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queenofcoquette · 10 months

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how i started to feel pretty

hey loves! i’ve struggled with feeling insecure over my looks, but recently i’ve made changes that have helped me be less insecure. little improvements with my lifestyle and mindset have already made a big difference. first i’m going to talk about my insecurities, then what i did and then general tips.

my insecurities:

hyperpigmentation. i have bad undereye bags due to genetics that landed my family to call all of our eyes “raccoon eyes.” then redness above my eyelids, then darkness above my upper lip no matter how much i shaved.

facial asymmetry. we all have it, but i felt so bad anytime i took a selfie and i couldn’t bear to take any photos of myself.

body dysmorphia. this one is weird. i don’t view my body the way others do, and honestly the way i view it changes all the time.

changes i’ve made:

first i started doing things that didn’t help. they were temporary solutions that did nothing. i used concealer and powder for the hyperpigmentation- but it looked cakey and a little ashy-kinda cuz i wasn’t using a color corrector. for my body i did these “abs in 2 weeks!” challenges during covid, and was restrictive, which is the worst thing you can do for yourself.

for my skin:

i started using the glycolic acid serum by the ordinary. this stuff is life changing! i’ve been going makeup free on my skin lately and my skin tone has gotten so much more even. plus it’s affordable and it’s a giant bottle.

for my face:

i started doing face massages for muscle tension

i also realized that my facial asymmetry is 1) normal (we all have it to a certain extent and 2) it’s probably not as bad as i think it is.

for my body:

i’ve started to focus more on health than appearances, because that my view of my body is distorted. i don’t see it like other people do, so i need to prioritize my health. i started eating MORE- more foods that are healthy, more fruits and vegtables. instead of restricing i allowed myself to have more.

i developed a pilates plan that focused on building strength, and incorporated a little bit of weights. now that i play sports i’ve put an emphasis on strength which has actually helped me get more toned.

journaling. i began to write down about my feelings- the way i view other people vs. the way i view myself. it made me realize how social media gave me an unrealistic image, and how i wasn’t viewing myself the way i really am.

advice:

what are you insecure about? the first step is just writing down your biggest insecurities- aka why don’t you feel beautiful? what made you feel this way? no one is born feeling ugly- we’re all taught to feel this way, whether it’s comments that have been made to us or others.

find people with similar stories. this helped me in the past, watching videos about people who had the same insecurities as me, it opened my eyes to how harshly i treat myself.

get to the root of it. for my skin i realized that covering up my hyperpigmentation with makeup wouldn’t solve the problem, so i put an emphasis on incorporating things into my skincare routine that could solve the problem, without makeup!

think in the long-term. think about what’s healthy for you, and the most natural way of doing so. for example, when it came to my body i had to think about what’s healthy for me overall, not a quick fix. quick fixes aren’t attainable!

prioritize mental and physical health. i think we should all embrace our natural beauty by focusing on our skincare and the health of our hair. additionally, mental health is equally important, especially when it comes to body image.

positive thinking. a lot of times we tend to vocalize our negative thoughts, ive heard ppl make horrible comments about their bodies and things like that. first of all, stop saying those things out loud- you’re only reaffirming them in your head, and furthering the bad feeling. when you get horrible thoughts about yourself, try to stop them and replace them with good ones. even if you don’t believe it at first, you soon will.

it sometimes takes a while for beautiful people to realize how gorgeous they are. i had friends who i thought were some of the prettiest girls in the world, but they didn’t even realize it. i bet there’s so many people in your life who look at you and see the beauty in you that you don’t see in yourself. just stay healthy and keep positive thoughts, and i hope in time you’ll see your inner and outer beauty.

#that girl #that girl 2023 #self improvement #pink pilates princess #queenofcoquette

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paper-mario-wiki · 1 year

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I don't know if you've talked about this elsewhere already but was the break from streaming intentional and/or are you planning on returning to streaming some time in the foreseeable future? no pressure, I just miss your silly antics :o)

felt very burnt out from being someone who people are always lookin at all the time mostly! (and also a lot more reasons)

got a new job that pays just as well as streaming (which is enough to pay for rent in seattle with roommates, buy food for myself, and sometimes buy yet another japanese gamecube via online auction), and have been enjoying the feeling of not relying on anonymous teenagers and young adults who are just as poor as me on the internet for my income. It's something i was extremely grateful for, but it's not only a very infirm way to generate revenue on a reliable basis, but also i always felt an ever-present sense of guilt for it. like, instilling within other people who i know are in my tax bracket (one that is below the poverty line) the idea of "hey if you dont tip me for doing this free service, the quality of which is damningly subjective, I will be homeless. but no pressure haha" is something that i was never able to shake.

also like. performing is quite draining for me! the way i portray myself in my streams is EXTREMELY extroverted while, in my personal life, i prefer to spend 8 to 14 of my waking hours every day by myself in my room with my dog. i like the quiet, and i feel at peace most when i am not being perceived by other people.

lastly, i really dislike having inordinate levels of social power. for a several reasons. like, SEVERAL reasons. this is the longest section of this post.

8 years ago, i got way more famous than any 16 year old should ever be when i got tens of thousands of followers overnight for doing undertale shit. and i think it really fucked up my ability to make friends at a time where my only experience meeting new people was at school or at church, and i lived far enough out in the woods that i couldnt just go outside and hang out with the neighbors cuz the neighbors lived a mile away. my socializing skills in general are way more stilted than i'd prefer for someone my age. in private settings ive got my foot in my mouth a lot. and sometimes in public settings too! im sure if youve seen streams ive been on, youve seen plenty of "chase you really shouldnt have said that" moments. and youre probably right, i probably shouldnt have! my moment-to-moment gauge for what i should and shouldnt say is very slow to catch up cuz ive got like. advanced mental illnesses. like, im not joking when i say ive been formally diagnosed several times over by different doctors with shit ive never heard anybody ever talk about, online or otherwise.

i dont think that's an excuse to say heinous or cruel things by any means of course, but i also think that i should not rely on a job where there's constantly a microphone in my hand and an audience listening intently to what i say. im not at all pulling the "its okay that i say mean things because im mentawy iww" card. as a matter of fact i think it's not okay that i say them! and i feel very embarrassed when i do! the filter that separates "normal healthy thoughts" and "intrusive unhealthy thoughts" is thinner and more flimsy in my brain than in others.

ive only gotten this far because i surround myself with very smart, patient, and kind people, and by trying to be understanding and patient with others too. and ive begun apologizing to people a lot more. i dont like it when people are mad at me, and i dont like that for a long time i had professionally painted myself into a corner where im typically always the "heel" in comedy settings, because the "heel" is the guy everyone shits on all the time. i got this reputation not because i actively enjoy being mean, but because i learned to adapt to the aforementioned "clinically unreliable intrusive thoughts filter" by realizing i would say things that came across as mean, and in real time exaggerating that it into a character that people could shoot back at without feeling guilty while still having fun. theres nothing that ruins a good time quite like someone who is constantly apologizing for doing something wrong, and then continuing to do that wrong thing anyway. dont misunderstand, i absolutely adore dunking on weenies when everyone can get a good laugh out of it (like tumblr anons, who i think should be classified as prokariyotic invertebrates and not people (no offense)) but even though it's a joke it still feels very bad when that's expected of me when i walk into a room. because if i walk into a room, and everyone expects me to be an asshole, everyone is on the defensive before i say anything, and sometimes they take shots at me when im not trying to "play". even worse, if im a heel in a setting where it's expected of me and someone cant really keep up with "the bit" then that just means im being an asshole to someone who cant or doesnt have the energy to fight back. and not just any asshole, an asshole who has had nearly a decade of professional experience being a paid asshole.

if im being frank, i dont know if i'll come back in a full capacity. i might! im not ruling that out! and you'll probably still see me pop up in my friends streams, because i did LOVE what i did for a very long time! but after i took my "break" in december after being more stressed than ive ever been, and i knew it was no longer financially necessary for me to livestream, i had the thought "i will go back to streaming when i find within myself a desire to do so" and ya know what? i havent yet.

and DO NOT FUCKING BOTHER MY FRIENDS ABOUT THIS. if you post a fucking "hey have u heard what chase said" message in their chat or in their DMs or anything, im not joking when i say you are actively being the kind of person i changed my career to avoid! fuck you, for real! stop trying to interface with them to get some new piece of information or opinion about me you fucking weirdo! they'll talk about me if they want to, but going to someone who is doing their own thing and asking them to instead comment on someone else it is ALWAYS fucking annoying. if you want to think about me, do it by yourself! or ask me directly! or do it in the comment section of a video im in! or write a fanfiction about me and then throw it away!

but if ur not that kind of person then ur cool dont worry.

anywho! im sorry if this is a bummer to read. but that's the full skinny.

im still posting regularly on twitter (clown_depot)! and if i DO go live, either on my twitch channel or on a friend's stream, it will be posted there!

thanks for watching :^]

im not goin radio silent, im just gonna turn off the electric window that lets people see me for a while.

#the man with no face

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girlfriendsofthegalaxy · 2 months

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tuesday again 4/2/2024

in which i try to clean two different boxes with varying success

new people: hello! the tuesdaypost is a weekly roundup of stuff i've been listening, reading, watching, playing, and making. it is NOT a recommendation series, although i sometimes dabble in critique. when im firing on all cylinders i ask "what is the core concept of this? does it succeed in what i think it's trying to do and what it says it's doing?is it well-made but i dislike it/beautiful but not for me? why? what parts Really Work?"

if you are into purity culture, yelling at other people about the problematic media they consume, or are under 18 i am going to have very little patience for you.

listening

now that i live in houston i am legally obliged to loop the new beyonce album 24/7. there is absolutely truly nobody fucking doing it like her. every song is a multimedia art piece. goddamn do i miss the album as a tool to convey a specific concept/listening order/flow. sometimes (chappell roan most recently comes to mind, although it does feel unfair to compare anyone to beyonce) every individual song is pretty good but the listening experience if you sit down and listen all the way through the album is unpleasant and choppy. not so here. NEVER here.

my favorite like Dance Number is YA YA (it samples nancy sinatra's boots! and the beach boys' good vibrations! wildly different tones despite coming out a year apart!)

youtube

the one that goes on four different character/tone playlists is BODYGUARD.

youtube

great early roundup of influences, samples, and collaborators. delighted to see five fingers for marseilles listed, a rocky but underrated south african neo-western free on tubi rn for americans

reading

also very texas-relevant with the recent pornhub lawsuits! pornhub and sex tech (among other things) have been samantha cole's beat for almost ten years. i trust her to report sensitively and not for like. shock clicks

this site has a free paywall (sign up with your email for a link to the full article) so bots have a harder time scraping articles: this is a journalist-founded site with only the four founders running it and writing articles. while annoying i do think this is a reasonable measure

The platform still has problems, but after years of critical reporting and a litany of legal and reputational consequences, Pornhub is now more heavily moderated than any other porn platform, and most major social media platforms, for that matter. A growing list of age verification laws has put Pornhub in a position where it is compelled to block access to its site in seven states and counting. In theory, these laws are designed to prevent children from being able to access pornography online. In reality, what is going to happen is that children are going to end up on pornographic sites that don’t care what the law says, and where some of the most harmful content that exists online is actively promoted to them.

she's also got a new limited series podcast with CBC about the rise and fall of pornhub, which was fascinating and kept me company during an extremely early morning drive

watching

i'm lukewarm about this one but i spend a lot of time getting there, much like this movie

ive been watching a lot of frankly dogshit thrillers, which has made me wonder: what's the deal with supervillans? where did they come from? and thence arrived at the prototypical film Dr Mabuse the Gambler (1922, dir. Lang). the four and a half hour cut on Kanopy is two normal-length movies superglued together, which makes sense as a streaming product but it is sort of a terrifying runtime and took me three days to get through.

sometimes, as we know, i get a real bee in my bonnet about visiting the early versions of things. dr mabuse is the blueprint for every james bond and mission impossible villain, or really any shadowy supervillain with power over [INDUSTRY] or [THE MARKET]. it is a four and a half hour long cat and mouse game through lavish, eccentric sets between mabuse and prosecutor wenk. it has some trouble sustaining itself bc it is four and a half hours long but does deliver on the cat and mouse aspects. this letterboxed review has interesting things to say about the political climate of 1922 germany and how lang subverts the formula of the pulp serial.

really the film opens with mabuse yelling at his cocaine-addicted assistant, but the film properly gets going with mabuse's henchmen stealing a trade agreement (nothing really carbon dates a movie more than a missing trade agreement. vanishingly few post-early-30s movies have missing trade agreements as plot points) and then he crashes the stock market. for fun and profit.

however. i think every time you see an evil man who is a banker or stockbroker or generally uses money as power you have to interrogate whether it's antisemitic. the answer here is "maybe" but i'm not sure if intent matters when contemporary nazi critics were eager to hold mabuse up as "this is the typical jewish criminal". (sorry about the link directly to wikipedia, it's been touch finding online sources for this section). mabuse is not specifically jewish, but there are certainly elements of stereotype. i am still not good at being presented with "this movie has a shadowy behind the scenes figure manipulating the government and all the money ever" and going "hey wait a minute".

after that tremendous glaring caveat, for which i read more contemporary reviews and reviews in general than i ever read for movies in these posts, is it good? eh. a contemporary VARIETY review remarked (and i largely agree)

The direction of Fritz Lang has moments – but Lang somewhat negates his good technical effects by twenty forty-word captions of a ludicrous unconciseness.

the night scenes are particularly well done, and imo are better than many modern night scenes--other contemporary reviews remarked

In this film the techniques of the film camera (Carl Hoffmann’s brilliant photography) are brought to perfection. The problem of how to film lit-up streets at night has been solved for the first time. It is unbelievably impressive to see the glaring lights of speeding cars flash through the night or the rapid passing of an elevated train of the initially blurred, then gradually focussed glimpse through a pair of opera glasses on to the variety stage, the nuances of light and shade—these things alone prove the value of film documentary.

look at this shit! filmed from within the cars! in 1922!!!

youtube

this film asks you to believe hypnotism is real and really effective, so i don't think it's that big of a leap when it asks you to believe in ghosts. i don't understand that quibble from contemporary viewers. there are several on screen suicides with like. specific methods. which is not currently regarded as good filmmaking practice. im curious to know what contemporary audiences thought but couldn't immediately turn anything up, and wading through masters’ theses on cinematic suicide is a little beyond my current mental health.

if i were a more content-minded woman this would turn into a clickbait video essay about the antisemitic origins of every supervillan. however i am unqualified and untalented at video editing and i'm sure there are forty theses on this already. this movie is a hard sell to anyone jewish or employed. it is also a stunning example of cutting-edge film technology and part of the genesis of the modern supervillan. Fritz Lang films tend to fall in the category of “movies i am happy to see once and feel no need to revisit”.

playing

playing what is effectively the same game three times back to back (breath of the wild, tears of the kingdom, genshin impact) has sort of burned me out on open world games with a focus on battle skill progression and stumbling across little puzzles in the overworld. i have to get itch.io up and running on this pc and find the most linear jankiest possible one-sitting indie thing. or several of them. i might try the solo ttrpg Gentleman Bandit i seem to have acquired in one of the giant charity bundles

brief breath of the wild update bc i don't want to pull screenshots off my switch: i have gotten to the boss fight for the gerudo and goron regions, have not completed them bc my focus in this game is NOT hearts, and am in the middle of the zora temple. despite the quality of life improvements and new regions in totk i think i prefer botw: progression is a bit easier, there are fewer mmo-style hub quests and repeatable quests. things like the stable photos are cute but very repetitive, so are the sign bracing puzzles, and the sky crystal quests for sky shrines feel VERY samey. also dislike how the CLEAR OUT: [REGION] quests with the monster suppression squads reset at the blood moon.

anyway! to genshin! there was an exceptionally fun little event with a surprisingly involved management sim tacked onto the game??? you make and sell potions fulfilling different requirements, and can eventually stock travelling merchants all over the continent. the actual act of making the potions was this block-filling 1010! style thing (screenshot from polygon)

the new region, a port town and tea-growing area called Chenyu Vale, is maybe the prettiest one in the game so far? it's the one that feels the most picturesque and Designed, like this is one huge mansion garden studded with follies. they also added background chatter and noise in the cities and towns, which really startled me and makes them feels much more lived in! this is a fun trick to avoid putting in a thousand NPCs and making everyone's framerate crash. the less stuff in your game, the less shit can go wrong.

also pulled for and got chiyori, a geo-aligned seamstress (and sometime spy???) swordswoman who has what i can only call domme voice

making

ok now we'll talk about boxes. i was rearranging my kitchen, as unemployed women are known to do, and noticed this recipe box i picked up back in mass was disgusting. the finish is starting to fail but it was genuinely grody and last summer i packed my kitchen in a blind panic inside an hour and did not have time to address it. i have never seen a recipe box at an estate sale before or since and it made me desperately sad.

it was full of a lot of stuff.

i went at it with a somewhat inadvisable combination of things: wood soap didn't budge it, so i dampened a paper towel in vinegar and wiped it down in the vain hope it would do something. the thing that worked, and would be inadvisable for anything veneered or less densely textured, was baking soda paste and the scrubby side of a sponge. it still smells Very musty even after 48h of loose baking soda inside with several changes, but that might be partly the recipe cards' fault. i would like to refinish this at some point but i don't have polyurethane on hand and the fun little project budget is empty until further notice/i get a job.

the hinge did rust a bit despite my best efforts but that has since been lightly steel wooled and oiled. a well loved object! it's possible the lady who died just fucking sucked and that's why literally her entire estate including many other things families usually keep was on sale, but i would like to think perhaps she simply had no other family? a well loved/used object even if all the recipes are for semi-horrifying fifties new england recipes.

the other box, pre-acids but post-washing: this topp trading card box with seven episode one packets of cards was intact with the original seal. i have verified it was not worth much more than the $5 i paid for it with the trading card obsessed man in my best friend's husband's friendgroup. i bought this three months ago but the man was unavailable to open it until uhhh last week. some sort of liquid got inside it at some point and it was super corroded. i was going to store embroidery floss in here but even with all my powers (barkeepers friend. brasso.) i cannot completely remove the corrosion. it's not corroded Through but it looks bad and feels rough. so it goes. it'll probably hold the tiedown straps in my car bc that plastic bucket is rapidly failing

#aaaaaaand we're back baybee!!!#tuesday again #tuesday again no problem #uncharacteristically nervous about this one since there are so many new people haha

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ballcrusher74 · 4 months

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hello. are you. perhaps 👉👈 willing to talk about the inspector/faux. ive only seen cool arts and no context so im rather curious.

OK!!! I actually love rambling about my ocs so small questions like this make me day. I just get nervous LOL But! I will say, there's gonna probably be a bit I'm leaving out because it does involve my friends' characters and it's still an on-going thing atm (we tend to roleplay on lethal company as our guys. btw the oc group is called Cleanup Crew ! it explains the recent reblogs and new tags I've added on posts with this guy) AND this does also involve my own little interpretations of in-game mechanics and other things, but otherwise, I'll get the rest of him down!

Inspector, also originally known by the name of Terrance Conroy (or Terry), was a typical scavenger working under 'The Company' after a couple rough times on his home planet. (This information isn't necessarily set in stone, but the idea of him being a washed-up rock star before quitting his passion to get a job that pays his rent has been bouncing around in my brain.) He used to be a normal guy, trying to find a little hope in his desperate situation, and was a social butterfly. He tend to bounce from crew to crew, sometimes staying in some for only a couple days, and some for months. He was a very careful man, and looked out for his fellow crew members.

And then, one day, his first death on the job happens.

But instead of being greeted by a bright white light at the end of a tunnel, or complete pitch darkness, he appears on the ship again- completely physically fine.

This.. confuses him at first, yet he continues on.

And then he dies again. And again, and again. Over and over, the more deaths he's endured, the more he comes to a morbid realization that he can't truly die, nor can those around him. He tries to keep this truth hidden away from the others, as they seem to not have mentioned it at all before. He remembers everything. Every time he was ripped to shreds by an eyeless dog, every time he blew up into pieces from a landmine, every time he was shot multiple times, every time he was left behind or ejected as part of the disciplinary process- He felt it all and remembered it all. This goes on for the course of years (around 8-10 roughly) and over that course of time, he begins to grow very careless. What's the point of saving someone if they'll just come back? What's the use of tears when you're only a couple dollars off quota with a shovel in hand?

What's the point of it all? And with that carelessness comes selfishness into the picture. With how long he's been stuck in the cycle, he has become a very manipulative person, putting up a playful and nice persona on the outside- almost sickeningly sweet- in order to help other's do his bidding. He believes that if he were to cause so much chaos, disorder, and disruption within a crew, to where it's like animals mauling each other apart, he'd be able to break free from it himself. He doesn't care anymore about leaving others behind. He's desperate at this point to find a way out. Faux, who is an alter ego / disguise for Inspector, ties more into the on-going events right now, but I can give a basic rundown on his personality. He's a klutzy and quiet man, typically only talking to others when it's just him and them, and nobody else around, playing himself off as a selective mute. Since this is just Inspector in a jazzy little jester outfit, he still possesses all the traits of that man, just hidden away as to not blow his cover. He's still tugging on the strings in some way, people just don't realize. Sure, he's off putting and just a tad bit strange, but how can a goofy man like that be terrifying?

WOOOW ok that's a lot more typing than expected, but here's also a couple fun facts about the guy !

He stands at 6 feet and 1 inch, and is a very lanky guy compared to others, but this wasn't always the case. He used to just stand at 5 feet and 6 inches, and had more normal human proportions. With how many times he has died and how long it's been of the cycle, it has fucked up his appearance a LOT. Other things include : his 'skin' being grey, his voice constantly sounding like it's coming from a walkie talkie, no visible neck, his face becoming the helmet itself (it still bleeds, but there's nothing in there), and inhumanly flexible.

The only thing left of him that represents his last strand of humanity, is a singular, dim eye behind the tape on his visor.

He is very much not a rational man anymore. He is quick to jump to things, and won't hesitant with his actions.

When waiting to return from death, he is able to manifest in someone's head as a disembodied voice, and will typically mock them, or try and manipulate them further. In this state, he can see everything through the eyes of the person he's haunting. ^ Fun fact about this! This was originally based off a stupid bit where my friend was streaming LC to me with other buddies on the game and I kept telling them to step on landmines and then kill someone for a promotion, and then Inspector was born!

and UH I think that's about it I have for the guy atm! If the rest of the cleanup crew gets dropped than I'll update this accordingly perhaps. As of right now, enjoy my oc slop 👍

#lethal company #lethal company oc #oc #cleanup crew #that inspector that i hate #render

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escapismmaxing · 4 months

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icewing redesign and headcanons!!

this is kind of a jumble sooooo

physical traits

i think they are so huge. easily the biggest out of all the tribes on average

huge not just in height but they also tend to be chubby and fat like blubber

furred at hatching, but can lose fur as they age, often ending up with partial fur (mane, down the spine, trailing at ankles, etc)

also perhaps “beards” (genderless, duh)

(my imagination for this is kind of traditional unicorn esque, like those fuckass tails + hair around their feet and their mane. yeah)

speaking of fur,,, they have little toe pads with fur sticking out between their toes!

tiny little baby ears to prevent frostbite

antlers instead of horns!! or at least horns with many branches like antlers

kind of smallish wings compared to their body size, so they tend to be slowish, lumbering fliers but they still get the job done

this “style” of flying lets them be very sturdy despite high arctic winds

icewings hunt underwater, so they’re somewhat partially aquatic and can hold their breath for long periods of time (also hence the blubber)

their “spines” aren’t spines connected to their skeletal structure, but quills connected to their skin, so they fall out and regrow a lot, and also get embedded in opponents skin during battle

colors,,, im always conflicted on. for sure natural arctic animal colors (all greys, whites, beiges, yellows and browns during summer months) but also like. fuck it they’re dragons so blues, purples, and pinks too

i don’t remember when i originally did this, but i gave them a pronounced throat sac thing to produce sound and music? so yeah. we’re sticking with that because ive been drawing it for like a year

on the topic of their throat sac! i love to imagine what the tribes individual voices/languages sound like. i think icewings are very veryyyy scary according to other tribes, with deep growling, warbling, and clicking (like a leopard seal). and really throaty hoots and high pitched screeches like a snowy owl!

just saw a video of a caribou (?) fucking screeching. so yknow what icewings do that too (but not in normal communication it’s explicitly like an “uh oh!” noise)

frostscales! and also frostless. warmscales? i don’t really know but they exist to me. they’re kind of a lot less,, harmful than firescales, especially when kept within the ice queendom, because they just add more ice to existing ice

culture!!

so even though snowfall broke down the physical tracking of the circles, that hierarchy persists and there is for sure a hierarchy of dragons with closer relationship to the queen etc

now it’s just less concrete so it’s easier to move up and down etc

i wouldn’t think it matters any less though, like social standings persist

i think the social climate within the castle is insanely different to what it is outside the castle

inside the castle: cold, cutthroat, fuck you

outside the castle and outside the circle: living in a really harsh environment, so an insanely strong sense of community and togetherness, still with distinct familial groups, and icewings probably have one of the more common rates of monogamy/marriage

formal school settings depend on the town, some towns have them,and these towns also tend to be more formal in general and carry more remnants of the circle system

what’s more common is apprenticeships

speaking of apprenticeships,, jobs

hunting is taken on as a community activity, and there isn’t much to grow so there’s not a lot of agriculture

but there ARE a lot of traders/merchants in the border villages

also a lot of icewings who focus on hide/leather preservation, clothing and fabrics, sculptures,, lots of artisan work

lots of holidays, like holidays allll the time (high stress environment creates a need for frequent relaxation)

just for shits and giggles,,,,, some examples

celebration of first snow melt

celebration of first flower buds

midsummer celebration

summer ending celebration (heralding in a kind winter)

probably during the winter a celebration every biggest full moon or something

you get the idea

i forget if this was confirmed at some point in the books, but i think “royal” instruments are just straight up like woodwinds carved from ice. so they’re royal because they can’t leave the tippy toppy coldest place of the continent otherwise they’ll melt

i think there’s a lot of legends related to like dragons trapped beneath the ice and lost in snow storms etc, just because water beneath ice makes some crazy terrifying sounds

as for population distribution, i think icewings are kind of concentrated at the castle, and then closer to the sandwing border. the tundra is kind of just meant to be traversed rather than lived in

they’re very friendly with sandwings and seawings! also eventually friendly with mudwings because of crystal, and probably at least somewhat friendly with skywings as well

although they did have a history of fighting with skywings for the northern mountain territories, they’ve come to an agreement now

also, of all the pyrrhian tribes, they’re one of the most friendly w the pantalan tribes since the icewing queendom is the hub for travel

fashion!!

so there’s a lot of mixtures with sandwing culture! drums and woodwinds, shawls are popular, beads braided into manes and tails

furs and leathers are common (using all parts of the animals they hunt) and carvings made from ivory are also common art + jewelry

i think other jewelry would consist of like really thin strands of metal looped around their face and antlers (so inconvenient but so pretty)

royal vs commoner

wow these categories are getting,,,, messy. sorry!!

royals have really political weddings still, related to rising in the circle ratings and whatnot (lowkey so much incest within the castle,,, save them)

it’s getting better, and dragons are marrying outside the nobles but still

monogamy would be commonly practiced but i don’t think they’d hold the “nuclear” family model i think all generations would help raise the hatchlings and instill family values into them or whatever

i think it’s similar for commoners, with generational but not communal raising, but obviously marriage is isn’t as pressured, so it’s less common

i generally think marriage isn’t the norm amongst dragons even if a couple is monogamous

as for commoners' view on royals,,,,, very very icy and unkind. royals tend to be really only concerned with royals.

i think they’re so unconcerned, actually, that there’s a whole separate “cabinet of diplomats” setup that live closer to the sandwing border and handle all the dealings with the other tribes. they send a report to the queen every first moon cycle. fucking maybe

royals and nobles tend to have more fun/thick and long fur because fur is really hard to maintain, keep healthy, and keep clean so a royal with a lot of clean and beautiful fur is a really clear sign that they put a lot of effort into their look

versus most dragons don't have the time for that, so over time they’ve lost fur (not completely)

religions/superstitions

i think they’re insanely superstitious!!

the amount of ermines or stoats they see in a winter correlates to how fast spring will come (more = faster)

also to herald in spring, icewings collect flowers and seeds, dry them, and hang/sprinkle them around all the entrances to their house

polar bears and leopard seals are bad omens. they’re some of the only other animals that can take on dragons. icewings avoid them

(they’re seen as highly holy or a bad omen. or both. depends on who you talk to)

i think icewings think fire bad. you see smoke in tundra? bad. run

however. still. light is rare in the arctic, especially the winter, so it’s bad luck to snuff out a light and often is thought to mean inviting death into your life. this is also bad!

so coming across a fire? bad. PUTTING OUT THE FIRE? worse. get outta there

i think there’s a lot of myths of seeing apparitions in the tundra and during the winter (that’s just snow being kicked up by the wind,,,, but also what if it’s not)

most common are: a giant dragon-like creature with a horn on its forehead and a finned tail, following this creature is debatable

still with the apparitions: crowd of small rodents (ermines, stoats, lemmings) scurrying about. decidedly don’t follow these, but they do often point to an early spring

i could go on forever.

(i also think icewings use water to “scry”) ((in general i headcanon magic to be a bit more present in the world. not just animus have it))

holy shit this got so long 👁👁 i hope these were somewhat interesting. dm or send an ask if you want more info on any of them i love spinning these guys around in my head i think icewings are so interesting fr.

#wof #wof art #wof redesign #wings of fire #wof icewing

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peachypede · 5 months

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Hi all.

I haven't been happy lately. I've been thinking a lot about why. Had a little meditation on it this morning. I think my brain is too busy. I've decided to take a break from Tumblr for a week. Possibly more if I feel like it.

I'm deleting Tumblr off my phone for now. Mutuals can still message on Discord. I'm a sahm, I'll go crazy with zero human interaction other than children lol. (If you're a mutual who doesnt have my Discord and you want it, feel free to DM to ask for it. I got notifs on for Dms on Tumblr on my tablet only)

...

There's this constant pressure, almost need? To churn out as much "content" as possible or be buried in the past. Idk if it's just me not being able to do art normally? I used to draw for myself. I used to be self-indulgent. I used to be fine with only my closest online friends seeing my art. I don't know what changed. It makes me feel ill that ive begun seeing my art as "content" that others "consume". I wanna make my art for me again.

I stayed up till 11 pm last night despite having to wake up at any time to feed the baby. Idk why I did it? Maybe I need a med change? Meh.

I've also just been discouraged. I've seen a lot of posts filled with hate lately and I feel like it's infecting me with hatred too. I'm angrier lately and I hate it. (Is there a way to turn off the "for you" page?? Cause all it gives me is bad takes lol.)

I think I need time to be me? To draw art without feeling like I should post it right away. Also it'd be nice to make art without thinking: "what will get the most notes?" I've wanted to do a project with my ocs for months now but I kinda have been putting it off in order to make stuff I think people would like more...like Submas stuff. Don't get me wrong, I love our submas boys and I'm still gonna draw stuff with them but they're not the thing I'm most passionate about now.

So I'm gonna go explore that stuff now with zero social media influence :)

See ya later. ❤️

#peachy rambles #vent post #Idk if it counts as a vent post ???

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ftmtftm · 5 months

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i personally have been thinking a lot abt the "share your pronouns" thing (not specifically bc of this anon just in general) and like. to me i think people pin a lot of blame on nonbinary people for something that isnt my fault. to be respected and seen i will ALWAYS have to out myself - neither being stealth nor the closet are an option for me. but you... when you use he or she pronouns you can still be stealth while making the environment youre in safe and comfortable for nonbinary people just by saying "im [name] i use he pronouns". it establishes not that youre trans, necessarily, but that you know that anyone around you could be nonbinary. that trans doesnt have a "look". i mean. since hes saying stuff like "fake trans" idk that he cares necessarily about that but...

ive talked abt this w my transmasc and transfem friends so like. i know the perspective anons probably coming from. it isnt my fault that transphobic people use gender neutrality in language to hurt trans people. it isnt my fault that cis people will ask for your pronouns when they think they've clocked you. it isnt my fault that i exist the way that i do. sharing my pronouns is a necessity; there is no assumption that is correct for me. and that *hurts*

anyways i admire ur compassion and patience a lot, i hope anon gets better soon

Conflicting needs will always exist in our community!! And also though - There is quite literally always the option to "answer like a cis person" if someone is deeply concerned about being stealth. It's not fun, but that option is absolutely available if someone needs to be stealth.

Especially because sharing pronouns isn't anything more than asking someone how they like to be addressed. Their whole purpose is to fill in a place of address in a sentence so you don't repeat someone's name over and over to the point of sounding like Elmo. It can be used to clock people or out people and people can absolutely be malicious with it, but it's not the fault of trans people that transphobic people do that.

Like, you are absolutely correct because once again: the burden of the harmful system does not fall upon the ones being harmed. The burden instead falls upon the people perpetuating the system. Transphobic people cause transphobia, not trans people attempting to just live their lives.

I also understand the desire to pass and not be clocked and to be treated like a "normal" man. But the unfortunate truth is that... isn't reality and probably won't be in our lifetimes. So then your options become "lash out because I'm angry about this" or "work towards solutions so no one else has to feel this way after me".

The fact of the matter is the normalization of nonbinary identities in general and the normalization of asking for pronouns in group settings is a real solution that can help the most people in the long run. It puts cis people, binary trans people, and nonbinary trans people all on the same playing field. The practice still needs to actually be fully integrated into our social practices, but we're still in the awkward beginning stages of it. It's good to be realistic about that, because sometimes you have to think about both people outside of yourself and the future.

It is ultimately a good thing and I'm sorry you are harmed by the backlash to it anon.

#asks #anon #long post /

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many-gay-magpies · 2 years

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Magpie, can you rec me merthur fics? Your top 10?

yes ofc i can!! a lot of these are just some ive read more recently but here u go :> top 10 merlin fics, in no particular order (despite what the numbered list may suggest)!

garden or graveyard by shanastoryteller | this one is SOOO GOOD. it's in the longer oneshot category (11k words roughly) and it takes place in an au where arthur also has magic (albeit to a lesser degree than merlin). it's very sweet and heartwarming, while also delving some into the culture of magic in camelot and a magic-having arthur's upbringing within that culture, and the magic reveal scene is one of my favorites i've ever read.

arthur enchanted by platonic_boner | another oneshot (smaller this time, around 5k), very funny and sweet! arthur gets enchanted to obey merlin's orders, which is obviously no problem at all, as a servant would NEVER dare order around their king... lol. this is an "arthur already knows about the magic" fic and i just really love the dynamics throughout!

our lips are sealed by eat_crow | an even SHORTER oneshot at only 1.9k-- it's truth spell time baby!! arthur and merlin get imprisoned by a sorceress and get doused with a truth spell that caused them to reveal, among other things, merlin's magic and their love for each other. despite the seriousness that comes with magic reveals a lot of the time, it very quickly becomes more silly and light-hearted just bh virtue of what else the truth spell reveals (i won't spoil much hfjgbng)

dower the stars by rorounihime | this is a longer, multi-chapter fic (8 chapters and around 40k) that i read a while ago, but remember being super good (ive actually been meaning to re-read it sometime soon). it's one of those fics where the description makes you think it'll be king of funny and lighthearted, but then the fic itself kind of rips your heart in two-- set in an alternate future magic-legalized camelot, where a great druid prophecy/event of sorts states that merlin will find his "other half" (presumably another magic user) with whom he will be all-powerful, and arthur angsts internally while watching merlin court and GET courted by all these other magic users. very nice build up and a very satisfying release/ending from what i can remember; i'm always a fan of fics where character represses their feelings for the sake of character b's happiness, so this one was right up my alley.

you have to chase it by arthurandhisswordbros | let's throw in a modern/reincarnation au for some spice! 8 chapters and 41k words. it's a social media au of a sort, and normally i'm not one for social media aus, but there is just something so... incredibly special about this one. arthur reincarnates and, five years after finding his "place" in the modern world, discovers twitter, where someone appears to be impersonating the legendary wizard merlin... wonder who that could be? the fic is very sweet, funny, and sad/emotional in parts; it's honestly one of my favorite takes on a modern/reincarnation au ive ever read and i find myself going back to it again and again. the character dynamics are just splendid, and watching arthur's progression from just SURVIVING in the modern world to actually LIVING in it was beautiful. 10/10 would recommend

the weight of words by waldorph | a good portion of this already short (4k or so i think) fic is sex, but the arthur characterization is SOSOSO good i love it so much. this is an especially notable instance of me loving it when bbcm fanfic writers take his character and run with it to the point that it's hardly even canon arthur anymore (but still somehow manages to be a beautiful interpretation/spin on his canon self?? idk man i love it a lot.) just gonna copy the author's description for this: "Arthur knows how to use words just as well as Merlin, and he knows about the magic."

linger on your pale blue eyes by supercalvin | longer oneshot; 18k or so. this one is so good-- it's basically an examination into how arthur views himself as a prince and how his body is viewed by himself and others (read: touch-starved arthur, which always slaps), coupled with some very soft and sweet merthur. the magic reveal in this is so low-key, which is something i like a lot in an abundance of fics where the reveal happens in a big, angsty dramatic flare (which are good in their own right, but can get tiring after a time). loved the arthur characterization in this one!

the gold of you that can't be seen by fleetling | another shorter oneshot (4.5k), and a soulmate au! you can see every color except for the color of your soulmate's eyes until you meet them, and arthur can't see gold. i love this one a lot because it shows the progression of arthur's worldview as he ages (from believing that magic is evil like his father taught him, to working towards or considering legalizing it after his opinions have changed a great deal) very well. includes a few heart-wrenching scenes with young arthur and uther, and a very light-hearted magic reveal!

how to love a living thing by polomonkey | the WHUMP. the ANGST. the HURT/COMFORT. this baby is 17k words of it and it is BEAUTIFUL. i'm just gonna copy the author's summary here because it gives you a pretty good idea of what the fic is about: "Guilt ridden and lonely after his confrontation with Nimueh, Merlin slowly begins to isolate himself from Arthur. When two knights take it upon themselves to teach him his place, Merlin finds himself with nowhere to turn. Will he be able to reach out to his prince before it's too late?" forewarning, there is some minor SA and a variety of mild-to-severe violence/abuse in this, but if that's not something that bothers you too bad then i definitely encourage you to give it a read!

strike of lightning by helloearthlings | another good soulmate au to top off the list-- this is one where you have a tattoo on your back that represents your soulmate, and if the tattoo moves, it means your soulmate has magic. arthur's soulmark is a raging thunderstorm, and uther orders him to kill his soulmate the second he meets them. very good and sweet, would definitely recommend if you enjoy/are partial to soulmate aus

(and an edit, because i literally just read this fic after answering this ask and im feeling VERY insane about it)

and with my opened mouth i join the singing light by intothefirewego | bro oh my god. i cannot even BEGIN to explain this fic my mind is still reeling. it stole all my marbles theyre dead gone decimated. nonetheless i will attempt anyways: basically, this is a (mind-blowingly beautiful holy SHIT) magic reveal fic, among other things, wherein merlin is injured in an attack from a sorceress while he, the knights, and arthur are riding back from a venture to an illness-ridden village; merlin nearly dies and arthur bargains with the sorceress that did it to save his life. but its also soso much more than that and i cant begin to explain ANY OF IT without giving major spoilers but basically its just really beautiful and well-written and you should absolutely go read it if you're not squeamish around graphic descriptions of blood (because there is a lot of that). wonderful unpacking of arthur and merlin's characters and their relationship with each other; 10/10 so beautiful i started crying

#asks #anon 📝#bbc merlin #fic recs #bbc merlin fic #merthur

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herefortarlos · 23 days

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so i'm pretty new to this fandom as i've just finished watching the show this past month, i've been loving the instagram content from filming but i wonder if it was normal/usual for their to be limited content from Rafael? I feel like i've seen loads of videos of him and Ronen from the past and yet we have nothing this season. Is that weird?

Hello there, anon, and thank you for the ask!! 💕 Welcome to Lone Star and the fandom!

Now I actually found and binge watched Lone Star 3 months before season 4 started airing and I wasn't really active in fandom and keeping up to date on the actors and their socials until after s4e01 aired. So this is also my first time being a part of the fandom while they're shooting the new season! You are not alone in your worries and thoughts about the lack of Rafa/Carlos and Tarlos content, but various people including @thisbuildinghasfeelings have done some recent detective work and confirmed that in previous seasons, we didn't start getting Tarlos content until a few months into shooting and Rafael rarely posts Lone Star content unless he's promoting a Carlos or Tarlos heavy episode. It also wasn't until season 4 started airing that we got a lot more bts content. https://www.tumblr.com/thisbuildinghasfeelings/748327268016898048/ive-been-seeing-increasing-concern-over-the-fact?source=share

Rafael also doesn't post much in general, personal or work related, so that is very normal!

It also seems very likely that something new is happening with Carlos right at the start of season 5. There's been a lot of speculation that he might have a new job or be with the Texas Rangers now, so that's probably the main reason we haven't gotten any Carlos content, because they don't want that spoiled before the show actually starts! It seems super likely especially with a recent Rafael cameo I saw and him saying he's excited for s5e01 because "it's something so different from anything he's done and a lot of things have changed."

I know it's hard not to worry or overthink things (trust me 🙃) but we have gotten more bts footage than last year, from what I've heard! Hopefully plenty of Rafa/Carlos/Tarlos pictures and videos have been taken while on set and we will be able to see them once the show actually starts airing in the Fall! Do not stress anon, we are all in this together and it will be okay! Fall will be here before we know it!

#I hope that helps a little anon ❤️#thank you for my second anon ask!!#911 lone star #rafael silva #tarlos #desi answers #anon asks

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w1f1n1ghtm4r3 · 8 months

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ippiki au lore dump

if the name of the au does not make it very obvious, this au was inspired very heavily by the trained cards for kick it up a notch (i just chose to reference the comm, hitsuji ga ippiki, as the au name because it sounds cooler than calling it like. kickup au. so its ippiki au instead. when i first started working on this i just called it animal fighters au but thats long LOL)

its one of my favorite sets, im a big fan of dystopian and post-apocalyptic themes which the set hits perfectly and there was room to have fun with animal designs (i mean, seriously, they gave kohane sheep horns and named akitos costume "hound kid") and so i started thinking from the moment i laid eyes on the set when it leaked and i ended up with an au based around the idea of animal/human hybrids.

first of all for actual au stuff, character profiles! these were made a lot earlier on into working the au so ive made minor adjustments to their designs since then, but nothing drastic. mainly just little things ive changed when drawing them in more detail, like additional scars and such.

while making kohane a sheep and akito a dog (hes... not a specific kind of dog. hes a mix of a whole bunch of different larger domestic dog breeds combined with some wild canines. ) were obvious from the set, deciding on the animals for an and touya required a bit more thought. i ended up settling on a fox for an partially as a nod to her ny3 card and also because for a long time now ive thought theyre fitting for her anyway, and touya as a black leopard because... he's kitty. but i wanted to make him a big kitty not a domestic kitty. i do also like bunny touyas but for how i was feeling with this au i wanted him to be a cat.

theres the fun little detail that kohane is the only animal that isnt a predator in vbs.

but i should probably explain why theyre animal hybrids in this au.

im going to put the rest of the lore dump and more art below, this gets long.

basically, in the face of a coming apocalypse, there was an effort to attempt to hybridize humans with animals to see if they could create a form of human (or something seen as "human enough") that would be more resilient if the apocalypse threatened the survival of normal humanity. it was never completely successful and the hybrids were less stable/generally shorter lived (if physically stronger) but it ended up being unnecessary and enough of humanity survived to rebuild. but the experiments to create hybrids continued.

in the present day of the au, hybrids are created for... less pleasant tasks. the kinds of things people dont want to take on, and theyre physically stronger than the average human so theyre put to those jobs instead. or theyre created as showpieces/pets for the wealthy (most people outside of those circles find it strange to keep hybrids like that though. hybrids arent always seen as being truly human (although theyre fully capable of everything human and then some) but theyre still seen as human enough for it to be weird).

many of them though, are created as sacrifices for entertainment in battle arenas where theyll have to fight each other to the death. its a seemingly inevitable fate to die there once theyre sent, but escape has happened before. an is living proof of that, as both of her parents are escaped arena fighters who helped establish a small town of hybrids out in the wasteland beyond the city at the core of hybrid creation and sacrifice.

how an ended up as an arena fighter despite being born well outside the city... thats a long story.

touya is a showpiece fighter, created to fight but kept secure and safe outside of his registered fights. he might be healthier physically, much less worn down by fighting, but hes been very socially isolated and doesnt fit in with other hybrids very well.

an and touya fight in the same arena, and touyas fight days are the only times he interacts with other hybrids. hes given free reign around the hybrid compound (where most other hybrids are restricted under collars and chains) and he ends up meeting an there. although tense, they become sort of friends and he frees her and they escape together.

kohane and akito are just normal arena fighters, created solely for that purpose, although kohane was meant as an early sacrifice due to her skittish nature, but she survives. theyre in the same arena as each other, although its a harsher one than the one antouya are in, theyre unable to properly interact with anyone else at all and are just lucky enough to be neighbors to end up bonding.

i just grouped them based on which side of their face they have the barcodes on in the original cards lol in this au the arenas generally brand their fighters with a code for identifying them. touyas is actually not permanent like the others, but temporarily applied whenever he has a fight coming up (like a temporary tattoo lol)

kohane managing to survive despite the intention being that she dies is actually the driving force that starts the fic for this au (which fun fact, despite me never mentioning the title, does have a title! the fic will be called "fight, flight, freedom", unless i think of something that fits even better, but i already like the title as is so i probably wont change it)

its rough but i promise everyone gets a happy ending eventually :)

now for sitting through all that rambling heres some art

heres my very initial attempts at designs for them! no drastic changes even since this initial pass at designs tbh i was pretty content with them pretty quickly

some various doodles of them interacting, some during/around the time of the fic and others post-fic

what if they were... more animal? like furries instead of just the ears/tails? obviously noncanon but it was a fun little thing to draw

wip aged up designs! heavily inspired by the power of unity set because it also fits into the post apocalyptic type theme and i thought would work for them when theyre a little older. assume theyre about 20-21 here, while in the main canon of the au theyre about 16-17.

a silly little sketch i did last week of aged up akikoha in their burn my soul outfits... kohane cant really wear hats, horns are inconvenient for that. everyone elses ears would probably make hats difficult too, but you could probably make holes for their ears. you cant really make holes for the tops of her horns.

some little finished pieces i did for this au. can you tell akito is my favorite to draw for this?

now heres some other random au facts

an and haruka are childhood friends, haruka also being the child of ferals. haruka is a domestic cat hybrid (either a gray or black cat, i havent decided which yet). she is not in their hometown anymore either. where is she now...? ill leave you to wonder about that.

kohane and minori grew up in the same group of created hybrids together, theyre friends but were sent to different places so they dont know whats happened to each other since. minori is a goat btw (inspired by her halloween card)

a lot of ans scars are from injuries that snowballed after an incident in a fight that severely broke her tail and led to part of it being amputated. her balance was thrown off for a while after that so she was a little clumsier in fights than normal

akitos scars on the other hand are caused by the fact that hes a reckless fighter. a good fighter, but not much care for the damage he takes in the process. that and improper padding on his collars and muzzle, leaving those spots unable to fully heal from being rubbed against metal for months and when they finally do heal they scarred.

im still sorting things out for sure but tentatively for vbs npcs i have decided on fox ken and yuka (obviously, same as an), tiger taiga (i mean... how could i not go for the pun. and i think it suits him), maned wolf nagi (update march 2024 ive drawn nagi now so this is what has been made canon), raccoon kotaro, caracal arata, and dog souma (sorry to any tatsuya fans, i have not figured out how to include him in the au at all)

vbs all very clingy with each other once they get comfortable together. platonic polysquad ❤️

other characters outside of vbs exist in this au but theyre just not relevant enough to the story for me to include here 👍

the fic outline is like 2.4k words. the first chapter is a couple scenes away from being finished and its about 5k words. it will not be the longest chapter of the fic. this is going to be a long au.

maybe ill do another lore dump another day if i can think of more stuff. well see.

if you made it this far, thank you for reading, heres an edit i made the moment we got high quality versions of the cards and is probably partially responsible for the existence of this au

#w1f1 ramblings #w1f1 draws #ippiki au #project sekai #vivid bad squad #long post #sorry this is an absurdly long post #i may be a little hyperfixated on my own au. lol.#i just love my fucked up little creatures #my goal is to hopefully finish the fic by the time kickup reaches ensekai #but we shall see when i complete it id rather make it good than rush to get it out in time

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aslongasimhereyoureinvincible · 11 months

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what are your neurodivergent headcanons for hq characters?

asdfjhgfds sorry this has been in my askbox for a few days ive been busy w/ Life Stuff TM but anyways ND haikyuu headcanons lets gooo

hinata:

ik bc hes Sunshiney and Loud lots of ppl read hinata as adhd, which i can deffo see, but personally i read him as autistic

hes extroverted and good at adopting introverts (kageyama, kenma, yachi, tsukki) but when u stop to think abt it hes also actually kinda bad at social ques and 'normal' behaviour?? i think ppl dont notice bc hes also rlly nice but hinata is actually pretty blunt lmao

his special interest is literally volleyball cmon now

its canon that he dislikes being in classes too long or doing homework bc he finds sitting still for too long difficult, both me and my autistic older brother used to get up and pace around our classrooms when we were younger

even though hes rlly athletic and has insane reflexes obviously, hes also pretty clusmy and especially bad at judging distances which to me looks like dyspraxia which is really commonly comorbid w/ autism

ive also read a few fics where he has tourettes syndrome w/ body tic and i can deffo see why ppl would hc that

idk hes just reads as autistic so well in my mind like idk why its not a more common take

kageyama:

this one is less of a headcanon and moreso just interpreting the text correctly; hes definitely autistic

like its my belief that furudate either knowingly wrote kageyama as autistic or like based his personality off of an irl autistic person they knew or SOMETHING bc its actually insane how well he reads as autistic

the lack of social skills? the anger issues? the deep special interest in volleyball? the just wanting to express your feelings/opinions but coming off as rude but not knowing how to fix that? middle school being a living hell? having that one family member who Got you? the high level of skill in one particular area? hes literally the texboox definition of autism

even the little things like how he files his nails and jokes go over his head and he accidentally insults ppl bc hes calling it how he sees it and how he basically had no friends growing up bc he was too focused on volleyball and how he struggles to smile on command like!!! thats autism babe!!!!!!

oh also hes dyslexic bc im dyslexic and i say so

ushijima:

same as kageyama i bet he was either knowing written as autistic or based off of an irl person who is

blunt as all hell, monotone voice and facial expressions, volleyball as a special interest, bad at social interaction, accidentally rude, the list goes on and on

like his whole thing about how his left handedness makes him different but is also a gift that benefits him in some ways? thats a metaphor for neurodivergency dont @ me

oikawa:

i hc him as having narcisstic personality disorder, not in the ableist reddit-user 'all ppl w/ npd are evil manipulative abusers' way but in the ' i have npd and know what it actually looks like' way

hiding massive insecurities by acting like youre amazing?? that fuckin marina lyric thats like 'i feel like im the worst so i always act like im the best'?? that was abt oikawa tooru and npd

feeling threatened the second someone as good or better than you shows up? fixating on one specific thing that you have to be the best at? those are npd as fuck traits

the way he can basically get along with anyone and adjust his play style to suit them but only has a few close friendships where he can let his true personality rlly shine through

hes literally so npd coded augh <3

bokuto:

i read him as adhd and having cyclothymia

i think he was unmedicated in high school and unknowingly had depressive and hypomanic episodes which affected his play

he also very much reads as having rejection sensitive dysphoria if u ask me

and the way he talks and bounces around and has All That Damn Energy gives me adhd vibes, esp pared w/ his poor volume control ad the way he ignores social cues lol

okay quickfire round bc im getting tired of typing

atsumu is autistic, so is osamu for that matter, theyre just at very different points on the spectrum and rub each other up the wrong way a lot of the time bc of it

kita is also autistic bc no neurodivergent person is that particular about doing things the 'right' way

hoshiumi is autistic and adhd

asahi and yamaguchi read like they struggled w/ anxiety and depression

sakusa has ocpd and ocd (contamination ocd specifically) and mysophobia

kyoutani has aspd, again not in a 'aspd = violent agressive psychopaths' way but in a 'i actually have a cluster b personality disorder' way, and adhd also

kenma is autistic and has social anxiety

yachi has social anxiety too bc cmon now

tsukki reads to me as having chronic depression, i think i could also make a case for him being autistic too ngl

tendou is some flavour of neurodivergent, probally audhd, probably some other stuff, idk but hes definitely not neurotypical

like hinata, lev reads as autistic to me even tho hes got that goodball energy thatd make lots of ppl read him as adhd bc like,, he just fuckin sucks at social interaction like he is accidentally rude all the damn time lmaoo

fukunaga and aone are both autistic w/ selective mutism and/or partial to moderate non-verbalness

obviously its none of my business and i think having headcanons abt irl ppl is Fucking Weird but i wouldnt be surprised if furudate themself was autistic bc truly so many characters in haikyuu can be read that way if u ask me, although maybe im just projecting lol

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu!! headcanons #q and hey hey hey!#tumblr: akiraetzchen #og post //#theres prolly more im missing but these r off the top of my head #obvi theyre just hcs tho ppl are free to have different interpretations #except kageyama being autistic. i KNOW im correct abt that one.#also i promise this blog isnt dead i do still love haikyuu v much im just also super obsessed w/ bluelock rn

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toadcroaky · 4 months

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im trying to absorb info abt tcoaal from your blog and i think ive picked up on a lot, but would you mind describing what the different routes are? like burial, decay, etc.?

Warning I’m fixing to go on an insane tangent.

ok so like there’s only 2 chapters out rn and the first chapter ends the same but in chapter 2 there’s 2 (3 kinda) choices you can make that drastically alter the ending. (There are 2 main paths but like 5 endings some are just barely different I’ll get into that in a minute)

In the basement when you have your parents tied up ready to sacrifice to the demon (they deserve it trust me) both siblings get a choice to essentially “choose” eachother.

Ashley has to chose to trust Andrew alone with their parents when he asks her to go get all the money off their moms credit card. She knows their parents always liked him more because he’s more outwardly “normal” and is scared they’ll convince him to turn on her as soon as she leaves. If you choose to trust Andrew, that’s one step closer to the Burial ending, what some people consider the “good ending” (it’s subjective, there’s still another chapter to release so we don’t know for sure!)

but if you choose to pitch a fit and say you don’t trust Andrew alone with them Andrew gets PISSED and is like I’ve already killed for you we literally have our parents tied up at gunpoint and you STILL DOUBT ME?? and that triggers the Decay ending which some consider the “bad ending” (again it’s subjective since we don’t Really know what will happen in ch. 3)

But even then, if Ashley chooses to trust Andrew and leaves he is also faced with a choice. Immediately his mother starts questioning him and telling him it’s not too late to turn on Ashley and let them go they would help him get a job, get back on his feet, etc. (keep in mind they’ve already betrayed him once by selling them both out to organ harvesters and then collected on faulty life insurance on the both of them)(like I said they deserve this)

Andrew gets the choice to either accept or decline his mothers olive branch. Now BOTH of the siblings have to choose eachother in order to get the Burial ending, but only one has to fuck up in order to get the Decay end. Basically if Andrew chooses to “accept” his mothers olive branch he straight up tells her he would if he could but Ashley has already drug him too far down to quit and he hates it and he hates her but this is how it has to be. He resigned himself to hating her for the things he feels he “has” to do and is bitter about everything and is ready to burn everything to the ground.

This is the ending where when Ashley has a vision where he chases and violently kills her with his butcher knife. Now this is where the decay route get interesting. There’s a third choice earlier in the game where in Andrew used Ashley’s gun she stole from the warden to shoot a hot man who’s been following them there’s a “Shoot.” And a “SHOOT!!!!!” Option, the later being Andrew emptying the entire clip into the guy so now they have no bullets.

Flash forward, if you get the decay ending then as Ashley is being hunted through her dreamscape by Andrew, if there’s bullets in the gun she can choose to defend herself and kill him. Or. She can put the gun down and let him kill her. Picking this option Andrew still kills her but it’s.. cleaner than if she couldn’t defend herself and she also says the saddest line in the ENTIRE game;

“Bye-bye Andrew, I had fun!”

And he turns to cradle her cheek before saying “I’ll see you in a little bit.” before slotting her throat.

I didnt play the Decay ending but that fucking broke me watching a play through.

I much prefer the Burial ending, which is where both siblings choose each other and say fuck social norms, what has society ever done for us we only have each other. Andrew is much friendly and open in this route and is unbothered by the act of butchering and eating their parents corpses. Even Ashley is shocked that he has next to no reaction to this and says he’s acting different. This is because in this ending Andrew chooses to unmask and is no longer concerned with what’s “normal”. (Even though he’s still concerned with avoiding any and all consequences to their actions, this is a core characteristic of his)

After they eat their parents Andrew suggests she try for another prophetic dream and this time he wants to try it too so they lay on their parents bed holding hands with the demonic trinket clasped between them.

In this route Ashley can have 2 different dreams and depending on how you do a certain puzzle in her dreamscape, unlocks the INCEST ROUTE (AKA the best route and I’m not even saying this for horny reasons it’s just true) doing this means they both share of vision of them post-coitus etc etc. I’m sure you’ve seen it.

They both wake up and Andrew is BEET RED and begs Ashley to tell him they would never do that. Note that for once HES giving her all the veto power implying that he wouldn’t be able to stop himself if she offered. You can say “Never” or “Never say Never” the former giving you the no-incest or Sane route and the latter obviously doubling down on the incest lol.

And yes you can still do the burial route and not do incest, this is called the “Sane” route and basically Ashley just has some weird puzzle dreams and Andrew sees nothing. The only difference is Andrew isn’t as friendly and playful with her as the incest route and ch. 2 ends.

So basically as of chapter 2 there’s 5 different “endings”

Burial

> Incest or Sane

Decay

Gun with no bullets > Andrew kills Ashley violently

Gun has bullets > Ashley kills Andrew in self defense OR allows him to kill her and he does so quickly.

I should also add that in Decay no matter what happens with the gun Andrew is always implied to kill himself right after he kills Ashley. He refuses to be separated from her and expects to see her in whatever version of the afterlife he believes in.

Anyway I’m sorry if this is incoherent but I just LOVE talking about this game I could do it all day if there’s anything you’re still curious about let me know!!! There’s also YouTube play throughs but I definitely recommend buying the game it’s so worth it.

#asks #tcoaal #the coffin of andy and leyley #texty text #I’m writing this all on my lunch break LMFAO

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