#also i finished my thesis!

[basquerville]

Hi! All the love on the poster made me rly happy so here, have a phone screen background as a treat! <3

#fantasy high #fhjy #dimension 20 #dimension 20 fantasy high #d20 #this is late i know #the first ep made me so confused #also i finished my thesis! #would love a nice reply if you use it!

[hychlorions]

i mean he'd never but you know. could be good, could be good ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#kristoph gavin #klapollo #klavier gavin #apollo justice #.png #YES THIS IS KLAPOLLO!!!!!!!!!!! god. i'd die if it wasn't. wdym by 'we' apollo. if it wasn't klapollo. #this is one of those times where 'it would be funny' won over 'it has to be in character' #also i finished 75% of my thesis paper and the first thing i draw is??? kristoph???? i'm gonna cut my hand off fr fr

[flowercrowngods]

thinking thoughts™️ again about another fic that’s way too real, and pictured eddie giving steve that understanding smile, saying , “yeah, changing the world gets a little old, doesn’t it, when the cost is your sanity.”

and steve mirrors him with a slight nod, “and when you realise you just wanna live your own life, not change everyone else’s. i feel like people shouldn’t need to take this long to realise that.”

“it’s the system, steve-o.” eddie fishes a cigarette from the pack, offering one to steve, who shakes his head with a polite smile. “people living their lives. what a rebellious thing to ask.”

steve watches him for a second, and it’s like he’s piecing together some kind of picture around him. eddie lets him; somehow he trusts steve not to get it all wrong. “you going to rehab to stick it to the man, hm?”

eddie takes a long drag of his cigarette, his eyes far away as he lets the smoke fall from his lips. “no. ‘m going to rehab because it took me too long to realise that i just wanna live my life. and because i think… because i think i’m actually ready. sounds so dumb, doesn’t it?”

“nah.” and steve sounds like he means it. eddie gets the feeling that he does. steve strikes him as someone who’s too genuine for his own good. maybe that’s his own way to keep changing the world even without that job. “sounds like you actually know what you’re talking about. that’s a good quality, you know? to get better. wanting to get better. for no one but yourself.”

“now you’re the one who sounds like he knows what he’s talking about.”

steve huffs and stuffs his hands into his pocket. “nah, man. i’m just the homeless guy who’s hot for your apartment and wants you out of the house asap so i can start my life. with your cat.”

eddie laughs as he snuffs out the cigarette beneath his boot. the keys dangle in his hand as he holds them out to steve, who looks at him, surprised.

“well, she’s yours, then.”

#i shan’t speak about this any more bc i gotta do a social experiment of actually finishing a fic before posting it 🤡 #and also it won’t even go that hard. but also might turn into the realest thing i’ll have ever written so maybe idk #steddie #steddie fic #she’s been in my head all day i need to research my thesis but i’m thinking about these two and the realities of them and ugh #someone save me from ANOTHER wip

[communistkenobi]

I don’t like when people ask how many books you plan to read/have read this year one because I think that’s a weird relationship to have to books and two because I think even reading a chapter or a portion of something is valuable. this is especially true with non-fiction but even with fiction I think any amount you read, even if you don’t read the entire thing, is not a failure or ‘incomplete’

#I read basically exclusively non fiction and every page I read is beneficial like I’m always learning something #like my relationship to reading is often extractive and utilitarian because of school and research #but that extractive process doesn’t require reading the whole text like 99.9% of the time #I’ve only read a third of Orientalism for example but like I have a good grasp of Said’s core arguments and concepts #and like part of how I finished authoritarian personality (a 1000 page book) was by skipping & skimming sections #like the whole is not always more valuable than its components #and also like ‘I read this book to complete it’ is not an insincere way to engage with a text but I feel like it’s limiting #if that’s your primary approach to reading. Like you read a book just to say you read it #& also more petty but I think that if your argument or thesis only works if people read 100% of your book then you’re doing a poor job #of getting your point across #again obviously it’s valuable to read and process whole complete texts not dismissing that but like #I don’t find a lot of inherent value in reading a book just to complete it u know

[jamieedlund]

March sketch dump 🧙‍♂️✨

#the dragon prince #aaravos #my art #callum #tdp #doodle #callum: when you're a simp for your master but you're also so pretty that you can literally start wars. #I got sick again #so besides slaving away on my thesis #all I had were more brainrot doodles #all of these are glued from different brainrots #I don't think I have the energy for fully rendered illustrations any time soon #but I'll do my best! #I want to post more w/out worrying about the notes #i know i sound like a broken record #but it's pretty discouraging seeing my notes on tumblr lately #hopefully these shows that I love them both very much despite not posting as often 💗 #I'm on the last stretch of my thesis so all of my rendering effort is going to that instead. #hopefully I will finish soon in around june #that's all for now! #rambling in tags feels nice. #I hope everyone is well! #thank you for reading

[thegoodthebadandtheart]

another year, still drawing people doing things to each other. you might or might not know this but i started working as a doctor this year and i'm happy/proud it hasn't kept me from still drawing my silly little fictional guys. it's not much but it's honest work.

thank you to everyone who's liking, reblogging and commenting on my art! it means everything to me <3

#yia* #a #i guess that sums up most of what happened this year already #i think everyone knows how bad the healthcare system is for workers but - it really is bad out here lol stay safe yall #so many sickly yellows in my picks for this year... what does it all mean #the doctor thing encompasses a bunch of stuff like. being a friggin doctor. doing ENT and liking it like i hoped i would. doing surgeries #earning proper money from a proper full-time job for the first time in my life. doing 24h shifts and being on call. #still haven't finished my thesis and honestly don't know how i'm supposed to with the time i have w/o killing every bit of joy in my life #but thus are the mysteries of existence #the girl with social anxiety who didn't understand starting i.v.s - she's come a long way and i rarely take the time to be proud of it. #also i'm proud of my gay fanart. equally as much i think. so here's YOUR reminder to be proud of YOU.

[noisytenant]

The thing that I really love about the counselor scene is how, like most other things in Petscop, it walks an unplaceable line where you can't really determine if it's a "good" development or not.

Petscop (the story) strips the sense of safety and comfort from every major locus of stability available to a child. Home, family, and school become charged, but that's honestly not so surprising for those familiar with abuse. But then it erodes the world of games and play, where you aren't spared even in your "escape"--and systems that exist to get you help, like counseling or adoption, seem distorted, sinister, clandestine.

I do ultimately read the ending of Petscop as an optimistic one, where Care is adopted by Lina (and Belle) and is allowed to become Paul, who comes to confront and accept his past and maybe move forward. But I think it's critical that the adoption is beat-for-beat quite similar to the initial kidnapping, that there's this sense of greater machinations at work whose motivations can't be understood (the Credits ending left a real pit in my stomach; And what does it imply if Lina is the "Boss"?). We don't really get to know what Paul thinks or feels about all this, just that he kept playing until the end (and potentially against his will).

I don't think any other story has really captured how trauma makes it difficult to discern safety from danger in such an overt way. I haven't really experienced a story where you have to simultaneously hold both the best and worst interpretation of an event in equal measure. I think that's what makes Petscop such an exceptional story to me.

So that's the interesting thing about the counselor's affirmations. On one hand, after abuse that seems to have fixated on asserting one reality onto Care--that she was Lina reborn, and that she needs to be turned back--The idea of having one's own sense of reality affirmed is a breath of fresh air.

But at the same time, it places a lot of pressure to resolve ambiguities, to have answers for things that aren't fully known or are yet to be understood. If the whole world will move to make your story true, are you going to spin a happy tale, or a sad one? Is Care's escape a victory, or just a shifting from one kind of abuse to another?

The game obsessively records the player(s) arguably to extract information and become a source of truth. Where IS the windmill? Where is Lina's grave? What happened between Care's escape and her arrival at the house? The game seeks a certain reality, but codifies ambiguities and half-truths--explicitly requiring the player to hold multiple realities at the same time.

The player in the counselor's room is suddenly tasked with resolving these ambiguities, not necessarily through telling their story, but through living their life with the expectation of having it affirmed.

Yet by bestowing the player with the ability to assert their reality, the counselor actually reinforces the power of greater forces to enforce and manifest that reality. Even if it's wielded to positive ends, it's a terrifying notion.

You're free to do anything you please, but can you really bear to, knowing that something out there can make whatever you believe come true?

#I never did finish my thesis about petscop and information control/the construction of reality and its rship to trauma and abuse #but someday perhaps #indexed post #petscop #petscop spoilers #Also the Counselor song is one of my favorite on the ost

[2hoothoots]

i was having a chuckle to myself last night about Gristol, and how his plans are basically:

Restore Ford Cruller's memory

Find Maligula

???

Profit

but then... of course they are, right? this is Gristol we're talking about. Fatherland Follies drives home again and again that he's still operating on a child's logic, a warped and reductive version of the world that he never bothered to grow out of. both of his memory vaults center on the images of his childhood, this idealized version of the past that he clings to no matter what. and that's still how he remembers Maligula, too - as this saviour figure, who rushes in to help him when he's in trouble.

[ID: Two slides from Gristol's memory vault, Glory to Grulovia! Left: Gristol clings to Maligula's back as she summons waves to sweep away his assailants. Right: Gristol and Maligula waving from a balcony as the people cheer. Gzar Theodore brandishes a dagger in the background.]

like so much else, Maligula represents a return to this idyllic childhood - to the peace and simplicity of his youth, when he was free from worries and responsibilities. in his mind, he doesn't need to make any further plans - once Maligula's back, everything will go back to normal. Maligula will make everything better.

...is what i thought, but then i remembered this line:

[Screenshot source. ID: Gristol, in Truman's body, bows on his hands and knees in front of the newly-awaked Maligula. The caption reads: "Yes, High Priestess! I am here to correct the mistakes made by my father!"]

and that's kind of interesting, right?

to be clear: this happens directly after Maligula sees Helmut-in-Gristol's-body, and recognises him. her line before this is:

"Little Gzesaravich! Have you come to pay for your father's sins?"

my first thought was that Gristol hadn't expected to still be in Truman's body by the time he managed to find Maligula, and this was him trying to placate her and buy some time until he could explain the situation. but watching the cutscene back, that's clearly not what's happening here. Gristol is answering as himself, and his response of throwing himself to his knees before her is, as far as i can tell, genuine.

so what is going on here?

in Fatherland Follies, there's this line in the ride narration that stuck out to me:

"Why didn't the Gzar help Maligula in her time of need? No one knows, but historians agree - it is Gzar Theodore's biggest failure."

other lines mention Gzar Theodore's "mistake", and it's wording Gristol himself echoes in the screencap above. evidently, he believes that his father abandoned Maligula, leaving her to her fate at the hands of the Psychonauts, and it was that mistake that lead to them being driven out of the country - that mistake which he seeks to correct. maybe he even feels like he has a debt to repay to her for his family turning their backs on her all those years ago.

the 'High Priestess' thing, though - that's kinda weird, and threw me for a loop the first time i played the game. it took me until my second playthrough to connect the dots, and remember how the room in the Lady Luctopus - Gristol's room - was full of Delugionist scribblings and symbols.

[Screenshot source. ID: left, the walls of the hidden backroom in Gristol's hotel suite, covered in scrawlings of eyeballs and Maligula's name. Right, the pinboard from the hidden backroom. On its surface are photographs and newspaper clippings connected by pieces of string.]

i mean, look at this stuff! he had a whole conspiracy board and everything!

we learn very little about the Delugionists and their beliefs as a whole during the game, but i think drawing the connection here suggests two important things. one: that Gristol was in deep with this stuff. i don't know how he linked up with them - maybe via old family connections, or just good old-fashioned digging (we know he's skilled at worming his way into peoples' good graces, after all) - but it seems likely that he's begun to internalise their ideas, maybe even warping his own memories of events. and two: the Delugionists themselves are, if you'll pardon the pun, pretty far off the deep end.

like... i understand why PN2 didn't go heavy on the "mass-murderer cult worship" aspect of things, in the end, but man this is such a tantalising glimpse into the wider mythos around Maligula. Gristol is proud and haughty and thinks himself above everyone else; the fact that his first reaction seeing Maligula is to throw himself to the ground at her feet says so much about the way he's come to see her. he's not just trying to bring back Maligula, his childhood bodyguard. he's trying to bring back Maligula, the High Priestess of the deluge, the semi-mythical figure whose supporters believe even death couldn't stop. he doesn't even flinch at the way she confronts him, and maybe it's because he's bought in so completely to this deified figurehead, this idea of Maligula; more a living force of nature than a person. and it all comes back to the same place: an abdication of responsibility, not just to the person who protected him when he was little but to this avatar of floods and destruction. Maligula will make everything better.

i'd write more about my thoughts on the Delugionists but that'd be taking a hard turn into speculation, and this is already kind of long and rambling so i'd better end it here. but what an unexpected and evocative line, right? it's some of the only stuff we have to go off of regarding the Delugionists as a whole, but i think it does such a good job of hinting at the wider story - at teasing another layer to the mythos surrounding Maligula, one whose ripples we see throughout the game but which never quite breaches the surface.

#psychonauts #psychonauts 2 #bored waiting at the airport so you get more psychonauts meta from me #the delugionists have been on my mind recently (because i Might Just have an upcoming au lorepost about them and also cults are fun) #so tossing my thoughts up here because people seemed to like the last few times i did this #and also it's my blog and i like to talk :) #related vent i HATE drafting posts in the tumblr editor because if you hit crtl+z to try and undo a formatting change #it deletes like half the post you just typed out #(yes i did it again while i was writing this. yes i'm still salty. why do i even bother) #what else... this is just becoming a disconnected thoughts dump #but if you've seen my posts you knew what you were signing up for when you hit the button to expand the post tags #there's new art coming hopefully this weekend if i can get it finished! it's more mermaid au designs #i'm two and a half weeks late for mermay but it turns out starting a new job and moving house doesn't leave you with a ton of free time #but that's okay it's never too late for mermaids #omg and artfight's coming up next month too! geez #i gotta make refsheets for the fsau trio because i would LOVE to get art of them #and this year i don't have a thesis to crunch on so i might actually have time to participate #oh and then in august i'm having top surgery! will make a proper announcement post for it at some point #i say 'announcement'. it's just a life update but it's nice to share #i'm super excited about it :) #i might end up blogging the process and recovery but obviously it won't be going here lol. i'd put it on my main #idk if anyone would find it useful but when i first started looking into surgery i had like very little idea about the whole process #and it's only through joining a bunch of online support/discussion groups that i managed to find more info and resources #so hey it might be useful to share? we'll see #our flight doesn't land for another fifty minutes so now i'm just writing in the tags because i'm bored #alright i'll proofread this and then post it when i land and have signal again. peace out yall hope your pride month is going well

[cadaverkeys]

The fact that I'm 23 and I havent completed a master work yet is driving me crazy. I need to do a gesamtkunstwerk NOW or my brain will start leaking out of my nose.

#rambles #i still havent released my undergrad film (it was compiled for the sake of grading and not watchability) #so a lot of work is still being done in small incraments to fix the errors in timing and pacing that we couldn't handle at the time :( #other than that my conceptual graphic novel is meant to be finished in. augh. half a year from now. #and thats my literal master work (in the sense that its my masters thesis piece) #and it might also never be publically available because of its delicate features #and the liklihood of a high manufacture cost #aaugghhhhhhhhhh being an artist is hard #and neverminding actually trying to net a job with exclusively 2d skills is IMPOSSIBLE #okay. sits. im done I'll not be a whiny bitch. #ill be normal and strong #i knowww that art is competitve and hard and it's never going to be easy to succeed in a creative field #im working on getting my footing i promise

[darcyolsson]

the update you've all been waiting for.....................

i did, in fact, get dumped yesterday

#a gut feeling is always right unfortunately #and i also have to more or less finish up my entire thesis today it's going to be a rough one girls #personal

[sukugo]

baby boy u are my everything

16:9 ver so u can use it as a wallpaper :D

#i present to u: what got me to finish my thesis #and im saying that completely seriously #i was having such a hard time focusing on it #i looked for tips and tried the pomodoro method (which didn't fucking work) #so i make this and put it as my laptop wallpaper and BOOM i finish my shit in a week #fskjdfhdsfsdf i hate my brain #sw #anakin #f.txt #but also anakin’s power fr 😔🙌

[fatsmyname]

thought i'd share some images from my senior thesis! here's an illustration of my comic characters and some previews from the comic as well! my thesis is a middle grade graphic novel featuring a trio of environmentally conscious losers and a halloween obsessed alien :)

characters from left to right: zed (they/them), mimi (she/her), greenie (he/him), thomas (he/him)

#my art #senior thesis #graphic novel #also greenie is in fact autistic #and hes very epic for it #im halfway finished with the comic and i plan to get physical copies! #if anyone is interested in buying ill be putting up links for digital and physical purchases in the next coming months :)

[hyphen-8-it]

I've already had the thought a couple episodes ago but I'm considering more and more seriously to upend my existing plans and write my Bachelor's thesis about Burrow's End... I'm doing an English Lit degree tho so I'd probably have to frame it in the context of it being an adaptation/reimagining/whatever of Watership Down to justify that, but I don't think that's outside of the realm of possibility.

Especially with the recent episodes the skill of Aabria and her players at crafting this story has just become so apparent and I already have a Google Doc with notes on Last Bast, so I'm kinda already doing the work.. What's holding me back tho is the fear that I'll taint my deep enjoyment of this series with the very real stress and pressure of academic writing. I really don't want to look at this very cool piece of art like it's work, but it has been absolutely blasting my brain to pieces lately. Much to think about.

#Also it's not even finished releasing yet but that's a small concern. I have a lot of faith here. #And I have to write a thesis anyway (it's the only part of my degree that I still have to do!) so it might as well be about this I guess! #my other idea is also kind of about adaptation too so there seems to be a pattern here #burrow's end #d20 burrow's end #burrows end

[solstheimtxt]

Hi!!! Thank you so much for the tag @bialanwake!!! <3

OC's (+SHIPS) as tarot pairs

(on uquiz here)

Max + Felix (Two of Cups & The Star)

your romance is a wish granted, finally, finally they're here. finally *it's* here! the time where you don't have to feel lonely anymore - you'll never feel that way ever again. laughter, joy, sweetness, kisses - be at ease. all of these are things you have found someone to share with. your love is a dreamy fantasy of love and devotion and miracles. at first, your chest gets too tight when they're around - until they become as natural as the air in your lungs

---

Im too lazy to tag im sorry lol if you wanna do it, do it 👁👁🔪

#the outer worlds #millsoto #i did a couple different ones for them and this was the closest one i think #i don't think they fall instantly #but i do think that once they do they fill a void in each other's life especially after each respective quest #vicar max #felix millstone #also look at those fucking hands i think i did pretty nice #even if these arent finished #like i think they would be annoying but also just #idk #theyd be a really strong team #like theyd bicker and bitch but theyd still love each other #like 2 old folks #idk how to explain but thats my millsoto thesis lmao

[gender-trash]

blinged out and going to the ~mall~ with @combat-epistemologist so they can buy more Perfectly Generic Clothes With No Attributes. and also jamba juice

lapel pin is a gay pride x-wing from @ashleyrguillory!! rings are: 2 puzzle rings from the puzzlering.co guy (EDIT: sorry for fucking up the url like three times his name is norman greene and i have bought his rings from both the norcal ren faire and the dickens faire in daly city), 1 snake ring from norcal ren faire, and my mit class ring. the bracelet is a leatherman tread and my little Ring Of Keys moment includes a keychain level, a leatherman squirt (the edition they discontinued ;-; with the wire strippers ;-;), an ubuntu 18.04 live usb (you never know when you'll need an emergency ubuntu), and a vintage key i got from an infosec researcher guy i met at a robotics friend's party. he was like, yeah i collect old keys and locks so now my friends are constantly giving me weird old keys and i have a ring of like 200 of them. do you want some. and if i've learned something from children's fantasy literature it's that if someone offers you a weird old key you say thank you and accept the quest hook

#keys guy also gave me like 3 dozen eggs #from the Too Many Backyard Chickens #the trashcan speaks #posting my fit as if i have any idea how to take a good selfie #shopping w combat-epistemologist is so funny bc they like. care about what shit is in style for some reason #and im like. This. #not pictured: my boots from thursday boots that i bought myself as a Finished My Fucking Thesis present with the purple tumblr shoelaces

[fifteenminutes-if]

quickly logging in to wish everyone a very happy (and very gay) pride month!!!! including those that are loud and proud and those that have yet to come out or are on a journey to discover themselves <3

#happy pride!! #mwah #i have also not forgotten about this story or silver grove lol #just grinding out a final paper for my thesis #i see the finish line on the horizon