#but i do like the thought of the wol living for them both + he can feel some part of the weight of complete isolation for a century

[alackofghosts]

wolbert week day 1 - ghost

#wolbertweek2023 #Ardbert #warrior of light #fanart #speedpaint #i draw sometimes #Final Fantasy XIV #getting across the um. game canon? state of things is way harder with art alone hence why i usually settle for Not That #but i do like the thought of the wol living for them both + he can feel some part of the weight of complete isolation for a century #but also ardbert's relief at not being alone anymore. and they are together and know how much it means for them both. #so even if ardbert is not really Tangible for him anymore it's still. good and important. yknow? #...honestly no clue what it is abt them that makes me want to see things in brighter colours but there you have it

[picaroroboto]

For the past couple days, I've been unfortunately cursed with thinking about Zenos yae Galvus. I don't even particularly like him - not that I dislike him either, Zenosfuckers you can put your scythes down - but it seems to me like a lot of the fandom either greatly misunderstands him, or doesn't even care to try to understand him, which from an objective standpoint as someone who cares deeply about writing in video games kind of pisses me off. But I'm more pissed about the fact that I'm apparently going to keep thinking about this issue until I actually write a character analysis of him.

Q: "But, what even is there to analyze with him? Isn't he all about wanting to fight the WoL and nothing else?"

Well, you wouldn't be wrong with saying that. That motivation is at the forefront of his character, and even if you look closer, everything about him comes back to either "violence" or "lack of understanding of others". But there are more meaningful sides to his deceptively simple character. That question of meaning is what I really want to look into - what does his character mean, what symbolic or thematic role does he play in this story?

Q: "Better question: why are you posting this on your art blog/Fate meta sideblog?"

Good question, with a stupid answer: I have all of 6 followers on my FF14 sideblog, and around 150 here. Let's go under the cut so they don't have to read a wall of text, unless they want to.

When you look at and compare FF14's villains, you can see a very clear change, no doubts thanks to the change in main writers. ARR Gaius and Thordan are more or less two-bit villains - Gaius's memeable iconic Praetorium speech gives us insight into how fascists try to justify themselves but little into Gaius's actual personality, while all Thordan gets as far as depth of character is an NPC in a sidequest remarking that he wasn't always a bad person and was probably doing what he thought best for his nation. Nidhogg is a little more understandable, since revenge is a relatable motivation to anyone who's been hurt by others. In Stormblood, Zenos and Yotsuyu are both presented as deserving of pity even as they do terrible things. Come Shadowbringers and Endwalker though, the story takes a greater interest on why villains like Emet-Selch and Elidibus do the things they do, and the player is allowed more options to try to understand them and see how similar they are to the WoL. Hell, Hermes and the Endsinger are barely "villains" at all, with the level of sympathy the story shows them.

What I'm getting to here is that Zenos, with half his arc in Stormblood and the rest in Endwalker, is sort of caught in the middle of this shift. He played the role of the rival character in Stormblood really well, but come Endwalker, he's standing on a stage full of heroes and villains with grand causes and deep motivations, as the guy whose sole motivation is fighting for pleasure.

It seems he's not unaware of this contrast himself - when Jullus confronts him for ruining Garlemald for no good reason, he retorts with "Would you be happier had I a good reason?" Zenos makes no attempt to justify his own actions and doesn't care that his reason seems incomprehensible and unforgivable to others. Yet in that same cutscene Alisaie hits him with the fact that if he keeps living solely for pleasure, he'll die alone. When next we see Zenos, he's alone at the Royal Menagerie waxing philosophical about what he really sought in the battle with the WoL.

See, what really motivates Zenos isn't just the thrill of battle - this guy has gotten Battle High and the joy of human connection confused. Really.

Even before he gets so perturbed by the idea of dying alone, there's other suggestions, like his proposal of friendship to the WoL when they fought in Stormblood, and then later his dying words in which he explains that he never understood others - at his core, he's just lonely. I know there's an official side story that tells it, but you don't need to know the exact details to glean that he had some sort of tragic backstory. Sad, but not a surprise, considering he's the prince of the Garlean Empire, raised to take the throne and continue the Empire's legacy of violence.

At his core, he's a very lonely person, but also a thing of violence, raised using violent methods for the purpose of causing more violence. Violence is how he lives and breathes - the only way he gets any sort of connection with others in a world of hurting and being hurt is the brief connection warriors dueling as equals can sometimes find. Don't deny that this sort of connection exists - FF14 is great at making fights that are both fun and tell a story. Hence, why he goes crazy for the WoL, but also refers to them as "friend". In their fights, he senses (or thinks he senses) similarity between him and them. Beneath all the madness is a pure, genuine joy in seeing the self reflected in the other...but he also instantly gets on the train to projection-town, population Zenos, and assumes the WoL is exactly like him, ignoring or failing to notice that they also fight for deeper meanings. The worst part is, he doesn't even notice that what he's actually seeking in fighting them is connection until Alisaie's aforementioned callout.

So he goes and angsts for a while, then turns into a dragon again and flies across the universe to help us kick the Endsinger's tail feathers, then issues his challenge for that duel he'd been longing for. But what's changed is that he starts with a question - "Such pleasures you sought for their own sake, and for no other reason, is that not so?". Dying after the duel, he's full of questions too: "Was your life a gift or a burden? Did you find fulfillment?" Alisaie's suggestion that he'd die alone actually spurred him to realize what he actually sought in the WoL, and now he's asking all these questions in an attempt to, for the first time in his life, genuinely connect with another human being.

The questions aren't important just because they're a sign of how Zenos has changed in Endwalker - they're actually the thematic heart of Endwalker! ARR may have had "Answers" as it's theme, but EW is the expac of questions. Namely the biggest question of all: What is the meaning of life? Different characters have different answers to that, leading to the grand-scale symbolic conflict being the Endsinger's despair - her belief that there is no meaning in life - versus whatever reasons the WoL chooses to live for, left, as always, up to player interpretation.

When you look deeper, Zenos isn't actually as out-of-place in the symbolic conflict as he first seems. His depressed worldview - that metaphor about drowning in a swamp again - seems to align with the Endsinger's view about life being meaningless. But he aids the WoL in defeating her. In that way he serves as part of the answer to her question about the meaning of life. He may have resented life at times, but he still found meaning in chasing pleasure. Not the strongest or most beautiful reason to deny oblivion, perhaps, but it did enable him to help the WoL triumph. I think of Zenos's philosophy as being connected to the concept of "Amor Fati"...largely because this quote explaining it sounds like something he'd say, or at least agree with on some level:

"and if our soul has trembled with happiness and sounded like a harp string just once, all eternity was needed to produce this one event—and in this single moment of affirmation all eternity was called good, redeemed, justified, and affirmed."

So he does have a meaningful role in Endwalker, as the "Amor Fati" against the Endsinger's "Memento Mori". I think that in this the story shows that his reason for living, while somewhat shallow, is not necessarily a morally wrong thing in and of itself (setting aside for a second all the people he hurt in his pursuit of that). It's just that, since it is a lonely pursuit that denies everything except for his target, it still feels empty. The core of the counterargument against the Endsinger's despair is that both pleasure and fulfillment are necessary to live a meaningful life in a meaningless universe, and that's why Zenos is here in Endwalker. Why he even exists in the story in the first place.

Even if you're one of the people who deeply hates Zenos...well, you probably wouldn't have read this whole thing if you did, but I still think it's important to read into characters you dislike, because every character in a story is written for a reason. Plus, trying to understand even their worst enemies is one of the WoL's key traits as of ShB and EW. With his last breaths, Zenos was trying to understand the WoL too - carrying this understanding of him with you as we move into our next adventures is the least you can do for your "friend".

#ff14 #ffxiv #zenos yae galvus #zenos viator galvus #endwalker #ffxiv meta #endwalker spoilers #meta posting on my art blog #god why did i spend my afternoon on this all this proves is that I need to be put in an English class again purely for enrichment purposes

[gatheredfates]

For the NPC ask - as the WoL, did Kor go the First? Was there anyone special there for them?

Have your followers send you NPCs and you describe your OC's feelings/relationship to that NPC! I feel like there are lot of NPC's I could talk about, because SHB is hands-down my favourite expansion and where I have the most lore developed for Kor, but on the back of my Minfilia ask I thought I'd talk about Mini!filia. Or, more appropriately, Ryne.

A haunting can be a lovely thing if you let it.

Kor always felt haunted, but not like this; not by an apparition that stood among her companions and felt solid in her hands; not by one who seldom smiled, who shrunk back — who felt herself to be the crudest simulacrum, a mockery of the woman they loved — and their actions, whether intentional or not, reinforced it.

What was it like being a machination of fate? A dozen little girls over a hundred years trained, mentored and dying for a doomed world; the spark of a ghost instilling itself in the babe for the threadbare hope that she would be different. Her soul was bruised before she left the womb, divots made by dozens of fingerprints pulling her in a thousand directions (to obliteration and inaction; to war or strife).

"Something called out to me. Someone I had to meet. You."

For fuck sake, she knew Minfilia's faith in Hydaelyn was unwavering, but to what end? How much could light proclaim sanctity while it drenched itself in the blood of children?

The answer, Kor would come to know, was that light waded through the mire like all the rest; not holy, not sacred, not divine. It was orderly in its machinations, but it was not good. A body in its ocean could still drown in it. When she coughed up its ichor, she was reminded of all the times Llymlaen thought it prudent she take a mouthful of brine — it all burned in her throat all the same.

"She's a fucking child," she chastised Thancred in the night. They'd had their oppositions as companions, but never like this — not for a haunting, a sister reimagined. She knew he loathed her concept and how she pantomimed a ghost. She knew he pitied her, sacrificial lamb to fate none of them signed up for. She knew there was a part of him, however small, that hoped his Minfilia would emerge bright and whole and alive again.

"Tell me." It was the silent question between them, the one he refused to ask and the one she'd never answer, "If this was your sister, what would you do?"

Koret was never a perfect sister. In fact, she wasn't a great sister at all. She wasn't any better than him and she knew it. Rational and a degree of separation could easily persuade her that it was not this Minfilia's fault for the accident of her birth. If it were Lily, however?

Well, they both knew her for a hypocrite.

But Minfilia? Oh, this was one was a lot like Lily. When she came out of her shell Kor saw how spirited she was; how she laughed with Alisae and comforted Alphinaud; how she brightened at Urianger's presence and admired Y'shtola's resolve. She was young and naïve, but she was no pushover. For the fright of her gift and the sacrifices before her, she was determined to be of use. She wanted to save her world and the people in it, even when everyone she'd grown up around preferred her in her cage — a songbird from another time.

When it came to it, the final choice of who should live (to laugh, to love!), her little heart beat so loudly as she declared "Me. I want to live. I want to fight."

From Minfilia to Ryne. How liberating it must have felt to finally have your identity. How relieving it must be to be loved for who you are. A lovely haunting to a beautiful, breathing sister.

Because that's what Ryne is to Kor. Half daughter, half sister. Try as she might, that maternal thread always found itself tangling in the youngest of their groups — ensnaring whether she wanted it or not — and it was so easy to envelop her in a family when she never had the opportunity to hold one. They were certainly not nuclear, and hardly ideal, but they were hers. They were hers and they were good.

Kor loves Ryne. It breaks her heart that she had to be left behind, but she is also comforted in the fact that she is one of the strongest girls she knows. She took her fate in both hands and charged, knowing her place but not letting her be defined by it. She has faced adversity and kept her sweetness, a trait admired by the Captain — even if she can't personally fathom it.

Yes, a haunting can be a lovely thing if you let it. A living thing, however? Well, that's even lovelier.

#｡･ﾟﾟ･ — 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫 : koret #｡･ﾟﾟ･ — sea answers things #i could have written SO MUCH MORE #but this would have easily turned into a novel #so i will grip my chair with force #all of eden? #post shb? #hell even the kinda latter half of shb #it's my favourite expac i could talk about it for days #BUT #i hope this suffices :pleading:

[starrysnowdrop]

Endwalked!

Thoughts on Hali’s EW Journey

Hali has officially finished her Endwalker journey! 6.0 is done and the 6.X patches and all the EW side content await! I have many thoughts about this, and it felt so different playing it through on Hali vs Yume, so I have an overwhelming urge to tell you all how it went!

Because I will be long winded I’m sure, plus the many spoilers, it will be under the cut.

First of all, I felt from the very beginning of the expansion that this felt like this was Hali’s story, and finishing 6.0 solidified for me that Hali was meant to be my main WoL and Hali’s Unsundered was Azem.

Why is that? Well, I had played through the entire MSQ on Yume before I even created Hali, and I can tell you that though I personally was emotionally invested in the EW story before, it still didn’t feel like it really fit Yume that much. She was not as connected to the events as Hali is, and in several ways. Yume is still way more connected to SB and ShB, as she is the one who takes on the light from the lightwardens and has permanent changes to her body and aether as a result of the light corruption, not to mention her connection to G’raha and all.

Hali, on the other hand, is absolutely the spotlight WoL of HW and EW. For HW, it’s her finally facing the fact that those she cares about can get hurt and even die, and sometimes there’s nothing she can do about it, ie: Haurchefant and Ysayle. Secondly, HW is when her story with Aymeric largely happens, of course.

For EW, it feels especially personal for Hali for a number of reasons. First, she goes back to her home of Old Sharlayan and Labyrinthos for the first time since she left home without a word to her parents. She sneaks into Sharlayan under an alias and wears a disguise, but she is still caught in Labyrinthos and must face her parents and the Forum for her being a fugitive. Hali is confronted with the knowledge that her parents were both directly involved in the plot to escape from the Final Days, which Hali has a hard time with. She is very angry that her parents kept the secret from her for her whole life, and she is also upset at them for trying to convince her to leave with them instead of staying and fighting for everyone. For Hali, EW is when Hali must face her past, and try to reconcile with her parents in order to save the star and make a brighter future for all.

Another element that is personal to Hali is her connection with Fandaniel, specifically her past life as Azem when she and Hermes were once in a romantic and sexual relationship. Though these two souls were once in love, they were torn apart and went on completely different paths. While Hali doesn’t have any romantic or sexual interest in Fandaniel or Hermes, she does get a deja vu feeling when she is around them, which she believes might be her soul recognizing his soul from their past lives. She feels sorry for how deeply in despair Fandaniel/Amon/Hermes was, and she wishes that she could have helped him, but in the end, she gives him hope that he can find the answers in his next life.

I also found that Hali is much more connected to dynamis than Yume is, especially when in her canon, Hali almost turns into a blasphemy herself after her confession of love to Aymeric and feeling an overwhelming panic take over her with Aymeric’s reaction. Hali feels her emotions very deeply and wears her heart on her sleeve, so her journey of discovering what dynamis is and then using it to keep the light of hope alive in Ultima Thule, and in her battle with the Endsinger, it all just felt so satisfying to play through. Not just her being a Warrior of Light, but Hali as a person went on this incredible journey of self discovery from her leaving Sharlayan and coming to Eorzea in ARR, to saving the star and finding happiness with the man she loves in EW.

Endwalker overall was incredibly enjoyable on Hali’s playthrough, but the one thing that rubbed me the wrong way was the last solo duty when the WoL fights Zenos. When I went through it on Yume, it felt so unnecessary, but it did not feel too jarring because of who Yume is, and she would understand Zenos. Hali, on the other hand, would not.

Why is that? Well, Hali is not a warrior like Yume is, as she’s first and foremost a healer. Yes she has some really powerful offensive spells and abilities that she can use to hold her own in battle, but it’s not her main focus nor her goal. She’s of the mindset that she’s there to ensure that everyone comes back alive, and she would not want to fight Zenos. In fact, she’d more likely try to bring him back with her and then let him go, because she not only would not want to fight Zenos and 1) kill him, 2) give him the satisfaction of a fight because why would she reward him after everything he’s done, and 3) she’s not going to put herself in danger once the Endsinger is dealt with. Hali is coming home to Aymeric in one piece damn it, and she just would not fight Zenos and take that chance of not keeping her promise. So yeah, overall I just hated the last solo duty on Hali’s playthrough.

I think that’s all the blabbing I’ll do for now. I just wanted to say that I’m glad that I got to experience EW all over again and on a character that really felt personal to me and who really was meant to go through that journey. If you made it this far, thank you so much for reading!! 💖

#ffxiv endwalker #endwalker spoilers #ffxiv 6.0 #ffxiv headcanons #hali aloke #oc: drops of jupiter #getting this out there before I start working on the swap gift and the prompt

[woltourney]

ROUND 2 / SIDE A / POLL 2

Posey (@motley-ember) v. Eleutherios (@trans-estinien)

Posey:

q. What is your WoL name and pronouns? a. Posey, he/him!

q. What is your WoL's species? a. Hrothgar

q. What is your WoL's class? Or classes? a. Paladin! (Additional note from submitter: Culinarian)

q. What data centre/server are you on, if you want people to find you? a. Phoenix

q. Tell us a bit about your WoL! a. Posey is a big softie and massive himbo who loves cooking, but loves his friends even more. He was trained by his grandmother in the art of the blade, and enjoys using all of his skills for the good of the world! The food that he makes is said to be better than what is served to the Sultana in the royal palace.

q. Why should YOU win? (Answer IC!) a. I don't really care if I win, but I thought this was a good way to make new friends! My Baba said that I should put myself out there more!

q. Anything else you wanna add? a. He's gay and he has a pet teacup pig. He WILL try and become friends with anyone and everyone.

Eleutherios:

q. What is your WoL name and pronouns? a. Eleutherios, He/Him

q. What is your WoL's species? a. Unsundered Ancient

q. What is your WoL's class? Or classes? a. Currently (as of 5.3 onwards) Eleutherios' main job is Dark Knight

q. What data centre/server are you on, if you want people to find you? a. Eleutherios Azem on Sargatanas, Aether!

q. Tell us a bit about your WoL! a. Have you ever thought "Huh, I wonder how the story of Final Fantasy XIV would change if Azem was never sundered?" WELL DO I HAVE THE WARRIOR OF LIGHT FOR YOU! Introducing Eleutherios! The lovable Azem who spent his days travelling Etheirys, caring for its people, and annoying the Convocation. Until everything fell apart, of course. On the eve of the Sundering, he denounced both the Convocation and Venat, choosing to find his own path to end the Final Days. Paths that didn't involve summoning gods or killing half of the star's population and then some. But Venat and the others had chosen their courses, and fate had been set. Now, Eleutherios should have died when Hydaelyn broke the world. But he did not. Why? Well, because of the timeline splitting in two. When? When a traveller from the future arrived in Elpis to learn the truth of the Final Days, of course. This traveller? Eleutherios himself. Hydaelyn had spared him from Her spell, making him Her chosen, in the same vein as the Unsundered Ascians being chosen to carry out Zodiark's will. Eleutherios believed the Ascians' plan to restore the world to what it once was foolish. Their people were dead. Nothing can fix that. They just have to push forward and make the best of the future they've been given. But his fellow Unsundered couldn't see this, trapped in their ideals of what the star should be. They needed to see it for what it is. But how could he expect the Convocation to do that, when the only one of them who ever seemed to care about the individual lives of the people was him? So someone has to fight for the new life springing up across the star. And thus began his great work. He's risen up to be the Warrior of Light countless times, over and over, for eons. With each Rejoining marking another failure. Time and time again he had to watch as everything he fought for was reduced to ash. Once, twice, seventh. It seemingly never ended. But what choice did he have? If he didn't fight against the Ascians, he was practically working for them by letting them get away with these atrocities. And so he carries onward as he's always done. But unbeknownst to him, this time was different. This time he meets the Scions of the Seventh Dawn. This time he travels to another Shard and manages to prevent a Rejoining. This time he isn't alone to face the second Final Days. This time, everything will finally be ok.

q. Why should YOU win? (Answer IC!) a. "Well, I'll be honest with you, I don't mind if I win or not. I just like participating and getting to know everyone! Oh, and I'll promise I'll hold back, for their sake. Though if they're Warriors of Light I'm sure they'll all hold up just fine! But if you want a serious answer about why I specifically should win, then…" [Eleutherios takes a moment to think.] "I should win based off of the fact that I have eons more experience in this whole 'Warrior of Light' business than the rest of them do. I've been at it since the Sundering! Not to say that my many, many years of experience is needed to be a Warrior of Light, or that I'm better than the rest, which couldn't be further from the truth. I think we all stand equal, sundered or not."

q. Anything else you wanna add? a. I have so much more lore for Eleutherios and I had to cut down this introductory essay by a LOT. I'm currently working on an extended version which covers ALL of his lore. If you want more Eleutherios content just send me an ask on tumblr, or scroll through the [#eleutherios (azem)] and [#unsundered azem au] tags! I'm always happy to talk about him!!

#💎 shout #💎 round two

[swiftletinthecloud]

Now that I’ve had some time to reflect on the end of The Story of Park’s Marriage Contract, just a couple of thoughts I want to share.

There are certainly some conflicted responses to how the drama ended, particularly regarding the tragic fate of Joseon!Tae Ha. And while I do agree that there are some plot holes that were magically handwaved for us to end on a happy ending for Yeon Woo and modern!Tae Ha, I just wanted to comment specifically on the character driven moments right now.

***Spoilers warning*** ***Also fair warning of long post below. This was like 2 and a half page on my google doc, so yeah ****

I absolutely love Joseon!Tae Ha from the beginning and I probably love him a little more than modern!Tae Ha.  I know that some ppls probably feel the same as well.  But here’s the thing, Yeon Woo didn’t love him romantically, not even pre-time travel. Pre-time travel!Yeon Woo and Joseon!Tae Ha was never this epic love story with mutual love from both sides to start with before tragedy struck, and I think a lot of us forgot that.

Joseon!Tae Ha might have secretly loved and admired Yeon Woo from when they met as children because she left such an impact on him, but that was not the case for pre-time travel!Yeon Woo.  She met a boy and spent maybe an afternoon playing with him near the rivers when she was child and then maybe never really gave him much thought after that. I’m not sure of the timeline for the beginning, but definitely 10+ days before her wedding, she met a handsome man named Tae Ha, who definitely caught her initial interest, while she was trying to get a glimpse of her would-be groom. She ran into Tae Ha again in the streets a few days later, and maybe her heart sped up from their running away from the guards together and the forced close proximity to this handsome man as they hid. There might even be a budding affection after their unplanned stroll together during the bridge firework show after he caught her running away again. But whatever Yeon Woo’s growing feelings for Tae Ha might be, she was ready after that to go through with her marriage to her UNKNOWN groom, not to Tae Ha.

It was good luck for Yeon Woo that her UNKNOWN groom turned out to be the handsome guy she met recently. If Joseon!Tae Ha hadn’t died prematurely in that first time line, perhaps Yeon Woo would have grown to love him and reciprocate romantically in the way we all wished.  And Yeon Woo would have been lucky in her arranged marriage to a stranger, that, again, she did not know was Tae Ha, when she committed herself to him as a result of her societal obligation. But fate was not kind to them and Joseon!Tae Ha died and Yeon Woo was thrusted into the 21st century with only the familiar face of her late husband in front of her as an anchor. 

Yeon Woo was alone in a strange place without her loving parents and Sa Wol. She just went through two traumatic events back to back, the death of her husband in her arms on her wedding day and the attack on her that resulted in her being thrown into a well.  Her anchor was the man with her late husband’s face, the face of a person that in the brief time she got to know him was warm and kind, the man who she was ready to face obligated married life with, only modern!Tae Ha was not Joseon!Tae Ha, who was immediately open and kind to Yeon Woo because he had been secretly loving her since they were children. 

Yeon Woo and modern!Tae Ha experienced trials and tribulations together that changed their feelings for each other and they grew to love each other, and it was very much a growth from both sides. Their specific experiences are ones that CANNOT be replicated in Joseon or with a reincarnated 21st century native Yeon Woo because their very specific circumstances led to those shared experiences together. Yeon Woo in Joseon never experiencing 21st century Korea would never be able to experience the freedom that she craved in living her life with her own name.  Joseon!Tae Ha would not have the ability to show her the freedom and choices that modern!Tae Ha and modern Korea showed Yeon Woo because Joseon!Tae Ha was also a product of his time.  The same opportunity of creating a clothing label in her own name would not have the same impact on a reincarnated 21st century native Yeon Woo as it did to Joseon!Yeon Woo. If she grew up as the daughter of Lee Mi Dam, she would have already been exposed to that world and that privilege, and even if she didn’t, as a modern 21st century woman, she would still have privileges that Joseon!Yeon Woo didn’t.  It was also the wonder, curiosity, and, in a way, innocence of Joseon!Yeon Woo and also his own curiosity and wonder about her that got modern!Tae Ha to open up and be vulnerable.  The same case would not have happened with a 21st century native Yeon Woo for those asking why we can’t have a Joseon! Tae Ha & Joseon!Yeon Woo and modern!Tae Ha & reincarnated!Yeon Woo happy endings.  In fact, if it did end with a modern!Tae Ha and a reincarnated Yeon Woo, I would have felt cheated for sure because everything that we went through together was with Joseon!Yeon Woo and what do you mean all those moments were erased and a reincarnated!Yeon Woo who we have no connection with got that happy ending with modern!Tae Ha? (side note: it was a plot hole but I’m so very glad the writers didn’t make everyone in modern Korea forget about Yeon Woo when she went back to Joseon because her presence left an impact on everyone she encountered, as it should be). 

As for Joseon!Tae Ha’s fate, I love him, I really do, but just because he loved and was committed to Yeon Woo throughout his life did not mean that Yeon Woo owed him anything like some of the responses to his ending either outright or subtly hinted at. And Joseon!Tae Ha knew and respected this, so if you love him, you shouldn’t be insulting or criticizing the woman he had been secretly loving and protecting!  It was Joseon!Tae Ha’s choice to give his heart to Yeon Woo; she didn’t have to accept it and he didn’t force it.  In their year of married life together before his second death, they lived in content platonic companionship and that was enough for Joseon!Tae Ha in that life. He still yearned and longed for her romantic love and wished that he could be reborn in the next life to receive it, but he didn’t force the issue as a man of his time period could have since they were still legally married. 

I saw responses that were like “Yeon Woo was able to marry and love modern!Tae Ha because he looked like her late husband so why couldn’t she love Joseon!Tae Ha later? She was able to move on from Joseon!Tae Ha the first time pretty quickly.”  And again, that goes back to the fact that she was never in love with Joseon!Tae Ha in the first place before meeting modern!Tae Ha.  I think some audiences have this assumption that Joseon!Tae Ha in the first timeline was Yeon Woo’s first love, and I initially did as well, but that’s not true if you look back carefully.  Modern!Tae Ha is Yeon Woo’s first love. She didn’t get a chance to love Joseon!Tae Ha yet before he died the first time.

If Yeon Woo had never been able to return to modern Korea and Joseon!Tae Ha didn’t die again after their first year of marriage, maybe slowly in their shared life together as first friends and life companions, post-time travel!Yeon Woo could have grown to love Joseon!Tae Ha romantically, but it would never be in the same way that she loved modern!Tae Ha.  But again, fate was not kind to them and Joseon!Tae Ha died and Yeon Woo, as his friend, was left mourning him once more.

(side note: I’ve read a comment that was like why couldn’t Yeon Woo just try to matchmake Joseon!Tae Ha to someone else in Joseon so he could have a happy ending too, and like, I’m sorry but do you not understand Kang Tae Ha, Joseon or modern at all? Tae Ha, Joseon and modern, loved Yeon Woo, and it was Joseon!Tae Ha’s enduring longing and love for her that transversed time and space and echoed in modern!Tae Ha. If Joseon!Tae Ha could have easily moved on to love someone else, we wouldn’t have this epic love story from Tae Ha’s side of the equation.) 

Another thing that I think is really important to consider that the drama really wanted us to acknowledge was that Joseon!Tae Ha and modern!Tae Ha were two different people. And no, the drama didn’t write themselves into a box by stressing that they were different people but also highlighting their similarities. Yes, they both had the same soul since modern!Tae Ha was undoubtedly the reincarnation of Joseon!Tae Ha, and we know that in the ways they echoed and parallelled with each other.  At the same time, however, they were both different individual people with different life experiences that shaped who they are.  They parallelled in their enduring love for Yeon Woo, their heart conditions, and their unfortunate family situations, but they were also different too.  They were not carbon copies of each other and their situations weren’t carbon copies either. They both had the same soul grandpa, stepmom, and half-brother, but Joseon and modern Tae Ha’s dynamics with each were different because of their unique time circumstances. Modern!Tae Ha was a lot closer to his grandpa who personally raised him in almost conflict with stepmom and Tae Min, but Joseon!Tae Ha was closer to his stepmom, the person who actually raised him in Joseon as expected of her during her time. Joseon!grandpa was perhaps a more distant elder since a man of his status and time period wouldn’t be obligated to raise his grandson when there was a woman right there for that purpose. Tae Ha and Tae Min’s relationships were also different in both time periods too. Modern!them were more distant with each other with Tae Ha raised to resent Ms. Min and so he probably saw Tae Min as an extension of her who he didn’t care for.  Modern!Tae Min revealed to Yeon Woo that he grew up in an environment with very little love from the people around him and saw modern!Tae Ha as the brother who was loved by their grandpa and always outshone him. Their relationship didn’t improve until after both met Yeon Woo.  On the other hand, Joseon!Tae Ha and Tae Min were good brothers with each other. They were close enough for Joseon!Tae Ha to leave Tae Min his diaries and the drawing of his crush so that Tae Min could pass them on to Yeon Woo.  When Yeon Woo asked Joseon!Tae Min who Tae Ha was to him, Tae Min replied that he was the best older brother. So, yes, while both Tae Ha shared the same soul and we see the echoes and similarities in their fates, they were still two distinctive different people in different situations. They were two different people who both fell in love with Yeon Woo, and Yeon Woo had every right to have and hold different feelings for each man.

And so to me, Joseon!Tae Ha’s fate was tragic and I would have absolutely loved for him to have a happy ending with Yeon Woo, but that would have meant a tragic fate for Yeon Woo and modern!Tae Ha.  We could only have 1 couple happy.  I’m glad that we at least have 1 happy ending and it was the relationship we were invested in for the majority of the drama (or again, I would have felt very cheated!).  I so very much want it, and in another timeline, Joseon!Tae Ha and pre-time travel!Yeon Woo could have had it all together, but that was never going to happen post-time travel because what was done can’t be undone.  We loved and we lost and we should very well respect Yeon Woo’s choice like Joseon!Tae Ha did. And despite its flaws, The Story of Park’s Marriage Contract delivered in the romance story area and the relationship and dynamics between Yeon Woo and both Tae Has. There was no unnecessary drama in their relationship with clear communications from both sides. I’m going to miss my ParkHa couple so much and the lighthearted fun and all the emotions that this drama gave us.

#kdrama #liveblogging #spoilers #lee se young #bae in hyuk #park yeon woo #kang tae ha #otp: parkha peppermint #yeon woo x tae ha #the story of park's marriage contract #meta #long post #mine

[kicktwine]

So how was stormblood? I know it's very hit or miss for people, so what're your thoughts?

I understand why it’s hit or miss! It — to get to the point i would be straight up lying if I said I was an unbiased consumer because I’m not, I’m a coastal American mid 20s rando with a Lot of very current cultural baggage around concepts like patriotism and freedom. And Hamilton references. It all has a sweet and strong and very anti-occupation message (along with themes I very much enjoy dissecting like the constant assertion that it Doesn’t Have To Be This Way, or the expansion into You may not understand this person but you must be able to accept them,) but when combined with Stormblood’s shakier coherence in writing and dialogue and pacing, it comes off as A Bit Off. to me. And I think it missed ever so slightly just due to how it was all structured and set up with the characters we have and motivations we have because the stuff OUTSIDE or Adjacent to the main story, despite how out of place it could feel, was structured great!! Like the Kojin and the Ananta trial and the Kugane mishaps and trying to murder Zenos twice and the ghost ship. Could the main structure have come across very well yes absolutely! It does it on and off it succeeds in there often! But sometimes it doesn’t. I can see a lot of where concepts were promised and not fully delivered, pacing was a bit off, things just happened without really belonging there (despite how much I loved Susano, he could have been better structured. same with many instances and also I feel like the unethical science should have been MORE IMPORTANT THAN IT — maybe it comes back. Who is that scientist.), sometimes dialogue felt somewhat canned. I feel like in a consequences-heavy expansion, many things just didn’t have important consequences, which was very strange

HOWEVER! I cannot give the new gameplay features abd dungeons any crap they are all SO GOOD. And so PRETTYYYYY. And there were so many solo duties that ruled! Every dungeon in this expansion was like whoa this is a PLACE im in you know what I mean??? I’m in a place that’s big and there’s people and there’s NEW MECHANICS and active time maneuvers (??!!!!!!!) and unique fights! I can jump on the roofs in Kugane! And, mind you, when the dialogue was good, it was good. Lyse has a fantastic voice actor. Alisaie is my favorite girl elf creature in thw world. Estinien is like the best p- the guy ever. also m’naago is my new friend. The tower was a great part of sb to me despite my singular gripe. I think Zenos’— I know it’s controversial to some people because he does assume your wol to be a bit more murderous than some people would prefer their characters be and doesn’t take no for an answer, but his um speech did something to my brain a little bit

ON that note the ending was very fast?????? Or like — not FAST, but I wasn’t expecting Zenos or Shinryu to go down in one fight. Two co-op fights, right next to each other. I kind of wanted to beat him up myself. And when Zenos was so impossible to beat before. I was expecting both of them to be WAY harder. Though Shinryu is a COOL fight I’d do the royal menagerie again in a second. I was kind of expecting a three stage trial? Like Nidhogg? I love going into space hiiii big dragon where were you this whole time… u were shafted… but u could not be suffered to live so. Maybe if we’d gotten an instance of fighting the dragon alone after beating the trial?? Could have been Themes. I don’t know

anyways no I can’t quite pin it down, but I’ve said it before I think they had the outline for the story and then built it and went oh this is too much and not enough at the same time and got stuck writing the whole thing after getting stuck in the story they already had. A COMMENDABLE job for getting turned around like that, way better than a lot of video games stories out there, good gameplay and areas that didn’t feel too empty. glances at coerthas falcons nest area. I think the ways they did the exploration thing was good, having us venture further into occupied territory etc, but so much exploration stuff felt oneoff and not there to do much for someone who has been skipping almost all of the side content except stuff I’ve been told is good. It almost felt like they were Trying New Stuff a lot, and some of it succeeded some of it failed. Such is trying stuff!! Such is trying to imitate what you had while making something new and exciting! And I can’t fault them for that

so like — putting aside the fact that I haven’t done post-sb which is like missing 40% of the Thing according to past expansions and my thoughts very well might change, i would 100% do the fights again, maybe watch some cutscenes, but I don’t think I’d NG+ this one. where is that lady selling buuz it is a CRIME i did not get to have any buuz let me buy one yoshi p

#hi Zenos I’m not going to go get tea with you but would you like to drown in a swamp with our antlers locked until someone’s head gets #ripped off and the other guy has to carry it staring at him for the rest of his miserable existence #play game #I can’t stand you as a horrible person or cancerous political presence. I bet you want to rip my throat out about it #u want me to fight you so bad it makes you look stupid #stormblood spoilers #maaah I don’t want to put my thoughts in main tags I’m writing a 30 minute high school English essay. Just grabbing thoughts and going #the more I think about it the more I think shinryu NEEDED a second one player fight #every other final fight has been multiple tri- wait well. Hm. Nidhogg was a patch quest. #no I stand by it the final HW fight was a cliffhanger so u knew a bigger fight was coming. Shinryu needed a second stage you had to fight #alone with your teeth and claws. Kill the eikon yourself; eikon-slayer. what else could you do. Nothing #nothing but kill it #This was always meant for you #maybe with Zenos inside losing control of it? maybe with him snarling at us the whole time. idk idk #I am starting to feel embarrassed for typing so much and having raw unrefined thoughts so that means I have to hit post #AND SHINRYU WAS SUPPOSED TO BE STRONGER THAN BAHAMUT I don’t know

[sjofn-lofnsdottr]

In Which I Gush About Dusk Lanverlais

(If you just want a basic rundown of him, you can check this post instead.)

Looking over what I posted about my alts, I was sort of amused to realize that I didn't talk nearly as much about my main dude, Dusk. Probably because I'm afraid if I start, I will never stop.

Because I love this silly man, very much.

He wasn't supposed to be my main guy, you know. I made him because I found it interesting the elezen look strange. Their proportions are off, compared to actual humans. They've got those necks, of course, but their shoulders are also a little too broad, their limbs a little too long, their head can sometimes look a little too small.

It was a touch offputting, if I'm honest, although I appreciated that this awkwardness went for both genders. I've said to people that I appreciate that FFXIV did 'androgynous elves' in a way that wasn't just code for 'the dudes are a little bit feminine.' When they're in armor, especially heavy armor, the gender line is pretty blurred to my eyes. And I think they have a ton of leeway to lean really hard into a gender presentation they want, or to hang out somewhere in the middle, or swing wildly from one to the other, and it always looks 'right' for them in a way that can be difficult (but not impossible!) for the other races in this game. They're just elezen, and I like it a lot.

This is me holding back on gushing about other things I've come to love about them, by the way.

In any case, like I said, I found their proportions a little offputting and strange, but that made them intriguing. Could I make an elezen I liked looking at? Turned out I could.

This is the earliest picture I can find of him that I still have. I have no idea where he's at in his MSQ, but I do know this was his very first glam.

Dusk comes from the same place Errol and Mercuriel do, a long lost RP setting I explored with a friend for a long time. It's why he's named 'Dusk' instead of something more elezen-y, although in FFXIV it's a nickname given to him by his father (and his twin sister, of course, is nicknamed Dawn). In that setting, he was a misplaced hippie artist at the head of a free love commune in the post apocalypse. He was a sculptor, and the eccentric local warlord was his patron, which enabled him to have his commune of would-be artists in the first place.

I wasn't sure he'd translate well to this setting (I thought this about the other two, too), but his actual personality - golden retriever given human form - didn't just translate, it fit into the way the Warrior of Light is frequently portrayed beautifully. Dusk has always had tremendous amounts of love to give to people - whatever form they want from him, platonic or otherwise - and has always made friends easily. He loves to learn about people more than anything else, but he loves seeing and doing new things almost as much.

He's more resilient than people ever expect, because he's always so soft, caring and open. It comes across as naive a lot of the time, but he's not. He just made the choice to be trusting and loving in a world that seems to often punish that, because living any other way is no way to live at all, in his eyes. He refuses to let the world make him jaded.

He's brave and protective - within reason, he is ever mindful of people's boundaries - and wants to help. Always, no matter how big or small the problem he's being asked to help with is. He's stubborn about being who he is, stubborn in his optimism, stubborn about giving pieces of himself to anyone who wants it.

So yeah. Translated better than I could ever hope.

When I first came up with him, it was sort of to counterbalance Mercuriel and Errol, both extremely messy men. I wanted Dusk to be simple, to be the one who was somehow always okay, because of the love he surrounded himself with. And so he was, in the RP. Partly because I didn't RP him and only him, he was offscreen a lot.

The WoL is never offscreen. So there are cracks here and there, now. Dusk wouldn't dream of not being the Warrior of Light, if people want him to be, even though he wishes people would see him more as himself than a Heroic Hero That Heroes, and that they would more often remember he has a huge support network that helps him do what he does. And frankly, it IS a lot of a pressure and he HAS gone through an awful lot as a result.

Dusk doesn't seem, on the surface, to be someone who would be a dark knight. He's so fluffy! And he's not resentful about being labeled a hero at all! And it's true, he really isn't. He might get exasperated sometimes, but nothing too crazy. But when he picked the class up, there were so many events he hadn't had a chance to unpack, to feel his feels and come to terms with them. And self-care is not a thing for him, it doesn't occur to him until people make it occur to him. Fray, to put it mildly, made it occur to him. Myste did too.

The Stormblood DRK quests felt especially suited to him ... he's not resentful, but he does carry a lot of guilt. So many people he couldn't save, in spite of his best efforts. So much hurt he wishes he could've prevented earlier, or entirely. So many people he was set against, that he might've been able to come to an understanding with if there had been time to find it, who didn't survive meeting him because of it.

He's better now, and I like to think that's why he's left the class behind ... but not completely. It's like riding a bike for him, letting his strong emotions, his love for the people he wants to protect, his disregard for rules designed to stop him from doing that ... it all comes rushing back to make him back into the absurdly resilient, dangerous protector of people who cannot protect themselves.

Gunbreaker is good and all, but sometimes you need to tap into something deeper, I suppose.

Pfft, I was going to make this his backstory post, but it got away from me, talking more about what he is instead of what he's done. I think that's okay though.

Oh, another thing he is? A giant insomniac.

And that, friends, is what tilted me towards wildwood over duskwight. Wildwoods look exhausted, all the time. It's perfect and I love it.

I will frequently comment that he looks like there is not a single thought passing through his skull. I've decided it's a combination of things that make this happen. First, the sleep deprivation. Second, he does frequently indulge in fogweed, partly in the hopes it will help him sleep, partly because he is self-medicating all the anxiety he refuses to acknowledge exists because again, self-care is not a thing for him a lot of the time. And third, his brain never shuts the fuck up. He doesn't have no thoughts, he has all the thoughts.

He's also ... startled a lot. Which I love so much.

Don't let the lack of glasses fool you, he wears them all the time now. I just didn't start doing it reliably until after he finished Shadowbringers, and I'm avoiding posting Endwalker shots of him at the moment.

Okay, see what I mean? I got started, and I have rambled about this dude AT LENGTH. This isn't even close to as much as I COULD say about him, either! But I will stop here instead of actually talking about his 'lore,' and try to make things more, uh, bite-sized going forward. Thank God I found the 'read more' link option thing, am I rite?

#ffxiv #ffxiv oc #character ramblings #just dusk #long post #holy shit SUCH a long post #tldr: i like dusk

[love-me-a-lotta-whump]

The Guinea Pig Delivery Driver - Black Knight Fanfiction

Whumpees: (GIF above) 5-8 played by (Kim Woo Bin) and (Yoon Sa Wol) played by (Kang Yoo Seok)

Synopsis: After the fall of Cheonmyeong Group and the slow rebuild of Korea’s entire social and physical structures, it wasn’t surprising that there were days and sometimes weeks where the delivery drivers were taskless and bored.

This was one of those weeks. Or at least- it started off that way.

Maturity Rating: Both the drama and this fic are rated 15+

Words: 2,875

Chapter: 1/?

Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Found Family, Kidnapping, Torture, Drugged, Self Sacrifice

MDL link for more information on the drama, itself

AO3 >>> [LINK] -=+=- FanFiction.net >>> [LINK]

NOTE: I will no longer be uploading on FanFiction.net but will continue using AO3. Ty!

After the fall of Cheonmyeong Group and the slow rebuild of Korea’s entire social and physical structures, it wasn’t surprising that there were days and sometimes weeks where the delivery drivers were taskless and bored.

This was one of those weeks. Or at least- it started off that way.

---

Sa Wol and 5-8 had been sparring daily. Multiple times a day. With the delivery truck robberies worsening, it was beneficial to keep up their fighting skills. Due to the country’s restructuring, law enforcement had been stretched paper thin. Because of that, the authorities weren’t doing much about delivery truck robberies. The drivers didn’t mind much at first given that they were already trained to handle these things but the robbers became bolder with every passing day. With no threat of legal action, they would take advantage of drivers. They were beaten within an inch of their lives if they couldn’t fight. They were often kidnapped and never seen again if they couldn’t stay in or get back in their trucks. 5-8 couldn’t let that happen to Sa Wol or… 5-7.

“Hyung, how many do you think I’ve fought before?” Sa Wol dodged a punch, throwing one of his own. It was a damn near daily occurrence for him to ask stupid questions.

“At once or in total?” 5-8 dodged Sa Wol’s fist, backing up towards the ropes in their wrestling ring.

“You know what? Both.”

“Why would I know that?”

“You could guess.” Sa Wol pouted as he was pinned to the ground. It was the third time that day.

“I won’t.”

The two decided to call it for the day, grabbing waters before heading out.

“Wanna hang at my place? We can order in.”

“How about tomorrow night after deliveries?” As much as 5-8 hated to admit it, he enjoyed the happiness on Sa Wol’s face after saying it. It was annoying that he actually liked him. He wasn’t sure how it was possible, though, given how annoying he could be. Damn kid was making his heart all mushy and soft.

------+------

Sa Wol couldn’t help but speed through his deliveries for the day. While there weren’t many, he’d still gotten finished with his workload faster than he thought he would. It was good, though. He needed to clean his place up a little bit before 5-8 came over.

He hopped back into his truck, quickly typing into his screen to start his final delivery of his shift.

“Now to 42, Hangang-daero. Final delivery.” The calm and warm voice of the woman in the GPS rang through the truck’s speakers.

Half way through his drive, he noticed some truck robbers on the side of the road. He quickly pressed on the gas to pass them before they could do anything. He sped past the group, eyeing them in his rear view mirrors to be sure he was in the clear.

He was not.

“What the hell?” He pressed harder on the gas, the screaming engine, the soundtrack to the chase scene playing behind him. He watched as the robbers slowly caught up to his truck, jumping onto it one by one. “There’s no way. They shouldn’t be able to catch up at the speeds I’m doing.”

He tried the maneuver techniques 5-8 showed him the week prior. Luckily a few were falling off but some wouldn’t. That wasn’t the worst part. Some of the ones who fell off quickly got back up and were right back to his truck in no time.

“There’s no way! What the fuck?!” He tried his maneuvers again but with no luck. How were these people falling from a truck going at insane speeds just to get right back up and get on the truck? Why were their arms not broken? Not even a leg? Shit did they at least have a scraped knee? What was going on?

The closer they got to the cab, the more the panic started to set in. These weren’t just your everyday robbers. These guys were on something. He sorta remembered the other delivery drivers talking about a new drug on the market but sometimes they’d exclude him from conversations like that if 5-8 wasn’t there to make them involve him so he wasn’t really sure if that’s what this was.

He switched his gaze frequently between the desert and the robbers on his truck. They made it to the cab. Shit. He watched as they blew three of his tires out. The truck’s alarms went off, the ABS light was the last thing he saw before the truck flipped. Luckily he was strapped in so all he had to do was unbuckle himself and allow himself to fall to the ground or better yet… the driver’s side door. His heart rate spiked and adrenaline flowed like a broken dam while the robbers surrounded the truck. He backed as far away from the windshield as he could. He fumbled through his pockets, finally grabbing his phone.

It works!

He quickly pulled up 5-8’s contact, calling him immediately.

“Hyung! Hyung they’ve surrounded my truck. I’ve never fought this many people before and they’re huge! I think they’re on-” A couple of the robbers broke through the windshield, reaching in towards him. “Fuck! These drugged up robbers just broke through my window I-” One managed to get a hand on his vest. He dropped the phone as he struggled to fight them off. “Get the fuck off! Hyung!” 

Before he could get back to his phone, he was dragged out of the truck over the broken glass and beaten. Between kicks and blows, he watched the robbers turned his phone off. Great. How’s 5-8 supposed to find him?

------+------

“Hyung! Hyung they’ve surrounded my truck. I’ve never fought this many people before and they’re huge! I think they’re on-” A crashing sound was heard. Unmistakably broken glass. “Fuck! These drugged up robbers just broke through my window I-” He heard rustling before a loud thud come through the speakers. “Get the fuck off! Hyung!”

The sound of scraping broken glass pierced through the phone into 5-8’s ear. His eyes darkened as he heard the first blow to Sa Wol’s body. Listening to his painful groans only fueled the growing fire inside of his chest. These people had to be something else for Sa Wol to not be able to defend himself on his own.

He broke into a dead sprint out of the door for his truck. “I’m coming! Stay in the truck if you can!”

The lack of response sent a chill down his spine.

“5-7! Sa Wol!”

The call dropped.

5-8’s heart sank. He felt sick to his stomach as adrenaline surged through his body like wildfire. He had to get to Sa Wol as fast as possible. He was fortunate that the two had deliveries so close to each other all day but if he was headed to his last delivery, he’d be a good few minutes away.

He was there in practically no time but it was already too late. 5-8 took in a half-dead Sa Wol laying next to his truck. He was right. These guys are on some kind of drug because there’s no reason Sa Wol couldn’t have had at least a couple of these guys on the ground. They were all perfectly fine, ransacking the truck.

He approached the truck stealthily, peeking inside. He spared a quick glance to Sa Wol. He’s breathing. Good. He opened fire, hitting as many of the robbers as he could. Some dropped to the ground but some took the bullets like it was nothing. He backed up, heels touching Sa Wol’s torso. If he could do anything about it, they wouldn’t touch him again.

The robbers flew out of the truck like a pack of coyotes out of a cave, laughing and smiling, baring brown and broken teeth. They surrounded the two, causing 5-8 to start circling Sa Wol with his back still to him. All he wanted was to get the kid out of there but if these people were taking bullets the way they were, this was gonna be a fight. And a long one at that.

He began firing again, luckily sending a few to the ground. He dropped the gun once his ammo was out, using his fists and legs as needed. He kept an eye on any that dropped, knowing they might get back up yet hoping they didn’t. He took blows and handed them out.

The problem was, the bastards kept getting up.

He’d called for backup on the way to find Sa Wol but nobody was close. It would be a while before they got there. They were on their own.

After fighting for what felt like an eternity, he was exhausted and these assholes were still rearing and ready to go. Whatever they were on, it was too much. He finally decided he needed to just get enough distance from them to grab Sa Wol and bolt for his truck. Problem was, the kid was still unconscious and even if he was awake, he’d most likely be too weak to run as fast as they needed to. And there’s always the possibility that he has injuries that 5-8 hadn’t known about yet since he had no time or ability to look him over.

Either way, it was looking like that was his best option. He switched from punches to solely kicks, getting the distance he needed. Once they were all on the ground, he took his chance and grabbed Sa Wol. He held him in his arms, running for his truck as fast as he could, the freezing cold air biting into his skin.

As they got closer, he could feel the heat of his still-running truck’s engine. He got the door open, throwing Sa Wol inside. He hated how rough he was but it was either that or get captured.

Captured it was!

He didn’t feel whatever it was that hit him across the head. It just happened. His vision blurred as he fell to the ground. Before he could get up, another blow was sent, sealing the deal and sending him into a deep sleep if that’s what you wanna call it.

------+------

Sa Wol’s whole body ached. He writhed where he sat, slowly opening his eyes, hoping what he had just experienced was a dream. Reality hit him hard as he took in everything around him. The chair he sat in wobbled with every slight movement. It was only then that he’d realized he was chained to the chair. Great. He knew how to get out of different types of restraints and this one was always the worst. The only thing worse than that was seeing 5-8 restrained to a pillar in front of him.

“Hyung. Where are we?” Sa Wol’s voice was deep and raspy with a tinge of pain. Speaking hurt. Hell, breathing hurt.

“It looks like an old office building. It’s not like I could really look. I was too busy trying to make sure you were alive.” 

“Okay first of all, watch the attitude. It wasn’t like I decided to be in this situation. And I could have fought them off if they weren’t on every drug ever manufactured ever.”

“You’re being dramatic.”

“Am I? Hyung, look around. We’ve literally been kidnapped and you want to say I’m being dramatic? I feel like you’re underreacting to the situation at hand. But that’s just my opinion.”

“You two are so much fun to listen to.” A disembodied voice echoed through the lobby of the abandoned office building. “Unfortunately we can’t keep cracking jokes. It’s time to get down to business, huh?”

The source of the voice appeared. It was an absolutely jacked specimen of a man stepping out of the dark behind where 5-8 was tied up.

“I’m assuming you’re on whatever those other guys were?” 5-8 didn’t bother to spare their captor a glance.

“Thank you for noticing. Yes! And soon you will be, too! Except it’s my experimental recipe. See, I’m Kwon Seung Woo, the original creator of MT-5 and I’m looking to upgrade but I need new experimental subjects. The others died, unfortunately.”

Sa Wol scoffed, irritating his most-likely bruised lungs but he proceeded to speak despite it. “I actually already have a nice paying job so I’m good. Full time. Benefits. PTO. I appreciate the offer, though.”

5-8 rolled his eyes at the remark. Sa Wol knew it was for sure irritating his hyung but at the same time, the more he spoke, the more attention was on him. If he could make their captor mad, he would go after him instead of 5-8. He couldn’t let them hurt him. He only truly had 2 people left for him in this life and he couldn’t bear to watch that number get cut in half.

“You don’t have a ch-”

“You know what? I’ve actually thought about it. I could be persuaded but for the right cost. How much are you willing to pay me and what are the benefits like? Are there stock options? I may want to invest.”

“You’re a chatty one, huh?” The captor motioned towards Sa Wol, sending fear running through his nerves. Two of his beefed up henchmen approached him, both sending a fist to his ribs. He cried out in pain, doubling over as much as his restraints would allow him. As much as it hurt, his plan was working.

“Hey! Leave the kid alone. I know he’s got a mouth on him but you could easily fix that with a sock. Don’t be lazy.” Shit did 5-8 figure out what his idea was? He needed to step things up.

“If you stick a sock in my mouth, I’ll eat it just to spite you and still have something to say.”

“Kids these days have no manners, huh?” Their captor glanced over to a very visibly angry 5-8. “How about I teach him some?”

That phrase put so much pressure in Sa Wol’s chest, it was like an elephant just sat on him. Or was that from being beaten? Either way, shit was about to hit the fan and he knew it.

All he could do was sit there and take the beating he was given as 5-8 watched, yelling at them to stop. For a brief moment they did, slowly looking over to see him pulling on his chains.

“Whatever you want to do to him, do to me instead. He’s just a kid. He’s too stupid to know when he’s gone too far.”

Sa Wol couldn’t speak anymore, he was in so much pain. He desperately wanted to do anything to redirect their eyes from 5-8, but all he could do was sit in the crumpled up wreckage of what used to be a chair, feeling the wetness of pooling blood underneath him. It was only then that he realized in all the blows he took, one wasn’t a fist, but a knife.

---

5-8 could only watched as they wailed on Sa Wol. He struggled in his restraints, nearly breaking his wrists as he saw the knife come out of someone’s pocket. He watched as it was sent into Sa Wol’s stomach.

Fuck. His escape plan just went out the window, entirely. They needed to get out now. He watched as the blood pooled underneath the kid, snaking through every crack and crevice in the tile beneath them, winding around the chains and crumpled chair. He needed to think of something.

“You got what you wanted from him, now leave him alone.”

“He’s the perfect experiment. With the current state he’s in, I’ll be able to see how well MT-6 can do.”

“Kwon Seung Woo!” 5-8 was even a little shocked at how loud he was. As far as he knew, he’d never yelled like that before.

He struggled in his restraints, feeling blood flow from his wrists while Seung Woo stuck the large needle into Sa Wol’s chest, directly into his heart. All he could do was wait at that point. The kid’s whimpers burned his eardrums. It was one of the worst sounds he’d ever heard. It wasn’t long before the effects were visible.

Sa Wol stood, stumbling a little bit before catching himself. Seung Woo had one of his men cut the chains and before they knew it, both of them were practically sent flying across the room. 5-8 could see how shot Sa Wol’s eyes were. They were out of focus, it looked like.

Kwon Seung Woo and his men surrounded Sa Wol. “Just rough him up a little. I want to see what happens.”

The goons tried attacking him but were met with nasty right hooks and kicks that could kill a normal man. They did what they could but none of them could compete with him. Seung Woo put both of his hands up, having seen what was done to his people.

“Okay. You win. We’ll leave the two of you alone. We’ll go.” He motioned to his men before heading for the door.

5-8 watched on as Sa Wol’s eyes darkened. He looked like a lion locking onto his prey. He’d never seen that look from the kid. Ever.

“No. You won’t.”

------+------

MORE WHUMP LISTS >>> {X}

#black knight #black knight fanfiction #my fanfiction #my writing #kwhump #asian whump #asianwhump #kdrama fanfiction #kdrama fanfic

[twinkle-art]

now that you're done endwalker, could you talk a little bit more about andromeda? im curious about what she got up to/how she grew in all that time

YES I’D LOVE TO endwalker was BRUTAL to her. and yet she still pulled through with the indomitable human spirit

Previously On Final Fantasy XIV (Andromeda Elo Version) style recap:

as you can imagine, her obsessive belief that killing zenos would instantly reinstate her as a perfect hero circa. stormblood went… poorly. the brief period when people thought she killed him and not that he killed himself in front of her did make her feel a little crazy

and then she went to the first and that kind of put things in perspective. or more accurately, gave her a fresh new slate for her hero image and an excuse to ignore her previous flop era

there was her whole thing with emet-selch. anyways

on that note, the only real canon deviation i made to shb was that when she’s dying of light poisoning she does, in fact, run off to the tempest by herself with the intention of killing them both. this doesn’t pan out and instead she spends about a week hallucinating in emet-selch’s torment nexus until some very upset scions come get her. i’ve drawn a lot about this. i will likely continue to draw a lot about this

due to a cocktail of deep rooted mental issues and also the fact that he was truly just so miserable, andromeda doesn’t feel… great about putting emet-selch down. but instead of articulating this, because she’s convinced it’s not the “right” reaction, she bottles it up for about 3 patches

…until elidibus plays on her guilt and she receives azem’s crystal as a 1-2 punch. when y’shtola asks the wol after the fact if they’re okay i decided that she immediately bursts into tears

so now we arrive at the end times

there’s really no delicate way to say it but the garlemald arc was probably the worst thing she ever experienced. which is impressive, given her spring break amaurot excursion just happened. 

(i loved it though it might genuinely have my favorite writing in this whole game)

as i’m sure i don’t have to spell out, being treated as a foreign invader in the place she grew up was kind of a lot. she’s incredibly sentimental about her homeland- for as much as she hates it for how it rejected her (and the atrocities) and as much as she never for a second regretted her defection, her feelings towards garlemald are not dissimilar from the way someone might crave the recognition of a family that has only treated them poorly. 

in fact, her traitor’s title of viator was never actually official- zenos referred to her as such, but never made his knowledge of her garlean citizenship public because he dgaf. and yet, despite continuing to exclusively go by elo and hide her origins, she privately referred to herself as viator caecus without much thought, in an act of blinding self-unawareness. (but as her god i know the reason, and it’s that on some level she likes that being branded a Significant Traitor still means being recognized by her former home as Significant)

anyways, speaking of her family: they sure did live in the capital! andromeda is trying really, really hard to be brave and pragmatically carry out her duty as Eorzea’s Champion but like…her mommy lives here :(

in the first of many acts that mean the jig of her supposed eorzean origins is pretty much up, she starts asking everyone they encounter if they’re aware of the whereabouts of a woman named lucretia eir caecus (for ilsabard contingent business, obviously. not because she’s terrified her mom is dead.) without much luck. the twins simply do not have the heart to tell her that this is a hell of a long shot. 

(ONE person doesn’t know where she could be, but they do know of her and muse that the rumors must be true then- that this minor city bureaucrat really did have populares sympathies, if she’s a contact for the eorzeans. this comes as total news to andromeda.)

(also eventually, inevitably this get back around to their intelligence and thancred pulls her aside and grills her until he realizes what’s going on and pivots to Oh My God it’s fine that you miss your mom?! you should have come to us helping you look for her is the least we can do after everything. this is the second time a scion makes her burst into tears.)

putting a pin in that for now. in from the cold was . a lot. i don’t have much to say other than that it felt especially cruel to make her drag herself through the ruins of the city she was raised in while wearing the body of the kind of person who made her life hell. also in general that zenos knew what he was doing when he razed her hometown to the ground to get her attention. fucked up duty btw. her desire to kill him with a rock is back.

after tower of babil/the moon/zodiark i deviate from canon a little bit again- she lets the scions do their mare lamentorum side thing while she goes back to garlemald to see what’s going on. not feeling great about maybe causing the final days.

and then she reunites with her mom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (<- part of her narrative that i had planned out as early as heavensward)

i want to draw this scene out in glorious detail but the long and short of it is that lucretia- who lest we forget, knows her way around a gunblade despite living as some military man’s obedient little wife for 25 years- had actually started trailing the ilsabard contingent from a distance once rumors spread that the wol was with them.

see, despite this not being officially public knowledge, she figured out that this “andromeda elo” was her daughter a long, long time ago, and it kind of snapped her out of the two-decade defeatist trance she put herself in for survival. (which is when she got involved in all manner of clandestine anti-state activities- she was rather dangerously close to getting in extremely serious trouble when civil war broke out and everyone kind of stopped caring) 

so she followed them from a distance, falsely assuming that the daughter who ran away wouldn’t want to see her until finally getting caught and dragged in there

also she killed her husband in self-defense. allegedly. he was totally tempered i promise. he had it coming tho.

ANYWAYSSS that’s the chunk of edw i have the most detailed thoughts on. elpis was also incredibly harrowing due to um. her Whole Thing with emet-selch but tbh i haven’t fully digested the back half of the expansion yet because it is DENSE

(i do love it when two characters get one single transcendent moment when they're finally able to both understand each other though it makes me crazy)

two final beats that i think illustrate her mental state going into the finale:

when the final days descended, the number one thing that kept her from falling into despair was her reunion with her mother- while their relationship is far from magically fixed, the simple fact that she regained something she lost after realizing how precious it really was to her made her all the more ferocious about ensuring that she will never, ever give that up again

when zenos makes his final assertion that the two of them are the same, she rejects him- but this is because while it was once true, she has since outgrown that. she has outgrown him. and that’s why he loses.

...also she fucked drusilla at some point while learning reaper

#ffxiv #andromeda elo #THIS IS LONG. REALLY LONG but i added a bunch of pictures <3 #thank you for asking anon. i love my daughter i love to talk about her

[hylfystt]

i think i might've inhaled you

ship: leida valroux (wol) / ardbert hylfyst rating: explicit fandom: ffxiv word count: 3.7k phEW notes: major shadowbringers spoilers. baby's first smut. don't think to hard about the logistics of this, it works because it works. [ao3]

It’s late when she startles from her slumber, a stifled cry on her lips and sweat on her brow. Instinct drives her to throw the covers from her form, to free herself from the confines of her bed and bolt and — 

Leida takes a shuddering breath, burying her face in her hands. She focuses on her breathing, trying to quiet the rush of blood in her ears and the echo of a shattered shield.

The Vault. It’s been a long time since that particular nightmare has come to plague her. She had hoped that she was finally free of it, that the peace she had made with Haurchefant’s death might finally absolve her of her nightly torments.

A vain hope, so it seemed.

“I was beginning to worry you weren’t going to wake up.”

Ardbert’s voice carries easily in the quiet of the room. She isn’t surprised to find him standing before her window, more than accustomed to his near nightly vigil. It’s a small comfort, knowing that he stays. There may be little he can do in the event of something truly disastrous, they both know that, but it is an attempt to ward away the troubles that would seek to plague her regardless. Something stirs within her at the thought. Leida meets his gaze, shuffling to rest against the wall, the cool bricks offering some measure of comfort against her still flushed skin. Ardbert glances away, turning his attention back to the night sky, something like regret flashing in his eyes.

“What time is it?”

“Dunno. Still a few hours before dawn, I reckon.” He casts her a quick glance. “You should go back to sleep. Tomorrow is sure to be a long day.”

Leida smiles thinly. “It always is.” The words sound more cynical to her ears than she intends them, but it doesn’t diminish the truth of them. Her days have been long ever since that quiet grey morning she slipped aboard a ship bound for Limsa Lominsa some five years ago now. At this point she doesn’t much know what she would even do with peace, anyways. “I doubt I’ll find much rest now regardless.”

“You want to talk about it?”

The elezen huffs a laugh. “Not in the slightest.” Leida closes her eyes and lets her head fall back to rest against the wall. “I’ve told you of Haurchefant.”

Ardbert hums in acknowledgement. He understands then. “Aye, that you have.” Silence settles between them, heavy as they contemplate the weight of their respective ghosts. Leida frowns, cracking an eye to gaze at the gentle glow that radiates from Ardbert. The figurative kind, she supposes.

She has seen ghosts before, spirits that cling to this world by sheer force of will or by magicks beyond her purview. Her expertise lies in living aether, in arcanima and the egi. The more spiritual studies of aetherflow have always lain in Y’Shtola and Urianger’s domains, and she’s been more than content to leave it with them in the past, despite her fascination. Run so ragged as she’s been these past years, she’s had little time to dedicate herself to new areas of study. 

Looking at Ardbert now, not at all like the specters she has battled in the past and yet not quite living, she wishes she had never given up that particular thread of curiosity.

“Well,” Ardbert says suddenly, snapping Leida out of her quiet contemplations. “If you’re going to be stubborn about it, might as well make yourself useful.” He crosses the room and settles on the edge of her bed, raising an expecting brow. “Go on, then. You promised me another one of those tales of yours.”

“Useful?” Leida sputters, unable to help the grin that blossoms under his teasing gaze. “Arse.”

Ardbert returns her grin, eyes softening. Leida knows what he is doing, and she is grateful for it—grateful for him and this easy comfort that has grown between them since her arrival on the First. They’ve come a long way from their meeting on the Source, from the cynical jabs and mistrust that marked their meetings after. She’s not entirely sure when the shift happened, but she has come to care for him, and she knows that she is not alone in her sentiments.

Sitting here close to him, a small part of her, quiet and longing and foolish, wonders what it would be like to touch him.

“Let’s see,” Leida starts, shaking the thought from her head and scooting to sit beside Ardbert. She has much she can tell him, much she wants to, good and bad and much somewhere in the middle. But tonight is a night for good, she thinks. “Have I told you of the Churning Mists?”

“In passing, I think.”

Leida smiles fondly. “There are a particular inhabitants there, a rather funny people called moogles—”

Ardbert casts her a flat look. “The First has them too, you know.”

“Shush, you. You wanted a story, I’m giving you a story. Now, as I said, moogles…���

Ardbert listens intently as she tells her tale, of the restoration of Zenith and the misadventures along the way. It’s almost a relief to talk about something that, in the grand scheme of all that she has done since shouldering the mantle of Warrior of Light, seems relatively mundane. Not that she herself would call it so. Her work with Mogzin, Ohl Deeh and Tarresson is something she is proud of and holds dearly to her heart. 

She is glad to share this with him, too.

“I should visit them again when we get home,” Leida says, laying back so that she is stretched across the bed, legs left dangling over the side. She doesn’t catch the brief flash of sorrow her words bring.

I would have liked to have seen it with you. “I would have thought you’d be sick of the creatures after all that,” Ardbert says instead. He shakes his head, forcing a smile. “Honestly. Drunk moogles…”

Leida laughs. “Yes, well, I find them quite endearing.”

“You would.”

Leida rises quickly, casting a look of mock incredulity at the man. She reaches out, shoving him lightly. “Now just what do you mean by that?”

Something shifts in the aether.

Ardbert sits frozen, eyes blown wide. Leida stills, too, when the realization dawns. She looks at her hand, still resting on the pauldron of his armor, cold and rough and so incredibly tangible under her fingers. Her mouth drops open, a small oh slipping past her lips as she stares at the point of contact.

“So it wasn’t my imagination, then.” Ardbert’s voice is more fragile than she has ever heard it before. He can’t seem to look away from her hand. “You can feel me.”

Leida swallows. “Before,” she starts, moving her hand from his shoulder to trail down his arm. She is careful with her movements, as if he might fade once again under her touch if she moves too quickly. She’s not sure she could bear it if he did. “When the Light…”

Ardbert nods, almost imperceptibly. “I thought I had felt something…I thought I had felt you.”

He watches her hand intently, brow pinched as it comes to rest at his wrist. Were it not for his very nature, he would have wondered if this was somehow a dream. He’s still not sure he believes it at all, that he won’t blink his eyes and she will still be lying back on the mattress, ready to expound on the virtues of moogles. 

Instead Leida’s fingers brush the clasps of his bracers and he swallows hard. “May I?” she asks.

Ardbert nods again, not daring to trust his voice.

With careful consideration, she sets upon freeing his forearm, undoing clasps and buckles with a quiet reverence. She sets the gauntlet aside, hesitating only just before she reaches to remove his glove, careful not to touch the expanse of skin now exposed to his eyes for the first time in a century. He feels nearly faint with this simple intimacy. She reaches for his other hand, divesting his other hand with the same tender care until both his hands are left bare to her and the night.

“Leida…” He watches her, intensity burning in those blue eyes of his despite the way that he trembles. After an achingly long moment she moves, brushes her fingers ever so gently across his palm and marvels at the way he feels so solid under her touch.

Ardbert exhales sharply at the contact, trembling still. He feels hot—her touch a searing warmth with every careful brush of her fingers against his. Ardbert flexes his hand, a vain attempt to steady himself. Leida meets his eye, apology ready on her lips, when he surges forward, entwining their hands and slanting his lips against hers.

The result is blinding.

All at once Ardbert is everywhere. Her senses are overwhelmed by him and the impossibility of his touch, of his breath – gods, his breath! – entwining with hers. Ardbert squeezes her hand, near hard enough to bruise and to ground him in this impossible moment.

“How is this possible?” Leida gasps in the desperate break for air, chasing his lips nevertheless.

“Don’t know,” Ardbert grunts as he pulls her into his lap. Closer — he needs her closer. Leida shudders delightedly as his hand tangles in her hair, the other dipping into her shirt as he holds her flush against him. “I don’t care.”

There will be time for questions later, time to puzzle over why her and why him, but right now—

Right now, the only thing that matters is that he is kissing her and she is kissing him back and nothing else in this world or hers has ever made more sense.

Lost in the feel of his mouth on hers, lips parting to deepen the kiss, Leida is inclined to agree; for if this a dream, or a construct of her own longing, she isn’t inclined to be woken.

He has long lost himself in the feel of her when he feels her hands move to his shoulders and the straps of his armor. It’s a clumsy thing, one that has them both huffing a quiet laugh as he moves to help her when it becomes clear that she is close to just burning the damn straps away if it meant divesting him of his armor that much faster. The cuirass falls away, followed closely by his shirt, clumsy hands moving to cast them aside somewhere, and Ardbert pulls her in again.

Her hands explore the expanse of his back, tracing the lines and valleys of whatever scars she comes across. 

Her hands are nearly his undoing. How long has he been without the simple comfort of another’s touch? How long has he been left aching and wanting for her? To touch her now, to feel her warmth and warrior’s strength…

It’s too much, and not enough at all.

“Gods,” he breathes as she pulls a trembling sigh from him. He trails his lips against the line of her jaw, stopping at the base of her ear, the low timbre of his voice causing an eruption of gooseflesh down her spine. “Tell me you want this. Tell me that you ache for me just as badly as I ache for you.”

Leida brings his face back to hers and looks at him through half lidded eyes, desire and affection read plain. Her look only serves to kindle the fire that erupted in his belly the moment he first kissed her.

“I want this,” she says, bringing her forehead to rest against his. “I want you.”

Never before has he heard words so beautiful.

His mouth meets hers hungrily and her pulse quickens, fire racing in her veins as he draws from her a desire she’d thought long since locked away. His hands find her waist, fingers hooking on the bottom of her shirt and she smiles, breaking apart just long enough for him to pull it over her head. He casts it aside, leaving hungry hands to explore her skin freely. Calloused fingers trace every scar and every line, and he pulls away to marvel at her freely.

He wants to ask her about every mark and know every story behind them. He thumbs a particularly egregious mark, the taught pull of new skin indicating it’s newness in comparison to other scars. Leida takes one of his hands and brings it to her mouth, kissing his palm.

“Later,” she tells him with a small smile. “I will tell you everything.”

“Later,” he agrees. He keeps her eye for a moment, caressing her cheek softly as his other hand slides up the expanse of her stomach. He can’t help the self satisfied smile at the shiver the action draws from her. He grins fully at her gasp when his hand finds her breast, thumb swiping teasingly at a hardened nipple. His mouth is soon to follow, drawing a contented sigh from Leida.

“Ardbert…”

She has always been beautiful. From the first time he saw her on the Source—a radiant storm of fury and fierce protectiveness of her world, of her family—to their meeting here on the First, she has been radiant. He thinks she has never looked more beautiful than like this, however, in the way she unfurls for him as he tips them back, rolling to dip her into the mattress. 

All his long years cursing Minfilia for leaving him to wander as a shade has surely been worth it for this sight alone.

Ardbert’s hands continue their exploration, strong hands gliding down the length of her sides until they stop at the waistband of her sleep-shorts. He keeps her eye, noting the high color in her cheeks and the hitch in her breathing as his thumbs dip teasingly below the hem.

“Gods, but you are beautiful.”

Then he is tugging the fabric away, down her legs until he can toss them aside, and Leida can’t be sure if the way her skin prickles with gooseflesh is from the exposure to the chill night air or his hungry look.

He kisses his way down the expanse of her stomach, lips finding every scar, every errant freckle, until he presses a kiss to her hip bone and Leida can’t help the longing sigh he pulls from her. Her breathing kicks higher in anticipation when he lowers himself further and kisses the inside of her thigh as he hooks her knees over his shoulders. He meets her eye, a silent question raised. She nods, almost imperceptibly and his eyes dance. 

She nearly lurches off the bed at the first swipe of his tongue over her folds, a soft moan falling sweetly from her lips. Ardbert’s hands grip at her hips to keep her steady as he repeats the motion, eager to draw out the sound again. He is slow in his ministrations, almost painfully so, as he takes his time to discover what makes her tick. It’s near enough to drive her to insanity, the way he so pointedly avoids her clit. She wiggles her hips, chasing the friction she so desperately longs for and yet he denies, having half a mind to tell him to stop with his teasing her and just get on with it—

As if hearing her thoughts, Ardbert takes the bundle of nerves into his mouth and sucks and it is as if every nerve in her body is alight with lightning. Her hand shoots down, finding purchase in his hair as she is suddenly desperate for an anchor. “Fuck,” she gasps, head falling back against the mattress as she loses herself in the feel of his mouth on her. One of his hands slides from its place on her hips and he teases a finger at her entrance, drawing another moan from her. He feels his cock twitch in response.

He sets upon her with earnest then, dipping another finger into her aching cunt as his mouth and tongue drink from her greedily like a man possessed; like a ghost who has felt nothing, tasted nothing for a hundred long, lonely years. To be seen, felt, loved…

He would do anything for her.

“Please,” comes the strangled gasp as his mouth and fingers work her higher and higher towards the precipice. “Ardbert,” she whines.

“Tell me what you want,” he says, withdrawing from her folds to meet her eye. Want burns bright through her at the sight of him looking at her with such reverence, the evidence of her desire slick on his lips.

“I need you,” she breathes. “Please.”

Ardbert holds her eye as he kisses the inside of her thigh before turning over the length of her body, mouth and tongue tasting every ilm of her until he reaches her mouth. Leida moans at the taste of herself on his lips.

“Tell me.”

“I need you inside me,” she pants, fingers scraping lightly against his scalp as she holds his gaze. “Ardbert…”

He kisses her deep, settling between her legs with a shaky sigh. He feels her hand reach between them, wrapping around his cock and giving it several slow, teasing strokes.

“Easy there, sweetheart,” he groans, nipping at her jaw. “I won’t last long if you do that.”

“Mercy, then.” Leida gives a breathy laugh, kissing his temple as she relents, moving her hand to guide him to her entrance. Ardbert rests a hand against her cheek, thumb brushing her cheek affectionately. Gods, but he loves her.

The first push of him inside her has both their breaths catching. She clings to him, forehead resting against his as he takes his time entering her fully. He wants to savor this, wants to sear the memory of her open mouthed gasps and the feel of her into his memory forever so that not even another century could take this from him.

Ardbert shudders as he sheathes himself fully inside her, marveling at the way she feels so right, like she was made for him and he for her. Leida takes a moment to catch her breath, for she feels nearly faint with the way her very aether seems to respond to him. When she kisses him, silently begging for his movement, she nearly weeps at the first slow roll of his hips.

“‘s been so long,” he groans, head dropping to the crook of her neck as he drags long and slow within her. Leida gasps at the scrape of teeth at her pulse point. “You’re so perfect. So perfect for me.”

“I am yours,” she sighs, legs shifting upward to take him deeper. “From the first, I have been yours.”

She rises to meet him for every movement as he sets his pace faster, deeper, chasing a bliss she never thought possible before. Their union feels somehow sacred, inevitable, like something that should have been long ago has finally shifted into place and now the worlds are in alignment. Later, she will ponder what this means, what the tug of her aether towards him and his towards her means but right now—right now, nothing matters outside of the feel of his skin against hers.

Their shared gasps and moans fill the night, the sound of skin moving against skin a melody sweeter than any orchestrion could capture. Leida feels all at once too hot, the steady drive of his cock working her back to the precipice. She wants more. She slides her arms around his neck, legs wrapping around his waist as she is desperate to feel him closer, deeper. She can feel his answering groan rumble against her breast as he obliges her, arm looping under her back and holding her impossibly close as he shifts to a near relentless pace.

“Ardbert, I—I’m…” She can barely think through the heady pleasure, all means coherent thought thoroughly chased away with each snap of his hips. “Fuck.”

Ardbert places a sloppy, open mouthed kiss at the base of her ear as he speaks. “Let go for me, sweetheart.” 

The rough timbre of his voice is enough to send her over the edge. Ecstasy crashes around her with his name on her lips in a desperate, repeating prayer. He guides her through it, fingers digging into the soft skin of her back as he holds her close and it isn’t long before Ardbert’s hips stutter, thrusting erratically as he follows with a rough gasp of her name.

They fall together, in the aftermath. A tangle of limbs and languid bliss in the wake of their lovemaking. Leida presses a kiss to the sweat matted hair at his temple, Ardbert’s hold around her tightening. She doesn’t know how long they stay like this, holding each other in the afterglow as they struggle to regain their breaths. Eventually Ardbert pulls away, and for a moment her heart aches at the absence of him. He is quick to pull her back to him as he rolls onto his back, and Leida sighs contentedly as she settles against his chest.

His hands trail lazily along her back, playing with stray lilac locks as they languish in the post-bliss haze.

“What happens now?” Leida asks quietly. Ardbert sighs, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“I don’t know,” he admits. “We keep trying to save our worlds. We find a way to keep you from turning into a sin eater. Everything else can come later.”

Leida props herself up on her elbow, small smile playing on her lips as she looks at him. “We?”

“Aye.” Ardbert reaches up, letting his thumb caress her cheek gently as he gives her a faint smile. “I’m afraid you’re stuck with me. For as long as you’ll have me, anyways.”

“I would always have you.” 

“Then will figure it out.”

Ardbert cards his fingers through her hair, sighing in content when Leida leans down to press her lips against his in a slow kiss.

“Together,” she says. 

He knows that this could very well end in heartbreak and failure, that they could fail to save their homes. She could lose herself to the Light when she fells the next Warden, despite his best efforts to keep it contained. He can imagine a hundred and more ways in which it could all go to shit before the week is out, has imagined it time and again.

But with Leida at his side, each horrible scenario seems further and further from being inevitable. 

“Together.”

For the first time in many long years, he dares to hope.

#well i did it lmao #c: leida valroux #x: leida/ardbert #writing tag #g: ffxiv #oc: leida valroux

[wildstar25]

Hello and happy one day until Halloween [:

I’ve been scrolling through your wol posting tag and I absolutely adore Arsay and her throuple with g’raha and y’shtola <3 I was curious, in your canon, what is Raha’s and Shtola’s relationship like without Arsay there and how has it changed over time? Would they count themselves as partners or just partners of Arsay?

Thank you so much for sharing your amazing gposes and artwork for your wol!! It has been a delight to look through. Have a great day [:

omg Thank you!!🥹 I love my catte throuple so much and it's so nice to hear other people like them and the posts I make about them too! That's a really good question. I can't seem to recall making a post about it since being caught up with the msq, so thank you for asking!

This ended up being quite long so I've place it under a read more haha apologies for rambling so much! As well, Happy halloween o/

Initially Shtola and Raha both considered themselves partners to Arsay first and foremost. They both cared for Arsay deeply and agreed to this poly situation because, after everything she's done for them, they wanted to do something for her that would make her happy. I also like to believe because they started off on the wrong foot, it took time for the two to build up trust in each other.

I have many side thoughts about how Raha held himself back while he lived out the persona of the Crystal Exarch, how his hesitance to the relationship caused Arsay to get upset, and how Y'shtola essentially saved the whole polycule very early on by telling the Exarch to get his head out of his ass stop living dishonestly and start thinking about what he really wants to do with his life. How that gave him the spark to think about the possibility of transferring his memories over to the version of himself on the source, since this version of him will never be free from the tower's grasp.

By the time everyone returns to the first, Raha and Shtola consider themselves trusted friends and deeply respect the importance they both have to Arsay. No words about it are exchanged, but there's a mutual understanding that for as long as this can go on for the three of them, it will. Shtola and Raha actually end up spending casual time together in the Rising Stones while Arsay is off doing warrior of light stuff. Turns out they actually have a lot to talk about together. Mostly about magical studies, but Y'shtola strikes me as someone who would be mildly curious to know of the event that took place in the timeline they erased, and Raha for sure would have loved to learn about Y'shtola's involvement in the warring triad stuff and the alexander raids. Plus they can theorize about history and mysteries of both the first and the source! By the time Endwalker starts, Arsay has noticed everyone seems a lot more comfortable with each other. She started asking to spend time all together more often then not. There was no real objections to this surprisingly. They all settle into a consistent dynamic around each other pretty naturally. If you were to ask Raha or Shtola how they defined their relationship at that point they would probably say they were just Arsay's partners and leave it at that. Ask Arsay and she might let slip how she caught the two snuggled up to each other while they were reading on the couch at her apartment.

[end of endwalker 6.0 spoilers from this point]

The next shift between the two is while on the Ragnarok waiting for Arsay to regain consciousness. I have a particular scene in my head which i cant gpose out since I don't have access to the environment so here it is described: --

Y'shtola has placed herself against the wall of the ship, shifting from pose to pose doing her best to contain her nervous energy. They did all that they could to seal up as many of Arsay's wounds as possible. Still it was impossible to tell just how much blood Arsay had split prior to her arrival. What Y'shtola could see is that Arsay's aether was unbelievably weak, having been all but spent in a final clash with (presumably) Zenos. For all Y'shtola knew, Arsay's body arrived to them too late. Her head began to spiral at the thought. So much so that she had failed to notice G'raha had torn himself from Arsay's side to stand next to her. He looked at Y'shtola with a pitiful face, eyes puffy and red, lips pressed into a trembling frown. Neither of them had the wherewithal to speak at this point, and Y'shtola most certainly did not want to. Twelve forbid if a single being on that ship heard her voice shake or crack even the slightest. Instead, G'raha timidly put his hand around Y'shtola's and held it. It was a small gesture, something he'd often do whenever Arsay looked in need of support. It was a comfort to her, to hold hands with a loved one. The two stood together in silence. Their gazes fixed on to Arsay's motionless figure laying in the centre of the room. Y'shtola squeezed G'raha's hand ever so slightly. Holding on to someone you love was a great comfort indeed.

-- Perhaps its not an as romantically charged love, but its love! Shtola and Raha are part of Arsay's tribe and they've come to care deeply for each other. Again, I do not believe either would readily admit to those feelings publicly, but in private conversation with Arsay it's obvious how fond of each other they have become. (this is also when shtola and raha begin feeling more comfortable being intimate together with Arsay >w> she is notorious for doing everything for her partner and not really letting herself be focused on. The two of them work as a team to make sure arsay gets some attention *nods* )

And, imo?, their closeness is kinda backed up by the endwalker patch content where G'raha already knew where to find Y'shtola and did not hesitate to get her for the treasure hunt. And then many of the proceeding patches has Y'shtola saying in passing that she's been in constant communication with G'raha. okay yes im not delusional, I know they are brought up because of them having relevance to the things happening or being done in the plot but still! The way the dialogue is phrased I can't help but put my wolship glasses on lol. I figure Raha and Shtola keep pretty consistent contact even when they are busy doing their own thing, same as Arsay does with them. The most recent development for my wolship is that by 6.5, they are all pretty much married to each other. Unofficially, that is. No ceremony is held or anything of that vein. It was more that they all finally managed to say out loud how much they want to be in each other's lives no matter where the future takes them.

Eventually I picture the three of them getting a proper house together. Arsay surprises G'raha by importing a bunch of furnishings from the crystarium, and dedicates an entire room just for Y'shtola's book collection. She also brings back some flowers native to the Greatwoods for decoration. Until then though home is wherever they are together!

So yeah! thats the break down of grah and shtola part of graharshtola!

thank you for reading, asking the question, and sending such a sweet message about my blorbos. Hope you have a fantastic day <3

#graharshtola #WOL posting #Arsay Nun #Arsay Nun Lore #kinda #mostly just tagging that since its easier to search haha #it really does make me so happy when people enjoy my gposes #I make them for myself primarily but if what I do brightens another person's day then that makes me even more happy 🥹

[picaroroboto]

When someone does a terrible thing, in both real life and in fiction, we as onlookers find ourselves immediately asking "Why?". In real life even an understandable or relatable motive rarely justifies most crimes, while in fiction, we may actually judge evil actions less harshly if they were done with good intentions (or if the perpetrator is hot, but that's another issue)

(forgive me for interrupting my scheduled Fateposting for Zenosposting. again.)

From the moment he first appears on-screen, Zenos is just so dang weird that I think most players' reactions to him, whether they like him or not, is to wonder "Why?" - "Who is this guy, why is he like this, why does he do what he does, why is he obsessed with my player character?" and so on. What's interesting about this urge to know what's up with him is that understanding/not understanding others is a key theme of Zenos's character. He doesn't understand other people or care about their motives, doesn't even really care to try because he treats others as if they're a different species of animal than him, and doesn't even care to explain or justify his own motives until confronted. To him any motive is as good as any other, he's just chosen to live for his own hedonism. Even on a meta-level he resists being understood - which is to say that it's very possible to get a shallow reading of him, "Oh, he's just crazy.", and run with that without ever looking at the deeper level because you've already decided that this perceived insanity doesn't justify his crimes.

This is why it feels like such a huge and meaningful change that his character development in Endwalker is marked by him asking the WoL so many questions - genuinely trying to understand them instead of projecting himself onto them, genuinely trying to connect with another person for the first time.

Now that I reach the end of this post I realize that there's not really any major points here that I haven't made in other posts. When I played Endwalker, I approached the idea of the final confrontation with Zenos with my WoL wanting to ask "Why?" - not that he's looking for a justification, because he finds Zenos's actions unforgivable, but because he's the type of hero who wants to understand even his enemies. Ironically, or fittingly, that need to understand is what keeps him human, from being like the mindless beast Zenos thought he was.

I don't really ship ZenosWoL because I can't see the feelings as being mutual for my WoL, but the desire to understand one another counts for something. His pursuit of the WoL might be what constitutes "love" in Zenos's mind, but as far as I'm concerned, "wanting to understand" another person is what I consider "love".

#ff14 #ffxiv #zenos yae galvus #zenos viator galvus #zenoswol #endwalker #endwalker spoilers #meta posting on my art blog

[blackestnight]

trick or treat! 🍬

send an ask with "trick or treat!" for a fic-related surprise.

the real surprise is that this one is NOT a wip or a ficlet...instead i am going to ramble at you about Thought Processes and Headcanons, specifically regarding this fic (that i remember you liked) and specifically ft @nuclearanomaly's bookshop/punk band au

jayne was like "yeah hanami's here she's a cryptid and fray's friend and she drives a truck and scares the shit out of everyone" which, tbh, is her ideal form. she deserves to be vaguely menacing in the background of everyone's rom-com plots. she and fray both live with sid and rielle, a collective which is known as "the heckhouse" (formerly "the hellhouse," but there's a kid living here, c'mon, watch the language). absolutely no one in the band knows what the fuck is going on with that house and none of them are brave enough to ask.

i definitely alluded to both hanami and fray having had some kind of problems with alcoholism in the past, although tbh i still don't have anything super specific in my head about their early friendship (other than "they met when fray passed out from exhaustion after a 14-hour shift at a children's hospital while doing his residency and hanami literally tripped over him in an alley while she was walking to the parking garage and asked if he was dead"). i wanted to give them the "edging on unhealthily codependent" vibes that i Adore in any fray+wol dynamic, though. you can't fix them and whatever is wrong with them is more compelling anyway.

the entire heckhouse dynamic is great, though, because they all bounce off each other in the funniest ways. sid and hanami performatively hate each other but are also first in line to drag each other out of trouble, fray and sid are ride-or-die eternal partners in crime, rielle bullies everyone in the way only a twelve-year-old girl can.

family outings are fun too.

random classmate of rielle, pointing at fray: hey, is that your dad? rielle: no...? pointing at sid: oh. is that your dad? rielle: gross! no. pointing at hanami: well then who's that? rielle: THAT'S my dad.

#final fantasy xiv #oc: hanami hagane #ask meme #drk things #ask #newty #TY BRI i had more stuff in my head but i am. sleeby. #hanami is the Ultimate Parent and she gets to hold it over sid forever

[woltourney]

ROUND 1 / SIDE A / POLL 4

Eleutherios (@trans-estinien) v. Katarh Mest (@katarh-mest)

Eleutherios:

q. What is your WoL name and pronouns? a. Eleutherios, He/Him

q. What is your WoL's species? a. Unsundered Ancient

q. What is your WoL's class? Or classes? a. Currently (as of 5.3 onwards) Eleutherios' main job is Dark Knight

q. What data centre/server are you on, if you want people to find you? a. Eleutherios Azem on Sargatanas, Aether!

q. Tell us a bit about your WoL! a. Have you ever thought "Huh, I wonder how the story of Final Fantasy XIV would change if Azem was never sundered?" WELL DO I HAVE THE WARRIOR OF LIGHT FOR YOU! Introducing Eleutherios! The lovable Azem who spent his days travelling Etheirys, caring for its people, and annoying the Convocation. Until everything fell apart, of course. On the eve of the Sundering, he denounced both the Convocation and Venat, choosing to find his own path to end the Final Days. Paths that didn't involve summoning gods or killing half of the star's population and then some. But Venat and the others had chosen their courses, and fate had been set. Now, Eleutherios should have died when Hydaelyn broke the world. But he did not. Why? Well, because of the timeline splitting in two. When? When a traveller from the future arrived in Elpis to learn the truth of the Final Days, of course. This traveller? Eleutherios himself. Hydaelyn had spared him from Her spell, making him Her chosen, in the same vein as the Unsundered Ascians being chosen to carry out Zodiark's will. Eleutherios believed the Ascians' plan to restore the world to what it once was foolish. Their people were dead. Nothing can fix that. They just have to push forward and make the best of the future they've been given. But his fellow Unsundered couldn't see this, trapped in their ideals of what the star should be. They needed to see it for what it is. But how could he expect the Convocation to do that, when the only one of them who ever seemed to care about the individual lives of the people was him? So someone has to fight for the new life springing up across the star. And thus began his great work. He's risen up to be the Warrior of Light countless times, over and over, for eons. With each Rejoining marking another failure. Time and time again he had to watch as everything he fought for was reduced to ash. Once, twice, seventh. It seemingly never ended. But what choice did he have? If he didn't fight against the Ascians, he was practically working for them by letting them get away with these atrocities. And so he carries onward as he's always done. But unbeknownst to him, this time was different. This time he meets the Scions of the Seventh Dawn. This time he travels to another Shard and manages to prevent a Rejoining. This time he isn't alone to face the second Final Days. This time, everything will finally be ok.

q. Why should YOU win? (Answer IC!) a. "Well, I'll be honest with you, I don't mind if I win or not. I just like participating and getting to know everyone! Oh, and I'll promise I'll hold back, for their sake. Though if they're Warriors of Light I'm sure they'll all hold up just fine! But if you want a serious answer about why I specifically should win, then…" [Eleutherios takes a moment to think.] "I should win based off of the fact that I have eons more experience in this whole 'Warrior of Light' business than the rest of them do. I've been at it since the Sundering! Not to say that my many, many years of experience is needed to be a Warrior of Light, or that I'm better than the rest, which couldn't be further from the truth. I think we all stand equal, sundered or not."

q. Anything else you wanna add? a. I have so much more lore for Eleutherios and I had to cut down this introductory essay by a LOT. I'm currently working on an extended version which covers ALL of his lore. If you want more Eleutherios content just send me an ask on tumblr, or scroll through the [#eleutherios (azem)] and [#unsundered azem au] tags! I'm always happy to talk about him!!

Katarh Mest:

q. What is your WoL name and pronouns? a. Katarh Mest, She/Her

q. What is your WoL's species? a. Highlander Hyur

q. What is your WoL's class? Or classes? a. Summoner/Scholar

q. What data centre/server are you on, if you want people to find you? a. Lamia

q. Tell us a bit about your WoL! a. Katarh grew up in Ala Mihgo, and left to study at the conjurer's guild when she was about fifteen. She lived there happily until the city fell, and her parents were killed. All her sisters survived because they too were in other city states. She served in the battle of Cartenau for Gridania as a healer, but disappeared until one day she found herself right back outside the city gates. No one remembered her. And she had no memory of the last five years. Still, there's always someone in need of healing, and she quickly found herself back at the conjurer's guild, starting over from scratch. She didn't mean to become a hero. Not the first time, and not later on. She discovered the art of summoning after visiting one of her sisters in Limsa (who DID remember her, but had no clue where she had been for the last few years) and switched from being a conjurer to an arcanist full time. Sometimes heroes are just in the right place at the right time, or so she thought. She does it because it's the right thing to do, although she wishes that she could have a bit more time to herself some days. She's middle aged, tired, and cranky. She swears like a sailor (too much time in Limsa.) In her free time, she likes to fish.

q. Why should YOU win? (Answer IC!) a. "I've seen some shit. And I'm probably old enough to be your mom. Of course I should win. Have you ever seen the size of the Nepto Dragon I hauled in two years ago?"

q. Anything else you wanna add? a. A WoL can be 45 and still be young at heart

#💎 round one #💎 shout #shadowbringers spoilers #endwalker spoilers

[redwayfarers]

cold nights in ishgard

Fandom: FFXIV Ship: Nika/Artoirel, Nika/Minfilia Characters: Nika Perseis (WoL), Artoirel de Fortemps, Emmanellain de Fortemps, Minfilia Warde (mentioned), Haurchefant Greystone (mentioned) Rating: Gen Spoilers: Heavensward spoilers Words: 1664 Read on ao3

Ishgard is oddly pretty at night. Colder, sure, but fucking Coerthas is always cold, day and night, and layers are not an issue whatsoever when you’re an honored guest at a noble family’s mansion. It also makes streets less crowded, as much as a city of Ishgard’s size can be. Nika avoided walking outside alone to places beyond the three he’d instantly memorized the path to when he first came to the city and when he had few means to ask around for directions. 

Thankfully, he now has a guide. A handsome one at that, but he refuses to do more than just acknowledge that sentiment. In the days following the grand melee, he and Artoirel have taken on a rather pleasant ritual of evening walks. Nika’s been Ishgard’s champion for a lot more than he’d intended now and his duel with Raubahn is on the lips of all of Eorzea. He also happens to have a very recognizable face thanks to that faded, large scar that Thancred once joked now made them equal in handsomeness. 

Years ago, he might’ve taken a slight offense to that. Now, Nika has so little energy to dwell on minor edges of a friendship he himself massacred beyond recognition. Fuck that, he has so little energy to do anything beyond self-pitying and wanting to crawl out of his skin to escape the pressure in his chest. 

But Artoirel helps. The tapping of his shoes against the stone promenade brings Nika back to reality every time. It makes him focus on the rhythm of his own footsteps - click, click, clack, clack, an off-beat song of two bodies who lost things, lost people. Haurchefant had been a brother to both of them. Now his ghost lingers over the whole Fortemps household and the souls who lived there. 

Nika looks up. Wind’s playing with Artoirel’s hair, tossing it this way and that. It matches the night sky, blue where Nika’s own is black, a subtle difference. When the fuck did he acquire that particular nugget of information? The whole effect Artoirel has on him blurs the minutiae of it. They have matching earrings tonight. The thought makes him weirdly happy. Suddenly, he needs to feel the weight of Artoirel’s clothed palm on his own. 

Same way he yearned to feel Minfilia’s. 

Except he’ll never feel Minfilia’s hand in his again. 

Artoirel’s hand is as rough as hers; there’s no gentle skin where war is your generational legacy, or when you work at mines. It feels like a suitable replacement at times, until he remembers that Minfilia could have comfortably placed her head on Nika’s chest, and with Artoirel, the roles are reversed. What a looming presence, his brother de Fortemps. 

Brother’s never felt like a shittier word. 

But hey, he at least has equal entertainment watching him fight with his hair. “Told you to tie it back,” Nika says in a strained, casual voice, because he can’t speak like a normal person these days. 

“An advice I had staunchly decided to ignore,” Artoirel replies, and then, in a lighter, almost intimate tone, “maybe to my own detriment.” 

“At least I’m enjoying the losing battle,” Nika shrugs and looks at his offensively expensive walking boots. “You’re fun to watch, count de Fortemps.” 

“Do not call me that,” Artoirel sighs. “I am still growing accustomed to it.” 

“If I say it enough, it’ll get to your head faster.” 

“You’re impossible.” There’s a smile in Artoirel’s voice, so suited to ordering men on the field, deep and even and perfectly trained to be so, but then there are smiles in it that break it. Nika wishes to curl against his side like an indulgent cat. But they are in public, and they are brothers. 

Nevertheless, Nika offers what he can. It’s small, it’s brittle, but he feels brittle anyway and he’s nothing if not honest to a fault. Haurchefant was too. Except he sparked hope and happiness, whereas Nika’s honesty is more like a knife. “I am glad to be of service.” 

“That you are,” Artoirel says. He then turns all serious again. “How are you doing these days?” 

“Me?” 

“Yes. These recent events have been.. Tumultuous for all of us. Most of all for you.” 

Nika frowns. “Losing people feels like absolute shit, Artoirel.” 

“That is not an answer to my question.” Artoirel stops and crosses his arms. He looks at Nika with such worry in his eyes that it makes him squirm where he stands. “You don’t have to answer me now. I merely wanted to assure you that you can rely on your friends in your time of need.” 

“Assurance noted, now don’t–” Words die on his tongue when he feels long fingers on the crease between neck and shoulder, ruffling the white lace cravat.  Part of him wants it gone, and for those fingers to tease the skin beneath. But another, the one that suddenly burns in shame and pain and grief, kicks it away like a stray puppy. 

“Do not brush it off,” Artoirel repeats. The lull of his voice and the weight of his touch steadies Nika. He had no fucking idea he needed steadying at all. “It is genuine. Fury, I am genuine. I don’t find pleasure in seeing you shoulder this burden alone.” His eyes find Nika’s. The calmness of his words does little to stop the whirlwind in his eyes, and it’s a pain Nika knows. It’s a pain they share. 

It’s a pain they will both have to live with for the rest of their lives. The dead don’t come to life. 

Nika raises a hand and holds Artoirel’s wrist. The fabric beneath his fingers feels exquisite. “The woman I loved is gone, Artoirel,” he says gravely. “My friend - your brother - is gone, trying to save me. We almost lost Aymeric, too. Nothing will make the pain go away.” He blinks to stave off tears. “Have I ever told you about my father? He died when I was a kid. I don’t remember him well, I was that young. I feel his absence even today. My mother and I have been feeling his absence for the last twenty years. It will never go away. The sooner I get used to it, the better.” 

Artoirel looks around. Then, moments later, he crushes Nika against his chest. Nika lets out a small oh, looking up at his face. His eyes are wild, locking on Nika’s like his life depends on it. He imagines Artoirel’s heart to beat just as wildly as his is, or maybe it’s not imagination, not with the way his lips part slightly and his gaze falls lower. 

And gods help him, he’s looking at Artoirel’s lips too. They’re small and tight and he’d kill just to be able to chew on that lower lip– 

He isn’t Minfilia. 

Nika looks away, refusing to let go of Artoirel’s wrist. The moment falls as treasonously as it began and he’s painfully aware of where he is, what he’s doing. Artoirel’s touch burns, but it mixes with shame so well that he can’t will himself to part. Not truly. He holds his wrist like a lifeline, like it will chase the shame away. 

It won’t. Nothing ever will. Nika closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. 

“Nika, I apologize, I– Nika? Why are you crying?” 

Nika’s face feels like hellfire. His eyes prickle, and he tries to snarl at the sensation, but finds he doesn’t quite have the strength to. He opens his mouth to speak, but his voice struggles to swim to the surface. When it does come, however, it sounds broken beyond repair. “She loved Eorzea more than me,” he says, tight and small. It’s a tip of the dagger under the skin. It’s embarrassing, but he can’t make it work any other way, which only makes him cry harder. “She loved Eorzea enough to sacrifice my devotion to her to save it. I’m betraying her memory, Artoirel, there was no fucking chance of anything, yet this feels so dirty–”

Artoirel’s face crumbles, too. “I’ve made you uncomfortable.” He lets go of him, but Nika wraps his arms around his chest and presses his face against the ends of his cravat, as if trying to melt into his skin. “I assure you, I haven’t any–” 

“No, no, you remind me of her, and I want, I want–” Nika sniffles. His words come out rushed, beaten out of him by the pain in his chest. “I want so much, but Minfilia–” He hiccups on the name, pressing his fingers into Artoirel’s coat, and he cries, and cries, and cries, and Artoirel wraps his arms around him and just holds. At some point, he says something to a random passerby, but Nika doesn’t care. 

He’s pathetic enough anyway.    

They stay like that for a while on a cold Ishgardian night. Artoirel leads him home later and guides him to his bedroom. “Sleep now,” he says, and Nika feels too drained to do more than nod and obediently lay down. Sleep finds him rather quickly, and moments before Nika drifts off, he sees Artoirel linger by the door. 

Whatever dreams find him tonight, maybe he’ll be the star in them. Or more likely, Minfilia. 

Maybe it’s all one and the same. 

Nika falls asleep. 

**

(It takes no more than a day for rumours of the new Count de Fortemps and the savior of Ishgard hugging on the street to reach the ears of Emmanellain de Fortemps. For the sake of his brother, and Nika too, he fights them when he can. He tells Artoirel as much, and he rewards Emmanellain’s efforts with a small smile and words of gratitude. Nika just squints and refuses to engage in conversation. 

But Emmanellain knows. He knows what’s afoot. And apparently, Artoirel and Nika know too. It may take them some time to accept it, however. That is alright. Watching the love unfold is very, very entertaining in the meantime.)

#ffxiv #nero plays ffxiv #inspo birb has come to town #nika perseis #artoirel de fortemps #minfilia warde #emmanellain de fortemps #nika x artoirel #nika x minfilia #wolship #ffxiv wol #wol #ffxiv writing #ffxiv fic #heavensward spoilers #once more the three people who read these you are champs you deserve better than just sad nika fics but it's all i can write rn. he is sad #i am joking. kinda. #lurkers are a thing and i write for myself but yanno. #maybe leave a like if you like my littol fics? #i'm not here to beg for notes tho lets talk fic commentary #1) i'm technically going through a smol heartbreak rn so. inspired by real life #2) nika is so fucked like. how disturbed are you here artoirel? #idk man. he is just a very fucked up dude who is trying his best. kinda. #and i care him #also nika and artoirel height difference <3