#and DO YOU KNOW how fucking rare it is to find a cat I dont have to travel like 3+ hours just to meet

[toerrishumansodontbeone]

gee it sure would be nice to have a cat.................. .....

#im just #so fucking frustrated #the local animal shelter fucking hates me for being a poorly speaking immigrant so im basically forever barred from showing my face there:) #and DO YOU KNOW how fucking rare it is to find a cat I dont have to travel like 3+ hours just to meet #thats a whole fucking day n I dont have a whole lot of days that are 100% free #and OF COURSE im too late on all the fancy cats #theyre just now already selling off their last batches of kittens Y_Y #theres only so many in my area #mad bcus the one cat that was actually up for grabs in my city I didnt immediately inquire abt #n now the lady ofc isnt answering me so I fear he has probably been claimed too #I dont like juggling so many things all at once ughhhhh im so tired #vermin chat

[weirdplutoprince]

Cat now you have to share your favorite vilainess isekais the people need to know

GOD ok hmmmmm. In no particular order but here are my favourites and its strongest qualities:

Beware of the villainess

Pros: Very funny, sympathetic to original female lead and villainess alike. Very self aware and critical of common tropes of the genre, specially regarding shitty male leads. Rare example of non subservient maid as well. Can't miss it with this one.

Cons: Male lead is boring and a bit annoyingly protective. I wish it was yuri. At least he's pathetic so there is that. Only character of colour is an agressive werewolf iirc so not great.

2. Death is the Only Ending for the Villainess

Pros: Condemns shitty male leads, very sympathetic to the original villainess. Very cathartic in the 'shaming your abusive family' way. Good kind of pain and suffering. I find it very satisfying.

Cons: I don't like any of the male leads. Theres a yandere-esque guy, which is game ending for me but maybe not for you so, eh.

3. Milady just wants to relax

Pros: Very satisfying and pleasant to read. She's fairly self sufficient at the start, and it avoids having the guys constantly rescue her. It's been a while so I dont rememeber details, but I gave it a high grade. Male leads have very fun furry designs.

Cons: Male leads have very lame human designs. They start doing annoying things like picking her up randomly later on. I dont know how it ends.

4. The Villainess Reverses the Hourglass

Pros: Great revenge story. Main character is actually a villainess and gets to do shady, fucked up things. I don't hate the male lead. I personally find her very cute and I like inherent tragedy of her relationship with her evil ass sister.

Cons: I dont have a problem with that personally but her revenge has basically no bad consequences for her so dont expect this kind of depth. Still think its cool.

5. I Became the Stepmother of An Irrevocable Dark Family

Pros: This one is kinda mid actually and I only read the novel BUT it has my favourite mother and child relationship in these. I found the kid genuinely very cute and endearing.

Cons: The guy is a fucking idiot and it has one of the most convoluted, stupid isekai reasons I have ever seen to justify that.

6. I want to be you, Just for a day

Pros: Focused on the female lead and villainess and their deeply complicated relationship. Sympathetic to both of them and actually bothers with their feelings and struggles inherent to their positions. Revenge story. Very intense but cool.

Cons: Really dark in terms of abuse, violence etc. I don't know if the shitty male lead guy is end game or not so beware.

I like some others but they're not villainesses or at more mid so. There you go.

#asks #falando #isekai posting #shoujo posting #recs

[weskin-time]

Hi Tezi :) this is my first time requesting something, how are you doing?

I was wondering if you could write a little scenario about Carlos being Jealous. He probably doesn't get jealous too often/fast so I imagine it's a little slow burn like. I dont care if you make it angsty or fluffy or nsfw or all at once.

Idk, do whatever you want with this :) thanks and have fun!

Hi anon! i’m doing the best i can be doin!!! i hope you like this, i feel it’s not my best work but i do like how it turned out! sorry for the wait!!! i love writing for Carlos so much, and this wasn’t an excuse to talk about my favorite dog breed.

not beta read. slight nsfw mention?

Jealous!Carlos x GN!Reader

this is probably the fluffiest thing i’ve ever written

carlos isn’t the type of man to get extremely jealous.

he trusts you and the relationship you have

he’s not the type of guy to hide his phone or make you block people he doesn’t want you talking to

he trusts you

he will ask you to read the text he just got if he’s doing something that can’t let him check his phone

he has no issues with you hanging out with other people regardless of sex

i’m trying to drive the point as hard as i can

you two have an extremely healthy relationship where you two communicate and rarely argue

you didn’t even know he could get jealous

that is until,,,

Carlos moved into your place a while back, his apartment too small to house two people, life with him has been nice. The two of you were slowly leaving the honeymoon phase of a relationship and were just two people existing in the same space together, two people that happened to be in love with each other so much that you both talked about it for months and you two were finally ready to enter the next stage of yalls relationship.

It was a tough choice, months of talking and deciding, sleepless nights spent searching, till the two of you came to a conclusion. Soon another member would join your unit, making it feel more like a family. Months were spent preparing for the change, toys, food, everything was bought and ready for when the time would come.

The two of you walked in through the door of your home holding a tiny bundle of joy. It wiggled in your arms, it’s eyes wide taking in the new surroundings.

For being a puppy the dog was already huge. She was a Irish Wolfhound, a massive dog breed, one that you’ve always wanted since you were a child, and with Carlos’s support you were finally in a place in your life where you could have the massive dog of your dreams. It took forever for the two of you to find the breed to settle on for your first dog together, you suggested the breed jokingly explaining how you’ve always wanted one and soon Carlos looked into them and fell in love with them too.

So here you were, brining this dream dog into your home. It felt surreal to have something you’ve wanted since childhood, to look down and see the girl excited in your arms, to look back and see Carlos carrying a large bag of puppy food over his shoulder. Needless to say you were fucking ecstatic.

After settling down a tad you let the puppy run around the house to explore, under supervision of course. You bounced off names with Carlos, thinking of names that would better suit a cat or names that just sounded stupid, none of them stuck really.

You couldn’t leave the puppy alone, you were instantly attached to her. The entire day you played with her, cuddled up to her, and just kept your eyes on her, she was one of the best things you could have ever gotten. Her kisses made you giggle, the stomping outside as you tried to get her used to a leash early on, she would flop around and slide across the floors on her big paws. The two of you instantly formed a bond meanwhile she seemed to be indifferent about your boyfriend, which made you laugh.

Carlos for the entire day seemed thrilled at the beginning, but by the night he seemed a little disgruntled. He almost seemed a little withdrawn and slightly annoyed at the dog as the sun set, the opposite of you.

Thankfully the puppy was tired out enough to be put in her crate for the first night with no problems, she was fast asleep in that floppy way only puppy’s can get, the way you wish you could sleep.

Settling down for bed you noticed Carlos’s distance for the first time that night, he barley spoke to you and you were extremely confused when he turned over on his side to face away from you in bed.

“Los?” You whispered knowing he was awake.

he gave a grunt back in response.

“You feelin okay?” You pondered trying to think of ways he could be down in the dumps. You have no idea how he could be upset when there’s a damn puppy in your house that you can go pet at any time.

“Just tired.” He was curt with his words.

You wracked your brain trying to find any information on why he could be this way, not trusting his defense for a second. Then it clicked. He had to be jealous of the new dog. The entire day since you got home with her your mind has been on her, taking photos and videos, laughing, playing with her, the most you’ve done with Carlos today was try to figure out a name for her. When your boyfriend was making dinner you barely spoke to him as you left him in the house alone as you played outside with your girl. You felt like laughing a bit, he never gets jealous over people but a dog stealing his attention takes the cake. You smiled and poked his shoulder to make him role over.

After a few seconds of poking him he turned to lay on his back with a sharp ‘what’. Before he could even process it you slithered your way under the covered to lay on his chest, your hips slotted between his legs as you looked up at him. Your boyfriend seemed to relax a tad with your touch, he always loved physical contact with you even if he was being a jealous dork at the moment.

“Are you jealous of the puppy?” You smile at him sweetly to try and convey that it’s okay if he feels that way.

He’s silent for a second, seemingly weighing the options of telling you the truth or lying again. He sighed and wrapped his arms around you, “No.” He spoke with a small smile on his face. “Why would I be jealous of a tiny baby dog? I’m so much cooler than a dog to get jealous.”

“You’re still my favorite puppy.” Reaching up your hand to run your fingers through his hair, you failed to hold in the small laugh at the instant blush on his face.

“Shush it.” was all the warning he gave you before he rolled the two of you over, now he lay on your chest, his full weight on your bones was comforting.

You chuckled as he buried his face in the crook of your neck. It was your turn to wrap your arms around him, your dominant one going back to rub his head.

“Sorry for acting like a dick over this dog.” He mumbled.

“It’s alright Carlos don’t worry. Don’t apologize for getting jealous.” It was sorta your fault for almost ignoring him the whole day to a degree.

“No, you were so happy to get this dog. You’ve wanted it all your life and here I am being a dick about it.”

You stopped messing with his soft hair and gave him a massive squeeze to the best of your ability in the position you’re in.

“You’re a dork Carlos, not a dick. It’s okay to be jealous if a dog is taking the attention away from my other dog.”

He playfully bit your neck lightly and made a little woof sound. “I love you. I’m sorry for being shitty today.”

“I love you too Carlos, it’s alright don’t worry. it’s kinda cute if you get this clingy after so maybe i should make you jealous more often.” you chuckled.

A whimper could be heard from across the bedroom followed by a yip and a growling.

“She’s awake.” Captain obvious on your chest stated.

“Let’s take her out yea? Think of names while we’re out there too.” You offered.

Carlos pressed a tender kiss to your pulse and got off you, you got out of bed as he made his way over to her crate and kneeled down.

“You gotta go outside Princess?” He asked, the grey puppy cocked her head at him and wagged her tail. “Let’s go sweetheart, come on.”

“If you keep talking to her like that maybe it’ll be my turn to get jealous.”

#tezi post #ask! #resident evil #resident evil x reader #resident evil imagine #carlos oliveira #carlos oliveria x reader #carlos oliveira headcanons #carlos oliveira imagine

[teddybeartoji]

MICKEY i am jumping out of the blanket fort excitedly <333 this is so long overdue bc ive been too excited to sit down and think abt the Vamps properly BUT it’s finally time.. this is just going of ur most recent rb abt them btw which was . a While ago IVE BEEN THINKING OF IT CONSTANTLY THOUGH BUT ;;;;; STSG…. THE STSG DYNAMIC….

mickey i’m convinced that u are secretly plotting my downfall there’s no other explanation. VAMP!SUGU FLIRTING W JOURNALIST!GOJO ……..…. i DIED i exploded they make me feel so ill. I’VE PROBABLY DEFINITELY SAID THIS BUT EVERY TIME U GIVE ME ANOTHER PIECE OF VAMP LORE I FALL FURTHER INTO THE PIT just . sugu feeling more comfortable in the dynamic & getting more confident… JOURNALIST!GOJO BEING FLUSTEREDPEKSJ HELP MEEEEEE vamp!reader would find that so funny wouldn’t they. so sweet. now i’m just imagining the vamps teaming up to fluster gojo 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 me next

(he doesn't want u to be jealous he's more asking for reassurance - is it okay if the two of them mess around together too? and of course it is bc you want your boys to be happy)

dont even get me started on this ^^^^ im sending u my hospital bill watch out . MICKEY :(( im so obsessed w vamp!reader it isn’t even funny i need them so bad it’s sickening. they KNOW they call the shots and sugu knows it too and the way they’re kind of just. indulging their beloveds…… they’re sooo <33333 yeah.

i just wanted to let u know i am in fact thinking abt these three constantly i am kissing ur brain always. pls give mr armin a lil kiss from me too !! <33

HI ARI BABY!!!

it's so good to see you here (i might keep you forever)(/hj).

what do you think of playground love by air (btw doesn't the cover for this song look like sugu lmao i just noticed that) for this stsg? it might not be something you immediately thought of, right? but i feel like it suits the sugu teaching satoru how to paint?? do you see the vision?? or did you imagine something else?? i need to know. i think this moment would be such an important one in their relationship such a pivotal moment

i can totally see suguru talking about the colors and anatomy and how to hold the brush and then little journalist!gojo is just staring at him with stars in his eyes trying to concentrate because he really does want to learn but fuck it's so hard with this angel before him...

and i think the song name is also funny in a sense that satoru is like a teenager bc how easily he pops his boners lmao okay he just gets so fucking excited in his head it's literally not even sexual????? like sugu is just sooooo handsome under the moonlight it's making his head spin and oh! oops!

another thing i thought about is the fact that they definitely have a cat!!! idk if i said this already somewhere but they do!!! not a black one bc that's a little basic but maybe like a siamese one? meow very cute. anyway i think satoru desperately want to have the cat's attention but it loves sugu the most lmao and he's soooooo smug about that too!!! satoru is all pspspspsps bribing the kitty with the treats but it literally ignores him?????? and just gets comfy on sugu's lap without a second thought. imagine the pouty little satoru here:((( btw the reader is also jealous of sugu in this case but they refuse to show it. bc c'mon they're the leader of the house they can't be upset over their own cat liking their beloved more. no way. never. that's so childish. :(.

oh and and and!! the vamp!reader really does like satoru and they know that he's the perfect guy to help bring suguru out of his shell even more yk they know that a little curious puppy like him is only gonna do good in their household (after they reassure sugu ofc)

wait actually i can't remember whether i said that satoru just kind of moved in too right??? like he rarely goes to his city apartment and he just has his own room (as if he fucking sleeps there smh) and he absolutely loves lliving in the mansion he doesn't even hide it. i do need to say that he also adores having maids and a butler but he's still incredibly respectful towards them yk like he isn't pointlessly bossing them around

he also loves to blast stupid fucking music over the whole house.... canon i'm afraid. idk why but justin timberlake just popped into my head lmao like his music in the 10's wheww bangers though i won't lie

OHHH WAITT I JUST THOUGHT ABOUT SHOKO AND SATORU bc like they don't know each other yet!!!!! so imagine shoko comes over for their usual wine night and then finds this blue eyed guy lazing on the couch without a shirt on????? like who are you???? but then she recognizes him hehehe i think journalist!gojo is a rather known one he's good at his job so she just rolls her eyes but after an hour or two i think they actually get along surprisingly well!! (okay i mean it's not a surprise for us but for the reader and sugu) they kind of share the same stupid af humor and it all just gets super fucking funny when they're all playing board games together lmao (shoko always wins btw)(always.)

also heheheh armin came to sit with me just as i started writing this!!! he has received his kiss!! he meowed back!! he loves you!! i know bc i know his language so just trust me!!

ANYWAYY THIS IS THEMM!! i love talking about them it comes so easily the words really write themselves really (i can't wait to actually you know.. write something real for them lmao)(SOON I PROMISE SOON)

thank you for coming by i hope you never leave!!! mwah mwah mwah!! love you lots and lots and lots!!

#ahhhh #my beloveds all together #sighh #i'm so full of love #danger warning #i'm about to explode #ari my sweetest angel #i hope you're doing so fucking good today!!! #ari <3 #mickey can't stop thinking #friends!!

[step-on-me-khun]

Hellooo i have not requested in a long time hahah... ngl i lost your account TT... so may request khun bam hatz and white headcanons on a reader that nibbles them sometime like reader has no sexual intention and it does not hurt like softly bite but idk how they react so up to you if you dont mind some fluff pls. Thank you in advance!! :> ~ PoTATo anon

been a long while since I've had a request including hatz and headcanons are getting a little rare now, so thank you for giving me headcanons ❤️

no warnings or word count taglist: @unexceptional-h @rizonacigaravenue @koi-chairowo @aoi-turtle @bangchanbin

Bam

the first time you nibbled on his ear, he almost fell off the bed, and you slowly hid under the blanket, apologizing and saying that it was something you felt you wanted to do

it still startled him when you tried it the next few times, but you would give him an apologetic smile and go back to relaxing again

the more you nibble at him, you more comfortable he becomes

would chuckle at you playfully when you nibble at him at a time he expects you to

it's a quirky part of you that Bam likes

and it's also something he copies from you

Khun

a little surprised by your new urge, kinda give you a questioning stare

but then teases you for it, likening you to a cat who's found something soft

and the teasing's relentless but calms down after a while

it is a bit difficult for him to get used to, but eventually, he does, and it's something strange that he likes about you

tries to spot times when he thinks you're going to try it, then teases you just before you nibble on him

but gets you to promise you that you'll only do this kind of thing in private

White

didn't flinch, didn't even say a word when you tried it, and it made you feel uncomfortable as fuck

bluntly teases you to the point it's weird

you'd have to let him know that you want to nibble on him before you try to do it

insists on you doing it on his neck, so it looks like lovebites - he has an enormous ego, you know

sometimes, when he feels like it, he will tell or ask you to nibble on him, even if you're uncomfortable

Hatz

as soon as you attempted to nibble on him, he straight up asks you what you were doing

takes a long time for him to get used to what you're doing, and even then he doesn't understand why you do what you do

insists that you only nibble on him when he's calm, he doesn't want to snap at you

complains about this 'habit' to Shibisu, who teases you for it

finds you strange for being this way

please don't steal or translate anything i write

#tower of god headcanons #tower of god #khun aguero agnis #25th baam #khun aa #twenty fifth baam #kami no tou #tower of god khun #khun aguero agnes #tower of god baam #tog baam #the 25th bam #bam x reader #arie white #tower of god hatz #tower of god white #hatz

[theblurrysystem]

took those questions from one of the "system ask games" and answering them here. why? bc i wanna answer them, i dont wanna wait for asks, and you cant stop me /lh

🥀 - do you keep track of your alter count? how do you do so?

yeah we do! or at least try to. we personally have done it through journalling and using simply plural. we mainly use sp now, as journalling is more so for communication / vent / memory purposes.

🫀 - do you have non-human alters? what species are they?

yeah! just over half of us are 'non-human', but that varies from part human (fae, hybrids, mermaids, etc) to full animals (cat, fox) and even objects.

🍄 - when did you realise you had a complex dissociative disorder?

i believe the body was 13? eh ill say 13-14 years old, as a bit of a range because there was about a year and a bit of researching and tracking symptoms and whatnot before we really understood / knew we had it.

📻 - do you experience amnesia?

yes a lot. whether it emotional amnesia or grey outs, or forgetting day-to-day things, yeah. a lot of amnesia can happen with switches, though its rarely black-outs for us, and sometimes we have amnesia even when there hasn't been a switch.

🥩 - who was the most recent split?

for personal reasons, not gonna answer this one <33

🦴 - do you have an innerworld? what does it look like?

oh my fuck, we could make a whole post about our innerworld and all the different areas. we do have an innerworld, and its existed for as long as i can remember. its changed over time and some places change how it looks daily, but we can make a whole post about it all.

🦷 - what’s a fun fact about the current fronter(s)?

ooooh a fun fact abt me. i would sayyyy, i named myself after a character in a fanfiction <3

💀 - is your system more overt or covert?

covert. when we're with people we trust and feel safe with, we present more overtly. however with day-to-day, its definitely covert. our switches can be smooth, or sometimes we straight up leave the room and have privacy. we all tend to mask, even if its just a little bit. if you knew we were a system, you might be able to catch a switch here or there. but i think thats only if you know what you're looking for.

🍷 - does your music taste differ from alter to alter? how?

a bit, yeah. mostly all of us kinda like alt or indie music. some of us love musicials while others dont. skye, she fucking loves raps, while others cant stand rap music. some like more heavier music, while pretty much all our syskids like soft songs. we have different playlists on spotify that haven't been updated in months </3

🦇 - do you have any friends with CDDs?

yes we have one with a cdd <3

📺 - are you “heavy” with any type of alter? (e.g. syskid-heavy, introject-heavy, etc.)

we are non-human (57.6%), and 'brainmade' heavy (65.8%). were the percentages needed? ofc not. did i still spend 20 mins figuring it out? yeah.

if you have any questions abt our system, or want us to do another of these (if we can find another) just let us know!

- clem (she/her)

#system ask game #actually did #dissociative identity disorder #did #did system #endos do not touch this post #actually cdd #anti endo #clem rambles #osdd

[idiot-with-a-cat-pen]

otp questions fair game list but it’s by an idiot who can’t sit in a chair correctly

“pens you’re alive???!?!??!?” yes unfortunately anyway the list, minus a couple of them because they’re a bit nsfw and im not here for it

i’ll put it under a read more because im not a sadist

1. Who is the most affectionate?

clover. no justification just facts

2. Most common argument?

do u know,,,, what its like,,,, to be AFRAID of yourself??? i could hurt u! i could- (translation: qrow telling clover to Fuck Off before he gets hurt)

3. Who apologizes first?

clover. qrow is emotionally constipated and sits on the roof brooding until clover comes up to find him

4. Favorite (non-sexual) activity to do together?

board game night or some shit, idk. clover always wins

5. Who drives and who rides shotgun?

clover drives and scolds qrow for putting his feet on the dash

6. Who is most likely to carry the other?

clover initially but then qrow gets tired of him showing off and starts Picking Him Up to establish dominance in the middle of combat or something

7. Nicknames?

lucky charm and cloves are the obvious ones. soldier boy. dipshit. idk what clover calls qrow but it’s probably something disgustingly affectionate and qrow gets embarrassed every time

8. Who proposes?

clover probably, qrow is still in his “you dont want the burden of my name” arc

9. Who sings along with the radio?

qrow but in bird form ONLY

10. Who worries most?

probably qrow but poor clover is also pretty fuckin worried about qrow 24/7

11. Who always wants to take selfies with the other?

clover needs content for his instagram (which is private and has qrow’s account tagged with a bunch of hearts in his bio. qrow doesn’t even have a pfp. he forgot the password 3 years ago.)

12. Who likes to playfully tease the other?

yes

13. Who has the weirdest taste in their music?

qrow. his spotify is a mixture of the most emo ass shit, nightcore emo shit, and terraria boss music. 

14. Who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant?

clover. qrow remembers too but clover orders so

15. Who is embarrassed to take their clothes off in front of the other?

im sure clover has some form of trauma after the whole chapter 12 incident. i wouldnt be surprised if there was a fic already about clover’s insecurities around his giant ass chest scar

but like also it’s clover 

16. Who initiates kisses?

clover mostly

17. Who reaches for the other’s hand first?

also clover. qrow is too busy Repressing his Emotions to do such a thing but clover holding his hand is like therapy even if he wont admit it

18. Who brings an animal they found home?

clover brings a cat home. they name it lucky. they laugh for an hour then realize how stupid they are.

19. Who holds the umbrella for the other when it’s raining?

clover keeps trying to bring qrow an umbrella, but qrow runs away from it because he needs to brood in the rain

20. Who tries to playfully embarrass the other in public?

they’ve got a competition going. both of them are really good at the cocky act though so neither of them have cracked. yet.

21. Who kills the scary bugs?

qrow, with pleasure. clover tries to rescue them as much as possible depending on the bug. cockroaches are on sight tho

22. Who asks the weird questions at random in the middle of the night?

probably neither of them. they’re old, they need their beauty rest

23. Who hogs the blankets?

qrow. even if he’s overheating he still takes clover’s blanket

24. Who wakes up first?

clover wakes up at like 7:30 every morning and makes breakfast. qrow is both awed and disturbed by how well he has his life together. one time, qrow tries to pay him back, so he wakes up at 5am and makes an inappropriate amount of pancakes. (they have to invite nora over to finish the leftovers)

25. Who wants to stay in bed just a bit longer?

qrow emerges from bed at 11am on average. it’s rare to see him out of his pajamas before noon.

26. Who always makes coffee for the other each morning?

tea. but see #24

27. Who cries during certain films or when reading sad books?

clover. qrow absolutely didn’t cry watching the lion king, and even if he did, you have no proof.

28. Who gets scared during horror films?

qrow acts all tough when clover’s clutching a pillow in anticipation, but he falls for every jumpscare

29. Who cuts the other’s hair?

qrow is a master of cutting hair. his niece is yang xiao long.

30. Who says “I love you” first?

clover. qrow will pine away but will never say anything for previously mentioned emo reasons

31. Who tells their friends/family about the relationship first?

clover tells his family. qrow’s family tells HIM. yang and ruby get sick of watching him pine 

32. What do their friends/family thing of the relationship?

ruby and yang are just happy that their uncle qrow is slightly less edgy now. winter is happy for clover but will detest qrow until the day she dies just on principle

33. Who is more likely to ask the other to dance with them?

clover, i mean havent you seen the ballroom scene in v7? where clover asks qrow to dance and they end up getting married and salem leaves because she cant compete? what do u mean that didnt happen?

34. Who cooks best?

qrow is secretly a good cook but you would never know it by the way he pours milk straight into the cereal box

35. Who wears the other’s jacket?

I would say qrow because there’s no way his skinny man jacket fits clover, but let’s be real, clover doesn’t own a fucking jacket

36. Who uses cheesy pickup lines?

clover. have u met the man

37. Who makes the other laugh most?

clover makes qrow laugh a lot, if u count amused huffs as laughter

38. Who needs more reassurance?

guess.

39. Who would have to bail the other out of jail?

clover is usually the law-abiding half of the relationship, plus he’s part of the military so

40. What would be their theme song?

@synvamp (im sorry for tag syn) wrote an absolute banger for them. thats it. whatever universe it is, that’s the one

41. Who would sing their child back to sleep?

clover usually, sometimes qrow tries in bird form but lucky is one evil cat and WILL try to murder him

42. What do they do when they’re away from each other?

live their lives man wdym? clover sends qrow lots of texts though

43. A headcanon about them that stabs your feels?

canon.

44. A headcanon that mends the previous one?

my canon now

if you read all of this you’re a legend, see you in 6 years when i finally finish the next fic chapter

#fair game #rwby

[kudzucataclysm]

This or That: Writer Edition!!!

tas tagged by the amazing @vacantgodling :3 i tag...whoever sees this 👁️👁️ no really. dewit

historical or futuristic

FUTURISTIC 100%. historical shit can be…very boring to me, usually cuz its all very repetitive? And to me its usually way too grounded in established reality and focuses a ton on aesthetic. like history is pretty much done, but the future is absolutely unwritten and unknown to for me its more interesting to speculate abt (pushes my ww1 horror story and 1200s zombie apocalypse story under the bed)

2. the opening chapter or closing chapter

opening, cuz its easier and more exciting to figure out while the closing chapter tends to beeee hard to figure out and kinda sad for me? cuz its over dfvfv like its the END. and u gotta figure out a satisfying wrap up for all these characters and plotlines and all that, which is a monumental task in and of itself (to me) EVEN THOUGH. i agree, working backwards can often hepl tremendously in working out how everything goes (i say this cuz i actually know the ending of my wip Typhoon Landing, so its easier to map out in a way)

3. light & fluffy or dark & gritty

dark and gritty ig? although it can be overdone in a way, where theres next to no levity and people bask in its grittiness. light and fluffy however can be boring and bleh, i'll take dark and gritty over that any day

4. animal companion or found family

found family for sure. i rarely have signifigant animal companions in my story cuz…well, theyre pets. the only one i can think of rn is EFJ, Dez's eventual cat who can TALK, but even then she doesn't get much attention story wise. she's just someone Dez can talk to and take care of v-v but yeh all my stories tend to have a semblance of found family huehue

5. horror or romance

HORRORRRRR cuz i don't have the patience for romance ig lol. i also don't really care for it :p way less interesting to me than horror

6. hard or soft magic system

it depends? i prefer hard magic typically but in the case of certain settings like Discworld, the soft magic system is extremely interesting and feels natural to the world and stories! but for stories like FMA, the hard 'magic' system being built around chemistry and math is like WHHOOAA and its super cool and neat to me. so…either is fine!! if i find it interesting and that it fits in the world it resides in

…actually u know what im gonna be a hater for a sec. one magic system that i absolutely fucking abhor is the H/P system like what the actual fuck. it makes genuinely no sense like evidently u had wizards disappearing their own shit in the 1300s but if ONE FUCKING KID does a self defense on a malevolent entity that will CONSUME HIS FUCKING SOUL ALONG WITH OTHERS, u go to wizard court and yur banned from magic 5evar. the ghosts of dead students haunt the halls of britain wizard school wtf what happened there. the whole blood quantity race thing with wizards who think humans are below them cuz they cant do magic yet they dont even know how dishwashers work (lets not even get into it how the very author is like 'yeah non-magic ppl are lame and stupid lol'). the full blown racism where other supernatural creatures and people are discriminated against like yur a wizard with lycanthropy?? yur a giant? fuck you kill yourself no youre not allowed to learn magic. the teachers and ministry despite knowing the threat that the ghost thingies pose (THEYRE ON SCHOOL FUCKING GROUNDS?? KIDS WILL BE SOUL SUCKED) and like theres TERRORISTS RUNNING AROUND and nobody teaches these kids self defense spells. on TOP of that, they STILL HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL LMAOOO like that is so fucking funny to me, genuinely. like FUCK THOSE WIZARD KIDS FR LOL anyway im done

7. standalone or series

series cuz for the life of me i cant have short or self-contained stories. i grow too attached to characters and the world and it has to be drawn out to its full potential sorry not sorry

8. one project at a time or always juggling two+

im hyperfocusing on SE rn but i have like 15+ stories on the backburner rn rip to everyone who liked those specifically and havent seen em since

9. one award winner or one best seller

uuuh i dunno? i dont think either of these things will happen for me cuz my works are uh…weird? but i think a bestseller would be kinda cool maybe…

10. fantasy or sci-fi

sci-fi!!!! i love to blend both genres tho so rules can be bent more- and i generally do hate how many sci-fi fans these days are all ''REALISM!! ACKTCHUALLY THIS WOULDNT HAPPEN BECUZ-'' idc its fake. i love earlier sci-fi stories where its just crazy bullshit. cowboys on alien planets. sword and planet, with barbarians and knights with super futuristic technology. Alien planet where the ocean itself is the alien intelligence. FRANK HERBERT'S DUNE WHERE DRUGS PRODUCED BY MOUNTAIN SIZED WORMS IS THE BASIS FOR INTERPLANETARY TRAVEL; THE DRUGS ALSO GIVE YOU THE ABILITY TO PERCIEVE SPACE AND TIME OUTSIDE OF REALITY. fucking shit like godzilla where an iguana was exposed to radiation and turned into a massive monster who terrorizes cities. like bring that shit back like thats my heroine. i want WEIRD SHIT!!!

11. character or setting description

character description cuz its simply easier vv' descriptions in general are hard for me

12. first or final draft

ive never even completed a draft please no talk to me-

13. love triangle in everything or no romantic arcs

FUCK LOVE TRIANGLES FR i hate that shit with a passion dont even get me started. i dont even give af abt romance in stories anyway so i'd rather have no arcs goddamn >:/

14. constant sandstorm or rainstorm

constant rainstorm plz, forever :3

#tag game #eheheeeee #anyway believe it or not i have so many opinions on a lot of things- #like sometimes i wanna talk abt those opinions but wtv #bleh bleh bleh

[aftonfamilyvalues]

Nice. Okay, so. First off, know neandethals are pretty much just big humans looks wise. I heard a theory, a genuine one, about how early humans may have hunted and possibly ate neanderthals. So that got me thinking. What if that led to them evolving specific abilities to hide from and avoid humans? And since they wouldn't have cities or accesories like us, they would still need fur.

Know something else furry, humanoid and rarely seen by people? Bigfoot.

Neanderthals evolved into bigfoot, with special traits that makes them avoid humans so much that we rarely ever see them or find living proof of them. And what little evidence is collected is always shrugged off, since no other animal hides as well as they do (except for a desert cat) (but the cat is proven to be real)

thats an interesting one, i dont think ive ever heard of the early humans eating neanderthals thing though. i know we fucked. thats even weirder. some humans were like "food!" and others were like "no this is my fucking lover"

although i suppose thats coming from the assumption of consent.

but back to the bigfoot thing, i like that, thats fun. you never know

#ask

[vacantgodling]

tit for tat: the character from witch noir i'm most obsessed with right now is angel. he just sucks so bad, but at the last minute he decides to try really hard!! for love!!! he's a cancer sun pisces moon pisces rising he's so sad and pathetic and full of love. he cries big ghibli tears and changes reality through sheer force of he believes in it so hard. he can't drive and his best friend is a cat. and he looks like oscar isaac.

now you 🔁

thank you for doing this i’m also now???? obsessed with him. cancer x pisces baby he’s so TINY idk i’m holding him i am kissing on the head i am giving him hot chocolate 😭 i’d love to know more about him?? how does he suck? how does he manage to turn things around? what’s his cats name??? i need to knowww

(also he looks like oscar isaac? i’m 👀 looking)

i randomly get into moods for stuff so like earlier i was going through my google drive with all my nonsense and looked back over my stuff for NAD and man i wish this plot would better reveal itself to me bc i love these characters. so much!!!

NAD rn is an acronym placeholder title for the actual wip itself (hopefully it’ll name itself… one day…) standing for the 3 povs that the story’s gonna switch through.

N is for Nyseah Nicoletti. she’s a trans femme nurse who is so. fucking. tired. she’s so damn tired. let her sleep. in her 30s and works the midnight shift most nights of the week and hardly takes time for herself, chain smokes to keep the edge off of how tired and irritable she always is. she wants better for herself but like ? how. getting the boob job was hard enough lmao. anyway tho, she’s given a respite from her misery one rare night off and she decides (for once) to go out. gets all dressed up, goes to a bar and WOW? a handsome man is actually?? flirting with her???? this doesn’t happen every day, what’s the occasion? they end up going back to a motel, fuck, and then nyseah wakes up alone. everything’s cool… until she opens her left eye. then SUDDEN PAIN!!! (i posted that excerpt here but she’s not having a god time). and well, come to find out she’s psychic now. but not in a good way. in a if you even think about using your powers blood is pouring from your eye type of way. ends up meeting some “escaped experiment” kids that she immediately adopts who are able to help her but her whole story is kinda. revenge for this dude who fucked her over like this bc it’s definitely one-night-stand dude’s fault (and this ain’t just a funny like. he literally caused this lol,,)

A is for Alona. a sweet, little air headed but doing her best! college student in her early 20s. she picks up a job at the largest and most famous (infamous probably) company in the city as a part time secretary and is living the good life, or is trying to! her coworkers are a bit standoffish at times but she’s pretty chill with the whole thing until one day for the first time she’s asked to stay on for the night shift. that night goes well, but she notices what looks to be a trail of blood coming from one of the back rooms she’s told not to go into and while she doesn’t that night the thought doesn’t leave her mind. she just can’t help but want to know more? somethings not right and well. she’s curious! (let’s just hope the cat phrase doesn’t come to fruition shall we).

finally, D is for PI Donte MacBride, the oldest of the bunch in his mid 40s. he really should retire from doing pi work but he has no other prospects or savings, so he just lives out his days in his little rickety shop/turned upstairs apartment (since he lost the last real place he had), shooing away those with hopes of him facing the cruel justice system on their behalf. he won’t, not anymore, he’s done with that circus. and he’s all but stopped taking on cases too until one day a very. very famous guest decides to drop by; an actor known only by his first name leonine. he comes by to request his services, claiming its only for closure as per don’s policy: find out who killed recently killed rising star, the singer roxanne davis, one of his dearest friends. and he makes don a monetary offer he can’t refuse—one that would set him for the rest of his life. so… despite the red flags about touching this case going off in his head, don finds himself taking on one last case.

as you can probably guess, these three stories intersect and the three of them are going to meet and realize they’re all on the same path to… whatever the fuck is going on here. but !! i have yet to figure out truly what it is aside from lil bits and pieces. fjfjfj i’m sorry this was so long haha.

#s: nad #just thinking about the True Found Family Dynamic

[creacherkeeper]

3, 14, 28, 40, and 66? also 69 except how would she describe the lost party. FOR LIZZIE

3. what is their goal right now?

to figure out literally any way she can protect divine or keep her safe. divine is going like. the one place she can't follow and things are happening that neither of them understand and lizzie just wants a way to be Useful but is kind of floundering. she's strong and she's smart and neither of those are as useful as lizzie being There With Her and she's not happy about that

14. what is something they love about themself?

lizzie very much prides herself on her intelligence and frankly not much else. being smart has gotten her out of a lot of trouble but its. gotten her Into a lot of trouble too

28. who would they kill? who would they kill for?

this is a very complicated question. she would have to be so extremely pressed in order to do something like that because she's simply never taken a life before and doesn't know if she could

40. do they enjoy poetry?

i think she does. i think she understands subtly and she understands sometimes the best way to say something is by not saying it at all

66. who makes them feel warm?

right now, definitely scruggs and kelsey, though she would be hard pressed to admit it. colter on rare occasion he's genuine and isn't acting like an ass. and i think divine definitely has a high chance to Start but for so long has just made her feel so !!!!???? and keyed up and Confused and Flustered that like. warmth is such a calm emotion compared to how she feels around divine. but i think yes once they start like. acclimating to each other

69. how would they describe their party members?

cass - i think lizzie really respects cass but also has every intention of giving her her distance. they didn't exactly have a great relationship because cass didnt know why lizzie wasnt trying harder to find virginia's killer and now that it's out in the open lizzie doesnt want to be like. yeah sorry for not telling you? so it's just Messy. but cass is like. a respectable business owner and staple of the town who keeps a lot of the local troublemakers in check so lizzie like. does appreciate her from afar

maeve - maeve is. an odd case to lizzie. because she's not working with the official house. and is definitely too smart for her own good at gathering information and putting things together. but she doesn't necessarily?? cause trouble?? so lizzie is Suspicious of like. what she's using this info for. but isn't going to do anything about it if maeve doesnt

morel - lizzie has her ear to the ground and knows morel does good work as a healer. she has like. Some loyalty to dr clark just as a fellow devotee of sidewinder but also. knows he's a fucking ass who doesn't help a lot of the more vulnerable people. and now that cat and kitten are living with morel too and clearly trust them very much, and morel is trying to integrate into the town more, i think she like. cautiously trusts them but just doesn't know them very well and doesn't like that. lizzie likes knowing everything all the time

will - her brothers cringefail boyfriend. okay joke but. she was Not On Board with waylon bringing in will to kill brandi and he did earn some points with her for not doing that and also (attempting to) tell off waylon for it. him being a mercenary does not sit right with her but scruggs has told her many good things. so she's like. he makes you happy but he's on thin fucking ice. she doesnt love how fast scruggs and will are moving

divine - confusing but hopeful. it's just Messy when you've been secretly in love with someone for years after not knowing you can feel romantic attraction but also they're married and then you arrest their brother out of frustration because they yelled at you in front of everyone about something that was actually you doing a good thing but there was no way for them to know that and then you kind of get together but cautiously except you also dont know how serious its gonna be because you dont know they know youre apart of a very hated minority group and simply dont know how to drop that bomb and also youre both girls. and paladins now. and you just want to kiss but their god made them a soldier without asking. and now theyre going to your homestate that you absolutely cannot go back to and you cant tell them why. does that answer the question. because it doesnt for lizzie. girl is going insane

onion - you know the aunt who your siblings and dad are way closer to and you just kind of have an awkward relationship with them and dont really like each other much but dont want to be a bitch so you just dont say anything but then come across like a bitch anyway. yeah.

#LIZZIE MY BABYGIRL LIZZIE #thank you <333 here is The Scoop on ur gf #lost township #lizzie losttownship

[absolutesort]

day 28 — frankie & dylan.

setting :    living room  /   casa amor.

time :  idk sometime in the afternoon but obviously before the big game. 

featuring :    dylan, her best friend in the world, dont hate her  @cruelsxmmcr​

dylan.

he had noticed frankie rushing inside after the whole race and consequent naked laps, but with adela following her first, he figured he’d check up on her later. he sits next to her, bumping his shoulder to hers. “not going to lie, i never thought we’d streak together.” or with josh and val. but frankie and josh is the most shocking of it all. “day one’s not over yet and it’s already crazy.” he’s very rarely the type to want alone time, but after everything, he doesn’t mind some quiet time right now. 

frankie.

“really?” frankie responds, a bubble of bright blue gum snapping back against her lips. “that’s funny. i’ve always dreamed of streaking with you. it’s like the number one fun bonding activity for future inlaws. maybe callie and naomi are doing it in the other villa, too.” smirking, she shoves her shoulder back against his, then drops her weight back against the sofa cushions, legs lifting to tuck over his lap. “tell me about it. i’m wiped.” yawning, she tucks her head into one of the cushions, curling up like a cat. “y’wanna take a nap with me?” frankie asks, foot kicking against dylan’s thigh. “i’m a really good big spoon. and a little one. i just like spooning, really.” half-asleep, she blows another bubble of gum, only opening her eyes to see how large it’s gotten. 

dylan.

he lets out a loud laugh at her words. “you dreamed a little too hard, i reckon, but hey, your dreams just came true. true, we’re now bonded on a much deeper level.” he looks at her with a dimpled grin, moving to rest his arms over her legs. “oh yeah, mate, i’d kill for a nap right now. i need to be able to last through tonight.” he reaches to pop the bubble. “oops.” he grins. “okay, i’m the big spoon, you’re the little spoon. with arms like these, i give the best hugs and cuddles.”

frankie. 

"wow,“ frankie responds, astonished when dylan pops her bubble. "that’s like… dirty.” or at least it feels it somehow, swallowing the gum as he nestles in behind her for a nap. she wonders how much gum she’s swallowed in her life — whether it’s really all that bad or if, when she eventually kicks it, the coroner will cut her open like a pinata to find putty sculptures coating the inside of her lungs in a bright kaleidoscope of colour.  "i told miles you have dwayne the rock johnson arms…“ frankie muses, tiredly, as she tugs one of his arms over her waist, wriggling to get comfortable. "it sucks that we can’t just share a bed later. will you read me a bedtime story?” even though it’s 4pm, and the evening’s entertainment hasn’t even begun. she trusts that someone will wake them in time, and she’ll throw on a sequin boob tube, throw her hair in a bun, apply some lipstick in about five seconds flat and call it a day.

dylan.

"you lost the race and made me run around the villa naked, so i pop your gum bubble,“ he says like he’s retaliating, playfully narrowing his eyes at her before he lies down behind her. he’s so tired he’ll probably be out within the next ten minutes. he needs that nap if has to be his usual cheery self tonight, especially since there’s definitely going to be entertainment. "hell yeah, my arms being compared to the rock’s? that’s a grade A compliment.” he only wishes he can have the rock’s physique. his arm goes around the blonde’s waist, pulling her closer to him in a comforting cuddle. “mate, i know. i’m salty about that.” it’s like the producers are setting these rules with the sole purpose of tempting them to fuck up. he’ll probably end up sleeping outside, else he would’ve shared a bed with frankie if he could. “you want an australian tale?” he remembers a lot of them, all dating back to the days his grandparents would read him and callie stories as kids.

frankie.

eyes half-shut, her focus on the world is slipping, as if somebody had cranked up the dimmer switch. “i’ve got your gross germs in my mouth until i die, now,” she sighs, the only weight behind it being the vague desire to wind him up. she’s probably the least likely person in this villa to care about germs, a strident believer in the thirty-second rule when a sandwich hits the floor, licker of anything sticky she comes across and a serial minesweeper for abandoned drinks in clubs. “yeah. obviously. i’m great at compliments.” her hand fastens over dylan’s when he draws her closer, nuzzling into the warm contact. if one of their new roommates walked in right now, they might get the wrong impression, which probably wouldn’t help either of their chances at getting to know the bombshells ( a good thing, depending on who you asked ). still, it would be funny to fuck with them. frankie almost suggests as much, but she’s too tired for planning the mechanics of half-baked ploys right now, safe and sleepy in the comfort of dylan’s arms. “yeah, why not. does it have spiders? i love those freaky little fuckers.”

dylan.

"you’ll be fine. you like picking noses for dares, apparently,“ he retorts, a smile curving up his lips, although she can’t see it. he’s already shut his eyes and pretty much disconnected from everything happening around him, save for the conversation he’s happening with frankie. after having to hear four people tell him he’s made out a fool, all he wants is to think of something else. "spend one day with me and callie over there and you’ll meet like five different kinds. you’ll befriend them right away,” he says, keeping frankie close to him, arms tight. “i don’t think there’s a tale about spiders. there are ones about wombats, emus, and possums though.”

#cant believe he popped her bubblegum thats basically a proposition jia. and u wonder why ppl think they're gonna fuck. #maybe i'll still reply to this. give the dylankie shippers what they want. #carnage and chaos and bloodshed. #sigh. #⥂ frankie castro. ╱ threads. #frankie & dylan. #frankie & dylan 004.

[surveysonfleek]

1661.

How much did your senior prom dress cost you? it was $350 which to me was so expensive! my mum bought it for me as a graduation gift though. later i heard some girls had $800+ dresses, so ridiculous

What dreams have stuck with you since childhood? i cant think of any rght now but im sure theres some

Have you ever been in a serious romantic relationship? yes

Did you ever take your dog to school? no, that wouldve been awesome though!

If you had had a baby in high school, what would you have named him or her? hahaha no idea. prob something i wouldve regretted now

If you had a baby now, what would you name him or her? ive saved my girl name, idk about a boy name yet although i kinda love unisex names too

Have you ever seen someone throw up on a plane? nope

Do you get motion sickness? not often but i have

Has God ever healed you of anything? If so, what? no lol

What is the most boring church you have ever attended? all of them, lets be real

What is the most lively church you have ever attended? a neighbour asked me to tag along to her church as a ‘youth’ thing back in high school to which i agreed to. everyone was super friendly, they played live music a lot etc, after i went there for a couple of months they had some big event one night and they were like, do whatever u feel etc. much to my surprise people started fucking fainting and speaking in tongues... i noped the fuck out of there and sat in the bathroom fucking scared out of my wits. i never went back

Do you find church fun or boring? boring

What do you hate the most about summer? the heat obviously

Which part of your body is the most muscular? my calves i thinking hahaha

Did you ever take Latin in school? no

Which major holiday is closest to your birthday? christmas

What is your favorite Japanese name? miyako

Have you ever ran a cash register? yes

Did you collect Bratz dolls when you were younger? i never had a bratz doll tbh. i was team barbie all the way

Do you think your mom is attractive? she was definitely more beautiful than i ever was when she was my age!

What was the last thing that disappointed you? ugh idk

Do you like the feeling in your stomach on a big drop on a roller coaster? i love and hate it at the same time

Skeletons or scarecrows? scarecrows

Do you own pumpkin earrings? no

What computer game did you used to play all the time? the sims

When was the last time you read a book? like a month ago but i didnt finish it

Would you allow your children to date prior to 16? (assuming you want any) it really depends on the situation. do i know this kid, what would they be doing, where are they hanging etc

What was the last restaurant you made a reservation at? hmmm. this all you can eat sushi resto i think

Which app on your phone do you tend to get the most notifications from? tiktok

What is something you gave up on after many failed attempts? paint by numbers. i attempted a few during lockdown and they never looked good and took forever to do

Do you watch political shows? nah, rarely

Do you play any fantasy/roleplaying games? What? no

Do you like salami? i dont mind mild salami but would still prefer ham, proscuitto, serano, coppa etc

When was the last time you ate meat? tonight

What was the last hot drink you drank? chai latte

Have your parents met your boyfriend/exes? yes

How about your boyfriend’s parents? Met them? yes

Do you know how to say I love you in at least 4 languages? hmm yes!

Do you find the sound of a cat’s purr relaxing? haha no, i dont like cats

Do you know your mum’s first pet’s name? i dont think she ever had a pet that was only hers, a lot of her siblings had pets instead

Would you ever want to be famous? If so, for what? not really, that used to be my lifelong dream as a kid and im kinda glad it never went ahead haha

Would you ever get a heart tattoo or your back? nah

What fruit can’t you stand? anything sour. most berries, kiwi etc

Do you know anyone autistic? yea

How about someone bipolar? hm idts, not fully diagnosed anyway

What do you consider private to you? my health

Name somebody you know who deserves a better life than they have: im drawing a blank rn but im sure theres someone

Name something that you’re good at but don’t like: idk :(

Name something that you’re bad at but DO like: spending money bahaha

Name somebody who has tried to help you and ended up hurting you: i cant think of anyone

Name a date that has a lot of significance to you: 7 sept

Name something in your life that was a blessing in disguise: idk

Name something that you’ve done that would be considered rebellious: sold school raffle tickets and kept the money for myself

Name something you wish you had enough money to do: buy a new car or plan my dream wedding without money being an issue

#survey #surveys #quiz #bored #questions

[momiamtired]

dear god, why do you hate me? what have i done? i never asked for a lot. i dont want to be rich or famous i just want to be happy. i just want to have my closesr friends around me and a botfriend and a child and a secure work. i just wish a happy life. why do i need to go through this. why do you hate me? i just was born in a wrong place. why me? of all people why me? i hate this town. i never slept more than 5 hours these 3 days. i wake up at 2 am with an alarm that soon will make my heart stop just to play with my friend because we have huge time difference. thats the only thing that gives me happiness. everything else is rather anger or sadness. im not exaturating. im not a whiny teenager. i want to kill myself. and only because of fucking hope that every day gets ruined i am still standing and sitting on my disgustingly uncomfortable anti suicidal chair and write this in hopes to get better. i only have 4 hours of sleep left, thanks emily. i have finals soon and i still never realised it so good luck to me. i dont really know why am i still alive. i really wish i didnt have things i would be regretting to lose or just i dont want them to be sad. my friend, my dad that is going to be shamefull of my death and regreting how much money he spend on me, my mom, maybe my brother, my relatives which im afraid the most becuase since childhood im afraid of being told to them that i am a failuer, my cat, my hopes that everything will become better. thats all that stoping me and tbh im not sure how long will i manage. no its like i dont even have a choice. if i will die many bad things will happen and i dont even have a cnhoice to unalive myself because even after my death something bad wiill happen. im just amazed thats its jkust getting ridiciuluose. tbh if i will get raped or i will lose my phone or someone will stab me with a knife i wont be surprised im not exadurating im tired of people telling things that are not true i turly feel that if something as bad as that will happen to me i wont be surprised. i hate this town im afraid to walk on streets here im tired of me not knowing english im tired to say things im tired of. its like its just a situation where u are getti ng happiness only from 3 max source and its playing online games with ur friends( u have to not sleep at all and then go to studying while having undiagnosed adhd and just getting emberessed after sleeping on lessons), tiktok which more often gives me strong negative depr4essive emotions like any social media would, and other internet stuff that can give me positive emotions only really rarely and if i willf find something and only if my roommate is not hope and she didnt left homne in like 2 weeks. i dont want to sleep at all and im tired god oh how im tired how ianything that makees this things happen to me oh how i wish he would be suffering eternaly oh how i wish you cant imagen how much i hate my life how everyday get into awful situtions or things all the time and i dont even have a choice its like im a clown or a puppet somebody watches and experiments and laughs. i wish i could be dead tbh god idc anymore just fucking kill me already i dont care at this point i know u wont make my life easier just kill me im tired of crying and anger

[moss-sprouted]

Lets say.... even numbers!

thats so many and this took so long but i mean if you want it here ya go

0: Height

5'4 last i checked

2: Shoe size

uhhhh 7.5-8?

4: Do you drink?

absolutely not i think id die

6: Age you get mistaken for

i think i mostly just get that im 18+ so not really mistaken for much

8: Want any tattoos?

i think id like a memorial to my animals one day but i have no idea what style or where

10: Want any piercings?

i would like to get my septum pierced but but my body hates fun so who knows if it would take

12: Relationship status

in a non romantic relationship but also polyam

14: Biggest turn offs

uhh probably just focusing on yourself or sending unsolicited personal pictures if i dont have an established relationship with you

16: I’ll love you if

you make an effort to talk to me a decent amount, it just makes me feel like you want to spend time with me and think about me, doesnt have to be everyday but i usually am in peoples lives longer if it is almost everyday

18: Most traumatic experience

theres a lot of them,physically traumatic would be getting bronchitis, the most psychologically would be probably be a couple different relationships and how they ended

20: What I hate most about myself

how bad my mental health is

22: What I want to be when I get older

it'd be nice to eventually be in a job involving animals

24: My relationship with my parent(s)

nonexistent but also bad

26: My biggest pet peeves

people no longer wanting to engage with me when i dont want anything to be sexual

28: A description of the person I dislike the most

i cant remember any facial features of him but hes older than me and a pedophile and a groomer lol

30: What I hate the most about work/school

not having a strict schedule or days off

32: What words upset me the most

honestly nowadays its just being referred to as a girl or having majorly feminine words applied to me

34: What I find attractive in women

honestly anything i can find attractive in women i can usually find in anyone,and physical features barely matter to me cause if i become attached to you and youre nice then i usually find you attractive, it rarely comes before that

36: Where I would like to live

somewhere that the people i care about also are, but i think it needs to be sunny and warm sometimes because im a lizard and will die otherwise

38: My childhood career choice

i think i would always choose vet when in asked but i dont think id really enjoy that since the animals would be hurt

40: Who wish I could be

myself but less fucked up lmao

42: The last thing I ate

i think chamomile tea and some sourdough, have not had anything today

44: A random fact about anything

one of my childhood cats had thumbs

#long post

[raincamp]

11 07 2023

sh mention trigger warning

my depression has been really bad recently. at least i think its depression? i mean im diagnosed with PDD but its hard to tell most of the time. since its persistent. i dont know what its like to not be depressed. and when it gets worse i never know if im just sick or dehydrated or if its a bad episode, or if its caused by any of my other mental issues.

last night sucked. i dont know how else to describe it except that i felt like the world was ending. not in an anxious panic-attack-y way though, i just like, felt so much emotion that my body physically couldn't handle it. like i felt intense dread, and i felt like i was going to throw up. actually maybe it was a panic attack. weirdest panic attack ive ever had if it was.

anyway during the episode i sat on the bathroom floor and turned on music. and cut myself. thats usually how i know I'm having an episode. its hard to tell otherwise because i invalidate my emotions so much, and with my emotional permanence, its like every emotion i feel is the only thing i ever felt, so i dont really have comparison, except when it comes to physical tangible things.

physical tangible things like laying on the cold tile listening to wild world by cat stevens and feeling tears run down my face and my throat hoarse and blood dripping down my arm to stain my floor.

after patching myself up i didnt really know what to do, i told myself i would get up and do something but the minute i layed down on my bed exhaustion overtook me.

so i texted my roommate asking for help. she was still at work but i asked her to "give me emotional support in whatever way she could handle offering it" and i also said "its completely valid if you dont have the emotional capacity for me"

i have a lot of fear of burdening other people, which is why i used to not ask for help, but in therapy i learned that its ok to ask for other people to meet our needs, and so on the rare occasion that i do i usually leave ample space for the other person to say no. i dont want to force them into anything.

when she got home from work she made me tea and let me talk to her for a whole hour. immediately i felt better and went to bed with no problems. i was even able to abstain from drinking and smoking before bed :) i dont fucking deserve her

anyway, i woke up today feeling the same as i did yesterday. exhausted, lethargic, apathetic. i want nothing more than to lose myself in hobbies i enjoy, or accomplish something, but I can't. i tried yesterday, i would get out of bed, get dressed, and prepare myself to be productive, but the moment i started a task exhaustion would come over me again and i would find myself back in bed.

i wish i could sleep, because it feels like thats what my body needs, but no matter how much i try, i cant. ive been making it a point to eat and stay hydrated, but thats not helping, so the only thing i can suppose it is, is depression.

i hate that i cant even distract myself. scrolling mindlessly on my phone is boring, watching tv or youtube is boring, listening to music is boring, reading fic is boring, i even tried hanging out with my other roommate for an hour and i couldn't do anything but lay there.

i tried setting up an appointment with a psychiatrist so i can go back on antidepressants but the website wont let me make an account or appointment with anyone because it keeps starting over/refreshing the account making process every ten minutes. and i dont have the patience to sit through that.

i hate feeling like this, but i really cant do anything but try to keep myself alive. right now.

- andrew

#tumblr diary #tw sh mentioned #tw sh related #tw sh