#but yeah he'd probably be a nice dad he's generally got his head on his shoulders and he's a smart man

[todayisafridaynight]

okay so this feels like many eons ago, but I was the anon who asked if Daigo was a dilf (what a fool I was) now I have another question what do you think Daigo would be like as a father?

daigo as a dad doesn't sound like the worst reality for once. he'd probably be like. a standard dad if that makes sense ?? he's not overly doting but that doesn't mean he won't remind his kid how much they mean to him whenever the opportunity arises and he's sure to be there for them whenever they need him

#snap chats #like he borders on Work Dad- he's preoccupied by business but he also knows how to make time for his kid #definitely doesnt want to project his childhood onto his kid yk he wants to be there for them unlike his parents #this is going off the assumption he's a Single Father Making A Difference if that wasnt evident #but yeah he'd probably be a nice dad he's generally got his head on his shoulders and he's a smart man #this ask makes me cry cause i have twitter mooties who like. gush about daigo being a dad every other week #and then i sit here having absorbed none of their chatting going 'yeah what WOULD that be like.... #wheres my text support for the claim im about to make' #like daigo likes kids we know that from RGGO and he's willing to go the extra mile for them #id imagine he'd do more for his own child so #like kiryu was a great dad When He Got The Chance I See You Typing Put That Ask Away #and kiryu was definitely handed a weird deck to play with so daigo would probably fair better if we're just talking one kid

[custardcrazy]

Hi! If ur still taking requests for Ted Logan atm can I ask for super fluffy headcanons or a oneshot where he has a s/o who’s his exact opposite personality-wise (like they’re grumpy, sarcastic, cynical, and just has that “I hate everyone but you” attitude with Ted). Basically the black cat to his golden retriever. Thank u if u decide to do this!!

we've a star

summary: opposites do attract. (gn!reader)

wordcount: 1.2k

A/N: whoops, I think I projected a little. thanks for requesting!!

It was comical, how different you and your adoring boyfriend were. 

It was a comparison that many pointed out, if they didn't know either of you too well. Ted was generally optimistic to the point of obliviousness. He was cheerful, goofy, and was physically incapable of being rude to anybody; it wasn't hard to see that he was an all-around good guy. And the complete and utter truth was that you weren't any of those things. Blunt, pessimistic, always having a hard edge to your words. 

To an outsider, it seemed impossible that people who were completely diametrically opposed in terms of personality and demeanor could be in a relationship in the first place. After all, there was that old saying: "opposites attract", but that usually didn't work outside of the movies. Differences brought conflict, and the more things people had in common, the better. 

However, any of your mutual close friends would know of your insane, ridiculous soft spot for your partner-in-crime. 

Maybe the fact that Ted was so sweet was why you couldn't bring yourself to be truly mean to him. Maybe it was why you were still so incredibly attracted to him. Usually people who weren't so bright just got on your nerves, and you didn't have much patience for morons. But Ted was a special case. Sure, you teased him, but it was never anything more than that. And somehow, every time he screwed up doing something it was just cute. Nothing else. 

At first, it caught you off-guard. And it still did, but you were kinda used to it by now. 

Speaking of now. 

Your legs were propped up in his lap, and he was hunched over somewhat, scribbling on a legal pad that he probably had taken from his dad's office before he and Bill moved in together. His bangs kind of obscured his eyes, and you observed admiringly how now and then he flipped his head back in order to get them out of the way. He always had nice hair. And yes, it was as soft as it looked. 

Bill wasn't in their apartment at the moment, as he had left maybe two hours ago to go hang out with some buddies. He'd asked you and Ted if you wanted to go -- you liked Bill, of course, but the same couldn't be said for that particular group of people. The thing you wanted to do the least right now was talk to people. Or socialize with people at all. 

Ted wasn't people. 

Reclining back on the sort of disheveled green couch, which was probably suffocating under all the pillows, you briefly turned your attention to the TV. But you only got a quick glimpse of whatever cheesy sitcom was on before Ted broke the companionable silence. 

"Babe?" He turned the legal pad towards you, and the page he was using was covered in the chicken scratch otherwise known as his handwriting. Oh, he was brainstorming lyrics again. "Does this phrase in particular come off as too … crazy?" Brow furrowed, he pointed to a sentence. "I know you know that this song is supposed to be most ludicrous, but I don't wanna cross a certain line." 

"Duh, you and Bill decided to call it Trapped In Clown Land," you pointed out.

"It's a metaphor, babe!" He announced cheerfully, unphased by your dry remark. 

Sitting up to squint at the page, you realized that with how fast he'd been writing, his usual scrawl had degraded even further. Normally, you could pick out a couple letters and move from there, but it was impossible this time. 

"Uh, Ted, I can't read that." You poked him in the side with your toe. "Translation, please." 

He smiled, scratching the back of his neck. "Oh. Yeah. Sorry, babe." Lowering the pad, you noticed that even he had to focus a little to read what he'd written. 

"Shoes too big to fill / Out of fashion, but he's coming in for the kill," he recited slowly. "Something like that. Might reword it later, but I'm usually no good at rhyming stuff." The aura of self-pride radiating from him was palpable, and you reached out to ruffle his hair. He didn't protest, beaming a little. 

"I think it's fine." Shrugging, you leaned backwards again. "The big clown shoes reference is kinda direct, but just enough so it comes off as clever." For a guy who'd almost flunked English, Ted wasn't too bad at songwriting. Well, maybe you were a little biased, but you'd seen your fair share of awkward local bands to know what worked and what didn't. (Suddenly struck by a wave of intense secondhand embarrassment, you tried to suppress the memory of that one time the vocalist screwed up on stage.) 

But, thankfully, Ted intervened. "Your input is totally appreciated, babe." He leaned over, kissing you softly; it was over too soon, and he was right back to work. 

All of your efforts to dispel the cringe-worthy recollections were promptly diverted to trying to preserve your dignity and not melt into a puddle. Which was funny, because usually he was the one blushing and hiding his face. 

"Obviously," you managed to supply, and the TV suddenly looked very interesting. 

It was a little while longer before the legal pad got placed delicately (thrown) onto Ted's bed, and his arm was wound comfortably about your shoulders, his other hand in yours. Even before you started dating, something about his very, very good bear hugs was incredibly tempting. And now that you were, Ted's habit of being a cuddler had increased tenfold. 

You weren't one to break some nice peace and quiet, but this time you had a valid reason. Surprisingly. 

"Thanks for staying with me," you murmured into the crook of his neck, and even though you were used to being honest, you still felt your face heat up ever so slightly. "I know you and Bill always hang out, and you have a lot in common with those guys, too. You could've gone with them." 

" 'S really nothing," came his reply, sounding so easy and genuine. Warm. "I know that you didn't wanna go out today. Especially after you ranted about Jenna being most bothersome at work. It's totally understandable." 

You scoffed, unable to help your natural urges to make at least one venomous comment when prompted. Still, the mushy feelings in your heart didn't dissipate. "Like she always has. Isn't it a requirement for someone who works at Claire's to at least have the capacity to put up with whining tween girls?" 

"It should be," agreed Ted, his thumb running over your knuckles in a slow, gentle motion. "But don't pay too much mind to it, babe. You only gotta deal with her for, like, a couple hours." 

"It's still too long." You softened, tone growing more affectionate rather than irritated. "Not everyone has your patience." 

"But -- " 

He opened his mouth, probably to protest or deflect -- most likely at the same time, but this time you were the one who leaned up to kiss him. Unsurprisingly, it took him a second, but he quickly reciprocated, turning his body to face you more in order to make things more comfortable. 

Satisfyingly, when you parted, he was the flustered one, too distracted to continue his previous statement. 

#ted logan x reader #ted logan x you #ted logan imagine #ted logan imagines #keanu reeves x reader #keanu reeves x you #bill and ted imagine

[japhan2024]

OMG OMG SO, first of all: Hi! Love your writting! Second of all, I would love to see more single dad Ian pleaseee pleasee!! Something sweet and a lot of flufff, and if you could make it like, grumpy and scary outside, cute and hopelessy in love with his kid inside the house could be the best thing.

I'm so happy you enjoy my writing, it means so much! Thank you for this cute prompt, I'm doing my best to make it to your liking ~💖

Swift

genre: angst, fluff

topics: single parent, reconnection w best friend

words: 1.557

Ian hid it well - the bags under his eyes, the general closed off-ness, people blamed it on Anthony leaving and Defy collapsing. The truth was, Ian was very happy with his life. Although it was very much split in two: his work life and his family life. Ian had a kid: he was a father. A single dad even.

Yes, a short-lived fling with a Hollywood-heiress had resulted in a pregnancy, no, she didn't want the kid and yes, he had begged her to keep it, he would take good care of it he promised. And when she personally 'delivered' the baby to his doorstep, she broke his heart and made him the happiest man alive, all at once.

Little Swift (Ian didn't get to choose the name) had quite the attitude as a baby, always hungry, throw-uppy and poopy at the same time, driving Ian up the wall sometimes. But when he saw his baby sleep, he melted all over again, remembering how he loved his little son.

At the office he maintained a distance, he didn't want to tell them, he had this one thing going for him, and it felt sacred. Not that there was anyone he would want to talk to anyway. Not that they weren't 'nice', because they were. And they worked hard. And they put their all into Smosh, making it survive it's toughest times yet. Ian was grateful to them. But he couldn't get close to them. His closest connection was m.i.a. and would probably never come back.

Ian did want to tell Anthony. To share with him his most joyful of feelings. But he didn't want Anthony to visit him because he 'had to'. Maybe that backfired because any time his former best friend did reach out, Ian would react robotically, not knowing how to respond better anyway.

Years passed.

"Daddy!" Swift was already four years old and a little menace, and a little angel at the same time. "Another story!"

"Alright," Ian sighed. "Which one do you want to hear now?"

"The one about the unicorn."

"Okay." Ian picked a colorful book. They sat in Swift's room, already way past his bedtime but he wouldn't let his dad leave. Probably because he knew it was shooting week tomorrow and he'd have to say with his grandma.

"The little unicorn galloped over the rainbow," Ian began. "It knew it would see its friends on the other side. There they were! Little rabbit, little fox and little baby dragon. What do you want to do today? Play play play! And that they did, and that they did."

"Another story!"

"Swift, you really have to sleep now."

"Please?"

Ian could never resist for long.

"Alright. But it's a story I invented myself. Wanna hear it?"

"Can it be about a unicorn, and a fox, and a-"

"No, this is a story about two best friends."

"Oh, okay."

Ian lay down on the ground next to his son's bed. His arms behind his head.

"Once upon a time, two guys met each other and they knew they would be best friends for the rest of their lives."

"Did they love each other?"

"Yeah, I guess they did. They had so much fun together, and everyone liked their games. But because it got so crowded, the best friends couldn't find each other anymore."

Ian gouged whether Swift was asleep yet. But his eyes were wide open.

"So they each made new friends and didn't talk or play with each other, but you know what, Swift? That didn't matter. Because when you have a best friend, that's forever. And they both knew that if they would find each other again, they'd just continue where they left off where they were, when they last saw each other."

"I don't like this story, tell another one."

"No Swift, you really have to sleep." Ian sat up and wanted to leave. But Swift jumped out of his bed - to Ian's distress - and clung to his leg.

"Stay."

Ian couldn't say no to that. He got a few blankets and lay down on the ground in his son's room. He quickly dozed off, even though it was only 8 p.m.

~

Ian and Anthony looked at each other. This first time hanging out since.. 5 years? Felt a bit awkward but, also nice. Their friends kept to themselves a bit, so they had a chance to talk semi-privately. Ian had made sure to wear his least crappy jeans and a classic light blue Charlie the drunk guinea pig t-shirt. Anthony wore all black, plus some necklaces, bracelets and rings. He had gotten tattoos and looked so overwhelmingly cool, Ian had kind of forgotten how beautiful his friend was.

"So, how's your life?"

"I'm good! Thank you. Haha yeah, I have a cute girlfriend, the channel's going well.. I have a dog, oh! You would love him."

"Oh, really? That's so nice man."

"Yeah, haha. Umm, I'm so glad to talk to you. How are you? How are you, Smosh is going strong as always of course, like I've been keeping up! But how are you otherwise?"

"Uhh, oh, that's great man. I'm good, thanks."

"Ian.. please, after all this time, let's talk, please. Don't still shut me out?"

It was so difficult for Ian to do this 'talk about your feelings' stuff. But he felt like he had to. So, forcing himself, he looked Anthony directly in his eyes. And he was taken aback, seeing the earnestness there, the longing for connection, genuine openness that hadn't been there before.

"No, sorry. I want to let you in."

"I would like that," Anthony said. He looked at Ian with a hunger. Like he wanted to breathe in his best friend, as the fresh smell of grass and flowers, after having stayed inside for years.

Ian broke eye contact, but said: "Come over this Saturday. It's will be really special to me if you come over.."

"Okay! Yeah totally, I'll be there! I'm so glad we met again today, Ian. I'm so down to hang out." Anthony smiled apologetically. Like he wanted to say so much more. Ian went in for a hug. Anthony held him tightly for a moment. "See you soon, buddy."

~

Saturday morning.

"Swift, come here please?"

"Yes dad!"

"Do you remember the story of the two best friends?"

Swift nodded.

"Well, my best friend is coming over today. It's pretty special! We're going to say hi to him for the first time!"

"What's his name?"

"Anthony."

"Okay! Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I draw?"

"Sure you can, go to the table, the drawing stuff is still on there."

Ian paced up and down his apartment. How would Anthony react? Would they really reconnect again? He didn't have time to collect any courage because the doorbell rang.

"Dad!! Your best friend is here!"

"Yes! I'll answer the door."

Ian opened the door.

"Anthony, before you go in.. I have to tell you something. I, well, I have a son."

Anthony's eyebrows shot up underneath his curls. "You have a... son?"

"Yeah, his name is Swift, he's 4 years old. There's no mom in the picture though."

Anthony looked at Ian with wide eyes. Eyes that started to water. "Dude... congratulations..." His voice trailed away. He went in to hug Ian again. He whispered: "Ian, I'm so sorry, I should have been here for you.."

"Daddy, my drawing is finished. Can I give it to your best friend?"

"Sure, here he is," Ian said, breaking up the hug. Anthony seemed like he didn't want to let go at all. They turned to Swift and looked at the drawing. It was colorful scribbles.

"Wow, is this for me?"

Swift nodded with a smile.

"Thank you so much, Swift. I'm so happy to meet you. My name is Anthony."

"Yes, you're dad's best friend. I'm happy you have found him again."

Anthony laughed, but tears fell down.

"Want some tea or something? A beer maybe?"

"Water is fine.."

Swift was staring at Anthony. It made Anthony feel awkward and like he had to act entertaining.

"So, what's your favorite color?" He figured a kid would like that kind of question. To his relief, he was right.

"I like blue, but I also like indigo, Bobby likes green but I don't like green."

"Oh, I see. I like black."

"Did you paint black on yourself?"

"Oh, haha, well, these are tattoos."

Swift picked up some markers and started to draw on his own hand.

"Oh, Swift I don't know if your dad will approve of that.."

"Shall I draw on your hand?"

"Uhh, okay."

Swift started to draw on Anthony's tatooed hands. Ian walked back into the room and smiled at the situation.

"Good way to redirect his chaotic tendencies."

"Thanks, man. Your son, he's incredible. Such a good kid."

"Anthony?"

Ian looked earnestly at his best friend.

"Will you come over more often? We can just hang out. Doesn't have to be about work at all. I even prefer that. We can do fun things with Swift, go to the park, and you can be my wingman to score some m-i-l-f-s."

"Ohh yeah, totally," Anthony said, still recovering from the shock of knowing his best friend was a dad.

"Ian, I... this is amazing. I'm so grateful and thankful, that you trust me and let me meet this really special young man."

Swift was still drawing.

#ian day #ians day #ian's day #its the 30th already where i live so HAPPY IAN DAY!!! #smosh #fanfic

[thevestigeofvanillaan]

Fireworks.

tate langdon x female reader.

summary: after getting expelled from your town high-school, your parents sent you out to an academy in la. they moved in close by and invited you over for dinner, where you met tate langdon. on july 4th, you'd see him again..

content: smut, public sex, build up, pool sex, underage drinking, the harmon's don't exist, petnames/no use of y/n, swearing, i think that's it..

listen to!: time - pink floyd (starts at blue text).

"Yeah? Alright. Okay, bye." I hang up on my mom who'd just invited me to dinner at their new home. She said there's kids my age who live in the neighborhood who I could hang out with.

I pack a bag so I could stay overnight in the guest room. I stay in the dorms of the academy my parents sent me to after getting expelled from our town high-school. And then they moved to a house in LA so they don't live far from me.

About an hour later they're outside to pick me up, texting me to let me know. I head out and enter the car so we can make our way to their new house.

I haven't seen the new house yet, but they like to say they enjoy it. I don't believe them. Our last house was their dream house but they couldn't afford it.

When we arrive I go straight to the guest room to put down my stuff. Though, when I turn around to leave I see a blonde boy standing in the room.

"Um.. who are you?" I ask as I inch backwards to sit on the bed.

Rather than saying anything he writes on the board "Tate".

"Are you.. mute or something.?" I ask, generally curious now rather than concerned.

"No." He says, placing down the chalk and looking back to me, making his way over to sit next to me on the bed.

I sigh, "Well, Tate. Why're you in here?".

"The basement gets boring, word got around the neighborhood quick that a pretty girl would be here.. so I came to check it out."

"Wait.. you live in my parents basement?" I ask, confused.

"No." He says almost too quickly. "I live next door.. uh." He stops talking when the two of us make eye contact.

And that was the first time I'd met Tate. We hung out, listened to music, even cuddled and watched a movie after I ate dinner. He was.. nice.

Then I left to go back to the academy.

The next time I'd be back was the 4th of July.

July 4th.

My dad teaches me how the fireworks work. The new pool they'd put into the backyard was full of kids from around the neighborhood, mostly younger ones and some that may have been my age. But I didn't see Tate.

Not until a later in the day when I was in my kitchen all alone. I was getting orange juice out of the fridge and turned around to see Tate. I jump as I wasn't expecting him to be there.

Tate laughs and I shove his shoulder, "Asshole" I chuckle.

"I missed you." He smirked and held my waist. This, this is something he'd never done before. We've never done anything sexual, he's never even held me like this.

"Did you?" I smile and hold his wrists when he nods. "I suppose I missed you too." I look away and laugh a little before I catch glimpse of a few alcohol bottles.

Leaving Tate's hold to go get a bottle of vodka, you hold it up to him and walk back. "Ever drank?"

"Course I have. Have you?" He comes over behind me as I'm pouring us red solo cups of vodka, placing his hand on my lower back.

"Yes sir. Trust, I got expelled for more reasons than one." I smile up at him and hand him the cup. We tap them before taking down the little amount of liquor in the cup.

I lead him to my room. "Do you have a bathing suit?" I ask.

"Probably. I don't go swimming often though so I'd have to look." He says, watching me as I get undressed down to my bra and panties.

"Turn around." I smirk as he does so. "And no need, my brother has at least a few. You can wear one of his." I put on my black tied bikini.

I take Tate's arm and lead him to my brother's room, squinting my eyes and knocking to hear no answer before going in. I was honestly scared that he would be having sex with one of the girls from outside.

Going into a drawer to find a few different colored swimsuits, I pull out the lavender one. "You'd look good in this color." I hand it to him and walk out of the room, closing the door behind myself to let him get changed.

I sit at the top of the stairs, waiting for Tate to come out and in not long he does.

"I knew you'd look good in purple." I smile and he smiles back, holding out a hand to help me stand up.

We go downstairs and outside together to the pool. Not as many people were in it now as it got much darker out. Only about five or six people besides Tate and I.

My feet touch the water which is much colder than the outside temperature. I climb down the stairs and wrap my arms around myself. "It's cold!" I shout over the loud music.

"Time" by Pink Floyd had been playing.

Tate gets into the pool and walks over to me, pulling me into his warm body to share body heat. "You're warm."

"No I'm not, it's freezing." He replied with the prettiest toothy smirk lying on his face as he looks down at me.

"You know what I meant." I roll my eyes. And look at the starry sky. The sky was a dark purple, you could see the black silhouette of the trees, in contrast to the shiny white stars. It was pretty.

I look at Tate who's face looked kissable with the blue of the water reflecting itself onto him. I wrap my arms around his neck, resting them on his shoulders as we just stare into each other's eyes.

Have you ever looked at someone and known you were going to spend the rest of your lives together?

Almost like you knew they were your soul mate?

That's how it feels every time I look at Tate.

The 4th was a big day for Americans. It'd been my favorite holiday growing up. The fireworks, the weather, the food, the drinks, the company. One thing I always wanted though.. was a 4th of July kiss.

I knew this year would be the year I'd get that. With Tate. A boy who made me feel warm. Feel like time didn't exist. Like we were in slow motion.

Pushing Tate's shoulders to get off of him and swim away, giggling. "Where you goin'?" He laughs and swims after me.

I run in the water to get away from him but not long after, he catches up.

About half an hour of just messing around, it was just the two of us left in the pool.

Soon, fireworks started shooting up from everywhere, people from around the block, and my dad too were shooting off fireworks. "Wow, look Tate!"

He wraps his arm around my shoulders and pulls me into his side, as we both look up to the fireworks.

Until Tate looks down at me. He watches as I watch the fireworks. Them reflecting in my glistening eyes. The colors in the sky reflecting onto my wet skin.

Tate takes my shoulders and turns me so I'm facing him. I look at him who's smiling like he knows something I don't. "What?" I giggle, wrapping my arms around his neck and my kegs around his waist so that he's holding me.

"Nothin'. Just glad I listened to what the kids around the block were sayin'." He smirks and looks at my lips.

I eagerly pull his head down into my own and our lips attach to one another's. Softly moaning into the kiss. His lips were so soft. This, this was my 4th of July kiss I waited years for.

The kiss gets more sloppy and Tate brings his hands to the ties holding my swimsuit bottoms together, messing with them. I pull at the back of his hair and buck my hips against his under the water.

"Want you.." I breathe out in between kisses.

And it was then that Tate pulled the strings to my swimsuit bottoms, making sure that it stays underwater by grabbing them and holding onto them. He pulls down his swimsuit enough so that his cock was free.

He aligns it with my entrance and pulls away from the kiss, "You ready?" he asks.

I nod. And then he pushes slowly into me. I know that I need to be quiet. Otherwise anyone who was standing just far enough so that I could hear their subtle conversation.

Wrapping my arms around his and placing my head on his shoulder as quiet breathy moans slip from my mouth. It hurt at first, but that pain became pleasurable. I bite my lip and squeeze my eyes shut, bucking my hips into his as on of his hands slide to rub my clit.

"Fuck, I'm not gonna last long." Tate whispers in a whine. "Need you to cum with me."

"I will.. 'm close." I whisper before a soft whimper falls from my lips.

It felt so good. I'd never had sex in a pool before, it was so amazing. Even better when it was with Tate.

"Gonna.." I attempt to whisper but it comes out slightly louder than I expected.

"Shshsh.." Tate hushes me, "There's still some people out here. I know you're close baby, me too." His thrusts become more sloppy and harsh as he comes closer to his release.

He didn't know where he was supposed to cum. He couldn't cum in the water.

The only option was in me.

The two of us come undone together, trying to control moans from being too loud.

Tate hands my swimsuit bottoms back to me before he pulls his own up, the two of us exchange no words. Until we make eyecontact after we are both put together again.

We giggle at each other. "We should go dry off." I offer and Tate nods in agreement.

The two of us take towels and head upstairs to my room. I strip from the wet bathing suit, not caring that Tate is watching me.

"I should go." Tate says, turning around to face my door, about to leave.

"Wait." I stop him. "Can you come back after you change and just.. lay with me?"

He smiles and leaves without a word.

And I become a mess remembering what we'd just done in the pool just a few minutes prior.

#vanillaan #american horror story #ahs #ahs murder house #tate langdon #evan peters #tate ahs #tate langdon x reader

[dhampiravidi]

"Don't close your eyes, baby. Look at me." (Pogue to Jayn ❤️ He likes eye contact ❤️)

"So, I take it ya like what ya see?" Remy LeBeau was hardly an inch away, and his hand still held hers. There was a slight chill, which made her realize that she was just in her oversized tee and panties. "Oh...damn, chere...you dress like dis f'me?" He kissed her and her head spun. It didn't take long before she was on the bed, hot Cajun superhero on top of her. They made out like they were in a movie. She was tugging on his hair and his hands were doing everything right...

"Mm, oh please, please, mmph--gods I'm--" Right as she started to feel fucking great between her legs, ready for him to blow her mind, the room and his face faded away. Jayn mentally screamed in the name of the injustice being committed. HOW DARE the universe--

She didn't even bother to open her eyes. The soft sound of the AC coming on was enough. Oh gee, real life.

"Hm?"

There was something firm and warm and nice on her legs: hands. Raising an eyebrow, Jayn (her vision still blurry from sleep) lifted up the sheet to find Pogue rubbing soft circles into her inner thighs and smirking up at her.

"Wondered when you'd wake up. I know we talked about that somnophilia thing, but...I could wait." Fuck yeah. Her perfect boyfriend had stayed up late watching movies with her, and the last thing on their list had been the X-Men cartoon from when they were kids (bless reruns). Apparently, he'd stayed the night, and apparently, she'd fancasted him as Gambit. Rogue was a lucky butt. "You plannin' on goin' back to sleep?" Pogue asked before he licked her through her damp panties. She whimpered.

"N-no..." He let her move so she could take off her underwear, then moved her back into place before she could rub her legs together. Pogue knew that having him there was her favorite position--his unbelievably strong hands held her open no matter how much she squirmed, and she loved the sexy look he got in his eyes during the whole thing. Oh yeah, and he was great with his mouth. Some wanted "neat" or some shit. She was perfectly fine with "messy and generous".

He swept his tongue up and down, back and forth, nice and slow, teasing her until she was fully awake and begging for him to fuck her. Then he slid two of his fingers inside her, twisting and curling. The whole time, she was gasping, desperately trying to thrust against something that'd give her some kind of release.

"Did he fuck you like this?" There it was, those eyes, that look--like he wanted to eat her alive. A chill ran down her spine, but it was an excited one. He was gonna wreck her. "Did he?"

"No, y-you didn't--"

"Hm?" His hand hovered over right where she wanted him. Where she so desperately wanted him.

"Mm?"

"Tell me what he did. Tell me how good he made you feel."

"We kissed..."

"That's all?" If he kept teasing and rubbing her like that, she was going to go insane in the next few minutes.

"It was you, okay?--y-you were Gambit, you saved me from this vampire clown who was very high maintenance, and then we flew to a hotel room and--"

"Es-tu aussi sucré que tes yeux?"

"Excuse me--what?!"

Pogue smirked, gently squeezing her inner thighs.

"Took French in school. Reid's idea." Of course. Reid probably thought learning French would get him a girlfriend--if not at Spenser, then in Europe. Jayn knew that Caleb had already been to England to meet his dad's relatives.

"So...? What was that?"

"More or less: 'Do you taste as good as you look?'"

"Pogue!" She might've hit him with a pillow if she hadn't been so busy trying to hide her embarrassed face in her hands. They both told dirty jokes, but he was a lot more creative than she was. He chuckled and pressed a kiss to her stomach.

"So you don't want me to taste you, mon fille [my lady]?"

"Fucking--fine," Jayn mumbled.

He really didn't need to be told twice. He treated her like she was melting ice cream, and he wasn't missing a drop. Pogue just took his time, too, not going any faster no matter how much she whined or squirmed. "Pogue, pl-lease--"

"God, you look so good like this..." He sucked hard on her clit, and she might've screamed loud enough to wake up Caleb in the next room if she hadn't covered her mouth in time. "Oh, babygirl, I wanna hear you," Pogue said, words dripping with faux disappointment.

"I can't--"

"You can't? Is Caleb the one you want to fuck you?"

"No..."

"Then c'mon, Jay. And don't close your eyes, baby. Look at me." He was grinning before he even saw her dark irises. She was almost as hungry for it as she was.

#in--somnium #jkw: thread #ugh IDK why but the dialogue got so weird on this one #I'm sorry--I really did love the prompt #also lol bc I deleted a chunk since it got too long #thanks for the ask!

[awlumii]

Cyno is the General Mahamatra, yes?

And Cyno, however scary he seems to be, is genuinely a nice person underneath.. the, um, scary. Yes, I find him a bit terrifying if I ever have to be stuck in a room with a guy like that.

But I think he'd be a little like Xiao? But more.. well, naturally ominous. Not reclusive by any means- he tells dad jokes during dinner, how could this man even be that closed off?- but he's intimidating by aura and maybe that's what gets him used to his loneliness.

I can't think of any petnames that he'd even particularly use... But I had a bit of research with his voice lines, and here are some things he has interest for! (And some headcanons I share..)

- He likes the snow.

- He likes the night in the desert, the cold is nice for him.

- (does this mean he can withstand the cold too?)

- He enjoys playing cards! The TCG is fun for him.

- He's mentioned "luck" numerous of times, and is always so invested in investigating on how any lucky miracles can happen during a tense situation. This makes me think of.. like, what if he says you're his lucky charm?

- He enacts fair judgement and plays by the rules. Which is why "luck" in serious situation always somehow surprises him; he wonders if it's cheating, or actually by the rules.

- I feel like, for some reason, he tells unfunny jokes because he finds amusement in seeing people deadpan. I have no clue why. But he's also the guy who gets the slightest bit offended when you genuinely laugh at somebody else's jokes.

- I found out he likes it when he's being questioned... Because he's always the one interrogating, y'know? He likes curiosity — the kind that isn't stupid and reckless and would endanger oneself. He likes it when you want to get to know him.

That's all I've analyzed so far, but let me know what ideas pop in your head! ♡

AAAAAA WAIT WAIT

okay, the questions thing — i saw his voice lines and yeah, he loves when you want to know about him, but i also think he finds it amusing when you question him. like if something of yours goes missing and you suspect he took it, or hell, maybe if you're just trying to pry answers about any topic out of him, his face will remain relatively impassive, but if you squint, you'd notice the way his brows are raised and the slightest quirk to his lips; he'll let you know when you've asked too many (probably stupid) questions, but he obviously finds it interesting when he's on the other side of it all (so.. perhaps a reader in which he's with a fierce reader? hm. thinking.)

also i think it'd be really funny if he's actually got a low tolerance for the cold? i know he's originally from the desert which means he'd actually have a really high tolerance for it (and yeah, he's.. well, he's cyno, ofc he's built for this kind of thing), but for as much as he likes the cold, his body doesn't quite agree with that.. so you gotta make sure he's indoors, else he'd risk a cold over and over again

#[ 📭 — incoming! ] #[ 💭 — thinking! ] #idk man i'm just talking

[neighborhood-houseplant]

hii, could i pls have relationship headcanons for killua zoldyck? thnx

Killua Zoldyck Relationship Headcanons

❥ Killua and Reader are both 18 in these headcanons.

❥ I refuse to accept anything else, Killua is so used to you calling him pretty that wehen he goes shopping without you, he sends you a picture of whatever he's wearing and just texts you "this pretty?" not nice or cool or handsome. pretty.

❥ And when you text him back "Yeah! Please buy it you look so pretty!! <3" he just starts smiling and blushing and shii

❥ He flirts. To even be in a relationship with you, he'd have to have known you for a prettly long time, so he'd be pretty comfortable with you. He'll say the most chessy or flirty stuff just to see you laugh or blush. He doesn't care which, he just wants a reaction.

❥ He tells dad jokes lmao, but like really creative or stupid ones, there is no in between. Like they're either funny or just really sad and he laughs at his own jokes too😭. fight me

❥ Pet names would be pretty face, because he thought you were pretty the first time he saw you, babe or baby, normal ones he would use in public or just in general, Sweetheart, Sweet cheeks and Princess (for fem s/o) when he's teasing and flirting with you.

❥ HUGS HUGS HUGS

❥ He gives the best hugs, i dont care what anyone says.

❥ I think at his age (18) he'd be around 5"10 or 5"11 so you're probably shorter than him.

❥ He uses your head as an armrest, finds it funny when you swat it away.

❥ Likes to wrap his arms around you and rest his head ontop of yours or in the crook of your neck when you're doing mundane tasks like cooking or washing dishes.

❥ He's very touchy but mostly when you two are alone or around Gon, Kurapika, Leorio or Alluka.

❥ He's afraid the wrong person will see you two together and he'll indirectly put you in danger (he's not wrong sadly), even if you are strong, you mean the world to him and he doesn't want anything to happen to you.

❥ He doesn't get jealous very easily because he knows you love him, but when he does he glares at the person you're with, rarely blinking and freaking them out, but when you turn to him, he just acts all innocent and pretends to be doing something else or he'll smile and wave at you.

❥ He doesn't like reading too much, prefers being active but he loves it when you read to him, he'll never ask tho, you'll have to ask yourself.

❥ He stares at you but not in a creepy way but more of a "How did I get so damn lucky?" way.

❥ He does the thing where he rubs your hand with his thump when you hold hands. <3

❥ Before he met you, he wanted to dye his hair, but now since you love it, he loves it too.

❥ So at some point in your relationship, Killua was growing out his hair kind of, because he was too lazy to get it cut and he borrowed your hair ties because it got in his eyes and annoyed him, so it was in this man-bun type thing.

❥ And you called his hair cute when it was long and he took it and ran with it lmao😭😭

❥ It's longer but much more tamed and he lets you and Alluka braid it and put like beads and stuff in it. (he flips gon off he tries to make fun of killua for being "whipped")

❥ He lets you paint his nails and he even lets you do cute designs like flowers and stuff on them <3

❥ He also lets you do his makeup but only if he can do yours too.

❥ He writes you little notes and leaves them in places like your pockets or in your bag or purse and they're cute things like him telling you he loves you, reminding you to eat or drink water, e.t.c

❥ He gets genuinely offended when you watch shows without him lmfao😭

❥ Steals your food when you're not looking.

❥ He tries to teach you how to skateboard if you don't know how and he keeps his hands on your waist and stuff and catches you when you fall.

❥ He can't sleep without cuddling with you or calling you to hear your voice, Big spoon and little spoon depend on his mood or yours, he doesn't really care either way, he just wants to be held.

❥ He watches you and observes you a lot so he can tell by your body language if you're happy, sad, angry, nervous, stressed out, annoyed, you name it, he can tell.

❥ He's actually pretty good at comforting you, he offers you candy (ofc he does) and just holds you.

❥ He hates seeing you cry, it makes him sad so when you do cry he does everything in his power to make you smile or laugh.

❥ Likes stealing kisses when you're not paying attention.

❥ Loves designing your outfits if you'll let him, loves matching with you too.

❥ Tug at the hair above his nape when you two are kissing. Please do it, he lets out cute this groan/moan type thing. <33

❥ He always wakes up before you, likes to pull you closer and play with your hair or shirt until you wake up.

❥ Loves playing video games with you, he places his minecraft bed next to yours and brings you flowers in your favourite colour.😭😭

❥ Takes zero BS when it comes to you, has sent a lot of people to the hospital for how they disrespected you.

❥ Puts your safety before his.

❥ He's not to big on pda for obvious reasons but he loves holding your hand if you'll let him.

❥ Best Boyfriend 11/10

#killua x reader #hxh #hxh x reader #killua headcanons #killua #killua x you #killua zoldyck #sfw #shifting #headcanons #fluff #slight angst? #killua x reader headcanons

[madcatdaderpydrawer-blog]

Recently found your Fnaf au works (lovin' em btw), and they got me thinking, given that Bonnie is very much the dad of Sun and Moon (a loving and protective one at that), If he came back post virus in your role reverse au, how would he react to the fact that Monty ripped off Moon's hook? And by extension how would he react to Moon's lack of mental wellbeing?

OOF- yeah it would be b a d.

Now, Bonnie doesn't have a bad temper per say. He's a nice person, comes off as a chill dude most of the time (and not, like, Monty chill. Monty chill to me is always that kind of rockstar persona ya know? That laid back in a way of "I don't give a crap what you think" rockstar persona that he puts on for kids. While Bonnies is more laid back in the "one of those guys you'd meet at a local business and become quick friends with and go to for advice" way if that makes sense), but he's one of those people that are relaxed and laid back but still don't put up with anyones shit. I fully believe in the idea that Bonnie is at least somewhat tempermental, as he is one of the most aggressive animatronics in the game, he just isn't AS impulsive. So I think he'd end up visiting Monty Golf and essentially telling Monty that he has a minute to explain what happened before he gets his head cracked open like an egg. Monty quickly obliged because he knows from experience that Bonnie is dead serious and tried to explain everything he remembered. As mad as Bonnie was at him for hurting his son, when he asked around it was confirmed that Monty was telling the truth and in that case he really can't be mad at him for what he did. It was out of his control after all, though he is more careful now whenever Moon does use the wire. Since it had to be reinstalled, all of the nerve endings it is attached to had to be replaced and that means they are all a lot more sensitive as he isn't used to the new ones and how they work with the harness so he's more likely to tug a nerve and startle himself, causing the wire to retract again and for him to fall.

Honestly he'd be very worried seeing Moons mental state. I mean, the last time he was around Moon was still overly hyper and extroverted although slightly in control compared to when he had just started. So he could act soothing and nice but still was full of mischief and generally joyful. It would feel so weird, seeing him so introverted and quiet, and seeing him and Sun have such a strained relationship. Questioning either about it results in a lot more questions then answers though. Sun would try to answer his questions, but end up crying because he feels so bad about what he did and is ashamed of himself. Asking Moon would get him even LESS answers because Moon would insist that nothing was wrong. He doesn't want to bother Bonnie with his issues when Bonnie has only just recently been re-added to the group. He has his own problems to deal with, and Moon firmly believes that Bonnie shouldn't have to deal with his "temper tantrums". He already did so much more then he had to for him by teaching him the ropes when he was younger, and he doesn't want to burden him anymore.

So essentially he'd try to hide it as long as he could and act like everything is fine, until eventually Bonnie witnesses one of his breakdowns and gets confirmation that he is in fact not fine. Being as he has a generally small role in the pizza plex, he isn't all that busy, so he'd definitely spend a decent amount of time taking care of his children. Though he'd avoid getting in between the issues they have with each other. As much as he wants to help them reconcil, it isn't his relationship to fix. Pushing them to do something won't help either of them, so instead he'd probably end up trying to help both of them deal with what happened while he was gone. It would definitely make things a bit smoother though, with Bonnie able to disauge some of the insane amounts of guilt Sun feels before it becomes overwhelming.

I imagine when they do start to gradually reconcile on their own it would go about the same as normally, because again Bonnie would try not to interfere in this very delicate bond. Though I can see him walking into the daycare to see Sun cleaning up around his very much passed out sibling before picking him up and putting him back to bed, or comforting him after a nightmare and cuddling with him, and just smiling and deciding to leave to not disturb their little bubble of peace.

#fnaf moon #moondrop #daycare attendant #fnaf sun #sundrop #sunrise #fnaf security breach au #role reversal au #fnaf glamrock bonnie #tw trauma #fnaf monty

[sergeant-spoons]

hiya! could i request a ship for the ask game please?

i’m 5’1’ with an athletic build (i’m a gymnast), i’ve got reallyyy curly auburn hair down to the small of my back that gets super frizzy in the summer (it’s a nightmare i swear) i have dark brown eyes that look black from a distance, and lots of freckles dotted around my nose. i’m croatian on my dad’s side and greek-cypriot on my mum’s, but for some reason i stay pale even in the summer??? like i don’t even tan a bit. anyway, i’d say i’m a nice person most of the time, but i have a very hot temper. my emotions can be quite volatile in general. but apart from that, when i’m not mad about something, i’m a very mild, chill person. i’m also a dreamer so it might have something to do with the fact my head is in the clouds a lot of the time. currently, i’m still in high school so i’m not really sure what the future holds for me yet, but at the moment i’m studying art, dance, history and french (+ the mandatory english maths and science) all i know right now is that i don’t want to be stuck in the same small town for the rest of my life — i’ve already planned a gap year in croatia with my family and uni is still a looong way away lol — but yeah, i just want to see the world, and learn about all the different cultures and history i never really get to see at home.

thank you so much! <3

Hello hello!! So sorry this took so long to write, it’s been a tiresome few months. I hope you like this! 💕

I ship you with... Lewis Nixon!

You and Lewis probably didn't get off on the best foot. He said something rude or silly and you snapped at him, and as you walked away, he turned to Dick and told him that you've got exactly the kind of spunk he'd like to spend the rest of his days reveling in.

He was nice to you, and you were a little suspicious at first, but it didn't take long for you to come around and see him as a friend and then something more.

Meanwhile, Lewis was already head-over-heels, he was just good at hiding it until you realized that he complimented you way more than 'just a friend' would and you took a chance.

He thinks you are finer than fine and will never miss a chance to stare admiringly at you. He's fond of calling you things like 'gorgeous', 'angel', 'hot stuff', and other such endearments.

When you refocus after being off in your thoughts, you'll often find Lewis watching you with the utmost adoration in his eyes. You'll tease him about it, but he doesn't mind, because he gets to look at you while you do it, and he usually gets a kiss afterward.

Once he finds out about your wishes to travel to Croatia and see your family, he decides he's going to help pay for it however much you'll allow him to. He just wants you to be happy no matter what, and even if that means spending a year apart while you're overseas, he'll do whatever he can to make it the time of your life.

Speaking of overseas expeditions, he would be the happiest man on earth to travel the globe with you, opening your eyes together to different cultures and histories. Nothing could be better than seeing the look of wonder on your face as you experience all the world has to offer.

He loves your hair and your eyes and your FRECKLES, oh, he can't get enough of those freckles. He counts them and makes constellations out of them on mornings when he wakes up before you and, if you let him, he'll kiss each and every one good morning.

He helps you study and brings you snacks and drinks and a blanket and extra pencils and whatever else you may need because he believes your education is very important and he wants you to succeed in the academic pursuits you enjoy.

If you compete and/or perform in your gymnastics training, he will come to each and every meet and cheer you on and take you out for food afterward as he gushes about how impressive you are out there on the mats and the bars and the balance beam.

#band of brothers #ship: you x lewis nixon #band of brothers ship #ship headcanons #headcanons #hbo war show #whoahersheybars #lewis nixon #ship ask game

[thejustmaiden]

Jaken = Rin's Dad?

Okay, is this how a daughter treats their so-called father?

Most definitely not.

Rin and Jaken's relationship clearly screams of your typical sibling rivalry punctuated with cute and silly moments of playful bickering.

Yes, Jaken may technically be her main provider, but that doesn't necessarily equate to him being more of a father than Sesshomaru. If anything, he demonstrates more of a brotherly love towards her. As we all know, parents (which Sesshomaru embodies more based on real life patterns and parallels) will leave their older more capable children in charge of looking after their younger brothers and sisters. In this case, that would mean making Jaken responsible for watching over Rin and protecting her if need be. Ah-Un offers protection, too. Think of it as Jaken as the big brother and Ah-Un as the family dog who are babysitting while Sesshomaru as the parent of the household is away at work or taking care of business. I mean, they literally fit that description to a tee and I'm dying at the accuracy of it all! 🤣👌

[Quick! Someone write up a modern au where Sesshomaru finally gets out to have a nice date night but everything goes wrong in the most spectacular way. Like maybe Rin and Jaken catch a ride on Ah-Un to go spy!]

I recently revisited some episodes from The Final Act, and I couldn't believe how many moments like this there were where Rin got after Jaken or when she would "put him in his place" so to speak. Obviously, all of it is mostly harmless. I was only surprised by how often it occurred, not to mention how Jaken would just stand there and take it. Towards a supposed father figure, Rin's behavior is downright unacceptable. There's a certain level of respect a child is expected to show their parents/guardians, and that's just not what I'm witnessing here between them. Like at all.

Rather their dynamic has the nature of some sibling relationships like I mentioned above. So I really wish fans would stop pretending otherwise, because based on what we know of father-daughter relationships- healthy ones at least- they don't appear anything like what Jaken and Rin have. If you could please provide me other examples of where we've seen similar portrayals in fiction or in real life, then perhaps I can get on board.

Look, that doesn't have to mean that because Jaken isn't her father then Sesshomaru must be. They can both be her caretakers without necessarily filling that traditional father role. I'm just saying that if we're going to start assigning titles to characters, let's make sure we are accurate and truthful in our assessments. If you're going to label anyone Rin's dad, then it needs to be Sesshomaru. Jaken doesn't have precedence over him in terms of fatherly attributes, that just wouldn't make sense.

After all, this isn't about what you want to see, this is about what Rin very likely sees. It's safe to assume that she views Sesshomaru more like a father than she does Jaken. She knows she's safe with him (broadly speaking lol) and that he'll come for her no matter what. That sense of security and comfort is what a child seeks and what they should always feel in a parent's presence. She trusts and even idolizes him, just as a young and innocent child tends to do with their parents. At that age, parents are perfect and could do no wrong in their child's eyes. Idk about you, but this describes perfectly how Rin is around Sesshomaru.

Rin adores him and will follow him anywhere- yes, even into danger! That's what the innocence and unconditional love of a child will bring them to do if necessary. Fortunately, at the end of The Final Act we learn Sesshomaru takes Kaede's advice when he realizes that leaving Rin with her in the village is in her best interests. That way she'd be able to lead a more normal and safer life alongside other humans. Remember, Sessrin shippers, that doesn't mean he wasn't still a part of her life and didn't witness her become a young woman over the years right before his very eyes. Therefore, if they eventually do become romantically involved, then most if not all of those gifts had intimate and seductive intentions and it essentially constitutes as child grooming.

I understand from a Sessrin shipper's point of view why it'd be so much easier to claim Jaken as the father. In doing so, they diminish Sesshomaru's role in her upbringing. By refusing to acknowledge the real role he had in helping raise Rin (short periods can be crucial and impressionable too esp. in a child's early years so yes they did assist in raising her not only Kaede), these shippers are better able to justify how their filial-like relationship evolved into a romantic one. So yeah, I get it, if I were a Sessrin shipper I'd probably do the same. It's one of the more plausible arguments available to them, after all. "Let's pin Jaken as the father to fend off antis!" is the best chance they've got, but even so, it's still not good enough. But if you insist Jaken is indeed like a father to Rin, then Sesshomaru is most certainly one too. Who says she can't have two fathers anyway?

The thing is however much you want to deny or downplay what Sesshomaru truly means to Rin and vice versa, nothing will ever change or hide the truth of the matter. Please, stop acting like they're only traveling companions and nothing more. Some of y'all even go so far as to say that they're like strangers. Knowing potentially little about a person is not equal to a lack of love and affection. Making big assumptions such as this to defend your ship is actually doing you more harm than good. Let me elaborate.

According to your reasoning, if that's all Rin ever was to him was a companion and Sesshomaru had no real attachment to her, then what precisely is the basis of your ship? Recall that Adult!Rin doesn't exist yet, thus we have no real idea what she will be like or if she's even alive. So how can you make comments like that but then go on later to say "they have such a unique and unbreakable bond" or "only Rin can be the mother because she's the only human he ever cared for" if all that time spent traveling together didn't amount to much in the first place like you claimed to believe beforehand? Do you see how your rationalizing is confusing?

Contrary to what some of you may think, I'm not just saying all this because I'm an anti and I'm obligated to disagree with you, or whatever other excuse you want to tell yourself. Believe it or not, I'm attempting to give as unbiased and objective of an analysis I can based on widely accepted interpretations of family dynamics, development, and any history we know of.

Of course I respect that at times fans will perceive things differently since that's bound to happen. What's hard for me to wrap my head around however is the unwillingness of some fans- not exclusively Sessrin shippers- to apply basic common sense and sound judgment to their observations and deductions.

Looking at all our facts, then taking the small handful of scenes Sesshomaru and Rin do share together into account, one can logically conclude that their dynamic is akin to one found in a typical parent-child relationship. If you still fail to recognize Sesshomaru as a parent to Rin, then that's fine too. In the end, that won't really change the fact that he'd still take on a role resembling an adult figure overseeing a young child's care and protection. Be it as a vassal, guardian, what have you. Plus, nobody is saying here that Sesshomaru doesn't make mistakes regarding Rin's general well-being, but so do all parents. Overall, I think the majority of us agree that Rin is in good hands. Whether it's in his direct company or in his occasional supervision from his frequent visits to the village.

In other words, it doesn't really matter what exact title you assign him in relation to Rin, as the distribution of power is all inherently the same with any and all adult-child relationships. That bond never changes once you've established it either, seeing as it's a special kind of connection one can only form with a child and a child alone.

I was a teacher for a few years, and speaking from personal experience, you don't need to be a parent, per se, to take on a role of authority in a child's life. I know without a doubt that I could never and will never view any of those kids I taught in a sexual/romantic light later down the road; yes, not even once they become grown-ups who are independent and more than capable of making their own decisions. Those of you who disagree are usually missing the whole point though, because we're not trying to dictate what Adult!Rin can and cannot do like many tend to accuse of us doing. This isn't a question of taking away from her autonomy nor does it fall under "purity culture," which is why people shouldn't continue jumping to these outrageous conclusions and really listen for a change. You're deflecting from the real issue here when you choose to misinterpret what we're saying by ignoring the problem we're actually referring to. You cannot present a valid counter-argument if you persist in twisting our words.

Bottom line: once these kids become old enough to pursue a sexual/romantic relationship, of course they have that right if they're ready. All we're trying to say is you guys ought to stop pushing forward this it's-completely-normal-to-want-to-bang-your-adoptive-dad-since-you're-an-adult-and-can-do-as-you-please agenda and not expect backlash. Ship it if you want, but please stop acting like their romance would be the epitome of a pure and healthy relationship.

Sesshomaru may not wear his heart on his sleeve, but it's foolish to presume he didn't actually care about Rin during their whole time together just because he didn't openly express his feelings until the very end. Surely everybody can comprehend that people handle and process their emotions differently. The way Sesshomaru chooses to is completely valid for the most part, so let's cut him some slack regarding this already.

What I'm trying to get at is that any child whose life you played an influential role in will always be a kid in a lot ways to you even when they're old and wrinkly. Just as they will always picture you as the loved one who guided and protected them when they were most vulnerable and couldn't always fend for themselves. Can't we relate this to children we know personally and apply it accordingly?

Finally, I want to end on this note. Could you kindly take a look at these two images below for a second?

The reason I ask is because of something I recently read that's relevant to the topic. There was this pro-sessrin tweet I saw that stated Rin trying to take care of Sesshomaru when they first met is what a mom would do for a child, which in their opinion, translates to Rin being more like a mother than a daughter if anything.

First off: are you freaking kidding me????

Seriously, so now children aren't allowed to tend to their sick or injured parents?! Parents are apparently superhuman and shouldn't be offered a helping hand from a child, even if they mean well and want to help their parent who's in pain?? Now this Twitter user was mostly being a smartass, but at the same time, it was evident they genuinely thought they offered a valid enough point that warranted no further explanation or clarification.

Secondly, by saying this Sessrin fans don't seem to realize that in actuality they're contradicting themselves and proving the point we've been trying to make all along. Glancing at the first picture and moving down to the second, the role of the one being cared for and the caretaker is reversed. So then by their own logic, Sesshomaru IS in fact like a father to Rin.

What it comes down to is the names you give to the roles these characters play aren't as crucial as the dynamic they share. The specific characteristics of that dynamic are what define the importance of said role, not so much the name in the role itself. So real father or not, Sesshomaru and Rin clearly mean a lot to each other. Close relationships are defined and solidified by the devotion and belonging they have to one another, not solely by the duration of time spent together and their proximity.

Well, that's a wrap! I hope you guys got something outta this blog, and that you enjoyed or found some portions of it interesting. I would love to hear your thoughts on the subject from this fandom, but only engage in conversation if you plan to be respectful. Thank you!

#inuyasha #hanyo no yashahime #sesshomaru #rin #jaken #anti sessrin #child grooming #family dynamics #parent child relationship

[outerbankslut]

Sorry... Pope Heyward

Summary • After a fight between the Kooks and the Pogues you go to your friends to apologise but Pope’s not having it.

Warnings • Swearing? Maybe but I can’t remember and I cba to go back through. Mentions of violence (in the fight). If there’s anything else let me know :) JJ smoking as usual.

Word Count • 1.7k (Imagine)

Masterlist

(GIF isn’t mine, let me know if it’s yours)

    THE NOISES OF the cars engine knocked you out of your daze as you drove down the paved, sweltering streets of outer banks. The houses you passed a second ago were filled with perfectly trimmed bushes, the building decked in marble and stone with backyards for miles and a pool to finish it off. Whereas the houses you passed now were smaller and wooden, looking fragile almost. Lots of the yards were messier and lazier but they didn't have personal gardeners or the time nor money to do it themselves generally. It made your heart clench as you thought about how just a mile back you were living luxuriously while people over here slaved away to earn everything they owned. They weren't handed it like you were.

You were on your way to the cut to see your friends. But not for a casual hangout. You needed to see if they were okay. After the events of the night before you couldn't be sure what happened after you left.

Rafe has been involved in a fight between all the Pogues including you. No surprise there. He’d been the instigator of it all. It had broken out just you were all planning to leave and then the Cameron boy and the rest of his country club friends came over and joined in somehow finding fun in hitting and punching people due to the entitlement blinding their eyes from the truth that they were the same. Well maybe not personality wise in any way at all. But you were all human beings and yet you were pitted against each other from the day you were born. Only some succumbed to the amounting pressure of their kook or pogue parents to stay away from the other side others realised how petty and stupid it was.

It was always like a scene from west side story when the two groups were mixed and it never ended well. It usually left you to pick up the pieces of their messes. Or any mess of your brothers really. It had always been you. You taking responsibility for anything he did. Whilst he would go disappear and sniff a few lines before making his triumphant return you would be mending what he broke or taking the blame. Being younger than him didn't help with him manipulating you as a child. Rafe broke a vase and suddenly you broke the vase. Rafe stole money from dad since he blew his allowance on coke and alcohol and instead you stole the money. It had always been that way and by now you were used to being left in the wake of your brothers tyranny.

You always felt responsible no matter what happened. The events of last night where stuck in your mind like super glue and the guilt was filling up your lungs. It wasn't your fault. But at the same time it was. You didn't stop your brother, you let your friends get hurt by him. And they must hate you. Probably wish you'd never been let into their group.

The tires of your car screeched to a halt beside the Twinkie which occupied the space outside of the chateau. It was eerily quiet until you stepped out onto the grassy and muddy ground and heard muffled laughter from inside the wooden walls of the small fish shack. You could smell the after effects of a joint wafting through the air. No doubt it was JJ.

Once you entered the chateau the small creak of the screen door was enough to gain the attention of all the Pogues who glanced up at your presence. Only then did you see what was leftover from the fight last night. Kie looked at you with a small smile but you could see the light grazing on her cheeks and her hands that held the wooden neck of a ukulele. But yet she still seemed happy to see you. And then JJ who sent you a lazy smile as he inhaled more of the joint between his bruised knuckled fingers and the smoke covered his purple and yellow and green painted face but only for a second. Then John B who held a beer in his hands but you could see the blood surrounding his split lip and small cut above his black eye.

None noticed your small frown or look of quilt swarming you except from Pope who stared intensely and lingered on the downturning of your lips as you turned and caught his gaze. You could see the small cut beneath his chin and no doubt just like the John B and JJ he accumulated bruises on his stomach or arms. But he was wearing his shirt buttoned up whereas JJ laid shirtless and John B stood with his shirt open.

It hurt you the most seeing Pope. The multiple bruises and cuts adorning his normally smooth and unharmed skin. They were because of you. When Pope moved in front of you stopping you from receiving the backhand Rafe sent your way as you berated him to stop. He was the reason you weren't hurt. And you were the reason he was hurt.

Pope looked at you oddly as you just stood there letting out a sigh.

"Y/N?" He asked, his eyebrows furrowing in question. When you didn't answer again he stood up and walked over to you where you stood with your hands threaded together and rubbing in anticipation. "What's wrong?"

"I-I wanted to apologise to you last night."

The rest of the Pogues had turned their attention to you, JJ even stopped smoking for a second to listen. Your eyes were down trained on the wooden flooring as you spoke. Popes furrowed brows deepened as he looked at you slightly bewildered that you thought you needed to apologise.

"I'm sorry he hurt you guys. It was all my fault and I should have stopped him but I didn't." You let out a dry chuckle. "All of you got hurt and yet I'm perfectly fine." You shook you head and sighed. "But I'm really sorry."

Despite the nice welcoming from your friends you still had the deep rooted fear they would hate you after last night but the looks on their faces held sadness or confusion rather than anger or disdain.

Pope had seen you do this before with the group. Whether it be a Pogue and Kook fight or just a small thing when he'd been around your house, like accepting responsibility when Rafe forgot to pick Wheezie up from her ballet class or the time when you'd apologised profusely for Rafes mistreatment of JJ at his job at the country club. But most of those times he'd believed it to be a small courtesy of just being related to the problem or saying it like when you say you're sorry for someone's loss but it wasn’t like that with you. At least not this time.

You were apprehensive to look up to meet his but when you did you saw the boy let out a small scoff and you were ready for him to yell at you to leave and never come back.

"God! Stop apologising for other people! You're not the shitty one!" The Heyward boy exclaimed blowing a fuse which surprised everyone when Pope was normally the calm and collected one. Not all the time. But most.

And he wasn’t angry towards you but toward Rafe and even the smallest notion that what he did laid on your shoulders. You simply blinked in his direction not sure what to say at his outburst.

"Pope—" You started saying before you were cut off by the boy throwing his hands in the air.

"No I can't take it any longer. I can't watch you blame yourself and apologise for the punches Rafe throws or the shitty things he does. He's a bad person and you are not him. I don't give a damn if he's your brother, okay? Y/N you've never done anything wrong in your life and yet you keep apologising for everything he does. It's not your fault. I'll tell you a million—scratch that a billion times if I have to."

And once again you blinked but this time blinking away the glossy liquid in your eyes hoping to clear your vision. It was a different feeling having someone tell you it wasn't your fault for once. Popes eyes stared passionately towards you as you held his stare. You felt comforted just the the deep ebony colours of his eyes that focused on you.

"I still left you guys though after. I didn't stay and help." You told them and Kiara stood quickly, abandoning the instrument on the couch and placing a hand on your arm. You felt yourself sniffling. Pope moved his hand as well but lightly placed it in your own moving his fingers over your palm in circles soothingly. Letting you know he was there. Pope and you had definitely always been the closest in the group. If you ever needed someone Pope was always there. Whether it was someone to cry on or rant to, he was always there. And he definitely cared a lot about you as you did him.

"Hey, Y/N. You still tried to help us. That’s what counts. And we get it was overwhelming. We don't have to deal with psycho brothers. No offence." Kie spoke softly and you chuckled lightly at her comment through small tears that you were quick to wipe away.

"Yeah, Rafe is his own person and technically an adult he can take responsibility for his own shit." JJ spoke as he stood from his space on the couch joined by John B behind him.

"I still don't understand how the two of you are even related."

You shrugged a small smile growing on your lips that Pope noticed. "Me and Sarah both wonder that. A lot."

They all let out small laughs before Pope pulled you in for a hug and you nestled your head into his shoulder at his warm and enticing hold. He smelt of musk with small hints of aftershave and salt water. But most of all he smelt of home. Somewhere that would always be inviting and your one true solace from the world.

Note • Got my writing mojo back, kinda. And I used a prompt for this which helped a lot as well maybe too much. But uh so funny story I said it could make a cute blurb and one thing leads to another and I’ve written 1.7k words oopsies. I rambled too much and it’s trash and it’s also 2am so forgive me. But I need help I write too much unnecessary details in my fics and it makes it so long and probably boring. Anyway it’s✨trash✨but I hope maybe you enjoyed.

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[azulafangligo]

Flameo! This is my first post for @azulaweek and on tumblr overall. I wrote some fanfic for day 1.

Second chance

It was a warm, sunny day in the Fire Nation. The streets around the Royal Palace were crowded with hundreds of people, cheering and applauding. Apparently the Crown Princess returned from a mission and the citizens were welcoming her home. Chan didn't really care. He was, of course, loyal to the Fire Lord and the princess like all civilians and soldiers, but he didn't worship them or anything like other fanatics did. They were the leaders of their nation, leading them to glory, prosperity and happiness. He respected them and appreciated their efforts, but that was it. He would bow before them if he had to, but he wasn't interested at all in seeing them or knowing anything about them. He didn't have any interest in politics or in the leadership of the country, even though his father was an admiral and all he did in the little free time he had with his family was chatter about the war and about politics. Chan made his way through the crowds, pushing and shoving when someone didn't get out of the way. He was going to meet with Ruon-Jian and some of his other friends at a restaurant a few blocks away. If he could get there. There's so many people here! I'll take me at least a day to get there! he thought, frustrated.

"Excuse me," he told a man in front of him who was obstructing his way. Chan feigned a cough to get his attention.

"Excuse me!" he said again. That was it. He shoved the man aside and continued walking.

"Hey, watch it!" the person said. Chan rolled his eyes in annoyance and didn't turn back. After more swimming through the unending waves of people, his mind took him back to the night when he kissed that girl on Ember Island. A weak had passed since that party where she and her friends destroyed the stuff in his house. His father had been so mad and punished him severely. He thought he'd never hear the end of that one. He barely managed to leave home for a couple of hours and come here. That girl had gotten him into a lot of trouble and she'd also sacred him with her firebending and all that "We will be the strongest couple in the universe! We'll dominate the Earth." thing. Like really, what was that all about? But, even so, he couldn't manage to get her out of his mind. He was always thinking about her. He wanted to forget her, he really did, but he couldn't. She was stunning. He'd never seen a girl more beautiful than her and he had quite a lot of experience if he did say so himself. He should be angry at her, but when he thought about the destroyed house, the only thing that came to mind was her sweet, soft kiss. That moment when their lips touched had been magical. Chan had to admit that, at least to himself. I'm stupid… and crazy, but… I love her. She creeped me out, but I think I kinda like that in a way… and I just can't be mad at her for getting me punished and yelled at by dad. Well, that doesn't matter now. She didn't even tell me her name and I'll never see her again. Besides, she seemed like someone who really cared about her image. I embarrassed her by leaving her, even though no one saw that. He started feeling very regretful. What he'd give to see her again, to be able to talk to her and ask for a second chance. And this crowd is too loud and it's suffocating. I can barely hear my own thoughts. The Royal Palace was about a dozen metres away to his right. Horrible moment to be there with all this agitation.

"Here comes the princess!" someone in front of Chan yelled. His ears were suffering horribly as the cheers got even louder. Beyond the sea of heads before him, he saw the princess's palanquin. The servants caring it stopped in front of the palace gates as they were opening. A man came to the side of the palanquin to greet the princess. He was a highly decorated officer by the looks of his uniform, probably a colonel or general. The princess raised the curtain to salute him back… Chan couldn't believe it. It's her! It's her! But… how? She didn't tell me she was the princess. This is impossible! I almost got together with the Fire Lord's daughter! I'm surprised she didn't kill me for leaving her… She was pretty far away, but he was sure it was her. Without thinking, Chan rushed ahead, almost knocking down the people in front of him and getting a few not-exactly-nice words in return. He ran forward, toward her, pushing and shoving everyone in his way. He almost reached her, just a few metres… Suddenly, he was almost knocked off his feet as a royal guard pushed him back in line with the others.

"Keep the distance," he said commandingly.

"But I have to talk to the princess! Please," Chan stepped forward, only for the soldier to shove him back again.

"Stay in line, citizen. I'm not telling you nicely again."

"Please, I need to-," Chan began

"Yeah, yeah, everyone wants to talk to the princess, I know," the guard cut him off. It was too late-the gates were closing behind the palanquin. That's it. That was the only occasion to say sorry and tell her how I feel. I'll never be able to talk to her again… He felt hopeless and he hated it. He hated that stupid guard, but, after all, the man was only doing his job, and Chan had to admit he did look like just another crazy fan of the Royal family.

Now the masses of citizens were beginning to dissipate. The guard that stopped Chan for talking to princess Azula-he finally knew her name now-as well as the other soldiers, were also moving away and positioning themselves at the gate to guard it.

Well, he was late already late for the lunch with his friends, but he wasn't a punctual person anyway. Now that he was starting to think about it, running like that toward the princess and trying to pass by that guard had been really reckless… and crazy. He should just forget it. He'd gotten what he'd asked for, he can't deny that. But… the princess? I'm the son of an admiral, that's a really big deal, but I'm nothing compared to her… HeHe hated giving up, accepting defeat. He should just be grateful she didn't kill him on Ember Island for leaving her completely alone on that balcony, during the night. I should just go to the restaurant, meet with my friends and forget all about this. She's the Fire Lord's daughter… and I already dumped her. How could have I been such an idiot? Not only that she's pretty much one of the most important and powerful people ever, but… she's wonderful. I love her. I really do. I missed the chance to be together with such a beautiful girl. She still scared him. Even more so now. But, he had to admit it made her very interesting and unique from all the other girls he went out with. That was really great. A normal person would back away from trying to get involved in a relationship with the princess. But if anything love did, it was making people not normal at all. This could, and probably would, end very badly, but Chan was a ladies man. He wasn't going to give up on the princess. If anyone could charm her, it was him.

Chan entered the restaurant and scanned the large room. Ruon-Jian and the others were sitting at a table in the far right corner. As he reached them, Yuo, the joker of the group, smiled sarcastically at him and said, "You're early."

"Hello to you too," Chan said, also sarcastically. "Man, it's a mess in the city. The princess returned and everyone was looming on the streets. I could barely breathe between all those people. Not to mention all their screaming and applauding."

"Yeah, that's why we came here earlier," Rua, the most cheerful of them. She was a beautiful girl, but Chan only thought of her as a friend. He'd known her since they were five years old. "We already ordered for you," she continued and gestured toward a bowl with noodles and vegetables in front of the empty seat next to Tuya, the most talented and creative of the group. She was a great singer, but she was also interested in fashion.

"Thanks," Chan said as he sat down to eat. "Guys, I gotta tell you something," he said. All of them turned their attention toward him, curiosity covering their faces.

"Do you remember that girl I kissed at the Ember Island party last week?" Chan asked.

"Sure," Ruon-Jian asked, raising his eyebrows. "The one that destroyed your house with her friends and scared all of us outta there. Pretty hard to forget her. Didn't you say she creeped you out with her firebending and all that nonsense about ruling the word. How crazy is that? I heard a lot of weird stuff, but never anything like that."

"Well, you're right," Chan admitted, "but, I can't stop thinking about her. I really love her. Oh, and she's the Crown Princess. The Fire Lord's daughter. That's why she said all that stuff about dominating the planet." All of them were shocked and stared in surprise and disbelief. Yuo spit the food he was chewing on the floor.

"What?" he said. "Princess Azula? At our party? And you almost got together with her? And then dumped her? Wow, your an idiot, Chan. She's like the richest, most influential person in the world! If she had a boyfriend, man, that guy would become prince at some point and could have everything he wanted.

"I know, I know," Chan said. "But my family has a lot of money too and I have pretty much everything I want, or at least I did before dad almost threw me out after the house was ruined. The point is, her status is great, but that's not why I want to be with her. I love her and I'm starting to think that a girl who can scare me like she did is pretty cool."

"Chan, you're out of your mind," Ruon-Jian said bluntly. "I know you think you can get any girl you want," he glanced at Rua and Tuya, "no offense. Anyway, you can't be together with the princess. You're lucky she even noticed you, not to mention liking you and not killing you for leaving her. You broke her heart and she still let you live. Man, she must've really been in love with you and all you did was-"

"Ok, ok!" Chan cut him off, annoyed. "I know I screwed up, but maybe she still has feelings for me. I mean, letting me walk away with my head above my shoulders after that is a big deal."

"I agree with Ruon-Jian," Tuya said. "I'm sorry to say it, but it's a horrible idea and you're gonna end up dead."

"Forget her," Yuo said. "They're right. It's not gonna turn out well."

"I can't," Chan said frustrated. "What you're saying is true, but I just can't stop thinking about her. I have to try talking to her."

"She's going to kill you," Rua said."Come on, Chan, we're your friends. We wouldn't want anything like that to happen to you."

"I wouldn't want that either, but I can't help it. I need to go to her, apologise and tell her how I feel."

"I'm telling you again," Ruon-Jian replied, "if you go to her, you're dead. And what are you gonna do anyway? Call her name at the palace doors?"

"I don't know," Chan said. "Maybe."

The sun shone high in the cloudless morning sky. Zuko didn't sleep well at all. He couldn't forget what he did in Ba Sing Se to his uncle. No matter how hard he tried to convince himself uncle was a traitor, he couldn't escape his… his guilt. Uncle Iroh's face when he decided to join Azula always came before his eyes when he tried to sleep. And it wasn't an angry face-it was far worse. It was a sad, disappointed face. But that was in the past. He shouldn't let that ruin the present. It was a beautiful day and the best part was that he was going to see Mai today and spend some nice time with her. Azula and him would meet her and Ty Lee at Mai's house. She'd help him forget all these miserable feelings. Zuko hadn't seen Azula this morning. She was probably still sleeping, but they agreed with Mai and Ty Lee to meet them in half an hour. He didn't want to be late when he'd see his girlfriend. The prince was ready to go. He just needed to wake Azula up.

Zuko walked through a couple of corridors until he reached his sister's room. He slowly opened the door and peeked inside, realising he had been right. Azula was sleeping soundly. He walked to the side of her bed and looked at her face for a few seconds. Her expression was so calm and innocent. Zuko smiled at his sleeping sister. Even after all the things she'd done to him, he still loved her and cared about her. He felt a little sorry to wake her up, but he had to, so he tapped her gently on the shoulder and said softly, "Wake up, Azula. We have to go."

She half opened her eyes and looked at him.

"Good morning, Zuzu," she said with a muffled voice as she was rubbing her eyes.

"Good morning," he said. "How did you sleep?"

"Really good, though I could've done without you waking me up," Azula answered yawning. "I'll go get dressed and put some makeup on."

"I'll wait for you at the palace gates," he said and started toward the door.

As Zuko left her room, Azula slowly got up from her bed and stretched her back a little. The princess had slept deeply and was well rested, ready to start her day. She stretched her back a little and stepped toward the wardrobe, opening it and taking out a kimono. She put it on and tied her hair. Then, she got to the mirror, washed her face and put makeup on her eyelashes. She blinked twice, making sure it was perfect and headed out.

It wasn't a very long way to the gates, but it wasn't short either. She enjoyed taking a breath of fresh air as she entered the front yard and continued toward the palace entrance. The sun rays were bathing her face and hair. They were so warm and gentle. She closed her eyes for a moment and just stood there under the sun's caress. It was very pleasant and relaxing. After a few moments though, she started walking again.

At the gates, there were eight servants waiting and two palanquins. Zuko was already seated in his, so Azula entered hers and pulled the curtains.

Chan reached the Royal Palace's gates. He knew he wouldn't be allowed to talk to Azula, so he wrote her a letter. He'll ask a guard to give it to her. Normally, no soldier would agree, but Chan will use his father's name so a firebender would do him a favour. He'd also bought her a very expensive and exotic necklace. It was a remarkable example of wonderful craftsmanship. The gold it was made of matched her beautiful, bright eyes perfectly and the red jewels it was decorated with would fit perfectly with her red clothes. Well, everyone in the Fire Nation wore red clothing, but the point is the necklace would be perfect for Azula. Chan was aware that she had access to the most expensive necklaces and jewelry in the world, but the one he bought her wasn't pretty close to the top.

There were four Imperial Firebenders at the gates led by an officer. Chan could tell he was a lieutenant, because his chest and shoulder armour was black. Other officers in the Royal Procession had more or less black and gold on their armour, depending on their rank.

Chan took two more steps before the lieutenant came forward.

"That's close enough, citizen. Turn back now," he said holding his palm forward.

"Hello," Chan began. "I would like to-"

"I said turn back," the lieutenant cut him off, in a louder and menacing tone. He quickly took a fighting stance as did the soldiers behind him.

Chan swallowed hard. These men were frightening and deadly, but he wouldn't back away. At least not until he did everything he could.

"Please, I need your help. My dad's an admiral and-"

"That's great, kid, but I don't really care. Get him out of here," the lieutenant ordered and motioned toward his soldiers. Two of the man passed him by and grabbed Chan's arms tightly. They started walking away from the gate and dragging him after them.

"Please! I need you to give this letter and necklace to the princess!" Chan said. He was struggling to get free, but the firebenders' grip was to firm, even for a strong man like him. "Everyone wants to give gifts to the princess. Don't you people get it? The Royal Family doesn't have time for your nonsense," the lieutenant said mockingly. Chan was beginning to lose any hope of making it up to Azula when suddenly the palace gates opened. The lieutenant and the other two guards turned to see who was coming out and immediately bowed before two palanquins carried by servants.

Chan felt a rush of happiness as he thought that Azula was likely in one of the two palanquins. The curtains from both carriages were lifted and both passengers looked confused outside. He was glad to see one of the two to be Azula and surprised that the other was that guy he and Ruon-Jian kicked out of the house during the party. Azula did say he was her brother after all. Oh dear, I threw the Fire Prince out of my house… and he didn't kill me on the spot either. Man, these two are the members of the Royal Family and had been kind and I was a jerk to them. I acted horribly. Even if they got me into trouble. He started to think he should just be grateful he wasn't dead and leave, but no. This was his chance. He'd take it.

"What's going on here?" the prince asked, annoyed.

"Prince, princess," the lieutenant greeted them. Chan couldn't see the man's expression behind his helmet, but he sounded anxious. He had to smile at that. Now that rude idiot became a respectful servant. "My men are taking this stupid citizen a few streets away from the palace. Just another fan who wanted to speak with you, princess. Like you had time to waste on something like this."

"That's Chan from the party at Ember Island," Zuko told Azula, a note of contempt in his voice.

Azula stared at Chan in surprise. She couldn't believe it. She was surprised he was stupid and defiant enough to come to the palace and demand to see her. It was unacceptable. Azula felt a powerful rush of anger run through her. The princess was outraged by his insolence. How dare he come here? No people are allowed in the palace, especially him after what he did… He humiliated me! I… really felt something for him. It was the first time I ever fell in love. And he just left me, the princess of the Fire Nation and a perfect girl whom every men would yearn to be together with! How ungrateful could he be! He stained my image! I should've killed him then and there, but I let him walk away, because I still loved him for a short while. And now he has the guts to come here? This shouldn't go unpunished.

The guards were continuing to drag Cahn away.

"Princess Azula, please hear me out! I'm so sorry about what I did. I was an idiot. I love you and I came to ask for your forgiveness."

Those last words touched a sore point. The images of how he left her on, that balcony, alone, were replaying through her mind. She pretended to laugh at his stupid jokes as Ty Lee had told her. Then, she said his arms looked very strong and they kissed.

Azula was now staring at a random spot, her eyes very distant as she was deep in thought and unaware of what was happening around her anymore.

Chan told her she was pretty. No one had ever made her such an honest and selfless compliment. Her father complimented her often, but that was because she was the perfect daughter for him. It was the least he could do and he still said those things only as long as she met his expectations. She always will, but his praise wasn't coming from an unconditionally loving and caring parent. Mai and Ty Lee also complimented her, but as friends. It was very different from the words of a lover, who would appreciate her far more and in a special way.

She had been really happy to hear Chan say that. That sensation, plus the exhilarating idea of someone loving her and wanting to make a couple with her got her carried away and she said they'd rule the world together. Maybe it hadn't been the best thing to say, but she just couldn't control what she said, only thinking about how great she was feeling. However, it really had been the best thing someone could offer you and that fool just got scared by a few words and a little fire. Pathetic.

In a corner of her mind, Azula was aware that Zuko had just asked her a question, but she couldn't hear him as she kept following her line of thought.

Chan should've thanked her bowing. This made her really angry, but also sad. She hated to admit it, even to herself, but he'd broke her heart that night and she suffered. It didn't that the feeling only lasted for a short time. It had been horrible. Maybe worse than even having to see everyday that mom loved Zuko more…

"Azula?" Zuko asked. Suddenly, she woke up from her reverie and shook her head.

"What?" she replied confusedly.

"I asked you what you want done with him," he said, nodding toward Chan. "His here for you, so it's your decision."

"I made a wrong choice and I regret it," Chan continued. The guards had dragged him about ten metres from the gate already and he kept struggling to get free, even though it was useless. "I can't stop thinking about you. I was so ungrateful for the opportunity to spend time with you and thank you for not killing me. I'm so sorry! Please, give me a second chance!"

Azula shouldn't even think about it. She already moved on and he didn't deserve anything. The princess was still surprised he dared to come here in the first place. She should probably order the firebenders to kill him, or do it herself. Azula opened her mouth to give the order, but something stopped her from speaking. She saw Chan's expression. He was pretty far from her, but she could read him well enough. To her disbelief, there was only truth in his eyes. He was honest with what he was saying. He… really loved her. No, my mind is playing tricks on me. It's impossible. But maybe… this is what I want to see? It doesn't matter, he's lying. He can't be telling the truth. If he loved me he wouldn't have left me. No matter how hard she tried to convince herself Chan was lying, she couldn't. She wanted to believe he was just faking. She didn't want to get hurt again. He was just playing with her. Of course he wanted to be with her, she was the princess.

"You're lying! You're a filthy liar! Sure you love me. Anything to be the princess's boyfriend. You just care about my status," she was trying to be calm, but she couldn't hold back her surge of anger.

"No, I don't care about that. My family is reach. I have everything I want. Why would I need more? I want to be with you because of how you are-amazing-not who you are," Chan said.

"Don't you think you've done her enough harm?" Zuko cut in."You had your chance and you missed it. Leave and never come back here again!"

Azula didn't need Zuko to stand up for her, but… she liked it in a way. There was a chance that, even with all his flaws and weaknesses and with the fact that he was inferior to her, he still cared about her. Zuzu really loved her. I may be better than him at everything, but maybe he isn't that pathetic after all. Thinking back to the current situation, she had to admit Chan had a point. Although she'd be surprised if his parents still fed him after what she, Zuko, Mai and Ty Lee did to his house-Azula had to smile at that memory-he had a point. His parents probably forgave him and he was just punished. This was just temporary and he'd get all the money and things he wants again in the near future. Azula didn't want to be hurt again and she couldn't believe her decision. It's stupid. It doesn't make any sense, but… I'll hear what this peasant has to say. Somewhere deep down, she knew she still loved him and wanted him to be honest, but she despised these feelings. Love makes you weak. I don't need it. I have my friends and that's enough. I could also do without them if I had to. Still, my heart keeps telling me to hear him out and I can't make it shut up… I just want this to be over with.

"Guards, release him," Azula said. The two men immediately let Chan go.

"Thank you," he said. "Again, I apologise-"

"Shut up already," she told him. Her eyes were closed and she put to fingers on her temple in a sign of tiredness.

"I guess I'll just leave you two alone," Zuko said. "I'll tell Mai and Ty Lee you're busy. The servants caring his palanquin started walking away from the palace. Azula exited hers amd motioned the servants caring it to go back inside.

"Come inside," she told Chan.

Chan followed Azula into a big, exoticly decorated room. He could see what looked like the most comfortable furniture in the world.

"I… I brought you these." He showed her the letter and the necklace. Before he could say another word, Azula grabbed Chan's collar and slammed him hard into the wall. He was shocked by her sudden movement and by her sheer strength. He worked out a lot and was very strong and also taller than her, yet she easily pushed him. This made her even more impressive. And scarier. She made a small flame from her palm and held it threateningly at Chan's neck, while keeping the other hand on his collar.

"You broke my heart! You humiliated me! You left me like I was just another one of those brainless girls you go on dates with! How dare you! And more than that, how dare you come to me after what you did? You're my and my father's servant like everyone else in this country. How insolent and arrogant could you be to even consider coming to our palace, lowly peasant?" she said. He noticed Azula's face was red with anger and she was frowning. She was right about him, though.

"I've been thinking about you everyday after the party. At first you creeped me out, but then I realised how cool your power and ambition make you. Never seen a girl like you before. I began to realise I was fool to leave you. I've been a jerk. I didn't appreciate the wonderful chance to be your boyfriend. I regret that decision more than anything I've done in my life. I know citizens aren't allowed to come to the palace, but I couldn't stand not being with you. I really began to miss you. Thank you and your brother for not ending me in a couple of flames after abandoning you and kicking him out of my house. I… I had no idea who you were."

"Oh, so if I'd told you I'm the Fire Lord's daughter you would have behaved differently? You're not doing a good job of making me forgive you," Azula told him sarcastically, bringing her hand with the flame closer to his face. Chan could feel it's heat and knew that it was a centimetre away from burnishing his face.

"What I'm trying to say is that knowing you were the princess would have helped me understand how fortunate I was to meet you. But you're not just the Crown Princess, wonderful for who you are. You're so beautiful and smart and I enjoyed spending time with you at the party. You're really interesting. You are a no-nonsense, strong and confident person and I'd like to get to know you better. I've already told you this, but I love you. From the bottom of my heart."

After hearing those words, Azula's frown was gone as her features relaxed. Instead, a wave of sadness covered her face. She extinguished the flame coming out of her hand and let him go.

"You're the first person I fell in love with. I wanted you to be my boyfriend and all you did was make me suffer. You don't deserve me. You're nothing." Azula folded her arms and looked away from him with an indifferent expression.

"I don't know what else I could say or how I could show you how sorry I am for letting you down. All I can say is, my life would be miserable without you and I'll never forgive myself for losing you. I'll feel regret and desperation for years to come, perhaps for ever. I'd live horribly and pitifully, even with another girlfriend. Azula, I need you," Chan said humbly. The princess still wasn't looking at him, but something in his voice, the sincerity or perhaps the humbleness, made her turn her head and look him in the eye. He really… needs me to be happy? If I don't forgive him, would that really brake him? Countless servants, soldiers and the rest of the population of the Fire Nation have humiliated themselves before me, because they were respectful and scared, but Chan is doing it out of love. True, selfless love. He may be a dullard, but he actually cares about me.

"No one told me things like these before. I've never heard something nicer, not even from my parents." She heard a hint of sorrow in her own voice after saying that. Her family life wasn't great at all, but this wasn't the time to think about that. "I say you deserve a second chance." Without thinking, she stepped closer to Chan and noticed he was doing the same. Their gazes were locked. He put his arms around her and their lips touched in a sweet, gentle kiss. They parted after almost a minute.

"I'm the most fortunate man in the world," he said, smiling.

"Yeah, you are," Azula said, smiling back at him.

"I wanted to give you this letter, but I guess it's not the case anymore. Also, I bought you this necklace. It's one of the most expensive ones on the market. I figured I'd either give you this or a bouquet of fire lilies. I decided the necklace is a more convincing apology gift," Chan told the princess, handing her the necklace. She took it and looked at it.

"Well, I've seen better, but it's not bad. Not at all." She chuckled as she put on the necklace. "Thanks."

"It fits you perfectly," Chan said. "You look great," he passed. "I know you were supposed to meet with your friends and that this is all out of a sudden, but would you like to go with me to Ember Island? It's pretty far, but we can be back tomorrow."

"Mai, Ty Lee and my brother can wait. I'll spare a day to go with you to Ember Island."

The weather was perfect on Ember Island during that afternoon. It was very sunny and the sky was as blue as the ocean ahead.

Azula and Chan were sitting on two mattresses, staring at the wonderful scenery before them. He put his right arm around her shoulders. They stayed there silently for a long time. There was no need for words. They just enjoyed the time spent together. After a while, Azula started to speak.

"You know, I didn't get much love as a kid. Mom loved my brother more and while I was, and still am, my dad's favourite, he rarely gave me any attention." She hesitated. "He expects so much of me and while I'm more than up to the challenge, sometimes it's hard to just catch my breath. I'm just happy I found someone who does show me he loves and cares about me."

"I do care about you," he began, "but it must be frustrating to live like that. Don't you have moments when you just break down under all that stress? You're really though if you can stand it."

"I deal very well with it, actually. I got used to, I guess."

"Well, you have me now and I don't expect anything from you. I love you just like that."

"I love you too," Azula said. She really did and she was glad she gave him the opportunity to make up for his mistake.

Chan noticed she seemed a little upset.

"You ok?" he asked.

"I'm fine," the princess replied. "It's just… maybe I am a little stressed." Azula found it pretty hard to talk about her feelings. For years she'd been used to keeping everything to herself. There were things she didn't even discuss with Mai and Ty Lee. However, Chan was encouraging her to talk about what was on her mind and she admitted it could do her good. There's no harm in trying. "All my life I've been struggling to be the best, to be perfect. I know I sound like an old woman, but I think I'm a little tired."

"That's fine," Chan said. He got up from the mattress and sat down behind Azula, putting his hands on her shoulders. "We're here to relax. You are pretty tensed. Do you think some massage could help?"

"It's worth a try," she told him as she lay down on the mattress.

"Try to relax and think about our surroundings, like the ocean, the sun, the birds' songs."

As Chan placed his hands on her back, Azula felt his kind and gentle touch. She hadn't experienced anything like that before, but it was very pleasant. As Chan was massaging her back, she concentrated at everything around her: the bright sun, the feeling of it's warm rays on her skin, the pure blue sky at which she could stare for hours and the slow, wide movements of the waves. Azula liked the smell of the ocean as well. It was an unusual odour, the scent of the salt making it special and enjoyable. The princess could hear the birds singing around them. They made beautiful sounds as peaceful as the splashing of the waves against the shore. It was really relaxing to hear this and Chan's massage was also helping a lot. Azula felt so good, she forgot about everything else besides his touch and what she was hearing. She felt very calm and relaxed.

After a while it became hard to focus. The princess was starting to lose awareness of what was around her and soon, she couldn't keep her eyelids open anymore. Azula felt her eyes close as she fell asleep.

Azula's skin was so soft and Chan felt a sudden rise of temperature minutes ago when he started massaging her and he was still feeling it now. He began sweating as well. He was aware that, while it was very warm outside, he was feeling like this because he enjoyed touching her very much.

"Do you feel better?" Chan asked her. She didn't say anything. "Azula?" he said again, putting his hand on her left shoulder and giving her a nudge. She still didn't say anything. He looked at her face and noticed that her eyes were closed and she was sleeping peacefully. Wow. That means she really liked my massage. She was so relaxed that she fell asleep.

Chan turned Azula with her back on the mattress and put his arms around her, the princess's head resting on his right shoulder. He looked at her beautiful face with soft features and caressed her on the top of her head. I'm the luckiest man in the world. I have the best girlfriend ever, he thought joyfully. He just sat there, his girlfriend in his arms as he stared at the ocean. He didn't need anything else. He felt great with Azula and spending time her was all he wanted.

After sometime, an hour or two, Chan had no idea, the princess opened her eyes. She seemed a little confused.

"Did I fall asleep?" she asked.

"Yeah. You looked so calm and peaceful. This means you felt good and that my massage was good as well."

Azula chuckled at that joke. Far better than the sand jokes she thought.

They kissed again, passionately, for minutes as the sun was beginning to set and they both felt it's last rays on their cheeks.

Azula was standing in the living room of Mai's house with her, Zuko and Ty Lee. She was thinking how great she felt yesterday with Chan and she was looking forward for the next time.

"So, how did it go with Chan?" Mai asked.

"It was good," Azula said, trying to sound neutral. She didn't want to show other people her side that loved Chan. It was only for him and it would make her weak. Even in front of her friends and brother.

"I'm actually surprised you gave him a second chance," Mai continued. "I wouldn't."

"Well, he proved me his feelings are true, even if he made a wrong step at first."

"It's good you found someone you like," Zuko said as he put his hand around Mai's shoulders. They smiled at each other.

Normally, Azula would find that gross and wouldn't hold back from telling them just that, but being together with Chan changed her perspective on showing affection to another person.

"You must like him a lot," Ty Lee told Azula, smiling.

"He's, uh, not bad. I guess he's kind of handsome," she was speaking fast with uncertain words, not knowing what to say and stuttering. She looked away as she felt her heart beating very fast and her face warm. She knew she was blushing. Azula was always sure of herself and always spoke clearly, never stuttering. The princess was even a little shy now. All these scared her. I'm not like this. I'm strong and confident. Always. She was annoyed with herself. But with these pathetic reactions came the wonderful feeling of having a loving boyfriend. It's funny how love makes me timid and confused. Chan is the only one who should see me like this. I have to control my emotions around others.

"Azula, you're blushing," Ty Lee said, chuckling

"I'm not!" Azula replied, raising her voice and frowning.

"Just relax, it's nothing to be ashamed. Love is amazing."

"Shut up! I'm not blushing!" the princess yelled.

Ty Lee suddenly became sad and hurt that her friend shouted at her.

That's what she deserves for mocking me. She should be thankful I didn't throw flames at her.

"Azula, calm down," Zuko told her. "She didn't do anything wrong."

The princess gritted her teeth.

"I'm sure you'd be just as neutral if I picked on you for spending time with Mai," she said.

Zuko frowned but didn't say anything. He didn't want to escalate the fight, though he would reply to her if she continued. The best thing to do was to just let Azula say what she had to say and then they'd all get over this.

"Let's forget this," Ty Lee said.

After a few seconds, Azula felt her anger dissipate. I guess I've just proved how I feel about Chan by yelling.

"Just don't ask me private stuff again," she said.

"I won't. I promise," Ty Lee said, her smile reappearing on her face.

#Azula Week 2020 #romance #azulaweek2020 #Day1 #Fanfiction

[punkscowardschampions]

Jac & Jesse

Jac: [Okay, so it's year 2, so she would be just 18 and Jesse would be just 17, it's their last year of school and exams are looming etc etc, all the behaviour has become business as usual so everyone would've just stopped freaking out as hard because you'd wear yourself out otherwise it isn't sustainable, I'm vibing that this is around Christmas time, just because I'm cruel and then we can use the worried Xmas picture LMAO] Jesse: [I like that because then it's not that far into school year 2 aka close to uni looming but it has been ages since her and Amelia started their whole fwb bs so a mood] Jac: [I think it makes sense because it's like, a year since everything started really so it's as raw in a weird way 'cos it's like a shit anniversary lol] Jesse: [agreed, soz boy that I haven't fleshed you out enough to know what's been going in your life for this year besides fame] Jac: [you can be vague, at least, because this convo will not be about you, fill in the blanks later, not all of us are wilding all the time] Jesse: [and not all of us are oversharers like Savannah lol he'd be keeping shit to himself even if it was all kicking off] Jac: [true tea, anyway, I will start this] Jac: Hey, where are you? Jesse: [somewhere he likes to go to write and generally have privacy] Jac: Oh, okay Jac: never mind, it's cool Jesse: ? Jac: I just was gonna ask Jac: well, I don't know what I was gonna ask actually so yeah, ignore this Jesse: What's wrong? Jac: I looked and I couldn't find it Jac: but it was kind of a hole so maybe I just missed it Jac: but I was sick loads and loads I had to get off the bus so I know that's gone Jesse: hang on, what? Jac: You know Jac: I'm not a total mess Jac: I always make sure, after Jac: even if I'm super gone, I've never forgot Jesse: alright Jesse: stop talking in riddles for a sec, I dunno what you're going on about Jac: I went to this party, a week ago Jac: no Jac: more like two, fuck, three? Jac: I don't know, but anyway Jac: I remember looking for a condom in the bin on the floor in the sheets whatever Jac: and I remember because I didn't find one so it got through the haze Jac: and then when I was coming home I was sick and I'd literally just dry-swallowed my pill 'cos I keep them in my bag or my bra or whatever I've got on me Jesse: Fuck Jesse: alright, we can sort this Jac: Where do I go? is it the GP or do I have to go to one of those clinics? Jesse: I'm having a look Jesse: where are you now? Jac: I don't want to go to the doctors Jac: can they tell mum and dad Jac: it's meant to be patient confidentiality but literally everyone found out when Millie H got crabs Jesse: you don't have to do nowt you don't want Jesse: I'll figure something out Jac: I don't have no one else to ask Jac: sorry Jesse: shut up Jesse: you don't need to ask anyone else, I'll sort it Jac: I don't know why I didn't get the morning after Jac: well I do but it's so fucking stupid to say it now Jesse: you never said where you were Jac: just got out of work Jesse: I'll be there as soon as Jesse: get a ☕ Jac: I feel like all of my insides are gonna come out Jac: this is bad Jac: what the fuck am I gonna do, Jess Jesse: don't start, you'll do your own head in before owt's even happened Jac: how the fuck does this even happen Jac: it's ridiculous Jesse: [sends her whatever he's been working on like distract yourself with telling me how crap this is etc] Jac: What are you doing Jesse: what kind of question is that? Jesse: just sent you it Jac: why Jac: I don't have the time or desire to listen to that right now Jesse: are you waiting for me or what? Jac: I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know if you got the general vibe of my messages Jesse: sit down for a bit Jac: fine Jesse: It'll be alright Jesse: I know where we're going Jac: that's the first step in this marathon shitshow, I suppose Jesse: 👍 Jac: your downplay isn't really helping, just so you know Jesse: we can't both lose it, dickhead Jac: if there's a time for it, it's now Jesse: might be in a bit, not now Jac: so you're waiting for your moment, okay Jesse: that alright with you? Jac: not really Jac: but whatever, it's the least of my problems now Jesse: you're 18, they can't say nowt to ma and da that's one less Jac: oh, true Jac: thank god I waited 'til after September to ruin my life then Jac: as long as the receptionists don't catch wind Jesse: they won't give it me, as a lad case I were forcing it down some lass's throat against her will Jac: what do you mean Jesse: if I could just leg it in there for you I would Jac: obviously you can't Jac: we don't know if it's even happened Jac: or what I'm gonna do if it has Jesse: yeah Jac: you're thinking of morning after Jac: but they don't give that to blokes now either Jesse: about as much I know about this, that Jac: have much experience then Jesse: not really Jac: you'd know if you had Jac: probably wait 'til you've earnt more money to rinse you of it Jesse: sounds about right Jac: not worth the negatives at this stage Jesse: tah Jac: not me doing you a favour by not getting pregnant Jesse: obviously Jac: 🙄 Jesse: 🙄 Jac: shut up Jac: you're so annoying Jesse: 🤐 Jac: ugh Jac: you say nothing yet you still say the wrong thing Jac: it'd be a skill if it wasn't clearly the opposite Jesse: what's the right thing? Jac: If I knew that there'd be no need for you or the conversation Jesse: come on Jac: what? Jesse: you reckon I'm getting it wrong, you must have some clue what ain't Jac: I don't Jac: you're just Jac: I don't know Jesse: say it Jesse: might make you feel less shit Jac: ha Jac: wouldn't that be nice Jac: miraculous, even Jesse: 🎄🎅 Jac: I wasn't looking to be the next Mary, tah Jesse: that were Jude's role in the nativity, not yours Jac: her years seriously lacking in talent Jesse: Dunno how top we can say ours is for having me stick a tea towel on my head Jac: it's not a musical Jac: the shit film was made Jesse: could've been if they'd let me have any lines instead of that 🐑 to chuck about Jac: as damning as this glimpse into your psyche is Jac: you really think you chatting about 4 year olds singing silent night is the thing I need right now Jesse: alright, kids ain't the ideal subject Jesse: I get it Jac: no shit Jac: you all do my head in with this shit Jac: honestly, peaking at vaguely racial costuming is the saddest thing I've ever heard Jac: and my life is currently in the toilet Jesse: piss off have I peaked at owt Jesse: ain't even properly packed for my gig yet, like Jac: it's you who's bitter at being snubbed for joseph Jac: no need to read between the lines, dickhead Jesse: never said that Jesse: he was well fit and had 🥇 line delivery Jac: don't be disgusting Jac: I don't know why you even remember these things, any of you Jesse: leave it out Jac: you Jesse: it's bollocks that you're saying you don't Jac: I don't Jac: and I don't care either Jac: and if I have to spend one more minute around you chuntering on about this shit that doesn't matter and never did Jac: I'm actually going to scream Jesse: go for it Jesse: I'm here now, you can properly aim it at me Jac: [just staring him down to make a point of looking at him like #unphased 'you got an appointment?'] Jesse: [we just nodding like yep let's go but not moving because we're rushing no bitch especially not for something like this] Jac: [obviously walking in whatever direction we need to] Jesse: [love a silence that should be awkward but is actually comfortable] Jac: [for you anyway but us losing our mind be happening regardless so yeah] Jesse: [we know he is too but shh because now is not the time for you to be scared sir] Jac: [get this appointment done so you can go away and think about what you're doing] Jesse: [hit her with the feelsy JJ lean while you're waiting so she knows you care though thank you] Jac: [just getting out of there like 'I wanna go to work but I've only just left and they're shut' no place to go casually] Jesse: [he should take her somewhere feelsy even if it is because it's not, if that makes sense, like for it's normality] Jesse: [I'd suggest his work but that's unlikely to be shut unless they had that appointment at a really weird hour lol] Jesse: [somewhere she'd actually appreciate being rn is the point anyway] Jac: [we'll just go anywhere rn 'cos truly nowhere else to go] Jesse: [even if he's just driving/walking you around aimlessly, we're giving you time to think gal] Jac: [we're just scrolling furiously through our phone right now to the socials/texts from said night] Jesse: [meanwhile he's ignoring his because we blatantly have shit that we're supposed to be doing that we're obviously not] Jac: [thrusting the phone in his face casually with a picture of this dude like it means anything 'do I call him now?'] Jesse: [a look like do you want to because we don't know this dude and even if we did it's up to her if she wants to have that convo with him or not] Jac: [when you do that pause like well, elaborate please] Jesse: ['it don't need to be now' cos it really doesn't like you literally just found out and are probably in shock] Jac: [nods like okay 'so what am I doing now?' we literally just wanna be told what to do] Jesse: [we're taking her to get sugary tea and some food even if she doesn't eat or drink it, leading her there like she is a bub] Jac: [probably automatically eating and drinking without complaint we are that out of it] Jesse: [it's okay he's got enough wits about him to go somewhere where they won't run into millions of people they know because not rn thank you] Jac: [just a ball of energy because we need to do something but what can you right now] Jesse: [such a bobbing lil leg under that table, both of y'all] Jac: ['this is not-' shakes head] Jesse: [just looking at her like what because not the time either to put words in her mouth] Jac: ['this was not in my plan'] Jesse: ['do you wanna stick to the one you had or have a different crack at it?'] Jac: ['if it were that easy-' face like it'd be done and we wouldn't be sat here] Jesse: [nods and drinks that tea] Jac: ['this changes it regardless' letting that sit there and sink in] Jesse: [let it hit him how big of a deal this actually is because up until now we haven't let ourselves think about it/have been focused on the minute by minute actions of all this] Jac: ['no matter what I do'] Jesse: ['I'll be about no matter what' like love you babe always gonna be here for you 'dead comforting that, yeah?'] Jac: [scoffs 'yeah, condemning everyone to the same life sentence of an unwanted child about or the gnawing guilt of murdering it is exactly what I wanted'] Jesse: ['murder's a bit strong'] Jac: [shrugs 'not really'] Jesse: [shrugs back like if that's what you reckon] Jac: ['I know what you reckon I should do, alright'] Jesse: [a look like yeah obviously because I think you should do what's right for you] Jac: ['well it isn't that fucking simple, Jesse, so just' the hand mime that's like closing your fingers like sh] Jesse: [mimes the 🤐] Jac: ['you might not say much but you're loud with it, I know you, remember'] Jesse: [a look back like and I know you too] Jac: ['he already has some'] Jesse: [😒 because how old is this man tbh and who is he we don't stan] Jac: ['not like I knew at the time, but I've checked him out since, obviously'] Jesse: [gestures like gimme your phone so I can look] Jac: [does, he can easily be in his 20s and my vibe is a kid when he was like 17/18 and then one a few years later] Jesse: [just stalking this dude and drinking our tea, looks fun and casual but isn't] Jac: ['he has a right to know, right?' like genuinely ?] Jesse: ['Probably, but I ain't gonna force you to tell him if you don't want to'] Jac: ['you aren't going to force me to do anything, or anyone else; but morally...' shrugs 'it'd be better not to know, in loads of ways'] Jesse: ['Did he say owt to you after?' because there is that condom uncertainty so like did he wanna follow up is our question or was he not bothered] Jac: ['no, I don't know him' like duh 'I had to ask Darla his name'] Jesse: [a look like there you go then, don't worry too much about him rn because clearly he ain't worried about if he got your pregnant or not] Jac: [🙄 'obviously it's not a concern until it happens, that's kind of the point'] Jesse: [🙄 back because it is a concern before it happens for loads of people but whatever] Jac: ['is this helpful? he didn't wear a condom, that doesn't mean he doesn't wanna be or deserve to be contacted, by that rhetoric the only people who would would be the ones you didn't need to'] Jesse: ['never said it did, and I never said don't bother contacting him'] Jac: ['just because you don't vocalize it, doesn't get you out of any responsibility for implying it with what you don't, for fuck's sake, when are you gonna grow a backbone?'] Jesse: 'what I vocalised were it don't have to happen right the fuck now and it don't, take a sec for fuck's sake'] Jac: ['no because we're on a fucking timeline here, we don't have a sec!' raising our voice assumedly higher than the hushed tones we've been keeping] Jesse: [putting a hand on her arm like calm down but not a patronising calm down just like the equivalent of the JJ soft hey but not in words] Jac: ['no' and pushing his hand away but in a more calm manner not aggressively so 'the longer you delay this the worse it gets, it has to be dealt with now'] Jesse: [eye contact because we will not be fobbed off hen 'I get that but you only found out about an hour ago, like'] Jac: ['I fail to see the point in meditating on it, like' looking back obvs 'and anyway, the fact remains I still DON'T know what I'm going to do so you've got what you want there anyway'] Jesse: [a look like don't be a dickhead 'you don't reckon you might be in a bit of shock or whatever, nah?' but it's not a question cos we know you are and then a look like you can piss right off if you think this is what I want] Jac: ['and what? if I sleep on it this will be any less of a life-changing, earth-shattering shock?' shakes head like don't be stupid] Jesse: [a sigh because we don't know what to do or what to say] Jac: ['it's very sweet of you to want to fix this-' our tone suggests we think otherwise lol '-but that ain't why I called you'] Jesse: [a look like yeah no shit because we know she didn't have anyone else to call] Jac: ['I literally just need you to help me make the decision and then be there, not make me fucking okay with it, that isn't what this is'] Jesse: ['alright' genuinely we do mean it] Jac: ['thank you' big sigh] Jesse: [getting more tea for you both, it won't fix it but it is our love language] Jac: [just be having a google about all the possible things you could ever need to know for every available option] Jesse: [you too boy while you're waiting for that tea because why not] Jac: [casually terrifying ourselves lol but necessary evil 'cos yeah, can't not do this shit 'I hope you feel fucking lucky not to have a uterus'] Jesse: [nodding because we do after all this googling if we didn't before] Jac: [ah the biological unfairness of being born a girl lol] Jesse: [I hate it and all I've had to deal with are periods so] Jac: [literally being a straight girl/girl who has sex with men is lowkey mental torture like constant worry and if it does happen any outcome is bad like] Jesse: [agreed and y'all are gonna have to go home eventually and that upsets me to think about] Jac: [let us say that's hit you rn bitch 'what are we gonna...am I gonna say? I don't-' we mean speak 'cos literally tis the season lol] Jesse: [when that hits you then because again there's no right answer to this 'if you owt to be said, I can'] Jesse: [*want] Jac: ['I don't want it but-' a massive pause whilst we try to get our voice back to how it usually sounds and not straining 'cos you're about to cry 'cos we don't want that, then when you speak again it's barely audible '- how many more secrets am I expected to carry'] Jesse: [scoots his chair as close to her as he physically can because it's time for another feelsy lean that means 1. I love you 2. you can tell me anything 3. most importantly you can tell this whole fam literally anything even Jude who is a lot] Jac: [shakes head like clearly not but we don't move away] Jesse: [letting this moment happen because it's been so long for you both] Jac: [literally a year in all the senses lol] Jesse: [soz that we've done this to you lads] Jac: ['I don't think I can do any of this'] Jesse: ['you ain't got a choice, not to sit back and do nowt, I mean'] Jac: ['I know'] Jesse: [pushes her tea towards her like drink up because again it's our love language and they can't stay forever] Jac: [at least there's an excuse to go to the bathroom and filmically have a moment] Jesse: [and at least when they get home she's in the basement so he can be doing music shit  lowkey all night without it being blatant that he's checking on her] Jac: [we can skipperoo to that] Jesse: [agreed] Jac: [say that she was out of work 5 ish, say that took an hour at the least two at the most, they get home 7 ish, this is like late/early AM] Jac: Are you awake? Jesse: 👍 Jesse: [strums a note on the guitar or presses one on the keyboard like hello] Jac: I thought you were meant to be talented Jesse: where'd you hear that? Jesse: sounds like a load of bollocks Jac: Probably Jac: isn't everything on the 'gram Jesse: ✔ Jac: you'll have to come with me Jesse: Alright Jac: I just need to decide how to do it Jac: obviously I can't have it Jesse: did you work out how many weeks ago it were? Jac: three Jesse: I can give 'em a ring in a few hours, see how long you'll have to wait to get an appointment Jac: it can be up to 2 weeks Jac: that's what it says Jesse: I'll take the first one they offer us Jac: maybe that's to get it done Jac: it's all confusing Jac: and you can get the pills online and they won't prosecute you now but I still don't know how safe or fast that'll be either Jesse: soon as I can speak to someone, I'll ask whatever we ain't worked out Jac: pills have to be faster, even if they have to order them in, that's only a day or two Jac: two weeks is too long Jac: but the operation might be less scary Jac: I don't know Jesse: [sends her whatever he can find about people's actual experiences even though it's probably terrifying because the only way to really decide] Jac: I don't want to do this Jesse: I know Jac: this is why everyone does it Jac: has the kids Jac: I can't do this Jesse: can you do that though? Jac: I can't do any of this Jesse: not to be a dickhead, but you have to Jac: I know that Jesse: [playing some kind of song from their childhood whether that's a JJ or grandma Ali mood like this will comfort us while we ponder] Jesse: I dunno about waiting times for it but if you want it over and done sooner, the operation takes less time Jesse: couple of hours and you'll be back home Jac: yeah Jac: the pills can take days Jac: and you have to make sure it all comes away what if it doesn't Jac: how would I know what's too much blood Jesse: you'd have to call 'em or I would Jac: I wish they'd knock you out for the operation Jac: that's all Jesse: yeah, I get that Jac: it's punishment anyway Jac: there's no lesser it's just picking one and sticking to it Jesse: are you gonna tell anyone else, other than me and him? Jac: I don't know Jac: there's no point, I guess Jesse: might be a bit of a headfuck doing the 2nd pill at home if ma and da don't know, all I were thinking Jesse: but we could go somewhere else Jac: I don't want them to know Jac: I wish I didn't know Jesse: Alright Jac: when it's over forget you ever did Jesse: come on Jac: keep it to yourself then Jac: I don't want to talk about it Jesse: you might and I'll be about if you do Jesse: don't mean I'll be shouting about it Jac: nah Jesse: up to you, that Jac: just leave it Jesse: I heard you Jesse: I'll leave it out Jac: Good Jesse: ☕? Jac: no thanks Jac: I don't need stained teeth as well as a ruined womb Jesse: I'll pick you up a whitening kit when I go work in a bit Jac: 🙄 Jac: can't really drink tea through a straw like you can your coffee Jesse: if you're willing to look like a twat you can do owt Jesse: nobody's about to 👀 any road Jesse: I've had customers cracking on with all sorts Jac: I'd sooner be found dead in a ditch than be one of your customers Jesse: charming Jac: like it weren't obvious Jesse: never said it weren't Jesse: still a bit rude Jac: what, that I'm not a pretentious hipster that likes to pretend shit music is amazing and everyone else is too stupid to get it Jesse: that you'd rather 💀 than have a ☕ off me Jac: I don't know why you'd expect different Jesse: I never said that either Jac: then why say anything at all Jesse: 🤐 Jac: about right Jesse: 🤏 Jac: what does that even mean Jesse: it'll do Jac: whatever Jac: not as if there's any choice in the matter Jesse: what does that mean? Jac: you're annoying and you've got nothing to say Jac: that's just how it is Jesse: alright then Jac: yeah, case in point Jesse: suits you often enough that it's the case Jac: yeah, love that I hate you all Jac: it's a right laugh Jesse: for us an' all Jac: as I said, no choice in the matter Jac: just get on with it Jesse: 👍 Jac: I'll do the pills Jesse: I'll be about Jac: whatever Jesse: you've gotta have somebody with you Jac: I'm sure plenty didn't and don't Jac: if it gets to much, call an ambulance Jesse: you heard, I'll be here Jac: and I said, whatever Jesse: let me know when then Jac: 👍 Jesse: 👌 Jac: no, it's not Jesse: no shit Jac: so quit with this shit and acting like it is Jesse: you Jac: I'm not Jac: I just wanna face my time and do it Jesse: I'm getting my head round it Jac: why? Jac: what's to get, it won't be here Jesse: that's to get if nowt else Jesse: you've gotta do this Jac: so, that has nothing to do with you Jac: it's my mistake my problem Jesse: all that shit I've read ain't just going in one 👂 and out the other Jesse: and it don't have to be my mistake or problem for me to be bothered Jac: then don't get someone pregnant Jac: really welcome for the cautionary tale Jesse: tah Jac: just go away and go to bed Jesse: I ain't finished, there'll be sod all point going to bed when I am Jac: great Jesse: I'll live Jac: I don't care about you Jac: I'm trying to sleep Jesse: crack on then Jesse: I won't stop you Jac: I can't sleep when you're down here Jesse: alright, I'll piss off Jac: thank you Jesse: night Jac: yep Jac: [the next day/day after potentially] Jac: I got the pills Jac: if you're still interested Jesse: they give you the 1st one at the clinic or what? Jesse: how I read it Jac: then you know Jac: I'm gonna fake an abortion for your attention? Jac: obviously not Jesse: piss off Jac: I'm not in the mood Jesse: I'd have gone with you Jac: no need Jesse: do you need picking up now? Jac: I had a cab Jac: they make sure you aren't gonna get off in a car and crash or whatever Jesse: you home? Jac: where else Jesse: is anyone else about or what? Jac: yeah, if you didn't want to do this Jac: you should've said from the start Jac: then I wouldn't have bothered with any of this Jesse: if you'd have said you were doing it I'd be there waiting for you Jac: forget it Jac: you're more of a hindrance than a help Jesse: for not being a 🧠📖 yeah alright Jac: no, for making this remotely about you Jac: and being such a fucking pushover Jac: sometimes, you don't take no for an answer Jac: I was fucking terrified last night and you just left Jac: so fuck you, I don't need you now Jesse: you told me to leave Jac: and? Jac: I can't do this right now, Jesse Jac: I'm literally fucking killing my baby as we speak and you still wanna say you were just doing what I said, anything for an easy life Jac: you're not my problem now, I shouldn't have picked you, simple as Jesse: well you fucking did pick me Jesse: and you know why Jesse: that's about you, not me Jac: because at one point you could be fucking relied upon Jac: my mistake you're actually useless now, well great, thank you SO much Jesse: I got it wrong Jesse: I'm sorry Jac: I needed you to break through Jac: at least try, my God Jesse: I thought you needed space Jesse: I don't know Jac: I don't have enough of that Jac: it's convenient for you to all leave me alone now Jac: you don't like me, whatever Jac: I just needed you to put that aside for this Jesse: piss off, I've fucking tried for a year Jesse: I don't know how to do this with you any more, I don't know you Jac: this isn't run of the mill Jac: it's pretty special circumstances Jac: it is to me Jesse: tah for that, I hadn't realised Jesse: fucking hell Jac: can you just stop Jesse: yeah Jac: Are you gonna come home or what? Jesse: I'm on my way Jac: okay Jesse: is anyone else there or what? Jac: I think Cammie and Jameson were but I just came straight down so they didn't try to talk to me Jac: they might've gone by now Jesse: I'll come in that way Jac: I wasn't just being a bitch, by the way Jac: I bled through the pad I put on Jesse: it don't matter if you were, they'll live Jesse: do you need me to get you anything? Jac: they're used to it too Jac: I've got the painkillers Jesse: I'll just hurry up then Jac: won't be going anywhere Jesse: [we're not saying anything because we're hurrying lol] Jac: [fairplay hen] Jesse: [is gonna bring her loads of things that she could possibly want though obvs to a laughable degree] Jac: [a hot water bottle is a good idea so say you thought of that lol] Jesse: [yeah, cue montage of him giving her a comical amount of things that she lowkey doesn't want or need but there will be some useful shit in there too] Jac: [okay so just watched a quick video, and the worst is infection, sepsis as very worst, it not all coming away, or the tablets not working and this is worked out by going through more than 2 pads an hour with blood, a bad smell down there, a really high fever and the pain not being helped like at all by pain relief methods; we'll let that not happen because it is enough lol, so the basics are severe pain, cramps and blood, nausea, vomiting, diarhea, being shivery hot, you pass tissue and clots and this is meant to take 1-2 days but can last TIL YOUR NEXT PERIOD, the cramps also last about TWO WEEKS, pregnancy symptoms should ease after a couple of days, like being sick, but you can still have tender breasts for several weeks, you can't take the test to confirm the pregnancy is terminated 'til THREE WEEKS later, because the hormones stay around, you aren't allowed sex for 2 weeks BUT IF YOU DO YOU CAN GET PREGNANT IMMEDIATELY AFTER AN ABORTION but like we won't be, you're also not allowed to bath for 2 days and if you have a shower you have to have someone there in case you faint] Jac: [thought we should have this v basic rundown] Jesse: [thank god he is there and not leaving her for a bloody second because I can't even] Jac: [this is what we say when nobody WANTS an abortion hun, this is brutal, we're so rude] Jesse: [worst christmas ever] Jac: [yeah this tops last year and yours before that Amelia, not that we having a competition but hey ho] Jesse: [also thank god that we said that birthday flower drama happened and they broke up so Amelia isn't there casually like oh hey] Jac: [I was thinking if we do want her to know/be real drama, she could try to hit her up, it is Christmas lol] Jesse: [yeah that's always an option because she'll never get you pregnant hun] Jac: [oops, I meant that the other way around, did not write that properly, like Amelia tryna be a bit casual like hey don't be mad it's Xmas and then Jac could flip and it'll obviously be more than the flowers] Jesse: [well that makes sense because it's Amelia she's probably bought her a christmas gift yet again lol] Jac: [that was my vibe lol, god knows how my boo will be feelsy/rude with that] Jesse: [I was thinking she should get her another gay book that relates to their life like she did last year but like folded up inside is a portrait cos she hasn't done one of her since that one when they were like tweens] Jac: [you can find a list I bet, at least you don't know about the gay baby there isn't, that would be too close to the nose] Jesse: [blatantly like a chanel lipstick because we got the lip balm a year before, a theme so yeah leave that for the bae like you did last year] Jac: [a vibey vibe tbh, soz you do not know what you're coming into] Jac: [but yes, this is gonna be a bonding moment for you two, because it'll stop being like let's talk about it and you'll just have to do it, at least 2 days of the worst, you'll have to distract and comfort anywhich ways you can think of, probably lots of old movies and eating comforting junk, I'm just deciding if we tell JJ ourself or make Jesse rn hmm] Jesse: [I love that for you two even though it has to be in such horrible circumstances, I think he should do it because they'll blatantly still speak to her but at least she won't have to start the convo herself] Jac: [yeah, that makes sense as a moment 'cos we aren't stupid and this is gonna be suspish to all of us but at least then we can keep the other kids mainly Jude from being like HEWWO] Jesse: [yeah because Jude is the last thing we need rn no offense hen but he's literally not leaving her and even he isn't the music bit THAT much plus we said he had a show that he's just skipping which Jude would probably know so she'd be like ??! if not] Jac: [like, I'm down for mentioning that is a thing or having her come into the inbox but we don't need it to get to deathcon 5 levels, like we don't have the energy so she'd just be ignored and I won't make you self-RP] Jesse: [we know it's a thing and we know the vibe] Jac: [mhmm, like at the minute we've probably simply forgotten but we will circle back 'round when we're not quite so in traumatic shock] Jesse: [poor Jude just like why is everyone ignoring me, god bless] Jac: [lmao GIMME THAT ATTENTION, truly JJ I dunno how you tell someone to stop without giving up the info but you've gotta somehow] Jesse: [distract her somehow lads, it's nearly christmas there is shit you can do] Jac: [just going on a suspish amount of Christmas activities haha i live] Jesse: [I feel bad for you hen but like all will become clear one day] Jac: [sadly how it's gonna be]

[lovelylogans]

where you lead, i will follow

previous chapter /chapter five / next chapter

start from the beginning!

ao3 | read my other fics | coffee?

warnings: food mentions, complicated parental relationships, mentions of transphobia and homophobia, verbal fighting, top surgery mention, classism, 

pairings: moxiety, logince

words: 8,901

"is it healing? it doesn't look like it's healing."

"it's healing, mom, we've been icing it," patton says, trying not to squirm too much with the surroundings of the club. it's a half-day at chilton, because of teacher conferences, so they're doing make-up lunch instead of brunch, in addition to dinner tomorrow. "look, the bruising's already going all yellow and green."

"it'll be gone by my birthday," logan agrees, as all four sanders' follow the waiter to the table. with halloween approaching rapidly, it meant that in a little over a week, it would be november, and on the third, he would be sixteen. which meant he'd be able to take his driver's test, and that he could actually start seriously researching cars and debating if he wants to get one with roman. and on his birthday his dad would wake him up at four in the morning and roman would enact their birthday tradition and they would have coffee cake for breakfast at virgil's with roman, and roman would get him his traditional gift and patton would get him something that's somehow both goofy and sentimental and virgil will get him unexpected yet useful, and virgil would make him his birthday cake at the party that night, which would be full of the people he loves tolerates most in sideshire.

logan likes his birthday.

"well, it had better," emily huffs, sitting in the chair his grandfather pulls out for her. "i have no idea what got into dee slange, he's usually such a shrewd boy."

logan and patton exchange a look. 

"and that girl," emily tsks.

"i did business with janlen grant for years," his grandfather provides. "hard to believe."

"yes, well," his dad says, before there can be any parallels drawn there, "they're all in trouble, logan's healing, and he's been staying late for the past few days to get every piece of advice he can squeeze out of the advisor, so—"

"i'm just asking her about it," logan says, "there's no physical contact—"

"—figure of speech, honey—it might be best to just... put it in the past."

"hmph," emily says. "well, i agree."

his dad blinks, startled. "you do?"

"would i have said it if i didn't?"

"well, i just—"

"it's not like logan is about to engage in fisticuffs again," emily says, offering a benevolent smile to logan, who wrinkles his nose on instinct.

"hardly," he sniffs. 

"there we go, then," emily says. "though if hanlin thinks it's forgotten—"

"agreed," patton says, and spares a moment to wonder when he stepped into the twilight zone. twice in one day.

"logan," his grandfather says, "did you see the article in the journal today about the progress of the value of stocks within the technology industry?"

logan perks up. "i did. what were your opinions, from the business perspective?"

and it's lunch. it's just lunch. no masked barbs, no out-and-out fights, no pointed commentary under anyone's breath. it's just lunch. talking about news articles, and some distant cousin of his patton's who’s had a baby, and the trip richard's taking to prague, leaving tomorrow before dinner.

emily even remembered patton's favorite dessert they used to get at the club, when his dad was his age, and ordered it as soon as she saw it on the menu.

logan and his dad wander out to the car (well, the valet pulls it up for them, technically) in a bit of a daze, and logan buckles his seatbelt.

"that was... nice," patton says disbelievingly.

for the first time logan can remember, that's not a lie or a forceful attempt at optimism. 

"yes," logan says, and frowns. "it was nice."

"pleasant, even," patton says. "i... huh. that's—that's..."

"atypical."

"yes! yes, that too, but i," patton says, and he frowns too. "i mean. it was nice."

"it's probably because i got physically assaulted," logan muses, and patton grimaces.

"i'd prefer for that not to be the only reason we can get together and have a pleasant meal," he says.

"i'm sure we could do the same thing if someone died."

"i thought you were done with thinking everyone was dying!"

"i don't think that everyone is dying," logan says. "i think that someone relatively close to our family dying would be enough to spur on unusual behavior."

"...i mean, you're not wrong, but no one is dying, okay?" patton says. "at least, i don't think that's the reason we had a... a nice lunch."

"it was strange," logan agrees.

"right, it was," he says. 

"it'll be interesting to see if it holds for dinner tomorrow," logan says.

"it will," patton says, and, unspoken, i hope it does.

his relationship with his parents hasn't always been strained. not on the surface, anyway. especially when he was little—he'd actually really liked the frilly dresses, the dance lessons, the dolls. he'd been good at acting like a darling little—

but he wasn't. at the core of who he was, he was a he. he'd struggled with that, not having the words for it, and started acting out. that's when what had been below the surface had surfaced. and then he'd learned more about lgbtq things, he'd found the words that fit, and he'd stopped hiding.

that's when any other issue he and his parents lost its last hope of hiding, too.

"dad, the turn," logan prompts, and patton shakes himself.

"right, yeah," he says, and gets over a lane to get on the highway.

"are you...?"

"just," patton says, and sighs. "thinking, i guess. the last time we got along so well, i was pretty little. it's been rocky since i hit puberty, even before i came out."

logan nods, and repeats, "it'll be interesting to see if it holds."

he had a feeling it wouldn't. but patton hopes—patton hopes—

he tells virgil, later, when they swing by for dinner that night. 

virgil and logan exchange a look.

"we did get along, once," patton says.

"i'm sure you did," virgil says. "it's just—i don't want you to get your hopes up and then get crushed if it doesn't keep going like this, pat."

"i won't," patton says. virgil sighs. "i won't," patton insists.

"okay, okay," he says, then, "don't think i didn't notice you sneaking a refill, joke's on you, that's all decaf."

patton jokingly shakes a fist at him, and logan rolls his eyes, because did they have to flirt in front of him?

later, when patton's off chatting to some of the other citizens of sideshire, virgil slides into his vacated seat.

"it seriously went... okay?"

"it seriously went okay," logan confirms, making a note on the courant. "no insults or fighting or anything. it was a fluke."

"i've got a feeling you're right," virgil sighs. "just... keep me updated if i need to stock extra of anything, yeah?"

"yeah," logan says, and tries for a sneaky glance at him. "like cake."

"i suppose," virgil says, attempting to be blasé, but an upward twitch of his lip gives him away. "any reason you're thinking of cake?"

"don't try to be cute, you know that only works with dad," logan commands. "you know what dad got me, didn't you? and you always do your shopping early."

"not a chance, kid," virgil says with a snort, standing and stacking their empty plates to haul away. 

"just one hint," logan wheedles.

"the last time i did that, you managed to figure out what me, your dad, and rudy got you," virgil says. "i didn't even know what rudy got you. no way."

"it can be a little one!"

"it was a little one, last time," virgil says, rolling his eyes, "be good or sandy claws won't give you presents."

"i haven't believed in santa since i was five," logan says, and virgil snorts again, heading for the kitchen. yeah, he remembers the way that hypothesis worked out—logan had laid a trap for the intruder, and emerged triumphantly from his hiding place to find patton tangled up in rope.

"plus it's not even november yet!" logan shouts after him. 

"i was referencing a nightmare before christmas!" virgil shouts back, and disappears into the kitchen.

"why was he referencing a nightmare before christmas?" patton says, sliding back into his seat. "other than halloween, i mean."

halloween's virgil's favorite holiday. it's literally the only holiday he'll ever decorate the diner for—there's pumpkins strewn in random corners, skeletons galore, every single possible scary thing present. except, of course, the conspicuously absent spiders because of one diner regular, in particular.

"where are you hiding my presents?" logan says.

"ahh," patton says, grinning, and pretends to zip his lips shut.

logan's a terrible snoop around this time of year. well, he's a snoop generally, but he tends to limit that to journalism. but now he wants to figure out what people have gotten him, and will break into locked rooms if necessary (see: sixth, eighth, eleventh, and fourteenth birthdays.)

"they're not in the house, i've checked," he says. 

"i'm not saying a word," patton says.

"not at the inn, either."

patton takes a large gulp of water.

"did you hide them out at virgil's? are they right on top of us!?"

patton plugs his ears and hums loudly to tune him out, in case he somehow gives something away. (see: fourth, ninth, and thirteenth birthdays.)

valiantly, patton prevails, and he manages to avoid giving away anything about logan's birthday presents. logan tries to pretend he isn't pouting the whole way home. 

"i'm going to find out, you know," logan says.

"i'm sure you will," patton says placidly.

"i will!"

"i'm just saying, i have a really good plan this year."

logan groans, and stomps up the stairs, and patton smothers his smile and thanks whoever it is up there that he's got a teenager whose idea of a fight is trying to figure out where patton's hidden his birthday presents.

and besides. it is a really good plan this year. 

there's a part of it that's still up in the air, though.

patton brings it up, tentatively, after dinner with emily—just him, logan, and his mom, his dad off in prague for business. logan is glued to his side, though, and sulking about it.

("you are not snooping through your grandparents' house to find your present!"

"i already know what grandpa's getting me, it's just a question of grandma and i already have a few theories that i think could be easily corroborated if—"

"nope, nope, no, young man, you're staying right by my side."

"da-ad.")

"so, um, mom," patton says, "you know it's a special day next friday."

"i know that," she says.

"would it be possible to push dinner to saturday?"

"what are you going to do on friday?"

"well, we were going to have a party in sideshire—"

"oh, we can have a little party here," emily says, stern, and patton sighs, because he knows when he's beat.

"can i bring a friend?" logan pipes up. "from sideshire."

"is it that romeo boy?" she asks, and patton barely manages to stifle his snort against his hand. logan spares him a wounded look.

"roman, grandma."

"all right, all right—"

"and, um," patton says, "when it comes to cake, virgil usually—"

"we'll have a caterer handle it," she says briskly. "give me a hug, logan, it's time you two got on the road, it's getting late."

in the car, patton turns to him. "two parties this year?"

"i suppose," logan says.

patton considers, then grins a little deviously as he starts the car.

"it gives you an extra day to figure out what my present is."

"dad."

(later in the week, patton's mom calls him to help with shopping for a present for logan, and they also get along then. patton's so weirded out right now, you have no idea.)

⁂

"happy birthday, honey."

logan groans and rolls to the side, even as he's trying not to smile. he's sixteen. sixteen. that's old.

"hey," logan mumbles.

"i can't believe how fast you're growing up," patton says, settling on logan's bed and carding his fingers through logan's hair. logan squints up at him. he knows for a fact that it's 4:03 in the morning right now.

"feels slow."

"trust me, it's fast," patton says with a laugh. "how's your life so far?"

"hmph. fairly passable."

"only passable, huh?"

"i'd like to get some more sleep, on the whole," logan grumbles, and patton laughs.

"nuh-uh, buster. for all that you are a great, smart, wonderful kid, and the best friend a dad can have, at this exact time, many moons ago—"

"here we go," logan mumbles, and reaches for his glasses.

"—i had been in labor for fourteen. hours. fourteen! and while having you of course was one of the most meaningful experiences of my life, at that point, i was begging the doctors to just induce me and make it a c-section at this point, and i was swearing—"

"like a sailor on leave," they say in unison, and patton snaps his fingers. "right! and i was surrounded by a hundred prominent doctors, and i was just screaming—"

"eight, dad," logan mumbles very quietly, and patton smiles, cards his fingers through his hair again.

"sixteen, kiddo. so there i was, lying there, and..."

 "you shouldn't have to go to school today," patton declares as they're walking to the diner for breakfast, and logan looks horrified, as if patton had suggested that a fun birthday celebration would include going swimming in piraña-infested waters.

"you want me to skip?!" logan says, and patton wonders how he had a kid who dreaded missing school. 

"just if you want," patton begins, but there's the thud of footsteps behind them, someone running, and logan barely manages to say "oh no" before he's tackled to the ground. patton, used to this yearly tradition, has stepped out of the way and is trying not to laugh.

"IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY!" roman shouts in his ear. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

"must you attack me every year," logan says.

it started back when they were in kindergarten, when it was logan's birthday and roman got so excited about the birthday cupcakes that virgil baked and patton brought to class that he hugged logan hard enough that logan fell over and skinned his knee. and to make him feel better, roman did what his mom did to make him feel better (which patton did too, when logan was little), which turned into—

"¿qué tan viejo estás?" roman sings loudly into logan's ear to the tune of happy birthday, logan lying still in the grass, having accepted his fate. "¿qué tan viejo estás? ¿qué tan viejo, qué tan viejo, qué tan viejo estás?"

"sixteen," logan responds, cheeks going pink.

"dieciséis!" roman shouts. "entonces tienes dieciséis besos de cumpleaños!"

—which turned into the yearly birthday kisses. one kiss for each year.

(which was so cute when they were little that patton actually cried, and as they've grown older he's watched each of them get shyer and shyer about it, which was still so cute, and no, patton does NOT know how they aren't dating yet!!!)

roman smacks three noisy kisses—one on his left cheek, one on his forehead, and one on his right cheek—counting each in spanish, before scrambling off of him, cheeks equally pink, and hauling logan to his feet.

"thirteen more," roman informs him. "i might skip school just to catch the bus up to chilton to make sure i'm spacing them out properly."

"you won't be able to sneak in."

"that sounds like a challenge," roman informs him, taking his hand and swinging it between them for a few steps before dropping it as they approach virgil's diner. 

there's a table set up. with balloons. they match logan's favorite tie—indigo and purple and black and white. the pink in logan's cheeks has not faded.

"virge, he's here!" jean hollers into the kitchen, and virgil emerges, hair disheveled (more than usual) and toting a tray. 

"happy birthday, kid," virgil says. "i thought i told you to stop growing."

"he'll get right on that," patton jokes, tousles logan's hair a little, and logan sits down at the table, trying to fight little smile that's on his face.

"we'll weigh him down or something," virgil says, and sets down the tray, setting out the coffee cake with a candle stuck in the top, mugs of hot cocoa/coffee, before slipping into the fourth seat. "is there a reverse to that whole a pinch to grow an inch thing? i could use that."

"that's a myth," logan says, as virgil gets out a lighter to light the candle on the cake.

"yeah, you're gonna have to make a wish, too," roman says, nudging the cake closer to him. "and don't tell us what it is or it won't work!"

"it won't work regardless, but fine. as long as you don't sing again," logan says.

"we're saving that for saturday," patton says, squeezing his shoulder. "go on, kiddo."

logan sighs, and pretends as if he is very dismissive of the whole thing, even if he does make a wish.

(what? it's not like anyone knows he does it.)

the other three clap and cheer when he blows out the candle in one go, and virgil begins slicing up the coffee cake, even as he and roman start squabbling over who gets what slice and logan—

well. it's a pretty good start to his birthday.

(the additional birthday kiss roman gives him between bites of coffee cake and sips of hot cocoa/coffee are pretty nice too.)

(shut up.)

virgil sends him to school with a packed lunch of his favorites, and patton sends him off with a ruffle of his hair, and roman sends him off with another birthday kiss, and logan can't help but smile a little the whole bus ride to chilton.

it drops off his face when some sidles up to his locker with a sly little smirk.

"happy birthday."

logan scowls at dee, who opens up an envelope.

"at 4:03 in the morning, logan thomas sanders was born to—"

"what's that?" logan says, narrowing his eyes and snatching it away, scanning it, and—

oh. oh, no.

"see you tonight," dee simpers, snatching the envelope back, and logan grinds his teeth as dee flits away.

he texts roman during class when he can sneak his phone—the first time he's done so since he's gotten a phone.

logan: You are likely going to meet my nemesis tonight at my birthday dinner. 

roman responds basically immediately, because he has no such qualms about sneaking out his phone during class.

roman: o shit fr?

logan: Apparently, my grandmother has invited him. Potentially some of my other classmates.

roman: so i gotta like... kill him. fight for ur honor. go full dueling rules. we draw pistols at sundown roman: actually your gparents seem like the type of people to keep decorative swords roman: bc like. i could use those. i could def use those roman: pls let me use the swords

logan:  I can understand the temptation, but I would have to insist you didn't  

roman: you're no fun

logan: You're realizing this just now?

he tucks his phone into his pocket before he can read what roman responds with, and it takes him until he's waiting for the bus at the end of the day to glance at his screen again.

roman: hey now mr. birthday boy roman: i'm the only one who can talk bad about you it's part of my best friend privileges roman: mock yourself again and i break into your grandparents house to use their fancy schmancy swords on you

almost before he can think better of it, his thumbs are flying and he hits send before he can second-guess himself.

logan: Telling me you'll stab me sounds remarkably like you're trying to get out of birthday kisses

equally fast (equally unthought) the response comes

roman: i'll kiss u in a minute

logan: Is that meant to sound like a threat? logan: Or is it a promise?

roman: wouldnt u like to kno

logan wouldn't say he glues his face to the window to see if a certain someone is waiting at the bus stop (but your author would, so.)

and he is!

...with a guest. logan tries not to scowl too obviously as he descends the bus.

"hey!" roman says happily, from where he's holding jess' hand. but he has what looks like lucy's for him in the other, so logan supposes it's all right.

"hey," logan echoes.

"hear it's your birthday," jess grunts.

"it is," logan says cautiously. 

"yeah, well. happy birthday."

"...thank you."

"um, so, your dad's picking me up at 5:30, right?" roman says.

"yes," logan says. "wear a tie."

roman pulls a face. jess looks between them.

"my grandparents are throwing a party," logan says, by way of explanation.

"yeah, i wanna steal all their decorative swords," roman teases, grinning. "you've given me a goal for the evening."

"i suppose i'll have to spend the evening with you, to ensure you don't purloin any of my grandparents' possessions."

"guess you will," roman says cheerfully. "however, i'm gonna have to say a sword would so make up for whatever happens at your grandparents'."

logan tilts his head, conceding the point. jess clears his throat loudly. 

"so, uh, roman, we should—"

"right! right," roman says, and bounces over to logan and hesitates. but then there's a rebellious gleam in his eyes. he rocks up onto his tiptoes just slightly, to press a lingering kiss against his cheek.

"seis," he whispers into logan's ear, warm breath making logan shiver in the november chill. roman pulls away and presses the shake into logan's hand. "happy birthday, logan."

jess' face has turned suddenly stormy. logan's responding smile feels rather sunny.

"see you at 5:30," logan says, and roman tugs jess along, to do whatever it is that they'll do.

logan brushes his fingers against his cheek with his free hand, and then he opens up the top of his shake, ready to eat his whipped cream as he walks home.

there's no cherry. roman must have stolen before he'd gotten there. logan spares a moment to wonder if he'd be able to taste it, if roman had directed his kiss just a few inches to the left—

logan clears his throat and hurries his way home.

his phone pings, then, with a notification from his other father, reading Happy birthday!

(logan doesn’t answer. logan never really answers. he’s sick of his other father swinging in and out of logan’s life when he feels like it, and he’s sick of the way his other father treats patton, like everything’s the same as it was when they were sixteen, and he’s sick of the way that his other father bolts and leaves his dad upset, and he’s just. he’s sick of it. so he doesn’t answer.)

he distracts himself by doing homework—his dad said he'd swing by the studio to pick up roman on his way back from the inn—so he loses himself in making a decent dent in his latin homework and reviewing some of the math material from today when he hears clattering on the stairs.

"shoot," he mutters under his breath, carefully marking his page. "i know, i know, i should get ready, i'm nearly—"

his voice dies in his throat.

it's not like he's never seen roman dressed up before, but for some reason, it's different, because he's wearing logan's colors. he's wearing indigo most prominently, his shirt, and black, his coat, and a lighter blue, his tie. he almost does a double take. logan's so used to him in his signature reds and whites and golds, he barely even knew that roman had cool colors in his wardrobe outside of dance costumes. it shouldn't be different but it is and—

("do you think he'll like it?" roman had asked patton shyly in the car.

"he'll love it," patton had said gently, not mentioning how roman has a boyfriend, or how his son would love anything roman wore or did, because he was roman.)

"you look," logan says, and swallows. he’s half-risen from his chair. when did he do that? and there's an odd jolt in his stomach. he's probably coming down with something. "good. you look good."

roman smiles, flits over to him, and rises to kiss logan on the cheek again, a fond little greeting he punctuates with a cheery "siete," and says, "thanks, logan."

"i should get ready," logan says, looking down at his chilton uniform.

"i wanna pick what you wear," roman says immediately. 

logan heaves a sigh, but sits on his bed, with a sort of go on then gesture, and roman squeals happily and starts digging through logan's ties and dress shirts.

logan's half-expecting roman to pick something in white and red and gold for him, but no—roman pulls out one of his favorite black shirts and his favorite tie, complete with black waistcoat and jacket.

"classic logan," he decides, and hands over his choices. logan begins to change.

(it's not like they haven't done this, either—changed in front of each other. years of sleepovers and swimming outings and logan recruited to backstage crew and helping roman through quick changes. but now, roman feels the urge to turn his back—like it's suddenly become intimate now. which is ridiculous. he has a boyfriend. this thing with logan is—)

"satisfactory?" logan says, as he fastens the final button of his shirt and drapes his tie over his neck, under his collar.

"hang on, i wanna try doing a fancy knot," roman says, stepping forward, and logan drops his hands and tilts his chin up. he can look down enough to see roman biting his lip in concentration, though.

"look at you, you dapper young gentlemen!" patton says, when roman's tightening the knot and buttoning his waistcoat and smoothing his hands over logan's shoulders, smoothing away imaginary lint. (roman tries to tell himself it's not an excuse to touch him.)

logan turns to investigate himself in the mirror. roman has put a fancy, different knot in his tie, something other than his usual windsor. he brushes his fingers against where the tie's wound over and over itself.

"what's this knot called?" logan says.

"something i know and you don't, we should celebrate this as a new holiday," roman teases. "it's an eldredge."

he tilts his head. it seems fitting for a special occasion. he tells roman so.

"aw, thanks, sheriff of knottingham," roman teases, kisses logan on the cheek with an "ocho." before spinning back to see patton, hovering in the doorway, fingers pressed against his smiling lips.

"should we get going?" logan asks, clearing his throat. 

"right, right, your grandma will kill me if we're late!" patton says. "but i figured, since it's technically your birthday, i could give you this early." 

he brings something out from behind his back, shuffling a little to hold something else there, but logan's eyes have focused in on the present, wrapped in space-themed wrapping paper.

"thank you," he says in a rush, lest he get lectured on manners, and now he gets to find one out and—

he tears it open with a ferocious kind of glee, and falters.

"do you like it?" patton asks.

"it's a puzzle, you know i like puzzles," logan retorts.

it's true. he does like puzzles. but this does not fit the previous pattern of particularly sentimental gifts from patton established over the past fifteen years he's received presents on his birthday. it's a space puzzle, yes. it's something he enjoys, yes.

sentimental? not particularly.

"you'll have to solve it later," patton tells him.

"right, right, right," logan says. "we need to get going."

"right," patton says. then he bites his lip and lifts his camera from behind his back.

"no," logan groans, at the same time roman is putting on his most picturesque grin and tugging logan closer by the waist.

"i'll be quick about it!" patton defends, but logan has definitely heard that excuse before and it is a lie. oh god. especially if roman is in the pictures. roman loves having photos taken of himself, he's an absolute perfectionist about them so he takes approximately one million photos of himself (no he is NOT exaggerating) and then narrows down from there. how can logan possibly be in—

logan pastes on a smile rather than finish that thought.

⁂

hard cut to patton biting his lip as they pull up to the mansion.

"i told you we should have gotten going," logan tsks.

"we'll be forgiven once i mention pictures," patton says, unbuckling his seatbelt. "okay, um, roman, turn up the charming to eleven, i'm sure she'll love you because you're logan's friend. you're a natural at this. also please keep logan entertained. logan, i know these parties aren't your favorite—"

"ugh."

"—but behave, we're having the sideshire extravaganza tomorrow."

"dad, i should warn you," logan says, as they get out of the car, "i think dee slange will be here."

patton stiffens. "that dee slange?"

"it's not a common name, dad."

"she invited," patton began heatedly, before he huffs, shaking his head and muttering to himself, "i will not fight with a teenager at my son's birthday party, i will not fight with a teenager at my son's birthday party—"

"i could," roman suggests.

"no," logan and patton both chorus, and logan steps forward to knock at the door.

the door swings open almost immediately, like she was peeking through the window. she's beaming.

"there he is, the birthday boy," she declares.

"hi, grandma," logan says, as they step inside. "this is roman prince, he's my—my friend."

emily's eyes sharpen in a way that patton is familiar with at that particular stumble, but roman sweeps forward before she can say anything, taking her proffered hand and bowing to kiss the back of it.

"ma'am," roman says, having taken patton's advice. "it is an honor to meet you. thank you for being gracious enough to invite me to your beautiful home."

emily looks immediately mollified. "well, it's nice to meet you, too. i should have known a friend of logan's would have proper etiquette."

etiquette, roman mouths at logan as soon as her back is turned. logan pulls a face.

"wow, mom, you really went all out," patton says, attempting to shuffle out of the way of a pair of caterers toting trays as some servants straightened up the room. 

"well, i wanted everything to be perfect," she says. "what do you think?"

"it looks great," patton says. he wants to keep the peace, he wants it so badly, and—

"grandma, i think i might give roman a bit of a tour, is that all right?" logan says. 

"we'll call you down as soon as the first guests get here," patton says, and roman grins, bowing and gesturing the way ahead for logan.

"after you," he says, in a deep voice.

(as soon as they have rounded a corner, logan shoves him a little, which turns into a jostling session, which nearly turns into a hand slapping fight but they're spotted by a pair of decorators just in time to realize where they are.)

they do get called down, right as roman is attempting to bribe logan with even more birthday kisses to convince him to pull off a heist so he can steal a sword. logan is grateful, because his cheeks were so warm it was likely indicative of an incoming fever or something. not for any other reason.

"okay," patton says, juggling glasses as they descend the steps. "shirley temple with extra cherries for roman, a sprite for logan, and—"

"what are you drinking?" roman asks. patton looks momentarily guilty, before tipping his glass towards them so they can smell it. they both pull identical faces at the strength of it.

"sazerac," he says, so no one can hear. it's the strongest cocktail he knows of that can masquerade as just a fancy drink. "i might need you to drive."

"got it," logan says. 

"i'd recommend sticking to the foods you can recognize that don't smell funny," he says, in the same undertone. "um, roman, logan's grandparents will probably drag him away, so—"

"i'll stick with one of you, got it," roman says. "how often do you think i should slip into spanish to make the old white people uncomfortable?"

patton looks severely tempted by this offer.

"logan!" emily says, interrupting the conversation before they could settle on a specific code word or gesture. "there you are. come, there's some people i want you to meet."

logan gives roman a help look as he's tugged away. behind roman and patton, a voice says, "patton?"

"yeah?" he says absently, turning, and then— "oh my god! oh, mitzie! wow, i haven't seen you since—"

"your seventh month!"

"jesus christ," roman says, mouth hanging slightly open.

"i was going to say high school, but okay," patton says, shooting roman a patton-ted dad look.

"oh, no, did i say something rude?" she asks, distressed.

"no, no—"

"no, i did, i said something rude," she frets. "i've been trying to work on that."

"well, we've all got things to work on," patton tries.

"ever since my divorce, that's been my line of thinking," mitzie says, nodding rapturously. "you know, i just—i just want to grow."

"yep."

"wow. patton sanders, the scandal g—um, person!"

roman's eyes narrow dangerously.

"now, tell me," she continues, "whatever happened with christopher?"

"oh," patton says. "well, he's out in california, and—"

"oh, god, i'm so sorry, is this painful for you to talk about?!"

"um, well—"

"when did he last call you?!"

"god, you're making progress with that rude thing," roman says, and mitzie blinks.

"do i know you?"

"this is roman prince, he's a good friend of logan's," patton says, happy to change the subject.

mitzie blinks. "who?"

"logan? my kid!" he says proudly, and turns to point at where logan is surrounded by a gaggle of old women.

"oh, wow!" she says. "you can really see the christopher in him, can't you?"

"he's like a carbon copy of patton," roman says, frowning. patton takes a healthy gulp of his sazerac.

"you know what, mitz, it's been great to see you," patton says, "but i see someone i wanted to introduce roman to, if you'll excuse me."

they make a retreat.

"are they all like that?" roman says.

"oh, no," patton says. "not all the time, it's usually—"

roman's staring at him, like, uh-huh, suuuure. patton fidgets, and says in a lowered voice, "this is the first big party i've gone to other than the yearly thanksgiving and christmas parties since logan was born."

"oh," roman says, and that absurdly strong cocktail is starting to make sense now. 

"yeah," patton says. "so i'm just a little... nervous. that's all."

logan has managed to circle back, holding a tiny pile of envelopes and looking confused. 

"i'll take those," patton says, scooping the pile out of his hands and tucking them into an inside pocket of his jacket. "how are things going so far?"

"i think one of grandma's friends just asked me if i wanted to go for a round of golf, even after i told her i don't play."

patton grins. "big beehive hairdo?"

"yes."

"that's gloria," patton says, and imitates his father's tone in a whisper. "the most odious woman alive. i would have thought that they'd squirmed out of feeling obligated to invite her to most things, by now. god knows mom came up with thirty different schemes when i was in school."

the evening passes like that—patton or roman holding down a corner as logan's trotted around and shown off to various guests. patton's cheeks get pinker and pinker and he gets gigglier throughout the night. roman listens raptly to patton's decade-old gossip, or tries his best to make the old women giggle and blush and pinch his cheeks, or does his best, most daring getaways to sneak off as many birthday kisses in private to logan as he possibly can. 

well, it passes like that mostly until logan retreats to their corner and frowns to see patton alone.

"where'd roman go?"

"i think he went to brave the catering," patton says, and presses the back of his hand to his cheek, feeling how cool it is compared to his face. "is it warm in here to you?"

"you're intoxicated," logan says, "and i am not, so no."

"oh, that's what it is," patton says musingly. 

(patton's not much of a drinker—he's got a kid at home, after all. he has the occasional glass of wine at a meal, if it's sweet enough, and he doesn't like beer. cocktails on occasion, and almost never more than one. he left most of his drinking days back in his wild teenage years, though virgil did take him out for his twenty-first birthday... but that's a whole other story.)

"i think i might check the catering too," logan says. "see if there's anything other than cheese, crackers, and grapes that are, you know. edible."

"godspeed," patton says, and tilts his cup at logan in a toast. 

"you're all right here?"

"i'm fine," patton says fondly. "i'll hold down the chairs, and all your presents, go on."

logan nods, says, "drink some water," and turns on his heel to hunt after roman.

he's waylaid by his grandfather and a group of dour businessmen, who present him with near-identical envelopes that he thanks them for by rote and tucks into his coat's pockets before he chances upon the library, glancing in, and—

logan's striding forward before he can think of it, and dee turns, smiling at logan smarmily.

"roman," logan says.

"hey!" roman says. "i was just talking to someone from your new school, um—"

"dee," logan says. "dee slange."

the smile drops off roman's face. he takes a brief step back. "oh."

"now, now," dee says to roman. "we were getting along so well, weren't we? i see you haven't heard the best things about me. logan, tsk tsk. wasn't this invite a gesture toward letting bygones be bygones?"

"you know full well i didn't invite you," logan snaps.

dee spreads his gloved hands. "and yet here i am."

"yes," logan says distastefully. "you've made your appearance, now go."

dee smirks, tweaking his bowtie. "perhaps i will."

"you should."

"and perhaps you shouldn't tell roman what opinions he should have, he's a big boy who can think on his own," dee says. "or do you not think so?"

"get out."

dee laughs mockingly, even as he leaves the library.

"ugh, what a creep," roman huffs. "i can't believe i thought he was nice."

"he's good at getting into people's good graces," logan says. "good at telling people the exact things they do or don't want to hear, depending on which will further his own interests."

"he wasn't dressed quite as much like a disney villain today," roman says. "i thought patton said he looked like a disney villain."

"he usually pairs a cape with the bowler hat and gloves," logan says dryly.

"oh, okay. now i can see it."

logan realizes that they're now alone in the library, with no fear of interruptions, for the first time since they've been called down to greet the guests. logan wants to reach out and touch roman's shoulder, amongst other things, but instead he sighs and clenches his hands in fists behind his back. he has a boyfriend, he reminds himself, he has a boyfriend, he kisses you because it's tradition and he has a boyfriend now.

“how is everything going? with jess,” leaps out of logan’s mouth before he can really even stop it, and roman looks startled.

“i—oh. i mean it’s.... going,” he says, and then, hastily, “going well!”

“oh?”

“he’s been,” roman says, and glances around, then back up at logan to look him in the eyes,. “i know the way the first date ended didn’t give the best first impression, but he’s been a perfect gentleman. i really... it really is going well.”

logan isn’t sure if he’s pleased that his best friend’s relationship is going well—he isn’t lying, logan can tell by the look in his eye, he can tell that roman really likes him—or, well...

“good,” logan says. “i hope i wasn’t interrupting anything, earlier today. when you met me at the bus stop.”

“oh, no,” roman says. “no, no. we’d just facetimed a friend of his, from back home. we’d just finished when i realized the time and i figured it would be nice to meet you.”

“a friend of his?” logan repeats.

“yeah,” roman says, and smiles up at him. “he reminds me of you, kinda. well, him and jess remind me of me and you. they’ve been best friends since they were in kindergarten, too.”

logan feels the corner of his lip quirk up, bitter, without his meaning to. he reminds me of you. jess and his decidedly platonic friend, who he introduced to his brand-new boyfriend.

“i’d like you to get to know him better,” roman says. “i know that your schedules are kind of exactly the opposite, but—“

“no, of course,” logan says. “of course. if it’ll make you happy.”

and he means that. really. if jess will make roman happy...

then it means that roman will be happy. and that’s what’s important to logan.

roman smiles at him, and there’s something in his eyes that makes logan want to tilt his head, get in closer, investigate, but roman turns his head to glance around the library.

“gotta say,” he says, voice light, “i’d think a few more swords would make me a bit happier. bet we can steal up the stairs right now and make our daring escape from the latest gathering of the walking dread.”

when he turns his head back, his eyes are glittering with mischief, with a joke. the prior thing must have been a fluke. an effect of the lighting. he supposes.

"i know this party can't be very fun for you," logan says. roman shrugs.

"it's not so bad," he says. "your dad's getting tipsy, and that's kinda funny. plus he apparently has a really good memory for super old gossip, i've been hearing all kinds of stories."

"speaking of stories?" logan hedges, and roman grins.

"ah, you've been unusually quiet about it this year."

"just one hint," logan bursts out.

(this is a tradition too—roman is not free from logan's curiosity. roman traditionally writes him a story for his birthday. for example, last year's featured logan gallivanting through old-timey london with hercule poirot. every year the setting is different. every year it seems to get bigger and better.)

"nope," roman says, grinning. "it'd give everything away—"

his eyes widen, and logan looks triumphant.

"you've linked presents!"

"i didn't say that!"

"no, you said it'd give everything away," logan says, eyes gleaming like they always do when he gets a hint of a mystery, the bittersweet news of roman’s relationship with jess almost forgotten. (almost.) 

"which means you'd give someone else's present away. whose is it? virgil's? dad's? both?"

"oh, my god, just take me somewhere i can find decent food in this house," roman grumbles, leading the way out of the library.

"but you probably collaborated with them," logan continues, even as he's practically skipping with the reveal of a clue, a clue, a clue!!!

(roman's smiling. it's probably because it's just funny to see logan act undignified. not because of the pleased gleam in his eyes or the way he smiles at roman or the way he turns gleeful about a mystery or anything.)

(shut up.)

"which means that there's likely a common theme or thread to the presents. patton got me a puzzle, which means i could attempt to deduce your story idea with that clue and work from there—"

"logan, there you are!"

logan nearly groans and roman barely manages to stifle a laugh.

"i think it's time you said a few words to your guests."

logan turns from gleeful to slightly panicked so fast it makes roman a little dizzy.

"what?"

"just a little speech to say thank you and tell everyone how it feels to be one year older," emily says.

logan clears his throat. "i'm not one for particularly grand gestures."

"no, but i am," comes out of roman's mouth. "would it be all right if i did a toast instead, mrs. sanders? it's a bit of a tradition back at sideshire for—well, for someone else to toast someone on their birthday."

particularly, it's tradition for patton to toast logan on his birthday, but, you know. partial truths are still true. right?

"logan can thank everyone as they're leaving," roman says, warming to the idea, and logan looks a touch relieved—that's a social script he has memorized, not something sprung on him willy-nilly.

"well—"

"great!" roman chirps over her, grabs his mostly abandoned shirley temple from patton, and an abandoned spoon before she can say anything else. he gently clangs the spoon against it with a subtle ting-ting-ting that has the room quieting obediently.

roman clears his throat, and puts on his most dazzling smile. 

"hello!" he says, jovial. "i'm afraid i haven't met most of you yet, so i may as well introduce myself. i'm roman prince. my best friend is someone who happens to be turning sixteen today—just there," he says, pointing unnecessarily. logan's reclaimed his sprite, staring at roman, like the rest of the room is.

does roman love performing? yes, of course, he's a prince, it's in his blood. does he still get a little nervous? yes, of course, he's a human person, it's in his blood.

does it all fall away, when he focuses on how logan's staring at him intently? well. yes, of course. he's roman prince. it's in his blood. how he feels about logan is as unchangeable as his blood.

"so, it's actually a bit of a tradition, where we're from, for someone to toast someone on their birthday," roman says. "usually, it's his dad, but today, logan's letting me take over, which i assure you is not a sentence i can say often."

a soft chuckle.

"but, um. i met logan when i was five, but a lot of my life i can't remember before he was in it," roman says. "i think a lot of it wouldn't be worth remembering, anyway, without my partner in crime, the sherlock to my john watson, the spock to my kirk, the hercule poirot to my arthur hastings. i'm really not sure who i'd be without him. i don't think i ever want to find out."

silence, now. complete and utter silence. logan's still just... staring at him. roman takes a breath in.

"logan. you're smart, you're ambitious, you're witty and clever and funny, you're stubborn as hell. you're passionate and thoughtful and intense about the things you care about. it's been an honor to be one of them. it's been an honor to grow up with you. the first sixteen years of you have been so good, i cannot wait to see how the rest of them turn out. to logan."

he lifts up his glass, and the other party-goers chorus "to logan!" and there's the clinking of glasses as people cheers and drink and roman takes a cursory sip before he steps back toward the corner, where patton had gotten out his phone to record and is pressing his fingers against his lips again, smiling huge, and logan is still staring.

"happy birthday," roman tells him. 

logan's staring.

"sorry if you really wanted to make a speech, i know you sometimes like that kind of thing and i kind of took over fast."

staring.

"...hello? earth to logan?"

very suddenly, logan's arms are around him, and just like that, logan is hugging him. 

logan is not a hugger. he tolerates hugs for the people around him—see roman's birthday tradition of tackling him every year, or even birthday kisses. roman initiates, logan tolerates. it's the way he is. in moments of weakness, he maybe leans into it. but roman cannot remember a single time that logan has initiated a hug. 

roman can't help but close his eyes, though, and squeeze him closer, because—because logan's hugging him.

"i really mean it," roman whispers into his ear.

"i know," logan says.

"but if you tell anyone i meant it, i'll blackmail you with the fact that you hugged me. of your own free will."

"i know," logan says again, except this time there's a laugh in his voice, and he pulls away. 

his lips aren't laughing. neither are his eyes. they're staring at roman, like—like he's the clue that logan wants to solve. like he's the mystery that logan wants to dissemble and lay bare and analyze breathlessly, making sure every single little detail is correct before writing an article about it, and—

"well done," emily says from behind him, delighted, and roman forces himself to turn away from logan, from that look in his eyes.

"thank you," roman says.

"are you an orator?"

"roman's the star of sideshire," patton pipes up, and oh god, patton had seen all of that, hadn't he? and patton knew. "he's a dancer and a singer and an actor. triple threat."

"are you?" emily says.

"my mother's isadora prince," he says proudly, and oh, yeah, his mom's name still gets awe and attention. take that, people who thought she wouldn't be a star.

"is she," emily says. "goodness, i wondered, it's not exactly a common last name, and logan mentions the dance studio so often..."

there's an analytical look in her eyes as she stares at him. "have you considered pursuing it professionally? ballet, i mean."

"a lot," roman admits. "i'd want to go back and teach at the studio, too. even if i don't make principal dancer somewhere—"

"you will," logan says. "if you go out for it, you would."

roman smiles at him, just a little.

"i simply must introduce you to my friend at tisch," she muses, and roman nearly chokes on his tongue.

"the—the new york tisch?" roman asks. the widely-regarded-as-one-of-the-best-ballet-programs-in-the-country, tisch?? his-wildest-secret-dream-top-choice-for-college, tisch?!?!?!

"my dear, i'm sure you'll be remarkable," she says warmly. "but when you ascend to stardom, you just remember who discovered you."

roman's over the moon. he's over the stars, in fact. logan and patton exchange a slightly uneasy glance behind his back.

the party passes pretty smoothly from there. logan stands at the door and thanks each person for coming. he returns to find roman and patton and his grandparents in the living room, chit-chatting.

"is there anything we can do to help, mom?" patton asks her warmly.

"no, no, no," emily says. "the servants will take care of it."

"right, yeah," patton says.

"thank you again for inviting me," roman says. "and—and thank you again, for offering to talk to someone at tisch."

"talent like yours, my dear, should never be hidden," emily says. "i must see you dance sometime, and meet your mother."

"the sideshire dance studio loans out with the ballet here in the city for the nutcracker every december," roman says.

"then i have seen you before!" she says. "richard and i go every year."

"i'm the sugar plum cavalier this year," he says proudly, and her eyebrows shoot up.

"my, aren't you young for it?"

"like i said," logan says. "he's very, very good."

roman smiles bashfully at logan, who smiles back.

patton then says something suddenly that he will blame on the alcohol tomorrow. 

"mom, you and dad should come to logan's party in sideshire tomorrow."

she looks startled. even a little shocked. then—

"well, that would be... lovely."

"it'll, um," patton says, scrambling, because he just invited his parents to his house for the first time EVER. "it'll be different than this one, but it'll be fun, and—"

"logan is my grandson," she says. "we'll be there."

"right," patton says. "um, great. it's at seven."

"you boys should all get going," she says. she still looks slightly confused, but—pleased? "it's a long drive."

logan tolerates his hug, roman kisses her hand again, and patton says, "um, boys, why don't you warm up the car? i'll be right out."

they take the keys. then patton does something that shocks emily even more.

he leans forward to hug her—quick, bright, heartfelt.

"i'm really happy we're getting to know each other, mom."

"i already know you," emily says. "you aren't some huge mystery to me, you're my son."

it isn't the usual barb that might be, even if there is a slightly sharp undertone to it. but that's better than nothing. especially since she said my son—no hesitation, no sneer. matter-of-fact. my son.

"well," patton says, and draws back smiling. "everyone can get to know someone better, even someone they've known for years. learn something new every day, right?"

"i suppose," she says, then, "you aren't driving, are you?"

patton laughs sheepishly and rubs the back of his neck. "no, no, logan is."

"good."

"the cocktails are stronger than i remember."

"you ordered sazeracs."

"mom—"

"they have absinthe, patton, i really don't know what you could have expected other than an absurdly strong cocktail. are you always this libatious at parties, or is my party a special occasion?"

"okay, mom, gotta go, bye!"

#text #wyliwf #moxiety #logince #sanders sides #sanders sides fanfiction #my fic

[punkscowardschampions]

Jac & Jesse

Jac: [as you said he encouraged her to gatecrash, I figure it makes sense he'd check in on that after the posts, Amelia called JJ lol] Jesse: 👍? Jac: 🖕 Jesse: ☕? Jac: no I feel sick Jesse: [brings her a glass of water and tablets but like puts them on her bedside table and then leaves] Jac: you're just as bad Jesse: as bad as? Jac: her Jac: don't try be nice Jesse: 🖕 Jesse: Alright? Jac: 🙄 Jac: no that was so halfhearted Jesse: it weren't only you who had a late one Jac: then don't bother Jesse: nice try, dickhead Jac: ask mum and dad Jac: i'm not in a gossiping mood Jesse: the walls ain't that thick Jac: just your head Jac: gotcha Jesse: Must be a family thing you inherited as well as Jac: if I can blame all of you Jac: fine by me Jesse: crack on Jesse: I hope it makes you feel loads better Jac: your fake sympathy is only marginally better than your real but solid attempt Jesse: you didn't want tea, they go together Jac: hence I declined Jac: don't feel sorry for me, twat Jesse: I don't Jesse: Amelia on the other hand Jac: you can go commiserate with her then Jac: she needs some new gay friends Jesse: I don't fit the bill then and she don't wanna hear from me how shit her girlfriend is Jac: She's well aware, don't worry Jac: beat you to it Jesse: Yeah, the comments tell the story, like Jesse: and a 📷's worth loads of words Jac: it was meant to be blatant Jac: no 🍪 for working it out Jesse: just 🏆🥇 for you Jac: naturally Jac: why else would I go Jesse: 'Cause you miss her Jesse: you were mates and it was her birthday Jesse: Dunno, there's 2 💡s Jac: Ha Jac: you ask her how much love she's feeling now Jac: I wanted her to have a shit time and she did, mission accomplished Jesse: You're alright, tah, that's blatant an' all Jac: yeah, no need to act like you're that thick now you ain't in the dark Jesse: nah, the act's all yours Jesse: I'll leave it out Jac: yeah, I'm acting like a cunt, I'm a really, really nice person actually Jac: literally as bad as her Jesse: We're all wrong and you're right Jesse: 🏆🥇 Jac: no shit Jac: gotta suck Jesse: I'll live Jac: thrilled for you, Jess Jesse: 👍 Jesse: Good talk Jac: the fact you expected anything else is on you Jac: you go apologize to her, you'll feel better Jesse: It was her who fought your battles for you, nowt to do with me Jac: you told me to go Jesse: To make up with her, you twat Jac: and why did you think I'd ever do that? Jac: what kind of fucking fantasy land are you living in Jesse: I thought she might get through to you Jesse: that kinda fantasy land Jac: 😂 Jesse: it ain't much of a laugh but alright Jac: not to you Jesse: you ain't laughing either Jac: I can if you want Jac: rather I was crying but nah Jesse: Piss off, your vocal chords don't work any more Jac: So? Jac: that's got fuck all to do with missing Amelia, I'm so sorry Jesse: Never said it did Jac: you thought it did Jac: as fucking if Jesse: I thought she could help you, nowt else Jesse: giving her too much credit Jac: unlucky Jesse: 💔 Jac: I don't need any help Jac: and you should give the fuck up Jesse: I don't play 🎻 Jesse: you might as well shut up Jac: I already have, dipshit Jesse: Stop typing playground insults at me then Jac: Go away then Jac: you've achieved nothing, and you're not going to Jesse: You're a shit 👻 Jesse: next time throw something Jac: I've got what I needed from the situation Jesse: 👌 Jac: is Jude here or what Jesse: do you hear her? Jac: its the middle of the night Jac: morning Jesse: it's the afternoon near enough Jac: can I go to bed or not Jesse: she's at a mates Jac: thank god Jesse: might be back in a bit, like I said, it ain't as early as you think Jac: if I knock myself out she won't be able to speak to me Jesse: you won't be able to answer, she can still go on about whatever she likes Jac: I won't hear her, same difference Jesse: same as when you're awake, yeah Jac: no, unfortunately I can still hear her Jesse: Gutted Jac: no shit Jesse: Try 🎧 Jac: I don't like music Jesse: don't listen to any then Jesse: other media exists Jac: I don't like any of that either Jesse: 🙄 Jac: you'll survive Jesse: Nobody likes the news, stick it on to drown her out and get over it Jac: I have no interest in feeling better Jac: at least she's good for that Jesse: Bit rude Jac: it's a compliment Jac: she has fuck all else use Jesse: Bollocks is it Jesse: you've got less use, at least she walks the 🐕🐕🐕 Jac: I clearly don't care about being of any use to any of you Jac: it's all about what you can do for me, which is very little but make my crippling depression much worse Jesse: achieved that then ✔ Jac: hooray Jesse: 🥳 Jac: you missed it Jesse: had one I was actually invited to go to Jac: wow, that's so impressive Jac: would you like me to pretend I'm jealous? Jesse: pretend what you like Jac: so generous Jesse: pat on the back'll be in the post Jac: I got better by myself with her girlfriend, tah Jesse: I can't pretend there's owt impressive about that, soz Jesse: get your 🏆🥇 off her if you're bothered Jac: as if I did it for the brag Jesse: she will have done Jac: give a fuck what she does or doesn't Jesse: I got that Jac: so what's your fucking point Jesse: you either wanna talk or you don't Jesse: I give a fuck about Valentina Jesse: I know exactly what she's like Jac: yeah, I don't fucking fancy her, it's not me you need or needed to tell Jac: she's clearly a slag Jesse: I don't need to tell Amelia either Jesse: everyone knows she collects queers Jesse: she's been trying to be mates with me for years Jac: not now Jac: too late Jesse: Time was already running out for them, no need Jesse: been obvious from day 1 Jac: yeah and I'm a shit friend Jesse: she ain't mine Jac: she's not mine Jesse: not now Jac: not for ages Jac: if ever Jac: so you're just a cunt for no reason Jesse: how am I? Jac: you knew and you didn't say shit Jac: even though you've got no reason to fuck with her life Jac: so, you're a cunt Jesse: she knew and she'd have still called it bollocks if I said anything Jesse: it's her life Jac: yeah, sure Jesse: yeah, she had her reasons, must've done Jac: mhmm, tell yourself that Jesse: you're the only person she's ever properly listened to, but go on and tell yourself it's my fault Jac: I know what I did, tah Jesse: and the only head you're doing in with going on about it is yours Jac: you think I care? Jesse: you do, it ain't about what I think Jac: I really don't Jac: it's what she was owed, simple as Jesse: she had something you cared enough about to need to fuck with Jesse: if you didn't give a fuck you wouldn't bother about what she was or wasn't owed Jesse: nowt would matter like you keep telling yourself it don't Jac: all I care about is everything being as shit as possible Jac: and pushing you all far away Jac: I've never said that wasn't the case but yeah, go off with your pseudo-psych Jesse: and all you did was push her onto the end of a phone with mum and dad, well done Jesse: closer that she was before, that Jac: yeah and? Jac: they can chat all they fucking please I don't have to join in Jesse: and don't come to me chuffed to bits with yourself when you've got no reason to be Jesse: there's the and Jac: awh Jac: you got woke up Jac: weren't me shouting Jesse: Never is Jac: well observed Jesse: I ain't in enough of a mard about the wake up call for you to get your only joy out of it, soz like Jac: whatever shall I do Jac: 💔 Jesse: Kettle's always on round here Jac: Hilarious Jesse: you'll have to get it yourself Jesse: doubly 💔 I know Jac: I don't like tea Jac: and I'm certainly not making any of you a cup Jesse: I ain't asking for one, I've got work Jac: how fun Jesse: 👋 Jac: enjoy Jesse: 🤞 Jac: try not to wake me when you get back Jesse: Got nothing to shout about Jac: gutted Jesse: won't be you getting the 🎻s out Jac: yeah, you can't play it Jesse: and I'm alright for learning any more instruments at the minute Jac: lazy Jesse: it's loud enough around here Jac: take that up with the rest Jac: they don't take pointed silence as a fucking hint Jesse: worked that out by myself, tah Jesse: have lived here long as you Jac: not quite Jesse: good as Jac: those 10 months without you were the best of my life Jesse: keep them close to your 🖤 Jesse: nowt I can do about it Jac: can't retroactively give dad a vasectomy Jesse: 💔 Jac: so sad Jesse: I got that Jac: good Jac: it's not all for nothing Jesse: 👍 Jac: can't we swap rooms Jesse: if you want Jac: really? Jac: her shit is everywhere Jesse: Don't matter Jac: i'm going sleep in your bed then Jesse: yours Jesse: that's what a swap is Jac: yes but i'm not moving the beds right now Jesse: Alright Jac: tell everyone you said its fine Jesse: weren't gonna keep it a secret Jac: Jameson and Jude will be pissed off Jesse: and? Jac: I don't wanna be rudely awoken Jac: we need a bigger house Jesse: my job don't pay that well Jac: two more years Jesse: ✔ Jac: that was an affirmation for me, not you Jesse: say it in your head then Jac: you either want me to talk or not dickhead Jesse: whinging weren't part of the deal, dickhead Jac: that's the only way you talk Jac: or singing, as you call it Jesse: SO funny, you Jac: just honest Jesse: honestly, go to bed Jac: I can't Jesse: ? Jac: too much on my mind Jesse: Yeah Jac: and I'm pretty wired Jac: I'm gonna go study Jesse: I'm out the door but you can come with Jesse: study there Jac: people will think I work there Jac: then you'll get terrible reviews Jesse: not if you stay in the back Jesse: it's well quiet there too Jac: does Ben come in lots still? Jac: Ben from Science, the one you sit next to Jesse: What's lots? Jesse: he comes in Jac: will he come in today? Jesse: I can text him Jac: that's lame Jac: I'll take a selfie Jac: he'll show Jesse: 👌 Jac: right, I'll be there later Jac: I need to re-do my makeup Jesse: in a bit then Jac: should I shower Jesse: Probably Jac: he's not worth it Jac: more probably messy is his type Jesse: so there's your answer Jac: fuck it Jac: keep the smudged mascara Jesse: 🥇💡? Jac: if not Ben it'll work on the other guys there Jesse: Steady on Jac: what? Jesse: You know what Jac: no Jesse: Yeah you do Jac: I can do what I want Jesse: you don't want this Jac: yes I literally do Jesse: Fuck's sake Jac: shut up Jesse: You can not talk to Ben or whoever Jesse: you can't shut me up Jac: don't be a baby about it Jesse: Don't do it Jac: are you always this much of a downer, jesus Jesse: I'll chuck you out Jac: then I'll just go somewhere else and hook up with someone else Jesse: You're such a prick Jac: its literally none of your business so Jesse: you made it my business when you told me about it Jac: whatever Jac: I'm gonna hit up someone else Jesse: Don't whatever me or this Jac: you can't do anything Jesse: You're still there and I ain't far off, I'll come back Jac: oh really Jac: you're gonna shut me in my room on the grounds of hoeing are you Jesse: If you make me Jac: you're funny Jesse: I don't give a fuck, Jac, alright? Jesse: Stop Jac: No Jesse: stop Jac: Why? Jesse: just stop Jac: No Jac: this is what I need to do Jesse: Bollocks Jesse: you need to stop Jac: nope Jac: its the last step of the plan Jesse: [he's coming back for this showdown, soz Pete because he blatantly works at your record store cafe moment] Jac: [whos bed you in that's a fun game of hide and seek] Jesse: [he's a woman don't test him, also soz Jameson and Cammie if you're here] Jac: [ah the drama, gonna have to fight your brother] Jesse: [such fun] Jac: [I hope JJ are there to break this up it must be the weekend so fingers crossed lmao] Jesse: [one of them should get hurt accidentally before they do because what a mood and also they'd be fuming] Jac: [who would you rather] Jesse: [I don't mind either way, could make a case for either so] Jac: [probably him for the angst and she's not in the mindset to be remotely careful like we're just trying to get out so if he tries to stop us we're going in] Jesse: [he is a soft boy like his father so that makes sense, JJ gonna be like wtf because they are the closest of these siblings have they ever even fought before probably not] Jac: [oh the drama, get the gal in therapy but she won't lol] Jesse: [storm off to work boy like you're remotely in the right mindset to be there] Jac: [can't even tracy apologize Jesse: [Jude will be gutted she missed this drama] Jac: [aren't we all]

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: [hit her with the shameless party host girl's DMs after literally no time since she was humiliated] Jimmy: It's looking like we need a new scale just for her Janis: seriously Janis: where's the rock she was meant to crawl under and die Janis: 🧠 her with it Jimmy: we probably smashed or hid it when we trashed the place Jimmy: what else do you wanna do about this? Janis: parents are right amateurs Janis: can't even take her 📴 away Janis: what do we do Janis: the DMs are peaking atm, really annoying when I'm trying to sort customers from timewasters Jimmy: I could post hers, but she'd probably take pride in the promo Jimmy: fake 👰💍🤵? Janis: yeah Janis: when your last lad would untag himself from anything you tagged him in and not take a photo with you Janis: that kinda shit is EVERYTHING to them Janis: 🤔🤔🤔 Janis: where'd I get a fake 👗 Jimmy: you said you didn't know her, been busy, have you? 😏 Janis: erm shut up, you know they're all the same and it was a generalization Janis: a fair one, but still Jimmy: 👌 babe Janis: [dogwalking photo like there, still busy, thank you] Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: 🐶🌭💦 #kinkunlocked??? Jimmy: [a picture of Twix with his hands over her ears like shh] Janis: Oh no Janis: do I ring childline or RSPCA? 😏 Jimmy: Depends Janis: on? Jimmy: how lonely you've been without me Jimmy: one would be a well longer chat than the other Janis: not been 🐶 levels of pining for you Janis: but my ability to fake it if necessary hasn't gone away Jimmy: write me a better DM than hers and I'll put 'em side by side Janis: not hard Janis: even if you aren't as inspiring as me 😘 Jimmy: soz I meant to say write me a 🥇 one Janis: not been long enough you can act like you forgot who I am Jimmy: if Bill can't get me wearing tights and prancing about on stage for a fake ⚔ or 💔 then there's no chance of you managing it, mate Jimmy: so there's no act Jimmy: just don't know who you are Janis: 🙄 Janis: alright, but the point is there is an act and it's clearly still needed Jimmy: 🖋 your 💌 when you're not too busy or owt Janis: [�� tweet that would get everyone talking about them as a them again] Janis: like I said, piece of piss Jimmy: [cue a 🔥 exchange cos obvs he's gotta pull his weight and prove how easy it is for him too it's not like he missed her or anything NOPE] Janis: always a pleasure doing business with you Jimmy: pleasure would be all mine if we were done but Janis: that would mean life was fair, wouldn't it Jimmy: that would mean any dickhead could crack on to any other with an @ and it'd make 'em #fated Janis: the point is to put out the opposite and keep the @s from other dickheads to a minimum, I'm aware Janis: so what's step 2 this time Jimmy: you're gonna have to 🙄 at me in person Jimmy: how massive of an audience do you want? Janis: MASSIVE Janis: not only do I get to shout that at you Janis: 🔫 as many inbox lurkers as possible in one 🎯 Jimmy: had my 🤞 you'd say that Jimmy: Alright, that's work ❌ unless you've got nowt but 👴👵 or 🤰👶 in your inbox Janis: sadly, my inbox is about as diverse as 💙 Janis: some 👴 but mostly their sons and grandsons, like Jimmy: leaving me their daughters Janis: you're welcome Janis: only a few who took Mia's casual homophobia to 💘 which is a bit 😬 but you know Jimmy: hang on, there are people who take owt she 🗨s to 💘??!! Janis: ask the other gals Janis: between the 😭 Jimmy: come on, they'd need a 💘 Jimmy: instead of just being 🧫 with hair Janis: 😏 Janis: alright, decent description Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Jimmy: never been much of a 🖋💕 Jimmy: reckon you might have the wrong 👻 Janis: or Bill has possessed you Janis: without permission is a bit #metoo of him but Janis: different times, you know Jimmy: without buying me a drink, he would an' all Jimmy: that's what I get for having an earring Janis: did he start that or what Jimmy: @ him Jimmy: 💰 on him taking the credit Janis: invite him to a dinner party, or whatever that game is Jimmy: fuck's sake, we don't have to have a dinner party to show everyone we're still #goals do we? Janis: I sincerely hope not Janis: they'd be the FUSSIEST guests Jimmy: nah chuck them cotton wool balls in a bowl instead of crisps or 🔑🔑🔑 Janis: grim Janis: fake 👰💍🤵 is one thing Janis: playing 🏡 is just silly Jimmy: What are we gonna do then? Jimmy: I dunno where the fuck a MASSIVE crowd of our dickhead fans are Janis: lemme 🔭 Jimmy: Tah, if I point mine towards the park I'll probably get arrested Janis: not redeeming that rep for you Janis: have limits Jimmy: I get it 👀 out your window only works if you've seen a murder and you're the one with the dodgy ankle, not me Janis: just saying, you'll want people to think you're in it for the 🐶s Janis: it's gonna be another bullshit party Janis: all there ever is Jimmy: Alright Janis: just working out which will be the biggest Jimmy: been in your DMs too long, girl Janis: ha ha Janis: though sending them back size comparisons is a solid idea Jimmy: it ain't been long enough for you to forget how many 🥇💡 I have Jimmy: pick the one that'll be the most bearable, word and 📷 will get round Janis: I think she'll be at this [slightly smaller basic party] one but there will be more people at [larger basic party] this one Janis: true though Janis: but they'll all be shit Jimmy: are you gonna smack her? Janis: jealousy isn't very goals Jimmy: weren't what I asked Janis: yeah but even if I'd LOVE to, not gonna have it looking like that's why Janis: so unlikely Jimmy: if you'd love to but you reckon you can't, we won't go wherever she is Janis: s'different for lads Janis: you're a pussy if you don't, I'd be a psycho if I did Janis: we can hit multiple potentially, max coverage, like Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: I'll crack on building an assault course she can fall off Janis: cheers Janis: [party] is near-ish the CG, go there first makes sense Jimmy: loads of ways to 💀💀💀 ourselves and then just haunt it Janis: caffeine OD, you mean or? Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: 💀👑 ain't possessed me an' all Janis: then fill me in on the poisons you keep next to the caramel syrup, like Jimmy: if I wanted to make your heart beat faster there's no need to make you a latte Jimmy: and for stopping it, there's no need to use ☠ that's Bill's ™ Janis: definitely 🤓 flirting Jimmy: send it to her, she must be 💔🎻😭 by now Janis: is bound to be missing me as well Jimmy: 🤞 she tweets her 💕 for you so I can give it a retweet Janis: lazy back in style then Jimmy: is it? Janis: I'm asking you Jimmy: how would I know? Jimmy: got my own 😎🚬 Janis: 👌 got your 15mins Janis: made up for you Jimmy: if I did I wouldn't be 🗨 to you Janis: 💔🎻😭 I'm sure Jimmy: save it for our fake breakup, Jillian Janis: naturally I'll be living my best life Janis: anything more tragic? think not Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: if you've been possessed by my ex, not fuming she's dead but not chuffed by the idea of going to a party with her, so wrestle back control Janis: shit at accents Janis: not gonna try to #trigger you Jimmy: she weren't much of a talker, you're alright Janis: don't need the details, you're alright too Jimmy: I'll put my picture I was painting you in the bin then Jimmy: bit rude Janis: Poor boy Jimmy: Oi, I definitely already put the bank statements in Janis: this is the part where I make you buy me shit I don't need then Janis: alright Jimmy: I'll give you a bit to crack on 💭🤔 Janis: if the list ain't double-sided, I've fucked up Jimmy: 🐴🍾👠💍👜💄👗💎🏎🏠🏖 Jimmy: ✈🦷🐅💐👶🦪🚢🖼⌚️ Janis: 👏 Janis: I'll flog most of it Janis: great rate on 👶 Jimmy: and the 🐅 Janis: I wanna keep the 🐅 Jimmy: 🤞 it eats the 🐴 before you get weirdly attached Jimmy: jealousy ain't goals you said, and I would be Janis: feed you sugar cubes if you really want Jimmy: then I'd have to buy myself new 🦷 an' all Janis: they work last I checked Jimmy: til you rot 'em out my head, we'll be proper #goals us Janis: one way to put people off Janis: long term Janis: have to keep doing this 'til the damage really sets in Jimmy: if only you were sweeter 💔 Janis: unlucky Janis: surprised you ain't moved yet Jimmy: nah, you taste nice really Jimmy: unlike that bitter 💊 Janis: obvs 👍 Janis: weird they're not dying to get rid of yous Jimmy: @iantaylor8 Jimmy: crack on with fucking your co-workers tah very much Jimmy: need a new mum and address obvs Janis: #whenorientationdrags Jimmy: #whenyouvelostyourtouchbecauseyouaintallowedtoslaplassesonthearseatthephotocopierthesedays Janis: #romanceisDEAD Jimmy: 💀💀💀 Jimmy: that'll be why he keeps getting ghosted Janis: won't get my ma involved then, even though step-sister is ultimate goals in ALL lad's books Janis: she's the 👑 of that Jimmy: if they look like you, yeah Jimmy: not like some of the ones he'd have stuck me with if he could keep a missus around Janis: can't even fuck then, what is the point Jimmy: can chuck 👶 and 🐕 at them Jimmy: they might even live Janis: don't even have to pay 'em Janis: skint equivalent of the nanny, clearly Jimmy: 👍 Janis: now I'm just gutted about my lack of a new dad, thanks a lot Jimmy: take mine Janis: he'll take me out for 🍦 WITHOUT piping my mum?! Janis: yay Jimmy: I dunno what your mum looks like but I've seen you, it's a safe 💰 on yeah Jimmy: say you've been on holiday and it's a tan that'll fade, you'll be alright Janis: make her go along with the babysitter line Janis: always a good one Jimmy: nowt could go wrong Janis: you're being the snobby LiLo twin no swapsies Jimmy: only 'cause you can't do accents Janis: neither could she Janis: I'm just 😎 than you Jimmy: you just wanna pierce my other ear and cut my hair Janis: you do need a haircut Jimmy: bollocks do I Janis: 😏 Jimmy: find loads of yours in owt I've worn AND wake up with it in my mouth Jimmy: it'd take the piss trying to murder you Janis: with this perma-tan? Janis: still get away with it, don't worry Janis: anyway, I'll 💀 you first Jimmy: so you keep promising Janis: time and a place is all I need, new boy Jimmy: if you need a written invite I'm sure whoever's party this is can at least manage to 🖋 your name, Jenna Janis: wouldn't 🤞 Janis: am a vampire though so, at least gotta wave me in Jimmy: good thing you scrub up decent then Janis: 🍀 Jimmy: 🍻 Janis: gonna teach me how to sign it if I make sure you're saying it right in Irish? Jimmy: about equal as useful skills go probably Jimmy: unless your next fake boyfriend is deaf and then I'll be fuming duh Janis: gonna make that happen now, obvs Janis: gonna be a tough stalk but got no doubt in my skillz Jimmy: brb 😭 Jimmy: *🥊 Jimmy: 💪🏆 obvs Janis: I'll tell him you're so 💪🏆 Jimmy: tell everyone how well hard I am, double meaning works for lads and lasses Janis: don't wanna come across as protest too much though Janis: fine line Jimmy: UGH fine, I'll leak my nudes Janis: not gonna hurt your rep Jimmy: I know, but we're trying to clear my DMs not encourage lasses to send more Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: I do it when we've been together a bit and I've let myself go Janis: gut covering most of it? Janis: good idea Jimmy: works for Mr Lucas Jimmy: I bloody miss that stud Janis: will 🤞 mine you get at least one date with him 'fore you piss off then Jimmy: SO romantic that Jimmy: tah my dear Janis: not like the prospect of being alone with him actually makes my skin crawl Jimmy: 'course not, you know how lucky you are Jimmy: and dead special Janis: sound like his lines Jimmy: we're that #connected OMG Janis: 💫🔮 Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: @ me as a 👻 when he does you in though Jimmy: as fake girlfriend's go Janis: you done this before? Jimmy: What? Janis: fake 💕 Jimmy: Why would I? Janis: Dunno Janis: just trying to gage how much of a compliment it is Jimmy: how much of a compliment do you want? Janis: fake ones don't interest me Jimmy: weren't what I asked Janis: saying if you don't wanna say it, I don't wanna hear it Jimmy: I don't say owt unless I want to Janis: me either Jimmy: I worked that out Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: weren't a request or anything Jimmy: can be Janis: it wasn't Jimmy: Alright Janis: meet you later then Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: in a bit Janis: they been in today Jimmy: are we gonna start asking questions we know the answer to now or what? Janis: not the most fun game 2 people can play but Jimmy: but? Janis: both too busy for fuck all else Jimmy: oi, I'm NEVER too busy for you 💕 Janis: that's the official story Janis: also surely 🥇 if I don't distract you from your 💰 Jimmy: 🥇 that you do Janis: hmm Janis: might have to wait on that Janis: my dog walking look ain't one, no doubt Jimmy: it is if my 😍 say so Jimmy: and it were you who said they chase lads and try and all that bollocks, you don't have to, that's why it's goals Janis: what time does your shift end today anyway? Jimmy: I'm closing that's why you got to see my 🐕📷 earlier Janis: she's cute Jimmy: @ her Jimmy: reckon my sister's made her one by now Janis: don't even Janis: Gracie used to have one for every cat we had and they all had a different 'voice' Janis: sign of trouble to come, tbh 🤪 Jimmy: fucking hell Janis: compelling narrative, very 🧼 lives they were apparently living Jimmy: maybe Bill's 👻 will follow her round for a bit, leave me to my 🎭 Janis: obviously got bullied out of that behaviour ages ago, soz Jimmy: like the bollocks Mia has her doing ain't even more Shakespearean Janis: regardless, she's up her 😽 instead now Janis: cats are gutted Janis: all that graft for nothing Jimmy: lovely Jimmy: such a way with words he'll be after you Janis: 'cos you've been soliloquizing this whole time Janis: he's well impressed with me already tah Jimmy: one word for it 😏 Janis: 🛑😂 Jimmy: soz that verbally wanking off these customers for tips don't roll off the tongue in the same way but Jimmy: customer service ain't come a very long way Janis: I get it Janis: worst part of the day is talking to the owners Jimmy: next place I'm fully committing to fake deaf mute Janis: I would Jimmy: back up north they'll be thick enough to believe it were hereditary and stuck me down suddenly while I were gone Janis: could always have one off if you wanna go for a bit of realism Jimmy: most of 'em ain't heard me say nowt any road Jimmy: no need to come for Vinnie's entire brand Janis: you always had the mute part down then Jimmy: that a question? Janis: if you liked the obvious one earlier, can be Jimmy: you heard me say I don't say owt unless I want to Jimmy: unless you've got the deaf bit down yourself Janis: a plot twist too far, I reckon Jimmy: you can have a 🏆 if you're faking being that shit at signing Janis: cheek Janis: you're obviously a bad teacher Jimmy: would be if you were getting me to teach you things you already know, yeah Janis: that'd just be silly Jimmy: nowt close to the biggest load of bollocks we've done though Janis: don't remind me Jimmy: alright, what can I remind you of? Janis: our 🏆👑💪🥇 moments, obviously Jimmy: that's LITERALLY all of 'em Janis: DUH Jimmy: I get it, you want a soliloquy Janis: double-sided Jimmy: [is a nerd so does write her one] Janis: not gonna mark it Janis: can't do it how Lucas does, 'course 💔 Jimmy: don't remind me Janis: you said you couldn't write Jimmy: and? Jimmy: I can't Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: you get what you ask for, just the kind of fake boyfriend I am Janis: you can do my English homework for the foreseeable then Jimmy: he'll know it's me but if that's alright with you Janis: oh yeah, your connection Jimmy: that and the quality'll go way up Janis: why I'm asking Janis: got that much brain, like Jimmy: don't need loads to be better than whatever 💌 you've done for Lucas before Janis: fuck off Jimmy: What, you're gonna pretend you give a shit now? Or just fake that you're offended that I know you don't Janis: don't call me thick, 'cos I ain't, is what Jimmy: I didn't Janis: Good as Jimmy: Where? Janis: alright, we can drop it Jimmy: you mean you wanna drop it 'cause I said nowt of the sort Jimmy: go on then Janis: shut up Janis: you were taking the piss regardless Jimmy: no I weren't Jimmy: you had the hump regardless, more like Janis: this is helping Jimmy: What's your problem? Janis: what's yours Jimmy: I asked you first Janis: Don't be annoying Janis: clearly, I thought you were taking the piss, if you ain't, then whatever Jimmy: is it? Janis: yeah Jimmy: alright Janis: actually leave you to it now Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 👋 Jimmy: 😘 Janis: 🤮 Jimmy: bit rude Janis: nah Janis: you're throwing 💋s I'm throwing 🦠s Jimmy: can you not chuck 💀👑 and her mates about tah, got enough tidying up to do Jimmy: be hair everywhere Janis: sweep it up, stick it back on Janis: pay fortunes for that, well decent tip Jimmy: 🧹💰💰 Janis: don't do TOO good a job, or you will be stuck for life Janis: definitely not the point Jimmy: 🤞 even Ian ain't that useless Janis: statistically impossible that there's no bitch in his office with low self-esteem Jimmy: he's had enough time to wear away any lass who had a bit if there weren't Janis: any day now Jimmy: ⏲ Janis: what you going back for Janis: the weather? Jimmy: 🌧✔ Jimmy: got that here an' all, bighead Janis: alright Janis: can't hear all of a sudden Jimmy: maybe you got water in your ears from all the 🌧 we've been having Janis: I meant you, ignoring my ? dickhead Janis: but could be Jimmy: I've got a mum, don't I? Jimmy: will that do you for an answer? Janis: if you want Jimmy: not really, she's well shit Jimmy: but until Ian pulls his finger out and puts a 💍 on another lass' she's the only one I've got Janis: must be Janis: why'd she let your dad take your kid brother Jimmy: didn't @ her beforehand Janis: why'd you come with him then Jimmy: Why would I leave them alone with him? Janis: if he's done a bunk with some kids, then they won't be with him long Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: alright Jimmy: it's not 📺 you can leave it out Janis: Fine Janis: done Jimmy: are you? 👏 Janis: whatever Jimmy: don't whatever me about my own life, I've got the 🎻🎻 living it, dickhead Jimmy: you ain't more bored than me Janis: I stopped talking ages ago Janis: you don't need to say no more Jimmy: and I gave you a 👏 for it, you after a 🏆 an' all now? Janis: right Jimmy: 🏆 then Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: don't bother about later, alright Jimmy: I'm already bothered about it Jimmy: don't piss about, how's that? Janis: then mute your phone for the evening or until I am Jimmy: I'm not changing my plans just 'cause it's taken you this long to realise I've got a shit mum and a shit dad Janis: then you can go by yourself or realise you don't have much of a plan without my help Jimmy: funnily enough, I already knew I couldn't do this single handed Janis: don't chat to me like shit regardless of however much your life is Jimmy: don't ask me questions if you can't hack the answers Janis: Just don't answer if you don't want to Janis: that's your rule, apparently Janis: don't bullshit you have when you've just been cagey about it, I said alright, so move on Jimmy: it were you who couldn't shut up fast enough, not me Janis: you literally asked me to Janis: why would I keep on Jimmy: I haven't asked for nowt Janis: 'you can leave it out' Janis: so I did Janis: then I weren't interested enough Janis: I hit a nerve, it was an accident, so fuck off and deal with it or drop it Jimmy: what would you like me to deal with, that my mum can't do nowt or that I dunno if she would even if she could do? 'Cause that's where we were going with your bollocks assessment of my life story there Jimmy: they're as useless to me as each other Janis: She did the bunk, not your dad Jimmy: she did one first Janis: right Janis: Jesus Jimmy: I don't reckon he's involved, unless she found him on her way out Janis: your dad know where she is, or was that the point Jimmy: does it sound like he tells me owt he knows? Janis: you'd probably knew if he knew Janis: crap at hiding that kind of stuff Jimmy: is he? Janis: all adults are, especially the stuff they want to keep from you Jimmy: 1. can barely call him an adult 2. he can't lord it over us without telling us, that'll be what he wants to do Janis: yeah, so he don't know Janis: if he could call your mum crap for this, then he would, you'd never hear the end of it Janis: even if smug silence was his style, still loud Jimmy: he calls her all sorts and his girlfriend's never hear the end of it either Janis: is that just male tears 'cos she left HIM though Jimmy: it suits him, when it don't, might be a different story Janis: counts as foreplay for 'em, father of the year, sure Jimmy: I can't make a 🏆 for him an' all, I ain't finished making all yours Janis: you can buy mugs Janis: just so you know Jimmy: WHAT??! Those things I stare at all day?! Janis: yeah, ikr Janis: world's best [insert title here] Jimmy: who does that work for? Janis: never have my name Janis: unlikely they have 'fake girlfriend' so you know Jimmy: never been nowhere how the fuck would I know what the world's got to offer Jimmy: be a pisstake that Janis: ✔ here off the bucket list Jimmy: chuffed to bits, like Janis: how could you not be Jimmy: 💀💀💀 inside Jimmy: and out 👻 Janis: don't stop me living and loving every second Jimmy: why you're 🥇 Janis: feels great Jimmy: obvs Jimmy: right laugh now you've got the 💕 an' all Janis: why else would you pick me Jimmy: ? Janis: 'cos I'm a well known laugh a minute Jimmy: you owe me loads if that ain't all chat but alright Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: yeah, be about right Janis: you weren't wrong, anyway Jimmy: sounds fake that Janis: just saying, whatever you heard or reckoned, about me being sad enough to agree, probably spot on so there we go Jimmy: what are you on about? Janis: you either thought I'd be up for this fake dating bollocks because I legit needed a beard or 'cos I had fuck all else on Jimmy: don't be a twat Janis: I'm not, it's comforting, dickhead Jimmy: it's bollocks, nowt else Janis: let me be nice Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: you know why I asked you and it's nowt to do with any of that Jimmy: I didn't even reckon you'd say yeah, alright? Janis: had no reason to say no Jimmy: there are loads but it's a bit late now Janis: you know why I said yes as well Janis: so yeah, don't matter Jimmy: no I don't Janis: oi Janis: I didn't take the opportunity to make you say it, why should I now Jimmy: I didn't say you had to tell me, I said I dunno Janis: yes you do Jimmy: stop it Janis: what? Jimmy: I just said I don't, it's nowt to argue about Janis: why you asked'll be why I said yes Janis: it's not hard Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: rude Jimmy: how am I? Janis: how aren't you? Jimmy: THAT'S rude Janis: what you get Janis: weren't interested in nice Jimmy: you weren't being nice Janis: how weren't I? Jimmy: how were you? Janis: 🙄 Janis: truce Jimmy: are you gonna keep being a dickhead after I agree? Janis: don't you trust me Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: 🥇 one Jimmy: I keep telling you, girl, you can't give 🏆🥇 to yourself Jimmy: keep trying to put me out of a job, well trustworthy that is Janis: you keep complaining about how many I need Janis: called being helpful Jimmy: now you're slagging off my work ethic Jimmy: that's called 💔 Janis: finding fault in EVERYTHING I do now Janis: very rude Jimmy: you started it Janis: No I never Jimmy: yeah you did Jimmy: go have a look Janis: do I have to? Jimmy: can't make you from here Janis: that's called 💔 Jimmy: I know 🎻 Janis: what have you been doing Janis: case I need to act like I know Jimmy: you do Jimmy: #🎨 Janis: right Janis: covers all sins Janis: ☕🖋💘 Jimmy: tell me then Janis: tell you what? Jimmy: It's the same question, my dear Janis: oh, all the 🎨 I've been doing Janis: 🏃🐕🏋️🥊 Janis: repeat Jimmy: I should probably post some, remind me when I get back to mine Janis: the fans demand it Jimmy: won't be very #goals for them to be reckoning you've only inspired 💭💕 Jimmy: or true Janis: what are you posting Janis: do I get a preview Jimmy: do you want one? Janis: yeah Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: come here, I'll reenact it for you Janis: 😳 Jimmy: don't worry I'm not ripping off Titanic Jimmy: gotta leave something for the 💭💕 Janis: have a job to steam up an entire cafe Janis: even with the necessary equipment Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: 😏 Janis: definite health and safety hazard Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: get it now Janis: your manager is a CLOSE 🥈 to Lucas and you want attention Jimmy: your guess is as good as mine, mate Jimmy: never seen him Janis: 🤨 Janis: is CG a front for 💰🧺 Jimmy: might be Jimmy: or he's a 👻 an' all and it's getting crowded ⚰ with me and Bill pissing about Janis: intriguing Janis: 😍 Jimmy: don't dump me for a shyer 👻 Janis: not trying to work my way up your corporate ladder Jimmy: unless that's a euphemism, you're alright Janis: maybe that's the kind of work-related sexy talk your dad is going for Janis: not the one Jimmy: 🤢 Jimmy: can I call in sick off the back of that? Janis: I think so Jimmy: fucking can't though 'cause you're meeting me here UGH Janis: could meet you at yours if I was 💀👑 and knew where it was Jimmy: it were you who said the party was near here Janis: it is Jimmy: not gonna piss off back home then, am I? Jimmy: don't miss Ian that much Janis: power through then, baby Jimmy: help me then Jimmy: you're so 💪🏆🥇 Janis: what do you need? Jimmy: If I knew that I'd be 💪🏆🥇 an' all and I wouldn't need you Jimmy: but I do Janis: tell me when your next break is Janis: and I'll see what I can do Jimmy: [gives her a time for when it's meant to be which I hope is soon for both their sakes] Janis: alright, I'll have dropped the majority of the pack by then so I can do it Jimmy: yeah? Janis: 'course Janis: you owe me a preview Jimmy: 💭💕 til then Janis: easy Jimmy: for you, you ain't carrying ☕ about Jimmy: or making it, #extra🌡don't reckon you want a preview of my newest burn scars Janis: don't hurt yourself Janis: or I'll have to prioritize nursing you Jimmy: it's my turn but Janis: you had a long weekend Janis: wouldn't be fair Jimmy: right Janis: gotta keep being 💪🏆🥇 Jimmy: how's your ankle? you never said Janis: it's alright Jimmy: alright actually or alright how you say it is when you don't wanna talk about it? Janis: alright like it'd probably be better if I could rest it more but I can't so it'd as good as it can be Jimmy: Oi, you're resting it tomorrow Jimmy: tonight goes without saying Janis: you know what I do for my 💰 yeah Jimmy: yeah and I'll do it Jimmy: if I ain't about my sister will Janis: you don't need to Janis: and you can't sign her up without asking Jimmy: shut up Jimmy: I weren't asking for your permission or hers Jimmy: you're resting and she's giving me a hand Janis: you're in charge now, yeah Jimmy: soz I'm SUCH a #lad Jimmy: you can have a go at me when you're better Janis: see how I feel about it then Jimmy: me an' all, see if you're a 🥇 patient or not Janis: you know I'm not Jimmy: that were then Janis: you think I'll be better behaved now? Janis: such an optimist Jimmy: I might just be a realist ☀ girl Jimmy: I reckon I can make it happen Janis: you're being very distracting Jimmy: don't 💀💀💀 it'd really take the piss and go against owt I'm trying to do Janis: do my best Janis: even if it goes against Bill's plan Jimmy: I've got my own for you, he don't get a say unless he's #teambedrest Janis: 💀💀💀bed Jimmy: not til I've fixed your ankle and behaviour Jimmy: soz Janis: jesus Jimmy: I get that you don't wanna wait that long, but I'll do my best an' all Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Janis: it's been too long Janis: know it's only been days but Jimmy: it's alright, I'm gonna look after you Janis: what about you Jimmy: what about me? Janis: you need looking after too Jimmy: I sent out my SOS a bit ago and you said you'd be there, don't need nowt else, do I? Janis: you're gonna make me bedrest on my own? Jimmy: you won't be very rested with me and Bill crowding you Jimmy: take all my jobs seriously, me Janis: I'd rather have you Janis: but okay Janis: reluctant 😇 Jimmy: I'll be about keeping an 👀 Janis: Good Janis: make sure you have something to see Jimmy: be a shit nurse if you can't find me whenever you need owt Janis: you're very dedicated to all your jobs, I remember Jimmy: still should've checked on you before now Janis: nah Janis: had no reason to Jimmy: Bollocks Janis: alright, being 🥇 fake boyfriend-nurse would've maybe kept her out of your DMs a day longer Jimmy: til she breaks her leg or something 🤞 I'll be back round for a house call Janis: don't be doing house calls for no one else Jimmy: I ain't doing 'em for you either, that 🚍 took fucking ages Janis: basically live in the 🏞 Jimmy: and you can't do an assault course 💔 gutted Janis: 😒 Jimmy: Calm down, it were my fault Janis: it was stupid, is what it was Jimmy: yeah, I were Janis: nah Janis: I was the one who fell on my arse Jimmy: don't be making it sound like you and Ella are in the same boat Jimmy: that's like saying it's my own fault Asia dropped me on my arse Janis: it's sizeable Janis: 🍑 Jimmy: you giving me a compliment or taking the piss? Janis: which would you prefer Jimmy: you meant it how you meant it, Jules, nowt to do with me Janis: 😏 Jimmy: are you not gonna tell us? Janis: can't a girl have any secrets Jimmy: if that's the kind of fake girlfriend you wanna be Janis: I can't just compliment you Jimmy: Why? Janis: 'cos it's not fake at all Jimmy: I won't tweet it to the fans then Jimmy: everything you say to me don't have to be fake Janis: like everything we do Jimmy: I'm not nursing you back to health 'cause it's #goals Jimmy: I know it winds you up not being able to do nowt and I want you to feel better Janis: I actually appreciate it Janis: you know that Jimmy: but I'm not doing it for that either Jimmy: you can be a twat if you want or if it hurts, I don't care Janis: if your sister does the walks, I'll give her the cash, I'm not gonna be that twat at any rate Jimmy: she gets 💰 for doing ours, no need for you to lose out Jimmy: and before you start, it's Ian paying out Janis: I'll discuss it with her Jimmy: or you'll just listen to me and leave it out, how about that? Jimmy: I'll only get her to give me a hand if I've got work Jimmy: write your schedule down or whatever Janis: alright, hang on Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [amalgamating your calendar for what dogs needs walking and when tomorrow] Janis: even if you could do the AM, then I'd be rested enough to do the afternoon shift Janis: [list of some of the dogs] these ones only really need taking out, so I can do then and sit whilst they 💩 Janis: but [other list] these ones actually want the exercise Jimmy: no bloody wonder it ain't healed Jimmy: is there a 🐕 about you ain't walking? steady on, dickhead Janis: just LOVE 💰💰💰 obvs Janis: and not being in the house Jimmy: Oi where's that list I done? scroll up Jimmy: you can buy us a 🐅 and whatever else it were Janis: bet 🐅 need LOADS of walking Janis: giving yourself another job there, boy Jimmy: let it eat my 🐕 and it won't be any extra Janis: definitely RSPCA Jimmy: crack on Jimmy: best place for it, can find a home that ain't full of dickheads Jimmy: maybe the dad in that one'll run it by 'em before it brings it back Jimmy: he* Janis: 🎁puppy? Janis: how cliche Janis: did you not give him your list? Jimmy: I don't give him nowt unless it's 🖕 obvs Janis: fair Jimmy: 😎🚬 Jimmy: rebel with the one cause, me Janis: ☕ Jimmy: 🛏⛓ duh Janis: remind me to check for sledgehammers before I get in bed with you again Jimmy: if that's what you wanna call it, don't let me stop you 😏 far as compliments go Janis: 😂 shut up Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: alright, one more drop off then I'll be with you Jimmy: ⏲ but be careful, like Janis: 👀 open, I know Jimmy: you'll have loads of time to close 'em in a bit Janis: as long as I get to look at you for a bit before that Jimmy: I get it, as uniforms go, could've done worse Jimmy: tah @ my 👻 manager Janis: not my kink, thank you Jimmy: UGH fine I'll take it off, stop begging Janis: do you have a defibrillator? the 👵 are gonna be hitting the deck Janis: not in a suggestive way Jimmy: Oi I have that effect on 👴 an' all Janis: in yours dreams, babes Jimmy: in sirs Jimmy: and stop messing me about! Either you can read minds or you can't Jimmy: what's the truth, Jolene? Janis: only when the 🧠 is predictable Janis: 💁 Jimmy: bit rude Janis: you aren't mad I like you for your ⚒ not your 🧠 Jimmy: get out of my head, you, how's a lad meant to stay fit and mysterious? Janis: far as the fans know Jimmy: steady on, that were almost a promise to keep my secrets there Janis: only the ones that are mutually beneficial Janis: neither of us needs to be outed for fake dating, s'why it works as a deal Jimmy: even if we were, nobody'd believe it, that's why it works Janis: exactly, if one of us went 😤 😠 😡 🤬 and tried to 💣💥 then we'd just look like we were chatting shit Janis: foolproof in that way at least Jimmy: if you wanna smack that lass I'll think of a way to make it #goals, nowt I can't Janis: alright, don't make me 🤤 Jimmy: don't you make me have to get a mop out Janis: 🚬 break, baby Janis: no work required Jimmy: alright, if you want me 🤤 an' all you're going the right way about it Janis: maybe you can take TWENTY minutes instead 🥴 Jimmy: depends Janis: go on Jimmy: if you'll live Jimmy: don't reckon we do have one of them defibrillators Janis: depends as well, that Jimmy: yeah, can you take it or can't you? Janis: 'course I can Jimmy: 20 then Janis: loads I can do for you in 20 Jimmy: just come here Janis: [picture walking with no dogs like omw] Jimmy: already behaving for me? 🏆😍🤤 Janis: I just wanna see you Jimmy: [a picture like 👋 cos he's a nerd] Janis: rude Jimmy: soz I don't have any nudes to hand Janis: 1. amateur 2. not what I meant 3. that you look like that Jimmy: 1. Oi 2. maybe you should say what you mean 3. you're one to talk Janis: I did Jimmy: I'll let you off then Janis: really are 👮 aren't ya Jimmy: 🚔🚨 Jimmy: don't tell that lass I could have her in handcuffs Janis: not rushing into her inbox for anything, let alone that Jimmy: 👍 Janis: she's such a dick Jimmy: I get now why she's so 😍 for me, she ain't got a clue about her angles Jimmy: right crime, that Janis: no angle is hiding that Janis: 💔 Jimmy: I could make her look #goals if there were a gun to my head Janis: shh, don't give her ideas Janis: not allowed to 💀 for her socials Jimmy: if she's listening, it'll be you who's getting 💀💀💀 Jimmy: soz I fucked you over by not being able to get enough of you Janis: I reckon I can handle that Jimmy: for 20 minutes yeah, you said Janis: maybe after that and all Janis: see how we feel, like Jimmy: see how you feel after you've been stuck in my bed for ages with me fussing over you, more like Janis: that too Jimmy: my 💰's on 🤬🤬🤬 Janis: not a bet I'd take Janis: too easy Jimmy: you don't reckon it'll be easy for me to make you 😍😍🤤🤤 again an' all? Janis: you reckon it will be? Jimmy: that's not an answer Janis: yeah, it's a question Janis: answer it Jimmy: answer mine Janis: how can I answer that Jimmy: with a yeah or a no Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: 😍😍🤤🤤 25% Jimmy: you making a 💕 scale now? Janis: 😍 🥰 😘 😗 😙 😚 😋 😛 😝 😜 🤪 🤨 Janis: sliding scale, that one Jimmy: you ain't got 🤤 or 😳 though Janis: UGH Janis: 😍 🥰 😳 🤤 😘 😗 😙 😚 😋 😛 😝 😜 🤪 🤨 Jimmy: Where are you then? Janis: currently Janis: this dead-in-the-eyes one OBVS 😛 Jimmy: hot Janis: you're 😳 deffo Jimmy: piss off I'm always 😘 Janis: nah Janis: the steam Jimmy: is that a #kinkunlocked with you or what? Janis: just facts Janis: [making self seen in the window like hey] Jimmy: [immediately coming out to kiss her as if it's been years instead of days] Janis: [the most extra moment] Jimmy: [we'll allow it lads] Janis: [shit got intense] Jimmy: [yeah it really did and lbr even if it hadn't you'd still have missed each other] Janis: [casually missed you way too much to be comfortable with] Jimmy: [likewise and also feel bad about her ankle so we have lifted her off the ground during this makeout] Janis: [just rest up on this cafe like no one is watching oh you two] Jimmy: [not even putting on a show rn though we're just doing what we wanna BYE] Janis: [that's how it is from now tbh that's the tea] Jimmy: [sadly not doing everything that they wanna because you're in public thank you but being as extra as we can get away with] Janis: [just enjoy the time you have] Jimmy: [another shit party will be upon you soon enough, you can do whatever you want then] Janis: [casually not wanting to go when time is up] Jimmy: [stay for a bit gal you've got an ankle to rest] Janis: [so unnatural in this environment] Jimmy: [at least he can go off menu for your food and drink choices because christ knows] Janis: where are you now? Jimmy: on which scale? Janis: Both, if you like Jimmy: I don't think I need to tell you where I am on the 💕 one, wouldn't take a 🧠📖 Jimmy: you can probably feel where I am on the other an' all, reckon you're there yourself Janis: alright, fit and mysterious Janis: I get it Jimmy: is it a mystery that I don't wanna be here? Jimmy: must be a top actor 🏆🥇 Janis: your customer service voice won't be a turn-on, promise you that Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: so you're not gonna leave me a tip? Janis: 😱 Janis: #diditallforthetip Jimmy: that a mystery an' all? Jimmy: you're losing your touch, girl Janis: psh Janis: no mystery, maybe I respect the hustle Janis: no, keep your money, no need to lose out Janis: yeah right Jimmy: 😏 Janis: shameless, some might say Jimmy: some will have done Jimmy: what are you gonna say? Janis: officially? Janis: sharing my location, OBVS Jimmy: officially there's never any mystery DUH Janis: so in-synch so trusting yeah Jimmy: unless it's #datenight 😱😱 Jimmy: a lad's allowed his secrets for a bit then Janis: a good idea for when we aren't obligated to SHOW UP to these bullshit parties Jimmy: I get it, you're still 😭 you still can't dance Jimmy: soon baby Janis: I can dance, you won't let me Jimmy: Oi, pick your moments I'm 😭 there ain't a nurse emoji Jimmy: how am I supposed to #flex? Janis: NO emoji can show how caring you are, babes Jimmy: BABE Jimmy: I need everyone to know I have the outfit Jimmy: ugh I'll have to get my 📷 out again, takes the piss, that Janis: GURL 😤 Janis: unless someone has a costume party for their birthday, you CANNOT Jimmy: 🥺 Janis: it's a tragedy Janis: will 👏 halloween 👏 hurry 👏 up Jimmy: that's every day when you're 👻💕🧛 Janis: for my 👀 only Janis: but I'll take some 🔥 shots without your consent, 'course Jimmy: how 🔥 can they be without MY help? Janis: RUDENESS! Jimmy: [IRL 😏] Janis: [IRL 😛] Jimmy: you've never looked more 🥇 or 🔥 Janis: shut up or publically declare it Jimmy: [cue some extra posts on socials] Janis: [extra ass reply about how hard it is to let him work like you don't mean it at all okay] Jimmy: [we're just flirting hardcore and we mean every word] Janis: how do you do this Janis: ignore all the 🤤 Jimmy: other than being a fake deaf mute? Janis: some of them must be at least a little 😜 though Janis: not all 🤨🤢🤮 Jimmy: why must they? Janis: odds Janis: not every customer can be Janis: well, maybe they can Jimmy: I ain't bothered, that's about me not them Jimmy: already got one work place romeo in @iantaylor8 Janis: fair Janis: be a weird one to be 💪🏆 about Janis: with your dad, anyway Janis: other barista boys, OBVS 🙄 Jimmy: worse than new boy, that Janis: not like you have nametags or anything Jimmy: [looks down at his like what bollocks does mine say today] Janis: you do all look much of a muchness Jimmy: piss off Janis: you're definitely like, top 3 though Jimmy: you're just being a dickhead now Janis: [IRL 😏] Jimmy: [💔 mime] Janis: very ungrateful Janis: still placed podium Jimmy: what do I always say? Janis: is that a trick question? Jimmy: yeah, if you pay attention to owt Jimmy: keep your 🥈🥉 Janis: I'm paying you plenty of attention Jimmy: if that's the best you can do, we can call it plenty Janis: 😒 Janis: erm, didn't BARELY 👀 at that other lad mopping up that spill for you for nothing Jimmy: very ungrateful, me Jimmy: you said it Janis: MEAN too Janis: 🥺 Jimmy: [comes over and gives her something like a 🍪 in a very flirty manner like am I though] Janis: ['bribery' but as per whispering so everything is saucier than it needs to be] Jimmy: [looks over at the tip jar and back at her with a little lol like] Janis: ['so pushy!' but a lol and a LOOK, and is obvs gonna pay at the end we're not cheeky] Jimmy: [always gotta give her a LOOK back but this one is even more extra cos we have to walk away at the same time] Janis: [actual pouting, like obvs in an OTT way but we know you mean it] Jimmy: [we all know he's gonna come back and kiss her for that pouty lip goodness because his manager is not around] Janis: [not like any customer didn't see you making out outside, live ya lives] Jimmy: [sadly the flatwhites aren't here but it gives us an excuse to have another moment™ when they are] Janis: [hohaha] Jimmy: [do some actual work but send LOOKS her way because it's been a long few days without the bae] Janis: I can head out Janis: 'til you're done Jimmy: none of the fans are here running a ⏲ far as I can 👀 Janis: just the ones who NEED everyone to know they NEED to be back in the office asap Jimmy: hang on, Mia's dad's here???! 😱😱 Janis: and you, without a lick of makeup on Janis: honestly, how are you going to catch a man, never mind keep one Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: doubt he's a bigger tipper than 💀👑 Jimmy: 1. I've always got my 🤡 face on 2. I LOVE him for his 💙 and values, tah very much Janis: 1. JUST his type, give or take a few shades towards the orange 2. big yikes sis Jimmy: would've thought it'd be the whiter the better, FULL of surprises, him Jimmy: can't wait to send him my nudes and how many words I can type a minute!! 🍆💦 Janis: oh, strictly FAKE tan honey Janis: lucky for you Janis: 🤞 you get IT Jimmy: legs uncrossed Jimmy: streaky with my bottled tan Janis: stop trying to make me jealous Jimmy: if you'd JUST learn to share we could sort that threesome Janis: sounds like a trio of 🥉 to me Jimmy: I won't have you talking about yourself like that, sweetheart Jimmy: put me out of a job Janis: fuck off 😂 Janis: 💭 up a better third and it could be 🥇 Jimmy: walking out would put me out of a job an' all 💔 Jimmy: unless my manager's our 3rd Janis: 👻🧛👻 Janis: every gals dream Jimmy: 🤞 you don't feel him more than you do me, that'd be my nightmare Janis: awh Janis: baby Jimmy: [sad face] Janis: stop it Janis: everyone gonna rush over with 💰 and I won't be able to get close Jimmy: [comes over under the pretence of cleaning up as if you need to be getting as close as you are to do that, boy] Janis: [just being over-friendly like OMG thank you SO much] Jimmy: [being OTT touchy feely in return but we know you're not really doing it for tips this time lol] Janis: you're trying to get me to 😳 on the scale, yeah Jimmy: keeping you on brand, every dickhead knows pink is your colour Janis: I suit every colour Jimmy: it's only hats you don't, head that big Janis: and hair Janis: a struggle Jimmy: poor baby Jimmy: you're really getting put through it, yeah? Janis: mhmm Janis: where is your care and attention now, honestly Jimmy: I've got struggles of my own, don't I? Janis: you mean I didn't make you feel better? Jimmy: 1. it's my job to make you feel better 2. I just wanna do that and I can't Janis: 1. **2nd or 3rd job though 2. then I'll go 'til you can 🤏 easier to miss you when you aren't right there Jimmy: 1. Depends how you're ranking 'em 2. 🤏 rude Janis: 1. 💍 to this one, I know 2. I meant it VERY nicely 😇 Jimmy: Where are you going then? Janis: 🤷 Janis: see where my 👣 take me, just quirky like that Jimmy: why are you trying to sabotage all my hard work? Jimmy: that ankle ain't meant to be taking you nowhere Jimmy: at least chuck an 👵 out of her 🦽 or nick a 🛒 off her put upon daughter/son/husband Janis: no 🏃💃 I promise Jimmy: 😒 Janis: trust me Janis: wouldn't do ANYTHING to prolong my bedrest Jimmy: I remember how much it did your head in Janis: some parts of it Jimmy: 🖋 me a list, it's not a bollocks ploy to get you to stay off your feet for a bit longer or owt, I'll TOTALLY read it Janis: only of the bits I didn't like Janis: gonna tell you what I did later Jimmy: Alright Janis: 👋 then Jimmy: 😘 Janis: [blows actual at him as she goes] Jimmy: [we're just watching her leave as per] Janis: earn those tips babe Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Imma hit up Bill for a 🖋 Jimmy: you should've said, I've had given you one Janis: know you've got a sharpie Janis: want a full feather and ink job Jimmy: bit rude of you to assume I don't have them in my pocket an' all Janis: you were very pleased to see me Jimmy: yeah Janis: 🤤 Jimmy: you can tell me the truth you know, I've worked out you're going dress shopping for the fake 👰💍🤵 Janis: LOVE to be that psychotic Janis: make 'em be my bridesmaids Jimmy: keep your 🥊 up in case you see that lass in there having a try on Janis: fight over the dress, the 🤵 Janis: definitely a romcom Jimmy: buy the one she 💀💀💀 Jimmy: * in Janis: hot Janis: she's short as fuck though, look ridiculous Jimmy: I'll wear it then Janis: hotter Janis: nurse outfit who? Jimmy: save that for the honeymoon, depending where we go depends what you manage to fall off but Janis: full-body cast is not condusive to a wedding LEWK or a good time Jimmy: would make you look fat Janis: well that's uncalled for Jimmy: soz they don't do slimline plaster casts, babes Janis: soz I said your arse was 🍑 Janis: you've taken that to heart, obvs Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: thicc or sensitive? Jimmy: both, obvs Janis: 👀🍵 Jimmy: why are you chucking pea soup at me? Janis: it's tea and I am sipping it, HUN Jimmy: you don't drink green tea, hun Janis: you can't take a compliment Jimmy: you ain't given me any Janis: umm Janis: are you forgetting sledgehammer Jimmy: I said that, you were trying to call me Kathy Bates, nowt complimentary there Janis: now you're just tearing other gals down Jimmy: she'll live Jimmy: if she still is Janis: probably not Janis: lucky cow Jimmy: 👻🥊 Janis: you know you're 🥵 Jimmy: that'll be the steam you like to go on about Janis: nah Jimmy: 👌 Janis: where's the thank you? Jimmy: that's not why you give compliments, dickhead Janis: it is Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: give me one at least Jimmy: I'm going to this party with you, that's a massive compliment Janis: you're going for you though Jimmy: I'm going so you can start your murder spree and I can watch Janis: oh 😳 Jimmy: the only kink of mine that lass'd ever unlock Janis: good Janis: she better not Jimmy: I'm not gonna dump you for her Janis: don't Janis: you have taste Janis: and a 🧠 Jimmy: you're the only fake girlfriend I want Janis: it works for me too Jimmy: good Janis: 👌 Jimmy: [enough time to have passed that while he's meant to working hard he's drawn a picture of her that's very complimentary because she wanted one and he obvs misses her] Janis: glad you didn't put that on any bitch's latte Janis: it's 🎨🖼 Jimmy: it'd take ages to do your hair, these #bossbabes have shit to do, Jasmine Janis: don't need 'em 😭 into it with 💚 Jimmy: only fun to make you jealous, obvs Janis: you've never made me jealous Jimmy: alright Janis: don't you sound unconvinced like that Jimmy: I won't when you convince me Janis: Easy Jimmy: go on Janis: why would I be jealous Janis: you don't wanna fuck her Jimmy: you know that now, you didn't when you were Janis: when do you think I was Jimmy: come on Janis: serious Janis: I told you on the bus what it was about Jimmy: alright Janis: don't be a dickhead Jimmy: I said alright Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: What? Janis: never mind Jimmy: stop trying to have a 🥊 with me Janis: why you casting aspersions on my good name Jimmy: Why are you making up words? 🤓 Janis: gaslighter Janis: deffo a word Jimmy: 💀👑's fave Janis: that's me Janis: 💁 Jimmy: 🤢 Janis: yep Janis: jade green, you Jimmy: @ her she'll be well chuffed Janis: not fun, is it Jimmy: being her fave? I wouldn't know Janis: @ing her Jimmy: Depends Janis: making her 😤 😠 😡 🤬 duh Janis: not 💚 Jimmy: same thing Janis: that's why you reckon I'm so jealous Jimmy: leave it out Janis: alright Jimmy: you're not in the same boat as her Janis: tell me about it Janis: 🛶 to her 🚤 Jimmy: dunno nowt about 🚤 soz Janis: I'm so 💔 Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: Ian's been a letdown in every sense Janis: put it on the list Janis: or was it Janis: either way Jimmy: might use my sharpie to write it on his head so all the lass' have been warned Janis: DOESN'T HAVE A YACHT Jimmy: can't even spell it Jimmy: #thickANDnorthern Janis: do a doodle, babes Jimmy: I've told you, I've only got the one muse Jimmy: and I've done my 🎨 for the day any road Janis: fair Jimmy: @ him with your commissions, bound to find you dead inspiring an' all Janis: be a bit weird Janis: not even seen a 📸 Jimmy: be better off using your 💭😍 Janis: thought as much Janis: not gonna be a 💀👑 daddy Jimmy: who is? He's 💰💪🏆🥇💰 that one Janis: we could all wish Jimmy: we all DO, mate 🤞💭💕 Janis: s'weird Jimmy: that she wants to fuck her dad? Yeah obvs Jimmy: even if my mum's legged it and got 💰💰 I won't be suggesting it to her 💌 Janis: well, yeah Janis: but DaddyIssues™ in general Janis: how many of them are actually about it, fucked Jimmy: don't worry it ain't a #kinkunlocked Jimmy: we can leave my shit parents out of it Jimmy: save money on the fake 👰💍🤵 while we're there Janis: mine an' all Jimmy: 👍 Janis: my mum is partial to a fake illegal wedding, so she'd stay away for the #vibe of it Jimmy: won't be offended, have that affect on mums, like Janis: 🥁 Jimmy: *🎻 Janis: 'course Janis: very concerned Jimmy: still be a better party than the one in a bit Janis: duh Janis: can't fake it better than we can Jimmy: they can't do nowt better, real or fake Jimmy: and we can't stop being #goals Janis: it's the fake happiest day of your life, how couldn't that beat hanging about real dickheads being real boring Jimmy: unless you've 🤰👶 before it then owt else is pointless by comparison Jimmy: gotta use all your fake happiness up on that Janis: not walking 'round with a pillow up my top for 9 months, tah Jimmy: SUCH a part timer, you Janis: of course you'd LOVE it Jimmy: how'd you work that out? Janis: you wouldn't let me do anything, it's the PERFECT time to get out the handcuffs Jimmy: SO soz I've stumbled on my calling and unlocked my ultimate kink, Janet! GOD Jimmy: no need to 🌧 on it Janis: just saying, WELL sure this is how accidents happen, 6/10 REAL babies come from these fake elaborate schemes Jimmy: it ain't my fault all you paddys are still using the pull out and pray method Janis: heathen Jimmy: it's the only thing my parents didn't fuck up, tah Jimmy: no need to get him involved in my sob story an' all Janis: 3 isn't a bad score Janis: unless you got more Jimmy: might be why she left, been ages if she just went to grab 🚬 or milk Janis: could be Janis: bit of a flair for the dramatic but then you'd make sense so Jimmy: dunno why she wouldn't have just had it first and left it with him an' all but Janis: as a baby being the wrong colour survivor, throw that out there Janis: giving her the credit of working it out before seeing it's face Jimmy: plot hole being that there ain't any black or asian people in the north Jimmy: they've got more sense Janis: know for a fact Bradford exists, seen the gritty dramas so, don't lie to me, boy Janis: not to mention the soul part of, you lot didn't know you had one before Jimmy: How far my mum did or didn't travel for her dick appointments is none of my business, girl Janis: not one for the family calendar, no Jimmy: far as the gossip goes, reckon it were a few streets one way or the other Jimmy: explain where all the 💰 were going if I had half siblings in every 🏠 along Jimmy: 🤞 my ex weren't one though, be a bit awkward Janis: awkward is one word for it Jimmy: at least I know her 👶 ain't mine Jimmy: could nick it though, when we need one, every dickhead knows all white people look alike Janis: and if she's your sister, just say your genes are that 💪 Janis: how old is it Jimmy: @ her that's something we might need to know Janis: just need to know how fake sad I need to be for the poor bitch Jimmy: it don't have 🦷 but neither does the dad so Jimmy: maybe his genes are that 💪 Janis: lord Jimmy: bit late to tell her about the pull out and pray thing Janis: helpful to console my sister when she next gets dumped Janis: least he had 🦷 babes Jimmy: chin up, Gracie Jimmy: weren't 👴 with no 💰 Jimmy: and you didn't 💍 soon as you turned 16 Janis: older lady Janis: interesting Jimmy: you reckon she did it to one up me? Janis: weird flex Jimmy: when I get Mr Lucas she'll be 💚 and 💔 Janis: you about that then Jimmy: what kind of question's that? Janis: idk Jimmy: you obvs wanna know something, go on Janis: I don't Jimmy: 👌 I'll shut up Janis: me too Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: yeah, party party Jimmy: 🍻 Janis: 🍺 🍻 🥂 🍷 🥃 🍸 🍹 🍾 Jimmy: that'd do Jimmy: sure you don't want 🍵 though? Janis: psh Janis: do you want to have a good time in the time we ain't faking it or do you wanna be wearing green in all the ways Jimmy: I'm trying to make sure you do, baby, nowt I wouldn't do to make you happy Jimmy: heard you LOVE 🍵 Janis: such a twat 😏 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: I miss you an' all Janis: yeah yeah Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: bored though, does that count? Jimmy: does it count towards what? Janis: missing you Jimmy: I don't care why you wanna see me, just that you do Janis: I wanna see you Janis: more Jimmy: come back Janis: it's not fair Jimmy: ? Janis: I wanna be distracting Janis: but I don't Jimmy: you are, it don't matter if you're here or not Janis: should matter, a bit Jimmy: Oi, you know what I mean Janis: yeah Janis: I reckon Jimmy: 🧠📖 Janis: can we Janis: go bed first Janis: just this one time, like, not gonna complain Jimmy: Why not? Jimmy: can do whatever you want Janis: but what do you want to do Jimmy: do I have to take back your 🧠📖🏆 or what? Janis: just Jimmy: I want you, dickhead Janis: good Jimmy: it will be when I'm not pissing about here serving ☕ for dickheads who aren't you Janis: ain't even gonna ask you to make me a 🍵 Janis: very serious Jimmy: I won't ask you to make me a 🥪 then, even though I'm SUCH a #lad Janis: fully expecting you to prove it in the other way so that's fine Jimmy: it ain't been long enough that I should need to prove owt but alright Janis: need/want, an argument we can have if you really fancy Jimmy: that's nerd flirting Janis: reckon it is Jimmy: we've FINALLY cracked it, babe Janis: she'll be SO proud Jimmy: do you reckon the 🏆 will be REAL gold? Janis: 🤞 Janis: then we can fuck on the 🚤 Jimmy: if you bother to learn chess when you're resting tomorrow she'll give you another one and then we can 💰💰 the yacht an' all Janis: 😍 Janis: it's a plan Jimmy: you gonna teach me after? Janis: 'course Janis: my fair lady Jimmy: I can't do the accent soz Janis: we'll work on it Jimmy: be a shit roleplay if not Janis: I don't want to be your rich daddy, FYI, so soz Jimmy: I'll live Janis: good Janis: plenty I do wanna do 'til you fuck off and 💀💀💀 Jimmy: do I get a preview or what? Janis: you know I've not punched her out for the dress yet but Janis: alright Jimmy: alright Janis: [some saucy selfie from a changing room] Jimmy: you just said you didn't want me to 💀💀💀 Janis: I said I'd miss you when you did Jimmy: I'll miss you when I do Janis: thendon't miss me now Jimmy: then come here Janis: alright Jimmy: you're so Janis: you Janis: it's your fault Jimmy: I can take the blame easier than I do a compliment Janis: I don't have to compliment you Janis: or say anything I just Janis: dunno Jimmy: I'm crap with words but that don't mean you have to shut up an' all Jimmy: we can't both be mute Janis: I'm not better though so Janis: maybe we can Jimmy: you're alright Janis: thanks Jimmy: I get how sarcastic that sounded but it weren't Janis: I know Janis: it's easier being fake Jimmy: is it? Janis: for what to say, like Jimmy: any bollocks will do Janis: you reckon any of them mean it Jimmy: probably shouldn't open up a Q&A about it Janis: obvs Janis: how fake is your relationship, lemme know gals Jimmy: start a twitter poll Janis: later Janis: got somewhere to be right now Jimmy: right Janis: 5 minutes Jimmy: Oi no 🏃 Janis: 10 then Jimmy: 👍 Janis: least I didn't get home Jimmy: Do you need to? Janis: never Jimmy: I don't have a dress you can borrow Janis: you might not have noticed Janis: but I was in a changing room in that picture Jimmy: yeah I was well bothered about your surroundings Janis: thought as much Janis: all about the aesthetic, as per Jimmy: what else are you thinking? Janis: you Jimmy: if that's a question I'm thinking how long 10 minutes is Janis: wasn't meant to be but Janis: same Jimmy: are you gonna hang about this time? Janis: depends Jimmy: go on Janis: if you want me to Jimmy: do you want to? Janis: I wanna be with you Jimmy: Then stay Janis: alright Jimmy: it's a bit quieter now, you won't have to 🥊👵 for access to the tip jar Janis: my main concern Janis: of course Jimmy: no need to be a mind reader to know that Janis: good thing you don't need to read my mind to do any of this Jimmy: there's nowt I'd need to read your mind for, I've got my own Lucas fantasies, tah Janis: now who can't share Jimmy: never said I could or would Janis: 😤 Janis: what's yours is mine, babes Jimmy: you wanting me for my 🧠 brain sounds fake Janis: wanting you to give me things is the REALEST Jimmy: the 🐅 is on order, my dear Janis: but where is 👴 Janis: oh yeah, ⛓ in your other bed Jimmy: how many beds do you reckon I've got? Jimmy: he'll be ⛓ next to you and you're welcome Janis: ⛓ to me? 🥺 Jimmy: Alright Janis: awh baby Janis: you're the best Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Janis: come prove it Jimmy: or you come here and we can go round the back so I don't have to prove it to anyone but you Janis: how could I refuse an offer like that Jimmy: you might do if having everyone 👀 is a #kinkunlocked Janis: I'll survive Jimmy: I'd be a shit nurse if I can't manage that Janis: never Janis: [show up] Jimmy: [thank god his manager isn't here cos we don't need to be getting in trouble today] Janis: [got time for that lads] Jimmy: [it's not a cockblock we need rn] Janis: [live ya lives tbh] Jimmy: [it's deserved] Janis: [gotta get to this shit party in a while] Jimmy: [we'll do our best to try and let you have some fun there too but yeah] Janis: [you know you will, gotta pretend to be put upon] Jimmy: [mmhmm] Janis: [meanwhile, chill whilst he finishes here] Jimmy: [try not to be too distracting by which I mean please be very distracting haha] Janis: [casually so obvious to everyone what you just did like] Jimmy: [once again devastated Mia isn't here to be devastated but we can't have everything] Janis: [sure one of your coworkers/if not multiple can be trusted to say something] Jimmy: [Pete would NEVER but there's bound to be loads of annoying barista girls who work there] Janis: [can't all be good boys] Jimmy: [shoutout to him for blatantly covering for Jimothy there because I doubt very much you were due another break sir] Janis: [you'd be so lucky, casual MVP tho] Jimmy: [we stan Pete and this lifelong friendship between you and your future children so] Janis: everyone 🔊 you, mute boy Jimmy: your fault, that Janis: 🤏 yours Jimmy: [IRL 😏] Janis: what's the blonde girl's name Jimmy: why? Janis: keeps 👀 at me funny Jimmy: maybe she heard you Janis: what you saying Janis: I sound funny? Jimmy: might be how she does 😍 Jimmy: not every dickhead's as good at flirting as me Janis: *nerd flirting Jimmy: hang on, I'll ask her if she knows how to play chess Janis: she'd 💘 that Janis: check out her name tag whilst you're there Jimmy: she'd love that it'd look like I was 👀 at her tits Janis: exactly Janis: just get express permission 'fore you 🖐 then it's fine Jimmy: fine for her Janis: who else? Jimmy: me if I were gonna bother Janis: 🙄 alright Jimmy: what are you 🙄 at me for? Janis: well I ain't looking at her tits, am I Janis: good one Jimmy: it won't be right any road Jimmy: none of the name tags are Janis: how do you not know Jimmy: What 'cause I'm BFFs with her? Janis: if I can remember however many dogs stupid names Janis: well unprofessional Jimmy: I can't remember yours, why would I bother to commit hers to memory? Janis: be more believable if she hadn't heard you Jimmy: it were you saying mine that she would've heard Jimmy: I've not said yours Janis: shut up Jimmy: bit late for it Janis: ugh Janis: [going to the toilets] Jimmy: 💕 Janis: do some work Jimmy: I'm a bit busy chatting to blonde barista #1 Jimmy: we're gonna be mates by the end of this shift or my name ain't Jamie Janis: see, yours is your real name Janis: full of shit, you Jimmy: her name's gotta be Reagan then Janis: 👍 Jimmy: is there owt else you wanna know? Janis: can find out the rest myself Jimmy: 👍 Janis: enjoy then Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: [flying out this bathroom] Jimmy: watch your ankle Janis: it's my ankle Jimmy: tah for clearing that up Jimmy: you wanna carry on with why you're getting mardy for the next thing? Janis: no Jimmy: what? Janis: just leave it Jimmy: no Janis: then I'll leave Janis: this is stupid Jimmy: stop being a dickhead Janis: why should I? Janis: you ain't Jimmy: I haven't done nowt Janis: then it's just how you are Janis: me and all Janis: chuck a #fated on it, whatever Jimmy: long as you chuck a load more #s after it to tell me what's up with you Janis: there's a word limit, surely Jimmy: that what's done it, is it? Janis: Sorry my life story ain't fitting in a tweet Jimmy: the fans an' all Janis: 💔 Jimmy: just Janis: don't matter Janis: gotta get shoes Jimmy: don't go Janis: don't need to stick around to have her judging me Jimmy: she's not asking you to, I am Janis: thanks for clearing that up Jimmy: alright, shut up Janis: seen not heard again Janis: 👌 Jimmy: I'm trying to talk to you Janis: what, then Jimmy: I'm sorry for being a twat Janis: you don't Janis: what you saying sorry for Jimmy: I dunno but I've done something obvs Janis: really sincere then Jimmy: I wouldn't have said it if it weren't Janis: how can you be sorry for something you don't know you did Janis: don't need your impression of a middle-aged bloke, tah Jimmy: 'cause I know it's made you go into a strop with me Janis: I ain't in a fucking strop, for starters Jimmy: call it what you want Janis: don't you call it a strop, twat Jimmy: okay Janis: I ain't gonna say sorry Janis: but it's fine Jimmy: I don't want you to Janis: good then, ain't it Jimmy: is it? Janis: don't it feel it? Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: one that's easy enough to answer Jimmy: one you know the answer to an' all Janis: why would I ask a question I knew the answer to? Jimmy: 'cause you don't wanna answer any Janis: I've answered all your questions what you on about Jimmy: then why don't I know what's upset you? Janis: you're just that oblivious, I reckon Janis: it's alright, upset's too strong a word Jimmy: so put another word to it Janis: you've mildly annoyed me Janis: most people do Jimmy: how? Janis: do we have to Janis: you've blanket statement apologized Jimmy: alright Janis: what you want me to stay for anyway? Jimmy: you said you wanted to Janis: I wanted to see you Janis: not have a cake and a coffee Jimmy: do what you want then Janis: obviously Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [out again lmao] Jimmy: [watching her go again but 😒 this time] Janis: [oh you two] Jimmy: [do you wanna do a skip to when he's done here?] Janis: [makes sense boo] Jimmy: We going to this party or what? Janis: that's the plan Jimmy: the plan were you'd meet me here Jimmy: where are you? Janis: had enough of that place for a lifetime Janis: 'round the corner, you know the gym? Janis: on the way so you come here Jimmy: I'll find it Janis: 👍 Jimmy: [show up like this isn't gonna be really awkward] Janis: [barely nodding a hello and walking on] Jimmy: [just gotta follow her cos you don't know where you're going] Janis: [hope this isn't a particularly long walk lol, especially in the heels you've bought despite your ankle 'cos gotta be that bitch] Jimmy: [we all know he's noticed them and is fuming but we're not saying a word obvs] Janis: [fun times lmao] Jimmy: [🚬 because if it's not a long walk it gives him an excuse to stay outside for a bit because we don't wanna do this rn or lowkey ever] Janis: [always so lowkey offended when he doesn't offer her one but likewise, what you gonna say] Jimmy: [it's his ultimate shade, feel it gal] Janis: [at least you secured another bottle so you can now not share that like if that's how we being] Jimmy: [I'm loling cos she'd be taller than him in heels] Janis: [tom cruise whomst] Jimmy: [at least she actually is tall and not just like 5 ft 4 but taller than you that'd be worse] Janis: [you're hot you don't need to be insecure boy] Jimmy: [we all know he isn't, well not about that anyway, the other issues are strong but] Janis: [neither of you has that going on lol] Jimmy: [literally going straight into the kitchen to see what booze there is the second we're there because we're not asking the bae to share with us we'd rather die] Janis: [just having to make a point of finding whoever's party this is and being chummy af] Jimmy: [take a bottle boy and get stuck into it because I doubt the CG closes that late so you're probably here early again] Janis: [giving him a hot sec before] Janis: right, are you gonna come at least look at me or what Jimmy: I don't need you to tell me how to do this Janis: you aren't doing it at all right now so Janis: how am I meant to know Jimmy: [comes in and kisses her in a really extra fashion to make a point] Janis: [SUCH an aggressive kiss, nbd people] Jimmy: [oh the vibe there is rn, excuse us everyone] Janis: [at least this can be a bigger, more actually happening party when it gets going but for rn] Jimmy: [for rn we're kissing and downing whatever this beverage is between said kisses and looking hot doing it] Janis: [when you wanna take this somewhere more private but you don't 'cos then you'll have to stop so just endlessly making out] Jimmy: [and you also don't wanna have to talk to her or look at her so it's easier to just keep kissing] Janis: [excuse you, the few randoms that are here already lol] Jimmy: [makes me die to imagine the scene] Janis: [assumedly it's like the close friends already hanging then you two just show up like ook] Jimmy: [with your PDA and intense vibe] Janis: [ahh the drama, eventually break off by going in his pocket and taking the essentials like bye with a wink] Jimmy: [at least you can take your turn being fake social with these party goers jimothy, use that barista charm again] Janis: [dragging this smoke out for as long as humanly possible] Jimmy: [comes out after it's been ages and gives her his jacket because that's the fake bf thing to do not because he's worried she's cold or anything caring like that] Janis: [surruptitiously looking around to see who/if anyone can see, so she knows how buzzing to be about this gesture 'tah' but snuggling into it all cute case anyone looking out the kitchen window] Jimmy: [just shrugging because we have that 😎 rep anyway so we don't have to worry] Janis: [hearing a loud ass group of people showing up out front and fully sighing like thank fuck] Jimmy: [taking a huge swig and heading back inside] Janis: [go talk to these new people, convince them to dance with you] Jimmy: [oh boy that's the last thing your sulk needs, we know you can't dance] Janis: [and that you don't want her to on that ankle in these heels] Jimmy: [he's so annoyed there's no faking he's not] Janis: [ahh the fake lover's tiff that ain't even] Jimmy: [your turn to strop off sir, go to the kitchen and do some shots with people in there] Janis: [when you've danced for a sufficient amount of time, go disappear into the loo or somewhere] Janis: how do you wanna play this Janis: is it like, loud makeup sex or something more subtle Jimmy: you heard me say do what you want Janis: this isn't about what either of us want is it Janis: what will look better, that's why we're here Jimmy: go with whatever you reckon'll look better then Janis: why so I can do all the work Janis: come on Jimmy: I'll do my bit when you tell me what that is Janis: yeah, then I'll do fuck all then, oh wait, that don't work Janis: got to be a team effort Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: jesus Janis: you wanna be here all night now is it Jimmy: you just said it ain't about that Jimmy: so it don't matter, does it? Janis: if you're having a good time, then I'll say I'm sick, knock yourself out Jimmy: wouldn't be #goals of me to not give a fuck that you're sick and keep the party going Janis: very lad Janis: they'll allow it if you can at least be bothered to do a decent goodbye Jimmy: I'll just go an' all, let 'em think we're together Janis: then we may as well do what we came here to do Janis: stop being awkward Jimmy: I've done nowt wrong, stop having a go at me like I'm fucking this up Janis: all I'm trying to do is work out the next move Janis: you're being uncooperative about it Jimmy: yeah it's me who keeps pissing off, not you Janis: I was dancing in the main room Janis: I've gone to the toilet Jimmy: 👌 Janis: for fuck's sake Janis: fine Janis: I'll go back until you're ready to do something about it Jimmy: you do something about it Janis: I'm fucking trying to Janis: You want me to do something so you can complain I did it wrong after Janis: if it don't work for us both, there's no point Jimmy: Why the fuck would I want that? Janis: so you can be pissy and have a go at me Jimmy: I don't wanna fight with you Janis: then let's stop fighting on this and get it sorted Janis: why won't you if not that Jimmy: I don't know what to do, alright? Janis: alright Janis: we don't need to overcomplicate it Janis: we can leave it at routine socials, she clearly don't give a fuck anyway, does she Janis: or your new BFF Jimmy: who am I BFF's with now? Janis: the blonde girl, you said Janis: I did not know how serious the shamelessness issue was, that was an oversight on my behalf, like Jimmy: what are you on about? Janis: I'm saying Janis: you could be fake married, and they'd find it hard to give a shit Jimmy: are you saying you don't wanna do this any more an' all or what? Janis: and all Janis: right Janis: when did you decide that Jimmy: I haven't decided nowt I'm asking if you're in or out or if you're just whinging about what we already know about lasses Janis: you wouldn't say it like that if you hadn't Janis: and I was saying that we might need to rethink some shit so it works better but that don't matter now Jimmy: I just did say it like that and I also just said I ain't decided nowt Jimmy: come on Jimmy: it were my idea and it's good Janis: if you reckon it's so good play the game Jimmy: fuck routine socials then Jimmy: if they're gonna be shameless, I'll be shameless Janis: alright Janis: sounds promising Jimmy: it would be if I knew what to actually do Janis: let's think Janis: obviously the #goals best boyfriend ever cutesy shit doesn't work on them all Janis: so we need to show 'em the opposite without you giving it to them, like they reckon you wanna Jimmy: the opposite being what? me playing myself? Janis: basically Janis: so, aside from ignoring them, how would you wanna respond Jimmy: I'd tell 'em to leave me the fuck alone, obvs Janis: so let's do that Janis: literally do that, not a social @ everyone Janis: they can have a 📸 each, they ain't ashamed to be direct so, worth a shot Jimmy: what about you? Jimmy: 💀👑 ain't gonna be impressed or 💔 by this Janis: the goals shit is, as she's incapable of feeling human emotions Janis: fake we're doing some cute thing this weekend, then we're off the hook for any parties for a couple of days Jimmy: Alright Janis: no need to be together actually, plenty we can fake from a distance, yeah Jimmy: easily Janis: that's alright, then Janis: come here so we can take the shots Jimmy: [does] Janis: [letting him in the bathroom, probably to the annoyance of people waiting, not soz 'can be more of a fuck you if we ain't got an audience' shrugging like you got to explain everything 'cos awkward] Jimmy: [I hope there was a line of people waiting lol] Janis: [almost certainly] Jimmy: [just looking at her because you have not dared to prior to this] Janis: [managing to look back like hey] Jimmy: [sitting on the edge of the bath like you've got all the time in the world to piss about in here because what a day and intense convo we've had] Janis: [sitting on the floor with your back to the door 'there's some old photos on my phone, that we never used, I think' you know you've not deleted 'em 'if you don't want to take more' as per talking quietly so people don't overhear] Jimmy: [comes over and takes her heels off because we're angry and worried about them in equal measure and holding his hand out for her phone like you need to scrutinise if these photos are good enough and you're not just stalling for longer] Janis: [shooketh but just handing the phone over, we all know they the ones from when it went too far and hard to post which would make them perfect for now but just hoping he's like no no lol] Jimmy: [does not remotely need to sit down ridiculously close to her and look at these so she can also see and relive the #mems but does] Janis: [just touching where he used to have a big lovebite like not there now, as if they're likely to notice] Jimmy: [does the same to her but doesn't stop at just touching it because why would he when he can just put it back there, duh] , Janis: [when the noise comes out 'cos frustration is too high rn] Jimmy: [spurring him on to keep going as if she needs any more or we need any excuses, but we're going for quality not quantity for once here because just really want her to feel it] Janis: [getting out, barely between the sounds you're making and the ones you're holding back meaning your breathing is ragged af, 'you know what we could do...'] Jimmy: [just looking at her like ? because we know you can't speak rn boy and we know exactly what happened when you tried to because there's no holding anything back with you] Janis: ['video message her' just looking at him so he knows you're serious 'party girl, that is' 'cos blonde barista was not being that extra and we don't need to involve her] Jimmy: [when he would have imagined a million possible things she could've said then but never that but gets her phone from wherever it got dropped when they were having that moment so she knows he's on board] Janis: ['reckon you can make it look accidental whilst making sure she sees or are we being that shameless that we just do it without the pretense?'] Jimmy: ['I can make it look and sound however you want' because could and also how saucy did you wanna make that proposition boy] Janis: ['just-' repositioning herself to be on top of him as per 'make it look and sound like you've got everything you want, however you do it'] Jimmy: [thank god that whatever feelsy thing he was gonna say about her being everything he wants won't come out because SUCH a noise does whenever she gets on his lap because it's his shameless fave] Janis: ['like that' and we happy 'cos can't be confused about how into this we both are at least] Jimmy: [also Harry has never given you a sound like that, god bless you Jimothy, and bless you both because this will look accidental for the same reason that you end up out of frame during photoshoots, you're too into each other to care] Janis: [or made you make any kinda sound, no blessing for you boy, like truly, enjoy the brief snapshot you gonna get gal] Jimmy: [I like that though cos you don't deserve to think you matter or got under Janis' skin party gal but we are gonna enjoy the excuse to say things we wouldn't normally like how beautiful the bae is and shit like that because we can pretend it's just for the benefit of] Janis: [saying his name way more than we did earlier for that fuck you moment] Jimmy: [still not saying yours yet gal but don't worry it'll be worth the wait] Janis: [don't even care that you're not calling that girl, just need to get it out there lol] Jimmy: [I respect it] Janis: [the people outside this door must be livid] Jimmy: [I vote he should've broke her dress in some way, purely accidentally because that'll be a mood when they do have to go back to this party and it makes me lol cos you can't return that now if you wanted to] Janis: [100% down] Jimmy: [didn't notice at the time obvs but then it's like 😳 so soz gal] Janis: [style it out babe] Jimmy: [we know she won't care and she's got his jacket if needs but he'll be worried how he do] Janis: nice one, mate Jimmy: weren't EXACTLY what you were saying but close enough Janis: [😏] Janis: was there, you don't need to tell me Jimmy: I get it, too soon for reminders Jimmy: have your recovery time then Janis: fuck off with your massive head and find us some drink Jimmy: [does go and forage because kind of bf he is but we're looking back at the dress worriedly and doing an adorable worried lip bite because 😳 did not mean to be that extra] ] Janis: you're cute Janis: not my favourite Jimmy: bigheads are your type, I know Jimmy: but I've fucked the possibility of body shots 💔 the 👗'd be off you after the one Janis: ha Janis: you think you know Janis: and lads might disagrre but reckon you can see enough as is Jimmy: I do know, just heard it, along with every dickhead waiting to have a piss Janis: you act like you were silent Jimmy: not that decent of an actor, am I? Jimmy: and silent films were ages ago Janis: I can feel what's real and what ain't Janis: neither of us need to pretend we can't Janis: like I've never pretended I don't really like fucking you Jimmy: UGH fine, I'll take that compliment Jimmy: you can stop trying to give 'em out now, my dear 😏 Janis: it's you who's trying to take the piss, dickhead Jimmy: bit rude how you reckon it's not #effortless Janis: how could it be when your natural state is 🤓😍 Jimmy: *😎 Janis: sure babes Jimmy: [brings her a drink of some description] Janis: [cheersing and going in] Jimmy: [just looking at her cos we can now we're not fuming] Janis: [definitely left our shoes in that bathroom] Jimmy: [boy you've really ruined her lewk in all the ways, she's not made of money in the reboot how dare you] Janis: [she could've stole them it's fine lol, doing a thumbs up at him like ?] Jimmy: [I hope you did gal, just shamelessly touching her hair like lemme fix that for you as if that's remotely why you were staring at her] Janis: [a look like really? 😏 'cos least of the issues you've caused here] Jimmy: [shrug because we can't think about the dress issue because we're embarrassed so gotta act like we're not] Janis: [checking the phone to see if party girl has done anything but she must just be crying about it so 👍] Jimmy: [getting close to her like you wanna check the phone too but 1.you have your own 2. she told you it's fine 3. you don't actually care that much] Janis: ['happy now, baby?' gotta ask him in an extra way 'cos back in the party but also genuinely asking] Jimmy: [hugging her because it's a fake boyfriend yes answer for everyone but as he does it writes 'you?' on her with a fingertip unbeknownst anyone else because obvs wants to know if she's happy before he knows what mood to be in] Janis: ['how could I not be?' in his ear 'cos hugs him back obvs] Jimmy: [picks her up because that tricksy ankle could be a reason and finding her somewhere to sit in the midst of this party like excuse me everyone] Janis: [obviously makes him sit with her, imagining an arm chair so you're both kinda curled up] Jimmy: [we're snuggling] Janis: [just ignoring everyone at this party how we meant to] Jimmy: [live your best lives lads you've had a way more intense time than I envisioned when we started this convo so] Janis: [hohaha love it] Jimmy: [we'll let you have a chill time now it's fine] Janis: [or will we haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa] Jimmy: [yes gal or Jimothy'll have no secrets left] Janis: [poo] Jimmy: [well that's just rude] Janis: [jkjk]