#but god fucking damn it it has to be the dumbest heartless bitches that have kids and pat thrmselves on the back for a job well done

[multifandom-garbage-compactor]

Question for the void: how do you reinvent yourself when your efforts keep getting undone or get in the way of other things to the annoyance of others?

#I hope there’s not spyware on my phone or that someone has been going through it manually #y’all won’t even allow me to be stupid in private never mind that you let me know how irritating you find me whenever you can #it’s just the same same old same old and I’m beyond tired. it feels like there’s no growing or rising above this #like I’m just eating until I die. and even that I manage to do wrong. am I to blame for everything #(I realize that this is public but I havent been copying these so it’s too late to put these elsewhere) #I was a child once getting so many things wrong from the jump but how much can I blame on outside influence #and if it is my family’s fault then they’ve gotten away while I keep forgiving them and falling apart more each day #get a fucking pet instead and even then you’ll be disappointed that they’re not perfectly made to suit your mood and schedule #but god fucking damn it it has to be the dumbest heartless bitches that have kids and pat thrmselves on the back for a job well done #meanwhile all the pots are boiling over and when they finally turn around they’re only going to throw a tantrum about how unfair it is to #them. stop the press. dad missed his beauty sleep to get in the face of his quietly crying child and told them to be quiet and then sent the #problem upstairs to then rudely awake it for payback. nothing more. definitely not parenting. and you still walk around like a big man? #oh I would wish you worse than death but unlike you I still feel guilt and fear so you just get to keep wailing over the bare minimum and #never actually get your hands dirty or make up for lost ti #time. I just want it to be over. no more of this in the next life or just cut me out of existence entirely. don’t you dare do this to me #and I guess others again. I’m tired and have ruined my chances at life so don’t put me back in just so I can miss the point again and not #even have a way out. #gee was that too much

[bbrandy2002]

The Diary of Riley Brooks

Entry Two

Wacky Drabble #8: Help me with this, would you?

Coincides with TRH Chapter 13

Some strong Language

Characters belong to Pixelberry

Drabbler Tags: @emceesynonymroll @burnsoslow @sirbeepsalot @jovialyouthmusic @romanticatheart-posts @stopforamoment @dcbbw @jessiembruno @katedrakeohd

Additional tags; I have no idea who is on my permanent tags list anymore😬 I didnt exactly keep up with it 😭 I'll do better. So please let me know so I can get that sorted out.

@ao719 @hopefulmoonobject

September 7

I'm having a baby!

As I sit here trying to let that statement fully sink in, I think about where I was just one year ago today.

I had always dreamt of meeting my Prince Charming, never really expecting to find him. Liam made me realize that fairy tales do exist and sometimes wishes do come true. That sounds so cliche, yet, I don't know any other way to describe what we share together.

He is my heartbeat, my every breath, my reason for existing. Our love is built on passion and longing, his touch excites me and his very presence heats my core. Our bodies joined together, whether fierce or gentle, is pure, unadulterated magic. Liam is my warmth and sincerity, my goodness and truth.

In the depths of my belly, I am carrying the greatest symbol of that love, a part of him and a part of me, a tiny creature that will forever bring us joy.

I spent much of the reception, anxious to find out if I was indeed pregnant. As I wrote yesterday, Savannah admitted to taking a pregnancy test, as well. For whatever reason, possibly one I don't want to ever know, she placed her negative test in the bathroom drawer. Due to Madeleine's incompetence and unwanted presence for this event, she, too, put my test in the drawer. Is there some kind of weird Cordonian tradition I am unaware of that says these test work better in drawers? And why did Savannah leave hers in there? The damn thing was negative. In light of his objection, I have a strong feeling, Mr. Chuck knows more than he is letting on.

Freaked the hell out by Savannah, I knew then, I was the one who was pregnant. I needed air and a moment to think, far away from all the yee-haw bullshit. I sent Liam a text, asking him to meet me in a clearing by the house, I had a surprise for him. Within seconds, he approaches me with a flirtatious smile, looking as if he was ready to fuck me six ways from Sunday. I love that man and I'm always more than willing to participate in his freakish, outdoor sex fetish, but, this wasn't what I had in mind.

After I tell him we are a having a baby, he sweeps me up in his arms, gently placing me back to the ground. His happiness was written all over his face, until it wasn't. He went into Liam mode, panicking about the need to baby proof every room at the Palace and Valtoria. As much as I loved his cute response, I wanted tears dammit. I wanted him on his knees, crying his eyes out, unable to talk, worshipping my stomach. Mick Jagger said you can't always get what you want, but, sometimes you get what you need....well, I needed a sobbing, shaking Liam, is that too much to ask?

We discuss when to tell our friends and because I'm a petty, evil bitch, I decide we should tell them right in the middle of Savannah and Bertrand's reception. You propose at my wedding, I announce the equivalent of the second coming, in the form of my sacred child, at yours. I couldn't care less for the rest of the wedding attendees, but, seeing Hana, Drake, Maxwell and Bertrand delight in our news was exciting.

Afterwards, Liam wants to celebrate in private, which means, we might talk some, but, he still has every intention of getting off tonight. We head upstairs and I was correct in my assumption, he wants to celebrate making the baby by doing what we did to make it. He is a wet panty dropper for sure. And while some ride Harley's and horses, I propped my little pregnant ass on my own stallion and rode him hard. If Barthelemy weren't already out of his coma, me screaming Liam's name when I climaxed, would have awakened the old coot for sure.

If my panties weren't already off, after he sang a lullaby to our baby, that for sure would have melted them away. If he keeps this up, we'll have our own 20 Kids and Counting reality show.

I should have stayed in fucking bed this morning. At breakfast, Bertrand greeted us in kind, while Stick-It-In-A-Drawer Savannah, reminded us all that we are not at court. Why is she still here and not on her honeymoon? Then Leona tells me I can't have a cup of coffee....bitch, I was downing shots like no tomorrow just three days ago with Liv and Hana in Auvernal. This queen will drink a cup of coffee if she damn well pleases. My baby is probably going to come out with two heads.

Like the lovable, little genius he is, Maxwell suggests everyone buys the baby a gift. Guess who further suggested we get these gifts from the local country general store? The same damn place that was using a priceless saddle as a fucking hat holder. I can't even write her name anymore. I have to wonder, why I have been playing second fiddle on Hee-Haw Hell to her during this trip.

So the gang and I pack into our vehicle and head back to said store, where I can share with all of Cordonia that the royal crib was purchased at Wild Chester's Gear and Steer on Bootleg Road. I watched Maxwell fawn over socks, Hana recreated painful memories of lonely tea parties, and Drake...well, Drake's little wooden horse was quite adorable.

I get a call from Olivia, who somehow managed to escape earlier from this shithole than I did. I thought we were amigas now Liv? She actually cried when I told her Liam and I were expecting. I don't know what the hell she is doing in my bedroom, but, if Livvie needs something there, I'm more than happy to help a girl out. She asked me for the most valuable thing in my room, I lied to her and told her it was the royal sceptre. If she only knew the value of the dildo I had in my nightstand....that better be exactly where I left it when I get back.

Back at the ranch, Liam says the five most beautiful, glorious words I have been waiting to here for weeks.....We're almost ready to go....Hot Damn!

Bianca asked me if I thought I could get away without saying goodbye...I already knew the answer was, no. If she only knew how hard I tried about twenty times since arriving to cut tail and run. And damn that heartless, nazi, Leona, she for real dissed my husband! Bitch, I will snap you in half over Liam.

Just when I think I'm finally in the clear, who in the blue fuck put me on a plane for the next 10 hours with Frick, Frack and Kiara?

Liam, I love you, but, damn you! I'm nauseous, tired, moody, and pissing buckets every 10 minutes, carrying your child, and you thought this was a good idea.

I blame pregnancy brain for my decision to tell these three our big news. I'm not the greatest at charades, Im not even the smartest person in the world, but, I swear to God, these three may quite possibly be the dumbest morons I have ever met. They guessed I was full, I was bloated, gluttony.....fucking gluttony???? Yes Penelope, the big news I wanted to share with you is I'm a glutton. Maybe a glutton for punishment, deciding to interact with you three. More guesses included, American Football, and a common pirate jig....one of these women is an ambassador and the other my communications director. I'm a waitress from Brooklyn, and my word, I'm truly baffled by the sheer stupididy I had just witnessed. I turned to Liam, pleading with my eyes, help me with this, would you?

As bad as those three were, out of no where, the most incompetant, security guard on this planet, appears right before me. I didn't have time to worry about her, because apparently, the bane of my existence just scheduled a press conference to announce my pregnancy. I haven't seen a doctor to even confirm yet, what the hell Madeleine. One of these days, I am gonna beat that green goblin's ass down.

Cordonia, I'm on my way and can't be there soon enough.

Riley

#wackydrabbles #liam x riley #liam x mc #trh fanfic #trh #choices trh #trh liam #trh mc

[redfoxwritesstuff]

Ice Cold (Loki x ofc)

Anon request from 11/15/18 to @loki-the-fox: Prompts “You’re cute when you’re freezing” and “I may die if it gets any colder” with unspecified character- running with Loki. OC will be Gwen with Strawberry blonde hair and blue-gray eyes.

Rating/warning: PG13- future dubcon smut hinted at. 

Summary: Gwen is banished to a world of ice where she comes face to face with the prince turned monster. How can she survive?

“You’ve got to be kidding me?” The only response my shouting earned me was the slamming of the door at the end of the hallway and some nasty looks from the inhabitants of the other cells.

Odin wouldn’t really banish me, would he? Fuck, he totally would. Okay, so maybe attempting stealing from the vaults was a dumb idea but I needed gold, okay? It was important and stealing from the palace seemed like a good idea at the time. Turns out it was the dumbest idea I’d ever had. Second dumbest was taking a questionable loan to pay for my sister to see the healers when I very much couldn’t afford to repay the loan.

They wouldn’t go after a woman who was just trying to take care of her little sister, right? Oh, was I wrong. My ribs are still healing from the beating they gave me when I couldn’t make the second payment then they demanded it be paid in full. That’s insanity! Like I could actually come up with that kind of money in a month.

So that’s how I got here. In a cell. Under the palace. Waiting to be banished in the morning. Where are they sending me? Well that’s the kicker- Odin’s a sadistic little bitch and is sending me to a spinning Popsicle called Jotunheim.

Yeah, I was pissed when he gave his ruling. And now as I bang my fists on the barrier and yell at the closed door I’m still very clearly pissed off. My voice echos off the walls and comes back to me, taunting me. I screamed and yelled and hell, I’ll be honest- I cried. This wasn’t what I signed up for. This isn’t what I wanted.

I just wanted to make sure my sister was taken care of. That’s all I wanted.

Morning came, or at least I assumed it was morning. I was awakened- rudely mind you- by the sound of the door slamming opened and the footsteps of the guards. They didn’t even give me time to fully blink the fog from my mind before they had me up and slapped the chains on me again.

“Is this really necessary?” Okay so apparently they are not in the chatting mood. “What’s for breakfast?”

Nothing apparently. At least I assume as such since they don’t answer. Instead of granting me some verbal communication or maybe a muffin they just drag me through the halls. It would be a great chance to sight see if it wasn’t for the fact that I was being dragged by chains. Oh, in case you had any doubts, being dragged through halls by chains in the hands of pissed off guards first thing in the morning sucks.

I didn’t start panicking until we passed the throne room. Sure, this could still be fine. Then we left the palace and I knew I was lying to myself as I kept insisting it would be fine. Everything was fine. I gave up the lie when we reached the Bifrost and my footsteps on the smooth surface seemed to be deafening in my ears.

It seemed to take no time to cross the bridge. Odin waited for us, for them to present me to him standing tall and noble even in his old age. I never really found him to be all that intimidating of a ruler. Now however? He fucking terrifies me as I’m unchained and the guards step away from me.  He doesn’t even say a word to us, just nods to Heimdall who pushed the sword, Hofund into place.

“You will be banished. Should he not kill you, you may return if and when my son, Loki’s banishment ends.”

“What the hell does that even mean?!” I may be shrieking at this point. “They say he kills anyone to step foot on that wasteland- You do know that, right?!”

They couldn’t be serious. Odin was just trying to scare me. He wouldn’t. I didn’t realize I was babbling aloud right away but it didn’t matter anyway. With a strong twist of his hand Heimdall opened the Bifrost and I was surrounded by lights.

I really, really hope that the last words Odin heard of me was my indignant swearing because fuck him. Fuck him and his shitty ass punishment. Fuck him.

“Fuck you!” The words echoed back at me as my feet settled on the hard ground only to slip out from under me. Why did I slip? Well because Odin’s bitch ass sent me to a world largely made of ice and couldn’t even be bothered to give me proper gear.

“Who do we have here?” A smooth voice filled the air and I’m pretty sure my blood turned to ice. “Has Odin sent me a gift?”

“I’m just lost. Care to send me back to somewhere warmer?” Turning to face him, I tried to brace myself to come face to face with a monster.

Oh, that’s not what I expected. You know, when they call him a prince turned monster you expect a certain kind of monstrosity to the appearance. Odin had all images of him removed and it had been a good three centuries since the dark prince was banished. I was young so very young when he last stepped foot in the palace, hardly more than a baby at the time. No one ever would talk about him beyond telling stories of how heartless he was, how he had tried to take over Midgard. We were always told that a man’s appearance was a reflection of his heart.

So why the hell was THAT standing in front of me. Taking in his tall frame and long inky black hair my mind stopped.

“There is no leaving here and you most definitely didn’t end up here by way of some accident. It’s safe to assume you’ve been sent here. Now the only question is why.” He was circling as he spoke and god damn was I confused.

“I tried to steal from the vaults.” Why the hell did I tell him that?

“Pretty but dumb. You’ll at least offer a way to pass the time.” As he spoke he simply turned on his heels and walked away, the sound of his boot heels echoing across the expanse of ice, snow and stone.

I didn’t want to follow him. I really didn’t but what other choice did I have? Where the hell else would I go?

“Perhaps too dumb.” His voice carried well over the snow and ice, making me almost believe that he had not intended for me to hear. I didn’t buy it for one second.

“Excuse me?” That seemed to get my feet moving and I jogged up to him, falling in step behind him.

“Perhaps not.” Oh how it pissed me off that he didn’t even glance down at me.

“Where are we going?” I ask and he didn’t answer me because of course he’s not going to answer me.

We walked for what felt like forever. The sun sank lower and lower in the sky. The sunset was pretty enough I guess but I was far too cold to give a shit. It got darker and darker and the stars came out to litter the sky. It got colder and colder as time passed.

Ripping the ribbon from my hair I reveled in what little warmth I could find in the mass of curls. I hated my hair all my life. I was teased for the strawberry blonde color and the wild curls that couldn’t be tamed but right now I was thankful for it. It didn’t provide me much warmth but it was better than nothing.

“I may die if it gets any colder.” I nearly bit my lip saying the words as my teeth chattered. “Are we going somewhere warm? Do you have supplies? I guess you would have to.”

“Shut up or I will leave you here.” The man turned and snapped, a snarl marring his pale face.

“Fuck you, Loki. I’m cold.”

Maybe snapping back wasn’t the brightest idea. In a shimmer of green he was gone. Well, that worked out well for me. Alone in the frozen wasteland all I could do was keep moving forward and pray that it was where I should be going.

The ache in my feet and fingers got worse as the night rolled on. The shivering had long been violent as my body tried to produce any heat it could. I very much wanted to stop and rest. To do so would be fatal, I know that much. I’m not an idiot but god is it tempting. I couldn’t keep going as the world went black. I didn’t even feel the ice as I hit it.

Loki looked down at the woman in his arms. Her mass of curls was a color not often seen yet it fit her. When he left her, he hadn’t expected her to keep walking. What he expected was for her to cry out, beg for him to come back and help her. She was a fierce one.

Kneeling, he set her down on a mass of furs. She should be thankful that he was allowing her to use his cot let alone that he saved her life. Part of him had wanted to leave her for dead. He didn’t need another mouth to feed in such a barren wasteland but the promise of entertainment and company was too strong to deny.

He’d been alone for so long. The others that had been sent to him by his father begged, whined and cried upon seeing where they were. This one however, she sassed him.

God damn does my back hurt. Scratch that, I decide as I sit up. Everything hurts. Holding my head in my hands, I try to remember exactly what happened and why I felt like I’d been trapped in a stampede.

The crackling of fire drew her attention. It was warm and doing a fine job at fighting back the chill that clung to the air. I was laying on a bed of what seemed to be something similar to straw and feather down and covered by thick furs with blankets to match. There was only one space made for resting like this and I couldn’t help but wonder if he had given me his bed.

I very well could have froze to death. I very well should be dead and yet… I’m not.

“You know, you’re rather cute when you’re freezing. Don’t make me regret going back for you.” His smooth voice filled the cavern and I hated that I found it such a relaxing sound.

“You saved me.”

“I did. Again, don’t make me regret it.” One deep breath. Then another. It would do no good to get pissed off at him and end up thrown on my ass back out in the cold.

“Thank you.” See, I can play nice.

“Why are you here?” I watched as he placed some sort of game, already skinned and prepped for cooking over the fire.

“Odin sent me, I tried to steel from him. We’ve already had this conversation.” The look he gives me makes it clear that wasn’t what he was asking.

“I knew that much. Why?” Well at least he didn’t outright call me an idiot.

“I don’t know? To kill me? Maybe he counted on you letting me die? Maybe he expected that you’d kill me? I half expected it myself.”

“Why would I kill you? Let you die perhaps but kill you without provocation?”

“Well because…” His voice cut my words off.

“Because I’m a monster. I’m the monster who tried to take over Midgard. Is that all they are telling you?”

“Aren’t you?” Oh my god I’ve got a death wish. I didn’t actually ask him that.

“What is your name?” Well that’s an odd response. When I didn’t answer quick enough he repeated his question harsher. “Your name. What is it?”

“Gwen. Gwendoline but most people call me Gwen. Why?”

“If I am to share my cave with you, share my fire with you and feed you I should have something to call you, Gwen.” Okay that made sense.

“So you’ll let me stay with you?” I sound way more hopeful then I’d like. I would much rather seem uncaring but what can I do? I’d freeze to death if not for his kindness.

“So long as you stay out of my way and do as you are told.” That seemed doable but the look in his eyes still made the blood run cold in my veins.

“This is your bed?”

“It is indeed.”

“Where will I sleep?” A bad feeling was taking root within me.

“In the bed.” He looked over the fire at me and that gleam in his eye. He was a predator looking at his next meal.

“But this is your bed?”

“It is.” He stood and somehow I didn’t realize how he towered over me until now. Something about this wasn’t good. Something about this wasn’t right. It was wrong. Very, very wrong.

“It is my bed and you are in it. My little would be thief, you’ll not be staying here while I support you, while I feed you, while I give you my bed without giving me something in return.”

“I’ll make my own bed.” I hate how my voice shakes.

“You know how?” feigning an impressed expression, he spoke while stepping around the fire. “You clearly know how to hunt as well? And what foods are safe to eat?”

“Well… no. But-”

“So I’d have to teach you. I’ve no patience for teaching such things. You can pay me for providing for you in… other ways.” Reaching out he tucked a wild curl behind my ear with a surprisingly soft touch. “You will entertain me to earn your keep.”

“How do I know I can trust you?”

“I’ve brought you food. I’ve brought you warmth. Without me to care for you, you will die. What choice do you have, truly? Disappoint me or bore me and find out what it feels like to freeze to death.” He had a very good fucking point. It was him or die.

“What do you mean by ‘entertain you’?” The wicked grin split his face and gave a hit at the madness that was hiding just underneath. He was just what they said. He was a monster. The only difference was that the beast hid in the skin of a man.

“Darling, I think you know exactly what I mean.”

Tag List: @bambamwolf87, @winterisakiller, @dangertoozmanykids101, @alexakeyloveloki, @0-0-0-0-0-0-0-7, @missaphrodite23, @theoneanna, @j-u-s-t-4

#loki x ofc #loki x original female character #loki x original character #loki x oc #loki x reader

[misunderstood-shadows]

Prompt List

Hey guys, I am up for writing requests for all my fandoms (Supernatural, Teen Wolf (Derek Hale only), The Originals (Elijah Mikaelson only) or Game of Thrones (Jaime Lannister only).

Here is a list I generates, please feel free to request multiple or ones not listed!

UPDATE: I have added in more that I stole from @persuasivus :) The new ones are BOLDED

Don’t leave me”

I have something to tell you”

I only have a month left with you so I’m trying to make it count.

I fell in love and now I don’t want you to go but it’s too late.

‘I’m already dead’’

I got you hurt so I completely cut off all ties to keep your safe

You would always randomly pull me up to dance or just gently hold me while swaying but now I’m standing here alone

” I mean I know I’m supposed to kill you but you’re kind of hot”

The First and Last Time (title)

“Not all love is gentle. Sometimes it’s gritty and dirty and possessive, sometimes it’s not supposed to be careful or soft at all. Sometimes it feels like teeth.”

“A soulmate is: Well, it’s like a best friend, but more. It’s the one person in the world that knows you better than anyone else. It’s someone who makes you a better person. Actually, they don’t make you a better person, you do that yourself because they inspire you. A soul mate is someone who you carry with you forever. It’s the one person who knew you and accepted you and believed in you before anyone else did or when no one else would. And no matter what happens, you’ll always love her. Nothing can ever change that. Make sense?”

“Do you want me to leave?”

“I swear it won’t happen again.”

“I’m not jealous.”

“You can’t keep doing this.”

“I’m going to take care of you, okay?”

“You can’t die. Please don’t die.”

‘’You did what?!”

“Were you ever going to tell me?”

“Don’t ask me that.”

“I might have had a few shots.”

“What’s with the box?‘’

“Say it!’’

“I could kiss you right now!”

“Are you done with that?”

“Are you still awake…?”

“Excuse you?”

“This is all your fault!”

“I shouldn’t be in love with you.”

“I could kill you right now!”

“Just admit I’m right.”

“That doesn’t even make sense.”

“That’s irrational.”

“Just pretend to be my date.”

“Are you really going to leave without asking me the question you’ve been dying to ask me?”

“When you love someone, you don’t just stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy… even then. Especially then!”

“I think I’ve been holding myself from falling in love with you all over again.”

“I’m not going to apologise for this. Not anymore.”

“That’s almost exactly the opposite of what I meant.”

“It must be hard with your sense of direction, never being able to find your way to a decent pickup line.”

“Can I sit here? The other tables are full.”

“You weren’t supposed to laugh!”

“This is, by far, the dumbest thing you’ve ever done.”

“I’m not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.”

“These stars are nothing compared to the ones I’ve seen in your eyes.”

“Before I do this, I need you to know that I have always loved you.”

“Did I say that out loud?”

“Do you think they could have loved me?”

“Everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy.”

“How long have you been standing there?”

“Have I ever lied to you?”

“Have you lost your fucking mind?”

“His ego is so visible; I can almost watch it grow.”

“I am not losing you again!”

“I don’t know why I’m crying.”

“I had a nightmare about you and I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

“I just need to be alone right now.”

“When I picture myself happy… It’s with you.”

“I made a mistake.”

“I may be an idiot, but I’m your idiot.”

“I need you to forgive me.”

“I see the way you look at me when you think I’m not looking.”

“I think I’m in love with you and that scares me half to death.”

“I’m flirting with you.”

“I’m not good enough for you.”

“I fell in love with my best friend.”

“I’m sorry, what? I keep getting lost in your eyes.”

“I’m up to the challenge.”

“I’ve been in love with you my entire life. Ever since the day I first met you.”

“I’m yours.”

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to seduce me.”

“If you go anywhere near them, you’ll have to deal with me!”

“It’s okay to cry…”

“What do you mean? It’s exciting!”

“Talk to me.”

“Look at me—just breathe, okay?”

“Look, I don’t have much time, but I wanted to say I love you.”

“Oh my god! You’re in love with them!”

“Well, this is where I live.”

“We finish it the same way we started—together.”

“What are you afraid of?”

“You are the single best thing that has ever happened to me.”

“You deserve so much better.”

“You don’t have to stay.”

“You don’t know you the way I do.”

“You fainted, straight into my arms. You know, if you wanted my attention, you didn’t have to go to such extremes.”

“You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you.”

“You shouldn’t have even been there!”

“You weren’t supposed to hear that.”

“You’re safe now. I’ve got you.”

“Teach me?”

“We’re in the middle of a thunderstorm and you want to stop and feel the rain?”

“Looks like we’ll be stuck here for a while.”

“Just once.”

“I can’t believe you talked me into this.”

“It’s not what it looks like.”

“I got you a present.”

“Hey! I was gonna eat that!”

“See, now, what that so bad?”.”

“You’re the best part of me.”

“I don’t want to think about what I’d be like without you.”

“Can I hold your hand?”

“Let’s move in together.”

“It’s a real shame nobody asked for your opinion.”

“What time is it?”

“Just wait a second.”

“Here, let me.”

“You’re so cute when you pout like that.”

“Hold me back!’

”I don’t care what they said, it doesn’t mean shit!”

I adore you.” 

Do I look like I give a fuck?

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on you again for taking advantage of my compassionate and forgiving nature! How dare you.

Me? Overreacting? Probably.

I used to be passive aggressive, but now I’m aggressively passive. Don’t mess with me kiddo. I’ll be right here. I’ll fucking forgive you.

A: What are you doing? B: Avoiding. A: Avoiding what? B: Everything.

This was impulsive. Probably shouldn’t have done it. WHO CARES?

You’re really cute and it’s ruining my life because I think about kissing you all the time.

A: It’s okay, I’m not mad. A (5 mins later): Actually? You can go to Hell.

I hate people who get personally offended when I’m in a bad mood, like ‘I’m not mad at you (name), I’m mad at the world!

A to A: Bitch, if you actually applied yourself in like…anything, you’d be dangerous ,damn my lazy ass.

I don’t know what I’m feeling, but there’s a lot of it.

Not to dictate your life, but drop your shitty friends.

That sounds like responsibility and I want no part in it.

Why am I better than everyone? Jesus, life’s hard.

A: How do you make someone holy? B: You beat the hell out of them.

A: I’m amazed of how insignificant we actually are. B: Not me, I’m important.

If anyone can do it, then someone who isn’t me can do it.

In the old days of one week ago things were different. Now look at us - slightly older than we were back then, other clothes and such.

I’m not going to claim that I know everything, I’m simply going to act like it.

You have to “see it to believe it”, so as long as I’m not looking I don’t have to believe in anything.

I’m visualising a powerful mystical energy at the moment.

If I don’t learn anything from my mistakes then I don’t have to consider them mistakes in the first place.

Why the hell is there always this one weak bitch in the group that isn’t down with murder? No offence though.

A: If you ever feel stupid, or weak, or powerless, just remember that I, am not. B: Thanks. A: You’re welcome.

I wanna do dirty stuff with you like farming.

A: What are you reading? B: 10 tips for beautiful hair the Government doesn’t want you to know. A: What the fuck?

A: I’m tired of these constant near-death experiences. B: (opinional) don’t be a whiny bitch, bitch.

God has a favourite comedy tv series and it’s called “my life”.

Sometimes all you can say is “yikes” and then just move the fuck on.

Why is everyone having their mid-life crisis at like 19?

It’s a beautiful day to give me money, honey.

Women aren’t complicated, you’re just dumb.

Well this social situation isn’t going the way I acted it out in the shower.

No offence, but my favourite hobby is staying hydrated and beautiful.

I’m actually pretty cool if you give me like 5 tries to get it right.

Today I’m feeling cloudy with a chance of sarcastic.

Be prepared to add a cute emoji next to my name in your contacts list because you’re gonna love me.

A: Babe, I’m not grabbing your boob, I’m grabbing your heart. B: That’s my right boob though. A: Babe.

Every machine is a smoke machine if you operate it wrong enough.

What makes me feel like a failure the most is when I can’t remember the answet to a Harry Potter trivia question.

I hate it when I’m really nice…And then people are just not that nice? Like what the fuck.

Don’t look at me in that tone of voice.

Is your name candle? Because I wanna blow you.

So, was that just awkward eye contact, or were we checking each other out?

You know, having feelings is ruining my reputation of being a heartless bitch.

My turn ons? Well I don’t know, maybe some fucking common sense.

I may seem like an angry person on the surface, but deep inside I’m actually angrier.

I ship me and that boat.

Listen. I did mean to make you upset and I do think your opinions are shit. But you’re still my friend so it’s okay.

Because my two moods are like glitter and death.

My kink is closing the fucking bathroom door, because no one wants to see you fucking pee!

If I go to Hell I’m gonna constantly torture everyone by continuously asking if it’s hot in here or is it just me.

Oh my God are you seeing this shit?

Graduated top of my class from Hogwarts school of bitchcraft and misery.

A (shows up at your door 10 years after we had an argument): aND ANOTHER THING

I’ll betray all of you in the Hunger Games.

Well, well, well, if it isn’t my old friend, the dawning realisation that I fucked up real bad.

I’m a screamer. Not sexually, just life in general.

I’m not racist, I hate everyone equally.

Tell me I’m cute or something, so I can roll my eyes at you, but then blush when

I think about it later.

You know when your hair is greasy and it makes you feel so bad about yourself?

And your entire life. Everything is awful because my hair is greasy.

True love is having a crush even when he got a haircut you know.

Emotions? You know, I just push my tear back into my eye and tell it “Not now, you little bastard!”.

Are we gonna hold hands, or what?

My soul leaving my body, but with one of those slide whistle sound effects.

A: I love you. B: What if I got a bowl cut?

I should really stop planning my future around being rich or famous…but I can’t.

I’m aggressively thinking about having sex with you and trying to keep a straight face at the same time. Do you know how hard that is?

My opinion is no.

Did you fall from heaven, because so did Satan.

What to hear a fairytale? Once upon a time you weren’t such a little bitch.

Which is messier - my life or my hair?

How can you face the problem when the problem is your face?

Sometimes I wonder what it feels like to know what THE FUCK IS GOING ON.

Read a girl who dates books.

My hands are cold let me put them in your pants.

I’m sorry, you must be at least level 4 friend to unlock my tragic backstory.

My therapist once told me that I have this obsession with seeking revenge…we’ll see about that.

You have lips, I have lips…interesting.

Do my dark undereye circles and unwashed hair turn you on?

#prompts #please request #imagines #fanfiction #fanfics #fic