#c: john constantine

[charlietheepicwriter7]

H̵̩͋o̸̹͒l̶̢̑ď̸͕ ̵͔͛T̴̲̄h̶͙͋e̶̤͘m̵͍̋ ̷͓̈D̵̯͛o̶̡̅w̵̖̃n̵͝ͅ

Get in the Water AU: Original Post Ruthlessness

Ghosts were physiologically different from humans.

It was something Tucker and Sam didn't understand. They saw Phantom as "Danny with superpowers," not as a fundamentally different being.

Sometimes, Danny didn't understand either.

But his parents did. Utter disregard for the scientific method aside, the Fentons were the ones who learned how inhuman ghosts were: "Just emotions and electricity imprinted on ectoplasm, Danno, nothing to be scared of!" Snapshots of people at the moments of their deaths. The past and the present, incapable of contemplating the future.

And with his duality, Danny struggled to understand either of his halves.

As a human, Danny could move past his nightmare of a childhood, compartmentalize and think to the future, when he was fully healed and his past couldn't hurt him anymore. So when Dora, first elected Queen of the Infinite Realms - long may she reign - asked him to collect all the resurrected humans for a health check and assessment... when he'd noticed Damian Al Ghul-Wanye on the list... He'd thought up a little prank to pull on his long-lost brother. A cruel one, perhaps, but nothing harmful.

As a ghost, Danny couldn't move on. He could never forget that Sam led him to his death, that his parents negligence allowed for the stage to be set, that the lab they loved so much held both his home and his grave. Just as Danny would always be that fourteen year old, caught in that moments, he was still the 7-year-old Danyal Al Ghul who trusted his brother not to hurt him... and ended up poisoned.

Phantom wanted his murderer to suffer.

And Danny, much to his shame, had allowed it.

For a few weeks, Danny managed to ignore it. He'd gone after Damian first, so there were tons of resurrected on his list. He started with the more extreme cases first, like Constantine, but soon enough the next on his list was Ra's Al Ghul.

He'd asked Queen Dora to send someone else, anyone else. That he wouldn't be able to control himself if he saw his grandfather again. Instead of relieving him, she'd given him a knowing look and told him to follow his core's desire.

She never mentions it, but Queen Dora had been a murder victim too.

There was no showmanship, no dramatic reveal. Just Danyal, his grandfather, and the Pit.

Despite all Ra's Al Ghul's power, he was no match for a spirit hellbent on drowning him.

That's what Danny did to his grandfather. He'd thrown up afterwards, once he was human before. But the ghost in him relished the act; he could still feel Grandfather's throat under his hands, pulse fluttering against his palm as Danyal held him down. He struggled and shook as the Lazarus waters filled his lungs, burning away healthy tissue. Fingernails morphed into claws that sliced through the tender skin, blood leaking into the water, and water leaking into the blood.

It took a long time for Grandfather to die. Deep within Danny, next to his core, he knew it was what was deserved. That the murdered finally had justice. He was content with never speaking of it again, a secret between him and the waters.

And now it was going to happen again as Phantom's impulsive mind overtook Fenton's tactical one.

He'd known Damian was looking into him. Knew another confrontation was inevitable, what with two more of his siblings needing their health checks. But as Danny was stalking their mother, searching for the best way to abduct her (she was still his mother after all, he didn't want her dead... yet), Damian and his family confronted her.

Relief washed over him as only a normal amount of rage bubbled up at the sight of Damian, instead of the overwhelming, all-consuming fury he'd felt. Danny laughed at their arguments, at Constantine thinking he could put a living ghost to rest, at his siblings-unmet and his father-unknown, until...

Damian confessed.

His murderer confessed, yet as he continued to speak, to explain, the fury rose in him again. Because it wasn't a betrayal. He'd always thought Damian betrayed him, but no.

Through his own ruthlessness, Damian gave him the only mercy he could manage. And there was only one thing Danyal wanted now.

""̸̲̈́T̶͘͜ä̵̢li̸a̶̬̓ ̴̬̐A̵̛̪l̸̲̚ G̸̛̫h̶̺̏u̸̢̚l!̴̳̈́ D̷̩̕o̸͛ͅ ̶̝̍y̴͙͘o̵̙͐u̵̬̓ ̴̤͂k̸̡̑n̵͓̈́o̷͈͝w̷͖͂ ̷͓͑w̴̧̄h̵̲͌o̴̮̔ ̵̼́Ị̷̂ ̷̣̽a̵̳̓m̷̩̓?̷̝͒"̷̧͠"

It was her fault. She was the reason why he was dead, nothing more than a coward who couldn't go against her father for the sake of her children. She abused them, she struck his brother, it was her fault-

"Danyal," she answered. And Danyal grinned, fanged and sharp.

He approached, the waters of his birthplace lovingly brushing against his legs, consoling him the only way they knew how. They whispered revenge into his ears, madness into his heart, just as they had when he'd confronted Damian, when he murdered Grandfather. "You have much to answer for, daughter of the Demon Head," he said, voice echoing around the room.

Unrestrained greed filled her gaze. "You've returned to me, my son."

Danyal laughed, brutal and rough. "I've returned for you, Mother," he corrected. "Don't think this reunion will end well for you."

"You mean to hurt me, Danyal?" she crooned, all false hurt and fake love.

"I mean to kill you."

Genuine anger flashed across her face. "My son would never-"

"Y̵̺̆o̴̩͂u̸͉̕r̷̰͝ ̴͔͝s̵̡̉o̶̡̎ň̵̞ ̶̗̈i̴̘̍s ̸̦̐d̴̯̚ê̶͚á̶̩d̷̻̈́," he snarled, and Damian flinched. He was too close to Talia. "You wanted me dead... for being weak. For having mercy." He stared up at his mother's shocked form. "I killed Grandfather. Tell me, is that ruthless enough for you, Umi?" Talia flinched with just her eyes. He hadn't been allowed to call her Umi since he was three.

Their father stepped forward, the naked distress on his face contrasting with his battle armor. "Danyal," he plead. "You don't have to do this-"

"Stay out of this, Baba." The man's breathing hitched. "This doesn't involve you."

Constantine tried to talk him down next. "It does, kid. A Siren on your level can't stay around for long. It's time for you to rest."

Danyal threw back his head and laughed. "As if you could stop me, exorcist." No more delays. It's time for action. "I will drown you all before you can."

Danyal lunged. And despite his mother's decades as an assassin, she couldn't kill what was already dead.

He held her down by the throat, the attacks from Damian's family bouncing off him. "This is mercy," he cooed as she desperately clawed at his hands. "For me. For Damian. For everyone you will try to hurt in the future. Ruthlessness is the only mercy I can give you now." Her face turned red as she gaped for air and Danyal-

Was thrown back into the water.

Reorienting himself, he found John Constantine standing over his mother, protecting her from him. "̷̪͂E̷̺͐x̷̝̑ŏ̶̺ȑ̴͉c̷̟͘i̸͔̋s̶̮̀t̶̯͝."

And the Pit's water began to rise.

#dc x dp #dp x dc #dpxdc #dcxdp #c: danny fenton #c: danyal al ghul #c: ra's al ghul #c: talia al ghul #c: damian wayne #c: john constantine #Danny is just using the lazarus pits as portals to the Ghost Zone without realizing they're poisoning him with Pit Madness #the pits are sentient and love him #the pits also love jason that's why he has permanent pit madness #with the amount of murder victims dumped in there it really cares about fellow victims the most #anyway with the circe saga out i thought of a sequel to Storm so that'll be fun #get in the water au

[rollforjackass]

i do love how unapologetically gross nbc constantine and legends both let constantine be. like yeah he's licking the walls right now, it be like that sometimes. he is, in fact, drinking odd shit that people should not drink. that is definitely someone else's bodily fluids he's smearing on his face rn, thanks for noticing!

#like his origins are a comic series where he pissed on the king of the vampires' head & people injected bugs. he's gross #80s occult is gross and weird and i love that they didn't make it ENTIRELY shiny magic spells bright lights big tricks #he's a guy who loves the classics. just so happens the classics are eating dirt and lying down in nasty alleyways #could they have done more? M U C H #but what they did was at least noticeable. he's a fucking weird guy i love him for that #hellblazer #john constantine #nbc constantine #oxly hollers

[badcatrobot]

Im so mentally unstable when it comes to this man

#mattryanactor #hellblazer #john constantine #comics #dc fandome #matt ryans constantine #johnny c #john constantine made me straight #constantine on legends

[c-nstantine]

Do you think black!batsis would ever have a child? And if so how do you think that would go over with the family (this is just me asking you to pretty pls write batsis with a baby 🥴)

Listen batsis would be an amazing mom. Okay, she would have that baby in the most beautiful fabrics imaginable. Not to mention, she was around for most of her siblings being raised so she would probably be great with kids. Also, Alfred would be there to witness his great-grandchild's achievements.

Now for how the family would react, it would depend on who the baby is with. I have scenarios for this!

If it's Roy Harper's Baby:

“Roy, my dad’s not gonna kill you,” Y/N tried to reassure her boyfriend as she placed a hand on her swelling stomach.

“Lies,“Roy said as he stood behind his girlfriend. He was sure he would die today. 

“We have something to tell you guys,“ Y/N began,”I’m pregnant,“

“With a baby?“ Damian asked. 

“No, dipshit. She’s pregnant with a whale,“

“There’s no need to call your brother names. Y/N, I’m happy for you,“

“See, and you thought he was going to kill you,“ Y/N whispered in Roy’s ear.

“Roy, let’s talk outside,“

“I spoke to soon,“

If it's Wally West's Baby:

"We're pregnant!"

"A speedster?"

"Hi, Mr. Wayne. Have I told you how your shirt really compliments your eyes,"

"Don't suck up to me now Wallace,"

If it's John Constantine's Baby:

“No,“

“What do you mean 'no'?“

"A baby?With him?"

"It's great, batsy, isn't it?"

"It's swell. Y/N, I'm happy for you. John, I will continue to tolerate you"

"This is cute and all but I just wanna know if the baby will be a magic baby or not"

#x black!reader #black!reader #x black reader #bruce wayne #black!batsis #black reader #john constantine x black!reader #wally west x black!batsis #wally west x black!reader #wally west x batsis #roy harper x batsis #c-nstantine

[ghcstpyre]

constantine x librarian!reader. reader works in the restricted/underground part of the library, used only by exorcists. there aren't many people who come by to use your section - exorcists (real exorcists) aren't exactly common to find, but you see john every now and again.

he never says much and only ever talks business, but you still can't help your lingering gaze on him as he peruses the isles or sits down to read. your bottom lip always gets caught between your teeth when you watch him smooth open the pages of the bigger books you house, his large hands moving slowly over the pages to avoid damaging them if they're particularly old.

you're pretty sure john caught you eyeing him up a couple of times. you hoped he hadn't, but the little upwards quirk of his lips when he bid you farewell said otherwise.

at least he never seemed put off by it.

#john constantine x reader #john constantine #keanuverse #keanu reeves #c: john constantine. #w: imagine.

[sandmancentral]

Countdown to Netflix’s The Sandman Favorite (vol. 1-3) issues (as voted by our followers) 8 → #3 Dream a Little Dream of Me (16,9%)

#comicedit #dcedit #thesandmanedit #the sandman #top10issues* #comic #c: the sandman #rachel moodie #john constantine #dream of the endless #* #by: davi

[harusuki]

TIMESTAMP ROULETTE the sandman episode 3: dream a little dream of me

#the sandman #sandman netflix #sandmanedit #netflixedit #tvedit #dream of the endless #morpheus #johanna constantine #matthew the raven #john dee #tv: the sandman #c: morpheus #c: johanna constantine #c: john dee #c: matthew the raven #tsr: sandman

[jhirowolf]

So I wanna talk Constantine Distorted Illusions some more, not just about it's editorial language mistake. Specificaly about how Kami Garcia changing the magic system and Johns living situation changes how we look at John as a person.

Because Hellblazer John is kinda permanently in survival mode, as somebody who went through lotsa trauma since leaving the womb, he had to learn to build defence systems and survival skills. He was failed by his father and by the system as a mentaly ill queer kid from the 50s/60s that ended up homeless in his teens, so alot of his cynical and selfish behavior makes sense when looking at John as a survivor.

The way magic works in his story also supports looking at John as somebody who worked hard to get where he is.

Here comes Distorted Illusions....oh boy.

So firstly Johns mother is alive, his father is absent rather than abusive, and there's a supprtive and seemingly nice step-father. Secondly he lives in a middle-class (or even upper class) household. Has been born with some of the strongest natural talents for magic thanks to his dads blood, making magic something you have to be born a special way to be able to use rather than something you learn through hard work, his step-dad is another very powerful magician, and John is given support and oputurnities to train and learn more magic by his family and family friends, exept he doesn't take them and shoots them down. So already John comes from somebody who's an asshole as a defense mechanism to somebody who's an asshole basicly for the sake of it.

Next is my biggest problem with John in the story, and that's how vengeful he is, everytime somebody doesn't let him do whatever he wants or he experiences consequences for his actions, rather than learn he does something spiteful (like stealing a magic book from the lady that was supposed to teach him, or trying to curse the guy that blacklisted them from every club in the city for burning up his equipment).

So really John went from a lower class survivor that worked for everything and built a hard shell of cynicism and assholery to a middle to upper-class entitled asshole who needed an ego check. While John being a punk in his teens and young adulthood was a reflection of his mindset on life, world and the system that failed him and his mates, DI John is not much more than a poser who likes the aestethic and sound but holds none of the soul and values of punk.

It also changes how we look at the "well-off gentleman" look of John.

His blue suit (and originaly white gloves) is like a smart facade of a smart and elegant man when he's actualy a street rat, it helps the con-man part of John.

Meanwhile DIs Johns "classic" outfit is like a more mellowed out version of his classic outfit, where while both show off his middle-class status and money, his final outfit is more "normal" and "smarter" rather than the pretty obviously artoficialy raggety but still expensive clothes he wore before.

#dc comics #dc #vertigo #hellblazer #john constantine #c #onstantine #dc constantine #constantine distorted illusions #one is a true punk and the other an aestethic poser #it's like the movement personification vs a pinterest aestethic board #overall Distorted Illusions misses who John is as a character and that's the main failing of the book and story

[theo3459]

STOP JOHN CONSTANTINE SHOULD GO ON A DATE WITH ME NOW

#HES SOOOOO #WOWOWWWWWOWOWOOWOW #EUEEIEPTPFIRKFKKTMKYKTMTM #HES AO FINE WHAT A BEUTIUFL MAN #EOEKDJTKGMKHKRK #INSANE I AM INSANE #he’s literally manny Pardo but better and also British 😰 #i’m sorry mr pardo (i say as i’m buried deep in john constantine’s arms) #evan has a crush on Him #HEHEHEHE #john c #manny

[charlietheepicwriter7]

R̸̜̈́u̵̟͘t̶̺̓ḧ̵͇l̷̟̋ē̶̘s̵̨̎s̵̩͒ṋ̵̋e̵͙̐s̵̡̈́ś̸͙

Get in the Water prompt Storm alternate version Animatic Fanart

There was a spell, Constantine had explained after his own trip to the afterlife. Something to contain Danyal's soul long enough to resolve his unfinished business, to keep him still and away from the influences of his fellow dead. And if that didn't work, Constantine continued, then there were ways to force a spirit to rest. It was better for a ghost to move on by themselves, but if there was no other choice...

Damian hoped Danyal would choose to rest on his own. That he'd let him explain, finally.

Danyal had been weak. Strong in a fight, but too weak to kill, and that infuriated Damian. But he was scared more than he was angry. Because that weakness would get Danyal killed, could get Damian killed, could get the League killed. Even the newest recruits had a stronger desire to kill than Danyal.

He was the weakest link in the chain. And while their mother had taught them to be ruthless, Danyal had remained limp with mercy.

They needed Danyal's body. It would be Danyal's tie to the earth, Constantine explained as he joined them on the Batplane. The souls of the dead don't often linger on the mortal plain. The magician had speculated that the only reason Danyal had managed to manifest in the waters below Gotham was because of Damian's presence, but his remains would keep him stable this side of life for however long it took to heal his soul.

But was that even possible?

"I don't know, kid," Constantine admitted during the plane ride. "Wish I had a better answer for you, but... Your brother is a siren now. And from the sound of it? He really wants you dead."

"Then why didn't he kill me?" Damian argued. "He had hours to do it... or minutes..." The time he spent in that green world felt longer than the ten minutes Father couldn't find him, but... "He had me in his grasp and let me go. Doesn't that mean he didn't want to-"

"Have you ever heard the phrase 'Playing with your food?'" Constantine asked instead. "Sirens aren't known for letting their prey go. If we're out here, its because he wants us here."

They--Damian, Father, Constantine, Grayson, and Todd--landed in Nanda Parbat after a few hours. There was a crypt inside for members of the Al Ghul family who didn't use the Lazarus Pits. It was there Danyal's body was entombed. They would have to steal it.

And it was unfortunate that Constantine got them caught within five minutes of entry.

Damian glared daggers at the man as they were led towards the Lazarus Pit. Constantine shrugged. "What? I don't want assassins chasing after me because of some light grave robbing! Besides, we need to explain the situation anyway-"

"And what, precisely, needs to be explained?" asked a woman from inside the chamber. The heroes were pushed inside, only to see Talia Al Ghul standing where her father should have been. The Lazarus Pit hissed and boiled behind her, casing the cave in a ghoulish light.

Damian could hear laughing.

Father stepped forward. "Talia. Where's Ra's?" Grandfather was the biggest threat to their plan succeeding.

Mother... looked away, unable to meet his gaze. "I do not know. At the present moment... the Demon Head is missing."

You could hear a pin drop. "What do you mean?" Father demanded.

"It's as I said; he is missing. Yesterday, he was alone in the Pit, and hours later, no one could find him." She glanced behind her, at the waters, before looking back at them. "I had assumed he'd left to care for the League's interests. Now-" She tilted her chin up, looking down at them. "What exactly do you need to explain? What is so important that you break into my home to tell me?"

Stepping forward, Constantine explained. Mother looked grim as he spoke of Danyal, but did not interrupt. "We want to put his soul to rest. But for that, we need access to his body-"

"You dare ask for such a thing?" Mother snarled. "As if I even believe you. My son would never-"

"Your son?" Grayson snapped. "From the looks of it, you didn't care for either of your children!"

As the group descended into an argument, Damian heard laughter again, Danyal's high pitched giggle harmonizing with something deep and bone shaking. The Lazarus Pits loomed over him, beckoning him, whispering. Damian took a step towards it as his mother said, "I don't even have his body!"

"What?" Damian snapped at his mother, focusing back on the conversation. "But the crypts-"

"After your brother's murder, the Demon Head ordered for the culprit to be found. But they were never discovered." Because the culprit was Damian, he knew, and no one else ever learned about it. "I wanted to place him in the Pits immediately, but I was ordered to stay my hand until the murderer was caught. But..."

"He never was," Damian finished for her. "And then you put Danyal into the waters?"

"Yes." She closed her eyes. "And he never came back out. Even if it was too late, he'd still come back as the undead, but he never rose from the waters."

"Then this is entirely my fault."

"Finally," Danyal whispered in his ear, breath chilling his skin.

Damian did his best to ignore it. Danyal was haunting him. Danyal needed to be put to rest. If they couldn't do it Constantine's way, then they had to put him to rest another way.

Grayson looked troubled. "Robin, it's not your fault-"

"I'm the one who killed him," Damian confessed. Everyone stared at him. Grayson, horrified; Mother, blank; Father, betrayed. Damian continued, "I overheard you and Grandfather arranging a fight to the death, and I knew who would win. I couldn't... I couldn't allow Danyal to die without the Al Ghul name, in disgrace as the one who wasn't good enough. So I killed him, assassinated him, and now he's haunting me for revenge." Damian looked at the Pit. "So go ahead, Danyal."

"Damian, what are you saying?"

"Danyal wants revenge on the person who killed him; I'm giving it to him." Todd was staring at him. Damian might not be able to see past his helmet, but he could feel the respect coming off the man. "Danyal, I know you're here. Please come out." If he focused long enough, he could just making out wheezing breaths. "I can hear you, please-"

Father grabbed Damian by the shoulders. "Damian, listen to what you're saying! You're offering your life up for nothing!"

"B's right." Grayson placed a hand on his shoulder. "There's got to be another way. You don't have to do this!"

"Yes I do!" Damian ripped himself out of Nightwing's grip. "I'm the one who killed him! I'm the one at fault! My brother is suffering because of me, I have to save him-"

Stepping between them all, Mother slapped him across the face.

And the Pit's whispers fell silent.

Damian stared up at his mother, cheek throbbing with pain. She glared back. "Cease this behavior at once," she snapped. "There's no need to get so worked up over a ghost, of all thing-"

"T̴̯̃al̵̬͂ị̴̿a̵̮̕ ̵̼͐A̴̗̕l̷͈̆ ̴͚̓G̵͎̀h̷̻͒u̶̜͋l̴͍̀."

This time, everyone could hear Danyal's voice, filled with static and corrupted. Damian swallowed as his dead brother continued,

"D̸͕͠o̶̪̅ ̸͍̆ỹ̵̗ö̸̲ũ̸̧ ̶͖̚k̶̻͊ņ̸͐o̸̹̚ẘ̸̙w̷̛̹ḧ̸͚́o̷͉̅ ̵͈̑I̶̪̽ á̵̞m̶͙̂?̸̻͂"

The cavern shook as the Lazarus Pit bucked, a wave forming in the absolute center of the water. The wave rose, pillaring up above their head and brushing the ceiling. A cold wind rushed through the room and blew out the torches on the walls, leaving only embers and the occasional florescent behind. Damian braced himself for the waters to rush out and flood.

Instead, the water fell back into the pit, like it had never risen in the first place, leaving behind a lone figure in its wake.

"Danyal," Mother whispered.

And the dead boy glared back at her with pure contempt.

#dc x dp #dp x dc #dcxdp #dpxdc #so i tried to find a permanent base for the league of assassins #and discovered that the Nanda Parbat I keep seeing is only a League base in the Arrowverse? #but it's the only one I could find so here it is! #c: damian wayne #c: john constantine #c: bruce wayne #c: talia al ghul #c: danny fenton #c: danyal al ghul #get in the water au #by the way danny straight up murdered Ra's #if anyone cares #just drowned his wrinkly old ass #Sorry if Talia and Bruce seem weird #I don't know how to write them #there will probably be more but this was already over a thousand words so whatev

[rollforjackass]

IVE NEVER LAUGHED HARDER IN MY LIFE

#NOT THIS #the definition of ‘we’ve got preacher comics at home’ #they better make some C of E jokes it’s the perfect tee-up #also this cover is SICK #eating with BOTH HANDS #john constantine #hellblazer #oxly hollers

[badcatrobot]

I'm supposed to be normal?? When this photo exists?!

#constantine on legends #mattryanactor #john constantine #hellblazer #dc fandome #comics #constantine #matt ryans constantine #matt ryan actor #matt ryan #johnny c #john constantine made me straight #im losing my shit #over this man

[c-nstantine]

Jason Todd (10/7)

Mafia! Jason Todd shows his subordinates how much he deeply cares for his girlfriend.

Warnings/Kinks: Exhibitionism and Praise Kink

John Constantine (10/14)

John has a spell that goes completely haywire but not in a bad way.

Warnings/Kinks: Sex Pollen but with magic, Cream Pie

John Price (10/21)

Captain Price's wife wants a baby and what his wife wants, she gets.

Warnings/Kinks: Breeding, Cream Pie, Cock Warming, Free Use

Clark Kent (10/28)

Clark reads his girlfriend's Tumblr and finds out her dark little secrets.

Warnings/Kinks: Stomach Bulge, Spanking, Size Difference, Recording,

Bruce Wayne (10/31)

Vampire!Bruce Wayne has a taste of his human maid.

Warnings/Kinks: Blood, Vampirism, Maid Costume, Cunnilingus

let me know what y'all think!

#x black!reader #black!reader #x black reader #bruce wayne x black!reader #bruce wayne #black reader #jason todd #bruce wayne x reader #vampire!bruce wayne #john price #jason todd x black reader #john constantine x black!reader #john price x black!reader #clark kent x black!reader #clark kent #john constantine #c-nstantine #kinktober #kinktober 2023

[gayfrenchtoast]

Batman: I have discovered and uncovered some of the greatest mysteries of all time, I am a seeker of truths, the greatest detective, but what I haven't been able to put my finger on the most...is, why King shark?

Constantine: ...seriously? Nothing makes you conclude why I could possibly want to date King shark?

#B: please dont tell me its the shark di- C: WHY WOULDNT IT BE THE SHARK DICKS?! #draft dump #constantine #john constantine #batman

[dukeofriven]

So my desire to just completely give up on the mediocrity that seem to be Sandman comes ten minutes into episode three, where rather than messy, fucked-up, rage-rage-against-the-hell-of-Thatcherism John Constantine we get 2022 Jenna Coleman doing a warmed-over Series 7 Clara Oswald in perfect makeup, a stylish outfit, and a pro-establishment story that feels utterly tone-deaf. Now, that’s a tad unfair, because I like Jenna Coleman. I liked Clara in later seasons of Doctor Who. I have no intrinsic problem that we have Johanna Constantine instead of John Constantine: whether it was a rights issue or not, there’s nothing wrong with Johanna in and of herself. Further, it’s important to note that Johanna is not simply a gender-swapped Constantine, that she is her own independent character in her own right. But it’s everything that feels off about this new Sandman that this put-together and stylish character swans-in and saves a princess surrounded by Church of England opulence. This new Sandman is so clean it positively squeaks. It is sanitized, smooth, utterly without edge. There’s no fear that a dirty needle might be hidden somewhere in the text, no sense of a hungry creator throwing everything at the story in a mad scramble to create something different and full of life while his bosses’ attention is elsewhere. This Sandman adaptation is the product of a man who has been successful for so long that the grime and grunge is long forgotten. This is an adaptation by a man who married a rock star, has several nice houses, and a pretty comfortable life. It’s entertaining. it’s well acted. It’s competently shot. And fuck me sideways is it twee. I didn’t think a foul-mouthed Jenna Coleman making a man explode in a shower of gore as she banishes a tall and handsome demon could feel sanitary and twee but it does. Sandman the comic is covered in shit. It’s dirty, it’s grimy, it’s the 1980s: Britain is dying, a decade-long Conservative government has sucked all the life out of it, and working-class magic schmuck John Constantine has a cigarette before getting out of bed in his squalid apartment and eating a diner cheeseburger for breakfast, having a chat with London as he does so. Sandman the television adaptation is safe. It’s popcorn comfort food for the torpid goth-punk crowd who buy Hellboy Funko-Pops and own one or two ‘creepy dolls’ in lieu of having a personality. It’s clean, it’s sanitary, it’s the 2020s: Britain is dying, a decade-long Conservative government has sucked all the life out of it, and Johanna Constantine in an expensive coat saves a princess and can’t tell whether to send the bill to the Church of England of Buckingham Palace. It’s a perfectly functional television program that, thus far, has nothing to say.

#The Sandman #jenna coleman #johanna constantine #john constantine #Neil Gaiman #Doctor Who #clara oswald #C of E #Britain

[morethanonepage]

Character bingo: yaboi JC

sad that i didn’t get bingo on this one tbh but like:

‘i’m obsessed with their character arc’ - the BEST/my favorite Hellblazer issues are where john has NO character arc aka he’s just kinda there (i guess i like the character arcs in the Jenkins run where he like, has normie friends and kind of figures out it’s not sustainable for him to have a fully normie life but that maybe it IS something he wants?) but that really doesn’t last

‘whats wrong with them (affectionate/derogatory)’ - i know exactly what’s wrong with him lmfao, given his backstory it’s not that hard to figure out

“they’ve never done anything wrong in their life” - he’s done EVERYTHING wrong in his life but i love him anyway

etc etc etc

#i DON'T actively dislike him tho i think a lot of his recent appearances are doing him a disservice #which feeds into 'not enough screen time' (in canons i like) but too much screen time (in canons i don't like) #john constantine #character opinion bingo #(i also think it's funny that people think johnny c is my boi bc like i do reblog a lot of stuff about him but he's not REALLY my favorite) #(tho idk maybe he is i do spend a lot of time complaining about he's portrayed) #also it's more like 'reading sikenbot quotes and holding him up like a paint switch'