#and deeply question what I was doing

[infinitydusktilldawn]

Very little with so much [excerpt; to be changed] (minor swearing)

"I am right! You were wrong!"

She affectionally rolled her eyes, and hand out the thinnest file to Kim. "A particular chemical found at the site of our father's accident. It's not Cryo-gel, but it is similar." she sat down, reluctantly letting go of the file. The rest of the children also sat down around them.

Bryce was the first to speak up, "What's a guardian?"

Jacob thought back to the video that had been shared, in confidence by Kate the day before. ‘I'm tired of asking for help and being abandoned because of it.’ Even Kate refused to explain about that, which then he understood the damage Bryce had done by cornering her.

Shadow, lifted her leg onto the chair, allowing herself to prop her head up, as a sadness overwhelmed her. "Have to ask the hard questions first, don't you?"

This was a different person they realized, the caution to take a chance, but also the child-like naivety that does not match her age of 21, but of one much younger.

"Kate said that it's hard to say how long you've been awake for." Jacob began, "What did she mean by that?"

"The MDA, my home, is on a 48-hour cycle instead of 24."

"So everyday there, is two days here."

Shadow only nodded. "How long has it been for you, Kate? When I last saw you?"

Kate swallowed, "Seven years, give or take a few months."

Eyes widen, realizing what the true cause of the oldest sister's demeanor. 

‘There was an event, where I butchered any trust with Shadow. It almost broke our relationship. For me it was almost 2 years ago where I gained it back, where she forgave me, but I have to remember, that time for her was practically a few months.’ 

Jacob remembered Kate explaining why she wouldn't reach out on her own or move past from what Shadow prefers. He thought that she just took trust seriously, that the moment someone loses it, it'll take years for that to be gained back. Now, that he starts to have some background on Shadow, how old is his youngest sibling. "How long has it been for you?"

Kate gave him a shallow nod.

He didn't realize he's been looking to her for guidance, turning back to Shadow, she's in her head. Thinking, probably, how much is a good idea to reveal. 

‘I just wanted support; someone I could turn to that wasn't involved!’

"Three, three and a half years? Between all the differences it's hard to be concrete how much time had passed."

Rick released a breath, "How old were you? When it all started?"

"14." she stated after a beat.

"You're not 21, you're barely 17."

"Does that matter?"

"Yes!" Jacob shouted. "You are too young to be in a war, you're not even an adult!"

"What's done is done." Shadow sighed, not even bothering to observe the others. "Can't change anything, even if I tried."

Jacob's fists clenched at his side, trying to reign in the rage. "No, no. You have us, you won't be fighting anymore, we'll take over."

"Absolutely not." 

"You're not an adult!"

Shadow stood instantly, matching Jacob's anger with her own. "And what constitutes as an adult!?" she seethed, tired of the entire ideology that she wasn't old enough to make drastic decisions. "Age doesn't equal experience! If it did Bryce would be the child and you would be the adult! If age would be the requirement to take into account on who stays as leader in my war, it would've ended before it even had the chance to start!"

"What's that…?" Dean whispered, eyeing a blanket of black hovering off her skin.

"Back off that ideology, if you know what's good for you." she sneered, voice dropping as something overlaid her own. "Bluebird."

Kate straightened with the others, "Shadow," she called, noticing the slight black tinge in her own sclera. "Shadow!"

Shadow whipped to her, "What Kate?"

"Breathe." then pointed to her own eye.

Shadow took a deep breath, and released it slowly, sitting down in the process. Dean watched, apprehensive, as the layer of darkness disappeared. "What was that?"

"Nothing." both sisters stated, ending that topic.

"You're correct, it's not cryo-gel. It's not in any database." Bryce called, ending the tense stand-off after the conflict between the siblings.

"Chief is calling in some contacts at the other locations that presented as similar accidents to check their archives for a similar chemical."

"Chief Pitren?" Kim asked, already pulling up information on the man. "Chief Alexander Pitren, 10 years in the police force, and had conducted several successful sting operations. What did he do that he's got your trust?"

"Covered me when the two assholes put a bounty on my head."

"A bounty? Why?"

"I was trying to escape them."

Rick sighed, the others looking confused. "It would be easier if you told us what this is all about."

"Even I'm still lost." Osiris's voice escaped from the computer, "I haven't found anything…anywhere."

"Shadow, come on, they'd help." Kate tried.

"Or just get in the way."

"Jacob is going with anyway, at least for a short time. He'd find out anyway."

"And it'll be his decision to even tell that story." Shadow shifted. "I said I'd consider telling them if they were who you thought they were."

"And I'm right, so tell them."

"Still considering."

"Why?" Bryce asked. "We have the resources to help."

"Who said I wanted help?" she shot back, "As Jacob so elegantly shouted, I'm nothing but a child. How can I trust you take my decisions seriously when you couldn't even trust my word on the status of your identity? 

“I gave you opportunity after opportunity to ignore that I had any inkling of who you possibly could be. Secrets I take to my grave, of which you would have found out eventually if you'd just be patient instead of jumping the gun, because you are too fucking paranoid of not being in control of everything." 

Her eyes kept to Bryce's, who she could tell did not like that little spiel. "I don't blame you in being cautious when we first met, I would've done the same. The difference between you and me? I always give the benefit of doubt, that little ideology of everyone is innocent until proven guilty is what I live by with first meetings. Jumping the gun, because you felt threatened that I'd spill some secret that had nothing to do with me, when it was so obvious, I had secrets as well, should've showed that there was a bigger picture than what could initially be seen."

Clapping sounded behind them, Talon standing at the table with a tray of drinks in hand. "I've heard rumors of a young Guardian whose goal is to protect and avenge while trying to remain inconspicuous and off everyone's radar. A get in and get out mentality with as little damage as possible. It is good to meet you."

"I feel like I'm missing something." she whispered in response.

"Antione McGurdy had been a wonderful friend, he had explained some things about the pride he had in the young Guardian before he'd been killed in combat. Although, I have yet to get an actual report on who or what had killed him."

"McGurdy?"

Kate slammed a hand on the table, "Gurdy Goo!" still catching her sister's confused look, "The older guy who explained the alliance with Rus--Project Bio Storm!"

"That does not narrow it down."

"The guy that pulled you aside when Goran and Raine tried to reinstate the treaty."

"Oh, fuck." Shadow crossed her arms putting her head down on them. "He ripped the two apart, lectured them about proper behavior while telling me how well I did in deflecting during that meeting." her shoulders shook, "The first adult I finally vented to, he's the one that took me to Chief."

"Miss Guardian?"

Shadow picked her head up, which felt like a ten-pound brick, tears slipped down her cheeks. "He had been a victim of Project Paradise Bravo." she sucked in a breath, "The people who explained Bio Storm to me were punished for revealing that to a "civilian" and were part of that event."

"Did he suffer?" the butler asked.

"I--I don't know." the screams of those beasts ricochet in her head, it's not something she can forget. "He--no one were themselves in the end."

"Is he at peace?"

"Everyone who deserves it, is at peace." she whispered, the fight and lecture from earlier drained her, but they weren't done.

"That's all I ask, Guardian of Light."

Shadow whipped to him, not many people know of that title, she smiled, giving him a nod.

"What's the Guardian of Light?" Bryce asked, more towards Talon than a mourning Shadow.

"Perhaps I should explain what I know, then Shadow can explain in more detail, if she chooses to."

"I'm alright with that."

Shadow nodded, "Fine, sure." pulling out her phone.

"The grand Guardian of Light is rumored to be a goddess." Talon began as if showcasing a production of a grand scale. "She is an interdimensional or intergalactic traveler that has the Space-Time Continuum flowing through her veins. A practitioner of magic, her primary job is to protect the balance. Her enemy is the Dark Guardian, who travels through space to find the ultimate power source. Antoine had explained that he is a madman, but while the Guardian of Light was chosen, the Dark Guardian is a bloodline title. He mentioned that there was something special about her, perhaps it was her force to do good. A particular warrior who protects her own, and is willing to what was it…"

"Kill the cause to save the effect." Jacob whispered. 

‘You wouldn't understand that!’

Shadow glowered at Kate, who falsified whistling. There will be words later.

"Yes." Talon nodded, then began to pass out tea, a soft smile given between Shadow and Jacob. "It is because of that; many only see her as a part of the problem. That ability to bring back life if she chose to and take life just as easily. It is a legend, but just as we all know, legends have truth to them."

"So, there is a current war between both of these Guardians?" Bryce turned to look at Shadow, eyes narrowing. "Why hide this from the agency, or at all?"

Talon shook his head, "I believe it's because many who've become a part of the fight, are unaware of the true danger. Antoine had stated, "The war the Guardian leads in not for the faint of heart, those days are never-ending and long lasting. A single confrontation can be mere minutes before you realize it’s been months. It's not the war we've been through, it's a taxing of the spirit, and for that, I wouldn't wish that punishment on my worst enemy." The Guardian of Light has to draw a line between acting and ignoring, and not even the humblest of heroes can’t ignore a cry for help for the greater good."

"Why would anyone ignore a cry for help? How can a warrior of good ignore someone else?" Bryce asked, confused.

"It's a timeline thing, isn't it?" Kim looked to her.

Shadow tilted her head, "You have traveled through time and differential realities." a glow coming from her eyes.

Dean leapt back, "There's a darkness around you. What are you?"

She focused her attention back to him, the glow calming down, "Light refracts, and at the right angle can give an insight on what could be, and the dark helps stabilize the image from being too blinding. Giving details that can change what is seen, little details that can diverge the future from each individuals' actions and choices. Not many can see beyond that." she put the cup down, "You have been gifted the sight of both light and dark, the energy of non-connection, the pure basis of all magic. Due to this gift, you can see the aura that each person gives off, the more that can be seen the more danger they are."

Dean stared, as the glimmer grows and softens, the dark that normally would be center, surrounded her, as if giving him the attention to detail that she speaks off. It's not one color, but three. "Blue, pink, and purple?"

"Without the dark, you'd only be blinded." she easily releases some hold on the energy, "Your gift isn't full proof. Anyone else who is aware of the light and dark that they give off, can hide it." Then picked up the cup again, the energy she's aware of now being tapered off into the ultra-violet spectrum. Dean slowly sat back down. "Can--Can you help me? Understand these abilities."

"I don't know."

"You reveal that you know what abilities he has then just back off?!" Kim snapped, not the only one caught off guard by the change in attention. "Why provide hope for someone you're not going to support?!"

"Why would I help someone who could just become another victim?" she asked back.

Kim, and the others, seemed to settle, thinking about the question.

"They'd be killed in the war." Danielle stated, "If the enemy becomes aware of another, of similar or equal power, who won't join them or fight back, they'd be killed."

"Correct." she sighed, "My choosing of who gets involved is not just for shits and giggles, nor for dramatic effect. I've never once asked for someone to stay, they've stayed on their own, and I have never forced someone to abandon their life to serve me. The people who stay are those that are willing to put their entire existence on the line, to end this madman. The people I choose to not get involved with is because they are potential victims for just knowing me. He will kill them to get to me, and someone of Dean's abilities, just another higher priority target."

"So. you have to choose, if it's even worth it."

"Dean's abilities, are nothing compared to what he can do, not even close to what I can do. He isn't a threat, to either of us, but he can still be killed because it's too similar to a Guardian. People get killed for just knowing me."

"It's why no-one can get any information on her." Kate explained. "The Dark Guardian will no longer attack here, because he believes she has no more existence here. The best way to remain anonymously, is be known as no-one."

"Okay, but that still doesn't explain why you've been avoiding me." Dean stated.

"Magic, is complex, and each world out there has its own strand of how it works. Along with that, each one has its own flavor, some flavors work when mixed together and others don't. Your abilities are just different enough, that the Dark Guardian can taste the difference when there's another confrontation. He will come here, and he will kill you. Nothing can stop him."

"Except you, right?"

"According to prophecies, yes, currently no. I'm still not strong enough to even make dent against him. The only thing I can do is banish him temporarily."

"You said, I'm too close to being a Guardian, what does that mean?" "What is a Guardian?" Bryce tried again.

"Unofficially? A title, given to me in passing by those who truly know what's at stake. Officially, we don't know."

"Are you saying a Guardian is a species?" Osiris sounded flabbergasted. "How does that work?"

"From what we've been able to figure out…which isn't much, yes and no."

"I need to hear this."

"Guardians protect gods, those gods lead to the Grand Creator of the multi-verse. If one were to find the Grand Creator, and absorbed that pure energy, they world become the new creator, and essentially end every life in the current multi-verse for a fresh clean start."

Mouths dropped, and eyes widened at the implications.

"Your war is a literal fight to preserve life?" the choked gasp came from the speakers.

"Yes." she finally stated. "Sounds like a fantasy, doesn't it? Sounds like lies, like a want attention, like I seek out pity." she sighed again, trying to clear her throat. "All I want is to stop fighting, to relax and not figure out if the next person is gonna try to kill me or not. I'm tired, and there are days where I just want to give up, but I can't."

"Why, why you?" Jacob asked, giving in, pulling Shadow into his arms. He may have just met her, but he understood that willpower she's giving everything to keep fighting. He only tightened his arms around her when he felt her grip on his shirt.

"How can we help?" Bryce stood, wanting to go support her, to assure her. Shadow relaxed, "You can't."

"No, we will, just tell us what we need to do."

"You can't!" she pushed away from Jacob, slamming her hands onto the table.

‘I just wanted support from someone not involved!’

Jacob sighed, "Then we won't."

‘Shadow hates it when others get involved. The team she has, have dropped their personal lives for her, she won't ask that of you. We've agreed that she doesn't need support, she wants safety. Some place to be able to call home again. Except everyone she's tried to be for that, has either abandoned her, be a part of this fight, or used her when they've found the extent of who she is.’

#original work #long post #this is all concept still #like i have the basic plot in my head #but it's all the minor details #yes I've been writing the plot down #mental calculations put this in arc 3 or 4 #it's right before shadow (main character) eliminates contacts with her original home #kate (sister of mc) finds potential brother (bluebird) within secret agency #bluebird will become an empty character for fandoms to insert their h/c #along with a bill/conference/law that keeps the gov distracted for a mission #dialogue punctuation needs work #minor swearing #someone is gonna figure out the fandom characters borrowed #and deeply question what I was doing #feel free to ask questions #i do amateur art for this #concepts on alien plants and creatures #shadow is not her birth name #a lot of angst happened for her to gain that name #will be posting fictional lullaby and lecture #each one is missing a few things #particularly the lecture part #so much information in that #do not repost #please

[sluttylittlewaste]

It's wild how many people took Kristen's line of questioning as her saying Tracker isn't taking her religion seriously instead of what I heard her asking which was:

How many of these people would be here if it wasn't religious Coachella?

#also #some of y'all don't seem to realize that Brennan is referencing some very serious real world questions #of what happens when legitimate religious movements get turned into social clubs #and how that transformation often deteriorates the messaging and purpose of said movement #jesus and judas had the same conversation #it's a significant part of why protestantism even exists #did y'all not watch the Hillsong doc? #have y'all never been to an evangelical megachurch #when the church start using free shit and cushy rewards to get people to join? it's a dog whistle for them losing the plot #which Kristen 100% knows #which is WHY SHE ASKED #she's asking how many of these people give a real fuck about Galicaea #IT'S A VALID QUESTION #and it's important that Kristen #(who understands just how deeply Tracker cares) #can pull her back to the reality of what she came to Fallinel to do #let me die #if i die #d20 fhjy #fhjy #dimension 20 #kristen applebees #rant #tracker o'shaughnessey #trackerbees

[ducktracy]

compilation of my villagers bullying me. this will be a growing collection. these are all from today alone.

#‘but Eliza didn’t you start a new Wild World town on an emulator’ Yes #i’ve had this town for 4 years which is the best i’ve ever done LOL but my cartridge is showing its age and freezing and i don’t #feel like getting yelled at Resetti. but i dislike the controls for the ROM especially since my keyboard is weird #so we’ll make do. somehow #Purrl in my GC town was dumb like Purrl in my WW town i’m pretty sure i did a reset trick and cheated her in LOL #DUMB LUCK #which is what i’m vowing to stop doing by starting all these towns #‘don’t cheat or constantly delete your town to get good villagers’ is like the most basic thing you can do but my AC #perfectionism and neuroticism runs very deeply #when i was a kid if i got a villager i hated i would delete the town without question and would refuse to look at the screen. i hated Cesar #and Boone for this reason and them moving into my town is the worst thing that ever could have happened to me and it happened many times #because i was a RESETTING FOOL!!! #i love you deeply Animal Crossing but you have made me foster some incredibly odd neuroses #ac

[soracities]

People are wild lol rap does actually take a certain level of skill to both perform and understand, it takes five seconds of research to see that theres decent lyricism going on there. Lots of rappers are actually great at english, they dont all know the official terms for the things they practice but rapping is like a form of poetry really.

ofc there are subgenres that i personally do not like such as mumble rap (a conversation for another time i digress) but if you take for example kendrick's latest diss tracks to drake, its something that has to literally be studied and broken down by a bunch of people lol and once you break it down and understand the refrences you see that its not just a bunch of words and a beat. of course white people will think something they dont understand is ghetto trash what else is new lol they're the kings of ostricizing and devaluing what they dont understand. They did it to jazz they did it to metal and alternative music and they do it to rap.

At the end of the day, culture is a thing that will be understood by those who are meant to understand it. You dont have to like rap to acknowledge that its an art, but calling it trash and refusing to see it from any point of view but your own speaks for itself.

And for the record, im not a rap fan lol its a genre i hardly listen to in fact, but what i am is an artist, and i can acknowledge art when i see it.

i'll be honest, i don't think lack of understanding is solely what comes into it, if at all. the genres that get the most aggressive pushback are also ones that threaten a cultural hegdemony in their respective societies (white, male, christian etc) and that's not a coincidence. rap gets the worst of this and ultimately i don't think it has ever boiled down to not knowing what GOAT means and a lot more to do with overt and tacit hostility towards black people making outspoken art on their own terms in a deeply racist society.

but otherwise i completely agree with you! the lyrical complexity, rhyming schemes and dexterity at play in a good rap song is second to none and you could absolutely teach a literature class on it. it is as much a poetic medium as anything else while also encompassing its own deeply layered, complex and distinct sensibilities--just like, literally, every other art form on earth! to pretend otherwise is just ludicrous at this point.

#ask #Anonymous #literally the most common complaint i've heard since i was like 14 is 'its always bragging about money and cars and bitches' and its like. #ignoring the pertinent question of what bragging about power and material wealth implies in an #art form borne from deeply disenfranchised marginalised and unjustly criminalised communities...rap didn't invent bragging lol #and it certainly didn't invent bragging in verse bc humans have been doing that for THOUSANDS of years #literally that's what half the epic poem tradition is ABOUT and people just go up in arms when black people dare to do it. #but yes anon acknowledge art when you see it is IT i feel that way about dubstep i dont like it but im also not about to launch a moral #tirade about why my preference is CORRECT and an entire intricate music scene is WRONG

[moongothic]

#Moon posting #One Piece #You know what. Let's just do this for the hell of it #And FOR SCIENCE! #I was deeply tempted to title this something like ''Did OP make you trans'' or ''Did the OP Transgenderism Beam get you'' #But I wanted to be sure people actually understood the question so the Very Scientific Results come in clean #I'm just deeply curious about the numbers and the stats

[axolotlclown]

I watched Shubble's vod talking about abuse a few days ago and she said something that stuck with me. She told a story where her abuser bit her really hard in front of their friends. She yelped in pain and they laughed.

Men, when we see our friends make jokes about hurting women, don't laugh. Make it uncomfortable. It's not funny. This isn't a joke. You may not think your brothers and friends are abusers, but it doesn't mean that any of this is funny.

I'm certain their friends didn't think there was anything going on behind the scenes, but they should have. I could never even imagine joking about bringing harm to my partner. I'm sure most of them couldn't either. We need to stay vigilant and critical of the ways we carry ourselves around others. What does our laughter signal to the women around us?

My brothers, hurting women is not a joke. Don't laugh.

#i know the majority of the people were men #it takes one to know one #but its important #most of us will say we support women and stand against domestic violence #but none of us have the balls to do anything about it when its right in front of us #its important that men are the ones that stop laughing #i can tell you first hand that social pressure breaks a man #men value their reputations deeply #it hurts when its your brother and close friends that dont laugh #it makes you stop and question what youve done #anyway #it was a very good vod #and i know that it will help a lot of people in dangerous situations #i might make a separate post about it bc i knew a lot of men like her abuser and i know exactly what goes on in their head #to anyone that may need to hear #if they just arent in a position to be in a relationship #dont humor them #thoughts of dante #shubble

[silverskye13]

Man why is writing so hard today? I literally sat down at my computer and typed for a solid hour and a half and it was utter garbage. But the more I looked at it the less I could figure out how to fix it! So I pulled up PS and decided to draw instead but every image just flew out of my head I couldn't do it and really I should be writing and man my eyes hurt. My whole face hurts kinda, actually, but my eyes really hurt and it's so hard to focus and it shouldn't be this hard and-- Jesus Christ it's 1am and I only got 3 hours of sleep last night.

#spazzcat barks #delete later #one of the silliest things about being Too Tired is your brain gets so confused you forget youre tired #and just end up being confused about why youre confused instead #why is life so hard why are my emotions eratic why do i feel like i deeply Need something that isnt food or water why do i long for #companionship but find talking deeply bothersome like im pulling from a dry well why do my eyes teeth face hurt why is moving hard why is #the very idea of doing literally anything so exhausting is this depression am i depressed have i lost joy in life what if my friends hate me #what if im worthless what if ive suddenly lost the ability to live a full and healthy life why are me emotions so eratic right now why-- #-- oh shit i need sleep #huh #how did i manage to forget that? #anyway im going to bed now lol #sometimes the Big Existential Questions have an easy answer and that easy answer is bedtime

[tswwwit]

Wait, does the cheating thing on the bond always works? bcs that would be kinda freaky for R!Dipper like imagine you get pinned down by someone in the corner of a br or smthng and then said person kissed you and proceeded to explode into red mist and you literally have no idea what happened.

Also, would the constellation mark be a "cursed" Mark over the years, like you would give birth to a baby and the doctor says "😟 I am so sorry ma'am,,, I'm afraid your baby has the Cipher Companion mark. ( could also be something equally as science-y like Ursa Major, Constellation Calamation, etc idk)" And you just burst into tears.

Would that mean that dipper would get into a special program(demon wrangling program or smthng, demonologist? Maybe)? Or would the parents hide it away hoping that Bill would never take their child away?

(Sorry this au is just very interesting to me,,,, I hope u get more motivation, keep writing author 💪)

These are all options! The fun part of reincarnation AU being left ambiguous is that technically any of them could happen.

#Answers #Okay but for full transparency #I never really figured out what the 'cheating' consequence is #It's a nebulous concept since I've never had to write it happening #And left ambiguous because neither of these two are into anyone else - and as a writer I like to leave my options open! #I would assume that one of the few things they agreed on when making the contract was that unwelcome advances didn't count as cheating #But that the villain in question would get what was coming to them. Very Violently. They wanna step on a landmine? Let 'em have it #Dipper would have made a frowny face at the violence but agreed. Privately thinking well that's actually a *bonus* #A built-in defense system of sorts #(Something Bill was also thinking but absolutely phrased in the possessive aspect) #Whether or not the Consequences kick in before they meet again - their equivalent of their vow renewal - is up for grabs #Dipper trying to fend off someone only to have them burst into flames and/or blood would feel a terrified sense of relief #Who knows! Maybe Dipper has protection but has a chance for other actions before they meet again! #But the odds of that occurring are very slim. Partly due to his general awkwardness #And distinct hesitation on Dipper's part. Even though he *thinks* he should be enthusiastic #He looks at the person he's in bed with and just. It feels weird. Maybe because he hasn't (in his memory) done this before #Great job Dipper!! Someone in your bed and the best you can do is kinda grimace. Real sexy. #If he does ever manage to get up to something it's not even a tenth of the time he has with his husband #Dipper reincarnations are all very unfortunately attracted as hell to Bill Cipher and they're deeply alarmed by it #I do like the idea of different parental groups finding Dipper's birthmark and having different reactions #Perhaps a random incarnation of one of his family members ends up in charge of him one time #The results would vary *wildly* depending on who it was #On a scale of Mabel Mom to Ford Uncle how are you preparing this person for his invitable enhusbanding #(Stan remains pretty much the same but has a lot of bad marriage advice) #Wow that's a lot of tags even for me #I am going to queue this and sleep

[carrotsnake]

the wildly different reactions you get from the yiga outfit show how likely you're familiar with them depending on where you live in hyrule. from merchants who say 'oh, a yiga are you? well i don't discrimate, anyone is welcome to buy from me :)' to the sheikah's 'link! for a second I thought my time was up...that outfit reflects a truly dark period of sheikah history. many of us have lost our lives to them. now change before i skewer you' and then gerudo travellers are like 'we don't talk to STINKY yiga boys. go eat a banana ugly!!'

#totk #yiga clan #tears of the kingdom #loz #loz totk #yiga #totk yiga #i have so many yiga thoughts that i don't know how to get outta my brain without it coming out like a garbled mess #and the gerudo soldiers throw you in jail #which makes me question if they ever have successfully thrown one in jail before because shouldn't they know the yiga can just teleport out #to the sheikah it's a deeply personal history and ofc they know a lot about their dealings #as they've likely watched many disillusioned young men in kakariko leave to join them. where else do they get their numbers #meanwhile for the gerudo these bandits just popped up in the desert one day and started beefing for no reason #mosquitos #shoutout to the npc who says the yiga have a 'handsome mystique'. this is what i've been saying

[dustykneed]

what was the first piece of Star Trek media you consumed? :)

Anon you have fallen for my nefarious schemes once again... (rips off disguise with an evil flourish) I may look like a trekkie, but I am actually.......

A trekkie who is a huge nerd at heart xDD. I got into Star Trek mainly through assimilating fanfic into my conciousness. I've heard my characterizations are surprisingly solid (YIPPEE) for someone who only vaguely knows what happens in canon. But I've never actually had the pleasure of going through any official Trek media yet! My one flex is that I have no qualms against spoilers of any magnitude lol.

I know this isn't Trek media explicitly, but in the spirit of responding to the sentiment behind the question, ngl, I'm going to have to go with Mythbusters. I honestly didn't really pay much attention to the Trek segments when I watched it for the first time (that being said, I *need* to go back and watch the gorn cannon episode again omg). But Mythbusters was so formative for me because it gave me that push to get excited about science again after spending so many years defining myself as only an art/literature nerd when I was so excited about science when I was a kid.

I think in a sense, my interest in Star Trek is directly descended from the impact Mythbusters had on me-- and I think that's pretty neat :]]

#ace attorney reference who? 👀 #star trek #dust talks #mythbusters #thank you so much for the ask anon!! you prompted so many Thoughts and i can't thank you enough for that honestly <33 #bit of vulnerability in the house today lads! but i really can't express just how deeply significant mb and star trek are to me as a person #these shows are fundamentally about people who love what they do so very much. and that love means so much to me :') #that mixture of art and science!! storytelling and asking questions!!! that...love. #i think i *will* to boldly go. and i think that ill remember if it's worth doing then it's worth overdoing while im at it. #dust reflects #(get it. bc dust particles reflect light. ok ill show myself out loll) #tysm anon!! ily than you for stickin around #thank* #typos most beloathed....

[boxwinebaddie]

an uncle nina check in <3

hi team! thanks for sticking around! i know my blog isn't always the most exciting and enriching place in the world in terms of content, but i am very /content/ to have you all here. <3333

i promise, oddly enough, i have A TON of inspiration and ideas for all my weird styles ( if you're curious about anything please lmk! i've been trying to flesh out my aus out lately ), i've just been in a major bummer depression era lately, so it's hard for me to get my asks done and i'm having a hard time committing to finishing my writing. :<

i think it's because of stress and my bipolar, but i am trying to get back on the horse! ( are we all laughing at the idea of me trying to get on a horse? i'd start crying help city girl fail moment for me ) yeehaw!

and while, unfortunately due to the instability ( fabulous legendary iconery ) of my pretty girl popstar personality, i do not know whether i will be answering almost no questions or one million, regardless of that, i just wanted to let you know, i'm still here, still kicking my feet, twirling my hair, cooking...i'm just really trying not to force myself to put out anything i don't like...and only do what makes me truly happy.

however, nothing, my dear sweet e-darlings...

makes me happier than coming home to all of you. <333

so thank you for flooding even the darkest corners of my life with bright light, supporting my phantom fics and being wonderful,

uncle nina xx

#nina speaks #hi my loves #idk what the point of this was #i just know my blog is really inconsistent and i know i dont really post anything or anything that useful #but i wanted you to know that i love you very much and i still care a lot about all of you and all my content actually #which i have been fleshing out in notebooks and google docs i've been doing lots of world building and character study #so feel free to ask me something challenging about any part of my nina sp auniverse that interests u itll make my brain work #i've also been taking very silly but dilligent notes abt what ravesey style looks like for ter so if u want to laff at those u can #i just love taking notes on detail and understanding exactly what characters look like or what settings appear like idk #might be some experimental writing on here i like doing different mediums like i was being silly #and started writing a netflix trailer for rm haha i also have been doing weird personality tests and questionnaires #i've been trying to think very deeply about tkak and my tfbw styles if u have any questions there and am deep plotting rm #trying to be impactful while also keeping things fun and learning to enjoy myself again i suppose #so again thakn u for being here sorry its weird on here but thank u for supporting me as i learn and grow my sunshines #also ik i have a ton of asks and uve already asked me so many things so never feel inclined to message me #but i love hearing what ur curious about hopefully i can answer some stuff eventually but again im on a break #i'm here but i'm not this is a safe place we try and fail we have fun and promote style world domination thru my weird styles #ilysm i'm shutting up now i promise i'm still here i'm just trying to be healthy and happy esp rn when i am not emotionally well #gotta protect my peace and my vibe palace but im still here! #MWAH MWAH MWAAAAAH #really trying to heal my inner child or like the girl in me that liked to write silly stories and create crazy things #weird hcs big dramatic plots silly stuff...i want to honor that girl because she was happy and free and had fun #and i want to do that again so lets have fun guys #no judgement no seriousness just good vibes and good reads #welcome to the uncle nina learns to laugh again arc #i hope you enjoy it

[fellhellion]

apologies for yosukeposting and especially incoherently but slowboiling in my brain whatever the hell was going on w him in kanji’s dungeon. guy who slingshots between some kinda fraught observation that this is so much worse for kanji because it’s happening in front of an audience (over like. freaking out about it), furiously asserting that he’s heterosexual, insinuating danger but then also being the one who volunteers to take kanji home afterwards.

It’s sooooooooooooooo.

#I’m naurt. #conveying it well. #but there’s some kinda something about which elements prickle his unease #exposure to the wider community #the topic of sexuality that falls outside of what is normative being introduced AT ALL #but he’s. not scared of kanji. he never has been tbh #I don’t think he would volunteered to take him home and essentially make sure he got there safely if he was #imo it’s more that like. kanji doesn’t reject the shadow’s assertions where yosuke would #and there isn’t a world in his sixteen (?) year old brain where you SHOULDNT do that lmao #if you’re a guy you like girls and you don’t get hugged when you’re sobbing your heart out etc etc #a guy’s a guy and when that doesn’t mean what he thinks it has to mean anymore that’s deeply uncomfortable for him to unpack #it brings to the forefront his own doubts and insecurities #and kanji accepts that in himself where Yosuke can’t I don’t think #doesn’t question a lot of time and builds his identity around it #but he can’t erase the questions people like kanji and naoto raise because like. it’s intimately relevant to HIM lmao #and it’s how he understands a core part of himself #even if that’s built on sand #congrats! you’ve discovered the patriarchal and heteronormative hegemony! #tunes talks persona #I think it goes largely unspoken and deliberately avoided with him but what kanji wrestles w in regards to conciling his sense of identity #to wider society is like. that’s him too lmao

[chilapis]

Last post before I crash and no-one hears from me until I return from my first final the morrow’s eve (a changed man no doubt) but there’ll never be anything funnier to me than consistently being viewed as a composed and calm saviour by peers while I’m, actively and uncontrollably losing it.

#not said sarcastically or as a vent by the way I genuinely find it so terribly amusing. you think I have it together ? aw <3 you fool. #i’ve been pacing around my room like a starving lion since the past week in whatever free time i’ve had. #and i keep getting people in my messages begging me for last minute help ? which is endearing but. i’m hanging on for dear life myself #helping isn’t foreign to me; i have 4 (?) people in my class who almost exclusively refer to me as ma’am and even refer to me as a teacher. #but helping last minute is so. deeply chaotic. #and I have this issue with me where having others around me makes me immediately drop into a ‘role’ of sorts? #i’ll be freaking out but then someone else starts freaking out around me and my immediate response is to just. #hey. we are going to make it out of this. it’s easy as pie. do you see me worried? no right? <- on the verge of hyperventilating #there’s this one guy in particular who got so excited to find out we have the exact same examination set-up tomorrow. #i gave him like basic pointers and i don’t think i’ve ever been thanked so earnestly and desperately in my life. #i remember during mocks my friends would message me what I wrote in questions and then they’d immediately go oh thank Fuck. #they’d literally just act like they’re absolutely going to pass now just because we had points ​in common. #as if i’m some sort of fucked up correct answer sheet incarnate. #it’s genuinely really sweet to me though; like i’m not posting this ranting or such. #having so much faith in another to the point that you can put yourself completely at ease says. alot i think. #and i’m glad i can be that person for so many. #and I feel like it helps me in a way too because i become so concerned with others that I forget to drown myself in my worries. #i forget that I’m worried because there are others to care about and console and help. so i suppose they help me in a way as well. #but also who is going to be that person for ME. who is going to console ME. im going fucking neurotic /jest #<- woman with ego issues & control issues who would rather die than accept help. #sigh. oh well. I’m sure we’ll do just fine. cannot wait #🥀🍷 — colloquy.

[tomwambsmilk]

how do you think tomgreg would become canon?

I think if tomgreg became canon it would be accidental and stress-induced. I don't think, given the person Tom is and the kind of stress he's going to be under in season 4, that Tom would make any sort of deliberate effort to woo Greg, and I don't think it would even occur to Greg to make some kind of pass at Tom. I think a tomgreg relationship would come about the same way every deepening of their relationship has come about - Tom finds himself emotionally isolated in a high-stress situation, and consequently turns to Greg as an emotional outlet because the power dynamic means Greg can be relied upon not to run away. This has happened so, so consistently every single season that it's virtually guaranteed to happen again in season 4, and given that one significant source of stress in season 4 will be his relationship with Shiv, Tom making a sudden sexual pass at Greg in a moment of intense stress or emotional upheaval does seem very much in the realm of plausibility. And I don't think Greg would reject that, for a myriad of reasons, but mostly boiling down to Greg's own isolation and emotional reliance on Tom. If that happened, I think there's the strong possibility of a deeply dysfunctional romantic relationship emerging out of that because of who Tom and Greg are, and how they grab at any strand of genuine affection that's offered to them

#this is so unflattering to them lmao #but a canon tomgreg would also be deeply unflattering #again the question of 'what do I think would happen in canon' #versus 'what do I think would happen in the world of succ if the characters had autonomy like sims' #are two very different questions #asks #anon #s4 predictions

[batsplat]

A sentence in Casey’s book impressed me, even though he didn't name anyone explicitly

“Maybe someone who could put on the charm when they need it regardless of sincerity could have turned the situation around but I don’t have that skill.”

He totally gets that Valentino has endless charm, lol. I’m sure he felt it too when they hung out

yes!! this was about casey and his relationship to the fans wasn't it, and in a section of the book where he was talking about his rivalry with valentino, so hardly a stretch to say it was deliberately alluding to him. and of course casey talking about valentino's charm is not unrelated to how casey did seem to like valentino perfectly fine back in the day... how he said back in 2007 that he liked talking to valentino, that they generally talked about stuff other than racing, how valentino gets on with most guys in the paddock... though it's interesting (if not particularly surprising) how by the time the autobiography is written, casey portrays the early dynamic between the pair of them pretty dispassionately. just from the book you'd get the sense of someone who was coolly respectful of valentino until valentino started pissing him off, rather than someone who was... y'know, also a bit of a fan. somebody who got the valentino rossi appeal, shall we say. we all have our crosses to bear

which, I don't even think it was just about the racing. I doubt he ever wanted to emulate valentino in the same way jorge or marc might have wanted to do off the track, but stuff like calling him a "great competitor and a great sportsman"... that for years he'd been "dreaming to be like him"... that valentino and doohan were "the sort of people I wanted to become like"... I reckon that's a little more than simply respect for him as a rider, and I don't think casey back then would have said that stuff just because he knew it'll play well with the public. he found valentino exciting, like so many before and since have done - and still did so for the entirety of 2006 (he said more recently that he was even more impressed by valentino after that season, which is kinda noteworthy given that's the year valentino did, you know, lose the title). but then they became direct rivals, and. well

of course the "regardless of sincerity" in the quote is pretty pointed lol, like he does clearly see valentino as very two-faced and willing to spin a line regardless of whether it's true or not and also as someone happy to deceive others for his own gains. and his rhetoric has also changed just a wee bit since he published the autobiography on that count, where he more recently does stress how... well, he did learn from how valentino played the media! he learned how to get friendly with journalists! he learned how to play that game, of trying to win the public discourse! he might never have liked it, and he still probably would say like in the autobiography that this "charm" "regardless of sincerity" isn't something that he'll ever be as good at as valentino was. but he did dabble in the dark arts just a touch... I think one of the most interesting tensions of that rivalry is to what extent valentino forced casey out of his comfort zone both on- and off-track and ended up making casey adopt behaviours and attitudes he continued to find reprehensible. casey considers valentino 'selfish' both on- and off-track but to fight him both on- and off-track he became more selfish in turn... very dramatically compelling

anyway, here's casey chatting to fellow aussie jb when he's come to watch the podium celebrations after one of valentino's 2005 wins:

#casey girl what's going on with that collar situation... i think it's all one jacket which is if anything worse #he was nineteen here... look at him <3 #word on the street is jb pushed to have casey join yamaha in 2007 which is SUCH a fun twist on the whole casey/yamaha saga #kwisatzworld #// #brr brr #i find it deeply annoying that they could only properly compete for two full seasons buuuuuuuut #you DO have to say it's kinda interesting how it shifted their battleground.... #like valentino kinda got the better of casey in terms of the on-track stuff because they never GOT to have another real go post 08 #so bar isolated scraps like sachsenring '10 and le mans '12 the 'selfishness' question was never settled on track #BUT in terms of the afterlife of the rivalry... casey became ever more invested in selling HIS story of the rivalry #which ironically is something he would've CARED about less before he came into contact with valentino... #like all this stuff where casey keeps banging on about some of their Incidents is because vale gave him a lesson in public relations!! #it's soooooo narratively juicy because obviously casey wouldn't consider himself “dishonest” but it is!! playing the game!! #casey looked at the valentino charm and countered it with his own spin on the whole thing... and he's done a great job at it! #he's become a more effective communicator which you can TELL by how that rivalry has become reevaluated over time #and now again sort of ironically it's actually very lopsided in terms of who is still doing image management of that rivalry #i love casey soooo muuuuuch i feel like people just don't give him credit for what a complicated guy he is......

[tswwwit]

I think bill has a medium sized fanbase on the internet, like come on. A zesty handsome demon who has committed unspeakable crimes?... 5690 fanpages. immediately.

Anyways so, I think some people would argue which mortal bill had the most chemistry with, like

@.rotten2core: can we all agree that BC and his first mortal were definitely in love, look at how he's looking at 1 in that one clip

↪️@.hrts4ciphr: let's be fr for a second, they were just friends 💀 not to mention that 1 is just a random human, now 6. He was definitely simping for that guy, he has potential for magic an...(see more)

↪️↪️@.pwrflwr: WHAT. Dude, if I had to rank the stars based on how horny bill is for them 6 would be in the BOTTOM, even 4 gets more looks than 6. Op was right he had the most chemistry with 1.

↪️@.billcipherslefttoe: what are you guys on lol he makes those love eyes to every mortal he had

↪️↪️@.demoanologasm: demons don't experience love like humans do lol. He doesn't love any of them. They're just tools for him to use

↪️↪️↪️@.daddycphr: girl what?? Okay let's just ignore that one time 8 made a deal with billc to save a burning building in exchange for and I quote "another french kiss, like last time"

↪️↪️↪️↪️@.demoanologasm:well some demons get energy from intimate acts...(see more)

↪️@.bigdipconst: okay were just gonna ignore how all of the stars would, atleast once, wear MATCHING WEDDING BANDS WITH BILL??

↪️↪️@.demoanologasm: actually, that was a magical ring. Not to mention in demonic culture marriages usually is with a being that is equal with them. Bill probably just gifted it to them as some sort of tradition

↪️↪️↪️@.bigdipconst: tradition?? Yeah tradition of MARRIAGE.😭

↪️↪️↪️@.billcipherslefttoe:erm ackshually, that wash a *snort* magical ring👆🤓

↪️↪️↪️↪️@demoanologasm: do you just resort to mocking if someone disagrees with you?

Okay this may be too much (　-̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥᷄◞ω◟-̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥᷅ ) sorry, I have a lot of these internet in familiar au in my notes, with long internet convos

👍👍

#answers #I enjoy this ngl #Of COURSE there would be shipping arguments and discourse #I am deeply amused by the one insisting it's platonic because ofc someone would do that #If one of the re!Dippers asks which one was Bill's favorite mortal #He'd go obviously the first one!! Boy what a feisty little minx #See it's romantic because technically ALL of them are the first one!! Bill is so clever and suave #This does not go over as well as he anticipates it would with the Dipper in question