11 was the first episode I watched like "live" (the first episode I actually watched live was 5x16) but I watched it in the same week, I think I finished on a Tuesday? And the episode aired on Monday. I can't really give you any theories I have witnessed so far because they would be spoilers tho, but if you wanna come back once you catch up we can talk about some of the madness that goes around here. But I had the same thing happen to me, I didn't realize it was the season finale, and I didn't know anything about the show, so I had no idea what was happening, and I thought I had learned my lesson with the tsunami arc, because I watched 3x01 at like 3 am fully saying this is the last episode I will watch and then I'm gonna go to bed, and then the tsunami hit, and I was like well fuck and then Chris fell in the water and next thing I know is 5 am and Eddie is making me cry at the end there. But I saw the 13 and didn't realize the season only had 14 episodes and then everything kept happening. I seriously cannot imagine what it was like to be forced to wait a week between those 2 episodes it was SO CRAZY. When Eddie got shot I legit froze. Watching that for the first time not knowing it's coming is SOMETHING. I do remember thinking that they were gonna kill Shannon but I didn't expect to be right, I also remember clocking that Jason was Doug pretty fast. Something funny tho, I remember posting that meme that's like "I've had blank for 1 day and a half but if anything happened to him I'd kill everyone in this room and myself" with Buck and I waited until I had been watching for a day and a half, that means I posted it while watching the season 2 finale. I hit post and the truck blew up and I legit went like ????????? and that is still the most ironic thing that ever happened to me while posting about 911 kspskspkspakapkapa (here's the post, I actually came back to edit the tags because I was in shock lol) and I laugh every time I remember that lol but I'm glad you're enjoying the show, you can come back to talk to me about it any time!;

#i feel very luck to not know whats coming never in this show #i mean #we did know a few things with promos and stuff but like #i never had any major spoiler going into any episode for the first time and i love that #anon 😌 #i really need a tag for asks #911

[halfwild]

15 questions for 15 (or so!) friends!

tagged by @euphcme!! ty cleo!!

are you named after anyone? nah, my parents just flipped through a baby book until they found a name they agreed on. i was close to being named taylor, but ultimately they decided against it because then my initials would be the same as my siblings and they wanted us to be easily distinguishable by just initials. for my middle name, which i won't say what it is cuz it's not a typical "middle name", my mom said she just chose one that was more traditional to kind of offset the more trendy first name. that way, if i grew up and didn't like how popular haley was, i could go by my middle name instead

when was the last time you cried? i have a goldfish memory so i have no idea, but it was surely this week and probably over something really dumb like i stubbed my toe or read a sad fanfic honestly.... it luckily Has Not Been That Serious for me lately (knock on wood), so no big reasons to cry and just silly ones and for this i am very grateful!!

do you have kids? i am not mentally stable or financially secure enough for a child rn, but i do think i might want them later on (esp if i find a loving partner who agrees). i personally think that, at 25, i am too young to have kids (i know people my age are parents, but it completely baffles and scares me), so it's not something i'm gonna put too much thought into until i'm in my 30s. 30 is also, coincidentally, the age i'll be when my iud expires (unless the fda approves it for longer), so i am fully Not Worrying About It Yet 😌 thats for future haley to hem and haw about. current haley is vibing with 0 responsibilities over other living breathing human beings

what sport do you play / have played? i have never actually played a sport... my parents made me try so many when i was a kid, but i would literally throw fits and scream until they let me quit. i did play recreational tennis for a little bit and i always want to go back to it cuz i still have the racquet, but i don't currently have anyone to play with!

do you use sarcasm? absolutely. it became a problem at work (reported to HR cuz someone thought i was serious), so i have to really try and contain myself in professional settings 🙃

what's the first thing you notice about people? hair! then style/fashion, demeanor, and general age range. if they're in my age range and i'm otherwise attracted to them, the very next thing i always check is their hands bc i lovveeeeeee hands (rings, tattoos, nail polish 🤍)

what's your eye color? like a denim blue/gray with green/gold/hazel central heterochromia (prev also has CH which is very cool, hey twin!)

scary movies or happy endings? 90% of all media i consume has a happy ending and i rarely watch scary movies except at halloween, so happy endings!! give me that HEA or give me death!!!!

any talents? oversharing and never shutting the fuck up or being able to read a room 🤍 no but fr, i can play the flute if i choose to (which i rarely do bc i live in an apartment and do not want my neighbors to Crucify Me). i also embroider/cross stitch, but that may be more of a hobby? i do write very well, and i love it so so so much, but finding motivation and time is nearly impossible for me lately. i have absolutely been having a quarter life crisis about the fact that i am neglecting almost every creative outlet in my life due to burnout - would love to get back to it and learn how to sew since i need to learn how to alter my clothing as off-the-rack does not fit nor flatter my body... tall chubby girl problems frfr

where were you born? take a map of the usa, put a pin in a place you would never want to go, and you're probably semi-close!

what are your hobbies? reading and listening to music are the biggies. if i have any downtime at all, i will usually be reading. i cancelled all my streaming services bc i literally was not using them since i'm always reading instead... libby app and my kindle are my beloveds 🤍 and for music, i literally netted like... 190,000+ minutes on my spotify wrapped last yr bc the only times im NOT listening to music are when im sleeping or if im doing something that prevents me from listening to music (like a meeting at work where i have to actively participate). i also like to build lego sets! but i don't have room for any more of them tbh my apartment is FULL up on stuff since it's soooo tiny and i took in a lot of my grandma's stuff after she died since i couldn't bear parting with it, so i have 0 room now. next time i want to build one, i'll just have to take apart and then redo one instead of get a new one

do you have any pets? unfortunately no, but i would love a cat! a little afraid to get one for two reasons tho. 1) i have never Had a pet before and am afraid of doing wrong by the little baby, and 2) i Was attacked by a cat a few years ago and am still a little afraid of them. i have a friend whose cat is VERY aggressive (lots of biting, scratching, jumping on and attacking them) and i would not do well with a cat like that and would want a more mellow cat (they can playfight with me occasionally of course, but i could not deal with the near-constant attacking my friend endures. it would absolutely freak me out). but, since you can't really know a cats personality until you get them home and acclimated to the new environment and owner, there's no guarantee i wouldn't get a cat i'd be afraid of, so i've held off on adopting for now. i keep hoping i will get blessed by the cat distribution system and they will give me a cat they know will mesh with me, since i know cats like that exist. my siblings cat is literally the sweetest baby and has never hurt, scratched, bit, or attacked them before and just snuggles or ignores them and that is the kind of cat i would need. @ the universe..... please....

how tall are you? 5'8.5/174cm almost exactly. if i'm talking to a man, i round down and tell him i'm 5'8 but if i'm talking to a woman i round up and say i'm 5'9 (gotta impress the ladies with my height, gotta humble the 5'10 man who said he's 6'0 and is now upset he's so close in height to me when i'm 5'8)

favorite subject in school? english, science, and history! but i was a total nerd and loved every class tbh

dream job? novel writer! but writing is so difficult for me lately since my job is so draining of all my time and mental energy that even when i have free time, i can't bring myself to do anything other than rot or read and listen to music. but, i can't quit my job to write bc i cant afford to live w/o my job, so for the time being, my bestselling debut novel that will get a movie deal and change my life for the better, making me vastly wealthy and enabling me to continue writing at my leisure, is still stuck inside my head

I truly cannot think of 15 people to tag in this cuz it is very, very late and i am very, very tired but i will tag.... 3 people rn and edit it if i think of more later!! no hard feelings if you don't want to do this, but i'd love to read your responses if you do 🤍

@lastparty @ratatouiile @lvagirl

#🤍 #i love talking about myself and oversharing on the internet tbh its a problem #give me a tag game that asks for my ssn next and i may just give it to you #tag games

[saigonharrington]

Movies - Steve Harrington fanfic

word count: 2,3k category: fluff/angst warnings: cursing, crying

and a couple of old movies' references

i'm actually scared how quicky I wrote it and how emotional i was during some of the moments. enjoy! and don't forget to reblog as it helps me grow ♥ -> want to request something? <--> have an idea for the next superache fanfic? <-

—————

Working at Family Video quickly became a boring, mundane task for Steve. The only things excluded from the routine were his conversations with Robin. As the days flew by, they felt like they overshared a lot and created way too many weird games to keep themselves busy. But Steve had something, or rather someone else in his mind that made him busy. He started to space out a lot since the first day he saw you at his workplace. To say he was head over heels with you was an understatement. The boy became obsessed quickly, hearing how you talked to yourself while picking movies.

He either was too stunned to speak around you or said the most stupid things ever, only embarassing himself again and again.

"Hey Dingus, whatcha doin?" Robin approached him while he was trying to sort films on the shelves. "Your girl hasn't been here in ages, when do you think she's gonna come?"

"That's not my girl" He replied confused and afraid that you might ener the door right now and hear everything.

"Well it's the only girl beside me that you talk to lately. Where did your womanizer attitude go? All the girls from the Hawkins are waiting. Oh wait, half of them has already reject you."

"Hey! That was rude. I'm just too busy for dates. I have things to do, I have a job, kids that need to be taken care of. You know, usual stuff."

"I think there's still space for a girlfriend. You just need to think before you start opening that stupid mouth of yours."

"Thank's for the advice Robin. I'm obviously gonna listen to you becouse you are the romance expert and have a girlf... oh wait. You don't"

"Don't come at me! I just want to help. What do we know about... what's her name again?

"Y/N. Isn't it beautiful? I swear I haven't heard of anyone with that name from here. She's extraordinary."

"Yeah yeah okay. Let's start with simple things that we can figure out. What genre of movies is she into?"

Steve was a little embarassed, but he went to the counter and pulled out a little piece of paper. "I actually keep a list of the movies she rented..."

"You psycho! That's a bit too much of an obsession. Cute, but also TOO MUCH. So, what did she watch lately?" Robin seemed to change her attitude every ten seconds, but she wanted to be the best wing(wo)man to her best friend. Robin took the list and started analysing it.

"Y/N movies list:

"Grease" "Annie Hall" "Harold and Maude" "Breakfast at Tiffany's" "The shop around the corner" "His girl Friday" "Roman holiday" "What's up, Doc?"

"I've been meaning to watch them but it's so hard to watch every single one..." Steve felt the urge to explain himself as the Robin kept staring at the list

"Your girl slash not your girl is a cheesy romantic comedies enjoyer. I think you're fucked up, you're never gonna meet her expectations. Girl has standards, that's what she has. Well, good luck."

"I know, I'm trying. I enjoyed some of them. But every time I try to reference them and compliment her choices it feels like I'm making fun of her and the films. What's wrong with me?"

"That's a whole different story, dingus. Oh look! Here she comes! Alone! It's your time to shine." Robin patted Steve's arm and took a couple of casettes from the shelf to try to look busy and unbothered by your incoming. "Steve, go to her. Recommend her something." She whispered, making sure you can't hear it.

"I'm going. I'm gone, yeah yeah."

"You need to actually move. Do you want me to push you and force you to talk to her? It's going to look awkward. Here I go, your last chance before I'm gonna embarass you."

"Fine, I'm going."

Steve approached you quietly without saying anything. He tried to rehearse his speech in his head, but your silent soliloquy made it hard for him to focus.

"Looking for a romance?" He asked semi-confidently while leaning onto the shelf that moved under his weight. You looked at him confused, frowning, and trying to decipher what he wanted to say. "Shit. I mean, the movie genre. Something with secret pen pals or kissing in the rain?" He added, trying to impress you. "Not today. I came for something different. I think I need something animated."

"Oh, cute. For a date or what?" The words came out of his mouth way too quickly. He stared at you in silence, afraid that you might confirm his predictions."

"Yeah kinda." He almost puked. "If you count babysitting as a date." You smiled at him.

"Don't tell me more! I have been a babysitter once, I mean, more than once, almost every day since... nevermind, you came here to get a movie and I started oversharing out of nowhere."

"No, it's nice. You can talk." You calmed him down by patting his arm. "I'm actually surprised you can tell more than mumble three words. Guess I misjudged you. By the way, I must ask you: Are you making fun of me?"

"What?! No!" He almost screamed "Why do you think so?"

"Every time I come here I hear snarky comments about my movie choices. Is something wrong with me? You referenced couple of them minutes ago, so I assume you've seen them."

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry. They were not supposed to sound like that, these films are great. I just get a little stressed around you and it's a weird uncommon feeling that I have never felt before and that's why I'm babbling whatever comes to my mind. Actually, nothing comes here because my mind is a blank space but anyway I do like these movies I think I saw Roman Holiday more than once and..."

"Stop talking," You looked at his badge to note his name. "Steve. I'm quite happy to meet another romance movies enjoyer. People say that it's cheesy but I consider them realistic. I'd love to hear your opinion. Which should I borrow the next time I come here?"

"I think you saw every romantic comedy that we have here. But I'd love to debate with you tomorrow evening, maybe by the milkshake...?" He scratched his head waiting for your reaction.

"Have you been stalking me, Steve? How can you tell what have I watched?" You made a pause. "But I'd love to meet you tomorrow, since today I'm babysitting. So, see you?" Steve nodded his head, pulling off the best smile that he could.

"Thanks for coming to Family Video, glad that we could help you."

And that's how it all started.

From one date to another, you immediately fell in love with him, thinking of him as a perfect match. The relationship was still fresh, you were in 'the honeymoon phase' enjoying every minute with each other, watching your favorite movies, and imagining yourselves as the characters. Today was your one-month relationship anniversary and everything has been planned out perfectly. You were supposed to go to an amusement park dressed up as Danny and Sandy, but Steve was late.

You were preparing yourself for hours, only to find yourself waiting at the bench near your house. Seconds turned to minutes, and minutes turned to hours. You wanted to be patient, and understanding. You even romanticised this moment, thinking that maybe he's stuck at workplace desperately wanting to get out and see you, or he finished late and is preparing himself now. The thought of him doing his hair while humming the grease soundtrack and cursing every lock of hair that wasn't cooperating with him and his hair gel was making you smile through the tears. But he wasn't coming and you've grown too tired and resigned to try justifying his absence.

You came home after three hours of waiting, careful not to be seen by your parents. The last thing you wanted is for them to see you cry, especially after the boy they adored.

After shutting your door you fell on your bed, not changing your clothes or wiping the make-up that you have worked on for so long. You just didn't have the energy to do that.

You fell asleep almost immediately, trying to erase the events from the day. But in the middle of the night, you heard your door opening and someone entering through. "Y/N I'm so sorry I'm that late. I know we were supposed to go to that amusement park but I got stopped by Nancy and you know that crazy Vecna shit is happening and we had some stuff to figure out... are you awake? What's with the face? Why do you look like that?"

"I don't know, why do you think my face is looking like that? Maybe because I waited for you for like 4 hours and you never came? So I decided to cry myself to sleep? Have you thought of that? Or maybe I realised that everything is wrong! Why didn't you tell me that you have things to do! That you were too busy to spend some time with me on our anniversary?"

"Y/N please calm down. I said I'm sorry. I want to make it up to you. Let's take care of you and wash that pretty face. You need to hear me out before jumping into conclusions."

"What did I misunderstand that time? I know weird things are happening in Hawkins, I'm not a baby, Steve. Why do you always exclude me from this narrative? Why can't I get involved?" You cried while wiping your face because of arguing and because wiping things off mixed with tears was hurting you.

"It's dangerous, Y/N. I don't want you to get hurt. It's not the best time to explain everything."

"When's the time? Don't play the 'overprotective' card right now! Love's nothing like the movies! I thought I would be giggling and shit but you left me all by myself. Don't you think that it's dangerous for you too? Or for Nancy?! Seems that you two can manage but I'm the damsel in distress? I should have known. I should have known, Steve."

"What do you mean by that? What do you imply? Is it bad now that I want you to be safe? Don't be ridiculous."

"No! You don't be! Can't you see what it looks like? Open your eyes, Steve. For the last seven days, you have always abandoned me for the sake of solving 'the Vecna thing'. But why's it always you and Nancy? Nancy! Your ex-girlfriend who you seem not to be over with. For fuck's sake, leave me alone. Just say that you got bored of me and go. I'll understand. I'm no longer a movie enjoyer."

"I love you Y/N! I want to protect you, I'm sorry I didn't understand what it looks like from your point of view. You can get involved. I want you there if that's what you want. I didn't get bored of you, I'd never do that. It's not always me and Nancy, the kids are there, Robin is there, and you can be there too. I'm so so sorry. I'll never do that again." He touched your arm to calm you down. Seeing that you didn't walk away he hugged you and continued his monologue. "I'm a terrible boyfriend. But isn't it just like the movies? The climax point where everything gets so intense and the main characters are arguing or having some kind of problem to solve? Life is like the movies. Maybe not always romantic comedies, but we're obviously something with a happy end. Danny and Sandy ended up together after all, didn't they? I love you like the movies. Crazy, obsessed like I meet you for the first time every day. You're the smell of the strawberry milkshake that we shared on the first day. The rain surprising us when riding a Vespa. The paper and the pen that we used to pretend that we were secret writing pals. We literally live our movie lives. And it's perfect. The clouds will fade away after today, and I'm gonna make it up to you starting from now. Don't cry, darling. You said you consider romantic movies realistic. Isn't it like that now? We're facing the hardship to get our happily ever after. Think about that. Think how far we came. Let's not waste that. I don't wanna waste that. Do you?"

"Steve you're messing with my head. I don't know. I don't want to break up with you, but the truth is you're my first boyfriend and I don't know how to feel. I don't want to be treated like that. I don't want to be forgotten. I don't want to be excluded from your friends' group. Please talk to me about everything."

"I will, I will, I'm sorry. Don't cry anymore, I don't want to see you like this. Let's go to sleep and talk in the morning. Is your dad home? I hope he won't kill me for sleeping here. But I don't want to leave you again. I will stay. Do you want to take a walk? Or sing you to sleep?

My huckleberry friend Moon river and me"

Steve hummed the song from Breakfast at Tiffany's "I want to kiss away the tears from your face. Please forgive me."

"You talk a lot. And you're very annoying. It's hard to say no to you when you're cupping my face with your hands. My parents are away, they were supposed to leave at night to drive to my grandma's."

"I'm very lucky tonight, damn. And hey, at least I'm not mumbling three words to you. Let's go to sleep. I love you I love you I love you. My little girlfriend from the movies.

#stranger things #steve harrington #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington angst #steve harrington fic #steve harrington x you #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington blurb #steve harrington stranger things

[sp00kygr33n]

I am drunk and sad so I'm gonna vent cause this is my blog and I can do whatever the fuck I want to

(Sorry to interrupt your scrolling)

So like it's christmas fucking eve and like some of my friends went home and they are sending photos of their nice dinners and gifts under the trees and shit and like. I gkt explicitly told to not come to my family's christmas

Not like I wanted to but you know. Rejection hurts even when you try to do rejection first

And like one of my online friends was very sad abot me not getting any gifts really (me and my friends had secret santa at the beggining of the month and I don't want to sound ungrateful but it did feel underwhelming cause my gift didn't even get wrapped it was just in a messed up cardboard box and I did feel a bit hurt but this is so evil of me to think because someone spent their time and money on me I just....)

So like. Gift giving is my primarly love language. When I was a kid, people throwing gifts at me was the only indication they cared about me (even if it was to win a divorce). So I learned early on that if I give someone something, they will know I care about them. I'm bad at showing it otherwise. I keep wishlists for everyone and every time they are like "oh i want xyz!" I will make a note and then I slowly get them things for like birthday or when they're down or when I just have some extra money. I think I perfected gift giving. I will color cooridinate the item and some additional things like candy or face masks or nice candles. I will pick up the expensive shiny wrapping paper. I care so much about giving people gifts. And I think that becuase I couldn't even afford proper food in december, surviving or one serving of plain rice or pasta a day while working 12 hour shifts, I didn't feel the holiday spirit at all cause I failed everyone and couldn't give them gifts. We're all poor, we get it, it just made me devastated cause if I can give people things, how do I stop them from hating me? How do they know I have infinite love and care for them? How do I make them happy??

Idk. I'm just sad.

But I was actually making a point. My friend asked me "if you could have anything today, what would you want?"

My response was a seven minute cuddle session. I don't want to inconvinince people any longer, but I think seven minutes is in the realm of reason when asking, you know? It feels like I could be allowed that much.

And idk I'm just really touch starved. And I want a cuddle. But like the one when I'm being held and shit? Possibly maybe not ignored and maybe if we're getting into the wildest dreams maybe I would want my back to be rubbed for like 34 seconds and I know it is a bit long but yk

Anyway this is probably so stupid and I would probably cry which would make it weird but I was asked if I could had anything, so I responded truthfully

But it feels like such a stupid want. I feel like I should be above that. Am I a child who needs to get a hug? Gods I feel so stupid about it

And I had way too much beer today so I went to talk to my roommates and I just rambled about shit for like two hours and I feel so guilty and stupid cause it was just. So unnecessary and absurd they didn't need to hear me talk. And probably didn't want to, in my mind I just annoyed them so then I proceeded to leave the room and put on my headphones and I had a breakdown and it feels stupid too and i just

Idk

I'm sad and drunk and merry christmas

Sorry for oversharing

I mean it's not like people are going to read this and I kinda feel more stupid now but I guess sending this into the ether gives me some relief yk

Sorry

#spooky speaks #vent post

[safetycar-restart]

LMAO i was NOT feeling well yesterday was i what with casually suggesting i enjoy cannibalism through ?? lemon 🍋 PASTIES ?? whatever that is, but apparently they’re sad in the middle idk fhydvjiytgjkfdgj (my best guess is i was thinking 'bitter' but got confused bc lemons are sour......maybe.....and evidently decided to discard the metaphor midway) (in my defence i spent 4 hours hunched over polishing pretty rings and will probably sneeze silver for a week now)

Offtop oversharing aside, i have seen the post you reblogged for me (which in itself is 🥺🥺🥺 for me ??? like obviously not only just for me but. for me??) and HELLO YES IM GONNA SCREAM WHAT ELSE DID YOU EXPECT ?? imagine seb being so soft and pretty for you and resting his chin on your lap and looking at you with the happiest puppy eyes in the world bc hes so happy to be your good boy, all while kneeling next to you on the floor

ALSO a bit of a tangent but it got me thinking about him sitting in your lap and just. Enjoying it so much. Feeling tiny and safe and cared for, practically like hes in a nest, and hed also try to curl in on himself as much as he can so that he can fit his head under your chin (his curls are gonna tickle, but its mostly fine if he doesnt move around too much) and just hide in your arms from the whole world, safe and sound

Anyway, let me drop in this humble offering while i go write that long task i was mulling over ever since you reblogged that seb+praise gifset (which is a. my favourite gifset and b. i notice everything 👁👁💜)

Love,

Lemon

YES!! I fucking love lemon so much this is perfect. Firstly, I do think you suggested some mild cannibalism but it's okay, we don't judge here.

As for the seb thoughts, this ask is in response to a picture I reblogged of a pretty blond sub kneeling with a collar and leash which of course caused lemon to go insane.

But yes I love these thoughts!!!

Maybe, you actually asked seb to kneel for you? And like, you expect him to kneel with his back to you, as he usually does.

But this time, he just feels so nice and safe and he really wants to keep on looking at you cause you're the one who makes him feel so nice and safe! He can't be blamed for that, he just wants to look at you!!

So when he gets down on his knees, he turns to face you and rests his chin on your knee, looking up at you with a small smile on his face.

Of course you don't berate him for that, if he wants to look up at you while he's kneeling, then he's more than welcome to.

Maybe you play with his hair? And then let your hand slip lower until he can suckle on your fingers? Then he's just as happy as can be.

And on your lap!! Yes!!

You don't like to let him kneel for too long, because you can't risk hurting his knees.

But when you ask him to get up, he starts whining and even looks a little teary eyed. Because he just feels so good right now and he isnt ready for that to end. He wants to stay right where he is.

When you realise why he's getting distressed, you say, "I'm sorry darling, but we cant have you hurting your knees from kneeling for too long. But, why don't you get up here and come sit on my lap?"

He gets up then, because the idea of sitting on your lap is enticing enough to get him to stop kneeling.

And then he's so happy!!!

He feels so safe like that, curled up in your lap. He can hide form the world there. And then you grab a blanket and wrap it around his shoulders and it's even BETTER then.

You know have lapdog for a sub.

#sub!sebastian #sv #gn!reader #🍋

[hot-take-tournament]

sorry if my take sounds deeply incomprehensible i just kept going back on submitting it and knew if i didn’t ramble it all out in one take i was gonna chicken out again LMAO

don't worry about it at all!

i think an incoherent infodump every once in a while is good for the soul!

look, if we're being totally candid -

i have pretty severe adhd comorbid with bipolar disorder, which i do my best to mask - yeah yeah, i know you're not supposed to, but i doubt i'll ever truly shake the shame, especially given the things i've done as a result of failing to mask, both online and irl (the latter being much, much worse) - so i've resolved to do it for the rest of my life

i did talk a little bit about what i was like on my main blog here, which you might need for context:

(speaking of which, please don't actually follow or even go to my main blog just because you like this one - i'm 100% fucking serious. i'm a very different person over there to the point of being almost unrecognisable, even to myself - and i guarantee that side of myself wouldn't recognise me either; we're like two parts of a very fucked up whole. so for that reason i want to keep these two blogs separate; like i said, i'm bipolar, so that's where i let the venom out, and when i feel joyful again, i come back here. i'm more active here anyway, to the point where i basically consider this my main blog now - i mean, my bio isn't even up to date over there)

the point is although i plan to mask for the rest of my life, even i'm partial to an unprompted infodump or oversharing session every once in a while

that's the reason i want this blog to be a safe place for people to vent/infodump/just share their wildest takes anonymously, while still having a little fun by making it a tournament - it's partly to atone in a cringe kinda way, but also because this dumbass site has actually been a huge source of support in some of the darker points in my life

it's almost ironic in a weird way - i spent so much time targeting other people for their mental health problems, but when i had some of my own i came crawling back to those same people. maybe karma does exist lol

no, i didn't ever interact with any of them; but just lurking on their blogs and reading their posts helped normalise what i was going through when i felt so alone after receiving my diagnosis; though it was always in the back of my mind that maybe a year earlier i would've seen those same posts and done my level best to make them feel like shit for it just for the sake of a little dopamine hit

i'm a proud airhead, but i'm not naive - i'm not going to lie to you and say that tumblr is a safe space, partly because nowhere on the internet is safe, partly because i've read some of your takes and they terrify me, but mostly because i'm living proof of how awful this site can be

but i do want to at least create one semi-safe place on the internet after ruining so many other people's

jesus i'm fucking crying that's new lol

anyway sorry for taking your incoherent infodump and exchanging it with one of my own, that's probably more info about me than you ever wanted to know

but i hope this provides a little context for why i decided to start this blog

the point i was actually trying to make, because i'm pretty sure i never actually responded to what you were saying - never feel embarassed to submit anything! trust me, i totally get it; but i promise, even when i make jokes about some unhinged takes, it's all light-hearted, and if it ever comes across otherwise, please let me know! <3 <3 <3

i'm gonna take a quick break, i'll catch up with you all again later

#i'm absolutely serious about what i said about my main blog #that's now a tournament rule #although if you stumble across it in the wild - i've had two posts go viral - i guess it's fine #but strictly no jumping from this blog over to there #tournament updates #asks #tournament info #tumblr

[queerofdenial]

have fun (that is if you actually do this 🤨):

molly cobb

ava daniels

kathryn janeway

judith jones

bestie i hope you have a warm pillow tonight bc having to "least favorite" any of these blorbos hurts

questions are:

favorite thing about them

least favorite thing

brOTP

OTP

nOTP

random headcanon

unpopular opinion

song i associate with them

"here’s to selfish pricks, ‘cause we move the ball forward for mankind."

she's wholly uncompromising about who she is and what shes capable of, but still takes criticism and grows as a person! her confidence and ego are 100% earned and never feel like a Strong Woman Schtick

she had to keep walkin' straight into the destroying thing, didn't she. god damn hero.

i want an entire season of molly and patty mercury 13 backstory

molly x margo would have the best gay enemy sex and i would be so amused (but not as much as molly would) by stoned!margo

honestly don't think there are enough bad ships on famk, i adore wayne

she definitely spent months actively hitting on margo when she started ascan training just to annoy her. she and patty probably placed a bet on it.

she should've been stricter with the guys, and margo was right to fire her

hypnotized by fleetwood mac (second song on my molly x margo playlist)

"...you don't know where a woman gets fingered?"

i love that she's a wreck. i love that she overshares as a way to push people away because in reality she's lonely as hell and scared of true connection. i love that she uses generational stereotypes as jokes for the bit (and to rib at deb) when in reality she could really not give a damn. i love that she does drugs. i love that none of those things change the fact that she's talented and hardworking and fucking thriving. i love that she and i have the same relationship with growing up a gay loser with conservative parents in a new england suburb. i love that she's hot and spreads chocolate on her tiddies when she forgets shes wearing pants.

i hate that shes not real. jk, my least favorite thing is that she cannot for the life of her keep it in the drafts.

carl and hannah get along so well that every time ava and marcus interact i just knoooooow they want to genuinely admit to liking each other. i want more.

avadeb has in fact had my heart from day 1 and that will never change (its not gonna be canon you stupid sluts...ruby's cool too)

ava x not being woken up for breakfast

she's actually allergic to dogs and sucks it up for barry and cara only

unpopular opinion is that i am looking forward to seeing her absolutely thrive in season 3

kitchen light by xana

"There are three things to remember about being a starship captain: keep your shirt tucked in, go down with the ship… and never abandon a member of your crew."

everything about janeway is my favorite thing about janeway, but especially what i said to you the other day about her being a woman and a captain but never feeling like a caricature of either or the other. her leadership feels different than the other pre-disco captains, but it's never tokenism.

she's got a questionable taste in men. also generally too nice to aliens that usually want to kill her.

if they were stuck in the delta quadrant any longer, tom paris would've named his second kid after her (maybe he already did? who knows what went on on that planet)

j7! i'm always a sucker for a former drone x person who gave the drone their name (a shortened version of their designation). also this (x)

sorry mutuals but ch*kotay takes the cake on this one by a mile

she thinks about that puppy q almost gave her pretty often on voyager, and has programmed a dog into every holodeck program she runs. when they get back to earth she adopts one of the puppies her old dog had from her ex. she names it neelix.

she made the right call with tuvix

all the things you are frances faye

"i'll be your eyes." "what?" "i'll. be. your. eyes."

above anything else, she does the work and supports the people she thinks are worthy, she thinks have something important to say, regardless of prestige. she's cute as a button and loyal to a fault and is exactly the right amount of talented and full of grace and humility for what she does.

she maaaaaay need to start learning what professional boundaries are (mainly irt how much of peoples' personal issues she can carry on her lonesome)

i could watch an entire season of judith and paul attempting to bake bread using the scientific method

blanchejudith my beloved. my milfiest ship. my repression central. my women who desperately need a weekend in vermont.

if julia/judith was a thing ig i do not want to see

i have lots of headcanons ab the cabin in vermont and how she uses that space to better both her editing and her writers' work

i don't think there are enough people in this fandom for anything to be controversial? she is an absolute gem

slip away clarence carter

#long post #riss speaks #ask games #molly cobb #ava daniels #kathryn janeway #judith jones

[safyresky]

GOOD SUNDAY AFTERNOON Y'ALL I AM IN A DILEMMA AND WOULD LIKE SOME INPUT. I think I know what I'm gonna do, but let me overshare on the internet first :)

I have been meaning to cross post Crystal Springs for ages now, but this past week the itch has been STRONG. There is one thing stopping me, though.

The PROLOGUE to Crystal Springs. Here's the dilemma in point form notes bc I like bullet points.

The CS prologue is actually the Frostmas epilogue

Frostmas has changed so much from the start that the epilogue has changed a LOT as well

I will need to update it, however, it will not be the final version as that will finally happen when I finish Frostmas in like. 7 years lmao

which brings me to the following options:

post prologue as is, update it post-frostmas finish

rewrite prologue as close to ttyof epilogue notes as possible, then update it whenever I actually finish frostmas

FUCK the prologue, axe it COMPLETELY and go about my merry way

And this, dear readers, of both CS and this post, is where YOU come in. Because we have POLLS and I like 50 plus opinions before deciding on my course of action!

Is the prologue necessary?

Well, yes, but also, no. It offers a bit of insight on Jacqueline's side of things, and immediately tells us where B-Man's been and what happened there prior to tsc3, and is referenced in the early chapters, so it would be. Probably fine without it, but a little weird without it as well!

Poll will last a week bc I am not in the BIGGEST rush and need to weigh my options still lmao. I have a choice I think I'm going to go with, but am a bit on the fence presently so, let's ah. fuck around and find out!

Anyway! Happy Sunday browsing!

#dani speaks #crystal springs #fanfic #the santa clause #tsc #tsc3 #the santa clause 3 #ou did you all hear the latest news about tscs? #mad santa's gonna attack the pole #i hope he wins tbh lmao #apparently he's got a gnome friend so we finally get to see gnomes #guess what! they don't understand EMOTIONS and FEELINGS! #LOVE THAT. #/sarcasm #anyway let's see how this poll goes! :D #i am DYING to crosspost yall dont even KNOW

[mccoys-killer-queen]

Concert Log: Seeing Lita Ford & Jack Russell's Great White

This one was at my usual venue and wasn't really one I was dying to see, but one I wanted to go to just for the hell off it bc I didn't have any concerts planned at the time. DISCLAIMER: this is NOT Great White. Jack Russell's Great White and Great White are TWO DIFFERENT BANDS. I know, I know.

I got there SUPER FREAKISHLY EARLY. As in doors opened at 7pm and I got there at 12:30.

my reasoning for this was because last time I was at this venue, I got there at 1:15 and the very first couple in the line was already there, so I figured if I got there at 12:30 and got lunch at the restaurant first, I'd be outside in line by 1:15.

No one else showed up until 2:45.

No one else showed up in the GA line until 4pm.

It was very cold. It's was extremely uncomfortably cold. It was 50F degrees (which is perfect weather for this time of year) but this venue is on top of a fucking mountain. So it felt like 30F instead. And it was WINDY. Convert to celsius if you must but it felt very much below freezing it was BAD.

So the first couple to show up in the VIP line (there are 2 lines- general ((GA)) and venue VIP) brought chairs and while the man was getting food the lady invited me to sit with her bc it was cold ;-;

gonna refer to her as Cherry she's like 50

Cherry and I got along real well and she overshared so much about her relationship with her boyfriend (the guy who she came with) and how he's not her cup of tea and how they haven't had sex bc "he's a fuckup", and that their 2 friends from Florida who are engaged to each other were flying in for the show to meet up with them and how she's in love with the friend who's engaged

it was a lot to unpack

at one point Cherry and I were talking about how we only love Nikki Sixx out of the Crue guys, and she said how she's spoken with Lita a few times and at one point she said "i gotta ask... about Nikki... is he... good?" to which Lita allegedly replied "...enh?" and we were both grieving going "NOOOOO"

time went faster and it actually felt a bit warmer by the time the line built up and people started talking too political it was fun :3)

I also met a 12 year old who really put it into perspective for me how fucked up covid was/is bc she said "THIS STARTED FOR ME WHEN I WAS IN 3RD GRADE. I AM NOW IN 7TH GRADE. AND WE ARE LEARNING THINGS AT A 4TH GRADE LEVEL BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO TEACH US" and how they do active shooter drills 6 times a month and how they took away the school's library and maybe this generation is gonna be ok after all bc you go sweetie go tf off at ur world KNOW what's wrong and what's fucked up

the guy in line right behind me wouldn't stop talking to me and I guess he was alright he also kept calling me skinny? I was in layers g_g

everyone kept complimenting my jacket with all the patches on it :D

right before i got let inside someone saw my outfit and said "it's like the 70s all over again" (I was in my jacket and bellbottoms)

doors opened a half an hour late bc Jack Russell's band was having problems with an amp :'3

I was first inside for GA so it was worth it

I was the most center I've ever been in this venue

Cherry was on my left and the man she's in love with was on my right and they were talking secretly and talking shit about her bf around me and i was there like :) "I know things"

poor Jack Russell he can hardly move but he still sounds REALLY good

like he was shaking the entire time and didn't move around (he prefaced the show with "sorry if I'm not moving around as much, I have to have back surgery soon so I gotta stay put")

for half the set he was looking off to the side at the techs literally like -._-. and trying to signal them directions bc they were having problems with the sound

Jack saying "you remember the 80s?", me going "HELL YEAH" and Cherry dying

"If you missed the 80s- you MISSED OUT" "DON'T REMIND ME"

his guitarist playing to me numerous times and DIDN'T GIVE ME A PICK >:C

Lita Ford standing on the side of the stage watching his set

her hair is half pink we stan

Jack saying "after us we have the queen of rock Lita Ford" and everyone up front turning and screaming at her offstage and she was like :3D "oops"

Jack's other guitarist looks like a Slash and Gene Simmons lovechild

Jack introducing Rock Me by saying "This next song is one that I'm very proud to have been involved in the writing of. It's a- ah fuck, you'll know what it is."

During Once Bitten Twice Shy, Cherry pointed at me and said "my best friend told me you're the-" and I'm like wha srtgonisrogtintrh

He walks with a cane when he's not onstage

He also sat off to the side and watched Lita's set it was adorable how they both did that for each other

after their set, the tour manager gave Cherry a setlist and said "send me that pic of Lita off to the side and I'll get Jack to sign this real quick- is that okay?" so she said yeah and he went back for a minute and came back out with 5 or 6 copies of the setlist, each signed by Jack and started handing them out to people at the front so I have Jack Russell's autograph now?? okay??

Lita was in platform boots what a mcfuckin queen

also i wasn't expecting her to be so tiny??? idk how tall she is *googles it* she's 5'5 but she looks so petite?? she's just skin and bones and boobs

I was in contact with her PR guy in the summer and asked him for a photo pass and he said "technically i can't give you one since you don't work for a publication, but if I have a VIP custom guitar going onstage that night, I could probably just sneak you in. Get back to be in October closer to the show and I'll let you know." I messaged him last week. No response. Ghosted me.

I'm thinking "oh well what are the odds someone HERE is actually gonna purchase this ultimate VIP custom guitar packag-" two. Two people did. I could've gotten in with my camera. I'm still salty.

Lita's Stoli's Vodka guitar is so cool

I want Bobby Rock to choke me just look him up you'll see

Lita telling the story of the previous night how they were on a 90 mile drive from Nashville and "we were all,,,, drinkin,,,,....... and stuff."

Her playing one of the custom guitars and showing it to the crowd going "so if you can't tell, that's me on the front"

*flips it over* "and that's my butt."

(it was indeed her butt)

she also did a cover of Only Women Bleed by Alice Cooper but it was just her singing and Patrick playing and I almost cried it was so beautiful

Patrick Kessinton is very talented and it's VERY attractive. He's like if Nikki Sixx looked more metal

he sang Ozzy's parts on Close My Eyes Forever and HOOOOOO

I got to talk to him after (will elaborate)

Cherry had a wedding gift for Patrick since his wedding is in a few weeks, and also had a late birthday present for Lita so she was gonna go meet her after the show since they're acquainted, and I was gonna go with them obvi bc I always wait at the busses too

after the show i said i was gonna get a shirt and a drink and meet them out back

THEY ONLY HAD 3XL SHIRTS LEFT AFTER THE SHOW SO I HAD TO GET ONE AND IT'S LITERALLY A NIGHTGOWN ON ME RTGORTRGTRGERG

I went outside and wandered around for a few minutes and didn't see Cherry or anyone else waiting by the artist exit so snuck back inside (which you're kinda not supposed to do)

and while I was looking for Cherry I noticed Patrick was right next to me talking to friends and i was like "omg i didn't know you were right there hi :DD" (I did know)

i told him how awesome he was and all and he said "I think i tried throwing you a pick, did you get it?" and I pulled it out and was like yeah :DDD

We briefly chatted together (I kinda interrupted a convo with them all ngl but it was worth it)

security guy: *comes over* (@ patrick) are they all with you?

Patrick: yeah, yeah

me, internally: heh :3 I'm with him

EVEN PATRICK ASKED ME IF I WATCHED THE FUCKIN DAHMER SHOW AND I WAS LIKE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE

the one roadie/staff/security guy complimented my jacket as Patrick and I went separate ways

I didn't see Cherry again but I'm going BACK to this venue on Saturday and she said she was gonna be there too so...

Bonus:

everyone I meet at concerts is always so happy for me ;-; happy I'm doing this myself and such

on the way home I stg i saw a ghost twice won't elaborate

on the way home: *hotel california playing from car stereo in the middle of the night on a completely deserted road in the woods* me: *drives over a HUUUUUUUUGE patch of blood on the road that suddenly appeared right in front of me* me: :D I'm in danger

me: is that a fucking deer (it is a ton of political signs on the side of the road that look like a deer from afar)

#concerts #concert #concert log #lita ford #jack russell #great white

[saturneves]

Feel free not to post this ask. Just wanted to update you on myself. Idk maybe you actually care about me, and I don’t want to give you unnecessary anxiety.

I have just been very anxious (always am tbh but whatever). Having a hard writing an ask to you because my brain thinks I am sharing too much. And also because I haven’t talked to anyone for almost a year now (other than for school shit and excluding maybe 2 people that chat with me on and off, and of course my family) so you talking to me and saying compliments my brain go brr for that. So anxiety. I still see your art. It is still so gorgeous and I still love it. I will never stop thanking you about it. Sorry for over sharing.

Uhh just wanted to share this link with you, so that you can have something to do (been reading on here that you need distractions and stuff, and I had this saved for a week now but anxiety again). So I hope it helps https://takewhatyouneed.carrd.co/#distraction . But I can suggest you to do some jigsaw puzzles (if you have them, but I'm pretty sure you can print some and then just cut it out. I haven’t tried doing it this way yet but it probably works, I really like puzzles lol), you can sew to make stuffed toys out of old fabric (don’t know if you have stuffing but if you have an old pillow, that would work), you can try needle felting (again need to buy materials for that, be careful to not stab your fingers while doing it. I have done so countless of times lol. Would recommend you try out a kit first, like the one that tells you what to do and has set materials. Or you can do whatever you want), you can do diamond painting (buying materials again, I like doing small things. Don’t know if you'd like it though), and you can try 3D miniature house kit (again again, need to buy shit with this one. Little things again).

Ok sorry for the long message again. Other that my anxiety I am also having my finals next week. So I probably will be back after that. Let's see if my anxiety won’t be a bitch and let me talk to people. Ok I hope that shit I sent helps. Thank you so much, ok byee

-🎩

this ask truly warmed my heart❤ you never have to worry about oversharing, i love seeing you in my inbox! i'm not big on chatting so asks are perfect for me, as i can take all the time i need to work out what i'm going to say and stuff. you don't ever have to hesitate to send me an ask whenever you've got something on your mind, i love hearing your thoughts about my art and anything else :)

i get the whole not talking to people thing, i got very sick 2-3 years ago and basically had to shut down my entire life, i stayed home with my mom for nearly 2 years and lost all my friends. i missed 2 whole years of school. it really fucked up my ability to make friends/form connections and when i had to go back to school my anxiety was through the roof, and it hasn't fully eased up. it's not until last year i worked up the courage to actually talk to somebody at the new school i had to go to (well she approached me first but hey, i felt brave enough to keep talking to her), and now i think i have a best friend. i sincerely hope you can find some sort of calm, that you can make a connection too. i'm bad with encouragement, but i do try my best, so trust me when i say you've got this!

and woah that link!! i tried a few of them out, i loved the 'watch the stars' one, i like space. i'm gonna check the rest of them out throughout the day, thank you so much! i'm not good with sewing or needle felting (tried both as a kid) but honestly i would like to try it again.. i have a bit of stuffing over from my killing eve bear so i could make the tiniest stuffed animal in the world i guess lol. as for needle felting, i might have to try again someday!! i also poked my fingers all the time when i tried it as a kid, ouch. and i've never actually tried diamond painting!

well this is turning into a long reply. i hope you're comfortable with me publishing this ask, if not just let me know! i wish you all the luck in the world with your finals!! <3

#ask #🎩 anon #thank you so much this is the sweetest ask i've ever received <3

[doctorweebmd]

Because I’m nosey for the author ask…Hope you don’t mind :-)

🙋🏻‍♀️❌💔💲

ahhh NO THIS ISNT NOSINESS i LOVE oversharing get ready and also THANK YOU FOR SENDING THIS!!! it was super fun and distracted me from the agony that is writing plot and remembering that its sunday night 🥺

🙋‍♀️ - do any real-life people know what I write fanfic? Uhhh. My husband does but I've never let him read any of it. I do tell people that I write 'fiction' in my spare time, because its like, my one hobby, but definitely don't extrapolate. i'm making the assumption that most people in the medical field don't know shit about ao3 but i also know for a FACT that there are multiple weeb sleeper agents out there. doing medicine. while weebing. BUT. i'm sure if anyone recognized any of my stuff it would be a 'what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament' situation haha

❌ - a trope i will never write? Probably alpha/beta/omega stuff. Some people do them really well and I've certainly read really great ABO, but its one of those dynamics that I would never want to voluntarily explore. Its actually the one tag I actively filter out when looking for new fic. On that same note, Pregnancy/Kidfic. Babies and parenting give me the major ick (this may be colored heavily by the fact that i dont want children and am at that age where people keep ASKING ABOUT IT.) tbh i'm also not much of a fantasy person or historical person, so a lot of hybrid/mermaid/royalty AUs are a no for me. and, probably most controversially? established relationship. listen i am here for the drama i dont care about healthy loving domestic stuff! i want miscommunication! i want pining! i want discovering each other for the first time! i want fumbling and blushing!!!

.... wow there are a LOT of things i dont think i'd write lol yikes.

💔 - Is there a fic of yours that broke your heart? Not to be predictable but yeah. Zero-sum game. In part because it was a very vulnerable place of writing emotionally - both because i had not, for many years, tapped into my own mental health experiences for fear of it being triggering while writing, but also partially because i was working in the icu during peak covid and everyone was dying and it was so fucking depressing and demoralizing. I teared up at a couple of scenes - this ended up super long so i'm going to break it down by chapter:

Chapter 7 when Katsuki walked by the bar his friends were having a reunion at, Jirou ran out to get him and Kirishima stopped her, saying 'we have to let him go.'

Chapter 12, Katsuki asking - are you afraid? And Zero looking up at the sky saying - Am I afraid? And then reciting that poem. 'Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light. I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.' That scene I can see so so vividly in my head, hear their voices, intonations, expressions - and it breaks my heart. The tent scene at the end of Chapter 12, too - 'Do you think that's what love feels like?' 'Fuck if I know.' FUCK ME UP. ARHGHH S.

Chapter 15 - Mitsuki saying 'But you’re gonna eventually have to find a way to love people without hurting them. Or you’re going to end up alone.' and Katsuki having a breakdown after. Then later in the chapter, Inko asking '“… I wonder, sometimes. Who he would become if he never met you.” WHAT THE FUCKKKKK

Chapter 19 - god. Where do I even start. The entire confession scene is like punch after punch to the ribcage. Specifically:

"How does Katsuki explain that the first time in his life he considered he might be in love is when hands he’s dreamt off for nearly twenty years (Now just the one. Half is gone, because it has to be, because to be complete is to give Katsuki more than he deserves) wrapped themselves around his throat, making him wonder if love might be a bit like dying, might be a bit like that last fucking breath when nothing in the goddamn world can feel more cathartic - that last strawberry, the last sip of water, the last bullet in the chamber - and they bled and fought and fucked and destroyed each other and nothing has ever felt to pure and perfect and devastating and absolutely holy - if that’s not love, then what the hell is?"

and

"“Yeah. Yeah, that’s right. I love you and I’m walking away from you and I never want to see you again. Okay? I never want to see you again.”

AND

“…What am I supposed to do now?” Inko Midoriya whispers out to the street. No more fretting, no more restless nights, no more ‘what if’s.’ Her son is back, but despite that, she’s still alone. They both are.

“I don’t know.” Katsuki responds honestly.

“Find something else to live for, I guess.”

Chapter 23 - the proposal scene. Specifically:

'Not because you saved me physically – and you did, you did, you’re always saving me, and I’m always saving you, I fuckin’ know, we’ll always save each other because that’s who we are, but it's more than that. Its more.'

AND

“But you need to know – you need to. That, with all of me, I love who you were, I love who you are, and I love who you’re becoming.”

“I want to spend the rest of my life with you. No matter how short, no matter how painful, no matter how fucking temporary all of this is. I want to experience it with you.”

“Marry me.”

AND. Finally and most of all. The authors note at the end. Even re-reading it now, its so raw. I think about this a lot:

'It all anchors on the belief that you can still be who you want to be. The belief that ‘broken’ people can get better. The belief, the ever present faith - because it has to be faith, because all tangible things are friable but not faith, not this - that you can be found. That you are not irredeemable. That there is a future worth fighting for.'

I have moments from 'we will wait and wait in that space' and 'nothing else fills' that made me tear up, but it still won't match the raw levels of emotion and vulnerability that was channeled in zero-sum. even now, years later, its still my heart.

Wow sorry this got SUPER long. but i loved going through zero-sum and picking out my favorite scenes so thank you for that :) :) :)

💲 - would i ever open commissions? gosh no, probably not. i'm not great at one-shots and deadlines and i work super inconsistent hours and tbh i have minimal confidence in the consistency of my writing to offer it as a service. i'm also very lucky to be pretty secure financially so i wouldn't have that kind of external driving force. but i'm very flattered that that's even a question. 🥺 id happily give away all my mind-vomit for free.

AHHHH i'm sorry this is so long THANK YOU FOR INDULGING ME i adore you ❤️

#ask game #anna never beating the cannot shut up allegations

[frostbite-the-bat]

vent post where i overshare and complain about my life below because i wanna distract myself from studying because i'm having a hard time mentally motivating myself to do it !! yippie.

fucking hell only 2 days before my last part of finals and i REALLY dont feel like studying not only bc my mental health as of late aint been the best, my mood being bad today in general, but also just. really REALLY wanting to be over with it. to be over with it successfully i have to try, and i am trying quite hard, but man do i not want to. just a few pitiful days and im over with it. i'm feeling the same pressure as i did when i was about to do my first two finals... i've noticed i'm being a bit more distant in general aside from TRYING TO focus on studying (90% of the time im probably not doing much tbh)

and i just wish these finals were a bit fairer. we have 25 questions, right? well, it's a verbal test, we have like 20 minutes to speak to two teachers who **MAY** ask questions about it PLUS some official we dont know of. a stranger. and 20 minutes to prepare. oh, 25 questions? for that? sounds bad! well, it's only one question! sounds good, doesnt it?

well... you don't know which one you're gonna get. THANKFULLY we have the list of questions available to us - but we have no way of knowing what we may get. we have to prepare for literally anything, because if you slack studying even a singular one, you may get unlucky and that may be the one you're gonna end up stuck with. of course, they will ask questions to squeeze things out of you, and hint stuff...but i am just so worried i won't know. every time i study, there's a bit of something i just... skip over completely. i dont have the time or patience for it. it's too hard... and i spent too much time over working the other answers. like, really overworking on them, with pointless detail.

and that's the thing! we have to say as many details for this as possible... and for many of these questions i can honestly say i'm very confident about answering them! but... the rest, most of this, many of this... it's just so hard. it's too hard. i need to approach it from like... an angle of. just fill in everything a little bit. (forgot to mention, im working out each question in a google doc, as if i was answering it. i will then read through it and study it. re-writing things in my own words makes me remember topics better, and i often re-write a thing over and over for this same reason.)

and just... getting even a bit of something in so i feel fullfilled. but...in theory i should study what i don't know, which is what is so hard. i don't know where to begin. these questions are from all over the place....i always need so many confusing tab open just to answer one question - then close them and get stuff for the other question - but oops! the other half of it needs stuff from the previous ones, great...

and it's just a whole mess, and i am worried i may not make it. well...i did rather well on my actual finals. like, exceptionally well. better than i typically do. like, a B. i never ever get those grades. that's an excellent grade. even if i do not define myself by my grades, it feels good to know i did well on that. but...i know my verbal performance is bad... and for that, it was many topics in one test. okay, study a bit of everything and you're fine. but for this i need... a lot of detail for ONE THING. that i will not know what it'll be. and it's a BIG deciding factor on whether or not i pass.

and it SUCKS. i am so tired. not to mention i have been sleeping less to play games with friends, due to timezones, while attempting to manage my horrible attention span to attempt to study. at least...i am doing something? but i am afraid it won't be enough. it won't be valued. it won't be what i need. i am a person who values my breaks a bunch, and i need them. hell, even writing this was a bad idea as my hands are starting to hurt, making my entire self feel horribly exhausted. i wish i could write down those answers this quickly.

issue is the language barrier - i have managed to switch my thoughts to be mostly in english, and i am a native czech speaker. i really need to read things in czech a little bit more. but just...the motivation. the drive. here my drive is to express my feelings an annoyance, and just get it out of my system so i can focus better. but? for that?

a pointless test, where there is a big chance i will be given something i may be clueless about. i may panic and fuck everything up. and... after this. i do not know what i will do with my life. it's scary stuff.

i both wanna get out of here so i can truly be myself, but also, i have not been taught about life by my parents at all. i need them. even if i wish to escape from them and do what i want...do what i need to get better. glares at my dad. glares back at this post. i do not know how the world works.

i have zero plans. anything i'd want probably wouldn't go through - or they would tell me it's a bad idea, have comments on it, and i'd go back into my little shell again. i'm gonna need a job eventually, but i'd really like to see doctors or something first, because i'm like 99% sure covid from last year cause me to have chronic exhaustion (and probably pains? im in so much pain especially in my legs and arms so easily its unreal. i need to study this more) as well. i can't do shit for too long without spacing the fuck out and trying not to cry because of the pain. i perform badly. i am an anxious mess. however anything health related i ask about is met with "oh we don't need a doctor for THAT" or "oh, stop whining! this is what the real world is like. get used to it. don't sit down, you're so lazy. work hard."

and i don't plan on doing what my school taught me to do and fighting jobs is hard enough already. i am sure my parents won't mind supporting me while being unemployed for a while, but... i know that my dad will pressure me a lot. hell, he joked about it even years ago when my best friend got a summer job before me... and also my parents want me to work at their job. okay good might get nepo babie'd, but uh, issue is! that place works like crazy fucking **12 hour shifts**. i already die at like 4 or less hours of something. what.

and fuck i am so grateful to my friends for supporting me during these times... offering their own help. i am so glad. i am so happy. i could not ask for better people. but... i wish this was more available to me in real life. i am rotting my fucking brain online only because the only support i get is here... everywhere else i am unwanted. and i was never taught to ask for help. if i ever wanted anything...or asked for help. it was denied or ignored... they always say you can tell me anything, if there's trouble tell me, but then you tell them and...

all you get called is "you're so sensitive" "oh boys will be boys" "oh come on get over it" "you have to try harder than that". and!! man. it is hard. its so hard. i just wanna lay down... for a whole year....do nothing. hibernate all that time. have zero life worries... everyone has these, but. i hate that life played the cards to make it this difficult for me... and. a lot of it is invisible.

i hide it. i mask it. or it didn't pop up until now... nobody will believe me if i tell them these issues i am facing. it's not enough to need help for them. "there's others who face more pain and issues in their life than you" "you don't seem like you need it". constantly stuck...in this. it does require actual speaking out, yes...but if your whole life, you ask for the smallest things, and it's not delivered upon...you just learn to stop asking. you know who to not ask and who to ask. it's horrible.

not to mention some issues i can get in actual danger with if it comes out. like i don't know. me being queer? that's one of the main things holding me back this much.

like. once i am done with this school. these finals. if i pass them. i am done. i have no plans after. i am sure i will... find something. it wont be easy. but... ill have to do it. sadly.

no plans at all. how am i supposed to be motivated to do even such a simple task as studying when i know in the end it may not even matter... i hate all of this so much. i wish i wasnt this way. i hate these things about myself. i love being a wacky little weirdo, but. i wish the world was easier to live in. i hate all of this shit. i hate that this world is built to be hard for someone like me. especially since it's not seen as hard enough to most... it ends up making me feel even worse. it's not fun.

i just wish it was all easier. i wish that at least today i could do the things i want. but i dont get to it. it sucks so bad. i have like zero energy left and i have to push through. i have to. or else i wont pass. that will cause more issues... it's. horrible. sigh. i'll....i'll stop now. at least i got all these thoughts out of my brain. i am repeating myself. nothing is there. despite my low energy, and me ALREADY pushing myself a lot, it's probably the most ideal time for me to do something. so. i guess i'll try. only because i have to. i hate this. i'm so scared of the future...

#vent

[bluethedream]

hate how the power goes out and my first thought is to turn on the flashlight and keep studying

#later on it occurred to me that i could've used some of the darkness and silence i've been craving for such a long time #but nooo what did i do instead? study. huh. #i hate how i don't have the energy for anything other than working and studying anymore #like it's 2am and i wanna rest but my brain's telling me to do part of my work that's meant for tomorrow #thankfuly I had the wherewithal to remind myself that midnight is me time #i feel like that part inside of me where my interest are has totally burned out nothing peaks my interest (except for capri ofc) #and i just. times like rn when I actually have free time on my hand and am not tired and sleepy af #i just wanna watch a new movie or read a new book or a fic that's like 5k+ (so many fics I wanna read smh) but i can't do any of those #because even thinking about starting something new makes me exhausted. #all i'm thinking is that i need to save my energy for work and school #but i want. i want and i don't even know what. there are so many books on my tbr and so many animes and movies on my to-watch list #and i just look at them and go 'ok i'll get to you later' and i just never do and it's all so fucking frustrating #I just need a long long long vacation. alone. no job. no school. #pls just let me rest a little bit #i'm not supposed to feel this way at 20 #makes me wonder how i'm gonna feel in 10 years #*screams* #at this point it's embarrassing how much I'm oversharing here #don't mind me pls just scroll past hehe #sabi's words