#but I’m still here | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

waxingrunes · 2 months

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Allow me to nudge any of you lot that have left requests for corn in my inbox in the last few weeks and months. Please don’t be discouraged because I haven’t responded or acknowledged them. I promise I see all of them and love all of them. I’m just trying to get some scheduling back to my normal and those (you filthy mfs) drawings.

Me 🤝 your depraved minds, salute.

#life’s been weird #but i’m still here

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hoothootmotherf-ckers · 3 months

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#here we are at another anniversary #I think my actual first hospitalization was at the end of January #But shit started a few weeks before #so.#happy nine years of being disabled.#over a third of my life #And like it fucking sucks #But I’m still here #I am disabled. And I finally feel comfortable saying that #because yes I’m disabled enough.#and anyone who wants to say otherwise can fucking bite me #should I have to deal with this? Fuck no.#but I am and I’m here and I’m alive.#to seventeen year old me: you’re gonna have a rollercoaster of a time #there’s gonna be major ups and downs #but we’re surviving and even thriving despite it all #nine years ago I didn’t know if I could go to college #I didn’t know if I could ever hold down a job #and guess fucking what? I did it #you did it.#I have a migraine right now #and the last two years have been terrifying and like being seventeen again #but I have hope #I shouldn’t have to deal with it #pushing through these is not a sign of bravery or competence or effort #it’s just a sign that the world’s on some shit #but nine years later and I’m still here and doing the things I love #And that matters a lot.

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kogetaikid · 2 months

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I think I know why some of my oc stuff doesn’t seem appealing to others. I explain the lore way to randomly and unclearly, some I’m gonna change things up a bit…

LINK TO MASTERPOST HERE!

LINK TO D!0X!D3 HERE!

LINK TO D!0X!D3 (DEVIANTART EDITION) HERE!

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spidergrotto · 5 months

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i can’t tell if i’m supposed to be doing something, becoming someone right now or if i’m over-doing it and need to let myself rest, let my mind sit in silence.

i can’t find the difference between rotting and letting myself rest, i feel like i’m sitting getting lost in my daydreams in hopes of avoiding something.

do i know what i’m avoiding? no, maybe it’s the anxiety— usually it’s the thought that i’m not doing enough, achieving enough, sometimes it’s the constant feeling of worthlessness, or that tiny little thought in my mind telling me to just end it and get this over with; is all this hurt really worth the potential happiness of the future? i don’t know.

i don’t know what’s wrong with me, i don’t know if i’m stopping myself from achieving anything or if i need to let myself rest and just exist. i don’t know if this is depression or if it’s something else.

the word depression has always felt disgusting, i don’t know why— i hate labeling myself with it, im not depressed, i’ve just been sad and tired for a really long time and rationally i know that i am depressed but it feels wrong to say, because what do i have to be depressed about?

or maybe im just not remembering the moments where i felt happy? maybe the hurt is making things unclear, or maybe im tricking myself into believing that life is more than just this.

i don’t know what’s going on, i know i don’t want to die, not like i used to. but i also am accurately aware that it’s easier to let it happen all the same. has the idea of suicide become my biggest version of avoidance? “whatever i’ll be dead by then either way.” i don’t want that, so why is it the default? why can’t i change the way it goes.

i woke up at three pm today willingly, it’s eight pm and i’m holding myself back from getting back under the covers because holy shit get it together. but is that me trying not to rot or is it self destructive? how am i supposed to navigate this? i don’t know, i’m trying and i know that it’s not enough, either i end it or i try harder and figure something out, figure out how to be better, but can i even do that?

i don’t even know why i’m posting this because it’s sooo silly and i doubt it’ll fix anything but i don’t know !

peter parker core lol

#sorry for the rant #im just really struggling and it feels like my entire life has just been this feeling of exhaustion #but i’m still here #and i don’t know what to do with that!#rant post #rambles #personal vent #tw vent #meaning #idk lmao

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parttimesarah · 6 months

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Idk, I’m just feeling kinda…

#wibbly wobbly liney ulmey #but yeah I am feeling kind of *off*#but i’m still here #smoochies to you all #boston bruins #bruinsblr #linus ullmark #I made a gif #it’s silly but it’s mine #use it wisely… or not

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ineffably-splendid · 3 months

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Jeeeez, I reloaded tumblr a dozen times and it kept saying my blog didn’t exist. Thought it got deleted. I was real scared there for a sec.

#but I’m still here #sorry #berethil

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sticksbug · 2 months

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Just realized I have not posted anything about my BITB au here. I will in the morning so sorry 🙏🙏

#sticks screams into the void #I’ve been a bit inactive #but I’m still here #patting all of my followers on the head #jrwi bitb #bitb #jrwi #jrwi show

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ohraicodoll · 10 months

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Some of the craziness happening IRL right now for me. Every time I think I get time to slow down something pops up.

The tattoo apprenticeship is gearing up and I’ve been booked and busy. This is the last month my friends coffee shop will be open and I’ve been her event coordinator for a year so it’s been crazy with these last events since it’s Pride month. We live in Bible Belt Texas so it hasn’t been great. I vended at a lot of events, hosted a movie night at the studio for our Oddities event, and most importantly we’re starting a business.

We’re creating an interactive art gallery which has been a dream of mine for years but now that it’s becoming a reality there’s so much work and we’re looking at buildings and I’m designing graphics and interviewing artists. All while I do my 8-5 job. Which I’m considering leaving if I can make sure I somehow make enough to cover all my bills and independent health insurance. It’s a lot and all I wanna do is escape. So I’ve just been reading a lot of fanfic and not writing lol.

Being an adult sucks

#irl things #personal #I love pride month but it’s been a lot #I’m juggling a lot of things and dropping some balls #but I’m still here

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sirswooshnoodles · 6 months

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I saw this posted, and decided to mark it up. I then talk about stuff for a bit and get a lil dark. I’m not quite sure how to tag it to keep it off the dashed of ppl it might upset so instead I’m putting in a readmore and this warning.

In conclusion, I ain’t doing so great

“How much longer can I keep this up”

Without distractions from a reality I currently can’t/ don’t know how to change, not long at all.

I’m tired. So tired. Why is 21 years so long? How do people manage decades of this? Is this life?

I keep holding on in case things get better

But I’m tired. Exhausted. Existing is the best I can do, and no one is happy about it.

Normally people become more capable as they grow up. I’ve only grown more fatigued, and run down. Tasks I could do a few years ago now seem nigh impossible.

I’m tired. But sleeping doesn’t make me feel rested. The only relief is to distract myself from this all consuming fatigue.

There is no escape, from that which exists inside of you. It hurts. And I’m tired of it all.

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sorryaboutthelean · 1 year

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I thought I wasn’t gonna make it past 16 and now I’m sitting here trying to do my law school exams still not knowing wtf goin on

#like mentally? internally? it feels like I didn’t make it #but I’m still here #👍🏻#finals are a huge trigger for my depressive episodes wheee #without fail #god all I wanna do is take molly and go dancing fuck work fuck school

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autumnblooms · 10 months

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Hi, I’m still alive 🙃 The last two days have kicked my ass but I’m still here, and hopefully now I can settle in and relax with some drawing. I’m thinking a Copia portrait to raise my spirits again~

#lots of stress lately #my rabbit passing away suddenly key among them #and now I’m on vacation so I won’t be super active #but i’m still here #personal stuff

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not-your-babyy13 · 1 year

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thank you for keeping the fexi fandom alive 🥲❤️ times are so tough now but you are a real one

that’s sweet but no thanks are necessary. I’m just happy people are still interacting with me and my fics. 😭 this hiatus is rough, contemplated ghosting a few times at this point, but somehow the ideas keep coming, lmao

#my asks #the lack of engagement is rough lmao #but I’m still here

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bucksangel · 1 year

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happy 6 years to the day i tried and, thankfully, failed to end my life. i may not be 100% better, but i’m getting there, and i’m not gonna stop getting better no matter what anyone says or does

#it’s been a long fucking 6 years #but i’m still here #alive and kicking #despite my own self #𓆩♡𓆪 angel's thoughts 𓆩♡𓆪 #tw suicide #cw suicide

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borderlinebelle · 1 year

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I have to log on in 31 minutes for work and idk ladies… I’m prolly not gonna be able to do that. 🤷🏽‍♀️ Just being honest. panic attack pancakes! 🥞

Should I just hop on tumblr live instead? 🙂☀️

#the longest two weeks notice in eternity #i quit #but I’m still here #tumblr live #I’m here and there #split decision breakfast #personal #panic attack pancakes

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