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cleverclove · 1 year

Note

thanks for posting about hamlet ur the only way i actually understand that blasted book for my english class 🫵🗿🫶

OH HOLY SHIT YOU’RE WELCOME…it’s super fun once you get into it :> but uh here’s an actual rundown if you need it :] (except it’s told in incomprehensible modern day language)

King of Denmark? Dead. He’s king of DEADMARK now hehe

His ghost comes back and haunts the fuck out of Hamlet’s homies

Hamlet’s homies, seeing as said ghost looks exactly like the dead king, decide to tell their emo homie, Hamlet

Hamlet has recently returned from a weeks-long voyage from college back home to Denmark to mourn his dad (F to pay respects)

This bitch is EMO AS HELL (i mean his dad DID just pass so….)

(Btw Denmark is at risk of war with Norway but oddly enough it’s not as big a plot point as you might think???)

Except OOPS! Apparently his mom married his uncle. Wtf mom???

Said uncle is kind of a dick and Hamlet basically sticks his middle finger up at him the whole entire play

Hamlet’s homies, led by his college fuckbuddy, Horatio, come over to tell him about this ghost

King of Deadmark tells him that that motherfucking (literally) uncle of his is behind it

Hamlet swears revenge but debates whether to believe this ghost or not (bc duh, it’s a ghost. Not exactly the most trustworthy source.)

Oh he also has this ex, Ophelia

She’s a cinnamon roll (and the only one in the play)

He’s mad bc she broke off their relationship (bc her father tells her she’s not his type…..royalty back then was only allowed to marry other royalty -_-)

So there’s this whole subplot about their breakup going about as well as you’d expect a Shakespearean tragedy to go

(Or: Hamlet commits borderline domestic abuse)

Yeah he’s kind of a shitty boyfriend (ex now)

Blah blah blah blah shenanigans happen

Hamlet intends to kill Claudius the Dickhead Uncle, who he believes is behind a tapestry in mom’s room

So after a fight with his mom he stabs the tapestry with a man behind it

Except OOPS it’s his ex’s dad

Anyway at this point Dickhead Uncle is like “okay you’re done” because damn this is a PR NIGHTMARE

So he sends Hamlet off to hang out in England for a bit

(And by hang I mean get hung. As in executed <3)

Along the way he gets kidnapped by pirates (?????)

Idk either

He sees the letter condemning him to death

He crosses his name out and puts his FRIENDS who he’s traveling with to death instead

Yeah he’s kind of a shitty friend too

Back to Denmark! Ophelia, obviously unable to live without a man (this IS Shakespeare after all), goes insane at the loss of her dad and bf

She ends up swimming with the fishes (bc she drowns herself. Pure innocent cinnamon roll too good for this world fr.)

Hamlet returns and FUCK.

His ex (who he’s still in love with) killed herself because of him D:

Her brother, obviously pretty distraught at losing his sister AND dad within the span of a few days because of Hamlet, is pretty pissed off at him understandably

He challenges Hamlet to a “friendly *wink* duel”

Clown on clown violence because the poisoned sword Laertes the brother uses hits both of them

Hamlet poisons the king after his mom accidentally drinks the poisoned wine that Claudius planned to give HAMLET to kill him

So yeah. Three people are dead now, and Hamlet isn’t gonna live much longer.

His fuckbuddy from earlier, Horatio, is absolutely DEVASTATED dude

Being the loyal bff he is, he tries to kill himself too to join Hamlet in death

(Kinda gay if you ask me but whatever)

Hamlet dies in Horatio’s arms

(Again, pretty gay but what do I know :P)

Horatio lives and vows to tells Hamlet’s story as the Norwegians storm the castle and take over Denmark.

#ask #miles! <3 #dude this is so long im so sorry #long post #hamlet explained badly

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bangteen · 4 years

Note

Hello 😊😊 So, I’ve been wanting to read something with Taehyun (my utt) and I thought of something like, we are bff but he likes me and accidentally send the reader a message that was suppose to be for other member, talking about how he likes the reader or something like this, and the he have to confess but for his surprise the felling was mutual or something like this, I don’t know if u understood but I would really like it if you please write it ❤️❤️Thank you ❤️❤️

a/n: oooh yay a Taehyun stan!! Hello!! This was such a cute idea!! I don’t do real text aus, but I still hope you enjoy!! Thank you so much for requesting!! 💞

Also,, this is quite different than what I’m used to, and this isn’t really how I picture Taehyun would text but here we go anyway! This was honestly low key inspired by @wooyukh ’s works, so lots of credit goes to her!! Everyone go follow her!! She is literally the sweetest person ever and her text aus DONT DISAPPOINT.

Message Sent | Kang Taehyun

⇥ Summary: bestfriend!Taehyun accidentally texts something he meant to send to another member, to his best friend and crush, Y/N.

⇥ Genre: fluff

⇥ Word count: 550

﹋﹋﹋﹋﹋

Taehyun: So I’ve been thinking

You: And what is it that you’ve been thinking about Taehyun?

Taehyun: I’ve realized I’ve been putting it off for too long and

Taehyun: I have decided

Taehyun: Today will be the day

You: ??

Taehyun: You know

Taehyun: Y/N...

You: Yes?

Taehyun: And me?

You: What about me?

Taehyun: No not you. Me.

Taehyun: and Y/N

You: What?

Taehyun: What do you mean “what”? You know what I’m talking about!

Taehyun: You know, the thing you told me to have the courage to do

Taehyun: Is it starting to ring a bell at all or..?

You: What did I tell you to have the courage to do?

Taehyun: Ok stop messing with me

Taehyun: Seriously

Taehyun: I’m not falling for your stupid tricks anymore

Taehyun: Come on, hurry up. You’re wasting my time

You: Taehyun

You: I don’t know what you’re talking about, but don’t talk to me like that

You: Please

Taehyun: Ok fine! If you really don’t remember then I’ll explain it to you!

Taehyun: Hyung, you even helped me with this. You told me to just be brave and confident and just confess to Y/N already because apparently she oBvIoUsLy LiKeS mE

You: What

You: You like me?

Taehyun: I JUST REALIZED I SENT THIS TO THE WRONG PERSON EHEHEH SORRY JUST IGNORE EVERYBTING I JUST SAID IM SO SORRY

Taehyun: HAHAH YEHA THIS WASNT SUPPOSDD TO HAPPENN

You: Taehyun

You: Taehyun?

You: Hello?

You: Taehyun are you there?

You: TAEHYUN

You: TAEHYUN PLS

You: PLEASE ANSWER ME

You: I need to tell you something :((

Taehyun: Sorry sorry srry I was busy panicking for a sec

Taehyun: Yes?

You: So you like me?

Taehyun: AHHHH DONT MENTION IT IM ASHAMED

You: But Taehyun

Taehyun: What? I’m sorryyyy

Taehyun: I ruined our friendship didn’t I

You: Taehyun, I like you too

Taehyun: I said I’m sorry

Taehyun: Wait

Taehyun: What?

Taehyun: WHAT

Taehyun: WHATTT

Taehyun: SKDJDKDJ WHAT

Taehyun: Wait

Taehyun: Is this really Y/N or is someone else texting me through Y/N’s phone??

Taehyun: Kai, I swear

You: Tae, it’s me

You: It’s Y/N and I like you

Taehyun: SKJDKS YIU JUST SAID IT AGAIN

You: hehe you’re cute

Taehyun: WHAT NO DONT SAY THAT MY HEART IS NOT READY FOR THSI

You: But you’re cute

Taehyun: SKDJSJDJ YOURE CUTER

You: Aww baby :(

Taehyun: DKDJSJ WHAT

Taehyun: I’m

Taehyun: I’m your

Taehyun: Baby? :(

You: Yes you’re my baby and I am your baby

Taehyun: Baby?

You: Yes?

Taehyun: KSDJJS YOU REALLY ARE MY BABY NOW SKDJJDJ

You: You’re so adorable :((

Taehyun: NO STOP MY HEART HAS NEVER DONE THIS KIND OF THING BEFORE

Taehyun: STOP

Taehyun: I wanna experience this in real life when I’m actually with you, talking to you

You: Ok.

You: Wanna

You: Maybe

You: Come over?

Taehyun: Skdjjs is that even a question!?!!!

Taehyun: I’m already on my way

You: Come faster

You: I already miss you :((((

Taehyun: NO DONT BE SAD IM COMING

You: I’m cold and I need your cuddles :(((

Taehyun: NO PLS DONT BE SAD IM COMING AND I WILL CUDDLE YOU RIGHT WHEN I GET THERE

You: The more you text, the longer it’ll take you to actually get here

You: Come quickkkk

Taehyun: Open the door baby. I want cuddles

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darkmindsthinktwistedthoughts · 5 years

Text

False Protection

Warning: a little angst fluff from a certain Dummy.

Masterlist

---

False Protection

“You complete and total blockhead Yuki!” The bed chamber’s door slid back so fast he felt the room tremble and thought the wall might fall down. His usually smiling wife was red-faced furious and looking at him like a wild animal.

“Blockhead! Blockhead! Blockhead! Hehe!” Bouncing around her ankles was their daughter happily chanting her mother’s insult.

“Hey! I’m the only one that gets to call your father that. You just call him Daddy.” Her tone had softened as she spoke to their child it felt strange to see the shift given how angry she had been seconds before.

Yukimura sat bewildered on the futon. His armour was carefully assembled on its stand in the room again but he suddenly wanted to don it for whatever protection it might give against his Princess on a rampage.

“Hey calm down!”

“Calm – Calm down? How can you tell me to do that?” He saw many things during battle. Many things he couldn’t unsee and things he also hated, still it hurt every time. But nothing compared to seeing his wife lose her smile and her eyes swimming with unshed tears. She turned again to their child and continued talking to her “Sweetheart can you go find Uncle Sasuke and play with him for a bit please?”

“But I wanna see Daddy!” The little girl pouted and crossed her arms across her chest in the most adorable way.

“I know but right now grown-ups need to talk first you can see Daddy in a little bit ok?” Aerion bent down and stroked the little girl’s hair.

“Promise?” The child turned her big blue eyes up at her mother.

“Promise.”

Apparently happy with this the child turned around and began to scamper down the corridor outside calling for Sasuke. Yukimura might have laughed at that had he not already fallen victim once more to his wife’s glare that had him pinned in place.

“What do you think you were doing?” Aerion asked as soon as their child was out of earshot.

“It was a battle. You know what I was doing.” Yukimura attempted to shrug only to be reminded of the tight bandages binding his torso and the pain from trying to move the torn muscle structure of his body.

“I would have excepted something like this from Masa but not from my own husband.” Aerion grumbled pinching the bridge of her nose with her eyes scrunched shut. It was bad enough that he knew he had indirectly hurt her but to have her bring up another guy at this time was almost beyond the limit for him too.

“Could you not bring up your ‘brother’ right now? And I told you I’m fine. I’m still here aren’t I?” His words came out harsher than he intended and instantly regretted it when she opened her eyes and he could see they were wetter than before.

“In how many pieces?” Her voice was forced control. She was managing to keep the trembling out of it allowing it to stay even. “I would never tell you not to fight. I don’t tell you what to do any more than you would tell me. But please dear you have to try to at least think of it from my point of view when you get home.”

“Stop being a dummy you worry too much. I’ve had far worse injuries over the years and I’m fine.” Yukimura had shifted into his defiant offensive state if for no other reason than he felt like his wife was overreacting.

“Would you like to see me injured?” Aerion asked the question quietly as she turned her head to his armour. Her eyes raked over it taking in every piece of damage and bloodstain.

“WHAT!? OF COURSE NOT! What a stupid question. I fight so I can protect you why the hell would I want to see you hurt?” He raised his voice completely unable to control the panic in it.

“Then why is it so hard to understand that I DON’T like to see YOU hurt either? When are you going to get it into that thick head of yours that when you hurt I hurt too?” Aerion spat out those words without even looking at him and spun around on the spot slamming the sliding door shut behind her as she left.

“Mummy, Mummy!” The little girl ran up to her mother her pink hakama sporting a couple of stains that resembled grass and mud. “Sasuke was showing me how to avoid kunai!”

“Was he now? Well don’t let your father know that or he’ll hit the roof.” Aerion chuckled as she looked at the little girl’s beaming smile.

“I pride myself on my training and skill to know at no point did what I was doing mean that the little Princess was ever in danger.” Sasuke appeared out of nothingness at their side bringing with him a feeling of secure calm like a soft breeze.

“As expected from the best Ninja I know.” Aerion smiled at her friend ignoring the slight blush he had on his face for a few seconds.

“Mummy, can I go get some cake now?” Her daughter asked pulling on the hem of her kimono.

“You haven’t had dinner yet.” Attempting to give a show of resistance to the idea Aerion quickly changed tactic and bent down to whisper in the child’s ear. “Fine but don’t tell Daddy.”

“YAY!”

Taking off running at full speed Aerion watched and laughed noting that her daughter once more was barefoot and the dirt on the hakama was nothing to the mud under it.

“You don’t look any less stressed than before.” Sasuke watched the little Princess run away as well a smile on his face.

“Sometimes it’s hard to tell if you are naturally this observant or if it’s something you picked up in training.” Aerion sighed and plonked down on the grass, drawing her knees up to her chin.

“A little of both.” Sasuke said as he joined her. Sitting a respectable distance away whilst still being close enough that he could speak to her without shouting. “Let me guess he didn’t exactly open up when you spoke to him and probably said something that made it all worse.”

“You know him too well. I wouldn’t exactly say he said something that made it worse I mean he was just Yuki being Yuki.” Aerion shrugged.

“Are you alright?”

“Shouldn’t you be asking you BFF that?” Aerion looked over her shoulder at him her hair falling loose from her head. It never stayed put in any style it was something he loved about her. It summed her up in a simple way. A force that was not easy to control.

“I am. You are both my BFFs. Besides Yukimura tends to look after himself in these situations if he wants me he calls. You Aerion tend to brood and not say anything.” Sasuke announced his observation flatly and adjusted his glasses in an effort to distract his mind from venturing down a path he had long since given up on following.

“Are you trying to pick a fight?” Aerion laughed swatting his shoulder lightly.

“Not at all. I was pointing out that my two BFF’s are a perfect pair. I actually admire your tenacity and strength to continue with it.” At his words, her eyes widened before turning away from him and focusing their gaze on something far away.

“That’s a nice way of calling me stubborn and stupid. Thanks, Sasuke.”

“Whatever for?”

“Just being here.” She lowered her chin onto her knees and fell silent again.

“I’ll always be here for you Aerion.”

Paperwork felt like it was recreating itself faster than he could finish it. It had been a week since the last battle and a few days since his wife had yelled at him in their room. She had not returned once she left which allowed his own head to stew and mull over what had been said.

All he had ever wanted to do was keep her safe and protect her. He wanted to be strong enough to do that and when they had their child to those feelings only intensified. How did it come to this?

-Sigh-

Rubbing his shoulder with one hand he let his brush drop on the desk. Little flecks of ink splattered from its bristles as it rolled. He was tired and sore and the one thing he needed…. Wanted… was avoiding him for the time being.

“That was a big sigh”

“Ah! Oh, for hell’s sake Sasuke don’t make me jump like that it hurts!” Yukimura whipped around on his cushion and glared at his friend.

“Sorry.”

“Something tells me you’re not really being sincere.” Yukimura huffed retrieving his brush and placing it by the inkstone.

“You got me.” Sasuke came closer and took a seat looking at the papers on the desk momentarily before continuing. “Yukimura you are one of the most straight forward, determined and historically amazing people I know.”

“… thanks I guess.”

“But you are also not very honest with your own feelings. Easily embarrassed and blunter than a ladle.”

“Hey!” Sasuke’s rare show of uncandid fault-finding had caused him to shout.

“Can you deny that?”

“This is about Aerion isn’t it? Did she send you here?” Ignoring the rest of his papers for the time being Yuki huffed like his daughter and once more took on a defensive attitude.

“No, she didn’t. She wouldn’t. I am here because whilst I am aware that you two will make up sooner or later there is another factor that cannot be allowed to be affected anymore by this state of affairs.”

“There you go talking in riddles again.” In all the years he had known Sasuke he knew enough to know that the guy meant well even if there were times when he made no sense with what he was saying. It wasn’t his fault but Yukimura had wondered what village would teach someone to talk like he did.

“I’m talking about your daughter. Aerion knows that she is to coin a modern term a ‘Daddy’s girl’ and has done everything she can to shield the child from realising you are not only injured but have been away from home for work for a while.” What Sasuke was saying was nothing but the truth. Yuki knew that and it was also why it was so hard to argue against it. This was wrong he knew that too but it was difficult to move forward and correct things when you were facing someone who could be just as stubborn and bull-headed on a topic as you could.

“She doesn’t have to do that.”

“Oh? And how much do you think a child can comprehend of a grown-up’s misfortune?” Sasuke asked the question before he could stop himself. He knew from watching Yuki that he had been brooding just as must as his wife. Things had been said and both were hurt. “I’m not asking you to do much Yukimura but I cannot take seeing my only two BFF’s in this world silently fighting. It is only a matter of time before your daughter figures it out as well.” Sasuke decided to leave before saying anything else on the topic. He trusted his friend to know when to make the first move and find his wife. But there were times when he needed that little shove of a reminder to make the move sooner rather than later.

It was much later than dinner when he managed to make it back to their room. The lanterns had been lit by the maids but he knew there was a good chance it would be empty on his return.

He had never been good with emotional women. There was something about them that scared him. They were more erratic than an angry wild boar, but that was not the main reason. The main reason he found them so scary was the feeling of helplessness he had when looking at them screaming and crying. The knowledge that he couldn’t do anything to stop the tears and make it all better no matter how much he tried to sent him back in time to being a helpless little boy watching his home burning.

Ghosts of the past passing over his current life as if they were shadows. Masking the light of the sun and plunging his thoughts into darkness. His hand stopped before it could touch the door and he cast his eyes out into the gardens of the castle.

Bathing in the moonlight the plants and rocks looked mystical. The way the colours changed and glowed had him thinking of far off lands and tales from the past. Places where mythical creatures dwelled waiting for unsuspecting humans.

Under the tree by the reflecting pool stood the figure of someone he knew all too well. His wife. In a land of moonlight, she probably fitted in all too well but it did make him want to run to her side to remind her to come home again. To follow him back to where the sunlight could find her. Something about her standing there alone made him think of all that. She suddenly looked fragile. His strong stubborn love in the silvery rays.

“Aerion!” He called out before he could reach her and was a little pleased when she turned to him giving him a faint smile.

“That’s my name.” Her blue eyes looked almost grey in the muted light, but her white hair sparkled like starlight.

“What are you doing out here? You’re going to catch a cold.” Yukimura removed his own haori and wrapped her up tight inside it.

“You finally remembered one thing Shingen told you then?” She made no attempt to brush away his hands as they touched her chilled skin instead she teased him as she always did.

“Don’t start. Look I –”

“I’m sorry.” She cut him off before he could speak.

“What?”

“I’m sorry. I realise its hard for you too and I was kind of only thinking of things from my side but I can’t hold back with you sometimes. You never tell me what you are really thinking and half of what you do I don’t find out about until it’s happened. You probably think it’s protecting me but it’s not. I want to know I want you to tell me I don’t care if it seems insignificant to you. I want to know Yuki I can’t take not knowing and then having to deal with curveballs out of nowhere.” Everything came flowing out of her in a giant torrent. Every thought and feeling she had been masking on full display at a speed that made his own head spin.

“Hey hey calm down.” He was at a loss as to what to do and settled on grabbing her and giving her a hug. Pressing her face into his chest as he stroked her hair. She could probably feel his own heart pounding but he couldn’t care less about that right now. “Dummy I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere I’m sorry I know I stressed you I didn’t mean to make it happen like that.”

“Promise me you won’t do it again. You said we were in this together. You said we are a team remember?” Her muffled voice was so earnest as she spoke it made him smile. She was back where she belonged. He had her by his side and she would be in the sun with him tomorrow as always.

“Yeah, I do. Of course, I do. I promise. I’m sorry too.”

---

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omegle-poop-stories · 5 years

Text

You're chatting with a random stranger. Say STAND WITH HONG KONG AGAINST THE CCP!

You both like pee, poop, shit, and scat.

35m, looking for a messy/naughty girl who loves to play messy

Do you accept 15 year olds? Because I am that girl~

Really?

Am I too old?

Nope

Younger than my mum actually

Because...... a very messy kinky little girl is kind of my fantasy :D

Heh well

I love roleplay and if your up for it I'll be your sexy messy naughty little maid and slut

sounds like fun. Do you mind if I ask how you go to be so kinky at such a young age?

I was kinkier when I was 7

oh?

No I didn't even know what cum was but I was into the bdsm, scat, piss, cunt slapping, soiling, diapers all that before I turned 8

omg you are like the perfect girl

(Love diapers! on "older" girls)

Did someone introduce you to it? Or you just found out that you liked messing yourself and slapping your cunt?

Hehe I actually wore diapers because of bedwetting problems but they were to expensive so I had to stop wearing

And no I just found it I guess idk how but yea

It was years ago 😂

Do you like it when you exicted older guys so much?

The guys I talked to were usually 26-30

But one guy in particular was like 37

And he was like ew he asked to see pics if me every five seconds

And even when I was out he was like "hey send me a pic of your pussy"

Anyway

sorry that he was a jerk

It's not your fault he's probably dead now it's been 6 years lol

how do you like to play exaclty.... messing (obviously) . being fucked in your mess?

do you have an ultimate fantasy?

Oh yea I like being fucked in the ass in particualr

Yes I have a fantasy

May I hear it?

Sure

I wanna be fucked till I'm numb dripping in cum, sweat and piss, I want you to whip spank and slap me till I cry then force me to hold my mess until I literally cant and I'm begging to use the bathroom if I manage to hold it for 6 days straight I am allowed to use the bathroom if not I have to go into public in ONLY my soiled panties

And after that I wanna be put in diapers and re potty trained until I learn not to mess myself

ohh... that kind of dovetails with a fantasy of mine.... fucking you after you have held in your mess so long that you wet/mess all over. Works for all three holes ;) . I also love fully clothed sex/messing (and I already mentioned diapers

do you eat/drink/swallow at all? Or just mess?

I've never tried it tbh but I mean I would love to give my mess to people

I mean if they wanted it 😂

I was more asking for something along this scenario.... I make you hold and you are sucking me (or more accuratly I am fucking your face) and you mess your diaper so I make you take it off and wrap it around my cock and continue the BJ with your dirty diaper

but that isn't for everyeone

Oh that sounds fun hehe and I suppose id do it if I was particularly horny

But not something I'd do unless someone mentioned it

i also love the idea of having you as my maid (or daughters bff or whatever reason you are in my house) and we start a kinky taboo affair where I am your daddy and you are my messy little/baby girl

like purposely "being bad" and messing yourself during a BJ and then i fuck you in your little messy ass

That sounds like a new fantasy of mine 🤭

my little taboo teenage messy mistress.... wearing things that you know will drive me crazy...

did you want to rp the build up... (which can be boring... depending on the partner) or after we have allready discovered each other?

Hmm well I think discovered each other would be fun but maybe like just coming home for tea or something with your daughter and immediately think your hot as fuck

okay we can do that. How forward do you want me to be?

Little does your daughter know I wear diapers and as soon as I walk past you notice a faint shitty smell

Maybe like touchy feely but not to forward as if to say "I love you" but maybe giving subtle hints as in letting my butt or stroking my back

Patting*

okay. anything you really really want to include (or exclude?)

Nope I'm fine with anything you are

And I don't think we need to include anything else

okay

You want to start if off given that you have the scene idea

My name will be Kira btw I'll just call you sir or mister

Sure

*she waits behind her best friend looking nervous to meet her parents as she watches the door open and catches an eye on her father, she gets shy and looks behind her making sure the smell and bulge isn't noticeable* h-hi sir *she blushes and walks past*

*I am immediately taken by you... your appearance... your shyness.... your apparently hiding your ass*. "Well hello..... I don't think we have met before, have we? Kirstin (my daughter) don't be rude.... introduce us"

*she shuffles behind Kirstin and mumbles* hi.. i-im Kira *she figured it would be easier to Introduce herself*

*Kristin rolls her eyes and shrugs you off and goes into the bathroom and closes the door... leaving you without cover* . "Hello Kira.... Why so shy? I promise I don't bite *I wink, but not in a creepy way*

*she turns away whe. She realises she's blushing again and makes a face if strain as if trying to push something out* mmh c-cause...uhm

*I step forward and gently place my hand on your back in a fatherly fashion* . "Kira you don't look like you feel well... come sit in my office" *I guide you into my office.... looking at the bulge in the back of your skirt causing the bulge in the front of my pants to grow.

"Here have a seat" I offer you a very plush chair and smile . "You really don't look well" I prompt

B-but I ... *She blushes again this time not even attempting to hide it as she sits down she hears a few crackles and crinkles she blushed harder and pushes making a face if strain again* s-sir where is your bathroom?

"Kristin is using it... " I pause looking down at you.... "Kira... is there something you want to tell me?"

N-no! Sorry I just need the bathro- mmh -om that's all *she smiles and stands up realising a noticeable brown patch on the chair cushions as she sits back down real quick* y-you know what nevermind I don't need the toilet

(from the hallway) "Dad I need to go pickup someone from the mall... is Kira okay staying here?" *I look at you with an amused stare as if to say.... 'are you going to go and let me see the brown patch...?'* . my pants growing tight as the sight of the cute little story unfolding in front of me

*she looks at him confused but she shouts to the hallway * yea I'm fine staying Kris!,

*she gets up not realising the brown patch on her skirt was even more visible as she bent over and flipped the cushion around so it wasn't noticable*

"umm... Kira..... " *I ask... in an amused tone* "You do realize that the stain isn't only on the cushion.... right?"

*she stands up straight suddenly holding her hand on her butt* w-what stain...?

*Looking in your eyes I walk straight over to you... looking down at you by the time I get there... I grab the hem of your skirt and pull it up so that you can see the brown clearly on the red... also your diaper (what kind)* . "This one silly girl... and the matching one on my cushion..... I know you are wearing a diaper *I pat it gently*... a very full diaper.... how old are you?" I ask, not in a mad or demeaning way... but in a very curious way

(medium sized adult diapers any kind) *she blushes and starts crying but not in a sad way in s more furious way as she hugs him tight only reaching to his chest she buries her face in and mumbles* 13...

*I ebrace you tightly* . "It is okay Kira.... 13 and still in diapers.... but you know you need to you the bathroom..... Interesting"

*whispering in your ear now... still embracing you* "can I tell you a secret?"

Y-yea.. *she looks up at him wiping her tears*

*helps wipe tears with thumb* "I think it is really cute when girls are still in diapers"

Then why isn't Kris in diapers...couldn't you make her wear themmm- *rethinking what she said she thought it sounded weird and creepy immediately regretting what she had said* I'm sorry I didn't mean it to come across like that *she really needed a change as a faint hissing noise came from her diaper and she blushed*

*holding you this close you feel my cock twitch as you wet* . "Well... I don't want to feel the way about my daughter as I feel for you.... and don't be embarrassed.... why do you wear?"

Well earlier I asked where the bathroom was so I could change but I don't actually know how to use a toilet, I've been potty trained but only with one of those plastic ones and never learned how to use a big one...I also feel unsafe and it's scary when I go near one as j don't know what to do with the metal thingy or the water inside

"oh babygirl.... why have you never been potty trained?" *I as... worrying about abuse*

O-oh uh..*she sighs knowing she had already told him about the diapers so why not about her parents* well..my family kinda..don't wanna... acknowledge my existence? *She giggles nervously trying to make it as a joke*

"oh babygirl....." I hold you close, starting to feel bad about starting to hit on you. "It sounds like you need someone to take care of you"

*she suddenly got an idea* c-could I come and live with you and Kris? *She said excitedly as she looked up with a huge smile on her face*

*emotions rush through me* . "I... I am not sure that is the best idea Kris...... I am not sure I could...." *I trail off... looking at the cute little diapered 13yo in front of me

*she looks disappointed as she says sadly* okay.. *she walks off into the hall to find the bathroom*

"hey hey hey" . I catch up with you.... "It is just that.... I am really attracted to you Kira... and I shouldn't be... you are 13 and I don't think I could be good"

*she blushes but fights it away* I've just met you y'know? *She crouches next to her bag and looks for the diapers* where are they? Fuck..where are they!?

*she remembers she forgot to pack them as she looked dispointed in herself as she knew she had no change of clothes or diapers now*

*she hears the front door open as Kris comes in*

(not sure where you are going with this)

(oof sorry just gonna roll with it alright?*

((Okay I will will trust you)

"Hey Kristin.... did you get your errand ran?" i ask in a disinterested way

Kristen: yea I have to get the diap- uh...groceries upstairs real quick I'll be down in a minute...and why does it smell like a pig sti

her slip up was not missed by me.... "I had mexican for lunch" I explain away after seeing the terror on your face

As she disappears upstairs.... I look at you . "Why doe smy daughter have diapers?"

Probably becauseeee her friend dared her to buy them? Or she might be using them to get boys into that online I mean that's worst case scenario but I'm not sure what else

"Oh you dared her to buy them?" I ask... half interested / half irritated. "If you want me to let you change into a clean one you will tell me why"

W-what n-noo I didn't I'm just uh guessing! I swear!

"oh I bet all the 13 year old girls are trying diapers aren't they?" I ask in mock parental agitation....

"Are you telling me that the one sexy 13yo girl who wears and uses diapers isn't the one who dared her to buy them?" (i don't notice my sexy slip)

S-sexy? *She blushed and shook her head* no I didn't

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twdmusicboxmystery · 6 years

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AK’s Script Notes and Why I Love Them!

Okay, I’ve gotten some questions about this the past week and people asking me to post about it. This actually came out before last Sunday’s episode, so I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to address it. (Life is crazy and all that jive.)

So some of Angela Kang’s notes came out from episode 1. Unfortunately, they’ve lit a fire under a certain dark ship who are now on a mission, and I know people are a little disturbed by it.

So, for anyone who hasn’t seen it, what surfaced were AK’s notes on the scene they released as a sneak peek for episode 1. The one where Daryl and Carol are talking and he says Ezekiel is corny, but he’s happy for her, etc.

I want to start by saying that my FB group actually talked about this scene and reached several conclusions long before AK’s notes came out. Because it was a sneak peek for the premiere, we had this scene broken down, analyzed to death and had practically written dissertations on it before it even aired. (Hehe.)

And I remember us specifically talking about whether there was a jealous factor involved. We decided that there was, but not in the way most people would think. We thought Daryl WAS jealous of Carol and Ezekiel, but not because he’s in love with Carol and wants her to be with him. Obviously. It’s because he’s jealous of what they have. He’s lonely and has never found happiness with a romantic partner.

I think some of his bitterness about Ezekiel’s “corniness” comes from the fact that Daryl never got to have this with Beth. I can see his thought process being a little bit spiteful like, “How come THIS guy who’s so corny gets this happiness and I don’t?”

So again, my group figured all this out before episode 1 aired. In it’s purest form, his jealousy is really more about Beth than Carol. And, perhaps even more to the point, about himself and his own loneliness. At this point, he’s seen SO many couples around him in the people he cares about: Glaggie, Richonne, Rosita/Abraham, Sashraham, Tara/Denise, Aaron/Eric, and now Carzekiel. I’m sure it’s on his mind a lot.

So these notes of AK’s surfaced and one word that people are zeroing in on is “Jealousy.” Naturally, it has a certain shipping fandom screaming from the rooftops that “C@ryl is endgame.” You just have to understand that they’re misinterpreting her notes

While it doesn’t define what she means by jealousy, that didn’t bother any of us because we already knew that and what it meant. If you break down the scene in conjunction with both Daryl’s and Carol’s long-term arcs, its very apparent what the jealousy refers to.

But if you want more proof, check out the word next to jealous that those shippers are completely ignoring and just pretending isn’t there:

Saudade.

Saudade is a word that exists in Portuguese and Galicican, but doesn’t have a direct translation into English. As you can see from Angela’s notes, it means “a feeling of nostalgia or melancholy; longing for someone or something you love that’s gone.

THIS is what Daryl is feeling in this scene. And he’s never lost Carol. She’s never been gone (although she has tried to abandon him a few times). I know the shippers are trying to say it means he’s lost his chance to be with her or some such nonsense, but think about what’s been said in the show.

Then @bluesandbeth sent me THIS LINK, which describes what saudade means. Look at what is written here, guys. Everything about it screams Beth and nothing in here sounds remotely like Carol’s arc or character:

“…a deep emotional state of nostalgic or profound melancholic longing for an absent something or someone that one loves…the object of longing might never return…”

“Stronger forms of saudade might be felt toward people and things whose whereabouts are unknown, such as a lost lover, or a family member who has gone missing, moved away, separated, or died.”

Beth anyone? Missing girl theme, anyone? Carol has never fit ANY of these descriptions. But it goes on:

“Saudade was once described as ‘the love that remains’ after someone is gone.”

“…the recollection of feelings, experiences, places or events that once brought excitement, pleasure, well-being, which now triggers the senses and makes one live again. (emphasis mine). It can be described as emptiness, like someone…that should be there in a particular moment is missing, and the individual feels this absence.”

See what I mean? For me, this is absolute confirmation from AK that Daryl is still thinking about Beth and it’s her loss still making him sad. (Thank you, Angela!)

Furthermore, in terms of basic logic, they would not send something like this out to fans (apparently it was part of the TWD drop box) that would have spoilers in it. So that ship saying this came out to hint that Caryl is about to go canon is kinda ridiculous. They wouldn’t be that obvious or put spoilers in the drop box.

I believe they included this to give us insight into Daryl’s loneliness. They wanted us to understand how Daryl is feeling during this scene. (Naturally some people are twisting it around to fit their own theories.) With that in mind, let’s look at some of these other notes because they really are fascinating.

Starting at the top, Angela’s notes say, (next to the line where Carol puts out his cigarette and says, “These things’ll kill you.”

“Want the sense of shared history between them, honest in a way they can’t be with anyone else; it’s 2 a.m. after the bar closed down, sitting on the hood of a car.”

So establishing their history and the fact that they’re BFFs. We already know all that, but AK was noting that she really wanted it to come through in the scene, which I think it did.

Below that from “snore fancy” through “corny” it says:

“Daryl – buried jealousy of Zeke but knows he’s not a bad guy. – King persona so counter to Daryl’s personality.”

It’s that last part that’s super-interesting to me. I already addressed the jealousy, but it specifically says that Daryl has the opposite of a king’s persona. Yeah, I could go off on volumes of tangents about this. I won’t, but here’s a few things to consider:

1. Daryl doesn’t consider himself a king. He considers himself something between humble subject and not-deserving-of-anything.

2. Maybe some of his jealousy/bitterness stems from the fact that he IS so opposite of Zeke. Like he thinks he’s undeserving BECAUSE he’s not at all like that.

3. It also goes to show that he and Carol both need someone as a romantic partner that is utterly unlike them. We’ve said it a million times: these two are ridiculously similar. That’s why they’r besties. But also why they wouldn’t make good romantic partners. They both have way too much of a predilection toward falling into darkness. Beth may not have a “king persona” (though we all know she’s the Queen of Diamonds) but her personality is VERY similar to Zeke’s, which is why she’s good for Daryl and Ezekiel is good for Carol.

Okay, you get the idea. Let’s move on.

Next, Carol’s line about how after what she went through with Ed, corny is really nice, is circled. Angela’s note says, “the heart of the deal for Carol – she’s probably never said this to anyone else.”

So once again, she can talk to Daryl about things she doesn’t talk to anyone else about. But I like that AK calls this the “heart” of the scene for Carol. This tells us a lot about the relationship from Carol’s side. She’s telling us why she’s with Zeke, why she wants to be with him, why she values his love so much. And Daryl understands not only because he knows her first husband abused her, but because he’s been the object of abuse himself. So he gets it. (Which is what it says one line down in the script: Daryl nods. He gets it.)

Finally, the part where Daryl says he’s glad and happy for her and she deserves it, AK’s note says:

“Vulnerable; heart of Daryl’s problem…wants things to be…they were but they’re not and he’s struggling with that.”

This is something Daryl’s says later to Rick in episode 1: he wants things to go back to how they were in the beginning with just their small group. He’s nostalgic for the prison and the fulfillment he felt there, but obviously, “you can’t go back.”

So yeah. That’s about all I have to say about this. Don’t let other shippers freak you out. They’re gonna say what they’re gonna say, and believe what they’re gonna believe and that’s their right. Keep in mind, they said the same thing about 5x06, because it was about Daryl and Carol running around Atlanta together. Nothing. They said it about their cabin scenes in 7x10. Nope. It won’t be any more true now than at any other time they’ve said it. The show, the show runners, and the actors have told us again and again that Carol and Daryl’s relationship is platonic.

In fact…okay this is a different ship and I’m sorry to mix them, but I was glancing back through Asks that I answered prior to 9x01 airing, and I received and answered a LOT of worried Anons about the Darsita ship. The Darsita shippers were really laying it on thick at that time about how that ship would go canon this season.

Again, I’m a ship and let ship sort of person, but all their theories have already been pretty much disproved. We don’t know what will happen the rest of the season, of course, but we already know Rosita is with FG and spoilers tell us she’ll cheat on him…but not with Daryl. So please don’t let the shippers freak you out.

Yes, we’re shippers too and I’m sure they say similar things to this about us, but we’re also the only ones I know of that pay attention to actual symbolism in the show and listen closely to what tptb and others involved in the production actually tell us.

And then there’s that shot of Beth lying beside Daryl in Rick’s hallucination in 9x05. Just saying. ;D

#beth greene #beth greene lives #beth is alive #beth is coming #td theory #td theories #team delusional #team defiance #beth is almost here #bethyl

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gwisingegooli · 6 years

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party yesterday and the night before was really good

it’s cool talking to new people who are different ages and have different experiences from you!! everybody was really memorable, and nice. good mix of people for sure.

i really liked hanging out w people and just having a chill time yesterday. hope theres more opportunities to hang out w everyone. endless joints being passed around. we thought we ran out of alcohol but then there was a ton more in the freezer LOL. that’s how you know a party’s good.

one guy, ama_ris, was a total party dad, checked on everyone, made sure volume wasn’t too loud outside, also yiked on some chick and we were all like oh mah god LOLOL apparently someone who wasn’t black said the n word and he made a psa to erryone that that word wasn’t ok LOL it was like oof but yeah. i gave him an edible but just one since he already took half a tab of molly LOL

jerem__y x_ue came through with his gf!! they were realy cute togetha. she’s really sweet and smiley. they were hella good at beer pong but they were playing against one dude m_att who was literally on the baseball team!!!! ma_tt literally made six cups in a row LOLOL but it ended up being a really close, hype game.

then i played w someone and i was actually IN THE ZONE and turned my competitive tryhard mode on. we were both killin it but we ended up very narrowly losing. but it was definitely a good game.

there were these three white girls who came and were havin a good time together and i really liked their vibe. i only met one of them but apparently she went to tino, same year as jer_my and they were like omg!!! LOLOL i talked to her for like ten seconds but her smile was so cute and bright that i got really smilely back LOL

the dance floor was SO INTENSE LOL. i’m not cool so i didn’t know the songs that well but people were like GOING AT IT yellin lyrics grindin on each other. i just like danced through it every time i moved rooms LOL whoo cannot match that energy but wish i could

whenever we went outside there were some dope conversations going on. a decent amount of tino people came thru, and it was nice seeing the homies again. n_ic_k and i r actually bffs now hehe. he was rolling for the first time in a year and i would see him every once in a while and he’d update me w how he was feeling. i’d be like u good homie :) LOL

this dude named con_over was fuckin lit at talking and really knew bay area culture. you could tell he’d hung out w a ton of different people, and he was really quick. he was talking to g_abe about like armenian people in the bay, and like competitive hs kids at lynbrook, about p flo LMAO yknow

later when we were chilling outside i told him he should stream LOLOL and actually he’s like decent at gaming although he doesnt make it his whole life. i was vibin w the group convo tho and then he engaged me in like side convo about video games and kinda awk but when he asked me about like how much i play and stuff i was like eh i dont really wanna talk about video games rn. and then he like clarified and asked again and i was like nah i just dont really wanna talk about video games rn. cause i just wanted to rejoin the main group but is whateva

ok now talkin bout a few things myself. i realized what dfeng meant when he said i didn’t know how to chill. i know how to be an active participant, and even a passive participant, but i never just chill LOL but yesterday was perfect for just chillin and absorbin the vibes. i think that’s literally the most i’ve just chilled at a party LOL imma do that more bc uhhh why not lol. go w the flow.

also edibles r my fave at a party. i feel really chill and like ok w everything.

i also tried like coming up w really good group questions when the timing was right and there was the slightest lull in convo. it was pretty great LMAO and i love asking shit like that. like if there was a coin and one side was $50 million, and the other side was aids... would you flip it LOL i love when people have strong answers and go off LOLOL

i also love like side vibin w randos. if theres a vibe i appreciate ill let u know yknow LOLOL one guy was goin off about how cereal was a soup and i was like u got some wisdom to share and he was like meaningfully nods LOLOL

i think i should leave a little earlier? idk lol i think i left at a perfect time but shit just happened to go down (three people helping someone yakking outside). my only regret is like being kinda rude to con_over and then not helping that person outside. i shouldve just checked in instead of being weird about it and just leaving. luckily con_over is cool and was like have a nice night LOLOL. i also missed saying goodbye to amar_is since he went to help out w vomiting dood

also lowkey everyone at the party who knew me hyped me up and was like THIS IS THE MEME QUEEN LOOOOL i was like .oh god.. but its my legacy tho (◡‿◡✿) everybody at the office apparently still talks about me all the time like i’m still there heart heart. i’m so glad i got the opporunity to be editor in chief. and i’m also so glad that la voz only continues to grow and be even more amazing. my office was like i love everyone!! lets have a fun time. and then it was like. we are legitimizing journalism. this program will train you. *intense voice* but i love it. and chr_istian is totally gonna do an amazing job. he knows how to be serious and connect w everyone. i gave him my blessing LOL he’s gonna be amazing.

i liked really talking to a_na, cause i hadn’t before. and anna (different person) was great LOL she knew how to be the life of the party and had an amazing laugh.

one dude j_osh was MY MAN LOL he literally went around the party w alc and his goal was to make sure everyone got fucked up. it was amazing i loved him. i wanna be that guy too LOLOL. whenever i saw him making rounds in whatever room i was in i’d be like my man LOLOL and he’d do the bro nod and smile

i really liked everyone there. none of the guys were weird at all. nobody was shady. everyone was nice and out here to have a good time, get a lil turnt, make new friends, maybe share some wisdoms.

just mah reflections. i wanna say bye to everyone when possible!! always check in on fucked up people. chill. ask fun questions. wish i did one crazy, memorable thing but there’s always next time LOLOL

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rexylafemme · 7 years

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this precious time when time is new

things come full circle all the time. ruben touched down in nyc on saturday. micah and i trekked to laguardia to get him, laughing on the way about how ridiculous we all were in the bay, how we bet our lil ruben looks more grown now, seasoned, hehe. the last time micah, ruben, and i were together was for the full pisces supermoon in late summer, september 2015--the night before micah would move back to nyc, our last full night at our house all together. a month before ruben would leave, two months before i would leave. this time, ruben arrived in time for the virgo full moon, pisces’ opposite, in late winter 2017, the coldest, snowiest week we’ve had.

that last night together in september, we drove to alameda beach armed with paper, some stones, herbs & flowers, gifts & letters from ex-whatevers & poem drafts to throw to the ocean, ruben’s signature drink: fireball whiskey (ew), a blunt, some candles, a mini speaker. all the trappings for a spell for letting go, for saying goodbye. bitch better have my money on in the car ride there, our heads hanging out the window, boisterous--our anthem for that year (/always), being broke, undervalued, and continuously doing too much work for too little or free, retail and retail and food service and gigs and workshops and unofficial art modeling and freelance writing and recording and plans that kept falling through. now we were in the home stretch. we laid down our blanket, we set out our herbs, our stones, our candles. we sat in a triangle, wrote silently for awhile: what we would surrender to the bay, what we would leave there, what we couldn’t keep or hold anymore. also, what new journeys we needed new strength for.

we went around and said some words about what we’d written, said some sentimental stuff about each other. poured out some fireball, passed it around til it was gone--so sickly sugary & spicy like melted/liquefied big red gum, coating yr mouth and throat. we stuffed our losses in the bottle and walked to the shoreline. we fumbled trying to figure out a way for all three of us to hold the bottle while we threw it, haha. the moon hung to the left of our viewscape, leaving a moving trail of yellow on the water as we watched the bottle bobble away. i walked into the water alone up to my waist--feeling grateful, trying to absolve myself of this place and all its failures, looking up at the moon and asking it my questions about what next and help and please don’t let us lose this. hearing micah and ruben laugh from the sand, smiling to myself with love for them, sighing and crying a little. no turning back now, can’t hold onto everything, nothing is forever, and then it was over, the night. tomorrow everything would be different. just one more chip off an already broken heart.

“nothing’s changed!” micah exclaimed laughing as we stood propped against the subway doors on the Q train to brooklyn. ruben and i fake-fighting, the bates motel norma and norman faux-codependence theatrical game we’d play-- we all go a little mad sometimes, there’s a cord between our hearts, etc. the three of us hugging and giggling. after almost two hours of traveling from queens to flatbush, we wound up at micah and sharmin’s for game night. i was in the middle of a two-week marathon of insomnia and ptsd nights, so i was feeling raw/cranky/crazy/depleted/negative and was waiting for my affections to catch up with the present moment. ruben! friends! games! you don’t wanna go home and write by yourself, rex, you fool. it’s saturday night! but knowing when i’m like this, at night i get all weird & doubtful & dark, but reminding myself to just be myself, relax, remember what’s good, no pressure, if you need to leave, you can. and you might even enjoy yourself. and of course i didn’t wind up going home til 2am, spent and full, as suddenly the future hit--clocks springing ahead to 3am for daylight savings.

but before that, sharmin’s friends arrived trickle by trickle until there were about ten of us. uno, jenga, slapjack, drinks, snacks, bullshit, taboo (team names: beyonce v. solange, and ruben and i were on the solange team, the weirder, low key underdog, and we won), stories, music, nintendo, laughter, newness, familiarity. it felt so nourishing to be in a room full of working class folks, folks from queens and bk, and ruben & micah: the two down suburban qts, home people--that easiness and fluency that comes with not having to explain yourself, everyone just getting it, breathing room & shared experiences. micah and i trying to explain all the wild connections between the people in the bay and the people out here. how i met sharmin, tanya (& tres tho only briefly), and jesse through black brunch organizing in 2014 when i was visiting home from the bay. learning sharmin and jesse both were from my qnz hood and knew my childhood bff ro through other organizing avenues. jova and reuben knew sharmin, too, and tanya and tres, jova having told me tanya and i needed to know each other way before this meeting bc of our poor white femme nyc/nj lives. later, when i moved home and jova was so right about tanya and me, and someow tres & tanya had known micah round the way (?!?!?!). and before that, when micah first moved back to nyc, he called me to talk about some amazing femme he met at the club--something that never happens for us--being so enchanted or even pursued at the club (partially bc we never even bothered to go), and as he described her, i was like, “wait, is her name sharmin???” hehehe, clearly micah can’t get enough of catty witches from queens. explaining the connections between all the ex-friends-&-lovers, too--nyc, the bay-- disenchantments & the chaos and the relief that it was all over. happy to be laughing about it now. ending stories. we have no past, we won’t reach back; keep with me forward all through the night.

origin stories. apparently, the first night ruben moved into our 668 apartment, micah and i were hosting a big party. i laughed and apologized retroactively, but it so sums up where we were at at the time. ruben said it helped him integrate tho, he felt welcomed and i remember being so thrilled to introduce him to everyone. realizing how much the three of us got each other through those two years--all the drama, all the marches, the confusion, blowouts, heartbreaks, housing scares, bad jobs, the nights, the mornings--waking up with glitter on our faces, splayed eyeliner, party carnage, or just waking up to work & life fatigue, big breakfasts, sitting in the sun on our stoop year-round. so much we shared and still a lot of room for things we couldn’t say and didn’t have to. but, how home the three of of us felt to each other then, and now, and how we extended that sense of home to others--sometimes guests sleeping over in every room of the house except the kitchen, our place a safe zone on march routes, multiple sets of people staying with us through rocky times, the big meals we’d host when i was working at farmers’ markets & the spice shop simultaneously, pooper cat game nights, the trigger warning performance series + parties we threw out of the house. talya called our place the gay frat house (tho i have to say in defense that it was quite clean). leo sun/leo rising/leo moon trio. so familiar, so sweet, so effortless, so open. our little clubhouse, our little family. remembering is good if you don’t let it be the fear in you.

i think we felt lacking then, i think we felt we couldn’t get our footing or find somewhere where we belonged-- but looking back, we created what we didn’t have and we invited other people into it. all the adult misfits. we got burned by being open indiscriminately and it made us shrinking violets by the end, but we’re blooming again now. riding that bloom wave.

at one point the other night, i overheard sharmin say to a friend, “aren’t they so cute? they’re such teen boys over there.” as we were sitting in a corner doing our thing. and that was always true of our vibe-- our bond full of youthful, long-lost brother feels. but, soft, feminine boys, & sometimes we’re not boys at all. 668 40th st, living one up from hell, we’d joke, which maybe is what gifted us that mythical queer fountain-of-youth gene where we look 17 forever. young leos. after long days of work + grad school madness (me) or undergrad madness (ruben), in between assignments, projects, art, meetings, shifts, we were always watching movies from our childhoods, making forts, running around in our underwear, making art on the floor in the living room, doing drag, playing board games, talking shit, pushing each other around and wrestling and cuddling and teasing each other, holding hands and being protective of each other when we had to. our intimacy--so easy & necessary & good & a balm from the bad intimacies we got lost in at times. we grew together: we all taught each other things and challenged each other, especially through our differences. bb ruben had never met a trans person before and micah and i were like “well, here we are!” and both of us so different in our trans-ness. we were all so inviting & open to excavating each other so we could be better at honoring who we all were.

and in new york now, finally living here on my own terms, regardless of the obstacles: housing scares and failures, the last of the bad intimacies (i hope), and family, i am thinking of who i was before. the sense of un-belonging that’s had me leaving new york over and over, the pain of lineage that had me craving escape, craving to be someone else, craving to leave them all behind. while simultaneously always trying to make sense of the people i come from so i could make sense of myself: the grief i never let go of, the contradictions, the violence and the nourishment of us. how all of this and my own self within it--freakish, theatrical, full of shadows, so of them & yet so so other--had me always searching. the people, the others: i was always looking for and the ones i always found. there were the inexplicably lovable yet destructive ones who reified all of the patterns in me i was always trying to leave behind, and then i finally did. bye. and then all the people who were so new; whose influence, paired with my own, allowed us to make something from nothing-- magic, create beauty from old tragedies, whether we spoke of them or not. cosmic people, like ruben and micah, the pretty, sweet boys. boys who weren’t afraid to cry or to touch or to admit to love and fear and failure and wanting. and the three of us, whoever we are and will be, knowing our love was/is strong enough to withhold our leaving, being apart, and all of the transformations that would flush out of walking away, of change. that there would always be a road back. paths that cross will cross again!

and ruben is still here until saturday, so my sentimentality is running away with me. blame it on my wild heart. hehe.

#venus in furs #venus boys #boys #femmes #shadow #love #friends #queers #leos #young leo #nyc #homecoming #siblings

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ts-indonesia · 5 years

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Episode 7: “back on my bullshit™️” - Anabel

After the birthday murder, the cast merged into the Berbagi Bir merge tribe! In a fierce flag-making immunity challenge, Jess got the job done, and earned herself immunity for the round.

As most merge votes are... this round was mess. SO, Matt’s name was one of the earliest thrown out, as one of the quieter members of the tribe, but Matt’s strong social game earlier in the season meant he had allies (like Anabel & Olivia) who did not wanna see that happen.

Potential Vote #2 was Stoner, spearheaded by Anabel, which was leaked (Host Note: I forget who specifically leaked this... lets go with Chris O because one of the confessionals said so) somewhat shooting that plan down.

On an all-returnee call, the vote was settled on Lorelei, as the least connected and least threatening newbie... but... then people did some things. So.. Owen/Stoner decided that returnee kumbaya was no more, and plotted to secretly flip and send out Matt... But that plan relied on the nuCahaya newbie pair sticking to the plan. In fact Trent/Anabel, motivated by Trent’s closeness to Jess/nuCahaya and Anabel’s strong formed relationship with Matt, decided to in fact vote out Lorelei, turning on the newbies, and lying to Owen/Stoner that they were also flipping on NuCahaya.

At tribal, Anabel played her idol, assuming since she just turned on Chris O, he would leak that she had it, and five members of the tribe were blindsided by Lorelei’s exit, with Owen/Stoner vulnerable due to their failed flip...

OLIVIA

Well I wasted my idol and voted out my best friend

Just vote me out now

STONER

https://youtu.be/8YsRquIDBLc

LEIGH

So the vote went exaclty how Trent and Anabel thought it would lmao. I've played too many of these games with aggressive players, it makes me paranoid. Merge time now!

OWEN

I MADE MERGE AGAIN YEEHAW!!!!! The power that that has... I'm quaking honestly. I was completely surprised the other tribe voted Isaac, but in a way I'm relieved because it means I'm not the only one who turned on old Cahaya. I think those tribal lines are going to fade FAST going into this merge... The only worry I have is if they did Isaac because they thought he flipped on Foxx and they're on a witch hunt, but honestly, it's probably just that he was inactive?? Idk. Anabel must've done something to get back into their good graces? We'll see. I'M SO HAPPY THOUGH!! I get to reunite with Olivia and Jess which I LOVE. I just need to explain myself to them about Foxx and they can explain about Isaac and I'm praying it's okay. I really want to stay loyal to Olivia and Matt as long as I can... I also though want to make a group of me/Chris O/Leigh/Lorelei maybe because I truly like all of them and I feel like I have a great 1 on 1 bond with all three. I know that Chris/Leigh at least talk, but I don't have a read on how close Lorelei is with them? We'll see. And it would be nice to pull Jess in to the Matt/Olivia stuff. My problem now is that I'm spreading myself WAY too thin. I have some sort of trust built or at least like cordial conversation built with everyone left except for Michael. It's going to get real fucking messy for me from here on out and it's going to bite me in the ass sooner rather than later because there's a huge chance that, unless something shuffles around, I get caught between two sides and I can't let that expose me so soon. But for now I'm just gonna be social and relax and enjoy talking to these people, because I do really like them a lot.

LORELEI

I made it to merge 😭😭😭 I'm so happy and so proud of myself. I'm so thankful for my alliance with Trent, Chris o, leigh, Anabel and myself. I couldn't have made it here without them. And Owen too, I wouldn't have made it this far if he, Leigh and Chris hadn't managed to flip the vote and vote Foxx (legend) out. I hope I can make it even further!

MICHAEL

One world confessional https://youtu.be/KCz4Lma5f0c

Pre Merge confessional https://youtu.be/vbcNhFsJUVg

OLIVIA

Me: votes out Isaac Me: I wanna talk to ISAAC HE GETS ME Me: it was for the best Me: BRING ME FRIEND

Mmmmmmok so I voted out Isaac, very heartbreaking. I spent all day not doing my homework also.

But now we’ve merged. NuCahaya seems strong. Anabel is excited to work with us and we had a cute ten min call before the tribal and Trent sent a very nice message after, I appreciated that he acknowledged that was hard for me to do.

I wasted my idol, but I think I managed to convince everyone it was a one round only idol lmao. If no one was convinced then oh well. It was so weird like an anxiety monster just took over my body and was like “everyone hates you and if you don’t play your idol you’re OUT” So that’s cute

But anyways. Owen, Matt and I had a very joyous and cute reunion which is interesting since I sorta set owen up as this big ol mastermind with NuCahaya 👀 I painted him as a target for the Foxx vote but he said it was because foxx was throwing around stoner’s name. Stoner was barely around and just went for it apparently. So those three definitely still wanna do like an all veterans thing? (Owen, stoner, Matt). Aaaaand like Jess, Michael, Trent, and Anabel all think we’re a fivesome against Owen and his minions which isn’t exactly the case but may be. Sooooooooooo. Yeah. The fivesome is outnumbered, the veterans aren’t. However Michael and Jess are 100% pro NuCahaya, which I am too. But like I love my dudes too. This vote is gonna change everything because it’s all peaches and cream rn lol. And I’m sorta smack in the middle it feels like with my Owen and Matt alliance which no one knows about and the NuCahaya which I don��t think the veterans would suspect. But I think voting out Isaac safely secured Anabel and Trent with us. I just can’t voice my opinion too much on this vote and I’ve gotta just calm down and fade into the background. Hopefully for now I can keep the delicate balance and we can get Leigh out who isn’t really playing. Jess I told about my idol and she wasn’t too mad at me stupidly playing it I hope lmao. We’re trying to figure out this new idol system together.

I’m sorry Isaac, ily. I hope I can make cutting out my heart in this game worth it.

TRENT

So last night's vote was wild. The awesome foursome wanted to vote out isaac because Anabel is in it. But we needed to do it in a way that Olivia is on board, so we can use her as a number in the future. So we spent hours discussing the pros and cons, which was pointless because jess and michael were going to vote it anyway. Finally at like 8:45 Olivia agrees to vote Isaac. THEN i get a message from leigh and chris who are the infiltrators. They are freaking out because jess and michael won't confirm to vote isaac. They want to flip the vote on Olivia. Which makes no sense but they wanted to do a 3-3-1 tie and then get her out in the tie. Again makes no sense. I finally calm them down and tell them just to trust me and anabel will be safe. And of course at tribal, olivia plays her idol and i freak out thinking we got play, but thank goodness we didnt. Thank goodness we didn't listen to chris or leigh as well because that would have been super awkward to explain. Now we are at merge, and the Charlie alliance is back in business. Somehow we all survived. Even though we were split down the middle with anabel and I being in the minority of the other tribe. Both of our tribes got returnees out. No matter which way you look at it, im at a 6-5 disadvantage. 6 returnees 5 newbies, 6 new obor 5 new cahaya. I just need to survive this next vote and the I think i'll be golden for a little while. I'm hearing some whispering of targeting matt next, and that would be perfect because it gets me to 5-5.

OWEN

Holy shit I just found an idol thank GOD!!!! I’m gonna fuck some shit up with this !!! YEEEEEESSSSS. I’ve officially found one three seasons in a row hehe :’) the grind nvr stops am I right Idk who to tell tho I feel like I need to say something to someone but... Idk. Might be nice to keep to myself

OLIVIA

Real depressed I didn’t win the challenge, spent so long hand drawing it and put a lot of love into it bc I truly love all my tribemates but I know Jess did the same and hers looks cool too. Cannnnot believe I got second again I’ve literally gotten second like every single flag challenge I’ve done 🙄

I had fun drawing today at least, that was a nice change of pace and I’m personally happy with how it turned out so that’s good haha and I realized I’m not half bad I should draw more. I’m always so negative about what I do and think everything looks terrible so I never end up doing anything

I have no idea about this next vote, glad my bff won the challenge. I gotta lay low and make sure it ain’t me. 4 gays + finance manager Trent want Owen or one of his “squad” out. I’m going on call in my owen and Matt alliance tomorrow. Those two and stoner I’m sure wanna realign the veterans and get out a newbie. Maybe I can keep up the façade and direct both into getting out either Lorelei, Leigh, or Chris o (even tho, since getting to know them they’re all so sweet and cool but SOMEONE has to go)

So hopefully that happens. I’ll see what Owen and Matt say tomorrow. As for Chris stoner, who knows 🤷‍♀️

OWEN

i was telling my roommates that I was stressed about this game bc i feel close to too many people and i said im just gonna randomize and the top five ppl on the list ill screw over..... guess whose name was on top? MATT. :o which is a little fitting bc i think it might come down to matt vs leigh tonight. idk it's been SO FUCKING quiet today it's really scaring me. i talked to jess and brought up that i thought matt or leigh will be the targets. she's so freaking sketchy to talk to bc she doesnt want to commit to ANYTHING. like...girl, u got the immunity??? be brave??? speak ur mind???????????????????? but she seemed to be tossing around the idea of doing matt... here's my deal. i love olivia and i even like matt a lot, and I like the torchsnuffers. but rn it seems weaker to move forward with them??? bc i love my bonds with chris o and lorelei.... and stoner of course. basically im in a middle of two sides and the most unanimous I can get rn, the fucking better!1!11 but I dont want to hurt olivia rn... :( GOD!!!!!!!!!!!! this is just all a tangled mess and I dont want to get caught in it too deep but i already AM!!!! if we were zoobeenee this never wouldve happened.... will it be leigh? will it be matt? will it be me?????? not sure. the only thing i know is after tribal tonight im gettin fuckin drunk!

JESS

I GOT IMMUNITY WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU JUDGES <3

MATT

bITCHES Be CONSPIRING AGAINSt ME!!

ANABEL

https://youtu.be/nYZxeLs1hY0

well. maybe the bitches. don’t. wanna. vote. stoner.

OWEN

Duck I am so stressed now The six returnees all called and decided on Lorelei. I’m ducking s reading I wish they decided anabel or something Idk . God dang it..... I don’t want to lose lorelei when she’s been so nice to me and I already saved her on the foxx vote. So I could do two things.... I could vote for Matt with stoner and chris/Leigh/Lorelei and hope that Trent or anabel do too. Then Lorelei is safe but I burn a bridge with olivia and jess which would suck and then I’m giving anabel and Trent a lot of power. I could give Lorelei my idol and tell her to play it on herself and then vote for her to try to save face with the vets but then like what if she tells them I gave it to her or they think I told her to use it.... and also matt would still be gone :( so Idk ughhh and then if that’s the case how to I explain to chris and Leigh why I voted her ???? I want stoner and I to maybe split our vote and then see what Trent an anabel do... idk I can’t decide but omg Trent is calling me. I could also just vote Lorelei and ride it iur

OLIVIA

Truly sorry for my lack of confessionals! Busy day. So I’m pretty confident it’s lorelei but for all we know it could be me! I’m finding myself not as stressed out because I don’t think I’ll EVER be as stressed out as I was with the Isaac vote so even if it’s me, not saying I’ll not be sad, but I’m more at peace. I’ve been on so many calls today jfc. Jess really finessed the hell outta this one with her insanely cool trick to get anabel and Trent to vote Lorelei that was awesome. If I have time later tonight I’ll explain more of what went down today later but until then? Sayonara!

The Isaac vote like changed me as a player it’s wild. I’ve never voted out my closest friend in a game and now I have and like lived through it like I’m?? Ok? Like it was so horrible but it was like digging a bullet out of my heart. It sounds so weird but like it opened up my ability to play without being like insane stressball and hopefully I can carry this through the game. It probably doesn’t make sense but yeah 😂

JESS

I'm tired of sitting around letting games slip through my fingers. This round I have immunity so why not crack a bit? I want that OTT baby! This round is going to be complicated. I don't want Matt to go whatsoever. What a plot twist from the begging of the season? I see no benefit of taking out someone who I believe will be in my corner in this game for a bit? I've compromised enough the last round with taking out Isaac for Trent/Anabel... THIS ROUND IS FOR ME! So I decided to be a rat ass bitch and tell Matt his name was going around. Will this fuck me over next round? Absolutely. Do I care? A lot. Will I regret taking out someone who I see has no benefit to me? NOPE. The way Lorelei and Chris O went about this round rubbed me the wrong way. Chris let me know Matt's name was going around but refused to give me ANY of the details. That just proves to me he does not trust me one bit. Lorelei straight up lied to me so homegirl NEEDS TO GO. Anabel had some genius plan on getting Stoner out (YASSSSSSS). But she didn't listen to me... and told Chris O aka: basically telling Stoner. It obviously got back to Stoner which caused chaos. However, it proved to me that sooo many people are close and exposed relationships. I was able to convince Anabel/Trent to do Lorelei which I hope will work? I don't know. All I know if Lorelei dies in this game I'll be happy. There's only room for one girl from Montréal here :$

OWEN

I have to just make a decision and move forward. After talking to Trent, I think I've decided to do Matt tonight. I feel confident that Trent could be an ally for me. Stoner, Chris O, and Lorelei are all really solid alliances to me right now as well, more than I feel with Michael. I know I'm burning Jess and Olivia and I don't really know what to say to them after. I'm feeling guilty as fuck right now, I wish I didnt put myself in this position. But it's a game, and for me right now, Lorelei is someone I want to go really far with. If they had picked Anabel maybe it would be a different story... Idk. This could still blow up in my face and send me out and honestly??? I'm so exhausted from the last 10 hours i prob wouldnt mind mmmmm ive finally fucking snappt and it's time to follow thru the crazy xo

OLIVIA

Listen, could I technically go to tribal? Yeah but after the damage my anxiety did to me at the last one imma just sit back and let the texts roll in while I do tranquility dot to do puzzles

#whenyourfiresout

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survivormuxloe · 5 years

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Episode #8: “hoebi hears ALL things shady...” - Tobi

Ok I’m super excited because we finally got a challenge involving something I’m good at which is aesthetics. I fucking love moodboards and I really wanna win a challenge so I’m hoping I can win this.

So I am absolutely not creative at all so this challenge is gonna be a struggle for me so love that

So Wes was just voted out. Im neutural about it. Yes wes was a number, but it wouldve done too much drama to try and save him. Im playing my game not his. He didnt do himself any favours.

This round my target is david. He seems like someone who isnt central to everyone. So therefore I think he would easier to get votes on. Plus scott has mentioned david annoys him. So im hoping that now i can managed to pull 2 people our way to vote our david.

people sure gettin feisty..

lets start off with missus dani and mr michael the obvious f2.. like bitch if ur gonna leak things i tell u dont make it obvious!! LAMFJHFG and now dani wants to flip the script on felix bc She Doesnt Want To Do What Shes Told. like gtfo :) ugh im sick of them both i wanna blindside them so bad..

and then i might get caught leakin if this shit gets out more.. hope the vote stays at felix vs david tho bc its bye bye david :)

uhm idk wha t more to say. im done with these mercia people..

Today... the tea... is absolutely STEAMING!! so initially the plan was for david to leave bc felix also wanted to blindside him... but scott's told michael who TOLD david about it and now david knows about it so the target is switched rn... Also more tea is that dani thought she was slick and told scott that she wanted to blindside felix along with scott, david, michael, some sweyn, and said ahrre would do whatever she said... what she said also insinuated that me, mo, and felix were on the bottom of our og tribe... guess she doesn't know that hoebi hears ALL things shady... looks like im flipping off of my og tribe for a 3rd org in a row ladies

im such a fucking mess.... but thank god i have rhys/jones/ryan pickin up the pieces and we still blindsidin.. ALMFJBG

GOD I HOPE ITS DANI THO IM DESPERATE FOR HER TO GO. and i wanna show michael u dont fucking throw me utb n get away with it.. i may be inbred but im not completely dumb n i have the social bonds to stay aMJFHBG

im so dumb like i deserve nothing good after this.

pleaseletmewinpleaseletmewinpleaseletmewinpleaseletmewinpleaseletmewin i w a n t t h i s

SO MUCH HAS BEEN GOING DOWN GUYS this tea is HOT SO since before the Wes vote, Felix, Mo, Tobi, Scooty, Ryan, Rhys and myself were planning on voting for David for the F11 vote - because he's a comp threat and seems pretty set on not flipping on OG Mercia BUT when Scooty was chit chatting with his Canute bff Michael, MICHAEL SPILLED THE BEANS and basically threw Scooty under the bus, so David found out about the plan! I had to play dumb when David asked me about it, and I told him I had no idea (and he totally fell for it >:3c), BUT Felix heard about it and went to Ryan and it became A [clap emoji] CLUSTER [clap emoji] FUCK [clap emoji x3] Scooty also got tea from Dani that she wants to flip the script on Felix with Scooty, me, David, Michael, and Ahrre (she said Ahrre would follow along with anything bc they're paranoid asf) - SO she basically layed out the Mercia tribe Dynamics and indirectly said that Mo, Felix, and Tobi were on the bottom. Which honestly we knew, but that works perfectly for us Sweyn ;) So after I cleared everything up with Felix that Scooty never spilled the beans to David and that Michael is a total snake, we were thinking about what to do next -And because David knows his name's been mentioned, we had to tread carefully. So then we thought,, why not use this paranoia to our advantage? We can make David feel like he's a target so they can possibly play an idol on him (which is a HUGE possibility) but in actuality,,, we're voting for Dani or Michael. It's pretty obvious to everyone that they're a really tight duo and it would be great if we could split them up now before they go far. Right now everyone would definitely prefer to vote Dani (and so would I) because apparently she's a possible comp threat, and also she's v messy so there's that. but if she possibly wins immunity then the vote's changing to Michael. As long as that duo breaks up then we're solid. BUT THAT'S THE TEA FOR NOW I'll try to make another confessional if my dumbass remembers to <3

So I didn’t win, which makes me sad but I did come in second place. Another good thing is that Jones won and I’m allies with Jones so I’m very happy about this. Overall I’m happy.

Hey ya boy is back now I'm gonna recap last week cause my flop ass forgot to do it as it happened. Basically I didn't win immunity which is good. Then I went take a poopoo and when I come back everyone is saying Wes, so hey guess I don't work this week, a nice change compared to the week jose went home.

As for Wes well he hadn't been the most active and I really didn't had a bond with him so that seemed as a convenient vote to me. Aparently he was also targetted cause he was one point away from winning immunity? idk how much of a factor that was but hey kids all the more of a reason to throw them early challenges.

Now talking about tribe lines I'm doing my job talking with the other guys and letting them know I'm willing to work with them. However I'm keeping my eyes on them, specially Scott who seemed to have charmed Michael and Dani in after having flipped on Malik. Add to that the connections he probably has with his OG tribe and make no mistake he could very well be in the best position in this game, which means I will probably have to take a shoot on him sooner or later.

Tobi could also be in a similar postion since the other guys saved him when they had a 4-1 tribe divition advantage, but idk how much was up to Tobi chatting them up instead of Madison being a liability, but I will also keep an eye in him.

Additionally Michael is def not fully in with the idea of staying og tribe strong, which is fair enough. But he also told me Felix told him last week he wanted david out next week, so that would basically be this week. So I'm gonna have to learn more about that, also I never knew who originally threw Wes's name out and no one seemed to know but something tells me Michael had something to do with that as well.

So all in all that's a bunch of stuff I'm gonna have to act upon while keeping a low profile, but hey lazy week was last week so it's not time to get confortable and sit around without doing anything.

sooo i came online today to some messiness lmao. apparently danielle/michael/david all found out about felix's plan, and michael went to Felix and basically threw Scott under the bus about it lmfao. and they want to pull in Ahrre + some Sweyns to flip it on Felix and uh.... yeah no afkdsf. i was able to get felix back on the right page and i think we're good to go him/Mo + Sweyns and blindside Danielle or Michael hehe, because felix thinks an idol could pop up or something idk

so the new plan is blindside miss dani.. thank god LMAOAOAA i been wantin her ass out forever and i wanna have michael stay shook bc if he thinks im gonna be loyal to him after this.. lmao

SHE SHOULDA JUST SAT THERE AND ATE HER FOOD INSTEAD OF SITTIN THERE SAYIN ‘OH I DONT WANNA DO WHAT IM TOLD’ LIKE BITCH. YES U WILL. OTHERWISE UR ASS IS GRASS. THANK U, NEXT.

Okay, so Jones won immunity. Great! Sweyn on the immunity train.

So David was the original plan. However scott went around trying to swing it to david to people who cant keep their gob shut. Michael went to tell David, and david has come full circle and started asking everyone if they had heard my name. So now The sweynians have tried to swing the vote on Dani. As its seen that her and Michael are a pair & Tobi finds Dani annoying.

So we are going to keep the facade that its still David and try to keep telling Michael its David etc and get votes on David. When in reality thats a big fat lie. And Dani should be getting votes.

So tonight the vote is very simple. To vote Ryan however the complication comes from whether or not I go with the og sweyns to blindside David in an attempt to really open the game up and have less of a tribe vs tribe dynamic. Also complicating matters is the fact scott wants me dani and David to form a voting block with Ahrre and someone else to really control this game. It seems to me that I need to really think about my decision.

they better make up their minds whether its me or ryan bc i aint agreeing to a 5th name this tribal LAMFJHFG

So all this is messy and I just start thinking, why don’t I flip like David’s a threat and it would open up the game 100% and also if it was just a case of David vs Ryan id vote ryan but I like Rhys so.

So a lot happened and now it’s rhys but I don’t want rhys I want ryan and with my crazy coo coo plan I hope that i get what I want bc that would be cute and like so unexpected and it would get the game to be opened up

im gunna fucking piss myself why are mercia SO DUMB!!! THEY WANNA SPLIT BETWEEN RYAN AND RHYS LMAOAOAOA LIKE HOW.. KILL ALL UR BONDS IDC!! ME AND JONES ARE BUSY CRYING LAUGHING BC THEYRE JUST SO FUCKING BAD AAAAAAAA

So I wake up to hear my name being throw around by my own og tribe... I love this tea soooo much... like in the end they settled for ryan but the fact that they have the audacity to put me up as an option AND THEN ask me for my vote... I have to laugh LKJHDFLJ I guess its time to flip the script!! Dani and Michael are coming up with this "genius" plan of splitting the votes between ryan and rhys because they think scott, jones, and I are with them... oh honey... they have a big storm comin... we're using this to our advantage to do a clean vote on Dani and take out one of them mofos... miss piggy gets revenge tonight

soo i came online to a whollllllle big ass mess lmao. Dani & Michael been scrambling to get out me or Rhys to save David and they have no idea they've dug themselves so far into a ditch.... it's scary knowing i'm gonna get votes but i feel confident that ppl have my back... i feel good that the Sweyns + Tobi + Felix will vote together to get Dani, and I just hope we've done a good job at making them not see it coming... but even if they do and an idol is played correctly by them, my idol 10000% is going to make an appearance hehehe

Hello here I am,, coming in clutch as the moodboard QUEEN. um,, thank god honestly. bc rn it seems like og Mercia wanted to just pick off Sweyn and I know for a fact David would've wanted to go for me first bc of Ko Chang (which btw, if you target people for past games, choke, it's a new game get over it sweaty c:) but yeah I'm glad I have immunity <3 thank god I ran a moodboard account over the summer teehee So yeah rn the Mercia group is a clusterfuck and I love it,,, I love watching the world burn yk? They really just,,, have no idea what they're doing. first they want to go for Scott, but apparenlty that's a cover and they're going for Ryan, THEN SCOTT KNOWS and they change the vote to Rhys, then they're splitting??? like??? hello????? y'all gotta make up your minds we've been planning on voting Dani out since before immunity came out. this couldn't have been easier honestly. I love this. THEN MICHAEL bless his heart I love him so fucking much but he really told me that David doesn't trust any of Sweyn and wants them out,, like,,, does he not realize,,,,,,,,,,,,,I'm from Sweyn. like,,, that makes me want to take you guys out even more. PLUS he's really digging his own grave when he says that Mo and Ahrre can do whatever they want and they don't matter like,, you don't give the people on the bottom leg room. that's really dumb I love Michael to death but he's doing this to himself rn but heres the rundown on what everyone on that side THINKS is happening - Michael, myself, Scooty, Dani and David vote for Ryan - Ryan and Rhys vote for David - and Mo, Ahrre Tobi and Felix do whatever the fuck they want/Rhys apparently. so that would be a 5/4/2 vote for Ryan. HERE'S WHAT'S ACTUALLY HAPPENING (or what I think is happening based on my sleuthing) - David Dani and Michael are voting for Ryan - Ahrre is voting for Rhys - and myself, Scooty, Ryan, Rhys, Tobi, Mo, and Felix are all voting for Dani. making it a 7/3/1 split. I really hate how cocky I sound rn but holy fuck Mercia really crumbled and I barely did anything except for keeping Sweyn/Felix/Mo/Tobi on my side. Thank god. plus with all of this info we gathered now it'll be a lot easier to pull in Ahrre so we can take out the rest of Mercia. see y'all at F10 <3

everyone in this game can stay shook sweyn is runnin this shit..

this is legit my gameplan. be a crazy ass bitch and be a mess and people will never vote ur ass cus they think ull lose in ftc LAMJFBFG

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OKAY. So lets catch up on the vote.

Originally sweyn was going for David. So Scotty was trying to get on it early and get people to swing to him. He told Michael. Michael tells David. David asks all of Sweyn if we heard his name.

We all regroup, and decide Michael or Dani is the best bet. As you know, snitches get stiches. Dani is Michaels ally and I have heard some people have been annoyed with her. So Dani is our new target. We have Tobi, Felix and Mo on board supposedly.

I continue the facade and talk to Michael and Dani about the vote with David. Inorder to keep David thinking its him. Going over whos voting who and blah blah.

Apprently the others, were going to go for Ryan. However Michael told Scotty about it being Ryan, when he was supposed to. This lead to Scotty telling Dani, who told David. So now *apprently* they think Ahrre told Scotty. So now I've been told the vote has been switched to me. But it may be split between me and Ryan.

So right now, I think Dani is going home, with a few votes on me or Ryan. However keyword being THINK. This could be completly a blindside on my half. Just gotta keep fingers crossed.

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Man, so tonight's tribal is gonna be crazy. I got my alliance of Felix, Michael, Danielle and myself voting for Rhys. And I'm gonna use my vote steal to steal Ahrre's vote since he considered himself the swing vote and I'm gonna vote Rhys again with it. If this plan works, Rhys goes home.

We've been telling everyone else that the vote is Ryan, so in case there's an idol being played on either Rhys or Ryan, the other one will hopefully go home.

Ok so a lot has been going on and I've got a big headache so lets just sum it all up.

1. Scott is a dangerous little fella aparently the entire Felix throwing David under the bus last week story was bs. 2. OG Sweyn are going after David. 3. David is going after rhys but he's telling me to vote ryan for some reason, I assume that's because someone leaked the ryan vote to Scott and for some reason he thinks it was me? Either way he's really risking it considering I'm not sure he even has majority, plus he's alienating my ass so I have no real reason to keep him if I survive this round.

Anyhow I'm paranoid now so wish me gl.

Danielle is voted out 7-2-2.

#episode #royallyyours

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dipdyedsilence-blog · 5 years

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Lolll why do i do this to myself

Hello im finna rant abt my night in an effort to get over it. So. Theres this dude lets call him alejandro. He is mighty. Fine. And one day he decided to put his phone number on my pizza box. I didnt recognize him at the time. This was in mid september. Its december 5 rn btw. Like when he put the number on the box, i hadnt seen his face but i was like. Ehhh lemme entertain the idea. Ok so i texted him right. He was funny and we small talked. Then he kept asking to meet up, and me being the weenie i was, i was hesitant nd would make excuses. So one day he just didnt respond anymore and i was like ok its chill. Bc i thought he just wanted a fuk and im not like that lol (hypocrite). Fast forward like at least 3 weeks later. (So me and my bff here would go get pizza at this place b4 our bio tests. So the first time i went nd got the # was before our 1st bio test. This fast forward is the day b4 the second bio test). So we go in nd get our pizza and we chillin. Btw i completely forgot abt this dude. Nd i didnt even know what he looked like so i didnt expect what came nxt. So i get up to get water and this low sexy ass voice comes up behind me and says my name. And me being dressed so gross look at him and am all confused and shi. He explains who he is and then im like oh fuk he actually hot lmfao lemme actually pay more attention (Shallow ik but it be like that). So im like fuk fuk he fine. He tells me that he lost his phone and so he lost my number or whatever. He is a fuk boy so i didnt trust anything he said to me and i still dont. But he asked for my number again. And i was like sure i got nothing else to do. So we talk and end up meeting up after his shift the next week on a tuesday i think. Its like 11 at night too and we go out. I looked good tbh and he just came from work. He was "nervous" or whatever lol and i still didnt believe him bc i know his type, aka saying anything to get in ur pants. But again, i was just being entertained by him and the idea of him. Bc have i mentioned that he is hot yet? Well yeah. Reason enough to entertain haha. Ok so anywayyy. He is like "i had a few drinks to loosen up a bit bc i am nervous and u r so beautiful" and i was like lol ok ma dood is rlly tryna get somewhere. I met him with no intention of having sex. So like i was just laughing everytime he would be like that. He was like i have a dog and that hooked me in. He was like "we can go to my apartment so you can meet him" and i was like uhh ok hahahhaha just cuz i wanted to see the dog. (Yes im big dumb ik but he seemed chill and i didnt think he would take advantage of me and anyway i know how to fight and wanted to see his dog). we went to the bar he works near cuz he said he wanted more drinks and he had to give some dude something. We were sitting at the bar and all of a sudden he gets a call from someone named "lola" with heart emojis and kissy faces. So im like uhhh tf lols. I make my friend call me and i change her name in my phone to "antonio" with the same emojis. And tell her to call me in 5 min. So when his chick called him he grabbed that hoe and silenced it and put it in his pocket. I ignored it bc i didnt want him to think i was looking. Then she kept calling until he said he needed to take it and he went outside. So when he got back i got my friend to call me. When the "antonio" pulled up on my phoen i turned it around real fast and put my phone away. I didnt know if he saw it but i felt content. (Petty i know). We kept talking like normal, no mention of two names. So we finally got in his car to go see the doggo after an hourish. Side note. So he wanted to fuk me. I could tell very clearly. But i still said no. He asked to kiss me in the car and lemme tell you. This man KNOWS how to fuking kiss. Dam. He asked me and i was like ok then do it. And ugh worst choice of my life bc i literally dream of his kisses. Ok so we drove to his appt. He was tugging on me, pulling me by my jeans belt loops to his actual door step when we got there. Fuking hot af. Dam. And he was just being so sexy the entire night it took so much to be controlled. On the way to drop me off i asked him if he had a gf. And he was like no. And he asked me the same thing and i said no too. Then i said dontchu lie to me. And he was like u either. Then i wAs like im not lying. THEN HE ASKS "WHO IS ANTONIO THEN" and im laughing inside bc im like this bich rlly saw after less than a second of it pulling up on my screen. So i ask "who is lola" then we both just sit there. I couldnt say antonio was a lie bc technically i was talking to a guy named antonio we just werent official. But ok so that was the intro to that whole issue. Later when he was dropping me off...( we stayed in the appt for like 20 min btw, i saw the dog and we brought him with us and he changed bc he smelt like pizza from work) so he parked his car and basically we made out for hours in the trunk of his car. Again. Great . Kisser. And so am i hehe so it was fun. Ok so the next couple of days we hung out doing the same thing for hours and on that thursday we went out out. Aka. I got dressed up and we got drinks. He is older too so he bought me drinks and i got tipsy. He was smoking he hotboxed his car like a stupid when we were parked. The security guards showed up and asked if everything was good and they smelled the goods and i got so scared lol bc i was drunk and there were the goods on school property. But it was all ok thankfully they just asked us to move. So he moved and we didnt go to that spot again. But when he dropped me off he was lying to me. He told me he didnt have a gf but he was still doing gf things with lola. I told him i didnt care as long as he was honest. But he was lying so i got annoyed and left the car. He pulled me to come back in but i didnt let him. I went to austin that weekend so i didnt talk to him then. So i texted him bc i was in a mood and wanted to kiss him bc its addicting and we hang out that next week. Same thing. We park the car. Make out intensley in the back of his car. Get near sex but never there bc i dont trust the dude that much. THEN WEDNESDAY WHEN WE HUNG OUT. WHEN HE DROPPED ME OFF. HE HAD THE AUDACITY TO TELL ME NOT TO CATCH FEELINGS WHICH MADE ME MAD. SO I LEFT. By this time we had talked abt my view on relationships. He knew i didnt want one and that i just liked kissing him. Plus i knew that he had lola nd i am not in the buisness of competing for a relationship i dont even want. I just liked him for sex things, in no way did i want more. Which he knew bc everytime we hung out we would make out yeah, but also talk bout shit. He told me that lola apparently thought they were dating just cuz she assumed so but he nvr asked her out or to be gf Nd bf so he didnt consider them exclusive but he didnt want to tell her upfront bout me to spare her feelings. (Stupid logic. Ik) but imo. He digs his own grave, if he doesnt mind being in that complicated position, imma use him for his good kissing nd buying me things. :). Ok so that wednesday he said that shit to me was halloween btw. That thursday i textd him to hang bc. Well yanno. He told me he was busy but he would let me know.ME BEING A DUMB ASS WAITED FOR HIM. But to no avail. He didnt text me back and i felt like shit. So i made my friends go out with me and i drank nd danced my sadness away. Fast forward a week later. Since he didnt text me that night i was like fuck it im not texting him nd he obvi didnt text me like the lil shit he is. Then a week later i get a mf text. from LOLA. She is like. " hi im alejandros gf and incase u dont belive me here are pics, i just wanna know what u guys did" nd i was like lmfao dafuq. She sent me actual pics of them nd i was like uhhh ok sis this is so randome, i hadnt talked to him for a week by that time nd i thought i wouldnt talk to him again. I texted her back saying sorry nd tat i didnt kniw they were dating dating bc he nvr said that. Had i known they were exclusive i wouldnt have messed with him. I responded nd she blocked me? After she saud it was ok or whatever. I didnt say abything rude so idk y i got blocked but anyway. I figured she blocked me on his phone too just cuz thats what she seemed like she would do. Even tho i wasnt gunna text him lol i didnt feel comfy seeing him again anyway plus he told me he was going to europe soon anyway so i wasnt concerned with talking to him at all. Fast forward a lot more to yesterday. December 4. More than a month after i last talkedto him. I thought he was in europe. I was straight chillin. Got finals this week. I went to the coffee shop i always go to.( Which happens to b right by the pizza place but again i thouggt he was GONE GONE and didnt expect to see him ever again tbhh. He made it sound like he wouldnt come back from europe So i knew what we had was a fling which is what i had wanted. I just wanted it to last longer than 2 weeks which was why i was a lil upsetty when he hadnt answered me that thursday.) So im working with my friend carter and im talking bout our oral final then i see alejandro walk in nd talk to the coffee shops owner who i had known was his friend but alejabdro dont like coffee so i double nvr thought id see him in the coffee shop. I literally panicked bc i hate suprises like this. I literally knew he was there but didnt say shit to him. I kept working with carter and when he walked out ( since i was sitting by the door already) i looked up at my friend but didnt make eye contact with alejandro. But he saw me for sure and he slowed down a bit too but didnt say shit. I was meeting my girl squad at the coffee shop later anyway so to see what happened i suggested we all get pizza and split it before we started working. So we went in and i was nervous as fuking heck so idk why i even suggested going there. But anyway. Lemme give names to the two girls out of squad who are the most relevant for the story. We got amy (who i changed contacts name to antonio. She is my bff here) and claire who is one of my better friends too and had known abt my situation with alejandro but who has never seen him in person like any had. (Amy was with me the night he put the number on the pizza box and the other night i saw him for the first time). Ok soooooo he brought my friends our pizza when it was done but i completely ignored him and didnt make eye contact bc im a lil bich haha. And i was tryna avoid him. He literally was staring at my friends. At me. Bc i was facing away from him (thank god) and everytime id look to the side to claire to talk i saw him there just watching me. I needed to refill my water so i waited till he wasnt leaning against the wall staring until i made a run to the water machine. So i run there fill my water and all of a sudden i hear his deep sexy voice. (Fuk i had missed it lmfao). He is like "i get out at 9 can we talk i want to explain it to you. Me and lola had a big falling out and i want to talk to you abt it" i was like fuk fuk. Amy was there and amy dont like alejandro no more bc she thinks he a cheater so i was scared at what she would do to me if i went bc she is very agaisnt him now. But either way i said yes bc i wanted closure and im adumb bich. So i kinda nodded and walked back to my seat. I had drinken regular milk at the coffee shop earlier and im lactosentolerant lols and since i was already hella nervous i had an awful stomach ache so i decided to go to my room. He literally ran after me and was like "yo can we please hang today like i missed you" (lol right) and i was like yes we can whatever blah blah blah. Amy ran after me to see if i was ok and i was like ya im fine. So i met with him later. He picked me up and we went to the bar and drank some. And smoked some. Then went to his appt. I told him from the begining no sex again. And tbh i thought he stopped talking to me after halloween bc i didnt wanna have sex with him. Even tho that thursday i texted him, i was literally planning on doing it but he didnt text me back. So. Anywayyy we went to his appt he explained his fuk up. We had a freaking great time. And i literally hate it bc he knows what to do to me and its amazing. We were supposed to hang out today too but he never called me. And i would have texted him but my number is still blocked in his phone. Either he is stupid and didnt undo it on accident ( which i think is more likely bc he said he wanted to see me again and how amazing i am and blah blah blah) or maybe he just dont want me anymore lmfao. Either way. I wanted to see him today and im big upset that he is a lil shit bc i want my mf fling and to get attention in that way. So yeah. He is still a great kisser. And he leaves for europe on the 16th and my surgery is on the 18th and i cant kiss no one or have sex for a long ass time after that how so i wanna fuk around while i can yanno. Esp with him. So idk what imma do. Uhm yeah. Also he literally shows up again in my life when im just over it or when im super horny. And idk why tf this happens. It makes me so mad bc its awful timing and im just pulled right back in. At least on the 16th im saying bye forever and thats great. Ok story over if i remember more i will update. :)))))

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atomicsurvivor-isleofskye · 6 years

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Ep. 10 - “bananas...... will that help?” - Vi

https://atomicsurvivor-isleofskye.tumblr.com/post/169206214901/individual-immunity-5-counting

i am so happy my alliance of 5 is sticking together and im so happy i didnt leave yet bc that wouldve been my worst org placement and ali and jay are super fun but at the end of the day its just a game anyway!!

This challenge looks very annoying, but as long as neither rebecka or tara win I can have my pick of who to bring with me. Ive convinced Ain to tell Rebecka about the Tara plan, because if I had to pick I’d prefer Rebecka to win, and shes more likely to with motivation.

I NEED to win this immunity so I dont get in the middle of this rebecka vs tara thing. I do NOT want to be getting votes just because rebecka/tara have immunity. can my comp flop loser ass win something??? thanks

People finally realize I'm a threat? Wow took them long enough. Got 2 votes, was fun. I laughed a lot. Heather is such a good sport. I wish everyone else was too. She's great. Also this challenge is so terrible. I hate counting. I can barely count past 100 on a good day. It gets boring real fast. I'll pull an allnighter to get ahead since I gotta babysit tomorrow. Welp fill you in later. ;)

Tbh this vote and tribal was a very messy one for me and I hope I can win immunity and continue to do that until FTC if not I’m probably out this game and can’t waut to see the people of the jury not because they’re my friends or anything im responsible for most of them being there but because that means I can just chill and talk about what happened and not really plan and scheme

Tara got so mad at me because I wouldn’t throw the comp to her because she feels like she’s in danger (which she is. Stephen wants her out and is picking rebecka over tara since Tara told Stephen she was paranoid about a f2 between rebecka and I) idk it just made me upset that she would ask me to throw it like that after I put in so much effort. And she even deleted me from Skype when I wouldn’t give her my hidden immunity idol immediately!!!! She needs to chill. When she acts like this I’m tempted to blindside her after all. But I remember she’s like my bff and I couldn’t do that to her

Vi out here talking about loving fire how to remove jaws and her pet snake waaaay to much imma need her to go Issa no from me nope nope gotta go nope

I found the dragon but I was too late

https://atomicsurvivor-isleofskye.tumblr.com/post/169245494531/immunity-results

Ain wins immunity.

I DID THAT I WON IMMUNITY IM NOT A COMP FLOP SUCK IT!!!!!!!!

Tara didn’t win immunity so things will hopefully go as planned, apart from being blinsided the biggest risk in this vote is coming off as a serial backstabber. I’ve got to be careful, and precise in how I speak, so that in ftc they respect my choices as gameplay, not a reflection on my character

Ain won immunity ugggh.. why did this hav to happen she already thinks she’s running the Gabe now she has this I like her but I want her out the game more and more everyday she’s good and gonna get me if I don’t get her first

Ok Ali, let me fill you in my good man! So the game right now is kinda a mess. Everyone wants to make big moves while they have the numbers. Tara wants Rebecka gone because she's sus about a Becka and Ain final 2. Stephen wants Tara gone because Tara is sus about us and is worried she might flip. Rebecka is saying we should stick to the 5 (me, rebecka, tara, stephen, vi) and vote Aundra. Aundra is dying to vote Stephen out and honestly? SAME! Vi is down for anything. Jake...... is Jake. And that's what you missed Ali!

I'm GOING TO NUT!!! STEPHEN WANTS TO GET REBECKA OUT TOO!!!!! I'm so happy I won immunity and I get to enjoy this :). Welcome to the party Stephen, you're late sweaty.

*INCITES DRAMA BETWEEN REBECKA AND STEPHEN* IM SCREAMING NOW REBECKA IS GUNNING FOR HIM

howdy yall!!!!!!! bec here. Comin atcha with another confessional!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POy09x79WRk So I'm always on the wrong side of blindsides and stuff so itll be SUPER funny reading this after the game ends considering im probably gonna end up out the door at the end of the night tomorrow!!! LOL!!! Stephen's playing a messy social game (think himilayas 2.0) messaging tara to try to vote me out, and messaging me and ain trying to get us to vote tara out, and im just like https://i.imgur.com/cw9Dhs2.jpg HEHE so basically now its me and ain, and tara, and maybe aundra (Hi bb!!! haven't messaged you at all probably lol whoops sorry didnt do that on purpose i literally am just a mess LOL lets be friends after this game and i hope i can trust u this week!!! hehe) tryna vote out stephen, but stephen thinks its ain and i voting tara out, and tara and jake and aundra voting me out LOLOLOL hehe i have no clue what the eff is gonna happen tomorrow night but im sure it wont be fun!!! :) :) :)

So I had me heart set on blindsiding Tara but then she had to go and play nice. Which meant I had to take a big risk and start drama. By saying that Rebecka, Ain, and I had a f3 deal I convinced her to start planning for a Rebecka blindside. Once she did I went to Ain and told him she was planning it, and to cover my bases I said she was trying to portray me as the mastermind behind it. So now we’re all at each others throats again, and I can hopefully pull this off.

Stephen is trying to get Rebecka and Me to vote Tara while everyone else votes Rebecka......... I appreciate the drama, the Big Move™, but he needs to be less messy about it.

So I don’t know what is going on but I’m pretty sure the survivor gods hate me, ironically. So everything was looking fine all we had to do was get Vi on board but apparently she was found something in the moors, she can’t say what but she seems confident that any attnept to vote Tara out will fail. Theres two possibilities here, one shes lying to save Tara, in which case we have to pull Jake and/or Aundra to get majority, or what she found protects Tara outright, in which case we’re screwed.

So this really is a confession. *cough Uh I was trying to get Stephen to not vote Tara by hinting at her having an idol. Somehow that completely backfired and made him think I had a disadvantage from the moors. Long story short he thinks the word vote is the trigger that I can’t reveal info and so he switch to using the word “banana”. Um as you can imagine, I died laughing. Was worth. Sorry Stephen but I took it and ran. If I get backstabbed it’s worth it. Here let me put a single statement he said out of many for you to understand. “but regardless if I pull Jake and/or Aundras..... bananas...... will that help?” *coughs violently Yeah sorry...

hello! sorry for the lack of updates i've just been super super busy. basically i've been trying my best to turn ain against rebecka, not that well tbh but shes promised to vote her out this vote lol fdskf, ain leaks everything to rebecka which is rly bad for my game tbh bcos it exposes how close me n ain are! i also tried to get a feel for how close stephen was to rebecka whilst i could let my immunity let me b messy n he basically leaked everything to ain it was p iconic LOL um so ya n then stephen planned to vote me out, but no one wanted to! hehe so he comes to me and says that he thinks i'm right about rebecka n tries to get me to vote her out LMAO but then apparently it didn't go how he wanted so he went back to rebecka and ain and tried to get them to vote out me again n its all p iconic bcos we're all sending eachother stephens messages n catching him out on his lies. i would LOVE to vote stephen out just to see the look on his face when me n rebecka receive ZERO votes (apart from maybe one from him) so he can realise he fricked up! unfortunately, bcos rebecka is so close to ain i think this might be the only opportunity to vote her out. n then i can make aundra super happy and vote out stephen next time! i think me and aundra are getting really close which i'm really glad about because aundra just seems to be a free vote lol fdbksf but hes also really fun to talk to. he also doesn't like ain(in a game way) which tbh is great bcos ain is winning! and if i got ot f3 with ain and aundra i could rely on aundra to try win immunity and take me to f2 yas! i finally have a plan.

This game is cancelled I’m over it can’t wait for everyone to get voted off I really wish it was final 2 and I was winning or I was getting voted out or something idek this games sooo stressful and it feels somewhat dragged out but that could be because I’m playing with like the messiest people ever and a power hunger associate but who knows

https://drive.google.com/open?id=1r6ao_imaUBfYKPxoLg614vW___nlTK9P

So Vi has been far too vague, and Ain and Rebecka are looking more and more vague. It is risky to keep people like Aundra and Jake in becuase they might want me out, but its riskier not knowing how things will be affected by Vi. So I’m voting Rebecka. This affects my plan a little, next vote I’ll feel out Ain, see if we can work together and take out Tara, if not she’s gone. Then we vote out Aundra. Then Tara hopefully. Drama Drama Drama.

well folks, it sucks to be the last Saorsa peep left, considering im not social with some of these Iolaire it looks like my path to victory is quite skerewed, some may wonder though, if i fear safety why not try in immunity? because i dont think im in any particular danger, at this point im just a number/goat from many pov's so they wont bother with me, am i using this to my advantage? yes i mean im the last player in game to recieve no votes, so i at least am outwitting

Ugh I have no idea whats best for my game right now, I’ve flipped back to voting Aundra

https://atomicsurvivor-isleofskye.tumblr.com/post/169285851851/merge-tribal-5

Rebecka voted out 5-1-1-1.

#ALostPuppyDog #episodes

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survivorkvaloya · 7 years

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Episode #6: “Someone's About To Get Torn To Shreds” - Liam

Okay heyyyy so I'm back off reflection island. And I was SHOOK watching that tribal. Andreas blindsided?? For some reason?? Apparently it was Chelsea's idea but also apparently Chelsea and Jackson wanted to throw the challenge bc they wanted me on their tribe so that's cute! Immediately when I went back I rekindled my relatonships with Danielle and Jackson. I told Jackson about my idol piece, and he told me the location of another one in case i need it. so now I just needa get to Quillynn if I ever need an idol hehe. ANYWAY. I've been back for like?? Half an hour?? AND I ALREADY MADE A MAJORITY ALLIANCE WITH CHELSEA AND JACKSON I'm truly doing that. Plus I have good relations with Danielle, who is now on the outs bc she's the last mentor and was close to Andreas, and I'm not very close to Lauren but I know her so I don't think she'd murder or target me outright. OKAY I FEEL BETTER ABOUT THIS TRIBE. I got to relax and take a break on reflection, get another idol piece, and was automatically placed into a majority on the tribe I landed on. I truly did that. How iconic!

TEA TIMEEEEEE.

So after Andreas went home, I immediately went to Jackson and asked what happened. He said he panicked cause that was the only name he heard. Now Danielle is saying that that's false.... Hmmm. Someone's about to get torn to shreds this week.

ya my student is playing a LOT of angles in this game and he got the clue from danielle and found it the next day and he hasn't told me about it. i'm glad i've been telling him everything but i still have my few secrets

Hello! And welcome to one of those times that lily decides to write a confessional. In this edition I just wanna say this challenge sucks. I feel bad for the whole group here. Trivia sucks. Double tribals sucks. But we will power through! I'm headed to Indianapolis as we speak. So far I've seen some corn and had McDonald's #ilykai . My beautiful light pink wig is sitting beside me as it bears this trip with me. So I'm in this dope alliance chat with QuilLynn, willow, Lauren, and Christine. We are called the rice girls because we formed during the rice challenge. (Did I already talk about this? Maybe yes I did oh well I've already typed it) moving on, we all had a great discussion about the last tribal. I was freaking out because I thought Lauren might be in trouble. She wasn't....but hopefully t gained me trust within the group that I really care about them. I think it was also a warning to Lauren that I really did hear these things. Chelsea told me everyone was mad at Lauren about the challenge. And Jackson told me that he thinks Lauren has an idol piece. Lauren told me she doesn't. Which is honestly fine I wouldn't expect anyone to share that kind of info unless if they really needed to. And she really might not have it. There are a lot of things out there with everyone lying about having one or not. I really love talking to Jackson! He is great with conversation loves Disney and has a lot of smart ideas as far as strategy goes. But I just can't tell if he really wants to work with me. I think he is a good person to have around but he could ended up hurting me in the end. Honestly I'm not sure. I just hope I can make it to merge and deal with it all then. That's okay....right? Yeah probably not but it's hard to predict what's gonna go on in this game. Too many twists sigh...of my tribe loses this challenge my guess is we would take Liam out but honestly who knows what could happen. I just know Liam doesn't want to work with me at all. He never messaged me back. Honestly kinda made me sad.... well Liam if you are reading this hi we can still be friends. You are probs really cool! I hope we get to know each other better.

Well, I've tried as hard as I can to work my social game, now let's see if it pays off! Jack was my closest thing to a definite vote, but maybe if I can flip Willow and Gage to thinking that us mentors need to stick together soon, we'll have a fighting chance..

Liam y u no message me back? 😢 I gotta vote for you and I know you are probably voting for me. Which I guess is fine but damn what the HECKIE

i reallly don't have a confessional but i don't want a pentalty vote so here it is

Okay so this season already seems like game changers where big threats are being taken out immediately, so it seems like my lay low strategy is paying dividends at the moment. Liam better go home tonight but if we merge after this I'm scared because I don't know if I can get into a majority alliance come merge

Hi I'm Jackson and this is my fourth confessional. This is my fourth time at tribal. I'm a little salty to be going (because I felt like I did pretty good in that jeopardy challenge, it just so happened to be the one week where it was a double tribal), but the voting is going to be pretty straightforward, I think. Lauren should be going home. She's not a very active player but she makes me nervous. She has ORG experience, so I don't want to underestimate her. Danielle is on board (she's probably pretty nervous tonight tbh considering how many mentors go home. But hopefully this will cement our bond), and Colin has formed a strong alliance with me and Chelsea, so he's cool with it too. Colin is the decoy - he's who we're telling Lauren to vote. The other tribe going to tribal is what makes me nervous. One of my closest allies, Lily, could be in trouble. The main outcast on that tribe, Jack, is on reflection island, which means Lily could be the next to go. If she wasn't currently at a convention IRL, I'd feel a little safer, as she could throw Liam under the bus and hopefully get Willow and Gage on board to vote him. But the mentors are probably feeling a little nervous about how many of their kind have been voted out. The (albeit false) prospect of a Newbies Alliance might push them to vote out the only newbie on their tribe right now. If only Lily would respond to my messages. As for idol pieces, things aren't great. Colin found another on Reflection (which rocks), so with Chelsea's piece, we should have three in total. But she gave hers to Quillynn without telling me! Which was pretty stupid. Because there's no guarantee Quillynn will give it back and Chelsea is too nervous to ask. I went hunting for that 5-digit code (which I found after two hours), but someone had already gotten it. I'm thinking it was probably Lily, which is irritating, because she's probably about to get voted out. Which is why I want to talk to her!! Ugh!! Okay, I need to get going. Let's hope there's a merge after this I guess? I'm tired of this tribe setup. Byeeee

Okay ugh back to tribal. I got a couple rounds off but now it's back to the game. A five person tribe going to tribal is already scary enough, but there's been more than enough rounds for a couple idols to be made so that's also incredibly scary. I have a majority alliance with Chelsea and Jackson but I'm trying to keep my communication super open with Danielle so that she trusts me and doesn't try anything funny. I have like no working game relationship with Lauren so I want her gone. Jackson and Chelsea want Lauren out too? perfect! She gon' be gone! I gave Chelsea and Jackson permission to use me as a decoy name to give to Lauren which could backfire, but I need to show that I trust them and it makes sense since I was on reflection island last round. They both know I have two idol pieces but hopefully with how open I'm being with them they won't try to take me out because of it. The only thing that could backfire is once they bring my name up to Lauren if she makes a good enough case to actually convince them to vote me out, even though that seems pretty unlikely. I'm not doing much in this game. I'm playing strictly socially and not strategically. Also I'm ruining my record and I should be getting a vote put on me tonight, the first one all season, even if this is like my 4th or 5th tribal. Iconic! But yeah, Lauren is probably going. That's that on that! Hopefully she doesn't play anything! Also hopefully merge is after this double tribal!

hello hi sup so basically i've been doing nothing in this game mainly because i found my ride or dies: quillynn, lauren, colin and trixie. i have danielle, my lovely mentor and her bff ryan on my side too so im not all that worried for the future. with this win in jeopardy i think i just secured my spot on merge which is really hype but who knows?? anything can happen really! i love danielle and im so grateful for everything she has done for me and i hope we get to work together at merge! i dont think i'd be able to win this game bc i have literally done nothing at all so i guess we will see what happens!

bye lauren, didn't wanna vote ya but y'know! hopefully liam leaves tonight too hehe

So jeopardy was fun! Me and Ryan killed it and are avoiding tribal which means I'll at least get to tie my Sri Lanka placement! On the other side of things, I got closer to Ryan and told him about my idol piece since it's obvious one of us were gonna get one this round. He also let me know about the ones people might've gotten...one of them including my dear student Lauren. I can't really complain cause I haven't told her about mine but it's good to know. If she survives this maybe her, me, Ryan and Jackson can work together. Recently I've been kinda scared cause the mentors keep leaving so hopefully the double doesn't continue that pattern.

I am dominating this game. Muahaha. My student loves me. I love them. I am winning this game for my besties Mitchell and Rob! (This was from TS alum Rob)

Lmao so since Jack got sent to Reflection Island we only have a 4 person tribe now, and I thought 5 person tribes weren't fun but oh boy 4 person tribes are even worse. So of course I'm forced to do jeopardy since Lily is on vacation, and Liam is working all the time. And just in general I'm a flop at jeopardy so fun times, and I got Gage negative points in jeopardy oops. Anyway Liam thinks I'm with him and hes offering me a place in the majority alliance or whatever bc they need more mentors. Like yeah he has a point that its been a mentor going home besides the first vote but I don't think theres an all student alliance I just think its been a coincidence or whatever. Also the idea of there having been a majority alliance since like the 2nd round is really dumb like they're just gonna self destruct and I'm gonna sit watching with my popcorn ready. So it should be Liam going home tonight unless they're trying to pull a blindside but I'm fine with him leaving tbh bc hes kinda inactive and really power hungry. Also I'm really really hoping for a merge soon since its a double tribal.

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