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chococoveredsmores · 11 months

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Like anything miles 1610. I feel like everyone is writing for miles 42 and forgetting about the og!

midnight cravings - miles morales

SUMMARY: texts at 3am + a mcdonalds notif = a recipe for chaos

WORD COUNT: 561

A/N: i love midnight snacking. mcdonalds always hits harder at 2 in the morning! also sorry i keep writing miles in like situations where he isnt usually 100% Himself (sleepy, sick) so um,.. i will get to a proper one soon

WARNINGS: nothing seriously bad just fluff, food i guess, reader doesn't know miles is spiderman, reader is highkey a simp

"Ugh..." You wake up with a groan, rubbing your eyes and assessing your surroundings. Noticing the still-dark environment surrounding you, you reach out for your phone which was on the bedside table.

2:42 AM. The phone lights blare onto your face, causing you to squint. As you scroll through your notifications, two catch your eye— a text bubble from Miles sent a few minutes ago, and a promo from McDonalds for their new meal.

Miles’ message was rather cryptic, and a normal person wouldn’t understand what “ruawkkekkrkx” meant. But a few months of these kind of typos (which meant Miles was either on patrol or barely awake), and one learns the language.

On the other hand, the McDonalds notif… if it was a propaganda technique, it was definitely working on you. You click on the advertisement, and damn did that chicken burger look good…

You decide to go back to Miles’ text. After opening the app and keyboard, your fingers feel too heavy to type… so you tap on the call button instead.

After exactly three rings, he picks up; in place of his normally spunky voice was a low, raspy one.

“Hey. You good? What’s with the random call?” Damn, his voice was unintentionally sultry as hell. Would it be weird if you started screen recording? He wouldn't know, right?

Ahem. Anyway.

"Oh, I'm fine, a little hungry though. I just didn't wanna type. Um, nice voice by the way." You hear a chuckle through the screen.

"So, you hungry? I mean, I could like, get you a snack or whatever."

"It is literally 3 in the morning right now." Though you expressed disapproval at what he said, your facial muscles tugged into a smile.

"Whatchu want?"

One link to a McDonalds meal later, you're patiently waiting in a now dimly lit room, phone in hand and still in bed. You decide to watch a show while waiting.

You're midway through your show, engrossed in a particular fight scene when you hear your window open with a click. Your fight or flight senses kick in, and you jump out of your bed and grab your phone and lamp (it's the nearest weapon, so...).

You watch as a dark figure comes out of the window in fear, you are ready to swing your lamp and dial your nearest police station when the figure raises both their hands in the air, to signify peace...?

The person pulls up their mask to show their face, one that you'd instantly recognize anywhere.

"Miles!"

You drop everything and sprint to his arms— literally nothing, not even a meteor, could stop you at that moment from wrapping yourself around his lean figure. Miles places his hands on your back, and the two of you relish in each other's presence.

You wish the two of you could stay like that forever, but the enticing smell of a chicken burger and drink eventually draw your attention towards it and you pull away from him.

"Can we talk about how the hell you got to my window with me living in the 21st floor? I seriously thought that the moment you clicked open the window was going to be my last for a few seconds."

Miles smiles and slightly bites his lips, and God forbid the kinds of things you would do for this man.

"Maybe over a chicken burger?"

a/n: to be completely honest i cringed so hard typing this fanfic but i just need to finish it so i hope none of you umm.. feel what im feeling rn at my own writing...

#atsv #across the spiderverse #spiderman: across the spiderverse #itsv #spiderman: into the spiderverse #spiderverse #atsv x reader #miles x reader #miles morales x reader #miles morales x you #miles morales x y/n #miles morales fluff #miles morales imagines #miles 1610

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ganondoodle · 6 months

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Dude I love how you make gods feel like *gods*. One thing I think a lot of people have trouble with is making their deities feel like either A. Non-characters that are just forces of nature, like a hurricane, or B. making them *too* much like regular characters, negating the impression of how powerful they're supposed to be.

In every part of that first Demise vs Hylia fight, it felt like something that would be both awe-inspiring and terrifying to witness, and when you mentioned in that other post how Demise would use his true form to escape a mountain, it gave me mental images of a massive volcano, but simultaneously all the *rage* that would be involved. Like I don't know the context but. Oh boy is Demise probably not going to be happy about getting stuck in a mountain

I just!! It is very early rn and Idk if I'm making a lot of sense but you are *so good at this*

I'll be honest, at first i wondered if this ask was actually meant for me or perhaps got to the wrong person ( i got teary eyed reading this ... multiple times qoq)

ANd yes i agree that often gods tend to be either too distant or too much like a normal character, personally im not a fan of the latter xD

the deities in destiny are supposed to be like a middle ground, the three golden gods are very 'other' while the deities are supposed to be a mix of mortals and gods, not half-gods since they more god than mortal but still with a connection to the world (thats almost the entire reason the gods made them like that, bc the gods themselves cannot walk the worlds they created on their own; the deities are essentially their hand to control the world - which isnt working to well as we see gnvfjdknkdfn)

anyway, waht i mean is ... Thank you??!! i, sometimes get so lost in self doubt and how others do similar concepts just wayyy better and like .. idk how to express how this lil ask makes me feel (positively!!!), i always hope i can convey at least a fraction of what i feel writing my stories, which is hard with no movement and no sound, just art, to hear that i am actually somewhat succeeding at it is kinda .. idk, baffling?? i am no good with words myself ;O;

the scene you mentioned is from chapter 3, and i got so motivated by this ask that i had to .. attempt to draw a lil concept of that scene in it, even tho i know its really rough and i hope will get it done better once i get to that chapter .. but its something? ;u;

#ganondoodles answers #zelda #art #its super late and i still gotta do sth for work #but i #had to try and get this doodle out #althought it fails to convey the sheer scale of it i think #i tried #its ok for a 1am attempt drawn in an hour i think #i was told im good at a thing i worry about not being good enough!!!

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saotoru · 6 months

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THE SIZE KINK ASK WAS SO GOOD!!! sadly im 5'10 so he cant tower over me like i want him to 😣 i think he'd be so embarrassed if like. he had a partner that if they wore heels they'd be taller than him... that hc might be a little self indulgent though LOL.

i do love the idea of (literally) looking down on leon especially because he wants to be the man of the relationship!!! he'd be so embarrassed to look up to you!! like imagine him on his knees- you're caressing his cheek lovingly but you bring your thumb up to his lips so he can suck on it. after admiring him for little, your spit-covered thumb moves to his lips, coating them. you tell him so sweetly to open his mouth and he obliges immediately. he wasn't expecting for you to spit in his mouth, though. he's flabbergasted and the blush deepens on his face but his dick throbs in his slacks <3 and when you tell him to swallow and beg for more.... Yeah.

(also i totally get the not writing thing like wdym i havent posted in two weeks?!?! wdym i have like 3 unfinished drabbles in my docs rn!?!)

YOURE 510??? NAUR WAY kindly squish me like a tiny bug beneath your boot please 🥹🥹

AND OKAY the scenes in re4r where he’s knocked to the ground like a loser like ,,, he just looks pretty beneath you. if he’s being bratty (vendetta, di, 6), he acts pouty–eyebrows furrowed, scowling, trying so hard to pretend like there isnt a bulge in his pants just from seeing you hover over him. it’s the anticipation of what you’re going to do to him, and the fact he won’t say no to any of it <3 not even when you force his jaw open and dribble a glob of spit into his mouth!! he’ll glare at you, but will close his mouth and swallow regardless, maybe even stick his tongue out to silently ask for more :(

he also wants his mouth fingered too I KNOW IT!! moans around your fingers prodding on the back of his tongue like he wasn’t just embarrassed to be on his knees for you like this </3 now he’s sucking your fingers like it’s cock. no more glare–his eyes are fluttered shut and he’s moaning like it feels good, but it’s really cuz he’s a whore with an oral fixation and obsessed with you <333

(and no because what is even a wip anymore ??? and when was the last time i posted something in the tags ??? nothing is getting written till 2024)

#kit tag #special kit tag <3 #TALL PEOPLE R SO COOL CRIES #no wonder you are…… so cool kit……..#also #ILY <33333 #I HAVE LIKE 3 SEPADATE KIT TAGS i need to make this the main one

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matoitech · 1 year

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ok uhh okay. spiderverse 2 thoughts. in bullet points for the sake of my churning brain cuz im just not rly sure how i feel abt it rn. like it was a good movie? i enjoyed it it was fast paced i didnt realize 2+ hours went by which also segues into my first thought but like. yeah i have thoughts.

first of all that was like a super weird ending decision to make it a part 1 of 2. zero warning for that. and i sat in that theater till credits bcuz i genuinely thought i was being punked and the movie was going to finish, bcuz it did not at all feel like a place to stop for the movie. it ends like right before the climax?? yes they really. extended themselves damn far for this one and it would be a lot to tie up in like another 45 minutes of movie but also like you couldve done it.. i really dont. understand. like ppl just sat in the movie theater like wait is it done. theyre ending it here? for real? like it wasnt the kind of ending you expect from this movie

animation was obviously gorgeous and insane i dont even need to talk about what eye candy it was. the different styles all together the fight scenes ugh so good yeah yeah everyone knew it would be a trip

rly cannot stress enough what a Direction this sure was. i dont like say it as crit necessarily just like. did they over extend. maybe. they sure Extended. i would expect this maybe for a third movie not a second but they were clearly trying to blow the first one out of the water. it was just.. a lot looser. it needed to be tighter. i dont know what theyre planning for the 3rd movie but i really did not like. vibe with that ending decision

they changed peni’s design slightly and gave her a cooler mech so thats nice. maybe they listened 2 criticisms abt that

i cant decide how i feel abt a lot of the dialogue tbh it rly wasnt my thing a lot of the time like. the changing writers were kind of.. obvious. and there was a LOT of dialogue bcuz this movies purpose seems to be a very Character Driven story to prepare for the next? like theyre TRYING to say stuff thats for sure. also it was rly quippy in a way that i feel has gotten kind of tired with dialogue writing like SOME dialogue was genuinely funny and good to me like i wouldnt say it was BAD or something (some of it was bad.) it was just.. noticeably different? the tone for this movie was changed from the first which again isnt bad youre telling a different story it was just Different yeah. some things i rly thought couldve been handled like with more subtlety.

i guess we only had one movie with the original cast but some stuff just like i personally was sitting there trying to figure out if it felt in character or not. its rly hard to explain if u havent watched it i think and maybe im just crazy i dunno. im absolutely not opposed to making ur characters fuck up and make mistakes but like. huh. i guess. i would not expect otherwise from gwen bcuz shes a teenager but i was.. surprised that peter was going along with it like ? hes a middle aged man lol he wasnt like taken advantage of or manipulated in any way. not like they were trying to say that w the like spider group anyway, like i dont think they were tryingto say gwen was necessariyl taken advantage of or anything, like they werent trying to make them read as ‘evil’ if anything just like wow these ppl sure have Problems they are going thruogh. but like still? im not invested in peters character even it just felt kind of weird. miles went fucking through it too like jesus christ im still trying to wrap my brain around all this it sure does feel like theyre putting these ppl thru comic book trauma

what i went through emotionally wheni realized they were going to do Dark Miles i dont even mean that as criticism or anything its just a bold move man. buti was sitting there like yeah of course they would. hope they make it work

i dunno i probably have more thoughts im just kind of like sitting here lol like what a weird decision. if they hadnt ended it like that i probably would have my thoughts more tied together bcuz the movie itself wasnt tied up?? so its kind of hard to even like think through everything on one watch

#spiderverse 2 spoilers #itsv 2 spoilers #atsv spoilers #idk what tags ppl use #spiderverse

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localvoidcat · 2 years

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these are so all over the place but. do you think the alts can even coherently communicate with humans like with cesar mimicking his mother's screams do you think he can speak outside of that. does mark's voice just sound like nonsense. can the alts only understand one another. or do you think eventually they learn to talk to humans. or can they talk with people just fine.

when cesar finds mark has he become an alt yet or does he find his best friend's body. if he's dead then how long does he wait, thinking mark is dead before he comes back as an alt, just waiting by his corpse because he doesn't know what else to do. what do you think mark and cesar do after they reunite. do they try to find sarah to make sure she's alright. do they try to speak to her and it goes horribly at first. or do you think they're too scared to talk to her, and instead try to watch over her.

when does thatcher realize that's ruth. what does he do afterwards. does he just. smuggle her to his house. what if he takes her to dave's actually thats really funny there is An Alternate Loose in the Tech Store. evelin starts working there and is like. mr lee why is there a melting woman in the secret basement.

how aware are the alts actualy. in the oneshot w ruth you posted it seemed like she wasn't really aware of how much she was scaring thatcher do they Know.

might send in more if i think of it. but yeah. i am Feeling Things rn.

OOH THESE ARE REALLY GOOD QUESTIONS. ill answer them under the cut

they can communicate! cesar starts being able to speak normally after a while, he starts to gain his voice back eventually. it still sounds wrong though. mark's voice sounds...loud, and crowded, but you can tell what he says if you try hard enough. think about a crowd shouting out song lyrics - you can recognize it sometimes if it's not too jumbled. they can definitely talk to humans! a little too well, perhaps :] <- evil intentions

when cesar finds mark, mark's just woken up. they're terrified of each other, both thinking that the other is the alternate, and it isnt until they stop panicking at the sound of their own voices and the sight of their own bodies that they realize oh shit. that's them. im thinking of writing this scene actually its. argh :( they end up going to sarah, having nowhere else to go, and she understandably doesn't believe it's them. she's younger than her brother which probably makes this suck even more. your older brother got fucking alternate'd!!!! she realizes it is them later, but. well. spoilers ^_^ she does try to make the best of it though. which helps when jonah becomes an alternate much later

when thatcher sees ruth - or more accurately, when ruth finds thatcher and tries to communicate with him - he's horrified. he's already been copied by his own alt, and now something's coming back with her face on it. he refuses to believe anything those things say, and refuses to disgrace her name by calling that thing by it. he realizes too late, and, of course, so does she.

#mad is still very much a thing. they are still alts #mad alternate au #im glad you like it so much!! love these questions

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xherry7816 · 1 year

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holy moly xherry7816 you've reached 50 likes !!!! ive been working on some gi designs for the ninja but ive been struggling to show off their individuality while still looking like their gi but i havent actually looked up reference of gi so in pretty sure that should be the first step.

ok so the au (still unnamed) taking place in a slightly canon divergent season 5 MORRO is currently after the realm crystal in his attempts to bring the PREEMINENT (?) to NINJAGO and like destroy it or whatever, solid stuff. except whats different here is that MORRO does not go and posses LLOYD as his first step because he'd struggle more as a human than if he were a ghost so he and his ghoul gang decide to get the hard stuff out the way, the ninja chasing them to put a stop to him obviously. also in this au NYA is not told by WU that she is the water ninja, instead she receives her awakening when defending one of the team from a ghost and then hes like omg :0 !#!%#!$#??

the au starts off with the mission to retrieve the realm crystal on time (before MORRO) because even if he beats them to everythinf else MORRO cant do anything without the crystal. unfortunately for them !!! MORRO is already a few steps ahead and when they reach the resting place of the FSM they find the ghost, crystal in hand. boom boom battle !! and theyre all fighting anf there are ghosts everywhere (NYA is not here bc remember KAI isnt supposed to know hes the water ninja yet) and MORRO is very clearly goig after LLOYD. wait, ok wait i need to type up my thinking process rn or else it wont make sense when i read everything back bc isnt only a spinjulistu master able to find the tomb,,,,, ermmm OK LLOYD possesion- no i cant do that to him. its an au whatever, so yeah MORRO'S in there crystal in hand going after greenie and KAI kicks in yk the brother stuff so theyr fighting anf stuff and like idk MORRO knocks KAI off his feet anf starts heading towards LLOYD again so as a last ditch effort KAI fires towards MORRO and it hits the crystal aaaa ! even thought i cant possibly imagine the crystal being so weak i can just say the power of love made him stronger bc those tight family bonds (im a sucker 4 found famiky but who isnt these days). and then its kinda like the scene in SONIC PRIME where the prism goes boom !! and theres a shockwave and it looks cool and then u see SONIC traversing through the SHATTERVERSE 4 the first time and then he ends up in NEW YOKE, except its KAI landing in the PRIME EMPIRE CITY with all his friends looking different and jazz. the whole mission is to retrive the realm crystal shards and put them back 2gether so he can get home and finish the fight with MORRO. for the og universe i kinda just imagine time stops so 4 the ninja itd look like KAI disappears for a few moments and then comes right back. as i did mention when i was vaugely describing universe 1 (PRIME EMPIRE divergent i hope im usong that word right btw) KAI doesnt stay long in that universe so just like in SONIC PRIME he will return to some universes, whether on purpose or not, to retrieve the shards

i was wondering if i should write a fanfic bc thats what most people seem 2 do but im not really good with keeping up the motivation to write, i used 2 have a miraculous ninjago crossover on ao3 (literally called miraculous bc im unoriginal) but after like 5 updates i did updates like one every 3 months and then deleted it lol so im probably jist going to let this au die when i get tired of it !!!! tbh i need to rewatch ninjago bc im forgetting all my facts (and a SONIC PRIME rewatch not that i really need to but its very good har har)

btw i hope its obvious that my username was supposed 2 be CHERRY, like my name, but i misspelt it and thought it looked cool.

should i make a tag 4 this au ??? its not really hard 2 find it since its pretty much all i post and i dont even know what 2 call it,,, ill just think abt it 4 now :D

#kai ninjago #lego ninjago #ninjago #ninjago au #ninjago lloyd #nya ninjago #zane ninjago #cole ninjago #jay ninjago #kai smith #morro ninjago #wu ninjago

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monkiebois · 1 year

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I have a question, what do you do when you get stuck with a chapter? I mean you already know what the chapter will be about but you don't know how to express the idea?

(I love your work! Keep up the good work)

Thank you, im so glad you like my stuff!! :DDDDDD

-------------------------------------

maaaaaan

see this is a BIG problem for me.

hell im stuck rn. for multiple reasons and with multiple fics lol. i just havent been able to write in a while for a buttload of reasons i wont get into.

but because this is a big problem for me ive got some advice for u buddy. there are a few things you can do, some is general advice and others is methods i use. note that everyone is different and some methods work well for some and wont work for others.

REST

thats my first piece of advice. dont stress about it. dont beat yourself up bc ur not writing. sometimes inspiration will come and sudddenly your hands will end up moving on thier own. but sometimes you just need the rest. its okay if you spend a day not writing. hell its okay if you spend a WEEK not writing. if your writing something something for you your supposed to enjoy it. this brings me to my next point.

WRITE IT FOR YOU

write it for yourself, especially if its a published work on ao3/wattpad/whatever...

i know it happened to me and tends to happen quite a bit even with my other content. you get too wrapped up in "comments, views, kudos, likes whatever..." your best work comes when you are enjoying what you're making and sometimes when you get too into that mindset suddenly its not fun anymore.

make it for you.

DISCIPLINE

sometimes you rest for too long, sometimes inspiration doesnt come. sometimes youve gotta sit your butt down and make yourself write. do you think its bad? doesnt matter.

whatever you end up writing down on that paper is progress. its a first draft and you can always come back to it later and make it even better then it was.

i know its hard and i really need to expercise this more.

i havent updated on ao3 in a while bc i keep going back to my drafts and think "man.....this is shit" or theres just this feeling like im hitting my head against a wall of bricks expecting it to crumblr for me but nothings happening.

so you really just gotta force youself to write sometimes. and there are some methods i use to help me.

REWRITE THE CHAPTER

yeah. its rough. but sometimes you gotta. what you have isnt working. so you just need to redo everything to get back into the groove. the flow.

i gotta do this with a new chapter im trying to write for longing for more. i already wrote like three thousand words but its not right at all so im redoing the whole thing when i have time.

SKIP THAT BIT

this has actually helped me ALOT.

so bassically if your stuck on a specific part of a chapter.....skip it. just skip it.

when i was writing longing for more the chapter where Mk talks to the lady bone demon in the dining room is one that i usedthis method for.

i wrote the first two paragraphs and then did a little "(they talk blah blah add something about this and then that and dont forget the thing)

and then i wrote the scene where mk escapes and the chase. i wrote that whole scene before i wrote the conversation they have because i had NO idea what to add in that scene. i was stuck. so i just skipped it and when i wrote something i had alot of ideas for i could come back and write that scene later.

and it worked. im really proud of how that scene turned out.

so if you need to just skip it and replace it with a little note (in these things i always forget what they're called) to remind yourself what goes there

MUSIC

Music is my greatest tool to help me write. idk how to explain it cause sometimes what im listening to while writing a scene doesnt make sense.

i think it wasssssss.

i dont remember which scene it was but i remember writing something REALLY sad to "vending machine of love". like gut wrenching sad.

funny stuff.

but yeah, music helps me get in the mood and visualize whats going on.

----------------------

the most important thing here though is enjoy what your doing. dont pressure yourself or just be too hard on yourself in general. cause then its no fun anymore and makes EVERYTHING so much harder.

so have fun, dont worry about other people, dont be hard on yourself. enjoy it.

#ask #shadowdoodles

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nextstopparis · 2 years

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35, 26, 11, 10 for the ask game 😊!

THANK YOU🥹😫🥺❤️❤️❤️

35. What’s your favourite writing rule to smash into smithereens?

THERE ARE RULES??? no jk but i did hve to google bc brain isnt working rn so idk if this is the type u mean, but,,, ok the website im on says avoid parentheses and i use those bastards like theyre air in my lungs omg. FUCK whoever said little to no parentheses me and my homies love parentheses!!!!!

actually that one genuinely offended me wtf,, what do they hve against parentheses… sorry they dont know what fun is, ig? theyre SPECTACULAR for crack fics btw.

26. How do you get into your characters head? How do you get out? Do you ever regret going in there in the first place?

im rlly sorry for being boring but i genuinelh hve no idea,, i think i mostly write in the perspective of characters i already relate to, so mostly i just imagine myself j n their position (n take to account their history ofc) to figure out how theyd respond to situations/what theyd say. mostly i ask myself ‘can you imagine x doing this?’ n if its no then i write sumn else ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

errr i do not regret it bc im not scared of any of them. whatever fucked up shit they think i COULD always make them worse n that gives me the edge<3 (they regret hving me in there?)

11. Do you believe in the old advice to “kill your darlings”? Are you a ruthless darling assassin? What happens to the darlings you murder? Do you have a darling graveyard? Do you grieve?

ehhh im a bit so so abt it tbh. i think it depends on what ur writing for etc etc. sometimes i care more abt the darling than the story as a whole bc its a small lil thing that doesnt NEED the darlings but fuck if i care, u know,,, other times the darling makes it hard to read and confuses even me / makes it impossible for me to continue, so then i do assassinate it remorselessly. if i like them enough the y probs end up in my notes app, of not they are sacrificed and left to the void, im sa d to say. ig the notes app is the graveyard? idont rlly grieve,,

oh well now i feel a bit like a psychopath thnks

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing ever haunted you? What does that mean to you?

yeah. there are definitely things that ive read that i still havent gotten over/lines that wont leavw my head. sometimes its the ending of a story/the plot/a specific scene that makes my stomach churn every time i think abt it, and sometimes its a certain line that makes my head want to explode with how much space it occupies. thats bc theyre lovely or heart wrenching tho. my own writing haunts me when ik its absolute garbage<3 n that happens a lot! which is. great. lol.!

THANK YOU AGAIN FOR THIS:DD❤️❤️🥹

#srry for being . bad at answering . omg #ask

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easily-bullied · 2 years

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foolish

Ok so out of a constant need to preface every action I take with unneeded context so as to protect myself from criticisms I would never receive, I have to say that I don’t know how tumblr works and I don”t know if im going to be using it right but I want a space to write and for reasons I don’t want to look at right now my diary has to be out where anyone could see it even if no one ever does.

Im high. I wonder how many of these I will be writing while high. I hope I dont keep track. I dont want to get more depressed.

I’m feeling listless as usual these days. to set the scene, im a 30 year old trans woman who came out 2 years ago, and in the last year I lost my dog, my girlfriend, my dream home, and my job in that order. So anyways right now it’s been a low season. It’s been a big reset and I had no agency in any of it. In some ways I feel like the last life decision I got to make for myself was coming out. I dont think any of the shit i’ve gone through this year is a repercussion of that decision though. Its a decision that impacts every facet of my life but even with that I think it’s unrelated. hard to separate them though, like if I let my mind wander unchecked it makes a connection and I hate that. It’s not that coming out didnt have some consequences that were difficult or sad, but like I just don’t want to add to the list.

listening to some sad music and writing some emo shit like this is really taking me back. Im so in my head about how old I am right now. it’s fucking me up and it really shouldnt bug me. I should go smoke more.

I didnt smoke more. Wanted to keep you updated.

Anyways, I’m listless. I have big decisions to make but right now I have no wants or motivation. Like obviously Im depressed but still I guess it frightens me that I wont look forward. Focusing on no isnt good either I dont think. My best friend is moving away, I’m just in my apartment all day.

Its honestly funny how much shit I’ve gone through the last little while. Like it sucks in a lot of ways, but also it validates my status as The Main Character, And like FYI it isnt that fun being the main character, But it is funny and it certainly is interesting. Im just worried that after this latest big status quo change, next season is going to be kind of messy. I’m worried that it’s not gonna be the type of show I’m used to. I guess I get to decide what kind of show it is. Thats kind of the big scary thing about it is that I just don’t know where to go from here. You spend like literal decades of your life with only one desire and you withhold it from yourself that whole time and then when you get it you look around and realize that because you fucked around for so long you didnt bother to want any other things for your life. Obsessing over wishing I was a woman, now I am one (always was blah-blah-blah) and its like ok well that was easier than I thought, now what.

Obviously right now theres some ongoing story threads happening but they feel placeholder. The further mending of my relationship with my mom, but thats basically wrapped up at this point. There’s the semi serious fwb situation with a girl from out of town but I don’t see that storyline having legs, if it does I won’t be disappointed I guess, but I would be surprised. It started to quickly after my break up, I think the vulnerability I had at that time lead to the increased intimacy that we have now. And now I’m in an isolating state so I can’t be vulnerable with anyone knew. I had told myself I wanted to enter a hoe phase but it turns out I don’t have that energy rn. Maybe thats depression or being 30 or I just never had that in me.

I just want the next season to be fun, I want it to be fruitful and full of artistry and joy and freedom. Thats where I should be pointing my compass. I’ve been focusing on work and money and that will work itself out. Im white passing, I’ll be fine. Visibly queer I guess, but thats part of the whole thing. I just need to work at a library. All my problems will be solved.

OK I feel better. I’m gonna put this away. thanks

#transfem #first post #diary #lgtbqia+

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hongism · 3 years

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Hyello, okay so. I don't have the emotional energy to take in and discuss everything in that chapter so imma just gush over the info cause I am a ✨whore✨ for world building.

So obviously MOC SPOILER

hi bestie HELLO guess WHO!!! finally ANSWering!!! altho im gonna answer separately and space everything out all Neatly bc im all over the place so strap IN we’re going on an moc RIDE!

THERE'S A WHOLE SIREN COMMUNITY?! AND YN AND IT MUST BE WOOYOUNG WERE FRIENDS? SIRENS HAVE A FULLY FLEDGE COMMUNITY WITH PRIESTS AND SCHOOLS AND MULTUOLE CITIES TO SOME EXTEND??? MAYBE EVEN AN ENTIRE PLANET WITH SIRENS MAYBE THEIR ORIGIN PLANET? HOW MANY TYPES OF SIRENS ARE THERE AND IN THE COMMUNITY HOW DTRICT ARE THE DIFFERENT ROLES?!?! ALSO DOES THE SIREN COMMUNITY ALLOW FOR DIFFERENT TYPES OF SIRENS TO BE TOGETHER? OBVIOUSLY THEY SHOULD BUT ARE THE CHILDREN THEN HYBRID TYPES, LIKE WHEN WE GET BLUED DARK SKIND BABIES OR CAN A SKREN ONLY BE ONE TYPE. WHAT POWERS DO SIRENS HAVE AND DOES THE POWERS REFLECT THEIR PERSONALITY AND DO THE DIFFERENT TYOES LEAN TOWARDS CERTAIN JOBS. LIKE WE JUST LESRNED THE OCEAN GOTTA BE PRIESTS BUT MOON ISNT STRICT WHAT ABOUT FIRE. AND IS YN INSTIC TO PULL OUT A HEART CAUDE HER PERSONALITT, TRSUMA OR IS IT RELATED TO THE MOON. ALSO CAUSE ITS A RED MOON WHICH IS COMMONLY A BLOOD MOON, IS YN THEN A SPECIAL MOON SIREN AND THATS WHY HER POWERS ARE STEONGER OR HER INSTICTS TO USE THEM ARE STORNGER BUT THEN THE MILITARY FUCKED HER UP. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

now this is the thing im biting my tongue on SO HARD bc it’s my favorite aspect of the world building and the universe and everything involved in it bUTIHDFKJG THERS SO MUCH I WANNA SAYYYYYYYYYY in short that one dream sequence holds more hints and information than ANYTHING from previous chapters, i think that it’s probably the MOST IMPORTANT dream to date. while we’ve seen some crazy ones in the past, this one is both the biggest hint and the biggest window into y/n’s past by FARRRR. even tho that whole scene was dialogue i think there’s so much to pick up on from it and so much to see and learn from it and it’s one of my faves bc there’s so much to unpack from it !!

Like yes the story and the development is freaking ✨yes✨ I love it. Genuinely think moc should be released as books. But I just cannot deal with the emotions rn.

But also now all I'm going to be thinking about how many sirens are actually out there. And if yn knew her parents and wasn't just an orphan the military found in the streets... How the fuck did she end up in the military grasps. What happened to her parents what happened to the community, is it still out there? Guess I gotta go back and reread the galaxies and the backstories, obviously I must have missed or have forgotten something. Ugh how the puzzle pieces are puzzling (or something). Moc is a drug and I'm not going sober anytime soon

(obviously you don't have to respond to my questions, this is more just an insight into the spiralling of theories going on in my mind)

releasing moc as books? a dream and a half, i can say that much slkjdlgkjlkf but back to the sirens... how many are out there? we heard early on that hongjoong was looking for ‘the last five’ but then seonghwa debunked that and said that was a mistranslation over time that was passed down and such, but beyond that, we don’t really know much about sirens as a whole? there are some hints in the galaxies and planet descriptions but if that dream sequence is a puzzle, i would say we have a handful of pieces that can be put into place based on what we’ve learned so far!!!!

Okay I lied, I am ready to unpack a little of the ✨emotions✨

When hongjoong explained that hwa tried to stop San only for San to detain him and in a sense make him watch the scene unfold. And then realising hwa had to go through that again, only being even more helpless. I don't doubt hwa loves San, but to see the events happening again, with someone he clearly loves as much as he does yn even if he also loves joong, and to see the desperation and determination must have been just. Horrible. Just absolutely soul breaking horrible. I can imagine him vowing to himself after San that he would never let something like that happen again. That of any of the crew got out of control like that, that he would fight harder to stop them. That he would would do absolutely everything in his power to stop it. And then being helpless as he watched yn do it. Just pure heart wrenching pain. And it must have been beyond terrifying to see someone you love ready and determined to kill themselves partly from rage and partly from desperation. With the backstory, that scene becomes almost as cruel as the warehouse scene with San. The only redeeming quality is no one needing life saving surgery in a time crunch, otherwise they would be the same level of ✨never again✨

honestly i think the two crew members i torture the most are san and hwa bc i just keep putting them thru all this shit and hurting them so much but really this was the defining point of why seonghwa was so afraid. before we kinda just knew he was afraid of yn and hongjoong was mad about it. in this revelation we get to see the source of the trauma and how it was amplified by it being someone he loves as dearly as he loves yn. and for sure when first reading that scene of yn and jisung in the brig, it’s meant to evoke a sense of anger and rage like yn is so angry to a point where she would do this sort of thing, but my hope with that scene was also to show that desperation. that when looking back at it after having already seen the rage and the aftermath, that reading it again shows how desperate and hopeless she was in that moment. which is exactly the same emotion that was evoked back in that warehouse scene with san, except it was relayed differently because the warehouse was a more immediate sense of desperation. this brig scene was meant to emulate that but in a slow burn kinda way where the veil of realization is pulled off after the fact and not in the moment!!!

Just to make sure you don't misunderstand. Those asks were compliments. You are an absolutely incredible writer. And the fact that you aren’t afraid of hurting your characters *cough cough* SHOOTING SAN?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!!!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? *CLEARS THROAT AGRESSIVELY* just makes the story much better. No one gets plot armour, making it more realistic (?) and really draws in the writer and sorta imitates the fear and desperation the characters feel

PLS don’t worry, i live for every moment and i live for these open and raw and genuine conversations i didn’t take any as an insult i PROMISE!! i think part of the nature of this whole trope of space pirates and criminals is that hter is no guarantee of safety! i don’t wanna have to cut corners to make sure everyone stays unharmed and undamaged throughout the story when the nature of the world i’ve built thus far is a wildly dangerous one!!! i always say that i try to be as realistic as i can, all things considered, and i think that’s the biggest thing that adds to the ‘realism’ in my mind so im so happy to hear that you see it and appreciate it and enjoy it!!!

OHOHOHOHOHOH ALSO

YN GRIPPING SOMEONES HEART??? YOU WRITE THAT SO FUCKING WELL. LIKE ENIGUH DETAILS THAT WE KNOW WHATS GOING ON, BUT ALSO NOT SO MANY DETAILS SO IT GETS DETACHWD FROM THE STORY. LIKE THE LACK OF CLEAR SUPER MANY DETAILS REALLY MADE IT THAT *YOU ARE EXPERIENCING THIS, NOT JUST READING IT* LIKE IT MADE IT WAY MORE EMOTIONAL AND OERSONAL AND THE READER REALLY GOT IMMERSED IN THE MOST HORRIBLE WAY THAT KUST MADE IT ALL RHE MORE BETTER. ALSO JOONG AFRAID????? JOONG REALISING HE GOT A FULLY FLEDGED HEART RIPPER SIREN WHO CANT CONTROL HER BODY TO MOVE THROUGH A HARMLESS DOOR BUT CAN DEFINITELY KILL IN A HEARTBEAT (OR TWO 👀) ALSO THE CONTRAST OF REMOVING RHE BLOOD COLOURED WHITE OLASTIC AND HAVING A CLEAN HAND UNDERNWATH. THE SYMBOL OF IT ALSO BEKNG A TRASH CLEANERS SUIT. LIKE SHE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO ACTUALLY USE THE TRASH PROTECTION DUIT FOR ITS INTENDED PURPOSE. ALSO THE OART WHERE SHE SAYS SHES FINE EVEN TJO SHE ISNT. AT FIRST I READ IT AS HER TELLING HERSELF TO LIE BUT THEN I REALISED ITS HER ADMITTING SHE VERY MUCH ISNT. AND SAN NOT KNOWING???? AND KISSING HER HAND AND UGH AND SEONGHWA KNOWING. I BET HE'S LOWKEY GETTING MORE AND MORE AFRAID OF HER. LIKE YN IS READY TO KILL HERSELF AND ANYONE AROUND HER TO KEEP SAN SAFE. AND SHE INSTICTUALLY GOES FOR THE MODT AGRESSIVE METHOD POSSIBLE. IHHHHHHHHHHHHH I FUCKING LOVE YOU AND YOUR WONDERFUL WTITING AND YOUR TWISTED MIND THAT CAN CREATE ALL THESE FUCKING SCENES THAT GOT ME THUNKING AND FEELING ✨EMOTIONS✨

truly one of the HIGHLIGHTS of the chapter simply bc of how shocking and sudden it is!! for me, that was one of the easiest scenes to write in the chapter, oddly enough? it was something that when it came time to write it, i knew how i wanted it to be and was able to just sit down and write it out the way its written in the final draft of the chapter. i really love playing with those aspects of fiction and storytelling. tangible to a point, without spelling it out. i think it’s obvious that i really love delayed realization in writing, but i really like playing with how the brain processes information and for me personally, i don’t pick up on things right away! i can realize them in a snap or it can take me a bit to go ‘oh god that’s what happened’, and i like playing with that in y/n’s character a LOT.

and in that same vein of thought, there are some layers to that scene as well when compared to the door scene. in the door scene we saw hongjoong clearly tell y/n ‘you need to do this to save san’ yet she wasn’t able to do it despite trying and believing hongjoong. then in the heart scene we saw y/n clearly tell herself ‘you need to do this to save san’ and she did it then. so there’s a lot at play in that parallel alone too. and with that internal monologue she has of im fine vs not fine, then san kissing the hand that touched a literal real actual beating heart for me that was a sort of self indulgent scene and i was really worried about it coming across as too cheesy or something like that, but that is something that’s gonna impact y/n as a character and her relationship with san when they have the conversation of ‘oh hey i put my hand through a man’s chest for you’

i think part of why this chapter was so difficult to construct and write as a whole definitely is because of all the undertones and nuances throughout, and in a lot of ways it’s so so much to even think about that it’s almost too much packed into one chapter alone, but even if you don’t pick up on all the nuances throughout, i’m hoping to revisit them and bring them back around in that delayed realization style again bc that’s one of my favorite things to do ofc :3

#21y redeemed fool #mists of celeste #moc: spoilers #caly answers #sorry i wrote you a whole essay in response oh my god?!??#T_T

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dallonm-archive · 4 years

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hi chloe you prob. will never ever guess who this is because i am so stealthy ™ and very um good?? at impersonating not me,,,, anyway!! spare some himbeau content,,, or you will face pain 🔫🙂 [jk jk i love you + if i hurt you then who I'll give me my daily dose of beaulix content]

omg hello mysterious alnon!!!! oops sorry i mean anon haha.....i have NO idea who you are,,,,,,,but i guess i’ll just have to infodump about beau like this is a character intro post and not an anon answer :/// /j lets talk about (him)beau!!!

(please bare in mind he is v new and i am pantsing this novel so this is a lot of uh.....i THINK moments and just where i am w the development also this isnt a character intro post but im treating it like one except no coherency i am INFODUMPING!!!!)

so i still don’t have a very clear image of him in my head but i want to share this because i made the connection that this is how i see lorna, his mother, in my head when she was younger - around the time she would’ve been in the cult. she is such a warm character to me!!

so lorna was one of the first people to leave the cult, in 1968 (playing with the idea of a group of women leaving at the same time), but she also made sure that she had contacts still within the cult, which meant that people who left after her could contact her, essentially starting a chain which meant that there’s now a group of people that have left that stay in contact with one another (if they choose to). this was really important to her because she sees it as reclaiming the idea of community against the awful thing that brought them together in the first place. she is a queen! shes one of the first people felix visits after he leaves which we see in chapter 2, but i’m excited to see how her role develops further than that.

but onto her son!

beau was born into the cult on june 29, 1965. he’s a summer baby and this is relevant! because lorna got them out of there when he was so young, he has zero recollection of his time there. i think i want part of his arc to explore how he navigates his emotions with that and how they change because at the start, he feels very detached from it and doesn’t really think about it more than Oh So That’s A Thing and admiring his mom’s strength for getting out of that environment. but i think the more he talks to felix (more on that later :)), the more he’ll understand the weight of everything.

i think there’s a perception of beau that he’s had a relatively sheltered life, because of the life he has right now, which is far from the case. i think when it comes to the cult itself, there is an element of being sheltered, but that came from lorna protecting him and makes complete sense? but on a general level, he is definitely not sheltered.

we meet him in chapter two, when he’s 20 and currently studying psychology at college. at this point the novel is in felix’s pov (chapter one is in dorothy’s), and he plays a big role in felix’s arc (more on that later :)), and all of this backstory creates a very interesting dynamic between them. i didn’t intend for them to mirror each other, but felix sort of sees beau as a looking glass to the life he could have had and that is quite difficult for him to navigate. he feels this innate connection to him through them being born in the same place (lorna even has a photo of the two when they were toddlers) but at the same time beau is a complete stranger to him otherwise.

again, he is a new character and i’m pantsing this novel, but i think his arc will explore: queer pride, creating happiness, mental health and the importance of strong relationships

beau is THE sunshine oc. (felix is too but like, it’s hidden shh). he is SO lovely. truly a himbo. he’s super charismatic, loves making friends, very impulsive (or spontaneous, depends on how you look at it), often speaks before he thinks but ultimately has good intentions. he’s also super insightful and really good at emotional support conversations, like he tries really hard to understand what you’re saying the best of his ability - he’s super inspired by his moms loving nature and he wants to help others, but his arc isn’t defined by that. he is also so FUNNY, like i love writing this dude. dream man literally. of course, i want there to be more depth than that, and there definitely is, but this is where we are now and i LOVE him so far

but i have a feeling.....that the alnon wants to hear about him and felix. just a guess!

(i usually dont do pinterest moodboards but i dont have the energy for unsplash’s algorithm rn but anyway, just look at the VIBES)

i really was like felix’s sexuality has nothing to do with his arc even if i don’t think he’s straight and then these two interacted ONCE and were really like no <3 i was doing a sprint with some people from atlas and their chemistry just Happened its like i didnt even know what was happening then i read back and was like

the snippet that ruined my life:

“Or, I mean, we don’t have to go straight there. Have you visited San Francisco before? I can give you the Beau exclusive tour.”

Felix grins and faces him. “The ‘Beau-exclusive tour?”

“Yeah! It’s the Beau tour because I know the best places in the city, not all the boring tourist places. I mean, they’re cool and all, but the secret places are cooler, you know? And it’s exclusive because you’ll be the first one to have taken it.”

“Then how do you know it’ll be a good tour?”

“Because I know I’d be the best tour guide possible.” Beau leans against the doorframe, grin electric. “You down?”

“Just to see if you’re the best tour guide possible.”

i want to make this clear now and ill be talking about this in the update, but church mud still is not a romance story. it never will be. i was very apprehensive about including this into the story because i feel like adding romance into stories that deal with heavy topics like mental health and trauma is a very delicate process and there are very fine lines on both sides of the portrayal (either having a romantic relationship work out or not). i also really don’t know how felix’s sexuality will play a role because his pov was not really set up for it, but i don’t want to just ignore it now that this is a thing? so we’ll see where that goes, again i’m pantsing this novel lol. essentially, this is a big part of felix’s arc, but its not the centre of it. the way i see it right now, is that this relationship wont be a straight forward “we become official and we are a couple and that is happy ending at the end of the book”, but these feelings will be explored and talked about out loud. i also want that exploration to be healthy regardless of that, because we love complex love narratives! i just want to be clear about this since the relationship does deal with two queer man and the last thing i want to do is promise something that the book won’t really give. ultimately, even if its not a traditional romance love story, the bottom line is these two will love each other deeply.

but beau and felix....,,,lovingly named beaulix! (thank you rhys for the best ship name)

they have ruined my LIFE in the last day. i am so obsessed with them. like this wasn’t planned the chemistry and connection is just so ??? NATURAL???

like i said above, beau loves helping people but that won’t be his arc, and i’m very conscious about that here. like i dont want beau just to exist to help felix (especially with sexuality involved). when i say this is new, i literally figured this out yesterday so i’m just letting it go where it wants to go but PLEASE I AM SO OBSESSED

these two are so cute like please.....the beau-exclusive tour PLEASE

literally their first scene together is felix opening up about how he feels like people only see him as a broken ex cult member that needs to be fixed, and beau is like “then we won’t talk about that. besides, i want to know about felix.” i’m literally losing my MINDDDDD hes so cute

felix also tutors beau’s little half-brother, byron, in piano, so he’s gonna be at his house a lot 👁️👄👁️

im very conscious of this post getting super long and also i want to save some of the beaulix talk for when i write the actual update, so let me end this off with these two snippets because i need y’all to appreciate the parallels here:

“Mine’s June 29th. So, I’m like, a real summer baby. No wonder I love the beach and love San Francisco. I was born for it before I was even there.”

Felix is inclined to agree with that. Summers for Felix were never that special; sometimes it was cool evenings, ice cubes, spending the whole day outside; sometimes it was scorching sun and sweat and heat headaches. San Francisco summers sound more exciting; like beach days, heat haze, drunk afternoons. Beau must be summer, Felix thinks.

then we have:

“Seriously though, do you have a favourite?”

Felix has to think about that one. “I think I like spring,” he says. “I don’t hate when it’s cold, but I always liked when you could feel the air slowly warm up.”

Beau nods. “Spring is cute. You should see the city during the spring when all the flowers bloom – you’ll love it.”

haha get it.....beau is summer.......so we’ve established characters as their favourite seasons.......and then beau......beau says...........

in conclusion, we all love beau........and we love beau and felix......i am SO excited to see where his arc and where their relationship goes

#long post #please the way this post is a long ass breakdown #church mud #thank you for enabling this al OSDJFISDFKMSDFJBSDNFKM #PLEASEEE THE BEAU EXCLUSIVE TOUR WILL HAUNT ME FOR LIFE #Anonymous

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seijch · 3 years

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ANNOUNCEMENT: NOT A HELLO, BUT NOT A GOODBYE EITHER

omg hi ... im like . ashamed to come back after saying brief hiatus in october and then disappearing off the face of the earth til FEBRUARY but under the cut i will be explaining myself and the following, if youre interested (and a tl;dr at the very bottom if you don’t wanna scroll thru this obnoxiously long post):

the reason(s) i was gone for so long

what i was doing during that time (its just a personal account yall can scroll past this idrc)

the status of those um . halloween requests

the future of this account

i. so . Hiatus .

i know. i know . i probably mentioned it when i made the announcement post, but my mental health likes to go on one of those rides. yknow the ones where you go like up rlly fast then down maybe and then up then DOWN .... its like that. i needed a break and every time i wanted to come back or thought about it, something would happen and i would get stuck in my own head.

a big reason for getting stuck in my head was (and i hate to admit this ... i hate to admit that i have Insecurities On The Internet) my feelings of inadequacy regarding my writing. i love to plot fics, i love concepts and characters and making little headcanons but i dont ... know if i love writing rn. and i thought for the longest time that like . whatever ill just push thru it its fine ill be fine but it kinda wasnt lmao you can kinda see it in my halloween reqs and what become of them when i get to that but i began to feel like nothing i had put out or would put out would hold up prose wise (and normally i dont feel like this im much more “idc its my life im living it” but thats not a rant for tumblr LMAO). i still feel like that -- like im better as a reader than a writer. but . You Know :-)

tl;dr: mental state go brrrrr

ii. anywhere here’s wonderwall

when i left, i was in a steadily decreasing mental and emotional state, made worse by a situation at work that really was a case of petty jealousy on my end and rlly isnt very consequential now despite how much pain and resentment it gave me when it Was a problem so i wont get into it. the tl;dr of november and december was me using work as an crutch and distraction -- i know my job, i do it well, it helped me not think about my responsibilities and obligations and inadequacies. of course, as the holiday season grew busier n busier i was scheduled so often that i moved 88 or so miles (according to my apple watch, which i ONLY wear at work since im never anywhere else outside my house) and fell into a cycle of showering n sleeping at my house before going back the next day. (theres definitely something to be said abt capitalism and “grind culture” here but once again its not the time or place snsjkdfds)

at the turn of the new year, i happened to remember a birthday card i hadnt filed away for safekeeping from a friend of mine that id been horribly out of touch with til that point. i started crying because i realized how out of touch id been in general up until that point. the month of january was great for me: i was focused, happy, and in a much better place than i had been before. the end of it brought me down focus wise and im hoping that enough time away from my distractions will refocus me bc i ... need it LMAO and though ive burned out from that level of productivity and gotten distracted again im ... trying to stay positive which i think is the most i can do 😁👍🏼

media wise, i got real into stardew valley (but burned out bc i played it extensively as a way to wind down after work), the pokemon platinum romhack renegade platinum (still havent finished it bc of school n i played it w the intent to see if i could nuzlocke it ... bitch its so hard but its so fun bc of it), briefly assassins creed: odyssey (im one of those ppl who completes an entire region before i move to the next so you can tell i burned out of that one + wouldnt have the time to properly devote to it even if i didnt), got back into genshin impact after pulling for xiao (after not touching it for like . months), and danganronpa. yes . danganronpa 😐 i Know. i stopped playing it after the second trial of the first game bc i was so hurt by the outcome and picked it up in late january only to get sucked in (thank god i had the foresight to buy the second and third games during the steam winter sale). rn im at the start of chapter 4 if anyone wants to come in my asks and um . talk to me abt danganronpa

tl;dr: I’m Into Danganronpa Now

iii. you realize halloween was three months ago right

i mentioned this in the first section, but i love to plot things. every request is plotted or at least has a solid foundation. i had fun detailing what concept i wanted to go with considering what i was given, and there were some bangers i might touch up in the future. but heres whats going to happen to the requests themselves:

there are two finished requests. one will be posted tomorrow and the other will be touched up (just bc i finished it doesnt mean its good 🧍‍♂️) and scheduled for next saturday. as for the ones i never got around to ...

i will not be finishing those requests. i hate to be That Person, but i feel like we all expected this 🧍‍♂️ what i will do is post all of my notes for each request in batches -- requests that have an @ to go with them will be mentioned in the post proper, but anon asks will be pictured. (there are some asks that came from blogs who are now deactivated but i wrote down all the prompts and remember most of those askers so ill cross that bridge when i get there) there will most likely be an excerpt or two simply bc i think i mightve written a few plot points or interactions in the form of bullet points. i rlly am sorry about doing this but i remember looking at my notion doc with all the prompts and feeling ... like i wasnt measuring up n it wasnt just to myself or to some intangible concept of “other” id constructed but it was instead to those who requested n actually WANTED to see and hear and read my writing and i ...... im gonna admit thats another big reason i avoided this site.

regardless, youll definitely get what i have (and likely more than just my bullet points and illegible handwriting).

tl;dr: im sorry. what i have in terms of plot, concept, and interaction for every request will be posted, but i cant say ill ever complete them and mean it.

iv. so what now?

well i mean . im not entirely sure how sold i am on haikyuu in the content creation department (as a creator n to a lesser extent, as a consumer). as mentioned previously, its no longer my primary focus. it doesnt mean im not into haikyuu anymore; i have a lot of love for those boys but i cant rlly say im even caught up w recent fandom activity and also havent even finished s4 pt2 LMAO thats on my to do list

and despite all that, i still want to share my plots n concepts and snippets and maybe even fics. it wont happen anytime soon. it might not even happen. but i mean . its better than me saying i wont write ever again shjdkfs but either way ill probably use this blog as a personal blog w the occasional ask game for dialogue prompts (those are always so fun i love making up aus to fit like . the most mundane prompts)

as for my works (past and any potential future), ive opened an ao3 acc here n ill be editing n possibly expanding on my old works to post there. tumblr, to me, is The x reader hub, but i figure more x reader fics on ao3 is never a bad thing.

ill be deleting/posting drafted posts to the queue since they were all meant to be queued anyway as well as (sorry again 🧍‍♂️) deleting or answering asks in the inbox. (moots if you get a notif from me saying i rbed your post from months ago ... mind your business) im very hard to get ahold of and its ... a problem. expect an overhaul of the nav n shit to reflect my new direction n also because i feel like i cant tell if my passion for carrd is shared by the majority HSDKLFS maybe its better to read my info in a normal post ykwim .......

and of course . if youve read all this n decided im no longer worth the follow, i sure as hell cant stop you. thank you for wanting to, at some point, hear what i have to say -- it means more than you think.

tl;dr: writing will be edited and reposted to ao3, this blog will be a personal blog with a hint of writing (sometimes)

the tl;dr to end all tl;drs:

im back! i wont be as active as i used to due to a lessened interest in haikyuu in general, but i have an ao3 acc now where all my past work will be edited, possibly expanded, and reposted. any future work will also find itself there. my halloween requests will be posted in batches as incomplete concepts, plots, and snippets of scenes; i wont be promising to finish any of them.

there are still fic concepts im attached to and want to finish, but i cant promise any more writing on my end. this blog will be a personal blog with maybe writing, not a writing blog with my personal thoughts all over it.

regardless if you stick around or not, its been crazy sexy cool (equal emphasis) being on haikyuu tumblr even tho i wasnt around for long ... even tho its not my main focus anymore, im still excited to see what the future might hold 🤝

love, ari 💌

#did i have an announcement tag #announcement #also regarding work hsjkdfsd the company i work for didnt give my location the opening for the full time position i wanted #my managers all agree id be promoted if we had it but we dont so i . hee .#anyway um i hope everyones doing well #some of my moots changed urls while i was away and now i have no idea who anyone is #its like when you see your familys friends and theyre like omg youre so big now! i remember when you were a baby and youre like 🧍‍♂️#and you have to play along bc apparently they remember you hskdfsd #im not very funny in this post but i figured id rather be honest considering my lengthy absence #consider this my comeback stage

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sleevesareforlosers · 3 years

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1 4 and 18!!

1) is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason?

oh, god, yeah. like so many. mostly bc of like. time/energy constraints (i know two of these would be big multichaps and thats SUCH a daunting prospect for me rn) but anyway. abbreviated list of things i keep meaning to write:

- newsie/chimp centric twitterverse followup (but a prequel, actually i think)

- android au how kobra joined the crew

- comics-era the girl through cherris eyes

- postcomics a) vaya and the girls mom meeting/hanging out (ive got a bit done of this but like. not even a full scene) and b) exploration of vamos like, healing and stuff and c) something vinylocity that um. isnt minors dni

- more with angie, just in general. probably something between sing and the comics

- also more with mad gear, like backstory/early mgatmk days/deeper exploration of zone culture by virtue of him being a zones cultural icon

- just-out-of-the-city venom sibs and jet (but this one is also hard to write bc like. kobra is literally fourteen and he does a lot of unhealthy shit and itd be a hard one to navigate safely)

4) favorite character you’ve written

i feel like the obvious answer is kobra but honestly vaya and mads have such cool voices in my mind and theres a few ocs that idk. i never really plan on doing anything with them but they are neat! king mohilla. somethin about him aint right!

18) were there any works you read that affected you so much that it influenced your writing style? what were they?

oh its SO deeply embarrassing but there was this one fic i read a Lot when i was like. so mentally ill in high school and i tried to reread it the other day and had to stop because it was like. exactly the same kind of sentence structure i use when i write. literally terrifying. im not saying the title but i prommy its not like. infamous or freak shit or anything its just embarrassing

theres also things that like. didnt necessarily influence my writing style in a technical way but more in a like "laid the groundwork for settings that i like to write in" way by which i mean: media that fueled my fixation on the desert and thats like. ari and dante, spirit, the third percy jackson book, a fair amount of the killers nd patd (unfortunately), the x files, star wars, stargirl, night vale, the days of anna madrigal

also lets toss in lord of the rings bc fuck if i dont love the kind of love they all had for each other

send writing asks!

#ask games #paralytic-states #ty pen!!!

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mousehole5000 · 4 years

Text

tgcf chapters 107 - 120 this is one where i give some Opinions. i do overall like hualian a lot but i have some quibbles

wait why am i still taking screenshots? i can copy/paste again afskldfjasad

It really was hard to tell whether people would feel happy after watching such performances. However, in truth, slaughter and the sight of blood did create excitement in people. Whether or not there was fear, after the initial shock was over, a rush of adrenaline would be produced in the heart- me watching horror movies

“Shi Qingxuan said. “Then, Your Highness, Crimson Rain Sought Flower! I order you to—to immediately strip each other’s clothing!” - djslkadjlsd WHY DID HE SPECIFICALLY SAY THEY HAD TO STRIP EACH OTHER THISALSKDJ is this a normal thing is it a wingman attempt what is happening

“I’ll tell you what it is,” he said softly. “To watch with your own eyes your beloved be trampled and ridiculed, yet be unable to do anything. That’s the worst suffering in the world.” ... “Ming Yi asked, “What’s the biggest regret of your life?”- when truth or dare gets a bit too real

On the side, Hua Cheng was still only observing, and was already bored to the point where he’d changed back into his red robes. Then he changed to black robes again. Then to white robes. Almost every time Xie Lian looked back, he would be donning a different appearance, and with every new look there were different hairstyles, and different accessories, and different boots, and so on; sometimes playful, sometimes elegant, sometimes deadly, sometimes glamourous. Xie Lian was growing dizzy from all the colours and kept looking back, unable to look away. - THIS ISNT THE TIME HUA CHENG. YOURE PRIMPING. THE WINDMASTER HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED AND YOURE PRIMPING

obsessed with xie lian not being able to figure out to use the windmaster’s fan and just. using it to SMACK

also windmaster??? whats going on??? :( i know some things from spoilers like who is not to be trusted but i really have no clue whats happening rn

anyways back to puqi shrine lets check on those kids also can we PLEASE get some funds for this restoration smh. hua cheng and xie lian doing mundane hard labor together to fulfill prayers.... :pleading:

jailbreak in the heavens 2: dig a tunnel

Sure enough, the moment Ming Yi put pressure on his shovel, a hole opened up before them. With the shovel raised, he burrowed crazily ahead while Shi Qingxuan, in the middle, cheered him on crazily. As the only non-crazy person, Xie Lian brought up the rear. That treasured shovel of the Earth Master was indeed magical, and with only a few strokes, a new tunnel of over ten meters was dug. - anybody remember mulch diggums from the artemis fowl series? this is much more dignified than that but i think this is only the second time ive read a character just starting digging a tunnel as a plot point

okay so much is going on i wish i hadnt spoiled who certain characters actually are for myself but i have no one to blame but me for a) not blacklisting spoilers at all and b) just having a little freefall through the tags. oh well. anyway heavenly college admissions scandal except way worse. the corruption extends to the heavens and the windmaster is having a very bad day

i guess we’re having a high seas adventure now?

im gonna keep it real im getting tired of how often we get told how handsome hua cheng is. i know its all xie lian’s pov and while im not terribly familiar with it i know what genre we’re working with and im assuming thats pretty typical. its something i dont much care for in general and idk maybe it sounds better in the original but ngl its starting to make me roll my eyes. love you goth king but god okay we get it.

i guess what i will say about hualian so far is that overall i like them and i like how they interact in general they have a lot of nice moments and they just genuinely seem to like each other which is really nice to see EXCEPT for when it actually comes to things that could be romantic or sexual which is a shame bc i dont think it has to be like this. again disclaimer that im only reading a translation and dont know everything might not have all the knowledge necessary to accurately criticize etc etc and im assuming a lot of this is expected from the genre (disclaimer to this disclaimer that i cant say that for sure its just based on things ive picked up about the bl genre over the years) but idk like xie lian was so distressed after their underwater kiss scene. it was kind of uncomfortable to read and maybe im being unfair i know his cultivation is based around abstinence or whatever but idk i dont care for it. and that scene alone doesnt have to be a bad thing like idk i guess its his first kiss ever (?) and it would make sense if he feels weird about it but i just have my doubts thats going to be addressed or resolved in a satisfying way. also im like. dude everyone is like centuries old. xie lian’s been on earth for 800 years. has he really never met or heard of a gay person during all this time? maybe he hasnt idk what he got up to yet maybe that’s actually a thing. also same thing with the reactions from the immortals to xie lian in a dress and characters like the windmaster like again you’re all centuries old and its not uncommon to be able to just completely change gender presentation. why are you all weird about a man wearing a woman’s dress? i just feel like that shouldnt be a big deal to these characters idk

also again not going to lie part of this that im not really a big fan of reading romance in general. yes i am reading this book. yes i do read and write a lot of fanfic that includes or centers romance. im multifaceted. but really what im talking about is the like physical side of it and descriptions im extremely picky about it. ill give an example. early on in the torture pit (or whatever it was called i cant remember lol) when xie lian kind of accidentally felt up hua cheng in the dark when he was being carried. i dont think thats a bad thing to have happen between the two romantic leads i think thats fine and good to include that early but i just did not enjoy reading it when it happened idk maybe it was the wording and i do think that moments like these work better in a visual medium. ive definitely read het romance that reads like this and i wasnt a fan of that either lol same with fanfic i get tired when writers go on and on about how hot one characters finds another character. this isnt a huge criticism of it like i said im picky but again like with the way that hua cheng is described it just makes me roll my eyes sorry kings

okay back to the reading. this whole saving the fishermen thing feels like a big set up for something narrative-wise. hua cheng specifically insisted on coming and i know one of the characters involved ends up dying im wondering if thats now it would be a good time tbh if things get just a bit too unfortunate during this heavenly calamity... and the brothers are notably not having a harmonious time... also tho it feels very likely we’ll just have another Hualian Moment (tm)

In such a situation, Pei Ming still acted the same. In the evening, when they rescued a few fishermen girls, so scared their eyes were blurry from tears, he held them in his embrace and soothed them with a gentle voice; a true show of honeyed romance, affectionate and charming. - pei ming please get pickled again.

also its funny that hua cheng is just kinda hanging out and everyone else just has to deal with it

Looking down from above, the entire area was painted in a terrifying black. It was easy to see the collision between the two different-coloured currents. Their fierce battle was what formed this enormous whirlpool. As the eye swallowed the ship whole, the two currents of water separated. However, the battle was far from over. Like two venomous vipers, they continued to snap at each other. Each collision was followed by a mountain of angry waves. - this pretty dope ngl. also love our wind and earth masters just chilling on a shovel i dig it. hehe

Yet, other than discovering Hua Cheng had a fine body, there were no other finds. Xie Lian was at his wit’s end and started to worry. - okay see this one’s funny im just also irritated bc im like WE KNOW!!! WE GET IT HE’S HOT AND XIE LIAN THINKS HE’S HOT OKAY GOT IT

okay kiss #2 again its not the kisses themselves its xie lian’s reaction it just bothers me idk im not saying i need him to be super into it and completely unconflicted about it rn but he’s just so freaked out about it and idk i just dont really like it just feels weird i dont care for that aspect of it. also dude hua cheng is a ghost and he did this exact same thing for you before just chill. i wish instead of xie lian literally running away while screaming that hes sorry he was just like “oh haha youre fine thats cool im gonna go look around the woods i dont feel weird about this at all haha” like idk its kind of funny but when its literally our two romantic leads i just feel like its confusing like it kind of makes me feel like they shouldnt be together if one of them freaks out this much again considering the fact that they are both CENTURIES old. i know i know xie lian is an 800 year old virgin but. he hasn’t been like this about anything else so yeah idk like it still could have been awkward and funny i just dont think it needed to be so :/ that being said it was funny that xie lian was then internally like “oh i did it wrong? perhaps i should ask him for more.. instructions....” if that actually happens i might like it bc it would complete this little watery theme

Before he finished, he immediately remembered. Coffin wood. There were trees here everywhere; and a deceased? There was one right before his eyes. Sure enough, Hua Cheng smiled. “Won’t it be fine once I lie inside? - love that hua cheng just sat on the fact that he can turn anything into a coffin. that would have been really useful information earlier but no he just waited until everyone but xie lian was gone afjaklsdjf

also i do think that oblivious xie lian thinking “wow whoever it is that hua cheng fancies is an idiot for not liking him back theyre totally taking him for granted :/” is kind of funny and sweet. actually the whole conversation they have at the campfire is good and im bookmarking it to think about later

“...You on top and me on the bottom,” Xie Lian replied. “Isn’t top and bottom the same?” Hua Cheng asked. - okay im sorry but. mood whenever theres discourse about top/bottom dynamics for a ship im just like jesus christ i dont care. tbh i rarely read fanfiction if its just sexual and ngl if i see a fic specifically tag characters as top or bottom i wont read it lmfao. especially when people have really strong opinions about this stuff when theres nothing canonical to back it up like headcanon all you want but whenever i see people argue about it im just like no offense but go work out your own sexual issues and dynamics instead of arguing with strangers on the internet about who’s a top and who’s a bottom. sorry to be mean but just thats how i feel lol

this was mostly a ramble with a few excerpts but im getting sleepy im going to TRY to take a break from this for like a day but we’ll see how that goes i do very much want to know what happens. anyway if you read this whole thing hiiiiii sorry for subjecting you to my opinions on top/bottom discourse

#minors dni #reading this is weird its like wow this is pretty great actually im having a blast #and then there's these moments that are like...... hmmmm.#idk they havent been awful i just think theyre :/#still funny tho ill give it that #tgcf liveblog

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