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bailey-writes · 4 years

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So You Want Your OC to be Jewish

So you’re writing a story and you want to make a Jewish character—great! I’m here to help. I always want more Jewish representation but I want good Jewish representation, so this is my attempt to make a guide to making a Jewish character. What are my credentials? I’m Jewish and have been my whole life. Obligatory disclaimer that this is by no means comprehensive, I don’t know everything, all Jews are different, and this is based on my experiences as an American Jew so I have no idea, what, if any, of this applies to non-American Jews.

If there’s anything you want me to make a post going more into detail about or if there’s anything I didn’t mention but you want to know please ask me! I hope this is helpful :) Warning, this is long.

Jew PSA

If you are Jewish you can use the word Jew(s), e.g. “She’s dating a Jew.” If you are not Jewish you cannot use the word Jew(s). This is not up for debate. Non-Jews calling us Jews has a negative connotation at best. Don’t do it and don’t have your characters do it.

Basics, Plus My Random Thoughts that Didn’t Fit Anywhere Else

A confusing enduring issue is, what is Judaism? It’s a religion, but some Jews aren’t religious; is it a race? A nationality? A culture? A heritage? The only constant is that we are seen as “other.” There’s a lot of debate, which makes it confusing to be Jewish and as such it’s common for Jews to struggle with their Jewish Identity. However many people agree that Jews are an ethnoreligious group, aka Judaism is a religion and an ethnicity.

Temple/Synagogue/Shul = Jewish place of worship. Shul is usually used for Orthodox synagogues.

Keeping kosher = following Jewish dietary rules: meat and dairy can’t be eaten together and you can’t eat pork or shellfish. Fish and eggs are pareve (aka neutral) and can be eaten with meat or dairy (but again not both at the same time.) When eating meat it has to be kosher meat (e.g. kosher Jews are allowed to eat chicken, but not all chicken is kosher. I know it’s kinda confusing I’m sorry.) Kosher products in stores will have symbols on them to identify them as kosher. If someone is kosher they’ll probably have separate sets of utensils/plates/cookware/etc. for meat and dairy

Shabbat/Shabbos/Sabbath = holy day of the week, day of rest, lasts from sundown Friday to sundown Saturday. Depending on observance Jews might have Shabbat dinner, attend Shabbat services, or observe the day of rest in its entirety (making them shomer Shabbat)

Someone who is shomer Shabbat will refrain from any of the prohibited activities. These can easily be looked up but include: working, writing, handling money, cooking, and using technology.

Bat/Bar/B’nai Mitvzah = tradition where a Jewish boy/girl becomes a man/woman. Celebrated at 13-years-old for boys, 12- or 13-years-old for girls. Girls have Bat Mitzvahs (bat means daughter in Hebrew), boys have Bar Mitzvahs (bar means son in Hebrew) and twins or two or more people having one together have a B’nai Mitzvah. They will study for this for months and then help lead services and, depending on observance level, read from the Torah. The ceremony is often attended by family and friends and followed with a celebration of sorts (in America usually this means a brunch and/or party.)

Goy/gentile = non-Jew. These words are not slurs, they are literally just words. Plural of goy is goyim and is a Yiddish word, plural of gentile is gentiles.

Jewish holidays follow the Hebrew calendar, meaning that according to the current solar/Gregorian calendar the dates of our holidays are different each year.

Jewish law recognizes matrilineal inheritance. This means that Jewish law states your mother has to be Jewish for you to be Jewish. This is because of reasons from biblical times that I can explain if you wanna come ask, but as you can imagine is a bit outdated. While Orthodox Jews might embrace this idea and only consider someone Jewish if their mom is Jewish, many Jews are more flexible on the idea (and yes, this does cause tension between Orthodox Jews and other Jews at times.)

Judaism =/= Christianity

Some people think Judaism is just Christianity without Jesus (some people don’t even realize we don’t believe in/celebrate Jesus so newsflash, we don’t) and that’s just wrong. Yes both religions share the Old Testament, so they also share some history and beliefs, but the entire ideologies of the religions are different. In brief, they are similar in some ways but are not the same.

What seems to me to be the biggest difference is that Christianity (from what I understand) has a heavy focus on sins, more specifically repenting for/gaining forgiveness for your sins. In Christianity you are born tainted by original sin. In Judaism we believe everyone is born pure and free from sin and everyone is made in God’s image. Judaism has some concept of sin, but doesn’t focus on them and instead focuses on performing Mitzvot (plural, singular form is mitzvah. Direct translation is “commandment” but basically means good deed or act of kindness. It also relates to the commandments, so following the commandments is also performing mitzvot.) Examples of mitzvot include anything from saying a prayer or lighting Shabbat candles to helping a stranger or donating to charity (called tzedakah). One of the main tenets of Judaism is tikkun olam, which directly translates to “repair the world” and means exactly what it says on the tin. Instead of focusing on being forgiven for doing bad Judaism focuses on doing good. The only day we focus on past wrongdoings is Yom Kippur, one of our most holy holidays, discussed below.

Holidays

Rosh Hashanah – The Jewish New Year, occurs around September and lasts for two days, though Reform Jews often only celebrate the first day. Day of happiness and joy, celebrated by eating sweet things for a “sweet new year” (often apples dipped in honey) and circular challah to represent the end of one year and beginning of another. Also celebrated with services and blowing the shofar (rams horn.) Some spend the day in prayer and/or silent meditation. Possible greetings: chag sameach (happy holiday; can be said on almost any holiday), Shana Tovah, or happy new year (which is what Shana Tovah means, some people just say it in English.)

Yom Kippur – Day of Atonement. Occurs ten days after the start of Rosh Hashanah. One of if not the most solemn day for Jews, but also the most holy. The day is spent reflecting on yourself and any past wrongdoings and atoning. The day (sundown the night before to sundown the day of) is spent fasting, a physical way of atoning. We do this in hopes of being “written in the Book of Life” and starting the year with a clean slate. The shofar is blown at the end of the holiday. Most Jews will end the fast with a grand meal with family and friends. Most common greeting is “have an easy fast,” but happy new year is still appropriate.

Sukkot – Celebrates the harvest, occurs on the fifth day after Yom Kippur and lasts seven days. Celebrated by building a temporary hut outdoors called a sukkah and having meals inside it, as well as shaking palm fronds tied together (called a lulav) and holding a citrus called an etrog. Very fun and festive holiday. Possible greetings include chag sameach or Happy Sukkot.

Shemini Atzeret and Simchat Torah – Some Jews (mostly Reform Jews and Jews living in Israel) combine both holidays into one day while some celebrate them as two separate days. Either way they occur immediately after Sukkot. Shemini Atzeret is similar but separate from Sukkot and features a prayer for rain; Sukkot is not mentioned in prayers and the lulav isn’t shaken but you do eat in the sukkah. Simchat Torah celebrates finishing reading the Torah, which we will then begin again the next day. It’s a festive holiday with dancing and fun. Some Temples will roll the entire Torah out and the children will run under it. Appropriate greeting for both would be chag sameach.

Rosh Hashanah through Simchat Torah are referred to as the High Holidays.

Chanukah – We all know about Chanukah, celebrating the reclaiming of the Second Temple and the miracle of the oil lasting eight days. The most represented Jewish Holiday there is. Unfortunately it’s one of the least significant holidays for us. Occurs around November or December and lasts eight days and nights. Celebrated by lighting candles in the Menorah each night with a prayer and kids usually get gifts each night. Also celebrated with spinning tops called dreidels, fried foods like doughnuts (sufganiyot in Hebrew; usually the jelly filled ones) and potato pancakes called latkes. Greetings: happy Chanukah or chag sameach.

Tu B’Shevat – Birthday of the trees, basically Jewish Arbor Day. Minor but fun holiday, sometimes celebrated by planting trees. Occurs around January or February.

Purim – Celebrates how Queen Esther of Persia defeated Haman and saved her people, the Jews. Occurs in Spring. Festive holiday traditionally celebrated by dressing in costumes, eating sweets, and giving tzedakah (it’s also technically commanded you get drunk so woohoo!) Whenever Haman’s name is mentioned you make a lot of noise, booing and using noisemakers called groggers. Greetings: happy Purim, chag Purim, or chag sameach.

Passover/Pesach – Celebrates the Jews being freed from slavery in Egypt. Occurs in Spring and lasts eight days. The first two nights (some only celebrate the first night) are celebrated with seder, a ritual meal with certain foods, practices, prayers, and readings from a book called the Haggadah and often attended by family and friends. Most famous prayer/song of the holiday is the four questions, which ask why that night is different from all other nights and is traditionally sung by the youngest child at the seder. The entire holiday is spent not eating certain foods, mostly grain or flour (the food restrictions are complicated and differ based on denomination so look it up or ask a Jew.) We eat a lot of matzah during Pesach, which is like a cracker kinda. I personally hate it but some people actually like it. Greetings: happy Passover, chag pesach, or chag sameach.

Tisha B’Av – Anniversary of the destruction of the Temple. Occurs in Summer. Very sad, solemn day. Some celebrate by fasting from sunrise to sunset. Not the most widely celebrated holiday. Some also commemorate the Holocaust (also called the Shoah) on this day as it was the destruction of a figurative temple.

Denominations

There are a bunch of denominations in Judaism, we’ll go into it briefly.

Religious denominations:

Reform/Reformed: This is the least religiously observant level. Often Reform Jews don’t keep kosher or observe Shabbat, their services on Shabbat will use instruments. Reform Jews probably attend services for the high holidays at the very least and probably had a Bat/Bar Mitzvah. Might say they consider themselves more culturally Jewish. Their Temple/Synagogue will be the most “liberal”—aka have more female/diverse Rabbis and a more diverse congregation. I’m Reform and my Temple’s lead Rabbi is a woman and we used to have a Rabbi who’s a queer single mother.

Conservative: More religiously observant and more generally traditional. Might keep kosher or observe Shabbat, but not necessarily. Services likely won’t use instruments (not supposed to play instruments on Shabbat). Most likely had a Bat/Bar Mitzvah, but girls might not read from the Torah, though this depends on the congregation. They do allow female Rabbis, but in my experience it’s less common.

Modern Orthodox: Very religiously observant but also embrace modern society. Will keep kosher and observe Shabbat. Men will wear kippot (singular=kippah) and tzitzit under their shirts. Women will cover their hair (if they’re married), most likely with a wig, and wear modest clothing (only wear skirts that are at least past their knees and long sleeves). Emphasis on continued study of Torah/Talmud. Parents will likely have jobs. Might have larger families (aka more children) but might not. Services will be segregated by gender, girls won’t read from the Torah publicly, and female Rabbis are very rare. Children will most likely attend a religious school. Will attend shul services every Shabbat and for holidays.

note: there are some people who fall somewhere between modern Orthodox and ultra-Orthodox, or between any two denominations really. as you can imagine people don’t all practice the exact same way.

Ultra-Orthodox: Very religiously observant and not necessarily modern. Will keep kosher and observe Shabbat. Men will wear kippot or other head coverings and tzitzit under their shirts, and are also often seen wearing suits. Women will cover their hair (if they’re married) with a wig or scarf and wear modest clothing (only wear skirts that are at least past their knees and long sleeves). Emphasis on continued study of Torah/Talmud. Men might have jobs but might instead focus on Jewish studies, while women most often focus on housework and child-rearing. Don’t believe in contraception (but this is kinda nuanced and depends). Will often have very large families because having children is a commandment and helps continue the Jewish people. Might be shomer negiah which means not touching members of the opposite sex aside from their spouse and some close family members. Services will be segregated by gender, girls won’t read from the Torah publicly, and there won’t be female Rabbis. Children will attend a religious school. Will attend shul services every Shabbat and for holidays.

Ethnic denominations (the different denominations do have some differences in practices and such but tbh I don’t know much about that so this is just the basics):

Ashkenazi: Jews that originate from Central/Eastern Europe. Yiddish, a combination of Hebrew and German, originated from and was spoken by Ashkenazim and while it’s a dying language it’s spoken among many Orthodox Jews and many Jews of all levels know/speak some Yiddish words and phrases. Majority of Jews worldwide are Ashkenazi.

Sephardi/Sephardic: Jews that originate from the Iberian Peninsula, North Africa, and southeastern Europe. Ladino, a combination of Old Spanish and Hebrew, originated from and was spoken by Sephardim. It is also a dying language but is still spoken by some Sephardim. After Ashkenazi most of the world’s Jews are Sephardic.

Mizrahi: Jews that originate from the Middle East and North Africa.

Ethiopian Jews: Community of Jews that lived in Ethiopia for over 1,000 years, though most have immigrated to Israel by now.

Stereotypes/Tropes/Controversies/Etc.

There are so many Jewish stereotypes and shit and I ask you to please be mindful of them. Stereotypes do exist for a reason, so some people will fit stereotypes. This means your character might fit one or two; don’t make them fit all of them. Please. Stereotypes to keep in mind (and steer away from) include:

All Jews are rich.

All Jews are greedy.

All Jews are cheap/frugal.

All Jews are [insert job here]. We’ll go into this more below.

All Jews hate Christians/Muslims/etc.

All Jews are white.

First of all Ethiopian and Mizrahi Jews exist, many Sephardi are Hispanic, and today with intermarriage and everything this just isn’t true.

All Jews have the same physical features: large and/or hooked nose, beady eyes, droopy eyelids, red hair (this is an old stereotype I didn’t really know existed), curly hair.

Many Jews do have somewhat large noses and curly hair. I’m not saying you can’t give these features to your characters, but I am saying to be careful and don’t go overboard. And don’t give all of your Jewish characters these features. As a side note, it is common at least among American Jews that girls get nose jobs. Not all, but some.

Jews are secretly world elite/control the world/are lizard people/new world order/ any of this stuff.

STAY AWAY FROM. DO NOT DO THIS OR ANYTHING LIKE THIS. If you have a character that’s part lizard, do not make them Jewish. If you have a character that’s part of a secret group that controls the entire world, do not make them Jewish.

Jews have horns. If you have characters with horns please don’t make them Jewish.

Jews killed Jesus.

The blood libel. Ew. No.

The blood libel is an antisemitic accusation/idea/concept that back in the day Jews would murder Christian children to use their blood in religious rituals and sometimes even for consumption (did I mention gross?) Not only did this just not happen, but it’s actually against Jewish law to murder, sacrifice, or consume blood. Yes these accusations really happened and it became a main reason for persecution of Jews. And some people still believe this shit.

Jews caused The Plague.

The reason this conspiracy exists is because many Jews didn’t get The Plague and the goyim thought that meant it was because the Jews caused it/cursed them. The real reason Jews didn’t get it is because ritual hand-washing and good hygiene kept them from getting it. Sorry that we bathe.

Jewish mother stereotype.

Ok, listen. I know stereotypes are mostly a bad thing but I have to admit the Jewish mother stereotype is not far off. Jewish moms do tend to be chatty and a little nagging, are often very involved in their children’s lives, and they are often trying to feed everyone (although they don’t all cook, my mom hates cooking.) They also tend to be big worriers, mostly worrying about their family/loved ones. They also tend to know everyone somehow. A twenty minute trip to the grocery store can turn into an hour or two long trip because she’ll chat with all the people she runs into.

Jewish-American Princess (JAP) ((I know calling Japanese people Japs is offensive. Jews will call girls JAPs, but with a completely different meaning. If that’s still offensive I am sorry, but just know it happens.))

This is the stereotype that portrays Jewish girls/women as spoiled brats basically. They will be pampered and materialistic. Do these girls exist? Definitely. I still recommend steering away from this stereotype.

Names

Listen. Listen. There are some names that Jews just won’t have. I won’t speak in definites because there are always exceptions but you’ll rarely find a Jew named Trinity or Grace or Faith or any form of Chris/Christopher/Christina etc. Biblical names from the Old Testament? Absolutely Jews will have those names they’re actually very common.

I’m in a Jewish Sorority. My pledge class of ~70 girls had five Rebeccas and four Sarahs. Surprisingly only one Rachel though.

When it comes to last names I have two thoughts that might seem contradictory but hear me out: a) give your Jewish OC’s Jewish surnames, b) don’t give your Jewish OC’s the most Jewish surname to ever exist.

By this I mean I would much rather see a character named Sarah Cohen or Aaron Levine than Rachel Smith. Just that little bit of recognition makes a happy exclamation point appear over my head, plus it can be a good way to hint to readers that your OC is Jewish.

On the other hand, please don’t use the most stereotypical Jewish names you’ve ever heard. If you have five Jewish OCs and one of them is Isaac Goldstein then fine. If Isaac Goldstein is your only Jewish OC I might get a little peeved. There are tons of common Jewish surnames that are recognizable and easy to look up, so don’t revert to the first three that come to mind. Maybe it’s just me, but I find it yucky, for lack of a better word.

Jobs

We all know there are certain jobs that are stereotypical for Jews to have. We’re talking lawyer, dentist, doctor, banker type stuff. To an extent these stereotypes exist for a reason, many Jews go into those careers. Do not make these the only careers your Jewish OCs have. Stereotypes might have reasoning behind them but it doesn’t mean they aren’t harmful. If you have multiple Jewish OCs some of them can have these careers, but not all of them. I do know a lot of Jewish lawyers, dentists, and doctors. I also know accountants, people involved in businesses (“mom, what does Brad do?” “he’s a businessman” sometimes there just aren’t more specific words), people involved in real estate. I don’t actually know any bankers personally, and with money and stuff being one of the most common and harmful Jewish stereotypes I would suggest steering away from that.

These are common fields for Jews, but Jews can have literally any job. Please feel free to get creative. And if you have more than one Jewish OC you can think about making one of them a Rabbi, but DON’T do this if they’re the only Jewish OC. Please.

Yiddish

So I mentioned Yiddish earlier. Like I already said, it’s not a very widely used language anymore but there are some words and phrases that are still used by a lot of Jews (in America at least.) Here’s a list that is absolutely not comprehensive:

Oy vey = oh no

Shvitzing = sweating (but not just a little bit. Shvitzing is like SWEATING)

Kvetch/kvetching = whine/whining or complain/complaining

Mazel tov = congratulations; this is the same in Yiddish and Hebrew

Chutzpah = nerve or gall (e.g. “He’s got a lot of chutzpah for breaking up over text like that”)

Kismet = fate; I just learned this is Yiddish

Bubbe and Zayde = grandma and grandpa

Schelp/schlepping = drag/dragging, can also mean carry or move (e.g. “I had to schlep the bag all around town” doesn’t mean they literally dragged it)

Schmutz = dirt or something dirty (e.g. “you have schmutz on your face”)

Schmatta = literally means rag but can be used to refer to ratty blankets or clothes

Plotz = collapse (usually used in the sense of “I’m so tired I might plotz” or “she’s gonna be so excited she’s gonna plotz”)

Schmuck/shmendrick = both mean more or less the same, a jerk or obnoxious person

Shtick = gimmick, routine, or act (can be used like (“I don’t like that comedian’s shtick” or “he always makes himself the center of attention it’s his shtick”)

Spiel = long speech, story, or rant

There’s so many more so look them up and think about using them, but don’t overdo it. A Jewish person isn’t gonna use a Yiddish word in every sentence (or even every day or every few days.)

Israel

In my community at least it’s very common that by the time your college-aged that you’ll have been to Israel at least once.

Israel is a controversial topic within the Jewish community and in the world. It’s sensitive and complex. I really, really suggest not getting into it. Just don’t bring it up because no matter what you say someone will be unhappy. Just don’t do it.

Ashkenazi Disorders

Ashkenazi Jews have some sucky genes (I’m Ashkenazi so I can say this, you cannot.) These sucky genes cause certain disorders to be more prevalent for us. Children only get the disorder if both parents are carriers of the disorder, so Jews usually get genetic testing done before having children. If both parents are carriers the risk of the child getting the disorder is high, so parents might reconsider or have some indecisiveness/fear. Some of these are:

Tay-Sachs

Cystic Fibrosis

Canavan Disease

Familial Dysautonomia

Gaucher Disease

Spinal Muscular Atrophy

Fanconi Anemia

Mucolipidosis IV

Niemann-Pick Disease

Torsion Dystonia

Bloom Syndrome

Ashkenazi Jews also have a high prevalence of the BRCA1 and BRCA2 genes, which increase the risk of breast and ovarian cancer in women and increase the risk of breast and prostate cancer in men.

Crohn’s Disease, Ulcerative Colitis, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, and Lactose Intolerance are also very prevalent

In a dorm of like 40 Jews, six of them had Crohn’s.

Ways to Show Your OC is Jewish

Wears Jewish jewelry, e.g. Star of David (also called Jewish Star and Magen David), Chai symbol (means life), jewelry with Sh’ma prayer, or hamsa (but beware this symbol is used outside of Judaism).

Mentions their temple, their Rabbi, having a Bat/Bar Mitzvah, going to Hebrew School, Shabbat, or a holiday coming up.

Have someone ask them a question about Judaism.

Have someone notice they have a mezuzah on their door.

Most Jews will have a mezuzah on the doorframe of the front door of their house/apartment, but they could even have one for their dorm room or whatever. It’s traditional to kiss your hand then touch the mezuzah when walking through the door, but most Jews don’t do this every time, at least not most Reform or Conservative Jews.

Have them call out antisemitism if you’re feeling spicy

The end! I hope this helped and if you have any questions my ask box is always open!

#writing advice #writing tips #writing help #jewish characters #judaism #writing resources #writeblr community #wtwcommunity #i said i would make this post literally months ago but i finally did it!

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awkwardpenguinproductions · 3 years

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Hey hey! So, question for your Jewish stuff asks. Do you have a favorite traditional dish that you or your family makes? Either for holidays or for normal stuff!

Honestly, I have an entire favorite meal. We go hard on food, alright? The majority of holidays on the Jewish calendar are basically “someone tried to kill us, they failed, let’s eat!” So we have a lot of traditional food that we usually only break out for the holidays.

My favorite menu is our family’s Rosh Hashanah dinner. Kosher beef pot roast that takes the better part of a day to make, potato kugel, apples and honey and round challah. Various assorted sides dependent on whatever my mom feels like making. Chicken noodle soup. Chocolate/rice crispies/peanut butter/honey candy that my mom makes ONLY for this ONE holiday that I’m pretty sure she came up with herself that we call Shana Tovahs. We’d stuff ourselves silly and eat as fast as we can so that we could be on time for Erev Rosh Hashanah services, and then have leftovers for lunch after morning services the next day. I could probably eat my weight in potato kugel, honestly. Also round challot are Awesome, the first year I moved out of my parents’ house I baked my own challah and braided it in a special way that made it look a little like a Celtic knot and it was GLORIOUS. Challah in general is awesome, and I really miss not being able to bake it, but I have access to pretty good store-bought. I also really like latkes and soufganiot (jelly doughnuts), and matzah ball soup (which is basically just chicken soup with matzah balls in it).

I am so looking forward to hitting up Chutzpah tomorrow, you don’t even know. I haven’t had good matzah ball soup in AGES.

I’m doing a #jewish on main q&a in honor of Passover! Come ask me stuff! Disclaimers and warning here.

#come ask me stuff!#erynalasse #jewish on main #jewish on main q&a #jewish food #gonna get me some damn soup tomorrow

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nataliedanovelist · 4 years

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GF - Growing Old(er)

Alternate Title: Growing Older

Summary: Everyone has a sinking realization that life is temporary and that we’re all gonna die, and unfortunately sweet Mabel has her’s.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Come on, Stanley, be serious!”

“I am serious! Dipper can have my boxing gloves and Mabel can have my old collection of photos.”

“This is an important document that goes above and beyond a few keepsakes!” Ford tried to explain this, yet again, to his brother. “We need to discuss more important arrangements…”

“Look, Wise Guy, the Shack already belongs to Soos…”

“But what about the car? What about the Stan O’ War?”

“The boat’s gonna be burned down with us in it.” Stan held up his hands in front of him and moved them apart as he elaborated. “Picture this: two old sailors lying in their boat, their friends and family shooting flaming arrows at it across the sea as some farewell-bar song plays. We’d go down like kings!”

“Yeah, no.” Ford said firmly. “We’re not doing that.”

Mabel skipped into the living room and found her grunkles at the card table. They had a bunch of stupid-looking documents covering the table, but Ford seemed like the only one really interested in it, a pen in his hand and he was leaning forward to work while Stan was sipping a can of soda and sat back in the chair. “Whatcha doin’?” She asked.

“Constructing our will and testimony.”

“WHAT?!” Mabel shrieked and covered her mouth with her hands. Her uncles stared at their niece as her eyes filled with tears and she struggled to ask with a choked whisper, “Are… are you guys…”

“Oh no, pumpkin.” Stan scooped her up into his lap and hugged her. Mabel clung onto his undershirt tightly and bit her lip as she tried not to cry. “Sixer and I are fine, I promise. He just thought it’d be a bright idea to get this outta the way for when we do kick the bucket.”

Ford leaned forward and rubbed her back. “I’m sorry, my dear, I never meant to scare you like this. I swear, we’re both perfectly healthy and going to be around for awhile.”

Mabel wiped her tears away with the sleeve of her sweater and sniffed. “O-Okay. So… why are you making a will?”

“Well, unfortunately someone bypassed the downsides of faking your death and stealing another man’s name.” Ford said lightly as he gave Stan a crooked smile. His twin just stuck his tongue out at him. “So there are some things we need to discuss to simplify complicated actions and it would be a good idea to make certain arrangements.”

“Like what?”

“Well, since in a way we both share the name ‘Stanford Pines’, it would be wise to make such legal documents together. This will ensure that the right people receive the right gifts and inheritance, and that our bodies are properly taken care of in an orderly manner that best helps the living grieve and keeps the government off our backs.”

Mabel still didn’t like the sound of all of this. “But why do you guys need to talk about it? You said you’re fine.”

“We are, sweetie,” Stan said warmly and ruffled her hair. “But we’re not gonna be around forever. Eventually these old farts are gonna be sleeping with the fishes, and when that happens we just wanna make sure everything’s taken care of. At least that’s what Sixer wants. I don’t care what happens as long as my tombstone is bigger than his.”

“That is not going to happen.” Ford said firmly with a smile.

“Too bad, I called it.”

“Since when?!”

“Since the election last summer. The niblings can back me up, right Mabel?”

The brunette grinned and shrugged. “Sorry, but since you two aren’t fighting anymore it doesn’t count. Clean slate!”

“What?!” Stan gasped with a smile. “Betrayed by my own pumpkin! Fine! Someone’s not getting my old stop-motion movies!”

“Good!” Mabel laughed with her uncles for a little bit while Ford wrote some stuff down, still trying to complete the task. The teenage girl looked up at her hero and she remembered the reason why she came in here in the first place. “Hey, do you guys wanna go make some cupcakes with me? I’ve got extra sprinkles!”

“Sure,” Stan let Mabel slide off his lap and he stood, but his brother stopped him.

“Not so fast, Stan, we have to finish this at some point. Why don’t we make cupcakes after dinner?”

Mabel’s concerns were coming back. She looked at Ford carefully to try to pick up a lie. “I thought you said you two were okay.”

“We are, Mabel, I promise.” Ford even paused his work and crossed his heart for his niece, making her smile. “But no one lives forever. One day we won’t be here. It’s like Stanley said; we just want to make sure everything will be okay.”

“It’s the way it works.” Stan said with a shrug and plopped down in his chair. “We’re born, we live a little, and then we die. S’long as you don’t just survive but live too, it ain’t so bad.”

Mabel stared at her uncles. “Aren’t you scared?” Her voice was meek and lacked her usual confidence.

“Of death? Not really.” Ford admitted. “Death is nothing but the next great adventure. An unseen destiny awaiting all mortals at the end of their lifespans.”

“And hey, that doesn’t mean I’m ready to go just yet.” Stan added in. “I wanna see my kids graduate and get married and have their own little gremlins to terrorize them.”

“Oh, absolutely!” Ford quickly agreed with. “I didn’t mean we’re done with life, but the more familiar we become with death, the less frightening it is.”

“Besides, we’ve both faced the hooded dude so many times, leaving with him will be like seeing an old friend.” Stan barked a quick laugh and added, “Maybe I’ll grab drinks with him!”

Mabel giggled, but then slowly wandered onto a dark train of thought. The idea of death was not new to her; she and her brother had nearly died at the hands of an evil triangle (she still sometimes had nightmares about it). But even though she had come to terms with growing up, she hadn’t put two and two together and realized that growing up also means growing older and then dying. It was new territory Mabel had not yet ventured into, and suddenly she didn’t feel like making cupcakes anymore.

~~~~~~~~~~

The next day the subject was still on Mabel’s mind. One day, her favorite people in the whole world were going to die. Stan was going to die, Ford was going to die, Dipper was going to die. Then she would be all alone until she died. But then what? The end? Lights out? There were such things as ghosts, so maybe they could come back and haunt Gravity Falls as a family, but the ghosts didn’t seem quite like themselves on Earth; they were vengeful and angry and hurt. Mabel’s grunkles had enough of that in life, so maybe it was for the best that they don’t come back.

Mabel was so distracted that she tripped on a rock while walking in the woods and scraped her knee. She held it and winced with tears in her eyes, a little bit of blood trickling down from her small wound. “Ow, ow, ow! What the…”

She looked at the rock that had caused it and saw something odd by it. A necklace with a silver chain and a red ruby in a circle sparkled by the rock. Mabel picked it up and looked at it. Scratches of some kind were around the ruby and it sparkled and looked pretty. The ruby was a darker red than most normal rubies, but there was no denying the sparkling gem. “Wow, cool! I bet Grunkle Ford would love to look at this.” For safekeeping, Mabel put it around her neck and tucked it under her sweater as she stood.

She continued on her way to town and she smiled at the arcade. As she approached, she was oblivious to her changing body. She grew a few inches taller, now maybe slightly shorter than Wendy, and her hair was shorter, now only to her shoulders. A few zits littered her maturing skin and her curves were growing in. Mabel was so distracted by her thoughts and the need to think of something else that she didn’t even notice. Her clothes magically changed with her so she didn’t feel tight or uncomfortable.

Mabel entered the arcade and happily played that new battle video game she had her eye on. Shooting aliens made her feel a little bit better, but it also made her hungry. She left the arcade a little while later and talked to herself as she wandered around Gravity Falls for something to eat. “I mean, I get it. There’s nothing wrong with change. I know there’s nothing I can do about it, but I guess I never really thought about everything changing like that.”

As Mabel walked, her hair grew back to it’s normal length and her zits went away. Her vision was a little blurry, but Mabel just shrugged it off and dismissed it as a sign that she was tired. She did feel emotionally drained as she purchased a jelly-filled doughnut and munch on it, her mind now in a rut. She had no idea what to do or where to go to feel better, so maybe a walk in the woods would help.

Mabel strolled through the forest and continued to think about life and death. “Poor guys… what will happen to them if they’re not together? What if Grunkle Stan dies first? Grunkle Ford will be all alone, but what if Grunkle Ford dies first? Then Grunkle Stan will be all alone again. None of that’s fair.” Mabel then gasped in horror and her eyes became more blurry due to tears. “What if Dipper dies first and I end up all alone? Or what if I die first and then he’ll be all alone? Ugh, why can’t every twin die of duel heart attack?!”

Mabel was very tired. Her back ached and her legs ached and her knees ached and she had a headache… everything hurt. She realized she was at the lake and she decided to sit by the shoreline and rest. She held her knees by her chest and peered down at the water. “I guess I just gotta… WHAT?!” Mabel yelled in horror and jumped away from her reflection, but then forced herself to make sure she wasn’t crazy.

An old version of Mabel stared back at the thirteen-year-old. Her gray hair was the same shade as Grunkle Stan’s except for a stripe of darker gray down her long hair, kinda like Grunkle Ford. She had wrinkles from all of her past smiles and her hands were ached with arthritis. In fact, everything hurt, but if Mabel had to guess, her reflection was only in her fifties.

“Wow… I look so cool!” Mabel cheered as she peered down at the lake. “Look at me! I look like a silver fox! This is great! I can buy all the drinks and magazines I want! On weekdays I get half-priced dinners! I get free money from the government! And now I don’t have to go to high-school!” She laughed at her own joke, but then her back popped painfully and she yelped. “Ouch! Is this how the guys feel all the time?” Mabel asked as she looked at her curly gray hair and her wrinkling skin. A scary realization started to sink in. “Oh no. This… This is bad… What if I… Ford!” She gasped and quickly stood up. “Grunkle Ford will know what to do! He can fix me!”

Against better judgment, Mabel ran as fast as she could for home. Her hair became grayer and curlier as it began to lose it’s life. Mabel suddenly felt an overwhelming pain in her chest, making it hard to breathe, and she tripped over her own feet and fell, unable to get back up. The old lady moaned on the grass, helpless. She looked up and with her horrible vision she could have sworn she could see a brown triangle up ahead, indicating the Mystery Shack.

“Help… help…” She breathed weakly, but no one was coming. She sighed with exhaustion and laid back down on her front to try to regain some rest so she could move forward.

Dipper, meanwhile, had been looking for his sister. He guessed she was hanging out with Candy and Grenda, but in case she was somewhere in the house he wanted to ask her if she had borrowed his BABBA CD. “Mabel? Mabel?” He called on the porch. He shrugged and was about to head inside, forced to be patient, but then he heard and saw Waddles scamblering out of the woods alone; immediately Dipper suspected something was off; Mabel never lets her beloved pig explore alone, but maybe he had been adventurous and sneaky and now regretted it.

“Waddles?” Dipper scratched the top of his head to calm him down. “What’s up, buddy? You okay?”

Waddles suddenly bit his vest, tugged, and then let go and ran back to the edge of the woods. He oinked and squealed, begging Dipper to follow him. Taking his chances, Dipper followed, wondering if something - or someone - was out there. Only a few steps into the woods and Dipper saw a woman on the ground face-first. He saw the long gray hair and gasped with shock when he realized it was an old lady. “Whoa, hey, are you okay, miss?” He asked and was on his knees by her side, unsure how to help.

“Dipper…” The old lady sighed and looked up at the boy.

“Mabel?!” Dipper gasped; she may be old, but he could recognise her own twin. “What the heck happened?! Did you time travel? Are you from the future?!”

“N-No…” Mabel sighed. “Ford… Grunkle Ford… get…”

“Come on, I’ll take you to him.” Dipper said firmly to mask his fear. He draped one of his sister’s frail arms over his neck and helped her up to her feet. Slowly but surely they were heading back towards home.

Meanwhile, Ford was at the kitchen table, pleasantly munching on his lunch. Stan, on the other hand, shivered, put down his fork, and gulped down some soda.

“What, you don’t like my tuna salad?” The scientist asked.

“No. Who puts raisins in tuna salad?”

“The French.”

“Well, it’s not right.” Stan grumbled as he started on a new task: picking the raisins out of his meal.

Ford rolled his eyes and got up to refill his glass with water. The door opened and they heard Dipper’s voice before they saw him. “Grunkle Ford!”

He smiled kindly and turned, “What is it, m-” He dropped his glass, letting it shatter by his boots.

Mabel hung loosely by his shoulder, her hair gray and her skin in wrinkles. The elder twins rushed to her and Stan got to her first, holding her gently by the chin to look at her face. “Mabel, sweetie! Can you hear me? What happened?!”

“I don’t know, I just found her like this!” Dipper answered.

“Set her in the armchair.” Ford instructed. “We can fix this…”

“What if we can’t?!” Stan dared to ask. “I’m not just saying this cuz of her age, but she doesn’t look good.”

“No, you’re right.” Ford elaborated. “She’s not that much older than us, but the sudden change must have taken a toll on her body; we’ve had time to adjust and keep our bodies in good shape… or at least prevent aches, but she hasn’t had that kind of time. But she’ll be fine, we can reverse this, I’m sure of it.”

Dipper had Mabel sit on the armchair, her eyes closed, and now sitting back the amount of effort she had to put into breathing was more apparent. She groaned slightly and the boys were shocked to find her aging again more rapidly in front of them. Her wrinkles were deeper and her hair slowly turned white.

“Dipper, get the first aid kit, now!” Ford commanded and the teenager was off like a rocket.

Stan sat on the dino-skull and held her thin hand. “Just hang on, pumpkin, we’ve got this.” He soothed, his voice trembling slightly due to his tightening throat.

Mabel moaned slightly and tried to open her eyes. “Gr-Grunkle Stan…”

“Yeah, it’s me, sweetheart.” Stan smiled and squeezed her hand. “You’ll be fine, you’re a Pines for crying out loud, so just hang in there, okay?”

Mabel cracked a small smile and nodded.

Dipper was back. “Here!”

“Good,” Ford opened it and took her opposite hand, pulling out a stethoscope and listening to her heartbeat through her wrist. “Let’s see…”

Mabel was aging again; her hair was thinning and some of it was falling out of her scalp. Her hand in Stan’s grasp was now nothing more than skin on bones, her veins sensitive. She moaned and had to put more effort into her breathing; now she looked almost a hundred.

“No, no, no!” Stan called. “Mabel?”

“Hold on, sweetie, it’ll be okay.” Ford gently coached Mabel as he listened to her heartbeat, praying it would never stop.

“What the…” Dipper began to notice faint glowing behind Mabel’s sweater. He pulled down to see her neck and upper-chest and he gasped at a red ruby necklace with a silver chain. The gem was glowing and vibrating, almost looking like it was hot, and when Dipper went to touch it, it almost burned his skin and it was stuck to Mabel’s skin like it had been super-glued onto her.

“That’s not any gem!” Ford gasped. “That’s a Youth-Sucker! It drains the wearer’s youth until the host dies and then the necklace will feed off of the body.”

“What do we do, what do we do?!” Stan asked.

“We have to remove it, carefully.” Ford said and turned to Dipper. “Get the tool kit.” And the teenager was gone, again.

Too soon Mabel was aging again. More hair was falling out, now half of it was gone and the rest remaining was thin. Mabel tried to swallow a moan but it was very apparent on her face that she was in a lot of pain. The pain would definitely explain the sou-sucking leech. Ford eyed the anomaly on his niece’s chest as it began to pur happily over the approaching meal.

“Dipper, hurry!” Ford barked harshly.

Mabel struggled to open her eyes, but she was tired of looking at the darkness. “I… I love you…” Her voice was so quiet and so weak it was a miracle it could be heard.

Stan squeezed her hand as tightly as he could risk without hurting her. “We love you too, pumpkin, but don’t gimme any of that mushy stuff like it’s goodbye, okay?” He blinked to try to ease the stinging in his eyes.

“M’scared…”

“Here!” Dipper was back and practically threw the tool box at Ford so he could get to work.

The scientist pulled out one of his electronic gloves and a pair of tweezers and instructed,” Dipper, hold down the sweater’s neck so I can work.” Dipper helped the gem being showcased and it continued to vibrate and burn and pur. Mabel would probably have a very nasty burn on her chest for a while, but that didn’t matter nearly as much as saving her life.

“Easy, easy,” Ford said mostly to himself as he carefully pinched the gem by the hook where the string was, reading to pull when the anomaly was at its weakest. He would have to do it quickly to not worsen Mabel’s burn with his glove, and so in classic Stanford Pines action, with one swift movement he shocked the gem and pulled it off of Mabel’s chest the second it screeched with pain and anger.

The moment the Youth-Sucker was off Mabel her youth returned her to and soon she was a tired thirteen-year-old, rosy cheeked and with a full head of beautiful brown hair. She blinked her eyes open and rubbed them with her fists, like waking from a dream, and was surprised to find still electrocuting the Youth-Sucker in his fist as punishment for trying to kill his Mabel. “Whoa.”

“Mabel!” Stan cried out and swallowed her into his lap for a tight hug. “Don’t scare me like that, pumpkin, I thought I was gonna lose you!”

“I’m sorry, I just thought it looked cool.” Mabel tried to explain but her face was buried in his chest and she happily hugged him back.

“Well, all’s well that ends well.” Ford breathed, his anxiety finally going down as he stood normally and pocketed the Youth-Sucker to dissect for science. “I’m sure there’s a valuable lesson to take from all of this.”

“Meh, too tired to figure that out.” Mabel moaned as she nuzzled her face against her grunkle.

“Alright, then bed sweetie.” And Dipper and Ford knew better than to point out that he was taking her to his bedroom instead of the attic; Stan needed a nap, too, and there was no way he was going to let his little girl out of his arms for a while after that traumatizing scare.

#GF #fanfiction #nothing but angst #totally NOT based off an episode of Steven Universe #gravity falls #mabel pines

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purplexedhuman · 3 years

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Hi Pooja! Sorry i've been kinda absent. i feel like life keeps on distracting me. oops. anyway. MUTUAL PINING!!! YES! I LOVE MUTUAL PINING and the STUPIDITY that causes it. i really like angst, angst, and more angst. hurt/comfort. doing small kind things for each other. family feels is definitely great. i have never tried filtered coffee. it sounds great though! i love most forms of caffeine! i particularly like natural processed cold brewed coffee. (1/?)

And i like tea. I used to drink a lot of energy drinks... but i have since stopped. i drink some soda but i prefer making my own syrups and adding it to seltzer. i love indian food. all the breads and sweets. i think my favorite dessert is shrikhand.... mmmm... cardamom shrikhand makes me so happy! i also really like all the chaats i've had. om nom nom nom nom. look at you, making me hungry! it's almost bed time! I should not eat. i had a HUGE dinner tonight of home made fried foods... XD (2/?)

Ok... question time... what do you put in your burritos? i like most things in mine. i'm not a picky eater... which mdzs character are you most like? and why? if you had to assign breakfast foods to mdzs characters, who would be what? it's a silly question but i'm curious to see where your brain takes it! how have you been this week? and how have your kitties been? anything particularly interesting in your life or that the cats did? do you enjoy cooking? <3, 🔥🐯 (3/3)

No worries! And I’m so sorry about the delayed response!

My favourite form of mutual pining isn’t complete stupidity or obliviousness though. I prefer a mix of mild obliviousness/good at hiding feelings + “there’s no way that they could feel this way”. That beautiful mix of emotions!! And angst but only if there’s a happy ending- this can be so cathartic and beautiful! Also, i’m better at inflicting angst through my sets than handling it when I read/see it, oops.

Oh yes, shrikhand is good! It’s been a while since I had any though :( Same with chaat! I haven’t had any since the beginning of the year or even longer, since it’s something that doesn’t get delivered well. You need to eat it live and crunchy!

I’m (mostly) vegetarian, so all my burrito fillings are vegetables, rice, beans, sour cream, salsa, etc. I dont know how to make this though, I’ve always just ordered burritos. And same, I’m usually not a very picky eater.

My cats have been really naughty lately. Wuji scratched me twice while trying to play! I’m trying to finish my one grad school application for this year, but since I haven’t finished the essays, I feel guilty coming on tumblr or making gifs or doing any other “fun” stuff, which is why it took me a while to answer this. sorry!!

I sometimes enjoy cooking, but a lot of the time it feels like too much effort. On days when I’m in the mood and when I used to live with my roommates before covid, I used to like just playing music or watching a show or listening to a podcast while cooking. It was calming. My flatmate was better at cooking and we got along well, so it was really fun to cook along with her. She’d be the chef and I’d be the assistant and we’d watch something funny on netflix or youtube while we cooked or sing along to songs. And we got to experiment a bit as well! I’m not very experimental when just cooking on my own- I’m still trying to get the basics right.

Hmm, I think I might be most like lan wangji. I’ve also spent my childhood and teenage years worried about the rules and following them. I’m not very social or talkative (at least until I get to know the person well). I hide a lot of emotions and don’t really show them much on my face (the number of times people have told me to smile more... and not even strangers, these were classmates or dance instructors, etc)

Who do you identify with most?

Breakfast food as characters... wow, this is tough. I’ve never thought about this or about assigning foods to anyone. Let me think.

Wwx: Maybe Waffles with whipped cream and chocolate and maple syrup? And salted caramel with chilli flakes in just one small spot. Sweet and energetic, but with a bit of salt and a hidden anger if you hit the wrong spot.

Lwj: hmm... Maybe dosa? Looks simple and with pretty plain ingredients, but secretly an indulgence (if you add more oil, masala, chutneys, etc). Also takes a lot of effort to make the batter, but once that initial effort is done, it’s very simple to actually cook. I guess this could be a metaphor for... it’s hard to get to know lwj but once you do, it’s a treat. lol

Sizhui/a-yuan: a cinnamon roll. no explanation needed :P

yanli: omelette/frittata. hearty, healthy, delicious but simple and wholesome.

jiang cheng: coffee. seems bitter and dark on the outside, but will help you get through the day and can be sweet if you do it right.

jingyi: doughnuts filled with jelly. Sweet, filling, fun and messy.

Hmm... I can’t think of any more... But such a interesting question. Really got me wracking my brain for like 30 mins!

#mdzsnetcc #ask #Anonymous #🔥🐯

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prettylittlebrownskingyal · 4 years

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Your commentary on titans 👌👌 give us the full review

My main problem with Titans is that there is (a.) no logical and solid justification for these characters and their actions and (b.) this may just be the film nerd in me— but there’s no emotional payoff.

What irks me more is that the cast is incredible. They’re likeable and capable of handling emotion and they can clearly deal with more than they’re given.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure from writers to showrunners to directors and crew— a lot of work and time and energy has been put into the production of this show. But these characters are so iconic and in my nitwit opinion, it’s almost painful to see their potential go to waste.

And I say potential because there are moments— mystical and magical, full of hope and wonder and rich comic goodness that make you want more. But they fall flat.

“Families can be fucked up.”

Titans is supposed to be about family. They literally end the last episode with the song “We are Family.” So why would these people— who supposedly view each other as found family— abandon each other at every given opportunity?

They gang up on Jason in the tower when only moments before they were all fired up about saving the kid from Dr. Light. Gar gets left behind by himself with an unconscious, cleary dangerous super clone. Donna and Dawn fully agree to let Dick rot in prison.

These actions do not reflect people who care for each other. Who want to protect and keep each other safe. Why would this be the core emotional catalyst for any development whatsoever when no actual families are portrayed?

Also, here are two established families featured this season and there were no attempts to have them act as foils for each other even though that would have made clear sense. The Wilsons and the Waynes. Two kids that share stoic father figures that are linked to their trauma. Rose and Jericho have no relationship. No communication. No reason to trust each other. Also, why does Rose immediately give up her life for her father?

Dick and Jason’s relationship had some moments that could have been great to both of their character developments. Dick is his best when he’s being a big brother to Gar and Rachel. Why not let him be the same for Jason?

Here are some things I’d do differently.

1.) No Conner storyline

Conner, Krypto and Eve’s episode (episode 6) was quite possibly the best of the season. It’s because a family dynamic is clearly established. (It’s a little weird, I’ll admit) But these characters rely on each other. They look out for each other. They care. (“You didn’t abandon me”// “Can I call you mom?”// “Hot dogs? Get it?”– i ate that shit up)

That being said, it also feels like Conner was just created so they’d have someone to save Jason from his fall.

The introduction of CADMUS as another antagonist when Slade is a major, overpowering one feels like too many things to juggle at once. If they’d held out, Conner and CADMUS would have been great as the main focal point for a whole season.

2.) More Jericho

Jericho was essentially the highlight of the season. I can’t tell if it was the way he was written or the way Chella portrayed him but that’s what Titans really needs.

humanity. kindness. friendship and family ties.

why couldn’t he have had more time with the Titans? why couldn’t he have a relationship with Rose?

I’d have let him explore his abilities more. His relationship with his mom, with Slade, with each of the Titans.

They needed to have actual bonding with him. Not just a shoddy backstory.

3.) Better treatment of Rose

Rose Wilson could have been so much more than just a plot point. More than an informant. All she did this season was eat cereal, say “i’m out” and then solve a major fight plot point in fifteen minutes. We needed more of her training, her relationships, her justifications to just pick and fall into a life of an assassin.

She and Jason had some decent moments of believable cheesy teen behaviour between them but not enough to cover the gaping hole in Jason’s storyline.

4.) Jason needs more emotional moments!!

Not going to lie, I wasn’t sure Curran Walters could do big emotional scenes or make me care as much as he did. But he did. He’s got the bratty, troubled Jason down but he needs to be more fleshed out.

Like Rose, he feels like a caricature of a troubled teen. Where’s his interaction with Bruce? His backstory? His impulsivity and need to prove himself to Dick should be established but it’s not.

That scene where he learns that Rose has been using them all along? That was better than most of what we’ve seen him do.

5.) Donna as a big sister// Donna’s relationship with loss

You’re telling me “older smarter prettier”// “you can crash at my place” Donna Troy who took care of Dick would not look at these kids and want to help? After all Diana’s taught her? WACK

Also Donna and Garth’s relationship? It felt forced. He literally said “I love you” and then died. C’mon man, really? At least give them a pre-established relationship.

6.) Kory?? what happened y’all?

She felt so underutilized this season. Anna Diop is a star. She delivers her performance so well. The moment she heals Conner, her rushing to save Rachel— she has this essence of kindness that fits so well with her strength and the potency of her powers.

She’s a gifted, royal powerhouse.

So why give her a runaround, stretched out storyline? Why make her kill someone she cared about?

7.) Hank and Jason?//Dawn, Donna and Kory?// Dick & Gar

The dynamic between these characters whether seen or hinted at could have literally carried full episodes. Why consistently break them apart? Or make them fight or ignore each other? Why not let them play into each other, learn from each other? INTERACT??

8.) Bruce// Dick’s version of Bruce

I like Iain Glen as an older version of Bruce Wayne. I like that he’s a bit quirky, snarky, an asshole and he says things like “no shit.” But he doesn’t serve much of a purpose and he feels like an instant solution in certain situations. Plus he has no interaction with Jason.

That being said, the use of him as Dick’s voice of reason/subconscious does hone in on the question that Dick keeps trying to run away from— “What would Batman do?” That works for his character. It works for his growth. Their dynamic is wonderful but ultimately, not necessary.

9.) Donna dying?

That WHOLE scene was so out of place. Why would that have happened after the climax of the story? As an extra source of angst?

Again, the Titans are separated by death. Again, a sense of a family is built up and torn down. No one should have to die for a real sense of familial bond to be established.

10.) Deathstroke’s character//takedown

He’s supposed to be the main antagonist and they all have beef with him. Rightfully, everyone should have gotten a chance in that battle. It happened way too quickly and was very anticlimactic for the old Titans.

Also, Slade killing one of their friends with one, single bullet to the chest literally does nothing for me. Especially since Aqualad is supposed to be a Titan. There’s no real conflict, no tangible establishment of hate. Where’s the torture? the real hurt?

11.) Gar, Dick and Hank and their repeated storylines

they all went through the same arcs again. Dick with his Batman struggle. Hank and his own darkness. Gar and his struggle with control and being controlled and experimented on.

This season should have been about Dick coming into his own as Nightwing. About Gar finally having some normalcy and a place that he feels safe in. He should have gotten some redemption as a hero. Hank (and i hate to say, i hope i don’t sound ridiculous but) should have gotten some resolution with Dawn. Either they’re in or out because the back and forth they do with each other is incredibly toxic and they’ve been established as smart enough to see that.

It wasn’t all bad though and I’ll probably end up doing a re-watch sometime. Since I’ve pretty much spouted asshole nonsense, here are some of the best moments:

The end of the first episode where they’re all standing around their cars and laughing? GOLD. More of that cheesy, established friendship.

Jericho hugging Dick, Dick being unsure how to deal with warmth and forgiveness. Everybody say thank you to Chella for improvising that.

Kory and Donna being detectives and arguing over jelly doughnuts? Yes, please! I love them together. How they clearly knew each other, how they worked well together to take out Shimmer.

Kory speaking Kryptonian. Anything that furthers her development brings me joy.

Conner saving Jason. That was pretty comic book like— I liked it.

All the scenes Krypto’s in.

Hank telling Dawn that he knows what Jason’s probably feeling. That was emotional and heartfelt. Also, Hank going “Atta boy” when they were on the phone with Slade. I’m really upset they couldn’t have a brotherly relationship because their characters are quite similar.

Gar, Jason and Rachel interacting like friends/teammates/siblings. Their dynamic works. I’d love to have seen the three of them take on a challenge together.

#ar.txt #asks #prettylilanons #ar watches Titans #i have more thoughts but i can't form them right now.#Anonymous #titans #dc’s titans

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clownsgobeepbeep · 4 years

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🍩 shared between Ula and Atlas X3

A donut from a donut shop

“Auntie! I want that one!”

“No, I want that one!”

“Guys, there’s more than one. You can each have one, and we can even buy some when we exit the park.

“Yay!”

Autumn had finally arrived meaning that certain things had now arrived. One of these, was Ula’s birthday, the self proclaimed spookiest birthday of them all.

This year, once again, she had decided she wanted a halloween horror birthday.

“Ama, which one are you going to want?” asked Ula’s dad who of course also came alone, the infant siblings having been left to stay with their grandparents so the amusement park would not overwhelm them.

“Hmmm, that one!” Ama pointed at a treat placed on one of the rotating displays.

“Can I have two of those as well please?” Jelly asked the employee who placed the treats into a box that contained previously chosen ones. “Atlas, what doughnut do you want honey?”

“Um…”

Before entering the amusement park, the family decided to visit Voodoo Doughnut.

“I say you try voodoo bubble, or the voodoo doll one!” exclaimed the birthday girl, looking at all the possibilities she could order. “Or maybe…”

“How about that one?” Atlas pointed at a doughnut that was covered in cereal. “Is that one good?”

“I actually haven’t tasted that one yet.” Ula tapped her chin. “Maybe you can try it out, my mom’s buying two for each one of us for now.”

“Well, I’ll take one of those then.” Atlas slightly nodded before turning to Ula. “Are you also gonna get one?”

“Nah. If I don’t like it, I won’t finish it and I don’t want to waste my mom’s money like that.” Ula shrugged. “Now come on, pick your other doughnut!”

_____________

“So, is it good?”

Now that all the morning doughnuts had been purchased, the group sat down at one of the tables outside of the small donut shop.

Atlas was seated beside Ula who watched him eat his new treat, stopping with his mouth full.

“Hm?”

“I asked if the doughnut’s good.” Ula giggled to herself before a piece of her treat into her mouth.

“Do you wanna try it?” Atlas offered his doughnut over to Ula who blinked in surprise.

“Oh no, that’s your doughnut.”

“But you didn’t get any for yourself, and it’s your birthday.”

“Nah, I’m okay. I have some gummies to keep me going for now.” Ula waved a hand in reassurance. “I just wanna know if the doughnut’s good or not.”

“It is.” Atlas nodded before tearing a piece of his doughnut, once again offering it to Ula. “You should try it.”

“Atlas.”

“You’ll like it.”

“It’s yours. I can ask my mom to buy me one.”

“You said you didn’t want it just in case you didn’t like it.” Atlas made a face at Ula who gave a bit of a pout, this prompting him to wave around the doughnut piece. “It’s really good.”

“Fine.” Ula huffed, finally reaching out to grab the piece but was surprised when the piece disappeared all of a sudden.

“You were too late.” sounded another voice, making Ula and Atlas turn to see Bubbles casually enjoying the swiped away piece. “Can I have another one for Jeffy?”

“No!” Ula exclaimed, even going as far as placing herself between her cousin and friend to shield Atlas’ doughnut. “Shoo! Shoo!”

“Don’t talk to me like I’m a seagull!”

“Girls!” Jelly’s voice sternly spoke to them, making the two glare at each other before Bubbles finally went back to sit with her twin.

“Well, there’s only one piece left.” Atlas looked down at what was left of his doughnut. “You can have it.”

“You sure?” Ula tilted her head before seeing Atlas nod. “Okay.”

She then took the piece from his hand, soon enough eating it and...smiling widely.

Somehow, this made Atlas grin as he saw a familiar twinkle in her eyes.

“That was good!” she exclaimed, then reaching over to grab the doughnut box before opening it and reaching inside. “Here.”

“Hm?”

“Here, take this doughnut.”

“I thought you didn’t get one.”

“I didn’t, but my mom knows Jeff and Bubbles too well.” Ula smiled at Atlas.

“I can’t I already ate a whole doughnut.”

“No you didn’t.” Ula giggled, then splitting the doughnut in half before offering one piece to Atlas. “Come on, doughnuts are best when they’re shared.”

“Well,” Atlas now smiled as he took his piece. “I guess you’re right.”

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boasamishipper · 4 years

Text

i was tagged by @madamepinkvelvet to answer these questions - thanks tash! <3

Who were you named after? my great-grandmother, whose name was emma. my middle name is danielle for a friend of my grandmother’s, whose name was daniel. (technically my middle name is also a patronymic since i’m russian; ‘dmitriynva’ is for my dad, dmitriy.)

Last time you cried? a couple days ago, and i expect to be doing so with more frequency for as long as this pandemic lasts.

Do you like your handwriting? i do, yes.

What is your favourite lunch meat? chicken.

Longest relationship? 6 months.

Do you still have your tonsils? Yes.

Do you bungee jump? never have and never will.

What is your favourite kind of cereal? lucky charms and fruity pebbles, since i never got to have them growing up.

Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? nope.

Do you think you’re strong willed? depends on the situation, but usually yes.

Favourite ice cream? blue moon.

What is the first thing you notice about a person? i’m never very good with faces, so i usually notice their hair (and that’s how i keep track of them until i learn their names).

Football or baseball? both, but i understand baseball better. (go milwaukee brewers, go green bay packers.)

Favourite doughnut? the jelly or cream-filled kinds.

What music are you listening to? right now i’m listening to an 80s music playlist on spotify - currently ‘cheri cheri lady’ is playing.

If you were a crayon, what colour would you be? something yellow-ish gold, i think, or maybe a lighter purple like lilac.

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? my friend hannah. then we facetimed for a while.

Hair colour? brown, with blonde highlights.

Eye colour? brown.

Favourite food to eat? trader joe’s has these frozen shrimp pan-fried dumplings that i could eat forever.

Scary movies or happy endings? happy endings, all the way.

Last film you watched in the cinema? frozen ii, on a date with my now ex-boyfriend.

What colour shirt are you wearing? grey sweater, dark jeans, maverick mitchell dog tags, mismatched socks.

Favourite holiday? halloween!

Beer or wine? beer. not much of a wine person.

Night owl or morning person? night owl.

Favourite day of the week? thursdays.

Favourite animal? platypi are pretty lit.

Do you have a pet? yes! my family just got a four month old golden retriever, and we named him toby. he’s adorable (even if he eats my shoes too much).

Where would you like to travel? anywhere, once this pandemic is over. italy especially. london, paris, tokyo, new zealand (though i will need a hell of a lot of xanax to make it through a flight to the other side of the world)

tagging @icemankazansky @academicgangster @rochc93 @supergeekytoon @negative-ghostriderr and anyone else who would like to do it :D

#personal #thanks for tagging me!

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bastardsonofday · 6 years

Text

A Festival of Lights and Oil

Gift for: @librarian-of-orynth

Sorry if they’re a little ooc, I’ve never written nessian before.

Gift Prompt: like a nessian hannukah ficlet

Warnings: PTSD trigger and angst

Cassian’s PTSD gets triggered while cooking for hannukah dinner, Nesta is there to help him.

ao3 masterlist

Cassian was cooking dinner, you know, as you do.

Cassian liked cooking. It was relaxing. The formulas which kept you on track, a steady hand to guide you. Being able to tweak and taste your creation until you were finished. The smell.

He loved the certainty of it all. These days, so few things in his life were certain that it was calming.

And, he joked to himself as he diced radishes for salad, it was a good thing too, considering how he planned on spending the rest of his life being bossed around by Nesta.

Cassian popped an extra radish in his mouth and snacked on it as he turned his attention to the latkes.

If he was being honest to himself, Cassian liked sufganiot better. Jelly were his favorite type of doughnut as it was and also, if Cassian was going to eat something deep fried he decided he would go all the way. Not that latkes were bad tasting per se, but given a doughnut and a potato pancake? If Cassian was going to break from his healthy lifestyle the doughnut would be it.

But he still made latkes because he was cooking for his whole family and they liked them, also what was Hannukah without latkes?

All Cassian did was gently place a latke in the pan of oil to begin frying, but sometimes all it took was a little something.

The latke, as it fell, had splashed him with boiling oil. Which wasn't the most painful thing Cassian had ever experienced. In fact, far from it. But it didn't need to be.

Suddenly, Cassian was thrown back in time—eyes squeezed shut and spatula dropped onto the ground.

The sizzling of the oil—the burning on his back. The boiling hot pain which only lasted for a second, a couple droplets on his hands—the boiling hot explosion of pain of his wings, shredded, He'd shredded them-

Cassian stumbled backwards, slamming into the granite island behind him, only intensifying the pain. Cassian slid to the ground as the memories held him hostage.

Pain-pain-pain-

It was all he could feel. The smell of his own blood and screams that he couldn't remember if they were his own or someone else's.

This, Cassian realized (not for the first time), was the end. He wasn't going to survive this.

Nesta was used to coming home in the winter to a fully cooked meal, some time with someone she didn't hate, some great sex, and then a good night's sleep. When she opened the door and found the house filling with smoke as latkes burned on stove with Cassian cowering under the granite island counter she was, to be concise, shocked.

And their house was filling with smoke.

Tons and tons of smoke.

Nesta hurried over to Cassian, using her knitted scarf to cover her mouth. First, she put out the fire and dumped the scorched batch of laktes in the sick. Then, she opened all the windows despite the outside chill. Third, she dragged Cassian out from his hiding place and into the fresh air outside. Cassian stumbled as she pulled him along and fell hands first into the snow.

With the shock of the cold and chill against Cassian's skin he was pulled from his waking nightmare back into reality. His bones trembled and his body shivered. His breath came quickly, as if he'd been running miles and he sank himself slightly deeper into the snow, just to prove to himself that this—his home, the snow, Nesta—that this was real. Real and now.

Nesta knelt next to him, her scarf wrapped around his body. It was all she could give him.

They stayed together outside for a few minutes. For long enough.

Cassian let out a sigh of relief, and then nodded. Nesta helped him back inside.

"Sit." She ordered. Cassian fell onto the sofa. The room still smelt of burnt food, but the smoke had mostly dissipated.

Nests went to the kitchen and took two mugs from the cupboards. Hers, she filled with coffee. Cassian's with tea.

She stuck the mug in Cassian's hand and placed one leg over the other as she sat on the coffee-table across from him.

"What happened?" She asked shortly. More concerned than angry.

Cassian blew gently on his tea, bringing it near his mouth to see if it was an okay temperature to drink. Too hot. He placed it on the table beside her.

"I'm fine, Nes."

"What. Happened?"

Cassian toyed with his thumbs. "I-" He didn't know where to start.

"Cassian." She said softly. Nesta was almost never soft, not even to him. But when she was...

Like putty in her hands.

Cassian tumbled into her embrace, surprising her. Nesta put down her coffee and held him closer. "You're okay now." Cassian breathed her in. He knew her, in and out. Every whisper, every speck.

But she barely knew him sometimes, it seemed like for as much as he talked, he never told her anything.

"I was so scared." He breathed into her chest. He pulled his arms around her tighter. "I thought- I thought-"

He couldn't get the words out. He couldn't tell her that he thought he was going to die. Alone. Without ever finding someone he could rely on, give himself wholly and without sacrifice to—without finding Nesta. He couldn't tell her that at that moment, just for a second, that without wings to carry him and everyone he loved away from the wickedness of Hybern he wanted to-

Nesta hesitated and then gently ran her fingers through his hair. Cassian never seemed to show that he was scared, or that he was haunted by what had ever happened to him. And a lot had happened in over 500+ years of life.

"It's okay to be scared." Nesta said softly. Her voice rasping as the words came from her. Her fingers trembled. He needed her. He needed her so badly right now and for the life of her, she didn't know what to do. What to say.

"I don't ever want to feel like that again." Was all that muffledly came from Cassian as he burrowed his face deeper into her breast. And maybe, she thought feeling something wet, crying.

"It's okay. It's over now. Whatever it was, it wasn't real. You're here now. You've survived. You're safe. We're all safe."

Cassian took a deep snuffling breath. Safe. He repeated the word over and over in his head. Safe. Safe. Safe.

No Hybern to take his girl away. No war to threaten his life. Safe. Safe. Safe.

But-it had felt so real. The feeling of losing his wings, and of watching her go down into that Cauldron, to drown—forever, to go down into that swirling magic. Cassian's breath hitched.

Safe. Safe. Safe.

The doorbell ringed and Cassian jumped to his feet. He rubbed at his eyes, to wipe away any tears that may have been there. “I totally forgot! Family dinner-!”

“Cass, I can go tell them to go home. You don’t have to do this if you don’t feel up to it. I’ll blame myself, don’t worry it’s fine-”

“No, Nesta. I mean, thank you but no thank you. I want to do this. I’ll go-I’ll go back into the kitchen and-”

“Are you sure?” Nesta asked. She took his hand in hers. “I can cook, you know.”

“I like to do it. But, I’ll let you do the latkes.” Cassian replied softly.

The doorbell rang again.

Nesta stalked over to the door and flung it open. “We heard you the first time.” She snapped.

Az raised an eyebrow from the other side and nodded his head to Amren. “She couldn’t wait.”

Amren pushed past Nesta. “I hate this fucking body. Peeing sucks.” Amren disappeared down the hall.

“What’s that smell?” Az asked, shadows flickering around him. Az’s eyes widened slightly and he frowned.

“I wanted to help out Cassian with the cooking, but I accidentally put a towel on the stove. It burnt.” Nesta glared at Azriel as if daring him to challenge her story.

Az nodded. But Nesta was sure he didn’t believe her. The way he looked at Cassian told her he knew exactly what had happened, damn his shadows. But at least he was kind and tactful enough not to mention it.

Nesta walked over to the kitchen to fry the rest of the latkes while Cassian inducted Az into helping set the table. Az leaned over gently and took Cass’s hand in his.

Cass gave him a small comforted smile. “Thanks.”

“You’ve survived. You’ll survive again.”

Cass squeezed Az’s hand. “Happy Hannukah, brother.”

“Happy Hannukah.”

#diana writes a court of thorns and roses #nessian #nesta archeron #cassian #nesta & cass #cassian has ptsd #hannukah #happy hannukah #hannukah gifts

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cannibalisticshadows · 6 years

Text

Doughnuts (A Dear Evil Heaven One-Shot)

Ao3 | FF

Fandom: Megamind

Pair: Megamind/Roxanne

Summary: During this time of year, Megamind always gets a little sad. Roxanne tries to fix that.

It’s the start of December, he notes with disdain, and festivities are running rampant in the streets, colorful lights hanging on houses, sugary food in abundance, calls for charity, the increased “family time”.

It makes his stomach sick.

And so, having barricaded himself in a dark state of mind in his own room, he completely shut out the world entirely. Not even the brainbots were allowed to disturb him.

It ended after a few days when Minion burst through the door and demanded he get out. Why, though, he wondered grimly. He always goes into a hibernation of sorts during this time of year.

“Ms. Ritchi has been calling non-stop,” he said angrily, not at his girlfriend, at him, mind you, “She just called me earlier saying if you came over tonight she’d give you a surprise.”

“Oh, goodie,” he mumbled, running a hand over his stubble. He hadn’t shaved in a while. Instantly he thought of the typical “Christmas Spirit” spiel, but knew Roxanne didn’t celebrate that holiday—though it was also secular, not religious, right? Either way the festive concept gave him seasonal depression.

“Just go, please,” Minion begged. “She’s worried about you, Sir. The only reason, Ms. Ritchi says, that she hasn't come over again to—“

“She came over?”

“Thrice this week! You wouldn’t see her, remember!? The only reason she hasn’t tried to see you today or yesterday is because she’s getting ready for some kind of party.”

He glared.

“No.”

“Yes. Go. Please, Sir. I’d like to go to a holiday cooking class this evening, and I don’t feel comfortable leaving you here alone.”

He groaned. “Minion, that happened one time in my childhood.”

“I’m still not taking that chance.”

This went on for ten minutes before Minion, taking matters into his own fins, ordered a pair of bots to take him by the arms and quite literally drag him to Roxanne’s.

Flailing, cursing, and overall hating life, he found himself being thrown on his girlfriend’s balcony in a undignified thud.

The first thing he notices, after pulling himself off the ground (besides being suddenly, painfully aware of his state of dress [loose sweat pants and a tight short-sleeved band top {yes, he wears normal clothes, like a normal person, every once in a while}]), was the smell of confection foods, chocolate, sugar, and—overall baked goods. Secondly, he noticed the starring woman, who was passionate about eating healthy things and banning anything with so much as a gram of sugar, baking these things.

Had he died and gone to heaven?

He must have been standing there for a while, staring at this wee woman who was bustling about in her kitchen, frying balls of dough, it seemed, with the countertops covered in baked goods, because she suddenly froze and turned around, and met his eyes through the glass.

She dropped a pair of tongs and came running over, throwing the glass door open.

“Roxa—ooof!” Her arms were thrown around his abnormally long neck, her face pressed against the side of his head.

“Oh my god, Megamind,” she gasped, then pulled away to look at him. Her hands grasped his shoulders.

“Hi—“ he grasped as she smacked him hard on the chest.

“Do you know how worried I was!?”

“I’m—“

“No, no, don’t explain yourself,” she said. “Minion told me everything. I should be the one who’s sorry. I tried to come over today, but—“

“But…”

“I—just come on in, it’s colder than ice out here. You’ll catch your death.”

Numbly, he let her pull him inside of her deliciously warm apartment. The lights were off in her living room, with the kitchen lights on. The TV was off, with the radio on to some music he immediately recognized as Hebrew, and near the balcony window, which he’s now noticing, is a—

“Is that your—me-nora?”

“Menorah. Yeah.”

It wasn’t terribly eccentric; small and neat, about half a foot tall, with four straight silver-plated branches on either side of one tall branch in the middle. Atop these branches were tiny glass cups. The middle one and three to the right had a bud of a wick, sitting in what seemed to be oil, burned brightly.

“Why aren’t the others lit?”

“It’s the third night,” Roxanne suddenly said, almost awkwardly.

He then remembered this. One new candle each night.

He had missed the other nights with her.

It made him feel--it didn't make him feel very good. Actually, it made him feel like a complete bastard.

“Aah.”

“Come,” she pulled on his hand. “Have a doughnut.”

“I—I’m sorry, but who are you and what have you done to my Roxanne?” He laughed humorlessly because in all seriousness he wasn’t kidding. Roxanne always nagged him when he ate sweets. ”You don’t eat enough as it is! Why put this junk in your body?” Most of the time, anyway. What she didn’t know didn’t kill her, after all. But yet, here she was, offering him—doughnuts. Doughnuts.Which she made.

“Here,” she said, ignoring his statement. She thrust a warm round doughnut into his hands, half wrapped in a napkin, overflowing with powder sugar and leaking red jelly. “Try it.”

“Is this a trap?”

“Eat it.”

He took a bite.

It was scrumptious.

“Okay. Seriously. Who are you?” He asked her through a mouthful of her sweet confection.

“It’s tradition,” she said matter-of-factly.

“Okay,” he said, understanding. “So, why all this…” he gestured to the dozens of treats around them. Not that he was complaining. If this was his “surprise”, well, he was certainly pleasantly surprised. He was already close to finished this superb doughnut. But, even this seemed a little over doing it.

Roxanne threw her head back and groaned, wiping her powdery hands on her flower-printed apron. “So, my co-workers know I’m Jewish now, and asked our new boss, Robbie, if they could do something Hanukkah-themed this season. Somehow it turned into me baking for everyone.”

“Mhmm,” he commented wordlessly, biting into his second doughnut.

“It’s tomorrow,” she stressed, picking up her tongs to place another ball of dough in a popping pan of crumbly oil. “And I just found out from Lucy down in Sports that a group of the managers and their secretaries are coming for this holiday party, and three of them are Jewish, too, so—now I have like fifteen more people to cater too. Do you understand? I’ve been on my feet for hours.”

He was about to answer with an offer of assistance, but she cut him off before he could get out a single syllable. “No, no, don’t listen to my problems. This is about you.” She turned to him. “I came over Monday, but Minion said you were still squirreled away in your room. Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really.”

She pursed her lips. “Okay. It’s just—Megamind, you know—“

He tilted his head.

“I love you. I love you very much.”

He licked his lips, feeling his tongue go heavy in his mouth, and his apitite forgotten. “Roxanne…”

“Shh, don’t say anything,” she said in a low voice as if this was some big secret he has vowed to keep. She became very close, all of a sudden, and she placed her little hand on his chest. He forgot how she was near his size, despite her being more—curvy, in areas. Which he very much enjoyed. It distracted him, with her like this. Her hair had grown a bit since last year when they first began this relationship. She had sweated in here (it was hot, actually, in her kitchen), and stings of hair clung to her flushed face. A smudge of powdered sugar stuck to her cheek, and she smelled like a bakery. Her apron hugged her waist like a second skin. Plus it made her chest and derrière look amazing. Megamind didn’t know where to look. He licked his lips again, wondering how he should handle this situation.

She suddenly leaned over and kissed him. It sparked against his skin, his nerves, sending a million signals to his brain. It felt like he was on fire, yet completely flat lining at the same time. This woman!

“I was thinking the other day,” she said critically once she pulled away from the rather chaste mouth-to-mouth, turning around to turn the doughnut over in the oil. “I don’t really give you enough attention.”

This brought him to the right state of mind immediately. “What? Of course you do!”

“No, I mean—This past year, it’s felt like—the spotlight’s been on me? Sort of? And I—I well, I wanted to do something for you.”

He wasn’t sure what she was talking about; until he began to withdraw from the world in general at the start of winter, they spent most of their time together. Enough so that he actually—he feels unnecessarily giddy—met her parents (again), and her brother, and that was—an interesting experience. Either way they were joined at the joint (is that how people say it?)? What was all of this, then?

He wiped his powdery blue hands down the front of his shirt, having finished his third treat.

Suddenly, Roxanne reached behind her and untied her apron. He stood there, confused and feeling, absurdly, oddly excited at her undressing. They’re usually very innocent in all their physical trysts, but—she’s dropping the apron to the floor, and she’s—and—she’s wearing a white short-sleeved blouse, with a little oil stain on the turned-up collar, and sugar sprinkles, a jelly smudge, and—and she’s beautiful, he realizes in his rattled, dead brain, standing there like the sacrificial lamb. A blue knee-ledge skirt, too, but—

She’s taking his hand and placing it on her left breast.

!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

“Not tonight, Megamind, but soon.”

“Soon…”

“Yes. Soon.”

He gulped.

“I—“

In the back of his alien brain, he knew she was trying to tell him something, because her hand was over his, which was over her clothed breast, but there was some annoying Christmas music playing in the distance. It wasn’t coming from Roxanne’s radio, that was playing very soft instrumental Jewish music, but from somewhere in the building. His ears were stronger than Roxanne’s, so—

It must have gotten louder, enough for her to hear because she’s perking up, and—

“Oh, shit,” his girlfriend curses, pulling away from him. “I told them not to come until eight!”

His internal clock made him say, “It’s eight fifteen.”

“Oh no!” She whipped around and grabbed her tongs, pulling the doughnuts out of the boiling oil and onto a plate covered in several paper towel strips. “Megamind! Quick, put most of these in the boxes,” she motioned toward a stack of doughnut boxes on her breakfast bar. “Hurry!”

Momentarily panicking, because, really, he had no idea what was happening, Megamind just went with it and starting packing doughnuts like it was life or death. Whatever made Roxanne happy!

The music was getting closer, and now he could tell it wasn’t just any Christmas music, but blasting notes of “Santa Clause is Coming to Town,” at the same time as “Hanukkah Oh Hanukkah,” turning up on what must of been the highest volume. To him, it hurt his ears. As it became louder and louder, he heard the familiar sounds of teenagers and children, stomping down the hallway of Roxanne’s floor.

“They’re here,” Roxanne cried, rapidly trying to stuff the doughnuts into the boxes, as if this band of holiday horrors coming their way would burn them alive if they saw these treats on the premises.

“Who’s here?!”

Before she could answer, the door was banged up on a pair of several fists. “MISS RITCHIIII,” yelled a young man. “SANTA IS HEEERRREEE.”

“Shit,” she said, wiping her hands on a towel. After packing the last doughnut, she took the boxes and put them into the cabinet, stacking them neatly on the floor. “Whatever you do, make sure they don’t see these. They’re for work.”

“O-kay…”

She got up and ran to her currently-being-abused door. When she threw it open, he scowled.

“Mickey, what the hell are you doing here?” He demanded, sliding up next to Roxanne. In the doorway stood a gang of loud, obnoxious young people, varying in age and skin tones. Mickey, the leader of sorts of this group, was a tall African boy from Kenya. Michael Otieno had moved to America as a young child, and having been orphaned shortly after arrival, and speaking not a lick of English at the time, he was completely lost and alone. It was not surprising Megamind saw a kindred spirit in that, and temporarily kept him under his wing for a while until he placed him in a group home that he will never, ever admit to founding. Now, Mickey was nineteen and a complete pain in his ass.

“I’m the black Santa Clause,” he shouted, storming in with the rest of his gang—all of whom he knew. All of them were bobbing and dancing to a mix of holiday music, wearing the most hideous sweaters he had ever seen. “And it’s bloody Christmas time. Hohoho, bitches!” He wore a big red suit and white beard, caring a big burlap sack with dubious objects inside.

“Happy Holidays, Mr. Megamind, Ms. Ritchi!” A girl in an equally ugly Hanukkah sweater, swearing flashing blue sunglasses and little dreidel earrings, greeted and hugged his girlfriend. He knew her as Rebecca Heys. She was an orphan too, plucked out of an abusive foster home when she was eleven. That was five years ago. “Are we too late?”

Beside Rebecca was a young couple, Missy and Paula, who he more or less, accidentally, put together, when he learned Missy (at the time, she’d had near-crippling depression) had the same interests as Paula. So he introduced the two and hoped it worked out. Wasn’t that how friends were made? And friends—help each other? He came back a week later to accidentally walk in on them making out. Paula rubs her hands together and says, “If we’re late, we’re fashionably late.”

“Yes, you’re right on time,” Roxanne laughed, clasping her hands. The gang of teenagers clobbered together as they began to set up—a party? He sneered as they pulled out cookies and sweets, confetti and even louder music. Mickey gave him a rather tight bear hug, which he made a great feat as to not respond. They all smelled like coffee and cocoa.

“We’re here to show you guys the time of your fricken’ lives,” Fox, a lanky ginger-haired teen said, dropping a bowl of popcorn on the counter. “And damn does it smell like the Pillsbury doughboy's asshole in here.”

“Oh my god it totally does,” William, an African-American fourteen-year-old said. He was wearing a Kwanzaa sweater.

“And it’s so fucking warm in here!” Mickey commented.

“It’s colder than my mom’s tits outside,” Freddy, another kid from the group home pipped up, slamming a jar of what seemed to be egg-nog on the table.

“Language,” Roxanne reminded. “And that better be alcohol-free!” She said, directing the boys and girls to the dining room. “Megamind,” she said to him, voice raised to be heard over the chaos, yet quiet enough for him to only hear. “This is for you.”

“What? Why? You know how I feel about this stuff.”

“It’s not about that,” she said, shaking her head, “You’ve been inside for ten days.”

“It hasn’t been that long.”

“Yes it has,” she crossed her arms. “I’m reminding you that people love you. And for the rest of this month, I want to find you here. With me.”

He pursed his lips.

“Okay. Fine. I’ll play.”

“Hohoho,” Mickey said again stomping up to him with his big sack. He dropped it at his feet. Megamind stared at it as if poisonous snakes would slither out.

“They're presents!” Missy said, giving him a hug. “From all of us!” All of them gathered to see his reaction. Instantly, he felt on edge.

“Uh—“ he didn’t really know how to respond. Presents? For him?

“Who’s hungry?” Roxanne interrupted him before he could make a bigger idiot of himself. She came up behind him with a big tray of fruits and candies. Where did that come from?

“Food!” Someone shouted, as a couple of them came storming over.

“Hey, it’s okay,” she whispered to him. “I’ve got your back. Now, make sure they don’t find the—“

“FFFFFFUCKING DOUGHNUTS,” someone yelled, and the loud whoop from the whole gang sounded, followed by them all grabbing a dozen of the confections from her cabinet.

“Crap.”

~.~.~.~

Three hours later, over half of his “children”, as they all called themselves, left Roxanne’s apartment. Luckily they all were good enough to clean up after themselves, and not much was needed to be done once the party was over. Rebecca was with Roxanne near her menorah, and the older of the two women was directing the younger in the lightning. Now two menorahs burned brightly in the window. Rebecca’s cat menorah had wax candles, whereas Roxanne’s was oil. Beside them were Paula and Missy, who sipped on some fruity tea Roxanne gave out.

“It’s nice, you know,” Mickey said, sitting beside him on the couch, watching the women. “The Holidays.”

“I suppose,” he answered, tired. The festivity had been nice. And to be honest, he’d choked down three more doughnuts, much to Roxanne’s distress. At Megamind feet was the sack of presents—some bought, others handmade, and at least a dozen cards with holiday sentiments in his (sometimes with Roxanne as well) honor. He didn’t know how to process all of this, but the kids got excited when he examined each item. He particularly liked the miniature figure of himself. Very handsome. That was made by Rebecca.

“Hey man,” his couch-companion said, making him turn away from his girlfriend to the boy beside him. “I know you hate this time of year.”

“Oh?”

“You never do anything for the holidays. Not even before.”

“Before?”

“Ya know,” Missy suddenly said, appearing before them. Her arm was thrown around Paula’s neck, smiling cheekily. “When you were all ’I’m going to rule the world!’”

He scoffed. “I wanted Metrocity. Not the world. That’s too much trouble. And I have Metrocity!”

“Yeah, sure,” the boy laughed. “Just—I’m glad to see you, old man. It’s been a while.”

“Like, three whole weeks,” Paula said as if it was the end of the world. “We never see you anymore.”

“Hm.” Megamind wouldn’t admit it, but it was good to see them all too.

“Come over moooore,” Mickey whined like he wasn’t practically an adult.

“I’ll put it on my to-do list.”

“And treat her right,” one of the girls said, tilting her head to Roxanne. “She’s a good woman. She came up to us at the house and asked if we could come over and cheer you up.”

“I knew there was a reason I kept you children around.”

Mickey punched him in the shoulder. “See? Knew you loved us.”

Megamind smiled behind his hand.

“Oh! And nice beard by the way.”

~.~.~.~

Missy, Paula, and Mickey had finally gone home, leaving behind a sound-asleep Rebecca on the couch. He wasn’t against the idea of housing orphans (he’d cut his hand off before admitting), but he knew Rebecca was good and safe at the group home (he made sure of it). Megamind just—kind of wanted to be with Roxanne. Alone.

“She’s never really celebrated Hanukkah before,” Roxanne said, handing him an over-sized t-shirt. “This was the first time she’s lit candles.”

“Really?” she commented, pulling off his over top to pull the new one on.

“Is it—alright if I teach her a few things? I don’t think she could ask me enough questions.”

He twisted his face up in confusion. “Why would I be against it?”

“I don’t know. Yeah, that was kind of a stupid question. It’s just—you’re like these kids father. You're a daddy.” It was probably extremely perverted, but he found instant gratification when she more or less called him daddy.

“I am the daddy.”

She shot him a look, but she was smiling.

It was late. Very late. Late enough that Roxanne ordered Chinese for them and the kids, and watched a Christmas movie called How The Grinch Stole Christmas, and then a Jewish movie called The Frisco Kid, with an actor Mickey said was, “Willy Wonka”.

“And Michael’s so sweet,” she said, washing some bowels and plates in the skin. He stood by, drying them off. “You never told me you practically raised him!”

“That’s because I didn’t.”

“Pish,” she brushed it off. “That boy’s just like you. Big heart and big brain.”

“My heart is a dried up grape,” he barked evilly, chuckling when it made her laugh.

“I doubt that,” Roxanne said, putting away the last of the dishes. “If it was, would you be affected by this?”

“Wh—“

She slid up to him until her form was pressed against his. She's always so warm, and her curves so, so, so soft. Uuuuugh. He sucked in a breath, his mouth dry despite the three mugs of egg-nog he drank. “Why, Ms. Ritchi, there’s a child sleeping in the next room.”

“She’s sixteen.”

“A child.”

Roxanne sniggered and laughed against the sensitive skin of his neck. She kissed him behind his ear, hugging him tightly. He gasped again, fighting the urge to grab her rear end.

“Now… I need to make more doughnuts. They ate two dozen and a half.”

“Hmm.”

“Help me,” she asked, giving him a pouty smile. “It’ll be fun.”

“Only if I can have some.”

“Fine. One more.” She rolled her eyes and turned around, swaying her hips together, side to side, side to side, as she walked over to the cabinet. He felt a shameful amount of blood rush to his nether regions.

It was then, he noted, he wasn’t in the same state of mind he was in when he first got here.

Maybe the holidays weren’t so bad after all.

#megamind #megamind x roxanne #jewish roxanne #Hanukkah #Christmas #Holidays #happy holidays #!!#Dear evil heaven verse

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loubie364 · 5 years

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I haven’t posted anything for a while, due in part to waiting for all the pieces to fall into place for some rather exciting news, for me at least. Today it is 60 days till I go in for Deep Brain Stimulation (DBS) surgery!

I have wrestled with the idea of having DBS surgery for the last few years. I know that to some people this might seem like a no-brainer – “have the surgery, get back your quality of life”. It’s a lot easier to say this when it’s not your skull someone is drilling two holes into. So yes, I am a wimp, fear played a part in my decision making (or lack thereof). I justified to myself that there was no urgency to decide because:

There is so much development and exciting discoveries happening in Parkinson’s Disease research (and there are), surely a less invasive procedure will happen soon.

(In my opinion) the progression of the disease, in my case, was relatively slow and I was coping fine.

And, of course there was that fear thing…

After 13 years of living with PD and having to honestly (I am stubborn) admit that in the last 2 years things have become more challenging, the decision whether to have DBS surgery or not had been quite prominent in my thoughts. My wife has been quite keen on the procedure, (possibly to see whether there is in fact a brain in there) but has always made it clear that the decision is mine to make and that she will support me either way. It still came down to me to make the decision, not my neurologist, not my wife…….me! If I am to be totally honest, I had been avoiding making the decision, procrastinating and finding ways to delay it. A nudge, actually more of a shove was needed to get this decision made.

But how did I eventually get here?

I didn’t just wake up one morning and decide let’s do this. A lot of thought and prayer has gone into the decision. I considered my age, my childrens’ ages, what my wife and I would like to do in our future, my health, the progression of the disease, my frustration levels with my symptoms etc. But it was all kick started by a foolish decision I took.

A newish development where the whole procedure can now be done whilst I am blissfully in a state of anaesthesia (as opposed to being awake whilst they drill into my skull and then fiddle around in my brain) has gone some way towards making the decision easier. I don’t really want to be awake when they discover my brain is actually a jelly doughnut – I don’t want to see or think about that.

The Nudge

About 6 months ago I foolishly started following a diet off the internet, a YouTube clip which recommended the ketogenic diet for people with PD and showed the remarkable improvements achieved by the person who was following it. This was strange behaviour for me as I am not a follower of diets and I am generally quite cautious and sceptical of internet advice and usually check things out before trying them. I can only think that the frustration of the symptoms at the time got the better of me and I started the diet. The results were remarkable……that is remarkably disastrous. I lost about 5 kilograms in the first 10 days, my legs started cramping and generally I felt weak. My symptoms got worse, rapidly. At one stage I could not even walk to the kitchen to get my medication, I ended up crawling there. Upon seeking advice from a dietician, it turns out that the ketogenic diet is not good for someone with PD. As our bodies are constantly moving, we need to eat more like a professional sportsman – our bodies require carbohydrates and when the body doesn’t receive enough of that it goes and finds this energy source in its own muscles. It breaks down the muscle and feeds on itself – hence the weight loss and general feeling of weakness. I immediately stopped the diet and subsequently regained the lost kilograms and my symptoms improved somewhat. At the same time, I made an appointment with my neurologist, he was quite shocked by the sudden deterioration and reiterated what the dietician had said about the ketogenic diet and the danger about following advice on the internet. And then DBS made its re-entry. He said I should really give DBS some thought again and knowing from previous discussions my reluctance to being awake during the procedure told me about the new development where you are anaesthetised throughout the procedure. The suggestion was not a surprise, it had been bouncing round in my head as well. I had nothing to lose in starting the process and I don’t want to get to 70 and be left wondering if only I had tried it. I agreed that we could start the process, not committed yet but we could have a look and see.

The first step was to meet with a neuropsychologist. The appointment would take about 3 hours. As it was close to the end of the year, I thought I would struggle to get an appointment, but surprisingly an opening was available for the 23rd of November. This appointment is to assess whether you are prone to depression as this can become worse after DBS surgery and that affects where the stimulators are implanted in your brain. Being quite a private person, I am not a fan of having my life pried open. The assessment involved family history and a variety of tests of cognitive ability and current mental state. Fortunately, I am quite positive, and my cognitive ability is pretty good. It went well and the assessment ended early. The report was positive regarding my mental state and that I am not depressed. So, the first hurdle was cleared. I still had in the back of my mind that as we were now heading into December things would slow down so I would have a fair amount of time to get my mind around the procedure.

So, I was quite surprised when the completed report from the Neuropsychologist was sent a week later and even more surprised when I received a call from the neurosurgeon to say he had an opening on the 21st of December – everything was just falling in to place. It was starting to seem that prayers requesting that if this was the right path that doors would be opened were being answered. The meeting with the neurosurgeon was extremely positive and my wife and I came out of that feeling encouraged and hopeful.

I still had in mind that the process would still take some time. Once again, I was to be proven wrong, when on the 7th of January the neurosurgeon issued his report recommending the DBS surgery and providing a provisional date for the procedure – 2nd March 2019. That was like one haircut away! It had become real so quickly. The required reports were sent to my medical aid for pre-authorisation. A slight delay occurred here as the medical aid was bit slow, resulting in authorisation only being granted on the 25th of February. This resulted in the neurosurgeon having to postpone the procedure as he needed the authorisation by the 22nd of February. The next available date was the 11th of May. So, I do have some time to prepare myself and not feel too rushed.

We’re doing this, I just hope they do find a brain in there 😊.

I am confident that this is the right decision. Lots of prayer has gone into this. It seems like everything is falling into place and leading me down this path, first the Ketogenic diet – something I never do (following unsubstantiated advice on the internet) but did and then the speed at which the neuropsychologists report came out and the rapid availability of the neurosurgeon for the appointment. I have also had so many people contacting me or my wife (out of the blue, with no knowledge that I am about to have the procedure done) with names of people who have had the procedure that are willing to share their experience with me. I believe this is the best time to do the procedure as my kids are going to be 18 and 21 this year and there are so many things I would love to do with them over the next few years. I am tired of always having to consider my symptoms before going out. It would be amazing to do spur of the moment activities again with my wife, my family, my friends without being concerned that I might freeze in the restaurant, cinema etc.

Final thoughts

When I tell people about the procedure, I am often told that I am strong (mentally & emotionally), but that can’t be further from the truth, reality is I am a wimp (as mentioned earlier). But I can only vouch for the truth in Philippians 4:13 “I can do all this through Him who strengthens me”.

I tell people I am going into the procedure with an open mind – literally. It is amusing, but I do need to remind myself to maintain balance. To be hopeful, but to also keep a tight rein on not being too expectant of a massive improvement. I would rather hope for some improvement and be surprised by a substantial improvement rather than expecting 100% and getting 50%.

So, whichever way I look at it, my journey takes a newish direction soon. It may not be a cure, but I am confident this will be the start of regaining some of my life that I have lost.

Hope springs eternal.

“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” – Isaiah 43:19 {NIV}

“When you look at a field of dandelions you can either see a 100 weeds or a thousand wishes.” – Unknown

“Live in constant anticipation” – Bob Goff

The countdown I haven’t posted anything for a while, due in part to waiting for all the pieces to fall into place for some rather exciting news, for me at least. 1,673 more words

#Dandelions #DBS #Decision #Deep Brain Stimulation #deepbrainstimulation #faith #Hope #lifewithpd #Parkinson&039;s Disease #Parkinsons

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callmemab · 5 years

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3, 29, 96

#3: How’s your heart feeling right now?

Actually, pretty good. I suffer from chronic depression, and for the last few weeks, I’ve been trying to recover from being back home with my family, who aren’t exactly good for me. But today, I woke up early 11am, which is so much better than my usual like 5pm on the weekend, got some Starbucks, and then @drusyjones and her hubby, my roommates (well, 2 out of 5), came home with a new kitty. His name is Nubby, ‘cause he has a little nub-nub of a tail, and he is a cuddle bug. How can ya have heavy heart on a day that involves cuddles from a new kitty and Starbucks!?

#29: Do you believe in magic in general?

Short answer: yes. Long Answer: I don’t believe that people can make themselves disappear, or anything like that. But I do believe there are things in this world that logic and reason can’t explain (yet). I’ve seen enough weird shit, like my mom’s tarot card reading abilities, that can’t be explained by anything other than: ‘bitch knows some shit she shouldn’t be able to know.’ But also I believe that storytelling, no matter the medium, words, song, Instagram post, is on of the most magical things out there.

#96: Favorite pastry?

Heh. The thing about me is this: I’m not overweight because I eat too much food. I’m overweight because I eat too much sweets. So I’ve never met a pastry that I’ve not liked. Also, I worked in a bakery for like 6 years in high school and college, so I’ve got a lot of pastry experience in me. I’m partial to the good old classic doughnut: iced, jelly, cinnamon sugar, I don’t mind, I eat ‘em all...But really. any pastry is a fine pastry.

Thanks for asking, @vincesnoirs!!

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wizardhq · 6 years

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✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ: 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏𝒕 (42) – 𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓻𝓽 𝓸𝓯 𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓶.

“the very best of evenings to you! now, to our new students, welcome, and to our old students, welcome back. another year full of magical education awaits you.”

Once again, another year at Hogwarts has rolled around. The boats full of first years sail with purpose towards the castle, the trains arrive, and the carriages bring themselves to a halt. The start of term is here.

TRAVEL SCHEDULE:

Platform 9 ¾ Quarters: The students arrive at the platform, loading their luggage onto the Hogwarts Express, and bid farewell to their family for now.

Hogwarts Express: The train departs at eleven o’clock without fail, arriving in Hogsmeade Station by the early evening. During the usually adult free long journey to Hogwarts, students may enjoy wizard treats from a trolley. The prefects have their own cabin, where they go over the plan of action with this year’s Head Boy and Girl.

Hogwarts Carriages: The thestral pulled carriages help the students travel from Hogsmeade village to the castle, years second through seventh, as the first years take the boat. Due to it being raining when they arrive, the hoods have been attached to the top of the carriages.

Arrival: Students from their second year and up are given around thirty minutes to settle in, freshen up, change into their robes if they didn’t arrive in them, and make their way down to the Great Hall while the first years are round up for the sorting ceremony.

START OF TERM FEAST:

Sorting Ceremony: The sorting ceremony occurs. It’s a yearly ritual performed at the beginning of each school year, it’s purpose being to assign first years, as well as other new students, to one of the four houses: Gryffindor, Slytherin, Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw.

Hogwarts Song: After the Sorting Ceremony, The Hogwarts School Song will be performed by students and members of The Frog Choir before the beginning of the new school year. “Hogwarts, Hogwarts, Hoggy Warty Hogwarts, Teach us something please.”

Frog Choir Performance: The frog choir then goes on to perform their yearly rendition of Something Wicked. They’ll then be doing a medley of different Wizard Hits from earlier that year they would’ve been set to practice during the summer, complete with choreography, before they then do a medley of hits in the muggle world. They’ll be accompanied by orchestra members who are not in the choir.

Important Announcements: Right before the start of the feast, new members of the teaching staff are introduced to the student body, and important announcements and messages concerning the new school year are given. This will be done by the Headmaster, who tell his audience to take note of their surroundings this fall, and heed the previous warnings of the Ministry despite the curfews being lifted in regards to the Cauldron Heists. “A watched pot never boils over.”

Start of Term Feast: It’s time to eat! The types of food served are roast beef, roast chicken, pork chops, lamb chops, sausages, bacon, steak, steak and kidney pie, boiled potatoes, roast potatoes, mashed potatoes, chips, Yorkshire pudding, peas, carrots, gravy, ketchup and peppermint humbugs. For dessert, there will be blocks of assorted ice cream, apple pies, chocolate gateau, treacle tart, pumpkin tart, chocolate éclairs and jam doughnuts, trifle, strawberries, jelly and rice pudding.

Free Time: After the end of the feast, second through seventh years are welcome to catch up with their friends and faculty. Seventh year prefects are instructed to show their new first year housemates to their new dorms, and give them any further instruction needed. The Head Boy and Girl will have a meeting with Dumbledore in his office, and the rest of the prefects are free to do as they please until 10PM, where they will all pair off for rounds to make sure none of the younger reasons are running about. Head Boy and Girl will do a second round at midnight to make sure everyone is back in their dorms, with the help of prefects if needed.

HUFFLEPUFF HOUSE PARTY:

It is round and earthy and low-ceilinged; it always feels sunny, and its circular windows have a view of rippling grass and dandelions. There is a lot of burnished copper about the place, and many plants, which either hang from the ceiling or sit on the windowsills. Our Head of house, Professor Pomona Sprout, is Head of Herbology, and she brings the most interesting plant specimens (some of which dance and talk) to decorate our room — one reason why Hufflepuffs are often very good at Herbology. Our overstuffed sofas and chairs are upholstered in yellow and black, and our dormitories are reached through round doors in the walls of the common room. Copper lamps cast a warm light over our four-posters, all of which are covered in patchwork quilts, and copper bed warmers hang on the walls, should you have cold feet.

The Hufflepuffs have decided to take it upon themselves to host a little get together the beginning of the school year, with September 1st falling earlier than usual on the calendar. It’ll be on Saturday, September 2nd. There’ll be drinks, recreational plants ( kiosk / general section, ) games, a vinyl selection being played on the common’s gramophone, and naturally, food, with the kitchens being so close and the house elves being happy to please. All of the houses are invited, though it’s primarily a party for the sixth years and up. The cosiest common room in Hogwarts is famed for having no official password. All one must do to enter the Hufflepuff Basement is tap the barrel two from the bottom, middle of the second row, in the rhythm of ‘Helga Hufflepuff’, which will make the lid swing open, exposing a passageway that will lead to the basement when crawled through. However, if the wrong lid is tapped or the wrong rhythm is used, the intruder will be doused in vinegar and barred access. Leave your prefect badges in your dorm rooms, and don’t tell the professors!

FIRST DAY OF CLASSES:

First Day of Classes: Classes begin at 8:30 in the morning, and breakfast is open from 7:00AM. Everyone will find out what their curriculum will consist of, and sign ups for extracurriculars will be up on the General Bulletin Board. Advice sheets for Quidditch hopefuls planning on trying out for the teams and/or trying out for the position of captain the second week of school will be up as well. All house sheets will be made by professors, as there are no teams with current reigning captains this year. All players and captains will thus be chosen by the Heads of House. The schedule for Quidditch will be posted by @poiisonedquills, which will also duel as a post signifying the opening of updates for all extracurriculars.

IMPORTANT OOC DETAILS:

This event will start on AUGUST 13TH AT 12 PM EST and end on on AUGUST 20TH AT 12 AM EST, meaning this will be a SEVEN DAY EVENT. MONDAY and TUESDAY will be dedicated to the travel schedule, and WEDNESDAY and THURSDAY will be dedicated to the feast, which will be on Friday, September 1st IC a.k.a. in character. FRIDAY and SATURDAY be dedicated to writing the hufflepuff common room party ( open to all houses, ) which will be on Saturday, September 2nd IC. Skipping the following Sunday IC, SUNDAY will be dedicated to the first day of school, which will be Monday, September 4th IC. Please put all posts (including any private thread starters, pictures, anything related at all) under the tag #wizard:startofterm89.

Notice: With the school year returning, the #wizard:hogwarts tag is officially reopened. Please remember that #wizard:students is for all starters posted by student characters only, #wizard:alumni is for all starters posted by alumni, #wizard:world is for all starters posted anywhere outside of Hogwarts roughly, and #wizard:hogwarts is self-explanatory. All open starters are tagged with #wizard:open, and all closed starters are tagged with #wizard:closed. You should always have a minimum of three tags on a posted starter sans the event tag, or else you’ve missed one.

This event is mandatory, meaning if you’re on the dash, your student character(s) have to be participating in some form or another. The same goes for any alumni characters that are Hogwarts Staff.

After the event ends, you’re free to write the rest of the first week of school at whatever pace you like. Since it’s still August OOC, what will end up happening is the first week of school will be written over a two week period. After that, September will be here, and we’ll be free to resume our weekly writing periods. There will be an important plot drop writing event during September, so the spare week we’ll have already written will probably wind up being used to our advantage, in terms of time management!

Student muses are encouraged to continue any summer holiday threads until completion-- you don’t have to close them if you don’t want to. Alumni muses are DEFINITELY encouraged to not close summer holiday threads, instead keeping them and beginning to also add new threads into your drafts as well.

Please like this post after reading it.

If you have any questions, please feel free to message the main.

#wizardevent #***#q. ( this is scheduled! )

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subindex · 6 years

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My First Graze Box: The Rest of It

I am a Grazer. Having subscribed to my first official Graze box and having decided to continue that subscription, I not only believe myself to be initiated, I believe my stomach to be initiated as well. My dreams are full of wrapper adventures while my meals are left half finished in the spirit of portioning off grazeable amounts of food. Never will I sink into the gluttonous sin of a full stomach again.

That being said, my boyfriend and I shared three snacks at once a few days ago, and I plan to eat the remaining four over the course of the hour it will probably take me to write this experience, as sublime as it will be.

Thai Style Sweet Chili, Anytime Energizer, and Jelly Doughnut are the snacks we chose to sacrifice together, my boyfriend and I. The chili was full of nuts and beans, some of my least favorite ingredients in life. I savored every sweet and slightly spicy crunch, for nuts and dried beans would never taste so good again. Each bite was like a prayer to the gentle and nourishing sun, cradling my spiritual crops--as well as my taste buds--with a mother's warmth.

The Anytime Energizer was less profound and carried more practical and gym-time notes. The pear pieces had too little taste for the volume of chew that they packed. The cherry was too cherry. The walnut was just right. My inner blonde-braided child sufficed that it was good eating for someone else.

Then came the astoundingly addictive tartness of the Jelly Doughnut. The name describes the flavor perfectly, yet does the snack so much disservice as real jelly doughnuts are just bags of puffed up wheat with uneven patches of Snow White foundation and too much chemically flavored edible lipstick caked onto the teeth. The one true Grazer's version is a collection of raspberry flavored jelly strings, small crisp cookie drops that smell like vanilla cake and crumble in the mouth like tea biscuits, actual dried fruit and tiny chopped slivers of almond that add a hint of cherry to each whiff as well as a creamier texture akin to almond milk, only in solidified form. Did I mention how much I dislike nuts and cherry?

I loved this.

Did I also mention that I'm still on my period and therefore have to nap in the middle of the day at the height of Advil efficiency like some old lady with lifelong post-surgery back pain? Well, here we are about three hours later and a New York Everything Bagel in hand to keep my hunger busy while the roommate and I wait for my boyfriend to come home with some delicious steaks in tow.

The NYE Bagel certainly smells like a bagel, which is one of many delicious morning smells to wake up to. Naturally, because I love nuts so much, I go for the cheese cashews first, stained with orange dust as they are. I don't know what they do with their nuts, but they're always creamy. If nuts always had the taste and texture of milk, I wouldn't dislike them so much. The poppyseed onion sesame sticks really pack that "everything" flavor, along with that of a crunchy toasted crust. This is bagel heaven for me. There's nothing better than biting halfway into the ring of a freshly crisped bagel, the brim of it hard and brittle and the furthest part of your bite digging through a thin granite top just before cutting into the tootsie bread center. The sesame sticks are just that experience over and over again, and the satisfaction runs deep into the root canal. Admittedly, I thought the roasted pumpkin seeds were going to be my least favorite part, but they're soft and almost fluffy, making up the warmed and tender part of the bread. Get a pinchful of all three ingredients together, and you get a tiny bagel with a lot of punch. I almost want to spread cream cheese on it, but there's no reasonable amount of surface area to work with.

Next up is the Snickerdoodle Dip. My favorite part about Graze snacks so far is always the wrapper removal. I get hit with a cozy aroma, cinnamon logs roasting in a pretzel fireplace. I dislike pretzels, but these sticks give me the same feeling as when I light a scented candle--I know I'm going to sniffle from allergies for a couple days, but at least for now my nose gets well pampered. I'm not sure if I've ever had snickerdoodles before, so I'm not sure what they're supposed to taste like, but I imagine they taste just like the fuzzy cookie butter caramel residue I just licked off the wrapper. The pretzel stick by itself is, as with my allergies to perfumes, full of regret. My nose predicted sugar and spice, but there was nothing nice. They do taste wonderful though and my roommate is apologizing for taking more than one. Whatever snickerdoodles are, the dip tastes like caramel graham crackers, and coats the pretzel with the same kind of family Christmas spirit as a stocking full of common necessities (toothbrush, floss, chapstick, socks). It's both delicious and heartwarming and I never want it again.

The Sweet & Spicy Beet Crunch is the first Graze snack I legitimately dislike. The jalapeno chickpeas have an airy crunch, further elevated by a mild pepperish fever. The sunflower seeds do nothing but add more disgustingly soft texture to the beet chips that don't deserve to be called chips. They chew without being chewy. They twist and bend around the grinding of the teeth and slowly deform under large amounts of pressure like half-hardened glue. After smelling something similar to the blue BBQ potato chips sold on the Jet Blue airline, my expectations were depressingly let down.

The Fantastic Forest Fruits is like a snack you'd expect to find in a fairy tale hermit cave. I imagine an old herbalist crone, 129 going on 130, her home littered atop the entire low ceiling of the cavern with hooks and ropes tied up around bundles of sage, cinnamon sticks, yew twigs, berry pouches, and numerous other forest collectibles. A small cavity in the wall has a smoked out cold fire going, keeping that small space dry and dehumidifying the rack above it. That rack is covered in some kind of mesh, and on top of that is the pile of soft, dried fruits that this snack comes from. I can almost smell the crone in these fruits. These are easily one of my favorite Grazing nibbles, if only because it appeals to my fantasy fascination. That, or it appeals to my current period cravings.

I can't wait 'til the end of the month when I get my next Graze box. And also when my period ends.

#SubIndex #Subscribe.Indulge.Express #Subscribe Indulge Express #graze box #wrapper-kun #Thai Style Sweet Chili #Anytime Energizer #Jelly Doughnut #New York Everything Bagel #Snickerdoodle Dip #Sweet & Spicy Beet Crunch #Fantastic Forest Fruits

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