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holocene-sims · 2 years

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june 12, 2021 10:15 a.m. three lakes state park

[grant] thank you for inviting me out here, by the way. i pinky promise that knowing you don’t like fishing doesn’t change my opinion on coming out here with you.

[joseph] so why do you come out here?

[grant] i like spending time with you, first of all. i could care less what i do when i'm with you, i'd still enjoy it all the same. i mean, we could just watch paint dry and i feel like we could make that very entertaining.

[grant] plus i always kinda associate going fishing with you and uncle paddy getting me away from, uh, you know, the whole childhood abuse thing, so it’s relaxing. even if i hate fishing, it has a very powerful weird little psychological effect on me and it makes me feel very calm. it’s the same feeling i tend to get when i'm at your house.

[grant] and right now...that’s what i need. i like the feeling of being taken back to a nice place in my childhood. it feels good for the soul, i guess.

[joseph] you’ll be okay, you know? i believe in you.

[grant] i know. thank you. i have my moments and the moments have been terrible but i'm too stubborn to give up. things feel a little hopeless right now but i've been through worse. besides, i got some really solid advice in therapy yesterday.

[grant] and yes, there’s been a lot more in my head than just the whole relationship situation.

[joseph] i figured.

[joseph] you’re free to tell me about them, if you’d like. i know we all had a big talk last night but the door is always open for another one.

[grant] well, i kind of feel a little lost all around. i had my life pretty together and i was also quite happy for a long time. not that i didn’t have any issues ever because of course i did. but the last year has kind of blown everything open again. things were super stable but now i feel like i'm starting over a second time in life and i don’t know where to go from here. it's like being back where i was when i got out of college and was trying to get sober and lose the desire to die.

[grant] i never really got over the mess of last year. i mean, it started with health stuff and i was miserable and bedridden all year, then i had to leave my job and i'll probably never get the chance to go back. so i tried out air traffic control and hated it because, you know, i went into the industry to be a pilot, not to sit at a desk and get yelled at by them over things i can't control. and then after that, i stupidly signed up for grad school after i quit because i felt like it would be my best chance to find another decent paying job again. but i dropped out literally yesterday because i don’t know, it just doesn’t feel right. especially when it was dependent on the agreement that päivi would make the income for us while i did it. she’s gone, so i have to make money eventually again. i don't want to spend it on something i don't care much about anymore.

[grant] being in a relationship and planning for a wedding and the future and having a new house to work on gave me focus and made me happy. now all that stuff is gone. i mean, i still have the house but i don’t want to be there. i bought it so päivi and i could have a future and somewhere to call our own. it makes me nauseous to be in there right now.

[joseph] i understand. life takes the floor out from underneath you sometimes and when it’s gone, you can’t help but be confused. of course you feel lost, like you have no idea which direction to go.

[grant] i do not know what to do. i don’t. i had what i wanted and it’s literally all gone. the only thing i didn’t have back then was living at home and, well, here i am. i’m back in michigan, sans everything else.

[joseph] how set are you with money?

[grant] i mean, i'm fine for now. i guess i'm honestly super privileged in that way. i never had school debt because i got a full scholarship for college, then the money that was originally for elizabeth’s college fund was signed over to me by my dad and i used that for flight school. first and last nice deed he and my mom ever did for me. i didn’t even pay very much in rent ever because at least when i lived in los angeles, i split the money three ways with alex and lilly, so i paid just a couple hundred dollars and pocketed all the rest of my salary and saved it. i bought the house with cash, so no mortgage, and i don't have any car payments because obviously, i own your old car.

[grant] so i still have a decent amount in savings but, like, i don’t want to blow it all, especially when i'm paying a ridiculous amount on medical bills. it was bad when i had insurance but now i'm paying out of pocket for my meds. you don't want to know how much they cost.

[joseph] how long could you go without income, though?

[grant] just depends how i use it. i don’t spend a lot and i never have, but i took your advice and made up an amount of money i don’t want my bank account to go under. so if i want to abide by that at least semi-closely, well, i don’t know, i guess i would be okay for at least a few months. i don’t have a lot of expenses so i can survive for a bit and also not have to radically change my life. all i pay for is like medical stuff and then phone, internet, food...the basics.

[grant] although i really do not want to be that ‘child of rich parents’ who can just vibe and coast by on savings. that’s embarrassing. humiliating. i feel like scum not working.

[joseph] may i offer you a different perspective?

[grant] absolutely.

[joseph] i know what you mean by saying that but i guarantee you are not the same as those rich kids. you’ve worked hard your entire life and you’ve been dedicated to every job you’ve ever had. you’re not a freeloader. and listen, grant, you’ve had a difficult life. if anyone deserves a few months or a year to rest and reset and prepare again for the future, it’s you. if you have the financial ability to stick it out and be patient in deciding your options, you should take the opportunity.

[joseph] and you know why else you should consider it? because that’s what your grandmother and i worked our fingers to the bone for our entire lives for. that's why we came to this country. we did it not for ourselves but for our kids and our grandkids and whoever else can benefit from our labor. that’s what our parents did, too. you come from a long line of folks who grew up dirt poor and barely scraped by with grueling manual labor or working two to three jobs each. we all did it because we had to so as not to starve...but we also all did it so each generation could live an easier life than we did.

[joseph] our labor sent your mother to medical school partially, helped financed your aunt and uncle to get started in life, and finally let your grandmother and i pursue a passion with opening the bakery. if all that work means this family can do what they want, it’s worth it. so if you want the time off to figure things out, you’d get no judgment from us. in fact, it’d make us happy. we want you all to live the comfortable life we never got to taste until we were old and "retired" and finally free. you having financial privilege is good, in my opinion. it’s not really a bad thing in my eyes unless you’re a capitalist bastard...and well, you aren’t, are you?

[grant] great points. and no, sir. i do not own the means of production and i am as anti-capitalist as the folks who raised me. i am a proud self-actualized member of the proletariat. and by the the people who raised me, i mean you and maimeó. definitely not my parents.

[grant] by the way, i thought my mom stole the money from you for school? or is that just a rumor? i always heard rumblings about it but never asked for obvious reasons.

[joseph] oh lord, that’s a long story. don't even remind me or get me started. we gave her a bit of money for tuition, at least what we could afford to part with, but yes, she did steal from us.

[joseph] and no, i don’t even regret it. i don’t regret it because her medical school provided you and your sisters with the only good thing she could ever manage to do and that was get rich. am i furious still that she ruined our savings fund? yes, but i have to acknowledge it was partially our fault.

[grant] wait, how could it ever be your fault? the bitch stole from you!

[joseph] if you really want to know, it’s because we kept a lot of our savings in an envelope in your grandmother’s jewelry lock box back in the day. i guess we had an outdated distrust of banking and i guess your mother somehow knew about the envelope. she took every dollar out of it and never looked back. never apologized either.

[joseph] we should have disowned her the moment we found out. we wanted to at first and maybe that's cruel, but…

[grant] it’s probably better you didn’t. in hindsight, i guess. not throwing her out meant you were still around when i was born. had i been all alone with no other family, i would not have survived. sorry, that's selfish to think about myself. no, i'm really, terribly sorry. that's fucked she stole from you. you worked hard for that money. i'm not surprised she did something like that but geez. sure, let me thank my parents who worked two jobs each their entire lives to provide for me by stealing their hard-earned cash. you didn't deserve for her to treat you like that...and i know that's not the only thing she's done.

[joseph] it's not selfish. i agree with you. those are exactly my thoughts. if you’ve ever wondered why we never did disown her, not until your graduation night when everything went down, it’s because we knew she’d take you all and run off and we’d never see you again. i'm not happy we had to keep her around in our life. it was painful but the pain was worth it to keep you kids near us. we felt like we couldn't back out until you were all grown and safely independent. it's sad we had to play her game but we didn't know how else to fix things. maybe there was a better way. but we tried our best. we tried.

[grant] oh, no, i totally understand. you had to play her game at least a little bit. and honestly, i'm thankful for that because you’re right, she would have run off with us. and anything else you could have done to stop her, she would have found her way out of. she found her way out of trouble when you sued her over custody, didn't she? but it doesn't matter anymore because we all disowned her in the end. fuck her. that's enough talking about her, though.

[joseph] now how do you know about us taking her to court? no, never mind. i agree with you, we don’t need to waste our precious time on her. but hey, listen, i was going to ask. is there not any way you could go back to your old job?

#ts4 #the sims 4 #sims 4 #sims 4 story #ts4 screenshots #simblr #hlcn: everything the stars promised #backstory backstory backstoryyyyy #holocene.docx #holocene.png #hlcn: grant #hlcn: joseph

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thediaryofemilyoko · 1 year

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This is a stream of consciousness written this morning detailing my struggle with internalized fatphobia. I am being honest with myself about this in my quest for feeling body neutrality someday. This is your trigger warning.

I want to be okay with my body.

I want my husband to be okay with my body. I know okay is a term of mediocrity. I want to be wanted more than anything in the world. I feel my body is difficult to love. My face no longer has its sharp features from my youth and I feel ashamed. I feel I am always taking up too much space. I read comments on the internet from men who say looking at a body like mine makes them nauseous. I am stuck in this body and stuck on the receiving end of cruelty for it, including the cruelty of my own brain. The fact that my body is a lot of people’s worst nightmare for themselves is disheartening. My skinny friends do not understand and maybe that is good that they cannot relate to this pain. It hurts me to hear that they are worried about gaining weight. I feel there is no good way for me to eat but I know not eating will also do harm. I hate ascribing morality to food and I hate that I am viewed as a less moral person because of my body. My bosses make comments about my body and the food I eat often. My husband does not seem to like my body. I am not a person that is lusted after and I wish I didn’t care. I just looked down and noticed those white stripes on my belly that I hadn’t seen before, which tell me I must have gained more weight somehow even though I’m eating less. I am eating less and it doesn’t matter. I feel like I don’t matter. I wonder if people don’t like to be seen with me. I wonder if my husband doesn’t want to be seen with me. I used to feel awkward visiting him at work because I thought I might embarrass him. I have to live in this body as it is now and I feel like I will never escape this pain. It hurts knowing my mom would go into debt to get that surgery done on me because how I look matters more to her than how I feel. I want to feel sexy but I can’t anymore. I just want my husband to want me. I don’t care about compliments from strange men on the internet. I want to feel okay existing in public. I hate being perceived and yet it’s all I want. I want to be seen in a good way. I want someone to be happy to see me. I want to be more than okay, I want to be someone’s idea of beautiful. I am not but I want to be, and ideally I want to be my husbands idea of beautiful. I am so tired. I am rejected often and it is eating away at me. I can’t eat anything without the awareness that my body will turn it into more fat and thus more judgment. No one has a crush on me. No one wants to see me naked. No one is wanting to see me clothed. I am unwelcome. I know that there is no future where I am thin again. I hate that I have these thoughts. I want to not care about anyone or anything. I know I am intellectualizing my feelings too much. I don’t know why I’m not allowed to love myself as I am. I read the comments too much. I am afraid that even my guy friends view me in a negative way because of my body and face. I don’t know why I am still so desperate for male attention. I know I am desperate for touch. Who would want to touch this body? Why is it such a bad thing? Surely this body is soft and squishy and that should be something nice to touch but I guess it’s not nice to look at. I want to be desired even if I can’t act on desire. I want to be wanted. I want someone to get hot thinking of me. I want way too much. Desire is the root of all suffering. All of this plagues me and then my personality seals my fate. Even the fetishizer men would probably not want me to open my mouth to say words.

#internalized fatphobia #stream of consciousness #mental health struggles #negative core beliefs #fatphobia

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sysig · 4 years

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Confident and Concerned all in one

#Doodles #Villainsona #Just Desserts #The eyes in the first one were fun #I can't think of a circumstance where they would actually happen but they were fun and that's what matters lol #I do like just how many moodshifts there are here lol #We go from fully confident and taking-of-nothing to ''Aw this song's lyrics aren't what I thought they were''#And then right back into disquieted lol #Those last two are based on something I'd heard and repeated to myself recently - unhelpfully but interesting #''You need some real problems'' - the idea that if you're obsessing over small issues trying to make a mountain out of a molehill etc.#That if you had a real problem to worry about - some actually pressing problem like homelessness or debt or anything like that #That you'd stop worrying about whatever small issue was bothering you #So I went and tested it - mentally lol - I thought of the ''small'' thing that had been giving me a high pulse and upset stomach #And I compared it to how I felt about not having seen my brother in six months because his parents are abusive (◕◡◕✿)#And wouldn't you know it I still feel nauseous thinking about the comparatively smaller problem #Isn't anxiety magical #So yeah if someone tells you that - take it into consideration about whatever it is that's upsetting you for sure and see if there's a fix #But if they're being high on a horse about it just...don't worry about it lol it's unhelpful advice #I do like how that second to last hand turned out lol

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elysianslove · 3 years

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Please wrote more surrogate fics please . could I request one with SakuAtsu or could you just start a series on these. If you'd me comfortable with that. That on IwaOi surrogate fic brought me so much joy. I can't even describe it.

oh my goodness i’d love to!!! it makes me so happy knowing you liked it cause like,,, idk why it’s just special to me :) also im so glad you asked for sakuatsu bc these two ships are basically my favorite jhfgbsj. and yesyes i’d love to have a mini series with like little scenarios of each ship <333

this was insanely long. like insanely.

content warning; artificial insemination, pregnancy, haikyuu manga spoilers, gay people being happy idk

being iwaoi’s surrogate

BEING SAKUATSU’S SURROGATE

↬ it took forever to even get them together, so with a duo as indecisive as them, it’s imaginable how long the decision to raise a child together took. it took a long, long while for that transition from enemies to lovers to be final, and even then, they hadn’t realized how serious their relationship was until they were off getting married and then suddenly wanting a child?

↬ it was something atsumu brought up out of the blue, just casually as they sat side by side on the couch. “wouldn’t it be nice if we raised a child together?” and it stuck with sakusa ever since. he didn’t know why he was obsessively thinking about it as much, but it’s all he could think about. literally. anytime he so much as thought about atsumu with a child, and a child of their own too, his stomach did a thousand and one flips. sakusa was never the biggest fan of children, and he knew that neither was atsumu. but, this would be different, wouldn’t it? Still, he tried to remind himself of the cons; they were pro-athletes, they didn’t have time, they didn’t understand the weight of the responsibility, were they even ready for something like that? somedays it was too tiring to take care of themselves, of each other. were they ready to be responsible for a whole life, someone dependent entirely on them? it seemed too— unrealistic. like something he could only hope to dream about, and just dream about.

↬ until he thought of atsumu with a little kid, a spit image of either one of them, sitting on his lap, giggling and laughing and squealing in glee. and so he decided, there will always be cons, he just has to see if the pros outweighed them. and honestly, they did. they were pro-athletes, sure, but that also meant they were financially stable, and could provide for a child, properly. they were mature now, knew each other very well, and had adapted to living with one another. they had family and friends all around. the kid would for sure grow up loved and cared for, and him and atsumu would add another person to their family. it really seemed like a dream, but this time, an attainable one.

↬ so as he ate dinner with his lover, he blurted out, “let’s raise a child together,” and atsumu honest to god choked on his food. he asked sakusa if he was serious, if he meant it, if this was real, and sakusa’s answer was yes to every single one of his question. yes, he was serious; yes, he meant it; yes, this was real. as real as can be.

↬ they both already knew they wanted a surrogate, and it didn’t matter who was the father. so long as the child was theirs.

↬ finding a surrogate was, well, a pain, to put it into perspective. sakusa was so picky about the “requirements,” if you will, and atsumu was suspicious of every single woman, it was kind of ridiculous really. he just “didn’t trust that they wouldn’t run away with the baby!” in his words. atsumu suggested sakusa’s older sister, which seemed perfect in his head, but sakusa refused, claiming it was 1. extremely weird, and 2. he doubted she’d say yes, with her own life to handle.

↬ and it finally, finally, came to atsumu: he could always just ask, well, you. he had met you during his college years, and since then, he’d been coincidentally crossing paths with you ever since then, and you’d even managed their msby jackals team at some point. it was weirdly ironic how he’s coming back to you, kind of like fate.

↬ so he suggested it to sakusa, and for once, the latter didn’t really have any way to object, except, “what if this inconveniences her?” other than that, you were the perfect candidate. they knew you well, trusted you, knew they could rely on you. and atsumu was sure you wouldn’t run with the baby. with regards to the inconvenience part, well, they could always just deal with that when the time came.

↬ they invited you over for some breakfast two days later, after they’d thought about it properly, endlessly, and figured you were their best option. it was weird seeing them so nervous when you first arrived, like they were breaking up with you or something. atsumu barely ate with how nauseous he felt, and sakusa spent the entire time watching you eat instead, hands fidgeting and legs shaking. it was really weird, but you didn’t bring it up, letting them take their own time to tell you whatever it was they wanted to tell you, because obviously, they clearly had something to say.

↬ after breakfast, you sat in their living room, just watching the tv quietly, until sakusa offered to get you some water. you weren’t really thirsty, but you agreed anyways, unsurprised to see atsumu rise from his own seat a minute later with a, “be right back,” as he headed to the kitchen. you could hear them bickering and whisper-yelling, and if you weren’t starting to grow as nervous as they were, you would’ve had it in you to laugh. they returned looking like they were bearing the most daunting of news, sitting down on the couch perpendicular to you. atsumu’s hands were sweaty and intertwined tightly together, while sakusa tried to remain as composed as possible. it seemed like the dark haired man would speak up, finally, parting his mouth with a deep breath.

↬ but it’s atsumu that blurts out, “please have my baby!— our baby. please have our baby.”

↬ honestly, your first response was to laugh, in disbelief, as you clutch your glass of water. but then you see their faces — god they looked so goddamn scared — and you realized that, they were really serious. they really wanted you to carry their baby for them. holy shit?—

↬ you were mostly speechless after that, stuttering as you ask them to please explain, you’re honored but are they are, have they thought about this? properly? in depth?

↬ to your surprise, they really knew what they were doing. they’d done their research, and thought about a million other options before deciding that you were the best one. they also repeatedly told you that you didn’t have to do this, and that they didn’t want to guilt-trip you into doing it either. they wanted you to say yes only if you yourself wanted to say yes, and if this wouldn’t negatively affect you or halt your life in any way. you were the one that was going to be carrying the baby anyways, weren’t you? at the end of the day, this was all about you.

↬ you asked them for time to think about it, and reminded them that it wasn’t a no. you just wanted to make sure you were making the right decision whichever that ended up being. a few days later, you call them, asking them to meet up one way or another, and atsumu’s even more nervous than he was asking you; not even sakusa’s gentle lips to his temple or large hands soothingly rubbing at his back or his kind words could help him. sakusa himself was insanely anxious. in his head, it seemed like your ‘no,’ would finalize everything. that it would really mean no hope in having a child of their own, their very own.

↬ you invite them over to your home, and the kettle is already boiling when they arrive. you make them tea and make small talk if only to delay the inevitable. but, to each of their surprises, you take a deep breath and say, “i’d be honored to carry your baby for you,” with the brightest, warmest smile. sakusa has to bite his inner cheek to will himself to not cry, because he can’t believe you said yes. you agreed. you’re going to carry their baby. him and atsumu were having a baby.

↬ atsumu doesn’t stop himself from throwing his arms around you, collapsing on top of you in tight hug that you kind of can’t breathe, but you let him, and you laugh when he thanks you for saying yes, that he’ll “be forever in your debt.”

↬ it’s the happiest you’ve seen either of them.

↬ when you’re done with the process of insemination (of course, atsumu does joke that the three of you should go the natural way and have a threesome, to which he earns a smack from his lover and a smack from you, at the same time), the three of you just have to wait, really. it’s the longest period of waiting you’ve ever had to do, but you try to be patient, as patient as you can be. when you wake up one morning and throw up, you look at your period tracking app to see if maybe you were pms’ing. except, you weren’t. you were late. like a good three weeks late.

↬ immediately, you’re booking a doctor’s appointment. you wait to tell sakusa and atsumu after confirming your suspicions, because you don’t want to raise their hopes up for nothing. they’ve already been swimming in a pool of doubts ever since the insemination, calling you everyday to check up on you and ask for any progress. when the doctor confirms your pregnancy — holy shit you were pregnant — the first thing you do is go over to their house. you know it’s not the best idea to show up unannounced, but with how long they’ve been waiting, and how much they’ve been wanting this, the more and more you fed into it, you couldn’t wait any longer to tell them. you arrive, and the moment sakusa opens the door for you, you gasp out, “i’m pregnant.”

↬ sakusa’s quite literally frozen in shock, his mouth pressed in a thin line with eyes wide open, while atsumu walks over and goes, “oh hey,” in greeting before noticing sakusa’s face and just ???? “what’s going on?”

↬ “i’m pregnant.”

↬ “you’re what?”

↬ you show them with tears stinging your eyes the results of the test you’d taken at the doctor’s, and atsumu grips the report so tightly, like it’ll disappear if it slips only slightly from his hands. sakusa’s still in shock, trying to process everything. it takes him a good while before he can function properly again.

↬ the pregnancy itself is a lot smoother than you’d imagined. iwaizumi, as their athletic trainer, although not well versed with pregnancy, knew a lot about health and taking care of yourself in general, so he made sure you were always eating right and healthy. he even accompanied you once when sakusa and atsumu couldn’t, to the doctor, and made sure to ask him specifically what you should and shouldn’t be eating. all of the olympic/national team are more excited than anything. they’re insanely protective over you, and always pamper and care for you you when they can, whether that be back/neck/shoulder massages or giving you their food when they notice you eyeing it or letting you lean entirely on any of them for support as you walk. granted, they do make fun of you, especially the bigger your stomach got, but they mean well, really. suna once made fun of you and, because of the hormones, and because he was genuinely just mean, you started to cry. since then, suna swore off bullying you, at least until you gave birth.

↬ osamu is beyond ecstatic to become an uncle. he’s so excited it makes atsumu incredibly emotional. he goes with his brother on trips to ikea to buy a crib and gifts him an insane amount of baby clothes and always begins a conversation with, “how’s the baby?” every time you’re around, osamu’s hand can be found resting on your stomach, soothingly rubbing, excitedly grinning when he feels a kick. he is just so happy for his brother, he could cry.

↬ you ask them if they want a gender reveal when you find out or to keep it until the delivery of the baby, but they’re both insanely impatient (even though sakusa does try to convince atsumu to wait because it’ll be exciting, he himself isn’t even that convinced of that and they just ask you to tell them). with the help of osamu and his and atsumu’s parents, you organize a gender reveal party. the moment he sees the pink smoke, atsumu cheers so loudly it makes you laugh till your stomach hurt. sakusa’s grinning wider than you’ve ever seen him, grabbing atsumu’s face and kissing him, before pulling you into a tight hug. it’s literally the cutest thing ever, everyone just cheering loudly around you and celebrating with you.

↬ when you go into labor, you’re with neither of them, but with osamu, aran, and kita. they were staying the night at a hotel since they had training away from where they lived, and you were spending the night at osamu’s because the fathers of your baby really didn’t want you to be alone so close to your due date, and who better than osamu? your water didn’t break, but you kept having contractions. you were brushing it off as normal pain at the start, but they started to get worse, and closer together in time. kita, because he’s kita, had been keeping track, and told you how far apart your contractions were. to which you went, “contractions?!”

↬ aran’s calling sakusa and atsumu as kita grabs your bag as osamu grabs his keys and helps you to his car. you really couldn’t have been around a better set of men, because they were perfectly composed the whole time, helping you breathe and stay calm by staying calm themselves, reassuring you that you didn’t need to worry and that you will get to the hospital in time. they did flinch every time you screamed or cried out in pain, but aran held your hand the entire drive there, and kita guided you to steadying yourself as osamu drove as fast as he could.

↬ the issue was with sakusa and atsumu. to say they were freaking out would be an understatement. they were positively losing it. atsumu’s anxiety was louder than sakusa’s, but the latter’s was clear as ever on his pale skin and clammy hands. they were so annoying in the delivery room, literally faring worse off than you, who was pushing a whole baby out of her body. when you finally gave birth to a healthy baby girl, atsumu sobbed and sakusa cried in his hands, so maybe it was alright after all.

↬ they literally couldn’t believe their eyes when the nurse handed you the baby and placed her on your chest. she was so, so tiny, so beautiful, and theirs. honestly, you couldn’t hold back your own tears at the sight of her, and at their reaction to her. you held her in your arms as they thanked you, over and over and over again, for the biggest blessing they could ever receive.

↬ despite the fact that you were simply their surrogate, sakusa and atsumu knew they couldn’t just separate you and your baby, and neither could they just take her home all of a sudden. so for the first few months, you stayed in their guest room, but the baby slept in her own room. it was more difficult than you expected it to be when you were leaving her to go back to your own home, but they promised you repeatedly that they’re not really taking her away. it wasn’t as if you couldn’t visit at any time you wanted to come visit her. but at the end of the day, you knew what you had been signing up for, and that she was their daughter.

↬ she grows up to be a gorgeous woman. she’s interested in volleyball, sure, she’d been raised with volleyball players everywhere around her, but it’s not her immediate passion. atsumu thought he’d be more upset about that than he actually was, because he found out that it didn’t matter at all what she wanted to do. hell, if she wanted to do nothing at all and stay home forever with them, he was 100% on board with that. whatever made her happy and healthy, he was okay with. she grows up to be really close and really comfortable with both of her fathers, and they make sure with every passing day that no matter what, she can always come to them. and she does, about every little thing. and each and every time, they listen and advice and guide her properly. a s parents, they’re a perfect balance of strict and lenient. they set and raise her to never cross those boundaries, but otherwise they give her complete freedom. they respect her privacy, her decisions, everything.

↬ there was a day when she came back home from school, and they had taken a biology class for kids, where a teacher had explained periods to them. obviously, as curious as ever, she’d asked her dads about it, because she didn’t really get it. she wanted to know the how’s and the why’s and the what’s and the when’s. with every passing second atsumu had felt his lifespan shorten. eventually he suggested they call you, who she knew as her ‘aunt’ for the time being, since you were a woman and nobody would really explain it better than you. when she did get her period eventually, and had to sheepishly and shyly ask her dads to go to the store for her because she needed, um, supplies, atsumu lost it. sakusa had to try and calm him down all while laughing as he got ready to go to the store for her, because the drama of miya atsumu never gets old. he just couldn’t believe she was already getting her period. what the hell! what the actual hell!

↬ of course, he proceeded to embarrass her by telling osamu, telling sakusa’s parents, telling his parents. not cool :(

↬ when she was old enough, especially to understand the concept of being a surrogate (oh my god the sex talk was a whole other insufferable thing), they told her about you, and that you were actually her biological mother and not just an ‘auntie.’ she tried to be angry at them for keeping it from her, but she was honestly more excited about finding out than anything. it brought the two of you closer together, and for the next mother’s day, she organized a whole brunch for you, her and her dads, got you a gift, flowers, everything. yeah, you did cry.

↬ you genuinely have never been more satisfied and thankful for a decision like this one, ever, especially because of how much of a blessing the outcome had been.

can u tell this isn’t my first time thinking about this. ever since i posted the iwaoi one i’ve been wanting to do a sakuatsu one, but i didn’t really know whether anyone had enjoyed that or would want more, so thank you for sending in this ask!! love u all mwah <3

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu headcanons #miya atsumu x reader #sakusa x reader #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #atsumu x sakusa #sakuatsu #sakuatsu x reader #atsumu x reader

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cooliogirl101 · 3 years

Note

so what happened with nana and shamal? are they a less intense version of gin and hisana? 🤔

The first time Shamal sets eyes on Nana Fujiwara, he is convinced he’s seen an angel. He takes in the warmth of her eyes, the silkiness of her hair, the way she smells like white tea and jasmine, and he leaps at her with welcoming arms, ready to embrace her and press himself against those soft, inviting curves.

He’s promptly enveloped in an enormous cloud of pepper spray. That basically sets the tone for the next two years of their relationship.

In general, Nana likes to think of herself as someone who gets along pretty well with people. She knows she has a bit of a temper, but she tries her best to keep it under control and to remain patient, calm, and understanding.

That all goes out the window when it comes to Trident Shamal.

There are a lot of things about Shamal that she hates. She hates the way he leers at and chases after every girl he finds attractive. She hates his stupid, perverted grin and she hates the stupid, dopey look he gets on his face every time she sees him, and she hates his stupid, fucking ridiculous rule about ‘not treating men.’

Most of all though, she hates how he gets away with it. How every single member of the administration simply laughs it off, telling her it’s “just some harmless flirting, don’t worry about it.” One professor tells her she should be flattered and she almost commits homicide right then and there.

Then to top everything off, she can’t even avoid him because as the top two members of their class, they always end up getting paired together for projects, which was...just typical.

Honestly, Nana thinks the fact that she hasn’t killed him yet is an enormous testament to her self control. She could probably put that on her resume under ‘special skills’-- has refrained from murdering classmate (was there a word for that? Classmate-cide? Peer-tricide?) despite being given literally hundreds of reasons to do so.

Not to say she hasn’t imagined doing so. Vividly. She ended up doodling so many scenarios that she had to get a second notebook.

Any other day, and Shamal would have been thrilled to have Nana Fujiwara, the loveliest, prettiest, most adorable girl in his class, knocking on his door. Any other day and he would’ve been more than happy to wax poetic about her beautiful smile, her fiery personality, her large, doe-like eyes, the soft curve to those plump, inviting lips, the-- well, the list goes on.

Right now however, he hadn’t showered in three (or was it four?) days, he was drenched in his own sweat, he was running a fever of 39.5 C, his head was throbbing painfully, everything hurt, and to top everything off, the room smelled strongly of vomit.

“Shamal, I know you’re in there! Open up!” Shamal groaned miserably, covering his eyes with one arm as the pounding at the door caused his headache to go from ‘someone trying to drive an iron spike through my head’ to ‘iron spike is now on fire and accompanied by a hundred tiny hammers, please kill me now.’

“Goddammit Shamal, you were supposed to send me the draft of your half of the project three days ago! Open the door!” Nana continued to shout through the door. “I swear to god, if you don’t open up, I will kick your door down, don’t think I won’t--oh.”

Nana blinked, irritated scowl melting away at the sight of his appearance. She frowned, a touch of concern creeping into her expression.

“Are you...okay?” She asked hesitantly. It was the first time he’d heard Nana Fujiwara sound hesitant and Shamal hated it.

Summoning up whatever last reserves of strength he had left, Shamal put on his best flirtatious grin, eyes curving up into crescents.

“Aww, you don’t have to be worried about me, beautiful!” He cooed, then clenched his teeth as he felt his stomach swoop nauseatingly. “I’ll be fine, just had a lil’ too much to drink last night.” He leaned casually against the doorframe, which had the added benefit of keeping him mostly upright. “I just need to sleep it off and then--”

“Yeah no, you’re clearly not okay. Stupid question,” Nana murmured, clearly ignoring everything he’d just said. She stepped closer, placing a hand against his forehead. “Jesus, you’re burning up. Come on, I’m taking you to the hospital.”

“No!” He shouted. Nana flinched, startled, and Shamal cursed under his breath. He hadn’t meant to do that.

“No,” he repeated, calmer this time. “No hospitals. I’ll be fine.”

“Shamal--” Nana began.

“They won’t be able to do anything,” he interrupted. “I’ve been through this before, I know how it goes. I just need to wait it out.” He swallowed. “Going to a hospital won’t help. Please, Nana, I--”

He suddenly doubled over, retching violently the rest of his words disappearing under a river of vomit. Shamal had just enough time to see Nana’s eyes widen before he slipped into blissful unconsciousness.

Shamal woke up to gentle hands dabbing at his face with a cool washcloth, the pleasant scent of white tea and jasmine, a familiar voice murmuring soft reassurances in his ear.

“Shhh, you’re okay. It’s just me,” the voice whispered. “Go back to sleep.”

“Nana?” Shamal asked, fighting to stay awake. “You stayed.”

There was a pause.

“Yeah,” she said finally. “Yeah. I stayed.”

Honestly, Nana had no idea what possessed her to actually listen to her obviously sick, half-delirious, idiot classmate instead of doing the reasonable thing, which would’ve been to dump him at the nearest hospital.

Maybe it was the fact that he’d actually called her by her name for once, instead of some stupid pet name. Maybe it was the fact that she knew firsthand how miserable hospitals could be and could sympathize with his desire to avoid them at all cost. Or maybe it was the fact that she recognized the tone of voice he’d used when he’d told her that there was nothing the doctors could do to help him-- the kind of resigned certainty that could only come from experience, of having your hopes dashed over and over. It was a tone of voice she was well acquainted with.

(“I’m sorry Christina, there’s nothing more we can do.”)

It could have been any one of those reasons, or all three of them. She tried not to think too much about it.

It took another two days before Shamal’s fever started coming down and three before he started sounding halfway coherent again. On the fourth, she found him sitting in bed with his breakfast untouched on the nightstand next to him.

“Is something wrong?” Nana asked, frowning. “Are you feeling nauseous again?” When he shook his head, she continued, “I can make something else if you don’t like--”

“Why?” Shamal interrupted.

“Why what?” Nana asked, puzzled. “Why did I make eggs? I was looking up things that are good to eat when you’re sick and I came across a recipe for Chinese steamed eggs. I wish I knew about this before, I mean like it provides protein but it’s soft like a custard so you don’t have to chew much and--”

“No, why-- why do all this? Why go to this much trouble for me?” Shamal demanded, gesturing wildly with his hands. “The cooking, and the-- the washing, and you even cleaned up my apartment, and I don’t-- I don’t understand why--”

“Well, what was I supposed to do, just leave your unconscious body lying there on Death’s front doorstep?” Nana asked uncomprehendingly.

“I threw up on you!” Shamal snapped, sounding mortified.

“Yeah, you aren’t the first person to throw up on me, and you won’t be the last,” she responded dryly. “I’d be in the wrong line of work if I let a little vomit get to me.”

When he still refused to meet her eyes, she sighed.

“Look Shamal, I may not like you-- actually, I can’t stand you-- but that doesn’t mean I want you to suffer like this. You don’t deserve that, no one deserves that.”

No one deserved to feel like their body was failing them. Nana swallowed, forcing her voice to remain steady.

“I was in a position to help, and so I did,” she said quietly. “It’s as simple as that.”

“...as simple as that,” Shamal echoed. “You truly mean that, don’t you? No favors, no debts, just--” He laughed, a little disbelievingly. “You’d go above and beyond the call of duty even for those you hate, just because it was the right thing to do.” He shook his head, a faint smile on his lips. “You really are something else, Nana Fujiwara.”

Nana glanced away, suddenly unable to meet his eyes. She wasn’t sure if he was just acting weird due to the lingering fever, or-- or dizziness from missing breakfast, but something about the way he was looking at her in that moment--

“I should take your temperature again, it’s been over eight hours since I last checked it,” she said abruptly. “I think I left the thermometer in the other room, wait here.” She marched off and tried to ignore how it felt like running away. “Eat your eggs.”

#would really love to hear what you guys think of this relationship dynamic!#solar flame au #wtl!au

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chaoticpuff17 · 3 years

Text

When the Chips are Down

part 4

masterlist

hello my darlings, You asked for it, and now it’s here. Please enjoy my chaotic ramblings as I dive back into my hectic schedule while also being volunteered for child care!--- chaotic puff

Y/N begrudgingly had to admit that she was in love with the nursery. It was beautiful, warm, comfortable. It wasn’t the nursery she and Mark had made together, but it felt safe even if she knew that nothing was safe while she was in Namjoon’s clutches. It felt like it was hers though. She hadn’t been the one to decorate or set it up, but it was hers. The room was familiar and safe. This was where she had retreated from Namjoon after that horrible night. It was with a sickening feeling to know that that was probably the night that her sweet baby had been conceived. It wasn’t fair to the child. It wasn’t fair to her either.

It was good to like the nursery. She’d be spending a lot of time in it once the baby arrived, probably even before as she tried to avoid namjoon. She knew deep down though that there was no avoiding him. She doubted he’d ever let her out of his sight again or at least not for a very long time. Even now he hovered over her as she fluttered around the nursery. She was nine months pregnant. Did he really think she was going to run? She doubted she could run even if she tried. She moved at a waddle, her belly impeding any sudden or quick movement. She loved her baby, but she was very ready to not be pregnant anymore. The stress of being back and not having Mark with her wasn’t helping anything either. She was liable to bite Namjoon’s head off if she didn’t get some space, but that wasn’t going to happen.

“You need to eat something, jagi.” Namjoon sighed watching as she went through the baby clothes he had prepared.

There wasn’t anything gender specific. He’d arrange for her to pick things once they knew what they were having, but gender neutral outfits would work well for a newborn. His research and Yoongi’s wife had informed him how many outfits a newborn baby could go through in a day.

“I’m not hungry.” she grumbled, releasing a sigh of her own.

“You need to eat.”

“She might be nauseous.” a new voice called from the door to the nursery.

She turned to find Yoongi and a woman she didn’t know standing in the doorway. Even more surprising was the fact that the woman was holding a baby, a baby that looked unnervingly like Yoongi.

“I didn’t know you were coming.” Namjoon smiled, tiredly ignoring the guarded look that Sen gave him.

“You called us.” Yoongi grumbled. “Something about bonding and babies.”

Y/N looked to Namjoon, completely unimpressed by the fact he had essentially arranged a playdate for her, but it would admittedly be nice to have another woman to talk to other than Miss In. The maids were all terrified of her as Namjoon’s wife.

“Shoo.” The woman growled shifting the baby on her hip. “Leave the ladies to talk.”

“She needs…”

“I think I know a little more about pregnant women than you do, sajangnim.” She smiled sweetly, though the expression lacked any sincerity. Y/N could tell immediately that she was going to like this woman. “Yoongi.”

The man held up his hands in surrender, dragging out a protesting Namjoon so that the two women could get acquainted.

“I’m Sen. Yoongi’s wife.” she introduced herself keeping a little distance between herself and the other woman for both of their comfort.

“I didn’t know that Yoongi got married.”

“How could you? You weren’t here.” Y/N flinched a little at that, but Sen was quick to correct herself. “Oh no, don’t get me wrong. I admire you for making it out. No one else would have the guts. Namjoon is one scary mother fucker.” Y/N had to laugh at that. “Doing what you did takes some balls.”

“Still ended up back here.”

“You did better than I did.”

Y/N froze staring at the other woman with wide eyes. “You escaped?”

“I wouldn’t say escaped so much as left. Yoongi and I weren’t together. I was one of Jimin’s girls. I left when I realized I was pregnant. Yoongi showed up at the hospital right after this little guy was born.”

“Yoongi’s?”

“Not like he would allow me to see anyone else, possessive bastard.”

“Seems to be a running trend here.”

“Come on.” Sen laughed, taking a step towards her. “You should sit down. That baby has to be giving you some back pain by now.”

“You have no idea.” She groaned, sinking down into the rocking chair again. “How old is he?”

“Three months. His name’s Yoonho.”

“He’s cute.”

“Want to hold him?” Sen offered practically shoving the baby into her arms. “I’m desperate for someone else to hold the little bugger. Yoongi is possessive, but you’d think the baby was a bomb with the way he treats him.”

“He doesn’t seem like a baby person.”

“He’s not.” Sen laughed as Y/N settled little Yoonho against her bump.

She had to admit the kid was adorable, chubby in the most delicious way, like a little dumpling. He had dark hair that stuck up at odd angles, and she was in love. It could have been the hormones running through her system, but she was completely enamored with the little guy.

“How do you do it?” She asked, her voice soft and unsure. “How do you raise a baby in all this?”

“You do the best you can. No one asks for this, but at least it comes with some very luxurious settings.”

Y/N smiled a little. It was true that Namjoon provided a very gilded cage. The nursery was proof of that. Everything was arranged to make her life comfortable, even if she was anything but, and looking down at Yoonho she was reminded she wouldn’t be alone in this soon. She was going to have a little one of her own to look after, to protect from all of this.

Part of her wished that she was having a boy. There’d be no pressure to have another baby with Namjoon. A greater part of her wished that it would be a girl. She didn’t want to give her tormentor the heir he needed. It was a patriarchy after all. He needed a boy, and she didn’t want to give that to him. She didn’t want to give him any children, but it was too late for that. In a few short weeks there was going to be a baby whether she wanted it to be Namjoon’s or not.

Sen observed the other woman for a moment, watching the melancholy drift over her features from her seat on the floor. There were other chairs, but the floor seemed like the best option for when Yoonho decided he was going to be fussy and wanted floor time. “You okay?”

“Not really.” She answered with a shaky smile. “He’s adorable.”

“You won’t say that when he’s crying.”

“You were one of Jimin’s girls?” she asked curiously, desperate to get the focus off of her and her life.

“I was working off my mom’s debt. Stayed because it paid well.” She shrugged. “I was always planning on leaving, but he sped up my time table.” Y/N nodded understandingly practically melting as the baby cooed up at her. “Apparently up and leaving with one of the big seven’s babies is frowned upon.”

“Apparently.”

She wasn’t naïve enough to notice the similarities in their stories. They had both been thrust into this life, for different reasons, and they had both tried to leave, unsuccessfully so. She was honestly surprised that Namjoon had allowed them to be alone together, but he had probably only been thinking of the baby side of things and not the scheming wife side of it.

“It gets better.” Sen offered only to be met with a disbelieving look from the other woman. “It does.”

“You just have to be their doll.”

“No one said it was easy, but there are things you have to do for your family.”

“He’s killed my family.”

“Not the baby.”

“I’m terrified it’s going to be a boy, that I’m going to bring a little Namjoon into the world.”

Sen nodded understandingly. “You’ll love that baby regardless. Even if that baby is Namjoon’s carbon copy, it’s still yours too. You get to raise it.”

“It feels like he’s won. He’s taken everything.”

Sen sighed, running a hand through her hair as she tried to find the words to say. “You still have your baby, and despite everything, you have Namjoon’s ear. You can use that. Do you know how hard he worked to find you? We were honestly all a little scared of him.”

“We?”

“The other girls.”

A choked sound of surprise left her at that. She was stunned. Namjoon was going to hold her escape against her. He was going to hold Mark against her, but he had gone to see Jimin’s girls in her absence. It was horribly and hilariously hypocritical.

“The other girls.”

“No one really wanted to mess with him before you. He’s scary. You know? But after you? He was an absolute nightmare. Those poor girls have probably all breathed a sigh of relief to know that you’re back.”

“They can keep him.”

“After the past few months? They don’t want him.”

“I don’t want him either.” She scoffed bouncing the baby a little as he fussed.

“Then we’re all agreed. We should form a club.”

Y/N couldn’t help it. She burst out laughing, a mix of emotions running through her. Eventually the laughing slowed into tears, which Sen was quick to notice.

She stood up quickly, scooping the baby up with one arm and draping the other comfortingly around the other woman’s shoulders.

“It’s going to be alright.” She promised. “You’re not alone here anymore. We have to look out for each other, right?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Besides, who else is going to listen to me complain about diapers and gush over baby clothes?” Y/N let out another teary laugh. “Why don’t we go take a walk in the garden? I think we could all use some fresh air.”

---

Namjoon watched from his office window as his wife and Yoongi’s strolled through the garden. They were talking and laughing in a way that was comfortable, familiar, something he hadn’t even seen her display with Jin and Jungkook, and he begrudgingly had to admit that those two were her favorites of the bunch. She was always happier with everyone who wasn’t him. He shouldn’t have been jealous. He knew she needed female friends, but he wanted her to be that comfortable with him.

“If you keep frowning like that your face is going to freeze.” Yoongi drawled from where he was lounging in one of Namjoon’s chairs. “Sit down and relax. You’re gonna miss it after the baby comes. They cry, all the time.” Namjoon didn’t move. “She’s not going to suddenly come running to you because you’re staring at her like a psychopath from the window.”

“I don’t like to be away from her. We were apart too long already.”

Yoongi groaned leaning his head back. “She needs space too. She doesn’t like you.”

“I know that.” Namjoon snapped irritably. He didn’t need to be reminded of his failure to woo his own wife.

“It could get better.” Yoongi offered lazily. “Babies change things. You never know.”

God, Namjoon hoped that was true. He hoped that the baby would soften her to him. He wanted, no needed, them to be a family. He wanted her to smile and laugh with him like she was with Sen in the garden. He wanted it to be the two of them and their own child, maybe even a few more. They had the perfect house for kids. He had the perfect wife. He just needed her to see that.

“How does Sen not chop your head off?”

“I don’t step on her toes, and she doesn’t step on mine.” Yoongi shrugged. “But I’ve known her a long time. She knows me. She may not like me, but we’re comfortable together. Y/N is not comfortable with you.”

“I’m trying.”

“Try harder?”

“She ran off with another man.”

“And you fucked Jimin’s girls. They’re terrified of you.”

Namjoon growled in frustration, his eyes still fixed on her figure as she continued her walk. They’d both made mistakes. He knew that, and he was willing to forgive her, even if he wouldn’t forgive the man who had taken her away. All that mattered was that she and the baby were home again, with him.

“It doesn’t matter now.”

“I guarantee it matters to her.”

“What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her. She doesn’t need any more stress right now. It isn’t good for the baby.”

Yoongi scoffed at that, but didn’t say anything more.

---

Several hours later, Sen and Yoongi were due to head home, much to Y/N’s dismay. It was nice to have someone who understood around, but she couldn’t blame the other woman for wanting to go back to her own house, to unwind and relax and settle her baby down for a much needed nap.

Yoongi was visibly smug by how well the two women got along, and Namjoon was hovering, ready to whisk her away for lunch. He was still fixated on the fact she hadn’t eaten any of the breakfast he had had prepared for her.

“I’ll come again soon.” Sen promised, one hand holding Y/N’s. “We can pick some things for the baby.”

“Thank you for coming.” She smiled leaning in to hug the woman goodbye and to coo one last time at the baby.

Namjoon would have been lying to say he didn’t melt at the sight of her interacting with Yoongi’s child. He couldn’t wait for it to be his child she was fussing over. Soon, he reminded himself. He would have this soon.

“Come on.” Yoongi grumbled, gently taking the baby from Sen. “It’s time to go home, and Namjoon looks like he’s going to have an anxiety attack if he doesn’t get Y/N to eat in the next five minutes.”

“Hyung.” Namjoon nodded, relieved to have the visitors leaving so he could have time with his wife.

“It’s going to be okay.” Sen whispered as she gave the other woman a hug. “You have all the power right now. Don’t forget that. He can’t do anything while you’re carrying his child.”

True, but how far could she really push her boundaries before Namjoon pushed back? She didn’t know, but she was planning on finding out.

part 5

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peakywitch · 4 years

Text

Jane - John Shelby

Warnings: none

Word count: 1.5k

Author’s Note: NOT proof read. If you see any mistakes, please let me know! <3 This will have quite a few parts. Maybe 4. <3

masterlist

Jane woke Y/N with a loud crying. Instantly, she knew: the baby was hungry. She sighed frustrated; the poor woman could not rest more than five hours. She sat on the bed, trying not to suffer from the cold, and took care of feeding her daughter.

“Jane… I know you are cold. Me too, but tomorrow I will improve our life. I promise, love. "

When the clock struck six in the morning, Jane was asleep while Y/N changed. She was putting on her ocean blue dress, the same as always. While it did fit a little tight, it was the only one that fit: Her other three dresses had been transformed into various pieces of clothing for Jane.

Y/N looked at herself in the mirror while combing her hair. Her tiredness was strongly evident on her face and her body was heavy. She looked at the pressed powder and the single red lipstick, now nearly empty, on her dresser. The small amount of makeup she had, she had saved it for a day like today. Then it was decided: it was a matter of life or death, literally. She used a little bit of powder and with, her ring finger, she painted her lips red and then stained her cheeks pink. She tied her hair as best as she could and smiled. Today everything would change.

"Good morning, Stella" greeted Y/N, sitting at the table in the private room, where the prostitutes had breakfast, lunch and dinner.

"Good morning, Y/N." she greeted, while lifting Jane And good morning to you, beautiful princess." Jane started to laugh when Stella filled her with kisses "Did you sleep well?"

Y/N sighed, pouring herself some coffee in an old mug.

“She slept and then woke me up before the sun did. So yes and no." Y/N sat at the table with her cup, handing Jane a bottle of water.

"Anna told me you have a job interview, Y/N, is that true?" Stella asked, as she made her tea.

"Yes, Lizzie Stark left her job and ..."

"Lizzie Stark quitted the Shelby Company?" Stella yelled, interrupting Y/N.

"Yeah, Tommy Shelby problems Anna told me. And I…"

“Y/N” Stella began, as she sat across from the young woman “Don't go near the Shelbys. You... Jane…"

“Stella, I know who the Shelbys are. I know they kill, Stella. But either I join a gang or my daughter and I will die on the street."

Stella pursed her lips, Y/N was determined to death that it would work, whatever the circumstance. She helped with the cleaning in that hellhole, but it was not enough. It wasn't that Stella didn't want to give her more money, it was that she couldn't. Many of the prostitutes had left work, leaving the brothel with only five women: Stella, Y/N, Anna, Sarah, and little Jane.

They finished their breakfast in silence, Stella was not angry, she was worried to death. What if the Shelbys hurt Y/N? What about Jane? What if she didn't get the job?

"Well" said Y/N, bundling up to leave "Wish me luck." Y/N yelled at Stella from the doorway, having already greeted Jane and Stella in the kitchen.

"Y/N! Wait!" Stella warned, approaching her with Jane in her arms "I..." she sighed "Don't leave without Thomas fucking Shelby giving you a job, eh?" Stella smiled and Y/N hugged her.

"Okay." She smiled

The drive to the Shelby Limited Company office was cold. The weather and her nerves made her nauseous. With what excuse would she explain to Tommy Shelby the rumor she had heard? The path seemed longer than it really was, the little snow on the ground scared her. She didn't want to fall.

After about five minutes, she arrived at the company. The tall black door intimidated her. Was it a good idea to come? She wasn't sure, but she would find out. She knocked on the door with a nervous hand, she was freezing without gloves.

"Yes?" asked a woman with a serious look on her face.

“Hello ma'am, my name is Y/N. I would need to speak to Thomas Shelby, is he available? "

Y/N's delicate smile only hardened the woman's gaze.

"Come with me."

The woman let Y/N through, closing the door behind her.

“You will refer to Thomas as Mr. Shelby. If he offers you a whiskey, you accept. If he invites you for a cigarette, you accept. If he asks you to leave, you leave." She stopped in front of a glass door, turning to look Y/N in the eye "Got it?" Y/N nodded nervously.

The lady knocked on the door and walked in, leaving Y/N alone, outside Thomas Shelby's office. She stared curiously at the gold letter on the door that bore his name. The lady came out again and spoke to her.

"Mr. Shelby will see you now."

The woman did not open the door for him, leaving it closed and walking away. With a knot in her stomach, Y/N knocked on the door.

"Come in!" was heard. Y/N's shaking hands turned the doorknob, revealing Tommy Shelby standing with his back to her, then watching him turn with two drinks in hand.

"Excuse me, Mr..." Tommy sighed in frustration.

"If I hear you say Mr. Shelby, I’ll throw you out with Ophelia, Miss Y/N." his tone of voice was so monotonous that it surprised the girl, everything that was said d e he was true "You can call me Tommy."

"Okay, Tommy..." Y/N smiled softly, as Tommy handed her the Whiskey "Excuse me, I know what Ophelia said about not denying you a Whiskey, but I can't drink. I have a baby…” Y/N braced herself for Tommy's contemptuous look and some comment. But it never arrived.

"Oh, don't worry. Water?" he asked, Y/N denied. Nerves were consuming her.

"What brings you here, Miss Y/N?" Tommy asked, sitting down in her chair.

“Tommy, I’m sorry for being so… direct. I am friends with Anna Preston. As you well know, Anna is a friend of Lizzie and… I think you already know what I'm here for. Lizzie quit, and I have a daughter who is just three months old. I am living in the room in which a woman used to prostitute herself, dressing my daughter in my clothes. I am very afraid of staying with my daughter, Jane, on the street. So Anna told me that I could ask you if I could fill Lizzie's position…” Y/N spoke quickly, anxiety growing exponentially in her body.

"Miss Y/N..." Tommy started. Y/N interrupted him.

“Before you say no, you should know that I went to one of the best schools. I do not have the best body, I know it, but I am very skilled with mathematics, I can read and write fluently in English and French. Speaking with the accent is a bit difficult for me, but I'm willing to improve it. Also, I will never be a minute late, I am extremely punctual. I am very neat and…"

"Y/N..." Tommy spoke again, Y/N's nerves continued to interrupt him.

“And I will not pay attention to any of your workers, I will not be distracted by men. I just…” Y/N's body froze, begging for air. Y/N breathed "I just need to keep my daughter alive."

Tommy watched her. He saw the weariness on her face, her despair, and her dress pressing against her body.

"What is your daughter's name, Miss Y/N?" asked Tommy, pulling out a cigarette. “Do you mind if I smoke? She asked again, placing her cigarette on her lips.

"Jane. Please, it doesn't bother me…” Y/N sighed nervously.

Tommy lit her cigarette. After patiently inhaling and exhaling, Y/N was sure: Thomas Shelby would send her to hell.

"You are single, right?" he asked, the lump in Y/N's throat prevented her from speaking. She could only nod while looking at her hands. "Your accent isn't from around here, you're from London, right?"

“King’s College, London. The bastard abandoned me and spread lies all over bloody London. My parents kicked me out of my house, with only three dresses and a hundred pounds I came to Birmingham. I already owe Stella money. I don't want any more debt. I also don't want to die on the street and for Jane to have to... I want to give my daughter a good life, Tommy. And I am willing to do anything.”

“You ever been to Camden town, Y/N?” Tommy asked, drinking a little bite of his alcohol glass.

“Yes, Tommy. Quite a few times, actually.”

“Do you know who Mr Solomons is?”

Y/N thought about that last names for a few seconds.

“What’s his first name?” Y/N asked.

“Alfie.”

“Yes, I do know him. He owns a bakery, makes amazing sourdough bread.” Y/N smiled at the memories that where flashing through her head.

“Wait. Alfie, the Jewish baker… has business with a Birmingham gang?” the look on Y/N’s face made Tommy chuckle.

“Bring Jane, Y/N. We are going on a trip with my boys.”

#finn shelby #alfie solomons #finn shelby imagine #peaky blinder fanfic #finn shelby x reader #finn cole imagine #finn cole #thomas shelby #arthur shelby imagine #arthur shelby #thomas shelby fic #the peaky blinders #john shelby #joe cole #john shelby imagine

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mulletcal · 4 years

Text

get what you give, give what you get - a sugar daddy!cal blurb.

A/N: okay, so here’s one of my two fics for the fic event! i’m so happy and so grateful to be able to be apart of this cool event, and to have made some new friends along the way. this truly was such a welcoming environment to toss ideas into. also, this isn’t gonna be a conventional dom!cal sugar daddy type fic, but i hope you enjoy anyways.

word count: 2.6k warnings: mentions of death, light grieving, drug mention

Event Masterlist

***

The morning that Calum had gotten the call from his mother that his grandma had passed away, he had ended up in the cafe you worked at. A blank, emotionless expression with a muttered ‘thank you’ was Calum’s first impressions with the baristas there, assuming they probably thought of him as an asshole following that.

Calum became a regular of the cafe though, realizing it wasn’t like the typical cafes he and his friends would frequent. No one knew him, he could be a nobody here. He didn’t have to have his friends look at him with sympathetic eyes while he mourned the loss of the biggest supporter in his life. His grandmother never questioned when Calum wanted to drop out of school to be in a band, nor did she ever bat an eye when that band never made it off the ground, leaving him working temp jobs just to get by.

He was able to make it out for his grandmother's funeral, being around his family easing his grieving in the slightest bit. Calum wasn’t often able to see his grandmother, both of their schedules never really matching up other than the typical family holidays, and the fact that he lived in California, and her in Australia; but she always called him on his birthday to let him know how much she loved him.

It came as a shock to him when he received mail from his grandmother’s estate, letting him know that his grandmother had left him a ridiculous amount of money, quite possibly her entire fortune from throughout her life- he of course had no way of knowing, maybe she was that filthy rich and she never let any of them know. What had she left to his mother? His sister? Calum supposed reading the letter would answer some questions for him, but he instead stood there, at a loss for words with the letter in hand, unable to bring himself to open it.

Calum decided he’d need coffee to process this information further, maybe delay him opening the letter just a little bit. He ended up not too long after that at his usual table in the cafe, giving a tight smile to the baristas who were working that day. Turning the letter over and over in his hands, he jumped when someone had appeared beside him with a coffee and baked good.

“Sorry to bother you, you just hadn’t come to order yet, so we thought we’d bring it to you. You seemed a little lost in thought,” You spoke softly, the mans’ warm brown eyes gazing up at you, slightly glassy and distant.

“Oh, uh… Yeah, sorry. But thank you, I really appreciate it. D’you mind if I come up to pay shortly?”

“Don’t worry about it,” You said, placing a hand on his shoulder, “We’ve got you covered.”

The small gesture made Calum’s chest warm, a genuine smile appearing on his lips before you turned away. Something about you made him pause; he had noticed you before, sure, but normally you were more bubbly. You seemed sad today, and he briefly wondered if there was just a dark cloud hanging over the rest of the world like it was for him, or if his most recent loss was just making him bitter towards everything.

Turning his attention back to the letter in his hands, the feeling of the paper was making his skin hot, and uncomfortably so. It was time to rip the bandaid off, so to speak, and open it. What could possibly be wrong with the letter? Or the money? Had his grandmother been the leader of a drug ring, and Calum had somehow inherited that title? A million thoughts raced through his mind while he broke the seal, his breathing quick.

His grandmothers writing filled the page, causing his eyes to water a little just due to the fact that she had written this herself. She had meant for him to get this. Calum’s eyes scanned the words, tears fully forming as he really read them.

‘Calum,

If you’re reading this, it means I’ve gone - though I’m sure you’re aware of that. If you’re not well… Shit, sorry to tell you my love.’

He had to pause his reading to chuckle, wiping the tears away from his eyes as he did so.

‘Because you’re a sweet boy, I know you’re already wondering why. Why did I leave all of this to you? What about your mum and Mali? Don’t fret, they will not be left empty handed. This money, this is all for you. I want you to go and live your dreams, my sweet. I’ve always believed in you, in your talents; you’re a hard working young man with big dreams. Take this money and do something amazing with it, take a trip. Take all your friends on a trip for all I care, the main thing I want from this is for you to be happy.

I love you, be well. I’ll miss you.

Gran’

Calum sniffled quietly, once again wiping at his eyes when he had finished reading. She had been gone less than a month, but the month had felt so long; Calum forgot briefly that she was gone, and gave her a call on her birthday, only to find that someone had already disconnected her phone. That had been a rough day in particular for him.

Finishing his coffee in silence, he tuned into the conversations around him, picking up on one in particular coming from behind the bar. The barista who had previously brought him his coffee leaning against the counter, talking quietly to her coworker.

“It doesn’t make sense… they’re busier than ever, I don’t get why they let me go. They had even said it wasn’t a performance based termination…”

Calum frowned, trying not to eavesdrop, but she continued on with her words.

“That was literally my only way to finally make ends meet. My student loans are ridiculous, my landlord is an asshole and keeps raising the rent,” The woman sighed, “I gotta find another job. Or marry rich.” The last part of her sentence was said with a half-hearted laugh, no hope in her voice at all.

A thought occurred to Calum then, the words in his Gran’s letter ringing through his ears, “Take your friends on a trip for all I care.” Well, his friends didn’t need any sort of vacation, choosing to live it up whenever and wherever they could; but this young woman, she could really benefit from money like this. Also there was a hefty chance that the entirety of her student loan would hardly make a dent in his inheritance, which made him nauseous to even think about.

He couldn’t think about it for too much longer, or he’d chicken out, so he made his way up to the counter, both baristas turning their attention to him. “Something wrong, sir?” The second barista asked, but Calum’s eyes nervously remained on the first.

“I have an offer for you. I heard your situation and I’d like to help, if you’d let me.”

The first barista clicked her teeth, leaning on her elbows on the counter so they were inches away from each other, “No offence man, but I’m not about to smuggle kilos of cocaine up my lady bits to pay off my college fees.”

Calum was a bit taken aback by her comment, letting out the first genuine laugh he had since his Gran had passed, “What? God, no! Listen. I wanna pay off your student loans.”

“What’s in it for you?” She had cut him off, but he couldn’t blame her for being suspicious. He would be too if a random person approached him offering to pay his debts.

“Nothing. I don’t want anything in return, I swear.” Calum paused, “Well… Maybe one thing.”

She cocked her head to the side, encouraging him to continue, and he did. “Maybe just someone to talk to? M’not a fan of feeling vulnerable in front of my friends, but you both have seen me cry in the middle of this cafe, so…”

Pulling back from the counter, she tossed a glance over her shoulder to the second barista, who was quick to leave the two of them alone. Calum assumed she would be filled in of the details later anyways, so her being shooed away didn’t make him feel guilty.

“Okay.. What? Are you some kind of lonely sugar daddy? Surely you’re too young to be so lonely.”

Calum shook his head, letting out a sound of exasperation, but the smile remained on his lips, “I don’t know if you can tell, but I have no idea what I’m doing. I almost never do.” Pulling out the letter and setting it onto the counter, “My Gran passed away recently, and she left me quite a bit of inheritance; I have a strong suspicion that your student loans won’t hardly make a dent in the number, so let me help you. In exchange for a friend.”

The girl thought for a moment, meeting his eyes to sense any deception. “Can I think about it? Also, that does kinda make you a sugar daddy. You’re paying for me to keep you company.”

“Take your time; also if I’m a sugar daddy and you say yes, that’ll make you my baby.” With a final wink tossed her direction, he headed out of the cafe to go back to his apartment.

Calum returned the next day, hoping that he would find her working once again, his chest deflating a little when she wasn’t. The second barista from the day before was working though, her eyes landing on him the second he came through the door.

“She’s sick today… Said she must’ve come down with the flu or somethin’.”

Calum nodded in acknowledgment, heading over to take a seat in his usual spot. His plan to convince her was potentially out the window now, quite possible she would be avoiding coming to work because he weirded her out. He had formed a whole plan, too, he was prepared to pay off her tuition, as well as a few months of her rent… Though he was prepared to pay for far more than a few months of her rent, he was sure that she wouldn’t let him unless she became really desperate.

Why was he so dead set on helping her? Was it because she was beautiful? Maybe, but she seemed more than that. The way she never judged the moods he was in, simply gave him his coffee with a smile, most days him returning the gesture; or maybe it was the small fact that yesterday she noticed he wasn’t himself, so she had bought him coffee in a small hope of brightening his spirits.

His phone buzzing on the table took his attention away from his thoughts, brows furrowing at the request for an AirDrop. Calum accepted hesitantly, opening the phone to see that the first baristas contact information had been sent to him. Looking over his shoulder, he laughed lightly at her friend from the day before staring him down, waving his hand in a thanks.

He clicked to send you a message, pausing before typing out, “Hey, it’s Cal. The weirdo wannabe sugar daddy from the cafe? Your coworker/friend(?) Gave me your number. Think she wants you to take my offer if you ask me.”

It was a few minutes until the three dots appeared, quickly disappearing and reappearing several times before he actually received a reply, “Yeah, definitely seems like it. I don’t wanna infect you with whatever I’ve come down with, but I’d like to discuss terms.”

“We can do that, I’m also not terribly concerned about getting sick. Send me your address.”

“Serial killer. Here.”

The message that followed was her address, and Calum placed an order at his favourite restaurant for soup before he turned to ask her friend if there was anything she liked to drink when she was sick.

After another thirty minutes of picking up random things on his journey, he finally arrived at her door, biting his lip to hold back a laugh when she answered wrapped in a blanket.

“Welcome to hell… Or. I dunno, it’s not hell cause it’s fuckin’ freezing. Hurry up and get inside before you let the cold air in.”

Calum squinted, a small smirk tugging at his lips, “Doll, it’s nearing June in Los Angeles, there’s not a draft anywhere in sight, unless you’re talking about a cold beer.”

“Did you come here to talk about terms, or to make fun of me?” She said with a pout, curling up onto her couch.

“Actually, I’ve brought you some soup and crackers, and also have come to discuss terms… and make fun of you. You’ve gotten a three for one deal here, darlin’.” Calum grinned, placing the bag on the table in front of her, her pout only getting worse.

“Fine. Only because you brought me soup.”

Calum rolled his eyes, helping her to get settled sitting up so she could eat her soup. Something about the silence that fell between them while she ate wasn’t uncomfortable, but rather welcome. It had been a long time since Calum was able to feel comfortable sitting in silence with someone, and it made him relax a bit into her couch.

“Okay so terms,” she started, setting the last of the soup down to turn towards Calum, “No sex. If that’s what you’re expecting, I’m 100% out. Not because you’re not attractive, but I don’t know if I’m personally cut out for the sex work business.”

Calum nodded, letting her continue on. “And I want to be able to stop whenever I’d like. I don’t want some sort of fixed term contract like m’buying a phone. Honestly I can’t think of anything more than that. What did you have in mind?”

Turning towards her as well, Calum rested his elbow on his leg, chin in his hand while he looked at her. “I wasn’t expecting much, if I’m honest. I just want someone to spend time with. The dating pool is slim, and I’m not particularly lookin’ for a girlfriend, so having someone to kinda bitch to after a hard day is what I was hoping for. And I’d want to hear about your day too. What annoyed you the most, what was the best part of your day, things to take my mind off everyday life.”

She looked at him for a long moment, and Calum frowned in response thinking she was going to say no. It wouldn’t affect him terribly if she had, but it would certainly mean he could never go back to that same coffee shop again.

“Why me?” She finally said, pulling the blanket down so it was pooled at her waist now. “Why do you want to spend your money on me?”

“Like I told you yesterday, this money was inheritance. My Gran told me to take my friends on vacation, or to do something fun with it; but in all honesty I’d rather do something useful with it, like helping someone else. You seemed like you could use it, and from what I can tell you’ve never been anything but kind to me - so, you. That’s why you, because you deserve a break.”

Her eyes had moved from Calum’s down to the floor, her breathing uneven, “Okay.”

“Okay?” “Yes, okay. As long as you agree to my terms,” Lifting her head, Calum could see that her eyes were glassy, as if she had been trying to hold back tears when he spoke.

“I agree to your terms. What costs shall we tackle first, baby?” His teasing tone earned him a pillow to the head, a stream of giggles falling from her lips.

“Another term - don’t call me baby.”

“Mmm, that one may have to be an agree to disagree there, baby.”

regular tag list: @haikucal @talkfastromance4 @softbabiestan @boyfriend-cal @calum-uncrowned @wildflowerirwin @irwindoll @gosh-im-short @thesubtweeter @heavenisapeach @ridingcthood @loveroflrh @mantlereid @inlovehoodx @irwinkitten @n-ctarinenga @g-l-pierce @thecurlsofgod @idontneedanyone

event tag list: @maluminspace @5sosnsfw @punkrockpreferences @castaway-cashton @readyplayermike @gigglyirwin @sexgodashton @5-secondsofcolor @mysticalhood @mermaidcashton�� @koalacal @loveroflrh @calumsmermaid @wildmichaelflower @goth5sos @h0tsos @fallinluke @jae-writes-fanfiction @pinkbubbles-and-bigtroubles @sublimehood @shal-pal @cashtonasfuck @kingcals @calumcest

#calum hood #calum hood blurb #calum hood fanfiction #sugardaddy!cal #5 seconds of summer fanfiction

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adorablele · 4 years

Text

a child; z.ch

anon requested; fluffy fic with chenle introducing you to his nephew?? and a cute lil playdate and yall talk about your future together and kids pleaseeeee

❆ genre; fluff,, do I write anything else?

❆ words; 883

❆ a/n; his nephew is too smart for his own good

“she doesn’t bite,” chenle chuckled, ruffling his nephew’s hair.

he was currently hiding behind chenle’s legs, peaking shyly over at you seated form on the couch.

“that would be cannibalism,” his nephew muttered.

“yeah, I wouldn’t bring her here if she was cannibal, xia,” chenle reassured.

you smiled, sticking out your hand, “my name is y.n, what’s your name?”

he looked up at chenle before, walking over to you and shaking your head, “my name is xia.”

“nice to meet you xia. chenle talks a lot about you.”

his eyes widened, “he does?”

you nodded, “yeah.”

he shook his head, “I don’t think he talks as much about me as he does about you.”

“he talks about me?” you asked, glancing over at your boyfriend who was prepping food in the kitchen.

“especially when you guys started dating! he would talk and talk about how this girl is so pretty and how she’s so caring,” xia shook his head, “he really likes you.”

“can I tell you a secret?” you asked.

he eagerly nodded.

“I really like him too,” you whispered loudly.

xia gave you a serious look, “you better! he was very sad when you didn’t text him back that one week. he would frown a lot and would glance at his phone and he would tell me that he-”

“what lies are you spreading?” chenle asked, placing a bowl of food in front of xia.

“what lies?” xia asked, looking confusedly at you, “you were very sad when-”

chenle chuckled nervously, “just eat, bud.”

he turned to you, “that’s when you were away on the field trip for a week and your phone was broken.”

you chuckled, “I didn’t know you missed me that much.”

he shrugged, “your voice is what motivates me to get up in the morning.”

“gross,” xia commented, scrunching his nose at you two.

“eat your food,” chenle frowned.

xia widened his mouth, chomping loudly to emphasize that he’s eating.

chenle shook his head, “stop messing around.”

you watched as he took a napkin and wiped xia’s face. chenle muttered how he needed to start learning to eat with his mouth closed and that there’s a reason why napkins exist.

“don’t forget to put away your bowl when you’re done eating, okay?”

“yeah,” xia muttered, eyes trained on the TV.

“and make sure you prepare your backpack for tomorrow.”

“yeah,” xia repeated, chewing slowing down as the action scene of the episode continued on.

“don’t forget to pay me three million dollars in the morning,” chenle reminded.

“yeah,” xia waved off.

chenle shook his head, sitting down next to you at the kitchen counter, “this kid.”

you smiled, placing a bowl of food in front of him, “you’d be a great father.”

chenle smiled, taking the bowl of food, “you think?”

“of course!”

he stared at you for a bit, before mixing the food in his bowl, “as long as I have you by my side, I think I’d manage.”

you shook your head, cleaning a dish in the sink, “having a child with you?”

“is that such a bad idea?” he asked, a light chuckle in his voice.

you smiled, staring hazily into his eyes, “it makes me feel fuzzy inside.”

“good fuzzy, I hope.”

you rolled your eyes, “no, it makes me nauseous to think of my future with you.”

“I heard that’s what happens when you’re growing a child in your stomach. it can also make you crave things and fart and-”

“I think you’re missing something,” you raised your brows, wiggling your fingers.

chenle stood up, moving behind you.

“a long day at work and I’d come home to this,” he sighed, resting his chin on your shoulder.

“my lovely wife,” he whispered, pecking your hand, ”who keeps me stress free.”

he directed your chin to the living room where xia grumpily stuffed his homework into his backpack as he rambled to himself about the episode being too short and that the wait for the next episode is too long.

“our first child who will make fun of us because we aren’t hip enough.”

he trailed his hand down to your stomach, “hopefully have another one on the way so we can watch the two of them argue over stupid little things.”

“sisters can be vicious,” you smiled.

“you mean, both boys,” chenle corrected.

“did I say brothers?” you challenged.

“boys-”

“can cause just as much drama as girls,” you pointed out.

“why not both a boy and a girl?” chenle suggested.

“what about no child?” xia suggested, walking into the kitchen with his empty bowl.

“what?” you asked.

“another child would mean less attention on me,” xia frowned, hopping up on a stool to wash his dish.

“less attention?” chenle asked.

“yeah. as far as I’m concerned, I’m the baby of the family right now and I’d like to keep it that way,” he sassed.

“this is why you owe me three million dollars,” chenle sighed.

“isn’t my love enough?”

“sadly, it doesn’t pay the bills,” chenle replied.

“can’t you give me a break?”

“you’re a smart kid, I have faith in you,” you smirked.

“only 9 and I’m already in debt,” he sighed, sulkily walking out of the kitchen.

you and chenle looked at each other, “we’d make a amazing parents.”

#hae.req #hae.chenle #zhong chenle #chenle blurbs #chenle scenarios #chenle drabbles #chenle imagines #chenle fluff #chenle soft hours #nct dream #nct dream imagines #nct dream drabbles #nct dream blurbs #nct dream scenarios #nct dream fluff #nct dream soft hours #nct dream chenle

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kisskissbanggang · 4 years

Text

The Sabotage of Simkung House - Part 1

[Stray Kids Multi Fic - 5K Words/20Min. Read - Lee Know x Female Reader - Non-Idol!au, Variety!au - NSFW/Smut, Plot - Reverse Harems, Variety Shows, Secret Hook-Ups]

This was your weirdest casting call yet. The assistant was taking the longest time looking back and forth from your headshot to your CV, and it was making you anxious. You could be doing better things on a Thursday night than get scrutinized more than usual. Finally, after an agonizing fifteen minutes of near silence on your end, the assistant motioned for the casting director to come over. This new person looked from the CV, to the headshot, to you, in a repeated loop until they ultimately asked you to stand up, turn in a circle, and walk around the room. You felt like a show dog, but relief finally came as the casting director motioned for you to follow, not leave. Was this your weirdest casting call ever? Probably. Would you pass up an opportunity to sign? Of course not.

Yet another eager assistant trotted up to intercept you as casting led you down the hall. “I got this,” he explained, politely shooing away the casting director and redirecting you into a new office.

“Hi,” he greeted as he sat you in a chair, “so we’re glad you're here. I’m Felix,” he introduced himself, offering you a hand to shake before he sat you in a chair in front of the big desk in the room. He remained standing as he animatedly explained himself. “I’m the assistant for our executive producer. We know this has been a little unorthodox.”

“That's fine! I know some AV producers have really high standards,” you shrugged with a polite smile. You hadn't been shooting adult videos long, but in the time since you started you’d definitely had some weird auditions. None as weird as this, still, but weird nonetheless.

“Right,” Felix nodded, “we were impressed with your materials. I'm already familiar with your work--” he blurted out before cranking back, biting into his lip as he blushed. You modestly nodded for him to continue. “--but I never realized you had such credentials otherwise. You have a very nice acting resume.”

“I've never needed both before,” you explained apologetically, “so I just left everything on there.”

“No no! It’s better than I could've dreamed of. I had no clue you went to school. And you’re bilingual? I thought I recalled you using English once or twice in streams, but I never realized--” Felix paused again, realizing his continued admission. You nodded for him to get going once again.

“Don’t be embarrassed,” you kindly encouraged, “I’m glad you’re familiar with my work.”

“I am,” he eagerly nodded as he pulled some materials out from a folder sitting on the desk , “And we want you. So can I explain?” He waited for your approval once more before he launched in. We’re casting a new variety show. It’s called Noesengnam House.” The first piece of material he slid across the desk was a logo: a cheesy, bubbly text in front of a silhouette of a chiseled man with a graduation cap on. You raised an eyebrow. However, being enthusiastic was key to landing any gig, so despite any doubts you put on a smile.

“Alright. So we’re focusing on smart, sexy guys?”

“We’re making smart, sexy guys,” Felix clarifies, and he’s so proud as he passes five headshots across the desk. You’ve always been puzzled by these overenthusiastic assistants, like they have a stake in every good idea so they have to be good. “This is like charm school, but for guys. The catch is they have to get equal marks in all their subjects by the end of the season in order for all of them to win their prizes.”

You got the smallest bit distracted looking over the faces of these five men, wondering how charm school worked as a concept with porn actors. “So the subjects are…?”

“What,” Felix suddenly halted, “not interested in the prizes?”

“I assume it’s money,” you flippantly shrugged, “so what are they supposed to be getting high marks in? I assume I'm working with them, so I'm interested in what they’re doing.”

It was Felix’s turn to shrug. Somehow, he apparently hadn’t predicted this. “The usual: manners, fitness, home economics, academics. They’re all secretly cast to have a specialty, so they have to work together to figure out each other's strengths and weaknesses.”

You finally held up your hands to formally stop him. “I'm sorry,” you politely apologized, “but I think I'm missing something. Where do I fit in?”

“Ah, that's the fun part. We cast them for variety, not for adult content. This will be their first venture.”

“For all of them?” You dubiously marveled, starkly curious how this would affect their performances. Almost no one was ever proud of their first time for more than sentimental reasons.

“Yes, all of them,” Felix proudly nodded, “in our counterpart series, Simkung House.” He slid a new logo across the desk, the first crossed out and a bubbly pink text replacing it, with the silhouette of a -- no, really -- french maid tickling her duster under the chin of the man in the original design. The cartoon male even had blush added. You raised a sharp eyebrow at Felix.

“Simkung? Who's the heartthrob, me or them?”

He jokingly waved you off, as if you could dare be so modest. “You, of course. They’re the stars of the daytime show, and you're the star of the nighttime show. Every good dormitory needs a housekeeper.”

“Daytime show?” You asked, backtracking. Your head was starting to swim with details.

“Yes. We actually have a daytime slot for Noesengnam House.”

“And so this--” you tapped on the gaudy pink logo in front of you, “is airing? On television?”

Felix slowed down a second. “Not quite,” he admitted, “it’s an online subscription for a well-negotiated price. Our clientele are loyal, and word of mouth has been our biggest asset.”

“So I just sleep with everyone.”

“Of course not,” Felix grinned, wagging a cheeky finger at you. “You’re working for a prize as well.” He slid a new graphic across the desk, this one a table of information. One row had a heart, the one below had a broken heart, and the one on the bottom simply had a question mark. The zeroes populating the prize side of the infographic made your pulse race. “Our five budding bachelors are all yours for the taking, but they can’t find out about each other. They each have to think they’re the one you chose. If you bed one of them, that’s 50 million won.”

Felix’s grin grew more wicked as your eyes widened.

“If one of them finds out about the others, you’ll lose 60 million won each. So control of information is key.”

“And what’s this?” You asked suspiciously, pointing at the ominous question mark.

“That,” he explained, “is for added drama being incited. You’ll find out later.”

“So what if I get all five?” You asked, feeling a bit foolish for getting excited.

“Then you get the prize,” Felix said seriously, “There's 500 million won at hand here, but you don't get to earn any of your penalties back for anyone finding out.”

You felt a little nauseous. That much money could get you a modest house, and maybe a car, and maybe all sorts of things.

“Where’s the contract?” You cautiously asked, not wanting to sound too eager.

“Of course,” Felix nodded as he pulled out two packets from under his pile of promotional material, one for each show, “I figured you’ll want copies for your manager--”

“I manage myself,” you firmly replied to Felix’s surprise, taking the copies from him and grabbing a pen from your bag. You flipped through, immediately crossing out any transfer of representation and exclusivity clauses. You had to be able to work after this, and you had to be able to keep up your own streams on the side during production if the schedule allowed. Your pen paused as you hit something interesting.

“What’s this about accommodations?”

“We’ve leased a house for production instead of making a studio more habitable for the cast. You’ll need to be accessible at all times given our schedule.”

“So my stream…?”

“Sadly, you’ll need to take a hiatus,” Felix pouted a little in sympathy, “but we’re confident you’ll find new fans. Now, are you going to use that pen to sign? Or do you want time?”

A miniature war broke out in your head over the prospects, but you quickly tried to decipher why -- the contract practically led in with the fact you’d get five million up front. That would help pay the bills in advance and settle some debt that had sat while money was tight. If you said no, someone else would say yes. You would meet new guys and network, and possibly come out with more money than you had going in.

You signed.

---

Felix wasn’t around on your first day on set, but you had his card in case you needed him. You wheeled your one suitcase to the front door of the handsome house, and an assistant immediately herded you to your room, further away from the chaos currently happening in the main living space. The bottom floor of the house mostly contained the impressive home gym, but appeared to also be where the laundry room and your room were located. You noted cameras tucked into all sorts of corners and crevices, some more obvious than others.

Your room was modest, with a small bathroom attached and its own fair share of cameras around. It was cutely decorated, a little feminine with warm string lights and soft textiles, but not very personal. It could've been any girl's room, but for now, it was yours. Felix had assured you that the cameras in here would only ever be on at night, and always with a signal of one of the bulbs on your string lights blinking. You opened your closet to get a feel of the space and where you could put your things when you saw your uniforms set out for you. A number of soft blouses with coordinating skirts hung on padded hangers, ready for you to mix and match. When you opened the drawers beside them, you found pairs of sensible tights and delicate pantyhose, some patterned and some not. Thankfully, the costumes were pretty sensible. You didn't want to be parading around in a french maid costume, swishing petticoats in boys’ faces or bending at the waist to show off some frilly panties. If the show wanted you to actually seduce these men and do it with some romance and dignity, the modestly cute uniforms would work just fine. You did also bring some of your own clothes, something Felix so graciously insisted upon, so you had options should you grow tired of the same look.

You unpacked and changed into a pale pink blouse with a black pencil skirt and some grey tights before heading upstairs where you were immediately intercepted by another assistant.

“Noona,” the younger man politely greeted, “you must be our housekeeper.” You nodded with a smile in return, popping the first button on your blouse when the assistant held up a lavalier mic to clip on. He quickly averted his eyes as you threaded the cord down and around to your back, endearing you, but just a little.

“What's your name?” You asked, watching for some sound tech to signal that you were fine or needed adjustments.

“I’m Seungmin, noona. You can let me know if you need anything. For now, we'll get you to a stylist and get you today's pages.” Seungmin showed you upstairs to the attic of the grand house, a de facto control center just above the main floor. A stylist swept you up and sat you in a chair while Seungmin fetched your pages. As the first episode, you would really only get a short introduction with the other staff: a cook, and a valet. For some reason, these cast members didn’t also reside in the house, but you didn’t need to question the producers at the moment and cause trouble. The main cast appeared to be downstairs already getting set for their first takes, their voices muffled through the thick rugs placed on the floor on this level. A text beeped through your phone that you had stashed in the pocket of your apron, and you opened it.

>How's my star? Ready for your first day? Can I get a picture? I have the big boss here.

You rolled your eyes at Felix’s antics, but took a reluctantly cute selfie anyhow, even winking for the camera.

>Perfect. It's like your first day of school and I'm so proud lmao. Big boss says to tone down the sass. Clients are more into Hidden Charm.

A heavy sigh fell from your chest. You were already nervous for your first real variety debut, let alone with the show tonight lurking ahead. Seungmin appeared right next to you, ready to lead you downstairs as the stylist set your hair one last time.

The lights in the living room were a bit irritating and took a second to adjust to, but the room itself was great. The home was impeccably decorated, modern and smart and just cozy enough to not feel sterile. You were sat next to your other Staff cast members while the main cast finished up in the dining room, your introductions awkward and brief. An errant bead of sweat traveled from the nape of your neck down your back when the rest of the cast were led into the living room, tempting you to shiver until the crew was done setting up.

You watched, distracted in the middle of rising from your seat when the cast filed in from the dining room down the hall, stretching and chatting as they took a quick break. The boys all had on some coordinating iteration of the same uniform, capitalizing on the ‘college boys in their dorm’ concept the show was toying with. First was Minho, a perfectly pressed crease undisturbed on his slacks despite filming all morning, and his sleeves bundled up over his hands as he nonchalantly entered the room and immediately took a seat on the couch. Next came Jisung, glasses gradually sliding too low and one end of his necktie a little too short. Changbin followed, looking down his long nose at a loose thread on his sweater vest, with Hyunjin right behind stopping him to fuss over it himself. He stooped down to see better and brazenly reached under the material to pull the loose thread back through before being prodded along by Chan pulling up the rear. Hyunjin straightened up, smoothing out his blazer and adjusting his beret before joining the rest of the boys on the long sofa, Minho now having scooted off to sit on a tufted ottoman. Chan casually rerolled his shirt sleeves and brushed a hand through his ashy blonde hair, opting to stand until the crew was ready. The assistant director stepping in to run down the scene finally pulled you out of your reverie. Clearly, your co-stars’ headshots didn't do them justice, but did they think the same of yours?

The scene was simple: following the round-table of introductions in the previous scene, the cast meets the staff before picking roommates. That was it, that was your big debut, and for some reason it was nerve-wracking. You and the staff all nodded greetings before filming even began, before you took your marks off camera. The boys were all polite, but none of them treated you with any familiarity. You would have to remember to ask Felix if they actually had seen your headshot before coming to set.

Finally, cameras rolled. As the Seniors of the group, Minho and Chan led the discussion, but Chan was clearly filling his role as the show’s host. He spoke well, and with plenty of charm, but something definitely struck you as odd about him. You just couldn’t pinpoint what. Your cue snapped you out of your train of thought and you suddenly remembered you were nervous, just as you walked on set and into the irritating lights. The valet introduced himself first, and then the cook, and, to your horror… You forgot your cheesy intro line.

What was it?

Amazing. Your first shot would require a reshoot, and it would be because of a flub.

You momentarily floundered, opting instead to roll with it and improvise.

“Hello, boys,” you beamed as you greeted them, “I’m your housekeeper. Keep a good home while you're here, since I'll be the one cleaning it. I hope you have nothing to hide.” You topped it off with a wink, and the boys all shared a momentary air of surprise. You didn't blame them -- it was awkward, cringy, and too ‘sassy.’ The Big Boss probably hated it.

But the boys laughed. Actually laughed. The take finished without any more problems, and the stylist ran up to reset your hair between takes.

“Was it bad?” You whispered as she touched up your makeup.

“No, I liked it!” She smiled, reassuring you a little. In fact, the AD asked you to run it again the way you had, surprised you could improvise at all. The retake went more smoothly, and you finally allowed yourself a sigh of relief as the scene cut for transition.

As the boys finally wrapped up, you set about your other duties. When the cameras weren't formally set and manned, the planted cameras caught plenty of action from the boys. The valet had it easy; he was come-and-go as the plot necessitated, but you and the cook actually worked. Your contract outlined that while the boys were usually “on” from eight o'clock to eight o'clock, that you were an actual part-timer during the day and working at night. You could “work” your show during the day, but you couldn't interfere with the daytime activities. If you were needed as a housekeeper during the day, then that was priority, and these bookshelves apparently came with dust on them. You set about dusting as the boys transitioned from their scripted work to more casual filming. They each gave you a look as they filed back out of the living room to get set up in their rooms. Some expressions were cryptic, Hyunjin and Chan especially, but some were clear, like Minho’s small grin as he subtly looked you up and down as you reached for a tall shelf. Not wanting to shy away from an opportunity, you smiled back.

The rest of your day was pretty simple, all things considered. You dusted and swept and tidied up a little, but since all five men had just started living in the house, there wasn’t much else at the moment. The house calmed down considerably as the huge crew dispersed for the day, now resembling just a mostly normal home. You hung out and snacked in your room as you heard everyone eating upstairs, only emerging once you heard their chairs scooting free of the dinner table. At that moment, one of the bulbs on your string lights blinked three times and then turned off.

You immediately straightened up where you sat in bed and cheerily waved at the camera. Felix had outlined that you would never have to do much talking if you didn’t feel like it. You rose from your bed, turning to fix the bow in your apron before heading out of your room, giving the camera an extra wave. As you turned to ascend the stairs, a figure landed right on the bottom step in front of you, making you jump with a startled laugh.

“Chan--!” You gasped into a giggle. “I'm so sorry, you surprised me.”

“I’m sorry, noona, I’ll be more careful,” he nodded cordially as he briskly moved to step around you. You quickly took note of the basket in his hands.

“Wait!” You jumped back in front of him. “You don’t have to do your own laundry, you know. Besides, you already have some on night one?” You held your hands open for him to set the basket into and he hesitated before reluctantly giving it up to you.

“It’ll take some getting used to, noona, thank you. I just wanted to take care of my uniform and my street clothes from before I got to set.”

“Fair enough,” you smiled warmly despite his stiff demeanor, turning heel back towards the laundry room as Chan hesitated again before heading back up the stairs. Working quickly, you set about separating the meager pile of laundry and getting them started on washing before you returned to your original plan and headed upstairs yourself.

Through the living room was the dining room, and beyond that was the kitchen down the hall. You peered in, spying a sink full of dishes from dinner. You pulled on some gloves and got to washing when your ears perked up at the sound of the kitchen door swinging open. Just like that, your assumption was right: someone had to be a late-night snacker in the cast. And, of course, it was Minho.

“I'm sure you could’ve eaten with us if you wanted,” Minho slyly grinned as he pulled open a cabinet and peered inside. His uniform was swapped out for a much comfier number, a simple henley shirt and pajama pants. The thin layers hugged the subtle outlines of his figure and suggested that despite his casual nature, he still put in effort for his looks. He came away from the cabinet with a box of cookies and offered it to you. You smiled and silently declined.

“I appreciate that, Minho, but I'm just the help.”

“Yeah, but you’re pretty,” he said bluntly, quietly picking the box open, “and I feel like we could be friends.”

You watched, quietly impressed with how cool Minho could be. He silently, nonchalantly took a bite of a cookie and offered you a bite of the same. Could you really say no to an advance like that?

Sure you could. Where was the fun in making it easy? You spied a camera in the corner of the kitchen, tucked under the hanging cabinets. Stepping aside, Minho instinctively circled with you, opening your conversation up for the camera.

“It’s only the first night, Minho,” you teasingly scolded as you leaned forward and took a bite of the proffered cookie, “you shouldn't be so eager.”

Minho surprised you again, his thumb instantly at your lip and cleaning off a crumb you hadn't even felt.

“Are you sure you're just the help?” He laughed quietly. “You don't act like it.”

“I can act however you want me to,” you teased back, enjoying the way his eyes lit up at your little repartee. You locked gazes as you let his thumb caress your bottom lip, watching for his reaction when dipped your chin to take the digit between your lips for just a moment. You took a step back, leaning back against the counter. His turn now. Minho set the box of cookies down, a devilish grin tugging at his lip as he stepped closer.

When the door swung open once again. You both rapidly turned away from each other, your hands plunging back into the sink and Minho turning back to the cabinets. Changbin blinked at the two of you.

“‘Sup,” Minho cheerily greeted, “I'm making myself something to eat. Want anything?”

“Nah,” Changbin shook his head as his eyes darted between the two of you before settling on the box of cookies on the counter. He stiffly reached between you both and grabbed it. “I'll be just fine with this. Unless you wanted--?”

“No, thanks, that's fine, like I said, making myself something,” Minho enthusiastically prattled on, making himself look busy as he started facetiously searching for pans in the bottom cabinets under the counter. Changbin raised an eyebrow before shrugging, popping open the box of cookies and digging in as he left the kitchen.

A beat passed in the silence as you both waited for Changbin’s footsteps to disappear, but you didn’t get a chance to say anything before you felt Minho press up behind you where you stood at the sink. You let yourself have a small smile as he reached his arms around you, grabbing a kitchen towel and pulling your hands out of the sink to dry them. His head leaned down over your shoulder, his breath tickling your neck as he took his time before you grew impatient. You leaned back against his chest, opening up your neck for him. Minho breathed you in and brushed your hair back, the impression of his smirk pressed into you as his lips brushed against the delicate skin.

You turned in his arms, playfully pushing him back a couple inches by the hips, and he instantly stepped closer, getting on with it already and driving his lips against yours. His flannel pajama pants did next to nothing to hide his growing erection he was currently grinding into your thigh. You kissed him deep, readily spreading your legs for him as his hands searched you and played with the hem of your skirt.

“Right here?” You asked coyly.

“As if we weren't pushing for that this whole time already,” Minho chuckled as he kissed you up and back against the counter. He spun you back around, pressing your hips against the sink as he kissed and nibbled at your neck. “Say it,” he implored.

“Fuck me,” you replied breathlessly, gasping as Minho immediately pulled your skirt up around your hips and bent you over the sink, his fingers dipping below the waist of your tights and tugging them down. His fingertips probed your dripping entrance from behind and you gave an encouraging moan for him to continue. “What,” you grinned back over your shoulder, “chickening out?”

“Sorry, I wasn’t expecting this,” he teased, “you sure you want it? You did say it's the first night.”

“Give it to me,” you said adamantly. Minho smiled back as he pulled out his hard length. One hand gripped your hip as he guided himself in, groaning as your depths took him deep. You squeaked out a surprised moan when he bottomed out before both his hands were on your hips now and pulling you deeper around him.

You clapped a hand over your mouth to keep from getting too loud as Minho fucked you over the sink, his hips bucking hard against you as his length filled you up. Once he set a reliable rhythm, one hand crept lower, between your legs to caress your clit as he fucked you.

“I want to make you cum,” Minho gritted behind you, “tell me how and I'll do it.”

“Keep doing what you’re doing and you will,” you taunted.

Minho seemed pleased with your answer, his fingers still rubbing firm circles on your clit as his cock drove in and out of you even faster. You pushed your hips back against his, gripping the counter hard as the refined angle helped hit your spot more consistently. Minho let out a deep groan at the sound of your quickening whimpers, the sound of you approaching your orgasm making it difficult for him to keep up his own pace.

“Minho,” you gasped, “I’m gonna--!”

You threw your head back as you cried out, quickly muffled when Minho pressed his own hand over your mouth. He kept it there, his other hand still holding firm onto your hip as he fucked you through your orgasm and on his way to his own. You whined and moaned into his palm, the way his own desperate groans combined with his stuttering grip on you making you lightheaded. He came hard, suddenly, emptying himself inside you as he gritted out hushed curses and panted breaths.

You both stayed there, connected at the hips before Minho pulled out and brought you back up from the ledge of the sink. It was sweet, the way he helped put you back together and kissed your cheek.

“Thanks,” he panted with a grin, still catching his breath, “hope this won’t make anything weird.”

“Of course not,” you smiled back as you brushed your fingers through your hair, “we can even do it again some time if you’d like.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. What’re friends for?” You winked, and Minho’s laugh was almost bashful as he playfully nudged your shoulder. His hand lingered on yours before he gave a cute wave and finally walked out of the kitchen.

You waited a beat for Minho’s footsteps to disappear before you found the closest camera in the corner of the kitchen and gave it a wave and a smile. You finished the dishes and left them to dry and exited the kitchen, nearly screaming in surprise as you ran right into someone.

Another assistant, blinking in surprised relief and taking a deep breath.

“Well done, noona,” the assistant laughed quietly.

“Who are--”

“Jeongin, noona, sorry.”

“Where have you been hiding?” You asked, bewildered.

“Upstairs in the control room. I come in when the day crew leaves to help supervise in case you need anything.” He handed you a bottle of water and you nodded your gratitude, uncapping and taking a sip as you looked him over. He was an actual infant. He must've gotten roped into the industry right out of school. “Any other plans tonight?”

“Don’t think so,” you chuckled. “The show won’t be much fun if I get everything done in one week.”

“Sounds good, noona. You’ll be getting some rest then?”

“Sure will.” You waved goodbye to the assistant as he crept back up the stairs and you headed down towards your room, making a quick stop to make a change over in Chan’s laundry for him.

You stripped down in the comfort of your room, waving as the camera blinked on and you pulled on your pajamas. The sheets were welcoming as you crawled into bed, blowing a kiss to your viewers before the camera blinked back off. Your phone buzzed with a text from Felix as your eyelids grew heavy.

>Good show tonight. Great start. The big boss loved it. Can you wear the dark blue blouse tomorrow? I want to see if it looks better than the pink. And don't make tonight a habit. We gotta keep things interesting. ;)

You sighed, now suddenly curious how you would “keep things interesting” between all five boys and wondering who would be next.

#skzsmutnet #stray kids smut #stray kids fanfic #stray kids fanfiction #lee know smut #lee know #lee minho #stray kids minho #kpop smut #kpop fanfiction #stray kids scenarios #stray kids imagines

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izzielizzie · 4 years

Note

A one-shot request I have is Nate and Bronwyn finding out they are having a kid for the first time. I think it would be so cute & that your writing style would execute it really well!

Here it is! I hope you like it! It’s a little long, but I couldn’t resist adding Maeve in there.

Nope. Nope, not happening.

Humans have a habit of thinking unwanted thoughts at the most inopportune times, and Bronwyn Rojas-Macauley was no exception. Thursday morning dawned as cold as it could be in southern California, and for the third day in a row, Bronwyn was too nauseous to even leave her bed.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay home?” Her husband of nearly two years, Nate, was looking at her with concern.

Bronwyn burrowed deeper into her blanket. She was freezing cold, even though it was hot inside and outside of their apartment.

“No, no, you need to work.”

Nate had taken over Myers Construction when the previous owner, the father of their close friend Knox, became too old to work.

“Are you sure?” Nate hesitated at the door of their bedroom, wringing his hands.

Bronwyn mustered her best death glare. “Go. To. Work. I. Can. Take. Care. Of. Myself.” Bronwyn thought she was being intimidating, but her husband just laughed and pulled his phone out of his pocket.

“I’m so sorry, you just look so cute when you try to be angry.”

Before Bronwyn knew what was happening, Nate was taking a picture of her.

“No!” Bronwyn dove under the covers. She could hear her husband laughing all the way out of the door.

Three hours later, Bronwyn awoke feeling more nauseous than she thought was possible. She bound out of bed and into the bathroom, where, for the third day in a row, she retched over the bowl.

When her nausea passed, Bronwyn lay down on the tiled floor and tried to control her shaking. For some strange reason, she thought back to her wedding day, when she and her sister sat in Bronwyn’s changing room. Maeve, her eyes bright against her honey coloured maid of honor jumpsuit (she hadn’t worn a dress that day, as Bronwyn had promised fourteen years prior when the girls were little), was leaning against the dresser teasing her sister.

“I can’t wait to have nieces,” Maeve said as she adjusted her bouquet of white roses, sage flowers, Queen Anne’s Lace, and small orange berries. Maeve and her then boyfriend Luis had found them in the field near the wedding tent in Connecticut, a state Bronwyn had fallen in love with.

“Or nephews,” Bronwyn had added as she ran her hands over her ivory dress, handed down from her mother. The full skirt and embellished lace made her feel like a princess. Everything that day did. Bronwyn hadn’t imagined that she wanted a rustic fall wedding, but apparently she did.

Bronwyn wasn’t sure why that memory floated to the surface of her brain, but the mention of kids made Bronwyn blanch.

Nope. Nope, not happening.

She couldn’t be pregnant right? She was only twenty five. That was too early to have kids. Bronwyn could feel herself hyperventilating, and she needed to calm down. She did the only thing she could think to do. She pulled herself off the floor, dragged herself to her room, and called the one person who could keep a level head in any crisis.

“So let me get this right. You think you’re pregnant.” Maeve paced around the room, her arms behind her back, the new diamond ring glinting on her finger.

“No Maeve. I dragged you here for laughs.” Bronwyn was becoming nauseous again, and in turn, a little irritable.

Maeve turned to her sister. “Sissy, just shut your mouth and let me think.”

Bronwyn did as she was told, mostly because she didn’t think opening her mouth was a good idea anyway.

“Okay, I’m gonna go to the drugstore and buy you a bunch of pregnancy tests. You stay here and pray,” said Maeve, picking up her car keys from the coffee table.

“Pray for a baby, or for a false result?” Bronwyn asked, a bit of her humor shining through. Although, honestly, Bronwyn would have liked for someone to tell her how to feel about this.

Maeve’s expression softened. “That’s for you to figure out, love.”

Five hours and seven positive tests later, Bronwyn fluttered around her apartment nervously, waiting for Nate to come home. Maeve had offered to stay, but Bronwyn had sent her younger sister away. Away to your fiancé you go, Bronwyn had said. Maeve had just rolled her eyes, but Bronwyn could tell her sister was smiling.

Bronwyn didn’t know what to tell her husband. On one hand, she knew that Nate would be happy. Children had always been something they wanted. But they were twenty five and Bronwyn wasn’t even a full lawyer yet. They were both paying off student debts and they didn’t have enough money for baby clothes, and baby formula, and oh god she’d have to give birth. Her mother had called it the most traumatic experience of her life, which, frankly, was a little mean of her to say to Bronwyn’s face. Bronwyn was broken out of her reverie by the sound of the front door opening loudly. Bronwyn jumped, and toppled off the ottoman she was sitting on.

“Bronwyn! Bronwyn!”

Nate came running towards her, and he dropped to the ground in front of her. He brandished his phone, and Bronwyn could see a text from Maeve:

She’s pregnant

“Bron, is that true?” Nate’s blue eyes were wide and he looked scared out of his mind. The fear on her husband’s face broke something in Bronwyn, and she started crying harder than she ever had. Harder than when she thought Maeve was going to die from cancer when she was ten. Nate didn’t say anything, just pulled her into his strong arms and held her. He waited until her sobs subsided and pulled away from her, his hands firmly grasping her shoulders. “It’s true isn’t it?”

Bronwyn nodded and wiped away her tears.

“Bronwyn! Why are you crying! That’s great!”

“You’re not upset? Or scared?”

“Upset! No, hell no. Bronwyn. You’re my wife. Why would I ever be upset with you?”

“I don’t know. I was just so scared. We have no money. And no plans. Our apartment has one bedroom, Nate.”

“Then we’ll upgrade. Don’t worry. We’ll make this work. I promise.”

“You’re not scared?”

Nate’s dark blue eyes met Bronwyn’s grey ones. “I am scared shitless Bronwyn. But I do know that I love you. And that kid. And I know that we are going to be just fine. Because we always have been. Because you are the strongest woman I have ever met.”

Bronwyn broke down in tears again, and Nate pulled her back into his arms. They stayed there all night, reveling in the feeling of being together and happy.

Ahh that was so much fun to write! Please, feel free to ask for more!

#omg my first request i hate it 🥺#my writing style changed so much #this was over a year ago!!!#(i don't actually hate it but ahhhh)#izzielizzie's fics

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jamiebluewind · 4 years

Text

Fantasy High Characters 2.12

I'll go back to ep 2.11 eventually, but I wanted to get this one out while it's still the newest. As always, let me know if I need to edit or add anything and tag/ask/PM me about art and stories so I can check them out!

Warnings: canon typical violence, gore, blood, gross mention, vomit, fantasy racism mention, disturbing imagery, panic attack mention, threats, murder, alcohol, injury

***

Ally (on the fig/ayda kiss): Two young Sheldon's makeing out XD

Lou (on the second fig/ayda kiss): Yes-ah! Yes-ah! Yes-ah! Yes-ah! I bless this union! Yes-ah!

Brennan (on forgetting to change the music for the arcane crime scene): -this is the wrong music for this moment

***

New Characters

Craf-me Rootdrinker

Gnome and druid

Gave his life 200 years ago to reclaim Arborly from the curse

Was very kind

Avoided "cleric nonsense"

Nuathura (New-ah-thoo-ra) the Fox

Older red fox who was awakened as a pup by Craf-me (was his familiar/companion)

Spry and slinky despite his age

Fluent in silvian, elvish, and gnomish

Runs the town (basically the mayor) and offers the adventurers every resource in their village at their disposal

Appreciates it when he is shown respect and is more open to outsiders and outsider tech than Mira, saying that the Nightmare King was once defeated by a strange band of Solesians and that they were delighted to have them

Likes shrimp and was given one by Fabian and four (one on each paw) by Kristen

Was told the crown of the Nightmare King was kept deep under a pit under a pyramid where it could never be found (and was understandably upset to discover that it was instead kept on a shelf in a dean's office and now in the hands of Adaine's mom who is trying to get into the forest)

Mira Silverbough/Silverbow

Wood elf and leader of the rangers who guard the town (of which there are 40 standing on bolders with arrows nocked when the teens wake up)

Intense angular face with steal gray eyes and long black hair on the top of her head (that might hang down in her face) with shaved sides that appear to be turning gray/salt and pepper

Dressed in dark forest green with leather archer's bracers and gloves with

"Ah. Not TRULY children. These are almost adults grown. Come here!" *gestures for the teens to come over*

Racist against those with infernal lineage, goblins, and orcs, but seems to be racist against all other races in general

Was put off by technology she doesn't understand

Referred to Fig as a troubadour (poet who writes verses to music or specificly a French medieval lyric poet) and the van as very small house of wheels

Furrowed her brow at Adaine being the Oracle

Second to Nuathura and very protective of him

Krumpkin Springbill

Head of the Tinkerer's Hall

Round as a pumpkin with a shiny bald head and a mustashe like a push broom

Dressed in soot covered goggles (which he pushed up) and a leather apron filled with tools

He and the other gnomes come up to Gorgug's mid thigh

Two unnamed gnomes

Person with a huge handlebar mustache and a top hat with gear in the side of it

Woman with folded canvas ornithopter wings

Unnamed Bartender

Works at The Owl And The Harp

Was told by Adaine that she was looking for her mom and was shocked by her crystal (used to show him a picture)

Said Elianwyn was staying on the top floor, but thought the kids couldn't afford the substantial outstanding debt she left behind (after leaving without checking out) of 10 gold

Was paid 12 gold by Adaine, then 5 gold by Riz, then another 5 gold by Riz (which was wet), and shown a very round frog by Adaine

Told them that they were acting very suspicious despite being warned about them by the rangers

Most likely has no idea the damage Elianwyn did to the suite she was renting

Vraz the Mean

Executive Potenti of the Dominion of Avernus (first/topmost layer of hell) and Arch Secretary to Blozo the Undimenished who is the regnant of Sloth

Came through a burning oval doorway opened by Fig's magic (which opens to red firy sky and blasted red plane)

Dressed in black steal plate armor and horned helmet, covering all but her face

Beautiful woman's face with porcelain skin, ruby red lips, and a seem at the edge of her helmet where the rest of her skin had been flayed off her body

Burnt scarred skeletal remains of wings

Carrying a burning scroll to serve to Fig

Killean

Wood elf, resident of Arborly, drunkard, and a cruel man

Worked for Elianwyn and was rude to the tinkerers while picking up wax, ink components, and fiddle faddle for her

Had short cropped brown hair, hazel eyes, and a small amount of facial hair

Seen in scry as a puppet with a slit throat. Not wearing a shirt or boots as he left bloody footprints. Blood dripped from his burning dull red glowing eyes into his beard. His sternum was broke open and a fire was roiling within the open exposed wound where a gem was glowing.

Shone a dull red glow 20 feet ahead of the group which causesd a path to open in the dark, twisted, and grarled forest like a subterranean tunnel

Established Characters

Elianwyn (Adaine's mom)

Stayed at The Owl And The Harp for several months

Kept to herself, save sending Killean to get things for her at the Tinkerer's Hall (they had spell components that could be used by both them and wizards)

Vanished with Killean and Aelwyn the night Aelwyn arrived

Murdered Killean and did a spell that left him a puppet with Gorthalax's gem in his chest

Went into the forest, using puppet Killean to cause the briars to retract

Was wearing a deep elven traveling cloak and covered in nasty scars related to a curse (but might be due to a Fallinel curse and not the original crown curse)

Aelwyn

Arrived at Arborly a night before the bad kids (and 2 nights before the bad kids talked to the locals) and was still uncontrollably and explosively gassy (which reaked), worse for wear, and started crying

Changed into wood elven travel garb and traveled with Elianwyn into the forest

Dispelled Adaine's scry without seeing it

Calina

Told Kristen that if they make it through the wall, she would kill them all (starting with Tracker) and that the only reason they were alive was because they were a nuisance (not a full problem) and never got between her and what she wanted

"I want you to stay out of that fucking forest."

Riz didn't see Calina despite being right there and the grass wasn't bent or disturbed where she was supposed to have been standing

Pok's sleeve wasn't disturbed where she was supposed to be standing either and she couldn't drink (or possibly hold anything at all)

She gave Riz sleep paralysis, but never hurt him

Most likely doesn't exist anywhere physically

Is in their heads, but still had to ask questions, so she can project herself into their minds but not read their minds

Note: The unmade goddess turned her familiar (a black cat) into a plague

Kristen

Told Tracker she shouldn't be guilty about passing on any kind of sickness because she believed it had to do with both of them due to her secrets combined with Tracker being a carrier

Suggested doing spells through a dental dam as she had a bunch from Jawbone (who kept insisting that she use them)

Found a bag of loose crab meat and used it to make crab nachos (which she always makes when she has the choice as her parents always made it for parties and never let her have any)

Got drunk and tried to make Riz kiss a shrimp when he got upset, offered Fig a "shrimp secret", tried to throw Fig 2 beers (which Gorgug smashes and she thought was awesome), called Gorgug a scientist when he said he was a little crab, and called Riz "king crab king!" when he was down on himself.

Saw Calina when nobody else could and responded by screaming "Fuck you!" at her

Drank a cortada and stayed cool while Calina was there (talking shit about her as Calina threatened her and the group) but freaked out after she left, asking everyone to hold her and dogpile on her before she vomited coffee and shrimp

Was okay once she was pressed into the grass by all her friends

Tried to get Tracker to stay in town and not go into the forest, offering handcuffs and asking as officer Kristen (and even colonel Kristen using an order)

Tracker

Still rocked after the Galicia sister thing saying that the elven church and the priestesses she knows are nothing alike, but they both worship the same goddess and what the elves did was causing her to have a lot of questions for the first time

Took precautions during things like the life transference spell to avoid passing on lycanthropy, but had never thought to protect herself from something coming back the other way

Had a good talk with Sandra Lynn and gave her a solid shovel talk

Translated the gist of what the others were saying in elvish (to Nuathura and wood elves) for Gorgug and Ragh

Got drunk, balanced crab nachos on her head, and told the others to "Let [Fig] use the shrimp tub!" which resulted in a "shrimp tub" chant

Comforted a freaked out Kristen by rubbing circles in her back

Shivered when she entered the Shrine of Thorns, her eyes flashing yellow as she suddenly felt nauseous and generally not good as the shrine basically repelled her until she exited it

Adaine

Had a message chat that's mostly jokes and memes (that Fig wasn't in on due to losing her phone)

Wanted a fluffy robe

Her crystal has meditation and non-fiction (like a hystory on mage hand) instead of music

Found bellinis and caviar to eat (instead of crab nachos) and shared with Fabian

Drank half a beer, got a little drunk, wondered where Fig was (but was silenced by Kristen), wanted to go in the hot tub with Fig, and pretended to be a crab

On rather they should be honest with the wood elves "Maybe? It makes me nervous. Everything majes me nervous. Sure. Why not?"

Slipped behind Fig during the wood elf standoff and held up a fist while saying "yeah!" to support her, but jumped in with her status as the Oracle, saying it was a prophesy and going into the forest was "A thing we have to do." (which made the wood elves lower their bows and whisper to each other)

Admitted that her sister and mother were trying to get into the forest too, but that they were working against them

Started searching for Calina nearby after her sister booted her from scrying

Told the bartender at The Owl And The Harp that she was looking for her mom (with picture) and paid off her outstanding debt of 10 gold for the suite (with a 2 gold tip) before going upstairs to discover the crime scene her mother left behind

Ragh

Found a bunch of kippers for Fabian

Munched on an entire bone in ham

Got drunk, got shirtless and started screaming "More lobster! You're not lobster enough!" at Tracker

Pointed out the obvious (one guy in town has 4 refridgerators) when Fabian was worried about introducing tech too soon

Gorgug

Got drunk, did a "crab stand", made his arms look like a crab, chanted "crab king" at Ragh, became crab king, said the shrimp tub was not for peasants (when Fabian told Fig about it), smashed the two beers Kristen threw to Fig out of the air (followed by a celebratory yell and him pumping both arms in the air while the bloodrush boys chanted "hoot growl!"), said "I'm a little crab." to Kristen, and finally gave Riz the crab king crown and said Riz? *points at him* You're the crab king now.

Walked up to Nuathura to say hello in gnomish when he heard Nuathura mention tinkerers

Told the tinkerers that he repaired the Hangman, but failed to make a working mechanical butt for him

"Showed" the tinkerers his crystal and headphone as well (and by that I mean the were crawling all over him like excited 5 year olds)

Riz

Started setting up a tiny conspiracy board in Hollyhill minutes after getting there

When asked how he got a certain picture of Kristen, he said "You know... you take pictures; you hang um. That's what you do."

Said "I'm gonna snoop around. In a suspicious way, NOT in a party way." and finds Spyre tech and receipts showing that the guy is expensing stuff to his corporate card that have nothing to do with his work, resulting in him telling the others that it was a tax haven and illegal, so he felt less bad about having a party and more like Robin hood stealing his beer.

Got drunk, somehow stated acting/dancing like a shrimp, pointed out that Gorgug was a crab, started crying and got emotional because "Shrimp are so little and sometimes they get caught in the nets and stuff!" and told Kristen "I'm not gonna kiss the shrimp! It's dead Kristen. And we killed it.", cried again before Fabian comforted him, and became the crab king saying "Honestly, I just wanted to be the crab king. This whole time I've just been the shrimp and I feel like I've been the shrimp my whole life and I just wanna be the crab king. It means a lot that you guys made me the crab king."

Is super hung over the next day as well as super sweaty and nervous about being around a bunch of people, but still tells the elves that there is a demonic plot

Saw that something was off with Fig and thought for a moment that she might have kissed someone, but ends up going with "Did you have... good crab?"

Discovered what his fate would have been if the group hadn't rescued him when Adaine scrys Killean

Vomited over seeing Kristen vomit

Didn't see Calina despite looking exactly where Kristen was and checked the grass with his magnifying glass to find that the grass wasn't bent or disturbed where Calina was supposed to have been standing

Gets super sweaty and unhelpful when trying to talk to the bartender

Had no idea when to stop trying to bribe the bartender and said that the money was so wet because he ate a lot of shrimp

Fabian

Got in a small argument with Adaine on rather or not it was okay to touch your dad's butt (he said it's fine)

Still has the sheet with him as well as the sword Faun-drang-goorh

Got drunk, excitedly said Riz was a shrimp and that Gorgug was a crab, said "I'm a little shrimp!" over and over while dancing, tried to explain everything that had happened to Fig (including that the hot tub upstairs was filled with shrimp), tried to comfort a crying Riz by telling him "The Ball, it's going to be alright. The shrimp will be fine.", and wrapped Riz in his sheet, looked him dead in the eyes (with one hand on either side of Riz while gripping the sheet), and told him "I believe in you. *licks lip* Spring break.", before giving Riz his first ever bardic inspiration

The next day, gave Nuathura a shrimp from his pocket

Rebbed engine of Hangman as Kristen tried to give an inspiring speech

Fig

When opening Hollyhill, said "What did I say? Has your girl ever not delivered?" followed by a resounding "Yes!" from the group

Found a ghost white mushroom with a black skull imprint on the top of it while looking for psychedelics and wanted to eat it

Hears whispering coming from the briar wall

"Sometimes one of the fun things about friendship is just being a chorus on nonsense together and you don't have to hear each other; it just feels really good to talk really loud."

Sees nonsense as a good way to escape when things get too heavy or dark

Talked down about her abilities, especially when compared to Ayda

The thorns don't try to attack her, so she used burning hands on the thorns and the vines sucked up the magic, moving it to the Shrine of Thorns and leaving behind a charred handprint

Didn't want Ayda to know she was a virgin

Cast greater invisibility on her and Ayda

Rolled bad on insight checks on Ayda (trackerbees take two! XD)

Is terrified of saying nice things to others and vomits a little in a bush before telling Ayda "I actually think you're perfect the way you are" before skateboarding away and down an 80 foot near vertical tree, coming out of invisibility so Ayda could see her trick.

Couldn't go anywhere on her skateboard in the ferns and dirt

Wrote up a "contract" after Ayda's confession that said if Ayda made fun of her for what she was about to say, she could give her a wet willy. Before Ayda could sign, she took Ayda by the chin, said "Just so you know, I've never done this as myself before', kissed her (as the fire on Ayda's head swelled out and she became uninvisible), and tried to skateboard away behind a tree, peaking out to see what Ayda thought of it.

Slinked out from behind the tree, apologizing and admitting all of it terrified her before Ayda asked for another kiss.

Admited she started the whole party so Ayda would stick around.

Made out with Ayda until a bit before dawn and tried very hard to get Ayda to stay

Gave Ayda the ear cuff from her left ear which has blood on it (Ayda replied that she will treasure it and can use it)

Went back to Hollyhill to find her drunk friends before locking herself in the room with the hot tub and was still kinda pruney the next day

Name drops Grover to the wood elves, explaining that he offered to let them stay there (to try and deescalate things with the rangers)

Shook hands with Nuathura the Fox

Was honest to the wood elves (that the group were going into the Nightmare Forest), resulting in the rangers pulling back their bowstrings (and her backtracking)

Random note: Try to contact your warlock patron Fig!!!

Burned 1 or 2 luck points to keep a perceptive Riz from finding out that she made out with Ayda

Found a charred handprint in the shrine of thorns and recognized it as the same one her magic left at the top of briars and that the vines took somewhere

Lied to Tracker and Kristen, saying she was up by the briars working on song

Used burning hands again, causing the fire to spread into a stretching oval shaped burning doorway

Was served a burning scroll by Vraz the Mean on behalf of the regnant of Sloth

Ayda

Was invited to the party (which the group decided to have immediately, starting at 1 or 2 in the morning)

Stood in a corner looking around awkwardly before/during the party before following Fig out

Thought nonsense was bad, but Fig showed her that it could also be good and made her willing to try it

To Fig about disguising herself "Uh... yeah. That's interesting. I... can't understand that because if I was you, I wouldn't want to be anyone else because you're... very exceptional."

On Fig saying that she was different than Ayda thought she was "Being mistaken about the nature of something and discovering its true nature is my favorite thing in the world to do."

Turned herself and Fig invisible (look like a translucent version of themselves, like a pale outline to each other) and flew to the briar wall to give Fig a closer look.

Lit with Fig in the low looped saddle of two treetrunks that were fused together right next to the briar wall

Ayda's flaming hair and wings still cast a dull glow on her surroundings, even while invisible

Complemented Fig on her magic

Analyzed the wall and saw it was a very powerful and old abjuration (keeping them out but also keeping other things in) keyed to powerful devils (arcons, princes, and monarchs) where even dimension door would cause all roads and pathways to lead them back out.

Thorns tried to attack her

Thinks that everything Fig has done has been cool

"We all have a nasty legacy, in one way or another."

Laughed with a squawk

Spent a lot of lifetimes building Compass Points Library

Is part phoenix, so when she dies, she comes back but with no memory from her previous incarcerations. She left extensive notes and instructions for herself. This incarnation is 17 years old, but an Ayda has been on Leviathan for a little over 150 years

On why she never just reinvents herself when she reincarnates "Every time I come back, I don't know anything and I guess I trust the versions of me that knew more? I don't have a lot of self confidence and I don't... want... to make mistakes."

Said she could die when she goes back to Leviathan attempting to shut down the library as it's a dangerous city.

"The future's never guaranteed. We don't have anything but today and even that might get cut short."

Said she had information for Fig, but would only share it if Fig signed a contract (on ancient wizard scroll held in a binder that turns into bright fire and whips up into her palm when signed) that stated that Fig wont make any inference based on the information or think anything judgemental or critical of her. The information is "At any waking moment outside of combat that you and I have been together, if you had tried to kiss me on the mouth, it would have been received favorably."

Said Fig's contract was less of a contract and more of a threat

After Fig ran to hide behind a tree, she asked if it's normal for people to run away after that (kissing)

Shed firy tears over Fig starting a party so she would stay, admitting parties frighten and terrify her, but she stuck around because Fig was there

"In this version of my life, this is the greatest moment of it."

Enthusiasticly initiated their 3rd kiss

Said the library meant a lot to many past hers (her current incarnation and 3 others)

Offered to research plane shift for Fig at no charge and said that people ask things of her, but even if she cared about them, they never cared about her (save Fig who does care which makes it different and that's exciting)

Pulled out a firy feather with a squawk and handed it to Fig (if Fig holds if aloft and says her name, she will know)

Said if anything happened to Fig in the nightmare forest, she would "... start over" because she would never be able to forgive herself

Said she would go back to Leviathan to research Plane Shift and would return after that, intending to shrink the library later

"Goodbye for now. By the nine winds and the seven stars and all the secret names of the earth and beyond, I shall see you again. This is my vow." (resulting in Fig replying "Fuck yeah [is/that's] my vow." and Ayda saying "God you're great and cool. Goodbye!")

Sandra Lynn

Was more affectionate with Gilear than she had been the rest of the trip

Left Hangman in charge while she slept in the van

Spoke to the wood elves and Nuathura on behalf of the teens (while they slept til 1pm)

Gilear

Was trying to move the van to get ready for the teleport to Leviathan early that morning. Had the van in neutral with the door open when he tried to let his feet skim over the morning dew on the grass. He had put his apple in his mouth to shift when his trousers caught in the axle of the wheel, tearing them and sucking him under the left wheel well (WHY DIDN'T VAN SAY ANYTHING to anyone!???)

Really had to pee even before he got stuck and only made it 10 minutes before he gave up

The apple was jammed into his mouth (and later covered in ants). He couldn't bite through it because it was pressed against the carriage of the van and he couldn't scream to loud because ants would get in his mouth

Overheard the dance and spent most of his day sweating and crying

Was found later that night, still caught in the front left wheel well, covered in rubber residue and oil, with a browing ant covered apple in his mouth

Didn't need medical attention, but admitted that he did piss himself while under there

Got a hug from Kristen, Gorgug took his apple and tossed it, and Fabian tried to be nice to him about Hallariel not noticing him missing until Gilear asked for an honest response, which he answered with "Of course not Gilear, don't be dumb!" to which Riz said "Guys, he's not dumb; he's just pathetic." (Also found out Hallariel ate all his yogurt)

Adaine mended one of the tears in his pants, but then said "I'm not gonna mend your piss pants, here's another pair." and gave him new ones from her jacket followed by a boot cut pair of pants, Chelsea boots, denim vest, chambray embroidered shirt, and a beret. The kids (including Fabian) approved of his new look. His favorite part of the outfit was the beret.

Said he preferred pants with very narrow ankles and a wide front and back carriage to the seat

Fig told him that she loved him and apologized for not realizing where he was

The teens gave him one hot tub to himself

Was given a massage by Sandra Lynn while laying on one of the day beds in one of the public rooms (when she told him that he needed to make it a part of his routine, he responded that he was extremely broke)

Slept in the van that night

Spoke to the wood elves and Nuathura on behalf of the teens (while they slept til 1pm)

Decided to make sandwiches for everyone for their trip and looked a little different than normal, stood up straighter, and was wearing his new outfit

Baxter

Sat on a branch on top of Hollyhill and slept outside

Grabbed Kristen and Tracker in his claws while Fig and Sandra Lynn road on his back to Shrine of Thorns

Van

Left inside fenced in area at Hollyhill (can't cast fly on him)

Hallow extends out 60 feet from him, so the kids camped outside on matresses from the house

Hangman

Was left in charge during the party, but told the kids "No rules."

In the middle of a dramatic speech defending Gorgug, the tinkerers jumped on him (to examine him with their artificers glasses), resulting in him very much wanting to run them over

***

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talnunes · 4 years

Text

Depths of the Game

“He’s my brother, Jenny. Take what you need and go, that’s all you need to do.”

There are a lot of things I was feeling at that moment. Anger. Misplaced anger that should have targeted my unrelenting naiveté and blissful ignorance that everyone around me tried time and time again to uproot --- but instead, my brother held that burden. He didn’t understand what laid outside of his tunnel vision; deeply seeded creeds placed trust in only what was orthodox. It wasn’t his fault, being brought up the way he was. Then again, I was reared by the same community. Fostered within the same traditions.

If I hadn’t done what I did, we would all still be one big happy family, woven into the life of a one-sided brotherhood with a bone to pick. Living amongst insurrectionists thinking in black or white.

Maybe my brother was right. Leaving will cause just as much pain as staying.

And maybe I would have been okay with that; in another life, I’d have grown into the body they carved, filled the shoes they had tailored.

“He’s a defector, Grant. All of the sacrifices we have made, the people we’ve killed and the people we’ve lost, has to be for a reason. You believe that, or else you wouldn’t be here.” If Grant wanted to say something, he gave no indication, but he knew as well as I did that she was right. We wouldn’t be here if he had any sort of doubt.“ If everyone just up and left like him, our whole lives would be spent in vain. We can’t just let this go.”

Grant stayed silent but I knew her words weren’t falling on deaf ears. He was listening.

“What are you saying, Jenny?”

I felt nauseous as I began to follow every diverging path that led me to this stalemate. A lie here and a lie there, a protest to spite every single person who expected me to follow them in darkness, a blindfold wrapped tightly around my head with a single hole poked into it. So small that I would become tunnel visioned, having no other option but to stumble close behind, or else I would lose myself to the night.

All this time, I have been racking up my karmic debt without dwelling on the score I would later find myself knee-deep in. I was so angry and afraid that I lashed out at the slightest provocation.

I don’t regret anything now that my bill has come due.

But I never wanted Grant to pay as well. He was just a pawn.

“What I am saying is we have to make an example, as convincing as possible without leaking any… ‘sensitive information’.” Jenny said, with venomous sympathy seeping through every syllable.

I felt his stomach churn, his heart stop, waiting for what inevitably came out of her mouth next. The tension was cutting deep, releasing that rotten tightness in your chest when the anticipation became too much to handle. When your brain runs its 10k, anxiously kicking up all the worst-case-scenarios it can come up with, and you think - stop being so pessimistic, it’ll never happen.

And every single one of them happens.

“ You’re a loose end, Grant. I don’t like loose ends.”

The sound of metal sliding on metal bore goosebumps across my body and sent a cold shiver down my spine. There was a shift in the air, a change in atmosphere, as my brother's fear became heat spilling from a radiator, digging itself into every inch of my body.

The steel snapped sliding back into place, producing a final click as I imagined the small little ball of metal alloy shift into place. Ready to extinguish the only spark left in my life. The only family I have left.

My buried screams, submerged underneath a thick layer of cloth wrapped tightly around my mouth, kept distracting the running time bomb in my head--- it’s all my fault, it's all my fault, it’s all my fault.

Even though a bag had been placed over my head, I still knew the positions of every piece on the board; Jenny lied straight ahead, one move away from taking my brother out of the picture. Grant stood across from her, a pawn in both of our plays, blind to the fact that we both used him to further our own agendas. To advance our other pieces.

And then there was me, the rook, trapped between the queen and a hard place.

Ironically, I was cut off from the game, because once again, when I screamed, they couldn’t hear.

But that didn’t stop me from screeching my throat raw, trying to keep distracted that pestering mind of mine, the time bomb inside my own head --- it’s all my fault, it's all my fault, it’s all my fault, it’s all my f-

“But I’d rather not lose the only tie I have left to mom.”

Grant let a sigh of relief escape his lips as Jenny assumably lowered the gun. My brother laughed nervously, probably scratching the back of his neck like he usually does when he's nervous. I did the same, but it was nothing more than a mumble. An echo from six feet under. Even though his bounty was cleared, I still had mine to pay off.

And it was all I had.

“I do, however, need to know you’ll keep your lips sealed. So consider this a test.” She was pacing now, circling my brother like prey. The gun in her hand clicked and clacked as she moved it from one hand to another, deciding on what to do next. Apparently, she decided.

The sound of her elbow joint cracking as she extended her hand registered in my head at the same time as the gun switching handlers gripped my heart like an iron fist.

No, that can’t be right. There were a million other possibilities. Maybe Jenny put the gun down, realizing that she can’t kill me. Maybe she was simply stretching, getting ready for what inevitably came next. Maybe...maybe she doesn’t even have a gun. Maybe every machination my brain has constructed is false. Yes, yes, that has to be right. She’s just here to reprimand us, nothing more. It’s not my fault, it’s-not-my-

“Fuck!”

The bag over my head flew off, scratching my neck and ears as it left my eyes at the mercy of the sunlight. My arms involuntarily flew upwards to shield them, but were stopped abruptly by a zip tie tied around my wrists.

“If you do as I say, I’ll let you live. It’s as simple as that Grant.” My eyes were starting to recover, but not enough to piece together what was in front of me. The scene was blurry, but I was able to make out a figure in front of me --- whether it was Jenny or Grant, I had no idea. Other than that, I couldn’t figure out where we were and if I had any chance of getting away. I had a feeling though that my sudden nausea was a clue.

“It-it’s not and you of all people you should know that, Jenny.” Grant’s voice cracked, a flaw exposed by the sudden loss of composure. Control was slipping from his grasp like time on a clock. And he didn’t have much of that left.

“And you of all people should understand why I’m doing this!” Patience. It was never one of Jenny’s virtues. Quite frankly, she doesn’t have many at all.

She was blessed with justice, if you asked her.

If you ask me, she's a self-righteous bitch with a god-complex.

It makes her good at her job.

“He’s my brother.” Grant mumbled.

“There's no other way.”

“There's always another way! Jenny we can still go back-”

“Stop with this shit.” She screamed.

“I can’t!”

Silence. With both of their voices stopped dead in their tracks, I could finally hear myself breath. I could hear my own heartbeat trying to escape my chest. I could hear...waves. Punching the side of a boat. Rising and falling, ready to catch me if I fall. When I fall.

She brought me to the middle of the ocean to die.

This was my burial ground.

No one would hear my screams. No one would see life leave my body except my brother and Jenny. No one would even know, except for the lies they would be fed.

And just like that, I would be forgotten.

“What are you doing Grant? I’m giving you a chance!” Jenny was breathing heavily, taken aback by his refusal to listen to orders. “I don’t want to kill you.”

Grant stayed silent.

My vision was clearing and I could just about make out who was in front of me --- who my executioner was. Jenny or Grant. Grant or Jenny. Jenny or Grant. Grant or Jenny.

“I don’t want to kill you.” She repeated, this time barely a whisper.

Even if I could see, it wouldn’t matter.

Both figures were now standing in front of me, one guiding the others hands upwards, holding on to their shoulder.

They stopped rising until they were pointing right at my head.

And finally I could see.

“It’s easy,” Jenny whispered into my brother's ear, “All you need to do is pull.”

Tears were streaming down his face, and it hurt knowing I did this to him. But I knew he wouldn’t pull the trigger. I was his brother. He came all this way to protect me, only to be the one to kill me? No. No matter how much shit I’ve pulled in my life, he still loved me. And now that the gun was in his hands, I can bypass my karma. I can live. All he needs to do is do the right things. I should trust him, shouldn’t I?

Our eyes met, blue on gray, to create a stormy sky. He was scared, nervous, torn, sympathetic. He was everything I knew he would be, but there was something else in there.

“Every second you waste, Grant, the more pain he is in.” Jenny coaxed my brother forward, each step bringing the reality that I suddenly didn’t know what my brother would do closer.

Before I knew it, I was staring down the barrel of a gun.

There were a lot of things I was feeling at this moment. Anger. Anger that I let myself believe I would get away with this without punishment.

Anger that I let my brother tell me I have to stay.

And anger that I ever had an ounce of sympathy for Grant.

Because he was going to be the one to put the bullet in my head.

Jenny backed off of my brother.

I shook my head violently, pleading with him, but I had no influence over him anymore. He was her pawn now, and she knows his virtue is loyalty.

I was alone.

“Sorry Koda, this game was only ever gonna end one way.”

I closed my eyes.

“And I never lose.”

#writing #creative writing #original story #science fiction #novel in progress #betrayal #emotions

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thewolfisawake · 4 years

Note

The Tales series if you haven't gotten it already

Favorite character:

Undeniably goes to Yuri and Velvet. What can I say? I’m into the dark-haired protagonists that ‘aren’t like the others.’ I can get onboard with why they come to the conclusions they do even if I don’t think it’s write. With Yuri, I admire the ability to do when others cannot. And can’t deny, he made me laugh the most with his sense of sarcasm and panache. Plus that voice...Troy Baker, they did you dirty. Meanwhile with Velvet I was like ‘yes, let’s be married in this quaint little town together’ in the beginning. She was just cute. Then it became attraction of ‘I don’t give a damn what happens to this world so long as I get what I want’ and ferocity.

Least Favorite character:

Emeraude. Like what the fuck is your problem lady? You’re getting jealous of a child. Your feelings towards someone should be directed towards that person, not abusing some third-party that doesn’t even understand what you two have going on.

Cumore. Fuck him too. For a side character that you don’t even really fight, he’s a real ass that his death was catharsis. Pure catharsis. There was no a single moment that he showed any redemption. He was a cruel bastard that held no regard for human life. He was willing to make excuses for anyone under him to get in trouble. He lied to people to enslave them and work them to death. He dragged people into the desert to look for an impossible item and left them without resources to die. Fuck him so much. He might’ve been cartoonishly evil compared to some not nice guys but those actions translate to atrocities.

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon):

Selfish Coexistence (Basically the Berseria Party) - Their relationships seem so hard to define to me as they all use each other for various reasons. They also seem to develop care through their selfishness and all of the either are like *shrug* guess we’re doing this now or ‘what is this I’m feeling?’ ‘emotions?’ ‘disgusting.’ There’s an understood protection amongst all of them and then a fierce rationalization for their action rather than saying ‘because I like you okay!’ They’re very smart yet they’re all dumbasses and I love them all.

Ludju - You know what’s better than one adorkable dumbass? Two adorkable dumbasses. I like Ludger and Jude’s relation better than any I have unlocked during the story. Jude by nature is very caring but it just is different with Ludger? Main thing I can note is that Jude touches Ludger a lot. Like a firm, ‘I’m right here’ shoulder touch. A nudge in the arm. Catching when about to faint. And I just don’t see Jude do the same with anyone in his party in either game. I just find their interactions from the extra scenes are really cute.

Velvet/Niko - “If you were a boy, I think I’d be in love.” Gurl she don’t have to be a boy to kiss fall in love. Shipping a Main Character with an NPC? Is it madness? Absolutely. But I had feelings about that from the very beginning. Like this could’ve been so fucking sweet. Could’ve had it all. And then the Advent happened.

Alvin/Presa - Oh man. Ooooh man. This was just a curiosity on the way of Tale’s of Xillia’s path. Like it was a lady that lent to Alvin’s skeevy or ladykiller vibe he gave off. And it was like was she just a jilted one-time or something else? And the answer seemed like ‘something else’ but didn’t know what. It was a little ‘wonder how that went...’ Then you do Tales of Xillia 2 and I thought I was wrecked. Because it reframes so much of their interaction to a really sad relationship that fell apart because Alvin was a coward.

Flynn/Yuri/Judith - Haha! Didn’t expect the end part of this one did you? I think everyone knew I liked Fluri. Like their dynamics are so interesting. But I really do enjoy Judy being involved. I’m really sad that Judy and Flynn don’t get much interaction even in the PS3 version but I don’t find it hard for them to get along. But I do usually see that more times it’s Flynn and Judy dating Yuri and their relationship changes over time. They can scrap together, they can travel together, and not needing as much talking to get what anyone means. I find it hard to describe this one but I feel it.

Character I find most attractive:

Yuri and Velvet are like the reflexive thoughts. But I actually really also like Jude and Judy. I mean look at this cute little nerd, he’s adorable! And then there’s hot elf lady that she could kick me in the face and I’d thank her. In general you can probably guess my type from those four.

Character I would marry:

Probably Yuri. I’m sorry that this is my answer to so many but he is like my type to a T and it’s just ruined so many standards for me. Like a funny guy that is good at cooking (and has a sweet tooth!) and can go venturing with? What else is there? I mean yeah there’s the hair and voice but that’s like given. But yeah, I’m a basic bitch with that.

Character I would be best friends with:

Eizen, if that’s a bit surprising. Sure he’s a bit of an edgelord but I feel like I’ve never left it so he’s already doing better than I. But I like the idea of sailing on the ship with him there, probably not gonna be able to let me struggle for that long. He’s funny with a dry sense of humor to me and also he’s a low-key nerd that knows a lot of things and likes finding new and interesting things. So yeah.

And as much as I give shit about him, I actually think I would be friends with Sorey. He’s the kind of excitable that makes others excited and that’s kind of what I do. So we’d kind of excite each other. And so long as it’s not spelunking, I’m down for going exploring.

a random thought:

What defenses occur with the end of blastia? Barriers were what repelled monsters from most of the inhabited areas in Terca Lumireis. Dahngrest and Zaphias look to have fortresses that can hold back most land beasts. But there are other places. What stops the monsters now? Will they go towards more mana based works?

Also, someone also mentioned, does ANYONE know how to do medical work? Like actually patching up injuries? How to care for someone in sickness? Healing artes were what were used! They can’t use blastia anymore! What happens now?

Can there be a history of how things changed from Berseria to Zestiria? Mainly the shifting of how malevolence works from turning people to reflect their sinister nature to straight up monsters with no sense? How the Shepherd thing went to include the malak as much as it does. The change from malak to seraphim. Just...how did we geeeetttttt heeeerrreeeeee.

An unpopular opinion:

I fucking hate that I had to be told from other friends that actually could find the material or read the fucking wiki to understand the dynamics of the Kresnik family. Ludger has a LOT of fucking baggage that we don’t even get to hear anything about! Partially because he’s silent and partially because ‘oh he was young so he conveniently forgot?’ And a lot of it was important to the last half of the story! That’s bullshit! And even further bullshit is that there was no reason they couldn’t have found time to put it in the game but they chose not to.

Tales can’t make a fun last level to save their lives. I haven’t enjoyed a single final level in any of the games I’ve played. I don’t mind doing puzzles for it but straight up spiraling branches full of dead ends is frustrating. ESPECIALLY FUCK XILLIA 2′s! Randomly generated based off those in the party and then you can’t even see when a path is not truly there so you can follow the path and then all of suddenly blank ground, meaning dead end you have back up and retrace another path. And then like Berseria’s made me feel nauseous from the ‘ethereal’ look it was going for. And just made it hard as fuck to see. And more of this awful tower climbing. I just...mmmmmmm, I will probably always enjoy the game until the final level exists. I swear.

My Canon OTP:

Uuuuuuhhhhhh I don’t think I have one.

My Non-canon OTP:

Most protags x happiness?

Most Badass Character:

Don Whitehorse. He was like definition of like ‘stubborn old man’ but man was he cool. He was staunch in the honor of the guilds under his control and was proud of what he and other had built up with their own hands. Also you don’t often see a man willing to sacrifice his life to right a wrong done by his own.

Most Epic Villain:

Gaius. Like me and my friend were like ‘what the fuck’ when we were co-oping Xillia together. Like this was a king that meant business! Mhm. .

Pairing I am not a fan of:

Most of the pairings are fine to me.

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another):

Sorey. I’m sure I’ve gone on this so many times but I really hated that they kept alluding to him having to make hard decisions but whenever one was brought to him, someone else took it for him. Like if his job is that important and it’s expected to make these choices, THEN LET HIM MAKE THEM. I was so angry over that. I spent the entire game waiting for when they’d do a major point where Sorey had no choice but to step up.

Favourite Friendship:

Alvin & Elize - I really like how much they have both grown from each other. And how when Alvin broke her trust that he had to live with her mistrust and work to earn it back. Their friendship had uneasiness that seemed hopeful at the end of the first game and turned to just banter and teasing by the second. Growth baby, it’s wonderful.

Character I most identify with:

Mmmmm, probably Ludger. Look at all that debt. Can’t do nothing but cry over it.

Character I wish I could be:

Yeah, no. JRPG rules means everyone has some fucked up shit in their past or coming for them. I’m fine over here.

#answered #wolfatrest #arcxnumvitae

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