#and it just makes me think about how entitled people are about mentally ill people

[uncanny-tranny]

So I saw this show I used to watch as a kid on a streaming service, Hoarders, and it's about, as you'd assume, people who compulsively hoard.

When I watched that show as a kid, I remember how you were invited to almost... judge these people, "Oh, how could you live like that?! I'm glad that's not my house..." and I remember this shock factor that sunk you into the episode, at least in the early seasons.

I think it's a product of the attitude we have about these sorts of things. When I look at that now, all I see is trauma, people who are suffering, and then essentially being shamed on television, no less. It just feels like watching somebody at their lowest for an hour, recounting trauma, disability, loss and grief, mental illness, and so many things.

#mental health #mental health advocacy #ask to tag #man though... i was super young when i actually watched that series though like this is like maybe 2010 we're talking #and look maybe i'm a hashtag snowflake who is too concerned about this shit but... i'd rather be a snowflake #i just remember the tears and the person who was compulsively hoarding being stressed and pressured #and it just makes me think about how entitled people are about mentally ill people #i'm not saying that these people didn't need help. i'm just saying that a camera crew probably shouldn't be part of it #i think about my worst episodes of mental illness and it's like would i have wanted a camera crew? like even if i had said yes in the past #i just think it's complex and nuanced and that's why i'm not trying to shame anyone about this based on opinion #i concede that i am not an expert and i also can say that i personally don't think it (the show) was done in good faith every time #feel like my words may/will be misinterpreted/misrepresented about this but i hold true #like i tried watching an episode just in case i was wrong and. i was not having a good time. even when the expert they got came on #really didn't like the way she introduced herself with 'ooh i KNEW i came to the right place when i saw the yard' like it was funny :/

[anastacialy]

y'know, i keep making a habit of swinging my bat at hornets nests, but i have to say i'm getting so, so tired of people complaining about shows not making perfect sense when they aren't even close to done. we're four episodes into this season of doctor who. we're four episodes into this season of bridgerton. and yet in both fandoms i keep seeing people whine that such and such didn't make sense or it wasn't explained all the way and by god you guys i think maybe explanations might come later in the season. this is something most viewers will recognize as being called a 'plot.'

#like maybe a tiny bit of media literacy... might save you #and if you think i'm being mean like. its okay if you don't get it at first. it's okay if you don't understand the themes. but maybe #instead of stamping your feet and saying this makes no sense and i hate what they're doing and and and #maybe you could try listening to other people's interpretations of things and you'll find that what the show is trying to tell you becomes #more clear! would you look at that. wild how that happens #like im sorry you're entitled to your opinions but calling things bad writing just because you don't quite get it or it doesn't resonate #with you personally... i don't think you should just say this was shitty and worthless #the examples im using are because both resonate with me btw. 73 yards was existential horror it was hill house and bly manor #(im going to write about this in another post btw bc it compels me so) #it was about the way fear of abandonment can haunt you how mental illness can haunt you how you feel like you can drive people away #just by being yourself (the Woman was Herself what caused ruby to be abandoned was Her it's about her feeling as though she was the cause #of everyone who left her even as a baby even the people who loved her most could decide to not love her at the drop of a hat) #colin bridgerton is masking and faking a personality because it has been proven that time and time again #being Himself is Wrong that he annoys people he makes himself into what people expect of him because he's tired of being abandoned too #his family ignores and does not reply to his letters this season PEN stopped replying to his letters #his brother was cruel to him for being a romantic his friends LAUGHED AT HIM for saying sex is meaningful to him and don't they feel lonely #his Fake Rake persona makes viewers cringe because! its!! fake!!! he's faking it! HE GETS CALLED OUT ON IT TWICE IN EP ONE #if you don't understand he's faking it then that's on you at that point! i don't know! maybe take a minute to sit in the discomfort and ask #why did this show make me react this way and do you think maybe it was on purpose #''73 yards was confusing'' do you think confusion may be one of the ways ruby feels about her abandonment? #there is a theme in all of her episodes so far is it ''badly written'' unclear to you or do you just refuse to think critically about it #txtly #and im sorry for tagging this its just for my blog i kinda wish they still didnt show up in tags if i tag them all the way at the bottom #[old lady ruby voice] ''i used to be able to tag things just for myself once upon a time'' #bridgerton #bridgerton spoilers #doctor who #doctor who spoilers

[orcelito]

No one is allowed to think I'm cool bc im a fucking gremlin who can't even clean their floor. Anyways

#speculation nation #thinking again about how weird it is when ppl put artists and writers up on pedestals #like bro we. r just vibing. we r just People #also thinking about what one person who got all huffy about me calling some1 using ai to auto complete fics #oh what was it. oh yea an 'entitled little shit'. still laughing about that btw that's like incredibly chill overall #i dont want ppl to put me on a pedestal bc that shit sucks. talk to me about my writing pls and thank u but dont think it makes me Cool #or in any way better than anyone else. im just a mentally ill mess of a person going thru grief after grief #and i cant even clean my floors. #just... sigh.

[lonelymoongirl]

"i'm probably way smarter than you" boy you completely lack emotional intelligence and have no comprehension of even the most basic psychology so i really doubt that but sure whatever makes you feel better

#i hate when people don't comprehend stuff like disorders mental illness and behavior #and how like i can be aware of a behavior that comes from my disorder and still be unable to do anything about it #and i'm allowed to complain (to MYSELF and not AT other people) about other people behaving the same way i do #yes im avoidant....... i know i am #im still allowed to cry when someone im in love with avoids me #even if i do the same to others #and maybeeee if you didn't ignore 90% of the things i say #or TELL me im stupid #i would wanna talk to you but i dont wanna talk to you #anyway like i know it serves no purpose to get upset about it #he's attached to me (again i have no idea why because like im not even attractive #plus when im like displaying loyal devoted dog thoughts is for him i love because he has earned me being a dog for him 😃) #ok im yapping again i know he doesnt even use his brain because he's just not even thinking rationally #it's just annoying because i wanna exist in peace on tumblr im not even special or interesting leave me alone 😭😭😭😭 #i think im just also irritated that he doesnt seem to understand #that im in love with the man im in love with because he treats me with respect and makes me feel warm and fuzzy and good #and all he does is make me feel stupid bc he doesnt even listen to me or care about what i say plus he calls me dumb #im prettyyyy sure most ppl i talk with have similar thoughts but idc until they tell me about it lol #like have whatever thoughts you have about me as long as you're nice to me and it's cool #why is he angry that i dont want to be with him when he treats me like trash lol #there's not even any point in wondering i know. he's entitled and angry and it's like he's just mad at his vacuum cleaner for not wanting to #suck up all the dirt 💀 #so ig im answering my own question.. he doesnt see it that we bc he doesnt think of me as a human being #only a vessel to do what he wants and when i dont wanna he gets mad #he can be mad just let me post whatever i want on my blog goddammit 😔

[thebibliosphere]

Whenever I talk about the medical neglect and ableism I've encountered as a victim of the healthcare system, there's always some cockwaffle who feels entitled to come into my inbox and make the argument of "not all doctors" while talking about how "people like them" (because it's always someone in a field of medicine who does this) are doing their best and it's really hard because so many people fake being ill to get on welfare (Yikes), but like, yeah, obviously #not all doctors, because if all doctors were negligent, bullying scum bags, I'd be dead.

But here's the thing: while I truly believe that the majority of doctors are doing their best in a system stacked against them and their patients, their presence does not negate the mass harm caused by the bad ones. And there are far more bad ones than you realize.

Fuck, John Oliver literally did a segment on this last week:

Yes, the truly bad, malicious doctors are in the minority. Most are just horrifically burned out and fighting a losing battle against a system, killing both them and their patients through a lack of funding and resources and profound overwork.

But the malicious ones do exist, and they will go out of their way to harm patients who don't kowtow to them.

I almost lost my life because when I was in my early twenties, I told a doctor I didn't think she was listening to me, and I disagreed with her assessment of my mental health (she was not a mental health doctor, and I was there for heart palpitations and chronic pain). She retaliated by putting "non-compliant" in my file.

There was also a fun little "doesn't show respect" note too that lives rent-free in my head because I know I wasn't rude. I was polite. I just didn't agree with her, and my refusal to accept her off-handed comment that "you probably have bipolar or BPD" (again, I was there for heart palpitations and chronic pain) meant I was "refusing care."

I wasn't. I just refused to be slapped with a mood/personality disorder when I was there because I kept fucking fainting when I stood up.

(Spoiler alert: it was dysautonomia)

That "non-compliant" marker followed me around for years. It followed me across an ocean and effectively ensured that any doctor I saw was going to treat me like absolute dogshit because no one wants to help Difficult Patients. It wasn't until I was so undeniably ill, literally on the brink of death, that anyone helped me.

I'm alive because of a good doctor. And all the good ones that came after him because of him.

So, I know they exist. You don't have to tell me that.

But I really fucking need you to acknowledge the bad ones and that you're part of a system with a long, long history of abusing minorities and vulnerable people. I need you to acknowledge that because it's the only way we're going to survive this godforsaken nightmare and make things better.

So yeah, #notalldoctors, but if you feel the need to say that because someone talking about being literally left to die by the medical system hurts your feelings, I'm going to have to ask you to take a step back and ask yourself if you're going into medicine for the right reasons.

Namely: do you want to help people, even the "difficult" ones?

Even the ones who might disagree with you?

Even if they're on welfare?

Even if they'll never get "better" in a way that means "cured"?

Just a thought. But hey, what do I know. I'm just someone who experienced hemolytic anemia because doctors kept telling me I was anxious and needed to exercise more 🤷‍♀️.

#chronic health tag #medical abuse #medical neglect #medical #ableism #to all the good health care workers who follow me and leave supportive comments: I appreciate you so much #but you need to come get your fellow drs #and idk #give 'em a shake or something #Youtube

[echo-and-dust]

now that my brain has somewhat unscrambled itself i have gotten most of my thoughts in order about season 3.

and the first thing i will say is: i loved it.

while it was gutwrenching and polarizing in some ways and i feel that i am entitled to financial compensation for what its done to my mental health, i loved this season for pretty much almost everything it did.

i cannot fault people for having issues with much of the characterization and plot choices made—that’s been the trend during the entire run of the show after all, and imo it’s a testament to the phenomenal way it generates nuance—but i wanted to share my feelings on the recurring opinions i’ve seen about some of these things.

first, i do not blame simon at all for the things he said in the final scene. he’s a child who has been receiving endless verbal and physical harassment on top of all the trauma he is still trying to heal from. he just watched his boyfriend lash out in anger and hurt—while not at him, but it must’ve been a close resemblance of how he might’ve seen micke act. at least, that's what i thought, though i've seen others say otherwise.

and yes, wille is not micke, but just because wille’s source of outbursts is different from micke’s doesn’t mean simon is wrong in drawing similarities. at least he's finally getting a true glimpse into what wille has had to deal with. i've honestly grown to like that they didn't have simon immediately comfort him though; wille's mental illness is not his fault, but it is his responsibility, and instead of pushing a message of unhealthy co-dependence, the show has simon be honest: "but i see that everything hurts you and that hurts me too." and to me, that's so important.

plus, it doesn't make their love any less genuine. wille is a victim of the circumstances; he is not evil, and he is not undeserving of simon. he just has a lot of growing and healing to do, a lot of unlearning and exposure therapy because he's still blinded by privilege even when he tries not to be.

speaking of, i have so many thoughts about wille that i feel like i need to save for its own separate post, but to sum them up: i'll still defend him with my life, and he needs to get the fuck away from that institution.

also, the fact that the responsibility of controlling simon's media decisions was placed solely on wille confused me at first like—why wouldn't they get a professional to give him proper media training?

then i realized, this could be the royal court's way of sabotaging their relationship. they knew that making wille the one to tell simon what he can and cannot say or post would create distance and animosity between them. despite the ramifications of simon's behavior on social media, it seems they still thought it best to have his boyfriend be the one to try to mold him into the system. because they knew that's how they could get rid of him. in conclusion, fuck the royal court (we been knew but still).

one of the standouts this season was their transparency regarding the show's politics. it not only works well with the show's arc (wilmon is public, everything's out in the open now and there's nothing to hide), but also it felt necessary at a time where censorship has been rapidly gaining momentum. it felt so refreshing for these characters to talk so openly about racial discrimination and queerphobia and class disparities, forcing both character and viewer to acknowledge that they exist and you should feel uncomfortable about it.

i don't think i can add much more to what was already said about it—most of the fandom is more eloquent and observant than i am anyway—i just wanted to reinforce how important this season is to myself and the story even with how controversial it is to fans right now. a lot of people may disagree with me and that's fine.

#young royals #wilmon #simon eriksson #prince wilhelm #yr spoilers #yr s3 spoilers #ad speaks #i don't know how they're going to tie everything together in under an hour but so far this season is strong enough for me to like it despit #what ending we receive #and i know i'm in the minority in that sense but i've been spending most of the hiatus trying to keep myself from setting expecations #so i haven't really been let down too much #i really don't want to let this show go though :'( #forever my heart #yr season 3 #young royals season 3

[opalthea]

ok.

i am not one to start shit up, but like, if you're mutuals or friends with user @/n3r0-1417, or Ari, you can unfollow me and block me. i am not about to sit here and tolerate anyone who continues to defend and excuse their behaviour. they are a MINOR that interacts with NSFW and adult spaces, and flirts with adults knowingly, with the excuse of being "hypersexual".

adding onto that, if you are in association with @/kurolumiis, or Luma, you can also unfollow me and block me. i am sick and tired of finding out from other people about their entitled self and how they think they're entitled to gatekeep a character in a GENSHIN COMMUNITY/SERVER that they chose to join. i am also SICK from the amount of shamelessness from these two, just boldly saying they interact and write smut on the daily, and seeing my own mutuals or people i know just ignoring this problem when all these people that I KNOW literally cut off ties with user @/bfajax the second he did whatever shit he did.

hypersexuality is also known as sexual addiction. in other words, you can compare it to other bad habits and addictions, like alcohol addiction and drug addiction. it ruins your physical, mental and psychological health, and destroys your relationships with the people around you, regardless if they're family or friends. it's not an EXCUSE for a MINOR to be posting SEXUAL CONTENT on the internet. it does not make it okay for a MINOR to interact with adult spaces regardless if they really have the illness or not.

final reminder. if you are mutuals with either users and you're following / mutuals with me, i will soft block or hard block you. i don't give a fuck who you are anymore, i am not going to sit here and share spaces with the likes of them, and neither should you.

#important

[arson-09]

A court of frost and starlight is (subjectively) the worse book in the sjm world. Especially when it comes to mental illness

The first half of chapter 11 is fucking disgusting. I think i geniunely hate sjm a little after this chapter.

Rhysand is literally kicking a man while hes down. Tamlin is depressed. Hes not taking care of himself or his home and is clearly at rock bottom. His home is empty and as stated at the end of the chapter theres no wards around his manor to protect him

"But as I winnowed away, the dark wind ripping through me, a strange sort of hollowness took root in my stomach. Tamlin didn't have shields around the house. None to prevent anyone from winnowing in, to guard against enemies appearing in his bedroom and slitting his throat. It was almost as if he was waiting for someone to do it."

I can quote the entire chapter to point and say HEY THIS IS FUCKING GROSS WRITING! She worte a clearly depressed and ill man but hey! its okay rhysand said really bad shit to him because we LOVE rhysand in this house! to qoute feyre hes usually the bigger male so hes entitled to a slipup!

except hes not. thats not a slip up thats purposefully trying to trigger a man you know has anger issues so you have an excuse to kill him. That is quite literally what kids used to do to me when i was younger, thats being a fucking bully. Rhysand is not a good person, quite the opposite actually. Rhysand also states that "he had been given everything and squandered it." which is not completely true! (Given tamlins backstory and how he feels about being high lord so *loud incorrect buzzer*) Rhysand is an extremely unreliable narrator. Example from this chapter? Rhysand asks where "his dear friend" lucien is and Tamlin tells him hes hunting and the following happens

“Hunting for our dinner.” “No taste for such things these days?” Tamlin’s eyes remained dull. “He left before I was awake.” Hunting for dinner- because there were no servants here to make food. Or buy it. I couldn’t say I felt bad for him. Only for Lucien, once again stuck with being his crony.

Where did this come from? Tamlin said lucien left before he was awake. He didnt ask him to do that.

Rhysand proceeds to purposefully say stuff to make Tamlin angry so they can fight and is surprised when Tamlin just tells him to leave. Then chapter 23 does nothing to help this. Wow tamlin has completely isolated himself after rhysand fucked him up more. But its fine cause rhysand made him dinner and got people to patrol the border.

It really hurts. I have so many of the same mental health issues as Tamlin. Seeing sjm do nothing with this but add more stigma just sucks. Yes Tamlin fucks up in acomaf (even if i cant fully comprehend that one sjm) but that isn't excuse to do this horrific mental health shit.

I am open to discussion about this more! if we have opposite opinions that okay! if you love this series to death that's great for you! as long as your at least somewhat polite I'm chill with it. If your rude i will be mean on the internet.

#acotar #a court of thorns and roses #rhysand #sarah j maas #tamlin #pro tamlin #anti rhysand #rhysand is quite literally my childhood bullies #i mean tamlin and i became bullies too because people kept provoking us #sjm critical #book opinions #mental health rep in books #acofas #a court of frost and starlight

[hyperlexichypatia]

In the 15 or so years that I’ve been actively involved in neurodivergent/Mad/disabled liberation, my perspective on “overdiagnosis” or “broadening the category of mental illness” has shifted a few times. 

At first, I uncritically agreed with what might be called the “mainstream, mad-lite” perspective that “broadening the category of mental illness” was a real thing worth objecting to – that doctors and schools were pathologizing emotions, traits, and behaviors that should rightfully fall under the range of “normal.” How terrible to pathologize grief, we said, when feeling pain and sadness at the loss of a loved one is perfectly normal! 

But by 2015, when the New York Times ran an article on pathologizing women’s emotions, I was sharply critical. I wrote this: 

This is the kind of thing I would've celebrated a few years ago as a baby neurodiversity activist. But now, please count me as completely over faux-revolutionary assertions that one, specific, particular group of people should not be pathologized. The argument essentially boils down to "Neurotypical women shouldn't be pathologized for being upset, because they have legitimate reason for being upset, unlike all those other hysterical, overreacting people who are upset for no good reason, who really need to be pathologized." I regard this the same way I do the endless spate of "ADHD isn't a real disease; it's just a label for people who are creative and misunderstood!" articles. No, ADHD isn't a disease, and no, ADHD-type people shouldn't be pathologized, but the emphasis on "isn't a REAL disease" implies "unlike those other neurological differences, which ARE real diseases." These articles and ideas are not inclusive or neurodiversity-positive. "The line between pathologized and non-pathologized people should be drawn in a different place" is not a radical argument. It serves to throw other pathologized people -- the so-called "actually disordered" or "seriously mentally ill" or "low-functioning" people from whom these arguments are so anxious to distance their subjects -- further under the bus. Furthermore, because the medical model conflates pathologization with entitlement to services, these arguments often actually throw even the people they argue to depathologize under the bus as well. Extreme emotional states shouldn't be pathologized in women (or in anyone), but many people who experience extreme emotional states choose to use medications or other medical services to manage them -- a choice that should be their right. Depathologization should not be used to deprive them of access to that choice. "You're not defective, so we know what's best for you" isn't actually that big an improvement over "You are defective, so we know what's best for you."

Now, 9 years later in 2024, I still stand by what I said in 2015. Arguing about where to draw the line between pathological and nonpathological, or how wide to make the circle of accepted normalcy, is a pointless and ultimately harmful argument. I have no interest in arguing “This group of people, specifically, shouldn’t be pathologized, because they’re not like that group of people, who should be pathologized.” No one should be pathologized – not the otherwise-neurotypical woman grieving a loss, and not the visibly neurodivergent person responding to stimuli no one else can perceive. We should settle for no less than acceptance for all; pathologization for none. 

But I also didn’t quite predict how far pathologization would reach in the following decade. 

I was thinking about this because, in a context completely unrelated to disability rights, I was thinking that liberalism as a mainstream ideology barely exists in the U.S. anymore. I expressed some of that concern here. “Freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and bodily autonomy are generally, in and of themselves, good” is not a particularly mainstream idea. 

“But,” you might be thinking, “Aren’t you always saying that liberals who profess to believe those things don’t really believe them, and never have, because they don’t apply them to disabled people, poor people, young people, and other marginalized people?” And yes, I am always saying that. Universal liberalism – truly universal – has never been mainstream in the U.S., or anywhere in the world. As I said here, if you ask people “Should people have the right to…?” you will get a lot of “Yes, of course” answers, but if you ask “What about a child? What about an intellectually disabled person? What about an unmedicated-by-choice schizophrenic person?” the answer will switch to “I don’t mean them” or “That’s an exception.” There are Normal People who deserve basic human rights, and Pathologized People, who don’t. 

The trend I’m seeing now, though, is that the “normal” non-pathologized subject doesn’t exist. Everyone is some degree of pathologized. Neurotypical privilege is still very much in effect, and there is still a vast difference between those who are perceived as relatively neurotypical and those who don’t. “Everyone is a little bit [whatever]” or “No one is really normal” are ways of erasing and minimizing the very real neurotypical privilege, and corresponding neurodivergent oppression, that some people experience and some people don’t. Nevertheless, I’m seeing a real shift from “‘People’ by default means ‘normal’ neurotypical people, who deserve acceptance and freedom, but there are those ‘other’ people who don’t” to “No one is ever really ‘mentally healthy,’ so no one ever really deserves acceptance and freedom.” 

I talked a bit here about the premise that “Everyone needs therapy,” but I’m trying to think of the last time I actually saw that premise questioned. I’m thinking back trying to remember the last time I heard someone expressing the opinion “No, I don’t think you need therapy; I think that’s a normal thing, not a pathological thing.” 

I’m not saying a dividing line between pathologized and non-pathologized people was better! Not at all. And it was never absolute; non-pathologized people were always at risk of slipping into the pathologized category if they ever let their social conformity slip. As long as anyone is pathologized, everyone is at risk of being pathologized. 

But I’m saying that looking around, it feels like I wished for society to stop differentiating pathologized people from non-pathologized people, and the monkey’s paw gave me my wish. The argument “[Pathologized trait] isn’t that different from [non-pathologized trait]” isn’t effective, because there are no non-pathologized traits. Who, exactly, is considered “mentally healthy” or “emotionally mature” enough to be allowed to make decisions? Is anyone? If not, who is supposed to be in charge of us? Anybody with an audience who can successfully convince us that we’re “unhealthy” and need to be fixed, like the salesmen who convinced us that we all have a specific “attachment style”? I don’t know. I don’t know what the long-term effects of this cultural norm will be. Not good, to say the least. I know that it reminds me of certain strict, punitive strains of Christianity, with “trauma” taking the place of “original sin.” All have fallen short of the glory of Healing. But those people over there, they have fallen especially short. They need to be locked up. I know that the emphasis on relationships and interactions being “healthy” rather than respectful, consensual, and happy has pathologized a lot of respectful, consensual, happy relationships while allowing wildly disrespectful people to escape criticism because they’re “healthy.” I have no idea where universal-pathologization-culture is going, but I hope it’s not too late to turn it around. 

#mad pride #neurodiversity #liberation #disability rights #pathologization #mad liberation

[blinkpen]

nother lil life update!

appointment with housing admin lady got rescheduled to tuesday, but that's not too big a deal since that is the soonest day they could officially open up that apartment for me anyway, so if the answer was going to be yes, rescheduling when i get the yes to said day, doesn't delay the move-in, except by like, maybe, one more additional day of just. going back to get/move my stuff? so i am Unbothered and maintain the same level of cautious optimism leaned optimism as before

and again my stress level is way lower now knowing there is likely a light at the end of the tunnel (hell that a tunnel even EXISTS now) and mom is, at least for now, sobered by the intervention of other adults for whom going

"ummmmm but the very existence of trans identity is a personal attack against me and my beliefs bc i believe their existence is blasphemous they stole the rainbow from christians and desecrated the noah's arc story that's why i'm so mean to [not my fucking pronoun] whenever anything remotely close to the topic of gender comes up, asking nicely to so mach as -gag noises- humor they/them is a deliberate attack on me first, and forcing the queer agenda on me, so i get to attack back with full venom unloaded and vote in favor of making queer peoples' lives more difficult if not impossible, so like, i'm the victim actually? [not my fucking pronoun] needs to stop being so entitled and unholy and learn to deal with Different Opinions and stop Undermining me"

will not fucking fly and she can't make inflict Power Word: Guilt Trip to make them crumple away the way she does to me to instantly win and make the argument stop so she is now not pushing buttons and keeping her toxicity to herself methinks bc "ah fuck, an actually benevolent authority figure nobody in town would question is looking at how much my grown but wingclipped and disabled child's mental and now physical health has deteriorated to life-threateningly poor levels and looking in my direction while Knowing details i cannot possibly spin in my favor to outside observers; the only people who'd swoop in to take my side would only make me look worse by association, though i'll probably still refuse to think about The Implications of that, so i will Be Mask On now about it if nothing else"

like she got a stark fucking reminder i think of the fact she is a mean person who publicly boasts about being mean because she thinks its funny and also equates being smart with being cynical and therefore if you're aggressively cynical you're automatically smarter than whoever you are talking to or about, and is the kind of person who literally owns a "leftist tears" coffee mug, while claiming herself a Good christian just because she didn't kick me out for being queer like the Bad christians do, but like, she can still give me shit for being queer as much as she likes and if i stand up for myself i'm an ungrateful little bitch, those are her Vibes,

and being that way, makes it hard to defend yourself as totally innocent of any wrongdoing and victim-blame someone most people in town know, by contrast, as "the borderline mute Always a Hoodie n Headphones kid who spends a lot of time just wandering around town for the heck of it and seems a bit touched in the head/lost in their own little world, but is unfailingly friendly if you do try to talk to them for whatever reason, and will sincerely ask if they could be of any assistance to anyone who enters their cone of vision who seems to be in a pickle" once they start developing what seems like a wasting illness and an aura of hopelessness they didn't have before and finally show up at the hospital looking like they're about to drop dead from what is clearly several months of physiological stress and self-neglect and they don't even have their meds handy because you locked their disabled ass out in retaliation for leaving for one single night because you wouldn't stop screaming at them about how their gender thing is blasphemous and [checks notes] eavesdropping in on them while they shower to make sure not even their anguished crying and muttering to themself even in there isn't saying anything you don't like??? what the f-

even the crusty old farmer i know who i guess probably would go "not sure i like that but whatever" about transness otherwise enters "now what makes you think that makes [not my pronoun but i forgive bc its not done Maliciously] less of a person, what makes you think that's okay" mode over that

lol, said the frog, as a human hand scoops it out of the water just in time, and places it on a nice log where it may recover from the sting, while pointing to the sinking scorpion suggesting they go to therapy instead of stinging everyone around them and going "but i'm a scorpion so that means i am not responsible for my actions and nobody is allowed to expect better of me" lmao,

okay that went from a life update to me venting a bit? but. i eared that i think, it helps keep my grounded, hoenstly.

anyway we gotta send my doc a fruit basket or somn

#cw for discussions of transphobia and all that

[alostlittleriverlotus]

not in a good mood cause my friend's boyfriend is dealing with his abusive mom. And after a recent issue they had of her verbally abusing him, he found out about narcissistic abuse and ow. Ow. Thing is, he's autistic/adhd and has BPD and DID. I just. I fucking hate how easy it is. He repeated that "autistic and adhd people attract narcissists."

NO!!!!! Luckily he's very open minded and chill and is trying to understand when my friend tells him. But still. The fact that someone with equally demonized disorders and BPD which can be very commonly comorbid with NPD and then demonizes narcissists cause of how widely available that information is hurts. Just...no. Just no.

That is how easily accessible the information on "narcissists" is. He learned about it that easily when that ableism stems from the same place as the rest of hatred of mental health. There are people that believe you can't be in a relationship with someone with ADHD without it being emotionally abusive. People think meltdowns from autistic people are intentional emotional abuse. There are people that still believe that stuff.

It is so important for the rest of the mentally ill to not fall into this hole of demonizing narcissists. That ableism stems from the same place that ableism against autistic people and depression and anxiety and all stem from.

Narcissism doesn't make someone more likely to abuse. They do not have unique patterns of abuse. It is just abuse. It is emotional abuse, verbal abuse, mental abuse. Just because someone that may have NPD is abusive does not make it narcissistic abuse. And also: if your abuser, especially if you are genetically related to them, has NPD then that raises the chance YOU would have NPD. It doesn't guarantee it, but personality disorders are a mix of trauma and genetics.

Anyone with any disorder can be abusive. People without disorders can be abusive. The majority of abusive people most likely don't have a personality disorder. It's the same as assuming that "all serial killers are schizophrenic" which is something my brother said to me recently. It's the same as believing all criminals are "psychopaths" when that just isn't true.

Anyone with or without disorder or neurodivergency has the ability to abuse and hurt others. A lot of the time, abusers may be just neurotypical. Narcissists aren't more likely to abuse than anyone else. Their disorder does not make them abusive. Any disorder can affect their treatment of someone.

I have dealt with many people who used their depression as a way to abuse me. It does not make it depression or depressive abuse. The disorder is irrelevant, the abuse is not.

If you lump in narcissists with abusers, you are lumping in other people that have been abused and traumatized with their abusers. I have been compared to a rapist, to a child sex offender, to a serial killer for being a narcissist. I have seen people saying to kill every narcissist since it would be better for people. I have been told I am lying about my abuse and actually my abusive ex boyfriend didn't abuse me, *I* abused *HIM.*

Narcissistic abuse does not exist. It is not a different or unique pattern. It is not "different than NPD cause the word narcissist existed before NPD" (when it is heavily associated with NPD and many resources say it is about NPD.) It is not a special type of abuse done by people with NPD. It is bullshit. You don't need "narcissistic abuse" to be able to understand your own abuse. Narcissists are not everywhere and looking to harm you. It keeps you scared and traumatized. It is not healing, it is not helping.

I'm just so upset cause my friend's BF is such a cool dude and I have faith he will learn over time, but it was so triggering. I split so fucking bad. So yes. Here's my rant and the reminder that: Narcissistic abuse is bullshit and just demonizes people with NPD and the mentally ill and people they often claim are narcissists aren't and are just privileged and entitled and shitty people and often have to do with more systemic problems that are normalized and accepted by society rather than, you know, icky mentally ill person.

Oh and btw. If you're gonna fight at all on this, just block me. Either you can listen and learn or not. If you're in the "not" section, just leave. You'll just be blocked anyway. Because I'm not here to have it justified why it's okay to say narcissists are abusive when I am literally a narcissist and this shit has literally worsened me to the point of wanting to die. Fuck off. We are mentally ill people. Some people with NPD being abusive does not make us all abusive. You would never say the same for any other disorder so why say it for us? If you wouldn't say it about autism, depression, OCD, or any other literal mental illness then do NOT say it about us. There are people out there who DO still say that about those disorders. Who DO believe that a disorder makes you inherently abusive. Is that who you want to side with? Cause it's the same fucking logic. Narcissistic abuse is purely pop psychology and popularized by the mainstream rather than even being a real term. Yes, psychologists and other professionals can be wrong and can be ableist too.

I've said my piece. Narcissists and anyone else demonized whether your disorder is widely demonized or not, I love you. A lot of disorders have become more infantilized rather than demonized these days, but there are people out there that still see every mentally ill person as evil. No matter what kind of ableism you face for your disorder, you deserve love and care and support, not to be treated more like an object than a person. And no matter what, no matter how good or bad, You. Deserve. Help. You deserve to be able to have access to help without any bullshit.

#rant #ableism #sanism #narcissistic abuse #narc abuse #narcissistic #narcissistic personality disorder #actually narcissistic #actually npd #fuck ableism #fuck demonization #demonization of mental illness #personality disorders #cluster b #actually autistic #actually traumatized #disabled #cluster b safe #personality disorder safe #abuse #ableist #ableist bullshit #tw sanism #tw ableism #tw sui mention

[lastwave]

aghj fuck everything ok. i say this as someone who enjoys analyzing jean! hes an interesting little guy. but so so many people refuuuuse to acknowledge just how much privilege jean has over harry as an ablebodied, never-addict, (comparatively) ableminded, and arguably straight dude.

SO LIKE. Harry's very chronically ill like. canonically. post polio syndrome, all the shit that comes with hep c (joint pain, organ damage, etc etc), and his use of speed implies chronic fatigue. AND when jean gets to him after the tribunal he has at LEAST one gunshot wound (in some playthroughs he gets shot twice), and we don't even know if Kim GOT the bullet(s) out. jean is ablebodied. he has facial scarring from when he had smallpox(?) but other than that he seems to have made a full recovery while harry never did- harry still has partial paralysis. and even IF jean was in some form chronically ill, still jean feels entitled to make some smarmy comment about disability pension even tho harry has more than earned that shit.

its very easy to see the subtext that jean thinks harry deserves this. he basically outright says it in the "you know what he told me?" line. he took that not as a sign that something was deeply fucking wrong and that harry needed help (which, btw, "i want to get worse" is almost always a cry for help and an indication that someone has completely given up), but jean took it as someone accepting whats coming to them and that harry needed to learn a lesson. which, depending on the playthrough, harry was a major ass, but during the midst of a mental breakdown is NOT the time to address that. and that isn't teaching a lesson.

its exacting revenge jean felt entitled to for "putting up" with him. he thinks hes some martyr- and not even for harry's assholery. to be clear. in the fascist and some moralist playthroughs jean expresses frustration at having to go to sensitivity training. not what harry actually said. which, while speaking volumes abt harry's character, also says a fuck ton about jean's. ALSO, there are several instances where he complains about conservative talking points- "falling marriage rates", "the liberals" (in context of the f slur, not economic liberalism). which leaves one thing for jean to be upset over- harry's addiction, mental illness and disability.

its very very simple! jean thinks that harry deserves bad things because he's an addict, and thinks that harry's a burden because he's both mentally and physically disabled. and its not frustration that comes from a place of love, because otherwise he would have fucking been there. he would have reintroduced himself when he realized harry did for real have total retrograde amnesia. the fact anyone even let harry continue the investigation after finding out abt that is pretty damn heinous.

he doesn't HAVE sympathy for harry and he doesn't care about his well being- jean cares about what harry's presence in his life makes him feel like. Jean likes to pity himself and Harry's existence lets him position himself as some long suffering angel that "so graciously keeps giving harry chances". this is especially apparent in the "sorry i didn't feel like buttering you up, i have clinical depression" line. (sorry WHAT about a man that tries to drown himself in his car by driving it over a roof implies not depressed?).

like. even ignoring all of harry's other shit he had before the bender, retrograde amnesia and functional clinical depression are not comparable. that AND harry probably has a dissociative disorder AND some form of mania its just ??????

jeans very very privileged over harry and exerts it often. hes an asshole. a very interesting asshole! but an asshole nonetheless

#hugh txt #disco elysium #and to be clear i do not give a shit what luiga says mans didn't even write the character #jean heron vicquemare

[bullet-prooflove]

Meet The Writer! - Also a Year in Review

I don't usually do this but I thought I would throw up a meet the author post so you could get to know me a little more!

I think sometimes it's hard to remember that's actual people behind the usernames we see on our screens so I thought I'd pop up and say Hi.

So a few things about me:

I'm 36 heading towards 37.

I have a Master's in Creative Writing and run a very small, local social media company, which is more side hustle then income but I love my clients.

In April I came off my antidepressants for the first time in over a decade and it was like I could see the world in technicolour, music sounded richer to me and it completely changed my life.

I've struggled with mental health issues the majority of my life, the latest being August of this year when I had a breakdown which has led to a complete re-evalutation of my life. It made me very ill and I am still in recovery as we speak.

In August/Sept I started putting out my work for publication and have been published three times this year.

In Nov I quit my job working with teens in the care system due to a toxic workplace situation that caused my breakdown. This was truly terrifying as I am not entitled to any benefits because frankly the UK benefits system is a joke.

Doing this has given me the space to look at what I want to do moving forward. I signed up to a few places as a creative writing tutor and had my first client on 30th Dec. I honestly loved the experiance and have decided it's something all the time. So if you're looking for help with that pain in the ass manuscript hit me up!

I'm also developing a portfolio as a makeup artist and gel nail tech, things I wanted to explore when I was working full time but never had the chance to.

When I look back I can't believe how much has changed for me in the past year and I never envisioned that I'd be where I am now. There have been times when I've thought I wouldn't make it through the year but I did and I'm still here, still growing. I guess I hope that if there's anyone else out there, who has struggled or is struggling this resonates with you.

You're not alone, I've been there and so many other people have too. We are more than just names behind a keyboard and I thought it was just important to remember that.

Anyway I've rambled long enough!

Happy New Year to everyone who is trying to make it in this messy world.

#meet the writer #writer life

[sneezemonster15]

Okay yeah this. Gotta share this. So I love watching cute animal vids like all the other thousand people per square mile, and recently I stumbled onto this one. And of course it reminded me of them, like duh, look at them.

Also now look at the comments and how not so eerily similar they are to the dialogues that go on here. @teddywiththumbs is the op, owner of the cats.

Now just to be clear, yeah cats can be gay. Along with most other animal species. Homosexual behaviour and courtship has been widely documented across species. And yeah, there is the issue of anthropomorphism (the attribution of human-like qualities to animals) as well. But I just can't help but notice how people like the commenter simply don't see what they are actually responding to when they get offended with a woman, the owner of the cats, simply stating a fact about the cats she owns. They don't see it so they think they aren't being homophobic but they are.

This is a response that I am sure some of you will relate with.

Hahahaha. No seriously, this is the case isn't it?

Sometimes when I see these posts made by SNS fans here, and in spirit they read like the creation of bards of the yore who crooned graphic songs of eternal, fantastical love about two boys who once were and were made for each other.....and I wonder if the term shipping came from 'worshipping'? Maybe it did.. Heh.

They are talking about the love, the absolute spectacle of the romance of Sasuke and Naruto, aren't they? But all that is reduced to an outcome of the mental illnesses that plague these fujoshis and dirty lesbians. What this says is, this kind of bias doesn't exist just in fandoms, it is simply a reflection of the larger society, fandoms are made of the same people. This gives us a look at how people generally think of homosexuality, fandom is simply one of the many microcosms.

Hehehe accurate. Or friends, brothers, comrades, etc.

No seriously, just to see how quickly reactive people become when it comes to homosexuality, like what a potent trigger it is. How easy it is for people to be so upset at something that is simply natural, a fact of life. And this is just cats they are talking about, but how well it translates to other things...

Like the outrage, the desperate need to explain it away in a 'safe way'......they really harassed the op for talking about her own cats. Like no one even waited a second to google how it is possible for animals to be "gay", just like some fans here who could have saved a lot of trouble if only they had used the internet for things other than reading het smut.

What I am saying is, look how similar the narratives are. It doesn't matter if it's cats or humans, it's not about that. It's about ingrained homophobia. It doesn't say so much about cats and love, it says how uncomfortable it makes people to even consider normalising homosexuality, that seeing it so clearly portrayed or documented in media really triggers their prejudices so unquestioningly, so unerringly, so insidiously, so organically, that they don't realize what they are actually reacting to and how deeply biased they are. Good thing the op was quite insightful.

It really says a lot about people's attitudes and sublimated prejudices. The op knows homosexuality makes people deeply wary, feel deeply wronged, they feel as if they are entitled to their outrage. It results in reiterating the "natural order" of things and showing righteous indignation at what they think 'maligns' it. It is the same blueprint, settings may differ.

#sns #cats #homophobia #gay

[paperlunamoth]

The fully sane to fully insane TRA progression:

"I'm a man, but I don't feel comfortable actively conforming to traditionally masculine gender roles."

Nothing wrong with that! Gender is bullshit anyways.

"I'm a man, but I feel more comfortable actively conforming to traditionally feminine gender roles."

Cool. You do you.

"I'm a man, but I have a mental disorder that makes me deeply uncomfortable with being male. In addition to presenting and acting in a traditionally feminine manner, I would like to be recognized socially as a woman and addressed as 'she/her' in order to more easily manage the distress that results from my condition."

Okay. That's fine I guess.

"I'm a woman who was incorrectly identified as male at birth. I am not meaningfully distinct from biological women and therefore am entitled to exist in single sex, female only spaces, and to speak on behalf of women as a group. Women as a class should change the language they use to discuss their bodies and their oppression in order to make me more comfortable even though many of such discussions necessarily do not involve me. Women are to blame if I am the victim of male violence, especially women who are concerned about the issue of male violence. If I don't have access to a lifetime supply of medically unnecessary hormones and receive multiple invasive cosmetic surgeries in order to make my body appear more female, I will become suicidal, but also I am not mentally ill. Calling my condition, which causes me daily psychological distress, a mental illness is hate speech."

Um...

"What even is a woman, anyways? I know I'm a woman, because I identify as a woman, and that's what it means to be female. Gender isn't real and doesn't exist. But also transgender identities are real and valid and trans women are discriminated against because their gender is female. Sex is an arbitrary nonbinary social construct just like gender, also sex has nothing to do with gender. But also I would like my penis to become a vagina in order to alleviate my gender dysphoria. Sex based oppression isn't real, only gender based oppression is, and it is a totally random coincidence that the concept of gender happens to benefit the penis people at the expense of the vagina people 99% of the time. The existence of intersex birth defects demonstrates that humans are not a gonochoric species. No one is born male or female. A clitoris is just a very tiny penis, and a penis is just the outie version of a vagina, and sex organs don't determine whether someone is male or female. I still really want a vagina specifically though because I am female and females have vaginas. Homosexuality has nothing to do with sex and being exclusively same sex attracted is morally wrong. I think minors should be allowed to take cross sex hormones and receive cosmetic surgery but also no one is saying that shut up stop lying. I don't have a mental illness, that would be bad and gross, I'm perfectly normal and dysphoria is perfectly healthy, and you must literally want me to die if you think otherwise, how dare you be so hateful towards mentally ill people. Not giving in to my every demand and actively catering to my desires is literally partipating in genocide. Choke on my cock and die you misogynist!"

...

#radical feminism #radfem #radblr #feminism #tras #tra logic #gender critical #guys I used to be on board until things got to stage four

[totally-not-here-for-the-smut]

So, @arcanavoid made me thinking about Lucio in their post

WELL THEN LETS TALK ABOUT LUCIO YOU BITCHES

Pleas keep in mind that I'm right now very drunk and I'm not a native speaker and the autocorrect for this phone can only do so much Also I'm in a different time zone so if you see this at, like 10 in the morning or whatever, no worries bc now is definitely night here and I also program my posts I have not a drinking problem thats why I cant hold my f-ing liquor

WELL THEN MY DEAR LUCIO and

WHY

as a person who is very close to people with serious mental illness, like i legit live with them

I THINK LUCIO'S ROUTE IS SO GREAT

Let's start with an assumption: we're all assholes. Somewhere in our life, maybe in the past, or present, or future, we are huge AH. It's not like we're evil and condemned to hell, it's just that as humans we're small, petty and miserable so we behave badly and are very selfish when big difficulties challenge us. Like, sometimes we manage to scramble enough willpower and common sense to act decently as we're afraid and suffering, but lots of times we don't and make shitty things. So here's my first point:

1. We all are a Lucio sometimes. Or often.

Like, way more than we want to admit. We're afraid, we're too full of ourselves, and we behave in petty ways. We're mean towards strangers, we feel happy in humiliating them and showing the world how better than anyone else we are. We need something bc we live in a world that doesn't grant basic human rights (food, shelter, health, safety and human connection), so we strain to get those things, sometimes at others' expenses. Then we tell ourself that those people deserved our scorn and malice because they're bad, and we tell us such lies because facing the guilt of what we've done is painful and complex.

We need to show ourselves we're better, so enjoy picking at others' mistakes without caring who they are in a whole (this is super easy on the internet). All this while low key ignoring what bad we're more or less responsible for.

And we are. Like, if you ever did buy something on sites like shein, you are actually exploiting poor people who are basically slaves. And you're keeping a blind eye on it.

But you know what? You're not evil for this. We're weak sometimes, we're tired, we have little time and really don't have the lucidity to think whether this stupid chicken breast is full of hormones and antibiotics or not. We're humans and we're small. Often we're sad, afraid and tired and we need a malicious self esteem bost.

Often, we're Lucio.

2. A flaming piece of trash can change. And doesn't need others' forgiveness to do so.

Did you notice how everyone is so eager to show of other people are wrong and bad and evil? That's because they, and we as well, need reassurance about how we're the hero of the story.

That's because we can't tolerate being the flaming piece of trash, because the the flaming piece of trash can't change and everyone hates them.

This idea is stupid.

It doesn't matter how low you fell. How many people you hurt, how many times you made the same stupid mistake or how many people deeply despise you. You still can change.

That's why is

So

Important

To have a Lucio route where it's shown he can choose to be better, no matter how deeply wrong his past deeds were.

The moment we understand this concept is the one our guilt becomes less heavy and we start being less judging of others. Granted.

This doesn't mean you're entitled to people's forgiveness - but the fact that YOU are willing to forgive yourself means that you can really change and forgive others. If some people won't forgive you, it will be fine, no need to hate them: you can always find new people to gift your better self to.

This is what happens to Lucio. Will Asra ever truly forgive him for making him and orphan and killing you? No. But this doesn't mean that Lucio will be a villain forever. He will be still able to change, become a good man and gift his goodness to the MC.

As MC says to Julian: you can always come back.

3. What it takes to change

Now, I'm in general rly humble when talking about mental health bc I'm no doctor nor therapist. But living with people who went through hell and managed to survive (and knowing people who sadly didn't), made me able to figure a couple of things. So, brace yourself. I'm about to give you the ultimate recipe of healing.

It takes two things:

Compassion and Accountability

When all is said and done, this things are the two main things it takes to change and heal. Compassion for believing you can change and deserve happiness, seeing the world through other people's eyes and accountability to motivate you into stop being a dick and owning the shit you did (so yeah, maybe you should stop blaming your parents for who you are, sry, but it doesn't serves your cause).

and there's one and only one way to get them:

Positive human connections.

That's it. When you go to the bone to it, that's how one can change, heal and survive.

It's reduced to the very bone, simple idea: the whole process is much more complicated and it's ok if you get lost in it. But at the very root, this is it.

And this is WHY Lucio's route it's so great:

MC shows compassion, because they don't recall him doing anything bad to them.

MC helps him being accountable. They doesn't shelter Lucio from his guilt, never.

MC believes in them but NEVER puts up with their shit

MC doesn't believe his lies and doesn't lie to them either. No games: they talk through everything, they're kind but firm and true.

MC helps him accept other people's scorn towards him

I love this route because it's the one where the MC is the most clever. There's a murder mistery? Let's ask the ghost of the murdered one who did it. Everyone is mad at him? Let them be. Not bc "he deserves it", but bc people are entitled to be mad at him and to their idea about him. He has troubles with his mother? Don't get between them. Listen, understand, let them unravel their shit. Ghosts are mad at him? Sit with him, but don't do his emotional weightlifting. Mc puts Lucio in front of his deeds and holds his hand as he deals with them.

Folks: THIS is how it's done irl.

4. No dumb justification & the danger of privilege

There are a lot of shows about "why villains are like this" that paint them as a poor misunderstood saint who was mistreated by their parents. Like in Once Upon a Time or the Disney Villain's Live actions. I hate that stuff because they distort the plot to make the villain a misunderstood anti heroe who was a victim all along, so he's justified.

Guess what: they're not. If you actions are evil there's no justification. No retelling of your story: you made very bad choice and were an AH and that's it.

This is what happens with Lucio: in his route his story doesn't gets to be retold. It's an honest story about how Lucio, the villain, can choose to be the better man and benefit from it. It's a story about the inherent dangers of Privilege:

Lucio's story shows how dangerous privilege can be: he wasn't hold accountable for his actions while he was alive, bc he was pretty, powerful and rich. He loses his privilege, he gets his ass kicked, he find motivations to change in his desire to be loved. I know irl folks who got to adulthood without having to face how shitty they were bc of social privilege. It literally kept them from changing, healing and be happy. So beware, folks. Your privilege might be harming you in the first place, and the day you will face who you truly are without it WILL come. The later, the worst.

So, this is why I love Lucio's route. It's relatable and helps us to find the courage to face our demons, knowing that we can change. Knowing that we can forgive ourselves and accept others' scorn. It WILL be hard, it WILL be painful, there WILL be consequences, but eventually it will be worth the hassle.

So, long live the goatman, for he can change. And so do we.

#the arcana #the arcana game #lucio morgasson #lucios route #the arcana files