#also thank you for this prompt because i love s9 dean SO MUCH and these were sooooooo fun to make!!!!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

topofmythighs · 2 years

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Hey love! That tiktok kiss prompt is too cute. Can I request the hello kiss with s9 Dean, she/her pronouns? Thanks so much! X

thank you for sending a request my way!

prompt list to request from is here

the troubles of lovin’

dean winchester x fem!reader

rundown: the mark of cain fucks dean up, reader is desperate to feel like her dean is back because the one she’s holding onto isn’t the one she promised forever to

warning: canon level gore, maybe angst?, fluff

word count: 1,542

important notes: fuck the darkness, fuck that whole plot line, i hate her no matter what. so yeah, i skip over some Pretty Important Plot Stuff but that is simply not my domain! we jazz it up around here, baby! also, EW petnames, amiright? winnie for "winchester" and tiggs for tigger because winnie the pooh is cute ok moving on enjoy

my masterlist

loving dean with the mark of cain is a borderline impossible feat.

when you first started dating, you agreed to stay with him on the promise that if he ever killed people, you would leave. you didn’t want anything to do with being a hunter, but your love for dean was too strong, making you incapable of staying away from him.

and dean never enjoyed killing people. monsters, sure, but never people. but dean with the mark isn’t your dean. it squeezes your lungs and rips apart your heart to know that you’re in love with a killer, a demon - dean, but not dean.

sam has been as supportive as he can be for you as you figure everything out with dean, and you try to reciprocate it, but it’s exhausting. everything is mentally and physically and emotionally exhausting, and it takes everything in you not to run away from the bunker and never look back for the winchesters.

but you know deep down that your dean is still there. he’s feeling guilty, he’s feeling angry, he’s feeling remorseful, and this is the assumption that makes you stick around.

when sam and dean arrive back from a hunt, their clothes are blood stained and eyes heavy.

“what happened?” you ask, getting up promptly from the library table.

“hi,” sam says, exasperated. he shrugs his coat off and allows his duffle bag fall to the floor, wrapping you in a tight hug. you hug back confused but grateful for the contact, seeing dean slip into the hallway without a word.

“what happened, sammy?” you ask quietly, pulling back to look into his eyes. they’re shiny, tears threatening to spill over.

“dean’s not okay,” he whispers, lip quivering. “there were so many people, dead.”

when you usher sam to the library table, he begins to tell you about it all. claire’s abduction by some randy guy who tries to use her to pay off his debt, sam, cass, and dean saving her, then dean mercilessly slaying bodies - human bodies - without a hint of remorse afterwards.

sam begs you, holding his hands in yours, to convince dean to get rid of the mark, even to give it to sam himself. you shake your head to this.

sam's eyes are glossy and red, and his face is illuminated by the lights around the library. "please, fix my brother."

you squeeze his hands one last time and kiss the top of his head. "lemme make you a tea, then get some rest, sammy. we'll figure this out."

you make two mugs of camomile tea, one black for dean, and one with a hint of almond milk for sam. you bring sam's tea to his room and place it on his nightstand for him to have after his shower, and you bring dean's tea to him in his room.

even though you and dean had been together for so many years, he insisted that you have your own room in the bunker.

"you need your, y'know, girl space," dean commented, putting boxes of your things into a separate room.

you scoffed, "oh please. that's just your excuse to decorate your room with guns and deer heads."

he winked at you, "you're smart, sweetheart."

you yearned for your dean to come back. your hands were shakey, but you knocked on his bedroom door.

"yeah?" his voice gruff and raspy.

"hi winnie," you said as sweet as possible. "i brought you a tea."

he turns his head to look at you standing in the doorway, the distance between you two eliciting a small pull on his heart.

you notice his stiff and poor posture as he sits on his brown duvet-ed bed. his hair has clearly been ruffled by his hands.

he smiles small at you. "thanks, tiggs."

you shrug with a tiny smirk, making your way over to him, setting his tea on his wooden nightstand as you did for sam, and sitting next to him. "is this okay?"

he nods, and you rest your head on his left shoulder. it was hard to love dean with the mark because of his actions, but it was harder to stop loving him because the outside was still your dean. his shoulder was still hard but warm, his chest still rose and fell at a calming pace, and he still smelled like musk, campfires, and vanilla cigars.

"sammy tell you about today?" he asks, voice still gritty.

you nod against his shoulder and gently take his hand from his thigh. "yeah, he did, winnie."

"i'm so sorry, tiggs," dean says, and you swear you can hear some kind of underlying guilt. he squeezes your hand tight.

"i know, dean. i don't want to say it's okay, but i'm not angry with you," you whisper. you fear that the conversation will evoke emotions that are too strong for you to handle, so you suggest he tries his tea before it gets too cold. he nods to this and drinks his tea, making a comment about how the heat of it almost makes him feel normal again.

"promise me something," you begin, moving your head to try and gain his attention from his peripheral vision. he looks at you, green eyes dull and full of ache. "when this shit is over, as soon as it's over, we get rid of that fucking thing. i don't care who you give it to, i want my dean back."

his pulls you into his chest, silently agreeing. he knows that he doesn't have the right words or the courage to promise you something like that verbally, so he opts for comforting you in any way he can.

before it gets better, it gets worse. dean is murdered, brought back to life, but not human life - demon life. rowena double-crosses the winchesters, and everything is shit. but with some negotiation, time, and begging, the witch removes the mark from dean.

it's a frigid october evening when rowena removes the mark. you had fallen asleep in dean's bed, the memory foam squeezing into your sides and creating just the right amount of tension to feel like you were being held. you were dressed in just underwear and a flannel of dean's that you took from his laundry bin a few days ago. you felt chills roam your body, wishing dean was with you. sleeping had been hard recently, and nightmares have wracked your brain, so when you heard a shrill scream, you just thought it was a dream. a rough call of your name from sam woke you up, and you twisted out of the memory foam cave as fast as possible, pulling your jeans over your legs as you run out of the bedroom to the library.

"what is happening?!" you yell, seeing an eery white light loom from dean's arm, a satisfied looking rowena, and an emotional sam.

"you're welcome, darling," the witch comments, eliciting an even more confused look from you.

"rowena, uh," sam starts, sniffling. "she, uh, the mark. it's gone."

your head whips around to dean, who looks to be in pain, but you run over to him quickly and wrap your arms around his neck. "my winnie," you whisper, tears falling.

"hi baby," he whispers back, wrapping his arms around you. you hear rowena guide sam to the kitchen, and then it's just you and dean. he stands up, stilling holding you, and squeezes harder when he feels your tears making his shirt wet. "tiggs, c'mon, it's okay now."

after what felt like forever apart, it was you and your dean again. you felt your heart swell, knowing that everything was finally okay. "please kiss me," you say, looking up at dean with doe eyes.

he smiles at you, cupping your neck with his palms, fingers pressing into your cheeks. he kisses you deeply, enjoying the first kiss the two of you have shared in a while. his lips are rough against yours, but it's nothing to complain about. you're just glad you get to tangle yourself around him, scents mixing together and bodies warm.

dean’s large hands grab at your hips, lifting you off the ground, letting you wrap your legs around him. your grip on him is still tight as you kiss, one arm wrapped around his shoulder and your other hand cupping his face. this felt like your first kiss all over again, and your heart feels like it’s finally healing.

when you pull away to look into his eyes, dean smiles at you, hugging you tight and spinning you around while kissing your head. you giggle loud and tell him to cut it out, and he laughs before he kisses you again.

“got my girl back,” he says when he pulls back. “missed you so much.”

“missed you more than anything, dean. i’m so glad you’re okay.”

you and dean spend the rest of the night in his room cuddled up together on his comfy bed. you’re watching one of the middle harry potter movies, but focusing more on holding each other. you’re nervous dean will slip out of your fingers, so you sleep with his shirt balled up in your hands and on top of him.

loving dean without the mark of cain was a borderline inherit trait.

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