#but i just know i cant ignore them i can't carry on as i am its downright irresponsible when there's a chance i could be happy | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

player1064 · 4 months

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Prompt from this post: https://www.tumblr.com/xtsukinoax/673521724855402496/it-cant-be-better?source=share

DO WHAT YOU WILL if you choose <3

SO obsessed with this tweet I can't stop thinking about it like why did he say that. why did he say that. SCREAMS.

thanks for the prompt!! here's 933 words of just. fluff.

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“I honestly don’t understand how yous’ve made it this far in life, Gary, look at the state of you.”

Gary blinks a few times, unsteady on his feet, as he takes a second to process what Jamie’s saying.

“I’m fine, Carra. ‘s been a busy couple’a weeks, is all. It’ll slow down again soon.”

“You’ve been havin’ a busy couple of weeks for the last ten year! How many times’ve you gotta be told to slow down before you actually listen?”

Another pause.

“Jamie. I’m fine. Look, I jus’ need – I just need t’go home, have some dinner, get me eight hours. I’ll see you in the mornin’, yeah?”

“No.”

“No?”

“No, I’m not lettin’ you get behind the wheel when you’re like this.”

“So, what, yer gonna drive me home? Bit of a detour, that.”

It’d be a lot of a detour, considering they’ve just finished covering a match at Anfield. Jamie’s half an hour away from comfy clothes and a pizza delivery, it’d be a shame to have to drive all the way to and from Manchester and delay it.

Only one thing for it, then.

“You’re comin’ home with me.”

After the second’s delay for Gary to process again, he scoffs. “Am I fuck.”

Somewhere, buried very far in the back of Jamie’s mind, a little voice is reminding him that Gary is a multi-millionaire and could afford the cab fare home. He ignores it and steers Gary towards his car instead.

The drive to Jamie’s house is done in near silence, the radio volume turned low because Jamie knows when he’s this tired any extra noise’ll just give Gary a headache. When they get in, he leaves the overhead lights off and turns a lamp on instead, then leaves Gary on the sofa while he wanders off to order the pizzas and to get changed.

He’s pulling on his tracksuit when he realises Gary’s still stuck in his work clothes, which just doesn’t make any sense if Jamie’s insisting he stay the night, so he digs around for some things that might fit him and carries them back downstairs, stopping to grab the duvet off his bed as he goes.

“Pizza’ll be here in ten,” he says as he enters the living room. He drops the change of clothes onto Gary’s lap. “Here, there’s a bathroom down the hall you can get dressed in.”

Gary blinks, looks at the clothes in confusion, then looks at the duvet that Jamie’s unceremoniously dropped onto the empty side of the couch.

“Y’re bein’ weird, James,” he says, but gets up and wanders off down the hall without complaint.

When he comes back, Jamie pats the sofa cushion beside him and asks “what channel d’you want TV on?”

“Ugh. Anything but football.”

Jamie scrolls through the channel guide for all of ten seconds before deciding that a) it’s only background noise, so he doesn’t actually care what they watch, and b) he’s got the perfect opportunity to be very, very annoying.

“Sex and the City it is, then. What’s it say… season four, episode twelve. You seen this one?”

Jamie’s never seen an episode of the show in his life, and, judging by the glare Gary shoots him, he hasn’t either. Well. First time for everything!

The pizza arrives, and they eat in front of the TV, Jamie ‘hmm’ing and ‘ahh’ing at all of Gary’s annoyed comments about the show.

“Who’s this now?” (“I don’t know, Gaz, it’s my first time watchin’ it too.”)

“D’you ever find American accents quite tricky to understand?” (“I think you’re probably just tired. You’re understandin’ me just fine.”) (“Been stuck tryn’ta understand your Scouse mutterin’ for last ten year, would hope I’ve got the hang of it by now.”)

“Oh! Y’didn’t tell me there’d be sex in this and all!” (“It’s literally called Sex and the City you twat.”)

The duvet remains draped menacingly over the back of the couch until Jamie comes back from putting the empty pizza boxes in the kitchen, at which point he sits back down, ever so slightly closer to Gary this time (though not close enough to spook him), and pulls it onto his lap.

Gary looks at him, spooked.

Christ, but he’s hard work sometimes. Jamie figures the best thing to do is pretend like this is perfectly normal, just two grown men sharing a duvet, so he spreads it out to cover both of them.

Gary still looks spooked, sitting there rigidly upright with wide eyes fixed unblinkingly on the TV. Jamie shuffles closer to him. Throws an arm over the back of the couch, no part of him making contact with Gary but still very much… there.

Slowly, slowly, Gary leans back.

By the next ad break, he’s asleep, his head lolled forwards, chin resting on his chest. Jamie pulls the duvet up higher around him and turns the TV volume down.

By the ad break after that, Gary’s slumped further into the couch, and if Jamie shifts just an inch or so – their sides would be pressed together. Gary doesn’t stir. Jamie lets his arm drop to his shoulders. Still nothing.

Gary’s warm, his weight solid at Jamie’s side. Jamie shuts his eyes, just for a second.

When he opens them again, it’s still dark out but the TV’s gone into standby and his watch tells him it’s still too early an hour to really be called morning.

There’s also a Manc drooling into his chest, one arm draped across his waist.

There are worse places to be, Jamie thinks, and lets himself drift back to sleep.

#probably will be a bit slow w drabbles now that weekend is over #but to anyone who's sent one I See it and I Am thinking about all of them all the time #so I Will eventually get to all of them i prommy #carraville #drabbles

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autisticempathydaemon · 21 days

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hello everynyan :3 /ref

4 the redacted match-ups ! not sure if you're still doing these or not bc i'll be damned i'd give up after the first 3 🙌🙌🙌 power 2 ya ! (if you ARE, in fact, not doing these anymore pls ignore this. this never happened. kay.)

What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why?

this was the hardest question bc i LOVEEMUSIC so bad i can never really pick ONE fav bc it changes every 2 seconds but !!! gun to my head as of rn i'd say -- "but not kiss" - faye webster

'i want to see you in my dreams,

but then forget.

we're meant to be,

but not yet.

you're all that i have,

but can't get.'

i chose this song primarily because of the aesthetics & instrumental,, + the feels - i love how the piano carries and portrays every feeling (dread? maybe?) alongside the vocalist ugh sick to my stomach /pos

as for the verses i've chosen i just. really like the way she sings them HA i guess depending on my current mood i might relate to the lyrics for .5 seconds due to a past relationship of mine that had me fuckedd anyway.

Do you love gargantuan Youtube video essays, and if so, which is your favorite and why?

i WISH i could enjoy these as much as others but i have the attention spam of a fucking goldfish i need to be stimulated 24/7. i cannot stare at the same face and occasional photo/clip for over 10 mins.

i might watch more of em if they had like a satisfying slime video in the corner or smth. i find i only watch ones that have a topic/interest of mine that i am actively curious about/into????if that makes sense??

for instance, the only one that comes to mind rn is "in defense of chat noir" by toon ruins UGH ITS SO GOOD i used to be a huge fan of miraculous so that defffinitely takes part in why i rewatch it every few months.

What is your go-to way to fall asleep?

on my stomach. arms under pillows. one leg up. yo i bought these headphones made specifically for sleeping while listening to relaxing noises or smth & i kid you not i use them shits to listen to asmr/rp audios. sometimes it puts me to sleep other times i'm up all night tryna figure out what position the listener and 'character' are in. anyway!!!

If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why? (In tandem, if you have changed your name, why did you pick that one?)

first thing that comes 2 mindd for whatever reason is 'may' ?? possibly bc i really like my birth name already and 'may' is somewhat close to it already? also because i'd love writing it over and over in my handwriting . probably just an excuse to write the letter 'y' actually.

What is your favorite of Redacted’s audios, and why?

fav character changes ALLL THE TIMEE for no reason my fav is all of them rlly i just wanna love and be loved BUT when i reaaaally think about it ?? hudson. even though he's like. an easter egg. i cant have anything. wanna "D D D D DDDJJJ ANXIETY" into his pants. what. who said that. just got hacked wtff

What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don’t get the hype for. (I won’t judge, I promise.)

a know a LOTT of ppl love david but i am sorry i just cannot. angel better than me idk how they do it. srry. my momma raised a bitch. i've never ever gotten to finishing any of his videos so maybe im the problem but from the get-go THIS BITCH IS SCARY BRO he's so damn intimidating . the fact that his voice is rlly deep doesn't help either :C ..& don't even get me started on early david.

Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend?

this is such a good question rlly makin me think . hmm . OK I FEEL LIKE A BASIC BlTCH BC PPL HAVE BEEN SAYIN THIS ALREADY BUT . hux. we like this 🤞 . as for why?? i feel like i need and would . honestly really appreciate more,, warmth and positivity in my life - and i def get that sorta 'aura' from him. & i know damn well he'd give the best hugs. and we could go to the gym together. it'd be so fun. so precious.

Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it? (For example, my boyfriend knows I’m ready to sleep when I start talking about space.)

ok first of all #relationshipgoals that is so sweet awe :((

i wouldn't say i really 'ramble' per say -- i just talk. to myself. like a normal person. mhm. i struggle with sleep in general, so i'm usually up till like 5am. typically endlessly scrolling through my phone, or talking to the abyss about something personal that's been on my mind for a while. if it's really bad, i cry in my voice memos. if i just need to - refresh? get smth off my mind so i can sleep? i write songs.

...and then i record them on my $15 wireless headphones. onto that very same voice memos app.

Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo.

if im being honest,, depends on my mood . but god could i fuck up some strawberry milk and mini oreos right about now. . mind you i've had strawberry milk like once but it changed my life u dont understand

Tell me about your favorite playlist at the moment.

i mean i don't listen to it 24/7 but man i outdid myself w this one. it's called "insanity" and every single song matches the vibe of . just straight up 'otherworldly' ?? if u catching what im throwin?? all songs r pretty 'out-there' - in terms of the vibes - at least i like to think so. for reference it has songs like "goth - sidewalks and skeletons" and "eternal youth - růde" . IDK i guess it makes me happy when songs from a playlist actually match up with one other

What’s your guilty pleasure media, and why?

i listen to this japanese-kawaii-metal-based group called BABYMETAL and i loveee them soso much. a few "metal enthusiasts" go out and call their work 'not real metal' , which is why i guess you can technically call their music a pleasure media -- as well as the fact that whenever i put on one of their songs mfs r like ... what is this - cause its three young japanese girls talking abt bubblegum with the the most insane guitar riff in the back. their newer stuff is incredible. womanhood at it's finest. give them a shot plspls /nf

ALL DONE !! ty 4 reading & have a lovely day/night, wherever you may be <3

Oh, this one is perfect and required, like, no thought. Vibes-wise? Given your energy? It’s just gotta be Guy.

Building on that, I love that you write songs and he writes screenplays(?). I think it’s so cute to pair writers together so that you might inspire one another and be each other's biggest fans. I also like Guy for you because he strikes me as one of those people who calls themselves “polyjamorous”, listening to basically anything and everything. He loves all your songs and all your playlists, vibing along to all of it even if there’s no words or words in another language. He doesn’t care: he’s with you, so he’s having a good time.

I would predict a fun, artistic life for the two of you like parallel-playing co-writing sessions with the two of you having individual headphones on, making funny faces at one another when you catch the other staring. You take turns showing each what you’ve created and hyping each other up, offering critique. When the writer's clock keeps y’all up till 3 AM, he’s got leftover pizza and any snacks you could possibly want. (He strikes me as the sort of guy who always has junk food caches.)

Song:

It was just two lovers/ Sittin' in the car, listening to Blonde/ Fallin' for each other/ Pink and orange skies, feelin' super childish/ No Donald Glover/ Missed call from my mother/ Like, "Where you at tonight?" Got no alibi/ I was all alone with the love of my life

Given your passion for music, I tried to pick a love song for y’all that was emotionally evocative to the mind and the ear. I chose this one because I thought the piano instrumental and how it evokes that mental imagery of sitting with someone during the golden hour might resonate with you. I also like it for y’all because this song got really popular on tiktok, and Guy would probably know it from there.

Runner-ups:

Obviously, we have to have Hudson as a runner-up. As a DJ, he’d be so loving and so supportive of your craft, hyping you up on air all the time and playing your work whenever he can. He’d also make you really bomb-ass playlists. A less obvious runner-up would be Anton, but I really like this one. You’d be more of an opposites attract sort of pair, but I think it’d be cute, and listening to music would remind Anton of you while he’s away~

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

#redactedasmr #redactedverse #redacted asmr #redactedaudio #redacted audio #redacted #busybee matches

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aspiringwarriorlibrarian · 8 months

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Hello,

Ive been following you for years and I love your blog. In all my years on this website I have never posted, sent an ask or a message, commented or interacted with anyone on this website in any way. However seeing your recent posts about Palestine made me feel like I had to say something.

Just because you support the “weaker” side, it doesn’t make you immune to lies and propaganda.

Please educate yourself before you spread misinformation and/or misleading info.

I am a citizen of Israel. This conflict started when Hamas brutally murdered hundreds of innocent civilians, including elderly and children. They kidnapped over a hundred more. They are known for being a terrorist organisation whose stated goal is to murder jews.

I am terrified. My people are forever scarred. I and everyone I know have lost loved ones in this war. And the fact that people like you in these terrible times choose to focus solely on the suffering of the Palestinians, ignoring and justifying our suffering, speaks volumes.

The bombings you speak of, are a retaliation for the slaughter of October 7th. Israel warns citizens in advance, in order to prevent as many casualties as possible. But we cant just ignore the murder, kidnapping, rape and harm to our people like you do. We have no choice but to defend ourselves.

We have no interest nor desire to commit genocide against the Palestinian people. If we did, we would have already done so. Instead we financially support Palestine, despite the fact they use this money not to better their lives, but to instead attack our civilians.

Beware of misinformation like the accusations against Israel for bombing the hospital in Gaza. That is a straight up lie that was proven false, and the Hamas spread it along with lies about how many people got hurt, in order to convince people like you that they are justified. And its working.

Before you accuse others, maybe check your own biases and think to yourself why a Palestinian life is worth something to you and an Israeli one isn’t.

Can you even imagine what it feels like to go online after such a tragedy for a little relief, only to see people like you calling for my death?

And yes, that is what you’re doing by supporting and encouraging the actions of Hamas. An organisation that cares more about killing innocent civilians like me than protecting its own people.

I hope that if you can’t take the time to properly understand this complicated situation, you will at least stop talking about something that you clearly don’t understand.

You know, I put all of this in a private post initially. I've been largely focused on spreading charity posts, actual concrete things that can be done to save the innocent people caught in the crossfire. But clearly, my message has been mixed, so I'll define it right here.

This is just something that seeps into my bones and I had to say it somewhere: the sheer refusal by both sides to admit what they're doing. Oh, we thought that music festival was soldiers....wait no we didn't, it was random Gazan civilians who did it instead, not us, hurt them instead. Oh we are going to wage all out war....no those innocent civilian casaulties weren't us, it was them! (No, the cause of the explosion has not been independently proven. It has, however, been proven that Israel shelled the place three days earlier as a "warning" then called ordering an evacuation shortly before.) Put down an evacuation order so short and so sudden the UN protests that civilians can't possibly get out in time, then bomb one of the convoys. Tell your countrymen the evacuation order was fake so you get more human shields. More rockets! More airstrikes! More "accidents" to the tune of hundreds of civilians dead, and you never have to carry the burden or the blame for any of it. Shoot from far enough away, target enough civilians, makes it easy, makes it fun. The glory of war with none of the guilt and none of the risk! Ain't that a wonderful thing. Ain't that a fucking joke.

I grieve for the innocent Israeli citizens slaughtered because Hamas cowards wanted to kill the defenseless. I grieve for the people in Gaza getting slaughtered because neither side cares if they live or die. The difference between the two is not that one life is worth more than the others. That is morally repugnant and fundamentally absurd. The difference is that Israel is getting aid from many nations, while other nations only give aid to Hamas, not the people of Gaza. They need humanitarian aid, they need someone to speak for them and beg for restraint, which is why I'm primarily reblogging posts that call for humanitarian aid to them and for a ceasefire so they can, at the very least, have the evacuation time they should have been allowed. It is not because their lives are worth more, but because to far too many, their lives are worth less.

I understand your pain and fear, and I am deeply sorry for your loss. I too find those rooting for Hamas or declaring that the victims deserved it for being settlers repugnant. But the people of Gaza did not do this, and if it's a choice between them living and Hamas dying, I will choose their lives every time. I will always choose life. And I refuse to apologize for that. Violence like this is a cycle, revenge and revenge and revenge again because you cannot kill an idea with bombs, only keep destroying until nothing is left to fight over. You cannot stop a cycle by continuing to spin.

#israel palestine conflict

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cassyapper · 11 months

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What do you think of the fair popular fan interpretation of Kakyoin and Polnareff having a sibling-like relationship and Polnareff seeing a little bit of Sherry in Kakyoin? How do you think he would have reacted to Kakyoin dying (or getting seriously injured) during the final battle?

i absolutely love it to put it simply kakyoin and polnareff's relationship is genuinely so so so important them being brothers in all but blood genuinely oh my god i can't get into my personal stuff but it's just very important to me on an individual level and i think it's important on a narrative level as well yes i love it. i think it's real. i think you have to actively be ignoring text to think otherwise. kakyoin was literally there and fought by polnareff's side when he avenged his kid sister, a sister that would've been around kakyoin's age had she lived, and later takes a very protective role over kakyoin such as carrying him and covering him during the n'doul arc like you cant see all that in conjunction and NOT come to the conclusion that they were brothers in all but blood they were literally fucking family okay jesus they were family i could cry

i think kakyoin dying uh ruined him tbh. i think he's the one likely to have found kakyoin's body and i think all the attempts avdol and kakyoin made to help him deal with his survivor's guilt just completely reversed in that moment i think it got actively worse than it had ever been and explains why he tooks the actions he did in part 5/pre part 5 and why it ended the way it did for him. if kakyoin and avdol were just wounded and not killed i think i could have saved polnareff's life tbh. there'd still be like, a bit of a fight to get him to manage his survivor's guilt properly but i think it would have saved him from being so alone and overwhelmed during the fight for the stand arrow

anyway one thing i'll say is that polnareff definitely sees remnants of sherry in kakyoin but he also knows kakyoin is his own person and he's not trying to replace her with him but it does make it all the more tragic for when kakyoin dies cause now he has two holes in his heart instead of one

anyway i have more posts going into this if ur curious about deeper thoughts:

#cass cries #jjba

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protags-fic-blog · 3 days

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if you don’t mind sharing do you have any spicy otome li headcanons?

OH BOY DO I HAVE HEADCANONS

I've recently gotten in to the hobby of practicing writing more spicy content... and am considering writing some spicier fics and stuff in the future! So no, I don't mind sharing. I'll go with Amnesia and VariBari, since those are the games I've been playing recently. Side note, I tend to use the MC and 'you' interchangeably. Not to say y'all can't have the best gay sex out there but this is going in under the idea of male LI with the fem MCs

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A/N: Not a full out porno, but sex is the topic. Read at your own risk. Also I left it kinda vanilla, especially for the amnesia guys. But I can go spicier. I'm not afraid of Taiga CNC.

---

Amnesia

Shin

VIRGIN AHAHAHAA

he's saving himself for you 🥺

but you know damn well he's reading up on how to properly please a woman

he's under the impression that you are also a virgin. so he won't be mad if you don't know much, sweet and innocent girl that you are

once you go all the way though, there really isn't any turning back, for you or him. casual kisses become desperate make out sessions as you crave for just enough alone time to share the most intimate parts of your body and mind with him

Toma

VIRGIN AHAHAHA

also saving himself for you, in a way. So busy protecting you that he didn't have time for other women.

probably doesn't know how to please a woman. not to bully him but he probably doesn't know where the clit is.

but he tries his best!!! he would be broken if he found out you faked an orgasm for him. it's better to make him feel terrible now than make him feel terrible later.

he wants babies. do with that information what you will.

yeah he's only cumming in you. would beg you to get off birth control. he doesnt have a breeding kink but he really really wants to have a family with you.

Kent

and we're back to virgins.

you can't convince me he's had sex before. you just cant.

wedding night sex!!!!

but, he does know where the pleasure spots are. he's seen enough medical diagrams to know. and ikki probably prepped him up the day before the wedding.

he puts those strong hands to use, if you know what i mean

bruises!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh they hurt so bad but you wear them with pride

gentle aftercare though

Ikki

our first non-virgin!!!!!!!!! woooooooo

gets bitches. no other way to say it.

knows exactly what to do.

he is very much my consent king but he will be the one in charge when it comes to sex.

all those times where he's asked to do things with you? now you have to beg him to stop edging you and properly finish you off

likes to make eye contact with you. all the time. not only because of the way his eyes make you feel, but because he wants you to know that all his focus is on you

Ukyo

sex? never heard of it. ohhhhh, you meant making love?

sex as a form of intimacy and not pleasure. like, yeah he wants you to feel good, but it's the vulnerability of it all that makes it so special

but of course..... he's a little kinky. indulge him a little, yeah? let him choke you every once in a while. he won't kill you, he pinky promised!

it's seen that he owns a pair of handcuffs, no? put that to good use and chain him up. he wants you to have your way with his body. push him to his limits.

---

Variable Barricade

Ichiya Mitsumori

two sets of headcanons for this boy. on one hand, we have the 'he lost his virginity when assaulted', and the other is 'hahaha virgin'.

for the first one, i think I like the sort of guilt of not being able to give his first time to hibari. i think there's a dynamic there to explore. but i am choosing to ignore it for now

you know damn well he waited till the wedding. carefully removing the dress from your soft skin, carrying you to the bed, proving to the world just how amazing love can be

submissive...... but only in the way that he will allow you to have control. he could take it back at any minute but he wants you to feel amazing. let you have him is enough for him.

but eventually. he will beg for some things. but it's less of asking you to do things and more of asking you to allow what he does to you. to let him touch you more, to let him be closer. to take him all the way in, even if it hurts (he'll go slow!)

and you listen. both of you follow through on your promises, both of you embrace as you finally realize that the marriage is consummated, that the deal is sealed, that you are bound together for life.

Taiga Isurugi

definitely not a virgin.

probably thinks ichiya is lame for saving it, but eventually regrets not letting you have it.

but oh BOY does he like you being a virgin. it's like he's forever engraved in your body, permanently changing it in a way no other man can.

likes that you smell like him after sex. really wants to hammer in the idea that you're his

i could go further down that rabbit hole. but he's kinky and wants people to know you're his. if you're thinking what i'm thinking that's my brain telling you that you're right. lets leave it at that. this is more of an ao3 topic.

Shion Mayuzumi

lazy bottom my beloved

not a virgin but doesn't really care

allows himself to just enjoy the sensation of it. but he probably doesnt actively engage in activities often

you get all sweaty and icky and achy and why even bother when you could snuggle or nap?

butttttttt if he finds that you're a little bit pent up, he'll find a way to fix that right up! wink wink. nudge nudge.

matching lingerie

Nayuta Yagami

aggressive bottom

masochism and petplay? you've got a handful.

just relax and let him do all the work.

puts the tongue to good use.

would love a collar and leash. tug on him to get him closer, back to being just right.

probably likes being tied up, but he also wants to do all the work for you, so maybe not

#amnesia memories #variable barricade #i'm maintagging i'm no pussy #protag-writes #add to masterlist #i have more tags to add but i'm tired and sick. so it'll come when i have to update all my html

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kimseokjinn · 6 months

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hi. genuinely how do you deal with this fandom? i am reaching burnt out levels of exhaustion dealing with its whining, witch hunting underdog complex. i get things have been rough but some of them really act out like children. worse, like headless chicken who can't be trusted in society. the level of pettiness infantilization and almost cult like behavior that some parts of it are exhibiting is honestly worrying. and that's without mentioning the feeling of entitlement to the members private moments. i just. so goddamn tired of it all. i have tired but i dont think i can keep interact with it as closely as I've been doing

and i cant speak for them, but I fear the members are also getting sick of it

I simply curate my fandom experience that benefits my level of well-being.

In the beginning, I will admit that I engaged in ridiculous fandom arguments over the idea that Jungkook was essentially carrying BTS on his back. This was back when people loved to make comments about wanting to see Jin enlisting and not being a part of the band because he was a "terrible singer and dancer". Or, that Joon was ugly. After a few months, I decided to step back and realize that these fandom wars were doing nothing but ruining my enjoyment of being an Army.

I decided to limit my time on Twitter because that was a continuous cesspool of nasty armchairs that had no problem putting a lil 7 in their display names while bashing any member that wasn't their bias. Twitter was also being overrun by the deluded shippers who thought that taekook or jikook were in this ill-fated secret relationship. I had to step back and stop before I ended up leaving the fandom altogether

(I will admit that when taemins album was dropping, I went and argued with people who were losing their shit over a song name and album cover💀😅. )

I decided that Tumblr was going to be the only platform where I interacted with the fandom, and while I have been out of the loop, I've still maintained the same love and enjoyment I had when I first joined the fandom.

I don't know what it's been like on other platforms in terms of the things you listed, but I can only imagine it's escalated in the 7 years I've been in this fandom. So many new and ignorant people enter the fandom to incite problems, so it's better to block and move on.

Frankly, it wouldn't be that much of an assumption to assume that they are annoyed with. I mean, it's been 10 years of nonsense. How many times has Jungkook had to change his phone number? How many times has Taehyung straight up said that he doesn't like the "fans" screaming in their faces at the airport? How many lives have we seen people asking Jungkook invasive questions? This man avoided the internet for a long time, and when he decides to give us multiple lives, some people act like self entitled brats and think they deserve an all-access pass into his life. The infantilization of jungkook alone probably upset him more than we know. I mean, one of their last fan signs had JK receiving baby-related things. He was in his early 20s for crying out loud. Talk about insulting.

Sorry for my novel, but I simply recommend cutting out the stressful things and focusing on maintaining your love for BTS and the fandom in a capacity that is healthy for you even if that means removing certain aspects.

#sorry this is so long but tldr decide what your comfortable with and cut out everything else #for me it's tumblr army and tumblr army only #i am blessedly out of the loop and i like it that way #i only use twitter bc i get notifs from their main channel and bts merchandise notification #i made the mistake of going through reddit army and never again #people are just as annoying and rude on reddit as they are on twitter #asks

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summertimeskinney · 1 year

Text

lol just ranting

anyone else at the point where they are just maintaining even tho they arent even close to their ugw? bc im 130 rn and maintaining it but my ugw is at least 74/75 but im just at the point where im not always completely disgusted by my body because im looking at it more subjectively and i dont think i would look good skin and bone.. honestly i dont even know why im doing this anymore. Like i dont even remember why i started doing this in the first place. my hw was like 150-160 and the only reason i became aware of my weight was because authority figures in my life were pointing it out (according to my bmi i was only slightly overweight) I started losing weight rapidly in freshman year because i discovered proana and found a community of people who were in the same situation. and i was praised.. by everyone? i was starving, then i was binge/purging. how did i even end up like this? i mean ive never really had the best relationship with food but i was only overeating a bit. now i eat until i feel so sick that i puke or am in physical pain. i can make myself throw up on demand now? ive gone literal days without eating anything. like nothing at all besides diet soda, sugar free monster, and water. im at the point where my brain is in a constant battle between the decision to binge or starve. i'll just be minding my business than my brain will be like "if you were 80lbs it wouldn't be this way" or "you're so fat, it wouldn't even be hard to be 100lbs or less. like. what are you doing? why are you so heavy and gross?" it won't stop. and instead of starving like i used to i just binge, like all day. and i dont purge either.. i don't even know whats going on anymore. im not depressed like i used to be, but i can't get the thoughts out of my head. i guess you really are in it forever? i never really believed all the warning posts about how bad eds are and how you can never go back, or maybe i just ignored them. i cant even fathom what i really look like. i have body dysmorphia in all the ways. not only do i think that despite being 5' tall and 130 lbs i would fit into anything bigger than a small. i feel gross, but ik that when i go to the doctor she's going to say that i need to lose more weight because im 2 lbs from being in a normal bmi rage. despite my titties literally weighing almost 10lbs. but then i already have troubles fitting into clothes, most places don't carry more than a small or xs in person and almost never go over a small online. i am already an xs - small as an "overweight" person. I cant imagine how hard it would be to find clothes that actually fit me at 75 lbs soaking wet. i saw a video by jesse page today talking about how she always thought that to be a princess she had to be as delicate as possible and never take up space, but then how after gaining weight she fit her princess dresses better and relearned how to feel beautiful. i want to be a delicate little doll that you could toss around and never took up a whole seat. a pretty little doll that you had to be extra careful with because you didn't want me to break. ik its not good to feel this way but i can't change the temptation to forever be empty, live off candy and diet coke, and never eat real food again. to be more of an object than a human being. but then the logical side of my brain pipes in and is like hi, i dont care what i weigh but i want to have a strong healthy body with some good biceps. i dont know how to help myself or be normal.

anyways

im fasting n laxing tmrw bc i need a cleanse. lol bye

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writingmysanity · 1 year

Text

I posted 11,273 times in 2022

That's 10,838 more posts than 2021!

307 posts created (3%)

10,966 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@enragedtiefling

@seidenbros

@rainbowpitofdoom

@greyduckgreygoose

@penandinkprincess

I tagged 2,118 of my posts in 2022

#recipes - 166 posts

#food - 165 posts

#eskel - 113 posts

#the witcher - 110 posts

#writing prompts - 106 posts

#jaskier - 93 posts

#prompt list - 81 posts

#basil eidenbenz - 77 posts

#eskel x reader - 76 posts

#ru answers - 55 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#why cant people just do whats needed to protect children?? without having to make it illegal to treat them badly for who and how they are??

My Top Posts in 2022:

Laundry Day

Pairing: Viktor x Reader

Word count: 1863

Requested: NO, purely self-indulgent

A/N: Of course, as always, not beta'd- we die on this hill. Also, I have been mega in my feels. Satan's waterfall has visited, I detest this time, so I am making do with writing fluff and domestic goo. Please enjoy.

“Leave him be, my boy,” a voice comes with slightly too much joy in your taste, as you're sure of the subject of the conversation- Viktor. He hasn't been home in 4 days, and you're sure he hasn't gotten more than 10 hours of sleep in total during the entirety of his absence. Huffing, you're about to barge in, long sleeve shirt rolled up to your elbows already in preparation when you pause at the second voice. Jayce.

“Professor, with all due respect, Viktor hasn't slept in what I can almost assure you is days,” he sounds stressed but is hiding it well. “I can't let him continue work on something that could harm him,” and at that, you step in, making your presence known.

“I concur,” you hum, obvious irritation on your face, looking down at the furry menace you've come to question in Viktor’s life. Thus far, he has done well for your caffeine addicted work-a-holic, but as of now, he is being nothing short of an enabler.

“But he is close to a breakthrough,” he stresses, eyes narrowing at you. Cocking an eyebrow down at him, you snort.

“Or a breakdown,” you grouch. “He hasn't been home in four days-”

“We have made sleeping arrangements at the lab for him,” he cuts you off, which irritates you further. Jayce, catching wind, steps back slowly, knowing that look in your eyes, sending a pointed look at his mentor screaming If you value your life, shut UP.

But he misses it. Or ignore it.

Nodding slightly, you offer a small smile, hiding the heat prickling along your skin.

“Has he used it?” Heimerdinger pauses, shrugging.

“Im sure-”

“He hasn't even considered it,” you finish for him, watching the yodle walk away, his poro skittering off behind him. As soon as the door shuts, Jayce sighs, shoulders sagging.

“Thanks,” he offers you a tired smile, bags under his eyes bruising, the redness lining his eyes making you frown.

“When was the last time you slept, Talis?” he chuckles, shrugging.

“More recently than Viktor,” he raises his hands in defense. “And the moment you get him out of here, I'm out, too.” you grin a bit.

“You have much faith in me,” you muse, glancing across the lab, the open layout letting your eyes settle on his darkened figure hunched over whatever he is working on. He just nods.

“Well earned, let me tell you. I've never seen someone able to convince him out of the lab before,” he hums, a smile stretching to a grin. “You've got the magic touch.” laughing, you start over to Viktor.

“I'll leave the magic working to you two,” you throw over your shoulder as you come to lean over Viktor's, watching silently as he works for a moment. He doesn't even know you are here yet, despite not even attempting to hide your presence. After a few more moments, you decide to announce yourself.

“Viktor,” you purr, your voice carrying in a sing-song tone not more than a few inches from his face. You take pleasure in how he shudders as he drags his eyes from his work, a tired but pleased smile softening his sharp features.

“Ah, My dove,” he hums, head tilting to gently knock his head to yours affectionately. “What brings you here?” slowly, he sets the prototype down but doesn't turn to face you. Smiling softly, pressing a kiss to his hair right above his ear.

“It's laundry day,” you hum. He frowns, shaking his head.

“That is on Thursdays,” he grumbles, looking out of the skylight windows, eyes narrowing at the light streaming through. Laughing softly, you nod.

“It's friday,” you supply gently. He freezes, guilt passing in his eyes quickly before he sighs.

“You’re late,” he teases, making you laugh softly, tugging on his sleeve.

“I figured I'd give you some time,” you say softly, straightening. “But, i would greatly appreciate you to come home.'' In truth, he doesn't really help much other than helping sort the clothes, but you use it as an excuse to allow him to rest. Normally, if not presented with a problem or project, and given more than a few moments of time to sit comfortably, he passes out.

Sighing again, he nods slightly, looking at his partner who is pretending to work on something, totally not watching the two of you.

See the full post

318 notes - Posted September 18, 2022

Drunken Inhibitions

Prompt: "I remember kissing you, why do I remember kissing you?"

Word count: 2900

Pairing: Eskel x reader

TW: drinking, intoxication, drunken inhibitions

A/N: As always, Unbeta'd. Any and all mistakes are my own. Anyone willing to take on my mistakes??! Goiiiiing once... Goiiiiing twice....

i really need to stop writing at like 2-4 am. I hope this came out okay. it is 530 am and I am too tired to really proof read this very much. @deans-ch-ch-cherrypie well my dear, really hope this is okay <3

“Are you joining us tonight?” Lambert’s voice booms from behind you as his hand comes clapping down on your shoulder. It weighs you down, but the grip is gentle- for Lambert, anyway. Snorting a laugh, you glance back at him, amusement dancing in your eyes.

“For what?” he all but pouts, acting as your troublemaking younger brother for a few months a year for the last 5 years. You had been just as shocked as anyone when he took a liking to you. You had even been warned.

“Drinking! Of course,” he chuckles, bumping his shoulder into yours good-naturedly. You just grin, bumping him back.

“I don't know, I don't think my stomach can handle that piss you call ale after the meal you subjected me to tonight,” you groan playfully, arms wrapping around your stomach, playing up a pretend stomach ache. He gaps at you, playfully horrified as Coen and Geralt laugh behind you both at the grand table. His hand falls over his heart, trying his best to act offended when Coen calls out to you.

“Worry not, fair maiden!” he teases, lifting a jug. “We have raided the red-headed beast's stash for the evening” at that, Lambert spins around.

“Hey!” Geralt snorts.

“Payment for your stinking cooking, Lambchop,” he grumbles, patting his stomach. “She wasn't kidding when she spoke of your cooking.” huffing at the teasing all around, lambert stalks back to his spot, snatching the jug from his brother’s hand.

“Yeah, well if you have so much a problem with it, why don't you cook from now on?”

“I hate cooking, but after that meal? I intend to.” Coen chides, taking a swig from the bottle before Lambert snatches it again. Laughing softly to yourself, you look up as you feel a presence beside you. Eskel was finishing up helping tidy the kitchen, drying the last of the water on his pants, a soft smile tugging at his scarred lips as he joins you.

“You staying down for a while tonight?” he asks gently, you shrug.

“I suppose. The liquor is on Lambert tonight,” you grin, winking. He just laughs.

“By the end of the night, that may be literal,” he hums, walking with you to the table as Geralt slides you a tankard, lifting his slightly. Taking a sniff, your nose scrunches a bit.

“It'll put some hair on your chest,” Lambert nods, smiling. You snort looking down at your chest.

“I needn't any of that, Lambchop. Does me no good, I'm afraid.” you wink taking the first drink with relatively no face. The next drink was even easier.

Two tankards in, and you were starting to feel it.

Laughter echoed off the stone walls, flickering light coming only from the hearth, as the candles had long ago burnt out. Sickly shadows paint the walls like tapestries, moving with practiced ease as the men regale their war stories- exaggerated, of course.

“And here I thought Jaskier was the wordsmith,” you tease lambert after he repeats the same sentence for the third time in a row, your words starting to slur slightly.

4 tankards in.

“Feeling it, witch?” Lambert chides, his boisterous laughter bouncing harshly, echoing much longer than you would have liked, wincing a bit.

“Indeed, and yet I make more sense than you.” you tease back, taking another drink, swaying in your seat. The boys' chuckle, Geralt slapping a hand onto lambert’s shoulder.

“She isn't wrong.”

“Is she ever?” Coen hums, sending an over-exaggerated wink your way. You snort a laugh, shaking your head, the motion making the world around you spin.

“I have had enough,” you sing, making Lambert and Coen whine. They loved it when you were around to drink with them. It's always more fun to spin a story, no matter how drink induced, with neutral ears around. They've all heard each other's tales many times. Giggling, you wave them off, tilting your tankard back to get the last of the drink.

See the full post

372 notes - Posted March 20, 2022

On the line

Pairing: Viktor x reader

Word count: 492

A/N: I am a bit emotional tonight- so... I am writing for the broken man I've found myself falling for. Who needs therapy? lol

Summary: Viktor says those 3 words for the first time.. You're sure you don't hear him right.

Silence- when did silence get so loud? It is almost distracting, the way blood pumps in your veins, heavy rushing to your ears, thrumming. Not a breath is lost, silent inhales but neither of you dare to exhale in fear of waking up- is this a dream?. Around you, gears turn, ticking into the extended silence, both of you nearly leaping out of your skin when one machine hisses, blowing off some steam.

Swallowing slowly, you close your eyes to gather your nerve, before looking up at him again, taking a tentative step towards him. Viktor trembles, his clutch on his cane so tight that his knuckles are white, the material groaning under his fingers… but he doesn't move away, his eyes trained painfully on you as he swallows.

“What?” Your voice is small, full of awe, eyes wide and glassy, tears dancing in the low light of the lab. Finally looking down, he takes a deep breath, the smile that graces his features nervous and unsure. Your reaction isn't exactly telling.

“I… I love you,” he breathes again- the words softer now, but they seem to hammer at your heart, clenching painfully at your lungs opening your mouth to speak, but he continues, pushing on as he takes a step towards you tentatively, the gentle click of his cane swallowed by silence between you.

“I am a selfish lover,” he admits, eyes bright, shining but his lip trembles. “I can never seem to make a date, or make ample time to see you… but please… please.” you nearly cry when his voice cracks as he takes your hand, placing it over his heart, looking down at you with more affection- adoration- then you've ever thought possible. “Know that my heart, broken and battered as it is… it is all for you. Every word, everything I do… you are the stubborn pumping of this aching heart.” you breath catches as you reach for him, both of his hands moving to meet yours, his hip resting on his desk for support, gathering you in his arms with a shuddering breath. You can't help but laugh, leaning your head back, your hand moving to cup his cheek. He all but melts at your touch, immediately leaning into you, eyes closing.

“Oh, Viktor,” you beam up at him, tears in your eyes as you lean forward, pressing a kiss to his chest- just over his heart. “I love you too.” All tension leaves his body as he all but slumps into your arms, a breathy laugh pressed against your shoulder, as he hugs you closer. Burying his face in your neck, he whispers against your skin in his mother tongue.

Your cheeks hurt from your smile as you tentatively kiss the mole above his lip, watching in amusement as he shudders. Turning his head, he catches your lips with a fierceness that steals your breath, leaning into him for support.

Janna, you love this man.

___

Taglist:

@grumpyoutlaw @thehistoriangirl @rainbowpitofdoom @queenxxxsupreme @wizarrdofooze @uniquedeerwitch @ace-of-zaun

380 notes - Posted August 24, 2022

Kaz and Jesper's relationship in a snapshot.

Kaz is thiiiiiisssssss close to whacking his best friend. 🤏 this close.

797 notes - Posted August 30, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Rest

Inspired by this lovely fan art!! Please, go and show them some love!! their art is incredible.

Pairing: Viktor x reader

Word count: 1076

A/N: special thanks to this wonderful artist once more for letting me use their image!! Please, go see their work, linked above!! They deserve all the love. As per usual, unbeta'd. We die on this hill. <3

----

A sharp cry echoes throughout the apartment, the sound nearly swallowing the distant click that had just come to rest outside your door. Groaning softly, you shift to slide out of bed, met gently with fingers curling around your arm when you stumble into a chest, barely more stable than your own. Grunting, you look up, eyes meeting golden ones circled by exhaustion.

“Sleep, Dove,” he insists, gently pressing you back towards the bed. “I've got her.” flopping back onto the bed unceremoniously, you huff, eyes sliding shut simply at the comfort of your blankets surrounding you. Fighting the urge to dose back off, you frown.

“You’re exhausted, Viktor,” you grumble, eyes barely peeking open to gaze lovingly up at him. Chuckling, he rubs circles on the meat of your thigh before sliding down to your knee, giving it a pat.

“As are you,” he hums, glancing at the door tiredly as the cries start again. “But of the two of us, you have her more. Allow me this time,” his voice is soft, tired but laced with a tenderness that makes your heart ache. “I miss her,” you just nod before curling back into bed, sighing happily at being able to get some more sleep.

He is out of the door before sleep pulls you back under its warmth, a gentle coo echoing between cries, the sound bringing a smile to your face as you lose your fight against sleep.

There isn't a peep for the rest of the night, sunlight filtering through the window waking you shortly before the silence rests over you. For a moment, it is blissful, silence and warmth enveloping you until worry crashes over you. Viktor had not come to bed last night, you realize as you look at his side of the bed, still neatly tucked, undisturbed.

Frowning, you toss the blankets to the side, sliding out of bed. Shivering a bit at the early morning chill lingering on the hardwood floors, you don't bother with your slippers as you would normally as you pad to the living room.

Nothing.

Nothing is out of place, everything folded neatly so the way you had fixed it before you went to bed the night before. Humming in confusion, you tilt your head towards the kitchen, listening for Viktor making a pot of coffee. The man may be busy, but since the pregnancy, he has not once left without making sure you've eaten, and to kiss you goodbye- yet he is nowhere to be found. You half expected to find him on the couch, arm thrown over his eyes as you normally do when he is too tired, or hurting too badly to make it to the room.

The bar overlooking the kitchen is clear of his work, as is the kitchen table- everything just as clean as you had left it. To most, it wouldn't be perfectly clean, there are dishes in the sink, perhaps a smidge of neglected food left to crust on Aryn's high chair, a few of her smaller toys left to be tossed to the side in your haste. But it is devoid of evidence of Viktor bringing work home with him.

Sighing, you slide towards Aryn’s room. It wouldn't be the first time he left without wanting to wake you- but you had hoped that it would have lasted a bit longer of him staying in the mornings. He's spoiled you with it, you muse, a smile crossing your features despite the sting. Just outside the room, you can already hear her sweet coos, soft babble talk from her crib.

Whatever he did to get her to sleep through the night, you would love to know. You haven't slept that well since she was born.

Laughing softly at the sheer excitement in her tone, you slide in. Nothing is out of place in the room, though you know there were at least a few things out of place. He must have cleaned them up for you.

“Good morning, beautiful,” you coo back to the smiling face that pops up over the edge of the cradle, her father’s golden eyes meeting yours as a delighted laugh escapes her, but she doesn't lift herself to meet you like she normally does. You don't think much of it until you get closer. “What are you clinging to, my love?” she tugs up, brown tufts sticking out from her tiny fist- followed by a gentle grunt. Peering over the edge of the bed, you cover your mouth to keep from your laugh, melting at the image of your husband curled up in the baby's crib. A blue blanket settled around his middle, he has his arm wrapped around her body, effectively keeping her from wandering- much to her own delight. His head is resting on his other arm, another grunt escaping his lips when Aryn tugs again, a soft sigh leaving his lips.

“Little one,” he grumbles sleepily. “Please not so hard.” he has yet to notice you, not even actually awake at the moment. Clicking your tongue at her, you lean forward, gently prying her little fingers open to give Viktor a reprieve.

“Is that any way to treat papa?” you sooth her hiccuped exclamation, lip jutting at the disjustice of being unable to abuse her father’s head. Viktor hums appreciatively, one eye creaking open to look up at you, a sleepy smile crossing his features.

“Good morning, my love,” he hums, his voice thick with sleep, making his accent thicker. Reaching down, you slide your fingers into his hair, soothing his scalp where she had been pulling, earning a sigh. Tentatively, he shifts his arm from around Aryn, fingers wrapping around your wrist gently as he turns his head to brush his lips over your wrist, making you shiver.

“Good morning,” you offer back, amusement and pure adoration melting you into the side of the crib, balancing on your toes to see him better. “I thought we agreed she sleeps alone.” you grin at his pout, bottom jutting out much like his daughters.

“No,” he huffs. “We agreed that she would sleep in her own bed.” snorting a laugh, you shake your head.

“That would normally mean you sleep in your own bed, as well, my love,” his nose twitches a bit, scrunching up his face before it is broken by your favorite crooked smile.

“I made no such agreement to that.”

----

Arcane taglist:

@grumpyoutlaw @thehistoriangirl @rainbowpitofdoom @wizarrdofooze @uniquedeerwitch @ace-of-zaun @aerynwrites @queenxxxsupreme @beeblybub @ears-queers-gears-n-fears

See the full post

931 notes - Posted September 20, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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lemonstars8583 · 2 years

Note

The Timothy idea was based on how almost nobody checks the drawers after the Seek chase and I wonder if Timothy can spawn there and how it gets ignored constantly.

I really hope that you never encounter The Eyes-Screech combo, I had and it WAS TGE WORST I NEARLY DIED TO THIS BULL. Halt-Screech would be fun as a concept but I am also scared (shaking hands)

---

Seek and Rush, divorced over plates dgdhdhdhhffh. Seek immediately pulled out divorce papers the second Rush walked into the room because it knows Rush purposely put them up there for its inconvenience.

These two are extremely hilarious together. In the relationship, they are so stupid. Rush's brilliant (not) mega brain chucks out the dumbest idea and Seek is like, "hell yeah lets do it." This is how everyone learned Seek is fireproof after they fell into the fireplace. Constantly would set up pranks for the player by setting up traps for adding fake keys.

Now that they're divorced, they (Seek) is so fucking petty against each other. They're pretty civil but Rush can't help it but bother their ex-spouse and Seek would purposely trip Rush over even if the player gets to live.

Constant soap opera worthy fights over the dumbest things, played up for dramatics since Seek can't resist pulling out the acting and Rush eggs him on with more taunts.

It looks like they're fighting, they are fighting, but in the end it's just a fun show and there's no hard feelings after. Except the collateral damage of things when they were busy fistfighting each other.

The Glitch as a non-canon entity is cool as a character concept. As you said, the game broke so that part of the code manifest to get anyone out as it resolves the problem.

Canonizing it would be dope but it's meant to exist outside of the game.

---

Anyway I should talk about Figure and Halt because they look cool as hell. Their designs are amazing, the roblox models are great with the limitations of designs.

Halt's blue being the same as Light's making Light' advice hard to understand since players would think that it's Halt talking to them when it's Light trying to get their asses out. For a moment too long, I thought Halt was a big cat-ghost thing since I only saw their north star looking eyes an went "yep thats a cat."

And when i actually dodged Halt's teleportation and saw how they actually looks, its just a moving disco head.

The way the light moves is reminiscent of a big ol' lighthouse at night and with the human looking head, hmmm...

Im not doing figure this ask as I am brain empty.

-----

My my, Screech was so annoying that your brain automatically nerfed them and you proceed to bring them around like a wet kitten being carried by the neck lol

-door not-anon

YES YES first of all RIP IM SO SORRY YOU HAD TO ENCOUNTER THAT AHAHA but like yesss i see seek as like. fairly level-headed, professional, chill, UNTIL something GREATLY frustrates it and it just blows a fuse, hence the very loud banging after you complete the chases. it is MAD. rush is like. constantly energetic and usually positive but also has a hell of a temper so its like. they both understand each others situation and relate to one another but. when they get mad at each other? good lord. hide the furniture or its gonna go flying HAHA, there's no real hard feelings harbored afterward but they just both need to Get The Rage Out. sometimes it even devolves into them just having fun and throwing things. seek doesn't like to show that side of itself to many (Hide is also an exception because its very grumpy too so they have Sibling Grumpy Time™ but rush's dumbass energy is like a planet's freakin orbit it just sucks everyone in.

also YES figure and halt are so cool i love them.. i like to imagine figure and eyes are friends because. well. figure's the only one who really cant look at eyes so there's hardly any uncomfortable incidents.

ON THE TOPIC OF FRIEND GROUPS!!

hide, halt, and eyes have their own little antisocial friend group. halt doesn't like having to stare at the wall the entire time they meet up to not upset eyes but it understands. they all want people to stay away from them and not violate their boundaries, Hide not liking people in the wardrobes too long, Halt wanting privacy in its separate domain, and Eyes hating to be looked at. They all get along well.

Rush, Ambush, and Seek all make up the Chasers Club (despite the fact i headcanon rush isnt actually going after the players at all, it just wants to run but if they don't hide in time it's just like "welp if theyre in the way what am i gonna do about it" but shhh) where they all hang out and talk about successes and failures in chasing down players. They tried to invite Halt but it declined. which resulted in Rush breaking into its home and forcibly bringing it. which wasn't fun for anyone (though maybe a little funny)

uhhh random jack fact uhhh he likes to practice magic tricks but is bad at it

ummmmmm that's all i have to say i love this little headcanon exchange tho its so fun sorry for the late reply this time my brain deflated

#lemon yells #doors roblox

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stupendouspandbear · 1 year

Text

Why do I feel like shit, right now?????

I didn't do anything wrong, did I?

If I did, they won't tell me, so what choice do I have?

We should all be pulling our weight, why they are the only one that cannot do this, why is it my problem that they have problems. They won't even talk to me, I do not have unlimited energy too, if theirs is depleted, why do they keep making messes and expect me to clean up after?

In the end of the day I try not to be selfish, but I have stuff to do too, they spend even more time at home than I do, why can't they pick up their slack? this is so exhausting I wish I didnt had to deal with this.

Should I just keep in this cycle of asking them for the bare minimum to be ignored?

that's the shitiest thing, they will just ignore me, I'm not asking a lot, we clean more than them, why is that whem we ask for the basic, the most basic of asks it's like I insulted their whole being?

I'm young too, I want to be taken care too, I want people to notice that I have needs too, and ake decisions based on that fact. Why am I always the one that has to give? Why cant I be the one who needs, I dont want be the bigger person, I do not want to cater to others needs when I know that they will try their best to take advantage of me.

I want to be selfish too.

I want to not care that I'm being selfish too.

I dont even believe that that's the human naturem I believe we are beutiful, capable of so much, so much understanding and companionship.

So why am I always the one that needs to be the pillar,

the one that holds, this glue cannnot hold what isnt stable

I cannot hold what it cannot sustain itself,

so why realizing that hurts so much

It's in my name in my blood

I'm the bridge that connects,

but what if my purpose is just to be walked on?

theyll never notice how much it husrts to be walked on,

even if i want it to, to be helpful the best way I can

even if its my purpose is to carry is to love

because love is my purpose

I don't want that purpose turned on to me

you hurt me when you take my kindness for granted, my stability

as a place to lean in and stay, I want to be held too.

I want my needs to be acknoledged and even if not realized (the dream) at least respected

I think too much and that's the problem, I think too much but I try not to think of myself, because I am not just me I am everything, so If I think of eberything, maybe I can get to what is me.

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storiesofmebyme · 1 year

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08/06/22

I’ve always wondered if you will wake up and know this is the day i'm going to die. The answer is no. If you care enough to listen there are definitely signs but you'll never see them through the tunnel vision of temptation. Not until you wake up and have no choice but to face it. The raw, ugly, bitter truth my addictions just won.

I remember it so vividly for someone who was unconscious (dead) for a majority of the experience. He hit it first, seemed so high but fine, right? I pondered the consequences of fentanyl and what I was doing. Too bad the high is right in my hands and I could never say no. Thanks to my bestie, temptation. I cared about what was going to happen to me but not more than I cared about feeling sweet bliss. So I hit it again. Black.

First, I felt the mask on my face, helping me breathe. I’m barely conscious, not awake enough to open my eyes, or speak, or fight. Just enough to know exactly what was happening. Back to black.

Then it happened, my eyes opened. Surrounded by dozens of paramedics and police. Faces everywhere. My heart sunk, hard. I can't describe the absolute shame that flowed through my body. The first words said, “Megan, you just died.” Talk about heart sinking. I just died? What The Fuck. I’m not sure what i thought overdosing meant but god damn that hit. So there I was, laying on a nasty concrete basement floor covered in sweat and shame. Rock bottom is a mother fucker i can tell you that.

The paramedics said “you just overdosed and died” several times before I had anything to say. Finally, I apologized enough times in 60 seconds to set a record. I asked for my phone to call my mom before i could even get the words out a male police officer says “you’re phone is in evidence.” It was like he was just waiting for me to ask so he could inform me of my first punishment. Finally, they ask if i want to go to the hospital and if i can get up. I asked if i should go, while this answer seems obvious, remember im still disoriented. The paramedics wasted no time making me feel less than “i mean you just died so yeah i would go” Well jesus fuckin christ lets get in the ambulance and go then. So, I leaned forward to get up, all i can say is fuck owowowowowow. My chest feels like a stampede just ran across me. All they had to say is “Is it just your chest that hurts? Thats because we just did cpr to save your life.”

I get that thank you so much, a warning would have been nice regardless. So here i am again surrounded by medics and police officers watching me wince in pain struggling to get up. Finally an absolute angel of a lady reaches out her hand. A hand i really fucking needed. I held her hand the whole way up the stairs. I was scared and so alone. With no way to contact anyone I love.

We got to the top of the stairs and I was completely winded so I stopped and said “I need help.” Something I genuinely never ask for because I know better. A plea that had gone ignored for far too long.. What do you know some stupid fucking male paramedic says “were gonna get you some help.” HA what a fucking epitome of my life. So I picked myself up and carried myself out just like always.

Now we're walking out of the house Grant says “I’m so sorry megan”

I didn't say a word. I just walked down the driveway looking at the ground while neighbors watched. Finally, I climbed into the ambulance. At Least I’m not surrounded by people anymore. Then the paramedic unknowingly in the ambulance asked two of the most awful questions he could come up with. The first “how old are you”

“23”

“arent you a little young to be doing this”

Listen bud, i appreciate it but no it was “too young” when i was 14 addicted to adderall and smoking dope by 15. Then he also had the nerve to ask “did you know other girls have died at this same house” yes. Yes i fucking did] they were my friends. I cant understand why i got a chance that they didnt. Why me? Why.

We get to the hospital and they're rolling me to my room and all i can think is this isnt real. There's no way I am getting wheeled on a bed to a hospital room. Damn i really fucked up this time, bad. We get to the room and they have me switch beds. My chest is on fire btw, some of the worst pain I have ever been through. Lets just say for health care professionals they were less than patient and empathetic. More like judgmental and degrading. The paramedic started telling the nurse what had brought me to the hospital. When the paramedic explained the severity of what had happened. I hear him say “ No she was in cardiac arrest for two minutes. She was did not have a pulse when we arrived.” This BITCH the nurse goes “oh Woooow.” Are you fucking serious? I’m in the

middle of understanding and accepting what has happened - alone- and this bitch says woooow?? Hell no find a new profession this one is not for you.

Unfortunately for me that was my nurse for the visit. Fml the punishment really fuckin showed up from the moment i woke up. So the nurse comes back and puts all these stickers all over me to check my heart. They were all over my chest and back. Knowing how many unwanted people had touched me that day made me sick. To the core. The person who gave me cpr was a man.. A man touched my lifeless body. Gross gross gross.

The rest of my hospital visit was really a blur. I woke up and asked for a blanket and the same bitch nurse says “but you’re sweating.” Alright bitch you really need a new job you’re a nurse thats never heard of cold sweats??? Come on now. Everytime i woke up i would ask to call someone literally anyone. I was so done being alone at this point. I needed to tell my family. I needed to tell everyone i loved so i could start feeling better asap. This wasnt a guilt a was willing to live with and I was ready to face it immediately. I knew i would disappoint so many people with my news but I knew they needed to hear it from me.

After many hours in the hospital I’m able to finally call my mom. At the time this is all I truly wanted. I knew my mom was going to make me feel safe. Of course she immediately burst into tears. Little did I know she was on her way back from Chicago and still hours away. So next best option is my grandma.. Oh god my grandma.

I’ll be honest my grandmother is not a quick person never has been a day in her life. She showed up to that hospital, fast. A blessing and a curse. She brought me comfort but it was immediately gone when she started asking for every detail. With every “She overdosed” “She died” and “She's very lucky” i felt my heart go deeper into my stomach. As I realized this is the beginning of alot of disappointment... How did I let myself get here?

Once my grandma was there I was nice and awake. Feeling every emotion deeply, painfully. Then a nurse half mentioned discharge and every emotion turned to anger and annoyance. I was ready to go. Clearly I was ok at this point I wanted my dogs and my bed. Mostly my dogs - my only real safe space. So they

unhooked me from the IV and went to get the discharge papers. I stood off angrily ripped all those little fucking stickers off of me and left.

The ride to my house was surreal. I called everyone immediately important to me and let the rest wait. My dogs were safe, my work dogs were safe and so far no one absolutely hated me. To me that meant i could finally start making peace with what i had done.

I got home and went to bed. And thats all i did for days. I just slept.

T B Continue..

#addiction #recovery #sobriety #writing #memories #overdoz #love and other drugs #tw abuse #tw addiction #reading #long reads

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crazylil-lion · 2 years

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I reblog all these cute things I dream of but really I've never even had my hand held and im a month from 24. I'm so fucking pathetic I can't live without the 1 thing ive never had. Why cant I just accept love isn't for me. Theres a reason no one wants me theres a reason no one gives me a chance. Im not cute or interesting I'm just a fucking mess people look at my pictures and ignore me. Or tell me how I need to be skinnier before they would or anyone else would date me. I'm so tired and I pretend things are okay but really I'm burning alive in nothing but agony and eventually I will break. Eventually I'll leave this all behind and no one really cares even though I'm so open about it. I don't have that person I can turn to I don't have loved ones I can lean on. I'm just alone with so much weight and pain dropped on me i say it here because I know everyone will ignore it but suicide is my final chance at being free from the unending pain. And I know no one cares I know I'm just pointlessly venting but at least I can say I tried. That I fought death up until I just couldn't handle it anymore I'm just scared because I know how much closer I am. If I were to talk about it people wouldn't know what to say. How do I say I'm already past planning how I would die and already on the last step finding a way to say goodbye to the people Ill disappoint with my death. Finding a way to word how its not anyone's fault how they couldn't have done more. How do I tell them Im sorry for being such a useless fucked up person so selfish all I've wanted since I was like 12 was to slice my throat open and escape from this world and maybe have peace. No matter how it gets written i know it will hurt but I can't survive too much longer. And all I can do is prey ive set them up with what they need to move on and be happy. Maybe Im just a shitty person for not being strong enough to continue holding the burden of carrying all this agony.

#mine

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corruptedconfessions · 3 years

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last weekend I caved and read everything you ever uploaded here once more agskshkdd this is who i am as a person. but im love your writing so much!!! i have an especially soft spot for the naga stories, are those the ones that are about half-snake people? i always mess up the names but how do you think bakugou (and or kiri) would be as a yandere one, when he falls for the reader? i can't remember you ever writing a snake-version of him and idk if you'd be up for it but i'm super curious! xoxoxo

Aww!! Thank you so much :)

And yes! Naga’s are the snake people, semi human from the torso up and giant ass snakes from the hips down!

Bakugou:

If there is one word to describe yandere Naga Bakugou its possessive. It takes a lot for him to chose a mate, he is incredibly picky, picking his mate much past the typical age but once he picks?? Possessive protective to the extreme. You are his mate to do with what he pleases, and absolutely no one is going to take you away from him. Hell, he gets pissy the second another creature, intelligent or not even looks at you. You won’t be leaving his nest any time soon after he snatches you up, even trying to peek over the edges of the flattened down bowl in the ground leads to you being dragged right back to the middle and getting angrily chewed out and huffed at as you get tucked right back into the nest.

I think he’d most likely fall for a darling who hikes or walks frequently in his forest for whatever reason. A hunter, camper, or just any kind of nature enthusiast will quickly catch his eye. You’re so small…and your body is so different than his and yet you constantly come back here, carelessly leaving your scent everywhere, as if inviting him to have a taste. He isn’t one to turn down the offer. He doesn’t have any form of patience, somewhere during a mid afternoon doze and lunch he’ll come to the conclusion that he wants you, all while still ripping the meaty remains of his prey off the bone. Right then and there he decides to have you, still picking meat from his teeth with the jagged edge of a bone. The next time he sees you you’ll be snatched up into his arms and dragged back to his nest, kicking and screaming left ignored as he unceremoniously dumps you in his nest and refuses to let you leave.

I picture him most likely picking a human mate tbh, He enjoys being bigger and stronger than his mate, justifying the overbearing desire to hide away and protect what's his, something other Nagas wouldn’t tolerate. Even if you don’t tolerate it it doesn’t really matter, he is bigger and stronger than you, and can easily just pick you right up and carry you back to where he wants you to be. Biting, kicking, punching, anything just bounces off his hard scales. Honestly fighting like that is more likely to turn him on than anything else~ If you have this much energy you clearly can put it towards incubating some of his eggs right? Hopefully that fiery spirit will pass on to his eggs once they hatch~

He’ll also be curious, painfully so, eagerly twisting and pulling you in his hold like a doll, poking and prodding as he inspects you. Its not often he sees a human so close without eating them. He’s cruel in the sense that he likes to poke your squishy spots just to listen to your cute noises and watch you try and wiggle away from him. Its hardly ever malicious, though, the claws in your mouth, feeling up your teeth. Or large hands encompassing your entire calf as he feels up your leg is pure curiosity. He’ll look almost childish, eyes wide with wonder as he watches you twist and bend, so small and fragile yet so resilient.

He’ll hiss and throw up a fit if you call him out on this but he is also incredibly cuddly. Maybe it’s just because of that protective nature of his but he loves wrapping around you, snuggling his face into your stomach, tongue darting out to smell your skin. Or maybe it has something to do with the fact that you are a breathing furnace compared to the cooler blooded beast. He’s so soft in those moments, eagerly nuzzling you and lapping up any attention you’ll give him, even if he huffs and insists its for your protection and warmth if you say anything. Human skin is so thin and you are so needy for warmth! How did you ever survive without him curling around you to keep you warm and chase off the chill of the night air. You’d be wise to keep your mouth shut about the fact that he is actually sapping your heat with his cold skin. Best not take those rare tender moments for granted, yeah?

Kirishima on the other hand leans more on the protective side of things. He’s younger than Bakugou, more on the naïve side of things and much more at the whims of his instincts. I think he’d honestly mate with the first little thing he comes across, unable to hold back and be patient at all. He’s a bit of a romantic at heart, in a terrifying, he’ll eat and swallow whoever you’re with whole when he sees you way. He wants nothing more than a happy loving mate, round and heavy with his eggs waiting for him when he comes back to his nest. He wants to protect and provide and snuggle with his cute little mate!

He’s brutal, eating and killing anything that comes close to you, and then immediately turning around and crooning and loving on you, rubbing up against you like a dog, his face still coated with any remains of what, or rather who, he just ate. (Lucky for you he prefers to swallow his prey whole…watching him gag up and spit out the bones that he cant digest isn’t a pleasant sight though.) Endlessly doting and so…incredibly suffocating. There will always be a hand, or head, or tail, or something pressed, wrapped, or snuggling against you. Half the time you feel like a living teddy bear as he cuddles and nuzzles you non stop, curling up in his nest and holding you close to his chest, face buried in your hair. The only time he tears himself from your side is to go hunting, and even then when he comes back you are scooped up and squished in his arms until he calms down again, extremely distressed from being separated from you.

He is obsessed with being a good mate for you, protecting, providing, and spoiling his partner. He’ll be traditional, hunting down larger pray than necessary just to impress you. Happily puffing his chest out when he dumps a bunch of hay and leaves into the nest, telling you that he knows humans cant sleep on hard rock comfortably, and so this will be more comfy! (Not that it does much, with how close he insists on being when cuddling, you practically sleep on him instead. Trapped against his firm chest as arms wrap tightly around you). Now this isn’t common behavior for nagas, but he’ll also bring you pretty little trinkets that he finds, gems or geodes he finds in his cave, pretty jewelry he steals from humans, rocks that he really likes and wants to share with you. Reacting positively to these gifts, maybe even making a small little pile for them in the nest will put him over the moon. He becomes so gushy and loving towards you for it you can get away with nearly anything after that.

Unlike Bakugou’s nest which is out in the open, daring any threat to even try and come close to his mate, Kiri hides you away. His nest will be hidden away in a maze like cave (He carved it out himself by hand! Something he very proudly tells you when the two of you can finally converse without you screaming or him fucking you silly). He never leaves your side, determined to protect and love you, but even in the moments he does, escape is hopeless. Even after crawling up the sides of the deep pit carved out of solid rock (you really don’t want to think how strong his claws are to carve out solid stone and made such deep grooves in the sides) you’ll be left wondering and aimless maze, impossible to not get lost or even get near the exit before Kirishima is back, rushing your side and picking you up into his arms in a panic. Naturally, being the innocent thing he is he assumes you missed him and went searching for him instead of trying to escape, but now you’re trapped in an even tighter hold under an even tighter watch as he tries “to make it up to you”.

With Kirishima you have a small chance, though. If you are loving and gentle enough to him, and you ask him so sweetly if you can get out of the cave just for a little bit! Promise! He may take you to a nearby river to play in the water, or a hotspring to soak together. Once you really have him wrapped around your finger you might be able to convince him to go on daily walks (slithers?) with him, only if you look sad and pout up at him enough, insisting that the cave is too dark and scary and you miss the sun. He’ll feel so bad he just might sunbathe with you outside for awhile too.

#yandere #kirishima x reader #bakugou x reader #bakugo x reader #naga

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