#cis girl talks trans issues

[rez-urrection]

hey a post about transmisogyny !! I sure hope the poster doesn't deliberately say trans and cis men can not be the victim of genital sexualization, sexual or verbal harrasment, fetishization or violence !

*reads*

oh :(

#guys you can talk about transmisogeny without saying trans men arent over sexualized #we are. acknowledging transmisogeny or any type of transphobia for that matter should never include denial of another trans person's - #experience with transphobia. #if at any point your argument goes into “well this doesnt happen to x group” stop #and think ! #“does this not happen at all #or have i just never seen it?“ #“have i done enough research on this topic to say without reasonable doubt that this does not happen to x group #and only happens to y group?“ #“have i talked to members of x group about their experience with this issue to verify if its something that does or does not happen?” #if at any point your answers are lackluster #stop ! #and do your research ! talk to people apart of these communities which you are saying do not suffer ! #obviously this isnt saying transmisogeny isnt real #but if your only way to talk about transmisogeny is to put down other trans people and act like they do not experience any transphobia or #sexualization/fetishization of their bodies #then i hate to break it to you #but not only are you not an ally to trans women #you are not an ally to any trans person #divided we collapse. do not act like other trans people do not suffer. #also #because i forgot to add this on any of the other tags #stop acting like cis men cant be sexualized either #its extremely isolating and upsetting as a trans person to read post after post about how trans men dont suffer at all and nonbinary people #dont suffer enough and how trans men and nonbinary people arent sexualized at all #you forget the entire world sees us as ditzy confused girls that need fixing or amab nonbinary people as just boy lite #in conclusion #trans women can suffer at the same time and for similar reasons as trans men #and it will still be important #there is zero reason to say trans men do not suffer to annunciate an issue in transmisogyny

[spookyboywhump]

Honestly Zander is so me with deadnames tbh because I FORGOT MY OWN DEADNAME ONCE 😭😭😭

WHAT A MOOD AIDKADJKAHDKSHSK I have to use mine every day for work but sometimes I’m still like. Who the fuck is that?????

#guy at work once referred to me as a girl and I was like #who is he talking about????? #Zander loves trans people so much his brain automatically deletes deadnames from his memory #he. also just has ADHD based memory issues. #but he also loves trans people so #Eli finds this extremely funny zander has gotta be one of his favorite Cis guys of all time #anonymous

[hneycmb]

I'm sorry but I am really laughing trying to visualize the world that OP lives in where GNC cis people are genuinely punished for not becoming trans lol. Literally who has ever caught a callout post for simply being cis and GNC.

#i have a feeling that the egg comment is referring to that one tweet where a trans woman makes an egg joke abt a guy using womens deoderant #which was like. largely blown out of proportion by the majority of this site #especially considering that transmascs on here make jokes about weird little girls growing up to be men all the time #and never seem to get the same flak for it #nobody is forcefemming the gnc cis men lol please focus on real world issues #talking

[tesco-finest-aromantics]

okay we must pass better than i think if some our friends forget that we're trans and just think we're a cis guy instead

#blurry/unknown #we were talking about queer stuff and our friend starts talking about trans issues #so i chimed in and she asked why we seem to know so much about being trans #so i said that of course we know a lot because we're trans #and then they said 'oh shit i'm so sorry i forgot you were trans i just thought you were a cis guy' #this is even funnier considering we go to an all girls school #cause like cis guys cannot attend here #but sure i guess we're the exception /j

[nothorses]

I think one of the ways that tranandrophobia seems to distinguish itself from the other forms of oppression it is connected to is in the way it attempts to convince you it is indistinguishable and that transmascs are always just collateral damage to everyone else's "real" problems.

One example is the very blatent tirf claim that transphobia on its own isn't real, that it is all misdirected transmisogyny, and that transmascs only experience oppression due to our association with transfemmes.

But there is also the insistence that anti abortion laws and similar things are targeted at cis women and therefore are "women's issues" - transmascs shouldn't complain about being excluded because it "isn't about us". Same with homophobia and butchphobia. Even the terf talking point that they are just protecting "little cis girls" from making irreversible mistakes pretends that actual the transmascs being harmed is just an accident and not the goal.

Trying to talk about transandrophobia is a constant stream of "It's just transphobia. It's just misogyny. No, you can't call your experiences misogyny because that isn't about you. You can't call yourself a lesbian or a butch or compare your oppression to lesbophobia. It isn't about you. Yes, terfs hurt you, but you aren't their main target. This isn't about you. Yes, you need abortions and experience medical misogyny, but you can't talk about it because this isn't about you. You were sexually assaulted because of misdirecred misogyny. Don't make it about you. You've never contributed to the history of gay men, or lesbians, or the trans community. It isn't about you. Those cross dressers weren't trans. Stop trying to make women's history about you. You can't reclaim cunt or faggot or dyke because those words aren't about you. I don't care how many times you've been called a tranny. That word isn't about you. Why must you make everything about you?"

Because sure, transmascs exist, and we might be impacted by everyone else's oppression, but it is always thought of as a theoretical consequence of what is really going on, if it is thought of at all. Transmascs are not considered to be oppressed in our own right.

This idea gives the lawmakers plausible deniability, allies an excuse to ignore us, and feeds into transmasc erasure. If we are never the actual target to begin with, then clearly, we can't be uniquely targeted. The law makers don't need to be held accountable for their transandrophobia because it isn't like they are trying to hurt transmascs, right? We need to let the real victims speak, the ones being targeted on purpose.

Nobody ever sees the way it all piles up, and even if they do, they think "well it's just an accident, right? If we fix the main problem, then this fringe issue will go away on its own" without ever considering that transandrophobia isn't as rare, fringe, or accidental as society wants it to appear and that actual effort needs to be put into dismantling it.

It isn't that they actually believe that transandrophobia isn't real. It's that they just don't believe it is about transmascs. Because even if we are the common denominator, we are still just collateral damage and could not possibly have anything of value to say. Because as collateral damage, our issues are never our own and thus never need to be discussed on our own terms.

100%. And I think this is exactly what this sort of cycle of erasure depends on.

We are erased, our problems are erased, and our oppression is erased, which means it's easy for people to ignore us, our problems, and our oppression. There's so little evidence, so few people talking about it, and they never really see or hear anyone name us in this violence, so surely, it isn't about us at all! It must be about the people they know about already, the problems they know about, and the ones who are always readily named in these conversations.

If we're speaking up, there's no reason to believe us; if anything, we come under scrutiny for trying to talk about these issues nobody else can see. We must be crazy, hysterical, whiny and overdramatic, or perhaps malicious. We're stealing attention, stealing space, and stealing help. We might be victims, but we are incidental and unworthy victims.

And ignoring us, our problems, and our oppression means we continue to be erased. Which makes it easier to ignore us, and erase us, and easier to perpetuate violence against us. And so on.

It's understandable, in a way, for people to ignore us; most people don't know about any of this in the first place, and when they do, they're not inclined to take any of it seriously. Even if they do see convincing evidence that our problems are real and worth talking about, it's easy for that to be a one-off that they eventually forget about. Everyone else is talking about everything else, so we sort of fade away.

It's not their fault; they're not trying to ignore us. They just haven't learned to recognize violence against us, and they just don't seek us out, and can they really be blamed for that? Can they really be blamed for the violence that continues because they and others don't see or try to stop it? We're so hard to find in the first place. You know, because we've been so thoroughly erased.

There are a lot of people who've been fighting this for a long time, and even more we don't-- and probably won't-- ever know about, who've been fighting for even longer. I think it's getting better; the organized backlash against us is, imo, a sign that our reach is getting stronger and wider. But it's a hard cycle to break.

#transandrophobia #anti transmasculinity

[missmastectomy]

I was hesitant to write this post, but I want to talk about why so many women and teenage girls are getting double mastectomies.

The justification a lot of trans people use for elective double mastectomies is that "top surgery" helps people feel comfortable in their bodies. Traditionally, this surgery was restricted to transmen. In the recent decade, however, nonbinary identified and even non-trans identified women have been getting mastectomies. I remember clear as day when my coworker (who identified as a "cis" woman) told me that at 18 she was planning on saving for top surgery. I myself got my breasts removed when I identified as nonbinary, having been on testosterone for 2 years.

It's important to remember that no person is born wanting surgery. Society creates conditions that are hostile to women, GNC, and gay people, and this hostility encourages a dissociated state. The body is removed from the mind - instead of the body being an intrinsic part of your personhood, a mechanism through which we experience the world, it instead becomes ornamental. This is perfectly represented by all forms of non-reconstructive cosmetic surgery, which risk people's health for entirely aesthetic reasons.

So, why do teen girls want to remove their breasts? For those of who experienced unwanted sexual advances from a young age, the answer is intuitive. Breasts are inherently sexualized. They are not seen as a vital organ that contributes to bodily function and health, but as a decoration, the only purpose of which is to attract men and feed babies. In this way, a woman's breasts do not even belong to her. When men openly gawk at a woman without a bra, when relatives grope at her as a pubescent girl, when we are exposed to an endless stream of hyper-sexualized images of women with their cleavage out, a message is sent loud and clear: existing in a female body is unsafe.

I want to make it very clear that an elective mastectomy and the practices of breast ironing are very different, but there are commonalities in the attitudes behind both. Breast ironing is done to pubescent girls in order to "prevent" her being sexually assaulted or harassed by men, sometimes including male relatives. When I hear stories of girls in the West starving themselves and binding to hide their chests, I can't help but see similarities. When I was binding and restricting calories as a 15 year old, I would have said I was doing it so that I could pass as a man. But I would have been lying to you. I was lying to myself. I didn't hate my breasts because I was "born in the wrong body." I hated my breasts because they were used to justify my sexualization. From my perspective they put me in danger.

We often hear that women's rights in the West have been secured, but you need only look at the war on women's bodies to see that that is a fantasy. When young girls constantly receive the messaging that your curves and boobs WILL attract men and that you will be objectified for it, many will try to opt out.

Take Liv Hewson, for example.

She says herself that her anorexia was a manifestation of "gender dysphoria," but the question remains - where did this dysphoria come from? Why would anorexia develop as an outlet for it? What makes more sense: a young woman was born hating her body and her breasts because she has a gendered, non-female soul, or that same woman hates her body because she has been conditioned as such by a patriarchal society, the same society that encourages extreme self harm and body modification through a multi-billion dollar cosmetic industry?

Gender dysphoria in young women needs to be demystified. It's not special, it's not unique. It is NOT evidence that she needs invasive surgery or steroids to feel comfortable in her body. It is evidence that she is in pain. In order to address the rising rate of transition in young women, we must first acknowledge the conditions that nurture this form of self-hatred.

Transition IS a feminist issue. It is just as relevant in Western feminism as tackling the beauty industry, female sexualization, and violence perpetrated against women through porn. All of these issues are deeply interconnected. When we approach dysphoric women with compassion and encourage them to perceive their bodies as a part of themselves that deserves to remain intact and whole, rather than as their enemy, we take a necessary step towards female liberation.

#detrans #detransition #gender critical #radical feminists do touch #radical feminist safe #radical feminists do interact #radical feminism #misogny #anorexia #sexism #transition #trans issues

[vaspider]

Hi! I’m in my early 20’s and a baby gay and i was wondering if you could help me understand the nuances of a particular issue (or point me towards recourses to find some answers). I’ve heard that as an afab enby i shouldn’t be using the f slur because historically it has been used to attack/demean gay men, but i’ve also seen (mostly on tumblr) a push by the queer community to reclaim the word by any queer identity. I want to be inclusive and intersectional and not insult people to the best of my ability so my question is: can i participate in the reclamation of the f slur or should i leave this word to queer men? (I’m also not clear on wether it’s just cis men, includes trans men/amab folks, etc). You don’t have to answer but thanks for your time regardless!

You can do whatever you want forever.

Seriously, though - whoever is telling you that you can't reclaim a particular slur because that doesn't get used against people like you should come review my history sometime. I've had faggot yelled at me (often out of moving cars or in connection with physical abuse) more times than I can count. They need to talk to Hannah Gadsby, who talks in Nanette about a man who pushed her, thinking she was a faggot and then found out she was a woman, realized she was a "lady faggot" and thus outside his definition of woman and able to be beaten up... so he did.

That kind of "I have decided that people like you haven't been hurt by this so you can't touch this word" cop nonsense is genuinely harmful. We need to bring back the 90s energy of "it takes all of us to take the sting out of a word" where gay men showed up to lesbian marches with "fags for dykes" signs.

This infighting over terms is fucking cop garbage meant to divide us. It's bullshit. If you find strength in calling yourself a fag, a dykefag, a fagdyke, a ladyfag, a girl homo, a lesbo, whatever the fuck, it doesn't fucking matter.

This "no one uses that against people like you" bullshit is just that. Ignore it freely, because it's utter nonsense on many many levels.

#reclaimed slurs #intracommunity issues

[faggy--butch]

I'm so glad someone finally pointed out how trans and queer essayists seem to erase trans men when talking about trans issues. I notice it the most when people talk about the early trans rights movement where people frame trans men and trans masculine individuals as people who essentially just laid back and only stepped in on the (falsely assumed) incredibly rare occasion it directly effected them while trans women did all the work.

Yes! that's actually something that made me most upset. Jesses comment that I quoted stated that /especially/ trans women and (tacking on femme non binaries) have historically faced violence for pointing out these dichotomies are bad or whatever.

This ignores butch and transmasculine history of police violence toward us in a way that feels like either she didn't do any research into it or felt like it wasn't important enough to add into the video. This happens all the time. Minimizing trans male struggles, to make it some sort of trans women empowerment time type thing. That THEY fought the hardest, and THEY were on the front lines, while trans men were easily stealth and didn't do anything to contribute. If you go to any trans man or butch space, you'll hear us talk about how frustrating it is that people think masculinity on female bodies, or perceived women isn't taken as a threat, when most have personal stories of cis men threatening them, or getting into fights or being more aggressive with them than their femme counterparts. It feels like an unwillingness to engage with us. I still dont want to say that this is on purpose, because I don't know the intention behind these comments, or if it's even a clear thought they have, but when i comes to the trans essayists it feels like a girls club with the same idea passed around over and over, that trans women have always had it worse. I'll also say that this is sometimes supported by the trans man creators, like Jammidoger. It's not just the trans women, it's not just the essayists, but they have a large audience and I wish they would stop saying this kind of stuff and cementing these things into peoples heads.

#asks #transandrophobia

[sourcreammachine]

look yeah. i’m an Avoidant Personality. i’m terrified of doing anything

it’s not that i present cis in real life. in every fucking way to all my people, i am cis. because i’m fucking terrified of not being. my they/them persona online is basically cognitive dissonance: i’m AVPDing away from the fact that i am, cognisantly for years and incognisantly for my whole life, and always will be, a trans girl. i’m “taking it slow” but have been doing so for years and years and years because i’m so terrified and frozen and unable - because i have personal issues i need to work through before my brain will let me start transitioning

and tumblr was safety for me. that’s how i could be non-binary here. wall-to-wall trans inclusivity and love, when you don’t put your head above the parapet. and hell and hostility if you do, but i never had reason to. i could stretch my wings here. i could be something closer to being me here. one little bit of acceptance in a horrible world

and even here, the QuEeReSt PlAcE oN tHe InTeRnEt, a bigoted little baby man and his spineless enablers are annihilating my community of love and safety, and deleting my friends

my friends are going to keep getting deleted. i may well be. exactly how then am i supposed to find community and love and solidarity with all the people i’ve known and loved and supported. i don’t ever like talking about my head here, but it truly is a lifeline for me in a world of hostility

fuck you Matt. i’ll return the favour. next time you have friends over, i’ll be hovering in the room gradually throwing them all out, and then you too. next time you show your face in public i’ll have you arrested for indecent exposure. if you dare say “hey stop” i will call the police and FBI

i hope your car gets destroyed with so many hammers. i hope your house gets smashed down with a wrecking ball. i hope your phone catches fire in your pocket. i hope you never feel like you’re allowed to exist in any space. i hope all your friends get crushed by pianos. i hope everything you touch fucking explodes in your face

#196 #transgender #trans #carhammerexplosionmatt

[genderkoolaid]

sorry. i just found an article talking about a cis woman whose saying that. because she slept with a stealth trans guy when she was 15- sorry, i mean, she was "tricked" into having sex with him- made her suicidal.

and like. i'm not gonna say she's lying about the impact this information had on her. but girl this is a You Problem. that was Your internalized homophobia that made you unable to cope with the concept of a transgender man. of course the article mentions the trans guy- who the woman & the article misgenders- was convicted of "sexual intimacy by fraud" presumably for, again, the terrible horrific crime of having sex while trans.

just. man. i don't want to be callous about her mental health issues but oh my fucking god. imagine talking about your "traumatic past" and you mean you briefly dated a trans guy when you were younger. but i mean #feminism win! its not just cis men who blame trans people for their own internalized homophobia making them unable to cope with being attracted to a trans person!

edit: apparently said trans guy was also lying about his age and was older than he claimed. which is genuinely fucked up! but the article literally NEVER brings this up and ONLY talks about him being trans. so clearly the issue here was not his age it was just him being trans.

#m. #transandrophobia #transmisandry #anti transmasculinity #transunity

[communistkenobi]

this might make me sound ignorant but is the radfem part of term not about hating men? they hate trans people, they hate men and they view both as predatory, obviously men are not their primary targets but I feel like it would be incorrect to say that they don't hate men, especially since many of them believe in gender separatism (which is bs for numerous reasons). it's wrong to bring up men every time someone talks about the transmisogyny terfs spew bc that would be derailing the conversation but can men (trans/cis/whatever) not express how they've been hurt by terfs in their own posts or conversations? apologies if ive completely misinterpreted what you were saying I just want to understand the topic better

I’m not disputing that terfs hate men. However, I think it’s an error to highlight their hatred of men as ideologically significant. Sure they talk about hating men, but their political alliances reveal that dismantling patriarchy, or a desire to oppress men, is not a concern for them, given that they support the criminalisation of sex work, the state enforcement of sex as biologically determined, and are allied with the same right wing groups (such as the Heritage Foundation in the US) that want to criminalise abortion and reinstate “traditional” white western gender norms. If you view terf political goals through the lens of hating men, then their political efforts have overwhelmingly been a massive failure. Which I don’t think is very useful analysis!

A hatred of men is also not politically useful in general, because there is no money to be made or political battles to be won hating men. Hatred of men is not a systemic issue because men are not oppressed as a social group on the basis of their manhood. There is no political or financial infrastructure built on the foundation of hating men, nor is there infrastructure dedicated to maintaining a systemic hatred of men. Hating trans people, however, is extremely financially and politically lucrative, particularly hatred of trans women/transfems, because of how transphobia and misogyny intersect with and reinforce one another. There are ample political, financial, medical, and social institutions that operate on the maintenance of patriarchy, many of which terfs share a political platform with. So terf hatred of men is clearly not that big a deal given how willing they are to ally with right wing groups and fascists, who are the last people on earth to tolerate the oppression of men as a political goal.

This is why people (myself included) take umbrage with the continued insistence that terfs hate men as a central foundation of their beliefs. It’s not incorrect to say that they hate men, but hating men is not the problem with terfs. Hatred of men is not an inherently reactionary position anymore than hating cis people is. The problem is the way terfs conceptualise gender, and the political goals that flow from that conceptualisation, which affects all trans people but primarily affect trans women/transfems. The spectre they raise about bathrooms, about sports, is always the age-old transmisogynistic conspiracy of “a man in a dress” “invading women’s spaces” because the historical legacy of transmisogyny looms large in public consciousness, and reinforced by medical/psychiatric institutions in particular, in a way that hatred and fear of trans men does not (autogynephilia exists as a mental illness but autophallophilia does not, for example. Julia Serrano talks about this in Whipping Girl if you want to read more on the subject). Terfs don’t care about trans men in men’s sports, they don’t raise the counter-spectre of trans men being mass assaulted in bathrooms by cis men who discover that they’re “really women” - these are not rhetorical moves that are interesting or useful to them, because it does not position them as victims. Trans men are hurt by their transphobic rhetoric, suffer under transphobic laws that are passed, and face transphobic discrimination from people in their lives as a result of how mainstream transphobia is (and I am speaking from significant and traumatic personal experience on this front). We are not, however, the face of the transgender boogeyman, and we are not the primary target of terfs. We are targets because we are trans, not because we are men. To be dismissive of the claim that terfs hate men is not a dismissal of the pain and violence transmascs go through, because our oppression is not founded on our manhood.

So when you see terf political efforts and terf rhetoric, their obsessive focus on trans women as arch villains who need to be destroyed, and you come to the conclusion that a hatred of men is the animating force behind terf political activity - that is a transmisogynistic conclusion, both because you are framing their transmisogyny as something that is primarily informed by a hatred of men, and because “terfs hate men” is a non-sequitur in discussions about the political and social damage that their beliefs cause. If terfs hate men, they do so as a hobby, and I don’t really give a fuck about their hobbies

#asks #even old new york was once new amsterdam #transmisogyny tw #transphobia tw #book club #I haven’t read all of whipping girl btw just excerpts #I need to read it though lol. I’ll add it to the pile #note hell #effortpost

[ardourie]

ok cool ig im name dropping then, u are literally making up headcanons about me based on fucking nothing, i didn’t exclusively focus on the flaws of white trans people over cis white people if u actually read anything i posted instead of believing anons randomly accusing me of things you’d see my only issue is white people like YOU because you are white

watering down the impact of racism and pretending that it isn’t as harmful when coming from queer people as if being queer is an inherently purifying or redeemable action, this website is overwhelmingly trans, our circles are majority trans, getting into disagreements with trans people on here is going to happen bc of how many queer people there are on this platform, if the only people you claim i harassed are users like ratliker i don’t want to fucking hear it, i’ve been having people call me a terf for years bc of standing up to her racism and black genocide denial, every single fucking time someone on here does something racist and a brown person points it out ppl around you run to call them transphobic, like ur doing right now! the second sentence of her post literally says i deserve to be called a terf for just talking about the racism happening on the poll, she said that HERSELF

i said hussie has done racist acts and has racism in their comic, that doesn’t make hussie evil or fans of it evil it just means we should actually acknowledge its there and not have viral post going around claiming that none of what hussie did was that bad bc they’re trans and if ur bothered by it ur automatically transphobic, as if that isn’t an incredibly fucked up thing to say, bc u said that urself on ur blog multiple times, here’s my original and ONLY post that made someone go and tell plaidos i sent death threats when that wasn’t remotely what i was saying

plaidos posted this ask that immediately had ppl in my inbox calling me a terf and bigot for harassing a trans girl (hussie) and saying im a horrible person for sending death threats when i NEVER did that, had no reason to, and hussie isn’t even ON tumblr to do that

she also stated that she meant i “started” the death threats instead of sending them which is still a fucking lie bc the poll that i was referencing was posted FOUR days ago and has ppl fighting and talking about death threats about hussie before i even knew it fucking existed, and she would know bc she was arguing under the post four days ago HERSELF

how did i start death threats on a post i didnt find out about until 4 days after people were fighting under it? how the fuck does that work?

she then went on to slip up and reveal that she subconsciously thinks the queer community is only white bc when ppl complain about white queers they r complaining about latent racism, bc brown people exist in ur community and acting like poc criticizing white people (who will always be white no matter the other identities they have) means u hate queers is racist as hell

shit like THIS is what hussie was doing on a constant basis

these are just two examples you could google “homestuck racism” and find much more my only point that i ever made is that it’s insensitive and fucked up to act like anyone who doesn’t like or even hates homestuck for its racism is a transphobe or evil instead possibly someone deeply affected by hussies racism, and plaidos was under the original poll post i referenced arguing with black people calling them liars for saying hussie is racist and has antiblackness in his work:

if you recognize hussie is racist and has racism in their work why the fuck are you arguing with black people about that fact? why are you pretending people are lying and making up rumors when hussies racism has been a known fact for a literal decade at this point, hussie was quite literally responsible for a boom in antiblack racism online in the early internet you cannot be so dense as to not acknowledge this, and i want to clarify im literally a homestuck fan, homestuck meant so much to me as a kid, and bc of that i know that online spaces for homestuck treated black people like absolute shit for complaining about the racism, i was bullied and harassed so much for even being upset at characters in the comic using the n word or mocking black people, im criticizing it bc i care about it being such a large phenomenon responsible for the normalization of my oppression.

not going over the homestuck racism workshop thing bc u ppl r being purposefully obtuse and i already talked about it here

if you don’t believe me, please go ask the people accusing me of these things for screenshots of me sending death threats, ask them to show that i have no transfem friends, ask them to show it bc every fucking time theirs never any proof, stop believing ask u read about me with no proof stop believing rumors, put urself in the shoes of others, would you want hundreds of ppl sharing post saying you did something you didn’t fucking do with no proof? ask yourself why you don’t see many black people speak out on racism on here and ask urself if maybe it might correlate to how we get demonized for it, if you think callout culture is bad why participate in it in a way where you don’t even have photo evidence backing for what your sharing

lastly, u people keep going on and on about the company i keep but are the same ones cropping out the trans girls im friends with and constantly talking to on my blog, you did it with the last situation regarding aaron bushnell you did it with the previous pregnancy callout, yall literally accuse every trans girl around me of being self hating or theyfabs, random trans women who simply shared my opinion have been harassed and accused of being sock puppets, i have a whole post about that in my pinned, but u don’t care, it’s easier to make me a scape goat and deflect criticisms of racism despite you being white and unaffected than it is to simply go “yeah some people are gonna hate media that has racism in it and that isn’t indicative of anything other than hating racism” your fucking white, can we be serious right now, you published ask saying i was sending death threats to hussie when that never happened and accused me of starting the anger on a poll i never reblogged that a bunch of my trans girl mutuals were complaining about 16 hours ago, so which is it? transfem opinions matter to you or they don’t? bc it seems like u just pick a fucking choose which girls to listen to and like randomly going after black people for not liking antiblack racism

#drama

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for calling my boyfriend babygirl

let me clarify upfront: my boyfriend has never expressed discomfort with this, and says he likes it, so it’s potentially a non-issue, but it’s still bugging me. this has been ongoing for a little over a month and i feel like i’m going nuts. forgive me if any of the language i use here isn’t correct, i don’t know how else to get the ideas across - feel free to correct me if i could be saying things more inclusively. sorry that this is rambly also. small nsfw warning (nothing too explicit)

i (22m) have been dating my boyfriend (19ftm) for a little over a year. i’m cis and he is trans. admittedly i’m not like… the most well versed in trans issues but i love him more than life itself so i really try to be respectful of him. he was bullied pretty severely in highschool, not just for being trans but his gender identity was no small part of it, and even though he’s not super dysphoric day to day he’s definitely got some boundaries about it. there are certain compliments he likes and some that upset him (he doesn’t enjoy being called pretty or cute, typically) and he’ll snap at people for referring to him with feminine names or titles like “sis” “girl” etc even if it’s done jokingly.

the thing is he’s rarely, if ever, done that with me? i call him pretty and cute all the time (because he is) and he’s always been fine with it. admittedly the first time i did it i didn’t know it was something that usually bugged him, but he’s never said anything to me about it. everytime i have he’s seemed happy. he’s very outspoken, i pretty firmly believe if it was a problem he’d say something about it - again, he has no issues being firm about this boundary with any of his other friends and family. i was doing this before we started dating, so after we started dating it sort of bled into pet names

again, it was never something i asked him about expressly, but at some point i started calling him, like… princess, babygirl, etc. i only ever do this in private, when its just us or when i’m pretty sure only he can hear me, for a few reasons. my boyfriend doesn’t really pass (entirely his choice. he doesn’t bind his chest and he doesn’t want any gender affirming surgeries or hrt - again, he’s not super dysphoric day to day, he only gets upset when it’s commented on and he can bounce back from it pretty quickly) and again, it seems like it’s always made him happy. at the risk of tmi, it especially seems to make him happy in the bedroom, which is another reason i avoid dropping these pet names in front of anyone else. it’s private and i don’t think it’s anyone else’s business.

so. to put this mildly. we went to a house party together recently and i got super smashed. it was a pretty big party so we were sticking by each other, and when you’re drunk and your partner is there… well, yeah. i was admittedly being pretty handsy. he didn’t tell me to knock it off or anything, he was reciprocating. at some point he started talking to his best friend from highschool (19mtf, i’ll call her Z) so i reigned myself in but i was definitely still drunk and horny and being clingy. i don’t know Z all that well - she and my boyfriend are very close but she can be pretty harsh, and i appreciate all she does for him so i like her, but we never talk unless he’s there. i’ve had maybe one one-on-one conversation with this woman ever.

they’re talking. i’m also there. i’m not trying to rush him but i definitely want to get home. the conversation lulls and i take the chance to ask my boyfriend if he wants to leave soon, and because i am aforementionedly drunk and horny i drop one of those earlier pet names. before he can respond to me, Z snaps at me. she says not to call him that and that i was being a creep - this alarms me and was kind of frustrating since i wasn’t even talking to her, and i recognize i’m not in a headspace to argue? with her? so i just tell my boyfriend to come find me when he wants to leave and i wander outside. he finds me about 5-10 minutes later and we head home.

it doesn’t get brought up again that night but a day or so later i text Z to ask her what she meant by me being a creep, because it was bugging me. she says that it’s obvious i’m fetishizing my boyfriend’s gender identity, that the fact i call him those things brings up major red flags, etc. i tell her that my boyfriend doesn’t have an issue with it. she says it doesn’t matter and asks me why i want to call him those names in the first place, and posits that maybe i don’t actually want to be dating a boy - that i just like the idea of dating a boy and actually want to be with a woman. i’m gay, so this is VERY out of pocket to me. i tell her my boyfriend is not a woman and end the conversation there, but it DOES stick with me. so, very belatedly, i ask my boyfriend what he thinks of all this. i adore him so much and i hate hate hate the idea i could’ve been treating him like that, even unintentionally. he says the pet names never bothered him and he’s never felt like that, and that he’s fine with me specifically doing it because he trusts me and knows i don’t see him as a girl.

so, whatever. she has a problem but me and my boyfriend don’t. i try to move on, but the next time i see her she asks if i’ve apologized/reflected at all. i tell her no, because my boyfriend said i have nothing to apologize for and it seems like a non-issue. she is now avoiding me, refuses to be in the same room as me, and will declare to anyone who asks that she doesn’t want to be near someone who fetishizes trans people and she doesn’t feel safe around me. my boyfriend tries to talk to her but she insists i need to apologize at the bare minimum, but to who? even if i did apologize to my boyfriend i wouldn’t mean it and he wouldn’t want it. Z is his long-time best friend, i can’t exactly go the rest of our relationship just avoiding her. so i have no damn idea where to go from here.

on some level, i worry she’s right? i honestly don’t know why i started calling him those things. i think it started as a joke but i just kept doing it when i noticed he seemed to like it. in hindsight that was maybe shitty of me, but i trust him to tell me when something i do is making him uncomfortable. it’s not like i can do that over, but if he ever told me to stop i would. it’s definitely true that if you saw my boyfriend on the street you’d probably assume he’s a woman, but i’ve never been attracted to anyone who actually identifies as a woman before. i’ve only ever liked men, and no matter what he looks like he is a man. this whole situation did make me think about how i think about him, and i’ve realized that, like… i want to have kids with him one day, and ideally i’d like him to carry them. ideally, but id never make him. if he decided tomorrow that he wanted to medically transition and go the whole nine yards i’d support him. he’s my whole world, i just want him to be happy. but does the fact i want him to carry children prove her right?

i’m just. confused. i feel like i’m running myself in circles. Z knew him in highschool so she was there when bullying over his gender was at his worse, so i get why she’s protective. she’s also trans herself so she undoubtedly understands this stuff better than me. but i’ve heard it’s normal for trans people to have complicated relationships with gender, so it’s normal to be okay with gendered language from some people and not others (like only letting close friends use certain pronouns for you). i figure it’s like that, but it’s not my gender so… i don’t know. should i just stop calling him those pet names altogether, even though i know at this point he enjoys them, to be safe? am i an asshole for calling him those things in the first place / would i be an asshole if i kept doing it?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[clownhousemargarita]

Can I request a Vox x Trans!(FtM) reader? Perhaps some fluff- like maybe the reader gets sorta made fun of for not being cis and goes to Vox to complain/cry about it to him??

Idk, this is my first request 😭

"I just wanna talk to 'em." -- Vox.

------- Summary: You get outed and harassed for being transgender and Vox won't let it slide. Pairing: Vox x (TRANS) MALE! Reader Warnings: Angst, Transphobia, Possessive behavior, Implied NSFW. Enjoy. (+ also, happy Easter to anyone who celebrates!) --------

You were used to it, the harassment and all. Before you found yourself, struggling to push denial away and become the man you truly were -- there was judgement everywhere. No matter where you were, it came in all shapes in sizes. The more you started passing, the less it started to happen. But you'd always remember those humiliating moments, those moments of feeling like the odd one out. You sat there and took it like a man, cause what else were you supposed to do? When you found yourself in hell, you asked yourself if it was because of who you were. That was quickly shot down the moment you realized it was because you took a life. Totally forgot about that, silly you! Though, looking down at your new form, you were immediately disappointed that whoever organized the designs, couldn't have at least got this one issue of your fucking back. Maybe that was your punishment, because truthfully -- all you wished for was to be a biological man. Why would they give that to you if you were in...Hell...? Shit, you must have hit your fucking head or something. You immediately found your place in Hell, the Vee's made you feel at home. You knew you were a shitty person right off that bat if that's how you felt about these three. They were all terrible, and you fucking loved it. Especially Vox. You found yourself favoriting his bratty personality over the other two. They took note of this, teasing you about it constantly. Vox was blinded at the time of all your non-subtle hints, too blinded by his own anger of some fucking buck making himself known into Hell. Eventually you two tied the knot, not in a marital way, but if it was you'd make him wear the bridal dress. Not because of who you once were perceived to be but because you thought he'd look way better in it than you would. You told him this and he just straight up walked away from you. "Absolutely FUCKING NOT!" He exclaimed, not turning his back to face you. You let out a mischievous giggle. You truly felt less anxious around these three. Your boyfriend, a lovely sassy woman who you considered a sister, and an absolute fucking freak.

--- "Hey babe, can you remind Vel about the dinner we have later tonight with that new client? Knowing her stingy ass, she probably forgot already. She takes like 3 light years to get ready." Vox requested, groaning at the end of his sentence at the thought of Velvette putting together an outfit. You watched it occur, it was...life changing for sure. You nodded and gave him a thumbs up, leaning over to kiss his screen. "What're you leaving me forever and never coming back?" He joked, turning to you from the chair he was sitting in. You shrugged your shoulders with a smile as you walked off, waving at him with just your index finger. It was just a silly thing you did. You trademarked it. Making your way downstairs, you saw a group of people in Velvet's station, assumedly models as they looked physically stunning. You scouted the area for Velvet, not finding even a glimpse of her hair around. You turned to the group of models, your face flushed. "Excuse me." You spoke as loudly as possible. They all turned to you with a raised brow and an irritated look on their faces. One man smiled widely, "What can I do for you little girl?" He laughed, the rest joining. You raised a brow, your face clearly showing your anger. "Not a chick, nor am I little. Have any of you pricks seen Velvet?" You ask, emphasizing on the insult. "Are you a transvestite?" "Maybe he's just gay." "What's in your pants, little man?" "It's getting embarrassed, look at it's face!" You felt the tears swell up in your throat, you begin scratching at your hip as an attempt to take out your own anger. "Fuck you cunts." You mumble, walking away as fast as you could, not allowing them to see you cry. You felt the hot streams of tears rolling down your face as you made your way back up to Vox's office. You slammed the door open and began yelling. "Who the fuck are those douche bags downstairs?! Why would you guys hire them?!" You scream, the testosterone getting to you. Vox jumped up from his spot and rushed over to you, his screen like face glitching out in anxiety.

"What?! What people?! The fuck are you talking about?? I literally asked you to just go talk to Velvet??" He didn't respond to strong emotions from others well, so he just began getting angry and nervous back at you. "Those fuckers downstairs! Kept fucking asking me about my junk!" You cry, wiping your tears. You hadn't dealt with this in so long you forgot how to collect yourself. "Babe people do that all the time here, it's nothing personal." "THIS WAS PERSONAL! They asked me if I was a fucking transvestite, making fun of me saying I look like a chick, this and that! It fucking sucked! I sat there and did fucking nothing and ran the fuck away. like a shit ass fucking coward." At this point you were swearing like a sailor who forgot how to curse, you were so angry you didn't know what to say. Nobody had any right to treat you that way. What made them think that they could? You could see Vox getting visibly angrier each word you spoke. "Those mother fuckers." He grumbled, patting your back before heading downstairs with a walk of purpose. You stood there, rubbing your eyes realizing... you totally just got them fucking killed. again. You smiled, the realization of how Vox cares for you settling in and pushing the anger away. You turned to sit by the door, a smile on your face still as your tears dried away, you hummed whatever you could to calm you down. There was screaming, pleading, god knows whatever noise you make when you get torn in half being made from down in Velvets station. Oh, what a pity. Suddenly it stopped, and you heard Velvets voice -- she was screaming at Vox, clearly angry that she just lost her blood filled mannequins. You giggled. There were steps getting closer and closer, before Vox walked through the door, looking down at you. You looked up at him, your eyes lidded with a smile. "You okay?" You asked, hearts in your eyes. He shrugged and nodded gently, "I'm alright, you?" You giggled again as he picked you up from your spot on the ground and kissed you lovingly. "Your fucking insane." You mumble against his lips. "Mhm." He makes a noise in agreement, only making you laugh again and smacking the back of his TV head. "Velvet canceled the dinner by the way, if you wanna just stay here. And fuck." "Nice one." "Dude, I don't even know who said that?" "Me neither, dude." "Okay, it's not cool when you say it." "Say what, dude?" "Shut the fuck up." You hop out of his arms with another laugh. "We can do whatever you want, my love."

#hazbin hotel x you #hazbin hotel fanfic #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x male reader #hazbin hotel #vox x reader #hazbin hotel vox #vox #hazbin vox #vox the tv demon #the vees #vox hazbin hotel #vox x you #vox x male reader #x male reader #transgender #x trans male reader

[nothorses]

About that "a trans man committing a mass shooting proves trans people really are the gender they identify as" post: women have committed mass shootings too? Okay it's a lot less statistically frequent, but it happens (as the song "I Don't Like Mondays" demonstrates). It reminds me of the time TERFs on Reddit assumed the woman who shot up the YouTube HQ in 2018 was trans, and then when she turned out to be cis, someone immediately speculated she was getting justified revenge on an abusive BF who worked there (though that comment got downvoted and may have been a troll)

I took this opportunity to look more into statistics around mass shooter demographics, and interestingly, there are a lot of myths tied up in this issue.

This article looks into a few studies and databases to investigate the "90% of all mass shooters are white men" myth, and finds that in actuality, "It really depends on what type of mass shooting you’re talking about. Several of the highest-profile mass shootings in recent memory [...] were committed by white males, such as the 2017 Las Vegas attack by Stephen Paddock. But much beyond that, the stereotype breaks down; Muslim man Omar Mateen killed forty-nine people at a Florida nightclub in 2016 on behalf of a terrorism group; white male Adam Lanza killed twenty-seven people in 2012 at an elementary school, though Asian student Seung-Hui Cho killed thirty-two people on the Virginia Tech campus in 2007. And so on."

This article fact-checks the gender-specific claims as well, in the context of trans people, and finds that there have been more claims that shooters are trans than can be reasonably substantiated, and that even this number is overshadowed by the number of cis women who have committed mass shootings.

I bring this up because I think the first article in particular brings a lot of much-needed nuance into the issue:

"The whites-are-overrepresented-among-mass-shooters meme does serve a useful purpose in that it helps displace another myth about mass shootings: that they’re most often perpetrated by angry immigrants from travel-banned countries, and that nothing is more dangerous to America that the scourge of Islamic terrorism. … These are worthy ends, but we shouldn’t have to build another myth to reach them.”

What are we saying when we talk about these kinds of incidents this way?

What I find interesting is that in a lot of these conversations around crime, we recognize that crime is often the result of poverty. Indeed, this study finds that the number of mass shootings increases in countries that experience an increase of income inequality.

We can also often recognize that these numbers are skewed because they rely on media coverage, arrests, and criminal charges; all of which are influenced by societal bias. The first article on mass shootings notes that, "mass shootings with white victims tend to get more attention, both from journalists and those on social media, than those with victims who are people of color. This is a well-known pattern and explains why the public is quicker to react to a missing young blonde girl than a missing young black girl."

Are white mass shooters covered more because their targets- being overwhelmingly people and institutions they have ties to- are also usually white?

If "white men are overrepresented as mass shooters" means white men are particularly dangerous and must be feared, what does this imply about other demographics overrepresented in certain crime statistics? What does it mean when we find this isn't true- is there suddenly just is not an issue of white cis male violence? I would certainly disagree.

And I think this gleeful claim that "trans men are proving their gender" by committing acts of violence- again, far more rare than cis women doing the same- only plays into these issues.

Is crime the result of entitlement and privileged anger, or is it the result of a broken system failing its citizens? Are cis men committing acts of extreme violence because they are all- regardless of race- whiny pissbabies who take joy in hurting others, or is this the result of a system that teaches men they can only express emotion through anger and violence? That human connection is not for them, and that needing things makes them unworthy of manhood, love, or even life?

I'm not saying we need to coddle and woobify mass shooters. I'm asking: is this an issue we fix by fearing and hating and wishing death on whole demographics of people based on how represented they are in criminal statistics, or can we make systemic and cultural changes that meaningfully prevent this from happening in the first place?

Do we condemn groups as Bad because some of them have done violence, or do we examine the causes and work toward meaningful solutions?

Obviously, trans men and trans people in general are not in any way "overrepresented" as perpetrators in mass shooting statistics. But I think the people reveling in any new trans male shooter are making it very clear that they don't care about solving problems; they're just interested in looking for reasons to hate, fear, and condemn this specific group of people they already dislike.

#nashville shooting

[molsno]

I have such complex feelings about danganronpa but the treatment of chihiro fujisaki still remains a major sticking point to me.

I've had several different interpretations of the character over the years as my relationship with my gender has evolved but after all these years I feel like I can finally mourn the way she was treated as a trans girl.

it's just... heinous. kazutaka kodaka is so transmisogynistic in his writing that it's sickening to even think about. how am I supposed to feel about the fact that his work has touched my life in such a major way? I'm still talking about danganronpa over 10 years after I first got into it. but an unskippable, major, and early part of the story of the first game makes it clear how he thinks about people like me.

the text of the game is vile. along with the other students, she's threatened with her deepest secret being revealed if nobody murders one of their classmates. she has to face the fact that she's going to be forcibly outed to her classmates in the worst way possible. after she's killed out of jealousy for her bravery by mondo owada, who at the very least has the decency to move her body from the boys' locker room to the girls' to protect her secret, her body is groped to "confirm" that she's a "boy", she's immediately misgendered by all her classmates, and monokuma tells everyone her backstory in a way that totally disregards her actual feelings.

chihiro is not a boy. she doesn't ever claim to be one, except in school mode, which crucially, is explicitly not canon and wasn't even present in the original release. the only reason why anyone, in-game and in the fandom, believes that she's a boy is because of transmisogyny and because of monokuma's explanation. is he the type of character that you should trust, though? not only is he willing to forcibly out a trans girl, this is a pattern of behavior; the mastermind controlling monokuma later threatens to out juzo sakakura as gay as blackmail in the dr3 anime.

when I view the actions of chihiro fujisaki, I can't see anything but a trans girl. she has a severe inferiority complex, cries easily, lacks confidence in herself, hesitates to spend time with cis girls due to a fear of being ostracized for who she is, and heavily latches onto anyone who treats her respectfully (as seen if you do her free time events). and then she's thrust into a horrible situation where she could be killed at any moment, and then given 24 hours to try and come out on her own terms before monokuma does it for her in a way that explicitly misgenders her. she wants to become someone strong, someone who can stand up for herself and fight back against bullies like monokuma who don't respect her gender, but she doesn't get to do that on her own time. she still tries, though, and for it, she's killed.

it's just... tragic. what else can I say? she's yet another example of transmisogynistic tropes in media, but she feels personal to me in a way that few other such characters do. I've always loved chihiro a lot, even when I was younger and couldn't quite put my finger on why.

I don't think I would terribly mind her death if kodaka was a better writer. if danganronpa actually made use of all of its seemingly largely unintentional anticapitalist potential, if it touched on systemic issues such as transmisogyny with tact and respect (for example, if the other students respected her identity and opposed monokuma for repeatedly misgendering her), her death would still be upsetting, but I could accept that.

she just... deserves so much better.

#txt #danganronpa #transmisogyny