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gyuswhore · 1 year

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How to Win Hearts for Dummies (the answer is lattes and banana bread)

Idol!mingyu x makeup-artist!reader

genre: fluff, angst, one sided pining

warnings: slow burn, swearing, shitty bosses, some descriptions of anxiety and breakdowns, one sided pining, reader has issues opening up (lmk if there's anything else)

13.4k words (im sorry)

plot: This apprenticeship was taking a toll on your self control in the worst possible way. Walking in 8 months ago, a resignation from your corporate job and a dream in your pocket, you made an oath to stay focused on the goal at hand and to enjoy what you did for a living for once; makeup. Except, your still stuck as an apprentice with a mentor that has no inclination for your growth.

And you’re a little bit in love with your client.

masterlist

(A/N): repost bc Tumblr wouldn’t show it in the tags!!! Thank you for clicking on this clonking my pants as I hit post ! I started working on this at the beginning of exam season and I’m posting it the night before my last exam 🥲 what a full circle moment. Also pls excuse any inconsistencies or grammatical errors, my beta reader, unlike me, actually cares ab her grades and is in the beginning of exam season and therefore will not be able to read through this monstrosity for a while lmao. Enjoy hehe

Edit: I’ve just realised how many mistakes and grammatical errors I’ve made throughout the fic, serves me right for proofreading at 3 AM after a stats exam. I’ll try to fix them all asap!!!

The camera goes off again with a distinct click. And again. And again. And again.

The camera had gone off innumerable times since Mingyu walked out in another themed ensemble, and you were there, watching, through all of it.

You watched as he kept switching positions, rotating his body and his head. Morphing his features into more variations of dazed and serious than you thought could ever exist.

Standing there, at the portable table behind the main setup, attempting to clean a lip brush that would be needed soon when the inevitable call for-

“Makeup over here! We’re taking 5”

You note your sluggish pace as you snap out of your daze and scrubbing harder with the removal cloth. Snapping your head down, hoping nobody noticed your incessant heart eyes, you realize you were in trouble now.

‘Y/n, you’ve been cleaning that brush since I left 10 minutes ago!’ The senior makeup artist snapped.

You finish up the brush in hand and quickly hand her what she needs, not before rummaging for the tiny pot of lip product you absent-mindedly packed away.

‘Sorry, really sorry’ you choke out before she leaves in her badly concealed irritated expression. You see her make a beeline for a waiting Mingyu, who adorably squats for the woman so she has better access.

This apprenticeship was taking a toll on your self control in the worst possible way. Walking in 8 months ago, a resignation from your corporate job and a dream in your pocket, you made an oath to stay focused on the goal at hand and to enjoy what you did for a living for once; makeup. Except, your still stuck as an apprentice with a mentor that has no inclination for your growth.

And you’re a little bit in love with your client.

It's not that you were overage (your mother begs to differ), but considering you were on your second big girl job and still no sign of a potential lover, the prospect was starting to weigh on your head. The first rattling experience was when one of your closest friends announced her engagement, your thoughts still stuck in a 19 year old you considered she was too young. She was not, in fact, 19, or too young, but a perfectly acceptable age to consider marriage with someone she loved, you had soon realized. You were never one for the dating scene, but you were always one to don your Dr. Love labcoat whenever an emotionally bruised friend would come seeking help. You were good at advice, but awfully bad at applying it yourself.

Coming into this job, surrounded by a plethora of beautiful people, your heart would be of stone if it weren’t to waver.

The gong of unattainability had struck the second you laid eyes on Mingyu, laughing at something Hoshi had shown him on the phone. There he was, hair and makeup-less, looking like he had just rolled out of bed (which he had), and beautiful as ever. Beginning this new chapter with a bang, only problem was that it turned into an 8 month shoot out. Having encountered a number of gorgeous people, you’d learned to appreciate their genetic lottery pull and move on. But never had a single look left you as breathless and unbeared as that one, fateful look at Mingyu. One of the team members was busy assuring you not to worry too much about the pandemonium in the dressing room, that everyone would handle it and you were only asked to observe and help with smaller things as instructed; for now. You weren’t listening too hard though.

You were now adjusted to the chaos that comeback season and 13 men plus staff in a microscopic dressing room brought about. But you will never forget how in the midst of your first rain of hell, Mingyu had asked you to pass his phone.

‘Please?’ He had said, and you slammed your hand with a force of a woman infatuated on the table behind you and (literally) breathed out the first thing you had ever said to him.

‘Here’

He smiled and gave you a quick ‘thanks’.

There was no coming back after he flashed you those irresistible canines, and to this day, you wonder what nation you saved in a previous life to be able to have him know your name, hear it roll off his tongue in his pretty voice as he asks you to fix his smudged eyeliner.

You sigh defeatedly before your mentor slash irritated makeup artist shoves her load back in your hands and instructs you to come inside to pack up. It’s become routine for you now, as you begin to pack up the bigger palettes and tools, handing a ready-to-go-home Junhui the pack of makeup wipes he asked for, zipping up bags and closing tubs of outfits. It's an organized chaos but one everybody has grown to work around.

Mingyu is done before you, as he removes his jewelry and begins to shrug off his jacket. You scramble to find the clothes he came in and his coat, pointedly ignoring the familiar scent of wood. He thanks you and shucks off the remainder of his clothing, he might be used to stripping in front of professional staff, but you look away regardless for your own sanity.

Helping the last stylists hang the final jacket, you grab your bag and get ready to leave in your own car. Mingyu has left, not before throwing a “you did well, thank you!” over his shoulder at the remaining people in the room and leaving for the honking car outside.

***

Your mashing bananas in a bowl at 12 AM when you start thinking. Impulsive baking sessions had become a norm since you started working with Seventeen, needing to keep yourself occupied to stop spiraling. Mingyu was a recurring topic (surprise surprise), but one that quickly faded when you begin to think about what the future holds for you. You start mashing the banana harder. You consider the idea that you can’t complain, being in a position some of the most well seasoned pros had difficulty reaching. Being a single young woman and being allowed so close to some of the most unattainable men was seen as near impossible. You’d like to think it was your skill that got you here but can never seem to fully rule out a processing error.

It’s hard, being stuck in the same place. Your apprenticeship should have ended 2 months ago, but even if it had, you’d still be doing the same thing. The senior artist trusts no-one but a select few to work on the boys for photoshoots, events, music videos. People like you are left to sanitize sponges and clean the fallout.

You crack an egg on the counter and it splits open entirely, falling on the floor, yolk and all. Your inability to grow stays within the idea that you can’t really do your artistry like you want.

And how you never learn to crack your eggs on the bowl.

***

Showing up on the Going Seventeen set, you rush to the dressing room way earlier than you should. Being completely honest, you’re really only rushing because you want to maneuvere yourself to do Mingyu’s makeup before somebody else snags him. This was one of the very few engagements where you were occasionally allowed to take charge on makeup. Not that it was required for the show much at all; intensity and occasion wise. Your rare (possible) moment to (maybe) come into Mingyu’s organic notice was an opportunity never to be dropped by you.

You help setting up everything on the counters as the boys begin to (loudly) file in the rooms. You see Mingyu walk in and move to ask him to sit down once he’s done discarding his coat. He was first in line and you ‘happened’ to be the first one ready to begin working.

‘Is the eye makeup heavy? I just got a sty removed and I don’t know if I should be putting anything on at all.’ He asks as he sits down and you ready your damp sponge.

‘Not really, just smoothing things out. It should be fine.’ you say as you begin to press the compact on his cheek.

Your not really sure why, because you’ve never been able to muster anything above brief replies when in contact with him, but something in you pushes you to keep talking.

‘I’m surprised they even asked for us, they rarely ever do’ you continue, heart pounding so hard you’re afraid he might hear it.

He breathes out a laugh ‘Yeah. They even started advertising the show on youtube and subway stations and stuff, I didn’t know until I saw someone talk about it online’

You smile at his response ‘Well, all of you work so hard, it's about time they pull this to a high scale production’

‘It's never really work if your having fun, we try to be ourselves on here’ He replies, still smiling slightly.

You’re damn near close to collapsing on the floor at this point. This is the longest conversation you’ve ever had with him. You opt to smile in response as you start to concentrate on his eyebrows. The rest of his face is done far too soon as you zone out and do what you do best.

‘All done’ you announce as you pull away from his lips, trying not to have yoour gaze linger.

“Y/n! Can you start on Vernon if you're done?’, another artist calls from behind.

‘Yeah, he can come up!’ you reply as Mingyu (regretfully) walks towards hair.

Just because you sew your mouth shut with Mingyu doesn’t mean it applies for the rest of them, you’re quite friendly with all of them and Vernon does well to remind you as he sits down and quips a ‘hey bestieee’ in an elongated greeting.

You audibly laugh ‘That’s another word I’ll be hearing for the next month’

‘Regretfully so’ He feigns sympathy.

‘Be quiet and look up’ you say with a fond smile before you get started on him.

***

You sit on the floor in front of your television, trail mix on the coffee table as the movie plays as background noise for your thoughts - again.

There’s a smile on your face, but you dont notice as you think about the small talk you made with Mingyu today, wondering if it could become a regular occurrence if you learned to keep your heart and mind in check.

You were never one to stand up and take effort to do what was right for you, which is why you were talked into choosing Business Administration by your friend in highschool, who you never speak to now because she decided to ditch you for another group who were more inclined to shuttle themselves to liver failure by partying every last weekend in your entire college career. You were talked into applying to corporate jobs by your counsellors as you started looking for make-up courses, needing to abandon your dream for the second time when you landed a decent entry level desk job. It took years before you decided to choose yourself for once and made the big leap after multiple courses you had took on the side. Life was starting to look bright after getting hired here, but you’re not sure if you overrode a high or if you went back to your old zipped mouth state after you settled in. Never sure if you expected too much or if things really were as stagnant as they felt.

***

Overmanifestation can be a thing. You're not really sure how it works but you’re reaping what you’ve sowed right about now.

You’re currently standing in an offside corridor in a hotel lobby, clad in a pretty white floral dress, and a nervous, fidgety Mingyu standing in front of you.

'I know I'm asking you to do something difficult and I know it seems pointless because I'm not doing anything wrong either that you have to lie about it'

This was supposed to be a staycation with your friends for you to relax and get your mind off things. Your ticket to relaxation has become a nightmare.

'And I understand I'm being super unreasonable but I'm really trying to keep it on the down-low as we get to know each other'

You were waiting with your friends on the couches positively stuffing your faces with the complimentary chocolate bowl placed on the coffee table as a couple other friends checked you guys into your rooms. You were laughing and talking with your group, carefree and ready to have a week of well deserved rest.

That was the plan anyway. Until you see someone across the lobby, also in line at check in. He had an unmistakable toothy smile,and was hand in hand with a concealed brunette.

Your smile abruptly falls in disbelief as you feel your world halt around you.

The same hands come up to brush the hair out of the woman's face to place a kiss on her temple, smiling wide.

The nauseating feeling of ice going down your spine is becoming more and more apparent. You attempt to swallow the lump in your throat but it's like trying to swallow a brick. You lick your lips and attempt to look away but your eyes keep feeding on the picture you painted yourself in your worst nightmares. Realizing you're on the brink of possible hyperventilation, your friend drops her head and asks you if you're okay. You look up at her, not knowing what to say as you realize that nodding furiously will convince her.

Mingyu has a girlfriend.

Of course he would. What were you thinking? This man is one of the most eligible bachelors in the country, why on earth would he be single? You’re unhinged, you decide, for thinking you may have a chance, when the woman turns around and you see her in full. She’s gorgeous.

A part of you still wants to believe that you're officially past the point of sanity and that you've begun to see Mingyu in every tall man. The universe, however, is cruel. He pushes his head up and in your general direction, and locks eyes with you in unmistakable recognition.

He stops smiling.

So here you are listening to Mingyu asking you to keep this a secret from the company, to forget the woman waiting for him in the lobby.

You can only nod in slight motions as he goes on his rant to justify his oath to secrecy, managing a tight lipped smile as you miraculously find your voice, hoarse as it may be.

'Don't worry about it, I understand' - ouch - 'it's none of my business anyway. I'll keep my lips sealed, I promise'

'Thank you, thank you, thank you I appreciate it so much, you don't even know. I'll repay you soon I promise'

'No, please, it's not-'

'No, Y/n I will. You're being really good to me right now and I'm so grateful. I'm sorry for putting you through this while you're off from work and with friends. It's worth to me that your listening and understanding'

You're tired. You want nothing but for him to stop talking. So you smile again and shake your head.

'I'm sure your friends are waiting, I won't keep you. I'll see you soon though!'

And with that he leaves. Back to the lobby where you see him take the woman by hand once again. You watch again as they walk to the elevators, stepping in and disappearing when the doors close. You watch the floor number rise.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5…

You walk back to your laughing friends before you can see where they got off.

***

Retiring to your shared hotel room with Chaeyoung, you fall back first into the crisp sheets and mattress.

'Why're you so depressed dude, did Mingyu say something to you?' She asks, a slight line forming between her brows.

'I'm fine, I've been up since 5 today it's just fatigue hitting me right now' you reassure, like always. 'I might not go to dinner with you guys, might end up with my face in the soup at some point'

Chaeyoung hums. ‘Take the night off so you can gear up for the rest of the week. I'm letting you off for now but I expect full attendance for eveything else we do', finishing with a mocking stern look.

'Yes ma'am' you feign salute from the bed, mimicking her stern tone.

You've known Chaeyoung for quite a while now, meeting her in your last year of uni. Trusting her as you do, you were never fully able to fess up about your feelings for Mingyu. Fear of judgment wasn't the problem, but more so the strange feeling of shame that overcomes you when you think about talking about it with other people. It's quite beyond you, why you act this way. You loved your friends and you knew they would support you with everything, they'd proved it when you'd made one of the most difficult decisions of your life while leaving your job. But the idea of having the audacity to love someone who could never do the same seemed like a feat of embarrassment.

Who are you, y/n? Who are you to have foolish dreams of a girl in love? With someone clearly fit for all things greater than you?

Maybe this was a good thing, you thought, the weird feeling in your stomach returning. Maybe this was the universe telling you to give up and move on, a kind of rejection that keeps your dignity. This was nothing but a reality check, a sign from whatever wants best for you, to bring your attention back to what brought you to Mingyu in the first place.

***

You didn’t see Mingyu for the rest of the trip, which you were grateful for not knowing how you’d react if you had to see him so soon after, that.

Back massaged and head clearer than it had been for weeks, you feel more in control of your feelings and thoughts regarding your life. You hope the conversation with Mingyu was the last stressful thing you’d encounter for a while.

It’s almost comeback season, you realise as you see the new concept photos while scrolling on your couch at home. This meant insanely early mornings for weeks on end, but you had to push through for your own sake. You’d come out of multiple comebacks needing a brace for a month but you wouldn’t trade it for the world. Never realising the true meaning of learning through experience, you were enlightened as you entered this new, very hands on field. The concept looked interesting, hoping the scraps of makeup you’d be allowed to do would be fun for you.

That ended up being true when you were, for the first time, asked to do Hoshi’s full makeup for their first comeback broadcast.

Your stumped silence was short lived as you hastily oblige and get the chair ready for him. You’d looked at the demo sheets and face charts too much for someone who wasn’t actually going to be asked to do much, but you see it pay off as you finish his eyes and get started on the rest of his face. It was easy for you to zone out as Soonyoung had passed out not even 5 minutes in, having someone hold his face as you worked.

You felt your chest swell with an indesipherable feeling as you watched him get up with your mastery on his face; pride, was it? You were getting emotional for no reason. Your attention, however, is moved sharply when you hear someone tell Mingyu it was his turn, finding him plopped on your chair staring straight into nothingness as he’d just been rudely awoken from his nap. He doesn’t realise it’s you for a solid minute as he tried to remember his own name.

‘Oh, hello’ he says, sort of confused. ‘Sorry, just give me minute’, he mumbles as he rubs his eyes.

He stretches back onto his seat signalling he’s ready for you to get started. You trying not to feel too much in your stomach as you begin.

You’re powdering his forehead when he says “I know I already said this but I really appreciate what you’re doing”

You know he’s talking about the conversation at the hotel, you were hoping you could avoid it.

“I told you not to worry about it, honest.” You reply, and somehow manage to choke out “It makes me happy that you’re happy”

You can see him trying to fight a smile, “Thank you for saying that”.

You wanted to stab someone. But you opt for gently brushing a base colour across his eyes.

“Do any of us know her, by any chance?” You ask cautiously.

“I dont think so. We met through mutual friends at a Christmas dinner, we didn’t start talking till she had to bring me a bunch of papers I’d left at my mom’s that day.” his face depicts someone reminiscing a fond memory.

It was cute, how it seemed like fate was trying to bring them together. It would've been cuter if you weren’t in a one sided pining with one of the two lovers.

“Well, I hope it works out for the both of you”

No you don’t.

“I hope so too”

You don’t hope that at all.

You felt guilty, feeling all of this. Hated that this was your first response to him wanting to be happy. Never would you have imagined stooping this low, hoping his happiness doesn’t work out for your sake. You’d like to owe it this being your first real infatuation, but you can’t help but wonder if this was really what you thought.

You decided to focus on the good news for today, that you’re finally allowed to do your actual job. You can only hope this wasn’t a temporary advancement, allowing time to tell.

Things remained the same the following day, much to your absolute elation. You were done doing 4 people’s makeup and was just winding down to take a break, quite satisfied with yourself. You observed as the rest of the boys got their hair done and run around, half in their outfits. You stifle a snort as you watch Jeonghan hide Minghao’s socks in his pockets as the boy tried to find them to put his shoes on, the former continuing to sip on his coffee seemingly unaware.

“Y/n, have you seen my socks? The green ones with the leaves on it?” Hao inevitable asks you.

You’re forced to feign confusion when Jeonghan pokes his head behind him signalling you to keep up the charade. He continues to look and you’re just about to have mercy on the poor boy before a to-go cup of coffee is shoved in front of your face.

You look up at the person and it’s Mingyu extending his arm at you expectantly.

“Oh, I didn’t order anything” you start, thinking you’re clearing up a confusion.

“I know you didn’t, got one for you anyway.”

There’s a record screech in your brain as you absorb his words.

“Think of it as me trying to repay the favour”

Oh. I see.

You’re a little embarrassed thinking he’d get one for you in that way, not when he had someone waiting on him. You accept the cup and mumble a thank you as he unexpectedly plants himself on the couch next to you.

“I saw you drinking lattes a lot of the times, so I just got you that. Hope that’s okay”.

Your silent for a moment before replying “Yes!” a little bit too loudly, eyes widening a little realisng your lack of volume control.

He knows your coffee order.

“Yes,” you say again in a normal tone and a slight laugh to cover up your inability to read the room, “They’re my favourite actually”

Kim Mingyu knows you like latte’s. This wasn’t good for your delusional brain.

Your conversation is cut short when the boys are called for roll call before they can prepare for the actual stage. You watch him get up and leave to file into the overstuffed elevators, not before he throws you the most adorable wave you’ve ever seen. You can’t hold back your smile as you wave back and look down at the drink he got you before taking a sip.

***

As it turns out, you did makeup for the rest of their comeback season, and Mingyu, without fail, got you an iced latte every single day before leaving to go on stage.

You tried to get him to stop, but he was rooted in his position and you didn’t have it in you to say no to his pleading eyes. It was a re-charge for you, when you’d seen him break into a happy smile, prominent canines that you’d grown to adore. He’d done more than enough to ‘repay’ you for swearing to secrecy, and you felt like you too, should should repay him the balance.

So here you were, making banana bread in your kitchen again, careful to remember to crack your eggs on the rim of your mixing bowl instead of slamming them on the counter. You’re stirring the flour in when a classified devious thought occurs to you.

These past two weeks were pivotal for both you and Mingyu, daily coffee’s meant daily conversations, which meant getting to know one another more. You’d exchanged phone numbers in the midst of all of this, to which ensued the agenda of staying up till midnight talking to each other about the meaning of life.

Setting down the whisk, you pick up your phone and sent the text before you chickened out.

[You]: I have a surprise for you.

[You]: You wanna come over? It’s better enjoyed fresh lol

[Mingyu]: Ma’am? 👁👁

[Mingyu]: That sounds a whole lot like a booty call

[You]: *attachment*

[Mingyu]: IS THAT CAKE??

[Mingyu]: omw 😮‍💨

You send the location and set your phone down, a jittery feeling going through your entire body. There’s a spring in your step as you slide the loaf into the oven and set a timer. You turn around your kitchen island and register the pigsty that is your apartment. The girls were over the night before and you had done nothing to enlighten the aftermath, pillows strewn across the entire living room and snack wrappers in places you’re not sure how they landed.

By the time you’re done and spritzed the place with some of your nicer perfumes, your taking the loaf out of the oven and on a rack to cool.

Ever the punctual man, you hear the doorbell ring just as your taking your oven mitts off.

Hoping you’ve done enough to your apartment to save yourself from embarrassment, you collect yourself and open the door for him through your ringcam. He’s barely through when your rushing towards your doorway.

“Hi!”

“Hey,” he grunts as he tries to slip off his shoes.

“‘aight, where’s my cake?” he demands once he’s done giving you a quick hug.

You roll your eyes and usher him to the kitchen, “First of all, appreciate how excited you are to see me, and second, its banana bread not cake, sorry to burst your bubble”

He responds to your grumbling with an “Oh come on, you can't put freshly baked goods on the agenda and expect me to pay particular attention to anything else”.

He has his trademarked grin and cheesy stare out on display like its nobody’s business, you want to slap it off of him in the most loving way possible, but you settle with a tiny “shut up”.

“I brought warm coffee this time, thought it’d go better” He sets the to-go carrier on the kitchen counter, following you to where you were attempting to slice the still hot banana bread on a tray.

“Oh, that was a good idea” you say.

“Where’re your plates and forks?” he asks, pulling out the drawers and cabinets you signal to.

It all felt too domestic for your weak heart to handle. Not to say it didn’t warm you to the core how comfortable he felt in your space, you did, more than you’d care to admit. But he needed to tone it down before you required an organ transplant.

You were seated on the floor, butts parked on floor cushions, backs against the couch. The coffee table held all of your goods while you both argued on which movie to watch.

“I can’t believe you haven’t watched any of the Harry Potter movies! No, we’re watching philosopher’s stone, I don’t care!” You shout in disbelief, already typing it into the search bar on the TV.

“Philly-philo- bro I can’t even pronounce it why would I watch that?!” He yells back, snatching the remote from you.

You’re both a giggling, screaming mess on the floor as you keep trying to steal the remote from each other, not stopping until one of you bumps into the table and you almost spill hot coffee all over yourselves.

You decide to call a truce and pick another movie entirely.

Just as you’re pressing play, Mingyu takes a bite of the still (surprisingly) warm banana bread and you watch as his eyes roll to the back of his head.

“This is so good” He says, his faced furrowed as he goes in for another bite. “Did you lace this with something, why is this so good?”

You’re biting back a snarky remark but you let it rip anyway; “It’s cuz these pretty hands made it”

You splay your hands out in front of your face, like your showing him your rings, fingers wiggling and a cheeky smile on your face.

He looks unimpressed as he scoffs. He swallows before saying: “At least you didn’t call the secret ingredient love or something”

“Excuse you, I’m pretty sure I heard you say that in some Gose episode” You remark.

He turns to you, all smug: “So your saying you watch Gose? Like, regularly?”

You immediately turn away from his taunting smirk, “Sometimes, if it shows up on my home page”

You take a sip of your latte before he asks you another sweat producing question.

“Oh, but you pay attention to me the most don’t you? Don’t you?”

He’s poking fun at you, you know that. But a paranoid part of you can’t help but think he’s onto you and your feelings.

So you say something maybe a little bit below the belt.

“You sure have a knack for seeking validation from the world when you have a partner already giving that to you”

The words tumble out of your mouth before you know it. In your defence, you're doing this for a greater cause, but it's still a relief when you see him comically gasp, hand to his diaphragm.

“Just because your alone in life, doesn’t mean you need to be salty about other people receiving actual love” He spits back.

Your sputtering trying to think of a response. Deserved.

He grabs a slice of the bread and shoves into your mouth to shut you up once and for all. You’re left chewing the mouthful and staring at him in shock.

He giggles and takes a sip of coffee, satisfied with himself. When he sets it down he opens his mouth to speak. Closes it again, like he re-evaluating, and finally decides to say something. He’s serious now.

“Ji Eun and I, decided it wasn’t gonna work out between us”.

Oh.

“Oh.”

He blows a raspberry and lets out a meek laugh.

“Yeah, oh. It’s whatever, it wasn’t meant to work out. Better sooner than later.”

You’re trying to find the words to reply or comfort him.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” You ask him, being careful to not lace your voice with pity, but more neutral and open. “You don’t have to, obviously, but it might be better to talk about what’s bothering you”

He pauses for a moment before starting.

“She wasn’t sitting very well with the idea that she had to share me. Like at all. She wouldn’t say it but she’d get mildly infuriated when I’d blow the fans a kiss or something, or interacted with the staff too much. I was getting home quite late certain days during comeback season and I’d find her outside the dorm at like 11 PM. It was embarrassing when all of the other members would see her there, obviously upset and basically yelling at me for, for - for literally just doing my job.I guess all the smaller things just started piling and she couldn’t take it. I tried so hard to make sure she felt wanted and secure in the relationship but nothing felt like it was ever enough. She was evasive or confrontational all at the wrong times and it came to a point- its a horrible thought to have in a relationship - but I was terrified she’d do something rash and I’d wake up to my face on articles for some reason - again”

You recollected the past couple years when Mingyu was thrown around in the media for a new accusation seemingly everyday. You weren’t involved with anything regarding the industry back then, but you’d heard enough news to be aware of what was happening.

Your heart swelled with sadness as you heard him talk, he sounded like he was trying- trying hard to be good enough. All for a person who seemed to have their priorities set somewhere else.

“She was amazing; kind and happy and confident. She treated my parents with respect, she was best friends with my sister. I know we only lasted like 3 months but at some point I really considered that she could be the one. But then the problems started and I realized she was only becoming an added factor to stress and anxiety for me more than anything else.

“I liked her because she was so family oriented, and I thought that was what would fit me because I’m like that too. But, I guess I’m just a different kind of oriented? I don’t know. I have a job that’s both interpersonal and unpredictable. There’s days where I don’t wanna get up and do work but I still love it nonetheless. I guess she just expected me to have a predictable, stable 9 to 5. Home in time for dinner, not requiring interaction with too many people; basically everything I can’t be.”

He’s silent for a moment.

You start talking after a couple beats.

“I really hope you aren’t taking this like it’s your fault. She made a choice to put up with your work, knowing how it would be for the both you. You tried your best but she made you feel like your best wasn’t good enough. I dunno about you, but that sounds like a really problematic conclusion. If she truly cared for you and what you love, she would never have been this unsupportive or not understanding”.

He’s listening to you, his expression is blank but you can tell he’s absorbing your words.

“I’d like to think I had realized that. But being completely honest, I’m not really sure when my thoughts go back to me thinking I’m the problem all the time.”

He manages a smile, a wide one, as he looks up to make eye contact with you; “But I know it’ll take me some time to really start believing that it’s not entirely my fault. We just weren’t compatible, and that’s fine. We left on good terms, and I’m happy about that.”

You smile with him as he finishes, but your a little confused when he starts sliding closer and down the cushions.

He sets his head on your shoulder.

You may have shortcircuited right then and there.

“Is this okay?” he asks you quietly, attention finally diverted to the half played movie.

You realise he asked you a question and you have to answer.

“Yeah, this is fine” You breathe out, somehow, by the graces of God himself.

No, you weren’t fine at all. You felt like the universe had flipped a faulty switch, mixed up the scripts, lost the plot, something. But as you get used to the weight of Mingyu’s head on your shoulder, you pray it won’t come back to haunt you in another chapter.

***

Your routine became inverted in the sense that, what you once had to plan out so intricately, is unfolding with no effort from you at all.

You find that Mingyu waits for you to be done with somebody else so you can do his makeup, instead of sitting on another free chair. He’d come to you specifically to touch up his makeup instead of going to an artist he saw closer to him. He never forgot to get you a coffee whenever it was that he saw you.

Mingyu hadn’t slept over that night, instead leaving in his car despite the 1 AM drizzle and your insistence for him to stay until the pour recedes.

Maybe it was better for you that he hadn’t stayed that night. Something about how you grew so close ‘organically’ made you feel like this wasn’t all in your head, that he’s choosing to be your friend.

You’re handing him his clothes as he begins to change, using the excuse to whisper to him;

“I was gonna try a new brownie recipe tonight, if you’re free you can come over?”

“I think I have somewhere to be after this but I’m free after, How’s 6?”

So there you are, back in your kitchen folding chocolate chunks into your brownie batter while waiting for Mingyu to get here.

Your phone dings from the island and you check to see a message from Mingyu sending you what looked like a grocery list; pasta, oregano, garlic…

[Mingyu]: Tell me what you don’t have from this

[Mingyu]: I’m at the store rn hurry up

You send him a list of what you don’t have, realising he intended to have dinner with you too.

[Mingyu]: k thanks

[Mingyu]: be there in like an hour

There’s a warm feeling that’s swelling in your chest, that makes you wanna punch a wall because your so happy. You choose self control, mostly because this apartment is on a lease but also you’d probably break your knuckles trying to punch anything harder than a foam mat.

By the time Mingyu’s here, the brownies are in the oven and you’re almost done with the icing. He unpacks the groceries (and the warm lattes) he bought while you finish up, confirming that he was trying a new pasta recipe tonight. Setting the brownies and coffee down on your usual coffee table, you decide wait a couple hours before starting on making dinner, instead choosing to hear him ramble about an idol he met at an award show.

“So, we start talking before we’re ready to go up- you weren’t there you were working on wonwoo’s makeup- and he starts complimenting me and so obviously I start complimenting him back”

He’s waving his arms around, and setting positions with coasters on the table trying to explain the setting.

“He asks me if I have a sister and I’m like… yes? Which I should’ve realised where this was going because he then” - he pauses to take a deep breath - “this absolute asshat decides it’d be funny to ask me for her number because apparently ‘if you’re this hot, I’m sure any sibling you have is too’ BRO, WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU SAY THAT - how are laughing at this?!”

You calm yourself down for a second to clarify, “NO! It’s just hilarious how he thought that was okay to say”

You’re still still giggling in shock when Mingyu calms down, now also laughing incredulously.

“But actually though, please tell me you smacked him” you manage.

“I would have,” he grumbles “I got called to fix my hair cuz I ruined it or something”.

“Oh well, now you know who to avoid next time,” you say as you guide a bite of brownie into his mouth, “Forget about it now, eat sugar, it’ll help”

He chews a bit before swallowing, all while you’re watching him with an endeared smile on your face.

“Y’know, I really thought you didn’t like me when you first joined the team”

You pause mid sip of your coffee, brows furrowed, “What do you mean?”

“You never really talked me, did you? You were friendly with the rest of them but it just seemed like you never wanted to enter a room if you saw me there”

You’re looking at him in utter shock, this man was mistaking your avoidant (yet also pushy) teenage crush behaviour for dislike.

He’s looking at you expectantly, a little pout on his face.

“I never disliked you, why would you think that? I promise everything was a coincidence, it was nothing like that”

“Don’t get so defensive, kinda obvious you like me now if not before” He laughs at your panicked expression.

He meant platonic like.

“I’m sorry I made you feel like that though, I’ve been told I have a pretty serious resting bitch face, it’s gotten me in trouble before” she smile sheepishly.

“It’s fine, you made up for it with that first banana bread” He says before taking another bite of brownie, “Could use more chocolate chunks”

You snort before pushing him with a sock clad foot, “Appreciate me even giving them to you”

You fall back to the adjacent sofa.

It’s quiet for a moment. But you feel like something’s shifted in the air.

You watch as he brings his hand to the same foot, holding onto your ankles. He’s caressing the exposed skin with his fingers, moving them back and forth. His eyes are glued to yours, looking like he’s in a trance. You’re not sure how to register this new change in mood, suddenly feeling like you need to turn the aircon on during the bleak Seoul winter. Just as you're hoping you don’t start sweating, you feel his vice grip on your ankle pull your leg over with a sharp tug. You scream as you lose support of the sofa and fall back.

You sit up in shock to find him leaning with his elbows on the floor, cackling like madman.

“Mingyu, what the fuck?”

“You-” He stops to laugh again, “You should’ve seen your face, PLEASE, it was hilarious”.

You huff before getting up shoving his shoulder with your foot again, “You’ve been playing guest a little too long, maybe it’s time you get started on that pasta”

“Will I be blessed enough to be receiving her highness’s help?” He asks.

He looks like a dream, clad in his T-shirt because he claims he doesn’t get cold. Hands behind him on the floor to give him support as he stares up at you, smiling wide. He’s looking at you with eyes full of stars and glitter.

You muster up the courage to give him a nasty glare, to which he huffs at and gets up, “Such a meanie”.

It’s hard to conceal your smile as his back his turned, sachaying towards the kitchen. You want to slap him and kiss him at the same time.

Your washing veggies in the sink when you turn around catch sight of his back as he stood at the kitchen island, sorting the rest of the ingredients. You get the same overwhelming feeling in your chest again, assuming you’re deluding yourself into thinking this is what life could be like with him. In less than 3 seconds, you’ve conjured a timeline of domestic routines, to wind down with him like this every evening.

You’re still lost in thought, still incessantly staring when he turns around and catches you in the act. He does the rude thing and snaps his fingers in front of your face to pull you out of your thoughts, “You okay?”

“Yeah” You say trying to gloss it over while busying yourself trying to find your cutting board.

“Are you sure? Do you wanna sit down at the island and watch me instead. You don’t have to help -”

“Pick a knife, and shut up dingus, it’s fine”

Once your both done eating and cleaning up, Mingyu hugs you goodbye, not before asking if you’d be free for lunch next week before he got busy the following month. You quickly agree, setting a date and time, bidding your (reluctant) farewells.

***

Once back in your apartment you realize how you can’t clean up to distract yourself because Mingyu took it upon himself to clear the space with you before he left. You sigh loudly and retire into your bedroom where you don’t have to think about how empty your living room is.

Changing into your pajamas and putting a headband on, you don’t even feel like turning your music on to do your night routine. You double cleanse, tone, serum, acid and moisturise your face with added purposefulness, taking note of the crevices of your nose and the neglected bottom of your chin. Taking extra time to make sure all of the foam is out of your skin before drying your face with a tissue.

You look at your fed skin in the mirror, and feel a weird surge of tears well in your eyes. Before they can fall you slam your bathroom cabinet to busy yourself to find your melatonin gummies, shoving them in your mouth before switching off the bathroom light and retiring to your bedroom.

Slipping the headband off and sliding into bed, you’re still chewing your gummies to a paste in your mouth. Trying not to notice how heavy you’re breathing you try to find your white noise machine, the one you found advertised for infants, and turn it on before grabbing your book to read for a few extra minutes.

Your staring at the pages like you found them to be blank. You’re phone dings next to you, signalling a notification.

Picking it up you find your mental health app sending you a daily reminder.

You’re allowed to feel your emotions.

***

Winter had run its course as you find yourself in April. You never really liked the cold, having been more sensitive to a gust of wind than the average joe, you were better suited to sitting with an aircon instead of being unable to move in the middle of Korea’s January cold rush. But alas, the cherries are blossoming and your fingers have defrosted.

That isn’t what’s on your mind right now though, as you’re standing in a Sephora, arms crossed and shoulders tense. You loved shopping for makeup, but you mostly chose to do it online unless you really had to otherwise. Parking yourself in the perfume section with the scents mixing together a cocktail of nosehair doom, you really wish you’d worn a face mask. Not to mention the migraine inducing coloured lights and mainstream pop playing in the background (you swear they’ve been playing Side to Side by Ariana Grande on loop since you got here).

These were all, however, peripheral observations for you, as you stare in absolute pneumonic shock at the number written on the price tag of the perfume you’re looking at.

Now, Mingyu is a man of class, high maintenance if you will. You’re well aware he likes to spoil himself, because he has a bank account to back it up.

Your bank account is definitely full and secure, but not enough for you to justify dropping what seems like half of its contents to something only one of the five senses can experience.

Mingyu mentioned in passing how he wanted this perfume a while ago, and knowing that he hadn’t ordered it for himself just yet, you decide to be the amazing friend that you are and surprise him for his birthday.

You may be regretting that right now, but you tentatively pick up the blue, crystalline bottle and spritz a bit on a paper strip before taking a whiff. It smelled good, that’s for sure, and it suited him too. So when the saleslady came to offer assistance, after you excused the last three, you decide you’re going to do this for him.

“Yes, could I have this in the box please?”

Walking back to your car you feel a bount of jitter run through you,

Oh, he’s gonna freak out when he sees this.

He did, in fact, freak when he saw it, and his reaction made you want to give him all of the good things in the world if you could see him like this all the time.

He’s smiling ear to ear and speaking in that high pitched voice that he gets when he’s excited. He’s thanking you over and over again, smoothing the box over in his hands repeatedly, looking at the ‘from: y/n :p’ with hearts in his eyes.

“I’m gonna save this for the rest of my life” he says, with determination and a goofy grin.

You snort at the declaration, “Sure, bud”

“I’m serious. What, you wanna bet?” he replies, taking a sip of his, latte, which you proudly credit yourself for swerving him over from Americano’s.

He insisted on going out to eat at this fancy French place a day before his actual birthday as he’d be busy on the day of, but it was risky for him to be seen eating out alone with a young woman at such a fancy place. You settled for a nicer traditional Korean restaurant, that allowed you to book a room away from possible prying eyes and one that you were both comfortable with. You decided to wait till you were back in the car with your post dinner coffee’s to give him his present.

“I’m giving you 3 months before that bottle’s dry to the dregs” You affirmed, “You smell like you empty half a bottle of something off your dresser everyday anyways”

You said it as an insult, but jokes on you because you loved the way he smelled.

“Fine, I’m gonna use this so carefully I’m not replacing it for at least a year”

“A year? What happened to the rest of your life?” you refute.

“I have you for that, don’t I”

What the fuckity fuck.

He’d turned to you, leaning on the headrest, that signature cheesy look; like he was in love or something. Voice dropping a couple octaves as he said it, laced with something defined and strong - enough for it to feel like the weight of an elephant had dropped on your chest.

You gather yourself after looking at him for a couple seconds, jaw unhinged and forgotten on the floor of his car. You chose to grab your cardigan that was neatly folded on the dash, and astral project it to his face across the seat. He’s laughing so hard there’s tears glistening in the corner of his eyes. He falls forward and you see strands of his hair fall to his face, he’d been growing them out.

“Shut up” you grumble in your seat, annoyed at how easy it was for him to send your heart through and beyond your chest.

He’s still giggling like a school girl, and you cave and give him a hint of a smile.

“There it iiiis” He announces, grabbing your face and smushing your cheeks together.

For a moment, he stops to look at you like this, like he’s contemplating. For one, brain rattling, organ exploding, microsecond, you think he might even kiss you.

Instead, he headbutts you slightly rubbing his head swiftly before letting go.

“I might need to wash my hands, I think I got your makeup on me” He mumbles, looking at his hands like a child with mud soaked palms.

“Serves you right, you buffoon,” You remark as you pull out your trusty travel pack of makeup wipes.

Yanking one out of the tab, you pull his hand over and try to wipe the remnants of foundation off, starting from the heel up to each individual finger. It’s silent as you concentrate on getting it all off both hands, he was wearing black tonight and knowing him he’d rub his hand over his pants and get beige foundation all over. You knew because you’d seen him do it one too many times.

“All done” you quip, looking up and catching his stare. He’s smooth to slowly look away and retract his open hands from your lap about 5 seconds after it became noticeable.

You busy yourself by attempting to stash away the wipes to throw out later, closing the pack of wipes and shoving them back into your bag.

He’s watching you do all of this, his stare is burning holes into the side of your head. He’s desperate to say something, but you’re not sure if you want to hear.

“Let’s go back to my place. We’ll stick a candle into a sheet brownie and call it your birthday cake. Oh, we can pick up ice cream too!”, You say, costuming your voice to sound unaffected by his vibe.

And so you did stick a candle in the fresh batch of brownies you both made at 11PM, two hours before his actual birthday. Sitting across from each other on the counter, Mingyu has his eyes closed shut, hands clasped, wearing a ridiculously coloured ‘BIRTHDAY BOY’ headband you found somewhere deep in your drawers.

“You’re gonna get wax on the brownies and they're gonna be inedible, hurry up” You groan, after everytime it seems like he’s done, he clenches his eyes shut again as he remembers another thing he has to wish for.

You’re not actually annoyed, he looks the cutest he’s ever looked, but you would appreciate non waxed brownies.

When he’s finally done, he blows out the singular candle and you clap lightly, “yay!”

You’re pulling out the candle and grabbing forks, dumping a couple scoops of ice cream on before you two start eating straight out of the pan.

Its a collection of groans as you both collapse on your couch, regretting eating all that so soon after dinner. He changed out of his dinner outfit to a T-shirt and pajama pants, he’d started keeping a set of clothes in his car when it started to become routine for him to spend regular evenings after work at your place.

You’re in your own unicorn pajama’s, slumped over on the arm rest slightly. You feel Mingyu scooch over to put his head in your lap, claiming he was “closing his eyes for a minute”.

You knew how lightning fast he passes out, so not even 5 minutes later you start to hear his light snores. As much as you want to wake him up to move him to the bed, you know he can’t stay the night. His birthday meant he had to be with the boys, and needing to head out early tomorrow.

So you give him 10 more minutes, fingers tracing the shape of his features, in his soft hair massaging his head with your nails slightly. He had a little pout on his face as he slept. Things had been hectic for him lately, having a comeback later in the month and the plethora of music and variety shows to follow.

Mingyu had been writing lyrics on the kitchen island one day, sputtering random words as you quipped in rhymes of your own without context, stirring the pot of soup on the hob at the same time.

One particular rhyme you spew out catches him off guard and he barks out a laugh at the ridiculous combination.

“I should put you on song credits for this”

“What do you think my producer name could be?”

He thinks for a second, “Banana bread sounds stupid, um, how’s brownie?”

“Cute, and serious enough” you agree, “I’ll be expecting to see my name on that album, sir”

Snapping out of your thoughts, you turn your attention back to the sleeping man curled up in your lap. You wonder if you could fall asleep on the couch too, keep him here with you for the night. Be a little selfish. It’d be nice, making waffles for breakfast when morning comes. But he needed to be at the dorm in the morning, the boys knew where he was but managers that’d come pouring in at 7 AM sharp, did not. And it was best kept that way. The last thing Mingyu wanted, you knew, was people getting the wrong idea. The thought stung a little bit, but you knew not to mix your hopes with what reality was giving you.

So you gather the courage to slowly reign him back from dreamland.

***

Your sitting with Mingyu and Seungkwan on the couches outside the dressing rooms, a little bit before they have to go to perform. You were done with your agenda and was waiting for them to start filing out before beginning to pack up.

“No, because why does he get to eat all the good stuff right out the oven and we don’t, that’s not fair” Seungkwan complained loudy to you, a mildly offended look on his face.

“Stop being such a complain bot, you’re never happy if I have nice things” Mingyu retorts, increasingly nasty looks being exchanged for an argument about freshly baked goods.

“Oh, I’m the hater?! Let me jog your memory, who was the one sulking and shoving me around when Y/n wouldn’t let you-”

Mingyu had jumped up and pulled Seungkwan into a headlock, his poor Americano half flying across the hall as he yells out in disarray.

“YAH!” cued with more noises of struggle and muffled threats.

You chose to embrace the violence by sitting in your seat and laughing as Vernon recorded their antics from the doorway inside eventually circing them for his supposed cinematic effect, catered for the inevitable weverse post that was to come.

Cut to them apologizing and cleaning up the mess of coffee and disregard.

You decide to be nice and attempt to make peace by reassuring Seungkwan, “Come over after you’re done promoting this week, I’ll make up for all the bread and cookies you missed out on”

“If you've finished with your escort duties Y/n, could you please come in and do your day job?”

The voice came from the doorway of the dressing room, your senior makeup artist standing there with her usual mildly inconvenienced expression. It took you a minute to fully understand what she meant by that sentence, your body completely still.

“Offended? What, like I’m wrong?”

You were no stranger to insulting behaviour in work places, but they’d always been revolving around your actual job description. People who didn’t like you knew they had to be smart on how they treated you regardles.

This was different. This felt like you were projected back in time to your solemn middle school days to mean girls taunting you about your spongebob socks, except multiply that by about a thousand.

You feel your stomach begin to churn as that nauseous feeling of shame began to settle itself into your veins.

You’re not sure how long you’ve been sitting there but when she slightly raises her voice; “Are you getting up or not?” your hands actively begin to tremble the slightest amount.

You’re making moves to get up by puting your coffee cup down, not knowing what to do except follow commands.

Your interrupted by a voice from behind; “She’s coming in, give us a minute”

Mingyu’s standing there, his expression stoic as Seungkwan and Vernon looked as stunned as you felt. You don’t register it in the moment, but the people in the hall, venue staff and those for other artists have also silenced, watching the scene unfold.

Her lips are in a tight line, her expression remaining irritated as she steps back inside the room.

You realise you need to do something to diffuse the escalated situation. Letting out a breathy laugh, you get up and tell them that you’ll be going inside, trying to keep your expression pleasant and unaffected, not waiting before turning around to spare them the burden of a response. People get yelled at everyday, and this is no different. You aren’t gonna be the one to make a scene out of a regular occurrence.

You know what's coming when you get inside, she’s waiting as she pulls you aside.

“Your behavior has been quite concerning recently, let me remind you of your place here and what you were hired to do. You've been dilly dallying with people who aren't even your friends, and its quite funny that you’d think they are. It's time to wake up from wasting your time making heart eyes at men who are way out of your league. I won't tolerate any more nonsense from you, and trust I won’t be this nice or forgiving the next time this happens”

You choose to nod your head.

“That’s another thing, use your own words. Don’t think other people are gonna be there all the time to speak for you” She spits out, her professional front slowly eroding the more she spoke.

“Yes, ma’am” You say, hoarse voice.

“Louder, next time”, she stalks out as majority of the people in the room also begin to leave for the filming downstairs.

You’re left standing awkwardly in front of the racks of clothes, trying to digest what just happened to you. Looking around the room, you try to figure out what your supposed to do.

Clothes on the couches, eyeshadow brushes on the floor. There’s a torn sponge resting underneath one of the chairs, a couple styrofoam boxes left on the tables from lunch.

There’s so much for you to do, you arent sure how you thought you had time to sit down and chat. But you’re not sure where to begin either. The room is a mess of smells and colours even without the buzzing noise of people getting ready. Tears begin to form as you try to navigate what you’re supposed to do, realising you can’t possibly find a starting point for any of this mess. Before you have time to think of anything else, a hand is holding onto your wrist, small and soft.

It’s Yoona, another one of the makeup artists.

“Y/n, I think it’s best if you go home, it’s been tiring.”

“But-”

“Don’t worry, I’ll handle her. Just trust me. Go home you’ll feel alot better”

She notices you hesitate for a second, and goes in to give you a hug.

It felt nice, to be hugged by a friend. For some reason, it didn’t feel like she was pitying you, her expression and aura reassuring you that you didn’t have to stand here alone.

“Whatever happened today shouldn't have happened, but you don’t need to think about that right now. Go home and do nice things for yourself, we’ll figure it out later. You have my number, give me a text once you get home. We can go out later if you want, when I get off work, to get your mind off things”

You’re not sure how you’re holding back the waterpark that has become of your tearducts as you hear those words from an unsuspecting friend, you nod with a smile. You feel a little more calm.

You can’t tell if you care enough to consider the consequences of your senior finding out how you’re doubling or nothing on your already posed humiliation. But the only thing you can think of right now is your bed and the ceiling you’d stare burn holes into.

So you, for the first time in a while, chose to choose yourself by picking up your satchel and leaving the chaos behind you as you walk to your car.

***

Just because you were brave where it mattered most doesn’t mean you weren’t allowed to cry.

You had come home, shot Yoona a brief text, and promptly began to sob the absolute Nile into your sheets.

You had never cried like this before, loud wracked sobs coming from a place in your chest you had locked away during a time you couldn’t even remember. You’re breathing after every choked cry is a sputtered intake of life, only to spit it back out as you let out another sob of what sounds like agony. There’s nothing in your head, nothing but the words that were spoken to you as echoes of your own mind. Hypocritical of you to hate them when the same words circled in your head like a mantra every cursed, unfortunate day. She had done you a favour, by spitting out the truth you’d stewed, chewed and kept in your mouth ever since you got here. This was a you problem, to believe that you were capable of things beyond your bracket. You were told by the universe, screamed at by the world, that this was never meant for you, and you chose to ignore it. You chose to be stubborn. You brought this misery upon yourself.

Once you’ve disposed your body weight of tears and snot and burden, you’re left to stare at your innocent sheets now stained with mascara and your sorrows. You crawl into your covers and rest your muscles for a few seconds, head empty. You aren’t sure when you drift off, but you're glad that you do.

You don’t dream for once.

***

You wake up feeling like you drank a gallon of water and went to sleep. Your eyes, nose and throat feel like they’ve been over watered yet dry at the same time. You don’t realise what’s really arising pangs of irritancy in your brain once you figure out the consistent sound is a door bell. You’re doorbell, of the house that you live in.

You’re slow to push yourself up, realising your slept in your day clothes. It’s dark out but you're not sure what time it is, and quite frankly, you can’t say you care enough to check. You need to silence your doorbell first, which can only be done by silencing whatever hell sent individual was playing drums on the button outside.

It’s a record screech in your brain as you peer through your peephole and realise who the aforementioned hell sent individual was.

Mingyu was outside your door.

You don’t realise you look like you crawled out of a sewer till it’s too late and you’ve already opened the door through muscle memory. Mingyu was always welcome in your space.

He was in casual clothes, his hair pushed back from the guessed hands that ran through it, but he was still in stage his stage makeup.

“Oh, were you sleeping?” He asks, eyes a little wide, expression cautious.

“Yeah.”

“I’ll go then, you weren’t answering your phone for anyone and you told Yoona you were home but you weren’t opening the door, i was worried. Sorry I ringed it so much I probably should’ve assumed-”

He stops to look at you, and it’s like realizes something before he finally says; “Just wanted to make sure you were okay, I’ll see you around. I’ll leave you alone”

“Wait,” you croak out, licking your lips, conscious of your morning voice, “Can you stay? Please? If you can.”

He stops to look at you, expression changing from sheepish to defensive.

“No! I mean, yes. Yes. I’ll stay. I’ll stay for as long as you want”

You let him in as he slips off his shoes and you lead him to the living room. His presence in the familiar place seems like it last happened eras ago, when he was only here maybe a week prior.

“You know where everything is, I’ll be back gimme like 5 minutes”

You’re scared to look at yourself in your bathroom mirror, so you don’t, and choose to scrub your face looking down at your sink. You change into a sweatshirt and trouser loungewear set, deciding to save your dignity a little bit further as you brush your hair and clip it back with a claw clip.

You take a breath before entering the living room again.

He’s sitting on the floor in your usual place, two steaming mugs on the coffee table, the tabs hanging out of the cup. He made you tea.

You sit down next to him, not really prepared for what you should be saying.

“How long has she been speaking to you like that?” He asks you quietly.

“She was always kinda itchy and uptight and stuff but, it was never like this” You say.

“Regardless, whatever that was, it was, wrong, uncalled for, all of those things” He says, sputtering a little bit.

He stops and sighs. It’s silect for a minute before he turns in his seat to face you, grabbing your folded legs and pulling you to face him too.

“Yoona heard everything she said to you after you went in, she heard it all. And she knows about some other stuff too. If you think, even for a second, that I’m not your friend, I might actually think there’s something wrong with you.

“If everything we’ve been through this past, almost a year, doesn’t amount to us at least being friends then I don’t know what it means to have one at all. You’re the first person in a while I’ve been able to be this open with. You know me better than most people, you’ve seen me at my worst and at my best. I’ve let you read me all you want, because I know I can be an open book if it’s you. I trust you more than I can trust myself sometimes, and I really wish you would trust me too.”

You’re watching him as he says all of this, you look up to make eye contact a couple times, and he’s looking at you everytime you lift your head.

“I do trust you. Probably more than anyone else. It’s myself I don’t trust. It’s hard for me to open up, I’m scared I’m gonna say something that’ll scare you away. And, I just thought maybe she was right today, that I need to realise that it can’t be that way between us, I have a job to do”

“What can’t be between us?”

“I like you, Mingyu. Like, I’m basically in love with you and have been since I fucking met you. I couldn’t believe that you could possibly be friends with someone like me, a confused, all over the place airhead who can’t tell right from left sometimes, forget you ever liking me. All that happened is that we became friends and I thought that this was as far as fate was gonna push us. All today told me was that … that was an overextension too. It was a wake up call that I can’t have everything in life. Things were going too well for us and I was letting myself think it could stay that way forever. I’m sorry for being this way, I’m sorry for making you feel uncomfortable and out of place. This is the last thing you’d want to hear from a friend and I’m sorry I’m putting you in this situation right now and that you had to go through that today-”

You don’t finish what your saying because you're interrupted. Interrupted by arms pulling you forward and into Mingyu in front of you.

Your both sitting in your living room at 3 AM, on the floor in front of your sofa like you both have so many times. Except now, Mingyu is holding you in his arms, and kissing you so delicately it hurts.

It’s warm, like getting into bed after a long day, the scent of home and security engulfing you as you begin to forget about the qualms of life.

He’s moving his lips slowly, with care and a feeling so overflowing you can’t describe.

He lets go slowly and rests his forehead against yours, his arms are around you tight, legs wrapped around your entire body so you can't escape - physically or mentally.

“You dumbass” You hear him say.

“I love you,Y/n. More than anything. And I need you to know that you don’t have to hide. If you think your thoughts are a burden then I want to carry it for you. I want you to realise you’re not alone. I want you to stop pushing me away. Everytime I want to do something nice for you, you try to push the effort to something else, everytime I try to take care of you, you have this look that makes me think you feel guilty for taking up my time or something. Everytime I think you’re about to ask me to stay the night, you remind me I have priorities and I should go, even though I know you want me to stay with you. I want you to stop caring so much for how other people feel and realise you can demand the same from the universe too. You deserve love and to be treated with care. You need to let people do that for you, love.”

Your looking at him now, your turn to have stars in your eyes.

He loves you.

And you feel it. You feel it in his words, in his eyes, in the kisses he’s leaving on your face, in his arms that are wrapped around you, ready to shield you from the world.

You don’t say anything as you fall into his chest, head on shoulder, relaxed body in the cage he’s made for you. You close your eyes as the tears are burning down your face. Except, this time they’re because your relieved.

You both got up from the uncomfortable floor and moved to your bed, still tangled within each other as you clarified everything else.

You found out that majority of the people who heard it were very upset at the situation, but didn’t know how to approach or confront her.

Seungkwan almost bust a blood vessel after he had digested what had happened, disbelief and threats on his tongue as he refused to get touched up by her during filming, apparently making a point to walk to somebody else. Seungcheol was thinking of trying to bring up the problem to management, considering how Mingyu too was distracted all the way home.

“The rest of them have gotten quite protective of you too, I think. It’s not like I shut up about you”

Apparently the only reason you were asked to start taking charge on makeup was because some of the other senior artists pressured your mentor to stop restricting you. It made you feel a little more secure that it wasn’t just you that felt pushed down.

She didn’t like that you were doing so well, considering it meant she was wrong about you and your abilities. It hurt her ego a little bit that people stopped preferring her to do their makeup or their touchups, how they wouldn’t interact with her the same way.

“Alot coming from a middle aged, married woman, attention seeking like a child” Mingyu added, scoffing with a sour face as he nuzzled into the crown of your head.

“The boys really like you by the way, they’ve been rooting for us since forever” He says, and your heart swells unimaginably so; you felt loved, so so loved.

You scooch up to plant a kiss on the underside of his chin and then one on his lips.

“That makes me happy”

“I’m happy that you’re happy. You deserve to be happy, everyday” He smooches you on the face again. “Oh, and don’t worry about that stinky face I’ll take care of her”

You laugh at the determination in his voice, but you wanted to clarify something.

“Please, let me handle her myself. I’ll ask for help if she’s stubborn but I wanna try by myself first”

“That was hot”

You push his chest away as you bark out a laugh at the random comment, hiding you face, by turning the other way.

He battles that by pull you back into his chest and continuing his atics

“What I can’t call my girlfriend hot. You’re hot. Your the sexiest motherfucker I’ve ever seen” smooch “You’re beautiful” and again “amazing” and again “gorgeous spectacular-”

You don’t fall asleep until the sun has well made its way up the sky, taking the executive decision to sleep in till way past lunch and maybe even take a nap afterwards.

You don’t care how it goes, because your happy just being with him.

***

You met with Yoona a couple days later at a cafe.

“Seungcheol asked us if we were facing the same kind of behaviour from her too. And everyone told him she was stuck up and rude and stuff. He said he wanted to bring it up to management but it didn’t really concern him directly so they wouldn’t listen. He told us to do so ourselves and we thought about it, but we’re gonna need to tell them about that too”

You nod your head as you listen to her speak, it was making sense.

“I dont mind going up to management at all and talking about it. I get that the rest of the stuff is a little too tame to be considered, which sucks because she shouldn’t be talking to us like that at all”

“Mhm, and I was thinking we could vouch for you on how she was restraining you for almost a year. Basically not letting you do your job. That’d be a another thing for them to think about”

“Yeah. Let’s do it asap, how’s this Monday?”

“Perfect, I’ll add everyone to a group chat and let them know”

And go up to management you did, who were surprisingly understanding. Apparently having received multiple reports and even videos of the most recent incident to act as proof. It was working out for all of you, and it proved to stay that way as they responded with a promise to shift her to a different department.

You had gone home that day feeling fulfilled and relieved. Mingyu, a man with spectacular timing had also proceeded to send you a text as a distraction,

[Mingyu]: Kwan wants to come over

[Mingyu]: something about croissants

[Mingyu]: Should he text you ab it?

[You]: yeah ofc

[You]: I’ll order the butter

[You]: you tell him to text me lol

Two nights ago felt like it happened last year with all the unimaginable advances deciding to happen within the past 48 hours. Right now you were more excited for the company you were about to recieve, more concerned with making sure you made the best batch of croissants Seungkwan ever did see.

***

You were in the car with Mingyu outside the company building, waiting until the clock struck 9 to go inside.

Today was the last day you’d think about this, being called up for a face to face meeting with the staff member, so she could formally apologise. The team had planned a dinner tonight, to celebrate the end of her ‘wicked reign’ as Yoona described it.

You were finding friends everywhere, ones that were always there, pulling through for each other as you yourself navigated a new direction of thinking for yourself. You were learning to walk past your anxiety ridden desire to draw lines with everyone, as you took the first step with the dinner tonight. It would be fun for you, and a bond you’d begin to build.

You learned that you weren’t delusional anymore, and that Mingyu did love you the same. It had only been a week or so, but one of the happiest weeks of your life, despite everything. He was teaching you more lessons than he thought he was.

Mingyu squeezes your hand from the driver’s side as it was past 9, “Let’s go?”

“Lets go”

***

Mingyu’s way too enthusiastic as soon as he wakes up, indulging you in a morning (afternoon) makeout session, claiming he doesn’t care for you morning breath.

“Well I do!” you exclaim, pushing him off with a giggle “About your morning breath, stinky”

He clutches his chest in dramatic offense, “How could you? I thought you loved me”

You respond my projecting a cushion to his face.

“Do you want pancakes or eggs for breakfast?” You ask, legs hanging over the bed.

Mingyu looks up, a wicked glint in his eye, and you immediately know he’s going to say something of no help.

“I want you for breakfast” He says, grabbing you by the waist and pulling you back in bed.

“MINGYU!”

Needless to say, all was well.

#seventeen #carat #svt #svt fluff #svt scenarios #svt imagines #seventeen fluff #mingyu #mingyu fluff #mingyu angst #mingyu fic #mingyu x reader #mingyu imagines #mingyu scenarios #kim mingyu #svt x reader #em.writes

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yenqa · 1 year

Text

how enha reacts to you getting glasses!

pairing : enha x reader :))

warnings : kissing, mentions of dying (like someone saying “im going to die” as a joke)

wc : 0.7k

a/n : my first time doing an ot7 thing :)) also not proofread!! pls tell me if there are any errors

heeseung - when he first sees it he’s in shock, (internally) because all he says outside is like “you look nice” which lowkey hurts your feelings because like does he think you look ugly or sum?? 🤨🤨 but like he doesn’t want to be teased by you because he thinks your so cute!! like he can’t stop looking at you and he thinks he’s discreet about it (but he’s not) so you confront him about it and he finally admits that he thinks you are the cutest, prettiest person alive and he keeps like pinching your cheek.

jay - hes the one that helped you pick your glasses out. so when you grab the one and put it on he knows it’s the cutest one on you, he steals the glasses from your hand and asks for those frames with your prescription. while you wait for them to be ready it’s all he can think about honestly. like he could be in the middle of working and think “y/n with glasses is so cute 🥰🥰” like this sounds really unrealistic but I DONT CARE 😜😜 and when u get the glasses he’s more excited than you! he quickly takes a photo of you with the glasses so he can put it as his lock screen and he looks at it and smiles every time ☹️☹️

jake - hes actually like jumping once he sees you, he like cups your face and looks into your eyes because he thinks youre so pretty :( he cannot get enough if you bro. and he’s so clingy afterwards like he can’t be away from you! also he like steals your glasses to put them on and like poses for you like “do i look good y/n? maybe i should get glasses” and he tells everyone he knows about them like “did you know y/n got glasses!?” UGH I LOVE THIS MAN.

sunghoon - he teases you for it, like he calls u four eyes and everything. but he doesn’t think you notice his lingering stares or him hugging you more often but you do. the thing is he’s too shy to upright tell you the glasses look so cute on you, so he does the opposite and teases you about them. he finally breaks his mask when you pretend to be sad because you think he doesn’t like them and he showers you in compliments and explains himself, to find out it was a prank 😠😠, he tickles you until you sincerely apologise.

sunoo - once he sees you, he fr starts squealing bro, like “ahhh y/nnie! you’re soo cute!! i’m going to die!!” and like kisses your cheek a bunch :((. he takes a selfie w/ you immediately and puts it as his wallpaper :(. he sometimes accidentally touches the lenses of your glasses and you get (jokingly) mad at him and he’s like “y/n-ah im sorry ☹️☹️” and you HAVE to forgive him bc he’s so cute!!

jungwon - when you walk in he literally starts blushing. like you? in GLASSES??? he just stares at you until you’re like “what? is it bad?” and he’s like “no not at all babe, you look so gorgeous!” and he thinks you HAVE to show him what you can see now so he makes you try to read a book from far away and you’re like “jungwon i can’t see that! i don’t think anyone can 😠😠” and he just giggles and moves it farther until you start laughing with him :)

niki - similar to sunghoon he has to tease you like he calls you a nerd and also calls you four eyes. especially if you’re like a reader he teases you to the max! like “can’t believe i’m dating a nerd 🙄🙄” and you’re like 😐. he also like takes you’re glasses and is like “y/n what number is this?” and he puts his hand in front of you like right in your face thinking you can’t see that? (obvi he knows but as a joke) and you’re like “niki be fr” and he rolls his eyes and goes back to whatever he’s doing. but when you aren’t paying attention, he takes a picture of you reading and puts it in his home screen as a widget.

yenqa © please do not copy, steal or translate.

#yenqa’s works!#enhypen x reader #enhypen reactions #enha x reader #enha drabbles #enhypen scenarios #enhypen fluff #heeseung x reader #jay x reader #jake x reader #sunghoon x reader #sunoo x reader #niki x reader #jungwon x reader #enhypen drabbles

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changbinsboiledegg · 7 months

Note

Hey can I request y/n taking care of Jake when he has food poisoning when she picks him up after practice? I need some fluff and angst here 🥹

Heyooo thank you for your request! I love fluff and angst sm so of course! Request as much as your heart desires lol ily, hope you enjoy :) 🫶

Warnings: Food poisoning + symptoms of food poisoning mentions. (Don't read if you have emetophobia), decent amount of scolding lol, a mini argument but it only lasted two sentences, 'dying' jokes. Basically Jake trying to make light of a bad situation & y/n not having it bc they're worried. Also mentions of him not wanting to eat. That's just because he's going through it. Lmk if I forgot any!

Note: I did proofread and edit a bit, but as always, if you see any typos or grammar errors, I am sorry and pls look away. Again, hope you enjoy and I hope this is how you hope it would turn out! 🥹🫶

♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎

“This is it. I’m dying.” Jake groaned as you helped him into your apartment. You softly sighed at his choice of words.

“You’re not dying, don’t talk like that.”

“Feels like it. I threw up all over the practice room floor.” Jake squeezed his eyes shut. You gently pushed him down onto your couch and moved to sit beside him.

“What did you eat?”

Jake shrugged, “poison.”

“Jake.” You frowned. Jake cracked a weak smile before it fell into a queasy frown.

“I don’t remember… I will be back.” He urgently covered his mouth and rushed to the bathroom.

All you knew what that he and the guys were practicing and he threw up— everywhere. As Sunghoon stated over the phone.

You wondered if any of the others ate the same thing Jake did. You pulled out your phone to compose a message to Sunghoon asking about it, but Jake came back into the living room.

“Hey, feel any better?” You asked even if you already had a hunch on what his answer would be. Jake shook his head with a slight frown.

“I’ll make you something that isn’t poison. Just sit down— or lay down.” You stood up, putting your phone away before you could send the message.

“I’m not hungry.” He leaned against the wall. He seemed like he was holding back more nausea.

“You need to eat something.” You insisted, giving him a look of worry as you walked over to him.

He opened his eyes to see you in front of him.

“I don’t know, love. Last time I ate something, it made me sick.” He slightly smiled at you. You took his hand and guided him back to the couch, helping him sit down.

“I’ll make you soup and some tea, just let me take care of you. You need to rest.” You pressed the back of your hand against his forehead, frowning.

“You’re burning up.” You turned and walked to the bathroom, getting a thermometer and medicine for him.

When you returned, he had laid down on the couch, laying on his side.

“Is food poisoning contagious? I don’t want you to feel the same.” Jake groaned, “I wouldn’t wish this on my mortal enemy.”

“It’s… not contagious. Not unless I eat whatever you ate.” You aimed the thermometer at his head.

“You need to cool down.” You mumbled as you read the number on the thermometer.

Jake took the thermometer to look at the number, “I’m dying.”

“Stop it. That’s not funny.” You took the thermometer back, turning it off. Jake frowned at your response, only intending it as a joke.

“Sorry… I was kidding.” Jake propped himself up on his elbow. You rubbed your eyes, exhaling deeply before standing up.

“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t get upset with you. Let me make you soup and peppermint tea— it’s supposed to help with the nausea.” You explained, already headed to your kitchen.

Jake just watched on silently aside from the occasional groans from his illness.

You made him chicken noodle and brewed peppermint tea for him. Within a few minutes, you went back into the living room as he sat up to take the soup and tea from you.

“Do you even like peppermint? I forgot to ask. I have ginger tea also if you don’t.” You suggested, grabbing him a tray to eat off of.

“It’s okay, love. I will take whatever will make me feel better.” Jake said, blowing on a spoonful of the soup.

You sat quietly at his side and waited for him to finish.

“Thank you.” Jake took a deep breath when he finished. For a moment, you wondered if he could hold it down long enough to filter through his system.

He started to slowly sip the tea that had cooled off a bit.

You reached for the fever reducer medication and dumped a tablet into your hand. “Did you already take one?”

Jake shook his head, taking another small sip.

You held it out to him, “here. Your fever needs to go away.”

Jake shivered from the chills he experienced off and on, taking the tablet and popping it into his mouth, washing it down with the tea.

“Any other symptoms?” You asked attentively.

Jake thought for a moment, then shook his head. Nausea, vomiting, chills, fever.

Of course, you would keep an eye out for any newer symptoms. And luckily, he seemed to not feel the need to rush to the bathroom at the moment.

Once Jake finished the tea, he set it down on the tray, which prompted you to take the empty dishes to the kitchen.

Jake was laid down again when you returned.

Grabbing a light blanket and an extra pillow from your room, you layered the blanket over him and gently lifted his head to slide the pillow underneath.

“Rest. I’ll be right here if you need me.” You said in a soft tone. Jake smiled a little, his tiredness showing more than ever.

“I always need you.”

You chuckled, shaking your head, “you know what I mean.”

Jake moved back, closer to the back of the couch and opened the blanket to reveal the empty spot he created.

“Lay with me?”

“Jake, you need—“

“You to lay with me.” He interjected, cheekily grinning. He then faked a cough and put the same arm he used to hold the blanket up, over his forehead.

“I’m one foot in the grave, come on.”

“Jake.” You pinched the bridge of your nose.

“I’m sorry. But please? What if the cure to food poisoning is cuddling? Bet scientists haven’t thought of that before. Test the theory with me?” Jake glanced at the empty spot.

You gave in, unable to refuse and laid in the empty spot as he wrapped his arms, albeit very weakly, around you.

“You’re lucky I love you.” You grumbled, turning to face him and wrapping your arms around him as well.

“I love you too.” He placed a contented kiss on your forehead. Within a few minutes of holding you, he fell asleep.

#enhypen x reader #enhypen imagines #enhypen scenarios #enhypen jake x reader #enhypen jake imagines #enhypen jake fluff #enhypen jake angst #enha x reader #enha scenarios #enha imagines #enha fluff #enha angst #enhypen #enha

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sanzuballs · 1 year

Text

getting needy/teasing when hes around a friend

ft: law, luffy, zoro, sanji || fluffy suggestiveness

hi im back again! i am on wc island, heartbreaking. idk how tumblr works but i would love to recieve requests and everything! i also apologize for any grammar or spelling errors. i barely proofread and my autocorrect is always off lol n i do shit LATE at night. anyways time to get into it! ALSO (late) HAPPY HOLIDAYS!

————————

law :

nahh he dont put up with that. while him and a one of his crewmates talked, you decided to cause some michief. you sat next to him and tugged on his shirt, kissed his cheek, and even pouted and whined. he ignored you. he wasnt going to let you have your way. the only thing he could think about is how annoyingly needy you are and how wet you probably were right now. but once his crewmate started giving glances to your short skirt that started riding up your thighs, he picked you up bridal style. he carried you to his bedroom. you whined as he started to take your clothes off.

“lawww, why did you have to ignore me?” you whine as your tits were on display.

“i dont tolerate dumb sluts that just wann get fucked all the time,” he takes your panties off and watches as your slick sticked to your tiny panties. “this is gonna teach you a lesson dumb baby. dont hold back your moans, i want everyone to know just how much of a slut you are for me, and me only.”

luffy :

its a beautiful day on the thousand sunny, ussop and luffy were out trying to catch some fish but ussop was slowly falling asleep. sadly, theres a heat between your legs that only your boyfriend could put out. he has been catching sea kings all day so he was a bit exhausted. you first decided to sit on his lap.

“ha, whats this about y/n?” he smiles at you. ussop bats a eye to you and luffy’s convo.

“i need you luffy.”you whisper into his ear. you pout at him and you press your heat on his thigh. he could feel the slick of your pussy through your panties. he wraps hims noodly arms around you.

“alright then. goodbye ussop!” he grabs you and gives you a piggyback ride to his room.

“im sorry i didnt mean to interrupt you.” you said as he pulled your panties off and flipped up the skirt you had on.

“‘s okay baby.” he smiles as he trails wet kisses up your thighs.

zoro:

god bless his impatient heart. and god bless your bratty heart…

it was probably the most boring day ever on earth for the straw hat pirates. you were drifting on sea to the next island but it was a long wait. zoro decided to snag some booze from the fridge and sanji was there, sharping his knives. but ofcourse you had to follow your boyfriend into the kitchen. while riding on his back, ofcourse.

“y/n! do you want something, ive got some time on my hands!” sanji says. zoro doesnt really mind because he knows how sanji is. and he knows your his. you smile at sanji.

“a martini please! thanks sanji!” you say. he whips one right up and zoro waits patiently to drink with you. them sanji hands you a beautiful martini.

“ro’ i want you to pour it in my mouth.” you look up at him and you mix your drink around and suck the straw.

“y/n,” he says sternly. “why are you like this.”

“c’mon please!?” sanji takes a quick glance and eyebrow bat to zoro.

“a lady should get what she wants.” sanji says.

“im glad someone in this room knows how to treat a woman.” you taunt your boyfriend. he obviously knew you to treat you well but seeing him mad is too good to miss. zoro takes the martini.

“open up.” zoro says. he then pours the liquid all over your thin shirt, revealing your lacy bra.

———————

i was gonna write for ace too BUT IDK BRO I DONT THINK I PHYSICALLY CAN BC I DONT THINK HES ALL THAT.

#one piece x you #zoro roronoa x you #smut oneshot #law x you #law smut #sanji vinsmoke smut #zoro smut #trafalgar one piece #trafalgar law #anime #luffy fluff #luffy x you #zoro fluff #sanji fluff

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dumplingsfordays · 10 months

Text

eyes are the windows of the soul

++++

ok so hihi, first time writing stuff for a fandom...

this one's kinda self indulgent because (cough cough) dainsleif (cough cough) anyways

i don't think i mentioned any female anatomy but reader's pronouns are she/her and she works at a coffee shop! so yeah

also lots and lots of pining from reader because dainsleif is absolutely perfect

(but you can apply this to any other blonde, blue-eyed reserved man if you want to bc his name isn't mentioned)

umm yeah so not proofread!!, might be mistakes / errors so feel free to correct! english is not my first language so i'm sorry if i make any mistakes. also written in third person.

art found on pinterest through @cartavaya_vorona, i couldn't find the original artist (sorry!)

++++

The more (y/n) fell in love with him, the more her desire to truly understand him grew.

He was mysterious, reserved. They hadn't even talked, but (y/n)'s gaze always lingered on his long, dark blue cloak when he would pass by the counter while the customer in front of her ordered their coffee. She would fumble with the trays of freshly-baked lemon tarts when his image came into her mind - gorgeous blonde hair, deep cerulean eyes which she could never make eye contact with, but he was always expressionless. His smile, by far, was the most puzzling thing about him, and (y/n) was determined to uncover that mystery, whatever it took. She'd always make sure his order was right, make little jokes when she'd bring his coffee and food to the small table in the corner where he always sat, but none of those things seemed to work. He just always thanked her, politely but quietly, still with that neutral expression on his face, and resumed reading whatever book he was holding, to her dismay.

This happened routinely for around two months now. He would come in, usually between six to seven in the afternoon, and order a medium cappuccino with no sugar and a quiche. He'd sit down and eat, and when the café closed at eight, he would thank (y/n) with a simple nod before exiting.

But on one calm, late September evening, when the sun painted the sky in brilliant shades of red and orange and purple that poured through the windows like molten gold, when (y/n) stood behind the counter, washing the used coffee cups in the sink, when the man that she'd been thinking of at that moment entered the café, he came up to her and waited silently until she would see him.

(y/n) sensed his presence, and swiveled her head around to meet his gaze. However, this time, she couldn't look away. Her (e/c) eyes widened.

She felt so heavy, and yet so light at the same time, like she was drifting along a cold river, and staring upwards at the sky. It was littered in multicolored stars, with the bright full moon hanging to the left of her vision, and when she felt a particularly cold current sweep past her, she felt a twinge of pain, of etherealness, of tainted purity, and her heart began to throb in a sort of sweet bitterness. She blinked, and was back in this world, in her cafe.

“Oh, hello,” she said, cringing inwardly as she looked away, at the wooden surface of the counter. She was probably staring before. “Would you like your usual?”

“No, actually.” (y/n) spotted him twiddling his thumbs in her peripheral vision. “I would like to try something new today. What is your favorite item on the menu?”

She paused. She didn’t expect this, not in a million years.

“Um… I'm actually not sure. I think I like all of them, but if I had to choose… I do really enjoy the éclairs.”

“I’ll have one of those then, please. And a cappuccino.”

“You sure love your coffee, huh?” (y/n) chuckled.

“I do.” The man nodded, and went to the seating area (which was surprisingly fairly empty), taking a seat at a table closer to the counter. At first, (y/n) didn't notice - she wanted to select the best éclair for him so he wouldn't think ill of her recommendation, and after she brewed the coffee and put everything on a thin wooden tray, she strode over to his usual seat by the window in the corner, but then noticed he wasn't there. She blinked in confusion a couple of times, before finally finding him sitting at a table that was still adjacent to the wall, but was one column closer to the counter. Trying to hide the fact that her face was light pink from embarrassment, she walked to his table and set everything down. She met his eyes again, but this time more shyly.

“Let me know if anything tastes bad.” She hated how her voice squeaked against her will just now.

“I will. Thank you,” he replied, and (y/n) could swear that she saw just the faintest glint of gentleness in his deep azure eyes. Giddly, and with a gigantic smile on her face, she smiled, and rushed off back to the counter with her head turned away. Jesus Christ, could she be any more obvious?

She speed-walked into the kitchen, sat down on a low stool across from one oven, and covered her (probably very) red face with her hands. Never before had the man shown any emotion, with the exception of mild frustration, and seeing his eyes slightly crinkle at the ends and sparkle with this sort of softness sent pleasant shivers down (y/n)'s spine.

Eyes are truly the windows of the soul, she thought.

#dainsleif x y/n #dainsleif x you #dainsleif x reader #genshin dainsleif #dainsleif #genshin #genshin x reader #genshin impact #genshin x you #dainsleif imagines #dain <33 #he's so pretty i can't #ik the last sentence is a little cheesy but like #writeblr #genshin fanfic #fanfic

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httpsbearily · 17 hours

Note

18+ request! :)

HI AGAIN, SO UM, NEW THOUGHT OF BRYON

Reader as Merlin, and basically, the whole Dark Forest gang (Lyca, Eironn, Lorsan, and Bryon ofc) are having drinks. Lorsan gets a lil bit toooo affectionate to reader for Bryon, and plus he's starting to get annoyed of Lorsan being a yapper.

And so, Bryon just ends up deciding to fuck reader in the mirror, but he has his blindfold off just bc he wants reader to look at him in the eyes <3

☆*: Reflection

[Tags]: smut | bryon x reader | GN reader

Minors Do Not Interact

[Author’s Note]: anon you mf--affectionately--you're so real for this holy shit. so real. Obviously I had to stop everything because I have sm to say about this; School is temporary but Bryon is forever. arches back.

Edit: this took longer than expected im so sorry anon, wuthering waves came out and I may have spent too much time on it already…btw this isn’t proofread so I’m sorry for any grammar/spelling errors

As the sun glimmered off the horizon, illuminating the world around you a pinkish-orange hue and the sounds of your friends filling the warm atmosphere, you couldn't remember when you'd last felt so serene. It been a while since you had had the opportunity to reunite with all the friends you had made during your time in the Dark Forest; What felt like yesterday was, in reality, already a year ago. Since it's saving, all who were currently present had gone their own way in continuation of playing their role of supporting the forest.

Lyca, who had been officiated as a leader of the forest by Eironn himself, could not say it'd been easy but, still, held no regrets even during the most overwhelming of times. Eironn, who had continued his journey to seek betterment of his swordsmanship, had only returned to celebrate the anniversary of the group's success but carried the most sentiment of you all. Lorsan of course was also in attendance, pausing his travels to return to his home with more than a million stories. And Bryon, who had remained the same throughout the passing time, but reconvening with the gang with more passion…so to say.

As the great magister, you couldn't deny that you had your own fair share of reminiscencing to give the group. The sentimental feeling could be felt in each person, and it showed in the way you all enthusiastically interacted with each other. Sitting together around a circular table situated just outside the wood-built eatery, the five of you conversed enthusiastically--even your hamster familiars had partook in the joyful reunion before falling asleep a few feet away in a pile of leaves. You didn't blame them, the three of you had traveled here all the way from Holistone after needing to meet with General Hogan and his top knight Valen. Although a little tired yourself, you didn't restrain yourself to not accepting the drinks offered up by a waitress.

"--And then, as if I were some mouse instead of rabbit, they told me they me 'rodents weren't allowed'! Could you believe the nerve?! I almost used my skill to summon a gust of wind and blow them off the bridge!" Lorsan exclaimed, holding onto his ears in exasperation as he recounted an event from his wandering. You chuckled at his words, looking towards Eironn as he spoke: "Wait...You mean to tell me you've been a rabbit this whole time? Oh. I was so certain you were some type of chinchilla."

Lorsan made a noise of betrayal, lowering his hands into fists on the table as he leaned forward to the elf across. "Eironn, of all the people here, I never expected you to treat me like this!"

But Eironn only hid his smile behind his cup of tea. The bunny turned towards you, who sat to his left, and pouted, "magister, you don't think I'm a rodent, right?"

You played along with the eldest wilder, retuning a confused, wide-eyed look to the windwhisperer, "I thought so too...Bryon is always calling you a pest, so I assumed..."

At the mention of his name, everyone turned to look at him, including you. You bit back a smile, wanting to laugh especially when Lorsan had called out to the older man in complaint. Bryon remained his normal, calm self, not even flinching as he lifted the teapot to refill his teacup; "I have never, nor will I ever, tell you a lie."

You laughed loudly, not able to hold it back when Lorsan gave a downright confounded look to the older windwhisperer sat on the other side of you. Even Eironn and Lyca snickered in their seats, not offering any defense for the youngest of the group. Slightly inhibited by the alcohol running through your body, you raised a hand to ruffle Lorsan's hair between his ears good-heartedly. The bunny crossed his arms over his chest with the turn of his head so that your hand would fall away; "Don't condescend me! Perhaps I was better of on my own enjoying the world around me. I won't miss you, really!"

"Your promises are fallible," Lyca responded, teasingly deadpan, "You would be the first one crawling back when you miss us."

"Hmph. As if. And even if that were so, then I would really only come back for the magister. The rest of you have been a bad influence so I don't fault them for their behavior and know that in their heart there is kindness! Isn't that right, magister Merlin?!"

You only hummed with a smile, which was all the bunny needed to continue his debate. His tendency to run behind you when the others bullied him with their teasing was nothing new to you, and after so much time witnessing it, you had even grown to view the youngest wilder as your little sibling. Although, it couldn't be said that the perspective was shared by all the others.

To your right, Bryon silently drank his tea with not even a crack in his demeanor. All throughout the evening the antics had been like this; You had refused any more drinks after your second so as to not become inebriated, but Lorsan continued which resulted in him becoming even more emotionally involved with the group. He picked battles with everyone at the table just for fun it felt and had taken to scooting closer to you so he could whisper [read as: yell] into your ear little comments about all the others during his squabbling as if you were on his side. You weren't, you were just here for the show which is why you never pushed him away but instead leaned in, highly entertained.

"If you ask me, Bryon could do to take some of our advice. Walking around barefoot like that has to be a kind of fashion statement," Lorsan snickered to you with a hand cupping his mouth to speak in your ear.

"Lorsan, all of us are barefoot. Even you," Lyca countered.

"I don’t count, and neither do you. If you haven’t noticed, our feet aren’t exactly like theirs. Eironn and magister Merlin wear boots. Bryon, doesn’t it hurt to walk around like that?”

“I feel quite fine,” Bryon responded.

Lorsan huffed, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. “You must now. I don’t think I have never not seen your toes.”

Bryon stood suddenly, “I’ll be heading in for the night”. Stepping around his stool and pushing it in after himself, he regarded the older two wilders with a nod.

“Alright. It is getting late, we’ll be heading back ourselves shortly,” Eironn said, but at the same time, Lorsan made a noise of protest. The bunny wrapped both arms around your shoulders, hugging onto you from the side; “Nooo! We just got here! I’m not even tired, look, even the magister is still wide-eyed!”

You pat the little brother wilder on his back soothingly to calm his drunken theatrics. Bryon, however, did not appear impressed by the display, and with a twitching ear held out his hand to you.

“Dearest,” he called curtly, “would you accompany me to the room?”

His tone drew your attention—to many others, he would appear normal, acting with his usual reserved speech, but you caught the subtle annoyance laced in his words. Surprised by his mood, you accepted his hand and moved to stand, but Lorsan protested again loudly at your side.

“Magister, don’t leave me! They’re going to bully me again! I’m more fun than that old bird brain,” he protested with an accusing finger pointed at Bryon.

You laughed lightly, once again patting between his ears, saying, “Sorry, Lorsan. I’m a little tired as well. We can continue our celebration tomorrow.”

Bidding the other two a good night as well, you were led away by your partner. Once the two of you were a good distance away, you inquired about his mood; “Is something bothering you, Bryon?”

He didn’t spare a glance at you even as he hummed in discontent. Confused, you tilted your head to think about everything that transpired…was he mad about Lorsan teasing his bare feet? The thought made you chuckle, something that caught the man’s attention.

“What are you laughing about?” He asked you.

“Just about what Lorsan was saying. He really is quite the character,” you mused, linking your arm with his so that you could walk closer to him while leaning your head on his shoulder.

“If there are boundaries then he is the last person to find them”. There it was again, the agitation weaved in his voice. What exactly had sparked that irritation in him? He hadn’t responded when you asked him about it…does that mean it’d been something you’d done?! Concern leaked into your mind as you relived every moment that had lead up to where you were now. To your misfortune, however, you didn’t have much time to reflect because the two of you had reached the room you stayed at. Bryon took care of opening the door, letting you walk in before closing it behind the two of you.

Already adjusted to the night light you made your way to your closet to hang the accessory clothing you wore without bothering to turn the lights on. Thoughts on how to get your windwhisperer to open up to you filtered through your mind, distracting you to the way the person in your thoughts locked your door and closed your blinds before coming up behind you. You were in the middle of removing a hair ornament when Bryon gently grabbed your wrists in his hands, pulling them down to cross behind your back. A questioning look made your expression.

“Bryon…?” You asked, turning your head to the side to watch the other. But he offered no words of explanation, only leaning forward until his lips ghosted over the shell of your ear. The warmth of his soft breaths made a shiver run down your spine.

“What’s wrong?” Bryon finally whispered, “Do you feel uncomfortable with me so close?”

His words tickled were spoken directly into your ear and his honey smooth voice murmuring so close filled you with something you couldn’t describe; You only pushed down the feeling to focus on the situation at hand. With a shake of your head, you responded, “No, it’s not that—”

“Good.” Bryon interrupted, “Because it didn’t seem like much a problem when Lorsan behaved the same.”

That statement caught you by surprise; Perking up, you attempted to turn around to face him only for Bryon’s hands to tighten around your wrists, keeping you in place.

“Is that what has you grumpy?” You asked incredulously, “Why, you know more than any of us how affectionate he is—much more so when he’s drunk.”

“Too much so,” Bryon corrected, “I’ve found that there is something more grating than his ceaseless prattling…”

He pressed a soft kiss to your ear—an action that you had not realized at the time to be falsely calming. A small smile formed on your face as you listened to his words, understanding him to be sulking. The last time you had seen him this way was quite some time ago when Elona had taken to playing with your hamster familiars instead of accompanying him in his free time. That novelty had not lasted long, however, when eventually Chippy had gotten a little too frightened by the bird’s play hunting and called the quits in hanging out with her. Bryon had assumed an air of attached indifference when the bird returned to him, but you could see the hidden smile on his lips as he stroked her feathers. The memory made you want to laugh a little, but that urge was quickly replaced by breathlessness when the wilder spoke the end of his sentence with a pitch deeper tone: “Him touching you like you are his.”

Saying that, he moved his kiss to press it behind your ear before moving down to plant another near the hinge of your jaw just below your ear. You sighed at the feeling; “I don’t think he meant any harm. He’s just full of emotions.”

“Even so, that does not discredit what I say. Being near to you, touching you like this, is a privilege that only I have. He could never do so, even if he dreamt it, do you agree?”

His words were spoken against your skin, heating the expanse of his trailing kisses. The grip on your wrists never waned, even when he used only one hand to hold them together while his other lifted to caress your neck.

“Even if he could, that doesn’t mean I would let him. He’s nothing if not my family—like a little brother,” you said back, not really sure why you were defending the rabbit when there was nothing to defend. You knew there were no intentions behind Lorsan’s behavior tonight, and his overly affectionate tendencies were only heightened with alcohol.

“Oh? Is that so? You think he could make you feel the way I do? Hold you like this—kiss you, like this?” To show his question, Bryon moved his hand from your neck to your chin to turn it towards him so that he could kiss you deeply. Already one to be weak to the windwhisperer, you folded quite quickly but held yourself in check to see where it got you. The angle made the kiss messier than normal causing your breath to be lost to you more quickly as you put effort into returning Bryon’s kiss and holding your head to the side. Deep interest drenched the kiss as Bryon licked your lips in askance to be let in; Of course you had no obligations, letting his tongue massage against yours.

The atmosphere heat up fast with the kiss alone leaving you gasping for breath after only a couple of minutes like this. When he finally broke the kiss, you had a light flush on your face from the lack of air. If Bryon was affected by the kiss he didn’t show it because his next actions found him replacing his tongue with two fingers so that his kiss could linger down along your jaw.

“Do you think he thought of you like this when he was whispering in your ear? How you look flustered and out of breath?” Bryon prodded your tongue with his fingers in instruction for you to close your lips around them, so you did. You sucked lightly, moving your tongue around them as Bryon focused his attention on the pulse point beneath your jaw. He mimicked your actions only much harsher in order to leave his mark—no one would be able to deny that you were his with it shown.

You couldn’t respond to his words with his fingers in your mouth, so you only made little noises in your throat. Those noises, however, seemed to have been misinterpreted; “If you have tricked yourself into believing it true, then I must show you the answer.”

He removed his fingers, pulling his hand away completely to undo your top as he walked you to your bed, never moving from behind you. After your top, he stripped you of your bottoms, leaving behind a trail of clothes until he finally had you against your bed, bent over the edge with your face in the sheets. Leaning over you, he bent down to nip at the back of your neck before kissing down your spine. His free hand moved to hold the inside of your thigh from the back, using his hold to spread your legs wide enough for him to work.

When he reached the base of your spine, he lowered himself onto his knees, saying, “My dearest, I should make you forget any names other than my own. Be good for me and don’t hold back.”

You didn’t get a chance to respond because suddenly his tongue was on you. You twitched stay the pleasurable feeling, already enraptured by the feeling of his warm, wet tongue licking at you entrance. It was unlike him to dive right into it considering he was so fond of foreplay, but his emotions had gotten the best of him. With a mixture of jealousy and annoyance filling his heart, Bryon couldn’t help but chase relief for his emotional stats. Even if that relief came in the form of fucking you to tears.

His ears were attentive to all the sounds filling the room, searching most desperately for the ones you made. You squirmed under his hold, your fingers clenching making your nails dig into your palms as you panted in effort to sort through the sensations flooding your body. The hand holding your thigh rotated to relieve the pressure on his wrist but didn’t slacken the push to elevate your leg—in fact, it pressed into you harder to raise your leg higher, exposing more of yourself to his avid mouth. If you listened close enough, you could almost hear the slick sound of his tongue teasing your nerves, his saliva mixing with your falling juices. You whimpered out quietly, enjoying his actions but feeling like it was not quite enough when his tongue only prodded without entry. When you tried to shift your weight closer to his face, he squeezed your wrists, pulling away to say, “You seem to be enjoying yourself. Tell me, darling, who is it that has you this eager?”

You sighed at the loss of his mouth on you, taking a moment to gather your thoughts as his question registered in your mind. Breathily, you responded, “you do.”

“‘You’?” Bryon parroted, “I see.”

He stood up completely, pulling you up to follow him with gentle hands but firm guidance. A noise of surprise left you when he first moved you, but it didn’t take much more than a few seconds for him to situate you in front of the body-length mirror placed against the wall. Looking at your reflection, you grew shy at the sight of you fully naked before Bryon who still wore his light-colored over robe. You didn’t even notice when he’d undressed himself, ridding himself of his wing-like half cloak and pants.

The wilder lowered the two of you to your knees in-front of the mirror and you felt his blindfolded gaze persistent on your reflection. Pulling your wrists back, he made you lean against his front so that your your weight would be shifted off your knees and distributed throughout your legs instead. Like this, he moved his unoccupied hand to bluntly cup your slick heat instead. You shuddered at the feeling.

“I’m afraid you still don’t understand,” leaning over your shoulder, he kissed the underside of your jaw, “When I ask for a name, I expect it to be mine. Who else if not me? Lorsan?”

“No, if I think of him at this time it’s only because you bring him up. There’s none other that I would think of, being like this.” You spoke honestly, gathering the confidence to look back at him in the mirror. You didn’t expect the sight to be at steamy as it was—him holding you in his hand, your essence leaking through his fingers making them glisten. The look on your face was dazed, your chest heaving slightly bringing attention to the erect buds on your chest. Despite how steady Bryon looked in the mirror, you could tell that it was not true; With your back pressed against his front, you could feel his anticipation. His member was hidden behind the robe he worse, but you felt the stiffness of it on your back and you had the fleeting thought of wanting to rub against it.

However, the wilder didn’t let you indulge yourself because he tsked at your response. “Someone as smart as you, great magister Merlin, should know it’s unwise to make comments like that. You only make me believe another is really, truly on your mind. I don’t consider myself to be possessive, but dearest, you make me want to claim you. To let everyone else know that you chose me to be your partner. That only I have been ordained to your most secret pleasures.”

He pulled his hand away from your groin to resume his hold on your inner thigh, pressing into it so that you would spread it open. Like this, even the most hidden spots on your body were vulnerable to the cool air of the room. Still watching your reflection, you gazed down lower to see his hand trace a light path up to your entrance. He looked up from your neck, “And I realize there is nothing stopping me from doing just that.”

Firmly, he used two fingers to collect your dripping fluid. You believed he was going doing so with intent to use it as lubricant for his entry into you, but had your breathe knocked out of you when he lifted his fingers to his mouth instead. As if craving it, Bryon licked his fingers clean, humming deeply as he savored the taste of you; You had even felt his member twitch against your back. You bit the inside of your lip, committing the moment to memory and feeling your hole clench around nothing. Bryon didn’t rush himself to enjoy your presence which is a fact that made you melt but also slightly frustrated you. Why did he chose now of all times to initiate foreplay?!

Squirming against him, you spread your knees open more—throughly avoiding looking at yourself in the mirror knowing you most likely looked like a desperate mess—in hopes that he would be enticed enough to act. He was. Your movement took his attention away from his fingers and you heard him breathe deeply against the back of your neck.

“So impatient…” he murmured, “But you’re right. You still have a lesson to learn.”

With that, he lowered his hand between the two of you, shifting behind you to hoist the front of his robe to the side. Immediately, you felt the heat of his member and the precut leaking out of it as the tip rubbed against the skin of your back. A whine you couldn’t control slipped out of you, more following when he had softly begun to slowly rut against you.

“Look at you, still only the beginning and already so deliciously ready. Tell me who the only one to make you feel like this is?” Bryon murmured into your ear.

“You are, only you. Please, now, hurry up.” Slightly arching your back, you fidgeted against him. But the windwhisperer only held you still. There was a momentary silence to which only heightened your need, but Bryon’s discontent with your response had him considering his actions. Stubborn, he thought…No matter, he was a patient man.

So he chose to indulge you; He wrapped a hand around his shaft and slid it down between your legs. Try as you might, you couldn’t look away from the scene reflected before you; Bryon’s dick already wept with his own juices and all it took was his hand rubbing it to create a coat of lubricant that would help him ease into your aching hole. He grunted at his quick self-induced pleasure before aligning his tip to your entrance. Moving his hand out of view, he gripped your thigh, tensing his fingers into the soft skin of it as he finally slid himself into you.

You moaned loudly, transfixed by the sight of him bottoming out and the feeling of him stretching you out. Taking a couple seconds to adjust, you dropped your head against his shoulder—an action that he was quick to correct.

“No, darling. You must watch. Since you don’t seem to learn by feeling alone, you must use your sight. Come on, look straight ahead. Look at the way I fit inside you so perfectly; Look at how much your dripping. Look at your expression,” as he spoke, Bryon began to move his hips slowly and shallowly, “So overwhelmed already. Have you been expecting this all night? Behaving so coquettishly with others just to rile me up?”

You shook your head, “No…I didn’t mean anything…”. The words you spoke were hard to focus on when he pushed himself in so deep it felt like his tip brushed your stomach. Soft moans spilled from your tongue as you struggled to keep your attention on the mirror’s image. Dazedly watching the way Bryon’s member pulled out of you before pushing all the way back into you at a pace that was slower than a snail. Your fingers flexed in urge to hold onto him, the skin of your wrists slightly irritated after being held so long in a tight grip. His speed—or lack thereof—was killing you; He was going so slow that you could only think of all the pleasure you should have.

Your cries of exasperation made Bryon smile subtly as he enjoyed working you up; If you knew the tension he inflicted upon himself by moving slow then you’d almost feel better for yourself. But he kept his composure, “What’s the matter, dearest?”

“When you,” you breathed, “said I’d learn my lesson…I didn’t think you meant it in this way.”

His open hand moved to your front, dipping a finger into your weeping slit and massaging it passively, making your hips twitch. “Not enjoying yourself? But your body is telling me different, look at how it responds,” he told you with added pressure of his fingers.

“I’d—hah—I’d enjoy it more if you went faster. Please,” you said, conflicted on wether you should wiggle you hips up into his hand or down onto his cock.

“And I would enjoy it more if you appeased my tormented heart, yet here we are,” Bryon said, his tone full of feigned dismay, “One of us is bound to relent sooner or later. I wonder who it’ll be? Wouldn’t it be so fulfilling if you simply called out my name—loud enough for all others, for Lorsan himself, for head?”

Your eyes shifted to his blindfolded ones in the mirror, “Perhaps, but how could I if I’m not feeling it?!“

Bryon’s hips snapped into yours suddenly with a newfound force, knocking the air out of your lungs. Giving you no time to adapt to his brutal pace, Bryon pulled your wrists down to make you lean further into him. Slapping noises filled the room, mixing with the wet sounds of his thrusts and you struggled to catch your breath. His fingers continuously massaged the area around your slit, focusing primarily on the area with the most sensitivity. The depth of his thrusts was numbing, the pace making his tip rub over the spot that made you see stars faster than you could cope with. Burning waves over pleasure coursed through your body, forcing loud, crying moans to fall from your lips.

“Oh gods,” you moaned, letting your head fall back against his shoulder once again. Just as abruptly as he started, he stopped and you almost sobbed out at the sudden cut of flowing pleasure.

“Look at me, darling. Don’t take your eyes off the mirror,” he scolded. Desperate to reach your high you lifted your head, dazedly looking at the mirror. He began his movements again with the same rhythm as before.

“Does this make you feel better, my dear? Do you remember who the only one who could make you feel like this is?” He asked you, voice low in your ear, the grumbling tone mixing with his heavy breathing. You could’ve came with that alone.

You nodded your head quickly, “yes, yes. You, Bryon, only you make me feel this good.”

“That’s a good magister, hmm? Come on, let the others know as well.”

Giving in to what he wanted, you increased your volume, moaning out his name as wantonly as you could—whatever you needed to do to keep him going. Bryon didn’t object, reveling in your cries. His balls slapped against your skin, adding that extra stimulus in tandem with his fingers; Looking into the mirror, you could practically see the mess the two of you were making on the floor, soaking it with a mixture of sexual fluids. You watched his dick disappear into your hole, clenching around him at the sight causing him to groan. His own pleasures noises caught your attention, making you look back up at him through the mirror. Bryon caught your eye.

Without pausing him thrusts, he released one of your wrists, telling you, “take it off”, and you understood immediately. With an unsteady arm, you reached up to his face, using the mirror to guide you as you hooked a finger around his blindfold before pulling it down.

Beneath it, his eyes shone, glimmering with dark lust. His focus was sharp, and already he was staring straight back into your eyes. The rare view of his eyes, the direct eye contact, it made your head spin. You almost cursed him for wearing the blindfold in the first place, but chose to attend to the sensations at hand. With his blindfold off, Bryon was exposed to so much more than just the sound of you falling apart under his lust. He was absolutely entranced by how you looked, face flushed, eyes glazed, neck littered with his marks, heaving chest covered with a sheen layer of sweat, and a sopping mess in between the legs—he couldn’t be blamed if he orgasmed on the spot. Unable to look away from the sight of you being fucked right, he didn’t even mind that you had not returned the hand that he released. With it, you held onto the back of his neck.

“‘m close,” you panted, torn between rushing towards your peak of running away to keep this moment lasting forever. Your eyes fell shut momentarily, relishing in the overwhelming tension in your core.

“Open your eyes, darling. I would regret stopping now. I want to see you,” Bryon gave a particularly deep thrust to make you open your eyes again. The action, however, was all you needed to be pushed over the edge.

With fluttering eyelashes, you tried hard to keep his gaze, but your orgasm crashed into you. Your legs spammed as you came, hips stuttering against his thrusts, and you felt that you were leaving scratches all along his neck. You changed his name like a prayer as you arched your back, wanting to both escape the onslaught the sensation of him still filling you and chase it. Even your hole convulsed around him, making him moan in effort to continue through the feeling.

Wet eyes stared back at him in the mirror, your voice begging him—what for, neither of you weren’t exactly sure. He took in your wrecked appearance in the mirror, and the urge to big down onto your neck to leave one more mark controlled him. While he never regret his decision to hide his vision, he did wish he could see you like this forever. You looked so good, so divine, so seductive that it made his dick twitch with want. The thought of any others seeing you like this filled Bryon with a bitter feeling—one that he took out on you.

The closer he got to his high, the more relentless he became, his tip abusing your oversensitive bundle of nerves even as you came down from your high. It took you looking at him with a downright sexed out expression to make him tumble over the edge. With a quick speed, he pulled out of you just in time to blow his load onto the mirror surface. He took his hand from you to fist his cock, milking it dry as he groaned out your name, his own eyes falling shut.

It was the hottest sight you might ever see; Although you were exhausted, you couldn’t help the flash of lust that shot through you. Watching him breath heavily, and his seed splattered all across the mirror, you leaned your weight against him.

“You should keep this off more often,” you joked weakly, tugging the the blindfold around his neck.

“What would you have to look forward to if I did?”

#afk journey #afk journey x reader #bryon afk journey #bryon x reader #afk journey bryon x reader

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adelle-ein · 2 years

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Nothing Supernatural Here: Lace’s not-very-nice AINI review/rant

ETA 01/04/23: WAY more people read this than I thought, so I went through and did a massive edit/cleanup. Fixed up the grammar and writing from “hasty rant” to “actually kind of a reasonable essay” level, threw in a few more details, and added some screenshots to break up the text chunks. Sorry it was such a mess, I didn’t proofread too much bc I genuinely didn’t think anyone was gonna read it :’)

When I finished watching AI: Nirvana Initiative on Youtube (because I could not afford to buy it, and I am happy every day that I did not dip into my grocery money to do so), I wrote a review. It was not a kind review. I hated the game and that very much shows. It seemed so harsh and mean when all the reviews were so glowing, when all my mutuals seemed to ADORE it, so I decided it was better to let this extremely mean review languish in the depths of my google drive forever.

I have now edited, added to, and completed this review, and decided to let it out. It is extremely long. Like, stupidly long. And I still left out a LOT of things I hated.

I am not being nice, I am not pulling punches. I think AINI is the worst video game sequel I have ever had the displeasure of knowing exists as well as the worst VN overall I have ever viewed in full. I have really nothing nice to say about it at all. So please know that going in, and also know that if you try to convince me the game is good, I am probably just going to laugh at you because believe me: I cannot be convinced. I have tried so hard to like this game. I cannot, and it is one of my most hated pieces of media ever. This whole review is much more “hate” than “criticism.” Anyway. You have been warned.

Spoilers for AINI and AITSF, of course. Bear in mind: AINI, even if you have spoiler toggle off, inherently spoils AITSF. You cannot discuss AINI in depth without spoiling AITSF. The pre-release press releases were lying.

CWs: All AINI-typical content is discussed, including suicide, death, parental neglect and abuse, et cetera.

PROLOGUE

Nothing sums up my loathing of AINI better than the story of Tokiko’s body. When you find her corpse while playing as Mizuki, it’s a very clear suicide scene. Her wrists were slit, she's part of a cult, she’s been discussing suicide and being sliced in half, the game makes it very clear she's been suicidal in the past, et cetera. And yet Aiba immediately announces, with no further explanation, that she “does not believe this was self-inflicted” aka "this was not a suicide." She provides no evidence whatsoever for this little conclusion (other than the would being “deep?”), but as the player, it would be logical to assume that this is meant to be a "I know what this looks like, and it isn't it, assume this was murder" from the writers to the player.

And then, much later on when the Big Reveals are coming out, it is revealed that Tokiko did in fact kill herself in that very spot, in exactly the way it looks. She slit her wrists and cut herself in half using the Very Realistic Machine because of her cult beliefs and underlying depression. It was a suicide, exactly what it looked like, all along. No further explanation is given. Aiba does not even acknowledge her lie/error.

Great writing, guys.

A good mystery misleads its audience. But, uh...that's not misleading the audience. That's just straight up telling a lie to pretend there's a mystery when there isn't one. It was in fact the thing it immediately appeared to be. I looked at an apple, AINI told me it was an orange, and then later was like “it’s an apple.” Not even “it was actually an apple all along,” just “it’s an apple.” And isn't that just straight up what AINI is about overall? Blatantly lying to the player to pretend it has any depth, mystery, or interesting content whatsoever?

PART ONE: THE TWIST

We all know The Big AINI Twist. At least, if you are reading this, I assume you do. Instead of two timelines, one featuring Ryuki in the past and one featuring Mizuki in the present, Side Ryuki and Side Mizuki are intertwined (like DNA, for some reason, which isn't even really relevant to the story's alleged themes other than its almighty biological superiority unlike those icky adopted families...actually wait, that probably is the point. oops. You And I Are Halves Of A Whole Let’s Go.) You've been going back and forth between past and present all along, playing either as Ryuki (past/present), Mizuki (present), or Mizuki Two-Only-Exists-To-Pull-Off-This-Twist (past.) Only "Jin's" body was found in halves six years apart. All other bodies were found in the past, minus Tokiko who was found in the present. There was no mystery at all. And knowing what the player does about Jin and Uru by this point, the rest can quickly and easily fall into place.

Particularly clumsy that they have to spell out the DNA thing, huh. Of course, the characters have known this all along. To sum up, the "mystery" in AINI is entirely based upon the player being told a lie right after starting the game that continues throughout the entire story. A lie that was only told to the player, not the characters. When the lie is revealed, the answer becomes obvious. As soon as you see the timeline you learn that there was in fact little to no mystery all along, the obvious answer is the real one, and the only reason you as the player didn't figure it out hours ago is because the game was lying to you (and only you - not the characters, which would, you know, actually require some real fucking writing.)

This is where the game fails. Everything in AINI happens to pull off this ridiculous and yet boring literal twist. This is why Bibi (while I can't have anything against a character who is just Mizuki Again as a person, god I loathe Bibi as a plot device and the fact that she exists) is a thing and why she is inexplicably exactly like Mizuki. This is why Ryuki, Amame, etc don't get timeskip designs. This is why Shoma doesn't age. This is why Date was shoved hastily off-screen. This is why the AI Balls have so many conveniently timed memory issues. This is why nobody experienced any significant development in six years. This is why character interactions feel clumsy and forced, such as why Shoma's feelings about his dad's death ping wildly back and forth (because sometimes it happened six years ago.) Everything in AINI - characters, pacing, gameplay, FUN - was sacrificed in the name of one big twist, and that twist isn't even good. It's boring. It retroactively ruins everything about the game. It serves zero purpose except to yell "gotcha!"

AITSF misled the player, leading you to suspect Renju, Iris, So, Date, Boss, Shoko, and Falco in turn and all at once (because, in a sense, it was all and none and each of them.) AINI, on the other hand, doesn’t mislead. It just...lies. To me, that isn't really fun or interesting. It doesn't impact the characters, it is utterly meaningless -- except for making the player think there was actually more to the plot than the obvious answer for several chapters. In the end, the real solution to the entire case was just the obvious, boring answer. Jin and Uru share body parts and Uru was Tearer. The only real reveal is that Amame killed Uru and moved Tokiko's body, but that comes far too little far too late (especially bc after a few genuinely good and heartfelt scenes with Mame, we go to the final battle scene which frankly reads worse than the Harry Potter fanfiction I was writing on the Scholastic kids’ forums at age eleven.)

Seriously though, as an aside, that final battle scene is so horrifically bad I feel like it deserves its own paragraph. Maybe multiple paragraphs. I mean, what can I say? There’s no real final boss, just nameless mooks (one has a red shirt on, wow!) It’s another boring fight scene with no fun or creativity using the AI Balls’ abilities, just “press Z to jump” Heavy Rain-ass QTEs. Using "there are only three AI Balls, and whoever doesn't have one just kinda sucks" as a plot device is stupid. Ryuki's "death" was stupid and really served no purpose at all. There’s even more of Mizuki and Date's relationship being completely discarded, and Aiba being weirdly cruel to them both. Somehow a prerecorded message is capable of predicting every single thing that happens because...reasons, I guess. Kizuna has a gun and yelled the fuck word for the screencappable moment. Wow. And I guess the mopeds can fly now?? Maybe that should have come up sooner?? Not to mention poor pacing and bad lag making the whole ordeal feel even longer. It sucks that this clusterfuck came right on the tail end of Amame's somnium, which pretty much the only story/character thing in the whole game I genuinely cared about and the best scene. But Mame was absolutely overshadowed by this trash fire (and a playable epilogue even worse than the first game’s, which I also hated ftr.)

Back to “The Twist,” I cannot describe how much I hate every choice that went into this nightmare. So many terrible, terrible decisions had to be made to make the timeline change work, and it shows. Just for starters, we have Mizuki's backstory being rewritten and flung out the window, we’ve got characters willfully acting very stupid about when things are happening and exchanging painfully awkward dialogue, and important and meaningful and emotional reactions and scenes are constantly being skipped — all in service of one twist. One twist that only matters to the player. The timelines being scrambled does not affect Mizuki or Ryuki or anyone else one iota, because they already know what order everything is happening in! They have nothing to discover, since they’ve known from the beginning, even if their dialogue is crafted to tiptoe around that fact. The entire thing is only for the player. Why does Mizuki apparently forget Date is missing after the first thirty seconds of the game and never express any care for him, Iris, etc ever again? Why are there two identical Mizukis who somehow decorated their moped identically despite completely different upbringings?? It’s all literally just so this twist can work, so that there can be two interchangeable Mizukis. Other characters have to behave identically in past and present, and other obstacles have to be safely out of the way. There is no other way for the twist to work, and none of these actively game-ruining elements serve any other purpose. The end result is that AINI is…so stupid. It doesn't feel like a story. It feels like a bunch of elements put together around a central twist. No character gets to be an actual character. They're all walking clues and nothing more, and their development is purposefully stunted so they can act the same way in past in present. It hurts Mizuki most of all, and as devotedmizukilover420, this is what makes the game unsalvageable to me. The two Mizukis might be the dumbest "clue"/element/twist of all, because the whole thing makes entirely zero sense with AITSF (or any kind of logic, really.) You're telling me that all along, Boss has been raising an adopted daughter named Mizuki who looks exactly like Mizuki and that just didn't impact AITSF at all? Mizuki was living with Boss and Saito left Hitomi tied to a bomb in Boss's house — so Mizuki 2 just...wasn't home and missed that? Didn't care that her mom went missing? Meanwhile, Boss is just keeping this secret all along bc she wanted a super secret agent who was loyal only to her or whatever? (see my thoughts below on AINI's hot anti-adoption agenda.) Yeah, sure, right. Not to mention, "AITSF/Classic Mizuki was adopted by the Okiuras" is also bullshit. Even putting aside the way it slam-dunks the message and themes of AI1 Mizuki route into the garbage. Okay, she coincidentally has Shoko's unique hair color and exact face shape, and Shoko recounts when she was a newborn and hated her stroller and wanted to be held all the time, and Renju makes a clumsy comparison between Shoko and captive animals who give birth….but the Okiuras adopted Mizuki when she was three and there's no genetic relation. Complete and utter bullshit, and character-hurting bullshit at that. But it’s a necessary twist to pull off the dual timelines because we need to be able to have an 18-y/o (identically dressed….) Mizuki running around six years ago. I wouldn’t mind this so much if it didn’t impact Mizuki’s character, and her AITSF route, so heavily, but...it does. It ruins everything. AINI just hates adoption so much that it had to wipe out the pro-adoption message from its predecessor too (I will get to all this in more detail later - there’s just so much to hate about this game!)

Gotta say though, bold move to have a clone character and have the game’s conclusion be “Yes, the two clones are exactly the same in every way, they don’t have independent identities, nothing about their lives or experiences shaped them in any way, they are literal halves of a whole with no differences between them, and they’re totally okay with that and have no negative feelings about it.” Don’t think I’ve ever seen a piece of media do that before. Because, well, it sucks. It’s silly and stupid and just awful, awful writing.

I'm sure all the Horidori Institute stuff was coined solely to pull off the timeline twist — including the two Mizukis, our Mizuki's new backstory/canon superpowers (also stupid and takes all the fun out of her cartoonish super strength - just let things be fun, AINI!), and everything with Shoma. That only adds to the way this game just feels like a singular house of cards with one sole goal, and that goal is "to lie about the timelines and then reveal it was a lie at the very end." It's not even cleverly obfuscated, you just have an incorrect timeline and then you get a correct one. The big reveal just being "Mama tells you bc she has supernatural powers now — than straight up says there's nothing supernatural about the case" doesn't help. There was no way to skillfully incorporate that so they just drop it. And then move on. Because in the end, like absolutely everything else, it doesn't matter. The final battle is pointless and has nothing to do with the rest of the game because every aspect of this game was built around a twist that has nothing to do with its characters. Even the killers were designed and created completely in service to this twist. And yet, despite all of that, no real time or effort is devoted to revealing the twist, it’s just hastily dropped and then abandoned for good. Even the writers don’t like the twist, I guess!

Now, gaze upon what I genuinely believe is the stupidest line in the entire game, and what sums up exactly why it fails.

That’s right! There’s nothing supernatural here! Nothing fun, interesting, or entertaining. Nothing characterful, nothing that adds meaning or development. It was all just a very straightforward lie. What, you expected better? You thought, after the last game harnessed a supernatural twist that developed and added to its world and characters, that this game would too? You thought in a world of exploring brains and dreams, machines that slice perfectly in half, magical suicide plagues, and bodyswapping, that there might be more to the story? You goddamn dumbass. The game knew that you would think that, and it laughs at and mocks you for it. You thought the writers put in actual effort? You thought they cared about the world they were creating? That was your idiotic mistake. How silly of you! The most straightforward, boring explanation was the correct one. Nothing supernatural here!

And that's...part one of four. I said this was long and I meant it.

PART TWO: THE CHARACTERS

Another big issue with AINI is that it has no idea if it's standalone or a sequel, and as a result, it utterly fails to be both. AITSF characters get no development in AINI, to avoid spoiling their game. But they aren't really playing any roles at all. They stick out like sore thumbs because they have no reason to be there. They get no real introduction. The new characters are shallow, sure, and they only exist to serve the Plot Twist, but they do exist and serve a purpose. Why the fuck was Hitomi even in this game for all of two scenes? This seems like it'd be really jarring for a standalone player, since they now need to keep track of like…ten potential suspects. Except they aren’t really meant to be suspects, and they actually don't matter to the game at all. So Sejima, for example, is being super suspicious, but we returning players all know he can’t be up to much of anything. How is a new player supposed to guess that? Meanwhile, even on "no-spoiler" mode, massive spoilers get dropped for AITSF. Character backstories, motivations, the connections between them — they’re either implied or stated outright. You're kinda not supposed to know a lot of this stuff going into AITSF and, well, if you play AINI first…you will. Even "Mizuki gets adopted by Date" is a spoiler and that isn't hidden at all, but that's by far one of the more minor things. This isn’t even touching on Date being in his Saito body and voice by inexplicably wearing a custom mask, which is not only bizarre but terrible, terrible character writing (though I give it a pass because it keeps DC Douglas out of this game.) The writers tried to have their cake and eat it too, and as a result they just set the whole cake on fire.

The cast feels completely flat. Tama and Ryuki fit right in with the classic crew…because they serve no purpose, play no real role, and develop in no way at all. Ryuki is always just kinda There, with nothing much to do but pine over Date, fail to solve mysteries, and act “crazy” until he gets magically cured at the end. All the new characters kinda feel like retreading old ground with tweaked personalities and designs. Kizuna is a less bombastic Iris -- she gets kidnapped a bunch and likes conspiracy theories and sings and dances. Her dad is the Morally Dubious Rich Dad Bad At Parenting With A Shifty Past...Gen is a diner owner hopelessly in love with a teenager...Bibi is literally Mizuki Again...etc. I'm not surprised the AI1 cast has pretty much nothing to do — considering this is meant to be a companion game that doesn't spoil AI1, they can't really do much with them. They can’t even be considered as murder suspects, obviously (minus Amame, who really isn’t a returning character at all.) But also it's really disappointing how shallow they all feel. Iris is like…at least 80% more manic pixie dream girl than usual. Iit's not even being offset by her tumor, or her faking, or Saito faking, so that's exhausting. Date is literally just standing around making porno mag jokes or having them made about him (and they ruined the funny part, which is Aiba repeatedly lying to him and him repeatedly falling for it. Instead he just yells PORNO MAG POWER and gets tougher which is just...so not remotely funny at all.) Mizuki feels like a passive side character in her own game. Ota and Moma still just perv on Iris and do nothing of substance, with even the better aspects of their character now cleanly wiped away to prevent having to do any actual writing. The cameos were shallow at best. Even for our alleged MCs - it felt like instead of actually having Mizuki, Date, etc, we just got pieces of cardboard with "Mizuki", "Date", etc written on them in crayon. Cheap imitations.

Meanwhile, the writers still hate women, so that's fantastic. Seriously, revealing last minute that actually Gen has a thing for Amame (an incredibly creepy and obsessive thing) while she sees him as a fucking FATHER FIGURE is absolutely disgusting, and ruined their entire route as well as Gen as a character for me. To these writers, every woman immediately becomes a sex object once they grow tits, so of course their male characters are the same way. This makes me really glad they tossed Date to the curb and he and Mizuki barely interacted, because I would be miserable if they ruined that relationship the way they ruined Falco and Iris and now Gen and Amame. Mizuki’s of age now, after all, so she’s officially a sex object! Similarly, starting off Kizuna and Lien's relationship with an age gap and stalking was a shitty call and ruins their whole storyline too, when it could have been really sweet. Lien can't mature as a person because it would spoil The Twist, and Kizuna just goes from "mostly not sad" to "sad all the time" as the entirety of her development, so that really only adds to how flat both their characters are. (Don’t get me started on her whole disability arc, which felt thrown in for brownie points at best and was terribly handled as usual.) Mizuki makes sex jokes now. which feels really creepy coming from a school-age teenager we’ve previously known as a twelve-year-old, comments on how cute and young she is a lot, and constantly whines about wanting a boyfriend. Aiba even complains about Mizuki being flat-chested?? There's maybe a little less of the perviness than there is in AITSF just bc Date isn't playable, but what there is feels very creepy. I’m not surprised they kept this aspect but damn, it still sucks.

The side ends - you know, the CHARACTER ends, where much of AITSF's best work shone - feel like they were just kinda thrown in because they're expected. They don't feel as finished as the endings in AITSF. Gen/Amame's was just all over the place (I'm not even clear on what HAPPENED in half of it, let alone why, and Uchikoshi has since said a bunch of weird lies about it being followed up on in a “third eye” on his twitter. I’m not even getting into that, but if you believe a word he says, I invite you to look into all the times he claimed Santa and Snake would make a comeback in ZTD, or how Alice’s legend from 999 would be relevant to VLR.) Kizuna/Lien just kinda randomly cuts off. Shoma/Komeji was something at least, but it was really short and premature. I don’t know if explosion really counts as an ending, but it sucked too — why would a new player care about a big rock falling on the guy who only exists to talk about porn and neglect and bicker with his daughter? Just because Ryuki's in love with him (maybe, sort of, it will never be made explicit canon)? Meanwhile, returning players know they wouldn’t kill Date off, plus he's been in his most basic boring form all game, so they have no reason to really care either. What is even the point of this ending? Kizuna is just there to become disabled so Lien can have someone to be obsessed with and sad about, and he's just there to pick locks. Mizuki losing her eye -- you know, the thing a serial killer did to her parents, including Date -- is an afterthought at best. Blah. If this is supposed to be the "annihilation" of AINI, it…really, really falls flat.

The game doesn't know if it's a sequel or not, and like I said, trying to both have and eat the cake means the cake just gets set on fire. Hitomi is here for two scenes with no significance and just bloats the cast (I am not even going to get started on how flat and lame her and Date’s relationship has become. Feeling super bad for anyone who shipped them.) Ota and Iris keep showing up just to kinda be stupid for a scene (seriously Iris is EXTREMELY dumb in this, something went really wrong with those nanomachines and they fried all her gray matter) and then they vanish again into the distance of No Purpose. Date is an insufferable ass who only cares about porn magazines, mentions them in every fucking scene, now yells "porno mag power" when he activates that power (OVER AND OVER IN ALMOST EVERY COMBAT SCENE HE'S IN) and treats Mizuki like shit. And poor, poor Mizuki gets it worst of all — she's still a snarky, kinda bratty, tough kid, but that's all she is now. All that love and devotion and determination and kindness and intelligence? Gone. If she cares too much about her loved ones or thinks about herself too much, she would be unique from Bibi and the twist would be spoiled, and heaven knows we can't have that. Aiba is the only character who feels like herself, and even she feels overly cruel to Mizuki sometimes (and Date often.) I don't know why a new player would feel any attachment to these characters, and as someone who did play and love aspects of AITSF, I just felt cheated. It would have been better to not include any of them at all than to have these crappy imitations. Meanwhile, "no AITSF spoiler mode" spoils a ton of shit. Just reveal a connection between Iris and So on "no spoiler" mode, why the fuck not? Reveal that Shoko was abusive, she and Renju both died, and Date adopted Mizuki? Mention Iris having a "condition" that is now "stable" in one throwaway line for no goddamn discernible reason??? The game does all this and more. On no spoiler mode!!!

This game unashamedly hates its characters. And thanks to that, so do I. It really is a shame. It’s the epitome of “flanderization” in one single game, but it’s for every character, over and over again.

This is easily the most-reposted screenshot I’ve seen from AINI, which...says a lot about the quality of its humor and the relevance of its returning cast IMO.

PART THREE: FUCK ADOPTION

This is the first piece of media since Once Upon A Time on ABC that presents the unique and controversial moral of "fuck adoption." All in order to make Mizuki have an older clone sister. For the Twist. The same reason we do everything around here. Mizuki’s parents can’t just be shitty parents. they must be shitty ADOPTIVE parents, because ADOPTIVE parents suck and don’t love their kids.

But don't worry guys. Because Mizuki and Bibi are clones. Therefore they are biologically related. Therefore they GENETICALLY love each other. By the end of the game, Mizuki and Bibi, despite having barely met, love each other desperately, are the most important people in one another's lives, are never seen apart from each other and treated as a singular character, and are literally Two Halves Of A Whole, Let's Go. Because, you know. They're sisters, but the GOOD kind, the BIOLOGICAL kind, the ONLY real kind.

Gag me.

I saw screenshots of Date and Mizuki doing "I'm home" / "Welcome back" after he returns and thought, well, at least I'll get thrown a few crumbs to lap off the floor. Nope. Aiba has to specifically prompt Date into saying "I'm home," saying that Mizuki wants to hear it. He begrudgingly does so, Mizuki responds...but then says she didn't want to do that anyway and they move back on to the all-important Plot. Ouch. I seriously don't know how Mizuki route came from the same team. Date and Mizuki are barely tolerating each other at best here. They actually showed a lot more affection on the AITSF B routes, which is insane since that’s the route where OTA calls Date out for being neglectful. Meanwhile, Boss uses Bibi as a special agent and keeps her very existence a secret. Kizuna's dad doesn't really seem to care about Bibi either despite having raised her for years, and prioritizes his bio daughter. And as the cherry on top...the Okiuras treated Mizuki like shit because she was adopted all along, of course! Adopted parents are evil and bad, right? And bio parents would never mistreat their bio children, right? Right. Who cares if this totally throws Mizuki's arc in AITSF out the window? Even Bibi and Kizuna's relationship is never really given focus once Bibi is revealed. Bibi only really cares about Mizuki. Her REAL sister. Because they are related and that is all that matters.

Even the villains love their biological son and will do lots of evil for him! Tokiko gives an entire speech about how much she loved her bio son even though she didn't raise him, to the point where she and her ex kidnapped a random child, groomed him into a cult, and gave his organs to her bio son. Kidnapped child meanwhile views her as his mom. On its own, I wouldn't think too much about it, but in conjunction with the Mizukis…this how adoption is treated in AINI. It is A Very Bad Thing. Adoptive parents do not love their children anymore. Both Mizukis go through two adoptive families and are treated badly or ignored by both, and this is just normal, I guess.

Also So suddenly seems to care about Iris, at least a little bit, despite his not giving a shit in AITSF. But, hey, they are biologically related....(I actually wouldn’t mind this if they like, did anything with it. But they don’t. Instead they totally destroy any depth So’s character ever had by making him a total horndog who runs around conceiving various serial killers. Wheee, the killer is the half-brother of the previous killer, and they are both the half-brothers of another character, because So can’t keep it in his pants. Seriously, what a stupid twist. Hilarious but stupid.)

The Komeji-Dois love each other and are very sweet. They are the only ones that seem to, though. Because blood. Genetics. DNA. As the only bio family with significant screentime, of course they actually love each other, right?

Also, side note, remember Ryuki's twin brother who died? He sure was significant huh :)

Part Four: Miscellany

The most baffling thing of all about how bad AINI is is its glowing reviews. Don’t get me wrong: people can like things I don’t. But the reviews I read were on so many occasions blatantly false. I saw claims that AINI has fewer or even NO dirty jokes, that it does not sexualize the 18 y/o characters, that Date and Mizuki’s relationship was explored more in-depth, that the game runs great on Switch, that the AI Vision lag was fixed, that spoilers are avoidable. All of these things are objective, and they were blatantly false. Every person I have talked to who played on Switch had lag and framerate issues even worse than the first game’s, and most of them reported at least one hard crash. AI Vision loading in high-res models is still a major issue that disrupts the game’s flow on lower-end consoles and PCs. Bibi’s mess of a Somnium just got its bugs patched a few days ago, in NOVEMBER, so you can actually play it without getting thirty game overs from touching unrelated objects. The dirty jokes are abundant and often about 18 y/o high schoolers (they even aged down Amame, which really wasn’t necessary at all - a 20 y/o and an 18 y/o can be friends, after all - just to keep her barely legal!) Date and Mizuki loathe each other. And “no spoiler mode” is, as discussed above, a fucking joke. I don’t know how this game of telephone got started or why so many big names lied in their reviews, but damn, it sure made the game even more disappointing when I realized that most of what I had read wasn’t even true. I have no idea why so many people who received review copies felt the need to lie. I have to assume they weren’t deliberate lies. But...how on earth could they have convinced themselves that this game no longer has dirty jokes? Or that there’s no lag, or bugs, or weird crashes? I get that Uchikoshi is funny and nice on Twitter, but we’re allowed to say negative things about his games!

And, on the note of Uchikoshi games, can we just say that the second time you come up with “disease that makes you kill yourself” it is less effective? Seriously, isn’t this just the same basic apocalypse plot as VLR/ZTD?? Why are we doing this again, it doesn’t work a second time!!!! aaaaaaargh

The quicktime events in this game suck so much. Just press a button to parkour. There’s no creativity, no unique use of Aiba/Tama’s abilities, no silly elaborate traps for the baddies or jokes or teamwork, just. Flip punch kick jump. Woo-hoo. The one time we do something vaguely creative it’s just exploding the damn porno vending machine and we already did that in the first game. AINI has no identity of its own.

Half To Whole is catchy but its lyrics suck. Gen/Amame BS AND Mame doesn’t get to sing. Most of the lyrics are random asides that don’t work with the characters or themes (but hey, Date, Ota, Mama, and Iris HAVE to sing about kappa catching, because it’s not like any of them got fuckall to do in the main game after all!) Mizukis whining about wanting boyfriends and singing in perfect harmony because they are not separate characters (and allegedly crying on the inside whenever they fight?? what??) Changing lyrics to make Ryuki sound straight (gay rights! Seriously why are we pretending Ryuki is gay representation??) It’s just an absolute trashfire. The only vaguely meaningful lyric is “Without you I am only half, I need to be whole” but even that one pisses me off, because it ties into the game’s ongoing weird idea that characters can only exist with one another, that they aren’t whole people alone. Especially the idea that Mizuki and Bibi are “two halves of a whole” - fuck you, they’re different people and they only just met! But no, they will never be independent people again. They don’t even get separate lines in the song outside of the first verse and otherwise harmonize everything (bless Mizuki’s VA for at least trying to give them different singing voices...). The one saving grace of an AI3 is that Bibi probably won’t get to be in it for spoiler purposes, so maybe Mizuki will get to do something without her (but probably not.)

In Conclusion (Fuck This Game)

AITSF felt like it constructed its character arcs, mystery, twists, lore, and gameplay all side by side to make one full story. AINI…only even bothered to have mystery, twists, and gameplay, and only the last one ends up working even remotely because so much was sacrificed for the mediocre twists. The big reveals of AITSF matter to the story and the characters, whereas the biggest twist in AINI has nothing to do with the game's universe and is just for the Frayer…then they do nothing with that concept anyway beyond a bonus ending. In the end, it's as flat and frankly soulless as everything else. So who cares?

My MOST hated thing about AINI is its "only biological family matters" thesis. My second most hated thing is how it takes a massive dump on every single character. And the third is how it just generally is an utter failure of a mystery with no depth whatsoever. I have always hated Bravely Second and held it up as an example of how to utterly fail a video game sequel, destroying the predecessor in the process. This game, however, is at least twice as terrible as Bravely Second. At least the aptly abbreviated BS did in fact manage to have some fun twists despite hating and flanderizing its entire cast; AINI couldn’t even pull that off. Calling it a cheap, forced cash grab the devs clearly never wanted to make still feels too generous. This game sucks.

TL;DR: AINI isn’t even half and will definitely never be whole.

#txt #aini spoilers #ainispoilers #aini //#aini critical #aini hate #aitsf //#that is the best i can do as far as tags i think #this will probably show up when people search aini but lbr #nothing i can do about that #and i need to have the spoiler tags on so #that's that #not expecting anyone to read this just. desperatelt want to get it off my chest

86 notes · View notes

justmochi · 1 year

Text

Wasted

pairing :: eden x seokmin

word count :: 2.4k

synopsis :: a rare occasion where eden gets drunk

time :: january 2022

warnings :: fluff, comedy, angst(?)

a/n :: also pls lmk if theres any errors or mispellings bc I DID NOT PROOFREAD

taglist :: @cafemilk-tea @cixrosie @moonlight-additions @cosmicwintr @astraw-astro @ateezjuliet @fromfreesia @succulentmom @kimhyejin3108 @enhacolor

“Sometimes I worry if that’s all I’m good at. Writing. Like what if I just give up being an idol and become a full time lyricist.” She spun her shot glass around, watching the soju almost coming close to spilling out. Seokmin quickly leaned into her, his arm resting on the back of her chair and kissing her temple.

“Noo. You’re so talented, one of the most talented people I know. You have more talent in your pinky finger than most people in their entire body these days.” She looked up at him with a pout, biting the inside of her cheek.

“You have one of the most beautiful voices I’ve ever heard. And you’re such a cool rapper and dancer. There’s nothing you can’t do.”

Eden pursed her lips, looking down at her class and holding it up for a cheers. They both took a shot, Seokmin quickly pressing his head against hers and smiling. “No matter what you choose to do, I’ll be your biggest fan. Promise” He held out his pinky, the couple completing the promise.

“I want to forget about my deadlines. Just for tonight.” She poured herself another shot before downing it.

She got through two more bottles of soju before feeling herself start to let go. The third bottle was going to be the finale before she was completely wasted. Seokmin stopped drinking after his first bottle, making sure he would be able to witness her being drunk and also being capable of taking care of her.

Eden slammed her head down on the table, whining as she came in contact with the surface. He gasped, picking her head up and placing the back of his hand on her forehead so she could rest it against him. He quickly called over the bartender, requesting the bill and water for them both.

“You’re gonna hurt yourself, E.” He rubbed her back, trying his best to comfort her.

“I’m sorry.” She moved her forehead against his hand, finding it oddly satisfying while they waited. It was like a facial massage.

“Do you feel a little bit better?” He pouted, brushing her hair to the side and pecking her cheek.

She smiled, hiccuping while turning to face him. She pressed her finger against his bottom lip as she giggled. “I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.”

Seokmin watched as the bartender dropped two glasses of water off for them. He pushed the glass closer to her, helping her sip on the liquid with a straw. “That’s good. Our ride will be here soon enough.”

“I wanna go home with you.” She held her hand out for him, losing her balance when sitting on the chair. He was quick to catch her and keep her upright on the stool.

“Woah there. You’re coming home with me regardless.” He laughed nervously, standing to his feet and wrapping his arm around her.

“Okay good.” She chuckled, covering her mouth as she let out a burp. “That’s gross I’m sorry.”

He patted her head softly, throwing her jacket over her shoulders and slipping his arm around her waist. “We’re gonna start walking now, okay?”

Eden nodded her head, wrapping both her arms around him and hugging him tight. She was a little wobbly but it wasn't too difficult for him to support her. Exiting the pub, he quickly spotted the car he called for and approached the door.

He opened the car door, helping Eden in. “Be careful. Watch your head.” He had his palm on the top of her head in case she was to jolt and hit the ceiling. She giggled as he reached over her and fastened her seatbelt. Her fingers danced on his shoulder as she tapped a rhythm.

“Stay put. Let me go on the other side.” He pinched her cheeks, smiling before shutting the door and rushing to the opposite side. He got himself buckled in, scooting closer to her side and giving the driver his address.

“I did as you said. I didn’t move.” She tried her best to cuddle up close to him, her seatbelt restricting her until she let out a whine when she couldn’t move any further. She was locked in, causing Seokmin to laugh.

“Yes, good girl.” He patted her head, noticing how she purred against his touch. “You probably weren’t going to get far with that seatbelt.”

She looked up at him, tracing his jaw with her finger. “You never call me that.”

“Good girl? Do you want me to start?” Eden shrugged her shoulders, blushing when he tapped on her nose.

“Maybe. But don’t overuse it.” She furrowed her eyebrows, her tone strict. He quickly put his hand over her eyes, teasing her while looking out the car window. The two didn’t talk much more on the way back to his place, only exchanging a few words and mumbles.

As soon as they arrived, Seokmin quickly undid his buckle and patted her knee. “Hang tight.” He got out and went to her side, opening the door and reaching over to unbuckle her. She was slouched against the seat, lazily holding her arms out for him.

“You don’t wanna walk?”

“Carry me.” She smiled, pleading with her eyes and him knowing he couldn’t refuse her. He scratched the back of his neck, quietly apologizing to the driver and maneuvering his arms under her knees and back. She tried covering her mouth to conceal her snorts, failing miserably.

He couldn’t help but laugh out loud, making sure he had her stable in his arms. She left nibbles and kisses on his neck, wrapping her arms around him before resting her head on his shoulder. He pushed himself back against the car door, shutting it and thanking the driver before making his way to the dorms.

“Look at my boyfriend. So strong and handsome.” She complimented him, her eyes shutting as her feet dangled in the air. “My very own king arthur.”

He got more and more flustered, surprised at her mentioning his musical. Even as they entered the elevator, he asked her to help him push the floor levels and code of his door in. They finally made it inside, Seokmin bending his knees and assisting her so she could lock the door. She kept turning it the wrong direction, causing both of them to laugh.

He carried Eden back to his bedroom, carefully setting her at the edge of the bed. She didn’t stay in the same position, placing her feet flat on the floor and slouching over.

“Home at last.” He let out a sigh with his hands on his hips before running his hand through her hair. “Tired yet?”

She placed her finger against her thumb, closing her eyes and whispering with a hiccup. “Maybe a little.”

“Well at least let me take off your makeup before you fall asleep.” He knelt in front of her, pulling her shoes off and setting them aside. She clapped her hands together before he stood up again, sliding her jacket off her shoulders and hanging it up in his closet. Then he found a loose shirt of his and walked back over to her. He grabbed both of her hands and admired how tiny they looked in his.

“Hands up.” He smiled, guiding her arms up so he could pull her top over her head. She giggled feeling his fingers brush against her sides. He quickly threw on his shirt over her head, carefully fitting her arms through the sleeves and pulling her hair out.

He took the spare hair tie she always kept on her wrist, gathering her hair together and putting it into a loose ponytail. She threw her head back, pouting before puckering her lips and making kissy noises.

“You want a kiss?” He rested his hands against her cheeks, smiling as she nodded.

“Yes, please.”

He gave her a quick peck, adoring the cute expression on her face. “Maybe another one?”

He rolled his eyes, giving her a kiss on her chin.

“Maybe two more.” So he gave her two more on each corner of her mouth.

“Okay, stay put while I go get some stuff.” He gave one more as a bonus, excusing himself to get the things to take her makeup off.

Eden got bored quickly, yawning before kicking her pants off her legs and onto his floor. He came back with cotton rounds and makeup remover. She looked happy to see him back.

Seokmin poured the cleanser onto the cotton, telling her to close her eyes before gently pressing them to her eyelids.

“I’ve never had someone take my makeup off for me.” She sighed, throwing her head back as she held onto his waist.

“I like it. It’s fun.” He chuckled, flipping the rounds over and going over the rest of her face. “I’ll take yours off whenever you want me to.”

She nodded, finally opening her eyes as he finished up.

“Should we wash your face too?” He hoped she would say yes, just so he could have the pleasure of pampering her.

“We probably should.” She agreed with him, standing up and wrapping her arms around his neck. He hugged her tightly, pressing his lips to her neck as he swayed both of them back and forth. He then lifted her up, wrapping her legs around his waist as he walked to his bathroom.

He shut the door behind them, placing her down and caging her in between his body and the sink. She grabbed his face with her hands, smiling as another hiccup escaped her body. “I love you a lot.”

“I love you more.” He argued, kissing the tip of her nose. He grabbed her cleanser from the side of the cabinet with her things in it. He always made sure there was a spare stock of her things whenever she did stay the night.

“No, I love you more.” She furrowed her eyebrows, pouting her lips as he snickered.

“Not a chance.” He lathered the foam up in his hands, gently massaging it on her face and being as delicate as he could. She couldn’t argue with him any further as he ran his fingertips across her lips. She started to hold her breath which made him giggle even more.

“You’re so beautiful.” He teased her before washing his hands off. “Do you wanna splash your face?”

She nodded, turning around in his grasp as he pulled back all her baby hairs so they didn’t get wet. She lazily rinsed her face off, Seokmin watching her in the mirror before wetting her hairline of the remaining cleanser. He reached for the towel, patting her face dry and grabbing the rest of her things.

She turned back around to face him, admiring his features as he was so soft and tender at applying

her products. “Can I ask you something?”

“Always.” His smile never went away as he traced her skin.

“Do you think I’m a good idol?”

He had no idea why she asked, because he was always vocal about how proud he was of her and everything she’s accomplished. “Of course. You’re so perfect and one of the best.”

She got quiet, breaking eye contact with him as he finished up her skincare. She was slowly sobering up, becoming more immersed with her own thoughts. He frowned, holding her tiny face in his hands and searching her eyes for any signs.

“What’s wrong?”

“I wonder if this is the right path for me. Sometimes I think I’m not cut out for this job.”

His heart broke a little, knowing that she still had little confidence in herself and wishing she could see herself the way he did.

“Our contract renewals are coming up soon and I just don’t know what to do.” She sighed, slouching her body as her back hit the edge of the sink. “I love what I do, but it also feels like an obstacle I’ll never get through.”

“You wanna know what I think?”

She hummed, looking up into his eyes as she felt her worries ease little by little.

“I think you’re the most beautiful person I've ever met. Everything about you is beautiful. Your personality, your singing, your artistry and ability to make music. I just don’t think you give yourself the credit you deserve.”

She felt the heat rise to her cheeks again, pressing the back of her hand to her face. He suddenly engulfed her into a tight hug, sighing into her shoulder. “I and so many people adore you. You’re so amazing.”

She hugged him back, inhaling his scent and shutting her eyes. She could always get lost in him.

“Do you think I should resign my contract?” It was always something that settled in the back of her head ever since her group was considered to be on hiatus. She’d be lying if she said it wasn’t the first thing she thought of when waking up and the last thought she had whenever she laid her head on her pillow.

He distanced himself from her, pushing her hair behind her ears before looking at her intently. “I want you to do whatever will make you happy. If you want to continue making music and showcasing your art to the world, I will support you. If you want to settle down and take things slow, I will support you on that too. All that matters to me is that you’re happy and healthy. You’re my best friend before anything.”

Tears began to well up in her eyes the more he spoke. She nodded, pressing her forehead to his chest as his shirt soaked up her tears. “Sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize, it’s okay. I love you.” He picked her up by the back of her legs, wrapping them around his waist just like he did before.

“I love you too.” She wiped her eyes while one of her arms held onto him.

Finally reaching his bedroom, he laid her flat on the bed before climbing on top of her. He pressed kisses to her forehead, both of her cheeks, and a few on her lips. He pulled back to smile at her, leaving one last lingering kiss on her lips before lying down next to her.

She turned on her side, quickly snuggling closer to him as he covered them both up with his blankets.

“You had a long day, you should probably sleep soon.” He reminded her, playing with her hair strands and pushing them back where they belonged.

“Can you do me a favor?” She whispered, pursing her lips as he nodded. “I’m not that drunk but can you repeat everything you said to me tonight in the morning? Just in case.”

He chuckled. “Of course. Always.” He kisses her cheek, pulling her tighter against his chest and hugging her like it was his one duty on this earth.

#justmochi: eden #eunmin #eden.love #eden.writings #blackpink 5th member #5th member of blackpink #fake blackpink member #fake blackpink oc #blackpink oc #fake kpop addition #fake kpop idol #fake kpop soloist #addition to kpop #idol!oc #idol!addition #idol!kpop #oc!kpop #oc!idol #oc!soloist

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hollywoodsargeant · 10 months

Note

I've just finished reading the last chapter of Boyish, and I loved it!!!

They're so stupid but so cute. Also, I really dislike Logan's gf, his ex was so much nicer, I'm gonna be so happy when they break up, lol

Btw the entire fic is amazing, and your writing is so good, I literally read from chapter I think 3 to chapter 9 today ( it took me nearly the whole day, but it was 100% worth it)

I'm so excited for next chapter!!

(Also, do you have a plan for when they finally realise they're idiots or do you not know when it's gonna happen and you're just going with the vibes?)

Sorry for the really long annoying message but I loved boyish a lot :')

thank you!! they are very stupid. i'm glad that's the general conensus on this fic. that they are a pair of Idiots. it's in the cards

and i will agree grace was much nicer than mia </3 but she will kick around a little longer. then. i think. no i won't be specific. bc i'm evil har har but i have plans in my brain. OH DIDN'T I. hm. actually have something to think about i'll come back to that

and thank you you are so sweet <3 methinks sometimes i forget how long the fic really is even if it took me like. three hours to proofread last night before i posted. and i still found an error this morning lmao if there's any more they slipped by me... but fr ao3 enhancements is telling me if i started reading from the beginning now i could finish by 10 pm (it's like 5) god help us all

and i do have a plan! i don't have anything written down because i am a loser who doesn't outline fics but i have. i have it figured out. and in general i have many scenes/moments planned for the rest of the fic but a lot of it definitely does come as i go. like w chapter 10 i know of two or three things that need to happen but the rest. idk yet we'll see!

but as for the ending. Yes. evil laughter. :)

#ask #sorry for vagueing it will happen again #i'm stirring the pot. or something #maybe i'm just evil #boyish.miamis

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albenyx · 2 years

Note

Hello im not sure if u are accepting request but huhu i hope there's thoma and ayato ver of that "love made me crazy"❤❤ i loveeee ur work!!!!! Tyyyyy

Love made me crazy

characters — ayato, thoma x fatui!reader

warnings: not proofread, grammatical errors, slight angst if u squint, also probably sucks and ayato is probs ooc

note: yes hello!! thank you for loving my work i try<33 thank you for the request as well bc omg i was just thinking about these two and i hope this meets your expectations sob

part one (diluc & kaeya)

stupid. that's what they felt, something was off about you that they knew, but they thought you'd be different

that you'd be gentle with their heart, making sure to take care of it. But you were here, in front of them, with a sword that's probably going to be used to assassinate them.

betrayal was something they weren't new to, they were aware it's possible to happen, how foolish of them to think that someone would love them for them— wait..

are you pointing your weapon in front of your own allies..?

— AYATO

ayato knew the moment you approached him there was a catch, amused by your confidence to approach the yashiro commissioner himself, he thought it wouldn't hurt to humor you HAH HE THOUGHT

getting side tracked with his goal, he in fact fell in love with you during the process of gaining your trust in exchange for his. it wasn't his intention, he just couldn't help it, you were incredible in his eyes, and so he fell for you.

that was a mistake, a huge mistake in his part, because here you stand in front of him with fatui agents behind you. betrayed, you betrayed him he thinks, noticing how you had a strong grip on your weapon

funny.. and here i thought i could trust you.

"[name] How could you-!" one of the guards that accompanied the commissioner speaks before pausing hesitantly "not to worry, i'll handle it." ayato murmurs to them, pulling out his sword

"what you did is certainly unforgivable, and i will not tolerate such dirty behavior even if you are— were my lover."

"i'm afraid you're gonna have to forgive me on this one, ayato."

just as ayato put his emotions to the side and prepared himself for a battle between the two of you, he finds himself dumbfounded at the scene of you pointing your weapon towards your allies with a dark look on your face

an agent attempts to strike you, and you barely managed to dodge the attack as you were pointing your weapon on another agent, and that's when a fight had began in front of the commissioner who looked like he was still processing the situation

he instantly snaps out of it at the sound of two weapons clashing, ayato sees you holding your weapon with both hands as an agent attempts to choke you with their own weapon that had ayato commanding the guards with him to assist you, before he himself comes to your rescue.

"thank you"

"i'd like an explanation later"

— THOMA

thoma never saw this coming, you looked so innocent, and so open that he never expected you to be one of the fatui never judge a book by its cover, sorry

but you stood there in front of him with a look on your face that he had never seen before was it all a lie? am I that stupid?

he wanted, he begged the archons that this was just a misunderstanding and that you weren't preparing your weapon to attack him, he hoped that there was a reason, a good one or that you were blackmailed into doing this

though as much as thoma would like to lie to himself about the situation, you were there, this is real, everything that's happening right now is real.

"[name]?" thoma could only stare at you disappointingly, scanning your face for any signs of fear, or explanation but you seemed unreadable as you turned to look away

he notices your grip on your weapon, tense, you're tense he realises and he couldn't feel any more relieved when you swing your sword to an agent attempting a surprise attack that almost backfired as a shield appears

looking towards Thoma you see him look at you in relief, before he runs towards you while signaling to the guards (that had been standing the whole time thoma processed the situation) to assist you both

"thank archons! you're—"

"yes I know, i'm sorry sunshine. but I'll explain myself after this okay?"

#genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin ayato #genshin thoma #ayato x reader #thoma x reader #thoma #ayato kamisato #genshin scenarios #nyx — writes.🖊

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atinyniki · 7 months

Text

stay with me...

group: stray kids !

pairing: idol!lee felix x f!reader

genre: angst with an angsty ending, fluff at the beginning

warnings + additional info: pt 2 of “instant ramen”!, reader is referred to as y/n, established relationships, felix is referred to as lix, and lixie, petnames, pregnancy, miscarriage, post-loss depression, crying, vomiting, death.

authors note: all i can say is sorry. i dont know why exactly i thought of this but im planning on making a pt 3. hopefully this doesnt break your heart :( ending was a bit rushed bc i didnt feel like crying anymore :( this is also not proofread. english is not my first language, so please excuse any grammatical or spelling errors. happy reading :)

wc: 2407

(pt. 1) || (pt. 3)

HUGE TW, PROCEED WITH CAUTION: miscarriage, pregnancy, blood, and the pain that goes along with it.

“lixieee im home!”

you came home with such a big smile on your face. you were a little grumpy about work, your mood swings not making things any better, and you felt a little sick. nonetheless, you were still excited to come home to your boyfriend.

“hey pretty! i’m making some brownies, just give me a bit yeah? they’ll be done in 20”

you walk over to him, giving him a quick peck on the cheek and thanking him before leaving to your room to go shower.

throwing off your clothes, you enter the shower rather quickly, hoping that it will refresh you enough. you run the vanilla shampoo through your hair, the feeling of the bubbles running down your back relaxing you.

all of a sudden, the scent of vanilla hits your nose, an uneasy feeling washing over you. you finish your shower as fast as you can, putting on your clothes and then rushing out the bathroom. maybe you were just hungry?

“hey lix”, you said with a weak smile, sitting down at the table where he was waiting with leftovers from yesterday and his brownies.

“hey angel, you hungry now?”

“mhm…”

he dumps the food out onto your plates, but you grab a brownie before even looking at the food. felix’s brownies could never get old. you take a bite, the warm fudge practically melting in your mouth.

you enjoyed the brownie, and felix began to pick one up, when suddenly your eyes went wide. the same terrible feeling was back, except stronger now. you tried to fight it by swallowing the part of the brownie that was already in your mouth.

the feeling didn’t leave, and you found yourself scrambling to your feet to stand up. “baby… what’s wrong?”

you couldn’t answer, afraid that the bits of your brownie would end up on him, and instead ran to the kitchen sink. felix made sure to follow behind just as fast. the second you got to the sink, you were letting go.

felix watched as you vomited out the brownie and the rest of the food you had today, quickly grabbing your hair so it wouldn’t get in the way. his other hand ran soothing circles around your back, hoping to calm you down.

you threw up with such force that bile shot out your nose, felix now becoming even more concerned. once you’ve calmed down and washed your face, felix finally speaks up. “let’s get you to bed baby.”, he sighs lightly.

he quickly picks you up bridal style, setting you down on your bed carefully. you let out a little whine when felix left, but quickly returned with an emergency bucket. “just in case”, he said with a sweet smile.

he brought the hair dryer from the bathroom, not wanting you to get sick from the cold, and quickly blow dried your hair. he didnt work on styling it, wanting you to get rest as soon as possible.

he quickly runs to grab you a jug of warm water to place on your tummy. you loved that he was so attentive to you, especially on days he was back at home. “i love you lix. i’m sorry for what happened”

“it’s not like you could control it dummy, go to sleep now. i love you”

that morning, felix woke up to an empty bed. the bucket next to you was filled to the brim with bile, felix instantly darting to the bathroom. his heart broke seeing you on the floor, vomiting into the toilet as you shook violently.

he quickly held your hair back again, rubbing the soft part of your tummy to soothe it. “baby what’s going on? did you eat something?”

you shook your head, not trusting your own words in case vomit came out instead. you’re tired, completely worn out. it feels like all the energy in your body has just left you.

suddenly, a wave of realization comes over you, and you begin to panic. you’re constantly vomiting. you have terrible mood swings. you didn’t get your period. everything lines up perfectly.

your breaths become labored, soon becoming large gasps for breath. “felix- i…”

he begins to become extremely worried. “what baby? what’s wrong?”

“i…”; you can’t go on. you’re exhausted. it’s the last thing you remember saying before you black out, almost falling into the toilet if felix weren’t holding you back right now.

“shit- y/n? stay with me okay? i’m calling an ambulance.”

felix struggled to stay calm, tears running down his face as he tried to stop his voice from quivering. “my girlfriend, she needs help. she’s been vomiting like crazy and- she’s passed out right now”, he said it so fast the dispatcher almost couldn’t understand him.

the ambulance was at your house within minutes, felix holding you in his arms again while he waited. he could still feel your breath fanning over his neck, a sense of comfort washing over him. quickly, you guys took off to the hospital.

“felix?”

“oh god baby! you’re awake? are you feeling okay?”

your head hurt a little, and you were incredibly confused, but you decided to tell him anyways. it was probably important. “my head hurts a little bit, but that’s okay”

he holds your hand, clutching tightly, afraid there’s actually something wrong.

the doctor opens the door, sitting on one of the chairs next to where all the machines are hooked up. “okay so, we’ve figured out why you’ve been vomiting so much.”, she pauses.

felix is practically squirming in his seat, afraid for the words about to come out of her mouth. “congratulations, you’re pregnant.”

all of a sudden, his hand lets go, instead using it to slap it over his mouth to conceal his squeals. you jerk your head towards him, afraid of his reaction until you see the tears in his eyes and his bright smile.

you smile back, turning to the doctor who hands you a paper with an article about pregnancy and the symptoms that go along with it. “thank you so much”

“of course, the release forms are at the front desk. call if you need anything. once again, congratulations you two”, she says with a smile.

once she leaves, felix couldn’t hold back, kissing your face practically everywhere. “oh my gosh! y/n!”

you couldn’t help but laugh at his excitement. you were so happy he wasn’t upset or anything. you’ve been wanting to start a family with him for as long as you could remember, but you’re not even married yet.

suddenly, your thoughts hit you like a boulder. “felix… what about the media. what do we tell everyone”

he paused for a moment, he didn’t even think about that aspect of it. “i’ll call them. i’ll call management. if they say it’s not acceptable then fuck it. i’ll quit my job. don’t worry about them, please?”

you smile at felix’s dedication for you. you knew he was going to be such an amazing father.

“wait seriously?! she’s pregnant?”, changbin giggled excitedly.

“seriously. she’s pregnant!”

felix is at the dorms right now with the boys, and he couldn’t be any happier telling them about it. management was very happy for him and understanding of his situation, but he didn’t want to release it to the media just yet.

it’s nearing your third month now, your exhaustion becoming more unbearable by the second. you believed you could push through it though, waiting patiently for felix on the bed.

felix makes it home that night in an exceptionally happy mood. he smothers your face in millions of kisses, holding your hands tight and giggling into your neck. “i love you so much. i can’t wait for our little sprout”

it was difficult to keep his excitement contained around you, but he knew he didn’t have to. you are just as excited as he is.

you slice open the cake, a myriad of pink candies falling out the center. you were so excited to have your baby girl, you could already predict how well she and felix would get along.

“see?! she’s a girl. i knew it.”, seungmin said smugly.

“shut up, we get it. you were the only one that predicted she’s a girl anyways”, jisung replies, jokingly aggrivated.

“yeah, meaning i’m also the only one that was right”, he retorts with a wink.

jisung rolls his eyes, moving to you to give you a hug. it felt awkward hugging all the boys with a baby bump in the way, but it wasn’t all that big yet, so it wasn’t too bad. you continued having fun at the party, singing with the boys the entire time.

you’re so happy your girl is being born into such a good world. you’re lucky all the boys love you so much, you know they’ll all be amazing to your little sprout.

minho looked at you with an incredulous look on his face. “so you want me to make you tteokbokki, but instead of gochujang you want me to use… nutella?”

“i told you man, her pregnancy cravings are fucking crazy”, felix chimes in.

you quickly nod at minho, who instantly gets up to prepare it for you. there’s not a lot that minho wouldn’t do for you or your daughter, considering the fact that you’re best friends already.

“so did you just call me here to cook because felix sucks at anything without a recipe?”

“for the most part yeah”, you let out a giggle. felix walks over to you, kissing you again and peppering them all over your face. a particularly loud groan leaves his lips, and minho jerks his head towards you both.

felix gets off you not too long after, but only to wrap you in a hug from behind, holding your bump up to ease the weight of her. minho visibly gagged at the sight of you two, “okay can you guys stop making out and actually talk to me now? i don’t feel like third wheeling”, he joked.

all three of you began to laugh, you were so excited to start this new chapter with felix.

fuck. what is happening? why does your heart feel so heavy? why do you feel so uneasy. maybe you’re just upset, you’re fine right? you sit on the bed, watching some edits of felix- your guilty pleasure.

all of a sudden, a sharp pain hits your gut. you groan out in pain, tears flooding your eyes. you begin to get up, trying your best to make it to the bathroom. you’re suddenly throwing up again, and you didn’t think anything of it since it was pretty normal.

once you clean yourself up a little, you make your way back to the bed. the sharp pain hit you again, this time making you sink to the floor as you clutch your stomach. “fuck…”

the feeling in between your thighs becomes uneasy, becoming excruciatingly painful. you feel something dripping down your thighs, taking a quick look at it. there’s a pool of blood dripping down onto the hardwood floor, when the pain comes back.

the tears leave your eyes in heavy sobs. you can’t pick yourself back up, the pain becoming unbearable. you’re too weak to make it anywhere, so you try to scream.

you attempts fail, crawling to the bed to grab your phone. you didn’t make it in time. your body gave out on you, blood pouring out from you. you didn’t want to die. you just wanted your sprout. why did this is have to happen?

“y/nnie! i’m home!”

your head jerked up in the direction of the door. you let out a guttural scream. “felix… h-help… please…”

your voice got weaker, not even being able to find the strength to talk. felix rushes to your room, and the world around him stopped. his heart shattered in his chest, immediately calling an ambulance.

“baby… no! stay with me… please. deep breaths okay? you’ll be okay.”

he listened to the dispatcher for instructions on how to help, your eyes slowly fluttering shut. you’re too weak to carry on.

you woke up in the hospital, your baby bump suddenly gone. you touched around your tummy, looking for your little sprout. you noticed felix right next to you, eyes red and incessant tears pouring down his face.

he’s trembling as he grabs your hand, running his thumb over your knuckles. “if i had just gotten there sooner-“

“no felix i… im so sorry. i failed you… i failed our sprout.”, loud sobs filled the room, not being able to contain your emotions anymore. you had lost her for good. she was gone.

“it’s… not your fault. rest now okay? you lost a lot of blood. we can talk in the morning”

he gave you a quick kiss to your forehead, and you shut your eyes. the sleep never came.

you and felix are in bed again, just like you always were. but things were different now. everything felt empty, depressing. you felt empty. you didn’t have your sprout with you.

felix asked to go on hiatus now, wanting to be there for you in every moment. he became hyper-attentive towards you, scared that you might go down a bad path.

the miscarriage took a toll on him just as much as it did you, except you were focusing on the physical parts more. felix watched at night as you stared at your own bare breasts after a shower, producing milk for a baby that wasn’t even growing inside of you anymore. you ran your fingers along your many stretch marks, the skin on your tummy becoming flabby and soft.

you felt ugly. felix was still there to reassure you through everything, but you didn’t know what to do. you blankly stare at your messages from time to time, getting many from your family, close friends and the boys, checking up on you frequently.

felix doesn't know what to do anymore. he doesn't know if he can live with the pain, knowing what could’ve been. it hurts you even more to see felix like this. the sunshine in him has been dulled out, the only thing left are his eyes, swirling with only pain now.

the guiltiness overtook you most nights, felix holding you tight as you both cried again and again. you haven’t slept properly since it happened. seven fucking months.

so close, yet so far.

</3

#skz #skz x reader #stray kids fluff #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #stray kids x reader #stray kids #stray kids angst #skz fanfic #stray kids x y/n #skz angst #lee felix #lee felix x y/n #lee felix angst #lee felix x reader #skz felix #lee felix yongbok #lee felix skz

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sasukimimochi · 1 year

Text

eurghhghgh this gets a little long but i'm not putting a read more line cuz i put TLDR at the bottom and i want that shown.

i'm starting to think uploading weekly is more difficult than i thought now that i'm trying to also work on other things during the week, i haven't had time to work on any of the companion fics for gom or any of my other projects, and i think GOM is suffering a bit for it [last week i did just basic sketches for the chapter bc i was struggling to get everything done in time]

and that means i also don't really have time to stream if i want to draw while you guys watch, since i stream for a few hours at least [the one i did the other day was about six hr, you can see the highlight reel here, since the vod will eventually be deleted as all vods disappear after like 7 days. i just trimmed off the start and end where i'm talking nonsense and saved that as my highlight reel. sorry about the audio being a bit funky for my mic i'll bring my laptop closer to me next time].

But also the biggest thing [on top of wanting to complete more chapters and make a buffer]: i really want to reread the entirety of Ghost of mine so i can check for errors or inconsistencies, all i could do last week was listen to the tts of 12-16 while trying to get a drawing for 17 prepared, and i couldn't fix all the errors i heard since i was just trying to fix the timeline errors as a minimum before posting the chapter. the extra time would give me more time to proofread Ghost of Mine carefully, as well as give the new chapters and art the attention it deserves. [and...actually take care of my irl self better, it's hard to find time for things like cooking and cleaning beyond what i do for the older man i live with].

So what i'm trying to say is although i didn't think i needed it before, i am changing my mind about it now. so i think it's a good idea for me to upload every two weeks instead of one...at least until i (hopefully) am able to catch up to the point of having stuff prepared ahead of schedule.

i swear on my god awful adhd that i will sit down with my sprint bot [a bot that times me and tracks my word count, not an AI], and write with no distractions at least once a day [unless i have things that i am forced to do and can't get to it, but i can get a lot done when i'm using the sprint bot to make myself focus]. So i will hopefully be making the two week change worth it by getting a lot done and being able to return to weekly updates when things are less cramped and there's stuff prepared properly ahead of time.

I hope that's alright with all of you, cuz i love working on gom it's just a lot for me to get done in a week with everything else i want to do!!

just imagine if i had more time i might be able to start posting TWPT along side gom [it's the jiang cheng lan xichen companionfic for GOM that i haven't had time to write as of late, i have it completely outlined but i just don't have time to write it anymore rn. check it out on the masterpost for my MDZS projects]. or the MXY companionfic as well, which i already started but i can't keep working on because of time as well.

basically there's a lot going on for gom besides the main fic that i haven't been able to get to and it just continues to get further behind in those aspects because i can't get the time for it. so really, i need those two weeks and i'm only just now admitting it to myself that i can't push out updates every two days like i used to and especially not now with these other projects and wanting to branch my stuff out more. There's so much i wanna do! lmao

TLDR; i want to change to bi-monthly updates for GOM so that i can increase my quantity and quality of all projects and future updates properly. I appreciate your amazing patience and i hope to make this change worth it!

i will always update you guys if i make changes like this. i can't leave the changes in your hands completely, but i will continue to upload on sunday since that's the day you guys like! expect the next GOM update on the 23rd instead of the 16th, and every two weeks from the 23rd.

#sasu speaks #GOM updates #GOM #Ghost of Mine

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marc-spectorr · 2 years

Note

hi Callie! My tumblr is stuck on a random fic of yours so I’ll have to fix that later but I had question that’s been marinating for a while!!

Although I’m still new to this whole tumblr stuff, I was seeking some advice for newbies who want to start writing? I’ve always been inspired reading yours and other fic writers’ fics!

I’ve written fics in the past but never published them cus I didn’t know any platforms to post them on back then

One day I might post some and become a fic writer like you!!! Gotta build up that courage and knowledge somewhere first though 🤧🤧

love you always, hope you’re taking care of yourself these past few days 😮‍💨

woo!, moonjin xx

hiya moonjin !!!

sorry for taking almost an entire day to respond ;-; but wowoow i’m incredibly honored that you’ve come to me for advice as well as being part of your inspiration to start writing :))

okay, so i went through my previous asks about writing and tagged them as #writing advice. but here are the most important tips that i would say:

plan out your fic– to make the process easier, i would suggest creating an outline! outlining is a great way to visualize the story you’re telling and plan out any research you might need to do. it doesn’t have to be super detailed or anything. you can just put down what exactly you want to happen from start to finish, note any dialogue you might want to add, or describe the scenes you want to include.

no matter how many times the idea has been done before, write that fic! when i first started, i remember not wanting to write a fic solely bc there’s already one out there with a similar plot. but don’t let this discourage you! everyone’s writing is one of a kind, which makes each fic special. for example, the best friends to lovers trope is something that’s been done a million times, but your take on it will be unique as it’s your words and your dialogue.

quality over quantity always– don’t worry too much about how short (or long) your fic is! focus more on how you deliver the story rather than aiming for a specific word count. some writers can produce amazing fics in just under a thousand words. it’s all about the quality of your work, not the length of it. for any first-time writers, i would suggest writing something small to test it out, have a feel for what it’s like and use this to discover your writing style.

proofread your work– this one is obvious, but it’s essential! i know that feeling at the end after typing out the last line of the story. you’re happy that you’ve finally completed it and are excited to post. but don’t forget to read it over once or twice before uploading to make sure your spelling is correct and your grammar is the best that it could be. yes, no one’s perfect. you may not catch every mistake, but you can try fixing most! you can also run it through sites like grammarly to find those errors.

have fun with it– i can’t stress this enough, writing should be fun. remember that you’re allowed to step away and take a break. you can always come back to it once you’re ready! it might seem scary to post in the beginning, but it’s such a rewarding experience when you do. writing takes a lot of time, effort and love, and sharing it with thousands of readers on this platform is an outstanding achievement in itself. so far, this whole community has been lovely and very supportive! i can assure you that they’ll be thrilled for more stories!

hopefully this helps, darling! i can’t wait to read the wonderful fics you have in store for us :) i’m always here if you need any more help!

(also i really love that pic of oscar *swoon*)

#asks #mooonjin #writing advice

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mclarenyaoi · 4 months

Note

Ooo! I have some fursona ideas if you want them! (Feel free to ignore if you don’t)

George is very Gray Heron vibes to me, tall and ~dramatic~. Yuki could be either a Japanese Dormouse or a Japanese Tit. Lewis I think could be a Lesser Kudu (and maybe he got his horns removed and it was a Really Big Deal)

hi anon!!! first of all, congratulations, you're my first ever anon ask on this blog! second of all, that previous thing is pretty much exactly why this is being answered a bit late ^^' i'm terribly sorry about that, i just really wanted to make my answer good!! thank you for giving me these ideas, i love them and i love you, whoever you are <3

this is gonna be a long post so my actual answer to this ask containing all the doodles and commentary will be under the cut. just like last time, all written notes will be transcribed in the alt text since my handwriting isn't particularly legible. apologies in advance for any spelling mistakes or accidental misinformation, i don't have the time or energy to give this post a proper proofread so if anyone finds any errors or needs clarification on anything, please let me know! anyways hope you all find this post enjoyable ^^

first up, grey heron george! i've never drawn a grey heron before, so this was quite fun if a bit complicated

i ended up settling for the mid-length neck in the "final" headshot, but now that i've had more time to think on it, i think i'd choose to draw him with a long neck, tho he'd get some serious cramps after every race. it'd also be funnier as well — herons are, as you said, tall and dramatic... but herons from the front? yeah. blimey indeed.

there's also the matter of how his helmet would fit, esp since you can't exactly go and shave off a man's mouth. i couldn't find a good solution for this; my best idea was that little confused drawing in the corner. it's not a terrific solution by a long shot, but i suppose that's just how it'll be until i (or someone else? this is an open invitation, tho do tag me) come(s) up with a solution

i didn't do a fullbody sketch for grey heron george, but if i did i'd have him stand next to someone for comparison. i guess the question with that is how much his neck would factor into his height since he's plenty tall as is. i did also want to do a dramatic drawing for george, but i was severely struggling to figure out a pose. maybe i'll do one in the future..

next up, yuki. anon, i LOVED these suggestions! i ended up drawing both suggested fursonas bc why not lol. (also, i did assume by "japanese tit" you meant aegithalos caudatus japonicus (called shimaenaga (シマエナガ) in japanese) the white-faced subspecies of the long-tailed bushtit only found in hokkaido, japan) and not parsus minor, since the shimaenaga definitely gives more yuki vibes)

(before i say anything i Just realized 2'58" makes no fucking sense so i need to correct this first — it should be 2'7" ! my bad yall)

i drew yuki as a tit before i drew him as a dormouse so i'll talk abt them in that order

obviously as a creature the shimaenaga is SO very yuki sdkjfh i mean just!! look at ittt!! the definition of borb (bird orb). ngl i was kinda hoping they'd have shrike-like tendencies just bc i love when little cute things kill with brutality, but nope! they're insectivores year-round. shimaenaga are polygynous and lay 7-10 eggs per brood, which is great bc they're vulnerable to cold temperatures and hokkaido has long winters. long-tailed tits typically have facial markings resembling big brows, but this subspecies loses those markings in adulthood, probably to better blend in with the snow. i think i was gonna draw hatchling yuki with big brows at some point, but didn't bc drawing babies is difficult and drawing babies as birds is even more difficult lmao. you might notice that i chose to go the beastars route with anthropomorphic animals and gave bird yuki humanoid limbs and no wings. why did i choose to do this? well. i am not great at drawing bird legs and i didn't feel like drawing them here

the japanese dormouse has an avg length of less than 8cm (3.15in) with a tail of 6cm (2.4in). they're omnivores, with a diet consisting of fruit, nuts, insects, spiders, bird eggs and nestlings, and small rodents—even other dormice, hence my little comment abt cannibalism. again, i like it when little cute things kill with brutality. i think this works better for yuki, who i personally see as being small but mighty, though it's not like it doesn't work to make him a particularly vulnerable animal. rise against the odds and all that

regardless of whichever animal you (widely encompassing) or i choose to draw yuki as, i find yuki as a small prey animal to be v interesting. both the shimaenaga and japanese dormouse are small and agile creatures, and fitting a small animal with yuki's personality is compelling to me (which is not to say i buy into the narrative of yuki being particularly explosive or having anger issues, bc i don't believe in nor stand for that lol). for the purpose of the narrative, i love you small but stubborn animals that can and will bite you!

before i move on please appreciate pierre and yuki in the corner, i am forever and always a citizen of yukierre nation

ok last and anything but least, lewis! i'll admit, anon, i was a bit confused at first why you specifically picked the lesser kudu for lewis, but after seeing a comparison of the greater and lesser kudus.. i get it. lesser kudus look cooler (more markings) and i enjoy that

so, pretty clear timeline here. a headshot of lewis in the present, what lewis would look like with horns (i spent. so long on this. completely on accident bc i wanted the horns to look good and then had to make the rest of it look like it matched asgjfkh), what lewis looked like in ~2007, lewis post-surgery (complete horn removal), and then a sketch of lewis smiling bc i like his smile \(^u^)/

(btw, while you're here, there are only ~100k lesser kudu left in the world due to over-hunting and habitat destruction, so. figure i could stand to add a link to the african wildlife foundation page on kudus, where you can find a donation button in the corner)

anon, what you said abt lewis' horn removal being a really big deal... ough it had me thinkinggg. i think the symbolism in permanently sawing off a part of yourself to fit a mold is sooo intriguing (tho not completely matching w/ lewis' story, i think as a general concept it fucks) and also represents the sacrifices needed to be part of motorsport, particularly from a young age. pecora would need to either cut off or greatly shorten the length of their cranial appendage in order to fit their head in a helmet — technically you could like, cut holes in your helmet, but then if you have a serious crash it'd probably be a near-certain fatality due to the bone and blood and nerves in there, in addition to the obvious danger of having a heavy bone object potentially crushing into your skull. there's only a few species of pecora where having a cranial appendage isn't a sexually dimorphic thing (eg caribou, reindeer, cattle, wildebeest) so having big horns is largely a sign of masculinity, hence why lewis initially kept as much of his horns as he could (there's probably some regulation for how large horns can be before they become a danger)

so with that being said, when lewis removes his horns entirely, it causes some uproar since he's effectively socially emasculating himself on purpose. there's definitely shitty articles written about it left and right, angrily bullshitting about how it's a sign that this is the end of masculine pecora (it's not) or that regulations have gone too far (no one made him do it) or that lewis is a bad role model (nope) or whatever the hell. lewis gives like One statement on it, smth abt how he did it for his own comfort and nothing else, how it doesn't emasculate him (bc it doesn't, anyone can do whatever well-informed decision forever and it can mean fuck all if you want it to mean fuck all, Truly who give a shit), and again more shitty articles quote it. etc etc usual circlejerk of illiterate media "journalism" continues until it dies down once something else happens. idk, smth like that, i didn't go to fucking school for math realistic furry-verse timeline creation

asdkjfh oh my god THANK YOU SO MUCH to anyone who's read this whole thing, please let me know your thoughts and opinions or if i made any errors. anon, i appreciate you immensely, i am so terribly sorry for the rambling but i hope you found this post interesting!

#asks #furmula one #<thats gonna be my tag for this from now on bc i Do plan on doing more w this...#huge shoutout to the literal one other post in this tag. there are about to be three! (going back & adding tag to 1st post)#this is the only time i'll make a post this long ever again yall i. good lord #i would love rqs for this btw u guys dont even understand how thrilled i am #gr63 #yt22 #lh44 #f1 fanart #my art

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och-ako · 5 years

Text

Flames That Don’t Burn

04/02/19

@xmagicxshopx

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, RACHEL! I hope you have an amazing day! I wrote you this little Jungkook fanfic as your gift. I hope you like it! It’s basically a Jungkook/Rachel fic just for you heheh <3

Genre: Fantasy, Romance Word Count: 3,895 Rating: PG-13 Plot: nephilim!jungkook. I blinked, taking a few deep breaths to try to calm my racing heart. “But you … you saved me,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper and he nodded again. “Why? H-How? You … You’re not human, are you?” Content Warning(s): violence and blood and stuff like that

It was always the same: wake up, brush my teeth, fix breakfast and pack lunch, and go to the same job where I sat at the same desk and did the same thing. It was starting to get tedious, to say the least. I was desperate for something—anything—to snap me out off this endless loop because I was starting to feel like a hamster running around in a wheel: no matter how much I ran, I stayed in one place.

Sighing, I tightened the strap of my purse on my shoulder, making my way out of the elevator and into the parking garage, car key in hand. At least when I got home, I could do whatever I wanted. Read, write, anything. And the best part? I could change out of these uncomfortable clothes. The sun was setting, but the day was far from over. There was so much I wanted to get done. If I didn’t fall asleep, that was.

My shoes click-clacked against the ground, echoing throughout the practically empty parking lot.

“Excuse me? Miss?”

I practically jumped out of my skin when I heard the voice so close to my ear. I stepped back, looking at the stranger with wide eyes and tried to calm my now racing heart. I could have sworn I was the only one in this parking lot just now, so where did this strange man come from? He looked innocent enough, though. Scruffy blonde hair and glasses that sat crookedly on the bridge of his nose.

I blinked a few times before I found my words again. “Y-Yes?”

“I was wondering if you could help me. See, my car ran out of gas and I’m kinda stuck. My phone doesn’t have service in this garage, either, so I can’t call anyone. Can I borrow your phone?”

It was a bit of an odd request. Most places had cell phone service these days, but maybe he had a smaller, cheaper network. Judging from his mud-stained jeans, he wasn’t rich like the CEO of the company I worked for. Most people weren’t. And besides, I hated turning people down, especially when they were in need of help. Surely letting him borrow my phone for a couple minutes would be fine.

“Oh, uh, sure,” I said, rummaging through my purse and deciding that I definitely needed to clean it out because there were a few too many loose receipts piling it. I finally found my phone at the bottom of the bag, unlocked it, and handed it to the young man, a smile pulling at the corner of my lips. “Here you go,” I said and he smiled back.

As he reached out to take the phone, however, he grabbed my wrist instead, squeezing it hard and making me yelp. I tried to pull away, but his grip was like stone and, for some reason, his palm was scorching hot. It felt like I was leaning against a seatbelt on a particularly hot day.

“L-Let go of me,” I said, still trying to pull away as the young man’s smile twisted into something much more sinister.

Then something in his face changed and my throat was so dry that I couldn’t even stifle a scream for help. His canines grew an extra inch and the whites of his eyes turned completely black, an abyss of nothing, my terrified reflection staring back at me. His ears grew pointed and a cloud of black smoke appeared around him, circling him like a lioness circled her prey.

My eyes lined with tears as I tried with all my strength to pull away from his iron grip, but the more I struggled, the tighter he held on. Opening his mouth, he let out a menacing laugh that sounded like two different laughs from two different people overlapping each other.

“You can see my true form now,” the young man said, his voice sending a thousand shivers down my spine. “Good. I love it when they sweat with fear. Makes them taste better. Saltier.”

I whimpered, looking down at my wrist. His hand was still wrapped around it, his nails suddenly long and black, the ends digging into my sensitive skin so hard they left little droplets of blood behind. My normally pale skin was turning purple where he touched me and the color seemed to be creeping further up my arm the longer he held on.

“Help!” I managed to yelp, but my voice was so hoarse and barely there that no one in the building could have possibly heard it. The young man—or whatever he was because it certainly wasn’t human—laughed, mocking me.

“Humans are so fun to hunt,” he hissed. “Dumb as shit. I’m tempted to give you a head start so I could chase after you. That would be fun, don’t you think?”

“Wh-Wh-What are you?” I stammered, putting all my weight into trying to free myself from his tight grip, but to no avail.

The thing tilted its head, its snake-like tongue escaping between its teeth and running up the side of my cheek, making me wince.

It hummed as its tongue slipped back into its mouth, its face so close to mine that I could feel its breath on my cheek as it spoke so nonchalantly. “I’m a demon. And pretty human girls are a demon’s favorite snack.”

I hated how weak and vulnerable I felt in this situation. With his grip on me, there was absolutely nothing I could do to defend myself. My purse and my phone were dropped onto the ground long ago and my voice seemed to be betraying me every chance it got. Not to mention my legs, which felt like jelly, so even if I wanted to kick him where the sun didn’t shine, I was stuck like a deer in headlights, completely helpless.

About to die.

I squeezed my eyes shut as those canines inched closer to my neck, bracing myself for the pain. I thought about my family and my friends and all the people I loved. And I thought about how I may never get to talk to any of them again and my chest felt heavy, like my heart was a giant weight sinking all the way down to my feet. A scream bubbled in the back of my throat, but before I could release it, the pressure on my wrist was released and I fell back, stumbling over my own feet and falling hard on my backside. I opened one eye before the other, trying to figure out how in the world I was still alive when I saw the blue flames.

The blue flames danced around a broad, male frame that stood between me and the demon, sword in hand and pointed right at the demon’s throat.

The world around me began to spin out of control. It was so bad that I couldn’t get a good look at my savior’s face when he slit the demon’s throat and turned around to face me, dark black blood oozing out of the demon’s wound and forming a puddle on the floor around it.

The man surrounded by flames had dark hair, his almond-shaped eyes wide and full of concern, but I was so dizzy that I was seeing three of him. Something about those eyes was familiar, like I’d seen them before. Did he work in a cubicle close to mine? Then he opened his mouth and I heard my name, but it was like I was listening to him from underwater.

Rachel. Rachel.

“Jung…” But I didn’t finish the last half of his name because the world around me went black and I fell into nothingness.

~~~~

I woke up to the sound of running water, my right arm feeling as though it were on fire. I hissed as I sat up, my head still spinning. When I was finally seeing only one of everything again, I looked down at my arm and saw that it was bandaged up, little spots of red dotting the otherwise clean bandages in a few places.

“Ah. You’re awake.”

I jumped out of my skin as the sound of the voice, ready to fight if it was that gross thing again, but it wasn’t that thing. No, it was a handsome young man carrying blankets into the room. He had a smile on his face and he looked completely normal … aside from the fact that he was surrounded by small blue flames.

They weren’t as strong as they were in the parking garage, but they were still there, clear as day. And he was acting like he was totally fine, as if fire that hot wasn’t burning him at all.

He placed the blankets down on the edge of the bed and sat next to them, turning his attention to me and that was when I recognized him. Jeon Jungkook. He worked in the same building I did. I didn’t talk to him much, other than the occasional good mornings and nods in the kitchen area. I knew his name and he knew mine, but that was as far as our relationship went. I always noticed him, though. He was handsome and when he smiled, it lit up his entire face to the point where him just accidentally brushing against my arm caused butterflies to erupt deep in my tummy. There was a part of me that daydreamed about him, wondering what it would be like to hold his hand or to feel those long fingers brush through my hair. Just thinking about it again now made my face turn thirty shades of red and I moved back against the headboard.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, his voice dripping with kindness. Did he not see the blue flames resting on his shoulders? Or the ones resting on top of his knuckles?

“I … uh …” I stammered, clearing my throat. “I’m … just kind of sore,” I admitted. “Though, uh … I’m also a bit thirsty.” In fact, my mouth felt like a desert, completely full of sand and a bad taste. Would it be rude to ask for an altoid or something?

“Ah, I have some water for you,” Jungkook said, getting up from the bed and walking over to the sink, which was where the sound of running water was coming from. He filled a glass and turned off the tap, slowly walking to the bed and handing me the glass. I gladly took it with my good hand and downed it in a matter of seconds, immediately feeling ten times better than before.

Jungkook took the empty glass from me and placed it on the bedside table, his lips pressed together. “Rachel, I…” He started the sentence, but he didn’t finish it, instead sighing and running his fingers through his hair, making it stand up in three different directions.

Honestly, I was kind of surprised he knew my name.

“What’s going on?” I asked, finding it much easier to speak now that my mouth was no longer full of sand. “And what are these … things flying around the room?” I swatted at a small, fly-like creature. It didn’t sound like a fly, though. No, it didn’t buzz like flies did; it hummed, kind of like it was singing a song.

“They’re nano-demons.”

“Nano-who?”

“Demons,” he repeated, speaking slower this time.

It was weird to think about: demons being real. I’d heard stories and other folklore about them and saw them portrayed on fantasy TV shows, but they weren’t real. Then again, if demons weren’t real, what was that thing that attacked me in the parking garage? And what were all these things that were suddenly flying around me, trying to attach themselves to me like leeches? And why was Jean Jungkook surrounded by blue flames? What the hell was going on?!

“When that demon in the parking garage cut your skin with his nails, he tainted you,” Jungkook explained, going back to his spot at the end of the bed and sitting down, the mattress bouncing with his added weight. “When a human receives a taint from a demon, they are suddenly able to see creatures of the underworld. Like nano-demons,” he said, pointing to one of the small, black, humming creatures as it swished around the room. “But it also means you can see past a demon’s glamour and see its true form.”

The more he spoke, the worse my headache got because it seemed like the more he explained, the less everything made sense. “Wait, I … What?” I let out a shaky breath, pulling my knees to my chest. “You’re telling me that not only do demons exist, but they roam earth hiding behind glamours that make them look human? And I was attacked and tainted by one?”

Jungkook nodded slowly, a sort of sadness in his eyes that made my chest ache. “Not many humans are tainted because most humans who are scratched or cut by a demon don’t live to tell the tale.”

I blinked, taking a few deep breaths to try to calm my racing heart. “But you … you saved me,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper and he nodded again. “Why? H-How? You … You’re not human, are you?”

Jungkook closed his eyes for a long moment and the silence that fell between us was so heavy it could be cut with a knife. It felt like a lifetime before he opened his mouth and spoke, his voice low and calming, echoing throughout the dimly lit bedroom I was currently sitting in. “You can see the flames now.” It wasn’t a question. When I nodded, he spoke again, “I’m what’s called a Nephilim.”

“Nephilim?”

“Yeah. It means I’m half human and half angel.”

My eyes widened. Of course! If demons existed, then angels must have, too! It was almost kind of exciting, mostly because all I knew about angels was that they were beings of light. The only one who wasn’t was the banished arc angel Lucifer.

“Angels are … surrounded by flames?” I asked.

Jungkook let out a breath through his nose, nervously pulling at his fingers. “No. That’s unique to me.” Before I could ask him another question, he said, “Blue flames are the symbol of Satan.”

My jaw dropped.

“My mother was human, but she bore an arc angel’s child. The blue flames are proof that I am Lucifer’s son.”

My head began to spin. It was all happening so fast. One second Jungkook was a kind coworker from my office who wasn’t too bad on the eyes and the next second he was the son of Lucifer?! This didn’t make any sense and, for a moment, I was sure I was going to pass out again.

“I heard you call for help,” he said when I obviously wasn’t going to say anything. My thoughts were too jumbled and the right words just wouldn’t come to the surface. “That demon that attacked you … it came looking for me. They always come looking for me, trying to take me back to the Underworld, back to my father. Usually I can track them down and fight them off before they cause too much trouble, but he must have caught a whiff of your scent first and couldn’t resist. I … I’m so sorry, Rachel!” he exclaimed, bowing his head. “You got hurt and tainted because of me. I’m so, so sorry.”

I blinked, staring at him with wide eyes.e was apologizing to me, fists trembling and everything? He was still so kind, even now. So it was never an act to hide his demonic self. He was truly a nice guy.

“Jungkook,” I said and he lifted his head, lip quivering. “I admit I’m … scared. Terrified, actually. But if you hadn’t saved me, I would be dead.” I slowly inched my hand forward, grabbing his fingers and giving them a soft squeeze. His eyes never left my face and I offered him the best smile I could muster in this kind of situation. “Thank you. For saving my life.”

His face twisted into something I couldn’t quite recognize. I was about to ask him if he was okay when he threw his arms around me and pulled me close, hugging me tightly, his neck buried in the crook of my neck.

My eyes widened, my heart jumping into my throat. For a second, I was so paralyzed with shock that I didn’t do anything. He was hugging me. Jungkook was hugging me and … were his shoulders shaking?

"I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I didn’t want anyone to get hurt because of me,” he said, tightening his grip around my neck and apologizing again.

With shaking hands, I hugged him around his middle and hugged him back, my nose pressing into his shoulder. I noticed then that not only did the blue flames not burn, but he also smelled like firewood. His grip around me tightened and I found myself on my knees, moving closer to him.

“I’m grateful to be alive,” I whispered, reaching up with one hand and gently tangling my fingers in the bottom stands of his hair. It was soft. “And it’s because of you that I’m alive, so I’m grateful to you, Jungkook.”

Jungkook pulled back from the hug, but only a little, pressing his forehead against mine, his brown eyes scanning my face, taking in every detail he could. “You were always so nice. In the office. You smiled at me everyday. The last thing I wanted was for you to get hurt because of me. And I’m sure more demons will try to track me down again and now you’re caught up in the middle of this whole thing and—”

I hushed him when he didn’t seem to be able to stop rambling, offering him a smile to silently tell him that everything was okay. “Seeing these nano-demons and the flames on your body will take some getting used to, but you were always nice to me as well, so if I can do anything to stop these demons from coming after you, I’ll gladly do it.”

I could tell that, deep down, Jungkook didn’t want to be what he was. And even if he was the son of Lucifer, he didn’t seem horrible or evil in any way. In fact, he seemed like the complete opposite: caring, sensitive, wonderful.

Something in Jungkook’s face twisted and, for a moment, I thought he was going to cry, but he didn’t, blinking any possible tears away. “I promise to protect you,” he said. “I got you in the mess, so I’ll make sure you’re safe.”

I put my hand on his cheek, my thumb gently caressing his skin. “I’ll protect you, too, okay? I know I probably can’t do much being just a human and all, but—”

I couldn’t finish my sentence because he cut me off with his own lips, hands cupping my cheeks and I was sure my heart was going to explode right through my ribcage. The kiss is quick, so much so that I didn’t even get a chance to kiss him back by the time he pulled away, licking his lips and looking down at his lap, his ears a bright shade of red.

“Sorry, I … I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Why not?”

Jungkook looked up from his lap, his eyes meeting mine and the second they did, my heart fluttered, heat rising to my cheeks. Sure, I may have had a little crush on him before, but this … this feeling was something different. Then he shrugged, scratching the back of his neck as he looked at the wall behind me. “Forcing a kiss on you, it … I don’t want to be rude and I’m sorry. It’s just that when you told me you would protect me, too, my chest felt all warm and all I wanted to do was kiss you.”

If I thought my face was red before, it was even worse now.

“I … don’t mind if you kiss me,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper. When he met my eyes again, I sunk deep into my shoulders, feeling embarrassed. “And I meant it when I said I want to protect you. I can do it because I can see demons now that I’ve been tainted. You’ve always been so nice to me and everyone around you. I know you’re nothing like Lucifer.”

Jungkook was looking at me like I’d just sprouted a second head.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” I asked.

“It’s just … no one’s ever said that kind of thing to me,” he said. “I’ve always hurt everyone around me, whether I wanted to or not. I’ve always told myself that I can never get close to anybody because I would just end up hurting them or killing them. But you, Rachel … there was always something special about you. You have such a kind smile and a kind heart and I-I know this is selfish of me to ask, but I really want you to stay by my side.”

Without saying anything, I reached out and grabbed his hand, lacing my fingers with his, my thumb caressing the back of his hand. “I’m not going to run away,” I promised.

Jungkook smiled then—a real smile—and it was like the room lit up and became ten times lighter. Who knew a simple smile could be so powerful? He scooted closer to me until his knees touched mine, not letting go of my hand. He pressed his forehead to mine and closed his eyes, a content look on his face as he let out a breath through his nose.

“Never give up on me.” It was more of a request than a statement and when I nodded, he leaned forward and softly pressed his lips to mine. This time, I was able to kiss him back, our lips moving together in a soft, perfect harmony.

I smiled against his lips and he smiled against mine and suddenly we were a mess of giggles, foreheads still touching and both of our hearts feeling full. It didn’t matter what Jungkook was. It didn’t matter that I was tainted. Nothing mattered to me except protecting that smile of his. No matter what came for him, I would make sure nothing wiped that beautiful smile from his face.

In a short amount of time, that smile became extremely precious to me. My life flipped completely upside down and suddenly I wasn’t so alone in this world anymore. I had someone by my side who was willing to protect me as much as I was willing to protect him. It was an amazing feeling, to say the least.

I pecked his lips again.

“You know,” I started, unable to wipe the smile from my face, “I think you should teach me how to use a sword like yours. A blade can protect you easier than my fists.”

“We can start your training tomorrow. For now, let’s just enjoy each other as much as we can. I want to know all about you and I’ll tell you anything you want to know about me. How does that sound?”

“Absolutely perfect.”

#<3 #i hope you like it and i hope you have an amazing rest of your birthday because you deserve it!#i'll gladly write more for you if you want!#since i ended on a cliffhanger lolol i'm just used to writing longer things okay all my short stories end like they need to be continued :)#also sorry for any errors bc it's not proofread #please enjoy it! :)

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