#adults playing with toy blocks

[petri808]

Finished another block set. It’s HUGE! lol I didn’t realize when I bought it would be. My cat is same size 🤣

#personal post #adults playing with toy blocks

[wanders-in-wonderland]

~Welcome to Wonderland~

Disclaimer: If you are a minor, please please do not interact with my content and I will block you if I see you. I absolutely do not condone any true non-consensual activities, all sex should be performed with consenting adults, clear communication, and trust. Just because I write about non-consensual topics does not mean it is okay in real life. My blog contains content that may be triggering and I do my best to tag accordingly but please be warned and engage at your own discretion!

Hello! Thank you for stopping by my little corner of the internet and welcome! I write long- and short-form content that spans a variety of my own kinks that most commonly include overstimulation, consensual non-consent, rape fantasies, and being a breedable, submissive slut ;)

I try my best to tag my stories accordingly and this post will (hopefully) always be the most updated list of my long-form content. Short-form content is posted in pink text and tagged with #drippythoughts. I’m open to requests and suggestions and my ask box and DMs are always open for anyone who wants to play! Also, I love when y’all interact with my posts by commenting or reblogging so please feel free!

~ Masterlist ~

A Game | Drugging, Aphrodisiac, Mind Break, Choking, Breath Play, Overstimulation, Predicament Bondage, Vibrator

Broken Rules | Overstimulation, Daddy Kink, Vibrator/Fucking Machine

Date Night Distractions | Overstimulation, Cockwarming, Praise

Difficult Decisions | Overstimulation, Vibrator, Bondage, Gaslighting (ish), Daddy Kink, Clit Pumping

Electrified | Consensual Non-Consent, Overstimulation, Drugging, Aphrodisiac, Electrostimulation, Medical (ish)

Ex-Boyfriend | Rape Fantasy, Mind Break, Edging, Overstimulation, Bimbofication

First Date | Consensual Non-Consent, Rape Fantasy, Mouth Fucking

Fuck Me Like You Hate Me | Overstimulation, Mind Break, Vibrator, Dacryphilia

Jealousy | Daddy Kink, Overstimulation, Edging, Mind Break, Exhibitionism (ish)

My Roommate | Spanking, Rape Fantasy

New Toy | Daddy Kink, Brat, Edging, Overstimulation, Vibrator

Pay to Play | Rape Fantasy, Kidnapping, Mind Break, Overstimulation, Medical (ish)

Please Professor | Rape Fantasy, Overstimulation, Mind Break, Academia/School, Vibrator

Roles Reversed | Overstimulation, Daddy Kink, Brat, Rope Bondage

Taken: Denial | Rape Fantasy, Kidnapping, Edging, Mind Break, Vibrator

Taken: Refusal | Rape Fantasy, Kidnapping, Overstimulation, Edging, Somnophilia, Vibrator

The Monster in My Bed | Consensual Non-Consent, Overstimulation, Choking, Intruder

The Popular Vote | Rape Fantasy, Mind Break, Fucking Machine, Vibrator/Sybian, Clit Torture, Electrostimulation, Overstimulation, Edging, Ruined Orgasms, Exhibitionism

Treatment Plan | Rape Fantasy, Tickling, Overstimulation, Restrained, Medical, Mind Break

Updated April 5, 2024

#masterlist #nsft concept #overstim kink #cl1t torture #cnc overstim #dark fantasy #mind break #cnc k!nk #rap3 fantasy #edging kink

[nyctoaerah]

yandere satosugu x female reader? can you do jealousy headcanons (like what makes them jealous and/or what they do when they get jealous)? sorry if that wasn’t specific enough!

╰┈➤𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: Yandere behavior (duh) murder, possessiveness, gore. (Ooc maybe) satoru being an oa little shit. Poly relationship.

╰┈➤𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: Yandere! Satosugu x Fem! Reader

╰┈➤𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄: WHAHAHA i didn’t knew if you wanted it to be separate or not anon, you said satosugu so i immediately assumed that it was a threesome. But heree, some hc’s:33 sorry pookie, i got lazy on suguru’s part:< SJAKEKSKA i did this first cause hc’s are the easiest to write💀💀💀

Masterlist

🔪Satoru struggles with pervasive jealousy issues, particularly when it comes to you and Suguru.

🔪This dude is like the embodiment of jealousy. he’s so envious he’s practically green with it. Hell he’s even jealous of himself. There was this one time he bet he could pull off dressing up as a girl for a dare, and oh boy, did he go all out. But then he got all pouty when you gushed all over him and got all touchy, something that you don’t really do often. And his reason of getting jealous with himself? He thought that you prefer him as a girl, like hello? you were supposed to prefer the original satoru and not his genderbent!

🔪But seriously, this guy’s jealousy knows no bounds. If Suguru flashes a flirty grin at someone else, bam, jealousy strikes. And if you dare compliment another soul? Jealousy overload. You hugged another man that isn’t suguru? He’s trying to force himself not to throw hands. This dude craves all the attention, all the affection, like a toddler hoarding toys in a playgroup. He’s aware he’s selfish, probably knows it’s not the best look, but he’s powerless against the possessiveness that overtakes him when it comes to you and Suguru. You both have this unique power to bring out the best and worst in him, after all, you two were the only one who sees him as “Satoru” and not as the “Strongest.”

🔪Satoru’s neurotic tendencies and jealousy issues stemmed from his messed-up childhood. The poor guy got stripped of his carefree youth and was thrust into the adult world way before his time after all. the jealousy bug bit him hard when he saw other kids having the time of their lives, while he was stuck with grown-ups fawning over him and expecting way too much and pressuring him. That childhood envy stuck to him like glue, and it grew into a full-blown mess when you, him, and Suguru became an item.

🔪The thing that grinds Satoru’s gears the most and the absolute worst, is when you and Suguru says something about other people’s eyes like; “Their eyes is so pretty” Blah, blah, blah, bullshit like that. It kills him inside that you don’t shower the same love on his eyes. His eyes are prettier, more powerful, and literally very unique, and you hardly ever mention how beautiful it is.

🔪Satoru absolutely loathes it when you’re completely oblivious to someone flirting with you. He’ll shoot menacing glares at the culprit when you’re not paying attention, as if daring them to keep it up, and he would end up threatening them.

🔪Satoru doesn’t bother in hiding his emotions, he’ll whimper, pout, and stick to you and Suguru like glue. And would play the melodramatic card, guilt tripping you. Or he’ll just straight up threaten you or tell suguru about how naughty you are.

🔪🔪🔪

Satoru’s head rested delicately upon your lap as your dexterous fingers ran through his snow white tresses. He gazed at you upward, sky blue eyes peeking from beneath his snowy eyelashes.

“Can you give me your phone for a minute baby? I just wanna do something”

Without pause for consideration, you obliged his request and gave the phone into his outstretched hand.

“Yeah, sure, here.” You responded with a hum.

“What are you gonna do with it, anyways?” You questioned, before your eyes widened as you saw how satoru’s digits hastened across the interface, focused intently on blocking specific contacts from further reaching your line.

“Huh, ‘Toru, what the hell?”

“Wait—why are you blocking them? Those are my—” Your words faded as Satoru lifted his head from your lap and moves away from you, his piercing gaze fixed on yours as he gently grasped your chin between his forefinger and thumb.

“Why do you always insist on conversing with them, hmm? Do you like them?”

“What— no! It’s not like that, what the fuck?”

“If you really love me and Suguru, then you have to sever ties with that girl/guy and keep your distance, okay?”

🔪Suguru really isn’t the jealous type, because he’s all about trust and loyalty when it comes to you and Satoru—He trusts you two.

🔪But, every now and then, a feeling of jealousy creep up inside him when he sees you and Satoru hanging out and having fun without him. He tries to brush it off though, understanding that you two are really close. He just wants to see his pretty lovers smiling, or at least that’s what he tells himself.

🔪When Suguru starts feeling jealous, it’s not a pretty sight. Beneath that kind and laid-back exterior lies a man who doesn’t really forgive that much. Suguru doesn’t forgive, and he doesn’t forget.

🔪Suguru may be a master at concealing his jealousy, but when it does surface, it’s like a storm crashing down. Picture this: you innocently text someone he’s really jealous of, and before you know it, your phone is pulled from your hands and tossed across the room while he summons a cursed spirit to destroy it completely, only to be replaced with a brand-new one moments later. Oh, and that person you were casually chatting with? It’s either you can consider them ghosted or consider them dead.

🔪Mentioning your ex around him was a big no-no. Because it immediately triggers him. can’t you just keep the spotlight on him and Satoru? One tiny mention of your ex’s name or Satoru reminiscing about his past flings, and Suguru’s mood immediately becomes sour.

🔪In stark comparison to Satoru, Suguru remains nonchalant about compliments being thrown around. He’s all for lifting people up until those compliments take a flirtatious turn. If that line is crossed, however, his cursed spirits will have its new meal.

🔪If Suguru was jealous and it led to an argument between you two, he would turn on his ultimate weapon—the silent treatment. He’d nonchalantly start hanging out with other people, making sure you noticed just to annoy you and make you jealous. He was well aware of his petty tendencies, but deep down, he simply wished for you to drop the bratty act and apologize.

🔪If you don’t really apologize and just pushed him over the edge... Well, you’ll have to say goodbye to your sanity because suguru is brutal as fuck when it comes to giving punishment.

🔪Unlike Satoru, who would guilt trip and manipulate you, Suguru would take it up a notch on the intensity scale. He wouldn’t shy away from using violence after all. And that doesn’t only apply to the person that he’s envious of, that applies to you too, and satoru. But that’s the difference, Satoru is a good boy, and you’re not.

🔪Suguru would be more than glad to kill someone in front of you and force you to watch it after all. He’ll hurt you too if you thrash and scream instead of being a good girl.

And you can’t really escape the both of them, after all, their love is like a noose.♡

🔪🔪🔪

Suguru’s hand forcefully clamped over your quivering lips, stifling any cries that tried to escape. His breath was hot against your skin, his fingers digging into your flesh with an iron grip, rendering you immobile. The metallic tang of blood invaded your nostrils. Your eyes were wide with terror, pupils shrinking, and your pulse quickening. A sickening view of gore played out before your horrified gaze, crimson splattering the walls, each nauseating squelch echoing through the room.

“I told you to stay away from them and you didn’t listen...” Suguru whispers, his breath hot against your neck, his delicate mouth parting to suck hard upon your pulsing skin, his mouth works its way slowly along your skin. And you shudder involuntarily beneath his touch, fear coursing through you as his lips close around a patch of flesh, sucking hard.

“See...? This is what happens when you disobey.”

The sharp prick of his teeth sends bolts of pain ricocheting through your body. Your already unsettled stomach lurches violently at the sight that greets you as you raise your head, struggling against his grip.

Before you, bound fast to a wooden chair, was the friend you had jokingly flirted with. Tears stream unchecked down their pallid cheeks, mingling with traces of dried blood, as their cries continue to ring in your ears.

Every limb was callously severed, Their bones was protruding out—the metacarpal bones, the carpal bones, the humerus, the ulna, the fibula, and other bones,  Their arms and legs are covered in long, vivid scarlet lines that are three inches wide, intersecting each other in a crisscross pattern and the wounds appear to have breached the surface of their skin, While suguru’s cursed spirits feeds on their severed flesh.

With a low, self-satisfied hum, Satoru drags the tip of the scalpel upwards your friend’s cheek, cutting them and the skin opens, revealing their inner facial muscle. He then reaches out to grasp a fistful of your friend’s hair, yanking their head back sharply to force clouded eyes up to meet your own.

“Suguruuuu, what do i do next? Do we gouge their eyes out for looking at our pretty girl that way?” 

“Do it. She said that she likes their eyes anyways... She’s probably implying that she prefers their eyes over yours.” Suguru smirks, humming as he pressed his body against yours, enjoying the way satoru’s face suddenly fell.

“Haah... Looks like i’ll be enjoying gouging their eyes then.”

#𝐀𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐇’𝐒 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐊𝐒 #jjk x you #jujutsu kaisen #yandere jjk #yandere x reader #yandere x you #yandere satoru gojo #yandere gojo #yandere geto #yandere suguru geto #yandere jujutsu kaisen x reader #yandere satosugu #satosugu #satosugu x reader #gojo x reader #yandere geto x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you #yandere creepypasta #yandere anime #jjk x reader #yandere #yandere headcanons #yandere jjk headcanons

[heartlyrins]

Hi! This is my first time requesting so forgive me if I did something wrong 😿

I've read your Aventurine x slave!reader and I was wondering how about reader who WANTS to be his sex slave? The first time reader met Aventurine, she's been gushing over him. Reader tries to hide it but the word "simp" literally written on her face. Every night reader dreams of riding, sucking Aventurine's cock, wanting his head between her legs, rocking her inside every night. Every time reader nears/sees Aventurine, her face got red and her legs slightly parting although she insists it's just her habit. It didn't took Aventurine long to know what reader has been dreaming of and he's gladly fulfill reader's small dream.

Bonus: reader has a degradation kink and in her mind she'll do anything Aventurine told/request her like a good pet

Once again sorry if this is somehow against your rule 😭 If you're not feeling comfortable with it you can delete my message

MR HOTSTUFF, PLEASE NOTICE ME !

˚₊‧desc— Aventurine noticed that one of his subordinates just can't seem to keep their eyes off him!

˚₊‧tw— smut, degradation kink, dacryphilia, blowjob, slight pet play, adult toys, buttplug, public sex?, dubcon photo taking, choking, masochistic!reader, sadistic!Aventurine, kinda yandere!reader

˚₊‧a/n— I've been having writer's block but I desperately want to write for my husband. This is the most tame fic I've written so far I think, this is soo horrible cuz I wrote this while my head hurts.

He hated dealing with new recruits in the IPC, as the senior member of the strategic investment department—it wasn't really his job to do so.

They're incompetent, slow-working assholes who can't understand a single thing he says. But still—he does need to pick a partner.

He doesn't understand why he needs to, since he's fully capable of himself but it is a requirement for every Ten-Stonehearts members. Said it was something about a program training the recruits..

He goes to round the recruits and asking them questions to find which is the most suitable one for him.

Honestly, all of these recruits are dumber than Topaz's pet. The talent motivation department did a horrible job with finding these recruits.

Each one of them can't answer a simple question, when he asks them if they're willing to risk their life for a gamble, all of them just suddenly go dumb-witted as if they lost all braincells.

He doesn't mean to sound like a fellow acquaintance who nags everytime he sees an idiot, but for the love of Qlipoth are they a dumbass with a stick shoved up their ass.

He rejected all of them and was even beginning to think that he wasn't gonna pick one that's good enough, well that was until he was met with the sight of a cute girl—undoubtedly nervous.

How could he miss such a gem in these crowds? He observes you for a moment and when you glance at him—your eyes shine with admiration.

He likes it, you're cute, can keep up with his commands although you do that little thing that makes you space-out sometimes.

He's not extremely bias towards women, but aren't you just so adorable—a diamond in the rough, he thinks.

And when he asks you a question, you'd respond in a fast tone. And when he finally asks you the question that the other recruits dreaded, you'd answer in a cheery tone.

"Y-yes, I'd like to sacrifice my life for you, Aventurine! You're amazing and I'd really like it if I was your assistant even if that means I have to die just to worship the ground you walk on—" you stop when he just stares in your eyes without a response.

Bingo.

"How is your recruit fairing, Aventurine? I heard that you liked her very much." Topaz asks while petting Numby that's placed on her lap.

"Mmn, she's alright." he says as if he wasn't hiding you beneath his desk, sucking his cock as he has a conversation with Topaz. He hums as he strokes your hair, Topaz still so blissfully unaware of what a happening under the table.

"How about your recruit?" he asks and pushes you down deeper by your head, you gagged but it was silenced by Topaz's talking, thankfully.

"I don't like him, it seems like I chose the wrong one. I'm even considering to drop the program off—it's not even worth it since we should be busy with other things." she sighs before crossing her arms and Numby squeals when she does that.

"Sounds like he's a handful." he almost moans but he managed to keep it in, his face is probably flushed at the moment.

"You have no idea of how much of a—Hey, you okay? You look pretty red." she mentions and almost stands up to check on him.

"Yeah—gh. I'm fine, I'm just not up for conversations right now." you bat your eyelashes at him, tears threatening to fall down whilst you take him deeper in your mouth.

Topaz nods—placing the space trotter down as the chair scrapes against the floor, Numby starts to stare at him as if aware of what was happening.

"Hey Topaz," Aventurine called out as she was leaving the room, "Lock the door before you leave, please." He accidentally let out a moan which was silenced quickly while hoping that she doesn't notice.

She doesn't question the slight moan and leaves the room with her pet following, Numby looks at him suspiciously before being called by Topaz and Numby hurriedly follows behind.

Aventurine finally breathes heavily, not realizing that he was holding his breath all these time. The fact that you're gazing up at him with those eyes of yours make his cock twitch in your mouth.

"Y-you.. Fuck.. What a good recruit I have hm? You're so—fuck.. Come here, bend over the desk." you abide, bending over the table and lifting your skirt to proudly show him the buttplug you wore that resembles a cat's tail.

"So cute.." he coos and flicks the tail, he had gifted you that just the day before you so willingly confessed your obsession over him.

"M-master—cock.." he slaps your butt once, reminding you of your place and how you're not supposed to make any demands.

"Nuh-uh, remember how I taught you? Manners, baby." you whimper at his words before fumbling over your words again which just makes you get another spank on the butt.

"No cock until you learn to ask properly." whining at his words—you try to speak properly, you do want his cock after all.

"Cock—please, Master..? I'll be good.." you manage to let out despite the embarrassment, but you're so used to being shameless around him.

He praises you for a moment and grants your wishes—the wish that you desperately wants his dick in your cunt.

The hands that were holding your hips were now on your neck, gripping your throat tightly and cutting off your airway.

But you like it—it's feels so good to be choked— especially by him! You want to die by his hands.. By his graceful hands.

"M-more.. More.." the word leaves you like a river flowing out, you drool once he pushes himself inside you and grunts.

The rhythm starts off slow and gentle before it proceeds to get rougher and deeper, you moan out and looks at him with a blurry vision.

Just before you could pass out—he took his hands off you just so you could breath in and you physically whine.

Just by that whine—he gradually speeds up faster, hitting the spots within you that you could never reach with a custom-made dildo of him.

Tears start slipping down your cheeks which he smiles at. He loves your tears, he loves it when you break down because of him.

More and more, you start to get crazier day by day—mad over a woman getting too close to him and oh he just loves that.

He kisses your tears away and grins at your dumbstruck face—he cums at the sight of it, pushing his seed deep inside your womb.

You're already gone the first round, he wants to do much much more with you. But first, he pulls out a gift for you.

A collar for you, he clips the collar on your neck. Now he can fuck you easily—and also show that you're his and his subordinate alone.

#aventurine smut #aventurine x reader #aventurine x y/n #aventurine x you #yandere aventurine #star rail aventurine #hsr aventurine #hsr smut #yandere hsr #aven.nav

[sinnersweets]

DogDay x Reader

part 2 ----->

A/N: My HC is that DogDay has an adult inside of him, unlike Catnap.

“Congragulations! Your application was chosen, and you are now part of the Playtime Co family! Please review all the following information provided in this email.” was all that was said in a recent email I had gotten. Finally, after weeks of job hunting, I heard back from someone, and it only took them a day to respond! I briefly skimmed through the email, knowing it was just boring company policies. At the very bottom it said that my first day was tomorrow. Wow, they sure do not waste time. I set an alarm and went to bed early, excited about my new job. 

---------------- 

When I applied, I put down that I did not mind working anywhere in the factory so imagine how surprised I was when I showed up, they told me I would be working down below in a room called ‘Playcare.’ In fact, it was highly requested that I was to be stationed there. They told me it’s where they house orphans. It’s fascinating that a factory that builds toys for kids has its own orphanage here, right in the factory! I was given a uniform to change into and the uniform was honestly quite cute! The shirt was a golden-brown color that smelled like vanilla, I was given a nametag with a sun pin attached and... a headband with dog ears the same color. I didn’t think much of it and just went to change before heading off to Playcare. 

--------------- 

I stared in awe as I looked down below at Playcare. This place was huge! I still could not believe that little kids lived here. I looked around at all the buildings. There was a school, a circus tent, a few more buildings and right up top was where all the orphans lived. Seeing all of this gave me the vibe of that one anime called ‘The Promised Neverland’ but I soon laughed at the thought. Kids do not die here, no demons feed on their brains, they get adopted. Adopted. 

--------------- 

As I exited the cable car, I was instructed to meet my boss inside of the Playhouse. While walking to the playhouse some kids would run up to me and call me ‘girl DogDay’ whatever that meant. I just smiled and waved at them before entering the Playhouse. I was not given a name for who my boss was but was just told that they would know what I looked like and would spot me. Lots of kids were in this area. All screaming and chasing each other. One of them grabbed my hand and said, “Hurry we have to hide before he finds us!” I had no time to protest as I was led behind some foam building blocks. “Um, who exactly are we hiding from?” I whispered back to the kid, might as well play along. “Shh. He has good hearing.” was all that the kid said before peeking over the blocks we were hiding at.  

--------------- 

Two minutes went by before we both heard some footsteps approaching. “He’s coming! Run!” and then the kid ran into a slide and started to climb up. I laughed at the kids' action and started to get up before I felt breathing coming from above me. I slowly lifted my head up and was shocked to see a giant dog hovering above me. “Hiya Angel!” I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t say anything, I was in shock. This enormous dog that looks like a plushy is speaking to me. “I found you which means now you get to help out with catching everyone!” The dogs tailed wagged. I stood up and got a good look at this...dog thing. He was tall, around 8 ft. He had a pendant in the shape of a sun, and he smelled like vanilla. Oh, that’s what the kids meant earlier by ‘girl DogDay,’ this is DogDay. “Come on Angel, I know if we work together, we can find all the kids before time is up” and then DogDay ran on all fours like an actual dog, in search of the other kids.  

--------------- 

I think it was safe to say that DogDay found the rest of the kids while I just knew of the one that was with me before was hiding at. As we made our way back to the entrance, I noticed the kids laughing and trying to climb onto DogDay. Maybe he’s been with them forever and that’s why they don’t seem terrified by a dog that stands 8 ft tall. DogDay looked over and saw me and the last kid approaching and waved at us. The other kids stopped what they were doing and looked in my direction. In unison they all screamed “Girl DogDay is here!” I smiled sheepishly and waved at them. “Hi there....” Did these kids know about me? DogDay then put down some kids that he was holding and walked over to me. “Sorry about that Angel, I told them that I was getting a helper the other day and they have been wanting to see you.” “Oh, that’s fine. Hey um DogDay was it? Do you happen to know who my boss is by chance? I was told to meet them in here.” The kids behind Dogday started giggling. “You’re looking at him Angel!”  

Huh? He’s joking right? This dog looking mascot is my boss?! DogDay then picked me up and hugged me tight. “We’re going to have so much fun working together Angel.” I could hear his tail wagging back in forth. He put me down and led me to the rest of the kids. “Kids, we have a new face joining us today. Why don’t you introduce yourself to us Angel.” I suddenly felt nervous. All these little eyes staring at me so excitedly. “O-okay, um well hi, my name is Angel- wait no” the kids started laughing. That wasn’t my name but hearing DogDay call me that this whole time just slipped out. DogDay was even laughing. I blushed in embarrassment. I cleared my throat and continued. “My name is Y/N, but I guess you could also call me Angel. I like to read, draw, um I guess sing, but I haven’t done it in a while. Umm, I’m 20 years old and my birthday is on November 14th and that’s pretty much it I think.”  

DogDay clapped and soon the other kids followed his lead. “Well put Angel, now it’s my turn, though I think I’ll let the kids introduce me.” All at once the kids started yelling over each other to tell me about him. “He’s the leader of the Smiling Critters!” “He smells like vanilla!” “Super strong!” “DOGDAY CALLED YOU PRETTY!!” “Okay! Thank you, Damian, no need to shout now friend.” The shift in DogDays attitude changed, he was the one that seemed nervous now. The kid that was hiding with me was named Damian. Dogday then cleared his throat. “Let’s all go outside and wait for KickenChicken now alright?” The kids yelled in delight and pushed their way out of the Playhouse. 

It was now just me and DogDay. “So, um I’m guessing you picked me to work here?” I tried breaking the awkward silence between us. I decided to not bring up the fact that he called me pretty, too awkward right now. DogDay then seemed to snap back into his cheery self. “Yep! I looked through a lot of applicants, but yours stood out to me.” It’s amazing that a toy factory lets a toy pick out an employer. DogDay then grabbed my hand and led me outside. “Come on, I’ll give you a tour of the place Angel.” I smiled and went along with him. I could see myself liking it here.  

A/N: part 2 anyone?

#sinnersweets #poppy playtime #poppy playtime chapter 3 #dogday #x reader #dogday x reader

[starryevermore]

the house of snow ✧ a royal coryo au

the king of panem is in search of a bride. and, for reasons you can never understand, coriolanus snow has set his sights on you. it would never be a happy marriage, you’re sure of that. but none of that matters, because when snow decides he wants something, he will do everything in his power to ensure it is his. (AO3) (pinterest board)

series warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, royal au, regency au, arranged marriage, rivals to lovers, obsessive!coryo, jealous!coryo, protective!coryo, eventual smut, eventual pregnancy, more tags to be added later 

TOTAL WORD COUNT (up to this point): 45,952

i DO NOT consent to my works being reposted, translated, or published on any third party site or app. if you see my work posted on any platform that is not my tumblr, my wattpad (starryevermore), or my ao3 (illiterate), it has been stolen and reposted without my permission.  

reblogs and feedback encouraged. 

my blog is strictly 18+. by clicking on the links or read more, you are agreeing that you are an adult. any minors found interacting with my blog will be blocked. 

chapter one

your parents are convinced that you will marry the king by the end of the social season. and so, too, it seems does coriolanus snow. 

chapter two

though you want nothing less than to marry coriolanus snow, he seems intent on finding you a reason to comply.

chapter three

coriolanus will make you fall in love with him one way or another. 

chapter four

you realize there is more to this than snow just wanting a bride.

chapter five

snow does not like the idea of others playing with his toy.

chapter six

now that he knows of sejanus’s interest in you, coriolanus can only think of how to keep you away from him. 

chapter seven

snow is pushing his luck with you, but you will not let his attempted slights go by. 

chapter eight

sejanus crosses a line.

chapter nine

he is in love.

chapter ten

coryo haunts your every moment.

chapter eleven

finally, coriolanus can call you his.

chapter twelve

you can’t believe that this is truly a good thing. 

chapter thirteen

coriolanus doesn’t understand why you've shut him out. 

chapter fourteen

you try to reconcile your feelings. (you fail.) 

chapter fifteen

you cannot seem to stay away. 

chapter sixteen

coriolanus gets to enjoy you.

chapter seventeen

finally, you enjoy your honeymoon. 

chapter eighteen

you say the words coriolanus is so desperate to hear. 

chapter nineteen

you and coriolanus return to the capitol. 

#the house of snow: a royal coryo au #masterlist #starrywrites #starryevermore

[mellowsadistic]

Alison sulked on her time-out stool, wondering how long she'd been sitting there. There were no clocks in her nursery, but it felt like hours since her husband had dragged her inside, changed her into one of her punishment diapers, and sat her in the corner with that stupid tiara on her head.

She squirmed a little on her seat and winced. Her bottom was still sore from the spanking she'd received earlier - her husband hadn't been at all pleased when he'd found out how much she'd spent on his credit card, and she'd had to endure almost twenty minutes kicking and crying over his lap before he'd let her up. It wasn't fair! She'd been on a shopping spree with her girlfriends! Was she just supposed to have tagged along, not buying anything? She was sure her friends had spent just as much money as she had... but she was equally sure that none of them were sitting on red bottoms right now, nor would they be wearing diapers, and not one of their houses would have a nursery in it just for them. No, they had husbands who treated them with respect, or who at least saw them as adults.

Alison felt herself going red as she imagined what her friends would say if they could see her now, being punished like a naughty toddler. She knew she ought to put her foot down and insist that she wouldn't let herself be treated like this, but it was just so hard to protest when her husband spoke to her in his authoritative voice, with that stern look in his eyes. For all her feminist ideals and principles, she never managed to do more than whimper when he told her off like a child and announced that she was getting a spanking and a stint in diapers to teach her a lesson. The little plastic tiara was the cherry on top. Her husband called it her "princess potty-pants" tiara, and she had to wear it whenever she wore her diapers. It made her feel like a stupid little girl playing dress-up, and no doubt that was exactly how he wanted her to feel.

Alison scowled around at her nursery with its stupid playmat and its mind-numbing baby toys and the dumb stuffed animals lying around everywhere. She particularly despised the oversized baby blocks sitting on the shelf that held her diapers. She did not love diapers. In fact, she hated them more than anything else in the whole world. She hated how they pushed her legs apart, she hated the way they crinkled with every movement, and most of all she hated what they were for. Alison squirmed again and pressed her thighs together as close as they would go, then let out a quite moan of distress. She needed to pee badly. She was no stranger to this kind of punishment, as the full diaper pail in the corner could attest, but somehow, no matter how many times she was forced to wet herself, it never got easier.

After another minute of increasingly desperate wiggling, she gave up. With a deep breath, Alison clenched her eyes shut and relaxed her bladder. The stream began at once. "Eww..." she whined under her breath, winkling her nose in disgust as she felt the thick padding between her legs start to swell up with pee. "Ew, ew, ewww!" Warmth spread from her crotch, but the knowledge of what she was doing rid the sensation of any pleasantness. She was peeing herself. She was wetting her diaper like an overgrown baby. Tears filled her eyes as her thick baby pants became soggier and soggier. The smell of urine reached her nose and she sobbed. She fell so small, so stupid.

Then came her husband's voice. "Alright, baby girl, time-out is over."

She looked up through her tear-filled eyes to see him walking into the room, looking highly satisfied at the sight of her desperate expression.

"Uh-oh," he said, a smirk playing at the corner of his mouth, "I think someone's had a little accident. Have you wet yourself, baby?"

Alison sobbed again and nodded. She lifted her fists to her eyes to wipe the tears from them, so she didn't notice her husband's hand until it was already sliding down the front of her diaper. She let out a squeal of protest, but it went ignored.

"Oh my, you're absolutely soaked!" he said, feeling the sodden padding in her diaper. "You really had to go, didn't you, princess potty-pants?" He withdrew his hand and tapped her on the nose. "I guess that tiara's not just for show, is it?" He straightened up. "You can stand up now, baby."

Alison got shakily to her feet, cringing as her diaper sagged heavily between her legs. It was so wet that she could feel the warm, swollen padding brushing against her thighs, and it was drooping down almost to her knees. A whine rose involuntarily in her throat, and she couldn't help flapping her hands in revulsion. It was so yucky!

"You don't like wearing wet diapers, do you, Alison?" her husband asked.

Alison bit back her retort. Of course she didn't! "No, Daddy," she said, unable to bring herself to look him in the eyes.

"And you don't like being spanked either, do you?"

There was a pause. "No, Daddy."

"Do you know why Daddy has to spank your little bottom and make you wear diapers?"

Alison clenched her fists. Now was the time. Now was the moment to tell him she wouldn't put up with this anymore.

"Because I'm a silly little girl," she said meekly, staring at the carpet, "and it's the only way I'll learn."

"Good girl. You can stay in that wet diaper for a few more hours to really drive the lesson home. I'll change you into a clean one at bedtime. Now take Daddy's hand, soggy-britches. Let's go and have a cuddle, okay?"

"Yes, Daddy!"

#mellowsadistic

[markster666]

INTRODUCTION / MASTERLIST - MARKSTER666 (18+) ♡

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Hello everyone! I'm a 20 year old psychology student with a love for writing. Welcome to my one and only writing (and shitposting) account. I have a hard time sticking with one fandom, but I mostly write reader inserts being paired with canon characters. I do take requests as well! Please check my bio to confirm that requests are open.

A lot of my content involves mature subjects and I strongly advise anyone under the age of 18 to steer clear from my profile.

MASTERLIST:

Last Updated: 2/29/24

Total Works: 22

Hazbin Hotel:

SFW:

Alastor:

Every Thought, You. (Alastor x Fem!Reader)

Alastor Reacting To Stereotypical Activist Gen Zer

NSFW:

Alastor:

Breeding B*tch (Alastor x Fem!Reader)

Tentacles (Alastor x Fem!Reader)

Cleanliness Is Next To - Oh Wait. (Alastor x Fem!OC RP Thread)

Good To Be Back On The Air! (Alastor x Fem!Reader)

Kinktober Day #1: Dry Humping (Alastor x Fem!Reader)

Kinktober Day #2: Face F*cking (Alastor x Fem!Reader)

Kinktober Day #3: Begging (Alastor x Fem!Reader)

Kinktober Day #4: Masturbation (Alastor x Fem!Reader)

Kinktober Day #5: Daddy Kink (Alastor x Fem!Reader)

Kinktober Day #6: Overstimulation (Alastor x Fem!Reader)

Kinktober Day #7: Praising (Alastor x Fem!Reader)

Kinktober Day #8: Sound Kink (Alastor x Fem!Reader)

Kinktober Day #9: Mirror Sex (Alastor x Fem!Reader)

Kinktober Day #10: Orgasm Control (Alastor x Fem!Reader)

Kinktober Day #11: Face Sitting (Alastor x Fem!Reader)

Kinktober Day #12: Lingerie Kink (Alastor x Fem!Reader)

Kinktober Day #13: Deep Throating (Alastor x Fem!Reader)

Kinktober Day #14: Roleplay (Alastor x Fem!Reader)

Kinktober Day #15: Food Play (Alastor x Fem!Reader)

Kinktober Day #16: Car Sex (Alastor x Fem!Reader)

Kinktober Day #17: Toys (Alastor x Fem!Reader) Kinktober Day #18: Uniform Kink (Alastor x Fem!Reader)

Kinktober Day #19: Morning Sex (Alastor x Fem!Reader)

Kinktober Day #21: Unprotected Sex (Alastor x Fem!Reader) -I skipped #20-

Anybody (over the age of 18) is welcome to show up in my dms and chat with me or put in a request! I don't bite.

It is NOT guaranteed that I will do your request nor is it guaranteed that I will do it quickly. I get writing blocks sometimes or I just genuinely can’t think of a good plot for your scenario yet but I’ll try my best.

SMUT / NSFW REQUESTS ARE ONLY CONSIDERED / ACCEPTED IF YOU HAVE CONFIRMATION THAT YOU'RE AN ADULT ON YOUR PROFILE. THANK YOU.

I have a pretty screwed up mind and will write about a lot so really, throw a prompt at me lol. I will also NOT do oc x oc, character x character, and character x oc.

FANDOMS

Helluva Boss

Hazbin Hotel

Five Night's At Freddy's

Harry Potter

South Park

SAW

WILL NOT WRITE (LIMITS):

P*dophilia

Scat / Pee / Vomit play

Female on Male Domination

N*crophilia

(If you have a taboo topic you want me to write about but I don't have it listed, feel free to ask!)

Vore

Thank you so much for visiting my blog and I hope I can hear from some of you soon!

⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆

#intro post #blog intro #introductory post #pinned intro #hazbin hotel fanfiction #hazbin hotel #fanfictions #fanfic authors #smut writing #x reader #masterlist #18+ only #18+ content #18+ blog #18+ account #minors dni #sexy content #10/10 would recommend #SoundCloud

[woso-dreamzzz]

Keeper

Hardersson x Child!Reader

Part of The Big Adventures Universe

Summary: You join the keepers at training

Your path was set almost as soon as Zećira signed for Not-Wolfsburg.

Her first practice had you toddling away from your Momma and giving her a big hug.

"Hi, y/n," She had said to you and it was at that moment that you decided that there was nothing more fun than being attached to Zećira every practice.

"Okay, princesse," Morsa makes sure that your braids on done up tightly and that your special Scooby Doo backpack is secure on your back," Be good for Zećira, okay?"

You roll your eyes. "I'm always good for Zećira. I'm her best girl!"

Morsa looks down at you fondly, a kiss laid on your head as Momma ties your laces.

"You're our best girl too," Momma reminds you, pressing her own kiss to your cheek," Off you go then, princesse, have fun with Zećira."

Your new guardian is waiting for you by the locker room door. You take her hand.

Ann-Katrin is already practicing when you approach and she smiles at you. You smile back a little warily, she's very tall and very intimidating sometimes.

Zećira gets you set up just behind the goal with snacks, drinks and your toys. She smooths down your flyaways. "Are you going to be okay, here?"

You nod.

"You come get me if you need anything."

To your credit, you're pretty lowkey. You're happy with your toys and your snacks. Morsa and Momma haven't ever given you a tablet or ipad and tv time at home is strictly regulated so you know how to keep yourself occupied.

But today, you find yourself watching Zećira and Ann-Katrin practice. You've seen Momma practice with the other forwards before and Morsa with the defenders but none of it ever interested you much.

But, watching from your place behind the goal, you were very interested. You glance around for your Momma and Morsa before you scooch off the blanket you're sitting on. You continue to bum shuffle onto the grass of the pitch until you're peering around the left goalpost, watching as Ann-Katrin goes for a dive.

You grin and clap as she saves it and Zećira looks at you fondly. She approaches and crouches in front of you. "I thought I left you on your blanket?" She teases, picking you up under your arms.

"I watch," You say. You poke at her gloves. "Momma and Morsa don't have to wear them."

"Magda and Pernille don't have our job," Zećira says," We have one of the most important jobs."

"You stop the goals."

"We stop the goals." Ann-Katrin joins you now. She looks a little less intimidating now as she drops down onto a knee. "Do you want to try?" She holds out a pair of gloves.

You look to Zećira for permission, because you know she's in charge when Momma and Morsa aren't there. She nods.

You nod too and Ann-Katrin places them on your hands. They're a little big on you, obviously made for adults but you don't really care, just happy to be wearing them.

They feel nice in a way that you can't explain and, when Zećira kicks a ball into your hands, they feel even better.

With the goalkeeper coach happy to let the three of you muck around, Ann-Katrin stands behind you, coaching you side to side to block Zećira's shots (and helping you stop the ones that just slip past your gloves).

You're mostly successful and it makes you feel all good and fluttery inside - more so than when Momma lets you play around with her and Sam or when Morsa and Millie try to train you into a 'brick wall' or something.

You beam down at Zećira as Ann-Katrin lets you ride on her shoulders.

"A natural!" Zećira proclaims," The future first goalkeeper of Sweden!"

You keep smiling as you're carted around and, when the coach makes the pair go back to work, he lets you stand by him, explaining what he was making them do and why it helped.

You're extremely happy by the time you're given back over to your mothers.

You happily chat away to Momma about your exciting day with the keepers and she oohs and aahs suitably over your rapid fire explanations (while hiding the disappointment she's feeling at your clear lack of interest in being a forward).

Zećira grins cockily at Magda as she approaches, slapping her friend on the back. "Here," She says," I completely forgot that I had these earlier."

She presses child-sized keeper's gloves into Magda's hand.

Magda raises an unimpressed brow. "And you just happened to have these lying around your house?"

Zećira shrugs unconcernedly as she and Magda look at you and Pernille. "What can I say? I had a feeling."

#woso x reader #hardersson x reader #pernille harder x reader #pernille harder #magdalena eriksson x reader #magdalena eriksson #woso community #woso fanfics #woso imagine #woso #The Big Adventures Universe

[petri808]

I love Temu. Move over expensive Legos lol I’ll take the generic reasonable priced toy block sets any day.

#adults playing with toys #kids toys #fuck jigsaw puzzles I’d rather play with blocks lol

[babywriter]

You were visiting your parents for the first time in a few months, but even then it surprised you when they came to greet you outside.

“Hi, honey! How are you?” your mother said while giving you a hug in the driveway.

“I’m fine. Is something going on?” 

“No, no. Well…” your mother gave a quick look to your father. “There have been some changes.”

“Like?”

“Your sister moved back in with us.”

That your sister, who as far as you knew had her life together, would move back in with your parents was strange to say the least.

“Did something happen?” you asked.

“Not exactly, we just came to an agreement.” your mother said.

“Then why didn’t she come out?”

“Oh, she’s in her room.”

The lack of worrying news in spite of the odd situation was, ironically, worrying in itself. 

“Can I… come in?” you asked your parents who were just standing there, smiling, but blocking you from entering their house.

“Yes, of course!” they said as all three of you went into the house. Immediately, you wanted to go say hi to your sister.

“Where are you going?” asked your mother as if you were trespassing.

“To say hi to Heidi?”

“Let’s go with you.” your father said.

You didn’t believe you needed to be chaperoned to do that. It was all just mildly weird.  Yet, when you saw Heidi’s door, you understood this was the root cause of all this weirdness. This grown woman suddenly had pink butterflies on her door, something that she hadn’t had since she was twelve. 

The door was open and Heidi’s room looked like the entrance to a pink and fuzzy dreamscape. You walked into the room and found out it was a nursery. Meanwhile, your sister, in pigtails, was playing with baby toys in the middle of it. She was wearing a purple power-puff girls t-shirt, which was already very childish as far as you were concerned, and a thick white diaper.

“What-” you turned towards your parents for some explanation.

“She wanted this.” your mother said.

So you turned back to your sister, who was now sitting and looking directly at you.

“You want this?”

Heidi nodded while sucking her pacifier.

“I don’t understand.” you said to your parents in the living room.

“She asked to be our baby girl again, that’s all.” your mother said.

“And you said yes? You didn’t want a, you know, adult daughter?”

“I mean, she’s very cute. You have to admit that.”

“Yes, but that’s not- It’s weird.”

“Yes, a little. But for all purposes, she’s a baby now.”

“All purposes?”

Your mother nodded. “Those diapers are really comfortable. Go play with your sister a bit and then we’ll see how you feel”

So you went back to see Heidi and you kneeled down to her height. She was playing with a baby doll. Smiling, she handed you the toy. You played pretend and…it was fun. The carpet was incredibly fluffy, the room was cozy and warm. It was comfortable. You didn’t question when Heidi crawled to get you a diaper. The thick, soft padding did look comfortable, as your mother had said. You let yourself be laid on your back. You didn’t fight when Heidi removed your pants and you obeyed when she put the diaper on you. Such a blissful environment far away from any source of stress, how could it not charm you? You went back to playing with your sister. Meanwhile, the nursery’s door opened slowly, your mother was watching over the two of you.

“Guess I’ll have two babies to change from now on.”

#ab/dl girl #ab/dl caption #ab/dl #ab/dl stories #diaper captions #ab/dl fiction #ab/dl community

[omnomnomdomcaps]

Nevermore - Remastered

Another Spooky Season remaster, this time featuring some awesome original art from @spaced-goddess. Go check her blog out!

“Alright now, up we go,” came Mrs. Winthrop’s soft voice, as she picked her onesie-clad student up from the classroom floor and placed her onto her desk, their school principal looking on as she did. “Can’t be having a talk with you while you’re crawling around on the floor.” 

Amber didn’t resist. She didn’t say anything, didn’t fight back against her teacher’s choice of words - after all, walking without tripping seemed to have become her latest challenge, and she had the carpet burns on her knees to prove it. Without a word of protest, the girl allowed herself to be picked up and placed on the desk, hiding her blushing face away as much as she could. 

This was a far cry from the girl who first arrived in Mrs. Winthrop’s preschool classroom on Halloween day, half a year before. That Amber was headstrong and defiant, fuming constantly that some saboteur had seemingly drugged her and messed with her brain, leading her down a road of failed tests and embarrassing accidents. She was furious that she had to drop out of the college and come here to relearn her basics, and she let everyone around know it. 

That Amber was proud. She was sure of herself. And even through all of her setbacks, she was confident. “Whatever,” she would snarl, “fine.I’ll just re-do some stuff and get out of here. I’m still an adult. I’m still better than all these dumb little brats.” 

As the school year wore on, though, those “dumb little brats” could actually keep up with their preschool lessons. And Amber? Not so much. 

While her classmates learned their numbers and letters and shapes, Amber just stared blankly, trying and failing to understand what the teacher was talking about, only to be distracted by the slightest hint of a pretty bird or a squirrel outside the window. Again and again, those “dumb little brats” ended up having to help her with shape blocks and stacking rings, while they played with their ‘advanced’ toys. Again and again, they would have to remind Amber to use the potty - or, more often, tell Mrs. Winthrop when the girl had an accident. 

Maybe, if Amber had known that she was under a witch’s curse, she wouldn’t have been so shocked at how it all turned out. Maybe, if she had heard the incantation, heard that the spell would lower her abilities to the level of her maturity, she would have understood why her stubborn attitude wasn’t getting her anywhere. But of course, these were truths she never would have accepted, or believed. 

“Amber, sweetie,” Mrs. Winthrop began, “we need to talk about your progress.”

The girl said nothing. Her face was turned away, her hands hidden between her legs.

“Now now,” the principal chimed in, a stern air of authority in his voice, “your teacher made you a very special potty chart, don’t you remember?”

Amber turned her eyes briefly to the wall, turning them back just as quickly. It was embarrassing for her to think about - the way her teacher had set it all up to help encourage her re-training, the whole class cheering her on like their little sister as she proudly donned her training pants. But of course, her results were anything but encouraging, and she was soon taken out of pullups altogether.

“Do you think you did a good job with your potty training?” Mrs. Winthrop asked.

The girl hung her head in silence. 

“And do you think you’ve been doing a good job with your preschool lessons?” the teacher added. 

“N-no,” Amber finally muttered, tears beginning to well in her eyes.

“And do you know what we’re going to have to do now?” came the principal, his arms crossed as he stood in front of the girl.

“Am I… Am I gonna havta stay in preschool again next year?” Amber's voice began to crack. 

Mrs. Winthrop let out a heavy sigh. “No, honey… I’m afraid it doesn’t look like you’re ready for preschool at all.”  

The girl was in shock. “B-b-b-b-” she stammered, “but… but I’m a big girl! I’m a big girl!”

 “Oh?” the principal offered flatly, “And what do you think makes you a big girl?”

“‘Cause - ‘cause I’m…” Amber took her hands out from between her legs, trying to emulate the “I’m this many!” gesture that her classmates would often make. She wanted to show that she was nineteen… or was it twenty now? Was twenty more than nineteen? Would she need to use more fingers than the other preschoolers did? After all, she was a lot bigger than they were. But then again, they were a lot smarter than she was…  

“Oh dear,” Mrs. Winthrop intervened, motioning the girl’s hands back toward her lap, “I think the poor thing’s gone and confused herself again.”

It was at that moment that another set of footsteps made their way into the classroom, and they belonged to Tom, Amber’s college boyfriend. Through all her failures and misadventures, he was the only one who stuck by her, seeming to enjoy having to take care of her more and more. And now, here he was again to pick her up from school.

“Daddy!” the girl blurted out instantly - he’d encouraged her to start calling him that, and it came naturally to her now - “They tolded me I can’t go preschool! They tolded me I’m not ready! But I’m a big girl! Big girl! Big girl big girl BIG GIRL!!” Amber shrieked, pounding the desk with her balled-up fists as the tears began to stream down her face.

“Oh my,” Tom turned to the two adults, unfazed, “has she been causing trouble?”

“Ah, you know how she can be,” Mrs. Winthrop shrugged, “I’m sure it hasn’t been easy for her, trying to keep up with these classes with the level she’s at.” 

“Maybe,” Tom nodded, a wry smile beginning to form, “or maybe she just needs a change and a nap.

“Up we go, princess,” he turned to the girl, lifting her from the table and into his arms, “time to go home.” 

“BIG GUWL!” Amber kept shouting, hands still waving in the air, “BIG GUWL! BIG GUWL!”

“I’m sure you will be one day,” her boyfriend-turned daddy assured her, patting her padded bottom, “but for now, we’re gonna find you a nice daycare, and first we gotta change you out of that stinky diapy.”

“But I’m not stin-” the girl protested meekly, before freezing halfway through.

That, of course, was when the smell and the sensation hit her. Of course she was stinky - she'd probably filled her diaper while shouting about what a big girl she was, while insisting that she belonged in a preschool where she was nothing more than the pants-pooping laughing stock of the class. 

As the last remnants of her pride crumbled away, Amber started to imagine just how far she had left to fall. She wondered, as she was carried away from that classroom for the last time, was she going to be the laughing stock of her daycare, too? It was all too much for her mind to handle, and so the girl simply started to bawl. She cried, helplessly, like the little baby she had become. She cried, helplessly, like the little baby she had now been for months. She cried, helplessly, like the little baby she was going to be for a long, long time.     

#ab/dl community #ab/dl caption #diaper captions

[scarletwinterxx]

wait for your love - haechan scenario

hellloooo so this one is a request. I've mentioned it before, i'm still not the best at writing angst but I try😅 when i saw this request, a few scenes immediately popped in my head. Hope you like it🥺 also I was listening to We Can't Be Friends by Ariana on repeat while writing this.

Also a short anecdote, when I saw nct dream last year during Sorry, Heart stage I literally bawled my eyes out. Like full on ugly sobbing in my seat haha I was okay during the first verse but when it got to Haechan's turn to sing the chorus the tears just went falling like waterfalls

ANYWAYSSSSSS

For my other works you can check them out here, and for my other story series’ you can check them out here.

and if you want, u can buy me coffee(totally optional but any donation is very much appreciated!) thank you🥺💛

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2024 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

(gif not mine, credits to rightful owner)

"What are we then?"

Those words shouldn't scare Haechan as much as it does. He hates it too. He hates how he can't say it to you but he doesn't want to let you go either.

He hates this grey area the two of you are in now.

"We're us. Isn't that enought?" he asks back

"For fuck's sake, we've been seeing each other for what? like 2 years now? And until now you still can't commit? I can't call you my boyfriend, you don't like it when people ask if we're dating"

"Because it's none of their fucking business"

"Well it's my business, I'm asking you right now, what the hell am I to you?" you stare at him, waiting for an answer. Any answer.

At this point hearing him say you don't mean anything to him would make more sense than the usual silence he'd give you.

"Baby, please I don't want to argue" he mumbles

"See, this is what you do all the time. I'm not a play toy. I'm not some past time you can call whenever you're bored, Haechan. We're adults now. I've invested my time, my feelings, a fraction of my life to you. For this. And you can't even answer me, is that too much to ask? Am I too much?"

You look at him, waiting for him to argue back. You didn't know it was this draining to be in a relationship or situationship or whatever it is you have with him. At some point you got tired of asking him what this all means. When it's clear he's not going to answer you, you stood up from your seat

"I can't do this" you whispered

"What?"

"I can't. I can't do what you're asking, Haechan" you speak clearer this time

He waits a few moments, letting the words sink in.

"What do you mean? I thought you said... you said we can"

With every word he tries not to show he's breaking right and the only thing keeping him together is you, and here you are about to slip through his fingers.

"We can't keep all promises, right? Like how you promised you'll try. This isn't trying."

"Baby-" "Don't" you cut him off. You know it will be a lot harder to walk away if you hear him call you that, it's already hard on you now.

"This is me letting you go" were your last words to him before walking away. You wipe the few tears that escaped, plastering a very fake smile before taking the first step away.

One of many you'd try to take just to get away from this heartbreak.

You would want to say that's not how it ended, that he changed his mind and finally mustered the courage to call you and say what he's really thinking. You want to say that he came the next day and surprised you, knocking on your door holding sunflowers for you.

But no.

After that day you never heard from him again. When you got the (unspoken) message that he'll never try to reach out and fix things between the two of you, you blocked him on everything. Your friends didn't ask questions, you went on with your life. Trying your best to bury and let that part of your story go.

From spending every day and most nights together to being strangers. You acted like he never existed to cover up the hurt you're feeling.

It's been over a year since that. You haven't really cried about it. Not even the day after he left. It's like you're just a shell now. You locked everything in a pandora box in your head, to be forgotten for the rest of time.

"Hey did you hear Dreamers new song?" your roommate asks the moment she steps through the door. You were sitting on the dinning chair, stacks of works and your laptop infront of you

She hears the song playing in the background, "Of course you have, it's good right?" she smiles

"Mhm, I like it"

"Sorry, Heart. Definitely an anthem for the broken hearted" she says withouth meaning out, "I meant like you know it's a sad song" she adds

You chuckle, she probably thinks this song is very fitting for you and you kinda agree with her.

"Anyways, I'm going to the lounge later. Want to come with?"

"Sounds good, I actually need to go out, stretch my legs and get some fresh air"

"Okay, let's leave after lunch"

You met with other friends at the lounge, chatting and sharing notes together. It was a good way to pass time. These days you find that it's best to keep yourself occupied so as not to think about things you'd rather not think about. You kept yourself busy. Finding random hobbies, fixation. For a while you liked running after class, then you got into baking, then crocheting. Activities that keeps you busy, distracted long enough not to remember.

One day you were at a record store, your newest hobby. Browsing for a new record to take home. Today out of the days you forgot to bring your headphones so you hum along the music playing in the store.

While reading the back of the record you were holding, you hear it.

A familiar voice you haven't heard in a long time, a voice you didn't think you'd hear again.

Your head shoots up, looking at the other side of the aisle.

You'd know his voice anywhere. You can be inside the loudest room and you'd still be able to single out his voice.

There he stands right across you, signing out your favorite bands newest song while he has his headphones on. Probably not realizing he's singing a bit too loud.

When Haechan felt someone staring at him, he looks up not expecting you to be looking back at him. He blinks a few times, comtemplating if this was all a dream or he's going crazy and started to hallucinate.

Immediately you put back the record you were holding and ran out the store. Once again leaving Haechan behind.

You're already far by the time he takes the steps to follow you, thinking this time he's not going to make the same mistake but you were already gone.

He knows you blocked him. Of course he tried to call you but his efforts were shut down when he couldn't reach you or his messages won't deliver.

Similar to you, he tried to find distractions. To drown out the thoughts, he drinks, goes out to parties, too many nights he drunk texted you, saying how much he missed you only to see it in the morning unsent. Most of the time there's music directly blasting through his ears. Music being his only escape from his own thoughts, if he's left long enough it's like his own mind is beating him up.

That's how he got into collecting records. He was on the look out for this new record so he decided to drop by the store that day. He didn't expect to see you there.

Out of all the places he'd see you again.

He's not going to lie, he imagined this moment many times before. Even rehearsed what he'd say to you when he see you again but now that it happened he just froze on the spot.

Just like that it's like he back in his room, watching you walk out his door for the last time. He's back to square one.

It's been weeks and no sign of Haechan. It's a good thing, you think.

Also you've been subtly avoiding going to public places just in case you accidently see him again. You thought you're ready, but the moment you saw him it's like all of these emotions you've repressed since you left came back again.

Your roommate finally convinced you to come out. A few of you were gathering for karaoke night. You almost said no again but you need a night out, one more night in your room might just drive you crazy.

"Oh my gosh, girlie you're hereeeee" one of your friends squeals when she saw you walk in the room

"I'm here as a spectator, not to sing" you tell her, accepting the bottle of beer she hands you

"Alright by me, you better cheer the loudest when I sing"

You got invited to karaoke night. A couple of students from campus got together tonight to hang out for chill night. Even though you don't really sing, you do enjoy hanging out with your friends.

You were talking to another friend when suddenly you hear the intro to a familiar song being sung by a familiar voice.

왜 이리도 쉽게 토라지는지? (Why do I become mad so easily) 내 맘이 작아서 너무 한심하지? (It's pathetic that my heart is so small right?)

You look over the makeshift stage to see Haechan holding the mic, singing out one of your favorite songs.

어떻게 널 볼까? (How can I see you?) 밤새 뒤척인 맘의 조각들 반짝이지 않아 (I toss and torn all night The fragments of my heart don't shine) 난 알고 있는데 내가 할 수 있는 건 (I know it, what I can do is) "I'm sorry", 그 말뿐이란 걸 (Only those words)

Before the chorus starts, Haechan looks through the crowd finding you. He looks straight at you as if he's singing every word to you.

Words you wished you heard from him a long time ago.

Tell me why I let you down Any chance I get, I'm breaking down 잘못인 걸 다 아는데 (아는데), 왜 힘든 걸까? (I know I'm at fault but why is it tiring?) To tell you that I'm sorry, heart

For the rest of the song the two of you look at each other. You listen to him, imagining it was really him who was saying those words and not through the song.

When he finished, you stood up to go outside and get some fresh air.

Of course he's here. Luck was never on your side and fate seems to like playing jokes on you.

Haechan watches your back, giving the mic to the next person before following you out. You hear the footsteps behind you, knowing who it might be without looking back.

You're now at the rooftop of the building, a fewer people were hanging out here than inside. Feeling another presence beside you but they haven't said anything yet.

Even though you already know who it was, you don't say anything instead you get another beer from a nearby cooler and passing it over to Haechan without a word.

For a while neither of you said anything, watching the view in front of you.

“I get flashbacks when I see you and not the good kind” you finally speak out loud

“You’re saying that like I was the worst thing that ever happened to you” he snickers, holding the bottle up to his lips to drink his beer

He really didn’t think you’d talk to him or even acknowledge his existence at all. But now here you are, at some rooftop at a party he least expected to see you. 

He’s trying not to be too obvious but he can’t keep his eyes off of you. Maybe it was the way the light hit your face, or how the cold breeze was hitting his skin and yours. The moment he arrived he was kind of hoping to find you here tonight. He knew some of your friends were coming, you did use to have the same circle of friends until he started to distance himself.

He's glad though knowing you found good people who'll be there for you.

He's looking at you again, not being able to stop himself. It was at this moment he realized. Realized something he never thought he was ever capable of ever doing again. 

Feeling. Loving. Falling and accepting. 

The sound of horns from cars and the murmuring people in the background, the city lights in front the two of you and the stars as the witnesses. Witness for something that’s about to unfold.

It was scary. This new found knowledge scared him. 

In the past it was scary to him to even think about being tied down. To be committed to someone. All of this comes from his fear of failing. He wanted to tell you that before, the last day before you ended things between the two of you he wanted to let you know the reason why he couldn’t set things straight with you was because he was scared of letting you down. He was scared you might feel trapped. 

It's wasn't you who was too much for him. He was the one who felt like he was too much for you. He thought he was being too fast, too careless. His fears got the better of him, costing him a future with you.

You walked away and everything in his life got worse. Like the only light in his life was extinguished. 

Right now feels like that one chance to get things right. Even though he still feels scared, this time he’s willing to take that risk for you.

There are other things to be scared of, like your gaze. It was the way you were looking at him.

Like you can just consume all of him with those eyes. How you’re saying a thousand words with them without saying a single syllable.

One look into his own eyes and he's ready to surrender everything to you.

“Do you really want to hear my answer to that or are you still emotionally unavailable?” you ask, taking a sip of your own drink. 

“At what point did you realize you liked me? Like really liked me?” he asked instead, all he got was a laugh from you. You were laughing out loud like it was the funniest joke you’ve ever heard. 

“We were watching a movie, I mumbled something under my breath. I think it was something along the lines of ‘oh that’s so cute’, talking to myself. Then I felt you hold my hand, you kissed it before holding it in yours for the rest of the movie. It’s not the grandest gesture but at that moment I felt so content. It was all I wanted but I knew you didn’t think the same way” you smile sadly recalling that memory. Giving him an answer, wondering why you did.

"I guess I never said sorry, I'm sorry"

You shrug, taking another swig from your drink. "What's done is done. I would say no hard feelings but I kinda do hate you for what you did"

"Good. I'd be sadder if you said you didn't care. Hate isn't the opposite of love, it's indifference" he says

"Was that what you felt for me before? Indifference?" you can't help but ask, in your mind you're not sure if you're ready to hear his answer but it's too late to take it back

He shakes his head, drinking the rest of his drink before standing straight to face you

"I felt more for you, more than I ever said. In that I was wrong, I admit. I should've told you. It might be no use in telling you now, but I did feel something for you. I was being stupid and was too scared to admit it"

"Then why are you telling me now?"

"Because I realized not having you in my life is scarier than the thoughts in my head. I was too scared of my own mind, I sacrificed you instead when I shouldn't have. I could've told you. I wish I told you"

You listen to him, letting it sink in. For so long you asked just what went wrong, what you could've done differently or what would've happened if you stayed.

"I waited, I waited until you told me you liked me. But the more I waited, the more I started to not like myself. I knew I deserved more but I stayed because I wanted to be with you. You were always first to me" you say

Hearing you say those words breaks something in him. He did like you, he still likes you. Haechan has always kept a safe distance from everyone, you were the only exception.

"I'm glad we got to talk" you say to him with a smile, then you walk back inside.

This time Haechan didn't follow you because he knows this won't be the last time he sees you.

"Oh my gosh, so that's what happened between the two of you?"

After that conversation with Haechan, you went back to your place and called it a night. The next day your roommate noticed you were staring blankly into space, out of concern she asked you what's wrong. You told her all that happened in the past 24 hours then you told her all about your history with Haechan.

"Yep, I haven't seen him around campus that much after that"

"You know, one of his friends is my blockmate and we go to the same gym. I heard he did an exchange program for a year, maybe that's why you haven't seen him around" she tells you

"Oh really, he did mention it before. Maybe he went through with it" you mumbled

"So you guys were like in a situationship then?"

"I guess so. We weren't exclusive, but he was the only guy I was seeing for like 2 years. Remember when I was barely home"

"Oh! That was him? He used to like send food here all the time whenever you were busy studying"

"What?"

"Oh my god I forgot to tell you that? yea this was like when you guys were a thing. During exam season or when you're busy with reports and stuff, he'd drop off food for you" she tells you

"I thought you had those delivered"

"Girl no, half of the time he leaves it at our door. The only reason I know is because I caught him one time and he fessed up"

No, you definitely didn't know that.

Haechan never told you. He never told you anything. At some point you thought it was better to not ask instead of being met with silence as a reply.

One thing you know though is he's the type to take action rather than say it. You won't be surprised if he did it before, he might not be good at expressing himself but he never passed the chance to make you feel like you're the only girl in his world.

It feels like that was another lifetime ago, that at some point in your life you'd rather be the backburner than totally lose him.

Seeing him again was no help. It's like you spiraled down again. You thought he didn't have this effect on you anymore but you were wrong. You'd be lying if you say you haven't thought of him since you saw him last.

What you didn't know was Haechan felt exactly the same. He's trying to think of a way to reach out to you without seeming to needy, he didn't want you to think he's forcing himself back into your life.

Another week has passed and still no sign of you. He decided to get drinks with his friends, he's a few drinks in when he decided to call it an early night. This really wasn't where he wanted to be.

He's not sure where he wants to be. All he knows is his night would be a thousand times better if he sees you, even just a glimpse.

On his walk back to his place, he plucked a branch from a random plant. Picking out the leaves one by one, leaving a trail behind him.

You're on your way back from the library, deciding to get some midnight snacks first. You noticed the scattered leaves on the road, chuckling at the sight. The more steps you take, you slowly realized it's the same path to your apartment.

You slowed down, looking around to check if anybody was close to you but the street is empty. You grab your phone in your pocket just in case, while you hold your keys with the other hand.

When you're nearing your front door, you see someone sitting at the steps. Head lying low, you can't even see his face but you'd know that brown mop of hair anywhere.

"Haechan?" you called out for him

Haechan looks up, seeing you walking towards him. At first he thinks he's dreaming, he wipes his eyes to clear his vision. Even pinched his arm to check if this was real.

You're here.

He's here.

"What are you doing here?" you asked once you're standing right in front of him

"I grabbed drinks with Yangyang and Jeno, I swear I was walking home. I guess I got confused" he mumbles, now holding a branch with no leaves on it.

You look at it, then looked back at the trail of leaves behind you.

"Do you want to come in? Go drink some water or coffee first before you head back" you offered

"Are you sure?" he asks back, standing up from the steps

"Wouldn't offer if I wasn't. Let's go inside, it's getting chilly"

He steps aside to let you go first, following behind you. The elevator ride up to your floor was quiet, even after going in your apartment Haechan didn't say a word.

"Here, have some water. I can make coffee but it's too late to drink it, do you want ramen or something?" you ask him while getting the snacks you got out of the grocery bag

"Do you usually ask guys to come in with you and cook ramen for them?" he asks

He meant to only think of it, but with the little amount of alcohol in his system seems to have turn the filter off.

You snicker at his question. Instead of answering him, you grab two ramen cup noodles from your cupboard and turn the kettle on. You wait for the red light to turn green before pouring it in the cups, bringing it over the kitchen island and taking the seat beside him.

"I can't even order late night snacks without thinking about you, we used to do it all the time when I came over at yours or when we're having late night hangouts. You ruined a lot of things for me" you finally say

Haechan just looks at your profile. Even though you say it like that, there's really no trace of anger on your face. Maybe you are, but to him you look so pretty and cozy. He wanted to beat himself up for ever thinking he can walk away from this. From you.

"For what it's worth, whenever I get drunk I used to text you all the time. You probably blocked me because the messages never got delivered. Every morning I see that on my phone, message after message until I lost count. I knew you weren't going to answer but I still did it"

"Why?" you ask him

"I missed you. I wanted to tell you I was being stupid, I wanted to beg for you to take me back. But all of those thing I could only say with a bit of help from alcohol. That's how I knew I couldn't go back, not yet anyways. You deserved more than drunken confessions"

You look over at him, for the first time since that night you really look at him. The same eyes that used to feel like home to you.

He looked so different yet the same.

You still feel the same.

"It's been 3 minutes, you hate soggy noodles" you nod at his ramen. Opening your own cup to start eating. Neither of you said anything after that. It wasn't awkward, you actually enjoyed the quiet.

For the first time since Haechan came back and you saw him again, your mind was at peace. You weren't overthinking things. You weren't wondering your long list of what if's.

It's like a part of you knew he's finally here again.

After the quick snack session, he helped you clean up before walking towards the door.

"Thank you for the uh snacks and water" he didn't know what to say, a shy Haechan is a rare sight so you can't help but smile.

Haechan sees this, he can feel his own cheeks redden. You still look so beautiful when you smile, so beautiful that he's ready to fight anyone who makes you smile that isn't him.

"Go home, it's late. You're sober now right?" you ask him

"Yea, I'm good"

"Okay, don't want you getting confused and going to someone else's front door"

"I promise I won't drunk text you again so will you unblock me now? Or if you have a new number you can text me or whatever. Actually you know what, do whatever makes you feel comfortable. Don't listen to me, I'm just blabbing now"

You can't help but giggle at him, the action making Haechan's heart skip a few beats.

"I'm imagining this is how those drunk texts would sound like" you say

"I missed you, Y/N" he mumbles

You don't say anything. He can hear his own heartbeating, each thump like it's the last then you're smiling back at him

"Goodnight, Haechan"

He smiles at you, waving goodbye before finally walking out. He gestures for you to close the door behind him, only leaving after he hears the lock from the other side. He skips back home.

The next few days were back to normal, you weren't feeling gloomy. You were going out with friends. All in all, you're in a great mood.

"Hey, somebody left this outside. Tell me I'm crazy but is this from Haechan?" your roommate hands you over a small bouquet of flowers with a paper bag full of snacks.

"Uh yeah, I think so"

"I know things didn't end well between the two of you, but the boy is still so whipped for you" she mumbles, watching the small smile on your face

"Maybe it's just a peace offering"

"Right, well whatever it might be I say go for it. As long as you're happy"

You look up at her, shocked to hear that all of a sudden "Isn't that what you're worrying about? You really think I didn't notice it, you were listening to Sorry, Heart on repeat the other day then now you're listening to love songs. If he's it for you, then give it a chance"

She left after that, leaving you alone at home.

You take the gifts Haechan sent to your room, putting the flowers in a vase. You see a small note attached,

xx12131xxx just in case you lost it or changed your number. - H

You get your phone and dial the number, it's still in your phone. You unblock it first before you click call, waiting a few rings before you hear his voice

"Y/N?"

"How did you know it was me?"

"I wasn't expecting anyone else, and uh it looks like you didn't change your number"

"Oh yea uhm so you're unblocked now" you told him, not really sure what else to say

He chuckles, "Thanks, so I'm guessing you got the flowers and the snacks?"

"Yeah, thanks by the way. Why though?"

"You shared your stash with me the other night, just wanted to pay you back"

"You didn't have to, I offered. But thanks again"

"Hey uh are you busy right now? or tomorrow or really whenever you're free"

"I don't have anymore classes today"

"Do you want to go grab coffee or food or anything really. Whatever you want, my treat"

If someone told you you'd be going out to get drinks with Haechan, you'd say they're out of their mind. But here you are, visiting a new cafe you've never been to with a guy you thought you'd never be with again.

"I'd get the taro milktea, thanks"

"I'll take this one" he points at the drink in the picture, "And two of the cookies please, thank you" he pulls out his card to pay for the both of you. When you got your drinks and food, you walked back outside to sit on the vacant seats. The weather was nice, it wasn't too hot or too cold. A perfect day to be out.

You open your drink, taking a quick sip while Haechan does the same. You notice he made the face, like when he drinks or eats something sour.

"It's lemon flavored isn't it?" you chuckle, taking the drink from him and giving yours to him instead

"No, it's fine. I'll drink it"

"You hate anything sour flavored, I like lemon it's fine" you sip his drink, it does taste good but you know he won't like it

He watches you get the cookies, breaking it in half before giving him the other.

"If you have anything to say, just say it. You're too in your head again" you tell him

"Sorry, I was just..." he's at lost for words, but this time not for the wrong reason.

It's like his mind can't put what he's feeling in to words.

"Did you get the record you were looking for?" you ask him, changing the topic

"Huh?"

"At the record store"

"Oh I wasn't really buying anything, I was just browsing around. They didn't have the vinyl version of the album I wanted, I'll come back some other time" he tells you, taking a sip of your well now his drink.

"You were singing to the Dreamers, you know them?"

"I know a few songs, Sorry, Heart is good. I like that one"

"Me too. You sounded good when you sang it" you complimented him, this made him smile shyly at you

"Isn't it a bit too sad?" he asks, you shrug your shoulders

"I like it, although my roommate said I've been playing love songs these past few days" you shake your head, remembering what she told you

"Thank you by the way" Haechan suddenly says

"For what? You paid for our drinks"

"I meant for agreeing to get drinks with me. I was an asshole to you. All the time I was gone, I was thinking about how to make it up to you. That is if it's okay with you" he tells you.

He mentally pats himself on the back for not messing that up. Maybe slowly he'll learn how to speak his true feelings, he just hopes you'll be there to listen to him. Even though it took him this long.

"The last thing you asked me was what are we, I was being stupid. I wanted us to be more. I wanted us to be official but I was always scared to say it. I don't know why I was ever scared of committing, I could've been with you. That's my regret"

"Haechan"

"You're not a playtoy to me or just some past time whenever I'm bored. You were never too much for me. If anything I was the one who lacked. I don't blame you for walking away, I deserved that. I needed that so I could finally grow up"

You listen to him. You listen to him finally say the words you've been waiting to hear from him.

"This time I want to do it right, I want to take you out on dates, be there to go on night walks with you, go buy records we'd listen to, whatever you want to I just wan to do it with you. If you'll still have me"

The last words was barely a whisper, like he's scared to say it outloud, scared you might turn him away.

Haechan feels his heart beating wildly again, one day he might pass from arrest he thinks. Then you smile at him and it's like everything in his world stops.

You lean over, kissing the corner of his lip lightly. It was so quick but to him it felt like long time

"All I wanted was that, when it gets too much in your head you can talk to me. I'll listen. We don't have to walk away from each other" you tell him

"I'm sorry" he whispers

"I forgive you, the same way I forgive myself from everything that has happened. We need to heal from those wounds for us to move forward"

He smiles at you, he didn't even notice he got a bit teary eyed until a few tears escaped. He wipes it away before looking back at you again.

You stand up from your seat, holding out your hand to him. He looks at your hand then your face then your hand again before intertwining it with his.

There wasn't a destination in mind, he's probably thinking the same. The two of you just walk where your steps lead you to, with him following beside you holding you close to him.

Haechan looks at your hands, a smile forming on his face. He leans towards you to kiss you on the head, the action making you smile too.

"Thank you" you hear him mumble. You didn't say anything back but he felt you grip his hand tighter. Squeezing it three times.

And he knew everything was finally going to be okay. This time, you won't let go.

#story #tags #request #nct #nct fic #nct recommended #nct reads #nct dream #nct 127 #nct haechan #nct imagine #nct scenario #nct fluff #nct angst #nct au #haechan imagine #haechan oneshot #haechan scenario #haechan fluff #haechan angst

[homunculus-argument]

I stay out of Discourse because tumblr is the place I go to chill and have a good time, and fighting people about shit only one of us knows anything about isn't it. But if it's brought to my doorstep, I might as well give you my two cents about tumblr discourse in general.

The first thing is that tumblr is a lawless, unmoderated wasteland. This means that you can say whatever the fuck you want, but also that anyone can respond by doing the same. And you can't stop them from doing that. If some complete stranger tells you to kill yourself, you have neither the power nor the duty to make them stop hating you. The way to make it stop is to just block them.

That being said, Words Are Not Toys. Don't just randomly throw them at people without being sure you know what you're talking about. People will throw words right back at you if they don't like you. Double-check if you were right beforehand, so you've got the receipts ready when (not if, but when) you get attacked by someone who can't fucking read and got offended by what they thought you said.

Anon hate swarms are annoying but mostly harmless, people who don't know you wishing you dead aren't anywhere closer to making that happen, they're just strangers seething in their homes about shit that doesn't impact them in any way. Just delete that shit. Nonetheless, it can get bad. I don't sic people on anyone, but I could not "call them off" any more than someone who does. I don't control the horde and neither do you. Best not fuck with it at all.

People here are mostly adults, and will assume that you are one, too. And sometimes adults are mean. You can't just roll over and go "oh noo, I'm just a baby, I don't know anything and you can't get mad at me uwu" after calling someone a genocidal facist with no other source than your own vibes about a post you misunderstood because you can't fucking read. Being 15 goes both ways, you can't expect people to take you seriously as an adult and authority when you're convinced that you're right, and then scramble back behind the shield of Bro I'm Just A Kid Why Is Everyone So Mean when they point out that you're wrong.

I'm not saying any of this is good, righteous or just, only that this is the way it is. Tumblr is a wasteland where people can and will just say whatever, and if you're too young or sensitive to handle that, please ask your parents to monitor your internet activities more closely. And if they won't do that for you, I'm sorry this had to be the way you find out that you are experiencing child neglect.

Don't play in the junkyard without a tetanus shot, and shoes.

[lovespotion9]

Guilty Pleasure

pairing: Wanda Maximoff x little!reader

word count: 4.7k

TW: 18+ | minors, please dni <3 | Ageplay | Mommy kink | Vaginal Fingering (r! receiving) | Strong Language | Vaginal Penetration (r! receiving) | Degradation Kink | Impact Play (slapping) | Oral Sex (w! and r! receiving) | Spanking | Strap-on Use | Light Bondage | Humiliation | Pornography |

a/n: Please do not hesitate to let me know of any warnings I might've missed! Otherwise, I hope you enjoy <3

Wanda's brought you to work with her, and you're so excited. You get to watch your mommy work! She's sat you down at the nearest vacant desk and you're quietly watching her have a serious big-people meeting with the rest of her co-workers, the Mighty Avengers.

"How is my little girl? " Wanda asks, glancing at you and making sure you're all right. You nod at her and try to be good.

"'m okay!," you squeak quietly, shooting her a subtle thumbs up and a shy smile. She laughs at your attempt at maturity and kisses your head, ruffling your hair a little. "Just behave yourself and you can have ice cream when we're finished here, okay?" she says sweetly. "Be a good girl for mommy." You beam at her and nod your head excitedly. "Yes ma'am!," you say with a cheeky grin.

You spend the next while quietly watching the adults talk, eating some candy mommy gave you as a reward for your good behavior. You try to stay out of everyone's way, but your little self has a mind of its own, and it's super interested in what's going on around you.

You get bored after a while, and start to poke around on the computer with some headphones. You've never really been all that good at technology, but you try to use the computer anyways. You click on some random icons until you stumble upon a folder of pictures and videos that have Wanda's name beneath them.

You click on the folder, but a password is required.

You panic. You can't go back to mommy now-- she's still busy talking, and you know better than to bother her when she's having important grown-up conversations.

You try your birthday typed about 3 different ways before the computer accepts your password and lets you into its secret files. You quickly put in the next attempt before the computer can lock you out again.

You're excited now that you have the password, but the folder only has one file in it-- a video.

You click it and it takes you to a website you're not familiar with. A big 'play' button blocks out the majority of the preview, but from what you can see- it's a video of another Mommy and her little sitting on a bed. They're talking quietly, but you can't really hear the words, just their voices. You scroll up and down the video a few times, trying to figure out how the video starts. The Mommy is holding something and you think maybe she has some sort of toy in her hand?

You don't know how to get the video to start, so you just decide to go for it and press the button. The video starts on an angle where you can't see the little's face, but you can see the Mommy.

"Hello, little one," says a sweet voice from behind the camera, "I bet you're excited to make a video with me?" There's a moment of silence, and then the Mommy continues. "Of course you are," she says. She's not speaking loudly, but her voice is soft and sweet, like someone talking to a baby. "You want to make mommy happy, don't you?"

The little nods eagerly. They look a lot like you... around the same age, same hair color, and y/e/c eyes-- but you've never seen the woman holding the toy before. She looks a bit older and taller than your Mommy and she has long dark brown hair and blue eyes.

Suddenly the little is being told to lie down and spread her legs and you notice that they're not wearing a diaper or any panties! Your eyes nervously search the room for Wanda, only to find her engrossed in conversation with the others, her back turned to you and the computer you sit at.

The video starts.

The camera pans to the little, who looks incredibly embarrassed. She's trying to hide her body, her hands clasped over her breasts and between her legs as if she's scared to show her special parts to the camera.

"Oh no, little one," says the Mommy, "you know you have to be good if you want mommy's special toy. You want to make mommy happy, don't you?" The Mommy runs her hand through the little's hair as if to comfort her. "I want you to be a good girl. Can you do that for me, little one?"

The little nods, but she looks nervous.

"Here," says the Mommy, handing the little a paci and some medicine, "you can suck on your paci and have some medicine so you feel better while mommy makes you feel good."

The little hesitates a moment before popping the pacifier in their mouth and swallowing the medicine. "Good girl," says the Mommy, kissing the little's forehead and rubbing her tummy. To your surprise, her hand slowly wanders below the little's waistline, prodding at the wet slit between their legs.

"You're such a good girl for mommy," says the Mommy, "now open up and show me that pretty little cunt."

The little does as she's told, parting her legs and revealing her wet lips and clit to the camera. They're not completely shaved-- she's got a bit of hair, but you've never seen anything like it before. She spreads herself open and the Mommy watches as the little's cunt twitches and gapes, the soft flesh glistening with wetness.

"Look at you, you're such a fucking slut aren't you?" says the Mommy as she starts to slowly finger the little. They moan and their body flinches at the contact.

Your eyes go wide as you watch the dirty scene unfold. Why would Wanda have something like this on her computer? The mommy was being so nasty to the little... did Wanda want to say mean things like that to you? She had only ever been gentle and sweet with you-- even during punishment, she never dared to insult you like the woman in the video does.

"Look at how wet you are," says the Mommy. She pulls her fingers out and spreads the wetness over the little's lips, smearing the slickness into the hair and making it messy.

You check for Wanda again, heart beat slowing a little once you see she's yet to move from her chair at the conference table. You feel a warm sensation beginning to brew in your tummy as you continue to watch the video, trying to listen to what the Mommy and the little are saying as she fingers them.

"Are you going to cum for me?" asks the Mommy. "Show Mommy how wet you are, slut." She speeds up the motions of her fingers and the little's body jolts, their hips starting to twitch as they cum. Her mouth is still wrapped around her paci, so all that escapes her mouth is a muffled high-pitched moan.

There's suddenly a growing heat between your legs that you can't seem to ignore. You squirm a bit in your seat, readjusting your legs to try and alleviate the feeling. You can't help but touch yourself a little while you watch the video-- slipping a tiny hand into your diaper to feel your wet slit. You think about the little and how much fun they're having with the Mommy as you start to play with yourself, your eyes fixed on the screen in front of you.

Your body begins to twitch and your breathing hitches as you feel yourself getting close. It feels so good that you forget where you are, your dumb little brain not thinking to check for Wanda's distraction from what you were doing.

You nearly jump out of your skin when you feel a set of firm, warm hands taking a grip of your shoulders from behind.

"You've wet yourself," she says in that same scary tone. You don't answer-- you can't answer. Your mouth hangs open and you're frozen in fear. She reaches for your hand, gently holding it in her own. "It's okay, sweetheart," she says sweetly, "I think that diaper deserves a little change, don't you?" She turns to the group. "Pardon us, everyone," she says politely as she starts to lead you away, "I need to take my little one to the changing table."

Your eyes are wide with panic as she leads you toward the door. Your brain can't seem to understand what's happening and all you can do is silently follow your Mommy into the changing room.

Once the door shuts behind you, you freeze, unsure what to do or say.

"Go ahead and lay down on the table for Mommy," she says, starting to remove your clothes. You hesitate at first, but do what she says, laying your little body on the cold table, feeling a bit silly as you lay on your back with your legs splayed open in the cold air of the public restroom.

"Silly little girl, getting into Mommy's things" Wanda coos as she removes the blue diaper from your bottom, tossing it aside as she gasps at the scene between your legs.

Your face burns in embarrassment as your Mommy looks at you, examining the way your folds glisten and your slit drips wetness.

Wanda gasps and dramatically draws her painted fingers to her chest in shock. "Mommy's going to have to give you a spanking," she says, smirking, "Did my little girl like what she saw on Mommy's computer? Hm?"

"I'm sorry," you whisper, shamefully looking away from her.

"Oh, silly little girl. It's much too late for all of that." She spreads your legs further apart and leans down, her hot breath sending a chill down your spine. "Do you think you're big enough for Mommy's mouth?"

Your mouth goes dry as you stare at her. You want to answer, you want to tell her that you really don't know, but you can't find your voice.

"Why don't we find out?" she asks, grinning as she leans forward and takes you into her mouth. You gasp, shocked at the sensation of her tongue swirling around your clit, the heat of her mouth. She sucks gently and your eyes flutter shut, moaning quietly.

"You taste so sweet," she says, taking her mouth from you, "such a good girl." She leans in again, the wet heat of her tongue sending you into a daze. Her fingers reach down, rubbing gently at your folds, dipping them in just a bit. You shiver and let out a little whimper, feeling your thighs start to shake.

"Is Mommy gonna make her little girl cum?" Wanda asks innocently, the sound of her voice causing your heart to jump.

"Mhm," you moan, "Yes, Mommy," you moan. She hums and the vibrations cause a jolt of pleasure to go through you. Her fingers press deeper and you can't help but let out a desperate little mewl.

"That's too bad," she says, pulling away, "Mommy's gonna stop, I'm afraid." She stands and moves to look at the door. "I think that's enough fun and games for the night," she says, looking back at you with a grin, "let's get you home, malyshka."

"What? Mommy, no!" you whine, your face red at your outburst.

Her hand comes down on your cheek and your cry out. "No?" she asks, her eyes narrowing, "What has gotten into you, little one?" She chuckles as she starts toward the door, snapping at you to follow.

You sigh, pushing yourself up, getting off the table and following after her. You're not sure what's going on, but you don't think you like it.

***

You frown as Wanda unlocks the front door to the house, and you hesitate for a moment, wondering what you should do.

"Go ahead and head upstairs, malyshka," she says, pulling the door open and stepping inside.

"Yes, Mommy," you say, doing as she says, though you don't take to the stairs right away. You wait, leaning against the wall in the hallway for a moment instead.

You're not sure what's going to happen, but you can't shake the feeling that you're in serious trouble. You hear the front door slam shut and you flinch. 

–<_>–

"I'm s-sorry!" you cry as Wanda’s hand comes down on your ass yet again. "I didn't mean to!"

"Aw, but malyshka, you don't look sorry." She frowns, "At least your pathetic little pussy doesn't..." She says, running her delicate fingers through your folds and collecting the sticky slick that coats them.

"Mommy," you whine, trying to cover yourself and stop her from touching you down there. You're too scared to talk back to her, not wanting to be punished any further. 

"Such a filthy little girl," she scolds, "look how wet you are for Mommy." She holds up her fingers, collecting your wetness on the tips of them before bringing her hand back between your legs, rubbing your clit in small circles slowly as you moan helplesslyy into the sheets.

She sits between your legs and continues to touch you from behind, dipping two fingers into your waiting hole as her other hand continues to spank you.  "Oh, baby, you’re dripping." she says sweetly as she strokes your clit, her fingers running in soft circles.

You sob into the pillows before you as Wanda has her way with you, legs trembling as your mind subconsciously wanders back to the video you had seen earlier. You're so confused by your feelings. 

Your body starts to react as you approach your peak, your legs start to spread wider, your hips bucking off the mattress to chase her fingers. Your breath is coming out in ragged moans and whines, your brain completely distracted by the sensation between your legs.

"You gonna cum for Mommy? Hm?" Wanda asks as she rubs her fingers harder against your clit. You nod quickly, biting down on your lip to keep yourself quiet.

"Yeah?" she says sweetly as she speeds up the motion of her fingers.

You nod again, head much too fuzzy to realize that she's slowly inching her fingers away from your cunt until it's too late.

You begin to whine and buck your hips as your orgasm is no longer within reach. "M-mommy!" You cry. She looks up from between your legs and flashes you a devious smile as she brings her wet fingers to her lips and sucks your juices off of them. 

"Please," you whine.

"Good girl," she says as she starts to rub again, causing you to gasp and squirm, still feeling on edge after she denied you your orgasm.

"Now get up." She says flatly, removing her hand from your cunt and stepping away from you.  Her warm smile has disappeared and her Sokovian accent comes through much rougher than before.

Wanda's accent only comes out like that when she's really upset with you-- it's a bit scary to hear, but you can’t deny the fact that it makes your little brain feel all warm and gooey inside.

You do as she says, pushing yourself off the bed and sitting up. You see her holding the pink pacifier-- the one she likes to use during punishment, and your eyes go wide with fear.

"Put your hands behind your back and come here," she says, walking towards you.

"Please, Mommy," you say, standing up and doing as she says, putting your hands behind your back and letting her grab you and secure the restraints on.

"Dirty little girl," She mumbles as she turns you around so that you're facing her. 

"Kneel."

You do as she says, lowering yourself to the ground in front of her. Your heart is pounding in your chest.

"Did Mommy's little baby like the videos she found?" she asks, grabbing a fistful of your hair and tugging your head back roughly.

"N-no," you say, trying to look down at the floor, not wanting to see the anger on her face.

"No?" she says, "Then why did my little baby get all wet and sticky from watching? Hm?" She lifts your chin with her hand and you look into her eyes. Her face is blank, but her eyes are livid.

"I don't know," you say, not really sure of what else you can say.

"What a naughty, naughty baby," she says, grabbing your face and leaning down so that she's level with you. "You didn't like watching the mommy finger her little?" she asks, raising her eyebrows.

"N-no, I didn't," you say, shaking your head.

"Really? You didn't like when she called them a little slut? Didn't like when she pulled their hair and spit in their mouth, like this?" She does this all while you're staring into her dark green eyes. Your mind is reeling.

"Didn't like when she made her little use their mouth on her, like this?" she asks, grabbing the back of your head and forcing your face into her crotch.

Your nose is stuffed with the thick smell of her cunt as she grinds herself against you, moaning as she does.

"That's right," Wanda groans as she rubs her clit against your face.

You can feel your face flush with warmth as she continues to grind against you, breathing in the thick musk of her cunt, letting her juices soak the bottom half of your face. You attach your lips to her clit and start to suck, causing Wanda to let out a high-pitched moan.

"Just like that, baby," she says as she thrusts her hips into you.

You start to move your mouth to suckle on her cunt, running your tongue in broad strokes to get her wet enough to open for you.

Wanda doesn't let up on the grip she has on your hair, using it to pull you where she wants you to go. Her other hand grabs a fistful of your hair at the nape of your neck, and she starts to guide you.

She pulls your mouth away from her cunt and holds your face still as she moves to sit on the edge of the bed, pushing you to kneel between her legs. She then spreads them again and motions for you to continue before shoving your face back into her cunt. .

"Lick it up, baby," she moans as her hips buck against your mouth. "Dirty slut," she says, pulling your hair.

You start to eat her out like she wants, licking up the juices that run down her thighs. She then grabs your hands and forces them into her cunt, letting out a throaty groan as she does.

You start to finger her, moaning as you do so.

"Yeah, just like that, baby," she says. "Don't you dare stop."

You start to tongue her clit, circling it slowly before sucking on it. Her breathing gets faster and you can feel her start to tense up. You can tell she's close.

"Good girl," she coos, grabbing your face with her hands and holding it against her cunt.

She comes with a deep groan and starts to grind against your mouth as she rides it out. She lets you go when she's finished, and you lick your lips, tasting her as you do.

She looks down at you, mouth held slightly agape as she tries to catch her breath. Then her hands are on you again, shoving you backward and slapping you across the face.

"Lozhis' na krovat', suka" (get on the bed, Bitch) she snarls, holding your chin in her iron grip. You blink several times as the sharp pain on your cheek turns to a dull stinging sensation, but you find your way to the edge of the bed just as she had instructed, nonetheless. 

"Did my little baby like that?" she asks, forcing you to look her in the eye as she shakes you by the chin.

You stare at her in disbelief and her lips curl into a snarl as she slaps you across the face again, this time much harder. Your head is spinning, tears filling your eyes as you blink rapidly.

"Answer me," she barks, "did my little baby like that?"

"N-no, I didn't, Mommy," you whimper. She slaps you again.

"No? What's this, then?" she asks, kicking your legs open once again and motioning to the growing slick between your legs. 

"You know what I think?" she says, leaning down so that her nose is touching yours. "I think you're a fucking liar" She wipes the slick from your inner thighs onto her fingers before she places them against your lips. "Suck," she demands, forcing them past your lips.

You take her fingers in your mouth and suck the thick juices off of them, hollowing out your cheeks as you do.

She pulls them out and spits on your cunt before pushing your legs further apart and spanking your mound harshly. You cry out and bite your lip as you try to stifle any more sound from coming out of you.

"Did I tell you to be quiet?" she asks as she grabs your jaw, pulling it towards her and kissing you roughly before slapping your cheek again.

You let out another sharp cry, sobbing as she grabs you by the hair and yanks your head back.

"No, you didn't, Mommy," you whisper. She releases her grip on you.

She's silent for a minute, seemingly scanning the room for a way to break you before those green eyes of hers light up with an idea. She reaches towards the nightstand and grabs the little bottle of lube that's usually reserved for her toys.

"Since you don't know what you want," she says as she pours a large amount of the lubricant into her hand, rubbing it between her fingers, "then I will show you."

"No," you cry as she approaches you.

"Quiet."

You start to thrash against your restraints as she rubs her lubed fingers against your entrance.

"Please!" You cry, looking up at her.

She spanks you again.

"If you keep it up, I'll gag you and have my way with you anyway, you little whore."

She presses her fingers into your entrance and starts to work you open, spreading your pussy with her long fingers as she does. She lets out a throaty moan as she feels you start to get wetter from her fingers.

"See, baby," she says as she continues to stretch you open. "You want this. You love it when Mommy fucks you with her fingers."

"No," you sob.

"No, no, no." She shakes her head before withdrawing her dripping fingers from your cunt. "Looks like somebody's learned a new word today, huh?" 

You shut your eyes as tears run down your cheeks, the sound of Wanda fumbling in her special closet echoing throughout the room.

She pulls the toys she's selected out of the box, examining each one to make sure she has all she needs. You try to close your legs and kick her away, but she's already inching the newly secured strap-on closer and closer to the throbbing space between your legs.

"Come on, baby," she coos as she grabs your hips and forces you back to the edge of the bed. "Mommy's gonna make you feel real good."

She presses the tip of the dildo against your entrance and starts to rub it back and forth, letting it glide against your soaked cunt. You try to wiggle away from her, but she grabs your hips with both hands and slaps her dildo against your mound.

You can feel yourself getting wetter and wetter as she starts to rub herself against you, coating her strap-on in your juices.

"Just like that," she purrs as she leans forward, pulling your arms behind your back again and taking your wrists into her hands. You stare up at her as she guides your hands together, placing a piece of rope around your wrists and securing it to your restraints.

She then sits back and admires her work, bringing her hand down to run her fingers across your nipples. She looks down at you and smirks. "Now, Mommy's gonna make you cum." She starts to rub the dildo against your slit before starting to push into you. "And you're gonna stay nice and quiet, okay?"

"Mhm!" You whine as she inches the fake cock into you, letting out a sharp cry as she does.

"Quiet, baby." She says, slapping your thigh. She then starts to thrust the dildo into you, slowly at first, before increasing her pace. She moves the strap-on in and out of you, pushing it in until her hips are flush with yours before pulling out slowly again.

You moan quietly into her ear as she fucks you. The sound of the bed creaking in unison with the sound of her hips hitting your thighs is so lewd that you can feel your cunt start to throb, desperate for more friction.

"You like this malyshka? Hm?" She whispers in your ear, "You like when Mommy fucks her little girl like the slut she is?" 

You nod and she pulls her hips back, thrusting into you again.

"Say it, baby."

"I like it," you say, trying not to cry out as she begins to fuck you faster, harder.

"That's right," she coos as she kisses your cheek, her fingers rubbing against your clit as she does so.

The sound of the fake cock slamming into you echoes throughout the room and your juices start to drip down your thighs.

"Just a filithy little cockwhore who wants to be fucked senseless, isn't that right, malyshka?" She spits in your face and grabs a fistful of your hair as you cry out.

"M-mhm," you stutter. "I can't think right, Mommy," you whine. "Please, let me cum," you beg as her hand returns to your clit, rubbing small circles around it.

"Aw, that's alright, detka. Dumb little sluts like you don't have to think. That's why you have Mommy, hm?" She pants, keeping the same grueling pace with the strap-on.

"Please," you cry.

"Tell Mommy what you want, slut."

"I wanna cum," you moan, the tears in your eyes threatening to spill out as your orgasm builds in the pit of your stomach.

"Aw, my love, you know only good little girls get to cum." She slaps your cheek, making you cry out. "Are you a good little girl?"

"I-I am!"

"Do good little girls lie to their mommies?" she asks as she continues to rub your clit.

"N-no."

"Then tell me what a good little girl would say, right now." She spanks your thigh.

"I- I liked the video, Mommy" you start, gasping for air as Wanda continues to fuck you.

"Keep going."

"I loved it."

"Keep going, baby," she says, increasing her speed with the dildo.

"I love it when you're mean to me. I want you to call me dirty names." you sob, cheeks burning in embarrassment and shame, the sounds of your juices squelching around Wanda's cock filling the room.

"You're such a good little whore," she moans into your ear, pushing the dildo in as deep as it can go, grinding her hips against you.

"Oh, no, Mommy, I'm gonna--" you cut yourself off with a moan,

"Shhh, me too, malyshka. Cum with Mommy" She groans.

Your head is spinning as Wanda's fingers work your clit and her hips slam into you, you can feel every inch of her cock as it stretches your cunt, filling you to the brim with her length.

"I love you, Mommy," you gasp as your orgasm builds.

"I love you too, baby," she whispers into your ear.

"Mommy--" you cut yourself off with a loud groan, the warm, tingling feeling of your orgasm crashing over you, and you can hear Wanda's voice in the distance as she groans and grinds against you.

She thrusts into you several more times, riding out her orgasm as well.

After a moment, she pulls out and turns you over, removing your restraints. You lie on the bed, unable to move.

"There, there," she says as she lays next to you and pets your hair.

You turn your head towards her and smile. She kisses you on the lips and pets your cheek.

"Let's get you all cleaned up, princess" she smiles, sitting up. "Then maybe we'll watch some more videos, hm?"

#wanda x you #wanda marvel #wanda maximoff #marvel wlw #scarlet witch x reader #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda maximoff x female reader #wanda x reader #marvel smut #marvel fic #love's letters #wanda maximov

[callmewrinkles3]

When Emma Falls in Love - DR3 x Fem!OC

Summary: Christmas involves the same thing every year for Em. A week in Liverpool, formal clothing, and returning to her apartment to shower and have a bottle of wine to forget how bad it was. But this year she's spending it in Australia with Dan and his family. No big deal.

Words: 11.4k

Warnings: Mentions of past bad relationships, mentions of cheating, mentions of toxic family relationships. Panic attacks, worry, mentions of sex (but nothing explicit) and mentions of sex toys.

AN: HEEEEEEEYYYYYYYY remember us? First things first - apologies for how long this took. The plan was Christmas, but life has been ridiculous and too busy and we just apologise. Thank you for still being here and enjoying reading more about Em and Dan!

December 2018

When she was growing up, Em never kept a diary. She was the odd one out for many reasons in primary school, that was just one of them. She was too afraid of her mother finding it when “cleaning”, reading what was on her mind and telling her to stop. She hadn’t started it as a kid, and it didn’t begin when she was an adult either. But if she did have one, the first words on the page for December 22, 2018, would have been "I think I'm in love with Dan." And to say "I think" would have been a blatant lie because she knew.

She knew that night in the bar for his birthday that she was going to fall for him. She knew in Philadelphia as she sang that she only bought that dress for him to take off. She knew in Austin when he kissed her in front of another woman.

That morning in July when she woke up from one of the greatest nights of sleep in her life with Dan’s arms around her and his snoring lulling her back to sleep like white noise. Every single time he let Blake out of their shared taxi first and circled the block to come into hers when he got back from travelling. The way he never arrived home without a bouquet of flowers because she’d once said she never thought she could buy herself some. But that afternoon in Perth she couldn’t hide from the realisation anymore.

She’d been working in the early afternoon after she made lunch for the two of them and Isaac, coming out to find her boys napping on the couch. The plan had been for them to watch a film while they waited for her but toddlers were not known for their patience. She couldn’t blame Isaac for sleeping, and once Dan got comfy he could nod off anywhere.

The two of them had been up early that morning picking Isaac up for a day out and a sleepover to let Michelle finish getting ready for Christmas. Once they made it back to the farm it was running around and playing at the pool with a stop for lunch. Em had prepped sandwiches for their lunch before disappearing to work for a few hours so she didn’t fall even further behind. And now they were fast asleep, blond curls against Dan’s off season stubble.

The craving to curl up on the couch and cuddle into them was overwhelming. There was nothing else she wanted at that moment, just hug them and kiss Dan and stay there forever. But she couldn’t.

Yes, she was Auntie Emmy to Isaac - a fact he’d announced to them that morning running to greet her with chubby cheeks and “ANNIE EMMYYYYYYYY” - but Auntie Emmy was Uncle Dan’s friend. And nothing else.

She was just his friend. Even though she was the only one sleeping in his bed, even when he was basically living in her crappy flat in London. Even when it was her name he groaned out when they were together as he pulled her close. And that was why she couldn’t admit it to him. Admitting it to herself felt nearly too much.

It hurt. Oh it ached. But it was better to hurt a little bit and enjoy getting to have Danny in the way that so many people didn’t know Daniel Ricciardo, than say how she felt and break the spell. She could suck it up and bury her feelings and stay by his side as his best friend. If she didn’t say it out loud then it wasn’t real and if it wasn’t real then it couldn’t hurt her badly.

And she couldn’t tell him. She couldn’t see his face fall, couldn’t hear “we said we were just friends, nothing more.”. Couldn’t bear to have to leave people who for the first time in her life seemed to actually like her because she’d ruined it. So she’d stay quiet and get to have Christmas with people who seemed to want her there. She’d enjoy summer in December and have those weeks. Especially if it meant she got time with Isaac.

Em had fallen in love with him the first time she met him in real life in Abu Dhabi, and the feeling was mutual. She could count how many times she’d seen him in person on both hands, but he was as crazy about her as she was about him. His cheeky smile warmed up her heart. The way he ran to give her a hug after the first time they met was one of her favourite things in the world. How he reached out to her so she would hold him during the insanity of that first weekend. But it was the way that he was so much like Dan that made her heart grow ten sizes.

Physically they didn’t look alike apart from those curls they’d all inherited from Grace, but their personalities were identical. Dan joked it was why Isaac liked spending so much time with her, but she smiled and brushed it off. For her own sanity she couldn’t let that get into her head. She couldn’t do it. Not when whatever they were had an expiration date and she didn’t know how long it would last.

All of that combined meant she couldn’t resist watching them for an extra couple of moments, enjoying how relaxed they were snoozing together. She took a photo of them with her phone to secure the memory forever. She wasn’t sure what caused him to stir, if it was the small noise from the camera or if it was her moving, but Dan opened his eyes slowly and focused on her. A smile began to go across his face.

“Wanna join us? We can stay like this for a while.”

She desperately wanted to say yes. She wanted to lie down next to Dan and fall asleep with his arm around her. But she shouldn’t and she couldn’t. Anything that wasn’t at least platonic seeming had to stay just them. Sure Dan had put an arm around her shoulder or waist with his parents, but not with Isaac. She didn’t want that with him. He was too small and she didn’t want to confuse him with acting like a couple when they weren’t. If she couldn’t explain what was happening to herself then she couldn’t to him.

“I’m gonna get a start on dinner,” Em whispered, blurting out the first excuse she could think of. “Is pasta ok?”

The moment the words left her lips, she made her one fatal mistake. Kissing the top of Dan's head and then Isaac's cheek. It was supposed to be the briefest moment, a peck and then go to the kitchen. But the moment she leaned down to kiss Isaac's head his litttle hand reached out for her, not letting go. He didn't say anything, just grumbled and rubbed his head against Dan's chest before settling back down.

"I think you have to stay for a while. C'mon." He shifted slightly to let her slip beside them, settling down. "I know what you're thinking. It's fine."

"Danny-"

"I promise. It's fine." She should have stood straight up and headed out. Before she could even think about moving away Isaac woke up enough to smile at her, moving across to have half his body over Em, half on Dan. Then she was definitely not going anywhere, not when his tiny hand clung to her shirt to hold her there.

"I always knew he'd be a heartbreaker and steal someone's girl at some point in his life. I just never imagined it'd be mine."

"He's got that Ricciardo grin and those curls, what can I say?" Dan chuckled lowly at her words, his chest shaking as he held it back.

"That's not fair, I saw you first."

"I'm not some toy, you don't need to fight him over me."

"I mean if I need to I will." It was Em's turn to keep her laughter down, swallowing it so she didn't wake the sleeping toddler.

"No, it's fine. You don't need to."

"Just had to be sure."

She really didn't mean to fall asleep. She shouldn't have, she wanted to just stay for five minutes before carefully moving Isaac across and standing up to do something. But having Dan's chest as a pillow and Isaac as a tiny weighted blanket didn't help her. Dan smelled like the shower gel they were using and home, Isaac's baby shampoo mixing and making her feel peaceful and dozing off easily.

When she opened her eyes she thought she'd find her fast asleep boys, but instead they were wide awake. The youngest was staring at the film he hadn't finished, the oldest looking straight down at her when Em looked up.

How was she not supposed to fall in love with him? That broad smile and big eyes and how was she supposed to keep it platonic when he looked at her like she hung the moon and stars every single day. He called her his moon once and the compliment made her blush for a week. It was impossible to not fall in love with him, and that was the moment she admitted it. The way he stole tiny kisses while Isaac was distracted. She was gone.

They stayed like that for the afternoon, what was supposed to be a homemade meal turning into driving out for pizza for the three of them. Isaac stayed on her hip until they got him into a highchair, laughing and enjoying his food. She felt at home and happy and was so glad she was there.

It was why she said yes when he asked her what she was doing for Christmas and if she wanted to come to Australia with him. She missed him when he had a double header abroad, she couldn't imagine spending six weeks apart when he went home for Christmas. They could have done it and would have been fine. They'd done it before, but that was before feelings and sex and friends with benefits was added to the mix they had going on.

Em missed him back when they just texted and had a couple of calls, so she had to say yes. But it was terrifying to get on that plane with Dan to go to Perth. It took a call from Grace insisting she wanted Em there and everyone was looking forward to seeing her to make Em feel like it was ok.

Once she made the decision to go to Australia to spend weeks there with Dan it wasn't too scary, but the fact that she was introduced to Dan's world was. Especially now that she was slowly admitting that she'd fallen in love with him. Since the start Em had tried to deny it to herself, insist that it wasn't true. That she had no feelings for him apart from friendship and being proud of him.

But that was like saying the sun wasn't going to come out the next day. On those days where Em wasn't sure about it herself, he made her sure. If she didn't know better she'd think that was his own personal mission to make her fall in love with him. There were texts, calls, facetimes when he probably didn't have time. A text telling her to open the door because she had a delivery. How could she not fall for him?

The easiest way to fall in love with him was what he did every single trip home. She'd leave a sandwich in the fridge before she went to bed, and he came back to her tiny apartment. He had his own one that he could be in, he could go back to somewhere comfy and warm rather than her tiny one bed where the heating rarely worked. But he stayed with her. He took over doing things to make her life better, buying new sheets that were more expensive than she'd ever pay because they were softer and calling the landlord to make him fix the heating after he came back from Brazil and the apartment was freezing.

She couldn't help falling deeper and deeper in love with him when he slid into bed and wrapped his arms around her, whispering how happy he was to be back home. He could have been comfortable and warm in his apartment but instead he was there with her. The chill in the air was ignored as they pulled whatever clothes were on off, Dan marking her body as his. Week after week that was exactly what happened in beds around the world as she travelled to the US and Abu Dhabi to watch him race. She was starting to believe that maybe they did belong together as night after night they got into the same bed, whispering sweet nothings and bringing each other pleasure before curling up to sleep.

It's what happened at the farm when they were alone. Officially Em had a guest room to herself, but Dan's room became theirs. She spent so much of her days stepping outside of her comfort zone, it was exhausting and made her stomach ball up, but being with him was easy. Waking up with his arms around her was perfect. Getting into bed with him every night felt normal. It was terrifying and normal and brilliant. It was easy for her once she got over her worries, especially after that day with Isaac on the couch. His tiny hand over her chest became the reminder that what she thought would be a bad day wasn't so bad. It's part of why she wished Isaac could have been there the night she met Dan's friends.

She knew what coming to Australia when Dan went home for the winter break involved. And when she was invited she didn't even think about it, just went for it. She knew she was going to be introduced to his favourite places in his hometown, spending most of their nights out on the farm, getting to be around his family, and some nights out with his home friends to meet them. She could excuse herself once or twice from nights out because she was never a big fan of it, but she could let the social butterfly she was accompanying go out to hang out with people. He didn't get to see his friends for most of the year, she was more than happy to stay home with her huge to read list on her kindle or a good movie.

But Dan wanted her there. He wanted to spend time with her and his friends and have them all together, and she couldn't say no to those big brown eyes. Spending time with his family was easy, she knew most of them and those she didn't know at least knew of him. But the bigger issue was when she met his friends.

It was supposed to be easy. A get together with his mates so they could catch up and everyone who lived in Perth could finally meet the famous Em. There was just one problem.

Em wasn't good with people.

It wasn't that people didn't like her, it wasn't even that she didn't like people, it was that whenever she was around people she got tired quickly and couldn't deal with them for too long. Dan was one of the rare people she didn't hate being around for more than a few minutes. He'd promised it wouldn't be anything fancy or crazy, that she didn't need to stress about it, but she still worried.

She liked to think that it would have been different if they met somewhere else. In a bar or club where she could have made an excuse to go outside for a few minutes, be somewhere neutral. But meeting at the farm was somehow worse. Dan had told her to stay by his side and she did, but she felt like she was being a bother. He told her that she didn't need to do anything, she was a guest too, but her mother's words kept going around in her head. She should be helpful, she should be useful, she should be this that and the other. If she didn't help at gatherings then what use was she? Sitting next to Dan cutting tomatoes and onions for the burgers wasn't enough.

She shouldn't feel like she was suffocating when she was with his friends. They all seemed lovely, the guys who'd known Dan since he was a kid and told her stories about what he got up to in school, girlfriends who were genuinely sweet asking her about England and her work. But it felt like it was too much. The flickering light from the firepit and the music playing and the voices made her brain go a million miles an hour, all she wanted was to get out of there. Curl up and bed and read a book. She stood there smiling and she couldn't even lean against Dan because they were supposed to be just friends. They were friends. It's how he introduced her. Em, his friend from England. Not Emmy, that was only for him, but Em.

Nobody there had any idea that as soon as the parties and dinners were over he snuck into her bed. That when he got back from being all around the world he came to her home. She was just Em and she had no idea what she was doing there. She didn't know what they were but just friends didn't cut it anymore, and even being outside on the farm it felt like she couldn't get a deep breath into her lungs. The air slowly left her body and she could barely get it in.

She wouldn't forgive herself if she ruined Dan's night. He was so happy there, tanned and grinning as he talked to people. Em decided another beer to replace her empty one and a deep breath in the kitchen would help. Just two minutes away from the crowd. She went in, grabbed two bottles from the fridge and took a few deep breaths to calm herself down. She could do it. She'd be fine and she'd get through the rest of this night. She could do it.

"Thought you were into blondes, mate," it was clear as a bell even through the noise, a dagger hitting into Em's chest. Did she seem like just a girl?

"Shut up, it's not like that." She knew they were just friends. But hearing it like that was different. It was the straw that broke the camel's back and she didn't remember the last time she wanted to cry that badly. She wanted the ground to open up beneath her and just swallow her whole so she can hide but she wasn’t lucky enough. She blinked back tears, ignoring the knot growing in her stomach and the anxiety seeping into every pore. Em’s heart raced and she could hear the whooshing sound in her eardrums. Why was she there? The questions bubbled through her brain but that was the loudest. Why did Dan invite her there? Why was she there? Why did he want her to be in Perth?

Em couldn’t stay there anymore. If she stayed out with everyone she’d break down and start crying and the last thing Dan needed was her dramatics. She didn’t want to ruin the reunion and the good time he was having. So she took a deep breath, had a sip of her beer, and pretended she heard nothing. She just needed to keep it together for long enough so Dan didn’t suspect anything. She could smile and nod as if she didn’t care about what his mates said.

All she needed to do was pretend that she was fine, and then she could run back inside and be alone. She felt terrible just thinking about it. She couldn't do one fucking thing right and be a normal person for one night and have a normal night. It just made her feel awful for Dan because he had done everything to make her comfortable. Not just that night, but he'd changed his home so she felt at home. He insisted he was in charge of the burgers so that he could make one that was cooked the way she enjoyed it - a squirt of ketchup, one slice of cheese, wrapped in two napkins so her fingers didn't get greasy. He got her a Coke Zero or a lemon San Pellegrino so she had options when she didn't want a beer. There were even some of her favourite songs on his playlist for that night, Paramore playing out over the group. He did every single thing right. But she was ruining it all.

Em tried hiding how she was feeling but it was useless. The second she was back at Dan's side he knew something was wrong. The question was quiet, asking if she was ok, but her nod was too fast and she could tell that he didn't quite believe her. Dan's brown eyes stayed on her as she tipped the rest of her bottle back.

"Mind if I head to bed?" She was proud of how even her voice sounded.

"You sure you're ok? What's up?"

"I'm fine, just jetlagged and tired still. I'll be fine."

"See you in a lil bit?" She didn't answer him, making excuses and quick comments so she didn't start crying around new to her people. It was saying how lovely it was to meet them and saying they'd get coffee or meet before she went back to England. She was so polite and correct she almost sounded like her mother and it made her want to vomit. A final quick squeeze on Dan's shoulder and she was gone.

As soon as she was in the house she just had to do a quick trip to the bathroom, change her clothes, and go into bed. But she couldn’t go into the room she'd been sleeping in. That was Dan's bedroom and she couldn't switch the light on or people would see. So in the fading light of dusk she grabbed her pjs, the book she'd been reading, and the bottle of water she kept on her nightstand. From there she went to the guest room that was supposed to be her room. Dan had mentioned it'd be her room in Abu Dhabi, just across from his. That first night he'd insisted she didn't have to sleep there if she didn't want to and they'd ended up in his bedroom and Em didn't want to leave. But now she had to be in her own room. It'd be fine.

The last thing she wanted anyone to see was her crying. Somehow she got the door of the guest room closed without letting out a sob, panic growing in her chest. Stupid, stupid, stupid. She shouldn't be crying. She had no reason to cry. She knew what she was doing.

Her back slid against the door as she ended up on the ground. Her sobs turned to gasps as she struggled to get a deep breath, thoughts burning her head. She wanted to be curled up in the bed that she'd spent the last week sleeping in. She wanted Dan's arm around her, wanted to sit on his lap and sip from his beer bottle. Wanted to forget that the night had even happened. That the man who'd been sharing her bed for the last six months preferred blondes. That the man who she'd been falling in love with might not feel the same way, and they'd agreed they were just friends and said that they weren't going to break the rules and love each other but she had. She wanted her brain to shut up with the "why the fuck does he sleep with me then" that was filling her mind with doubts.

But more than all of that she wished she was brave enough to leave. Pack her bag and go to the airport and fly back to London. Because Dan deserved so much better than anything she could offer. He deserved a beautiful blonde woman who didn't freak out during a party and could afford to rent an apartment with working heating and didn't run away to hide and cry because she couldn't cope. Of course he wouldn't pick her.

But she could barely move. Somehow she managed to stand up once she'd caught her breath, pulling on her tshirt and leggings to sleep in. From there she made it to the bed, lying and pulling up the blanket to try cocoon herself as her tears kept falling. All she wanted was for Dan to magically appear and hold her to stop her chest from feeling so tight. A hug from Dan was magical, it'd make the pressure go away in no time. But he was with his friends and she didn't blame him. She was his friend. They were just friends and she had absolutely no right to be upset about it, but it hurt.

She wasn't planning on getting a lot of sleep that night. The awful feeling in her chest wasn't getting any better, her heart was still racing, and her head ached thanks to crying so much. Finally the tears stopped and she turned onto her side in the too big bed.

A knock on the door made her close her eyes and force her breathing to even out. She didn't want Dan to see her like that. She couldn't explain what she was feeling, she couldn't start rambling about it because then she'd have to admit how she felt and that wasn't going to happen. She couldn't admit that she'd broken every rule they'd come up with and fallen in love with him. She couldn't lose him. She couldn't lose his friendship and what they had so she had to stay quiet.

"Emmy? You awake?" Em should have known he wouldn't leave even if she didn't answer, listening as he padded around to her side of the bed and knelt down, his thumb brushing the still damp skin on her cheek.

**

The second Emmy squeezed his shoulder as she said she was still jetlagged and going to bed, Dan knew something was wrong. She hadn't been ok since she got back from the kitchen with their drinks, but watching her nod and fake smile as she went back inside felt so wrong. And then he stared at their room, waiting for a light to go on and the curtains to close. But nothing happened and it felt even worse.

He knew she wasn't a fan of big parties, his friends were more like him than her and were loud but she'd been ok. He made sure she was stuck to his side for the evening, she smiled when he handed her a perfectly wrapped burger made just the way she liked them. Dan knew it wasn't easy for her, she'd told him that she found big groups hard to deal with. She was the dictionary definition of an introvert who preferred to sit with a book in silence rather than be surrounded by loud people. But she was fine.

He'd asked a couple of times, not wanting to annoy her by constantly thinking something was wrong. He'd offered if she wanted to go inside and hide out for a while he'd make excuses but she insisted she was fine. Emmy ate her burger and snacked on some chips while chatting with his mates. He heard her laugh and one of the lads made a comment about how Dan kept staring at her. He was happy.

And Em was fine until she'd leaned over to offer to get him another beer when she was getting hers. He knew she heard what Mark said, his quip about blondes. The shut up didn't go fast enough and she'd been close enough to hear. She came back looking like someone had punched her in the stomach, big eyes sad even under her fake smile. There was nothing Dan could do to make her feel better.

What he wanted to do was pull her onto his lap, arms around her waist as they shared a drink. He'd tell her that yeah he'd slept with blondes before, dated some as well, but he was hers. He was so fucking crazy about her it was insane. Dan was absolutely in love with her, and terrified to say it because she could do so much better than him. They'd promised they'd stay friends, falling in love wasn't on the list.

But he couldn't even describe how much he loved her. He loved her long brown hair, the way it fell down her shoulders and back. He loved standing behind her and brushing it out to apologise for the mess he'd made it by wrapping it around his hand and pulling her hair the way that made her groan in all the right ways, using it as an excuse to kiss along her neck. He loved the way she smiled at him. How she made jokes and laughed at them herself. How she wrapped her arms around him and welcomed him home. The carefully covered sandwich that waited for him.

He didn't want any blondes. He wanted his gorgeous, brunette Wrinkles, and just maybe in the future if he was lucky enough he'd get to have gorgeous little babies with her hair and eyes and personality. He'd never, ever wanted that until now. And then it felt like she was slipping through his fingers with one evening.

She finished her beer, excused herself saying something about jetlag, was sweet and polite and so un-Emmy it hurt, and whispered to him that she was going to bed. The going to bed wasn't a surprised, she was still jetlagged and had been tired before they even got to Australia. She was the first to head to bed every night anyway. But the way she did it worried him.

Even around his family she kissed his head before she left the room to go to bed. It was what they did when there was people around and they couldn't actually kiss because of the comments. She'd move his curls from his forehead and give him a quick kiss there or on his cheek, or if he was sitting she'd kiss the top of his head. When they were alone he'd go to bed with her, but if he was staying up she'd peck his lips and wait for him in bed.

There was none of that. Instead she gave him a tiny, sad smile and squeezed his shoulder. Like they were just friends. Like she didn't share his bed every night. It was like a knife in his back, a kick in the stomach. That was enough to tell him that something was very, very wrong. He didn't expect a kiss, but he never thought that would be it.

It was all his fault, and the second he realised their bedroom light wasn't going on he knew it. She was nothing like his friends, his life was so different to hers, but he wanted his people to love her. He needed them to. He was so used to the way their lives were intertwined that he didn't think. He was so excited to be home and happy to see his friends and introduce them to her that he made the wrong choice. He should have had it at some neutral place, brought her to a bar to meet everyone. The way he'd done it when she met his family, how it was easier because it was a new place for them all. But he took the party to her one safe place in a foreign country and that wasn't fair on her.

It wasn't how he imagined the night ending. All he wanted to do was hold her. That was his plan for the night. Get into bed, hug his girl, steal some kisses, and call it a night. He wasn't even thinking about sex that night, just curling up with Em. He knew she'd be too tired to do anything and he'd probably have too many beers to make it good for her. So he wasn't even going to try to make a move. He'd hold her, sleep drooling into his pillow, and not have the alarm on so he could have a chill morning with her. Dan was too used to going to bed holding his Emmy, falling asleep with her in his arms and her hand against his chest. And then she was gone and he had the biggest hole in his chest knowing he'd ruined it all.

Dan had no idea what to do. He couldn’t kick his friends off the farm telling them his girl wasn’t ok and needed him. Firstly Em wasn’t his girl, not to them. He’d said over and over that they were friends and she was visiting. Nobody truly believed him, but it was the official story. He couldn’t make them leave but his brain was screaming that he needed to go to Em right then. Something was wrong and he needed to fix it. He needed to make sure she was ok. But all he could do was wait and yawn.

"You alright, DR?” One of the guys asked him.

“Yeah, just exhausted. Nightmare of a season if I’m honest. Looking forward to next year! Maybe I’m getting too old now I’m turning 30?” It was a half joke that got a laugh from the assembled guests. Fortunately they took it for what it was and started making their excuses to leave. An hour later he watched the last people leave as he waved. Once those lights were gone from the driveway he ran back to the house as quickly as he could get in.

His heart broke as he opened the bedroom door to find the empty room in complete darkness. When he switched the light on it was even worse, Em’s belongings still there. Her pillow, the blanket she loved, her Snorlax plushie he’d brought her back from Japan, even her Kindle. Only her water bottle and the book she was reading were gone.

It was a punch in the gut to realise the only other room she could be in was his least used guest room. The fact that Emmy thought she needed to stay in another room felt wrong. His room was their room. He’d made sure to decorate it to be similar to their room in London, parcels arriving to the farm the week before they arrived. The fairy lights, the purple curtains, the scented candles, the extra soft sheets and bed linen to make her smile. It was all for them. It was to make Emmy happy and feel like she was at home because in the back of his head there was a hope that it could be their home in the future. Dan had thought it was working, but now it felt like it was falling apart.

It took a few seconds for Dan to get the courage together to knock on the spare room door. He was scared Emmy would tell him to leave, would tell him to go away. But instead there was silence. He knocked again but the same lack of answer was the response so he decided to go in.

The room was in absolute darkness apart from the faint moonlight coming through the window. It was enough that Dan could make out Em resting on the bed, blankets up to her chin. All Dan wanted to do was get into bed with her, to spoon against her and hold her close, but he knew she wouldn’t like that. So instead he walked around to her side and knelt in front of her, stroking a lock of hair falling over her cheek. He didn’t know if she was in the mood for hugs, didn’t know if she wanted anyone, so he didn’t want to do too much. He saw how her eyes were closed and could feel her damp skin under his thumb. Em’s breathing was too even, she wasn’t really asleep.

“Emmy? I know you’re awake Baby girl.” It took a moment for her eyes to open as she looked up at him.

“I was tryna sleep.”

“I know. But why aren’t you in bed?”

“I am.” Her words were short. “This is a bed.”

“It’s not our bed, Beautiful.” She was at least looking at him, but something still wasn’t right. “C’mon back to bed.”

“I’m fine, D. Go on, it’s fine.”

“It’s not fine. You’ve been crying.” She looked like she was about to start crying again, Dan holding her hand and running his thumb along the back of it.

“I’m fine, Dan. I’m fine. I’m just tired, it’s been a long day. Go to bed.”

“Not without you.” He watched as her gaze softened slightly and he just wanted to kiss her to make her smile. “Can I like down here with you and give you a hug?”

“You don’t have to, Dan. We can just go to sleep.”

“But I want to. If you want me to.”

“…That’d be nice.” It took a few seconds for Em to respond and Dan was terrified she’d say no. He’d accept it, but he wouldn’t like it. He got in behind her, pulling Em against his chest. Her whole body was tense as he turned her around so they were in their usual sleeping position. She began to relax as his hand rubbed her back, Em’s head finally resting against his chest.

“You know, Snorlax is all alone in the other room. And our bed is way comfier than this one.” He kept his hand moving as she tensed up again, looking into Dan’s eyes.

“I’m too tired to move.”

“Nobody said you have to move. Trust me?” There was a nod and he pulled her over to the other side of the bed before stepping out. It was easy to pick her up and carry her out to their room, carefully depositing her back in their bed before he got in beside her. “See? Back where we belong and without you needing to move a single one of your cute toes. And back with your fluffy friend.”

It was quiet between them for a few moments, something Dan mostly expected. Whenever Em got like this she always went quiet while she thought. Finally he heard her bare whisper.

“I’m sorry I ruined your night.”

“You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for. You didn’t ruin anything, you never could. I’m sorry I invited everyone around and had them all invading your space. I shouldn’t have.”

“Dan.” She leaned up and kissed his jaw to make him smile. “It’s your house and your friends, of course you should have. It’s fine.”

“No it’s not. I should have done it differently, we should have gone somewhere else. And believe me when I tell you that you can’t ruin anything. Even if you tried to ruin something you couldn’t.”

“You’re too nice to me.” The hollow way she said it broke a little part of Dan’s heart.

“Emmy I promise. Everyone should be nice to you because you deserve it. You deserve happiness and goodness. And a whole lot of cuddles.”

“Will you cuddle me?” He couldn’t help but hold her even closer at her request.

Dan had no idea which lucky star was looking out for them but it felt like there was a whole constellation instead of just one star. He knew Em wouldn’t do it but he was ready for her to kick him out of the room. Instead he was so damn lucky that he got to hold her while she dozed asleep. He didn’t have the guts to try to explain the comment she’d overheard, he wasn’t going to push his luck, but at least he got to hold her. They could keep going from there.

—

Em couldn’t remember when she actually fell asleep. She was positive that she wouldn’t sleep at all that night, but Dan’s arms around her and his heartbeat under her ear was the best sleeping pill to ever exist. She didn’t know how he did it but he always managed to make her drift off. Even on the worst nights when her brain wouldn’t shut up he did it.

She woke up too early, the sun barely rising and illuminating the room through the blinds. She shot awake at the realisation that Dan wasn’t against her back anymore. At some point in the night she moved from Dan spooning her to her turning around and cuddling into him like she always did. Her face was buried against Dan’s chest, his arms holding her tight, and their legs tangled between each other. She raised her head slightly, Dan grumbling at her moving, and kissed his chest before going back to sleep with him.

The next time she woke up it was full morning. The sun was coming in through slits in the blinds and felt completely opposite to her emotions. She was so exhausted. Em had cried herself to exhaustion, her anxiety and nerves filling her. All she wanted to do was curl up in bed with her book and preferably with Dan cuddling her. But she was so tired she barely even noticed Dan kissing her shoulder and gently leaving her in bed. He was probably just going to the bathroom before coming back to the warmth and cuddle her.

She must have dozed off, she had no idea how long he was gone for, but she woke up to kisses on her cheek and the scratch of his off season stubble against her skin. The smile on her face was automatic. Waking up that way was one of her favourite things in the world, kisses from the man she was falling for were the best feeling and she wouldn’t change it for anything in the universe.Without even thinking Em hugged him back, almost forgetting the words from the evening before. After a horrible night all she needed was Danny. Em just wanted her human weighted blanket over her.

“I made breakfast,” Dan whispered, lips still glued to her skin. “I’ve got your coffee and toast and that jam you like. Figured you wouldn’t want to get up so it’s here whenever you want it.::

“Huh? You didn’t have to do that.” She looked up at him with disbelieving wide eyes. How could he get up to make breakfast and bring it into her after everything that happened? He did it more often than not when they were in England, but she didn’t think he’d do it that morning.

“You always say that, and I always say I do it because I wanna. Are we gonna have this conversation again?”

“No, not really. Thanks for doing it anyway.” She caught him in a kiss but as she went to move he didn’t let her.

“Don’t thank me. Especially considering it’s gonna get cold cause I’m too comfy to move.”

“Dan…”

“Five minutes.”

Like every morning when Dan asked for five minutes in bed with her, those five turned into ten, then fifteen, and then she lost count. It started with kisses against Em’s neck and her hands running along his shoulders and back. But it ended with their clothes somewhere on the floor, fingers laced and moaning each other’s name. Coffee could be reheated, toast could be eaten cold or remade. But none of it mattered when Dan was inside her, whispering how good she felt and how she was the best girl, giving her another reminder that it was still them. Inside the walls of their bedroom it was always going to be them. If that was all she was going to get, it was going to have to be enough. Dan’s groans and gasps helped silence Em’s ghosts for a little while so she took advantage.

The rest of the day involved Dan looking after her while they had a lazy day. A few small excuses, a rescheduled afternoon with his family blamed on hangovers, and they decided to either stay in the bed or on the couch and do nothing. Dan insisted it was payback for the mess of the night before. Em didn’t particularly care about his reasons as long as she was by his side.

It was how they spent their days in Perth, mostly glued to each others sides except for if Dan was going to Michael to start working on a training plan or see his friends. She started to get used to being a part of his life in Australia. Dan made sure that none of the events were at the farm, always at a restaurant or bar unless it was just his family. Every single time they went anywhere Dan whispered in her ear before they went in that she was the one in charge. Say a word and they’d be on the way home. She was trying to fit into his life just like he was trying to keep her safe, and Em couldn’t thank him enough for it.

She was starting to get used to Perth, relaxing more as she spent more time there. But as Christmas got closer she lost her chill. Two days before Christmas she went through the clothes she’d brought with her and none of them were good enough for an event. She had no idea what a Ricciardo Christmas involved, but none of her outfits were right. She had some cute summer dresses, but they were normal everyday things. She’d wear them to the beach or to lunch or maybe even to dinner with Dan’s friends, but not for a proper day. There was nothing formal like what she’d wear to her family’s Christmas dinners that met her mother’s approval.

Em knew Dan would say she looked good in anything she wore, but she was terrified. All she wanted was for them to like her. The idea that Dan’s family might not like her was scary, and she needed to make sure that she was perfect. She couldn’t ruin it over clothing. Em had hidden most of the anxiety she had around being good enough for them but that night it was too much. Her stomach was in knots and she kept fidgeting in bed. The same page was read over and over, but she had no idea what it said. She pretended it was fine until Dan kissed her cheek, pulling her book from her hands as she jumped.

“Emmy what’s wrong?”

“Huh?” She shook her head and looked over at him.

“You haven’t turned the page in like fifteen minutes, you jumped when I kissed your cheek, and your feet keep moving. You’re overthinking. So talk to me, what’s going on?”

“What if they don’t like me? I didn’t bring anything proper to wear because you kept saying it was hot and I don’t look proper. I should have brought something proper with me.”

“If who doesn’t like you?” The concern in his voice made her want to melt.

“Your family, Dan.”

“Emmy…Baby you know they lo-like you already. Mum’s the one who invited you. Isaac absolutely loves you and is obsessed with you, ‘Chelle made a joke that you’re gonna have to have him on your lap when we’re eating. You can wear any of the dresses you’ve been wearing. You look phenomenal in them. I’m gonna wear shorts so you’ll be fine. What’s this about?” Her head spun. Shorts? At Christmas? No no no. What?

“Huh? Not a suit? Or at least trousers and a shirt? You’re wearing shorts?”

“I’m not wearing a fucking suit, it’s summer. It’s way too warm to do that.”

“Oh.”

“We can head out tomorrow, find a new dress for you if you want. But if you want my opinion you should wear that little red one you have, it’s cute. You look good in all your summer dresses, but red is kinda Christmassy, right?”

“But it’s a summer one?”

“And it’s probably gonna be like thirty. What’s wrong with that?”

Her head was filled with the reminder of the year before, of her mother’s glare at the heels Em made herself wear because if she didn’t she’d barely be allowed into the party. But they were only Primark so they weren’t good enough. And she didn’t have many presents for Dan’s family and

“Emmy. What’s up? Talk to me.”

“It’s stupid. But if I didn’t have changes for the different parts of Christmas Day and if I wasn’t wearing a formal dress and heels and men weren’t in suits then it wasn’t acceptable. Plus I only have little presents not proper gifts, I don’t know what to do.”

“Calm down. It’s ok. All you need to do is turn up as yourself, that’s it. We’re having a barbecue and hanging out by the pool cause it’s way too hot for anything else, I promise. We’ll be in swimwear most of the time.”

The next morning Em was still half convinced she should try to have something proper to wear, but Dan convinced her there was no need. If she wanted to go shopping he’d drive her in and help her choose, but she didn’t have to. She didn’t need to do it so his family would like her, they’d like her anyway. Instead it was a morning of soft kisses on the couch to convince her but Em agreed to wear the red dress Dan liked so much. It had a shallow v neck, was knee length, and the fabric had a white floral pattern. Dan insisted it looked wonderful with the soft tan she’d picked up since they got into the country. Pairing it with black slip on sandals meant she’d be ok. She’d look fine.

Which led her to the freak out of how could she appear at Joe and Grace’s home to stay a few nights without bringing anything as a thank you? She couldn’t do that. So they stood in the Cole’s checkout queue for far too long on the 23rd as Dan watched her pick out her baking ingredients. By that evening there was a berry tart and a three layer chocolate cake packaged up in the fridge awaiting delivery with them. It was entirely stress baking, even Dan knew it. But he didn’t make any comments. Instead he sat on the kitchen counter and watched, stealing strawberries and taste testing her concoctions.

Christmas Eve morning arrived and Em wasn’t as nervous as she thought she’d be. The full day of Dan talking to her about how it was going to be alright and everyone was looking forward to see her had helped. There were still nerves, but she was going to spend a couple of nights with people who wanted her there, wear cute clothes, and she had host presents to give as a thanks for being invited. Really she couldn’t wait.

Plus Dan had made it his personal job to make sure that she was completely relaxed that moaning. It started with slow morning sex, Em waking up to kisses along her shoulder and wandering hands. After that a shower for the two of them and waffles with her leftover berries for breakfast really helped, Em fully relaxed. She double checked that the presents were all perfectly wrapped and packed to go, and after lunch she decided to finally start getting ready for heading over.

Dan was sitting on the side of the bed switching between watching her put makeup on and fiddling with his phone. She knew she wanted to look mostly natural but she put a red lip on to go with her dress. She was put together and ready to go. She could do this. It was going to be good. As soon as she opened her lipstick up Dan spoke.

“You know red’s a risky colour when you consider I’m definitely stealing kisses under the mistletoe.”

“The package says it’s kiss proof. You’ll be fine stealing a peck.”

“Ah my sweet, innocent Emmy. You thinkI’m gonna steal just one little peck?” He grinned and kissed her briefly but filthily, tongue slipping between her lips as Em kissed him back.

“That’s the last one, your entire family will be around.”

“And?”

“And that means your family and kids. So no.”

“We’ll find somewhere, you’re not gonna make me go a full day without a kiss.” He pursed his lips at her but Em ignored them, focusing on making sure her liner was perfect and her lipstick matched it.

“You know you’re ridiculous, right?” It was supposed to be a joke, but he got the look on his face that she knew meant he’d done something.

“Talking about ridiculous, actually-“

“Daniel what did you do?” He went to his side of the wardrobe, pulling out a red glittery box from behind some bedsheets.

“Before you say anything, I did nothing. It was all Santa. Not me.” He handed Em the box and she looked up at him carefully. They’d agreed that he wasn’t getting her a present this year because he’d paid for her flights to Austin and Perth. She never wanted him to ever think that she was friends with him because of his money. None of it mattered to her.

“Dan we said.”

“I know. But it was Santa. And he couldn’t give this to you in front of everyone so it had to be now.”

“What have you done?”

She opened the box he’d handed her carefully, lifting the lid and pulling back two layers of tissue paper to reveal the gifts. The main one was some of the most beautiful lingerie she’d ever seen in her life. It was sage green and lacy, the fabric soft against her finger. The corset wasn’t a proper one, not boned but she knew it’d look amazing. A pair of stockings at the bottom of the box made her realise how perfect it would be.

“It’s nothing. I just wanted—“

“Oh this is pretty. This is really, really pretty.” She lifted the underwear out to let the lace catch the light, admiring the design through it.

“You like it??” Dan sounded nervous.

“I really like it. I mean, I could wear it Boxing Day when we get b…what’s this?” As she moved tissue paper a smaller box she hadn’t realised was there hit off her fingers. Em picked it up and looked at the sleek silver lettering. For her pleasure. When she opened the box there was a light lavender vibrator in the black box. A charging cable was neatly beside it along with a dust bag.

“Look if you don’t wanna use it, it’s fine. If you want to pretend that you never saw it and throw it away, that’s completely fine. But we were talking and you said you’d never tried one, so I thought why not? It could be an option for you.”

Em’s cheeks were on fire as she realised that Dan was doing it for her. She’d barely made it through the awkward conversation when he’d asked her what she liked in bed. It was impossible to explain how bad her sex life had been before him. She’d never thought it was, but the way he acted when she said it was ok for him to not worry about her orgasms had soon taught her the opposite. She still remembered the way Gregory looked at her when she said she wasn’t enjoying their sex life. Now she knew he’d been with Millie that entire time when he insisted she was enjoying herself.

She forced herself out of her thoughts, staring at Dan. He looked worried and she forced a smile. His face relaxed when he realised she was ok.

“Will you use it with me?” She felt like her body was about to rip apart from shakes and nerves as she got the words out but Dan’s grin made it worth it.

“Absolutely. We can do it right now.”

“We have to go to your parents, so when we get back. And thank you. But Dan you didn’t have to. I don’t need presents, you paid for my flights. That was enough.”

“I mean I think it’s technically more for us than just you, so it’s fine. Right?” She grinned at him and leaned against his shoulder for a moment before getting up.

“Get dressed or you’ll be late.” Em started to fix her makeup as Dan looked at her.

“Can I watch you get dressed first?”

“No touching, but you can.”

“You’re killing me here, woman!” It hurt to not just sit in his lap and kiss him but they were already starting to be late. She couldn’t be late for a visit that involved staying over.

As a little nod to his request, Em slicked on a light pink lipstick instead of the red one she planned on wearing before putting on her red dress. The no touching rule was ignored the second she moved past Dan. Instead he squeezed her butt and kissed her neck before going to get changed. As promised he was casual, one of his party shirts, a pair of shorts, and Vans. Effortlessly handsome as normal and Em was jealous of how good his slightly longer curls and stubble looked.

If she was honest to herself all she wanted to do was take her dress off, get rid of the stupidly expensive shirt he was wearing and spend the day kissing him. Ask him to use the new toy sitting in the box. But they couldn’t. They needed to get going. When they were about to head out the door Dan decided to steal a kiss. It was supposed to be just one final one, but it turned into two. Then three. Then Em was pinned against the wall, hands running through Dan’s hair as his hands gripped her hips and waist. She pushed her lips to wherever she could reach, kissing up the bridge of his nose and along his cheeks.

Em would never admit it in a month of Sundays to him, but it was the right decision to not wear the red lipstick. Her whole face would be red. They needed to go. Get in the car and leave, but he was addictive. It was one of the things she adored about him and sometimes hated, how hard he was to leave behind. Every time they said it was the last one there was just one more.

She knew they wouldn’t be able to do this for another two days. The plan was to stay with Grace and Joe for Christmas Eve and Day, so they could be around all the family for the festivities before coming back on Boxing Day. Which meant no touching or kissing, and she couldn’t say no to the last make out session for 48 whole hours. She giggled at Dan’s expression as he moved away, Em using her thumb to clean the sheen of lipstick from his lip.

The one thing she didn’t expect was Dan grabbing her hand when they walked to his truck, and holding it again in between shifting gears while he was driving. It had never been a thing for them until they arrived in Perth. They’d been grocery shopping and picking up last minute presents in a crowded supermarket, everyone out to prepare for the season. Out of the blue there were fingers linking hers, Dan holding her hand while they walked through the aisles. His fingers interlaced with hers until they got to the checkout, and then went back as they walked back to the truck.

Grabbing someone’s hand for a moment in a crowded place was fine. Friends did that in busy places so they didn’t lose each other, especially when one of them was new to a place. You don’t lace your fingers with them. And Em couldn’t bring herself to let it go while she tried to ignore the size difference or how good it felt.

She really did try not to think about it, but it was impossible while his thumb rubbed lazy circles against her skin. He was soft and warm and his long fingers were one of her favourite things in the world. Sitting in the car then she could admit it to herself, she loved him. She loved the way he made her feel about herself almost as much as she loved him. And then the playlist flipped over and a grin spread across her face while she heard the opening fiddle strains of Our Song.

Em didn’t even need to say anything. All she did was look over as Dan was intently staring at the road with a grin on his face to know he did it deliberately. He’d learned pretty early on that a surefire way to cheer her up was to put Taylor on. Em could still never thank him enough for that night in Philadelphia when they’d gotten to see Our Song live without the band. It had been magical. Dan started to sing along with his exaggerated accent to make her giggle. There was nobody else for her, all she could focus on was being happy. The nerves, the worry faded away as she sung with hi, and collapsed into giggles when they finished. Em sang it looking over at him, watching how he grinned and shimmied in his seat as they drove the road back to the city instead of staying out at the countryside. All she wanted was to kiss him silly and start her Christmas Day sharing a bed with him. It’d still be worth it, but it was weird.

She may not have gotten a Christmas Eve kiss from her favourite member of the family, but Isaac wouldn’t let her go and kept kissing her cheek. He insisted on sitting next to her at dinner, Dan on Em’s other side. Dan casually ran his hand along her thigh under the table cloth as they all ate. She joked and laughed along with everyone, getting Isaac to eat his veggies thanks to the joy of stealing from Auntie Emmy’s plate and not even realising what was happening.

The best part about the meal was nobody judged her for her plate of food. Everyone else was eating the Feast of the Seven Fishes, plates piled with seafood that she didn’t particularly enjoy. Instead Grace had handed her a plain one, with pasta and sauce and cheese. She smiled when she got it, getting a “enjoy”.

There was no pressure on Em to try new things. The serving platters were spread on the table for people to take what they liked. If she wanted something and it looked good to her she could have it. If she liked it, great. If not Dan was happy to eat off her plate. Once they started talking and sharing drinks she couldn’t remember why she was so nervous. She knew the Ricciardo’s. She’d spent days with them, relaxing and watching Dan race. This was just another dinner like the ones they’d had before, except here they had a celebration as an excuse.

When dessert came around Grace brought out Em’s cake and tart, placing them in the centre of the table.

“Em made these, so I’m saving the pav for tomorrow. I hadn’t put it together and these are fresh!” Grace announced as she handed out bowls, Joe cutting into the cake first and showing the layers. It was congratulations and compliments towards Em, Isaac grinning as he ate his tart. It felt strange to get complimented for what she’d done by people. Usually she stayed quiet and in the background because she didn’t want to speak too loudly.

Even with the worry that someone would ask questions Em could feel herself relaxing beside Dan. He had his arm resting on the back of her chair, hugging around her shoulders like it was nothing. She wanted to move away but she couldn’t, Isaac on her lap before she lifted him and carried him into the living room for Christmas Eve presents. They settled in on the sofa, Isaac waking up a bit more and looking around.

Em wasn’t expecting anything. They’d welcomed her into their home, offered her somewhere to stay and it was more than she thought. But as stockings were handed out Joe offered one over to her.

“Everyone gets a stocking. We guessed on the pjs, apologies if they’re too big.” She smiled as she opened it, Isaac handed back to Michelle so Em could open it. Inside was new shorts pjs with red and black checkers, shampoo and conditioner, and a mixture of sweets. There was also a new notebook and a smooth writing pen. She couldn’t believe it. It was presents chosen specifically for her. The tiny little gold E in the bottom right corner of the notebook cover proved that for her. It was the middle of summer, she was in Australia for Christmas, and there was a group of people together who genuinely liked each other and somehow liked her. It didn’t feel real.

As midnight hit it was hugs and congratulations, everyone heading towards their rooms as they were shooed away with the promise that Santa was on his way so everyone had to go to bed. For the first time in far too long she didn’t have to suppress a shudder as someone who wasn’t Dan hugged her, smiling at Grace and Joe and returning the hug. Michelle and her husband got a one armed one that she gave willingly. It felt magical. And it wasn’t weird that the biggest hug was from Dan. She wouldn’t kiss him in front of everyone, but once everyone was going to bed he followed her into the guest room she was staying in.

“Two hands or the hug doesn’t count, right?” Em asked as he pulled her into a hug. His head leaned against hers and Em pushed her head into the spot where his neck and shoulder met. Alone she was able to run her hands along his warm back, pulling him close as Dan nodded and squeezed her waist. “That’s my huggy boy.”

As he hugged she didn’t want to let go, holding onto him in the privacy. Dan pushed kisses to the top of her head and her shoulder as much as he could. Em was just glad to have him there. He made things easier for her. She’d come with him and been so nervous but it was easy with him. Terrifying, but easy. She looked up at him and saw the smile, reaching up on her toes to kiss him.

The smile on Dan’s face as he realised what was going on and what she was doing would sustain Em forever. He was contagiously happy as they kissed, and Em was so close to telling him everything. But for the first time in years she was going to have a good Christmas and she couldn’t say no. She couldn’t ruin that on herself. So she held onto him as he kissed the top of her head and pretended everything was fine. She could do it.

“You need to go back,” Em whispered, afraid of breaking the spell between them.

“Can I stay here?”

“You need to go. What if your parents find out?”

“It’ll be fine. I’ll go back to my room early in the morning. Please?” She couldn’t resist him and he knew that.

“Fine.” It was one more kiss before she went to get her pjs on. They were curled up in bed and Em heard him barely whisper.

“Merry Christmas, Emmy.”

“Merry Christmas, Dimples. Thanks for inviting me tonight,” she murmured before pushing a kiss to his shoulder and cuddling in to sleep.

“Any time, Wrinkles. It’s gonna be the first of many.”

-

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