#anyway i'd post more about them but my partner follows me on here and i can't spoil things for him ksjdfhgklhd

[miodiodavinci]

the latest in a long line of D&D characters ! ! ! please meet outis, my archaic warforged paladin ! ! ! they were originally built to find patterns in chaos and help guide travelers through hazardous places where rules are few and far between, though a recent expedition gone awry seems to have put an end to its career

even still, they're still on a journey to some place far, far away, though no one seems to know where—least of all outis w

doodle of how we usually end up drawing them in the ms paint session notes below the cut w

#miodoodledavinci #the unending agony i went through when i realized i was going to have to learn how to draw a horse for this build KJLSFHKHSLFK #listen i've wanted to play a centaur since forever and i just figured a big metal centaur would be easier to draw #(i was wrong) #anyway i'd post more about them but my partner follows me on here and i can't spoil things for him ksjdfhgklhd #all you need to know is it has a -2 dex mod and is apparently snarky as hell JSHLKHSFJK #sassy vaguely posh british bastard (affectionate) #oh also i had fun rendering the copper on this one w #oxidized copper my beloved <3 #the coolest emerald division

[copperbadge]

(same anon) I've been following you ever since I joined (recognised your name from the potter fandom lol) and I don't think of you as particularly oddly shaped, truly I don't. I have made two very good writer friends here/on AO3, one of whom only joined on here so we could chat, and with the other one I might meet up at some point this year! And there's nothing about these relationships that feels particularly parasocial to me. I think if you start looking or keep an open mind, tumblr is the only online place I would trust to actually deliver a real relationship (says the permanently single demisexual... so what do I know. but yeah :D)

I'm glad you're making friends in fandom!

I do think in some ways you're proving my point, though -- you don't think of me as someone who would struggle to date, but you only know me from tumblr. Even if you've known me from tumblr for a long time, which does convey more knowledge of a person, it's still a medium with a lot of filters on it, and I use those very deliberately at times.

And this is my community -- I don't want to be creeping on people here, even if I know how to go about it in a non-creepy fashion. When I was younger I did occasionally have relationships in fandom but they tended to end badly for reasons that eventually made me realize it was a bad idea to begin with. And at this point anyway it'd feel weird, like hitting on someone at a family reunion.

I'd love to think that as an amiable person who was literally diagnosed as charming I wouldn't struggle to find a partner, but that's why I think it's not really something I can change, it's just...a thing that is. Don't know why, but there's a lot of things I don't know. It's difficult to try the usual things, speed dating and singles nights and meetup groups and apps, and get consistent radio silence back while watching some real true dipshits find someone to tolerate them, but it's also reasonably hard data, especially after a certain sample size. There comes a point where you look at the potential return on investment and say, "Well, I guess that's not going to happen for me." It sounds sad and it is at times, but as I said in notes on the other post, I've never felt incomplete or like I couldn't go out and live life without a partner. It's just one part of life, and part of being an adult is accepting that we don't always get everything we want.

[an-aroaces-harem]

Ellis Twilight Chapter 2

DISCLAIMER: I just deepl and google translated my way through this because I wanted to know what’s going on, so there are definitely mistakes but I believe I managed the general gist of the story. Anyway, it’s just a fan-made translation solely for entertainment purposes. Ikemen Villains belongs to Cybird.

Another note: I know Ikemen Villains is set in victorian London, but I will use the japanese suffixes because I prefer them.

Ellis: Here you go, Jude.

Jude: ... Ah?

Jude-san looked stunned for a moment when he sa Ellis-kun who had brought me with him.

Surprinsingly, he said nothing.

(... Or rather)

Kate: I will accompany you as a fairytale writer, thank you very much.

Jude: ... Tch.

He clicked his tongue at Ellis-kun, who seemed to realize that there was no point in saying anything, and completely ignored my presence.

Ellis: I delivered the offer to the procurement department last night, which is leaving today.

Jude: Of course. If it doesn't arrive first thing in the morning, I'll have to take a pay cut.

(I can't believe you're working for Crown and you're even working for the company. ... You're both so busy.)

I followed alongside Ellis-kun behind Jude-san, silently observing him as not to disturb him.

I found out through observation that ...

Jude-san runs Raven, a diversified trading company ...

... they were doing a wide range of business with branches abrod.

He had a business meeting in the VIP room of one of the best department stores in London, had a meeting with the inspector at the Port pf London ...

The time that follows the two of them around flies by in a flash.

And speaking of the two working together ...

Jude: No deals until this is settled.

Jude: You were dishonest, so you deserved it. If you don't want to get out of debt, then spit up blood and make up for it.

Jude-san has a sharp tongue and a sharp mind ...

It seemed that business partners looked up to him, business rivals envied him, and employees were in awe of him.

On the other hand ...

Ellis: Fine, I'll take care of the rest.

Ellis: I'll teach you what you don't know and we'll fix it together.

Soft-spoken and attentive, Ellis-kun was well-liked both inside and outside the company wherever he went.

(They're kind of brilliant opposites, aren't they?)

In the meantime, the short hand of the Big Ben was about to pass the apex.

Jude: I don't want the writer to follow me. I don't know what they'll say if I show up with extras.

Ellis: Mm-hmm. Okay.

Kate: Thank you for allowing me to accompany you.

Jude: I can't wait to see if I can say the same thing the next time we see each other.

(What does that mean ...?)

I tilt my head, not understanding what he means.

Jude: You brought him here, so you should clean yourself up. I can't touch you.

Ellis: Yeah ... that's the plan.

(... I guess Ellis-kun gets the message.)

Jude-san walks away without so much as a glance at me, and Ellis-kun turns to me.

Ellis: You're tired. I'm sorry I brought you around.

Kate: No, not at all! I am physically strong. I was trained as a mail carrier.

Ellis: I see. I'm glad. ... Then, let's go to the next one.

Ellis: Can you hang out with me just a little bit longer?

I was asked to go out with him a little longer, and here I am ...

(Why are we here ...!?)

It was the post office where I worked.

When I was hesitant because of the crowd, Ellis-kun turned around.

Ellis: What's wrong?

(That's as much as I'd ask ...)

Kate: It's my workplace, so I know a lot of people, but ... is it okay if I meet them more than a month in advance?

Ellis: Victor said there are no restrictions except for going out alone, so why not?

I blinked at the answer, which was more laid back than I expected.

(That's not what a person being monitored says, but ... is that okay??)

Ellis: I have some mail I want to send. I'll go take care of it.

Kate: Yes ...

Moreover, leaving me there, Ellis-kun heads for the counter.

(What if I ask someone for help or something and confidental information is leaked ...)

I can't hide my bewilderment at how carefree the 'surveillance' is.

(At least, I guess that means Ellis-kun trusts that I would never do such a thing.)

(Or rather ...)

(If information is leaked, at that point, everyone who knows about it, including me, will be dealt with ...)

... "Shall we kill her?"

When I remembered that he had made such a remark, without hesitation, I shook my head in a panic ...

Coworker with braids: Kate!?

Kate: Ah.

Coworker with braids: Kate! Hey guys, Kate's here!

At the sound of her voice, our coworkers notice and gather around me.

Coworker with red hair: Kate, how can you suddenly be serving in the palace?

Coworker with black eyes: We were all worried.

(I just suddenly stopped coming to the office, and they are so worried about me.)

(Even more, I can't tell them.)

(And that I don't know if I'll be able to come back safely in a month, ever.)

(But ...)

Not wanting to cause worry, I gulp down my anxiety.

Kate: I'll be fine. But it's only my first day, and I don't know what's right or wrong.

Kate: I'm sure I'll figure it out.

Coworker with braids: I'm sure that a person who has turned Sleigh and Kramer into good costumers will be fine no matter where they go.

Coworker with red hair: I'd miss you if you were suddenly gone.

Kate: I'm ... really sorry about that. It's something beyond my control.

Coworker with braids: Well, it's not every day you get an order from the Palace that you turn it down.

Coworker with blick eyes: But I'm rooting for you, Kate.

Coworker with red hair: Hey, take this!

Coworker with red hair: I bought it for all of us to give to you if you stopped by. I'm glad I was able to give it to you.

Kate: Oh ... so much?

My arms are piled with gifts of this and that.

Blanket, cookies from my favourite store, and a letter from the colleagues.

Kate: Thank you ...

I'm holding my happiness in my arms, but I can't move an inch because I'm afraid I'll drop something if I move ...

Ellis: I'll take it. Give it to me.

The baggage is snatched from next to me.

The eyes of my colleagues turned in unison to Ellis-kun.

Coworker with braids: Who ... is he? Kate's boyfriend?

Coworker with red hair: Oh, I know him! He's the kid who escorts the scary traders.

It was a complete beehive of activity.

Coworker with braids: Kate, please explain your relationship with this handsome man!

Kate: Ummm ... we know each other from our work at the palace, we just met yesterday.

Coworker with braids: Hmm ... that seems a bit close for my taste, though.

Coworker with red hair: I doubt that ...!

Kate: Hey, everybody, just calm down ...

As I'm placating my excited coworkers, Ellis-kun takes the rest of the luggage, all of it, out of my arms.

Ellis: I'm sorry for all the fuss. I'll wait for you outside.

Kate: Oh ... I'm sorry too! I'll be right there.

Ellis: Take your time.

I give a small bow to everyone and see Ellis-kun off to the outside.

(I'm sorry I put you on the spot ...)

Coworker with braids: Marriage before return, huh?

Coworker with red hair: Congratulations!

Kate: I'm telling you, it's not ...!

... The commotion eventually died down when the director's voice came from the back of the room, saying "That's enough of that".

After exchanging a few words with my colleagues, I went outside to find Ellis-kun waiting for me, leaning against a lamppost with his luggage.

(Even from a distance, it's quite a view.)

With his supple body and long arms and legs, he stands out in the city.

Kate: Sorry to keep you waiting.

Ellis: No, not at all. ... You could have talked to them more.

Kate: It's okay! Um, my colleagues made a terribly rude remark ...

Even though I only work with him, they may have made him feel uncomfortable by calling him my boyfriend.

(Something I wish I could apologize for ... Oh, yes.)

Kate: There is a good baguette restaurant near here. Let me treat you there as an apology.

Ellis: ...

His eyes, filled with light, stare at me as if they have found something.

Ellis: I think I understand a little better why you get so many gifts.

Kate: Eh ...?

Holding a large bag full of gifts from my colleagues, Ellis-kun stepped out to me and ...

... he brought his face so close to mine that our foreheads touched.

Ellis: No, you don't have to treat me, but I'm curious about the restaurants you recommend.

(... Ellis-kun, I don't understand what's talking about.)

But surely, his kindness had penetrated my heart.

As evidence, my second meal with Ellis-kun was much more pleasant than the breakfast.

Kate: Wow, it's late ...

When we left the restaurant, dusk was approaching.

Ellis: ... Let's go back to the castle.

Ellis-kun looked out at the cityscape as it was beginning to darken, absentmindedly.

It was the first time I had heard a slightly urgent voice, and I immediately realized that he was excited.

(I'm sorry to keep you up at this hour, but maybe he had plans for the evening.)

Kate: If we go down the alley this way, we can take a little shortcut.

With the knowledge I had acquired as a postwoman, I entered a narrow alley.

Ellis: Ah ...

Ellis: Well, I guess it'll be okay if we're together.

The sun is being blocked out, and the alleyway's growing dim.

It was almost time to get out into the lighted street.

Men in hunting capes: ...

Suddenly, a man appeared to block the way, and I tried to pass him by avoiding him on the side of the road.

(What ...?)

A man stepped forward, but his path was blocked.

Feeling something strange in the air, I turn around and see two men appear from behind me as well.

Man in hunting cape: Jude Jazza's woman?

(Jude-san?)

Kate: No, I'm sorry I'm not ... but who are you?

Man in hunting cape: We'll check the facts later. Catch her.

The three men suddenly took things out of their pockets and attacked.

(What ... eh!?)

Ellis: Kate-san, hold this for me for a moment.

Kate: Wah ...!

Confused, I accept the package containing the gifts from my colleagues.

Ellis-kun pulled out a black-bladed knife, which bounced off the blade of the man in front of the group.

Ellis: It might be a little scary, but it'll be over soon.

(...)

While I am speechless, he is knocking them down one by one, just as he said "It'll be over soon".

He pulled out his knife to counter the blade, and basically just his long arms and legs seemed to suffice.

Ellis: Good job.

The unconscious men were lined up tightly on the shoulder of the road ...

When Ellis-kun's hand touched the top of their heads like a finishing touch ...

... the wrists of the men, still unconscious, snapped together as if in prayer.

Kate: Oh my god ...! How did you do that?

Ellis: When I touch the head, I can detain the wrist like this.

(I just remembered ...)

... a 'cursed' person possesses abilities that ordinary people do not have.

In the back of my head, Roger-san's voice comes back to me.

Kate: Is that ... what Ellis-kun is capable of?

Ellis: Yes. That's right. It's so much easier not to need a rope at times like this.

Ellis-kun came over smiling as if he had finished his work.

He took the package from my arms again.

Ellis: Jude has a lot of enemies everywhere, so he often gets attacked like this.

Ellis: It was unusual for him to have a woman around, so I guess that gave them the wrong idea.

(Resentment ... I see.)

What I can understand is the result of observing the work during the day.

(It must be a tough job at a trading company to be attacked like this on a daily basis.)

Ellis: ... I'm sorry.

Kate: Ellis-kun has nothing to apologize for! Thank you for protecting me.

But Ellis-kun lowered his eyebrows and shook his head.

Ellis: Actually, I could have predicted this. This is what might happen if I took you out.

Ellis: But ... when you found out I was going to work today, you looked worried.

Ellis: I was selfish and got carried away. ... So, I'm sorry.

(Ellis-kun ...)

I know it sounds selfish, but I want you to know that everything you did today was for me ...

I already knew enough.

(The breakfast, the stories he told me about the members of Crown, the fact that he let me accompany him to work ...)

(Maybe, he even took me to the post office.)

Kate: I've been happy all day ... so there's nothing to apologize for.

I smile to tell Ellis-kun that I appreciate his kindness.

Ellis: ... Hm, good.

The smile on Ellis-kun's lips was as warm as the last light of the day ...

Perhaps it was because the approaching darkness made me feel impatient ... I felt a strange stirring in my chest.

When I return to my room, I open the package of gifts from my coworkers.

"Kate, I care about you."

"Please let me know when ..."

The kind words in the letter from my colleague touched my heart deeply.

(I'm glad Ellis-kun took me to the post office so that I could receive this.)

Ellis-kun tried to make me smile, so I feel very happy right now.

I stepped into a different world.

I can't go back to my daily life for a month ...

I was so frightened, and I felt like he was telling me "It's going to be okay."

(I'm feeling more confident than this morning that I can make it through the month.)

(Especially if Ellis-kun is with me.)

... And the next morning, with new determination.

Victor: I heard that Jude's business partner attacked you yesterday?

Kate: Oh, yes, but thanks to Ellis-kun, nothing happened.

Victor: It's a good thing, though ... before the contract expires ...

Victor: That means Crown's confidential information is at risk, too! Isn't that right?

Ellis: Yeah.

Jude: I have a bad feeling about this.

In response to his grumpy voice, Victor plastered a big smile on his face ...

Victor: Good, Jude, Ellis.

Victor: I want you two to be responsible to guard Kate!

(What!?)

Jude: Hah?

Ellis: ... Guard?

#ikemen villains #ikevil #ikemen villains ellis #ellis twilight #resa translates something for once?

[mirx-xko-offical]

Falling for you?

Hurt!Floyd x GN!Reader

TWs: None<3 (I think-)

INFO~

ALREADY ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP FLOYD BEING A TOTAL DUMBASS (We still love him tho) IMPLIED GN READER Also not proof read but I'll worry abt that later-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What do you mean by, You simply fell again?"

"I meant I fell, what else."

"YOU GOT BLASTED OUT OF A WINDOW-"

"And..?"

"Oh my sevens..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Who wouldn't just love to have their own personal nurse? Floyd surely should especially with how much [Name] needs to help him. Floyd always seem to shake it off though. Speaking about [Name], here they are patching him up YET again.

"And how did this happen..?" [Name] said as they stood in the nurses office with the twins, seeming done with their life already.

"I fell." Floyd shrugged only getting 'Are you sure' stares from his partner. "Jade? What happened to him?" [Name] Turned to the slightly smaller twin, clearly not trusting their boyfriend one bit.

"Well we had some complications while in professor Crewels class."

"And..?"

"He got blasted out of the window."

The look on [Name]'s face as they turned to look at their boyfriend who was just looking out the window as if nothing had just happened. "You got thrown out of a window and you're telling me you tripped??"

"Yep." Floyd looked over to his partner, leaning back into the bed seeming to not care. "HOW ARE YOU SO CALM ABOUT THIS!?" They panicked as they ran to cup the merman's cheeks, carefully checking for injuries.

"I'm fine~ like I said, I just fell." All his partner gave him was a sigh before shooing his brother out and simply grabbing band aids and a small wrap of bandages. "Did you at least break anything..?"

"Nope."

"How the fu... Whatever I give up on questioning things."

[Name] simply shrugged before grabbing some alcohol and cotton balls. "Well since you survived that fall without breaking anything, I don't think I'd need to warn you about the alcohol." [Name] assumed, pouring some of the liquid onto the small, fluffy ball

"Yeah, yeah whatever." Floyd simply grumbled, his mood swinging quite a bit. "Just get it over with- OW!" Floyd jumped as [Name] placed the cotton ball on Floyd's cheek, making him jump in surprise.

"Be easy jeez!"

"How the hell did that hurt!?"

"Now it stings!" Floyd whined as [Name] gave him another look. "No way you could handle a two story drop but not some alcohol..." [Name] was nonetheless getting tired of their boyfriends antics.

[Name] sighed before applying the alcohol to his cuts and bandaged him up, giving him a kiss on the cheek as a reward for not whining as much as he usually would.

"Now the hard part is over." [Name] mumbled, seemingly talking to them self more than their partner. "Meh. That just means I gotta go to work now~" [Name] smacked him on the head before dragging him out of the nurses office.

"Off you go. I have to go check on grim anyways." [Name] shoved him off of them, running away before he could latch himself on them again.

"Awh..."

Why is Floyd so silly to write 🤭

Anyways this is my first time writing on here and I kinda didn't know what to do yet so here you guys go <3

I also might start posting on wattpad again (If I have motivation-) so if you want to, go follow! (Pls do not read my other stories, half of them were given up on...)

Account<3

#floyd leech x reader #twst x you #twst x reader #disney twst #floyd leech x mc #floyd leech #jade leech #silly #kinda rushed #Mirx Writes

[ditch-lily]

so I wanna do a little trip/photo dump of my latest jeffy adventure. I may delete this who knows but for now, adventures below!

I tbh wasn't at my best during this trip, I had a bit of a not fun ocd episode while traveling and I do feel like I spent most of the trip trying to get back to my baseline okayness - so to my lovely friends and travel partners thanks for being awesome and treating me with kindness!! I really, really appreciated it 💖💖

okay now time for obnoxious trip slideshow haha

chiang rai was beautiful. we went to an insanely gorgeous garden cafe on the first day

on the second, we went to the white and blue temples

btw I love doing street photography so 2 of my favs from chiang rai:

and now...jeffy day

tbh by the time Jeff was onstage I'd been standing around since 2pm (he got on stage...at 10pm 😭) the things We Do for Barricade. I was soooo sweaty and frazzled by then

it was a very cool set up tho! it was a little music festival, lots of food/etc, and they lit up hot air balloons over our heads

we saw a few performers and slot machine!! who were right before jeff. finally got to see them live and ohmygod did they pop off!! at one point they were in front of us just tearing up the stage for ages, they threw guitar picks at us haha (I did not catch one lol)

and then jeff.....look we all know how that went down

but here's a screenshot of when he Looked at me the first time and i fucking realized if I can see them.....they can see me. no??? jfc i think i like super reacted, flailed backwards a bit I think. i prefer to not beobserved okay?? but anyway and that's why he came for my throat later i believe. demon

then look after jeff it was just jumpscare after jumpscare, bumping into his band member at midnight in our hotel lobby (all the musicians and sound crew were having a big drinking party on the steps of the hotel. jeff wasn't there tho) and then the next morning bumping into rasika checking out etc etc

okay some of my fits on the trip! day 1, then jeffy day and the next travel day, which ended up being the Day we followed Jeff and his team around at the airport, unintentionally

each of these in front of the cupboard nowhere near as good as jeffs lol

some of the treasures i got at the show! these are mainly bread's amazing creations. @patpran thank you so much i adore my jeffy cat stickers ;.;

also (made by another fan) the jeffy pop socket i'm screaming,,,,,should i put it on my phone..

okay now bkk!! i got a few street shots cause i love doing that

then witnessed jeff on the bts and found some cat pants

and went plus size shopping at platinum mall. i knew about the names before hand but oh my god im laughing

and then!!! bang sue junction, which is mile and apo's fav hang out spot for vintage shopping. sadly we didn't bump into them. but it was such an awesome place to explore

we also wrote a lil letter each and wrapped up some presents to send to jeff. i would like to say it takes 2+ ppl to puzzle out a thailand post box and how to put it together (and there was only 2 of us at that point lol ;.;)

okay i was gonna add more but that's heaps, i think. despite my brain being frazzled 24/7 on this trip it was a good one. thank you so much to @patpran who showed me all the cool places and was a very lovely travel partner!!! you were awesome!!!

i'm honestly so grateful i got to go, and have these experiences ahhhhh, i'm gonna treasure it (sorry post trip emo-ness) anyway i gotta get back to work now but, if you've read this far, you're a star haha <3

#oh my god sorry this got long #personal #might delete later #but ahhh what a trip #i'm so emo now after writing this up!!! #and feel so lucky that i've gotten to go

[celluloidbroomcloset]

"I dunno - maybe I just resist the idea that Ed hated himself so much that he’d fuck someone as vicious as that."

I've only been loosely following the discussion these past couple of days, so I may be missing things, but I think that statement up there may be where the misunderstanding has been coming from? In that it's not a disagreement about the show itself, but just a different philosophical understanding of casual sex to begin with.

Who you have sex with does not intrinsically say anything about you as a person or imply that you hate yourself just because you fucked someone who may be shitty. (Which, Ed does canonically hate himself, that's a big thing about himself, but irrelevant to the point I'm making here in any case)

Jack was someone he had fun with and who was easily available, someone who he's initially excited enough to see again even after years because he's someone he's obviously associated with fun in the past, and sex here is just a different kind of fun, it really doesn't have to mean anything more than that or imply any damning thing about Ed as a person just because of his choice of partner for a hookup. I think that is in fact a pretty big part of it, that the kind of sex Ed had before Stede was always meaningless and lacking a deeper connection, just something to do for a fleeting bit of fun with whoever was around and willing, and he's tired of it by the time Stede comes around, and shows him that he can actually aspire to better than the only thing that's ever been an option to him in the past.

Ed enjoying rowdier fun and casual unattached sex is a value neutral statement, there's nothing inherently wrong with that by itself, nor does it denote anything wrong with Ed's character just because some of his partners may have been shitty people (other than maybe bad taste). There are many toxic things about pirate culture in general and Jack specifically as a person and in his relationship with Ed, but that aspect of it is not actually one of them.

Anyway, I feel like I'm talking in circles a bit, but I get the impression that's what originated all the discourse: people's issue seems to be not so much with your preference to interpret Jack as lying here, but the fact that your reasoning to dismiss the option that he's telling the truth seems to be coming from a place with some unfortunate implications about casual sex and the people who engage in it, that other people don't necessarily share, so for them Ed and Jack having sex does not actually grant Jack this undue power over Ed that you've been referring to.

I apologise if I'm out of line and overstepping here, I know this can be more of a personal matter. It just seemed to me to be a big blind spot in this conversation, so I thought it might be worth pointing it out to hopefully shed some clarity.

K, I'm gonna try to unpack this and be as clear as I can about what I actually think, because this is getting complicated. I've no clue if this is what people are actually taking away from this conversation, and a lot of what I'd originally said was unclear on my part and then ran away from me, so now there's a Discourse that goes beyond what I'd intended or meant.

No, I do not hold the opinion that casual sex is bad or wrong. Yes, it is a neutral thing. For some people, it's awesome and they love it; for others, it makes them feel shitty and they'd rather not do it. That's down to the individual. I am strongly of the opinion that everyone should do what feels right for them, as long as the people involved are consenting to it. Human relationships are complicated.

In terms of Ed: no, there is nothing wrong with him fucking whomever he likes (with consent). That includes Jack. If I ever implied otherwise, I am sorry.

Ed having had bad partners is not a value judgment on him. Ed thinking he only deserves bad partners and that the only way he can be touched is with violence makes me very sad for Ed. What I said in the previous post is entirely my emotional reaction; maybe I just see how fucking awful Jack is and I'd rather that Ed not have been subjected to his fucking awfulness. That's not blaming Ed for having had a bad partner, but preferring that he not have had a bad partner.

In terms of Ed's characterization, I think this gets more complicated. We see Ed desiring things that he hasn't gotten: intimacy, softness, gentleness. We see him wanting Stede to hold him, and not knowing how to ask for that except via a violent game. That implies that at least some of Ed's past has not been satisfying for Ed. He's not seeking out yet another casual fling but an intimacy that he has been denied in the past and that he wants. TBH, I largely read Ed as one of those people who does not actually want casual sex but does it because he wants closeness and pleasure and that's his only option. Is that the only way to read him? No, not at all. Just my opinion.

Jack does absolutely read to me as someone who mistreats his partners, and who does not care either about their comfort or their pleasure or, for that matter, their consent.

I've tried several times now to explain what I meant by giving Jack power, which I did not mean to do with the characters in-world but with Jack's power in the narrative. This was originally (I think?) in the context of Jack defining Ed's sexuality for the viewer, and that's where I think we may be granting Jack too much power to define who Ed is. Maybe this is still overly muddled, but I was never trying to say that if Ed and Jack had sex, Jack controls Ed.

All of this is solely my read of the characters and the way the show is constructed. None of this is prescriptive, none of this is "this is the only the way to understand these characters and their relationships and everyone else is wrong and bad." My frustration has been with myself, for kneejerk reactions and not being able to express my opinion on this clearly, and the way in which some statements have been taken out of context and seem to have gotten away from the original conversation, so that I'm feeling more than a little defensive about it. I'm also a bit frustrated at some of the hostility towards a differing interpretation of a scene in a TV show, which has also made me feel defensive. This, however, is a me problem.

A number of the conversations that have grown out of this I've found very valuable and interesting and I respect others' opinions, and despite appearances, all I really want to do is discuss these things with other fans. I really don't mean to be hostile at all.

#ofmd #our flag means death #edward teach #calico jack #stede bonnet #ofmd meta

[crayonfears]

So my other question is: Do you also have Aus of those 2 losers for example: What If they never met as Children and only discovered each other in Adulthood? Or What If Han Seok won and Vincenzo lost and South Korea left? Or What If People thought that Jung Woo was Han Seo’s secret lover? Or What If both of them didn’t die 💀 or the biggest What if is more for me : What would have happened If Han Seo never betrayed his Hyungnim?? lol I don’t think that JUST 1 question 🥲 but I think you get what I mean. Really excited for your response <3 (btw do want a nickname from me or should I just call you my friend ? :3)

hi there, al! these images 😭 am i getting bullied or lovebombed right now i can't even tell 😂

oh, brother (gender neutral), i've got AUs upon AUs for these guys haha. i've been in the jangrbos trenches for nearly a year now, i can't even begin to tell you all the AUs i've come up for them. i can't remember most of them cuz i just have so many now 😂 i'll follow your example for now, which yes i've come up with and thought about so much in the past. the first one is interesting! though tbh i do like the idea of them having met as children but then got separated for some reasons and then later meet again as adults much more. a friend in the fandom and i used to talk about it a lot haha - called it the Seperation AU (not very creative ik 🙈). there are so many versions of it too, changing depending on how/when they were seperated and how/when they meet again as adults. i've got two versions i'm writing right now and if all goes well then those will be the next fics i'll posted haha

and i most definitely think people thought jun woo was han seo's secret lover because the guy just became partner overnight, which came from han seo's order haha. imagine han seok getting it in his head that they shoul start a fake relationship too, after he heard the rumors. it woul make scheming so much easier since people would stop questioning why he's always with the CEO of babel haha. han seok getting too into it, wanting to make it look real while han seo's just bewildered at how han seok doesn't seem at all disturbed at the idea of being in a relationship with his brother 😂

for post-canon, han seo and han seok are always alive to me. that ending never happened at all because it fucking sucked, end of story 🙈 also given the chance i'd kill vincenzo a hundred times over so he's always dead in my AUs if he even appears in them at all 😂 or well, sometimes he's there for comedic purpose or to further the plot like so many characters were used in the show to further his developement - i am very bitter about vincenzo, yes, why do you ask? anyways, i think han seok would start appreciate han seo's meaning in his life more. takes nothing less than a near-death experience for him to start seeing the good things in life, eh? that's just me being fluffy though. i've seen so many angsty and torture filled post-canon AUs out there so here's a little something to contrast that ig haha

if han seo never betrayed han seok, i don't think much would've happened in their relationship, actually. vincenzo, as suckass as he was, really was the catalyst for change, for han seo to react further. i'm sure he's tried to run/fight back in the back - can't think of his bratty ass always being obedient - and vincenzo is the thing that really made him think he could win this time around. idk, that's just my thought.

(i go by crayon on here but you can call me anything you like 😊)

#the-ace-friend #jang bros #jang han seo #jang han seok #sorry if this reponse is no good; i'm a little out of it today - it's been a long day ;; #but i do have so many jangbros AUs that i've gatekept for so long cuz i keep telling myself i'd write them haha #would love to talk about them tho; just gotta remember what i got lol #*crayonspeaks #ask

[starforger]

Looking for Contact: Maha Lucrette | Mateus

Tentatively putting some feelers out there for potential RP. I'm kinda shy and anxious in general, but I love writing Maha and I tend to get into a groove with her. I'm currently in the GMT +9 timezone, typically more active in the morning over the evening, weekday over weekend, but it varies. I prefer to RP in game over other mediums like tumblr or discord- I just like having the visuals around (and don't like giving out my discord to people I'm not familiar with.)

Some things to note:

- I am an adult and open to RPing dark/horror themes, all that is good with me. My only hard nos are extremely detailed torture/gore scenes and sexual violence. - On that note, I am not looking for anything sexual or even romantic. Flirting is NBD, but it wont go anywhere with my character. - When RPing, I try really hard to focus on my partner(s), especially if there are a lot of people around, but chances are I might miss your post anyway, so just give me a gentle nudge if I'm slow to respond. - I am not looking for a free company. However, if you've got an RP linkshell, I'd love to be a part of it (provided it fits the scope of my character!) - Adventure and exploration RPs are my favorites. Maha's not a traditional Keeper, and is somewhat well-traveled, so she is up for a good variety of things! - I am often a package deal with Lithen, so if you get Maha, you'll probably get her too (should time allow it!)

Here's some details about Maha that might help you approach her!

- Maha was born in the Shroud to a nomadic clan of Lyehga keepers. Though her clan moved around a lot, chances are they met with others in passing. They also attended yearly meets to discuss hunting grounds, news, and trade with other clans. Maha left her own clan at the ripe age of thirteen, and has not traveled with them since. But she might have met with other young keepers at the time, or even the adults. She was an odd child, fond of collecting weird, dead things from the forest that might have shocked or disturbed other kids. - Maha hopped ships to Thavnair to escape the Coeurlclaws murderous intent, following a nasty incident that took place back when she was still involved with them. She was taken in by an alchemist who had recently lost his own family, and trained in the ways of Hannish alchemy. She grew up in relative comfort in Radz-at-Han, and had most likely crossed paths with residents and visitors of the splendorous city during those days. Though she picked up a few new hobbies, she was most recognizable for her unique blends and tinctures, surviving off the knowledge gained from her days with her clan. - Ten-some odd years later, Maha finally returns to Aldenard and obtains permissions to open a small potions stall in Ul'dah's Sapphire Avenue. Her shop was usually open during later hours, from afternoon to midnight, and featured brews unique to keeper culture and tradition. She spent a couple years in Ul'dah, earning her keep before finally moving on. She was no doubt a common sight in Sapphire Avenue, as well as near the Goldsmith's, Weaver's, and Alchemist's guilds. - To this day, Maha lives in the Twelveswood, in a remote sanctuary in the forest she has made all her own. Her treehouse is warded against ne'er-do-wells with psychedelic, gaseous traps- only the worthy are given the correct directions to her home. She lives here in defiance of both the Coeurlclaws and her birth clan, proving that she can withstand the demands of the forest by her own merit. Those given proper directions to her home may find a shelter from the wilds, a den of rest and relaxation, as well as a store of curios and potions to strengthen the mind and body. - However, Maha is not limited solely to her corner of the wood. She travels every now and again, and can be sighted all over Eorzea, mainly visiting cities for local fare, attending parties thrown to the public, and vacationing with her wife, Lithen. Her hobbies vary wildly- she even did a brief stint as a performer for a couple of venues, before she decided she wanted to do something else with her time. She also really loves the Gold Saucer. There are a number of possibilities in which one could have encountered Maha in the wild.

It probably goes without saying that this post is subject to change pending character development, or if I remembered something I've forgotten, or w/e. If ever you're not sure about some detail about Maha, feel free to ask! I know we're all anxious creatures that just want to write stories with each other, and I am no different. If you're interested in setting something up, you can contact me here on tumblr, or in game (I'm Maha Lucrette on Mateus/Crystal DC.)

Thanks for reading!

#insp: maha (ffxiv) #ffxiv rp #mateus rp #crystal dc rp #FINALLY done. i think.

[captain-aralias]

giving birth

idk, i'm pretty sure some people wouldn't write a post about going into labour on tumblr, but it's a thing i wanted to write about, so - it's here if you want it! if you'd rather avoid, don't click the read more.

things normal people might want to know outside the cut:

baby is now 11 days old <3 things are generally going well. i sleep between about 11pm and 3am, and then again 8am to 10am

it's been hard to get enough brain together to write a post like this, reply to comments, read fic, etc, as many of my most cogent hours have been visitor hours or hanging out with my partner. the night shift is not a good time to do things that aren't watching TV. i've managed to Read Half a Book (daisy jones and the six - easy going, i like it)

i was going to cosplay him as baby simon snow left at the orphanage, but he looks nothing like simon (much more like baz - currently: grey eyes, reddish-gold skin, dark hair), and also i don't want to write on my baby :o

surprise fourth entry: we think the terrace house next door has been turned into a brothel ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ok - birth stuff after this. not too much gory detail, probs, but some.

the beginning part you already know!

waters broke on thursday 11th, just after i woke up. this was two days after the stitch was removed, and therefore almost certainly related, so hooray for stitch! kept the baby in until 37 weeks.

i'd been worried that i might not realise my waters had broken, as apparently this is totally possible. i am here to tell you - that YES, it is possible. i clocked what it probably was immediately, but also it wasn't a 4 cups of liquid is everywhere sort of deal, it was more like - about half a cup every hour or so. and so i thought - this is probably what is happening, but maybe it's not and i should have done more pelvic floor exercises.

went to hospital. got hooked up to the machine that monitors baby heartbeat and movement. nothing much happening, although heartbeat all ok. the midwife on duty was called 'merlyn' - true story.

she asked me to walk around for a bit and come back, so my partner and i walked to the costa coffee inside the hospital. i ordered one of the new 'bubble' drinks, because i thought - why not? it's sugary and cold, these are things that make babies move. the drink was...... not good. blueberry slushy with cream on top and bubbles that were a) too big to fit through the absolutely normal straw and b) apparently were a cross between blueberries and popping boba. i say apparently as i'd given up by then and my partner ate them.

anyway - this detail included just to show you how surreal and nothingy early labour was. we walked back, hooked back up to the machine. baby now kicking a bit, and merlyn asked me whether i just had a really high pain tolerance and therefore wasn't upset about the contractions. i said, 'i dont know - guess we're about to find out' 🤔

agreed i probably wasn't in labour yet, so i was sent home, but asked to come back at 4.30 for my pre-scheduled scan with the nice doctor who first realised my cervix was open, and who we've seen regularly since (because my partner rang to complain when we had no follow up, and because this doctor was the one who rang us back and then made sure we were seen afterwards. not brilliant work from NHS administrators).

was also told if i didn't go into labour before hand, to come back at 8.30am (24 hours after waters broken) to be induced. given leaflet about induction methods. key take away - could take up to 3 days. sounds terrible.

home for 2 hours, back to hospital for scan.

we were waiting around for about half an hour. shown in - doctor says, 'we've had some difficult patients today, sorry! but you should be easy'. my partner tells her my waters have broken - she's surprised! (but pleased) no one has managed to tell her or put it in any notes, which she just reviewed. again - great job. i do love you NHS, but what is going on? a student midwife is trying to scan me - and has had to deal with all these previous difficult cases. with little amniotic fluid left, her job is basically impossible. sorry :'(

but - waters breaking confirmed! honestly, until that point i was still not sure. doctor says, induction could be offered immediately, but we mostly don't do that as in almost all cases you go into labour before 24 hours. i said thank you again for spotting my cervix being open. weird to think we won't see her again!!

went home. watched the end of 'little dorrit' (overall - it's good. so many famous people. the ending is a bit all over the place, though). about 9pm started feeling period-pain type pain. figured: probably a contraction! definitely did not feel like i expected in that there was no real release. it was just - now you're having a painful period. i called maternity triage again to say there was blood in the water now, and they reminded me that was totally normal (mucus plug, i guess) and to come back when things were serious.

so - i went to sleep.

woke up at about 2am. contractions now serious business, but also still... not as serious as i'd expected. again: basically it felt like period pain, this time crossed with constipation. and then it would go away, and i'd feel totally normal again, which i was not expecting.

we'd been told to come in when the contractions were every 5 minutes for an hour. my contractions were coming about ever 2-3 minutes. after about 20 minutes, i told my partner that i wanted to go to the hospital now, even if we should really wait. this was the RIGHT decision.

i'm the only one who can drive our car. it was obviously not a good idea to drive the car. i called an uber. unfortunately the labour ward is on the other side of the hospital to the main entrance, and doesn't have an address you can give uber..... retrospectively i'd have done better just putting in the street, like i usually did, but i tried to use the labour ward post code. we ended up at the main entrance, which was shut.

erin (my partner) keeps telling people that the uber drive was annoyed i slammed the door of his car, but i honestly do not remember this. the drive was about 10 minutes, during which i alternated between feeling bad and feeling totally fine.

we didn't bother trying to direct the driver to the right part of the hospital, just got out. erin wanted to go and get a wheelchair, but i didn't want to just sit on the ground outside the hospital in the middle of the night while she did that, and i felt completely fine ... except when i didn't.

so we walked to the labour ward. it's about 5 minutes from the entrance. i sat on the floor when the contractions came. then walked again. cool times.

arrived at maternity triage. again, it felt like going there every other time we'd ever been there - my key take away is that most of being in labour was extremely underwhelming. pain was not great, to the extent that i was thinking 'i can see why people don't like labour, maybe this was a terrible idea', but i could still think things like that. they hooked me up to the same machine as they had in the morning, and this time it said - yes, definitely in labour (which i knew, but ho hum - it was doing its best!).

asked to confirm i was a low risk pregnancy. we were like - nope, don't think so. ivf, stitch, isnt that in the notes??

a midwife came over and was like - "WOW, you're 8cm dilated." (of the necessary 10cm) at which point they started to take everything a bit more seriously. but they also described a bunch of pain relief options - and i was like, whatever, give me whatever i can have. and then was told - oh no, you actually can't have pethadine, water birth, or epidural of these as you're too far along. (which i also knew, but then why offer?)

i'd sort of suspected this might be the case, given how my cervix tried to open at 21 weeks. so my birth plan was basically 'whatever'. v glad i hadn't had my heart set on anything in particular.

they wheeled me down the corridor to one of the birthing rooms. they wouldn't let me go to the toilet in case i had the baby in the toilet..... that's how quickly things were happening.

i managed to change into the hospital gown, then got onto the bed. 'this is such a comfortable bed' i told my partner, although later (post birth) i realised that it wasn't... but i appreciated it a lot at the time.

i WAS allowed gas and air, hurrah. i'm extremely keen on doing things that make my life easier, so i accepted, obvs. basically, you breathe in during the contractions, and breathe out of the mask normally when you're not contracting.

THIS made the whole experience very different from just 'intense period pain', in part probably because the pain was ramping up, but also because whenever i wasn't contracting i felt completely off my face from the gas. overall, i thought this was a decent pain relief option. i also liked how breathing in the gas gave me something to focus on while pain was happening and it was a clear signal to everyone else that it was happening.

i probably had about... 5 more before my body was like 'maybe time to push'. (it really did feel different/like an actual urge). midwife told me i couldn't have the gas and air anymore - boo - just focus on pushing when the urge came.

pushed...... but obviously it hurt, so even though they were like 'keep pushing!' i thought, i will just relax because that's less painful. (great job, brain.) but i only faked out twice.

they invited a doctor in, because i was bleeding, and baby's heartrate was dropping. i agreed to the episiotomy because even though i reeeally didn't want that, i obviously would do whatever to get the baby safe.

retrospectively, my partner and i think that probably i was bleeding because i'd just had the stitch out two days before and those wounds had opened. but neither of us thought of it at the time, and no one assisting with the birth had had time to read the notes. (this is a theme of the post, not to be too whingey - but it was a shame). but anyway, the cutting (boo) came with a side of local anaesthetic (HOORAY) so actually it felt like a very good decision at the time, even above baby's safety.

one more contraction, one more push - baby was born in one go.

he's premature-levels of small at 5lb 10oz (5th percentile), even though he's technically full term. this is why erin and i think the bleeding was from the stitch rather than the baby, although one of the midwives suggested perhaps he was holding his arm up next to his face and that made him seem bigger. the scan we got the day before estimated his weight as being more normal, but scans are super unreliable particularly late in pregnancy.

really a very easy birth, as far as i can tell. i had slept through a lot of the early stage. the fear of being at home at not with medical professionals was the worst bit (and we fixed that by just going in even when we weren't sure) and as soon as it was over, i felt immediately fine. the whole thing had taken 2 hours tops. baby born at 4.30am.

i thought i'd cry when they gave me the baby, but actually i was too surprised that he was actually there and alive. (my partner cried.) the umblical cord looks creepy and alien. we'd agreed a medical professional should cut the cord, rather than erin (who wants to do this? they just want dads to feel involved). i got to hold him baby while they gave me the shot to deliver the placenta. barely felt it.

then had to give baby to erin for 30 minutes while a fuck tonne of stitches were put in... the amount of sewing involved was definitely worrying. i'd assumed maybe like... two stitches, but... it was a lot. can't recommend (though could not feel it at the time.)

after that, we just got to hang out in the room. i showered, changed, they brought me (but not erin) some breakfast and lunch. they did tests on the baby, most of which he passed. didn't pass the hearing test but apparently this is normal, as lots of babies have fluid in their ears. we think he can hear as he has startled at loud noises since. all the clothes i'd brought were hilariously too big.

sent home about 12 hours after the birth. could have stayed if we'd wanted to, but definitely did not.

i felt totally fine the entire day of the birth, full of LOTS of adrenalin. second day was also ok. third day was my crash. i got a cold, which was NOT good for my pelvic floor (and which i still have, RIP). my stitches hurt, the sleep debt had kicked in and i was hobbling everywhere, and breastfeeding wasn't going well. before the birth i'd been very much of the opinion that i'd breastfeed if it was easy, but i found it kind of weird and knew the health benefits were exaggerated. (but not completely, obviously). deep in my hormones, i was not able to hold onto this previously rational view. instead, i was thinking - i have no connection to my baby anymore.

i also cried at the song 'making a man' from the musical operation mincemeat (which is NOT an emotional song - but is about someone with the same name as my baby, who i'd just made), the beginning of the movie 'in the heights' (it was just so good!), the ending of the movie 'pride', and i cried again while describing what had happened at the end of 'pride' and how i'd cried.....

bought several breast pumps, fed the baby formula, took a day off from trying to breastfeed, things pretty much fixed for me (except for the crying at movies) by day 5. going to continue with combination feeding (i.e. breastmilk+formula) though, because it just seems insane to have to wake up every time the baby is hungry. what am i, a sadist? and when people are over - how good not to have to get your breasts out... thank you makers of formula.

ANYWAY. we're now on day 11. feels like baby is pretty easy going for a baby, he only cries when he needs something - which i appreciate, as it helps me keep him alive \o/ he will sleep in his basket, but only if he's already asleep. he prefers to be held. he can sleep for 3 hours at a time, but only during the day - at night you're lucky to get 1 hour, and he has been awake for about 2 hours at a time, unlike about 15 minutes average in the day. he smells nice, he wasn't cute-cute when he first came out, but he is getting extremely cute now and i think he looks more like my partner than an unknown donor (although still all to play for, i think). because he's still super small and almost pre-term, his legs and arms are still all curled up like he's in the womb, even though he's been out 11 days. but he's gradually uncurling them and stretching out.

i like holding him. he makes funny faces. he has a LOT of hair - which means the heartburn was right about that one. (n.b. heartburn is linked to hair, this is an old wives tale that is now scientifically proven) think it's going well, overall <3

n.b. i had to pause at this point because baby woke up. what they say about baby boys peeing on you while you change their nappies is 100% accu-rat, but it's quite funny really. we haven't worked out how to stop it because putting a cloth over him makes him hold it in..... and then you remove the cloth....... fine comedy in action.

my bump was very small, so i was able to put my pre-pregnancy jeans back on after only a few days. hooray, i love jeans.

uterine contractions started about day 6 (this is a thing i feel i did not know about before being pregnant myself. 7 days worth of contractions post baby to bring your uterus back in line). wow, it's like MORE PERIOD PAIN. great. there's less blood than i expected, though. i also can't control my temperature well at night - so i'm super hot while asleep, then get out of bed and start shivvering. apparently this is what the menopause will be like. looking forward to that 😅

not much else to add except the brothel stuff. basically 2 nights ago, someone knocked on my front door at 4.30 (same time baby was born!) in the morning as i was sitting up with baby. rang the doorbell, walked round to peer through the window, and then knocked again. i would not have answered - just wanted him to go away, but erin came down and opened the door, which was (it turns out) the right thing to do, but i was not happy about it - as we live in a semi-dodgy neighbourhood, although i've always felt relatively safe as we're off the highstreet and there are often people outside the pub until 1-2am, which is annoying but also feels like they'd see and stop anything bad.

i was running through scenarios like 'and then he breaks in' or 'and then he stabs whoever opened the door' in my mind. instead he just said something like - 'do you know where the whorehouse is?' and erin said 'wtf, it's 3am' and closed the door.

this could have just been a random incident, and indeed i didn't hear him say 'whorehouse' so i thought it was just a drunk guy asking for directions. but once she told me what he'd said, we then realised that the house next door to us... probably is a brothel. it's been renovated by our ex-neighbours and rented out, all the windows are blacked out, including the skylight we can see out of our windows. there's a complex doorbell system, they refuse to take our packages in, they don't have any bins out the front (which is presumably because no one is using the house as a house), and we've definitely heard people having sex through the walls. though erin thinks they've put up sound insulation just in time to not have to hear the baby crying in retaliation.

she's american and leftie and very against cops, so i'm trying not to be a karen about it. i have not reported it to the police, but i have said to erin already that if anything else happens that makes me feel unsafe...... i probably will. the man knocking on the door makes me not want to be awake with the baby in the night, even though nothing happened. (he broke the first rule of secret brothel - you DONT talk about secret brothel). we don't have our ex-neighbours details, so reporting is all we could do. apart from i guess ask them to move.... (won't be doing that, obvs. confrontation? no thanks.)

hopefully it's fine, and they will just move on at some point. VERY weird, though. and not what i need while hopped up on hormones.

glad to have written this post! feels like a good turning point in baby land, being able to write some words even if it's just this stream of consciousness. i also logged back into work Teams to send some pictures. since he was born, have been out with baby to the midwife (in the car), marks and spencers (in the car with pram), boots (in the pram), and today to a hipster coffee shop (in car, baby slept in pram bassinet). might reply to some comments tomorrow. working back up to actually writing some fic or finishing my lego.

also - it's (almost) hitting me that i have 9 months off work. apart from the sleep, i feel like i could go back to work now.... but i WANT the time off. but usually i only take 2 weeks off, and i've done that now... so it's time to go back to work...

i did read a bunch of other messages on Teams/Slack when i was posting the pictures. v hard not to care. even with something much more important to do.

ok - going to eat some food, now. thank you to anyone who read this far! hope it was interesting as well as long.

not tagging this pregnancy as i was doing it so people could block the tag, but people who don't know me literally found my posts and read them. and ... that's not what this is for.

#aralias's baby #personal #my content

[cloudy-em]

we'll make it work - spencer reid x fem!reader

i've had a really busy week and i'm in need of some relaxing time. i find writing generally pretty relaxing. this one may not be too good because this is more of a vent post and living vicariously through my writing as opposed to putting thought into it, but i figured i'd post anyways. feel free to view my pinned post (mobile or desktop) or click the compass icon (desktop) for my masterlist + all of my important links :)

Spencer had invited me to join the team for dinner at Rossi's after I had complained about not being social enough. As a CIA agent who is often sent abroad to consume and collect news sources from various countries and analyze them, having a social life isn't exactly my top priority.

Spencer and I had meant a couple of years ago at a bookstore when he'd turned a corner too quickly, accidently pushing me into a shelf. We had a good laugh about it and ended up talking for hours when he realized I held a copy of Any Human Heart. We remained friends, and my partner and I had even helped Spencer's team catch an unsub when she tried to leave the US and go to Budapest. We only grew closer from there. It's funny how the simplest mistakes can bring people together.

I had yet to meet Spencer's team officially; the Budapest situation ended with my partner and I returning the unsub to the US and simply handing her off to Spencer's team. There was no time or need for introductions.

As Spencer and I walked up to Rossi's rather extravagant front door, I found myself growing nervous. This team was like a family, and I was going to be the one weird tagalong.

Spencer rang the doorbell, and a beaming blonde wearing a bright pink dress opened the door. Her appearance alone made me smile - she looked like she was kind and happy, and she reminded me of the dolls I'd see in shop windows.

"Spencer's here!" she turned to yell into the house before waving her hands wildly to invite us in. As she shut and locked the door behind us, she turned to me and smiled. "My name's Penelope, and you must be Y/N! Spencer talks about you all. the. time. I'm so glad to finally meet you. Come on, let's go meet the rest of the team!" she all but grabbed my hand and dragged me towards a large kitchen, where the rest of the team stood nursing white wine as an older gentleman instructed them on cooking pasta.

"-remember, we always salt your pasta water before boiling it. The water should be salty like the sea! Now that it's been seven minutes, we can remove and drain the pasta," he paused, demonstrating the step he had previously narrated.

The rest of the team nodded. Penelope cleared her throat, "Everyone, Spencer and Y/N are here!" the team smiled, turning to look at the both of us.

"Perfect timing," our chef for the evening said in a welcoming tone. "I'm almost done with the meal. Emily, would you pour the late arrivals their wine?"

A brunette smiled and nodded, gesturing for us to follow her further into the kitchen area. "I'm Emily," she introduced herself to me as she poured one glass of wine, holding it out for me to take before pouring another for Spencer. "I hope you guys had a good evening before coming here," she said, looking at Spencer with a facial expression I couldn't quite describe. Spencer quickly placed his hand on my back, making my cheeks heat up as he mumbled something about being introduced to the rest of the team. We made our rounds and I shook hands with Derek, JJ, and Hotch.

Rossi announced that dinner was ready and directed all of us to his dining room. The meal was delicious; nothing too fancy. It was comforting but still held the flair one would expect from a famous author. The table made small talk at first, discussing weekend plans before we got more comfortable and went more into detail about our personal lives. JJ talked about her husband and son, Hotch detailed his experience in teaching Jack how to hit a t-ball, and Derek said he thought his most recent hookup might be going somewhere. Before Spencer or I could even process what was happening, Penelope turned to the two of us, a curious smile splayed across her lips.

"So, how long have you two been dating?" she asked.

It wasn't that I found the idea of dating Spencer unappealing, in fact I found it incredibly appealing. I'd thought about it multiple times. We got along great, we went out together nearly every weekend we both had the time to do something, and we made each other laugh. It was more that the question was so blunt, it caught me off-guard. Thus, I inhaled my wine in shock, immediately choking and tearing up.

Spencer looked between Penelope and I in shock, like he was watching everything unfold three steps behind everyone else.

"Are you not going to help your choking girlfriend, loverboy?" Derek asked in a teasing tone.

Spencer quickly reached up to rub my back and help my body calm down from its response to having wine in the lungs before making a quiet, yet firm, statement.

"She's not my girlfriend."

I had to pretend it didn't hurt, but I'm sure in a room full of profilers, they could all see right through me. Spencer and I were friends, and I was thankful for that, but I had always hoped it might be something more. I took a deep breath, listening as the conversation shifted to make the atmosphere less awkward. I finished my meal and thanked Rossi, announcing that I was tired after my last flight from Geneva. I bid everyone a good night, put my plate in the sink, and found myself on the stairs on Rossi's front porch, turning around as I heard the door open behind me.

"Hey, I figured I'd walk you home," Spencer said, voice soft and unsure. I nodded silently as a sign that I was giving him permission to do so. We walked down the sidewalk together, the tension in my shoulders probably giving notice of my stress.

"What's up?" Spencer asked suddenly, but it sounded more like a statement. Like an, "I know something's up, so tell me before I figure it out for myself", although knowing him, he'd probably already figured it out. I shrugged. "Well, something changed at dinner. You were all smiles and conversation and then it's like a rubber band snapped," he let out a puff of air, signaling that he meant it in a light-hearted way.

I didn't answer.

"The team liked you," he paused. "Like, really liked you."

I got frustrated with his awkwardness; why couldn't he just say the words? He's glad we're friends, he's sorry they asked if we were dating, whatever. Rip the band-aid off.

"Yeah, I could tell, Spencer," I said, colder than intended. "They thought I was your girlfriend, that's how much they liked me. Self-fulfilling prophecy or whatever." Spencer tilted his head, confused.

"I'm not sure that's self-fulfilling prophecy, I mean you didn't convince yourself of something so much that you let it happen, they just assumed something that was incorrect-" he began to ramble.

"Shut up, Spencer! God, don't you see that I like you? That I've been hoping you'd just fucking ask me out? But we're both busy people who have hard lives and you're a genius who's fantastic and solves crimes, and I'm me who's essentially a walking database of foreign newspapers!" I let out some of my feelings, not even realizing what I'd said. "It wouldn't work out between us anyways because we're good friends and I appreciate that and I'd always hoped we'd be more but it's okay, I know it won't work, so let's just move on and sleep it off-"

"We'll make it work."

#criminal minds #spencer reid #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x y/n #spencer x reader #dr spencer reid #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #david rossi #aaron hotchner #emily prentiss #jennifer jareau #penelope garcia #derek morgan #light angst #confession #fanfic #x reader

[froggyrights]

Hi everyone! Since a couple people were interested I made a small blog recommendations list 🌟

These are all people I personally love to see on my dash! Specifically those i know well enough to comment on or people I like that I haven't seen on many other follow lists floating around.

If you enjoy following me you'll probably like these people's blogs as well.

-

Mostly Dream SMP content:

@carpedzem my c!dnf partner in crime!! also an amaazing artist and good lore posts!

@elliotl beloved dreblr member, general Good & Nice presence and good c!dream posts!

@cdiskduoisms I would trust his opinions on discduo with my LIFE. Writes so many incredible dsmp fics you neeed to check them out

@dorito-with-no-weakness both based c!dream & dsmp stuff and fun other mcyt posts!

@call-me-apple also dreblr! every apple Post I see I go woah. thats based. Recommend.

@kiuda her c!dream headcanons make me So sad. Posts analysis and cc content too!

@rutadales there's no one whose c!foolish analysis i trust more! Also a lot of c!dream, cool art and general mcyt content.

@simplepotatofarmer such a cool blogger! posts awesome c!Techno & c!rivals stuff and posts about their chickens (!!) There's no negatives here

@bigbaras recently started posting their c!dream and dsmp art on here and wow. Woooooww. Wow.

@foolsocracy posts dsmp stuff! Makes aweesome art like their c!Sam design is everything 2 me

@cgogs one of the like 6 other cdnfers on this site woo 🥳 I'd mention him just for that but she also has awesome analysis abt cclingy and cawesamponk

@yumgrapejuice I'm a huge fan of grapes endersmile fics!! Also blogs about c & cc dream :)

@kenjo-arts posts so much cool c!dream and dsmp art!!

@theminecraftbox can't rec dsmp blogs without mentioning their blog ! Has the best c!prisontrio analysis on the website for suure

-

Mostly CC content:

@dteamtogether pandasblr! Posts mainly sapnap & dtqk+!! Blaze is awesome follow him neoooww

@dtqkplus the url says enough right? Also reblogs tommy and wilbur stuff, if there's a good post I'll probably see it on their blog

@catboydweam all sorts of c & cc dream stuff! Also talented fic writer!!

@dnferisms posts general dtqk+ content, definitely a fun addition to your dash!

@alien-girl-21 mix of mcyt and general fun posts. My go to for updates on what Quackity has been up to on Karmaland!

@gnfghibli dteamblr and some other mcyt comtent, really fun to follow

@respiteresponse posts suuuch wonderful mcyt/dsmp art!! Mainly dteam and tina from what I've seen, it's awesome

@calamitydaze posts general dtqk content and also makes the most heartwrenching dsmp webweaves ever. Such good c!Quackity & c!fiance opinions too

@f4c3 literally a dteamblr staple. Where would we all be without f4c3. Has been here for ages & will outlast us all

@tinogie posts mainly abt dtqk+, always has something fun/interesting/cursed going on in their askbox. Also very talented dnf fic writer!

@foolishgamersbf my favorite foolish gamers enjoyer!! Posts abt foosh and tina mostly, runs @tooshdaily as well!

@sappymix1 dteam main, posts tons of mcyt stuff, very fun to follow!!!

@georgelore one of the first dteamblr blogs I followed in like 2021 and never regretted my decision, just posts good mcyt content

Also honorable mention to Leo @hoshogie who doesn't post mcyt content but you should follow xem anyway thank you👍

#dsmp #mcyt #dream smp #i spend way too much time on this pls appreciate it /reblog if you found it useful :) #you dont know how hard it was for me not to tag every single dreblr member the self restraint was crazg #i most definitely missed some people i wanted to add but im too tired to add more #new twitter people dont say i never do anything for u guys #yrsa rambles #also i used they/them for people who's pronouns i didnt know i hope thats okay i will change it if anyone wants me to

[caitlynskitten]

Hey, thought I'd take a little break from writing cause I've seen it mentioned twice by anons (I'm assuming they're separate anons but obvi I can't tell for sure) so I just want to explain a little.

So, when I first joined in on this little ship, it was before VampRavenWolf was actually being shipped here, just that Yoko was watching while Enid and Wednesday were... *ahem* having fun. So, it wasn't really my original idea for Wednesday to be using those titles for EnidYoko. I actually got the idea from a few posts talking about names the trio would use for each other, posted by Cait. So, I just used them for one idea and it grew from there!

For the record, I don't think a canon-compliant Wednesday would use those titles for anyone, whatever ship it is. But, we're not really talking about canon-compliant Wednesday, are we? We have a version of Wednesday affected by a very long series of events that would very clearly never happen in the show. Now, we have a Wednesday who is super emotionally open and isn't averse to showing affection in many different ways, she actually enjoys it and at times needs that affection.

So, if you all don't think Wednesday would use Mommy and Daddy to refer to Enid & Yoko then cool. I agree with you to an extent. But it's a little weird to think about this version of Wednesday with the same lens as the Wednesday series. I think that we can think of this Wednesday more closely relating to Gomez. Someone who is endlessly affectionate with their partner(s) and is interested in things that society usually deems wrong or taboo, LIKE Mommy and Daddy kink.

(Note: I said this originally in another of my asks, but I'll say it for anyone new. For most of the time, I don't believe that VampRavenWolf use these titles in a sexual environment. Instead, it's something that EnidYoko refer to themselves as so that Wednesday knows that she's safe and can let go of her mask. It's a lot more exhausting for this Wednesday to be aggressive and hostile to everyone. She really just wants to be Mommy and Daddy's good girl.)

Anyway, that's just my thoughts. You're all allowed your own headcanons and all that. Alright, BACK TO WRITING!!

Completely 100% agree what they say! VampRavenWolf is just simply canon to that headcanon lmaoo if you’re not into it that’s completely fine. We’re essentially creating our own versions of these characters.

I know there are some that aren’t really into this ship and you probably didn’t follow me because of this but that’s okay. Just like plenty of other blogs have their own hc and versions of these characters in their fics.

#asks #rachelsfav queer #vampravenwolf #wednesday #wednesday addams #wenclair #enid sinclair #the addams family #yoko tanaka

[nimue-hidden-lake]

Welcome To My Lake!

Redone intro

This is a side blog! Due to circumstances I cannot properly interact from my main (@thelakeofnimue). Until the issue is resolved (however long that might be) I would like for you to interact here (asks, dms, pings, reblogs)! Also if I follow you it might not show up properly. Just a heads up!

Hello there! Please, call me Nimue. I’m 22 years old and German (English is my second anguage). I am on the aromantic spectrum. I am genderfluid and thus what I identify as will shift on a whim. Please ask me for pronouns and what gendered terms I'm fine with at the moment! Or use They/Them and do not gender if you want to play it safe all the time. Due to this I also prefer to not label my sexuality (not like I know what to call it anyways).

I write a lot and sometimes draw. I will also make random posts though. I also write f/o imagines for everyone to enjoy! Let your mind go wild!

I will talk about whatever I am interested in so this is a mish–mash of posts and reblogs. I might take my time to warm up but I love meeting new people and interacting with others! Hit me, ask or reblogs whenever you want (even if it's just for f/o gushing, I love hearing it)! You can also DM me if you want to talk more!

Nice to meet you! I hope I am able to get to know you better in the near future!

For more info, read below the cut!

BYF

I am a selfshipper / yumejoshi and I am very open about this! I do not mind interacting with people who are not so feel free to interact with me either way (may it be posts, tags, dms or the askbox)! But if you do not feel comfortable with this fact, I suggest that you avoid this blog altogether since I share and post about this stuff a lot!

I love to write and talk about writing! Writing is my passion! I've been doing it for over a decade now! If you need advice, I'm ready to help! Also feel free to tag me in any of your writing! I'd love to read it! I'm still not sure to reblog some stuff or not. Give me a head's up if it's ok to reblog your stuff!

I experiment with my writing. While most of it is sfw and rather light hearted, I can and will write about darker themes sometimes! These posts receive a content warning however and I have a tag available in my tag list so you can filter that stuff. 

I am primarily an OC/Canon shipper and I will gush and write about these ships a lot! I also multiship in that regard!

I am not a single fandom blog! Though I have a primary interest which can change. My current primary interest right now is Hypnosis Mic.

General Tag List

#Nimue’s Whispers – Personal thoughts or headcanons

#Nimue's Lake – My written works

#Deep Waters – Written works dealing with heavier topics. I recommend blocking this tag if you wish to not see any of it!

#Waves – Answered Asks

My creative works

Nimue's Library (#Nimue's Lake)

Nimue's Dark Corner (#Deep Waters)

Nimue's Sketchbook (#Nimue's Sketchbook)

Fandom List

These are only a select few of many which mean a lot to me. Those marked bold are my current fixations.

Ensemble Stars

Hypnosis Mic

Bungo Stray Dogs

The World Ends With You

Fire Emblem

Obey Me!

Arknights

Project Sekai: Colorful Stage 

Touken Ranbu

Honkai Star Rail

Fate/Grand Order

Kid Icarus

Osomatsu series (Kun & San)

Genshin Impact

These are just some of my interests! I am enjoying many more fandoms! If you want to know if I am part of a specific one, ask!

Selfship Stuff

Overhaul? Yes. But I try to be a bit more careful with f/os nowadays so a lot are pending. I mainly focus on Ensemble Stars and Hypnosis Mic tho, so expect me to gush about them the most. I mostly post about Fling Posse at the moment. I love all of my f/os though!

"Shipped with s/i" means that I ship them with my s/i but I do not consider them f/os! I just enjoy the ship dynamics. Thus these ships are not personal to me by any means and I would not rank them as my partners due to a lack of feelings for them.

There are also a few f/os who are a bit complicated due to past circumstances (I rather not talk about it). Once I recovered and sorted my feelings I add them to the other rows especially Romani Archaman, I love him so much and want to decleare him my boyfriend again you have no idea... However long that will be. I love them though and plan to add and gush about them eventually once I moved on from the situation! I just don't know when that will be...

Iffy sharing Fling Posse (Ramuda, Gentaro, Dice), Henry (FE) and Blaze romantically (except with my friends). I will not block you but I might block your tag (if possible) or not follow back and/or interact with your posts (related to that f/o) if possible. I will also do it if we share f/os you feel uncomfortable sharing with. If I miss it though, I apologize. Just notify me if I do! If I follow you first (or reblogged something from you before) or if we already know each other from another platform, we are good though. I'm fine sharing everyone else though!

My top secret f/os are f/os I keep a secret for own reasons and at most I will vague post about them in public (if ever). I talk about them in private though and publish fanfics about them elsewhere. There is a chance I open up about them one day but no gurantee (I doubt it matters since none of them are f/os I often write about as of now). I am fine sharing them though!

Anniversaries

Ramuda Amemura - 15th November

Gentaro Yumeno - 22nd November

Dice Arisugawa - 23rd November

Ritsu Sakuma – 27th June

Rinne Amagi - 11th August

Izumi Sena - 24th September

Hokuto Hidaka – TBD (confession to be written)

Leo Tsukinaga - TBD (confession to be written)

Blaze - TBD (confession to be written) (sharing with a friend)

Henry - 25th May

Arataki Itto - TBD (confession to be written)

A list for my platonic f/os can be found here! Sharing is aok!

My main OC (S/I) for Ensemble Stars

Hypnosis Mic S/I

Bungou Stray Dogs S/I

S/I in Arknights (coming soon)

S/I in Fire Emblem Awakening

Etsuko Amata (Genshin Impact Version) (coming soon) (shipped with Itto)

Fling Posse Selfship / Yumeship Masterlist

Selfship Tags

#Nimue's Beloved – Romantic F/O Stuff

#Nimue's Family – Familial F/O Stuff

#Nimue's Besties – Other Platonic F/O Stuff

#Ritsann – Ship collection for Ritsu/Ann

#Ramuann - Ship collection for Ramuda/Ann

#Gennann - Ship collection for Gentaro/Ann

#Diceann - Ship collection for Dice/Ann

#Hokkann – Ship collection for Hokuto/Ann

#Rinnann - Ship collection for Rinne/Ann

#Izuann - Ship collection for Izumi/Ann

#Leoann - Ship collection for Leo/Ann

#Ittsuko - Ship collection for Itto/Etsuko

More coming soon

Other OCs & Ships

That won't mean that I do not ship any other OC/Canon stuff. I do actually and am still doing so. I also just love writing and creating characters as a whole.

Etsuko Koge (Enstars Version)

Karl Wolff (Ensemble Stars)

Oriko Himejima (Ensemble Stars)

Anneth (Kid Icarus Uprising)

Iris (Kid Icarus Uprising) (coming soon)

Nikke (Kid Icarus Uprising) (coming soon)

#Madoriko – Ship collection for Madara/Oriko

#Natsann - Ship collection for Natsume/Ann

#Juann - Ship collection for Jun/Ann

more to be added… 

Discord Stuff

Another way to reach me is Discord (it is usually easier tbh, I will check DMs there more often and am often online). The name is e_v_e_ (Eve)

Discord Profile at the moment (that is me)

Also running a (somewhat active) selfship server! Feel free to join us! Invite here!

DNI if…

you are here to start drama or talk about drama. I will be honest, hearing about any type of drama can stress me out and I prefer avoiding it here if possible. I myself will never talk about drama either, no matter what it is! Also, please do not involve me in any drama! 

you have a problem with content involving OCs and self inserts, leave! This includes OC x Canon + S/I x Canon content as well!

you are…

A racist

A bigot

A transphobe

Anti LGBTQIA+

A p*dophile / MAP

Proship

Comship

Other Blogs

@lake-archive - Overall writing

@astral-express-conductors - HSR Fanblog (18+)

@nimue-at-night - 18+ Blog

@crew-catz - Hypnosis Mic Fanblog (OC focus)

#blog intro #pinned intro #intro pin #introductory post #introduction #pinned info #pinned post #self ship intro #selfship intro #Ok I hope this is the last time I edit and revamp my intro! I apologize that you have to see this again! #selfship promo #self ship promo #self promo

[creator-muses]

6/2/24: LGBTQIA+ in creative media

People have plenty of names for it; "the gay agenda", "queer rep", "those darn liberals", "LGBTQIA+ rep", "is he...you know", the list goes on.

Since June started yesterday, I thought, "what better way to ring in Pride Month than a talk about characters and themes of queerness?"

First, I'd like to talk about why it's important, as some outside the community might not understand why. It's similar to any minority representation is important; it gives them a sense that they are recognized as a part of society. Art imitates life, as they say.

Now can this representation be shoehorned in/overdone? Yes, yes it can, and this is coming from someone of the community themselves. The main way I've seen it done is by constantly bashing the viewer/reader over the head with "Hey, they're gay. Hey, I dunno if you noticed, but they're gay. They're gay. Do you know they're gay yet? Hey."

This is understandably annoying for the viewer/reader; it implies that the creators think they are stupid. Let's face it, no one enjoys being called stupid.

So how can creators take this topic and put it into their work in a more realistic way? As a consumer, I have a few suggestions:

Unless it's integral to the story's plot, make it subtle. Show the character with a same sex partner or simply talking about them, for example. They don't even need to say the words, "I'm [insert sexual identity here]."

Don't "fix them" by the end of the movie/book/show by making them straight. That defeats the whole purpose in the first place. Unless the character was simply trying things out and realized they weren't queer. That happens in real life, so why not in media?

Don't put it in because you feel like you have to. That will show through in the final product and your audience will likely have something to say about it.

Disclaimer: These are solely my opinions, I do not expect anyone to follow these suggestions just because I brought them up. It wouldn't be fair of me to do so anyway; the whole idea of creative endeavors is that you create what and how you want. There will always be some audience for what you create. There isn't any perfect way to do things, either, and you will unfortunately always have people who don't like what you create. (More on that in a future post!)

That all being said, I am always happy to see LGBTQIA+ inclusion in creative works. We've come so far from what things used to be like, and it's not only made a lot of people happier and feel more included, but it's expanded character development and, in my opinion, made for some interesting characters!

Happy June/Pride Month, everyone, and I'll see you next Sunday!

~Liz

#blog post #lgbtqia #creativity #creative media #lgbtqia representation #queer representation

[ftm2bbw]

You've had post-nut clarity before, but this hits you like nothing else has before. You can feel his cum, deep and warm inside your cunt. His cock is still buried inside you, twitching, the last few spurts dribbling out of him as he softens. His words still echo in your mind.

Pretty girl...

Fat fucking cow...

God damn this gigantic ass...

Fuck fuck fuck, here it cums...

The aftermath is awkward, laying there covered in sweat, not sure of what to do next as he pulls out of you and starts cleaning himself up. You know you ought to do something about the fertile seed he's left inside you, but you can't even bring yourself to sit up, your fat belly and enormous, heavy tits rising and falling with deep breaths. He asks you if you need a ride home, but that's about it. He just used you like a toy to get himself off, kneading your tits and fucking your cunt. And that's about it.

You aren't even sure that you should tell your partner, debating back and forth on the Uber ride home. You shouldn't fight fire with fire, the relationship already strained, so you decide to keep it to yourself. You just went out for the night. No questions. A lie of omission, if anything. Throwing away the panties that you wore when you realize that some of his cum did leak out of you and stain them.

You can keep it a secret, you tell yourself. You blame the morning sickness on something else. You say that you're trying to cut back on drinking for your health. Baby weight clings to your body, but you were always fat and greedy, so many it's just more and more of that. Hormonal mood swings aren't uncommon, though they do seem to be getting much worse.

But, as the weeks fly by, things get harder to hide. How do you explain the widening of your hips, not just padded with fat but actually wider? How do you explain the way your nipples have gotten bigger, darker. Your belly button has started smoothing out as your baby bump grows bigger by the day. And you can't hide the pumping sessions that now sometimes last hours. The jokes about you being a cow were right, you're a natural milk producer.

The shame. The humiliation. And a pregnancy too far along to stop it. Nothing to do but let it run its course as your partner looks on you with disgust. They become so much more forceful in their teasing, bordering on cruelty as they play with your udders and edge your pregnant body mercilessly.

You knew it was wrong and yet you did it anyway. You weren't in control that night, eight months ago. Your body was. Your womb was. It dictated its needs and the rest of you followed suit.

And now, here you are. Pregnant and nearly ready to burst. Fifty pounds heavier. On your hands and knees as your partner inspects your body, treating you roughly. Cupping your puffy, pregnant cunt and asking how it felt to be railed and bred. No matter what your answer, they just sneer and call you a pathetic, greedy cow slut.

And you know that's what you are.

Fuuuuuuck. I shouldn't admit how wet this made me, I really shouldn't.

I'm not sure what would be more embarassing, getting knocked up from the first time I fuck my friend. Or going back over and over and over, so desperate to be bred and so at the mercy of my womb that I can't help but get fucked and filled until it takes.

What's worse, beyond all the shame and humilation, feeling my womb swell with life would only want it more. Part of me would hate my fertility, hate that I was locked in for a full nine months of this, hate that I did this to my partner and our relationship. But an even bigger part of me would just feel so right, constantly horny at the swelling of my belly and my tits and my fertile hips and ass.

I'd given into my womb and there'd be no going back from there, ever. Just a fertile, fat cow who gave up on her transition and her morals to get bred again and again and again...

#god it's so fucked up how much this turns me on #ask.txt

[janice-christ]

Some Answers To Your Questions (Transcribed by Janice's Daughter Naomi)

Hi all,

This is Janice's daughter Naomi again. We've been getting a lot of questions from some curious new followers (43 now, wow!) and thought we'd just compile them all here in one post. My mother tends to veer off topic when she gets going so I'm here to transcribe the important bits and leave out the rest.

Once again, I do need to mention up top that my father, Janice's Husband, is still missing. Last seen wearing a tweed suit in Atlanta, Georgia six months ago, black toupee, 5'3", ~230lbs, walks with a slight limp, favoring his left side. His full name is Matthew Mark Luke John Christ.

Please, PLEASE reach out if you have any information whatsoever on his whereabouts. As stated in a previous reply from Mom, there are no known photographs of him as he is staunchly against photography as an industry and concept.

Q&A

Q: Can you tell us more about your alien abduction?

A: Absolutely. It was 1997 - October 14th. Matthew Mark Luke John and I were in a brief period of separation and I was home alone with 5 year old Naomi. I'd just put her to bed, around 7 o'clock, and walked outside to have a cigarette (Camel blues - and while we're on the subject, why don't they allow smoking indoors anymore? We used to be able to light up an honest to god Pall Mall in the middle of Catholic Mass back in the 70s) [note from Naomi: this rant went on for 13 solid minutes before I got her back on track].

Anyway, I walked out to stand on the front porch and as I clicked my lighter I was suddenly transported, as if I'd been sucked into the damn Bic! The next thing I know, I'm getting strapped up and suspended from the ceiling, belly down, fanny out. I look down at the hands of my captors and discover they are not hands, but claws.

Long, grey claws.

Unable to make a sound or see anything but the floor several feet below me, I lay suspended in this alien contraption, panicking. The creature restraining me then began what I understood to be an alien roll-call ritual, confirming with his peers that three other humans in the room with me were also prepped for what was about to happen - surgery.

Suddenly, everything went very dark and I was transported to what seemed to be some sort of void. Then, a small light - the size of a pin prick - appeared right in front of me, and expanded until it was a large screen. For the next 3 hours and 15 minutes, the screen played James Cameron's "Titanic", which I found quite novel as the movie wasn't due to release on Earth until December. I had a good deal of fun spoiling the film for a few of my least favorite friends.

Directly following the start of the credits, I awoke in my bed, morning light streaming through the windows. From that day on, anything I orally consume leaves a strong taste of sulfur in my mouth. I now get my nutrients through a DIY feeding tube. Everything else in my body was left normal, though.

Q: You don't seem too worried about your missing husband, but your daughter Naomi does. Why is this?

A: I don't know - you'll have to ask Naomi why she cares so goddamned much. [note from Naomi: he's my dad.]

Q: Your bit isn't funny

A: Is this some type of slang?

Q: Why do you hate your 4 year old grandson so much? Do you hate kids?

A: I love kids. This one, however, is rotten liver. [note from Naomi: We're working on this relationship - Zachary is a good kid and Nana just doesn't like sticky hands on her tchotchkes]

[Additional note from Janice: He's rotten liver, full stop.]

Q: If you could find the other victims from the night of your abduction, what would you ask them?

A: Oh, too many questions to name one by one. But to start I'd ask if they also watched Titanic or if they got a different film like Boogie Nights or Good Will Hunting.

Q: You say you're single and looking - what kind of partner are you looking for?

A: One who believes me.

---

Maybe we'll do another one of these if we get some more questions in bulk - Zachary and I are currently in the process of moving in with Mom to help her out until Dad comes back so things are a little chaotic here, as you can imagine. Until then, please spread the word about my father if you can.

-Naomi

and janice xx

#alien abduction #janice christ #missing #titanic #boogie nights #good will hunting #AMA #q&a #questions #interview #answers #camel #camel blues #catholic mass #smoking #cigarettes #smoking indoors