The sole reason I want Buffy and Faith to be a thing in season 3 is Angel’s reaction. With him being lowkey misogynistic like half the time, there’s no way there isn’t some homophobia also in there. It would be so funny to watch him struggle.
Angel: Faith is not good for you. She’s too impulsive and self-centered.
Buffy: You just don’t like that she’s gay.
Angel: N- no! That’s not it!
Buffy: Sorry, Angel, this is the 20th century. If I want to date a girl, I will.
And the rest of the season is just watching Angel be tormented because he can’t posit his (let’s face it, very reasonable) concerns without acting like a homophobe.
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Key to My Heart
Summary: In the Buffy the Vampire Slayer tie-in book "Prime Evil," the villain named Shugra--who posed as a Sunnydale High teacher--messed with Buffy's mind some (in sensing that she could be a threat to her plans, and wanting to shake her confidence) and gave her panic attacks around her. And in not being able to sense anything wrong with her, Buffy began to think that she was going insane for having such a reaction around her. The night the threat is vanquished--and she and Angel are relaxing, just trying to catch their breath--Angel asks Buffy why she never told him that she doubted herself in such a way. (You don't need to read "Prime Evil" to understand this fanfic.) Set during Buffy S3. Bangel. Birthday gift for @bisexualblckcanary.
Key to My Heart
Buffy was spending time in the mansion with Angel, after the defeat of Shugra.
The Slayer knew it was probably getting old to think such things—and surely cliché—but she really hadn’t been sure that they were going to be able to win this one. The witch had been super powerful: much more than Amy Madison’s mother had been. And she’d had so many of Sunnydale’s youth under her thumb, willing to give her power in order to see their “wildest dreams come true.” And many of her followers had been powerful, themselves, like Michael and Anya. And when the witch had put Willow out of commission, so that she couldn’t use any spells, Buffy had thought there’d be no way to stop Shugra’s plans for the Hellmouth.
But they’d persevered, once again. This time, because she and Angel had been willing to dip their toes into spellcasting. And the others—including Buffy’s own mother—had given Buffy their strength once more and it had been enough to see everything done, once Willow had convinced Shugra’s followers to not buy what the sorceress was selling.
"Buffy… was it because you think I'm crazy—the Angelus part of me, I mean--that made you not tell me you thought you were losing your mind before?" Angel asked completely out of the blue, as he lied behind her on the couch and continued to stroke her hair, much like he had earlier in the night before they went into the final battle against the woman.
She knew what Angel was talking about, of course: another of her absolute favorite traits about this villain, Buffy thought sarcastically: she somewhat messed with the Slayer’s mind at the start of everything to make her doubt herself. And that was something Buffy hadn’t realized she was doing at the time; and since she had sensed nothing about the threat—her usual spidey sense not tingling—to explain why she was giving her panic attacks, Buffy had thought she was losing it.
"Of course not, Angel,” Buffy was quick to reassure her boyfriend, gently rolling towards him and cupping his face now. She knew how sensitive he was about how he’d been when he… wasn’t himself. And understood why he was questioning her about this.
People were supposed to be honest with each other if they dated, weren’t they? And while the two of them sometimes did have trouble with that, Buffy knew that they both aimed for that with each other, and of course wanted it to be an aspect of their relationship. If she’d known Angel hadn’t told her something like this, she would have been curious, too.
That, however, didn’t mean that she was exactly comfortable talking about it now. Or that she was entirely happy that he’d brought it up, when they were supposed to be relaxing, forgetting all of the Shugra stuff. Even if she did understand it.
“So, then what-” Angel started, moving gently so that Buffy was now sitting on the sofa, and then following suit. He looked at her with penetrating, confused eyes. But Buffy was already cutting his question off with, “Thinking there was maybe something wrong with me… was something I could barely face.” It was enough that Buffy had been in an Insane Asylum once, when her parents had thought she’d gone coocoo for Cocoa Puffs—and a part of Buffy wondered if Angel knew about that, since it seemed that he’d been around when she’d first been Called in L.A.—so she’d only just been able to tell her Watcher about all of that. So to then tell Angel that there was something wrong with her? Buffy hadn’t even been able to imagine it.
“…And I wanted you to know it least of all,” Buffy finished lamely. And only after she said the words, did she realize that it was lame. Because surely, Angel would tell her that it was exactly when she was hurting so much, and clearly needed him, that she should tell him things the most.
But Angel seemed to show mercy on her—perhaps realizing that she really did want to return to the lighter mood of the night—as he smiled ever so slightly and attempted to play it off with, "…I guess that makes sense. It would kind of be like me when I didn’t want my parents to know I did badly on a test."
Buffy had to blink at Angel owlishly at least three times before she laughed slightly, because she did know Angel was trying to make her feel better about everything tonight, and pushed her boyfriend in the arm. After all, it wasn’t like him to be so tactless. Usually, it was her. "Wow, Angel. I can't believe you made that comparison. But knowing you're from a time where people didn't talk about their feelings—and also what a big deal bad marks would have been with stricter parents, I guess—I suppose I’ll allow it.”
“Just as long as I know I am ‘allowed’ things,” Angel said shyly now, playing with Buffy’s left hand and refusing to meet Buffy’s eyes. Even though he was twisting some of her last words, Buffy thought she understood what he was asking: “Would she try to tell him things from now on?” Especially since she had gotten around to explaining all of this eventually?
Well, Buffy did think that honesty was the best policy, of course. Some of her and Angel’s problems in the past were no doubt because they hadn’t spoken enough.
And Willow, recently, hadn’t been wrong, when she’d told Buffy “that’s how it should be,” about her and Angel really talking after he’d ripped out the heart of a demon and fed it to her.
So Buffy found that definitely she could agree to this, so long as Angel understood that there would be times that she might need time to organize her thoughts first.
“Of course you’re allowed the key to my heart, honey,” Buffy replied, putting her hands on her hips. She tried to say it in a matter-of-fact way, so it seemed less like she was quoting some cheesy romance novel or one of those Japanese cartoons that Xander loved so much, but she supposed she still might have sounded like one of those.
Because, after all, what she’d said was just too true. She was in love, after all.
And even when Angel would eventually stand a far distance away from her, and stare her down before leaving to go to L.A.—breaking her heart into a million microscopic pieces in the process—it would still be true.
Author's Note: I started this fic a long time ago, but while I could figure out the main parts of the conversation I wanted these two to have, I had a hard time with the things beyond that: namely the ending. I’m still not entirely sure, but whatever. I will say it’s better than some things I tried.
I just really wanted to finish this fic for bisexualblckcanary on Tumblr’s birthday this week. I hope you like it, honey:)
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