#batfamily incorrect quotes | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

batfam-freek · 2 days

Text

Imagine Tim losing his shit and going off on his siblings with prison threats

Damian: You're too slow, Drake. You really need—

Tim: If you don't shut the fuck up I will fucking touch you, you little bitch.

#batman #incorrect batfam quotes #batfam #batfam incorrect quotes #batfamily incorrect quotes #incorrect batfamily quotes #batfamily #dc incorrect quotes #tim drake #dc tim drake #red robin #dc red robin

44 notes · View notes

vodrae · 5 months

Text

Rich pregnant socialite: So we went to this clinic and let them manipulate our genes so we're 100% sure our child won't have any disease, he will have my hair and his father eyes and so much things we did for him! And you Bruce ?

Brucie: Found em in the trash. Except Tim, he found me in the trash.

31K notes · View notes

goodoldfashionedengineer · 3 months

Text

Dick: *posts a video consisting of multiple clips to social media, in which Jason is seen sitting in a chair, reading something on his phone*

---

Jason: *widens his eyes and leans forward, gripping one of the chair arms*

Jason: No, the fuck, he didn't?!

Jason: That's not something he would say, but fine.

Jason: *blinks a few times* *looks up* *stares at his phone again* *blinks again* *raises his eyebrows*

Jason: *lies his phone aside, grips his hair while he paces around the room, clearly suppressing a scream*

Jason: I know I sometimes turn into a masochist when it comes to reading, but this is on a new level, even for me

---

Tim: *walks into the frame and takes Jason's phone away*

Jason: Give me back my pho-

Tim: YOU READ BATFAMILY ON AO3?!

7K notes · View notes

book-place-incorrect-quotes · 10 months

Text

Jason: I accidentally poisoned one of our drinks, but I don’t remember which one

Dick: EXCUSE ME-

Damian: With the way this gala’s going, I hope it’s mine

Tim: *chugs his drink*

Bruce: *quickly takes Y/N’s drink before she can do the same*

Y/N: Aw man :(

10K notes · View notes

dc-and-damirae · 11 months

Text

random hero: aren't you embarrassed about being related to the villain red hood?

Dick: honestly, I'm more embarrassed about being related to Tim

*Tim walks in covered in glitter and offers no explanation*

Jason watching on the monitors at his safe house: lol

12K notes · View notes

damianwaynerocks · 5 months

Text

bernard: tim, i’m so happy, i could kiss you!

tim, panicking: haha! neat!

tim, two hours later: I can't believe I said “neat,” dick. “Neat.” Nobody says neat anymore! It's not neat to say neat! you would never say “neat!”

dick: don’t beat yourself up, tim! not everyone can be as suave as me.

jason: didn’t you say “crikey” the first time barbara kissed you?

dick, staring blankly into the distance:

dick: i did say “crikey.”

#it’s so them #truly #damian wayne #tim drake #jason todd #dick grayson #red robin #robin #red hood #nightwing #batfamily #bruce wayne #batfamily incorrect quotes

5K notes · View notes

black-lone-knight · 1 year

Text

I love the idea of Tim and Bruce being the two smartest people in batfam; So they occasionally say weird things that only they can understand.

Dick, panicked: OH MY GOD! I asked Kory out. What should I do now? What if she won't like me?

Bruce: Schrödinger's cat.

Dick:

Dick: ...what?

Tim: He's saying you won't findout unless you actually try it and go on a date with her.

Dick: Aww! That's so nice. Thanks, B.

Jason: Who's Schrödinger's cat?

...

Tim, with soaked shirt:

Duke: What happened?

Tim: The driving frequency corresponded to the resonance frequency of coffee, therefore the sloshing amplitude reached its maximum.

Duke: Say what again??

Bruce: He spilled his coffee.

Duke:

Duke: ...right.

Jason: Fucking weirdos.

8K notes · View notes

bat-stuff · 7 months

Text

Diana: So how’s the new Robin doing?

Bruce: oh? Uh yeah he’s alright

Meanwhile back at the manor:

Alfred: Master Timothy, the weather is lovely outside-

Tim: just a minute Alfred…Does Bruce know that the woman he met at the gala last night is Oliver Queen’s third cousin’s wife’s sister-

Alfred, who just wants Tim to go outside: I’m sure he-what?

4K notes · View notes

vigilvntes · 7 months

Text

dick, giving the family a pep talk: everything you lose is a step you take

the family, nodding in agreement:

jason:

jason: hang on. wait a sec. did you just... quote taylor swift?

dick: ......what? no. no.

jason: no. no, you definitely did. that's taylor swift.

dick: it's not–... i didn't–

barbara: how do you know enough taylor swift to be able to quote her in your speeches?

dick, panicking: *points at jason* well how does he know enough taylor swift to be able to notice that i'm quoting taylor swift?

jason, on his way out: my lawyers will be in contact

tim, quietly: he doesn't even have a lawyer

#everyone be quiet liz is speaking #don't mind me just posting a few drafts #it's batman day you have to forgive my absence and accept this as an apology #batfamily #jason todd #dick grayson #batman #red hood #nightwing #taylor swift #batfamily incorrect quotes #tim drake #red robin #barbara gordon #oracle #batgirl

4K notes · View notes

violent138 · 29 days

Text

Dick, back from an undercover mission: "All right, fill me in. Tell me everything I missed."

Steph: "Won't take long. Only three things happened. Jason chipped his tooth and had a lisp for a week."

Jason: "Lithen up, theeven. I'm Thorry, did I thay thumthing amuthing to you? Anther me, you thun of a birth!"

Duke: "Number two, Stephanie and Damian wore the same outfit to work one day."

Steph: "How does it look better on you?"

Jason: "And Bruce banned headphones while masks are on, due to the Tim Incident."

Tim, rolling his eyes, shouting across the Cave: "I like listening to music sometimes! Patrol gets boring!"

Dick: "Great recap."

#batfamily incorrect quotes #I'm on a roll tonight okay #now that I think about this for more than five seconds it makes so much more sense if you reverse Tim and Steph LMAO #i need to do something since I'm physically unable to sleep #batman #dc comics #batfamily #batman incorrect quotes #source: brooklyn 99 #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #stephanie brown #damian wayne #tim drake #duke thomas

1K notes · View notes

vodrae · 3 months

Text

Jason: Man I was born in the wrong era

Barbara: Oh ? Where would you go ? Roman Empire ? Golden Age of pirates ?

Jason: Far West, when you'd be a hero by shooting bad guys.

Barbara: Jason !

Steph: Y'know, you ain't a tree. You can move. Kidnap rogues and kill them in countries without proper justice system.

Barbara: Stephanie !

Tim: Or you just could go to the no man's land in Yellowstone park or the four corners.

Barbara: Timothy !

Dick: Quite frankly if you drop Joker's body in Bludhaven we won't waste time on it.

Barbara: Richard !

Damian: There would be an investigation only if there is a body.

Barbara: Damian !

Cassandra: Cassandra !

6K notes · View notes

rainnyydaysworld · 2 months

Text

Tim: Hey, do you know the password to Damian’s computer?

Duke: Fuck you, Tim.

Tim: Hey!!

Duke: No, you misunderstood, the password is "fuckyouTim".

Tim: Oh, no numbers? Not very safe.

—

Reader: Get on my level!

Steph: Unfortunately, to "get on your level" I'd need a boat trip to the Mariana Trench and a pair of cinderblock shoes.

—

*Dick is fighting a monster*

Barbara : Just stay calm! You already have everything you need to beat it!

Dick: The power to believe in myself!?

Barbara : No, a knife! Stab it!

—

Reader: Sorry I'm late, I was doing stuff.

Jason: YOU PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS!

—

Damian: Tim, this morning, I called you abhorrent and reprehensible, and I’d like to withdraw that statement-

Tim: Aww, thanks-

Damian: But I can't. Those are the 2 words that best describe you.

—

Reader: So, Steph is no longer allowed to take the trash out at night.

Cassandra: Why?

Reader: Because I've caught her trying to train raccoons to fight five times in a row.

Steph, arms crossed and pouting: You'll be thanking me when the third raccoon battalion saves your ass.

2K notes · View notes

wondersinwaynemanor · 3 months

Text

Red Hood and Red Robin greeting each other seriously during patrol so that RR can give the coordinates of a homeless child somewhere in Crime Alley. as if they weren't talking about explosives the other night and Jason didn't teach Tim to bake the coffee cupcakes he loves so much.

Later in a few

Red Hood, crushes the bags of stimulants on his hand and throws them on the sewers: Get a fucking new hobby. These things are disgusting.

Goon, runs: Fuck you, Hood!

Red Hood, sighs: What an idiot- The fuck. Where's my other gu-

Red Hood sighs again.

Red Hood, speaks to the rest of the family through the comms before chasing the goon: The kid's got my weapon again.

Nightwing: Robin, what -

Robin: Negative. It's not me.

Batman, pinches the bridge of his nose as he sits on a gargoyle somewhere in Gotham and thinks, "Here we go again."

Somewhere at a rooftop in Metropolis

Kon: Um Tim, I know you have plans of destruction, but-

Tim puts the weapon at the back of his suit. and Kon wonders how do the Bats even have places for weapons on their suits?

Tim: Nah, this is a comeback for him stealing one of the cupcakes you like at my apartment.

Kon: I already told you I'm over it!

Red Hood, hears the conversation through the comms and screams: Like the boy said, he's over it! Give that back to me!

2K notes · View notes

book-place-incorrect-quotes · 6 months

Text

*The Batfamily: hiding to try to throw a surprise party for Y/N*

Jason: *from behind a chair* Stop moving, Dickie-Bird, you’re louder than a bulldozer!

Dick: *from behind the couch* Well, sorry that Steph won’t move out of my way!

Steph: *kicking him* This is my hiding spot! Find your own!

Damian: *rolling his eyes* You imbeciles are acting like children

Tim: Everyone shut up- I think Y/N’s walking into the house!

Jason: Oh, really? Because I couldn’t hear anything over your loud ass breathing, replacement!

Dick: *whining* Why can’t anything ever be easy?

Tim: You guys are all going to ruin the surprise, shut up!

Y/N: *crouching beside Dick* Who are we waiting for?

Batfamily: *all let out high pitched screams*

7K notes · View notes

hellrobin · 10 months

Text

dick: justice league crushes, go. mine is superman jason: wonder woman duke: wonder woman as well steph: zatanna tim: lois lane dick: she’s not— tim: lois lane *bruce walks in* bruce: what are you guys talking about? duke: our jla crushes bruce: oh🤨? don’t mind me… *everyone mentally calculating how best to annoy bruce* damian: green arrow dick: i rescind my earlier statement. green arrow jason: me as well. green arrow steph: yeah, green arrow duke: agreed. green arrow tim: green arrow, 100% cass: *signing* green arrow cullen: tim green arrow bruce: *crying* cass you don’t even LIKE men

7K notes · View notes

qcomicsy · 1 year

Text

Alfred comes home and there's a whole noise from the kitchen.

Alfred: Is everything okay?

Damian: Dumbass is coming out.

Alfred: Oh.

Alfred (to Dick): ...I figured this day would come sooner or later...

Dick:

Alfred: Don't think I didn't saw it my boy, and pardon me if I should said something before...

Dick: No, no, no it's not

Alfred:... I mean It was obvious from the start but I figured I shouldn't press-

Dick: Alfie It's not

Jason: No, no let him finish.

----

Batman: Yes, my kid also came out to me recently.

Superman (to Dick): Oh wow, that's great! I'm proud of you buddy.

Dick:

Dick: What

Tim: It's me.

Superman: Oh

Superman: Oh wow, thats great! I'm proud of you buddy.

Dick: No, wait you can't just-

----

Jon: I'm just glad in not being alone in this, you know.

Titans:

Dick: It's not me.

Titans: "Oh, right. Sure." " Yeah we knew it" "Totally"

#I've been thinking about this since Tim came out beaceus that was pretty much every reaction from everyone I know #And i find fucking hilarious #Tim had more in lore logic but Grayson just screams queer energy and there's no way people around him didn't caught up onto that #jason todd #tim drake #dick grayson #batfam #incorrect quotes #batfamily incorrect quotes #the funniest part is that if gotham knights is cannon he might actually be and this is just him being confused #on how people think he'll need to come out #but if he's not he's the talk Valentina of the family and we love him anyway

11K notes · View notes