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#also i did not forget about the challenge
kinardscoffee · 6 hours
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Sorry in advance for the length—
It’s not lost on me that a lot of those complaining about Buck & Tommy’s relationship, their dynamic, and the way they communicate— like Buck flirting about daddy issues instead of having a serious conversation about Tommy’s poor relationship with his father or Tommy returning that energy in kind— are not queer men or men-aligned or adjacent. And many of them are— I dunno— projecting, I guess, what they would want from a man in a relationship, if they were in this relationship.
This is why so many of their analyses include comments about what’d be a dealbreaker for them or what they’d rather see in a partner for them or how they, as a non-man, are turned off by X-Y-Z things men do or say, but in a relationship with a non-man. It all completely ignores that 1.) neither man is a self-insert, and 2.) these complainers would never be a party in this relationship because they aren’t men or men-aligned or adjacent. They aren’t just forgetting that Buck isn’t a self-insert, but that he is a man, Tommy is also a man, and they are into each other because they’re both men. Their dynamic and their relationship is different than the dynamic and relationship between a man and a non-man.
Not being queer men (or men aligned or adjacent) is coloring their interpretation of Buck & Tommy’s relationship, leading to critical— and homophobic— misinterpretations of their dynamic. For example, I bet NONE of them understand that, anymore, “daddy” is so wide spread, it isn’t inherently a sexual term or inherently related to kink. Among a lot of queer men today, a “daddy” generally or usually just refers to an attractive older gay man. Yes, it commonly is used to refer to an older gay man who might support, mentor and/or sleep with younger or newer men entering the community, but, anymore, that is not inherently or always so. The term “daddy” and the use of “daddy” is also not inherently used to refer to kink as they’ve all assumed (not to mention kink is not inherently or always sexual). Yes, it may be used to refer to one half of a BDSM daddy/boy dynamic, but— again— that is not inherently or always so. Fuck— there are guys who use it as a term of endearment and that alone. Like… the term as it’s used in popular vernacular today made the jump over from leather subculture, but its use also no longer inherently refers to leather daddies. Before its use in leather subculture, the word and similar words as a term for a man in a romantic partnership was a feature of AAVE. It then made the jump into queer vernacular through black queer men, and was used to challenge prominent ideas of masculinity by appropriating symbols of masculinity as aspects of gay sexuality.
“Daddy” does not mean the same thing to queer men as it does to them, but they are interpreting the word as if it does.
Tommy’s line did not inherently mean he hopes Buck wants to call him “daddy” during sex. It absolutely did not mean that he hopes Buck’s trauma gave him a daddy kink. There are so many interpretations of this scene, but none of the complainer’s interpretations are queer-competent interpretations because they aren’t queer men (or man aligned or adjacent). 1.) Tommy is an “older” gay man. That’s it. 2.) Buck wants to call Tommy daddy— maybe sexually (related to kink or not) or maybe just for shits and gigs or maybe as a form of endearment— and Tommy expressed he is on board. 3.) Buck has a daddy kink (sexual or not), was expressing this to his boyfriend, and his boyfriend expressed that he’d be into it. 4.) Tommy is continuing to deflect from discussing his own daddy issues. 5.) Tommy was expressing that he hopes that Buck, a man new(er) to the community, wants to romantically and sexually be with a man who is older than him. 6.) Tommy was turning Buck’s banter about daddy issues into one about age. 7.) The conversation was simply setting up Buck & Tommy’s season 8 arc. 8.) All of the above.
“I don’t like it—” “I think it’s gross—” Well, congrats! It’s not for y’all! Now stop judging a romantic and sexual relationship between two fictional men by what y’all personally would want irl and how y’all personally would feel as a non man in a irl relationship with one of these fictional men. This isn’t y’all’s fave fanfiction trope or AU or self-insert; it’s not gonna cater to y’all’s tastes and preferences. If y’all don’t like the characters and y’all don’t like the character-driven plot because y’all are not seeing two men kiss in the way y’all prefer, then stop watching. Please. Stick to AO3 and fanfiction and your non-canon ship if y’all are so miserable.
Like, yeah, I bet y’all wouldn’t interact with a man that way, y’all wouldn’t converse with a man that way, y’all wouldn’t want a man to talk to y’all that way, y’all wouldn’t banter with a man that way, y’all wouldn’t be attracted to a man that way, y’all wouldn’t want a man to like y’all that way, y’all wouldn’t flirt with a man that way, y’all wouldn’t want a man to flirt with y’all that way, y’all wouldn’t date a man that way, y’all wouldn’t have dinner with a man that way, y’all wouldn’t want a man that way, and y’all wouldn’t fuck a man that way because y’all aren’t queer men (or man aligned or adjacent), y’all aren’t Evan Buckley, and— whether y’all want to believe it or not— an mlm relationship ain’t about y’all.
—sincerely, a queer man who saw a post where the OP said they’d STONE (“pelt him with rocks until he dies”) Tommy if he ever made a daddy issues joke on a date with them because they don’t like when men view women’s trauma as something they can exploit for sex…
I’m also convinced none of these individuals have ever been in an adult relationship, because how is that a proportional response? And the homophobia of stoning a gay man? You cannot separate this from the character’s context: he’s a gay man. Like hello??? Also, what a terrible way to bring up a very real and serious issue for women just to try and invalidate two fictional men’s attraction to each other. Plus… neither Buck or Tommy were exploiting one another; you are inadvertently suggesting queer men prey on men.
Uhm... don't ever fucking apologize for this!
I'm honored that you shared this with me, and now everyone can read this and hopefully take something away from it 💙
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fanficfish · 2 days
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idk if i ever posted this but
Why Canada is Actually Jacked
Ramble time!
Canada can withstand MULTIPLE America punches. America is canonically Buff Guy. He's the most jacked of all jacked, he's a superpower, he can drag a car around for an hour no sweat, he probably run marathons for warmups. He could swing a bison around at age barely-old-enough-to-function. His punches have to hurt (and his hugs must be amazing).
Canada could handle having America throw a baseball at warp speed into his face, then handles several MORE of those. Those things would probably kill a person if American threw like that at anyone else. Or at least cause more then just A LIGHT BRUISE. Someone did calculations and figured America could probably carry some dang heavy stuff and have some ridiculously high strength threshold.
Which actually might be why America dares to throw so hard with Canada. He knows the guy can handle it.
Also Canada probably had to reinforce his doors so America wouldn't break them when barging in. But clearly it's worked out.
Also should I mentioned Canada canonically eats as much as America? Both resemble each other enough that Canada has to put that calorie dump somewhere....only natural he's probably in America's little workout boot camp. Makes sense, they do a lot of stuff together both IRL and in Hetaliaverse. Pretty sure I heard something about military cross exercises?
Canada is lugging a polar bear around. A polar bear that can grow bigger then Russia.
Also he's Canada. Lumberjacks, rugged dudes with beards and poutine.
And don't forget: he's never lost a war, has the 2nd-largest amount of land, and has done well considering he probably also deals with General Winter and has to deal with America on a near-daily basis.
so tldr: canada buff he's just hiding it and probably is one of few characters that stand a chance against America in a test your strength machine challenge.
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♫ I do what I want/Crying in the bleachers and I said it was fun/I don't need anything from anyone ♫
(ID in Alt) you guys ever think about your own posts and get upset?? Anyway Damian Wayne I love you I'm so sorry your life is like that
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domaystic · 3 months
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It's Domaystic 2024!
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Hello, hello! This is the third year of DOMAYSTIC, a domestic trope based prompt event running in May :D
This is the main post for the event and in the picture above there are the prompts.
They're 31 prompts (no alts this time), but they are also divided in three main categories, which I loosely labelled as "people from everyday life" from 1 to 10; "things from everyday life" from A to J; and "general-container-stuff that can be bent to one's own desires" from roman number I to X. Plus, at the very end, a free choice option (we never had one and the days are not even ahahah).
List of prompts
Category: people from everyday life 01. driver 02. shop assistant 03. plumber 04. public servant 05. teacher 06. receptionist 07. mechanic 08. health professional 09. baker 10. landlord
Category: things from everyday life A. konmari B. me/us time C. shopping points D. odd appliances E. building renovations F. frozen G. memento H. wild animal I. ritual J. dreadful weather
Category: general-container-stuff I. proverb II. tutorial III. poll IV. numbers V. emergency VI. quiz VII. cliché VIII. art IX. official document X. song
* free choice
Guidelines, tags example, AO3 link under the cut!
General rules and guidelines
Domaystic is open to any fandom or original content.
Any kind of media is welcome. You choose your way of expression.
There are no limits/restrictions on how your fill should be.
There’s a total of 31 prompts for 31 days.
To join the event one can do a prompt a day following the list as it is; or following the sequence they prefer; or only the ones of their liking, even just one.
Or, and this is my challenge proposition for anyone who wants to take it: try to combine one prompt from each one of the three categories + the free choice. Which in total would produce 10 fills + 1 if all are done.
Share your work anywhere you want or keep it to yourself, that's fine. If you share it on tumblr and tag this blog, I’ll reblog it.
If you also want to combine these prompts with another fandom event, that's okay.
Domaystic runs actively throughout May; if you join or tag the blog on a later date, that's fine too, I just reblog on a lower pace after May is over.
In case of lengthy posts on tumblr, use the "read more" option: ctrl-shift-k on rich text; [[*MORE*]] on html (remove asterisks)
AO3 collection
The domaystic2024 collection is open from May, 1st: click here - info and prompts are also on the profile page.
Tagging your tumblr post:
Mention the blog in your post @domaystic - tracked tag: #domaystic2024
State the fandom name or if it is original content
State if it is sfw or nsfw
Please, always TAG PROPERLY for any trigger warning. I will base my own reblog on your tags so, please, take even a moment longer to carefully tag it. I hope all participants to stay safe in this event.
Here’s an example:
It took me 2 nights to write this @domaystic, look at my stuff! #domaystic2024 #[fandom name or original content] #[sfw or nsfw] #[trigger warnings that I get from your post] tw
And this is it! For any question, doubt, etc. the askbox is always open :)
Hi @thebigbangblogproject, can you reblog this? Thanks :D
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cleromancy · 5 months
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sexiest and funniest thing roy harper ever did was look at dick grayson and go i could fix him
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vvitchering · 6 months
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Trying to do an Astarion romance run as a card carrying Gale Enjoyer is hard, holy shit,,,,,
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discjude · 5 days
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Yeah this is about right (as always my thoughts are in the tags so there's actually kei content there lmao)
#Hester I adore you they could never make me hate you. Seriously the first chapter in 6 (bad candy) is like my favourite opener#Kei they could NEVER EVER make me hate you. did nothing wrong ever. rhian when I CATCH you#its so funny how my two favourite characters just like. hate each other. like japeth literally kills him#sad cause they're so SIMILAR. theyre both victims of Dog Metaphor its so sad that kei does Not like japeth in the slightest#personally if they had a good long discussion about their emotions at like 3am they could've probably stopped TCY from happening#but alas. Aric. somehow its all his fault again. why do I have an aricposting tag but not a keiposting one.#Hester easily has the best overall characterisation arc I love love love the way soman writes her#I remember when I read 6 for the first time#before japeth insanity happened#I used to anticipate her chapters over like everyone else's. Hester the 1 lesbian in the series you are deeply loved#I could write whole essays about japeth and kei's characterisation it is so sad that soman forgets kei exists#like he's meant to be rhian's eagle. that's his job. that's what he's spent a Long Time anticipating becoming#but rhian refuses to acknowledge it. instead he calls Japeth his eagle in book 4's ending#He eventually falls in love with Sophie#he only ever cares about the crown#how he GETS to the crown#and bringing his mother back. he lies more than japeth#and never once does he get to be the eagle. There's only three spaces - lion/eagle/snake - and he doesn't get to be any of them#dont even get me started on how he dies. surrounded by white swans. being purely good#god rhian II try not to fuck EVERYTHING over challenge. and also Aric. its all arics fault as well#keiposting#japethposting#actually not really jposting. didn't do it that much#sge#tsfgae#school for good and evil#the school for good and evil#sfgae#the school of good and evil#as much as I adore Hester I dont think I will talk about her much in detail ever so no hesterposting yet
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thepoisonroom · 1 month
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instagram
i know that watching videos of podcasting is cringe in a true self/false self way but as someone who also over-psychoanalyzes cishet boyfriends who "aren't on social media" this spoke to me
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beachyserasims · 7 months
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♡ Episode 9 | GENEVA ISLAND
♡ Autumn woke up and talked with Sean, Judi, and Rowan all morning, enjoying the company of good friends. On her one-on-one with the new islander Justin, her first impression of him is that he is off in dreamland.
♡ Judi spent the morning chatting with Sean, Autumn, and Rowan. When meeting Justin, her first impression is that he is utterly charmless.
♡ Jasmine talked with Blakes and helped him cook all morning. When he asked her to be his girlfriend she accepted without giving much thought, because she wants Blakes to herself after the Sophie incident. When meeting Justin, she accepted his flirting. She became upset to see Blakes upset with her, and she questioned moving too fast. Her head was an a swivel all night between the two boys.
♡ Rowan likes to work out every morning to keep up his physique for not only his job but also his rugged hobby lifestyle. He spent the morning helping cook and chatting with Sean and Judi. When he met the new islander, Justin, his first impression is that he is reasonable.
♡ Sean woke up hungover, which he seems to do often. His looming fear of failure and death catches up to him every morning as he continuously has nightmares of losing what he worked hard for back at home. That, and he is nervous that the experience will be a waste of time. He met Justin and thinks he is reasonable because of how similar they are to each other.
♡ Blakes woke up and talked with Jasmine before making breakfast with hers and Rowans help, and asked Jasmine to be his girlfriend which she accepted. He doesn’t like Justin and thinks he is in dreamland. Later, he caught Justin flirting with Jasmine and it made him very upset.
♡ Justin entered the Villa and had one-on-one time with each girl while they played a game of chess. He met Autumn and had the first impression that she is pretentious, and gave her a suggestive look while they played. When he met Jasmine, his first impression of her is that she is funny, and he thinks she is very charming.  He met Judi last, and thought she is not his type. When meeting Sean, he thinks he is sophisticated and likes his style, and thinks Rowan and Blakes are both imaginative. In the evening, he flirted with Jasmine.
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The Start || Episode #1 || Previous || Next
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soft-serve-soymilk · 2 months
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idk why my brain is suddenly hung up on torturing dism but i'm here for his fraught and tortured questions :)
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cuntstable · 1 year
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i need to think about the potential of kakyoin and pucci teenage friendship at the evil vampire mansion more!!!
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northwest-by-a-train · 8 months
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The amazing thing is not that the stomach churns, it's that it doesn't churn more often
#I've seen people say ''hamas is not murdering civilians it's expelling settlers''#i've seen people be rabidly anti-Semitic about people fleeing in airports#newsflash: there's not exactly a robust train system or safe roads#i've seen people— neighbors. neighbors. say that animal control is the best solution for this#i've seen people posting maps of reservoirs in Gaza and @-ing the Israeli government in it#i've seen pictures#i've seen people calling for retaliation on Iran and listing off targets#i've unfollowed countless people I thought I had things in common with because nothing anyone can do is criminal#forget evil for a second; evil's not a historical category#this is; as another put it; a series of massacres#and yes most if not all anticolonial movements went through massacres#and I do believe people who switch sides or withdraw any sympathy and wash their hands of it the moment a massacre are committed#i believe that those people are deeply unserious; no matter how sympathetic i am to them#and I also personally don't believe Hamas is doing this half-cocked/for the fun of it/with no blueprint for the political aftermath#i do think this is not random; senseless violence. it was carefully planned violence. a very organized massacre#and of course the stomach churns to that; as it did to what came before and what came after#i just wonder whether anything else is possible. if there is a path to peace where our stomachs will not churn. one not forged in massacre#it wasn't possible for French Algeria. it wasn't possible for India. it wasn't possible for Haiti. it has happened elsewhere#but can anything else happen here ? within these borders ? with these people ? with all the blood ?#so as I have always done and will likely always do I support any Palestinian challenge to the occupation#but the stomach churns at it. don't believe it doesn't
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clown-owo · 1 year
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Can someone kick me out of the p3 tags I haven’t finished the fucking game. I keep going into the character tags like. Buddy. There are fucking SPOILERS here
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scientia-rex · 3 months
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When I was in ninth grade I wanted to challenge what I saw as a very stupid dress code policy (not being allowed to wear spikes regardless of the size or sharpness of the spikes). My dad said to me, “What is your objective?”
He said it over and over. I contemplated that. I wanted to change an unfair dress code. What did I stand to gain? What did I stand to lose? If what I really wanted was to change the dress code, what would be my most effective potential approach? (He also gave me Discourses on the Fall of Rome by Titus Livius, Machiavelli’s magnum opus. Of course he’d already given me The Prince, Five Rings, and The Art of War.)
I ultimately printed out that phrase, coated it in Mod Podge, and clipped it to my bathroom mirror so I would look at it and think about it every day.
What is your objective?
Forget about how you feel. Ask yourself, what do you want to see happen? And then ask, how can you make it happen? Who needs to agree with you? Who has the power to implement this change? What are the points where you have leverage over them? If you use that leverage now, will you impair your ability to use it in the future? Getting what you want is about effectiveness. It is not about being an alpha or a sigma or whatever other bullshit the men’s right whiners are on about now. You won’t find any MRA talking points in Musashi, because they are not relevant.
I had no clear leverage on the dress code issue. My parents were not on the PTA; neither were any of my friend’s parents who liked me. The teachers did not care about this. Ultimately I just wore what I wanted, my patent leather collar from Hot Topic with large but flattened spikes, and I had guessed correctly—the teachers also did not care enough to discipline me.
I often see people on tumblr, mostly the very young, flail around in discourse. They don’t have an objective. They don’t know what they want to achieve, and they have never thought about strategizing and interpersonal effectiveness. No one can get everything they want by being an asshole. You must be able to work with other people, and that includes smiling when you hate them.
Read Machiavelli. Start with The Prince, but then move on to Discourses. Read Musashi’s Five Rings. Read The Art of War. They’re classics for a reason. They can’t cover all situations, but they can do more for how you think about strategizing than anything you’re getting in middle school and high school curricula.
Don’t vote third party unless you can tell me not only what your objective is but also why this action stands a meaningful chance of accomplishing it. Otherwise, back up and approach your strategy from a new angle. I don’t care how angry you are with Biden right now. He knows about it, and he is both trying to do something and not doing enough. I care about what will happen to millions of people if we have another Trump presidency. Look up Ross Perot, and learn from our past. Find your objective. If it is to stop the genocide in Palestine now, call your elected representatives now. They don’t care about emails; they care about phone calls, because they live in the past. I know this because I shadowed a lobbyist, because knowing how power works is critical to using it.
How do you think I have gotten two clinics to start including gender care in their planning?
Start small. Chip away. Keep working. Find your leverage; figure out how and when to effectively use it. Choose your battles, so that you can concentrate on the battle at hand instead of wasting your resources in many directions. Learn from the accumulated wisdom of people who spent their lives learning by doing, by making mistakes, by watching the mistakes of their enemies.
Don’t be a dickhead. Be smarter than I was at 14. Ask yourself: what is your objective?
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themagical1sa · 1 year
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if i had a low grade in my understanding the self class, i would understand it because i don't think i've actually processed/understood myself in the past several months
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lovifie · 17 days
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A Ghost Of The Past
Prompt 15 - High school sweethearts reunite and find love again from @glitterypirateduck Ghost challenge - masterlist
Cw: mentions of Simon's childhood, some inaccuracies, little idiots in love, oral sex (fem receiving), pinv, unprotected sex, some glazing, cum play, afab reader
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Loving Simon Riley was easy. It came naturally. How could you not? 
Throughout every single year of high school, you were seated next to him. Every project was done together. Homework was done together. Study sessions were done together. Everything was done together. 
You were never invited to his house, even though you invited him to yours a thousand times. 
It was really hard to distract him during class, always saying that he had to pay attention during class because he couldn't study at home. Curiosity always urged you to ask the reason for it, but you never did. Not wanting to risk the friendship by sticking your nose where you shouldn't.
Still, as the two of you started to grow; puberty passing by, changes, new problems, harder courses, harder decisions. Simon found it harder and harder to concentrate, his sight constantly trailing off to you. 
He would shake his head, constantly reminding himself to stay focused. To be realistic. You were his friend and you didn't think of him in any other way. 
His movements would catch your attention, your eyes lingering for just a bit more than what would be considered casual on his face, on his frustrated looking face. Lips slightly pouting and furrowed eyebrows making you smile. 
Still, even as you were growing closer and closer; there was also an abyss threatening to open between the two of you. High school was ending in just a couple of months, and it didn't look like you shared the same plans after graduation. 
You were worrying about university, which degree to choose, your exams, where to go and Simon… Simon kept getting to class with new bruises and cuts. And every time you tried to pry in… he would push you back. 
“That looks like it hurts…” You said one morning, your forearm resting on his shoulder as you pointed at his busted lip.
“Well, aren't you a genius?” He harshly said, pushing your arm off his shoulder and making you sit straight so as not to fall. 
“Well, aren't you nice?” You said back, an annoyed tone in your voice as you turned to your notebook. “No need to be a dickhead, I haven't done anything to you.”
“You never do anything.” He mumbled under his breath.
“I heard that.” You say, turning your head at him.
“Do you want a prize?” He said, with a fake smile on his face.
“Fuck off, Simon. Talk to me when you get the stick out of your ass.” You say standing up, picking up your things to leave. 
He didn't say anything. 
What he did, was knock on your window in the middle of the night. The glass shaking in the rhythm of the Jurrasic Park movie theme song. You ran your blinds, coming face to face with a bloodied nose Simon; so you unlocked your window, staring at him as he looked ashamed to be there. 
"Do you mind if I sleep here tonight?” 
“..... c’mon in.” You whispered after a minute, taking a step back to give him space to enter. He swiftly did, silent as ever, his feet barely making a sound when connecting with the ground. 
You grabbed his hand, his first reaction was for him to avoid your touch before relaxing. You pulled him to the bathroom down the hall, trying your best to not make a sound. Pushing him to sit down on the toilet, and opening the cupboard under the sink for clean tissues. “I'm still mad, you know?”
“I know… I'm sorry, things… things have been difficult at home, I'm sorry.” He said, looking up at you as you cleaned the dried blood from his face. 
“You could have just told me… vent a bit, something. That's what friends are for, you know?” You say, throwing the bloddy paper in the trash can.
“It’s always friends with you, isn't it?” Simon groaned before he could register what he had just admitted. “Forget it.”
“What?” You stopped your movements, looking at his face.
“Nothing, forget it.” He said, trying to take the new paper towel from your hand.
“No, I don't want to. What did you say, Simon?” You ask again, putting your hand away from his reach. 
“I like you, okay! There, I said it. You can laugh now or whatever, I don't care.” He grumpily admitted in a whisper, standing up to his full height to drop the tissues on the sink and clean his own nose. An obvious blush flourishing on his face. 
“N-No, I… I don't want to laugh.” You say, standing behind him, looking at the eyes of his reflection. “You… like me?”
“Yeah, no need to take the Mick out of me for it.” He groaned again, his face finally clean of the blood.
“I'm not. I'm not teasing you, I… I like you too, Simon.” You whispered back, but he heard it loud and clear; turning around in a blink.
“What?” He asked, too loud to be hiding in the bathroom causing you to shush at him and make him cover his mouth with his hand. “Sorry… but what? You? You like me? Why?”
“What you mean why?” You ask, chuckling softly, your hand resting over his chest as his hand slides from his mouth, catching yours from pulling away. “I just do…”
You notice his gaze travel from your eyes to your lips and the moment you catch his intentions, you feel your face heat up from embarrassment. Simon looking just as flustered. 
Still, you look up at him puckering your lips slightly and before you can regret it, Simon does the same; pushing his lips forward and closing his eyes tightly before crashing his mouth against yours. 
It's just a second. Maybe even less. But it's enough to have the butterflies in your stomach growing wild, your face more and more red as you realise you just gave your first kiss to your crush. 
Simon feels just the same, like his face is about to explode from how hard he's blushing, like everything was worth it, like getting his nose broken was a good thing… his nose!
“Fuck!” He whispers, clutching his nose when the high from the kiss comes down and he realises he smashed it against your face just now. 
You chuckle at him, handing him more paper when you notice the blood running again. You want to kiss him again, and again, until you lose count. So you wait patiently for him to pull his hands back. 
“Young lady, do you mind explaining what's going on?” Your father's voice makes you jump, taking a step away from Simon. “Simon, what are you doing here?”
“Dad, Simon just-” You try to come up with an excuse before Simon cuts you off.
“Sorry, Sir… I, well. My dad and I had a little… disagreement and I didn't have where to spend the night, I… I'm sorry, I'll leave, I don't want to cause problems.” He quickly says, throwing the blood-stained paper towel on the trash can with the rest. 
“I'm not throwing you to the street, Simon…” Your dad answered, sighting as he pinched the bridge of his nose. Simon wondered for a second why he wouldn't when his own father had no problem doing it. “Just… let's go to sleep, I'll give you a sleeping bag.” 
Simon and you look at each other for a second before turning away embarrassed of getting caught. You are the first to walk out of the bathroom, Simon diligently behind you turning the lights off. 
When you enter your room your dad is setting the sleeping bag on the floor, stealing a pillow from your bed and laying blankets on top. “That's one of my pyjama trousers, sleeping with jeans is not too comfy. Go change.”
He throws the pyjama at him, Simon gives him a quick nod and makes his way back to the bathroom. Once out, your father turns to you as you slip inside of your bed.
“He better not get out of the sack, you hear me, young lady? I'm trusting you two to not make anything stupid, you are too young for those things, am I clear?” He asks, pointing his finger at you.
“Yes, Dad.” You say, dragging the vowel. 
He hums, before walking out, sliding past Simon and telling him to behave too, pointing finger and a scowl on his face. Simon enters the room, the tip of his ears still flushed pink, closing the door behind him and sliding on the sleeping bag. You lean over the edge of the bed, propping your head on your hand as you look at him. “Comfy?”
“Very much, yeah.” He says as he shimmies himself into the blankets. 
You chuckle at him, slightly raising your blanket just to see his reaction. “You don't want to join me?”
He looks at you, utter disgust on his face. “Share a bed with you? What are you planning to do to me?” He asks, covering up to his face with the blankets. Only uncovering his face to say: “whore”
You slap his arm making him laugh, and he grabs your hand with yours. “I'm playing, I'm playing. Let's just go to sleep, I don't want your dad to kick me out.”
“Alright, alright… prude.” You say, teasing him back making him groan as you laugh. 
The next morning, when your mom came to wake you up for school, she didn't say anything about your arm hanging from the bed just to hold Simon's hand.
But this confession, the hand holding, the furtive little pecks here and there, was not enough to fix the abyss pulling apart. Because the argument was not the reason for it, it was something else and you only found out on your graduation night. 
When you were sitting on the curb, having dinner from the first fast food place you both could find; still dressed in your fancy clothes and picking the soda cup off the ground.
“I think I'm gonna go into math” You suddenly said.
“Math?” Simon asked, laughing softly. 
You nodded. “Yeah… that or physics.” You said
“You are such a nerd.” He said laughing, earning a kick to his feet.
“Shut up! Not my fault you can't count.” You laughed back. “And you? What are you picking?”
The smile on his face quickly turned sour, disappearing into a frown, worry growing in the pit of your stomach. “I'm actually enlisting.”
“Enlisting? Like… like in the military?” You asked, looking at him even though he was looking forward.
“Yeah… exactly like that.” He said, nodding, still not looking at you. 
“Why? I thought you hated it, like… Simon, why would you join the military? You don't -” You started to say, food resting on its wrapper on the ground. 
“You said it yourself, I can't even count.” He said, dropping his food too. “At least this way I can be useful… I could actually protect somebody.”
“That's not true, Si. You know I was just playing, you are smart. Don't say that.” You say, trying to catch his gaze.
“I barely passed the exams, and… and I already signed in, anyway.” He admitted, looking at his hand. 
You remained silent for a second, switching to look forward too. “So that's it, no? No point in telling you my mind when you're already in, not that you seemed to care about my opinion.”
“That's not it, don't get it twisted.” He says, trying to grab your hand to make you look at him. “Love…”
“Don't ‘love’ me, Simon!” You say standing up. “When were you even going to tell me? Were you even going to? Or were you planning on just disappearing like nothing?” 
“I was going to tell you, I promise.” He said standing up. “I just didn't want to ruin tonight for you.”
“Well, now is too late!” You exclaim, turning around so he cannot see the tears pooling in your waterline. 
“Love, c’mon…” He whined, walking behind you. “You are thinking too hard, they are not throwing me into the battlefield in a week. I'll train, I'll become a good one, I'll get strong, I'll protect you!”
“You can't protect me if you are dead! And what do you need to protect me from, Simon?! Why are you so obsessed with protecting?!” You say, still not turning as you walk towards your house.
He called your name, making you turn to look at him. His heart clenched in pain at the sight of the tears threatening to fall from your glistering eyes but too stubborn to do so. “You don't… you don't get it.”
You sniffle before talking. “You are right, Simon, I don't! Good luck in the military.”
That was the last thing you said to him, venom dripping from your voice as you did. Before disappearing into your house slamming the door behind you. 
He drifted a week later, without another word being spoken between the two of you. And even though he didn't live a day without thinking of you, he never spoke to you until 18 years later. 
He kept tabs on you, always making sure you were fine, alive and happy. And to benefit his selfish mind, unmarried. 
“We are in the middle of fucking Manchester, Laswell! We cannot simply stay in the open without risking civilians' lives! We need somewhere to hide!” His captain's voice barked into his phone, Laswell's response not loud enough for Simon to hear.
He knows your house is just a couple of blocks away, moving out of your parents' house a couple of years after finishing university. He could visit you, drop by, but it is the middle of the night and he is working… no reason to go to you.
“We are on our own, Laswell can't fly us back until the morning. She said they seem to have lost us, so technically we are not being followed so we are safe, we… Let's find some coffee shop or something.” Price says, putting his phone away. 
Kyle groans beside him. “I'm fuckin’ starving… and peeing myself.” The sergeant complained.
“Just take a wee on the bush, Garrick.” Soap grunted at him, exhausted after the strain of the mission. “I just want to fucking sleep, I'm gonna pass out…”
“Kids! The bunch of you!” Price barks again. The prolonged deployment clearly wearing down all of them. “We cannot just go to a random house, knock a secret code on the door and be let into a warm bed and hot food. So coffee and a chair is all we are getting if we get lucky.”
Except they do. Because even though you haven't heard from him in years, he knows that you will open your door to him. 
“I know someone who will let us sleep in their house.” Simon said, hands resting on his vest. 
“You?” Soap asks, looking at him from the curb he is sitting down on. “Who?”
“A friend.” Simon says after a pause, taking his phone out; looking for your number hidden behind the ‘IT Support’ name of your contact. 
“.... you got other friends?” Soap asks with his eyebrow raised. 
“Shut the fuck up, Johnny.” He grumbles back, his phone dialling. For a moment he expects you to not pick it up, but then he hears your sleepy voice. “Hello?”
“Hey… This is Simon. Riley, Simon Riley.” He says, his fingers pulling at the flap of his trousers pockets. 
Gaz looks at Price, only to be met with the same confused expression. That's not how you talk to a friend.
You take even longer to answer, being just woken up not helping with thinking too quickly. “Simon? ...Si? Where have you- What are you- Why did you- What? Simon, what? I don't-”
“I know, I know, love.” The nickname slipped past his lips like a second nature. “It's a long story, I'm sorry, I know I own you a long, long, very long explanation, listen-”
“Simon, it's 3:00 in the morning, this is…” he can hear you sigh on the phone. “I don't think this is the conversation to have over the phone.”
“That's actually why I called, I'm… I'm back in town for a little, do you… do you think I could sleep at your house tonight? You know I wouldn't ask if I had another choice…” Simon says, biting his glove, unable to bite his nails. 
You sigh again. “You haven't changed, have you? I'll send you my location, it's close to my parents" Simon knows. “Don't take too long, I need to wake up early.”
Before Simon can answer, you have already hung up. He puts his phone away, a smile on his face when it buzzes knowing you sent him your address; and he turns to the expecting men. 
“C’mon, all set.” It’s all Simon says, starting to walk without looking back. 
“Are you going to explain?” It’s Gaz the one who's brave enough to ask. Simon simply looks at him before answering with a deadpan expression on his face. “No.”
Meanwhile, you stay lying on your bed, wondering what to do next. You certainly don't know what to expect next, it's been a lifetime since the last time you saw him.
The scrawny lanky kid that kept talking about protecting you, about becoming strong, about being better… has he been kicked out? Was he simply kicked? Was he injured? Why was he back? 
He doesn't give you much time to contemplate about what can be the reason for his visit before you hear the knocking on your door. You finally kick the covers off, walking to the door yawning; but the sleep gets quickly kicked off your body when you look out the peephole.
Four massive men standing outside of your door, barely able to fit in the steps in front of it. Obvious guns hanging from the straps of their vest, but any of that it’s as terrifying as the skull mask looking right at you as if he could see through the door. 
You can't even see his eyes, only the back voids of shadows; the street lights behind him only hiding his face more. He is the tallest, you can't even see the top of his head, and his shoulders are so wide you doubt he will fit through the door. 
Neither of these men is Simon and suddenly you just want to step back into your bed, away from the danger, call Simon and tell him not to come until these people leave. But the man with the skull mask raises his hand again, and then he knocks on the door; the Jurrasic Park movie theme song sounding loud and clear. 
You hear laughs outside, a gruff voice complaining to shut up, and you open the door, the short chain the only thing keeping it from opening completely. 
The masked man turns to you at the sound, everyone's eyes on you but you can't peel your eyes from him. You hear the alarm bells in your head telling you to close the door, too many stories that start with a dumb decision just like this one. 
But you are not the only one unable to move, Simon's eyes are locked on you. He sees the changes, how you have grown older just like him, but you have just grown breathtakingly beautiful. It has his heart beating on his ears and butterflies turning in his stomach. 
Butterflies? At his grown age? 
But he can't help it, not when your lips look so soft, your hair frames your face like the most perfect frame in a museum, not when your eyes look so… worried? Afraid? You have never looked at him scared before. 
He noticed then how you are almost hugging yourself, using your arms to pull distance and how you frantically look at his face. What are you looking for? What's wrong with the mask? 
He quickly pulls the mask off of his head, realising his mistake and seeing your face relax when you identify the dirty blonde curls stuck to his forehead. 
He is Simon still.
You breathe more easily once he takes it off, not completely relaxed at the image of the still unknown men standing right behind him. But you know him or used to, and he is your Simon. 
“Sorry, it is… part of the uniform.” He says, a tone of voice any of the men have heard him use before. You look at them, clearly not wearing the mask and catching his lie. He ignores the look you send him, a bashful smile on his face. “Can we come in?”
He leans his body forward, quickly stopping when he notices you move the door closer and look at the man behind him. “They are my team, it's okay, I'll explain it later. It's alright, they are Price, Kyle and Johnny.”
Calling it an awkward situation would be an understanding, when the guy at the back with the mohawk waves at you like a child you sigh; closing the door to undo the chain and open it back up to let them in.
If they wanted to murder you the door was not stopping them.
“Please, c'mon in.” You say, a slight tone of annoyance too difficult to miss in your tone, but it still makes Simon's heart jump at the sound of your voice. “You can leave your shoes on the rack, and well… everything else.” 
They do a quick work of their shoes, resting them on the rack leaving a healthy space with yours; the dirt from them remaining away from them. They take off their bags, vests and belts next; their size not shrinking in the slightest.
Simon simply remains massive, his t-shirt stretched out over the wide span of his shoulders, growing looser around his waist, hiding under his trousers that are just as stretch-out over his asscheeks and massive thighs. It’s then, when you are staring at his ass that one of them talks to you, catching your attention. 
“I'm really sorry, but can I please use your bathroom?” Is Gaz the one asking, a tiny silly dance of stepping on one foot and then the other as he awaits your response. 
You nod quickly, pointing to the door of your bathroom. “Yeah, that one. The light switch is outside.” He quickly moves past you, making you smile when you hear him dramatically groan as you hear water splashing.
“Garrick, close the door!” One of the other men says, the one with the funny-looking beard. “Apologies, he is usually better potty trained; but it's been a long deployment.”
You lift a hand waving it slightly, letting him know that it is okay. Simon can see how you look at him from the corner of your eyes, still awaiting the explanation. Until the loud noise of a stomach rumbling with hunger makes everyone whip their head to the man that waved at you before; a hand on his abdomen and a little coy smile on his face. 
“Are you hungry?” You ask as if the sound erupting from him wasn't an obvious sign. 
“It's okay, I'll live, don't worry.” He quickly says, not wanting to abuse anymore of the hospitality. 
You stare at him, unsure, until his stomach screams again and you move to the kitchen, opening the fridge. “Any allergies?”
You get a group “no” as an answer before you make quick work of the cooking. Simon walks in, coming to your side and asking. “Can I help?”
You shake your head. “It's okay, go wash your hands. All of you.” He nods quickly, instructing your orders to the rest as they quickly move back to the bathroom. 
You throw the premade garlic bread on the oven, throwing an obscene amount of pasta noodles into boiling water as you work on the sauce on a pan. You already struggle to measure pasta for yourself, how do you measure for four men built like a brick house?
The oven dings, throwing the bread back onto the plate with your bare hands quickly. You leave the plate on the counter, throwing the noodles on the pan; almost spilling out of it and mixing it quickly. 
You pick two of the plates, turning to leave them on the tiny table in your kitchen; almost sending them flying when you jump, not expecting the four men sitting and waiting at the table surprised with how silently they moved.
“Bloody hell, almost shit my pants.” You mumble as you put the plates in the middle of the table, letting them pick their favourites. You turn twice more to pick the rest of the plates, and once everyone is served you sit down too. “Hope you like it, sorry if it's too poor.”
The one who was the hungriest looks at you like you just insulted his mother before diving in, being fair; after living on MRE for months, a warm plate of food is priceless. 
You smile when they eat happily, making you wonder if you did too little. You let them eat, standing up to go out of the kitchen; but Simon grabs your hand as you walk past him. You turn to look at him, catching how he swallows hardly the half-chewed bite, before asking. “Where’re you going?”
“To get the beds ready.” You say, smiling when he offers his help again, refusing it. He lets you go, his eyes glued to you as you walk.
“So… a friend.” Johnny says, moving his eyebrows up and down. “I think Sisi has a crush…”
Simon turns to him, his usual stoic expression back on his face. “Shut up… We… we used to be together when we were kids, that's all.”
“Wait… So she's your ex?” Gaz asks, looking at the hall where you just disappeared.
“Lower your voice, will you?!” Simon shouts in a whisper. “It was 18 years ago, it doesn't… it doesn't even count.”
“It counts if it has you blushing.” Johnny says with a singing tone.
“I'm not blushing.” Simon grunts, but he rests his head on his hand, trying to discreetly cover his red ear, making both sergeants chuckle. 
The sound of you puffing as you lay down on the sofa has him turning his head, his eyebrows furrowing when he sees you lay a blanket over you. He stands up, walking to you; the three men at the table exchanging a knowing look. 
“Hey, lovie…” Simon says as he leans over the sofa, smiling when he sees you yawning. “Long day?”
You nod at him, rubbing your eyes and looking at him. “And a long night… will two beds be enough for the four of you?”
“Why are you sleeping here, luv? You should be in your bed…” He says, unconsciously moving your hair out of your face. 
“Because none of you would fit in the sofa… besides, it’s easier to clean the sheets than the sofa. No offense but you are all stinky.” You say, digging your pointer finger into the muscle of his ribs making him smile.
“Sorry for invading your house like this.” He says, his hand moving to caress your cheek with his thumb.
“That's okay… my doors will always be open for you, Simon.” You say looking up at him, your hand moving to rest on his arm. “Even when you come back looking unrecognisable.”
“What do you mean unrecognisable? I look exactly the same.” He says, cocking his head with a fake confused look on his face making you chuckle.
“You look like you have eaten the Simon I used to know, have you come back to eat me now?” You ask without thinking before talking. “Wait, no, that came out weird.”
Simon barks a laugh, making you laugh again as he peels your hand from his arms letting it fall; an offended look on his face as he mutters. “Whore.” Earning himself a slap on his arm just like 18 years ago.
Still sitting at the table, the three men smile to themselves. Seeing a new face of their lieutenant, leaning over the woman and almost waving his imaginary tail like a happy pup.
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It's hours later, after they all finished eating and you told them to leave the dishes on the sink and that you would clean it in the morning. 
After you told them where the rooms were, and Johnny jumped at Gaz to share the room with him. 
After they all said goodnight to you and went to sleep.
It's after all that, that you get woken up by the sound of dishes moving on the sink; sitting up to look at Simon in the kitchen looking at you and groaning when he realizes he woke you up.
“I told you to leave them, Simon.” You say, voice hoarse with sleep as you stand up.
“It isn't fair, you already cooked.” He says, turning to keep cleaning them. “Plus, I couldn't sleep.”
“Why?” You say as you walk up to him, sitting on the kitchen table. 
“Price snores like an old car going up a hill, and he is way too close to ignore.” He says making you smile. “And I didn't like you being down here alone, the door’s too close.”
He closes the tap when he is done, grabbing the towel to dry his hands as he turns to you. You sigh at his words, rubbing your eyes. “You really haven't changed, have you?”
He steps closer, standing between your legs and resting his hands on each side of your body. “Can't say I have, no.”
You stare at his face, at some point after you fall asleep he must have washed his face, the black paint that covered his eyes before now gone.
You let your arms rest around his waist, leaning your chin on his chest and looking up at him as his hands rest on your back. “You still need to explain yourself, Simon.”
“I know.” He says, his eyes taking in every spot on your face, the way your hair falls over your shoulder, the way you wet your lips; so he doesn't miss the way the tear rolls down your cheek. His hand quickly moving up to dry it with his thumb. “Hey, hey, what's wrong? Why are you crying, love?”
It's there, engulfed in Simon's embrace that every worry for his wellbeing in the last two decades comes down on you. No matter how hard you tried to lie to yourself, there wasn't a day that you didn't think of him, of what he was doing, if he missed you, if he was still mad at you, if he was fine.
“I thought you died, Simon… I thought you died hating me, because I was an asshole that didn't want to listen to you.” You admit, rubbing your eyes with your hands to hide the tears. “I was afraid of something happening to you and losing you because of it, and I was an asshole that pushed you away, I'm sorry.”
“No, no, no, love.” He says shaking his head, his long-ignored heart cracking at the sight of your tears. He hugs you again, making you bury your face on his chest as he leans his forehead on your crown, his own tears threatening to spill. “I should have told you better, I should have talked to you the day after, or anytime in the last 18 years. Something. I was the asshole, love, I should have done better.”
He feels you shake your head, pushing back to look up at him from under. And god damn if he can't feel his heart beat at the sight of your wet face. “You are not, we… we were kids, it was no one's fault.” You say wiping your face with the back of your hand. “We were kids.”
“We are not kids anymore.” Simon whispers, his hands moving to cup your face as your hand moves back to his waist. You can see on his face that he is waiting, for a sign, a word, a something, to let him know that it is okay to go ahead. 
Is like all those years ago, in your parent's house’s bathroom; when you had your first kiss. But so different at the same time. He is not the young boy with the broken nose, he is the grown man with the bump on his nose from where it never healed. 
And instead of just pushing your lips out, waiting for him to move, you lift your hand, catching the dog tags hanging from his neck with your finger and pulling him down. 
There it is. 
The sign he needed.
So he leans down, your face still between his hands, and softly presses his lips against yours. 
His warm dry lips, dancing along your salty wet ones. Butterflies in his stomach doing twirls and crawling up the walls. Your hand on his waist digging your fingertips pulling him closer, your tongue probing at his lips and Simon groaning against your lips when he finally tastes your mouth. 
It stops being an innocent kiss, not with the way his tongue pushes inside of your mouth, his hands moving down to your hips to pull you closer, his thighs so wide you let one of your legs between his. He groans on the kiss, his fingertips digging into the softness of your body making you groan back at him.
It’s when you move your leg, reaching his groin and causing him to grind his hardening aching dick against your thigh that he pulls back; suddenly unsure of how far you want to take it. “Sorry, I didn't mean to-”
You slap his chest, grabbing the fabric of his t-shirt as you do and pulling him close again. “Don't you run away from me again, Simon.” And with the look of absolute lust and hunger in your face, he can't help it but crash his lips with yours again, your legs circling around his waist and your hand pulling his face to keep him close. 
Every inhibition, every second thought, every doubt, easily kicked out of the equation. Everything getting replaced by the need to feel the other, closer, harder, and nothing else but the other. 
The only thing that can be heard inside of the kitchen is the heavy breathing of both of you and the filthy sound of your tongues dancing. His tongue reaches every corner of your mouth, your hums reaching the back of his throat directly. He pulls back once again, resting his forehead in your as he sucks in a breath. “Are you sure you wan-”
“Fucking hell, Simon. Yes, yes I wanna.” You chuckle looking at him with a beaming smile on your face. 
“Thank goodness for that.” He says stepping back, helping you on your feet and lifting your shirt; groaning at seeing your naked form. He leans down, his lips catching your hard nipple and sucking it in making you hiss as you pet his head. 
His wide tongue moves flat over your ribs making you shudder at the feeling, using your hand to lean into the counter. “How have grown so fucking beautiful, sweetheart? I should have come back so long ago, come back to you, my sweet girl.” He slowly turns you around, moving his lips as he kisses up your back; goosebumps erupting as he moves higher, kissing up your shoulder and behind your ear, kissing your ear and biting your lobule. 
His massive hands rest on your hips as he grinds his own, making you feel his hardness against the flesh of your ass making you whine in anticipation. His hands move, his thumbs getting under the waistband of your shorts and your underwear; pushing them down and letting them pool at your ankles. His lips move lower again, following the line of your column down your back, you sigh at the feeling, leaning forward and letting your body lean on the counter.
After the torturous couple of minutes, Simon takes to come face to face with your cunt, you don't have to worry about the man teasing you or making you wait. Not with how desperate he is to feel your taste melt into his mouth. 
So that's what he does, as soon as his knees touch the ground he's pushing his face forward, burying his face between your folds. He slides his tongue down, pushing your hood back to suck your pearl making you moan as your hips buckle at the hard suck making him chuckle. 
He kisses your skin, all around your folds, in circles that grow smaller and smaller as he gets closer to your needy clit. He kisses it last, a soft kiss just like he kissed your lips just a minute ago before the kiss turns nastier; tongue moving out of his mouth to rub it against it, drool falling from the tip of his tongue, sucking your clit softly making you moan his name as you bite your lip. 
He moves back, licking up the juices that have spilled from your entrance, drinking them up as he moves closer to its source, slipping his tongue right inside making your walls grasp his wet muscle and pushing it deeper. He groans at the feeling, at feeling your tightness around his tongue, at the taste invading his mouth, making his taste buds fall in love with it,  and at the delirious sounds falling from your lips. 
Your hands move back, looking for him and grabbing his hand resting on the side of your hip while his other hand pulls your cheeks apart to bury himself deeper. Moaning loudly and shamelessly at the way his face glides easily against your glossy folds with your arousal. 
The thumb from the hand on your cheek moves closer, slowly sinking into you making your mouth fall open on an O shape. His mouth moves up again on your entrance, thrusting his tongue deep along his finger into you, making you mewl at the slight stretch. 
But the restraint of his hard cock against his zipper has him struggling to focus on how pretty his name sounds when it falls from your lips, unconsciously looking for friction and grinding his boner against the back of your leg.
The hand that is not holding yours moves lower, undoing his belt with it and his button to keep his raging hard-on covered only by his struggling briefs. You look down between your legs, catching the way the angrily red tip of his aching dick pops out of the confines of his underwear when he thrusts forward. 
Your head moves back up as you moan when you feel him switch his thumb with his index and middle finger. It makes you arch your back, slightly moving back to meet the movements of his wrist. The squelching sound of your cunt sucking his fingers in only urging him forward, scissoring his fingers to stretch you further. 
He can taste your arousal dripping down on his welcoming tongue, his fingers impossibly sticky with your juices. He peels his face away, moving back to stand and using his hand on your hip to push you back up, hiding his face on your neck to whisper. “Are you going to let me in, hm? Are you going to open your legs for me just like you open your door, sweet girl? Gonna let me repay you fucking you silly? Are you gonna let me get up to here?” He asks, resting his hand on your lower stomach on the last question and when he pulls his fingers back you can't help but whine, missing the feeling as you part your legs. 
“Please…”
“Please what, darling?” He asks, kissing your neck sloppily as he wraps his hand around his shaft, pulling it off of his underwear and rubbing his leaking tip against your clit. 
“Please… Fuck me, Simon, please.” You whine, looking up at him from over your shoulder when he pulls his head back. 
He hums, satisfied with your response and probing at your soaking entrance with his bulbous tip; rolling his hips to fill you, stretching your walls to accommodate the girth of his member. He kisses your lips once more, not caring about the awkward angle of your neck as he does so, making you moan inside of his mouth as he pushes forward; groaning when he finally bottoms out. “That's a good girl. Taking me in so well… fuck, you fit like a glove, love… chocking my dick so tightly, shit…”
Your hips are pushed against the counter, his strong arms holding your upper body; almost floating with how tight he is holding you to his chest. The roll of his hips is slow, making you feel every vein and crease of his rigid cock as he drags against your walls clamping down on it, only for him to push it back inside making you mewl as you feel it hit deeper than you have ever felt. 
And even though he is lifting you, you can still feel the weight of his body behind you. The strength being held back in the way his muscles tense under his skin, the control of his body with how calculated his movements are and the way he seems to have already lost himself with the way the praises and promises constantly fall from his lips. 
“You have always been so fucking good to me… I always loved you more than anyone else on this bloody planet, love. You always treated me so nice, fuck!” He moans into your neck. “I'm gonna pay you back, sweetheart. For every kind word, for every kiss, for every fucking everything. Fucking hell…” It’s such a raspy moan, that you can feel the vibrations of his chest when the deep voice leaves his mouth. 
He leans forward, letting you rest your body over the counter as his hands move lower, caressing the sides of your body as they come to rest on your hips. He admires your body for a second, before coming down to press his chest against your back again. 
His hips push against yours as tight as he physically can, the light push of his body enough to make you land your feet over his; making Simon fight his inner urge to move his feet only to make you sink lower. 
He moves his hands towards yours, keeping your palm flat against the surface of the counter as he interlocks his fingers with yours. Mouth open kisses on your nape making your brain turn fuzzy as his length keeps hitting again and again the lovely spot that has your knees buckling. 
“Simon, please… harder, please.” You whine, needing him to give you more, to touch you more, to move more, faster, deeper, harder, anything, but more. And when Simon chuckles deeply behind you, making you realise how something switches on him. 
He peels himself back from your back, carefully brushing your hair back into a make-do ponytail; making sure to braid his finger between the locks of your hair. “The Princess wants more, doesn't she?” He whispers against your ear making you bite your lip in anticipation. “Well… anything she wants, I'll get it for her.”
He leans back once again, except this time he doesn't let go of your hair making you arch your back. His hips rolling once more, his painfully hard cock sliding easily between your fold drenched in your arousal; his pace slowly rising making your breathing turn into whiny moans as the tip of his dick keeps pushing the breath out of your lungs with each thrust. 
But your moans are not the only ones in the kitchen, his low moans slowly growing deeper as your cunt sucks his dick in, groaning when he sees the white creamy ring of your arousal form around the base of his shaft, pushing him to keep going. To keep thrusting deep, fast and hard even when he feels like he is going to combust at any moment. 
He only worries when he feels you clench around him, worrying about missing your face of ecstasy as you finally come around his shaft. So he turns you around, not even pulling out and twisting you around making you look at him with wide eyes. 
“I don't want to miss the way you look as you cream my cock, doll. I just know you are going to sing like the prettiest of the birds, love.” His hands move to rest on the back of your head, keeping your eyes locked onto him as his dick keeps drilling into your crying cunt, begging for the release you so badly need. 
It can be heard loud and clear the sound of his skin slapping against yours, a harmony of moans falling from the two of you, but still, there is a whiny tone to your moans that rubs Simon the wrong way. “What is it, love?” He whines back, half-mocking you. “What does my pretty girl needs?”
“Simon!” You moan, making him close his eyes to make sure it was engraved into his memories the sound of his name being moaned by you. “Touch me, please.” 
“How can I say no, hm? When you ask so nicely, sweetheart.” He says as he moves a hand to rub your clit with his thumb, though little circles sending shockwaves up your back. “That's what you wanted? For me to play with your tiny little clit, hm? Such a greedy girl…”
“Fuck, Simon, yes!” You moan loudly when you finally feel your orgasm grow closer. “Please, don't stop, Simon, please… I'm so close, please don't stop.”
And Simon could get shot in the back of the head right now and his body would keep moving, nothing could make him stop right now. Not with the way your thighs are pulling him closer and your cunt is sucking him in.
He feels you try to throw your head back, eyes closing as you open your mouth on a silent cry. Your orgasm hits you like a bucket of warm honey being spilled over you, sticking every fibre of your body and making you hold onto Simon as your strength leaves your body. 
You still manage to keep your thighs wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer and deeper, your mind still buzzing with your climax and little white dots still on the margins of your vision.
Your legs are not the only ones clinging to him, Simon groans, furrowing his eyebrows as he feels every rib of your velvety walls wrap around his length like a vice; making him whine when he finally manages to pull out. His heavy balls pressed flush against your spasming cunt as thick ropes of his sticky white seed spur over the soft skin of your tummy. A puddle of his spend threatening to spill over the sides of your body with your laborious breathing; wrapping his hand around the base of his twitching cock to milk every single droplet left inside.
A groan leaving his throat at the sight of your soft body, all pliant and shattered by the pleasure of the orgasm still flowing through your veins as his essence lays calmly over your soft skin. 
He bends down, collecting the salty substance with his tongue, keeping it inside of his mouth just for the second it takes for his lips to reach yours; spilling it over your tongue. The taste of his seed coating your taste buds makes you moan at the feeling. He pulls back, smiling and hiding his face on your chest as he chuckles realising what just went down.
Then, weighing out the options and to prevent the awkwardness to take over the situation, he moves back; letting you rest on the counter as he picks the rag he used to dry his hands before wiping the remaining of his spend from your stomach. 
“I used that rag to dry my dishes, Simon…” You say looking at him with a raised eyebrow.
“What? Afraid my cum will end up in your mouth?” He chuckles when you slap his hand. He finishes wiping it off and helping you get dressed again, easing you down the counter and walking hand in hand with you towards the sofa. 
He lays down, pulling you on top of him, resting your head on his chest and he throws the blanket back over your body. “You still haven't explained much, you know…”
“I know… I need to order my thoughts beforehand, though… there is just so much I have to tell you… but let's just sleep for now, alright?.” Simon says, petting your head as you yawn while nodding..
“You won't disappear again, will you?” You ask, your eyelids falling close with exhaustion but still awake enough to feel his arms tighten around your body. “No. Not again, love.”
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The next morning is a bit of a blur, Simon gets shaken beside you waking you up too. “Helo is picking us up in 20 minutes, get dressed.” A gruff voice says over you that you associate with Price. 
Simon groans rubbing his eyes as he stands up, letting you lay on the sofa for a bit more before walking towards the entry. You frown when he doesn't walk to the kitchen, realising in that moment that Simon didn't even take his clothes off last night, his face, hands and dick the only skin you saw.
You sit up, watching how he puts his boots on; swiftly putting back on the vest and the belt, his mask hanging from the back pocket of his pants.
The three men are already around, any of them seemed too bothered by catching Simon sleeping with you on the sofa. Simon walks towards you once more, sitting down next to you and holding your hand on his lap. “You have my number now… I'll call you as soon as I touch ground, okay?” He asks, his other hand brushing your hair out of your face. 
You smile at him nodding, and before you know it, the loud noises of a helicopter touching ground come from outside your door. You stand, as Price opens the door, waving at the pilot and turning to you, shaking your hand making you smile at the formalities.
“Thank you for your help, love. I'll make sure you get something sent as a proof of gratitude” He says, with an honest smile on his face. 
“There really is no need.” You answer, moving to let Soap walk.
“I think she would prefer Simon to deliver it to her personally instead, Cap!” Johnny says as he chuckles to himself, Price slapping his arm as he passes.
Gaz chuckles to himself, trying to cover it as a cough as he passes to walk after Soap. “Thank you for the dinner and the bed, lass. Nice to meet you, I'm sure we'll hear from you soon.” 
Simon rolls his eyes at the sergeant, not a droplet of mean feelings in the gesture before he turns to you once you are alone, an apologetic look on his face. “I think we don't have to worry about them hearing us last night.”
“Nah, they probably didn't, don't worry.” He says, the two of you chuckling again. Until you look up to him, your hand resting on his chest. “This is not the last time I will be seeing you, right, Simon?”
“No, love. A week, two tops before I'm coming back to you.” He says, kissing your forehead and resting his over yours. “Will you wait for me?”
“I have waited 18 years and you are asking if I can wait two weeks?” You ask and he nods, completely serious about his words. “I'll wait another 18 years for you, Simon Riley.”
He sighs as if he was afraid of other possible answers.
“You won't have to wait that long.”
“I better not.’
“You won't… I promise.”
“See you in two weeks, Simon.”
“See you, love.’
And with that, his lips kissed you one last time, before rolling his mask over his face and walking to the helicopter. Waving at you before closing the door and disappearing into the sky until the next time you saw him.
Half a life living with him, followed by half a life living without him; and now, after all those years, finally the promise of spending the rest of your life living it with him by your side, like the time apart never happened. 
Like Simon Riley never left your side. 
And with the promise that he would never do it again. 
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This was. the longest single-chapter fic I have written before. So please, if you liked it leave a comment and reblog it 💚💚💚
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