#and all the people whove read these posts

[silhouettecrow]

365 Days of Writing Prompts: Day 308

Adjective: Kind

Noun: Crow

Definitions for those who need/want them:

Kind: having or showing a friendly, generous, and considerate nature; used in a polite request; (of a consumer product) gentle on (a part of the body); (archaic) affectionate or loving

Crow: a large bird with mostly glossy black plumage, a heavy bill, and a raucous voice; (derogatory) a woman, especially an old or ugly one; the constellation Corvus; the cry of a rooster; a sound made by a person expressing triumph or happiness; a member of a North American people inhabiting eastern Montana; the Siouan language of the Crow

#im very rather late again for this prompt #i accidentally fell asleep (ofc) and when i woke up for the day my phone was fully dead #so i had to wait for it to charge a bit before being able to work on and post this #so big oops for all that #i was so tired last night cos my girlfriend and i had done laundry #and we spent time with my parents (we played some games together which was lots of fun) #then when we got home my girlfriend and i watched some more orphan black and played a gam ourselves #it was a pretty fun and busy day #when it comes to this prompt i absolutely love it #if you couldnt tell from my url 'crows' are my favourite birds #i also dearly love all of the 'crows' from the six of crows duology and grishaverse series by leigh bardugo #when i think of 'kind' and 'crow' together i cant help but think of how helpful and generous 'crows' are to people whove been nice to them #so i may write a poem about a 'crow' returning a favour to someone #or perhaps helping guide someone who needs that type of help #i could also see myself taking inspiration from leight bardugos works (all six of the 'crows' are 'kind' in their own ways) #i am very excited about this one #thanks for reading #writing #writer #creative writing #writing prompt #writeblr #trying to be a writeblr at least #*game #*leigh #(sorry for all the tiny typos i was rushing to get this posted cos i was already late enough)

[alilweirddragon]

I have a "strong" character who hasn't ugly cried yet and I'm gonna fucking take advantage of that >:)

The fans ain't gonna know what hit em

#the people who read my books aint gonna know what hit em #im gonna make it fucking HURT #she hasnt broken down sobbing yet and i WILL BRING PAIN ONCE MORE HAHHAAHAHAHHAAHA #here are all these other characters whove broken down ans sobbed arkund her and shes just sitting here trying to be strong for them #TOO BAD BITCH ITS UR TURN NOW #i can post here because none of them know i have a tumblr I AM FREE TO EXPRESS MY EXCITEMENT- #shitpost #freshie txt

[littlestpersimmon]

it feels super disingenuous when ppl say YA is good bc it "treats poc and women good" .... those things don't make a good book, & also so many books have always depicted nuanced women characters and characters of color with respect eitherway. Let's not pretend ya invented # representation.

The way YA is marketed (and written) is just bizarre. It treats real actual demographics of people like cash cows. It profits off of diversity, it values tropes and marginalization more than actual substance, it mimics the way fanfiction functions but it's not as impactful because fanfic depends on an already established wold, you already care about these characters so that's why "found family" and "the same story but they're gay this time" works for fanfic.

In tradpub YA you get stories marketed like "the Iliad but they're women" or "this but theyre poc" which isn't problematic but it is derivative because it presents itself as only worthy of being read because it uses real marginalized human beings as selling points instead of writing about something you actually believe in. This is why you get stories centered by poc written by white people while the industry still exploits creatives from the global south, you'll get YA scifi authors who write about dystopias lead an nft ring that scams impressionable people, you'll read YA fantasy books that are, literally very shallow and insincere about societal issues because there is no nuance to it. It is literally the book version of buying a shirt at forever 21 that says "women are allowed to exist" which is harsh, but this truly is just the state of art under capitalism now. You don't get summaries on the back of tightly wrapped plastic books that you can't open, that's how you get agents on Twitter, "this story x this story but they're gay", it's the entire foundation of booktok, entire stories condensed into tropes because it can be condensed as such, because there's not much more to it. This isn't a post that's like "YA bad", my entire point is that under the American publishing industry, YA in tradpub is stagnating. It's crazy how people saw marginalized people want more stories to be told about themselves, and took that as something to be profited upon, like you take a very impressionable target audience (teenagers) whove been fostered by Online to want to achieve an impossible standard of goodness and purity and be like "read these to prove you're Not A Racist or A Mysoginist" instead of "read these for your own pleasure and to develop your own ideals." Like it's all so hollow. It makes the all-permeating, all-consuming, self consuming might of capitalism even more apparent.

Read more indie books for the love of G-d.

[mqole]

hbjhkgvhj ok here are uh. some character designs i did abt a year ago

these are all based on the incredible @kayzero's fic zero win game, which is a rewrite of ztd with akane as the protagonist, and it has possibly THE BEST characterization of akane ive ever read- listen just. just go read it you will be enriched i promise.

im not putting an image description bc i dont know where to start (sorry!!) BUT ill put a bunch of character design notes below the cut for people who are insane like me <3333

ok first of all. i know when i sent these to kay the other day they said there were some details canon to zwg that i missed (akane's lil hoodie pocket, aoi wearing white to contrast junpei's black (which is SO inspired btw.)) so just. PRETEND those are there bc i forgor <3

i spent the most time on sigma, phi, akane, junpei and aoi just because they've had multiple iterations of designs. it was fun to take bits and pieces from each version of them, so thats why they get a feature page

you can see a lot of my little pink notes with criticisms of the ztd designs there. in general, i really dont like the ztd designs, they all feel unnaturally bland to me (although thats probably also the artstyle).

most people whove looked into the colour symbolism in zero escape are probably familiar with the whole red/blue thing: that is, theyre colours representing the morphogenetic field. akane and aoi are the most obvious examples of this. 'aka' means red, and 'ao' means blue. in the first nonary game, akane and clover wear red - the colour for transmitters - and aoi and light wear blue, the colour for recievers. in 999 proper, akane wears purple, to symbolise how she can recieve AND transmit, while junpei wears red and blue by themselves. you can do a whole analysis of these colours and i will not put it here thats a whole SEPERATE post

anyway! the actual designs!! i'll start with sigma. i wanted to reconcile his vlr design with zero ii's design, and initially i planned on giving him a coat, but it didnt really have a nice silhouette, so i ditched that idea. instead, i turned his jumpsuit from vlr into a polo shirt - much like what he has in ztd - and gave him some zero-y accessories: the white turtleneck, the belt and the gloves all come from zero's design. once id included the white turtleneck, making the pants white felt really logical. in character design, its generally best to limit the palette of colours as much as you can, so it was a good excuse to reuse a colour while also paying homage to his ztd design. i also cut his hair bc hes a scientist and he'd do that.

phi's design is a lot more like her vlr one than her ztd design. the blue coat was her hallmark accessory, and im shocked that they ditched it for ztd, so i gave it back - along with her boots and hair accessory. i kept her pants and glasses from ztd, as well as the way the bottom of her shirt is tucked into her pants. they just have a much nicer silhouette to me. between my first pass of colours and my second pass, phi's colours changed the most - i realised i had too many blue guys in the lineup, and wanted to make the colours stand out individually. so i leaned into phi's orange-ness. giving her hair accessory, pants and boots an orange hue instead of a blue one, as well as shifting her coat to a more teal colour really helped make those colours pop.

AKANE MY BESTIE!!!! her design was probably the one i had the most fun with. i basically just took her ztd design and purpled it. I did want to include some more details though - her neck scarf was in both her 999 AND vlr design, so it felt wrong not to include it. i also added some gold highlights to her design, just to complement the purple - her boots are also toned yellow, so it felt fitting. the cut of her sleeves, as well as her hair, felt really natural: i gave her the side ponytail from ztd, while letting more of her hair fall to the side to retain her silhouette from 999. i stole the sleeves wholesale from vlr akane, but can you blame me. look at that robe. its so pretty.

overall i have mixed feelings on ztd junpei as a character, but i think his darker turn is at the very least a fun direction to take him. I do like the jacket he has in his concept art. IT SURE WOULD BE NICE IF THE MODEL ALSO HAD A JACKET. his design went relatively unchanged overall, i basically just retoned his hair, gave him a button-up instead of a t-shirt, and puffered his jacket. the red and blue from his vest in 999 is reused here, but in darker, more muted tones. you can see in the corner of the drawing i played around with swapping the red and blue, but the red focus felt too edgy for junpei. the blue also pops really nicely against his dark clothes, so i kept it.

anyone who has spoken to me for more than ten seconds will know how insane i am about aoi kurashiki i mean come on my name is santa. i think a lot about his two designs: that of the first nonary game and in 999. in the first nonary game he wears a blue scarf, harkening to his role as a reciever, but in 999 he wears monochrome. my personal interpretation of this is that his 999 fit was him purposefully disguising his connection to the morphogenetic field. so post-999, since he doesnt have to worry about that, i gave him his blue back!!! his general fit is the same- his pants and shoes are artistry so obviously i kept those, and i ended up making the rest of his look black to contrast his 999 design. if i were to redesign him now wearing white, id probably go a different direction altogether. that third little drawing ive included has some test outfits for him, carlos, and maria, but i never really went anywhere with them. also i gave him dark roots to show his relation to akane a bit more. and also because i like projecting my roots always grow back SO fast

that brings us to the 4 characters introduced after vlr: carlos, mira, diana, and... maria??? yeah like i said go read zero win game. do it. maria is such a fun character. she was, coincidentally, ALSO the only character where i had to design someone from scratch. you can see i fiddled a little with colour palettes, trying to figure out how to give every character a unique look. diana and carlos' designs actually go almost unchanged here- i think dianas design in particular is actually pretty great, and works as a nice foil to luna in vlr. carlos is just kind of normal. he can have his silly polo shirt.

miras ztd design is. ugh ok look its FINE but i hate the boobie designs in zero escape because they always feel like they were designed seperately from the character. mira in zwg is still a sussy baka, but she's a lot more cordial- i enjoyed seeing her more as a snake lying in the grass. I ended up giving her green because its a fun colour to give characters who youre meant to distrust. SO MANY TIMES reading zwg i was like "oh maybe mira's chill - oh wait maybe shes not - oh wait maybe shes chill again" and i love her for that honestly. she still gets boobies because i love women but i gave her a fun little long sleeved corset top. the amount of skin she shows directly correlates to the amount you should trust her (i am only half joking.)

i wont talk about diana because honestly the only change i made was giving her a little blue strip at the bottom of her skirt, but i'll talk about maria and carlos together. carlos i kept as a little pink boy because i love him and i love pink and listen its my character design ill do what i want. maria in ztd AND in zwg experiences reverie syndrome, which is connected to the morphogenetic field. her and carlos' designs both incorporate red and blue again- (just realised diana also has red and blue. pretend that was intentional) -to show their connection to the field. yes yes i know its pink but listen its red enough. like aoi, i gave maria and carlos both different iterations of their designs. i'm less sold on carlos', but i did actually like the baggier, heavy designs for maria. with those ones she looks more depressed than she does wearing overalls, so im calling that a win. maria's was the design i was least satisfied with overall, but hey i did these like a year and a half ago and ive gotten much better since then soo.

if youve read this far this is once again a reminder to read zero win game by kayzero on ao3

#mq arts #zero escape #999 #virtue's last reward #zero time dilemma #zero escape spoilers #999 spoilers #vlr spoilers #undescribed

[stackslip]

Thank you so much for your BPD post. I've had people judge me irl for going from openly identifying as bisexual specifically to IDing as Lesbian (with a secret Bi- for Cool People)/Queer/It's Complicated. And while some of that is genuine shift in my identity, a lot is about seeking medical diagnosis rn and being scared of a BPD diagnosis and I can't explain that to people BC I'm worried they'll take that as manipulative, too. Seeing people talk about how it's genuinely dangerous and how bisexuality is such a factor in the diagnosis is really fucking validating.

i rarely see people talking about the biphobic aspect to how bpd gets diagnosed—one of the main diagnosis criteria is about "disordered/unhealthy sexual behaviors", which immediately pathologises bisexuality and any kind of non-normative sexual behaviour from non-monogamy to having kinks to just enjoying having sex with strangers (and again if you're bi this is included in the non-normative, disordered behaviour). i remember reading how bi/pan women tend to have higher bpd diagnosis rates than heterosexual women and even lesbians bc of the whole "oh you're bi you cant choose a side so i diagnose you with manipulative slut disorder" and i mean i experienced it myself, with a doctor trying to diagnose me despite not even fitting *any other criteria at the time* except that my anger at the abuse i saw in psych ward counted as a "manipulative ourburst" i guess and me being perceived as a bi woman sealed the deal lol. so i feel you entirely, as an nb dyke myself

as a whole id argue that bpd and most psychiatric diagnosises are only as useful as far as they provide you with a community who might share similar issues and in rare cases, being able to support each other. certainly i know friends who are antipsych but id with bpd in terms of being able to better understand specific symptoms of trauma and find tactics to handle said symptoms better, as well as support others with similar delibitating symptoms. but this is what a shared community does that can be good—the truth is, bod and most personality disorder diagnosis are not just fundamentally flawed but used to deny any kind of care or help to already traumatized and depressed people. ive heard cases of "misdiagnosis" of bpd, but id argue any official psychiatric diagnosis is a danger bc it puts a target on you and marks you indefinitely. you could fit the bpd criteria to a T and I'd still argue that a diagnosis is a danger and can actively impede your access to care, and be used as ammo against you by doctors, healthcare providers, family and even random acquaintances because frankly, no matter how nice an individual doctor is, most doctors treat a personality disorder diagnosis as a way to say "this person's shitty and hard to deal with and should be kept away from healthy society" and it's also how it's used by 90% of people (whether in healthcare or otherwise) who love to have a way to distance themselves from Irrevocably Broken People and put any instance of abuse or poor behaviour on them. there's a much wider argument to be had about the harm of psychiatry as a whole, but i have this particular issue at heart. i know so many traumatized and abused people whove been retraumatized and frankly destroyed by being marked with this kind of diagnosis, whose abuse has been justified by their peers bc they have the Broken Slut Disorder or the Has No Feelings Disorder or the Selfish Cunt Disorder. which are all apparently Real and Important medical tool that serve an important function and should never be criticized lol

#antipsych #eli talks

[mummelthecryptid]

PEOPLE WHO HAVENT READ THE PJO BOOKS AND ARE CURRENTLY WATCHING THE SHOW DONT READ THIS POST ITS MASSIVE SPOILERS

the percy jackson show slowly sprinkeling in moments that paralell percy and luke is sooo delicious to me

like medusa comparing herself and sally as women whove been left behind by a god (much like may castellan), add percys rebellious attiute towards the gods which has always existed and some scenes that really feel like scenes taht could be used to foreshadow a villain arc (which we know percy wont have obviously) its all so good

#pjo spoilers #pjo #mummel brainworms

[blueiight]

🙄 srsly ur not even gonna publicly defend ur friend when u know folks are completely misrepresenting the situation (and lbr some of that subset of fandom were just waiting to take her down a peg ever since she suddenly got popular). hiding in vague tags when u see people straight up lying abt her is so lame.

Yk i wasnt even gonna engage u or any of these other anons whove been screaming at me since 9 am my time yesterday accusing me of defending harassment or accusing me of being a ‘bad friend’. but ig i got time this morning n ur my springboard for answering them all. I Been Getting phil jackson level of racist troll anons calling me slurs calling for my own death too [which is hilarious lol real deal ppl tried to kill me n im pose to fold cuz anon #50 said die blueiight! like lol ok. at least say it behind ur real blog] & accusing me of being in some evil posse or like u accusing me of ‘not defending ppl’ enough bc i made a half assed delete tag post b4 going to clean up my lab yesterday that essentially said dont use a black woman’s untagged readmore that mentioned nobody as an excuse to harass a particular black woman under the pretext of ‘defending’ much less blame said individual’s emotions for other people’s cruel decisions to harass others. i might as well elaborate. situations where real people are harassed or being talked about require more maturity + thought than someone having a bad opinion on a fictional dynamic. this is not a matter of people's biases impacting their fictional analysis. these are people's biases against real life black women impacting real life black women [albeit on the internet but real ppl r behind these screens!], and i am a black woman myself. im not some 2 faced friend or some anon harasser im a real black woman. n to anyone reading: harassment is not caused by someone else being ‘protective’, online harassment is motivated by an individual/s cruelty. individual writers venting on their own blog r not responsible for anyone else’s feelings or someone else being cruel. u r responsible for as an individual for ur own feelings n ur own actions. no one is or should be so easily influenced by anyone's venting to the point of going to harass someone else. that is not how harassment works and that is wrongfully scapegoating. unless u have proof of someone’s ip or even some conjecture like typing styles to where yk the @s of anyone sent so n so (which ik none of u can pull up bc theres no proof of such) or w/e, ur just talking shit & being messy. u would think a shared interest woud make yall wanna act like u got some sense but yall wanna act like the teenagers u were never allowed to be in cliques over 2d yaoi. why r all u , even other black women, always so fucking weird to black women? willfully misinterpreting everything we say, tokenizing individual black women& attacking when that ‘token’ expresses any sort of feeling like i need all yall to go do sum bout yall selves and get the fuck for real. yall run black women out these fan spaces bc of ur parasitic relationship to their work, then wonder why everything is so white. its cuz the only fan creators u treat like human beings are older white ppl or fans of color that reinforce their views. i see right the fuck thru all yall.

#yn. #yn answers #im not sure what u want me to do that wont draw even more hatred toward ppl #cuz idgaf bout yall hating on me i just allude to the hate ive got so yall dont think im being a smug asshole lol #im reticient bc i dont want more hate that a real person is already getting to go her way. #theres a difference between me railing on bad takes & me defending a real human being whos getting hate from other authors who .. yea #i cant believe i even have to clarify this but i do #Yall just want me to fuel mess to see black women make complete fools of ourselves so u can say see thats why they cant be in fandom #w the they or the woke or w/e racially charged euphemism u have #not to mention most of these ppl have me blocked for w/e reason thats their prerogative so id essentially be talking to a brick wall? #like other ppl send me this shit i aint checking for them? stop sending me or anyone else shit about this #its envy cuz she got more kudos or w/e than them or disliking the tropes she used? #now ppl use this situation as pretext to call her 'problematic' to excuse their petty dislike #even in the fandom space.. they was never teenagers in cliques so they live that out as adults on the web #im glad i got banned from stores + got toe up rl so i wouldnt be sonso age doing <-

[magnoliamyrrh]

hearing my professor say "sex workers" in class after and while literally and explicitely talking about nonwestern victims of sex trafficking using those terms like. im gonna eat my own tongue. im gonna scream so loudly and so silently it will burst my lungs. im going to become a black hole.

in general i find that term to be so fucking offensive bc it can only maybe apply to a very very small minority of well off economically privileged women who "choose" to do "sex work" (and even many of them talk abt feeling exploited - almost like prostitution is inherently expolitative wow) but. you know sometimes those "sex workers" are the only ones ppl rly picture, they dont picture street prostitution, hitckhiker hookers, sex trafficking, child sex trafficking, that the averege age of entering prostitution is 14, drug addiction, pimps, constant violence, etc

but. dear lord help me. in the context of literally taking explicitely about victims of "sex" trafficking in relation to poverty. to still have this postmodern god forsaken fucking nightmare so dug into your hear you say SeX WoRkErs;;; I ;;; I. Honestly im so offended. Its so fucking offensive. Like i almost wanna fucking cry. And she aint even white lmao shes indian like maam as a fellow immigrant please stop parroting the western bullshit i beg you. its so god damn fucking offensive and this bullshit is passed off as progressive and right and parroted by professors and taught as a given and preached and taught uncritically and then parroted by students and then. someone posts it online and some idiot reads it tells it to another idiot who tells it to another idiot. And then this insanity affects the whole westenrn "FeMinIsM" movement. And then, not only do I personally have to deal with a bunch of fucking idiots who have the gull to tell ME how the fuck I cant or can speak and how I should fucking feel when they dont got a single damn clue, BUT ALSO. this sort of cultural fucking idiocracy leads to real life impacts. Ala, western european states legalizing prostitution, thus the horrid rise of sex trafficking, child sex trafficking, child pornography, etc, of mainly balkan, roma, refugee, immigrant, poor, etc etc women. Ala, there was this article written by a Romanian prostitute in spain. She was complaining about how because of this sex work narrative now even more men come to prostitutes bc theyve bought this bullshit narrative of the "happy sex worker" so. now, they have to put all this extra fucking emotional effort into pretending like theyre enjoying what these men are doing to them and like they want it and all this shit. Which, let me tell you, its a whole lot easier to just dissociate when you get used to being regularly raped than it is to have to pretend like you fucking want it and enjoy it too. Something along the lines, these men want your soul not just your body, and this much worse...... And how, because of this, they also have to invest more in makeup and shit to look "well" which fuether just sinks them into the whole cycle which is quite hard to get out of. So. So.

As far as Im concerned. All the god forsaken postmodern nonsense that is propagated in western social sciences academica - has real life fucking effects. It has. The things written, the things discussed, the things professors say. Ive said before, that maybe postmodernism has some academic value (though we didnt need french people to be like, yo dude did you know multiple perspectives on life exist? inssne!). But. It doesnt fucking stay in academica. None of this bullshit stays in academica. And apart from this sort of bullshit not even being "feminism" and being inherently detrimental to the unity needed for social movements, inherently complacent, inherently antirevolutionary, inherently fucking REEKING of western individualism and selfishness up the fucking ass,,,,,,,,,it has real life fucking affects.

Westerners whove never fucking been through any of this shit sit in universities coming up with all these fucking theories but who pays the price. Who pays the god damn fucking price? Who? For their thought experiments? For these societal experiemnts? For these bullshit western ideas of freedom and progress and feminism? We do. My people do. We do. God fucking damn it

#Im gonna eat glass #Im not going to stay in academia but if i was. I think theyd kick me out of the anthropology department #before i got my phd #fuck this shit #Someone needs to fucking do something about it. Someone needs to fucking critique it form the inside #which i can actually say i did lmao because i <3 showed up at office hours <3 and uhh #said my peace. #which im sure she wasnt expecting but. im also genuinely glad she listened. i guess #its a big harder to just cancle someone or tell them to shut up #when they tell you frankly tat they were sex trafficked as a child and come from one of the sex trafficking #capitals of the world #like. <3 sorry lol i have more a right to speak then you! lovely! great! #i didnt direct it at her in particular lmao i went a roundabout way of critiquing what i called privileged western bullshit #but im sure she also got that I was biting back against the sex work thing while speaking abt fucking victims of sex trafficking #AND lmaoo i did go on a very short but well put together quip abt postmodernism being inherently individualistic #and detrimental to movements and literally funded by the CIA in class lmao SOmEONE NEEDS TO SAY SOMETHING #just enough to get people looking and curious and wanting answers and QUESTIONING THIS SHIT #i came back to this country after being back home having none of this shit dkdkd #............. how you can even be from india and admit you've seen the horrors of street prostitution and still propagate the sex work shit #in the same breath is beyond me #it really is #and how you can propagate these western narratives of individualistic ChOiCe #while also teaching abt nonwestern concepts which view equality and freedom in nonindivualistic terms #...... maaam...... how is the cognitive dissonance not hitting #...... this was some weeks ago but like. idk thinking back on it its like #again lmao. its so fucking offensive. its........ how fucking deep do you have to be to explicitely speak about sex trafficking victims #stricke by poverty and call them sex workers #..................... #... #like maam. maybe youve been in this country too long. maybe youve been in westenrn academica too long. its time to wake up a bit

[sango-obligato]

ughhhhhhhhhh a lot has been on my mind recently, im sorry im bringing up chip stuff that people just wanna forget, but. idk. i just need to talk. i really doubt anyone will actually see this but hey, its my blog, i'll ramble on about what i want lol

tw for suicidal thoughts in the "keep reading" bit below

back in february i made a post "calling out" gremlin + her friends as well as a little goodbye note to the fandom. recently ive been thinking about stuff more, wondering if maybe i should make a return and try to get my love for vosim back, but remembered just how much damage the fandom (more specifically, gremlin + her friends) did to me, my friends, yknow. everytime i thought about returning i'd remind myself i'd never go back. you gotta think: for months and months i was out there spending most of my time and energy defending my friends, trying to show people just how bad those people were, and after realising that nobody would ever believe me, i gave up. all of the chip shit i was dealing with really didnt help the fact i was battling depression + suicidal thoughts alongside all of that.

but, i dont know. recently ive just been craving the good times back despite it all, i want to relive the times where i'd stim seeing my friends' posts (especially the vosim art...,,,) and songs (one of the songs that made me stim like mad literally got me into sodikken months later lmao my hyperfixes are weird like that), i want to relive seeing the chip accounts interacting with eachother, in fact i was here wishing i joined the fandom properly a lot earlier because i really didnt want the good times to end.....

the fandom was my safespace for me. as much as certain people think im some "popular highschool bully who never grew up" (yes gremlin, i saw what you said about us, im not fucking dumb), i was being bullied really badly in secondary school, i was dealing with a really nasty breakup, my mental health was spiralling downwards really fast, i was dealing with people who i thought were my friends... you get the picture. with the fandom i was able to escape from all of that. and i'd escape by drawing vosim, usually creepy, pissed off or numb. it was stress relieving, it brought me so much happiness doing that!! then june 2022 came and it all went to shit since then. ha.

it hurts a lot. it really does. ive just been really empty since everything. i really don't know what to do or how i can move on from this once and for all. this was shit i was meant to move on from months ago, but it seems i cant even do that.

to my chip friends whove been here since the start: ive said this a thousand times + i will say it again: thank you. thank you so much for sticking around despite me struggling and moaning about all of this shit for months on end. in fact thank you for everything. words cant describe how grateful i am to have met y'all and i genuinely dont know where i'd be without y'all ;___;

ramble over i think.

#suicidal thoughts tw #how can i move on?? #harmony hollers

[violentviolette]

@hyenaswine replying here because i hit character limit in the replies (im the same person u were replying to, this is my other blog) no one is saying that but u, absolutely nowhere in the original post did anyone imply anything like that. the post was explaining what a boundary is and how to properly communicate and set boundaries. it was giving examples of healthy communication, that isnt victim blaming

i think u might just be very activated and in ur feelings about this, because u are reacting in a very angrerly defensive and accusatory way towards the nuetral and true statement that healthy communication includes being able to communicate ur feelings to others. which is something absolutely everyone is capable of. like i said before, it is difficult and hard work, and for those of us whove been abused before it can be even harder. its understandable to struggle with healthy communication, most people do, it's a process we all must learn and so it takes time to get there. but that doesnt change the fact that its both possible and neccessary other people are not mind readers, it is unreasonable to expect them to automatically infer ur boundaries, thoughts, feelings, ect. those are things that u must communicate if u want them to be respected because only u can say what they are. u cannot put the onus solely on others while claiming to be helpless and that there is nothing u can do. u have agency, and while u cant control others behavior, u can absolutely control ur own. so whether or not u choose to communicate is on u. that doesnt mean it isnt hard or that we wont mess up sometimes, no one is perfect, but we still have to try and if u choose to not communicate ur feelings and boundaries because its hard and instead expect others to read ur mind and infer what u need and then punish them without ever explaining why when they fail to meet that impossible request, then i hate to break this to u but they arent the one being abusive in this situation. u are

#jack.speaks

[star-struck-wonderland]

ooooooooo!! i know that book ^^ i follow her on my book instagram hehe i also wanna read that!! o: i’ve read verity by colleen hoover, i thought it was pretty good!! :3 i have…… lots n lots of books on my tbr.. but i am very excited for the third book in my favorite series, nona the ninth by tamsyn muir, n i’m really excited for velocity weapon by megan e. o’keefe, and lots of others… i love hearin u talk so you can share more too!!!!! i love books hehe 🥰💖 -🧸

Yeahh that's how I found out about her book! I love her insta hehehe! Verity is one of the ones that caught my eye, as well as It Ends With Us, All Your Perfects, and Reminds Me of Him. Those were the tops that caught my eye of hers!

Those all sound really amazing! I actually don't recognize any of those but I'll check them out! And if you want my TBR, dear, then I'll give it to you... I love love love talking about books hehehe! Ill put them under the cut though so the post isnt crazy long🧡/Lh

~Circe by Madeline Miller! I read the Song Of Achilles as you know and LOVED IT, and I want to read her other book! I bought it a couple of weeks ago and am just waiting for my eyes to get better so I can read!

~Carry On series by Rainbow Rowell. My friend is obsessed with it and I'm really excited to read it I just keep getting distracted haha!

~Red White and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston! It's a gay book that I really want to buy and read, along with They Both Die At The End by Adam Silvera🧡

~All This Time by Mikki Daughtry, The Sound of Stars by Alechia Dow, and The Chaos of Stars by Kiersten White, purely because their covers are so pretty and they were recommended to be because they're similar to one of my favorite books!

~The Ones We Burn by Rebecca Mix, which from my understanding is a lot like TSOA and is about Greek Mythology (love!) and the cover is soooo pretty!

~Cain's Jawbone by Edward Powys Mathers!! Omg you HAVE to hear about this book! So it was published with the pages out of order and not numbered! What you have to do it take out the pages and try to put them in order and solve the murder mystery puzzle! Only three people have been able to solve it, and it came out in 1934! It's soooo cool and I really want to try and solve it! There's 32 million possible solutions and if you get it right, you win $1,335 dollars (Which was claimed by the first and one of the only people whove solved it! I think it's pretty cool hehehe

~We Are All The Same In The Dark by Julia Heaberlin- Also recommended to me from TSOA, and it looks super duper interesting!

~Indigo Magic by Victoria Hanley! A sequel to one of my favorite childhood books thst I never knew existed! Sadly, I doubt I'll ever be able to read it since apparently it isn't available in the United States...🥺

And The Fall of the Readers by Django Wexler!! The fourth book to my favorite book series growing up that I so so soooo want to buy and read!!

There's more (my TBR is pretty long sadly) but I think that's enough😅

#Lex Speaks🍄 #answered ask #thanks for the ask! #🧸 anon #book rant oopsies

[solitarypisces]

Morning!!!! Here it is!!!!!

I look awesome, that’s what I’m gonna say right of the bat

But yeah!!!! Number 5 bby woo!!!!!

#Morgie’s Super. Dysfunctional. Halloween #id like to thank my mum for helping make this happen #and all the people whove read these posts

[romancemoving]

✨ *'ai no senshi' chorus voice* vowing in our hearts, soldiers of love!

01. NAME OR ALIAS : rae / diren. 02. BIRTHDAY :  december 24th 1991. 03. ZODIAC SIGN :  capricorn sun, leo moon, leo rising, scorpio venus. *cue honey cocaine’s ‘ I’M AN ASSHOLE. ’* 04. HEIGHT :  pretty average around 5′7”. if u see me in public taller cuz i wear platforms or super chunky soles most of the time and im too good to wear flat shoes... pretty hos dont wear plain sneakers. 05. HOBBIES :  music!!! listening to it, making it, critiquing it, dissecting it. i just started a rateyourmusic account so im gonna turn into a douchebag real quick. video games, cooking, skincare, makeup, nail art, reading, botany, documentaries, staring at shoes i really like...., roleplaying of courzeee, photography, collecting tacky 90s blouses, watching people argue on reddit. i love drama. what can i say. um... watching wrestling heehee. football. american football. not whatever u europeans are into. obsessing over cars i loooove cars. love lookin at em... love fixin em.... also just studying shit. i know an obscene amount of trivia about things from bizarre country border disputes to metaphysical theories and physics and the like. also ask me what i know about fashion. i know exactly what collection that belt buckle was featured in, in that runway post u reblogged. 06. FAVOURITE COLOUR :  burgundy. :)))!!!! i think........ 07.  FAVOURITE BOOK : ' love warrior ’ by glennon doyle. it’s so honest and gripping..... i rec it if you like nonfiction from people whove been thru it. 08.  FAVOURITE FOOD : bibim guksu, budae jjigae, butter chicken, avocado in everything, blackberries, greek salad!!! lemon pepper wings... i also fuck with diao xiaomian with chili oil!! 09.  LAST FILM / SHOW WATCHED : idk. i think it was ‘ all purpose cultural catgirl nuku nuku ’ lol.

10.  INSPIRATION : virote started off as an oc for a jrpg from a tiny little company u may know called square... ya know, kingdom hearts, etc etc. he was an oc for final fantasy x. he was a summoner, endowed with the gift to save the world. but he failed. mostly everyone he loved was taken from him and his journey was dealing with the aftershock of all of that but then he kinda grew into his own thing of an amalgamation of stuff. 90s pop culture, 2000s pop culture. trashy reality tv. art house films. 80s and 90s anime. some 2000s anime. ive watched so much anime, its fucking stupid. that obscure ova that hasnt had a physical copy since 1994? ive seen it. that weird ecchi one-off with a publisher that has literally no info available? i’ve watched that. manga that was only printed a couple of years around 2005? been there! also just life experiences. i’ve met so many crazy fucking people in my life.... done and seen a lot of crazy shit. never a dull moment in an alabama town where everyones high off their ass on meth! people tell me vi’s pretty real.... ya.... a lot of his experiences are real. down to meeting a guy behind a post office selling cough syrup from the back of his car. down to the bald drug dealer that pedals through the neighborhood on a little bike with a cute bell, wearing socks and sandals. city pop music too..... the magic, the sparkles, the twinkles. the wavy haziness of vaporwave. vi’s just this big, big reference i kinda love that. wish more people got said references. glkfdjglkdf.

11.  STORY BEHIND URL : it’s the from the og lyrics of the iconicccccccc sailor moon theme ‘ moonlight densetsu ’!!!!!!!

the moonlight makes me want to cry i can’t even call, it’s midnight but i’m so innocent, what should i do my heart’s a kaleidoscope

moonlight guides how many time we’ll be reborn counting the twinkling of stars predicting the course of our love because we were born in the same country it’s a miracle romance

a wondrous miracle approaches us we meet by chance again and again the countless shining stars above us foretell love’s whereabouts born on the same earth a miracle romance i do believe in that, a miracle romance.

✨ TAGGED BY: @antigoddex TY! ✨ TAGGING: @emptyvictory @debtwon @tckkis @starfoam @bruisedconscience @oddisms @guttersniper + ummm if u wanna do it ur tagged :),,,,

#( 🌙 OOC! RULER OF THE VOLCANIC DIAMOND PLANET. ✨ ) #/ ya .....................

[missed-connections-of-fear]

im sure there were plenty of zombie based hells in the fearpocalypse but can i get a HOOYEAH from my fellows in the zombies, run! based domain?? we were all wearing headsets and getting guidance and stuff - goddamn i did NOT expect my morning run to turn into literal hell. ANYWAY to my first radio operator who deliberately led me into a horde and laughed as i got torn apart and continued mocking me even after i turned into a zombie: fuck you!! i don't know your face, but i know your voice and i WILL find you if youre not careful!

to the person with the unicorn shirt: im really sorry for attacking you. i didnt want to but i lost most of the ability to control what i was doing after i turned not that it was okay. if you get in touch ill let you get some free punches in and we could go for lunch after my treat? you had really pretty eyes (would saying your blood was really sweet be a compliment or just creepy and weird? probably creepy and weird sorry about that) you did a pretty good number on my eyes before you turned and what was left of me kinda appreciated that because i couldn't see much of what i did after even though i could still hear it pretty well...

to the others: again im really sorry. i don't know what you looked like because of the eye thing but i was the one with cat ear headphones and blue shorts. offer of some free punches and lunch stands if you reach out.

to the second and last(?) radio operator i had after i...respawned(?): you did your best and it wasnt your fault i think all of it was rigged against us from the start. you sang to me as i turned something mournful and kind and words will never be able to express what a comfort that last bit of humanity was to me as i felt my own slipping away. id love if you could teach it to me someday. id appreciate not getting punched by you but offer of free punches and lunch (and maybe dinner?) stands if youd like. (if a lot of people take me up on the punching offer ill need a few days to recover before you get your turn just fyi for you and everyone else.) if you tell me your favorite color i could crochet you a scarf. something soft and warm to comfort you the same way you comforted me. would it be weird to ask to be friends? maybe we could be friends...

and uh, for anyone else who still plays zombies run! id...i still want to play its fun and i love the story but it might be easier if i could talk with other runner fives whove been through what weve been through. reach out if youre abel and willing please. (please no punching unless we actually met in the fearpocalypse though)

and rosie thank you so much for this platform and giving us the ability to reach out and talk about our experiences. im sure its hard to read these stories so please dont forget to take care of yourself too

This is a buckwild story. I honestly didn’t know what zombies run! is but I feel like I understand from the story lmao.

Also thank you for thanking me I guess. That’s a weird way to phrase that. But I’m glad to help others. And there is a reason that I don’t post all that many in a day (try to do two or three a day max), the time I broke that rule was ants anon because that was funny. Also they were really short.

#the magnus archives #unreality #unreality tw #tma #the hunt tma #missed connections of fear

[prpledusk]

PSA: Kids please fucking stop.

In regards to recent events I just wanna go ahead and make something clear about where I stand on certain subjects, I dont have a lot of followers and for all I know I might actually lose a couple by writing this but eh. Fuck it, its tumblr.

So my oppinion when it comes to children the internet. Kids are fucking stupid.

I say that not to be mean spirited but more in the sense of "Kids do stupid shit when given the power of anonymity."

Specifically they do stupid shit when it comes to nsfw content.

Throughout my time on Discord and tumblr Ive come across muiltible sitations involving both children and adults as well as controversial and nsfw content, from a child lying about their age to gain access to said content, to adults posting minor/adult content under mine and my friends noses, to someone actually attempting to groom a minor. Its the Kingdom hearts fandom, we've had problems with preditors, and people spreading things like noncon fics since the early 2000's! Put simpley Ive seen some shit. And have a zero tolerance when it comes to Minors on the internet for reasons dealing with experience and also for the fact that I have a daughter and plan to teach her Internet safety when she becomes of age.

So here's a few bits of advice to help those in the fandom and maybe to assist in understanding why children shouldnt be posting or activly participating and comtributing nsfw content.

Children are not permitted to post pornographic content online. Ya'll can write and draw it sure but do not share it or post it online. Its illegal and can get you in serious trouble.

Do not write noncon as it not only helps in the spread of rapeculture but its insulting to actual victems, especially in cases where you may not be cappable of understanding things like nuance or lack the world experience that would tell you w h y its bad. To top it off, most of the time these fics are written by children whove never hhadto experience such a thing and see it as just an edgy way to get their kicks which again, just rubs salt in the wound.

Kids dont have to tell you their age, but if ever theres something that requires age identification simpley say "I identify as an adult/minor". Or just dont identify at all and stay away from adult areas. Easy peasy kill me pleasy.

If someone says "no" or "Im uncomfertable" please. Back the fuck off. End of discussion.

Do not post, contribute, or even dabble in minor/adult things. Yes Im looking at you Akuroku fans. I wish you all a very perish. By comtributing any minor/adult ships all your doing is helping pedophilia and MAPs become more normalized and for a minor online that is definatly not a good because it increases the chances of you becoming a VICTEM of those people.

The amount of times I had to call out adults for thinking theres nothing wrong with minor/adult things is staggering and I want to swallow glass and grind my own bones because of it, but its worth it if it makes a safer inviroment for the children around you. That being said, adults reading this: call that shit out. You obviously dont have to if you dont want to but you'll be shocked how many people you end up helping because of it.

If a minor has been getting nsfw from you, block them and cease contact. Its really the best thing you can do, and Minors? Please dont interract with adult artists and writers, you wont face any consiquence for getting nsfw from an adult but the adult can be legally charged with distribution of porn to a minor you have the potential to ruin someones life and you do not want that on your conscience.

Kids? Please do NOT share porn with other kids? Thats distribution of porn to a minor, which a minor can be charged with.

This list may be subject to update but ya'll get the picture. Back when I was a kid I made a lot of mistakes and yes even I wrote some things that I wish I never did but the difference is I kept it all PRIVATE. I made certain that Only I ever saw that stuff and never ever posted any of it publicly, and dammit it hurts to see kids who already remind me of myself when I was younger make those same mistakes within the same fandom no less.

I remember demyx time and how it consistantly made noncon jokes at the expense of minor characters, I remember Saix puppys :You got served! and how the characters where constantly sexually harassed and molested for the funnies,

I remember the near constant stream of noncon fics and how NO ONE was ever calling out this behavior in the fandom but times have changed. The fandoms changed and most of those kids have grown up and are now highly against all of that bullshit from the past and are currently calling out shit behavior and irresponsible posting but thanks to those mistakes of the past kids today see things like pressuring people into things they dont want, gaslighting, guilt tripping, and streight up minor/adult ships are fine and should even accepted. Hell proshippings apparently a thing and the more I think about that the more I get the Frenzy status.

I want this fandom to be safe. I want peoplr to come to my blogs and feel safe. I want people to talk to me and feel. Safe.

So I guess hopefully people read this and try to understand the basic do's and donts of being a kid on the internet.

In conclusion

Kids need to practice basic internet safety and creepy adults need to fuck off into the abyss.

#psa #musings #rambles #kill me #kingdom hearts #pokemon #iunno if someone reblogs this they can add other fandom tags I aint ya papa #this is why we cant have nice things

[selenas]

Telling people not to use yesterdays horrible event as a means to spread your anti-muslim propaganda and islamaphobia because the deaths, injuries and trauma of those people and CHILDREN do not deserve to be used as some pawns to spread more hate and fear - the exact cause of their death - and somehow islamaphobes and white supremacists wanna think that means our first thought is about islamaphobia and not the people that were effected???

#like can yall not READ? ahsjsksk i #people whove made those posts CLEARLY say why the islamaphobia isnt okay and it all comes back to the children and families who are affected #and dont deserve this bullshit in their name