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#but if you find yourself comparing your work one to one with someone else's and taking any differences to be flaws on your part then STOP
paymechildsupport · 6 hours
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Divine. // Heian Sukuna x M!Reader <3
smut brainrot :( -!! Overstim, - oral, - sex with a lot of feewings, - monsterfucking (he has 2 cocks), - tadbit body horror possibly --------------------------------------------------
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aghjakhg he's so.. :3
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Sukuna couldn't quite believe it: your hands, so soft, were gently running themselves over his chest.
"What are you...?" The words clogged in his throat, feeling you start to trace down.
You shifted in his lap, alone with him and solely him, -- under the dark awning of the night. No one would come to look for the two of you, not now, when it was so late out.
You could barely see the massive body in front of you, -- so you felt him. You ran your fingers over the expanse of his chest, his shoulders, his four arms, - mapping a general shape in your mind's eye. You couldn't see but you could see him, -- see him in a way no had before.
Air eluded itself from his lungs and he shuttered involuntarily. He had never been touched, been held like this, handled so tenderly. Fingers, miniscule compared to his massive figure, grazed over the markings etched onto his skin. You could faintly feel yourself touch over a scar, a raised, rough mark on his perfect body. It only made you sink deeper into him, his loose embrace of his arm around your waist. Your fingertips sketch the defined muscle, feeling every dip of skin and flesh, -- living proof of the decades of hard, grueling work engrained into his abdomen. His abs slightly flex when you run over them, you can feel the strong muscles ripple with each sharp intake of breath.
You reach the curve of his second mouth, running your thumb over the thin lip in his stomach.
"Careful..." he mutters. The last time someone had gotten so close to that area, it hadn't ended well for him. Sukuna could briefly picture his mangled skeleton, twisted and bent at all the wrong angles.
The Curse was in awe, how you effortlessly touched over his body, hardened by the decades of war and bloodshed it had borne witness to.
A noise involuntarily ripped itself from his lips, - the broken sound of a tiny, cornered animal. He had never in his life been touched in such a way, -- revered almost.
You reach back up, fingers dancing along his skin, tracing every line of those inky black markings. Sukuna realizes too late when you reach for his neck, pausing there, to rub the place where his pulse was. The blood rushed underneath your touch, rapid and humming and alive. It was such a vulnerable spot for him, but Sukuna stays frozen, rooted to his spot, so you don't stop. You travel up, all the way up to his face, where they lingered over his jaw. You press the pads of your fingers into the hard bones of his face, feeling along his jaw, his chin, and the jutting outline of his nose.
In his long lifetime most had shunned him: turning on him with huge swords and fearful expressions. But with you, he no longer was the ghastly monster, he just simply was.
"Beautiful...." You breathe
Sukuna's own breath faltered,
"You think I'm beautiful?" He sounded surprise, unsure, -- a kind of insecurity that should have terrified him, -- but it was with you, and he embraced this vulnerable state.
You smile softly, only Sukuna with his cursed vision could make the shape out in the dark,
"Very."
Sukuna wanted to lick the worship off your lips.
The lower arms on your abdomen tighten.
Silently, your fingers meet the rough start of his second face. You freeze, feeling the harsh change in texture from his smooth skin. Sukuna hesitates; would this be where it all came to an end? When you look at him with anything but deep adoration? Where the affectionate touches would be met with violent resistance, and you'd hate him, find him to be the grotesque and horrifying monster everyone else did?
Sukuna hated himself for feeling so hopeful.
But you simply start your exploration again, fingers travelling up and down the rough expanse of melded flesh.
"Fascinating.."
Sukuna was surprised; you found his second face fascinating.
He waited for the moment you'd change your mind, stop lying to yourself, start spitting crude insults and accusatory words, to swear, to hit, to resist him in some way.
But it never came.
You trace the rough folds of his face with a caress nothing short of adoring.
For the longest time, he had been denied this.
Sukuna's eyes were closed now. He couldn't comprehend the mixture of emotions he was feeling in this moment.
He was completely exposed, vulnerable... beautiful...
His second face... usually filled with terror... was receiving such tender care.
His thumbs trace to the hem of your top, gently pressing down into the soft skin, rubbing what he hoped were affectionate caresses. No one had ever made him feel such a way before, and he wished to show you the same affection, the same adoration, as you showered onto him. He had to admit he was quite inexperienced-- making contact with another living thing usually had some violent motive, but all Sukuna desired to do was wrap his arms around your tinier body -- shield you from the rest of the world. The idea of anyone else getting this kind of attention from you filled him with a strange bitterness unknown to him: jealousy.
He could feel every tiny detail of your movements, every inch of you getting slowly leaning in closer, every carefree intake of breath. He felt envious of the way the oxygen so effortlessly entered your lungs, how you inhale it without a second thought. It would be so easy for him to simply reach out and crush your windpipe, steal the air from your lungs the same way you did his.
In this moment, he saw and felt it all. Every inch of your body was beautiful to him.
"Mmm..." he whispered, relishing in the feeling of your presence so close to him.
Carefully, tentatively, you dip your head down, bringing your face closer, lips softly grazing his cheek.
Sukuna almost choked.
The feeling of your lips on his cheek sent chills through his body. He had always seen himself as the menacing and terrifying harbinger of suffering who had to be kept at a distance.
But now, he was seeing from your view... And from your perspective, he was beautiful.
His heart pounded against his chest as he felt your breath on his cheek.
Then you kiss him;
Every muscle, every tendon of his body seemed to tighten, and you were surprised they didn't just snap altogether.
All kinds of new, delicious sensations coursed through him,
Mwa :3
He had spent countless years of his life slaughtering people and taking control of everything he could... But here, he was weak again, like a newborn child.
He felt his breath grow short, labored, completely lost in the sensations of the kiss. All his fears and regrets, all the pain and misery accumulated from his years of cursed isolation, separated from the world around him, becoming the untouchable King of Curses, -- It all melted away. It was pure, unadulterated bliss.
He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close, pressing you against him. Having you so close, you seemed so delicate to him, yet you were exploring him without hesitation, without fear, the first person he had encountered in so many years who didn't think of him as a monster.
His muscles were completely tense, but he had no desire to stop. He was enjoying every second of it.
You were kissing him, and he felt your tongue peek out from your intertwined lips, slipping into his mouth and meeting his. You fit so nicely against him, his hands slotting perfectly onto your waist, hips fitting like two puzzle pieces. It was all so... soothing to him.
The way you were taking control was indescribable--your kisses making his heartbeat so fast he swore it would explode, his breath was fast and short. He didn't think he could keep these feelings in for long without combusting altogether.
You pull away, gasping for air (unlike Sukuna, who as a curse, if he could have his way, would have kissed you for hours, days even).
"Your touch is.... divine"
Sukuna could bathe in the way you gazed at him, the way your eyelids drooped, the way your bright irises shone up at him through your lashes. Many once eerie, cold maroon eyes met yours with enough loving reverence to shake Heaven Herself.
As the word left his lips, he was staring at you. The look on his face was one of utter contentment and happiness.
You had kissed him so delicately, so tenderly. He felt every sensation burn itself into his mind, desperately grasping to remember the way your lips felt on his.
His grip on you was gentle and cautious. He didn't want to crush you. You were so small and slender. Such a frail and delicate human in his grasp. Yet the same, you were something else, something he had never experienced before.
You wanted something so intimate with him. It had Sukuna spiraling deeper and deeper into a side he had long since forgotten about. He felt frail, weak... human, -- yet Sukuna couldn't find it within himself to care. The rush of sensations and emotions he felt from your contact, from your kisses and the way you touched him, -- It was intoxicating.
He wanted you, every single part of you...
No matter what.
---
You laid with him that night, and he took you-- right on the dirt ground beneath a sky of stars. Sukuna reveled in the way your body writhed underneath him, such a beautiful, fiery creature.
He bent down, placing a gentle, loving kiss to your forehead, licking the salty sheen of sweat from your skin. You shudder, eyes rolling to the back of your skull as another hot lick of pleasure curdles through you, searing white.
He couldn't get enough of you, decades of societal neglect and the absence of human companionship had starved Sukuna, and you were a whole feast. He ravished your body, the carnal hunger never satiated until he filled you with his full.
You clung desperately to his strong forearms, nails digging into the firm muscle. Incoherent babblings cascaded from your lips which he dipped down to hungrily lap up as you mewled underneath him. He'd crash his lips onto yours, the sweetness almost lost from the first time, -- drowned in the desperate need of the kiss.
Two large hands held you steady, keeping your legs apart and waist in place as Sukuna continued his rolling thrusts into your lower abdomen. Every snap of his hips against yours sent another coil of pleasure curling in your stomach.
Puddles of his seed bubbled from your opening, leaking through the small crevices and corners from where his massive cocks somehow didn't take up. You swear you almost shatter completely the moment you feel those sharp teeth graze the walls lining your insides.
Sukuna smiles from inside of you, two long tongues lolling out to lick at the coating of your guts. He pulls out the slightest bit, just enough so a relieved smile breaks on your face. He wished there was a way to permanently engrave the moment your hopeful expression shattered into his brain-- the way your eyes widen in horror, your mouth slacked open as the two tongues bully their way between your organs. They twist, intertwining, drinking the wetness from your body dry almost, and coming to a deadly point prodding at your stomach and swirling your intestines.
You cry out, the agonizing pain clashing deliciously with the pure bliss you felt. Your mind blanks and all the colors melt together.
Everything turns molten. Sukuna reaches down between your thighs, taking you in one big hand. You choke on your own spit, coughing and spluttering, hands flying to your crotch, only to be gently swatted away. Sukuna chuckled, gently pushing your body down as your back arches.
He continues to play with you in his hand, kneading the flesh between the pads of his fingers. He runs his knuckles up and down, coating his fingers with the tears from your crying tip. He tugged you playfully, watching like an eager puppy when your relief pours into his hands, drizzling in between his fingers, squirting onto his chest, painting the black markings white.
Sukuna places two lathered fingers into his mouth, groaning from the taste of you sitting on his tongue, and he sucks down hard.
He needed you like the earth the sky's rain. You gave meaning to his long, empty, accursed life. You were forever damned to him, and Sukuna would have it no other way.
You were his god, his stars, his beauty.
And he found you absolutely ... divine.
<3
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[A/N]: the other kind of lobotomy kaisen
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lgbtlunaverse · 3 months
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There's a version of the "don't go grocery shopping while hungry" rule specifically for writers where you should never under any circumstances be allowed to touch your draft within 3 hours of reading a really good story. Because sometimes when you read something great your head goes "fuck this is so much better than my stuff I should make that more like THIS instead!" Look at me. That's the devil talking and you should close the document NOW.
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luveline · 6 months
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spencer one shot where he’s angry at somebody else [bc he so does look so kissable when he’s angry >:(] maybe someone at one of the precincts they’re working at said something rude about r and he defends u and maybe he gets a lil kiss <3
im thinking “this is calm and it’s doctor” vibes bc that scene does things to me 😭
ty for requesting ♡ fem, 1.1k
cw for sexual harassment
"Jesus," Spencer says, rushing to stand behind you as you bend over. 
"Mm?" you hum. You're fishing for your dropped change unsuccessfully by the precinct vending machines. "They have your chips, did you see?" 
"Your pants are ripped," Spencer says, hand ghosting your thigh. 
"What?" you ask, shooting up. You turn on the spot to hide, hand leaping back. You feel at the seam. "Where?" 
"Top of your thigh." 
"Shit, really? Can you see my–" 
"Yeah," he says, meeting your wide eyes while you locate the rip. "How did you do that?" He laughs. 
"Don't laugh!" you demand, though you're giggling as you do, hand covering your thigh and the bottom of your butt inefficiently. 
"Do you want my jacket?" 
"Don't cover it up, toots." 
You and Spencer both blink. There's a crowd of grinning beat cops by the door of the cafeteria who've obviously witnessed your misdemeanour. "Toots?" Spencer asks. 
"Sorry, boys, that's the end of the show," you say with a grin. Not because you particularly enjoy having been oggled, but it's always been like this. Men will always make weird comments to you, and you've learned to play nice until they're out of your jurisdiction. 
"Turn back around," one says bravely, though you aren't sure which one. 
Spencer stands in front of you subtly. "Do you know that thirty eight percent of women experience sexual harassment in the workplace?" he asks, quick but measured. "Thirty eight percent, but I'm sure a much smaller number of those women are federal agents, and a smaller number again have the capacity to break your arm. I've seen her give serial killers radial fractures. I've seen her do worse." 
"We were just messing around," one says. 
"No need to get defensive," says another. "Don't get mad, boy." 
"I am defensive, but I'm not mad."
His tone attracts the attention of a precinct sergeant who barks at them to stop messing around and get back to work. "Were they bothering you?" he asks after they've filtered out with their heads down. 
"No," you say swiftly. "Everything's fine." 
Spencer frowns, worse when the sergeant leaves, turning to you to take your hand. A few weeks ago at a company picnic, when the sun was high and your spirits comparatively lower, you'd apologised to him for flirting. You love to flirt and especially with him, puppy eyed Spencer with his head of brown hair and his big brain, but some of the team suggested you were taking it too far. You apologised, but Spencer didn't really get what you were saying sorry for and took your hand to lead you out of the sun. He protects you. 
"You okay?" he asks. 
"I'm fine." 
"You sure?" His voice fries. 
"I'm sure," you say. His hand is an interesting thing on yours. He has long, long fingers that seem to possess their own willpower, moving even as they're sewn through yours. "I don't know what to do about my pants." 
Spencer's eyebrows pinch together. "Well, I'll take care of that. I'll find you something. I can't believe those as–" 
"Oh," you interrupt, taking your hand back in want of a better thing to hold, his cheek a mix of soft and scratchy against your palm. "You're still mad." 
"I'm not mad," he insists, though eventually he relents, "Alright, I'm angry that they'd think it was okay to objectify you." 
"What else?" you ask, letting your voice drop in pitch, the sound smooth as angora silk. 
"I'm thinking about if I hadn't been here." 
"I can protect myself," you murmur, endeared by the heat in his gaze. "You said it yourself, handsome. Radial fractures." 
"You shouldn't have to." 
"We both already know that," you say, the side of your hand slipping down his cheek reverently. He squints gently, his lashes dark triangles, his irises a browned sugar. His jaw clenches under your touch. "You're handsome." 
"Right now?" he asks dryly. 
"Are you handsome right now?" 
"Are you really flirting with me right now?" 
"Why wouldn't I be?" You draw a line under his ear whisper soft to curl a longer strand of his hair around the tip. "You look hot when you're winning." 
"What did I win?" he asks, like he doesn't want to know. 
You grin at him, stickying. "Would you like an itemised list?" you ask, rising on tiptoes to speak into the shell of his ear. "What do you think you deserve, handsome? For such a fearless defence?" 
He's not immune to your whims, but he is used to them, planting his hands on your shoulders to ease you back on sure footing. "I don't want anything. I'll always defend you." 
"Can I give you a small token of my gratitude, at least?" 
His pinking cheeks practically emanate heat. "We don't have time for this," he says regretfully, "I still have to find you a coverup." 
"Just a small token," you say. 
He hums and haws. "Alright. Okay, whatever you want." 
"You sure?" 
He nods once, his jaw working with something unsaid. You touch his neck, fingertips trailing along the underside of his jaw until you're sure it's what he wants before you brace your hands behind his head and press a chaste kiss to his cheek, close enough that the corner of his lips align with yours but don't overlap. His neck is hot in your hands, his hair soft, his breath hooking as you lift your lips just a touch and your nose digs into his cheek. "Thank you, Spencer," you whisper. 
He pulls you closer. 
You shudder as his hand presses into the small of your back, wondering what it is he wants to do. His fingers spread. Your thoughts turn to white noise. Like he can sense it, he breathes out and steps away, but any sense of urgency is gone. 
"As much as I might tease, I really do need some pants," you say. "I'm not very interested in anyone else seeing my panties today." 
He rushes off to find you something and you press the backs of your fingers to your cheeks, feeling the heat there with a resigned embarrassment. He has no idea how much power he has over you, in his stony anger and his eager reception. The phantom of his hand warms your back until he returns, his sweater in hand. "Sorry, this is it." 
"If you want me to wear your clothes, just say so." 
"Hotch is pretty pissed at us." 
"Ah," you sigh, tying his sweater around your waist, "another day in paradise, baby." 
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i-like-eyes · 2 years
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Weirdly Specific Artist Ask Game
Didn't see a lot of artist ask games, wanted to make a silly one.
(I wrote this while sick out of my mind last year and it's been collecting dust in my drafts, I might as well let it run free) 1. Art programs you have but don't use
2. Is it easier to draw someone facing left or right (or forward even)
3. What ideas come from when you were little
4. Fav character/subject that's a bitch to draw
5. Estimate of how much of your art you post online vs. the art you keep for yourself
6. Anything that might inspire you subconsciously (i.e. this horse wasn't supposed to look like the Last Unicorn but I see it)
7. A medium of art you don't work in but appreciate
8. What's an old project idea that you've lost interest in
9. What are your file name conventions
10. Favorite piece of clothing to draw
11. Do you listen to anything while drawing? If so, what
12. Easiest part of body to draw
13. A creator who you admire but whose work isn't your thing
14. Any favorite motifs
15. *Where* do you draw (don't drop your ip address this just means do you doodle at a park or smth)
16. Something you are good at but don't really have fun doing
17. Do you eat/drink when drawing? if so, what
18. An estimate of how much art supplies you've broken
19. Favorite inanimate objects to draw (food, nature, etc.)
20. Something everyone else finds hard to draw but you enjoy
21. Art styles nothing like your own but you like anyways
22. What physical exercises do you do before drawing, if any
23. Do you use different layer modes
24. Do your references include stock images
25. Something your art has been compared to that you were NOT inspired by
26. What's a piece that got a wildly different interpretation from what you intended
27. Do you warm up before getting to the good stuff? If so, what is it you draw to warm up with
28. Any art events you have participated in the past (like zines)
29. Media you love, but doesn't inspire you artistically
30. What piece of yours do you think is underrated
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zeldasnotes · 5 months
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CHIRON IN THE HOUSES ⚷
What your placement makes me think of
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CHIRON IN THE 1ST HOUSE: Afraid of being seen as weak, people commenting on your appearance, hiding behind makeup, forcing a tough phacade, extreme competetiveness, surrounding yourself with tough people, comfortable in a small pond so that you can be the big fish, projecting your selfhate onto others, picking other peoples appearance apart, picking your own appearance apart, acting arrogant as a coping mechanism, analyzing, forcing confidence, body dysmorphia, being seen as a target, afraid to go places alone, having a unique feature people comment on.
CHIRON IN THE 2ND HOUSE: Poor kid in a rich kids school, growing up poor, growing up in a family with no money or the opposite growing up in a rich family where money is everything, childhood messed up your moral compass, low self worth, body image issues, not feeling at home in your own body, being used for money, born in the wrong body, growing up in a single parent household, possessive, afraid of loss, experiencing a lot of loss, greediness or completely rejecting the material, not taking care of yourself properly, afraid of change, afraid of never finding stability.
CHIRON IN THE 3RD HOUSE: Bullying during early school years, being compared to a sibling, having a lisp, stuttering, difficulty with expressing yourself, passive aggressive, asthma, communication issues, feeling unwelcomed in your neighbourhood, issues with cousins, speech therapy, having a twin, having a sibling you are expected to ”live up to”, feeling afraid to talk, strong need to be seen as intelligent, outsmarting people, feeling insecure about your social skills.
CHIRON IN THE 4TH HOUSE: Being the black sheep, suppressed childhood memories, feeling rejected by a family member, being the family scape goat, walking on eggshells at home, extremely intuitive, afraid of people being angry or irritated with you, a mother with bpd, a narcissistic mother, generational trauma, trying to heal your mother, a family of broken women, emotionally unavailable parents, constantly hearing parents fighting, having to pick sides between family members, feeling stuck at home, issues renting or buying a home, having to constantly move.
CHIRON IN THE 5TH HOUSE: Experiencing mom/dad shaming, shamed for having kids later in life, shamed for having kids too young, shamed for not wanting kids, teen dad/mom, strong need to be creative or rejecting your creativity, custody battle, having to co-parent with someone you dislike, baby trapped, growing up too fast, ashamed of having fun, afraid of expressing yourself, inability to just let got and have fun, insecure about your style or art, not getting along with your own child, using your pain as entertainment or art, feeling a need to constantly perform.
CHIRON IN THE 6TH HOUSE: Hard time with routines, door dash addict, inability to take care of yourself, obsession with routines, overworking or inability to find work,a job that drains you, a need to constantly be of service, constantly getting sick, your needs being ignored growing up, working with healing others, being overly criticized by a parent, workoutschedules, bad experiences with pets, dieting, hypochondriac, never feeling clean enough, growing up in dirty surroundings, among hoarders.
CHIRON IN THE 7TH HOUSE: Feeling like there is a wall between you and others, fear of rejection, early experiences with rejection, rejected by your first love, no social life, afraid of never finding ”the one”, early experiences with betrayal, people pleasing, ”you havent met anyone yet?”, getting into your first relationship later in life, attracted to wounded people, trying to save bad people, scared of being left for someone else, trying to be perfect, obeying to be liked, connections with others ending badly.
CHIRON IN THE 8TH HOUSE: Afraid of opening up, experiencing constant loss, afraid of loss of power, growing up around someone who asserted power over them, a wound surrounding sex and intimacy, being left out when it comes to inheritance, afraid of not being in control, people trying to control you, freaked out at the thought of ”doing it”, a bad or traumatizing first time, ”doing it” as a selfharm method to take back control after trauma, having to take money in the form of donations, external help, scholarships bc of your family being low income, ashamed of having to take money from others.
CHIRON IN THE 9TH HOUSE: No faith, painful memories from school, the only kid with your cultural background in the whole school, feeling no hope, being forced to convert to another religion, afraid of traveling, never been out of the country you were born in, changing schools, afraid to go to school, bullying in school, not feeling accepted by your inlaws, not feeling free, feeling stuck where you grew up, feeling like you have no roots, being mixed race and not feeling at home with any side.
CHIRON IN THE 10TH HOUSE: Being a part of a family with a bad reputation and therefore being born with a bad rep, being forced into a career, not getting the recognition you deserve for your work, scandals becoming public knowledge, people still talking about that thing you did years ago, being known for something painful, an absent father, not being able to live up to who your father wants you to be, seeking validation from the public, afraid of public humiliation, being slandered.
CHIRON IN THE 11TH HOUSE: Struggling to fit in, prefering to hang out one on one instead of a group, being left out or blamed by a group, toxic friendships, wanting to save the world, misunderstood, deep understanding of the unspoken undercurrentsin group settings, uncomfortable in a group setting, bullying on social media, being exposed online, lack of hope, feeling that nobody gets you, not belonging to any group, strong need to contribute to society, powerstruggles with a stepparent, evil stepmom or evil stepkid kinda energy.
CHIRON IN THE 12TH HOUSE: Absorbing other peoples energy, living in solitude, sleep disorders, the people you least expected turning out to be an enemy, feeling a need to please the collective unconscious, hypersensive to your surroundings, feelings loneliness no matter how many people are around, feeling like you belong in the underworld, repressed memories, zoning out, constantly sensing emotional undercurrents, pushing things under the rugs, medication, bad experiences with addicts, psychic attacks.
CHIRON ASPECTING INNER PLANETS:
SUN/CHIRON: A fragile ego, inflated ego, absent father, putting on a false persona, defensive, acting arrogant when you feel insecure, a dad who left, deep understanding of why people do what they do, not knowing how to express yourself, identity issues, having a healing energy, trying to help everyone.
MOON/CHIRON: Extreme sensitivity, hiding your sensitivity, trying to find parental love in a partner, being shamed for your sensitivity, betrayal from women in the family, emotional scars, seeing through anyone, a bitchy mother, surrounded by bitches, having triggers you cant explain, rejecting and suppressing your emotions, nurturing issues, ”with women comes pain”.
MERCURY/CHIRON: Healing or wounding people with your words, verbally undressing people so that they feel as naked as you, penetrating people to the core, therapist, harsh criticism, wordplay, saying the thing everyone thinks but doesnt say, constantly putting your foot in your mouth, peoples words cut you like knives, you cut back.
VENUS/CHIRON: Extreme fear of rejection, connecting women with pain, female rivalry, low self esteem, attracted to wounded people, plastic surgery, wanting to look perfect, people pleasing to be loved, feeling unworthy of love, ”the bar is in hell” being treated like shit and accepting it bc you love them, feeling ugly no matter how much people tell you youre beautiful, betrayal by women, brutal rejection from a love interest that affected your self esteem deeply.
MARS/CHIRON: Suppressing anger, turning the anger inward or overcompensating by being overly aggressive, surrounded by aggressive men, surrounded by toxic masculinity, feeling uncomfortable around men, afraid of anger, extreme anger from men, feeling like you are not ”man enough”, the dark side of being a man, shamed for your sexuality, rejecting your mascuiline side or acting overly masculine.
© 2023 Zeldas Notes All Rights Reserved
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dr3c0mix · 3 months
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Yoooo, what are you waiting for it's gangussy time 😡😡 😡😡😡😡
(This is a joke please please please take care of yourself first for the love of whoever is up there don't overwork yourself 🙏 )
Utmost Loyalty
Yan!Gang x GN Reader
no warnings that i know of, theyre just really really stupid
🐉 The grocery you usually go to was closed early for the day, poor you had to walk the 2 miles to the nearest store in order to buy the stuff you needed for the week.
🐉 Living alone was hard work. You worked an exhausting 9 to 5 job that barely provided for your tiny apartment and pet (and your endless merch of your favorite franchise)
🐉 You were already tired from working today, and now you have to walk an extra 2 miles to get groceries you may or may not be able to afford because you never went to said grocery store before??
🐉 The grocery was in a pretty sketchy part of the city, with the smell of car exhaust and cigarettes lingering everywhere that you had to cover your nose to evade the scent.
🐉 You quickly went in the store and breathed in deeply, thankfully the store didn't smell so bad.
🐉 Besides than you, there were only 2 other people, the store owner and someone in a black suit eating some instant noodles.
🐉 You went to work trying to find all the stuff you need on your list. Coffee, fruits and veggies, snacks, and maybe some chocolate as a treat for yourself~
🐉 You pay for your things, unfortunately unable to afford the chocolates, and leave the store.
🐉 aaaaand now its raining...
🐉 You rush to the nearest cover, trying to cover the paper bag full of your groceries before hearing labored breathing from the alley you passed.
🐉 You stop and look back to see a man hunched over, his back to the wall as he winced at a wound he had on his torso that stained his white buttoned up shirt. He looked to have come from a fight..
🐉 You gasp, almost dropping your groceries. His golden eyes dart over to you and glare at your meek form.
🐉 "What're you lookin at?" he growls.
🐉 "You're..bleeding- You're bleeding!!" You start to panic.
🐉 "Yeah no shit I'm bleeding! What the fuck do you want?!"
🐉 You scramble away from the man in the alley frightened and freaked out. Out of instinct, you return to the store and ask where the first aid items are.
🐉 Kagiri sighed, trying his best to hold on while waiting for his gang to arrive and help him out. He just had to be strong. He can get through this. He can do it! He doesn't need anyone!
🐉 "Sorry! I'm back!"
🐉 goddamnit..
🐉 He grumbles at your presence but then realizes you have two bags and not one like you had recently. You put down your groceries and take a few stuff out of the other bag. Band-Aids..gauze..sanitizer..what's going on??
🐉 "What are you doing?" He asks in a threatening voice.
🐉 You don't say anything, you focus on trying to patch up his wounds, asking him a few things once in a while like "can you lift your arm please?" or "unbutton your shirt a bit.."
🐉 And he let you..for some reason...
🐉 He went from growling to staring silently at you while you worked on bandaging his wounds, like a feral dog being pet for the first time.
🐉 Now he managed to get a good look at you. You were quite cute, and it looked like you just got off work from the attire you were wearing. Your hands were so soft compared to his calloused ones, and your eyes..one look from you and even the toughest mafia boss will melt from how comforting they are..
🐉 And before he knows it, you've finished and were apologizing profusely to him for butting in on his situation, he was gonna say something else but you ran off.
🐉 You finally arrive back at your apartment, your pet cat rubbing against you as you lock your door. You smile and pick her up about to ramble about the hectic day you had until you realize..
🐉 You picked up your cat..
🐉 Your hands were free prior..
🐉 YOU LEFT YOUR GROCERIES!!
🐉 Silence fills the room before you let out a pitiful sob. Scolding yourself for forgetting your groceries with that mysterious guy, all that money and fresh food wasted! Your cat tries to lick your face to calm you down.
🐉 You pace around the room trying to figure out what to do now until a knock on your door is heard.
🐉 You open the door but there was no one there, but you see two men hastily and quite loudly scramble their way down the stairs giggling like middle schoolers. Did two grown men really ding dong ditch you??
🐉 You sigh and go to close the door, but your cat meows and trots outside and you look down to see her paw at a bag full of groceries..what?!
🐉 All your groceries were there, plus some extra cans of food, wrapped onigiri..your chocolates? and it wasn't in a dull paper bag anymore, it was in a black tote bag with a gold insignia of a sea serpent.
🐉 You didn't dare question it, considering the looks of the man who helped you and the part of town you were in, he was likely part of some gang and wanted to thank you.
🐉 But it didn't stop there...
🐉 You felt like you were being watched every time you were outside..no, it wasn't a feeling, THEY WERE LITERALLY RIGHT OUT IN THE OPEN WATCHING YOU.
🐉 It didn't take a genius to spot them. You started noticing newcomers to the places you frequented. Like in a cafe that was fairly quiet and cozy, there were about 5 men dressed in blazers with some kind of flashy undershirt and gelled up hair at the very back of the establishment.
🐉 They didn't do a good job trying to hide the fact they were watching you with a newspaper.
🐉 It freaked you out, but you tried your best to ignore them.
🐉 But it was hard to do that when they started talking to you..
🐉 "Excuse me, you dropped your wallet.." you turn around and almost stumble over the tall intimidating man right behind you meekly handing you back your wallet.
🐉 You take it back with a shaky hand and waddle away trying not to look back.
🐉 If you did, you'd see the big burly man absolutely blushing and squealing as a few other men giddily walk up to him, showing a video of the encounter you just had from across the street.
🐉 There was also the time you caught them staring dreamily at you when they saw that you started using the tote bag with the serpect symbol as your office bag, it was a pretty nice bag and you didn't want it to just lie around your house..
🐉 And that one co-worker who's kind of a creep? Never messed with you again. You caught a glimpse of them shivering over the symbol on your bag.
🐉 Not to mention boxes of groceries that show up at your door all wrapped up in a red bow, they still haven't learned to be more silent when dropping those off..
🐉 After a bit you start to recognize some of them from their haircuts or the jewelry they always have on them. It made you more curious as to what their deal was.
🐉 So you decided to search up online with the insignia on the tote bag as your first clue.
🐉 You find out that its the symbol for a local gang that dealt with all kinds of stuff, robbery, misconduct, public damage..mostly public damage..
🐉 You manage to find a photo of all of them, you recognize the man in the center. It was the guy you saw in the alley way..
🐉 Connecting all the dots, you somehow got the protection of a gang because you patched up their wounded boss..great..
🐉 The next day you spot a few of the gang members again but instead of ignoring them, you give them a small wave before heading off the work. They were left stunned with a story to tell the others that'll make them squeal like little girls.
🐉 They started becoming less and less distant from you.
🐉 From watching you across the street to making small talk about the prices of fruits at the store.
🐉 One by one the gang gets a special moment with you, they were small mundane moments, but they treasured them like a core memory.
🐉 Word finally got to the boss that you've been very close with them lately, and he decides it's time to confront you.
🐉 As usual, a knock is heard at your door, and you see them clumsily run away, leaving a box of groceries behind..you should probably tell them you have a doorbell.
🐉 But it wasn't a box of groceries, it was full of heart shaped chocolates, sweet pink sweets and about 3 stuffed bears, topped up with a bouquet of flowers, as well as a note. You bring the box in and read small card.
🐉 Dear Mx. L/N, please go to this address tomorrow at 6pm. Don't be late. Please.
🐉 You can see words like 'We love you' and 'Have a nice evening' and 'we cant wait' messily scribbled out.
🐉 You arrive at the location at the designated time and look around.
🐉 The place they wrote in was a fancy looking restaurant that looked like the only thing you could afford was the water..
🐉 You're escorted to a table in a private room. You can hear the muffled noises of men giggling and talking before you enter and they all quiet down. It was quite intimidating to see them all in the same room, but the scariest part was seeing the boss; Kagiri, sitting in the center.
🐉 A little Siamese cat with big yellow eyes mewls at you and you pet it. It jumps up to you and purrs on your lap. Around his neck is a red collar with a gold nametag with the serpent symbol engraved on it, and on the back read 'Unagi'. You hear the men awe softly at the sight of the boss' cat getting along with their darling idol
🐉 Kagiri stands up and smiles at you warmly and by warmly I mean he looks terrifying
🐉 "It's nice to see you again. I never got to formally thank you for what you done to me." he lifts up his shirt a bit to reveal his healed wound which faded into a scar.
🐉 You nervously say you're welcome and shake his hand, you can't help but notice him shiver over your touch.
🐉 He invites you to sit down and eat and you spend the night having dinner and talking with the gang.
🐉 They try their best to impress you, sitting up straight, puffing out their chests, deepening their voices..
🐉 It almost seems like they were competing for your attention.
🐉 Once dinner was over, Kagiri speaks up "Now, about our meeting, we've been meaning to ask you something." he says gently.
🐉 The large man walks over to you and takes your hand and kneeling..what whats happening..
🐉 "Y/N L/N..will you be our new boss?" He asks passionately.
🐉 The gang cheers, pleading for you to say yes, it was like being confessed to by 7 grown men
🐉 "So? What will you say?" Kagiri asks, with eyes sparkling with hope and adoration.
🐉 The gang was kicked out of the establishment for making too loud and causing a disturbance..
🐉 Maybe you shouldn't have said yes..
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its done guys, this is probably the most fun ive had writing a fic!! also there may be bonus content about the individual gang members if you guys are up for that ;3
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elicathebunny · 4 months
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FINALLY CLOSING THE GAP BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR HIGHEST SELF IN 2024.
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You are going to STOP scrolling endlessly for self-help and advice content and you are going to STOP and apply the knowledge you have endlessly gained. Obtaining help and advice knowledge is useless if it goes through one ear and comes straight out the other. STOP becoming addicted to the idea of scrolling and scrolling for your problems yet you already have the resources to fix them. A fool is a person who cannot decide to take action despite having access to the information needed to do so.
BREAKING FREE FROM THE SCROLLING CYCLE
Learning and Applying is one thing, but Learning and Staying Stationary is literally brain rot. You're addicted to the idea of change and the end result, but you never take the steps towards discipline with a personal structure to get that result. You keep looking for quick fixes and easy hacks, but life is not a quick fix and no hack can elevate your life from 0% to 100% without visiting the rest of the numbers first.
TAKE A BREAK FROM SCROLLING
Take time away from your usual scrolling and learn to be on your own. Learn your own ways of self-care, learn what works for you and understand what you need, because nobody is the same. Following a millionaire's morning routine will not make you a millionaire. This routine has worked for someone to feel and be productive in the morning and was probably curated over the years to suit their current lifestyle. So, seeing other people's successes and comparing their working ways to your life is unrealistic if you are not in a position to implement them. Going straight from 0% (Being unproductive and procrastinating) to 100% (Being incredibly Productive and in tune with self) will not be sustainable for someone who has not built the discipline and the inner foundations required for it. STOP seeing information online and taking it without ALTERING anything to your personal situation.
STOP ASKING HOW TO AND JUST DO
"How to lose weight, How to become more social, How to do this and that"
Most of these things you ALREADY know the answer to. Everybody knows that to lose weight, you need to burn more than you consume. There is literally no other way, no magic and no secret hack, just that simple fact. I guarantee you know that to become more social you just have to be social. Learn to be comfortable in social situations which will require inner work, but it's not a difficult concept. Most of us know what we need to do, yet we still try to find quick fixes or another way that same message is presented to us differently. We act as if we are improving and developing on our "improvement" journey yet we are just finding coping ways to feel like we are moving, yet we are still in the exact same place as before. I know you know what to do, I know you have researched what you should do and ways you can do it. So why are you not doing it? Why are you still not where you want to be? If you are not where you want to be, then what you're currently doing needs to change. You cannot do the exact same thing you've been doing for years and expect a different outcome. You need to curate a routine suited to your needs that is realistic and achievable to adopt.
LEARNING TO MOVE ON YOUR OWN, STOP DEPENDING ON OTHERS TO FUEL YOUR SUCCESS JOURNEY LISTEN TO: NOBODY IS COMING TO SAVE YOU BY JULIENHIMSELF Make yourself your safe space, your foundation. When you see yourself in the mirror you should be able to tell yourself "I love you", you should be so sure in what you do that nobody else can contradict what you believe in yourself, this is the end goal of self-improvement. Many of us have put aside our goals because we "are not ready", "people may judge us" or "I need to be/achieve ___ to.." Now don't get me wrong, I'm on this journey with you. I write on this blog to teach my brain how to think in the higher mindset that I'm creating for myself. I too have thoughts like this which is why in 2024 we are going to break out of our old selves to make room for our new selves together. We have to lose ourselves to find ourselves. If you're mood and self-worth are controlled by other people's opinions, then you will never advance further with yourself and will remain stationary. You have to stop allowing other people to determine whether you are allowed to pursue your desires or if you shouldn't because of fear of rejection. Don't take life too seriously, we are only here for so much time. So what if people make fun of you? In a few years will you look back and be proud and fulfilled of your past or feel regret and disappointment? LISTEN TO: WHY YOU CARE SO MUCH BY JULIANHIMSELF + LISTEN TO: HOW TO DETACH BY VICKITA TRIVEDI
The only way to get to 0%-100% is by doing.
Embody your potential
2K notes · View notes
seospicybin · 8 months
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TOO HOT TO HANDLE.
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PART I
Lee Know x reader. (s)
Too Hot To Handle Masterlist
Synopsis: You and Lee Know become contestants in a reality dating show, Too Hot To Handle. (10,8k words)
Author's note: Hope you like this one too. Feel free to send feedback! x
Content warning: This is entirely a work of fiction and not affiliated with real Too Hot To Handle show.
YOU: I'm always on the hunt. I'm always looking for the next exciting thing [giggles] I know I may sound conceited saying this but... I usually get what I want [bites lip] Well, I'm beautiful, I'm fun, I have a great body... they can't say no to me [winks] get ready 'cause I'm coming in hot!
-
Having all these eyes on you the moment you walk in is nothing less than your expectations.
You used to get stared at by people, it's something that you've been dealing with after you went through puberty. For one, you don't have either the big boobs or the ass, your body is... average. But people still stare at you like you have all of that on you.
That's when you learn that sex appeal doesn't have anything to do with your appearance.
You can engage in a boring conversation with someone and they'd still find you sexy. Sex appeal is a gift, a very lethal gift.
"Hi, everyone!" You sweetly greet them with an elegant wave of hand.
"Girl, you're really cute!" One of the females says.
You smile even though you prefer to be called anything but cute, coming from her makes it sounds like you're small and not a threat to them.
However, a compliment is a compliment and maybe she meant it in a good way.
"You too," you return the compliment with a quick cheek-to-cheek kiss.
Skipping the females, you go straight to introduce yourself to the male guests, "Hi, hello!"
There are three of them, blonde, brunette, dark-haired, chocolate, vanilla, and caramel. They got everything in here and you can't decide which one you want to taste first.
"Jai!" The dark-haired says. The tattoos covering his left sleeve catch your attention.
You know that accent everywhere, "Australian. I like it," you say with a flirty smile.
You turn to the next one, "And you are?"
"Luca," he answers with a rather different accent.
It's hard to tell but he's tall with a very well-built body, it's safe to say he's an athlete.
"Do you play sports?"
"I'm a professional footballer," he answers.
"Soccer?" You ask for confirmation because football means a different sport in a few countries.
He nods, "Do you like it?"
"Well, I like what I'm seeing," you shamelessly reply.
It amuses him so much that he laughs, "I mean, soccer," he corrects himself.
"Only when you're playing," you answer without a beat.
You move on to the blonde one that has the biggest body out of the three. It's hard to miss those abs even with his oiled body reflecting the sun at you.
"Bryan," he introduces and doesn't hesitate to kiss your cheek.
"You're so big," you say in awe.
"The bigger the better?"
You grab a glass and let him pour you one, "Well, cheers to that!"
-
YOU: Oh... [fans your neck] They're all so hot. Not sure I can survive in this heat.
-
It's better to consider the other female guests as your friends rather than competitors.
They're all attractive and have their own charms, it's not like you're here to compare looks. You're here to have fun in a show called Pleasure Island.
From the name of it, you can imagine all the fun you can have and hopefully, get some action in the process.
The next male guest who enters the villa is a bit shorter than the previous ones, he has long curly hair and a great body.
He comes in your direction and introduces himself to you first before anyone else.
"I'm Jack!" He says with a smile that showcases his perfect white teeth.
"Hi, you have a nice smile!" You say.
"I love your smile," he flirts back with a subtle wink.
He leaves quite an impression on you, he has wild youthful charms.
-
YOU: Jack is cute. He'll make a cute boy toy. If you know what I mean.
-
It comes down to the last guest.
Your eyes are already busy silently checking them out while sipping your fruity cocktail but how can you say no to another body you can ogle on?
This guy sure has a lot of confidence in him. Wide strides, a sly smile, and a face that would make Michelangelo rise from his grave just to immortalize it into a sculpture.
Sadly, he only introduces himself briefly to everyone from the other end of the group of people lining up to face the camera.
"I'm Minho," he shortly announces his name with an enigmatic smile that would make Monalisa run for her money.
There's something about him, something you can't put your finger on. He got the body, and the face, he even got that improved, sexier version of The Kubrick stare.
You quietly watch him as he speaks to a girl with rosy cheeks, ginger hair, and a Scottish accent, you believe her name is Maisie.
Something about him makes you can't look away. A part of it must be because he's pleasing to the eyes and the other part is... You are simply attracted to him.
It feels as if he knows he trapped you in his magnetic field, he catches you looking.
Instead of looking away, you stare deeply into his eyes and sending him signals that you're indeed attracted that you can't stop looking.
Before it turns into an intense staring contest, you slyly smile and raise your glass at him for a toast.
He slightly raises his glass as well and sips it without breaking his eye contact with you.
That means signals received so let's see if he gets them right.
-
YOU: Minho is dangerous but who likes to play safe anyway? Definitely, not me [smirks]
-
"I like Jai. He's hot..." says the beautiful girl with strawberry blond hair, Agnes.
It's obvious that she'll be the main character of this show. She's hot, very likable, and has a perfect smile that would get her teeth-whitening ads.
"What about you?" She asks the tallest girl with legs for days, Zara.
Her dark skin glows under the sun and her curly hair flows down her back, radiating that goddess beauty.
"I like Bryan. I like big boy," she answers.
"And apparently, you like vanilla too, huh?" you playfully add.
Everyone cracks a laugh at your witty response and accidentally takes your turn to answer, "I like Jack, he's cute. I like cute boys."
-
YOU: Jack is the safest choice for now. I have my eyes on Minho too but I want to check the competition first.
-
"Yeah, he is, I think he's the youngest of them all," the one with midnight hair and light brown eyes, Alia.
Maisie nods in agreement, "But I got my eyes on Minho," she says.
The first competition appears and you keep your face straight, playing dumb.
"Oh, good choice!" You calmly respond.
"Did you see his face? He's so beautiful, like a Greek God!" Maisie says with a dramatic sigh.
"And his body, ooh..." Alia adds, overwhelmed by just the thought of Minho.
"Oh, you like him too?" Maisie asks, faking her surprised tone.
"Yeah, I'm going for him, he's so my type," Alia daringly says.
Forget what you said about them as your friends!
Maisie and Alia are your competitors now but you're not going to declare a war just yet. For now, you want to gather as much intel as possible to assess the probability of winning against them.
-
YOU: Minho is quite the ladies' favorite I see.
-
You're the last person to come into the bedroom and everyone seems to have chosen their territory.
There are five beds anyway, you're not afraid of not getting one and you're alright sleeping with anyone.
Maisie can have her victory when you see her getting onto Minho's bed.
You sit on the sofa looking away and when everyone else is busy chatting with each other, you look at Minho's direction laying down with hands tucked under his head.
Once your eyes make contact and lock in a gaze, you keep staring into his eyes with your thumb tugged between your teeth.
When you deem he gets the message as he flashes you his signature half-smirk, you look away and shift your attention to someone else.
"What's good, Jack?" You ask him who's looking lonely on his bed.
"You," he answers.
"I think I'm more than just good," you tell him with a flirtatious laugh.
"There's only one way to prove it," his eyes that keep looking at anywhere but your face tells it all.
-
YOU: Jack is just so... feisty? He's so young, so eager. He's like a rabbit, ready to have sex 24/7. A jackrabbit.
-
The theme for tonight's party is Greek Gods and Goddesses.
The males are wearing togas while the females are wearing white and gold dresses with less fabric and high slits on them. You put on a dress with a plunging neckline and a golden headpiece on the crown of your hair. Not forgetting to put layers of lipstick on because nothing arouses men more than seeing red-painted lips.
The male cheers when all the females are descending the stairs to the beach where the party is held. There's a bonfire, glasses of cocktails ready for everyone to grab, and platters of food arranged so beautifully to snack on.
To get it started, music is blasting through speakers so everyone can warm up with a dance, gyrating and humping against each other and whatnot.
You notice Jai and Agnes already got things going on as you caught them kissing in between changes of songs.
While Jack is hopelessly trying to get something out of you for a while.
At one point, you let him rest his hands on your hips as he stands behind you, dancing and rubbing yourself against him as a little treat for him.
-
YOU: Everyone is looking so hot, so divine... the sexual tension is rising and the night hasn't even started yet.
-
The music abruptly stops playing and everyone is told to sit down while Jack is taking center stage, announcing a game everyone is going to play.
"Nectar is the drink of the Olympian gods but unlike them, we have a new way to drink it!" He begins by sharing a little knowledge of the Greek mythology.
You have zero idea what it's got to do with a game everyone is about to play.
"Everyone is going to stand here and let the other Gods or Goddesses drink the nectar from their bodies," he explains, pointing to a bowl of honey on the table.
A few of them coo in excitement and probably start thinking about what they're going to do with it.
"Nothing is off-limits! It's whatever, wherever, whoever you want to do," he playfully remarks.
Bryan is the first one to take his turn and he stands there with his big body, looking like a true Greek God in his toga and crown.
You see that Zara wastes no time to take her chance, taking a spoonful of honey and letting it dribble down his abs. She drops to her knees to lick the honey clean on his glorious abs.
"Whoo!" You howl and applaud her because she sets the standards so high already.
She doesn't miss the chance to kiss him after, getting his big boy just like she planned. Now that's hot!
It gets crazier with each turn and you want to have fun as well, ultimately, you want to show everyone how to get it done.
It's Agnes's turn. You don't usually have a thing for blonde but she's pretty and she'll make a great conquest.
Before Jai can have his chance, you dash toward her and brush her lips with honey right with your finger. She has soft lips and you're so eager to taste it.
You lean in and passionately kiss her, showing off your skill in kissing and giving everyone a little show. Just as expected, kissing her only convinces you that girls are better kissers.
"Oh, damn!" You faintly hear one of the males exclaim.
Agnes gasps as she lets go of the kiss and suddenly, Jai takes over from you, afraid that you'll take her from him.
-
YOU: It's a party. I want to have a lot of fun and kiss everyone.
-
You return to your seat with a triumphant smile on your face, on the way, you shot a glance at Minho to dare him.
However, both Maisie and Alia didn't get any from him. You start to wonder if he's going to kiss someone at all or not. When it's Minho's turn though, Maisie is excitedly put honey on his neck and licks it off for him, finishing it with a kiss on his lips.
Alia takes her turn after, kissing him right on the lips and well, you must admit that he's a good kisser. He's lacking in hand placement.
Sure, you would love to get up there and show him what a good kisser you are.
-
YOU: It's still day one. There'll be lots of opportunities to kiss him and if not, I'll make the opportunity myself.
-
When it comes to your turn, you expect nothing from Jack but he's waiting for it, rubbing his hands together, impatient to execute his plan on you.
"Come, get your honey," you playfully say.
Jack picks up the whole bowl of honey and pours it down your cleavage. You're gasping the second the sticky liquid lands on your skin and trickles down the valley between your breasts.
Putting the bowl down, Jack dives right in and buries his face between your breasts, he's smearing the honey all over instead of licking it off of you.
You admire his creativity for this even though you know it's coming from the pit of his lewd, juvenile brain.
"Oh, yeah!" He lets a celebratory roar but it soon dies down as someone else comes toward you in his confident, wide strides.
Your stomach is fluttering as Minho stands right in front of you, looking like Adonis with his sharp nose and chiseled jaws, got you holding your breath and wondering what he's about to do to you.
Minho is unpredictable which is exactly what you're looking for in a man.
You see he dips his two fingers into the honey and brings them close to your lips, smearing it all over. Your lungs are shrinking the longer you hold your breath yet you can't seem to breathe when he's leaning so close and about to...
Minho doesn't kiss you. Instead of that, he licks your lips and you can feel his hot tongue on your lips. One lick is all it takes to make your heart skip a beat.
When you think he's done, Minho tugs your lower lip between his teeth and gently bites it, pulling at it before letting it go.
As he takes a step back, Minho shoves his fingers to his mouth, a half smirk that signified he just evened the score with you.
-
YOU: Minho got the signals after all [slyly smiles]
-
When the host of the show enters you finally snap yourself out of it.
"Wild night, huh?" He asks everyone.
"Yeah!" Bryan answers the loudest.
"It gets wilder because I have a surprise for you guys!" The host announces.
That gets everyone excited, guessing what kind of surprise they'll bring on the first night of the show. They expect so much because everything has been great already. More girls? More boys? A celebrity guest? A DJ?
"Are you guys ready?"
Everyone is hyped, shooting up from their seats and jumping in excitement like kids on Christmas morning.
"Bring it in!"
The attention shifts to the two staff carrying a big wooden box and placing it in the center. The anticipation is rising and everyone can't wait to see what's inside.
"Five! Four! Three! Two..."
Everyone counting down the second and when it finally gets to one, the side of the box opens, revealing a cone-shaped thing inside, lighting up in purple colors.
Then you hear the infamous ding sound that you know for sure it's coming from Lana, the ultimate cockblocker.
Your excitement fizzles out in a second and drop your head on your hands, "Oh, fuck!"
Maisie squeals while Agnes shrieks in horror and the rest are wondering what is that thing, oblivious to the fact that they're about to be forced into celibacy.
"Is that an air freshener?" Jai asks in pure confusion.
"That's Lana!" You say.
"What?" He cringes and is still confused.
"She's going to cockblock us!" You concisely tell him what's about to happen to all of you.
"We're on Too Hot To Handle!" Zara breaks the news for everyone and makes it real for you that you're trapped in this show.
"Hello, I'm Lana, your personal digital assistant!" The cone starts speaking.
"Welcome to the retreat!"
-
YOU: What. The actual. Fuck?
-
"The purpose of this retreat is to help you gain deeper and more emotional connections."
Alia whines and then sighs, "I signed up for dicks," she lowly mutters.
You lowly laugh at her words, not realizing that you're also laughing at your pain.
"For the last 12 hours, I have been watching you and learning about your behavior. You have been selected as all of you are having meaningless flings over genuine relationships."
The more Lana speaks the more you feel like fainting. Can't believe that she threw a party, and got everyone all hot and bothered, delivering shocking news in the middle of it to let everyone know that they can't have a release at the end of it.
"As part of your social development, I have allocated a prize of $200,000."
-
YOU: That much money makes me horny, to be honest.
-
"How about I give you $200,000 for you to go away, Lana?" Luca jokingly offers but it falls short since Lana has no ears.
Even if she had one, she wouldn't listen to him anyway, Lana is her own boss.
"However, I will deduct money from the prize fund if there are breaches of the rules."
Looking at them and how wild the things they've done this night alone, you can tell that there'll be not much money left at the end.
"For those of you who need reminding, there is to be no kissing...."
"Fuck!" Zara bluntly curses.
"No heavy petting, no sex..."
"Oh, my God!" Agnes panicking, looking like she's about to hyperventilating.
"And no self-gratification."
Jack's eyebrow raises in question, "What's that mean?"
"No masturbating," you tell him with a sad smile.
He looks devastated as if you've just told him a relative has died, "for real?"
You stifle a nod.
"Welcome to your long, hard, sexless summer," Lana finishes.
-
YOU: Boys make me horny. Money makes me horny. I'm fucked.
-
Everyone in the dressing room is groaning and complaining about the turn of Pleasure Island into No Pleasure Island with Lana ending the party for everyone.
You don't want to be dragged down into the misery pit and decide to finish your night routine quickly, wanting to end the day already.
Minho's bed is right next to the door and he's laying there as if he's been waiting for you.
"You'll sleep on this bed," he says, stopping you from walking.
You tip your head to the side, then let out a low chuckle, "How are you so sure?"
He leans back on his pillow and puts his hands under his head, "because I'm sleeping here," he answers.
Minho is so cocky, so pretty, a menacing force in this retreat and you're intrigued to see what it feels like to sleep with the devil's advocate.
You crawl onto the bed and lay next to him, not showing any signs that you'll fall into his temptations, at least, not tonight.
-
YOU: Well, as expected, the best girl won!
-
The next thing you anticipate is how Maisie or Alia is going to react to seeing you in one bed with Minho.
Minho has his hand resting on your stomach like he's trying to hold you down, not letting you go anywhere even though you're under the cover with him, chatting with Agnes who's occupying the next bed with Jai.
Maisie is the first one to see that her number one guy is on the bed with someone else, she glances away and is left with no choice but to sleep with Jack tonight.
You don't have to look to know that she's throwing daggers at you with her eyes from across the room.
And Alia looks calm about it, she's going to sleep with Luca anyway. Perhaps, she's switching onto his lane tonight.
"No one breaks the rules tonight!" Bryan remarks.
There's always that one guy who's going to protect the money but it's a surprise that it's going to be Bryan.
"Be good!" He warns once again as he looks around the room.
Something about being reminded not to do something though only encourages all of these horn dogs to do it.
You turn your head to see Minho and can't tell what he'd likely do. With most men, you can easily tell everything about them but Minho... he is uncharted territory but it's a good thing that you're eager to explore.
-
YOU: Minho is so perfect and I feel the need to violate it.
-
You're usually jealous to see anyone prettier than you but not with Minho.
Instead of being jealous, you want to admire him, and worship him like a divine being he is. You hesitate to touch him because it doesn't feel real to exist in the same space and time with him.
It's getting dangerous now that the lights are out and anything can happen in the dark.
He turns to lie on his side and face you, with the dim light coming from the sleep lamps you can see his eyes are open and looking at you.
You reach for his hair and put the strand away from curtaining his forehead, "Are you going to be good tonight?" You keep your voice low as everyone else is going to sleep.
His hand finds your waist under the cover and then he answers, "I don't know."
He then slides his hand to the arch of your back and using all of his strength, he pulls you close until your body is against him.
Brushing your hair to the side, he then brings his mouth close to your ear and whispers, "We'll see."
His vague answers only make you feel uneasy but your chest is overflowing with excitement that you can't sleep, even when you're sleeping, you feel alerted with every movement of his body against you.
In the middle of the night, he disrupts your sleep with a gentle kiss on your neck. He then slides down the strap of your tank top so he can place kisses along your collarbone.
The quiet in the room is filled with the rustles coming from this bed as Minho hovers above you, he takes both of your hands and pins them above your head.
You believe he specifically chooses this time to see if you can keep it quiet as he places kisses down your neck and chest. Each kiss leaves a searing mark on your skin with a few low moans slipping past your mouth.
You don't even try to break away from the hand pinning your hands by the wrists but can't stay still as he's teasing you more by kissing you all over your face, except your lips.
He teased you earlier by only licking your lips and by doing this, he wants to see how far can you go and see if he can make you push the limit.
Minho is a fucking sadist but what can you do when you get pleasure in pain?
He lands his lips so close to your lips that you reflexively open your mouth, ready to return his kiss but he retracts himself, you can see how pathetic you are from the way he's looking down at you.
"Are you going to be good tonight?" He asks you back, then loosening the hold around your hands.
Minho is turning the table back, leaving the decision whether to rule break or not to you.
In that case, he was wrong to think you'd be afraid to be the first to rule break.
-
YOU: Well, I mean... [bites lips] I've never been a good girl anyway.
-
That half-smirk of his is mocking you but he looks so damn attractive whenever he does that.
You hate losing but for this one time, you're going to like it.
"You fucking tease," you mutter to him, putting your hand on the nape of his neck and bringing his head close.
The bad wins tonight and you can feel the burn as both of your lips touch and clash in a blazing kiss that sets your body on fire.
You wrap your legs around his waist and draw him closer, leaving not even an inch between your bodies, your breasts squashed between your chests.
You kiss him hard and deep, making the most of it knowing that it will cost you money. Your hands are tugging at his soft locks.
His tongue skillfully parts your lips open and invades your mouth, deepening the kiss to get as much taste as he can. He is one phenomenal kisser and even if you had to die of asphyxiation, you don't want to stop.
However, you still want to live to play this game with him and he seems to have the same plan by the way he slowly pulling away. You both gasp for air the second you let go of the kiss.
You land soft pecks on his cheek and neck, turning his head to the side, You whisper "I let you win tonight," then playfully bite his ear.
-
YOU: And just like that, we're the first to break the rules in the retreat.
-
"Good morning!" Agnes cheerfully greets everyone the second the lights are on.
"Morning!" You mumble your reply, still feeling sleepy with how little you slept last night.
Bryan pinches the bridge of his nose and scans everyone to spot any guilty faces, he looks even bigger topless next to Zara who owns a model body.
"I really thought I was dreaming that I'm in Too Hot To Handle," Agnes innocently shares.
You softly laugh at that and indirectly, at the satire of your own life. You turn to look at Minho, looking so beautiful even when he's just woken up from sleep.
"How about you?" You put your leg over him under the cover, rubbing his shin with your toes.
"Did you dream a sweet dream?"
Minho slouches down on his pillow, looking like he's about to go back to sleep, "It was sweet but it wasn't a dream."
He casually says that like it wouldn't bring back the recollection of how the two of you kissed last night and you're not going to lie, it gets you wet just thinking about it.
-
YOU: Waking up next to him, the first thought that comes to mind is our kiss last night. Gosh... it was so fucking hot.
-
"Didn't you say you like Jack?" Zara asks the second both of you are out of everyone's earshot.
"But I didn't say I only like him," you playfully respond.
She giggles in amusement, "You're a trouble. I like it," she says.
Working out with her at the beach, earning you some tips and exercises you can to get her perfect body figure.
"You got some real competitions though," she says while doing a minute-long plank.
You're running out of breath but manage to answer her, "So?"
Zara chuckles again, "You're not afraid you're juggling two men and going against two girls at once?"
When she puts it like that it sounds like you're creating a problem for yourself. In this retreat, you can't just do whatever you want without getting the consequences considering that you're locked in with them for the next few weeks.
"Well... I like Minho more," you tell her and drop to the mat as one minute has passed.
"Yeah?" She asks for further details.
"But he makes me second guessing everything," you concisely explain.
You turn over and cover your eyes to shield them from the morning sun, "with Jack, it's easier. I don't have to think around him."
Zara turns to start doing side plank, "You're not looking for a good pet here!" She playfully scolds you.
You laugh and follow her lead to do the same, "Unless Minho likes someone else then he's my number one right now."
Zara gently slaps your butt, almost sending you toppled to the front, "that's a good girl!"
-
YOU: It's only day two and the options are still open but I know what I want. I want Minho.
-
It's convenient that the dressing room is empty at this time with most of everyone already dressed and dolled up for the day.
"Did anything happen with big boy Bryan last night?" You slyly ask while she's putting her fake lashes on.
She lets out a long sigh in response and slaps her spatula on the table, "What do you expect from an accountant?"
It all makes sense now. Bryan is an accountant, he thinks about the money more than treating his girlfriend with a smooch.
You burst into laughter and stop applying mascara, "hate to say it to you but you chose the wrong guy to be in the show with."
She glares at you from her table then looks back in the mirror, "he chose to play the good cop so that leaves me no choice but to play the bad cop."
"Ooo..." you coo, impressed with her determination to make Bryan break the rule with her.
"If you need a smooch, just know that I will give it to you in a heartbeat," you tell her with a sly smile.
Luca walks in on you applying sunblock on each other's body and he refrains from getting to his locker.
"What did I walk into?" He confoundedly asks.
As Zara bends down against the table, you lather sunblock on her ample butt then slap at it, entertaining the sole spectator in the room.
Luca is too stunned to speak that he's just standing there with his locker door open, "Damn. Do that again!"
The sight that welcomes you as you walk out of the house is of Minho in the pool with the Maisie and you owe it to her to give her a chance, making it a play fair.
You turn the other way and decide to sunbathe on the lounger with Alia, chatting about some good skincare products since she's done some beauty ads.
After a while, you see Agnes and Jai walking back from the beach. From the way Jai is grinning from ear to ear, you can tell that they did something that cost some money.
"Hey, girls," she innocently greets you both and sits on the farthest lounger.
"Hey," you reply then exchange a look with Alia.
She seems to also get the same impression and straightforwardly asks Agnes about it, "Did you just spend some money?"
Knowing that she has a bad poker face, Agnes licks her lips and stifles a nod.
"Oh, no..." Alia sighs and picks up her water tumbler from the floor to take a sip.
You see Jai is joining Luca and Jack in the pool, it's only about time that everyone knows someone has broken a rule and the others will soon take their turn.
-
YOU: They just didn't know that they're not the first to break the rules, eh? [bites thumb]
-
Zara packed a lot of outfits with her and you get to borrow one.
"I'm going to look so hot Bryan can't say no to me," she remarks.
You must admire her confidence and it's indeed looking good on her, you should have some on you as well if you want to win this competition.
The night is cool with a warm breeze blowing from the sea, carrying the salty air ashore. It's so easy to locate Minho since he's the only one that always catches your eye.
He's wearing a white shirt with the three top buttons open, exposing his chest muscles, and sitting with his legs spreading open.
You feel like dropping to your knees between those muscular legs and... you push the thought away. You focus on the mission you have to do.
One of the things you like about Minho is that he doesn't waste time, he's straightforward and that's what you're about to do, going straight to business.
"Calling for me?" You poke fun even though he doesn't say anything but sipping his drink by himself.
The sofa can fit three people but Minho's thick thighs are looking so comfortable you can't help yourself to sit on them.
"Do I look good?" You take his hand and put it on your waist.
"Not bad," he answers.
He reclines on the sofa, head tilting upward looking at you and that way, you can admire his beautiful face from the top, inexplicably never getting tired of it.
There's no need for words when you can see everything in his eyes, the way he's intensely staring into your eyes with his thumb lazily rubbing the arch of your back.
The tension is there and it's electrifying, you feel alive when you're with him.
"I like your eyes..." you say as you put your hand on his jaw and your eyes drop to his lips.
Minho softly laughs because he knows you're looking nowhere near his eyes when you say it. He puts a finger under the thin strap of your dress and twirls it around his finger.
"I like yours too," he says back as he's undressing you with his eyes.
-
YOU: God! I want him and I'm going to get him.
-
Putting your hands around his neck, you draw him close and put a few inches of safe space between your faces.
Pfft, it's not like it's going to stop you from breaking the rules.
"Are you going to be good tonight?" You ask.
"I haven't decided yet," he shortly answers.
You lean into whisper into his ear, "If you're good then I'll give you something as good later."
Now Minho knows what you mean by being good. That he won't let anyone turn his head or get tempted to break the rules with someone else.
Knowing his nature, you doubt that it will not stop him but it's worth trying. He got a taste of it last night and there's a big possibility that he wants more of it.
You softly kiss his cheek and take his glass of drink from his hand, not hesitating to take a sip.
Let's see how the night goes.
-
YOU: I think it's going to be a good night.
-
Too much confidence isn't good either.
You feel a little bitter when you see Minho openly flirting with Alia just a few feet away from you. A moment after that, he talks to Maisie.
You scoff because he decides to turn it into his game and you know what?
You feel like making him sweat a little, especially with Jack sitting across from you and checking you out long enough that you can't ignore it anymore.
You lay on your side and decide to tease him a little, "Nice shirt!"
His mouth curls into a sly smile, "Nice body!" He shamelessly compliments you back.
Agnes comes into the scene and sits on the sofa, letting you rest your head on her lap.
"How about me?" She asks.
His smile grows wider, "You two are on the top of my list!"
"Really?" Agnes asks in curiosity as she drags the letter R.
He points at you and says, "I'm obsessed with you but I think you know that."
"Whoa!" You respond in awe, surprised by how daring and blunt he is.
-
YOU: I'm not going to lie but I like the attention Jack is giving me right now.
-
You make a space between you and Agnes, patting it as you tell him, "Come sit here!"
Agnes folds her legs on the sofa and also tells him to come, "We're not going to bite unless you want us to," she says.
Jack, like the puppy he is, hops onto the sofa and sits between you and Agnes.
You lean in close to his side and put one leg over his thigh, slipping your hand into his brown, curly hair.
"Not sure about some bites but Jack wants some kisses," he confidently demands like the two of you would easily give it to him.
Agnes looks at you and you look back at her, in a few seconds of eye contact you know that she wants to do it, she shares the same chaotic energy with you.
"Jack wants some kisses, huh?" You childishly talk to him.
Jack turns his head to look at you and puckers his lips.
"Only if you say please!" You tell him.
"Please..." he pleads by adorably dragging the word.
You grab his chin and lean in to kiss him which he eagerly returns with so much passion, trying to show you what he got.
Not wanting to give him too much, you pull away from the kiss and say, "Agnes is a better kisser," you jokingly say to bruise his little ego.
"Yeah?" He says with an eyebrow raised.
"Why don't you try yourself?" You dare him.
Jack turns to the other side and Agnes doesn't give him one second to prepare himself, showing him how to get it done. You take your drink and sip it while watching them kiss in front of you.
-
YOU: I kissed Jack not because I have a feeling for him. We're just having fun [shrugs]
-
It was an eventful night.
Even though you have no idea what Minho did the rest of the night, you don't want to think too much about it, especially after what you've done behind him.
Thankfully, Lana hasn't announced any rule breaks yet and you can sleep in peace for tonight.
You walk to the bedroom in heavy steps and hate that you're feeling scared that Minho suddenly decides to sleep with someone else after being busy flirting with everyone the whole night.
You never know with him and this time, there's no excitement, it's just anxiety. You push the door with your shoulder and find the bed is still empty, you reckon he's still washing up.
Jack flashes you a smile as you get under the cover and it's only making you more anxious. You get startled when the bed shifts as Minho climbs from the other side.
Since he's not that cuddly of a person, you take his arm out so you can rest your head on it and snuggle close to his side, letting out a quiet sigh of relief.
"How was your night, my beautiful man?" You ask, your hand gently rubbing down his clothed chest.
"Good," he replies, twirling his finger around the thin strap of your black tank top.
"I can make it better," you whisper, lowering your hand down until your fingers meet the waistband of his boxer.
He looks at you and one corner of his mouth raises into his signature half-smirk, "No one is stopping you."
Bryan catches the two of you being suspicious and points it out at everyone, "Hands where I can see them!" He orders.
Instead of complying, Minho shoves your other hand under the cover and keeps them there.
"Minho, man, come on!" Bryan hopelessly scolds him.
It's in the dark that Minho once again starts his exploration.
He pulls you by the waist until there's not an inch of gap left between your bodies, you perfectly mold into his body as he spoons you from behind.
As he presses his lips on the nape of your neck, his hand traces the side of your body, stopping on the back of your thigh to squeeze the soft flesh there.
"I've been good tonight," he whispers to you.
You softly chuckle, not expecting that he'll be asking for what you promised him.
Without turning, you softly slip your hand in his hair, "Really?"
He places a long peck on your jaw, "mmh."
You turn to lay on your stomach and prop a hand under your head, leisurely looking at his beautiful face in the dark.
The plan was you're going to tease him just like he did with you the other night but after what you did and the assurance you got from that misbehavior. You want to show him that you don't want to play a game tonight, or ever again.
Tenderly, you caress his face and hold his jaw as you lean in, kissing him so slowly yet passionately. Minho seems to sense that there's something different about the kiss.
He brushes your hair to the side and holds it there as he returns the kiss to you, his other hand is slipped under your tanktop, splayed on your back with his thumb faintly rubbing the skin.
If only breathing wasn't necessary, you would keep kissing him.
You pull away and press your head close to the side of his head, placing little kisses on his jaw.
"That's money well spent," you comment.
He turns his head to face you and it only entices you to kiss him again but immediately refrain out of the fear of being head-locked by Bryan's giant arms tomorrow.
You sweetly kiss his cheek and lowly mutter, "Goodnight!"
Minho glides his hand up to your neck and looks at you, "Goodnight!"
-
YOU: Honestly, I wasn't thinking of Minho when I kissed Jack but after it happened, it only got to me then that I really like him.
-
When you wake up, anxiety dawns on you.
You feel sick in the stomach when Lana chimes in and lights up in the corner of the room.
"Good morning, everyone!"
You silently plead that Lana would not drop the news this soon. Not when you just woke up from a nice, long sleep with Minho cuddling you all night.
"Morning," you meekly answer with a yawn at the end and accidentally meet Agnes's eyes on the next bed, exchanging a knowing, uneasy glance.
"Today's weather will be sunny with highs of 82⁰ Fahrenheit and there will be zero chance of sex."
Jai breaks into laughter and puts his arm around Agnes's shoulder, "She's fucking quality, she is."
The day barely started, you can already tell it's not going to be a good one. You're counting down the minutes or even seconds until Lana tells everyone all of your sins.
-
YOU: I'm a bit on edge. Not a bit actually. I'm on THE edge.
-
Even after a session of yoga with Alia, doesn't help you relax at all.
You've done this plenty of times before, going from one casual partner to another in the blink of an eye and never feeling the slightest bit guilty about it. You don't know what changed when you're playing the same game and the only difference is that you're doing it with Minho.
It's after you showered and are immersed in the girl's talk while doing your make-up you finally can have a little peace.
"Have you cracked big boy Bryan yet?" You ask Zara.
Zara carefully swipes the brush on her cheekbones to apply some highlighter, "Girl, as if!"
"That big body comes with a tough personality too," Agnes comments, squinting her eyes to draw a neat line of black eyeliner.
"When we cuddle in bed, he locked me with his arms to make sure I didn't do anything," Zara rants, borrowing your pencil liner without asking.
"You should be grateful that he didn't headlock you to sleep," Alia chimes in as she braids her hair in front of the mirror.
You and Agnes are breaking into laughter at the same time.
That's when Lana decides that it's time for judgment. The cone chimes, startling everyone in the dressing room.
"Hello, girls!" She says.
Zara fans her eyes as she just puts on her fake lashes, "What's up, Lana?"
"Please gather everyone to the cabana!" She orders.
You exchange a knowing and uneasy glance with Agnes as your heart is beating out of your chest. Every step you take to get to the cabana is getting heavier the closer you get there.
There's a space next to Minho on the sofa but sitting next to him will only make you more anxious. You sit in the middle between Luca and Maisie, it's safer to be out of Minho's sight.
"I wonder who kissed who?" Luca asks with a haunting tone.
-
YOU: Counting my own mistakes, I know for sure that I broke the rules three times [shakes head in disappointment]
-
Your concern is not the money.
You believe someone else broke a rule or two as well. For example, everyone knew about Jai and Agnes's kiss at the beach.
Also, you're not afraid to admit the ones you committed together with Minho, it's the other ones that you're not proud of.
The sickening sound of Lana coming online makes your heart drop to your stomach.
"Hello, everyone!"
You can't find it in you to reply to her and awkwardly smile in response while everyone else is weakly returning her greeting.
"You were brought here to form deeper emotional connections and were given rules to adhere to. Those rules forbid sexual contact."
Even though Lana is a high-tech virtual assistant, you can hear in her voice that she's not pleased with everyone.
"Despite this, yesterday, your flagrant disregard for the rules has resulted in a deduction of $21,000."
There is a mix of shrieks, gasps, and curses happening all at once. Well, at least, now you know you're not the only one spending the money.
"You guys are blowing it," Alia says in disappointment.
"In total, there were seven rule breaks," Lana shares further details.
-
YOU: I contributed three out of those seven rule breaks but who did the other four? [squints eyes]
-
"Time to fess up!" Bryan calls the shot.
Everyone is looking at each other and trying to see any guilty faces. After a while, Minho points at you and calmly says, "I kissed her twice."
Now, that's a man. Minho doesn't falter as he owns up to his misdeeds and even says that it was he who kissed you when in fact, you were the first one to cave in to the temptations.
Maybe it's because of how fast Minho comes clean about it or it could be because of how overwhelming for him to know that two rules have been broken, Bryan only sighs and then moves on to find where the rest of the money went, "how about the other five?"
You gulp air again and pass the turn to someone else. Jai has the worst poker face he can't keep himself from grinning, "We did too," he says while half laughing, "You guys knew we did it on the beach once and did it again last night."
Agnes is looking down on her lap as Jai admits everything and adds an apology at the end, "I'm sorry, you guys!"
Bryan closes his eyes and his eyelids flutter, "Okay then, anyone else?"
Luca who's sitting next to you suddenly raises his hand, "I kissed Maisie last night," he confesses.
That is not what you expect and you're aware that you're getting in between them by sitting there. You didn't know Maisie had given up on Minho already.
"Just once!" He quickly adds.
Maisie even backs him up right after, "We shared a moment and we wanted to see if there's chemistry."
That shocks everyone but Bryan seems to give him a pass for only breaking one rule. Not sure what he'll do when he finds out about the last two rule breaks.
Agnes has been avoiding everyone's eyes and you don't expect much from Jack, he's staying quiet because no one suspects anything because he's harmless and the youngest.
-
YOU: But I have to be honest, right?
-
"I kissed Jack," you blurt out.
There's a long pause then Zara snaps her head in your direction, "What?"
Luca laughs next to you, "Look at him, sitting there all quiet," he says and keeps laughing afterward
A grin blooms on Jack's face, maybe it's the grand scene that he's been pictured in his head that he's not what everyone thought he was.
"Well, it's obviously because I like her," he shortly explains.
He rubs his chin and continues speaking, "And I don't regret that one if I'm being honest."
You've been avoiding looking at Minho's direction but you get the urge to see his reaction, not sure what you're expecting but he looks strangely calm about this.
When he's about to look your way, you hurriedly look away though.
You turn to look at the other culprit who's smiling like an angel next to her guy and you can't go down on your own.
"Agnes!" You call and wait until she looks at you to say, "You kissed Jack too!'
"WHAT?" Zara gasps and then covers her mouth, her eyes widen in surprise.
"Why did you do that?" Bryan asks since she's sitting close to her.
Jai who's sitting next to her looks not pleased at all, leaning back with his hands balled into fists on his sides. You would love to see Minho get a little upset too but when you glance his way, he looks not bothered at all.
Now that the offenders have admitted their crimes, Lana can announce the damages done to the prize money.
"I must also inform you that with these multiple rule breaks that happened in the last 24 hours, I have been left with no choice but to double the fine as of this moment."
Bryan's face drops onto his big hands and brushes his head to the back, making his combed hair disheveled in a second.
"Which means $42,000 has been deducted from the prize fund."
There are moans and groans of complaints but there's nothing anyone can do except try to keep their hands to themselves from now on.
"No more spending!" Bryan remarks, crossing his muscular hands together to form the letter X.
Everyone else is nodding in agreement but with almost a quarter of the prize money lost in one day, you're not the only one feeling pessimistic that there would be money left at the end of the retreat.
-
YOU: That means I spent $18,000 in one night? Whoops.
-
What makes them think that doing bondage in a workshop would help to take your mind off sex?
You're not sure if that's what the workshop is going to be but you see the waxed ropes and that's the first thing you have in mind.
"Today, we're going to learn Shibari," the guest sex expert announces.
"An ancient Japanese technique used to improve intimacy and trust in relationships," she shares with everyone.
Minho and you have no problem with intimacy but with what you've done recently, it seems that Minho is likely to have a trust issue with you.
"It's a bit more risque but it really does teach people how to trust which is the foundation for any long-lasting relationship," the expert further explains.
"Have you guys ever played with bondage, handcuffs, or any type of restraints?" The expert asks.
A few raise their hands in pride and you see Minho as the experimental type, always open to everything. You don't see him raising his hand, he's too busy shielding his face from the sun.
You take the first turn and can't decide which one you want to do, you haven't done this. Picking up the smaller rope in red color, you decide to do the simplest one called the Hand Prayer tie.
Minho doesn't need to be told, he puts both hands together in front of him and lets you tie rope around it.
"It goes around the middle fingers," he instructed.
As expected, Minho knows how to do this. It's a piece of information that both excites and scares you but in the best way.
After a lot of errors, you are finally done and not impressed with how you didn't tie the rope tight enough that Minho has no problem taking it off without your help.
-
YOU: Oh, yep, just exactly what Minho needs right now: tie me up.
-
"Are you ready?" Minho asks as he takes the bigger rope in the color black.
Now that he's about to tie you, you suddenly get a little nervous too.
"No," you answer with a low laugh.
He starts by turning you around, making you stand with your back facing him, not allowing you to see which knot he's going to do with.
"Hands to the back," he orders with his head looming on your shoulder.
You comply right away, putting your hands to the back.
"Shibari is based on power play. When you're the person with the rope, the rigger, you're actually the one who is surrendering and trusting your partner," the expert says as she walks around watching everyone tying each other up.
That's what you're going to do, you're going to trust Minho and he'll be having too much fun with it but he'll do nothing to hurt you.
The second the rope brushes with your skin, you feel a chill down your spine and when Minho pulls them, tightening them around your wrists, you let out a low moan.
Once he's done with the hands, he tidies the ends of the rope before instructing you to lay on your stomach on the mat
You're getting even more nervous as he bends your legs to the back and ties them together.
"Too tight?" He asks.
You test the knot by twisting your ankles together but it doesn't budge at all, "mmh," you hum in answer.
"Good," he calmly responds.
If this is his way of getting back at you then you just have to accept it. You should be grateful that he doesn't tie the rope around your neck.
He then brings your hands and legs together, tying them with the rest of the rope. He pulls at it to make sure the knot is securely tied.
You try to wiggle your body and try any way you can to break away but it's a fruitless effort, you're running out of breath from lying on your stomach for too long.
Minho notices and helps you to turn over, but your hands are now pressed under your body as you lay on your back.
"I can't get out of this," you tell him as he stands, towering over your body.
"No, you can't," he says with a malicious grin.
Minho then lays next to you on the mat, scoots closer to shield you from the sun, and then props a hand under his head as he enjoys watching you helplessly lying next to him.
"You're enjoying this," you say.
That's a wrong thing to say because he hasn't started yet. He picks a flower from the plant near him and uses it to caress your body, dragging the soft petal down the front of your body.
He knows that it does things to you and he can see it from the way your chest is heaving as the flower reaches to your lower abdomen.
Your legs are slightly shaking as he drags it lower and then stops right on the elastic band of your bikini bottom, tugging the flower there.
-
YOU: I must say it's the best kind of punishment. I don't even think it's a punishment [winks]
-
"Why did you kiss him?"
You know that Zara has been waiting to ask you that from the moment she found out about it.
You dab your face with a layer of foundation to get ready for the night, "I don't know. I was having fun."
She gives you a scolding look and tips her head to the side, "Girl!"
"I know but at that time I was feeling like... You know, it was so easy to break the rules," you honestly answer because you did feel that way.
There was nothing intimate about the kiss with Jack, if anything it was selfish of you to spend money on a meaningless kiss. You can see now how foolish you were for doing that.
"But instead of upset, I am so jealous of you," she says with a sad sigh.
You get quiet because you know how hard it is for her to even try to tempt Bryan to break the rules with her.
"He didn't even let me cuddle him," she adds.
It's a good thing that Bryan wants to be on Lana's good side but he disregards Zara's opinions about it, putting her needs aside which makes him just as selfish as you are.
-
YOU: The plan is I'm going to look hot, be a good girl, and talk to Minho. Wish me luck [Crosses fingers]
-
Taking a glass of drink to fuel your courage, you check if Minho is in a good mood before coming and start talking to him.
"Can I sit with you?" You ask for his permission when you usually would plop down next to him without asking.
He glances up and nods, "Yeah."
Minho doesn't talk much and you should be used to his short, concise answers but it seems a little different tonight, there's an edge to it.
You sit next to him and put a space in between, "You look good tonight," you compliment.
Minho is indeed looking good tonight. That's why he model, because everything looks good on him but you bet that he looks better with nothing on.
He tips his head to one side and looks at the dress you're wearing, "You too," he compliments back with a thin smile.
A little attention is better than nothing. You sweetly smile and mutter, "Aw, thank you!"
Before you forget your initial reason because of just one compliment, you remind yourself that you come to talk.
"So... how are we feeling?" You ask, testing the water before diving right into it.
"About what?" He innocently asks.
You lick your lips before answering, "About the kiss."
"Which kiss?"
Your palms are getting sweaty on your lap. It's like whatever answer you're going to give him would be a wrong one.
"Our kisses or...?" He asks again because you stay quiet.
You take a breath and try to slowly explain everything, "I think the kisses we shared are special. I can see that we have chemistry and connection."
He tilts his head low enough to give you the stare, "If that's so then why did you kiss someone else?"
You keep your calm and answer, "That kiss with Jack, it was nothing. I don't have any feelings for him so you don't have to worry about that."
Minho responds with a nod but no words come out of his slightly parted mouth.
-
YOU: I usually just walk away from a situation like this and stop caring about it but I want to make this work with him.
-
"Are you mad at me?" You ask because that's what you're dying to know.
He's been too calm that you start to think that he probably doesn't like you to even care about it but he only replies with a shrug.
"I don't want you to be mad at me because I do like you," you tell him to get an answer out of him.
He stares at you and makes you wait in anticipation to get a response from him. After a while, he leans back on the sofa and says, "We'll see."
You usually like the mystery those words bring whenever Minho says that but not this time.
"'We'll see'? What is that supposed to mean?" You ask in pure confusion.
"I need time," he answers.
You scoff and try to process his answer, "You want me to sit around and wait for like what? A week? Ten days?"
He slumps down the sofa and spreads his legs, casually he says, "I need time to get over it so until then... We'll see."
-
YOU: I kissed Jack because I saw Minho flirting with the other girls so why am I the only one having to wait for him to come around?
-
"Okay," you meekly say even though you're not sure that he'll get over it before the retreat ends.
You think that this is possibly his way to keep his options open or maybe that your fear is true, he doesn't like you that much. You just like to play games with each other.
"Are we still going to sleep in the same bed?"
"I don't know," he replies.
This is probably the right time to cut everything off before you get too attached to him when the options are still wide open and who knows that Lana will bring more guests to the retreat, there are many possibilities so why do you have to trap yourself in such a confusing situation and wasting your time on one guy?
You look away and shrug, "Okay, alright."
-
YOU: If Minho doesn't want to give me what I want then I'll just have to get it from someone else.
-
You're not tired but you're so ready for bed. You brush your hair quickly before going to the bedroom.
You don't look around but going to Jack's bed, you put the duvet away and say, "Come on, you're sleeping with me tonight," you tell him.
He looks taken aback but awkwardly follows you as you climb onto the bed you shared with Minho for the past two days.
Agnes is giving you the questioning look but just like everyone else, they don't say anything but let the drama unfold.
You get under the cover with him and turn to the side to look at him, "Are you cuddly, Jack?"
He pauses for a moment then says, "I am."
"I love good cuddles."
"Yeah?" He asks with a gleeful grin and eyes that are filled with hopeful glints.
"Of course."
-
YOU: I told you, Jack is my cute boy toy.
-
You slip your hand in his curls and play with it, at the same time, watching the door because Minho can come at any minute now.
"Your hair is so soft," you comment.
The door swings open and Minho steps inside, stopping on his track for a second to see that someone else has taken his spot.
The brief look he gives you is enough to make you gulp air, he's saying nothing but has to share a bed with Alia.
The silence is suffocating as everyone watches intently every gesture or expression on either you or Minho to get any hints about what's happening between the two of you.
Their eyes are going back and forth because your beds are facing each other.
"Don't you feel a little hot, Jack?" You ask.
"Uhm..." he hums as he thinks of an answer to such an easy question, "I think so."
You sit on the bed and look in Minho's direction, not necessarily seeing him eye to eye. You take your top off, not caring that this will be broadcasted all over the world and everyone can see your tits.
"Oh... fuck..." you hear Jack curses under his breath next to you.
Minho takes a sip of water from his tumbler and you can see that his jaw tensed as he swallows his water.
Once the lights are out, you get under the cover and turn to the side to face Jack. For someone who kissed two girls at once, he's playing safe by keeping his hands away from you.
You lean in close to his pillow, "How was your day?"
He rakes his brain to answer another simple question, "Can't complain," he answers.
You giggle because of how cute he is, how oblivious to the fact that you're using him to make Minho jealous. When you think about the kiss you shared with him, he isn't that bad of a kisser, he was too excited at that time to focus on using his skill.
You kind of want to give him a second chance so you lean in closer and ask him, "What do you think about spending 6 grand tonight?"
-
YOU: We'll see? No, Minho. You'll see.
-
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DPXDC prompt ~Dead on main~Someone is walking over my grave
Jason sits on his tombstone and thinks about..something.
He lazily washes off the dirt that has been stuck on his army boots after the rain. It covers the year of his death perfectly. Grinning, he puts out a cigarette by using the mentioned stone. The cigarette butt throws between ugly funeral wreaths.
Danny: Hey, asshole, stop it!
Jason turns around. A very angry twink is rushing at him. The notorious crime lord does not have time to react when a fist hits him. Red Hood falls into a puddle. Shit! His favorite leather jacket!
Jason: What the hell are you doing?
Danny: No. What the hell are you doing?! Just because a man is dead doesn’t mean you must not respect him. You’re in a cemetery. Behave yourself, shithead. Or I’ll teach you manners.
Jason: You’re not from around here. Right?
Danny: So what? I doubt it’s normal to wipe your feet using a tombstone. Even in Gotham.
A malicious gremlin folds his arms on a chest.
Jason sits in a puddle more comfortably and pulls another cigarette out of his pocket. Damn, it’s wet.
Jason: If you were gothamite, I wouldn’t have to explain. It’s my grave, idiot. I do what I want with it.
Jason throws useless source of nicotine at his photo with black ribbon. The person who convicted him takes a couple of seconds to compare the vandal to the buried one.
Danny: Aw, shit, man. My bad, I didn’t mean to interrupt your break.
Jason’s eyebrow rises in surprise. From the outsider he expected more screaming and running. Not…apologies.
Jason: Yeah? Tell that to my favorite leather jacket. Now you can bury it next to me.
Bad Jason, bad. That’s not how normal people talk.
Danny: I’ll make amends. Tomorrow, okay? It’s my first working day. I’ve decided not to take my wallet. Need to find a safe route.
Jason: First day?
Danny: Yes, new cemetery guard here in the flesh. But I have not had time to meet all of inhabitants. Mistook you for a bad boy in a story. Well, it is your fault too! I understand you’re upset about death or maybe about the color of wreaths but please just put all the shit in the trash. I’m Danny, by the way.
Jason: Ha, I was wondering why there was no regular dude at work. Probably my neighbors drove him to a breakdown. He was an asshole, so no regrets.
Danny: Do you think so? Mrs Dent didn’t seem restless to me, she was quite nice.
The guy didn’t seem to catch the joke. Or was crazy. Why are all the hot people in Gotham are? Doesn’t matter. Why not try, right?
Jason: Don’t worry about the money. You can repay me with something else.
Danny: So you regenerates the suit? Cool. What do you want?
Jason: Um, I don’t get it, but… as compensation, I’m wanna have your number and one date.
Danny: Sure, why not.
Danny looks at the headstone.
Danny:Can you go outside the cemetery...Jason? The place is romantic, I agree, but where I grew up, it’s not customary to bring a mate at the place of rest until you meet parents.
Jason: Seriously? Cheesy horror movies didn’t teach you not to mess with zombies?
Danny: Well, I’ve never had a partner who was attracted to my brilliant brain. It must be pretty nice. And I don’t mind a couple of love bites, zombie boy.
Danny’s playfully batting his eyelashes. Jason can’t help laughing.
Danny: The less fair opinion among my friends is that I’m just brain-dead idiot. But I think they just don’t understand the benefits of adrenaline addiction, miserable humans. *pretends to wipe off a tear*
Jason *pretends to sniff*: Aw, hell, you really are a brainless doll, aren’t you?
Danny: Even so, it just means I’m perfectly safe.
Jason: Don’t think so. I want a piece of you.
Danny: Then don’t be afraid that the feeling is mutual. My teeth are also quite sharp. And when I’m haunting, it’s not easy to get rid of me.
The cheeky smile has given way to a serious look.
Danny: If we don’t get along, tell me right away, I’m not good at reading other people’s emotions.
~~~~~
Red Hood may be the son of the greatest detective but blinded by love Jason realizes that his boyfriend is quite dead only after a couple of months. He used to think Danny was a little…weird. Well, who in Gotham isn’t? It wasn't a problem. But during a funny fight about ignoring Danny in favor of a conversation with Tim , Fenton goes through him to grab his phone and then shouts that 'ghosting him is racist'.
Jason was delighted that he was able to hide his surprise. His boyfriend was too sweet, but sometimes insecure. Jay didn’t want Danny to start being cautious. Evidently, Honey thought from the first day that Jason knows. Let him keep it that way. Nothing has changed.
But now Danny’s promises to haunt Joker for the rest of his life if Jason wants it stopped being just super-hot flirt. So Jason need to make sure he doesn’t sic his darling poltergeist or whoever Danny is on someone. Even if it sounds good.
~~~~~Family dinner~~~~~
Dick: How did you two meet?
Jason: That’s a great story. My brave man beat the vandal who was messing with my grave.
Bruce: What? Who dared?
Danny: Jason, stop. It’s embarrassing.
Jason: No~ My family needs to know that chivalry is dead. My hero. Jason can’t resist a kiss on the cheek.
Danny: Taking this opportunity, I want to thank you all. It means a lot that you accepted Jason even not fully alive.
Alfred: Nonsense. Of course we..He’s family, no matter what.
Danny: Until the death separates us. Even at a wedding, love is promised only for a while. In parenthood, they do not take any oath about it. You’d be surprised how little past relationships can mean to people and how easy it is to hate what we are.
Danny: Damn, I ruined the mood, didn’t I? Sorry.
~~~~~
Jason: B, with all due respect, back off. You should ask Constantine how to help Danny if his family becomes a problem. Don’t mark my babe as a problem.
Bruce: I asked. And he laughed at me and said that you are the one who need protection. not him. Your Fenton is dangerous. Ghosts of such power only emerge in cataclysms after a large burst of energy or reach this level after centuries of battles or cannibalism and battles.
Jason: Seriously, old man? My boyfriend’s not gonna eat me. I’m not Red riding hood and he’s clearly not pretending to be my grandmother.
~~~~~~
Danny: Hi, honey. what’s new?
Jason noted with satisfaction that Danny had eaten all the supplies he had prepared for him.
Jason: Nothing, but now I have an idea for great Halloween costumes for us. They are gonna drive the old man crazy.
Danny: Did you fight again? What is it this time?
Jason: Guess what, now B’s worried you want to bite off my dick or something.
Danny: First, eew, disgusting. Don’t talk about our intimate life with fucking Batman. Why would he think that? I like you whole.
Jason: Whore?
Danny: Idiot.They don’t even sound alike.
Jason: Just admit that I am an eye candy and kiss me already. I need a break from the madness of my family.
~~~~~
Later Danny blackmails Constantine for information about the interrogation from Batman.
Then he sends a short message to the group chat : Tell the future father-in-law that while Jason can cook, he is safe from me.
The chat explodes from questions of Batclan to Bruce. Jay has great brothers and sisters. Danny knew their chaotic energy could be relied upon.
~~~~~
In the morning Jason yells at Tim. Why the hell did Replacement put "Friends For Dinner" from The Land Before Time as his alarm melody?
~~~~~
Bruce *is suspicious of the ghosts at the wedding*.
GhostWriter: Do not think that we like it. The boy is involved in his own version of Twilight. Oh Ancients, I hope the Ancients don't know about it.
Clockwork aka one of Ancients: Come on, that’s sweet. And story will have a happy ending. I guarantee.
~~~~~
Jason's in a date simulator with no chance of losing when everyone thinks he’s in a horror game. Is Danny dangerous? Yeah. Did he hunt when they first met? Who knows. The main thing in the middle of the conversation Danny realised he found a creature with a similar sense of humor. So that made Jason 10 out of 10 aka soulmate and he would kill for him.
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ro-is-struggling · 1 year
Text
Slow Hands || Spencer Reid x Reader
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Summary: Spencer gets tired of pretending he doesn't notice the way you look at his hands, so when you show up at his hotel room late at night he decides to ask you about it.
Warnings: SMUT MINORS DNI, porn without plot, hand kink, size kink kinda?, praise kink, Dom/sub dynamics (gentle dom Spencer x sub reader), dirty talk, pet names (good girl, baby, dirty little girl, slut), fingering, overstimulation, penetrative sex, choking, slight dacryphilia, a little fluff at the end, female reader, kinda rushed ending
English is not my first language
Word count: 6800
Notes: Spencer is a gentle dom and you can’t change my mind.
Also pictures aren't mine, I just put them together. I took them from this post (the one that inspired this fic) and also from this one so full credits to them!
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"Why do you always stare at my hands?" The question escaped Spencer's lips before he could stop it. You had come to his hotel room to discuss something about the case you were working on and the whole time you had been staring at his hands. 
It wasn't the first time you had done that, he had caught you staring at his hands in the past. It seemed that whatever he did with them you found interesting. He had never said anything to you because he honestly didn't know how to approach the subject without it sounding strange, but he was aware of what you were doing. The same way he knew you didn't admire anyone else's hands the same way you admired his, something that sparked a warmth inside him.
Spencer was pretty sure he knew why you looked at his hands so much, but he wanted to hear you say it.
"Oh," you mumbled in embarrassment, startled at being caught. "I don't know, I think they're pretty." You shrugged, looking everywhere but at Spencer. "I like hands."
"You like hands?" He repeated, looking at you with a raised eyebrow.
"I know it sounds weird but it's not! Some people notice someone's smile first or maybe their eyes or laugh, I tend to notice people's hands." It was a half-truth. Yes, you used to pay more attention to people's hands than most, but that wasn't the real reason for your inability to take your eyes off his hands. But since you couldn't admit that you dreamed every night of feeling the touch of his long, slender fingers on your skin, you thought that explanation would satisfy his curiosity and save you from the humiliation of the truth.
"Why do you like my hands so much?" Spencer insisted and you struggled to stop your mind before it got lost in the endless fantasies involving his hands that haunted you at night when you were alone in your bed.
"I don't know. They're pretty, I guess." You tried to downplay it, hoping that would be enough to ease his curiosity.
"Pretty how?" Spencer asked you and when you looked up to meet his eyes you saw a dark glint in them. He was up to something, you could see it in the innocent little smile plastered on his lips. He was pushing you to give him an answer for a special reason that you didn't know, but you assumed it couldn't be anything good for you.
Your brain was screaming at you not to take the bait, that it was dangerous and stupid. The smartest thing to do would be to find an excuse to go back to your room, where you would be safe from Spencer and his tricks. But you had never been that smart. Curiosity got the better of you, so you ignored your brain and took the bait.
"Well, for starters, your hands are big." You spoke in the most casual tone possible, trying to hide your embarrassment and excitement as you took one of his hands between yours to compare sizes.
You rarely had the opportunity to hold Spencer's hand, so feeling the warmth of his palm against yours awakened a wave of electricity that coursed down your spine. You swallowed hard, struggling to control yourself as you admired the difference in size between your hands. Even though you had long nails you weren't able to shorten the difference in length between his fingers and yours, Spencer's still stood tall against yours, which barely touched the middle phalanx of his fingers. You thought it was impossible, but his hand seemed even larger when compared to yours. 
"And that's a good thing?" His soft, low voice shook you awake from your trance, lifting your gaze to look at him for a moment before returning your focus to his hands.
"Yes, especially for a guy," you said, trying to act natural under his intense gaze. "But you also have beautiful fingers. They're long and slender... perfectly balanced with the size of your palm." Your fingers traced his as you spoke, delicately caressing the skin of his hand with your fingertips. You could feel his eyes on you, following your every move. If you kept quiet you could hear his deep breathing quicken a little more with each caress you gave him, just like your heartbeat. 
Spencer knew what kind of ideas the size of his fingers sparked in your imagination and he would be lying if he said he didn't have the same fantasies from time to time. It was actually embarrassing how many times he had masturbated imagining having his fingers buried deep in the warmth of your core —you moaning his name and begging him for more while he used his expert fingers to make you feel pleasure in a way no other man had ever done. 
"But I also like the veins in the back of your hand." Your voice brought him out of his thoughts just in time, a few more seconds lost in his fantasies and his pants were going to start feeling a little tight. "I like the way the veins mark on your skin." Your fingers traced the lines on the back of his hand, following the paths that led up his arm, where the rolled up sleeve of his shirt prevented you from continuing.
Your fingers lingered on his arm longer than necessary, taking the opportunity to memorize the texture of his skin, the warmth of his body and the way his closeness made you feel in case you never had the chance to touch him like that again. The room fell into complete silence as you shared an intimate moment, the only thing that could be heard was the sound of your slightly accelerated breathing. There was a tension in the air that you had never felt before being with Spencer, but you barely paid attention to it as you lost yourself in your fantasies, your mind finally surrendering to your wild imagination. 
But then the sound of a speeding car coming through the window distracted you from your thoughts. You pulled your hands away from Spencer quickly as you realized what you had done, ashamed of yourself for losing control like that. However, when you looked up to meet his eyes you didn't notice anything strange about them. He didn't seem to be bothered or uncomfortable by your behavior. No. You just saw that sparkle again, shining in his hazel eyes with increasing clarity. 
Spencer's gaze didn't leave you as he moved his hand closer to you. You remained frozen in place, holding your breath without even realizing it as you waited to see what he was scheming. His fingers took a lock of your hair that fell over your face, playing with it for a bit before he gently tucked it behind your ear. Your heart was beating faster and faster and your brain was working hard to decipher what Spencer was thinking. You enjoyed the attention you were getting from him, but your impatient nature needed to know where he was going with all this.
However, your brain was fried the moment Spencer's hand cupped your cheek. You even forgot how to breathe as you felt his long, slender fingers caress the skin of your face. You closed your eyes instinctively, leaning into his touch as you allowed yourself to get lost in the moment. The warmth of his hand awakened a tingling sensation that spread all over your face following the path of his fingers, from your cheek bone, down to your jaw, across your chin and up to your lips. It was ridiculous how he could have you melting under his touch with the simplest of caresses. He had so much power over you... and you liked it. 
You opened your eyes when you felt Spencer's thumb caress your lower lip. Your eyes met for a moment, feeling small under his intense gaze. He had never acted that way with you before, much less looked at you with the hunger reflected in his hazel orbs. And you liked it. You liked feeling small under his watchful eye. You liked feeling completely at his mercy. You liked knowing that he owned you even if he didn't realize it.
"I feel the same way about your lips," Spencer announced, staring at your mouth as his thumb continued his caresses, tracing the shape of your lips. "I love how soft they look, always tempting me to kiss them... especially when you stick your tongue out to wet them... or when you bite your lower lip when you're deep in thought. It takes all my willpower not to cross the room and kiss you right then and there." 
Spencer's voice was soft and seductive, the slightly deeper than normal tone going straight to your core, which tightened around nothing, desperate for attention. There was nothing dirty in his words —he was just declaring how much he wanted to kiss you— and yet you could feel the wetness beginning to stain your underwear. There was something about his voice, the way he was talking to you and the softness of his touch on your lips that felt highly erotic. Spencer seemed to know exactly what to say and what to do to have you at his mercy. He had you in a trance, frozen in place as you eagerly awaited his next move. There wasn't a single thought in your head, just him and your desire to feel his hands all over your body.
"And don't even get me started on those lipsticks you wear," he continued, applying a little more pressure on your lips as he dragged his thumb across them, smearing lipstick on the corners of your lips. "This one is my favorite."
You parted your lips to try to breathe. You were starting to feel lightheaded, unable to move or speak under Spencer's intense stare. You wanted to, god knew there were a lot of things you wanted to say to him at that moment, but you couldn't do it. Your brain was fried, your body vibrating with anticipation. Part of you still couldn't believe what was happening, so you thought it would be best to keep your mouth shut. You would let him guide you, show you what he wanted from you. You'd be lying if you said that wasn't exactly what you wanted.
Your thoughts were interrupted when you felt Spencer's thumb push into your mouth. You closed your lips around the digit without even thinking about it, your tongue caressing his skin in an act of pure instinct. Your mind didn't process what was happening until you heard him moan softly.
"Good girl," he praised you and you couldn't help but moan over his finger, pure pleasure vibrating throughout your body. "I always suspected that behind that strong, combative attitude of yours was hiding a good, obedient girl... I didn't even have to tell you to suck, you already knew what to do."
A wave of pleasure ran through your body at his words, feeling proud to hear him call you a good girl. That's all you ever wanted to be, his good girl, and now that you finally had the chance to prove it to him you weren't going to waste it. You sucked on his finger harder to show him how much you loved his compliments, hollowing out your cheeks as your tongue played with his digit wishing it was his cock instead.
"I’ve wanted this for so long, you have no idea," Spencer sighed. 
Oh but you did know. You knew exactly what he meant because you had wanted him for so long too. Every second you spent with him was torture, not only because you fantasized about feeling his hands on your body all the time, but also because you had to pretend you didn't in a room filled with skilled profilers. 
But there was no more of that. You didn't have to worry anymore because his hands were finally on your body and it felt even better than you had imagined.
"Will you be my good girl tonight?" Spencer asked you, his voice barely a whisper as he moved closer to you. 
You almost fainted when you felt his warm breath crash against your face, feeling even smaller under his gaze now that he was closer to you. When he removed his thumb from your mouth you had to bite your tongue to keep from letting out a whimper in protest. 
"Answer me!" he demanded in a firm but soft tone that managed to snap your brain out of its trance. 
"Yes," you rushed to say, maintaining eye contact with Spencer at all times. "I want to be your good girl, please."
You barely managed to get the words out before Spencer's lips crashed against yours in a kiss full of passion and desperation. You didn't even try to fight for dominance, surrendering to him without him having to ask. You let his lips guide yours, melting under the caresses of his tongue. His hands gripped each side of your face, using his hold to tilt your head so he could deepen the kiss. 
It was all happening so fast you barely had time to process it, your poor brain working hard to keep up with the torturous rhythm of Spencer's lips. The kiss was much rougher than you would have imagined from someone like him. He always looked so sweet and innocent it was hard to believe he had such a dark side. But you loved every second of it. You loved knowing that he had chosen to share that side with you. 
"Stand up," he ordered you as he pulled away from your lips. His kiss had left you a little stupid, so it took you a few seconds to process his words. But he didn't seem to mind. On the contrary, Spencer seemed proud of himself. He loved the effect he had on you as much as you did.
Spencer stood next to you, standing in front of you. You looked up into his eyes, patiently awaiting his next command. You lost yourself in the beautiful hazel color of his orbs for a moment, noticing a flash of his usual sweet, tender glow mixed in with all the desire and lust. That soothed the nerves that were beginning to form in your stomach from the anticipation, remembering that behind the darkness in his eyes was your Spencer, the one who always opened doors for you and brought you coffee without you asking him for it when you were stuck in the office late at night doing paperwork.
He took his time removing your clothes, his hands caressing and kissing every inch of skin he uncovered, showering you with compliments. He even knelt down in front of you to properly remove your shoes, pants and panties, taking the time to caress your calves and deposit a kiss on each of your thighs before rising back up. Spencer was tall, much taller than you. His figure towered over yours in an imposing way, but his soft and gentle touch helped you not to feel self-conscious in front of him, even when he was fully clothed and you were not. The gentleness with which he was treating you contrasted with the hardness of his kisses, but it was a change you gladly welcomed. Although it did make you wonder what he had planned for later.
"You're so beautiful," Spencer murmured against the skin of your neck, leaving a trail of wet kisses as his hands roamed your body. His fingers caressed your skin ever so gently, trailing up your arm all the way to your shoulder. He paused at your neck for a moment and a shiver ran down your spine as you imagined him closing his fingers over your throat, applying pressure until it was hard to breathe. But before you could put voice to your desires, his hand wandered down your back, fiddling with your bra before unclasping it.
"Spence, please." You begged in a whisper when you couldn't stand the anticipation any longer. As much as you enjoyed the attention of his hands on your body, you needed more. Much more. Your pussy was crying for attention, staining your underwear with your arousal.
Your broken voice went straight to Spencer's cock, your desperation was music to his ears, but he managed to keep his composure. He wanted to take his time with you. "What is it, baby? What do you want?" he asked in an almost condescending tone. He knew very well what you wanted, but he wanted to hear you say it.
“I want you,” you replied, not caring about how pathetic your voice sounded. You were desperate for some relief and were willing to do anything to get it. "I need you to touch me... to make me feel good."
Spencer didn't need to be told twice. He settled down on the bed again —his long legs stretched out on the comforter and his back resting against the bed frame— and gestured for you to sit on his lap. When you moved closer he turned you over, helping you to settle onto his body until you ended up sitting with your back against his chest. He used his legs to spread yours apart, opening them as wide as he could. You hated not being able to see his face easily, but the new position was exciting anyway. You could feel his hard cock twitching against your ass and had a privileged view of his hand as he slowly moved closer to where you needed it most.
"You're so wet already and I barely touched you," Spencer whispered against your ear, his breath brushing your skin as his fingers began to toy with your clit. "Is this all for me?"
"Y-yes,"you managed to mumble between ragged breaths, struggling to control the sounds of pleasure escaping your lips. You were in a hotel room and the rest of your co-workers were sleeping in the rooms next to yours. The last thing you wanted was to be discovered.
"No, don't hold back. I want to hear you moan. I want to know how good I'm making you feel." Spencer was desperate to hear you moan his name, it was all he had ever wanted from the first moment he saw you. He dreamed of your whimpers of pleasure, but they never felt real enough. His mind could never recreate the beautiful melody of your voice to perfection. But he could remember it forever if he could hear you.
Spencer increased the speed of his fingers and you weren't able to contain the moan that escaped your lips, nor the many others that followed. But even if you could, you wouldn't have done it because he wanted to hear you and his wishes were your command. Your body belonged to him in its entirety, you were his to do with you as he wished. 
"Good girl," he praised you, using his free hand to push your hair to the side so he could kiss and nibble on your neck. Each thing he did brought you a little closer to the edge. It was as if he had studied your body in preparation for this moment, as if he knew exactly what buttons to push to have you making a mess under his touch.
"Is this what you wanted?" Spencer growled against your ear, feeling his cock throbbing under the movements of your ass. Pure pleasure coursed through his veins as he listened to the whimpers escaping your lips. "Is this what you imagined every time you looked at my hands?"
"Yes! F-fuck, yes." Your voice came out in a broken moan, your brain fighting the haze of pleasure to form coherent sentences. Spencer was bringing you near climax in record time, you could feel the knot in your stomach getting tighter and tighter. You didn't know how he was doing it, but you didn't want him to ever stop. "I thought about having your fingers deep inside me all this time and, f-fuck, and how good they would feel reaching places mime can't... yes! Just like that."
As if Spencer was using your fantasies as a guide, he slipped his middle and ring fingers inside you. Your velvety walls received them gladly, clasping around them to keep them there forever. Just as you had imagined, his long fingers felt wonderful, filling you in a way yours could not, and they reached that spongy place inside you in a matter of seconds making you see stars every time they caressed it.
"Oh god, Spence it feels so good... please" you murmured between moans and heaving breaths, gripping onto your lover's arm for support. Your body was on fire, your mind lost in pleasure. It all felt like too much and not enough at the same time. You were desperate to find that sweet relief, moving your hips against Spencer's hand to reach your climax.
"You're gonna cum for me like the good girl you are?" He spoke against your neck, biting into your skin and drawing a moan of pleasure from you. "You're gonna cum all over my fingers?"
"Yes! Yes, please, I wanna cum so bad," you begged him on the verge of tears and Spencer couldn't help but growl against your skin. Knowing that he was capable of making you cry out in pleasure with his fingers alone awakened something primal in him. The desperate sounds escaping your lips were the hottest thing he had ever heard and suddenly it became his mission to keep you crying with pleasure for as long as he possibly could.
Spencer increased the rhythm of his fingers and applied pressure to your clit with his palm so each time he moved his hand you would receive twice as much stimulation. "C'mon baby, cum for me," he encouraged you and his permission was all you needed to collapse into his arms.
Wave after wave of pleasure coursed through your body, which was squirming under Spencer's skilled hands that kept fucking you through your orgasm. Your lungs were screaming for air, but it was impossible for you to catch your breath. The world around you became a blur for a moment and the only thing your pleasure clouded brain was able to process was Spencer's voice praising you as his hands caressed your body.
"That's it... that's my good girl." You smiled, enjoying his compliments as you tried to catch your breath. 
But then you felt the hand that was still in your pussy begin to move once more. They were slow thrusts of his fingers inside you, but it was still a lot for your abused cunt, too sensitive from the orgasm it had just had. Your hand clutched at his wrist to try to stop it, but as you opened your eyes and looked down you couldn't help but let out a moan. You were convinced that there was no more erotic sight than that of his veiny hand buried in your pussy, moving in and out of you, giving you a glimpse of his skin glistening with your arousal in the dim light of the room.
"One more," Spencer told you, tugging on your hair to force your head back so you could look at him. It was a little rough, but you loved it, the pain going straight to your center. "I want one more and then I'll fuck you."
"I can't... too much" you tried to say, but your body betrayed you. Your pussy was dripping with excitement, your walls clinging to Spencer's fingers with desperation. Your hips were moving to his rhythm, following his lead and not yours. Your body no longer responded to you, it no longer belonged to you. It now belonged to Spencer and if he wanted you to cum one more time then you would.
"You can, I know you can," he encouraged you in a soft voice that contrasted with the roughness of his movements. He kissed you, his lips pressing against yours with a desperation that took what little breath you still had, and you surrendered completely to him. You stopped fighting your body's urges, trusting that Spencer knew what was best for you. He always did.
"That's it, baby. Let go for me, c'mon. I want to feel you cum on my fingers one more time." His words went straight to your pussy, bringing you closer and closer to the edge. It wasn't long before you started to feel like it was too much. Your legs shook uncontrollably with pleasure, but when you tried to close them Spencer didn't let you, using his to keep you wide open for him.
"'S too much… too much… can't" you mumbled incoherently as you felt the pleasure take over your whole body. Tears of utter pleasure streamed down your cheeks, each movement of your lover's hand bringing you closer to the edge you weren't sure you'd be able to cross. 
"Shh you're okay, you're okay" he reassured you, showering his kisses all over your neck and shoulder as he used his free hand to hold you in place. "You can do it. C'mon, I got you."
You clung to Spencer's arm as you braced yourself for the explosion of pleasure that was coming, your nails digging little half moons into his porcelain skin. He held you in place as your body shook violently as your second orgasm hit you, enjoying the incoherent cries of pleasure escaping your lips as you soaked his fingers with your arousal. It was music to his ears, the sweetest melody he had ever heard. 
"That's it, such a good girl for me." He praised you, but you were too lost to process his words. Your mind was completely lost in a fog of pure bliss, the world around you forgotten as your body twitched with the aftershocks of your orgasm. You could barely breathe and you couldn't remember your own name, but a smile formed on your face. Those had been the best orgasms of your life and you hadn't even had Spencer inside you yet.
"There you are!" you heard him say next to you. When you opened your eyes you discovered that at some point he had moved you, and now you were lying on the bed with him staring at you at your side. "Are you okay?" 
His voice was soft as his fingers gently caressed your cheek. It was quite a change from the man who minutes before was demanding you cum on his fingers, but you liked it. He was more like the usual Spencer and that was what you needed at that moment as you recovered from the two most intense orgasms of your life.
"I'm fine," you assured him with an ecstatic smile. You really were. Spencer had demanded a lot from you, but in the best possible way.
"Do you want to stop? Just say the word and I'll let you go to sleep."
"What? No, please, I want to feel you inside me." You begged with glazed eyes and Spencer let out a chuckle.
"Are you sure you can handle it?" he asked, looking at you with a raised eyebrow and you nodded enthusiastically.
"Yes! Please, I want to make you feel good. I want to be your good girl."
Spencer silenced your pleas with a kiss, his lips caressing yours ever so gently. Unlike the previous times, when desire, passion and desperation prevailed, this kiss was slow and sensual. He was taking his time to enjoy the moment, memorizing every little detail of your lips and your reactions to the caresses of his tongue. He wanted to experience everything with you, the urgency of passion and desire, as well as the tenderness of such an intimate moment. He wanted it all with you.
When he pulled away you let out a whimper in protest, missing his warmth the moment he got out of bed. However your protests were silenced when you rose up on your elbows and discovered that he was undressing. Before that moment you didn't think it was possible that the image of a man loosening his tie and unbuttoning his shirt could be so erotic, but Spencer proved you wrong. Your mind raced wildly with the thought of everything he could do to you with that tie or the belt, which fell to the floor with a metallic clank as he peeled off the layers of clothing. 
Anticipation bubbled up inside you once again as you stared at Spencer crawling towards you, looking at you like an animal at its prey. He gave you one last slow, tender kiss before settling between your legs, taking his cock in his hands and stroking it a couple of times before lining it up with your entrance.
"You ready, baby?" he asked you one more time to make sure you were okay, his voice no more than a raspy whisper that awakened a new wave of arousal inside you.
"Yes, please."
He was gentle as he entered you, giving you time to adjust to the size of his member as he enjoyed the warmth of your velvety walls. You both let out a moan as he bottomed out, your pussy tightening around his cock as you felt him deep inside you.
"So tight and warm for me," Spencer growled in your ear as he began to move, slowly dragging his cock almost all the way out before slamming back inside you with a quick, punishing thrust. "Taking me so well."
It was clear from the erratic, desperate rhythm of his hips that Spencer wasn't going to last long. He was so worked up after having you wriggling on his cock as you came twice that he was already close to the edge. But he still tried his best to drag the moment out as long as he could, thoroughly enjoying the way you had surrendered to him completely. He hadn't even had to ask you, you had simply accepted your role, desperate to be his good girl just as he had imagined. 
"You look so pretty like this, making a mess on my cock as I fuck you stupid," he praised you as he noticed your moans increasing in volume and incoherence. He felt you tighten around his member, letting out a pathetic moan of pleasure as you increased the rhythm of your hips, which moved against his in search of your orgasm.
"Feels s-so good, Spence… please." A couple of tears escaped your eyes as you begged him for relief, awakening that primal desire deep inside him again. There was something so erotic about the way you were moaning for him, crying for his cock, begging him to bring you to your climax one more time. You looked completely ruined, mascara running down your face and lipstick smeared across your lips after so many kisses, and he was the cause of it all. He was the one you were moaning for. He was the one you cried for. He was the one you begged for more even though you were completely ruined. He was the one who was making you feel so good. He and only he. You belonged to him. 
"You want to cum again, huh?" Spencer spoke in a condescending tone as he increased the pace and roughness of his thrusts. "Two orgasms are not enough for my girl? Is that it?"
You tried to ignore the way it made you feel to hear him call you 'his girl', attributing the warm feeling that spread through your body to desire and arousal. Though deep down you knew there was something more pure and innocent behind your reaction.
"Please, don't stop. I'm so close, f-fuck." The pleasure was overwhelming, coursing through your entire body, consuming every cell of your being. Your vision was blurring again, the tight knot in your stomach threatening to snap at any moment.
Then Spencer lowered one of his hands to where your bodies joined as one, his fingers losing themselves in your wetness as they played with your clit. Your body began to twitch beneath his, your moans increasing in volume and quantity as you felt yourself getting closer and closer to the sweet relief. You reached out to him, grabbing his arm in an attempt to ground yourself, frightened by the force of the powerful orgasm that threatened to destroy you completely. 
"I know, baby, I know." Spencer comforted your incoherent cries of pleasure, feeling your whole body tighten around his to hold him in place. The warm walls of your cunt clenched around his throbbing cock with every movement he made. Your legs hooked around his hips, pulling him even closer against you, his cock reaching deeper inside you with each thrust. You were both so close to cumming, but he wanted to feel you come undone around him first.
"Just let go for me, I got you."
You moaned his name, appreciating the tenderness in his voice as he encouraged you to cum. But you needed more, something to push you over the edge. And you knew exactly what that was.
Loosening your grip on his arm, you guided him up your body to where you needed him. Your hand rested on top of his as you gently settled it on your exposed neck, closing your fingers —and his— over your throat in an attempt to make him understand what you wanted.
Spencer looked at you with a surprised look, but you could see that flash of darkness shining in his eyes that let you know he liked the idea as much as you did. "Are you sure?" he asked you to make sure you were both on the same page about it.
"Please," you begged him with glazed eyes and Spencer felt his cock throbbing inside your pussy, feeling his orgasm approaching. You were definitely the perfect woman for him.
He began by applying a little pressure to the sides of your throat, feeling your veins pumping blood under his fingers. His hand was so big that he could almost wrap it around your entire neck, giving him a sense of power that awakened a wave of pleasure that coursed through his entire body. Knowing that you trusted him enough to let him choke you gave him a strange sense of relief. He wasn't the only one.
But what really sealed the deal for him was hearing your strangled moans as he applied enough force to limit your breathing a bit. 
"You're such a dirty little girl... you like getting fucked like a slut, huh?" Spencer asked the question on purpose, knowing you weren't going to be able to respond other than incoherent sounds from both the pleasure you were feeling and the pressure he was putting on your throat. But he knew you loved it, he could feel it in the way you were clenching down on his member. 
"Cum for me, c'mon. I want to feel you making a mess on my cock." His command was all you needed to let yourself be consumed by pleasure, the combination of his dirty words, his punishing thrusts and the pressure he exerted on your throat finally pushing you over the edge. 
Your whole body trembled beneath his as wave after wave of pleasure coursed through every inch of your body. You felt like you were on fire, floating in pure bliss as you heard Spencer praising you in the distance.
"That's my good girl, doing such a great job for me." Spencer's movements became more erratic and sloppy as he chased his own orgasm. His grip on your neck softened, but you didn't let him move his hand from there, grabbing his wrist to hold him in place.
"Please Spence, I want you to fill me up... I want to feel you cum inside me, pleaseee," you begged him with what little strength you had left, trying to push him over the edge. You looked at him with half-closed, slightly unfocused eyes, completely lost in the pleasure that flooded your insides. It was the hottest image Spencer had ever seen. You were ruined, so fucked out that you could barely think, and he was the one to blame for that.
You whimpered from the overstimulation, the sweet sound of your raspy moans driving him over the edge. He came with a grunt of pleasure, emptying his load inside you. He painted your velvety walls with rope after rope of cum, enough that the pearly white liquid trickled down your thighs and onto the bed. Spencer earned one last moan from you as he pulled out of you, collapsing beside you as you both struggled to catch your breath.
"Are you okay?" he asked you as he regained the ability to form coherent sentences. He shifted his body towards you, rising up on his arm and resting his head in his palm so he could look at you. "I wasn't too rough, was I?"
"No, no. You were perfect." You were quick to say, opening your eyes and turning to face him. He had his soft, innocent expression back, looking at you with adoration as he analyzed your face to make sure you were telling the truth. If it weren't for the smell of sex that flooded the room you would find it hard to believe that he was the same man who had fucked you until you forgot your own name.
"Everything was perfect." You added with a satisfied smile on your face that he mimicked. 
A silence formed as you tried to process what had happened. Now that your mind was clear of the fog of desire and passion that blocked your thinking you realized the position you had put yourselves in. You were friends and co-workers and at the time you had no way of knowing how this slip-up was going to affect both relationships. You figured you would have time to sort it out, but for now you needed to get out of there before you fell asleep and the rest of the team discovered you leaving the same room in the morning. So you carefully got up, holding onto the bed frame until your legs got used to supporting the weight of your body again, and looked for your clothes that had been left behind, scattered on the floor of the room.
"What are you doing?" Spencer asked, watching you struggle to put your underwear back on.
"Putting my clothes back on?" you replied as if it were obvious, grabbing your shirt off the floor. "I need it. Unless you want me to walk down the hallway naked I-"
"Stay," he interrupted you, grabbing your hand to force you to stop. "Please." He sounded so soft and vulnerable that there was no way you could say no, even though you knew it was a terrible idea.
“What about the team?”
“We can wake up a little earlier so you can sneak back to your room.”
You weren't fully convinced. There were a lot of things that could go wrong —what if you were called away in the middle of the night? how would you explain that you were not in your room but in Spencer's room sleeping with him if one of your co-workers knocked on your door before you got back?—, but Spencer kissed you and all concerns left your system. You let the soft movement of his lips quiet the voices in your head, surrendering to his charms once again.
"C'mon, let's get you cleaned up so we can go to sleep." He whispered against your lips, giving you one last short kiss before guiding you to the shower. You let him take care of you, allowing him to wash your hair and carefully massage the soap over your body, and in gratitude you did the same for him. The tenderness and intimacy of sharing a shower contrasted with the rough sex you had had, but you liked it. The same way you liked sleeping snuggled in his arms. He was your favorite pillow, the warmest and most comfortable blanket you had ever slept with. 
You were pretty sure you couldn't go back to normal after discovering how happy it made you feel to be surrounded in Spencer's arms, but you were okay with that. You had plenty of time to talk about your future in the morning. For now all you wanted to do was enjoy the moment, letting your lover's deep breaths lull you to sleep.
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daycourtofficial · 2 months
Text
Freaky Friday
Summary: based on this request - you and Azriel swap bodies, chaos ensues.
Warnings: allusions to sex.
Author’s note: this is just a silly goofy time for my silly goofy geese. Is this my best work? No. But it’s fun and goofy and who cares
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You wake with a groan, your muscles feeling incredibly stiff and heavy. You drag yourself to the bathroom, eyes half closed with sleep.
Everything feels wrong. Your body feels so, so heavy as you open the door to the bathroom. You run some water, splashing it on your face as some fae lights come on.
You sigh, the water making you feel a little more alert. You shut the water off, bracing your hands on the sink, thinking about the mission from yesterday.
It wasn’t this bad - you really didn’t have to do all that much. You and Azriel spoke to a witch for cauldron’s sake - it was more of a test of your mental sparring than anything.
You brace yourself against the sink, remembering the nasty cut on your face. Right now you can’t even feel it, but you should still check on it, make sure it’s healing properly.
You look into the mirror, prepared to see a nasty gash across your face.
Instead you’re met with hazel eyes, tan skin, and onyx hair that are not your own.
And you scream. A deep, bellowing scream.
A moment later the door is shoved open, someone’s body making direct contact with it.
Rhys comes running in, having grabbed a knife on his way in, prepared for any threat that lingers. His violet eyes scan the room, searching for anything that can make his brother scream like that.
You turn to face Rhys, the weight of Azriel’s wings bringing you down. You’re able to look him eye to eye, the height of difference between you and Azriel making Rhys seem much smaller than he used to.
“Az?” Rhys ask, “what’s wrong?”
“I’m not Azriel.”
Moments later you find yourself in Rhysand’s office, not sure what to do with yourself as you try to sit on the couch, the large wings behind you making it hard to sit comfortably.
You accidentally sit on the end of a wing, yelping at the sensation and get up, delicately holding the wing so you can sit.
“Tell me everything that happened on your mission,” Rhys said, and you did. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary and everything went fine.
The two of you looked at each other, and Rhys decides to call Azriel and Cassian into his office to see if he can figure out what happened.
-
Cassian pats you on the head as he walks past you, much like he always does. You were much shorter than everyone else, not as short as Amren, but still quite small comparatively.
Then again, Cassian hardly ever met anyone he could look in the eye and not have to crane his neck to make eye contact.
It was your thing - he patted your head, you swatted his hand away, but that was it.
Until this morning, when you whirled around and landed a punch right on his jaw, taking the moment of deflection to grab his arm and flip him onto the ground.
He held his jaw in his hand, your name on his tongue. “What the hell was that for?”
You looked down at him, but Rhys’s voice breaks through both of your minds.
Come to my office please.
-
Cassian laughed. And laughed. And laughed.
Then he looked at the two of you, and laughed some more. You two sat next to each other on the couch in Rhys’s office, but so unsure of how to hold yourselves. His brother looked unable to hold up his own wings, and you looked so lost and alone, likely due to the loss of the shadows.
Feyre had joined the impromptu meeting in Rhys’s office, where no one could figure out why this had happened. And Cassian was certainly not helping things.
“Look I’m just saying if I swapped bodies with someone I’d fuck myself.”
“Cassian,” Feyre hissed, nodding her head to the door.
“Okay, okay,” he says, walking towards it. “I’ll go.”
Cassian leaves the room, but his laugh can still be heard down the hallway.
“Are the two of you going to be okay?” Rhys asks, looking over the both of you. You shrug, knowing there’s not really anything else you can do, meanwhile Azriel nods.
The two of you were taken away from your duties for the time being, which was probably for the best seeing as how you have no idea how anyone manages to hold their wings off of the ground and walk at the same time.
You were going bonkers in Azriel’s body.The shadows had no idea you weren’t their master, so they kept telling you everything. You had no control over them, so a good portion of them kept wandering over to Azriel stuck in your body. Their presence seemed to soothe him, and you wonder just how alone he feels without them.
You could hardly walk without dropping the massive wings behind you on the floor, so you mostly opted to stayed seated or lying down for the rest of the afternoon, staying in the library trying to figure out how you woke up in Azriel’s body.
You walk past Nesta on your way to dinner, the hulking mass you’re carrying around needing much more food than you were used to. You had the house give you an ungodsly amount of food during the afternoon, from snacks to fruits to nuts. You go to walk by, unaccustomed to the new body and slam into her, apologizing profusely.
She looks you up and down smirking, and you realize that everyone likely found this situation much funnier than you did.
Azriel came up to dinner not long after you did, and Cassian began making fun of you two again. Nyx turned to his mom, clearly confused about his Uncle Cassian’s jokes, when she explains to Nyx that the two of you had swapped bodies.
Nyx clapped his hands, the little princeling quite pleased with this turn of events.
“My wish came true!”
Everyone stops what they’re doing, utensils clattering on plates.
“Er what wish, sweetheart?” Feyre asks, her full attention on her son.
“I wanted them to switch bodies!”
Cassian bursts out laughing, throwing his head back as Nesta swats him on the chest.
Rhys is trying not to laugh at the predicament his son has created as he asks, “and why is that, Nyx?”
Nyx looks at you as Azriel and says, “she told me she wanted wings like Uncle Az’s so when we went to the fountain I wished she could do it!”
Cassian looks at Mor, asking, “so wishes actually come true from that fountain?”
After dinner you find yourself standing next to Cassian, looking him in the eye. You never realized that Azriel was a few inches shorter than Cassian. Cassian looked at you, watching as you move around, unable to stand still and he knows it’s you and not his brother.
“What are you doing, sweetheart?”
Nothing brought Cassian more joy than calling the shadowsinger ‘sweetheart’.
“It’s odd being this tall. I can look you in the eye just standing straight.”
The shadows dart around you two, constantly whispering to you. You would be able to understand them if it weren’t for just how many of them were trying to talk to you.
You swat at them, but even more come back to you, some hitting you in the face.
Cassian laughs, clearly amused at this entire situation. Feyre had taken Nyx back to the fountain to make another wish right after dinner, a wish that everyone go back to their original bodies, but the rest of you were left to wait.
You head into Azriel’s room, leaving Cassian and his teasing remarks behind. You leave Azriel’s bedroom door open just a crack so he can slip in moments later, still in your body.
You run your hands through your hair - his hair, the length reminds you. You look at yourself, not used to this arrangement.
“So uh, this should wear off at some point, right?”
“Right.”
“This is erm weird.”
“Yes, yes it is.” Azriel says, leaning back on his bed. The air in the room shifts, and a sickly sweet smell overtakes the room.
You gasp, hitting Azriel’s - your - leg, “Az, we are stuck in each other’s bodies and you’re getting horny.”
He moves up to you, sitting in your lap. “I can’t help it - it’s your body. You’re so needy.”
His legs straddle your lap, and as he sits down he lets out a quiet moan. You lean closer to him, smelling him, “oh gods, you reek of sex!”
A light blush coats his - your - cheeks, and he responds, “well if I’m stuck in your body, might as well enjoy the company.”
You roll your eyes at him and he starts grinding on your lap, “okay, I-I get it now why you like this so much.”
You laugh at him, as you begin to feel your own arousal in a way that is new.
The two of you spend the night tangled in Azriel’s sheets, exploring this jewel reality you’ve found yourselves in.
-
You woke up in your own body, thank the mother, and the two of you go to Rhys’s office to find Rhys, Feyre and Cassian already in there.
They all peer at you, the unspoken question in their gazes.
You beam at them, “I am myself again.”
Azriel huffs, “I’m glad I can actually reach things again.”
You pout, hitting him on the arm, “hey, it could have been worse. You could have been stuck in some ugly person’s body.”
“Yeah, like Cassian.”
You two chuckle as Cassian’s face gets an irritated look on it.
You and Azriel leave the room, and Feyre turns to Cassian.
“Do you think they had sex last night?”
Rhys turns to Feyre, “there is no way they didn’t. They’ve been sneaking around for months.”
Feyre gasps, “no they have not!”
The two bicker back and forth over whether or not the two of you have been hooking up, and Cassian is uncharacteristically quiet.
“Did you hear anything, Cass?”
Cassian is brought back to the present, telling them he hadn’t heard anything. Truthfully, he knew you two were sneaking around, but he kept it to himself, worried the teasing might mess things up for you two.
You and Az skip off down the hall, both of you going into your room to explore all the things you found out about each other, and Cassian laughs lightly to himself, thinking about all the ways he’ll tease the two of you.
But that’s for another day. Another day when he feels like his brother’s insecurities won’t eat him alive. Another day when his brother will feel like he deserves you.
Another day.
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adhbabey · 8 months
Text
Let's talk about some lesser known symptoms of autism! Maybe this will help some of you get a broader perspective on what this can be like. There is a whole grab bag of symptoms of autism, but here are some ones you may not know that you have.
Focus on truth
What does this mean? Well glad you asked. This is the focus on facts and logic rather than anything else. People have shown this as autistic people may refusing to lie because it goes against what they find as true. But that's not always the case.
Have you ever used logic to try and figure out your emotions?
Are you someone who doesn't understand why others may speculate when the current knowledge is right there? (such as subtext versus canon knowledge or theoretical arguments)
Do you find it frustrating when others avoid their problems as a way to avoid figuring out negative things? (such as avoiding conflict in a friend group)
Is it easy for you to talk about your strengths and flaws? Do you know your likes, dislikes and limits pretty well?
High context communication
This is preference on details and the full context of any situation. Often going into great detail and backstory to anything.
Do you feel as though you need to overexplain to give the person everything they need to know?
Have you ever apologized to someone by explaining the deep and meaningful reasons of why you did it, before you said you were sorry? And maybe even felt upset or confused why they reacted badly?
Have you ever felt stressed out because you wanted to give others full detail but they either interrupted you or cut you off?
Are you stressed out by people who tell you what to do and not why they want you to do it?
Are you ever told that you talk back a lot?
Do you prefer recipes versus verbal/vague instructions? (All the things that you need such as ingredients, measurements, prep time, etc.)
Do you really like watching deep dives and knowing about the whole history of something you're even vaguely interested in?
Identity diffusion
This is not everyone's experience, and it is common in a variety of other disorders such as DID and BPD. However, it is when you do not know who you are in regards to others. This is also known as identity disturbance.
Have you ever felt like an outsider without knowing why?
Are you deeply interested on what other people think of you? Especially if it's all the time?
Do you really like taking personality tests and quizzes? Are you interested in horoscopes?
Do you feel like you don't fit in any one specific group? Either being a loner, or hopping in between many different groups?
Do you ever feel weirder than the "weird kids" group? Do you not really get along or feel like you belong with them?
Do you have low self esteem when it comes to comparing yourself to your friends? Do you feel like they're better or more capable than you?
Do you feel drastically unimportant and not as interesting or cool as everyone else?
Have you ever related to narratives surrounding a character that is the last of their kind?
Do you feel like your identity is a vast and gaping void, that even if you learn a little bit, that you'll never know everything?
Internalized repetition
This is one of those traits that not every autistic person experiences, but that some might. You could say that for all autistic traits, but hey, good to know regardless. Because of internalized repetition, you may not do many external stims, besides vocal.
Do you listen to a song over and over again? Perhaps having a playlist on repeat?
When stressed out, do you type the same word or phrase over and over again?
Do you like looking at the same things, such as the same color or the same artist's works?
Do you really like certain patterns, crystals or aesthetics?
Do you enjoy games with recognizable fighting patterns? (Such as character rotation, boss battle rotation, etc.)
Struggling to connect to others *
This is something that's been characterized by struggling to connect to others through their emotions, but the opposite is actually true for many autistic people. *I will be talking about those who struggle to connect to others who are emotionally distant or unavailable. Being emotionally distant or not showing emotions externally is a trait that many autistic people share, but for those without alexithymia, they may struggle to understand why anyone wouldn't like to talk about their emotions. I don't know the specific symptom term for this, so please bare with me. If anyone would like to inform me about what this is called, please tell me.
Do you struggle to talk with dry texters, or tend to over-examine people's tone through text?
Do you have anxious attachment?
Do you feel disconnected with many other autistic people and struggle to make friends or talk to them?
Do you feel embarrassment or shame with being emotionally sensitive?
Have you fallen down the rabbit hole of things like starseeds, star children or empaths?
Do you want to talk about serious emotions a lot, even when its not appropriate?
Do you trauma dump or wish people would become more emotionally intimate with you? Do you enjoy it when people share their deep traumas with you, even if it's triggering?
Are you constantly reassurance seeking?
There is plenty more symptoms out there, and these are just a few that stood out to me, because I think I may be autistic. I've always related somewhat, but never connected the dots. But there are reasons for that, such as identity diffusion and thinking I'm different from everyone else no matter what. I struggled because I didn't seem to have a lot of the outward and visible symptoms that were often talked about. I thought every autistic person had alexithymia, when that's just not true. My best friend, who has similar symptoms to me, along with another close friend of mine, have a similar presentation of autism. And it's taken quite a bit for me to accept or process. I feel like I'm faking my experiences just because I've self diagnosed before. And I'm angry that ADHD isn't given enough significance.
But I think I might be autistic, and this article that I based this post off of, confirmed it. So here's my post informing and coming out on that. You can be autistic and highly masking without actually knowing what's going on is masking. You can be autistic and have a spectrum of verbality, you can be autistic and struggle to connect to anyone who isn't immediately emotionally intimate with you. You can be autistic and not relate at all to other autistic people.
You're not alone.
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headkiss · 1 year
Note
anna <3 honey <3 hiii <3 i have a request if you’re up for it?
inspired by your latest shy!reader x eddie fic where it’s her first day at hawkins high— shy!reader being all heart eyes for eddie who pretty much worships the ground she walks on but somehow is oblivious to her feelings even though he flirts constantly just to see her get flustered. he doesn’t notice she’s only all sweet and giggly and nervous around him, though. she’s generally extremely shy so eddie figures that’s why, but it’s truly because she’s head over heels for him 🥹 a cutesy friends to lovers
harmonia my love !!! thank u sm for requesting i hope u like it this one’s for u <333 (the other shy!reader blurb) | 0.7k of fluff and shy!reader
You walk the unfamiliar halls in search of your next class. So far, unsuccessfully.
There’s a debate in your head: is it more embarrassing to be late to your class because you couldn’t find it, or to ask for directions like you’re a tourist in a new city?
You figure that embarrassing yourself in front of a class full of people is much, much worse than just one person. The next part is just figuring out who to ask.
Deciding to avoid any groups (even looking at them makes your heartbeat jump a little), you scan the hall for anyone that looks approachable.
For some reason, you land on the boy with long, dark curls and a tattoo of bats on his forearm. Yeah, super approachable. He’s alone, leaning next to what you’re guessing is his open locker.
You force your feet to carry you towards him.
“Sorry, could you maybe tell me where English is?”
“Wha- oh.” Eddie turns around to find you, a face he's never seen—a pretty one, at that—talking to him of all people. “Hi. Yeah, why don’t I walk you?”
“You don’t have to do that.”
Your voice is soft, quiet enough that Eddie probably wouldn’t have heard you if he wasn’t so focused on listening.
“Who’s your teacher?” You tell him, and he smiles, “me too. See, I’m going there anyway. It’s no problem.”
It’s then that you’re hit with the realization of how attractive he is. His eyes and the lashes that frame them, the smile that’s extra sweet compared to his style, the guitar pick that hangs from a chain around his neck.
The best you can do then is nod, untucking your hair from behind your ears to try and hide your face.
“So, why’d you move to Hawkins?” He asks, shutting his locker and nodding for you to follow him.
“Um, for my mom’s work.”
“Yeah? Do you like it here?”
“It’s different.”
You stick to short answers, not because you don’t want to give him better ones, but because you’re terrified of doing something you’ll kick yourself over for days.
“That’s one way of putting it,” he says, sending you a wink.
You laugh softly, a girlish giggle. It’s music to his ears, and he plans to draw the sound from you again and again.
You nod, looking down at your feet in the silence that follows, unsure how to fill the gaps. In your distraction, you bump shoulders with someone. A boy, probably an athlete, because it’s enough to knock you into Eddie.
He holds your upper arm gently to steady you, his hand warm, his rings cool.
“Sorry,” you say quickly.
“Don’t worry ‘bout it. You okay?”
“Oh, I’m fine.”
Despite your answer he keeps his hand where it is. He’s not dragging you along, nor is his hold tight. It’s so soft that you peek down at your shoes again to hide the look on your face.
Eddie thinks he might have dreamt you up. You in your sweet dress and mary-janes. You with a small smile he wants to see widen. He thinks you’re adorable, and he plans to keep talking if only to make you cutely flustered again.
He drops his hand from your arm when you make it to the door of your classroom to hold an arm out welcoming you inside. You miss the warmth of it.
You sit down at the back of the class, in the corner closest to the windows, hoping it’s not somebody else’s spot.
Eddie follows you and sits atop of your desk until the bell rings.
The teacher walks in and seems to notice Eddie’s presence right away, “Munson, what are you doing in my class?”
“I thought you had this class?” You whisper. He sends you a wink in return.
“Just visiting, sir,” he says, standing up and letting the attention fall on him. He can tell you’d be uncomfortable if it was on you more than it already is as a new student. Besides, he’s used to it, even if it’s usually in a negative way.
“Get to your own class, won't you?”
Eddie salutes, strolling to the door seemingly without a care at all. You watch him the whole time, and just before he turns the corner, he looks over his shoulder and smiles at you.
Did he really lie about being in your class just so you’d let him walk you? You sink down in your chair and smile at your desk.
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bloodywankers · 15 days
Text
Trigger Warning! Implied Non-con! Forced Relationship! Yandere Husband!
Unedited | 1.26k Words
Andre was always rational, never unnecessarily cruel or emotional. That was the worst part about him, he was cold, left you feeling touch starved and alone even in his embrace. He was strict, he wouldn’t tolerate deviation from his routine or attempts to ruin the perfect image he had built for you but he wasn’t cruel. At the end of the day it felt like you only had yourself to blame for your misfortune. He wouldn’t criticise you for no reason but that meant that the instances where he did, he was probably right. He wouldn’t scream or yell but in turn left you feeling like a disobedient child.
His affection left much to be desired but you blame yourself for it rather than him, because Andre was perfect. He always remembered anniversaries and birthdays, never letting you want for anything but you had always felt so alone. There was an emptiness that he couldn’t fill no matter what he did because Andre was an actor.
Nothing about Andre was genuine because a character with no flaws is no character at all. He seemed above your childish tantrums and far too sophisticated to enjoy simpler things, lived in a world that was perfectly tailor made for him. But you weren’t Andre, you weren’t logical, or perfect, your acting was subpar at best and you didn’t fit into his world. You were emotional and living in his cold world devoid of any warmth was not something you could tolerate so despite every well planned argument he placed in front of you, you stood your ground.
“I want a divorce.” You tried your best to keep a firm tone, you were sure he would take advantage of any hesitation that you showed.
“Darling, as I’ve said already, I—.” He spoke softly, as always, interrupting you with his finely built arguments, ones that you were sure would work in any other situation. Arguments that you could reason with if you had not been as fed up as you were, filled with unadulterated hatred for the man you were supposed to love. This time you were set on getting what you wanted, you were sick of feeling like this.
“I don’t care for whatever bullshit reason you have this time, I feel miserable every day I spend with you!” You probably could have gone through with this in a more elegant manner but you were at your limit. Andre had always been rational but you couldn’t understand him this time. You were sure he wouldn’t have trouble remarrying someone better, it’s not like you lived in the Middle Ages where divorce meant your life was over. It probably wouldn’t affect his image much. So why was he so hell-bent on keeping you stuck in a relationship where both of you would be miserable?
You expected another well balanced counter argument, maybe a comment about how foul your behaviour was, how unbecoming it was. But instead he stood there, a look you had never seen before and a scowl that seemed so out of place compared to his usual poker face. You instinctively sunk into yourself, trying to avoid what you thought was his attempt at reaching for you, what for you? You didn’t want to find out. But instead he walked past you, stormed out despite still maintaining his obnoxiously elegant posture.
You thought it would blow over, that he would come back and pretend nothing happened, he didn’t seem like the type to acknowledge such arguments. But he didn’t return at his usual time, and instead you found all the exits to your house locked and your set of keys missing.
When your husband did return, he didn’t go to your shared bedroom as usual, instead went straight for his office, you just barely caught him. Slamming the door to his study shut before you said anything else.
“What the hell is your problem?! Where are my keys?! If you’re going to act like this at least let me leave!”
”You will do no such thing.” That’s it. No reason, no explanation as to why he decided on this, just a singular order. You had started to back up, this was unlike Andre. The atmosphere in the room had changed.
“And why is that? Who do you think you are to decide for me?!”
Andre himself didn’t understand. The logical thing, the right thing to do would be to let you go quietly, to not put up a fuss and part ways. He didn’t have any love in him when he chose you as his marriage partner (before you had ever officially met him), you were just the right choice, at the right place, at the right time and with the right background. It wasn’t him who was drawn to you out of all other potential candidates, you were just the best choice. He has a good memory, that’s why he remembered your birthday, and your wedding anniversary. It would look bad if he didn’t buy you the best present money could buy.
Sharing a bed was necessary for any married couple, not because he searched for your warmth, desperately clinging to it every night, whether intentionally or not.
He took off his glasses and rubbed his nose bridge, brows furrowed as he came to the realisation. Love? He had come to love you? Has he always felt this way? For someone who boasted a memory as excellent as his, he couldn’t remember when it started. But there was no denying what this was, it was love, an obsessive love that ate at his insides every moment he kept trying to contain it.
If he told you that, you would understand, wouldn’t you? You’d forgive his past sorry attempts at being a good husband and give him a chance to prove himself, wouldn’t you? After all, you’ve always been understanding, despite your recent outbursts, you would try to understand him.
“Darling, let’s try to calm down.” That’s not what he wanted to say, he wanted to say he loved you, to scream it until his voice gave out but it wouldn’t come out, this in turn only irked you more. You looked ready to leave, too annoyed to even continue talking to him. He couldn’t have that, he’d beg if you wanted so please don’t leave.
Well, if he couldn’t tell you, he’d show you. After all, actions speak louder than words. So he grabbed your wrist before you could drift further from him and dragged you to your shared bedroom, ignoring all cries and protests from you. He made sure to lock the door behind him, you looked like you were ready to bolt out the door the moment he let go of you.
“You-! What are you doing, unlock the door now!” However, your protests seem to fall on deaf ears once more.
“You asked why I wouldn’t let you go? I’ll show you why.”
Andre had never been unreasonable or cruel but that night you realised he was as flawed as anyone else, as dirty as any other and as cruel as he could want to be. You realise how much you miss his distant and unfamiliar self, before you got to know him in so many different ways.
How unfamiliar he looked to you as he kissed you in places he didn’t dare to touch before, as his smile resembled that of a madman and his eyes reflected pure euphoria.
Your husband had always been unreasonable and cruel, you just never knew.
Masterlist
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theblueseassoul · 3 months
Text
“Sick.”
Zayne x Reader.
Love and deep space fanfiction.
No use of Y/n. Read in the second person. Gender neutral reader. Brief Mention of vomit.
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It had been a long couple of days for you. You’d been working non stop, as part of the alpha squad in the hunters association you dealt with a majority of the much harsher Wanderers. Due to working so much, you had caught a bit of a cold, and were sent home, given as much time as you needed to completely recover. Zayne was told almost immediately, of course. As your doctor and one of the people closest to you, he was bound to know eventually. And so here you were, curled up on the couch with a blanket in your house clothes. And there he was, standing in the kitchen and making you tea. You shifted, back against the arm of your couch, and watched him. His back was facing you, but you could already imagined his focused face, brows furrowed and lips slightly taut.
“Your eyes are burning holes through my skull.” He suddenly said, turning his head to meet your apparently intense gaze. You’d zoned out, blinking rapidly at him, and you caught the curl of his lips and the amusement glitter in his eyes. “What are you thinking about?” He asked, picking up the mug that you’d bought as a souvenir at one of the aquariums, it had little seals plastered over it. Somehow, it had become the go-to mug for you, and Zayne always got that one first when he made you something to drink. The dark haired doctor approached you, placing your mug in your outstretched hands.
You shrugged, “Nothing, really.” You looked at the mug in your hands and blew softly at the hot tea. “Don’t you have work today?” You asked him, shifting and sitting criss-cross as you sipped the tea, still burning your tongue despite your caution. Zayne chuckled softly at the cringe your face twisted into, and shook his head in amusement as he often did at your actions. “Not today. I shouldn’t be too busy when I do, but I trust when I’m not here you will take care of yourself.” He always snuck in a lecture about your health. Though it was well placed now, as you sat there, sniffling and breathing in the steam rising from your tea to clear your sinuses.
“Awh. Taking a day off just for me?” You teased. Though you were sick that would not stop you from picking at him, and he knew that too well. His lips curled into a slight half smile and he leaned back into the couch “I find myself doing that often. Something’s always wrong with you.” He said light heartedly. It took a long time for you to start to recognize his sarcasm and sweet jokes, because his voice was not as expressive as others were. Monotone, steady, it rarely ever changed, and you often compared him to a robot because of it. You let out a soft scoff “you don’t have to come and take care of me, you know. I’m perfectly capable of doing all of this myself.” You told him.
He hummed in reply and glanced at you, eyes glistening in the light coming through the window across the room. You always did admire his eyes, the golden centers circling his pupils. You noticed his pupils always seemed to dilate around you. You didn’t know why but you felt special because of it anyways. “You’re capable, but you don’t do it. I need linkons best hunter healthy and taken care of. Who else will protect me from wanderers, hm?” He said playfully, leaning towards you, shoulder brushing against yours. You unconsciously leaned into him and smiled, not sarcastically but a genuine, softer smile. One he always managed to draw out of you; even when you were in the sourest of moods. “I did promise, didn’t I?” He nodded at your words and tilted his head towards your cup “You did. So drink up. We’ll have food soon, and then you’re having your medication.” There it was once more, Doctor Zayne and his schedules he had made for you. He didn’t take no for an answer either, you learned that the hard way.
Having someone like him was comforting. He knew you so well, and he cared for you. Enough to take the day off to spend it with you, while you were stuck at home, sick. Infact he came over last night as well, midnight, you were sick to your stomach leaned over the toilet and he knelt down beside you, one hand keeping everything out of your way and the other carefully running up and down your back, comforting you. You couldn’t make out the words he muttered but they helped. He even sat you on the counter and gently washed the remainder from your mouth, and made you something you could keep down before bed. He’d left after that, but he came back after sometime before noon.
“You’re staring again.” Zayne stated as he finished off his tea, setting his mug down and looking at you with a raised brow. “Something on my face?” He asked. You shook your head, newfound tenderness engulfing you as you leaned in closer to him, and out of instinct he had wrapped an arm around you. “Thank you.” You murmured, and he furrowed his brows in confusion “for what?”
“Being here.” You replied, shrugging. “You’re always there for me even when I don’t ask you to be. You’ve looked after me for so long. I.. I don’t think I could ever put into words how much I appreciate you doing this.” You said softly, looking up at him. He seemed to freeze, however recovered quickly and said with the same amount of tenderness “we look after each other. That’s what we do. Now hurry. Finish your tea.” He gently leaned his head against yours, and you could feel the smile spreading over his lips. You smiled and nodded, complying. He truly was the best. You wondered if his heart raced and softened the same way yours did when you saw him, when you sat with him like this. But as you leaned into his chest to listen to his heart beat as you so frequently did, you answered your own question.
It did. You wouldn’t tell him that though. It was your little victory. It had you grinning all evening, and he teased you for it.
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psychwxrdd · 3 months
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i can't stop thinking about rafe being all head over heels for kook! reader and she doesn't give a damn about him and loves jj 😭 could be a dark rafe too omg
You.
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(gif is not mine!)
🎀 - 18+, dark! rafe x kook! reader, jj x reader, stalker! rafe, possessive! rafe, obsessive! rafe (tbh i feel like it's all just normal rafe lmao) blackmail, gaslighting, gun use, smut, rafe is really unhinged, dub con. work and college are draining the life out of me so i didn't had time to see if there's any mistake :(( already apologizing for anything babes
rafe loses his shit when he finds out you're dating jj.
It wasn't fucking fair. A filthy pogue getting his way to your pants and your heart? When he tried to have you his whole life? He was furious.
Rafe's mind was a mess, thoughts racing, bad thoughts. He wanted to kill someone, take his anger out in any way... How could you do this to him?
You both knew each other since childhood, and Rafe is in love with you ever since. Some hook ups here and there, but nothing serious, just for one night stand. You were the one he always loved, always pictured when he had anyone else on his arms, he loved you so much it phisically hurted him. You were trully the most beautiful thing he ever laid his eyes on, and that would never change. No one could compare to you in the slightest.
Of course, he wasn't the only one. As if it wasn't enough that you're just the most gorgeous girl to ever exist, you're also sweet, funny, kind, smart... Always being nice to everyone, making friends everywhere. You were even friends with the ones from the dirty side of the island. Who could ever resist you?
But Rafe was also so cocky, even with your constant polite rejections, he knew who he was. He thought you would eventually throw yourself on his arms, he had so many ideas in mind. He always thought that in the end, you would be his girl, and you would both be the kook king and queen, that he would work while you're his little sweet housewife, waiting for him with open arms (and legs) at home. He spent hours thinking about you, about how much he wanted to carry you on his arms, just hug and kiss you, hold your hands. He would die for a simple touch. He wanted to know about your thoughts, things you never told anyone before... He wanted you to be his princess, his doll, only his forever.
He was always showing up at your work - even being a kook and not needing the money, you wanted responsability. As kids, he would always follow you everywhere in school, and being the tough guy he always was, little rafe would be all other boys bully, if he saw they talking about you being their crush. Always rushing to pair up with you in class. Really clingy, but he always made you laugh. Rafe would always tell his parents and everyone that you would be his wife one day, but at the time, it was just cute.
As teenagers, he started to ask you out on dates, asking if you wanted to go to prom with him, or if you could kiss him as a "birthday gift". And thats when you first broke his heart with "I only see you as a friend." But Rafe wasn't one to give up easily.
Always doing everything to show you how no other boy could ever be better than him. He was from the richest family in Outer Banks, he could afford anything you wanted. He always gave you expensive gifts, anything you said you wanted, he would buy it. He wanted to impress you all the time, but it was meaningless to you. None of that could buy your heart, and that started to annoy you, but as you were always too nice to everyone and didn't knew how to say no or push people away, you simply was quiet about how uncomfortable that felt.
And now, as young adults, things only got worse. He was extremely pushy, or as he would say, proactive. Everyone knew better than to mess with him, it was no surprise that he was trouble, but as he grew up, he also grew to be more and more mentally ill.
Now, he just happened to find out you and JJ were officially together.
What a fucking slut. What a fucking ungrateful whore. He loved you first, you were his first! How could you love that stupid pogue instead? What does JJ have that he doesn't? He is way better, he could give you the world if you asked.
Rafe wouldn't take this shit, not now. He was tired of this. You were supposed to be his girl, that is how it will be, and now it no longer matter for him if you want it or not.
He sniffed the rest of the coke and went to his dirt bike, on his way to your house, not much far from his.
"Hey, Rafe" you said in a soft tone. His heart melted at the scene, he was mad, but boy does he love you. The minute you opened your door he could smell your sweet, heavenly scent. You looked just like an angel, he wanted nothing more than to just stare at you like a fool, a sight for sore eyes. But he had to do this.
"You fine?" Rafe asked, a cold tone.
"Yeah...Is everything ok? You need something?"
He sighed and looked down, licking his lips. You could see he was nervous. "Is anyone home?"
You frowned slightly at his question. Why did he wanted to know that?
"No, my parents are out for tonight."
As you were about to ask him why, he was quick to cover your mouth and drag you inside, shutting the door behind you. Your eyes were wide.
"Calm down, okay? I won-...i'm not gonna hurt you... okay?" He said, still manhandling you, while caressing your hair and placing it behind your ears. He gave your forehead a kiss.
"I have a problem, and i want to solve it tonight" he said closer to your ear, and he could see the fear in your eyes. That sight and being that close to you was enough to make him almost cum on his pants. "I don't think you wanna date that Maybank guy. He's gonna put you in trouble, and i don't wanna see you in dangerous...I love you too much for that, princess. I - i can't just watch you ruin your life and do nothing about it!"
Tears fell from your eyes. Rafe talking about someone else being troubled? That was a joke itself.
"And...I need you to know that" His own eyes were tearing up now "That i much rather kill myself than see you with him."
You froze at him. You tap his hands, trying to let him know that you wanted to say something, but he didn't cared.
He put his hands on his pocket, and you were now a crying mess. His gun were now so close to your body, closer than you would ever want to stand from a gun.
You started to scream his name beneath his hand and thats when he let go of your mouth. "Rafe, please, lets talk about it!" you sounded desperated.
"Talk about what, y/n? Huh? My whole life, i have fucking loved you my whole life, and now you wanna talk? Bullshit" He shouted, his face red from anger. But his eyes were still full of tears.
"I- i...Rafe, please...I can..." You were lost, completely, what you were supposed to do? Break up with the one you loved to avoid someone's death? And then dating him instead? This was so fucked up. You felt like you would faint at any second.
He pointed the gun to his head, and thats when you acted from pure despair.
Almost jumping against him and giving him a hard kiss. His eyes went wide, but it didn't took long for him to kiss you back, much harder. He almost moaned at the feeling. Something he wanted so bad, for so long. You.
The expression on his face was almost like he was having an orgasm. He held you tightly, so tight you thought he would break at least one bone. As horrible as the whole situation was, he was a good kisser, you hated that you even thought that. But it was true.
Maybe it was just a survival instinct, but the way he knew how to kiss and hold you really turned you on.
You broke the kiss, quickly, and held his face. "Please, put the gun on the floor, Rafe"
His eyes were shining... He wouldn't deny you anything now. He placed on the floor.
"I will break up with JJ...ok?" You said, your voice breaking at how much your own words hurted you. It was so sick, you loved him more than anything. You couldn't imagine your life without him. Would he ever forgive you? You were sure that he wouldn't.
More and more tears felt from your eyes, while Rafe was smilling hard like a kid. "You don't know how much i waited for this, doll. But i want to make sure you're really gonna do this."
You were rolling your eyes, moaning as loud as it was possible, while Rafe was fucking you hard in missionary. He was so deep inside you, you felt like cumming harder than ever. But you didn't really wanted this, tho your body was enjoying it a lot. Your heart felt broken.
"Hi babe, you ok?" JJ asked on the phone, and hearing his voice made you cry again. You were now a mix of crying and moans. "Whats going on sweetheart? You're crying? Whats it?"
Rafe held your phone with a sick smile on his face, he couldn't control his groans as he held your neck with other hand. Finally being able to fuck you after so long... You had to reward him. You had to let him cum inside you, fuck you for hours, use you for how long he wanted. For all the countless times he jerked off thinking about you, all the times he fucked someone else picturing you instead. This was fucking paradise for him. He was sure you would end this night either pregnant, or with your whole pink girly room full with his cum everywhere.
"What the fuck is this?" JJ yelled, and you couldn't bring yourself to say anything, so Rafe did instead.
"She is dumping your ass, pogue. She is mine now."
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