#because my understanding of the label doesnt fit me

[nicxxx5]

i’ve been going back and forth on this for a while and the more i think about it...the more doubtful i become about me being straight lmao

#let me be clear about a couple things though #im pretty sure to a good degree im ace #but lately ive found myself attracted to masc presenting people who arent men... #idk what that means #but im also concerned im aro #not in a bad way just very very confused #because my understanding of the label doesnt fit me #but like i keep getting freaked out and panicked over guys trying to push a relationship to me? #idk if its because i havent really been in a really committed relationship before #i mean that probably is #also the fact that every guy ive been with has lied about their feelings for me... #so i have a bit of issues there... #but if anyone wants to spread some light thatd be great thanks lmao

[doomednarrative]

Having revelations about my identity again and tbh its not actually as like earth shattering to my sense of self as I expected it to be

#will elaborate more here in the tags so its not a longass post #but tldr: I'm not asexual like I thought I was for 8 fuckin years! #and im actually happy with figuring that out #the label worked well for me when i needed it for what i needed it for but now it does not fit any longer #and im cool with that #this doesnt make asexuality an invalid label or anything of course its just not the one that actually applies to me as it turns out #not to get too into gritty details but like #i was mistaking my issues with dysphoria and some trauma based shit as well as general repression issues due to my upbringing #with being ace #because it caused some similar feelings and disconnects for a long time #but as ive had time to heal and actually be around other friends and people who helped foster a safe enviornment to explore my shit #ive found im not actually asexual #im uh. much more open to kink than I previously thought but i wont elaborate on that on this account at least #but still it is a thing. recent revelation #anyways yeah thats whats going on #this years been a Lot in terms of like reconfiguring and finding out new shit about my personal identity #but in a very good way #think i understand myself better now than i ever did and it feels nice #me talking

[dyketubbo]

lesbian related discourse tires me out sm. first it was aro/ace lesbians then it was nonbinary lesbians then it was he/him lesbians and it/its lesbians and now its bi/pan/mspec lesbians like when are all of you going to realize that the lesbian experience is extremely diverse and has never been as strict as "women who only identify as women who love exclusively women who only identify as women". like this goes for many identities but lesbians end up at the forefront a lot and it makes me wonder if any of you actually give a shit about queer history because istg lesbian separatism has been reinvented like 50 times in the past decade.

stop convincing each other that the queer experience is nothing but strictly defined boxes and labels that can always be condensed into one sentence. lesbians can experience a lack of sexual attraction and a lack of romantic attraction and lesbians can be nonbinary and lesbians can be gnc and when you actually go into what those last two mean you should realize that yes this means sometimes lesbians are men because genderfluid and bigender and trigender and transmasc and whatever gender lesbians exist and when you actually goes into what THAT means you should realize yes actually people combining labels like mspec and lesbian makes perfect sense because of fucking course orientation and gender and whatever else you consider to be apart of your queer experience is all fluid its all up to personal interpretation

its not shit like bi lesbians or mogai or aroace people or gnc people or "trenders" or it/its users or whatever fucking bonafide weirdos that are ruining the community its the people who want to sort everyone into neat little boxes because they cant handle that sometimes you arent going to understand other peoples experiences. its fine if mspec lesbians dont make sense to you. its fine if it doesnt make sense to you how someone could use it/its, if it doesnt make sense how a lesbian could consider himself transmasc, if it doesnt make sense how someone could seriously mean "my gender feels like a star", if whatever queer experience you run into doesnt make sense.

someone's identity does not have to make sense for you to respect them as a person and realize that exclusionary behavior is nothing but a crabs in a bucket type mentality. not only have "weird" queer people existed since fucking forever, but even if they didnt the human experience is diverse and we still dont know everything about the world and why the fuck would you decide that no actually if it cant be understood it must be bad and you need to find out reasons for it to be bad. focus on the people who are actively hurting others, taking advantage of vulnerable people, dont become one of them. dont become one of the people who scorns anything they dont understand and hurts innocent people in the quest of getting rid of anyone who they deem is abnormal. its fucked up and being any type of exclusionist is fucked up.

bi lesbians, as an overall community, is just a bunch of people who decided that a complicated label fits their complicated attraction and thats Fine. it is literally fine. being a lesbian was never about being strictly a woman who strictly loves other women who are strictly women. its about loving women in a gay/queer way, whatever that means for the individual. if an individual person is using it in a transphobic way, then thats a fault of the person, not the label. but at its core, all the identity is about is about recognizing that attraction is complicated and identity is complicated and not everyone is comfortable putting themself in neat boxes for other people to scrutinize until they Get It.

to any mspec lesbians (and hell, any mspec gays) who are reading this: im proud of you and theres nothing wrong with recognizing that your identity is complicated and maybe even contradictory. its Your experiences and no one has the right to say that youre inherently a bad person simply because they heard some strawman arguments and decided to believe in fallacy over reality. and because its probably obvious why im making this yeah maia arson crimew is literally fine its an absolute legend actually and i hope that its okay. fuck anyone who was a piece of shit to it because they cant handle someone being openly complicated and contradictory and unabashedly "Weird"

#mask mews #bi lesbian #mspec lesbian #lesbian #only putting it on this blog because i want everyone who follows me here to know my stance #before any mcyt antis or whatever bother me i want dream dead and i hate schlatt dont bother me i just like roleplay #a lot of this blog is made up of me criticizing a lot of these creators do not even try me. thx xoxo

[oneofthosevilradfems]

was talking to my mum today about the fact that i literally can’t understand how someone’s beliefs dont make them change their actions. i cant process how someone with strong political beliefs doesnt then change their actions to fit those beliefs.

surely, if you call yourself an animal rights activist, or a feminist, or whatever, then you have to do the things that defend those causes. we’ve become so wrapped up in labels and identities that the word feminist doesnt even mean a woman that rejects male supremacy and fights for the liberation of women. it just means a woman whos seen a few tiktoks online and has vague thoughts every once in a while. how did we get here?

as soon as i realised beauty culture was regressive and unhelpful, both to myself personally and for women as a class politically and socially, i could no longer engage in it without feeling disgusted. the idea of shaving my legs or wearing a bra or makeup or tight clothes or having surgery to change my body is so unbelievably far fetched to me that i am unable to not feel bad if i do it. that was it for me, instantly.

feminism isnt about personal comfort. neither is any other type of activism. making sacrifices is part of activism. i think its so important to question why we do the things we do, and how our actions affect those around us. feminism didnt get anywhere without radical thought and action. our own state of being able to acquire financial independence and have sex discrimination challenged is because the women who came before us fought. there is no liberatiom without fighting for it.

#rad fem #radblr #radical feminist #terfblr #radical feminists do interact #this is not commentary on aaron bushnell’s actions #i do not think people should die for the liberation of the oppressed #feel free to challenge me on this bc its kind of just a stream of consciousness

[nerves-nebula]

Do you have any loveless/heartless characters? I think they're real neat <3

this post got superrr long lol. im avoiding my homework <3

so this is a complicated ask for me because my definition of "love" is intentionally different from a lot of more mainstream conceptions of it. love isn't a feeling to me, it's something you DO for people you care about, right? you make someone feel loved by doing things that show you care. you putting in that effort and correcting your behavior for their sake is love.

so in that way i don't consider any of my characters loveless. because to me Love is something you chose to do so nobody can really be loveless inherently, they're just choosing not to act loving towards someone.

HOWEVER, from what i've gleamed from a quick google search about loveless aros, it doesn't necessarily seem that being loveless is exclusive to my definition of love?

like, i'm seeing loveless aros talk about not having those kinds of feelings or doubting/opting out of western ideas of love that don't fit them. some talk about not forming that kind of "deep emotional bond" though I'm confused if they mean like.. in general, or just romantically. cuz i've never had a deep romantic bond but i've never really considered that an indictment of Love Itself so much as a type of love that I'm just not a part of.

some people are describing it as specifically romantic love that they know they can't feel. but then again some people are just using it to mean they reject "love" as a label for their emotions/experiences, so like. idk.

it feels like im on the exact same page as a lot of these people it's just that their conclusion was to throw out the word love and mine was to not accept the premise that romantic love is the highest or most important kind of love and focus on, like, other forms of love that are important to me. like my siblings and friends.

soooo i can't say any of them are loveless for sure, cuz i don't identify that way and i'm not sure i grok it yet.

HOWEVER,

I do have aromantic characters, if that's what you mean. though a lot of them are in weird psychosexual situations with each other (just cuz i dont wanna have sex doesnt mean its not fun for my characters to), though there's one or two healthy QPRs thrown in there.

tbh my understanding (or lack thereof) of romance seeps into all of my characters so even the ones who are supposedly in love are doing it with hints of aromanticism cuz like. i dont care what a crush is, yknow? there's only so far romantic tropes can take me before i tap out and just do my own thing.

but as for like canonically aro characters i've got Hondo & quinn, dotty, toasty, Thomas (you guys don't know Thomas yet lol she's a peach), Ezra and Pet (pet is a weird monster tho and Ezra is sort of dead so idk if that counts), Misha Mistaka, Pasiflora, and probably my new one, Benbeck.

I also consider Groe aroace but that's like, a whole thing. cuz Groe is mostly known for having been married to Maureno (one of my characters i explicitly consider allosexual, if not alloromantic) and their relationship takes front and center at every point sfsdf.

because even when i dont see it as romantic i LOVE to make characters lives intertwined and dependent on each other. due to my own personal issues. to be honest i dont think groe and maureno are "in love" i just think they're inextricable dependent on each other. i think their "romance" is an inherently aromantic one because it's not about romantic feelings its about their friendship and trust, which includes kissing and sex sometimes but isn't diminished when they don't do those things.

I don't think Groe feels romantic feelings but i get that two characters who ostensibly have their weird fucked up "romance" be the core thing going on in their life isn't exactly the aromantic rep that ppl are looking for. i mean, it is for ME, but not for everyone.

i guess im just not Good Aro rep tho, cuz im not interested in romance but i AM interested in finding a person who i know I can depend on for everything and share my life with, yknow? i want someone who i know will always be on my side.

and that looks the same to a lot of poeple as romance but the experience of it was way different. cuz i can be with them forever and never want to do more than kiss their forehead as a sign of affection and that'd be great for me, while i KNOW that's unthinkable for a lot of people.

but when writing my characters it's hard to really portray that internal difference. so i think ppl just assume it's romance, and like, that's fine i guess?

so like, groe and maureno fuck cuz it's fun and cuz they have unresolved issues but it's not crucial or even really important to their relationship- to the point that they care WAY more about who each other is hanging out with than who each other is having sex with.

but now i'm rambling about asexuality and stuff.. uhhh the point is YES i have aromantic characters NO I dont know if they're "loveless"

but if a character isn't aromantic or at least aspec that's probably cuz i made a concerted effort to think of them as such.

#nnstuff #ask #nnoc #arospec #aromantic #aro #groe caluna

[punkitt-is-here]

i know this sounds mean but i'm genuinely confused and curious so please at the very least hear me out

is it just me or are you either ignoring/in

getting angry with people who disagree with you about the bi-lesbian discourse (which i agree is stupid), even those who are trying to be respectful and understand your pov, while on the other hand when people agree with you you give them your full attention

like yeah i get it, some of the people in this discourse are just being jerks, but some people just seem to genuinely be trying to see your side

i just don't get it, why can't people try and like listen to both sides? we're all part of the same community

hey check this out

i get like a zillion of these every minute i want to answer em all but i am but one silly little internet person

the reason im angry is because I had several thousand people very suddenly start calling me a horrible person and telling me to kill myself. ive put out very detailed writings that get my point across clearly and tried to be as respectful as possible but when people immediately come at you with a sense of hostility and anger for not wanting to force people to stop using a label that makes them happy and comfortable you can only give them the time of day and the benefit of the doubt for so long. I know all the talking points, i tried understanding why people hated bi/pan lesbians for so long because I was worried i wasn't getting something, but the truth of the matter is i consumed every single angle of this stupid discussion and came out the other end still deciding that it doesn't fucking matter and the happiness of someone finding the words to describe themselves overpowers any person worried that somebody's description of themselves is erasing an identity or muddying the waters in any way. it just doesnt matter!!! it just dont!! there's old ass men that have been around longer than the stone age trying to actively genocide all queer people and I am simple a 20-something with rent to pay and a job to work and people to love. we have bigger fish to fry than listening to every single talking point of a bunch of people who can't grasp that queer people, surprise surprise, don't always fit into neat little boxes and definitely don't want to be put back in them again.

so please forgive me for only responding primarily to those who have a modicum of empathy and understanding and joy when I decide to peak into my public mailbox

#my posts #asks #anon #queer discourse #sorry folks this has just been weighing on me all day uhg

[joejoeba]

What are we 🤔

I dunno, something great, I bet! 🤗

Ramble (personal) (warning) ⬇️

So I dont like disagree with any kind of interpretation of two mafia boys who hang out a lot. Yeah, they're really brotherly! Yeah, they're besties too! Yeah, they could be a little more intimate than that at the same time! But people act like you have to choose just one dynamic, and it excludes the rest kinda? And idk how to feel about *that*. (Yeah obviously these two are just a vessel for my complex thoughts rn bear with me lol (or not, u can leave I wont blame u).

THE PERSONAL feel free to skip

I have people in my life who I consider family, who still dont fall into a traditional family dynamic (and especially not *my* actual biological family dynamic). I also have ppl that I love a lot that still wouldnt be considered "traditionally romantic", which is kind of an inevitability since nothing about me is traditional anyway, and I can't really help that. I've already struck out on most of these category qualifications (no attachment to biological family dynamics, non-monogamous, non-sexual) so I'm never gonna understand or fit in those super defined boxes.

UNPERSONAL AGAIN

Also thinking about on one hand, "non-American views on intimacy" and "non-modern-Christian-nuclear family dynamic". As in, firstly, just because you are physically affectionate with someone doesnt mean its inherently romantic if that's not the intent behind it. A lot of cultures are much more physical than what you see on (largely americanized) TV and the internet, and people are way too quick to put a sexual/romantic label on ANY act of physical intimacy. Secondly, found family is the best, but that doesnt mean it has to follow the traditional western family model (I'd argue that it shouldn't). Two boys who see each other as family despite only knowing each other for like a year wouldn't act the same as two boys who grew up together from day 1. Why would they? Why would you put the same lens on both? I have a specific distaste for "haha REAL siblings are constantly mean to each other youd know if you REALLY had siblings" because no?? Your experiences are not universal???

And like man, isnt Bucci Gang specifically about being the people on the fringe of society who don't fit in with the common understanding? I know the jokey view is Mom, Dad and 3 rowdy sons but it's never gonna be that clean-cut with people like that. Its defined by literally nothing but themselves, bc no one else would ever really get it, and no one else has to. That's queer found family culture BABEY.

So idk, I like my boys in a specific dynamic that doesnt really have a label, nor does it need one?? Cant they just be the way they are without needing other people to understand it fully? Interpersonal relationships are way more complex than 3 categories. And I'm sure everyone gets that, I am by no means galaxy braining right now, but sometimes you just gotta ramble about the unexpected inspirations you get from badly animated anime boys.

#Naramis #All I'm tagging this is way too rambly lmao #Sorry about thoughts but actually not. It's ok to think about life (yours) imitating art (your silly boy drawings) sometimes #Ok bye dont look at me again

[strawbs-screaming]

☆ punch out sexuality headcanons ☆

im running out of funny things to say help me, also tw for mentions of homophobia & transphobia

Glass Joe

- aromantic asexual (sex neutral, romance positive) + trans, he/him

- Just because hes ace doesnt mean he doesnt make inappropriate jokes on a daily basis, if there was a ranking of who made the most sexual jokes he'd be at the top

- when he came out as trans to his parents they were suprisingly supportive even though they didnt understand much, it just went like: "mom, dad, im a boy and if you dont like that too bad" "we dont care as long as you dont murder anyone" And they were generally chill with him

- when he first binded he used bandages & cloth instead of a actual binder (before he came out) and due to that he almost wasnt able to get top surgery

- has faked a lot of crushes to fit in during his childhood, ended up dating 3-5 people he didnt even like

- thought his gender envy was attraction until he just asked himself "do i wanna be them or be with them" And boom, gender confusion

- fell down the "im not like other girls!" to "im not a girl." pipeline

Von Kaiser

- demiromantic, demisexual + bi with a preference for men, he/they

- when he didnt know the demi labels he just saw himself as a picky dater, when he saw the demi labels he was like "Wait thats me" And pretty much ascended on the spot

- thought everyone just liked both men & women until he said it out loud and got met with pure shock

- his first crush was a famous model he saw in a fashion magazine, also slipping down the "do i wanna be them or be with them" pipeline

- his dad wasnt really supportive but became a bit more open minded once he realized that his hatred distanced himself from his son even more

Disco Kid

- nonbinary,gay, he/she

- okay with both feminine & masculine terms

- somebody tried to call him "princess" to insult him when he was little, instead he took it as a compliment and saw them as a friend, still in contact with said person & theyre besties now, the princess thing has become a nickname for him

- when he first came out his parents were like "the closet was wide open" and were not suprised at all, they saw it coming 1000 miles away as soon as he started it out with the "i have to say something important"

- started doing make up & playing around with dresses thanks to a close friend of his (the childhood friend) , when he first put on a dress he was like "i think i realized something"

King Hippo

- #1 label hater + all pronouns

- if he were to use labels, he would count as gender apathetic and pan oriented aroace

- labels are for losers to him

- not out but his parents know that he doesnt give a shit about labels, they first found out when he didnt care about being called "queen" and liked it, they have no problem with it

Piston Hondo

- pan, cis (?) + he/him but likes to refer to himself with feminine pronouns in japanese

- not out to his parents but dropping hints, theyre struggling to pick up on it and hes going mad over it

- going through some major gender questioning™

- playing around with dresses & femininity and enjoying it

Great Tiger

- polysexual (prefs are enbies, men & genderqueer ppl), genderqueer + all pronouns

- closeted it but trying to make it clear hes not straight,its just flying over his parents head like "oh me oh my our son is sure close with his friends!! Such close bros"

- likes dresses not only for spinning skirts but also how comfy they are

Bear Hugger

- gay, bear (ITS IN THE NAME. COME ON THE CLOSET IS GLASS), trans + he/him but ok with they/them

- when he first came out there was a lot of crying, not in the "i wont accept this wahh" way but more in the "i cant believe you trusted me enough to tell me this" way

- didnt know he was trans until he said "yeah i like being called son, yeah i like being called manly, im a girl though" out loud and he was like "wait a minute"

- has had 2-3 boyfriends during his teen years and is still in touch with them since the break ups were done without any harsh feelings & grudges, hes the only person that can see his exes all chatting together and not die of a heart attack on the spot

Don Flamenco

- gay, trans + he/they

- got called gay way before he knew it since he kept calling his male friends handsome often, always passed it off like "cant a man call his friend handsome?"

- the only feminine terms he will accept is queen and aunt, refer to him as anything other than that and he will punch you to orbit

- cut off contact with his parents since they didnt accept him & kicked him out, the only person who took him in was his aunt, she helped him get t & bind safely before he got top surgery

Aran Ryan

- genderfluid, pomosexual + all pronouns

- label hater but still uses them because why not

- came out in the most casual way possible, was just chilling on the couch with his dad and he just said "i kinda like being called miss sometimes" from boredom just to see dad go "huh??"

- sometimes does drag when he feels fem

Soda Popinski

- gay, cis + he/him

- Rocky dating history, most break-ups of his were really sad since it was either forced by family members or over arguments

- exes with bald bull but they still get along & dont care about their past, they just had better platonic connection and decided together

- out but not, making it clear hes a bit fruity but not too much for it to snowball into "the rumour come out: does soda popinski is gay?"

Bald Bull

- Boyflux, gay + he/they

- flamboyantly gay and cannot hide it no matter how much he tries, the closet is not even present, show him someone he has a crush on and you'll hear the gayest squeal in your life before he evaporates into thin air and holds you at gunpoint

- has the Don Flamenco issue going for him, compliments his male friends and calls them handsome wayyy too often, this time its 99% more obvious

- either really bitter with his exes or close friends, no inbetween, if you tell him "yeah your exes asked about you, theyre there" theres a 50% chance its gonna have his soul physically exit him and another 50% chance hes gonna walk right over to them and say hi

- not out publicly since it would cause a shitstorm, only out to a few people he trusts, has issues trusting people to not say his secrets since a close friend of his outed him during his teen years

Super Macho Man

- bi (slight pref for women), cis + he/she

- didnt really come out, he just showed up to his parents door with his (now ex) bf and was like "heyy say hi to my boyfriend" and everyone just kinda accepted it

- thought the attraction to men was envy for a long time until he learned the fact that wanting to be lifted into the arms of a man and making out with said man is not really straight

Mr Sandman

- gendervoid, demiromantic, acespec, pan + all pronouns

- feels like he should be more masculine but cant bring himself to it,he cant force his behavior to act in a way that doesnt fit him

- out and about, hes not repressing himself for anyone

#tw homophobia #Tw transphobia #punch out #headcanon #punch out wii #punch out headcanons #don flamenco #bald bull #glass joe #piston hondo #aran ryan #great tiger #von kaiser #disco kid #king hippo #i had fun doing this #i like researching about identities a lot so this was very enjoyable #“Why is most of the minor circuit ace & arospec-” FIREBALL ATTACK #if u disagree: nuh uh

[thehadesincident]

hi so im normal abt shin tsukimi being nonbinary. most of this is just hcs but this is real to me. read it undercut :3 i also touched on my hispanic shin and him being gay aroacespec by accident. whoops

to me at least. shin hasn’t really ever cared abt his gender that much, it was never really a big part of his life growing up so he never put thought into it or really had a meaning for it in his mind.

he is still transgender to me, he started exploring himself at around.. 14? i would say, it wasn’t anything much, just dressing more GNC, having fun with combining both styles of masculine and feminine clothing and all of that. in a way wanting to seem confusing but not at the same time.

he likes exploring and experimenting with how gender feels for him while hes older, but ya know how it is. it just, doesnt really seem right to pick a side with something you dont really understand yourself.

so thats where the quoigender comes in. its also called WTFgender which i find amazing. quoigender pretty much means that you cant really put a definition on your gender. so i think over time shin starts like. feeling more connected to that term for himself..!!

to me he uses any prns and any terms because of his like.. somewhat lack of care on how people assign a gender to him in a way when he meets new people, like the way that people think of him hasnt reallu been a big thought to him. until the death game which he puts up the front of  someone that is threating to survive but he still doesnt really care abt prns in the death game. a really funny idea is that everyone just uses a completely different set of pronouns for him and everyone just understands that its abt shin cuz of the tone in the voice.

theres also the whole… not really having an idea who you are with the hiyori persona in the death game but whooo cares abt that rn. something something gender playing into how he copied how he remembered hiyori acting like.. so acting more dramatic and the works.. 

and i also hc him as hispanic which.. can also play into his gender in a way. to me his mom is hispanic for context. she herself never liked the idea of gender roles but she never gotten a chance to break out of them..until she moved to japan for school, met shins dad and all of that. so when she had shin she wanted to make sure that nothing was being overly expected from him that fits into any of the norms.. she is also somewhat breaking without knowing but its whimsical for her. i need to talk abt the tsukimis more they mean so much to me.

not to get too ibto his sexuality in the gender rant but. i thibk he knew he was gay for a while, hes alaways liked boys for his whole life pretty much, he hasnt felt attraction to girls at all besides like.. the planotic “ohh ur pretty:)” thing you know. but then also the aroace spectrum kicks in. 

at least to me. shin hasnt really felt romantic feelings for anyone reallly. like he couldnt really place how he feels for ppl on a romantic scale if rhay makes sense, but like he has felt them in rare occasions, but nothing really happens lmao. so the plain term of arospec usually works.

im aceflux shin number one believer. its just really dear to me for some reason. it doesnt really breach out of the demisexual area that much but its okay he gets to have some fun with labels.

also no cisgender person only wears winter clothing all year long. he is most likely nonbinary but he has a minimum wage shift in the hour and is kinda doomed in a death game later so he cant care abt that atm. 

in short uhhh shin tsukimi any pronouns quoigender/nonbinary aroace spec gay real forever. 

#letters from the underworld #your turn to die #shin tsukimi #nonbinary #quoigender #long posts

[memurfevur-archive]

i keep seeing polls talking about asexual/aromantic rep and i always hesitate to answer those because i feel like i dont fit in. not in the way of 'im questioning my identity' but because i feel like i shouldnt fit in, that this poll isnt intended for me because im demi, and other people would be angry if i answered

i have to keep reminding myself that its a spectrum and im on it, which tbh applying the ace or aro label to myself is a relatively new concept im settling in within the past few years just because for so long i had the black-and-white understanding of the term and not the mix of greys

taking the way my friends experience their aro/ace-ness and comparing it to how i experience it also doesnt help, and i know i shouldnt do that, but it's hard because... well, theyre examples and im not like them

but i guess im also an example for someone else, too, and i should consider that. that not all ace/aro fall under sex-repulsed or neutral, and that not all attraction is based on whether we feel these things or not but also how we feel it

#vent #ig?

[cadoized]

been thinking about it a bit and i think the reason why i find it so hard to pin down a label for myself is because like, there are certainly things about myself that i dont like and can make me feel dysphoric, but a lot of it comes down to how those things make other people perceive me.

I dont like having to have a label for myself so people can file me into certain ranks and categories and then assume that i should be a certain way. it restricts you in every aspect. what you can call yourself and what others can call you, what you should wear, how you should act, the jobs you can have and the amount of money you can earn. even what youre expected to eat.

why does it matter if i call myself a man sometimes or a girl in others? sometimes it just sounds better or more fitting to whats being said. if it feels like i have to go out of my way to refer to myself with certain words just because they “fit” into the niche i was slotted into, i simply wont.

i prefer sir, son, brother, but also girl, aunty, and she i like getting shirts in the womens section but pants from the mens i hate makeup but after seeing other guys wearing nail polish ive discovered its kinda fun

it doesnt change anything about me. ill always be myself no matter what words i use or how i look, and people close to me are starting to realise that as well.

i think society creates these categories purely for convenience, and its understandable. you cant know everything about every stranger you see on the street, so it makes sense to create and use signifiers of different traits so you can look at people and assume what language to use based on how they present, even though some signifiers are out of our control (ie. sex).

but its just that. an assumption. so why do people get so righteous when you let them know “sorry thats wrong, im actually like this”?

#my posts #this has been sitting in drafts for a while bc im not good at wording things but since its june #genderqueer #genderfluid #nonbinary

[otherkin-confessional]

hate all the non-dollkin stuff in the dollkin tag... its like they dont listen to us when we say "hey this isnt dollkin dont tag your stuff as such." i swear, do they even look into what theyre tagging? i just dont understand.. also with dollkin stuff that Is there... i dont know, none of it fits me. i feel like i have to fit into this certain label or look that is dollkin (porcelain dolls, lolita fashion, pastel clothing, overall a soft look to it). like yeah, im a bjd, but im just that! a bjd! i dont wear frilly dresses i wear pants. i dont wear makeup. i dont look 'soft' i look like ive been at a rave for 3 days straight. my body just so happens to be a bjd. i also dont feel like i need to be taken care of, played with, etc etc... im just . a doll. needing to be held by a doll stand. nothing else, thats it. i think also why i dont 'fit in' with dollkin is because im an anthro cat bjd, with felt (theres a specific material but i forgot the name of), fake fur, no hair style, resin eyes, etc. its very specific, so when i see other dollkin i feel alienated. you dont think of me when you hear dollkin,.. so i try to get into their 'look' but it just doesnt work. because its not me. absolutely no hate to any dollkin who are like what i just described, i love you all!!! /gen. i too love trad. bjd's and lolita fashion! but its just not me, you know? what im wishing for is just for more variety, more representation of myself.

🌌

#otherkin #otherkin community #alterhuman #otherkin confession #alterhumanity #dollkin #bjdkin #bjdollkin #ball jointed dollkin

[dreamhot]

One of the things it makes so furious about its the fact that people would call dream "straight" just because he doesnt have a label yet. And i hate the fact that if you dont have one then people will call you a "fake queer that only wants attention"

I may know what my sexuality is but my gender its such a confusing thing to me and i feel like i dont fix to any boxes yet. Dream made me feel okay that its okay not to put yourself on a box you arent sure you'll fit. But the hate that he got made me feel insecure that i cant talk about me being trans or part of the trans community because im not sure what i am yet.

it's one of the most awful side effects of how dream's been treated - because people don't seem to understand that their malicious invalidation toward dream also affects everyone who has ever seen their own struggles reflected in him. the unlabelled, the uncertain, the closeted, the people trying to figure themselves out in a world that either demands an explanation to validate your queerness or rejects your identity entirely ... the ones who are cruel to dream on this subject do more to hurt the inclusivity of the community than they will EVER benefit it.

i hope you're surrounded by people who make you feel safe enough to have those conversations, anon. the bittersweet reality is that you won't be under such massive amounts of scrutiny at least :( but i promise that you're allowed to not know how to describe your own story yet, and that will never make you any less welcome in the community ♡

#smile.ask #anon

[scoutpologist]

idk if this helps, but coming from a trans ftm guy, heres my advice: accept the questioning, and divorce all concepts of societal feminimity and masculinity away from the "gendered" things youre doing. it gets 1000% easier when you stop seeing certain things as "things woman do" and "things men do" and even "things trans people do". for some of this its definetly harder to do that (especially when people IRL will see things gendered ie skirts for girls beards for boys) but when you yourself stop seeing things in certain terms and start defining them to yourself, it makes it so much easier to accept yourself and feel comfortable in your own body. like, other people can and will see different things you do as "girly" things or "boyish" things, but it doesnt matter what they think because they arent living in YOUR body. if what you do isnt feminine or masculine or gendered, then it just isnt! Even if its typically gendered stuff like painting or nails or makeup or growing a beard or shaving your hair. its just you doing your own thing. questioning yourself is normal as well - ive been a trans male since i was 15 and ive STILL been questioning myself, even when i feel like i know for sure. i just accept its a part of my journey, and i still divorce concepts of even gender and perception of the things i do from each other. i know im a boy - what kind of boy? Well im still figuring that out. it can be the same for you. Youre still yourself, whether feminine leaning or masc leaning or neither, or stargender or genderfluid or anything else, at the end of the day youre still yourself, no matter what gender or genderless version of yourself you land on. You can always change your mind, you can always feel it from moment to moment, you can always just put it away for later. It doesnt invalidate yourself to question it, it just makes you understand yourself more clearly. i hope this helps, because i can understand the dysphoria of not wanting to be gendered (even if its for me in a certain way) but it makes me feel better to remind myself that nothing has to FEEL like its gendered if i dont want it to be. it can certainly be the same for you <33

you know, even though i think that the categories of masculine and feminine are utter bullshit i didn't think of this at all. that's fucking awesome and i think it'll help a lot. you're right - everything is just stuff that people do. the categories aren't real. why didn't i think of that???

also thank you for the words about questioning. i really really needed to hear that honestly, because questioning is always a very embarrassing and turbulent thing for me. i feel as if i have to sort myself into a category. there's just this urge that i have to know exactly what category i fit into.

this is a very annoying feeling that doesn't really align with my values at all. i think most categorization systems can be limiting at best, and i think the vast majority of people are in a grey area between "ideals" of labels. i don't think labels matter and in fact i think many times they can hold people back. but i still feel the compulsive need to label. annoying as hell, but what can you do. maybe i really need to work on that.

thank you so much for the advice rabble, it means a lot <3 nothing is real and we can do whatever we want, hell yeah

#ask #rabble-dabble

[incarnateirony]

What's the thing about David Haydn-Jones? Is he going to have a role in TW? Does he know something about the show and leaked it? I'm searching some info about this but I can't find anything. Also, I can't find your post about Alma (personally, even if I'm a cockles truther, I don't believe Alma is Misha, but I'm curious about what you said)

I've never been on the Alma Is Misha train seriously either but I've followed it for fun and there was just a poem from someone else alma reposted about making your own world to not die in someone else's. It was just incredibly timely because yeah. That.

DHJ is on the list of actors that were called up a while ago and asked if they'd be interested for return. The general pitch is basically, well, there's like time travel and dimensions and stuff. Anyway, for some unearthly reason, Pat's been banging on this basic bullshit pretending it's super insane leaks verifying dramatic changes or some shit just because they did reshoots and he still doesn't fucking comprehend what those actually mean.

Hell I'm pretty sure even the note attached to my own draft left a lead in that quite literally said, "This is an example draft. Due to the placement, a variety of characters could fit in from time or dimension distortions, here's a shortlist of other suggestions." basically. Like this isn't the fucking rocket science he thinks it is. This man has no earthly comprehension what a good Treatment looks like so he’s been crapping his pants about “changes” that were already fucking prepared for as alternatives. You know who understands how to make good Treatments? The screenwriters and former showrunner (not of spn) in this fandom that are WAY above your paygrade dude.

The original project was 8-10 episodes miniseries with a few fractal potentials and presentations planned so no shit they're having to shift it around a little bit you fucking knobs. lmao you wanna know the real reason he kept saying 10 episodes at first, there you go. That's why he aimed for it in the commitment. SDKJFSDJFS gg pat since I know you still read my wall like a loser and by now 100% have had ghost or someone narc to you that I'm not fucking with you.

Anyway back to actual ask, basically, he's on the list of potential fan favorites being given opportunities to return. Exactly when and where is unclear. Especially since "when" is gonna be kinda multifaced in this.

Nothing actually meaningful leaked from DHJ is actually the point. Pat's been trying to act like he Knows Things because DHJ sharing vaguepitches and some tumblr anon fucking with him.

it’s not fucking rocket science. The show features the Men of Letters. What do you THINK he’s fucking there for. And do you think that entitles him to the full thing. seriously i’m. so done with pat’s 2 braincells farting garbage into the internet and labeling it Intel when they happen to rub together

mfers know for a god given fact I work with people who get onto CW shows and even have some damn good friend actors that started periscope streaming supernatural and yelling at me live for getting them into this hellhole, but he can’t wrap his fucking brain around the fact that maybe someone moved the bar on him while he wasn’t looking. Or his folks yelling U DONT KNOW BOBO BOBO DOESNT KNOW U AND WILL NEVER KNOW YOUR NAME and then shutting the fuck up when I drop them a video voicemail, “HIIIII MINNNNNN ITS BOBO~~~~ AT COMICON~~~~ WHY AREN’T YOU HERE?~~~~ HUH??~~~~” Fucking shit.

figure it out, douchebags.

same dumb motherfucker that’s spent years arguing with me that Corporate Things Aren’t Real Corporate Things Don’t Exist And Can’t Hurt him, constantly smashed in the face. Or arguing that Berens had no Destiel intent and actually shipped Wincest--he banged on that for YEARS not even knowing about what Bobo’s desk looked like or the entire motion of overwriting Bucklemming going on in the room with Dabb’s aid. Arguing certain shit doesn’t happen because he’s nobody while I’m like, sitting on an under the table recording of execs in burbank about another CW show but SURE FUCKING POP OFF DUDE. 

You were wrong about the original ending, and paid 5K to be wrong about the omissions, and you were wrong about the pilot, but I’m very sure your magical anon that wasn’t there to save you from looking like an embarrassment then definitely has deep insights to production futures. You were wrong about Berens. Wrong about corporate. Wrong about who cut what lines to the point you were bitchslapped by actual direct sources in half a day. I have never seen a piece of shit be more consistently wrong and pretend he’s right. This is the biggest tryhard piece of shit I have EVER encountered. Holy. Fucking. Shit.

and damn I mean, I know people in this fandom overbloat their importance, or even low key media workers do. Mary Manchin argued about the goddamn market testing and said they don’t even do general SPN market testing when I had the goddamn receipts in my phone for years before we safely pushed it through debunker. Natalie Fisher took great confidence in her RL friendship with meredith to the point she argued with me in season 15 there was no confession scene. Jess from the Mary Sue, too. Like you people do not fucking understand how stupid this all looks. And patrick generally can’t even get at THAT level of fucking sources.

Genuinely funny they can’t figure out why I’ve been comfortable owning association with that market testing without fear WB will come after me to shake me down for whoever gave it to me. You haven’t thought that far yet, I guess. Probably because you never even comprehend this world turning around you, to think of that as a flag you should probably be pissing yourself about right now.

#apollo's curveballs #2p0 is a buffoon

[theorahsart]

hi im really sorry if this comes off the wrong way, but I saw your comic and I wanted to ask a question. thing is the 'gradient' version of the autism spectrum made a lot of sense to me. cause I literally do feel "a little autistic" (again I'm so sorry if this comes off wrong! I don't want to be one of those people who's like everyones a little autistic) I have a little bit of a lot the symptoms but not enough/causes enough issue to actually be autistic/asd. e.g. I struggle with eye contact occasionally - sometimes people look over their shoulder and I realise I've been staring over their shoulder instead of making eye contact - but again only occasionally. I occasionally struggle with sarcasm (I used to struggle A LOT but I've gotten better) but again only really a little more than average - not nearly as much as my family for example (I'm fairly certain my mum has ASD but I don't want to armchair diagnose). I used to be overly sensitive and prone to tantrums but not really any more. I am definitely INCREDIBLY PRONE to stimming. routines - I am very prone to routines, the only way I get things done each day is by having a specific order I do them in and I get uncomfortable when someone breaks that routine - but also my own inability to do things and manage my time causes me to REGULARLY break my own routines. I get overstimulated by lights/noises/smells, more than average but not really that much that its debilitating, and not any more often than my friends or family. the one that finally prompted me to send this ask - I just recently learned that autism affects motor control and I recalled mum saying both her and I have poor spatial awareness which I think relates to motor control.

HOWEVER again even though I kinda have a little bit of everything im definitely not autistic. I speak with a normal tone and I only have very slightly poorer social skills than average. I didn't have any delays in development - started speaking at the right time and all. also all my symptoms are slight and none interfere with daily living.

anyway my point is the "little bit autistic" made a lot of sense to me and I was wondering if you could consolidate what I experience with the points you've made? or maybe what I'm experiencing is just normal, maybe everyone struggles with eye contact, understanding expressions etc. from time to time, in which case im very sorry for wasting your time and downplaying autistic struggles

Hello anon! Thank you for the question- I'm sure lots of people maybe wonder the same thing, so I will answer as best I can (I'm sorry for the long answer, I like giving lots of context)~

So first of all, yes, everyone struggles with all the same things autistic ppl struggle with from time to time. As you say yourself, the only point to really have an autism label is that we need to separate the 'from time to time' from the 'has a significant impact on my life and needs exploring'.

Its messy and complicated and, since by its nature is a social difference, will probably be defined in a different way in the future and was defined in a different way in the past. But yes, ultimately, if it isnt impacting your life enough that you feel the need to explore the label, then maybe you aren't autistic.

HOWEVER

People are as complicated as labels for social differences lol I'm not you and dont know you. People who've had to grow up suppressing themselves in order to fit in, often learn to put up with a base level of discomfort that becomes the norm for them, and they think they're doing just fine and then realise at some point that they're really not fine. Or they think theyve had anxiety their whole lives when in fact they were surpressing sensory issues. Or they've never learned emotional vocabulary and had no compass to guide them in looking at their own feelings, therefore ignoring negative feelings. The human mind is very good at ignoring things and maladapting.

Basically, just because someone says something doesnt impact them, doesnt mean that's neccasarily true. So I dont want to answer your ask with a simple 'if you arent suffering then you're not autistic' cos thats not how human perception and self knowing works.

I'm afraid my very unhelpful official answer is: 'A little autistic' doesnt exist (it really doesnt, autism is too complicated for such a nice simple label as that!) but if you feel that label previously worked for you, then you may want to do some self reflection and think about why you felt you wanted or needed that label. Maybe you should reflect on the reasons behind the autism traits you feel you relate to.

ie. is your occasional lack of eye contact

- due to you fixating on the moments when you dont make eye contact

-due to you feeling naturally inclined to not make eye contact but forcing yourself to do it out of politeness

-due to anxiety/shyness

These answers could all mean you have autism or not autism for different reasons, but when you start to think about the why behind any of these reasons and talk to people about these reasons, it can help you to understand yourself better, which could lead to you deciding you're autistic, or maybe looking into other things such as ADHD, or realising you have some emotional trauma to deal with, or just making pecae with who you are.

But right now, the fact youve sent me a very long message listing various traits suggests you're not entirely at peace with who you are and are looking for answers! I would take that to mean that you *do* struggle in some way, or are at least feeling your experience is not a normal experience. This seems like a good time to start exploring how different you are or are not to others and what that means to you. I know thats a very therapist kinda answer, but I hope its some kind of helpful for you!

#sorry this mightve not been helpful #but good luck on your journey of exploration