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#benny magalon x you
the-hinky-panda · 2 years
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Day 25: Conjure
10/25: Conjure
Universe // Characters: Den of Thieves - Penny Series // Benny “Borracho” Magalon 
Borracho is certain he has just conjured you into existence. At least, existence as it pertains to location, which currently is a touristy bar in LAX. 
It’s been a few months since he first encountered you in the bar by the Sheriff's office. He had lifted your number from Nick’s phone, not an easy feat, and the two of you had been texting back and forth sporadically. The conversations were short and friendly, flirty if you squint. It was more about the fact that you were talking behind Nick’s back then it was anything else. But he liked you. You were funny, witty, and…not like Nick at all. 
It made him more and more curious about you. 
But then his flight to Mexico is canceled and he’s trying to figure out if it’s worth it to go back home and try again tomorrow, when he catches sight of you sitting at the bar across from his gate. He sends a quick text to his brother about the flight cancellation before heading over to the bar. 
“We have to stop meeting like this, Mamí.” 
If you’re surprised by his arrival, you hide it well. “I’m starting to see the nickname now.” You soften the barb with a wink and a smile. 
“So where are you headed?” he asks, ordering a beer. 
You pull one of the three olives off the toothpick from your martini glass and pop it into your mouth. “I was headed to Ireland. I was going to meet a friend of mine at Newark and we were going to go over there to look for horses for her. She’s an event rider. But,” you point to the TV over the bar with the weather report running, “that midwest blizzard put a fast end to that.” 
“No Christmas in the motherland then?” 
“Not this year. What about you? Where are you headed?” 
“I was headed to Rocky Point, in Mexico. My family always meets there for the holidays. But my plane is stuck in that storm apparently. Should be able to fly out tomorrow morning though.” 
You nod. “Cool. Never been there.” 
“Mexico or Rocky Point?” 
“Both, actually.” 
“You’ve been across the ocean but not the country directly below us?” 
You shrug. “Maybe now that I know someone who can tell me what spots to go to, I’ll make it down there.” 
“So are you going back up to Sacramento for Christmas or staying with your brother?” 
“I haven’t decided yet. Christmas with Nick,” you pull a face. “It’ll end up just waiting for him to be an ass and then listening to Deb complain about him. Then I’ll take the girls out to do something and Nick will find us and Deb will think I did it on purpose and I think I should just make the five hour drive back to Sacramento.” You drain the martini glass and order another one. “But I’ll make the decision tomorrow.” 
“Tomorrow?” 
You show him the stack of vouchers. “They were feeling generous given tomorrow is Christmas and they ruined a lot of family’s plans. I have vouchers for a new international flight, a hotel room, and $20 for dinner.” 
“Wow. All I got was ‘Come back tomorrow and we’ll try again.’” 
He orders a second beer and starts asking questions about the horses you were going to look at, what exactly is “eventing” and what you liked about visiting Ireland. He has to admit that the competition that you’re involved in aligns more with Nick’s personality than he thought it would with yours. Jumping six foot jumps in mud and sand, seems to be more for adrenaline seekers than what he had envisioned. You start to ask him about his family and what he looks forward most at the family gathering in Mexico. He tells you about the massive amounts of food, the beach bonfires, and being able to listen to the ocean from his uncle’s home. By the time there’s a lull in the conversation, he realizes it’s almost midnight and he has four missed texts from his family. He glances over them and sighs. 
Let us know if you can get a flight tomorrow. 
Your mom wants to know if you have a girlfriend, who is she, and is she coming with you? 
If you don’t, she’s got like three girls lined up from next door. All in the 40’s and good Catholic girls, just warning you. 
Any word on flights? 
“Everything alright?” you ask. 
“Yeah, fine. You have your family drama and I have mine.” 
You laugh. “Sounds like your family is pretty normal from how you described them.” 
He has four beers in him and is tired so he’s more honest than normal. “I have three sisters and one brother. My brother isn’t married and has no desire to be so when I got married it was up to me to carry on the Magalon name. Now that I’m divorced, my mother is panicking about the family line dying out.” 
You laugh, but unlike Nick’s laugh, yours holds no harshness. “So your Christmas gift is a new woman.” 
He glances down at his phone. “Looks that way. Maybe I won’t catch a flight tomorrow morning.” 
“Nah,” you shake your head. “Whenever I talk to a client about handling a horse, I also say ‘you have to be smarter than the animal.’ So, be smarter than your mom. Cut her off at the pass. Tell her you do have a girlfriend. Hell, show her a picture of me and call it done.” 
“So lie?” 
You give him the side eye. “Like you haven’t done worse than that before.” 
He laughs. “Better yet, I could just take you with me.” 
You start to laugh but stop. “You’re not serious.” 
He certainly wasn’t when he said it but, well, why not? “You got somewhere to be?” 
You tap the side of your martini glass as you think about his offer. “I do have a voucher for an international flight.” 
“And you already have your passport.” 
“And I’ve never been to Mexico before.” 
“Be my fake girlfriend for a family Christmas at the beach or stay here with your brother.” He holds his hand out towards you with a small smile. 
“Well, when you put it that way,” you slip your hand into his and give it a shake. “You have a deal there, Benny.” 
“Nick can never find out.” 
“Oh God, no, never.” 
Benny laughs and orders another round of drinks, sincerely hoping this doesn’t blow up in his face.
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Last Resort
Pairing: Benny ‘Borracho’ Magalon x Reader Rating: M
Warnings: Cursing, angst, fluff, reader is a little drunk, Reader and Borracho are exes; bittersweet ending
Notes: Idk, my brain spit this out. Enjoy. Not beta-read.
Summary: You glanced over, taking in the familiar slopes of his profile. He looked good—he'd shaved pretty recently, and you were almost sure you spotted a new streak of grey by his temple. Goddamn. There was no way that he'd gone out of his way to look that good just for you, but you could pretend, right? In that precise moment, it felt like being delulu was indeed the solulu.
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"I shouldn't have called."
It wasn't an apology, because you couldn't bring yourself to apologize, not just yet. You knew that you'd technically done the responsible thing, called someone to pick you up rather than trying to get home alone—but fuck, you could've gotten an uber, a lyft, fucking something. Being drunk was an excuse, not a reason. Dialing your ex should've been your last resort.
But there you were, sitting in the front seat of your ex-boyfriend's car.
If Borracho looked at you, you didn't see it—you were too busy staring out of the passenger side window and wishing yourself back to the crowded curb outside of the club. The cigarette and weed smoke would've been unbearable, but fuck—at least you wouldn't be so close to him, smelling his cologne, hearing the murmur of his favorite music.
"...S'alright."
It was about as much as you'd gotten out of him when you'd been together, so why did it sting so goddamn much?
"Did I wake you up?" You hedged, "Take you away from anything...?"
"You mean anyone?"
Damn, he'd sniffed that out fast. Maybe you'd forgotten how sharp he was; maybe you were more tipsy than you thought.
"Whatever," You shrugged. "Did I?"
"No."
"Thought you might be on duty."
"You called because you thought I might be on duty?"
"No, just—When I called, it occurred to me that you might be."
"What would you have done if I had been?"
"Get an uber or something, I don't know."
"Why didn't you do that anyway?"
He sounded more curious than accusatory, but the question still made you slide down in your seat a little, shrinking under the weight of your guilt.
"...I dunno."
Borracho let it hang there. You glanced over, taking in the familiar slopes of his profile. He looked good—he'd shaved pretty recently, and you were almost sure you spotted a new streak of grey by his temple. Goddamn. There was no way that he'd gone out of his way to look that good just for you, but you could pretend, right? In that precise moment, it felt like being delulu was indeed the solulu.
Who did it hurt to pretend that Borracho still wanted to look good for you? That he wanted to see you like this as much as you'd wanted to see him? That when you'd been at loose ends, the only one of your friends that hadn't found someone to go home with, you'd thought of him, and only him—
Well. That last bit wasn't really pretending. You'd found yourself searching for your ex in the face of every stranger since you'd parted ways.
"Is there anyone for me to have pulled you away from?" The question left you before you could even think to stop it.
"Nope."
You thrilled with vindication for a single moment before he added, "You don't have anyone, either."
"What?"
He pulled the car to a stop at a red, turning to get a better look at you. His gaze swept over you, lingering on the length of your exposed thighs where they peeked out of your miniskirt before he met your eyes again.
"You're dressed to go fishing."
Fishing?!
"Oh—Fuck you," You spluttered, reaching for your door handle, only to hear the subtle snick of Borracho locking the doors and clicking on the child lock. "Let me out!"
"At least let me pull out of traffic," He argued, flicking the turn signal on, "You stumble out into traffic and get hit by a truck, I gotta make the report."
You folded your arms petulantly across your chest, glaring through the windshield as he pulled into a vacant strip mall parking lot. He unlocked the doors, and you hurried to get out, half-stumbling as your foot got caught in the footwell. You wobbled, catching hold of yourself on the door before you pulled yourself upright, slamming the car door shut behind yourself. You stomped over to a car stop and ignored your ass stinging as you plopped onto it, pressing your knees tight together and drawing your phone out. You could just get an uber from...Wherever the fuck you were.
You ignored the car door closing and plaintive sigh, followed by Borracho's footsteps.
"You can leave," You snipped as he stopped beside you.
"I'll wait until you get an uber."
"You don't need to."
"I'll feel better if I do."
"Whatever."
You swiped through your apps—crap, you deleted uber for space, didn't you? Fuck, now you had to redownload it with Borracho watching—
"Get back in the car."
"I'm fine."
"I'll shut up. Just get back in the car." He sighed again, crouching beside you. "C'mon, I'm already here—and it'll be cheaper."
...Well, that was true. Your girls night club tab had not been cheap. You cast a wary gaze toward Borracho, who held his hands up in surrender.
"...Fine," You grumbled. Borracho straightened, holding his hand out to you. You stubbornly ignored it and pushed yourself up from the car stop, wobbling before striding back over to his car and climbing inside. You put your seat belt on, sliding down in your seat again as Borracho climbed into the driver's seat and started the car back up.
You managed to keep your mouth shut for a whole block and a half.
"Fishing," You grumbled, "Fuck you."
"I know."
"I can do whatever the fuck I want—"
"I know."
"I can, you can. Whatever." You reached up, yanking the sun visor down and pushing aside the mirror cover. Oh—Damn, when had your mascara run? And why didn't he say anything?
"Your makeup wipes are still in the glove compartment."
You cast him an irritated look as you blindly reached down, yanking open the glove and feeling around for the familiar packaging. You tugged one out, raising it to your eyes and swiping away the run liner.
"You could've said something," You grumbled, sliding it further down and scrubbing off your lip products.
"Didn't think you'd want to hear them."
"So what'd you think I'd feel when I got home and saw all of the run makeup?" You looked over to see Borracho fighting back a grin and shrugging a shoulder. You scoffed a laugh, balling up the used makeup wipe and tossing it at him. "Fuck you!"
"Alright, alright," He waved the wipe away. "Still driving here."
You shut the mirror and visor, leaning back in your seat.
"...You have a good time, at least?" Borracho asked after a few moments.
"I guess. It was fine."
"Just fine?"
"Yeah, I mean. Standard." You considered for a moment. "I didn't really wanna go."
"Why did you?"
"Haven't gone out much lately."
"Why not?"
Why not. Probably because you're mutual breakup hadn't been all that mutual. Probably because whenever you went out with a guy and he mentioned a work function, your mind immediately sprang to hotel rooms, too much beer, scantily clad women. Probably because when you needed to get off, you still heard Borracho's moans in your ear, remembered the heated press of his body against yours.
You felt Borracho turn to look at you, and realized that you had been quiet for too long. You just shrugged.
"Busy with work, I guess."
Borraacho grunted on the other side of the car, muttering, "I hear that."
You smiled a little at the gentle commiseration, and made the mistake of glancing over just in time to see him turning the wheel single-handed. God—damn, but you missed those hands. You swallowed thickly, drawing in a deep breath.
"Y'okay?" He asked.
"I need something to soak up the booze."
"You gonna puke?"
"No."
"You sure?"
"Yes," You rolled your eyes. "I may piss you off, but I wouldn't throw up in your car on purpose. I know how much you love this thing."
Borracho didn't answer for a few moments, and when he did—
"Yucca fries?"
"Ugh, fuck yes."
--
"Quit hogging the chipotle mayo," You grumbled. Borracho grunted, holding out the little plastic container for you. You shoved your fry into it, scooping out a frankly ungodly amount, and ignoring that dollops that slipped onto his knuckles. You shoved the fry into your mouth, watching him raise his knuckles to his lips and sweep his tongue across the fallen sauce before he dropped the plastic into the to go back. You looked away hurriedly, stomach flipping at the sight. You took the bottle of water out of the cup holder and taking in a deep swig.
"Careful," Borracho grumbled. "You said you're not gonna be sick—"
"I'm not you fucking—" You shove the bottle back into the holder. "Anal-retentive shithead—"
"—Emphasis on the anal—"
"Shut the fuck up!" You spluttered a laugh, shoving your hand back into the to go bag.
"Okay," He muttered, "You good?"
"Yeah."
"Buckled up?"
"Mhm."
Borracho started the car back up, pulling out of the parking lot and steering the car toward the street. You reached into the bag, fishing past the little plastic container for the rest of the fries.
"Want another one?" You asked.
"Sure."
You held it out, keeping it steady as Borracho turned his head, biting off half of the fry. You popped the second half into your mouth, reaching into your bag for another one.
"You on shift at all tonight?" You asked.
"Tomorrow."
"Mm."
"That okay with you?"
You rolled your eyes. "None of my business what you do."
"No?"
"Not anymore."
"Why'd you ask, then?"
"Just trying to gauge how bad I'm fucking up your sleep schedule."
"I'll recover."
"Good for you."
"Early morning for you?"
"Yep."
"Better pound that water."
"I'll be fine."
"If you say so."
You reached down grudgingly, taking up the water again and drawing in another few gulps.
"Happy?" You asked.
"Whatever."
You shook your head, setting the near-empty bottle down in the cup holder. You felt oddly melancholy as Borracho turned down your street. You reached down, taking hold of your purse and undoing your seat belt as he pulled the car into the hydrant outside of your place. You began to gather up the trash, but he waved you off, urging,
"I've got it."
That was new. Still you nodded, looking at your lap. What else was there to do but get out of the car? Nothing—So why weren't you doing it?
"Everything okay?" Borracho asked softly, spurring you into embarrassed action.
"Mhm! Thanks, for the, uh—Thanks."
You got out of the car, gingerly shutting the door behind yourself and hurrying up the steps and not daring to look back as you got inside.
--
The clamor of office was nothing new, but it wasn't helping your hangover. You winced behind your sunglasses as the florescent bulbs overhead seemed to pulse with your headache. You ignored the faux-scandalized ooos that chased you to your desk.
"Lookin' a rough there, mama," Henderson taunted.
"Yeah, cause you're a saint and a goddamn daisy," You snipped in turn. You ignored the surrounding mocking cat-yowls and laughter, the sound of the chair of the opposite yours being drawn out. You glanced doggedly toward your partner.
"Borracho."
He gave you small nod, a flat, "Detective," Before shifting his full focus to his computer. You drew in a deep breath, reaching for the file nearest you.
God, you hated Mondays.
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tropes-and-tales · 8 months
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If You Weren't You, Part Two
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Day 1:  Hate sex (Benny Magalon x F!Reader)
(For the 2023 Kinktober event that I created on my own because I am boring and basic and am trying to keep it simple this year...found here!) 
CW:  Light angst, kinda; smut (PiV, unprotected); 18+ only.
Word Count:  5618
AN:  This is a sequel to this, and it was requested for Kinktober by @thesandbeneathmytoes!)
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The weekend passes uncomfortably for Benny Magalon.
He has the usual bullshit chores to catch up on.  He gets groceries, does his laundry.  He calls home, gets the updates on his family from his mom.  He goes through the pile of mail that accumulated on his table during the week.
Every idle moment, his mind drifts to you.  That moment with you, specifically.  The moment of insanity.
Nighttime is the worst.  He doesn’t fall asleep easily anyway, but Saturday night, Sunday night…it takes longer than usual to drift off.  He keeps replaying that moment.  In the darkness of his room, he swears he can exactly remember the weirdly tender way you touched him—your hand in his hair, the gentle way you kissed him. 
The way he made you laugh—really laugh—when he jokingly accused you of getting turned on by being mean to him.
The curiously hurt look on your face afterwards when he implied that fucking you was some bottom-of-the-barrel situation for him.  It was inexplicable, the hurt in your expression, because Benny hadn’t thought you were capable of feeling hurt.  You were too cool, too dispassionate…or so he thought.
Sunday night stretches out long and uncomfortable.  The minutes tick by slow, and he’s no closer to falling asleep.  In only a few hours he’ll have to get up, get dressed, and face you. 
“Goddammit,” he mutters in the darkness of his room, and he rolls over, punches his pillow into shape, and tries to push you out of his head.
-----
He doesn’t have to face you Monday morning.  Lobbin’ Bob is the one leading the morning debrief, and you are nowhere to be found. 
Benny finds out later that you are with the LAPD, plying your charm to get some case files they have on the suspect on a separate case.  Right now, though, he’s just relieved to not have to see you. 
He and Big Nick go outside after the debrief to head back to Major Crimes.  His boss looks awful—he hits those Friday parties hard and never seems to have enough time to recover.  Nick gestures to Benny to wait a moment, and he leans against his truck, slides a pack of smokes out of his coat pocket.  He lights a cigarette with a grumble, then tosses the pack and lighter to Benny.
They smoke together in silence for a beat.  God only knows what Big Nick is thinking. 
Benny?  He’s thinking he’s dodged a bullet, but that he’ll have to face you soon enough. 
Big Nick takes a deep drag of his cigarette.  “Sorry about Friday night,” he says.  “You drew the short straw.”
Benny flicks the ash off of his own cigarette.  “S’ fine.”
“You missed a good party.”  A beat.  “So how was she?  Lobbin’ Bob’s pet ice queen?”
He shrugs.  He refuses to tell his boss about that moment of madness in the backseat of your SUV, the weirdly tender moment that turned sour as soon as you both put your pants back on. 
“Same as always,” he replies.
Big Nick chuckles, shakes his head.  “You know, I’m all for women in law enforcement.  Equal rights and all that shit.  But I hate it when they get too high on themselves.  The way she marches around, acting like she’s better than everyone…there’s no room for ego in this game.”
Benny bites his tongue, doesn’t point out that Big Nick has the biggest ego of anyone.  How he insists on being the center of attention, the center of any moment.  The Sheriff’s department resident bad boy who get results at the cost of….well, everything.  At the cost of good procedures and policies, at the cost of his family, at the cost of his detectives’ personal lives…
“She needs taken down a notch or two,” Big Nick says.  “Think we should be the ones to do it.”
Benny has witnessed plenty of his boss’s pranks and mean-spirited jokes.  Big Nick plays rough.
He remembers the feeling of your fingers combing through his hair, the soft way you pulled him to you to kiss him.  The startling sound of your laughter.
“Nah, leave it,” he tells Big Nick, but he should know better—Nick does what Nick wants, and tough shit to anyone who doesn’t like it.
*****
You learned how to compartmentalize things when you were just a kid, and the knack for it serves you well in adulthood—in your personal life, but especially in your job.
When you make the terrible decision to fuck Detective Magalon, that decision straddles both your personal and professional life, which makes it harder to shove away in a box and forget it…but you’re a pro at sealing off unhappy moments, sliding them into some cobwebbed corner of your mind, so that’s exactly what you do.
You seal off that moment with Magalon, you push it away, you start to forget it.
Monday:  you spend the better part of the day with LAPD, sifting through evidence tangentially related to your case.
Tuesday:  you testify in an unrelated case, drive up to Sacramento and walk a judge and jury through your investigation from months ago.
Wednesday:  you return to the office and the case at hand.  The LAPD sent over all of their casework while you were in the state capitol, boxes of evidence, so you sigh and settle in for a day of combing through it all.  It’s a proverbial needle in a haystack, but you aren’t alone for long.
An hour into it, you’ve only just ordered the boxes and cracked open the first one.  There’s a knock at the door of your office, and Bob peeks his head in.
“Hey, the Sheriff’s Department sent over one of their detectives to help you sort through the evidence,” he said.  He shook his head, chuckled.  “I tried to tell O’Brien that we didn’t need any help, but he’s afraid of getting iced out.”
You roll your eyes and hope the gesture covers the way your stomach cramps and twists.  You know it’s going to be Magalon.  That shoved-away, boxed-up memory resurfaces—the gentle way he had cradled the top of your head in your SUV, the way he had smiled down at you…then how he had insulted you right after, and how hard that stung.
“It’s fine,” you lie to Bob.
“Good.”  He raps his fist against the doorjamb.  “He’s on his way up.  Play nice, but if you need me, just call.”
“Will do,” you reply, and you have only a handful of minutes to compose yourself:  to pull on a neutral face, to take some steadying breaths, and then Detective Magalon—Mr. Tall, Dark, and Stupid—is in your doorway with an inscrutable expression on his face.
*****
You’re quiet all day.  Through the morning, through lunch and into the afternoon—you say so little.  The sum total of your conversation is you asking him what he wants for lunch, then you calling out to an assistant to place the order.
You eat in silence.  You work in silence.  Benny goes outside to smoke a cigarette, and he finds his hands tremble to light it.  He lingers outside as long as he thinks he can, and he returns to your office slowly, drags his feet.
Your silence is unnerving.  It holds weight and takes up space, like a third entity in the room with the two of you.  Benny’s not used to women being so quiet when they’re pissed at him—and you must be pissed at him.  Women he’s done wrong, they usually yell at him, scream at him, come at him like wildcats.
You just sit there and page through wire-tap records, witness interviews, phone records.  You don’t avoid eye contact with him but you don’t stare him down.  You’re perfectly neutral, exactly down the middle of the line.
His weird guilt and unease shifts back to a more familiar feeling:  irritation.  Lobbin’ Bob’s goddamned pet ice princess.  Fussily perfect, completely boring.  You drink water all day to stay hydrated.  You brush and floss your teeth after lunch.  When you get a headache, you pull open a desk drawer—neatly organized—and shake out a single tablet of ibuprofen that you toss back with a practiced flick of the wrist.
You’re a goddamned robot, not even a real person, and Benny hates that you took up so much space in his head over the weekend.  He hates that he felt a burgeoning guilt over what he had said after your hookup; he hates that he felt nervous to see you again.  He hates that he lost a single moment of sleep over you.
The sun reaches its apex and starts its slide into the west.  The quiet murmur of office noise dies off on the other side of your door.  Benny’s concentration wanes too; the numbers on the phone logs he’s combing start to blur together.  His thoughts drift off to other things.  He starts to fiddle with his phone, restlessly scrolling through his email, his texts, the handful of bare-bones social media he has.
You glance up at him from your pile of paperwork when his phone chimes—a text from Big Nick—and Benny feels your eyes on him.  When he looks up from replying to Nick, he catches your studious look, your arched brow.
But you say nothing, so when you bend your head back to the task at hand, he goes ahead and breaks the onerous silence with a terse, “we gonna be much longer?”
“Big Nick got a line on some coke and hookers?”
There it is.  Finally.  He pushes a hard exhale through his nose and shakes his head.  “That wasn’t Big Nick.”  He doesn’t add more to the lie; he’s curious if you’ll think it’s a woman.  He’s curious if any glimmer of jealousy will cross your features.
He’s disappointed a beat later.  Instead of feeling jealous, you seem to see through his ruse but you play along.  Your lips twitch into a ghost of a smile. 
“Oh, a hot date, then?”  The smile widens, and you lift a hand towards your closed door.  “If you leave now, you won’t lose your deposit on her.”
Another huffed out breath, and his irritation rachets up a degree.  He hates your implications around him paying for women, but he hates even more how close to the mark you’ve hit.  He hasn’t paid for it, not in a long while…but there was a time when he had, back when he was freshly-divorced and smarting from it, licking his wounds at their big seedy parties each weekend. 
“Jealous?” he asks, and he hates how lame it sounds as a comeback, but he pairs it with a stony expression.
You nod, and a fake frown replaces your smile, a pouting moue that would be charming on anyone else but you. 
“I’m devastated,” you reply, dead-pan, but then you sigh and look back down at your paperwork.  “No, go ahead and go.”
He would leave if you’d leave, but you seem like you’re staying.  The sun is almost set now, and your office is darker, but you make no move to box up the remaining evidence.  You seem like you’re hunkering down until the job is done, and that needles at Benny even more.  You’ve always obliquely—and not so obliquely—implied that you are the better cop.  That he and the Major Crimes assholes are reckless tramplers of the law, and that you and Lobbin’ Bob are upstanding examples of law enforcement.
“You coming?” he asks.  He stands up but doesn’t move towards the door.
“No.”
“It’s late.”
You tilt your head but don’t look up at him.  “I’ve worked later than this.”
The implication, Benny hears, is that he’s never worked late before, and he bristles at your tone.  “There’s probably nothing here,” he replies, and he gestures at the boxes of evidence from the LAPD case.  “Leave it.”
You snort, and you finally lift your head.  You stare at him dead-on, no blinking.  “That’s excellent police work, Detective.  ‘There’s probably nothing here.’”  You repeat his words back to him in a startingly good impression of him, his lazy California accent and soft voice, and he bristles even more.
“This stuff was always a long shot,” he argues.
“Long shots pay off all the time.  Some cases are built on long shots.”
“So you’re gonna stay here and finish?”  He glanced over at the boxes you haven’t gotten to yet.  There’s three of them.  You’ll be here all night.  He feels that familiar sting of guilt, and then he feels pissed, like you’re manipulating him into staying longer, even though you’ve been beating him with your silence all day—
“Yup.  I am.”
“Well, I’m leaving.”  He takes a step towards your door but goes no further because that fucking guilt keeps him rooted in place.  The thought of you spending a lonely night with boxes of evidence, and he’s supposed to be your partner in this—
“C’mon, let’s just go,” he adds.  “We can hit it tomorrow fresh.”
“Tomorrow I have to hit something else,” you reply.  There’s tension in your voice, a tightness to your words.  You’re getting irritated with him now.  “And the next day there’s something else.  I have to get through this now or it won’t get done.”
“Shit, there’s nothing—”
“Christ, Magalon!”  You snap, sudden, and it makes him jolt where he stands.  You toss your pen aside and bring your fist down on your desktop like a hammer, and the display of anger makes him take a half step away from you.  You stand up, round around your desk, and you go to your door and yank it open.
“Go.”  You stand in the doorway and point out of it, and you actually fucking snap your fingers as you point, like he’s a recalcitrant dog caught chewing on the furniture.
“Jesus, calm down—”
The words slip out despite knowing that telling any woman to calm down always elicits the opposite reaction:  you actually stamp your foot on the floor, and it’d be cute as shit, how feisty you’re getting out of nowhere, but you’re you, and he’s been ready to leave for hours, exhausted by the boring work and the frustration to be paired with you again.
“Get out,” you tell him.  “I’ll finish it up myself.”
“I only—”
“I don’t need any excuses.  Seriously, Magalon.  Go home.  Go find O’Brien or your band of merry assholes.”
He should leave.  He wants to.  You’re back to being a bitch, a living cold front that leaves him chilled by your silence and your judgement.  He’s completely free to stalk away; he has no obligation to stay and suffer more.  Except…
…except you’ve been calling him by his name all day.  Calling him by his title.  Magalon.  Detective.  You’ve dropped the pretense of calling him the wrong name, the pretense of conflating him with his Major Crimes teammates—the message that they’re all the same, interchangeable, identical in their awfulness.
Does it mean you see him as himself now?  Did he lay you well enough to distinguish himself from the pack and earn that scant bit of respect—razor-thin, admittedly—that you use his last name now?
“Calm down,” he repeats, and this time it’s intentional.  He’s rewarded by more outrage:  you stamp your foot again (it is cute, he decides now, because you’re usually so collected).  You actually go so apoplectic that when you open your mouth to respond, nothing comes out.  You glare at him gape-mouthed, and nothing comes out, so he adds, “shit, you need laid again?  You already missing it after a few days?”
Your eyes go wider, and you huff out a breath so heavily that your nostrils flare at the effort.  “Shut up.”
It’s not a no.  Benny smirks at you, and your eyes narrow into slits at his expression.
“Just go,” you seethe, like you’re pushing the words out between your clenched jaw.  “Seriously, don’t leave whoever waiting.  Your date.  O’Brien.  Whoever.”
“I can spare you five minutes.”
You snort, roll your eyes.  “What’s that come to, four minutes of foreplay and a minute of action?”
This is cute too, he decides.  You talking shit about his game when you know better.  You acting like you don’t know how he is, like you don’t have the first-hand experience of him pretty effortlessly coaxing an orgasm from you—
“Aw, sweetheart.”  His smirk widens, and he reaches out to trace a fingertip down the curve of your face.  “You know that isn’t true.”
You swat away his hand and make a dismissive tsch sort of noise, but you don’t reply.  He lifts his hand again, traces his forefinger across the neckline of your blouse.  He doesn’t touch you, but he’s close, and when you go to swat him away again, he catches your hand in his.  Pulls you towards him, takes you off your balance until you sway closer to him.
“C’mon,” he says.  “Five minutes, then we leave, and hit those few boxes fresh in the morning.”
He sees that you’re tempted.  He sees the way your expression wavers, and he isn’t sure if you’re more tempted by him or the prospect of not spending the night in your office…but either way, he’s snaking his way around the wall you have up, and you’re wavering—
“C’mon.”  He drops his voice to a low rumble right by your ear, and he catches the way your breathing picks up, the rise and fall of your chest quickening.  “I know you’re already wet, sweetheart.  You’ve been mean to me all day.  You must be.”
It makes you laugh, and just like that night in your SUV, it startles him.  It’s such a rare sound, he guesses.  It’s throaty and low but loud, punched-out.  Just like before, he feels a thrill of pride to draw it out of you.  He bets it’s a rarer thing to make you laugh than to make you come, and he’s done both.
“I haven’t been mean to you at all,” you point out.  “I’ve barely talked.”
“Silent treatment can hurt.”
Another eye-roll.  “You complained the other day that I talk too much.  Now it’s not enough.”
A fair point:  he did snap at you that night, right before he kissed you.  He doesn’t want to rehash it at the moment.  His own arousal is awake, powering up, so he lifts his eyebrows at you and says, hopeful, “so?”
“So what?”
“Five minutes, then we go?”
“Fuck off.”  You move past him, out of the doorway and back into your office.  “You just want more ammo for your asshole buddies.  Tell ‘em all about hooking up with the ice princess or whatever.”
Benny shuts the door to your office, but he’s on the wrong side of it.  He takes the few steps to follow you and says, “I didn’t tell them.”
Another one of your bitter tsch sounds.  “Because it’s embarrassing.  Yeah, I know.  You already—”
“It isn’t their business.”  He cuts you off, and if he’s been teasing you before, he’s deadly serious now.  It isn’t their business.  Not Henderson, not Z, not Connors.  Certainly not Big Nick.  He chafes under their closeness sometimes, hates that they work and party together so much that it feels like he has no privacy.  But this thing—a one-time hook-up that maybe is burgeoning into more—belongs to the two of you.  You and Benny.  No one else.  He tells you so, in far fewer words.
You don’t believe him.  You finally turn and watch him, and the expression in your eyes is pure wariness.  Underneath it, though, he swears he sees a glint of something else, something not easily defined—
“Come on,” he says.  He sounds whiny but he doesn’t care.  “You keep scrapping with me, and we could already be fucking.”
It makes you smile.  It blossoms across your face like you can’t help it, and in the moment Benny just thinks got you, sweetheart, but afterwards he’ll think about how your smile, rare as it is, holds no artifice, not a single ounce of guile.  He’ll think, later on, how your smile transforms your entire face from one of a brittle sort of prettiness to something extraordinarily beautiful.
“Fine,” you answer him, and if you weren’t you, it’d be adorable how you act like you’re put out, like you’re doing him a favor.  “Lock the door then, Magalon.”
-----
The interlude in your SUV wasn’t romantic by any stretch, but you try to make this moment even less so.  At least that first time, it started with him kissing you, you kissing him back.  Now, you’re all business, and he stares for a beat as he watches you kick off your shoes, as you start to unbutton your pants.
“Damn, slow down,” he says.
“You have five minutes.”  You push your pants down, give a little shimmy to get them over your hips, over your ass.  You get them off but you shake them out and hang them over your chair, fussy as ever.
Benny closes the gap between you, and he manages to reach down and still your hands before you can get your panties off.  He clasps them and draws them up, presses them to his chest. 
“Slow down,” he repeats.  He says it softer, almost a whisper, and it makes you lift your gaze to find him.
The corner of your mouth quirks into a near-smile.  “Well, now you have four—”
He doesn’t let you finish.  He bends his head and cuts off your smart-ass mouth with a kiss, steals the words from you.  Your lips are just as soft as that night, and when he groans at the feel of them, he feels them curve into a smile.  A beat later, he feels the sharp line of your teeth nipping at him, not very hard, and then the tip of your tongue tracing along his lower lip.
Benny releases your hands.  He wraps one around the back of your neck to hold you to him.  He places the other on your waist, and he pushes his fingers under the hem of your shirt to revel in the feel of your skin—soft, and so warm that you feel almost feverish.
You?  You don’t romance it beyond kissing him, but you’re eager.  He can feel it shimmering off of you like heat on pavement on a summer’s day.  Your hands reach down on him; one fumbles at his belt and the button and fly of his jeans while the other cups him through the denim.  He inhales sharply at your touch, even through the layers of clothing.  He breaks the kiss a moment later when you snake your hand under his jeans and his boxers—the sudden feeling of your warm palm on his cock, coaxing him from half-hard to fully erect.
“Eager.  Knew you missed me,” he gloats.  He tries to catch your eye but you avoid him, shake your head.
“Shut up,” you mumble, and it’s defensive, and it could lead to you stopping this whole encounter and putting that wall up around you again, so he leaves it be and kisses you again.
Benny wonders what it would be like to take his time with you.  This is paltry; it’s a meager mouthful, barely enough to sate any appetite.  When he hoists you onto the edge of your desk and pushes into you—you’re already wet, just as he had guessed, so you must get turned on by scrapping with him—it feels just as amazing as before.  Your pussy is molten, velvety, gripping him like a fist until he grits his teeth so he doesn’t embarrass himself and come too soon…
…yet he wonders how much better it would be to take his time.  To have the luxury of time and space and privacy, to strip you completely naked and see what you really look like.  He’d love to edge you, he thinks.  He’d love to see you stretched out on a bed, back arching away from the mattress as he pushes you to the precipice of your orgasm only to deny you at the last moment.  He’d love to strip away every bit of ego you have, every bit of smugness that sets you higher than him in your own opinion.  He’d love to frustrate you completely in bed, would love to see your eyes leaking tears, that mean mouth of yours begging him so sweetly…
…because even like this, once he gets his cock in you, you turn so nice.  It gentles you, rounds off the sharp bits and edges of you.  Your face goes soft with wonder.  Your eyes go soft when you meet his gaze.  As he fucks you—sharp thrusts, steady pace—you tilt your face up to him, and you look so unlike yourself that he kisses you again.  You sigh into it, hold him tighter where your arms are wrapped around his shoulders to help hold yourself steady at the awkward angle.
Neither of you say much else.  He wraps an arm around your waist as he drives into you, and you mumble when you’re close but he already knows:  as inscrutable as you are, as placid as your face can be when you’re masking yourself around him, your body is an open book.  He feels like he’s tuned in perfectly to whatever wavelength you’re operating on.  He hears the way your breathing picks up, feels how your kisses get sloppier as you sink into the sensation of your approaching orgasm.  He feels how your cunt grips him tighter, how your arousal coats him and makes it easier to bottom out in you.
He tells you he’s close too, and that’s about the sum of your conversation for the rest of the night:  you come a beat later, with a keening whine that sets him off and gives him barely enough time to pull out before he’s painting your belly with his cum. 
You’re both quiet afterwards.  He resists the urge to kiss your forehead before he parts from you.  You might be resisting a similar urge, because you pat him awkwardly on his shoulder in a “way to go, sport” sort of way.  But neither of you say much as you clean up, dress, reassemble yourselves.  You’re both silent as you leave together, likely remembering how quickly shit turned mean the last time you fucked.
“Hit the rest of the evidence tomorrow morning?” he asks, and you meet his gaze and then nod. 
You turn towards where your SUV is parked, but you turn back a beat later, tell him to drive safely. 
*****
The case progresses slowly. 
You and Benny continue…well, whatever it is, you continue it.
It gives you whiplash.  The mean sniping with each other, the insults and barbs you trade.  He still follows the ice princess routine, the prissy, bland, clean-living routine.  He makes wild assumptions about your life—accuses you of loving beige, of being boring, of decorating your home in “live, laugh, love” décor.  His speculations about your sex life—as it exists outside of your hookups with him, that is—make you sound repressed and tedious.  You fuck white-collar men, he claims.  With the lights off.  Missionary.  Through a hole in the sheet.
All of that contrasted against how he’s kinda, sorta nice when you hook up.  He kisses you nicely, helps you clean up afterwards.  You tend to fuck in inconvenient places that test your flexibility, and Magalon is nice about it, considerate to take as much of the discomfort as he can rather than let you twist or strain to make it work.
Tall, Dark, and Stupid.  He is capable of being nice, you guess.  Who would have thought?
Only capable of it, though.  It’s not an innate character trait, you assume.  He’s still a mean asshole, snarky, and sometimes his words hit their target dead on and other times they only glance off of you.  You’re never sure when they’re going to hurt and when they’re going to make you laugh.
Once, you hook up in your office again, quiet because it’s the lunch hour and there’s twenty fellow FBI agents on the other side of your locked office door.  Magalon makes a crude joke afterwards about how you need to take a day off to meet up with your waxer, and your anger at the double standard—this dude who rolls around Los Angeles in a flannel with scruffy facial hair, judging you—washes through you immediately.  You open your mouth to argue because his judgement still stings, still makes you feel small and unworthy, but you catch him holding back a smile.  His stupid dimple gives him away, and he reaches down and smacks your ass lightly before he goes to leave.
“Save that feistiness for next time,” he tells you, and he drops you a wink, and you hate that he knows you will hold onto his comment, that you will likely visit your salon before you see him again.  You hate that he’ll see the results and smirk knowingly. 
You hate that he’ll know he is capable of getting to you.
Another time, he hurries you along.  It’s early evening, and he’s watched the clock all afternoon.  It’s distracting and keeps your orgasm frustratingly out of reach, like you can brush your fingertips against it but not get a firm grip.  You do what you always do, then:  you gasp beside his ear, you bear down.  You fake it.
You think he probably knows, because he peers at you through narrowed eyes right before he comes, and you hate that he’s savvy enough about your body to know the difference between the real thing and faking.
“Got somewhere to be,” he tells you as you clean up.  You hear the rustle of his jeans, the clink of his belt buckle. 
“Well, don’t let me hold you up.”
“Got a date,” he adds, and you catch the sidelong glance he gives you.  No dimples though.  You wonder if it’s true or if he’s riling you up.
“Lucky girl.”  You perch on the edge of your desk and pull your shoes back on.
“You sound jealous.”
“I’m not.”  You aren’t.  You’re relieved to find the thought of Magalon going on a date with someone else doesn’t spark any emotion at all.  You’ve done a lot of dumb things lately—chiefly the detective standing in your office, zipping up his pants—but at least catching feelings for said detective isn’t one of them.
“You sure?”  He peers at you again, and his face is back to its usual stoic stoniness.  Not a hint of smile, and you can’t read whatever is going on behind his dark eyes.
“Be sure to hold the door open for her,” you advise him.  “Women love basic politeness.”
“If you’re jealous…”
“I’m not.  Go.  Have fun.”  You shoo him away.  You sit down at your desk, not wanting to leave with him and go through this jealous-or-not-jealous routine in the parking lot too.  You see him out of the corner of your eye while he lingers in your doorway, and then he’s gone.
You don’t catch the faint hurt, the disappointment on his face when he leaves, like he was hoping you’d be jealous of the thought of him out with another woman, wining and dining her properly instead of just hate-fucking her. 
And he, of course, isn’t there later to see when the jealousy finally does hit you.  It’s just a small feeling; there’s no wild tears or tight chest.  You’re already home and walking your dog when it hits.  You imagine him out with a nameless woman, and you fill in all the features based on where you find yourself lacking:  this nameless woman has smaller, perkier tits, a better ass, a perfectly landscaped pussy.  She oozes warmth and openness.  No one has ever accused her of being an ice princess.  She has a complete, happy family:  parents who are still married and still very much in love, an older sister, a younger brother.  By the time you’re done walking the dog, you have written an entire history for this nameless woman, and the sting of jealousy needles deeper.
“It’s just fucking,” you remind yourself in bed that night, chiding yourself for getting so worked up over nothing.  “It’s just hate sex.”
Still, maybe this is the moment you need to end it.  It’s just a bad idea all around.  Magalon says he’s never told his buddies, but you can’t be sure and you certainly don’t trust him.  Hooking up isn’t against the rules, per se, but you’d hate the judgment that would spring up around the office.  It also distracts you when your attention should be elsewhere; the thought of prior hook-ups, the promise of more.  And now that you know he’s seeing other people outside of this thing you have, you’d have to make him wear a condom anyway.  No sense in putting yourself at risk.
“Easier to just end it,” you mumble as you roll over, tuck your hands under your pillow and try to make yourself comfortable.
Yes, that’s what you’ll do.  You’ll just end it.  Cold-turkey.  No need to make a scene about it.  The next time he reaches for you, you’ll just gently and firmly decline.  You’re not really the sort of woman to go for hate-fucking anyway, so breaking off your thing with Magalon is just you getting back to who you really are. 
A temporary break from sanity, but now you’re returning to who you are.
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This Christmas - Prequel
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Pairing: Benny "Borracho" Magalon x F!Reader
Word count: 8,219
Summary: This is a prequel of sorts to this from last year. It’s basically the how Benny and the reader met, etc
Warnings: Mostly Hallmark-style fluffy stuff, lots of pining, but brief mention of loss, guilt, some foul language. If I missed anything else let me know and I'll add it in. 
A/N: I don’t know folks, I started writing this and was really chugging along and had a whole plan for how I wanted this to be. Then I got sick with everyone’s favorite illness from 2020 and lost a lot steam. I found, I think, a happy compromise with myself because I wanted to post this before Christmas (self imposed deadlines am I right?) and realized I can always I don’t know, post more parts of it later?? I am my own worst critic so if you read this and it isn’t your jam, please don’t say anything lol I’ve probably already thought it, so it would be redundant! Also, clearly, I do not know the proper use of a semicolon, or an em dash and I don't have an editor, so we'll all just have to deal. Anyways, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, all that jazz
-----------
It’s a little after six in the morning and they still haven’t rolled in. Usually, the five of them would have been here for an hour already; a few hungover, one still drunk, and the fifth one acting like an adult babysitter for the other four. It’s weird how this happens–people come into your little donut shop and after a while, instead of you becoming part of their routine, they become part of yours. Eventually they start to feel like stand-ins for the friends you hardly ever get to see. You’re busy with your business and they’re busy with their jobs and families.
It could feel lonely, but you have people like Noreen, who comes in every Friday to buy three dozen assorted donuts for her team. Noreen is kind and not the type of person you envision working at a private equity firm. When you were thinking about expanding into the small space next door, she looked at your plan and helped you figure out where you were being too aggressive and in some cases too shortsighted. She didn’t ask for anything in return, but you made sure her next three dozen donuts were on the house. 
There’s Will, a retired teacher, who comes in every Sunday. He used to come in with his partner, Charles, and they would sit at the table you have set up near the front window. They traded off different sections of the newspaper while drinking their coffee and sharing one old-fashioned donut and one raspberry jelly donut; they never strayed from those. Charles passed away six months ago and it was unexpected. You didn’t expect to see Will for a while, but routine is hard to give up especially when it’s the only thing you have left. Every Sunday morning you set a 'reserved' sign on the table near the window. 
There’s Stuart, who hangs out in the plaza your shop is located in. You’re not sure if he’s unhoused or just likes to spend his day outside, but it felt strange to always see him and not interact with him. One day you invited him to come by for coffee and a donut but he turned you down. You told him the offer was good for any time and that you hoped you’d see him in there soon. He came in a few days later and it made you feel like you were doing some good; and then you felt bad for feeling like that. Stuart’s reserved and not much of a talker so you just let him sit at a table while you go about your work. Some days he’ll start a conversation; it’s rare but it feels like you both trust each other enough to make more than small talk. If you don’t see him in his usual spot outside, you worry. He usually turns up a few days later, but you're concerned that at some point he won’t turn up and what are you supposed to do then?
There’s a handful of people that fall into this category of if they never came back you would notice. It’s because some of them are smart and kind like Noreen. Some because they sit in the same spot, newspaper sections still divided in two, like Will. Some because their silence fills your little shop, like Stuart. And some whose absence you would notice because they don’t fit into these boxes. Sometimes they can be loud or irritating; but they can also be entertaining. And they’re are always five of them, but only one that makes you feel like you’re thirteen and just saw your middle school crush.
They started coming in sometime in February. You only remember because the biggest one said he’s 'not eating a fucking, prissy, heart-shaped donut.' Some men are like that, afraid if they come in contact with something feminine that’s not a woman, that their dick will fall off. He was loud and obnoxious and only one of the other four looked truly embarrassed for the guy and for himself. He apologized for his friend and ordered five large coffees and a dozen glazed donuts. 
“You sure glazed are going to be manly enough for your friend over there?” 
You ticked your head over towards the table where his friends were sitting. He laughed and it was a surprisingly warm laugh for a man with neck tattoos. 
“He won’t even remember being here, let alone what kind of donuts he ate.”
He sounded annoyed but used to the behavior. You remembered having friends like that, in your twenties, but you were well past that age and so were these guys by the look of it. You saw him eyeing an apple fritter so you grabbed it from the case, put it on a plate, and set it on the counter next to the box of donuts. 
“On the house, since it doesn’t look like you’re getting paid for your babysitting duties.”
He smiled, said thank you, and then went to sit with his loud friends. You noticed he was quiet in comparison and thought it would be nice if they were all quiet like that. 
When they were getting ready to leave you saw that the quiet one made sure all the trash was thrown away and all the dishes went into the right bin. At the door as they were leaving he gave you a small wave thanking you again. There was something about his smile that made it feel like flowers were blooming in your stomach. That feeling carried you for a week. You’d think of that moment of him at the door and a fog would enter your brain and the flowers in your stomach would grow larger. 
The feeling would start to subside after a while and you would get caught up in your real life–your business, the rare time with your friends, the occasional bad date. It would slowly drift from the front of your mind to the back. Then they would show up and the cycle would continue. 
The one who had the soft smile and neck tattoo, you learned his name was Benny. And that if you gave him a choice between the apple fritter and anything else, he would choose the apple fritter one hundred percent of the time. The loud drunk, that was Big Nick and he’s only been not drunk five percent of the time they’ve come in. There’s Connors, Zapata, and Henderson–you’ve only heard them referred to by their last names. A thing that you’ve only ever heard men do. They all come in once or twice a month–usually early, usually hungover. It makes you wonder what they do before they end up at your place. You never ask because to know would be to probably ruin your crush on Benny.
Benny always pays and there’s a part of you that hopes he’s doing it just for the chance to talk to you. When he leaves he always gives you a wave goodbye and a thanks again. The flowers in your stomach have bloomed and blossomed to an embarrassing degree by the end of May. And that’s when they stopped coming in. 
—-
Benny shakes his head no at Connor’s who’s trying to hand him a beer, “Not feeling it tonight.”
Benny isn’t feeling it any night, but he keeps that to himself. The drinking, the cocaine, the women, none of it interests him and it hasn’t for a while. Since February if he’s being honest with himself. 
They had ended up at your donut shop, Glazy for You under random circumstances. The usual place they would go to sober up after one of these parties had been closed down by the health department. He should have known it was bound to happen, the place was dim and oddly seedy for a diner. Benny was the designated driver that night, since he hadn’t been feeling well he didn’t drink and spent most of the night ushering random women out of a grim motel room. When he saw Glazy for You as he was driving by, it looked like the complete opposite of his evening; it was bright, there were Valentine’s decorations on the window. It looked comforting and warm, two things he felt like he was missing in his life.
Nick of course was an asshole and Benny felt like he spent a lot of time silently apologizing to you. His apologies must have entered you mind telepathically because you gave him an apple fritter–the best apple fritter he’s ever had in his whole fucking life. There must have been some kind of magic in because that moment lodged itself somewhere in his heart and reappears when he’s feeling low. Like now–sitting in this motel room, on this couch that probably hasn’t been cleaned in two decades, watching his friends lose their fucking minds over shit they should have outgrown. 
Benny hasn’t seen you in months, ninety-seven days to be exact, not that he’s counting. They’ve been working on one case after the next and it’s left time for little else. No post drug test parties, no early mornings sitting in a donut shop waiting for everyone to sober up, no you. It’s been sleep and work for three months straight. Last time he saw you, it seemed like you were happy to see him. Maybe he imagined that feeling; misunderstood the warmth in your smile. Maybe that’s the smile that you’ve practiced in order to be able to perform it for everyone. Maybe everyone feels what he feels when they see you.
Benny sinks further into the couch and looks up at the ceiling. It’s a drop ceiling which brings back memories of a case he had worked on. While securing a crime scene, they were in the living room of a run down apartment. It had this same type of ceiling and a body fell right through it onto the floor. He thinks that maybe this is how it ended up being called a drop ceiling, because shit just drops right out. That thought, that memory makes him realize that he doesn’t want to be in this room anymore. He gets up, grabs his jacket off the back of the couch, and leaves. He hears Connors call after him as he’s closing the door but he doesn’t care. He only has one place that he wants to be right now.
—-
You’re putting a tray of bear claws in the display case when you hear the door open. It’s still early, the sun is barely up, pink and purple hues are still in the sky. You get a lot of municipal workers that come in at this time, barely past opening. So it’s a little bit of a surprise when you get a glimpse through the display case of Benny walking in, alone.
There’s a second while you’re crouched down, adjusting the tray that you let yourself be excited; allow yourself to give into the childish feeling of getting a glimpse of your crush. Your knees are wobbly as you stand up–unsure if it’s because you’re getting old or because he’s looking right at you.
“Oh hey, how’ve you been?” You wipe your palms on the front of the apron you’re wearing. “It’s been a while.”
You try to sound neutral, neither excited to see him or disappointed that it's been so long. He smiles and that familiar sensation of flowers blooming returns. 
“We’ve been working on a lot of cases and it’s been hard to find time for anything else.” 
You lean forward and rest your arms on top of the bakery case. 
“Cases? You guys are lawyers?” As the words leave your mouth you realize how truly stupid it sounds. You’ve never in your life seen any lawyers that look like these guys. 
Benny chuckles and rubs the back of his neck, something he does when feels embarrassed or self conscious.
“No, definitely not lawyers. Detectives. We work for the Los Angeles Sheriff’s Department.”
You fail at suppressing a laugh, “I’m sorry. All of you are detectives? Even your friend Nick?”
Benny knows your laugh isn’t mean spirited and if he were you, he’d probably laugh too, knowing what he knows about the people he works with. He moves closer to display case and leans in. 
“Even Nick. You seem surprised.”
“It’s just. I.” You pause, trying to choose your words with care, because you like Benny and you don’t want to insult him, “I mean, it’s hard to imagine being a victim of a crime or something and like Nick is the person taking your statement, trying to help you. That is my nightmare.”
You hope you don’t sound like an asshole, but the idea of Nick serving and protecting seems like a stretch. If you offend Benny, he doesn’t show it, he just laughs.
“The way that you’ve seen him, I can understand the sentiment. He’s not like that a hundred percent of the time. I promise.” 
You give Benny a joking look, “Okay, but what percentage are we talking here?”
You’re both laughing when the rest of the guys walk in. The rowdiness is a shock to your system after not dealing with it for a while. You look at Benny and he’s no longer leaning in towards you and maybe you’re projecting, but you think he looks a little disappointed too.
Benny’s disappointed, but he tries his best to hide it. The guys may be drunk, but they are cops and they are perceptive. Benny already knows he has a reputation among them as being soft. It used to bother him, but it hasn’t for a while. He knows he would rather be soft than be the type of man that can’t feel anything other than bitterness and rage. 
“Borracho, you fucking asshole, you left us.”
Nick, is of course loud and slurring his words. Benny hopes you can’t understand Spanish–he doesn’t want to be known as a ‘drunk’ to you.
Benny turns from you to look at the guys. Connors is propping Nick up; Henderson and Zapata are stumbling towards a table. 
“I was hungry.”
Benny hopes it’s enough to shut Nick up. He knows it’s not because he sees Nick loosen himself from Connors and stumble towards him. He claps a large, drunk hand on Benny’s shoulder and the force almost knocks him backwards. 
“Fuck, Borracho. You’re no fun anymore.”
Nick is a mess and that’s not really that surprising to you. What is surprising is how uncomfortable Benny looks. He has the look of a man who would give anything to disappear. You can’t really blame him, these guys, Nick especially, are exhausting to be around and you only deal with them for a few hours a month.
“Can I get you guys something or are you just going to loiter?”
Benny looks towards you and you give him a sympathetic smile. He shakes Nick off of him and is about to order when Nick lurchers towards the counter that you’re standing behind. You step back as he unsuccessfully tries to paw at you.
“I know what you can get me, sweetheart.”
Benny groans and runs a hand over his face, “Jesus Christ, Nick. Shut the fuck up.”
You step closer to the counter and lean forward, putting a hand on Nick’s shoulder.
“What did I tell you about calling me ‘sweetheart’?”
Nick tilts his head to the side and mutters, “That the next time I do it, you’ll put my head in the deep fryer.”
You pat his shoulder, “Good, you remember.”
You hear Zapata, Henderson, and Connors–who’s joined them at their table laughing and chanting do it, do it.
You gently push Nick away from the counter, “Go sit down unless you’re willing to see if I’m serious.” You look over at Benny, who no longer looks like he wants to disappear. “Benny, five coffees and a dozen glazed, right?”
Benny nods his head, “Yeah, that’s good.”
Nick turns around and starts walking towards where Connors, Zapata, and Henderson are sitting. He jerks his thumb back towards you, “She’s no fun either.”
Benny feels awkward standing here, watching you gingerly place twelve glazed donuts in a box and then pour five large coffees. It’s calming though, watching you do routine things, like you’re slowly rooting out the anxiety of being around drunk idiots. You put the coffees in a tray and place it down on the counter next to the donuts. 
Benny pulls out his wallet to pay, “Uh, sorry,” he pauses, he’s sorry about a lot suddenly, “sorry about Nick. He was acting like an asshole.”
You shrug and hand Benny his change, “Don’t worry about it.”
Benny is sitting with the guys and can’t help feeling like he’s messed something up. You didn’t give him an apple fritter like you normally do. He wonders if you’re mad that he didn’t do something more when Nick was acting like an asshole. Maybe he’s overthinking it–he can’t expect you to give him a free donut every time you see him. It’s possible he’s misread the situation entirely, that you’re just friendly and nothing more. He watches you behind the counter adjusting things, bagging up donuts for customers that have come in. When Benny checks his watch for the time, he misses seeing you slip an apple fritter in a bag and write 'Benny' in a tidy script. 
You watch the guys start filtering out of your place; Nick and Connors are first and from the store window you can see them getting into separate cabs. Benny is still throwing trash away as Henderson and Zapata leave. They share a cab and you imagine that maybe they rallied enough to start drinking again at 7:30am. You see Benny heading towards the door and it looks like he’s leaving without giving his usual wave goodbye. Your stomach sinks a little–maybe he’s mad at you for not joking around more with Nick or the other guys. Or it could just be that he’s tired and wants to go home and you’re creating feelings that aren’t there. 
You grab the bag with the apple fritter from below the counter and hold it up, “Hey, you forgot something.”
Benny looks at the bag with his name on it–it’s the nicest handwriting he’s ever seen. He walks over to the counter and takes the bag from your hand, your fingers overlapping for a fraction of a second. 
“So this means you’re not mad at me?”
“Why would I be mad at you? Wait, you think because of Nick?” You look at him strangely as he nods his head yes, “He’s the idiot, I’m not going to hold that against you.”
Benny smiles, “That’s good to know.” He starts walking away, but stops when he gets to the door, holding up the bag with the donut, “Thanks again. I’ll see you later.”
“Take care, Benny.”
—-
“You like that girl at the donut place?”
It sounds less like Connors is asking you a question and more like stating a fact. Benny’s a little caught off guard and pretends to start looking for something on his desk.
“What?” 
Benny tries to sound confused, like he’s never even heard the word donut before.
“At the donut place. The girl who runs it, are you into her or something? You always act fucking weird when we’re in there.”
Benny thinks back to all the times they’ve been at Glazy for You, trying to remember his behavior. Did he look at you for too long? Say ‘goodbye’ in a way that sounded like he didn’t want to leave. Benny opens the bottom drawer of his desk and pretends to look for something. 
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 
Benny knows he doesn’t sound convincing and Connors must hear it too because he keeps going.
“Really?” Connors sounds incredulous. “You’re always lingering at the counter. She’s always giving you free donuts. Any of this ringing a bell for you?”
Benny can feel Connors staring at him. He closes the desk drawer and goes back to looking at the file on his desk.
“Maybe she likes giving away free donuts. I really couldn’t tell you.”
Connors crumbles a piece of paper into a ball and lobs it at Benny’s head, hitting him just behind the ear. 
“Whatever you say asshole.”
—-
The summer goes by quickly–it’s one of your busier seasons. School is out, the weather is nice–there are day camps, company off-sites, and sleepovers. All the types of occasions where the people in charge don’t want to make breakfast but need to provide it. Benny and the guys come in a few times throughout the summer. It feels a little different from before. Benny doesn’t linger at the counter as much anymore and sometimes one of the other guys pays. It’s stupid little things that you shouldn’t notice, but you do, because they used to be part of your routine. It’s embarrassing thinking you let this crush on Benny become such a big part of your life that you’d notice he didn’t pay last time or the time before that. It’s that embarrassment that makes you start building a wall around that garden in your stomach so the flowers can’t reach your heart.
It’s the end of October when you’re opening up one morning and it registers for you that you haven’t seen Stuart since some time around June or July. His absence gnaws at you. You feel like a bad person for not noticing sooner; that feeling that you failed someone even though they weren’t your responsibility. You don’t know what to do or if there’s anything you actually can do. So when you see Benny a few weeks later it feels like a little bit of a last resort when you ask for his help.
—-
You were hoping that Benny would be the person paying this time when they all came in, so you could mention Stuart without having to pull him aside. But he doesn’t and it makes you a little anxious trying to figure out the best way to talk to him about something serious. So it’s a relief when it looks like he’s going to be the last one to leave. He’s behind Connors and when Connors makes it out the door, you stop Benny who’s close behind.
“Benny, hey. Do you have a second?”
You come out from behind the counter, nervously smoothing the apron tied around your waist in short downward strokes. Benny stops and lets the door go from his hand. You look upset and he hopes it’s not because he’s been acting standoffish lately. Ever since Connors asked about you, he’s been trying his best to act normal–whatever that means–around you. 
“Did Connors’s card get declined again?”
You let out a small laugh, “No. Um, I was actually wondering if you could help me with something.”
Benny steps a little closer to you. You have some powdered sugar on your cheek and he has to stop himself from brushing it off. 
“Yeah, of course. What’s going on?”
“This is probably going to sound weird, or stupid. Maybe both. But there’s this  guy who h—”
Benny cuts you off; his voice is a little rougher, “If someone is bothering you, I’ll take care of it.”
You laugh awkwardly, “Oh no, it’s nothing like that. It’s this guy, Stuart. He usually hangs out around here and I have him come in sometimes for coffee or donuts and I haven’t seen him in…since maybe July, I think? I’m just a little worried.” You pause and try to read Benny’s face to see what he’s thinking, “Sorry, this probably sounds stupid to you. I don’t even know what I’m asking.”
Benny scratches his jaw piecing together what he thinks you’re getting at, “Do you know his last name?”
You notice that Benny’s voice has gone back to the soft tone that you’re used to. He’s looking at you with compassion and not like you’re stupid or some kind of burden. Benny is the kind of person that you would want helping you in a crisis and it makes you wish there were more people like him in his line of work.
“I don’t, but I printed a photo from the security camera I have.” You walk over to the counter and lean over, grabbing the photo from under the register. “I don’t even know if you can do anything with that. I watch a lot of crime shows. Don’t judge me.”
Benny laughs and shakes his head as you hand him the photo.
“I don’t want to get your hopes up, but I’ll see what I can find out.”
“Yeah of course. It’s…I don’t know. I’d feel like a bad person if something were to happen to him and I could have helped.”
Benny feels bad because he knows how these things generally end up. Usually there are no happy endings.
“You can’t put that on yourself.”
You nod your head, “I know, but still, you know?”
Benny understands the feeling and also understands it’s easier to tell someone something isn’t their fault than to know it yourself. 
As Benny leaves you start to feel a bit lighter. Like someone has taken some of your worry, some of your concern and is carrying it for you; so you aren’t so weighed down.
—-
“What was that about?”
Benny is surprised to see Connors waiting for him in the parking lot. 
“Nothing. Well, I guess there’s some guy, homeless, I don’t know. He usually hangs out around here. She hasn’t seen him for a while. She’s worried.”
Connors flicks a cigarette on to the pavement, “Figures she’s one of those bleeding heart types. What did you tell her?”
Benny pats his jacket and then his pants pockets feeling around for a pack of cigarettes, forgetting briefly that he’s trying to quit. Connors pulls his pack from his pocket and tosses them to Benny.
Benny pulls a cigarette out, “I told her I’d look into it.”
Connors laughs and hands Benny a lighter, “Chump.” He waits a beat for Benny to light his cigarette, “But, if you want. We can start looking into it now.”
Benny’s grateful it’s Connors out here and not one of the other guys. Benny and Connors go back further than just Major Crimes and he’s someone Benny would trust with his life.
—-
Benny’s worried that he’s going to have to deliver you bad news. Best case scenario seems like Stuart is in jail. Not great, but it would mean that he’s alive. Worst case scenario is that he can’t find Stuart and that usually doesn’t mean anything good. Benny is suddenly hoping for some kind of miracle for a person he doesn’t even know. 
The photo you gave him does turn out to be useful. Connors is able to find him in the system through facial recognition. Stuart Morton has a record; a few arrests for driving while under the influence and some time in a county jail. Benny is able to get a last known address but it’s over a year old. It’s a sober living house that’s not actually that far from Glazy for You. He doesn’t have much hope that going there will bring him any closer to finding Stuart. 
It takes a couple of weeks, but Benny is finally able to meet with David, the director of the sober living facility. He finds it’s better to meet with people in person. Talking with people over the phone, he’s learned, makes it easier for them to not give you the information you need. David of course is a little guarded at first with Benny; not wanting to share anything that could get Stuart in trouble, which Benny can’t really fault him for. Benny explains the situation, that the owner of a donut shop near here is worried because they haven’t seen him in a while. When Benny mentions your name to David, he lights up.
“Her glazed old fashioneds are the best ones in this entire state.” He pauses and to Benny it looks like he’s getting lost in the memory of a donut, a feeling he knows well. 
“I didn’t realize you two knew each other.” 
David turns away from Benny to look through a drawer in a filing cabinet, “Just this year we got to talking and she’s been generous enough to donate breakfast here every month. And recently she’s been working with us on a job training program at her bakery.” 
Benny thinks back to Connors calling you a ‘bleeding heart’ and is glad he came here by himself. 
“She didn’t mention anything about knowing Stuart lived here.”
David pulls a folder from the cabinet and thumbs through it, “Stuart is the type to not overshare, so that doesn’t surprise me.” He pauses to write something down on a piece of paper and hands it to Benny, “Here. This is his sister Noreen’s information. When he left, he was going to be staying with her for a while. Might still be there.”
Benny barely makes it to his car before calling the number that David gave him. 
—-
“Wait, so you’re saying that Noreen, the Noreen that comes in here, is Stuart’s sister?”
It’s late in the day, near the time that you close up. You and Benny are sitting across from each other at the table near the window. It’s hard to believe what he’s telling you, that Stuart used to be a resident at the sober living facility, the one where David works; that Noreen is Stuart’s sister and somehow all these dots never got connected for you.
“She didn’t realize that you two were,” Benny pauses looking for the right word, “friends. She feels terrible that you didn’t know he had moved out of the state and were worried. She said he’s doing well.”
You’re quiet for a moment, trying to take in everything Benny has been telling  you. It’s a lot to process, considering you had been preparing yourself to hear bad news. You can feel your eyes fuzzy with a few tears and feel a little embarrassed to be getting so emotional over the good news.
“It’s such a relief to know that he’s doing okay.” You feel a tear slide down your cheek and quickly brush it away hoping that Benny didn’t see it.
Benny can tell you’re trying to keep yourself from crying and he wants to tell you that it’s okay, that there wouldn’t be any judgment from him. He has the overwhelming urge to wrap his arms around you, but he knows it would be wildly inappropriate. He feels awkward sitting here, looking around, trying to figure out what he should say.
“I like the Christmas decorations you have up.” It’s lame and he knows it, but it seems better than freaking you out with a hug. You smile at him and that feels reassuring.
“You do?” You look over at Benny, nodding his head, “I know it makes me basic, but I love Christmas. The lights, the decorations, the movies, the music. Expect to see a lot of green and red frosted donuts until December 31st.” 
Benny laughs, “I’m looking forward to it.” He looks at his watch and starts to get up, “I should probably leave, so you can close up.”
You get up and follow Benny to the door, you put your hand on Benny’s forearm to stop him for a second and he feels a little spark through this jacket.
“Thank you, again, for everything.”
“I’m glad I could help. And that everything turned out okay.”
You’re not sure what it is that compels you to hug him, but you do. Maybe it’s the gentleness of his voice, or how he’s looking at you in a way he hasn’t before. It feels intimate and dreamy and it’s hard for you to recall the last time anyone has looked at you like that. It happens so fast that Benny barely has time to register what happened.
It hits him as he’s walking to his car–the delayed feeling of your arms around him. It strikes Benny that maybe there’s a chance you like him, that maybe you’re both kind of stupid and clumsy, and afraid to ask the other one out. There’s the realization that one of you will have to make the first move or it will go on like this forever. That he will see you every few months at your job, that he’ll get a free donut occasionally. It’s not enough for Benny and he knows that he can’t be stupid about this much longer.
—-
It’s the last piss test party of the year–the week before Christmas. The concept is idiotic–sure it made sense at one point when Benny wasn’t wading into the deep end of forty. Going to a cheap hotel to get drunk and high, have sex with women that Nick found God knows where. It was never appealing to Benny but he used to understand the idea of celebrating after your mandatory drug test. Now he usually just sits, drinks a beer or two, and tries to avoid contact with everyone. There’s something especially depressing about it during this time of year.
Benny’s spent the last few days mulling over the best way to ask you out. He regrets not asking you when he was giving you the news about Stuart. Although there’s a part of him that thinks maybe you would have felt obligated to say yes given the circumstances. He thinks about asking you tonight, if they end up there, but he doesn’t want to do it in front of the guys because you might feel obligated then too, maybe even feeling sorry for him and not wanting to embarrass him in front of everyone by saying no. If you say yes, he wants it to be because you actually mean it, he doesn’t want there to be any room for doubt.
His decision is made for him, because when they get to Glazy for You, you aren’t there. Benny can’t remember if there’s ever been a time when you haven’t been there, behind the counter, greeting him warmly. It’s a little bit of a shock to his system to see a middle-aged man in a goofy Christmas sweater in your place. Benny’s good at thinking up doomsday scenarios and imagines one in which you’re trying to avoid him, so you no longer work this early in the morning. But then he thinks of when you hugged him and that even though it was quick, it was like your touch had gone directly to his heart. He doesn’t stay much longer, opting to go home, lay in his bed, and try to figure out what he’s going to do.
—- 
You used to hate working during the holidays. Maybe it’s because you were working for other people and not yourself. Maybe it was because the work you were doing felt unimportant and people expected you to care even when everything else around you was winding down. Five years ago the thought of working on Christmas Eve would have made you want to walk into traffic. Now it feels different, like maybe you’re contributing to the holiday experience versus missing out on it entirely. You’ve always loved Christmas, but Christmas Eve is your favorite day of the year. It just feels more special somehow. There’s anticipation and excitement in the air. It’s possible it’s a product of all the Christmas movies you’ve watched over the years where there’s the idea that anything seems possible on this day. There’s something about the idea of your life changing for the better, surrounded by twinkle lights and ornaments that you find very appealing.
The morning is kind of slow–you spend most of it watching holiday episodes of tv shows on your phone. Around 11am you start cleaning up–taking trays out of cases, boxing up the donuts that are left to drop off at the comic book shop next door. You’re looking forward to going home and laying on the couch the rest of the day, queuing up your standard Christmas Eve movies. You’re ready to watch Scrooged and feel abnormally homesick, but then put on Christmas Vacation and remember why it’s never a good idea to spend Christmas with your entire family.
You’re in the back when you hear the bell on the door jingle, letting you know someone is out front. You consider just staying where you are, pretending no one is here so you can wrap up your day. You don’t want to have to tell anyone that you can’t help them with their donut emergency–getting yelled at on Christmas Eve is not something you’ve prepared yourself for today. So it’s a pleasant surprise when you make your way back out to the front and you see Benny.
“Hey, this is a—hi.” You’re not sure why you’re suddenly unable to put together a decent sentence.
Benny rubs the back of his neck with his hand, “Is this a bad time?”
“No. No, well. I mean, unless you were looking for a few dozen donuts. Then it definitely is.”
Benny smiles, “Actually,  I, um, was,” he pauses and tries to collect himself, he can suddenly feel his heart beating in his ears, “I wanted to ask you out. On a date.” The feeling has spread to his skull.
When he says it, it’s almost like the words traveled through your brain and you can’t comprehend what’s actually happening. Benny, the guy you’ve been harboring your fragile middle school crush on, is here asking you out. It makes little, if any sense to you.
“Are you just trying to get more free donuts?”
Benny shakes his head no, “I promise I’m not.”
You’re quiet as you consider what he’s asked–trying to reprocess the information in your mind so that it makes sense. When all the words are finally in place and you repeat them in your mind, you feel some of those flowers that you’d walled up in your stomach starting to push through the cracks.
“Yeah, okay.” You grab a business card from the counter, write your number on the back, and hand it to Benny.
Benny’s not sure he’s ever heard anything better than yeah, okay in his life, it’s like a bolt of lightning right to his core. He puts the card with your number in the chest pocket of his jacket, the safest place he can think of.
“Great. Amazing.” Benny laughs nervously. “I need to get back to work. I’ll text you.” 
“Okay. Well, have a good Christmas, Benny.” 
“You too.” 
Benny gives his standard small wave as he leaves and you lock the door after him. When he’s out of sight you let out a squeal and excitedly dance in place. Your phone vibrating in your back pocket interrupts you mid-happy dance. 
Hey, it’s Benny. Are you free for dinner on the 27th at 7?
Benny watches dots appear and then disappear on his phone. It feels a little bit like torture as he sits in his truck waiting for you to respond.
 Dinner on the 27th at 7 sounds great
Benny releases a breath he didn’t realize he was holding, Let me think of a place and I’ll text you the address
Sounds good. And you meant Dec 27th right?
Benny laughs to himself, Yes dec 27. I’m not going to wait until jan to take you to dinner
Just making sure 🙂
You read his last text at least ten more times before finally going back into the kitchen like you had intended. Each time you read it, there’s a sensation in your stomach like bricks dissolving and flowers blooming again.
—-
Benny texts you on the morning of the 26th with a restaurant name and an address. You already have the sense that he’s different, the type of person who has follow-through. You try to temper your excitement about dinner with him, not wanting to do that thing you sometimes do where you make something out to be more than it is. You keep telling yourself that it’s just dinner, nothing more. But as you pull up to the restaurant a few minutes late and see Benny standing outside, looking nervous in dark denim and a green flannel, you let yourself think that maybe it could be a little more than just dinner. 
“Sorry I’m a little late, I hope you weren’t waiting long?”
Benny smiles when he sees you standing in front of him, “I just got here a few minutes ago.” 
It’s a lie; the last one he’ll tell tonight; but he doesn’t want you to know that he was so amped up about this evening that he got to the restaurant thirty minutes early. On the way in, when you pass in front of him, your perfume delicately floats by him. It’s earthy, but slightly sweet, with cinnamon and vanilla blending neatly in–he’s sure it’s the most beautiful thing that he’s ever smelled. 
It’s a French restaurant, one that you’ve never been to before, but it’s cozy and still in the Christmas spirit. There are multicolored lights strung up and silver tinsel hanging from the ceiling. 
“Have you been here before?” Looking at Benny from across the table and you can see flecks of silver in his facial hair catching the light of the candle on the table. 
“My sister and her husband had their tenth anniversary party here last year. Most of my restaurant choices come from wherever she has an anniversary party.” 
You laugh, “Nice. Do you just have the one sister?”
Benny has just the one sister, you learn, among other things. You find talking to Benny is easy, he doesn’t give one word answers to questions like some men you’ve gone out with. Where trying to get to know them is like trying to get to know a slab of pavement. He’s funnier than you thought, something that you didn’t expect, but is a nice surprise.
“Did you always want to be a detective?”
Benny butters a piece of bread, “To be honest, the only thing I wanted to be growing up was a magician. I guess I saw one too many David Copperfield specials as a kid.”
You start laughing, “Do you know any magic tricks?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know. What about you?”
“I don’t know any, no.” You shrug jokingly as Benny laughs. “But, yeah, I guess I’m doing what I’ve always wanted to be doing. I’m lucky that things have worked out how they have.” 
Benny’s curious now, “You didn’t always work in a bakery?”
“Nope. I actually used to work in tech. It’s kind of a long story.”
“Well, I’m not in any hurry to end the evening.”
There’s something about Benny that puts you at ease, that makes you comfortable enough to want to open up to him. Something that you would never normally consider doing on a first date. You don’t feel the need to downplay that you made a lot of money when a company you worked for in New York was bought out. He doesn’t flinch when you tell him that the reason you moved to California was because of your now ex-husband. He tells you about his own divorce and for the first time in a long time you don’t feel so unlike yourself on a first date. It doesn’t feel scary telling him that you felt insignificant in your own life because of your work and your marriage. That every conversation with your husband made you feel like a burden.There’s a moment when you start to apologize, out of habit, but he stops you. He smiles when you say that the divorce was the best thing to happen to you because it–and you hate to say it like this–gave you your power back. 
“I always wanted to own my own business and I love donuts, so when the divorce happened, I just said fuck it, and went for it. Just threw myself into it.”
“I’m glad you did, I don’t know where else I’d get an apple fritter that good. And for free.” 
“Yeah, about that.” You smile playfully, “I’m going to have to start charging you before you put me out of business.” 
Benny makes a show of looking at his watch, pretending to want to leave, “I guess we should probably call it an evening then?”
He likes the way you laugh, how it’s kind of loud and fills the room. It makes him feel good, to hear you laugh, to see you smile; like he’s responsible for some bit of happiness you’re experiencing.
“See, I knew this was a scam.”
As the waiter clears the table and they wait for the check, Benny asks you what your favorite donut is. 
You don’t even have to think about it, “Definitely a maple bar.”
Benny watches as your eyes light up, telling him how you first had one when you spent the summer between fifth and sixth grade visiting your aunt in Seattle. He listens to you describe how your mom was, in the nicest terms you can find, an extreme dieter, who tried her best to pass all of her food issues down to you, and never let donuts in the house. But your aunt didn’t care and the first thing she did once she would pick you up from the airport was take you to her favorite bakery. It was the highlight of every summer after that until you graduated high school. It was the first donut you learned how to make because on the east coast they’re hard to find. You laugh when you say the best part of moving to the west coast is that every donut place has maple bars, but you’d like to think that yours are the best. Benny can’t help but think it’s cute.
Benny doesn’t want the night to end; he knows that you took a cab to the restaurant so he offers to drive you home. You try not to sound too eager in accepting his offer, but fail.
“Yeah, I’d love that.”
You ask him if he wants you to put your address into google maps for directions, but he doesn’t need them. Benny spends so much time driving all over the city that he knows every street, every highway, every interstate. The map exists in his head; he can get anywhere without really having to think about it. Benny drives you through some unfamiliar, but beautiful neighborhoods. The homes are still decorated and lit up, it’s like driving through the set of a Christmas movie–the only thing missing is snow.
You ask him more about his job, the guys he works with. You like hearing the stories that Benny has about them. You can tell by the way he talks about him, that he’s closest with Connors. You finally learn everyone’s first names and how Benny got his nickname–which you had previously googled out of curiosity. You ask if it bothers him to be called a drunk.
“Knowing the shit they all get into, not really.”
He says that it doesn’t matter what they call him because he knows that in any situation they’ll have his back and he’ll have theirs. That’s what he cares about.
When he pulls up to your house; a small, one-story home, string lights along the frame and around the windows; it looks exactly like he’d imagined. You both sit quietly for a few minutes unsure what to do next. 
Eventually you unbuckle your seatbelt, “I had a really good time tonight, Benny.”
“Me too. Come on, I’ll walk you to your door.” he looks over at you, “protect and serve, you know.” Benny knows it’s a dumb joke, but you laugh anyway.
When you get to the top of your steps, you find it hard to say goodbye. His face is illuminated by the Christmas lights and you can tell he doesn’t want to say goodbye either. You start to say something, you’re not even sure what, but no words come out because Benny’s mouth is on yours, his hands gently cradling your face. His lips are soft and you can feel the warmth of his tongue asking for permission. You drop your keys onto the porch and pull him closer to you by his belt loops.
It feels like hours have passed when Benny finally pulls away, “Sorry. I’ve been wanting to do that for months.”
You rest your hands on his chest, “Next time,” you gently tug on his shirt collar, “don’t wait so long.”
Benny smiles as he watches you crouch down to pick up the keys you dropped. When you stand back up, he reaches towards your face, his fingers grazing behind your ear, “Hold on, you have something in your—” Benny sweeps his fingers against your hair and when he brings his hand in front of you, he’s holding a small, folded piece of paper. 
You take it from him, unfolding it. When you see the words ‘what are you doing for new years?’ written down you start grinning, “So you do still know some magic tricks.”
Benny places his hand on your neck, his thumb stroking your cheek, “A few.”
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mariamariquinha · 7 months
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Bossa Nova (Benny ‘Borracho’ Magalon x f!reader) - Nine
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Eight
Summary: The LASD couldn't sustain its reputation as an honest police officer if it tried hard. In that case, no one tried.
Word count: 9.1k
Warnings: Bad words, talks about corruption, talks about sexism and racism, mentions of oral sex, mention of drug crimes, violence and other things related, strip clubs, sex workers, use of weed and... did I say sexism?
Author’s Note: I think this got a lot more personal than I thought, so I'm sorry if anyone has family members within the LASD who aren't corrupt - this isn't about them. This chapter doesn't have much romance, I'll warn you right away, but it's an important progression in the main characters' relationship. Give it a try!
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!
Join my taglist! Don’t forget to reblog, comment and like! As always, I would love to know what you’re all thinking! ❤
----------------------------
You were in the business a little while ago; a few years, nothing that still didn't stop you from getting suspicious looks or incessant questions to make sure your work was well done. Emma, ​​at least, who was the one who mattered at the moment, trusted your instincts and your ability; at best, she said you had good directions.
At worst, that you were very witty. The moment she called you into her office, you were sure this was the version of you she was hoping to meet.
“What did you do over the weekend?”
On Saturday, after finishing the initial report on the Ballard case, you realized you'd only slept for 4 hours when your brother made a ridiculous phone call to a tennis match with probably very wealthy friends. You went. After a scraped knee and sore thighs, you found that it was enough for his office to get a big case of something you didn't pay attention to. Then you enjoyed what felt like an uncomfortable sea spray from your air conditioner, which ended up going out for good and you had to walk in shame to Target to buy a fan. You had seen what looked like a seepage in your bathroom while you were brushing your teeth and that was the last clear vision in your memory of how your weekend went.
But maybe that wasn't what she wanted to know - no, it certainly wasn't that. And you treated the situation as such: deliberate disinterest to speculate.
“... Nothing special.” You shrugged, averting her gaze since she wasn’t even giving you the satisfaction of looking at your face. From the time being, Emma was always busy. You being there didn’t make sense. 
“Not making good use of the day offs?”
“My phone keeps on like I'm with the President himself,” Your tone wasn’t soft, nor polite. That grabbed her attention, enough to turn her eyes to you over her glasses, eyebrows raised. “Occupational hazard.”
“Mm.”
And she went back to her computer, typing and clicking and watching the screen as if you weren’t there. That made you scoff. Irrationally, you felt a twinge of disappointment and frustration with her.
“I won't tell you about what happened.”
“I’m not asking you to.”
“Thinking of ordering?”
“When you haven't used your authority for a long time, it becomes rusty. It's never a good idea in this line of work. Learned that from my mentor when I started.”
“And of course you thought you'd start this with me.”
“You are my main concern right now,” Emma made a scene to turn to you again, impatient and bothered by your behavior. “At first I thought you were fraternizing with the enemy too much, but then I'm pretty sure I lost you along the way. I don’t like this.”
In fact, you had gotten relatively invasive as the case progressed. Nick was never easy, that was a fact, nothing surprising or expected. The recent developments with Isla had left you in a position of naivete, as if you were as new to the business as an intern, deluded by TV advertisements and oblivious to what was really going on in the Department. If you got there and said everything, Emma would take you off the case. Maybe O'Brien even hinted at it, which could have led to that conversation, but the truth was that far from it or not, they both seemed to have a hard-on putting you in situations where they treated you like an avatar of personal control.
You noticed that your reports were right there on her desk - that she read them. Still, you shifted in your chair uncomfortably and looked away again, a grim expression crossing your face as you heard her sigh.
“You should have taken the days off I told you to.” The comment grabbed your attention after a beat of silence. 
No, don’t you dare-
“... I'll pretend you're not implying what I think you are.”
“It happens, you know? Maybe we did you wrong for not bringing the subject up for so long.”
“Don’t bring Theodore into this.”
“I’m trying to understand what’s happening!”
“What's going on is you've got a fucking cop on the verge of corruption taking the pomp and shitting rules around here,” You snapped, your voice quick and full of venom as you leaned in to make yourself heard. “What's happening is there's a girl who almost died because she was helping Nick and now she has a huge target on her back. The biggest problem is that these things happen around here as if they were routine and when a fucking person gets shot in the face, you have the indecency to call it a side effect when everything was nothing but irresponsibility.” 
There were things in your life that were untouchable, things that Theodore had done or that circumstances had only presented - things cruel or subtle, but things either way. That was from your father's side, people said, of being reactive to the unfair. He's always been on that part of the spectrum, even if the cops with questionable ethics and ambiguous behavior were in his basement collections.
You had chosen that career for the sake of the right thing and your cynicism carried you far enough to pass certain contexts in silence. Emma never got it out of your mouth that you knew what Nick and the guys did at the weekend parties or how the cocaine bust counts never rallied because someone ended up taking some for themselves. That even happened in the DEA as far as you knew. And you let all that go, because in the end that would be your job and there would always be a smaller percentage of subversion than of solution. O'Brien still caught the bad guys. Circumstantially, Mathias too. But one of the two always had a bit of powder in their nostrils or their cock inside an addicted whore. 
“Don't tell me it's the job. I’m aware.” Emma shut her mouth as soon as you said that, one hand raised to stop her. “But you and him make it all seem like a game of who's going to budge some kind of boundary you set. I’m not obligated to go through this.”
“What do you want me to do?”
The sigh that left your mouth was tired, suffocating. 
“Stick to my reports if you can. And if you're taking suggestions, don't try to be my friend. You're not very good at this.” 
When you got up to leave the room, Emma didn't stop you, but you didn't have any sense that you were winning anything. There was no relief. Your face was hot and your steps erratic.
Certain reputations had to come from somewhere, after all.
-------------------------
“My husband was a member of the group.”
Isla had a calm voice despite the context in which she was inserted. There were no handcuffs on her wrists or a guard inside the room; everything was done very smoothly. There was, however, a palpable tension in the air, as if a black cloud of violence or distortion hung within that interrogation room.
Really, you shouldn't even be there, watching. Henderson was sitting to one side as he watched through the glass the conversation Zapata and Gina were having with the woman, and that should be enough for them. Even so, it was Gina who suggested that you participate indirectly, presumably to find out details about the photography issue as she had a curious background in the business. She was good, you could tell. Depressed too.
According to the file, Isla was of Albanian origin. The parents were immigrants and ran a small textile business in Coney Island, but they weren’t anything but a fast topic of conversation. The features of her face, such as the more rounded nose and the full face, were half erased by the bruises. One eye was swollen with purple and yellow hues, her jaw was bruised and her lips were dry. One of her arms had been broken, as well as the shoulder on the same side had also been dislocated. You didn't see her coming, but you guessed that she walked with difficulty because of the wound in her left calf. It was the only shot she took, grazed but painful.
Looking at it that way, she didn't look so much like Debbie. Maybe their comparison was in the look: the two seemed equally taken by a feeling that hovered only in Nick. One that you didn't know what it was and that maybe nobody could put their finger on.
She spoke of everything. Kosovo, her relationship with a man named Oliver Clark, her marriage and children - Selim, with 5, and Dafina, with 9. 
You just noticed that Nick entered the room when you smelled his cologne. Bad smell, as always, enough to break any serious moment with that fragrance. You couldn’t help but make a face, pinching your nostrils once and clearing your throat. He ignored you, of course. Benny appeared right behind him with two cups of coffee - you two shared a brief look.
“We have the search warrant,” He said to everyone in the room, eyeing the scene in front of you with a stern face. “I also got WPP.”  
A little late for that, you thought but decided not to say anything.
“Anything important?” Took you time to understand that the question was directed to you. When the silence became too much, you turned to him and saw everyone staring. 
“... Nothing I didn't already imagine. I'll have better luck when I have the equipment,” You leaned over the table, just a touch, and read the notes you’d taken. “Leica M6 35mm, Pentax K1000 and… Nikon 35 Ti. Analog. This Leica is a rarity, I think it was the one she used for her first Homicide case.”
“Couldn't it have been someone else?” Henderson asked. 
“Is that just a stupid question or do you want to make sure we've tested all options?”
“Both. So?” Nick pressed, arms crossed and nothing but harshness on his tone. 
You observed him for a beat, considered your chances there. 
“... The Leica is from the beginning of the last century, like, the 30's to the 50's. At least this model she said she has. In addition to being rare, not everyone nowadays can handle it because the resources are basically mechanical. It would be an absurd coincidence, which is not quite the case.”
“We've dealt with coincidences before.”
“Are you fucking with me right now?”
O’Brien didn’t answer. You rolled your eyes, going back to the notes before giving Isla another look. 
“How long has she been doing this?” The question was kind of thrown up in the air, as no one dared to answer. You glared at them, specifically at Nick, who huffed in annoyance before saying something.
“One year.”
“And the case landed in your lap…” You said. “It seems that you really work with coincidences.”  
Again, no answer. Feeling like you couldn't get from point A to B with anyone there, you jotted down some more information on paper and stretched your back, rolling your shoulders.
“It will be manual stuff then. They’ll have to look at each negative.”
“If it can be done then I don't see a problem.”
“Of course not,” You conceded, voice contained to prevent any progression there. It was like swallowing a fucking lamp. 
Everyone was quiet when they heard Isla speak again, attentive as they watched every detail of the story that should no longer be news to Nick's ears. You were so concentrated that the noises of chairs dragging on the floor didn't even call your attention. Someone said something, the door opened and closed, and suddenly there was a cup of coffee right next to you.
Benny tapped the lid twice.
“Decaf,” He mouthed discreetly, just for you to understand, before retrieving his proximity and leaving the room. 
-------------------------
Benny didn't have a very organized routine, but he could count how many times he thought about you after that shitty lunch: two.
1. That coffee wasn't for you, but he thought of you when he noticed that the Starbucks server had made the wrong order. It was kind of spontaneous. Suddenly you were there, at the front of his mind, like you were hovering around and ready to just emerge. He put it there, left the cup as if saying ‘you can have it if you want, but if you don’t it’s fine’. No one brought the subject up.
2. Nick had gone to the store to meet an informant and someone, probably Connors, saw a familiar figure at the register when they entered. Benny knew it was Murph who commented, but he saw Zapata turn his head to look at the guy.
“Do you know who he is?”
“Who?” Benny frowned, unaware of the commotion. He turned his head, saw the dude standing there staring at his phone - like a normal person. 
“This is Theodore Park, our trouble girl's ex.”  
There was only one person Connors called 'problem girl' and it wasn't usually the kind of comment that came from beyond the grave. However he recognized the guy, whether it was a run-in at office parties that Benny barely attended or some private investigation that bordered on a stalker personality from Murph’s part, it seemed to be true. When Magalon looked back again, Theodore Park was gone.
The second time, then, he discovered who your ex-husband was while listening to what seemed like irrelevant information to the investigation. In the midst of Nick's reticence and failures, Theodore Park was the object of his interest. 
He was tall; compared to the 5'7 that Benny was. Maybe 6'2, compared to O'Brien. There were some university articles about him (three paragraphs at Berkeley, two large PDFs at CSULB that he didn't read, and good references at Caltech) and he seemed successful with an information systems company or something. Benny could never speak properly about these things because he was never interested; as long as he had a phone that worked, he knew how to use the most intuitive social media and that was it. But not Theodore, no. The guy was a successful man indeed in that aspect, indeed. A rich guy on the way. Without much effort, Benny would see this dude doing TED Talks and making Forbes in a few years.
Which had nothing to do with him, or what seemed like your type of guy. If Theodore was on one side of the spectrum, Benny was on the other in every way.
Well, that was distracting. Still, Magalon didn't do much with this information. There wasn't much he could do with it anyway.
It was only later - days later - when they had agreed to go to a 'club' to 'decompress', that he found himself thinking about you for the third time. 
Earlier that day, he saw you talking to Lennon over what seemed like conventional pleasantries between friends. You were wearing jeans, both hands in your back pockets as you paid attention to something that was being said. Your usual lab coat was gone, probably because Benny could clearly see that your shirt was tighter, had a wider bust and the position of your arms gave a subtle view of your breasts. Nothing indiscreet, because you weren't indiscreet. That outfit, however, made Benny have a sudden indiscreet thought, and it stayed in his head all day. 
He hadn't looked for you anymore - he hadn't had the chance to do that. Things escalated and suddenly there he was talking about how similar he was to Nick, pushing you away with the worst of comparisons. You didn't even react, which he understood as full acceptance of the fact that he was an asshole, as if that was the one thing that Benny and a technology nerd like Theodore had in common: being a scoundrel. You treated him as always, even though what had already happened between you should have been enough for that 'always' to change.
The girl standing next to him was called Lindsay. She sat down, started a conversation; they talked very little. Lindsay was wasted, not even bothering to clean the traces of cocaine from her lips or the way her eyes were dark; Benny asked if she wanted to go home and another friend, named Tracy (or Tara), who was visibly lucid, said she would take her. He paid for the taxi, made sure they got into the car safely, and discreetly showed the driver his badge. Like any other night.
He watched the taxi disappear down the street, then, on the other side, the movement of cars on that side of the city. It was late summer and the breeze of the change of season was a sure sign of the arrival of autumn, so he felt the wind hit his face. 
Benny didn't go back up to the hotel room with the guys. He handed the parking pass to the usual guy, got in the car and headed home.
No, not like any other night. That time, Benny felt another wave of what someone once said was a ‘midlife crisis’.
-------------------------
You weren't a fan of bathtubs. Well, you had one, but it was that kind of thing... borrowed into your life, shoved down your throat because it wasn't so bad after all. Just like the coffee table. And the kitchen window. And the kind of lamp that lasted so little but, look, it was chic. So like all things, which seemed to be the biggest provocation that accompanied a 'gift' from a big son of a bitch, or a reminder of how there was a sense of ease in making your life miserable, you enjoyed it.
Something like that. 
You had plans to get rid of each of these things soon, because all in all, the financial part of your life was also… complicated. A visit to the bank, a mortgage proposal, expenses for the large yard and the last remnants of your student fund. You looked through apartment websites for sale and just that idea left you incredibly depressed because, on top of everything else, you were a crybaby who lost the comfort of a husband who paid most of the household bills. And not to mention the job, because… damn, the fucking job. It had been days since you closed your eyes and saw Nick, Isla, Emma, ​​Ballard, Mathias; what kind of fucking burnout was that?
So that night, when your heels were swollen and your back was sore, you allowed yourself a few minutes of privilege. Bath salts, then the heat of refreshing water and, among other things you haven't done in a long time, you felt a little sorry for yourself. 
Connors had posted a photo with the guys on Instagram - you saw it by chance, one hand resting your head on the edge of the bathtub and the other scrolling through your phone. ‘bday party w/ the fella 🔥🔥🔥’, with Benny below his arm in what looked like a half drunk pose, in what also looked like a strip club in the background. You stared at it for a moment. Then another. Then another. There were easy smiles, joyfulness, even happiness; like it was just a standard day, as if the world was okay as soon as the first beer landed on their tables. 
There was never a question with them, a doubt. It was as if, arbitrarily, the main characteristic of a cop wasn’t useful for them to become the ideal professionals that everyone thought they were. There is no need for moral duty, responsibility and care, as proof that the world, in itself, was also not moral, responsible and careful. 
That was it. It was this pain, this itch, that disturbed you, because you knew that no questions were directed at Theodore when things ended. He, above the law, with money in his pocket and a successful career ahead of him, didn’t receive any dirty looks for having cheated on his own wife, who in turn would, in fact, receive condescending comments, pats on the shoulder of comfort and an unfair response from a boss, who attributed your problems to the great evil of having lost an idiot husband. That was what you always hated the most. 
You abandoned the phone at the closed toilet seat. 
“Alexa, turn up the music!” You said after a moment, listening to ‘Life on Mars’ in full volume and with your eyes closed. 
-------------------------
The first sip of coffee was distracted. When the taste hit your tongue, you immediately grimaced and threw the drink back into the cup, staring at the totally undrinkable dark thing.
Great. No good coffee as well. 
You wiped the corners of your mouth with your fingers and left the cup on the table, a little unsure whether you should throw it away or not. Just… Ugh. You threw it in the trash can, massaging your eyes with the heels of your hands before taking a long breath. 
The break room was naturally busy in the morning, with people on double shifts taking a break and those who were arriving, like you, in and out of the tiredness of the end of the day with the beginning of another. Everyone was chatting amongst themselves, exchanging details about cases they were working on or the new bar that had opened nearby, so it was a bit strange that as soon as you rolled your shoulders to ease the tension, everyone turned their attention to a Lennon out of breath who entered the room with an urgent voice.
“Did you know?” That's all he said, then turning on the TV and stopping in the middle of the tables to pay attention. You, who were further in front and close to the coffee machine, had to lift your head a little more to understand what was happening.
“Recognized for the successful work carried out on the Merrimen case, Los Angeles County Major Crimes, coincidentally on the day of the closure of one of the most intense operations carried out in the city and credited in its name, hands over the most recent drug trafficking case to the Drug Enforcement Administration, the DEA…” 
You could hear some gasps from your colleagues, murmurs and shushings, so that they remained quiet and could listen carefully to what was there as if it wasn't obvious. After that, you just stared at the screen in disbelief, your brow furrowed and your hands outstretched at your sides. When they cut to the scene of the press conference in the building's press room, which appeared to have taken place not long before you arrived, you could only see Nick standing next to the sheriff, Walsh's team, and Mathias himself at the lectern making the announcement. 
Mathias's voice was a background sound, almost like an irritating noise in the silence of that room that seemed huge. No commotion, no direct press releases, just a 'peaceful transition' (Walsh's words) to 'a more prepared and complete team' (also Walsh’s words), which indirectly could mean more than cutting spending by the County government but rather a nudge coward of someone who didn't have the balls to chest someone basically… male.
You felt a little bad about that. 
But, heavens, everyone thought that. And when Gina, of all those present, said mid Walsh's phony speech right after he highlighted the inefficiency of the forensic team (a part you only realized when he used the terms 'difficulty communicating with experts' and 'inadequacy expert with the magnitude of the case'), you blinked and saw her standing for herself, arms crossed and ready to fight.
“Yeah, but you're not in front of the fucking San Francisco Chronicle, Walsh. For someone who always speaks your mind, you're putting on a bad act.” She said to the TV. 
Look, the system was a curious thing, clearly presumptuous and obviously selective. It has always been like this, world to be world, human beings to be human beings. And perhaps that was what generated discontent that soon disguised itself as responsibilities and survival, at least on the part of people like you, Gina and Emma, ​​in the sense of gender, and in Henderson or Lennon in the sense of race, for example. It was like a constant obstacle, often exposed like a ghost that could lie dormant until it struck again.
No one there got caught up in it because they didn't have time, but everyone recognized the mechanisms and adapted to them. Neither you nor Gina whined much when the sheriff organized annual running competitions and didn't stay to reward the winning women; from what little you knew of Henderson, you didn't see him complaining, for example, about the fact that Nick always put him in for questioning black suspects, tapping him twice on the shoulder and saying 'you know what to do', but heavy in a condescending tone. Hell, you always saw the same ridiculous type of episode happening with Lennon as well. 
Taken back to reality by the commotion bubbling between your colleagues, you noticed Emma standing in the doorway as if she had sneakily appeared to observe the reactions and the two of you exchanged very tense silent looks. She didn’t look defeated, but averted your gaze as soon as it became just a staring contest. 
You turned to the TV - to the takes of Nick and the guys during the Merrimen case, then at their faces during the press conference. 
Huh. 
-------------------------
The atmosphere was burial-like, to say the least. You had spent the day in the laboratory, like a forced routine return, and it was as if no one had the balls to open their mouth and speak verbally about the subject. There were official emails from the DEA requesting evidence that had already been collected, reminders from Emma about other cases you were working on in parallel, one thing or another from Ballard (who didn't know how to create an email conversation and ended up answering each of your responses with a new email). There was a sepulchral silence from Major Crimes, but not the kind that left them untainted in the precinct's dome of recognition and social hierarchy; it was a shameful silence.
If you could bet on a collective concern, perhaps everyone was tense at the idea of ​​having been publicly exposed as incompetent, and if even the best team of detectives in the county had failed, there was no certainty of the stability of the Department's resources. This would not only make the LASD incompetent (or corrupt), but also incomplete.
You have a new text! Your phone said, right when you were in the middle of a photo digital treatment of a license plate from a robbery case, even if your mind were wandering. In one of the browser tabs, Zillow was open with apartments in the central area of ​​the city and, in another, your aunt's Facebook because your mother said she had done a hair atrocity (she had dyed her hair egg yellow, which could be an atrocity indeed). You looked at the phone screen lazily, already expecting another question from Ballard about anything that was already written on your reports, and when you saw who it really was, you were surprised.
-------------------------
“Is this a bat cave or something?” 
In fact it didn’t even look like a cave, it was just the rooftop of the building. From afar, you could see the maintenance guys working in the electrical system on the top floor (which was where the Department's technology section was located), so if O'Brien and the others were trying to create some kind of reflective scene after a defeat like Zack Snyder, you could only read how pathetic and improvised the attempt was. It almost made you laugh. Almost. 
“Was that supposed to be funny?” Zapata asked with a scowl, to which made you raise your eyebrows at the animosity.  
“I think so, but if you're offended I think I'm on the right track.” 
“You really are a bitch.”
“Tony-” Benny intervened. 
“Yo, there’s no need to-” Connors said.
“Yeah, Zapata, watch your fucking mouth,” Biting back wasn’t exactly the best idea, because you knew the spirits were agitated, but it was obvious that the context didn’t allow for that type of behavior against you. Everyone there knew that that reaction was the remnant of misdirected anger. 
You two shared a silent glare. Tony considered your face for a moment and you did the same; when Magalon pushed him to avert the attention, Zapata waved him off and walked away - you and Benny shared a small glance, one he soon ended to look at Nick, who watched the scene while lighting a cigarette. 
“We done?” He asked. 
“Don’t know, Nick, are we?” You sighed in defeat, sitting on a concrete support and looking anywhere but him. Again, you did what seemed like a copying mechanism: brushed your hands over your face, leaned over your knees and just… accepted. “How?”
“He used Isla.”
And so, being a somewhat literate person in the context of dealing with police officers, you could see the pattern and tone of the conversation that had just begun: it was almost an interrogation. Everyone there, kind of around him, looking for the person who would go to the guillotine. It took a while, between the silence that followed, the way everyone (except Benny) was staring at you and Zapata's reaction so spontaneously explosive, but when you lifted your head and looked at that scene, connecting the dots, you frowned and felt truly offended. 
“Wow.”
“We need to be sure.”
“And who do you think you are to act like that? A fucking Corleone?” That made you scoff, giggling in disbelief. You adjusted your stance, arms crossed and erect back. “Believe me, O’Brien, if I had anything to do with this shitty show, you would know it by my own mouth.” 
“You reacted to Isla.”
“Because I’m a human being, Nick, the fuck.” 
No one said a word. There was this soft breeze flowing around, given the time of the year and the area where you were, one that you noticed that made their hairs flow and you shiver a little. If you paid close attention, you would see frustration and rage and that regular disappointment of a kid when they have lost a toy they like or are denied a candy. The loss, whatever it was, hurt for them but not for professional reasons but for honor. A very uncompensated and arbitrary honor, but an honor nonetheless. And it was always easier to blame someone else. You knew it was easy to make a calculation that would work for you because there would always be the feeling that you were impulsive, stubborn, even cruel - because men hurt you, because you still resent things in your personal life.
“I think it's common sense that almost no one here likes you very much,” You said in a low tone. “And we can agree that ethics and professionalism aren’t exactly the main pillars of what we do.”
Nobody said anything, because you were right. It was actually impressive that you managed to maintain a calm, almost soothing tone right after being basically accused of something so serious. Deep down, you felt that, at least, Nick didn't put much faith in this hypothesis, that this was a demonstration of power in front of others because his hands were tied and this was truly new to him. 
And you didn't ask what the plan was, what they were going to do next. You didn't care about that. No one needed to cry because they lost the case, it was obvious that it wasn't the first time this had happened - it certainly wasn't the last either.
Nick puffed some smoke out of his chest, eyeing you for a moment. Then, with a ‘tsk’, he walked closer and crouched down in front of you, eye to eye, making you realize how much he hadn't been getting a good night's sleep.
“He promised exclusive protection. For her children, for her… Even for the fucking cats she has,” He said, but you knew it was a personal talking, something the others knew but didn’t quite understood. “I can't offer that.”
“It became personal.”
“... Yeah.”
“And do you like her?”
No answer. Nick looked at you for a moment, then averted his gaze to the floor. You saw Benny there, watching, expecting, and you didn’t know why that made you sigh in some kind of compassion. 
“You’re tired,” Not a question, but a statement. One you did calmly, almost whispered just so he could hear. 
You two looked at each other. Nick was clenching his jaw, holding words in his mouth and turning them around enough so they could come back in a dry swallow. When he looked away first, looking at the floor, blinking a few times, it was the first time you really saw genuine frustration, a moment of weakness that maybe, one day, Debbie had seen, or that the co-workers who were around you at the moment also witnessed in a rare way. 
Your brow was furrowed and you were truly confused by this gap. Looking around, above O'Brien's head, you saw Zapata looking at the city around him with an annoyed look, his back to the two of you; Murph kept his hands in his hoodie pockets, Henderson had his arms crossed. Benny watched you, then looked at the ground, shaking his head. 
No, this wasn't about you, nor was it your fault. In that context, you were just a part of the realization of something you hadn't touched until you saw every defeated feature on that terrace. 
“... Are you sure?” You asked, blinking a few times with a shaky voice. 
Nick shook his head. 
“And you expect me to do something about it?”
“No,” He said with a firm tone, getting up on his feet. “No one here is sure.”
“Yeah, I noticed,” It was directed to Tony, who just tsked and averted his gaze. 
When everyone kept quiet, not daring to admit their mistake or even apologize, you were the one getting up, still not sure how to react and uncertain of how to end that conversation. 
“Never do that to me again, don’t-” You collected your voice, clearing your throat. “If you're disappointed with how things ended, don't expect me to help put out your fires.” 
“I didn’t ask you that.”
“So what are you asking? Mm? Because I know you don't want me to pat you on the head and tell you everything is going to be okay,” There was harshness in your tone, almost a fury. And surprisingly, he didn’t answer that equally. “Share the weight of your conscience with those who are really at fault. And, I don't know, investigate, prove, don't do anything. You're Nick O'Brien, Big Nick, the badass. From what I see, everyone here has the right to doubt, so if it's worth the advice, start asking questions in the right place.” 
“Maybe you won't like it if I start doing that.”
“Oh, is it a threat?” With raised eyebrows, you walked a few steps closer, staring at him in the eye. 
“It wouldn't be the first time you tried to harm my team with your shit. You were the first to point the finger at me because of Isla, but you didn't hesitate to make a scene with Walsh and put Benny in the middle of whatever it is you have with the guy.”
“Listen now-”
“Excuse me?” You frowned, not even letting Magalon finish the interruption he was doing while getting closer. “I didn't ask anyone here to defend me! If this fucking case went wrong, try to consider your incompetence or the fact that no one asked you to fuck a suspect.”
When he kept quiet again, you scoffed, shaking your head. 
“It’s so easy, isn’t it? Walk around like you rule every place, do whatever the fuck you want, put the blame on everyone to feel better… I've always seen Walsh that way, but he's not an exception, he's a rule. You come here, accuse me, then insinuate something so…” 
“So what?”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Then I was wrong. You’re dumb and naive enough to not see that. Or a coward.”
You nodded. 
“You always had all the tricks in hand and let a widowed single mother almost get killed by a gang. Who really is the coward here, Nick?” 
Turning your back, you walked away from him, already opening the door to leave the terrace. Before you could, though, you eyed him one more time. 
“Whatever your plan is, when and if they ask me, I'll be sincere. About you and about her. Because I can do that.” 
“You would never say anything against Emma.”
“And I don't blame you for not believing that. It’s clear that it's been a while since you've been able to understand honesty.”
-------------------------
“You called her a bitch.”
Hearing Benny's voice break the silence was strange, so everyone was confused before understanding what he was saying. When they understood, he saw Zapata shift uncomfortably on the couch, looking at the coffee table.
“I didn't think straight at the moment.”
“It seems like no one here has done that.”
“You want to say something?” Nick pressed with a rough tone, as if ready to snap at the detective right away. Benny measured him, shrugged. 
“I told you it was a bad idea.”
“We needed to be sure. This shit is going to get ugly soon.”
“And you pushed away one of the few people who could keep us from getting screwed over too.” 
The intimacy created that kind of unexpected conversation, even though everyone there saw Nick as an older brother or a symbol of leadership. When they exchanged glances after Benny's response, there was a silent consensus that the disagreements were slowly getting bigger, something that had been surrounding the group long before you showed up or the case.
Everyone continued smoking in silence and the tense atmosphere didn’t dissipate. Things weren't going well.
-------------------------
Who were you to point the finger? To define people by a standard of behavior? To say 'you’re good' or 'you’re bad'?
You knew Nick could and did play dirty. You would imagine, given recent events, that Emma had learned to play this game from the position she had. This left you in a spiral of personal conflicts because, in the end, you felt like a hypocrite for wanting so much for things to be as per the booklet. Hell, you knew what you were getting into when you started your career there - you always did. And at the same time, after all that, you felt a hint of disappointment, of suffocation, as if you didn't have a shred of rationality. 
It was an explosion of things, of sensations; you didn’t know how to deal with anything and you couldn’t tell anyone. Maybe you were a little paranoid too. Sometimes you were watching Emma, ​​waiting for something, as if at some point she let out a more strategic and 'selfish' nature.
The marijuana stash (that's what your brother called it) was in the drawer next to the bed. When you were with Theodore, he also used it, although he didn't really like it because he had headaches, so it was a common thing in the house. 
You were on your third or fourth drink, staring at the ceiling and releasing smoke into the air. There was no music, just the low light in the room and the brightness of Kojak's aquarium. Someone had been trying to call for half an hour, but you didn't answer, keeping your eyes distracted on the ceiling - There were some stains from the beginning of an infiltration near the window. You would have to fix this too before considering selling the house. The idea made you grunt and grimace.
Before you could put the cigarette back in your mouth, someone knocked on the door. The doorbell had stopped working a while ago and that was another thing that had to be fixed. 
“Who’s it?” You asked in a high voice, not moving from your spot. 
No one answered. That made you frown, then sit - which gave you a small discomfort. Seconds later, your phone had gone off. 
“... Hello?” 
“It’s me. Lemme in?”
Everything was screaming for you to say no, to hang up and leave him waiting outside until he gave up and disappeared. It would be very convenient for him to be there, ready to convince you of something, to change sides or be more malleable; it made sense. Still, you were a little out of orbit from the weed, slightly sluggish and relaxed, so you calmly got up, abandoned your phone on the couch and walked over, opening it but not waiting too long to see him enter. 
You took slow steps into the room. There was the sound of the door closing, then being locked, and then his footsteps coming behind, but keeping his distance. 
“Weed?” He asked. 
“Are you going to arrest me?”
“I could,” That answer made you snort. “But it’s Cali. And you’re literally my teenage wet dream right now, so I can let it pass.”
Teasing or not, you looked at yourself and noticed your clothes (or lack thereof): panties, a long t-shirt. When you turned to him, standing in the middle of the room, Benny was staring at your legs, but he wasn't smiling.
“You're like a broken record, you know that?” You raised your eyebrows, hands on your hips. “All you say is that I'm in your dreams. This is cheesy as fuck.” 
“You didn't complain about that when you were riding me.”
“Oh, so this is my fault?”
“Well, you’re being quite hypocritical.”
“Fuck off.”
“Stop it.”
“What do you want?”
“You didn't answer my calls.”
“That doesn't answer my question, so I guess we're even.”
He was tense, stressed. You could tell. Benny wouldn't talk to you like that if he wasn't angry about something, maybe even frustrated because you weren't 'clear-headed' to talk at all. 
For a few seconds, he considered you while licking his lips, as if the gears were turning in his head. Yours was also moving, but more gradually, slowly, which left you a little unresponsive when you saw him take off his jacket.
“This must be good, you didn't even hear me.”
“Mm?” You blinked, taking in the sight of his forearms while he lifted his shirt sleeves. That made him crack a giggle. 
“Can I have some?” 
Oh. Oh. The weed. He was already walking closer to the coffee table to grab the joint between two fingers, so you watched in awe as he put the cig on his lips and took a long drag, eyeing the burning tip with curiosity. Benny hummed and nodded while puffing the smoke.
“Shit’s really good. How did you get it?” 
“... My brother,” And before he could take another drag, you pick the joint from his hands. “Smoke, hold and pass. That's the rule, smartass.” 
“Are we in college or somethin’?”
“Shut up and sit down.”
That's what you two did (or at least he did). You took another drag, handed over the cigarette and lay down on the floor again, next to his feet, and faced the ceiling again. 
-------------------------
It was a very silent few minutes, almost making you forget that Benny was there. When the effect of marijuana hit him, he was already lying on the sofa, without his shoes or his top shirt, limiting himself to showing his arms in a white tank top. This gave you a period of lucidity, very brief, and soon there was no more marijuana to smoke, despite the joint not being finished.
All your caution was being thrown out the window, you knew, but it wasn't like it was going to make any difference. 
“Hey,” You called him in a low tone. 
“Mm?”
“Can I ask you something?”
Benny stayed quiet for a moment or two, as if gathering his thoughts, then you listened to him squirming on the couch, getting on his side to look at you. Sensing the attention, you did the same. 
“Shoot it.”
“What happened with Walsh wasn’t on purpose.”
Silence. For a beat, you even thought that he didn’t hear you, given the fact he was already zoning out a little. You started to feel embarrassed - weird. Well, you were high, which could lead to a version of you who would babble about a lot of nonsense and shit, but that was something that came from your lucid mind, probably a thing you wouldn’t say so softly without the weed. 
“It wasn’t a question,” He teased in a calm voice, smiling at you. 
“... I know,” You smiled back, but it turned into a bunch of stupid giggling while you hid part of your face in the carpet. 
It cooled down soon. 
“I didn’t see it this way, you know. Walsh is a stupid motherfucker.”
“Jackass.”
“Dickhead.”
“Yeah… His head looks like a dick. An ugly one.”
“And there’s any pretty dicks somewhere?”
“Just as there’s pretty pussies.” 
“Have you ever seen others?”
You looked at each other, a small smile playing on your lips. When realization started to slowly creep on him, he opened his mouth in shock. 
“It was in college-”
“Always in college,” He rolled his eyes, grinning like an idiot. 
“I had this friend, Kennedy. We were roommates, I was single at the time, you know… It happened. But now we’re just good friends.”
“Mm.”
“I’m serious!” You laughed. 
“So you’re telling me that if this Kennedy comes up here tonight, ask to go down on you or whatever, you would say no?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know.”
“Fuck, I would. I’m not cold blooded, gatita.”
A series of laughs filled the living room again. 
“We’re going out of the question here, yeah? Having a serious conversation.”
“You were the one talking about dicks here!”
“Because you called Walsh a dickhead!”
“Okay,” He sighed, adjusting his body to lean over his arm and have a better look at you. Little by little, Benny started to frown, as if thinking hard on something. You would be lying if you said it wasn’t a beautiful sight. 
“So?” 
“I know you didn’t do it on purpose,” His voice was soft, calm, even if a little concerned. “Plus, you had just signed a divorce and Walsh was there talking about it, humiliating you. That wasn't right.” 
You considered his words calmly, blinking heavily but still paying attention. 
“Nick wasn’t in his right mind when he said that.”
“You think?”
“Mm-hm. And Zapata too. He acted like a fucking animal when he called you a bitch.”
“You’re not just saying that, are you?” The question was serious, probably the first serious question you said since he came to your house out of nowhere. 
“Why would I do that?”
“Because you’re with them. Like… you know. With them.”
Benny nodded, taking in your words carefully. 
“Fair enough.” 
But he didn’t push the topic, nor tried to apologize or something. He let you have your doubts, probably because he himself couldn’t help but agree that maybe, if it was the other way around, there would be uncertainty on his part as well. You sighed, then, returning your eyes to the carpet and poking it every now and then, as if looking for something on it with false concentration.
“Hey.”
“Mm?”
“Come here.”
“What?”
“‘Wanna feel you,” He almost whined, extending one of his arms to grab you. 
“That’s why you came? To feel me?”
“Are you fucking mocking me, woman?”
“I am,” You sat up carefully, smirking at him lazily. “Looked like you just waited for the best opportunity to come back here and fuck me.” 
“But I don’t wanna fuck you, I wanna feel you.”
“What’s the difference?” 
The position you stayed couldn’t be more convenient: him, starting to sit as well, legs spread while you rose on your knees, ready to get up. It gave him some time to stare at you with a lazy grin. 
“Saying I wanna fuck would imply that I just came here for it,” He explained. “Feeling you could lead to sex, but with some warm up.”
“Both times we had sex had some warm up,” You argued, hands gripping his thighs lightly. 
“And it was so good, wasn’t it?” Benny asked when you rose just a little to get closer to his face. 
You observed his face for a moment before pecking his lips lightly. When he just sighed, melting into it, you smiled and gave him another kiss, this time a little longer, wetter - enough to, when you part ways, it made a muah. The fabric of your shirt was worn out, old enough to make it more thin and give you a better feel when you gently brushed your chest on his. It made you sigh against his lips, doing it again when he groaned a little, unable to move a muscle but reacting in slow breaths. 
Both of you, silly high adults, brushing your noses, kissing soundly and ready to fuck each other’s brains out as if the world wasn’t basically on fire. 
“I didn’t come here for this.”
This made you move your face, just a little, and the look on your eyes scrunched up in confusion. It felt like a spontaneous burst of lucidity, almost like a punch, and when he turned his face to the side, rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands, you felt brutally rejected. You moved your hands away from his legs. Suddenly, the carpet was hurting your knees and you stood up, muttering a 'sorry' as you sat on the edge of the sofa, a little away from him. 
“Did you come to defend Nick or something?” 
“This has nothing to do with Nick.”
“So why are you here?”
He considered your face for a moment, still taking in the effects of the weed - even if you both started to feel more buzzed then properly high. 
“You don't want to go to war with him.”
“Oh,” You raised your eyebrows, scoffing a sarcastic giggle. “So you came to be a gentleman and defend me from the evils of disagreeing with Nicholas O'Brien? I thought you made it clear that you didn't have much chivalry in your personality.”  
“I don’t.”
“Mm.”
“But that has nothing to do with chivalry. You’re not being rational.”
“About…?” 
Benny sighed.
“We both know it was Emma.” 
“That shit again…” You groaned, getting up brusquely from your seat and wobbling a little before starting to walk away to the kitchen. 
“What happened was-”
“A mistake. A fucking mistake.” 
When you turned, Benny was up too, standing a few feet closer to the kitchen entrance with his arms hanging loosely on his sides. The lack of answer made you shake your head, grabbing a glass bottle of water from the fridge and drinking a good amount. 
“I'm not naive to think she couldn't have been involved in this, but I'm not naive or stupid to absolve Nick of the shit he should be responsible for,” You noticed his dry lips, the way he just blinked at you with a stern expression. With a tsk, you caught hold of a cup in the sink for him and poured some water in it, not daring to give, but letting it rest closer. 
He came, grabbed the cup. 
You could feel the effects of the marijuana, which were already weaker before, start to leave your system. You were sick, you made a face, but you swallowed your discomfort with more water. 
“I'm not Isla.”
It slipped out of your mouth like a slim and unstable thought, one that made him just nod, sipping on the water calmly while leaning on the sink beside you, eyeing the other side of the room. 
“Didn’t think you were.” 
“No?”
“Nn-nn.”
“But it would be easy to pretend that I am, wouldn't it? I’m alone, recently divorced, dedicated enough to work but very reticent about my boss.” 
You knew you had offended him the moment you said it, but Benny didn't show any anger. He stayed quiet, sipped the rest of the water and stood in front of you, face to face, in such a firm way that you almost backed away if you weren't so irritated.
“If I were as much of a son of a bitch as you think I am, I would have let you finish what you started on that couch,” That made you avert your gaze, but he gently pushed your chin, bringing you to eye his face again. “I'm not Nick.”
“I'm sorry if you made it clear otherwise. I'm not very good at reading between the lines of someone who literally said they’re just like him.” 
“With other people. I never crossed the line with you, did I?” 
“Because I never expected anything from you. I don't expect anything from you, actually, but I get a little offended if you show up at my house and say things like that.”
Before he could answer, you kept going. 
“She's just a bargaining chip, Benny. She always was. And despite our visibly very different lives, I know what it's like to be used and then discarded as if you’re nothing, as if every promise was nothing more than a lie to achieve something very personal, something that never had to do with you,” You said. “I don't want you to come here and expect me to point fingers or accuse people. If it was Emma, ​​if it was Walsh, it doesn't make any difference if the person primarily responsible for this doesn't take the real blame.” 
“You know the world isn’t a fairytale, don't you?”
“I do. And Isla knows it too, better than anyone. This has nothing to do with an imaginary, but with commitment. When was the last time Nick used his badge for anything other than taking it out of his pocket while a whore gave him a blowjob?”
Nothing. Just silence. For a long, perceptive, heavy moment - silence. 
“Emma received a letter of recommendation from the DEA forensic department,” He said in a low tone, catching you completely by surprise. That felt like a test, the way he observed your reaction with care, looking for an answer. When he found it, Benny nodded. “That's why I came here.”
“... What? I don’t understand.”
“I can't remember the last time I had five minutes of conversation with someone who had nothing to do with this shit.” 
You could barely process the information, what that implied, because you had every right to disbelieve and have your doubts. There was a suspicious look on your face, he knew that because you didn't hide it, but he didn't take offense this time.
“Stay away. Things are going to get fucked up.” 
--------------------------------
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kilojulietsierra · 1 year
Text
Working Late (Borracho x Fem!Reader)
Been a minute since I posted some Borracho and I’ve had this one ready and waiting for a minute. It’s very self indulgent but I hope y’all enjoy as much as I did. 
Warnings: 18+, smut, dirty talk, fantasizing, making out, brief drunkenness but happy drunk, hinted at age gap, sex in the workplace, Nick is an ass but Benny is protective and territorial
~~~
The phone on his desk beeped three times in quick succession. Borracho saw it was an internal line and reached for it, "Magalon."
"Uh huh." He listened a moment, "Yeah, send her up."  He hung up the phone and smiled a little to himself in the empty office. He tried to keep working as he waited, but he accomplished nothing in the time it took for the door to the Major Crimes office to open with a small knock.
Borracho turned in his chair, "Hey beautiful." He smiled at you across the bullpen.
"Hey." You gave him a little wave as you walked towards him, "Hope it's okay i'm here."
He slouched back in his desk chair and smirked, "Why wouldn't it be?" His eyes tracked your movements as you approached, raking over you head to toe taking in your tight leggings and hoodie. Something inside him ticked to life seeing you in the LASD hoodie he never wore.
"I don't know, separation of church and state and all that..." You walked around the office, taking a look at the empty desks and the odds and ends around the room.
"Babe," He huffed out a laugh as a breath of air, "The only time I wouldn't want you to stop by, is if the guys are here and I'm not."
You smiled a little coming to stand at the desk directly in front of his, sitting in the chair and spinning around, "I figured it would be safe tonight, them out partying and all and you here by yourself."
"You checking up on me?" Borracho needled at you, still slouched back in his chair, hands clasped in front of him, as he watched you start to nose through Tony's desk.
"I trust you." You opened and closed a few drawers and eventually looked up to find Benny's eyes boring into yours. "What?"
"Wrong desk sweetheart." The corner of his lips twitched up but other than that he does not move.
You spin around in the chair, looking over the other desks, "Oh shit, my bad. Is Nicks that one?" You ask as you jump out of the chair and step towards one of the others.
"Quit playing and get your ass over here." He's almost laughing at you now, but definitely smiling as you toss him a wink and come to sit on the edge of his desk. He still doesn't move, just looks.
Benny is always watching and not always sharing his thoughts, at first it had worried you, but now? Now you could almost read his looks as if he was speaking plain English.  Still in the same position he goes back to your previous conversation, "I sure as hell don't want you showing up dressed like that when the guys are here."  Finally he reached out and laid a lazy hand on the inside of your knee, thumb pressing into the muscle of your thigh.
You chuckled, "Why not?" You slide his laptop out of the way and move to sit squarely in the middle of his desk.
"You know why." Borracho was territorial as fuck and had been since the first time he saw you. Now that you were actually together at least it was justified. His eyes looked up at you ever so slightly, perched above him on his desk. "What are you really doin' here sweetheart?" His eyes hard, digging for information, but his body was relaxed, smile still soft. He was pretty sure  knew the answer, he just wanted to hear you say it.
The blush that crept up your neck to your cheeks betrayed you but you tried to stay nonchalant, "Haven't seen you much this week is all."
There's a pang of guilt in his chest, but it's diluted by the fact that you're here, in the office, sitting on his desk.
"I knew you had said the guys were going to party tonight but you were gonna stay behind." You toyed with the sleeve of his hoodie, fingers pulling at a loose thread
Benny licked his lips, his fingers clenched and unclenched around the armrest of his chair, and you lost your train of thought. He picked up your slack, "Not gonna get much paperwork done with you here looking like that." He was better at this, more experienced and collected. Finally he sat up, moving closer to you, rolling back to his desk and tugging you to the edge so he could wrap his arms around you.
He's nestled between your legs, rough hands smoothing up and down you thighs, eyes mesmerized with the motion. What stops him is your hand at the side of his neck, your thumb hooked under his chin, tilting up so he was looking at you. He doesn't say anything as he wraps his arms around you again and meets you half way.
You sigh as soon as your lips meet his and after a few slow steady passes of his mouth over yours your sighs turn to a hum as his hands slip under the sweatshirt and land on bare skin.
At first he doesn't really move them, tugs you the slightest bit closer as he kisses you but that's really it. Then, suddenly his grip tightens and his fingers dig into the skin at your lower back. "C'mere." He's pulling you off the desk and turning you around before you really know what his plan is but you catch up quickly as he pulls you back to sit in his lap.
Borrachos arms circle your waist again, keeping you snug against him, back pressed against his chest and his mouth hovering just behind your ear. He drops a kiss there before he turns the chair slightly, moving to look over his shoulder and the mostly dark, mostly deserted collection of cubicles outside. Then his lips are back on your neck and his hands are sliding up and down the insides of your thighs. "You're amazing you know that?" His lips are soft on the delicate skin of your neck but his mustache and goatee are not. One hand slides under the sweatshirt, his sweatshirt, and ghosts over your stomach, "Can't believe you're doing this for me." He nipped at the back of your neck before turning your face to him and kissing you again.
You giggle a little, only half of it nerves, and shift slightly in his lap. One of your hands gripping the side of his thigh, trying to keep yourself stable and with the other you reach around to cup the back of his neck as his mouth devoured yours.
~~~
A couple weeks ago you had been making dinner together and Benny had been mixing drinks for the both of you. By the time the pasta was ready you were both sort of living up to his nickname. But it was light and fun, and you didn't get to see that version of drunk Benny a lot. The guys at work? They never get to see that version of drunk Benny. The smiley, happy one with the jokes and the stories that have you laughing until your sides ache. The handsy Ben, that had fondled you in the kitchen while you cooked. Not enough to turn into anything right away, but enough to be distracting.
Borracho was still that kind of drunk even after dinner that night, the two of you laying on the couch ignoring the dishes. You had gone and changed, to get comfy, he was always comfortable in just jeans and a shirt, could sleep in them if he had too, but not you. That's how this had all started. You had came out of his room in a pair of leggings and the black LASD sweatshirt he let you borrow because you were always cold.
His eyes had locked on you immediately and never blinked until you were snuggled up with him on the couch.
You had gone back to watching the movie on the TV but he did not. "Can't believe how fuckin' sexy you look like that." He had said it in his normal tone of voice, not like he meant it to start anything, just one of his many observations.
When you looked up at him he was still staring, arm wrapped loose around your middle, "Do I not look sexy all the other times."
"Not what I said." He hiked you up on top of him, face to face, eyes staring into yours. "I can't believe seeing you dressed in your 'comfy clothes' turns me on so bad." To prove his point his hands groped at your ass and tugged you against him, making his point clear.
You had been the one to initiate the make out session, something Borracho had sworn up and down he was too old for when you first started dating. You had proven him wrong. When it was getting almost to the point of no longer being just heavy making out and turning into something more he had pulled back, biting your earlobe gently before kissing it and pressing his mouth against your ear. "Can I tell you something querida?"
The question had caught you off guard, the tone in his voice slightly different than normal. You pressed a kiss to his jaw, "Of course."
"I think about you sometimes, a lot actually." He started, his voice quiet.
"I mean I would hope so, considering..." A slap to your ass and a string of Spanish mumbling cut you off.
"I think about you all the fucking time, don't worry about that." He moved to bite at your neck, working it between his teeth and sucking until you both knew he had left a mark, "What I was saying was; I have this..." He trailed off. Staying silent so long you thought he had lost his train of thought. Or that he had thought better of going further. Then he took a deep breath through his nose, traced his lips up the side of your neck and continued, "It's like a daydream, when my mind wanders at work... or maybe a fantasy." He took another deep steadying breath and blew it out, soft, slow and warm against you ear. "I think about you coming to see me at work, dressed like this, on your way home from the gym or something. Watching you walk into the office with those long fucking legs and perfect ass," He grabbed your ass again, with both hands this time, "Wearing this stupid hoodie." His hands slid underneath it, dragging his blunt nails down your back.
A shiver rolls through you as you squirm a little on top of him. Realizing what he was telling you, you couldn't help but kiss your way along his jawline, nipping him slightly at the apple of his cheek, encouraging him to keep going.
"I think about you in my lap, I think about you on the edge of my desk with my head between your thighs, I think about you bent over me desk while I peel these off of you." He hooked his thumbs in the waistband of your leggings while pulling you tighter against him.  After that Borracho didn't say anything for a minute, just continued to stroke his hands over every inch of you he could reach. "Is that okay?"
You pushed yourself up a bit, enough to look him in the eye, "Why wouldn't it be?"
His eyes were heavy, half lidded as he met your gaze, his hands smoothing over your naked back under the fabric of the sweatshirt, "Kinda feel like a dirty old man." His halfhearted smirk lets you know he's only part way kidding.
You scooted up to press your forehead against his, "Ben, you are allowed, dare I say encouraged, to fantasize about your girlfriend." When his only response was to hum and nod his head you continued. Moving to wrap your arms around his neck, smiling when he lifted his head up of the arm of the couch to allow it, you held his gaze, "I fantasize about you like that all the time. Even before you asked me out."
"Oh really?"
~~~
It had been long enough ago and he'd had enough to drink the conversation had more or less slipped his mind. Until the front desk called telling him you were here. He tried to not get his hopes up as he had waited for you to get to the Major Crimes floor. But then you had walked in, looking a little shy and a little bit like you were trouble.
Now he had you in his lap, just like he had wanted. He couldn't keep his hands still as he kept your face twisted towards his and kissed you until neither of you could breath. He pulled back, only as far as he had to, "I should go lock the door. Just in case."
You smiled and pulled his bottom lip between your teeth before kissing it gently, "I locked it behind me when I came in. "
His arms around you squeezed you tight and he groaned as he immediately went back to claiming your mouth, "Good girl." He mumbled between kisses as his right hand slid back under the sweatshirt and moved to grope your chest. "Jesus Christ." Ben growled as his hand closed around your breast finding no shirt or bra in his way.
It was hard to talk with his hand massaging you, the rough pad of his thumb circling your nipple, all you could really do was smile and sigh into his lips.
Slowly he switched to the other side, gently stroking and cupping it as he pried his lips away from yours, "You sure this is okay sweetheart?"
You bit you lip, arching into the palm of his hand and being rewarded with a slightly firmer squeeze, the motion causing you to grind your ass down into his now obvious erection. "I'm sure Benny, very sure." You kissed him as soft and sweet as you could while taking his hand and guiding it towards the waistband of your leggings.
Taking the hint he kissed you back as he worked his hand inside the tight clothing, groaning as you opened your legs wider for him. "Fuck baby," He was shocked and exhilarated by the warmth and wetness he found there, "You are so fucking wet." Ben dropped his chin to your shoulder and watched the outline of his hand through the material as he traced your lower lips.
"Told you I was sure." You whispered in his ear as one of your hands reached behind you to grab the back his neck.
Before you could say anything else Benny had two fingers sliding in and out of you and your breath caught in his throat. You didn't have time to settle into that feeling because after just a few strokes he removed his fingers and moved them to your clit, pulling a moan from you loud and clear.
He smiled as you dropped your head back to his shoulder and tried your best to move against the circling motion he was making. Borracho was grinning as he tilted his head to speak directly into your ear, "You gonna come for me already mami? It feels like it. You're so fucking wet, I can already tell you're gonna make a mess." When you could only respond with little gasps and moans he began circling your clit harder. "You are gonna feel so fucking good. It's been a long damn week and now you're here, dripping wet for me, I'm going to make you feel so good baby I promise." He groaned when your hand tugged at his hair, "You want that baby? You want me to bend you over my desk and fuck you till you cream all over my cock."
Just like that you were biting your lip hard and arching up out of his lap and into his hand, circling faster and faster, your whole body writhing for a moment until you took a gasping breath and sagged against him. He smiled into the side of your neck, slowing his fingers as he kissed you there.
When your grip on the back of his neck loosened and you turned to kiss him Benny was still smiling, "I gotta warn you baby, I'm not gonna last long."
You chuckled as you reached for a kiss, but you both knew there was no meanness in it, "Why you say that papi?"
Borracho groaned and drug your ass back against his painfully hard cock, easily noticeable even through his jeans, "You got me so keyed up baby, not gonna be able to help it."
"When my brain clears up a little bit, I'll come up with an old man comment." She laughed, still a little breathless, but it turned into a surprised squeak as Ben stood you both up and walked you back against his desk.
"You're such a brat." He was kissing you so hard you were bending backwards over the desk. "Don't make me get my cuffs out." When he pulled back his eyes were dark and he was smirking.
To your credit you blushed a little, trying to hide your face in his neck, remembering all the things he had done to you when you had revealed that particular fantasy of your own to him. Recovering quickly you pulled him down for another kiss, "Bring 'em home with you." You mumbled the words against his lips as your hands worked at his belt buckle.
"Hold on sweetheart." He leaned back from you standing up straight and pushing back the side of his button down shirt to pull his holster off his belt and shut it in a desk drawer.
Laying back on his desk you propped a heal up on the edge and rolled your eyes, "Couldn't have done that earlier Detective Magalon." You watched him with a smile as he undid his belt and untucked his shirt.
His eyes snapped to yours, still black and heated, but with an easy tilt to his lips, "I was a little distracted." Without going further he moved back to you and slid his hands up your legs until he could hook his fingers in the waistband of your leggings and peel them down, slowly. Inch by inch. "You are very distracting."
Your teeth sunk back into your bottom lip as you picked your hips up and allowed him to strip you of your leggings and pull your shoes off. Before you could respond though he gripped your ankle and tugged you to the edge of his desk, flush against him with your legs on either side of his hips. Even after another surprised little squeak you were speechless, watching his hands smooth up and down your bare legs while he looked at you. Took in the sight before him, committing it to memory.
When his eyes focused back on yours again he caught you smiling, licking your lips, your mouth dry in anticipation. "What're you thinking sweetheart?" He asked the question as his hand moved to splay heavy and wide over your lower abdomen, his thumb slipping to part our lower lips again before settling directly over your clit. Picking up a steady, slow, building pressure.
Eyes falling closed you pursed your lips and fought to keep your thoughts in order, "This was a good idea."
Borracho smirked, increasing the pressure on your clit while the other hand held your thigh tight against his hip.
When you opened your eyes and looked back to him you were blushing, only slightly, but enough to notice, "I never would have been able to do anything like this before..."
Before... you met him. Ben finished your sentence in his mind. The thought sending an electric shock to the base of his spine. You hadn't been innocent, perse, when you had started dating, but shy and a little insecure. Borracho knew he wasn't necessarily a good guy, he did bad things, but he had made it a point to treat you well, better than any other woman he'd attempted a relationship with. Looking down at you, half naked, laying on his work desk with your pussy wet and warm and waiting for him he knew that he was doing something right.
"C'mere." Removing the hand from your thigh he reached up to the back of your neck and lifted you up, bending over you and meeting you half way to steal a kiss he spoke low, his voice a little strained from the effort and the position, "You're amazing, y'know that?"
Wrapping your arms around his neck you moaned into the kiss, hips still trying to keep up with his fingers as they stroked in and out of you, "Mhmm."
You were so caught up in the kiss that you didn't notice the hand between your legs disappearing, did not notice what he was doing until you felt the heavy head of his cock tapping against your clit. You moaned into the kiss, hips jumping at the surprise and the sensation, body bowing up to press against him as much as you could.
That little jump of surprise had Benny clenching the base of his cock tighter, fighting against the urge to lose control. Your fingers were digging into his neck, his hair, his shoulders, whatever you could get hold of and he knew he had been right, he was not going to last long.
"Papi please..."
All he did was smile, line himself up, and drive as far and as deep into you as he could. A shiver overtook him as your pussy clenched around him and your entire body trembled as you lay back over the desk, back arching and your one hand digging into his shoulder hard enough for your nails to leave marks, even through the shirt. He didn't stay still long, immediately moving to withdraw and slide back in, "Is that what you wanted?"
You nodded, eyes closed and bottom lip between your teeth.
Hands moving to hold your hips tight and pull you to meet each thrust he let some of his control slip, glancing over his shoulder one last time while he still had the capacity, his head snapped back to you when you groaned again, frustrated.
He had to close his eyes and collect himself, "What's wrong baby?"
"More, need more." Your hand came down to wrap tight around his wrist and try to use the leverage to move your hips against his, "Please.. so close."
Borracho knew, you didn't mean close to coming, he could feel that much. You meant close to what you wanted, what you needed to get there. Changing his stance slightly and moving one arm so that he could brace himself above you he whispered in your ear, "What do you want querida? Harder? Faster? Want me to play with you?" He chuckled, dropped a sloppy, open mouth kiss to your neck when your pussy fluttered around him.
"Yes, that." You giggled.
Benny was done for, then and there.
Still leaning down over you, reclaiming your mouth, he slid his hand back to thumb over your clit and with your arms still wrapped tight around him Borracho let the last of his control slip away. The desk was shaking beneath to two of you as he drove into you over and over, groaning slightly when you buried your face in his shoulder, your sweet little moans and cries muffled into the fabric of his shirt.
It came over him quickly once he felt your body jerk and go rigid beneath him, your pussy pulsing and clenching around him sent him over the edge. It was all he could do to keep himself quiet with you trembling and gasping for breath. Once his own tremors had subsided he dug his hand into your now messy hair and drug your mouth to his for a bruising kiss that was all tongues and teeth. "I fucking love you, you know that right?" He whispered between kisses, groaning when your nails ghosted over the nape of his neck.
You sighed, all of your strength leaving your body all of a sudden. "I know baby." You tugged him back down for one more kiss, "I love you too." before he begrudgingly stood up and pulled away from you.
Winded, trying to ignore the tremors still pulsing through his body, Borracho stood up straight and tucked himself back into his jeans leaving his shirt untucked. "C'mon sweetheart." He reached down to pick up your leggings and help you stand up, "We'll get you cleaned up at home."
On shaky feet you stood up, one hand bracing on his shoulder for a moment, "In a hurry to get home?"  
He chuckled as he helped you get back into your leggings without falling over. "Maybe." With one hand on your thigh he guided you back to sit on his desk as he knelt down and helped you back into your sneakers. Standing up Borracho leaned in for a kiss, winking at you before he stepped back to finally do up his jeans and belt. "Unless you wanna stay here longer?"
You stayed there, perched on his desk, still catching your breath and trying to hide the way your legs were shaking, "I'm good." You watched him as he moved around, pulling his gun from the drawer and putting it back on his belt, then gathering up his phone and keys, slapping the laptop next to you shut.
When he seemed ready to go he paused, looking you over one more time, sitting on the edge of his desk, legs crossed,  nd hair disheveled. Smirking he stepped closer and placed a gentle hand on the back of your head pulling you into a kiss. Benny chuckled when you uncrossed your legs and shifted to let him step closer.
"What're you thinking handsome?" You settled your hands on his sides and leaned into the kiss.
Voice quiet and sure Benny moved his hand to your hip and easily tugged you off the desk, letting you slide down his body to land on your feet, "You're amazing, I love you," He dipped his head for another fleeting brush of the lips, "And it'll be weeks before I can sit here without getting a hard on."
That made you laugh, but it also made you blush and lean into him to hide your face, "I'm sorry? I think."
Borracho patted you on the ass with another chuckle, "Don't be." He leaned down and snatched his gear bag off the floor by his desk, "Let's go."
You let him guide you out of the office, bag slung over one shoulder and his hand at the small of your back, shivering as his hand slipped under the hoodie to settle on bare skin. By the time the two of you made it to the elevator you had calmed down enough to relax into Ben’s side and talk casually. You were about to reach up and kiss him again when the ding of the elevator doors made you jump.
"Borracho!"
Ben’s face hardened instantly at the booming voice of his boss and his hold on you tightened, pulling you close to his side, "Boss, what're you doin' back here?"
Nick was fidgety, eyes pinned and face red and sweaty, "Bar was a bust tonight, too wired to get any sleep," He sniffed loudly and rubbed at his face, "Thought I'd come see what kinda trouble I could get into here." Apparently for the first time Nicks eyes settled on you. "Looks like you got into some trouble of your own there Borracho."
He snorted once, his hand flexing at your back, "Got tired of waiting on me I guess, came down here to drag me home herself." His voice was both detached and a little deflective, covering for you and himself, playing you off as another annoying girlfriend.
You would have been upset if it wasn't for the soft and steady pressure of his hand at your back, Benny’s thumb passing back and forth, gentle and comforting. Letting you know his words did not reflect his feelings.
Nick laughed and stepped towards Borracho, slapping him on the back. "Y'know if I had a nice, little piece of ass like that at home..." He dragged his eyes up and down your body, "Well, I might actually go home." Nick laughed loudly at his own joke.
Borracho forcing out a chuckle, subtly guided you towards the elevator and away from Nick.
Apparently taking the hint Nick laughed again, "Hey, don't let me interrupt." He stepped past Borracho not so discreetly trying to steel a look at your ass. "Don't let her keep you up too late bro, we got a long day ahead of us tomorrow."
When you were finally, safely, inside the closed elevator you groaned heart still pounding from almost potentially getting caught, "I know I don't know him, but I really don't like your boss."
"Not a lot of people do, don't worry." Ben leaned back against the wall beside you, "I"m sorry."
"What're you gonna say when he tells everyone he saw me down here, leaving with you?"
Benny held your eyes and smirked, "The truth." The doors dinged and opened to the parking garage.
"Which is?"
Grabbing a fist full of the hoodie he tugged you in the opposite direction you had been walking , your body bumping into his in the process. "You got tired of waiting on me to come home so you came down here and dragged me home."
When he noticed you staring out the corner of your eye he came to a stop beside his truck and carefully pressed you back against it,"This, is just between you and me baby. No way in hell am I gonna let Nick or any of the other asshats I work with know that you came down here to surprise me and let me fuck you on my desk." He tossed his bag in the back of the truck one handed, eyes never leaving yours, as his hands settled on your waist, "Definitely not gonna tell them that I walked you right past the boss with my cum still dripping out of you."
You shoved him back away from you, groaning in frustration as much as embarrassment, "Not helping!"
He easily came back to stand in front of you a cheeky grin on his face, "I'm serious though, okay?
"I know, I know. Just still can't believe I did that." You reached to cover your face but Benny stopped you with easy hands and a gentle shake his head. Looking him in the eye again you smirked, "You're a bad influence on me Magalon."
"Don't I know it."
The End
~~~~ 
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Maurice Compte Character Masterlist
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Main Masterlist
This is a collection of my all of my fics written as pairings for Maurice Compte’s characters. All NSFW fics are marked as SMUT!
**all unfinished fics for Compte are on hiatus**
Original Character Fics
Garrote (unfinished series) | OC Jazmine Mann
Diego Jimenez X Jazmine Mann. Jazz has been forced to be a major part of a sting operation to take down a wanted man-- and she has to do it with the help of the mercurial drug dealers Hermanos Jimenez.
Benny “Borracho” Magalon X OC Robyn Banks (enemies to co-parents to lovers), Organized Chronologically
Dirty Water | 2.5k words | Robb is trying to leave her past behind her, but the group of dirty cops want her mafioso dad back in jail and she's his closest "ally"
More Than Words Can Say | 1.1k words | Benny knows Nick will murder him if he found out he was getting attached to the target...
Rooftop Rendezvous | 2.5k words 🔥SMUT🔥 | years (and a baby) later: Benny comes home and needs his girl to work his adrenaline out (without waking the baby)
Reader Insert Fics
Benny Borracho Megalon from Den of Thieves (2017)
The Laundromat | 3.3k words 🔥SMUT🔥 | while doing laundry for cheap at 3 am, you encounter a hot stranger and sex ensues
\\Return to Main Masterlist for more works by yours truly//
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chemicalalice · 2 years
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Hello! I hope you’re having a good day! May I please request Benny Magalon coming home to his wife and kids after a long day of work, tucking the kids into bed and cuddling with his wife.. (your work is amazing btw) 🙂
Title: Homecoming
Summary: Benny at home after a bad day. A small, extremely fluffy, pretty angsty, slice-of-life, with soft!Benny
Pairing: Benny Magalon x female!Reader
Warnings: Pretty tame but mentions of child violence/death in regards to his job. Please be mindful of yourself and do not read if this content bothers you.
Word count: 1237
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When Benny finally pulled his car in his driveway after a day from hell that included two dead kids, he found himself just sitting there. The engine ticking as it slowly cooled off in the night air was the only noise in the car besides his soft uneven breathing. He felt drained and couldn't even find the energy to push open the car door, let alone pull himself up and out and all the way to his front door.
Most days with this job were bad. But they were the kind of bad that years of seeing the worst of the worst had made him slightly immune too. Bad was relative now. It had to be. Otherwise there was no way someone could stay sane or survive in his line of work. He had seen it before. Burnout. Careers that crashed and and went up in flames, ruining families and lives with it. He didn't want that for himself. He didn't want to end up like Nick.
He looked up at his house. A light clicked on in the front window, joining the other lights already glowing in the second story and the kitchen. A small shadow raced by the window and the curtains moved slightly, followed shortly later by an even smaller shadow.
Benny smiled and though it was exhausted, it was genuine. This is what kept him strong, sane. This is what he worked so hard to come home to each night. What made life worth living.
He could picture what was going on inside perfectly. You would be standing over the stove, working on dinner while yelling for your son to slow down so his sister doesn't fall and hurt herself trying to keep up. You wouldn't really expect a reply besides more shrieks and giggles as the kids continued whatever game they were playing.
Benny's chest suddenly burned and he sucked in a breath, everything narrowing down to those glows of light and his intense desire to be in there with you, with his family. He shoved open the car door and practically ran to the front door, not caring if any of his neighbors saw and thought he was crazy. He wanted to be in that light with you, not alone in the dark outside, haunted by the experiences of the day.
The kids practically attacked him as he threw open the door, their shouts of "Daddy" filling him with warmth as they threw their little bodies at his legs. You emerged from the kitchen shortly after, and it was as in the breathe he had felt like he was holding since the car was punched from his body at the sight of you and how, in that moment, he didn't think he had ever seen anything more beautiful. You would have laughed if he had said it out loud. Your shirt had a splash of red sauce across it and you were wearing the sweat pants that had paint stains on them, your hair was messy and your makeup was slightly smeared from a long day, but you had the smile that was just for him. He wanted to kiss you then, properly, but with this kids hanging off him he settled for your quiet "I'm glad you're home" and a soft press of your lips to his cheek before you disappeared back into the kitchen.
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Benny always insisted on being the one to get the kids ready for bed when he was home. His job caused him to keep odd hours so he wasn't always home for his family's nighttime ritual. He didn't want to wake up one day and realize his kids were all grown up and he missed out on being a part of it.
He idly listened to you wash the dishes from dinner, the faint strains of the music you were listening to drifting up, as the kids splashed in the bath and flooded the floor. He would have to clean it up before you got upstairs and yelled at him. He didn't care though. Seeing his kids happy was all that mattered to him.
He let them play until he heard the music shut off and then he was hustling them out of the bath and into their pajamas. His son was currently obsessed with Where the Wild Things Are so the three of them crowded into his son's bed and he dutifully pulled out the book. His daughter was sleep by the second read through, and his son was having trouble keeping his eyes open by the third.
He moved slowly as he lifted his daughter up and brought her to her own bed, making sure she was tucked in before return to his son placing a kiss on his head before shutting off the light.
You were waiting for him out in the hallway, already changed into your pajamas with hair damp from the shower you had taken. And as the events of the days bubbled up inside of him, the images of the two kids whose lives were ended so cruelly, so early, today he found he couldn't tear himself away from the spot in his kids' doorway, eyes fixated on every slow breath they took.
"Baby?" Your touch on his arm was soft, your voice even softer, worried. His eyes were wet as he turned to look at you. You pulled him to you without another word, your arms wrapping around his neck to pull his face down to nestle in the crook of yours. He never told you the details of his worst cases, and you understood. Saying it aloud was a form of reliving it. You were always there for him if he needed to talk, but some days, like now, he just needed comfort. Nearness. A reminder that he was safe. His family was safe. He was home.
You led him by the hand to the bedroom. He began stripping out of his clothes, not even having the energy for his own shower, and you we sitting on the bed, propped up against the pile of pillows you insisted the bed needed by the time he finished. He crawled up next to you and wrapped his arms around your middle, his head resting on your chest. Your arms wrapped around him as well, and it moments like these they felt like is own personal shield against the world as he shook silently.
The guys from work would rib on him if they saw him like this, had given him shit in the past when he passed on the drugs and the women at their little unsanctioned "office" parties, said what a "good boy" he was. But it didn't bother him. He had everything he wanted right here. And he knew, deep down, that they envied his life; his family; his stability; you. You were beautiful, you were the mother of his children, and you were his. You were there for him in the good times, and you stood by him in his low times, because lord know he wasn't perfect.
You were humming something, he realized. He was too sleepy to really pick up on the tune. Your fingers were running gently through his hair, slowly lulling him to sleep. Thank you, he thought. I love you. I wouldn't survive without you. He wasn't sure if he managed to say it out loud before he finally slipped away.
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Tag List:
@buckybarneshairpullingkink
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brandyllyn · 3 years
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Brandyllyn’s Masterlist
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Firstly and most importantly, I wrote a book. Love nor Money is a “why choose” romance about Maya Alvani, a down on her luck woman who agrees to pretend to be the mistress of three of the cities most powerful criminals. For more information about the book itself go here. 
Buy it here. Buy the holiday epilogue here.
Both are available for free with Kindle Unlimited at the same links.
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📚<- This work is complete.
Requests are currently closed but thots are always welcome.
I am also brandyllyn on AO3
If you want fanfic updates follow @brandyllyn-writes. For more general updates Join my mailing list!
Most things I write are explicit and I’ve also tried to tag / warn everything appropriately. Let me know if I missed something.
Soulmate Headcanons
Pedro Pascal Characters as Cats with @blueeyesatnight
Because I was inverted... Pretty much every character I write for has a blurb or two in here. This was for a follower celebration.
Kinktober 2021 - here there be smut
Fandoms in alphabetical order.
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NSFW Alphabet: Max Phillips 📚
The below fics can be read as standalones or as parts of the Max x Sugartits series.
Fringe Benefits : Max Phillips x f!reader (Explicit) (5k words) 📚 Max has a proposition for you.
Consensual Violence : Max Phillips x f!reader (Mature / Explicit) (3.2k words) 📚 Max’s enthusiasm in the bedroom accidentally sends you to the emergency room. It’s honestly more embarrassing than painful.
Did you mean it? : Max Phillips x f!reader (Explicit) (6.4k words) 📚 Max accompanies you to a family function. It goes about as well as expected.
By the numbers : Max Phillips x f!reader Once Bitten :: Twice Shy :: Safety Third :: Forever (Explicit)(12.7 words) 📚 Max and you hit some turbulence in your relationship.
Bonus: Half a Mind to (2k words) 📚 Max’s POV between Once Bitten and Twice Shy. I suggest reading all of By the Numbers before this one.
After : Max Phillips x f!reader (Mature) (2.4k words) 📚 Things aren’t quite back to normal for you and Max.
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Various Requests:
All of these are standalone (as above) but are theoretically in universe and would take place somewhere between Consensual Violence and Did you mean it?
Max reacts to you cutting yourself accidentally. (640 words, smut adjacent) More about Max enjoying a bendy reader. (600 words, smut) Max being an annoying pest where you work. (790 words, smut) Max does not fly economy. (690 words) Getting a taste (2.2k words. hella smut) Turnabout is fair play (770 words, smut?) Max watches porn (300 words, smut adjacent I guess?) Teasing Max (1.2k words, smut) Repellent (1.7 words)
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Adventurous : Benny ‘Borracho’ Magalon x f!reader (Explicit)(5.7k words)📚 Your friend drags you to an unconventional party.
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Doppelgänger : Nathan Bateman x f!Reader (Explicit) (13.6k words) 📚 You’re invited to Nathan’s house after ‘the incident’ to test his new AI. A masc one this time. Of course Nathan made it in the form of the most perfect man he knows, himself.
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Silk from their Soul : The Ghoul / Cooper Howard x f!Reader (Explicit)(Ongoing) It was supposed to be an easy bounty. Of course, nothing is ever easy in the wastelands. Thou shalt always get sidetracked.
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Monstruo : Pero Tovar (no pairing) (Teen)(3.7k words) 📚 After the events on the wall, Pero and William make an unexpected discovery.
Innocence need not tremble : Pero Tovar x f!reader (Explicit)(3.3k) 📚 Pero is finds himself on the receiving end of an indecent proposition.
Sinners : Pero Tovar x f!reader (Explicit)(8.4k) 📚 A promise made to protect William’s wife complicates Pero’s pursuit of you.
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Bought and Paid For: Frederick Chilton x OFC (Explicit)(13k words)[AO3] 📚 Disgusted by the idea of going to his first public event after the shooting alone - Frederick Chilton decides to hire the services of an escort for the evening.
Dove Grey Bows: Frederick Chilton x OFC (Everyone)(1k words)[AO3] 📚 Sequel to ‘Bought and Paid For’: Everything was going wrong, Chilton was definitely going to fire the person responsible - but did he have time to fix it?
Time’s Fool: Frederick Chilton x OFC of color (Explicit)(11k words)[AO3] 📚 A woman from Chilton’s past has the power to throw his entire life into disarray - but will their unfinished business ruin him or save him?
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Honorable Intentions : Aloy x Erend (Explicit)(5k) 📚 Erend offers to help Aloy before the Proving.
A Chance : Aloy x Erend  (Explicit)(5k) 📚 At the base, Erend and Aloy have a long overdue conversation.
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Dreams are sweet until they’re not : Jack 'Whiskey' Daniels x f!reader (Explicit)(8.6k) 📚 A crimson rose only ever meant one thing, death. [Soulmate AU]
Harder to Hold : Jack 'Whiskey' Daniels x f!reader (Explicit)(32.5k words) 📚 You’re confused but pleased when a handsome cowboy puts moves on you at a bar one night.
Next Time : Jack 'Whiskey' Daniels x f!reader (Teen)(2.5k words) 📚 Jack takes you out on a date. It does not go well.
This Time : Jack 'Whiskey' Daniels x f!reader (Teen) 📚 Second date with Jack.
Trust in Me : Jack Daniels vs. f!reader (Teen)(drabbles exist on their own) Jack has been assigned a bodyguard. He’s not happy about it.
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A Good Man Feelin’ Bad : Rafael Barba x OFC (Explicit)(44k words)[AO3] 📚* He really should go out more often if girls - *women* he heard Olivia correct him in his head - were this forward now.
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Baubles of Stolen Kisses : Richard Alonso Muñoz x f!reader (explicit)(17.6K words) 📚 A slow dive into the start and growth of your relationship with Richard. Deals with themes of insecurity and self-worth.
Nene : Richard Alonso Muñoz x f!reader (Teen)(2.5K words) 📚 What to expect when you and Richard are expecting.
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Crimes of Passion : Obispo ‘Bishop’ Losa x f!reader (explicit)(hiatus) You’re a good girl. And Bishop is a very bad man.
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To sell your love for peace : Javier Peña x f!reader (Explicit)(27k words) 📚 You are Javier’s newest informant. And all that that entails.
To perish twice : Javier Peña x f!reader Pt 1  ::  Pt 2  ::  Pt3 (Explicit)(7.7k) 📚 You can feel when your soulmate comes.
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Cross My Heart : Ezra x f!reader (T)(5.7k) 📚 "I do not know who I am when I am half a man.”
Lucky Stars : Ezra x GN!reader (Teen)(3.3k)📚 “Are you a good man?” “I like to believe I am a man of good intentions.”
Into the Shade : Ezra x f!reader (E)(8k) 📚 Who would fake a soulmate? [Soulmate AU]
Hold fast to dreams : Ezra x f!reader (Teen)(4.3k) 📚 Returned from the Green Ezra has debts to pay.
Blind Trust : Ezra x f!reader (Explicit)(4k words) 📚 Could he help her find her pleasure - one armed and unable to speak? Ezra was willing to bet his reputation he could.
Make dreams truths : Ezra x f!reader (Explicit)(4.3k words) 📚 Ezra had been a killer. Was known to be a rogue. Occasionally even a degenerate...
When they disentwine : Ezra x f!reader (Explicit)(4.3k words) 📚 Ezra returns to his tent to find you going though his things.
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NSFW Alphabet: Poe Dameron (NC-17) 📚 SFW Alphabet: Poe Dameron (PG) 📚
Goofballs in Love Masterlist: A series of spicy, funny one-shots about your relationship with Poe Dameron (virtually all E)
In Our Own Image… : Poe Dameron x OFC (Mostly T, has tagged M/E chapters) (64k words) 📚 Poe had a type. He’d admit it. And that type was “could kick his ass and steal his ship.” It had gotten him into trouble too many times to count in the past, and yet here he was.
Alabanza: Poe Dameron x f!Reader (Mostly T, has M/E chapters) (60k words)[AO3] 📚 A mis-delivered message causes You and Poe Dameron to become anonymous penpals. But falling for each other via letter while at the same time falling for each other in the real world leads to more than its fair share of complications.
The Art of Falling: Poe Dameron x f!Reader (Mostly T, has M/E chapters) (40k words) 📚 The arrival of Black Squadron on Ansion means a lot of new changes for you, the base's Chief Mechanic.
For the first time seen : Poe Dameron x ? (General audiences.)(2.1k words) 📚 Poe is looking for his soulmate.
Give me a ring : Poe Dameron x gn!reader (Teen)(900 words)📚 Poe tries to flirt. Key word: tries.
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Justifiable : Bud Cooper x f!Reader (Mature) (3k words) 📚 Your husband’s death leaves you the beneficiary of his policy
Death come knocking : Bud Cooper x f!Reader (Explicit)(2.4k words) 📚 Mr. Cooper is investigating your neighbor’s disappearance.
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NSFW Alphabet: Santiago Garcia 📚
War makes thieves, and peace hangs them : Mostly Santiago Garcia x f!Reader (OFC in that she is described as being moderately thin)   (Hella Explicit) (28K words or so) 📚 When Santi needs people for a mission he knows just who to call. But it quickly becomes apparent they’re short one key role - a thief. Preferably one with nice breasts who makes friends easily.
Note: Pt13: Frankie’s Epilogue can be read as a standalone
Never meet your heroes : Santiago Garcia x gn!reader (Teen)(900 words) 📚 You introduce Santiago to your dad.
Mi Hermano : Santiago Garcia x gn!reader (Teen)(1.3k words) 📚 Followup to Never meet your heroes, yours and Santi’s rehearsal dinner.
How High : Santiago Garcia x gn!reader (Teen)(1.3k words) 📚 Followup to Mi Hermano, Frankie invites a guest to drinks with the boys.
Validation : Santiago Garcia x f!reader (Explicit) (5.6k words) 📚 Santi comes home early to find his new roommate a little undressed.
Corroboration : Santiago Garcia x f!reader (Explicit) (5.6k words) 📚 Celebrating a new job and trying to keep your relationship a secret from Frankie. Maybe you two should have just stayed in - you always had more fun there. [sequel to Validation, can be read as a standalone]
Patriotic : Santiago Garcia x f!reader (Teen) (360 words) (just a little domestic drabble) 📚
Love and Cookies : no pairings (Everyone) (1.2k words) 📚 The boys help Frankie’s daughter sell cookies.
Family Friendly : Frankie Morales x f!reader [wife] (Explicit)(1.2k words) 📚 Teasing Frankie at the family BBQ.
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A Triple Frontier / Jurassic Park AU. Co-written with @blueeyesatnight (Mature) (8.5k)  📚 The boys take a job on an island off the coast of Costa Rica. They are not prepared for what they find. 
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A Triple Frontier / Pacific Rim AU. Co-written with @blueeyesatnight Part One - Part Two (Mature) (3.4k) 📚 It’s drift match day for the Triple Frontier boys
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A Triple Frontier / Aliens AU. Co-written with @blueeyesatnight (Mature)(11k)📚 The boys take a job at a colony in the far reaches. They are (yet again) not prepared for what they find.
Teaser
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Half Empty: Nevada Ramirez x f!Reader (Explicit)(13k words)[AO3] 📚 It was supposed to be a fresh start, a new business and a new life in Washington Heights. But when Nevada Ramirez strolls through the door of your bar, demanding ten thousand dollars for his ‘protection’, you find yourself negotiating with your body. You can only hope you find the money before he loses interest.
Debt Makes Promises: Nevada Ramirez x OFC (Explicit)(47k words)[AO3]📚 When she asks Nevada Ramirez for a favor she’s expected to give one in return.
Further on the Edge: Nevada Ramirez x OFC (Explicit)(21k words)[AO3] 📚 Drawn together by circumstance - Nevada meets a woman who gives him a run for his money. But she’s not quite what she presents herself to him…
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Oh Santa : Michael Perry x f!reader (Teen)(1k words)📚 You and Michael have the same idea one Christmas.
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I refuse to give him a whole header but I also wrote a Dave York thing...
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heresathreebee · 3 years
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🐝 Master List 🐝
secret task find the third bee...
🎵 First thing’s first, I’m bi-racial 🎶 aright I'll stop but this is the reason I write with black/ black mixed readers and characters in mind. Obviously feel free to read if you aren't, it's mostly for me anyways. "Create the content you want to see in the world," and all 🎷 haha not a bee but you like Jazz? 
MASTERLIST 2.0: THE SEXIER AND COMPLETE ARCHIVE
I've done Kinktober 2021 if you'd like to check it out here! 🎃
Kinktober 2022 Masterlist
Eddie Munson (Stranger Things)-- Feels Like Heaven
GFS Drabble Masterlist March 2022 (Joel Kinnaman character fics by muktiple creators)
Diego Jimenez X OC (Starz Power) -- Garrote [13 Chapters] Masterlist
Benny "Borracho" Magalon X Reader (Den of Thieves) -- The Laundromat 🔥
Benny "Borracho" Magalon X OC (Den of Thieves) -- Dirty Water, More Than Words Can Say, Rooftop Rendezvous 🔥
Marcus Moreno X Reader -- A Halo of Holly Part 1 & Part 2
Stephen Holder X Reader -- Royal Flush 🔥, Can't Stay Mad At You 🔥, Just Ask 🔥, Every Little Step one, two, three, four, five, six, seven
Colonel Rick Flag X Reader -- French Lace and Silk Stockings 🔥, Safe Habor 🔥 Asked: Think You Can Handle That Much? 🔥
Colonel Rick Flag X OC -- Ruby Moon Sunflower Seeds Teaser Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Face Cast, Part 7, Part 8 🔥, Part 9, part 10, Think You Can Handle That?
Ava Starr X Reader (Marvel's Antman and the Wasp) -- Strawberry Soda, No Touching, A Real Date, Old Stomping Ground, next up Strange and Unusual
Koska Reeves X Reader (The Mandalorian) -- Sunset Sapphires, sequel eventually
Yelena Belova X Reader (Marvel Black Widow) -- The One Where She Got A Dog, next up The One Where You Tell Her The Truth
Rob Brooks X Reader (High Fidelity show) -- That G-D Ring of Yours, Part 2
SMILF Jesse X Reader (just Alex Brightman) -- The Morning Of and After 🔥, Bit Of A Bear 🔥
Dewey Finn X Reader (School of Rock) -- Mx. Honey & the Panic on Neptune 🔥, Wearing THAT Part 1 & Part 2 🔥 🐝
And Ralph Lamont X Reader (Blue Bloods) -- Bloody Mess 🔥 Brackish and Briny Waters Part 1 Part 2 🔥 Part 3 🔥 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6
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the-hinky-panda · 2 years
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Day 27: Concoction
10/27: Concoction
Universe // Characters: Den of Thieves - Penny Universe // Benny “Borracho” Magalon 
You had no idea what you had just signed up for when you agreed to go to Mexico. You did know more about Benny than you let on, asking Nick about his coworkers more and more often. You were able to pick up minor details from your brother before suspicion halted your questions. The most important thing you learned is that Nick trusted him more than anyone else on the team. Of course you didn’t have the details as to why that trust had been given, but the mere fact that it was there spoke volumes. 
That was the foundation for your decision to go to Mexico with him. Everything else, the waiting for news of when the rescheduled flight would leave, the flight there, and the ride to his Uncle’s home a couple blocks from the beach, just confirmed that this has the potential to be a good experience. Being around Benny is the opposite of being around Nick. Benny is quiet, not having to constantly fill the time with words or tasteless jokes. Conversation runs smoothly, effortlessly. You’re not waiting for a blow up or walking on eggshells around certain topics. 
It’s relaxing being in his company. 
You’re trying to figure out how to keep up this friendship when you get back to California without Nick finding out and making Benny’s life miserable when he touches your arm to get your attention. 
“Watch out for Luisa, she’s the middle sister,” he warns quietly as you walk up to the front door of the house. “She’s known for mixing drinks and hiding large quantities of coconut rum in them. We call those concoctions ‘truth tellers.’  They'll knock you on your ass and then all three sisters will start asking you questions.” 
Considering some of the things Nick had pulled with you over the years, this sounds fairly innocuous. “Don’t hammer the fruity drinks. Got it.” 
“And if you want to tap out at any time, just let me know.” 
You don’t know why, but his concern touches you more than it should. You manage to give him a smile before the front door opens and chaos ensues. There must be close to thirty people in the house. Kids are playing with their newly acquired toys from the Christmas morning present opening. The smell of food hits and reminds you of just how long it’s been since you’ve eaten some real, home cooked food. The house has large, vaulted ceilings, a huge family room decorated riotously for Christmas, and every available surface in the kitchen has offers of food. 
You meet a few important players, like his mother and uncle, before food and drinks are shoved into your hands. His mother is a stately woman, nicely dressed, hair and make-up well done, and a refined elegance to her. His uncle is more boisterous, barrel chested and full of warmth and welcome. You’re surprised that they greet you with genuine interest but then realize you are being presented as his first girlfriend after a divorce. But they’re polite enough to not bombard you with questions right at the start. 
You end up finding a quiet corner in the living room at a small breakfast bar and try to just stay out of the way while eating some of the best food you’ve ever tasted. But it doesn’t take long for a brightly colored cocktail to be set down in front of you by a pretty young woman. You notice her eyes are the same shade as Benny’s, as is the twist in her smile. 
“I’m Luisa.” 
You give her your real name in return. It’ll be nice to go through a holiday without hearing “Penny” shouted every five minutes. God, you hated that nickname. “I appreciate you all welcoming me to your family gathering.” 
“Well, when Benny said that his new girlfriend had her plans canceled for Christmas,” she shrugs, “what else could we do?” 
You pick up on the undercurrent of suspicion in her tone. “You could have said no.” 
She gives you a slightly surprised look at your forwardness before a true smile creeps across her face. She pushes the drink towards you. “I like you.” 
“Thank you.” You take a sip and sure enough, there’s the coconut rum underneath fresh, sweet fruit juices. It tastes like mango and pineapple. Luisa engages in small talk until about half the drink is gone. Unfortunately for her, you’re Irish, which means you cut your teeth on whiskey in your baby bottle. Literally. But she doesn’t need to know that. 
“How long have you and Benny been going out?” 
“Not that long.” 
“How did you meet?” 
“My brother works with him at the Sheriff's office.” 
“Are you divorced?” 
“No, I’ve never been married.” 
“Kids?” 
“No.” 
“You know he’s divorced, right?” 
You nod. “Six months now, right?” 
“Seven, actually.” She pauses. “Did you know her?” 
“Never met her, no.” You think about asking Luisa about Benny’s ex but don’t want to come across as jealous or insecure. You are the new girlfriend after all. “So tell me about yourself. What do you do?” 
“Marketing. I manage the accounts of the clients on the business side. Did you not meet his ex because you were cheating with him?” 
Right for the jugular and you weren’t even finished with the drink yet. “You accusing your brother of stepping out? Because that seems like something I should know before we go further. Is he a cheater?” 
Luisa gives you a completely shocked look before breaking into a wide smile, and raising her wine glass to the other two sisters across the room. “I like her, she’s good!”  She turns back to you. “And just so you know, she stepped out on him.” 
Benny comes over to where you're sitting and leans on the back of the bar stool. “What are you doing to her? She hasn’t even been here an hour, Lu.” 
“Just telling her about the puta-” 
“Hey, hey,” he interrupts her, “what’d I say about calling her that?” 
Luisa shrugs. “Well, she was.” 
“No more talking about my ex.” 
“Alright,” Lusia says, “what did Benny get you for Christmas?” 
You can feel him tense behind you, hear the hold he has on the back of the barstool tighten. But you just reach for the chain around your neck and show her the simple circle sapphire pendant. 
Lusia nods. “Impressive, Ben.”
You flash him a smile over your shoulder. “I thought so.” 
He leans down and kisses your cheek but uses it as a cover to whisper a quick “thanks” before he’s pulled away by a group of his nephews who want to show him their new drone. The conversation between you and Luisa warms to more friendly topics so when Benny’s two other sisters join, it’s a pleasant interaction. His uncle asks you about your food preferences, pulls out a couple dishes from the oven and piles your plate up with seconds. It takes you most of the afternoon to work through that round, which was just as good as the first. When the sun starts to drop towards the horizon, everyone grabs a chair or blanket and walks the two blocks to the beach. You wonder where Benny and the kids managed to go but you see they’ve actually staked off a large section of the beach and started a bonfire. 
A large cooler with beers and cans of wine is dropped in the sand and you grab two beers before unfolding the blanket you had grabbed. As soon as you land in the soft sand, Benny joins you, picking up the second beer thankfully. 
“I’m getting too old to keep up with them.” 
“You’ve also been up for almost 48 hours,” you remind him. 
“So have you.” He leans back on his elbows. “You ready to tap out yet?” 
You look around the bonfire, everyone spread out in their groups, together but still semi-private. The warmth of the fire pairs well with the chilly sea breeze and beer. You can hear the crash of the waves in the distance, the pop and crackle of the fire, and the low murmur of happy voices. It’s quite honestly the nicest Christmas evening you’ve had in years. “No, I’m good.” 
“Okay.” 
You finish the beer and then lay down on the soft sand. The sky is clear, stars scattered across the night sky. Just when you didn’t think the evening could get even more enjoyable, Benny follows your lead and lays down next to you, your shoulders touching and entwining his fingers with yours. You know it’s for show but a part of you enjoys the feeling of having someone close, touching you. It’s been a couple years since your last relationship and you’ve missed this physicality. 
But Benny complicates the matter for you. He’s a nice guy. A really nice guy based on what you’ve gathered from the last two days spent with him. His family seems to back up your observations. His sisters didn’t say one negative thing about him. If anything, they made it sound like he was the ultimate protector of the family. His uncle smiled whenever he said Benny’s name, smiled large enough that the corner of his eyes crinkled and a dimple appeared in his cheek. His nephews adored him given they were still climbing on him after three hours of playing on the beach. 
There’s a part of you that wishes this isn’t a scam and you’re not quite sure what to do with that realization.
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Kinktober Day 20
Day Nineteen | 🌹Kinktober Masterlist🌹 | Day Twenty-One
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Pairing: Benny Borracho Magalon x Reader
Rating: Explicit - 18+ Only. Any minors interacting with ANY of these Kinktober prompts will be blocked
Notes: This is the toy that's described/used. I love mine. Use code Slut4fic to get 20% off—I'm kidding, that code won't work BUT it is a good toy. You know. If you're in the market. Anyway—
Warnings: Sex toys; fingering; blowjobs
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A pair of socks. That was all you’d asked Borracho to do—grab you a pair of socks. 
“Top right drawer, please and thank yoooou.” 
You were already incredibly late to get drinks with his team. Borracho had turned up to your apartment almost an hour later than he was supposed to. On top of that, you’d gotten side tracked while getting your things together to go out. You hadn’t been able to find your bag, the outfit that you’d planned on wearing had shrunk in the dryer, and Borracho had gotten more than a little handsy when you were getting dressed. 
Socks. You had asked for socks. But when Borracho didn’t reappear for five minutes, you headed back to your bedroom. 
“How long does it take to find…Socks…” You slowed and stopped in your doorway when you spotted Borracho standing at your dresser with the drawer open, holding one of your sex toys.
You folded your arms across your chest, leaning against the frame as he clicked through the settings, then fished into the drawer for another one. 
“Borracho.”
“Hm?”
“Those are not socks.”
“You don’t say.”
He tossed you a smile over his shoulder before turning back to the array of toys. You groaned, pushing away from the door frame and walking deeper into your bedroom. 
“Babe, you know I hate being late.”
He ignored your plea in favor of holding up one of your favorite toys. “What’s this do?” 
“It’s for my clit. Can you just pass me some socks so we can go?” 
“How does it work?” He looked at the device, turning it over in his hands and thumbing the small silicone opening. You huffed softly, stepping close and taking it from his hands before pressing one of the buttons. The device hummed to life, and you hovered it over Borracho’s fingertip, allowing him to feel the suction. His eyes widened slightly before he took it back from you, pressing through the settings and feeling the suction increase, then strobe. 
“Why didn’t you tell me that you had these?” He asked, finally shutting it off. 
“I didn’t think it was the kind of thing you’d be interested in.” 
“Why not?” 
“I mean…” You shrugged. “I didn’t think you’d wanna know about them. Most of the other people that I’ve been out with found the fact that I had them kinda…Insulting.” 
“Why would they upset them” Borracho scoffed. “I know I can get you there, baby. Doesn’t mean we can’t have a little extra,” He turned the toy on again, smiling at its gentle hum, “Fun along the way.” 
You smiled, shaking your head a little. “You truly baffle me sometimes, Magalon.” 
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.” He leaned in, pressing a warm kiss to your lips. You raised your hand, tenderly skating your fingers over his jaw. You drew back, giving his cheek a tap. 
“Put it away and let’s go.” You reached into the drawer, grabbing a pair of socks before heading out of your room again. 
-- 
You knew that you were in for a hell of a night when Borracho started getting handsy at the bar. He’d tucked his hand into your back pocket as you stood with the guys, but delighted in trying to make you squirm as he gave your cheek a little squeeze. You shot him warning looks every once in a while, but he mostly ignored them, making conversation with Connors or Henderson. Now and again he’d shift closer, pressing his lips against your temple. The two of you had never been over the top with PDA, especially in front of his team, but the frequency of the pecks was far more than you’d become accustomed to in the last few months. 
“You having fun?” He murmured in your ear as the conversation around you lulled. You nodded, turning your head to get a better look at him. 
“Are you?” You batted back. He smiled, giving your ass another cheeky squeeze. 
“Have even more fun later.” 
Your brows rose. “...What’s later?” You hedged.
--  
“Fuck, Ben, that feels so good,” You whined. Your thighs twitched around his head as he pistoned his fingers in and out of your slick pussy, his tongue lapping at your opening between strokes. Your hands were between your thighs, one gripping his hair, the other holding the toy as it sucked your clit in short, harsh bursts. You rolled your hips into the feeling, whimpering as he nudged the toy out of the way just long enough to lap across your clit and give it a sucking kiss.
You shivered as he replaced the toy, turning his head to nip at the tender meat of your thigh. You pouted as he drew away, shifting up the bed and kneeling beside you. You turned your head, grasping his cock and letting the toy between your thighs fall to the bed as you took him into your mouth. You hummed softly as Borracho groaned, thrusting into your mouth with short, even strokes. 
You felt him shift, the bed shifting slightly as he did. You jumped as the sucking sensation suddenly resumed on your clit. 
“I didn’t tell you to stop,” Borracho growled, shifting the head of the toy around, applying an inconsistent, tantalizing pressure that you ground down into. You bobbed your head, swirling your tongue around the head and fondling his sac. He hissed softly, watching you from beneath his lashes as you peered hazily up at him. 
“Can you cum like this?” He smoothed his hand over your cheek, tracing the bugle of his cock as he pressed between your lips. “Just from playing with your pussy while I use your mouth?” 
You moaned, tipping your head and taking more of his shaft between your lips. You gagged and pulled back a bit as his cock hit the back of your throat, and you drew a deep breath in through your nose before diving forward again, taking in as much as him between your lips as you could.
You grasped his wrist, forcing steady pressure over your clit as your hips drove down into it, feeling the familiar swell of pleasure as you grew closer and closer. You drew off of him just a little, tongue swiping across the leaking head of his cock as your hips jolted up into the sucking toy. You let your mouth fall open, jacking and twisting your hand around his shaft as your hips bounded up against the toy. 
You watched his thick chest rise and fall as his hand wrapped around yours, controlling the speed and direction of the strokes. It was only a few moments before you felt the first spurt of cum paint your chin. You tipped your head down to catch the following thrusts in your mouth, letting it sit on your tongue as you looked up at him. He groaned low, drawing his cock from between your lips as he lay down beside you. He reached up, gently swiping the stray drops from your chin and pressing his fingers between your lips. You laved along his fingertips, giving them a suck before swallowing and sticking your tongue back out. Borracho chuckled, glancing between your thighs and taking the toy up again to turn it off. 
“This thing is great. My jaw only hurts a little.” 
“Speak for yourself,” You muttered, raising your hand to massage the sore area. He snorted. 
“Maybe you need some more practice,” He waggled his brows. 
“Or maybe we need to get you some toys.” 
Tag list: @missredherring ; @fantasticcopeaglepasta ; @massivecolorspygiant ; @blueeyesatnight ; @recklessworry ; @amneris21 ; @ew-erin ; @youngkenobilove ; @carbonated-beverage ; @lorecraft ; @moonlightburned ; @milf-trinity ; @millllenniawrites ; @chattychell ; @dihra-vesa ; @videogamesandpoorlifechoices ; @missswriter ; @thembosapphicclown ; @brandyllyn ; @wildmoonflower ; @buckybarneshairpullingkink ; @mad-girl-without-a-box ; @winchestershiresauce ; @phoenixhalliwell ; @wild-rose-35 ; @daisyslibrary ; @informally-liz ; @andrastesflamingtitties ; @muchacha-encabronada ; @nerdygirl0414 ; @elen-aranel ; @ohbee-whatcanyoube ; @kmc1989 ; @quietpainter ; @thedreadandthefugitivemind ; @kaletastrophes ; @nyx2021 ; @thatesqcrush ; @shanimallina87 ; @adarasforest ; @s-u-t ; @silversprings-mp3 ; @senawashere ; @thesandbeneathmytoes
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tropes-and-tales · 8 months
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Just Be
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Day 4:  Sex Work (Benny Magalon x F!Reader)
(For the 2023 Kinktober event that I created on my own because I am boring and basic and am trying to keep it simple this year...found here!) 
CW:  Light angst (if you count sad thoughts); smut (erotic massage; sex work; PiV, protected); 18+ only.
Word Count:  3059
AN:  This was requested by an anonymous person!
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No one would ever accuse the men of Major Crimes of having their shit together.
Zapata and Connors both teeter into full-blown addiction, the two of them binge drinking on the weekends and days off to make up for the days they can’t drink.  Henderson prefers party drugs and women, runs through both at an alarming rate.  Everyone knows Big Nick’s disaster of a life, cheating on his wife and often missing major moments in his young daughters’ lives because he’s busy partying or playing at being the big man.
Borracho?  Borracho dabbles with alcohol, with the tamer drugs—weed, mostly, but sometimes coke or molly.  But his real vice is women.
Married twice.  Divorced twice.  A failed engagement in between.  Countless girlfriends, and as many one-night stands and hookups as there are stars in the sky.  He likes his women a little crazy, off-kilter enough to keep things interesting.  It’s what always attracts him at the beginning, that scuffed-up angel with a tarnished halo thing.  The type of woman who’s game to blow him in public, who will take his hand eagerly and fuck him in the dirty bathroom at a dive bar.
Unfortunately, those type of women are also the same type to slash his tires or show up at a crime scene to scream at him.  The type to stalk him, follow him to a Major Crimes party and fight with him, then slip off with Big Nick as revenge for some perceived slight.
And maybe none of it mattered when he was young, but he’s creeping closer to middle age now.  He finds the game exhausting now.  He can’t muster up the energy to go out every night like he used to.  The weekend meat market at the bars and clubs feels more like a chore than anything else.  And he goes home alone more often than not:  he’s bordering on creepy now, no longer young, and he sees the side-eye some of the women give him, the wide berth as they walk past the silent man with the salt and pepper facial hair and blurred neck tattoo.
At least he has you.  For awhile now, he’s had you.  The steadiest woman in his life.  Sometimes—when he’s in the throes of a new divorce or curling up alone in his bed after a wasted night out—he’ll contemplate how sad it is that you’re his steadiest relationship. 
You and Borracho, together all this time.  You, the woman who gives erotic massages that lead to more.  Him, the man who pays for your services.
-----
Benny would have never thought himself the type of man to pay for a rub and tug on the regular.  Calling it a rub and tug, though, fails to capture what you really do.
What do you really do?  Benny misunderstood, the first time he paid for your services.  He thought of sex work as a monolith, considered all the sex workers he knew through work and Big Nick’s parties, and he blundered badly.  He got a little rough with you that first time, called you a filthy whore, and you had shut it down immediately.  You had gripped his jaw hard enough to hurt, and stared down at him with cold eyes.
“No,” you’d told him that first time.  “There’s a million girls out here who will let you treat them like shit.  I’m not one of them.  You speak to me respectfully or I leave, understand?”
He did understand.  He had nodded, gulped hard, apologized. 
Everything between the two of you has been smooth ever since.
He calls you when he needs relief, and if he ever gets caught, that’s how he’ll explain it.  It’s just relief, release, whatever.  He’s just a man in need of a woman.
But deep down, he knows it is more.  There are a million girls who will let him treat them terribly, but there’s only one you.  Benny knows he keeps returning to you because you give relief, release, whatever…but you also give comfort.  When he’s heartsore and exhausted to the marrow of his bones, you’re there for him. 
Sometimes—like when he’s watching his brother and his young family living so happily together—he’ll contemplate how sad it is that he has married and dated absolute disasters but how he has to pay the sweetest, gentlest woman he’s ever known for her time and company.
-----
In the beginning, you met in neutral territory, hotel rooms, mostly.  Then you started going to his apartment, leaving a ghostly trace of your perfume on his pillows that would linger for a day or two.  For the last year or so, though, you’ve allowed him to come to your place—your home, where few clients are even afforded a glimpse—because you’ve known him so long and trust him.
You have a little bungalow in Silver Lake, and Benny wonders if your neighbors know what you do for a living.  He knocks on your door, and he doesn’t wait long before you’re opening it and ushering him in.
“It’s been a while,” you say, and you have the same soft smile you always greet him with.  You’re in your usual casual outfit, a wrap dress he knows has nothing underneath it.  You bring him to your guest room—reserved for your work—and you offer him something to drink.
He declines.  He’d been tipsy that first time with you when he badly erred, and he always remains sober since that night.
“This is for you,” he says, and he hands you your fee—an exorbitant amount plus tip, but worth every penny.  He slips it in a greeting card each time, a flimsy pretense in case you get caught.  But you never do.
You take it, thank him.  You slip the card out of the envelope, but you don’t count the cash in front of him.  He’s earned enough trust that you don’t verify his payment, but you do like to see which card he’s selected for each tryst.  Sometimes it’s a birthday card, and sometimes it’s a different sentiment or holiday.  Sometimes he looks for more obscure holidays, just to make you laugh.
Tonight’s card makes you laugh.  It’s a genuine laugh; you throw your head back, open-mouthed, and laugh full from your belly. 
“’For a wonderful pastor and wife’?” you read.  “Seriously, Ben?”
He lifts a shoulder in a shrug, bites back a smile.  “Found it in the ‘Clergy Appreciation’ section of the store.”
You laugh again, then you thank him.  You tuck the card and money in a discreet drawer on the table that holds all of your various massage tools and implements, and you turn to face him.  Your broad grin has been replaced by your soft smile again.
“Shall we?” you ask.
-----
If Benny Magalon had a therapist, they’d have a better handle on his psyche than he does.  Benny doesn’t spend much time ruminating on what makes him tick, what his likes and dislikes and fears and hopes say about him.  If asked, he’d say he’s a simple man, a guy’s guy who likes beer and women and sports, who is generally unphased by life. 
A therapist would peel past all of that and declare it complete bullshit.
Benny is a child of a broken home who grew up to be a detective.  He’s been shot at.  He’s shot suspects.  He has killed.  He stands over the bodies of murdered people—men, women, children.  He sinks down into the underworld on a regular basis, touches on the darkest parts of human nature.  He unwinds with alcohol, drugs, and women, and his only real relationships are his Major Crimes brothers and his multitude of hot, crazy women.
His Major Crimes brothers don’t really know him.  His multitude of women don’t either.  Hell, Benny hardly even knows himself.
A therapist wouldn’t need much time to figure out what he gets out of this thing with you.  What he gets from you, the lone woman standing amongst failed marriages, a failed engagement, and countless failed relationships.  What no one else has ever given him.
Gentle touches.  A care and attention to his body, the gnarled knots of muscles, the twinging nerves pinched from sitting in a car all day for a stake-out.  Soft kisses on every part of him, your skilled hands stroking him, working him into a state of relaxation he’s never known anywhere else but with you.  Soft music playing in the background, soft light illuminating the room.  The soft scent of your perfume, your shampoo, your body wash. 
Everything about you is so fucking soft, and you make him soft too, and if Benny ever bumps against that realization, he shoves it away, doesn’t examine it.  But the fact remains:  you are the one person who makes him soft, and you give him the safe space to be soft.  Benny gets to leave it all behind—the sad childhood, the disappointing relationships, the loneliness, the unhealthy coping mechanisms, the filth and grit of his job.  He gets to shed his tough-guy persona, the whole stiff-upper-lip thing.  He doesn’t have to pretend to be okay, doesn’t have to bury his feelings deep for fear of having Big Nick call him a pussy or worse.
Benny gets to just be.
Tonight, you undress him slowly.  You never hurry.  He’s bought your time, and you never cheat him.  You unbutton his shirt, push it off of his shoulders and arms.  You undo his belt, unbutton his jeans, push them down over his hips.  You push his boxers down too, and you drag your knuckles lightly over his half-hard cock but go no further.  You drop sweet little kisses along the parts of him you expose, his chest and his shoulders, and once he’s naked, you gesture for him to lie down on the bed.
Benny knows the drill.  He lies face-down on the bed, and already he feels more relaxed.  More himself, whoever that may be.  He sloughs off the past few months, the awful cases he’s worked, the failed dates and relationships that never left the ground.  He’s not ruminating on the past and he’s not worried about the future.  He’s just here, now, with you.
A moment later, and he hears the plastic snap of the bottle, the massage oil you warm between your palms before you climb on the bed and join him.  You straddle his waist, and it’s a comforting weight on him.  A moment after that, your hands on him:  warm, slick, accompanied by the light scent of sandalwood.  Stroking him from head to toe.
You start at his scalp.  Your fingernails scratch him lightly, you tug at his short hair.  Down to all the small muscles in his neck, the larger ones in his shoulder and back.  You have a rhythm that makes him sink into the bed:  light strokes that makes him spark to life, makes goosebumps prickle along his skin.  Harder strokes, your fingertips seeking the knots and whorls and loosening them.  Then your bent head, your lips light as air, like you’re sealing your massage work with a chaste kiss to push the magic deeper into him.
You scoot lower, straddle his thighs.  You work his lower back, his ass, and you always give him a flirty little smack that makes him laugh after so much squirming, since he’s especially ticklish there.
Then lower.  You massage his hamstrings, work out the stiffness there, then the knot in his calf that snarls up when he sleeps, always wakes him up with the pain.  Then his feet, finally, and you sometimes joke about breaking out the belt sander to keep his hooves soft, but tonight you just hum and ask him to turn over.
He does, and Benny is never so happy to have this time to be soft as he is when he turns over.  You always look so gorgeous in the soft candlelight, the sight of you straddling him in your dress and him naked, like you’re some sort of goddess coaxing him to life from the common clay of the earth. 
He knows he pays for it, but this is nothing like his usual dalliances.  It’s nothing like he had in his two disastrous marriages, his disastrous engagement.  He can cede control to you and not feel like less of a man; he can let you soothe him, he can focus on the way he feels instead of endlessly worrying that he’s performing well, that he’s the biggest, that he lasts the longest out of any other man his partner has been with.
Besides, when he turns over, that’s when you kiss him in earnest.  That’s when you snake a hand into some inner, hidden tie within your dress and loosen it, let the soft fabric pool around your shoulders and over the swell of your breasts before you toss it aside.  That’s when you turn those clever hands of yours to more promising parts of him:  his chest down to his belly, then down to where his cock strains for you.
But you don’t rush it.  You give the front of him the same amount of attention, if not more.  You pause more to return to his mouth, to kiss him, alternating playful pecks against more passionate ones where you seal your mouth over his, where you lick against him until he’s groaning and squirming underneath you.
You put your mouth to his chest, nipping against his pecs, laying the edge of your teeth lightly against his nipples before you lave his tender flesh with your tongue.  Benny always thinks of it afterwards, this simplest of movements, but how you’re the only woman to ever put her mouth to his nipples, to explore this most obvious of erogenous zones on him.
Through all of it, praise.  You tell him in your quiet voice how good he is, how perfect.  You praise every bit of him—the muscles he works so hard to maintain in the gym, sure, but also the parts no one else ever notices.  His eyes, his hands, his legs, his ass.  You seem to genuinely like his hands, so when he reaches out to steady you against him, you don’t push him away.
Benny wonders sometimes if you’re like this with other clients or just him, but he never allows himself to get obsessive about it.  He’s savvy enough to know that he’s not that far from jealousy, and it would be a fatal mistake to mix feelings with this relationship.
Okay, so he only allows himself to get a little jealous.  Only sometimes.
You can always judge when he’s reached the limits of his patience.  Benny gets squirmy, wriggles underneath you, but you always ask the same question, a paragon of consensual sex.
“You ready, handsome?” you ask.
His answer is always the same, and Benny can be corny with you, can run the stupidest of lines on you because he doesn’t have to play it cool at all.
“I was born ready, beautiful.”
Which always makes your soft smile widen, and then you reach past him to snag a condom.  You tear the foil, and you roll the latex onto him, and this is the sole moment where Benny has regrets:  he’s not against condoms, but he wishes he could fuck you raw.
He wishes he knew what it feels like to slide into you, to feel not just the warmth and tightness of you but also the slickness of your arousal.  Some primal part of him—the jealous part, he guesses—wishes he could come inside you, mark you as his.  He could convince you to retire, could have you for himself—
You cut him off, cut off his usual fantasy, by grasping his cock and lining it up with your entrance, then mounting him.  Slowly.  You always go slow.  You take him inch by inch, gaze into his eyes as you impale yourself on his throbbing length.  Benny tries to gaze back at you, wants to be fully in the moment, but you always feel so fucking good that he ends up squeezing his eyes shut and clenching his jaw against the urge to thrust up into you and come immediately.
And you always do the same thing here, too.  You reach down and grip his jaw—an echo of that first night together, but you’re gentle now.  You hold him until he opens his eyes again, and you chide him softly.  You run the tip of your thumb over his lower lip, the touch so featherlight he wants to weep. 
“This is about you, Ben,” you remind him.  “Don’t you dare hold back, okay?”
He doesn’t hold back, but he still manages to make you come nine out of ten times.  He doesn’t hold back as his hips press up as you bounce on his cock, your tits gorgeous as they bounce too, your thighs strong and rounded as you work yourself on him.  He doesn’t push away his orgasm as it approaches, but he shifts a hand to where you’re joined to him.  He rubs against your clit, slick and swollen, and Benny knows you’re a pro, but he doesn’t think you’re faking it when your rhythm gets sloppy.  He thinks it’s genuine, how you whine out his name, how your bracing hand on his chest spasms against his pec.
But he knows that you aren’t faking it when you come a beat later.  There’s no way you could fake the way your cunt seizes up and grips his cock, the way your smooth muscles ripple against him like they want to pull him deeper inside of you.
He’s never far behind you.  He’s grateful for the condom in this moment because it affords him those final few thrusts, his hips leaving the bed as he fucks up into you, before he comes too.  The languid heat that has been pooling low in his belly all night finally spills over, molten hot as he comes harmlessly into the latex.  The heat spreads outward from his belly to his limbs, up into his head, and Benny thinks, I could die right now and I’d die happy.
Perfectly safe in your cozy little cocoon of a room.  Perfectly relaxed from your skilled hands and clever mouth and perfect pussy.
Perfectly just himself.
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This Christmas
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Pairing: Benny "Borracho" Magalon x Reader
Word Count: 4,755
Summary: Benny tries to create a Christmas Eve for you during a hard time in your life.
Warnings: Kind of fluffy, but talk of grief, guilt, parental loss. Some foul language. If I missed anything else let me know and I'll add it in.
A/N: This is the first fic I've finished in over 20+ years so...it's probably mediocre at best. A lot has changed in how fics were written in late 90s and I'm still trying to grasp that. Fair warning: I am not a good writer unless it's an email. Apologies in advance if my inability to understand sentence structure is obvious and if there are any typos.
I love stupid lifetime and hallmark Christmas movies, so there are probably hints of that in this. I chose Benny because he had like 4 lines in Den of Thieves and he seemed easy to work with. The story has some personal meaning to me, so if you hate it just keep it to yourself lol
I also want to give a shout out to @mariamariquinha @the-hinky-panda @cheesybadgers @mysoulisasunflower and @bullet-prooflove for the encouragement and kind words when I posted about my hesitation in sharing this.
----------------------
The guys are sitting in their chairs, staring at Benny like he has three heads. He’d just spent the last 20 minutes explaining why he needs their help in a few days; on Christmas Eve. He wouldn’t be embarrassing himself like some love struck fool if he had any other choice.
“This is sick, Borracho. Really sick.” Zapata shakes his head as he breaks the silence.
“Didn’t realize you were so fucking romantic.” Henderson joins in.
Big Nick slaps his hand on Benny’s back as he passes him to go back to his office, “Count me out, shithead.” 
Benny groans and hangs head. He really should have just figured out a way to do this himself. Now he’ll never hear the end of it from these miserable fucks. And calling him a “romantic;" these idiots wouldn’t know romance if it punched them in their faces. It’s not even like he’s that romantic. They’re acting like it’s a crime to be thoughtful. 
He can’t help it if being a good detective makes him more attentive, more considerate in relationships. He’s always finding himself filing away little things that you mention–or don’t mention. He has a collection of these in his mind, some even from before you started dating. And now he wants to use all these bits and pieces of information to try to create the perfect Christmas Eve for you. Christmas Eve because he knows you love it more than the actual day itself. But the guys' blank stares and biting little remarks are not inspiring confidence. Benny runs his hands over his face and rolls his chair closer to the desk.
“Forget I said anything.”
“Look at this sad, sack of shit.” Connors is laughing and throws a paper clip at Benny. “You’re going to owe us big time, you know that right?”
Benny breathes a sigh of relief. The guys are definitely going to haunt him with this for as long as he lives, but it will be worth it.
“I know.”
—-
This is Benny’s first real Christmas with you. Although he secretly counts the morning of the previous Christmas Eve when he stopped by your donut shop Glazy For You. He wasn’t working and had no reason to be in the neighborhood. But he wanted to see you without all the other guys there. If they were all there, he wouldn’t have been able to work up the nerve to ask you out. They’d harass both of you to no end. When he stood in front of your counter and asked, he’ll never forget how you laughed. You questioned him if it was a ploy for a group of cops to get free donuts. Then you were quiet for a moment and he almost started talking to fill the silence. But then he heard you say yeah okay and it was like he had been struck by lightning. You wrote your number down on a business card and handed it to him. Benny struggled to play it cool while he was leaving only to break down and text immediately from his car. He thought if he waited even one second longer you’d change your mind. 
The first date was the week between Christmas and the New Year. That week is like a brief interlude in your life where anything can happen. Benny remembers that he must have been on that night because you stared intently whenever he spoke. He also remembers how beautiful you looked when you were talking about your work. The way you lit up when talking about Maple Bars made him laugh. He’d never met someone so in love with one type of donut. He could swear at one point when you were talking about them he saw your eyes actually sparkle. There was a familiarity throughout the date that made Benny feel immediately comfortable. The first date turned into a second date, and then a third. At some point when he was loading the dishwasher at your house, he realized he had stopped counting.
You both tried to keep the relationship quiet whenever the guys had stopped by to cure their hangovers with donuts and coffee. He knows how obnoxious they can be and he didn’t want them ruining anything. Ultimately, Benny ruins it for himself when he breaks the cardinal rule of never smiling while texting. When Connors had grabbed his phone and started showing how he has your contact name as Maple Bar—he knew there was no chance of keeping you to himself anymore.
Benny was right, of course. The next time they went, they practically dragged him in while shouting “Maple Bar” at you. You laughed as your face turned red, trying to play it off, but the secret was out. After the novelty of the relationship wore off for the guys, they started calling you “Benny’s girl”. Whenever he heard, he felt like the pit of his stomach was going to drop out. Things between you and the guys stayed largely the same—you joked around with them before and you joke around with them now. The only thing that’s different is Benny feels protective of you even though he knows you’re fine. That was another thing he filed away—that you were the first woman to actually appreciate his bond with the guys. You know they have his back and that’s what’s important to you. It’s just one of the reasons Benny’s love for you grows.
—-
Near the end of the summer your dad passed away suddenly. Benny was at work, but when he got your text, he called you asking where you were. He knew your family dynamics were difficult and he didn’t want you to be alone. He thinks maybe a different sort of man would have been scared by the rawness of the situation. That it would have been too much, too soon. But Benny doesn’t scare easily, so he sat with you on the floor, in the kitchen of your closed shop. He kept you close to him while you cried and listened as you told him how you felt stupid for crying because your relationship with your dad wasn’t the best. His chest tightened when you told him you felt like you didn’t deserve to feel sad. That sadness was reserved for a relationship that had been whole. Benny anchored you to him, afraid that if he let go, you might drift away.
Benny knows you tried to hide being sad after that. You sneak off to the bathroom to cry periodically and one time he follows you. Benny knows about stuffing feelings down—it’s part of his job—but he doesn’t want you doing the same. He gets you talking, you tell him you have this guilt for not attending the funeral. You couldn’t bring yourself to be in a room with his wife of only a few years making everything about herself. Especially after she wouldn’t let you come to their house to look through his things. He didn’t judge you for making that decision; he knows what it’s like to have to make choices not knowing if you are making the right one. Still, Benny’s heart would break when you would  refer to yourself as a horrible person, a horrible daughter. He knows he wasn’t a witness to many things in your life, but he also knows you’re not a bad person. He’s seen how you always step up to help people—giving your money or your time. You even kept Connors fed while he was on leave due to an injury. You give to others what you seem unable to give to yourself and it makes Benny’s heart ache
You seem okay until Thanksgiving with his parents. It was your first time meeting his family and in Benny’s eyes, it was a success. His parents loved you right away. His mom loved the extra help in the kitchen. His sister delighted in telling you the secrets of his childhood. His dad was impressed you owned your own business. But as you both sat in the car outside the house you broke down crying. You kept apologizing while telling him how wonderful his family is; how being around them reminded you that you’d never have another holiday with your dad. You explained how Christmas was his favorite holiday. That he would spend hours stringing up lights around the house before making spritz cookies with you. You took some shallow breaths trying to calm yourself down before listing all the Christmas Eve traditions your family had. That those memories somehow always eclipse the shittier parts of your childhood. Benny held your hand while you spoke. He knows what it’s like to lose people, in his line of work it’s inevitable. But he doesn’t know what it’s like to lose a parent so he stays quiet. When Benny feels you squeeze his hand it sparks something in him. He suddenly becomes very determined to make this Christmas Eve perfect for you.
—-
When December 24th finally arrives, Benny feels as excited as he did when he was a kid. He knew you would be working which gives him time to decorate your house. The only person that backs out from helping is Big Nick—but he never actually agreed so Benny can’t really hold it against him. He puts Connors and Henderson on Christmas lights duty. Benny takes the inside, he knows the guys well enough to not trust them to go through your things. 
Benny finds all of your Christmas decorations and another string of lights in the hallways closet. When he’s grabbing a box labeled ornaments off the shelf a box, wrapped in silver and red striped paper falls to the floor. When he picks it up to place it back on the shelf he catches a glimpse of the white tag on it—To: Benny. He can’t help but smile when he closes the door. 
While he is untangling the lights, Zapata comes in with a tree. Benny looks at it and laughs. It’s so sparse and wide he can see through it. 
“It’s the only one they had.” He shrugs as he props it up against the wall. 
Benny touches one of the branches. “It is a tree, so I guess you did what I asked.”
Zapata shakes his head. “Man, this is a crazy, fucking thing you’re doing.” 
Benny smiles to himself thinking that love will make you do crazy, fucking things.
“I know.”
Zapata leaves and he can hear him shouting up to Connors and Henderson on the roof. Benny can hear them talking about him using their standard terms of endearment: dickless, crazy asshole, and idiot. Benny doesn’t care, because Benny has you. 
It only takes a handful of hours for the guys to put the lights up outside and for Benny to finish decorating inside. The tree doesn’t look as bad once he wraps some lights around it and puts your ornaments up. He’s charmed by the fact you kept all these ornaments from when you were a kid–one for every year until you turned 18. He got some frosted glass spray and tries his best to make your windows look wintery. Finally, Benny wraps your gift in some plaid wrapping paper he found. He surprises himself by the fact that it doesn’t look like complete garbage.
—-
Your car is conveniently having its brakes repaired so Benny told you he would pick you up once you closed for the evening. You’d come back to his place for dinner and a movie and then call it a night. But Benny is sending Connors to pick you up instead. Benny is going to need the extra time to do something he hasn’t done since he was a kid—make cookies.
There’s a reason why Benny hasn’t made cookies in decades. He’s lost when it comes to anything more than standard kitchen fare. Spaghetti, grilling, he can do that just fine. But baking might as well be nuclear science. He’s grateful your kitchen is 90% baking supplies, it saves him from having to fumble around a store looking for all of it.
You have so many recipe books he doesn’t know where to begin. He tries looking through them, but gives up and resorts to googling one on his phone. He thinks maybe it’s cheating to look up the recipe online, but how many variants of this could there be? Somewhere between the 1st and 10th recipe he looks at he finally notices the jump to recipe feature; saving him from the life stories of food bloggers. He settles on one that has minimal backstory, thinking that means it’s an easier.
By the time Benny is done he has what seems like 10 dozen cookies and has made a mess of your entire kitchen. He doesn’t know how he used almost every single dish you have to make one kind of cookie. He tries one of them and he can’t tell if they are supposed to taste like that or if he fucked something up. For Benny, the most pathetic part of the whole thing was that he had to call his mother. A grown, adult man Face Timing his mother because he couldn’t figure out how to work a cookie press. He didn’t realize it would be more complicated than cleaning a gun. He knows he’ll never live this down.
—-
You’re waiting outside of your shop for Benny when you see Connors’ car pull up. Your stomach tightens automatically when you see him step out of the car. Your mind goes to the worst, that something’s happened to Benny.
“Hey Murph, is everything okay?” 
“Borracho got called into work. Asked me to take you home.” 
Once you know Benny is okay your mind goes to how much you hate his nickname. It’s so totally unrepresentative of the man you know.
“Oh, he should have texted. I could have just taken an Uber or something.” 
“You can pay me if it makes you feel better.” 
You laugh as you double check the lock on your security gate. 
“I know how you drive. If you get me home in one piece, then we can discuss your fee.” 
As you get in the car you can hear Connors go on and on about how excellent of a driver he is. You roll your eyes as you put your seatbelt on. 
You’re thankful for the mostly quiet car ride to your house. Connors fills you in on why Benny had to go into work. For whatever reason he seems to be laying it on a little thick—a string of toy store robberies makes it sound like he just watched Home Alone 2. At any moment you feel like he is going to mention a woman covered in pigeons. You don’t think you’ve ever said ‘uh huh’ so much in your life. 
On the drive you see so many houses lit up with Christmas lights and decorations in yards that it starts to make you sad. Sad that you didn’t even get a tree. Sad that you won’t be able to spend your first real Christmas together, together. The Christmas Eve when he asked you out probably only counts in your mind. It still feels strange—the fact that he asked you out. From the first time he came in you developed a little crush. Initially, you didn’t know he was a cop. If you had, it might have stifled your growing crush a bit. You liked that he stood out in that pack of loud voices by not being one. The first time he spoke to you, you wondered how a man with a neck tattoo could have a voice as soft as his. And he was so handsome on that first date in his dark green flannel. You loved the gray speckled in his facial hair; it gave you the impression he was a serious kind of guy, not prone to playing games.
You sigh loud enough that Connors gives you a weird look and you try to pretend like it was yawn. You look back out to the houses and think maybe being alone tonight is better. You’ve been a real fucking downer lately and why ruin a perfectly good Christmas Eve for someone else.
—-
Connors stops at the bottom of a driveway belonging to a house that’s not yours. It looks like your house—a small, one-story, dark blue house with white trim, a small porch, and a window looking out to the street. But you know your house does not have Christmas lights. And this house masquerading as yours, is all lit up.
“This is not my house.”
“Yeah it is.” Connors points and you see Benny standing on the porch, illuminated by the lights. 
“You’re such an asshole.” You blink back the tears that are on the edge of falling. 
He laughs, “Yeah, I know.” 
You thank Connors before getting out of the car. You have a feeling he did more than just give you a ride home. When you step out of his car and close the door behind you, you stand for a moment staring at your house. You don’t think you've ever seen it look so beautiful. It looks like a painting with Benny standing there looking so beautiful too in his dark green flannel buttoned all the way to the top. 
“I knew something was up when Murph was reciting the plot to Home Alone 2 as your work emergency.” 
You give a sly smile as you walk up your porch steps. You can hear Connors’ car idling until Benny waves and he drives off.
“I knew I should’ve had Henderson pick you up.” 
You kiss Benny lightly and wrap your arms around his neck. 
“If I’d known you were breaking out the formal flannel, I would have dressed up.” 
Benny laughs as he takes one of your hands in his. He looks at you in your sugar and icing stained t-shirt and jeans. You look so pretty standing there he almost says what he’s been holding in for months, but stops himself.
“You look perfect.”
Benny squeezes your hand as he brings you into the house. 
—-
You’re overwhelmed when you see everything. You see the tree decorated with your ornaments. It’s so breathtaking, better than any tree you’ve ever seen in your life. But you know that even if it was just a branch tacked to your wall you’d feel the same way. Before you can turn around to tell Benny how much you love it, he’s next to you.
“It’s a little sparse, I know.“ 
You look at him looking at the tree.
“Benny,” you stop to choke down the sob that’s building in your throat, “it’s wonderful. This tree is perfect. It’s all perfect.” 
And everything is. The garland he’s hung around your house. The haphazard fake frostiness added to the windows. The cinnamon scented candles he’s lit all around your living room. It’s like being in a snow globe after everything has settled.
“A lot of sap in here! Looks great. A little full. A lot of sap.”
You didn’t even catch that the television was on, but when you hear it, you know exactly what it is. You turn around and see that Benny has Christmas Vacation playing. That’s the thing that finally pushes you over the edge. This movie that you watched every Christmas Eve since you can remember. The movie that perfectly encapsulates what Christmas meant to you as a kid. The sadness you’ve been feeling and now suddenly the joy you’re experiencing because of Benny finally all bubbles to the surface.
You bury your face in his neck and start to cry for everything that you know you’ll miss but also for what you have right now. His body acts as a solid mass you can lock yourself to. Benny is kissing the top of your head and you’d be embarrassed if it was anyone else witnessing this. But with Benny you know he won’t judge you. He will give you exactly what you need, even when you don’t know you need it.
You pull back and look at him. He cups your face in his hands and brushes the tears from your face with his thumb.
“I miss him, Benny.” 
“You’re allowed to miss him.” 
When Benny says it, you feel like a weight has been lifted off of you. The weight of the self-inflicted punishment for mourning something that wasn’t perfect. You take a step back from him and look around the room again. You want to remember this moment as it is.
“This means everything to me. I hope you know that.”
“I have something else. Stay here.” 
Benny can feel his heart vibrating in his chest as he goes to the kitchen to grab a plate of cookies. He holds it behind his back until he’s in front of you. When you look down at the plate he sees you smile as you grab a wreath shaped cookie off the plate.
“You made these?”
Before he can answer you, you take a bite. He can see your face changing from excitement to what can only be described as delighted horror. Benny’s chest tightens knowing he messed something up.
“Uh….what’s wrong?”
“I think you mixed up the salt and sugar measurements.”
You see Benny’s face fall and you feel so bad that you finish the cookie in your hand and grab another one.
“Don’t eat it!” 
He quickly knocks the cookie out of your hand. You grab another one and he does the same thing. He drops the plate on the floor and it’s all so magically bizarre that you start laughing and can’t stop. You try to say something but you end up in a fit of giggles that makes Benny start laughing. 
“It’s happened to me before. Don’t worry about it.” You manage to wheeze the words out as you wipe the tears–happy tears–from your eyes.
Benny gets serious for a moment, “I just wanted this whole night to be perfect.”
You step over the pile of cookies on the floor and kiss him gently on the lips. He rests his hand on your low back and sighs into you. 
You whisper against his lips, “I can’t imagine anything more perfect than what you’ve done for me.”
Benny rests his forehead against yours, “I have one more thing for you. I didn’t bake it, so don’t worry.”
You smile, “I have something for you too.” 
You break out of his hold and go to the hallway closet. Benny crouches down and gathers the cookies that dropped on the floor back onto the plate. He can’t believe he used so much salt and didn’t even notice. As he’s placing the plate on your coffee table he sees you by the tree holding the wrapped box he spotted earlier. You pick up a thin box wrapped in plaid paper. You walk over to the couch and hand Benny his gift.
“Open yours first.” Benny nods to the gift wrapped in plaid paper that you’re holding as he sits down.
Benny watches you sit down as you carefully undo the ribbon and slide your finger underneath the tape. He’s never seen someone unwrap a gift so carefully and it makes him smile.
“Oh Benny, you remembered.” 
Benny watches you run your hand over the open box containing The Polar Express book set with the silver bell and cassette tape. He remembered the time the movie came on and you complained how it could never compare to the book illustrations and the William Hurt narration. You told him that you always listened to it as a family before you got too old to think it was cool. When you said it he saw the look on your face and he did what he always does; he filed it away.
“Guess who learned about Etsy this year?” 
The face Benny makes, causes you to laugh. The thought of him making an account and searching for this is a gift in and of itself.
“I would have paid to see that.” You look back at the book, “This is the best gift. Thank you.” 
You lean across the small gap between the two of you and kiss him. It’s deeper this time and you can feel the little moan that comes out of Benny’s mouth making you smile. The scratch of his facial hair on your face is a reminder to you that even though Benny seems tough on the outside he’s the exact opposite with you.
You shift back to your seat and nod at the gift Benny is turning over in his hands. He holds it still for a moment before opening it. He takes an opposite approach in unwrapping; ripping the ribbon off, and tearing through the paper. When he opens the box he’s surprised to see a watch that looks exactly like the one he had lost while he was out working on a case. This was right around the time you two had started dating and he wasn’t even aware you had ever paid attention to it. It was a watch he had worn forever—his favorite watch. And when he couldn’t find an exact replacement, he settled on a lesser watch, a watch that never quite measured up. But this, this was it. This was his watch.
“How did you—“
“You’re not the only Etsy user around here.” 
Benny laughs as he takes off the watch he’s wearing to put this one on. You had planned on finding it for his birthday, but it took longer than expected. You can’t even remember how many places you went searching for a watch you could only describe from memory. It was a gift that you bought to hopefully express your love to him when you were afraid to say the words out loud.
Benny grabs your hand and yanks you on top of him. His arm wraps around your waist, his brown eyes looking into you, trying to determine if it’s something he should say now or if he should wait. He knows he could have—should have—said it months ago. Now, there’s something now about the way you’re cradling his face with your hands. Or how your eyes are locked on his own, that is making him loopy.
“I love you..” he stammers to correct himself, “I’ve loved you.” 
He blurts it out like a criminal breaking down and confessing a crime. You’re both still and Benny’s worried he’s made a mistake. But then you run your hand over his hair and back down to his cheek–it makes Benny twitch. You kiss the crown of his head, the side of his nose, his jaw, and then his lips. 
“I love you too, Benny.”
Benny’s skin prickles when you say his name. He shifts so he’s more upright, holding you in his lap. 
“You’re so beautiful.” He buries his face in your chest and squeezes you against him. “I love you so much.” 
You’re thinking of how Benny’s hold on you feels like you’re finally home when something catches your eye through the window.
“I think it’s snowing?”
You climb off of Benny and you both turn to look out of the window. There’s a flurry of white flakes all around your front yard. Benny sees you staring slack jawed through the window and starts to laugh.
“Come on.” He stands up from the couch and tilts his head towards the front door. 
You get up and follow him outside onto your porch. You see a layer of snow covering the grass in your yard and don’t understand how it’s snowing in Los Angeles when it’s 70 degrees out. You stick your hand out and feel the crisp flakes land and melt into your palm.
“How?” You look at Benny and he’s smiling. He points to a man in the corner of your yard with some kind of machine and you finally realize where it’s coming from.
“Compliments of Big Nick!” The man yells it across the yard.
Benny can’t believe that shithead Nick came through. He knows he’ll be paying him back for the rest of his life. But when he looks at you watching the snow like it's some kind of Christmas miracle it doesn’t matter, Benny would pay him back ten lifetimes over. He feels the sting of tears in his eyes and pulls you to him resting his head on top of yours.
“Merry Christmas, Maple Bar.”
“Merry Christmas, Benny.”
77 notes · View notes
mariamariquinha · 1 year
Text
Bossa Nova (Benny ‘Borracho’ Magalon x f! reader) - Eight
Tumblr media
Seven | Nine
Summary: When Nick’s stuff gets in the way.
Word count: 5.9k
Warnings: Bad words, SMUT, protected p in v sex, mentions of oral sex, mention of drug crimes, violence and other things related, mention of strip clubs and slight reference to corruption.
Gatita - Kitten
Author’s Note: Took me a lot, I don’t know what happened. Eh. That’s it!
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!
Join my taglist! Don’t forget to reblog, comment and like! As always, I would love to know what you’re all thinking! ❤
------------------------------
He didn’t make love to you - it wasn’t something you personally asked. 
He fucked you.
But it was… kinda sweet, because you didn’t ask to be treated like a whore either. He looked and acted and sounded intuitive. You could guess it before - Benny was quiet, discreet. None of his friends would be able to sell themselves to make a good impression like that. 
He had a sense of self-preservation to begin with. Easy eyes, kind hands, even if the situation itself could eventually be too heated and not very… kind. Benny might’ve had his reputation, the Borracho of his name, but if you thought that your nerdy-facts-conversation was anything but stupid, seeing him really turned on by your talking made you go for some assumptions. 
Benny didn’t need to ask permission. Right there? When he was making your skin burn from that feeling he could bring? You couldn’t care less. Dangerous or not. 
With the experience of a guy like him, he maneuvered your body to lay on the bed below him. It was like he owned the place and you, from the way his eyes stared you down while stripping you even more naked than you already were - from face to chest to belly to pussy then thighs. These last ones, he grabbed firmly, biting his lower lip while spreading them to stare straight at your entrance. 
“You look so good like this.” 
“A mess?” 
“A horny mess,” He teased, fingers brushing over your clit and making you shiver. “Nerdy horny mess, probably using that smart brain of yours to come with another scientific explanation for something.”
You smiled at that, confirming what was really playing inside your mind. He probably had a platonic crush on a teacher back in high school, you deduced as you shifted with some impatience for him to touch you where you really wanted soon. Benny grinned at your reaction, just for a moment, just to meet your eyes again and dive in to kiss your lips. 
There it was. Fuck, there it was. 
Ever since that first date, under the streetlamp, you've known why Benny has been on your mind: the kiss. He made it a thing, not just foreplay but an act itself. Of course, the first time, he had the restraint and decorum not to invade your space like that, but until then, there was the intensity of someone who made the experience worthwhile. If you were in your full mental capacity, not really thinking about the way his cock brushed your leg with signs of arousal, you'd say it could be just him doing things the right way because… Well, life. You weren’t complaining.
First, he just brushed his lips over yours - enough to make you eager and chase for more, or enough to make him smirk from that while leaning away. When he closed the gap again, though, it was different. Benny grabbed your breast firmly while giving you one of those kisses that left you wanting: languid, slow, wet, distracting enough to not make you notice him playing with your nipple, but just feel it. He massaged, pinched, testing how it would make you give him something. When you moaned against his mouth, body buzzing with his touch, Benny moved his hips just a little, just to show he was getting aroused just as you. 
His body frame was stocky, firm - you weren't as flexible, your legs had to spread with some effort to make him fit between them. And all of this ‘study’ and ‘research’ made the guy patient to prepare you; he didn’t stick the thing there to call it a day. Your nipples were sensitive from arousal, pebbled and well deserved of his ministrations. When the kiss came to a stop, he kissed the corner of your mouth, then lowered his lips to your neck, shoulder, chest… Just to suck on the one nipple which didn’t get his earlier attention. You whimpered at the contact. It was overwhelming, almost too much - titties on his mouth while he grinded against you.
A moan escaped from you again, enough to make him raise his eyes to catch the reaction. 
Whatever Benny saw, if he saw your prospect (a look of almost devotion and lust), it was enough to seal the kind of urge you two had: to get what made you both look so uninhibited of a relationship still little explored. For pleasure, maybe. Just because. Because he was nice. Hot. A good kisser. A good fucker, by all means. Attractive. Attentive. 
A small whimper escaped his mouth right after you grabbed his cock, a delicate touch to pump all of that glory because damn if your mind wasn’t fuzzy enough to create cringe anecdotes like Nora Roberts. The tip of your tongue touched his lower lip and he stared at you, then down at where you kept massaging him. Unashamed of his reactions, Benny moaned as an answer, moving his hips in motion with your hand. With a groan, he put one hand on the headboard to steady his body and, more precisely, give him the chance to play with your pussy. 
No, you were definitely not naive, not even esoteric enough - the pleasure you and he were feeling was purely carnal, coming from two people going to the right places at the right time to arouse the right feelings. Still, when Benny slipped two fingers inside of you effortlessly, it was like that feeling of being in something you barely remembered, of being able to lift your hips to make his fingers go deeper, to touch you more precisely, was the closest you got from a heavenly sensation.
You both moaned in unison against your own lips when you felt that hard-on shiver; you with the bending of his fingers inside you and him with the touch you made to the tip of his cock. He literally shivered, furrowed brows and a low groan escaping, as if you got him just right. 
“... Wanna suck you so bad, you know?” You panted against his cheek, making him hum. 
“Next time…” Benny whispered in a weak tone, not stopping his movements for a split second. “Next time you’ll swallow every drop, gatita*. Milk your throat all the way. Lemme just… Lemme fuck you, yeah? Wanna feel your pussy around me again.”
Trouble, your mind screamed, even if your body melted when he spreaded your thighs and pumped his fingers for just another moment before pulling your hand away from him. A fuckboy, you concluded, right when he put the second condom on with the precision of explicit practice, placing the palm of his hand on your chest to keep your body down and fully laid on the bed. 
Then he fucked you - entering all at once, without hesitation, and fucked you like hell. A good hell, full of his small whimpers and sweet voice cracks when he felt you squeeze his cock the right way. Deep, harsh thrusts that made you see stars, all the while with that small belly of his brushing your pubic area. To steady yourself, one of your hands grabbed his shoulder, while the other held his waist because fuck, you wanted more. Your nails sank on his skin, your body eager to have more, more, more… And he gave all he had. The force of his body, strength and energy, all modulated in the way Benny impaled you, one hand raising your thigh to have a better angle, just to go deeper. You bit his shoulder to prevent a high pitched moan - in retaliation, he sucked your neck. 
When you came, all you could do was drink the sensation while he sped up his hips to chase his own release. Even sensible, you couldn’t help but want more of that, the sound of the skin-on-skin too good to come to an end. 
“You don't want your son to hear what you're doing in the bedroom with me?” He murmured after a time, face buried on your shoulder after his orgasm. You snorted at it, hand brushing the nape of his neck. 
“I'll have to think of some treats for him after that.” 
------------------------
No one would tell anyone - nor Emma, or Nick, or any of the others. 
He left with a lingering kiss, a soft slap on your ass and a bit on your jaw. Said he would call or text; stay in touch. You didn’t believe it; thought it was one of those empty promises - Benny looked like the guy who could say that to any other girl just to not upset her or make it a thing.
You got it. 
------------------------
“Are you listening?”
“Mm?”
Emma sent you a look - a stern one. You both were resolving a situation involving another case, from other circumstances, but you couldn’t help but catch yourself with the tip of your fingers hovering your lips and blinking dumbly at her; distracted at best, zoning out at worst. 
“Really, what’s going on? What happened?”
Well, if you were being honest, really honest, she would be disappointed. You knew she would. At some point, Emma started to see you as a big ally, someone who could create limits and almost a friend. It was more like a responsibility. Instead of answering anything compromising, though, you rubbed the back of your neck, felt the still partially painful area of the mark hidden by the sleeve of your flannel shirt, and looked away.
“... Had to deal with some stuff this weekend. Sorry, my mind is kinda still there I guess,” You frowned, shaking your head lightly. 
“Huh.”
Emma wasn’t the Gil Grissom type - she could be really passive most of the time, but she used to wear her heart on her sleeves. There would always exist a face, a comment, a glance, a tone. And listen, you’d been working with her for years, you knew her better than she could imagine. It was obvious she was implying; hinting as if she didn’t like just the thought of any other distraction surrounding your personal life and making your job less than pleasant.
“... As I was saying, the prosecution asked for a survey of the photographic evidence of this case and I need you to consult it for me. This is dated in…” Emma opened the folder that she probably had left on your table when she came and checked the information with a pregnant pause. “1987.”
“Case reopening?”
“Yeah. Looks like they got a good hint and the judge signed the whole thing. Cold Cases need an expert to corroborate some evidence.”
“And they couldn't, I don't know, call one of my professors or someone really badass from Harvard?” 
“Why would they?”
“It’s from 1987, Emma. Decades. I don't have half the experience an academic could have for this.”
She gave you another one of those looks - of disapproval. Probably because you had a good point, but mostly because you were going against her decision. Being honest, with all the financial situation around the LASD and the clear preference towards LAPD conquest during the recent years, Cold Cases (from all the other Departments) wouldn’t be in the front line for the best resources. Perhaps the photos were the less important thing about this case. 
“You have a library of science books right behind you and your degree as a resource. Unless you faked it all?” She teased, half serious about keeping you on a straight line about power balances. 
“... No.” You said, defeated. 
“So we don’t have problems.” 
“What about Nick?”
“What about him?”
“Well, it will take time. I’ll need to reschedule a lot of jobs here, including what I’m doing in his case. ”
You knew that, at some instance, Emma and Nick might have been more intolerant towards each other; they’d entered the Department almost together, and knew one another from school times. Maybe that was the reason why most of those dirty looks were directed to him - always using the privilege of being an ‘old friend’ even if they stopped truly talking way too long ago - or because he really didn’t make the effort to be malleable, easy. 
She also had an opinion on what he used to do, his methods - Nick's stuff. She wasn’t happy about it, nor a touch dedicated to the idea of talking with you again, about God knows what, in favor of helping O’Brien. It could go for the other guys, with the fact that they were related to the bad sides of the man.
All that being said, you knew that, in the end, Emma could make an effort to give the consulting to somebody else, argue about how forensic science viewed five or six years as if they were the earliest periods of a career, as a newborn professional. It could ruin the Department's reputation if it was too public a case; you would be humiliated in court.
Still, she held that confident expression, sure of herself. In fact, Emma did something that she knew how to do very well and that you hated: she just ignored the consequences.
“Don’t worry about him.”
And as always, you sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose in another unsuccessful try to just make her… sane. Differently from Gil Grissom, sometimes that heart of her was really spilling out of her sleeves. 
“I just don’t want this responsibility. If this is what’s gonna be-”
“It is.”
“Then you give him the terms. I’m off this discussion.”
She measured you, considered your words with care; probably cursed again for having such a smart mouth inside her Department. Your mother always said this could give you hell sometimes. 
“... Do your job.”
With a small gesture, Emma left the lab with firm and irritated steps. 
------------------------
By ‘doing your job’, she meant taking the said job home. You passed by the Cold Cases floor, caught a talk with one of the detectives involved (Marshall Ballard, a considerable old school) and got three files of evidence - they had another specialist on it, doctor’s degree and all, but the case had something to do with people full of money. Big, traditional family. The type who would be able to reopen a 1987’ crime.
“Just to be sure.”
And honestly, while eyeing the thing during lunch, you could see it wasn’t something out of ordinary. You did frowned once or twice, even muttered a small ‘the fuck’ because damn if the people back then had a weird taste for furnitures. 
“Thinking of redecorating?” 
Benny asked it closer to your ear, enough to make you jump in your seat. When you turned your head, he was grinning, already taking his place beside you and looking at the photos splayed all over the table. For some reason, you put the chopsticks into your bowl of thin rice noodles and looked around the break room.
“Cut it out,” He said, not taking his eyes off the files and even taking one of the photos to look closely. “It’ll hurt your neck.”
“Don’t want anyone to speculate.” 
“Speculate what?” Feigning innocence, Benny raised his head and looked at you with a confused expression. “Takes more than small talk for people to assume we fucked.”
“Of course it does.”
You got back to your lunch, poking the food nonchalantly and not giving him another glance. He shifted a little on his seat, as if to grab your attention - you kept the façade some more, chewing carefully or just touching the photos some more, very focused on making him squirm.
“... What’s that supposed to mean?” Benny broked first, his forearm appearing on your peripheral. 
“Mm?” Brows raised, you were the one looking at him with a fake confusion expression this time. 
“You sounded sarcastic.”
“Because I was being sarcastic,” You said. “Where have you been for the last five months?”
“Oh.” Getting your clue, he nodded his head a few times, then did a check around the room himself before leaning closer. “If I pretend we’re working on something, you’ll act natural with me?”
“I’m not acting natural?”
“You’re ready to run away from here.”
“Well, I already had my fair share with this type of gossip here. Peace would be very appreciated.” 
You didn’t mean to sound so harsh, but it came so spontaneously that it took you a time to notice your own tone. Suddenly, you were visibly impulsive and he looked apologetic - both ready to apologize. Before you could manage something to say, or the mentioned apology, you two heard Lennon getting in with a few other agents, making Benny look behind your back before avoiding his gaze. 
“I thought the Major Crimes had a special break room and shit,” Your colleague teased, enough to make Magalon clench his jaw. “What is he doing here? Inspecting your work?”
“Are you inspecting her work?”
The way the detective came up with such a defensive answer made you snap your eyes at his profile since he was looking Lennon up. You cringed at how the agent scoffed, because it seemed like a surprise to see them both so… Tense towards each other. 
“Just making sure she at least can have her lunch alone.” 
When his hand touched your shoulder in an amicable way, Benny’s eyes drifted straight at the action, as if measuring the way Lennon pressed his fingers there. Well, at first you didn’t notice it as something, but that hand caressed your back and you saw Magalon gazing between you both. 
“I don’t… mind the company, in fact. You know I like to show off sometimes.”
“Sure thing. Just don’t get too used to being around Major Crimes, you know. Some of us can get jealous.”
For those who weren’t used to Lennon's personality, he could be very annoying or even too much of a tease. You didn’t know at what instance that relation with Magalon fell into, but you knew for sure that they both shared a stern glance before your colleague went away. 
Benny side eyed you, the photos… 
He left without a word, without even caring if someone had won that subtle bickering. You were looking at his back retreating away when Lennon said that Magalon wasn’t the worst of them. 
------------------------
“When will the preliminary trial be?” 
“Already happened,” You saw Emma nodding her head. “By the looks of it, they'll have a couple more months of investigation. Being optimistic, of course.” 
“And being pessimistic?”
“A year.” 
Emma nodded again, but this time she sipped on her coffee nonchalantly while leaning against the elevator wall. You could sense her observing the place, as if ready to say something but not knowing how. Even then, you tried not to indulge. 
“Ballard has good instincts, I think he got this.”
“If you say so,” You gave her a side glance. “Perhaps that’s a detective trick I’m unaware of.” 
“I doubt you would be unaware of anything.”
“You would be surprised.” 
It happened a week after the beginning of that day - you seemed and felt tired, unfolding between a parallel case that arose (involving LAPD) and consulting at Cold Cases. If you could think about anything between this, including your considerable intercourse with Benny, you probably wouldn’t feel so stressed or on edge. You weren’t expecting anything - still, looking at Emma’s face gave you the assurance that things would just get worse. 
“I'm finding O'Brien strangely silent.” She said after a long beat of silence, eyeing you upside down. “Any news?”
“No.”
Which was true. After his discreet discovery of the photos, he became distant, as if the case had closed down on issues that didn't involve you. It was a relief.
“Did you tell him about my situation?”
“It’s not like I owe him any explanation,” Emma defended. “But no. Which is weird, he seems to appreciate your efforts a lot.”
Her voice had a lot of that venom, but not enough for you to take it personal. Well, most of the things she or anyone would say to you there should be taken personal, but Emma was Emma, so you knew she used that tone for the sake of proving a point: that Nick was one of a kind. A bitch kind. 
“... Efforts seems to be too specific a word.”
“What would you use?”
“Patience. Or the lack of it.”
She smiled - truly smiled. Which was rare when the topic of the conversation was Nick. Sometimes she would smile for whole different reasons (specially the ones when he made a slight mistake and got reprimanded because of it), but never for a funny snarky comment about his mannerisms. Humored or not, Emma didn’t like to give him any kind of space, even when he wasn’t close. 
“I still have the feeling something is coming our way.” She added with a sour face, eyes on the panel right above your heads. 
It caught you by surprise, so you didn’t hide the shock. With a shrug, she watched the doors opening and held them for you to pass by. 
“Why would it come our way?” You asked when Emma started to walk away to her office, loud enough for the women to listen. She turned, brows raised, then came closer enough to keep it… low.
“Because you were right. Maybe 'efforts' isn't really the right word.”
------------------------
You stared at the woman with seriousness, camera between your fingers while you waited for Mark, the doctor in charge, to finish the explanations of the injuries. You would nod your head every now and then, even if the words didn't make any sense in your head - Isla Clark, 25, mother of two and with two feet deep into drug traffic shit couldn’t look at anyone in the room. 
Different from the first informant, the one who died, she seemed to have some personal motives that involved the children's father, but you didn’t enter in detail because of the circumstances. She had been in close contact with the police since the Long Beach homicides and-No, not with the police. With Nick. She was Nick's informant. For over two years.
Glancing at the doorway, you saw him there, watching with a blank face and crossed arms. Isla averted her gaze when she noticed, eyeing her own wrist handcuffed to the gurney. 
Back then, when the first person died and Nick almost took you out of your divorce audience, he mentioned something about you being able to handle it. From all the mentors you’ve had through your life, from your father to teachers to professors to… Emma, per se, everyone had one thing to say: you knew how to handle any shit. If you felt bad at certain types of cases, if you cried because of them, no one ever knew, probably because it almost never happened. 
With Isla, you didn’t feel sad - you were angry. Angry with Nick, because he was being careless and clearly obsessed with one more moment of glory. She had dropped the kids off at school when she took a lucky shot in the leg and an even more miraculous one in the side of her neck. 
“Well, okay. I'm going to need you to leave so I can take the pictures privately.” 
From the cops inside the room to the nurses and the doctor, you saw from your peripheral vision that everyone left. You stood there, beside the gurney, taking the equipment with care and a passive patience - for the sake of that fucking moment. 
“You too, Nick.”
“Me?” He asked as if it wasn’t obvious. 
“I wouldn't ask for privacy if I was going to leave you there watching everything.”
Beside him, you could see Benny too. He measured your stern expression and averted his gaze to the floor, murmuring something about grabbing coffee or talking with the witnesses. With hesitancy, O’Brien retrieved himself, but not before glancing at Isla one last time - the air was suddenly different… not in a regular way, tho. 
Huh. 
“I'm going to need to photograph all the wounds, is that okay?”
She nodded. 
“If it hurts somewhere, let me know.”
Again, a nod. 
Back in college, during your time as an intern, you saw similar cases, and it used to be the same way every time. The women, most often young, with an empty and detached look, who did not allow herself to be observed without feeling ashamed. You hated the feeling. Even though Isla wasn't in that parameter, the perception you had was that she could easily blend into this type of tragedy. 
You didn’t say anything more than small excuses or apologies when she hissed at the accidental touch in a sensitive area. This lasted half an hour.
“We’re done,” You announced, hands gripping the camera strap. 
“Mm-hm.”
Well, looking now, pretty closely, she really looked like… 
Huh. 
Without another word, you grabbed your stuff and left, just in time to see Nick and Benny looking curiously in your direction. If they knew you were mad, you couldn’t tell - by the time you started to walk away through the corridor, though, you’d heard them following your steps. 
“What do you think?” O’Brien asked by your left side.  
“I take it you already talked with Dr. Mark?” You answered, feet fast and tone obnoxious. 
“Perhaps you have another opinion.”
“He’s a doctor, I’m forensics. Nothing I can say right now could doubt his diagnosis. If you want a conclusive result, I’ll tell you exactly what he said: Isla had two close range shootings.” 
You heard O’Brien’s sigh with every word, as if he was being tortured with the idea of Isla being there, almost unalive, without a chance to be back in the game. For some reason, that made you even more angry. 
“When you think ballistics will-”
“It's becoming a trail of blood, Nick.” You couldn’t even recognize your tone, nor the way you stared right at his face. Everyone stopped abruptly, you staring at O’Brien and Benny beside the scene, watching. “Don’t expect me to have good updates about your leadership when they take the case from you.”
“Listen, you don’t-”
“No, you listen! You fucking listen, O’Brien, there’s a huge difference between free violence from drug gangs and you being incompetent. It's people's lives at stake here.” There was a finger pointed to his chest. 
You could feel Benny getting closer, sense the 6’1 of pure annoyance radiating from Nick’s and going straight at you. 
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” He said through gritted teeth. 
“So explain to me. Go on, Nick, tell me I’m seeing another person here in less than three months.” You lowered your voice just enough to make him retrieve. “And you better have a good answer because you’re not giving me the best expectations here.”
“I don’t owe you any explanation.”
“... No, you don’t.”
The smile you gave him was bitter, full of sarcasm and a particular rage. 
“That’s all you are, a cop without rules to follow or explanations to give. That's how people perceive guys like you and the… I don't know, Merrimen, you're so alike. I bet if you put your record side by side, just like that…” You raised your open palms in front of his face, putting them side by side. “The only difference would be the fucking badge.”
With that, you passed by him - purposely bumping into his body - and headed out of that corridor. If you saw Benny preventing himself from going after you, it didn’t matter. You were so fucking pissed. 
------------------------
You couldn’t sleep that night; didn’t for the next two or three days. No one mentioned the episode in the corridor and you suspected that if Emma knew about it, she decided not to make it a big deal. She gave you a way-too-long tap on the shoulder the day after - the closer you got to know that she knew, like a ‘told you so’. 
The guys avoided you as much as they could - taking Nick’s side, probably. Just as the beginning, the only person you didn’t see was Benny, but you tried not to think about him as well, aware of the fact that you had fun, the type that could create bounds not so strong than what he used to have with his fucking boss. 
“You look like trash.”
It took you by surprise, his sudden appearance in the parking lot. You were in the middle of another shift, dark circles under your eyes and physically tired, so the comment had no effect on your condition. You raised your eyebrows, shrugged.
“I look how I feel.”
Benny nodded. 
“Taking work home?” He pointed at the files below your arm.
“... Something like that.” It was your turn to nod. “Just double-checking, you know?”
“Got it.”
For a moment, no one said anything. You thought he would put an end to the conversation, go back to wherever he was going, so you opened the back door of your car to organize your things there. Imagine your surprise, when, out of nowhere, Benny materialized by your side and held the door firmly with his hand. 
“Did you have lunch yet?”
“What?”
“Lunch. I’m half sure that that Greek restaurant is open mid-day.”
If you had it in you, the first question that would come out would be ‘why would I want to have lunch with you?’, but given the circumstances, all you did was stare at those dark orbits staring fiercely at your face. 
“You’re not the one who owes me an expensive meal, Benny.” You rolled your eyes, a small smirk playing on your lips.
“Oh no, I wouldn’t dare to touch that nerve. Consider this a… gift. From friend to friend,” He gestured between you two with a smile plastered on his face. “What do you think?” 
You could say no - maybe you should. All things considered, you were tired, not in the mood and conscious of the fact that you weren’t on good terms with Nick to go fraternize with Benny like that. But hey, Benny wasn’t Nick, right? He was… Benicio. And if you remembered right, you two fraternized pretty well not so long before. 
“You’ll pay.”
“Sure thing, gatita.”
While walking with him to his car, you considered that a bad idea again. Benny was quiet and having enough common sense, he didn’t try to bring up any topic - nor the thing with Isla, or the thing with you. He wasn’t one to curse the traffic or talk about the weather just for small talk; when you both noticed that the said restaurant didn’t, in fact, open mid-day, it led to a small number of curses and a firm apology. 
“There’s a Burger King not so far away from here.”
Which led, then, to the comfortable scene you set yourself in: both you and Benny sat on the bench of a park, both of your legs crossed and body turned to him. Again, no one really talked - you shared the fries and the only moment of true interaction came when he grabbed your fingers playfully once and that was it for quite some time. You wouldn’t admit out loud, but the idea of being there, away from all of that crisis and stress and crazy work hours… It calmed you. 
The questions never stopped inside your head, though. You should expect a reaction from him, something related to the way you spitted Nick’s incompetence on his face. For you, Major Crimes had that type of bond, camaraderie, the protectiveness you saw on the other guys; it made you wonder how Magalon positioned himself in the middle of it all unconsciously. 
So you surrendered to your inner desires: you said something about it. 
“When I said Nick was incompetent…” You offered. “I wasn’t talking about you or any of the other guys.”
When Benny turned to you with a frown, no longer holding that relaxed expression on his face, you regretted ever mentioning the situation. Ashamed, you lowered your eyes to the half empty cup of diet soda in your hands. 
“I didn’t think you were.” You saw him getting closer just a touch, enough to make himself seen. That was probably a mannerism of his. 
“The others disagree.”
“Who are the others?”
“Well, the guys,” He snorted at your statement, so you raised your head and saw him with nothing but amusement on his face. “What?”
“You say it like we’re a pack or something.”
“You are not?” The teasing in your tone didn’t pass unnoticed by him, which made you smirk. 
“I’m not willing to accept this title.”
A pregnant silence followed the small laughs you two shared, so when the moment died, you stared away, watching the people around the park and feeling the shame start to settle in your guts. 
“... Nick is pissed.” Benny got your attention abruptly. He shrugged at your raised eyebrows and surprised expression. “I try not to… You know, interfere a lot.”
“You would be in your right if you did. He’s your buddy.”
“But we both know it’s better to pretend than to start an argument with the guy,” He stated, measuring you up and down. “Or just one of us.”
Instead of giving him a smart answer as you planned, you just turned your eyes back to the park, sipping on the soda to avoid his intense gaze. Those motherfuckin eyes.
“Did you know her? Like, in person?” 
Benny didn’t say anything right away, not until you looked at him. 
“Saw her in pictures once, then at the hospital. It’s Nick’s stuff.”
“You all have this?”
“This what?”
“Stuff. Specific informants or whatever.”
“It’s what makes every detective, basically. People from your childhood neighborhood, old friends from school or first jobs… Nothing odd,” He shook his head. “It bothered you?”
You sighed, thinking and reconsidering before expressing exactly what gave you the strength to react like that back then. It was like having a big warning sign in front of your eyes or Emma’s voice alerting of the drama it could cause if you told Benny. 
Fuck it. 
“Isla looks like Debbie. A lot.”
Magalon tilted his head to the side, studying your hesitant expression. You couldn’t read right away what he was looking for or what this information did to his mind, but then you saw him biting his bottom lip to prevent a smile. 
“Fuck, you really are smart.” 
You frowned. 
“Wha-What do you mean?”
“Did she tell you something? Or you just connected the dots?” He pressed. “I’m sure you did it all by yourself, seems like your type.”
“Benny, what the fuck?”
“... Nick is fucking her. Or was, I don’t know anymore.”
It came like that, easy like… like something easy. You blinked dumbly at him, waited for the guy to laugh it off, say it was a joke, but nothing came. 
“... And this is… not odd? For detectives?” 
“Depends on the detective. I don’t know exactly what made them start this, but we found out one day and it all started to leave us on edge. It was… weird.” 
Perhaps Emma knew, it could explain her behavior on the elevator the other day. Perhaps, going even more deep, Nick was doing it before divorcing Debbie officially, which showed you a considerably different version of the guy, one that made you frown because of obvious personal reasons. Well, you weren’t dumb - you knew about their escapades, the strip clubs, the drugs (at a safe distance), things that were already a statement towards certain cops around the Department. From your point of view, you wondered how much of this stuff Debbie dealt until finally finding out about Isla, if that was the case. 
And honestly, you didn’t even need a proper answer - Benny had this contemplative ugly face, staring at his own feet. 
“So Nick is pissed because I told him he’s the dick we all know he is?”
“Well, he’s not an exception in this line of work. He’s the rule.” 
“And you include yourself in it?”
There wasn’t hesitation in his answer. 
“I do.” 
------------------------
Taglist (no pressure)
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kilojulietsierra · 2 years
Text
Self Defense - (Benny 'Borracho' Magalon x OFC)
Watched Den of Thieves this weekend and this is what happened.
Borracho gets a call from his wife that no husband would ever want to receive and handles it exactly like you would expect.
Benny "Borracho" Magalon x wife!OFC
Warnings - 18+, Canon typical violence, attempted assault, murder-self defense, corrupt cop husband and his friends, brief mention of trauma anxiety/PTSD, little smutty at the end for fun
(Barely proofread or edited cuz it's late, I'm tired and I do what I want)
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"Seriously, you're stopping here?"
"Yes! They have the cheapest gas." Jeni pulled into the 7/11 on the corner and whipped her jeep into the only functioning gas pump.
Her friend scoffed, "Okay, I'll be sure to tell the cops that when they're taking my statement."
"Quit being so dramatic, we grew up in a worse neighborhood than this." She put the jeep in park and grabbed her wallet to dig out a credit card.
"Yeah… then we got the fuck out…" She looked around at the garbage and graffit littering the lot. "If I get mugged because you're a cheap ass I am, literally, going to kill you."
Jeni laughed as she kicked her door open, "Okay, noted." She was still smiling as she ran her card and started gassing up.
"Hey, Marta wants to know if we want to meet up for lunch?"
Leaning back through the open door Jeni nodded, "Sure, where at?" Thas gas pumped tripped and she squeezed the handle twice more before removing it and slamming it back into the pump. Jeni climbed into the drivers seat and slid her credit card back into her wallet. "Ohh, you know what sounds good…"
Before she could finish her thought a hand ripped the passenger door open and drug her friend out by the ponytail.
"Get out of the fucking car!" behind her she felt another pair of hands grabbing at her neck, shoulder, arm, whatever he could reach.
On some sore of primal, fight or flight, response Jeni shoved against her attacker, struggling to get free. DIfficult in the cab of the jeep. FInally her left arm free she leaned away and had a split second to see the chrome of a pistol in his other hand, before she smashed her elbow into his face.
He staggered back a step, one hand clutching his bleeding nose and the other raising the pistol.
Faintly, over the adrenaline pounding in her ears, Jeni could hear her friend crying and cussing somewhere outside the jeep. Trying her best not to panic Jeni reached under the dash of the jeep where her husband had insisted on mounting a magnetic quickdraw mount for a handgun she never imagined she'd have to use. She hated it when he was right.
Hand shaking she took the pistol by the grip, pushed it forward simultaneously chambering a round and removing it from the mount. She aimed on instinct, swinging the muzzle of the pistol towards the carjackers midsection and squeezed the trigger. One, two. One, two. Just like her husband had taught her. She flinched with each shot, fighting to keep her eyes open, and then jumped in fear and pain as the carjackers own gun went off as he fell to the ground. A searing pain ripping through her leg.
Eyes burning, ears ringing and hand shaking she stumbled out of the car and yelled, "Carissa!". Tripping over the carjackers bleeding, moaning body she rounded the jeep to see her laying on the ground, hands over her head crying, and the other attacker running across the street to disappear around a corner.
Jeni's teeth were chattering, her whole body trembling as she grabbed her friends arm, "Hey, hey, look at me. Are you okay." She clinched her jaw against the pain and the clacking of her teeth. When her friend looked up, terrified, and nodded. Jeni forced in an attempt at a deep breath. Her eyes were watering, or she was about to cry, she couldn't tell which. "Hey, go inside… go inside right now and, and call someone. Call 911, okay, now, go right now."
As her friend ran for the front door of the gas station Jeni tried for another deep breath. "Ohhh shit!" She continued to mutter curses under breath as she fought against the shaking. Carefully, limping, she wakled around the back of the jeep again and peeked at the man that had tried to grab her.
He wasn't dead, but he wasn't a threat anymore either.
Trembling she stepped over him, and reached for her phone on the dash, her other hand still holding her pistol. She couldn't believe how bad her hands were shaking as she tried to make the call.
~~~~
"This shit… this is shit we need to delegate."
"You gonna tell Nick no?" Borracho looked sideways at his partner.
Tony rolled his eyes and mumbled under his breath, "Wish he'd get over this moody attitude shit. Gettin' real fuckin' old."
Borracho noded, staring out the windshield as he slouched back further in the driver seat. He fucking hated surveilance. He had just lit his second cigarette when his phone vibrated in his lap. Cigarette in his mouth he took his sunglasses off with one hand and picked up his phone with the other.
"Hey babe." He flicked the ash of his cigarette out the window.
"Benny. Benny I need you."
When he heard the way she sounded, Jeni's voice trembling and almost on the verge of tears, he jumped into action. He tossed the cigarette out the window and turned over the ignition on the SUV. "Where are you?" He had the transmission in drive before she even had the chance to respond.
Jeni was breathing heavy, he could tell something had her shaken up. She told him where she was. "I think I'm in trouble Benny. Hurry, please."
"I'm coming." He weaved through traffic, driving one handed and ignoring the confused look on Tony Z's face. "What happened?"
"I… I… I think I killed someone." It sounded like she was choking back a sob. "And, I'm hurt, like it hurts really bad."
"Fuck, fuck, fuck." He cussed under his breath as he ran a redlight, "Z, get dispatch to send units and rescue. 7/11 on Tullson and Amistad."
Z didn't question it, just hit the switch for the red and blue lights and called it in.
"Babe listen, how bad are you hurt?"
Her voice trembled again as she tried to breath, "I don't know, I don't know, I'm bleeding and it hurts B."
"I know. I'm coming, I'm coming. Listen close okay; units are on there way. I need you to do two things. Okay?"
"Mhmm."
"They're goin' to detain you, okay. So take the mag out of your gun, clear the chamber and set it on the ground okay."
"Okay…"
"Then keep pressure on the bleeding and don't do or say shit till I get there."
"Hurry B."
"I am."
"Local PD is already rolling." Tony cut in as he grabbed for the oh shit handle with the hand not holding the radio.
"Son of a bitch."
~
By the time Borracho got there two cruisers and an ambulance where on the scene. He slammed the SUV in park and jumped out. He saw Jeni's jeep still sitting by the pump, doors open, the puddle of blood on the asfault and a body bag being lifted onto a gurney.
Z was right behind him as they walked under the police tape. Borracho headed towards the patrol car that had obviously been the first on. He grabbed his wifes pistol off the hood, replaced the mag and shoved it into the back of his jeans next to where his service weapon was holstered. On the other side of the car Z grabbed Jeni and Carissas phones and a ziploc baggie full of spent casings which he shoved in his pocket.
Two officers approached them and Borracho pointed, "Handle that."
Z cut them off, "Boys, sorry but, this is now an LASD scene," He patted one of the officers on the chest, deftly swiping the girls IDs from where they were tucked in the LEO's vest and pocketing them. "Gonna need you all to stand down."
Meanwhile Borracho headed straight for the ambulance across the lot where he could see Jeni sitting in the back, hands cuffed and a bloody bandage wrapped around her left thigh.
"Yo, Magalon!" Another local LEO approached him, "What's your wife doin' with an unregistered Glock in her car?"
Borracho, without missing a beat, reached for the handcuff key in the officers vest and walked past him, "What was yours doin' at the neighbors house last night?"
His wife was clearly in shock and it took her a second to register his approach, not really seeing it was him until he was kneeling in front of her and unlocking the handcuffs on her wrist. "Hey mami, look at me." He gripped her uninjured thigh with one hand and tossed the cuffs aside with the other, "You good?"
Once her eyes focused on him fully she started to tear up, "Benny…"
"I know baby, I know." He stroked her thigh up and down in a strong, repetetive motion. "You're okay. I got you." He took her face in his other hand and tipped it from side to side. Evaluating the sight brusing a scattered scratches from the struggle.
She leaned forward awkwardly and wrapped her arms around his neck, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry! I didn't know what to do… and… I don't know, I panicked and…"
"The fuck you did." He squeezed her tight, kissing her temple, "You didn't panic, you did exactly what you were supposed to do."
"Benny, I killed somebody!" She sobbed it into the side of his neck, hands fisting in the fabric of his shirt.
"Yeah, well fuck that motherfucker." Benny rubbed at her back trying to calm her down. "You did so good Baby, I'm so proud of you."
This time her sob was mixed with something of a laugh and Borracho took a deep breath. He was getting her back.
Her breath shuddered, and she sniffed loudly, "That's so messed up."
Borracho shrugged, giving her another tight squeeze before pulling back enough to look her in the eye, "It's the truth." He stared intently until she met his gaze fully, "Take a deep breath for me now, yeah?" He breathed deep and exhaled as she copied him, "Good girl." He stood up to his full height again and held his hands down to her, "Let's get you out of here."
He took her weight easily as she stood up and leaned into him, favoring her wounded leg. "I don't think I can walk."
The words were barely out of her mouth before he had one arm around her shoulders and the other scooping up her legs. He ignored the EMTs calling after him and strode right past the LEOs as he carried his wife, bridal style, back to their unmarked SUV. "Z, man, you got this?" Borracho called as he settled Jeni into the passenger seat. He shut the door and walked quickly around the front of the SUV.
Tony met him halfway, "Yeah bro, boys are on the way." He gestured vaguely to the scene behind him, "Shit never happened, we got this. Go take care of your girl."
Without another word they bumped fists and Borracho climbed back into the SUV, throwing it in reverse and tearing out of the parking lot, ignoring all safety laws as he sped to the closest, reliable hospital.
"Benny," Jenis voice was quiet and he barely heard it over the roar of the revving engine and the sirens.
"Hmm?" He kept his eyes on the rode but easily found her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.
"I'm sorry." She took a deep breath and winced against a stab of pain.
"What you sorry for?" He stroked his thumb over the back of her hand. Oddly calm as he sped through another red light.
When she didn't answer right away he glanced at her, relieved to find her eyes opening and with a small smile on her face.
"Sorry for… giving you a hard time, calling you paranoid."
He smiled as he swerved into oncoming traffic to pass a slow moving box truck. "Yeah?" He continued to rub his thumb over the back of her hand, relaxing them both. "That mean you gonna start doing what I say?"
Jeni laughed, "Not a chance."
Benny laughed with her, raised her hand to his lips and gave it a soft kiss, "Didn't think so."
~
Jeni's head was foggy when she woke up and it took a second for her eyes to focus. Though her vision never really cleared 100%.
"Hey mami,"
She smiled and blinked her eyes quickly, trying to clear the fog away. She felt a pressure on her right thigh and turned to that side, eyes settling on Benny.
"There she is. How you feel?" He was standing next to her bed, a hospital bed she realized, with a cup of coffee in his hand and his shirt untucked, sleeves rolled up past his elbows. He still wore his gun and badge on his belt.
Jeni thought hard for a moment, harder than she thought necesarry, "Loopy… tired…."
Benny nodded as he sat down on the edge of her bed, still rubbing a comforting hand up an down her thigh through the cheap hospital blanket, "They put you on the good meds, knocked you out good."
"Hmm," Jeni let her eyes fall closed, enjoying the feel of his hand stroking back and forth, back and forth. She could feel the way his callouses caught against the material and it made her overworked nerves tingle. Fighting her eyes back open she chuckled to herself.
"What's so funny?" Borracho was smiling when he asked.
"Don't tell Nick," She laughed a little harder as she raised one tingly arm, "He'll confiscate them." She made airquotes with her fingers and chuckled again.
Borracho laughed, "I won't." He continued to stroke her leg, "You'll share with me though right?"
Jeni grinned, "Mhmmm." Her mind wandering to some less than descent thoughts.
She nodded and then flinched slightly, her eyes jumping a little wider, "Benny, where's Carissa? Is she okay?"
Borracho puased, gave her thigh another reassuring squeaze, "She's okay babe. Tony took her home. She's shook up but, she's okay."
Jeni nodded, gave a sigh of relief, then giggled again.
"Now what?" Borracho smiled as he straightened up.
"Z took her home?"
"Mhmm."
She giggled again, "She's going to jump. his. bones."
Borracho snorted out a laugh, "What're you talking about?"
"She's had the hots for him since, like, that BBQ we had last summer." Jeni continued to giggle, "They're totally gonna bang."
Her husband laughed again as he stood back up, "You really are loopy." He set his coffee down on the table and kissed her forehead, "I'll be right back, nurses told me to grab them when you woke up." Borracho was smoking a cigarette outside when Nicks truck pulled up. Nick, Gus and Murph approached, Gus with a brown paper bag in his hand. "Hey man, how's she doing?" "Out of surgery, took her down for some more x-rays about an hour ago." He took a long drag from his cigarette. "She's alright though. Considering." He took another drag, letting the smoke roll out of his nostrils, "We good?" Nick shrugged, "Who gives a shit about a gangbanger offin' another gangbanger right?" Borracho nodded, his phone ringing in his jeans pocket. He answered it and hung up shortly, "She's back, wanna come say hi?"
~
An hour later Benny was sitting on the bed with his feet crossed and Jeni laying back against his chest and the other three scattered around the room. Nick was spinning back and forth on the doctors stool, Gus was sitting in the chair with his feet kicked up on the end of the bed and Murph was leaning against the door finishing the last of the tacos Gus had smuggled in.
Nick was laughing at his own story when one of the nurses poked her head in, "Hey, it's technically past visiting hours, so could you guys just.. keep it down a little bit?"
Nick spun around in the chair, "Of course darlin', I'll get these knuckle heads to keep it quiet."
Jeni rolled her eyes. She had noticed there had been more and more nurses 'popping in' (to check her vitals, redo her bandage, ask if she needed anything) since the boys showed up with their tight shirts, and visible guns and badges.
Before they could get too rowdy again, there was another knock on the door. This time it was Tony, guiding Carissa in ahead of him. "I'm impressed you guys are stil here," He stepped in the room and shook hands with the guys, "Had to flash my badge half a dozen times just to get up here."
Carissa went straight to Jeni's side while Borracho and Tony shook hands. "Jen, oh my God, are you sure you're okay?"
"Yeah, yeah, I'm good. Leg hurts and I'm tired but, I'm good." She squeezed Benny's hand where he held it, arm wrapped around her shoulders. "How about you?"
"Scared shitless, but yeah. Tony took me home, stayed with me all afternoon."
Behind them Murph muttered, "I bet he did." and earned a round of chuckles from everyone except Tony who looked at the floor and Carissa who was trying not to blush.
Aside from the fact she had just had a bullet removed from her leg, Jeni was enjoying herself. It felt a little bit like the old days, before the darkness had really settled in over all of them. She felt Benny laughing, the sound vibrating through her and the feeling of his hand squeezing hers again snapped her out of her thoughts.
Benny held her tighter for a second and pressed his lips against her ear, "Want me to get rid of 'em?"
She shook her head imperceipibly and settled back, deeper into his embrace, happy to stay up all night as long as her pain meds kept working and everyone kept laughing.
~
It had been a month since she'd been released from the doctor mandated physical therapy but she had taken the advice of her doctor and her therapist and continued to exercise. So far that just meant long-ish walks and yoga, but she was walking without the cane most days now so she counted that as a win.
Today Carissa had joined her for an 8am class at her favorite studio and they had just finished up. They were walking out the front door, Jeni limping slightly after the workout but feeling pretty good, when her phone buzzed in her bag.
She smiled and answered, "Hey B."
"Hey," Borracho sounded tired, "Done with class?"
"Mhmm, right on time."
She smiled, "What're you up to?"
"Swinging by the house for a shower and change of clothes."
Jeni bit her lip, "How much time you have?"
"As long as it takes."
"See you in a bit." She was smiling when she hung up and Carissa was already shaking her head.
"Guess we'll get breakfast later?" She knew what the call and the look on her friends face meant.
"Tomorrow?"
"Sounds good." Carissa was already texting on her phone as the girls headed to their cars.
Jeni turned and yelled over her shoulder, "Tell Tony hi for me!"
Carissa turned around and gave her friend the finger, "Shut up!"
~
When she got home Benny's truck wasn't in the driveway and she didn't see any of the usual unmarked department vehicles around. She parked her jeep and headed inside.
She had just dumped her bag in the closet and kicked out of her shoes when she heard the front door open and close. Her heart raced for half a second, anxious that it may not be her husband. A symptom of what had happened to her. But then he heard his boots hit the floor and Benny call out, "You better not have taken those leggins off yet!"
Jeni bit her lip and smiled, her anxiety turning into something else now that she knew it was him. She looked over her shoulder as he came through the bedroom door. "Not yet. Wanna help?"
SHe turned to face him and watched him drop his gear bag by the door and jerk the holster and badge off his belt.
He didn't answer, just walked towards her with his hands out, reaching towards her hips.
As soon as he was within reach she wrapped her arms around his neck and sighed when he took hold of her waist and tugged her against him. His lips immediatly falling on the side of her neck. Kissing and nipping his way from her collarbone up to the sensitive spot behind her ear. "Missed you, beautiful." His hands fell lower, each grabbing a handul of her ass.
"Missed you too." She sighed, one hand digging into the hair at the back of his neck.
He groaned softly and pressed her tighter against him, "How's the leg?" HIs right hand slid down, ghosting over the spot on her thigh where she had been shot.
"Little sore." She scratched her nails over the back of his neck and angled her face to reach his lips.
"Think a hot shower would help?" He asked the question against her lips before he kissed her.
Jeni smiled into the kiss, pressing herself closer, "Probably."
His hands were already pealing her shirt off and groping her chest through her sports bra, before removing it as well.
"Long night papi?" Her fingers traveled from the back of his neck, over his shoulders and down the buttons of his shirt. Undoing them one by one until she was pushing it off his shoulders and reavealing the muscles underneath.
Benny sighed into her hair as he grabbed the waistband of her leggings and peeled them down, "Long fuckin' week." He grabbed her ass again, this time skin on skin, and held her tight as she shimmied them the rest the way off. "Feel like I haven't seen you at all."
"Trust me, I know." Jeni drug her fingers down his chest, over his stomach, briefly tracing over the ink there before settling on his belt buckle.
He stopped her hands with his own, his belt and fly hanging open, "C'mere." Benny stooped slightly and grabbed her by the back of her thighs, careful of her still sometimes tender scar, to pick her up.
It was so easy. For her to wrap her arms and legs around her husband and let him carry her across the room. When he laid them both down on the bed, settling over top her and kissing her mour thouroughly, Jeni questioned, "What about the shower?"
Borracho groaned as his wifes hands slid over his back and down to his sides, pushing at the waistband of his jeans. He dugs his fingers into her hip as he pulled her bottom lip into his mouth and bit it carefully. Still ignoring her question he kicked out of his jeans and settled himself between her legs. Her nails drug down his back before climbing back up where she clung to his shoulders. Kissing his way from her mouth to her ear he slid into her warm, welcoming center and groaned, "Fuck you first, then shower."
Jeni moaned as he bottomed out inside her and arched up off the bed as they began to move together. Borracho was careful with her leg but nothing else. She knew the way she was clawing at him and the way he was pounding into her she was going to be sore in more ways than one.
She also knew life was short and they made the most of their time together. Now more than ever, she understood.
~
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