#bc it was my goddamn childhood ok
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I know I originally said in a comment at some point about how annoying the Logan war got (think it was in that post asking why we all suddenly backed off) but now I just find your posts humoring it's like "THIS LITTLE GODDAMN PIECE OF SHIT-" and it's the most innocent picture of Logan.
Love seeing it nowadays (cuz it's funny), but you have a good point that he hasn't furthered the story yet but I feel like Red might change that soon. Hopefully. Also how we haven't had his backstory but that also might change too (we've got a hint in one episode where they fought his bullies, something about how his parents didn't want him and he fact that we've only seen his grandparents but not his actual parents says something....)
Anyways something I need to ask you! What are your opinions on the others, what you like about them or dislike, favorite moments and what not. I'm curious!
Sorry this may have been long!
SEE NOW YOU GUYS ARE GETTING MY HUMOR , THIS ACTUALLY MAKES ME SO HAPPY!!! THANK UUUUU A LOT
also UR SO GREAT FOR THE QUESTION YOU ASKED!! I love talking about everyone else
I’ll assess them in order of: ashlyn, aiden, taylor, tyler, ben (not by order of how much I like them or anything btw). Some sections are longer than others because I’m bias BUT ALSO BECAUSE I got tired of typing and realized there was wayyy tm to read. Sorry!!!! if you don’t wanna read all this I put a short summary all the way on the bottom + feel free to me ask me specific questions ! now let me talk your ear off
ASHLYN:
I really like ashlyn because she has the most potential out of everyone (and that’s not to say the other characters aren’t deep, because that’s the opposite of true but bae is the whole reason we’re here). I think she’s also really relatable in the sense that she doesn’t like interacting with people but she can easily take the leadership role when needed. like okay queen I see you. also I really enjoy the fact Red made her dislike aiden at first even though they have a side romance plot going rn. bc that’s how it would’ve been if they were real. ash would not just become chatty out of no where and fall head over heels for him. and I really appreciate the slowburn. Ashlyn’s also higher on my favorites list because I’m bias and we have the same hair length 😣 usually when characters have long hair, authors tend to let their hair flow a lot, but red put ts in braids 🙏 and ask anyone with long hair like that, their hair is up 99% of the time bc it’s annoying, hot, and (personally) GRABS ONTO EVERYTHING LIKE ITS A THIRD HAND. I have a lot of headcannons for ash just based on small character designs / aspects that not a lot of people really think about. She’s so interesting and I really just love her. And since I have positives, I’ll give one negative about her. In the beginning, Ashlyn was really hesitant to tell the group anything. I understand where she was coming from, and given Tyler’s reaction, I don’t blame her for keeping things to herself. But mannnn ts was so frustrating sometimes. it’s ok tho bc all good stories stress you out.
AIDEN:
omg guys it’s my favorite ever. I know aidens really popular already so I’ll try not to rant on about him forever but hes just the best 😣 but mans really does not gaf EVERR.
now I could rant on and on about how silly Aiden is and why he’s so misunderstood as a character, because he’s not crazy like at all and if anything he’s one of the smartest characters in sbg, but I’ll save if for a better time. Instead I wanna talk about how observant he is of Ben and ashlyn.
it’s cropping weridly, sorry. but aiden’s eyes are always watching the ones he cares about most. I feel like this has to do with the fact Ben cannot voice his concerns/opinions so aiden always has to glance at him to make sure he’s not missing any important signal. But I also think it has to do with his childhood (I don’t have fast pass or anything this is just based off of theories/analysis based on his character bc I do that a lot 🤒). Anyways, he has a specific way of comforting people that I think it’s rlly niche. He uses his hands and gets the person what he thinks they need. Like in the attached images he gets ashlyn fabric to squeeze and distracts her with light conversation, and he immediately offers to take a walk with Ben and get some fresh air. If a person refuses or asks him for space, he immediately obeys and doesn’t question their decision. He’s very trusting and understanding. He gives people room to make mistakes and gives them room to ask for help. I’m mainly bringing this up because it ties back to something I’m gonna talk about in Taylor’s section. I just think that this detail is so important to his character and we always brush over it. I don’t wanna say he doesn’t like physical touch, bc he’s always touching everything around him, but I like to think his main love language is acts of service. When you really look at it, his actions speak a lot louder than his bickering and it really helps display how much each character means to him individually. what elseee. He’s able to quickly adjust and assess situations (like when he attacked the phantom or pulled up ashlyn in the bus). He’s very quick to his feet and always needs to be interacting with something to keep his hands busy. Aiden just really don’t gaf 99% of the time (unless it’s Ben / ashlyn) and honestly that’s why I like him. He doesn’t take anything seriously or personally. clap it up for my hb. Also I notice the sbg fandom has a habit of doing it with everyone, but I feel like Aiden is always reduced to his impulsive behaviors and ‘crazy kid’ persona. please guys. look deeper into Aiden Clark. Instead of wasting your energy trying to defend a NERDY FREAK like Logan fields, you should study more on Aiden Clark and his complex character.
yes. do that. rn. You want to so badly. I know you do. Do it. Go reread sbg and focus on Aiden. wowwww. I know you want to. (I’m hypnotizing you btw) Or just ask me I can talk about Aiden (or really any character) alll day long. Ask me anything about anyone and I’ll tell you what I think with proof and evidence. yes. I just need to cut it short because I have to talk about everyone else to. But study Aiden Clark. do it. really. really. Right now. Go. Go. Now. PLUS Aiden’s probably the least likely to die because he’s to cool for that + he’s better than death and injury. YAAA!!! MAKE AIDEN CLARK UR FAV BC YOULL BE SAFE FROM ANGST 🎉
only thing I don’t like about Aiden gotta be his fashion sense sometimes (usually beginning S1). like WHAT R U WEARING MAN???? 🙁
TAYLOR:
okay now let me talk about my shnukums Taylor. I love her a lot but her and Tyler had very different childhoods regardless of the fact they were in the same situation.
We don’t know a lot about Taylor’s version of growing up, so a lot of the details are vague but everything I say is based off of observations and analyses I have personally made, so please take everything I say about Taylor’s backstory with a grain of salt and understand that no matter what, both twins were majorly affected by the passing of their father and illness of their mother.
At first i thought of Taylor was the more lucky one out of Tyler and Taylor when it came to their childhood. Yes she struggled, I knew that, but Tyler was under a lot of stress. But that’s when I realized that she suffered just as much. Although she didn’t need to sacrifice herself to help her family survive, like Tyler did, she went though the most loss. She lost her mother, father, and brother all overnight. One second they were all happy together and the next she was all alone. Physically, her mother and brother were still there, but they were both shells. Her mother isolated by grief and her brother isolated by responsibility. She was all alone. Yes Tyler did his best to support her, but at the end of the day, there wasn’t much he could do to change the situation. Taylor suffered a lot, and since people mostly focus on Tyler, we never really see Taylor’s POV of it all.
Now her backstory leads me into the fact Taylor is the most socially smart character in sbg. She is also the most observant and supportive. This is not to say others aren’t observant/supportive, like Aiden for an example, but she does it much differently. I would attach a picture here but I’m close to maxing out the photo limit and I want to save it for later.
Taylor is very good at reading the emotions of other characters. She is also very observant. Taylor is often the first to notice when a charater is uncomfortable, panicked, or harmed. For an example, she’s the first to notice Ashlyn’s fear back at the house. Unlike Aiden, Taylor is able to verbally let people know she is there for them. She comforts them through words and physical affection. Taylor is usually aware of how much support someone is in need of and the best way to display it for them specifically. For an example when Logan was getting bullied, she defended him against Tyler’s mean words and held his shoulder for reassurance. This same tactic would not work for ashlyn, and Taylor is aware of that. So, when ashlyn broke down about the struggles of being leader, Taylor comforted her through words and reassured her fears. Taylor opened up a space for ashlyn to be scared and share her burden. She was able to do all of this in only a couple of moments. This skills also becomes a werid quirk when she is able to sense Tyler’s condition in the hospital, but maybe that was just twin senses? 🤷♀️ idk
Taylor is also very aware of everyone around her. We know that she is very social and has a lot of friends and connections, but she also educates herself on the people she doesn’t interact with. Even if she doesn’t know a lot, she makes sure to acknowledge their presence at the very least.
What does her ability to read emotion have to do with her childhood? Well, Taylor basically lived with a shell of a family. Tyler was under constant stress, which made him prone to outbursts. Her mother was disabled by grief. Taylor was in a situation that made her feel like she had to take care of her family mentally. It was, to her, the least she could do. So, she was mentally mature from a very young age. Although having to hold the burdens of others constantly is very unhealthy, I’m not sure if she’ll crack because of it.
Taylor being very social and having a lot of friends is also another example of how she’s different from Tyler and how their shared childhood affected them differently. Tyler saw people as distractions while Taylor sees them as her means to keep living. Taylor lives off of other peoples energy, and she maintains the energy of other people by being a supportive beam for them. This is also why I’m okay with Taylor being shipped with others. She’s use to being around people and can form close bonds with others while still only viewing them as friends. Tyler cannot do the same. Taylor is in a position where she can expand her horizons into romantic relations if she was interested in doing so. That’s why I feel as though it’s okay (if that doesn’t make sense I’ll explain it again, but I tried to condense it down)
Something I don’t like about Taylor is that we haven’t gotten to see her brain in action yet. We know she’s the president of the robotics club , but we haven’t had the chance to see her charater support the story in any other way but socially and mentally. The story is only at 60 episodes though, and I’m sure we will see it eventually. Im just impatient and want to see women in STEM shine 😣😣 I wish I could talk about her more, but we barely know anything about Taylor as of right now. I will say it’s interesting how she told her and Tyler’s backstory, but only talked about how Tyler was affected and not herself. Interesting… I hope we learn more about her experiences and I hope I’m right 🙏 also CAN WE TAKE A MOMENT TO APPRECIATE HOW PRETTY SHE IS??? UGHH I LOVE HER SMM
TYLER:
I feel like Tyler has been the topic of discussion for the past couple of months because his backstory was revealed and the end of S1 / beginning of S2 was all about him and his past, so I don’t have a lot to say that I haven’t already said. but I do really like Tyler. At first when he was in his jock era I was very , oh! about him. but he’s actually warmed up to me sooooo much since then. he’s so goofy I just want more interactions between him and Aiden. I think I good place to start is how much I HATE people shipping him with other members of the main cast. I talked about it a little in Taylor’s section, but him and Taylor had very different childhoods. Again, I’m not saying their father’s death and mother’s illness was not hard on the both of them, but Tyler was under a lot of pressure too. We know he isolated himself harshly, and stopped having fun all together. The way I look at it, everything, including living day-to-day, became a chore for Tyler. Ever since he was a little kid. His dad’s death changed his entire world overnight. He had to learn how to physically and mentally support everyone important to him, because if he couldn’t no one else would. Tyler had to learn everything about living life by himself as a baby just so everyone else could survive. He stopped having fun. Little kids find fun in everything. Tyler stopped himself from finding it. He didn’t do anything for himself anymore. He was almost like a empty shell doing automatic tasks so that his sister and mother could have space to grow, heal, and live. In a sense, it was self sacrifice (which he attempts again when he tells the group to leave him behind)
So when Taylor tells us that the main cast started to become an extension of the family he sacrificed himself for, it’s so heavy on his character. Especially because for once in a long time he started relating his ‘family’ back to joy and fun, not just safety and survival. That’s why it bothers me when people ship him with others. It’s so werid to imply he’d date any of the main cast when he sees them as his family. consider them blood-siblings if you gotta, but just stop shipping them. PLEAASSSSEEEEEEEEEEE. otherwise I’ll eat your dog. thanks! also him being friends with the main cast at all is such a huge step for him. I don’t think Tyler has time to get involved with romantic relationships when he believes friends are a distraction. I know a lot of people go to romance when they want to express how strong a connection is between two characters, but you guys are forgetting that Tyler considering everyone as his friends is sooooo much more complex and deep compared to (for an example) Logan saying he considers everyone his friend. ANYWAYS ENOUGHHH!!! let’s move on.
I also wanna talk about this scene (I was to lazy to go find the original scene so the flashback is all you get). I never really realized how much ashlyn ordering Tyler around must’ve affected him. He literally spent his whole life making decisions and taking leadership and all of a sudden some random lil girl is over here telling him to stfu and sit his ass down. I would imagine as mad as he was, he probably felt a least a bit of relief. For once the responsibility wasn’t on him, at least not only on him. He could share his burden with others, and he wasn’t suffocated by being responsible for the lives of everyone else. We see this same struggle affect ashlyn, as she feels like being leader strangles her with the weight of guilt, paranoia, and responsibility. Imagine if Tyler had been the one to bare that weight after everything he’s already been through? he would’ve cracked, whether we like it or not. so let’s clap it up for ashlyn rq!!! yasss girl 😋 I know I’m rambling a lot about tyler but I know a lot about him and want to talkkk 😣 but here is my last point: Tyler’s coping mechanism to the unknown and things that confuse him is denial. Just like his mother 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯
woww! do you guys remember when Tyler thought this whole thing was a joke? me too! he would’ve never thought this silly prank would almost kill him. Tyler’s mom probably thought her husband’s illness wouldn’t kill him either. oops! 😂 (I’m going kms). sorry. my point is they both refused to believe it happened (although his mom’s denial may have been more of a trauma response while his was just to help him cope). Even with evidence, they both couldn’t understand what had happened to them and pretending nothing was wrong. Tyler saw the picture of the phantom’s shadow and brushed it off to technology he couldn’t understand yet. he felt more comfortable with not knowing how technology worked rather than not knowing if he was in danger. his mother is similar. She couldn’t understand and cope with the death of her husband, even though he died in front of her. She felt more comfortable not understanding why he was late from work than understanding he was dead and gone. Guess it runs in the family? 🤷♀️ and since these are all things I like about his character, I will tell you what I don’t like. THAT STUPID ASS JOCK ATTUIDE FROM S1. okay I didn’t hate it, and it fit him sometimes, and I kinda miss it sometimes, but he’s like 5’5 and a stick, he is not beating no one’s ass 😭 respectfully. now he could probably rock me but he’s matured a bit since S1 so it’s different. Tyler’s not even my favorite idk why I talked about him sm , especially when I held off on talking about Aiden because I didn’t want to say to much 🤦♀️ whatever
BEN:
I have a lot to say about Benny boy, especially because he is SOOOOOO mischaraterized. Now I won’t go crazy like I did for the twins because I’m thinking about making a separate post just about Ben (maybe.. maybe not idk). plus I just reminded myself anon asked me to just say a few things I like and disliked about each charater not give crazy long paragraph about them. so, sorry Ben but you will probably have the most boring paragraph of them all. I still love you a lot pookie 🙏 I’m just tired AND MAXED OUT THE AMOUNT OF PICS I CAN USE EVEN THO I NEED TO TALK ABOUT U WHILE USING PICS 🤒 anyways enough rambling.
bens charater is often reduced to his backstory which genuinely makes me want to start tweaking out. if you expand on why his trauma affects him, then I will happily listen to you talk. But when most the fandom sees Ben as “music boy who hate bully, will fight you if you be mean” it makes me so SAAAADDDDD. no, Ben will NOT beat my ass for making fun of Logan. That’s like… the whole point of his backstory? He doesn’t like violence, at all. He’s ashamed of his anger issues. He blames himself for having to move and putting his family in danger. The only reason he got involved with Logan’s fight was because the phantom interference + no one was there to help calm him down.
also he doesn’t only do music. he draws too! he’s a very artistic dude. He also gardens. Ben be planting food and shit. which (as much as I HATE the ship) Logan n Ben shippers could probably use to their advantage. Yk bc Ben gardens and Logan helps his grandparents in their greenhouse? wtv. Bens prob growing flowers for Taylor anyways. Fuck Logan. sorry.
Ben is also very compassionate and gentle. He’s always thinking about what’s best for the group, even if it puts him in an uncomfortable position, like sharing his trauma. Ben is also very soft hearted. He gets flustered very easily, we see this when ashlyn and Taylor complimented him. He is very protective over those he cares about and he does not come to play, ever. Also his character development from S1 makes me so happy. He use to be attached to Aiden’s hip 24/7 and we could often only understand his emotions when Aiden would translate him to us. But we’ve seen lately that he’s much closer to Taylor, even putting her safety before his own.
wow, gentleman alert❗️if I didn’t run out of photo space than I would’ve shown more examples where he holds onto others as a way to comfort or protect them. he’s so respectful I might cry. maybe I will make a Ben-centered post. I need to show you guys pictures so you can understand what I’m saying. But Ben is growing and he needs more attention. thank you.
SUMMARY:
Ashlyn
pros:
- has crazy potential + most hinted at lore
- very relateable
-introverted but stands on business
-W relationship development between her and the cast, very natural and not forced
- her hair
cons:
- she is very hesitant to spill info (only in earlier chaps tho!)
Aiden
pros:
- silly
- observant of those he cares about
- acts of service love language
- trusting/understanding
- quick on his feet
- good at assessing situations/making plans
- he doesn’t GAF 🦅🦅 EVAAA
cons:
- often misunderstood / mischaraterized by the fandom
- has ugly ass outfits sometimes
Taylor
pros:
- most socially smart character in sbg
- good at reading emotions
- good at comforting others
- aware of her surroundings/the people around her
- supportive
- social
- super pretty
- wrote a paragraph on why it’s ok to ship her with the rest of the cast js cuz
cons:
- we don’t see enough of her robotics president side, show me women in STEM 🤬
- we never saw how she experienced childhood (yet..)
Tyler
pros:
- deep childhood trauma/responsibility
- sacrificed himself for his family twice
- not meant to be shipped with anyone in main cast
- sees main cast as family
- he finally made friends
- talked about the scene where ash tells him to shut his bitchass up
- copes by using denial (js like his mom)
cons:
- his jock attitude during S1
Ben
pros:
- hates violence
- angery at his anger issues
- ashamed of his past
- draws and gardens as hobbies
- compassionate and gentle
- soft hearted
- easily flustered
- very protective
- slow but steady quiet charater development
- a gentleman
cons:
- you guys mischaraterize him a lot (like someone told me he doesn’t change as a character bc he never speaks, ts made me mad asf)
THATS ALL! THANK YOU FOR ASKING!! again feel free to as me questions about anything at all even if you didn’t read allat. And if you did, thank you ur so sweet and amazing. Sorry for writing sm ��
also everyone is open to their own opinions, this is just what I think. As always, I’m always down to debate.
#omg that’s a lot of writing#IM SORRY AGAIN#sbg#school bus graveyard webtoon#school bus graveyard#schoolbus graveyard#sbg (webtoon)#sbg ashlyn#ashlyn sbg#ashlyn banner#aiden clark#sbg aiden#aiden sbg#Ben Clark#sbg ben#ben sbg#tyler hernandez#taylor hernandez#Taylor sbg#sbg tyler#hernandez twins#asks#charater analysis
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3, 12, 30 for the ask game :)
3. What are some tropes or details that you think are very characteristic of your fics?
aside from. you know. repeated murder of Cisco. I think there are? I mean. I often have characters, religious or not, murmuring a childhood-prayer as almost a meditative act. I often have characters make allusions to the last unicorn (because I like it), and describing emotions as how they make specific body parts like hands, knees, or eyes feel. and then I try very hard to parallel to scenes from the work in my fics, even if the fic is set during a different episode or season.
12. Are there any tropes you used to dislike but have grown on you?
mmmm I mean. I suppose. I don't like miscommunication, but i've grown to love " two characters miscommunicating not because they refuse to listen but because they are having wholly separate conversations and did not realize it" but like. I'll die still hating 'enemies to lovers' so make of that what you will.
30. Have you ever written something that was out of your comfort zone? If so, what was it, and how did it affect your approach to writing fic thereafter?
oh for sure. I used to HATE action scenes. like. HATE them. dread writing them. and then i landed my ass in superhero fandoms so uh. had to write them a LOT. and now i think i'm not just competent but actually? pretty good!
so then i was like. ok but. writing ships? ack. how do that. I wrote a barry/eddie/iris fic that was VERY weird (dragon shapeshifters mafia boss au will do that) and the hardest part was writing the flirting. but like... i think i can manage ok. still not my favorite to write though.
and then there's Banter. I used to hate writing it bc it always sounded so bad in my ears but for a fic I'm working on i've written TWO scenes with Hartley Rathaway so there had to be banter and tbh? it's good. it's some good goddamn banter.
so now stuff I write has actual action, and sometimes even flirting and banter in it, instead of. uh. not having that.
thanks for asking! :)
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Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks...
well THANK YOU for asking, you are the first to!
tbh ive been meaning to do this on my main blog bc I take these wayyy too seriously lol but ANYWAY heres my top 10 faves (in no particular order) that I can think of (tbh theres prob more i forgot about, or i wanted to keep only 1 per fandom... except tgcf)
Huge Spoiler Warning: for ALL of tgcf, 2ha, aot, AND JJK MANGA!!!
1. Feng Xin (tgcf)
do i even need to explain this one? loyal to a fault, just a cute lil puppy, one hell of a sculpted archers back, and he's head over heels in love with Xie Lian (but tbh same) i have a lot of thoughts about him on a daily basis on this blog (and also theres the #fx backstory au tag)
2. Noé Archiviste (the Case Study of Vanitas)
MY BABY
the absolute bestest boy of EVER... with a LOAD of unprocessed trauma (yknow the typical stuff like seeing your childhood bff get decapitated in front of you) and a lot more to come once we find out how he kills his boyfriend best friend, Vanitas...
i ALSO think about him a lot but over on @noes-pillow
3. Sejanus Plinth (The Hunger Games: tbosas)
hated reading as a child... HATED it... picked up the og trilogy when i was 12 and i was a goner. The funny thing is i still hated reading for YEARS up until i picked up the prequel novel then in 2020, and now ive read all of tgcf, 2ha, and more fanfic than i could ever imagine... all because this stupid boy (i love him) chose to trust the WORST person as his friend, rip sejanus my baby
the movie is v good btw, if you havent seen it you should
4. Xie Lian (tgcf)
*Taizi Dianxia Fang Xin Guoshi General Hua Xie Lian*
how this man survived 800 years of being physically unable to die and never went insane is a mystery i will never be able to fully comprehend (aaand im in love with him... hmm i wonder why...)
5. Mihael "Mello" Keehl (Death Note)
the chocolate-addicted blonde boi that was my first anime crush... by proxy I must also add Mail "Matt" Jeevas because they are a package deal
these two are also the reason i started writing fanfic so they will ALWAYS hold a special place in my heart
6. Xue Meng - (2ha)
*sigh* he's just everyone's fav peacock (yes technically the image is XM 0.5 but he had a cool ass bird so im using this photo bc its COOL anyway...) mengmeng is another one of my trauma bois who has lost next to everything and yet is STILL kicking ass and taking names #thatsmyfuckingsectleader so proud of you my son
also this might get me into hot water here but imma go ahead and say it...
this is what i wanted Jiang Cheng to be... (i LOVE my angy grape but...) through thick and thin, despite EVERYTHING, and even mo ran fucking abandoning him he will still call mo ran his "ge"...
fgjhdfhfdg THEYRE BROTHERS, OKAY???
7. Howl Pendragon (Howl's Moving Castle)
ok this one i just simply do not need to explain... if you think i do, go watch this whole movie and then there ya go thats your answer...
GENDER
8. River Song (Doctor Who)
aside from being the character that unlocked my unhealthy obsession with :) Main Character Death :) at the ripe ol' age of 8 YEARS (although Will Turner from POTC also helped on that front... Orlando Bloom my beloved) River's story was a stroke of absolute GENIUS from start to finish and i simply love how Alex Kingston played her...
"You don't expect a sunset to admire you back."
I just love the doomed ones, okay...
9. Satoru Gojo (Jujutsu Kaisen)
look... theres *gojo girlies* uwu and then theres GOJO GIRLIES... i couldn't give 2 shits about how he's fan-serviced (tho im not complaining) but have you SEEN the amount of grief pumped into that man? he could explode in a fit of fucking insanity at literally any moment and take the whole goddamn world down with him bc what happened with suguru WASNT FAIR to him and satoru has more than enough power to go apeshit... but he DOESN'T... even after losing so many of his co-sorcerers... he still puts on a brave face to the end in order to protect the childhood of his students even tho his own youth was stolen from him during hidden inventory...
SEE? The DOOMED ones!
10. Levi Ackerman (Attack on Titan)
i read the manga during my last year of uni and when i tell you i SOBBED at the end... yes ofc for obvious reasons, but mostly bc my little Levi loses EVERYTHING. He is the SOLE survivor of the veteran scouts. He's missing multiple fingers, an eye, and the ability to walk. He was the strongest (yowaimo) but wasn't even granted the mercy to die at the end of his narrative! Broke my fucking heart.
BONUS: Morph (Treasure Planet)
he's a morph!!! nuff said <3
fin
#thanks for the ask friend!#gonna rb this to my main too bc i needed a new one of these#alex talks#asks#i swear im gonna wake up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night remembering a character i forgot lol oh well i tried
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Apologies to anyone who already figured this out. But I was in my Ruby angst era thinking of all the edits I could make if I knew how to do them and thinking of the show songs. Thought about red like roses, mostly the score of it. But then thinking over the lyrics. And it’s taken me ten years to fully piece together that in the first song we ever hear in this entire series Ruby isn’t even talking about herself.
White is cold and always yearning
Black descends from shadows
Yellow beauty burns gold
But Red? Red, like roses, fills my dreams and brings me to the place you rest
The intro to the goddamn show and Ruby (who I always thought of as the singer to the song and is now confirmed bc of part 2) can’t even talk about an aspect of herself. The intro of the show is saying how she’s haunted by the death of her mother, the red that in her nightmares is the blood of her lost and fallen mother
Our happy can do normal knees best girl From The Start has had issues. And it’s not like I didn’t see it happening but man. When they said watch V1 and 2 to prepare for V9 I did not anticipate all this hurt like. This is not a huge revelation and ppl probably put it together once we got RLR 2. But Ruby never talks about herself!!! Never not even the beginning of the show!! It’s weapons and other ppl and how cool THEY are but HER intro is “Despite being so young when my mom left the thought of her death follows me All The Time teehee” LIKE SHE HAS NEVWR EVWR BEEN OK
Ruby has probably NEVER gotten to be Ruby. Her upbringing was, I hate to use this word but...it was tainted by Summer's ghost.
Yang did her best to give her a normal childhood but Summer was always there, Yang grieved for her, Tai shut down, I'm sure Qrow was full of stories about her and I'm sure the comparisons to her mother were always there.
And then she grew up, wound up being put in charge of a team years before she should have been, Told how exceptional she needed to be.
In V4 Weiss, Blake and Yang all had a chance to process their traumas, at least in part and re-discover themselves.
Ruby went on a quest but not of self-discovery but to seek justice.
Who is Ruby Rose?
I'm not sure even she has an answer.
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honestly been going back and forth w myself on a lot of things lately attaching a read more for the sake of ik i'll be rambling like theres no tmr
a part of me wants to drop pnc but i havent really gotten everyone i wanted yet + im broke so i need to build my stash up *looks at clotho and eos* oddly enough pnc has been a game ive been pretty happy on playing still hate how i missed a login day tho tbf ive rarely borderline never interacted w the fandom so me just being in the dark w what goes on there has kinda been a blessing and a curse in a sense that i can enjoy the game in peace but it feels like im alone doing so
pgr im really REALLY tempted on dropping my glb acc, once nocti comes around which will prob be around the end of the school yr for me thats where i'd be like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ welp ig im done and drop that acc after playing around w nocti and whatev. tw im still not too sure abt?? prob when i get around to lvling up my main teams i can be like ok im done and drop that at any time since im just there to experience content ahead of time without being in cn directly
before dropping pgr entirely i do wanna complete a few stuff i had in mind tho
countdown for hyperreal which will prob happen bambi patch
still need to finish that nocti countdown for tw ive barely had any motivation completing that
nocti's bday countdown (similar to how lee's went)
glb nocti's countdown
draw every char up to latest one in cn
a few noctiskk comics thats been in the back of my head for MONTHS now
basically LOTS of countdowns and nocti stuff before i drop everything entirely
will i still draw pgr stuff after all that? mayyybeee???? itll moreso be towards kye's lore building rather than it being a standalone thing. i'll still collect merch and build up my shrines and make cosplay for chars but aside from that i'm pretty much gonna be moving on to other things
ive always had 50/50 feelings w being in the pgr fandom, tho being introduced to it on disc and then going to twt may have affected my views on this whole thing. esp when the side of the fandom i was first introduced to is like the lowest of the low, i dont want to go back to a place where a bunch of dudebro incels made fun of me for being afab and liking lee and me thinking that was a norm when it clearly isnt. its been 2 goddamn yrs and theyre still poking fun at that?? like my god grow up im so sick and tired of it.
if by a slim chance i still want to participate in being in the pgr fandom i'll just go back to lurking like ive always done in prev fandoms, if i really wanna be active in talking abt the game i'll talk abt it in servers or dms, but publicly i felt that i could never really comfortably talk abt how i feel abt it aside from here cause this site >>>>>> bc i felt like my opinions arent valid, tho that really applies to anything i do so 💀💀
pgr has been a really nice game for me to destress and detach myself from reality for a bit, tho now i wanna move on to other games and focus more on my ocs like i did back in the day. once i properly set up everyone's lore doc maybe in the future i'll make a game around them, nothing too big since i'll pretty much be making most of it, but i kinda wanna fulfill my childhood dream that was just recently unlocked
theres also that small part of me that wants to be known for my oc stuff rather than pgr stuff, but bc im not tagging w popular art tags im kinda just existing, and thats fine by me. hitting 500+ follows on twt was like peak realization of me going like "oh shit, 😨 maybe this big of a following aint for me" and it truly isnt lol
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hi omg i just wanted to say that if u arent ok with me doing this u can tell me! i wont mind, and ill stop! i understand; i just showed up one day in ur inbox declaring myself a menace! just lmk!
but for now:
theo gives i wanna be yours, sweater weather, dont blame me, last friday night (kinda???) and heat waves vibes!
also hes exactly my type what-
hes tthe kind of guy to take you on long walks in the mountains, holding your hand the whole time. when you reach somewhere thats mostly empty, youll sit down and he'll tell u how beautiful you are between kisses.
i hate evryone but you>>>
LOVES WHEN YOU PLAY WITH HIS HAIR
would lowkey be turned on by you talking back wut-
like bully!sapnap, mixed with wilbur, but i can imagine him acctually being so sweet and kind in an attempt to distance himself from riddle family line
CHILDHOOD TRAUMA
him having a crush on you would honestly be so scary to him, because he's not used to wanting someone for all their perfects and all their flaws. he wants someone for their personality and their smile and laugh and that look of concentration on their face when they're concentrating. he doesnt want you for your body, he wants you for you, and thats new to him.
HIS MORNING VOICE AND SLEEPY VOICE OH MY LORD AGHHHHH
always flirts with u even tho ur dating
he cant stay mad at you fr too long 🥺🥺
hes honestly such a big baby-
he gets jealous rlly easily and hugs u from behind when he does :D
FOREHEAD KISSES GALORE
he needs you to tell him how much you love him <3
if youre sad, he lifts your chin with his index finger while kissing you and telling you how much he needs you
he loves hugs so much istg-
NSFW
my horny lil behbeh
loves when u sit on his lap
sweetheart, love, pretty, slut
hes one of em thigh guys
empty classroom and shower
speaking of which he loves bathing with you <3
"you'll be good for me, hmm sweatheart?"
loves seeing you vulnerable for him
traces his initials on your thighs with his fingers
plays with his rings while looking at you
constantly grabbing your hand
"pretty little slut"
and thats all i have!
• theo gives i wanna be yours, sweater weather, dont blame me, last friday nigh (kinda???) and heat waves vibes
guys who are i wanna be yours & don't blame me coded are so eheheheheheh and so attractive like GODDAMN.
• would lowkey be turned on by you talking back wut-
i feel so seen as someone who talks back to everyone and contradicts everything anyone says 😭
• he cant stay mad at you fr too long 🥺🥺
• he needs you to tell him how much you love him <3
this is something i need to see more of with 'i hate everyone but you' traumatised characters like,,, they're either so attached to you that they can't stand to be upset w you or they immediately distance themselves and almost cut ties bc it hurts to be upset w someone they love and trust
• empty classroom and shower
oh my lordy lord 😵💫😵💫
• constantly grabbing your hand
no bc holding hands is so overlooked even tho it's intimate and i- GAH i love it sm
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9 Fandom Peeps to Get to Know Better:
Thank u @troubled-mind for the tag!! I swear I didn’t forget to do it hahahah
3 ships you like:
Ok so I’ve technically done this tag before BUT I’m gonna take this chance to do 3 DIFFERENT ships from when I last did it hehehe
wei qian & wei zhiyuan - unknown
currently airing angsty Taiwanese bl my beloved. They’ve been on my brain all goddamn day. Ep6 was INCREDIBLE and I keep going back to rewatch parts. I can’t wait to see how their relationship develops and ahem.. certain scenes the cast has teased lol
hira & kiyoi - utsukushii kare
I never stop thinking about them. I have a literal whole paper I want to write about just One aspect of their relationship which I WILL COMPLETE one day. They have the perfect dynamic… they r so like hualian it’s insane (both ships unironically redefined my expectations in love forever). Utsukare is a masterclass on characterization imo and that makes it such a fantastically written romance. I’ve never related to a character sm as I have w hira so ummm if there’s any kiyoi’s out there.. hai <3
aylin & luna - 23.5 degrees
I have to put at least ONE of the 23.5 couples on here!! These girls r so catered to me… I can see myself in both of them in diff ways and I love it so much!!! This show is so sweet and I feel so lucky I get to experience it live
First ship ever:
I said this last time but I also don’t rlly remember… probably the doctor & rose lol. Maybe something from an old Nickelodeon/Cartoon Network show idk
Last song you heard:
youtube
NOCTURNE AND FIRE DANCE!!!! My lowkey all time favorite harp pieces. I CAN play this I just can never get a good recording so idk if it’ll ever see the light of day to those that don’t know me irl. It’s challenging in a fun way. Anyway I was just listening back to a full performance! (But aside from that I’ve had a few bl osts, mainly from unknown, on repeat lmao)
Favorite childhood book:
Maybe something like the 3 scary stories to tell the dark series? Or miss peregrine’s home for peculiar children? I liked scary stuff
Currently reading:
……….yes I am still in my tgcf reread. But I haven’t had time bc I’ve always had other stuff to do 💔 I have a few other books I need to get to as well…
Currently watching:
Anti reset, unknown, 23.5 degrees, love is better the second time around, and the miracle of teddy bear (+ a few things that are on hold I guess. And I’ll start jazz for two tomorrow once it airs)
Currently consuming:
Nothing! But I had chicken soup earlier and it was v healing :P
Currently craving:
A rested night’s sleep lol
Tagging: aaahh not sure who’s done this but @sailub @universe-club @sunsfancyscooter @grapejuicegay here’s a tag if u haven’t yet & want to lol
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How the Batboys View Food (HCs)
(A/N: BIG OL TRIGGER WARNING. I’ve been writing other stuff on other blogs but I wanted you to dump this here cause writer is struggling with food :3 and I see a lot of ways that the batboys could have the same mindsets. So this is a lot of me projecting but also just drabbling. Pretty angsty I guess in some parts, enjoy. If you’re struggling with eating or self-image, feel free to reach out to me bb, my dms are open <3)
TRIGGER WARNINGS: eating disorders, unhealthy views of food, anxiety, food insecurity, angst, writer lowkey projecting, this shit is probably VERY decently triggering so be warned please please please, my feelings will not be hurt if you skip
Let me reiterate that THESE ARE NOT HEALTHY VIEWS OF FOOD. Many of the thoughts portrayed are HOW THEY THINK of food, not ways you SHOULD or COULD think of food. It’s cathartic to see them through the light of my own issues, I wanted to share. Love you all.
————————
Bruce Wayne
Probably one of the healthiest views of food
He grew up without ever having food insecurity AT ALL bc he’s so so rich
But he has been starving before when he worked with the League of Shadows, which means he knows the feeling.
All it is is unpleasant to him, though
He’s trained to be able to deal with it, so I think Alfred definitely has to make sure he’s eating
But he’s not doing it on purpose.
He understands EDs, and he takes them super seriously, but he’s never struggled with that, really.
He might go through phases of body dysmorphia because of wanting to be as physically adept as he can be, but I don’t think that would have to do with restricting food very much.
Again, Alfred lets him know when he’s doing too much
I think he likes good food, but he’s been so spoiled in that sense that it’s not really a big priority to him
Dick Grayson
Writer projecting on Dick Grayson pt 1/many
Ok so Dick was raised in the circus, being a child athlete (acrobat)
Obviously his parents were super wholesome, they weren’t much of a root of any problem
But having comments on your physical performance, being stuck in a tight ass leotard, thinking so much about your body at a young age, all of these lead to some type of problems.
Writer is 100% not projecting their ballet childhood
Poor little Dick watched the Strongman talk about his food intake and protein and calories and he thought “wow, I should do that to be strong too”
Cue guilt around food
Dick sees food, at least for the first part of his life, as an obstacle
The less he can get of it, the more strong he can be
He kind of sees it as something to be counted, measured (Dick is wrong, reader, eat your burger and enjoy it >:()
He doesn’t actually starve himself to a point that he starts to get skinny, but he restricts himself to have peak performance
It’s just that his mindset about it is so bad
One time Alfred cooks dinner and Dick is having a bad day (Robin or young Nightwing days). He steps in and just-
“… I had a burger for lunch” said Dick, looking frozen in place.
Bruce just chuckles, not noticing his discomfort. “Hey, that’s fine. You can jog it off tomorrow. Plus, you could do to put some weight on, yknow?”
“No, I… I can’t. I’m at my limit. I wasn’t gonna eat dinner,” Dick tries to explain, picking at his thumb nervously.
“… What do you mean your limit?”
“I uh… diet” Dick says, though his heart is quickening.
…
“Are you counting calories, Dick?”
Long conversation ensues
That might be super ooc, you get the idea
Bruce does not STAND for it
Dick recovers while Jason’s a kid.
He might have a relapse when Jason dies, just out of grief
But he gets over it
He can’t ever get rid of that voice that tells him that what he’s consuming is numbers
But he’s started fostering one that tells him how delicious that goddamn hotdog is, which is pretty cool
Jason Todd
Poor baby :((((
He grew up poor, so food insecurity was probably definitely present
Plus his mom wasn’t super into taking care of his needs
So he grew to subconsciously see food as fuel, but in a less healthy way.
He learned to measure how much he was able to run on, what gave him the most energy rather than what was good for him or tasty
All of this was for survival until he showed up at the manor
At first he was ecstatic about having more food security
And he was never one to turn down food
But out of habit he kind of never got food for himself on purpose unless he REALLY needed it
The type of kid to say “but I don’t need lunch, I had breakfast.”
Which is valid in some cases depending on whatever, but the subconscious thing that was nagging him was the small fear that still lived in him of someday not being able to live in that same security he’s grown to know
Bruce has to make sure he eats, because he’ll always eat what he’s offered without a second thought. He just won’t feed himself
Jason is 100% convinced he’s fine, he just doesn’t need it.
He does, in fact, need three meals a day with his highly active twelve year old boy self smh
When he comes back as Red Hood, he still kind of carries that with him, but he’s more willing to eat now.
I think dying kind of made him realize that he doesn’t want to miss out on anything or hold himself back
Plus he has a lot more muscle to feed now
If it makes sense, he just kind of doesn’t think of food much at all now
Much like Bruce
Tim Drake
Ugly sobbing :3
Writer projecting pt 2
Tim, Tim, Tim, neglected Tim :(
He views food very much as something earned
He enjoys his junk food or whatever, but he feels like if he’s not doing good enough he doesn’t deserve to eat at all
Nervous wreck he is, this happens often
Doesn’t do well on a mission? No dinner.
Not doing well in a class? Not eating till he fixes that grade.
Bruce finds out and almost passes out cause WHY ARE ALL THESE KIDS HAVING THESE ISSUES
It’s because writer is projecting, sorry Bruce
Bruce helps him through it a lot
Cheat code: if you go through a significant amount of effort to make him food he can’t turn it down
Or if you buy it for him
It’s an anxiety and bargaining thing for him, but he’s a tough boy he gets thru it 💪💪💪
Damian Wayne
Hot take but the league actually has pretty healthy standards on eating
They need to be efficient, yeah, but they recognize that to do that they need FOOD
He might be a little skittish around like processed food or new foods though
Has a thing for texture
Overall one of the healthier views on it though, and everyone else is watching him like a hawk to make sure it fucking stays that way
#tw ed diet#tw ed but not sheeran#tw ana trigger#tw food#dick grayson#bruce wayne#jason todd#tim drake#damian wayne#batfam#batboys#angst#dc
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Is it normal to be like, oh I have to get my shit together before I come out or all of my shitty family members are gonna use me as proof that only mentally ill fuckups are gay? Like, dude, I promise my being a mentally ill fuckup and my being a lesbian are related, but like, the other way around
When you learn from a young age that you are Bad and Wrong and an inherently evil and unlovable flavor of human and you keep it a closely guarded secret bc if it gets out then no one will love you, you develop some issues ok? Leave me alone
I don't need my grandma prescribing me herbal supplements to "fix" me, when I was like 6 she got in an argument with my dad where she claimed that gay people had been sent by Satan to destroy her country and her church and and when she tucked me in that night I remember thinking that she could never love me. I was a broken toy, and she just didn't know it yet
I remember how rabid the church was about Prop 8. My dad was a law professor and the misinformation (will make being Mormon illegal, will force gay marriage into temples, etc) really pissed him off but I remember how into it everyone was. How virulently homophobic they felt comfortable being, with me right there. And I was only a kid
I'm not 6 anymore. I'm more secure in myself and I understand the world better, but those old wounds cut deep. I cried myself to sleep for years partially because I was scared that my parents knew and that they didn't love me, because I was a fuckup on an inherent untouchable level and I wasn't worth their time
I think the mood disorder I inherited, plus my gay religious trauma, plus my clusterfuck childhood grants me one (1) being a fuckup pass, thank you very much
But the thing is - My stepdad is anti gay marriage (because he's a goddamn moron, a literal flat earther who has had maybe one original critical thought in his whole life) and I don't really care that much what he thinks of me but he does have influence over my mom. And I guess I'm just worried she's gonna choose him over me. I don't know if she would. I don't think she knows either
It took me years to convince myself that I was being irrational when I was scared that my parents didn't love me. But mom's been dodging a lot of questions lately, which is concerning bc she can't lie to me and she knows it. I think she's chameleoning to whichever of us is closest right now but she's gotta pick a side eventually. I'm really close to my mom, I have been for a long time, and if that goes sideways it's gonna be awful
Maybe I was right not to ever tell anyone, and maybe grandma was right when she said "people like that" weren't welcome in her family and maybe 6 year old me was onto something when she cried herself to sleep and maybe I wasn't being irrational when I worried my mom doesn't actually love me
Or maybe I'm off my meds fucking whatever
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my wife my life, i have ojv brainrot -- will you please go into crazy amount of detail about what the style boys look like to you in the ojv? what kind of outfits they like to wear? comfort sweaters/shirts? <3 also i love you i am waving $50s and shouting louder than everyone else to be noticed i'm the ride or die bi disaster ojc kenny of the irl
ASHFVGKKVHLJK MY DARLING WIFE HI AND FUCK YEAH!!!!! Helllll yes!!! Ok ok I’m bouta go *rm Jersey voice* AWF!! (This is gonna be so long im sorry)
So OrangeJuiceVerse style my BELOVEDS!!! Ohhhhh my god these two own my entire goddamn soul! And smh they’re so pretty in their own right!!!
OJV Stan… he is a fucking stereotypical DREAM MAN! Kyle is down astronomically bad. Like I’m talkin tall dark and handsome, total sweetheart, inherently boyish charm that just makes everyone adore him! His heart of gold and that deep melancholy he sometimes gets behind those sapphire eyes make him all the more alluring! So this is what our affable Everyman looks like to me:
He is TALL (hit his last growth spurt between sophomore and junior year), like tops off at a lil over 6’2 and is the second tallest of the ojverse Star Seven also he’s BUILT AS HELL?!? In high school his physique could be attributed to the myriad of physically demanding hobbies he cycled through (football in particular when he started dreaming of going pro rip to that) and work on Randy’s Fuckass Farm (fuck u randy). But when he’s older he gets softer, sure (best pillow ever) but keeps working out JUST so he can hold every animal ever like a BABY!!! If you want an approximate art reference of young adult OJV Stan, @bunytime ’s drawings on here for SURE! Like he is tall and strong and BUILT FOR HUGS!!!
Blue blue BLUE eyes like not scary stare into your soul but this soft deep shade that reminds you of calm waters and gemstones peeking from the depths of the shadows of his brows. Just gentle waves and clear dusk light.
Ojv Stan didn’t go through the ever popular bleached hair headcanon, most of my Stans didn’t, but this one bc on the brink of a SadSack episode he mentioned getting Kenny to pierce his ears and dye his hair and (this was before they were dating) Kyle was like NO!!! Bc he always loved Stan’s classic all american look and knows him well enough to know that he would’ve hated it a few days later.
DIMPLES!! TWO OF EM!! And his smile is SO sweet his whole face splits omg my sweet boy!!! And he has tiny, almost imperceptible random scars in various places from childhood tomfoolery, especially on his hands bc he sometimes rivals Kenny in recklessness, and those hands are so rough but so TENDER when they touch you and he’s so aware of his own size and inherent ruggedness that completely juxtaposes his personality and it’s so!!! (God forgive me I’m thinking about nsfw ojv style hcs now)
Aight so OJV Stan IS greasy to some extent, c’mon he’s very Boy, but (this is important) only when he’s having a rough time mentally. Like he’s one of those people where while his horrendous lack of style doesn’t change much, you can tell by the stubble and the gross hair when he’s not doing well. Uhhh later down the timeline he has a beard tho. The bear jokes definitely emerge.
And for his style choices ohhhhh my god this man CANNOT fuckin dress!!! I’m constantly putting ojverse Stan in my clothes bc WHAT is this guy doing wearing the “Bigfoot is real I made s’mores with him” shirt and he is GENUINELY confused when he can’t wear jeans to something formal. His socks are STUPID and GIMMICKY and never match, and his wallet has a million keychains HIS BACKPACK omg like every stereotypical veggie boy he has alll the vegan loser pins and patches. Animal activist Stan forever.
A very casual dresser tbh, t shirts and jeans, sweatpants, hoodies (that have mostly been confiscated by Kyle) like he truly sucks at clothes unless he’s going stupid abt a Halloween costume. He kinda relies on Ky to know what looks good on him irl, bc Kyle is VERY reactive when he’s dressed a certain way and Kyle climbing him= ah yes I look Not Disheveled right to jail for both of them.
Oh KYLE!!! From Stan’s pov??? OJV Stan is a huge fucking fantasy loser and he only knows the word “ethereal” bc he’s a nerd and it describes Kyle. On GOD OJV Kyle is so pretty!!! Like Stanley Down Bad Marsh is ENTHRALLED!!! Always, like since he knew what beauty was, beauty was Kyle.
Ojverse Kyle keeps his hair a little past his shoulders since like freshman year of high school, his HAIRRRRR lord those gorgeous red curls, Stan simply cannot get enough of them, that ponytail, the half bun, the little braids Marj used to do when she and Ky would hang solo… dear god Stan will not shut up about his beautiful elf kings hair. Like hair wise if u want a reference picture the homie @grimsbane ‘s long hair Kyle EXEPT
My guy, OJV Kyle is TINY. Not as short as Kenny and Tweek, but close and definitely skinny to the point where if he misses a meal EVERYONE is on his bony ass bc 1) diabetes and 2) they all know his past with eds and no one’s gonna let that shit get its claws on him again! Unfortunately, OJV Kyle has a really hard time gaining weight, but as an adult he’s fully recovered, just kinda slim and at risk of health problems from the damage he did, but he’s mostly ok.
Ky topped off at 5’7 and was the tallest of the m5 in 7th grade and then EVERYONE but Kenny surpassed him WHICH he was pissed abt for a while. But he kinda stopped caring once he and Stan got together bc Stan wasn’t thattt much taller at first (and then this mf got huge) but Kyle was… VERY INTO THAT! It’s so unserious bc when they’re older Kyle’s like dude just fuckin toss me around and Stan WILL NOT because he’s NERVOUS and also traumatized from the ONE time he reinjured Kyle’s bad knee during Super Best Spicy Time (yes that’s what his loser ass named the sex playlist) but when Ky gets in the mood he wants to be manhandled frfr (I will do a nsfw headcanon post prolly) like the SIZE DIFFERENCE kyle is so spicy 100% calls the shots out here climbin Staniel like a tree.
He’s pale as fuck, cannot tan at allll this dude will not go outside without sunscreen bc he IS Sheila’s son and had it drilled into him that they are pale redheads and uv rays are not their friend, BUT his freckles are faint and so prettttttyyyyy he doesn’t even hate them bc Stan loves them and Kyle loves Stan (losers) he’s got a little group of them on his left cheekbone that Stan INSISTS looks like a heart aaaaaaaaaa
Good lord those eyes. Like you look into them and you are LOST in the most beautiful woods you have ever SEEN!!! I’m serious his eyes look like a forest, green and threaded with occasional brown like tree trunks and they are MAGNETIC!!! He is POINTY too like his features are sharp but his eyes are comfortable and it’s just a beautiful balance.
I’m fully of the belief that this lil redhead is a CHRONIC CLOTHES STEALER!!! Sneaky lil fox like if he’s comfy at home he’s 100% wearing Stan’s lame ass “earth day 2013” hoodie or some shit BUT!!!
His actual clothing is VERY much hot professional dark academia vibes the sweaters, the reading glasses, that hair, like he’s so cute in his button ups and when he stops wearing cargo pants so much in college (man likes pockets change my mind) Stan is SALIVATING bc he can see the sbf’s lithe legs better and he wants to SNAG him smh down horrendous. Kyle wears a lotta green, bc we ginger losers know that’s our COLOR and he looks GORGEOUS in jewel tones what a PRETTY BOY!!! Favorite item of clothing is DEFINITELY Stan’s Peace Love Pine Trees hoodie!!!
They do have friendship (lovers) bracelets that Kenny made them btw
Ok I THINK that’s what I got for now on what they look like but lord knows I’ll probably be more insane later NINA MY BELOVED WIFE THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS
#south park#sp headcanons#asks#this made me so happy#style#them#ao3 shit#my shit#OrangeJuiceVerse#stan marsh#lmm voice: look at my son#kyle brovlofski#look at this I learned something today ass bitch#ojv
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[Magi reread] Night 36: The Fog Troupe
This deserves to be here. Look at him go.
I might be overthinking it, but it resembles Amon's silhouette.
Heh. Fire Demon.
Y'know. Bc the djinns are based on demons from The Lesser Key of Solomon? Ha? Ok, I'll just shut up.
Alibaba should be given more chances to actually look hot. Like, bro.
You know? Fair.
Oh, so that's what happened. Yea, having Amon gave them a better chance at escaping, so they could absolutely get more bold. And associating the Fog Troupe with a guy that can summon a FIre Tornado... Yea, very understandable freakout.
"reduced to a thief" shut the fuck up.
Oh, yeah, definitely Cassim's idea.
Also, what's your problem with thieves? Your goddamn adviser is an ex-assassin, but a THIEF is too much? Didn't you also condone stealing like a chapter or two ago? With these starving people? But NOW it's a problem?
So, I don't want to write a tw again, but in very short, the SML Brothers saved a woman from being SA'ed, so I guess they're relatively decent. Well, slavery is ok, but they draw the line here, I guess.
Oh, finally, the Fan problem addressed.
Overall, lot's of talking abt how things are going. Short answer: bad. "This country has no gold currency left."
Sus person, and then the meeting. Also, holy shit, look at Alibaba at the top. He's literally drawn in a way like he's shining there. I wonder how that building looks, is there a hole/window at the top? Was it just for aesthetic reasons that Ohtaka made it look like this, or was it also part of whatever the fuck Cassim was trying to achieve? In this case, same as before - look at Alibaba, all of you. Look at him, and not the person controlling him from the shadows.
Ughhh. That bitch.
It's a threat. As in, the three are absolutely threatening them, I just feel it, y'know? It's, like, a challenge. You sure want to try us? And anyway, Cassim looks almost friendly, and Alibaba looks menacing, which we know they neither actually is. Though, to be fair, as long as they aren't nobles, Cassim might look at them a little more favorably, so, honestly, they might not be threatening them. But it still feels like a threat. But, like, maybe I'm biased, maybe it isn't...
Anyway, this is how my brain works, heh
Alibaba can be scary when he tries to.
I don't know, it's kinda funny that they'll later end up helping Alibaba out just because. Like, I genuinely don't remember when did their attitude change. I'm genuinely curious.
THERE IT IS. We find out SO EARLY that Alibaba's just following Cassim, but I'll have you one better soon.
No, he's not.
Like, I had to put them all for photo limit reasons, but also bc of how damn important all of it is. We find out SO EARLY that Cassim is emotionally manipulating Alibaba. Where do I even begin in all of this!
Cassim is an insane character. As in, it's the type you hate for 98% of the arc, and then you fucking cry for him, and these early moments always remind me WHY you start off by hating the guy. He's using their shared past to keep Alibaba around, to have him lie and do what Cassim tells him to do. He speaks about the children, he appeals to Alibaba and his own childhood, and Alibaba's a deeply empathetic person, of course it works. Then he makes a point that it has to be Alibaba who helps them, nobody else. And even guilt trips him numerous times in the conversation. You're the one who left (you abandoned us, chose royalty over family), make sure these children won't die like my (our) sister (you weren't there when that happened, you did NOTHING, even though you were in the palace). I BEG you, stay with me and let's fight together like we used to (you are the one who wants to stay, so I'll let you, but only if you help me).
Like, god. it was intense. And the worst part is - Alibaba knows. He knows that Cassim is manipulating him, and he knows that their current relationship is dangerously conditional. If he doesn't do what Cassim tells him to do, he'll be kicked out at best, and then what? Then he'll be alone, and what about Balbadd? What about these children? What can he do, then? Cassim's the idea person, he's always been the one in charge between the two of them. How can he help Balbadd without Cassim?
All of this is so painful, man. Have some Alibaba failing to smoke.
Bro, don't worry, it's healthier that way.
Bro, I'm so sad ;_;
: (
Lmao.
Scary.
This is still hilarious.
Ouch
I still wonder what the hell is his scent.
He looks so sad, actually.
Man, he's such an emotional wreck this entire arc, god.
You know, I absolutely support your judgement Morgiana, but also, sometimes people don't want to talk about things.
It's a semi-joke, Morgiana wouldn't be prying if there was no good reason for it.
Aaaand, the image limit, of course, so we're skipping Alibaba being sexist. Tho, to be fair, it sounded like his last resort argument, shitty as it was, and Morgiana justifiably just looked at him. Dunno, I always wonder how serious Alibaba's sexism is, because, frankly, it appears... maybe three times? Also, twice towards Morgiana, and one towards Toto in some extra. Actually, maybe four, but it's 3 with Morgiana, then. It's actually my bone to pick with their relationship (well, one of many), because as much as I love Alibaba, and I am mostly indifferent to Morgiana, I don't like the way Ohtaka makes him treat her at times, and I think she deserves better. And it's just so weird, he doesn't treat Kougyoku like that, for example. It's not like it's something about strong women, because Kougyoku could beat his ass for sure... and also he actually finds Morgiana & her strength awesome. I dunno. It'll probably take me some time to figure out my thoughts about it. Idk, it might be something internalized (given the period they live in, it's a possibility), or maybe he's just repeating after people... actually, now that I'm thinking, his wording sounded like something Sinbad would've said, ngl, and Sinbad is kinda sexist, so maybe it's all connected... How much does he mean it, though? Idk, I'm thinking abt that scene in the Final Arc after they argued (eh, we'll get there), and how he's like I won't apologize to a woman (which is weird, bc he apologized to Kougyoku earlier that arc, my mind tells me it happened twice, but I'm not sure - at least once for not telling her about Zepar), but when Morgiana gets there they both apologize, so he isn't actually "above apologizing to a woman", it's more like he was searching for an excuse, and chose the simplest option... and then didn't even follow on what he'd himself said. So, like, he's saying sexist stuff at times, but doesn't actually believe it???? Maybe???? I don't fucking know, man.
I deleted some earlier photo to fit in this one, bc it's hilarious. Morgiana takes none of this bullshit. And I find Alibaba's face when she grabs him adorable. I mean, in the last panel it's funny & cute, too.
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came with the intent to say why would you say my tranny femboy dana scully post is 12k worthy. here now to ask what you think of majoras mask...
because "unfortunately thats dana scully of the x files" is one of the funniest possible responses to a message like that. its like the verbal equivalent of getting hit in the head with a frying pan
anyways i. erghhfhfhdf. ok short answer: its a good game with a fascinating backstory as to how and why it was made and its amazing that it even exists the way it does w everything that happened with making it. i love its sort of black-sheep status in the series; its one of the few games with no zelda, no master sword, no ganon(dorf), no triforce, none of that, and its all the better for it. and! so many aspects of that game are just... haunting!! the mask transformations? the way the clock town theme slowly warps into something more and more foreboding until its barely recognizable anymore? the goddamn storylines tucked away in that thing?? SKULLKID'S ENTIRE BACKSTORY??? its the "legend of zelda game but dark" concept done right unlike. other notable games in the series. and i adore it in so, so many ways for that. majoras mask good :)
Long answer (aka every shitty game theorist who has said that majoras mask is about link being dead personally owes me 20 dollars and heres why):
majoras mask is the most thematic game in the series and it expands upon the story ocarina of time gave us in the most compelling ways imaginable and i doubt we'll ever see nintendo (let alone aonuma/miyamoto) make something like that ever again. hang on let me explain what i mean
so. ocarina of time starts link out as this kid in the forest, who has grown up thinking shes going to be a child forever bc the kokiri are ageless forest kids and she is too, right? but shes. different. shes different in a way no one can really place, but they treat her differently anyway because theyre kids and what else are they going to do. so shes ostracized, but its ok bc shes safe and shes happy and she has friends, like saria. and then! she finally gets a fairy! a right of passage for any kokiri, something shes lacked all these years!
and fairies have some important lore that kinda matters here. in OoT, having a fairy prevents ppl from becoming Lost in the lost woods. if they r an adult and go in w/o one they become a stalfos and if theyre a kid they become a skullkid. this is why, in game, link can still enter kokiri forest as an adult-- because she has navi with her. remember this.
anyways, long story short, all of OoT happens, right? links a child whos grabbing the spiritual stones for a princess zelda whos powerless in her current state and is grasping at any means of salvation she can, even in the form of strange kids from the woods. and but link fails, zelda fails, ganondorf wins and link runs to the temple of time because shes a kid and all she knows is my friend is gone and she told me this would help her, and she places the stones and sees the master sword and she has to stand on the pedestal just to be able to pull it out bc shes just that small--
and then, suddenly, she isnt small.
whoever told her she was a kokiri lied, because shes definitely not ageless like all of her friends were-- like she was supposed to be.
shes an adult. or thats what they all say she is-- she may be taller and stronger and more capable, but shes still a child in every way that matters. shes still inexperienced and powerless and so, so scared, but she does what shes told because the adults are always right, right? thats why they put her to sleep, right? thats why she has to watch (facilitate) as each of her friends and companions from her childhood-- impa, ruto, darunia, saria-- all be lost to this greater destiny that she herself was forced into long before she knew to question the adults in the room.
and she defeats ganondorf. she does it. she saves a future she will never get to live in, and is sent back to make sure that future never has to happen. and in doing so... no one knows anything shes done. no one knows everything she sacrificed to save hyrule. shes a hero no one will ever remember.
but shes back home now, shes a kid again, she can go back to the forest now!
except she cant, because navi-- the key to going back to that forest where childhood is neverending and impenetreble (and, more importantly, links goddamn best friend, who is the only one who knows all of what shes gone through)-- just. Leaves. she disappears at the end of the game. a lot of ppl have argued why navi leaves but i think its symbolic more than anything else, yk?? like. you cannot go back to how things were. you cannot pretend like you have the innocence you once did when you know it was taken from you. you are a child in an adults body and an adult in a childs body and both of those are true simultaneously because no matter what, you can never go back to how you were before you placed your hands on that sword.
but link doesnt get that. shes seen so much, but shes still ten, and all she knows is my friend is gone and i want her back. funny how that sentiment always persists with this character huh
so she goes searching. and she ends up in termina, in a world that loops over and over again, always on the brink of destruction, always just a little too far from saving. but its a timeloop of her own making! because she cant just let these people die-- she cant just let herself die, not now-- so she plays the song of time on the ocarina an old friend gave her, and she keeps termina alive, if in stasis. and shes picking up these masks that, when she puts them on, subject her to all of that persons memories, and transforms her into something almost unrecognizable (but this link is no stranger to sudden, life shattering transformations). and its no wonder she reacts the way she does!! but like. that sort of thing has to make you reflect, right? sure theres bound to be a lot of bad shit in anyones life, but theres also likely to be a lot of love and happiness and calm-- a calm that would be absolutely foreign to the hero of time at this point. itd certainly put your own life into perspective, at least.
and like. you would think, after going through all that shit in hyrule, that being in a timeloop would probably. not matter that much to her. i mean, all she has to do is get majoras mask and she can leave. but thats not how the game is structured.
no, the game is built to where the best possible option to finishing the final boss is to help everyone. to listen to their stories, to provide whatever assistance you can, to genuinely care for them and show them compassion-- even if they wont remember you after that third day hits yet again. the only way to get the fierce deity mask-- which is like. yk. best item in the game basically-- is to trade all 20 masks to the moon children, which you can only get if you made the effort to help Everyone in termina. EVEN the """"villain."""" omg hang on heres a tangent within a tangent;
skullkid is super interesting bc hes like. hes a lot like link but also not. both underwent horrific, unwanted transformations because some surrounding circumstance forced them to leave their homes and enter unfamiliar places, and both are. probably not handling that very well. and both are being exploited by higher powers (link by hylia, skullkid by majora) to do someone elses bidding as CHILDREN!! but theyre placed at opposing ends, until they. arent! and they kind of become friends once majoras taken care of!! idk skullkid is like. maybe the idea of wht happens when you dont move on and keep chasing a pre-traumitized existence ithink but im not sure idk enough about him to dive into that just know that i think hes neat and hes a vv interesting comparison to link here. did u kno that he'll attack you in oot if you try to talk to him as an adult. what has that kid been through good leord anyways
SO like. thats what i think majoras mask is at its core. we can talk about where the mask came from, or if termina is even real, or who the fierce deity was, but i dont think that really. matters. i think that majoras mask is a test of sorts for the hero of time, to teach her the wisdom that she lacked when navi left.
because yes, you will not be remembered in this time for the hell you went through. you will not be able to go home ever again. you are in this world now, with all its dangers and fears and hopelessness, and there is no getting out. searching for navi is (symbolically!) pointless because shes not coming back, and therefore youre never going back to what you see as normal. but majoras mask looks at all that shit, and it says "yes. yes, this world is scary, and itd be so nice to pretend like theres a way to return to that state of being before we realized it was the way it was. but we cant, and the answer to that isnt to search for how we can go back, but to find purpose in a world that bears down on all of us. to show people kindness even if they wont remember you, even if youll reset this world once again, because the kindness itself is reason enough. there is reason to continue being the hero. there are things to live for, even in a world that loops on end forever." termina is a small scale recreation of the hyrule link is about to enter-- a world where no one remembers your kindess, a world always on the brink on destruction, a world that keeps you going back and back and back and back and never forwards, not until you can do the right thing and save everybody. but it shows her that its all still worth it! all of it! even now!!!
and i think that thats why link was in termina at all. everyone had used her as a weapon her entire life until she fulfilled her supposed purpose, and im sure she was bitter and angry and lost (as any person would rightfully be!!) and termina was like. a well needed reminder of what matters in this world. when we see link riding away on epona at the end of the game, i dont think shes continuing her search for navi. not really.
i think shes going to move on.
anyways. majoras mask is very good and i am so so sooo glad they ended the hero of times story there and did not bring that character back in any future titles whatsoever :)
#i think oot link is transfem and only rlly uses he out of necessity hence the she/her'ing of her here.#oot links story is very obviously about childhood innocence ripped away too soon and how painful growing up can be when its forced upon u#but idk. she can be a teensy bit of a transgender allegory too i think. as a treat#'uaaagh the links are all too similar its hard to tell which one ur talking abouttt' not if u fuck around w their genders theyre not#good god this was long and probably not very well conveyed. to be fair my bio Did warn you lmao
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Some of the things that made me 🤌feel something✨ in Stranger Things s4 that definitely weren't supposed to: (kinda began to rant/ramble, but im funny so you should still read it)
- as a part of the "I watch everything with subtitles" gang, the amount of goofy description subtitles is bonkers. In a good way- i, too, would describe that sound as squelching, but that, like, implies wetness? Must one put "squelches wetly" ??? Also, the amount of "eldritch" as a descriptor. Jeez. You know you can say "weird", "sinister", or "ghastly", right? I mean, ok, sinister is used. But like yo. My favorite subtitle has been "eldritch thrumming".
- Henry/Vecna/One/Orderly's timeline. (More below cut)
I dont know how old we're assuming he is, since I haven't finished episode 9 (ITS TWO HOURS AND FUCKING 22 MINUTES THAT IS SO GODDAMN FUCKING ABSURD) so idk if there's been clarity but like. One looks not a day over 25 in 1983 which is when I assume El escapes the lab. But Jamie was probably 28-31 when filming the show, since he's 33, as of when I searched him last night. And Two looks MAAAAAYbe fuckn 17, more likely 14/15. So like. How old was Henry when he committed the murders, how old was he when he became One, how old was he when he became an orderly instead, how old was he when he became Vecna??? EXPLAIN TO ME.
- while I'm thinking about it. This . Is a goddamn. Television show. Right? I grew up in the golden days (everyone romanticized their childhood experiences, im no exception, yes this is a huge generalization and recognize for yourself if you agree with this and please just let me continue, im feeling cynical toward myself) where something called Television (or TV) shows had seasons of about 20 episodes at least, and each episode was anywhere between 20-45 minutes. And. It worked great. Sure, without commercials, you have to fill a whole half/full hour of content, but like. Tv shows these days... I dont remember the last one I watched that was from these days that was longer than 10 episodes, if it even reached that! If each fucking episode of ST had an outrageous budget of like 3something MILLION dollars....... don't u think u could. Chop it up a little bit. ? Each episode is literally already episodic. Plenty of places to cut and make a new episode. Is it because you're afraid of losing attention? Babes, i wouldn't have even watched the show if it hadn't been for an edit of the characters. Sure, maybe im in the minority. But like. God, this show is so fucking long. I've already watched 10 hrs of content for a TV show and you're asking me to spend 2:22 hrs more??????????? Bruh. Split that shit into at least 2 episodes. What.
- this is kinda at fandom, kinda at the d bros- I was led to believe Eddie was in this show waaaaay more than he actually is. He's. Hes barely in this show, and he's certainly not as interesting as im led to believe. Nor is Robin, but that's for another point. Well actually,
- the script does not do right by Robin and Eddie. I believe they are played by good actors! I have no reason to not believe that. Theyre putting their hearts into their jobs here, so props to Maya and Joe. But like. They have the weakest, most obviously quippy lines that simply aren't delivered well. Robin seems to be an afterthought even if a lot of her storyline is kinda spotlit. Honestly, thats the most well done part of her character, and I hate to say that, bc queer people are more than our love lifes or lack thereof! But the rest of her outside wanting to be with a girl is made to be this typical against the grain ~girl~ who doesn't like feminine clothes and can't walk in heels, etc. She feels like all the cliches of a typical anti-main girl and put lesbian on top as a cherry. It just feels weak and like a little over the top. To be clear, I'm not saying she shouldn't be a lesbian. Also, I understand that I wasn't around in the 80s, and I dont know what someone had to do to be obvious to other queers but not obvious to non-queers. But it feels like a disservice or not as well done as it could be. And Eddie... kinda has the same amalgamation of pile of labels. Metal head, dnd dm, guitarist, has charisma but will run at the first sign of danger, also a fan favorite of queer fans (possibly projecting). There's more to each of these characters, but it feels like they, with all this potential, max out the space theyre in and one of them (if theyre in the same scene) has to be chosen over the other. Its just a disservice. It really isn't even a surprise to me, as we close out episode 8, that Eddie doesn't matter ultimately to the story except to be a sacrifice. Theres not growth or development beyond him deciding to not run anymore. Joe's voice may be music, but the lines that seem most genuine to Eddie are improvised rather than written. Which is not !!!!! A!!!!! Good!!!! Sign!!! *sigh*. Anyway I think im done about them. They just feel like they take up as much space as they can and are still flat. They have lots of facets as interesting character with the potential to be more, but either the performances of the written script or the boundaries of it limit people I imagine could actually be pretty fucking good.
- maybe its because I never have, but like, my god, I dont care about the adults storyline. Since season 1, I have skipped nearly every scene for the adults, simply because I could not bother. Part of the reason I started s4 was for the actor of Anatov- I think this actor is neat and I've liked his other two characters I've seen (from Game of Thrones and Jack Ryan). So hearing that he was in s4 was cool, but since he's attached to Hopper's storyline, its hard to really give a shit. Also, his directing and line delivery hasn't been very great. His physical choices made... I feel like they are unrealistic? I just. I like him because I like the actor and I like that he isn't a total dick, but I also don't care to worry about Hopper's storyline, so I dont watch it much. When the stakes are low, I wish they weren't made out to be life or death when Hopper just needs to figure out his development without getting to do a lot of action, and you're golden, and dont need to watch any more. Sure, its neat, but I know that Hopper and Joyce and Murray are gonna be fine, so like.... whats the point. You're not making me care any more about these characters. Altho Murray is indeed funny as hell, God bless.
- I do love the music and score of this season. Its very in tuned with itself, it knows what stranger things sounds like. And so that remix of the Journey song at the end of episode 8 was 1000% a banger and so cool because already its a cinematic, iconic song, but then you mix it to fit better with your over-arching shows score and. God, it sounds so cool!!!!
- steve and Eddie's dynamic. Fandom does exaggerate their relationship a little bit, but not really in a way thats too far-reaching. I think, mostly, that the duffer bros were too scared or didn't even think to see it as queer, even if Joe was exuding charm from his pores and confirming with fans that he was being a little flirty. Now, of course, it may have partially been a lie to appease fans and audiences. But like also. I see where people are putting on their "I see gay" goggles. Maybe I pause the show too much to laugh or ramble frustratedly at the content, but its. Idk. Not really what I see.
Ultimately, I probably harmed my own viewing experience with my decision to see the show as like. Entertainment because its already bad, not really giving much room to be impressed or emotionally influenced. Or maybe I'm just feeling cynical today. Don't know. Either way, par for the course, im disappointed in a show I dont really care that much about. Is that more commentary on me, or culture saying "oh its popular you HAVE to watch it", or my falling into fomo or just wanting to watch something to feel anyrhing..... idk. Hopefully the finale is interesting. I'll probably watch most of it- even the adult storyline scenes.
But I dont have much hope or grace left for it.
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Killing Stalking
Yes. I finally picked this series up. Well, I say that but I think I read this years ago and just blocked it out of my memory because I was absolutely not in the right place to have read it.
But.
Hear me out. This was such a good series.
The emotional rollercoaster it puts you on is insane. Koogi is such an excellent author, I cannot believe I was able to grow to sympathize with Sangwoo's character.
We meet an older man named Yoon Bum, who's awkward, gloomy, and strangely obsessed with our male lead, Sangwoo. We see Bum has managed to sneak his way into Sangwoo's home but discovers a really fucked up secret.
Spoilers below, but honestly like. I can't imagine any of you reading this review either a) don't know the gist of the story or b) haven't read it.
It was super weird, I actually didn't feel bad for Bum at all when he got caught in Sangwoo's basement. Tbh, the fact he even went down there is beyond me LMAO. I never once thought, Well, that's what you get for snooping, though. It just seemed... frankly? unlucky ¯＼_( ´ ▽ ` ) _/¯ I mean, really. what are the chances the guy you've been whacking it to is a serial killer?
Bum openly admits that he stopped loving Sangwoo after finding out abt how fucked up he is. And girl, same. But he ends up with severe Stockholm Syndrome by the end of the series. I feel like, as a reader, I also did??? I know how fucked their relationship was but I desperately wanted it to work out somehow in the end (╥ ▽ ╥)
It could be knowing that both of them had horrible childhoods, which gave me a soft spot for their mutual suffering. Which is one thing I want to note, that Sangwoo was clearly being tortured by Bum's presence. (Even if Bum was tortured infinitely more)
The one thing that is sticking with me the most, was Koogi's choice to have them die separately, and alone. Absolutely cruel!! Sangwoo being murdered by an old granny really serves him right tho. That was cathartic. And she did so in a way that wasn't even outright malicious... very interesting.
Bum's death was the thing that made me ill, though. It was quiet. Not that his actual death was quiet, but metaphorically speaking? compared to the rest of the series? Quiet. Like it happened in passing. As if that's all his life would amount to - was dying alone. We don't even get to actually see him die, which... just... you realize the world declared he had no value at all.
But, honestly? Despite Sangwoo's poor upbringing like. Ok, it's 100% believable a male would grow up to be as violent as he was lol. I understand why a gl version of K/S wouldn't work - it's bc girls and women are abused in horrible ways aaaall the time and rarely turn out to be mass murderers.
Anyways, enough of that rant. This is fiction, after all and that's why it was enjoyable!
I absolutely do not recommend reading this if you're in the process of recovering from parental or relationship abuse. This series is goddamn heavy. I was crying on and off about it for 4hrs after finishing.
No, I even lost sleep because I didn't finish it before bed, and kept dreaming and waking up over how they die. It was because I knew from the beginning they would die. There was no happy ending for them, I just knew. Which is so fucking bitter. There's no sweetness to this story at all.
This review is already long, but the author's notes at the end of the series is really what did me in. She says that Sangwoo is heterosexual but... can a straight man really have sex with another man? And her answer to, "Does Sangwoo love Bum?": Read the last chapter.
Like. Fuck!!
My belief, as well as the general consensus, is that Sangwoo absolutely loved Bum. Which is why it fucking hurts so much. Because the dude is goddamn crazy.
Ok I'm gonna stop here, I have so much more to say but I've already been rambling.
Hoping to purchase this series at some point though, it was that impactful.
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overthinking,money TW: rant:
am i the only one who's scared to ask their parents for money even though they said it's ok to ask them for money. but at one point i just adopted the thing they do when they say they don't have money for stuff...and to the point that i'm here going to have a break down. but then again the friend that i'm compering myself to is kinda rich so it's ok if her allowance is more 1.5k/2k a week and she can just ask her parents for money if she's buying something that's either school related or art related....but then again i'm over here bc i'm just very scared to ask for money bc like- i can starve myself so i can get more money- it's not a big deal to me i've done it many times but then again i don't want to seem like a money grabber if i were to ask them for money bc i wanted to buy things to start up a new hobby like jewelry making like those girls on tiktok but then again if i use any of my money i now have to save up to get to the goal of getting 10k (i forgot to say this is in php) to spend on a wedding that's going to happen in Sydney(it's in two years) but now i worry that i might not buy the stuff that i want to bc i will only have 200 aud(exactly 272.85 Australian Dollar) and that i will have left over money bc i'm scared to use my money. i know it's pointless to try and cry over money bc i normally get 100php as my allowance but then again i commute to go back home and if i calculate how much money i will get each month; 1 week = 500 (but -100 bc we won't start until aug 29 and there's no telling how many more days will there be no school this year except for the many goddamn holidays) 500 x 4 will be 2,000 but my commute is normally 30 php so 30 x 5 = will be 150 each week. and 150 x 4 = 600, and 2,000 - 600 = 1,400 but we don't know about the school expenses, dates in where there's no school and i...sometimes even indulge in eating snacks and then i will lose money......i can ask my parents for money for the school stuff but it just feels weird and they're already working hard and they still have to pay off the house and i'm just so goddamn scared...and now there's the topics in where my friends will ask me if we can hang out...i know my mom gives me money but then again i will have to give her the change of the money so i just literally just try not spend anything when hanging out with my friends. i don't really know what to do, i want to but stuff i like but i still need to save for the wedding for two years and i'm not even sure if i'll like the things they're selling there....like- i will probably buy a few stuff but then get scared bc then i will only have a like money that won't really let me buy stuff...idk i just haven't calculated the amount of money that will be needed- i actually asked my mom if i can just get my hair cuts during the free haircut program my school has to let them save money since i don't want them to spend too much money since they already brought me my mac book..and they still have to pay the house, i mean- we aren't broke, my father has a well-paying job and my mom- has her dental clinic and her teaching work...my father is still working on his lawyering business ...like- by no means, we aren't broke..we just....let's just say during the earlier years of my childhood, my mom was still trying to save up money since i used to do to a private school and now i'm here in a public school, trying to not get kicked out since everyone in the school is on scholarship and during the first year they can remove you from the school if you get an average of below 85% (and this is a science-based school by the way) idk i just think they're doing so much yet i can't do anything that well...i don't like singing even though my mom tells me that i sing pretty good...my drawing isn't as like impressive unlike my friends and even my paintings, they surpass me in it.....like- i don't really have anything talented in me that will take me apart from the crowed except for the fact that my irl last name is normally the last one in the list and- i think that's the only thing that's different about me.
every one i know is better than me in one way or another, some of my friends sometimes point out the reasons why they don't like a specific person but i then noticed that i kind of fit that description and i normally ask- "well- i also do that..." and they just like- say things like "well- your {real name} so it's ok" and i have a feeling that they're just telling that bc they don't want me to be sad or upset but i also know that there's a possibility that some of my friends, classmates, peers. don't like me or even talk behind my back, it was even worse since i had one of my closet friends being revealed that he talks shit about me behind my back....i think i'll end this log in this context....i mean...i'm already crying...i can't just go for comfort to my parents bc they'll try to give me advice but i don't think i want advice...sometimes i just want to feel heard out, so i don't feel like a loser in the far corner without anything to show off or be proud of...i just feel like sometimes i'm not really needed here and i'm just a waste of life since i can't even express myself like my peers do...like they can think that i'm angry but i'm not....anger for me is strong...i remembering lashing out at my classmate since they broke something that's mine....i was in a bad mood that day and i just couldn't take it...i apologized and he did too...our relations ship is currently ok...i don't know of this night of aug 23-24 is just one of those nights where i can't really...those nights in which i feel so useless bc i didn't do anything today and my parents got worried since i all i ate was a single piece of pie and then my mom prepared me a meal so i will eat......so yeah...i just feel so useless and like- a raisin cookie....anyway, thank you to who ever reads this
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hi babyy 21, 33 and 34 ( ;) )
baby heh kissing u on the mouth rn... 🥰
21. something you’ve kept since childhood?
tbh i keep a lot of things but i guess the one i actually use the most is a coin bank my childhood best friend gave me when we were in elementary school. i still store some of my money in there after all these years :’) <3
33. the last adventure you’ve been on?
idk if this counts as an adventure but i went to the sea like 2 weeks ago? just to break out of the same routine in my life and it was so fun!!! 💙💙💙 i just walked on this long trail by the sea for a few hours and then i got some food and went back home but it was so nice! might go on an adventure like that again soon, things like that are so healing and dare i say necessary to human life
34. is there a song you know every word to by heart?
you’re not as smooth as you think you are for this tho... also dw it’s not conversation 16, i won’t keep torturing you like that. but ok i have a few songs i truly know by heart and some are the songs you’d 100% find at a karaoke bar like kelly clarkson’s since u been gone.. (used to listen to dis religiously in my teens, no u can’t laugh at me cause it’s a bop and i’m american so...) but also let me redeem / humiliate myself even further ;) i know all the words to the yyh anime opening smile bomb i love it so much and it brings back some good memories when i actually had time to watch anime! i have gr8 taste i know. and i also know all the words to this classic by tigers jaw.. i love their music bc the lyrics are easy for me to remember and they’re not that complicated (as other artists tend to make them). i used to sing this one line all the time and one of my old friends used to try to correct me on the science bit and how we are actually not made from chemicals but like... it’s a goddamn song brother... chillax. anyways we are made from chemicals but what holds us together is much more than that emo era emo era... :-)
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