being autistic and having a conversation with someone new (especially online and especially someone you want to be closer with) is like trying to navigate an overly crowded house filled with furniture when your head keeps bumping the ceiling and your arms and legs are too long. it feels so clumsy.
Brain fog. Whumpee feeling like their brain has turned into soup, all blurry and listless and exhausted, finding it hard to string together coherent thoughts, much less speak or act
I was always told that "ignoring" mental health issues is like ignoring a rock in your shoe, and I always thought that this frame of mind is almost this hyper-individualist, blaming of other people - that if you "let it get bad," you only deserve bad.
Sometimes, you don't know you have a rock in your shoe. Sometimes, people say, "everybody has a rock in their shoe! Stop complaining!". Sometimes, nobody will let you stop to untie your shoe and get the rock out. Sometimes, people slip a rock in your shoe.
I've always disliked this idea of mental health and illness because it almost... blames people for not "doing wellness" right. Wellness becomes a performance, something that is always your fault. While I do acknowledge that we are all responsible for our own development, actions, and behaviours, I can't help but feel like this attitude about mental health is reflective of the ideas of broader trends about "tie your bootstraps up and get over it"
the borgias is my favorite show and i think it's the best show ever made and all. however, there's just this one aspect that is genuinely hilarious to me and i mostly criticize the show for. the writers suddenly trying to make the viewers massively despise juan by turning against him and disingenuously writing him in his final moments so the watchers won't miss him or sympathize with him by making him a walking danger as an excuse to kill him off and prop up cesare's character. they wanted the audience to root for cesare at juan's expense and make his death seem necessary lol. they truly thought they served with this one, like maybe juan's character was shamefully abandoned by the writers (as well as his family except for rodrigo) but david oakes had many people sold with the way he played him to perfection, improvising and making juan remarkable, tremendous, and humane. the show is obviously a classic masterpiece, but in my opinion about the juan part, simply rushing the writing of a tragic dying character on a show for weak reasons is pure disrespect.
Phantom ghoul has restless leg syndrome. most nights hes fine but some nights he wriggles and kicks around in bed so much and he doesnt get much if any sleep because of it. and it makes him really sad too because he knows on nights like those he cant sleep in the same bed as anyone else because his wriggling would annoy them. one night he had to crawl out of Swiss' grasp and back to his own room because he could feel his legs start to grow more and more uncomfortable. Swiss managed to get Phantom to tell him what was going on and he lays on his legs on those nights now. the weight really helps lessen the discomfort and means that Phantom isnt alone