#and by bonus points i mean. bonus fuck you

[qu1cks1lversb1tch]

Hi! I just scrolled through your blog and loved your writing, so I decided to make a request! I was wondering if you could write fem!reader x Lucifer where they're kind of just hanging out but R is kind of grumpy and Luci is subtly (but not subtly cause lord knows he's too awkward to be good at hiding things) trying to figure out what it is. R kind of just dismisses him while scrolling on their phone and Lucifer's like "let me try something..." and just slides a snack to R to which she nibbles on and then becomes normal again. Bonus points if she apologizes when she realizes she was being mean without meaning to. Anyway, this got long. If you decide not to write this, I understand. If you do, you are required to drink water and eat a snack too at some point. Love you and your writing! <3

A/N — OOOOOHHHHHHH anon I love you for requesting this 😭💖 thank you so much! It's just a little short, but I wasn't sure what else to add lol

Hangry | Lucifer x Fem!Reader

Warnings: reader being a little mean, Lucifer being loving and understanding

Word Count: 489

Summary: Luci forces you to eat something after you unintentionally snap at him.

On a couch, in a palace, in hell, there was you. Glorious you. The very one who kept Lucifer sane — his Heavenly best friend turned perfect stepmother to his beloved daughter, which was a more recent (and super awesome) development. 

He could tell just by looking at you that you weren't exactly feeling the best — it was clear by the present frown and the way your brows furrowed every once in a while, as if you were fighting something. 

For a split second, he thought you were sick. But as he placed his hands all over your face, forcing you to look away from your phone screen, he soon realized that you weren't sick.

“Sorry. . .” He mumbled when you set your darkened glare on him.

You rolled your eyes, looking back to your phone. There was important stuff going on. Meetings to be scheduled. You didn't have time for anything else. 

“Did you sleep?” Lucifer questioned not even five minutes later. 

You sighed, irritated, practically growling out your answer. “Yes.” 

“Okay. . . Well how long did you —”

“GOD! Can you give me five fucking minutes to do my job, Lucifer!?”

He was momentarily taken aback by your harsh tone,  but then it was as if a light bulb went off in his head and he stood from where he had previously planted himself in front of you. 

Guilt began to settle in your being as you nestled yourself further in the couch to continue working. You hadn't expected him to leave — just maybe stop hovering like you were going to spontaneously combust and disappear.

You knew he meant well, but you just weren't feeling it. Any of it.

Five minutes later he returned with a plate that had your favorite sandwich and bag of chips on top, snatching your phone out of your hand and replacing it with the plate and a bottle of your favorite drink. 

You growled. “Luci—” 

“Eat.” He demanded, holding your phone out of your reach. 

And you did. That first bite of the sandwich made you realize that you hadn't eaten breakfast. . . Or lunch. . . You felt better immediately, which showed him instantly what the problem had been. 

Once you finished, you sat in silence, trying to figure our what to say. . . It ended up being a ‘thank you’ that was said so low it was almost missed in the quiet room.

“You feel better?” He asked.

“Yeah. . . I'm sorry I snapped at you — I didn't mean to. . .” You trailed off when he grabbed your face in his hands and forced you to look at him. 

“I forgave you the moment you started eating. Before anything, you're my best friend, and we don't need you being hangry.” 

“Wife.” You corrected with a slight smile.

“Even better.” He grinned, placing sweet kisses all over your face — even the tip of your nose. Yeah. . . You were definitely forgiven. 

So long as you remembered to eat and stay hydrated.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel imagine #lucifer hazbin hotel #lucifer morningstar x reader #lucifer x reader #hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin lucifer #lucifer magne #lucifer morningstar #lucifer headcanons #lucifer x female reader #hazbin hotel x female reader #fem reader #x reader

[raina-at]

Pride

Omg, you guys, it's the last one! Where did the month go!

A huge, huge thank you to @calaisreno for keeping is going the entire month, and a huge thank you to all of you for reading and writing and gushing and commenting and crying and making this more fun than it had any right to be. I'll miss this!

I did a Pride ficlet last year as a bonus ficlet because I missed two days. I had a lot of ideas for this year's, and maybe I'll post some of them as bonus ficlets through June, but for now, I say goodbye to May with John and Rosie.

--------

"Dad."

"Hmm?"

"Dad!"

John puts down the newspaper. Apparently this is a serious discussion. "Yes, love?"

Rosie throws herself into Sherlock's chair and contorts herself into a pretzel-like shape that can't be comfortable. "I'm...um..." It's apparent she doesn't quite know how to phrase her issue, because she's unnaturally hesitant. Sherlock's influence has made her shockingly blunt, while John's influence has made her shockingly foul-mouthed. Arguing with her is a joy. But now, very untypically, she looks confused and a bit lost.

"Ro, whatever it is, you can tell me," John says, leaning forward, a bit worried now.

"It's..." She sighs, looks down at her hands. "It's a bit personal?"

"Oh my god you're pregnant!" John blurts out, his momentary fear overriding his usually good brain-mouth-filter.

"Dad, what the actual fuck! I'm not fucking pregnant!" Rosie rolls her eyes so hard John wonders if she sprained something. "You know I'm on birth control. You went with me to get my first prescription, for fuck's sake."

"Accidents happen, my dear," John says, gesturing at his lovely daughter, who, light of his life, and joy of his world as she may be, was also very much an unplanned pregnancy.

"Fair enough," Rosie admits, deflating a bit. "Still."

"It wasn't a completely unreasonable assumption. You have a boyfriend, you're twenty, I'm assuming you're having sex."

"Please, dad!" Rosie exclaims, the tips of her ears turning red. "I really don't want to talk about my sex life."

"You think I do?"

Rosie makes a very Sherlock-like  'never mind all that nonsense now' gesture. "Anyway," she says, giving John a glare that tells him to shut up until she's finished. "It's actually kind of about Mark."

John nods, to let her know he's listening, but carefully and deliberately keeps his mouth shut, even as he's thinking, If he hurt you, I'll kill him so fucking dead so quickly he'll never know what hit him.

"It's... you know... he's... well, he's a boy," Rosie finally gets out.

John blinks a few times. Waits a bit. When it's clear Rosie won't be any more forthcoming about the issue, he dares to ask, "And?"

She looks down at her hands, studying them with unwarranted fascination. "I'm..." She sighs. "When did you know you were bisexual?"

John exhales audibly. Now he knows what this is about. In a family of mostly queer people, Rosie seems to have assumed she'd be some kind of queer as well. And if anyone knows how complicated identity can be, especially if it's weighed down by expectation, it's John. "Um. Quite honestly, I'm not sure I am."

Rosie looks up, surprised. "I mean. Mum. And Paps. Um. You know..." she makes a 'please fill in the gaps yourself' gesture.

"Look," John says, leaning forward and taking his daughter's hands. "I personally think labels are vastly overrated. If a word, or a label, or a phrase, helps you to better understand yourself, that's great. Use that label as long as it serves you, and if it doesn't anymore, use another one. As for me, I was raised in an environment where being different was bad. What kind of different you were exactly was completely beside the point. And I saw first-hand how the world treated your aunt, so I thought, best not think about it. I wasn't that attracted to men, it wasn't difficult to ignore. Until I met Paps, and you know how difficult he is to ignore."

Rosie grins. "Oh, yeah. So Paps made you bi?"

"No, you know it doesn't work like that. He made me... " John answers, smiling fondly at the memory. "Well, quite simply, he made me fall in love. He was—still is, of course—the most intriguing, gorgeous, infuriating, exasperating, fascinating person I've ever met, and I fell in love with him so hard, and so fast. But I wasn't ready, and he wasn't ready, and it took us years to get our acts together. And part of that was that we both couldn't accept a fundamental truth: The heart wants what the heart wants. Fighting against it only brings misery and destruction." He squeezes Rosie's hands. "So. Do you love Mark?"

She nods, her eyes shining with the truth of it.

"Is he good to you? Good for you?"

She nods again.

"Then who the fuck cares about anything else?"

Rosie's silent for a bit, apparently mulling over his words, still holding on to his hands. "So," she finally says, looking up from her joint hands with a smile. "You'll love me even if I'm straight?"

"Well, love, I suppose I can overlook this glaring character flaw. Also, you might meet a stunning lesbian when you're forty and she'll rock your entire world and turn everything you thought you knew about yourself upside down. And I want you to remember," he says, leaning in a bit more, looking deeply into her eyes, "I'm fine with everything, as long as you give me some grandkids first."

Rosie laughs and pushes him away. "Fuck off."

John gets up and makes his way to the kitchen. "So, sexual identity crisis over? You want to have some tea now?"

"Of course I want tea. But what you're saying, if I understand you correctly, is not to assume I'm straight just because I fell in love with a man?"

"I'm saying," John says, flicking the kettle on, "is that it doesn't matter, love. Gay, straight, pan, bi, ace, all these labels are useful if they help you understand yourself. But if you feel boxed in by a label, don't use it. Use another one. Use none at all. Let nothing ever keep you from knowing and understanding your own heart. That's the only thing that matters. I might be bi, who knows. The important thing is that I love Sherlock with all my heart, and that I made a commitment to him. Everything else is just noise."

Rosie is quiet for a bit, looking thoughtfully at the fire crackling cherrily in the hearth of 221B. "You're getting soft in your old age, Dad," she finally says, with a grateful smile.

John hands her a mug, drops a kiss on her head. "Love you too, dear," he says, smiling into her hair.

----

Don't forget that I'm collecting these ficlets here on AO3, and don't forget to check out the wonderful collection of May prompt ficlets as well. I know I'm already looking forward to reading all of them again.

Tags under the cut as usual.

@calaisreno @totallysilvergirl @jrow @peanitbear @jolieblack @meetinginsamarra @helloliriels @keirgreeneyes @lisbeth-kk @friday411 @givemesherbet-blog-blog @weeesi @thalialunacy @thegildedbee @dapetty @salmonsown

#johnlock #bbc sherlock #my fic #may prompts 2024 #pride #rosie watson #parentlock

[cedarxwing]

Absolutely FERAL over the hannigram privacy room scene...

Will is SO disgusted with Hannibal. From his perspective, either:

a) Hannibal thinks Will and everyone else is stupid enough to believe the copycat killer murdered the bailiff.

b) Hannibal is playing dumb to screw Will over in his trial, ensuring he'll get the death penalty.

c) Hannibal killed the bailiff but didn't do it properly on purpose to sadistically dangle Will's freedom in front of him before snatching it away.

Meanwhile, Hannibal looks sooo pathetic. Sad wet cat can't fool Will the way he could in S1 anymore. Ugh, step on him, Will. Squash him like a bug.

Hannibal's doublespeak here is insane.

"I wanted to dispel your doubts once and for all." <- Obviously, Will's first thought is that Hannibal means, "I want you to believe I'm not the copycat killer." That's the biggest "doubt" Will has about him, after all. But that makes absolutely no sense in this context, because how does a copycat murder happening while Will is in prison help prove Hannibal's innocence? It's doesn't! The opposite, in fact!

So we get a beautiful "what the fuck" moment from Will as he tries to figure out what Hannibal could possibly mean. Is Hannibal admitting that he did kill the bailiff on Will's behalf? Or does he only mean that he wished the secret admirer could be mistaken for the copycat, so that Will won't doubt that Hannibal is trying to get him out of prison?

"I want you to believe in the best of me, Will. Just as I believe in the best of you." <- Line that makes me want to throw Hannibal in a washing machine on a high spin cycle, because how does he always string words together into perfect optical illusions? He sounds like he's still trying to convince Will that he's innocent, but he really means, "I want you to believe that I have the best intentions for you." And to a normal person, "believing in the best of Will" would mean believing in his innocence, but of course Hannibal means that he believes Will is really a killer deep down inside. UGH.

But this is the moment that really does it for me. When Will won't play along with the bailiff lie, Hannibal throws a TANTRUM. Looking away, fidgeting, complaining that Will's locked away in prison like he's a toy his parents put on a shelf too high for him to reach. This line omits some sentences from the script, boiling them down to this momentary emotional outburst:

He's goading Will, trying to get him to participate in the "alchemy of lies and truths." Whispering, "Jack and Alana are no better than Kade Prurnell, lying about your sanity because they think you did it. They don't want you to walk free like I do. I'm willing to say whatever (or kill whoever) it takes to get you out of here."

And it works. Will ends up dropping his insanity defense. Is he so sick of prison life that he's willing to risk death for a slim chance at freedom? Or does he trust that Hannibal will do anything keep him out of the electric chair? The night after his plea of not guilty is ruled invalid, alone in his cell, is Will anticipating his own execution or the judge's?

Bonus points for Hannibal's pretty pink paisley tie and matching plaid suit. Babygirl dolled himself up before visiting Will. 💕

#hannibal #will graham #hannibal meta

[gay-otlc]

I headcanon this Male Blorbo (who i interpret as a cute feminine emotional etc uwu soft boy, regardless of whether this is at all how he is portrayed in canon) as a trans boy! Idk why but he gives off those vibes 100%

#bonus points if you interpret him as feminine/cute/etc because of his ethnicity or appearance or sexuality or him being neurodivergent #and by bonus points i mean. bonus fuck you #anyway. i could make an actual post about infantilization in transmasc headcanons but i like this better #inspired by ink's post

[britcision]

Okay so I fucking adore “Jason feels peace around Danny as the pit shuts the fuck up”

Now give me the slow burn

Just two lads trying to help but keeping it as not-weird as possible

Weekly coffee dates where Danny and Jason just… go somewhere

Read in the park

See a movie

Hang out behind a mall doing kick flips, whatever

Danny doesn’t wanna take advantage of the warm fuzzies Jason gets around him cuz they’re not personal, this is just…

A weirdly fast friendship speedrun

Someone who finally, fully gets him, and yeah, maybe just getting to be himself feels pretty fucking good to Danny too

Jason doesn’t want to impose any more than he surely already is, this is the Ghost King, taking time out of his schedule just to hang out with him so he can have some self control

He’s always and only a burden, Danny’s clearly just being cool cuz he’s the only King Jason’s met who actually fucking cares

He’d do the same for anyone

And so Jason tries to make sure they’re always doing something convenient/easy for Danny, something Danny likes to do

And Danny’s Physically Allergic to asking for anything or telling people things he wants or needs, so this requires Jason’s full detective abilities

And Tim’s but shut the fuck up no one will ever no Jason caved and asked for help

So when Jason sets up their next weekly sesh and takes Danny to the planetarium (maybe he was scared to ask first, maybe he was prepared to wimp out, it’s a surprise stfu)

And sees Danny’s whole face just light up

And they go inside, and Danny’s glowing in human form, bouncing from one place to another, gushing about everything

Jason knows he’s even gonna accept a favour from B to get the whole place to themselves for an overnight viewing

Cuz all he can feel isn’t just the soothing calm of the pit being silent, isn’t just the satisfaction of a job well done

He can feel the joy, the excitement, the radiant enthusiasm pouring off of Danny as if it were his own (and maybe something soft and small and fond that’s truly his)

And Danny

Danny’s a competitive little bitch

If we’re playing “Find Each Others’ Secret Hobbies” he’s got the god of software and his lesser subject Technus both on the line

(Technus stays Tucker’s subject instead of Danny’s until he can hack the PDA, it was a dare)

So he brings Jason out of Gotham for the first time (maybe through the zone, it’s fast travel either way) and they do Shakespeare in the Park

And Jason knows exactly what Danny’s doing (the bastard, this is supposed to be how Jason thanks him for this clearly super annoying favour) but he’s

He’s not had the chance to be soft in so long

To be the literature nerd he’s never left behind

It takes literal years for them to realize they’ve been competitively dating each other and everyone else is absolutely betting on when they will finally kiss

Danny moves in and Jason makes a joke about “well I guess we won’t need our weekly hang sesh” and Danny stares him dead in the eye, full Eldritch Horror

“Does that mean I win?”

So nah Date Night is permanent and eternal and every fucking rogue in Gotham knows to hold it sacred

#dp x dc #dpxdc #danny phantom #jason todd #slow burn #dp x dc prompt #i do not have the time or patience to write a slowburn but that doesn’t mean they don’t haunt me #jason x danny #bonus points if jason gets kidnapped once before date night and thr fucking ghost king comes for him #‘oh you were expecting batman? that’s adorable tell him hi when he gets here’ #danny fenton dead and loving it

[gay-jesus-probably]

Seeing as the Gerudo turned on Ganon, he might not have been that much better of a ruler.

First of all, we literally have no idea, because the only ancient Gerudo that we actually get to interact with is Ganondorf himself, and he has nothing to say about his own people. The ancient Gerudo sage doesn't count btw, she doesn't have a name, we never even see her face, and she has literally nothing to say except repeating the exact same dialogue as the sages for the other races. The narrative does not treat the ancient sages as people; they are four completely interchangable weapons that are owned by the royal family.

And secondly, I don't care how Ganon ruled them; the Gerudo only get one man every century, if their king sucks, they've obviously got their own system of government to fall back on. I have no idea what kind of authority the sages had among their own people, but honestly I'd say if the four of them were in charge of their respective people, then they were just puppet rulers appointed by Rauru, given that all four of them happily agreed that to sell their entire race into servitude the second Zelda asked them. Say what you will about Ganondorf, but I fucking know that if he was told the Gerudo people existed for the sole purpose of serving the glory of Hyrule, he'd drop kick Zelda into the fucking sun.

And don't get me started on the implications of the cultural differences we see between the independent Gerudo and the annexed Gerudo. The background Gerudo characters all have their own models, and we can clearly see that the ones siding with Ganon have their own unique looks - for example, the amazing lady with the mohawk that summons the molduga swarm in that one flashback. And men are never mentioned in these flashbacks at all, which implies that the Gerudo genuinely didn't care about settling down. Ganon even speaks derisively about marriage, implying that it's very rare for Gerudo women to make serious romantic commitments with men. It implies that their culture is more along the same line as their portrayal in OOT - they are a closed culture. Men trying to force their way into their areas are arrested, and mocked for being entitled dumbasses. Outsiders are only welcome if they can prove that they respect the Gerudo as people, and aren't just there to try and pick up chicks. It's never outright said, but OOT also makes it pretty clear that the Gerudo women just aren't interested in marrying outsiders - close relationships occur with other Gerudo, Hylian men are only considered useful for making babies.

Meanwhile the Gerudo we see serving Hyrule are all trying to measure up to Hylian beauty standards, and appeal to their men. Their one goal in life is to meet a man and get married. Men are welcome in their lands, and only kept out of the town itself... and even then, there's a small army of guys trying to force their way into the town anyways, which is brushed off as just haha, boys will be boys. No men allowed isn't even about independence, it's just a silly romantic tradition.

Of course this is just a fictional culture in a game world, but it's still really fucking uncomfortable that the 'evil' Gerudo are the ones that have independence, both politically and socially, and display a unique culture that refuses to tolerate disrespect from outsiders. Meanwhile the 'good' Gerudo are the ones that canonically exist to serve a kingdom where 95% of the population is light skinned (even setting aside the unfortunate implications, just saying one race exists to serve a different one is super fucked up), they have classes on how to be more appealing to Hylian's, and their entire social structure is built around finding a Hylian man to marry, making them all inherently dependent on the goodwill of outsiders. Even their biggest value of 'women only' is treated as a joke; men trying to trespass in BOTW are just shoved back out the door, letting them keep trying all day if they want. The crowds of men plotting to force their way in are laughed off as a joke. Nobody cares that there's a guy running laps around their city walls and trying to trick women into being alone with him. I mean for fucks sake, in TOTK we find that the creepy guy trying to lure women away has taken advantage of a massive disaster to get into the town, and he's still there once things return to normal. You can't kick him out, or alert anyone to his presence. And the Gerudo just tolerate Hylians blatantly ignoring their boundaries. For fucks sake, TOTK even reveals that the seven legendary heroines they've been revering the whole time were actually completely useless and unable to achieve anything... because they needed the eighth hero, a Hylian man to teach them basic tactics and do all the heavy lifting.

TOTK does not respect the Gerudo people in the slightest. It doesn't respect anyone who isn't Hylian or Zonai.

...This got a little off track, but the point I'm trying to make is, no, I don't consider the Gerudo turning on Ganon to mean anything. The entire game does not feel like the real story of what happened, it feels like the propaganda version of history meant to make Hyrule look as good as possible. I genuinely cannot believe that we're being told the real story about the Imprisoning War, because none of it feels real, and we don't get to know any details that might have made Hyrule look even slightly imperfect. We're told that Ganondorf is evil because he hates Hyrule, and he hates Hyrule because he's evil. The Gerudo people followed Ganondorf and saw him as a hero of their people, then suddenly he was their worst enemy. Hyrule is a perfect kingdom that has strong, equal alliances with the other races, but also all of the non-Hylian races exist for the sole purpose of serving Hyrule, and their leaders are expected to swear eternal loyalty and submission to the Hylian royal family. King Rauru and Queen Sonia united all of the races in peace and equality, which is why they're sitting on the world's supply of magical nuclear missiles, and every member of the Hylian royal family is allowed to walk around wearing them as cute accessories, but everyone else only gets them at the last second, and they all need to outright swear to only use that power to benefit Rauru and his descendants.

There's just so many fucked up contradictions, and so many hints of something more nuanced going on... but the story refuses to acknowledge any of it, and just keeps aggressively pushing the narrative that Hyrule is the ultimate good and couldn't possibly do anything wrong. I don't even believe that Ganon was a bad king honestly; we never hear why his people stopped following him. We also never even see if the Gerudo people turned on him at all; all we know is the ancient Gerudo sage wanted him dead, and given that she also happily sold her people into slavery, she's not exactly the most trustworthy source of information. All we know is that Ganondorf was a hero to his people, only one of his citizens is ever shown having an issue with him (and her motives are never explained), and then he lost the war and was sealed away, leaving his people open to be conquered by Zelda and annexed into Hyrule. By the time we see any Gerudo actually opposing Ganon (apart from the ancient sage), it's been ten thousand years since the war, and all anyone knows is the Hylian version of the story.

#tears of the kingdom spoilers #tears of the kingdom #ganondorf #the secret bonus reason for me arguing about this so much is that it's interesting #on a surface reading TOTK is a really boring story. nothing changes nobody learns anything there's no nuance #the game explains the entire story to us in the opening cutscene. idk why they bothered with the rest of the game #you could walk down those stairs in the intro and kill ganon immediately and it'd be pretty much the exact same story #if i take the game at face value then there's literally nothing to talk about. i just straight up do not care. #but analyzing all the fucked up implications nintendo accidentally included? now thats a story to talk about #i dont think ganondorf is secretly a really nice guy. i think he's more interesting if he's actually a complete bastard #but he's a complete bastard that has a point and if the game wont acknowledge that then i will #sure the people he's fighting against seem nice. but they're not actually good people #i mean ffs zelda certainly doesnt seem concerned that she last saw link taking a fatal blow for her then jumping into a bottomless pit #she doesn't even consider that he might be dead. or just unable/unwilling to fight after being horrifically wounded #at least BOTW had the decency to ask Link if he was willing to risk his life to fight ganon

[depressed-teacup-inc]

I don’t know why but I need a scene in Zukka fics where Zuko goes through his redemption arc earlier because of Sokka, but because of that Sokka has a very big target on his back from from the royal family?

Like imagine in the day of the black sun Sokka actually gets kidnapped in the middle of the battle to be brought in front of Fire Lord Ozai (as a method of basically luring Zuko over and also a means of demoralizing the rebellion and humiliating the guy that causes Zuko to defect)

And rather than have Sokka have this epic action-hero moment where he backflips and stabs Ozai he just??? Talks???

Like Ozai keeps trying to demean and humiliate the guy, but Sokka just verbally destroys Ozai, showing just how resilient he (and by extension the rebellion) is

I think it would be such a good moment highlighting Ozai’s pettiness and how he would actually try to destroy anything that gives Zuko joy, and just how powerful Sokka’s ability to speak is, and how he’s been able to convince and inspire people without a show of physical power but skill and intellect

(Imagined the scene to this song:)

#avatar the last airbender #zukka #fuck Ozai all me and my homies hate Ozai #I just think the scene would make sense #bonus points if Ozai initially broadcasts the interaction via fire nation intercoms as a means of humiliation #but that shit backfires so quickly #for a musical version of this scene listen to the old therebefore from TBOSAS #atla sokka #atla ozai #atla zuko #side note you know Zuko is fucking running to kick his dad’s ass over this #Spotify

[artemx746]

godswap au in which Ethan, Alabaster, and Luke are the sons of the big three, but their mortal parents were able to persuade two minor goddesses and one Olympian to pretend they were their children.

PLEASE THAT WOULD BE HILARIOUS.

Luke as a child of Hades with May asking Hermes to protect her son :((( May being so stubborn about wanting to be the Oracle that she doesn’t listen to Hades’ warnings about it and he has to deal being gone because of the prophecy :(((((((

Ethan as a child of Zeus sounds so funny to me. I imagine it took a lot of convincing from Ethan’s mortal parent to get Nemesis to claim him. I’d like to believe that Nemesis made him swear on the Styx that he could not tell Ethan who his parent actually was because in her eyes it would’ve been funnier if Zeus’s own son respected her more than Zeus.

Poseidon Alabaster but instead of his mortal dad asking Hecate it’s poseidon asking Hecate to claim his son like someone pitching a new show to a producer. (She only accepts because she has a soft spot for children and baby Al just looked too cute)

going into canon Luke is the only one who’s aware of who his father actually is meanwhile Ethan and Alabaster genuinely believe Nemesis and Hecate are their respective parents and they also both HATE Zeus and Poseidon. Shenanigans ensue while the big three are all freaking out over three of their children joining the TA.

#pjo #percy jackon and the olympians #ethan nakamura #alabaster torrington #luke castellan #poseidon pjo #zeus pjo #hades pjo #hecate pjo #nemesis (pjo) #hermes pjo #I like to imagine that Zeus and Nemesis have a conversation about her claiming Ethan that goes a bit like #“Why the fuck did you claim him” #“Claim who? You mean MY son? Who I sired? Why are you getting so hung up on that? It’s not like you can have children so why are you so mad #Yeah anyways I’ll just be away looking over MY son who’s definitely not yours K thanks byyyyeee” #Gaslighting queen #Bonus points if she still takes Ethan’s eye

[tediousdelusion]

the absolutely most chaotic modern steddy hands au i can imagine is established couple ed and izzy with recently out divorce attorney stede.

like, izzy and ed got married young. maybe because they were drunk in vegas. maybe for the spousal immunity since they are and always have been involved in some less than reputable dealings. but they aren't exactly a "real" married couple in their own minds even tho they live together and their lives are needlessly intermingled.

ed is going through his midlife crisis. he's unhappy, wants to find out that there's more to life. and izzy is done with his shit after the most recent flight of fancy. because i love irony, i think that he buys a boat and comes up with some flimsy justification for why he needs it for "business purposes."

and so izzy threatens divorce, like he has a million times. and ed doesn't buy it because izzy is all talk. but izzy is serious this time - or at least he wants ed to think he's serious - and so he goes and hires a lawyer. not some bus stop lawyer either, no. he wants the real deal and his name is on the joint account, dammit, so ed's money can pay for it too.

enter stede bonnet, divorce attorney at law.

stede is from one of those old legal families. his father was a lawyer and his grandfather was a lawyer and his great-grandfather was... well, you get it. and stede doesn't really want to be a lawyer, but he doesn't have much choice in the matter. his biggest rebellion is practicing family law instead of becoming in house counsel for an investment bank.

for forty-odd years he plays the part of the good son, well after his father is dead. marries the girl he is supposed to, has two kids, a nice house, a steady job. and sure, he's never really happy happy, but he's a divorce attorney! every day he sees marriages so much worse than his own that he figures what he and mary have must be the best a person could hope for.

until woops! actually, no! his marriage is just as bad as half his clients' and now he's going through this whole process himself and oh, yes, on top of it all, he just realized that he's gay!

so between chauffeuring the kids, reading about all the gay culture he's missed in the past four decades, and catching up on his other cases, he ends up meeting one izzy hands. sad case, stede hates to see the end of a long marriage, but it seems easy enough.

except things aren't easy at all because 1) izzy and ed don't actually want to get divorced and 2) stede is starting to fall for ed, izzy's enigmatic and charming husband.

ed is falling for stede, too. of course he is! stede is interesting and new - he comes from this old family tradition that ed's never seen before, but he's also creative and witty and fascinated by ed. and so ed takes it upon himself to help introduce stede to gay culture, preferably by a hands on demonstration.

izzy knows what's going on. of course he does. he's seen ed take interest in someone before, knows what it looks like. but what he doesn't like is that stede is starting to return his interest. stede is izzy's fucking lawyer. if anyone should get to fuck him, it should be izzy.

cue a series of rom-com style hijinks where ed and izzy are both trying to seduce stede, stede is trying to save izzy and ed's marriage, and all three of them think they know what the others want. for more angst and more comedy, you can throw in some actual ethical rules, like how lawyers aren't supposed to start fucking their clients. (there's also a lot of conflict of interest here but shhhhhhhh)

of course, this ends in a throuple. exactly how could go a few ways. maybe izzy walks in on ed and stede and stede is waiting to be fired, but izzy just loosens his tie and joins them in bed. maybe they make it all the way to the first court appearance and when the judge asks if they really want the divorce they're like, nah. he's shagging the lawyer but i guess i want to be fucking him too. maybe stede forces them all to go to lucius sponsored couples counseling and they get perma-banned when they start making out on the couch.

anyway, no matter how it happens, i think stede quits divorce work to become izzy and ed's criminal defense attorney and they all have a long and morally bankrupt good time together

#steddy hands #steddyhands #is it one word or two??? #izzy hands #i just think it would be funny your honor #ofmd #our flag means death #trying out just posting ideas that i wont actually execute #bonus points if izzy and stede actually meet before izzy hires him #like stede fucks up his car or smth and izzy meets him at the side of the road and is a real dick about it #and then shows up at the office like 45 min later to hire stede #the revenge crew all works for the firm in this #in varying roles #like i think that jim would be the pi #oluwande is the paralegal #roach runs the cafe in the building #frenchie would be better at the front desk but buttons would be so much funnier #ed this whole time is just making stede's job harder but more fun #stede: i am representing your husband in the divorce and i need to go over some papers with you #ed: okay i will meet with you but only at 8pm at a queer bar

[composeregg]

I just think Goro Akechi should get to kill Maruki. Let him have little a more murder, as a treat. He deserves it

#persona 5 spoilers #persona 5 royal spoilers #p5 #p5r #p5 spoilers #p5r spoilers #listen. #i did SO MUCH searching #i am a fucking ao3 tag wrangler i know how to search #what do you MEAN there are no fics of him getting to do this #like #not even for himself??? #like bonus points id love it to be #akeshu #but not at ALL? #no fun protective murderous rage? no possessiveness? #during the 3rd semester or post canon idc #how is there so little that i literally cant find anything #so if anyone has fic recs ig lmao #(as long as its not chosen bad end) #(or perma-bad end) #ak

[mo-ok]

Car Sentai little guys ❤️💙💛🖤💚💗

You might not believe in fairies, or aliens, or interdimensional robots, but that doesnt stop them from believing in you!

#turboranger #kousoku sentai turboranger #carranger #gekisou sentai carranger #go onger #engine sentai go onger #sometimes 'finished' and 'close enough' mean the same thing <3 <3 <3 #i fucking love bomper #and dappu #AND SHIRON #i dont care that they've romanised it as 'seelon' you physically cannot make me spell it like that #to be a CAR sentai the main teams initial mechs have to all be road legal vehicles (bikes and trucks count as cars you cant change my mind) #other types of vehicles (submarines/planes etc) make you a VEHICLE sentai (like boukenger or kiramager) #(the wings arent go ongers so they DONT effect the go ongers car sentai status <3 <3) #bonus points for wheels on helmets + member with a name ending in -'suke' #anyway enjoy some of my favourite lil guys ever <3 <3 #2023 art tag

[quietwingsinthesky]

im too tired to expand on this fully but consider: s10-11 au constructed around chuck not showing up late in s11 but instead joining up with the winchesters after Fan Fiction. specifically as chuck, not as god, though he is still that and not only a prophet anymore. but sam and dean don’t need to know that. they just know there’s a prophet-shaped hole at the bunker.

chuck being a reoccuring character in the background of s10. talking about the mark with sam, getting badgered by charlie about the books, helping to translate the book of the damned. as it becomes more and more clear that sam’s really going to destroy the mark, he. doesn’t do anything to stop sam. but there’s more and more times where chuck just looks uncomfortable. an emotion that’s a mixture of nausea and fear, that the winchesters can write off as ‘nervous weird prophet dude having an episode’.

watching sam and dean a lot, too. in a voyeuristic way, obviously, this is his whole deal, he set them up to be interesting to him, but there’s something else there. grief, maybe. jealousy, definitely.

i just think the whole ‘oh yeah he’s actually god for real btw’ set-up would be better if he was actually around for a bit more recently not being god. or pretending not to be god.

#and also because the tragic sibling enjoyer (<- me) wants to see him be fucked up about amara more #also because it would be so so funny for sam to be like I Am Getting Visions From God Right Now while chuck is just. sitting there. like 😬 #also also. because it would mean castiel gets to meaningfully interact with him. even if its not as god exactly. #but there’s something there. #also also also because this would be directly self-indulgent for my ‘god possessed chuck’ theory. at some point he should just flat out say #‘well yeah there was a guy here before me. you met him. he’s still kind of here because im him but he’s also dead in every way that matters’ #v nonchalantly. like this is normal and not horrifying. #bonus points if lucifer and/or cas are there when he says it and have Reactions to the implication of a vessel being taken by their father #without that vessel technically consenting to it. whether that’s frustratioj at him imposing a rule on them he doesn’t abide follow. or #horror at even their lackluster understanding of consent being fully ignored. or even jealousy that he gets a vessel so easy #chuck shurley #spn #he’s just a fucked up little guy. he should be around more. #i know theres the samulet that glows with god nearby but uh consider. it doesn’t actually work and never did. #and chuck just makes it glow when its time for his convenient reveal because he set that up and he can’t not fire chekov’s gun. #he’s a hack writer but he’s not incompetent

[twpsyn-who]

I keep on seeing these edits of Steve Harrington with that song, idk it's name but is like 'I just meet my dad in 1985' or smth like that and now I lowkey want a fic where this dude's kid somehow time travels and actually meets his dad in 1985. At this point I don't even care about the ship, I just want some random kid to show up one day, look at Steve and be like 'Fuck. Dad???'

Just imagine the comedy. But also the drama if it's either Nancy's kid or if Eddie's their other father- cuz I think by 1985 Nancy and Steve broke up already??? And she's dating Jonathan??? Gold. And they didn't even got to interact with Eddie yet so everyone is gonna be like 'Eddie??? The Munson kid???'

#even funnier if the kid is going around the town with the Party and at some point sees Eddie and comments like 'Damm. Father's hair has #always been that long???' and everyone is loosing their shit #i just need this little kid to mind blow everyone #bonus points if the kid knows a little bit about the Upside Down. not enough to like change some events/prevent most of the shit from #happening. just enough to make comments about it #like the whole mall things happens and they are like 'Huh. So that's what father (Eddie)/mom meant when she said dad got a bad experience #with the Russians' #or they just found Eddie and the kid is all like 'Ahhh. Now I see why you guys wouldn't tell me how you meet'. Stuff like that #also the kid calling everyone either aunt or uncle and Steve's heart is literally melting because that means everyone stays in his life for #good and that right therr is really his family #EVEN FUNNIER IF THE KID IS NOT AN ONLY CHILD and they are all like 'oh yeah I have five other siblings' #I think that's when Steve actually starts crying because it sounds too good to be true #stranger things #stranger things steve #steddie #stranger things steddie #or stancy I guess??? however you wanna play it man #i'm a multishiper first and whatever society expects of me later #is it the ship name stancy tho???? idk #even fucking funnier if the kid's other parent is straight up Jonathan #the kid is either having Will's personality or Erica's i don't get criticisms. #keep in mind that I didn't/don't watch stranger things so idk what's going on most of the time

[bewildereye]

starting off the year by redrawing a necromancer (old art under the cut)

#artists on tumblr #dark garden #redraw #this is like 7 years old holy fuck #anyway i might go on a redraw spree because I'm running a lil low on inspo lately #bonus points if you know what those flowers are and what they mean #oh yes there's lore #lore in the flowers. always

[naaddiie]

Congrats to malevolent for being the first podcast with point-and-click video game mechanics.

#bonus points for the 'running the fuck away' mini-game #tell me you get what I mean please anyone #malevolent #podcast

[iridescentis]

i think the reason why i don't read/write my sapphic ships very often is because im just jealous it makes me mad😭

like with guy characters i absolutely adore them and their dynamics but with sapphics its all of that but also like. do yall need a third. im free whenever.

#its actually upsetting #like ill read sapphic fluff and i just get sad #when is it my turn #i also feel like my favourite flavour of fics isn't really present as far as ive seen #like i want oneshots with a handful of angst and a confession #hurt/comfort with pining maybe inner turmoil the usual #bonus points for idiots in love #but none of my sapphic ships contain an idiot #i just need more ships i think #i mean this is only recent tbh #my catradora phase was a TIME #also puckentine <333 #ONE DAY i will write a puckentine fic #i swear #i have ideas im just occupied rn #if icarly wasn't CANCELLED i would have INSPIRATION #why do my sapphic ships have to be either so popular that sorting through fics gives me a headache #or just far too obscure that there's barely any #i know i should fix this myself but IM ONLY ONE PERSON #crying why am i like this #ive rewritten this rant 1000 fucking times #i will write some sapphics for pride though <3 #pride prompts save me #FUCK i haven't started them yet #IM STRESSED #I WENT FROM NO IDEAS OR MOTIVATION TO A FUCKTON OF BOTH #IM SWAMPED #I HAVE SO MUCH I WANT TO WRITE #AND EXAMS IN TWO WEEKS #i had so many more tags to this and tumblr deleted them fuck you