#and thats not gonna stop u from being able to talk to me abt it anyway????? like 2/3 of our conversations atm are abt bg3

[puppyeared]

ive made myself more wet and pathetic

#new icon because im SUFFERING. im in HELL #its so bad. i had to sign out of discord so now im both lonely and stressed #because i KNOW im still gonna get dstracted. i just did making this URGH #how good are brains at working around things. i once set a 7AM alarm on my phone with snooze cause i was so sure my brain would #be too lazy and keep snoozing instead of actually turning it off. but nay it either kept sleeping through the alarms and snoozing #or actually managed to turn off the alarm half awake that i barely remembered it and then waking up late #i actually have a track record of climbing out of bed and turning my alarm off without remembering. which is impressive bc i have a loftbed #the other thing is setting fake deadlines so make myself panic into doing things ahead of time. but unfortunately that doesnt work either #because if theres one thing my brain will put all its energy into remembering its self assurance. meaning i WILL be able to remember #the real deadline even if i try to trick myself. cant ask someone to give me a fake deadline either #the only things keeping me going rn is that i have deadlines due at least 1 day between each other and excitement being able to talk with #crow after break. but you can see how well thats going <- ignores long term rewards in favor of short term pleasure #BTW CROW IF YOURE READING THIS IM SO SORRY TURNING OFF MY DISCORD WITH BARELY ANY EXPLANATION #im a huge fucking dumbass and i had barely enough impulse control not to block everyone in my dms because i realized that would send a real #really bad msg. youre not distracting me im distracting myself and i promise youre not annoying me i just really like talking to you and #thats why im just barely stopping myself from signing in. I WANT TO TALK TO U LOTS BUT AT THE SAME TIME IM KICKING MYSELF FOR DOING IT #you can be a little mad at me btw cause i definitely could have done that better but i was all over the place abt how to do it without #making u think im ignoring you. IF THAT MAKES SENSE. SORRY #yapping #doodles #puppysona #edit but last week i tried to schedule and give myself work periods and break periods using my class schedule #and reminders on my phone to tell me when to start and stop. can you guess what happened

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#im just gonna complain abt it here bc i just have to accept that i can't irl bc no one else gets it #its hard to b a dyslexic grad student. u have to read so much. and its good. lots of reading is good. u just have to contend with a soul #crushing amout of discouragement at the fact u just kinda cant read while ur peers r like sure i can read this in class and have things to #say abt it. if u make me read in my head in class i literally cannot fucking tell u what i just read. not a god damn thing and if i try to #let my computer read to me i cant fucking pay attention for long enough so i just have to accept that from here on out ill have to #physically read papers aloud which i hate so much. its the only way i can fucking understand things and it still makes me feel dumb bc ill #somehow still space out while reading and have to reread like 4 times before i understand wtf is being said. it takes forever and it takes #energy and i dont like talking very much and it also restricts me to only being able to read at home which is frustrating #and im like i need to stop my brain from distracting myself with things that dont matter and my counselor is like: ur ocd is trying to make #work ur whole life and im like yeah thats how i got it. its the only way i can keep swimming with the non dyslexics #so its like wtf do i do? i kinda have to take the hit and make work my whole life rn. morn the loss of other things for a while #i dunno im still a bummer rn. like im probably coming off as more an asocial freak than normal bc its hard to talk ans maintain conversation #rn. but whatever. sometimes things just suck and theres nothing u can do abt it but accept it and move on. ill learn lots of things with all #the reading i have to do and that's never a bad thing ...no matter how much i dont give a fuck abt animals #like jesus. i could not even begin to give a fuck about like 95% of mammals. fish r cool tho. plants too #but microbes is where its at. i dont understand y ppl dont understand how cool they r. oh well ill just have to tell them #if i can find my fucking enthusiasm. ugh i have to make one of my classes read a paper and i have to work with someone abt find it. she #works with like rabbits. i refuse to assign a mammal paper. i fucking refuse. we will do plants or microbes or fucking paleontology #i will fight her on this. ugh. light filtering or orchid speciation would b perfect. annoying #at least i get to work with some culturs this week #unrelated

[toastsnaffler]

i keep getting irrationally miffed at ppl 😐😐

#'impressed by how much u can talk abt this considering youve not played either game' #fuck off. as if im not just trying to show interest bc u + another friend are both into them + constantly talk abt them in our gc!! #i mean since u guys talk abt them all the time + theyre huge on tumblr like. it would be hard for me to not know anything abt them at all #literally what else can i talk to u guys abt anyway. i dont think there are any interests i personally have that they both gaf abt #if anything they actively dislike most of the things im hyperfixated on. or at least she does so like i cant bring that up can i. #all i did was share a post i saw on tumblr that i thought was funny. its not like i had some negative/controversial opinion #i just saw it and thought hey that makes me think of my friends bc they like those things maybe theyll find it funny too!! #dog sitting outside the door with rly big sad eyes offering them a stick i found in a puddle #i like listening to them talk and i will eventually play some of the games theyre into myself cuz they make them sound rly cool #and even if theyre not my kind of thing i like sharing interests with other ppl and sometimes thats enough for me to be able to enjoy it #i literally own some of them already but im just not in the mental space to start smth new right now. which i have SAID!!!! #why do u even care girl. as if u dont already have a ton of friends playing it that ur talking to abt it???? i wont have anything to add #and thats not gonna stop u from being able to talk to me abt it anyway????? like 2/3 of our conversations atm are abt bg3 #man. i know its not that deep but it makes me kinda sad for some reason. im just trying. i guess next time ill just let u guys talk- #to each other or at me and not comment or say anything so u can pretend im not here or whatever it is u want #ughh. she probably didnt even mean it like that and ill feel stupid for getting annoyed and delete this later but whatever. #might work out early today and then i can like draw or play a game or smth the rest of the day. alright lets go #.vent #listening to my silly little jfunk/jazz/soul playlist and i already feel over it. healing

[vipersiia]

XYX HEADCANONS

i have recently joined the bloomic discord and talked abt xyx, with,,, so many people and here r my headcanons, there are,,, a Lot of them and they are so so so fluffy i promise

OKAY SO FIRST OF ALL - he has such a thing for petnames, and will Melt if u reciprocate

absolute pro at not being able to take what he can dish out, dont fret though, he absolutely builds a tolerance

ironically uses terrible pet-names in public, if you use some on him he Will make it a competition and he Will win ("snookums here wants a refund on this." "yes sorry, mcdreamy here said it didn't look good on me" "oh schmoopy , how you wound me i did not sa that")

xyx is such a people-pleaser, so he Knows what you like and what you don't, he'll keep an eye on your expressions subtly ("hey babe why is there so much snack you really like in our pantry?" "it was on sale!")

he will Spoil you, he's not the type to spend a lot of money on himself but on You?? oh you better watch out

still careful with his money but if you're eyeing that bag, or pair of shoes, or poster, he will buy it for you.

even if you off-handedly comment wanting something, expect it in your arms Soon ("i saw this really cool poster at the mall today?" "oh really? what did it look like doll?" "it was like, of my favourite character holding their love interest" "oh thats very cool" schemes)

will absolutely do the evil villain chair in dark thing with Cat if you come home late ("i've been,, expecting you" "babe its 1 am what are you doing up?")

he knows your favourite drink, exactly how you like it, and it tastes perfect everytime. YOU NEVER TOLD HIM EITHER, he just had you try a buncha things and watched your reactions ("hey love, im trying out a new recipe, wanna try?" "of course!")

dont think about it but seeing him playing with cat, watching the muscles in his arm flex??? him Noticing you noticing and flexing a lil harder, before going all out, Cat meowing indignantly over his bicep???

stop thinking about xyx coming home from work, seeing you and Cat cuddling on the couch?? being so in love that he scored someone as amazing as you?? he is just, so so so, in love with you at the moment?? that he just, comes over, picking u both up and twirlin you around. Cat immediately, outraged bats him the face but he doesn't notice because you're giggling so hard rn

if he's meeting your parents??? ohhh be prepared, he is such a smooth talker and hes Proud. He comes in, nicest most neutral cologne, nice powersuit, a subtle chain necklace with your initial???

he is All smooth talk, keepin an eye out for any cues of like or dislike on topics, always complimenting whoever cooked

when getting to the Interrogation? oh he's Ready ("so what do you do for a living" "oh well i work as a lawyer, it makes me elated to be able to provide for mc like i can" "nice, nice" *visibly impressed*)

the car ride home after??? oh he is Menace, he is all grins, puffin out his chest like a bird ("doll they loOoooveee me" "did you see that? arent you proud love?") you're gonna have to keep saying yes but its okayyy because you're both sickeningly in love with eachother

him being hella cheesy, tellin u one day ("hey doll, i bet i can hold the entire universe in my hands" "what??") and immediately cupping your face??? pulling you into a soft kiss??

you keeping that in ur mind,,, ready to strike back?? sitting on the couch with him laying between them, cheek pressed into your thigh as you both play with Cat? when Cat leaves, leaning down and cupping his face in your hands??? ("you are so gorgeous babe") and he goes Red (mc - 1 / xyx - 4million), his breath Stops.

leaning down to kiss him??? catching him even more off-guard?? absolute knock-out. he tries so hard to play it off ("ill never be as gorgeous as you doll") but being sooo off his game? so caught off guard??

a sunshower happening, cue you, dancing in the rain like a madman??? him coming over and seeing you?? glad u cant see him because he is Positive he looks so sappy rn. eventually meeting his eye?? running up to him and grabbing him by the hand?? leading him into the rain?? he immediately takes over the dance, spinnin and twirlin you around.

pulling you into his arms?? arms resting on your hips as you grab him by the face?? pulling him into a kiss???? laughter breaking out between you two, as he peppers your face in kisses??

doing research on filipino wedding customs, finding out that you traditionally ask the parents for their blessing

ASKING XYX'S PARENTS FOR THEIR BLESSING?? going over to their house for a dinner plan, getting him distracted and asking his parents for their blessing??? planning the wedding with them??? burning the unity candle?? the rice toss?? the money dance???

at the altar, can't even get though the first line of his vows before he cries ( "and i, xyx tak-" *literally sobbing*)

DOING HARANA FOR HIM??? getting all the members of the bloomic server to participate, as you sing his praises? good at singing or not he is so choked up in giggly, hands over face ugly bawling

lighting the unity candle with him is a whole ordeal, neither of you can stay still long enough to keep the flame steady, almost lighting the tablecloth on fire

him holding you as close as you can fit against him?? teary eyed all over again because wow, he cant believe that you really wanted to marry him??

post first dance, as the night wanes, hiding behind the couples table, on the floor, in his arms??? as he feeds u mango sticky rice and vice versa???

sayin sum cheesy shit like ("oops i missed a spot, hold still love") before leaning in for a kiss??? not realizing the photographer AND videograper saw this and got it all in 4k??

the discord prompts that inspired me, thank u i luv u all(real)

#viper.txts #blooming panic #bloomic #xyx #blooming panic xyx #xyx bp #xyx x reader #headcanons

[dominic-sessa]

life update!!!!

hi hello friends good morning good afternoon good evening its that time of the month again! this isnt really a big life update like the last time bcs i just thought id list down a bunch of things ive had on my mind.

first of all, im very happy to announce that i was able to watch 16 movies last march !! exciting!! i know ive said the last time that i quit the bingewatching thing but HONESTLY im in a work from home setup and the only way to keep me inspired is by watching a movie ... i am yet to find other ways to stay inspired so watching movies will just do for now... ALSO im gonna try to update my newsletter for the first time this year and itll probably be about the movies that i saw this march that i liked ! im now comfortable with turning the newsletter to be more about movies bcs nothing major has been happening in my life lol . so pls stay tuned for that newsletter post if ur interested!

another thing is ive decided to make this blog more personal! for the past year ive made this blog to be more about movies and gifs and stuff, and as much as i love getting the notes and reading ppl's tags, im going to try and make this blog work for me this time :) hope it doesnt get annoying or something... im also in the process of fixing my about pages and tags and all. ive used tumblr since 2012 so im still struggling with the setup. LIKE yes i want to maximize the fact that you can edit html pages and its cute and lets me be creative but at the same time, im on my phone majority of the time . and i dont like being on my laptop after work because ive literally just been using a laptop the whole day. for work. im rly shy to post some stuff about me (bcs i havent done it before fr insert the tom hanks dialogue from joe vs the volcano abt doing some soul searching and coming to the conclusion that hes just boring so he stops doing it) so if u see me doing it as an attempt to fix the personal pages on my blog, im sorry! AAAND as for the gifs thing, im thinking of changing my film diary tag, one thing i really enjoy is taking note of dialogues i love from a movie so i might just do screenshots. i really miss making gifs even though most of the gifs i end up with are LQ , but it just really isnt feasible now . (also some movies are just so tempting to gif LIKEEE valley girl and everytime we say goodbye 😭😭 it physically hurts me that i cant gif josh whitehouse and tom hanks in those movies....)

ALSO im really very very happy that ive gained new followers recently. i enjoy chatting with you guys and get so happy whenever i get the notif that someone sent me an ask/message!! ive been idle on stan twt/fandoms in general so its been a really long time since ive actually... talked to people... it makes me really happy talking to u and im sorry if my happiness doesnt show in my replies/posts. as i said, its been a while since ive done this and i usually go on here as soon as im off work (when my brain is semi-fried and the words are not wording anymore) . i hope i dont come across as bored/uninterested :(

and it isnt just about fandoms too, im genuinely insterested what u guys are up to lately and all... (in a non stalker way). it just feels nice to have friends in general ^__^

SO YEA, i think thats about it :) if u've read this all until here ilysm! thanks for ur interest and lmk how ur day was! or just send me something u want to talk about !

have a nice day :)

#maybe i should start a formal tag for posts like this too heheh #*

[yuukei-yikes]

kind of a specific random question but do you think theres a possibility that shintaros the first one to try and stop being so attached to takane. like one day takane is all haha hey do you need me for anything then shin goes well uhhh- actually no its okay. takane goes what no you arent let me help you with something COME ON

ive drawn this before. so yes i do (from here)

YA i totally think it's like this AT FIRST. takane is totally shamelessly clinging to shintaro and shintaro's like GET. OFF. MEEEE!!!!! and takane's in his room like carpet she's a fucking parasite roach infestation of 1.

like immediate post str i picture this bitch just sleeping over every single day stealing all his clothes and shintaro's like COME ON. i love how in the novels shintaro dresses in front of ene and no one gives a shit in fact ene is like YOU LOOK SO HANDSOME UR SUCH A MAN'S MAN like. when takane has her body back shintaro's like at least get out WHILE I GET DRESSED!! and takane's totally unbothered like whaaaa im not even looking and u never seemed to care to dress in front of me as ene whatever dude. shintaro seething. he's like this sucks she's right ive been getting dressed in front of her the whole time. also takane changes his nasty bed sheets bc she also sleeps in his bed. literally existing symbiotically. srry they're so close and have no privacy i need u to understand.

shintaro acts incredibly grumpy about it and is actively kicking her out daily but takane never seems to get mad at all and if anything she's just pathetically begging him to stayyyy pleaseeeeee u must need me for SOMETHINGGGGGG and shintaro. while yes he is like NO GET OUT also come on. he's so weak if someone especially someone girl coded flutters their eyelashes at him he immediately just goes YEAH ALRIGHT...haruka ayano or takane can all just flutter their eyelashes and shintaro will do anything they say its hilarious.

we've seen ene do this and while shintaro manages to stay strong i think post str he's very weak to takane because he's so guilty over route xxx so sometimes he just gives her whatever she wants out of guilt. like retaining is shintaro's big demise if it wasn't for it maybe he would've been able to just set his foot down and force takane to grow out of her unhealthy attachment.

but noooo... he starts enabling/reciprocating her behavior LOL!!!! like it's indeed takane the one to start the dynamic. she's always been the most attached of the 2. but shintaro is so guilty over the bad route and realises she's always been here even in all other routes. by just saying ugh yes whatever at everything she says he is accidentally becoming part of the unhealthy attachment. i think at first while he WAS attached it wasn't to the point takane drives it. and since she was shameless and pathetic abt it like not hiding it at all that's why he's unconscious it goes both ways bc he's like well ive been acting all grumpy abt it obviously its not me its her!!! but he doesn't realise that as time went on he started liking the dynamic bc its comfy LOL and takane is good company and they love each other ok. hold me im gonna pass out.

this is so early on post str. while takane still struggles with stopping resorting to opening eyes whenever anything gets uncomfortable and while shintaro is still sort of processing all timelines and how he feels about them and stuff. u know me i love flipping dynamics thats why eventually its shintaro following takane while she's like ermmm erm ermmm bc she's been healing while shintaro's been going downhill.

ALSO i think shintaro's mom "knew" of ene. like SHE DOESNT but shintaro was constantly talking to himself in his room so she asks if he's calling with anyone?? shintaro's like ERM...ERMM... YEAH... ITS AN ONLINE FRIEND.... so shintaro's mom is like omg this is THAT friend who was with him while he was all depressed in his room!!! so ratio + shintaro's mom loves takane and since she's always staying over keeps asking if they're dating and is very confused that they say no and neither is EVER flustered they're just like no we aren't 😐 also if shinaya are dating and kisaragi mom knows she probably talks to shintaro like Hey isnt this weird u have a gf and u seem to spend most of ur time with someone else. and shintaro's like UGHHHHH STOPPP ANNOYING MEEE!!! and like momo, kisaragi mom is also sorta scared of approaching shintaro in fear of scaring him away now that he's out and about. so she's like erm okay (still watches from afar)

sorry for going crazy abt shintaro & takane again. they drive me so crazies. they love each other ur honor and its so fucked up

#ask tag #headcanons #takane enomoto #shintaro kisaragi

[okkottsus]

Heyo, it is I!!! You're the only one ik who's both active on Tumblr n obsessed w those two idiots (affectionate) so I hope I'm not intruding ;;

So so so!! What's your opinion on reonagi breaking up again in the near future? Personally I was all for it bc them staying together has been tragically shown to stall both of their growths but ONLY if it's reo who recognizes that n acts accordingly + doesn't completely sever their relationship like it did before bc they're so happy now ;;;; smth like "it's still fun w you but now I can see we do better training apart so instead of a treasure (a priceless object I found, an idolization that made me feel worthless) could you be my friend? (my partner, my equal)"

(can you tell I've been *clenching fist* at all the bachisagi enjoyers getting their cute heartwarming healthyass relationship built up and continuously improved on both relationship-wise and as individuals who inspire each other while we got 100k words of misunderstandings angst hurt no comfort slowburn friends to strangers to best friends)

AAAAAA I TOTALLY GET U ABT THE COMPARISON TO BACHISAGI AKSKD i love them sm too, but my brain saw the angst and said u're gonna obsess over the idiots who cant communicate instead....and ofc u're not intruding, i love screaming abt them any chance i get so thank u for giving me one 😭 

personally i dont have a strong preference, meaning i wouldnt mind either way; them being on the same team or on different ones. i believe their separation was extremely needed and that they gained a lot from it, so as long as they dont fall back into old habbits and stop themselves from evolving, i think they could take what they learnt while apart and implement it while on the same team too!!

reo thought to himself that he wants to be nagi’s equal and to nagi, it has always been certain that they would be the best together at the end of the line, no matter the detours. Thats why it should be ok now, as long as they dont lose sight of the goal (no pun intended ajsjk). Not to mention its blue lock we are talking abt, things probs will change again sooner or later, so i need them both to be able to play at their best even when they arent working together (esp since they are aiming to be professionals?? like u cant expect to be able to play at peak condition only when u’re teammates with ur bae ajskjd)

but yeah for sure, i dont want the progress that has been made thru all this heartache to be in vain, i want them to inspire and support each other as equals as u said!! and the ideal would be if they got to talk abt their perspectives now with their newfound confidence and without tension getting in the way. but idk, maybe thats asking too much of them, they have a long way to go in order to catch up to bachisagi in the talking abt feelings department 💀

#blue lock #blue lock spoilers #reonagi #nagireo #AHHH I LOVE THEM their relationship is so layered i could see this going to so many directions #but im not dead set on one specifically #as long as their characters dont regress

[kurjakani]

Alright quick question..we have similar taste in fictional men and I’ve never watched Bleach before should I start it so I can obsess over Mayuri as well?

HMMMMMMMAH rly hard to tell. Ok sorry bleach fans i love u but im gonna shit talk this show a bit. Pls dont read if u cant handle me rambling abt my personal experience w a show meant for 15 year old boys. I actually love it deeply !!!!!!! I enjoy ir a lot!!!!! However. I really struggle w watching the show sometimes. Its over 300 eps + the movies which i havent even gotten started with. It's difficult bc theres a lot of cool moments too but good lird esp at tge start the fights consist of characters deciding that they have more soul power bc of some memory they had and beatinh eachother. Everyone is confident there is character variety but everyone is like supposed 2 be a huge badass and idk thats just not my type of media (which is why orihime is actually one of my favourite characters bc she stands in such contrast w her confidence issues and damseliness. Also Ishida i love Ishida i love his arc in the umm when they had the bounts and his self reflection about his inabilitu to help the others + hes always rly analytical in fights. Mayuri too bcs all of his power comes from thinking & experimenrting & PREPARADNESS. I dont remember him ever mentioning soul power bc hes like only talking about technique. Zaraki is also incrhesting bc he is overpowered, but to a point of ridiculousness and where he has an one punch man styled conflict w being unable 2 find someone he has fun fightinh w) i like casts full of losers and freaks. Talking of freaks Tite Kubo is one and will NOT stop making fucked up jokes, esp about girls. His humour is shit theres been like. One scene where i laughed out loud and it was bc ichigos dad pelted him w no mercy bc hes used 2 him being able to fight but ichigo was just tired and he flew thru the room thats fr the only time ive laughed. Theres a lot of rly dark topics also treated very lightly, including when it comes to Mayuri??? Esp his treatment of Nemu. As far as ive seen!!! The storyline has an interesting end in the manga tho and like it seems more thoughtful but ive yet to see that. But the treatment of Nemu as a prop to show how awful Mayuri is and to also be fanservice rly. It frusturates me. Theres so much like, interesting stuff you could do w her character. Again tho im at ep like 180 so maybe there will be!!!! For the good tho Tite Kubo has just. Theeee most incredible eye for character design in my eyes hes so fuckinh good its ridiculous. Even a lot of the side characters are mega memorable and its no wonder a lot of thr characters are absolutely iconic. Also the show definetly gets better the beginninh is just so. Slow. As u can prolly pick up from my earlier notes there are a couple characters that i fuxking loooove aside from Mayuri. As for mayuri he is fuckinh viile and they make some gross jokes abt him too but he is so. Ill b real hes just sexy and also transformation coded so. Literally childhood fave chinhands emoji idc. There also are some great interactions between characters!!! Thr main characters rly care abt eachothef and are so devoted 2 taking care of eachother and i think thats lovely. They can be cranky and mean but theyre always worried for eachother and rwady to help and i think thats just so sweet i like that dynamic. Sorry i di have more to say abt the show as u can see i have some big big emotions abt it and i care abt iy sm but it also often frusturates me deeply a lot of tje time. Its a show you endure. Thank god it jas a dub bc i am watcjing it while knitting / drawing etc.

#Ask #Anon #Im sorry this is so mean but i do genuinely love this show and thats why its fallpits rly suck extra much #If i didnt like it. Well id still wagch it for mayuri but yk. Id be way quieter about it. #And just say it sucks dont watch it #But i fucking love it its a strained love tho esp bc of the constant fucking freak ass jokes sTOP

[coyotevallie]

can we get a jeddiecore song list

YOU DONT KNOW WHAT YOUVE AWAKENED I LITERALLY AM CONSTANTLY WAITING FOR THE OPPORTUNITY TO TALK ABT RHE SONGS I ASSOCIATE W JEDIDIAH . anyways im gonna do songs that like .... Lyrically match but also try to align them with vibes . so even if some jhariah songs fit im not putting that on its not the right energy . yk . sorry u probably just wanted like a List but im abnormal about music i associate w jedidiah so ur getting a whole infodump hence why this took like a whole day to write </3

uhhhh starting off again . obviously love love love by the mountain goats the whole examination of the things ull do for love and examining whether thats romantic or somewhat horrifying????? SO fucking him . also the vibes just match perfectly the like sad soft voice and the whole quiet ambience .... literally how id embody him in a song . also lyrics like:

this abt the ritual with love leading you into a "white and soundless place" (often how death is described) before "seeing each other face to face" (back to life and with him again) and:

this abt his guilt afterwards??? the way that jedidiah killing and reviving sydney for love haunts him every day?????? goes fucking crazy . it fits so well to me its the jeddie song of ever

another tmg song hes just tmg coded BUT cry for judas is extremely him to me .... the themes of guilt overlayed w religion especially using judas as a comparison w sydney as a christ figure ... goes crazy . particularly

this part at the beginning . it reminds me a lot of jedidiah avoiding sydney and hurting him and pushing away due to his own guilt as well as his self punishing behaviors plus obviously the themes of controlling time fit lol . i could overinterpret some other sections but i dont want to make this too rambling... but mainly this part makes me think of him and also lines like "sad and angry cant learn how to behave/still wont know how in the darkness of the grave" remind me of his weird lens of viewing sydney + the death themes that obviously call sydney to mind ...... also "some people crash two or three times and then learn from their mistakes/but we are the ones who dont slow down at all" reminds me of jedidiah projecting onto juniper and rowan who work out their issues easily and jedidiah who cant . i ramble

next up uhhhhh self esteem by ajj is basic sadboy music but yknow what . he would listen to basic sadboy music and i have intense lyrical analyses so if you call me on that then i will riot in the streets . anyway so the entire song is about like ..... avoiding other people out of guilt and shame and thats just him!!!! thats him baby . the repetition of this place has taken all my self esteem reminds me of his avoidance of sydney and the camp out of it reminding him of his guilt and shame but some more specific lyrics that remind me of him are

reminds me of his refusal to leave his office because leaving means he'll see sydney and seeing sydney reminds him of his guilt . especially when paired w sydneys fear

this part in PARTICULAR is extremely jeddiecoded!!!! to extremes!!!!!! reminds me of the contrast between college jeddie being scared of yvonne compared with jeddie not being able to handle talking to juniper bc he cant stop projecting his own guilt onto him . hes cray cray that way

a: hes a pathetic little man <3 as well as reflecting his self hatred but let me be funny, b: the phrase "pathetic little dream" reminds me of lucille referring to sydney as his pet project in things like the patreon script preview of s2, and c: jedidiah simultaneously hates and longs for the concept of forgiveness so a song ending on that very note is insane to me

im not gonna include a proper analysis of trees and flowers by strawberry switchblade bc its REALLY more of a sydney song and putting it on a jeddiecore songlist would be evil bc of this but it fits a lil bit in my brain . the whole avoidance of the outside world and avoiding things you cant control like the trees and the buildings

an ode to a bunny i killed near the a19!!!! so jedidiahcore that its insane!!!!!! like it works so well for him that it has Double Meanings with both him having to tear apart the bunny and with him having to kill sydney cmon . its insanely jeddiecore . its hard to analyze this one lyric by lyric because its more of the Overall Feeling of it but the whole thing about agonizing over killing something and not being able to move on and all that nonsense . also the repetitive lines about not being able to do it and not being able to go through with it with the inevitible fact that theyll have to and they did is fucking insane for him because all of his like proper Murders are both like .... described very clinically without a lot of emotion but seem to have left a HUGE emotional impact on him that implies that at least internally there was a lot of emotions bound up in it even if its not necessarily visible. sydneys death is described incredibly clinically but clearly fucking wrecked him to go through with it, killing the bunny is described very matter of factly but he apparently hates doing that kind of thing, the pigs ritual is described very matter of factly but apparently horrified him so much that he cant eat pork anymore, etc etc

heart for brains by roar is more of a sydidiah song (heart-for-brains being sydney) but ill focus on the part that reminds me of jedidiah bc these arent SEDDIEcore songs theyre JEDDIEcore songs

this part always reminds me of like . a VERY harsh awakening on jedidiahs part of how hes acting . very "i miss you im such a fucking idiot"core lol . because jedidiah Is incredibly cold and avoidant to sydney and it Has paid him well, but also hiding all his secrets and avoiding ever confiding in anyone hurts him just as much and doesnt make anything better or easier for himself like he thinks it does

who could win a rabbit by animal collective is a hard song to analyze lyrically lol its a lot of rambling . but it always reminds me of how others view jedidiah because of this whole idea of CONSTANTLY working and constantly being busy and never taking time to relax and enjoy things as well as the repetitive rabbit motifs reminding me of the whole rabbit scene . also iv generally thougth that jedidiah doesnt properly eat well or drink much during that time bc obvoiusly hes not spending time doing that so "eat it like its gonna get away/your coffee sure is getting colder" with leaving drinks untouched and eating food quickly to get back to work always reminds me of him

poor grammar also by roar is more how sydney Feels about jedidiah as opposed to like how jedidiah feels but im including it bc it fits .... SO insanely well that i can talk about it for ages

theres this sense with how sydney percieves the way that their relationship grew and transitioned from being teens to being adults that jedidiah didnt mature and commit to the relationshipt he way that an adult would be expected to and that made sydney grow more ad more dissatisfied and thats what this line reminds me of

this feels like . the EPITOME of pre-sydney running away seddie to me . like absolutely 100% to a t it feels like how jedidiah attempts to interact with sydney . he cant say anything outright he cant Tell sydney anything he cant outright say that he has to avoid sydney but cant handle it . he cant handle properly comforting sydney . so he just shakes and stammers and mumbles his way through a "comforting scene"

and again this is just a lot more of like . id have to do a lot more sydney analysis here and again this is like a jedidiah song list so thats not erally the point lol ..... but the whole "how am i supposed to get through" having ad ouble meaning of "how can i get through to you when youll never talk to me" and "how can i get through this without you" and the "try repeating once again this time with feeling" wanting jedidiah to express proper emotion and love to him again and "premeditated like some sick joke waited all night for you" reminding me of things like the tower building competition .... yk how it is

and obviously never love an anchor is the jedidiah song of ever but like you could watch the animatic to understand that . no explanation i could give would do better than just watching tha damn animatic

i could probably come up with more but oh my god ive gone on too long </3 but yes those are my fav jeddiecore songs

#jedidiah martin #camp here and there #chnt spoilers #putting htis in the tag bc i spend embarrassingly long on this .

[cicadangel]

erm.! diary 12/4

hi i havent been online in a bit or written any diary entries recently bc well i was really depressed and then i just like forgot or whatever. but uhmmm life updates sorta/just how im doing right now.

i will start with the good news :-) i am not depressed! ive been feeling good pretty consistently for the past 2 weeks i think? ive been happy enough to be able to function normally and do all the stuff i need to do. also school swim started so i got to see my crush (the one i talked abt a bunch last year) and i actually need him so bad he's so fine i need him. not much has happened w him (in terms of moments or whatever) but it will soon trust!!!!!! also ive been feeling a bit more confident lately in terms of how i think guys percieve me so i hope maybe that will inspire me to make a move but probably not. oh well.

as for everything else. well. i have been having issues with that one bitch "friend" ofc hoping to hit her with a car sometime soon. but thats not rly new ig. i am kind of having issues too tho with one of my other friends bc he's being weird and annoying. recently hes been extremely sensitive abt just everything which is whatever except he won't tell me, he'll just get upset and try to get me to ask him if he's upset except i won't play that game ugghhhhh if u have a problem with me tell me bc i wont understand otherwise!!! i cannot possibly fathom what he's got wrong with him about me so im not even gonna try. if he wants to fix it he can use his words otherwise no bueno it is not happening!!!!

he's also been like. weird to me recently. we're in psychology class together and we're gonna be at the "abnormal behavior" unit soon (which is mental illnesses) and he keeps saying ohhhh we're almost at your unit we're almost there when it's like stop thats actually so annoying. i am abnormal and crazy but that's not ur place to say? i dont talk to my friends abt my mental illness struggles but i guess it is obvious there's smth wrong with me or whatever but it's just annoying. i will talk abt how im against involuntary commitment to psych wards and how sooooo many therapists only end up doing more harm than good and my problems with the whole mental health industry and the modern understanding of it bc it's smth im rly passionate abt, but he just brushes me off as if i dont have first hand experience with all of the terrible ways psychiatry and the mental health industry can fuck people up???? i also feel weird talking to him in general sometimes bc i know he'll bring me up to his therapist (because he constantly mentions it) and i feel like i cant talk to him bc he's gonna tell her and that just puts a weird strain on the relationship. like his therapist knows me, but just from his pov and that kinda weirds me out im ngl.

oh i also got in a fight w my mom today. actually we're still fighting. it was over something soooo insignificant but i got so overly angry like i always do and now im going to make it ruin the rest of my day because i am insufferable. she's just been really angering me lately also ive been feeling destructive which is complicated. i dont rly like the term "splitting" but it's def what ive been doing a lot lately. ugh. also i like dont know what to do with my bpd "diagnosis" it makes me angry and like i just have so many problems with it in so many ways REGARDLESS if i actually have it or whatever which i could talk abt for hours. in some ways it's nice to have a label for what ive been going through my whole life but in most ways i am like not too happy with the fact that ive been handed a disqualification from ever being upset again. if i am, it'll just be because im a crazy borderline! ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! anyway. more on that whole mess later sorry

#diary

[poems-of-a-lover]

I NEED PETER AND HARRY TO KISS!!!!!! NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<3

THANK U THANK U YESLKJAGHLKSJDHGKJSHGKJSLDG THEYRE SOOOOOOO

okay. my peterharry rant for anyone interested. sorry to this poor anon but im gonna use this as an excuse to talk abt them.

peter and harry grew up together up until peter was 10 and harry was 11 ish. they were so close. when richard and mary passed, harry was right there to help peter figure it out bc peter was only, what, 8 years old? these children had to deal with such an incredible loss at such a young age. now in the tasm timeline they never say explicitly what happened to harrys mother, but in other canon she got sick and passed when harry was really young, so thats my canon. i think that mrs osborn was an incredible mother for harry, but it wasnt enough. and then she got sick and distant, and she passed, and harry pretended not to care. it was easier for him that way. then harry was sent away to boarding school when he was 11, and then he bounced around from country to country until he was 20. the only reason he came back to new york was because mr osborn was dying of retroviral hyperplasia, "the osborn curse", which harry has started to show symptoms of. also norman didnt tell harry this was genetic until he was already showing signs of having it, just gonna throw that out there. so harry comes back, his dads dead, he takes over this incredibly expensive company all on his own, and then in walks his childhood best friend that he hasnt seen in nearly ten years. and harrys scared at first, he doesnt know how to respond. peter comes and apologizes about harrys father, says he understands what its like and hes always gonna be there for whatever harry needs. he goes to leave, but harry stops him with a joke. harry jokes first, and the ice breaks. theyre right back to where they were years ago, like nothing changed. they spend the day walking around town, joking and catching up and just being together for the first time in years. then the next day, harry finally tells peter he's sick over the phone. peter goes to oscorp to check in on him, and this is when harry says that he thinks spidermans blood will cure him, bc of the self heal aspect of it. of course, peters incredibly wary, and he says that he'll try to get ahold of spiderman to help him. harry basically made him promise, because he doesnt want to end up sick and alone and dying. like his father. harrys continuously getting worse and worse but peter has other things going on, with electro out and trying to figure things out with gwen. harrys discovering secrets about oscorp but they dont like that, so hes fired. now, harry goes to team up to electro, and he basically considers peter an enemy at this point, because in his eyes peter turned him down and refused to save his life when all he had to do was get spiderman. so harry and electro team up now, so harry can get spidermans blood, then electro can do what he wants with him afterward. harry eventually figures out that they kept the venom of the spiders that turned peter into spiderman, so he has one of the staff bring him down there and inject him with it. thats whats starts the green goblin transition. theres a split second after the injection where harrys shaking stops. the pain is gone. his head is quiet. hes finally healthy. but somethings wrong. his body starts to change, he's dying at an incredibly faster pace now. his last hope is to desperately crawl to one of the suits in the room, which enables bodily regulation so hes able to function and be stable. peter finishes off his boss battle with electro while this is happening, he kills him, and hes talking to gwen about going to leave before he hears laughter and the glider engines circling above him. harry finally reveals himself, and he looks sickly. he looks incredibly ill and frail, but hes grinning wildly. peter asks him "harry...what did you do?" and harry just grins wider and replies "what you made me do. you were my friend and you betrayed me." peter claims that he was just trying to help and be the good guy, but harrys not buying it. harry says that peter pretends to give people hope, but he just takes it away, so now hes gonna take away peters. before peter can respond, harry has gwen and hes in the air, hovering for a bit before dropping into the clocktower.

peter goes after them and tries to catch her but has no luck, just hanging her with a web for now while he fights with harry. they fight before harrys knocked unconscious, and all of the cogs and dials of the clocktower fall apart. gwen falls, and peter immediately goes after her but shes too late. gwen hits the ground before peter can get to her, and she dies. now we dont see harry again until after her funeral, but hes been detained in ravencroft. he talks about building a team, which is alluded to be the sinister six team that wouldve been in the third movie if it hadnt been canceled. and im so mad that i was canceled.

#OKAY JESUS CHRIST IM SO SORRY FOR RANTING I HAVE ISSUES ABT THEM #i could go so much more in depth abt their characterization and emotions rather than the plot if u guys want but this is just the basics #anyway! spiderman!

[hyunverse]

oooo that sounds fun!! what’d you make ?? :)) idk how you manage to live w 7 ppl i’d lose my mind lollll

ME TOO !!! he’s everywhere 😭. ik what’s up w hyunjins pcs always being pricey, it’s so annoying. YES I WAS SHOCKED AT FIRST literally squealing and then i was like nearly crying. bc he has dark blue hair and is doing his little peace sign w his little pout :((((( how could you not :((((

THE BACK DIMPLESSS YESSSS, so sexy. jeongins hands ,,,, sigh. so long and slender and pretty i just 💔. i think i hear the word hands and just instantly become delusional, it’s like i’m in a trance 🤭. AND HANS WAIST GAHHHHH i want to grab it. he has such a cute belly button too 😭 oddly specific but it is true. they all have cute ones from what we’ve seen tbh

ohhh yes i get that, that’s rly awesome you study it tho !! it’s fun to learn new languages even when it’s challenging and then it’s rly rewarding when you can have convos w ppl based on their language. i love interactions like that they make me happy

ITS GOING SO GOOD, thank you for asking love <33 i’m gonna post it tmrw night and i’m rly exciteddddd. i was telling kana how i’m excited to be able to send you guys pics now too, i want to show off my cats hehe. OOOO OT8 HCSSS THATS SO EXCITINGGGGG. i cant wait to read them 😋. u better be sleeping rn 😠😠😠😠 as much as u can bc u have no classes 😠😠😠 (this is my new fave emoji bc it looks like leebit hehe)

- 🐈‍⬛ cuddles much needed today thank u bae🫂🫂🫂 ily kisses 4 u

made ramen with poached eggs!! my comfort food forever. aaa yeah at first it sounds hectic, i mean eight girls living in a house together feels so chaotic right 😭 but it turned out to be nice!! we have four rooms, so each room consists of two people!! i got lucky with considerate and responsible housemates, tbh. they know when they can be loud, and when they need to be quiet. it feels like i have seven sisters lol. tbh if they weren’t considerate, i think i’d lose my mind too </3

dark blue minho <333 i also love purple minho. i love all of minho tbh live laugh love minho case 145 i love minho!!!

CUTE BELLY BUTTON LMAO IM SO?5?5?5 GASPIGN FOT AIR I CANT RBSHAJS thats so random and i love it 🤝 giving me hyunjin belly button piercing in play with fire IT GOT ME ILL!!! ILL, I TELL YOU!!

i do like learning languages, i just get bored halfway </3 like i’ll want to learn another language instead </3 it’s absolutely horrid, i fr need to stop and focus on one. i literally gave up on spanish after a month LOL. i know a little sign language though!! and to read and write in arabic.

AS I AM REPLYING TO THIS, I SEE UVE MADE A REVEAL HEHRHEHFHS gonna check out the work rn!!!! im so excited!!

stop it does look like a leebit T_T that’s so cute ‘m gonna start abusing that emoji now 😠😠😠 talking abt skzoo im gonna buy jiniret and puppy.m soon ^__^ gonna sew them clothes, i am beyond excited zzz

more kisses and cuddles for u!!! mwa!!

#rin’s lovemail! #🐈‍⬛ anon 💌

[theloveinc]

this is v v random and you dont have to answer if you dont want to bc it IS personal, but i wanted to ask abt ur experience on wellbutrin? in terms of like, getting energy or feeling tired, sleepy? im worried about it making me sleepy/tired/brain fog (im 26 n BUSY as heck) again, dont have to answer at all, just asking bc i know youre quite open n honest on stuff so i thought id give it a shot and ask about your experience n like. ur pros & cons if thats okay. anyways thank u lub u legend bye <3

🥺Legend, of course u can ask!! I'm probably not the best choice, given I've only been on it since early June (and some people, much longer)... but honestly, in terms of brain fog and sleep... I have had almost literally NO issues and am all positive reviews here (...kinda).

One of the reasons I was prescribed it actually was for excessive sleepiness and brain fog (I get horrible, horrible brain fog normally and I have for years.)... and even though the results have been somewhat inconsistent since I've switched dosages like three times (and was off for a bit), literally it's helped SOOOOO much.

Obviously, people's reactions are going to be different, a moot (who I can tag but don't want to like... expose)(edit: @ace-of-books in the replies of this post!!!) on here told me Wellbutrin actually keeps her awake to the point where she needs mild sedatives to sleep... but I've honestly found I have no trouble actually going to sleep once I actually decide to (I like to use my phone in bed so I partially blame some sleep issues on that, but... you know) and waking up has gotten way, WAY easier.

(Also, with my new dosage, I take it twice a day and it's the NON-time release pills, and I've noticed that actually I haven't been as tired getting into bed usually... but someone told me this would go away once I fully adjusted AND I didn't have that problem on the time released capsules I took initially. Also it could just be that I've been taking a lot of naps at 8pm LMAOOO AND it doesn't actually bother me since the brain fog has been very reduced! *skips and jumps and claps feet together like a little leprechaun*🤩🤩🤩)

So yeah. More issues with... not being able to sleep than with being sleepy in the daytime. Thought when I was taking my more concentrated dose, if I had caffeine with it, things would get a little WoOoOooooOOOOooo funny🤡!!! at first.

As for cons... it's so funny because when I switched dosages the first time, I was like "omg these pills suck they stopped working after like, a month..." THAT WAS NOT TRUE LMAOOO. I HAD JUST GOTTEN USED TO THEM, and when I moved on to a higher dosage (150mg once a day to 150 TWICE a day🥶😨😱), I literally went insane (crying over mild inconveniences IN PUBLIC. I could think too hard and I would cry. Keep me awake over anxiety literally non-stop type insane).

And then, when I subsequently stopped taking them and it faded(?) from my system, it became very clear I actually was... worse off without them and I was extremely happy to go back on

I could always get used to it again, but right now I feel GREAT and literally kind of spring out of bed when I need to be up. No more lazing about waiting for my mind to work, it just does for the most part.

(Though I do get tired in the day because my schedule is awful, and also still crave sleeping a lot when I am in bed, it's just when I do wake + get up the adjustment period from sleepy time to being awake is almost... instant. So that, I would say, is fantastic).

ANYWHOOOO, this is kind of a long-winded answer that I answered sort of... backwards (talking about lack of sleep vs. excessive sleep), but... my experience has been so positive, even despite the dosage changes and the fact that it obviously hasn't cured my depression entirely. I just haven't had any issues with it making me tired at all, and it's FIXED my brainfog, which I guess is the answer to your question!

BUT, and I'm just gonna say this for legal reasons cuz I'm sure you already know, talk to your doctor/a medical professional first before making any decisions! Don't base taking it entirely off of ME because I also know people who experienced nothing positive on Wellbutrin at all. Not me, tho. But that can be common.

Thanks for reading this all (and being sooo sweet I lub you too + am kissing you), if you did! And no worries if you didn't, but good luck with whatever ends up happening!💕💕💕

#me and wellbutrin are besties #except if theres too much of her... #(i had a very public breakdown) #then i need a break. but me and small doses?? THAT'S MY HOMEGIRL #would literally make out with my pills if i could (thats gross sorry) #and ig some other things to consider: #i really experience nothing negative from birth control pills either so... idk if that changes anything #but it could be i'm just okay with medicine #and also i tried uhhh prozac and even tho nothing bad happened really... actually my grades tanked BUT... #it really just didnt work #so those are my other experiences with medication and idk if add or take away from this #but yeah!! i'd really recommend it for issues like preexisting brainfog and tiredness #not sure if it will ... make things revert for you #but yeah! #i'm super super busy too and it really didn't affect me much except positively #like when i started taking it i was on a break.. BUT when i started it a second time ... i had no problems adjusting with my schedule #which was nice #anyway i'll go now and im hoping this is helpful!!! #and not confusing #BYE. #<3333 #caitie answers #anon

[icharchivist]

surprisingly i come to your askbox bearing a3-related thoughts instead of gbf. crazy i know. anyways i finished going thru conquering misoshiosa island!! my thoughts abt it are quite scattershot but i had a lot of fun. as i mentioned previously i almost went thru this event before starting autumn loll. was fun going thru the first bit again with autumn knowledge in my pocket now. the more i hear muku talk the more i want to sit and discuss manga recs with him. like in my heart i just KNOW he read basara. i've read a pretty large amount of shoujo so i think we'd get along.

it was pretty obvious muku and omi were gonna be the pair for this cg and like. i'm pleased about it. they're just such a good pair conceptually when u consider, like, definitions of masculinity and how it might apply to both of them.

azami regarding kazunaris flyers: damn. this is, like, needlessly impressive. what’s that quote about middle schoolers having the most accurate insults. this wasn’t really an insult but it really. Strikes Deep in a way only a middle schooler is capable of.

in any other situation i would gently tell muku that he doesn't need to panic about every eventuality BUT in this case i knew sakyo was planning on leaving them to fend for themselves so i was very glad for muku and omi's preparation. i think its really fun they watched that movie together.

kazu making an itinerary for literally just the trip to the island is sooo funny to me. like he must've known something was a little messed up. do u think sakyo gave him the info and kazunari looked at it, a little miffed that izumi's first instablam post was about spring and winter having a great time without them (and masumi liked the post first) and went. eh. sakyo can have his chaos.

juza bringing chocolate is very juza but him calling the chocolate "rations" is how u know muku and juza are related. love natsugumi teasing tenma abt being sleepless for this trip but like genuinely. its nice that he gets to like. Go On Trips now. like thats a thing he and misumi can do and its not rly something they got to do when they were younger!

i'm going to gloss over the bit with the monkeys where misumi can talk to them bc. i really.... they even acted to the guests in part 11 i do not think this had to happen. normally im all for a3 magic shenanigans so i dont know why this one didnt gel for me lol. anyways PSA wild monkeys can fuck u up so do be careful. don't get aggressive with them. i'm not an expert or anything tho.

the fact that running on the beach is part of their training makes me think sakyo has read knb. doesnt muku give sakyo manga recs? was that not a thing? anyways i think sakyo would read knb. he seems like the type of person to read it and be like. i dont think real high schoolers can go invisible or shoot sparks out of their eyes when they're focused. but i hope he enjoyed it. speaking og knb and a3 a hurrah for team friendship. i saw ur post abt it and like. i want a sticker thats like. I Survived That One Poll Where People Were Really Mean To Muku And Yuki For No Reason. muku and momoi was such a wonderful win to see with the art and propaganda and everything. and i was really rooting for momoi since her name literally comes from momoiro. i didnt actually know there was a knb a3 alliance until this poll but im very glad for its existence bc i love both things very much and theyre both very very dear to me.

was never worried for muku and izumi in the cave bc i Knew muku was doing a hansel & gretel with the way he was acting and i was glad to see it was buttons and not food so omi found them. i think its really cute that not only did omi rush off while people tried to stop him, a bunch of other people were ALSO trying to rush off and were probably stopped. makes sense it was omi who was able to actually do it tho. hes omi after all. look at how he handled banri and juza from day one. him showing muku the flower was so nice and the cg was SO CUTE like. look at those sparkling eyes!!! i also love queen of the night flowers... and im glad they got to go to a resort on the last day.

now some misc notes:

theres this part where taichi lies down in the sand and kumons like oh thats so nice! and lies down with him and i winced so hard like noooo dont u know... sand is just like glitter (Gets Everywhere)

i also just really like that muku is. for all that he berates himself for being weak and he wants to get like more stronger and prince-like and heroic etc. he very much doesn’t seem to correlate that with how he Looks Physically? (see: how he treats yuki) and like. that means so much to me.

finally i saw tenma being annoyed on the ship and island and stuff and. i just Know he complained during the trip and also to everyone when they got back but a year later he'll do an interview for some character that's very woodsy or like he acts as a castaway or something. and i just know he'll talk about how he was able to play the character well due to his own experience of staying on a deserted island… he'll say something abt how it was enriching and taught him a lot about coexisting with nature and some bs like that etc. and after watching that interview everyone in a3 will lovingly make fun of him for it.

YOO HEY THERE! always a pleasure, always no worries <333 a touch of cutesy a3 in the curse that is my inbox.

True i remember you almost read this one by accident ahah, at least now it's all in order again. You're SO right about Muku, he'd be a delightful conversation partner about manga and especially about shoujo. I'm sure you too would get along.

Also very good point for the CG yeah, they're conceptually a very good duo on that regard, they had such a sweet dynamic this whole time, and it's soft to see them with especially just this soft over a flower.

AKJDFMLDKMFLFD Azami and Yuki fit that description so well and now there's two of them. rip Kazunari.

Ah yeah, Paranoia is Paranoia until the day you're actually right. That's Muku right here. And honestly at this point, is it overthinking or is it a correct assessment of the type of person Sakyo is. Food for thoughts. But yess it's so nice they spent some time together to prepare it all.

FOR KAZU IT'S SO FUNNY. i have to believe that, yes, indeed. Especially also with like, how close Kazunari and Azuma can be as the two travellers type, and he knows perfectly what Azuma pulled last training camp. I trust Kazunari in putting two and two together while preparing his traveler log. Like he must have known. I believe in him.

"juza bringing chocolate is very juza but him calling the chocolate "rations" is how u know muku and juza are related." that's such a cute way to put it. YEAH IT'S SO SWEET FROM NATSUGUMI. and yeah i'm also team "always crying when Tenma and Misumi do anything that qualifies as a normal experience" considering their specific bagage about how little they could experience of the world bc of their families.

That's a fair point for the monkeys. It was totally buckwild but yeah this might have been a little too much in term of suspension of disbelief. taking notes for how to behave with monkeys in real life, we never know.

Oh my god a3xknb alliance real and it was thanks to Sakyo all along. And yeah Muku does give Sakyo manga rec. Also Kumon is really big on sports manga and him and Muku talks about this common interest a lot, so if it's not Muku, it's Kumon's fault, but also, i want to say it's Muku because it goes with OUR alliance type. Sakyo would indulge because oh well!

And god right. Team friendship…. and right :sob: remember when people were so mean for no reason. for the sake of cartoon's dogs. :(. but the alliance this competition around was so wholesome. i'm glad you've learnt of the alliance thanks to it now! it's honestly such a sweet phenomena i love it so much. I'm so glad you like those two so much that it makes it more worthwhile <3

Muku is such a clever survivalist on that regard. and Omimi finding them was so nice. the fact so many people wanted to rush to them really is amazing. And agreed, the CG and them being able to rest up really made it worthwhile <3

wow speaking about sand like a true Anakin Skywalker type… gotta give it to him. But yeah Sand does get everywhere. also speaking of sands, remember in the beachside event where Muku and Juza have to talk out a misunderstanding on the beach a way back? Muku then mentions "next time we should bring Kumon on the beach with us". It made me so emotional that the Summer/Autumn training camp was on the beach like that because i was just thinking about how much Muku and Juza wanted to have Kumon with them there….

agreed on Muku. And he's so cool this way :( that's a reason i really love Muku a lot.

and i lOVE what you say about Tenma. He'd complain so much on the spot, but give it a bit and he'll brag about how cool of an experience it was (especially since he was with his buddies) and everyone at Mankai would tease him for it. It fits them so perfectly.

as always, thank you very much for sharing your thoughts on the event <3333 next is Guy's chapter!!! be hyped ;D

Take care and it's always a pleasure <333

#ichareply #aranarumei #ichafantalks a3 #long post for ts

[selznick]

idk fucking know.rant ig??? not big idk

but like i ibly rlly have 1 friend that im close to and thats ive opened up to about my austism and ocd like even a bit,,,,, and like my autism is fine or whatever and sure sometimes idk how to deal with people but its fine and we joke so its cool but my ocd is like,, a legit problem for me that I dont joke about but they will,,,, like sometimes i will casually mention it around them but they will joke abt it and like kool whatever,, ocd isnt happenong rn so idc ig

but like she was telling me how she went to a hincent van gogh exhibit abt his life and depression and how she cried at the 'ear'aser in the giftshop after, , and like its a hood point,,, people like to portray him cutting off his ear as like some cutesy joke or romantic gesrure and not like a seriours mental break down and self harm,,, which like cool she cares abt mental health and uknow the seriousness of it all

except when its roght in front of her??? like i messaged her when i wanted to pour boiling water on my foot to 'clean' it and half my brain was fully on board with it and the other half was like no that will make ot worse stop,,, so i messaged her as like idk a reaching out for some sort of help or distraction from my stupif fukcing brain,,, and she was just like,, no why would you do that? and was just argueing with me,, like thats not logical,,,, and I FUCKIING KNOW THAT WHY DO U THINK THERE ISNT BOILING WATER ON MY FOOT WHILE IM TEXTING U,,, and shes just like but why would u eevn think that,, like rememeber ur precious vincent van gogh and his fucking ear and my fuxking ocd,, and shes just like,, ohhh

and i talk to her when i was worried about getting sepsis from a small cut on my toe,, and shes just like no ur fine, uve not got sepsis obvi,, and like i brought it up again cuz its the only thing my brain would think of,, and she got annoyed that i kept bringing it up and now she fuxking jokes about me being obsessed with sepsis and that i just always think i have sepsis

like sorry my brain literally cant stop worrying abt this shit,, sorry i have phantom pains from my ocd that make me worry more and continue the fucking cycle

anyway today i was like ugh im gonna have a headache after yards,, could just feel one starting before it uknow,, and shes like just drink from the water fountain,, and i tell her i cant bcuz there was like a weird bottle on it and other debris around it and my ocd cant handle that,,, and she just tells me to drink from it and that its not an issue,, and when i was like ya no my ocd rmemeber she says shed drink some from it and then i could becuz were liek made from the same stuff so same body,,, and like how can i explain in a concise way that ya u can drink it fine but u r not me with stupid brain disease that doesnt care for logical conclusions and that no we dont have the same body were not even related and the fact i was vomiting for like an entire day not too long ago so my brain has been pretty weird abt it since,, and i cant so i instead say smth like,, no were not the same body and i was sick at christmas and i would still feel ill or throw up because my brain placebo would still fuck it up

she still pushes me to just drink from the fountain cuz its not a big issue but like to me it is,, another friend had a water bottle and offered me some amd that end the conversation so thank god they were there otherwise id have to argue my own thoughts to someone,,, do you srsly think i want my actions to b this illogical,, no i want to just live and be able to carry on without brain worms controlling what i can and cant do

but like its so frustrating to have to argue logic and reason with my own brain,, i dont want to have to have the same arguement with a friend that cant seem to understand how much it affects me because im not currently screaming crying and cutting my limbs off

and it sucks becuz shes like the only person i an talk to but she just doesnt understand and doesnt seem to care

my finger has a cut on it at the moment,, similar to my toe,, and its fucking with my brain,, only thing i can rlly think of,, but i cant talk to the one person i can talk to becuz its just an annoyance to her and i should just get iver it,,, not like i can feel other pain in parts of my body that my brain is relating to it and not like i had to convince myself that my gums were a normal colour (they were) and not blue black,,,, but i cant even just b like o ya my brain thinks im dying can u distracct me cuz shes just be weird about my mental health and bring it up later as a joke

but i dont rlly joke abt my ocd,, i make some nokes abt having it but not my actual symptoms and i feel weird eevn fully talking abt it in case someone find out, doesnt take it serious and doesn something on purpose to spite/upset me,, so for her to make jokes abt my symptoms without even showsing any sympathy while im going through them just fukcing sucks,,, and like ive not daid anything bcuz idk how to breatch that topic,,,,, ummm i think u dont care abt my mental health and it makes me not want to ever talk to u abt it but at the same time ur the only person i can talk to abt it and the jokes make me super uncomfy please inhenrently knpw what my brain needs thanks,, i just,, ik shell be like sorry im not good at reading ppl so i didnt realise cuz thats what she said abt the van gogh and me boiling water foot thing ,,,, like babes u know abt my asd and ocd and im currently telling u abt my distressing thoughts,,, thats not people skills im fucking telling u im going through it like RIGHT NOW and u just do not care

ok this rant was bigger than i thought,, oop

my arm aches now and i need to frind smth to ditract me from the urge to chop ny finger off 🙃🙃🙃

#long post #rant about my asd and ocd and my friend

[many-gay-magpies]

okay as much as i would Love to answer your whole post in detail and address the whole thing i can’t put a read more in my ask so i’m gonna limit it some 😭 would dms be more efficient? yes. am i writing this ask anyway? also yes.

and yeah i meant the Whole cb WHAT ARE THEY FEEDING THEM?? HOW LONG DID SUNGHOON HIT THE GYM FOR?? I DIDNT KNOW JAY’S VOICE COULD D O THE THINGS ITS DOING RN. NIKI IS OUT HERE LIVING HIS BEST ANGSTY TEEN LIFE.

“he’s selectively deaf” JDKSJDEB. no but fr i really do see jaan as a rigid, stubborn type, a stickler for rules when he’s the one making them but an absolute loose cannon whenever given an order. thankfully his “i do what i want” attitude doesn’t cause Massive problems bc he has a sense of responsibility and at least one braincell. jino, on the other hand… we’re just glad he’s cheerful and not particularly rebellious

CRAZY CAT VAMPIRES!! going back to noa with cat-like tendencies i imagine him padding around with a cat held in one arm “as a buddy” and everyone like “how has that thing not cleared you to death.” no but the guys having these old people tendencies is so funny to me it’s like a steve rogers situation where every once in a while it hits that “oh . oh right you may look like me but you’re Old” just heli smiling contentedly whenever he understands a pop culture reference or jaan crocheting (which is an even Better image now that i talked abt him up there) or jino learning to out-bake anyone’s grandmother (of course, being able to use his body as an oven helps)

no yeah . yeah sooha wanting to show them how to enjoy life as teenagers and then having to realize she couldn’t have a normal fun teenage life either and all of them working through it together and now i’m crying

i appreciate the chart and stuff bc there’s just So many ways to interpret vampirism and lycanthropy- disease, hereditary, extreme states of being (life or death), and each of them have so many implications and it’s fun to explore!! i wish we knew more abt solon and the guys’ origin UGH

- vrvr anon

man i always forget the limitations of this form of communication <///3 HSJFBVJV im just thankful tumblr apparently got rid of that word/character limit that they had on their asks for a while at least im assuming they did. that would have made our entire thing far less convenient

NO YEAH THE COMEBACK. HA. WOW. jay's voice DEFINITELY does a thing at the beginning of future perfect and i do NOT know how to feel about it. hybe needs to close the gyms fr because how much more ripped is sunghoon gonna GET. and yes u go riki get in your angsty edgy teen phase!!

jaan gives me chaotic lawful energy honestly—he's made his own set of rules and he sticks to them to the letter, but anyone ELSE'S rules? its fair game. jaan and jino both have the potential to be absolutely insane loose cannons (and sometimes ARE if the situation calls for it) but theyre stopped from being complete harbingers of chaos by the fact that jaan is actually oretty rigid and responsible (in his own strange way) and jino is happy-go-lucky cheerful instead of aggressively rebellious. if those two aspects of their personalities did not exist the world would be screwed.

NOA CARRYING A CAT AROUND "AS A BUDDY" PLS I CANT. THATS TOO SWEET. and maybe because hes tall af he can carry several more cats than his brothers and hes always just like (while holding six cats) "its the benefit of having long arms"

ive never watched a marvel movie of my own volition but i got weirdly involved in the fandom for some reason a couple years ago and because of that i Know Some Stuff. so now im thinking about heli being the ULTIMATE out-of-touch grandpa of the brothers, because hes the one out of all of them thats the most focused on protecting them and making sure they stay hidden, so hes never taken the TIME to get involved with the pop-culture of the time. and then when he actually starts to slow down a little and give himself time to LIVE instead of survive (thanks to sooha), and he starts looking into pop-culture more, he gets ABSURDLY PROUD anytime someone (like shion, because you KNOW shion would be the brother thats absurdly invested in everything pop-culture just because he thinks these modern humans are very entertaining) makes a reference to a meme or movie or something and he actually gets it! so like you said hes just sitting or standing there with this big old content grin on his face and he goes "i understood that reference!" and sooha or jino pat him on the shoulder like "yes u did good job heli" LMAO

"oh . oh right you may look like me but youre Old." KSGFJFBFJ EXACTLY and this could be said by either sooha (who even though she WAS born at the same time as them in our au, was conscious for significantly less of it) or OTHER students, in a hypothetical world where the brothers get less terrified for their lives, sooha makes more friends, and heli admits it wouldnt hurt to have a FEW more harmless teenagers in on the secret as long as they're harmless teenagers sooha trusts. which also brings to mind a situation in which jino befriends sooha's friends, and he's nice to them and likes them and everything because he's jino, but then said friends introduce jino to their grandparents and its all off the wall from there. sooha's human friend just stares at jino happily baking cookies and gossiping with their grandma like "why are you better friends with my grandma than you are with me"

i dont have much more to say about sooha and the boys experiencing normal life as teenagers together so im just gonna agree that yeah i am also crying. a lot. i am crying a lot. although in the hypothetical world where more humans get let in on the secret, the guys and sooha would actually have some Normal Teenagers to teach them how Normal Teenager Life is lived—at which point they could all be like "huh. actually we like the weird way we were doing it, but thanks!"

im glad the chart and everything was appreciated!! yeah theres so many different possible interpretations and i HAVE so many thoughts about those different possible interpretations. and many different possible interpretations of my own as you saw HSJFBFJB. its just!!! theyre both so COOL conceptually and theres so much that can be done with them!!! i also wish we knew more abt the guys' origins because so far all we know in canon is "woke up in an orphanage with no prior memories, already possessing both vampirism and magical powers. created somehow???" which. is NOT a lot. pls hybe

and hey look at that! i managed to answer this the same day it came into my inbox! and i only saved it to my drafts ONCE! yay me

#asks #anon 📝 #vrvr anon #dark moon universe #dark moon stuff #dark moon