pls oh god of fics pls grant thee touch starved Shane and oblivious Ryan in shyan ship *bows down* (i sent one before and donno if u actually got it cuz it showed error so im sending in another try)
I didn’t get your other ask unfortunately, but this is an idea I’ve been wanting to write like 10k for, but I know I’ll never have the energy. So it’s a little ficlet instead.
CW: Includes post-kidnapping, malnutrition, and an embarrassing lack of touching for a touch-starved prompt.
*
Shane disappears on September 17th. Ryan only remembers because they’d been scheduled to shoot an episode of Weird and/or Wonderful World and he’d had to eventually make the uncomfortable call to the Los Angeles County Arboretum and Botanic Garden to cancel their tour and interview.
It had been funny at first with Shane’s habitual lateness. They’d all assumed he’d slept late, forgot what day it was, and completely blanked on the filming schedule.
It’s less funny a week later when a missing person’s report is filed and Shane’s parents fly out to stay with Scott while they wait for any kind of news.
Detective Flores finds him two states over, a month and a half later. There are six hostages in total, as part of some elaborate heist that’s foiled before it comes to fruition. Shane’s kept in hospital for almost a full week, treated for malnutrition and a few general injuries, the news passed to Ryan through Scott via a DM on Instagram.
For the first time since Shane’s disappearance, Ryan sleeps through the whole night.
On the Saturday following Shane’s return, Ryan wakes to a phone call at eight in the morning.
“Hello?” he answers, voice rough from sleep, brain barely online.
“I’m sorry,” Shane apologizes, but his voice alone is enough to wake up Ryan the rest of the way. It’s the first he’s heard from him. He’d been trying to give the family space and knew Shane would find him once he was ready. Apparently, now is that time. “Can you come pick me up?”
“Sure,” Ryan agrees instantly, shoving back the covers and getting out of bed. “Where are you?”
“My apartment,” Shane admits and Ryan pauses from where he’s trying to dig out a pair of clean pants. “I just need a break.”
“Sure,” Ryan repeats. “I’ll be there in twenty.”
It’s quiet on the other end of the line before, quietly, Shane says, “Thanks, Ryan.”
*
Shane’s waiting at the curb when Ryan pulls up.
Ryan unlocks the door and watches Shane fold himself into his seat, waiting a moment for Shane to settle before reaching over to set a hand on his knee, squeezing gently.
“Hey man,” he says gently. “Long time no see.”
Shane startles at the touch, but glances over, offering a small smile in return.
He looks different. His face is thinner, his cheekbones a little more prominent, and there’s a new scar on the right side of his forehead that disappears into his hairline.
“Hey,” Shane replies, buckling his seatbelt and giving Ryan a view of his right hand, which has two fingers splinted together. “Thanks for coming.”
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?”
Ryan stares at him incredulously and eventually Shane looks away, out the passenger side window.
“It’s just hard being surrounded by everyone right now,” he says, clearly talking about his family. “I need a break.”
Ryan checks over his shoulder and pulls back onto the road.
“Is my apartment okay? Or did you want to go somewhere else?”
“Your place is fine,” Shane tells him, and from the corner of his eye, Ryan sees him turn his head, staring as though Ryan won’t notice.
At the next red light, Ryan glances over. “How are you doing?”
Shane looks away, clearly caught. “Getting tired of people asking me that. It’s all anyone asks these days.”
“Guess they just want to know you’re okay.”
Shane glances back towards him. “Could be better,” he says bluntly and Ryan can’t help but let out a quiet huff of laughter.
“Yeah, no shit. But the hospital cleared you?”
“Yeah,” Shane sighs. “Apart from a few broken fingers and some weight loss, I’m okay.”
“I missed you,” Ryan admits. “It’s probably the longest I’ve gone without seeing you since we started at BuzzFeed.”
Shane frowns like he’s thinking and then the frown deepens. “Jesus, you might be right.”
Ryan laughs again. “Horrifying thought, huh?”
“Puts things in perspective.”
“Didn’t you miss me?” Ryan asks jokingly, but Shane doesn’t answer, just laughs quietly.
“It’s weird,” Shane says. “I was never alone, but it feels like I have to relearn how to be around people now.”
Ryan had read the news after Shane’s rescue. There had been five others saved alongside Shane, so he suspects they might be the reason Shane wasn’t alone.
Ryan shrugs gently. “Adjusting is hard, and I’m sure it’s even harder with your family refusing to let you out of their sights.”
Shane shakes his head. “You have no idea. I was in the shower for twenty minutes this morning and they started knocking on the door to see if I was still alive.”
“Rough,” Ryan laments. “Well, you’re welcome to chill at my place for as long as you need.”
“Can I move in?” Shane jokes, but Ryan just shrugs.
“If that’s what you want.”
It’s silent for a moment before Shane says, “Thanks, I appreciate it.”
Ryan offers him a smile. “Of course, dude. It’s what I’m here for.”
It’s quiet for the rest of the drive until Ryan pulls into his usual parking spot and glances over. “You good?
Shane nods and carefully unbuckles his seatbelt. “Yeah, I’ve got it.”
Ryan’s chest tightens watching Shane limp his way towards the front door, but he knows the last thing Shane needs is more helicoptering.
“Can I get you anything?” Ryan asks as he shuts the door behind them, watching Shane glance around as though he expects Ryan to have redecorated during his disappearance, but ultimately Shane shakes his head. “Okay, well, make yourself at home. You know the drill. I’m gonna go grab a drink.”
He knows Shane can find his own way to the living room, so he moves around him, heading in the direction of the kitchen instead.
“Ryan?” Shane questions and Ryan pauses, turning back.
“Yeah?”
Shane hesitates like he doesn’t know how to get the words out, but after a moment, he takes two steps closer and draws Ryan into a hug instead.
Ryan isn’t entirely expecting it. Shane’s not a touchy-feely guy, which means Ryan can probably count on one hand the amount of times they’ve hugged. But Shane folds around him so tightly that it startles the breath right out of him.
“I did miss you,” Shane mutters and Ryan lifts his hands to reciprocate, holding Shane as hard as he dares when everything feels so fragile.
“I was really worried,” Ryan admits. “I thought you’d been killed.”
He finds himself rubbing one hand along Shane’s spine, trying to soothe him as Shane tucks his face against his shoulder.
“You were gone for a long time,” Ryan continues.
He can feel the warmth of Shane’s breath through his shirt as he exhales shakily. “They broke my fingers when I tried to escape.”
Ryan holds him tighter, needing them both to understand that Shane’s safe again. Having the weight of Shane leaning against him is grounding in a way he never knew it could be. About a month into Shane’s disappearance, Ryan had gone through a mourning period, assuming he’d never see Shane again. He finds tears prickling his eyes as the relief hits him solidly in the chest.
“God, Shane,” he murmurs and he’s not sure who’s comforting who.
The warmth of Shane spreads through him, all the way down to his toes, like a cup of hot soup on a cold day. Except that Ryan never realized he was too cold until this moment. He feels alive and whole again, and he knows he can’t even begin to understand what Shane experienced. The fact that he can feel every ridge of Shane’s spine as his hand passes along it says enough.
When he finally starts feeling like Shane’s probably ready to let go, he loosens his arms and shifts, one foot lifting to take a step backwards.
“Just a little longer,” Shane requests and Ryan’s more than happy to comply, a noise of agreement escaping as he nods.
“I’ll stay here as long as you need,” Ryan tells him. “It’s just good to have you back.”
“It’s good to be back,” Shane replies and tightens his grip again like he might never let go.
To be honest, Ryan’s okay with that. He holds on just as tightly and settles against Shane, finally feeling happy again for the first time in months.
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Claw Hammer Coat
So I maybe wrote a little something based on @benaya-trash heart-gripping claw reaping au?
Something breaks.
Two strays wander into their woods.
They’re just kids. Young, too young to be running around the preserve, bite marks on their arms, alone and afraid. Desperate. Isaac finds them, he’s the one who brings them to the rebuilt Hale house, three pairs of footsteps tracking mud all over Derek’s kitchen.
Derek was out with Scott and Stiles, so the three of them arrive together after Scott gets Isaac’s call.
Derek takes one look and he already knows it’s bad. The boys are hopeful, which makes it worse. They call Deaton. Stiles tries to distract the children. Then one of the boys, the taller one, starts coughing blood. Soon after, the smaller one follows.
Derek knows then, there’s nothing else to do but. He looks at Scott, at the split-second panic and loss in the young alpha’s eyes, and he accepts that he will be the one to do it.
Derek carries the boys to a seperate room, calmly, gently. Scott tries to protest, but Derek reassures him, this is one thing he doesn’t need to learn. “I’ve done it before. I know how it feels.” To take an innocent life, to earn your blue eyes. “No reason for anyone else to go through it.”
Stiles tries to stop him. They’re still just on the cusp of being something, but they already know each other enough for those amber eyes to fill with concern for a not-quite lover. Derek smiles a sad smile, assures Stiles it’s fine. He can deal with it. He has.
He does.
Soft. Such soft necks. One quick snick, blood overflowing, neverending. Derek holds them through the fear, through the slowing of their hearts. Derek holds them.
Derek holds Boyd. He holds Erica. He holds Laura. He holds his family. He holds Paige. One quick snick.
His claws, there’s too much red. Something breaks.
- - -
Those on the path to healing are that much closer to breaking.
They should have known, Stiles should have known. When Derek walked out of that room composed and too calm for someone carrying the bodies of two dead children. When Derek stared off, last to leave the funeral the pack arranged in a hurry. When Derek recovered too quickly.
But they didn’t. Know any better. They took Derek’s progress and enduring emotional strength for granted. They got used to his role as pack mentor and assumed that’s what he will always be — the needed, not the needing.
So when the day came for roles reversing, they weren’t ready. Stiles wasn’t ready.
Read more on AO3
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Start Small, Like Oak Trees–EXERPT FROM CHAPTER 8:
He watches Derek pick at the soil stuck under his thumbnail, and thinks about him digging his big sister’s grave, all alone in the woods with no one to hold him when the grief became overwhelming. Without letting himself think too hard about the consequences of the action, Stiles reaches out and covers Derek’s hand with his own, tangling their fingers together. Derek meets his gaze, his eyes clear even through his evident heartache.
“Just because something doesn’t have an obvious use, doesn’t mean it isn’t valuable,” he murmurs, tightening his fingers around Stiles’. He stares intently into Stiles’ eyes, like he’s willing Stiles to understand the deeper meaning behind his words. Stiles’ breath catches in his throat, and he blinks away the prickle of unexpected tears.
He wonders how long Derek has known.
It should be shocking, that Derek has picked up on his deepest, most base fear, when even Scott has never fully understood it. Stiles has spent years repressing it, can’t help but suspect that it’s what left the door open for the Nogitsune. For all his jokes, his attempts at deflection, there’s been an ugly, insidious voice entrenched in the back of his head that constantly whispers one thing:
If Stiles isn’t useful, then what is the point of him?
And here Derek is, after everything Stiles has done, holding him gently by the hand and laying that fear to rest with a well-timed plant metaphor. Stiles clears his throat, scrubbing his free hand across his burning eyes.
“We still have to uproot all those thistles,” he says roughly. “They’re in pretty deep, we’ll probably have to dig them up.”
“We’ll get them out eventually.” Derek stands, untangling their hands to brush detritus from the seat of his pants. “It’s only a matter of time.”
//
Y’ALL THE INSANELY TALENTED @benaya-trash HAS CREATED THIS FREAKING MASTERPIECE FOR MY FIC, START SMALL, LIKE OAK TREES.
Please go read it and tell me how you feel, and for goodness’ sake please go and commission @benaya-trash to do some art for you. Olga is truly a wonder to work with, and their art is absolutely incredible.
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