#and happen so very often:

[nutzo0001]

what grinds my gears, and happen so very often:

short post, and just for my blog (here just to have place to input it in)

0/27, 17/04/24 Random thoughts

many intenrnet posts about "how people love..." to be awake at 1-5am, "just to be in..." dark and silence, alone, with their thoughts - when one person pinpoints it, it is romantic for a while. but then, it starts to (get popular,) feel sacharine and there are copycats andcomments to it. makes one wonder ?how so?"

...

what to do? it feels like the best era already happened, and we live in the last era - last juice of past glory - pastiche of it. '97-'15 peak (/before big-media...). after that, culture and society went to era of "meta-criticism", being critical about why [it] is so critical... - gives me the same "vibes" as if... your dreams came true, - but then , as if - you start to feel guilty, lied to (sorts of "suffering from success"), weird ("and now what!") - similar to about any [post-revolution] (brainfog) zeitgeist - you got what you want(ed), - but how to assure this wont repeat, that [*this*] will not be took for granted (...), forgotten, and bagatelized - (new-)normalized, - simplified, and >> used in (some, pol.) future campaign , and or used in some form of (pol., soc.) coercion?!! - - just *another* status quo, "without" history!

(they npcs accept unacceptable)

#what grinds my gears #and happen so very often: #short post #and just for my blog (here just to have place to input it in) #0/27 #17/04/24 Random thoughts #many intenrnet posts about “how people love...” to be awake at 1-5am #“just to be in...” dark and silence #alone #with their thoughts - when one person pinpoints it #it is romantic for a while. but then #it starts to (get popular #) feel sacharine and there are copycats andcomments to it. makes one wonder ?how so?" #... #what to do? it feels like the best era already happened #and we live in the last era - last juice of past glory - pastiche of it. '97-'15 peak (/before big-media...). after that #culture and society went to era of “meta-criticism” #being critical about why [it] is so critical... - gives me the same “vibes” as if... your dreams came true #- but then #as if - you start to feel guilty #lied to (sorts of “suffering from success”) #weird (“and now what!”) - similar to about any [post-revolution] (brainfog) zeitgeist - #you got what you want(ed) #- but how to assure this wont repeat #that [*this*] will not be took for granted (...) #forgotten #and bagatelized - (new-)normalized #- simplified #and >> used in (some #pol.) future campaign

[chitinleg]

got him off-balance!

#my art #ds9 #star trek deep space nine #julian bashir #elim garak #garashir #watercolor #image desc in alt text #i normally post on mondays but. today im breaking my pattern! getting a little silly. getting a little wild. garashir jumpscare #“tumblr user chitinleg garak would neot easily let himself be swooped off his feet into a hug like that” yes i know BUT! #look at his expression. look at how his arms r pinned. he didnt let this happen LMAO julian just surprised him. grabby huggy human behavior #if you look really closely you can see the tiniest frown in the world on Garak's face. because he's like “EEP !” #cant see bashirs face at all in this only his body but i think we can all imagine that whatevers going thru his head. he needs this hug bad #ALSO. for anyone wondering what the fucked up shadow is that starts at the juncture of the teal sleeve-cap where its set into the armhole #the jumpsuits have a bit of a fold of extra fabric (called an Action Pleat) there which allows for a little more maneuverability of the bod #AND creates a really sleek and flat back panel #because you can see the fabric twists along the side arent grabbing the flat back fabric theyre grabbing the fabric folded beneath it #often times i think about drawing out a dissection of kiras first uniform and this voy era one for other artists to use. bc god knows #i struggled at first to find full body references #they like to shoot ds9 very close to peoples heads. and the camera is so blurry. they smeared butter on that thing. god bless

[shouldersshrug]

some of yall need to infantilize sam less. im all for different viewpoints on characters but sometimes it’s just downright disrespectful. “haha sam thinks chocolate milk comes from brown cows” that is a grown man who smokes weed and has a computer science nerd for a best friend

#sdv #stardew valley #just a personal gripe i have with a lot of posts and sometimes even some of the fanfic i read 😭 it happens so often #people dumb him down SO much even though he’s a very smart person. just not in the book smarts way #he is emotionally intelligent! he knows wtf is happening around him! he isn’t patrick star spongebob! #sam stardew valley #shoulder shrugging

[scificrows]

Okay, my brain refuses to think about anything other than Murderbot, so I looked at every use of the word "friend[s]" in TMBD and... created some pie charts. Normal human activities.

Some Thoughts™ I had while putting this together (under the cut):

In All Systems Red, Murderbot notes that the PresAux crew are all close friends (twice! and goes on to explain their internal relationships which I think is very cute). This is pretty much the only use of 'friends' in ASR, except for when Murderbot says that SecUnits can't be friends with each other.

It seems that this may be one of the first times Murderbot has ever really been around a group of friends before? Murderbot notes that this is not the norm for its contracts and admits that the fact that they are all friends and the way they interact with each other make it actually enjoy that contract (before!!!! the hostile attack, so it already enjoys this contract before they start seeing it as a person etc ghghhhh). [Inference: Friendship seems enjoyable.]

The first character that calls Murderbot its friend is ART in Artificial Condition. Murderbot immediately refutes this (and then goes on to call ART its friend to its clients for the rest of the book). [Inference: Maybe ART is Murderbot's friend. And maybe that is... agreeable]

Rogue Protocol has more than twice as many instances of the word 'friend' as any of the other novellas. Why? Miki. Friendship and its implications for non-humans are a central theme because Miki is friends with everyone. Murderbot initially scoffs at the notion that Miki and Miki's humans are friends. At the end of the book, after witnessing how desperately Don Abene tried to stop Miki from trying to save them, and her grief after its death, Murderbot has to admit that she had in fact been Miki's friend. [Inference: Humans can be friends with bots and can sincerely care about them]

In Exit Strategy, Murderbot tentatively uses the word "friends" for its humans for the first time (several times actually). It questions whether it can actually call them its friends or not and later realizes that it had been afraid what admitting that the humans are its friends would do to it. At the end of the book, Mensah tells Murderbot the PresAux crew are its friends, which is the first time a human has directly said that to it (at least on-page). [Inference: Humans can and want to be Murderbot's friends]

In Network Effect, Murderbot seems to be more habituated to the word 'friend', confidently calling ART and Ratthi its friends, like it is no longer just trying the concept on unsure if it fits. There are many instances in which other characters refer to MB as ART's friend or the other way around and Murderbot's humans refer to Murderbot as their friend several times. Generally, there seems to be less hesitancy, because yes, all of them are Murderbot's friends, why wouldn't they be. [Inference: SecUnits can have friends. This SecUnit has friends. They care about it a lot.]

Conclusion: The Murderbot Diaries tell the story of a construct that does not seem to consider the possibility of friendship for itself and is fine with that - until it accidentally starts caring a little too much and suddenly more and more people annex it as a friend (ew) to the point where it can no longer deny that this is happening and has to begrudgingly admit that yes, it has friends now and maybe that is actually not a bad thing.

#the murderbot diaries #murderbot #𓄿 #hi i'm READY to write a thesis about murderbot i am having way too much fun with this #i created a pretty excel spreadsheet and everything #i don't know why i did this but now i can look at them while i think about this more! so i figured i'd share them haha #i didn't count uses of 'friendly' but special shoutout to when MB is all alone in its cold cubicle missing 20% of its body mass #and starts putting on a show because 'the friendly noise would keep it company' 😭😭 #i feel sick thinking about murderbot all alone on its own not knowing what its like to have friends watching media for 'the friendly noise' #also YES okay i wanted to make a point about miki there but i just #couldn't bring myself to talk about that more so... yeah #also uhhh this data is very subjective #i didn't count particularly ironic uses of 'friend' and generally did not count every instance of friend and sometimes it was a hard call #also i probably shouldn't have counted the times murderbot refered to drones or secsystems as its friends (often after hacking them) #but murderbot does seem to care about them and shows kindness and respect and sometimes points out that a system is friendly #so while i don't think MB means “friend” in the same way referring to them as when it refers to ART for instance #i still think its CUTE and also kinda funny how many times that happened so i decided to keep those!!! #but yeah take my data with a grain of salt lol

[drawnfamiliarfaces]

hot man hot birdman im so sorry hot fire bird man?!?!

aka glorious gijinka!Tengu Jin design by @hirumi25 has made me 👀💦?!?! because wowie thats some hecking fire design!

and of course i couldnt just not draw Hirumi's Nomi-kun with him too

#rc9gn #rc9gn tengu #ninjanomicon #human!ninjanomicon #human!tengu #randy cunningham #howard weinerman #hirumi-san i feel like i should apologize because i got overboard a little (maybe???) but i really do love your art so much i often #scroll through your blog to look at it. alsofor calling you Hirumi-san in my head xD it just kinda happened and your name just sounds nice #saying it like that haha. hope you enjoy the sillies art tho it was fun todraw! sometimes one just wants to draw some cool designs ;) #listen i adored hirumi-san's art for YEARS because their First content is some fine food but this humanized tengu was the last straW #i spent days after seeing that art going WOAaaah because literally he looks so cool???? all joking about me simping aside its very silly #but i absolutely adore that you gave him little wrinkles under his eyes it makes him look so dignified and your outfit for him us just *MUA #i wish i could character design like that *sigh*

[puppyeared]

i like him

#somebody needs to keep me 8 metres away at all times or else ill start chewing on him #i just want everyone to know if i end up making a character who happens to resemble harvey in any shape or form #it probably wasnt a coincidence 😐and it will happen again #if i remember maybe ill try getting stardew when it goes on sale.. my friend showed me her farm and she named her chicken after doja cat #or maybe it was nikki minaj i cant remember. and she also said smth about monsters and passing out if you stay out after a certain hour #idk how accurate tht is all i know is the funny fucked up grandpas bed #i read somewhere that harveys supposed to be in his early to mid thirties and i dont have a problem with it but i think itd be very funny #if hes actually younger than he looks hes just a med school postgrad lmao. idk how well that headcanon would hold up since ive #never played the game and idk how often ppl talk about his age or if itsjust an implied thing. i just think its really really funny #im trying to get into the habit of drawing poses so im using reference images to try and build up muscle memory #i found some cute pictures of two ppl playing by the sea shore and it reminded me of xin and sailor so im gonna draw em like that #i havent drawn em in so long..... maybe i should update xins reference since i changed their lore quite a bit #myart #my art #doodles #stardew valley #stardew #sdv #sdv harvey #kinda wanna see him whimper a little bit. as a treat

[thekittyokat]

you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah

#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again #the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys #saw #well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand #know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows #your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman. #there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn #thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down #something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness #the transformation of a man into a monster #and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption #sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this #do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind. #the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore #it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating #fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn #i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him #until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else #well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God #where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium #anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus #maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man #i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed #if only he hadn't been weaponized first #god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already #but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there #rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts #ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly #cat chat

[wolves-in-the-world]

the thing about eliot spencer as a character, right. the thing about him.

(and as always your mileage may vary on my analyses so if we disagree that's cool actually)

is that he is in fact a somewhat emotionally constipated idiot who is occasionally sensitive about his perceived masculinity and gets defensive about emotional intimacy around other men (largely hardison, who's much more comfortable expressing affection and embracing a softer kind of masculinity), but eliot displays enough emotional awareness and sensitivity and respect for women etc etc that anyone who's been subjected to that era of television will put on rose-tinted glasses without even looking twice.

(and he is, don't get me wrong, incredibly emotionally aware for a professionally punchy guy with enough trauma to sink the titanic. it still startles me to see.)

on top of which we have the layers and the accessories and the excellent hair with the secret braids and the way he barely has an ego and he's good with kids and protective of his team without taking it too far, and some of us never stood a fucking chance.

#eliot #eliot spencer #orig #further discussion in further tags #I'm being perhaps a little critical and there are other ways to read eg the fragile masculinity moments #but I Do think they were intended this way and largely come across this way #I'm quite happy playing with a fanon eliot who's better at this shit is the thing? it feels faithful enough to the original. #but this is something I'm chewing over in a rewatch and it's interesting so far #the fact that he pretty consistently respects women doesn't stop him from treating men and women differently y'know? #the fact that his bantering with hardison expresses affection and gets quite soft over time #doesn't stop him from pushing hardison away on a semi-regular basis. often physically. #the fact that the fandom unanimously decided he's an utter gentleman in matters of dating #doesn't quite negate the time he physically stopped aimee from getting away when he wanted to talk to her #though that's one I might disregard because it's so early and I think they hadn't quite figured out the characters then #and it was admittedly a brief moment followed by very consensual happenings #perhaps. honestly. eliot may be reflecting the attitudes of the show here. #which were very progressive for the time and are still startling on several fronts now but also showing definite signs of age #arguably fanon eliot (as I understand him) is eliot adjusted for inflation. as it were. #there's a lot going on here I'm having a normal amount of thoughts about it I'm. stopping now

[midnightmah07]

#💙! mah's art #💙! daisy #💙! daiggie #twisted wonderland #twst #oc x canon #fanart #art #oc art #oc twst #twst yuu #yuu twisted wonderland #ruggie bucchi x yuu #ruggie bucchi #this us like #inspired by that once lady and the tramp scene #where she screams at him near the end and he's just so shocked and slightly scared #lady mad is very much like daisy when she's mad (which doesn't happen often)

[lunarharp]

more phoenix wright situations

#ace attorney tag #maybe i should tag this narumitsu or something. but i dont really care. #gearing up to rereading/illustrating bits of my fic i suppose...i think nick really is too dense to realise he's in love with edgeworth #without some scheming fop trying to intrude. i love villains like kristoph..villains can be fun..witnessing their pathetic folly.. #or more like edgeworth would never have mentioned his feelings ever in his life if he wasn't sure phoenix reciprocates. #i want to see it this way because Falling in love during childhood with the person you're going to end up with. is not relatable #there have to be Situations that make you Realise. #as with orufrey i adore the idea of people not working out their romance with that person until their 30s+ #but... i mean. even with orufrey i often think how alaira could be qifrey's ex. and oru having been pursued by noble fops through his work #there is that delicate sliver of time before orufrey start living together that such believable situations could have happened. #Then the relief of politely and amicably extricating themselves from those untenable situations #the idea of falling in love age 7 and saving your first kiss for age 35 or something is all very well but more relatable is #people realising how they really feel whilst trying something that ends up feeling wrong. #The comfort and joy of living with your dearest one as if it's platonic - much preferable to trying anything more with anyone else. #But i doubt i will ever portray that or mention it further. it is indeed very delicate to me. #and i really am an OTP FOR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! kind of person who can barely bear to consider this anyway...NOT a polyshipper i'm afraid ! #so i wouldn't mind either if they do have their first kiss in their lives age 35 with each other either. I would not mind that at all. #i love bi/gay couples apparently... bi father figures & their grumpy gay men waiting for them to work it all out... #not used to using colour in comic-style drawings..or at all..so this is messy and awkward looking..but colour is refreshing #i imagine i will go back to witch hat art soon btw. my destiny in life. #i still remember writing my nrmt fic expecting to write their first kiss & then partway through twas like Umm No. They have kissed prior. #does that really line up with this comic though... i think i had their early dinner dates/first kiss BEFORE disbarment. #so i guess this comic doesn't line up with my ficverse.... No..... U___U Oh well. sorry kris! <3

[botanautical]

THE DARK ERA - 黒の時代

(textless version below the cut)

#bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd #bsd fanart #bsd oda #bsd odasaku #osamu dazai and the dark era #a little dark era piece inspired by wanderer above the sea of fog by caspar david friedrich #i was intending to do a nice gentle illustration in honour of oda but it has ended up very dramatic as often happens asdffdgsd #and then i thought it would look quite cool as a book/movie cover so i added the text and made a nice mock-up! #i'm always keen to do artwork that has literary influence on the characters' birthdays so i might try to do another small little drawing #but i think i just wanted to represent how cool he is as a character! and how atmospheric and moving this arc is #i think it's the point which heightened my interest in the series - oda is so interesting and lovely #he is so fundamental to so much of the narrative too - it's quite fascinating #...also dazai is technically here but i won't tag him asdfgfdg #botanautical #tw blood

[idekwthmuistb]

So the students of Amity Park have noticed that when Danny Fenton runs to the bathroom a ghost almost always appears right after, right? Right. And eventually it becomes commonplace for them to mentally prepare themselves and to pack up their stuff when Fenton rushes out the classroom.

BUT

What about the few times where nothing happens? Cause now you've got this classroom full of kids who just automatically shove their papers into their backpacks and just...wait. They sit there, maybe making jokes about who's going to show up and at first it's all easy going but then. Then the anticipation starts to get to them. It's that nerve-wracking feeling of Knowing something should be happening But It's Not.

There's a slight buzz of nervous energy by the 5 minute mark where nothing has happened yet. It sets them on edge. Everyone is silent, shifting their gazes from the windows, the clock, the door, trying to spot anything of the usual. There's absolutely nothing.

#danny phantom #danny fenton #amity parkers #danny's ghost-sensing bladder #the special fear that comes from an absence of routine #idk it just sounds neat #and is a really cool thing to imagine #cause it's a side of unsettling fear that isn't used often in media #but amity parkers would definitely be affected by #because they are SO USED to everything that goes on around them #so to suddenly have something NOT happen where it almost ALWAYS did #would at the very least catch their attention

[taytei]

she’s been a character living rent free in my head for like 2 years, and i finally named her

#character design #original characters #character animation #2d animation #digital art #shart from the heart #my little shits #i've found i love defaulting to animating her when i don't know what to do #her hair is so poofy it's so fun #she's actually a very sunny and friendly person #i just happen to draw her snarky/spooked more often than not shaklhgsa

[sysig]

An eye for a life, unquestionably worth it (Patreon)

#Doodles #ISaT #Siffrin #Bonnie #Blood #It's been *checks watch* nine months??? since I last drew an empty eye socket??? #Not even ZEX got that treatment how could this be :0 It's such a Look #I guess it's only been a couple months since I posted Diaryfic!Edgar but that was drawn a while ago - Sif is new and fresh blood <3 #I'm sure they're stoked about it lol sorry Sif #That really was my entire motivation I just wanted to draw eye horror and blood on him lol poor Sif #But also I got to practice Bonnie :D Again I'm sure they're stoked about the situation #Gosh that'd be such a scary situation for a kid :'0 And feeling guilty about it weh </3 #Their name being called and it's scary and sad even tho Sif's just trying to comfort! Weh #If I thought about it in a Bit less of an angst mood (lol) I imagine the other adults would flock to Sif both to protect/help him #But also to keep him out of Bonnie's line of sight - the less time spent looking the less traumatic hopefully :( #There's something Very about Sif getting blood - his own or anyone's really - on his cloak :0 #Something he's had for a long long time and Something Happens - it's just Very I dunno of what but Very #Really fun to draw the black and white blood splatter ♪ Shaped character design paired with soft details ah <3 #I've been really into that hazy fuzzy eye style lately too it's really fun to ''tone'' the eye rather than ''line'' it #It's not something I think about that much so I don't do it often! But it's quite effective :D

[moeblob]

Haha, it's so funny how I am so indecisive that I go "I wanna draw my son" and then have too many ideas as to how. So here!

Take Ferdinands (and a Felix, I suppose, bc they are boyfrinds in my heart and soul).

#ferdinand von aegir #fe three houses #felix hugo fraldarius #and for those of you who might not know it i did have an au where ferdinand was a vampire #hence the fangs and wings teehee #but i also have an au where ferdinand is a fallen angel which isnt like he did anything bad #he simply gave up his angel life to be a mortal and devote the mortal life to very human felix #and it was actually a huge mess of a plot bc felix died in that plot and was brought back as if nothing ever happened #and ferdinand didnt actually know this happened so hes just super happy still bc he still thinks everything is good #and felix is stuck with a grim reaper and a soul dealer watching him and talking to him and no one else can see them #anyway ferdinand as always in that plot is a pure delight and felix has no idea he was an angel at some point #and in the vampaegir au hes a half vampire bc mom was human and dad was a vampire #so he kinda lost the SEVERE WEAKNESSES therefore is fine in the sun and yeah... still needs blood but not as often #also how dare i only draw a puppynand and not a ferdinyand i shoulda squozen a catboy in there #rip and also how dare i not draw my beloved dancernand #anyway thats the tags c ya

[emma-d-klutz]

People on here are always like, “I don’t know why modern adaptations always make Sherlock Holmes an asshole. He is extremely polite and nice to everyone.” 

Meanwhile you turn to the second page of any Sherlock Holmes short story, and he’s going on like, “Watson, thank you for making it! You know you’re the only one I can trust I appreciate you so much <3. We’re going to go assist our bestie, Lestrade, because he’s so dumb he not only wouldn’t figure out my insights on his own - he wouldn’t even understand them if I didn’t have you there to translate. Man, he’s so out of it, I bet he wouldn’t even have deduced which side of you was facing the light while shaving, which is so totally obvious, because you look like a depressed slob who doesn’t own a mirror on one side but not the other. He’d hang an innocent man. Go, team!”

Now if you want to argue that’s he not an asshole for that; he’s just a little too honest and his filter is a little wonky and it’s probably a touch of autism, that's fair. But this man is, like, northeast nice at best. He’s New Jersey nice. Helps you shovel your car out of the snow and lectures you while doing it nice. 

#and i love him #he's such a bitch #i have made this post before and i will keep making this post til y'all get it #sherlock holmes #i'm paraphrasing (very obviously) but this exact thing did happen and several similar opening conversations too #this is literally my favorite kind of character though #i mean obviously #as someone who talks about batman far far too much #gotta love an emotionally unadjusted bitch with a hypercompetent intelligence who secretly cares so so so so sososososoosos much #often not a secret actually #openly cares sos sos sosososososos much but doesn't always know what to say