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mostlysignssomeportents · 4 months

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Worker misclassification is a competition issue

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/02/02/upward-redistribution/#bedoya

The brains behind Trump's stolen Supreme Court have detailed plans: they didn't just scheme to pack the court with judges who weren't qualified for – or entitled to – a SCOTUS life-tenure, they also set up a series of cases for that radical court to hear.

Obviously, Dobbs was the big one, but it's only part of a whole procession of trumped-up cases designed to give the court a chance to overturn decades of settled law and create zones of impunity for America's oligarchs and the monopolies that provide them with wealth and power.

One of these cases is Jarkesy, a case designed to allow SCOTUS to euthanize every agency in the US government, stripping them of their powers to fight corporate crime:

https://www.americanprogress.org/article/sec-v-jarkesy-the-threat-to-congressional-and-agency-authority/

The argument goes, "Congress had the power to spell out every possible problem an agency might deal with and to create a list of everything they were allowed to do about these problems. If they didn't, then the agency isn't allowed to act."

This is an Objectively Very Stupid argument, and it takes a heroic act of motivated reasoning to buy it. The whole point of expert agencies is that they're experts and that they might discover new problems in American life, and come up with productive ways of fixing them. If the only way for an agency to address a problem is to wait for Congress to notice it and pass a law about it, then we don't even need agencies – Congress can just be the regulator, as well as the lawmaker.

If there was any doubt that Congress created the agencies as flexible and adaptive hedges against new threats and problems, then the legislative history of the FTC Act should dispel it.

Congress created the FTC through the FTCA because the courts kept misinterpreting its existing antitrust laws, like the Sherman Act. Companies would engage in the most obvious acts of naked, catastrophic fuckery, and judges would say, "Welp, because Congress didn't specifically ban this conduct, I guess it's OK."

So Congress created the FTC with an Act that included a broad authority to investigate and punish "unfair methods of competition." They didn't spell these out – instead, they explicitly said (in Section 5) that it was the FTC's job to determine whether something was unfair, and to act on it:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/01/10/the-courage-to-govern/#whos-in-charge

The job of the FTC is to investigate unfair conduct before it becomes such a problem that Congress takes action, and to head that conduct off so that it never rises to the level of needing Congressional intervention.

Now, it's true that since the Reagan years, the FTC has grown progressively less interested in using this power, but that's broadly true of all of America's corporate watchdogs. But as the public all over the world has grown ever more furious about corporate abuses and oligarchic wealth, governments everywhere have rediscovered their role as a public protector.

In America, the Biden administration altered the course of history with the appointment of new enforcers in the key anti-monopoly agencies: the FTC and the DOJ's antitrust division. But more importantly, the Biden admin created a detailed, technical plan to use every agency's powers to fight monopoly, in a "whole of government" approach:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2021/08/party-its-1979-og-antitrust-back-baby

Now, this can give rise to seeming redundancies. Take labor issues. The NLRB is a (potentially) powerful regulator that had been in a coma for decades, but has awoken and taken up labor rights with a fervor and cunning that is a delight to behold:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/06/goons-ginks-and-company-finks/#if-blood-be-the-price-of-your-cursed-wealth

At the same time, the FTC has also taken up labor rights, using its much broader powers to do things like ban noncompetes nationwide, unshackling workers from bosses who claim the right to veto who else they can work for:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/02/02/its-the-economy-stupid/#neofeudal

But the NLRB doesn't make the FTC redundant, or vice-versa. The NLRB's role is principally reactive, punishing wrongdoing after it occurs. But the FTC has the power to intervene in incipient harms, labor abuses that have not yet risen to the level of NLRB enforcement or new acts of Congress.

This case is made beautifully in Alvaro Bedoya's speech "'Overawed': Worker Misclassification as a Potential Unfair Method of Competition," delivered to the Law Leaders Global Summit in Miami today:

https://www.ftc.gov/system/files/ftc_gov/pdf/Overawed-Speech-02-02-2024.pdf

Bedoya describes why the FTC has turned its attention to the problem of "worker misclassification," in which employees are falsely claimed to be contractors, and thus deprived of the rights that workers are entitled to. Worker misclassification is rampant, and it transfers billions from workers to employers every year. As Bedoya says, 10-30% of employers engage in worker misclassification, allowing them to dodge payment for overtime, Social Security, workers' comp, unemployment insurance, healthcare, retirement and even a minimum wage. Each misclassified worker is between $6k-18k poorer thanks to this scam – a typical misclassified worker sees a one third decline in their earning power. And, of course, each misclassified worker's boss is $6k-$18k richer because of this scam.

It's not just wages, it's workplace safety. One of the most dangerous jobs in the country is construction worker, and worker misclassification is rampant in the sector. That means that construction workers are three times more likely than other workers to lack health insurance.

What's more, misclassified workers can't form unions, because their bosses' fiction treats them as independent contractors, not employees, which means that misclassified construction workers can't join trade unions and demand health-care, or safer workplaces.

Contrast this with, say, cops, who have powerful "unions" that afford them gold-plated health care and lavish compensation, even for imaginary ailments like "contact overdoses" from touching fentanyl – a medical impossibility that still entitles our nation's armed bureaucrats to handsome public compensation:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/01/27/extraordinary-popular-delusions/#onshore-havana-syndrome

Cops have far safer jobs than construction workers, but cops don't get misclassified, so they are able to collect benefits that no other worker – public or private – can hope for.

Not every employer wants to cheat and maim their employees, of course. In Bedoya's speech, he references Sandie Domando, an executive VP at a construction company in Palm Beach Gardens. Domando's company keeps its employees on its books, giving them health-care and other benefits. But when she started bidding against rival firms for jobs funded by the covid stimulus, she couldn't compete – two thirds of those jobs went to other firms that were able to put in cheaper bids. Those bids were cheaper because they were defrauding their workers by misclassifying them. Thus, publicly funded projects were overwhelmingly handed over to fraudulent companies. Fraud becomes a fitness-factor for winning jobs. It's a market for lemons – among employers.

Employee misclassification is a pure transfer from workers to bosses. Bedoya recounts the story of Samuel Talavera, Jr, a short-haul trucker who worked for decades in the Port of Los Angeles. For decades, his job paid well: enough to support his family and even take his kids to Disneyland now and again.

But in 2010, his employer reclassified him as a contractor. They ordered him to buy a new truck – which they financed on a lease-purchase basis – and put him to work for 16 hours stretches in shifts lasting as much as 20 hours per day. Talavera couldn't pick his own hours or pick his routes, but he was still treated as an independent contractor for payroll and labor protection purposes.

This lead to an terrible decline in Talavera's working conditions. He gave up going home between shifts, sleeping in his cab instead. His pay dropped through the floor, thanks to junk-fees that relied on the fiction that he was a contractor. For example, his boss started to charge him rent on the space his truck took up while he was standing by for a job at the port. Other truckers at the port saw paycheck deductions for the toilet-paper in the bathrooms!

Talavera's take-home pay dropped so low that he was bringing home a weekly wage of $112 or $33 (one week, his pay amounted to $0.67). His wife had to work three jobs, and they still had to declare bankruptcy to avoid losing their home. When Talavera's truck needed repairs he couldn't afford, his boss fired him and took back the truck, and Talavera was out the $78,000 he'd paid into it on the lease-purchase plan.

This story – and the many, many others like it from the Port of LA – paint a clear picture of the transfer of wealth from workers to their bosses that comes with worker misclassification. The work that Talavera did in the Port of LA didn't get less valuable when he was misclassified – but the share of that value that Talavera received dropped to as little as $0.67/week.

Worker misclassification is rampant across many sectors, but its handmaiden is technology. The fiction of independence is much easier to maintain when the fine-grained employer-employee control is mediated by an app (think of Uber):

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/12/algorithmic-wage-discrimination/#fishers-of-men

That's why those scare-stories that AI trucks were going to make truckers obsolete and create an employment crisis were such toxic nonsense. Not only are we unlikely to see self-driving trucks, but the same investors that back AI technology are making bank on companies that practice worker misclassification through the "it's not a crime if we do it with an app" gambit:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/11/robots-stole-my-jerb/#computer-says-no

By focusing our attention on a hypothetical employment crisis that will supposedly be caused by future AI developments, tech investors can distract us from the real employment crisis that's created by app-enabled worker misclassification, which is also the source of much of the capital they're plowing into AI.

That's why the FTC's work on misclassification is so urgent. Misclassification is a scam that hurts workers and creates oligarchic power – and it's also a mass-extinction event for good companies that don't cheat their workers, because those honest companies can't compete.

Worker misclassification is having a long-overdue and much needed moment. The revolutionary overthrow of the rotten old leadership at the Teamsters was caused, in part, by a radical wing that promised to focus the Teamsters' firepower on fighting worker misclassification:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/11/19/hoffa-jr-defeated/#teamsters-for-a-democratic-union

This has become a focus of labor organizers all around the world, as worker misclassification-via-smartphone has infected labor markets everywhere:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/09/22/kropotkin-graeber/#an-injury-to-one

Bedoya's speech is a banger, and it reminds us that labor rights and anti-monopoly have always been part of the same project: to rein in corporate power and protect workers from the insatiable greed of the capital class:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/14/aiming-at-dollars/#not-men

#pluralistic #automation panic #automation #scotus #market for lemons #worker misclassification #ftc #competition #antitrust #trustbusting #ftc act #ftc 5 #unions #labor #jarksey #alvaro bedoya #nlrb #whole of government

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jacobsbigmelons · 2 months

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Jacob has the visceral need of breeding his bf

Creaking Wood

Jacob Custos x Male Reader

IM BACK CHAT (for the most part) expect hopefully more activity from me 😭

cw: Nsfw, slight alcohol consumption, jacob being fine asl, Breeding (obv), and a top bunk holding onto dear life bc it has to hold up two guys going at it…

The crackling of the fire pit, aroma of beer and whistling of the wind set the perfect scene as the summer councilors sat around the fire conversing with one another. Your conversation with Emma came to a close, though as you felt as if someone was watching, lo and behold the hunk of meat who just couldn’t keep his doe eyes off you.

You took a sip of your almost finished Corona as you stare at Jacob back, your face beginning to tingle a bit from the beer but you also can’t help but feel it’s because of your boyfriend. You both stare for what felt like slight eternity until Ryan made a comment.

“Someone’s distracted” Ryan said to your left as he directed his gaze to Jacob than back to you

“Pfft, yeah okay.” You scoffed playfully, rolling your eyes in the process as you got up as you finished off your drink, crushing it up making sure to dispose of it properly. “I’m gonna go charge my phone inside i’ll be back though!” you explained to the group as you began to walk backwards, hands up, phone in one of them.

“Ay wait lemme come with!” Jacob yelled out, not even paying attention to Abby’s warnings to be safe on the walk…or maybe that was the alcohol. He walked over as you finally turned around walking correctly, giving a slight wave to the people still around the fire.

The stairs up to the cabin you and him shared creaked with each step you guys took, the darkness not helping with illuminating expect for the occasional lamp and or phone flashlight

“So w..what made you wanna come with?” You questioned, voice barely slurred.

“I mean if you want me to turn back I can~” Jacob playfully teased as a Tsk left your mouth and Jacob began to laugh

“Dumbass you know that’s not what I mean” Though a smile couldn’t help but come through before Jacob wrapped a hand around your waist, the floors creaking as you two walked inside. Soon closing the door as he pulled you a little closer to him, your walking paused as you allowed him to just hug you for a bit. The buzz of alcohol rushed across your face in the moment, even sober you know Jacob wanted to be around or in some way holding you so a buzzed Jacob is definitely gonna be clingy.

“So how long does it take for your phone to charge?” He questioned though the tone sounded a little suggestive, you took the time to go and climb your bunk as Jacob followed behind. “It’ll take a bit for it to charge, a good bit honestly so…do with that what you will” You said as you watched your boyfriend join you on the top bunk, his arm going around you as the silence fills the air for a second.

“Their tipsy~ they won’t check on us” Jacob said in an almost mischievous tone, his arm around you slowly moving to your face to move your lips towards his, though for someone with little brains he at least knew how to be a good kisser. It didn’t take long after that for Jacob to end up giving your bunk a run for its money. Jacob’s hand had your mouth covered as you felt his other hand keeping your back arched while he fucked you into the mattress.

“Fuckk babe you feel so good~” He moaned a bit as he got close to speak into your ear, looking back he’s even wearing his backwards hat which somehow just made the whole scene better even if you couldn’t fully see your boyfriend in what little moonlight there was.

All you could do was make muffled noises as you felt him go in and out, still making sure he’s got a good hold of you but now his hands moved down to hold you by the lower back as he made sure he made it all the way inside of you by going fast and pulling out until he begins to keep thrusting. “Shit i’m close-“ Jacob said almost like he was wincing, as if he didn’t want to finish yet.

You began to push yourself back into him as you gripped the bedsheets, being just as close, you needed that last bit of effort to bring you and Jacob to the edge. The fast thrusting soon coming to an end as you felt his cum slowly dripping as he pulled out, breaths heaving as the dopamine begins to pass until you ask a question both of you need to figure out

“How do we clean this up-“ D:

#jacob custos #the quarry #the quarry jacob #jacob custos x reader #jacob custos my fucking beloved #jacob custos x male reader #the quarry jacob custos #x male reader

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youreallyshouldtalkmore · 6 days

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Closeted Theories

A.N: Was finishing up my other Neuvillette series and this one just dropped into my head. Mighta have something to do with the fact I finished the Neuvillette storyquest the other day and he’s still on the brain. That was an awesome quest!! Definitely one of my hallmark favorites!

Genshin Impact MasterList

------

Picture this scenario:

You were currently locked in a storage room closet, in the Palais Mermonia with Monsieur Neuviellette by your side.

Got it in your head?

Hard to picture, wasn’t it?

Yeah, it would have been hard for you too, only a scant five minutes ago.

But right now, this is your reality.

You heard a gaggle giggling on the other side of the door as it shut. You dimly heard the lock as well. Then the voice of Sedene spoke over it, “Don’t worry, we will relieve you in an hour!”

Then you heard the giggling and paddling of feet retreat. You just blinked at the door for a bit before finally looking up at Monsieur Neuvillette. It was a rare sight to behold, actually. He had frozen like a statue as he stared blankly at the door in front of him.

“Check back with me, when you processed this.” you stated, “This is a lot even for a human.”

You looked around the store room which was filled with mostly documents and books. It was big enough for two people to fit just so and had a single light on the ceiling. Thinking back you weren’t sure how you managed to get in this predicament but before you could try to analyze it further, Neuvillette stirred. Ahh, looks like he was coming back this way. It only took about five minutes.

“Ahh, Miss. Y/N, I’d like to apologize for them. I don’t know what they hope to accomplish by this but I promise they mean no ill will.”

“Of course not. Those little younguns couldn’t do ill will if they tried, mischievous on the other hand is another matter. Anyway, can’t you break down the door or something?”

Monsieur Neuvillette held his chin in thought, “Yes, easily. Though I hate to destroy such workmanship. It’s hardly the doors fault….”

You smack your lips together, “Well, unless a Hydro Dragon suddenly knows how to pick a lock, we don’t know exactly how long we will be here for. Besides, isn't this getting in the way of your business to attend to?

“Sedene clearly said they’d be back in an hour. My next meeting is scheduled for then. I don’t have any pressing matters right now. However, I would usually be using this time to get ahead on paperwork.”

“...Hm. So they planned this down to the letter. I mean can’t have the Chief Justice of Fontaine and its Iudex, missing important functions over….being locked in a closet, now can we?”

Neuvillette shook his head, “No, sounds quite lucidious to say it out loud like that.”

“Equally as ridiculous as our reality. However they should be lucky I’m not claustrophobic.”

Monsieur Neuvillette swung his eyes around to you, “Claustrophobic?”

“Yes, some humans will start panicking in a tight place. They begin to feel the wall closing in on them and such.”

Monsieur Neuvillette eyes widened at this, “Truly?! I hadn’t realized. And you are alright? I’ll break down the door immediately!”

You reached out a hand in front of him, “I said I was fine! I’m not claustrophobic, only mildly amused and mostly annoyed. The only thing I worry about is how dus…” You paused in the process of wiping a finger over a shelf, rubbing them together, “Not so much as a speck of dust. Most impeccable.”

“Of course not. I have learned that if left unattended a room like this will begin to rot. To take care of that, we have those hired to routinely clean spaces like this.”

“Nothing escapes you, does it?”

“Except for this.” He let out a sigh, “Rest assured, I shall have to give them a stern talking too.”

You head bobbed up and down once, as you managed to find a reasonably comfortable spot to lean on the wall.

Silence floated for a while before Neuvillette finally heaved a deep sigh, “Try as I might, I cannot see the reason for this insipid affair. Whatever possessed them to attempt this thing?”

You snorted once making lavender eyes lock with yours. When you didn’t say anything more Neuvillette asked, “Why do I feel like you have an idea? Can you not share it with me if that’s the case?”

You looked away then, “It would only be a theory at this point. I’d hate to paint them with conjecture.”

“Let us hear it anyway. We have nothing else to do, until then and besides I’d like a better picture of what is going on before I speak with them on this matter. Perhaps there are some critical clues I am missing.”

“....”

Neuvillette watched as you absently began to “arrange” the books on the shelf next to you, your eyes not meeting his. Meanwhile his lavender eyes did not depart from you.

A lull prolonged itself until…

“Miss. Y/N are you….embarrassed, perhaps?”

You snapped your head up, “What the-?! What makes you say that?”

“Well, you have…”

“I don’t want to play by play.” You interrupted knowing that Neuvillette was going to literally tell you all the actions he observed to arrive at this conclusion. It was bad enough that he was looking at you the entire time in expectation and equally bad that there was only room between you for a person to barely slip through.

You cleared your throat turning away, “Actually I was thinking about it and it might be kinda, slightly my fault.”

“I hardly doubt that but what do you feel you have done?”

“.....read….scene….idea….”

“Excuse me? Could you speak up?”

“I said….” You jerked your head up only to stop when you realized that Neuvillette had closed the distance between you and was looking down at you with furrowed eyebrows. Clearly he had gotten closer to hear you better but still.

You swallowed, snatching your eyes away from him, “I read the Melusines a story a little while ago.”

“Yes, that doesn’t sound so horrible. In fact, I thank you for taking time out of your day to spend with them.”

“Yes, yes, you're welcome. It’s fine. It’s just….they may have taken a story a little too…..realistically.”

“In what manner?”

“It was a romance story. One scene…the couple was trapped in a storeroom, you know?”

“I see. And what does this have to do with our predicament now?”

You almost banged your head on the shelf. You did not want to explain it in detail. Most humans would pick up and put two and two together. However, given that Neuvilletter wasn’t human, you couldn’t and didn't expect him to have two and two much less know to put them together in this instance.

You heave a sigh. That still didn’t mean you wanted to explain this.

“...I’m sorry. This is making you uncomfortable. We should cease talking about this then.”

You felt Neuvillette put as much space between you as he was able. Part of you was grateful. Being locked in a storeroom with Neuvillette of all people was doing nothing for your nerves although you pride yourself in comporting yourself regardless of the situation. You knew it really wasn’t fair to keep Neuvillette in the dark, especially when he genuinely did not have the pieces needed to put together the puzzle.

“It’s a common plot device in romance stories. When a couple is locked in a confined room it’s used to further their relationship.” You said this in one breath not looking up.

“....”

You could practically hear the gears in Neuvillette’s head turning.

“I see. They had hoped that our relationship would progress and that is why they did this.”

You hoped your laugh wasn’t forced, “What relationship? We don’t have one. We are just friends.”

“Yes, we are friends.”

You bobbed your head absently and just when you were beginning to find your footing, you felt Neuvillette move. Looking up, you startled to see him looming over you.

Wait, why was he even closer than last time?

Your throat went dry.

“Rest assured, I will still express my displeasure at such extreme methods but I shouldn't let their goodwill go to waste. I suppose they were getting tired of my lack of courage.”

“.....W-w-what are you talking about?”

Neuvillette lifted his arms and trapped you within, his hands holding onto the shelf in front of you.

Hold on! What is this situation?!

You were pretty sure that Monsieur Neuvillette had never read such a scene before so why was he an accomplished actor now?

You knew you were looking up at him like a trapped boar.

“I think I finally understand what message they were trying to send. I suppose they were getting tired of me taking my time. Had I had my way, I would still be taking time. Although I have an abundance of time, the fact is you do not. It’s unfair of me to continue to make you wait.”

By now your head and eyes were spinning. Why did it seem like this went from 0 to 100 real quick? You weren’t even following anymore.

“Miss. Y/N, when this is over, will you accompany me to dinner at Hotel Debord? Ah, I suppose I should convey my feelings first, shouldn’t I? Forgive me, allow me a minute to gather my bearings.”

You turned so your back was to the shelf, looking up at Neuvillette, “H-h-hold on! Aren’t you…? What are you even doing? We are friends…” Your eyes dart back and forth, “...aren’t we?”

“Of course, I am loath to lose our friendship but I confess I find myself thinking about…deeper things when it comes to us.”

“Y-y-you do?”

Of course you always like Monsieur Neuvillette but you’d never in your wildest dreams thought that a friendship with him could turn into more. You were just happy that he trusted you enough to become friends with you. The two of you had met through the Traveler actually. And being a Descender yourself, you had become privy to the fact that he was the Hydro Dragon. As the Traveler moved on to other nations with the goal of finding their sibling you lingered in Fontaine finding the nation agreeing with you. Fontaine eventually became your home base even as you travel to other nations. Unlike the Traveler you had no lofty goals in mind.

“I confess this is so. However perhaps I’ve been spending too much time pondering on the idea instead of acting on it. The Melusines must have picked up on my feelings.”

Ah, now that might explain why the Melusines went through a period of forcing you to read just about every romance book they could come across. Was this all research to help Monsieur Neuvillette?

Your previous annoyance at being locked in a storage room was quickly dwindling even from the little bit you had. You hoped that you hadn’t displayed any odd tendencies when Monsieur Neuvillette was concerned that the Melusines picked up on. You thought you had had an impenetrable shield.

“They had urged me to at least talk to you about it but I had refused. I wanted to ponder this a little more and see if it had merit. However, although I have learned more about humans, the complexities of this kind of thing still perplexes me. Sedene did present to me a list of findings about your behavior that made me think that perhaps you might feel more on the subject than you let on.”

You stiffened and replied in which you hoped with a coolness that belied your feelings, “Such as?”

“You have brought me meals when unasked for.”

“We are friends. I’m interested in your health and you are busy. Thought I’d help out here and there. There is nothing untoward about that.”

“You made some of them yourself.”

“Again, friendship.”

“I have no basis for such things. Perhaps friends do make each other meals. This was a thought I came to as well. Next, they have observed that when I leave, your gaze lingers.”

Your right eyebrow twitched, “....I’m making sure you leave.”

That sounded lame even to your ears but you challenged it by looking Neuvillette straight in the eye. You would not bend first.

“....and they have heard you give a…and I quote, ‘an heartrending sigh.’”

You would have spat at this and your face showed. You looked away folding your arms, “Denied!! What does a ‘heartrending sigh’ even sound like? I didn’t swoon like a maiden.”

“So you admit that you did in fact sigh?”

Your whole face twitched this time, “Denied! You need to do better than this! It’s all circumstantial at best!”

“Very well then. I’m not sure I should reveal this but….apparently, there were some Melusines in earshot when you and Navia were having a private conversation. They heard Navia ask when you were quote “going to make your intentions known.” And your reply was, and I quote, “When a boar flies and all the water in Fontaine is set on fire.””

Given that they were Melusines, in earshot was probably a generous term. You couldn’t help but to slap both hands over your face. Everything within you wanted to deny it but you couldn't very well make a liar out of both the Melusines and Navia.

Checkmate.

“Not to worry, I did admonish them about listening to private conversations such as those.”

“I should find the nearest volcano in Natlan and jump in it.”

Monsieur Neuvillette’s eyes widened as he placed his hands on your shoulders, “Don’t even joke about such things Y/N!”

You still hadn’t raised your head.

“Miss. Y/N, would it be wrong of us to try to see if our relationship can grow deeper?”

Your voice was muffled by your hands, “Why, you want it to?”

“Hm, I believe I would. You?”

“....I’m amenable to it.”

Monsieur Neuvillette’s mouth quirked, “I’m pleased to hear this. Won’t you look at me?”

“Maybe after we get out of here.”

Ahh, you were being shy about this. A chuckle escaped the Hydro Dragon. You reached one hand to slap him in the chest, “Hydro Dragon, Hydro Dragon, please be silent!”

The chuckle turned into a laugh then.

Then you felt him stepping away, “Very well. I know the benefits of having to gather oneself. We will have plenty of time to address this. Ah, what did you say to dinner?”

You turned away from him, as you dropped your hands from your face, once again “arranging” the books.

A small smile made its way to your face as you replied softly, “Sure. I’ll be there.”

#neuvillette #neuvillette x reader #genshin impact #genshin impact fanfiction #genshin impact fanfic

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just-my-latest-hyperfixation · 22 days

Note

CONGRATULATIONS ON 1,000 FOLLOWERS! That's absolutely wonderful! You deserve it.

1.) T. "I see you. I know you're watching me." // 2.) 🕶 Mafia AU // 3.) Writer's choice! Go wherever the muse takes you. // 4.) 📚 Book

Thank you so much! ❤️ Hitman Eddie and mob baby Steve are rapidly taking over my brain, so here's some more of them!

Poisoned honey

Rated: M

Words: 995

Tags: Mafia AU; Hitman Eddie Munson; Mob boss Richard Harrington; Blood and violence; Obsessive behavior; stalking; flirting; sexual tension

Notes: Part 1 | Part 2

The boss is in one of his moods.

Eddie endures the screaming with a stoic face - or as stoic as one can manage with a split lip and one eye swelling shut - and thinks to himself what a fucking joke it is. If anyone has a right to be mad, it's him.

The intel he got on the job was all wrong. The target arrived with backup, turning what was supposed to be a quick, clean affair into a bloodbath. Eddie still finished the job, of course. But the goods he was supposed to secure got destroyed in the fight, losing the boss a ton of money. Hence the yelling. And the name-calling. And the throwing things.

Eddie sidesteps the whisky tumbler that's hurled his way. It hits the wall, but he can feel the shards catch in his hair as it shatters into a million pieces. Jesus Christ. On days like this, he almost regrets getting into this.

Almost.

It's not easy, working his way into Richard Harrington’s inner circle. In the beginning, the asshole wasn't even aware Eddie existed. And even now that Eddie has his attention, he's still far from gaining his trust.

Eddie gets it, though. You don't become a mob boss by blindly trusting anyone.

And so Eddie has been biding his time, slowly weaseling his way into the group of Harrington's most loyal hitmen. The better part of a year passed before the boss even deemed him worthy of entering his office, but that’s okay. Every job brings him a little closer to his goal, and every time he sets foot into Harrington's villa is another occasion to catch a glimpse of the prize he's got his eyes on.

It's getting dark by the time he's dismissed. He should go home to lick his wounds, but the patio doors are open, and the rippling light and the scent of the hydrangea bushes lure him in. The night is warm, and with a bit of luck, his little nymph will be out by the water.

He's in one of the lounge chairs, hair wet and tousled, body draped into a robe against the breeze. The underwater lights illuminate his features. He has a book in his lap, and his brow is furrowed in concentration. Eddie stays in his hiding spot for a long while, watching graceful fingers leaf through the pages, watching pink lips part around inaudible words, and gets lost in his favorite fantasies.

Biting and sucking at those lips until they're plump and shiny, drawing the most beautiful pleas and moans from them. Maybe he'd leave those hands free, or maybe he'd tie them up, just to watch his little nymph struggle. Just to feel him squirm while Eddie covers that soft, tan skin in marks, leaving the traces of his ownership for everyone to behold.

“I see you. I know you're watching me.”

Eddie is so far gone in his own head, it takes him a moment to process that the words were directed at him. It takes even longer for him to realize who the voice belongs to.

The boy has marked his page and is looking straight at his hiding spot, lips curled into a smile.

“Why don't you come out and introduce yourself? It would only be polite.”

Soft hair falls into hazel eyes as the boy cocks his head. He looks so sweet, but Eddie knows that looks can be deceiving. He sees the coy glint in those eyes, sees the sharp edge to that smile. Knows that this is his last chance. He can turn away and save himself, or he can follow his little nymph's call and let himself be pulled into the depths.

Those eyes sparkle with satisfaction as he steps out of his hiding spot. Not waiting for an invitation, Eddie sinks down into the empty deck chair beside the boy's, lighting a cigarette and taking a pull.

“Eddie Munson,” he drawls and extends his right hand. “My pleasure.”

The boy quirks an eyebrow before reaching out - only instead of accepting the handshake, he snatches the cigarette from Eddie’s lips. His fingers brush the cut and it burns like gasoline.

“Steve. You know my last name, obviously.” Those perfect lips part to exhale a plume of smoke, hazel eyes assessing every inch of Eddie’s appearance. “What happened to your face?”

“Work accident,” Eddie shrugs. “Fell down some stairs.”

Steve huffs a laugh, a curt and cruel thing. “Yeah, right. You think I'm stupid? I know you’re one of my father’s dogs.”

Eddie feels his temper flare, snide reply already at the tip of his tongue. How he’s not a dog, doesn’t answer to any master.

Except, that isn’t true, is it?

He’d happily kill for this boy, would beg and crawl and debase himself. Has been doing exactly that, every day, for almost a year.

Steve smiles, sweet like poisoned honey, and takes another lazy drag of the stolen cigarette.

“You guys are all the same, huh? You think you’re so tough, so dangerous, but as soon as my dad tugs on your leash, you slink off with your tail between your legs. Pathetic.”

Eddie is nothing if not fast. With one quick movement, he has snatched the boy's wrist and pulled the cigarette back to his own mouth. He takes a long drag, pressing his lips against the soft skin of those fingers. When he pulls away, he makes sure to graze his teeth over Steve’s knuckles. Those hazel eyes are huge, pupils deep and fuzzy, as they watch him stand.

“You like leashes, little nymph? Good. Hold on to that thought.”

Nothing has ever been harder than turning his back and walking away, but somehow he does it. Eddie prides himself in being good at his job, and much like his job, this is all about playing his cards right.

He intends to win, in the end.

He always does.

Part 4

More celebration ficlets

#steddie #steve x eddie #steve harrington x eddie munson #steddie fanfic #steddie brainrot #fanfiction writer #fanfiction #fanfic #my writing #hype's 1k follower ficlets #kiss that ring #mafia AU

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justarandompersononthehellsite · 2 months

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So... @muffinlance wrote a really awesome story. I read a post from a point in time, though I truly do not remember when since it seems like I've been working on this project forever, saying that she gives blanket permission for people to print and bind the story into a book (I think there was an also addendum saying that they do not give permission to be sold, since selling fic is illegal). This fic has had total control over my whole brain since it was sent to me (@creatorofthemind I believe it was you, so thank you forever for tuning me into it) back during the days of like chapter six or seven.

So here I am now, sharing this amazing journey of my first ever bookbinding adventure. Further reading below.

So to give you an idea of what's going on, this is a fanfiction about Zuko (Avatar the Last Airbender) (animated show version, the LA show did not exist yet and we do not speak of the movie) being adopted by Hakoda, Father of Katara and Zuko. (This might have also been what kicked off the Give Zuko A Parent craze, but don't fact check me.)

Overall, the characters from the show stick very well to the cannon versions, but where MuffinLance really shines is in the rich backstories and fleshed out feeling of all the non cannon elements. Especially the background characters. I would argue that the writing in this peice of fanwork could easily rival the cannon show at many points of comparison.

Now that you have context, we can get into the actual process.

To start, I used this guide to figure out where to even begin, and fount the included resource list to also be quite helpful. I cannot for the LIFE OF ME figure out where I found the template I used for the front matter and such, but it must be somewhere and I will link to it when I inevitably come across it again.

Then I began to typeset. This step took... a long time. I worked in chunks from about September of 2022 to late March of 2024. I would get a big section done, sometimes even the entire thing, but then find I hated the way I had done it and give up for months at a time. Such is the life of ADHD and flitting interest in projects I suppose.

And then finally, step one was done, and I was left with pages on a word document that look like this. (And do please let me know if you want the link to the document. It was so much work, and I would love to not be the only one to use it.)

Next step was printing out this beast. Ended up being about eight pages of front matter, and about 630 pages of body text.

That I printed wrong.

Twice.

Before finally getting it right. And then not getting a picture of it, because I finished at 4 am and had work at 7, and am also an idiot.

Then I simply stitched along, putting everything together into a beautiful text block.

And came up with a design for the cover.

Yes the glue did end up lumpy. Ignore it.

Yes I did have to sketch out the design onto a scraped page several times before I figured out what I was doing. Ignore that too.

The cover design does wrap around the entire cover. No I did not get a picture before I glued the thing down. See again: I'm an idiot. And just... massively impatient.

Finally, we get to the stage of gluing. Behold, my bookpress.

Of course, topped with Madam MuffinLances own actual professional-people book, Fox's Tounge and Kirin's Bone. It is Excelent. Here is the LINK so you can go and support this amazing author with the real-monies as well as the internet-kudos.

Then, once everything is glued together, one must give the book its "gilt" edges.

#atla #salvage #bookbinding #fanbinding #muffinlance #I'm a really big fan of this story and the characters ok?#They're really fun and I love them.

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silassinclair · 8 months

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Michael's Girl PT. 4 \\ PolyLostBoys + Michael x Reader

Summary: The final test. CW: Murder, Blood, Traumatic Events, Gore Mention

AN// I'M SORRY IT'S BEEN MONTHS SINCE I UPDATED, LOWKEY FORGOT I WAS A FIC AUTHOR. BUT I'VE BEEN SO BUSY WITH ENLISTMENT PROCESSES AND STUFF SO HERE IT IS!! PART 4.

Previous Part <- 🖤 -> Next Part

It's been a few days since Y/n was forced to witness a bloody massacre right before her very eyes. But it was all apart of David's test, so she had no choice but to endure the newfound trauma that will forever be staining her brain. Luckily Michael was always there by her side, every nightmare she had she would be awoken with small kisses to her face or warm arms around her waist. So after a few days Y/n stopped having nightmares about the event with the surf nazis.

Of course she'll never fully recover but she can stand it now. But no longer does imagery of blood and gore cloud her mind constantly. It’s almost as if it never happened.

"Y/n it's almost 8. We should head out soon." Michael says while tying his shoes. His girlfriend sighs and sits down at the kitchen table as Michael finishes tying his shoe.

A look of confliction is on her face. On one hand she loves Michael so much that she'd sacrifice her humanity to be with him forever, but on the other she knows she'll eventually have to kill her own prey.

Kill other human beings with her bare hands.

"Y/n!"

She snaps up and looks at Michael with wide eyes. "Y-Yeah? What is it?"

The brunette lets out a sigh and he sits next to Y/n at the table. He gently grabs her head and presses it to his shoulder to lean on.

"I’ve called your name like, 7 times… Something is on your mind. You have that look on your face." He says, reading her like an open book.

Y/n hides her slight shock and just nods lightly. "Yeah... There's been a lot on my mind lately."

"Well you can tell me anything okay? I'm here for you. After all we're going to be together forever right?"

Y/n smiles at the thought of being with Michael forever. And if this is the case then she should be more open with him. She lets out a small sigh and looks up at Michael who he looks at her curiously.

"I know when I turn I'll have to hunt and kill my own prey eventually." She says, avoiding using the word "people" or "humans".

Michael's expression is unreadable as he stares off straight ahead into nothing. But he does nod.

"You're right. I won't be able to hunt for you forever. But you'll get used to it. Just hunt bad prey okay? Bad people who deserve to die. That's what I do. I don't kill innocents, not like the other guys." Michael says with a small smile as he nudges his girlfriend's shoulder.

Y/n smiles up at him and kisses his cheek. "You always give the best advice Michael. What would I do without you?"

The clock struck ten and Michael and Y/n arrived at the cave. Everyone was already there with the turning preparations. David, Dwayne, Paul, Marko, the wine bottle, and a tied up human girl.

"Huh?!" Y/n says in shock. Low and behold there's a tan blonde young woman tied to David's wheelchair with ropes. Y/n's reaction to the victim causes David to smirk.

"Surprise! This is your final test Y/n." The head vampire says. "This woman here is going to be your first kill." He snickers and gestures to the frightened woman who thrashes in the restraints.

"YOU MOTHERFUCKER!"

Michael charges at David furiously and throws a mean punch to his chiseled face, causing him to stumble backwards. Dwayne, Paul, and Marko immediately move to help their eldest brother but he shoves them all away.

"Get off me! I'm fine." David says with a growl. He glares at Y/n who is seen standing behind her boyfriend, clinging to his arm.

"This wasn't apart of my initiation! What the fuck is this?!" Michael glares at David with his piercing yellow vampiric eyes.

David shrugs and wipes the blood from his lip. "I decided I needed to up the difficulty. Make things more interesting for her, and for all of us. You're not gonna back down now are you Y/n? Think about Michael, think about how lonely he'll be without you being an immortal by his side."

His voice was like a taunting echo bouncing along the walls of Y/n's skull. It was ringing constantly like a bell, every chime, every word was painful to hear.

"N-No.. This isn't right. That lady is innocent!" She says with a wavering voice. Her confidence flew out the door along with part of her sanity. No way could she kill this woman. This isn’t what she signed up for. All she wanted was to be with Michael!

"You're going too fucking far David! Just let her turn and let the woman go." Michael snarls and gets in David's face. The platinum blonde stays standing straight and tall, even with a rabid looking Michael looking ready to rip him apart.

"You know I can't make this easy for her, or you. This is a test of trust, loyalty, and bravery. Whether you kill her Y/n or I kill you because you know who me and my brothers are."

Y/n stands frozen and afraid. Her thoughts were drowning away in a pool of fear and doubt. But Michael was there to keep her afloat. He is her rock as she is his.

"Like I'd even let you lay a fucking finger on her." Michael gets ready to pounce on David but he's suddenly held back by Dwayne and Paul, who both have him by both his arms.

"Now Y/n." David turns to said girl with an intimidating glare. "Make your choice. Kill or be killed. This is life darling. Not everything goes your way."

Y/n swallows and takes slow steps towards the woman in the wheel chair. When the bound woman sees this she starts thrashing around in her bindings, trying to break free. Her screams are muffled by a rag tied tightly around her mouth.

"I'm sorry. I-I have to do this… Please forgive me!"

Y/n grabs a decorated knife adorned in authentic gems that lay on a small table next to her. She holds the knife and stands before the woman. The girl raises the knife and shuts her eyes and makes a slash straight ahead, not knowing whether she hit the woman or not. The blade was so sharp that it felt as cutting through air. Y/n feels the blade contact something but she doesn't know what because the touch felt so light. All she hears is muffled screaming that slowly dies down.

"Open your eyes." The husky voice of David says in her mind.

Y/n hesitates and opens her eyes slowly, the first thing she sees is red. A blur of red. Then everything becomes clear. The woman in the wheelchair is dead, her throat slit open with blood oozing out. And in Y/n’s hand is the bloody weapon that was used to end the poor woman’s life.

Y/n screams and drops the knife. When she accidentally looks into the dead woman’s eyes she feels her heart drop to her stomach. The woman has a permanent look of betrayal. Her green eyes no longer shine, rather they are dull and lifeless. Her throat is drowned in a sea of red and so are her clothes. The sight is gruesome.

"Y/n!" Michael shouts and breaks free of Dwayne and Paul's grip. He rushes over to his girlfriend who sinks into despair. As she slowly drops to the ground Michael kneels beside her and holds her to his chest. Her broken sobs are muffled in his chest.

"You're fucking disgusting for doing this to her. I'll never fucking forgive you David." Michael says with a primal growl.

The other three vampiric brothers have seemingly unreadable expressions. The usually chipper Paul and Marko seem awkward and Dwayne looks like he'd rather be anywhere else. The cries of the young woman make their undead hearts break. But why did they feel this way? Perhaps it was because they knew Y/n was going to be their future vampiric sister bound by blood. And seeing her in such disarray pulls their heart strings in all the wrong directions.

"It had to be done Michael. She needed this." David kneels in front of Michael and Y/n. He places his cold gloved hand on Y/n's hair making her flinch into Michael's hold. Instantly, Michael smacks David's hand away. His glare is sinister and out of character. Michael was the most humble and sweet out of the vampires but now he looked like a real beast. His arms clung possessively around his whimpering mate.

"Give me the fucking wine so she can turn. Once she turns into a full vampire then Y/n and I are leaving." Michael utters hauntingly, striking fear into David. David is frozen when he hears Michael. "You can't leave. We're all bound by the same blood, we're a pack." He says as he tries to hide the desperation in his voice. Having anyone leave his pack would break David. He may seem like a lone wolf but in reality he loves and cherishes his pack. And losing a member and a potential member would kill him inside.

"I don't care. Y/n is mine and I am hers. We only need each other."

The other three vampires look to David, wanting to know what he'll do.

"Y/n will drink the blood tonight then... But she's still apart of our pack. If she wishes to stay with us she will, and if she stays you will stay. However if she wishes by the end of her half cycle to go with you then you and her may leave. But you cannot return." David announces with authority.

Michael looks down at Y/n who seems to have fallen asleep from severe mental strain and exhaustion. He caresses her cheek softly and looks up at David. "Alright. Deal." Michael reaches his hand to David, which David takes firmly in his own and gives a stiff shake.

GUESS WHO'S BACK BITCHES 👹💅 I've had months and months of writers block but I'm finally back! Plus it being October really put me in the mood to update this series. In the future I may not upload for this series as often as I like to because I plan on making oc x reader content. But don't worry, I'll still write for the Lost Boys!!

#the lost boys #the lost boys x reader #poly!lost boys x reader #poly lost boys x reader #michael emerson x reader #david the lost boys #paul the lost boys #dwayne the lost boys #marko the lost boys #the lost boys 1987 #vampire x reader

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jaylleoo14 · 6 months

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Thinking of a punk Floyd and cottage core Jade, and sometimes they would switch styles to throw people off >:3 (Also can we please ignore that Floyd literally has so much drabbles-) Look, if you've read my DNI already you should be familiar that I do like more of these darker and toxic topics/tropes in fiction. But I was thinking of a bullying one where the tweels try and make you more dependent on the other so they could trap you ukno? Now personally, sometimes I dont think i’m too big on like the bulliedxbully but LIKE AHHHHHHHHHHH omgomgomgomogmg the brain is ROTTING!!! Punk Floyd bullying you into having you to rely on Jade and Jade cooing you with sweet words as he comforts you, only to bring you back to Punk Floyd. Or Cottage Core Jade manipulating a situation or spreading some false rumors about you to have you get into a fight, only for Floyd to be around and save you from the situation. And its just the same repetitive process till you slowly break and become theirs.

The only way to have Floyd become nicer to you is to start hanging out with him more. But you dont want to hang with him, I mean, who'd want to hang out with their bully am I right? Though Jade's piercing words make you reconsider because he isn't going to be there to comfort you forever. You might as well be on better terms with him. So you do. You try to fearfully make an effort to get along with Floyd, and surprisingly why is he a lot nicer than before? Yea sure he still teases you and treats you a little roughly but he acts a bit more tender than before and much more mindful. Around this time though you begin to become wary of Jade. Sometimes you seek refuge in Floyds arms because of the things Jade tends to say, and with these two scary guys hanging around constantly, you seem to get more isolated from your friends. Jades work behind the scenes to spread some little "words' ' towards your friends and every time you come back to hang out and talk with them they inch away further. Their faces are shown with a mix of fear or discomfort. And you know this is Jades doing because he's always there when you turn around. He knows you know. But could you honestly blame them? They just love you so much! They want you to themselves, and yes they have shared nasty fights about it but the results came in and lord and behold. It's on a positive note that they will be sharing you. Maybe not so positive for you, but very delightful for them. They just love that fearful look in your face, the frustrated tones in your voice, and how adorable and cute you look overall. Not only that but Floyd loves it when he cages his arms around you whenever he teases/roughly plays around with you. And Jade loves it when you go to him, burying your tear filled face into his chest or shoulders from the aftermath of Floyds bullying. I can imagine Floyd getting all whiny a little after as he comes over seeing you hugging Jade trying to seek some sort of comfort and that satisfied look on his face. Jades brushing your hair as you continue to cry in his wool knitted sweater and now Floyds is just irritated. He's coming over and pulling you off of Jade in such a forceful manner that it catches you to stop crying for a moment. He's holding you close to himself and slightly aggressively patting your back like one would to calm down a baby, positioning you on his lap for a more comfortable hold. "Ahhhhh jeez stop huggin' Jade like that. Here, look, I'm sorry okay? Shhhhh just be quiet now." His hold on you is tight, as if wanting you to just let him do this. Like he's always done. Though it doesnt exactly help with your tears. "Oh look, you're making them even more scared fufufu." God you hate this. The way you have no one else to turn to other than Jade and Floyd, but when Floyds around you cant help but hide yourself from Jade when he makes you feel a sort of humiliation. "Hm? Now lookit' here Jade, you're makin them all shy." Floyd brings his free hand to your head, pushing it down gently to the nook of neck with your stifled tears. "Shy" was the wrong word to describe it, but he knew that he was just underplaying it. "They're shaking," Floyd remarks. "It seems so. Is something wrong (y/n)?"

The audacity... THE AUDACITY OF HIM ASKING THAT! You have to be around them, its either one or the other. Because whenever you're not, they ensure that something happens just so you could go back to them once again. "Here, why dont you come into my arms (y/n)? I'll comfort you better like i've always done." Jades extending his arms out to grab a hold of you but Floyds tugging you away. "You've already got enough time with them, its my turn to have shrimpy to myself." You can only stiffen yourself a bit in his hold, continuing to just let yourself sit on his lap as you lay your head on his shoulders. Nothing but sniffles as you try and calm down. Jade is deeply displeased with this, a darker look shadowing over his face. “Oh? I’m pretty sure I was talking with (y/n). You should learn when to know who's talking to who Floyd.” You can feel a fight brewing up, slighting clenching your hand onto Floyds fishnets over his black shirt. “I dont give a fuck, shrimpy’s mine. Piss off.”

Floyds beginning to get into a nasty mood himself, and Jade is starting to also get heavily irritated with you being in Floyds arms instead of his. Though with a slightly strained smile but dark glinted eyes, Jade speaks in a low tone. “Yours? We agreed to share, and they certainly dont look comfortable-”

But before Jade could finish his sentence Floyd goes in and kisses your wet cheeks, his black lipstick smeared and now planted and marked on your wet cheeks. “Too late~” You were definitely caught off guard by this, a slight gasp squeezing out of you. And with that, Jade snaps. He’s pulling Floyds head back with the most viscous strength and Floyd lets go of you. You fall off of his lap so suddenly and so abashedly. Now on the floor, your eyes still being red and puffy, your cheeks being a tad bit moist from the leftover streaks of tears, and now a black kiss mark, you watch as the two brothers start to go all out on each other. Floyds going in for nasty punches and Jades pinning him down. Jade’s jealous. Ohhhh so jealous. Not once was he able to give you a kiss, but Floyd has? Not only that but he got to leave a mark of the kiss as well. Things are starting to get bloodied between the two with their completely enraged fistfight, throwing each other around and taking in powerhouse swings of kicks. The sheer monstrosities these two are, it only makes you wonder what else they are capable of. “S-Stop it!” You’re not quite sure why, but you felt the need to do something about this. If you just left, well it isn't that hard to make you come running back once things have calmed down. And just as intended, they stop mid-fight and turn to look at you. Floyds black eyeshadow and black lipstick are all smudged, his face bruised and scraped. Jade shares a similar look, his hair no longer neat and more ragged looking. Parts of their clothes are ripped and torn, Jade's fist is raised in the air as the other is clenched at the collar of Floyds shirt. Floyd has his foot dug into Jade's side, a hand on his neck and his hand clenched into a fist stopping mid air.

Shit, all you wanted to do was have them stop. But you never actually thought of what to do. You sat there on the floor, still shaken up by witnessing their short but brutal fight. And Jades the first to speak. “Ah, look how shooken up they are. Apologies, I didn't mean to show you such a perturbing sight of me.” Both Jades and Floyds grip on one another loosen up and they both look over at each other. And despite their beaten faces, without needing to speak another word it was like they both knew what to do with those unsettling big grins of theirs. “Ahhh I’m in so much pain because of Jade. He’s such a big meanie you know?”

“I find that hard to believe when I have all these bruises on me.” They both come back over to you, eerily crawling over. Another wave of fear is ushered out from your throat and you scoot yourself back, only for the both of them to lunge forward and grab your ankles to pull you towards them. “Hmm what's this? Are you trying to run away from us?”

“Yea, after all that fighting for you Shrimpy you want to run away?”

“You are the reason we fought.”

“Its only fair you settle it considering you were the one that started it~”

“W-what? I didn’t-” They both tug you down against them further, each one on your side. They wrap their arms so possessively around you and despite just having a fight, they seem to be having a more gentle approach towards you. “Hmmmm though It’s still unfair if Floyd gets to leave his lipstick on you, it bothers me. I want to leave something on you too…” His sudden low voice tickles your ear and you dont really know how to react to this situation. But your hearts beating a bit faster now, and they both seem to know what it is they were doing. “Hey hey shrimpy look at me,” with your head turned over to look at Floyd like he asks, he lets out a satisfied smirk sprawled onto his beaten and makeup smudged face. Jade on the other side goes into gently peppering kisses into your neck and slowly digging his teeth in, taking advantage of the open chance given from Floyd. You react strongly, and to ensure you stay in place they ensure to hold you more firmly. “Just a little nibble. Just a small one. I dont have lipstick on so I had to take other measures, apologies (y/n) fufu” They’ve never made such big romantical advancements like this before, if you can call it romance. If so, then it’d be a very very messed up version of one. But in their arms like this, it felt so comforting. Why have you only been in one's arms when you could have been in both? This has just been so exhausting, and with somewhat mixed feelings despite all that had happened, you go in and kiss Jade on the head. “WHAT?! THAT'S SO UNFAIR!!!” Quickly, you go over to kiss Floyd on the forehead too and he’s quickly more pleased, a pout still forming on his face however since you didn’t pick him to kiss first. Tired. That's all that you are right now. And to just please them, you indulge yourself to them as well. And with the three of you tired, you just lay on the floor with you starting to doze off. And Jade and Floyd start to become content snuggling themselves next to your sides. What reason was there to bully you when you’ve already accepted the situation now, you were theirs, and they’ll make sure everyone knows that. Starting with you.

Hehehehehe I love the tweels >:3 i wouldn’t mind if Floyds lipstick was smudged on my cheek hehehe ^w^ (Or sandwiched in between them) I mean why pick one when you can have both! Indulging in myself because I deserve it🤞🤞

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ohtobeleah · 1 year

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Best Worst Christmas // Jake Seresin

Summary: After some life altering news. You confide in Hangman which leads you to ticking off something incredibly important on your bucket list.

Warnings: Terminal illness. Mentions of death. Dark humour. Jake Seresin x Reader. Angst & fluff—Jake being just the best version of himself.

Word Count: 4.8k

Author Note: TRUST ME TO DO THIS. Because we can’t have anything nice here. Even at Christmas time. Got this idea from Bianca’s story line from Shameless. Not your typical happy go lucky Christmas fic.

Slow motion. Everything seemed to move in slow motion. From the way Bob brought the lip of his glass of lemonade up to his mouth to hide his infectious smile to the way Bradley twirled Phoenix under his arm and pulled her into his side. Dancing to whatever song had been blaring from the jukebox.

Slow. Slow and silent. You couldn't hear a single thing beside the high pitched ringing in your ears that sounded like just the right pitch to break the glass of the windows out front. No laughter, no music, no mundane chatter from other patrons littering the Hard Deck on this oh so average Friday afternoon.

Except there was nothing average about being told just forty five minutes ago that you were dying. Merry Fucking Chrismas.

“I'm sorry, Payback.” You shook your head softly as you blinked a few times, the ringing in your ears clearing as everything seemed to come back into real time, sound and all. “What did you say?”

“I said you don't look so good, Jake mentioned you left early for a doctor appointment off base, you good?”

“What is Hangman doing with my name in his mouth?” You spat before you took what was left of your beer into your mouth, skulling the burnt amber liquid like there was no tomorrow. For you there really wasn't all that much time left. Paying attention to how your liver processed alcoholic beverages had become an afterthought. “But yeah, I uh– I did.”

“Something any of us should be worried about?” Payback had always been a kind and gentle soul. You envied his passion for all things Christmas. His ugly Christmas sweater told you everything that you needed to know, his was down bad for the holiday season. “Nut?”

“Everything’s just peachy keen Fitch, you don't gotta worry about me.” You tried your best to hide the ever mounting pressure you felt in your chest through a pained smile and soft gaze. “But–” You held your empty glass up as you twirled around on the barstool you'd been sitting on. “I'm tapped so I'm gonna grab another beer and then you and I are gonna have a game of pool once shit for brains is finished showboating.” Reuben followed where your eyeline had evidently landed and low and behold there stood none other than Jake Seresin, claiming his title as undefeated pool champion with a grin so prominent on his face it made you feel sick to your stomach. “Be right back.”

You slid off the stool and fixed the ‘Christmas’ dress that had been sticking to the back of your thighs. It wasn't anything special, just a red mid length dress that fit the Christmas attire that had been mandated but Reuben Fitch himself. Head and only member of the party planning committee. It wasn't anything special, but at least the dress was red, right?

You'd been excited for the staff Christmas party for months up until the moment your doctor had sat you down and handed you a one way ticket to the afterlife. You thought maybe the reason you'd been feeling so unwell over the last few weeks had been an imbalance in your birth control or a shift in seasons or just something, anything other than what your final prognosis had ended up being.

“What can I get you Nut?” Penny asked when she saw you leaning against the bar, card in hand, swinging on the barstool. “The usual?”

“Uh can I get a double Jamison please Pen, on the rocks if you could.” Penny got to work fixing up your order as Jake slipped in beside you. Not turning his head in your direction as he fished his wallet out from the back of his jeans as he sat. The stupid matching Chrismas shirt he wore with Bradley looked ridiculous on him. Only Bradley Bradshaw could pull off a Christmas themed Hawaiian shirt. It wasn't Hangman's usual attire, it looked idiodic on him in the best way possible.

“Another beer if you can Penny, extra tenner on the bar for you too.” Jake was, if anything, a charmer at heart. But despite his ability to smooth talk his way out of any situation and into anyone that had a hole he could put it in, you couldn't stand him. “You seem even more shrewd than usual this afternoon there Nut, not feeling the Christmas cheer?” and he couldn't stand you either. Or so you both led on.

“Bit me.” Penny slid you the class, brown bourbon had never tasted so good before as you downed the double shot you ordered before slamming the glass back down. It wasn't the best move you could have made because the second you swallowed? Your stomach churned. “I gotta go.” You were quick for a woman who could barely walk in heels, racing towards the nearest exit without so much as causing a scene. Leaving Jake in your dust as he almost gave himself whiplash trying to crain his head fast enough to keep up.

“Wait, hold on the parties just getting started?” Jake took the beer bottle from Penny, being gentleman enough to say a quick thankyou her way before making a dash after you towards the front door. “Nwet hold on!” Your call sign had you as the Goddess of the sky. The name originating from Egyptian Mythology, but for some reason or another that had been shortened even further. Everyone just called you Nut for short.

“Not now Hangman, I’m serious I’m not fee–” You didn't get a chance to finish your sentence before you were throwing up the contents of your stomach in the nearest pot plant on the front deck. Down on your knees as your hands gripped at the ceramic. Coughing and splattering as Jake put his beer down on the railing and balled your hair into his first to keep it from falling into the backsplash.

“Alright, I'm cutting you off killer, how much have you had to drink?” Jake crouched down beside you as you sat back on your heels, whipping your mouth on your forearm. “You good?”

“Get me another drink and I'll be even better.” You had heard loud and clear what Jake had said but just chose to ignore it. You didn't have much choice anymore. Jake just looked at you like you were on another planet. His eyes wide as his mouth fell slightly open in shock. There weren't many people who could render Jake Seresin speechless–but you always seemed to manage.

It was the same look he gave you whenever you'd get into a heated argument over training sessions or whenever you’d go head to head in another one of your PTI’s latest workouts. The same look he gave you when you said you were fine when you had to miss the last few days of flight training, the same look he gave you when he found you making your doctor's appointment in the rec room between his runs. He looked at you like you hung the stars in the night sky just for him and once he’d finished admiring them you'd knock them out of the sky just to watch them shatter before him. Unpredictable and oh so beautiful.

“Uh, no–I'm not gonna get you another drink when you're throwing up in Pennys plants.”

“It's not the alcoholic, Jake.” You sighed out in response as you pressed your palm to your forehead.

“It most definitely is I can smell it on yo–” You didn't know why, out of all the people you could have told first. Your Parents, Your Commanding Officers, any of your colleagues that seemed more and more like family every day, you chose Jake fucking Seresin to drop the biggest life ending bomb on. The worst Christmas Present ever. Deep deep down you knew exactly why. But there was no time left to figure it out now.

“Jake it's not the Alcohol.” You cut him off, shutting your eyes as tight as you could because you couldn't look at him when you told him. “It's cancer.”

“What?” When you opened your eyes again Jake's expression had softened to something you’d never seen before. “What do you mean it's cancer?” This couldn't really be happening could it? You wouldn't be cruel enough to play such a sick joke on him. But with the way you were looking at him right now? Jake felt his heart collapse into his stomach. The love of his life had cancer? “What do you mean by cancer Y/n?” Jake repeated as he brushed your hair away from your shoulder. “You aren’t being serious right now are you?” You didn’t respond right away because you were stunned at the saddened and stunned look Hangman had been stricken by.

“What I mean by cancer is that I have a shelf life.” You tried to make the moment a little more lighthearted. “A cosmic fuck you when you were just getting started huh.” It was the hardest thing you'd ever done, to sit in front of the man you loved to hate and hated to love and tell him you were dying. You hadn’t even had a chance to see what you could have been. You'd both been too caught up playing the long con that you'd wasted whatever time you had.

“What's the uh–?” Jake didn't know how to ask as he stood with you and moved over to the nearest table that was clear and free. “What's the prognosis?”

“Stage three Pancreatic–well basically stage four but—” Silence fell as Jake sat beside you completely stunned. His mind was running a million miles an hour, thinking of all the times you’d smiled at him. Beamed his way whenever he taunted you or teased you for something stupid and meaningless. You took everything like a champ because you could dish it out in return. He’d learnt to expect an elbow to the ribs whenever you had this one particular look in your eye.

“And what's the going rate for stage three?” Jake wanted to hear you say at least something promising, but that wasn’t the case at all.

“Two Percent, Doc said even that was being generous.” His heart stopped for a moment. This wasn’t happening, not to you. Not to the one woman he had ever loved.

“Okay but what about chemo? What about other treatments that could surely raise that number up right?”

“Oh, I ah–I don't wanna do any treatment.” That knocked the wind right out of Jake, he felt like he couldn't breathe. Like the entire world had just been knocked out from under his feet. “I saw what it did to my friend's mother Cathy, she spent whatever time she had left being pumped full of poison, because of it she became so weak she couldn't enjoy the things she could have been while she still had time.”

“You can't not try Y/n.” Jake had moved as close to you as he possibly could. So much so it was easy enough for you to accept your own mortality with your head resting gently on his shoulder. “It's probably really selfish of me to say this but I'm not ready to just let you go.”

“Please, spare me the hallmark card sympathies Seresin.” Scoffing, you took the beer bottle Jake had been sipping infrequently on. Taking a gulp of the yeasty beverage. “I don't need you treating me any differently now that you know I'm practically worm food.” It was the way Jake looked at you like he couldn't believe what you had just said. Did you expect him not to laugh or something? Strifally back a laugh so pure Jake waited for you to crack first, the symphony of highs and lows that sounded like the most prim and proper orchestra surrounded him as you laughed with him.

“When did you find out? You seem to be dealing with the inevitability of it all well.”

“About fifty minutes before I told you.” The smile had been whipped clean from Jake's face once again. The laughter that had just filled the atmosphere around you both now replaced with silence so heavy you were sure you had just been buried alive. “I haven't told anyone, and I wasn't planning to either.”

Although you and Jake pretended most days to loathe each other's existence, there was no real animosity there. It was simply a childish act. Your mother had told you at an early age that boys who pulled your pony tail on the playground at school must have liked you. So you learnt play rough too, showing your affection by taunting and teasing between lingering eyes and daydreams of what it would be like to be with Jake as more than just whatever the fuck you were.

“Why did you tell me? I mean I thought I would have been the last person on earth you would have spilled your darkest secrets to.” Jake felt nothing but content when you let your head fall back to his shoulder. He decided this time though to wrap a comforting arm around you—drawing you further into his side.

“Believe it or not you were the first person who came to mind when I was told.” You'd thought about what Jake would say. If he’d even say anything at all when he found out, if he’d change the way he treated you or if there would be a small part of him that would be relieved that you wouldn't be around to annoy him anymore or challenge him whenever he thought he was better than you. “I thought maybe you’d be a good person to tell because you wouldnt look at me like I was weak.”

“If there’s one thing you are, it's not weak.” Jake shook his head as he finished the remains of his beer. Standing as he offered you a hand. “Come on, we’re getting out of here.”

“What? Where are we going?” You didn’t protest all that much—knowing what Jake had in mind was probably better than wallowing in self pity. You took his hand gracefully as he guided you to stand, meeting his gaze yet again.

“We’re gonna go back to your place—“

“Oh, as if you would.” You cracked a smile as Jake looked at you a little confused. “I’m dying Hangman, don’t get that confused with desperate.” It wasn’t that you wouldn’t, you would in a heartbeat—but the feeling you got from your back and forth taunting just made the prize all the more worth it. Jake just stood in front of you, eyes trailing from your gaze to your lips then back to

Your eyes. Committing every last detail of your face to his long term memory.

“I didn’t mean it like that, but we’re going back to yours.”

“I told Payback I’d play a game of pool with him.” You explained as you tried to push past Jake, all he did was grip your wrist, stopping you from getting any further away from him. “Jesus Christ Jake what has gotten into you?” You stood there questioning his sudden need to be overbearing.

“You just told me you have terminal cancer and you’re asking me what’s gotten into me! Jesus Y/n.” Jake let go of your wrist as he ran his hands through his hair, extinguishing a frustrated sigh as he looked anywhere but directly at you when he let his guard down. Nothing good ever came with Jake Seresin let his guard down, so he didn’t do it all that often. “I was just told the woman I’ve been obsessed with for the last year is dying and there’s literally not a single thing that I can do to stop it!” You let your walls down almost instantly at the confirmation, softening your shoulders and letting yourself just enjoy the satisfaction of the moment you thought would never come. Jake knew you were thinking—he could practically see the cogs turning in your head as you stood before him smirking a bashful smile. Suddenly doe eyed and willing to step a little closer. “What?” Jake scoffed as his lips curled into a smile that matched yours. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“So you’re obsessed with me huh?”

“That’s your take on this whole situation?”

“Oh yeah—“ Wrapping your arms around the back of Jake's neck you drew him all the more closer as his hands instinctively went to your hips. “Because I didn’t have to admit that I’m obsessed with you first.” You really didn’t give him a second to respond with some witty remark on how he was just saying it because he felt sorry for you—instead you let your lips press against Jakes softly. Testing the waters before diving into the deep end. Pulling back as you slowly opened your eyes. “It’s not fair of me to ask you to love me, especially knowing what you know—“ It was Jake's turn to cut you off before you could try and talk him out of spending whatever time you had left right by your side. His lips connected with yours as his hands came up to cup your cheeks as your tongue danced with his. Savoring every second because you’d always wondered what type of kisser Jake Seresin was. The answer? He knew what he was doing.

“Doesn’t mean I won’t.” Pulling away momentarily Jake tan the pads of his thumbs across your flushed cheeks. “How long?” Jake didn’t really want to know the answer but he knew deep down it wouldn’t be long.

“Anywhere between six months to a year.” It broke your heart the way Jake dropped his chin slightly at the realisation. “Depends on my lifestyle.”

“Then I’m gonna be by your side for the next six to twelve months.” Jake promised as he held his hand up to wrap his pinky with yours. “Till the end of the line.”

***~***~***~***~***~

Not a single person had seen you or Jake leave the Hard Deck unannounced. Payback had texted you a few times before you decided enough was enough and sent him a quick message saying you were with Jake before placing your phone on do not disturb.

“Okay so you’re sure this one has the built in lighting?” Jake asked just one more time as you both stood back and looked at the piles of broken down Christmas tree that you’d sectioned into piles on your living room floor.

“For the millionth time, yes—“ You’d leant Jake a pair of your ex’s old sweatpants that you’d forgotten you had until he was long gone. They fit snug, but well. In true Hangman style though? He was parading around your house, shirtless. Sweats hanging low leaving very little to the imagination.

“Okay well, let’s start by fanning these prongs out before we attach anything to the trunk.” You’d changed into your Christmas pajamas—a cartoon version of the grinch saying it’s about to get naughty right across your chest. Jake had thought your house would be full of Christmas decorations by now—always the life of every holiday season. But when he stepped through the threshold and saw you hadn’t been bothered he knew that had to change.

Especially if there was a possibility this could be your last Christmas.

“You got your tree up yet?” You asked as soft melodies of Christmas songs played from your speaker, filling the living room as you and Jake sat on the ground amongst a sea of fake Christmas tree. Jake nodded softly as he worked to fluff out the prongs.

“Yep, had it delivered the first of November—got a real one this year.”

“Yeah you would be the type of person to have a real tree wouldn’t you.” It’s not that you had anything against it, it’s just that a real tree always seemed like so much work. “But if I get the chance to see next Christmas, I’ll get a real one.”

“We can go Christmas tree shopping, new ornaments and all.” Jake offered as his pile grew a little faster then yours. “How come you hadn’t put your tree up yet?” He asked, perplexed. “You’re always drowning on about how the holidays are your favourite time of year.” You didn’t answer right away, you were going to make up some lame excuse but then you remembered Jake Seresin was the o my other person besides you general practitioner that knew you were dying. You could tell him.

“I just haven’t really had the energy to.”

“The cancers the reason you haven’t been flying as much isn’t it?”

“Yep.” You popped your lips at the P. “Probably won’t be too long now before I’m stuck behind some desk in the admin building doing some mundane Johnny pencil pusher projects.” Sighing, you reached for another set of prongs. “Even a swivel chair will eventually make me gag—I don't know how much longer I’ll be able to withstand G’s and barrel roll.”

“Well damn Nut, who’s gonna keep the top of my head from popping off?” Jake teased as he came to sit beside you, leaning back on the couch as he legs fell either side of you. Your back to his chest as he took the prongs you were working on from your hands and finished it himself. “You’ve always kept my ego from inflating.”

“God help the crew when I’m dead and gone.” You chuckled softly as you left your sink into Jake's embrace. “You’ll just have to remember who’s the goddess of the sky, I’ll still be around to kick your ass.”

“Oh yeah? How are you gonna manage that killer?”

“I’ll wiggle your ear whenever you do something stupid.” You grinned, reaching up and around to wiggle Jake's earlobe. “Like that, whoever you get a little too hot headed, you’ll feel me.”

“Deal.” Jake smiled softly as he kissed your shoulder from behind. “Now, while I’ll sit here fanning these things out, why don’t you make a list of all the things you wanna do between the next six to twelve months?”

“Like a bucket list?” You asked softly as you lulled your head back to catch the glint in Jake's eyes.

“Exactly, whatever you wanna do, I’ll help you do it.” You really couldn’t stop yourself from smiling. Settling back against Jake you started listing off things in your notes app.

“I wanna get a tattoo, something stupid but meaningful—maybe even just something funny.” You’d end up getting a matching tattoo with Jake a few weeks later. Both in the same spot, on your tricep just above your elbow. Two hands pinky promising—till the end of the line written in calligraphy.

“Solid plan, I approve, what else Nut?” Jake reached for another pile to fluff up, almost having made his way through all the pieces.

“I wanna skinny dip at the beach, at night, or even when the suns just starting to set.” Jake takes you. You both strip down and race towards the waters edge. You wrestle and fight until you're hooking your legs around his waist and your arms around his shoulders. Kissing him like you’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain. His hands hold you up by your ass—and you squeal when a rogue wave knocks you both down. “I’ve always wanted to do that.”

“Shameless Y/l/n, but deal—what’s next.” You add about six different things onto your list, telling Jake every single one as you both stand to place all the pieces of your tree together. Deciding that you were both committing to the entire project together. Making a trip into your garage for the ornaments.

“Maybe I should have a threesome?” You held the ladder at the bottom of your manhole Jake had climbed up into to fetch the seasonal box. “Yeah, never had one of those before but maybe it’s worth checking out.”

“Two guys or one guy and one girl?” Jake handed you the box before he jumped down with a soft thud. “Or you and two girls?” You just raised a brow in response. “Hey—“ Jake was quick to hold his hands up in surrender. “I dunno what your sexual preferences are! I’m just being inclusive.” He sent you his signature shit eating grin. “But uh, pencil me down for whatever you decide.”

“You wouldn’t be included in the girl on girl fantasy.” You gained back as Jake took the box back from you, walking side by side down the hall back to your living room.

“But you’re saying there’s a chance I’d be included in the other two choices.” You never do end up having a threesome, it never actually makes the list. “Can’t say I haven’t dreamed of that a few times.”

“Really? Funny that, I had a dream that I dropped you down a well just the other night.” You didn’t even look Jake's way as you fished out a few ornaments and started hanging them on the tree. Jake followed curiously. “And get here you are dreaming of having sex with me?”

“I definitely like my dream a lot better—“ You couldn’t hold back your laugh as you shook your head, turning on your heels to fetch more ornaments.

“I’m not having sex with you Hungman.” Jake raised his eyebrows in response to what you’d called him over your shoulder. “Isn't that what they all call you?”

“Seems a little rude, and also short sighted.” He was quick to wrap his arms around your waist from behind, kissing your neck as you tried to pull away. Secretly enjoying the affection you could have been experiencing for a whole year before now. “Add it to your list.”

“I’ll reluctantly add it to my list.” It didn’t take you and Jake all that much time to finish decorating your Christmas tree. Stepping back to admire your work, you turned on the lights and dimmed down your overheads. Jake held his fist out for your to fist bump before he drew you into his side. You had told Jake you’d add to fuck him onto you bucket list—he even watch your write something down into your notes. But it wasn’t that. No—it was something much better.

“Best worst Christmas ever, don’t you think Nut?”

“Best worst Christmas ever Hangman.” Turning into Jake you kissed him once again, only for a fleeting moment. “Thankyou for this, just being here—I felt like I was drowning at the bar.”

“Like I said, till the end of the line.” Kissing the top of your head, you asked Jake to say the night, it was the first time Jake Seresin had slept in the same bed as a woman and he didn’t fuck her. All he did was hold you till you fell sleep—and that’s when for only a few brief moments he let himself cry. He loved you, truly.

***~***~***~***~***~***

Eighteen Months Later //

“Are you thick or are you fucking stupid Rooster!?” Jake barked as he walked down the tarmac towards his wingman. “I said break right and follow back and under—talley two at five o’clock low means exactly that!” Jake was seeing red. “Do you wanna get yourself killed in a real fight?”

“Ease up, we’re alive and we still have the fastest time on the leaderboard—Coyote, Payback and Fanboy are nowhere near us.”

“That’s not the point, Bradshaw! You just didn’t fucking think!” Jake was seething, his face was red and if Bradley looked close enough? He swore he could see steam coming out of Jake's ears. “Something’s gotta be in there—it can’t just be air in that thick—“ Before Jake could finish, he felt a tugging sensation on his left earlobe. Shutting up instantly as he reached up to tug at the phantom sensation.

“Nut got your ear?” Bradley asked as he tapped Hangman on the shoulder, Bradley had been the one Jake confided in when you finally passed on. He didn’t believe in the afterlife until he couldn’t let you go. “Mum used to say dad would whistle around the house, she’d smell his cologne too.” Bradley caught the sun catching on Jake's wedding band. You’d both decided fuck it one night and high tailed it to a Vagas to get hitched. “She’s probably trying to tell you to stop yelling at me!”

Christmas had long passed and Jake still had his dead tree up. Something about taking it down meant saying goodbye and he wasn’t ready to do that. You’d only just managed to make it to new years before deciding you just couldn’t do it anymore. But you were wrapped to have two best worst Christmas’s under your belt.

Jake held you close till you took your last breath, you weren’t in some hospital somewhere hooked up to all sorts of machines. No. You were down by the ocean, in Jake's arms. Talking about how you were so thankful to have completed everything on your lift. The final one being the most important.

“Here—“ Jake remembers you saying softly as you handed him a letter. “I wrote them down so you’ll never forget everything you did for me.”

Jake scanned the page of about fifteen different things you had done together, the last one though he never knew you wrote. He couldn’t help himself as he held you a little tighter, a little closer. He framed the letter and placed it on his bedside table—The tick next to number fifteen his favourite thing of all.

Number 15: Know what it’s like to fall in love on the worst, best Christmas ever.

#jake seresin x y/n #jake hangman x reader #jake seresin fic #jake hangman seresin x reader #jake seresin angst #jake seresin fan fic #top gun hangman

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