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#and its not a 'stopped being angry because tired' its
alottiegoingon · 2 days
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but i'm a cheerleader
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jackie taylor x fem!reader
summary: where reader is a cheerleader and jackie taylor is the football captain
warnings: jackie being too obvious and reader too oblivious, characters are aged up, 90's but no homophobia cause its pride month and bc i can, really cheesy and lots of fluff, not proofread
a year ago, when you made the decision to try out for the cheerleading team, you had no inkling of the repercussions that would follow. you were uncertain if cheerleading was the right thing for you, especially considering the many sexist comments aimed at the girls. yet, it would look quite good on your college application.
neither extremely popular nor a complete loner, you were content with your close-knit group of friends. however, everything shifted once you joined the team. suddenly, you found yourself the center of attention in the hallways, drawing looks of both amusement and envy, a situation you still hadn't fully adjusted to.
one person in particular seemed more entranced by you: jackie taylor. the football team captain constantly had her eyes on you. no matter where you were—be it the cafeteria, by your locker in the morning, or during class—you would eventually see her watching you, prompting you to quickly look away after making eye contact.
thinking it couldn’t get any worse, you were stunned to find jackie gazing at you from the bleachers during cheerleading practice. you nearly caused the entire pyramid of girls to collapse, resulting in numerous angry stares from the others and a lecture from the coach.
you were starting to suspect that there was something wrong with your face!
⚽︎
"this is getting really weird, i swear, tai," you blurt out as soon as you sit down beside your friend at lunch. after setting your tray on the table, you take a sip of orange juice and tune into your friends' discussion.
"you're overthinking it," your friend, van, steps in, swiping an apple from your tray, "it's jackie. she's harmless."
"right! except every time i look at her, she's staring right back at me. maybe she just hates me," you reply, trying to retrieve your apple but getting a slap on your hand instead.
"hate you?" lottie scoffs, "she's like butt-crazy for you. i bet she writes your name with hearts all around it. no wonder she's terrible at french."
that was an actual good argument. jackie was really bad and hearing her attemps of speaking french was torture. still, it would make absolute zero sense. jackie taylor was popular, stunning and smart and the fact that she was the captain only added to that. she was probably memorizing your flaws to make fun of you with her friends.
⚽︎
seeing your coach step onto the field with coach martinez, the one in charge of your friend’s, and jackie’s, football team, made your heart sink. you’d experienced this before, back when the schedule became so tight that they had to combine cheerleaders and jocks.
a really, really, really bad idea.
the field was huge, yet it still felt too small to avoid jackie’s piercing glare. the worst part wasn’t your constant stumbling and tripping over your own feet and the others', but the relentless urge to look back at her.
from the other side of the field, the girls’ taunts directed at jackie reached your ears, and you knew it was because of you. you weren't the only one to notice her stares.
“careful not to slip, jackie,” van teased, their breathy and tired voice not hindering them from poking fun while playing on opposite teams for practice. she chased jackie, trying to swipe the ball while gesturing to the ground.
“what? where?” jackie stopped and looked down, not wanting to slip in front of you, giving van just enough time to snatch the ball.
“on your own drool,” their joke made the entire team laugh, and even from a distance, you could see jackie’s face turn red, speechless.
what a dweeb, you thought, even if you were also smiling at the oddly funny moment moment.
⚽︎
despite all the teasing and awkward moments, you couldn't deny that jackie's constant attention was doing a number on your nerves. you couldn't decide if you liked it or not, if she hated you or not, if you should confront her or not. one way or another, she wasn't discreet at all.
in the very next saturday, your phone rang with tai's voice, inviting to a party. you hesitated for a moment, maybe a party was just what you needed to get your mind off things but, at the same time, it would be too naive of you to imagine that the thing you were fighting to avoid wasn't going to be in there as well
as you arrived at the place, you noticed the usual crowd already mingling. music blared, voices echoed, and the familiar scent of pizza, soda and alcohol filled the air. a very weird mix, you'd say.
you tried to relax, but your eyes instinctively scanned the room, searching for jackie. it didn't take long to find her. she was in the corner with a group of friends, a jacket draped over her shoulder and a pretty dress catching your eye. but you didn't want to cross her way, at least not now.
"someone's looking at you," lottie's voice linger in your ears, scaring you away from all the jackie taylor's thoughts inside your head.
"hi, lot," you ignore her words, not daring to look in the opposite direction, "i don't know what you're talking about."
"oh, come on, don't be so boring. jackie’s been staring at you all night."
you rolled your eyes, trying to focus on your drink and the conversation around you, but the weight of jackie's gaze was impossible to ignore. you stole a glance in her direction, only to find her quickly looking away, her cheeks tinged with a faint blush.
"seriously, what's her deal?" you muttered, more to yourself than anyone else.
lottie chuckles, "she likes you, duh. everyone knows it except you."
before you could respond, your other friends joined your little circle, a mischievous glint in their eyes. "so, are you finally going to talk to her or just keep pretending you don’t notice her staring?"
you sighed, feeling cornered. "I don't know. what if she hates me?"
"you are so complicated," tai groans, arm resting over van's shoulder, "just go find out!"
with a deep breath, you decided to take their advice. you just had to be confident.
instead of walking straight to jackie, you made your way over to the drinks table, trying to appear casual. she was close by and you figured grabbing a drink might be a discreet way to approach her. if it was too awkward, another word for 'if you were too much of a coward, you could just back off.
as you reached for a cup, your hands shook slightly. not only you had accidentally knocked over a few cups but also spilled soda all over the counter and the floor. the noise drew everyone's attention, including hers.
great, you thought, just what you needed.
before you could react, jackie stepped in, grabbing some napkins to help you clean up. her proximity made your heart race even more.
"you okay?" she asked, her voice gentle and concerned, wiping the counter around you. at least she wasn't judging you.
"yeah, thanks," you mumbled, feeling your cheeks burn. you could barely talk or breath at that moment, too stunned it even took you an extra second to help her clean up your mess.
noticing your jitter, as you both cleaned up, jackie glanced at you. "this party's pretty wild, huh?"
you offer her a nervous grin as she hands you a clean cup. "right, i guess people really like the weekends."
"absolutely. and they're probably too stressed with ms. jamison class. four pages in a day? that woman crazy," jackie's gaze softened as she glanced at you, attempting to ease the tension between you.
"what about her hair? she looks like she's stuck in the 70's," you added, feeling a peculiar flutter in your stomach as a tender giggle escaped from her lips.
the two of you stood there, the awkwardness lingering in the air like a heavy fog as the sound of your laughter slowly faded into silence.
"i gotta say, though, this wasn't what i had in mind when i decided to come here tonight," you admit, reaching a hand to grab a drink, being much more careful this time.
she looked up, her eyes locking onto yours. "and what was your plan?"
you hesitated for a moment, then blurted out,"honestly? trying to dodge you and those pretty eyes of yours that seem to follow me everywhere."
a look of surprise flashed across jackie's face, her eyebrows shooting up and her eyes widening briefly before she couldn't hold back a snicker.
"it's not funny, jackie," you interrupted her giggle,"why do you keep staring at me all the time? do you hate me or what?"
as your confusion amused her further, her grin widened. could she be any more obvious? "hate you? no, not at all. It's the opposite, actually."
you frowned, puzzled. "what do you mean?"
drawing nearer, jackie's gaze held an earnestness that sent a flutter through your chest. "i like you. a lot," you stole a glance downwards, observing her fingers twisting nervously. she seemed as jittery as you now. "i just didn't know how to tell you. and I guess I was too scared to find out if you felt the same."
her confession left you at a loss for words for a moment, this wasn't something you had prepared for. "so, you... like me?"
jackie nodded, a shy smile tugging at her lips. "yeah, i do. i thought i was being clear about that."
it all fell into place in an instant—the lingering looks, the nervousness, the way she seemed to be everywhere you were. feeling a warmth spread through you, you couldn't help but smile back. "i gotta say, that explains a lot."
jackie's laughter echoed softly, easing the tension in the room. "sorry, i just didn't know how to handle it."
you paused for a moment, gathering your thoughts. confident enough, you spoke up, "maybe we can figure it out together."
jackie's eyes lit up with enthusiasm. "i'd really like that."
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nahoney22 · 2 days
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I got a fun request for wrecker. nsfw number five and enemies to lovers number two. please combine as you see fit and for your own personal entertainment. Any rating is acceptable, because I saw the lines and said “that’s perfect! We never see Wrecker angry enough to yell.”
Under my Skin*** 🌊
🫧 Pairing: Wrecker x Female Reader
word count: 2.9k
prompts:
“What’re you staring at?” / “You, is that a problem?”
“Fuck you.” / “Say the time and place.”
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After being stranded in the middle of nowhere, yourself and Wrecker find yourselves staying at an inn for the night. And after some harsh truths, you both can’t resist the magnetic pull of each other anymore.
warnings: NSFW, 18+. Enemies to lovers, arguing, one bed trope, first kiss, rough kissing, neck kissing, praises, dirty talk, clit play, explicit sexual content and language, abrupt ending, not proofread.
authors note: sorry for the wait @gokyacetakal , I hope this is okay? Enjoy 🫧🩵
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Your luck seemed cursed sometimes, and today was no exception. Despite your repeated warnings, Wrecker insisted on his reckless plan. The outcome? Being stranded on a barren planet with the person you despised most in the galaxy: Wrecker.
Some might find it strange to dislike someone like Wrecker, but his incessant protective instincts, especially towards you, were infuriating. You were highly trained in combat, technology, first aid, bomb disposal—everything needed to be a soldier. Yet, he constantly overshadowed you.
“Explain to me why you couldn't just listen, Wrecker? Just this once!” you growled, surveying the desolate landscape, the cold sand sifting through your fingers as the moon cast its pale light on both of you.
“If we had taken your route, we'd be dead. I saved your life,” he scoffed, folding his massive arms across his chest, staring everywhere but at you.
You smirked bitterly. “If we had taken my route, we wouldn't have been ambushed by those raiders. We would have stayed undercover, avoided open terrain, and reached the rendezvous point unscathed. But no, you charged in like a Rancor, turning us into sitting ducks.”
He shifted uncomfortably, clearly aware you were right, and it irked him.
With a deep sigh, you grabbed your supplies and backpack, and started walking ahead, leaving Wrecker behind.
“Where are you going?” he called after you.
“To find out where we are and, ideally, get some food and shelter. Feel free not to follow,” you retorted, not even glancing back. But judging by the large shadow that soon appeared beside you, he did, much to your annoyance.
The walk was silent, the tension between you both thick and uncomfortable. The moon's dim light made the barren landscape appear even more haunting. Every step you took felt weighted by unspoken words and simmering anger.
Then, pain shot through your legs. You grunted, trying to conceal it, but the shin splints slowed you down considerably.
“Why are you slowing down?” Wrecker asked, his voice gruff beside you.
“It’s... nothing,” you sighed, adjusting your slipping backpack. “Just getting tired.”
“Lazy.”
“Shut up.”
You continued for a few more klicks, but the pain became unbearable. You had to stop, bending over to massage your shins in a futile attempt to ease the discomfort. Wrecker halted next to you, raising an eyebrow. “Shin splints?”
You remained silent for a moment, quietly impressed he recognised it immediately. Seeing no point in lying, you nodded.
“I’d give you a stim, but we’re out,” he muttered, waiting for you to compose yourself. As you took a step, you cried out in pain, nearly collapsing.
Wrecker quickly grabbed your arm, steadying you. “Easy there.” His voice is somewhat soft and you can’t help but feel the warmth of his touch on your skin.
Begrudgingly, you muttered a small, “Thanks.” You correct your posture and he lets go, making you suddenly feel cold. Strange.
In the distance, you spotted some lights, suggesting the possibility of a village or settlement. But given your condition, you weren’t sure you could make it.
“Wrecker, look over there,” you said, nodding towards the lights. He followed your gaze, his eyes narrowing as he confirmed the sight.
“I see it,” he replied, his voice gruff but attentive.
“You need to go and ask for help. Tell them what happened,” you urged, wincing as you shifted your weight to alleviate the pain in your shins.
He turned back to you, his expression softening as he read the pain etched on your face. “I’m not leaving you out here alone,” he said firmly. “I’ll carry you.”
Your eyes widened in surprise and discomfort. “No. Definitely not.” You shook your head vigorously, horrified at the thought of being carried like a child.
“We don’t have time to argue about this,” he grunted, his resolve unwavering as he stepped closer. “I’m carrying you.”
Before you could protest further, Wrecker slipped an arm under your legs and another around your waist, lifting you effortlessly into a bridal carry. His strength was incredible, and despite your initial resistance, you couldn’t help but feel a grudging gratitude.
The darkness of the night mercifully hid your flustered expression as your hands instinctively wrapped around the back of his neck for support, his grip on you secure.
"Don't drop me," you muttered, trying to mask your discomfort with a touch of humour.
He hums softly with amusement, the sound resonating in his chest. "No promises."
The lights in the distance grew brighter as Wrecker continued his determined trek with you in his arms . Each step he took seemed to bring a little more assurance that you would find safety, help and to get in contact with the others.
You didn’t know how long Wrecker had been carrying you, but the silence between you had grown deafening. The rhythmic sound of his footsteps against the sand and your own breathing seemed amplified in the stillness of the night.
Somehow, you found yourself gazing up at Wrecker. Your eyes traced the lines of his scarred face and his battered ear, remnants of countless battles and skirmishes.
“What are you staring at?” he grumbled, catching you off guard. His gaze remained fixed ahead, his voice a low rumble.
You glanced away briefly before meeting his eyes again. “You. Is that a problem?”
“Yeah, it’s annoyin’,” he muttered. Despite his gruff tone, you caught a flicker of insecurity crossing his face, a fleeting moment of vulnerability.
Personally, though you would never admit it to him, you thought his scars were fascinating. They told stories of resilience and survival. Of course, earning them undoubtedly would’ve been painful, but you couldn’t help but silently admire them.
“Nothing else to look at around here,” you mutter, gesturing to the barren landscape with a small, wry smile. The desolation of the planet offered no distractions, just endless stretches of sand and rock.
Wrecker huffed, his expression softening just a touch. “Yeah, well, don’t get used to it.”
After what felt like an eternity, the lights of the settlement finally grew close enough to reveal its source. A small, ramshackle village emerged from the darkness, an assortment of durasteel structures and flickering holosigns offering you both shelter for the night.
Wrecker carried you through the dusty streets, you shifting in his arms as onlookers gave you both curious glances. “How abou’ that one?” He nods to an inn with a flickering neon sign. It was almost rubble but if it gives you a place to rest, it was perfect.
Inside, the innkeeper, a grizzled old Twi'lek, eyed you both warily but softened when he saw your obvious fatigue and Wrecker’s determined expression.
He lets you down carefully and both of you pooled your remaining credits, just enough for a single room. As the Twi'lek handed you the fob, he mentioned an unfortunate detail.
“Only one bed in there,” he said gruffly. “Take it or leave it.”
You glanced at Wrecker, your annoyance bubbling up again. “Great. Just great.”
Wrecker shrugged, surprising you with his clearly unfazed look. “Better than nothin’.”
Luckily the room was just down the hall so you could just about walk, or should you say ‘hobble’, towards the room.
It was small and sparsely furnished, with a single, surprisingly large bed taking up most of the space. You dropped your gear near the door before turning to look at the bed with your hands on your hips.
“I’ll sleep on the floor,” you declared.
“Don’t be dumb,” Wrecker replied, setting his gear down and peeling off his armour. “We can share the bed. It’s big enough.”
You shot him a look with wide eyes. “Not happening.”
Wrecker’s eyes darkened with irritation. “Why do ya have to make everything so difficult?”
“Why do you always have to be the hero?” you snapped back, the frustration you’d been holding back for so long spilling out. “It’s like you think I’m incapable of handling myself. I’m trained, Wrecker. I can fight, I can think, I can take care of myself.”
His brow furrowed, confusion and irritation mingling on his face. “I know you can handle yourself. I’m just tryin’ to keep ya safe.”
“By constantly overshadowing me? By making decisions for me? Do you know how frustrating it is to have someone always step in like I’m some… some…helpless rookie?” you retorted, your voice rising as your hand flailed in the air. “I joined this squad to make a difference, not to be protected like some fragile thing.”
He rolls his eyes, folding his arms over his bread chest. “Maybe if you weren’t so stubborn and actually worked with me for once instead of against me, we wouldn’t be in this mess!” he shot back, stepping closer. The glow from the room's dim light fixture cast long shadows on his rugged features.
“I’m not against you, Wrecker. I’m against you treating me like I’m less capable. Like I’m not part of this team. You don’t trust my judgment. You didn’t listen to me back there, and now we’re stuck on this kriffing planet,” you shouted, the words pouring out in a torrent of pent-up anger and hurt.
“Fine, you want the truth?” he growled, his voice low and dangerous, like the rumble of an approaching sandstorm. “I don’t want ya to get hurt. You might not see it but I do; you put yourself at risk way too many times.”
The intensity of his admission took you aback, but your anger still simmered beneath the surface. “And you don’t? I don’t need a savior, Wrecker. I need a partner. Someone who respects my abilities and trusts me to do my part.”
Wrecker sighed heavily and rubbed the side of his temple, clearly getting a headache. “Whatever. We’ll talk about this another time. So stop actin’ like a brat and lay in bed.”
“You’re the kriffing brat,” you grumbled, looking away from him, but he heard you.
“Fuck you,” he finally snapped, his chest heaving with barely restrained emotion.
You had never heard or seen him swear like this before. His eyes were dark, filled with an intensity you couldn’t quite place. It wasn’t rage. It was something more complex, something that made something in you snap as well. Without really thinking about it, you retorted, “Say the time and place.”
You both stilled, your breaths echoing around the small room as the weight of what you’d said settled in. His jaw clenched, and that unreadable look intensified in his eyes. Meticulously, he slid one glove off, his movements slow and deliberate. “Alright. How about right here?”
Your eyes widened, but you didn’t deny him. Words stuck in your throat as you watched him slide the other glove off before he had you backing up into the wall. “Right now.”
“W-Wrecker… I…”
You couldn’t stop the soft, muffled whine that escaped against Wrecker’s lips as he kissed you, hot, messy, and slightly aggressive. But you welcomed it, drawn to him like a moth to a flame. Your eyes fluttered closed as he backed you up against the wall with a thud.
Subconsciously, you tilted your head, allowing one of his large hands to slide up to the nape of your neck, cupping it firmly and keeping you close. His lips worked expertly against yours, slick with spit as he pried your mouth apart and slipped his tongue inside which made your core pang with a heat.
“Mmmm,” you moaned softly into his mouth, going numb against his body. The kiss was fierce, full of pent-up frustration and longing, and it consumed you both. His free hand gripped your waist, and you found your legs spreading open when his hot, wet muscle danced with yours. The kiss deepened, becoming a battle of tongues and teeth for dominance while simultaneously giving in to the other.
His other hand moved to your hip from your neck, pulling you even closer, and you could feel the hard planes of his body pressed against yours. You tug on his under armour and you feel a large smirk tug on his lips before he breaks the kiss, pulling himself out of his clothes where your eyes almost bulge out of your head at the sight of his large, bare muscular chest. “Wow.” You mutter to yourself, breathless.
“Like what you see, pretty girl?” He tilts his head down at you, taking your hand and placing it against his sturdy abdomen.
You swallow, feeling your panties getting increasingly wetter as your fingers trace across his bare skin. “Uh-huh.”
Wrecker then lifted you effortlessly, your legs wrapping around his waist instinctively as he carried you to the bed. The galaxy seemed to blur as he laid you down gently, his large frame hovering over you, his eyes locked onto yours with an intensity that sent shivers down your spine.
As your hands slid up his broad chest, feeling every scar and vein until they wrap around his neck, you tugged him down to you, the desire for him thick like the growing appendage in his pants. “Can I look at you?” He whispers, soft for such a big man.
You nod eagerly and allow Wrecker to slide his hands under your shirt, caressing your stomach before he helps pull your shirt over your head leaving your upper body bare apart from just a bra.
“You look so pretty, baby.” He admires, one hand cupping your breast over your bra that had you softly moaning until his fingers dug into your waist, his grip almost bruising but in a way that only makes your body tremble in pleasure.
He crawls over the top of you, stealing your lips in another deep kiss. You had broken the kiss briefly, gasping for air, but Wrecker didn’t give you much of a chance to breathe. His lips were back on yours in an instant, more insistent and demanding. The intensity of his need matched your own, and you felt yourself melting into him, “Why didn’t we do this sooner?” he murmured against your lips, his voice rough and breathless.
You could only respond with a desperate, needy kiss, your fingers digging into his shoulders, pulling him even closer than before. Wrecker's weight pressed down on you, grounding you, his warmth enveloping you completely. His hands roamed your body, memorising every curve and contour, while his lips continued their relentless assault on yours. Each kiss, each touch, was a declaration, a recognition of everything you both had kept bottled up for so long.
As he moved his lips to your neck, trailing hot, open-mouthed kisses along your skin, you arched into him, a soft moan escaping your lips. His name fell from your lips like a prayer and full of need.
“Wrecker…” you whispered, your voice trembling.
He paused, lifting his head to look into your eyes, his gaze softening slightly as he brushed a strand of hair from your face. “I’ve got you,” he murmured, his tone a tender intensity that made your heart skip a beat.
In that moment, surrounded by the soft hum of the room and the distant sounds of the settlement outside, you felt something shift between you. The anger, the frustration, the tension—all of it melted away, replaced by a deep, undeniable connection that neither of you could ignore.
As Wrecker’s lips found yours once more, you felt his hand slide down your body, his touch sending electric shivers through you. His fingers found their way to the waistband of your pants, and without breaking the kiss, he slipped his hand inside. The sensation was overwhelming, and you arched into him, needing him, a gasp escaping your lips as his fingers brushed against your slick heat.
“Oh, fuck…” you moaned, your breath hitching at the sensation. His touch was both gentle and possessive, sending waves of pleasure through your body.
Meanwhile, you could feel his arousal pressed against you, hard and insistent.
“Feels like you’ve been wanting this as much as I have,” he whispered, his voice husky with desire.
You could only nod, too overwhelmed to form words. His fingers moved with practiced skill, teasing and exploring, driving you closer to the edge with every touch.
His lips moved back to your neck, his breath hot against your skin as he continued to drive you wild with his touch and kisses. Your hands roamed his body, feeling the hard muscles beneath his skin.
Wrecker’s fingers slid down further, parting your folds and finding your clit, circling it with an expert touch that had you crying out. Your hips bucked against his hand, seeking more friction, more of the pleasure he was giving you.
“Wrecker… please…” you begged, your voice a desperate whisper.
He didn’t need any further encouragement. His movements became more urgent, his touch more demanding as he brought you closer and closer to the edge. The intensity of the moment was overwhelming, every sensation heightened, every touch electric. “Good girl. Cum for me.”
And then, with a final, shattering kiss, he pushed you over the edge, his fingers delving deeper into your pussy as your body trembled with the force of your release. You clung to him, your breath coming in ragged gasps, your mind reeling from the intensity of it all. “That’s it sweetie, you did so well.”
As the waves of pleasure subsided, you lay there, wrapped in his arms, your bodies pressed close together. Everything outside the room suddenly felt distant and unimportant, the only thing that mattered was you two… whatever you were.
Wrecker’s eyes met yours, a mixture of satisfaction and something deeper reflected in his gaze. “I guess we don’t need to argue about the bed anymore.”
You couldn’t help but laugh, tracing a finger over his skin. “Yeah, I guess not.”
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Wrecker Works
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144 notes · View notes
Note
Hello! I hope you're having a good day :) for fic prompts (yay I finally thought of one) maybe one of our guys casually referencing something a bully in their past taught them was true about themself and the other being like??? No???
Cheering!! Absolutely never get tired of writing scenes like this!
--
Ed hadn’t even questioned it when he said it.
They’d been working on painting the library with the prettiest light purple paint. It didn’t really have any books yet, but it was going to be a library, so that was what they were calling it already. They’d been joking around, and somehow they’d gotten on the topic of Ed’s sword fighting lessons, and Stede had remarked that he wondered why Ed hadn’t tried to teach anyone else.
“Mostly because I was flirting with you,” Ed laughed, and then he’d paused, and he’d just owned up to the reason that was probably the most true, but, because they were trying to be open and available with each other, he decided to take it a bit further. “And, y’know, I have anger issues, so I always thought it was for the best not to be swinging swords around anyone if I could help it, right?”
And Stede had looked at him, confusion all over his face. “Sorry, what?”
“Uh, I was flirting with you?”
“After that.”
“Oh,” Ed realized, clicking his tongue, looking down at his paint roller so he didn’t have to look at Stede. “I have anger issues.”
“Uh, no,” Stede said, almost laughing.
“Stede,” Ed sighed, “I know you love me, I love you, but we’re trying to be vulnerable with each other, and you really shouldn’t -”
“Oh, honey, no.” Stede put his own paint roller back in its tray, wiping a few specks of paint off on the light shorts he’d put on for painting as he crossed the room to Ed’s side. “Thank you for telling me. But who the fuck told you that?”
“Uh,” Ed said. “Does it matter? It’s -”
“It is not true,” Stede said, so firmly that Ed looked up in surprise. “You do not have anger issues.”
Ed ducked his head.
“I have more trouble controlling my anger than you do, honestly,” Stede snorted. “Why do you think…?”
Ed cleared his throat a bit sheepishly. “Uh, I’m really violent -”
“You were a pirate.” Stede shrugged. “Again. I’m more violent than you are.”
“Uh-huh,” Ed snorted.
“Really,” Stede insisted. “I’ve seen you get angry, Ed. Like when that awful man called you a donkey - if anyone did that to you now, I’d probably shoot them in their faces, but you gave him every chance before you got mad.”
“And then I ordered him skinned with a snail fork,” Ed mumbled. “Because I’m -”
“I would’ve done worse,” Stede said immediately. “Honestly, Ed, I’m in awe of your restraint.”
Ed…restraint. Huh.
He allowed the thoughts to dance across his mind, for just a moment before he pushed them away.
“If I don’t have anger issues,” Ed started hesitantly, occupying himself with re-applying paint on his roller, “then, uh…”
“Oh, lucky for you,” Stede said brightly, “I can tell you all about what my boyfriend Ed is like. He’s amazing. He’s my best friend.”
Ed couldn’t help his smile at Stede’s unbearably fond tone. “Go on, then.”
“Alright!” Stede almost leaned back against the wet wall before Ed stopped him, and he giggled, his nose scrunching with it. “Well. My Ed is so patient. He always explains things so well. He never yells, but he can get a bit chatty when he’s excited. When he’s annoyed with me, he gets the cutest line between his eyebrows.”
Ed pretended to pout at him.
“That one,” Stede laughed, pressing a kiss to the grumpy line on his forehead. “He’s very sweet. He’s always gentle, and kind, and he’s very usually cheerful. He loves making people laugh.”
“Sounds like a pretty alright guy,” Ed said, trying to sound very casual and not at all like he was choked up.
“Oh, he is,” Stede grinned. “He’s amazing.”
“Awright,” Ed grumbled, deciding that was enough introspection for one day, and he dabbed a bit of paint on the tip of Stede’s nose.
Stede yelped at him, and then chased him around the room trying to get him back, and before long Ed was bargaining for his fucking life before Stede could get paint on him.
And when they’d negotiated a truce and decided to make lunch, Ed took Stede’s hand, and he squeezed it tight, and for the first time, he didn’t worry about hurting Stede when he held him.
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storm-of-feathers · 1 year
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jojotier · 1 year
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how do you write a story where the protagonist dies?
not one where the protagonist is fighting you every step of the way- not one where she is begging you to spare her life. I feel like that's easier, because you just set fate in motion, and hey, for the story you want, you can't interfere. it was always going to end like this. like yes I'm mourning you, but the laws of this world I've built dictate that your death is inevitable. Sorry. It will be over soon. Then we can rest.
but what do you do when your protagonist wants to die?
not because of suicidal ideation, because that, too, would be easier to deal with. you show her that life is still worth living. you show her kindness, and love, and even if she still constantly wants to die at least she can see that she might need to work on that, and you can at least promise her that things will be okay. it got better for me, so it's really just common decency to make sure it gets better for you.
but what if your protagonist has lived too long? What if there isn't any getting better because this is better, this is as good as it's going to get, and to live is to repeat a thousand years of illness and stasis?
The win state's long since been reached. She's loved and lost and longs only to go home to the place her mother and her mother's mother and her grandmother's mother has died.
how cruel am I, then, that my first instinct is to deny her?
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bingobongobonko · 9 months
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taking a drag of smoke but its not even a cigarette its a little rolled up blunt full of nitrogen dioxide. i lost my wallet friday and i can't find it, and i lost my binder today and i found it, but also i lost my wallet. so thats not fun. im literally unsure where it could be. kind of hate myself a bit, and by a bit i mean a lot; im all for being patient with oneself but i am actually so forgetful and ditzy it pisses me off. i dont know where any of my things are, and now im missing my WALLET. why do i suck so fucking bad. whats wrong with you man like genuinely. i want to sucker punch myself the hardest humanly possible, literal fucking idiot.
does anyone have advice or tips for tracking it down, or in the future honestly, to make it harder to forget where things are?? i have a bag where my things are supposed to go. it just. sometimes never ends up in the bag (i forget to. because of course i do)
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softerpixels · 8 months
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been struggling to actually open the game and play lately
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loveofastarvingdog · 8 months
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okay going to sleep so i stop feeling bitter and sad
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puppysdog · 1 year
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having a whats the point of it day
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#I can’t stand her. I can’t stand living in the same house as her.#I hate that I’m too dumb to ever make it on my own and I hate that she tells me that every time I have to interact with her#as if I don’t already know. she’s been telling me for years and years how dumb I am and she acts like I don’t already know that without her#I already knew that I was too dumb by the time I was 8 years old. and that’s not even from her telling me#it from all my old teachers who couldn’t teach me and gave up on me.#its from observing other people my age and realizing how much slower I am than them.#it’s from me not having any kind of passion or ambition for anything since I was 8#and that’s because they kept drilling it in my head that I was never gonna get anywhere and never going to amount to anything if I didn’t do#if I didn’t do better when I was already doing my best.#I was already doing every thing I could and it was never good enough for her. it was never good enough for anybody.#I’m already doing my best. and they’re all disappointed and angry with me for not doing better#I hate that I have to rely on her. on them.#I want to be on my own so bad.#I want her to stop getting into my business.#because she acts like this every time I have to interact with her#and she wonders why I stay locked up in my room all the time#I’m tired of constantly being bullied by my own parent.#I’m tired of having to rely on her because she won’t let me get a job ‘’yet’’#she keeps saying ‘’after your drivers license’’. ‘’after the pandemic’’. ‘’after your ged’’. then I can get a job and have my own money#and not have to rely on her so much. AFTER I DO ALL THOSE IMPOSSIBLE THINGS THAT SHE KEEPS TELLUNG ME IM TOO DUMB TO DO ‘’YET’’#she’s the one who won’t let me progress in anything so I can get out of here#and yet she treats me like pest that lives in her house. she treats me like dirt. she treats me like I got like this on purpose.#SHES THE ONE THAT MADE ME LIKE THIS. YEARS AND YEARS OF NEGLCT AND ABUSE FROM HER.#AND SHE REFUSES TO ACKNOWLEDGE IT.#she won’t let me move out. she’ll find out when the ne place is somehow and she’ll drag me back here kicking and screaming#she will hold me hostage if I try to leave#sometimes I think about the kids who somehow were able to get out of their parents house and away from them as soon as they turned 18 or#or younger. they’re the lucky ones. I wish I could have been that lucky. to get away from them and never have to come back.#I wish I could get out of here someday soon. ghost my whole family. to never have to see them or talk to them ever again.#to have a place all to myself. to have a place where I am comfortable being my dumb happy little self. that’s all I ever wanted.
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reggiestein · 1 year
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seeing art or like fanfic of him where they try to like make him normal or overly hot/cute makes me SICK. KEEP HIS GREY SKIN. KEEP HIS AWKWARDNESS. KEEP HIS VOICE CRACKS. KEEP THE FACT THAT HES KINDA CRINGY ITS OKAY. KEEP THAT HES GOOFY PLEASE its literally what makes him so great stop being scared of his flaws
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rotturn · 1 year
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every day on this trip is worse
#i can not stand my sister at all i truly can't#she's been yelling and arguing for 10 minutes because she has her hair straightner but mum doesnt have a plug converter#and she keeps yelling ab how her fringe is fucked when it looks literally the same as it has this entire trip#and is yelling ab how its mums fault as if she couldn't have bought this shit herself before we left#i am just. so over this#any fun that would come from being on an international trip is immediately taken away by my mum and sister constantly getting angry#and either yelling or getting passive aggressive and making me feel horrible its just so tiring#bc i feel like such a fucking asshole for not enjoying an international trip that i will never get the opportunity for again#like this cost so much money and it feels awful to say i dont want it or that its not fun or whatever#but i am constantly dissociating and trying not to cry and ive had meltdowns and panic attacks almost every day but im not allowed to show#them bc my sister tells me to calm down and not be so dramatic and everything is a sensory nightmare#and i have a very specific diet at home and its not available outside of nz and there arent really any worthy substitutes and even if there#are i wont know bc i dont speak the languages so im just living on shitty little protien drinks and hot chocolate which makes me feel worse#and on top of it all im sick and i havent had any chance to rest bc my sister wont stop ab going places and doing thingd#and gets pissy if i dont want to#and its just so fucking difficult i knew that being stuck w them for 2 months would suck but its been 1 week and i cant do this anymore#i have no other option but i seriously don't know what to do i don't know how to handle this im at my limit#travelling is stressful and anxiety inducing and its hard enough doing it once on my own#let alone every 2 or 3 days w family that rushes and runs late and has 10000 bags that never fucking fit on the trains#and its always me left standing in the aisle blocking peoples path with nowhere to go bc my sisters giant suitcase wont fit anywhere#i hate this so much and its making me hate all the cities and countries we go to bc i dont get to experience the places i only get#to experience fucking breakdowns and im constantly drinking water bc im constantly dehydrated from either crying or panicked breathing#its a mess and i hate it and i want to go home I haven't felt comfortable or safe since i left home and i wont feel either until i go back#but that isnt until the last couple days of january so i just have to keep dealing with things getting worse by the day#negative cw#rant cw#ask to tag cw
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i want to be excited about the new pjo book but at this point in my life i just feel too cynical/overly critical of blatant cash grabs that i’m just expecting it to be shit :///
#i cant tell if this outlook is good or bad#bc on the one hand i dont want to give my money to capitalist corporations that hold so much power (economically and culturally#and to a much smaller extent politically) and im so tired of all these reboots and sequels and remakes and revivals etc etc etc#that i dont want to encourage it! i want it to stop! so i dont want to contribute to it! and i want other ppl to see how low-quality#all these shows and movies and books are!#but then on the other hand: i'm so cynical about it and so hyper-critical of the media i consume#that i wonder if im making my life more miserable?#like do i see it as a point of pride to not engage in shitty media like mcu movies? the answer is probably yes!#so does that mean im hypocritical about shit or taking the fun out of harmless things? i dont know!#(and obviously this doesnt apply to stuff thats actively harmful. racist military propaganda like certain mcu movies/shows are NOT equivalen#to a percy jackson book getting published 14 years after the end of the original series.#) but that being SAID i just...AHHH.#i think i want to be happy about this#but instead im just kind of annoyed?#in a 'is nothing sacred?' kind of way.#because it very much IS a cash-grab cop-out. even the premise looks lame as hell#and i want it to be good but i think it'll be very bad.#i guess ill just have to wait and see. if it turns out to be actually very good then ill be ecstatic#but if its just mediocre like im expecting. then i think ill feel really angry#and then ill feel alone in that anger because everyone is so hungry for consuming content content content these days#that everyone is foaming at the mouth over this announcement bc theyll eat up ANYTHING related to content they already like.#and arent capable of being critical about it.#but then that circles back to my ORIGINAL question by wondering if we NEED to be as critical as im being AT ALL.#maybe its nbd and i should just let people have their fun! or maybe its fine for me to be annoyed! maybe both???? fuck me idk.#just some thoughts#pjo#mine
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srkgirlblogger · 2 months
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#im going to sound crazy and angry but thats bec i am. i hope my mom dies#wont stop yelling at me. wont stop being passive aggressive all the time and criticising everything i do. wont stop treating me like shit#and then making me feel guilty for being mad at her.#shes always complaining abt me being lethargic and tired and she thinks its because i dont eat good (i eat atleast one meal everyday and#i eat healthier than almost every single kid of my age that i know) or bec i eat too little (after she literally made us give up eating#breakfast when we were like 14 and yelled at me for wanting to eat something for breakfast).#shes a dickhead. it never occurs to her that maybe me being continuous depressed for almost half of my life is a factor in my tiredness.#and im constantly anxious and i used to cry whenever i would pick up a pencil to draw bec i wasnt good at it and i wouldnt get to the#college i need to go to get away from this house if i didnt know how to draw. and literally ive just wanted a stupid skateboard for like#years at this point and she told me shed get me one on my birthday which was two months ago. and even before that when we were in the store#she told me she was going to buy one weeks before my birthday and then got mad at me even when jntold her I didn't want one then. now shes#not even pretending to care about it anymore. + she told me she was going to kick me out of the house if i failed my entrance exam days#after. actually no months after ive kept on talking to her about re attempting my exam if i fail it the first time around.#i hope she rots in hell and i dont even believe in hell#delete later
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mmyneonlights · 2 months
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i think i need to eat a fucking bullet
#was sad and my boy assumed it was because he didnt want to fuck me#now. to be fair. its something i get insecure about and i was coming on to him. but it kind of hurt that he saw me upset and jumped to#not only it being about that but also that i was angry at him for it. and he got defensive and seemed so pissed at me#and saying 'its not *my* fault im just tired'#which is true but like. dude. i know. its nice but idc if we fuck.#it just really hurt my feelings he assumed that.#and i just got kinda quiet so he asked what was wrong and i#was struggling to talk about it because it takes me forever to process my feelings on things#and i said i had to go to the bathroom so i could go have a think#but he stopped me and said 'please talk to me' so i was like okay. i gotta say something#and i started and stopped a couple times trying to figure it out and he just said 'nevermind' and went to sleep.#he sounded so fucking disgusted with me.#and i started bawling and said sorry and weny to the bathroom.#and he just stayed in bed#hes asleep now.#im shut in the bathroom trying so hard to calm down but i cant stop sobbing and i feel like im going to throw up#i get that hes tired#but id been saying we should go to bed for hours and he wanted to stay up and watch a movie#and no matter how tired he is acting like that isnt fucking okay#im so angry and hurt and sad and scared and i dont know what to do#and hes fucking sleeping#i literally dont know what to do i cant sleep by him but im too upset to be safe going anywhere else i will crash my fucking car if i try to#drive somewhere. and i dont have anybody else. i dont have anyone except him#i dont have anyone except him to turn to#and he saw that i was hurt and got mad at me then went to sleep
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