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sebsbarnes · 3 months

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scarlet flags || tangerine

tangerine x f!reader

summary: you called me angel for the first time, my heart leapt from me

warnings: suggestive- minimal descriptions, toxic situationship

word count: 860+

masterlist

"you don't get to call me every time you get lonely, then pretend you don't know who i am when i'm not hidden behind the walls of your room" you spit, the venom in your tone nearly lethal.

he tutted as you turned away, "don't be ridiculous, angel."

you snapped your head to him, jabbing your pointer finger into his chest, face mere millimeters from his, "you!- you don't get to call me that. don't you fuckin' call me that.

tangerine lazily intertwined his fingers in yours as he hovered above your body. his lips moved soft yet feverishly against your own, it was bliss. you felt intoxicated and you silently prayed the high wouldn't come down. tangerine pulled away and started peppering kisses across your cheek until he reached the skin below your ear. with his teeth he nipped at the flesh pulling it into his mouth, surely to leave a purple splotch on your skin, his mark as if he were an artist. tangerine slid down your body, his lips ghosting down your chest and stomach until he got to your underwear, and through his dark lashes, he looked at you.

"is this okay, angel?" he whispered, his fingers wrapping around the waistband.

angel. this was the first time he called you that. it made your stomach flip, angel. you loved the inflection in his accent when he spoke the nickname. the nickname for you. you felt like you were his. it made your heart leap and you swore a piece of itself landed in tangerine.

"okay, okay! i won't call you angel," tangerine said defensively.

you rolled your eyes in disgust, racking a hand through your hair. he was agitating, this conversation was agitating. tangerine was a smart man so it was surprising when he seemed to act dense to avoid conflict.

"besides, i don't know where you got the idea that i ignore you in public love, i don't," he said crossing his arms.

"oh really? so last week at the gathering? or the gathering before that? you looked through me, like a window, pretended i was nonexistent. do you not realize how that feels?" you spewed.

a silent nod was all he gave you when you greeted tangerine at the work event. perplexed, you raised an eyebrow at his retreating figure but didn’t dwell on it too long now being sidetracked by ladybug. these work gatherings were really an excuse to drink and boast about whatever successful mission you had just come back from. truthfully, they were boring, but it was an unspoken rule that it was mandatory.

ladybug chatted about his healing foot from a gunshot wound but your eyes and mind were elsewhere. across the dimly lit room, tangerine stood with a puffed-out chest talking about the recent bolivia job. his eyes would wander across those listening, soaking in the praise before looking at you. it was quick and not like he had been caught, but as though it was an accident.

watching as his eyes looked up and down at one of the women standing beside him, he smoothed out his mustache before placing a hand on her waist. she threw her head back in laughter and her lips forming the word 'please' as she toyed with his collar.

you hate how you felt. you weren't his, you knew that, but you spent countless hours underneath his sheets and on top of his body and to sit here and be nonexistent made you mad, made you feel little. unfortunately, tangerine had a way of still making you want him and you know you shouldn't. it's funny, really, how his true colors shine in darkness and secrecy.

"c'mon, it wasn't like that, love," he tsked, uncrossing his arms and taking a step forward.

"but it was," you said pointedly.

tangerine sighed, running a hand through his curly hair, "y'know i'm no good at this stuff."

"i don't care if you don't want a serious relationship, tangerine. what i care about is having some respect and not being some disposable body. and what i hate the most is you keep drawing me in and you aren't even doing anything," you spoke.

it was the truth. you'd text each other how you miss the other, saying you wish you could feel him in you, or he'd say he misses your skin and you'd find your way over to his apartment. he'd greet you at the door with strong arms around your waist. most times few words were spoken before you'd find yourself in his bed with his head between your legs crying out to some foreign god.

what you hated most was standing before him now, his eyebrows pulled together and his tongue sucking at his teeth you still felt the unseen magnetic pull to him. you knew that eventually the piece of your heart that leapt into his the first time he called you angel would be broken. though, in this moment you knew after a few more bitter words and rolling eyes you'd find yourself in his arms again, and again. somehow tangerine's scarlet flags would always be washed out in the light of his room.

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enviedear · 6 months

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i've been going solo now ⟶ ben solo

description ⌙ when you get a distress signal from your dad and his life-long goon you're quick to try and come to their rescue. only problem? so is ben solo.

pairing ⌙ smuggler!ben solo x f!reader

warnings ⌙ childhood crush/frenemies turned adults with horrible communication skills, reader is the daughter of lando (biologically or not you decide), ben is a jerk, reader is a brat, petty arguments, forced proximity trope, inner conflict all the time, han and lando are just two pals getting into serious issues that their kids have to fix don't mind them (they're just mentioned), most likely incorrect knowledge of the falcon & starship parts, smuggler!ben solo au because that's canon to me, ben calls reader kid (affectionate, kinda), typos probabaly

word count ⌙ 4.1k

— request | masterlist

i just think ben solo is very much solo by future coded and i wanted to write about smuggler!ben and his smug attitude. special thanks to @crucifiedfaerie for letting me gush over this idea constantly in our dms <3

you never had the stomach for killing— the thought of it or the act itself. the notion of ending someone's life has always been abhorrent to you, leaving a sour sensation in your mouth that lingers long after the deed is done. but right now, you sit, filled with a growing and seemingly unstoppable rage that practically demands blood.

"don't even think about jumping into hyperspace, solo!" your voice is loud but erratic.

the black-haired man piloting the ship gives you a side eye, "and waste hours getting there? sure thing, kid."

you grip the co-pilot seat as hard as possible as he sends the absolutely geriatric ship into lightspeed. the force of it sends your head back onto the headrest, and you screw your eyes shut until the motion of the ship stills.

you've been flying with ben solo on the millennium falcon for a day and a half now, and this isn't even the first time you've wanted to kill him.

no, you'd harbored a hatred for ben solo for as long as you could remember. when you were little your father frequently left you in the care of the organa-solo's. any trip too risky for you to follow him on had you spending time on chandrila han and leia— and ben.

he was a few years older than you and so insufferable - spoiled rotten and full of mischief. the two of you would inevitably end up in scuffles over something, whether it be who got to shower first or which holovid show to watch. you often wondered how your father, han, or leia had managed to handle both of you. a hardheaded pair of troublemakers that needed little excuse to start bickering with one another.

but beneath it all, there had been another layer to your complex relationship with ben solo. even though you feigned anger whenever near him, deep down there had been an admiration growing since those early days spent together. your naive heart fluttered when he would absentmindedly flash his ever-present smirk in your direction. but you'd never admit or act upon any such feelings.

naviagting your crush had been difficult at first. especially having lando calrissian as a parent. you were forced to spend weeks around the source of your teen angst because of your father.

what use is a dad that can sweet-talk a jablogian if he can't fix your unwanted crush on his best friend's son.

you've cursed at his image in your mind every time you look at your ridiculous companion. if not for him, you wouldn't be with ben right now— you'd have never had the displeasure of his company.

you got away from the young solo, and most everyone else, for a good five years, hopping from planet to planet, picking up any honest work. which usually meant boring work— factory jobs, service stuff, a few instances of babysitting.

your life without ben solo is predictable and a little boring.

but you'd rather be bored than deal with the recklessness that becomes your life every time you see the smuggler.

but here you sit beside him, forced to spend an unknown amount of days with him until the both of you find your idiotic fathers.

you had gotten a rouge comm-link message from your dad just days ago. he sounded fine, voice still leisurely and warm, but it was his words that were worrisome, "han's got us in a bit of trouble, little star. would you mind coming to help your old man out? we're somewhere in the trilon sector— i'd try batuu first!"

when you got the message, your mind had gone into autopilot. you had rushed to comm leia, which had been a fatal mistake, as she had ordered her son to pick you up and accompany you. so now you're here, stuck with ben solo and his frightening flying.

"you know, dad should have warned me i'd be flying with a coward." ben's lips are curved into a grin, as usual with his teasing.

you whip your head in his direction, eyes ablaze, "well my father should have warned me that you've gotten even more annoying, somehow."

ben narrows his eyes, a stupid smirk still plastered to his face, "whatever you say, kid."

you feel your blood go hot, why he decided to start calling you kid, you didn't know, but you do know you hate it.

ben's barely your senior, only twenty-three years of age in comparison to your twenty. besides he behaves like an out-of-hand teen away.

"stop calling me that." you groan.

ben chuckles, "aw, what's the matter, kid? tired of following orders already?"

you grit your teeth, the way he talks down to you will forever get under your skin, "i don't take orders from you, solo."

"sure you do. you're on my ship, remember?" ben retorts, his eyes focused on the coordinates displayed to his left.

you cross your arms over your chest, "we're supposed to be working together to find han and my father and get them out of trouble, not bickering like children."

ben rolls his eyes, "it's not my fault you're so uptight."

you take a deep breath, trying to calm yourself down. you can't afford to lose your temper and start a fight, not when you're relying on him to get you to your destination safely. so, you force a smile, "look, can we just be civil? we're both here because we care about our dads and want to help them."

ben's expression softens a little, "fine. but if you start nagging at me again, i can't promise i won't call you kid."

you roll your eyes, "deal. now, can you tell me more about what's going on? my dad was pretty vague in his message."

ben hums, "same with mine. all i know is that lando got mixed up in some kind of shady deal, and now he's in trouble with a gang of criminals called the ninth sun. my mom's been trying to negotiate with them, but they're not ones to bend the knee."

you groan, "of course not. what's the plan?"

he shakes a stray black strand of hair from his eye, "no plan, just find them and go from there."

"lovely, that's totally going to work," you bite your lip, "oh and, it was han who made the sketch deal, not my dad."

ben shrugs, "and who told you that?" he rests his elbow on the armrest and brings his hand to his chin, "lando?"

you clench your fists, "let's just focus on finding them. no need to dwell on the semantics."

ben glances at you and for a moment, you swear there's a flicker of something in his eyes. something other than his usual teasing, mischievous demeanor, but it's gone as quickly as it came and he turns back to the console.

the ship hums steadily beneath you, and the silence between you two stretches on, broken only by the occasional beep from the controls. you fidget in your seat, uncomfortable with the unfamiliar hush. you've never been around ben so long without saying anything, and you're about to speak up before he interrupts you.

"we'll have to make a pit stop, i need to refuel." his voice sounds tired.

you nod, "alright. any nearby planets we can stop at?"

ben checks the navicomputer, "yeah, there's one a couple of light years away. i've been there before, it's not too bad."

"okay solo, lead the way." you say, leaning back in your seat.

as he pilots the ship toward the destination, you can't help but study him from the corner of your eye. he's changed since the last time you saw him. the boy who used to pull your hair and steal your toys has grown into a man. he's lean and toned with longer hair, still as sable black as ever. it falls into his eyes, despite how much he wills it not to, giving him a slightly disheveled look that you can't help but find attractive.

you rue the thoughts plaguing your own mind.

the embarrassment you used to feel over your crush has come back ten-fold. the feeling shocks you. he's trying to act all suave and mature, but you know deep down that he's still the same old ben who annoyed the life out of you. you can feel the familiar tug in your heart every time he speaks, and you know he can't have changed much over the years. not when he's making you feel just like you're fourteen again.

but there is something different about him now. maybe it's the way he pilots the ship with ease– no longer the boy who'd cover his ears ar take off, or maybe it's just the way his muscles flex under his tight-fitting shirt. he's almost mesmerizing.

it's clear that he's been doing this for a long time, navigating the stars all alone with nothing but his shitty attitude and perfect hair. you find yourself marveling over him, sure and smooth, his hands deftly moving over the controls.

ever the realist, you try to shake off the feeling, but it's proving difficult. you feel a strange urge to preserve your current addiction.

as you watch him fly, you feel a fixation building within you. it's a sentiment you haven't felt in years, not felt since the last time you saw him.

you try to push the feeling down, knowing that it's not the time to have those kinds of thoughts. you're supposed to be focused on finding your fathers and not getting killed by some lethal syndicate, not lusting after your childhood nemesis.

you feel wrong stealing glances at him, trying to understand what's changed and why you're feeling this way. you're towing a dangerous, line. especially if those feelings are inspired by ben organa-solo.

finally, after what feels like hours, you arrive at the refueling station. as soon as ben lands the ship, you stretch your legs inside the falcon, looking out at the new scenery. the planet is bathed in the evening light, and the scene around you is wide awake. the station itself is a bustling hub of activity, with all kinds of alien species milling about.

ben leads the way to the fueling station, where he begins filling up the ship's tanks. you stand by the ship's entrance, people-watching. your eyes find ben's figure again, and you let them stall. when he looks your way, you advert your gaze and step out of the falcon, swiftly approaching him.

the evening air is cool as it hits your skin. this planet is a strange one, with vibrant purple plants and thick, white fog swirling around. but you don't pay too much attention to it, your eyes are locked on ben.

he's leaning against the ship, checking over the fuel meter with a frown on his face. you walk over to him and clear your throat, expecting to get his attention.

he looks up at you, eyes meeting your own. you feel your heart skip a beat, and you curse yourself for being soft for him.

"you know, you didn't have to follow me out here." he mumbles, hand coming to brush the hair from his eyes.

you hum, "i didn't have anything better to do."

he ignores you and looks back at the fuel gauge, his eyebrows furrow, "i found something for you to do." his voice is monotone, but you're all too familiar with the subtle cut of annoyance within.

"what does that mean?" you own voice comes out a bit too anxious.

ben groans before looking at you, "one of the damn tanks has a leak— i told chewie to fix that weeks ago." he follows up his words with a few curses before kicking the faulty gas tank.

you roll your eyes, "can't we just get another one? i'm sure if we go inside someone would know where we could get another one."

"the problem isn't finding one," he tsks at you, "the problem is that this tank has been leaking fuel into the beacon finder. without that, we're never finding our dear old dads."

your heart sinks. you had been so sure that you would find your dad quickly, but now it looks like that might not be the case. "so, what do you suggest we do?" you ask, crossing your arms over your chest.

"i'll have to fix the beacon," he sighs, "luckily i have the tools for it, but i need to find one more part, and with the sun setting soon…" he trails off, letting his silence complete the sentence for him.

you take in a deep breath at his implication. you can tell what he is suggesting without explicitly stating it.

you will be stuck on this planet with him tonight and forced to share the same cramped room. you thank god for separate cots, at least.

you try to ignore the warmth creeping up your ears, but you know that it's a losing battle. you haven't shared a room with ben solo since you were kids, endless unwilling sleepovers at each other's houses. but those instances were filled with innocent pranks and arguments, not the tension and longing glances you've found yourself giving him.

"alright," you say, trying to keep your voice even, "we'll just get the part and fix the beacon. the faster we fix this, the faster we can find our fathers and get back to our lives." you move towards the entrance of the fueling station, wanting to put space between you and ben.

"you mean so you can get back to your life." he calls out to you, and you look back at him only to be met with contempt in his brown eyes, "the one where you avoid me."

you give him a sharp eye roll before making your way toward a small gaggle of vendors, much more interested in finding this part. ben follows closely behind you, and you can feel the weight of his stare on the back of your head.

you're at a loss as to why ben solo would ever care that you've been avoiding him for the last five years. the ben you remember would've never batted an eye. when did that change?

you find a vendor selling the part that ben needs, and you both split the payment before heading back to the falcon. ben sets to work on the beacon, and you sit nearby, supposedly looking over the coordinates but mostly watching him work.

there's an abnormal sense of calm that fills you as you watch him. concentration is etched on his face, lips bitten bright red. you can't help but admire him, not for the sake of not trying.

you're brought back to reality when he starts cursing under his breath, "what's wrong?" you ask, moving closer to him.

"this damn thing won't budge," he grunts, trying to pry apart two pieces of the beacon.

you move to his side, peering down at the device. his breath is hot on your cheek, and you feel an urge to shiver. trying to focus on the task at hand you take a few breaths.

your eyes keep drifting to his lips, the way they move when he curses. you shake your head, trying to clear the inappropriate thoughts from your mind. "let me help," you offer, reaching for one of the tools he's using.

he hands it to you, and you lean in closer, your sides pressed together as you work the tool. you can feel his heat exuding into you, a warmth that isn't just from the planet's humid air. you try to focus, but it's becoming increasingly difficult. every time he moves, you catch a whiff of his scent, musky and rich, and your mind starts to wander to places it shouldn't.

finally, after what feels like an eternity, the piece pops free, and ben lets out a sigh of relief. he turns to you, a small smile on his face, and you can't help but smile back. his eyes lock onto yours, and suddenly, the air between you is charged with something foreign.

you let your tone come out sardonic, "looks like i saved the day. you're welcome, solo."

ben tilts his head, eyes narrowing, "you're a brat, kid."

"i thought i told you to stop calling me that." you want to hit him.

"i said i had a condition," he pauses, arms coming to either side of you, palms pressing into the falcon's floor, effectively trapping you against him, "a condition you just broke. so you're back to kid, kid."

you feel your resolve slipping, "you're the worst. you always have been, and i can see now that will never change."

he has the audacity to let out an amused breath, "if you're going to say shit like that, at least mean it."

your brows furrow, "pardon me? as if i don't mean that."

his hands creep from the ground and to your hips, you gasp as he pulls you in closer. if he were anyone else, you'd expect him to kiss you next, but he's not anyone else. so instead, he cranes down and whispers in your ear, his breath hot against your skin. "i know you want me," he growls, his fingers digging into your clothed flesh. "don't act like you don't,"

you're completely caught off guard, and before you can respond, he's pulling away from you and grabbing the beacon. you watch in silent horror as he makes for the falcon's exit, leaving you confused on the floor.

you sit there, rooted to the spot, your mind and body in turmoil. you know if you follow him you'd just be throwing yourself into a petty or embarrassing altercation.

what did he mean by that anyway? how could he possibly know?

taking a steadying breath, you turn away from your seat and make for the other side of the ship. you need to keep yourself busy until nighttime, and you know that there's some maintenance to do on one of the storage bays. when you get there, however, it's already been taken care of. your fists clench in frustration as you realize ben must have done it earlier.

you start searching around the ship for any other tasks that might help keep your mind off things and pass the time more quickly- checking cords, tidying up shelves or going through supplies lists so nothing gets low.

the hours seem to stretch on endlessly despite how much work you manage to do, and all too soon darkness begins to fill the sky outside of the cockpit windows. with a heavy sigh, you head back towards where you and ben had been working earlier. he's back now, tinkering away with the beacon as if nothing had ever happened between the two of you earlier— as if his words hadn't sent a tremble down your spine and confused the emotions tumbling through your mind.

you catch an expectant glance from him when he finally notices your presence. you're sure he's expecting you to say something to him. maybe he wants you to yell.

you don't say anything though, instead offering only a terse nod before checking the endless cords around you.

your fingers move quickly and expertly over the tangled cords, your mind too preoccupied to focus on anything else. but you can feel his gaze on you, burning through the back of your skull like a branding iron. his presence is suffocating and you know that if you don't get a handle on your emotions soon, you'll combust.

eventually, you're so lost in thought that you almost miss the soft footfalls approaching you. you turn to see ben standing beside you, his eyes locked onto yours. the air between you is thick with strain, unspoken words, and feelings. there are so many things you want to say to him, but you don't know where to begin.

"so," his voice breaks through the silence like a blaster shot. "when are we going to talk about it?"

you hear the depth in his baritone voice and it's all you can do to keep your face neutral, your thoughts collected, "talk about what?" you ask, even though you know perfectly well what he's referring to.

"about me and you," he says, voice low but insistent, "or we can just keep ignoring it. the tension seems to be getting us pretty far."

your expression shifts as you take in his words, the longing that had been coiled in so tightly before now coming to the surface. you can feel yourself flustering under the intensity of his watch but you refuse to look away, instead lifting your chin higher and narrowing your eyes.

"there is no us, solo," you say firmly, though your voice is riddled with a hint of something else entirely, "there never has been, and never will be."

ben seems unfazed by your words, his eyes steady and intense. "you say that," he says, his voice softening. "but i know you better than anyone else. and i know there's some part of you that actually likes me. i bet it pisses you off, doesn't it?"

he's right— it does piss you off that your heart can't seem to let him go. no matter how annoying you find him, he's beautiful and confident. and he does know you better than anyone. he knows what buttons to press and how hard. with ben, there's always the thrill of how perceptive he is— that he can see through the walls of anger and indifference you try so hard to build up around yourself.

you can feel your will crumbling under his words, your heart throbbing in your chest, but still, you push back, "even if there is something there, solo," you say, your voice shaking slightly, "it doesn't change anything. we're two different people living two very different lives."

ben smirks, "you don't know anything about my life."

you let your eyes roll, "as if the life you lead is some kind of mystery," you take a deep breath, "i mean, what's to know? you fly alone, smuggle, and rack up credits. that's your life, solo."

he hums, right hand finding a home beside your head on the wall, "you know me so well, kid. you should write a book."

you feel inexplicably hot, "maybe i will. a long book of all the reasons you piss me off."

he doesn't respond, just looks down at you for an uncomfortable amount of time. he pushes himself from the wall and you, twisting and letting his back hit the durasteel wall. his face is turned to you, eyes downcast.

"you know," he says finally, breaking the silence, "i remember when we were kids, it was always you who used to be the one to instigate. you probably don't remember it that way, but i do, and i loved it. you never hesitated. you were fearless."

you look at him incredulously, wondering what this has to do with anything. but he continues, "you were the only girl that would play with me, and not just that, the only one that could beat me. but then one day you just stopped. you ignored me completely."

you stiffen, unwilling to admit even through body language that he might be right. a pre-teen you found avoiding your ben sized crush the most viable option. you just never thought he'd care.

he continues, eyes unwavering from yours, "you used to look at me like i was the only person that mattered. and then, you just stopped. it's was like… like you had something to hide."

it's like he can read your mind because he reaches out and grasps your wrist in his hand. his touch is nice against your skin, sending a comfortable feel through your veins.

"i miss you, the girl who wasn't afraid of liking me," he whispers, his voice low and husky. "and i want you to admit that you miss me too."

you struggle to find words, to make sense of everything inside of you, but before you can speak, his lips are on yours. his kiss is hot and demanding, and instinctively lean into him, body melting against his in perfect harmony. his hands slide around your waist and hold you close as the kiss deepens, and you can feel all of the frustrations of the past slipping away. when he finally pulls back, his eyes are bright with emotion and a hint of a smile graces his lips.

he looks down at you for a moment before speaking in a low voice, "you want me to do that again?" he steps closer to you and cups your face in his hands, his eyes twinkling with amusement. you can feel the warmth radiating from his body and if it weren't for his strong arms around you, you would have melted into a puddle.

you nod slowly in agreement, too lost in the moment to say anything else. he leans down and brushes his lips against your cheek before pulling away completely, "then be honest. right here, right now. you like me."

you screw your eyes shut, basking in the shame of being found out, "i like you, solo. i like you a lot, but if you don't get off your pedestal and kiss me again i'll withdraw the opportunity."

he gazes down at you with an expression that's tender yet mischievous all at once. "i like you too," he whispers before chuckling lightly, you open your eyes to see.

his dimples are on full display, and for a second, he's the spirit of the little brat you fell in love with all those years ago. "c'mere, kid." his voice is soft as he pulls you back into him, lips meeting yours.

#ben solo x reader #ben solo #ben solo x y/n #ben solo x you #kylo x reader #kylo ren x reader #kylo ren #kylo ren x you #ben solo fluff #ben solo angst #kylo ren fluff #kylo fluff #kylo ren angst #kylo angst #ben solo x female reader #kylo x you #kylo ren x y/n #smuggler!ben solo

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rillils · 3 months

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STEVE & BUCKY'S LOVE STORY, UNABRIDGED SOMEWHAT ABRIDGED, part 3/4 (here are part 1 and part 2)

i just want to preface this by saying: as much as they tried to make this movie all about tony, and as much as they tried to no-homo the steve/bucky situation, they still somehow ended up making CACW the gayest movie in the whole cap trilogy, and that's saying something *throws confetti*

now, picking up where we left off:

aided by his friends sam and natasha, steve spends the following two years or so chasing after bucky, looking for clues as to where he could be hiding, until he eventually finds him.

their reunion scene is like. i honestly don't know if i can convey the sheer, ridiculous, absolute beauty that is this scene.

the thing is, steve isn't the only one who discovered bucky's location: the bad guys did too, and they're coming. like they're coming RIGHT NOW, as sam keeps trying to warn steve. which means that he and bucky have about 20 seconds to do this, and that might sound like too short of a time, right? but honey, the amount of repressed emotions and homoerotic subtext these two manage to stuff into those 20 seconds, my god--

no because like, there's a whole-ass SWAT team outside, waiting to crash through their door and blow up the place, yeah? and instead of getting the fuck out of there PRONTO, steve, mr romeo fucking rogers, decides to spend those precious few seconds trying to get bucky to admit that he loves him, making this much yearned-for, long-awaited reunion the most high-stakes game of gay chicken in the whole of history. you might think i'm kidding, but i'm not!!!!

INTRODUCING:

in the red corner, we've got steve basically telling bucky: "i know that you remember me, i know that you saved me because you still love me, please will you just say it out loud babe"

and in the blue corner there's bucky, extremely conflicted because YES, of course he loves steve, but he also knows he's putting steve in danger just by standing in the same room as him, and steve shouldn't even be here in the first place, and anyways STEVE NOW'S NOT THE TIME PLS FUCK

so he's just (unsuccessfully) trying to deny everything, you know?? "fuck no i don't know you, just know your name from a museum, what do you mEAN i saved your ass because i love you more than life itself and that's literally the first thing i remembered when i got my memory back"

(a quick reenactment:)

but really, you'll see the love in bucky's eyes if you just look hard enough.

n- no, look harder

a bit harder?

see, i told you

so here they are, just about to slam each other into the nearest wall and make out like it's brokeback mountain and they're just two guys coming from a time where their love had to be kept a secret and they miss what little privacy they used to have in their own little bubble when they were younger and living together and then life tore them apart and they haven't seen each other in ages and they've been yearning all the while and now that they're finally standing before each other again the air feels electric between them and they just can't help but- wait. uh. that, uh. that sounds familiar. uh.

OKAY so they're totally about to snog the living daylights out of each other, but time is running out. the bad guys are here!! and- and also a bunch of other people! because apparently everybody wants bucky either dead or locked up for one reason or another!! MY BOY CAN'T CATCH A FUCKING BREAK!!

so bucky is apprehended. but before anyone can do much about it, this other guy - this movie's Official Antagonist™ - gets bucky alone and triggers bucky's brainwashed assassin persona into taking over.

no longer conscious of his own actions, bucky wreaks havoc in the building, knocking people down in his wake like a sexy buff steamroller, and tries to escape; but steve, desperate not to lose him again, goes after him and stops him.

by grabbing onto a fucking helicopter, as one does

one extremely romantic, freaking insane stunt later, steve manages to get bucky to safety. next thing you know, bucky's waking up and back to himself, and they finally have a bit longer than 20 seconds to talk. you think they're gonna be normal about this? you think they're gonna share a standard heart to heart conversation? oh hell no, babes. WHIP OUT THE BEDROOM EYES, TURN THAT SOFTNESS UP TO ELEVEN, WE'RE UNLOCKING A BRAND NEW LEVEL OF EMOTIONS HERE

seriously. you don't know what true tenderness is, until you've heard james buchanan barnes softly say, in his sweet, gruff, velvety drawl, barely holding back a smile, "your mom's name was sarah. you used to wear newspapers in your shoes."

also the two of them just. spend half the scene making INTENSE heart eyes at each other, gazing deeply and intimately in each other's eyes, just bypassing the flirting zone to move straight to eye-lovemaking lane, while sam is in the room, because they've got no chill whatsoever.

unfortunately, sam cockblocks reminds them that they don't have time for this shit (dammit, sam) as they kinda have more pressing matters at hand, being on the run from like every government in the world (and then some). also they must neutralize The Antagonist™ before he can act on his Evil Plan™, so, you know. put the eyesex on hold, guys!

(to be continued in part 4)

#stucky #stevebucky #the silly stucky recap you didn't ask for #part 3 :D #so this got too long and i thought it'd be best to split it in two parts #hence the change from 3/3 to 3/4 #rillers scribbles #i'm still not 100% sure how to tag it in the first place tbh xD #but here #have some silliness in your day #cacw

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daisymylove · 1 year

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I sincerely don't know if Im alone on this one, so I want to know what yall think. Again, I may get some heat for this, but it’s my honest opinion.

Something I noticed in my reread is that I grew a slight dislike for lucie in chot, and as someone who had always previously rooted for her, I’m currently annoyed at myself.The thing is, Lucie IS a very privileged and sheltered girl.She was born into a wealthy, loving family and, because of her apparent “normalcy”, never suffered the brunt of the shadowhunter prejudice like Tessa and James.

None of this is a problem in itself, but my point here is that there were always other people protecting, thinking and worrying for her, so I think not only she never realized how precarious her family’s position actually was, but also has no true understanding of consequences and how the “real world” works.She knew in some level that what she was doing regarding jesse was dangerous, but was never truly afraid of repercussions, bc unconsciously she knows there will be someone to catch her . And while I do like to see a character become aware of its own privileges along the narrative, there’s no growing here.She finished the book without ever realizing it, because everything was just SO easy and convenient, and that bothers me greatly.

In all fairness, how could she? she does whatever she wants with no consequences.

I feel so conflicted bc while I actually cheered when she brought jesse back in choi, and always shipped them, I find the outcome of her actions to be low-key infuriating.Lucie wasn’t willing to give Jesse up, but also never seriously considered giving up her comfortable life to start over with him somewhere.That ludicrous and set to fail jeremy blackthorn plan wasn’t even her idea, it was the people around her finding a way to fix her “mistakes” to save all of their asses from jail.

Lucie could’ve had her marks stripped, her father could’ve lost the institute, it could’ve costed Tessa’s life.Those guys had been waiting 25 years for the slightest opportunity to pounce on her, does anyone seriously believe they wouldn’t all automatically think the warlock mother was involved? How come there was some major necromancy going on under her roof and she had no idea? we know she didnt, but still All of this was severely downplayed and there was little to no conflict regarding it, and anyone can correct me if im wrong, but none of that ever dawned on lucie.She never fully thought about how her family would be implicated, and nobody brought that up to her.Zero confict just chill, I guess this is our life now .Dont get me wrong, I dont want that shitstorm to actually happen,I just wanted her to become AWARE of it

she literally brought home this complete stranger to them all (we know jesse, the characters dont) that was 8 years her senior (it doesnt matter his body was frozen for 7 years, mentally jesse is 24), Tatiana’s son, and had been dead up until last tuesday, but nobody save perhaps jessamine, and god it pains me to agree with jessamine had a problem with that.Instant acceptance, no resistance, no objections at all.All it would take for that lie to crumble would be ONE trial by the sword at any point of their lives and everybody was as chill as chicken joe from surfs up

Her fight with Cordelia pissed me off too. Lucie meddled on something she had no right and no knowledge of,and demanded things of Cordelia without even being willing to hear her out. ”oh the poor thing is suffering so much bc of you, why can’t you just take him back?” GIRL, FOR ALL SHE KNOWS, UNTIL A WEEK AGO, HOME BOY WAS SWEARING UNDYING LOVE AND BURNING DOWN MANORS FOR GRACE BLACKTHORN.

WE know poor james was ensorcelled and fighting it, but what was cordelia supposed to think of it? How dare she assume that Cordelia “took advantage of James going to Cornwal to run away with matthew”?

The demon of secrets in edom scene was plain ridiculous.”yo I had a childhood crush on your brother, sorry for never telling you, I was embarrassed” is not a big deal.The fact that they needed demonic intervention for THAT so late in the book baffles me

While I do think most characters were severely nerfed on this book and behaved ooc on several occasions (swear to god I have some mild ptsd from all the times cordelia ran and did unhinged things) , my conclusion about Lucie’s arc is that she took her good life for granted, endangered her entire family, didnt grow from the experience, but still got everything she wanted with no consequences or sacrifices.She lost a cousin along the way, but who cares about that guy? what was his name again? Its my understanding that Lucie never even faced a trial.Thats unrealistic and bad writing, if you ask me.When I think it over, the word that comes to me is...spoiled.

And dont get me started on the fact that she found out Malcom was planning on doing full blown necromancy and didnt do anything about it.How that had no repercussions AT ALL still blows my mind.

The worst part for me is that I genuinely believe Lucie deserved better you know?

If lucie and cordelia hadnt been allowed to become parabatai, and jesse had received some other minor yet life changing punishment, and we had seen a trial scene I would’ve been satisfied, because at least it wouldn’t have been nothing.

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ohitsminuet · 3 months

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PLS HELP ME WHAJT IS THIS TOMFUCKERY??????????? HELP ME PLS PLS PLSSS HELP TOIPAD EXPERT 😭

SPOILERS FOR INANIMATE INSANITY S2 AND MENTIONS OF ABUSE, INC*ST AND P*DOPHILIA BELOW.

Oh, boy, this'll be a long one.

Minuet isn't here to answer himself, but LMAOOOOO?????? Personally I wouldn't say anything Bug (@bugdatabase) hasn't said in this post.

https://www.tumblr.com/bugdatabase/740813373718118400/not-an-anon-calling-toipad-proship-as-an

But! If you want to go even further with the evidence: In this post, Justin himself says that “[He] always felt that PayJay (a ship with a character he voices) is a pretty cool ship).”

Besides, we (Minuet and I) both find it ridiculous to tell someone who is, under the transmitter's point of view, “uninformed” (someone who, under the point of view of someone who thinks it's a proship, likely doesn't know) to “get their senses together”. That's just plain rude. Even if it was a proship, there is a clear lack of tact in this ask, and articulating it differently could have made a different, likely more positive impact. Going “hey, this ship is problematic jsyk” is less aggressive, and in the case that the person /is/ in fact uninformed, can be taken more lightly and solved more amicably.

(But of course, Tumblr is not always amicable, is it?)

In the second post attached, Justin also says that we as a community should value our own sense of interpretation as long as it doesn't go completely against the canon of the show. Which it doesn't, because Toilet and MePad literally make up in canon! And they are shown to be friends after T&B! Even after MYOB, you've got to accept that if they aren't in good terms, MePad did everything he could to convince MePhone to let Toilet stay. Toilet is very compassionate, and even if they’re stuck in a strange desencuentro, he would definitely know this.

Yes, MePad not helping him definitely would leave a mark in their relationship, but that doesn't make the ship abusive or toxic in any way. They were stuck in the middle of a chain of unhealed generational trauma, but none of them are abusive. It's all a petty one-sided conflict for MePhone4’s attention. Toilet doesn't know how to react to being thrown aside, so he develops a strange unrequited rivalry towards MePad. The thing is though! They make up! They communicate their feelings to one another!

Is Toilet hateable under popular perspective? Probably. He's clumsy, loud, not very bright and made for you to either hate him or laugh at him. But that doesn't mean that he isn't a character worth analyzing. He deserves love, which he never receives, even after 14 episodes of dealing with what he deals with. I know it's silly to sympathize with a fictional toilet, but he really does deserve more development and closure for his arc, and as Minuet has expressed in the past, MePad (character) has what it takes to break the cycle and provide him with the affection that he needs. (We're guiding ourselves based off our own analyses of II S2 and canon itself, btw. Not any theories.)

Conclusion: Leave ToiPad and its shippers alone. It is not a problematic ship. Neither of them are abusive, Justin is not uncomfortable with ships of the characters they voice, and it is most definitely Not inc*stuous and/or p*dophilic.

- Nonne (🔪)

#Whoops. Derailed for a bit.#You can tell we love ToiPad.#Nonne's Asks #This is not meant to start any arguments. Don't come into our asks trying to argue that ToiPad is a proship because it is NOT.#You will not change our minds

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nocturne-overtures · 22 days

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𝑵𝒆𝒘 𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔

𓆩⟡𓆪Summary: You decide today's the day you try a bit of role reversal in the bedroom. It takes some...encouragement, but you don't think your boyfriends are opposed to trying a few new things if it feels this good

𓆩⟡𓆪Pairing: Fem! Reader/ Jackson Wang (Got7)/ Johnny Suh (NCT127)/Lee Jooheon (Monsta X)

𓆩⟡𓆪Genres/Aus: Non-Idolverse, Fluff, Romance, Humor, Smut, Polyamorous Relationship

𓆩⟡𓆪Tws: Swearing, Light Anxieties

𓆩⟡𓆪Sws: Role Reversal, Switch Idol, Switch Reader, Hickies, Hair Pulling, Praise Kink, Teasing, Handjobs, Cunnilingus, Blowjob, Riding, Unprotected Sex, Creampie

𓆩⟡𓆪Rating: Explicit/Mature (18+)

𓆩⟡𓆪WC: 3.3k

𓆩⟡𓆪A/n: *crawls out of hell with an upload finally* the following is one of the commissions from the lovely and every paitient @jacksons-goddess-gaia I hope you enjoy it as I get back into the swing of things mwah

𓆩⟡𓆪AO3| Taglist Form (Please make sure your urls are updated and able to actually be tagged) | Commission Sheet𓆩⟡𓆪

𓆩⟡𓆪Network Ping- @kwritersworld | @k-vanity |⟡𓆪

𓆩⟡𓆪©nocturne-overtures. do not repost, translate, or use my works𓆩⟡𓆪

★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★・・・・・・★

"They’ll never let me do something like this. I’m going walk in there and they’re gonna be like; ‘haha! Just kidding, bend over kitten.’”

Jooheon watched you pace back and forth in front of your shared home, puffs of vapor leaving his lips as the occasional snowflake fell into his hair. In his hand, a bag is steadily collecting a small pile of snow the longer you two stand outside in the chill of November.

“For someone who challenged them to let you take charge this time, you're freaking out more than expected.” His voice is even, but you can see his lips twitch up as you whirl around to face him, indignant.

“You’re supposed to have my side!”

“Why? It’s not as hard as you’re making it out to be. Just say you’re nervous.”

You feel the heat of embarrassment creep up to your ears as you huff and unlock the front door, finally stomping inside. Jooheon could tease, sure. He’d taken charge and let himself be taken care of countless times in this relationship, more than anyone else. To him, this was second nature.

As you toe off your shoes and shrug off your jacket, you begin thinking back to how these thoughts came to be. It started with a show the four of you were watching. It was cheesy and quite a predictable drama. The pushover of the main pairing had been insulted by some side characters only for that to devolve into some misunderstanding argument between them and their partner which ended up in the roles being the same as they always were.

Heaven’s forbid one of those dramas change up the status quota and have a switch couple, right?

So, like the genius you were, as Jackson was making a comment on the location of the shot in the drama and Johnny was laughing at the ridiculousness of the whole conflict, you spoke.

“I bet I could take charge next time and not immediately fold like Yu Han here.” You proudly state while tossing a piece of popcorn in your mouth. The conversation around you seemed to fizzle out instantly and it took you a bit longer than you cared to admit to notice the three pairs of eyes locked onto you.

Lifting your gaze, you blink.

“....what?”

“Are you saying that’s what you want to do?” Jackson inquired. You replay the last thing you said in your head and sit with your lips parted. Johnny cocks his head from his spot on the loveseat, running his fingers through Jooheon’s hair.

“How about the next time we fool around, we let Y/N take charge, then?”

None of them look like they’re mocking you for the suggestion, but the idea itself makes a mixed sense of anxiety and excitement float through your veins.

So, of course, you went to the internet to try and figure out how to smoothly transition into the position switch.

And, naturally, that ended up in you being more stressed out than ever. Some of them were endearing stories of success, while there was also a fair share of failure stories of someone ruining the mood or accidentally injuring their partner during play and it all made you way more nervous.

Jooheon put his hand on the small of your back, kissing your cheek before he looked into your eyes.

“It’s okay. Just take your time. None of us are going to laugh at you or something if you don’t find that it comes easily to you.”

You smile at him and take his hand, raising your voice to call into the home.

“We’re home!”

The sound of a door opening and closing somewhere catches your attention. Johnny emerges from down the hall, hair tousled and a wide smile on his face as Jackson pushes past him, face ablaze as he muttered something about someone not having any self-restraint.

You can see the fresh dark red marks along his throat that told you everything you needed to know about what they had been doing.

“Took you guys a bit to get back home. Was the drive alright?” Jackson inquired, straightening out and smiling when he spotted the two of you dusting snowflakes out of your hair. Johnny turned on his heel, jogging down the hall to go get some towels to help you dry off.

“It was alright. Had to drive a bit slow but we got everything we needed.” You inform him, making your way to the kitchen. Johnny stops you, putting a towel over your hair and rigorously ruffling your hair while laughing at your shrieks of protest.

“You gotta dry off properly babe.” He grins, laughing as you swat at his pectoral the moment he let you go.

Jooheon had an easier time, humming as Jackson helped dry his bright orange hair. He was rewarded with a kiss before Jackson shook his head and pointed towards the bedroom.

“Change, both of you. I will not have you both getting pneumonia.”

You and Jooheon march off to the bedroom, neither of you keen on trying to argue with Jackson knowing he was 1000% right. Jooheon glanced at you once the door closed, pulling his shirt over his head.

“Are you going to do it tonight?” He inquired. You bite your lip, fingers fidgeting with the hem of your shirt.

It’s not that hard.

Jooheon sees the anxiety that’s taken hold of you and comes closer, kissing the top of your head and sending you a dimpled smile.

“There’s no rush, you know that, right? We’re not going anywhere.” His smile melts your heart a bit, and you nod, taking a calming breath. Jooheon stayed to ensure you were alright before leaving first in his fresh clothes.

You head out not too long after, wearing several articles of clothing from them.

Johnny’s button up, Jackson’s t-shirt, and Jooheon’s basketball shorts, the drawstring tied extra tight so it stayed on your hips.

When you come back, you walk up to Johnny, tugging at the waistband of his sweatpants. He looked down at you and blinked before he saw you subtly pucker your lips. A smile stretched across his lips and he leaned over, kissing you slow and deep. There’s something about the way he slots against you that makes you want to buckle on instinct. Not just him, all three of them. You wanted to push past this feeling and be able to give them the same sensation.

Your mind wanders, and so do your hands, tracing over Johnny’s muscles, pressing yourself to him as you pushed back, giving slight challenge in this kiss. Johnny let out a muffled hum, hands finding their way to your waist, kneading.

Your body is flush against his, and you lose yourself in the kiss, mind wandering, thinking of all the ways they’d gotten you completely turned out for them. Every touch, every kiss, every chuckle, how could you do the same for them-

“Mmph-’

Your eyes crack open halfway, and you look up, locking eyes with Johnny.

That was a whimper.

Your mind focuses and you take inventory of the situation. He’s panting, looking at you in surprise, his lips swollen, red from where you had bit him, and your hand was tangled in his hair, pulling him enough to make him tilt his head back.

Your lips part, and you almost apologize, but you stop short seeing the look on his face.

Dazed, flustered .

You hold his gaze, and there's a pleasant tingle that runs up and down your spine as you tilt your head slightly. Johnny moved to speak, but you experimentally push your weight against him ever so slightly, tugging his hair.

“Tilt your head for me.”

He doesn’t hesitate, his Adam’s apple bobbing as your lips brush along it. His breathing is shallow, and you can feel he’s stirring slightly against your thigh as you try to lean more into the feeling that had gripped you.

“ Good. Just like that. Good boy.”

Johnny’s knees actually buckled for you, and he looked at you out of the corner of his eye, letting out a shuddering breath. You can tell the words had their intended purpose as you hear him let out a small, off-guard chuckle before he murmured a breathy ‘ fuck’ .

“You two gonna dry hump in the kitchen or get something to eat?” Jackson inquired, curiously looking at the two of you. You bite the inside of your cheek to keep back the whine of disappointment at being interrupted, but instead, you push off of the counter behind Johnny, smiling and running your hand down his body, over the telltale bulge in his pants for a brief moment before making your way over to the dining room.

“Coming~”

Jackson glances between you and Johnny curiously and blinks at the flustered mess you’d made of your boyfriend. Jooheon smiled at you as you sat down, subtly nodding.

‘You did it’.

You smile and sit beside him, listening to your boys as they begin to recap and talk about their day. Normally you were just as chatty as they were, but you spend your time watching them subtly. Johnny’s blush had only slightly gone down, but he had kept casting glances at you, subtly touching his neck every now and again.

You catch him one of these times, smiling and blowing him a small kiss before you turn your attention to Jooheon, hooking your ankle against his and tugging slightly.

The move made him stop mid-sentence, but he caught your eye and cleared his throat, continuing and not resisting the move and letting you tug a bit further, spreading his legs apart. You smile around the rim of your water glass, setting it down and listening more, your hand finding its way to his thigh, squeezing and kneading. Jooheon took it in stride, though you can see red creep up to the tip of his ears as your hand inches higher, squeezing and kneading the toned muscle there. He kept his eyes on Jackson and Johnny across the table, but at this point, you’re sure both of them knew what you were up to.

Especially after you make eye contact with Jackson while you squeeze and stroke Jooheon through the sweatpants. Jooheon jolted beside you before letting out a needy groan, spreading his legs and pressing into your hand.

You remember past experiences, personal experiences, even the filthy novels and audios you indulge yourself in, and you find yourself speaking while holding Jackson’s gaze.

“ Sit still.”

Jooheon shuddered and planted his ass flat into the chair, biting on his chopstick with an audible ‘clank’ as he forced down his usual bratty challenging sass. As much as he liked to do so with the other two, he knew it took a lot for you to build the confidence to take control like this. He wanted to see how far you'd go and didn't want you to lose confidence in the middle of it.

“Yes ma’am.” was his response instead. Your lips curled up and you turned your head, kissing the underside of his jaw as a reward.

Jackson looked between the two of you, brows up in interest before he wiped his mouth, cocking his head to the side.

“What should we do next?” the question is open-ended, but he’s staring directly at you. He’s picked up on the vibes of the night and you smile, the last of your lingering anxieties melting away as you realize you were a lot more comfortable with this than you originally gave yourself credit for.

“Jackson, come with me. I need a shower. Johnny, Jooheon, we should get ready for bed.” You stand, gathering your dishes and casting a glance over your shoulder.

“Make sure everything is ready for us. We wouldn’t want to be cold this evening.”

The youngest duo of the three men perk and look at one another, smiling and nodding, darting past you to put their dishes away. You set yours aside and turn to Jackson, reaching down to hook your fingers into his, pulling him toward the bathroom.

In no time, you have him against the shower wall, placing biting kisses along his soaked skin as you grab and stroke his cock in slow, methodical strokes.

Jackson kept his eyes on you, nearly mirroring Jooheon earlier and bucking into your hand, but you push down on him, eyes flicking up and pinning him with a heated gaze. He finds himself speaking before he can think, throbbing in your hand.

“I’m sorry, I’ll be good.”

You smile, your face flushed but that sweet, powerful tingle of electricity runs up and down your spine.

“Good, I’m going to take care of all three of you tonight.” You whisper against his damp skin, feeling your confidence swell now that all three of them had responded well to your actions and what you had been trying to do all night.

You carry that with you into the bedroom, where you find both Jooheon and Johnny rutting against one another, throbbing and nearly ready to cum already as they traded feverish kisses. You watch them for a moment before biting your thumbnail, cocking your head to the side.

“I sure hope you two weren’t intending on cumming without me telling you to.” Your voice is cheery, bubbly, but has an underlying warning in it. Both of them stop short, looking at you while panting.

“S-sorry, Y/n.” Jooheon licked his lips, eyeing the towel barely clinging to your body while Johnny ran a hand through his hair, remembering the sensation of you tugging it earlier. He decided to push back a bit.

“You took a while to come back. Tell me what you want.” He smiled, eyes glinting. Jooheon glanced at him and Jackson looked at the side of your face, ready to step in at any time if the challenge made you lose confidence.

His worries were unwarranted as your lip quirks, making your way over to him and smiling. You grab a pillow from the bed, one of the longer ones, and drop it to the floor at your feet.

“On the floor. Get on your knees.”

Johnny stared at you with a spark of chaos in his eyes, but he slowly peeled himself off of Jooheon, kneeling before you. You make your way over to him, standing in front of him and grabbing a fistful of his hair once more. A loving look crosses your face as hold each other’s gaze.

“You know what to do if it’s too much or I go too far, yes?” You question tenderly. Johnny smiled and nodded, raising his chin to kiss your wrist, right over your pulse. He can probably feel how hard your heart is pounding at this moment, but he doesn’t comment on it.

“Yes, ma’am.” He nodded. You don’t respond, raising your leg and planting it over his shoulder, pulling his face directly into your pussy, holding him still as you look up at Jooheon and Jackson.

“Come here. I have something for you two to do.”

The four of you fall into a rhythm, with Johnny’s tongue buried between your folds and both Jackson and Jooheon’s cocks in your hands as you traded sloppy kisses with them. You alternate between slow strokes and quickened ones, a purr and a giggle falling from your lips as you break the kiss, hovering just shy of Jooheon’s lips.

“You sound pretty like this, you know.” You praise him softly, gripping and pulling Johnny’s hair as you feel him change pace.

“Ah, ah. Slow down.”

He shuddered and nodded, spreading his knees apart, his cock standing tall against his abs as he greedily ate you out. You hum and moan breathlessly, letting him know how much you are enjoying it.

“M-More…please more…” Jooheon shuddered, fingers trembling along your skin. Jackson nodded from beside him, his precum dribbling down your fingers. You smile, nodding your chin towards the bed.

“Come on, we’re getting to the best part. You all are doing so well for me.” you praise.

A bit of shuffling about later and you’re seated in Jooheon’s lap, riding him while Johnny greedily licked and kissed at the mess being made of your pussy and his cock. Jackson stood on the bed, holding his arms behind his back as he watched you alternate between teasing kisses and deep, throaty swallows, all while holding smoldering eye contact with him.

“T-Thank you, thank you, please-” Jooheon groans, his cock curving just right. It was almost enough to turn your mind off, almost enough to flip the switch back, but you hold firm, clenching tight and smiling around Jackson’s cock before pulling off with a wet pop.

Jackson whined in complaint as you caressed Johnny’s face until he noticed you wanted him to lift up. When he does, you kiss him deep and slow, tasting you and Jooheon on Johnny’s tongue before turning his head to Jackson, smiling sweetly as you whisper in his ear.

“Be a good puppy and hold onto this for me, okay? Keep it nice and warm for me.”

“Fuck,” Johnny let out a breathy laugh and nodded, leaning in to swallow down Jackoson’s cock, his tongue curling against the underside. You press your back against Jooheon’s back, rolling and grinding your hips as he rocked his own up into you, balls slapping against your ass.

“Thank y-you, Yn~ Fuck, it feels so good, thank you for, ah- taking care of us” Jooheon keens, eyes fluttering as he throbbed inside of you. You feel a wave of pride wash over you as you clench around him. You were sure he had been close to cumming inside of you, but he stilled his hips, sending you a pleading look over your shoulder.

“Please, can I cum inside? I did well, right?” He pants, practically begging as your ass jiggles every time it made contact with his thighs. You run your fingers into his hair, pulling and leaving dark hickies along his neck as you still your hips.

“If you want to cum so bad, go ahead. Get yourself off. Milk yourself for me so the other two can see.”

You keep your lips against his neck, moaning in delight as you feel his hands land on your hips, a whimper of need leaving his lips as he sped up, thrusting into you and chasing his orgasm with near pleading desperation in his voice.

You close your eyes, listening to the wet sound as goosebumps rise up along with sweat and precum running down your skin. Had you had looked behind you, you would have noticed Johnny had been pushed down fully onto Jackson’s cock, throat squeezing and constricting his cock as both he and Jackson watched you and Jooheon mere feet away.

“Y/n! Fuck! Yes yes yes, thank you! Fuck!” He whimpered in need and finally pressed deep, throbbing, and trembling as he came inside of you. You moan, gripping him like a vice as you cum shortly after, hearing the sound get even sloppier as he milked every drop inside of you.

You push his chest when he’s finished and spent, rolling your hips slowly and smiling with a glint in his eye as you look back at Jackson and Johnny.

Both of them have their eyes locked onto your pussy and the messy creampie Jooheon had left behind. When you still yourself, they glance up, meeting your fervent gaze.

You’re unsure where this strong wave of confidence came from after the earlier anxieties, but now that you’d let it wash over you, there was no stopping you now.

You raise your hips, sighing in displeasure when Jooheon’s half-hard cock falls out of you, messy and covered in both your and his juices. You roll over onto your back, spreading your legs and rubbing your pussy, not minding the mess at all. Your next words cause both of them to surge forward eagerly;

“Well? Who’s next ?”

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vaspider · 9 months

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Hi Spider

I just reblogged a post thread discussing slurs and the reclamation of such from you, because I agree with what everyone there is saying about curating your own experience and how to deal with trauma triggers in real life as opposed to online etcetcetc But there was one teensy tiny part of your addition to that thread that has me feeling some things and.. I dunno. I guess I'm trying to figure out if saying something about it at all is a dick move? I know it would be derailing to saying anything on the thread itself, which I absolutely don't want to do. But I genuinely don't know if my initial instinct/thought of 'man I wish people would choose their words more carefully' is the kind of thing I should just think to myself and sigh and move on or if it would be good or worthwhile in any way to point this out:

Not all of us have trauma associated with being queer. And I've always felt a bit like an outsider because so much of the queer stories I've seen until fairly recently had been coming out stories that either involve a lot of conflict or at least anticipate conflict in the lead up (or were like Brokeback and involved a lot of violence even with people being closeted), but I can usually shrug that off because those stories have never felt like they're trying to say everyone's experiences are a certain way. They're stories about individuals and sometimes one individual's story won't resonate with another and that's fine. But you specifically said that all of us have trauma and I know it's ridiculous especially given the subject of the thread but it just made me very sad. And then mad at myself for being sad over such a small thing. And then just genuinely unsure whether this was just an 'i need to feel my feelings and move on' situation or a situation where I should say something.

Apologies for the length.. but thank you for reading.

The number of people in the queer community who weren't traumatized about being queer is so small as to be a rounding error. Maybe someday that won't be the case, but it is now. And it is, yes, kind of strange to come into the inbox of someone who has talked openly about being repeatedly emotionally abused, religiously abused, and physically and sexually assaulted for being queer (and who has -- because of this -- been a sort of community conduit for people processing and recovering from their trauma) to complain about feeling left out because you're the exception that proves the rule.

Like, congrats. I'm genuinely happy for you. Maybe someday everybody will be like you. It is my most dearly-held hope that this will be the case.

Next time maybe, yes, just feel your feelings and move on if you're the lucky rounding error, rather than essentially asking someone who's been openly living their survivorship to comfort you about ... feeling left out when we talk about that trauma and its effects on the community.

#queer issues #queer community trauma

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lauranthalasah · 1 year

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I believe Nate's arc is not that much about redemption, I believe it is about healing. He acted the way he did not because he is an evil person, he was hurt, always on the defensive, but there were reasons for that, probably more than the ones I can grasp, so he felt attacked and responded in kind. We know that the team, Will, Ted, meant no harm to him (at least in season 2),but we saw season 1, we saw Nate's reality for who knows how long, and when Ted came he didn't demand a stop of the bullying, like, I understand where he was coming from, but for the bullied person... it sucks, basically Ted put the team over the individual here. Listen, I adore Ted, but this was a shit move, I like it as part of the story, because it shows us that Ted isn't perfect, it shows us he has blind spots, blind spots that in season 2 covered Nate's actions. I also like it because it adds more reality to Nate's feelings, we know that Ted didn't have his back completely, so Nate is right to doubt him.

Now, of course, what Nate did/said in season 2 was not right, but it came from a place of hurt. What he said to Colin was wrong, but we do remember Colin was one of his bullies, probably for years, and I do not remember Colin actually apologizing to him (maybe he did... I really don't remember). The way Nate treated Will was the worst for me because Will truly didn't deserve it at all, but it came from the same hurt, feeling ridiculed and replaced. Then we have what he did and said to Ted, funny enough most of what he said to Ted shouldn't have been directed at him, I think it's more something that was meant for his own father, because Ted did treat him different than the previous year, but because he treated him more like an equal, something that Nate wasn't ready to see and/or internally accepted back then because he still was searching for paternal approval. What he did... by telling Trent about Ted's panic attacks, that was a low blow, but I think it is the public humiliation that Nate had to live with when being bullied all those years that moves him to do that, retaliation, the bullying did end with Ted's management, but not with Ted's direct actions.

Season 2 Nate hurt so bad for me, like at the end, when he screams at Ted and leaves... I think I felt mostly like Ted, sad. I know that in Ted's case there's a part of guilt too, but I think mostly it's sadness, Nate was hurting so bad, he was so lost, and he was backlashing at everything in an attempt to regain some control, and everything came from internal conflict. I, one hundred percent, understand why Ted forgives him immediately, I did too. What I love about Nate in season 3 is how bit by bit he claws his way back to his heart, how he learns to stand for himself, for what he believes, and starts liking the way he is, and taking risks. Now he is in a good place internally, now he has accepted himself, doesn't need external validation so much, accepts and laughs a bit about his own shortcomings, and it's finally realizing that not everyone is out to get him, and maybe, they weren't back then either. Because now he also understands his own values, and maybe... Other people did value him after all, and they weren't attacking him, maybe they weren't leaving him on the side, maybe they meant it when they called him "The Great" and "Wonder Kid", because maybe, just maybe, he is worth all of that. So now... now he can see that he acted wrongly to some people, because their intentions weren't what he thought they were, and now he can finally say "I'm sorry" and mean it.

I'm sure that there are a million things I'm missing, I've seen some people criticizing this arc and I don't meant the people who hate Nate or attacked Nick Mohammed, I mean the people that don't like the arc itself, I have to be honest, I don't even live in an English speaking country, so I'm sure there are aspects here that are controversial that I can't see simply because I lack the referential stand point for them. But it is not easy to understand those aspects through Tumblr, cause I've seen a post saying "only white people like Nate's arc" and immediately after I saw one of someone that identified themselves as having the same background as Nate saying they loved his arc... so I get REALLY confused! As someone that lives and is from a latin american country, I love Nate's arc!

#ted lasso #nate shelley #and #nick mohammed #has acted his ass off the three seasons!#he is frigging amazing!#ted lasso spoilers

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immaturityofthomasastruc · 11 months

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IOTA Reviews: Perfection

This is another Lila episode, so get ready for dumb writing and lies only an infant would find convincing.

Let's get into the twelfth episode of Miraculous Ladybug's fifth season: Perfection

We start off with a sort of funny scene of Ladybug and Cat Noir doing heroic things while casually discussing the new relationships they're both in, unaware that they're talking about each other. It's less the irony that I like, but just the visuals showing how they're so experienced as superheroes at this point, they can casually chat while saving people.

Of course, even though the last scene confirmed that Marinette and Adrien are officially dating after four and a half seasons, the main conflict for the civilian plotline is that Marinette somehow isn't able to simply tell Adrien that she loves him. So basically, even though they're now in a relationship, the show is still going to rely on Marinette stuttering around Adrien like an idiot. Oh, thank God! I thought the writers were actually going to have Marinette and Adrien talk with each other like humans beings for a second there.

We then get a montage of Marinette struggling to get closer to Adrien, stumbling around and breaking stuff as if she was a character in an infomercial, culminating in a scene where Marinette attempts to confess to a picture of a cow, only to say “I love moo” instead. Get used to her saying this, because it's going to be a running gag.

During the aforementioned montage, we get a decent moment where Lila helps Chloe realize she needs to be more discreet when it comes to screwing with Marinette instead of her usual blunt attitude, which does a good job showing the one thing that sets Chloe and Lila apart: Their approaches to dealing with Marinette. It's not much, but it's something.

Meanwhile, the writers remembered Adrien is a musician, as he wrote a song for Marinette. A bunch of their friends come over to the Liberty, including Kagami.

Adrien: It's great to see you here, Kagami. You get to hear the song I wrote for Marinette.

Kagami: You made your feelings clear and you're dealing with them. That's good. I'm very proud of you.

Man, even the characters are glad the Love Square is finally going somewhere.

After another scene where Marinette once again tries to confess to the picture of a cow (the writers are really running with this gag, aren't they?), Adrien starts to perform the song he wrote for Marinette. Fun Fact: Adrien was originally going to sing a cover of that one song from Miami Connection, but Luka helped convince him that it would be better if he used his own song instead.

As for the song itself? Well, the music itself is nice, but the lyrics? They're decent, showing how Adrien doesn't want anything complex from his relationship with Marinette, but I'm just going to say it: I don't like the way Bryce Papenbrook sings. Like, I don't know how to describe it. It's not awful, but I just don't like the way he delivers the lyrics. He just sounds so monotone when he sings, which makes it hard to take this grand romantic gesture seriously.

Marinette once again struggles to tell Adrien she loves him, so we get even more of Marinette blaming other things for her hesitance, but not before we get more jokes about the cow picture.

Marinette: I'm just grabbing the cow to tell Adrien that I love him because I have the "I love" but not the “moo”. I know it's ridiculous. I'm ridiculous.

You know, at least C.O.W.-Boys of Moo Mesa, a show full of cow puns, actually did more with the jokes instead of just saying the words “cow” and “moo”.

Kagami tries to talk to Marinette, only for her to essentially be ignored. After Marinette transforms into Ladybug as an excuse to get out of there, Kagami then decides to call Lila about Marinette failing some kind of “friendship test”.

Kagami: You were right, Lila. I checked every box on your friendship test. Marinette doesn't consider me her best friend. I'm not even sure she ever considered me a friend.

Lila: Oh, no, Kagami... I'm so sorry she didn't see all the effort you've been making to get closer to her. Someone as amazing as you deserves a more considerate friend and... I'd be honored to be that friend.

youtube

I know I used this clip last time, but this is essentially the same problem I had there. Lila only had a single line in this episode before this scene, and it was her talking to Chloe, and I don't think Lila and Kagami have even shared a scene together before this episode, much less exchange numbers. Yeah, Kagami had been checking off things on a sheet of paper earlier in the episode, but we never got any explanation as to where and when Lila even gave her the friendship test. While we know that Lila's test was obviously fake, it seems out of character for Kagami to be this gullible, given that she was able to easily see through Adrien's lies last season (Lies).

Kagami then decides to just give up on having friends entirely, deleting all of her contacts except her mother's. I'm not sure if it was an animation error, or if the writers forgot, but for some reason, Adrien wasn't listed in there. We then cut to Lila, cutting Marinette's face out of some random pictures she got.

The scene's clearly supposed to be menacing, but I'd be more invested if I actually knew why Lila was so obsessed with Marinette outside of Marinette telling her to stop being a liar.

Kagami goes somewhere so she can be alone where she cries, where Monarch senses this and akumatizes her into Ryukomori through her ring.

Ryukomori's design is simple, but I think the concept behind it and use of Miraculous power makes it work. Monarch gives her the power to make it hard for her to see or hear anyone (insert your own Helen Keller joke here), and thanks to the Dragon Miraculous's Wind/Lightning/Water Dragon, Ryukomori is now a giant cloud person who can shoot lightning. Yeah, you have to wonder why Monarch gave her powers that would make it harder to see people, much less get Ladybug and Cat Noir's Miraculous, but this is the kind of stuff I wanted to see from the Miraculous powers used this season: Past heroes getting akumatized and having perverted versions of the powers they're familiar with.

Adrien sees this and transforms into Cat Noir, meeting up with Ladybug and showing her the friendship test he found earlier. Ladybug and Cat Noir try to talk with Ryukomori, but in her current state, it's hard to talk to her, so they'll need to find a different way to communicate. Ladybug and Cat Noir try arranging some cars into a kanji sign.

Hey, this is a French show! I'm supposed to be seeing french words I don't understand, not Japanese words I don't understand.

Ryukomori ignores the kanji, so now, the two have to come up with another plan while Monarch goads her into trying to kill them so she can finally be alone, whipping up a storm in anger.

Ladybug summons her Lucky Charm, a box of ironing beads, and gets an idea. Cat Noir goes to Socqueline's art shop (because I guess the animators really want to get their money's worth out of this character model and set) for supplies while Ladybug assembles a bunch of her friends and shows her a picture she made using the beads, wanting to make a bigger one for Ryukomori to see by holding up these panels to reveal it.

As simplistic as it is, it's a pretty cute visual, and it does the trick, causing Ryukomori to reject the Akuma. While I guess the Akuma was already de-evilized by Kagami, Ladybug hands her a Magical Charm as the students cheer for her.

Marinette apologizes to Kagami about how insensitive she was, but Kagami explains that she feels pressured to be perfect around others, which is meant to parallel Marinette's anxiety around Adrien. The two make up, and Marinette calls Kagami her best friend alongside Alya. Of course, Marinette somehow never asked about the friendship test, because that would actually clear everything up, and then we wouldn't have Kagami and Lila becoming friends again. Marinette and Alya talk about what exactly is keeping her from getting closer to Adrien, something that they'll figure out together. And so the episode ends with Tomoe storming into Gabriel's office that she endangered her daughter's life by akumatizing her... ignoring the last four times she's been akumatized (Riposte, Heroes' Day, Oni-Chan, Lies). In fact, if she's working with Gabriel, shouldn't she know Kagami was also Ryuko, and—okay, forget it, episode's over.

This episode was very hit or miss. The scenes with Ryukomori were well done. I like the way they called back to earlier episodes and how emotional the memories made Ryukomori, and the overall message of friendship was handled pretty well. But while I really like the way Ryukomori was handled, the road there was a pretty bumpy one. The subplot with Marinette wasn't funny, Adrien's song was really forgettable, and the writers just expect us to assume Kagami would fall for Lila's lies when earlier episodes have shown how perceptive she is. I get that the episode's probably setting up Kagami learning the truth in a later episode, it seems very out of character for her.

Overall, this episode just had a great Akuma fight, and a mediocre first half. Nothing too special, but it's still better than “Illusion” or “Determination”.

THE BIGGEST IDIOT OF THE EPISODE IS... KAGAMI

While Marinette came close thanks for her inability to say three basic words, Kagami ended up taking the award home. Not only did she fall for Lila's lies without even questioning her, she assumed that Marinette didn't care for her in the slightest, and after that, decided she had no other friends, not even Adrien, and after everything that happened, she still chose to believe Lila even though her test ended up being false when earlier episodes showed her being able to see through lies.

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soupthatistohot · 8 months

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an absurdist lens is SUCH a good one to use for bsd i feel like, seeing as how it came about because of the war and so many of bsd's characters were involved in the bsd great war.

what do you think of how the great war in bsd is written looking at it through an absurdist lens

(btw your analyses are so good and interesting i love reading them!!)

Ooh this is a really interesting ask! I'll admit that I don't know much about the great war, but war itself is such an inherently absurd concept. Like, you have some issue with another country/territory, so your conclusion is to start killing each other until one of the parties taps out? It's so weird when you think about it like this.

I think the best thing I can analyze with my current knowledge is Yosano's backstory. Because the soldiers Yosano treated were forced into this never-ending loop of horror and brutality, the war kept going and going, and I think this serves as a commentary on war and its absurdity.

Absurdist storytellers often exaggerate situations that already exist in our real world in order to bring to light just how ridiculous they are. For example, in Kafka's The Metamorphosis, Gregor Samsa wakes up as a gigantic bug, but is more concerned with the fact that he won't be able to attend work and provide for his family than finding an explanation for his circumstances. This is likely commentary on how our capitalist society forces workers to overlook their own physical wellbeing for the sake of attempting to live off of inadequate wages.

In a similar way, Asagiri does this with the concept of war, exaggerating it by forcing this group of soldiers and Yosano into this literal vicious cycle that traumatizes both parties time and time again. Living through the horror of war once is already bad enough, but imagine if you had to do it hundreds of times, wouldn't that be awful? A soldier that's been healed that many times over will have seen many more people die and killed more people than if they just died. Yosano as a nurse has to treat so, so many suffering people, and she's only like 11 at the time. And yet, isn't this what we're doing by forcing generation after generation to fight these wars because of the conflicts we keep making? It makes you question why the idea of a war even exists in the first place.

Even with the current arc we see it. The hunting dogs are military, and they're the villains! Yes, all of them but Fukuchi are misguided, but it's commentary about corruption in systems of power that are supposed to be protecting us. I'd also say Jouno and the satisfaction he derives from torture is probably some sort of commentary on police brutality. Hell, in the latest chapter, we're 30 seconds away from a nuclear warhead destroying Yokohama. If there's one thing that's completely absurd in our modern world, it's nuclear weapons that are literally world-ending.

Anyway! Anon! If you want to tell me more about the war, I'd be happy to try to analyse it based on what information you can give me, but also no pressure. I'm just worried I didn't really answer your question, but I did the best I could! I'm glad you enjoy my silly little rants :)

#bsd absurdism analysis #anon ask #bsd #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs #bsd spoilers

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communistkenobi · 11 months

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Now that Succession is over I’ve been reflecting more and more on the fandom that sprung up around it. When I made this post I had Succession in mind, but it was too large of a sidebar to get into, so now I’m making a separate post.

And before I get into anything, both in anticipation of being yelled at and so I don’t have to constantly inserts caveats into every paragraph: this is not a universal or comprehensive description of how people interact with Succession in a fandom setting online, but rather my experience with it on tumblr and the experience of watching my friends interact with it. Additionally, this diagnosis of a narrow slice of the Succession fandom is not a moral or intellectual damnation of anyone who ships characters or whatever. I am talking to myself publicly on my own blog and this post is a sequel to the post I linked at the top, and so the primary focus of this is going to be about the “methods problem” within fandom that I outlined in that original post. If anything, this is an invitation to reflect on your own experiences and extend/adapt/critique the arguments I’m about to make to your own contexts, not a condemnation of those experiences and contexts. If you feel the urge to say things like “you’re trying to censor me” or “let people have fun” I would rather you not do that because I’ve heard those things hundreds of times already and those complaints are deeply uninteresting. anyway

I think one of Succession’s strengths as a show is that it is a drama about a modern corporate empire that is shown entirely through the eyes of the individual Roy family members. There is a particular, deliberate clash between the intensely intimate drama of Shiv and Tom’s marriage, Kendall’s addiction issues and estrangement from his family, Roman’s sexual and romantic problems, Connor’s loneliness manifesting in him “buying a girlfriend,” and the fact that they are wealthy beyond comprehension. They are so far above material need that the only arena of conflict is their personal lives. This comes to a head in S4, when their father dies and their family drama becomes the primary battleground over who will take the throne. Yes, they are fighting over acquisition deals and legal issues surrounding their father’s company, this is the “material” component that has a direct influence on their wealth, but that is still secondary to their conflict as a family. Kendall and Roman deliberately attempt to sabotage the sale of Waystar, both because of their personal desire to “be the boss” and the constantly-cited desire to “do what our father wanted.” Their primary concerns are always either an attempt to appease their dead dad or their desire to replace him with themselves.

This is the most intensified form of bourgeois interiority in fiction - all material concerns are made invisible, shoved to the side to focus solely on individual emotions and relationships, because the Roys are part of the ruling class. Their material needs will never be part of their problems. The individual landscapes of their emotions, desires, and traumas are the only real site of conflict. The army of servants and underlings beneath them, the public that is only ever at the periphery, are part of the massive social, political and financial scaffolding that allows them the time and freedom to act out these hyper-intense psychodramas with their lovers, friends and family. The character-centric focus of the show is itself a commentary on their wealth - they don’t have to work, they don’t have to worry about money, they don’t even have to interact with public infrastructure, and so they are free to focus entirely on interpersonal turmoil and pleasure. This intense, indulgent look into their personal lives is predicated on their wealth, and highlights how ridiculous and out of touch they are. This is an integral part of how the deeply uncomfortable, second-hand-embarrassment tone of the show is maintained.

But this nuance doesn’t get translated into fandom - or is only translated haphazardly - which is likewise deeply character-centric. As a fan of the show for many years I have largely avoided the Succession “fandom” because of its intense focus on shipping and rooting for your favourite characters to win. This is how you end up with people deeply invested in Roman’s character, running cover and damage control for him as he becomes increasingly openly racist, misogynistic and fascistic as the show goes on. In particular, the way that misogyny in fandom intersects with this character-centric method of engagement is that a lot of apologetic discourse about Shiv is reactive, excusing or rationalising her behaviour to an online crowd who finds fault with her behaviour not because she’s wealthy but because she’s a woman. It’s how you end up watching people online defend the actions of a fictional billionaire girlboss, because the dominant mode of discourse in fandom is focused so heavily on the actions of individual characters that said actions become free-floating, divorced from their context. Shiv is not being defended on the ground of her wealth and power (or not always, lol), nor even really being defended from the fact that those things make her an objectively horrible person, but that popular fandom perception of her boils down to “man what a huge bitch.” It’s not that (necessarily) people want to log onto tumblr to apologise for liking a fictional billionaire - although again, that does happen - it’s that fandom misogyny is so individualistic that Shiv’s actions are always discussed at the lowest rung possible, commonly expressed as “she’s a bitch” or “she’s being unreasonable”, and so that is the discursive arena that discussion about this character remains in, never moving beyond the individual. It reminds me of the backlash against Skylar from Breaking Bad - it was impossible to talk about anything else about her character aside from explaining why she’s not the devil incarnate. Yes there are also unironic fans who love the fact that Shiv is a vaguely progressive rich white woman, those people absolutely exist, but even when you want to approach the show from outside of that uncritical angle, I think you oftentimes get painted into this narrow discursive corner anyway because of how stupid fandom discussion tend to be.

And yes it’s all fictional, it’s not real, and people “blorbofying” a Roy sibling or shipping Kendall and Stewy together are not remotely good indicators of their beliefs about the ruling class in real life. I am not making claims about anyone’s beliefs or political convictions because they enjoy a show about billionaires. I also enjoy the show. But the rhetoric of fandom is so intensely individualistic that “shipping” characters in a show like Succession is seen as a regular thing to do. The easiest way to tell if you’re in a “fandom” on tumblr is to see if people are writing ship fic or drawing shipping fanart. I enjoy Succession a lot and talk about it with friends, but I am not “in the Succession fandom.”

And at least with the people I follow who do engage in Succession “fandom,” there is an intense self-irony on display - people making fancam edits of Gerri, someone who is general counsel to a fictional version of Fox News, or AMVs of Stewy, a hot ruthless venture capitalist. It’s funny precisely because of the dissonance between the use of fandom aesthetic forms (ie fancams) and the subject being fandomised. Embedded into these behaviours is an ironic self-distance, a performance of fandom with a wink to the audience that you don’t actually believe in this, that this is a self-ironic indulgence, a way of articulating sympathy for these fictional characters while maintaining the air of being in-the-know, being a good person who gets what the show is “really” about. And I enjoy that! Those posts rule lol. If anything I am in the meta-fandom, I stay on the periphery with friends to enjoy posts about how stressful shareholder meetings are, to celebrate the tomshiv scorpionmarriage win, to know what the phrase tomstar gregco endgame means.

But that self-irony is only possible to express because of the fact that “doing fandom stuff” with Succession necessarily involves an intense and constant form of apologetics for your favourite character or relationship - it is this assumed, unstated default that this self-irony is engaging with. If you were just talking about the plot of the show or its themes, if you disavowed any desire to ship characters together, if you never got into arguments with people about which Roy sibling “deserves” to be CEO, you would hardly be doing “fandom,” or at least you would be doing it in a fundamentally different way, and crucially you wouldn’t need to be employing that self-ironic tone of “alright now we all know billionaires are bad. But isn’t Roman such a cute little baby? Don’t you just want to hug him?”

I remember a popular sentiment being expressed around when Succession first got popular online, saying that Succession pioneered new ways for people to talk about their favourite characters on the internet. “He’s my Disney Princess” “I want to put him in a Pringles can and shake him” “she is a bug I need to study under a microscope” and so on. And I think this is partially a result of 1) absurdist internet humour in general, 2) a memetic mirroring of the show’s brand of humour specifically, and 3) people’s general political instincts running up against fandom engagement, the desire to engage with Succession as a fandom-text without experiencing intense cognitive dissonance, producing ways of expressing love and enjoyment for characters that are fundamentally, irredeemably bad people, people who are direct reflections of and parallels to the ruling class of modern America. It doesn’t even give you the benefit of historical distance the way a medieval fantasy would, where it’s easier to “stan” a king because it’s taken for granted that everyone here doesn’t support hereditary monarchy. Succession is a direct, immediate commentary on contemporary American life in a way that is impossible to ignore, and so to engage with it on fandom grounds requires a certain kind of additional effort, a way of simultaneously performing your real-world beliefs while also letting loose. I know Succession is not the first show to be like this, nor is it the only thing that has impacted the way fandom operates online, but it has enjoyed a five-year popularity whose digital omnipresence has reached far beyond its immediate audience. Most people on twitter remotely engaged in fandom have seen a Kendall Roy fan edit, for example.

So, all this to say: even when it feels like a text is deliberately choosing a character-centric focus to comment on its themes and structures, I think what happens is that this character-centric lens becomes easily and instantly adopted by fandom, but the commentary gets left behind. Which is again what I meant in that original post I linked at the top - character-centric lenses are not inherently bad, or inferior, or lesser to other lenses, but that fandom only ever engages in a very narrow and particular type of character-centrism, a lens that is so adaptable that you can easily import shipping discourse and “x-character-did-nothing-wrong” style apologetics into a show like Succession. If you engage with Succession primarily as a vector to ship characters together, or to “pick your favourite character,” I think you are falling into this fandom mode. Which I’m not saying is inherently bad, I have also done this with Succession by calling myself a romangirl or whatever, I’m just trying to articulate the whiplash I sometimes get when watching prestige drama television about billionaires being murderers and sex pests and fascists and then going online and seeing hundreds of people expressing a desire to wrap Roman Roy in a little blanket. A lot of people are engaging with the show’s themes and also doing this “fandom” thing with it, so you don’t have to choose one or the other, nor am I saying that there are necessarily “low” and “high” classes of artistic interpretation that people permanently slot themselves into, but I do think these modes of engagement are at some level mutually exclusive, because they require the adoption of fundamentally different interpretive lenses when approaching a text

#succ.txt #fandom discussion

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dr3amofagame · 1 year

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On the note of c!Dream and the Revolution and L’manburg in particular, I actually wanted to touch on another argument that I see sometimes that I’ve been thinking about lately re. L’manburg’s legitimacy. Because among some groups that are more L’manburg-positive, one take that I feel is decently common is the idea that L’manburg couldn’t be a government because it was only four, five, six people, that the size of the group meant that it was functionally incapable of the power attributed to it. In this, the assertion tends to be that because L’manburg is small, the power it holds is meaningless; it doesn’t have the power and provisions backing it that a regular “government” has, so L’manburg is fundamentally no different from a group of friends that believe in the same thing and therefore work together. The argument, here, seems to be that because the power of L’manburg as a government is manufactured, the power doesn’t actually exist in any meaningful way.

And the thing about L’manburg to me is that, well, the power being manufactured is...the point? Like. The whole point is that L’manburg doesn’t actually have jack shit to base itself off of, the whole point is that L’manburg is founded on a lie and writes itself into being treated as a legitimate entity through scapegoating other people in a story. That’s the reason why the mythos exists! The mythos needs to exist because it’s the foundation of L’manburg’s existence. Why does L’manburg exist? Because they were ~fighting against oppression~. Why does c!Wilbur have the power to do X, Y, and Z? Because if you’re opposing him you’re on the side of traitors and tyrants and enemies and get out of his fucking country. Just because L’manburg’s existing as a nation and government and what have you is illogical doesn’t prevent it from being treated as a legitimate country and government etc, because in the end people treated it as legitimate and therefore it had real power not only over its own land, but later on over how the entire server operated--see everyone being swept up in the elections, Manberg vs. Pogtopia, etc.

(What’s especially funny to me about this take is that in a lot of ways, it really reminds me of c!Dream’s opinion of L’manburg during the Revolution. Because while c!Dream definitely saw L’manburg as a threat in terms of the people who were declaring war against him, in terms of the...actual ideology? The whole government thing, “we’re going to be a separate server”? It’s pretty clear that c!Dream thinks that all of that makes NO SENSE WHATSOEVER. He calls L’manburg a “delusional small part” of the server because from his perspective, what the fuck do you MEAN you’re a government now? What do you mean you’re a separate country--scratch that, what do you mean you’re a separate SERVER? Game rules? Whitelist? What the fuck?? You’re a group of people threatening violence because you have a grudge against me, not revolutionaries fighting a nonexistent oppressive rulership like holy shit I’ve NEVER EVEN MET YOU BEFORE? c!Dream approaches L’manburg’s shit as illegitimate and ridiculous and nonsensical from the get go, because yeah, I mean--they’re literally just a small group of people, not the government they claim to be or that they claim they want to form, or whatever. But things...don’t stay that way.)

Like the whole point is that in the end, it doesn’t matter that c!Wilbur shouldn’t have been able to stick a flag in a piece of land, declare it as his own, make all these arbitrary rules about who could or couldn’t go inside and what they had to do and declare himself leader over these people and leverage joining his little club to keep them from opposing him and use all of that to threaten conflict against a guy he literally never even met before. Because...he did! And with the mythos established, no one challenged that. L’manburg’s policies and power and legitimacy and leadership and what the leader could and couldn’t do were all based in literally nothing and that didn’t matter because people acted like it was a real thing, so it became real. c!Dream fighting against L’manburg and discrediting its legitimacy at the beginning is part of what gives L’manburg legitimacy because the revolution ends up being used as the foundational story that made L’manburg a Real Thing. The elections and c!Quackity challenging c!Wilbur by running against him when the elections were originally rigged ends up reinforcing L’manburg’s legitimacy as the elections become a Real Thing and the leader of L’manburg as established by the elections are a Real Thing, etc. As long as people buy into L’manburg, as long as it’s TREATED as a real entity, then it remains real because that’s what people believe (which is part of why doomsday and L’manburg like, dying required the people within it to become disillusioned w/ the country so they didn’t feel inclined to rebuild it again.)

People treated L’manburg as a real entity with real power, which gave it real power over people. Nothing should’ve been in place that allowed c!Wilbur to declare a rigged election, or c!Schlatt to execute the Red Festival, or c!Tubbo to create an extrajudicial army that put c!Phil under house arrest and would extend its influence outside of its own land to kidnap c!Techno’s pet and execute him. The reality of the consequences of L’manburg do not depend on whether or not it should’ve logistically had the power to back up what it was trying to do but whether or not people actually treated it like it did, and they did. Just because L’manburg shouldn’t have been capable of acting like a government doesn’t mean that people didn’t treat it as a government the entire time--from its conception to its death, L’manburg was given a lot of power and influence comparable to that of a government because of what was granted to it that allowed the leader of the faction to do a lot of things without challenge or argument “for the country” both to people within the country’s borders and outside of it, and this very real power and influence wasn’t challenged or disturbed because people believed that it had a right to exist.

YES L’manburg was manufactured! YES that power didn’t make any sense! YES the legitimacy that L’manburg had as a government entity was basically a fucking crapshoot based on jack shit, and yes it had real power anyway. At the end of the day L’manburg was always treated w/ a level of power and legitimacy beyond just being a Group Of People, and therefore that power and legitimacy became real. L’manburg was a government because people treated it as one. L’manburg was powerful and legitimate and free and independent because that’s what the story said, and everyone believed the story, and that’s what’s important moreso than the logic of whether or not it had enough people to actually “be” a government in the first place.

#c!dreamisms #c!dream and the revolution #c!dream #dreblr #lmanburg critical #c!wilbur critical #<- i guess #listen lmanburg was bullshit its power was bullshit and the mythos was bullshit #that doesn't matter #the manufactured nature of lmanburg is the point !!#that's why the mythos of lmanburg was necessary in the first place!#that's what necessitated the tyrant-revolution-hero-and-villain schtick #lmanburg legitimized itself on the back of the story that c!wilbur wrote #anyway this is a mess but yeahhhh fuck lmanburg god bless

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pastelwitchling · 4 months

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Thoughts on Percy Jackson and the Olympians, episode 3:

(Disclaimer: I loved everything about the episode except, mostly, Annabeth herself. So if you're going to get offended because someone doesn't like the same fictional character, because that's what Annabeth is, and if you're going to try to turn the argument into something else, please don't bother reading.)

So. This is a bit difficult because I feel very conflicted/wary about what's to come, mostly because Disney has not been historically good at girl power or badass female characters. Let me just say this; while I used to love the CW's Flash, it quickly went downhill when the Flash took a backseat to his own show for the CW's half-assed "girl power" message. I fear the same might happen here.

Let me be very clear about something. It makes sense why Annabeth would seem like the more formidable opponent at the start of the story. She was more or less that in the first two books because, not only is she the daughter of the goddess of wisdom and battle strategy, but she'd spent a lot of her life training for quests, studying about the gods, and she just knew more than Percy did. I didn't like Movie Annabeth for most of the first film either for the same reasons I'm about to list below, please keep that in mind.

My issue will come here; if Percy starts to take a backseat to his own show just so we can highlight how great and awesome Annabeth is and girl power rules and whatever, I'm going to be very, very miffed. Again, it's fair for me to worry about this now because Disney is all tell and no show when it comes to women. Just like they did with Marvel, just like they did with the most recent Disney Princesses, it's more important to them to show how woke they are instead of caring about the actual stories they tell. And I'm Middle-Eastern, so don't even try any of that self-righteous white woman racial crap with me, okay?

I know I'm saying what a lot of people probably think but aren't allowed to say, but -- call me crazy -- I want the show based on the Percy Jackson books to focus on Percy Jackson. To be honest, I've never loved ANY of Rick Riordan's female characters, save for Ana from Daughter of the Deep, as well as the other female characters in that book, but that's not even in the Percy Jackson world, so it doesn't count. And I ONLY say this now because, again, Disney has SUCKED with their female characters. It's all pandering and nothing but pandering.

The first book especially always frustrated me with the way Grover never really seemed to defend Percy against Annabeth's snobby behavior, so this aligns fine. I'm not really saying anything against the character either (not yet), as this frustration with how unfair and snobby she is towards Percy very much aligns with the book. I guess I was just hoping that since I always hated Annabeth in the books and she was actually likable in the second episode, that maybe the show would be better about her portrayal. I was actually thinking how cute they would be as a couple in the second episode, but now? I'm kind of back where I was with the books, I don't see why she deserves him, not yet.

Much like Grover was in the episode, I was just looking at a lot of her behavior as Really? The guy had NO reason to invite you on this quest, you NEEDED him to pick you, and you still act like he's the idiot for caring about his mom and not knowing anything about this world that he's just found out about, and it's so freaking entitled, I --

I've been part of the Roswell, New Mexico fandom since season 1, and I know just how ridiculous people get when you DARE criticize a character who HAPPENS to be played by a black actress. I don't give a crap. I'm critiquing the CHARACTER here, and I'm disappointed, not with her, but the writing itself. It's too soon to tell, I know, but I do hope Disney is better about Annabeth's character than the books were, because I saw Book Annabeth as rude, selfish, and unfair, it bothered me that everyone in the story still idolized her despite how toxic her behavior was (save for Percy, but just in the beginning, and then he was fine with her hitting him and calling him stupid all the time), and I saw glimpses of that in episode 3, so I'm hoping for better.

Also, that whole, What are you afraid of? conversation felt so weird and forced. They JUST started the quest, Percy is throwing in suggestions, Annabeth treats him like he's stupid for it, and then demands to know why he's scared of who he is, and I'm like ?? What warranted that question? He hasn't used his powers yet, he hasn't refused to use his powers yet or talk about his father or anything, so why would he seem afraid of who he is? It just makes no sense.

Honestly? At this point, I just feel bad for Leah because Annabeth is a very difficult character to make likable in my eyes, and it's made worse when the writing won't allow her to be any better.

Aside from that, I really did love the episode a lot. I wish Grover had done more to defend Percy in the beginning, but he did the same thing in the book and he eventually did step in. Medusa was actually great. I hated the actress's character in the Flash, so I was wary, but she really knocked it out of the park. I love some of the extra details they put in, like Percy giving her a chance because of his mom and kindness (fatal flaw, if you know you know), I LOVED the consensus song, and YES! I was SO worried they wouldn't have Percy send Medusa's head to Olympus, but they did and he was perfect and it was AMAZING! When Annabeth said that what Medusa said isn't what happened, I would've liked an explanation of what actually did happen. Then again, it feels like there's a bit too much exposition already, to be honest. Like there were more creative ways to explain Thalia, there were more creative ways to explain Annabeth and Luke finding camp, and I don't know if it's because I've memorized the books at this point, but it feels like so much of the episode is just dedicated to explaining things that don't really need explanation or could be saved for later to show through flashbacks or something. I don't know, just more creative than standing and sitting there while someone explains everything.

It works great sometimes, like with Sally and Percy, but other moments just feel very... exposition-y.

I love this show. It's the highlight of my week. I maintain that we are getting the best possible adaptation. It's just because I love this story so much and it's so sacred to me that I can't help but critique. I don't think the books are flawless (i.e. the female characters), so it stands to reason that I won't find the show completely flawless either. Is it still sacred to me? Absolutely. Percy Jackson has always been too important not to nitpick, I think.

#percy jackson #percy jackson and the olympians #pjo #anti annabeth chase #i'll put that in #though i don't really think it is #i feel like it's just a critique #but whatever #for the more sensitive lot

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bettsfic · 1 year

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Hello! Betty, can you talk more about your tags in that Baldwin post? It got me really curious. Also, how do you strip a text from yourself, where is the line?

(for context, the post anon is referring to is a james baldwin quote from the paris review art of fiction in response to "as your experience about writing accrues, what would you say increases with knowledge?"

his answer is, "you learn how little you know. it becomes much more difficult because the hardest thing in the world is simplicity. and the most fearful thing, too. it becomes difficult because you have to strip yourself of all your disguises, some of which you didn't know you had. you want to write a sentence as clean as a bone. that is the goal."

to which i then wrote what i can see know are indecipherable tags about the state of contemporary litritchure.)

so what really resonated with me in this quote is "you want to write a sentence as clean as a bone."

a few years ago i wrote a post about how all that matters is the sentence. and i got a bunch of people reblogging it in disagreement: writing is about character, conflict, yadda yadda. but it's just not true. you don't have character and conflict and all those other lovely craft things without the sentence. the sentence is the vehicle for meaning. writing cannot exist otherwise.

the way i interpret "a sentence as clean as a bone" is a sentence that is wholly in service of the narrative. this kind of writing is rare. it requires a lack of ego and an abundance of confidence, which are two things that don't often go hand in hand. it's hard for me to define it, because on the outside it sounds like i'm saying i prize simple sentences, and that's not true. i'm talking about raw sentences. ones that are written almost as if they had no intention to be read. which is ridiculous, because don't writers write to be read?

that's the big conflict. that's my beef. i've been an editor for seven years and i've read hundreds of stories from the slush pile. the prevailing pattern i see in it, and in most contemporary writing, is this underlying falseness. that this thing i'm reading exists only to be published. only to be a line on someone's CV, a clause in an author bio. i also see a lot of writing that asks me to look at the author over the work itself. applaud them for their clever phrasing and textured images and well-deployed rhetorical devices. and for the most part, i do applaud that kind of writing. like all writing, it's hard, and regardless of the intent, i value a punchy sentence. but sometimes it feels a bit like being in the audience of a magic show where i know how all the tricks are done. everyone is oohing and ahhing and i'm sitting there like, but can't you see it's not real? that it's a trick that's been done a million times before?

there's a lot of counterintuitive logic in what i'm saying. almost no one can write without the foresight of a place it might belong. if you write a literary short story, its destiny is a literary magazine. if you write a full-length manuscript, its destiny is a book store. without knowing where something might belong, you have no road to follow. i don't believe there are many writers out there rubbing their greedy hands together and demanding a pulitzer. but i do know that the motivation of write, for every single writer, is complex. it's inherently a drive to externalize that which is internal, and in that process it becomes flawed. it becomes something that begs to be seen. even if you want to be seen, even if you're dying to be seen, there is still always fear there, because the journey from your mind to a reader's is imperfect. what is in your mind fundamentally can't be in someone else's, and so we might be misperceived. the deeper and more cumbersome that fear is, the shallower and more myopic a writer's work becomes.

that's why what baldwin is saying here is something exceptional, and possibly something impossible. who is the writer that doesn't concern themselves with belonging? who doesn't write to be read? it's a paradox.

fanfiction as a genre, by definition, doesn't have this problem. fanfiction is written largely pseudonymously or anonymously. there is no profit. when i read a good fanfic, or even a not so good fanfic, the author is never saying, "look at me!" they're saying, look at this canon text through the lens with which i see it. and that practice is getting very close to what i think baldwin is talking about. closer, at least. i think writing fanfic is an inherently vulnerable process, and that's why i value it so highly.

ultimately, i don't think it's possible to strip a text of yourself. on a baseline cognitive level, language is the shape of our thoughts, and narrative--a sequence of cause and effect--is our primary tool of understanding ourselves and the world. what baldwin is talking about, sentences as clean as a bone, sentences that exist entirely in the service of the narrative, is a nearly unachievable goal. and so i think what he's saying is the opposite of taking yourself out of the work. i think he's saying you have to put yourself in it, wholly and unselfconsciously, the ugliest and truest parts of you, as if the work still exists within you, without the knowledge it might be read.

#writing advice #this is a level of craft theory that is so complicated i have a hard time articulating it #so i hope this makes sense #thanks for the great question anon

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