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arcielee · 1 year

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Interview With a Writer

Here is part 6 of my Interview With a Writer series with the super talented @sapphire-writes ♥ Thank you so much for taking the time to answer my questions and keep this going!

You can go to this post to review the other amazing authors I have spoken with ♥ Just some BTS of the talented minds on Tumblr and ao3.

Name: Sapphire-Writes

Story: Down in Flames

Paring: modern Aegon x Reader & Aemond x Reader

Rating/Warning: Explicit, sexual themes, 18+. Pay heed to the warnings for each chapter, it gets messy.

So, when did you start writing? I started writing probably when I was about 9 or 10 years old. I did creative writing throughout my teens but never delved into fanfiction until now!

What was your first fan fiction story? My first fanfiction was for HOTD. I started writing my Aemond x OC story A Song of Flames & Fury and that was the first writing I ever published on here!

Where did the plot for Down in Flames come from? I always loved the idea of a band story, and back in 2018 I was reading A LOT of fanfiction for Bohemian Rhapsody because Roger Tyler had me in a chokehold. So some of the inspiration definitely came from that, but mostly I was just curious exploring the Dance of Dragons in a modern setting.

I feel like bands are stuffed full of drama and just the perfect setting for this story. I definitely knew I wanted the Reader and Aemond together, and I knew the conflict would be around Jace and Luke leaving to support Rhaenyra's side. I knew there would be sneaking around and stuff but other than that I sort of went with the flow, figured out the characters. There were a couple things I had in mind originally that didn't end up working out/making it in.

Do you want to share any of the "cut scenes" or ideas that did not make it in DIF? So originally I planned that Jace would actually cheat on Baela, following the "Sara Snow" plotline. In part 1 that's who offers to buy him a drink at the bar. But I liked them too much together and wanted Jace to be a complete good guy to root for.

Explain your interpretation of Aemond. What drives him? Why is he the way he is in DIF? Aemond is a lot like our show canon Aemond in DIF. I see him a lot as a duty driven guy, trying to keep the band together, supporting Aegon even though he's this vain, self centered front man in the band. I think what drives DIF Aemond is this sense of responsibility, that he can't let his family down no matter what, even if it makes him unhappy.

You could sense she wanted the best for Aegon. ♥ She definitely did. And she realizes in the end that its not about her, that its about him, and we love that growth!

Was there anything in specific that inspired your Reader portrayal? I think I definitely was a little self indulgent, as I feel always happens as an author. I really wanted the Reader to be this person who wanted to save Aegon, she really wants to help him get better and that's just not how it works out. So definitely some savior complex stuff, but I also wanted to balance it with her being really human, if that makes sense? Like she wants to leave him, she knows she deserves better but she loves him at the same time!

Do you feel your Reader compliments Aemond well? I think in the beginning of their relationship her fire really matches his, and as they start their relationship, I think she really softens Aemond's edges. I think she really drives Aemond crazy because she does what she wants and it’s all the choices Aemond would never want her to make, like dating Aegon!

Do you think you'll return to this HotD AU? Maybe a sequel? I will definitely return! I have some drabbles/one-shots planned because I know people are curious about this group. I just really wanted to wrap the main story before burnout occurred and while it was so clear-cut.

What is next for our author? Right now I'm working on a couple things! I have a modern!Aegon story Thin Ice, I have to finish my Aemond x OC, I still have An Ego Thing ongoing and now a new Daemon x Rhaenyra x Reader The Au Pair!

Do you have a personal favorite story you'd like to share? (Yours or other?) My personal favorite story I've written I think is Dragon's Bane (it’s still unfinished). As for someone else’s, I'd have to say Burning Jasmine by @scalyfreaks. It’s an Aegon x OC and its so incredible!

#iwaw #iwaw6 #interview with a writer #ongoing series #aemond targaryen x reader #bts of their brilliance

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lionydoorin · 4 months

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orchid, sage, papyrus for the get to know me ask?

HI omg thank u for sending them!! sorry it took me so long yesterday was Hectic LMAO

orchid — what's a song you consider to be perfect?

right off the bat the answer is queen's "bohemian rhapsody" because it Is the greatest song to ever be made. period.

sage — what 'medium' of art (poetry, music, fiction, paintings, statues etc.) is the most touching to you? why do you think that is?

honestly, all kinds of art are touching for me and it generally depends on the content itself. but video media in general, movies in particular, are the ones that tend to move me the most. i usually don't get very emotional even when the media in specific is Very touching, but it's easy for me to cry with movies. definitely because it's a mixture of very good storytelling with an amazing score on the background. so, in a way, it's a bit of everything LMAO

papyrus — if you put your 'on repeat' playlist on shuffle, what's the first song that comes up? what do you like about it / associate it with?

"vicious" by sabrina carpenter was the first one that came up! i recently became a fan of hers and i just love the vibes of the entire album LMAO

get to know me!

#ask games #starstaiined #omg that was so fun and thank you again!!'

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iluvchanniesposts · 2 years

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tagged by @spicydoesntknow

Name:

don’t feel comfortable displaying it here heh

Sign:

capricorn baby

Height:

5’2/5’3

Time:

3:56pm

Birthday:

30.12.2002

Favourite artist/band:

kiko bun, ub40, bob marley, stray kids, childish gambino, tyler the creator, harry styles, frank ocean, kanye west, kendrick lamar, doja cat, megan thee stallion, nirvana, ac/dc, elvis, madness, queen, the weeknd

Last movie:

bohemian rhapsody

Last show:

the walking dead

When I created this blog:

late march?

What I post:

purely fluffy fan fiction

Other blogs:

@chvnssecret 18+

Do I get asks:

i have so many to get through

Average hours of sleep:

7-10 hours

What i’m wearing:

nirvana shirt and black underwear

Dream job:

zookeeper

Dream trip:

australia ever since i was a little girl

Favorite songs:

me and your mama - childish gambino

i always knew - kiko bun

silent cry - stray kids

too many more to choose from

No pressure tags:

@liliumo-o @hanjisick @hanjiesgf @where-is-innie @americanokisses @suckerformilkshake

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missmako-chan · 1 year

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•Bohemian Rhapsody turns people into fictional characters from the properties they enjoy

•Pink Dark Boy is a work of fiction written by Rohan

•Rohan takes inspiration from real events that he was around for or read about using Heaven's Door

With this in mind, please imagine someone in Morioh who is also a Pink Dark Boy fan turning into him and speedrunning the entirety of Part 4

#jjba #jojo #stone ocean spoilers #stone ocean #Rohan's house burns down a second time and he is SEETHING

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freddie-mercury-rising · 1 year

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I posted 2,837 times in 2022

That's 1,437 more posts than 2021!

1,281 posts created (45%)

1,556 posts reblogged (55%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@a-froger-epic

@idontknowhowthisworked

@just-a-poor-boy-queen

@quirkysubject

@bambirex

I tagged 876 of my posts in 2022

#freddie mercury - 472 posts

#wild thoughts - 116 posts

#fan fiction - 104 posts

#fan fic - 90 posts

#roger taylor - 78 posts

#brian may - 65 posts

#queen - 62 posts

#queen band - 59 posts

#jimercury - 50 posts

#froger - 40 posts

Longest Tag: 76 characters

#shouldn’t be that hard to conceptualize that human relationships are complex

My Top Posts in 2022:

You know what I love about Freddie Mercury?

He was a genius musician who continues to unite people through his music, even thought he’s been gone thirty years. His voice still stirs emotion in me, my 94 year old grandmother, my 9 year old daughter, and millions of people around the world.

Freddie composed songs right from his heart and gave every single bit of himself onstage to entertain people. He was one of the rare human beings who changed the world through his art. He would probably scoff and try and downplay his contribution, but he has touched more lives than anyone will ever know.

This man composed poetry in the form of songs—like Bohemian Rhapsody and Somebody to Love—and gave us his heart and soul when he belted them out onstage, laying himself bare for us. He invited us into his heart and he gave us the best seat at the table—even if it was just for those precious moments during concerts.

He brings us joy, makes us feel less alone, makes us dance, makes us laugh, and even saves our lives.

Thank you, Freddie.

119 notes - Posted March 10, 2022

135 notes - Posted June 9, 2022

178 notes - Posted February 24, 2022

185 notes - Posted November 14, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

186 notes - Posted March 21, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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senseitoadstool · 2 years

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MoViews: Elvis (2022)

Baz Luhrmann is a creative genius, even if the movie was more than 2.5 hours long. Following the vein of Rocketman and Bohemian Rhapsody, we get a different perspective on the life and times of Elvis Presley - very much in the visual richness of Moulin Rouge and Gatsby.

The storyteller this time is EP's life-long manager, Colonel Parker, portrayed by Hanks. I know a lot of you are Hanks fans, and I must admit that this is the second movie in his repertoire that I actually think he did a decent job - but I give a LOT of that credit to the amazing makeup work they did on him. If you close your eyes, though, and listen to him, he sounds like the old evil twin of Forrest Gump (waiting for all Hanks fans to clutch the pearls before I keep going....). Sorry, I couldn't resist.... :)

What is absolutely spectacular is Butler's portrayal of the King. Not only did he nail the voice, but his performance is quite stellar. Honestly, I was never a huge Elvis fan (second pearl-clutching moment of this review), but I did enjoy some of his pieces, my favorite being Suspicions Minds. In Luhrmann's version, the song takes on a different meaning than the one assumed so many years ago.

And speaking of the soundtrack, I understand some of the music was remade to appeal to younger audiences, but there are a few highlights that are remarkable: the Don't Fly Away/Suspicious Minds remix, In the Ghetto, Fever, and Stevie Nick's haunting voice in Cotton Candy Land.

Either way you look at it, the masterful storytelling will keep you as a captive audience, and even if fictionalized and exaggerated for impact, you'll see the truth peeking through the events of the film.

Mi Opinión: Don't Miss It (3 out of 3).

He Dicho.

#MoViews #Movie Review #elvis #elvis movie #senseitoadstool #sensei toadstool

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littlelambdrgnfly · 2 months

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Oh my gosh i would die for an animated beatles series. i think that would be so cool. I'm so passionate about art of the beatles in general, more than i can express, and i think that would fit a lot better/ be more interesting. I think it'd also be better if so many people are so expectant for the casting to look like them. No problems on casting if you can just animate them :)

I will honestly be relieved if it doesnt happen. music biopics arent my thing either. many will disagree with me but i hated the freddie mercury biopic :( </3 loved rocketman though. But im always suspicious of movies being made about very complicated topics, especially if theyre making it just to make money. i think if they do end up making 4 movies about them, it will inevitably be bad since all 4 of their lives are so hard to represent in the format of a movie (thats at least what i feel)

And i didnt even think about their lives being almost similar during their times as beatles since they spent maybe like 60% or more of their time together up until maybe 1967. Great point. Even if it was about when they were more separated from 1967-1970, i still dont think their lives were varied enough to make 4 individual films about them

sorry im going on but you are still a beloved blog i go back to now and then (lol) and a cool person i think, so im glad i could get your opinion and also just love talking about this (since i havent been able to talk about it with another beatles fan so far) - person who sent the question about the biopic

Honestly, ever since I mentioned it, I’ve been obsessed with thinking about an animated Beatles series! Like, my god, it has the potential to be so good! I keep planning it out in my head, like each episode would be at a specific time, early years, Hamburg, Beatlemania, etc… A talented animator can express so much with so little in a way that live action usually can’t touch, and that would be so important in a rich story like the Beatles’. You could even do each chapter in a different style, or with different artists, just to highlight the changes they’re going through! God, someone get me in a room with a Netflix producer, PLEASE.

I didn’t even see Bohemian Rhapsody and I adore Queen and Freddie Mercury. As soon as I heard that the band was involved with the making, I knew that it wasn’t gonna be good. 😅 I really don’t watch any musician/actor biopics. Celebrities, and families of celebrities, are always going to make themselves look as good as possible, even if it means making a worse movie. But the whole genre is just so predictable— you’ve got a young person who loves entertainment but they’ve got some kind of barrier holding them back, they break through, they experience fame, they hit a low point usually with substance abuse, and then they either get better or die. You can’t really help it, it’s just the nature of a celebrity’s life, there’s always going to be the same elements. I mean, there’s a connection as to why Amadeus is so heavily fictionalized, not even told from Mozart’s perspective, and why it’s the best music biopic ever lol. There’s a real fine line between keeping enough of the true story and making an engaging film, and I don’t think that many filmmakers are up to the challenge.

Thanks for sending these asks! I love talking about film and television and the awful awful decisions Hollywood seems intent on making lmao! 💖

#watch Amadeus if you’ve never seen it #I also really liked Lords of Chaos #that one has an actual story to tell beyond How We Got Famous lol

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deakyjoe · 1 year

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Same anon from the movie question: you're a Heath Ledger fan? Who are your other favourite actors?

I love these film related questions 😭

So here are my top actors. Some of them I have seen most of their filmography and others only a little but still think they are remarkably talented and/or entertaining. The favourites I’ve listed are purely about their performances, not necessarily the films themselves.

1) Heath Ledger. Obviously. I have loved him my whole life and I can barely think about the man without crying. He was phenomenal and could do anything. I’m so sad he didn’t get to see his own Oscar win. Favourites: 10TIHAY, A Knight’s Tale, Brokeback Mountain, The Dark Knight

2) Jake Gyllenhaal. Give this man an Oscar already. Every few months I suddenly remember his filmography exists and rewatch as much of it as I can. Favourites: Brokeback Mountain, Zodiac, Prisoners, Donnie Darko, Nightcrawler, Love & Other Drugs, (I could list several more)

3) Nicolas Cage. Okay so maybe he’s not the best actor in the world but I will watch anything this man is in. And I mean ANYTHING. Favourites: National Treasure, Knowing, TUWOMT, G-Force, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse

4) Pedro Pascal. Another obvious one. He’s so good and I’m so glad he’s getting so much appreciation at the moment. Give him an Emmy please. Thank you. Maybe not the first that comes to mind when you think of “great actors” but certainly should be. Favourites: Prospect, TUWOMT, TLOU, The Mandalorian, Kingsman: The Golden Circle, Narcos

5) Viola Davis. I cry every time she cries. She always hits me right in the gut and you can feel every ounce of pain. She’s EGOT for a reason. Favourites: HTGAWM, Prisoners, The Help, Fences

6) Angela Bassett. You know you’re going to see a good performance when Angela Bassett appears on your screen. Favourites: Black Panther: Wakanda Forever, 911, AHS

7) Paul Dano. Soft-spoken and constantly being beat-up on screen. And yet he’s incredible every time. Favourites: The Batman, Little Miss Sunshine, Love and Mercy, Okja, There Will Be Blood, Prisoners, Swiss Army Man

8) Samuel L. Jackson. Every time this man says “motherfucker” I smile uncontrollably. Favourites: MCU, Pulp Fiction, The Incredibles, Star Wars, Kingsman: The Secret Service, Snakes on a Plane

9) Queen Latifah. Brings a certain energy that cannot be matched. Favourites: Chicago, Hairspray, Ice Age

10) Lucy Liu. I fell in love with her when I saw Charlie’s Angels for the first time. Favourites: Charlie’s Angels, Kung-Fu Panda, Chicago,

11) Michelle Yeoh. She’s just cool, man. I don’t know what else to say. Favourites: Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings, Last Christmas, Reign of Assassins

12) Jeff Goldblum. He plays every character the same but IT WORKS and I love it every single time. Favourites: The Fly, Cats & Dogs, Thor: Ragnarok

13) Willem Dafoe. I never intentionally watch films with him in them but always get a million times more excited when he shows up in them. Favourites: Spider-Man, American Psycho, The Great Wall

14) Joe Mazzello. Underrated actor honestly, deserves a lot more appreciation and better roles. Petition to get him a better agent. A lot of his work as a child are great as well. Favourites: Bohemian Rhapsody, Jurassic Park, The Pacific, Undrafted, Dear Sidewalk, The Cure

15) Leigh Whannell. The guy is Australian and plays whiney, pathetic characters. What’s not to love? He’s also a great writer and director! Favourites: Saw, Dying Breed, Cooties, Insidious

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venomous-system · 1 year

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Favorite Songs - Part 1

We’re going to start making these posts for groups of alters. We haven’t decided on how exactly to sort the alters into groups, so we’re going by source/clique for now. Not every alter is active online but most of them have agreed to participate in this

WARNING: Some songs listed may contain mature content.

PART ONE - GENSHIN FICTVIES (Fatui Edition)

JAX - He/They

(Source: Tartaglia)

Undress Rehearsal by Timeflies

It’s just a really fun song. I know it’s a pretty flirty and somewhat sexual song, but it’s very upbeat and catchy and just a super fun song to dance to. 9/10

The Bad Guy by...IDK whether to list Thomas Sanders or Jay Harper

I know nothing of “Ultimate Story Time” and very little of Thomas Sanders and his content, but this song is good

It’s kind of angsty and sound almost Disney-esque. It’s like what you’d find if Descendants was created with as much care and tact as Frozen. Overall, solid 8/10

The entire Hamilton soundtrack

I’M JUST LIKE MY COUNTRY I’M YOUNG SCRAPPY AND HUNGRY AND I’M NOT THROWING AWAY MY SHOT

I have memorized the entire first act and like half of the second act

HERCULES MULLIGAN I NEED NO INTRODUCTION WHEN YOU KNOCK ME DOWN I GET THE FUCK BACK UP AGAIN

I’m not much of a musical fan but THIS

I’M TAKING THIS HORSE BY THE REIGNS MAKE THEIR REDCOATS REDDER WITH BLOODSTAINS

I hate irl George Washington but the fictionalized version here is a badass and reminds me of a few of my role models/superiors from work

10/10

That Jellyfish Rave Song From SpongeBob

I don’t need to justify myself. 11/10

YUKI - They/He/It

(Source: Scaramouche)

Experiment On Me by Halsey

I know this song is a feminist thing and I’m not sure if my nonbinary ass is allowed to vibe with it, but I like it. I scream it very loudly. Bridge is too long, but not enough to ruin it. 6/10

Brutal by Olivia Rodrigo

A vibe. 7/10

Turn It Off by Paramore

9/10

Waiting On A Miracle from Encanto

When I formed in the system, Encanto was at the height of its popularity, so I was very exposed to it and ended up latching onto it pretty hard, this song most of all.

It hits close to home. If I try to explain any better than that, I’ll just end up ranting about my emotional issues for 17 paragraphs.

10/10

Six (the Musical)

I like musicals and this is one of my favorites. I don’t really have a reason for why I like this one other than the songs slap. 6/10 because...Six

Loser Geek Whatever from Be More Chill

Again with the musicals...8/10

If Only from Descendants

I’m personally not the biggest fan of this movie series, but some of the Littles like it, hence why Jax and I have seen it. It’s got its charms as well as its issues... but this song in particular was really good. I also laughed harder than I should have at the “Do What You Gotta Do” scene in the third one, and “My Once Upon a Time” was also pretty enjoyable. 9/10 if I add up the three Descendants songs I like.

Bohemian Rhapsody, but specifically the “IT” Musical Parody version

I like the original version of the song by Queen, but this one is really funny 10/10

KNAVE - She/They

(Source: Arlecchino)

God Sent Me As Karma and The Audacity by Emlyn

This artist’s music is awesome.

These are just my top two songs by this singer.

10/10

Boyfriend by Dove Cameron

WILL steal your girl. 10/10

That Bitch by Bea Miller

Warning: very explicit language

10/10

ZERO - He/It

(Source: Dottore - Fuzztive, younger than canon)

CBAT by Hudson Mohawka

HAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA 11/10

CAPITANO - He/Him

(Source: Do you have to ask? It’s Capitano)

Kelly Clarkson

Fuck your toxic masculinity

#system stuff #system posting #genshin fictive #fictives #favorite songs

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lookingbackonit · 1 year

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Wayne and Garth Vs Bill and Ted

Waynes World cane out and usurped Bill and Ted in my affections but it was different. Waynes World was knowing and knew it was a fiction. It was postmodern and ironic whereas Bill and Ted existed in their own reality which, outlandish and fantastical though it was, had an integrity that Wayne's World made fun of.

The soundtrack was a clue to that. Whereas the Bill and Ted Bogus Journey soundtrack was filled with the real life hot-at-the-time hair-metal bands who Bill and Ted would have listened to and been fans of, the Wayne's World soundtrack was more corporate. It had a couple of high profile 'modern' rock bands like the red hot chilli peppers, Cinderella, and but it also had stuff that was part of scenes and jokes in the movie like Bohemian Rhapsody which was included based on a teenage memory of Mike Myers' and Alice Cooper, who was always cool but included due to his cameo in the movie.

It went even further with the inclusion of an Eric Clapton song which was definitely not what teenagers were listening to. The soundtrack also had a version of the Wayne's World theme song with the actors goofing around on it and two songs with Tia Carrera, who played the love interest in the movie singing them.

The soundtrack was what it was but like the whole of Wayne's World what it was saying is that 'what this movie depicts isn't real', a lesson that earnest 14 year old me probably did neee to hear. The conclusion that Wayne and Garth aren't real was bolstered by the soundtrack raising the query of what was the movie saying?

In Wayne's World the movie's plot is undermined by itself throughout and at the end breaks down altogether and we see a series of different spoof endings with the real one culminating in all the actors, including the slimy villain breaking the third wall to tell the audience that they've been fooled ("Fished in!").

I was definitely 'fished-in'- Wayne's and Garth weren't real. They were comedians making fun of the world I had so recently adopted and taken so seriously. Bill and Ted were losers who made it through by luck and their inherent innocent decency. Even if a lot of the movie was purposely fantastic and silly, the ideals of honesty and being true to yourself without malice was mourishing to me as a persona to reflect. Wayne and Garth superficially reflected the same journey and qualities but their ultimate quest was to sell their TV show to Mr Big and then at the end they never really do it. Its revealed as a construct where the players are just tricking the audience with nostalgia and dumb jokes.

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queenandborhapevents · 3 years

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Announcing the sign ups for the 3 years of BoRhap event!

The collection is active and sign ups are open until August 15th! Sign ups may be extended based on response.

What is the event?

This event is celebrating three years since the release of the Bohemian Rhapsody film, which brought so many new people into our fandom! This event will be an exchange, where you will be given a prompt to create a fic or an art piece for by the US release date of November 2nd.

What will be required of me?

Writers are asked to create a fic of 1.5k or more, and artists are asked to put in a similar level of effort (such as a finished art piece, preferably 2 moodboards or manips, etc. If you have any questions about what can be submitted, please send us an ask or message on of the mods)

For the sign ups, you will be asked to send in your prompt. Give your gifter enough details so that they will be able to create something that fits your idea. Also, please include any squicks/triggers, as well as if you are over 18 and if you are okay with explicit material. For your offer, we also ask for squicks/triggers and age, as well as what you will and will not write/create for so that you are not matched with a prompt you cannot use.

How specific/how many prompts do I need?

We ask that you are specific enough to give the creator enough details to create something for you! This could look like a few sentences or a list of thoughts. For the amount, we recommend including up to 3 (though you do not have to, it definitely helps your gifter.

About pinch hitting and dropping out

Please include in your sign up offer if you would be able to pinch hit in case someone needs to drop out. Dropping out of the event is always an option, though we will be sad to see you go! If you absolutely must, let a mod know as soon as possible so we can find someone to fulfill your prompt.

We hope to see plenty of sign ups, and we can't wait to get started! Feel free to send in asks with any questions, or send a message to one of the mods at @anironsidh or @maz-zello

Find the discord here! (reminder that we are looking for a discord mod to set up role bots and a sprint bot in the server)

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bensakindofmagic · 4 years

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Chapter Twenty One

Warnings: swearing, angst, mentions of smut, and possible heartbreak content here folks (i honest to god nearly cried writing this — should not have done this to myself while pms-ing. i thought i would find it really easy to write but i was actually so sad i really struggled)

w/c: 2.8k+

Chapter Twenty One

“Wait, so she’s moving to the States?” Joe bleated through the phone.

“Yeah man, for three years.”

“Are you breaking up?”

Ben groaned, running a hand through his hair. “I don’t know. I think so.”

“You think so? What the fuck does that mean?”

“We haven’t really talked about it. She only found out a couple of days ago and she’s been so busy getting ready to go, you know. She’s been sorting her visa, looking at apartments out there, doing all the research and everything. They want her there in less than three weeks.

“I thought the shoot was a month away?”

“Yeah, but they want her there early to get settled first, and meet everyone.”

“Christ,” sighed Joe sympathetically. “I suppose she’s gotta pack as well.”

“Well she only moved in here a couple of months ago, so it’s not too bad. It’s not like she’s got to figure out what to do with all her furniture ‘cause she already did that.”

“Right. Handy,” Joe deadpanned. “And how do you feel about all this?”

“Like shit. Like actual human faeces. But it’s her life, Joe.”

It felt good for Ben to talk things out with someone. More than anything he wanted to talk to you about where this whole thing left your relationship, but you were stressed enough with the move that you barely had a second together. Even when you did, you were always too busy stressing about something or another, some item on your to-do list that took you one step further away from him, to pay him too much attention. It made his heart ache, to see you readying yourself to leave him, but the part that really killed him was the fact that it didn’t seem to upset you.

The days were lonely and seemed to drag, but before Ben knew it you were due to leave in a matter of days. You were curled up on the sofa together, enjoying the way the dying summer sun draped the room in gold. Ben was strumming absentmindedly at his guitar while you rested your legs across his lap, Frankie curled up beside you, ticking off the tasks on your to-do list. Finally satisfied that you had done all you needed before you left, you closed your eyes and hummed contentedly, listening to the soft tune Ben played. It was a rare moment of calm and warmth in what had been an otherwise chaotic and stressful couple of weeks. You had barely allowed yourself to stop because you knew the second that you did you would crumble. The thought of leaving Ben was too much to bear, and you knew if you let yourself imagine your life without him you would unpack everything and stay exactly where you were — with him. So instead, you did absolutely every possible task to keep yourself busy. But finally you stopped, and enjoyed a moment of stillness. You felt the waves of music drifting over from Ben, and in them all the love and light in he world. You watched him, and drank him in, determined to remember every detail; the crease between his eyes as he concentrated, the way the light caught the waves in his hair, the way he licked his lip after every line. You imprinted that perfect image into your mind for safe keeping, knowing how much you would need it once you were more than 5,000 miles away from him. You quickly batted away the sense of loss that came creeping in, but somehow Ben read your mind and sighed, setting his guitar down and letting his limbs fall heavily.

“Can we talk, Y/N?”

You stifled a groan, “Do we have to?”

“We’ve barely spoken for weeks.” You saw the hurt he was trying to hide.

“I know, I’m sorry love. I’ve just been really busy...” It wasn’t necessarily a lie.

He turned to look at you for the first time, and the look in his eyes made you shatter. “I need to know what’s happening. Are we staying together?”

“I don’t want to stop you from being happy.”

“Then stay.”

You rolled your eyes but he continued, “I know what you’re saying but I don’t want to be with anyone else. I love you.”

Your heart sank to your stomach: that was exactly what you didn’t want him to say. It wasn’t that you felt differently — he was the love of your life — but you couldn’t bear to not be with him properly for three years. You had struggled enough for three months in Scotland, where you could hop on a plane and be in his arms within a few hours. LA was different. You would need at least a week to make the trip worth it, and you’d be so busy who knew when you’d get a whole week off. Besides, it wasn’t like you had the money to be flying back and forth all the time. It could be a year before you saw him again. No, that would be too hard. You would be tearing yourself apart, the agony was too much to even contemplate. It had to be a clean break. You had to move on completely. If it was meant to be, he would be waiting for you when you came back.

“I know. I love you too, but I can’t split myself in half.”

“You won’t even try long distance? You’re going to do to me exactly what your ex did to you?”

Your jaw clenched, “Don’t compare me to Matteo. This is different Ben, we tried long distance and it was awful.”

He mumbled, “Not as awful as breaking up.”

You removed your legs from his lap and sat beside him, “I don’t think that’s true. This way we can both move on. We can have our own lives for the next three years, instead of living half a life, waiting for someone on another continent.”

His eyes started to sparkle with tears. “I would wait for you.”

“I know you would, Benny, but three years is a long time. I can’t do that to you. Or myself.”

“So this is it? We have two more days of you being my girlfriend?”

You nodded, fighting back tears. The thought of not being his anymore stung like a bullet to the heart.

He shuffled closer to you, cupping your jaw, “Then I guess I should make the most of you, while you’re still mine.”

Your voice was weak and feather-light as you whispered, “I’ll always be yours.”

He kissed your forehead softly, “No you won’t.”

Tears finally tell and you collapsed into his arms. “I wish it didn’t have to be like this.”

“I know, baby, I know,” he hushed, stroking your hair.

You sniffed, trying your best to pull yourself together, and looked at Ben. You wiped the wetness from his cheeks, and kissed him as fiercely as you knew how, letting him pull your body closer. You were breathless when you pulled away. “Take me to bed.”

There was no urgency in the way you made love that night. There was no clawing at each other, no chests heaving and moans ripping through throats. It was slow and deliberate, like you both wanted it to last forever. His mouth on yours was warm and possessive, but the way he locked eyes with you was vulnerable in a way you had never seen before. He stripped himself bare before you. Your hands roamed every inch of skin you could find, tracing each ridge and wrinkle, committing every touch to memory. And when he thrust into you, every movement in slow-motion, you shuddered, knowing you might never feel that whole again. Ben’s heavy, ragged breathing was a symphony in your ear, his lips on your neck like liquid gold. Even with him inside you, you didn’t feel close enough and clearly he felt the same because he kept wrapping him arms around your waist, tight enough to make you forget that the thing you’d miss most was the weight of that embrace. When you reached your climax it was poetic; you clasped him to your body, drinking in the warmth of his skin on yours. You buried your hands in his hair and your face in his neck, desperate not to let go, to soak up every ounce of him.

You understood, in a way you never had before, why they called it ‘making love’.

You lay tangled in each other all night. You didn’t speak much, just lay with your head on his chest while he played with your hair, and listened to his breathing, his heartbeat. That steady thud thud thud of life coursing through his veins. It was a cluster of muscle and tissue and blood but it was yours. His heart belonged to you, at least for a little while longer.

You stayed in bed all of the next morning, bathing in the sunlight streaming in through the window, and kissed and cuddled and chatted. Eventually you got dressed and headed out into the city. You bought a picnic lunch and ate it on the bank of the river. Frankie chased the ducks and begged for food, and Ben humoured her, throwing bits of food for her to find. You smiled wide and often. You both lay on the grass, resting your head on his stomach, and watched shapes form and dissipate in the clouds. You sang and skipped and kissed. Usually you hated those obnoxious couples who were all over each other in public, but that day you couldn’t care less because the next day you would leave with a suitcase and a plane ticket and you wouldn’t be together again for three years. So you kissed your boyfriend often and ferociously, and traced your fingers over the back of his neck, and stroked his hair and held his hand.

The evening was quiet, subdued. Your suitcase loomed threateningly by the front door.

“What time’s your taxi tomorrow?”

“8.30am, not too early.”

“You sure you don’t want me to take you to the airport?”

“No that’s okay.” You didn’t want to say your goodbyes in public.

He nodded, silent, and you stroked his cheek. You didn’t want to cry, god knows you’d have plenty of time for that once you’d left, but you couldn’t stop a tear from gliding down your face. He wiped it away with his thumb, replacing it with his lips. A gentle smile pulled at your mouth; he always knew exactly how to make you feel better. You supposed that would make the next few weeks all the harder — the one person who could mend your heart was the one person who had caused it to break in the first place.

Neither of you slept much. You could tell from his breathing he was trying not to cry. In the small hours he whispered your name, a question heavy with anxiety and fear.

“I’m still here Benny,” you purred, and held onto him a little tighter. Silently, he cried.

You were all too aware of the irony of the rising sun being the marker of the end of you time with Ben, the end of your life as you knew if. You were off to start a new life in a new country, alone. You stretched the lethargy from your limbs and tried to roll out of bed, but two strong arms locked you in place.

“Not yet,” came Ben’s voice, hushed and raw.

“I have to catch my flight.”

“Not yet.”

Ben squeezed a little tighter, holding you by the waist. You let go of the tension in your shoulders and sighed into him. He played with locks of your hair and nuzzled his nose in your head. If there was a heaven then lying there with Ben was what it felt like. But when your alarm finally went off Ben didn’t hold you back. He watched as you tied your hair up and headed towards the bathroom.

When you came back out he had pulled on some trackies and his old hoodie. He looked so soft, so like the man you had fallen for all those month ago.

“Shall I make you some breakfast?”

“No that’s okay,” you murmured, “I’m not hungry.”

He held your arm, “You should eat.”

“I’ll grab something at the airport.”

You felt, more than saw his shoulders droop. You could barely bring yourself to look at him. Suddenly your decision felt like a terrible betrayal. What were you doing, galavanting off to America? You should be with Ben in your home, building your life together.

“How long before the taxi arrives?” he asked. He knew exactly how long.

“Ten minutes.”

He muttered, “Right,” and stared at his feet, hands thrust deep into his pockets.

You had to leave. You had to go before you changed your mind. You made a commitment, signed a contract, but the look on Ben’s face brought you so close to calling up the studio to say you couldn’t do it. You had to get out before he dragged you back in.

“I guess I should go down, he might be early. I don’t want to keep him waiting.”

He saw right through you, but he didn’t call you out. He understood you better than you knew.

“Can I help you take your suitcase down?”

“I’ll take the lift.”

He nodded, and swallowed hard. I guess this is it then.

You went over to Frankie where she still lay in her bed, dozing. She lifted her head as you approached and you stroked her behind her ear. She nuzzled her head into your hand.

“Bye, girlie. You be good, okay? Look after your dad for me.”

You kissed her nose and stood, heading towards Ben. The hardest good bye was yet to come.

You’d ever seen his eyes look so vibrant. They seemed to shine. You suddenly felt dizzy, and sucked in a breath to steady yourself. Tears started to prick your eyes but you forced them back, clenching your fists hard enough to turn your knuckles white.

“God, you’re really leaving, aren’t you?” Ben breathed.

You exhaled sharply, “Didn’t you believe me?”

“I don’t know, I guess not. I didn’t feel it in my bones.”

“And now you do?”

“Yeah… now I do."

For a lifetime you were both absolutely still. You wanted to turn tail and leave, closing the door behind you. You wanted to run into his arms and never let go. You felt like your world was falling apart and you couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe.

Ben took a few tentative steps towards you, assuming the strength you didn’t have. “I’m gonna miss you.”

You couldn’t get the words out to tell him you’d miss him too; you let your tears speak for themselves. He took your hand, finally letting the tension in your fingers dissipate and he traced his fingertips along your palm. He fought the urge to tell you that he had wanted one day to put a ring on your finger. That wouldn’t help you leave.

You choked out, “I love you,” and threw your arms around his neck. He squeezed you tight, holding all the pieces of you together.

“I love you, too. Always.”

He tucked your hair behind your ear and smiled, the kind of sad smile that breaks your heart more than it warms it.

“I can’t leave you.”

“Yes you can,” he intoned, wiping away your tears, “and you will.”

“Don’t you want me to stay?”

A slight chuckled bubbled up through him, “Of course I do, with all my heart. But more than that I want you to thrive. You’re gonna go to LA and take everyone by storm, I know it.”

You didn’t appreciate while you were sobbing, trying desperately to compose yourself, wishing with all your heart that you and Ben could stay together, the sacrifice that Ben made for you in that moment. He bundled all his strength up in a ball and put it in your hands. He gave you the push to do what you needed to, even though it broke his heart. He spent days afterwards thinking that he could have convinced you to stay, and you would still be with him. The thought made him sick, but he knew he had done the right thing.

Still, watching you walk away was agony of the acutest kind. You kissed his cheek, whispering again that you loved him, and picked up your bags. When you got to the door you hesitated, and pulled your keys out of your pocket. With delicate motions you laid them in the bowl beside Ben’s and turned to look at him one more time. You bit your lip to stop the sob that threatened to rip through you at the sight of him. It killed you to know that it was your fault. But you had to put that aside. You had to leave.

“Goodbye Benny,” you whispered and crossed the threshold, closing the door behind you.

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