#i just wonder whether anything else is possible. if there is a path to peace where our stomachs will not churn. one not forged in massacre | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wraithwars · 2 months

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remake of my first post using @arisenreborn's wonderful arisen & pawn questionnaire. both characters changed enough that i felt like i had to redo this & will possibly be posting a more detailed character sheet for them in the future. <3

♛ THE ARISEN:

NAME: Valkyrie AGE: 22 RACE: Human PRONOUNS: She/Her/Hers PREFERRED VOCATION: Warfarer FAVORED GIFTS: Anything handcrafted, practical items & books FAMILY: Likely Deceased Parents, Sid (Adoptive Father)

POSITIVE TRAITS: Loyal, Determined, Curious, Willful NEGATIVE TRAITS: Reckless, Impulsive, Nosy LIKES: Exploration, Sunny Days, Learning new things DISLIKES: Uncontrolled Fires, Rich People (the self-serving, greedy kind), Goblins

1. What was their life like before becoming Arisen?

At ten years old, Valkyrie was found hiding in the recently razed village of Great Oak by a traveling merchant named Sid. She doesn't quite recall her life before, flashes of it sometimes reaching her, but whether she was repressing the memories or simply couldn't process them, she finds herself unable to stay fixated in the past. With Sid's help, she soon leaves it behind entirely and begins to forge a new path.

Perhaps it was because people knew of the tragedy that befell Sid before meeting Valkyrie, how goblins had taken the lives of his wife and son, but no one questioned the girl's arrival and welcomed her to the village with open arms. There she was raised by the community. She learned to cook, to hunt, and even to run Sid's shop while he was away. And as she grew older she developed a penchant for magic and even herbology.

By the time she was thirteen, she felt fully acclimated to her new life and even began to refer to Sid as her father. Though she still startled at the sight of flames and suffered from the occasional nightmare, she now felt safe. And for Sid, he made peace with the losses he suffered, knowing they were guiding him every step of the way as he raised this girl.

As she got older, Sid's health began to decline. Apothecaries and doctors were baffled, unable to find a cause or a cure, and as time went on Valkyrie found herself filling more of his roles within the village. By seventeen, she was running his shop full-time by day and at night, taking care of him. Were it not for the community of people helping her, they surely would have lost the shop and fallen into poverty.

At age eighteen, she finds Sid had passed in his sleep.

She shortly after relinquishes ownership of the shop to a trusted friend and leaves the village behind, unable to handle the reminder every nook and cranny held. Instead, she decides to travel like she always dreamed of and learn more of the world, hopefully finding purpose along the way.

Four years later, she finds herself in Melve enveloped in flame and a stillness in her chest.

2. How do they handle being Arisen, and the responsibilities that come with it? A gnawing preemptive guilt follows Valkyrie on her journey, no matter the amount of days that pass by. She's afraid she won't be able to save everyone, that her adventure will be packed with perilous missions and insurmountable obstacles. Despite this, she's still determined to try, unwilling to fail as Arisens before her had.

3. What are their thoughts on Pawns in general? Valkyrie only met a few pawns in her lifetime, but Sid always described them as a helpful people. Even when she loses her memories, she still holds them with the same respect she would anyone else and never treats them as less then. She even becomes a bit overprotective of them after learning how they are sometimes treated by others. Also, the scholar in her is just generally fascinated in their existence and ability to travel to other worlds.

4. What's their relationship like with their main Pawn? Valkyrie is a bit awkward with Nolan at first. She had never been a leader nor felt the inclination to be one, so when she was suddenly forced into the role it felt out of place. There wasn't much confidence in her decisions, and she felt rather guilty that he was stuck by her side.

As her confidence and abilities grow, she sees Nolan as her rock and her perfect counterpart, in fighting style and personality. He keeps her grounded, and she gives him purpose. Soon she finds herself unable and unwilling to be without him.

5. Do they have any interest in being Sovran? What are their opinions on the politics of the world in general? The idea of being Sovran makes Valkyrie throw up in her mouth, but when she sees how shady those in charge are, she's willing to fill the role if it means protecting the people. But she secretly hopes Sven takes up the mantle. Politics had never been her favorite.

6. Who are their love interest(s) and/or closest friends? Ulrika is the first friend Valkyrie had made after leaving her home, and though she no longer holds any memories of her prior to the fell curse, she still finds herself feeling calm in her presence. In the beginning, a lot of her will to move forward was powered by Ulrika's own dedication to protecting the people of Melve and her aid in nursing Valkyrie back to health.

Occasionally, Valkyrie stops by Melve solely to visit Ulrika and they often talk for hours. Ulrika is by far her biggest supporter, and their bond is only strength when she takes up the mantle of Arisen.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

Valkyrie didn't really think of Sven when she first met him, the newfound role of Arisen dominating her thoughts, but after she discovers he's the regentkin she grows rather curious of his intentions. At first she's skeptical, assuming the worst and that Sven was simply there to lay out another trap for her. But as he shows himself to be genuine, she slowly lets down her guard and opens up to the prospect of being allies.

He inadvertently becomes one of her advisors, offering support and any aid he's able to provide without drawing his mother's attention. And sometimes a shoulder to cry on when she feels overwhelmed and not up for the task set before her. On occasion, she also takes the time to tell him tales of her adventures and frequently gifts him little bits and baubles she acquired along the way.

She feels very grateful to consider him a friend.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

Valkyrie would be bit embarrassed to admit that she was enchanted by Srail at first sight. Initially, he had rescued her from a rampaging minotaur that had taken out her entire party. She attempted to flee and right before the strike of the club, she was yanked through a thin crevice between the crags and led to the village to recover. Though he was still posing as a traveling merchant, his untimely rescue had her flustered, something she chalked up to nerves.

The second time she meets him, she knows it isn't just nerves. While she felt like a fool for not seeing through his act, she couldn't help but see him a positive light. For one, he had believed she was the true Arisen with little convincing (the driving force behind his rescue), and then he aided her once again with information on Darragh. His helpful nature only served to amplify her captivation.

Perhaps, it was due to everyone demanding her help, yet for the first time someone had been helping her. And even when Srail later appears in Vernworth requesting her aid with a heist, she doesn't hesitate to agree, eager to repay a debt. After this event, they remain in contact, and she truly values his company.

Although she had good people in her corner, he was one of the few that didn't judge her for thoughts that often wracked her with guilt. Thoughts of abandoning her quest, letting someone else assume the mantle (they both knew she wouldn't let that happen), her developing distaste for always being the one at the rescue. He understood, sympathizing with her plight, and occasionally, he would simply offer comfort.

Valkyrie winds up developing fairly potent feelings for the thief, but fearing what's to come prevents her from taking the first step. She does let the truth slip after rescuing him from the dragon though.

(Has other important friends/bonds such as Brant and Glyndwr but that may have to be a separate post.)

7. What drew them to their preferred vocation? Do they have history with it? Valkyrie was already an eager student, so learning bits and pieces from different vocations simply came natural to her. Jack-of-all-trades, master of none.

8. Do they have any hobbies? Any way of relaxing between all that monster-slaying and traveling? Aside from reading, Valkyrie is an avid lover of music and sometimes will visit the pub simply to listen. She also enjoys writing, often detailing her adventures within journals and even wrote, and continues to write, a comprehensive guide on survival and fighting beasts.

♟︎ THE PAWN:

NAME: Nolan AGE: ???? RACE: Humanoid Pawn PRONOUNS: He/Him/His PREFERRED VOCATION: Fighter FAVORED GIFTS: In love with almost anything gifted to him due to never receiving any, but has a special fondness for baked goods and new armor/clothes INCLINATION: Kindhearted

POSITIVE TRAITS: Alert, Kind, Dedicated, Compassionate NEGATIVE TRAITS: Naive, Socially Awkward (often comes off as intimidating despite being a teddy bear), Self-destructive LIKES: Animals, Sculptures/Statues, Victories in Difficult Battles DISLIKES: The Cold, Sleeping in Beds, Bandits

1. What was their life like prior to being summoned by their Arisen? If he had access to the emotional range he gained after the fact, he'd say his life prior was bleak. Wandering aimlessly until an Arisen had need of him was a given. He would often travel along main roads, engaging in battles he'd happen upon with a near-unusual vigor. But otherwise, he felt positively neutral about his day-to-day.

But then he happened upon bandits. It was so strange to him how, despite it happening so long ago, it came back to haunt him just as he was slowly developing emotions. He remembered being captured and toyed with for amusement, the bandits possessing a clear distaste for pawns. And whenever he would get back up they would strike him down just as hard. If he could have felt anything back then, he thinks he would have felt fear and rage. Both at knowing there was nothing he could do stop them.

2. What is their opinion on the Arisen? How do they view their relationship? Valkyrie was the first to ever to provide him comfort, to speak to him so kindly, and support his ambitions even as they became different from her own. She was the first to drape a blanket over his shoulders, to call out his name in a worried panic and fret over his wounds while tending to them.

So it doesn't take long into their journey for Nolan to find himself entirely devoted to her. And while true in more fate-bound a sense, he feels as if she is his other half. Similar to her, the idea of being separated is not a pleasant one and she often finds herself with an imposing shadow at her heels.

The original intention of their dynamic was meant to be master and their pawn. However, Nolan feels as more of an equal to her and is treated as such. But he still feels a beaming pride at being her chosen.

3. Is there anything about the Arisen they find troublesome? Be it a small quirk or bad habit? (Or are they obviously flawless?) While Valkyrie is smart, she's not much of a planner so as battle-driven as he can be he finds himself in them before he even realizes it. He often chastises her recklessness and frequently finds himself reigning her in before she gets into trouble.

He also notices she doesn't have the best view of herself. Knowing it's something she can only truly fix herself, he still offers daily encouragements and compliments. Even if they leave her flustered.

4. What is their specialization and is there any story behind how they cultivated that skill set? Surprisingly, Nolan takes to learning Elvish rather easily. Outside of Valkyrie, his first non-fate guided friendship was with Glyndwr. The elf is one of the few that can handle his constant barrage of questions and is often met with inquiries in return. He already knew a bit of the language but practices it more intently in order to converse with his friend in their mothertongue.

5. Do they have any thoughts on the politics of the world and their place in it as a Pawn - or how Pawns are treated? Politics generally confuse and hold little interest to him, but as he gains access to a wider arrange of emotions, he does develop certain views on how pawns are treated. He mirrors his Arisen's disgust at the mistreatment in areas such as Bakbattahl and generally finds himself confounded as to where the hatred stemmed from.

He often thinks about that day with the bandits and during the coronation of the false Arisen, and he would not wish that on any pawn, no matter the morality of their master.

6. Does their journey with the Arisen change them in any significant way and how? Nolan was virtually mute before meeting her. He had no reason to speak, so he simply didn't. She helps him find his voice. There's no pressure to do so, but she often gives him little reasons, such as asking his opinion on something or simply engaging in small talk. Soon, he finds himself speaking without needing a reason, and that oddly provides him comfort.

7. Is there a reason they chose their preferred vocation? Nolan is very battle-driven and finds his biggest thrills come from downing imposing foes. And to inflicting as much damage as possible. Though a warrior may be better suited, he likes the ability to protect. (So he protecc and he attacc.) His favorite combination. Also, sliding down hills is easier with a shield.

8. Do they have any hobbies or preferred past-times? Nolan will try every hobby at least once while on his path to self-discovery, but he finds whittling to particularly relaxing and a source of pride for him as his skill increases. He often gifts little whittled creatures to friends he makes along the way. Were they to have the resources, he dreams of making a sculpture. For now though, he's content with smaller projects.

He also finds himself taking in the sights when they stop in major settlements, struck by the beauty of it. Really, he's an artist in a fighter's body. Aside from that, slowly transitioning into the more social one, he enjoys meeting and befriending new people--especially if he had no help from the Arisen in doing so.

#immediately after i did this the first time i started to rewrite val #i have a problem #dragon's dogma #dd2 #dd2 arisen #dragon's dogma oc #forgive me for the oc spam tonight #the brain fog is real and this is only thing that's stood out today lol

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cellody · 2 years

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DWC: Day III

FOREST & MORTALITY @daily-writing-challenge

It had been a few months since Lance last did his flower picking in the deeper forest areas of Eversong Woods and beyond the small gardens decorating Silvermoon’s gate, so that was precisely what he’d set out to do. Little did he know he would also learn a lesson and be coerced into a bittersweet memory that kept him from gathering for weeks thereafter.

None of the native species he came across caught him by surprise but he was not seeking anything unique to add to still life set-ups for painting practice nor encase in resin bookmarks; no, his peaceful wandering was, at least for today, meant only to gather those with scents that he could dry and make into a potpourri mix. It wasn’t until he’d made his round to the beach and began heading back that a particular group of wild calla earlier missed had his humming dwindle to a fade and ambling slow to a halt.

They were local and familiar to him… but not this far from the waterfalls where he was far more used to seeing them. Pollination or the migration of seeds on the wind must have worked hard to carry them out so near the terrestrial change from grass to sand. Charmed by such lucky little blossoms, he knelt before them and, as with all the others, cut a few with his knife-sized dagger from the lower stem. Never did he claim an entire group.

“Oh—no! No, wait!”

It was a good thing he wasn’t mid-cut or that blade might have added another nick to the pad of his thumb with how suddenly his back snapped straight to attention. He’d have assumed the young voice was hollering to someone else but he’d just walked down the path and knew he was the only soul here, so with rising, confused fear, he turned just in time to meet the wide eyes of a young girl he presumed must have been fresh out of grade school.

Their stares mirrored one another’s shock for an awkward two seconds before the situation’s weighty truth was proven to her by the small handful Lance had of those white flowers. A camera about her neck and clutched in her hands trembled once as she then bumbled, “Those were for my mama…” Then, her voice strained, “I planted them.”

Lance was an easy man to make blush but this was the first time in years he could ever recall instead feeling all the blood rush away from his face with the pale, cold realization of what he’d just done. That nervous pause from a moment prior returned for an even longer span of time wherein he forgot to breathe and clutched his free hand over a heart aching so deeply his subconscious feared a rising medical hiccup. “I,” he whispered, “am so… so sorry…”

She proved to be acting as strong as she could muster despite the obvious shine of tears starting to gather in her eyes. “It’s okay…” He did only take a couple from what could otherwise have been an entire bunch, but it was still not what she’d hoped to see when running here after class to take pictures of their newly-opened buds.

“No, it’s not,” he scolded himself, tone equally as tense whilst he tried not to let her own tears wheedle his. The trimmed wild calla were set in the grass so he could mercilessly fidget with the air in front of himself as though unsure whether or not he ought to offer the poor dear a hug. “Please, I… I must do something to make this right! I knew these were growing someplace different yet I stupidly thought nothing more of it—Light, umm…” His fingers continued to scramble about his own torso in the same manner his brain was overworking itself trying to hatch any and all ideas that might mend his sin. “—I could… do a small painting in their likeness, to mask their mortality, or… make a crown of them, or tie them together for you to keep and dry…”

“A crown?” Her words were piqued with a sniffle but of course any little girl would tag such a word with wonder. She did not seem as frantic or as bothered as this sheep-like stranger before her—those missing would grow back—but she wasn’t going to reject the possibility of getting to play princess, either.

A crown. Good, good, he could do this.

“It will take just a moment; the stems are coiled together, like so, and… eventually, they will create a crown for you. O-or a wreathe if you wished to keep and hang it.” The only reason Lance was able to speak with enough fluidity to not expose his lingering horror was because he was now focused upon the task that held the potential means of mending such a gut-heavy feeling.

As he maneuvered the stems through loops and tightened their braids, the yet-unnamed girl sat an arm’s length away from him, trusting enough to watch his process though cautious enough to not be so close to a stranger. It was another two minutes before he felt satisfied enough with the end result to gently hand over a crown of natural means, additional colors and shapes he’d picked on the earlier half of his walk added for both diversity and stability—much to her glee, of course, since it made the piece rainbow.

“It’s so pretty…” Her tears had long gone in lieu of anticipation well-met with something like this. Thankfully, too, because of her age, Lance was able to make use of what he had for a smaller size that settled above her brunette ponytail perfectly.

Lance feigned a smile. “Again, dear, I am sick with apology… I promise to never again take from these. I will even try my damnedest to guard them from afar as best and as often as I can so that no one else picks and no critter uses them as fodder.”

She remained so smitten that she’d forgotten to reply by the time he finally stood and noted another presence briskly walking up the path towards them. Another brunette, too. When they drew closer still, he recognized the girl’s features upon this approaching face, put two and two together, and practically melted on the spot with relief so profound it had all that neglected air rushing back into his lungs. Here, he thought she��d planted the flowers for her mother in memoriam, but… no, her parent was very much so alive.

“I should have known,” she huffed whilst setting a hand atop the child’s head. “I hope Graciel was not a bother to you, sir; she certainly keeps me on my toes, not waiting for me to pick her up… like she has been told.”

Ivory hair swayed with his shaking head. “On the contrary…”

Graciel peered up and back at her mother with a cheesy, interrupting grin. “—Look, mama!” The crown was hoisted skyward with a few bounces to emphasize something new. “He made it for me. See? Your flowers are in it, too.”

Twice did the mother blink. Such generosity and an eye for arranging… “Goodness. And did you say thank you?”

Manners. Well-practiced, Graciel wheeled back around to bestow upon Lance a curtsy as precious as she. “Thank you! I am glad you picked my flowers~”

She may have been—and he may even have given the mother a nice little moment to speak of for the next few hours—but the initial misconception that he’d taken from a makeshift grave’s bouquet harassed him for the rest of his gathering life.

#dwc

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co-mixed · 1 year

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Tropes and Visions

Taking a long look at the nature of fictional villains

Just the other day I asked myself why did I suddenly fall for the vision Toyo Harada planted in the minds of his followers at the beginning of Imperium. It seemed so perfect: peace and prosperity. Pretty much the same world we envision when we hear the word “future”. Neo-futurism, if you may. A world without borders and with mutual respect. It seems so easy and so achievable, at the same time it’s the one thing we repeatedly fail to achieve.

What is evil?

When we were kids, things in fiction were simple. A hero never killed, a villain - did. But any villain had to be obviously almost grotesquely evil. Whether they were guided by their own selfish goals or enjoyed chaos for the sake of chaos. Then we graduated to multi-layered villains. Still, the most favorite ones were driven insane. Sometimes with merely a spark of humanity left deep inside. There’s always a point to either make a villain absolutely inexcusable or keep them redeemable preferably by death. Your Docs. Ocks and Anakins were all allowed to keep their dignity if they exited the story in a body bag.

But today’s villains have to be much more. Otherwise, they’re deemed unbelievably simple (even despite the fact that we see absolute, unforgivable evil done on a regular basis). We want to dig deeper, to be able to understand what drives them. Maybe that’s what second-wave villains have taught us. But maybe it’s something else.

Does it take a villain

The best villains in movies or comics have one thing in common — their good intentions. We often find ourselves siding with them, at least for a short while before they go off on a killing spree. And that’s something they inevitably do.

On the other side, before they do, they get to show you how much better the world could be if they’re just allowed to execute their vision (along with some people but who’s counting). The point is, they are ready to get their hands dirty to achieve their goal.

Let’s take Magneto as the best possible example. His goal was not peace between the mutants and the humans. He wanted to ensure the survival of his kind. He himself survived the holocaust and was prepared to do anything to save fellow mutants from the same fate. Yes, he went back and forth (a lot), he’s been called a terrorist and he didn’t shy away from killing. He never abandoned his views yet only with his help mutants finally got their utopia on Krakoa. And I might not be the biggest fan of this arc, but that doesn’t make it any less prophetic. Xavier’s peaceful methods were never enough. Magneto made their “last attempt” a success.

But that’s just one example, and we’re not here to gush about Magneto. This whole thing was inspired by Harada and it’s his path that I want to review.

Toyo Harada is a more complex example of the same trope. A child of war, a powerful individual, a visionary (all of them are), and a hero to his kind.

His actions may be more brutal than Magneto’s but his goal is closer to home. It’s Xavier's dream with Magneto’s approach. It’s the whole world becoming an ideal and non-secluded version of Krakoa. And maybe the most devastating part is that it’s achievable with or without psiots. To drive the point further, Harada makes a special point of condemning war profiteering. In fact, if you read Imperium, you’re likely to start wondering who and where is making money on wars.

Toyo Harada is trying to help the most disenfranchised and neglected. He isn’t great at it. But he still gets closer to that goal than anyone with peaceful measures.

That may be because Harada is prepared to remove anyone who stands in his way. Sometimes it’s a government, sometimes it’s terrorists, sometimes it’s regular people. To him, there is no difference and that makes his way the wrong way.

Why can’t they just be nice

We call the ones who kill antiheroes. Your Punishers, Wolverines, (possibly) Bloodshots, they get the job done with a body count longer than your phone number. If there is a line and it’s not at killing, then how come antiheroes manage to longe behind it while visionaries inevitably end up crossing it? They rush towards their goal with such ferocity, they step on seemingly irrelevant people that they’re hoping to help.

Antiheroes always have a strong moral code, it’s their shield against crossing the line that even we, readers, don’t always see. Even anti they’re still heroes. If the code isn’t enough, there’s always a failsafe that they’re aware of. Something or someone that can end them. Punisher is just a man, Toyo Harada is just short of omnipotent.

This is a bold statement but if you’re a human or humanoid, tropes strongly suggest that you aren’t capable of handling the weight of enormous power. There is something religious about it that circles back to idolizing another human being. Gods can be flawed but have to be adored. Powerful humans can’t.

This isn’t a writers’ collusion. This is just a trope that gives your villain depth. It makes you feel compassion and it makes you as a reader, mentally define that proverbial no-crossing line.

Does peace mean no change

Here’s the billion-dollar question. Are we supposed to believe that the noblest goals are always a lie? Because this is what’s being repeated in the form of these villains. Krakoa is deeply flawed, Harada’s paradise is thousands of starving people, Killmonger just wants chaos, Namor drowns a nation. The list could go on and somehow it always comes back to this one statement - a most beautiful promise has to be a lie. We are rotating around the same idea that Utopia is always a trick. There is a healthy bit of logic behind this too, and a thick tome of world history to support this bit. There are always going to be rebels and they will always be punished. Are we supposed to protect the status quo? Not really, just look around – it’s no good. But if we challenge it, we have to vow to be squeaky clean and keep in mind our own limits.

All that is impossible for a villain. Even with the best intentions. You might get emotionally involved yet you will have to realize that the status quo is still better than an unpredictable power-hungry madman. Note that “powerful” doesn’t mean “satisfied”.

They all end up power-hungry. Why? Again, history and experience. Great power is required for great achievement. And power corrupts.

Oh, great power, you say…

You guessed it. A powerful person becomes a villain when they stop feeling responsible for their actions. When there’s no one to hold them accountable. This means that all the aforementioned villains had one problem in common — no one to challenge them. That’s when their moral compass went to hell. Yes, all these stories are cautionary tales warning us to not let one person grab and grab and grab power. It does take a villain to build a paradise but it does take a hero to step down. In his fantasy Toyo Harada did just that, he built a paradise and left it as a legacy.

It was easy to fall for this vision. The world we live in is so broken, many of us would deal with the devil to fix it.

The vision was a lie, everyone saw what they yearned to see. And Harada himself didn’t really care about the people. He was a visionary, he cared about his vision.

#long reads #villain #supervillain #superheroes #antiheroes #comics #valiant comics #valiant #toyo harada #livewire #harbinger #magneto #krakoa #fiction #fictional villains #comics thoughts #thoughts #essay

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thearchivistsjournal · 2 years

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Day 5,

Making a habit of writing down something short before I head out in the morning. When you look out to sea from the Village, it’s not just open ocean that you’re looking at. The horizon is dotted with small islands. Small compared to this one anyway. The closest is to the south and east, not quite directly across from us. The side facing the Village is a high cliff, and atop that cliff is a thick forest, much like the one that surrounds the Village itself. And above those trees rises what appears to be the towers and maybe walls of an old castle or fort. I wonder if anyone’s living over there? I imagine the view from one of those towers must be spectacular. Maybe I should try going up there sometime. It’d be nice to get a proper view of the Village from afar.

*******

Taking a break from library work. I swear if there’s any kind of system at all to how the books here are arranged it’s the idiosyncratic sort that only makes sense to the one who came up with it. Doesn’t help that it sounds like Pat and Theo (still haven’t met him, but Pat says he’s a grump) were just reshelving books wherever and going off memory for those particular books afterward. Speaking (writing?) of Pat, when I got in today he gave me the key to the archive, not the whole building - because there isn’t one, just a latch on the inside of the front door – but to the room where all the books are. Said that he was formally ending his term as interim archivist and putting me in charge.

Wait… I’m in charge. I’m not working with anyone else. There’s no reason I need to be beholden to the current “organization” of these books. I can arrange them however I want. I could even label the shelves. Put together a card catalog so I don’t have to memorize everything. I assume that’s how card catalogs work? I know that’s a thing libraries had for organization in wherever I was before this but I’m not sure what they actually are.

*******

Well, I’m spooked now. In my power tripping flurry of reorganizing, I accidentally stayed at the library later than I had been the previous days so it was already getting dark when I left to make my way back to the house. I’m actually a little surprised about how unafraid I was of making the trip through the woods by myself racing the sundown. Then again, I had a lantern crystal and I’d been assured that the wildlife is almost never dangerous on this part of the island, this close to the Village. And besides, this whole place has such an air of peace about it that it’s hard to get too worried about much of anything (which is its own sort of disconcerting now that I put it that way). But then I found the ruined cathedral.

Not too long after I got on the main road it started raining. That hard, tropical, rain that comes down in sheets, comes back up as mist when it hits the ground, and flows in rivulets off the broad leaves of the trees. Between this weather and the impending dark, it’s little wonder that I took a wrong turn off the road. Instead of going out of the woods to traverse the border between forest and farms, this one took me deeper into the jungle.

By the time the freshly muddy path started sloping uphill I’d realized my mistake, but at that point the rain had only increased in intensity and my indecision on whether to turn back or keep going was tipped by the sight of the path going back to cobblestone just a little further ahead. At this point just wanting out of the storm as soon as possible – for it was indeed fast becoming a storm and not another one of the common showers of the past few days – I chose to gamble on the chance of there being a closer shelter here than backtracking all the way back to the main road and then even further to my own home.

And, in a sense, my gamble paid off. At the top of the hill was what could only be called a cathedral, half devoured by vines and roots and moss. But as I made my way through the partially unhinged doors I soon felt a chill entirely unrelated to my sodden state. Still, it was protected from the growing wind and apart from the spots where the roof had long since fallen in it was relatively dry. After taking a moment to wring what water I could from my clothes and hair I picked my lantern back up to take a look around.

Apart from the drop in temperature that I was increasingly sure wasn’t just me being cold and wet, the first thing that struck me was the sheer scale of the space. It wasn’t so obvious from the outside with the overgrowth, but the central nave alone could have easily held any two or three buildings from the Village. The light of my lantern barely reached across from one side aisle to the other, much less to the far end where, if this were indeed a church, I expected to find an altar. Of the ceiling, it may as well have been a black void, which made the intruding columns of rain all the more eerie in the lamplight.

As I made my way down to the far end from the entrance and passed the rotten and overgrown lumps of what may have once been pews it occurred to me that since my arrival I’d not heard a single reference nor seen the smallest sign of organized religion or faith until now. While the Village had a few larger buildings in a basilica style, I’d gotten the impression that they were for civic rather than religious use, and again while larger than their neighbors were but a pale shade of the crumbling majesty I now found myself surrounded by. My curiosity piqued even further, I hastened my step, now practically oblivious to the pounding of the rain high above, caught up as I was in this new wonder.

I quickly found myself not at an altar or pulpit but at the base of a statue of a figure (man or woman I couldn’t quite tell) seated on a pedestal reading from a book whose spine was longer than my own. Moss had settled into the cracks and folds of their robes, accentuating the underlit shadows from my lantern. Wings sprouted from the figure’s shoulders; not a great hawk-like affair one would find on a depiction of an angel, but small malformed (or perhaps newly formed) things barely the length of the reader’s arms. They seemed rough and sharp compared to the rest of the statue, and if they truly were wings they were either plucked or yet to plume, the only suggestion of feathers being a few jagged points along the underside.

It was as I circled this sculpture, taking it in from all sides and catching a glimpse of a further chamber beyond that I noticed the sound of rain had softened from a torrent to a murmur. And with this lessening of the background noise I could now hear the chanting.

It was soft, but undeniably there. And once I became aware of it, the more I focused the more clearly I could make out the words. Not that it helped me understand what was being said, for the tongue was utterly foreign to me. Yet, while definitely present I could not for the life of me pinpoint where it was coming from. It wasn’t moving, it was just there. Ambient. Everywhere and nowhere at once.

While I can remember precious little about myself or the history of where I came from, I can still remember stories. And I knew enough stories of ghosts and horror to know when to take the rain over the unknown. And so I fled, back out the crooked doors and into the now soft, warm rain at the tail end of storm that had run its course. Down the hill, back to the cobblestones of the main road and successfully this time onto the road and path that leads to my home.

I’m pretty much dry now and, I think, calm enough to sleep. Still, I can’t quite get that place out of my head. I’ll need to go back there at some point. Preferably in the daytime and in better weather.

<==Previous Next==>

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because-of-a-friend · 3 years

Text

Enemies to Lovers!Jeonghan

MASTERLIST

One day I will come up with titles for my works lol.

Hi Hannah!!!! Thanks for requesting! I loved doing this one! I went ahead and went with Jeonghan cuz I feel like he fits this trope best! Sorry you had to wait so long, this particular fic got deleted like... three times so it was a struggle lol. I hope it’s what you were looking for!

I hope this is a good one, I’m realizing I get real insecure about my writing anytime I’m not doing a bulletpoint or reaction fic, so I don’t feel great about this time. Also I only started recently putting actual detail into my kiss scenes and idk how I’m doing with those???? Like do they seem ok??? Also I feel like I make it so obvious that I am such a sucker for SVT having cute nicknames for siblings, friends, partners, etc in fics lol. Anyways...

Also, I really said: Jeonghan... but in different types of lighting

Remember I don’t own the gif! Link to OP is right there if you want to go give the creator some love!!!

Word Count: 5.2k

Warnings: Mentions eating, reader is using female pronouns (I will keep things gn unless you request differently), I think that’s it, pls let me know if I missed any

You’re not sure exactly how it happened. It was probably just an instance of getting off on the wrong foot, that led to more awkward interactions, giving both of you the wrong impression of each other. You knew this, you could rationalize it all. You were well aware that all it would take was one “I think we might have the wrong idea of each other” conversation and it would all be over. You could easily fix it all, but…

But his stupid smug face. The sarcastic jokes. The never-ending pranks that were not as funny as he thought they were. His ridiculous arrogance. His overall unapologetic nature towards all of it.

You couldn’t help but hate Yoon Jeonghan.

*****

“I don’t know, Wonnie…” you say uneasily over the phone. In previous years, you’d go over to the dorm without hesitation. You loved spending time with your brother and many of the other boys. But ever since you had officially met and begun interacting with Jeonghan…

“C’mon, [Y/N]! I bought that new game you were talking about! We can play it together on my gaming system!” Wonwoo began to persuade. You knew you’d give in; you always did. Your brother was far too sweet a person and far too comforting a presence to reject. The question was how long did you want to argue with him about going to the dorm.

You sighed, accepting defeat early to save time, “I’ll head over there in a bit.”

Wonwoo gives a small cry of victory, “Ok, I’ll have Gyu make extra ramen.” Wonwoo abruptly hangs up the phone right after, leaving you in silence to groan in regret of your decision.

You immediately straighten yourself out, though, trying to put yourself in a mindset of determination. What were you thinking? Just because you and that asshole didn’t get along meant you couldn’t go see your own twin brother without feeling uncomfortable? Screw that! If he wanted to keep the peace then he was going to have to start watching where he stepped around you.

*****

You knocked loud and clear on the door of their dorm, knowing that with thirteen people living inside, it was usually too noisy for them to hear someone signal their arrival. To your relief, Seungcheol opened the door just moments after you knocked and greeted you with a warm smile followed by a hand sneaking into your hair to ruffle it, “Hey there, kiddo! How’s it hanging?”

“Just fine,” you tilt your head down slightly in his direction as you pass him to enter the dorm. “How are things here?” As soon as you ask, your ears are met with the noise of someone dropping something in the kitchen, followed by Seungkwan crying in alarm.

“Same as always, I supposed,” Seungcheol sighs, but his smile doesn’t fade. “I think Mingyu and Wonwoo are already in the computer room, if you want to go ahead and see them!”

“Ok, thanks Cheol!” you call as you both rush off in different directions, him towards the kitchen and you towards the small room that would provide you solace from the possibility of having to see Yoon Jeonghan.

You were determined not to let things go how they usually did: you with your mouth clamped shut as Jeonghan spoke whatever teasing words he had saved up for you, and the most you can do to fight back is by rolling your eyes and finding any way to get away from him.

This time, you would still avoid contact with him, but if it happened, you’d speak your mind and not care what he thought, since that’s how he treated you.

But there was no sign of him or anyone else as you walked to the computer room. You could hear Mingyu and Wonwoo yelling and cheering at the game long before you opened the door. It was pitch black inside, the piercing light of the screen making you squint your eyes.

The two men inside both turn immediately to check who offended their dark space with the soft, yellow light from the hallway.

“Oh [Y/N], you came!” Mingyu beams up at you. You nod, matching his bright expression.

“How’s the game?” you ask simply, looking up to your brother.

“We like it so far,” Wonwoo’s smile is wide, he always gets excited about new games, whether they’re good or not. He leans over to grab a can of some sort of energy drink before gulping it down. “We left some ramen for you over there on the table. Eat first, then I’ll let you have a turn.”

You roll your eyes, though Wonwoo was only mere minutes older than you, he found those moments to be enough leverage to order you around and act like you should be dependent on his care. There were times when he even referred to himself as “oppa” to you and insisted that you do the same.

Most of the time you let it slide, especially when you weren’t in the mood to argue. However, there were times when you’d pull out the “We’re the same age,” “Even if you’re older, I’m smarter,” or “Don’t boss me around when I’m more mature than you” cards at the drop of a hat.

“Can you at least turn on the LEDs while I eat?” you ask, tip-toeing in the darkness towards the table at the back end of the room. You hear a click before a soft blue glow fills the room, finally giving you a clear view of your path. You pull the bowl of ramen towards you as you sit and resist the urge to comment on how little they left you. The dorm was filled with food anyways, you could find more later if you got hungry again.

Wonwoo and Mingyu begin to eagerly tell you what they like about the game as you eat. You listen happily, feeling safe in the presence of your brother and friend.

Then of course…

“Hey you two, Cheol wanted me to remind you that we have to get up early tomorrow,” you can’t help the sour expression that comes over your face as Jeonghan enters the room to speak to Wonwoo and Mingyu. “Oh, hey there cutie, I didn’t know you were here!” His smirk makes you sick.

“Don’t call me that,” you say bitterly into the nearly empty bowl.

Wonwoo looks nervously between you and his bandmate, well aware of the dislike you have for him. He’s grateful that you’ve always kept it so civil, but still feels bothered by the unrest between you.

Jeonghan lets out a little giggle in response, and Wonwoo feels a tug in the pit of his stomach, he wishes Jeonghan wouldn’t be so hard on you sometimes. He knows his hyung doesn’t mean anything by it, but you…

You feel your heart sink as Jeonghan steps fully into the room, striding to sit across from you at the table. You can only stare in wonder at his audacity as he slides the bowl towards himself and finishes off the ramen in one bite.

“I was eating that,” you try to keep your tone measured, attempting to keep within the balance of standing up for yourself but not starting any drama that would affect the boys.

“Go make more if you’re hungry, then,” Jeonghan says casually, making your anger positively flare.

You don’t even give your brother the chance to mediate, jumping up from your place and leaving the room, wanting to be anywhere but around that prick.

*****

“You’re leaving already?” Mingyu pouts at you.

“Gyu, I’ve been here for hours,” you laugh, stretching out your fingers as they start to prick from pain of slamming into a keyboard for so long. You had returned to the computer room but only after Jeonghan left. Part of you had wished you had done more to confront him; another part was glad you didn’t start a fight and put Wonwoo in an awkward position. “Besides all of you, as well as me have to get up early tomorrow, it’s already late. I need to get back home.”

“You can stay here,” Wonwoo was quick to offer.

You shook your head at him, “Then I’ll just have to get up even earlier, I’ll go back to my place.” Wonwoo nods almost reluctantly, standing to walk you out.

All of you run into Joshua on your way to the front door, he turns out to be the only one smart enough to ask how you got there.

“Oh, I took the bus,” you say slowly, knowing this is about to cause issues.

“Well, the last one would have already stopped running by now,” Mingyu says looking at the time on his phone.

“I’ll give you a ride,” Josh offers immediately.

You bring your hands up to shake them back and forth, “No, no, I can find a way home, you all need to go to bed.”

“[Y/N],” Wonwoo speaks up immediately in that stern voice you hate but also can’t help but listen to, “let Josh take you home. It’s either that or you stay here, I won’t have you walking around alone at night.” Wonwoo waits a moment to gauge your expression. He finally nods affirmatively, before speaking directly to Joshua, “Take her home, please.”

Joshua nods before walking off to grab his keys. You and Wonwoo send Mingyu off to bed. Once you’re alone, your brother pulls you in for a tight hug. “Do you want me to say something to him?” he asks lowly.

You shake your head, “I don’t want to cause any problems with you guys.” You sit in silence for a moment. “Come and stay over with me sometime, I miss our sleepovers.”

Joshua comes back and Wonwoo pulls away, “Thanks, hyung. Please get her home safe.” For the second time that night, your hair gets ruffled before your brother disappears to go off to bed.

The ride home with Joshua is comfortable. He speaks kindly to you and makes you smile.

You begin to wonder how amongst all these angels, there exists a person like Yoon Jeonghan.

*****

Wonwoo used the new game as leverage to guilt you into coming over quite often in the following weeks. You hadn’t realized how much you had limited your time at the dorm until you started going consistently once more. It was nice being able to spend time with the boys again. You hated that Jeonghan had become such an unbearable presence that it affected your relationship with the rest of your friends.

But ever since you had started to stand your ground and talk back, he had finally begun to avoid you. You supposed it was only fun for him when you sat there and took it.

It didn’t stop the two of you from bickering when you saw each other, but now both of you preferred to avoid each other instead of Jeonghan seeking you out to tease you.

The following weeks of visiting were fairly comfortable. Whenever Jeonghan wasn’t around, you got to spend plenty of time with the other boys and your brother. Plus, the new video game was even better than expected.

Jeonghan’s presence slowly became uncomfortable in a different way.

Instead of being smug and overbearing, he became strangely quiet around you. His facial expressions became more serious as he sent genuine glares your way before letting out bitter remarks and going on his way.

It made you even angrier.

Who the hell was he to torture you all this time and then act like a kicked puppy when you finally fought back???

Your anger and his bitterness slowly escalated the tension between you two. Although they were happening less frequently, the arguments between you became more serious and almost hurtful.

Whatever, you told yourself, he could do as he pleased, you wouldn’t let it affect you anymore.

*****

You stared down at your phone screen. Why? Why did it have to be here, while you were at the dorm?

The call was only five minutes. They didn’t even do it in person. Of course, they had warned that because of hard times, there’d be lay-offs soon. But they couldn’t even do it in person? And all you got was a simple “Sorry, come collect your things on Monday”??? You were a hard worker, passionate about the job, more efficient than most of your coworkers and this is how they treated you???

A part of you could’ve guessed, many of the employees your age had gotten in because of nepotism. But you didn’t want to believe that they’d just brush off all your years of hard work just to avoid stepping on the toes of higher-ups who had relative connections hired at the company.

You squatted against the wall of the hallway, still too in shock to move.

So, you simply sat in silence, for what seemed like forever.

“You good?” you had never felt worse than the exact moment his voice reached your ears.

“Go away,” you said sternly, knowing you’d be crying soon.

“Geez, forgive me for asking,” Jeonghan responds before turning to walk away. He stops abruptly after you sniffle. “So, you’re not ok?”

“No offense, Jeonghan,” you say hating the way your voice is shaking, “but you are the last person I want to speak to right now.”

There’s a heavy silence for a long moment. You silently pray that he’ll just leave. “Do you want me to get your brother?” he asks lightly.

You shake your head, “No, I don’t want to ruin the mood. I’m going to go home, just tell him I had a stomach ache.” You push yourself up and begin to walk briskly towards the door.

To your surprise, Jeonghan reaches out to stop you. You stare at his hand wrapped around your arm and wonder if you’ve ever even allowed him to touch you before. “It’s already late, let me give you a ride.”

You pull his hand off of you, “No, thanks.” You grab your coat and start to dig around in your purse to make sure you have all of your belongings.

“[Y/N],” Jeonghan’s voice rings clear in your head despite your brain feeling fuzzy. You don’t want to look at him. Who is this person that’s showing concern and speaking kindly? You don’t like it. It feels fake. It feels like a predator playing with a wounded prey. You’re just waiting for him to laugh or make a remark or do anything to make you feel worse than you already do.

But Jeonghan simply grabs the keys laying on the front table, grabs your arm once more, and leads you out to the car.

*****

The ride is suffocatingly silent. You wished he’d at least turn on some music to cover up the sound of your crying, but you remained in the quiet. You rolled down your window and stuck your head out, letting the warm night air and sound of wind comfort you. Since you were turned away from him completely, you didn’t see Jeonghan glancing over at you throughout the drive.

You couldn’t have left that car faster when you finally pulled up to your apartment.

To your dismay, Jeonghan also gets out, apparently intent on walking you up.

“You don’t have to-” you start but abruptly stop when he gives you a look telling you an emotion you don’t quite understand.

Jeonghan finally speaks when you’re riding the elevator up to your floor, “I don’t really mean it, you know.”

“Mean what?” you say weakly, starting to feel the exhaustion from crying so much.

“When I talk to you like that… I mean when I’m… rude,” he trails off, running a hand through his hair. “Usually it’s just teasing, but obviously I went too far with you. And I didn’t realize it until you started showing how upsetting it was for you. I should’ve known before that, though.”

“You seemed ruder after I started talking back,” you say, confused.

“I was just being petty and defensive. I kept telling myself things like: It’s her fault, isn’t it? She should have made it more clear from the beginning that it was upsetting her. How was I supposed to know? But that was just me being immature, I should’ve just talked to you.”

“Is that an… apology, Yoon Jeonghan?” you ask, letting yourself be a little smug.

For the first time, you get a genuine smile out of him, “Maybe.”

There’s more silence for a second.

“It’s a two-way road, though,” you say finally.

“What do you mean?” he asks.

“I mean, I could have also come and talked to you instead of letting things escalate,” you say. “I played some part in all of this… unpleasantness. You can’t entirely blame yourself.”

Jeonghan smiles again, reaching out to ruffle your hair the way Seungcheol always did. Then he takes a dramatic deep breath and rolls his shoulders, “There! That feels better, doesn’t it? We can finally be friends!”

You roll your eyes in a playful manner, but you feel it too, a weight has been lifted.

*****

Wonwoo showed up at your door in the middle of the night that night. You took one look at his frantic face and groaned, “I told Jeonghan I would tell you myself.”

“You should have told me immediately!” your brother pouts as he passes you to walk into your apartment.

“I didn’t want to worry you so late, especially when all of you were having a good time. I was going to tell you tomorrow,” you close the door behind him. You watch as he turns on the TV and starts picking through your pantry. “Hmmm, yes it seems quite clear that you came here out of concern for me,” you can’t help but use a sarcastic tone.

Wonwoo sends a glare your way as he grabs snacks and settles on the couch. You sit next to him, grabbing your fair share of the food. You try to keep your attention on the show, but the feeling of Wonwoo staring straight at you is distracting.

“I’m fine, you don’t have to worry,” you sigh.

“Really? Because Jeonghan described you as an emotional wreck,” your brother scoffs.

“I was just shocked and upset. I’ll be ok. I have a good resume, I can find a new job,” you insist.

“I keep telling you, you don’t have to work-”

“I don’t care how much you make,” you interrupt. “I’m not going to depend on you. It’ll just make trouble for both of us.”

“Will you at least let me help out if there’s any problems before you find a new job?” Wonwoo kicks at your leg.

“Like I would even tell you if I was having trouble,” you return his kick.

“You just can’t help but be difficult,” your brother complains quietly.

You let the sound of the show take over the room for a few minutes. “I do have good news,” you finally speak up, wanting to give your brother some peace of mind about something. “Me and Jeonghan made up. We figured it out.”

Wonwoo bolts upright with a grin on his face, “Really??? It’s really all good now?”

“100%,” you say, unable to stop yourself from pinching your brother’s cheeks, finding his excited expression cute.

“Let’s celebrate soon then! We can have a big gaming party with all of the boys!” You agree to your brother’s proposal. You feel content in this moment, knowing you’ll wake up in the morning in an uncomfortable position, immediately kick at his legs and tell him to get his stinky feet away from you.

*****

Your time at the dorm increases with the weight of you and Jeonghan’s rivalry being gone. You’re enjoying getting to know him as a friend instead of constantly walking on eggshells around him. Going to visit the boys is once again a happy and comfortable experience.

You hadn’t realized how much Jeonghan had affected you until you two had worked things out. The world felt light again and you could breathe, no longer in constant worry of possibly ruining things between your brother and his bandmates.

You hoped things would remain without complications for a long time.

*****

“Seungkwan, you should come with us!” you begged. “The carnival only comes once a year; you can’t miss it!”

“But it’s so crowded and there are screaming kids everywhere,” Seungkwan complains.

“Oh, whatever,” Soonyoung interjects. “You love it every time we go.”

Seungkwan gives Soonyoung a look that has you laughing through your mouthful of ramen. “Oh, shoot,” you say feeling liquid start to dribble down your chin. “Can I get a napkin?”

“Here’s one,” you hear Jeonghan’s voice as he enters the room. You reach out to grab the napkin as Seungkwan and Soonyoung continue bickering. But instead of handing it to you, Jeonghan extends his hand not holding the napkin towards you. His fingers come to lightly touch your chin and turn you towards him. Jeonghan wipes your face with the napkin himself, taking the time to make sure it’s really all clean. “All better,” he smiles at you, running his thumb across your chin to check its cleanliness one last time.

As Jeonghan walks away, you turn to see if Seungkwan or Soonyoung saw what had happened. They were still arguing, though. The boys showing you physical touch or affection wasn’t really all that uncommon. But for some reason, the way Jeonghan had grabbed your chin just now… Why was your heart beating so hard?

*****

You couldn’t stop yourself from dragging Wonwoo all over the carnival. It was nice to get out in this environment, the lights, the laughter, the food, the games, the rides. You wanted to do everything, but not before you looked at all there was and took in the spectacle.

You could hear all the boys laughing excitedly behind you, you knew they’d want to try everything as well. You shook your head at Seungkwan’s bright expression, you couldn’t wait to play the ‘I told you so’ card later.

The night was a blur. All of you ran from games to rides to snacks and then all over again.

You couldn’t help but stop completely in your tracks as you passed a booth with a giant stuffie of your favorite animal as a prize. Your fascination with the plushie doesn’t go unnoticed.

“You want me to win it for you?” Jeonghan’s voice is suddenly speaking right into your ear. You jump after realizing he was right behind you. You grip your cotton candy a bit tighter and shyly nod. The way Jeonghan grins at you fills you with warmth.

You watch him walk over to the booth. His light hair and pink shirt were illuminated by the soft glow of the surrounding lights. Jeonghan takes his wallet out and hands some bills to the vendor. You step up closer to stand next to him as he plays the game. He laughs as he chats back and forth with the vendor. You watch in awe as Jeonghan clears the game, no problem.

“Anything from the top shelf!” the vendor exclaims happily.

“That one please,” Jeonghan points right at the stuffie you had been staring at.

“It’ll be a wonderful memory for your girlfriend,” the vendor smiles as he hands the prize directly to you.

“Oh, I’m-”

“Of course!” Jeonghan interrupts you almost instantly, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and starting to pull you away from the game. “We’ll cherish it for a long time! Thanks for the game!” The vendor waves kindly as you two walk away. After a moment, Jeonghan pulls his arm off of you, “Sorry, sometimes it’s just easier to agree than explain, you know?” You nod in agreement. “Wait a second,” he stops you by putting his hands on your shoulders and standing in front of you. Before you can ask what’s wrong, his hand comes up towards your face as it had earlier that day. He quickly swipes his thumb across your lips before pulling to back to show you remnants of your cotton candy. “Do you always eat this messily?” he grins and then, to your surprise, puts his thumb in his mouth to clean it off.

You stand there, frozen, unable to really comprehend what just happened as Jeonghan walks away towards the other boys.

“For the second time today?” Soonyoung is suddenly standing next to you.

“So you did see what happened earlier!” you exclaimed, hitting his arm lightly. “It was weird, right?!”

“Can’t tell yet,” Soonyoung replies cocking his head to the side and putting his hands in his pocket. “Sometimes Jeonghan is just sort of naturally flirtatious. But I’m not sure about you. I figured since you two didn’t get along at first, it’d take him awhile to warm up to you at that level. He seemed to get comfortable with you quite quickly.” Soonyoung turns and shrugs at you after his words.

“You’re no help at all,” you say emotionlessly. There’s a pause before both you and Soonyoung slowly look at each other and laugh at your quip.

You decide to brush off your new concerns about Jeonghan and enjoy this night with the boys. The vendor was right, it was a good memory, and you’re sure it’d last you for your whole lifetime.

*****

You hate yourself a bit for it, but you once again seem to be avoiding Jeonghan. He had made you so nervous that day, and the way your heart pounded… You didn’t want to get sucked into having a silly crush on him if he wasn’t actually trying to flirt with you.

No, from now on, interactions with Jeonghan would be friendly but short and appropriate.

You were stupid to think he wouldn’t notice.

It wasn’t long before there came a night when Jeonghan insisted that he be the one to give you a ride home. You couldn’t help the way your nerves spiked at his determination to be the one to take you. You knew he most likely wanted to talk to you about your sudden distance from him.

The ride itself was nice, Jeonghan rolled the windows down for you, remembering that you enjoyed the warm night air of summer. You talked comfortably with one another. Jeonghan was always able to make you smile so easily.

You couldn’t stop yourself from staring at him. He was just wearing a t-shirt and sweats but… His blonde hair being illuminated in the moonlight as he ran his hands through it and his bright smile as he laughed...

He really was beautiful.

Once again, Jeonghan came with you to walk you to your door. And once again, he finally spoke up in the elevator, “You’ve been avoiding me, sweetheart.” Your heart drops to your stomach at the nickname. “Is everything ok? Did I do something to make you mad again?”

You quickly shake your head and pull your hands up to shake them as well, “No! Not at all!”

“You sure?” he insists.

“Yoon Jeonghan, you really don’t think I’d tell you if you did?” you say.

He giggles, “Yeah, that’s true. You’d let me know the moment I messed up, wouldn’t you?” The elevator dings and opens up to your floor. You and Jeonghan step out together. “Is everything else ok, then? You don’t start avoiding people for no reason.”

You nod as casually as possible, “Everything is great.” Your tone isn’t convincing and Jeonghan nudges you. “I guess, I just got… nervous? I mean one moment we were like enemies and then the next we were suddenly really… close, and-”

“I made you uncomfortable?” Jeonghan’s voice is slightly panicked.

“No, you did nothing wrong! It’s all on me, I just got caught up in my emotions and-” you stop abruptly when you realize what you were about to do.

Jeonghan nods quietly as if to say he understands, but what it is he understands, you’re not sure. “Is it ok for us to remain close, or do you want me to back off?”

“I don’t want any more distance between us, but…” you trail off.

“But, what?” he prompts you again.

“I don’t want to get the wrong idea about anything…” you say, finally reaching your door.

Jeonghan watches as you slowly unlock your door and push it open, “You haven’t gotten the wrong idea about anything.” He avoids eye contact when you look up at him.

You’re shocked by his forwardness. But once he voices his thoughts out loud, you once again feel the feeling of a weight being lifted.

Jeonghan gestures for you to step inside, catching your arm once you fully pass him. He pulls you back to him, close enough for him to lean in and leave a quick kiss on your cheek, “Night, babe, I’ll see you later.”

You stand there, completely still, staring at your door that had shut closed in front of you. You can feel heat rise from the tip of your toes all the way up to your ears. You finally let yourself fall into a squatting position, covering your face with your hands, and letting out a squeal.

*****

Jeonghan invites you to meet up outside of the dorm. It’s a cute little coffee shop at a quiet part of the city. You’re already sitting when he walks in. Maybe one day, you won’t be completely caught off guard by his beauty… but today is not that day.

His whole person is bathed in the glow of the early morning light as he approaches you, the softest, most genuine smile gracing his face.

“No, don’t get up,” he says when you try to leave your chair, “I need to go off and order anyways.” Jeonghan leans down to kiss your forehead firmly. “I just wanted to come say hi first,” he whispers, holding your face close to his.

Your first date sets a wonderful precedent to the rest of your relationship. Jeonghan gets your heart racing with flirty comments and sweet touches. But he also makes you feel calm and content, easily keeping a smile on your face. You just feel… good throughout it all.

You insist on walking him back to the dorm, since they had schedules that day.

“So, we’ll be doing this again?” Jeonghan asks hopefully, as you reach the front door.

“Definitely,” you nod enthusiastically up at him, wondering how you had ever managed to despise the man that made you feel so whole and happy.

Jeonghan looks utterly happy and a tiny bit nervous as he stares down at you. His hand reaches up to brush back your hair before settling firmly against your face. Jeonghan looks at you so fondly as he leans in. His lips connect to yours… so softly… so sweetly. You can feel his nose nudge against your face to push it into a preferred position. He pulls back slightly after every little kiss to let out laughter so sweet, it sounds like it should be coming from the mouth of an angel. But he’s never far away for long, reconnecting to you quickly every time. You let him take the lead, allowing his lips to take care of yours, giving them the sweetest kind of attention. He pulls back for a moment longer to nuzzle his nose against yours, an action that has you gripping his shirt to keep him close. His hands keep themselves entertained by running across your face or through your hair.

He’s going back in to kiss you once again when he front door of the dorm opens, leaving you caught in the act. Wonwoo stares at you two for a long moment before making a single comment that causes you and Jeonghan to laugh.

“You know, when I said I wanted you two to have a better relationship, this isn’t exactly what I meant.”

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magicsunwheel · 3 years

Text

Why You're F#cking Amazing

Pick-a-Card

How to play: pick one of the photos below using your intuition. You can close your eyes and meditate for a bit or just take a few grounding breaths while thinking of the topic. Feeling drawn to more than one is fine! You might have messages in more than one pile

Pile 1 (x) Pile 2 (x) Pile 3 (x)

My pile numbers always go from left to right, then down to the text row (if applicable)

Pile 1

Cards: The High Priestess, Five of Swords, Seven of Pentacles, The Moon Rx, Five of Rods, Ace of Pentacles

You are so intuitive! You're either very in touch with your divine feminine or are working your way there right now. Something about you is severe in the most beautiful way. You can take things seriously when they need to and the way you command a room with just your presence is unmatched. Maybe you're also a tarot reader or involved in spirituality/divination in some way. Maybe you really like Pick-a-Cards.

Something beautiful about you is that you never give up on a fight, especially when you know the end is worth it. Your ambition is strong and you will fight for what you love and what you want. You are not weak-willed by any means.

This also makes you so unique! You work so hard and put so much labor into your love even if you know it will take a long time to come to fruition. The times that you feel discouraged by a lack of results are few and far between. If for some reason you do find yourself wistfully hoping for faster results or an easier path, you can easily remind yourself of why you started in the first place.

You might have moments where you think of yourself as sneaky or like you're hiding a part of yourself from others, like your true self would be too much for them. I'm here to tell you that your intensity is exactly what make you such a beautiful person! You thrive in competition and in adversity. It gives you a chance to show off your quick thinking and survival skills. Others look at you with envy of how you can make an opportunity out of seemingly nothing!

If you need help improving your self-love, Spirit says to stop comparing yourself to others! You are amazing and beautiful and unique all on your own! Throwing yourself into the fray to compete against others who are nothing like you will only fim your inner shine. And you really do shine! When I asked for a card about why you are beautiful, nearly half the damn deck flew out!

Sprit loves you and I love you so please take care of yourself and keep making those amazing opportunities to improve your physical surroundings. (I feel like you have a very clean room/home)

Pile 2

Cards: Nine of Rods, the World, King of Cups, Three of Rods, Ace of Rods, Two of Cups

Ahh the Loona pile!

Similar to Pile 1, but much more fiery! You are resilient! Taking time to collect yourself before pushing forward with a renewed sense of energy and purpose is such an amazing and useful trait. You maybe aren't as commanding of a presence but you have such an inner strength that no one can deny.

You got the World for the reason why you're beautiful! Maybe it's related to physically being very beautiful and possibly exotic-looking. You might have very specific features associated with a certain area of the world that stand out where you live. You also have such a wonderful understanding of the world and where it's currently at. Things can seem negative or like hope is lost but you still seek out the beauty and share it with others. You see opportunity where others do not and feel a sense of peace and connectedness with all of humanity. Wow!

Your uniqueness shines in your emotionality and compassion. You might be a natural born leader who makes sure to understand all under your rule. You lead with kindness and, most importantly, by example. You don't have any desire to use you position for ill-gotten gains. Power to you does not corrupt, it solely provides a tool for you to do good in the world and really make a difference in the lives of others, whether it's on a large or small scale. You are probably the kind of person who makes sure to give money to those who need it when you pass a begging mother and her children, or buying a homeless man a bottle of water on a hot day.

Your card for why you think you are not perfect actually came out quite positive. Maybe you don't have a very low self esteem, but I can see a few possible scenarios here. You might be constantly planning in your head, waiting and watching for the next move to take but never actually getting to the action part. Maybe you're planning for your future and have so much planned out that you're excited for, but haven't made the practical plans on how to actually get there. This could make you feel bad about yourself especially on days where you're reminded of others moving ahead in their lives while you're still planning. Visualisation is very important in manifesting your desired reality! If you are moving slower than others around you, remember that it is okay to not be where "everyone else" is. Life is not a race or a competition. Taking your time to get to where you need to be when you need to be there reminds me of the story of the tortoise and the hare. Quick does not necessarily mean better.

You can improve your self-love by creating! Using your creativity and passion to make something! Create art, whether it's physical/digital art, music, writing, inventing, anything that uses those creative muscles of yours. It doesn't have to be good! Just creating something will help burn up that excess energy you have that's trying to rush you somewhere. Self-expression this way can be a wonderful hobby even if you don't consider yourself as a creative person.

Your kindness really shines through. You care so deeply about the people around you and your spiritual team cares just as deeply about you. You are loved and watched over and protected by Spirit. Others around you also see your sparkle and appreciate and admire you, even if they don't show it. Know you are beautiful and amazing and bringing a light into this world that needs to be here.

Pile 3

Cards: Six of Rods, the Hierophant, Four of Rods, Six of Cups, Ten of Swords, the Hermit Rx

Damn, who are y'all!? You've got some mighty power and pull in this world. Maybe you're a public figure or have some kind of platform, like a social media with many followers. You could also be well-recognized within your field of study/work. Whoever you are, people see you and look up to you. They celebrate you and how amazing you are! Spirit loves this about you and you really shine in the spotlight. Your achievements deserve all this pomp and celebration!

You are naturally authoritative. People listen when you speak and take your words to heart. You might also be a religious person or someone who enjoys organization and the comfort of hierarchy. People will willingly follow you wherever you lead them because they trust you with all their hearts. "A merciful ruler" (lol) You hold your position with grace and dignity befitting a king or queen.

You are unique in ways the public recognizes, but we knew that already! You might be someone who likes to entertain and you throw the greatest parties and get-togethers. Maybe you've planned a wedding and everyone had such an amazing time! You know how to relax and have fun when the time for celebrating arrives. You can out down your guard and bit and let loose. Not many people with such responsibility can let go of the reigns like that, but you don't seem to hold on to control too tightly.

Your past might be a source of anxiety for you. Maybe you're worried that what you've done when you were younger will catch up to you and ruin what you've got going on now, but it's important to remember that the past is the past. It cannot be undone or wished away. Taking time to accept what happened and recognizing that you've moved on to bigger and better things is important here. Whatever happened, take time to heal your childhood wounds and forgive past actions.

Ending this cycle will bring much more self-love to your life. Old habits and patterns being out to rest is the way forward. It might be a painful ending and something you don't necessarily look forward to, but it is something that needs to happen to clear out old energy and welcome in everything new. You can't expect to move on if you're still repeating old actions or ways of thinking. It's time to set these things to rest and evolve. Leave behind what no longer serves you.

Your understanding of yourself knows no bounds. You've taken the time to inquisit yourself and learn all of the shadows that lie there. Self-reflection might be a favored pastime for you. Through this knowledge of yourself you are able to see truths that many struggle to see all their lives. Your light can cut through the fog if bullshit and see the true source of something. Use this knowledge of yourself to become the best version of yourself that you can be! I know you're already on your way there and it's amazing to see! Spirit is so proud of you and loves you so much!

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enamouredfae · 3 years

Text

♡ Pick a Card ♡

What you need to know in order to be ready for the love you so longingly seek!

This reading is looking at anything you might need to heal or grow into in order to enter future relationships as your higher self. I am not looking at your future, but simply trying to guide you towards your highest good in the field of love. Many of us have internalized certain perceptions of love that we must unlearn, or have lived through difficult moments which have closed us off or made experiencing love more difficult. If you are in a toxic relationship/situation, please do not take any messages that might seem to tell you to stay in it. With this reading, I will hopefully open you up to some introspection and hopefully growth. You may very well be attracted to multiple piles and that is ok! Read all that attract you and take what resonates. Each pile has three pieces of advice, so mixing and matching is invited!

This reading is for entertainment purposes only.

This is a timeless reading for the collective, therefore it is likely that some messages will not resonate with you. Please only take the messages that do! The messages that do not, are meant for somebody else. Remember that the future is never set in stone and that you possess free will! Love you! ♡

Pile 1

Charm: Knot

1. Yang

Yang tells me that you need to learn to become more proactive in love. You cannot wait around. You must act! You need to manifest your desires into the material world by doing. It's perfectly fine to do the first move, no matter what society deems "acceptable", it is even invited with this card.

23. Peace

Radical acceptance is necessary for inner peace and in this case for a higher love. You must first love yourself fully, light and shadow self, before loving someone else in the way that you both deserve! And you deserve radical acceptance, we are all flawed and intricate people! As long as we are willing to change and grow and put in the work, past mistakes can be atoned for.

38. To be fair

This card tells me that you need to learn to be more balanced in relationships. Are you giving more than the other parties? Are you giving less? We must be fair to both others and ourselves. When someone in the relationship gives more, they may feel underappreciated which can become unmotivating, but they can also overwhelm the other person. You must learn balance.

Pile 2

Charm: Cactus

7. To the sea (reversed)

"When fishermen cannot go to sea, they stay at home and repair their nets." This is a quote from the guidebook that I had to rewrite here because it encapsulates the advice perfectly. You probably long for love like fishermen long for the sea. This card is telling me that the problem isn't coming from you, but the external world. An idea that just popped up in my head is a queer teen living in a homophobic area or with homophobic parents, so it is likely that this could be your situation. If it is, I love you, please take care of yourself, love and better days will come, don't worry! But you must wait a while longer until the external world matches your vibration, perhaps you'll have to move, wait until you're safe to go out to the sea. Until then, go with the flow.

50. No place like home (reversed)

This card seems to work perfectly with the previous one, it reminds us that what is familiar isn't always the best, because it keeps us from growing. If you want change, you can't keep going to the same things/people that haven't worked before, it's counterintuitive. It is natural to go back to what's familiar, but try something new. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Choose unfamiliar.

34. A leg up (reversed)

You are carrying the burden of your world all alone. You probably don't feel safe sharing what you feel, or are very uncomfortable with vulnerability. To be honest with you, right before writing this part of the reading, I started tearing up, you are holding in so much hurt... You need to voice your struggles, being vulnerable is proof of immense strength, believe me! I know it's hard! Start little by little with someone you really trust!

Pile 3

Charm: Star

35. Loyal Heart

Ok if one pile is ready for the beginning of a relationship it's this one. It is the perfect time for you to create loyal commitments. It is possible that you are already in a committed relationship, but at the very least you are surrounded by loyal, devoted people. Don't forget to be devoted and loyal in return!

4. Higher Power (reversed)

This card is inviting you to trust in whatever divine power you believe in, trust that the universe is divinely guiding you and protecting you. I feel like if a certain religion or spiritual path attracts or fascinates you, you should start looking into it, careful with being disrespectful or appropriating it, especially with closed practices, please do your research! But connecting to Source would be beneficial to you in the long run!

25. Round and Round

You are stuck in a cycle that you must break. Do not worry, you shouldn't feel bad, it's all part of the learning process. Remember: you've been through this before, think back on how that made you feel the previous times, are you sure you want to go through that again? Breaking this cycle is a form of self-care, and you need to care for yourself! You are subconsciously punishing yourself by staying in this cycle, try thinking about the root of why you're doing so! It could help you in breaking it!

Pile 4

Charm: "Love"

8. The tribe

You may want to find your tribe, or you have recently found it. You might feel like you finally belong, or are longing for that feeling. Whenever I get this card, I think of the astrology/witchcraft/tarot community here! It may be the same for you! You are welcome here, and hopefully, you feel like you belong! Contributing to any community that you are passionate about, whether online or in real life, will bring you great joy and satisfaction. Your tribe awaits and needs you! It's possible that that's where you'll find love as well!

6. Not for you (reversed)

Let them go. Whoever you first thought of, it's time to stop obsessing over them. "Don't chase after what flees you." I'm sure you realize this is not serving you, but how do you stop? This card is suggesting radical acceptance and surrender, that this is a sign that someone or something much better is waiting for you. I suggest reminding yourself that they aren't perfect and that you have just come to idealize them.

52. Mending (reversed)

You are very likely going through a grieving period right now. There is so much hurt and disappointment. "Heartbreak is a strange healer of souls." It may feel awful now, but trust that when you look back one day, you will see that the hurt you're feeling now, transformed you in a powerful way. This card is inviting you to accept the heartbreak and push through it, situations like this open us up to seeing the world in a new way, to growing. Better days are coming!

Pile 5

Charm: Angel

28. Building blocks (reversed)

Are you acting according to your belief system? Are you following the advice you give others? You must look carefully at your core foundation. It seems to me that you have done a lot of inner growth, but are still stuck in your old ways. Your outer self isn't matching your inner self. Start doing what you preach!

47. Go the distance

I feel like you're someone that wants love right now! For it to come fast and smoothly, like a sprint. You must learn to see love more realistically, as a long-distance race of endurance. You may be the type to immediately run at the sight of a problem. You must learn to be dedicated and work in love, it won't always be the idealized version you keep reading about or watching. Love demands work!

32. Here and Now (reversed)

You live in the past, don't you? So much regret and nostalgia... Or perhaps you live in the future? Daydreams and ambition. There is a need to learn to live in the here and now, you cannot change the past, and the future is infinite. They're both elusive, and unreliable; now is tangible, real, and full of immediate possibilities.

Pile 6

Charm: Mars Symbol

22. Blessed

This beautiful card talks about an unexpected and "unearned" wonderful event, that seems like divine intervention, a gift from the universe. The advice I take from this card is to practice gratitude because you seem to be blessed in the love department. Perhaps you already know who "the one" is for you. If you don't, trust that the universe has someone wonderful for you!

31. Why?

Ask yourself why you feel as you do about/in love? It is time for some introspection. You need to think and identify unhealthy patterns in your love life. Why do you act as you do in a relationship? Identify what in your past has caused this behavior. It won't solve the problem right away, but it's a good first step. Understanding the problem will be validating.

27. Exchanging gifts (reversed)

"Be careful what you pray for because you might just get it." You need to be ready for the energy exchange that will happen if this happens. This card talks about an imbalance between giving and receiving. You must learn that if you receive a lot, you must return a lot, love needs to be balanced. If you give more, you aren't actually in control, the other party could be consciously or unconsciously taking advantage of your generosity!

Pile 7

Charm: Eternally Open Heart Locket

17. The Fates

You must learn to accept that there are things and people you simply cannot control and change. You cannot blame yourself for things beyond your control, nor can you blame others for things they cannot control. Just be wise enough to tell the difference between things one can control and things one cannot!! If you have a tendency to mold people into your ideal, making them lose their essence, you must learn to accept people for who they are. It is not your job to change them: the desire to change must come from them, for them.

15. Message in a bottle

Try asking for specific signs from the universe, or start becoming more aware of them. Synchronicities are all around you, they're the way that the universe confirms that you're on the right path! Listen carefully to those you communicate with, they could be delivering a cledon to you. This card itself is a good sign, a favorable answer to the question occupying your mind.

9. Treasure Island

You might've already, but if you haven't, MANIFEST YOUR LOVE!! You will be greatly rewarded when you embrace the law of attraction and your intuition. Depending on your belief in how manifestation works, try being mindful of free will! If you believe that love spells on specific people are influencing their free will, then it is immoral to manifest a specific person. If you don't believe that that is how manifestation works, do as you will, just be in line with your beliefs! This card is also a great sign, you're on the right path, and have good fortune on your side. Very lucky pile!!

Pile 8

Charm: Boot

2. Yin (reversed)

You must learn to receive, only being the giver isn't good for you. You deserve to receive! Be open to embodying yin and yang equally. "You stop the flow of abundance when you constantly insist upon being the giver." Be the listener, the one that learns, the one that is being led.

33. Chaos and Conflict

You may be afraid of chaos and conflict, but you must remember that they can rid you of what's no longer serving you. Conflict also implies two sides, remember that yours isn't the only one, and conflict can lead to mutual understanding. Learn to put up boundaries, but also to respect those of others. When you finally see the potential of healing that conflict can cause, you'll be ready for mature communication in relationships.

20. Imagine

Remember that you can create what you imagine! Your imagination is powerful in manifesting your desires, but it can't do everything for you! Manifestation is work, when an opportunity arises, act! This card can also be a sign that the person you're manifesting will be entering your life soon. When they appear, don't just wait, and daydream! The imagination part of manifesting is done, now it's time to act.

Pile 9

Charm: Knife

21. Clean it up

It's time to let go and declutter your mind. Think about what is no longer serving you, about the things that only overwhelm you, and make you overthink, they aren't good for you. It might also help you to declutter in general, your house, your closet, your phone, your feed, etc. Make room for the new and the better.

48. Poised (reversed)

Think carefully, are you really ready for love right now? Because this card is telling me that you aren't. It's ok to be a "late bloomer", and it's important to be ready for love, as to not hurt the one you love, and yourself. Being single isn't a sign of "failure", it gives you the time and space to focus on yourself, on your growth, on your healing, on exploring and understanding yourself. Being single can seem like a curse, but it's a blessing, it's what you need right now.

16. All that glitters

Are you being yourself in love? Are they? Don't succumb to the power of superficiality. Either let go of the mask or look beyond theirs! "Imagine that all the glitter is gone. Would you still desire the object or person?" If one falls for the glitter, what will happen on the day they forgets to glue it on?

Thank you for reading! Love you all.♡

You can buy me a coffee if you feel called to do so! This is never necessary, but always appreciated! ♡

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seijorhi · 3 years

Text

A Thousand Words

as promised, a Valentine’s Day fic 💕

Oikawa Tooru x female reader, Iwaizumi Hajime x female reader

TW implied dub/non-con, cheating, minor choking/abuse, nsfw(ish)

You break up with Iwaizumi two weeks before Valentine’s Day, standing in the doorway of the apartment you share with him.

And you hate that it still hurts, still tugs at the wretched, broken strings of your heart to watch that rare, beautiful smile of his fracture like glass, confusion giving way to disbelief and then finally anguish.

Iwa’s never been the best with his words, but it seems that you’ve robbed him of those too as you tell him that your relationship’s over. He just stands there, wide eyed, agonised as you shove your phone – the proof – into his face, a hoarse, strangled whisper of ‘why’ leaves his lips.

It seems that it’s all that he’s capable of.

There’s nothing for him to say anyway. You don’t want his apologies or his excuses. The pictures are evidence enough.

A boys weekend, he’d told you, and you’d trusted him. You loved him. He wasn’t like your ex, Iwa would never deliberately do anything to hurt you.

He knew what fidelity meant to you.

You’d thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with him, but those pictures are enough to show you what a fool’s dream that was. Iwa, naked in bed, wrapped around some other woman.

Sleeping so peacefully, curled up by her side, like he’d done with you a thousand times.

And it doesn’t matter whether he was drunk or not. It doesn’t matter if he knew her or paid for her or found her at some fancy fucking bar downtown. He cheated on you, he broke your heart and he doesn’t get to watch you fall apart in front of him.

You save your tears until the door swings shut, collapsing onto the floor with a heartbroken wail as the man you love walks away.

—

Iwaizumi doesn’t remember much of that night. He’s never been a lightweight, but the drinks they were knocking back would’ve been enough to take out the best of them. And Iwa didn’t have to worry, not when he was out with friends.

God knows they’d gotten him into so much shit when they were younger and stupider, but between the four of them they’ll stop each other from doing anything too damaging. They have careers now (most of them, anyway) and reputations to protect. And Iwa had you.

Out of everything; his career, his reputation, his livelihood, you were the one thing Iwa wouldn’t risk fucking up.

The night itself is a hazy, incomprehensible blur, but he does remember the girl. Not her name or where she came from, but he remembers her. A pretty face with a sultry smile, wearing some short, tight, shimmering dress. He remembers her sitting on Oikawa’s lap, fingers carding through his hair, red lips kissing at his jaw.

And he remembers Oikawa lounging back in his seat, barely paying the poor girl an ounce of attention, even when her hand started to run teasingly up his thigh, those same sinful lips whispering into his ear.

How the girl managed to find her way from Oikawa’s lap to his hotel bedroom is beyond him, but the pictures don’t lie. It’s his arm wrapped around her waist, her skin littered with love bites and fingerprint shaped bruises.

It was her mouth he’d woken up to, trailing a slow, teasing path up along his chest. He’d shoved her aside, snapped and snarled until the pretty thing welled up with tears and all but fled, leaving him to fall back into the sheets full of self loathing and disgust, wondering how he could possibly have fucked up this badly.

And when he threw up later, hurling until there was nothing left in his stomach, he knew it had nothing to do with the alcohol he’d drunk.

Iwa hadn’t known that anybody knew, hadn’t thought that there was proof – not until you were shoving it in his face, your bottom lip trembling as you tried to keep your tears at bay. And what could he say?

It was a mistake?

He was drunk?

Iwa doesn’t make excuses, you deserve more than that. You deserve more than him.

He should’ve fallen to his knees and begged – begged you through tears if he had to – for you to give him a second chance. But the words stuck in his throat, because the look of absolute, utter heartbreak on your face felt like a fist driving into his gut, and he wasn’t sure if he even deserved it.

You break up with him two weeks before Valentine’s Day, entirely unaware of the ring he’s been carrying around in his pocket for almost a month now, and Iwaizumi doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do.

So he does the only thing he can, and calls Oikawa.

—

Moving your things out of the apartment you’d spent the last year and a half sharing with your boyfriend – your ex-boyfriend – takes less time than you think. The life you’d started to build with him, packed up in nice neat little boxes in only a few hours.

And you’re grateful that he’s not there. He’d messaged you to tell you that he wouldn’t be, the only contact you’d had with him since breaking up.

It’s not the pictures on the nightstand, Iwa’s strong arms wrapped around you, a dopey little grin on his face that gets to you – it’s the World’s Best Boyfriend mug he’d bought you as a joke one day, the old hoodie of yours that was actually his, the one you’d worn half to death because it was warm and smelled like him.

It’s hard enough to do this without him hovering over you, but stupidly you’d forgotten that while Iwa had promised not to be there, he wasn’t the only one with a key to your shared apartment.

The lock clicks and the door swings open just as you’re finishing up in the bedroom and for one single, split second, your heart jumps into your throat.

But the brunette that saunters in isn’t the one you’re still in love with, and you’re quick to brush away the tears on your face before he can see.

Before he can mock you for it.

Oikawa, ever the charmer, merely grins when he catches sight of you.

“Did Iwa send you to supervise?” you say in lieu of a proper greeting, the words slightly more bitter than you intend – even for him.

He isn’t bothered by it, his grin widening just a fraction as he turns and settles down on the bed, long legs stretched out, ankles casually crossed over. He looks entirely too comfortable there and it’s an effort not to bristle.

“Well hello to you too,” he says, his voice a teasing lilt. “Are you always this fun in the mornings?”

Your brows draw together in a frown, but just as you open your mouth to snap a retort, his palms come up in a gesture of mock surrender. “No, Iwa did not send me to supervise you. He doesn’t know I’m here, actually.”

“Then why are you here? To gloat?” you spit.

Oikawa’s eyes glitter, amusement tugging at his lips. You love Iwaizumi, and for his sake you’ve spent the past few years tolerating the constant, overbearing presence of his best and oldest friend. Oikawa, on the other hand has never made all that much of an effort to hide the fact that he doesn’t exactly approve of your relationship with his friend.

Oh, he’s never outwardly rude or hurtful. He doesn’t sit there and spew abuse at you, and as far as you know he hasn’t tried to sway Iwa into leaving you since the very early days of your relationship, but Oikawa doesn’t need to be overt to make his feelings clear.

He treats you like a one night stand that hasn’t quite gotten the hint that it’s time to fix your dress and move right along.

You still haven’t forgotten the night you all went out to celebrate your boyfriend’s birthday, how he’d slid into Iwa’s empty seat the moment he’d slipped out to get another round of drinks and spoken so casually, as if it was nothing but a friendly conversation. Small talk.

“You know it won’t last; you and Iwa.”

And you hadn’t said a word, not wanting to be baited into fighting – into ruining Iwa’s night. You hadn’t even scowled at him, just sat there, pretending that he didn’t exist as you waited for your boyfriend to come back to you.

“You’re cute together, I’ll give you that much,” he’d mused, swallowing the last mouthful of his beer. He’d studied you from beneath long lashes for a moment; a sharp, lingering look entirely at odds with the easy, relaxed tone of his voice. “But you two aren’t a good match. You don’t belong with him.”

You never did figure out exactly what you’d done to make him dislike you so much, but you suppose it doesn’t matter now.

Not when he’s finally proven himself to be right.

“Please,” he says with a scoff, rolling those pretty eyes of his, “as if I’d be so immature. I’m just here to make sure you don’t steal the coffee machine – it’s so much better than the one I have at home.”

He spends the next half hour trailing you from room to room, looking entirely too delighted at your misery. It’s almost a relief when you slip into the bathroom just for a moment’s fucking peace, brushing angrily away at the tears that still haven’t left you.

You almost – almost – reach for your phone to message Iwa and tell him to call off his stupid, infuriating friend, except you’d left it lying on the kitchen bench.

—

His head hurts. An incessant pounding, throbbing ache that makes him want to hurl.

Rationally, he’d known that the cure for the monstrous hangover he’d given himself wasn’t going out for a run at five in the morning, but he didn’t know what else to do. It was either that or keep drinking, and considering it was the alcohol that had gotten him into this fucking mess in the first place…

“I need to fix this,” he groans, dropping his head into his hands, letting his fingers roughly run through the tangles of his hair. “I need to fucking fix this.”

He looks like shit, feels like shit, but he can’t bring himself to care, not even as a solid weight drops itself onto the couch beside him.

“You need to give her space, Iwa,” Oikawa comments with a sigh, passing him a glass of water that he gratefully chugs. “Give her time to figure things out. She’s hurting, and you constantly harassing her won’t do you any favours in trying to win her back.”

He wants to see the truth in his friend’s wisdom. He knows he hurt you, he knows he fucked up, but–

You’d already moved your things out.

He’d known that, of course he had, but coming home to see every trace of you just gone was like a gut punch. He was gonna marry you, get down on one fucking knee in front of everybody and– and now you’re gone and he’s crashing in his best friend’s spare bedroom because the thought of going home without you there is too fucking painful for him to bare.

And he only has himself to blame for it.

But you’re his future, the only one he really gives a damn about, and he’s not one to just give up and walk away. Iwa doesn’t care if it takes weeks or months, he doesn’t care if he has to spend the rest of his life making this up to you; he will.

He can’t just let you go.

Oikawa continues to try and talk sense beside him, but he’s barely paying attention, only offering a small grunt of acknowledgement when he feels the brunette’s eyes studying him. He knows that he’s only trying to help, but he can’t honestly remember the last time Oikawa bothered to introduce him to one of the girls hanging off his arm. He knew as well as his friend did that there wasn’t much point – they wouldn’t be sticking around for long. Fuck, he doesn’t think that Oikawa’s ever had a serious relationship in his life, so excuse him if he’s a little hesitant to take his advice as gospel.

And Oikawa doesn’t know you like Iwaizumi does. He doesn’t understand you, doesn’t see what Iwa does when he looks at you. You’re like… sunlight. There’s no other way he can describe it. It’s cheesy and stupidly sappy, he’d rather be shot than admit it out loud, but he’s never met another person so–so… radiant. You burn bright, and Iwaizumi can’t help but be drawn to you – your warmth and your softness and everything about you. You’re beautiful and caring and you’re home and he’s terrified that if he waits too long, somebody else is gonna see that and snatch you up for themselves and he won’t even be able to blame them for it.

He knows he fucked up, knows that you probably (rightfully) hate him, but he has to try.

So he ignores the way that Oikawa huffs and rolls his eyes when he reaches for his phone, opening up your last conversation.

Please, can we talk? I know you don’t want anything to do with me right now but I’m begging you. Just ten minutes?

And his heart pounds against his ribcage so violently that he thinks he might be sick as he waits for it to send. Waits for the little ‘Read’ notification to pop up.

And waits.

Error. Message failed to send.

He tries again, distinctly aware of the Oikawa’s watchful, curious gaze peering over his shoulder.

Error. Message failed to send.

There’s a sinking feeling in his gut and in his panic, he presses the call button, bringing the phone to his ear with a sick feeling in his stomach.

It doesn’t even ring, there’s just three beeps and the line disconnects.

You’ve blocked his number.

—

You second guess yourself with every step, but you don’t stop and you don’t turn around.

The radio silence from your ex had been a little unexpected, but you’d been the one to tell him in no uncertain terms that the two of you were done.

You were the one to make a point of moving out, keeping the few messages you’d exchanged short and to the point. Were you expecting him to fight you on it? Blow up your phone with messages and voicemails begging you to come back? Maybe show up at your door demanding that you hear him out and give him another chance.

Were you maybe just the tiniest bit disappointed that he hadn’t?

It wasn’t remotely fair to expect that of him, you know that, but you couldn’t help the way your heart had leapt into your throat the moment his message had come through after days of nothing.

Can we talk face to face? I need to see you.

Two sentences, that was it. And you’d spent the better part of an hour debating whether or not you should reply.

Because you love him still, despite it all.

The last person you’d given a second chance to had used that chance to walk all over you. He’d broken your heart, your trust, and any semblance of self worth you’d had. Iwaizumi had been the one to build you back up afterwards.

And now he’d done the same thing. Knowing what you’d gone through before, and it gutted you.

The date on the calendar hasn’t slipped your attention. It’s Valentine’s Day, and you’d spent all morning trying to forget that if things were different, you would have spent the day with Iwa. He’d been secretive about his plans, tight lipped for once in his life, and there’d been some part of you that had wondered, hoped even… but instead you’re sitting alone in a hotel room, feeling miserable for yourself.

If you were stronger, maybe, and if today were any other day, you might have ignored the message, the way those two brief sentences made your pathetic heart ache, but–

But… perhaps you had been a little too hasty when you’d broken it off. Iwa hadn’t said a word to defend himself, but you hadn’t really given him the option, had you?

Agreeing to meet with him wasn’t agreeing to brush it all under the rug. It wasn’t a promise of forgiveness, or even really an olive branch. It just meant that you would go to hear him out, that’s all.

Just to hear him out.

Yet your stomach’s twisting into knots as you walk up the familiar steps, your heart beating out an unsteady rhythm. You love him, despite it all.

You love him, but that doesn’t stop your hand from trembling as you raise a fist to knock.

The smiling face that greets you when that door swings open, however, is not the one you’re expecting.

“Hey there, cutie. You’re early.”

Oikawa.

For one single, floundering heartbeat, confusion grips you. Why was he– was Iwaizumi not coming? Had you misunderstood the message, or… or had he changed his mind, backed down at the last second and sent his friend to hammer the final nail into the coffin of your failed relationship.

You didn’t think Iwaizumi would be the type, though. He’d never been cruel, he’d never been cowardly, either.

“I don’t… understand,” you breathe, wide eyes darting around as if you’re expecting your ex to suddenly pop up behind his shoulder and shove him aside with a growl, telling him to butt out of your relationship the way he had countless times before.

Yet Oikawa offers no explanation, that same stupid, infuriating grin widening as he steps back to let you in, and you, somewhat robotically, follow him inside. Your eyes flicker from his back to the apartment around you – it’s exactly how you left it last week, not a single thing out of place.

“Iwa said–” but your voice falls silent as you realise that no, that’s not true.

The door to your bedroom is ajar, soft, flickering light spilling out from the crack, but that’s not what catches your attention. It’s the rose petals on the floor, the dulcet music playing so quietly you’d missed it entirely.

Your brow furrows, breath catching in your throat as you stare at the scene before you, utterly frozen. You don’t register Oikawa stepping closer, nor the dark hunger brewing in his eyes. None of this makes any sense, you don’t understand–

“Iwa’s not coming.” Long, delicate fingers grip your chin, tilting your face and before you can even draw breath his lips are pressing against yours. It only lasts a second, long enough for your lagging brain to register that Oikawa is kissing you, here, in the middle of the apartment you’d shared with his best friend.

Oikawa, who hates you. Who’s cupping your cheek, gazing at you with an expression so eager and wanting, so unnervingly wrong that it makes your heart clench in fear and your blood run cold.

His thumb brushes along the curve of your cheekbone, “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

And then he’s grabbing at your hand, fingers entwining with yours as he tugs you towards the bedroom, and finally the shock wears off enough for reality to kick in.

“What the fu– Oikawa, get the hell off of me!” you snap, trying to wrench yourself free. But he’s stronger than he looks, and his grip merely tightens.

“Tooru,” he calls back, glancing over his shoulder with that impish, wicked little smirk. “I want you to moan it for me tonight. You can do that for me, right cutie?”

You’re not a violent person, you’ve never been the type to lash out with fists and blows, but something inside of you just snaps at his words, and before you can stop yourself, your open palm flies towards his face.

Quick as lightning, Oikawa spins, catching at your wrist and slamming you up against the living room wall. A small burst of pain radiates through your skull from the impact, your breath forced from your lungs in a pathetic squeak as he boxes you in. There’s not a moment for you to catch your breath, though, not with his forearm pressing down on your throat just hard enough so that you can feel it. He’s always been taller than you, but you’d never considered him to be intimidating – not until he’s looming over you, teeth bared in that feral smirk.

“Oh, baby. If you’re not going to play nice, I won’t either.” His fingers tighten on your wrist, squeezing until a choked whimper slips out and he kisses you once more. Not soft or sweet, but bruising, teeth clacking, nipping and biting and harshly sucking at your bottom lip until you return it.

And when he pulls away, there’s blood on his lips – yours – and he licks it away with a satisfied little hum. “I put effort into this, you know,” he says, his tone almost conversational if not for the slight pant, the shivering undercurrent that laces every word. Oikawa leans closer, and you can feel the outline of his cock, hardening already as he presses it against you, rutting his hips ever so slightly. “Set the bedroom up nice and romantic for our first time together.”

He kisses you again, a sweet, tender peck, smiling when you part.

“But if you want me to fuck you here first, up against the wall, all you had to do was say so.”

—

The girl had been easy enough to convince to play along, which probably should have disgusted him.

She looked like you; a cheap imitation, of course, but close enough. Oikawa could kid himself that it was for Iwaizumi’s sake, to sow the seeds of doubt in his head, but he knows as he forces her face down into the pillow, slamming his hips against her ass like a man possessed, that that’s not the whole truth.

But she served her purpose well enough, letting him fuck her, mark up that pristine skin with the same kind he’d seen littered across your neck and collarbones, your thighs–

And she’d still tried to kiss him the moment before slipping out of her robe and climbing into his best friend’s bed. Given him that playful wink, biting her bottom lip seductively as if she were anything but a means to an end for him.

As if he hadn’t forgotten her name the moment he’d gotten those pictures.

Oikawa knows all about your ex and how that asshole treated you, out of all the possible scenarios he could have engineered, this would be the one that’d hurt you the most. He’d thought that you would fly off the handle, kick Iwa out for a few days and leave the door open just wide enough for him to weasel his way in, but you’d gone one step further.

You’d left him.

Broken his heart completely, the way he’d broken yours. Oikawa couldn’t have planned it better himself, and oh what he would have killed to have been there to see it.

And it’s not that he enjoys his best friend’s pain – truly, he wants Iwa to be happy, he does.

Just not with you. Not when you’re his.

It was easy enough to bully Iwa into revealing when you’d be coming over to pick up your things. Easy enough to rile you up to the point you’d run and hide just so he wouldn’t see you shed all those pretty tears.

Leaving your phone unattended. And really, it’s your own fault for choosing such an obvious passcode – how could he possibly resist?

You were none the wiser, his poor, unsuspecting little idiot.

Yet for all your posturing and your badly concealed hurt, he’d known that you’d show up today. You’re a romantic at heart, and you’d let yourself be walked all over again if you thought it meant that somebody loved you, wouldn’t you?

You would’ve said yes when he’d gotten down on one knee, and when he’d come back to you with tears in his eyes, drowning in regret and you saw what a mess Iwaizumi was without you, you would have forgiven him – even if it meant giving him the power to break you all over again.

Oikawa honestly doesn’t know whether he should admire or pity you for it.

It hardly matters now, he supposes. Not when you’re so beautifully wrecked, lying nestled against his bare chest with those tears he adores spilling down your flushed cheeks. Every thump of your heart echoing his.

He wonders if he should send Iwaizumi a picture.

#yandere haikyuu #yandere oikawa tooru x reader #yandere oikawa #yandere oikawa x reader #yandere oikawa tooru #tw dub con #tw non con #tw abuse #tw choking #tw cheating #angst #this one's a doozy

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katsumiiii · 3 years

Text

Drunk In Love

roronoa zoro x fem! poc reader

genre: fluff

warnings: consumption of alcohol

description: the strawhat crew stops on a nearby island for supplies. zoro takes a trip to the local pub only to have some interesting company join him.

It’s safe to say that Roronoa Zoro was lost. While this was not a rather surprising statement, it does get tiring to hear that the swordsman hasn’t picked up on his sense of direction since entering the New World. Again and again, every twist and turn looked similar to him, causing him to wander further and further from his desired destination. That destination of course being a pub.

The male couldn’t go too long without having at least a sip of alcohol, his mouth craving the flavor after a good while. He cursed as he traveled down another unfamiliar path, hands shoved deep into his pockets as he dragged his feet along the dirt ground.

Maybe he should’ve listened when Nami said to take someone with him. Nevermind, he would have had to take that curly browed idiot with him, and he’d rather not argue the whole way to the pub.

Zoro scanned his surrounds once more, seems as though those twists and turns led him back into the town, where the pub was apparently located. He let out a sigh of relief, tired of wondering around the dense forests, especially since all of the trees were so similar looking.

He trotted along, dirt kicking out in front of him as a result. Many different sounds flooded his ears, whether it were children whining for the cherry tarts that were on sale to the left of him — they were supposedly the best in town — or the slight ringing of laughter coming from the restaurants to his right, he reckoned that’s where Luffy was trying to go, the smell of meat too tempting for him to ignore.

About half way through the town square, Zoro encountered the very place he’d been searching for. With a snarky grin on his face he hurriedly pushed open the doors, the smell of booze greeting him ever so kindly. Walking a few feet up from the entrance way, he plopped on to a tall wooden stool, slamming his hands on the oak countertop in order to catch the bartenders attention.

“Lemme get a beer.” He bluntly demanded, obsidian irises staring boringly into the man behind the counters backside, watching as he turned around with a tight lipped smile on his face.

“Sure, coming right up!” The chubby male worked swiftly, and right as Zoro gave a long loud yawn a pint of beer was slammed on to the table, causing him to smile excitedly.

“Thanks.”

“No problem sir! Tell me if you need anything else!” He stated as he hurried off to handle another customer.

Zoro raised the mug to his chapped lips, taking large gulps as he drank the liquid. It left a satisfying burn as it traveled down the pathway of his throat, soon settling in his stomach along with whatever else was down there. He let out a sigh of relief and a belch, which caused quite a few heads to turn towards the noise.

“Oh shit, that’s Roronoa Zoro!”

“What’s he doing here alone?”

“If he’s here then that means Strawhat is most likely near by.”

The whispers grew louder as men and woman alike began to worriedly question the young males motives, discreetly scooting further and further away from him. Zoro huffed closing his only good eye, all he wanted was a peaceful drink at the bar, was that too much to ask for? Guess that’s what he gets for being a pirate.

“You looking for company?” A voice asked, the groan of wood rubbing against wood following soon after, causing Zoro to assume that they pulled out the chair beside him. He grunted, eye still not opening as his left hand gripped the handle of his mug.

“No, go away.” He replied, taking another gulp of his liquor.

“Aww don’t be like that, I promise I’m an interesting gal.”

Zoro opened his eye in annoyance, gaze traveling to your figure. “I said go away you damned wom-” he cut off suddenly, voice caught in the back of his throat as he stared at the sight in front of him.

You were beautiful, your hair was braided into a style he’d never quite seen before, but it was unique and eye catching. Your browned skin all but glowed as there was a window right behind your figure, the sun illuminating your very being. Your nails were thumping against the dull oak countertop in front of you as you softly bit your plump lip, your pearly whites slightly poking out. “You alright there mister?”

His body jolted causing a cough to rile up from the sudden movement. “Oh my god are you okay?” You asked again, this time worriedly. Your voice was damn near angelic, the sound of it bringing heat to his cheeks as he slammed his fist on to his chest to stop his wheezing.

“Y-yeah I’m fine.”

“You sure? Had a bit of a cough there.” Your eyes seemed like they were staring into his very soul as you laid a hand on his chiseled backside, rubbing light circles upon it.

“I’m fine! I can handle a little cough.” He roughly shook your hand off of his back, face becoming more crimson by the minute.

“Hm, I can see that big guy.” You chuckled, gesturing the bartender over. “Hi, may I have some booze please? I’ve been craving some for the longest!”

The male nodded, cheeks turning pink at the slight groan you let out. “Y-yes ma’am, I’ll get right to it!”

“Thank you love!”

“Oi!” Zoro quickly called out, watching as the bar man rolled his eyes before sending him a full smile and a slight nod. “I need more booze.”

“Coming right away sir.” The man grumbled, reaching upwards to retrieve two mugs.

“You seemed to have irritated the man a bit.” You quipped, letting out a small thank you as the very man you mentioned handed you your drink.

“Not my fault he hates his job.” Zoro replied back, muttering out a thank you as well as his drink was set in front of him.

“I don’t think it’s the job he hates.” You smirked, licking your lips of the residue booze.

“Yeah whatever.”

Silence overtook the both of you as you indulged in your liquor, you yourself starting to feel a slight buzz around your fifth mug. “You still drinking?” You questioned, glancing over at the green haired male beside you.

He shot you a quick look, cheeks red from what you assumed was caused from his alcohol intake. “Yeah, surprised you can keep up with me, you damned woman.”

You scoffed, leaning closer to his flushed face, the red of his cheeks increasing with the closing distance. “Oh please, I could out drink your ass in an instant.” You announced cockily, nose scrunching at the smell of alcohol coming from his breath.

He cackled at the sentence, body shaking from complete and utter shock at what he believed to be an incorrect statement, though he guessed he’d have to find out. “Oh really? Is that a challenge?”

“You bet it is moss head.”

“Oh it’s on.”

Drink after drink, you two continued to down as many mugs as you could, the burn intensifying with each gulp. You took a sharp breath as you hastily drank another one, hearing cheers from the spectators, bets circulating on which person would win the battle. After about 56 mugs, Zoro lightly tapped chipped oak countertop, causing you to whoop in victory, screams erupting from the onlookers.

“Ha! Told you I would win!”

Zoro giggled, pushing his body from the wooden stool. “Damn, never thought I’d see the day.”

“I’m surprised my damn self, you can drink your ass off.” You smiled, flipping your intricately braided hair off of your shoulder.

“Well, it was nice drinking with ya.” The male declared as he trotted out of the bar, sending a small wave your way.

“Wait! You can’t just leave!” You rushed after him, hands clammy and mouth dry as you forced your legs to work properly enough to be able to run after the male. Though Zoro did hear your outburst, he decided to continue walking, once again kicking up dust as he wandered about. Your footsteps grew heavier, the affects of the alcohol you drank just now washing over you. You began to walk sluggishly, soon tripping, sending your body tumbling into Zoro’s.

“H-hey! What the hell?!” He firmly grabbed your plush waist, unintentionally pulling you flush against his toned body.

His cheeks heated up once again as his eyes settled along your face, your eyes glazed over, bottom lip slightly red, most likely irritated from the amount of times your teeth have harshly dug into them. “You...you alright?” His fingers traced pathways along your skin, trailing lines and circles as you both continued to stare at one another.

Soon you leaned forward, capturing your lips with his, the taste of alcohol dancing along your tongues. Heat trailed throughout your body, hands settling on top of his as you continued to embrace one another. The kiss was hot and messy, teeth clashing more than once, though neither of you minded, you simply continued to take in every single bit of each other.

You eventually pulled apart, both of you heaving from the intensity of it all. You both stared at each other’s slightly dulled irises, gazing upon the possibilities of this new relationship, or whatever you’d like to call it.

“Y/N”

“Mhm?” Zoro cocked his head sideways, rubble rubbing against the back of his scalp from the movement.

“My name, it’s Y/N.” You repeated, ruffling the males hair to shake off the excess debris.

Zoro hummed in response, cheeks flushing for what seemed to be the thousandth time today. “My names Zoro.”

notes: idk wtf is going awn in this fic lmfao 💀

taglist: @izvana @myhoodacademia @mypimpademia @0risha @blackweebtrash @katsumox @kazuluvr @yuujisbby @manjiiroll @asaincy @namjoonswifeyy @angiebug101 @amethyst09 @sisifromthed @lilsparkyswife @morosis-haze @solar3lunar @lightofcordonia

#roronoa zoro x reader #roronoa zoro x poc reader #roronoa zoro x black reader #zoro x reader #zoro x black reader #zoro x poc reader #one piece x reader #one piece x black reader #one piece x poc reader #op x reader #op x poc reader #op x black reader

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wrenhyperfixates · 3 years

Text

The Raven Haired Rebel

Prologue

Pairing: Loki x reader Series Summary: After invading New York, it was decided that, as a punishment, Loki would work for SHIELD. Yeah, right. After escaping from their custody and stranded on Midgard, the God of Mischief decides to prove he’s the one thing no one ever thought he was: the good guy. Now a vigilante, Loki attempts to make amends for his past wrongdoings while also evading the Avengers, including their newest member. You. Brought in specially for the case, you notice more and more details about the prince’s story don’t add up. When you get the chance to turn him in, will you listen to your employers or your heart that believes Loki’s done nothing wrong? Chapter Summary: In which Loki decides to forge his own path. Chapter Warnings: none :) A/N: Welcome to the start of my new mini series! The idea came from the Send Me a Fic Title ask game. This was a title sent in by @lokistan! Hope you enjoy!

Permanent Tag List: @lucywrites02 @frostedgiant @lunarmoon8 @twhiddlestonsstuff @lokistan @lowkeyorlokificrecs @gaitwae @whatafuckingdumbass @castiels-majestic-wings @kozkaboi @cozy-the-overlord @birdgirl90 @myraiswack @mythicalgarlicknot @what-a-flammable-heart @marvelouslovely @laurenandloki @fallinallinmendes @sophlubbwriting @mooncat163

RHR Tag List: @happygalaxymilkshake @electroma89 @stardust-walker @i-would-kneel-for-loki

Masterlist

Disclaimer: Gif not mine

Loki wondered what his cell on Asgard would look like, for surely he’d be transferred there any day now. For three days now, he’d been held in the belly of a SHIELD base in these ridiculous cuffs. Tony had, at least, sent down that drink Loki had asked for. Whether it was a taunt or a small bit of kindness, Loki honestly wasn’t sure. Either way, he’d downed it in one gulp; Midgardian alcohol never having a strong effect on him. Honestly, he probably should have been concerned if it was poisoned or not. Then again, after everything he’d been through, what did he care?

“Brother,” Loki greeted Thor as he walked into view. “How lovely of you to finally grace me with your presence. Though I take it this is not a leisure visit, hm?”

“You know full well it is not,” the God of Thunder replied with a stern tone.

“And here I was so hoping we could catch up.”

“If you want to talk, then talk, Loki. Explain yourself. What has transpired that you have attacked so many innocent people in this way?”

Loki wanted to laugh at that. Innocent? Who was Thor to talk of innocent with all the unrighteous battles he’d fought, all the blood spilled by his hands? The God of Mischief had done what? Attacked a military base? Made a few people kneel? Corralled a few groups into buildings? Which really was for the own safety so they wouldn’t be in the way of the battles on the streets. But no; conquest was apparently only just when Odin decided to do it. When Thor wanted to follow in his footsteps. But for Loki, there was a whole other set of rules. Of course, no one ever bothered to outline them for the trickster, just let him know he failed to obey them.

Besides, he hadn’t been in his right mind. Rather, he’d been under the mind stone’s influence, under Thanos’s control. He worked his jaw as he tried to figure out whether to say that or not. If he had any sense of self preservation, he probably would have. Yet after living his whole life being told he was weak, he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Whether Asgardian culture, his family, or he himself were to blame for that, he wasn’t sure. Still, best just to stick with his wit.

“Pardon, brother,” Loki finally replied. “If it bothers you that much, I will stop following your example.”

“You dare insinuate I would do such a thing?” Thor rhetorically asked, appalled and shocked now that his honor was called into question. “Truly, brother, your mind is far more twisted than I had imagined. I see now I should not have advocated for you; you are too far gone. And yet, I already have, so your second chance you shall have.”

“How benevolent,” Loki rolled his eyes.

In reality, Loki was actually kind of touched Thor had spoken on his behalf. It was more than he expected from the blonde. Though, he had a feeling he hadn’t been spoken of in the most flattering light. Regardless, Thor opened his cell and, accompanied by a couple agents, led him to the upper floors of of the base.

The light blinded Loki for a minute as he saw sunlight for the first time since he’d been locked up. The glares passing agents gave him did significantly less to burn him, though. He was used to scorn. Of course, he did feel a wave of regret as he realized he’d probably killed some of their colleagues, their friends. Even if he didn’t have control of himself, he’d still done it. Why did he have to be so weak as to let Thanos gain control of his mind, he wondered? Such horrid deeds had never been in his nature before, though it seemed Thor was ready to believe he’d been evil all along.

The brothers were silent the whole way to Fury’s office, even as they waited for the director to come in. From his seat in front of the desk, Loki surveyed the office. Nice enough, he mused, but could use some more color. Maybe some drapes. Loki wondered if he should laugh that that’s what he was thinking. Though, in all honesty, it might be a chuckle of relief, knowing that his thoughts were finally his own again.

When the director did finally walk in, he and Loki just eyed each other for a moment, sizing the other up. Loki was fairly confident he could get out of this room, out of this base, if he really wanted to. But what was even the point? He wasn’t particularly interested in playing a game of cat and mouse, as SHIELD would try desperately to recover him. No, he’d rather take whatever punishment was about to be doled out. At least for now, anyway.

“Well, thank you for having me,” Loki quipped, being the first to break the silence. “I am afraid I have never been much good at small talk, though. How about that weather?”

“Funny,” Fury deadpanned. “Glad you didn’t lose your sense of humor when you killed my men.”

Loki’s smile faltered ever so slightly. It seemed like people were going to keep bringing that up despite that it had not even been his intention to kill anyone. Injure and temporarily dispose of, sure, but not kill. He supposed that having been on the verge of collapse himself, he wasn’t able to be as precise as he usually was.

“That little stunt you pulled should have you locked up for life,” Fury continued before Loki could respond. “However, we are prepared to offer you a deal. You are going to work for SHIELD to make up for your crimes.”

“Ah. I see. So gracious of you. And my other options are?”

“You come with me back to Asgard,” Thor chimed in, “and father can do whatever he wants with you.”

Well, that created three possible paths, really, Loki figured. Be sent to Asgard and locked up there was option one. Then the second was to be sent back and killed. Was it bad he kind of hoped for the latter? Oh, it definitely was. Yet, that’s how he felt. And then he could stay here, play along until the opportunity came to break free. Live his life as he wanted for once.

“Alright,” Loki agreed with a smile that he was sure would be seen as more untrustworthy than anything else. “When do I begin?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A week of tedious lectures later, Loki was out in the field. He’d listened with rapt attention as he’d undergone his brief training. And somehow they deemed him trustworthy enough to send on a mission already. So, here he was in a Quinjet with his fellow agents. Maybe they didn’t entirely trust him. After all, Clint kept eyeing him with something akin to murder in his gaze.

Still, once they touched down, Loki followed the procedures he’d been taught. Thankfully, they hadn’t trusted him with any of the more important jobs, just securing the perimeter. That, of course, was a mistake on their part. As soon as it was time to break apart from the others, Loki created a double of himself. Meanwhile, he causally strutted over to a nearby motorcycle. Ok, he had to admit he didn’t really know how to ride one, but he’d make do.

Loki’s drive was surprisingly smooth as he escaped his would-be employers. The joke was on them for trying to tie him down, he thought. It was actually rather freeing to be racing along the open road, wind in his raven-black hair. Maybe he could find a nice little secluded home somewhere and live the rest of his days out in peace. And then he saw a burning building. Really, he should just keep going. You Midgardians had forces to deal with this. And yet, something made him pull over and rush inside, saving those he found trapped by the flames.

“I can never thank you enough,” a lady blubbered as she clung to her child, who Loki had just saved. “Please, what’s your name? How can I repay you?”

“You can call me, Loki,” he replied with a charming grin. “And really, no thanks necessary. It is just what I do.”

And as he rode off again, Loki decided he was going to make that last statement true. Look out, Midgard, he thought to himself. Looks like you have got yourself a new superhero.

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shurisneakers · 3 years

Text

shut in [11]

Summary: When your high profile mission goes terribly wrong, you’re forced to hide in a safehouse with a man you’ve never met before. With seemingly nowhere else to go, you’re forced to work together to figure out who is trying to have you assassinated before it’s too late. (Sam Wilson x Reader, Hitman AU)

Warnings: cursing, anxiety, ptsd, abuse

Word count: 2.7k

A/N: just to clarify, there are 14 chapters and an epilogue!! also you guys are so nice, thank you for letting me know what you think about this <333</p>

i also appreciate feedback so if you would like to, please consider dropping me an ask or comment ly guys!!

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333

Previous Part || Shut In Masterlist

The wait was taking a toll. It was clawing at you from the inside, and paired with the occasional flare your anxiety gave, everyday was like spending time in an hourglass that was steadily filling up.

Sam helped; making sure the both of you ate after spending hours planning out and revising every detail, introducing you to the world when you spent too long indoors.

The constant rap of your finger against the table and pen tucked behind your ear was the position you found yourself in more often than not. Different scenarios listed themselves on a sheet of paper so you could go through the process of elimination, sorting each loophole out with proper backup.

Going to New York, 3rd floor of 32nd Street, only cash-

“I’m goin’ on a run.” Sam poked his head in from the doorway to the kitchen. “I’ll be back before Ransone calls.”

“What?” you mumble, not paying attention. You scratched out another implausible scenario, leaving you with many more to go. Everything had to be perfect.

“Going out. Be back soon,” he repeated.

It still took a minute to register but you found yourself shaking your head once it did. “No, don’t.”

“Why?” he straightened up, no longer leaning on the wall. “Something wrong?”

“It’s not safe.”

“I checked the cameras. No one’s out there,” he sounded confident but you couldn’t shake the feeling of skepticism around the situation that was beginning to return to you. “I’ll be careful.”

“You could be careful by not going.” You shouldn’t have to explain this to him. “It’s not safe.”

“Nothing’s changed yet-”

“They have.” You whip around to look at him. “Things are different now. We don’t know what’s out there.”

You both know that he had already been seen once. Who knew how many people were waiting forty feet away from the house? Risking his life for a jog was ridiculous.

“I can handle a 20 minute run,” he challenged. “I’m not even going that far.”

“You’re being reckless.” You could see the rebellious streak he had warned you of before making an entrance. Though you found his spontaneity endearing, the rashness that accompanied it you weren’t fond of.

“It’s not a big deal.”

“It is, Sam,” you exclaimed. “We can’t fuck up the plan with you dying.”

He looks at you with his head tilted and annoyance on his face. A wave of tense silence washes over the both of you and only then do you realise it’s the closest thing you've had to an actual argument before.

“Is that really what this is about? The plan?” he questioned, arms crossed over his chest.

You hesitated.

“What else would it be about?” You know he saw it, the brief moment you took before you answered.

“I’m going for a run,” he said decisively. It stung more than it should have. “But I’m not going far. I’ll circle the house.”

That eased it, somewhat. You would prefer if he didn’t at all, but you were at peace with the compromise. A middle ground.

You nodded, looking away from him. He left soon after, but seeing him run past the window every now and then made you feel better.

Your mind replayed what he implied. You knew what he was saying, you weren’t completely dense. But you would never let emotions get in the way of work.

It had never worked out well for you before, not while you were still stuck with the organization. Like always, you could feel the familiar ache build in your chest, faces you prayed to forget flashing in your mind.

You exhaled, forcing yourself to not relive it again. You were thinking an awful lot about it for someone who supposedly didn’t care about it.

Stupid Sam with his stupid cute face and stupid good heart. Fuck him.

____

“Y/N.”

“Ransone.”

You nodded at Sam who was standing beside you with a glass of water in his hand, leaning his body weight on the table.

“Wilson there with you?”

“No, he isn’t.” Lying to him had become a habit by now, even though you were well acquainted with the consequences of doing so. “What’s the update?”

“We think we found them,” Ransone reported.

“Found who?”

“The people who shot at you.”

Your body tensed.

“Who is it?” you asked slowly, peering at Sam through the corner of your eye.

“Serpentine,” he said coolly. Sam scoffed, taking a small walk in circles to calm himself down. “Trying to establish themselves at the top again. Went for one of you but we don’t know which, found both of ya instead. Killed Pierce then waited for you to show up.”

Your eyebrows quirked up. You could see the muscles in Sam’s jaw tighten.

“How’d you find out?” You place your hand on his, urging him to calm down. He visibly softened, closing his eyes and letting out a silent exhale before nodding for you to continue.

“People talk. You know that Y/N,” Ransone sounded bitter.

“Not personally, no,” you mumbled.

“Well, they do.” The way his tone shifted back to normal like the conversation you just shared didn’t happen almost gave you whiplash. “That’s all on our end. What’s happening there?”

“Nothing. No updates.”

“Y’know, I’m surprised you haven’t killed him yet,” Ransone commented. “He tends to get… mouthy.”

“I don’t see him much,” you lied blatantly, ignoring the insult to Sam even though you wanted to retort.

“That’s a good thing. Can’t have you getting attached now, can we?”

You barely looked at Sam, only zeroed in on the fact that his thumb was absentmindedly tracing circles onto your skin while he paid attention to what Ransone was saying.

“I’m not.”

“I’m sure you’re getting sick of him,” Ransone chided, pushing this conversation far longer than you wanted him to. “After this I’ll make sure you never have to see him again, don’t worry.”

“Why?” Your eyebrows knitted together. You wondered if you responded too quickly.

“I’ll have him stationed somewhere else. Away from you at all times. Won’t have to interact with him again.” He was doing it again. Ruining any fucking form of a relationship you could have. “You can thank me later.”

“That won’t be necessary,” you bit back. He knew what he was doing. He was drawing it out of you.

“Well I thought you’d be more grateful consideri- oh,” he stopped abruptly. “Unless you’re already attached to him.”

You pulled your hand away from Sam who only looked concerned about where this conversation was heading. The sudden chill that took its place didn’t make you feel any better.

“Oh, Buttercup,” he laughed pitifully. “You know it would never work. Don’t you remember all the others?”

You didn’t say anything. Only folded your arms together and forced yourself not to go down the path he was trying to drag you to. If you hung up now he’d only take it as a confirmation.

“You two shouldn’t have been friends in the first place. Your lives would have never intersected if this didn’t go wrong.” You hated how he was pointing out things you had overanalyzed time and time again.

You hesitated for a second, forgetting the fact that you knew he was preying on you on purpose.

Because these were thought you’d already had. Thoughts of whether you were growing on him only because you were stuck together. Of course if he was forced to co-inhabit a safehouse for this long with anyone he’d like them.

And as much as you despised to even think it, Ransone was right. How would it even work once you got out?

It couldn’t.

And you wouldn’t let yourself even consider the possibility that it might because it was just wishful thinking at best. The line between friendship and something more were merging together so fast, you weren’t even sure they existed anymore.

“He doesn’t care about you, Y/N. I’m sure he’s charmed his way into making you think you’re important to him, but you’re not,” he sounded sympathetic, almost like he was patronizing you. “You’re just his way out of there, honey.”

Sam opened his mouth, ready to launch into a tirade. You held up a finger to silence him, praying that he wouldn’t do something stupid. You couldn’t lose the only communication you had with Ransone over this.

“I wish it didn’t have to be this way-” What a truckload of horseshit.

“I’ll send you my location,” you broke in, words faltering. “Just have someone come get me.”

“If that’s what you want.” You could tell that he was barely hiding the joy he had gotten out of completely fucking with you.

“Don’t look for me directly. I’ll come to you. Just have someone ready to bring me back.” You couldn’t bring yourself to look at Sam. You had too much going through your head at the moment, things that had specifically to do with him.

“Are you sure? Someone can be at your doorstep within an hour, you know that.”

“I need time to sort some things out. I’ll tell you when I’m ready.”

“As you wish.” You wanted to smack him.

“Bye,” you say shortly, trying to wrap it up.

“Y/N,” he cut in before you could end the conversation. You wait for him to continue, not saying a word. “I’m sorry you had to hear it from me. I just didn’t want you to get hurt.”

You roll your eyes and hang up, not letting him get another word in. The minute you got a second to breathe, everything he said began crawling its way back into your head.

“What the hell was that?” Sam fumed.

“I don’t know.” It was the truth.

“That wasn’t a part of the plan.” You want to tell him to calm down because you had never seen him this infuriated before.

“I don’t know,” you repeated, feeling more drained by the second. You fucked up by talking to him for so long, you knew it.

“That sick, abusive piece of shit,” he continued furiously, but you only looked down, tuning out his droning.

It was fucking humiliating to think that you could have a normal life. It just wasn’t possible. You were in too deep. Staying here with Sam only confused you, made you long for things that weren’t attainable.

“He’s right,” you utter quietly, effectively shutting him up.

He stared at you incredulously. “What?”

“He’s right.” You pushed yourself away from where you’re leaning on the table.

“About what?”

“You know what, Sam.”

“No, I don’t,” he retorted, “He said a lot of shit so I’m going to need you to specify.”

“I’m going to take a nap.” Your head was spinning; you didn't know how to tell him. “I’ll talk to you later.”

“Don’t run away from this conversation,” he sounded annoyed, rightfully so. “Tell me what he’s right about so we can talk this out.”

“About this,” you relented, spinning around to look at him. “Us.”

“He was just trying to get into your head, Y/N, like he always does,” Sam exclaimed, letting his arms fall beside him.

“This could never work, Sam. We’re friends because we see each other every single day, constantly.” You gestured back and forth between the both of you. “What happens once we get out? When you’re not stuck with me twenty-four-seven?”

He knew what happens to people when they get too close within the organization; he had first hand experience with Riley. They never survived long enough to tell the story themselves. They were ripped away from you, time and time again. It was so tiring to start all over from the beginning, every single time and for nothing.

You didn’t want it to happen again, not to him. You just wished he’d believe the other anxieties you deemed less important than this, and dropped the topic. Another death is not something you’d be able to handle.

“We deserve a bit more credit than that, I think,” he said defensively, taking a step toward you. “If our relationship was built solely on proximity then it wouldn’t affect you this much. We’re beyond that.”

“Well, what if we’re not? What if we realise we only tolerated each other because we didn’t have a choice?” you fired back, crossing your arms.

“Speak for yourself,” he huffed. “I would never let that dictate my choice.”

He sounded so confident, so assured that it wasn’t circumstantial. How could he be so sure?

“I don’t get you,” you whispered. “I can’t figure you out.”

“What don’t you get?” He looked like he was on the verge of pleading. He stopped right in front of you, a temporary barricade between you and the hallway.

“Why you treat me the way you do.”

He looks taken aback for a second. “Did I do something wrong? Did I upset you in any-”

“No,” you interrupt him, realising that it didn't sound the way you wanted it to. “Why you’re so… good. To me.”

He doesn’t say anything in return and you can’t even look at him, feeling your cheeks burn with embarrassment.

You had tried for so long to figure out what his motives were. Every time he did things that went beyond common courtesy, your gut would scream at you to find a hidden motive. No one was ever this nice to you unless they were put up to it. You’d had enough experience to realise this.

When you couldn’t find anything it only confused you more. You had shoved it away a while ago after he never displayed any other reason. You let yourself believe it for once.

But it was back; the incessant need to know everything. It was gnawing at you along with everything else because Ransone knew exactly what buttons to push. There had to be something.

“Y/N,” he called out softly. You felt his hands on your shoulders, urging you to look at him.

“It’s stupid,” you murmur, trying to ignore the fluttering in your heart.

“It’s not. And I need you to look at me when I say this,” he says slowly, drawing your attention to his face. “I care about you. More than you think I do. You’re not some means to an end. He’s wrong and I need you to believe me on that.”

He waits for it to set in. You get why he wanted you to look at him now. There wasn’t an inkling of deceit in what he was saying. You had seen him lie, seen him try to bluff his way out of a petty situation. It wasn’t this.

He cared about you because he wanted to. Not because he was forced to; whether it was because you lived together, or because of something else.

There was so much more you wanted to ask him but nothing got past your throat. It was too heavy. You needed help.

There was barely any distance between the both of you. You could feel his breath, skin tingling from where he was holding you.

You unconsciously move in, drifting towards the warmth he radiated. Your hands find a place on his sturdy chest, and you let his heartbeat tether you.

His eyes close when you lean your forehead against his, forcing himself to control his breathing that was threatening to get away from him.

You don’t know how long you stay like that, forehead pressed against his, trying to make your peace with what he said.

You want to kiss him, much stronger than the last time you had the same thought. Just to see what it’d be like.

You instead pull away gently. Your hands still rest on his chest. You need time to figure out where your head's at.

“I trust you.” Is all you can say, not tearing your eyes away from him.

He presses a kiss to your forehead, letting it linger there for a second and you revel in the flips your stomach does. “I trust you.”

But for now, maybe you can be content with where you are.

Next part

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qqueenofhades · 3 years

Note

Hi, I’ve been tasked with researching Richard Plantagenet for a paper and thus far found extremely negative accounts of the king, his religious bigotry being a reoccurring theme (his treatment of Jewish dignitaries attending his coronation and his reasoning to join the third crusade etc)

I stumbled across your wonderful tag for Richard at the weekend and wondered if you wouldn’t mind sharing your informed opinion of Richard and his views on religions ? Your writing seems very well balanced regarding his attributes and flaws. Thanks :)

Oof. Okay. So, a short and simple question, then?

Quick note: when I was first reading your ask and saw "Richard Plantagenet," I briefly assumed that you meant Richard Plantagenet, father of Edward IV, or perhaps Richard III, both from the Wars of the Roses in the fifteenth century, before seeing from context that you meant Richard I. While "Plantagenet" was first used as an informal appellation by Richard I's grandfather, Geoffrey of Anjou, it wasn't until several centuries later that the English royal house started to use it consistently as a surname. So it's not something that Richard I would have been really called or known by, even if historians tend to use it as a convenient labeling conceit. (See: the one thousand popular histories on "The Plantagenets" that have been published recently.)

As for Richard I, he is obviously an extremely complex and controversial figure for many reasons, though one of the first things that you have to understand is that he has been mythologized and reinvented and reinterpreted down the centuries for many reasons, especially his crusade participation and involvement in the Robin Hood legends. When you're researching about Richard, you're often reading reactions/interpretations of that material more than anything specifically rooted in the primary sources. And while I am glad that you asked me about this and want to encourage you to do so, I will gently enquire to start off: when you say "research," what kind of materials are you looking at, exactly? Are these actual published books/papers/academic material, or unsourced stuff on the internet written from various amateur/ideological perspectives and by people who have particular agendas for depicting Richard as the best (or as is more often the case, worst) ever? Because history, to nobody's surprise, is complicated. Richard did good things and he also did quite bad things, and it's difficult to reduce him to one or the other.

Briefly (ha): I'll say just that if a student handed me a paper stating that Richard was a religious bigot because a) there were anti-Jewish riots during his coronation and b) he signed up for the Third Crusade, I would seriously question it. Medieval violence against the Jews was an unfortunately endemic part of crusade preparations, and all we know about Richard's own reaction is that he fined the perpetrators harshly (repeated after a similar March 1190 incident in York) and ordered for them to be punished. Therefore, while there famously was significant anti-Semitic violence at his coronation, Richard himself was not the one who instigated it, and he ordered for the Londoners who did take part in it to be punished for breaking the king's peace.

This, however, also doesn't mean that Richard was a great person or that he was personally religiously tolerant. We don't know that and we often can't know that, whether for him or anyone else. This is the difficulty of inferring private thoughts or beliefs from formal records. This is why historians, at least good historians, mostly refrain from speculating on how a premodern private individual actually thought or felt or identified. We do know that Richard likewise also made a law in 1194 to protect the Jews residing in his domains, known as Capitula Judaeis. This followed in the realpolitik tradition of Pope Calixtus II, who had issued Sicut Judaeis in c. 1120 ordering European Christians not to harass Jews or forcibly convert them. This doesn't mean that either Calixtus or Richard thought Jews were great, but they did choose a different and more pragmatic/economic way of dealing with them than their peers. This does not prove "religious bigotry" and would need a lot more attention as an analytical concept.

As for saying that the crusades were motivated sheerly by medieval religious bigotry, I'm gonna have to say, hmm, no. Speaking as someone with a PhD in medieval history who specialised in crusade studies, there is an enormous literature around the question of why the crusades happened and why they continue to hold such troubling attraction as a pattern of behavior for the modern world. Yes, Richard went on crusade (as did the entire Western Latin world, pretty much, since 1187 and the fall of Jerusalem was the twelfth century's 9/11). But there also exists material around him that doesn't exist around any other crusade leader, including his extensive diplomatic relations with the Muslims, their personal admiration for him, his friendship with Saladin and Saladin's brother Saif al-Din, the fact that Arabic and Islamic sources can be more complimentary about Richard than the Christian records of his supposed allies, and so forth. I think Frederick II of Sicily, also famous for his friendly relationships with Muslims, is the only other crusade leader who has this kind of material. So however he did act on crusade, and for whatever reasons he went, Richard likewise chose the pragmatic path in his interactions with Muslims, or at least the Muslim military elite, than just considering them all as religious barbarians unworthy of his time or attention.

The question of how the crusades functioned as a pattern of expected behavior for the European Christian male aristocrat, sometimes entirely divorced from any notion of his private religious beliefs, is much longer and technical than we can possibly get into. (As again, I am roughly summarising a vast and contentious field of academic work for you here, so... yes.) Saying that the crusades happened only because medieval people were all religious zealots is a wild oversimplification of the type that my colleague @oldshrewsburyian and I have to deal with in our classrooms, and likewise obscures the dangerous ways in which the modern world is, in some ways, more devoted to replicating this pattern than ever. It puts it beyond the remit of analysis and into the foggy "Dark Ages hurr durr bad" stereotype that drives me batty.

Weighted against this is the fact that Richard obviously killed many Muslims while on crusade, and that this was motivated by religious and ideological convictions that were fairly standard for his day but less admirable in ours. The question of how that violence has been glorified by the alt-right people who think there was nothing wrong with it at all and he should have done more must also be taken into account. Richard's rise to prominence as a quintessentially English chivalrous hero in the nineteenth century, right when Britain was building its empire and needed to present the crusades as humane and civilizing missions abroad rather than violent and generally failed attempts at forced conversion and conquest, also problematized this. As noted, Richard was many things, but... not that, and when the crusades fell out of fashion again in the twentieth century, he was accordingly drastically villainized. Neither the superhero or the supervillain images of him are accurate, even if they're cheap and easy.

The English nationalists have a complicated relationship with Richard: he represents the ideal they aspire to, aesthetically speaking, and the kind of anti-immigrant sentiment they like to put in his mouth, which is far more than the historical Richard actually displayed toward his Muslim counterparts. (At least, again, so far as we can know anything about his private beliefs, but this is what we can infer from his actions in regard to Saladin, who he deeply respected, and Saladin's brother.) But he was also thoroughly a French knight raised and trained in the twelfth-century martial tradition, his concern for England was only as a minor part of the sprawling 'Angevin empire' he inherited from his father Henry II (which is heresy for the Brexit types who think England should always be the center of the world), and his likely inability to speak English became painted as a huge character flaw. (Notwithstanding that after the Norman Conquest in 1066, England did not have a king who spoke English natively until Henry IV in 1399, but somehow all those others don't get blamed as much as Richard.)

Anyway. I feel as if it's best to stop here. Hopefully this points you toward the complexity of the subject and gives you some guidelines in doing your own research from here. :)

#anonymous #ask #history #medieval history #richard the lionheart #long post

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sinshckled · 3 years

Text

━━ ╴- AGUST D, D-2 [ 2020 ] ⤷ LYRICAL STARTERS.

collection of various sentence starters from AGUST D’s second mixtape. - translations were taken from doolsetbangtan, w/ occasional help from genius ; - minor edits were made as to accomodate roleplay needs ; - feel free to change pronouns or wording as to best fit your muse !

cw: angst, depression, mentions of violence, alcohol, lots and lots of SWEARING !

━━━━━━━

TRACK ONE. — 저 달 ( Moonlight )

❝ Fuck, I’m just doing it. ❞

❝ In my head, the reality fights with the ideal tirelessly. ❞

❝ My biggest enemy is the anger inside me. ❞

❝ Sometimes I resent god, asking why he made me live a life like this. ❞

❝ Sometimes I ask myself again, ‘if it was possible to go back, would you ?’ Well, I’ll have to think more about that. ❞

❝ One moment I feel like I’ve easily earned what I have, and the next moment I’m compensated for the fucking hard work I’ve done. ❞

❝ But I’m still hungry, would this be karma ? ❞

❝ That moonlight that shines on me at dawn, it’s still the same as then. A lot changed in my life, but that moonlight is still the same. ❞

❝ Sometimes I feel like I’m a genius. Sometimes I feel like I have no talent. ❞

❝ There would be no eternity for anything. ❞

❝ Being called immortal is fucking overwhelming. ❞

❝ But the adjectives they attach to my name feel too much sometimes. ❞

❝ What can I do, I should just keep running. ❞

❝ What can I do, I should just keep hold of things that I’m grasping. ❞

❝ What can I do, I should just pay back what I’ve received. ❞

❝ If you think you’re gonna crash, accelerate even harder, you idiot ! ❞

TRACK TWO. — 대취타 ( Daechwita )

❝ Don’t forget the old days. ❞

❝ Born a slave, risen to a king. ❞

❝ Rags to riches, that’s exactly the way I live. ❞

❝ I’m sorry, but don’t worry about me ; I have lots to lose. ❞

❝ I'm about to dine on what I know is mine. ❞

❝ Not gonna lie, what a shitshow. ❞

❝ I’ve got no pretensions, just kill ’em all. ❞

❝ No exceptions, I watch you fall. ❞

❝ Who’s the king ? Who’s the boss ? ❞

❝ Everyone knows my name. ❞

❝ All shit-talk, they’ve got no game. ❞

❝ Off with their heads, ah ! ❞

❝ This country's too small to hold me in yet. ❞

❝ Who said time is money ? My time is worth more than that. ❞

❝ I'm so thankful that I'm a genius. ❞

❝ If that’s your reason for using drugs, cry me a river — you’ve just got no skills. ❞

❝ I got everything I wanted, I wonder what else I should have to feel satisfied. ❞

❝ Yeah, what's next ? ❞

❝ Here comes my reality check. ❞

❝ I only looked up ; now I want to look down and put my feet on the ground. ❞

❝ Remember my name. ❞

━━━ MORE UNDER THE CUT !

TRACK THREE. — 어떻게 생각해? ( What do you think? )

❝ What do you think ? ❞

❝ Whatever you think, I’m sorry but I don’t fucking care at all. ❞

❝ I’m sorry but I don’t care at all about how mediocre your life is, or about the fact that you can’t escape the shithole after failing. ❞

❝ Thinking that my success has anything to do with your failure… you’re fucking great at being delusional. ❞

❝ Your sense of humor is so so. ❞

❝ The fact that you're fucked is your fault, no-no? ❞

❝ We conquer it all, one by one, like we’ve been doing all this time. ❞

❝ All of you go fuck yourself, huh ! ❞

❝ The brats that boast about their money, you have to wonder how much they could've actually earnt on their own. ❞

❝ Bragging about money looks cute now. ❞

❝ We’ll go serve in the military when the time comes. ❞

❝ I hope all those bastards who tried to get a free ride by selling our names shut their mouths up. ❞

❝ At this point, I don’t have to know. ❞

❝ I don’t fucking care. ❞

❝ While this will be my last gift, this as well is luxury for you. ❞

TRACK FOUR. — 이상하지 않은가 ( Strange ) ft. RM

❝ Everything in dust, do you see ? ❞

❝ Well well well…❞

❝ Everything in lust. ❞

❝ Someone please tell me if life is pain. ❞

❝ If there’s a god, please tell me if life is happiness. ❞

❝ A big system that’s called the world ; They insert conflicts, wars, or survivals. ❞

❝ Capital injects morphine called hope with dream as collateral. ❞

❝ Wealth creates wealth and tests our greed. ❞

❝ In the world, it’s only the two, black and white, that exist. ❞

❝ In the endless zero-sum game, the end is entertaining to watch. ❞

❝ Polarization... the ugliest flower in the world. ❞

❝ It’s been a long while since truth got eaten away by lies. ❞

❝ Who would it be that benefits the most? Who would it be that gets harmed the most ? ❞

❝ The one who isn’t sick in the world that is sick gets treated as a mutant, isn’t it strange ? ❞

❝ The one who has his eyes open in the world that has its eyes closed — now they make him out to be blind, isn’t it strange ? ❞

❝ The one who wants peace, the one who wants a fight — each taking each end of the ideology, isn’t it strange ? ❞

❝ There’s no correct answer, isn’t it strange ? ❞

❝ You think you’ve got taste? Oh, baby, how do you know? ❞

❝ For god’s sake, everything's under control ! ❞

❝ However much money one has, everyone is a slave of this system. ❞

❝ At this point, even you wouldn’t know. ❞

❝ Oh baby, what’s your name? ❞

❝ But still, life goes on, somehow, just like this. ❞

❝ Everyone, in their own chicken coop, says they’re okay. ❞

❝ In the world where a dream has become an option… there’s no correct answer, that’s the answer. ❞

TRACK FIVE. — 점점 어른이 되나봐 ( 28 ), ft. NiiHWA

❝ And yet, would it have been better to not know the world? ❞

❝ Perhaps I’m gradually becoming an adult. ❞

❝ I can’t remember what were the things that I hoped for. ❞

❝ Now I’m scared. ❞

❝ Where did the fragments of my dream go ? ❞

❝ Though I’m breathing, it feels like my heart has broken down. ❞

❝ Yeah, to talk about now, it’s about becoming an adult who finds it only overwhelming to grasp onto a dream. ❞

❝ I thought I’d change when I turned twenty ; I thought I’d change when I graduated. ❞

❝ Sometimes, tears suddenly pour down with no reason. ❞

❝ Whatever it is, it doesn’t matter anymore. ❞

❝ Living, for just one day, without any concerns... for just one day, without any worries. ❞

TRACK SIX. — Burn it, ft. MAX

❝ I see the ashes falling out your window. ❞

❝ There’s someone in the mirror that you don’t know. ❞

❝ And everything was all wrong ; so burn it till it’s all gone. ❞

❝ Let’s go back to the past days, to the times that destroyed me. ❞

❝ After having a taste of success, how am I different from the me of back then ? ❞

❝ Let the old me burn. ❞

❝ I wonder what would remain in the end ? ❞

❝ The weakness, hatred, loathing, and even rage — Them, too, are rather futile. ❞

❝ Be careful of the word ‘beginner’s mindset’, don’t be afraid. ❞

❝ Whether it would become a blazing sun or the ashes left behind after being burnt — always, the choice and decision is yours to make. ❞

❝ I hope you don’t forget that giving up decisively also counts as courage. ❞

TRACK SEVEN. — 사람 (People)

❝ What kind of person am I ? ❞

❝ Am I a good person ? Or a bad person ? ❞

❝ I’m just a person, too. ❞

❝ Everyone would fade away and be forgotten. ❞

❝ People change — like I have. ❞

❝ There’s nothing that lasts forever. ❞

❝ Everything is just a happening passing through.❞

❝ Mm… why so serious ? ❞

❝ If you get hurt, what about it ? ❞

❝ Flow along the way the water flows ; maybe there’s something at the end. ❞

❝ A special life, an ordinary life, each of them on their own. ❞

❝ It’s all good, it’s all good. ❞

❝ Things don’t always go as intended ; Discomfort is something everyone has to withstand. ❞

❝ The repetition of dramatic situations sometimes makes life tiring. ❞

❝ People are like that. ❞

❝ When it’s not there, you wish it was ; when it’s there, you wish it wasn’t. ❞

❝ Who said that humans are the animals of wisdom ? To my eyes, it’s obvious that they are animals of regret. ❞

TRACK EIGHT. — 혼술 ( Honsool )

❝ It’s time that I fully face myself. ❞

❝ After finishing a shower, I detoxify myself with alcohol. ❞

❝ Perhaps it’s the alcohol that puts a period at the end of the day that is blurry in my memory. ❞

❝ I’ll just worry about tomorrow’s work tomorrow, fuck I don’t care. ❞

❝ I don’t really reach for snacks because I feel like I’d throw up if I did. ❞

❝ Since it’s getting to my head, let’s be honest about my life. ❞

❝ Oh yeah, money, fame, wealth, trophies and stadiums — sometimes I’d get scared of them. ❞

❝ I thought I’d party every day when I become a superstar, but the ideal is slapping the reality in the back of its head. ❞

❝ Well, it doesn’t matter anyway ; Tomorrow will come and go again. ❞

❝ I, who’s like this, and you, who’s like that… we just endure through the day, I guess. ❞

TRACK NINE. — Interlude : Set me free

❝ Set me free, knowing that it won’t go the way I want. ❞

❝ Set me free, knowing that it’s not what I want. ❞

❝ Set me free, I’m floating freely in the void. ❞

❝ Set me free, these days, I feel melancholy for no obvious reason. ❞

❝ One day, I crawl on the floor ; On another day, I fly high in the sky. ❞

TRACK TEN. — 어땠을까 ( Dear my friend ), ft. JW of NELL

❝ Still, as ever, I miss you, and I miss you. ❞

❝ Still, as ever, the memories of us together circle around me. ❞

❝ Maybe, if I had held you back then… no, if I had stopped you back then… ❞

❝ Would we have remained friends ? What would have it been like ? ❞

❝ Dear my friend, how are you doing ? ❞

❝ I, well, am doing well, as you probably know, yeah. ❞

❝ Dear my friend, I’ll be honest. I still fucking hate you. ❞

❝ I still remember the old days, when we were together. ❞

❝ “With the two of us, even the world is nothing to be afraid of” ; We used to say that, and now we walk on completely different paths, damn. ❞

❝ We, who had big dreams, were young, we were only twenty. ❞

❝ Would it be that you’ve changed, or was it me ? ❞

❝ I hate this flowing time, I guess it’s us who’ ve changed. ❞

❝ Hey, I hate you. Hey, I don't like you — Hey, even as I say these words, I miss you. ❞

❝ When I saw you for the first time in a while, you had become a completely different person. ❞

❝ There was no way to bring you back, and you became a monster.❞

❝ The you I used to know is gone, and the me you used to know is gone. ❞

❝ I know that it’s not just because of time that we’ve changed. ❞

#rp memes #rp starters #sentence starters #lyric starters #agust d #suga #bts #rp prompts #roleplay memes #roleplay prompts #✦ ʃ — out of stars ; ◜ooc.◞ * ⋆#✦ ʃ — ◜memes.◞ * ⋆#✦ ʃ — ◜original.◞ * ⋆

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jeanandthedreamofhorses · 3 years

Text

Life without the Will to Life: Zeke’s Epiphany

Restless struggling and suffering for the sake of an impossible goal: in a sentence, that is how the philosopher Arthur Schopenhauer saw life. Despite the inevitability of death, we are enslaved by an instinctual compulsion to preserve ourselves.

This compulsion, the Will to Life, is the characteristic that defines life itself.

The Will to Life manifests in many forms, not only in struggling to survive. Any attempt to improve the comfort of our existence is a manifestation of the Will to Life. That is to say, all human striving is a naïve denial of the reality of death.

And when the fundamental drive of our existence is that irrational, we cannot be free to make rational choices regarding how we live our lives in spite of death. Instead, the Will to Life forces us to live like tortured prisoners, suffering pain and inflicting pain on others all for the sake of fulfilling that Will which can never truly be satisfied.

We are like addicts putting ourselves and our loved ones in danger for the sake of our next fix - and it will never be our last one. So long as we satisfy the urge, the addiction will never go away.

Evidently, Zeke is in agreement.

About a year ago now I wrote a two-part series on Schopenhauen themes in SNK. Back then I wasn’t sure how much of the correlation was a co-incidence, but Zeke’s philosophising this chapter has convinced me of Isayama’s familiarity with Schopenhauen thought.

Multiplying is the means by which life survives, and therefore a function of its Will to Life. With that in mind, if you replace ‘in order to multiply’ with ‘in order to fulfil its Will to Life’, Zeke expounds Schopenhauer’s philosophy almost word-for-word: the Will to Life is the fundamental aspect of existence, it is pointless in the long run, and it condemns people to unnecessary suffering.

The intricate sandcastle Zeke builds while describing the Will to Life illustrates the concept further. No matter how much effort is put into building a sandcastle, the nature of the material it is built with means it will inevitably crumble away. Likewise, no matter how life struggles to survive - whether that be an individual, a nation, or a species - it cannot overcome its fundamentally finite nature.

The only lifeform that has managed that impossible feat is Ymir Fritz: the tantalising goal of the Will to Life, which is always forever beyond reach, was reached by Ymir through a miracle.

The power of the Nine Titans made it possible. Now living in a world where death does not exist, she should no longer be enslaved by the compulsion to live. She should be the only human who is able to find true peace and happiness within life rather than outside it.

But instead, she continued to involve herself in the affairs of the mortal world, taking orders from the royal bloodline and, eventually, turning on them to help Eren destroy the world. Zeke is immensely confused by this.

Where Ymir could find peace and tranquillity, instead she continues to struggle, strive, and suffer. She continues to subject herself to the Will to Life because, although she cannot die, she remains deeply involved with a world of people who will inevitably die. The goals that Ymir helps them with are ultimately pointless, destined to fade away to dust - and Ymir knows that. So Zeke is confused as to why she did not simply reach out and take the freedom from it all in front of her.

This is why Zeke chose not to help stop the Rumbling. Engaging with the mortal realm at all would be to continue to enslave himself to his arch-enemy, the Will to Life, just like Ymir did. Now he is in this deathless realm, he demands that he at last has the satisfaction of being free of that Will, and so chooses to do nothing.

The situation Zeke found himself in would be Schopenhauer’s ideal: life without the Will to Life. Only, Zeke is hardly blissful in this state. Despite his determination not to be like Ymir, he too is still enslaved to the Will to Life. Rather than rejoicing at his freedom from it, his thoughts are grounded in the mortal realm, lamenting its enslavement by the Will to Life. He remains attached like Ymir is.

It would seem that humans are just too used to living with the Will to Life to be free of it, even when deathless; perhaps this is why, despite vocally rejecting the Will to Life, in practice Zeke preserves his life by staying in the Path Dimension. Even Ymir’s miracle is not enough to liberate humanity of the Will to Life.

So what is there left to do? Die, or never be born in the first place.

Zeke’s plan for euthanasia was the inevitable end-point of Schopenhauen philosophy.

As part of his crusade against the Will to Life, Zeke believes it would be kinder to remain in the Path Dimension and allow humanity to be wiped out. It is the only means of freeing them from the tyranny of the Will.

With this logic, one wonders why Zeke and Schopenhauer did not simply kill themselves. Why live when living can only mean suffering?

Schopenhauer’s justification for life was that there are small avenues within it through which one can escape the Will to Life - where one, for the briefest of precious moments, could appreciate existence without restlessly striving after something. Tranquillity, presence in the moment, peace of mind - for Schopenhauer, these are the things which redeem existence.

And this is exactly Armin’s counter-argument to Zeke. He argues that these things are beautiful precisely because they have nothing to do with the urge to multiply - that is, they are free from the Will to Life.

Those moments are freedom for Armin and Zeke - being able to appreciate the moment without finding fault or desiring anything beyond it. Zeke is able to appreciate the fact of his birth purely because of those moments playing catch with Mr Xaver, where he was free from the compulsion to restlessly strive.

Zeke sees the pinnacle of his life not in the enactment of his euthanasia plan, but in playing catch.

This is because the euthanasia plan, though intending to liberate Eldians from the Will to Life, was itself a form of restless striving and so an expression of that very same Will. Likewise, his depression in the Path Dimension was because his mind was still fixated on the tragedy of the Will to Life. The only way to be free of the Will to Life is not to understand its true nature, but to forget about it entirely.

Zeke has had to restlessly strive ever since he was a child, with the enormous expectations placed upon him by his parents; so those moments of playing catch and not having to think about anything else were beautiful to Zeke. That’s why he took the time to play catch with Colt, just like Xaver did for him.

Zeke comes to the conclusion that those simple moments of satisfaction were brilliant enough to justify all the suffering of striving that exists elsewhere in life. Something finally justifies his birth, and so he thanks his father for the gift he once hated him for.

It is telling, though, that Zeke does not renounce the worth of his euthanasia plan. This is because Armin argues with Zeke within the frame of his Schopenhauen ideology. He does not try to convince Zeke that the Will to Life is desirable after all; he appeals to Zeke to value life precisely because it provides moments where one can reject the Will to Life. Thus Zeke can appreciate his own existence while still believing that there is nothing heinous in preventing further manifestations of the Will to Life: in both situations, the Will to Life is opposed.

So Zeke dies in truer accordance with the same ideology he has always lived by. In all his restless striving to end the need for restless striving, Zeke never took a moment to appreciate the beauty that exists in those small moments free of that urge. Like his brother, he had been so focused on destroying his enemy that he was unable to appreciate what he was trying to protect.

And so, in a final rejection of the Will to Life, he leaves behind immortality, the ultimate longing of that Will, to embrace death within the realm of the mortal. He calls over the person he knows wants to kill him more than any other.

Zeke’s yell of “Can’t say I wanted to do the same!!” reveals that he does not want to die. The Will to Life is still strong in him, but Zeke overcomes it and allows Levi to kill him in the hope that countless lives will be saved - lives that, for the sake of those brief windows free from the Will to Life, are now worth something to him. So where once he claimed he was saving his victims from the Will to Life, he finally regrets "all the killing” he has done.

By Schopenhauer’s definition, Zeke finally found his freedom. Ironically, he could only face his death when he had once again found meaning in life.

#shingeki no kyojin #snk meta #snk 137 #zeke jaeger #armin arlert #arthur schopenhauer #difficult concept but i hope i've been able to communicate it

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falcor-thee-luck-dragon · 4 years

Text

Of Monsters and Men

Chapter 8- Bottled Appetites

Summary: A peaceful day can turn sour so fast, but alas, it still never fails to bring you adventure. Whether you’re ready for it or not.

Warnings: Jaskier being stubit, blood, Geralt being a hottie, a bit of smut

Masterlist

Today couldn't be more beautiful, the sun is shining her grand radiance and the forest is full of life as you listen to the singing of birds from your comfortable spot on a large tree branch that's hanging over top of Geralt. He's currently focused intently on fishing out a djinn to hopefully cure his sleep apnea that's been really bothering him as of late. Well, that's at least the reasoning he's claimed.

You've tried to help him with herbs, potions, and more sensual physical activities. But nothing has appeared to work, so here he is, grumpier then usual as he throws a fishing net into the river in hopes that he'll snag himself a djinn in a bottle.

Laying your back against the long branch, one of your legs swings casually back and forth as you listen to your surroundings. Your stomach growls from lack of any sufficient food in the last two days when your ears suddenly hear the tell tale singing of a certain bard as he strolls through the woodland in search of his long time friends, "Cause you all know. That this bard. Loved ladies from Nilfgaard. 'Cause Nilfgaard can kiss my..." Sings the bard as he wanders down the trail until his eyes land on your Witcher, "Geralt! Hello. What's it been months? Years? What is time, anyway? I heard you and Y/N...wherever she is....were in town.' His voice is just as cheerful and upbeat as you'd remembered, "Are you following me, you scamp? I mean I'm flattered and everything, but I think that feisty lady of yours may start to get jealous." Rambles Jaskier as he takes out his flask.

He takes a small sip before offering it to Geralt, who ignores him, Jaskier shakes this off and keeps to his questioning when suddenly you drop down from seemingly out of nowhere. Doing a fantastic job at scaring the shit out of Jaskier in your abrupt arrival, he yelps before stumbling back a few feet. "Dear gods Y/N have you been just hanging around in the treetops like some type of...of..bat?" He stammers breathlessly, a hand over his thudding heart.

Smirking at him you throw him a quick wink, "Only for you my humble bard." He stands up straight as a light blush dusts his cheeks as you turn to follow Geralt down the side of the river path, while he searches for a better spot to catch this djinn, Jaskier trailing behind you both.

"Geralt, you're fantastic at a great many things, but clearly, fishing is not one of them. Have you caught anything today? What are you fishing for, exactly?" Intrudes Jaskier as Geralt fiddles with his netting while you lean against a tree, "Is it cod? Carp?" He looks to you for a second before his attentions back on Geralt, "Pike? Bream? I'm just....I'm just listing off fish that I know. Zander? Is that a fish?" Wonders the bard as he raises a brow at you.

You simply shrug, "He's not fishing, can't sleep." Jaskier nods, not sure what to do with that information.

"Right. Good. Well, that...makes sense. In so much that it sort of...doesn't." Frowns Jaskier as he suddenly looks a bit more worried, "What's going on Geralt, talk to me."

Geralt stops before letting out a tired sigh as he looks to Jaskier, "A djinn." Is all he admits before he's back to grappling with his net.

You watch as Jaskier's face scrunches up in deep confusion, "A what?"

"I'm looking for a djinn." Grumbles Geralt as the bards face looks even more puzzled then before.

Then all at once it seems that he's finally connected the dots, a smirk breaking upon his face as he sets his hands onto either hip, "For a dj....for a djinn? A dj...like a genie?" Laughs Jaskier as he wiggles his fingers in a playful manner, "The floaty fellas with the....the bad tempers and the banned magics, that kind of genie?"

Geralt stand up once again, a hard expression across his brow while Jaskier fails at concealing his laughter, "Yes. It'll grant me wishes. It's in this river somewhere. And I can't FUCKING SLEEP!" Snaps Geralt, golden eyes glowing even brighter as his anger boils over.

Geralt glances to you for a brief moment before turning and walking further down the river path, the bard follows suite as you trail behind them, amused at Jaskier's continuous rambling about his latest adventures and the possible reason why Geralt is so sleep deprived.

"Have you ever considered why you may be feeling this way hm, let's say...oh I don't know, we find the root of the problem. I mean, maybe, just maybe this whole sleeplessness-ness has got something to do with what the druid Mousesack said to you guys in Cintra? You know, the Law of Surprise? Destiny? Being unable to escape the child that belongs to you, et cetera, et cetera?" Inquires Jaskier as you watch Geralt prepare to throw in the net.

"No! Y/N was there too and she's fine....this is something else." Grumbles your Witcher as he throws his net into the waters below.

Jaskier looks from you to Geralt, hands on his hips the whole time, "Yeah, you're probably right. But what if you're not? You know, the Countess de Stael once said to me...that destiny is just the embodiment of the soul's desire to grow." Explains Jaskier he walks past you to sit down on a log.

A small laugh escapes from your lips as you turn to the bard, "Did you sing to her before she left?" You honestly couldn't help yourself, pushing Jaskier's buttons is just a solid talent of yours.

He looks out at the water, "I did, actually, and she.." His head quickly turns to you once he realizes what that comment suggested, "Why, what are you implying?" Wonders Jaskier as he tilts his head to you, a smirk breaks out upon your face as you then bite your lip to keep silent. He gets up from the log, an abashed expression crossing his features, "Oh, we are so having this conversation. Come on, Y/N. Geralt. Tell me. Be honest. How's my singing?"

You cross your arms over your chest while casually looking out at the river and pretend that he hasn't even said anything, although you're certain Geralt on the other hand will add his two cents. He tosses his net out into the water once again before turning to Jaskier, "It's like ordering a pie and finding it has no filling." Deadpans Geralt as you burst with laughter, Jaskier looking rather taken aback as his eyes go wide in surprise.

"You need a nap! I mean are you trying to hurt my feelings, Geralt? It's...it's down-downright indecorous of you, if I'm completely honest, and.." He quickly loses interest once Geralt unveils a bottle from his net, "Wow. Wow. What is...what is that?" Questions Jaskier as Geralt holds the djinn bottle in his muddy hands, you hover over his shoulder as you stare at the thing in amazement. It doesn't look like much but the wizards seal on the bottles cork is truly telling, too bad it doesn't have a three course meal inside.

"It's a wizards seal. The djinn." Geralt confirms softly as he studies the enchanted bottle until Jaskier suddenly grabs onto the bottles other handle.

"Do you mind if I...."

"Jaskier." Snaps Geralt as you stand back to watch, deciding it more entertaining if you don't intervene.

The bard points an accusing finger in his direction, "Take it back about my filling-less pie. Take it back, you get your djinny-djinn-djinn."

Rolling your crimson eyes you set a hand on your hip, "Let go Jask."

He turns to you with a fake sneer before snapping his attention back to your stoic Witcher, "No! No, you let go, you horse's arse!" Suddenly the bottle slips from Geralt's hand as he looks down at the cork in his fist, a confused expression on his handsome features as nothing appears to happen around either of them.

Jaskier studies the bottle in his hand, looking rather disappointed, "That's a bit of an anticlimax." He mutters dismally at the boring turn of events, although you can't help but notice as a soft supernatural whispering begins to make itself known to your hypersensitive ears, then right on cue does the wind begin to pick up, the woods feeling a bit darker as the clouds go grey up above, "Or is it?" He says excitedly as he wiggles his eyebrows at you.

Crossing your arms over your chest, your nerves prick at the odd change in the atmosphere, "Shit." You mumble while Jaskier walks past Geralt, he gives you a sour look as you grimace in knowing annoyance.

Standing on the edge of the riverbank, Jaskier points to the sky, "Djinn, I have freed thee, and as of this day, I am thy lord. Firstly, may Valdo Marx the troubadour of Cidaris, be struck down with apoplexy and die. Secondly, the Countess de Stael must welcome me back with glee, open arms and very little clothing. Thirdly..." Geralt quickly pulls him back in an attempt to shut him up before something terrible happens to him.

"Jaskier! Stop. There are only three wishes." Warns Geralt as you stand next to him, the both of you staring the bard down like two disappointed parents.

"You're a fucking idiot, Jask." You add bluntly as he simply rolls his blue eyes, unbothered by this djinn considering his two friends are a Witcher and dhampire.

"Only three wishes!" Grumbles Geralt as Jaskier observes his agitated demeanor.

"Oh, come on, you got Y/N, she's quite literally the best thing that's ever happened to you...how was I to know you wanted three wishes all to yourself?" Shouts the bard over the loud enchanted winds that are rapidly starting to build, ones that are rocking the tree branches and leaves every which way, as well as your hair.

"I just want some damn peace!" Bellows Geralt in frustration.

"Well, here's your peace!" Snaps Jaskier before idiotically smashing the bottle upon the ground in a blind moment of irritation.

Geralt quickly squats down to pick up the broken shards as you reach down to do the same, while picking them up he accidentally cuts himself on a sharp edge. You can instantly smell the blood, and though you haven't given into darker temptations in a long while. You're rather hungry from lack of coin to pay for any such meals that would gladly satisfy you, and right now it feels too much.

Snapping away from Geralt, you stand to your full height as you finally notice how sickly peculiar Jaskier is starting to appear, "Uh Y/N.." Gasps the bard breathlessly as he holds a hand to his throat, "Y/N...it's the djinn!" Stammers Jaskier as he points towards the river, you snap your attention to find a wispy black and purple mass racing for the three of you over the water.

Your eyes go wide in startled bewilderment, "Geralt!" You shout just as he stands and uses his magic to propel the creature back where it decides to take off into the sky.

Your Witcher stares up at the horizon as you catch the enthralling scent of blood once more, god you should really have eaten some berries or at least stolen something earlier to avoid this terrible primal hunger. You look over to Jaskier who's not looking too hot, a tiny trail of blood seeps out of the side of his mouth, his neck forming an unnatural lump as he wheezes in pain.

Geralt snaps his golden eyes down to the panicking bard, "Jaskier." He speaks before Jask leans over, a ruby red spurt of blood bursting from out of his mouth as he tries to gasp for breath, "Y/N?" Pleads Geralt in hopes that you can help him somehow. Though you're certain that if you would get any closer, you may break and give into your deeper vampiric desires that you've held at bay for so long. The part of you that has forever kept yourself from ever truly feeling human.

Shaking your head you flicker your eyes over to him, "I...I can't....I'm too starved....I'm sorry." You breath out, taking a cautious step back, the scent of Jaskier's warm blood on the breeze is enough to make your mouth water.

He purses his lips together, knowing that you can't do much for the time being, "Fuck." Grumbles Geralt as he quickly picks up Jaskier before booking it down the trail for Roach.

——

You follow in the form of a pack of bats close behind your boys as Geralt leads Roach to a small camp in the woods. You watch as he yells in question for a doctor, Jaskier slumped to the side as he leans into Geralt's broad back. Quickly a soldier confirms that an elven healer is inside, you land on a large firm tree branch, turning back into your original form as you watch them scurry into the grand white tent.

You focus your hearing and learn that if Jaskier's wounds are not treated by proper magic remedies, then he will certainly die. A pang of worry strikes you at the thought of your bard gone, and you do feel quite terrible knowing that he's in so much pain. But to your great or at least somewhat relief does the elf give Jaskier a pain relieving liquid concoction, thus explaining that a malicious and cunning mage is imprisoned in the mayor's house in the next town over who could heal the bards wounds.

A prominent feeling of uneasiness and caution surges throughout you at the thought of meeting another mage after months of evading any at all. Soon enough they quickly exit the tent and find themselves upon Roach's back before they take off in the direction of the closest town. With a heavy sigh you jump from the tree, shifting into a pack of whimsical black bats as you fly after Geralt throughout the tree tops and evening sky.

You're flight feels short lived as a couple miles later does Geralt finally find the large brick house of the mayor, its a rather beautiful place positioned on the edge of a huge lake with woods comfortably surrounding it. Roach gallops onto the gravel road when suddenly a tough half bald bearded man walks up to them. He gives them a hard time before Geralt abruptly knocks him out with a sack of coins, much to your amusement.

He takes Roach to the stables as you fly downward towards the ground, just as Geralt walks out of the barn with Jaskier dangling over his shoulder, you hastily shift back into your more presentable self. He gives you a nod of acknowledgment before a stern and determined look appears onto his hard features as he practically strides towards the closest wooden door. You follow behind as you clench your fists together in an attempt at distracting yourself from your ever growing hunger, the blood seeping out of Jaskier's mouth smells sweet as fresh berries as it wafts into your nostrils.

He wheezes in pain with every step that Geralt takes down the wine filled hallway which is enough to keep yourself from doing anything you'll regret later. He walks through a doorway before gently setting Jaskier onto the kitchen table, you follow in after him, your crimson eyes going wide as they find a naked man holding a brown shiny jug. He stares in awe at the three of you just as he drops his jug onto the stone floor below.

What the fuck?

A large drunken half smile makes its way onto his face, "Velcome...to my vome." Cheerfully announces the grey haired naked man, his arms spread wide in greeting, other parts of him also hanging out to your great disgust.

"You're the Mayor of Rinde?" Wonders Geralt as he looks to Jaskier.

Looking anywhere but the man, you throw a hand up before resting it onto your hip, "Our day has already been weird enough, why not meet a naked man in his home to top it all off, huh?" You jest with a nervous laugh, almost certain that this fool has been enchanted. He has to be, right?

The bard makes more wheezing sounds as Geralt's brow furrows in worry, "Uh, it there a mage that lives here?" The naked man turns to something sitting near Jaskier as his face shifts to that of realization.

"Ah. De apple jvuce. She vants some. And she alvays gets...vhat she vants." Whispers the man with a telling nod, oh yes he is without a doubt under some type of spell.

Geralt turns a confused eye to you, "I don't understand. Does he want me to get him the apple juice?" You turn your eyes back to the man as he goes to sit down in a chair, you look back to Geralt with a shrug, "No idea? Let's just find this fucking mage." You grumble as Jaskier tries to nod.

Your Witcher grabs the apples juice and the scruff of the bards baby blue jacket as he goes to walk into the nearest doorway. You turn back to the naked potbellied man only to be greeted with his loud snores, shaking your head you amble after your boys. As you follow closely behind Geralt you look down to notice as a greenish mist cascades out from under the closed door. He quickly pulls it open as more billows out and into the hallway, there's nothing on the other side but an ascending staircase, to the left another closed doorway that seems to have even more of the mist coming from it.

It's strange, you can hear muffled moaning on the other side and the rapid beating of many loud heartbeats. Your questions are quickly answered as the two of them walk into the next open doorway only to stumble upon a massive orgy. You keep behind the wall as you crinkle your nose in disgust at the strong scent of sex, sweat, and perfume in the air, a less than pleased expression crossing your features at the sickening toxins.

One that most likely matches Geralt's if you didn't know any better. You listen closely as he walks through the moaning crowd before he plops Jaskier next to someone, you feel almost sick from lack of food and the smell of this place is just about driving you mad. But you can't face the mage, something just doesn't feel right.

You listen as he speaks to her, your heart falling into your throat as she replies back, that voice, you haven't heard that voice in decades. But how? How could she be here of all places to be? Shaking your thoughts from your mind you eves drop in on their conversation until she begins to give him a hard time about payment, sounding rather too sensual for your liking.

"It's spreading, fix it. And I'll pay you. Whatever the price." Mutters Geralt to the familiar mage as he looks up at her from his spot near the small stairway that she's standing on.

"You'll have to do better then juice." Answers the mage slyly as she contemplates this intriguing new proposition.

"Yennefer." She stops in her tracks, her body tense as realization crosses her masked face, "Don't be difficult." You add as Geralt steps to the side, a confused expression on his face as he looks from you to Yennefer and back to you again.

She takes a step down, a small smirk adoring her ruby red lips as she looks you over, "Now this...is a surprise, how long's it been? I honestly wasn't certain that our paths would ever cross again, I was almost hoping they wouldn't....but alas. Here you are....it's good to see you Y/N." She smiles, studying your bloodshot eyes due to your increase in hunger, she smiles, "You look, famished." Concludes the mage with a tilt of her head.

You slightly shrug, "What a kind way to say I look like I'm halfway into hell....now, save him before he bleeds anymore."

She smiles, looking down at the djinn's bottle cap, "As you command, princess Y/N." Quips Yennefer with a smirk as she looks around the room, "Ragamuffin!" And just like that the mass orgy stops, the participating villagers snapping back to reality in the process. They quickly scramble to cover themselves as Yennefer looks to the two of you, nodding for you three to follow her to where she can heal Jaskier.

——

After clearing out half the pantry and about two small bottles of wine, you're finally satiated and no more half starved. You casually sit on the kitchen table as Geralt stares at the floor in worry for the bard and in deep questioning thought about how the hell you know Yennefer. You could practically cut the tension with a knife, but then much to your relief she comes walking down the steps.

Calmly announcing that Jaskier is in a deep healing sleep, and that you both urgently need a bath, something you wholeheartedly agree on. She hands the both of you some clean clothes as she directs you into the direction of the bathhouse, going elsewhere to give you both some privacy.

You walk into the steamy warm room as Geralt shuts the door, locking it as you start to unlace your top, "Y/N how do you know..."

"Ask me when I'm in the bath, then I'll indulge you for some of my hidden past....dealings." You interrupt with the flash of a smile before throwing off your top and bra. You face away from him as you kick off your boots, quickly shimmying out of your dark pants and undergarments as you stand stark naked by the heated pool.

Turning a quick glance behind you, your eyes catch Geralt's as his golden irises trail down your body, he looks away as an embarrassed grin makes its way onto his handsome face. You smile to yourself, turning to lower your tired vessel into the steaming waters. Sighing in pleasure at how the bath feels blessedly nice after many moons of going without a proper clean.

You close your eyes as your sit peacefully by the waters edge, a smirk playing at your lips as Geralt's muscular body gets in after you. You listen intently as he lets himself enjoy the warmth before some water swishes and he's pressed firmly against your side. An arm draped over your shoulder as his other one leans against the cool stony edge, you can just tell that he's taking you all in even as his mind swirls with questions.

"Y/N? What did you get into before you met me....or I guess what type of trouble? Although I do happen to recall your hatred for wizards and mages alike." Mutters your Witcher as he looks down at your relaxed form, your body but a nude distortion under the clear waters of the pool.

Humming in acknowledgment, you open a scarlet eye to look up at him as you give him a small smile, you can tell that if it wasn't for how curious he is at the moment, he'd without a doubt be turning you into a moaning mess by the waters edge within minutes, "I know Yennefer because...I....well I was a type of courier in Aretuza for many years." His dark brows furrow in thought, not sure what you're getting at so you continue, "The mage academy, I traveled there because I searched for the aid of the mages, you see, I had found a farm girl who was bitten by a werewolf and survived. Her father said he would pay me if I delivered her into their care, double if they cured her."

His hand trails tiny patterns against your arm, "And what did you do?"

"I was able to save her life, we had a week before the next full moon and a mage there had the needed remedy to reverse the lycanthropy. After that, I stayed with her there as she recovered from the whole ordeal...considering the process of taking away ones curse is a painful one." You explain as he laces a hand with your own, invested in your story with every new word coming from your lips, "In my time, I investigated the grounds...I was only two-hundred something then...I wanted to see everything. So I did, in doing so, and yes I'm aware this is going to sound quite unlike myself...but, I made a friend."

He hums, squeezing your arm gently in reply, "Her name was Tissaia de Vries, though that hardly matters now it's been so long, anyways....she appeared to like me well enough, I needed a place to cover myself from the rain, and coin to keep me alive and she knew what I was useful for. I basically became a raven, I would take precious letters, scrolls, or artifacts from Aretuza to wherever needed and vise versa. It was safer that way, no one would dare fuck with a dhampir of all travelers, and the ones who did promptly regretted it...and I got to live in the academy for free. It was perfect."

"When did you meet Yennefer?"

"Sometime after a good many years as a courier slash traveling body guard for high end royals who payed well, Tissaia had just brought her to Aretuza for the first time and while walking near her room I could smell the blood pouring out of her slashed wrists, the fool was trying to kill herself." He glances down at you, more intrigued then ever.

(Cue flashback)

"Check on piglet would you Y/N, I'll be gathering the girls for their first lesson shortly in the greenhouse. Make sure she's up." Says Tissaia as she writes something down on a piece of parchment with her quill.

Setting down some type of golden box onto one of her many counters you turn to her, "The little bird seems hardly mage material if I'm being honest....she's afraid, nervous, and ridiculously troubled...not to mention that hunched back of hers, poor things truly had it rough, now things only feel worse to her. You really know how to pick'em don't you?" You muse with a smirk as she continues to write, "Doesn't matter, everyone starts somewhere. I'll go find her, doubt she's decided to venture very far." You add before walking out the doorway and into the stony halls of the enchanted academy.

You pass by a couple mages here and there as you find your way to the novice's rooms in the lower section of the giant castle, you suddenly stop as you've successfully made it to her door. Not caring enough to knock, you swing it open as you find the sad hunchbacked girl, who's sniffling pathetically in her creaky bed, "Greetings little bird, how was your sleep?" Your voice is lively as you smile down in her direction while more dismal sniffles sound, a small half-frown graces your features as you cross your arms over your chest, "Can't say very well considering you've lost a good amount of blood, which I might add is not ideal for your first day of lessons or in general if we're being honest. You're seriously lucky I wasn't starving when I found you."

She sighs, "I don't want to do any lessons. Just leave me. You should have just let me die...at least I still had control over that." She whispers sadly, her back is still turned to you as you take another step closer.

Lightly chuckling, she turns to you, a harsh glare crossing her puffy features as you scoff, "That's hilarious. You really think that you had control? You didn't have shit little bird....you didn't have control, you were losing it." Her crooked face morphs into a frustrated glare as she thinks over your words, you simply shrug, "Now, you've survived and are very much alive whether you like it or not, it's close to the hour for your first lessons as a real mage in training, important shit for your kind. So get up little bird, it's time to fly."

She sniffles once more before giving you a downcast expression, "I can't."

Touching her shoulder in as comforting of a manner as you can muster you smile kindly down at her, "Listen, you can either let the world fuck you like a cheap whore, or you can become a dragon who does whatever the hell they please. Which is it my crooked friend? Who are you going to become?"

Slowly sitting up onto the edge of her bed, she rubs her nose, the tiniest bit of confidence flashing through her purple eyes, "A dragon." She whispers softly, a small spark of life coursing through her once again.

(End flashback)

"I had no idea, this whole time." Whispers Geralt.

You gently nudge his bare shoulder, "Yeah well you never exactly asked, and I didn't feel it important because it isn't or I guess wasn't....that is, until we happened to meet her this evening. Weirder circumstances have be felled us."

"That is true, its just, you were actual friends with mages." Says Geralt like its the most surprising thing in the world, "Now I understand how you knew Mousesack. I had always wondered about that."

"Hmm. Right, well you see and meet a lot of different people when you can't age. He's gotten greyer since the last time, Yennefer however, she still looks the same."

Geralt squeezes your hand, "And you, look even more radiant."

He looks down at you once more, the flash of something new and intriguing shinning bright in his golden eyes as they trail up and down your body. You smirk, pulling his arm from you as you position yourself in front of him, reaching your arms out to push his thighs apart. He eyes you up the whole time, hardness beginning to grow underneath the waters as you touch his shoulders, lining yourself up against him, ready to claim him completely, by just inches.

You softly kiss him, "Fuck me so that damn witch knows exactly who you belong to." His hands trail up to your sides as he pushes you down on his erect member, a low hum escaping your lips at the contact, his fullness pleasantly stretching your walls from within the steamy waters.

Geralt kisses you once more, another upon your neck as he smiles, "Such a compelling offer..." His words evade him as a moan leaves from his parted lips as you begin to ride him, the pools water swishing as you bounce. The next twenty minutes are spent fucking each other until you're one-hundred percent positive that Yennefer could hear every scream and thrust.

Just as you'd intended.

——

You stand at the foot of Jaskier's extravagant bed as Yennefer watches from the doorframe, Geralt near his side as the bard sleeps peacefully away his troubles and malevolent enchantment. Geralt looks on at him, a distraught expression crossing over his features as Yennefer asks if he doubts her capabilities. He grumbles a truthful no, as his only cause of worry is that if Jaskier never wakes up he'll feel terrible for the unkind words that were said to him before all this mess happened.

She smiles when he grumbles about her actual intentions, she simply walks past you over to her table of spices and herbs, but before she can get to it Geralt makes note of how the sign from the djinn's seal is marked upon the floor with candle wax. Her face falters as she realizes that she's been found out, you had figured something was up the moment you stepped into the room and saw it near the end of the large bed.

Leaning yourself against one of the bed posts, you listen as Geralt declares that he's going to take Jaskier now to prevent Yennefer from summoning the djinn, she smartly explains that if he does, then the spell won't take. So you're all essentially stuck until Jaskier is healed, whenever that may be. She turns to open a tiny bottle of oil on her stand, nonchalantly rubbing it into the skin of her wrist as she magically sets the summoning circle candles on fire, an enchanted burst of wind sending the drapes of the bed flying and flapping into the air, your hair as well.

This doesn't sit right with your Witcher at all, especially when she asks how many wishes he has made, Geralt doesn't give her a direct answer until he lets slip that Jask has only used two wishes. Her face perks up at this news, she gives you a mischievous wink before walking over to Geralt, who looks like something strange is happening to him.

You can smell the scent of lilac and gooseberries wafting throughout the room as she walks closer to him, "Tough to get in your head. You have a strong will, but you can't contend with me." You suddenly feel rather sleepy as Geralt looks down at her in anger, instead of helping him, you sit down on the bed and try your best to listen, "Sorry I couldn't be more direct, I knew you two would fight it. And I do love a good old-fashioned trap." She muses as your eyelids begins to grow heavy, a yawn leaving your mouth as you rest a hand against the soft inviting mattress.

So soft, so tired, how'd you get so sleepy?

Against everything in you that's screaming for you to stay awake to stop Yennefer, you feel utterly relaxed, so much so that instead of helping Geralt to stay conscious. You lay yourself on the giant bed, you blearily stare up at the dark wooden ceiling in false content, everything feels so warm and lovely. The room swirls and shifts as you tiredly close your crimson eyes, the sweet enchanting scent of lilac lulling you into a deep and blissful slumber.

Breathing in sharply, you stretch in the soft bed as your eyes finally open to the morning light pouring out from the two giant glass windows on either side of the bed. You're laying on your left side so as you focus better, you're surprised to find Jaskier laying on his back next to you. This is definitely not Geralt, so how did you get here?

Oh right, Yennefer.

Quickly sitting yourself up you look to the end of the bed where Yennefer is sitting, topless as she rubs something onto her bare abdomen. Your brows furrow as you stare at her back, "What the fuck are you doing?" You question, no heat really in your words, you're honestly more confused then anything at the moment.

Without looking at you she starts, "I need the djinn Y/N, this is how I intend to take it."

Sliding off of the side of the bed, you walk around so that you can lean against the wooden beam to see what she's getting at, "That's rather vague Yenn, but if I was to make an educated guess from my clever sleuthing, or just general understanding of how that clapping monkey of a brain works. I'd say you're trying to summon the fucker so your last wish may be for a child in your womb. Nice tattoo by the way, very original." You nod to the dark colored insignia on her lower abdomen in the shape of the female reproductive system, who would have guessed she was such as artist.

She glances at you for a second, anger slowly building in her chest, "How very clever indeed Y/N, even in old age does your mind stay as sharp as a tack." Her tone is bluntly sarcastic, but you stay unaltered by her jest.

You tilt your head at her, "Djinn's are finicky creatures, I wouldn't try and do exactly what I think you're going to do."

"And what is that?" She snaps, her eyes focused ahead.

Rolling your eyes you let out an irritated huff of air, "Become the djinn's physical vessel, its suicide...and you know it. Even the most powerful of mages cannot harness the true strength and imperium of the djinn, what would compel you to attempt this? What will having a child gain you, in this world of all places?"

She doesn't have time to answer as Jaskier suddenly wakes up with a start, he pushes himself up into a sitting position as he squints from the bright light of the room, "Oh, uh...where am I?" His eyes quickly land on the bare back of Yennefer since he can't see you from behind the thick pulled back curtain, "Whew! Uh...Right. Good. Good. Uh...Not to be untoward or anything...but, did we...you know, do the uh..." She slowly covers her bare torso and chest with her thin golden white top as she turns around to face him and crawl upon the bed, "Ooh, Go...Oh, no! No! Definitely did not butter that biscuit." Rushes Jaskier as he scrambles to get off, you watch as he shuffles past you, his eyes going wide in puzzlement, "Oh hello there Y/N, nice morning huh....oh shit, uh...look lady I'm so sorry, but I've just remembered I left my...cat, on the, stove."

He walks backwards as Yennefer continues her stalk towards him, "I...I uh, we really must going, isn't that right Y/N!" He exclaims as he quickly bends down to put on his shoes. You're not entirely sure how to handle this situation if you're being totally honest, you're not exactly one to stop people from living their dreams, especially if it's Yennefer doing something stupid and you also rather enjoy watching Jaskier piss himself.

Her eyes darken, "Express your deepest desires and you can be on your way." She asserts as her hand picks up a knife from her drawer.

"Well, my deepest desires are currently satisfied, thank you so much." Sputters Jaskier as Yennefer uses her power to slam him against the nearby wall.

"Is this really necessary?" You remark as she focuses on the bard.

"Yes." Is all that comes forth from her lips as she goes to threaten Jaskier, "How's your throat?"

"Uh.." Jaskier gives you a nervous glance before snapping back to the approaching mage.

Smiling wickedly she takes another step closer, "Perhaps you should try some scales."

Jaskier flinches back as the mage grabs a hold of him, "Uh...Toss a coin to your Witcher. O, valley of...penis. Oh, God." He stammers as Yenn grabs his junk in one hand and presses a knife against his throat in the other.

"If you want to keep all you have...make a damn wish." She threatens with malice, Jaskier breathing heavily in fear, he doesn't say anything as he throws pleading eyes your way. Scoffing she lets go of him and instead walks over to kneel down at the circle of burning candles, "Make a damn wish! Do it now!" Shouts the insane witch, an enchanted breeze finding its way into the room even with lack of opened windows.

Jaskier slides down the wall as he looks to you who only shrugs in reply, this is his problem now. He shifts his attention back to the mage, "I don't...I don't know! I wish very badly to leave this place forever!" Cries Jaskier as Yennefer gasps, her breathing going deeper as she begins to chant something in Eldar. The room instantly fills with winds, papers flying across the room at the intrusion.

Holding tightly onto the shaking wooden beam of the bed you glance from Jaskier to Yennefer, "You're fucking crazy Yennefer! This is madness!" She all but ignores you, her chanting getting louder and louder as the magical winds send your hair flying in all directions, "Fuck. Jaskier get out of here while you can, the djinn is close I can feel it!" You scream above the noise, he quickly nods before jumping to his feet and racing out the opened door.

You turn a worried face to Yennefer, "I'm not sure about you but, lets not invite a fucking genie into this place! You don't even own it! And stop speaking Eldar before this dark fucker possesses you!" She doesn't even give you a glance, as right on cue does the black wispy shadow of the djinn seep into the room and hastily flow into her body.

Your eyes go wide at the abrupt turn of events, "Fine. I'll save you myself, fucking mages." You mutter before taking a step forward, in an instant her eyes shoot open to reveal a sickly pink covering the entirety of her whole eyeball, she shoots up a hand and before you have a chance to do anything. Your whole body is thrown back into the hard glass window and straight out into the misty morning air as you free fall towards the grassy courtyard below.

Taken off guard but anticipating the nearing ground, you quickly stop yourself and levitate mere inches from the earth. You lower your feet onto the grass, an annoyed sigh leaving your lips as you pick some glass shards out of your arms and pant legs. You stand in the morning light beginning to rethink your life choices when pained screams are heard from up above, it's Yennefer, she's screaming at Geralt to make a wish so she can finally have all the power. Clearly things are not going well by any means, so instead of leaving her to an inevitable demise like how you'd planned, you fly back up to the broken window and right into the windy chaotic mess of a room.

A pillow nearly misses your head when you arrive just as the djinn screams for Geralt to use his wish on anything that he so desires. You jog over to the circle of candles as his golden eyes find yours, "Just make a fucking wish!" You shout before the djinn compels Yennefer to throw you against the far wall in an act of mindless rage. You're back hits the wood first, your head cracking against it with a thud, ouch.

You fall to the messy floor in a daze, a single trickle of blood falling down the side of your temple as you stand to slowly regain your bearings once again. Although when you look up, it appears that Geralt has spoken his last wish, the wind has dissipated and Yennefer seems to have come around to her mostly normal self.

Breathing heavily from her spot on the floor she turns to you, "Is it over?" She whispers tiredly, "Is it done?"

Sensing movement from the attic you zero in on the noise, "Oh fuck it's still here!" You bellow before the ceiling crumbles and cracks open, wood, stone, metal and whatever else bursting through as the djinn destroys the roof. Your eyes go wide as a large piece of wood breaks away, heading straight for Yennefer, more chunks racing down for Geralt as well.

In a blur you're able to save them both from a suddenly violent death as you rest them against the floor away from the destructive mess happening near the bed and windows. Geralt sits up and scoots back as you rest your old friend upon a soft red and gold pillow, she's asleep from the quick rushed movement you'd just subjected her to. You're going to have to remember that not everyone is very fond of whiplash.

Leaning over her, you lightly shake her arm, "Yennefer. It's me, Y/N. Wake up idiot." Her lavender irises slowly flicker open as you sit back, a sigh of relief leaving your parted lips as you turn to make sure Geralt's alright. He's already asleep on another large blue pillow, so much for the mighty Witcher.

"Wha...what?" She mumbles softly before her eyes open wider in realization, "Y/N why did you stop me! I nearly had it, I was so close and you ruined it, why di..."

Your brows furrow in confusion at her needless outburst, "You had shit, I saved your life! You ungrateful..."

"Oh, well I saved that fucking bard's life and your precious Witcher's...but now he's let the djinn escape! Who knows what havoc it'll wreak now that it has no vessel at all?" She fumes, glaring at you angrily.

Rolling your scarlet eyes at her frustration, you sit down on the carpeted floor, "No more havoc then you. Djinns are only dark creatures when held captive."

"How can you be so sure?" She snaps.

You raise an eyebrow at her, "When did you last feel happy when you felt trapped? And besides, if you were going to portal us to safety, you could have taken us out of this shit town!"

Yennefer huffs in annoyance, "A fine critique if you could make a portal yourself. Or better yet, turn into a giant bat and fly us away from here...and it wasn't a shit town, it was fine till you and your two incompetent imbeciles came along. I had a plan!" She exclaims pointedly as you begin to chuckle.

Her glare hard pressed as you smirk, "And that was going rather swimmingly!"

"It was!" Snaps Yennefer, "Like a drowning fish." She looks to you with angry eyes, her fire slowly brimming as a smile breaks out onto her face.

"More like a dead and dry one." You muse with a laugh as you frown, "oh gods look at us, how'd we ever get here huh....from Aretuza to the destroyed aftermath of a fucking djinn."

Her face falters for a moment as she thinks over your words, "Who can say? Bad choices perhaps, maybe we do it to ourselves for the fun of it."

"Maybe you're just a thrill seeker." She gives you a half offended glare as you simply stick your tongue out at her, "But we've survived nonetheless, I'll take that as a promising sign for the time being."

"I guess that means something then." She looks down to her hands, a downcast expression crossing her sweaty features, "I am glad to have seen you again in all honesty, it's just been a very long while since I've seen anyone familiar." Admits the violet eyed mage.

You shrug, "Or tolerable?"

"Yes, or tolerable. My life at court was...almost all for naught, I feel like I didn't do anything worth my time there....even got a knife through my shoulder when the Queen I was accompanying was killed by an assassin. I was done." She explains with a frown, you can tell something else about it bothers her, but you'd rather not press your curiosity.

"The things I miss when I'm elsewhere. Who needs a life at court anyway...I on the other hand was never meant to rule a castle. Perhaps it's a good thing my mother won't ever age, or die. And I have my freedom to roam the Continent as I please, a free woman bound by nothing but what I choose, and so I have." She gives you a downcast smile.

"I almost envy you Y/N. Truly. Now if only I could know what your Witcher happened to have wished for, but I'd rather not wake him. He almost looks peaceful in a sleeping bear kind of way." She adds while looking behind you at a snoozing Geralt, his chest slowly rising and falling with each soft breath.

You turn a loving gaze upon him, "Guess he does, doesn't he? Like a grimy sweaty mess of a man...my big grumpy bear." You muse, your eyes studying his face lovingly as a sudden idea comes to mind, you turn back to Yennefer with a mischievous smirk, "You know what, the bards recently single..."

Her face is almost a grimace as she shakes her head, "I'll take my chances elsewhere. But thank you Y/N, always watching out for me, usually pretty shit advice most often." She jests while rising to her feet, "I must be off before the town comes for my head, see you around...hopefully under better circumstances and with less destructive endings." You stand to your full height, a couple inches taller then Yennefer.

You both lean in for a parting hug, "Goodbye, Yennefer." Letting go of one another she hands you a small smile, "Try not to get killed Y/N."

"You. Try not to get involved with, well, you know." She nods before turning around and opening up a portal to some sunny ocean side market, you watch as she walks through it without another word, and off into the unknown she goes.

Yawning and feeling slightly off put from the whole ordeal, you turn to look over at Geralt, he's still out cold on the giant fluffy blue pillow. You smile adoringly at him before scooting yourself over, finally letting yourself rest near his peacefully sleeping form as you wait patiently for him to wake.

Tagged: @notahappytree @ashleyforeverareject @sokkasdarling @kmuir1@haleypearce @diegos-butt (@auds24 sorry idk why ur name won’t work)

#the witcher #the witcher x reader #the witcher x you #the witcher x y/n #geralt of rivia #geralt x reader #geralt x you #geralt of rivia x reader #geralt of rivia x you #of monsters and men fic

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