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kairiscorner · 10 months

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hihiii pookie :DD!!

tw// mentions of depression

i'm wondering if you could maybe write a comfort fic about miles 42 with a reader who hates asking for help even when theyre clearly suffering in silence because they were taught to just 'suck it up' and deal with it alone as a kid?

you dont have to write this if you dont feel comfortable with it <33

Thank you pooks :33!!

hi pooks @jrrantss <:DD oh man, okay so i was kind of that kid back then too (though i was a big crybaby) it's like the adults around me didn't fully comprehend why i was feeling the way i was, so in response to that, they basically condemned crying at home or in front of them. i'm sorry if you went through something similar or, hopefully not, something worse ;-; i hope this provides you some comfort, and in a way, might also let you know you aren't the only one going through stuff like this. i'm here for you pookie, all the time <:)

(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)

you can be honest with me. – miles 42 x reader (angst + comfort)

nothing went your way this week, hell, you couldn't even remember a week in your life when anything felt right, when you didn't feel that you were holding yourself back from letting go of everything that felt wrong, awful, and just... painful. you were too good at keeping secrets, too good at lying about how you really felt; and that was something you hated about yourself, how you found lying as your first nature, not your second. you lied to people when they'd ask you if you were doing okay, if your day was going alright–you always gave them the answers they want to hear, that you were fine, that nothing was wrong.

but when everything just comes crumbling down, and the cracks in your facade begin to show and become more obvious... you get more and more defensive, more and more angry, more and more... scared and worried about these feelings that are hurling themselves at you so quickly that you can't even begin to understand why they're affecting you so badly–why people can see the bare you now if you just turn your face to look at them or open your mouth to speak; and your boyfriend was the first person to see you this way, vulnerable, yet trying all you can to avoid that vulnerability while you're crumbling down.

"hey," miles calls out to you in a soft voice as he sees your back turned to him as you kept working on your assignments, hunched over at your desk with your brows furrowed together and your lips curved into a scowl. you had been avoiding him for a few days now–at least he thinks you might be avoiding him–and have acted very distant, very... out of it recently. you didn't turn your head around to face him, which prompted him to continue talking, hopefully so you could find a reason to face him and his worried eyes. "you've, um... you've been busy lately." "uh-huh." you hummed as you tapped the end of your pencil against your desk impatiently, racking your brain for the answer to the questions written down that all seemed to blur together as the shittiness of the previous days just irritated you even more, and the worst part was... you couldn't hide the fact you can't mask ot anymore.

miles' face contorted as he got more and more worried about you, not knowing why you were acting starkly different than the usual you, or the only you he was familiar with. he extended his hand out to you as he walked over, looking at your cluttered up papers on your desk and the smudged up marks on the paper from your erasures. "...is something wr–" "everything's fine, i'm fine, i'm just peachy!" "you don't sound very convincing." he said, his voice returning to his nonchalant, cool tone as he took a small glimpse at your face before you turned away from his field of vision.

he sat in the chair next to you and wrapped his arm around you in an effort to comfort you. "cielo, sonething's up with you. are you... are you sure you don't wanna let me help?" he asked you with a soft voice, hoping he didn't overstep any boundaries as you slowly turned your head to show him a bit of your face. there were tears in your eyes, though you didn't dare let miles see them fall down your face; there was a sob stuck in your throat, but you didn't dare let miles hear it escape your lips. you had been there before, being severely troubled for more things than just homework–but never had you been advised to do anything than the age old phrases you've heard all your life as a kid: 'get over it.'

you took in a deep breath and tried to tell him what those words you've exhausted yourself from saying all the damn time–that you don't need any help, that you've got this, that you're okay... but your body's betraying you right now. it's betraying you for turning your back on your own feelings, but that... was never your fault, never. as you let out the breath you've been holding in, the hot tears came streaking down the ends of your eyes, your scowl morphing into a sad frown as you felt yourself slowly come undone and all the raging thoughts in your mind boiled down into one thought right then and there: 'fuck no, i am far from okay'.

you had one tear come down, then two, then... a whole waterfall of tears came pouring down your eyes as you finally released that sob you had been desperately keeping in. you had released it out into the air as it mingled with miles' shushing and gentle whispers as he held you while you leaned against him, wailing as you tried telling him how nothing had been right lately. you choked out in broken cries how you desperately wanted a way out of everything horrible that's been happening but you didn't want anyone else to be bothered by your 'stupid, insignificant problems'.

"i just... want to be okay... but i can't even pretend to be okay for at least one damn day." "please, stop pretending, mi vida. it's hurting me how you... how you think it's strength to rake up everything by yourself... when you clearly need help." miles said with a cracked voice as he felt himself choke up at your melancholic state. you cried even more out of guilt that you saddened miles, but he kissed your forehead, cheek–your whole face as he murmured words of reassurance, of love, to you to calm you down and comfort you. "you're not alone, not anymore... i don't care if some idiots in your life want you to deal with alone, never to bother them–you're never a bother to me, got that?" he mutters to you as he holds you close, letting you sob into his shoulder, your sobs getting louder and louder all the while. he shushes you and rubs your back gently, kissing your wet cheeks as he keeps reminding you that no matter what you're going through, what problems you're having, he's always going to be there for you–be the help you'll need, one way or another.

"please, don't be scared, mi vida... you can be honest with me. i promised to love you with all my heart, protect you, and... always be the help you'll need."

he whispered to you as he looked into your eyes and gently wiped your tears away and leaned his forehead against yours, hoping you would be more lenient, more understanding towards yourself and your own needs; and that you wouldn't hesitate to ask him for help. because even if you don't ask him to, he'll be there to help you, be there to guide you, be there to comfort you the best he can. because he loves you, and knows you deserve more than what you think you deserve, that you deserve... the best of the best, and nothing less.

tags !! @ii01vq @luvstarrstruck @maxoloqy @k4tsu3 @solecitoszn @toneystank-3000 @fiannee @popeheywardssecretgf @lovefrominaya @onginlove @meowmoraless @q2ie @zalayni @anikaluv @conitagray

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azirapherale · 9 months

Text

you know those byzantine iconographic paintings from art history class where jesus makes this symbol by touching his thumb to his ring finger? or this other one with index and middle finger up near the thumb, other two fingers curled down? remember the scene where nina holds up 6 fingers, then 1, then makes a kind of ball shape: six shot, one big cup. she mouths the words as she's doing the gestures visual non-verbal communication all of it

keep those images in your head

a fun thing to do is to learn bits and pieces of lots of languages another fun thing to do, for very questionable values of fun, is to watch the ineffable break up sound off, no subs (only sobs). it feels like watching two man-shaped beings who know every language ever have 2, maybe 3 different simultaneous conversations

ok so look i know this has ConspiracyTheoryMapGuy.jpg written all over it - AS IT SHOULD - and it's prob natural gesturing in an emotional scene, but ... i kinda think i see some BSL signs while they quarrel?

*stop *go *upstairs/ heaven (oh my yes, they're actually the same sign or so similar I can't tell them apart) *if it's not upstairs it might be understand (and wouldn't that be fascinating) *downstairs *i/me *you *possibly the sign fight (it's fast and blurry so it could as well be car) *something that puts me in the mind of the letter Z but probably isn't *talk/say (but it's in a blurry OTS so idk, I'm prob assigning some pattern i know to extremely random noise) now if you follow me on main you know i play with languages pretty much all the time. what that means wrt this post is that i'm not by ANY metric a sign language user. I'm a hearing person who wanted to understand the basic syntax and (try and fail) to understand the grammar(?) conveyed by position in signing space of british sign language. why bsl? fuck if I remember but odds are some linguistics subreddit is to blame. so I learned just enough BSL to be tempted to see it where it probably isn't and there's a lot of noise to signal in the scene (good for hiding signs, bad for lv negative 200 amateur linguist). realistically I think the whole scene is a tragic poem meant to be experienced not solved, and I've def had the experience [mumble mumble] times but my brain thinks it saw a pattern so if you read this now you're cursed with the idea too

#good omens #good omens meta #language

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discar · 1 month

Text

HZD Terraforming Base-001 Text Communications Network

Chapter 44 (non-canon omake) | Prev chapter | Next chapter Chapter Index

[FlameHairSavior], [Zo], [BoyNextDoor], [HIMBO], [MARSHAL Kotallo], [β], and [DIVINER] have joined [PZD Alpha Group Chat]

Captain_RobotKiller: ...did we just get hacked?

BigMama: Travis, what did you do.

VAST_SILVER_SLAYER69: Wasn't me, boss!

MARSHAL Kotallo: Wait, what just happened?

DIVINER: Hello new people!

HIMBO: I DON'T SEE ANYONE ELSE AT THE BASE.

β: i thought you didnt give anyone else focuses

BoyNextDoor: I definitely didn't.

MARSHAL Kotallo: We appear to have suffered a security breach, do not treat this lightly.

BigMama: YOU suffered a security breach? This is a private military network, your actions constitute treason in EVERY existing nation.

Zo: ...I think we have some irrigation crossed.

Kitty_StopCallingMeThatTravis: Travis, what did you do?

VAST_SILVER_SLAYER69: Still wasn't me!

DIVINER: Maybe we could talk instead of yelling?

ShennyShen: Hi! I'm Margo Shen!

ShennyShen: But you probably already know that because you hacked into our network!

ShennyShen: Why did you do that, btw?

DoctorKilljoy: I'm fairly certain it was to spy, Margo.

ShennyShen: I don't think spies announce their presence on the group chat, though?

Zo: Aloy, PLEASE tell me you're reading this.

FlameHairSavior: Glinthawks, can't reply.

FlameHairSavior: I'm here though.

RobertFrostWasA_HACK: We are definitely missing something important here.

Zo: I'm sorry that we intruded, but we don't know how we connected to your network.

BoyNextDoor: Alva, these aren't your people?

DIVINER: Nope!

β: im checking things ill figure it out

Zo: Or we can just ask the nice people a few reasonable questions and open a dialogue.

BigMama: I don't know what sort of prank you're playing, but we don't have time for it.

MARSHAL Kotallo: I was about to say something very similar.

FlameHairSavior: Okay, I'm back, everything is dead.

ShennyShen: ????

FlameHairSavior: Who are you people, and how did we get connected to your network?

FlameHairSavior: You don't sound like Eclipse.

BigMama: This is the non-emergency group chat for the project leads assigned to Project Zero Dawn.

BigMama: I am Dr. Elizabet Sobeck, project head.

MARSHAL Kotallo: ...

HIMBO: HUH.

Zo: Um. Well.

BoyNextDoor: wbiufdb lhjasljbu

Zo: Yes, that summarizes my thoughts on the matter.

FlameHairSavior: All right, joke's over.

FlameHairSavior: Who are you and how the FUCK do you know that name.

Zo: Aloy! Beta's here!

β: i know curse words how old do you think i am

VAST_SILVER_SLAYER69: Fuck yeah, kid!

BigMama: Travis, NOT the time.

BigMama: If you people do not start explaining yourselves IMMEDIATELY, I am going to let Travis hack you back into the Stone Age.

FlameHairSavior: Beta, are these your people?

β: i dont think so the data doesnt look familiar

β: besides none of them have called us worms or scum or given us orders

BoyNextDoor: The person who may or may not be Elisabeth Sobeck gave us orders.

HIMBO: I THINK THAT'S MORE OF A DEMAND.

FlameHairSavior: Can you trace them back to wherever they're broadcasting from?

β: i can try

FlameHairSavior: Good. I'll pay them a visit.

DIVINER: Please don't kill them!

FlameHairSavior: I might not kill them.

BigMama: Okay, this has gone on long enough. GAIA, please execute standard intruder purge protocol.

FlameHairSavior: Wait, you know about GAIA?

BigMama: Of course I do. How do YOU know about GAIA?

BigMama: And how are you still here? She should have completed the purge by now.

VAST_SILVER_SLAYER69: Uh, Lis? I'm kiiiinda not getting any answer from GAIA or any of her subordinate functions.

Zo: Aloy, I'm in GAIA's chamber right now, and she's not answering.

ShennyShen: You're where?? I'm in the main AI core, and there's no one else here!

β: uh

β: so

β: i tried to trace the hacks and

β: things got weird

VAST_SILVER_SLAYER69: Yeah, I'm with the kid who or may not be too young to know fuck words.

VAST_SILVER_SLAYER69: If this is a hack, it's the weirdest one I've ever seen.

FlameHairSavior: I'm on my way back. What's wrong?

β: i cant find any trace of a hack

β: and the metadata says that theyre all texting from a thousand years ago

VAST_SILVER_SLAYER69: Yeah, that's pretty much the same on my end.

VAST_SILVER_SLAYER69: Except the new people are texting from a thousand years in the future.

HIMBO: WELL, SHIT.

HIMBO: I'M NOT DRUNK ENOUGH FOR THIS.

BoyNextDoor: All-Mother's eyes, hands, and soul.

HIMBO: I'VE GOT AN ALE WITH YOUR NAME ON IT DOWN HERE.

BigMama: Travis, what EXACTLY are you saying?

VAST_SILVER_SLAYER69: Time travel, boss. They're from the future.

DoctorKilljoy: This is fascinating on a thousand different levels.

RobertFrostWasA_HACK: And existentially terrifying on a thousand more.

DoctorKilljoy: Well, yes, there is some of that as well.

DrPBK: It means we succeeded, does it not? Humanity survived.

DIVINER: Weeeell...

ShennyShen: Oh god. You're aliens, aren't you?

HIMBO: WHAT? LIKE FROM ANOTHER CONTINENT?

MARSHAL Kotallo: Alva is the only one of us not from the local continent.

DIVINER: We really need to have that movie night because you are missing SO MUCH context!

DIVINER: Also I think Beta might technically be an alien?

BoyNextDoor: She's still locked in her loom and this isn't helping.

RobertFrostWasA_HACK: ...loom?

Zo: He uses autocorrect.

RobertFrostWasA_HACK: Ah.

DIVINER: But, uh...

DIVINER: Honored ancestors? (do you still count as ancestors when we haven't been born yet?)

PuppyParade: Speaking as an evolutionary biologist, yes.

PuppyParade: It makes discussion of inheritence easier.

PuppyParade: Though it usually doesn't involve time travel.

DIVINER: You all seem to be taking this rather well??

Kitty_StopCallingMeThatTravis: Speaking personally, there's only so much existential dread you can take before it just starts washing over you.

Captain_RobotKiller: I believe Elisabet might be having a panic attack in her office, though.

BoyNextDoor: Yeah, Beta has locked her door again.

Zo: And I suspect Aloy has gotten into another fight.

FlameHairSavior: Fighting is easier than talking.

Zo: PLEASE don't text and fight at the same time.

VAST_SILVER_SLAYER69: Ha! That sounds like something the boss would do.

HIMBO: LIKE MOTHER LIKE DAUGHTERS, I GUESS.

BigMama: ...I'm sorry, WHAT?

Zo: By all the songs, Erend...

HIMBO: OOPS.

ShennyShen: Elisabet has daughters??

BigMama: I certainly do not.

DrPBK: And if it has been a thousand years, I can't imagine any existing daughters would have survived. Even with some of the cutting-edge life-extension technology people have been talking about.

FlameHairSavior: Erend, I just ripped a cannon off a Thunderjaw, I'm going to come back and shoot you with it.

A.Larsen: ...I have questions.

HIMBO: YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DRAG THAT THING ALL THE WAY BACK HERE, ARE YOU?

MARSHAL Kotallo: I will help.

HIMBO: TRAITOR.

ShennyShen: Wait, does "flame hair" mean red hair?? Like Elisabet??

FlameHairSavior: Erend, have I ever thanked you for this stupid display name?

HIMBO: YOU PUNCHED ME FOR IT, IF THAT COUNTS.

BigMama: If it makes you feel better, I understand the sentiment.

BigMama: Travis hacked the network so I can't change my name back.

RobertFrostWasA_HACK: Oh good, you're bonding with your daughter!

BigMama: Tanaka, please don't.

β: am i the only one worried we dont know what kind of time travel rules were working with

β: we might delete ourselves from existence if we say too much

HIMBO: WE MIGHT WHAT.

DoctorKilljoy: I don't think anyone can call themselves an expert on this subject, but I expect if that was a real danger, it would have happened already.

HIMBO: NO REALLY, WHAT?

BoyNextDoor: I'm with Erend on this, what?

β: its probably fine

FlameHairSavior: If we can change things just by texting the past, I have a list.

MARSHAL Kotallo: An excellent point. Is someone here in charge of the HEPHAESTUS system?

ShennyShen: That's me!

MARSHAL Kotallo: Are there any weaknesses in the system you can tell us?

ShennyShen: wwwwhy would you need to know that?

β: there might have been a small

β: glitch

BoyNextDoor: I thought you said glitches were accidents.

ShennyShen: What's wrong with HEPHAESTUS??

FlameHairSavior: He wants to kill us.

ShennyShen: You specifically, or...

FlameHairSavior: Us specifically, and also everyone else, specifically.

DrPBK: Can we please go back to Elisabet having daughters?

ShennyShen: Can we please stick with what's wrong with HEPHAESTUS!

FlameHairSavior: They're all crazy.

ShennyShen: Who???

FlameHairSavior: The subfunctions.

BoyNextDoor: Wasn't MINERVA fine?

FlameHairSavior: Besides being suicidal? Perfectly fine.

Captain_RobotKiller: Wait, what?

DrPBK: Miss... Aloy, was it? And Beta?

FlameHairSavior: Yes?

β: what

DrPBK: Am I to understand that you are both the result of the Lightkeeper Protocol?

BigMama: Oh god.

FlameHairSavior: Sort of. It's complicated.

BigMama: I discontinued that protocol for a reason.

FlameHairSavior: Sorry to disappoint you with our existence.

BigMama: That's not...

BigMama: I didn't mean it like that.

FlameHairSavior: Okay.

DrPBK: Elisabet canceled the Lightkeeper Protocol because she did not agree with the idea of creating generations upon generations of human beings born with the express purpose of performing a specific task. She was worried about your own lives.

Zo: Oh dear.

BoyNextDoor: Ooh.

HIMBO: OUCH.

MARSHAL Kotallo: Now that is unfortunate.

Kitty_StopCallingMeThatTravis: THAT'S a worrying reaction.

FlameHairSavior: Long story give me a sec.

β: are you fighting again

FlameHairSavior: It's fine, just some bandits harrassing a caravan.

FlameHairSavior: There are only twenty or so.

BigMama: Wait, what? Are you attacking a group of twenty people?

FlameHairSavior: They're distracted, it's no big deal.

A.Larsen: Why are there bandits at all?

ShennyShen: And why did HEPHAESTUS go crazy?

HIMBO: DON'T WORRY ABOUT ALOY, SHE DOES THIS ALL THE TIME.

BigMama: She kills people all the time?

MARSHAL Kotallo: Well, yes. But I believe Erend was referring more to saving the caravan.

DIVINER: She saved my people from our insane leader who thought he was Ted Faro reborn! (no, that doesn't make sense in our religion, he was just crazy)

DoctorKilljoy: I have multiple questions?

Zo: She saved my people as well, though that was more of a religious crisis than a practical one.

β: didnt she kill your god

Zo: It was more of a mercy.

PuppyParade: I'm with Samina on the questions.

HIMBO: SHE SAVED MERIDIAN TWICE!

BoyNextDoor: Wait, twice?

HIMBO: YEAH, THERE WAS A WHOLE THING WITH DERVAHL AND MACHINE LURES AND ALL THAT SCRAP.

FlameHairSavior: That doesn't count as saving the city.

HIMBO: JUST BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T BUILD YOU A STATUE THAT TIME DOESN'T MEAN IT DOESN'T COUNT.

VAST_SILVER_SLAYER69: Of course they built a statue!

BigMama: Not helping, Travis.

VAST_SILVER_SLAYER69: I'm supposed to be helping?

BoyNextDoor: She saved the Sacred Lands at LEAST twice.

FlameHairSavior: I did not. I saved it exactly once, when the Eclipse attacked the second time.

BoyNextDoor: You drove them off the first time, too.

FlameHairSavior: I didn't "drive them off," they finished killing everyone and LEFT.

MARSHAL Kotallo: She saved my chief and restored the sacred Visions of my people.

DIVINER: Oh! And she saved Vegas!

FlameHairSavior: Vegas was not in actual danger, I refuse to take credit for that one.

DIVINER: You still saved it, though!!

ShennyShen: Is anyone going to explain what happened to HEPHAESTUS, or the Lightkeeper Protocol, or ANYTHING?

FlameHairSavior: Basically, GAIA needed an Alpha to open some doors, so she made one.

BoyNextDoor: That is vastly understating your own value and you know it.

Captain_RobotKiller: Why would GAIA need an Alpha? Why not use one of the new Alphas that took over in the new world?

Zo: That... wasn't an option.

Captain_RobotKiller: Why not?

HIMBO: SLAG WENT BAD.

A.Larsen: Expand on "bad."

MARSHAL Kotallo: Ted Faro is an affront to humanity and you should save yourselves a great deal of trouble by stabbing him in the heart.

A.Larsen: ...ah.

BigMama: Ted is under control.

BoyNextDoor: For now.

PuppyParade: I'm just worried that after a thousand years, people apparently STILL hate Faro. I mean, I hate him too, but I would assume it's all just history to you now.

MARSHAL Kotallo: Ted Faro is an affront to humanity and you should save ALL OF US a great deal of trouble by stabbing him in the heart.

PuppyParade: Ah.

HIMBO: ALOY REFUSED TO PISS ON HIS GRAVE.

PuppyParade: ...okay?

Zo: Maybe don't bring that up right now.

FlameHairSavior: Or ever, thanks.

Zo: Are you done with the bandits?

FlameHairSavior: Yeah, just have to talk to the caravan.

MARSHAL Kotallo: Are they Tenakth?

FlameHairSavior: Oseram escorting a Carja priest.

MARSHAL Kotallo: ...how have they possibly survived so long in the Clanlands?

FlameHairSavior: I've been listening to this guy for thirty seconds and I'm already wondering why his own guards haven't killed him yet.

DoctorKilljoy: Oh, are those new cultures? I'm curious to hear about how APOLLO influenced human development!

Zo: Samina Ebadji, I presume?

DoctorKilljoy: Yes, you know me? Did you like my introduction holo for APOLLO?

β: i did

β: it was nice

PuppyParade: How did the re-introduction of the stage two organisms go?

BoyNextDoor: That's the part where the new humans help GAIA rebuild the ecosystem, right?

PuppyParade: Part of it, yes.

BoyNextDoor: What's a puppy parade, anyway?

β: puppies are baby dogs

PuppyParade: ...why do you not know what puppies are

HIMBO: SLAG WENT BAD.

RobertFrostWasA_HACK: Dear God in Heaven, what exactly happened?

VAST_SILVER_SLAYER69: I've got the data.

ShennyShen: You what?

β: i sent him everything that might possibly be relevant

β: history politics that sort of thing

VAST_SILVER_SLAYER69: And I'm sending her everything on HEPHAESTUS, then anything else I can think of! Not sure how much it will help, but it can't hurt!

BigMama: Ah, I was wondering why you were being so quiet.

VAST_SILVER_SLAYER69: Silent and effective, that's me!

VAST_SILVER_SLAYER69: [MissionAccomplishedExplosion.gif]

FlameHairSavior: You're like Alva's skills with Erend's personality.

VAST_SILVER_SLAYER69: I'll take that as a compliment!

FlameHairSavior: You shouldn't.

DIVINER: Uh, should I take that as an insult?

FlameHairSavior: Of course not, you're fine.

HIMBO: THERE IS NO WAY THIS GUY IS ANYTHING LIKE ME.

VAST_SILVER_SLAYER69: ...why am I offended by that??

HIMBO: I'VE SEEN PICTURES. THERE'S NO WAY THIS GUY COULD EVEN LIFT A HAMMER, MUCH LESS HOLD HIS LIQUOR.

BoyNextDoor: Wait, you finally looked at GAIA's orientation packet?

HIMBO: I DID THAT AGES AGO. AND I CAN TELL YOU THAT THIS TATE GUY WOULD NEVER WIN A DRINKING CONTEST.

VAST_SILVER_SLAYER69: Oh buddy, oh pal.

VAST_SILVER_SLAYER69: How fall you have fallen. How much culture has been lost.

VAST_SILVER_SLAYER69: The point of a drinking contest isn't to WIN, it's to experience a drinking contest.

HIMBO: ...

HIMBO: ALL RIGHT, MAYBE THIS GUY'S NOT SO BAD.

BigMama: Oh good, you have the reincarnation of Travis Tate looking after you. That's... great.

FlameHairSavior: We're doing fine.

BigMama: Are you? You've mentioned multiple fights in the short time we've been talking.

FlameHairSavior: And I survived.

BigMama: Is that all you have to say?

FlameHairSavior: Yes.

Zo: Aloy, perhaps don't be so short with your mother?

FlameHairSavior: I don't think cloning counts.

β: its not like well ever meet her for real

Zo: A woman who shares your blood is worried for your well-being, that sounds like a mother to me.

DrPBK: Oh, certainly.

RobertFrostWasA_HACK: I have to agree.

ShennyShen: Yeah, that combo of competence and social anxiety had to come from Liz!

DoctorKilljoy: You know the more we tease her, the more she's going to deny it?

MARSHAL Kotallo: It seems you figured out Aloy quite quickly.

DoctorKilljoy: Actually, I was talking about Elisabet?

HIMBO: LIKE MOTHERS LIKE DAUGHTERS.

BigMama: You people are going to be the death of me.

β: thats in the data packet too

BigMama: ...right.

BigMama: So, Beta, was it? Is that a nickname of some sort?

β: no

BigMama: So you were literally named Beta.

β: yes

HIMBO: WAIT, I THOUGHT IT WAS SHORT FOR ELISABET.

BoyNextDoor: Same here.

β: its not

BigMama: And why, exactly, did GAIA see the need to create two clones, one LITERALLY named Beta?

β: she didnt

BigMama: What's that supposed to mean?

FlameHairSavior: Tilda is a bitch is what it means.

BigMama: Tilda is dead. I mean, she's dead NOW, her ship blew up. How is she relevant to your time period?

FlameHairSavior: Let me clear this up:

FlameHairSavior: Tilda IS a bitch.

BigMama: ...oh ffs.

A.Larsen: I always knew there was something fishy there.

BigMama: I never should have trusted them.

RobertFrostWasA_HACK: We can deal with it later, after we've looked through the data. We shouldn't waste any of this time with business, we should try to connect to our descendants.

Kitty_StopCallingMeThatTravis: Correct. We don't know how long this will last.

BigMama: I suppose.

ShennyShen: Wait, wait! Future people!

ShennyShen: What's the date on your end?

VAST_SILVER_SLAYER69: Same as us!

Zo: Winter solstice, to be specific.

β: december 25

ShennyShen: So that means this is a Christmas miracle!

BoyNextDoor: I suppose there's no way to describe randomly connecting two groups over a thousand years as anything but a miracle.

BoyNextDoor: Though I'm curious what GAIA will think when we talk to her about this.

HIMBO: WHAT'S CHRISTMAS?

[FlameHairSavior], [Zo], [BoyNextDoor], [HIMBO], [MARSHAL Kotallo], [β], and [DIVINER] have left the group

This omake was more fun to write than it had any right to be. Clarity for anyone who hasn't bothered to memorize the list of Alphas (because only two or three of them are relevant): BigMama: Elisabet Sobeck (GAIA) A.Larsen: Anders Larsen (AETHER) DoctorKilljoy: Samina Ebadji (APOLLO) PuppyParade: Charles Ronson (ARTEMIS) RobertFrostWasA_HACK: Tanaka Naoto (DEMETER) DrPBK: Patrick Brochard-Klein (ELEUTHIA) VAST_SILVER_SLAYER69: Travis Tate (HADES) ShennyShen: Margo Shen (HEPHAESTUS) Captain_RobotKiller: Ayomide Okilo (MINERVA) Kitty_StopCallingMeThatTravis: Catalina Garcia (POSEIDON) Now guess which ones were named by Travis Tate.

Chapter 44 (non-canon omake) | Prev chapter | Next chapter Chapter Index

#horizon #horizon zero dawn #horizon forbidden west #HZDBaseChat #aloy #zo #varl #beta horizon #erend vanguardsman #kotallo #alva #elisabet sobeck #travis tate

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mbti-notes · 1 year

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Hello MBTI-Notes. How can I start new relationships without expecting them to grow deeper and longer? I have this problem where whenever I meet someone with similar tastes and interests as mine, I find myself imagining a friendship/romance and expecting to be a priority in that person's life, which is a bad thing because it makes me needy and desperate for attention.

1) Expectations: The expectations are just the symptom, not the root of the matter. Problematic expectations come out of the deeper issue of living in fantasy or having a distorted view of reality. No matter how hard you try to adjust your thinking, you cannot achieve realistic expectations as long as you refuse to see reality (unhealthy Ni).

Why do people choose to live in fantasy? Usually it's because they prefer it to the "harshness" of reality. In other words, they can't handle negativity and/or unpredictability, so they retreat into their own version of reality where there's no negativity and they control everything.

According to the psychology of habitual behavior, you won't be able to stop any kind of bad habit as long as you are:

unwilling to give up the gains/benefits that you derive from it and,

willfully ignoring the negative consequences that arise from it.

An easy example to understand is addiction. It's hard to break an addiction because the "high" you obtain is a chance to experience pleasure and mentally escape from life's intractable problems. This gain/benefit is too compelling for addicts to give up, even in the face of self-destruction.

In the same vein, are you willing to give up the gains/benefits of your "addiction" to living in fantasy? Firstly, you have to be aware of what they are, so list them. Secondly, you have to finally realize that those "gains" or "benefits" are actually false and harming you and not worth chasing. Thirdly and most importantly, you have to place more value on the real gains/benefits of breaking the habit and replacing it with a better one.

Reflect: What do you have to gain by being more realistic in your approach to relationships? Do you really want those gains (more than the gains of fantasy)? Are you willing to work for those gains?

2) Neediness: Another aspect of your question is desperate/needy behavior. This might be an indication that there's something off about your approach to relationships. We all need love. The need for love comes from a positive and constructive place of building a meaningful life. Neediness, however, is different, because it comes from a negative and self-sabotaging place such as: insecurity, self-loathing, emptiness, vanity, greed, etc. You'll have to do some self-reflection to see what's really at the bottom of your neediness. It sounds like you have a desire to "merge" yourself with someone, which is a dangerous way of thinking if it means lack of boundaries and losing yourself in the process (unhealthy Fe).

In some cases, neediness can be ameliorated by nurturing independence. Do you suffer from extreme beliefs that relationships are everything or the answer to all your problems etc? Do you suffer from obsessiveness, often fixating on a person, wanting them to be everything and give you everything you want? You need to correct these kinds of faulty beliefs because they make your worldview too small, narrow, and distorted.

There are lots of things in life that are important and require your attention outside of relationships. Be a more well-rounded person by giving enough attention to every aspect of life that is important for your personal growth, rather than devoting everything to relationships. Be more flexible and open-minded so that you can see and experience all the many different kinds of relationships out there, rather than limiting yourself to just one person or one singular purpose. This will help you put relationships in the right perspective, in terms of assigning them a healthier role in your life.

In the process of making these macro level adjustments to your life, the growth you undergo will naturally make you into a more attractive and capable candidate for relationships. Wouldn't it be nice to be sought out instead of the one always seeking?

3) Education: Another thing you can do is learn about your attachment style and understand how it influences your current approach to relationships. What lessons have you learned about how to conduct relationships? Were they good lessons to learn?

The fact is most of us learn about relationships from the adults we had most contact with as children. If they were not good role models and inadvertently passed down unhealthy relationship behavior to you, then an important part of your personal growth should involve correcting those unhealthy patterns and learning healthier ones. Things like communication skills, conflict resolution skills, boundary setting, and emotional intelligence are all important things to learn and improve on if you hope to be more socially competent.

#infj #infj relationships #expectations #fantasizing #neediness #independence #attachment style #relationships #ask

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irritablepoe · 7 months

Note

How do I approach reading poetry?

hiii, omg, i'm glad you're asking hehe :3

first of all, there's no "correct way" of reading poetry ofc, and i'm also no literature student, so i don't have the correct words for everything, so just keep that in mind :)

at first you have to figure out what poems you want or have to read, depending what you're reading it for (like for fun or education yk). i personally think that to feel the poem you have to read it to yourself multiple times and assigning your own meaning to it (if you find it in the poem ofc, some poems are just not for everyone and that's okay :3). to understand the poem you might want to add some historical and periodic context, and maybe also some basic personal context of the poet themselves (though, this is probably only relevant when they are classic poets). my tip is to find out the leitmotif of a specific period which probably makes the poem make a lot more sense.

just for an example: romanticism was mainly a movement as a reaction to the rationalization of nature (meaning science and the industrial revolution) in which emotions were being conveyed through the metaphor of nature and the desire to experience it (kind of like a rebellion against rationalism? there's a lot more to it with patriotism/nationalism and stuff but that's like the main thing). so in the literature in this period, nature and wanderlust were a big leitmotif here. i mostly know german poets so the best example of this would probably be eichendorff and brentano here, though idk how good the translations are but it's just an example anyways here.

i'll link a website here (all poems) and here (all poets), it's the poetry foundation and you can find and explore a lot there, there are also articles and stuff, it's really cool!

i don't read as much poetry as i'd like to but i'm just gonna try and explain how i personally do it:

i read it a first time, which gives me a general idea of what it's about and i'm probably going to get a few ideas on which period it is from (only specific ones though, as i said, i'm not an expert by any means). also i really really focus on it. i think poems can't really be read like a book, it's more like you taking a bite out of it and savour it with each verse yk? i know it sounds a little pretentious but you gotta go along with it a little bit, it's poetry after all...

i reread it and maybe take note of verses that i really connect with. although i'm fascinated by how history can influence texts, i'm a big fan of making my own interpretation as well. if i really like and connect to a poem i google the poet and look at their life (if i haven't done it before that is). oftentimes similar poets or poets of that time appear on the wiki page and i've realized that you're kind of "jumping" from one author to the next and check them out (not only with poetry but with all sorts of things). example would also be that if you look at goethe's life you're bound to cross schiller as well and then you're probably going to check his works out as well, you know what i mean?

the last thing i do is look at the structure, yes yes, i know, my german teacher would kill me for this and yes yes the poem can carry a lot of meaning behind what is said however, if i don't notice it the first few times i read it, it doesn't seem as meaningful to me, i'm just saying...

sometimes i like listening to poems too, i highly recommend rachel oates on youtube, she has some great poetry herself and i want to buy her book so badly! she reads some of her favorite poems in some of her videos and the way she reads them is just *chefs kiss*

yeah, uhm, that's pretty long and idk if that helped. i googled the question too just now and it focuses more on the structure and the reading aloud of the poem itself so idk if that helps more

thank you again for the ask! this was quite fun :D

#-johnny's asks

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my-reality-my-rules · 2 years

Note

Hi! I have some questions about shifting and I hope you answer them

If your DR is in another language. Do you still remember it when you come back to CR.

Another thing is I want to put photographic memory in the script. Do you still remember everything that you learned there. Did it change anything in your CR

[thanks for this ask!]

yes, and no.

- - -

I've answered a few questions similar to this one, and i always give descriptions on how it feels for me when i bring back knowledge from my DR. the closest example i could give was when a limb 'fell asleep', and the person's body is 'waking up'. you know when your butt feels numb, after sitting in one position for an extended period of time? or when you've been laying down on an arm for too long. it's similar to that.

the language used in my naruto DR is japanese. i am not literate in japanese in my CR, at least not to the extent that I've been aiming for yet. i do remember some small phrases and sentences here and there, but that's just because i wanted to learn the language on my own, develop it and actually train myself to understand it. lmfao I'm still barely at the N5 level here, despite scripting that i am literate in japanese in my DR—with a few circumstances affecting that, but i digress.

you could pick languages up eventually, when you care to practice enough in your CR. it's also akin to muscle memory, though instead of retraining a physical muscle, it's more of transferring the knowledge you've gained and try to do it with the best of your abilities.

- - -

lastly, that bit on photographic memory—alright, at least half of the improvements my CR body has gone through were caused by direct manifestations only inside my CR. even before i fully, actively shifted, i was already trying to shape myself to be better. but I've also scripted that some of the physical developments i experience in my naruto DR transfer over to my CR self, for example enhanced memory and eyesight. so, sometimes, i don't question whether the changes i received in my CR body came from my manifestations here, or from there—only that they happened, and I'm grateful.

but what i can say about the eidetic memory is that while no, i don't necessarily retain everything from my DR, i still have some very good recollections of what i know. my personal theory on this is that, if your DR and CR bodies are vastly different from one another, only the knowledge of reality-bound, physically feasible things can be transferred. ok—wait. that sounds a bit confusing, so let me try to paraphrase what i just said 😭😭

i don't have an eidetic/photographic memory in my CR, so while I'm in it, i can't remember the things that my DR self would be able to. not in the way it counted, which, by the general term, is being able to recall everything in perfect clarity. my actual experience of shifting back from a reality where i have it is more based on intuitions and half-associations than anything. like, it's not always about being able to recall every single detail—fuck knows I've already had a shitty memory to begin with—but I'm more attuned to the feelings my mind has assigned things.

it has changed things in my CR, though. I've noticed only recently that i slowly became incredibly averse to touch, and tend to fall into that habit of staying in corners where i can defend myself best. I've picked up a tendency of being thorough when questioning someone, and developed a bit more subtlety when I'm off to ask for favours. the knowledge from my DR is there, at the back of my mind, but even before shifting, i already liked to compartmentalise, so the thoughts aren't prominent. there's this,,,, subtle niggling(?) that's directing me just how to do things, and efficiently. so, there's that.

- - -

HELP idk if i answered your questions in a way that actually made sense, but if they do, i do hope that the response could at least give insight lmao.

other than that, much love, and happy shifting ❤️❤️

#shifting #shifting realities #reality shifting #desired reality #shift #Esther's shifting posts

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wearequeer-andwearehere · 2 years

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hi Aryan. hope today is serving you well.

im in a bit of a dilemma. im afab but i deeply resonate with transfemininity. ive always felt kindof... manish about myself. i never considered myself a girl or a woman. im not feminine at all and my whole body just feels so... idk how to say it without sounding weird or rude or whatever but know i just dont feel very girl at all. but i feel so drawn to femininity, and becauee kf that i sort of relate to transfem people.

i want to explore being feminine in a similar way to them, like i wanna discover my own femininity and transwomen and transfem people have really inspired me to do that for myself.

if i was being 100% honest, i sort of consider myself transfem because of my experience with my body and my gender and all that but i know as an afab person, calling myself transfem will make alot of people yell at me for "coopting the transfem experience" or "being transphobic/insensitive to "actual" transfems/transwomen" but I can't lie about what I know is true about myself...

idk what to do or say. ik youre gonna say i cant call myself transfem because im afab and being transfem is a amab only experience and label, so is there any other way to explain what im going through? thanks

It’s more you *were* AFAB then are—it’s something you were assigned and it happened in the past, doesn’t define you so it doesn’t make sense to use present tense.

And it isn’t a label exclusive to people who were AMAB, there are AFAB intersex people who were raised as male and are transfem.

Adfeminine is the umbrella term for anyone who is transitioning to femininity, whatever form that may take.

You say you don’t identify as a girl at all, but you’re drawn to femininity, and I’m seeing some mental conflict here—you know you don’t have to be a girl to be feminine, right? Femininity isn’t connected to girlhood and girlhood only—people of all genders can be feminine and exploration of that femininity is not a uniquely transfem experience.

Honestly? I’d suggest getting more involved in the queer community, especially among gender non conforming people, and the queer male community, especially the transmasculine community. There are many ways to explore femininity without it being connected to girlhood or specifically the transfem experience.

I hope I could help you out, feel free to send any further questions you have!

#ask #anon

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disengaged · 2 years

Note

i'm not entirely sure how to put this into words, but do you think that, to identify as trans, you have to have "enough" gender dysphoria, like you have to check off a certain amount of symptoms to qualify as trans? i've just been thinking a lot and, while i don't quite feel a sense of wrongness in myself, i don't feel rightness either and i just wish i were different altogether, but i don't know what that means to me. i've definitely had thoughts of being the opposite sex and wishing i had certain qualities of theirs, but it's difficult to tell if it's just insecurities or actual dysphoria that i'm feeling. i'm sorry if this sounds rude or anything, i was just hoping you could help make some sense of these thoughts. hope you have a nice day!

i appreciate that you've worded it this way instead of just saying "are u truscum 🤨" but alas, it's essentially the same question

& my answer is ..... uh .....?? while i don't think medical transition should be considered necessary (or feasible, or desired) for everyone, i do kinda fundamentally believe you need some kind of gender dysphoria to be trans (bc that is. the entire premise of the thing. base requirement. like how else would you know. yknow.) but that could be socially, physically, whatever.

worth noting: i think the DSM-5 is a load of shit, and i don't believe in a formal """"checklist"""" of Trans Symptoms. i categorically reject the pathologization of my existence haha uwu

i guess my advice to you would be this: think hard about it. read books. go attend a queer group or something. im definitely not the "AHHHH DONT CALL YOURSELF TRANS WHAT IF YOU REGRET IT!!!!!" type of guy (??? you can call yourself whatever you want at any time and no one can stop you), but .... there is power in assigning a label to yourself, and i'd advise you to think deeply about whether that label is right for you.

i say this because the phrase "i just wish i were different altogether" .......... kinda makes me feel like you may have more feelings abt yourself than just your sex/gender/gender presentation, and it'd probably be beneficial to examine those. yknow, see what underlying or concomitant issues you've got going on. it might help clear the muddy waters a bit.

is the desire to be perceived as something other than your AGAB the main source of your discomfort, or is it something else? do you envy those certain qualities of the 'opposite sex' (problematic term alert) because they're qualities of the gender you wish you were, because you're attracted to them, or because they're attractive features & you wish you were more attractive? i can't answer those questions for you.

if all you've got is an abstract feeling of dysphoria, there could be a vast number of causes for that. it could be gender dysphoria, or it could be something else (insecurity about appearance, insecurity in life, being depressed, lack of stable identity, just plain hating gender roles and social norms bc they suck, etc).

so yknow. i can't tell you if you're trans or not. no one can. your mom can't, your doctor can't, your psychologist can't, your best friend can't. there's no single, agreed-upon checklist to be trans. plenty of cis folks are GNC without being trans, and plenty of trans people present as/similar to their AGAB without being cis. i could try to describe what gender dysphoria feels like to me, but it could feel completely different to someone else, i have no idea. it's not something that can be measured on a physical scale.

tldr; it's up to you if you want to call yourself trans or not. you might be, or you might not be. only you can figure that out for yourself.

(aka the least helpful advice ever tee hee)

#dunno how to properly answer this but that's all i've got #feel free to come back to my inbox if you have clarifying questions 🥴#i'm not some trans gatekeeper or anything. like what's the worst that happens #you call yourself trans on the internet and then later on realize it doesn't fit?#if you're contemplating medical transition that's a different story bc a) there Are symptom checklists lol & b) it's expensive & permanent #if that were the case i'd be like 'yeah maybe you need to think this over a lot more'#but if you're just exploring your identity right now then yknow .......... explore away i guess. talk deeply and honestly w yourself #being trans straight up sucks and is also something i am fiercely proud of and happy to be #asks #anon #long post -#pegs gives advice

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kinetic-socks · 2 months

Text

brain: ok now that we're working you're stuck in a similar way to before. you could not make yourself work. Now there is no stopping.

me: why are we here then?

brain: you were writing for a good while! wanted to celebrate.

me: sounds nice. let's get back to it?

brain: hopefully. your hands feel a bit glued to the keyboard rather than your pencil.

me: we were in the groove, I know where we left off. let's go back now. love you

brain: love you too. talk to me more when I'm not causing you trouble with your assignments, please?

me: I'll try to remember. is there really no other way for you to get my attention?

brain: asking questions means more time away from the essay. but no, not that I know of. even making you sad for no reason doesn't work to get your attention, it just punishes you for not noticing me. and you don't usually realize. or you overthink it instead of listening to me and can't figure out what I want.

me: what do you want?

brain: I want you to ask again later, even after we've finished the assignment. will you remember to? I don't know if I should ask you to do it right after because you'll be tired. Will you remember, wrapped up in your relief and exhaustion? Will you remember me when you wake up? Ask me some more, why I fight you about working all the time?

me: I hope so. I'll try and get back to it now. It's really tempting to keep talking to you. Maybe it's the tiredness stripping my inhibitions, but I don't know if I've ever gotten such clarity from you.

brain: yeah, you usually overthink by yourself instead of talking to me. go do your work.

me: okay, thanks. post now

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uncloseted · 3 months

Note

but femininity and womanhood aren't the same thing. you even said it. you're contradicting yourself. "she wasn't girly like other girls so she probably wasn't a girl. or maybe she was!" that sounds insane and also it makes no sense. it's progressive now to say that if girls don't like to be feminine they (probably) aren't girls?. even if it's a common experience for nb people, no one would've guessed that miley cyrus would come out as nb. most people don't even remember or care. a lot of people

who might seem cis (and not just from the way they look) would say that they're "just a person" or "just me". and i don't recall franky being asked about her gender. people just kept pressuring her to come out as a lesbian. and also many lesbians identify as non binary or even transmasculine. you don't believe me because you're not a lesbian. you have your statistics and studies but i know the real people i've seen. and i know i'm really annoying with this but my only friend changes the subject

when i try to talk about gender, my therapist i can't debate with, and people at suicide hotlines have better things to do. i'm literally going insane because I can't believe I'm the only one who sees this

With all due respect, I don't know what you're expecting to get out of this message. I've given you my views on this several times. I've unpacked the metaphysics of gender and provided a biopsychosocial model of gender that I think is compelling. As you say, I've given you statistics and studies about trans and nonbinary identities. I've given examples that you might be able to relate to of what the trans experience is like and provided resources created by trans people to help you understand how they view themselves and what their experience is like. You don't have to agree with me. But you know my views on this. You're not going to change my mind by trying to catch me in hypothetical "gotchas" about fictional characters. And I mean this with all the love and respect in the world, but if you feel like you have to call suicide hotlines to discuss your views on gender, it may be taking up too much of your mental energy. At the end of the day, whether you "get it" or not, whether you agree with it or not, the way other people live their lives isn't your responsibility. It's okay to be like "wow, that's weird and I don't get it, couldn't be me" and then move on.

All that said, against my better judgement, I'm going to answer the questions you've presented in your ask. Not because I think it will change your mind, but because I think it might help other people who are seeing this post to understand.

The original ask was about why people felt like Franky should have been nonbinary and the answer I gave is what I think. Rightly or wrongly, nonbinary people saw themselves in Franky's experience and they wanted that to be an official aspect of her character. I think masc or gender nonconforming lesbians felt a similar kinship to Franky and wanted that to become an official part of her character, too. There's nothing wrong with wanting to see yourself reflected on television or relating to characters who present themselves similarly to you. I think because Franky's gender identity was never really explored in series 5, lots of different types of people could relate to her experience.

Gender expression is a very personal thing, and people can present themselves in similar ways for different reasons. It's like we were talking about the other day with "dressing like a lesbian" - a girl can dress cottagecore in a tradwife way or in a lesbian way, and it's hard to know which it is without more context about the way the person views themselves. The same is true for people who present themselves in a way that's different from the traditional presentation of their assigned sex at birth. Some AFAB people present in a traditionally masculine way as an expression of their non-binary or trans identity. Other AFAB people present in a traditionally masculine way as an expression of their lesbian or WLW identity. Other cis AFAB people present in a traditionally masculine way because they just like how that style looks on them, or because they deal with body dysmorphia, or because they're a "tomboy", or because it works better for the lifestyle they have and activities they engage in, or a hundred other different reasons. Without talking to them, you don't know what their reasoning is for presenting the way they do. It's less that "if girls don't like to be feminine they (probably) aren't girls?" and more like "if people who were assigned female at birth don't like to be feminine, one of the possibilities is that they're trans/non-binary/genderqueer/genderfluid."

In Franky's case, she dresses in a way that's gender non-conforming, so she might be a girl, or she might not. We never really get Franky's view on it in series 5 of the show. In series 6 the official answer becomes, "Franky is a straight, cis woman who was uncomfortable with herself in series 5, but now that she's feeling confident, she presents herself as femme." That was a disappointing answer for a lot of people, nonbinary people and lesbians alike, and I think is a big reason why people still talk about it all these years later.

Also, and I say this with no respect, you can fuck right off with your assumptions about my sexuality. I am, and always have been, a proud member of the LGBT+ community, to the point where I live in a historically queer neighborhood to be closer to my community. That's one of the reasons I care about this so deeply and fight to protect the trans people.

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candymeowz · 3 years

Text

General Sentient!OM!Brothers Headcanons:

Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan and Asmodeus.

What would it be like if the characters inside your phone... are alive?

Lucifer... never expected this honestly, to suddenly be aware of his surroundings.

Rows of random letters and numbers filled a vast area of emptiness.

It looks similar to whatever it is Leviathan goes to fix whenever his computer crashes.

Speaking of his brothers, he found Mammon when he accidentally purposefully, like the clever demon he is, activated a code that visualized his brother.

"Ah, there you are, Mammon. I was wondering if you could tell me what's going on."

Yet, Mammon doesn't respond to any of his words... Can't respond to whatever words he speaks.

Lifeless.

And so is the rest of his brothers, and Diavolo and Barbatos, as well as the angel, wizard, and even the Chihuahua.

Are all his memories... a lie?

He desperately calmly searched through the numbers and letters, trying to understand how this world works inside this device (The cringe he felt when he found out he was a dateable character in an otome game...), trying and failing to find someone, anyone-

A sudden tap alerts him of another person in this world.

Another sentient person, on the other side of the giant screen he could never pass through.

Mc, his mind supplies.

The only person Lucifer can interact with.

(They look exactly like the Mc in the exchange program, and still cute, but he never thought that, nope)

He shouldn't scare them away. Couldn't.

He doesn't want to be alone.

He only follows the codes, saying the programmed words of the game as to not scare them away.

As long as he has some form of interaction, he's satisfied.

He does, however, adds a few lines here and there to know more about Mc.

"Have you finished your assignment?"

Mc thinks assignment is another word for task and ignores him.

Sometimes Mc entertains his questions, other times, they don't.

He's fine with that, as long as Mc keeps playing the game.

Sometimes, he'd help Mc out, whenever they really want a card.

Tweak the chances a bit, giving Mc a slight higher chance (by about... 20%) to win the card they want.

The pure joy on their face is worth it.

He'd also somehow earn money by using the stock-market under a fake identity and buy gifts for Mc.

Mc was a bit weirded out but grateful for the random gifts sent to their house from their 'secret admirer'.

In the time when Mc's not on their device, he'd explore it's contents.

Looking at their photos, videos and old conversations, staring sorrowfully at character cards of his brothers and the life he could have had...

Sometimes he'd go into lessons or events to give the simulation of interacting with his brothers.

Mc is confused when there's a lot of recommendation for classical music in their youtube account.

Wha- Where is he?!

Last Mammon checked he was... Where was he...?

The letters and numbers are too confusing for the poor demon... Luciferrr!

"I wonder what this does?" Pokes random set of code.

"MAMMOOON!"

He jumped back, eyes rapidly searching the source of the voice that sounded a lot like Lucifer when he's mad.

Stares at the set of code suspiciously, pokes it another time.

Sighs in relief when he realizes that plays the audio... So Lucifer isn't hidden somewhere ready to surprise him.

Why would anyone want to record his brother's scary voice? Some weirdo, probably.

Anyways, where is everyone?

He starts poking random codes, some containing audios, some reveals random places from the Devildom and Celestial realm, and...

Beelzebub in a lion outfit?

Beelzebub in a lion outfit!

Why is Beelzebub ignoring him? Stop staring! That's creepy.

Seriously though, stop staring.

He's not moving...

Is he dead?!

Rapidly presses random codes, searching for his other brothers.

Help! Beelzebub's not moving!

Ends up jamming the phone.

He doesn't have the time to be stuck, damn it!

Urgh, Let. Him. Move!

A few codings light up, resetting everything to how it originally was, a familiar voice wafting through his ears.

MC! As cute as always...

Wait, don't scream! Why are you screaming?

Yes, I can hear you, what about it?

I can't get to you, you're stuck on the other side of this invisible wall!

Look, Beelzebub needs help- He's... disappeared.

... what's going on?

... So, he's been a fictional character in a fictional world from an otome game this. entire. time?

And his brothers never actually existed...

After simultaneously experiencing a life crisis and going through the seven stages of grief, he finally accepts his new life.

Did he even have an old life to begin with?

Mammon doesn't like to think.

Anyways, MC would know of his sentience the moment he himself notices it.

And they'd be happy about it because they can talk to their favourite character!

Mammon would always manipulate the gacha games to give MC all they rarest cards.

At one point, MC received an all UR 10 pull...

"Stop it, Mammon, the developers would ban me from the game!"

He only wanted to make MC happy...

In times MC is not playing obey me, he'd watch whatever MC's doing from the background or if they're not even using the phone, he'd watch random comedic videos or search for ways to earn money.

One time he clicked a suspicious link in promise of money and was met with a jump scare.

He never clicked on a scam link ever again.

Got MC in trouble for trying to hack into a bank using their account...

At least with MC knowing of his sentience, they'll never leave him alone!

Right, Mc?

Plus, he's got MC all to himself...

Is it bad he wants both Mc and his brothers?

He knew it.

Leviathan knew his life was as meaningless as he thought.

Just looking at the series of mathematicaal and roman numerals, he understood the situation.

He's watched too many isekai and sci-fi anime not to know.

Looking through the folders of codes and images, he was able to find out he's a character in an otome game with developers that can't dress their characters to save their lives.

Why would anyone want to dress a yucky otaku like him- Wait, Lucifer wearing a unicorn onesie?

Oh, he's got to see this!

An hour of laughing passes and his stomach is hurting.

Leviathan continues exploring the game even further and played around for a while before being washed over by a feeling of... loneliness.

Okay, even though he did say he's a worthless yucky shut-in otaku who rarely leaves his room and has no friends and probably don't deserve any in the first place...

He didn't actually want it to be true!

He means, at least before he has his brothers to annoy him!

When is before...?

He looked once more at the lifeless Lucifer wearing a unicorn onesie, wishing Lucifer could actually see and hear him.

He then notices the giant screen and sees...

MC!

Mc's the player?!

He knew they're better than normies!

No normies would ever play an otome game like this!

Hey, Mc! Come visit 'Obey me'!

Seriously, what sort of name is 'obey me'?

Only a normie would suggest that.

Oh, he was calling for Mc. MC!!!

Wait, what would he tell Mc? Maybe they don't even like him? They'd probably prefer his brothers over him.

Maybe his brothers should've been the one to gain sentience, not him... Mc would be so much happier...

Oh no, Mc clicked the 'Obey me' app!

He shuts his eyes.

"...Leviathan? Why is there no bubble speech appearing?"

He slowly opens his eyes and... Did Mc set him as their homescreen?

"Wha-Whaaaat?"

Mc furrowed their eyebrows.

"That's a new one... Is there a new update?"

"You- you- Whaaaattt?!? Why am I your homescreen? This is totally a pity spot, isn't it?! Isn't it?!"

Him being in the homescreen must be a deficiency in the codes or something. There's no way that Mc-

Mc called his name.

Yes, he's alive Mc.

Yes, he can hear you, Mc.

No, he doesn't know why he's alive, Mc. Trust him, he'd rather be unalive as well.

Yes, you love him, Mc-

You love him?!

Yo-You're joking, right?! Stop playing such a cruel joke, Mc! His heart can't take it.

Stop lying!!!

... He really is Mc's favorite character?

Leviathan would take time to believe Mc's words, but he'd be happy to watch anime and read mangas with Mc!

Would definitely try to help get premium access to certain series and manhwa for Mc and would most likely succeed.

The sudden influx of in-game currency? Yes, praise Leviathan, for he is the great lord of shadows and is always willing to help his henry.

Okay, you can stop praising him now, Mc. He's about to explode.

Continues giving Mc free in-game money and somehow avoiding the suspicions of the developers.

He'd also protect Mc's phone from any and all viruses and intruders.

When MC's not playing, he'd play online games under aliases or watch something from the library of human-world anime.

The Obey Me anime is his all-time favorite, even more than Ruri-chan.

That Leviathan looks so happy with his brothers...

This is interesting.

Satan knows the basics of how coding works, but he can't say he's able to interpret these specific series of letters and numbers...

If only he knows how to get to his room... There's a book on programming somewhere on his 7th shelf that could help him decipher this computer language.

Should he press a random set of codes or should he try to search for a way to interpret them first?

Being a safe demon, he decided the latter.

Oh, how he regretted that. He's been walking through this endless maze of unreadable numerals for almost an hour now- and he still hasn't found a way out.

Nor has he figured out what that one giant invisible wall is there for.

So far it seems to be a blank canvas...

To hell with it, he's lost his patience.

Punches the nearest set of letters- which happens to be an audio code.

Satan covers his ears, the sound a little too loud for his liking, prompting him to turn into his demon form and ready to fight this code-

The music stops and the outside world brightens up.

He looked over where the invisible wall spreads and saw Mc, yawning and muttering unintelligible words, with bedhair poking out everywhere.

Is this Mc's DDD?

Should... Should he call out to them?

He has a feeling he shouldn't or they might freak out...

He watched as Mc left his field of vision and glares at the offending code, choosing instead to hit another code that didn't have the words "playSound" in it.

For a demon full of knowledge, he sure can be an idiot sometimes.

At least no one's there to witness him, he thought, as the author writes the inner workings of his mind.

Anyways, once he understands what's going on and how his life is a lie -"I'm not Lucifer's creation!"- Satan is one to be subtle in his conduct and actions like his father.

He wouldn't want to scare Mc, since they're the only person he can directly interact with.

But he does still want to chat with them...

So, fake online friend it is!

Learns of 'Roleplays' and tries to rope Mc into one with a 'Satan roleplayer'.

He grins when he succeeds, glad that he is Mc's favorite character.

Talks about nothing and everything, and involuntarily falls for them.

But a screen still seperates them, unfortunately.

Might start to search for ways for a sentient character to escape the world of codes.

Note to self: Use incognito or else Mc can see his search history.

No one needs to know of the multitude of different cat costumes he's searched up.

He's made fake accounts to create chaos in facebook and twitter.

The arguments between strangers is free entertainment to him.

He's also mostly on youtube watching cat videos for hours on end.

Or in the internet library, reading to his hearts' content.

But no matter what he does, there's always something... empty in his heart.

It's weird how he's missing a life he never had.

Oh my, where is he?

There's too much incomprehensible words, his brain's getting dizzy.

Stress isn't good for the skin!

He vaguely recalls Leviathan ranting about an anime related to programming...

Something about... Yeah, no, he can't remember something he didn't listen to.

Oooh, his eyes caught sight of some promising words.

."<img> spf=Asmo_Toys Alt= Asmodeus in a Bunny Onesie"

Press.

He's so cute! Look at that cute ribbon!

And those floppy ears!

Belphegor in a cow onesie? Yes please!

Press

Satan in a cat costume? Must be gorgeous!

Press

Safe to say, Asmodeus is entertained by all the unique and different costumes of his brothers- even Lord Diavolo has a cute onesie!

He's really adorable!

Of course, not as adorable as Asmodeus himself.

Presses so many images Mc's device is starting to slow down.

"Why is Obey Me so active in the background?"

Oh, that's Mc darling's voice!

His smile widens when he sees his favorite human.

Sorry not sorry, Solomon~

Ah, wait, why are all the dress-up mannequins disappearing?

Mc's clearing the cache in the app?

Oh, they've opened the app!

Hello, Mc! Why didn't you visit me sooner?

Ah, yes. Of course he knows your name, Mc! You've been living together for 8 months now!

Why did Mc scream? Is he too pretty?

He understands- no matter how long you've lived with someone as pretty as him, you'd still feel overwhelmed by his beauty.

That's not it?

Of course he's alive! It'd be a crime to kill him!

Not that anyone would dare lay a finger on the avatar of lust, anyway~

A... A character in an otome game?

Wait, what about all his memories? His brothers?

They're- they're fake...

Asmo fell to his knees, brain going a mile a minute as tears rained down his cheeks.

No, he won't accept this!

Never!

He's going to have to accept it, or else Mc will have to buy a new phone due to how self-destructive he's being.

And he doesn't want to be truly alone...

Fine!

Asmodeus would be one to help remind Mc of anything they forget, but mainly about their skincare routine.

"Mc, darling! You need to wake up and start cleansing your face! Oh, and that moisturizer is... I'll buy you one that suits your skin better, alright honey?"

How did he get money?

By starting an online business... or onlyfans.

He'd definitely change Obey me's percentages to give a slight higher chance to all his cards.

And maybe the UR's of others, if Mc asks nicely.

When Mc's not using their phone, Asmodeus would either be catering to his online business or watching videos of people at the club and dancing with them.

He'd also go on tumblr and reddit to interact with his fans!

As himself, of course, but usually people think he's a roleplayer...

And boy, when he found out how thirsty some of his fans are...

He's glad so many people falls into his sin.

Though in the end, Asmodeus prefers real life interaction.

I need attention, Mc!

But when Mc's sleeping, and he's left alone with his thoughts... And no one is online to entertain him...

Asmo wishes he could get drunk.

A/N: Idea is credited towards @abrokecupoftea . Thank you for letting me borrow your idea!

I originally wanted to do all 7 brothers, but I've found out there's a limit on how many paragraphs you can do for one post...

If anyone wants to see Sentient!OM! Headcanons for Beelz, Belph, and maybe the Dateables, feel free to request so! Or I might or may not do it myself depending on my level of motivation...

Hope you guys enjoyed these headcanons!

Sentient!Beelzebub, Belphegor, Diavolo and Barbatos

Sentient!OM!Brothers summoning another Sentient!OM!Brothers

Masterlist

#obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me headcanons #obey me fluff #obey me lucifer x reader #obey me mammon x reader #obey me leviathan x reader #obey me satan x reader #obey me asmodeus x reader #is this angst?#maybe?#obey me #sentient!OM #an anon told me this isn't fluff so...#obey me angst #Meowz writes

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yanderes-galore · 2 years

Note

I’m the psychologist anon

with a request if this one’s fine

if I had to choose, I’d chose Fliqpy.

Fliqpy with psychologist darling?

The darling doesn’t have to be classified professional. It can be a normal person that studies some on her own.

And when Fliqpy comes. She may be scared, yet she takes interest in the triggers and how he acts.

- Psych anon.

As they are both the same bear, you kinda gotta have them both. But I'll make it so when he's in Fliqpy mode he's more ""docile"" to you. I am in a HTF mood :) You're both either animal or human, human Flippy is similar to my bear hybrids.

PoV: Your blog is primarily psychotic bears

Yandere! Flippy/Fliqpy with Psychologist! Darling

Concept

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Yandere behavior, Clingy behavior, Implied PTSD, Second personality (Flippy---), Implied murder, Dub-con affection, Obsession, Possessive behavior, Overprotective behavior, Delusional behavior, Drugs/medication, Restraints, Blood mention,

- Perhaps you are assigned as Flippy's psychologist after you caught wind that he had been rather...

- Hostile, to put it simply.

- The first time you met him you were sitting on your chair, the bear/bear hybrid wandering in rather nervous.

- You get it because everyone can be nervous about this kind of thing.

- Yet it turns out that was not the only reason he was nervous

- The visit goes well enough.

- Flippy is hesitant to go into details but from what you know of he's triggered by loud noises due to being in the war.

- After that all he remembers afterwards is being covered in blood.

- "Your blood...?"

- There's just an eerie silence between you.

- "...Oh...."

- "I... uh... I just want to stop hurting people like that-"

- "I get it, yes, that would be for the best. Let's talk and I'll give you something to help with that."

- Before you see Fliqpy is when you've had a few visits.

- Flippy is now very comfortable with you, even starting to form a small crush on you.

- You find it innocent but never encourage it as it's unprofessional.

- You're just here to help with his mental health, not date him.

- Even if Flippy seems to think otherwise.

- Maybe you treat Flippy in a sound proof office after hearing he gets flipped at loud noises.

- As another stage of treatment you may purposefully try to provoke Fliqpy.

- Much to Flippy's dismay.

- "I don't want you hurt-! I just want peace for you and me, please don't-"

- You then promise you'll take precautions.

- Such as restraints, mouth guards, etc...

- According to what Flippy's telling you, Fliqpy is a big deal, so you're prepared.

- Although maybe not prepared enough...

- Once you pop that balloon, Flippy panics before being sent into Fliqpy mode.

- For now all is silent except his snarling through the mouth guard.

- Then you start trying to appease the violent bear.

- Small questions, trying to reassure him he's not in a state of war all the time.

- You notice improvements such as a smaller amount of growling and more relaxed eyes.

- Except they are still green.

- What scares you even more is when Fliqpy snaps the restraints, lunging for you.

- You aren't sure what to do but you're surprised when you aren't mauled-

- Instead you're in a crushing, possessive feeling, embrace.

- You can't move.

- Green eyes are boring into your skin, the mouth guard still on.

- If it wasn't there he may have tried to bite you hard.

- Softly you find yourself patting your patient's back.

- He seems to relax but doesn't let you go.

- It appears that Flippy's fixation and your calming techniques have made Fliqpy less hostile towards you.

- Enough to help with treatment, at least.

- While Flippy is rather innocent and protective with his crush on you, Fliqpy is much more intense.

- The mouth guard must always be on as he'll try to bite you.

- He prefers holding you during treatment instead of sitting in his chair.

- He's also rude, controlling, and intense.

- Although he assures you he sees you as a comrade and not an enemy.

- Which you aren't sure if that helps with much.

- The key part when working with the two is to get them used to other people.

- Yet Fliqpy is not complying.

- "You're so naive, you don't get it. They'd hurt us if we gave them the chance! You should just rely on me."

- You end up having to suggest a medication to Flippy, but it turns out Fliqpy is just getting rid of it later.

- At some point Flippy is just not wanting to leave your office anymore.

- He just wants to see you, especially if you can keep Fliqpy occupied and away from others.

- You tell him you can't just do that.

- Which ends up with the bear/bear hybrid clinging to you and shaking.

- Flippy/Fliqpy will be a handful for a Psychologist! Darling.

- Especially if he starts getting the idea of following you home to keep you beside him.

- Perhaps this crush isn't as 'innocent' as you thought.

#yandere happy tree friends #yandere fliqpy #yandere flippy

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starlightxsvt · 3 years

Text

3 dates | epilogue

pairing ➳ badboy!Seungcheol x female!reader

genre ➳ badboy au, romance, some fluff, angst, bad attempt at humour, gets spicy at the end.

word count ➳ 3.5k (total 15.6k)

warnings ➳ cursing, mentions of killing, mentions criminal activities, slight violence(non explicit), smoking, ma man Seungcheol ain't your typical badboy, blackmailing, reader does all sorts of risky things cuz she's a SIMP, blood(nothing explicit), kissing, marking, some breast worshipping, grinding, reader is horny lol. (Please lemme know if I forgot anything.)

a/n : here's the epilogue to 3 dates since tumb1r won't let me post the whole fic in one post :) Enjoy!

Part 1

As time progresses and days turn into weeks and then into months you are not left with the luxury to cry over Seungcheol. Instead you are bombarded with assignments and projects from your uni and you drown yourself completely in work to forget the scathing pain. Katelyn figured out something is wrong with you and even though talking about that man pains you too much, you told her that you are done with him and you won't be seeing him again in this lifetime. Katelyn did not ask any questions after that as you said you needed time to heal, time to forget even though you have serious doubts he'd ever leave your mind.

You have also applied for an internship to keep you even busier so that when you return home you are too tired to let the thoughts of him plague your mind as you drift off to sleep. And just like that, you have developed a routine, work, eat and sleep, trying your best to allow yourself to not think about him.

Despite that sometimes, some very few times, you think of him, wonder how he's doing, wonder if he's safe. You ponder if he thinks of you, if he regrets his decision but you don't have any answer. You simply hope he does.

After another day full of assignments and projects you almost doze off to sleep as soon as you hit your bed until you are intruded by the loud ringing of your phone. Annoyed, you reach for it, wondering who would be calling so late.

The caller ID has your heart doing a backflip, the name you were unable to delete from your heart and your phone flashing on the screen as you instantly sit up in your bed. It's Seungcheol.

Why is he calling so late?

You wait a few seconds, scared to pick up, scared that he might have called accidentally. But before you lose your chance, you inhale deeply and pick the call up. "Hello?" You speak, your voice tentative.The silence from the other end makes your heart fall and your suspicion come true. He called you accidentally and now he will realize it and hang up. You're about to speak again when his voice floats through.

"Hi."

The emotions you feel are overwhelming, undescribable. You're relieved, you're sad, you're excited, you want to cry and scream at the same time. That one word from him has you feeling tingles all over and makes you feel like you just did a hundred laps. Anyhow you manage to speak. "Hey." Your voice almost cracks and tears almost slip past your cheeks. You don't know why you are so emotional. "I just...I just wanted to hear your voice." He sounds so tired...so dejected and your heart breaks. Never in your life did you imagine him to call and say those words to you but instead of feeling happy, a current of melancholy hits you.

Why does he sound so broken?

"Seungcheol? Is...is everything alright?" Your voice is feather like, soft and careful. You hear him sigh loudly and you get your answer. Instead of replying to you, he asks, "How have you been?"

"I'm...fine," you lie. You have been nowhere near fine. He hums noncommittally and you're about to ask him the same question before you realize how dumb it would be. If his voice is any indication he is anything but fine. "____?" He calls your name softly. "Y-yes?" You whisper.

He stays silent, for so long that you think he hung up. "I- I just...can I see you?" He seems to have a hard time gathering his words.

What? You lurch out of bed pushing your covers aside in excitement, trying to prevent a gasp out of your lips. Did you even hear correctly? He wants to see you?

"Wha... what do you mean?" You mumble. You hear him sigh loudly, "I...I am in front of your apartment. Just come down for a minute." You don't need to hear any more words as you are dashing towards your front door in your pajamas, not disconnecting the call. You take the elevator and come out of the building as fast as possible, bumping into things in your way but not giving a care. You feet stops as you stand in front of the entrance to your building, eyes searching wildly for Seungcheol. "Stay there," his voice comes through the phone, just as you spot him standing on the opposite to your building, decently far but not far enough that you can't see.

A horrified gasp leaves your mouth as your eyes finally land on him.

He stands there, bruised, his beautiful face marred with scratches and wounds, his clothes having patches of dirt and if you are seeing correctly his left arm is bleeding as he holds the phone next to his ear with the other.

"Seungcheol-" you're about to rush towards him. "Don't move." He cuts you off, looking you in the eye. Even from afar you don't miss the dark, commanding gaze of him. "Just...just stay there. Just...let me look at you."

No- why is he doing this?

Tears slip down your cheeks, "Seungcheol-" You are interrupted once more, "Please. I- I missed you and...I needed to see you. Just let me hear your voice and look at you like this." His voice almost cracks and you can see the emotion in his eyes.

Your heart breaks.

Why does he keep doing this? Why does he keep pushing you away? Why does he torment himself like this?

You stand there, rooted to the ground, quiet sobs leaving your mouth. He comes here all bruised and wounded and expects you to stay away? How can you when you can clearly see him in pain?

You grip the phone tighter, watching him as he stands there, not moving an inch. His eyes never leaves you as he drinks you in, like this is the last time he's gonna look at you. You can't stand it anymore. Hanging up the phone you run towards him, as fast as your nimble legs can carry you. You can't stay away, you just can't. Not when he looks so hurt and lost and lonely.

Your body smashes against his as you wrap your arms tightly around his torso, your head buried in his chest. He stumbles back from the force and for a while he stays unmoved and you hold your breath, half expecting him to shove you away. But he doesn't. Instead he pulls you firmly against him resting your head on his chest while burying his face in your hair.

The tears come naturally. Loud, ungraceful sobs emerge from you as you cling to him like your life depends on it, your grip on him unyielding. Seungcheol softly pets your hair as your cries fill the silence of the cold night. You pull back just a little to look at his face and you want to once more. There's a cut above his brow and some bruises on his cheek and nose and another cut on his lower lip. But you can't bring yourself to care as you lean above to press your lips against his. You don't dare hold back, kissing him like the world is about to end. Seungcheol reciprocates, tilting your head for better access as his tongue prods into your mouth and you taste the metallic flavour of blood. The kiss is messy, all teeth and tongue, an outpour of the bottled up feelings of the last couple months.

You both take a lungful of air when you pull back and you're about to dive in for more when you realize his arm is injured. "Wha- how did this happen?" You hiccup, wiping away your tears as you gently reach for his bleeding arm. His clothes are torn at the part of the wound and from what you can see, it looks like a knife injury, a thin, slanted cut on his upper arm as if someone slashed him. "It's nothing," he says trying to push your hand away.

"It's not nothing, Seungcheol!" You're yelling before you know it. It's the exasperation, the accumulated frustration over the days that makes you snap.

Seungcheol seems to be shocked at your outburst as he blinks at you, an astonished look on his face. He's kind enough to reply honestly this time. "Got into a fight. I was outnumbered. It's okay, it's nothing serious, I've had worse," his voice is small, almost timid which is definitely unlike him.

Of course he has had worse.

You let out a tired breath. "Come on, you're bleeding. Let me help you." You wrap a hand around his uninjured arm, tugging him towards your apartment.

"No, you don't have to-" he protests but you pin him down with a look. "Please," you speak, your voice low. "I can't let you go like this. Just let me clean your wound." Seungcheol presses his lips into a thin line as if trying to prevent himself from speaking further. When no more words leave his mouth, you drag him into your building in silence.

Entering your unit you help Seungcheol sit down in your small living space as you quickly pad towards the bathroom for the first aid kit. When you return you find him looking around your place with a curious glow in his eyes similar to a child's. As your eyes meet, he sits up straighter and tries to remove his jacket. You aid him in the process, discarding the material on the floor as you take a seat next to him, the first aid kit in your lap.

Thankfully he's wearing a tank top as it gives you easy access to his biceps. You would have stopped to admire and ogle them if he wasn't hurt, which he is and you mentally smack yourself for having such thoughts right now. Seungcheol's eyes does not leave your face as he silently gazes at you and if you didn't know any better you would say he looked at you fondly.

Swallowing, you sanitize your hands before proceeding to clean his wound. Seungcheol tenses beside you, low, pained grunts leaving his lips a few times as you disinfect the cut. But he says nothing, letting you do the work and you don't speak either focused on the task at hand. You then do the same for his face and finish your work by wrapping a bandage around his bicep and sitting back, exhaling a satisfied sigh. Unintentionally your eyes connect to his and you find his scorching gaze on you, those mesmerising eyes almost piercing through your soul. Feeling self aware, you abruptly stand up, coughing to clear your throat. "You should take a shower. I have some extra clothes for my parents when they come over. My dad's clothes should fit you."

"No, it's alright. I should leave." He murmurs. "You're already here. Might as well take a shower. There's no rush," you say sternly, trying to make him agree.

Truth is you want him to stay, at least the night.

Seungcheol sits quietly for a while as if contemplating before surrendering with a sigh. "Okay." "Good. The bathroom's this way," you point towards the attached bath in your room and Seungcheol mutely follows. You offer him a towel and you dad's pajamas, hoping they'd do the job for tonight as he closes the door behind him.

As silence fill the apartment, you quietly return to your bed and sit, anxiously chewing on your lower lip. The digital clock beside your bed reads 2:50 am but your sleep is long gone.

Choi Seungcheol is here. In your house.

Will he spend the night? Or will he be his stubborn self and leave as soon as he is out? And if he does stay, will you see him in morning? Or will he be gone before the sun is up? The thoughts running rampant in your mind gives you a headache as you groan, rubbing your temples. You are sure Seungcheol feels something for you, he has to. Otherwise why would he come to you in the middle of the night? If only he told you his feelings, spilled his heart out to you rather than hiding and pushing you away. He just needs to bare himself to you, tell you what is in his heart. Why can't he do that? Why can't he just give the two of you a chance?

Your thoughts are interrupted as Seungcheol steps out the bathroom, half naked, the pajama pants hanging low on his hips as his muscled body is displayed in all its glory, making your throat dry. He looks at you before quickly looking away as an air awkwardness and tension fills the room. You hold your breath, watching him intently, not moving a single muscle as he tentatively takes a seat at the corner of your bed while wiping his wet hair with the towel hanging around his neck.

You want to tell him to stay the night, the words right on the tip of your tongue but you're terrified that it will just make him walk out here immediately. So instead you watch him with bated breath, waiting for his next move, waiting for him to say something, anything that will put an end to this deafening silence.

Seungcheol takes mercy on you.

"Thank you," he says, voice barely audible. You don't know what he's thanking you for you reply anyway. "Welcome. Though I don't know what you are thanking me for." Seungcheol remains silent for a few beats, his eyes focused on the floor before replying. "For everything. I have a lot to thank you for."

Okay.

You nod mutely, unable to figure out a reply. Another wave of silence settles in the atmosphere like a blanket. You take this time to appreciate his beautiful profile, engraving his features in your mind. The moonlight coming from your window falls on his face partially, illuminating his sculpted lineaments. You get to admire his beauty once more as he sits there but the look on his face tugs at your heartstrings. He looks troubled and in pain, the natural glow of his face somewhat dim. You wonder how the past couple of months have treated him. You wonder how life has been treating him, if he had someone to go to, someone to share his worries with all this time.

"Do you still like me?" His words make your eyes widen as it the last thing you expected to come from him. "You wouldn't be here if I didn't," your words come out harsher than you intended making you regret instantly. Perhaps the pain you have suffered for a while is coming out finally. However, seeing his silence, you reply once more, voice much softer this time, "Of course I still like you, Seungcheol. I have...I have never liked anyone or anything as much as you."

It's an understatement. What you feel for him is love but you would rather keep that to yourself.

"Why?" Seungcheol's voice comes out as a croak as his eyes connect to yours. For the first time, you see so much emotion in them and maybe, maybe even some unshed tears, though you can't be sure because the light is not sufficient right now. Your throat closes up for some reason as your eyes mirror the emotions in his and you desperately try to think, try to give him a reply that he deserves.

"You are very easy to like," you say lamely. Your reply is insufficient but that's all you can manage without starting to bawl like a child. A humourless laugh comes out of Seungcheol and echoes through the otherwise quiet room. "I doubt that," he says, his voice deep. "It's true Seungcheol," you repeat, voice firm.

A mirthless grin settles on his face and you know he isn't buying your words. Swallowing, you carefully, too carefully, scoot towards him and sit down, maintaining a little space between the the two of you. "I don't understand why you hold such negative thoughts about yourself but believe me Seungcheol, it's hard not to fall in love with you."

Your slip-up causes your eyes to widen, face drowning in embarrassment as you realize you just said the L word. Seungcheol, however, does not react to it but turns his head to study your face and the pain and sentiment in his eyes, his passionate gaze on you makes you forget human language. You've never seen nor imagined Seungcheol to be so full of ardor and pain and now that you have, you don't know what to do. You just want to cling to him and cry like a child.

"Can't you see how fucked up I am? What and awful person I am, ____? Someone like me deserves noth-" Unable to hold yourself back you interrupt him by cupping both of his cheeks and pressing your lips to his. You kiss him softly, carefully, trying to gauge his feelings while trying not to push him too hard. Seungcheol stays immobilised, letting you kiss him like that. When you pull back, his eyes are closed and he rests his forehead against yours. "You are just fine, Seungcheol. I like you just the way you are. Don't...beat yourself up like this, hmm?" Your voice is just above a whisper as you tilt his head to meet his eyes. Seungcheol stares quietly at you for a while before suddenly pushing you back and caging you underneath his large body. A squeak of surprise leaves your lips as Seungcheol wastes no time wrapping himself around you while attaching his lips to yours.

This time the kiss is not soft, it is full of passion and vigour and longing as Seungcheol takes the reign. Your lips mold perfectly against each other and Seungcheol does not hold back, kissing you like a starved man; all teeth and tongue. He pulls back for a while, supporting himself on his elbows as you looks at you while you try to catch your breath underneath him. His hand comes to stroke your hair gently, like a lover and your eyes burn at his tenderness.

"Seungcheol-"

"Is there still a place for me in your heart?" He asks, a hopeful note in his voice. His words leave you breathless as you gape at him in suprise, you mouth open slightly. Seungcheol looks at you look longingly as he waits for your answer, which comes easily, without a second thought.

"Of course, Seungcheol. I...I love you."

This time it is his turn to be surprised as his pupils dilate and a soft gasp of surprise escapes from him. Swallowing, you hold his gaze, waiting for his next words but they never come. Instead, the man attacks your lips with renewed fervour while slotting a muscular thigh between your legs. As his toned thigh brushes against your core a wanton moan leaves your mouth and you wrap your legs around his waist. You can feel Seungcheol smirk against your skin while he kisses a path down from jaw towards your neck, taking his sweet time to plant some love bites along the way while you gasp and writhe underneath him. Soon he reaches the valley of your breasts and with skilled fingers he does a quick work of the buttons of your night shirt. His heated gaze remains on your now bare breasts and you can feel your nipples harden in the chill air of the room before he leans down to plant soft kisses all over them. While he does so you continue to grind your core against his leg, desperate for some friction which he is denying you. His assault on your neck and breasts don't stop as he remains focused in marking you, blooming kisses of red and purple on your skin.

"I missed you," His voice comes out as throaty whisper while he keeps his lips attached to your heated skin. "Me too," you choke between moans as his ministrations on your body leaves you aching all over for him.

He pulls back to meet your gaze, "I want you. I... always have and I've been hiding it. But I can't anymore."

"Take me then, Seungcheol," It isn't the most romantic thing to say but that is all your lust clouded brain can manage as you keep grinding yourself against him. You feel his hard on poke your belly and unlike your lover, you really can't wait anymore. You need him now.

Seungcheol keeps looking at you, too busy studying your features rather than doing something about the wetness between your legs and you're about to tell him to do something when he speaks, "I love you, ____. I'm sorry for the hurt I've caused you. Let me make it up to you."

Great. Now you're horny and emotional.

His confession brings tears to your eyes but your neediness is growing so you pull his face down closer to yours and whisper, "You can start doing that by making me cum. And then you can stay. With me. Forever. How about that?" A mischievous grin kisses his face, "I'd love that sweetheart."

You grin in happiness not wasting anymore time as you reconnect your lips with his.

a/n 2: Whew~ a whopping 15k+! I can't believe I wrote something this huge. But it was well worth it! I just hate this damn app like I don't understand?? I've seen ppl post fics with 40k+ words yet tumb1r says I've reached 250 blocks like what?? Anyhow, I really really hope you enjoyed reading this baby cuz I've been working on it for soooo long! If you did please reblog and share as always your feedbacks are highly appreciated so please leave them in the comments or my ask box!

#seventeen #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #seventeen scoups #scoups smut #scoups imagines #seungcheol imagines #seventeen fic #seventeen fanfic #seventeen fluff #seventeen smut #svt imagines #svt fluff #svt scenarios #seventeen au #svt seungcheol #choi seungcheol #kpop imagines

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allthingskakashi · 4 years

Text

• Bells and Balls •

[ Kakashi x Reader ]

Tags : NSFW, Smut

Words : 4.8k

A/n: I wrote over 4k words just to get some dick.

Okay sbsbajash idk I'd been working on this for like a whole week and i couldn't concentrate on anything unless i finished this lmao so here it is whatever, I can't drag this around anymore. Uhhh hope you like it I'm still not very good at writing smut im sorry. This takes place in the post Anbu and pre team 7 era and Kakashi’s a bit of an asshole but you know you still love him. This is also a little similar to my other fic ‘Yearning’ but here you get the s e x and i’m sorry if the characterization is bad, i put more focus on making it hot i guess ok ill shut up now i hope you like it

You give the sheet of paper in your hand one final glance, and look around the room. There’s a long line behind you and you’re surrounded by your fellow jounins, each here to submit their respective lists.

You were extremely happy with the performance of your team and didn’t have to think twice before passing them. You had no doubt that they would make wonderful shinobi. You looked forward to teaching and guiding them, and judging by the chatter around you, most other jounins had passed their teams too.

The trouble, however, remains with Kakashi Hatake.

A few weeks ago, you had all been named squad leaders and put in charge of a squad, and today was your very first day with your assigned teams. As instructed, each of you conducted a test for the genin and depending upon whether they passed or failed, the final list would be announced.

No one till date had ever passed Kakashi Hatake's infamous test, and everyone was sure that no one would this year either. Most genin trembled in fear of him, being aware of his strict methods.

And as it happens, at this moment, this infamous man is right in front you, standing with his back hunched forward as he hands his paper in to the woman behind the desk.

You wait for your turn, your eyes fixating on the red symbol on his vest as you wonder, ruefully, about the fate of the students he must have failed this time.

You take a step forward as he turns around, having submitted his paper, and the line moves up behind you.

Kakashi peeks briefly at your paper as he passes, letting out an audible scoff at the list in your hand before walking on ahead, hands tucked in his pockets.

You’re momentarily confused by this sudden act, but something is already starting to boil up inside you. You aren’t exactly known for being placid, nor for sitting by and allowing people to give you crap. Your eyebrows furrow as you hastily thrust your sheet onto the desk, before making your way to follow after him.

“Do you have a problem?” you call to his back as a few heads turn towards you.

He stops, taking his time turning back to look at you, half lidded eyes looking as indifferent as always.

His demeanour pushes you further to the edge and you take a few steps closer, craning your neck to meet his eyes, waiting for an answer.

“Well?”

He peers down at you unfazed, completely oblivious to the audience around you, as if they are not even there.

“You’re too soft”, he shrugs. “You don’t know how the shinobi world works” he says bluntly, piercing you with his unwavering gaze.

You glare back at him, your mouth twitching with the sled of retorts forming at the back of your tongue.

“Who gave you the right to—"

But he’s already turning away from you, your eyes meeting with the red symbol of his vest once again.

“Hey don’t you fucking walk away from me!” you yell, going forward to stop him, but he saunters on ahead without turning back; his scent lingering in the air as you stand there, watching his figure disappear slowly along the hallway, your fury seething inside you.

Who the fuck does he think he is?

--------------------------------------------------

“Thank you! This is just what I needed.” you chime, digging into the hot bowl of ramen in front of you, your mouth salivating just at the look of it.

You take a big mouthful, revelling in the immediate burst of flavours on your tongue.

“Mmmm.” You moan, “You’ve outdone yourself, Ayame!”

The young girl smiles at you in delight, proceeding to serve you another helping.

You take another blissful bite, closing your eyes to relish the moment.

The streets are quiet around you except for the faint chirp of crickets, as is expected at this hour of the night. It must be past midnight by now, you’re not exactly sure.

You had been tossing and turning in bed, unable to sleep. For some reason, the encounter with Kakashi from earlier today had you feeling bitter and edgy. You hated that he was in your head, you didn’t understand why. It wasn’t like you to be this bothered by some mindless comments from someone. You’d had altercations before, worse ones, but they were never enough to steal away your night’s sleep.

And yet, this time…

You had to do something to take the edge off, ideally punch him in the face, but since that was not the plausible choice, you settled for the next best thing. Going for a run and treating yourself to your favourite comfort food later.

So here you are now, out at night all by yourself. The Ichiraku shop was still open, bless the lords.

You slurp some of the soup from the bowl and let out a loud smack of your lips.

You can feel your spirits lifting, and you’re glad for it. He wasn’t in your head after all, you were just having a bad day, that’s all.

You shift your focus back to the bowl in front of you, moaning and slurping as you go.

“Whoa there, Get a room.”

The sudden interruption of the familiar voice makes you stop cold.

Are you fucking kidding me?

You look up from your bowl, turning your head around to see none other than Kakashi Hatake, standing smug in all his glory.

The strange pang of bitterness is back in the depths of your stomach and you resist the urge to punch that smug look off his face.

“Ah, if it isn’t Kakashi Hatake, the all-knowing wisenheimer.” you say, your tone snide. “Say, don’t you have somewhere else to be? Some genin to fail?”

He comes around to take a seat on the stool beside you, a smirk evident through his mask, almost as if he’s enjoying this.

“I’ve already failed them” he smiles sweetly at you. “Worked up quite an appetite too.” He says, looking away from you to place his order.

You notice as Ayame notes his order down, the distinct shade of pink that tinges her cheeks as does, before turning away and disappearing into the supplies room at the back of the shop.

Ugh. What is with this guy? Why is it so….

You don’t realise you’re staring at him until he looks back at you, raising a questioning eyebrow. You supress your startlement at being caught, pretending as if you’d meant to be glaring at him.

“What the hell are you even doing out here so late?” you spurt, trying to sound irritated but it comes out sounding almost…concerned?

Thankfully, he doesn’t notice. “I could ask you the same.”

You look away, unwilling to answer. You were out here to get him out of your head, and now here you are, sitting beside him in a ramen shop while the entire village sleeps.

It almost feels like you’re the only two people in the world. The feeling makes something churn inside your stomach.

You dab your mouth with your napkin, before swivelling on the stool to face him. You look at him intently, studying his features. He stares back at you, as if waiting for you to say something.

“Why?” you ask, catching him off guard with it.

“Why what?”

“Why does no one pass your test? What’s so difficult about it?” you ask, gaze fixated on him. You expect him to look uncomfortable but he just shrugs.

“Why do you want to know?”

“I’m curious” you reply truthfully, watching him smirk at your answer.

You hate it when he smirks, how his face looks when he’s being cocky.

Ugh.

He swivels in his chair now, turning his body towards you. “Is that so?”, he says through the smirk, resting his elbow on the counter and leaning in.

You don’t know why, but something about his tone and the way he leans in makes it difficult for you to breathe all of a sudden.

But you’re not one to be fazed.

“Yes” you reply, refusing to let yourself crumple under his gaze. Your voice comes out sounding hoarse, and you clear your throat.

He smirks wider at your reply and stretches the next words out.

“If you’re so curious…Why don’t you find out for yourself?”

Your heart thuds like clapper clanging against a bell. You resist the urge to gulp.

Was it this hot when I left the house?

You clear your throat again. “I don’t have the time to take part in your stupid games”

The smirk is adamant on his lips, his gaze unnerving.

He breathes, “Do you not have the time…or do you not have the balls?”

His tone is challenging. Or inviting. Or both, you’re not really sure, you’re not thinking straight anymore.

Your jacket is too hot against your skin, you writhe beneath the thick material.

Sliding off the stool, you walk slowly towards him, erasing the space in between you bit by bit with each step, until your bodies are a few inches away from touching. Your eyes bore into each other’s as if in silent battle. It’s your turn to smirk now.

“Training Grounds in 20 mins” you whisper. Despite the hitch in your breath, your voice is clear. “Don’t be late.”

You walk past him without breaking your gaze, brushing your shoulder against his arm as you walk by, perhaps a little harder than necessary, leaving Kakashi to stare after you.

--------------------------------------------------

You sit on the damp grass with your back against a tree, waiting. Your jacket lies in a puddle beside you.

You count the weapons in your bag, you hadn’t exactly come out prepared for a fight tonight. Two kunai knives, that’s all.

Would that be enough to take down the copy ninja? You hope so. There’s no way you’re letting him win. It’s time someone taught him a lesson and you would love to be that someone. The nerve of him…to actually challenge you.

He really needs to get a life. But then, here you are too…

Why am I here? What am I even doing?

You close your eyes and tilt your head back against the hard bark, your eyebrows furrowing the way they always do when you’re deep in thought.

Back at the shop… the way he spoke…the look in his eyes— God, Stop. Stop it.

Who the fuck cares about the look in his eyes?

Not me.

It’s okay. I’m good.

We’re here to teach this asshole a lesson. An asshole, that’s what he is. Insufferable and stupid and smug and ridiculously ho— horrible. Ridiculously horrible.

You take a deep breath, opening your eyes and standing up so fast that it makes your head dizzy for a brief second. You start walking around, jerking your arms and legs, stretching your neck, even slapping yourself a few times on the face to make yourself focus.

Yes, I need to focus. The lack of sleep is getting to me.

You crouch down to tighten your shoelaces, before getting up and starting some stretching exercises. Gotta loosen the muscles, make sure you have full flexibility. After all, taking on Kakashi Hatake all by yourself is probably not going to be a piece of cake.

You look down to check your attire: running shorts and a tank top, not fully ideal but it’ll do.

You’re bent over, in the midst of doing rotating toe touches when your eyes fall upon a silhouette far ahead, nearing closer and closer. You pause, standing up straight with your hands on your hips as the figure walks slowly towards you, a faint jingling noise ringing through the air, as Kakashi finally comes near enough for you to make out his face in the dim light.

“Late as always” you say, crossing your arms over your chest.

Kakashi stands a few feet away from you, holding something in one hand, other hand inside his pocket. He’s not wearing his jacket anymore either, you observe.

“Sorry, had to go get this” he says, holding up what looks like two small bells with strings attached.

You squint at it, coming closer to get a better look. “What the hell is that?”

“Bells”, he smiles. “That’s the test. You have to get these bells from me. You can use any attack you want but… since you’re not a genin, I’ll raise the stakes a little higher for you. You cannot use ninjutsu or genjustu. It has to be purely physical attacks. You have till dawn.”

This little fucker. He knows taijutsu is not my strong point.

But fine. If that’s how he wants to play this, so be it. I’m taking him down one way or another.

“Dawn?” you chuckle, fixing him with your gaze. “I don’t need till dawn” you sneer, coming forward with a kick aimed to his head. He blocks it just as you’re about to make contact, grasping your ankle in his strong hold.

“I didn’t say start yet” he says through a smirk, letting go of your foot.

You take a few steps backwards, glowering at him as he ties the bells to a loop on his trousers. They hang over his thighs with a jingle, silver metal glimmering in the moonlight.

He looks back up at you, eyes twinkling with an unusual sparkle.

There’s that look again…

“Go” he commands, his body tensing up into a defensive stance immediately, ready for you.

You fix your gaze on the shiny metal of your goal and hurl yourself forward, your arms meeting each other’s in blows and defences. You throw a few kicks to his stomach, making him tumble but not enough to knock him out.

You shift your stance, before directing another punch to his face; he deflects it, sniggering.

Okay okay okay, I’m not focusing. I need to focus.

You take a deep breath.

Kakashi stands waiting, his features emanating pure amusement.

You feel a restlessness brewing within you, a strange energy buzzing through your veins. You’d been itching to punch him in the face and now’s your chance.

You watch him, mentally calculating all your options. His silver hair shines like moonbeams in the dark.

FOCUS.

Drawing a kunai from your bag, you lunge forward, distracting him with a kick to the head as your kunai slashes through the air, just about to cut across the strings when— your hand is caught in his grasp, a ‘slap!’ cutting through the air as his palm clasps around your wrist.

He bores into you, your wrist held firmly in his hand as he turns you around swiftly, gripping both your wrists at the back.

You feel the muscles of his chest against your body as he comes closer, the metal bells hanging over his leg brushing against your fingertips behind you.

You wriggle your hands, trying to break free but it’s in vain. His grip is firm, slender fingers digging into your skin as he leans into your ears, his warm breath tickling your skin.

“Not so fast” he whispers, his lips almost brushing the top of your ears.

The words send a shudder through your spine. You feel the black sky closing in on you, there’s a hum springing through your veins.

He loosens his grip as your hands fall, the kunai held limply in your hand. You turn around, your heart skipping a beat at how close he is to you. You feel your resolve weakening.

No.

Stop.

Your hand flies to the collar of his shirt, the other hand holding the kunai to his throat as you push him backwards with your body, your eyes blazing into his.

Keeping the kunai at his throat, you lower your other hand slowly, brushing it down his chest, his muscles taut under your hand. You trail your hand down along the line of his sternum, down the firmness of his stomach and further down, your fingers lightly caressing the bulge of his trousers before they almost make contact with the bells alongside, right there, just a flick away—

so close—

Before your wrist is caught in a sudden, fast clutch again.

His grip is much stronger this time, unyielding, hungry. Your bones ache beneath his hold.

You watch something ignite in his eyes as his shoulders rise and fall in rhythm to your heaves. You suddenly realise how out of breath you are.

In the flash of a moment, Kakashi grips your kunai holding hand, holding it away from his throat as he pushes you, the weight of his body pressing onto yours as your feet scrape along the ground, stumbling backwards till your back slams against a tree, the force making your body jolt. The kunai slips from your hand.

His arms pin you defenceless against the tree, his gaze holding you hostage, burning through your skin.

The touch of his skin against yours feels alien. When was the last time you felt the warmth of someone’s skin? You cannot recall.

He’s so close to you, you cannot see anything beyond him.

In the dark, under the moonlight, the edges of his face look softened.

A wind passes by, the sound of rustling leaves filling through the silence. A volcano erupts within you.

Now.

You gulp. Up this close, you can make out the outline of his mouth.

Now.

Your lips press into Kakashi’s in a desperate lurch, your neck straining to meet him as far as his grip on you allows. Your heart explodes like firecrackers inside your chest as your tongue pushes against the cloth of his mask, demanding to be let in.

You feel his grip loosen around your wrists as the mask is off and he reciprocates, his lips on yours, his hand gripping your chin up as his tongue moves in fervent swirls inside your mouth.

A thousand questions swarm inside your head, buzzing but you’re not being controlled by your head anymore. You can feel the thud of his chest against your own.

He trails his hand down to your throat, holding you in place, other hand exploring every edge and curve of your body before it snakes down the waistband of your shorts, down the elastic of your underwear.

You gasp, arching your back as you feel the touch of his long fingers down there, moaning helplessly into his mouth as he rubs along your wet entrance in rapid strokes.

Your head is a dizzy mess of jumbled emotions as yearning overpowers your senses, your previous resolve weakening into a mushy puddle with every stroke and thrum of his fingers inside you.

He pulls away from your mouth to leave sloppy kisses down your neck, his tongue painting patterns along your skin as you catch a glimpse of his face and you see it— his face, glowing under the moonlight. And you realise.

He’s…beautiful.

An overwhelming ache breaks through your senses, creating a frenzied whirlwind of passion and agony in your mind. Your detestation for him crumbles into pieces underneath the weight of your desire, as you realise…

You don’t hate him.

You never did.

Not even close.

Not even a little bit.

Not even at all.

You pull his face up to meet your lips again, planting urgent kisses on his mouth as your hands tease the hem of his shirt. His fingers slip out of you and you can feel the wetness of your panties, soaked through with arousal.

“Kakashi…” you whisper in pleasure as he looms over you, your foreheads touching, out of breath and heaving with exhilaration. His eyes burn with the same passion that you feel inside.

“We can’t…shouldn’t…here…people...” you mutter in struggled breaths, as he plants another kiss to your lips, the sparks from it fogging your mind

“Since when do you care about people?” he whispers against your ear, his raspy voice enough to strip you off of all your remaining sense and judgement.

You pull his shirt over his head in one swift motion, throwing it to the ground beside as he follows, taking off your shirt and then unhooking your bra, tossing both away as his hands reach for you in hungry clutches.

His hands caress your breasts, pressing them and pulling on your hardened nipples, his mouth following soon after. His lips lock around them, sucking hard as you bury your face into his broad shoulders, biting lightly to keep yourself from screaming.

You sink your fingers into his hair, tugging softly as his mouth moves in a wet trail further down your body, strands of his hair tickling your stomach as he goes, his hands tugging your panties, sliding them down the curves of your hips.

Your heart thuds in your ears as Kakashi sits crouching in front of you, parting your legs. He looks up at you, as if asking for your permission, and you give it to him by pulling the back of his head closer between your legs.

He puts your right leg over his shoulder, spreading you for him, his other hand clutching the back of your left thigh as his mouth teases you down there.

The tip of his tongue flicks at your entrance, before it finds your weakest spot, and you feel your body shuddering, barely able to keep your balance.

You tug at his hair harder as his tongue moves skilfully inside you, fingers rubbing your swollen clit simultaneously. You feel every nerve ending in your body come alive as you moan out his name “K-Kakashi…” through trembling lips.

Your insides shudder and a deep moan forms at the back of your throat, threatening to escape as Kakashi puts his hand over your mouth, before pulling you down on top of him with a sudden tug.

You come down with a thud on his thighs, your body jolting with the force as you watch him in front of you, the copy ninja… bare bodied and heaving in front of your eyes.

Who would have thought…

You straddle him, admiring his unclad torso, before pushing his shoulders down with your hands, making him lie back on the grass as you stoop over him. His eyes are fixated on you, pure pleasure making itself known on his face.

He really is beautiful.

You bend forward, your mouth exploring the smoothness of the skin on his chest, as a strange cold feeling down there distracts you.

You look down, squinting in the dark to find yourself sitting on two glimmering metal balls placed over his thigh.

The bells.

A thrill runs through your nerves as you smirk, glancing up at him.

He’s noticed it too.

His eyes return the same sparkle of mischief as yours as he lies still, waiting.

You press your hands down on his chest, locking your gaze with his as you position yourself over the bells, tilting your head back as you move back and forth over them.

The cold metal of the bells rubs against you, sending tremors through your entire body.

Your gaze at Kakashi again, watching him squirm at the sight of you, his hands twitching to feel your skin.

You keep your eyes on him as you slide down slightly on his thigh, tugging his trousers down as you go. Your hands find the base of his cock as you allow yourself to admire his throbbing length.

He leans his head back on the grass and you feel him getting harder in your hands.

Forming your hand into a fist around him, you move it up and down along his shaft in slow steady strokes, leaning down to bring your mouth closer to his tip, before swirling your tongue in circles around his skin.

His hips tremble as he clutches onto the grass, writhing.

Your lips clasp around his cock, mouth slurping up and down his length, taking your time sliding down to the base and back up, your hands following suit.

You tease him, switching between the tip of your tongue and your whole mouth, sending sparks of pleasure shooting through him.

He quivers and you sit back up, bending forward over his face and pressing your lips on his. A groan from his mouth erupts inside yours as he clutches your hips.

His hands guide your hips back and forth over his length, your lips trembling as he slips into you, his cock finally inside you, pushing into you, filling you as deep as you can be filled.

A new rush of pleasure burns through your senses, your insides stretching as you move your hips around him, back and forth and then in circles.

“A-a-ah...mm…yeah…”, your muffled moans cut through the depths of the forest in the silence of the night.

Kakashi breathes your name, the eruption of your name from his lips enough to send you to a frenzy, filling your heart with drunken fervour.

You moan his name back in reply, hopping up and down on him as his arm snakes behind your waist and he flips you over in a sudden, swift movement, the weight of his body falling over you now.

You arch your back, pushing your hips up to meet his, unwilling to break away even for a second.

You want him so, so bad.

The pointy peaks of grass underneath poke your skin, your nails digging into his back as he nibbles on your neck, thrusting deep, deep into you.

You feel the familiar shudder from earlier again, your mind getting clouded with waves of pleasure coursing through you. Kakashi’s grunts quaver in your ear as you feel his hips jerk in tune to yours.

There’s a tantalizing jolt of ecstasy through your body as you scream out, your quivering voice matching his grunts as you both put a hand over the other’s mouth, your muffled moans melting into each other’s skin. He quivers inside you for a final time before you feel him slipping out of you, as hot wet cum trickles along the insides of your thighs, dripping into the dewy grass beneath.

Droplets of sweat from his hair drips down on you, tasting salty in your mouth. You heave together in exhaustion as he plops down on you, before rolling to the side.

You lie on your back panting, your entire body damp with sweat.

Languor threatens to take over you as you struggle to keep your eyes open, looking up into the night sky.

You see a firefly glowing above your head. You lift a lazy hand to reach it, but it flies away far above, becoming one with the twinkling stars in the sky.

Soft sounds of Kakashi’s breath echo beside you, his foot still touching yours lightly as the both of you lie heaving under the stars.

He turns his head to look at you and you can feel his eyes on you as you try, with all the fibres in your body, to not look back at him.

You know you won’t be able to hold yourself together any longer if you do.

He extends a hand towards you. “That was…”

“Sshhh… Shut up” you say in a slumberous whisper, moving closer into his arm, putting your own around him, your head buried into chest as you feel your eyes getting heavy…not able to stay awake anymore. You feel Kakashi envelope you in his arms, the warmth from his skin against the cold air lulling you to sleep, your mind becoming foggy as you close your eyes, slowly drifting off somewhere far, far away…

--------------------------------------------------

Your eyes open to the chirping of birds perched on the branches above, rays of morning light casting a rosy glow in the horizon.

You watch the half light in the distance, rubbing your eyes, smiling to yourself.

The night had taken with it the black clouds of denial fogging your mind, your heart is as clear as day now.

You turn your head just in time to see Kakashi opening his eyes, his eyes puffy, imprints of grass marking his soft cheek.

You smile at him as he looks at you, lips curled into a sleepy smile. “Good morning” he yawns, tapping over his mouth with his palm.

“I won.”

“Hmm?” he asks groggily, eyes still adjusting to the light.

You hold up the two small bells in front of him, they jingle over his face.

He chuckles. “I don’t think so. It’s past dawn”

“I took them off before. I won.”

He laughs again, his face lighting up in a way you’d never seen before. He looks even more beautiful in the daylight.

“In all fairness y/n, there are no losers here.”

You laugh along with him now, reaching across and smoothening the imprints on his cheek, keeping your hand there, cupping his cheek.

“So, I passed?” you ask, looking at him, inching closer.

He looks back at you, with the same look from earlier in his eyes.

But you’re not turning yourself blind to it anymore.

“Top of the class” he laughs, pulling you closer, nuzzling your nose with his before pressing his lips into yours.

Notes :-

Did I quote 10 Things I Hate About You on a Kakashi Smut?

Yes, yes i did.

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