#and I don't think there are truly good alternatives with similar sense of community and as varied posting and customization options | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

inkofamethyst · 2 months

Text

March 3, 2024

It's so weird to already know what instrument I'm going to learn next (and also to have purposefully selected a time to learn it). Like, I didn't know I was going to want to teach myself the saxophone in high school, it just kind of happened (though these days I do lowkey wish I had gone for alto rather than tenor (will not make the same mistake with the bass, will prob go for a short scale)). Same with the uke--I was just bored one summer. But knowing that the bass is coming up (but that I'll be waiting over a year for it still (not a bad thing, as I'll be able to use this summer to learn more about my community at large)) makes me a bit antsy to just start playing. I'll be listening to music and will have to make a mental note of a cool baseline I'd like to learn (the "Life Will Change" bridge !!!!!!!!! (though I'll prob have to learn something like "Mask" from P5 before that if I want to play while singing (supposedly notoriously difficult on bass which is lovely)--slower, more repetitive)) but like, that's over a year away. I mean the wait gives me time to save and plan, sure, but I also just want to play something sometimes.

Speaking of planning, when I get to that fateful day next May of picking a bass (not sure if I want to go the cheap route and grab something used online or the Main Character route and have some hot guy in a guitar shop help me pick one out based on his expertise and then offer to give me lessons and then we fall in love (can you tell that Hadestown has pushed the dial right back over to R??) (though the guitar shop plan makes more sense for my first one (of one? of many? who knows) since I don't know any bassists and I don't know what I'm doing (yet))), I'm also going to have to decide whether I want to go for lessons. Honestly? I'm considering it. I know my whole deal is like "hur hur hur im a self taught multi-instrumentalist" (!!!! I'm a multi-instrumentalist !!!!!) but also if I can't find good videos on/am unsure about technique, might as well talk to a professional.

God I'm so excited to learn that instrument. Can you tell?

Speaking of saving, one thing about my savings goals notion page is that I wish it was more.. dynamic. In that, sometimes I save extra towards a goal one month, and it'd be nice if the suggested monthly savings amount went down to reflect the new minimum needed to reach that goal by the desired date. Or alternatively, change the end date based on the amount saved if the minimum payment stayed the same. I don't know how to code either of those, but they'd be a nice touch.

Though, kind of on a similar note, saving so aggressively in January and February has meant that, after typical spending habits, I've been left with basically nothing at the end of the month lol. Everything else taken into account, I've got ~$200 for random discretionary purchases monthly. That's been perfectly fine (aka just enough) but it also feels a little tight? Idk. I suppose I can rationalize it by the fact that it will keep me from overspending and will allow me to reach other goals quicker but it still feels like I'm livin paycheck to paycheck hehe. But this will only last as long as my ultra-aggressive saving strats do, so for about another year, then I start letting up (if all goes to plan).

Also, went ahead and did the per-day calculations because I've always heard that it's cheaper to make your own food than to buy it, and I am actually saving so much by making my own meals every day*. Like, so much. Now, at my uni, getting breakfast or lunch a la carte isn't terribly expensive, but it certainly can and likely would add up.

*Granted, I do benefit from the occasional free lunch or dinner.

Can you tell I'm rationalizing anxiety with over-strategizing? I truly do not make enough money to be so focused (rationalization: start good habits early). The moneydiaries subreddit has fried my brain I think.

Thinking about putting on some fake tattoos at the end of spring break. Partly because they make me immensely, unreasonably happy, partly because I'm curious if anyone would ask about them hehe. The last time I did a full sleeve and met up with some friends (years ago) they were a lil shook.

Today I'm thankful for.. a lazy weekend. And nighttime rain storms.

8 notes · View notes

darkest-depravity · 7 months

Note

New to the BDSM and LGBTQI+ community and would love to know your insights for a rich and happy sex life in this new world

Thank you mistress 💜

Thank you for asking! I love seeing you so eager to learn ;)

A few things here:

Communication. If you're uncomfortable with something, say so. If you really want to try something, say so. If you're unsure or feeling nervous, say so! There's being big strong burly grrr Domly Dom 👿 and being cute weak defenseless lil sub 🥺, and then there's you and your partner(s) as individual autonomous beings. These two facets of your relationship exist simultaneously. Don't neglect to mention a thought or experience you're having because you feel like it may compromise your role in the power dynamic. Kink, when at its best, involves the ability to fully believe in the power dynamic AND also never lose sight of you and your partner(s) own actual personhood. It's both. And. They aren't actually opposites, even though it can seem like it sometimes because the power dynamic feels so real (and it is! it's as real as you want it to be!) but they don't actually need to conflict with each other at all. A Dominant should be allowed to be vulnerable without losing the respect of their submissive, and a submissive should be allowed to be strong and powerful without the Dominant’s power feeling threatened. You might not always be perfect at this. And that's ok!! You're human. If something doesn't work out, the important thing is to communicate it to the other person/people involved, and reflect on what you could do differently next time :)

In a similar vein, watch out for rigid & binary archetypes constricting your thinking. If you have a certain idea of what a Dom/sub is "supposed to be like" and “supposed to do” you might find yourself overly critical of your partner(s) every tiny move. Alternatively, you could find yourself doing things you might not actually be comfortable with because you feel like you need to fit a certain pre-packaged role. You also might miss out on some great and very pleasurable opportunities! Some good food for thought is this scenario: You walk into a restaurant and see two kink people sitting at a table. One of them is serving food to the other's plate, and hand feeding them off of a spoon. Which one is the sub, and which one is the Dom? The answer is that there's no way to know off of the information you have! Any action can be an act of submission or Dominance. What matters is the mentalities and intentions of each person performing the act, and what feelings the action evokes in you and your partner(s). The possibilities are truly endless when you free yourself from any preconceived stereotypes about BDSM :)

Watch out for red flags. Seriously. This is a big one. BDSM is one hell of a drug. You're going to have Big Feelings in both roles. One of the (many many) reasons that aftercare is so important is that post-scene feelings can be kind of a roller coaster sometimes, and everyone is different in how they react to it. In my experience, the rose-colored glasses phenomenon is even more prominent in kink relationships because the emotions and sense of connection can be so strong. This can lead you to miss important details of their behavior. This is why it's important to start slow (especially since you're new) and work up the intensity gradually. It's also important to do your best to take a step back and try to be objective about the relationship. Is this person respectful of my limits and desires? Does this person give aftercare effectively and consistently? Does this person respect my autonomy? By the way, there are absolutely manipulative and emotionally abusive submissives out there (but also keep an eye out for unworthy “doms” who use that fact as a cover story for their own abusive bullshit). In other words, protect yourself. And don’t take anything for granted until you’ve built a solid foundation of trust with the person.

Finally, and this one’s a lil bit more controversial, the preeminent axiom in the BDSM community is Safe, Sane, and Consensual. I, personally, would argue that this saying is inadequate. In my opinion, not only does the word “sane” in this context have ableist implications, but would additionally contend that many (not all!) of the actions performed in kink are inherently unsafe. HOWEVER that does not necessarily mean that they cannot be done ethically and responsibly. Here I would draw a parallel between BDSM and skydiving, scuba diving, mountaineering, or any other dangerous recreational activity. One will always incur some level of risk by the very action of jumping out of a plane. BUT. A responsible skydiver is going to do everything in their power to ensure that all possible precautions have been taken & have emergency procedures in place in the event that something goes wrong, and it is required of a company which offers tandem skydiving to ensure that their business practices are ethical. Personally, I prefer Consensual, Ethical, and Responsible as a modus operandi. But again, that’s just my opinion, and you’ll likely encounter those who disagree with me :)

Thank you again for your question. I wish you all the best in your endeavors. You be a good boy out there ;)

#bd/sm kink #bd/sm community #bd/sm blog #bd/sm lifestyle #bd/sm relationship #not kink but important #advice

11 notes · View notes

bustyasianbeautiespod · 6 months

Note

Hello again! Thank you for your response! I absolutely love the alternate concepts!! We really could have had it all

I just finished your Job episode and as an aspiring Aziraphale understander I have some thoughts about why he's still doing the exact same things in the apocalypse era. My take on him is that he has to function under layers of denial and repression at all times to live with the cognitive dissonance of his own existence. It's like:

1) I'm an angel therefore I am good and everything I do is good, if I wasn't doing good I would be cast out and become a demon (which is also interesting because I don't think Aziraphale or anyone really knows what makes angels fall)

2) He heard what god wanted during the Job and Eden incidents but he was never punished for doing the right thing so since god is omniscient etc they must secretly approve and he did the right thing and it's all part of the Ineffable Plan™.

3) As long as I'm an angel everything I do is in accordance with god's plan and everything I do is good because I'm an angel.

And he has to live under these insane layers of denial and justifications because the alternative is that god simply dgaf and his existence has no inherent purpose and he has no identity/community and there is no easy way to differentiate between good and evil which means that he isn't inherently good which he associates with being an angel and on and on in circles till he drives himself insane. There's also the fact that he repeatedly draws a distinction between god and heaven in a way that no else does. This also lets him do good things that go against heaven without having to confront any systemic issues (much like his rent forgiveness plan). To conclude he's so fucked in the head <3. I have more thoughts on how Crowley factors into all of this but this is already so long. Anyways, what do you guys think about this?

YOOO this is so so so Aziraphale Understander of you PLEASE follow up with an ask on how crowley factors into this or just make a post and tag us or whatevs

no this truly makes so much sense and rlly magnet-iron-filings aligns some of the thoughts bouncing around in my head + adds some new ones. aziraphale's very first moment of disobedience adjacency - giving away the sword - is resolved for him by crowley sarcastically going "you're an angel, i don't think you can do the wrong thing" so of course that would become a cornerstone of how he reassures himself when he experiences doubt!

and i love your second point! did not even consider that! bc s2e2 does end with crowley saying that aziraphale won't fall bc she won't tell anyone that he went against god, but that would definitely weigh on aziraphale for a long time (what if crowley tells, demons lie, etc etc), so it'd be so aziraphale of him to eventually switch to a "of course god knows what i did. and she supports it." crowley themself encourages aziraphale to take on a similar idea in s1e6 by saying that god always planned armageddon to not go through - then surely she must have also wanted aziraphale to stop it (not that he did anything lmao, but his "how nice to have our part recognized" comment indicates that he thinks he did). and i'm not sure how much you know about s2e6, but (as we will talk about in the recording) i feel like part of why aziraphale says yes to the metatron is bc he just assumes the job offer means god and the metatron both think that aziraphale was right about armageddon, and maybe the archangels haven't changed their tune but they're not god understanders like he is and now he'll be in charge of them so all will be well

he's sooo sillygoofy and by sillygoofy i mean twisted into the most irrational thought paths ever in order to live with himself I WUV YOU AZIRAPHALE!

- Crystal :)

#asks

2 notes · View notes

rafent · 1 year

Note

hibiscus : how does your muse view the gentler , daintier things in life ?as things worth preserving & caring for , or things only bound to wither & disappear ?

HIBISCUS: How does your muse view the gentler, daintier things in life? As things worth preserving & caring for, or things only bound to wither & disappear?

On average Rafal tends to see daintier concepts through a detached lens, enjoying them and recognizing them from a respectful distance due to the strong impression he has toward being undeserving of those things.

Regarding gentler things like love and friendship, it's understandable considering the majority of his formative years and his entire adult life was spent as Nil's imposter. Any happiness he experienced during that phase felt like duplicity- precious moments and experiences meant for someone else, forming his imposter syndrome in a some literal sense of the term- and that mindset even one thousand years later takes considerable effort to change.

The time spent with Nel in Lythos was a stolen treasure in Rafal's own words. He reflects over it in the light of nostalgia, already measuring a retreat from his rights to their bond and not fighting to justify his place in it. Their bond being something he could reciprocate and enjoy, but not anything that would last forever due to the imposter role he played. Nel's gentle nature to Rafal would surely shatter once Nel understood who he really was beneath the facade, so rather than considering their time to be just a pleasant memory, it was also an hourglass on limited time, a joy fated to run out of sand.

Rafal: "You were so gentle and giving with me. So kind. I began to think of you as my one true sister...even now, the memory of our time at Lythos Castle...is priceless to me. But that treasure is a stolen one."

Examining him from another important lens, the beauty of the world is made more obvious to Rafal in his state of post-destruction clarity. Friendships, connections, and communal experiences- all things he reduced to shambles after the actions he undertook in the name of power and Sombron's legacy. His conversation with Ivy reveals a remorseful side of him that expresses empathy for the gentler, daintier experiences that he destroyed. He's asserted as someone who not only identifies the intangible things that others treasure, but sees their value and respects it.

Ivy: "Those unexpected connections are another reason the academy is special to me."

Rafal: "The Ivy from the world I come from must have had similar experiences at her academy. When I think of all the friendships she must have forged... and the effects of my actions..."

During their support, Ivy extends to him an equivocal offer of friendship for his good deeds as 'classmates'. Rafal not only seeks to confirm if the request is what Ivy truly wants, he also exorcises his desire for their special connection out of the equation. He'll be friends- classmates- with Ivy as she wishes, but not as he himself wishes, because when acting with penitence in mind he doesn't consider himself to be in any position to make demands of others. Because in the specific context of their support Ivy's alternate self is someone who he has hurt, the first royal he turned Corrupted in his original world.

Rafal (to Ivy): "If that is your desire, then it cannot be wrong. Your wish is what began this endeavor, after all."

Comparing his response to Alfred and his extension of a bond, however, the nature is somewhat different. Though Rafal thinks of himself as undeserving of friendship and love- the aforementioned gentler and daintier things in life- I don't see that always being the case, thus why I pointed out it being on average. Bonds forged on his own feet, as Rafal and not Nil, or without the distracting anxieties of redemption, are collectively empowering as they should be. It's why Alfred is presumably an illuminating support for Rafal.

Alfred is a weakling of comparable infirmity who pushes himself to be stronger. And more importantly, Alfred once given the full mast of Rafal's sins returns a response of acceptance, eliminating that worry entirely. When given the chance to be 'brothers', Rafal then accepts his offer with only the protest that he be considered the elder brother and not the younger one between them. It shows that Rafal when weighing himself separate from his need to repent and to be emotionally abstinent can and will engage in the playful interactions that resemble normal life. He can find it in himself to chase after the kind, gentle things he used to spurn.

#◜ ₊ — 𝓡 ˚ ₊ 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 ╱ askbox.#◜ ₊ — 𝓡 ˚ ₊ 𝐌𝐄𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐅 𝐏𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑 ╱ headcanon.#alyration #engage spoilers #spacing out these things because i am a big talker #i've wheeled through rafal's supports twice now #xenologue characters don't have too many but each time i find something new to appreciate #rafal as you can Suspect is very troubling in some aspects #what i like though is how observant he is toward the small details that evaded his large sweeping movements as a 'villain'#rafal from that standpoint is someone who enjoyed looking at mountains and vistas but now finds greater pleasure observing ants #a more humble and quaint life so to say

5 notes · View notes

astrolopop · 3 years

Text

❤️ Why Pick a Card Readings aren't always a good idea ❤️

💖 DISCLAIMERS 💖

💖 First of all, I mean no hate to those who make pick a card readings or are otherwise running a spiritual buissness.

💖 The industry and hobby are no less valid, they can be very helpful to people at the right time and take a lot of time, energy, paitence and knowledge.

💖 I don't claim to be right or an expert on anything - this is just my own perspective. I'm not a mental health expert or an expert on spiritual matters.

❤️ WHY ❤️

❤️ It's likely best to be in a balanced mental and emotional state for these readings. The rule of taking what resonates and leaving the rest is very important. Readers tend to be really good at reminding us of this.

❤️ However, as humans, our emotional literacy and awareness can be built across our lifes. We may not always be fully aware that we aren't actually in the space for a reading.

❤️ This can in turn create fear, anxiety, paranoia and other negitive feelings if not so positive things come up. What you feel about what you're told can also impact you differently in the long run than at the time you do it. The reading could impact your mental wellbeing, confidence and behavior. Again, this could become clear in retrospect or right away.

❤️ If you tend to fixate on things, people or aspects of your life (work, hobbies, relationships) readings could potentially feed your fixation. There are hundreds of videos online, free and avalible at anytime. It can overwhelm the mind.

❤️Signs and synchronicitys can be exciting to see and can bring us hope and reassurance but we may start to look for meaning in everything all the time, reading into everything.

❤️ There is a potential of readings making you feel more out of touch with your inner voice and opinions. Being decisive and thinking for ourselves is important to help us build confidence. Readings allow us to seek reassurance often. Instead of thinking about how we feel, what we think we should do, we look outward to something more general, outside ourselves, esoteric and even cryptic at times and not totally personalised to us.

❤️ We kind of give our consent in a way, we give someone permission to read for us and give suggestions. We don't have control over what's said or what comes up so we may not be fully prepared or actually want to hear. This is not to blame the reader as they are just doing their job but there is an element of unpredictability with cards. Tik tok feels the most nonconsensual to me because random readings just start to play. As humans we automatically assign meaning to things we see but that can be dangerous depdning what it is. The upside is that if we learn we don't want random readings we can reteach the algorithm to not show us as much of that.

🎊 POSITIVES 🎊

🎊 Because its not really fair just to be wholly negitive I do need to state some positive things about pick a cards.

🎊 They may give us a sense of community, we may feel less alone and can bond socially.

🎊 They can be fun and uplifting!

🎊 Could help you explore and connect to your intuition, if you truly are in the best mind frame and able to discern well what is relevant to you and what is not.

🎊 Could offer new suggestions and possibilities for you, opening your mind. Both spiritually and what you do in your earthly day to day life.

📝 WHAT TO DO INSTEAD 📝

📝 So if you aren't too fond of pick a cards here are some alternative suggestions.

📝 Do your own cards, or do it with a freind or live with a trusted professional so you can have a dialogue about it. It is more personal too you which may be better. Bear in mind that this option is the most similar to pick a cards. Do not to place too much weight in it but use it as a reflective tool to positively help yourself or your freinds.

📝 Meditate.

📝 Do grounding activities.

📝 Journal. Freestyle, ask yourself what you would ask the cards, ask why you have these questions, list positive things.

📝 Other non-divination based positive witchy stuff.

📝 Do something else. A hobby or intrest, art, music, a sport, exercise, reading or TV or games. Ether something fun, chill, energetic or mentally challanging depending on your needs.

📝 Talk to a trusted person or to yourself, not using divination.

🌼 CLOSING THOUGHTS 🌼

🌼 Promise me to be kind and take care of yourself! Be mindful about what's best for you.

🌼 If something is not good for you, take a step back and make changes. This may mean doing less pick a cards, being selective and only listening to readers that are best for you or completely phasing this style of content out of your life long term or on a certain platform.

🌼 I'd also say if you don't want to know about love, freindship or work, something spesific, avoid those readings. At the same time be aware that they may come up in a reading about something different anyway so it may be better to just not do a pick a card at all.

🌼 All of these options are fine! Do what you need to do!

🌼 Remember, tarot can be really fun and while it can be constructive, it is not supposed to make you feel bad in the past, present or future.

#consent #Spiritual #Mental health #Anxiety #Pick a card #pick a card reading #tarot #divination #oracle #social media #spiritual awareness #Spiritual issues #red flags

58 notes · View notes

everythingthemoontouches · 3 years

Note

Hey, I want to make a similar request. Can you tell me what you think of these placements:

Scorpio Ascendant; Libra Mars in 12; Black Moon Lilith in 12th.

Thanks a lot🤍

Hi!

♏Scorpio risings usually come across as powerful, sexy and like they know something that others don't.

Gives off a dark sex appeal.

Alternately, you may know more about a person /situation than you let on.

Mars,the traditional ruler of your first house is in the 12th. So 12th house themes could be a huge part of your life. Spirituality / mental health / asylums/ monasteries / astral realm etc.

You may really enjoy your solitude.

♂️Mars in 12th can feel like they're often being suppressed by others. Or that their actions are unnecessary curtailed by the group.

You may really enjoy travelling to far off lands for adventure based trips.

Your Mars sign also shows the kind of people that you attract. I'm guessing tactful, smooth talkers seem to be smitten by you. You may find yourself making plans and canceling or really delaying any actions you need to take cuz you're trying to weigh the pros and cons?

On the plus side, an evolved Mars in Libra could sweet talk someone into lending their only pair of gloves in - 2 degree weather.

They're the quintessential diplomats and charmers and can be really popular at parties. Great at networking. Perhaps this active side comes out of you in foreign settings?

Mars in the 12th could have trouble expressing their sexuality. Being in Libra it could in some cases indicate bisexuality.

Lilith in the 12 th does not like to show when she is hurt. There could be a subconscious feeling of being hurt or rejected that you operate out of? A need to prove people wrong.

Lilith in Libra could say one thing and mean something completely different.

Your Scorpio ascendant likes to hold all the cards close to your chest. It's like you understand how valuable information truly is.

The wrong bit of news in the wrong hands could literally start wars or save lives.

For more, I'd recommend looking up ascendant lord in x (alphabet not number) house for both Mars and Pluto.

Based on personal experiences, Anyone with prominent 12th house placements, does some of their best work out of a place of pain. I've got mercury and Lilith in the 12th and I find I do my best writing when I'm hurting.

Succeed out of spite.

And if your immediate environment is not supportive or appreciative of the things you do, what's stopping you from moving across the sea?

Or atleast, find your community online 🌹

NGL, it may not feel like the easiest placement sometimes but the REST OF THE WORLD SEES POWER and a sense of other world ism when they look at you. Scorpio risings are the classic 'throw me to the wolves and I'll return leading the pack' tribe . Some signs do better in adversary.

Good luck out there 💜🍀

#12th house #Subconscious #Libra Mars #Scorpio rising #Scorpio ascendant #Pluto ruled #Lgbtq #Pride #Astrology #Astrology asks #Astro Notes #Mars in Libra #Scorpio first house #Moving abroad astrology #Fame overseas #Suppressed #Knowledge is power

61 notes · View notes

writingdollworlds · 3 years

Text

I know most people see the blondes and immediately think of the oversaturation and some of the poorly made dolls with blonde hair. I want to take a deep dive into each and give my options, thoughts, and things that couldn't been different. Also this is just my opinion, you don't have to agree! This is all light hearted also, let's get started!

Historicals:

Elizabeth- I know she had some controversy since her book didn't match the doll. Plus the rewrite that followed. I think, especially since her hair is wavy, she'd have been identical to Samantha. Aside from her pin curls. I honestly think the rework was understandable. Plus the doll to me reads similar to her character and personality in the books. While a doll like Samantha doesn't register quite the same. This one I can see both sides though. Other colors, like black could've worked too. I am a bit biased as I think Elizabeth is one of the prettiest AG dolls. However Black hair also would've been gorgeous.

Caroline- imagine she had black hair and the same striking green eyes! I don't think she's a bad doll by any stretch, but there seems to be no reason for her to be blonde. Any color of hair would've suited her. Plus a darker color hair and the same bright clothes and eyes would've been so striking and really drive home the vibes of the sea that she is supposed to embody. I honestly think I might send my Caroline to someone in the community to get her rewigged with a black colored wig instead!

Kirsten- I think a different shade of blonde and more historically accurate hairstyle wouldve suited her wonderfully! I don't have many opinions but I think her as a blonde isn't bad!

Nellie- i think her hair needs to be more strawberry blonde and less blonde blonde but otherwise the look suits her and its quite unique! I honestly wouldn't change her at all.

Kit-while Kits whole look is very iconic I don't think Kit necessarily needs blonde hair, I think a light brown would've also suited them! I think Kits look is pretty awesome, and super noticeable. But I don't think brown hair would dampen that at all. Brown hair, might have actually looked a bit nicer!

Maryellen- I have a few issues with her hair. I think its cute as is. But they should've totally made her a full red head with a more period accurate style! (While doing googling I noticed that a pony tail with bangs was a accurate style but idk it just feels the laziest of the options? If that makes sense) I noticed that most of the styles of the time are quite intricate and may be hard to replicate on a doll meant for kids. I found one that was popular among teens that I think Maryellen could've totaled rocked

Julie- Why did she just have long straight hair? Yes it was a style but it was usually accompanied by layered or feathered look or bangs. A more shag type with long bangs would've looked awesome! Plus brown hair and brown eyes are much needed.

Courtney- I have no option because I don't plan on getting her ever, however if you like her thats great! When I look at her she's not 80s as the history she's 80s as the modern marketing pull. Her looks look like costumes or the modern reruns of the 80s looks. Especially her hair. I don't mean to be saltly on main but E

GOTY:

Kailey- ah! I think this blonde works. I can't remember what time this was; but I know that for a long time when I was a kid living a lifestyle close to the beach, especially in cali, was linked to blonde hair! It makes sense to me why she has blonde hair

Mia St. Claire- I'm unsure what the change should be but she definitely needs a new color. I think with her meet outfit a more alternative style would've been sweet! Maybe raccoon dye and sideswept bangs. I'm not sure her personality or style but the shoes really give me 2000s alternative vibes.

Gwen- She should've had a unique shade of brown! I think it would look best still a light color. A new brown would help her stand out since Sonali and Chrissa are so unique themselves and Gwen is easily confused with #12

Lanie- absolutely no changes, none. At this time being blonde was heavily tied to feminine things, being a "mean girl" or "popular girl" and things like makeup, clothes, traditionally "girly" things. Lanie subverts that perfectly. She loves nature and is a self proclaimed scientist. It's perfect!

McKenna- while I love McKenna a different hair color would've looked just as good! I don't have specific ideas, I think her hair is nice but also other colors would suit her too.

Isabelle- Another blonde that needs no changes. While yes at the time the blonde was starting to get redundant. I think the blonde hair is perfect for her, and her unique part and wig, plus the added colors. Make it definitely a good look.

Lea- Lea,, confuses me in so many ways. Shes a gorgeous doll sure. But why isn't she fully a doc, why is she blonde, etc. I hate to say that I'd want to change her as she is another stunning doll but a dark brown or black would've been super nice too!

Kira- I wish they took the Kira doll and made her a truly me, so we could get more unique truly mes and get another poc GOTY 😩 /lh

Tenney- she should've been a brunette period, it would've been so pretty! Her freckles and eyes with big brown hair, ah *chefs kiss*

#american girl doll #american girl blog #girl of the year #american girl tumblr #american girl historicals #pleasant company #historical dolls #doll ideas

4 notes · View notes

motorcyclegirlfriends · 7 years

Note

Sense the SDCC thing, I've been seeing a lot of art and fics that are dragging Kara/Supergirl. Like I get that some people are upset at the actors but the characters have nothing to do with any of this. I started watching the show because I read the comics when I was a kid, I just loved Supergirl as a hero. It's really kind of upsetting. They're treating a character like shit because they don't like something the person who portrays them did.

So this is a long dissection of the current Supergirl fan behavior, but if you’ve been wondering what the hell is going on, you might be interested in reading these concepts.

I understand why you’re upset. I am too, because Kara is such a wonderful character. I don’t think I’ve ever liked a character as much as her.

But there are two things you should realize when seeing this:

1. They never really cared about Kara to being with. Your loved Kara-focused content isn’t changing or leaving, because these people were not making the Kara content. They were likely initially making Supercorp Lena-focused content.

2. It’s not even about her.

I think what a lot of people who are newly joining this SDCC homophobia discussion are missing is that a lot of the most vicious backlash is not from people who are uniquely upset over this issue (though there are certainly people who are- and understandably) but from people who have had consistently overzealous reactions of hate toward actors and characters alike, save their fave (pretty much Katie Mcgrath/Lena Luthor).

On tumblr, and very noticeably in this fandom, there are sections of fans who seem to genuinely enjoy hating things. It’s a sport.

They’re having fun sending the most hurtful things they can think of to actors, and are the quickest to begin making vicious memes and jokes surrounding a negative event, before there has been a consensus within the community of how bad the “sin” was.

The “punishment” begins before the jury is out, and trying to defend those in the situation feels like trying to put a bullet back into a gun after it’s been fired.

(Maybe it’s more like stepping in front of a bullet, because once these few have decided that the target is guilty, they won’t stop, and anyone who disagrees with them is guilty, too. Blogs and actors alike.)

This is partially why my discussion of the SDCC event had a “are they homophobic” slant (other then that I believe the nature of the event itself- if it was homophobic- hinges on the feeling behind the words, unlike most other instances of homophobia. It’s complicated and some people understandably disagree so far, but it’s really how I see it and I’ll be talking more about it a little later in different posts).

People started calling Melissa and Jeremy homophobic right away. Started targeting Kara as a character. Started “spite shipping” Lena and Reign.

Or alternative to these options- immediately fan re-casted Kara as someone else to still be able to ship Supercorp.

From where I stand, if you can so easily let go of this characterization of Kara, you never really cared about her as a character to begin with. If you don’t know that this was The™ person to play Kara Danvers, you’re likely more invested in the role she plays for Lena than for her as herself.

And regardless of gender, I am uninterested in ships in which one character exists for the sake of another. (Lena existing purely for the sake of Kara’s development squicks me, too)

Recasting a woc as Kara doesn’t sit well with me either, for that reason. It’s a similar concept to how Maggie must exist as her own complex and valued person, apart from Alex, because she is a character of color.

I can’t really read the minds of these people, and I guess I could be wrong, but it’s hard for me to imagine actual Kara fans recasting her in this way.

Essentially, a lot of these people, or at least a very vocal minority, are so quick to accept that something horrible has happened because they want an excuse to hate them.

They like it.

Maybe it’s because they’re upset with the way society is and want someone to suffer for it. Maybe it’s because they have unresolved anger in their lives.

But as it stands, it appears as if these people are using moral rightness and social activism as an excuse to be as mean as they want.

And like @youngbloodbuzz said in the link above, you start to look at their past behaviors in a new light. Were they genuinely upset at characters? Actors? Did they really feel like a travesty was occurring? That someone needed protecting?

Or were they just looking for reasons to call someone a “stupid cunt”?

It’s like they’re genuinely thinking, “It’s okay for me to make fun of someone’s physical appearance, call them intense names, make memes about how horrible they are innately, and send them death threats because they said something problematic once that a lot of people will hear.”

Sometimes they’ll call it “coping”, and maybe some people truly believe that makes it okay. But coping mechanisms are not above reproach.

If I hurt someone because I’m upset about something- even if I hurt someone because they did something wrong- it doesn’t erase the fact that I hurt them. We are still responsible to how we react to bad situations. We are still responsible for not reacting in an overly inflated way.

Sometimes people will focus on how those that they’re attacking have more of a responsibility to be good people. That they are but mere bloggers, screaming into the void. They can’t possibly be accountable for how they behave.

“I’m tired of talking about how bad the fans are, we should be focusing on what they did wrong!”

It creates an atmosphere in which an honest mistake from a well known person is much more crucifiable than the purposeful cruelty of the fans. We’re discouraged from criticizing popular blogs because the person they’re attacking has a wider audience and larger consequences for mistakes, as if popular bloggers don’t reach and influence thousands of people and as if we aren’t allowed to shape the way our own community functions.

Meanwhile, people who genuinely value morality and social activism fall prey to this thinking. They’ll even join in on the action, because they think it’s a moral act.

Rebellion, somehow. Righteous fire.

It’s a twisted mindset that spreads because people are afraid to be on the wrong side of morality.

Even people who really think the reaction is “too far” are quiet about it because they agree with the fact that what the offending celebrity did was wrong, and see that the level of vitriol for them now is overwhelming.

This is how I imagine that people who believe Melissa and Jeremy’s words to be homophobic but who do not think a couple of mistakes makes someone pure evil are relating to the current tumblr dialogue:

“Wow this thing was homophobic!”

“Huh, yeah, I agree. Maybe not intentionally, but yeah.”

“That means this person is homophobic!”

“Uh, well, not sure I’d go that far-”

“Oh and look at this other somewhat problematic thing they did a while ago”

“Hmm well that’s bad, but not everyone outside of social activism gets that that’s a bad thing, so I can see-”

“Wow did you hear that this person also has an opinion about the show that I disagree with! What the fuck is wrong with them?”

“Oh. Well I actually agree with them in that situation but-”

“Omg they think that their character is like this! Do they know them at all??? What kind of terrible actor doesn’t know their character?”

“Well that’s a pretty common way that people are reading this character. Just because you-”

“Here’s some conjecture about their personal life that I imagine happened that paints them in a bad light.”

“Well, you don’t know that, but either way you shouldn’t be diving into their personal-”

“Oh and here’s a totally real story from an anon about someone they know who knew this person in the past and says they were a jerk at this one point-”

And it becomes too much. If you don’t really love the actor, really love their character, you either extract yourself from the group or you ignore the opinions you disagree with.

It becomes quite clear that these people want to feel this way and won’t be changing any time soon.

And the more there seems to be a consensus about the issue, the less willing people are to speak out, for fear of rejection.

The Spiral of Silence theory is a good way to explain it:

To avoid isolation, people tend to refrain from publicly stating their views on controversial matters when they perceive that doing so would attract criticism, scorn, laughter, or other signs of disapproval.

Conversely, those who sense that their opinions will meet with approval tend to voice them fearlessly and at times vociferously.

Indeed, speaking out in such a way tends to enhance the threat of isolation faced by supporters of the opposing position, reinforcing their sense of being alone.

Thus a spiraling process begins, the dominant camp becoming ever louder and more self-confident while the other camp becomes increasingly silent.

Importantly, the spiral of silence occurs only in connection with controversial issues that have a strong moral component. What triggers a person’s fear of isolation is the belief that others will consider him or her not merely mistaken but morally bad. Accordingly, issues that lack a moral component or on which there is general consensus leave no room for a spiral of silence.

Additionally, I believe that if someone does speak out against the (perceived) majority, it is most likely to be someone who is very strongly opposing of it.

A person who believes “It isn’t homophobic at all! They are innocent!” is more likely to voice their disagreements than “Okay I agree with your assessment of the situation but I think maybe we’re being too harsh…”

So the “minority”- who could technically very well be the quiet majority (people with middle-ground opinions just don’t get as many followers)- stays quiet.

They might even change their minds to agree with the “majority”, over time.

Believing that the mindset of the group that you belong to is wrong is psychologically uncomfortable, so it is not uncommon for someone to try to adjust their thinking to fit those they feel connected to.

So, eventually, the only people who are speaking at all are those “majorities” who hate these people. Or those who act like they do for notes.

And then this thinking escalates amongst those still talking about it (remember: because it’s fun for them and they want to milk it for as long as possible) and it quickly translates to hating their character, once they’ve temporarily run out of material to be angry with the actor for.

So, back to your concern, how long until, “it’s hard to look at Melissa as Kara right now, because of how I fear she might feel about gay people” becomes something like “Mon-El is abusive, but Kara can choke so whatever” ?

(And on that note, one should consider how much they really wanted to protect Kara Danvers’ characterization from Mon-El’s influence, and how much was just a part of their hate-hobby.)

Maybe it won’t go that far. I hope it doesn’t. I hope people come to their senses about this.

But it’s escalated even since yesterday, when I started making this post. The language being used to describe Melissa when she is speaking normally, about normal things that some people have a difference of opinion on, is abhorrent.

So if you’re just trying to enjoy fandom in a peaceful and creative way, I encourage you to watch how the people you interact with react when something negative happens.

Are they disheartened? Crushed? Are they considering leaving the show and it’s fandom? Writing serious essays about how they’re hurt?

…Or do they come alive?

Are they incredibly angry, and then making jokes immediately? Memes and edits and creative content more so than they do on a peaceful day? Do you get the sense that they aren’t going anywhere, for a long time, even though they don’t seem to enjoy anything about the show?

Then you might be better off unfollowing them.

Of course, not everyone who makes a joke about negative things is thus enjoying it. It makes people feel better to make light of situations as well as to express anger, and doing so doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re drama-seeking.

And sometimes people slip into the mob more than they would like to have, retrospectively. Say cruel things that they regret later.

It happens, and tumblr can be a persuasive and pervasive place.

If you follow someone who initially reblogs some slightly overly hateful things, but who then backs off after the first wave, they probably aren’t the kind of person who is fueled by anger.

I’ve seen a lot of people I considered to be level-headed get wrapped up in overly aggressive, black and white thinking during the initial reaction to events.

But then sometimes, a couple of weeks later, they’ll post a tentative “Anyone else still wanna kinda like this thing, even though we said it was bad before?” and they’ll get enough approval via reblogs to feel like it’s okay to go back to normal.

Some blogs quietly sort themselves out, in the end.

And if you’re one of those people who goes overboard occasionally, I get it.

You’re hurt and you didn’t realize that the basis for the fan reaction that you were involved in was morally shallow. That the people you were supporting were not righteously furious, but using righteousness as an excuse to be furious.

But remember the message here: people make mistakes. It’s the patterns that really tell you who they are.

And I think we can be better. Have better patterns, as a group.

In the end, I encourage you to point out when a reaction is too harsh, toward anyone. Even if it’s difficult. Even if you agree that what the person did was pretty bad.

Agreeing that “black and white thinking” is bad can feel like you’re lowering your standards for morality. But I promise, you can still value the things that you value and loathe the things that go against it, without condemning someone’s entire personhood based on a mistake or a handful of mistakes regarding those things.

Even big mistakes.

People are complicated. We are all made up of really good things and really bad things.

It’s easy to believe that someone is wholly bad when they screw up.

The hard part, the part that will ultimately ground you and help you mature, is realizing that someone can have some really bad parts within them and still be good people. (I encourage you to remember that when thinking about yourself, as well.)

The trick is recognizing the difference between when people are making honest mistakes that unintentionally hurt people, and when they’re willfully behaving a certain way because they want to hurt people (or don’t care that they will).

And further, between when people are lashing out because they’re hurt and when people are inventing hurt to be able to lash out.

These distinctions will help you realize who you can guide or trust to work their issues out on their own when they slip up, and who you should distance yourself from.

Some very vocal portions of the fandom are, unfortunately, the latter.

#supergirl #kara danvers #melissa benoist #supercorp #sdcc supergirl #sdcc superfail #Anonymous

171 notes · View notes

sereniv · 3 years

Note

Hi! I want to ask you how reply to those who argue that we should not only tolerate but also support Indigenous traditions such as hunting etc. that involve animals. I come from an Indigenous community too (not in America) that was and is very much dependent on pastoralism and being shepherds and consuming dairy products. I don't eat meat but even I who don't live a truly Indigenous lifestyle can't leave dairy products 100% cause there aren't many choices here. I also don't think that everything Indigenous people practice or used to practice is inherently moral and shouldn't be criticized. It think that's actually quite racist imo. Thinking that Indigenous people are "pure and noble people" who can't be expected to change or alter any of their traditions that might be harmful cause "everything they do is right" makes no sense to em. I am critical of some of the practices of my people too. I always try to understand these practices and how they can be reformed/changed/altered. Of course we're not going to go to some remote location amd tell the hunter-gathereds not to hunt but those of us living in a post-colonial world definitely should start wondering how to minimize animal exploitation as much as we can and relaize that even if we need something to survive it doesn't make it morally right. I think we should start working on how not to be dependent on animal products to survive. It's not like we're going to be able to return to a pre-colonial era anyways.

EXACTLY. I feel this 100%.

For instance, I dont know much about what's going on in with the Yaquis down in Sonora but I assume its similar to what is going on with the Pascua Yaqui Tribe in Arizona, which is starting to work towards self reliance (which a lot of tribes seem to be doing).

This means fruits and vegetables of course, but also some animal products like fish, which can be bred and grown in buckets.

As a vegan, of course I hate the bucket idea. But as an indigenous person, or really anyone I feel would support this, I 100% support and encourage it.

I love that the tribe (can't remember who or where) recently was given buffalo. That made me cry out of joy because that is such a great thing.

Its not about picking or choosing more than it is understanding and being able to be logical about things.

Basically, culture and tradition are not good reasons to do something if that something has a negative effect on someone(s) other than yourself without consent.

BUT on the other hand, lot of cultures and traditions have been targeted by colonialism, slavery, etc and that HAS to be included.

(hopefully those 2 paragraphs make sense)

So those of us who are okay with breaking the mold, or changing, or just finding an alternative we should. For wakavaki, I can use vegan meat instead of cow (or masovaki(?) for deer). That is a dish that changes from deer, to cow when cow was introduced.

But thats me. it might be different for someone else. they might feel that an alternative takes away meaning or takes the connection away. And id say that then that is absolutely not practical for them to change.

I know that veganism is an animal rights movement. It is at its definition. But I full stop think the community needs to recognize the nuances.

And the thing is people don't realize that the ideas of Veganism is not going to happen in a few years, this needs to be thought of over maybe a few decades.

And in that time you have vegetables and fruits going down in price and becoming more available, you have less animals being bred- I mean too much to list

Bottom line is I believe if you can buy from native or black or any poc sourced seller, do so. I just bought some salmon from a tribe near me as a gift for family.

Otherwise, think about what you can do. You can still be vegan and eat animal products if thats literally all you can do. As long as you have the idea that we shouldn't exploit animals unnecessarily, then you're vegan.

And I include culture and tradition as necessity. for some people it is necessity, and some people of the same culture or tradition it isn't.

And when it comes to criticism, thats an intracommunity thing but also intratribal, and even then like someone like me who didn't get to grow up in the culture bc assimilation, should not criticize the practices of the Yaquis that did.

So yeah I could go on and on but I think you hit the nail on the head. ur valid af and sorry for not replying sooner (also sorry if I missed anything)

#vegan #veganism #indigenous #ndn #vegan ref #ask #anon

13 notes · View notes