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batfambrainrotbeloved · 2 days

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Batfam quotes as quotes from my dnd group (part 4)(a few mild nsfw so be warned, but again- dnd, so it was inevitable)

Dick:“Zantana is in the fucking shadow realm assembling her Yu-gi-o deck” Duke:"I'm going to look you in the eyes and be difficult, you are well within your right to refuse me" Tim:"It's Saprophysis- okay Zara I know you wanna spell it so it goes F..." Jason:"..." Jason:"You immediately fucked that up-" Tim:"Kon do you not trust me anymore"? Luthor:"Lie to him Kon" Kon:"Nah its just that your now really fucking hot-" Luthor:"Kon NO" Damian:“If he had drowned I would have been like- oh well" Tim to Ra: “May I ask? Oh no- I will ask- Whose terrarium do you crawl around in”? Babs:“She's more of an object” Dick:“Aren't we all” Jason:“..Objects to the system” Steph:“Maybe that's what's on my horizon… glue” Damian:“The Raven queen does not permit you to walk away-” Jason:"But what if I jump"? N/A Goon:“You will watch them make out” Steph:"Oh... oh nooo- anything but t h a t" Jason:“What does a shark cock look like- I'm curious”? Duke:“Does it like.. Roll up”? Steph:“I mean a shark vagina actually looks fairly normal, you look at it and go yeah that's a vagina” Damian:"I hate you all."

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dc-and-damirae · 2 days

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tim: I’m making subtle hints that my family should go to therapy. ~ jason: Damn, I dropped my chopsticks. tim: Like dad dropped the ball on raising us? You know what help with that? Some fucking therapy dick: Can I eat in peace?!?!

#batboys #incorrect dc quotes #incorrect quotes #dc incorrect quotes #dc funny #dc comics #batfam #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect batboys quotes #incorrect bat bros #batfam shenanigans #batfam on crack

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91-1lover · 1 month

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What if Damian and Tim love each other and even like? It's just more of a situation "Manipulating others is easier ". Maybe an example will help;

Damian: Father, May I go to Zoo today?

Bruce:No Damian, you're grounded.

Tim:Oh, that's bad. I could go with you to take photos of otter, but if you are not going I think I will stay too. What's a zoo without company. Maybe I will go with Kon next week.

Bruce *Super happy in a moment of thinking his youngest kids getting along*: If you two agree not to kill each other, Damian can go

Tim and Damian:*Knowing looks*

Or situation like;

Tim who has abandoned issues and is having fear of people leaving him: Dick is mad at me. Can you stab me so he will be in his mother hen mode Instead?

Damian who would like to have 5 minutes of peace from Grayson: Say no more

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goodoldfashionedengineer · 3 months

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Dick: *posts a video consisting of multiple clips to social media, in which Jason is seen sitting in a chair, reading something on his phone*

---

Jason: *widens his eyes and leans forward, gripping one of the chair arms*

Jason: No, the fuck, he didn't?!

Jason: That's not something he would say, but fine.

Jason: *blinks a few times* *looks up* *stares at his phone again* *blinks again* *raises his eyebrows*

Jason: *lies his phone aside, grips his hair while he paces around the room, clearly suppressing a scream*

Jason: I know I sometimes turn into a masochist when it comes to reading, but this is on a new level, even for me

---

Tim: *walks into the frame and takes Jason's phone away*

Jason: Give me back my pho-

Tim: YOU READ BATFAMILY ON AO3?!

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sodamnbored · 21 days

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Damian, entering the living room: Oh, Drake. I didn’t realise you were here too.

Tim, distracted on his phone on the couch: Yeah, best WiFi around. Keeping busy?

Damian, looking in cupboards and chandeliers for acrobatic older brothers: Looking for Dick.

Tim absently, not looking up from Grindr: Mm, me too.

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ryemiffie · 21 days

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More quotes from my day turned into batman incorrect quotes for your day!

Joker: And now, the time has come for the jaw-dropping final act of the life of the infamous Nightwing!

Nightwing, pulling an uno card out of nowhere: Nice try, uno reverse!

Joker: Aw damn, you've foiled my plot again!

Jason: What?! All he did was pull out an uno card!

Joker: Yeah, an uno reverse card.

Jason: ??

Joker, handing over his weapon to nightwing: Well I suppose I ought to give this to you now.

Jason: You're just gonna give him your weapon?!

Joker: Well of course, those are the rules.

Jason: So if I had just pulled out my trusty uno reverse card back when you were trying to kill me, you'd have just, what? Stopped?

Joker: you had an uno reverse card on you?

Jason: No I didn't have a fucking uno reverse card on me!

Joker: Oh well that's a shame.

Jason: Are you kidding me right now!?

Nightwing: How do you not carry an uno reverse card around with you wherever you go at this point?

Jason: Why the fuck would I!?

Nightwing: Cause we fight these extravagant assholes everyday, they're all wack, of course they abide by uno reverse card rules!

Jason: Well gee, thanks for the heads up!

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youroriginalsublimecupcakestuff · 5 months

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Dick, at the police station: hi, i'm here for jason.

officer: last name?

Dick : .....ah. you must be new.

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samthechaotic · 1 month

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Tim: Whenever I face a horrible situation, I ask myself "what would Jason do?" and do the exact opposite.

Damian: For the first, and probably last, time in your life Drake, you're right.

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yourmomxx · 1 year

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Bruce, in a meeting: My policy is if you see something, say something.

Robin!Dick: I saw a squirrel in a tree today!

Bruce, with the tone of someone who is used to Dick: Outstanding.

Bruce: This is what I'm talking about people.

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loosepocketchange01 · 10 months

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#batfam #jason todd #batman #batfamily #dick grayson #dcu #incorrect batboys quotes #gotham #bruce wayne #incorrect twitter #damian wayne #duke thomas #I lose more sanity with every one of these I spoke

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batfambrainrotbeloved · 2 days

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Batfam quotes as quotes from my dnd group (part 5)(but my homeland security class once more, we had a guest speaker- it was a vibe)

Dick:“I'm sorry I keep swearing- i'm from Gotham it's how we say hello” Steph:“He impaled a bunch of people IRL” Duke:“The Vampire”?? Damian:“If someone says nothing ever came from waterboarding I would say thats incorrect” Jason:“The first time is just a new experience, but the 73rd time? it hits different"

Jason:“The amount of drugs in that shit could have killed the entire fucking country- if you kill everyone who the fuck are you going to sell to”?

Duke:“This doesn't look right for Gotham New Jersey, means you had to be doing some stupid shit to be suspicious in GOTHAM”

Tim:“Are criminals stupid? Thank god sometimes they are”

Duke:“..How did you burn it”? Cass:“With Gasoline.”

Daimian:“She's a white woman” Dick:“Of course” Steph:“Yeah frikin white women”

Jason:“I'm missing a trigger finger- they went how are you gonna fire, I can do it like this” *flips them off* Steph:“This old guy went fuck it, give me the drill, and he just drilled” Tim:“I have never respected the elderly more”

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dc-and-damirae · 6 months

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dick: Hey guys, what are you watching? damian: Kitten Football. dick: Why? damian: It’s randomly came on and now I’m invested. And then jason came in and got into it too. Aw, look Snuggles fell asleep- jason: SNUGGLES, WAKE THE HELL UP AND GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME, DAMNIT! dick:?! damian: jason sees the show differently than I do.

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91-1lover · 1 month

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Dick and Damian- *Fighting using an incredible strategy and hours of training*

Meanwhile

Jason- YEEEET *Throwing Tim at bad guys*

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lilylovelyxo · 1 year

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*Y/N, Dick, and Roy watching Jason beat the shit out of a man for putting his hands on you*

Dick: “Oh, boy…”

Y/N: “I'm going to watch through my fingers. No, I'm not.”

Dick: “I'm going to look away.”

Roy: “I think we're gonna have to lay low for a little while after this.”

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nadineprescott · 1 year

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Alfred: do you boys wish to come to church?

Duke: i’ve got patrol

Tim: i’m an atheist

Jason: I’m a satanist

Damian: …

Alfred: very well

*this happens every sunday

**they go with him sometimes to make him happy, also because church ladies have the best drama

***jason pretends that he is burning to death every. single. time.

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ryemiffie · 18 days

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More of me and my bro as bat bros incorrect quotes:

Dick, accidentally clicking the wrong thing on the bat computer: Oh wait, shit, I didn't want you.

Tim, standing ominously behind him: That's what Bruce said when I became Robin.

Dick:

Tim:

Dick: Tim, noo..

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