#cause theyre all there for a few seconds

[aroaceleovaldez]

my notifs recently got me thinking about the very random concept of "what if there is a second, secret CHB. directly below normal CHB." and i ended up brainstorming it in the discord.

context for how this originated: one was just a random notif on my post talking about the tunnels under the Hephaestus cabin, and the other was some tags from @drksanctuary on my fake readriordan article mentioning the idea of a chthonic demigod camp.

so. my brilliant (read: "smashing my 2 brain cells together") idea: the elaborate and seemingly infinite tunnels under cabin 9 are remnants of an abandoned underground CHB that exists directly underneath camp. It's basically just normal CHB except in a big cave system, probably connected to the labyrinth somewhere and has the separate tunnels, and instead of the Olympian cabins it has chthonic cabins. there's probably also some infernal nymphs and etc down there too. since all chthonic demigods can learn to shadow-travel they probably used that to get down there, and a lot of chthonic demigods probably have geokinesis just by nature, ergo the tunnels (for when they don't want to shadow-travel, or can't).

in brainstorming with the discord we decided it could be cool if some of the cabins lined up with the above-ground cabins, either for thematic purposes or associations or whatever. Like there's maybe a Hermes and maybe Poseidon cabin in the chthonic CHB too that just link to the above-ground ones, but also like Persephone cabin lines up to Demeter cabin because of course it does. and maybe Hecate cabin lines up to Cabin 8 cause Artemis is sometimes 1/3rd of Hecate. Maybe Angelos cabin is beneath Cabin 1, and Zagreus cabin is beneath Cabin 12. Things like that.

The other ones i thought of were either Hypnos or Thanatos cabin lines up with Apollo, because twins, and the other is just right beside it (because twins). And Charon's cabin is beneath Cabin 9, ergo why the tunnel system connects to it (because Charon. Ferryman. Surface access. It makes sense in my brain).

#pjo #riordanverse #headcanon #headcanons #au #< go figure which you wanna classify it as #this is entirely silly musing but it actually kind of works out nicely cause there's far fewer chthonic deities #than there are technical-olympians #so honestly you could get away with having the secondary chb only having a few extra cabins compared to the 12 usual cabins #it definitely wouldnt be any more than the 20 cabins it has by TOA #also for silly thematic reasons i do think itd be funny if despite everything cabin 13 is still inexplicably cabin 13 in underground chb #like. it shouldn't be. that doesnt make sense. but it is. what's the numbering system for the other cabins? who knows #negative numbers would be interesting. cause theyre underground #i do already have the hc of there being a secret extra cabin aboveground in chb nicknamed ''Cabin 0/Zero'' #that's a little ways into the woods and kinda run-down cause it goes unused and basically why it exists is because #the ''12 olympians'' is actually inconsistent throughout ancient greece so there's a non-zero chance they could have a demigod show up #whose parent *is* technically one of the 12 olympians but they dont have a cabin for them - like Enodia. ergo: spare cabin #anyways all this musing is intentionally very silly #i just think itd be funny for chb to find out there is a second. more goth chb that is otherwise identical #literally directly below them. for no reason. #''why'd they made a second chb directly below the first one?'' ''idk underworld/chthonic reference i guess''

[horrorshowcliche]

some fish ive painted

#snag.art #fishblr #fish #fish art #rainbow trout #frilled shark #sharks #painting #clip studio paint #artists of tumblr #Hello . sorry i died #im taking online summer classes at my uni and theyre insane #full length classes squished into a few months time #im doing . ok . im alive . havent drawn in awhile tho #in a major block rn #so heres some old fish paintings for you guys #i actually sold the second fish as a print at a festival once a few summers ago #if anyone has interest in buying prints of these ? lmk and ill upload them to etsy #cause ive got a few more left #nice frames included #anyways. im alive i swear! more fallout stuff coming soon #ive been slowlychipping away at a hardcore one #and slowly getting achivements on my all genocide/true evil run

[kirbyddd]

im saw one

little orange beacon in the sky

fading in and out in place

#ive heard theyre super bright #but this one was small and no brighter than a planet #much smaller than the plane headlights i was watching earlier #and no glare or shine just a little point of light like a lil planet #but over the city lights where only 1 actual planet and 1 star was visible tonight (at least in the north and east where i was able to see) #on a few seconds off like 15 seconds. going like that for a few minutes til i exited the highway and couldnt watch anymore #only took a moment to turn on or off but it was a smooth gentle brightening or dimming with no flicker. like sliding a fancy room dimmer #i wouldve thought this one was like mars or something if it wasnt fading in and out #clear skies with no clouds. still a little hazy from the fires but still visibility for miles #enough to watch the entire BNA approach all the way from north of nashville to turning back NE over brentwood to final #cause it was so quiet tonight they were letting them cut it short a bit and kinda just do a single long turn over brentwood #from southbound to final in one turn #anyway #visibility was clear and the air traffic was clear as well #i even had my glasses on #(specifically so i could watch the air traffic earlier i wanted to see how for out i could see the nav lights) #and this fella was just chillin above it all #i'd say probably a stones throw out from downtown probably just east or northeast of the city #a good bit north of BNA but to the west of it closer to the city longitudinally at least. wouldve been juuust to the right of the skyline. #i was watchin it while on 65N on the stretch between brentwood and nashville when you finally get between the kinda brentwood border hills #where they shot the guy #the stretch that had the kkk statue #anywayy #i saw a lad #let me see your plane can it fly in space #i want to be able to draw it #around 1:50 AM #i had half a mind to try n get a picture but i didnt know if the trees would cover it at the gas station and #i wouldve had to delete a bunch of stuff on my phone which i was specifically driving back to my place to back up instead of deleting #and it was just a lil beacon chillin there. wouldve just been a grainy shaky video of an orange dot fading in and out like yeah great

[todayisafridaynight]

todays unexpected question is 'is that a speck of blood or is that a mole'

#snap chats #ignore me i was just looking through y7 cutscenes again #and i was looking at arakawa clips from the night of The Incident #and there's like. this blemish on his chest and im like 'is that blood or is that a mole' #mr arakawa i SWEAAARRR im looking at your tit meat respectfully im deadass just trying to discern if its blood or not #i think its just blood cause if it were a mole we know i'd exploit that in literally .3 seconds #also i cant see it anymore when hes Not covered in bruises #Evidently i dont try to draw EVERY mole- arakawa/nakai has a few on his face i exclude just cause Im Blind and forget theyre there #i did gaslight myself into thinking he had a mole on his neck like ichi... dunno how but lol... that's my truth now sorry <- not #anyway looking at young arakawa more tho i love how i realize that all the bits i realized were silver are actually gold. #like i thought his belt buckle was silver but no its Also gold #which..... Maybe Unintentional Irony since ichi's chain is gold while masato's chain was silver.. but maybe purposeful.. #and yk.... lol.... not to even mention jo's chain is silver... #thinking to much into it now boys but anyways bye

[vaugarde]

video game animations for me are like... not really the decisive factor to me, even if the presentation of a game is kinda bad i can tolerate it. but my bar is that i dont want it to be distractingly bad yknow? 

sadly pokemon fits into distractingly bad tho 

#like gti? its presentation is bad ill just say that. the game visually doesnt look good imo but its still my second fave game #and the game doesnt look distractingly bad #swsh had better visuals than gti on a base level but the actual animations were distractingly bad #like the tree was something i didnt care abt but the awkward legendary walk animation. the screen cutting to black when a character #has to do something more complex than turn or walk #a white void when u battle indoors bc they didnt wanna render a generic building #like. yeah theres a shit ton of crunch time going on thats causing this so no shade onthe animators #theyre cutting corners and i cant exactly blame them but god. tpci it looks bad. extend the development cycle #ive seen one scivi animation about eating sandwiches at the picnic and. dear god #i saw it get excused with ''oh its for comedic effect!!'' but like it wasnt comedically bad. it was just bad #like all the pokemon awkwardly floating behind the trainer just does not look good and its not funny #echoed voice #legends had a few moments where i like like..... hm..... but overall i love that game and had a ton of fun with it #and overall the animation wasn't distracting #im just hoping the overall look of scivi is better. i want it to be better so bad oh god

[corneille-moisie]

Look, i dont wanna be angry, i just want to stop dropping every single thing that I grab

#😤 #dyspraxia #so how do you deal with your anger issues ? #i feel like it just needs to get out otherwise i get exponentially angrier by the second #and i dont have time to realize that im too angry and need to step back until im already angry and activelly throwing things on the floor #cause theyre gonna end on the floor anyway cause i keep fucking droping every fucking thing #i have some tricks that work but like i said i always think about it too late cause all i see is anger #all i see is anger for like 10 seconds i throw a few things and swear a lot and then it passes #it would be fine but it still scares my partner and i dont want to scare my partner #so i just end up mad at myself for not being able to have just a little bit of self control

[halfway-house-in-hell]

angel dust redesign🕷️

(click for better quality)

and since theyre the first sinner ive posted, they get a human design!

rambling under the cut

(if my handwriting in the second image is unreadable you can check the id)

-angel dust was a sinner that died in 1948. they were a member of a large mafia family and led a secret life as a drag queen

-they were born into the family, and were unable to leave bc. you know. life of crime

-much of their family looked down on them and mocked them bc of their feminine mannerisms

-they had a particularly bad relationship with their father, who saw them as a failure of a son

-so they turned to drag and underground queer clubs instead (angel dust was their drag name that they adopted full time after dying, anthony was their "real" name)

-they also turned to cocaine, often stealing from their family's stash

-their death happened because they were lousy hiding the tracks of their theft- the family got a tip off that angel had been stealing and that they were currently in an aforementioned queer club

-mafia family storms the queer club, angel comes out off their head on cocaine, their father finds then and shoots them in the chest before slamming their head against the wall repeatedly, killing them

-their and all of their family's (except their sister) demon forms are spiders, symbolising the web of lies they spun😎 because angel died in drag they also have a much more feminine demon form

-they enjoyed life in hell for a while, but soon enough other members of their family started dying and began looking for them. this caused them to flee to the nearest hiding space they had, a place called Valentino's that promised a safe haven against any threats

-as we know this promise is absolute bullshit

-angel signed the contract that allowed them entry to valentino's. they were panicked and signed it hastily, not looking at the fine print.

-they become trapped at valentino's, forced to be a prostitute

-until valentino himself visits and likes the look of angel, deciding that he wants angel for himself

-he takes on angel as a prostitute/porn star/stripper/whatever valentino wants them to be today, with valentino abusing them behind the scenes

-valentino lovebombs them often, buying them expensive gifts they are required to wear and feeding their drug habit

-despite being famous, most of the money angel makes goes straight into valentinos pocket. this is what leads them to finding charlie's hotel, as they do not have enough money to pay rent and the happy hotel offers free accommodation.

-angel's best friend is cherry bomb, an anarchist who wants nothing more than to free them- but she has no money, no connections and is banned from most places on sight due to her habit of blowing stuff up. when angel dust gets sad and mopey, she gets angry for them

-angel uses they/them, but hell isnt the most progressive place, so few demons use it for them. they dont really care though, they have bigger things to worry about

-they actually physically cannot harm valentino, as part of their contract states that any harm valentino goes through also happens to them

-they like to keep up with the latest trends, and have a decent sinstagram following

-they are hypersexual due to trauma

-i think thats it. if i forgot smth im gonna be so mad

oki thanks for reading :33

#angel dust #angel dust hazbin hotel #halfway house art #hazbin critical #hazbin hotel critical #hazbin hotel redesign #hazbin hotel rewrite #halfway house rewrites #hazbin hotel criticism #angel dust redesign #violence tw

[dear-ao3]

ok so considering im decently sure a good chunk of the f1 drivers dont actually like driving road cars on roads (fair) i propose a new grand prix to determine the real Best Driver.

behold. the rush hour grand prix.

1 lap. at rush hour on a friday night. all the usual normal commuters and terrible drivers are still on the road along with all the drivers. in the rain. everyone drives a car of their choice. they have to count out all their tolls using change, no one gets ez pass. and you get disqualified if you veer from the instructions (no wrong turns!)

and where does this take place?

thats right.

new jersey. (and new york city) (but mostly new jersey)

here is the proposed track:

we start and end on route 22 right outside the staples. a terrible awful road that would cause harm to any driver, especially european ones. route 22 is so terrible because there is a long stretch that has a center median with shops in it, so theres shops on the right the left and in the center with u turns every 500 feet.

they go east on 22 towards us route 1 and 9 and, thats right, newark liberty international airport. here they have to do a loop around all of the departure terminals before exiting and heading towards jersey city on route 78.

they take route 78 through the holland tunnel, which is a hilarious tunnel to go through as you can literally blink and miss the signs because theyre so small.

upon arriving in new york city they will head towards the canal street station, doing an awful little loopy loop to take hudson street to 8th avenue. new york will prove a challenge for many of them because every other street and avenue there is pretty much a one way in the opposite way.

theyre going to turn right on 23rd street and take it three blocks towards the flatiron building on fifth avenue before doing another turn around and heading back up sixth avenue

here theyre going to turn left on 40th street, then right on 7th avenue then immediately right again on 41st street and then back to 6th avenue which they'll take all the way to the bottom of central park. here they'll turn left onto 59th street then go around columbus circle, exiting on broadway and then going right onto 57th street, which they'll then take down to 11th avenue, then after. few blocks cut over to the west side highway (12 avenue) and then they'll get off at 40th street and enter, you guessed it, the lincoln tunnel.

they'll exit the lincoln and get onto route 3 which they'll take down to route 120 and then they'll do a single doughnut in the parking lot at the american dream mall (a terrible place) before getting onto, you guessed it! 95!! they'll take 95 (devil highway) to 78 to the garden state parkway before getting back on route 22, doing a quick hairpin turn at one the first u turn and then end up straight back where they started. outside the staples.

i think maybe 3 people would finish the whole thing. logan sargeant, being the only american, would come in first. fernando alonso takes second and valtteri bottas takes third.

#im accepting no questions #not a tag #from saph #f1

[number1jeonginstan]

You said you wanted thoughts sooo here we go

okay so imagine, reader is dating seungmin and in bed theyre always talking about how they need someone else to fully fulfill their desires, to be utterly used. One day in the dorms seungmin and reader are going AT IT when they think no one is home but jeongin is in the next room. in their neediness they forgot to fully close the door and jeongin can hear everything and he can hear the way you beg seungmin for someone else and hes responding like

"Bet you wish little jeonginnie was here to help you dont ya? want his cock so bad but here you are cumming on mine"

and jeongin's brain just... stops

anyway yeah thats a thought that you can expand on if you like :)

also could I be moose anon? if you dont have one already

Omfg, I love this so much what the fuck... (And ofc 🫎, I love getting new anons <3)

Just imagine:

Jeongin came home from the gym, his body still a bit sweaty. He was about to walk into Seungmin's room, asking if he wanted anything to eat because he was about to order himself dinner, only to hear you moaning.

"Please Minnie, I need more, please" you whined as he was fucking you from behind. Your voice was slightly muffled since your face was pressed into the pillows at the head of the bed.

"Fucking slut" he groaned, his pace not faltering "You need another cock in you? One's not enough?" he screamed, slapping your ass.

"No, need more, please I need him" you whimpered.

Jeongin knew he should have walked away, he shouldn't be peeping from the crack in the door, but he couldn't help it. You looked so fucking good as drool was pressed against your face.

"Yeah, you need Jeongin to fuck you too? Is that why you always ask him for help to carry things? Want to see him toss you around next"

"Yes!" you moaned as Seungmin hit that deep spot inside of your cunt.

Jeongin said "fuck all" to every ounce of common sense in his body and barged into Seungmin's room, taking off his shirt before you or Minnie could register what was going on.

"I guess all your wishes are coming true" Seungmin whispered into your ear, causing you to look at him with a confused look splayed on your face, only to see Jeongin next to him, pulling down his shorts and boxers, his leaking cock hitting his stomach.

He was huge, a bit shorter than Min, but a hell of a lot thicker. Your eyes bulged out at the sight of it, causing him to chuckle.

"Thanks for stretching her out hyung, now let me show her what a real cock feels like." He groaned, slamming the entirety of his cock inside of you before you could even say anything.

"Look at her being a cock drunk whore" Seungmin tsks as Jeongin trusted harshly inside of you, his cock making you see stars.

"Fuck, she's so tight even though you just fucked her. This is such a good pussy, can't believe you were hiding it from me" Jeongin groaned, slapping his hips against your ass harder.

You couldn't even reply, too immersed in the feeling of Jeongin hitting all the spots inside of you that drove you wild.

"Too much" you whined as he brought his hand down to your clit.

"You are going to take it baby" Jeongin replied, not faltering his pace "My fucked out baby just said that Minnie's cock isn't enough and is now complaining that my big fat cock inside of you is too much. Guess you don't deserve to cum"

"No please, I'm so sorry Innie, feels so good, please let me cum" you whined, thrusting back into him to try and get any sort of friction.

"Ask your sir" he chuckled, grabbing your hair so your face was looking directly at Seungmin, your eyes meeting his.

"Please sir, may I cum, please need to cum" you whined, waiting for Seungmin's response.

What felt like an eternity was only a few seconds for Minnie to nod his head yes, allowing you to cum around Jeongin's cock.

"Fuck!" he groaned, feeling himself get closer.

Right before he could cum, he pulled his cock out of you, cumming all over your back, causing both you and Minnie to moan audibly.

"We should leave the door open more" Seungmin giggled, kissing your lips before Jeongin picked you up, taking you to your shared bathroom.

#ju <3 answers #ju's <3 anons #ju's <3 hardthoughts #stray kids #skz smut #skz #straykids x reader #straykids smut #skz x reader #stray kids smut #seungmin x reader smut #seungmin smut #seungmin x reader #jeongin smut #jeongin x reader #i.n smut #skz i.n

[eternalera]

i like that we finally get to see what pushes alastors buttons in episode five.

we actually see him mad. you can argue that with vox hes also mad at the end of their song in 'stayed gone' but it doesnt really seem like that. its him threatening vox yes but in the end hes not mad. he isnt really losing his cool. its him basically just saying that hes still in charge

also throughout their whole song alastor doesnt really provoke vox, hes passive aggressive. never interrupting him and when their screens are split and he only pokes him once yet that one time was enough to send vox and black out the entirety of hell (although this mightve been alastor)

throughout the entiry of their song vox is constantly trying to block alastor to say 'he isnt a threat hes a nobody' but as we can see he's clearly failing. and as with each passing second vox gets more annoyed and as i said. he ends up causing a MASSIVE blackout one that takes over all of hell

throughout this entire time though alastor doesnt flinch. he doesnt fight for the spotlight because he doesnt need it. vox is making a fool of himself like alastor probably expects him to based on past encounters that we dont see.

yet with lucifer they probably have some sort of history.

alastor actually feels somewhat threatened/doesnt want lucifer there (whether if lilith told him not to assuming that he owes his soul to lilith but you get the point). he wants lucifer gone. not only that but hes pushing him saying that hes basically like a father to charlie already.

alastor is trying to replace lucifer but remember that lucifer not only the king of the pride ring (i forgot the terminology alr-) but hes also the king of hell.

despite lucifer acting like a joke in the singular episode that we see him in he is the most powerful being in hell. hes more powerful than lilith or charlie (and once again assuming that lilith owns alastor a pretty damn powerful being shes really fucking powerful).

if lucifer wants he could probably obliterate alastor in less than a damn second, yet he doesnt for a few reasons

hes important to charlie

hes important to what charlies doing

this basically gives alastor invincibility against lucifer going bonkers on him and killing him. then again why doesnt lucifer just help charlie? well hes probably got more important things to do (despite what we saw of him) and hes given up on the sinners.

he gave them freewill and never got to see the good done with it. he most likely never saw the people who went to heaven so for all he knows everyone ended up down in hell and are doing shit things with what he gave them.

he most likely wants them gone and wants the extermination to happen because he thinks that they dont deserve a second chance unlike his daughter. but remember that he also loves charlie, thats his fucking daughter and when she calls him he gets excited he wants charlie to like him. but that being said he doesnt think the sinners deserve his kindness anymore after they took his gift and basically made a fool of him.

so lucifer wont help charlie so he just has alastor help her instead to keep her happy.

not only this but in the song 'hells greatest dad' (i think its called that) unlike in 'stayed gone' theyre both fighting for attention. charlies attention.

once again we dont know what beef theyve got with each other but its most likely because of either the past or whether or not that lilith owns alastor and told him to fuck with lucifer.

in this scene we see the color constantly change and them constantly kicking each other out with them both losing their cool and making a fool of themselves. theyre an actual match for each other

lucifer is an actual threat and so is alastor for reasons that we dont know yet. this makes them have to prove their worth to charlie over whos more powerful and who can help her more because even though lucifer doesnt want to help the sinners (and most likely wont) he wants to make her happy.

and even though we dont know why alastor hates lucifer its probably most likely to do with whoever owns his soul and whatnot along with he needs lucifer just out of the picture and that isnt as easy to do as he'd like.

also damn did this become a rant and get off topic-

#alastor hazbin hotel #alastor #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel theory #kinda #lucifer morningstar #lucifer hazbin hotel #lucifer morningstar hazbin hotel #alastor the radio demon #charlie morningstar #charlie hazbin hotel #hazbin #character study #character analysis #character essay #not really but might as well be that

[nekassvariigs]

I saw someone having a post mentioning if a character from one piece would be certain about age gaps so here i am in a silly goffy mood.

ーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーー

Idea: Waking up/Walking around not realising youre wearing a shirt saying "Dilf patrol" and going out on the ship/certain places causing some interesting conversations.

Raighley, Shanks, Mihawk, Law, Kid, Doflamingo

Special addition: Bepo for cuteness

I know kid and law arent dilfs but theyre fun to write

Kid

Way too busy to notice it at first until someone points it out.

Hes flabbergasted.

"Into experianced men huh?" he comments brows furrowed in question.

It took you a while to register.

"I know i dont qualify as one but give me a few years."

You couldnt be more embarrassed, not to say anytime he asks you to stand on lookout he'll yell "DILF PARTROL" full blast embarrassing you each time.

If hes into you he'll paint over one of his shirts the words "certified dilf" while working on his gagets. If you catch him in the act give him a sly smirk and run for your goddamn life.

However if you both happen to wear it at the same time again its now your turn to shout over the entire ship "DILF SPOTTED" the moment you see him. You'll distract him so horredusly he wont be able to unhear it for the next week.

At some point you both take a picture, altough the main focus is you zooming in on his tits where the label he drew on was.

"Let me see the photo."

You show it to him proudly and prepare for self defense.

"You little shit." hed scoff ,however his ego was lifted that hed certified dilf material.

Doflamingo

This pink flamingo has been walking around you all morning trying to be subtle.

It was getting on your nerves.

"Can you ATLEAST pretend that your subtle, Youre like 10 meters tall dude you wear a PINK FEATHER COAT."

"So?" He picks his teeth with a toothpick.

"Why are you following me?"

"Your shirt."

"What about it?" you get more annoyed by the second.

"Not your dresscode madamoiselle?" you give him a fake smile with your eyes.

"Ha..Hahaha..HAHAHAHA, i must send this to the navy." He takes a photo.

"Fuck do you mean send it to the navy?!"

"Look, i can already hear "it's the dilf parol woman" with your face plastered all over it."

Oh he really was pushing it huh.

With a loud FWAP the shirt lands flat on his face right on the centered plastered with the writing.

"I think they'd like this one better."

You show him the picutre. There he is this wooden shelf for a man in his pink ridicilous coat with his face covered in a shirt thats says "Dilf patrol" boldly.

"My ass im gonna let you have your way with it."

Onsues a battle between two idiots.

Nearing your defeat you splur out "Y'know if you had a kid you'd qualify for it."

"Huh- Yeah right."

"Im dead serious."

"..."

"Time to take one for the team." He said confidently.

Raighley

Usually you stay over at Shakky's rip-off bar having known the owners well half owner Raighley. You never managed to catch his wife on time however, she was always out so one good day you treated yourself to a hands on barman experiance pouring yourself a drink, mind you its late so its okay.

Whilst mixing your drink you hear the front door open Raigley in sight he catches a seat.

"One whiskey on the rocks ma'am." he gets cozy until seeing you prepare your drink. You shake the mixture the tshirt you wore frurrowing all sorts of ways.

"?" He sees something written on it.. not fully tho, so he'll take a another peek in a bit.

Your drink made, you start his grabbing some ice and whiskey for the foxy man.

"Here ya go~" you happily chirped at him offering his drink.

It wasnt until you were mid drink he said "Say would i qualify as a dilf?"

ah the burning sensation of choking on alcohol.

"What?" you ask him barely able to breathe.

"You know, I mean not to shoot myself in the foot i do happen to look good for my age." he takes a swig of his drink calmly.

"F-First off, where is this coming from? Second off what!?" You stutter, Raighley barely dared being so cocky, and now all of a sudden this!? Did he hit his head?

He doubles the K.O pointing to your shirt at which you stare down, immidiatley embarrased for showing your interest in older men un such a dumb way.

Cheeks blazing you admit defeat, giving him a thumb up weakly.

"You're overqualifed.."

"That so?" He smirks hand on his beard in question.

Now confidently you humm altough your legs were giving out.

Who woulda thought you had one of the hottest man, not to mention the most humble one around teasing you like this when youre compleatley unprepared.

[continuation awaits (￣^￣)ゞ]

Law

Poor guy was hoping to eat his meal in peace when you come in theough blazing the words dilf patrol on your shirt.

He literrally chokes.

"You alright capitan?" you ask him.

He swallows dryly, "Yeah..." he stares at you, then at the writing, then at you,the writing and at you for the last time.

"Y/n-ya, You know our crew mostly has guys around the age of 20, right?"

"Riight.. , point being?" you curiously ask.

"Point is WHO ARE YOU PATROLING FOR?!" Not gonna lie he was determined to know.

"!!?" Shocks sets in as you realize what youre wearing.

"Haha oh this thing, well you know give it a few years everyone will be aprooved, even you Law." you chuckle lips pointing in a whistle like manner.

He mentally stopped until he lowered his cow-print hat lower over his face, continuing eating without furter comments.

Hoo... Oh my.

"C-Capitans blushing!" Bepo alerts everyone in the dining hall. Startling you and Law himself.

"Was not, shut up!"

"I'm sorry!" he bows apologizing.

"Well in anycase we have time dont we?" You chuckle pouring yourself some tea.

Few meters behind you you hear more bickering about "Dont joke about this!" et cetera.

Mihawk

The silent man was trying to enjoy a morning newspaper till perona started babling to him about you.

"Whats the issue?" the blandly replies.

"Have you seen what shes wearing its not cute at all!" she pouts pointing to you , a pastry in your mouth the shirt revealing the writing.

Lightning stuck in his head.

"We all have preferances.."

He didnt want to even think about it.

"Thats right, we all have preferances" you pouted back disagreeing with her.

"Of all things you choose old hot guys seriously!? Pick something cuter next time!"

Bwaaa~ You drop your pastry.

"Who says i like old hot guys?"

"Your shirt says.." He nonchalantly interrupted.

"Ah so it does, WHAT?!" You strech out your shirt noticing the writing 'Dilf patrol'

"As long as she can handle it, i see no issue." He adds in.

Your jaw dropping, how can he be so relaxed about this.

"Stop embarrasing her old man-"

The bell dings in everyones head striking a nerve.

Everyone locks eyes.

Silence follows.

It was the tensest breakfast youve ever had with the two of them.

After breakfast you chose to clean the dishes upon hearing a knock.

"Not my buisness, but good choise." And he leaves just like that.

No dishes were washed for the next 30 minutes out of sheer incapability to understand his approval.

Shanks

All bark all bite he doesnt hold back.

He digs the shirt, calls it trendy,odd but trendy, hes seen worse.

"Y/n, i qualify."

"For what?"

"You can count me as a dilf, no?"

Your brain shortcircuts.

"Well.." You eye him up and down making him wait impatiently.

"I mean sorta? Youre not really the hot DAD material are you? "

"I can be though." he shoots you a grin.

"Caaan you?" you hiss back at him.

"Wanna seee for yourselllf?"

[Continuation awaits (￣^￣)ゞ]

Bepo!

You had just woken up having no actual shirt to wear from your regulars you scramped one from the dryer. You didnt even bother to check which one it was you had agreed to train with bepo.

"Goodmornin'. " Hes as polite as ever.

"Mornin' bepo, lets start some warm ups?"

You both proceed to train along eachother however the longer it lasted the more people gathered around you two.

"Whats this about?" You question wiping the sweat off your forehead with your shirt.

"Mm Maybe because youre wearing that today?" ,his fluffy paw points to your shirt.

Every guy in a 10 meter radius was giving you thumbs up making you red as a raindeers nose.

"Y/n, whats a dilf anyways? Some new monester out there?" He innocently asks

"Haha y-no?, Do you wanna know?"

He nodds.

"Well its a preferance for older attractive looking men that have kids or had kids who grew up."

"So.. Do you like ..." he was deep in thought..

He didnt know what to ask.

"Ah mabye Vice capitan Ben?"

Pffttjfjfhdha

"Dont think hes got kids, but hes attractive so i approve." You wipe ur nose at the thought.

Next day Bepo shows around with a shirt labeled

"Shaved ice patrol."

What an innocent creature..

#perona #perona one piece #shanks x reader #one piece shanks #onepiece x reader #onepiece #dracule mihawk #mihawk x y/n #mihawk x reader #one piece mihawk #one piece doflamingo #doffy x reader #doflamingo smut #doflamingo x y/n #doflamingo fluff #donquixote doflamingo #raighley x reader #raighley x you #raighley x y/n #onepiece raighley #onepieceraighley #eustass kid #eustasscaptainkid #eustass kid x reader #eustass kid x y/n #bepo one piece #bepofluff #trafalgar law #trafalgar law x reader #trafalgar law fluff

[simp999]

hiii

I saw that you were taking requests for tf2 and I was wondering if you could you the moment the tf2 mercs realise that they enjoy reader being around? Maybe it can be seen as platonic or romantic? Like theyre just hanging out with reader and suddenly theyre like hmm. I enjoy your presence

Thank you if advance!!

Yay my first request!! This is the exact kind of thing I like to write www thank you for swinging by, and I hope you enjoy!! I may have gotten a little carried away-

The Moment the Mercs Realise They Enjoy Being Around Reader

Total wc: 2.3k

Mercs included: All

Masterlist

Scout: (slight angst, whoops)

-Enjoyed being around you since you first joined as a merc buuut

-The moment he realised he wanted to be around you more was when you gave him comfort.

-Sure, he's used to getting up to shenanigans with you on and off the battlefield, but this was a different side of him that nobody really got to see. 

-And you accepted it without a problem.

-One night, when most of the mercs were playing cards or off doing their own thing, you noticed that Scout wasn't with the main crowd. Usually, he was chomping away on junk food and teasing the others when they lost a round of cards (even though he lost quite often.)

-You excuse yourself from the table, and go check on him.

-Before you get the chance to knock, you can barely hear soft sniffles coming from his room.

-You gently knock on his door, and wait a decent amount of time before carefully opening the door.

-It seemed he hadn't heard the knock, or maybe tuned it out, but his first reaction was to turn away from you and hide his face with his hands.

-It hurt to see him like this. We all have those days, but you hated to see him fighting this on his own.

-You wordlessly went and sat near him on his bed, but not too close to cause any discomfort.

-When he finally tilted his head towards you, you could make out his red face and puffy eyes. You wanted nothing more than to swaddle and hug him, but comfort comes first.

-You lean towards him with your arms semi-open, welcoming him into a hug if he so chose.

-Without a second to lose, he barreled into you and let his tears fall freely.

-You did nothing but rub gentle circles over his back and offer a few soothing words here and there, letting him get it all out.

-You would have expected him to start talking about everything, being the talkative boy he is, but he did nothing but let the tears run for a while.

-Once he finally calmed from sobs to sniffles, you gave him a small kiss on his hairline.

-"You're still special, alright? Doesn't matter what you may have gone through, people will still love you."

-But the part that got him was the fact that you asked no questions. You didn't force him to open up. You always wanted him to feel comfortable, which was.. rare, for him, to say the least.

-That's when Jeremy realised that he felt safe and comfortable around you.

Soldier:

-The first time Soldier realised he enjoyed you being around was when you wouldn't roll your eyes or complain like the others.

-Of course, his drills sometimes got out of hand, but you never groaned or sounded annoyed about it.

-Rather, you would still state your thoughts, but you wouldn't be an ass about it.

-Specifically, the first day that Soldier had overworked the mercs while you were around. You noticed that some of them were looking a little woozy, and Scout seemed like he was about to pass out.

-You spoke up to him before he started the next drill.

-"With all due respect, Soldier, we can't become stronger if half of us are ready to pass out. We can take a break to regain our strength then…"

-He had completely tuned you out after that.

-He's never heard that from anyone before.

-"With all due respect."

-There was no malice in your tone, either.

-Soldier would never admit it, but he might go easier on you than others, now.

-Not to mention the fact that you weren't afraid to stand up to him, even within the first few days of barely knowing him. He tends to seem intimidating at first glance.

-Also, this stays between us, but the phrase "with all due respect" can mean no respect at all. 

-but Solly doesn't have to know that :)

Pyro:

-Our favorite Firebug always enjoyed having you around, that's a given when new mercs join!

-But the moment that they realised they wanted to be near you more was when you didn't baby them.

-You still treated them with respect, which was rare from most.

-Of course, you would still draw with them and make pillow forts and do things that were seen as childish, and you seemed to enjoy it, too!

-But one day, they wanted to help Engineer in the workshop with a project that was a little more difficult than usual.

-Engineer knows as well as we all do how... chaotic Pyro can be. But he didn't even give them a chance to try.

-You were working on a mini project of your own in the workshop and happened to hear the conversation.

-Then, you quipped with an idea.

-"What if we watched over them? As long as they don't do anything unsafe, then there's no problem with giving it a shot."

-You then looked over at them and seemed to catch on to their awestruck expression- even with the mask on, and gave them a big smile.

-You guided them through their project, helping them out when needed or asking Engie if you needed tips for something.

-Even when they were about to do something unsafe, you carefully explained why it was a bad idea. Not in a condescending way, either. Just a quick -"Woah, hey! Wrong tool for the job, Py. Let's ask Engie for the right one."

Heavy:

-The moment Heavy realised he enjoyed having you around was when he noticed the others being a little less stupid around the base.

-Which sounds pretty odd to say, but he's often the voice of reason, always telling the others to "Get off the counter!" And "Stop setting everything on fire!", and the usual "Stop eating Heavy's sandviches!"

-They began to not listen when he spoke, and he's been struggling with keeping them in check when the base needed it most lately.

-If he reaaaally wanted to, he could shut the whole base up with a loud "ENOUGH!!" That would reverberate through the walls, but it would only be followed by a quick "Uh-huh, try and make me," from Scout

-But you

-Oh, you.

-You didn't need a loud voice to scare them.

-Or big muscles.

-All you needed was to be great at making them feel guilt. Like a gentle parent lecturing their kid on their miserable grades.

-You're never angry, no,no. 

-Just disappointed.

-Scout ate one of heavy's sandviches when you first got there, and the longest record of parental scolding was broken right then and there.

-Never happened again, though!

Engineer:

-Engineer first realised that he enjoyed your presence when you showed an open mind, and willingness to learn.

-He'd had too many people come up to him over the years claim to want to watch what he's working on, only to constantly tell him he's not doing it right or not using the proper tool for the job

-Seriously gonna question the man with 11 PhDs? Yeah, I wouldn't.

-But the worst is when he has to be paired up with other men on the same job that never listened to his ideas or thought process.

-When you came along to his workshop and asked him if you could watch over and learn from him, he was hesitant. It's not like he had performance anxiety, he was definetly confident in his skill. But he wasn't sure if he could keep it together if he has one more PhD-less person confidently tell him he's doing something wrong.

-But, he was pleasantly surprised by your questions and actions. You always asked before touching anything, and listened intently when he explained stuff. You even left a while in, only to come back with lunch for the both of you so you could continue talking about his project.

-Even the one time you did think he may have done something wrong, you asked him to explain why he did it that way instead of another. 

Demoman:

-The moment Demo realised that he loved having you around, was when you cared for him when nobody else did.

-Everyone else was so used to him coming back to base extremely drunk, barely able to walk on his own.

-The most they'd do anymore is give him some pain meds then let him fend for himself, which usually left him waking up sore from falling asleep on the floor.

-But when you came along,, oh boy.

-He may not have remembered much, if any, of the night before, but he does know that he woke up all comfortable in bed, next to a plushie that had not been there before.

-He also noticed a glass of water and pain meds on his bedside table, and on the floor beside his bed, a bucket incase he felt sick.

-He couldn't figure out who could have done this for him, since he never really hung out with you since you became a merc.

-A few quick introductions and that was about it.

-But when he sat around the table playing poker with the guys and one of them slips the fact that you had slung his arm around your shoulder while carrying him to his room, and that you were the one to tuck him in, he may have felt embarrassment as well as butterflies.

Medic:

-Medic treated you as any other merc when you had first joined. Healing you if he could, and only really focusing on his own thing.

-But, when you started to hang around the base with the mercs to get more comfortable with everybody, that's when he noticed something.

-Your crude sense of humor.

-Sometimes even downright dark.

-It wasn't rare for you to crack a joke that had the others simply staring at you, some with a surprised look on their face, others seeming a little uncomfortable. Which is hard to do, coming from a team of killers.

-You didn't want anyone being uncomfortable around you though, so you toned it down.

-But, whenever you were with Medic, he would silently encourage it. He didn't really pay attention to the wide, almost creepy grins he'd give when you told an especially gory joke.

-They're not all bad, though! Some are just a little.. silly.

-The line that made Medic realise he enjoyed you little quips, was when Scout has given himself a paper cut.

-He immediately was frustrated with it, and had to announce it to the team right away. Without missing a beat, you immediately replied with; "Whoop, guess we gotta amputate."

-It was just so.. unexpected? He may have let out a small snort at that one.

Sniper:

-Sniper took a while. It's not like he's the first to go up to a new merc and ask to be friends, you know.

-Though, his moment of realisation came after you went out of your way to appreciate him, and slowly spend more time with him.

-You'd sit a comfortable distance away from him, and never forced small talk.

-You would always made sure to congratulate him on any especially nice shots,

-And eventually, you two had made it to the point of being almost comfortable enough for you to hang out in his Sniping nest.

-The reason I say almost, is because he still felt quite awkward having someone be in his space. He's just not used to it.

-But you weren't hovering over his shoulder, you simply had a book in your hand as you sat in the corner of his nest.

-His exact moment of realisation was when he caught himself info-dumping to you about animals. Especially dangerous ones.

-It was a simple question, really. You had run across an animal in your book and figured that Sniper's probably the guy to ask about if you wanted to know more about it.

-So, you quietly, as to not disturb his concentration, asked him about snakes.

-Usually his answers to most questions were single words, or a curt nod or shake of his head, but he had accidentally let himself slip as he taught you about what markings to watch out for and what snakes would be common in your area.

-When he finally did catch himself, he froze, and glanced over at you.

-You, who had nothing but wonder and curiosity in your eyes.

-Maybe he'll keep you around to keep him less bored.

Spy:

-Look, Spy doesn't grow attached to anyone. 

-...Easily, that is. 

-But, he may silently gain some.. favoritism if you manage to get on his good side

-There's not much this man cares for. He wouldn't favor you any more if you bought him flowers, or wore expensive perfume.

-He'd honestly prefer it if people left him alone. 

-But there is one thing he cares about, and it doesn't even involve you interacting with Spy himself.

-That's right. Scout. Jeremy.

-The moment that Spy began to not feel more comfortable around you, but maybe feel soft- if we can even call it that- is when he caught wind of you watching over Scout.

-You often stole his Bonk cans right out of his hands, or nudged his sides when he hasn't eaten in a while. 

-You probably annoyed the hell out of Scout, but Spy could see that it was for the best. 

-It's almost as if you saw Jeremy as your own kid- just, with more of an annoying-sibling type vibe when it came to caring for him.

-It's exactly what Scout needed.

-Not that you'd notice it, because Spy's good at his job, but it sometimes seems like taking you down from behind isn't an option.

Thank you for making it to the end!! :D

July.25.23

#x reader #fanfic #team fortress #tf2 #team fortress 2 x reader #team fortress two #team fortress 2 #tf2 scout #tf2 soldier #tf2 pyro #tf2 engineer #tf2 heavy #tf2 demoman #tf2 medic #tf2 sniper #tf2 spy #scout x reader #soldier x reader #pyro x reader #engineer x reader #heavy x reader #demoman x reader #medic x reader #sniper x reader #spy x reader #tf2 x you #team fortress x you

[penaltyboxboxbox]

any genderbend headcanons you would like to share 👀????

YEAH....YEAH I DO....theyre all pretty random and non specific but if you want to hear me ramble about my girl drivers here u go

Charles: she's a non conventional fashion girlie...........she likes to dress quite femininely and and gets a lot of fashion based brand deals so she is often pairing skirts and such with her sportswear and it sometimes looks a bit silly. a lot of her fits are like...is it a fit or is she just really pretty and wearing designer lol. the skirt i drew her in is what I THINK would be her version of the quali pants, it's this knit skirt from gucci 💁‍♂️

Carlos: she is like two steps away from being a high bun lesbian. still keeps her FEM VIBES mostly because of family pressure. but the second she gets put in a dress its all a little . hm. youre a masc arent you.

Pierre: happy to be the paddock baddie like....she embraces it fully. she got a boob job and doesnt care if people know. constantly hints at being bisexual on instagram but will never confirm.

Esteban: the girl who had the most major glow up............and who has also had a bob her whole gd life. literally lives in a lulu jacket and yoga pants like its her uniform. she and pierre had the most toxic codependent girl friendship of all time. she's soooo so so tall and always got mad growing up because none of the boys liked her cause she was taller than them and got teased about it....still tall as fuck

Lance: my tall and beautiful wife...every few months she chops her bangs too short and everyone cries until they grow out again. she hates having hair in her eyes.... hates dresses and heels since she always sits with her legs out...gotta be comfy duh..

Fernando: milflonso............she was an it girl in her youth and then got divorced and came out as a lesbian and became an irresistible masc

George: the preppiest girl you can imagine she will never cut her hair AND she will wear a skort. extreme complex about being a tall girl.

Lewis: ultimate fashionista like she gets it....changes her hair a lot more than boy lewis....extremely in denial lesbian who dates the gayest men imaginable

Yuki: shes a hey mamas lesbian. she flirts so hard with pierre from like eye level with her huge boobs. kind of a fuckboy she swears she'll treat you rightttt come on babyyyy

Daniel: used to be such a hotgirl such a coolgirl like in her younger days she had long long hair and dressed sexy and was all about pushing this like....im a hot girl but im also so cool and just like the boys 😜 (she was overcompensating for something) but after she leaves redbull she like cuts off all her hair and slowly starts mascing the fuck out as she gets older.....now shes just straight up soft butch and everyone knows she kisses girls

Max: grew up forced to have the worst bowlcut in the world and never got to be very girly or anything so when she grew up she finally let her hair grow long and never cuts it. has barely any personal style and still cannot walk in heels tho.

Checo: arguably the one who cleans up the best like shes the one with the makeover montage everyone is so used to seeing her in red bull gear and a ponytail every damn day the second she puts on an outfit everyones like HELLO?????

Valtteri: used to be permanently in the low pony tail and attempting to dress acceptably business casual woman enough for things but after she left merc just embraced being a butch. has the same mullet as guy val. hallelujah

Guanyu: suuuuuch a fashion girl and absolutely rules instagram and weibo..........always doing photoshoots and stuff. experiments with cute hairstyles a lot, but always keeps her bangs ☝️

Alex: used to be super plain like wore big hoodies and just left her hair long and straight and hanging there until one day she got the chop+undercut going on.......now shes well aware shes everyones ideal boyfriend if he were a girlfriend.

Logan: my florida girl......my natural blonde with her little ponytail.....when she was growing up her parents definitely put her shirts like this

Lando: she is a racing driver as much as she is an influencer.............people discourse about if shes fanservicing like every 2 seconds. girl gamer and proud.

Oscar: she lives in gym clothes. nike pros or leggings every day with the most boring shirt. never does her hair or wears makeup

KMag: best mom everrrrrrr 🫶

Nico: she talks openly about how men are very intimidated by her. she is indeed kind of scary.

#ask #genderbend

[nyoomerr]

For the drabble request, I can never get enough shixiong!SY bingqiu. But only if you're up to it :)

ok it turns out i'm fundamentally unable to write a drabble as short as theyre meant to be, so here's over 4k words of shixiong!sy for your perusal 🤡 (+ a decent helping of cranky peak lord sqq and his wayward head disciple sy)

---

Shen Yuan… has possibly let himself become a bit too relaxed, since he first transmigrated. He used to spend every day on high alert: every cute little kid might be the protagonist, every mistake he made might have been logged somewhere for a petty revenge side plot later. He wouldn’t dare miss anything plot relevant, not when it might cause his doom. After all, ‘Shen Yuan’ wasn’t even a named character within PIDW - he was well and truly canon fodder!

But then, ah… Then Shen Yuan was accepted as a disciple on Qing Jing, and then he was a personal disciple of the notorious Shen Qingqiu, and then - 

Well, not even Shen Yuan can keep up that sort of hyper vigilance all the time, okay!! He’s the scum villain’s head disciple - basically a henchman! If he lived in fear for every moment he might be condemned, he’d never have a second to rest!

It isn’t Shen Yuan’s fault that the best way to relax in this world is to go on years-long expeditions off peak! 

…It might, maybe, be just a tiny bit my fault, Shen Yuan thinks, staring at Luo Binghe with horror. How does he manage to take such a long vacation that he misses the protagonist’s arrival onto Qing Jing? What kind of fake fan is he, ah?!

Luo Binghe has not introduced himself as such, but there is no way he can be anyone but Luo Binghe. His hair falls into perfect curls around a face so cute and round Shen Yuan wants to squish his cheeks until they turn pink, and he’s wearing an expression so determined and focused that it puts Shen Yuan to shame as the head disciple.

And he’s chopping wood. That’s the most recognizable part, obviously. 

Shen Yuan forces himself to step forward into the small glade he found Luo Binghe in, clearing his throat awkwardly. Luo Binghe whips around, and Shen Yuan nearly cringes at the nervous apprehension on the boy’s face.

“Ah, I didn’t mean to startle you…” Shen Yuan trails off. Luo Binghe stares at him and says nothing. Shen Yuan’s perfectly nice and friendly smile starts to slip. “I don’t think I’ve seen you around before…?”

“Apologies to Shixiong, this one will be sure to cut wood further away from the main peak buildings, so Shixiong doesn’t have to see me again.”

“Wha - wait, wait, that’s not what I meant!” Shen Yuan cries, becoming increasingly concerned about just how long he’s been away from Qing Jing. 

For Luo Binghe to already be this wary of any Shixiong who looks his way… ah, Shen Yuan has basically already failed every single one of his loose plans to keep Luo Binghe from blackening! He wasn’t even there to witness Luo Binghe’s initial perfect white sheep days, let alone keep him out of the warpath of bullies and bitter Shizuns!

“This Shixiong is Shen Yuan,” he says, taking a few slow steps closer to Luo Binghe. Somehow, he gets the feeling that he has to be ready to catch Luo Binghe by the scruff if he tries to run off or start a fight while Shen Yuan is just trying to introduce himself, ah!

“This one is Luo Binghe,” Luo Binghe replies, dipping into a perfunctory bow.

“Yes!” Shen Yuan says. “I mean - well, it’s a good name.”

Luo Binghe’s expression only grows more wary. 

“And ah, how long has Luo Binghe been on the peak?” Shen Yuan asks, even though the look Luo Binghe is giving him makes him want to slink back off into the bamboo forest. He has to know - if he’s lucky, it’ll only have been a year or two, and Shen Yuan can -

“This one has been a disciple of Qing Jing for over three years, now,” Luo Binghe says.

“Hm!” Shen Yuan says, because what he really wants to do is yell but he can’t do that with this customer service smile plastered on his face. 

Inwardly, he allows himself to monologue out a list of swears that would’ve gotten his old online accounts temporarily locked. Over three years is too long!! The blackening has already started!! Luo Binghe has already started damaging his meridians by following that cursed fake manual, has already started training under Meng Mo, and most importantly has already given up hope of being accepted here and started farming resentment instead!

Shen Yuan is fucked!! What sort of half-assed blackening prevention plan starts this late!?

“Ah, so Luo-shidi must already be 15, or nearly there,” Shen Yuan says aloud, laughing nervously. “Are you, um, sure?”

Please, please tell this pitiful Shixiong of yours that you just misspoke!!

Luo Binghe looks at him like he’s an idiot. Shen Yuan can feel nervous sweat beading along his forehead.

“It’s just - well, Luo-shidi is quite small, for being 15,” Shen Yuan says, and then nearly bites his tongue in an attempt to correct himself. Who is he to call the protagonist ‘small,’ ah!! “Not quite small! Only a bit! Only - uh, only slightly smaller than I’d expect! It’s only that I’m already 19, and Luo-shidi is much - I mean only a little! - shorter than I am, so -”

Shen Yuan makes himself shut up. You’re making a fool of yourself in front of the protagonist, you idiot!

“This one will be sure to train more to get bigger,” Luo Binghe says, though it sounds a bit like he’s talking through gritted teeth.

“No, no, you’re training plenty!” Shen Yuan rushes to say. “Uh, that is - admittedly, I’ve been off peak for some time now, but when I was Luo-shidi’s age, things like chopping wood were a group chore, so if you’re managing it all by yourself, surely you’re… big and strong…”

Shen Yuan shuts up again. Luo Binghe stares at him some more, but there’s something in his expression that seems more considering that it had been just a moment ago.

After a long stretch of awkward silence, he seems to come to some sort of resolution, and takes a hesitant step towards Shen Yuan.

“Forgive this one’s ignorance,” he says, slow and careful. “The other Shixiong said it was a chore best done alone to build strength. Is that wrong?”

“Very wrong,” Shen Yuan says, nearly beside himself with relief. 

Good, very good! Luo Binghe hasn’t lost all hope for his time on Qing Jing Peak just yet, after all! Given the chance, he’ll still try to carefully raise the issue of his bullying to a responsible Shixiong to take care of!

Shen Yuan can so be a responsible Shixiong that takes care of reports of bullying for Luo Binghe!!

“Oh,” Luo Binghe says, edging even closer to Shen Yuan. “Then what does Shen-shixiong think I should do?”

“Luo-shidi doesn’t have to do anything about this,” Shen Yuan says firmly. “This Shixiong will take care of finding out who’s meant to be sharing this chore with you and make them do the rest of it.”

“There might be multiple people,” Luo Binghe offers, still speaking with a caution that makes it quite clear how likely he thinks it is that Shen Yuan’s assistance will vanish as soon as Luo Binghe complains too much. 

“Because Luo-shidi has been made to do this chore alone for many days, now?” Shen Yuan asks. 

Still looking a bit wary, Luo Binghe nods. Shen Yuan sighs, having expected that answer, and takes the final steps needed to get within arm’s reach of Luo Binghe. Luo Binghe watches him closely, his hands curling tighter around the ax he’d been using to chop the wood. 

Moving slowly so as not to spook him, Shen Yuan raises one hand to place gently on Luo Binghe’s head. He really is too short for 15, but Shen Yuan knows all the details of ‘why’ - having to work too hard with not enough rest, having meals withheld from him or being served with spoilt ingredients - any kid would be a bit small, when under those conditions.

Luo Binghe had gone stiff under Shen Yuan’s touch, and Shen Yuan takes a moment to pet the top of his head for a moment before saying anything else, hoping to get Luo Binghe to relax again. 

Ah, I really did mean to try and keep you safe, Shen Yuan thinks to himself, feeling regretful. He’d come to Cang Qiong with the intention of finding Luo Binghe early, after all, and had worked as hard as he had in order to be ready for Luo Binghe when he came.

But then he had worked too hard, and Shen Qingqiu had promoted him to head disciple, and suddenly Shen Yuan thought he might go insane if he wasn’t able to get off Qing Jing Peak and stay off for as long as he could possibly get away with, and - 

How stupid of him. Luo Binghe must have been taken in during the disciple selection the very same year that Shen Yuan had taken off on his extended field trip. How very, very stupid of Shen Yuan, to think that things wouldn’t go upside down the second he looked away - this is Luo Binghe’s story, after all, and it’s always been a bit of a tragedy.

“Then this Shixiong can only apologize to you,” Shen Yuan says softly, with perhaps just a bit too much sincerity. “And in the future, if you’re given this sort of work again, I’ll chop wood in your place.”

Under his hand, Luo Binghe peers up at Shen Yuan with wide, hungry eyes. Shen Yuan gives him a final pat before withdrawing his hand, and plasters his friendly smile back on his face. 

“Now, why don’t you get cleaned up, hm? I’ll meet you again later - this Shixiong of yours still needs to report back to Shizun that I’ve returned from my trip.”

Luo Binghe nods, still watching Shen Yuan with an intensity that would feel more at home on an emperor than a scrawny 15 year old, and Shen Yuan beats a hasty retreat.

Despite all the pretty promises he made to Luo Binghe, he’s going to have to think of something clever to actually be able to fulfill them.

After all, not even all of his meta knowledge combined would be able to save Shen Yuan from his Shizun.

---

Shen Yuan has been pacing outside Shen Qingqiu’s bamboo house for ten minutes now. Nothing he can think of is good enough to convince someone as petty and stubborn as Shen Qingqiu. 

Once, at the start of his time on Qing Jing Peak, Shen Yuan had tied his disciple robes wrong, unused to wearing anything quite so complex. Shen Qingqiu had sneered at his mistake in the moment, and then for every major event in the next five years straight he’d made a point to comment snidely on how well Shen Yuan has managed to dress himself.

That’s the sort of mean streak this man has!! If he doesn’t like something, he’ll keep harping on that one thing for years, even after that thing isn’t around to bother him anymore! How is Shen Yuan supposed to coax Luo Binghe out of the jaws of a man like that?

Ah, forget it, forget it! Shen Yuan would just - he’d come back another day! Greeting Shen Qingqiu wasn’t really necessary, Shen Yuan could just -

“I was under the impression that Shen Yuan was a head disciple returning from field work, not a child trying to avoid bedtime.”

Shen Yuan whips around, the hair on the back of his neck standing on end like a spooked cat. There, kneeling elegantly on his front porch not ten meters from Shen Yuan, is Shen Qingqiu.

“Shizun!” Shen Yuan cries, trying to force his grimace into a nice, polite smile. “When did - I mean - this disciple means -”

Shen Qingqiu closes his fan with a harsh snap, and Shen Yuan shuts his mouth so fast he almost bites his tongue.

“Well?” Shen Qingqiu asks dryly, and Shen Yuan hurriedly drops into a bow. 

“This disciple greets Shizun!” Shen Yuan shouts, his ears burning with embarrassment. 

Shen Qingqiu hums, and Shen Yuan risks peeking out from his bow to look at him. 

He does not look especially pleased.

With all the elegance of a wild cat, Shen Qingqiu unfolds himself from his kneeling position on the porch and glides over to Shen Yuan. 

“Too low,” he says, slapping at Shen Yuan’s wrists with his fan. “Or was Shen Yuan hoping there would be a replacement head disciple waiting for him by the time he came back from his trip?”

“Ahahaha,” Shen Yuan wheezes, carefully correcting himself into a bow of a slightly higher ranked disciple than the one he’d originally slipped into. “Of course this disciple is honored by the position and very very grateful for Shizun’s benevolence in leaving it to him even during his absence…”

“What advice does Shen Yuan think his Shizun has for him?” Shen Qingqiu asks sharply, and Shen Yuan winces.

“‘Talk less,’ Shizun,” he recites dutifully. It is advice that Shen Qingqiu has given him many, many times.

Shen Qingqiu sniffs haughtily and walks a slow circle around Shen Yuan, inspecting him. Shen Yuan tries not to sweat too profusely. He really had been hoping that Shen Qingqiu may have forgotten about Shen Yuan in his years away, ah!

Finally, Shen Qingqiu completes his inspection, stopping once more in front of Shen Yuan. 

“What sort of pathetic creature has Shen Yuan carved the bones of to make his hairpiece?” He asks, using his fan to prod at Shen Yuan’s hairpin.

“A Hundred Year Crystal Tortoise, Shizun,” Shen Yuan answers.

“And the leather of your belt?”

“A Golden-Footed Acidic Bear, Shizun.”

“And did you even bother to remove the -”

“- the needle hairs beneath the Bear’s skin before treating the pelt,” Shen Yuan interrupts. “Yes, Shizun.”

Shen Qingqiu scoffs. “How bold you’ve gotten, interrupting your Shizun.”

“...Sorry, Shizun,” Shen Yuan mumbles, deflating a bit.

“Still,” Shen Qingqiu sighs, and Shen Yuan peeks back up at him again. “You did decent enough, I suppose.”

Shen Yuan perks up, half-standing up out of his bow. “Thanking Shizun -!”

Shen Qingqiu whacks him over the head with his fan. “If Shen Yuan’s trip had been only a single year, instead of nearly four!”

Shen Yuan very quickly gets back into the proper deferential position. 

“Fleeing so quickly after being promoted, only to stay away for this long - I hope Shen Yuan is comfortable sleeping on the ground, because I’ve long since given up keeping the side room in my house for an absent head disciple. I filled it with cursed artifacts and dusty books two years ago.”

“Shizun -!” Shen Yuan protests, starting to stand up again. He’d liked that little room, damn it! It was the one decent part of being promoted to head disciple in the first place, even if it meant sharing a roof with this asshole!!

Shen Qingqiu whacks him again, and Shen Yuan obediently shuts up.

“Foolish boy,” he scolds, before promptly turning on his heel to stalk back to the bamboo house. “Hurry up, then,” he calls behind him, “I want to see if you still make tea as dreadfully as you did before.”

Shen Yuan makes a face at Shen Qingqiu’s back. Without looking behind him, Shen Qingqiu uses his qi to send a single leaf flying to Shen Yuan’s head, slapping him on the forehead right over where Shen Yuan’s brows had bunched together.

Shen Yuan smooths his face out into a perfectly polite smile once more. This asshole, he curses inwardly, he really is scum!! The lowest of the low!! A bully!!!

“Tea, Shen Yuan,” Shen Qingqiu calls once more, and Shen Yuan hurries to catch up.

---

Later, after Shen Yuan has dutifully given a retelling of his adventures over the last few years, and after Shen Qingqiu has grilled him on every mistake he made and how stupid that was of him and how shitty his tea still tastes, Shen Yuan finally manages to bring up Luo Binghe.

“This disciple met someone new this morning,” he says, pouring Shen Qingqiu more of his apparently awful tea. 

“Was Shen Yuan sure they were new? Perhaps it’s been so many years your brain has started to forget the faces of the idiots here in favor of whatever foolish beasts you’ve been studying.”

“Someone new,” Shen Yuan confirms, pretending to ignore Shen Qingqiu’s very pointed glare. “He was a disciple even younger than Ning-shimei, and you only picked her out the year before I left.”

“Ah,” Shen Qingqiu says, and all of a sudden Shen Yuan thinks that perhaps his Shizun has never been truly irritated with him in the past, because this expression is far more acidic than anything Shen Yuan has seen before.

“A-ah…?” Shen Yuan says, stupidly.

Shen Jiu sets his cup down with a harsh clink. “Shen Yuan should ignore that little beast. He won’t bring you any good news.”

“Shizun, this disciple likes beasts best,” Shen Yuan says. “Is he so bad?”

“Ignore him,” Shen Qingqiu repeats frostily. 

Shen Yuan swallows. This… there’s no way that he’ll be able to convince Shen Qingqiu to give Luo Binghe an honest shot in this one conversation. He can’t bet on being able to eventually wear him down, though, either - even if he does eventually convince him, if it takes a year to do it, that’s also not any good. Shen Yuan needs to be able to help Luo Binghe now.

Okay. This is fine. Shen Yuan has - he has so many very good ideas, all of them very well thought out and full of strategic benefits. He can use any one of these very good and smart ideas.

“I understand, Shizun,” Shen Yuan says, “That beast won’t be a shidi of mine, then.”

“Good, now -”

“But what about as a pet?”

Shen Qingqiu stares at him. Shen Yuan stares back.

“A pet,” Shen Qingqiu repeats. 

“A pet,” Shen Yuan agrees. “Shizun, I already said that I like beasts best - if I can’t raise Luo Binghe to be my shidi, can’t I raise him as my pet instead?”

“Don’t be foolish,” Shen Qingqiu snaps. “Beasts aren’t for keeping.”

“Sometimes they are - Cang Qiong has a whole peak dedicated to such a thing,” Shen Yuan points out. Shen Qingqiu’s scowl grows more fierce. 

“Qing Jing is above such dirty work,” he spits.

Shen Yuan swallows again, his hands clenched tightly in his lap. He’s already started down this path; he may as well place all his bets on making it through.

“Then perhaps Qing Jing is not for this disciple after all,” Shen Yuan says, trying to keep his voice steady. It still comes out a bit reedy, but at the very least, his voice doesn’t crack over the words. 

Shen Qingqiu’s eye twitches. “Speak plainly - Shen Yuan has already spent several years neglecting his duties. How much farther do you intend to stray?”

“Shizun so graciously held the position of head disciple open for this one,” Shen Yuan hedges. “On that topic, isn’t it possible for head disciples to choose to spend a decade or so on a different peak of their choice, to encourage diversity in education and cross-peak relationships before the head disciple becomes beholden to their peak as a lord? Perhaps I could take in a pet on a different peak, with such a method.”

“That’s a custom reserved for older disciples,” Shen Qingqiu spits, “intended to benefit them in the years directly leading up to their ascension as a peak lord, not when the head disciple is just a little whelp with a century ahead of them before they can wear a lord’s crown.”

“No such rule is written anywhere, Shizun.”

“Then I’ll write it,” Shen Qingqiu hisses. “Shen Yuan, you’ve had your fun these past years - now you are to stay on this peak.”

“Then I want a pet,” Shen Yuan says, tilting his head up defiantly. “It’ll benefit Shizun, too: you won’t have to feed or clothe him anymore, nor train him to be a cultivator.”

Not that you were doing any of those things for Luo Binghe before, ah!! Shen Yuan thinks, trying to focus on that feeling of indignation. If he just thinks about that - about the horror of coming across Luo Binghe in that clearing earlier, too scrawny to be 15 and yet wary enough of the world he may as well have been an adult - then Shen Yuan can hold his ground. 

If he just thinks about Luo Binghe as a neglected kid, and he just thinks of Shen Qingqiu as that child’s abuser -

If he just thinks about that, then Shen Yuan can meet the eyes of the man who has taught him and promoted him and housed him in the side room of his house, and he can demand this one thing.

“With what funds would Shen Yuan be able to feed and clothe his pet?” Shen Qingqiu asks sharply. “With what free time would he train him not to bite?”

“This one is the head disciple of Qing Jing Peak,” Shen Yuan says. “If a head disciple couldn’t manage that much, they certainly couldn’t deserve to ascend as a peak lord in the future.”

Shen Qingqiu falls silent, unfurling his fan and raising it high up his face until only his eyes peered out the top of it, watching Shen Yuan. Shen Yuan’s hands twist in his lap, but he keeps his gaze steady.

“A head disciple does not run away from the position,” Shen Qingqiu says. 

“Nor does a master run off from their pet,” Shen Yuan agrees.

There’s another moment of quiet as they both watch each other. When Shen Qingqiu speaks again, his voice is firm, like someone reciting basic peak rules and not the terms of the most batshit insane agreement Shen Yuan has ever brokered.

“You will stay on Qing Jing,” Shen Qingqiu says, “and you will accept the head discipleship position without fuss.”

“Yes, Shizun.”

“No more trips. No more pretending to forget to introduce yourself as my head disciple. No more pushing your pathetic disciple brothers at me with paperwork that you clearly filled out in some sort of foolish scheme to have me consider them over you.”

Shen Yuan winces. “Yes, Shizun.”

“You will not receive any additional allowance, for any reason, outside of the funds normally provided to a head disciple. Any pests you pick up will not sleep in my house, nor will you be allowed to request room in the dormitories for any such creature. Those resources are for disciples, not beasts.”

Shen Yuan hesitates. Luo Binghe can’t sleep in the rundown woodshed forever, and he wants to protest the idea that the dorms are for disciples, as if Luo Binghe was ever allowed in there in the first place.

Shen Qingqiu taps one finger on the table. “Answer, Shen Yuan.”

“This disciple agrees under one condition,” Shen Yuan says. “Using his personal funds, this disciple would like to request permission to make moderate renovations to a peak structure in order to improve the quality of kept wood.”

Shen Qingqiu scoffs. “Disciple Shen Yuan’s personal funds will be drained by feeding an animal - you will not be able to afford the standards that Qing Jing exacts for renovation projects.”

“This disciple has been collecting favors from An Ding. They will be repaid, and this disciple will be able to afford the project.”

“Shen Yuan had best not be caught collecting any such favors forcibly,” Shen Qingqiu warns, which is very distinctly a ‘don’t get caught blackmailing people’ warning and not a blanket ‘don’t blackmail people’ one.

“Of course,” Shen Yuan agrees. “This one is the personal disciple of Peak Lord Shen Qingqiu - how could I get caught in such a way?”

Read: you’ve made sure I understand how to not get caught when doing something shady, at the very least!!

Shen Qingqiu waves his fan once, twice - he’s irritated, but doesn’t necessarily disagree.

“Fine,” he says at last. “Permission for a renovation to that ugly woodshed is granted. And Shen Yuan’s answer to all other stipulations?”

“This disciple agrees.”

Shen Qingqiu slaps his fan closed in one palm. “Then Shen Yuan is allowed a pet. I won’t interfere further.”

Shen Yuan nods. He expected as much; Shen Qingqiu won’t egg on any further bullying, nor will he stop Shen Yuan from taking any measures he pleases when it comes to Luo Binghe, but he won’t help Shen Yuan dissuade the current bullying.

That’s fine - already, this is enough to help Luo Binghe.

“Thanking Shizun,” Shen Yuan says, bowing his head slightly. “This disciple will not disappoint.”

After all, how hard could raising the protagonist be? This world revolves around Luo Binghe; all Shen Yuan needs to do is make Luo Binghe’s everyday life a bit less miserable, give him just one person he can trust. Luo Binghe will manage the rest himself, by nature of being who he is - what he is. 

Yes, this - this is the best way.

---

Outside the bamboo house, crouched beneath a window so still his muscles ache and his head feels woozy from how shallow he’s kept his breathing, Luo Binghe listens to his Shizun and Shixiong move on to discuss cleaning out the side room now that Shen Yuan has returned to the peak.

A pet, he thinks, his eyes blown wide, his fingers digging deep into the ground beneath his knees. He can feel dirt caking the underside of his fingernails, and the scars he leaves in the ground are very much like an animal, indeed.

A pet, he thinks again, over and over on loop in his mind, his pretty Shixiong’s voice fading to background noise. He thinks of Shen Yuan gently patting his head like one might coax a dog, and he thinks -

Yes, a pet.

#please forgive any grammar/flow issues w this if i tried to edit it i would have come to you w a 6k oneshot instead of a 4k one LMFAO #i'll probs clean it up and post it on ao3 after rent a bingge is done! for now tho enjoy uwu #svsss #bingqiu #scum villain's self saving system #fic drabble

[just-some-random-blogger]

AHHHH

Can I request a Matt smith x reader where in real life theyre married and in the show theyre hot sibling lovers 🥵🥵 anyways 👀 theyre doing a bunch of press junkets, interviews, games, etc. and its sooo fluffy☺️ and domestic☺️ and I just want to envision my life with Matt smith 😭

+ some star points if an interviewer asks about their 😏 scenes and they get really embarrassed but cute 🥰🥰😫😫😫☺️

I Can't Help It

Matt Smith x (ME PLS I WANTHIM) Actress!Reader

Summary: The tumblr girlies were absolutely wrecked when they found out their resident girlboss was dating their superwholock tumblr boy.

Word Count: 1k+

Warnings: Crackfic, i use y/n im sorry im not that strong, head empty only matt, a bunch of made up stuff because plot!, fluff, typos, etc.

A/N: NAH ANON YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW EXCITED I WAS WHEN I SAW THIS I WAS LIKE I GOTTA ZOOM THROUGH ALL MY REQS FOR THIS IASFHASFAS. i swear my anons and i share the same brain fr we all just want the same loser dont we PLSSSSSS [foams in the mouth] Also, idk if you've ever read any of my chris evans fics, but what you want me to do for matt is what i did for him & IM ABOUT TO HAVE A FIELD DAY IM ON CRACK HELLO ALSO ALSO, i get you probably meant they're targaryen sibling/lovers, cause otherwise ALFHKAFA MISS ME W THAT BS, but i decided on doing something different all together so lolol i hope you like it nonnie <3 idk what you feel about matt smith but im still going to tag you anyway holla Tagging: @pinksirensong what do you feel about matt smith HAHAHAHAAHHA

It all started with this tweet that was prompted during a brief interaction at a movie premiere:

@fannygurl007: yeah but matt smith and y/n interacted for 20 seconds and i want them to get married and have babies [clip attached]

being liked by Matt's mom.

Then all hell broke lose.

And hell hath no mercy.

It lead with intense investigations of:

@ihave100problems retweeted: AWFHASL:FHAH WHAT THE FUCK DID THEY WHISPER TO EACH OTHER?!?!? 👹👹👹 @thedoctorswife retweeted: IN FRONT OF MY SINGLE ASS?? THEY FLIRTED IN FRONT OF *MY* SINGLE ASS??? JAIL @mattsmithbithc retweeted: "Oh, I think you look so pretty ------- yeah, that's great -----" HELP WHAT ELSE DID SHE SAY @mattsmithbithc replied: I THINK SHE SAID SMTH ABOUT HIS SUIT BUT IDK WHAT SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP @tennantsmith1 retweeted: you really can't trust men look at the way he's looking at her. i bet it was love at first sight for him. was anything between us even real </3 @mmmyehs retweeted: what's that? my matt smith and y/n cutouts gon sleep outside? I HOPE YOU KEEP EACH OTHER WARM IN HELL @y/nloml666 retweeted: NAH NAH NAH BUT MY BISEXUAL ASS WANTS TO BE IN BETWEEN THAT SANDWHICH @datass00 replied: me watching that vid like [image attached below]

Then these things popped up on youtube:

proof matt smith and y/n have been dating all along 🤡🤡

Clip #1

I stick my hand in a jar and pull out a folded piece of paper. "Who's my celebrity crush," I read out the question, turning back to the camera, "I have long list," I refold the paper as I push it beneath my seat, "and the unfortunate king of that, currently, is Matt Smith."

*cut to a bunch of 🤡🤡🤡 and really loud background music*

One of the staff asks, off camera, "why unfortunate?"

"Well," I chuckle, crossing my arms, "if you know me, then you know when I like something so, so much, I end up hating it." I straighten up, "yeah, Matt Smith may or may not have been subjected to verbal abuse as of late."

I chuckle as I hear a few of the staff wheeze.

I raise a hand and cut through the air, "affectionately, affectionately."

Clip #2

There is an abrupt cut to a sound of a crowd cheering.

Matt leans in, scrunching his face as he brings the mic close to his lips, "sorry, love, what was that?"

*The clip is replayed twice and captioned [IM SORRY THE WAY HE SAID THAT WAS JUST SO HOT I HAD TO REPEAT IT]*

The crowd is gracious enough to quiet down, keeping their fangirling internal.

"Is there an actor or actress that you have not yet worked with but always wanted to?" the lucky fan asks her question again.

Matt hums, leaning back on his sofa chair, repeating the words for good measure. He pulls the mic away as he thinks, then brings it back, "you know what, I have been lucky enough to work with some amazing people," he starts, "but-"

The crowd cheers.

Matt smiles and releases a chuckle, waving the mic around, "but," he carefully says, "I have recently watched Vampire in the Locker for the first time."

The crowd cheers again.

"Yeah, and thought y/n was absolutely fabulous in it."

Someone in the crowd says loudly, "same!"

The crowd, along with Matt, laughs. He straightens up and points, "that person gets it!"

But what it really took was this Instagram post to destroy the internet:

@imthebesty/n: ok but you cant get mad a me, i was there during superwholock. at least one of us won!! ps, he's a horrible cook, i promise you don't want him. i took one for the team 😇

That paired with headlines like:

Y/N confirms relationship with Matt Smith on Instagram with hilarious caption

Matt Smith cooks horribly, according to girlfriend, Y/N, who confirmed rumors with Instagram post

"I took one for the team," Y/N says in Instagram post, referring to dating Matt Smith

Tumblr but all stayed sane:

winchester-pie: Are you normal, or are you losing your mind overthinking one of the superwholock girlies is secretly y/n 369,278 notes dont-talk3me: When I gaslight people, it's bad, when y/n gaslights people, it's taking one for the team? 16,586 notes uowbish: I'm gonna say it: I DONT CARE THAT YOU'RE DATING MATT SMITH YOU SHOULD BE DATING ME [image attatched] 99,345 notes sh3l0ck3D: thinking about how y/n once said that she wrote fanfiction that was popular online. i should have known it was superwholock, she unhinged as fuck. 836,084 y/nb00tyluv: OK but i genuinely think y/n and matt smith talked for 5 minutes then decided to date after that 74,670 notes prettyeyebrows: ok but tell me y/n doesn't look like the type to make memes like this [image attached below] 424,245 notes

The cherry on top was when Vogue magazine graced the world with this brilliant interview:

I introduce myself and turn to my side, smiling at the man next to me.

"I'm Matt, and today we-"

"Smith."

Matt turns to me, words going dry.

"You're Matt Smith," I correct, blinking at him.

Matt looks at me for a good moment then raises a hand between our faces, turning back to the camera, "and today, we're going to be-" he cuts himself off with a laugh when he hears me laughing.

He drops his hand and gives me a look before continuing, "we're going to be answering some questions for-"

Matt points to me so that I finish his sentence.

"Vogue magazine!" I say, making the man beside me clap his hands.

The most played part of that interview is this scene:

Matt is reading from a card, "if you could have something of the other's, what would it be?" He chucks the card away, turning to me just as I turn to him.

I mutter under my breath as I think, "something of the other's?"

Matt furrows pouts his lips out in thought.

A beat of silence passes.

We then simultaneously trail off as we both whisper, "like a baby."

I wheeze and lean into Matt, dying of laughter. He snorts and beams like a boy on Christmas, dropping his jaw low.

"No," I warn as I raise a finger through my chuckles, "behave."

Matt throws an arm around me as he lets out more deep laughs.

"The fact we both keep answering the same thing means me hang out too much."

He scoffs. "Clearly not enough though," Matt notes, making me glare at him and shake him off. He withdraws his arm, face still awfully pleased.

I give him a look, "your mother has been ingraining that ideation in your head too religiously."

"I mean," he grabs my hand. He looks at me for 3 whole seconds before sighing and saying, "you would make a great mother."

I purse my lips and sighing as well. I lean into him a bit as I softly admit, "and I think you would make a great father."

For a moment, the two of us look at each other.

I pull my hand away from him, moving to grab another card.

Here are a few of the most liked comments on that video:

Jason Stone: I have absolutely no idea who either of these people are and only watched this video because it autoplayed. Do I want them to get married and have babies though? Yes. Yes I do. 88.9k likes kpopinmybloodstream: matt the entire video:😍🥰😘 y/n the entire video: 😍🥰😘 me the entire video: 😍🥰😘 but single as fock 🤡🤡🤡 103k likes sowrr88: if i cant have what they have, i dont want it 94k likes

#matt smith #matt smith fanfic #matt smith fluff #matt smith crackfic #matt smith x reader #matt smith fanfiction #matt smith my nemesis #matt smith x you #matt smith x actress!reader #rpf fanfic #house of the dragon fanfic #daemon targaryen fanfic #im dead #dont wake me up #the delusion is real

[isagrimorie]

in case you still were unsure, the photo of the three female convicts is definitely AI! a few things i can list without thinking too much cause im a sleepy fella:

-the tattoos are all nonsense

-they would not have access to heavy makeup, hair styling products, and the hours of free time those looks require if they were in prison uniforms (they're not really, they're in tight orange t-shirts because it's "sexier", but they wouldn't all be wearing them if it weren't MEANT to be a uniform)

-there are a ton of supposed convicts in the photo with no security around

-the bench is just full of sexy convicts, and none of the legal staff that should be there

-theyre practically identical feature-wise, it would be nearly impossible for them not to be related; if this clickbait video contained a set of relatives being sentenced together, they would be using that fact more explicitly, as part of the bait

-if you watch the video they aren't there

-the "camera" is a weirdly high, glossy quality with an artistic angle and framing. it is not composed like a normal courtroom photograph

-it also can't be a painting, both due to the first reason listed (an artist of this caliber would paint real dang tattoos), and because this would be a several hundred dollar art piece commission & this is a cheap clickbait video someone edited from footage they don't own

-if you look through that channels videos you'll probably find a thumbnail somewhere that you CAN recognize as ai, and from there you can see all kinds of similarities to ones like this where you couldn't

ai art is definitely 'improving', but beyond just visual flaws, critical thinking and research can still help a lot with identifying it as it advances (but i know that's kind of a pain in the ass for most people lol, im just autistic and overanalyze everything anyway, figured i may as well lend that trait out to others who need it)

Thank you for validating my hunch! I thought they were too alike and had the plastic sheen of a CGI character at its second pass!

Honestly disturbing. Because we know technology improves and I hate where it’s going.

#ai generated