#convert advice

[jewishconvertthings]

I can't remember if I've posted about this before, but tonight I was reminded by a class of a thing that I think may be helpful for some folks.

Because converting is *so* permanent and irreversible, and one should take it at least as seriously as entering a marriage (with the understanding that there is no divorce, only alienation), I think it's honestly a good idea to wait until you've had a major fight with your Judaism before you complete your conversion.

It's the same principle as wanting to wait until you've been sick with the flu together or had a major life setback or are lost at 2 a.m. on a road trip with your fiance before you actually get married. In that case, you want to know (1) what does this scenario bring out in them? (2) what does this scenario bring out in you? (3) how do those things interact with each other? and, most importantly: (4) how do you resolve it together?

With Judaism, it's easy to fall in love with Torah. It's easy to fall in love with an idealized version of your community. With the rituals and the liturgy and the music and the ruach.

It's harder to learn a point of halacha that hurts deeply and to be forced to reconcile what you know in your bones is right with the reality of the words of Torah and its interpretation by the rabbis. It's harder to meet your congregation in love and tochecha when they have fallen short of their vision and failed you in important ways. It's harder to force yourself to engage in mitzvot that you don't see the point in or that are boring or repetitious or do not spark joy.

And until you know how you will react when (not if) that happens, until you know how you will resolve it - or if you will even want to - you aren't ready to commit to something you can't just take off.

Sometimes it sucks to be a Jew. Sometimes Torah is more yoke than honey. Sometimes you're just not feeling it. And that's okay! That doesn't make you an imposter or a bad Jew; it makes you human. But you still need to address it, because that day will come.

I love being Jewish with all my heart, but there are parts of Torah that are like a knife in my soul. For me, the way I resolve it, is that those things in particular are the shards my neshama was sent to liberate the sparks from. We live in a broken, unredeemed world, and sometimes you should feel that, acutely. That is part of being a Jew, that you are sensitized to the world and its suffering. But it should still, in the end, lift you up. It should not break you, and you should not have to cut off major pieces of yourself to fit the role. Hitting that wall and feeling that pain before you immerse in the mikvah can really open your eyes to what kind of Jew you want to be - or if you actually want to carry this burden as well as taste its sweetness.

#jewish convert things #jumblr #converting to judaism #convert feels #convert advice

[architectural-sims]

Henford Hall -December, 18:39PM

#sims 4 #ts4 #ts4 build #so im kinda back again #this year has been crazy #i move to Paris in september 2022 to study there two semesters #then i came back to spain and move to a new city #well is not really new since its my hometown but i hadn't live there since 2015 and I missed it so much #and between work uni and RL things I didn't have much time to play sims #so here I am again but you know how inconsisten is this blog so dosen't expect regular posts lol #probably i will not have time to play in the future but who cares #now about sims #i've been trying to make some trees DR with new meshes but they refuse to show the correct textures in autumn winter and spring #I suspect it has to be something related to vertex paint or any information attached to the leaves mesh that i'm not getting in s4s #i'll be posting that later to see if someone can give some advice #also had a problem with a building deco for Hendford wich I converted from Cities Skylines #i'm really frustrated with s4s and me lately #well i think its enough for today #come back for more ted talks

[fluffy-appa]

Ways of Strengthening Patience

Knowledge

The element of knowledge is necessary in order to realise the benefits of following the commands of Allah and the sense of happiness and fulfillment that one may attain by following them; and to understand what it is in the forbidden things that causes harm, imperfection and evil.

When a person realises that, and adds strong willpower, the desire for spiritual achievement and the wish to live as a complete human being (as opposed to an animal-like existence), then it will become easy for him to attain the quality of patience.

The bitterness of patience will become sweet and the pain of patience will become joy.

book: Patience and Gratitude by Ibn Qayyim Al-Jawziyyah رحمه الله pg. 32

#islam #quote #allah #hijab #knowledge #inspirational quotes #islamicadvice #islam4 life #jilbab #la ilaha illa allah #islamicreminders #islamicart #islamic advice #islamicquotes #islamic #muslim revert #muslim #muslim reminder #muslimah #deenislam #deenoverdunya #deen #new convert #convert to islam #quran online #quran kareem #quranic #holy quran #quran ayah #quran

[leen--20]

وأيّ تجارةٍ أعظم من العيشِ مع كتابِ اللّٰه 🤎 .

#quran #quranic verses #quran kareem #islamic #islam #hadith #islamiyet #duaa #islamdaily #sunnah #dawah #muslim #convert to islam #islamquotes #islampost #islamicquotes #islamicpost #islamic advice

[thebirdandhersong]

well mark that down as situation 2938489 that I don't know how to handle

#i would love advice on this if y'all have any thoughts to share because i know what my parents think and im having trouble sorting it out #i love these three friends of mine but it is really draining to be around them now because all they will talk about is church drama #(re: our old church) and rehashing it all and being Outraged about the horrors etc etc #either that or being downright condescending about protestants/non denominations and acting like it's funny to talk like that all the time #i end up being more angry or resentful or exasperated at the end of our conversations than glad and at peace like i did before #(before all THIS ish happened and the three of them were like okay this is all we're going to talk about now) #i've tried to say in gentle ways (i am simply not capable of this kind of blunt confrontation) that maybe we should not be talking #so uncharitably towards other people especially behind their backs. like. yes bad things happened. we have to acknowledge that. #but continually making jokes and jibes at a priest's expense really rubs me the wrong way especially since i KNOW that he loves us #and in many ways was trying his best in the circumstances. and are we not supposed to be loving our neighbour #and is this not downright slander to keep going on this way esp since it goes on for HOURS at a time #anyway i don't know what to DO because if i keep chatting with them/meeting up with them conversation will be 90% this thing and i Hate It #but on the other hand i feel responsibility towards them because my godson's one of them and another is a friend who is a fairly recent #convert and if i leave them to stew in their own echo chamber i doubt it'll do them good #am i supposed to keep some distance? am i supposed to keep arguing whenever one of them says something unkind or inflammatory? #am i supposed to keep speaking up so that they hear a different perspective? am i supposed to run in the other direction for my own peace o #mind? anyway i am still thinking this over and it stresses me OUT #it used to be fun and life giving to be around these people and now it is so exhausting and seriously alarming in many ways

[sdmsims]

yea i turned your werewolf into a yassified sphynxbeast. sorry

#txt #non cc posting #sims 4 #this probably. wont get a release bc its super experimental and as u can see the eyes bulge but i mean. if anyone wants it sound out #i keep telling myself itll look better once i convert this oc's hair and ears and tail but. i know it wont ASDFGHJ #anyways as u can see im being productive (lying) #taking the advice to make more weird shit for myself was the best ive ever taken #skin overlay is kokoro by saruin but edit to be a facemask. i love you kokoro skin

[jewish-vents]

I recently had to move two hours away from all the nearest big cities around me, and now I'm in a place with a way smaller Jewish community. Recently now more than ever I've been needing community support, especially given that I'm a convert and I never truly got a chance to finish the process. The only place I can turn to is the Chabad community, but I'm not as knowledgeable about them as I was with my reform community. I'm always nervous about reaching out, and about how older people will take to me being trans (male). I've also heard a lot of controversy/judgement coming from other Jewish communities directed at Chabad? I'm a bit confused about the whole thing. I genuinely have no idea if I should reach out or wait until I can move somewhere else. It sucks feeling so isolated

Ok so, I don't have a lot of knowledge or experience with Chabad communities, but I asked some friends who do know a bit more, and this is what they said:

- if you're looking to finish your conversion with them, it's not very likely it will be possible. Maybe if you're looking to be orthodox, but I'm guessing from your ask that that's not exactly what you want.

- you might want to see if your previous rabbi might let you finish the process online. I know some people who did that after they moved because they had already started with a rabbi and wanted to keep that one for the rest of it. You might have to travel for Beit Din and mikveh, but I mean it's better than nothing. Alternatively, if your previous rabbi will not want to do that, try to find a rabbi who might be ok with a lot of the process being online. I know there are some who do that, even if I don't know who exactly.

- about attending Chabad services independently of conversion. That will depend a lot on the branch and on the community itself. It might be worth a try, there is really no way to know what the answer will be until you ask, but the worst that can happen is they say no. Which I know doesn't feel great, but just remember that doesn't mean something is wrong with you specifically

- another thing to consider is the fact you're trans. People have different opinions over disclosing one's transness vs staying stealth, especially when we're talking about communities where gender (and sex) have a wide difference. It's likely, even after you convert, you might not be allowed to lead a service or do things they would consider "for men". Also, how well you pass might dictate which side of the mechitza you'll be put on (aka, if they'll let you sit with the rest of the men). I know this is really uncomfortable to even think about, but I just want to be realistic with you so you can make an informed choice and are ready if you do attend at some point. Independently of one's opinions on that type of gender roles, it is their community and they do make the rules there

All this being said, some people have very positive experiences with Chabad, some less. Depends on the community, what you're looking for, etc

Wishing you the best of luck! And if someone else has opinions of advice for Anon, leave it in the replies or reblogs please

-🐺

#jewish vents #advice #jumblr #jewish convert #chabad #transgender

[explorations-in-judaism]

My interest in Judaism was recently resparked by a conversation with my girlfriend. She is a devout catholic considering converting to Islam. Her reason: she believes in the teachings of Mohammed and has been drawn to it for years.

I told her I had the same prolonged interest in Judaism but worried it wasn't enough to convert. She asked me what would be

I'm trying to find the answer but there's just so much confusion. I don't know if I believe in Gd and it's scary to grapple with how this would change my family. Judaism fills my thoughts

#im going to go to a temple after the high holidays #and im excited #but theres also my states intro to judaism class starting in mid october #and if i were to convert id need to take it #so im torn between signing up for it #even though its expensive and im unsure #but if i dont then ill have to wait an entire year #which is also scary #i know this is a lifelong journey #but i also want answers now #this is filling all my thoughts all the time #i dont have space for other things #idk #if anyone has advice or personal experience theyd like to share id highly appreciate it #jewblr #jumblr #prospective convert #jew by choice

[anipgarden]

Ani Reviews: Hellstrip Gardening

Alrighty homies here's another Informal Book Review. This is the second time I've done a book review, but I hope this is helpful!

[Photo ID: a book, titled "Hellstrip Gardening: Create a paradise between the sidewalk and the curb" by Evelyn J. Hadden (Author of Beautiful No-Mow Yards) With photographs by Joshua McCullough, Foreword by Lauren Springer Ogden]

Out of the seven books I checked out from the library this round, I picked this one second because not only was I looking forward to the read, but so were some friends in my gardening server! Its one of, if not the longest book in the stack--the main contents are 279 pages total--but its definitely well worth the read! You can see where I live blogged it here.

The inspiration and energy in this book is potent! By the time I finished reading the foreword and the introduction, I was already dreaming up new gardening projects to work on next spring, and that energy stayed up all the way until the end! It definitely helps that the photos in this book are absolutely gorgeous! Seriously, even if you aren't wanting to make a front yard garden, I'd recommend this book for cool garden photos alone! This is another one of those books that's way more relevant if you're the home owner, or a landscaper (or just got permission from your parents to do some front yard gardening), but even still so much of the advice in this book is great for just about any kind of gardening as well! Between beautiful photos of front yard gardens others have already done, tons of encouragement and advice on how to handle anything from trees to poor soils to outdated laws and HOA boards, and a deluge of plant recommendations for different grow zones and purposes, it's definitely a valuable resource!

After the introduction, this book is separated into four major sections referred to as Parts. There's Inspirations, Situations, Creation, and Curbside-Worthy Plants. If you're looking for ideas on what a converted yard can look like, Inspirations and Creation is the place to go. If you're unsure how to do so with any specific circumstances you may be facing, Situations is the section for you. So on and so forth. All in all, between the gorgeous photos, and the amazing content, this was a fairly quick read for me!

I will say, this is a book aimed directly for gardeners in the US. While some of the general advice might be good for people abroad, at the end of the day its a book written in an American perspective for gardeners in America. That being said, it focuses on America as a whole--so if you're hoping for a dedicated section on how to do what you want in your state specifically, you might get lucky, you might get unlucky. I know the example garden for my state wasn't anything I'd be excited about, meanwhile there's three sample gardens for Minnesota (two in Minneapolis) and there's only twelve sample gardens in the book! Also, if you're looking for a book to tell you to only ever use native plants in your garden, this isn't the one--the book will eagerly encourage you use native plants, and will implore you to remove any invasive plants that may be on your property, but is also more than welcome to recommending well behaved non-native plants. Let it be known that I don't think this is a problem at all! But if you're picky about that, I'm just letting that be known.

Oh and also one final note. The book is called Hellstrip Gardening, and it does talk about hellstrips, but it doesn't only talk about hellstrips. A good chunk of the example gardens don't even have hellstrips. This book talks plenty about full yard transformation! Which I find fantastic and enlightening! If you're looking for a book that's only about hellstrips, though, this isn't it.

All in all, this is an amazing book with amazing photos, 10/10 could probably show to someone to get them to see the light of front yard gardens.

#ani reviews #ani rambles #out of queue #hellstrip gardening #I think another cool thing about this book is that it--albeit briefly--addresses some of the fears people might have about converted yards #like it doesn't go into full detail about all of them but it at least acknowledges it #which is honestly better than what a lot of articles i've read or the other book I've read in this stack have done #and granted the info they gave about alleviating tick fears isn't anything I haven't heard off a headspace hotel post #but it is nice to see it acknowledged in a published work! #still not sure if I would be able to convince My Mom to do something like this #because outside of 'wide paths' it gives no advice about Snakes and thats probably my mom's biggest concern outside of 'yard is lawn is gra #and my previous google search attempts yielded Nothing Helpful in that front #but thats less of a flaw of the book itself and more of a 'hurdle i personally gotta figure out' #i am getting off topic lets end the tags here gbye

[craycraybluejay]

I SORTA ALMOST TOLD MY THERAPIST SOMETHING I'VE NEVER TOLD ANYONE IRL AND HAVE VERY HESITANTLY TOLD TO ONE PERSON IN GENERAL

PROGRESS. I CAN DO THIS. I CAN TALK ABOUT IT.

I stumbled through it and was super vague about it and omitted a lot and made several awkward attempts to discuss the scenery in my immediate space as a way to stall and totally wasted time doing all that but I managed to get further today to saying something I'm downright terrified to say out loud than ever before. I feel like I can do it next time. Really actually go through with it. I should take a xan before my next session to relax so I don't mentally backpedal or panic or anything and actually break the dam. just the one session so it'll be easier to talk about later as the topic's been breached. maybe even bring up a few other things i haven't nearly as badly wanted to talk to someone about but would probably benefit from some therapizing over. Just really get it all out there, maybe cry a bit. I can do it. I have survived far worse than this.

But like. I made the setup, you know. I can reference it next session and ease into the topic knowing I've already told on myself enough to at least reveal the general nature of the issue. It feels like it's already mostly done and my stomach is in knots but that'll mean next time isn't as scary as it could've otherwise been. I'm proud of myself and I think it's really important to take it slow to tell someone something you need to say but are scared to. But take it. Slow and intentionally vague is better than not at all. You are doing so good. If you have opened up to someone through much fear I am so proud of you and you are so brave. And I'm proud of myself, and I'm brave. And sick or not I am loved and extremely lucky to have a good therapist in my corner.

#therapy #personal #talk therapy #accomplishments #achievements #panicking #but also #feeling already less burdened #vulnerability #bravery #i love my therapist #anxiety #therapy is ugly sometimes therapy requires a lot of work on your own part sometimes and some leaps of faith #“go to therapy” i am and its hard and it wont “convert” me into becoming normal or “fix” me or make me more palatable to you #therapy is hard #but with the right person it is very worthwhile. you are not there to be normal. you are there for support and advice #and it is work. hard work. your therapist can't force you to do anything but you're going to have to work hard to feel better and live happy #practicing gratitude #but just for my loved ones and therapist everything else still sucks just as bad as it did yesterday. but im still lucky on this front #personal rambles #hype me up #hyping myself up #just really trying super hard to overcome the hurdles so i have the opportunity to put in the work and feel better #trying my best #mental health #she is so good. inherently. no matter what she sees a person worthy of kindness and not a monster #i just know if you gave her a literal serial killer as a client she would treat them with the same dignity kindness and respect as anyone #else #she is just that good. like a guardian angel. her job is to help you and not to judge you and you know that she loves the work she does #that she really cares and that she is a beacon of hope for anyone who talks to her. i wish i could be so good. i admire her more than anyone

[butchtichel]

My rabbi’s last piece of advice to me today was “just start living like a Jew. You can’t plan and prepare for everything ahead of time. You’re already mostly there, and at the end of the day you’ve already made up your mind.” And that’s wonderful and made me feel really great! But is also terrifying and like wait no David come back I need to know my exact parameters

#specifying that this is not Advice For Every Convert #but was specific advice to me from my rabbi because of my circumstances #I don’t know if that needs clarified in the first place but like #don’t take anything I say as a blanket statement please this is the internet #thinking thoughts

[jewishconvertthings]

How to Immediately Ingratiate Yourself in [Most] Jewish Communities

(*caveat that I'm an American, liberal Jew, so my experiences are not universal despite being common)

So you've just started going to shul and you're worried about fitting in with the congregation. Or, perhaps, you're moving out of the community you converted in and are worried about finding your place in a new community. Maybe you're switching shuls. Whatever the reason, you're starting in a new community and want to be accepted right away. Here are some tips for becoming a rapidly accepted fixture in the community:

If your community has a weekday minyan, go to minyan. That will show you who the real machers are in the community: the ones who make services happen regularly and who aren't shy about calling or texting people to get butts in seats. If you're Jewish, you might be Jew #10, the perennial hero of daveners everywhere. If not, you're communicating to them that possibility in the future. (No one was more excited for me to finish conversion than the minyan regulars.)

Okay but what if I'm a woman (or not halachicly male person) attending a non-egalitarian community? If it's liberal orthodox community and/or has a partnership minyan, I'd still consider going. I attended morning minyan at my Modern Orthodox shul for months before I completed my conversion because it was less awkward than going to the Conservative minyan and having to clarify that no, they still couldn't count me yet. (And I really liked the people and the post-minyan drash the rabbi would give.) They were actually delighted to have me holding up the women's side of the mechitza and welcoming in the occasional women who would come for a yahrzeit.

Do you have rhythm and/or are possessed of decently good coordination? Learn the cup song! [Tutorial] People will be very excited albeit potentially confused if it comes out that you didn't grow up going to Jewish summer camp. (I'd just tell them you saw the song on the internet and thought it looked fun.)

Are you musically talented or a semi-competant guitar player? Many communities would love to involve you in the songful parts of the service if you let leadership know.

In general, pay attention to what your community is always begging for volunteers for, especially things you can do as a non-Jew or not-quite-yet-Jew if that's your situation, and sign up for one or two things you think you'd be good at. I would say it's better to pick one thing and focus your energy on being THAT guy rather than trying to do a little of everything (voice of experience here.) Real life examples I can think of: being a greeter, arranging set-up for events, helping out with food prep such as kiddush or post-minyan bagels, running groceries to homebound congregants, delivering mishloach manot if your community does that, childcare or assisting with children's activities if you like kids, etc.

Put a fair amount of energy into remembering people's names and faces, and try to work out early who is related to whom. Bonus points if you can file away information about their lives that they tell you during your conversations with them.

If you're asked to do honors by the gabbai, try to say yes to anything you know how to do and are qualified to do halachicly. If you're not Jewish, many liberal communities will still let you open the ark or take a multi-person aliyah with someone who is Jewish, or have you read some of the contemporary English language prayers. Bonus points for if you are able to learn and perform hagbah (especially if you're left-handed/able to hagbah when the sefer Torah is heavy on the left side.)

Honestly, if you're between the ages of 18 - 35, most communities will be thrilled you're there and tripping over themselves to get you to come back. In combination with the above? You're their new best friend. If you are older than that or still a minor, they will still be very happy to have another friendly and helpful face, even if it's just that you regularly attend minyan.

Good luck and here's to becoming a beloved fixture in your new community!

#jewish convert things #convert advice #converting to judaism #jumblr

[rosypixels]

does anyone possibly know if there is a “converting ts4 clothes to ts3 tutorial for dummies who don’t know what the internet is” kind of tutorial? i want something really simple that will also explain the programs, because i’m unfamiliar w those 😭

#love.txt #i know converting is really hard #maybe i should start with something small like items ?? but idk! #if anyone has any advice pls feel free!!! #theres so many pretty ts4 clothes i want in my game 😭

[slowips]

wanderer is the type of person who, if you tell him you're sad, will say "just don't be sad" and mean it genuinely.

#with irony. #/ #i will die on this hill lmao. the thing abt him is that he knows this advice is like... true to a certain extent #but he's not going to care if it's true for all extents as long as it works yk #i headcanon he doesnt like having people around when he's sad but after a while he'll toss his feelings aside to convert to anger and just. #go abt his day as if nothing happened idk do i look like i am obsessed with him (i am. a little) #q: with thoma.

[brightgnosis]

I'm studying about Shabbat right now. The module started in class yesterday, and since we don't have class again until April 7th, we were actively given homework to read the section in Essential Judaism about it. So of course I'm being me and reading the suggested text- but also reading Living a Jewish Life, and Living Judaism, and The Divine Code (the last just for giggles to revisit my Noahide days). I also have another book entirely about Shabbat, that's a fairly old text, that I may read as well, if I feel like it.

One thing that keeps coming up, though, is that Shabbat is rest from work, right? From labor; it's supposed to be a time of peace from all the nonsense you have to deal with throughout the week, and allow you to just reconnect with your friends and family, yourself, your interests, HaShem, etc ... But I'm kind of struggling with that a little bit, honestly?

Like, I understand it logically and theoretically. And I understand how that works for, like ... Normal people, right. People who actually do have jobs. Who actually do have children. Who actually do have friends, family they're not estranged from, an active Jewish community, etc; people who legitimately actually need to "rest from the work and various labors of the week".

But I'm disabled. What does that actually look like for someone like me? What does Shabbat look like for a disabled Jew who doesn't have any of that? Who doesn't have a job and does not perform significant labor? Who cannot have children. Someone who practically never leaves the house. Who doesn't have any friends. Who's estranged from their family. Who can't take a break from babysitting their Mother in Law for health reasons, etc?

Because yeah, I light the candles and I say the prayers and I do all the things you're supposed to do for Shabbat ... But it doesn't feel any different from my everyday day-to-day, y'know? It doesn't feel like any kind of a break like it's supposed to. It just feels like a normal day for me, because I'm doing the same thing I'm basically always doing already- I'm just not doing a couple things, and now there's some pretty candles and prayers and food involved. And as a result, I'm really struggling to actually keep up with it.

So, like ... How is someone like me supposed to find rest and peace in Shabbat? How are people like me supposed to make it our own and find meaning like that in it when this already is our daily reality (just not as pretty)? Because I want to celebrate Shabbat ... But when it looks no different than any other day for me ... How do you actually make that separation appropriately?

It feels weirdly isolating being a disabled Jew in this particular regard. Especially when Shabbat is so incredibly central to Judaism.

ETA: Listen. I appreciate help here. I actively want help, here, because I'm really struggling with this ... But saying any variation of "Just like every element of Judaism, you make it what you make it, and engage with it in whatever way is meaningful to you" is a non-answer. You're not telling me anything I don't already know, and which isn't constantly reiterated in every book I'm reading right now. It also addresses nothing I'm actually speaking about in this post- which is this (in the words of a Goy friend):

If you're [already] resting every day, a designated day of rest doesn't really stand out [like it's supposed to], does it?

Getting passive aggressive and salty with me, and saying nonsense like "well I'm a disabled Jew and this is just my reality" because I politely thanked you for your contribution but said your contribution ultimately did not actually address what I said in this post, will get your comments deleted and your username added to my block list. Please don't be that person. It's not nice or helpful.

#ADVICE WELCOME IF YOU'RE A DISABLED JEW OR DISABLED AND CONVERTING TOO #wolffrankx #Personal #2024 #Jewish Studies #Just Potential Jewish Convert Things #Jewblr #Jumblr

[whimsycore]

Identifying the white people you know are going to a problem before they can start shit is pivotal when you’re a black woman