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hergrandplan · 27 days

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Wille's Month 2024 Day 4 ( @youngroyals-events) : Revolution

In cleaning up their home, Simon and Wille find something from their past.

Read below the cut or on ao3 (warning: tooth-rotting fluff. You may want to call your dentist)(1.4k, T)

Their living room is filled with half-empty boxes. Soft pop music plays in the background as they work through the piles of stuff they gathered, both softly humming along, sometimes singing. Sometimes, they chuck something in them without asking the other for a second opinion. Other times, Simon holds something up to get Wille’s approval to throw it out – or (less often) vice versa, when they’re not sure if it should go or not.

In packing for their trip to visit Simon’s family they realized they had a lot of stuff. Like, a lot.

Though their suitcases are barely packed, they decided that now, a few days before their trip, was the perfect time to start decluttering their home (they have a few days left anyways). It turns out two people can accumulate a lot of stuff in five years of living together.

The do realize quickly that Wille is the culprit of why they have so much – Simon has long ago learned to live with the fact that his boyfriend likes to keep everything, like the receipt from the first time they went to the movies together).

It’s a slow but steady process. They have a rhythm, they crack jokes and laugh. They remember too. Now and then they find something that makes them drop everything, letting another 10 or 15 minutes slip by as they flip through another photo album, or they find a notebook from their high school years.

It doesn’t matter that they’re going slow though. They’re happy to reminisce. `

“Oh my god,” Simon suddenly exclaims loudly.

Wille looks up from an old book he’s found to see him holding up a cassette tape.

He thinks he recognizes it instantly, but he still asks to be sure, “is that…?”

Simon nods, giggling almost. “I think so.”

They scramble to find cassette player – another thing they maybe should have got rid of earlier, but now Wille’s all the more glad that they still have it. Maybe, an hour from now when Simon insists on throwing something out Wille wants to keep, he’ll use this as leverage. You never know when we might need it.

Simon puts the cassette in the player. It’s old, it crackles a bit, which is unsurprising. It was already old when Wille gave it to him for his birthday, years ago.

Most people would have made a Spotify playlist, but Wille finds there’s something more romantic about giving an actual physical copy. And so, for his boyfriend’s 17th birthday, he’d given him a mix tape, filled with songs that reminded him of him, but most importantly of them. Of Wille and Simon.

The first song plays – Aaliyah, “At Your Best (You Are Love)”, smooth R&B filling their messy living room, the notes falling and landing and staying in between the boxes.

Wille, filled with the need to take in every little detail of Simon’s being, turns to look at Simon only to find that Simon is already giving all of his attention to him. His gaze so full of love it’s almost overwhelming. Wille doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to it, the way Simon just looks at him. Giving Wille his full attention, his utter devotion.

Then again, he looks at Simon, the exact same way. Even after all these years.

Wille is no longer afraid he’s going to lose any of this, he refuses for that to ever happen, not again, but he still savors every single moment with him, his beautiful boy. He looks and touches and feels, he knows the map of Simon’s body even better than the back of his own hand. The phantom memory of Simon is always at his fingertips when they’re apart, always quick to get back home as soon as possible.

And once again, Wille is filled with the need to take in every little detail of Simon’s being, with the need to never take his eyes off of Simon again.

Wille stands up, offers his hand out to Simon, who takes it without hesitation.

Wille pulls him to his feet, slowly, eyes never leaving Simon’s face. He sees the same question that’s been spinning around his mind reflected in Simon’s eyes – how did they ever get this lucky?

He places his hands on Simon’s hips, pulling him just a bit closer. Simon wraps his arms around Wille’s shoulders and gazes up at him, so lovingly, and Wille stares right back. This, he realizes with a flash, is it. This is the man he’s going to marry.

As Aaliyah sings that there’s no need for make-believe (and Wille, in this moment couldn’t agree more), Simon decides that they are not close enough. He pulls himself closer to Wille, burying his face in the crook of his neck, nosing at the soft skin there. Wille hums, moves his arms up, finds a home for them on Simon’s back, holding him tight.

Their dance turns into a shuffle, both men too tangled in each other to be able to move any more. There, between the boxes and the suitcases and all the evidence of a lifetime spent together, the promise of many more years to come, they hold each other.

The song finishes, the music softly fading away. Wille tilts Simon’s chin up, stares into those dark eyes that he will never get enough of. His heart so full of love that he can’t do anything but catch his lips with his, to feel his body flush against him, ever part touching and connecting, souls intertwined. Right now, he’s sure that their hearts even beat in the same rhythm.

There’s a moment of rest in between songs, as the cassette rolls until it lands on the next one. Wille has forgotten what songs he put on there – it’s been, after all, 10 years since he’s made it.

Then the tape hits the next song. A soft piano sounds. Wille feels Simon go still in his arms, as he too tries to figure out what song is playing. Then, all of a sudden, it’s Simon’s voice that fills up their living room. But the sound doesn’t come from the man standing in his arms – it’s coming from the cassette player.

They look at each other for one, long second as realization sinks in. Then, they break out into a fit of giggles, Simon burying his head again in the crook of Wille’s neck.

The song that’s playing is one very near and dear to Wille’s heart – after all, it’s literally named after him. Well, Simon actually never gave it a name, but he’d titled the file Wille. ‘Wille’s song’ is as close to a title as it gets.

Neither of them has heard this song in years – there was a time when Wille played it to death. When he first received it, and he thought this was the final piece of Simon he’d ever get, the only way he would be able to hear his voice.

Simon’s shoulders shake with laughter as the first chorus start, and Wille only pulls him tighter against him.

“I still can’t believe you put this on there,” Simon groans into his shoulder, his voice muffled. Wille’s sure that if he were to look at him now, he’d see Simon’s cheeks burning in embarrassment.

“I think it’s sweet,” Wille says, barely able to contain his laughter, which only makes Simon groan more.

“It’s so cringe.”

“You were sixteen, of course it’s cringe.” Wille brushes a soft hand through Simon’s curls. “And it convinced me to abdicate so…”

Simon finally looks up at him, indeed with cheeks flushing, but he’s grinning too.

“I guess I did spark a little revolution, huh?”

“At least in my heart.”

Wille leans down to press his forehead against Simon’s. His lips find Simon’s again, soft and warm and right. He smiles with Simon’s lips still on his. Simon moves his hands up to the nape of Wille’s neck, fingers buried in the soft hairs there.

Then Wille says the words he’s said a million times already, words he never tires of saying. That he never tires of hearing either. Because no matter how many times he says them, he never feels like it’s enough to convey what he feels for Simon.

“I love you,” he says softly in the space between them. They stay there, linger there, as Simon’s eyes open to gaze at him.

“I love you too,” he whispers back, and pulls him into another kiss.

#willemonth2024 #young royals #yr fanfic #yr fic #yr fanfiction #young royals fanfiction #young royals fanfic #young royals fic #young royals archive #wilmon #wilmon fanfiction #prince wilhelm #wilhelm eriksson now?#simon eriksson #wille eriksson #wilmon fanfic #yr ficlet #yr drabble #wmday4

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beautifulpersonpeach · 4 months

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I’m relatively new to the fandom and have really enjoyed a lot of your posts… I have a question that I couldn’t quickly find an answer to in searching through your tags…

What’s the deal with streaming? Like, I listen to BTS. I enjoy them a lot, I listen to a pretty even mix of all their albums though I probably like MOTS:7 era the best). Some days I listen to them like all day lol (if I’m cleaning the house or something) and I listen to them a lot in the car or while working. I’ve enjoyed some solo releases more than others so I naturally streamed those more. but like the more I start following accounts on here and on army twt the more confused I get about the intense pressure to stream constantly? I’ve heard that people play certain songs (or albums I guess?) on repeat on mute and/or have dedicated streaming devices they keep going all the time.

Not to be negative or rude at all but like…what? Maybe because I’m new to KPop and have never followed it until BTS but that just sounds so weird and… idk the word, maybe disingenuous? Again I do not mean this as an attack I am just genuinely confused. Wouldn’t BTS themselves want us only to listen if we were actually enjoying it and not out of some competitive attempt to get better ratings? It feels so odd to me, like that is not how I would behave with any other artist that I love. I would only ever listen to them out of a genuine desire to hear their music. But there seems to be so much weird shaming out there for when/if songs are not streamed heavily enough? And for any other artist I would just write that off as a difference in taste among the fandom, but here it’s treated like a personal wrong against the artist…?

But as I say that I’m sure there’s more to it… I have definitely seen people talking about payola or chart manipulation so idk. If I should google this instead, just tell me to, I just have already tried and didn’t find that much clarity, just a bunch of people on quora and Reddit talking about certain songs not getting streamed enough.

Anyways this is super long, sorry if it annoys you. Just thought you seemed knowledgeable and levelheaded enough to ask? Love your posts. All the best.

Ask 2:

Okay wait I’m the anon that just asked about streaming and I went and re-read your post about “inorganic success” — I had read it before but somehow I didn’t put together that the 24-7 streaming is an attempt to combat payola or like go up against it I guess. Okay. That makes more sense. I still feel like there’s a weird focus on charting but I guess if it’s about getting more concert venues and more radio play it makes sense.

You can ignore my last ask then I’m sorry if I’m being dense or something lol.

***

You haven’t at all asked a stupid question. Your confusion is easily explained by you being new to k-pop, and everyone new to this madhouse asks this question eventually. I’ve talked about this before, but can’t find the post for the life of me so I’ll briefly go over it again.

First, you need to understand what k-pop is. K-pop is a system that gamifies music consumption. Competition is something you’ll see in the music industry regardless. Western stans such as Arianators, Barbz, and the Beyhive have organized around streaming goals and efforts for at least 10 years now. But there’s no other music industry that explicitly emphasizes competition among groups and fans, the way the k-pop industry does.

Competition is baked into its DNA:

From the idol training system under agencies with supposed specialities that are treated like warring houses a la Game of Thrones (a mentality created by the Big 3),

to the music shows where fans are encouraged to vote daily and weekly for the best artists and where wins are tied to streaming numbers,

to the highly publicized year-end award show criteria that outline key metrics for wins in streams, sales, and fan votes.

Basically, the k-pop industry creates a clear hierarchy of talent and acclaim for artists in their system, directly stokes fan participation in buying into that hierarchy, and the numbers are the easiest litmus test/short cut to settle the question of who is at the top.

And all of this is served with a cocktail of parasocial delusion and entitlement that has (more easily manipulated) fans thinking their perceived investment into their faves, earns them the right to micromanage their fave idols’ careers. All of this benefits the labels and industry because they’d rather have you more engaged (even if toxically), than not.

Everybody here buys into this system despite what they’ll tell you, some just manage to keep their wits and perspective to prevent getting sucked in, while others fall headfirst into it.

And so, like I said in my ‘inorganic success’ post you referenced, the focus on streaming is part of fans really just playing the game. Excess is something you’ll see on the charts in any case, whether in k-pop or in the West.

The difference with BTS and ARMYs however, is in the why of how the fandom streams. Essentially, you’re more likely to find people just as passionate about the music itself as they are about giving that music its due in hard numbers and consequently, recognition. You’re more likely to find fans like this in the ARMY fandom, than any other, in my opinion. Some people forget that the og ARMYs were k-pop fans first. They were fans who intimately understood how this system worked, they understood why the Big3 maintained dominance in k-pop for literal decades, and they saw the worth in the music BTS made, loved it enough to invest time into the playing the game better than anyone else at the time - pushing BTS from nugu status to where they are now, competing well outside the realm of the k-pop system but in a space that remains complex and highly competitive.

Another aspect that differentiates how ARMYs stream vs other k-pop fandoms, is that due to the sheer size of the fandom in absolute numbers, the average ARMY typically streams less than a typical k-pop stan. Basically, in other fandoms the typical stan has to stream more per person to have even a fraction of the gains seen in the ARMY fandom. ARMYs also aren’t doing anything other fandoms aren’t doing, it’s just that so far, they’re more efficient at it and don’t have to worry too much because BTS makes music that keeps attracting more fans, adding to the size of the fandom. They’ve also generally stayed away from more illegal methods given the intense scrutiny and animosity the fandom has faced for being part of the reason BTS upended the ordained hierarchy in this space. It sounds silly but it’s true.

But that’s only one side of the story. The other side is that in the fandom, everybody here really just does what they want. And many people genuinely enjoy listening to BTS that much and that intensely. Going by personal experience in what I observed before I became ARMY, I noticed that many ARMYs are Type A and organized - people who like and study data. The first time in my life that I saw someone create a spreadsheet for fan theories on a k-pop MV, was when an ARMY made one for I NEED U MV. I’m not sure what it is about BTS, but from the beginning they’ve attracted the sort of fans who genuinely enjoy listening to music often, people who enjoy creating and playing around with playlists, and people who track and measure applicable data. So your assumption that the people who stream like this are people who don’t actually enjoy the music, is wrong. In my opinion. For a lot of ARMYs, streaming and appreciating the music isn’t mutually exclusive.

Personally, I listen to music a lot. And I’ve always been that way, so when I became ARMY, I just sort of naturally fit into that culture. The sort of music BTS makes is a joy to listen to, I play their stuff literally everyday and it feels like the most normal thing in the world for me to sleep to Serendipity sometimes (in my sleep playlist which includes brown noise and rain sounds), or to do laundry to Let Me Know playing, or to drive to UGH and Set Me Free Pt 2 playing. I have multiple accounts because I listen to all kinds of music all the time, and it’s just convenient for me to have things set up such that I can flip on a playlist in every situation I’d want one on.

But like I said, the reality is that everyone in this fandom does what they want. It’s true there are certain people in the fandom who obsess over streaming, these are typically chartmys and akgaes, but most other people stream however they like. Fandom in general is a pressure cooker environment so I don’t blame you for noticing that pressure, but at the end of the day you really should just do what makes the most sense to you.

ARMYs generally recognize the reality of the space they are in, they recognize what it means for BTS, and most simply tweak their normal listening habits to maximize the gain and support to BTS. Plus sometimes it’s fun to play into fandom’s initiatives as a way to connect with other fans (such as in streaming parties).

I ended up rambling but let me know if this answered your question.

#BTS #BTS army #bts fandom #kpop fandom #kpop industry #fandom behaviour #streaming

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barkrry · 1 year

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philophobia - h. styles x 1dbandmember!YN masterlist

Days turned to week turned to months turned to a year. That’s how long it had been since YN had left Harry in the coffee shop. They had had minimal contact, a few texts here and then. Nothing that stood out too much, mostly congratulating each other on new career opportunities that appeared and award shows. A possible, ‘I saw you in London today, you looked busy so didn’t say hi.’ It was… awkward.

Of course, she had dropped a bombshell on him. His manager was the reason they split, but it also wasn’t as black and white as that. There were layers to it. Ones he knew about, and ones he didn’t. But for her, it wasn’t worth going over and over. It would just add to more heartbreak, plus, Harry was now dating another woman.

That’s why it surprised her when she was emailed an audio clip from the man himself.

Sunflower, my eyes want you more than a melody Let me inside, wish I could get to know you Sunflowers sometimes keep it sweet in your memory I was just tongue-tied

Hearing his raw vocals, mixed with an acoustic guitar. It was a healthy outlet, one they both shared. Writing out your feelings, experiences and turning them into something beautiful. Never letting anyone know the true meaning. It was an outlet. It was healthy. That was what they told themselves.

But this was different, this was him sharing with her. This was him telling her that he wanted to know why. And he was telling her in the best way that he knew how.

It was the following week that he was allowing her into his house, if you could call it that, It was bigger than he could ever require. But it hadn’t changed at all since she was last inside. The only things missing were her hoodies and shoes thrown about the place where she would forget.

“I- I spoke to Jeff,” he began, cradling his coffee mug between his hands. Thumb stroking the lip gently, looking at the dark liquid inside. This told her that he was currently working on more music, and made her wonder if that song was going to be on the album. She didn’t ask however. “He was also… confused.”

YN nodded her head, dropping her eyes to her own liquid, made to her own colour preference. Just like he had always done. “He didn’t tell me to break up with you,” she said quietly, her lips rubbing together briefly. “He just told me you’d have a better contract and career if you weren’t tied to me musically,” she added, glancing away at the mess of books on his entertainment system.

“So… why did you break up with me?” Harry asked, his brow furrowed in adorable confusion. There was still a small part of her that wanted to lean in and kiss it away.

A shrug of her shoulders, a sip of her drink. “Because you would be better off, you are better off. I basically did you a favour.”

“You definitely did not,” he pointed out, setting his mug down firmly. “I was- I was fucking heartbroken, YN- I still am!”

“So heartbroken you’ve dated… how many women since?”

Harry’s face fell at the question, his head shaking as he pushed his curls away from his face. “That’s not fair, you know it’s not as easy as that. So fucking cut up over you, of course they had to get me on stunt relationships so it doesn’t look like I’m still singing about you, almost three years after we’ve split.”

“Oh, give it a break! You were not that in love with me,” she shook her head firmly, putting her own mug on the table and standing from her seat. “We were never gonna last after the band split up anyway, you were with me out of convenience.”

“Out of convenience? Is that all I was to you?” His eyes fell, as the sadness wasn’t afraid to show. He had always felt comfortable, safe, around her. Never needing to hide his true emotions, and he wasn’t going to start now.

“That’s all I was to you, Harry. Everyone saw it, they loved to keep reminding me,” she mumbled, rubbing her face with a deep huff. “I never should have come here…”

Harry stood up, looking at her as he sighed deeply. He didn’t say anything, yet neither did she. They just looked at each other, properly taking in all the ways the hiatus, the break up and everything since had changed them. Then…

Neither of them knew who was the first to move, but their lips were touching. Smacking together in the only way they knew how, acting fully on instinct and memory as their hands were working quickly to undress the other. Bodies flush together as her skin slapped against his, as their bodies became one. Sharp, breathless moans escaped her lips, and deep, needy grunts came from him. An act they had performed so many times before, one they knew so perfectly together.

And after, when he was breathless against the sofa, catching his breath after an intense orgasm and she was pulling her own clothes back on, she would glance over her shoulder and whisper something to him.

“This won’t ever happen again.”

#harry styles #harry styles x reader #harry styles x oc #harry styles x ofc #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles imagine #one direction imagine #one direction fanfic #one direction fanfiction #harry #styles #reader

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thesinglesjukebox · 26 days

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HOZIER - "TOO SWEET"

youtube

I believe when that happens you can add something acidic to the dish to balance it out (lemon juice, vinegar, blurbs, etc.)...

[5.15]

Hannah Jocelyn: “Feel It Still” once more, with less feeling! [5]

Leah Isobel: This is not sexy! This is the audio equivalent of that one twig-looking Tumblr daddy dom wearing his uncle's work shirt! This is the most desperate balding guy at the bar hitting on you! He's never taken a sip of straight whiskey without grimacing and his hair grows out in patches! He listens to that first Fleet Foxes record alone in his apartment and cries because he never made it as a cool Brooklyn folkie when that was a viable career path! Get a real job! [2]

Alfred Soto: I have never wanted to smell like a bonfire -- that shit just happens if you're in the woods and the rules allow you to make one -- so I don't know what this purring panderer is on about other than using verbal aikido on his lover. On the other hand, the bass line grooves. That this stew topped the American chart says something about novelty. [5]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: Far too confident in its bassline. It's high in the mix and clearly meant to carry the song, but it's just kind of ugly? At first it's manageable: the arrangement quietly blossoms so that every instrument hangs off it like a flower on a branch. And then it becomes too much: we move from one passage to the next with little care for dynamics, as if all that matters is the dun dun dun, dun dun dun. [3]

Mark Sinker: Pretty grumpy the currently active TayTay energy field is requiring me to pay greater attention than normal to the words in a song (any attention at all): “You treat your mouth as if it’s Heaven’s Gate / The rest of you like you’re the TSA!” Old-times Hozier leant instead into a bunch of the most over-known jazz cuts as a signal-shortcut; better by far to be invoking weirdo space death-cults and oppressive govt security agencies to make yr little point -- you’re hot for a rules-loving gal! proud outlaw that you utterly are! “You can sit in a barrel!’ And OK, the serenely self-absorbed clumsiness is actually the same thing either time, his narcistic unawareness the whole of this vocal, but at least this couplet has the free pass of inadvertent opacity. The Hale-Bopp don’t stop! [4]

Taylor Alatorre: Who wrote these lyrics, the Women's Christian Temperance Union circa 1905? Back then, the narrator of "Too Sweet" would've been a cautionary poster child for the domestic discord caused by excessive drink. But we're in a post-21st Amendment world now, and the more pressing social ill at hand... is that my girl doesn't want to party all the time. It's such a ridiculous premise that it has an unlikely liberatory effect, freeing Hozier from his endemic dourness and letting him play as the lovable asshole, whose assholishness is thankfully of the low-stakes, take-it-or-leave-it kind. The mandatory blues-rock inflections are smoothed out to the point of being rubberized, a snub to purism that proves a suitable match for Hozier's role as the all-too-tamable sort of danger. None of this negates the song's fundamental slightness, but the clever-stupid "TSA" line indicates that slightness might have been what he was aiming for anyway. [6]

Ian Mathers: I mean, obviously it's both fine on its own (if not particularly spectacular) and also weird that this and not "Take Me to Church" is his first #1, but I'm sorry, I just can't get over there being a hit song that finally speaks proudly for those of us that have trouble falling asleep at a so-called "civilized" hour (although honestly even 3 is a bit early, if I really had my druthers). [6]

Harlan Talib Ockey: To be a Hozier fan is to know pain. One set of bonus tracks better than their parent album is a shame. Two is a migraine. Three starts to feel like sabotage, on some level. Is he or his label so averse to rockin’ out that his most interesting, guitar-heavy tracks are almost always relegated to B-sides? Justice for “In the Woods Somewhere”. Whither “Jackboot Jump”, which never even got a studio recording? “Too Sweet” may not have Hozier’s most intricate lyrical storytelling, but it does have a clear narrative, a strong vocal performance, and an infectious bassline. And I feel vindicated seeing one of his lost rock songs succeed, which is the important part. [7]

Nortey Dowuona: Producer Bekon cannot be stopped. He has summoned the power of Sergiu Gherman (Garden (Say It Like Dat)), Peter Gonzales ("Leave") and Chakra, ("Bali"). Now he has notched a number one hit. Bekon is unstoppable right now. Stop playing with his name. [10]

Daniel Monteshenko: "Hell yeah, another smash hit!" - people making playlists for second-rate denim emporiums [3]

Isabel Cole: Is it really so crazy to posit that a song about an unrepentant appreciation for the earthy side of earthly existence should, I don’t know, fuck a little? What’s even the point of a paean to late nights that would slot seamlessly into any coffee shop’s opening hours playlist? Where’s the hunger in this ode to appetites? Where's the life in the call to live? And what in god’s name is that TSA line supposed to mean? I mean, I know, it’s connoting constant vigilance about what’s allowed to enter, but the phrasing calls to mind someone who insists on doing a pat-down before sex. Similarly, the grape line that appears in the final verse suggests that the titular “too sweet” is supposed to convey a certain untouched freshness, or a lack of life experience, but placing it in the chorus right after a line about black coffee sets up an implied contrast that makes the metaphor feel like it’s breaking, because, like, be serious: we all know the my-body-is-a-temple crowd has been off sugar for years. [4]

Katherine St. Asaph: I said last month that this sounded like a Danger Mouse take on "Be My Baby," and I stand by that! You don't have to believe a word of this song to recognize the appeal in that. [6]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: Hozier back to doing what he does best: making songs designed to soundtrack fancams of fictional vampires. [6]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

#hozier #music #music writing #music reviews #music criticism #the singles jukebox #Youtube

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gerogerigaogaigar · 1 year

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Dolly Parton - Coat Of Many Colors

The 70s weren't particularly kind to country music, but Dolly Parton stands out as a shining beacon amidst a fog of mediocrity. The title track is a beautiful story about a mother's love that is apparently a true story from Parton's childhood. From there we immediately get a song where the singer's mother steals her boyfriend. It kinda goes like that, either beautiful sincere tracks like Coat Of Many Colors and Here I Am, or unrelenting savagery like in Traveling Man and If I Lose My Mind. I would never have it any other way. Go off queen.

Tracy Chapman - s/t

Ready for some emotional devastation? This album comes out the gate swinging and doesn't let up. This album's theme is feeling helpless to change your circumstances. Fast Cars is about trying to run away from a toxic environment only to recreate it. Behind The Walls is about being unable to stop domestic abuse even when you know it's happening. Mountains Of Things is about being trapped by commodity fetishism despite knowing it won't help you. In all these songs systems prevent individuals from improving their lives. The message is nothing without the actual substance of the music though, so it's fortunate that Chapman has one of the best and richest voices I've ever heard. And her brand of folk rock is beautifully complimentary. Lefty music doesn't get much better than this.

Bob Dylan - Freewheelin' Bob Dylan

It may be his second album, but this is his real debut. Bob Dylan proved that you could be a shitty singer, mediocre guitarist, and atrocious harmonica player, but if put together the right way then the sum of the parts is worth so much more. Dylan's combination of traditional folksy numbers like Girl From North Country and Don't Think Twice It's All Right are matched with the political statements that made him a counterculture icon. Masters Of War may seem blunt and obvious by today's standards, but it's stark condemnation of war mongering politicians is still pretty brutal. And A Hard Rains A-Gonna Fall is proof of his ability to write lyrics that express abstract feelings rather than direct thoughts.

Herbie Hancock - Head Hunters

I feel like when people think of jazz they don't tend to think of catchy toe tappers. There's an expectation for it to be a fairly serious genre that is hard to "get". Herbie Hancock threw that idea right out the window when he made Head Hunters the most fun jazz album of all time. The funk influences are extremely apparent with each track featuring an extremely punchy drum beat and juicy fucking bass lines that will get permanently stuck in your head. Everyone is nailing it here but obviously Hancock himself is the star player with his electric piano and clavinet solos having the brightest and bubbliest tone I've ever heard and it just cuts through the mix and delivers pure joy to your ears. Without a doubt one of my favorite albums of all time.

Pink Floyd - Piper At The Gates Of Dawn

When I was in high school one of my friends just fucking loved the song Bike and sometimes we would just burst into it whenever or wherever. Like all of walking somewhere and we'd just start up like "IVE GOT A BIKE YOU CAN RIDE IT IF YOU LIKE!" full fucking volume like a bunch of animals. Anyway this album is fanciful as all hell. Gnomes, scarecrows, bikes, kitty cats named Lucifer Sam, and bedtime stories. This album is delightful. It exudes innocent joy like no other album. Songs like Astronomy Domine and Interstellar Overdrive sound spacey not because they sound peaceful like floating in space but explosive like a rocket taking off. Other tracks will sound like campfire songs. It's beautiful. The end of Bike where the album closes out on a disjointed series of cacophonous clanking was my first introduction to noise as music so that song probably ruined me permanently.

Devo - Q: Are We Not Men? A: We Are Devo!

One of the original punk bands even if you wouldn't normally think of them as such. Devo did everything in their power to be weird little freaks. Jerky, stuttery guitars and rigid drum beats all designed to sound as mechanical as possible. It an amazing achievement that is perfectly exemplified by their awkward but brilliant cover of the Rolling Stones' Satisfaction. There's a general sense of 50s rock and roll filtered through the 'came back wrong' trope. The album lumbers along like it's made of de evolved rock music.

Elton John - Honky Château

This is probably Elton John's most cohesive album. The country rock of Tumbleweed Connection meets the dramatic arrangements of Madman Across The Water. John's songwriting partner Bernie Taupin is also at the top of his game on this one. Obviously everyone loves Rocket Man, it's iconic for a reason, by good god is the song I Think I'm Going To Kill Myself funny. I'm serious, this tongue and cheek song about teenage angst is one of the funniest things I've ever heard. I'm kinda blown away at how good Elton John, a British man, is at doing honky tonk and country music too. Too talented of a guy really. Love this album.

#500 album gauntlet #dolly parton #tracy chapman #bob dylan #herbie hancock #pink floyd #devo #elton john #halfway done only 250 more to go

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pinkandgreenarepurpleandyellow · 1 year

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Presenting the project that made me heterophobic:

Yep! I am the dork that painted the masks of our current five boys over the course of three-four days (easier to space than six would be and lets face it, I do not care for kurlzz). I chose the Notes from the Underground masks because I've realized that it's the album that most of my favorite songs thus far come from. I quickly began regretting my decision at the point where I realized exactly how limited my paint options were and how many cool colors I would need. More details for each mask below (going bottom to top).

Danny's mask looks almost nothing like the actual one mostly because I painted the circles first and did not realize the mask was more angular than I initially thought. I also had no gold, so we've got a lovely yellow mixed with tan for the base color. The bullets are rough but also smaller than you'd think and a basic brush set from Michaels does not, as I have learned, have super tiny brushes, so I did the best I could on the casings. I am proud of the fact that I tried to make the rust work as best as I could, and if you look really closely, you can even see the mesh in the eyes (looks a little clearer on the left eye). The smirk is present on the right side and I do think it's decently recognizable.

This one made me cry. Any criticism of the fire around the eyes will be met with the response to suck dick because, to be quite frank, I challenge anyone to do better at 1 am and remain disturbingly proud of them. I'm kinda sad that my green (mixed from blue and yellow, because my budget is two pennies and all previous supplies) dried up early cause I was hoping to get more of the Louis Vuitton-style details, but still pretty damn good. I think the pyramid and the canisters turned out nice. Also, a little bit of a cat-eye shape for the eyeholes and the fire, but that was deliberate and I will not be ashamed of it in my moment of pride (I will undoubtedly feel the shame within five minutes of posting, but that is a problem for future me).

A fun an interesting fact is that this is the second time I've done this particular mask of J3T, and both times I have realized I love doing the butterfly. It's super fun because as long as we get the basic swirls in, it's alright if they don't match length perfectly. The cracks are slightly off because the very first ones were free-handed, but I did my best to get the rest of them proper, and they even work to form the nose. Apparently the orange looks more yellow than I thought.

This one was a welcome relief after crying over the detailing of J-Dog's mask. Again, no metallic colors, so our silver is grey. The little black lines are there to add texture to the edges (as it turns out, none of my brushes added it in a sufficiently noticeable way), and this one looks the cleanest imo.

Last but not least, Charlie's bandanna (sunglasses painted over because, as it turns out, I continue to suck at painting and drawing glasses). The buildings are likely not accurate to the actual picture, but my reference photo did not show the actual city on the bandana so I just did some buildings, a fancy lil' LA and we're calling it an artistic interpretation. Also, check out that S. Coolest S I will ever draw in my life, got it right on the first try.

Anyways sorry that I didn't post this sooner cause I technically finished all of this yesterday evening, I have a flight soon so I am typing this up at 4:30 am at the airport.

(Tagging @vampswillhurtyou and @cutelittlenightmarethings cause both of you said you were interested and I have no idea whether or not this will show up in the main tags.)

Final pic to show what it looks like at a slight distance and with other object to provide scale. Note the paint palette thingy having 3 shades of grey in it because, again, shoestring budget and persistence substitute everything for us.

#anachronistic falsehood/whiskey you follow me so I'm assuming you'll see this drift on your dash without me tagging you #hollywood undead #danny (hu)#jdog #johnny 3 tears #j3t #funnyman #funny man #fm #charlie scene #I will continue to remain overly proud of this for a while #wearing these jeans at the airport rn btw #I am so tired and so awake I slept 2 hours and I have a production meeting tomorrow

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daily-coloring · 5 months

Text

Best of 2023 - Albums

Unbelievable year ... Fallen pop stars are returning, long time not seen artists are turning up in a best possible shape, producers making music under their own names, ... First of all I really enjoyed a few soundtracks this year especially Anthony Willis's Saltburn and Arnaud Rebotini's L'lle Rouge. Surprisingly I listened again on repeat a few DJ mixes too. Danny Tenaglia's new Global Underground was a pure treasure, James Zabiela's home session just made me dance for an hour in the living room, as well as Andy Butler's energetic set did too.

01. Roisin Murphy - Hit Parade - "If Hit Parade isn’t Murphy’s best album, it’s certainly her wildest and weirdest. Nowhere else is the scale of her ambition more evident than on the percussive and atmospheric “Free Will.” Murphy says she doesn’t believe in free will but that you should “just make believe that you can write the play” anyway. It’s yet another indelible statement that couldn’t come from anyone else." - Slant Magazine

02. Rebecca Black - Let Her Burn - "An acceptable stretch of Let Her Burn gives Black a chance to reform a persona she had never had any control over until now. As fundamental a shift as perhaps expected, Black warrants this change of pace but there is something inevitable about how these perspectives are formed and how retaliation to reactionary dogpiling a decade ago comes to the forefront. Working hard and pushing through with this half-hour debut LP is exceptional, with spotty highs and consistently solid mixes that give those electronic undercurrents a beat-worthy working. Destroy Me is a crucial highlight in getting to the core of reinvention but also in engaging with how buoyed Let Her Burn is by how much of an opposition it takes to the early works. Black has let her burn, whatever “her” was. Let Her Burn razes and destroys as much as it can, and it works as a successful, credible debut." - Cult Following

03. Sophie Ellis-Bextor - Hana

04. Clark - Sus Dog

05. Everything But The Girl - Fuse

06. Depeche Mode - Memento Mori

07. Mermaidens - Mermaidens

08. Kesha - Gag Order

09. Anna B Savage - in|FLUX - "So as a follow up to A Common Turn, this does feel like an album where, lyrically and thematically, we are dealing with an artist who has battled some of the previous demons, accepted the daily flux of life, and found a way to focus on the moments when life feels most complete. But in a musical context – Anna also seems to have taken that feeling, that love of contradiction, into the songs. At moments explosively ecstatic, at others wrought with emotion – and filled with influences and sounds from areas not explored on the previous LP – the album brings a bunch of disparate sounds and feelings together to create a powerful and impressive whole. Most impressive of all is the fact that, after an album that sent Picky Bastards into a spin for the whole of 2021, Anna has released something as good if not better." - Picky Bastards

10. HMLTD - The Worm

11. JMSN - Soft Spot

12. Orbital - Optical Delusion - "It’s an album of unlikely collaborations. Day One features the operatic talents of Dina Ipavic, while Are You Alive, sung by Lily Wolter of Penelope Isles, floats into moodier, more analog territory. Best of all are The New Abnormal (Golden Girls’ Kinetic turned inside out) and the anti-gammon state of the nation rant of Dirty Rats." - Record Collector

13. Spelling - SPELLLING & The Mystery School

14. Future Utopia - We Were We Still Are

15. CLT DRP - Nothing Clever, Just Feelings

16. Joy Wellboy - The Ones That Got Away

17. Pierre Rousseau - Twenty - Music for Etudes N°20 - Spring Summer 2022

18. Joyce Muniz - Zeitkapsel

19. Emiliana Torrini & The Colorist Orchestra - Racing The Storm

20. Thomas Azier - The Inventory Of Our Desire

21. Sofia Kourtesis - Madres

22. Not Waving - The Place I've Been Missing

23. Restive Plaggona - Ignis

24. Deichkind - Neues Vom Dauerzustand

25. Daughter - Stereo Mind Game

26. Daði Freyr - I Made an Album

27. Yves Tumor - Praise A Lord Who Chews But Which Does Not Consume; (Or Simply, Hot Between Worlds)

28. Surgeon - Crash Recoil - "Crash Recoil is probably about as close to a live Surgeon record as we’re ever going to get. Child views producing and performing as two disparate disciplines, which they are, and he goes about each in a very different way. This also means it’s about as close to a traditional pop/rock approach to writing and recording as you’re likely to find from an electronic producer, woodshedding tracks on the road and sharpening them to a diamond sheen. More bands and producers should think of adopting the approach as it clearly can yield stunning results, as evidenced by this glorious offering." - Spectrum Culture

29. Duran Duran - DANSE MACABRE

30. When Saints Go Machine - Rosy

31. Young Fathers - Heavy Heavy

32. Maps - Counter Melodies

33. Laurent Garnier - 33 tours et puis s'en vont

34. Benedikt Frey - Fastlane

35. ANOUK - Deena and Jim

36. Anthony Naples - Orbs - "The New York producer once known for muscular house and techno continues to drift into the ether, channeling ’90s chillout and dub techno into his singular vision." - Pitchfork

37. James Holden - Imagine This Is A High Dimensional Space Of All Possibilities

38. Hifi Sean & David McAlmont - Happy Ending

39. Tirzah - trip9love...???

40. Kelela - Raven

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deantheofficial · 1 year

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I'm glad miso said the album is coming soon, that gives us a drop of hope. But Soon might mean a century lol😂. Anyway Instead of complaining about an album that will drop when we least expect it. Let's guess the theme Dean may be going for or what kind of genre. I remember IU said that his album sounds completely different than what he releases. Here is my guesses, His Album won't completely sound different I feel like he is still going to Keep the r&b sound, I think he might add a little bit of beats like hip hop. He may also add some technology sound to his songs or his music video will have something related to that. I mean if we look at his last release Howling, It was a robot dog and in the music video of him singing the last scene his body in half turns into a robot. Dean said that he likes his songs to tell a story, so maybe there is some story to this new release.

So: Still R&b, hip hop beats, technological sound or music video, We could possibly hear him rap too 😯

What are your guesses?

speaking of which, Miso said "soon ........ i think" and i felt so bad, it wasn't very polite or professional to ask her that in the first place. i don't think she knows and i mean, how could she, she's not Dean, she doesn't have to answer for him. sorry, that interview was so abysmal to watch, i had to let it out x_x

anyway iu said that like almost 2 yrs ago so i'm not sure the version she heard is the one we'll get rip it's hard to have specific predictions cause contemporary music doesn't constrict itself to traditional genres i mean all of Dean's music falls under alternative rnb, which is already just a fancy way of saying rnb mixed with anything and everything else you want. but i don't.. i don't think he would make smth completely out of left field. i think Dean has his sound even, tho he's always experimenting and trying different things, there's a certain cohesion in his primary body of work since instagram especially, that i think, i hope, is not gonna be lost

honestly i would love some more soul influences, my favorite songs of his are the ones that are more rnb/soul oriented. i remember back in 2018, he was really into neo soul so i hope some of those inspirations survived. I also love a band music feel so i was very pleased with the instrumentals in the unnamed spoiler song, after all he is surrounded by talented musicians so...

one thing i'll say tho. there better not be a whole bunch of features on that album, with peace and love, we've already got the one justthis song and i know he loves to collab but i'm not here to listen to anybody else other than hyuk sorry. i'm not talking abt his closest collaborators ofc i'm always down for some tabber, some rad museum etc to spice up the mix but like . all the other ppl. i'm good. i want my unadulterated, undiluted dean vocals please and thank you very much

#anonymous

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allamericansbitch · 2 years

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random full collected thoughts on midnights

bejeweled immediately a fav just for the way she says shimmered. it satisfied my brain. also am a sucker for soft cutesy taylor songs i feel like she's gotten better at them!!! like stay stay stay is a target commercial song but gorgeous is camp. anyways

why does her face in that one teaser with the big hair and yellow dress look exactly like her face in the speak now era. and i was thinking about this and i saw her wear the speak now costume and my soul gravitated a lil bit

took me so long that the daughter girl from the anti-hero video was caroline from new girl!!! that was a great casting choice imo

speaking of anti-hero that line about her getting killed for the money in the will is just so funny to me. like did she just make it up and be like oh this is a good line plus it will be a good scene in a mv or did she actually have a dream like that and was like welp. time to write a song about this

cat eye sharp enough to kill a man one of the lyrics that actually made me laugh out loud (plus the dickhead lyric) it's so cringy and taylor that it's funny

actually a lot of lines on the album made me laugh out loud. her songwriting has progressed from really deep and poetic to really deep and poetic but also humor lol how fun

why is hits different a bonus track i need to put it on repeat right this second (i know WHY but like still. seriously. the 2000s romcom vibes are immaculate that's my favorite brand of movies)

not the 70's vibes i was expecting but still! slapped! (also more poppy than i thought but hey i'm not complaining)

i thought it was so interesting that there are parts of songs (samples???) that sound like her past songs! i like how TS10 is kind of like a culminating milestone album type thing idk words anymore

not a thought just 10 for TS10

sorry this was so long lmao i hope you have a wonderful day sarah!!!

best way is to respond in the same format:

it's like you can hear her smile when she says the word shimmer it's so cute i love it to

i think that speak now purple dress pic is for you're on your own kid mv when she's going through her career 1000%

i didnt know that i knew she looked familiar!!

the line basically means that she's afraid she's gonna have a bad relationship with her expended family in the future, and that they'll use her for their own fame and fortune and they dont actually care about her. idk if it's an actual dream she had and she just thought is summed it up well or thought about it while writing.

same that line is a little cringey it's giving 2013 tumblr but the rest of the song has good lines so it's forgivable.

same i love that this album deals with self-reflection but also really shows how trauma and humor can mix really well. karma is a cat. sexy baby. thats hilarious.

yess! i thought the same thing. very early 2000s rom com and i bet it'll be on streaming in like a week but i need it asap get on it swift earn your last name.

yeah a lot of people are mad at her for the aesthetic/sound disconnect but honestly i dont care she looks great and the album sounds good too so. a good photoshoot and vibe is something we have been starved of for so long lol.

yes i think thats so cool. i've seen so many people just forget teh whole concept of the album and are like?? why do these songs sound like other ones?? like it's because she's going back into her career and referencing songs from the times those moments happened helloooo.

10/10 like a goddamn acrobat

#answered #anonymous

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voidcat · 2 years

Text

– a case of bad luck

8. walking after dark

m.list ; prev ; next ; wc: 4.1k

pairing: dazai osamu/gn!reader

song: kill the dj by green day

warning same as last chapter, desensitizing and losing a touch from reality one by one, murder (without explicit details), gun, dazai as a warning on his own (read: creepy-ish behavior continued)

a/n: PHEW! finally got this on out WE ARE BACK FOLKS. anyways the song at the beginning referenced is "nobody" by mitski. as always, lyrics are bold and italic. i hope the pacing of the song matches the scene ehe

You wake up with a new layer of emptiness present to your mind.

Turning back to glance at the other side of the bed, it is disheveled as you usually make it somehow. Jeff sits by his spot as always, still in the cramped little pot, what is he trying to say?

Something eats away at you with a feeling akin to worry. In your mind you can feel a concentrated energy form in your shape and image, its grip tight on your shoulders, shaking you violently. Open your eyes, Open! Open! Open!-

You will it away as if it’s flunked away by a strong gush of wind.

Now that feels a lot better.

Gaze locked on the window only to be met with darkness, you pull a leg under yourself and contemplate for a while.

Going back to sleep hasn’t been the most fruitful option in quite some time and there is too much time at your hands to kill until it’s time to leave.

Getting up from the bed and looking for a fresh set of clothes, you make your way to the bathroom. A bath hot enough to boil you alive may not fix a damned thing but it may just be what you need.

What was that thing they said about lonely people and long showers again?

An empty and cold bed, a cactus once dead and an absent cat– The only things to wait for your arrival nowadays.

Opening the door after what feels like a nice escape for eons, you are met with big wide eyes of your cat, staring at you expectantly. Before you can get a word out, she lets out a loud, demanding meow.

Squeezing your eyes shut at the sudden rise of voice, you walk to your room to start your day.

You have thirty minutes.

The day passes in a bore.

Classes, fake pleasantries, more classes, wait- have you drunk any water?, classes and classes that seem to drag forever. You shouldn’t complain, really, the sun entering the classroom and the exhaustion on top makes it all the easy to daydream of a reality you won’t get to have.

A gentler reality. One where you feel loved, feel wanted- and not for all the wrong reasons, a reality of simply existing, being able to feel anything more than negativity, a reality without that endless pit in your chest, a reality without him in it.

When you get out, you don’t see him anywhere.

The way back home feels lighter for the first time in ages.

The air is somewhat clearer, not burning your nostrils, you find yourself stepping foot into a house that is empty.

Right, they said they’d not be back until night.

Normal people would find that lack of human presence odd, worrying, even.

You realize you don’t even have it in yourself to be disappointed at your lack of reactions.

A day without Dazai and a house all to yourself? This must be your lucky day.

First thing you find yourself doing after settling down is to play music, and sing along without a single care in your body.

Once you pause, eyes locked on the black clothing cast away on the back of your armchair. The inanimate mask stares back at you, scrunching up, you snap your head away, leaving the piece of fabric to stare at your back instead.

One album after another soon turns into mixed songs. And before you know it, a song has been put on repeat.

You can't recall yourself enjoying it to the extent of having it on repeat when you first heard of it.

It’s an interesting song for its simplicity. Once the verse begins, the rest goes with a single word said.

Each time in a different tone, in a different way, the same simple word seems to tell a different thing with each time it has been spoken into the air.

The instruments begin to rise, rise to a peak and the singing takes in, over and over and over.

Time passes before you know it. The sky darkens, the world starts to make way through the door, back into the safe confinements of their house. One hour ends, another begins; the song ends, it starts to repeat.

Long before you know it, your throat dries up, begins to ache– so does your body, your muscles. Vision darkening, brain cloudy, you want a rest, you want a good century’s sleep. To take a break, one too long, one that’s endless, one that will go on forever like a dance in the red shoes, doomed to never end.

And by the time the door creaks open, you’re already on the bed, slumbering away. One attempt of waking you up and a soft nudge to your shoulder, your mother walks away at the lack of reactions.

Should’ve wished for something else, you wonder how often you’ll be thinking that in the future.

An empty stomach yet no hunger, as if while you slept, time had no effect whatsoever.

By the time dazai comes, you are not surprised at all.

No bone in your body to care, nor react, you lie there, as does he, or was this the next day?

Mind is cloudy, time, hazy, ‘what’s the point?’ a piece of you starts to chime.

Days pass in that same routine, of when he dragged you into things you could never imagine yourself to be involved in. wake up, eat, go places, eat again, sleep, repeat, and again and again– like a tasteless song you cannot stop, a tune stuck in your mind that you cannot get out.

It feels hollow, all of it, all of you. An empty shell, carved out but one question takes shape: was there ever something to carve out of you to begin with?

And the more you think, you suspect the answer is ‘no’. What are emotions anyway? Just a bunch of chemicals, surely you possess them, but clearly not the right amount.

An empty space inside where the weeds take root, was it? You’re sure even the weeds inside you have withered away and died already.

A vacant mind, a nonexistent heart, you do not care, not even when the night is hot and you take several layers off.

You do not care when you finally fall asleep or the arm under your head has gone numb. You haven't cared about Dazai in a long time, not actually.

And you certainly wouldn’t care now, were you to be awake when he got in again. The bastard’s probably lonely, you’d think, or desperate to carry out some weird fantasy where he isn’t alone.

And it is true that you don’t, until you do, until you suddenly feel a cold hand over your arm, by your bicep to be exact.

The coldness would come as a rather pleasant feeling on this warm night, were it not beyond intrusive, crossing several unnamed lines.

Was it not for being caught off guard, you’re positive alarm bells would be going off in your head, loud and bright red.

Yet they don’t, it is still blank. Weirded out, yes but that’s about it. Less of a feeling and more of a ‘this is the proper chain of thoughts someone normal would have in a situation such as this.’ your brain conjuring.

A part of you tries to rationalize this, and perhaps it succeeds.

because, despite not having known Dazai Osamu like one would know a person, thus far, he was never this touchy, at least, not when you’re supposedly unconscious. It is only his arm you feel on yourself, not his body or breath. Perhaps he has enough of a respect and regard for you to not make you any more uncomfortable than you already are– one can only hope, even just the idea makes you want to sigh and roll your eyes.

And his arm does feel rather heavy on your body, similar to when someone faints or falls asleep.

What was it called again?– let’s say ‘rigor mortis but not dead’ for now.

Did he sling his arm before falling asleep or was it his body acting on its own? The possibilities of the latter seem rather worse in your eyes somehow– what would that mean about you and him?

It feels odd yet you’re tired, too tired to do anything about this.

If to feel and sleep like someone who is not alone, someone who is normal is what he wants, maybe you’ll allow him for once.

Do not fret for once, pretend this isn’t real, let the night burn away in your mind, perish, push it away like a kid does to crumbs on its clothes.

With the warmth of the night, the flickering lights entering through the window occasionally and the cool feeling his hand provides, you soon find your eyelids heaving.

In the morning, he is nowhere to be seen, as if he never came in the first place; just a figment of your deteriorating mental state, now wouldn’t that be quite ironic?

From how you’ve turned already you cannot tell apart any sign of him in the bed, any part of the sheets out of place.

Yet you do wonder if he woke up in the position.

Picturing a Dazai, eyes lazily fluttering open, only to jump back in place and possibly fall off the bed when the position the two of you were in registers in his mind.

Moving to the side of the bed with your knees, you bend over to glance at the floor.

No signs or imprint of a butt on the floor whatsoever.

Then again, he always left the place the same as before he came, no matter how many items he picked up and pondered over the past nights.

A quick glance at your phone for the day and you make your way to the desk, shoving anything you may need for the day to your bag, just as you turn in spot, the wretched mask looks at you, earning a glare.

Without spending another second in your room, you grab and shove it to the depths of your bag and leave.

In hindsight, it feels stupid.

No, it is stupid, a part of you argues.

Well, at least you do not have to worry about catching some sort of disease, washed up, dolled up and all.

The mask sits crumpled up at the back of the bag, flat against a notebook or two, somewhat customized.

You can only hope like the last few times, Dazai won’t stick around for you to do… whatever it is he asks you to do. If he decides to though, maybe it’s time you look for a song that’ll help you crawl under the earth, maybe open up the soil underneath and bury yourself alive there.

On another hand, it feels somewhat freeing to have made peace with the fact that you do not care.

It surely makes everything much more convenient, easier to navigate, easier to carry through with the tasks.

Why should you care after all? About men who are in deep with crimes and whatnot. Why should you care if it is you who punishes them for all the misdeeds they have done?

If anything, you have a family to care about, they are not your responsibility.

The possibility of some being involved in this …line of job stops crossing your mind the moment you remember how they gaze at you, eyes glinting for all the wrong reasons, licking their lips, saying all the vile and vulgar things they could with the few neurons they possess.

If anything, you are doing everyone a favor, maybe cleaning the city, even–

Okay, let’s not get ahead of ourselves, plus, it’s not like you ever cared about this noisy city to begin with.

The evenings go without a hitch, the nights go without an event– then again, you have lost your old sense of normalcy for a while now.

It’s almost funny how quickly he has become a part of your routine.

Another particular night that feels too hot for the season, the weight dropped on the bed, a breath in, a breath out, a moment several of breaths later the arm makes a return.

It still feels odd, unreal in a sense. Yet a part of you cannot help but wonder what it must be to grow him this exhausted, enough to let a part of his guard down somehow.

Were you to move in a typical awake person way though, you’re positive he would be up and ready as well, eyes like a hawk’s, examining, observing, tearing each piece apart and putting them back together afterwards.

Dazai makes no comment on your little arts and crafts project, settles for a smile you’re sure to be condescending. At this point you’d have preferred the snarky comments, at least that way you could’ve said something back, let out a tiny bit of steam that way.

The other looks you receive are not any better, but at least there is a hint of uneasiness, they must find it funny, a bandaged brat and a masked weirdo.

Those with half a mind should know better to fear Dazai, having heard rumors perhaps, then again, where is the element of surprise in that? That’s where you must come in then.

Mocking faces and words that fail to sting are way better than those who only see meat.

Whichever the case, it doesn’t make that much of a difference. Either way, you don’t find it in you to care.

And even if you did, you doubt you could care. Time has long passed for that.

You start to feel the benefits, and the aftereffects of the mask, a little later.

Sure, at basis, the point is to have a sense of secrecy, privacy, in case of cameras, witnesses or survivors. Yet on the other hand, it provides it a lot easier to sign somehow–

A brand new face.

You get to be someone else, even if just for few minutes or hours, even if it’s a face you didn’t pick yourself, not exactly.

Chosen against your will but were you not the one to design it, finalize the looks in front of the mirror?

It looks odd, wobbly, no straight lines, two long pieces seem to stem from the head, resembling a pair of horns; if it’s a demon, it is one of a kind. If it’s a myth, its story has only just begun.

Sing to your heart's content, who is to say this is not some weird musical movie, or an ancient tragedy, and the grounds, dark alleys your amphitheater.

How effortless it is to blend in with the shadows, with darkness. Clad in black attire from head to toe, only a glint of red on the eerie mask that they cannot seem to make something of.

And that’s all you need, really.

To leave them confused, to remain a puzzle, something weird, so weird, beyond understanding; leave no opening to be seen, to be understood– not that they’ll be granted the opportunity any way.

Out of it before their fear can register, is it temporary or a permanent state, that is not up to you. Even the birds end up with snapped wings and tied up beaks.

Just few steps into the shade to fit, to disappear, the shadows are dark but they’re no match for his eye.

It is almost funny how certain things bring back memories of the past within them. Random, unimportant things.

Take this moment into consideration for a second. The alleys lead to a boulevard, all that talk of the dark and the shadow, of being alone and empty leads to a song, leads to several years ago, leads to a depressed second of thinking how even back then you felt miserable– but that’s not the topic at hand right now, so you push it away.

Be someone else for a day, for a night, even for a moment.

Think of the past, that same empty feeling that always seems to follow, tail behind. Concentrate on all your suffering, misery, all the harbored, bottled up things so pathetic, so pitiful.

Death of a friend, death of a face you’ll never see again. The end of a person you’ll never be again, one you'll only meet the shell of in the mirror if you spare it a glance.

The absence of something fundamental, something primal, the lack of a heart, lack of something human.

Think of that crashing sound, the sudden noise of the brakes hitting, the scene you couldn’t bear to face, the very reality you are stuck in, the harsh truth that you’ll never see him again, never feel him, hear him, watch him run and play.

The very reality that time will forever pass and never wait for anyone else, how even now feels unreal, how then felt unreal. Like a movie passing, one you wish were just fiction.

Be someone else for a day, for a moment.

Be someone else without the hole inside, be someone without the weight of burden, the feeling of guilt, this very thing bubbling inside you that you have no name for, that you want to rip out of your chest, without caring if you’ll rip apart a part of your flesh in the process.

The past is in the past, now is happening but you cannot care, it feels too late as it is being written out.

The past is gone, so is the present, the future is something you find unbelievable.

It all plays out like a movie, and your eyes belong to the audience.

The glint of the knife in the cold dead night, how your grip on it only tightens and Dazai meets you only with a look you cannot name, then a chuckle. A motion as if shaking his head in bemusement, though it is hard to tell when both your faces lie on the pillows.

The dim lights above and you feel the hands on your back pushing you forward, into the den of the wolves, not mighty but pathetic, leeching on those they seem weak and defenseless. Look around puzzled only to see him disappear but what can you do, what does he want, what do you want?

Nothing is born from the action, the knife isn’t painted red.

Life doesn't flash before your eyes, you only recall another face from several years ago and how she’d sing along a song with you, always appearing to be in her world, without worrying or caring, but happy, energetic, living.

“It must hurt your hand to grip it so tightly every night until morning.” he only prefers to say but a voice inside you is reeling in the small victory, that glimpse of a surprise.

Why that song, those memories out of everything else? The man who gets a hold of you pushes you to the side, already contemplating what to do with you. Your ears hear the word ransom as your brain desperately goes from one sentence to another to form, to say in hopes of being let free. The other looks you receive are enough to say that will not be happening.

Was he not expecting or did he only assume you didn’t have the guts to cultivate such a thing?

Either way it’s a win.

Not important enough for ransom, but loved enough by family that they’ll be on the search, either sentence is a loss, tossing up against a wall you cannot jump over, or climb. There are no ladders in the distance either yet the possibilities of what else your fate may meet only make your blood run colder.

You should’ve done more with your life, a voice decides to sneer. Drawn more, talked with people more, read more, written more.

Even in such a dire situation, you find yourself letting out a pained chuckle at the realization. You had such plans, dreams and what not, didn’t you? The hole was there, the notion find future for you impossible was there but there were still plans of small hobbies, activities, ideas– for yourself and yourself only.

A way of escape, even just for a moment–

You don’t need bright red hair and feline-like eyes. You don't need combat skills, or knowledge of technology. You don’t have to be someone from outer space or a mutant. Just for a moment, pretend, close your eyes and open them as the audience again, the same spot you had taken years ago when daydreaming of certain stories.

When you open your eyes again, there’s a confident smile. The sound of the guitar inside your head suddenly does not sound so off-place.

The men spread all around the area, eyeing the place for any other intruders, one barking orders around, nothing but bullshit leaving his mouth– so tedious, even the rest seem done with him already. Well, it won’t hurt to help them finally put an end to all, will it?

The man’s grip on you has long gone, after pushing you to the side of a crate. He does seem confused though, (Walking after dark) when his ears fail to understand the foreign language.

One of them yells what is it about a park but it’s too late now, their fates were sealed the moment you and Dazai stepped in– no, the moment Dazai picked this place, and them, for a lovely, little, educational evening.

Few steps is all you need to sneak up to the man’s side, ‘your thoughts are so unholy in the holiest of holes’, you say with your index shaking. A smile, part mocking, part fake-disappointed is all he is met with when he whips his head. Your voice right behind his ear gets him jumping in his place.

Singing the rest until the chorus with a tone not too loud, more than a mere whisper does the trick.

“Someone kill the dj!” your voice loud and clear by his ear, your index shooting up and toward a direction you head whispers from earlier. It works like magic, it works all too well, a trained gun raised high in a whim and the shot taken at the first opening he sees.

‘Someone kill the dj!’, you point at elsewhere, ‘shoot the fucking dj’, the bullet follows cue.

Soon it rises, the melody, the hype, the heat of the moment. You're someone else now, this is normal for the identity you wear.

For each phrase of the chorus, a bullet is sent, your head tilted, body moving more and more with an energy you cannot contain. Eyes widened, the smile growing wider. Once the nearby area is clearer, you move along, tiptoe, skipping steps almost in a dance without a rhythm, without an origin.

Walking after dark, the remaining men are in a frenzy, none the wiser of your presence or what you are doing.

With each repeat of the verse, the words leave your mouth easily, with an increasing spite. A whisper and a finger pointing is all you need, as well as an ear to listen.

Numbers decrease, the high of what you feel increases, the build up of the song, the moment, the rush of seeing men crumble before you, listen to your words and do as you tell them to.

No more listening to mindless orders with their barley crafted justifications, selfish excuses, illogical reasonings.

And with few left standing, all turned against one another, you pay no mind, no longer dancing between the carefully stacked and placed crates, the spotlight awaits the main character.

A sudden noise of something dropped to the ground, you see one of them look up at you in fear, his eyes widening in sync with your expression. “Someone's gonna get you, boy”

Everyone deserves a heads-up once in a while.

“Shoot that fucker down!” you turn and walk away, hand still pointing at the back.

Better them than you, a voice in your head reasons. You don’t need a vivid imagination to know what would’ve happened to you.

And as the rest of the words spill like a mantra, your brain tucking them behind a veil, your shoulders move accordingly to the melody, arms dropping and your body swaying on its own, looking almost giddy in a way.

Your body does not belong to you, not at this moment.

And with only one man left, it’s few quick skips that lead you to him, standing behind, hand placed on his dominant one. Leaning over his shoulder, lips awfully close to his stinking form and bringing the gun to his head, all that needs to be done is to smile and finish the song.

note: as an explanation bc i put it there a little vague but the whole talk of taking a new face (as well as bright red hair, mutant, alien etc) is implied reader used to have original characters they'd think/write about– something they abandoned at one point and only recall then (when they need it).

a/n 2: the red haired one as well as mutant and alien are few characteristics/looks of some of my old OCs though, if anyone is ever curious i'd love to talk about them!

#a case of bad luck #dazai osamu #gender neutral reader #bungou stray dogs #dazai osamu fanfiction #dazai osamu x reader #dazai osamu x you #bungou stray dogs fanfiction #bsd x reader #bsd x you #dazai x reader #dazai x you

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akwardlyuncool · 6 months

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Spotify Wrapped 2023

So I'm here to talk about my hella basic year in music lol. If you're new here I got 2 Spotifys, which means I compare them every year to see which one I think is more accurate.

Basically I got my daily driver, what I use most often and what’s signed in on my phone and then the Spotify I use for/while I’m working on projects on Akwardly Uncool. Anyway the LEFT side is the Daily Driver and the RIGHT is AkwardlyUncool.

So I'mma Start By Proudly Waving My Basic Card:

I might be wrong, but I feel like everybody who was even slightly in the Pop-Punk, Midwest Emo, Post Emo space had Hot Mulligan in their top 5, either artists or songs for 2023. It was just bound to happen and I ain't mad at it, cause have you listened to them?! Just had to acknowledge that real quick lol.

Minutes and Hours and Just Time:

15,850 minutes. About 264 hours. 11 Days.

Not gonna lie, based on some personal calculations, this was a shorter year for consuming music for me. (If you stick around for ACF 2024 I might divulge some of that reasoning, but for now I'll just say, It is what it is and I know why.) That being said I'll try to beef up my numbers again next year.

Top Artists:

Now don't get me wrong I love The Wonder Years down, however I made a collaborative playlist of The Wonder Years and Hot Mulligan with a friend and basically didn't turn it off lol (it was definitely a shower mix for sure) and that's how they ultimately won the award on my main account.

As for the "side" account, which felt like the main this year, Winnetka Bowling League is just one of those groups that's so good to put on and let run. Now of course I have my repeats, that I've been talking about for the last few years and then I added more and so whether it was going to their page and hitting play or seeking out my repeats, I totally get why they won there. They're coming out with a full album next year, so get used to me talking about them 90% of the time. And if you hop on their train, remember I'm the conductor.

As for the other artists who touched the top 5, I saw 3 of them in concert this year, so naturally their numbers are going to be higher. Also Watsky made it cause Intention is not on CD, hopefully yet.

Genre Sandwiches and Top Tracks:

It's Pop-Punk season mixed with Winnetka Bowling League and Watsky, so both sides reflect that. That being said, the main diver is where I play the majority of the R&B, Neo-Soul and the likes, so they're rarely reflected on my second. But KNOW, I am a mix of Pop-Punk and Neo-Soul, always!

Again it's Pop-Punk season or rather Hot Mulligan season and I spent a lot of time learning every word to those two tracks that won, but are too long for me to desire to type out now. "Draw and quarter a stranger to feel some blood on your fingers. You take away, robbery follow trends as a hobby, find flaws in everything else because you don't like yourself. Woe is me!"

Collector vs Alchemist:

They both say essentially the same thing which is that I make and listen to my own playlists more than anything else, but anyone who works with me could have told you that lol. Geniuses.

Winner? Winner? Chicken Dinner?

Again they basically say the same thing this year, which is that we listened to a lot of Hot Mulligan, Relient K is still my favorite band and if i see you in concert you tend to show up on my Wrapped for the year. I will say though that I'm hella surprised that this is the first year Lyfe Jennings didn't show up on my Wrapped and although that makes way for other folks, it's still a little sad lol.

Hey we made it through Spotify Wrapped Time and now must move on to the more nuanced and obviously better Akward Class Favorites 2023. If you don't know, it where I just go through my year in movies, music, online content consumption and other things of the like, so better lol. Don't have an ETA on when that will go up, but I've taken the notes, so hopefully before the end of December.

#Extra Talk #Spotify Wrapped 2023 #Spotify Wrapped #Hot Mulligan #Winnetka Bowling League

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guitarnacle · 1 month

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album review - she wants revenge, she wants revenge (2005) by a fool who knows nothing

tracklist:

red flags and long nights

these things

I don't want to fall in love

out of control

monologue

broken promises for broken hearts

sister

disconnect

someone must get hurt

tear you apart

she loves me, she loves me not

i really like this as an opening song. it introduces the kind of synth and electro guitar and monotone singing that literally IS she wants revenge, and is very straight up about it. i like it when albums open with a long intro and then get into it, and this song nails both parts. the lyrics are alright, better than some of the ones on here at least. i love how he sings ((two weeks, two years or just tonight.

slow start to second track is bold, feels like an entirely different song, i would have put this further along when the style starts getting repetitive. then again i dont know shit about ass and have never made an album. i like this song. its very the killers. i like it when songs are sexy. hes not a bad man hes just overwhelmed. i think this album is a collection of terrible love stories rather than one narrative

this song is real full frontal monotone nasal synth drums brittish man. i hate it when people count in songs though, and this is EGREGIOUS. the lyrics are bad. the saving grace is the massive cannon-esque drum sound: (( I don't wanna. DOOF DOOF .... . other than that this is boring to me, but it fits in well so far, it feels like a heightened pitch of some of the other songs.

nobody writes songs about powerful DJs anymore... what happened to dj got us falling in love? anyway i like the opening because its sexy and i like the line we're slaves to the DJ and out of control. this song is where it starts getting repetitive. still no good transition betwixt songs which is sad but fine. no one else will ever be folie a deux or pretty hate machine

i like this beat it wriggles around into you! it is scissor-sisters esque and i really like distortion in pop songs and the lyrics. this is a good one, smack in the mouth mentioned (sweet dinosaur world reference) and it feels different enough to everything before it to rejuvenate me. good outro

cheesy title!!!! it kind of seems like a retread to me. not that into it but it knows when and where to cut back different instruments

religious sex song religious sex song. what else is there to say. groovy. there is a really high pitched upsetting beeping very faint in the bg though.

i truly enjoy an intermission instrumental track <3 this was so relaxing

slowest song yet, sadly it is boring. nice layering though

i love it when songs are selfish and mean and there are good hooks (( i stand quite still / someone must get hurt and it won't be me, sadly this song was also boring

here we go !!! best song on the album, instantly iconic, nin-esque mixing, insane toxic lyrics, catchy, no flaws. its the most popular for a reason. listen to it right now. The backing vocals rly differentiate it and the tone and lyrics are standout

This is a good closer, feels like a weird aftermath to all the other songs' stories. Slow in a good way

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hospitalterrorizer · 2 months

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diary200

4/2-3/2024

tuesday - wednesday

labor rights violated today......could not take my break... wtf i thought my bosses #were #my #friends.

anyway, i finished my drawing thingy. i finished the actual drawing part and couldn't figure out what to write over it. but i came on something. against my better judgment, i'll post it. it is probably overtly sexual but it's a constant thing in any kind of art i make...so... whatever.

i don't know what to say, other than i think all the points of reference are rather obvious, but i guess one thing i'm especially interested in right now is deformity as handled by hans bellmer, where it's more like deformity by capturing movement, the erotic gestures as mutant, that kind of idea. but i've always tried that, i've always been in his debt, so idk, it's just about needing to feel cute ultimately, i suppose.

i also drew tonight, to keep up with my every other day practice thing.

i like some of the ideas in it/ ways i drew faces. i think referencing photos is really useful for constructing heads better, it helps remind me of things like,, idk. it just helps me know what a human head is like. it's easy to forget that i suppose.

anyway, today i also did a song, so that makes 2 more for the mixing process, and thennn,,,,, more vocals.

and that's not too much... so we're getting #close.

with the tablet i stole from my gf, i'm definitely thinking about re-tracing the bugs, in other resolutions too, just cuz...idk, i know what's gonna upscale better now at least. so yeah, there's that on my mind, for the cover art.

anyway i gotta work out nowww.

worked out... fun.

i listened to the new cindy lee album in full today finally, really great stuff, the exact kind of music i like hearing, or like, one kind of thing i love to hear. i love a lot, so i really wanna hear a lot all the time.

but i digress, i love diamond jubilee, it might be a big deal this year, for me at least. no bad songs on it, a lovely way to spend 2 hours.

here's another bit of music i'm obsessed with, this song.

youtube

i love that it's got a cute garage rock vibe but it's still kind of got the white-belty thing going on w/ the paper thin guitars, or like, how white belt took the 60s affectations, this kind of bumps that up, the keyboards are so beautiful to me, i love those synths, it's just a perfect song to me.

apparently the lead guy of the intelligence was in this band:

youtube

reminds me of numbers a bit. fun stuff. i love the freakout section in this song with those way bleepy synths.

anyway i need to sleep now, we have to do errands tomorrow, so,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#Youtube

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baekhvuns · 2 years

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Sleeping in the same position for hours is THE WORST I feel like a grandma after waking up. Is your elbow better?

Some people, bless them, but they're whole ass adults yet act like teens, pls behave 😭 this includes my friends... I need to snap them out of their daze from time to time

Exactly Treasure has vocals, but it's so hype and pirate-y too! The MV is simple, but they filmed it in such a pretty place! Fhjsyehshehhse Jongho belly dancer, but he's wearing a coat still. I see him as the snake charmer with Seonghwa being the snake. No because belly chain Seonghwa, we remember, we cry 😭😍

I'm not a Jopper, sorry but compared to Step Back, not only were the lyrics ugly but the song? So bad. I'm so sorry to my ladies </3

Yes I saw some Taemin-esque vibes! I love the beat it H I T S and TY's voice?!?! The cinematography and choreography were so good too, I didn't expect to be so obsessed 🤯 I don't know what's going on with the solo releases, but it's so true they're serving! I'm looking forward to more solo stuff from TY I hope he goes into this direction, so he can show a different side than the NCT noise and whacky concepts - no offence, but I've always been a Taeyong enthusiast. Ooooh, yes God Damn was a vibe I remember listening to it a looooooot last year 👁👄👁

I GOT MY SVT ALBUMS AND OMGGGG I forgot that you get tons of photocards with the Carat version OF THE SAME MEMBER so I have over 20 of ONE man lolol, if I got 24 photocards of Seonghwa I would be gone. Not that I'm giving KQ ideas ☠ but it's so much better than jewel cases that both SM and JYP are doing, you don't even get cards of the member on the cover most of the time 🙃 I'm sitting here with over 60 SVT cards HELP they also included highlighters. Please don't steal my money I need to feed my kids :(((

Nah drinking coke only is not it, but I drink flavoured water or ice tea or juices and other fruity stuff, I need to taste something water is so bland, I only like sparkling water with some lemon in it, but it gets boring. WHERE'S THE FLAVOUR

I'm sorry I only accept DILF Hwa, but I will see what's going on with y/ns father...

Wheew I was almost worried you were doing the nasty against the wall GET A ROOM. My latest Hwa dream involved us hiding in a classroom with other people, idk what was going on but some of them were doing some BAD things and whyyyyy 😬 and I think I had a boyfriend? Then I remember me and Seonghwa standing outside my building at 6am?

Yes this is what I mean for bb x bg! Make it funny and chaotic, but let's throw some parental issues in the mix, so they can bond over their traumas <3 noooo I haven't let me check the lyrics 👀 oh so it's sharing the hotel bathroom too, inchresting

There's a difference between an OC and Y/N, somehow I find myself not liking the OC stories? I don't know why, maybe they're too self-indulgent, I like to come up with my own OCs for Y/Ns so maybe that's why? I can shape them the way I want and if someone wants to insert themselves vague descriptions are the best.

https://twitter.com/hwascloud/status/1222693373170946048?s=20&t=dNR4o7kUFywwXa5noW4OUQ 😌😌😌😌

Everytime Seonghwa posts pouty or kissy selfies I'M LOOKING AT L I P S plsssss. And your mum knows it, she likes slutty gender envy men <3

I know I can't be greedy with my Seonghwa agenda, but I also know people want other members as well. I would say San, but one of my besties says Mingi ksydkdhshskshegs

In the 1st photo he said 👍🧍‍♂️ https://twitter.com/hwalilac/status/1534378398457692160?t=GsxdUCAFyPF55EVEBZvHUQ&s=19

Ok these are DILF, the 1st one is lowkey an embarrassing uncle on holidays but a H O T uncle nevertheless. I have similar sandals, but they're not as stompy 😭 also PRADA. If I was on that carousel and he suddenly showed up I'd fall off my horse for sure. Anyway look at his smiley eyes, uwu https://www.instagram.com/p/Ceg-uJDN25p/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

A question: how would you rank the members in order for your potential roommates? I had these convos with people multiple times and I'm always curious if they choose their bias. - DV 💖

hi hello!!

Sleeping in the same position for hours is THE WORST I feel like a grandma after waking up. Is your elbow better?

NO FR WAKING UP WITH LIKE LINES ON YOUR ARMS AND CHEEKS THE BEST SLEEP EVER esp if it rains,, the little razzle dazzle 🤌🏼 the cold and the blanket 😮‍💨😮‍💨 and yes it is!! back to normal just a little sore!

Some people, bless them, but they're whole ass adults yet act like teens, pls behave 😭 this includes my friends... I need to snap them out of their daze from time to time

NO FR SO TRUE 😭😭😭 sometimes it’s rly embarrassing but bro pls grow up it’s annoying to take responsibility of ur actions everytime 😭😭🤚🏼

Exactly Treasure has vocals, but it's so hype and pirate-y too! The MV is simple, but they filmed it in such a pretty place!

EXACTLY !!!!! the whole middle eastern concept in that mv was chefs kisses,,, tho im still questioning that white man that was in the mv for no reason HOW DID HE MAKE THE CUT DID NO ONE SEE HREKFH 😭😭 THE BASS LINE IN TREASURE IS SOME OF THEIR BEST

Fhjsyehshehhse Jongho belly dancer, but he's wearing a coat still. I see him as the snake charmer with Seonghwa being the snake. No because belly chain Seonghwa, we remember, we cry 😭😍

LMFAOOOO STOP A BELLY CHAIN ON TOP OF JONGHOS LONG COATS 😭😭😭😭 seonghwa, the snake, the siren, the everything sexc,,, belly chain hwa BUT GIVE HIM SOMETHING WITH A LITTLE MORE FLARE AND CATCH ME PASSING OHT

I'm not a Jopper, sorry but compared to Step Back, not only were the lyrics ugly but the song? So bad. I'm so sorry to my ladies </3

NO SERIOUSLY WHAT WAS THAT SONG??? the hideous auto tune and the beat 😭😭 jopping outsold <3

RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT !!!!! i have it on repeat ever since it came out and im so entranced by him 😭😭😭 YEAH THEYRE ALL SERVING FROM THE TITLES TO THE BSIDES THEYRR ALL SO GOOD??? god 😩😩 no one can match sm soloists YES ME TOO i thought his song would be like mad dog with that bass but he completely surprised me im so hooked and so excited to see his stuff,,, he gives me post malone vibes and i will take it ALL. no fr me too, bias like strong ✊🏼 RIGHT FBEJFHEJ I LOVED I.MS WHOLE ALBUM WAS SO SO GOOOOD

20 OF ONE MAN????? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN THERE ????? no fr sm jewel cases are so pretty bc the photoshoot in it is superior but they gIVE BARELY ANYTHING IN IT 😭😭😭 I EXPECT A SMALL POSTER AND PHOTOCARD AND A POSTCARD IDC IDC ;!2&;)2@ 60???? HIGHLIGHTERS??? HELLOOO????????????????

WHAT DO U MEAN WATER GETS BORING FHKWHDWK IM SCREAMJNG DO U SHOWER IN FLAVOURED WATER TOO ?????? ANON THIS MENTAL 😭😭😭😭😭 UR HEALTH ??????

I'm sorry I only accept DILF Hwa, but I will see what's going on with y/ns father...

NAURURURURUUR 😭😭😭😭😭 u had a boyfriend while hwa was beside you?? how dARE YOU JCBSMDH lmg was it a apocalypse or something bc ??? 😭😭😭😭

YES ABSOLUTELY I WILL WRITE IT !!!! more like the bride and groom forcing the best man and maid of honour to stay in one flat together bc they are the ones handling the wedding deco and do not agree on nothing 🥰🥰🥰 u will see a hair straightener being chucked at seonghwa <3 he likes it bad <3

YES !!! it’s easy to write y/n’s bc everyone just makes and moulds them into what they wanna be presented as,,, for oc’s it’s restrictive but also sometimes off putting when they go in crazy details of certain stuff that’s self indulgent fbwmdhsj

https://twitter.com/hwascloud/status/1222693373170946048?s=20&t=dNR4o7kUFywwXa5noW4OUQ 😌😌😌😌

i-i just d worded.

Everytime Seonghwa posts pouty or kissy selfies I'M LOOKING AT L I P S plsssss. And your mum knows it, she likes slutty gender envy men <3

EXACTLY IM LOOKING AT HIS LIPS IM GONNA ROB THEM BUT FIRST ILL SMOOCH FBWNBD

LMFAOOOO SHE LOVES SLUTTY MEN 😭😭

I know I can't be greedy with my Seonghwa agenda, but I also know people want other members as well. I would say San, but one of my besties says Mingi ksydkdhshskshegs

i have around, 2 hwa fics upcoming <3 OHO DOES UR BESTIE ALSO READ FICS 🔫

In the 1st photo he said 👍🧍‍♂️ https://twitter.com/hwalilac/status/1534378398457692160?t=GsxdUCAFyPF55EVEBZvHUQ&s=19

and the second photo he said ateezmakemeweep’s dilf hwa 😭😭😭😭 I WANT THAT ONE

DOMT TRY TO DIVERT THE ATTENTION WHAT THE FUCK IS HE WEARING IM SCREAMINGJRVWMDJWK THOSE ARE CHONKY C H O N K Y GOD DAMN HE WOULD KILL AN ANT WITH A SMALL STEP FBWNBDNE I JUST WANNA KNOW WHAT WERE U THINKING BUYING THOSE 😭😭😭

i have something for u too. what the hell is this.

A question: how would you rank the members in order for your potential roommates? I had these convos with people multiple times and I'm always curious if they choose their bias. - DV 💖

omg ok i like quiet ppl bc they wont talk and u have the best time doing ur own thing so id say yeosang,, hongjoong, seonghwa and then the rest BUT WOOYOUNG IS AT THE BOTTOM OF THE LIST how about u omg who’s the one everyone chooses the most??

#✉️ : ask #dv 💖 anon

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afriendlyblackhottie · 3 years

Text

Dance, Dance

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Summary: there’s been too much going on ever since you started messing around with your best friend.

Pairings: Colin Shea x Black!Best Friend!Reader

Warnings: minors dni, smut, angst, fluff

(A/N: yaaaay it’s done. This was a fun little series. I loved writing it. Titled after the song Dance, Dance by Fall Out Boy. Thanks everyone that enjoyed. Like, follow, reblog, and comment ☺️)

»»——————————-　♡　—————-————-««

You didn’t even know it was possible for you to fake smile for this long. As much as you enjoyed doing the whole music thing, industry shit was kind of the worse. You’d been overdue for at least a glass of champagne, but now you needed something stronger like whisky.

Things had been hectic lately. Just getting stuff ready and playing ball. The label that signed you was a smaller offshoot of a bigger one and so now you were here watching Colin take one for the team and schmooze it up since he knew the rest of you hated this part.

It wasn’t like you were bad at the whole thing. It’s just there was only so much you could deal with before finally reaching your limit. And all the old men ogling you was definitely something you could live without.

“Hey,” Ryan, your bass player, greeted as he sat beside you. It was kind of funny seeing the rest of them in suits and shit. You didn’t think they could wear anything but jeans and converse.

Hell for Colin clothing was already optional. Now he was there wearing a suit. Playing the part. And doing it well. You couldn’t lie, though. He looked good as hell. Obviously you weren’t the only one to notice. The woman whispering in his ear right no clearly saw it too.

“Hey,” you said with a sigh. This dress was scratchy as hell, but it was cute. It was probably worth more than your rent so you were really trying to not mess it up. Fuck you felt awkward.

So, yeah things had been a little weird since they’d walked in on you on Colin’s lap. Not that they could see that his pants had been undone from how you were but let’s just say the rest of the band had been doing this thing where they’d been trying to figure out your couple name ever since.

Still you didn’t know how to act around them. Especially since you’d left like your ass was on fire. Unlike with the whole girlfriend thing, the two of you didn’t get the chance to talk even a little after that. It felt like life was pulling the both of you in so many directions what were you even supposed to say. Sure the guys managed to squeeze their jokes in but other than that nothing.

You’d had photo shoots and meetings and just all kinds of shit. Sure this was definitely the life you wanted and you kind of appreciated the distraction. Didn’t mean you wanted to keep living in limbo with him. So it’s not like you’d been avoiding him so much as finding the time to have serious conversations was kind of not there.

At the same time it’s like were you even prepared for whatever he had to say. You don’t give a guy head and then make out with him for him to stop and start with ‘I just don’t think-‘ and expect him to say something not terrible. Especially not a guy like Colin. Even if you were holding out hope.

You knew his track record going into it. Which is why those rules had been in place. You’d been around a thousand Colin’s. You knew how it went. It was hit it and quit it every time. What made you different. If he really wanted to talk he would have. Nothing had ever kept him from telling you dumb shit all the time. Suddenly he couldn’t text?

Whatever. You didn’t even want to care. This was about the music. It was your fault anyway. You’d known better than to get tangled up in him but you’d done it anyway. You’d just have to live with that.

“So what are we doing tomorrow?” He asked.

You shrugged with a sigh. “I dunno. Was just thinking about keeping a low profile. I’m not really feeling it right now.”

Ryan frowned. “You know Colin doesn’t care,” he replied with a chuckle. “You know how he gets.”

“That’s fine,” you replied with a small smile with a shrug, bringing your glass of whiskey up to your lips. Thank goddess for an open bar, though, right. At least that would help you through the night.

“Okay so,” Colin said finally coming over to plop down beside you on a barstool,“how we feeling about an after party?”

You shrugged while him and Ryan started talking it over. If anything you’d probably go back to the hotel but whatever.

You rested your chin on your fists as the boys talked. It’s not that you wanted to be sad girl right now. You should be the happiest you’d ever been and you were but fuck this is gonna sound so lame but you missed your best friend. But no you forgot to wear underwear and now apparently neither of you knew how to act around each other.

“What about you?” He asked. “You know we’re no good without our fearless leader.”

“I thought this was a party,” you said setting your glass down. “I didn’t realize I was leading you into battle.”

Colin chuckled. “Oh it’s us against the world, Baby. There’s always a war.” He winked as he grabbed your glass. Not even phased when you protested and made grabby hands for it. “I’ll get you a new one if you say yes.”

“Eat a dick,” you grumbled then tried to get the bartender’s attention.

“Who pissed in your iced coffee?” He asked with a chuckle. “Come on. It’ll be fun. Better than whatever the fuck this is.” Can’t argue with that.

You shrugged. “I’ll see. I’m kinda tired.”

He pouted. “Don’t be a party pooper. Come on. Don’t you wanna hang with us. Keep us out of trouble.”

“Keep him out of trouble,” Ryan corrected making you laugh.

“Yes. Fine. Keep me out of trouble.” He rolled his eyes dramatically. “Come on. I’ll make it worth it.”

“How?” You asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Well,” he started as he thought, “I’m already taking you out for breakfast tomorrow so that’s out.”

“You are?” You asked with a chuckle. This was news to you.

“Um, duh,” he said before poking your side. “Why wouldn’t I?”

You shrugged. “I dunno. It’s not that serious.”

Colin sighed, rolling his eyes. “Come on. I promise it’ll be fun.” He nudged you. Then his face softened. “Do you really not wanna go?”

No, but even though you were irritated with him you still felt like a lovesick puppy. And his eyes had gotten all romantic looking. It was so hard not giving in to him.

That’s how you found yourself out in the New York air. Crossing your arms in front of you. “What’s this?” You asked as you walked up to a limo.

“Our ride,” he said, into your ear.

“Hey, Colin,” the woman greeted him with a smile as she walked passed to get in. “You coming?”

He had the nerve to smile at you all brightly as he grabbed your arm. “Isn’t this cool,” he said as he sat beside her. You on the other side of him. Why didn’t you just go back to the fucking hotel when you had the chance.

The entire way to the party was filled with them laughing and talking. The entire time you were thinking say something, anything, but no you sat there awkward as hell. Ryan and your drummer James were sort of trying to include you while your rhythm guitarist Parker had decided to go to the hotel. You wish you’d just gone with him. You knew that’d be your first mistake.

You hated being in such a sour mood. Especially with so many people around. “You want a drink or something?” Colin asked into your ear, trying to talk over the loud music. You sighed, putting on another smile on as you nodded.

You tried to follow behind him, but this place was crowded. Looking back you saw that Ryan and James were no longer next to you either. Shit. Way to make this situation better, right.

Well Colin was right at least. This was better than that place crawling in suits. You walked along trying to find at least one of the men you came with and you were officially over it. Then you saw the balcony and decided to check out there next.

The fresh air was kind of nice. Maybe you just needed to clear your head for a minute. Hell you were ready to go to bed anyway.

Maybe tomorrow you’ll spend the day in the city. Doing whatever you wandered upon. No thinking about the next few months and how everything’s going to go from zero to one hundred. Not that you weren’t looking forward to it, but for now you wanted to welcome a little bit of peace.

Hopefully there’d be no thoughts about a certain guitar player either. That you doubt, but you could try. You yawned and groaned. Fuck it you’re leaving.

“Of all the people I thought I might see tonight,” a familiar voice said before you could get inside.

That voice made you stiffen. Then you started groaning as you turned to face him. “As if my night couldn’t get any worse. What are you even doing here?”

“What you think you’re the only one that gets invited to parties?” He asked.

When you’d parted from your last band, it wasn’t exactly the nicest situation. You always made your rule clear even if you’d broke it with Colin. Even with him it’s not like he did what Andrew did.

Things had been going okay with them, but it was nothing like now. This time around it felt so real. Like musically you were meant to be. Maybe that’s why you didn’t want to ruin things by blowing up even if Colin was sending you enough mixed signals to write an album about.

Back then though. It wasn’t like this. Yeah you liked your other bandmates back then, but with Colin, Ryan, and James it almost felt like a family. You all meshed. You all got along. Despite everything going on you loved them.

With Andrew’s band there was never a connection. You played. You went home. Over and done with. So the night he corned you, trying to kiss you it came out of nowhere. When you told the rest of them didn’t care. You were replaceable. Then you saw that flyer and decided to say fuck it and quit.

“What are you doing here?” He asked now, taking out a cigarette.

You shrugged. “That’s none of your business.”

He scoffed. “Heard you guys got signed. Who’d you sleep with to manage that?”

“Well, it wasn’t you.”

He rolled his eyes. “Who you here with? The new guys you’re blowing?”

You clenched your jaw before taking a deep breath. He didn’t know. Who the fuck cares. So you started walking away because you really did not give two shits.

“Yeah, my friend Dina was telling me you fucked her ex,” he said.

Your back stiffened as you stopped. Closing your eyes. God you wanted to scream at him, but he wasn’t worth the trouble. Wasn’t worth causing a scene. That’s what you told yourself last time and that’s what you were telling yourself now.

“Yeah said she walked in on you too,” he said coming up behind you.

“Dina doesn’t know what what she’s talking about.” You took a deep breath then bit your tongue, but still didn’t turn to face him.

“Well she sure had a lot to say. About how much of a whore you turned into after being a little tease.”

You closed your eyes suddenly feeling sick. You shouldn’t let it get to you. You knew it but fuck. This is why you didn’t do this. You didn’t need the drama.

“Dude, fuck off,” you finally said wrapping your arms around yourself as tried walking away again, trying to tune out whatever shit was spewing out of his mouth.

Promising yourself that you wouldn’t cry. Eyes finally catching Colin’s as he did a grin spread and then quickly fell from his face. Standing around the same girl from earlier. At least he managed to keep up with her.

He started walking towards you without a word and seeing his way was the only way towards the exit there was no avoiding him. That’s when you felt fingers grabbing at your wrist. Twisting your arm so you had no choice but to face him.

In between the, “you little sl-“ and Colin pushing him away from you, you’d ended knocking into someone. Beer spilling on the front of your dress. Way to make a shitty moment even worse guys. This was a fucking loan. Thanks for that. Fuck tonight just wasn’t your night huh.

“I’m so sorry,” a drunk girl slurred, putting her hands on your shoulders.

“No it’s okay,” you sighed feeling your eyes prickle with tears. Fuck you hated it. Your chest suddenly feeling tight. You had to get the fuck out of here.

As soon as you made it to the elevator you took a deep breath. Closing your eyes and leaning down the wall as the doors closed.

“What the hell was that?” Colin said. You squeezed your eyelids. The little bit of frustration that had left, coming back in an instant. “Did he hurt you?” He asked, grabbing your hand. “What the hell happened?”

“Stop,” you said, snatching it away. “Just… stop.” Your heart felt like it was sinking into your chest. You just wanted to eat and shower snd sleep. Fine fuck it. Shower and sleep. You’ll eat in the morning. You just wanted Colin to stop following you and for him to shut up.

“Hey!” He stopped you as soon as you got off. “What’s wrong? Just tell me what happened.”

You scoffed and rolled your eyes. “You don’t have to pretend to care okay.” You shrugged. “You weren’t thinking about me ten minutes ago.”

“What do you mean I was looking all over for you,” he said furrowing his eyebrow.

You rolled your eyes again. Ugh it felt like you couldn’t stop. “Yeah, it sure looked like it.”

“I was. You can ask Ryan and James. Alyssa was helping me.”

“Do you think I’m fucking stupid, Colin?” You asked raising your eyebrow. “I get it. We messed around and you’re a fuckboy or whatever. It’s not like I was expecting to be different or something. You do this all the time. That’s fine but you don’t have to pretend like you give a shit. And I’m the fucking idiot for thinking you would because I thougt-” your voice broke as you just shook your head and walked away.

Colin stood there looking stunned. Feeling like he was one second away from puking. Finally taking a deep breath when he realized that if he didn’t catch up to you know you’d get into a taxi without him.

“Wait, Y/N,” he called out.

But you didn’t turn around. Heart thumping in your chest. You blew out your cheeks and rested your head against the window. Feeling there was a lump in your throat.

You felt like such a baby. All teary eyed in a cab. Red eyed as you made your way to your room. Crying in the shower. Then not stopping as you settled into bed. And for what. You fucking up the one thing you always told yourself. Listening to your stupid vagina. And your heart as much as you hated to admit it.

Not only was it stressful to think about what this would do for the band, but you and Colin had really built up the best connection. Now what happens. You’re not gonna get that with someone else. And that was the worst part.

Your eyes were so heavy, but you were suddenly so awake. All that complaining about being tired. Now look you can’t even sleep. Your head felt too heavy. Nose too stuffy, too.

You scrolled through your phone. And may or may not have done a small dive into who this Alyssa girl could be. Then message after message started rolling in now that it was a little passed midnight. You’d get to them in the morning. You’d also stole his weed pen so you could relax a little bit.

So. Sucks to be him.

That’s when you heard the door open. Stomach flipping and mouthing, ‘fuck.’ Dropping your phone because if you could pretend you were asleep maybe he’d leave you fuck alone. Ugh he probably got the key from the front desk.

The television was still on and it’s not like he’d never walked in on you sleep in front of the TV before so he’d think nothing of it. Your back was facing the door so it’s not like he could see you. You’ll take your chances.

You heard crinkling and him shuffling a little, but you were mostly trying to be quiet. A few moments later you heard him getting down on his knees beside you. “Hey,” he whispered into your ear before kissing your temple.

Nope. Go away.

“I know you’re awake you little thief.” He chuckled, but then stopped when he realized you clearly weren’t giving in. Turning over away from him. Colin took a deep breath. “Babe, I’m sorry.”

Your eyebrow raised. Okay so maybe you weren’t expecting that.

“I’m sorry I lost you tonight,” he sighed. “I’m sorry for not talking about things sooner. And if I made you think there was anything going on with me and Alyssa. Who does not like me by the way. She’s into Ryan,” he added, with a chuckle.

You snorted out a laugh. “Seriously?” Finally breaking your silence.

“Uh huh.” He laughed. “I know right. They kept dragging me between them once he found out. I felt like I was in fucking middle school.”

Then it got quiet.

“I’m sorry if I made you think you were just a booty call,” he finally said.

Your eyes opened, but you still didn’t turn to face him. You weren’t really sure what you were supposed to say or do if you did.

“You have always been more than a booty call. I get that I’ve done things before, but I’d never treat you like that. Why do you think we haven’t had sex. I couldn’t have our first time be on that gross fucking couch.”

… fair.

Ugh.

UGH.

You wanted to pull his hair. Not even in the sexy way. He was so annoying. Why couldn’t you just have been asleep so you could have been mad at him for a little longer.

Colin didn’t wait for you to respond as he got in behind you. Scooping you into his arms from behind. “You’re my best friend, Baby. I’d never fuck us up. I don’t wanna lose you.” Then he started kissing your cheek softly.

“You’re so annoying,” you mumbled, but still didn’t turn over.

“Maybe,” he said. “But it’s cuz I can’t stand when you’re mad at me.” He sighed wrapping you up in his arms. “Remember that one time? And it was just over lyrics.” He chuckle. Then when he realized you weren’t laughing he sighed again. “I promise I’ll make tomorrow better. Well today. Or whatever. You know what I mean.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t run in here on some I have to be the first shit.” You finally turned to look at him and he was quick to kiss your forehead. Eyes ask puffy. Nosy really stuffy. He didn’t care. Just wanted to have his lips on you.

“I am, but now I can’t stop apologizing.” He chuckled. “I really am sorry.”

“We can work on your road to forgiveness plan.”

“As long as you’re the one paving it I’ll do whatever it takes.”

You rolled your eyes. “You’re so corny.”

“Maybe.” He chuckled. “I’m just trying to get you to smile.”

You sniffled. God he was so annoying. “I know.”

He looked at you softly before swiping his lips across yours. “Okay now I’m gonna be the first person. Happy birthday, Baby.”

Another sniffle as you couldn’t stop yourself from chuckling softly. “Thank you. How do you know you’re the first?”

“Oh you’re cool because all our little fan girls are wishing you a happy birthday,” he said with a laugh.

“You’re just jealous.”

“Never. You deserve it.”

“Stop being such a fucking sap right now.” You whined pushing him away.

“Nope. I actually have a surprise for you,” he said, letting go so he could get out of bed. “No peeking!” Then he kissed your cheek again.

Of course you weren’t gonna listen, but since he wasn’t made of glass you couldn’t see. His body blocking whatever view you may have had. Just heard the flicker of a lighter.

“So, I was gonna go with the old fashioned flowers and chocolate for an apology,” he started. “But since it’s your birthday,” he said as he turned around with a little cake in his hands, freshly lit numeral candles on top.

As he softly started to sing happy birthday you felt yourself tearing up again. Of course he had to do something like this. Sappy asshole. Just had to make it impossible to stay mad at him.

Now you were sitting with your legs criss crossed applesauce across from him. Not being able to help the smile that spread across your face.

“Make a wish, Baby,” he said. As you blew out the flame he looked at you softly. That same stupid romantic look in his eyes. And it was like you couldn’t help yourself as you started to lean in. Lips connecting and it almost felt relieving.

Colin pulled away for a minute to set the cake on the night stand. Going back to you he pull you onto his lap. Lips moving against yours as you wrapped your arms around his neck then put your hands in his hair.

He laid you down. Thumb stroking your cheek. Tongues finally meeting. Kisses deep. Now sleep was the farthest thing from your mind. You just wanted to feel him.

All of the thoughts about how that was it had melted away. If he was going to be serious about this than you wanted it. Wanted him. “Colin,” you whimpered. His lips going against your throat.

“What do you want, Baby?” He asked in a whisper.

“You.”

Clothes started to be removed. Hands and lips going to intimate spots. Like between your legs as he made sure your pussy would be ready for him. His mouth touching you just how you needed. Moans and sighs spilling from your lips.

“Y/N, Baby,” he whispered as he wrapped his arm around your leg so he could spread you open for him. Getting snug between your thighs as he lined himself up. “You sure? We don’t have-“

You cut him off with a kiss. He obviously got the message as he started to push into you. The head of his cock already making your head spin.

“Colin,” you whimpered against his lips.

“That’s it,” he said. “It’s okay. I got you.”

You nodded and moaned, foreheads resting against each other. Looking into those soft blue eyes as he inched in. “Ah,” you squeaked.

“You’ve got this,” he whispered into your ear as he finally bottomed out. Staying still for a moment so you could could used to him. Fuck he was big. You don’t think you’d ever felt this full before.

Hips rocking slowly as his lips went back to yours again. “Colin,” you whimpered again.

“So fucking beautiful,” he whispered as he looked down at you.

“More?”

“Tell me what you do want, Baby. I’ll do anything you want.”

“Harder. Please.” Fuck you felt desperate. He was just filling you up so good. Just how you needed him.

He pressed his lips to yours as he started getting deeper. Rolling his hips into yours. Then pushing your arm above your head with his hands holding yours down.

“Right there!” You pulled away with a gasp.

“Where?” He asked into your ear not stopping what he was doing before pulling your earlobe between his teeth. Nibbling on it. Making your eyes go blurry.

“Oh,” you let out another little squeak. That wasn’t good enough for Colin, though. He wanted you to scream his name.

He raised up off of you. Getting on his knees and pushing your legs up by your ears. Hands on the back of your thighs.

Every time he went in, your body bounced from the force. Pussy squeezing him tight. He looked between you seeing the way your wetness covered him. “Fuck,” he groaned. “Pussy even prettier with my dick in it.”

Why was he doing this to you. Was it not enough that he was about to turn you inside out? He had to talk to you like that too. Why was he trying to ruin you like this. He was fucking you like he wanted to be the only man to fuck you. Maybe he did. Maybe you wanted him to be.

“Ah, ah, ah, ah!” You cried out

“That’s it. That’s what I like to fucking hear. Doing so good for me, Baby,” he groaned. “Gonna fuck you all night. Keep you full a me. Want that?”

“Uh huh,” was all you could say. Your orgasm was hitting you so hard. “Colin. I’m cumming.” It was like you were weeping. “Oh my god.”

“Fuck yeah,” he groaned as your pussy tightened around him. Orgasm gushing out of you. “That’s my girl,” he said as he put his hand on your clit. Coaxing it out even more. “Keep cumming for me, Baby. That’s it.”

It happened so quickly. One minute he was fucking into you and then the next his face was between your thighs. If he was trying to make you squirt he got his wish. Your legs shaking, body spasming as he forced you there.

You covered your eyes with your hand just as he pushed back into you. Where he grabbed your arm to push it up so you were no longer covered. “Don’t you ever cover yourself, you hear me,” he said as he started fucking into you again. “I want you to look at me when I make you cum.” He put his lips against your chin.

Fuck. This was gonna be a long night.

You don’t know how many times you’d orgasmed. Just that it felt like once they started they didn’t stop. Just the way he was getting you there and trying to keep you there was almost too much. As soon as he came in you, you were ready to pass out. Your body officially worn out. But forced yourself to use the bathroom before bed even though walking really didn’t seem like a great option at the moment.

Then you got back in his arms. Snuggling into him. Colin holding you tight. It felt like where you were supposed to be.

As the sunlight broke, you were so worn out that you stayed like that for a minute. Him waking up first with your head tucked under his chin. Yawning and checking the time. Not that he cared. He’d stay like this for as long as you wanted him to.

When you started to stir, he nuzzled you with his nose. Kissing your forehead gently. “Morning, Birthday Girl,” he whispered in a raspy voice.

You moaned and stretched. Putting your head in his neck again. “Not yet.”

He chuckled. “We have to get to brunch.”

“There’s always dinner. I’m tired.”

He smacked your butt. “No, no, no. I’m not letting you sleep the day away. I gotta make up for yesterday.”

“Make up for yesterday by being my pillow. And we can have sex in between.”

Colin laughed softly. “As tempting as that is, we gotta get up.”

You took a deep breath out your nose. “Fine, but I get to pick off your plate.”

“When do you not?” He rubbed your back. Colin reached over to grab his phone to check the time. “Wait, what the fuck,” he chuckled.

“What?” You asked, with a yawn.

“James said, ‘I’m happy for you guys really but we’re going to breakfast without you if you don’t hurry up. Happy birthday y/n.”

You laughed. “What?”

“The one before it was stop having sex we’re hungry. Ryan said, ‘Colin stop being the Yoko Ono of this ba-‘I’m the Yoko On- oh now they’re fighting about it.”

You snorted. “They’re gonna argue about this all day, aren’t they?”

“Yeah probably.” Colin laughed.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

#Colin Shea smut #chris evans smut #Colin Shea x black!reader #Colin Shea x reader #Colin Shea x female!reader #chris evans x female reader #chris evans x poc!reader #chris evans x reader #chris evans x black!reader

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