#could be because patton was being too hard on thomas

[glacierruler]

Patton Sanders Analysis

Taglist: @januscorner @pandagobrr @icycove @cutebisexualmess @oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat

@part-time-zombie

Post Under the Read More, it is long!

This is an analysis of Patton Sanders. Putting this here right now, I relate to Patton Sanders a lot. This is of the official episodes, and not the Asides!

Patton Sanders is Thomas’s morality and emotions.

Very important distinction is that he is Thomas’s morality not The Morality. He is not the arbiter of right and wrong, he is the aspect of Thomas that was raised a certain way to believe that certain things were right or wrong.

Within the first episode, Patton is acting as Morality first. This is important because that’s how he always seems to act as first. He always tries to be Morality and then emotions. However, this is not beneficial.

In the first episode he asks Thomas, “What positive impacts do you inevitably hope to bring to this world?”

Thomas is surprised by this, as it seems that Morality is more of a comic relief character in the beginning in his eyes. While probably due to the fact that the series was not initially supposed to be more than a few episodes long iirc, it can also be taken another way. It’s a way to show that Patton is smarter, and does think a lot deeper than how he appears to. Because he’s always trying to be happy (as happy is a good emotion. We’ll get into emotions and morality in a bit). However, when Thomas notes that it is surprising for Patton to say something like that, Patton points to his and Logan’s glasses, noticing that they’re the same.

Why does he do this? What could he possibly gain from doing this? I believe this is because he doesn’t wish to be seen as the deep philosophical side, but as the Happy Pappy Patton (something he says in a later episode). Being deep like this could effect how the other sides see him, and (like all the sides) doesn’t want to be seen that way.

There are a few other things to note in the first episode, when talking about his flaws, Patton says, “you can be a bit selfish with your food and your other belongings.” Which is notably something that Thomas does, but in the section where they talk about his good attributes, the moral side states “you believe there’s good in everyone,” which is something that Thomas thinks. And it’s our first clue to just how hard on Thomas, and himself, that Patton really is. If you can say something you’re doing wrong morally but can’t say an action that you’re taking to do something correct, it begs the question, how hard are you one yourself?

Morality is learned, it is not something you’re born just knowing right off the bat. This is important, because it’s important to keep in mind that Patton’s views are Thomas’s views on morality.

In A New Year of Lying to Myself… In Song!!! Morality and Logic butt heads, Patton is attempting to use his sway over Thomas to have him learn to cook more, while Logan wants him to learn something new. Patton doesn’t seem to quite believe it when Logan tells him that Thomas has “cooked in the kitchen plenty of times” since the WAY TOO ADULT (way too adult), and asks for proof. And I’m struck with why, since Thomas is them wouldn’t Patton be able to see Thomas cooking? While Logan is Logic and contains information Thomas learns, like cooking (therefore it making sense that Logan would be perhaps a little more aware than Patton), Patton is at the forefront of Thomas’s morality. And he had deemed it morally good for Thomas to cook. It would be completely reasonable to assume that Patton would be aware of that. Unless the only reason he deemed it morally correct is because, and I’m quoting to the best of my ability since this is said when Roman, Patton, and Logan are speaking over each other, “The basic essential things, that you need to learn to seriously become an adult to succeed at adulting.” (Again, very much trying to hear what he was saying in order to get this quote, I may be slightly off on what he said). Based on this, he views it as something everyone who is an adult does and knows how to do. Which very much reminds me of how neurodivergents like myself mask. We don’t know how to do something and so we’re hard on ourselves for not being able to do it, yet it’s something that otherwise isn’t important to us or how we function. I think this is Patton’s views on Thomas cooking. He believes it essential to how Thomas can take care of and survive on his own, which is why it’s morally correct to learn, however it isn’t actually something he deems important enough to pay attention to.

Also Patton already has an aversion to lying in this episode. He doesn’t try to seem positive and upbeat in this, or attempt to be gracious to Thomas about New Years goals. He just agrees, not wanting to lie as that’s wrong but not seeing anything positive he could say in Thomas’s defence (which again, leads me to believe he is extremely hard on Thomas and in turn himself. This is corroborated in other episodes as well).

Thankfully Logic, Morality, and Princey reach an agreement of small goals that Thomas could make in that episode. (Which solves that episode’s problems, but not Thomas’s of being hard on himself, this is something I hope to revisit.)

One of the first times Patton encourages Roman, from what I’ve seen, is in I’M IN A DISNEY SHOW!! (I’m in a disney show!!) This is because Roman is excited about the fact that Thomas was in a disney show, despite being there himself. He was achieving his hopes and dreams, and Roman was excited. Virgil tells him “You were there… princey, we’re both factors of his personality.” This prompts Patton to tell Anxiety to let Roman express his emotions. While I agree with the sentiment, I think this is the first we see of the sense of emotions and morality feed into the ego. Which will end up being a problem (As we will discuss later in this essay).

Patton then proceeds to tell Thomas that “I just want to support you in everything you do. Plus I saw you had some leftover pizza?” While I completely believe the sentiment of that first statement is true, by saying he wants pizza right after he is undermining that first statement. And I think that’s because he only cares to the point of where Thomas is happy when it comes to Thomas’s hopes and dreams. (This is because he Morality and Emotions, this is Not because he Unsympathetic, I want to make this clear. While I am being critical of Patton, I am in no way shape or form calling him unsympathetic!) This interaction is proof that while Patton wants Thomas to be happy and morally in the right when it comes to how he’s happy he doesn’t seem to care.

In The MIND vs. The HEART (The Mind vs. The Heart) is when we get the confirmation that Morality is also deeper emotions and empathy.

I think that this bit of diologue from Thomas himself illustrates Patton’s constant struggle. “Dad guy. You  encourage me to do what’s right and strive to do the most good in this world that I possibly can. And I appreciate that. But a lot of times I spread myself too thin. I also tend to make others a priority over me, and their feelings a priority over mine.” Patton is Morality, he has learned to put other’s emotions over his own. He has learned to put other people before him.

Another problem I believe Patton to have is not listening to others because he believes himself to always be in the right. He is morality after all, he knows what he’s doing, he believes that his default is to be good so therefore he is good. So in a lot of the videos, whenever he’s not specifically addressed, or has some sort of stake in it he tends to go off and do his own thing. If Thomas isn’t feeling bad, and if he isn’t doing something that is deemed morally wrong by Patton, then what is Patton supposed to do.

However, as seen in all of this, he is also Thomas’s emotions. He is not just how Thomas views right and wrong, but how he feels in each and every situation. Having to handle not only what’s right and wrong, but Thomas’s emotions is a hard job. But it’s the job he has. And he can’t be wrong, because if he’s wrong, if he’s in the wrong. Then Thomas is, and then Thomas is a bad person, in Pattons point of view. While one of Patton’s fears might be spiders, I believe an even greater one is if he was wrong the whole time, if because he was wrong and Thomas was wrong, that he led Thomas to be a bad person. And this is only really brought to the front by Janus. While the others tell Patton he’s being too hard on Thomas, Janus shows it in the form of Frog Patton hurting Thomas. I think one of the reasons it’s so hard for Patton to understand this is because he doesn’t want to be anything other than Thomas’s Happy Pappy Patton. Nothing more than the morality and positive emotions that keep Thomas upbeat. If he’s anything other than that then he believes he’s failed as a side. He solves the tinier problems without addressing the bigger ones because he didn’t understand what exactly he was doing wrong.

Yes, he had been told he was being overbearing, spreading Thomas too thin. But he was never told how detrimental that was, how wrong for Thomas it was. He just knew that he and Logan butted heads about it a lot because of Thomas’s schedule. After all, he can’t be wrong, he’s the moral side, the side that knows right and wrong. And Roman, Virgil, and Logan all enhance this idea so much! In Growing Up, they tell Patton to stick to knowing the difference between right and wrong, and then go and ask him for help. They consistently tear Patton down to Just Morality or Just Emotions depending on the video. And at the beginning of the series they barely listen to him as is. I think this fundamentally changes in both MOVING ON (Moving On) parts 1 and 2. This is where they start to realize he’s not just Morality or Happy Emotions. But Morality and All of Thomas’s Emotions in general.

“I feel guilty for still feeling this way for so long.” Patton doesn’t like feeling horrible, especially not for long periods of time. Possibly because he’s been taught that negative emotions are bad, possibly because it makes Thomas feel bad and he feels guilty. But with him being Morality as well… It makes it so that negative emotions feed into the Thomas Is Doing Something Wrong complex, meaning he has to figure out what’s going on and sort that out while dealing with, you guessed it, emotions! It’s a loop, a repeating pattern of events that he doesn’t know how to stop, and It Is Of My Opinion that that is because while Morality is something learned, after a while it feels like something that is engrained into your being.

There is also a habit of whenever Roman is feeling down or bruised of Patton going to and helping him. Which isn’t necessarily bad, however we don’t see the other sides do this nearly as often. In Am I ORIGINAL? (Am I Original?) Patton is the first to reassure Roman that content doesn’t have to be original, after Thomas tells him that he could never disappoint him. And then, in the very next episode, Patton is the only one reassuring Princey after his ego has been bruised. And I think this really sets up a sideline of Patton being there for Roman and helping him out, which makes Roman really rely on him a lot. This is also emphasized in The Sanders Sides 12 SIDES OF CHRISTMAS (The Sanders Sides 12 Sides Of Christmas), when all the sides are getting onto Roman’s song lyric for Virgil, and Patton has to be the one to tell all of them to be nice to the princely side. (Janus also uses this fact in Can Lying Be Good, to try to get Roman to side with him). Now this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but if your source of ego is getting fed by only one facet of your personality that can end up being a devastating blow when that part is proven to be faulty or wrong.

While there have been attempts to reign Patton in, I don’t think he fully understood that how hard he was being on Thomas was ultimately harming him. As none of them were nearly bad as the events that transpired to get us to the Selfishness vs Selflessness and Putting Other’s First. “Roman I thought you fought for honor? Why are you pushing Thomas to be dishonest?” This is what Patton says to Roman about possibly lying to his friend’s to go to the callback. This seems inconsequential, but I wonder if Roman would have made the same decision had Patton not said that. In Putting Other’s First, Janus and Patton butt heads, arguing about Morality and Why People Should Do Things. And Roman takes Patton’s side. I think this is due to the fact that while he knew Thomas wouldn’t be happy at the wedding, he also ‘knew’ that it was the right thing to do because Patton is (Thomas’s) Morality, and Patton has to be right about this. Not only that but Patton has been there for him time and time again and he wanted to return the favor. Be a prince.

Yet Patton learned, by turning into a frog, that he was hurting Thomas. That while he might be doing what he believes to be Morally Correct, because of his actions, his beliefs, Thomas was being hurt. And he realized that what Janus was saying was true, and he was able to visualize just how badly he was hurting Thomas. But with how it ended up going down, it came at the expense of hurting Roman, of (I believe unintentionally) shattering the ego.

As per my first(not nearly as extensive) analysis, I said “Patton absolutely believes going to the wedding was the correct choice, but Thomas had been excited to be fulfilling his dreams of being an actor. And so the excitement of his friends getting married was dampened by the fact that he missed out on what could’ve been a dream job. And not only that, but now because Thomas is bummed about missing this opportunity, Patton feels guilty about the disappointment, because his friends are getting married and he should be happy and even excited about it. But he isn’t. And so, while morally Thomas did the right thing(according to Patton), because he isn’t happy about what’s happened, that essentially traps Patton in this circle of guilt. Guilt for the choice that Thomas made not making Thomas happy; and guilt for being at Lee and Mary-Lee’s wedding to celebrate and not being ecstatic for them.”

#glacier rambles #patton sanders #sanders sides #sasi #ts sides #thomas sanders sides #ts patton #patton #patton sanders analysis

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Emotional Distance

Ngl I feel like a lot of people sleep on the angst potential of Remus being the one to distance from Roman. Roman's discomfort from Janus saying "You know I love you"? His initial distrust of Virgil and trying to keep distance plus the jabs? His desire to not be like his brother? His people pleasing? All of it could be fed into based on that concept alone. It can be taken in so many hard angst or hurt/comfort directions. – ax3-e0ns

Read on Ao3

Warnings: roman has pretty severe abandonment issues

Pairings: none

Word Count: 3783

Once upon a time, in an Imagination far away, there lived Creativity. Creativity spent his days making anything he wanted. He made skies of sapphires and great stone castles. He made forests of magical trees and filled them with wonderful creatures. He filled the sky with diamonds and made stories that anyone could get lost in, because the happy endings would find them and everything would be right again. But stories do not stay the same, we do not always get our happy endings. And when Creativity rips itself apart, it seems as though there might never be a happy ending ever again. But Remus is back. And now Roman has to deal with seeing his brother after they've been Split.

 

Virgil didn’t think too much of it. Princey was going to be a jerk to him because he presented obstacles to Princey having everything he ever dreamed of—or what Thomas ever dreamed of. But that was his job, so he didn’t care. If pressed, he might actually admit he enjoyed the verbal sparring. Princey was fun to mess with and remind that he wasn’t actually the perfect prince he claimed to be. C’mon, the flaws in perfection are fun to mess with. And if Roman blew himself up and got all blustery and rude, well, that was just incentive to keep going.

Yeah, sure, some of Princey’s insults hurt more than others, but that was a risk that came with the job. They were making a habit of it, throwing sharp words back and forth, some of them were bound to hit eventually. Besides, Virgil always gave as good as he got and it wasn’t like the others would let Roman get away with it. He may or may not have been keeping a tally of how many times they made Roman apologize for something he said. And it wasn’t like Roman only aimed for the soft spots. He knew better.

So yeah, it wasn’t surprising to Virgil that Roman tried to keep him at a distance. That’s what they were supposed to do, wasn’t it?

2.

Patton gets it. He’s a lot! He can be overwhelming and enthusiastic and sometimes that’s not what people want. He’s all about making sure people are happy and if that means they need to take a break sometimes, that’s what they should do!

He’s just happy that Roman lets him know.

The two of them get along really well most of the time: they have their own inside jokes and they go on adventures in the Imagination together and they watch funny cat videos and they talk about the stories they want to read, it’s the best. They have great fun just messing around doing absolutely ridiculous arts and crafts projects that normally end up with both of them covered in glitter and their new things proudly displayed on the wall in Patton’s room. He always asks Roman if he wants them in his room instead, but Roman always says no.

“All my walls are covered with my stuff, I want you to have the stuff we made,” he says, “unless you really don’t want it…?”

But Patton always does, so he puts it up and Roman grins when he comes over and sees it.

But sometimes they need slow days. So they bake or just watch something and sometimes even that’s a bit too much. So Patton doesn’t mind when Roman says he’s too worn out to do something that afternoon after they went into the Imagination the day before and made cookies all afternoon the day before that. It’s the right thing to do, really, to help support Roman. After all, Roman’s always so good with making sure he feels better and gets him all cheered up, it’s the lease he can do to leave Roman be when he asks for it, right?

So no, Patton doesn’t think about it too much. Roman likes to be left alone sometimes, and that’s okay.

3.

Janus understands, he does, but that doesn’t mean he has to like it.

Roman was easy to manipulate. Roman always has been easy to manipulate. When Roman discovered just how much he’d been manipulated, it made sense that he would react…strongly. Insults, yes, pushing him to the outskirts of the conversations, yes, banishing himself away when Janus came around, yes, yes, all of that. And Janus would weather it with minimal complaint because it was fair. Completely justified? No, not really, but understandable.

He would be happier about it if it weren’t so obviously hurting Roman too.

Creativity is not something to be neglected. It needs an outlet, somewhere to express itself, somewhere it can be appreciated, even if it’s only internally. And Roman has more than his fair share of personal projects, things he never lets Thomas see, but he doesn’t let them see it either. And it seems like he goes out of his way to keep it like that.

Every time Patton asks him what he’s been up to: vague answer. Any time Logan asks him for a brain storm: only Thomas’s ideas. Even when Virgil lobs a painful softball about him being lazy or unproductive: volley back about Virgil being an expert or he just shoulders it without a response. And Janus can hear the lie of omission buzzing around Roman’s head but he can’t do a damn thing about it.

It’s not like Roman would ever open up to him. Not when it’s like pulling teeth to even get him to acknowledge that he’s upset about something more than just…surface level things.

So yes, Janus understands. He just hates that he does.

4.

Logan does not understand what is going on and he intends to get to the bottom of it.

Roman is isolating himself and intentionally keeping them all at a distance. There have been no long-lasting arguments that would result in such behavior, and any smaller disagreements have been settled to the best of everyone’s respective ability. He would not be amiss to ascribe a level of immaturity to Roman, but that seems an unlikely cause given Roman’s levelheadedness—and he did not ever think he would be attributing that characteristic to Roman—in other circumstances. So that means either it is something that Roman is not telling the rest of them about, or it is something else entirely.

He goes to Roman’s door after he opts out of movie night and knocks politely on the door. Roman comes to answer it in a plain T-shirt and shorts.

“Yes?”

“May I come in, please?”

Roman shifts but does not allow Logan entrance. “What did you need, Logan?”

Logan frowns. “You’ve been isolating yourself from us, why?”

Roman blinks, momentary surprise flickering over his features before it settles on a familiar half-smile. “Thought you’d be happy to not have to deal with me for a while, Specs. You miss me that much?”

“It’s not about whether I miss you, this pattern of behavior is alarming.”

“Are the others worried?”

“I would imagine they would be if they knew the extent to which you were—“

“So you didn’t ask them?”

“What?”

Roman sighs, running his hand through his hair. “Look, Logan, I’m not…’self-isolating,’ or whatever you want to call it. I’m just tired tonight and I don’t feel up to watching a movie with the rest of you. I’ll try and make it next week, okay?”

“That’s not—“ he catches the door when Roman tries to close it— “it’s more than just movie nights. You don’t talk to us about things that are bothering you, really bothering you, and you keep trying to brush us off when we ask about you or your projects.”

”Never thought you’d be the one anxious to hear about my work, especially when it falls outside of that 0.5%.”

“See? Like that.”

Roman shakes his head. “You should go back downstairs, Logan, they’re probably going to start the movie without you at this rate.”

“Now you’re not even trying to be subtle about it. You should—“

“Logan.”

The firmness of Roman’s voice startles him into silence. Roman gives him a look and gently yet firmly moves Logan’s hand off the door.

“I’d like to be left alone now,” he continues, jerking his head toward the stairs, “enjoy the movie.”

The door closes with a decisive click. Logan stares at it for a long moment before hanging his head and walking back downstairs.

”No luck?”

“No. He shut the door on me when I tried to push.”

Patton toys with the ears on his cat onesie. Virgil sinks a little more into his hoodie. Janus sighs.

“I don’t know what’s wrong.”

“Me neither.”

”I don’t know what else to do,” Logan says quietly as he takes a seat, “I don’t understand.”

“None of us do.”

5.

Then Remus appears.

He sends Thomas on a horror show roller coaster with a sinister music number and knocks Roman unconscious for nearly half an hour. For Janus and Virgil, it’s something they’d seen coming for a long time, for Patton and Logan, less so. Remus cackles and throws them all off guard every chance he gets, delighting in the mayhem he causes and everyone is left scrambling to pick up the pieces.

Everyone that is, except Roman.

The first time Roman sees Remus, he stops. Fully stops, staring at him, as Remus grins and keeps doing…whatever he’s doing with the inflatable dolphin. Eventually, he looks up and spots Roman and his grin widens.

“Ro-bro! Wanna help me out? I could really use a hand with the extra bamboo skewers.”

Patton quickly ducks behind Logan. Janus just sighs and Virgil mutters here we go.

Roman looks at him for a long pause.

“Remus,” he says eventually in a completely even voice, “you’re back.”

“Back and bloodier than ever!” A squib explodes on his chest as he spreads his arms. “Did you miss me?”

Something moves across Roman’s face too quick to name. He looks at the dolphin and then back at Remus. “Welcome back, I guess. Good luck with the skewers.”

And he turns and walks up the stairs.

They’ve never really described Roman as…cold before. And yet that’s exactly what it is. It’s not like with Logan, where he takes Remus’s creations apart with cold logic, or even that he ignores Remus altogether. No, it’s just…the briefest of acknowledgements, the weakest of yes-ands, the polite yet insistent removal of himself from whatever context Remus might be in.

It’s not what they expect from Roman. It’s exactly what they expect from Roman.

”He’s getting worse,” Patton mumbles when yet again Roman declines their invitation to dinner, “I don’t know what to do.”

“Is he still eating?” Virgil pushes his food around his plate. “I don’t see him eat anymore.”

”He’s eating, his box of snacks is still being emptied.”

“You check?”

“Of course I check, what do you take me for,” Janus scoffs, “an amateur?”

“We’re missing something.” Logan adjusts his glasses. “There’s something we haven’t taken into consideration.”

“Me.”

They all turn and look at Remus, eating his food on top of the fridge. Despite his comically contorted position, he looks oddly serious.

“I’m sure it’s not that,” Patton tries, “Roman missed you, he said so.”

“Yeah, he might’ve missed me, but it’s not like that makes up for anything.”

Logan frowns. “What do you mean, Remus?”

Remus sighs, setting his plate aside and getting down from the fridge, still strangely stoic. “I mean what happened when we were younger.”

“…what happened?”

+1.

Once upon a time, in an Imagination far away, there lived Creativity. Creativity spent his days making anything he wanted. He made skies of sapphires and great stone castles. He made forests of magical trees and filled them with wonderful creatures. He filled the sky with diamonds and made stories that anyone could get lost in, because the happy endings would find them and everything would be right again.

But as time went on, and the people got older, some of his ideas started to…change. Now he thought of deep caves filled with monsters, monsters that would kidnap people. The heroes would still rescue them, because they had to, but now they left with scars that didn’t heal quite right and memories that hurt to think about.

Creativity didn’t understand. He wanted to have fun with his work again, just make things that people would like—but what about what he thought of? Weren’t the dark ideas fun in their own way too?

No, because they hurt people—

—but those people aren’t real, so what does it matter?

Why did he want to hurt people?

Why did he hate the part of himself that kept coming up with these ideas?

He didn’t hate himself, he just wanted to be better—

—well, if he wanted to be better so badly, maybe it’d be better if he didn’t have these kinds of thoughts anymore.

Yes, that was it, he just wouldn’t have though thoughts—wait—wait, no, no, no!

Creativity Split and the Imagination howled in pain, a deep chasm forming between two sides: on one side stood the castle, the castle he had loved for years and years, and on the other rose a massive thing of oily black stone, a tower that stuck out like a sword hilt impaled in the earth. The forest grew black and twisted, monstrosities lurking around rickety hanging bridges. Creativity was no longer unified, no longer was control over the Imagination absolute.

The people of the Imagination found half of Creativity weeping on the floor of the castle, a bright sash of red the closest thing to blood it could manage. His tears ran gold over the white of his shirt, a new costume forming before their very eyes. He looked younger, stronger, more like the Prince they all expected him to be, except for his eyes.

A drawbridge shut that day for half of Creativity, and they never again saw it open.

Roman sighs as he opens his door and heads down the hall. Janus had been pestering him about a rematch for weeks and he’d just managed to get him to agree to a time. He picks up the well-worn deck of cards and starts down the stairs.

“I hope you’re ready,” he calls as he goes, “because I won’t be going easy on you this…time.”

He stops halfway down.

Janus is not the one sitting waiting in the living room. Instead, Remus looks up at him. His hands are folded in between his legs and he actually looks somber.

”Huh.” Roman glances at the cards and put them in his pocket. “So that’s what this was?”

“Yeah.”

“Janus doesn’t actually want that rematch, does he?”

“No, he does. I had to bribe him with a heat lamp with an extra long battery life to get him to help.”

“Mm. Is he in his room?”

“Yeah, I think so—wait,” he says quickly, standing up when Roman turns to go, “can we…talk?”

“You want to talk?”

“Yes, Ro, I want to talk.” Roman stops and just waits. “Can you—just come all the way down, for Beezlebub’s sake.”

Roman walks down the stairs and stands at the end, leaning against the banister with his arms crossed. Remus looks for a minute like he wants to protest before he sighs and walks over.

”I missed you.”

“I missed you too.”

“Did you?” Remus scoffs. “Because it seems like you want nothing to do with me.”

“I do miss you. I’m glad you’re back. It’s been hard without you.” Remus frowns. Roman inclines his head in the direction of the Imagination. “You know some of them still ask what happened?”

“You didn’t tell them?”

“I told them you wanted to follow your own path without me getting in the way.”

Remus suppresses a growl. “What else did you tell them?”

“To be careful going over the bridges if they went to go see you. I didn’t make you out to be the bad guy, Remus, I didn’t forbid any of them from seeing you. I never put up walls or a big sign that says don’t come back, or anything.”

“I know you didn’t.” Roman just nods and doesn’t say anything. Remus growls again and lightly shoves his shoulders. “Where are you? What’re you doing, aren’t you mad at me? Say something!”

“I mean, I’m not thrilled that you left without helping me fix that outer wall—“

“Then let’s go do it!”

Before Roman can say anything, Remus grabs his shoulder and sinks them into the Imagination. He shakes his head to get his bearings—it’s so much harder to sink right in as opposed to going through one of their doors—and sees Remus already hefting a giant block of stone.

“Well? Come on, we can do it together.”

Roman goes over and helps Remus lift the stone block into place. One by one, they repair the wall. Remus keeps trying to get him to talk. He doesn’t. They put the last one in and Remus stands back, panting with a beaming smile.

“There, how’s that?”

“Looks good. Thank you.”

Remus’s smile drops. “That’s it?”

“I mean, it’s not like we can extra fix the wall—“ he’s cut off when Remus shoves his shoulder. Hard.

“Stop it,” he snarls, stalking forward and shoving him again, “whatever you’re doing, whatever punishment this is supposed to be for me, it’s working, alright? You’ve made your point, you’ve punished me, I’m sorry, now stop it!”

“Stop what?”

”This!” Remus shoves him again. “This thing where you’re being all cold and stoic and emotionless and letting me shove you around!”

He does it with two hands this time, enough to make Roman stumble. Roman dodges out of the way of the next one and it just makes Remus angrier.

“I didn’t come back for this—this version of you, I want my brother back!”

“This is your brother!”

Roman grabs him and pins him against a different part of the crumbling wall. He’s panting now, not quite glaring at Remus, who must’ve gotten the wind knocked out of him. He takes a deep breath and lets it out as calmly as he can.

”You left,” he says, deliberately slowly, “you tore us apart because that’s what you wanted. You wanted out, you wanted to be away from me. Do you have any idea what that did to the rest of Creativity?”

Remus’s lower lip wobbles as he shakes his head.

“Creativity got sorted into you and what wasn’t you. It hurt, Remus. You have no idea how much it hurt.” He tightens his grip until his nails dig into Remus’s arms. “Because you ripped free but you were going somewhere. You…you left me there.”

“I didn’t know,” Remus manages, “I…I didn’t know.”

Roman scoffs before he can stop himself. “Of course you didn’t. How could you? You weren’t here.”

He lets go and pushes himself away, turning and walking a few paces. Behind him, he can hear Remus pulling himself together.

“But I’m back now,” he hears, and his fists clench, “I’m back, Ro. We can—ah!”

He reels back, covering his bloody nose with a hand. He looks up, panting.

“Okay, I deserve that.”

Roman punches him again.

“That too.”

He draws his leg back and aims right between—

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, not that, not that, maybe not that.”

Roman stops, breathing slightly heavier. Remus looks up at him, blood gushing from his nose. He turns his back again, taking a deep breath. The crumbling tower looms over them, its fractured shadow etching black lines into the ground. The grass rustles as Remus takes another step closer. Roman raises his chin.

“You left and it hurt me,” he says, trying to keep his voice even, “it still hurts. I won’t go through something like that again, Remus.”

“Is that why you won’t get close to the others?”

“I know better now.”

For a brief second, something wells up in his chest, strong enough to take his breath away and threaten tears at the corners of his eyes. He chokes it back and shoves it under his tongue.

“I think you should go now,” he says, choking a little, “thank you for fixing the wall.”

He only has the briefest of moments before he hears two quick steps and something throws itself at his back.

Warm warm warm solid real Remus safe brother hug hold keep stay Remus no don’t warm cold so cold so cold it hurts it hurts please stop oh god don’t let go—

“Go,” he chokes out, the force of the hug and the emotions running through him breaking his voice, “Remus, go, go, just leave, you need to leave, I can’t do this again, just go, just go—“

Remus doesn’t let go. He digs his heels in and locks his arms around Roman’s waist. He tucks his head against the space between Roman’s shoulder blades and holds on, even as Roman starts to pull and push at his arms.

“No, no, no, Remus, no,” he manages, sobs beginning to steal his voice too, “let go, let me go, you have to go, you have to leave, you have to…you have to, I can’t do this again, you can’t do this to me again, I can’t, I can’t—“

His knees buckle, sending him to the ground. Remus is on him the second he lands, wrapping his legs around him too like a koala, just clinging onto him for dear life. Roman tries to get away, tries to pry him off, tries to crawl, but the warmth and solid arms around him keep making his limbs turn to jelly. HE can’t catch his breath, not with the way Remus’s mustache keeps scratching against his ear because that’s his brother, his brother is back, his brother is hugging him, his brother won’t let him go, he won’t leave, he won’t leave again—

“I’m here,” Remus whispers as Roman starts to sob desperately, “I’m right here, Roro, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m here now, I’m not leaving, I won’t leave, I promise.”

Roman thrashes, wiggling in Remus’s hold. “Let me—wanna hold you—let me—le’ me turn ‘round—“

Remus lets up just enough for Roman to turn and get his arms round his neck, clinging to him life a raft in a storm and sobbing to his shoulder. He hunches protectively over his brother and presses his cheek hard to the crown of Roman’s head.

“I’m here now,” he murmurs over and over, “I’m here, I’m not leaving, I’m here, I’m here.”

Gold tears mix with silver tears. Blood drips onto red and green sashes. White meets black in a fierce embrace as the setting sun turns the green grass red, red, red. The brothers stay there, wrapped around each other, as the Imagination shudders once more.

The tower stands, crumbling it may be, but it stands.

Happy endings will find them and everything will be alright again.

General Taglist: @frxgprince@potereregina@gattonero17@iamhereforthegayshit@thefingergunsgirl@awkwardandanxiousfander@creative-lampd-liberties@djpurple3@winterswrandomness@sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes@iminyourfandom@bullet-tothefeels@full-of-roman-angst-trash  @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind@demoniccheese83@pattonsandershugs @el-does-photography @princeanxious@firefinch-ember@fandomssaremysoul@im-an-anxious-wreck@crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch@enby-ralsei@unicornssunflowersandstuff@wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv  @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams@averykedavra @a-ghostlight-for-roman @treasurechestininterweb @cricketanne @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws@cecil-but-gayer@i-am-overly-complicated@annytheseal@alias290@tranquil-space-ninja @arxticandy @mychemically-imbalanced-romance@whyiask@crows-ace @emilythezeldafan@frida0043 @ieatspinalcords @snowyfires@cyanide-violence@oonagh2@xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx@rabbitsartcorner @percy-07734@triflingassailantofmyemotions @virgil-sanders-the-gay-emo@cerulean-watermelon@puffed-up-bees@meltheromanstan@joyrose-fandomer@insanitori@mavenmush@justablah65@10paradox10@uhhh-hi-there-i-am-nervous@cutebisexualmess@bella-bugatti-frogetti-baguetti@ultrageekygirl

#dragonbabbles #roman sanders #roman angst #roman sanders angst #remus sanders #sympathetic remus #janus sanders #deceit sanders #sympathetic deceit #logan sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #fic

[tss-whumper]

had a small idea. kinda just a one-line prompt but hey. names could always be changed hence the brackets lol

"hey, hey, (roman)." (remus) says quietly, "it's okay. you're safe. well, as safe as you can be with him around."

omg i LOVEE this! let me see what kinds of scenario i can come up with for ya!

pierrot

(cw -> whumper!patton, implied physical abuse, mention of kinks)

"Hey, hey, Roman," Remus says quietly, "It's okay. You're safe. well, as safe as you can be with him around."

Roman smiles and nods rapidly, doing anything he can to make it clear to Remus how okay he is. He has to be okay, he has to be carefree and unafraid. Patton is standing right there. If he finds out that Roman told anybody about the things that happen when the cameras stop rolling, the chatty prince might just need to be silenced.

But of course, Remus doesn't know that. Remus doesn't know anything about the bursts of purple and yellow peppered across his skin underneath his bright white prince costume. Remus doesn't know that Roman's mouth tastes metallic because of how hard he has to bite his tongue so nobody can hear him screaming. Patton is Morality. The good guy. Nobody can know that he has to tan the hide of the pathetic little prince who can't follow simple rules.

All Roman dared to tell Remus about was the horrible things Patton said to him during punishments. And even that was already proving to be too much for the outspoken side to sit on.

As the video starts being recorded and Thomas appears, Remus reaches for Roman's hand so his brother has something steady to keep himself grounded. When Roman doesn't take it, Remus puts a hand on Roman's shoulder instead, causing Roman to tense up and stare at the floor, his entire body tight and still.

It isn't that Remus' touch isn't comforting. In fact, it's quite the opposite. Remus' warm hand, calloused and dry, feels familiar, and Roman almost feels protected. Loved. But really, he can't let himself go and fall into the feeling because every time he dares to look up, he gets trapped in Patton's icy blue eyes as they stare right at him, unblinking, as the father figure grins widely.

"Oh, you're a naughty one, aren't you?" Patton mumbles, so quietly that not even Roman can hear it. "That's okay. It's my job to help people atone for their wrongdoings. That's what Morality's for. I'll ensure your loose lips don't cause anyone anymore trouble, my darling prince. I'm so grateful for the opportunity I have to lead you down the right path..."

---

When the episode is over, nobody feels great about it. The problem doesn't really get solved. No questions really get answered. Patton is seething behind his smile.

"Roman, sweetheart, can you help me out in my room?" he asks in a sing-song voice.

Roman's breathing grows ragged. Remus stands in front of him.

"What, so you can berate him again?" he challenges, "Call him a brat, a worthless little Pierrot? He told me everything, Patton. If degradation's your kink, I won't shame you for it, but don't use my brother to beat off to it. You know how sensitive he is."

"Roman is no prince," Patton whispers, a manic smile growing on his face as his eyes glint with the knowledge of a secret. "He is a Pierrot. He's a sad little clown, with nothing better to do than to spread lies about me. It really is crazy what jealousy can do to a person."

"I'm not jealous of you!" Roman protests quickly, rushing to Patton and getting in his face, begging for some of his attention. "I swear, I'm not. I'm happy that you're the favorite side now, I'm happy that you're getting the praise you deserve! I didn't really tell Remus everything, he just thinks I did. Everything's safe with me, everything! I promise! I am a prince, I am honorable and noble. I promise."

His voice grows more shaky and desperate with each sentence until words that should have been grand declarations turn into desperate pleas.

"Come on, Pierrot," Patton says sweetly, gently holding Roman's long, slender hand and guiding him away from Remus. "Let's go to my room. Talk things out...maybe over some cookies."

Remus' skin becomes hot with anger, and he reaches out for his brother, but the two sink down before Remus even has the chance to extend his arm all the way. They're gone. And now, nobody is going to get in the way of Roman's punishment.

#whump writing #roman sanders #sanders sides #tss #sanders sides fic #sanders sides fanfic #sanders sides fanfiction #whump prompt #whump community #whump fic #remus sanders #patton sanders #tss roman #tss remus #tss patton #ts roman #ts remus #ts patton #unsympathetic patton #sympathetic remus #creativetwins #creativity twins #implied abuse #implied physical abuse #mention of kinks #whumpee roman #whumper patton #caretaker remus #tss whumper requests

[mysisypheannightmare]

Pause

Word Count: 1812

Warnings: Patton acting very unsympathetic (gaslighting mostly), some negative thinking

--

Logan had accomplished something great today.

He showed Thomas a new video-editing software that he determined should significantly improve his content output speeds and would also run adequately on his current computer equipment. Thomas learning about the new features gave Logan a much-desired confidence boost and he wanted to smile as Thomas quietly let out "ooh"s and "aww"s at the short preview video from the software's website.

He sat across from him at the table as Thomas closed his laptop, and he explained very simply that if Thomas held back on takeout for the week and refrained from buying anything from Redbubble (as tempting as it may be) until next month, he should have more than enough saved up to purchase and download the new software. He would have to learn the new system in order to use it properly, but Logan had assured him that he would read the instructions thoroughly and stick with Thomas throughout the process so he could have it learned in no time.

Thomas had enthusiastically agreed.

Logan marked a calendar, noting to skip fast food for the week and online purchases for the month, and then circled Thomas' pay date. That was when he could buy the software, right alongside with paying his bills.

Oh! And he reminded him, don't forget, he needed to do his taxes sooner rather than later, because the refund could come in handy!

Satisfied, Logan began to sink out, only to hear someone else pop in as he did so.

He thought nothing of it as he entered his room.

He recalibrated his calendar, having successfully convinced Thomas of a way to increase productivity.

He was glad all the research and reviewing for a new video software had actually paid off, considering he'd been desperate to find some kind of new task that would benefit Thomas. And with the new predicted increase in productivity, Thomas would soon have better availability for filming, spending time with his friends, and pursuing his hobbies on the side.

Sure, Virgil won't like the adjustment period for the new changes but Logan intended to promise him he'd make that transition as smooth as possible.

And yes, being frugal for the month will be rough, especially with Roman around, but he'd already prepared room in the budget for some slip-ups just in case.

And Patton will hopefully realize that Thomas can create his own comfort foods right at home, within his budget, and it wouldn't affect anything negatively at all.

Logan had covered all his bases, made sure everyone would be accommodated within reason, and Thomas could still benefit the most out of this decision.

Logan felt accomplished. Well, perhaps he could have set up a better worksheet that allocated and compared the reviews he'd read about new and available software… but he was still satisfied with the results he received!

A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts, and he turned and walked over to it automatically.

The moment he opened the door, he was greeted by Patton's strained smile.

"Hey, Lo," he said, teeth gritted in a way that made Logan instantly uncomfortable. "Can I come in?"

In lieu of a response, Logan merely stepped aside, allowing Patton to stride on into the room and then turn around to face the other side as he shut the door gently.

He wasn't the most adept at reading others' emotions, but he could sense Patton wasn't happy at the very least. Something must have upset him.

"Is something the matter?" Logan asked, confused by Patton's behavior.

"What? No!" Patton's expression changed nearly four times, far too rapidly for Logan to interpret what any of them could be. "No, no, see, I was just...worried, about you! From the way it sounds lately, you seem to be working really hard, Logan!"

Logan wasn't sure if that was meant to be a compliment or not. The words sounded correct for one, but Patton's tone seemed bizarre. Logan frowned.

Emotions were quite difficult to understand.

Perhaps Patton was worried about his uptick in productivity?

"I assure you," Logan tried, "I have made no strain on myself. I only take on what I can handle, as we all should."

Patton's eyes had narrowed at him for a moment as they both stood in silence.

Perhaps he had misread Patton's intentions with his statement, after all.

"I'm no lie-detector, Logan, but I get the feeling that's not entirely true," Patton told him, a frown upon his face that seemed to mock him. He wasn't sure how it could do that, though.

"It is," Logan answered simply.

"Oh, really?" Patton tilted his head to the side. "Because I heard you decided to start up a new assignment of sorts."

Logan blinked. Patton seemed upset, but he wasn't sure why.

Sure, Logan had taken on researching new software and presenting the comparison results to Thomas, but it was of no concern to his allocated schedule and didn't take away from his other responsibilities.

He didn't understand why that would be upsetting. In what way could this be viewed negatively?

"I don't understand," Logan told him numbly. Was he… in trouble for something? Had he done something incorrectly and not realized it?

"Don't you?" Patton raised an eyebrow, challenging him.

So he had done something wrong.

Logan tried to think back, but he couldn't recall anything he had done recently that seemed to upset anyone. Was this really somehow about introducing Thomas to the new editing software? Why would anyone be upset about such a fruitful decision?

"I believe I may be failing to see the overall issue here, Patton," he remarked. If this was about the software, there was certainly no reason to behave like this. He could just tell Logan outright about his concerns.

Patton shook his head, still smiling in that uncomfortable way.

"That's the problem, Logan."

The room seemed colder then.

Logan tried again,

"If you would enlighten me as to what has upset you, we should be able to come to a solution. I'm sure once I understand your predicament, it'll be simple."

Reassurance often worked to cheer Patton up, after all. Perhaps this would help?

Patton laughed, but Logan hadn't made a joke. The sound reverberated a tiny bit through the room, and Patton looked him in the eye.

He wasn't smiling anymore.

"I don't need to do that for you, Logan. You're smart. Just think back and you'll figure it out."

"Then, what's the resolution here?" Logan asked, trying not to sound desperate. "What are you asking of me?"

The answer was not something he ever thought he'd hear.

"I think Thomas needs a little break from his logic for a while."

Logan had never experienced such hollowness as the kind that abruptly formed in his chest at those words.

"Wh--" he swallowed, his mouth absolutely dry. "What do you mean?"

Patton's smile returned then.

"I mean, you've been working so hard, and Thomas has, too!" He grasped his hands together in front of him. "It's about time you both had a break. I'm thinking maybe just a week or two, you know?"

Logan didn't know. He didn't understand. Thomas couldn't survive without logic, so what was Patton even suggesting?

And it wasn't like the work Logan was doing was in any way taxing or deserving of a break, especially considering how few tasks he even had left to do these days. He had been satisfied with just the chance to research something for once, and without anyone else's input.

So what was Patton even saying here? Did he not like Logan's decision?

It wasn't like he could control what Logan did or didn't do!

"I can make my own decisions, Patton," he chose to say. He tried to stay as calm as possible so Patton could tell he was serious.

Patton smiled at him again, sickeningly sweet.

"Yes, but you're not the only one making decisions, right?"

Ah. So Patton was upset because Logan hadn't consulted him and the others.

Logan tried not to sigh in disappointment. He'd been doing all the preparation for this suggestion so it would be easier on everyone and not turn into a pointless debate. It was meant to benefit everyone.

But, of course, Patton has to find some way to make it negative instead.

"I suppose I could have done some more consulting, yes," he conceded, folding his arms across his chest.

"We all make mistakes," Patton nodded, like they had only just gotten on the same page.

"That's why I want to ask you to take a break voluntarily. For your sake and for Thomas'!"

Logan blinked.

So it was Thomas who needed the break? But why hadn't Patton just said that, and why hadn't Thomas said anything?

Before he could even ask, Patton added,

"Look, I know Thomas doesn't trust you enough to tell you this kind of stuff, that's why he had me ask you instead. He needs a little vacation from his logic for a bit, okay?"

Logan grimaced. None of this made sense. Thomas had been so enthusiastic when he agreed to his plan for the new software. Patton had been the only one to say anything negative about it at all.

Had he completely misread everything? Had Thomas been placating him and he hadn't noticed?

Patton was always more in-tune with that sort of thing, so perhaps he was right about this.

"Are... you sure he doesn't want me around right now?" Logan had to ask, he had to know.

Patton's expression didn't change.

"You can still do your usual stuff from your room, right? Just do that for this week, and then we'll see where we're at, okay?"

Logan noted that he hadn't answered his question, but his suggestion implied what must have been the truth. Patton was known for trying to gloss over the negative side of things, after all. Maybe he was just trying to help…

Logan sighed.

He didn't want to agree but he didn't want to argue, either. If Thomas really didn't want his help, he should give him some space and find a more subtle way to offer his assistance.

"Okay."

Patton smiled.

"Perfect! Thank you so much," he told him, heading towards the door. "I'll take care of the rest and don't worry, I already switched the schedule back to normal."

Oh. Logan frowned. So all that effort has been for nothing, then.

Patton gave a little wave and exited, leaving Logan standing uncomfortably in the middle of his room.

He had put so much thought into that decision. Where had he gone so wrong?

And why hadn't Thomas just said what he felt? And why hadn't Patton, either?

He really needed to get better at this whole socializing thing.

He glanced around at the empty room. Well, at least he'd have the time for it.

#logan angst #logan sanders #fanfiction #unsympathetic patton #i swear i dont hate patton but i wrote this almost two years ago and just never posted it #patton isnt actually like this obviously but if you dont mind him doing some gaslighting then please enjoy #sanders sides

[briardatura]

Orange Side

Alright guys, listen. Hot take. I don't know how many of you are going to like this, but it needs to be said.

The Seventh Side/Orange Side Will Not Be Rage.

Now listen for just a minute while I explain. You'll remember during Moving On, Thomas and Patton both establish that Patton is at the core of a lot of Thomas' feelings. This includes not only joy and excitement, but grief and sadness. Rage isn't a part of him, you don't have an angry part of you when you list the parts of you that make you you. And before anyone says Virgil, Thomas' anxiety being a side is a result of him having an anxiety disorder. It's not just an emotion like it is for most people, it affects his day to day. On top of that, Thomas isn't an angry person... at all. He's giddy and cheerful all the time, and if he's not it's sad or anxious. It would take a LOT to piss him off to the point it could be called Rage. He might get frustrated at something, but Rage and Fury have far more fire to them than the sparks of "Why won't this damn coffee machine work?" It wouldn't make any goddamned sense if the seventh side he keeps teasing (that we've predicted) ends up being an emotion, especially because it's really hard to make a full episode dealing with just anger that Thomas doesn't even really have.

Now for the Hot Take I mentioned before. All I've said is it won't be Rage, but most people won't accept that without another alternative to fall back on (though in my opinion we should just let Thomas do his damn thing with it, we can trust him to do that much) so I present to you, these tweets;

Now THAT is episode-worthy. THAT is a part of Thomas worth looking into. An ADHD side would get everyone involved one way or another, it'd clear up things within Thomas and the other sides that they don't really get about themselves. As someone with ADHD myself, it would make a LOT of sense to have this be an episode and would also touch on a lot of things most people REALLY need to be told about ADHD.

I can already hear the arguments about what happened in the most recent Asides video with Logan but hear me out. One of the parts of ADHD that I personally despise is RSD, Rejection Sensitivity Disorder. Not all ADHD'ers have it, but a good amount do. Basically we have a worse fear of rejection and failure than most people do. We need everyone to like us so much it's exhausting. If you're not paying attention to us, we're going to immediately think you hate us or don't like us, and if it's for too long we think we've been forgotten completely. Now, since ADHD is a MASSIVE impact on your daily life and thinking, it would make sense that Logan took a good toll from this. The RSD would have hit him like a TRUCK while Remus was ignoring him and making fun of him, and he'd be pissed off. It would also give a good reason for Logan to act the way he did in SVS Redux, appearing in a "less invasive" form so the Pure of Heart and Dumb of Ass wouldn't hate on him the way he thinks they are. Also, this leaves a good reason for the fans to grasp at for Logan angst content, and you can rarely argue with angst.

As for the color, I present to you the ADHD flag. Doesn't get a whole lot more orange than that folks.

I could go on, clearly, but just think about how much sense this makes you guys. And if you disagree, don't come crawling back to me if I end up being right. But anyways, there's my two cents, take it easy y'all

#sanders sides #orange side #thomas sanders #ts sanders sides #logan sanders #ts logan #ts virgil #virgil sanders #sanders sides virgil #sanders sides logan #sanders sides theory #orange side theory

[bailey-orphic08]

The Voice of Reason ~ Part Two (And the Final Part)

Synopsis: Logan is getting more and more frustrated about being ignored. But fortunately, a certain rat affiliated Duke knows how to help. ;)

As you can tell from the title, this is the second part. Go read the first part so you can understand what's going on!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Wha- But that doesn't make any sense," Logan chuckled in disbelief, "that was what I was telling them to do, and they didn't listen to me. Why would they ignore my suggestions only to come to the same conclusion later on?"

"I don't know..." Remus said with too much innocence, "Have you ever considered that you're not relevant anymore?"

And as quick as Remus said that, Logan's attempt to keep his composure collapsed.

"Get out of my room!" Logan threw a book at Remus, hitting him in the face.

"Why do you even bother telling me these things?" Logan snapped, "Do you find that much pleasure in making my day worse? Everyday I get up and I work as hard as I possibly can to ensure that Thomas--and by association, all of us--can live a happy, healthy lifestyle! You think it's 'fun' to laugh at that effort? You have no idea how much work that is! I make plan after plan and schedule after schedule. I keep the other sides from making reckless mistakes. I keep Thomas from making reckless mistakes. Everyday I put in so much effort! And on top of all that, most of these efforts aren't wanted by them. They don't care about my efforts!.. They ignore my efforts... They- they-"

Logan stopped rambling, realizing how irrational he was acting. He also saw that he wasn't proving anything to Remus anyways, for all his actions did was send Remus into a maniacal fit laughter. Along with that, he began to notice a cold and strange tingling sensation run down his face. He lifted his hand to his cheek to feel what it was... Logan was crying.

How could this be possible? Logan didn't cry. Logan couldn't cry. Crying was a response to pain. Logan wasn't in pain, he was physically fine. That could only mean the pain is emotional. But that was impossible. Logan didn't have emotions. Logan was logic. And logic can't feel emotions. Logic is reasonable. But before he could ask himself anymore questions, he began speak out to Remus, his words spilling out before he could process what he was even saying.

"Oh no," he wept, "oh no, Remus you're right. I'm not relevant anymore! I was never the most exciting side, or the nicest, or the most pleasant, but they were able to deal with me. They dealt with me because I was important. I was able to make decisions they couldn't. I was the voice of reason. And so I was one of them. But things are changing, Remus. The questions Thomas has, the choices he has to make, they aren't rooted in logic anymore. I can't answer them. And now that I can't there's no purpose in the others dealing with me--I'm not the voice of reason anymore. I thought if I tried to be kinder they would still at least want me, but it seems that I'm not nice enough to hide that I'm essentially useless now..."

At this point Remus had stopped cackling and just stood there in silence, completely stunned and unsure of what to do. He knew when he arrived that he would upset Logan--that was his goal--but he had no idea that Logan would start crying over it.

"They're going to replace me Remus, I'm going to be replaced!" Logan continued, still sobbing, "They're already replacing me! Janus is taking my place! He's so clever, so well put together, but most of all, he's reasonable! He understands the questions Thomas has now. He can answer his questions. Thomas and Patton have already started to warm up to him, it's only matter of time before they all accept him. And then he will be the voice of reason! And all I will be able to offer is exposition... He'll do a better job anyways, he actually knows what he's doing! I make so many mistakes--I can't even think rationally enough to not cry!"

His sobs grew louder and louder as he lost the ability to speak. Remus was still standing there, now even more unsure of what to do. Should he tell someone? Surely at least one of them cared about him enough to comfort him, and he definitely wasn't qualified to do it himself... Wait--why did he care? He didn't like Logan. He didn't like him at all! Logan was an arrogant know-it-all, and he always got in the way of his plans. He came here because he wanted Logan to get upset! So should he go? He got what he wanted, so there was no point in staying... No... Remus had no reason to care, but for some reason--for some strange reason--he couldn't help but feel extreme pity seeing the man who showed nothing but indifference and agitation towards his antics act so depressingly pathetic.

"Hey don't cry," Remus whispered as comfortingly as he knew how, "there's nothing wrong with being a little useless. People love useless characters!"

That had the opposite effect. Logan began crying even more violently.

"Well there's no point in crying about it if you know it's inevitable!" Remus blurted out, "Either accept your new purpose in life or find a way to keep the one you had!" Then Remus got an sudden idea. An idea with no flaws in his eyes. The only thing that could go wrong was if Logan refused.

"Hey, hey, stop crying," he whispered again, though with more energy, "I know how you can become the voice of reason again."

That caught Logan's attention.

Remus would help him keep his place? How? And why? Logan thought to himself for a moment. There was a remarkably low chance Remus' plan would actually work, and an even lower chance he had good intentions... But at this point, any solution was worth hearing out. He tried to cease his sobs.

"Well, if you really have a possible solution," Logan sniveled, "then tell me how I can maintain my position as the voice of reason." Remus grinned eagerly.

"You know how you earlier you said they kept you around despite not being nice or exciting?"

"Yes?..."

"And you know how you tried to be nice when you stopped knowing all the answers?"

"Of course, how couldn't I?"

"And you know how that failed?"

"Where are you going with this?"

"Well you said you weren't nice or exciting. You tried to be nice, and that didn't work. So have you considered being more exciting?"

Logan was perplexed. He didn't really think of that. The others were always agitated when he spoke up, so he decided to speak less. But what if he spoke more?

"See, your problem is that you don't stand out enough," Remus explained, "The other sides have such extreme opinions that yours get kicked to the curb. If you want them to listen, you've gotta be as drastic as they are."

"And how exactly do I do that?"

"Well, the other sides do several extreme things. And you're a pansy, so I know you won't do that. So instead of doing several small things, you should one great thing..." Remus' grin grew larger and more mischievous.

"You have reasoned with me long enough, just tell me what to do!"

Knock. Knock.

Out of completely nowhere, the two of them suddenly heard knocking at Logan's door. After a ominously long moment of silence, his door began to slowly creak open. An orange mist started to fill the room. Logan's eyes stayed fixated on the door, contemplating what could possibly be happening right now. Remus' smile grew wider; he knew what was to come. When the door was completely opened, the haze started to fade, revealing who it was at the door.

"Hey, I heard that you're 'friends' have a problem with ignoring you," he said, "I can help with that..."

#tss #thomas sanders #sanders sides #logan sanders #logan sanders angst #ts logan #ts angst #remus sanders

[touyubesposts]

Ghosts aren’t Real (Part 1/?)

Hey, this is my first Storytime Big Bang (@tss-storytime) submission! It was very fun, even thought here were a couple of road blocks (Mostly my fault. 😅) I was partnered with @pizza-box-raccoon, who has some amazing art! (Some of the best IMO.) Their art is here, go check it out! There's nothing too serious in this chapter (or in the next one (I think)) but look at the tags and keep them in mind just in case ❤️

Summary: After a ‘Ghost’ knocks over something in his kitchen while he was coming up with video ideas with friends, Quill and Davi come up with the idea to go ghost hunting in his house. Virgil is scared that they’ll somehow get detected, but Logan is less convinced. Because Ghosts aren’t real… Right?

Rating: PG?

Word Count: 2135 (A short read :))

Ships: None, everything is purely platonic

CW: Mentions of death, Negative thinking, Remus being Remus, if I miss anything let me know 👍

(Fanfic under cut)

(Thomas's P.O.V)

"- So yeah, that could be a fun video idea," Davi finishes up his statement, taking a bite of Chinese food.

Quil chimes in, "Yeah, I could see that, but we don't have a pool."

"There are public pools."

We were talking on the couch about video ideas and things the others wanted to do, trying to come up with ideas while also talking a bit about how we were doing. Patton was watching over us in the kitchen fondly, smiling at every idea and laughing at every joke, even if they weren't particularly good. Patton adjusts himself, accidentally knocking a spoon onto the floor, causing Quil and Davi to look in his direction.

"Thomas, your ghosts are hungry," Davi jokes.

My sides come around and check on me often. It's not surprising at this point and there is nothing I can really do about it anyway. However, they can be clumsy at times as well, accidentally knocking things over and bumping into furniture or walls. No problem, they usually pick whatever they knocked over up and go on their way. The problem is when people are over and they do it. At first, it freaked out my friends and made me self-conscious about it. But over time it became a light-hearted joke, so now whenever something gets knocked over or there's an 'unexplainable thump,' they say it's 'my ghosts' messing around.

"Well, they'll have to stay hungry," I smile, "I have no idea how to feed them."

"That rude, Thomas," Quil joins in, "You should always feed your guests."

I glance at Patton for a split second, "More like unruly roommates. They're lucky, they don't even pay rent."

"Technically we do, but-" Patton goes on to say before being cut off by Quil.

"Damn, must be a hard afterlife. Knock over a random guy's stuff and he doesn't even make you food."

"Would you?”

"... Depends."

Davi asks, "Hey, Thomas? Random question, but were you scared when you first moved into this house?"

I glance at Patton for help, but he just shrugs wildly at me. "Umm... No, not really. I mean, I guess it was scary at first, but after a while, you just tune out the noise."

"Yeah, that makes sense. Do you think it's actually a ghost or a demon or what?"

Oh boy, if only you knew. "Well... No, I don't think it's a ghost or a demon. I'm sure there's a solid, logical reason that all of this is happening but we just aren't seeing it. But the way I think of it is... If it was going to hurt me or wanted to hurt me, it would've done so by now, you know?"

Davi nods, "Yeah, I get it." I play off a breath of relief as just a sigh. I was making stuff up. I know for a fact it isn't a ghost, it's me. And it's not an it! It's a he! Sometimes a 'they,' but in, like, a plural way.

"Hey, I have an idea!" Quil smiles excitedly. "Let's do a ghost-hunting video!"

I feel my heart drop to my stomach as I realize what that implies. "... A ghost-hunting video?"

"Yeah! I have some equipment I could bring over, try some stuff I saw on TikTok a while ago, it could be fun! I mean, we most likely won't catch anything, but it could still make a cool video if we crack jokes and just have fun with it, you know?"

I nod along, feeling like roots and vines wrapped around my chest and squeezed tightly. "Yeah, totally!"

"Oh my god, I love watching those ghost-hunting videos!" Davi excitedly grabs Quil's arm, "Have you seen the ones that Ryan and Shane do?"

"Are you talking about their newer ones or their older ones?"

Davi and Quil continue talking about Ghostfiles and Buzzfeed unsolved while I give Patton a concerned glance. He holds onto his cardigan nervously, refusing to make eye contact with me. Finally, he sinks down guiltily. I feel bad for Patton. He didn't mean to, it was an accident. But now I may have to face a reality I don't want to face, that being 'confronting the idea that my sides are more than my sides.'

"So when do you wanna do it?" Quil turns to me and asks, catching me off guard.

Oh god, how do I answer this? Is there a good answer to this? "Umm, I don't know-"

"The soonest I'm free is a week from now," Davi chimes in, "Is that okay with you?"

"Yeah, I should be free then," Quil turns towards me, "Thomas?"

"... Yeah, that works great!" I force a smile, trying my hardest to not let them suspect anything.

"Sweet! Hey, I gotta go, but I'll text you guys about it. It will be fun!"

"Great!" Davi grabs his bag, "I'd stay longer, but Quil's my ride. I'll see you soon, alright?"

"Yeah, of course!" I walk Quil and Davi out the door, waving them off. I take deep breaths as I close the door as sit back down on my couch in defeat. After a couple of minutes of agonizing silence, Virgil pops up by the stairs. Great.

I sigh, forcing a smile, "Hey, Virgil."

"Cut it," Virgil ordered, not buying my happy exterior. I immediately drop my smile after I hear him speak. "You were hanging out with Quil and Davi and now you're anxious... Why?"

Without another word, I summon Patton. As soon as he appeared, he began rambling. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to! My hand just brushed against it and it fell and I didn't know it was there! I shouldn't have even been here, I should've ducked out when I could, I-"

"Patton!" Virgil shouts over him. Patton stops, waiting for Virgil to speak. "... Tell me what happened."

Patton takes a shakey inhale before speaking, "So, I... I knocked a spoon on the floor... in front of Quil and Davi-"

"Is that it?"

"No, that's... That's not the bad part. The bad part is... Now Davi and Quil want to ghost hunt here because of me."

"What?!" Virgil shouts, along with Roman and Logan who just arrived. While Roman and Virgil sounded genuinely concerned and panicked, Logan just sounded confused.

"I'm sorry!" Patton covered his face, part in embarrassment.

"Hold on," Logan interrupted, "Why are we panicking? Why is Quil and Davi 'ghost hunting' a bad thing?"

"Because what if they detect us?" Virgil speaks up.

Logan sighs, "They won't. We aren't ghosts, we are a part of Thomas. Also, ghosts aren't real."

Roman buts in, "Yes, I get that, but... Don't you at least find it a little strange that we can touch and throw things even though we are nothing more than Thomas's thoughts and feelings?"

Virgil leans in closer, "Interact with our surroundings... Like ghosts?"

Logan holds the bridge of his nose, "Gosh, both of you are being ridiculous. Yes, it is a little... Odd that we can touch things that exist. But for us to be ghosts, we'd have to be real or human, in some sense. And as far as I'm concerned, we don't even exist outside of Thomas."

At this time, Remus and Janus have both appeared in the kitchen, listening in on our conversations. Virgil pipes up once more, "You say that, but obviously, we have to exist somewhat. We can literally interact with our environment! Meaning we are as real as the things we knock over. Also meaning, we could be ghosts."

"... Virgil, we would have to have died to be ghosts, meaning we existed before Thomas. And that just doesn't seem likely, considering we are Thomas."

"But how do we know that?!"

"Because we are Thomas! Literally! If it looks like Thomas and sounds like Thomas, it's probably Thomas."

"No, I mean how do we know that we didn't exist before Thomas?!"

"We didn't exist before Thomas, there's... There's no way we could've... Ghosts are dead, Virgil. For us to have died, we would have to have lived. And the only one here that has ever lived is Thomas."

"Maybe we did live and we don't remember it! Isn't that the cliche? That the ghost has to remember how they died to pass on? If that's the case, then it makes sense why we don't remember dying or living."

"God, Virgil, you are infuriating right now." Logan turns towards everyone else in a slow turn, looking for support, "I'm not the crazy one here, right? I'm being reasonable? Patton, Janus, anyone?!"

Janus tilts their head slightly, lost in thought, before speaking. "You know... I would try and lie about this, but I... I actually don't know the answer."

"What?" Logan says exasperatedly.

"I mean... I could give an answer, but I wouldn't be lying... I'd just be wrong, maybe."

Logan whips around towards Virgil again, "Okay, then how do you explain all of us looking like Thomas if we are separated beings from Thomas?"

"I don't know, maybe that's the only way Thomas can see us."

"So... What, you think Thomas is a medium? And what about what we represent? We know what we represent, that has to have some meaning for you, right?"

"Guys, let's calm down and take a breath, alright?" Patton tries to de-escalate, moving his hands as he speaks. "I mean, will know the answer when it happens, right?"

"Yes, but-" Logan interrupts himself. He takes a deep breath, before facing Virgil once more, "... But I want to try and ease everyone's mind before then."

Virgil sighs, "I know, I just... I'm scared to be... 'Found out', you know? I mean, as much as we pretend that all of this is normal, we all know it isn't. We know Joan or Kenny or Davi and Quil don't have their own 'sides' that they talk to daily. And I don't know how much longer we can lie to them about this."

"Virgil-"

"And what if they react badly? What if they think all of this is weird or strange, too weird for them to stick around? Or what if they think Thomas is haunted by ghosts and they freak out and run off? And what if they tell Thomas's other friends and they do the same? What then?"

The entire room has gone silent. This wasn't a new train of thought for me, being scared that my friends were going to leave, but hearing it out loud in this context made my stomach flip. Finding out about the sides really would freak them out too much, wouldn't it?

Logan places his hands on Virgil's shoulders softly, with a neutral but sympathetic look. "Everything will be fine. I promise... They may think it's weird, but it should take more than this to drive them away. "

"... And if it does drive them away?"

"Then they weren't real friends anyway. Plus," Logan removes his hands and dusts himself off, "I don't see why they should be scared. We're the ones who live with it."

"Yeah!" Roman cheers, "If they don't like it, they can suck it! We deal with us every day, and that just makes us stronger than them."

"And it's not like they have anything to fear," Patton adds on, sitting on the arm of the couch, "We aren't violent or evil or anything."

"Speak for yourself," Remus cracks his neck, the pops sending shivers down my spine.

Patton winces, "Well... Well, we've never hurt anyone."

"On purpose."

"Or severely."

"Or physically," Logan explains, "We can't touch them. We can touch things, Like spoons or counters, but not people. So even if Remus wanted to put his hands on them, he couldn't."

"If I could physically hurt people, I would've done so already. That's why you gotta... put them to sleep for me, Sanders-man."

I shoot Remus a look, "Okay, that first sentence did freak me out a bit, but... Sanders-man?"

"Like sandman. Not my best work, I admit. I'll workshop it."

Janus clears his throat to get everyone's attention, "So we're lying about this, right? If they suspect anything just deny?"

Virgil takes a harsh breath in, taking a seat on the stairs, "... As much as I hate you and that idea... It's the only one that can keep Thomas safe."

"Aw, Virgil doesn't want to admit I'm useful~"

Logan takes control of the conversation once more. "Reminder: this is all dependant on if their ghost equipment even detects us. And there's a very good chance it doesn't.

Maybe... Maybe attempting to rationalize with fear was the wrong move. Because, and don't take this the wrong way Virgil, but fear can be... A bit irrational. Why don't we try and find different ways to cope until then? Any ideas?"

To be continued…

#thomas sanders #sander sides #sanders sides #roman sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #janus sanders #remus sanders #Thomas Sanders storytime

[groovyghostie]

The Seer: Part 2

Part 1

Art by @creative-lampd-liberties

AO3

12: The Killers

It was as the group was setting up to sleep that Janus froze. He was in the woods, watching himself and the others get ready to bed down for the night. He felt a bow in his hands.

He snapped back to reality, then shushed everyone quickly. All chatter stopped. Janus looked at Roman and nodded towards the spot where he was sure he had just been, that someone was watching them from.

Virgil heard something from the opposite direction. “There’s more,” he hissed.

Then they all heard a twig snap in another direction. Virgil put up a barrier around them just as an arrow flew out of the woods. It bounced off the barrier and hit the ground.

Thomas narrowed his eyes, peering at the woods around the clearing for hiding spots that may be in use. He didn’t need to, though, because people began emerging from the woods all around them.

There were about fifteen of them in total. Some carried bows, some wicked-looking knives, and some swords. There was a crossbow and a whip somewhere in that mix, too.

A man stepped forward. He wielded a staff from which Janus could feel power emanating. He raised the staff and fired off a blast toward the shimmering purple barrier.

When it hit, Virgil grunted and grit his teeth.

Patton and Logan both looked at him in concern.

Thomas gripped the hilt of his sword, while Remy reached for his dagger.

Roman unsheathed his shortsword quickly and instinctively moved toward the man with the staff, while Remus eyed another man, shorter than the others and smug-looking. He held no weapon, and instead his arms were crossed over his chest as he leaned against a tree. There were several weapons hanging from his belt, though.

A moment of stillness passed before the man with the staff blasted more power at Virgil’s barrier, a sustained arc of blue lightning. Virgil gasped and staggered, and Logan rushed to support him, holding on to him tightly. After wavering for a moment, Virgil’s barrier glowed brighter. Then the staff-wielder increased the power of his attack, and the barrier sputtered out.

It took less than a second for the clearing to erupt into chaos, weapons being drawn and fights being initiated. Blades clashed, and arrows flew.

Roman cried out, and Janus turned to see him clutching his shoulder, then found himself pinned to the ground with a knife to his throat. He glared at the woman leaning over him, and she sneered back.

The next thing Janus knew, the bandit was gone, and he looked over to see Roman wrestling her on the forest floor. The bandit that had injured Roman’s shoulder was coming for them quickly, so Janus stuck his foot out to trip them. They fell hard and hit their head on a rock. Janus’s attention returned to Roman and the other bandit just in time to see Roman punching her in the face over and over. Roman’s sword and the bandit’s knife were on the ground nearby.

Janus sat up, grabbed his cane, and snatched the knife before scrambling to his feet. He looked around. Thomas was holding his own, as were Remus, Remy, and Logan. Virgil was practically pinned between Remy and Logan, though he had a hand on the hilt of his rapier and was firing off spells. Logan appeared to be chastising him. Then Janus spotted Patton.

Patton was fighting his hardest with the large knife that Remus and Roman had made sure he had, but he was being forced further and further back toward the treeline by three bandits. Janus loped toward them, too filled with adrenaline to let his limp slow him down more than a little. He stumbled, but righted himself quickly and stayed up.

He jammed the knife into one bandit’s back and pulled it out quickly.

The bandit fell.

Patton and Janus met eyes over the bandit’s body.

Something sharp was suddenly at Janus’s collarbone, which had been uncovered in the fight by his clothes becoming ruffled. A body pressed against his back. “I ought to kill you for that,” a rough but high voice said. Janus inhaled shallowly and let it out slowly.

Patton took an instinctive step forward, but stopped when the sword against Janus’s chest pressed harder and Janus winced. A drop of blood ran down the inch between the sword and the collar of Janus’s shirt, staining the fabric there a darker black. Janus stared at Patton with wide eyes.

The person moved away and removed the sword before kicking Janus in the back of his bad leg, causing him to fall to the ground. “Stay down,” the rough voice said.

The two remaining bandits near them cornered Patton and forced him to his knees next to where Janus was on his hands and knees. Janus stared at the ground underneath him, breathing heavily.

When he heard Thomas yell angrily, Janus finally looked up, only to be kicked in the side by one of the two bandits. He looked up from where he now lay on his side, and found that the others had been cornered and disarmed, weapons on all sides of them. The staff-wielder held Virgil tightly, and the man with many, many weapons hanging from his belt stood looking at him.

“How fortunate,” said the rough voice. “We’ve hit it rich, friends! Do you know who this is?”

There was silence.

The man reached out. “Hello, little prince. What are you doing all the way out here?” He touched Virgil’s cheek. Virgil spat at him.

The man wiped the spit from his cheek, unnervingly calm, then struck Virgil across the face, fast as lightning. Virgil’s head snapped to the side, and he breathed heavily. He spat blood onto the ground.

“Leave him alone!” Logan cried.

The man sneered at him. “How cute,” he said dryly. “Someone has a little schoolboy crush. Oh, well. Everyone except our prize here will have to die anyway.”

“Don’t,” Virgil said softly, just enough for Janus to make it out.

“Oh, don’t make so much of it. I won’t kill them yet. They could still prove useful,” the man said. He made a gesture.

Janus felt a sharp pain on the side of his head, then everything was black.

-

Janus blinked himself awake, his head pounding and his vision swimming.

“Jan?” he heard. “Janus, are you okay?”

Was that… Roman? “Yes?” Janus said. What he heard come out was, “Nnh?”

“Is he awake?” Patton asked, sounding very worried.

“’M awake,” Janus answered, with a fair bit of effort.

Patton breathed a sigh of relief. Janus thought Roman did too, but probably not.

Janus forced his eyes open the rest of the way. They were all tied up, all seven of them. Seven? He counted again, then his eyes widened. They were missing Virgil.

They all had their hands tied behind their backs, but not to anything. They were in a tent. Logan’s head was hanging. Thomas had his eyes closed. Meditating, maybe? Remy glared forward. Patton looked at Janus worriedly. There were two other people in the tent, facing them. The staff wielder and the woman Roman had punched. A lot. Her eye was black, her lip was split, and she was glaring at Roman. Roman was ignoring her, looking at Remus instead. Remus raised an eyebrow. Roman nodded slightly.

Remus and Roman hopped to their feet without need of their hands. Janus watched, stunned, as they barreled toward the staff-wielder and the other bandit. The staff-wielder managed to put out a hand, and Remus bounced off a wall of force. Meanwhile, Roman ran full force into them both. He managed to catch them both off-guard, and he knocked them back.

“Emile, now,” Thomas said.

The ropes around everyone’s wrists loosened at once. Janus pushed himself up, only to be caught by Remy when his leg gave out, his cane nowhere to be found. Patton sprang up to support him at his other side.

Roman and Remus both came down hard on the bandit woman, wrestling away her knife and forcing her down, and Thomas rushed to incapacitate the mage, grabbing his sword from behind the woman and the staff-wielder, then hitting him over the head with the hilt of his sword. He swiftly did the same to the woman.

“Let’s go,” Logan said, and they all looked to him. He held the mallet that was intended for hammering down stakes to attach the tent to the ground.

Janus shrugged off Patton and Remy, and Roman shot him a concerned look.

They all grabbed their weapons, Janus both his knife and cane, and they went to one side of the tent, where Logan peeked through a gap in the tent canvas.

Roman placed a hand on Janus’s arm, and Janus gave him a confused stare.

Roman looked into his eyes, and Janus felt his face warm up. He prayed it didn’t show.

Roman nodded slightly. “You’re still dizzy, right? I hope you’re not hurt too bad.”

Janus frowned. “I’m fine.”

“Nope,” Roman said. “You’re staying close to me.”

“You don’t need to protect me,” Janus insisted.

“Just let me help,” Roman hissed.

“I’m not helpless!” Janus hissed back.

Logan shushed them. “The path is clear for now. Knock out any bandits you come across, so that they don’t alert the others. Find Virgil. Let’s do it.” He walked out of the tent sneakily. The rest of them followed.

Janus carried his cane, so as not to make any more noise than necessary.

Despite his annoyance, or even anger, at Roman, he did stay close to him. Roman checked often. Remy and Patton shared a look after Remy gestured his head questioningly at them. Patton shrugged.

One after the other, they clubbed bandits over the head. Mostly Logan, Remus, and Roman.

Finally, one let out a yell. Logan swore, at which Remy and Patton both looked especially surprised.

They all fought harder, more ferociously, as one bandit came after the other. Janus wasn’t sure how many were just unconscious and how many were dead. He thought of the bandit he’d stabbed before, in the clearing. He hadn’t seen him again.

Finally, it seemed like things had died down. “We have to find Virgil,” Logan said, pushing onward despite how exhausted he seemed. Janus noticed blood dripping down his leg from a gash in his pants.

“Logan,” Patton tried.

“I’ll rest when we find him,” Logan snapped.

“Looking for something?” asked a rough voice that Janus had definitely heard before. The group whipped around to find the apparent leader of the bandits holding Virgil tightly, a knife pressed to his throat hard enough for a droplet of blood to run down to his collar. The bandit was sneering at them, rage written all over his face. “I should’ve killed you lot when I had the chance.”

Virgil’s eyes were wide and fearful, and his face was bruised in a couple places. Logan glared back at the bandit with just as much anger, if not more.

“You probably should have, yeah,” Remus said. Patton shushed him.

Janus froze for a moment. For that moment, he thought he saw a snake climbing up the man’s leg.

The man held Virgil even tighter, and Virgil visibly held himself back from flinching.

“Leave, and he lives,” the man threatened.

“Just let him go,” Logan said, trying to compose himself. “We’ll be on our way when we have him back.”

The man pulled Virgil a step back. Janus watched with wide eyes as a rope snaked its way up the man’s leg, then up his side.

Logan appeared to have seen it too. “Don’t hurt him,” he begged. “Please…”

“I will if you don-”

The man was cut off as the rope tightened around his neck. It glowed purple, as did Virgil’s eyes. In his desperate struggle to regain air, the man let go of Virgil, who fell to his knees on the rough dirt. The glow of his eyes painted the dirt purple.

Logan rushed to Virgil, scooping him up to pull him away from the man who’d threatened his life. “It’s okay,” he soothed.

Virgil’s eyes still glowed. The rope tightened and tightened around the man’s neck until he stopped moving and his face was just as purple as the glowing rope. The glow abruptly vanished, and Virgil gasped for air.

Patton knelt next to Logan and Virgil, blocking Virgil’s view of the man. “Hey, Virge, it’s okay,” he murmured as Virgil attempted to calm his breathing. Logan pulled Virgil’s hand to his chest and took a deep breath for Virgil to imitate.

When Virgil was somewhat recovered, Logan having pressed many soft kisses to his scalp, and the group was less stunned, Roman spoke. “We need to get moving before anyone comes to. Can all of you walk okay?”

Logan went to stand, supporting Virgil, but he faltered when his leg oozed more blood, the gash having reopened. Thomas gently helped both Logan and Virgil stand, then scooped up Virgil, much to Logan’s chagrin. Roman offered Logan his arm, and Logan reluctantly took it.

“Let’s get somewhere safe, then regroup,” Roman said.

“Lemme heal you guys,” Virgil protested.

“No,” Logan answered immediately. “You’re tired. Rest first.”

They searched for the rest of their belongings, then once they had retrieved them, they left, in the direction Roman had determined the mountains were.

Janus was at the front with Roman, Logan, Thomas, and Virgil for a minute, then he fell back to talk to Remus and Patton. “Pat, are you okay?”

Patton nodded. “Yeah. They didn’t really hurt me that much, just twisted my arm and bruised my knees.” He smiled tiredly. “Are you alright?”

Janus nodded back. “And you, Re?”

Remus hummed. “I was hoping for a little more blood and gore, actually.”

Janus and Patton each made a face. “Gross,” Janus said.

In front of them, Remy nudged Thomas. “Are you alright?”

Thomas nodded. “I’ll be fine.”

“Are you hurt?” Remy rephrased.

Thomas glanced down at Virgil to make sure he was sleeping, as he’d drifted off shortly after they’d begun to walk. He lifted one arm, careful not to jostle Virgil. There was a gash in his side that he’d already secured clean cloth around, but he was bleeding through the dressing.

Remy’s eyes widened. “We need to take care of that,” he hissed.

“We need to get to safety first,” Thomas responded.

“You’re losing blood,” Remy insisted.

“What’s going on?” Logan asked.

“You and Thomas need medical attention, that’s what,” Remy snapped.

“We can stop soon,” Roman butted in. “Just a bit longer.”

Remy quieted, but his expression showed his dissatisfaction. He knew when to back down, though.

It was only as they began to stop and regroup that Janus let his leg go out. He knew he wouldn’t be able to lower himself carefully, so he fell back against a tree instead. Roman, having just gotten Logan situated next to Virgil, stepped over and gently pulled him back upright. Instead of the disdain Janus expected to see on his face, there was only concern.

“You’ve overworked yourself,” Roman said softly and helped Janus to sit before sitting next to him.

“Not like I had much of a choice,” Janus huffed.

Patton sat down on Janus’s other side, with Remus next to him.

“Maybe you and some of the others should go home,” Roman said, tone gentle and careful.

Janus’s face hardened. “I have to see this through,” he said. “The vision—I need to be by your side.”

Roman nodded grimly. “Alright. Just… please be careful.”

Janus paused. “I’m trying,” he finally responded.

Remus and Patton shared a knowing look.

13: The Father

Janus awoke to the sound of someone emptying the contents of their stomach. The pre-dawn light barely illuminated his surroundings. Roman and Remus were already sitting up, as was Remy, and the rest were slowly waking. He looked around to find out who was missing. “Patton,” he said finally. He and Remus met eyes, then jumped up to find Patton as quickly as possible.

They found him leaning heavily against a tree, wiping his mouth. He was sweaty and disheveled, but he smiled as much as he could when he saw them. There was something frightened in his eyes, though.

“What happened?” Remus asked, pulling Patton to him protectively.

Patton waved a hand. “I’m fine, must have just eaten something bad.”

Janus frowned. “We’ve all been eating the same things…”

Patton hummed. “My stomach is just being sensitive….”

Remus furrowed his brow. “If you’re ill…”

“I’m not,” Patton said.

“Are you sure?” Janus asked.

“Yes,” Patton insisted.

“How do you know?” Remus pressed.

“Because I’m pregnant!” Patton put both his hands over his mouth, his eyes wide. He had definitely said that loudly enough for all the others to hear.

Remus stared at Patton like he’d suddenly sprouted a new head out of each shoulder.

“Pat, that’s-” Janus began to say. Then Remus bolted, off back toward the spot where they’d slept. Janus and Patton stood there for a moment, stunned, then Patton burst into tears. Janus hugged him and began to guide them back towards camp.

When they arrived, Virgil held out his arms to Patton, and Patton practically fell into them, sobbing.

Roman grabbed Janus’s hand and began to pull him along. “We have to go get my brother,” Roman informed him.

Janus inhaled sharply. “I’d say to give him space, but time is of the essence…”

They followed the obvious path Remus had left, broken twigs and footprints in the dirt. Finally, Roman spotted him.

Remus was crouched with his back against a tree, hands clutching the sides of his head as he stared off into space.

Janus moved forward and lowered himself to the ground in front of him. “Talk to me, monster,” he said gently. “Tell me what’s going on.”

“I can’t be a father…” Remus ground out through clenched teeth.

“Oh, sure you can,” Janus said. “You’re a half-decent husband, why not a dad?”

“You don’t understand!” Remus snapped.

Janus glanced at Roman.

Roman chewed on his bottom lip for a moment, then plopped down next to Remus. “Look, Re. I’ve known you our whole lives, yeah?”

Remus was silent.

Roman pressed on, “You may be… crass, rude, disturbing-”

Janus cleared his throat.

“Right, uh…” Roman flushed. “Despite all that, you’ve always stepped up for the people you care about. Why would this be any different?”

Remus sniffled. “I’m… afraid.”

Janus nodded. “I’m sure Patton is, too. But we’ll be there to help, right, Roman?”

“Right,” Roman agreed. “Me and Janus, and I’m sure the others, too, we won’t abandon you. You’re not alone.”

Remus swallowed heavily. “Is Patton okay?”

Janus and Roman shared a look.

“Well, we should probably check on him,” Roman said. He stood, then helped Janus and Remus to their feet.

Remus practically ran back to the campsite, Janus and Roman lagging behind him. When Janus and Roman arrived, Patton and Remus were clinging to each other tightly.

“I’m sorry,” Remus said, “I shouldn’t have run off… I was scared.”

“I’m scared, too,” Patton responded, sniffling softly.

“It’ll be okay,” Remus said. “Roman and Janus will be there. It’ll be okay.”

“Yeah,” Patton said. “It will be.”

-

Janus was really starting to get tired of walking. The mountains had been looming over them for hours, and they never seemed to be getting any closer.

Roman stopped. “There,” he pointed. A break in the trees. Rocky terrain. The group picked up their pace. Soon they were running, even Janus.

They breached the treeline, and there was the base of Pious Mountain. Janus froze again. There was a cave, about a quarter of the way around the mountain if they went right. He informed the others. He wanted to despair at the thought of more walking, but they were almost there.

After another hour, Roman spotted a cave. They began to run again, then Virgil cried out, “Stop!” Everyone froze.

Virgil crouched, picked up a rock about the size of his fist, straightened again, then threw the rock toward the cave. About four yards from the cave entrance, the rock fizzled away amid sparks of orange light. They all stared.

Janus saw Roman walk through the barrier, a gateway of orange light forming around him, then he blinked, and nothing had changed.

“Roman,” Janus said. When he had Roman’s attention, he asked, “Do you trust me?”

Roman frowned. “Why?”

“Because you need to just walk into the cave,” Janus answered.

Roman balked. “Are you trying to kill me?”

“Trust me, Roman, please. I had a vision.”

Roman hesitated. “Come with me, then.”

Janus took only a second to decide. “It’s worth a try.”

“What?!” Patton exclaimed. “What if you get hurt, or worse?!”

Janus looked at Patton, keeping his expression calm. “We have to try, for everyone’s sake.”

Patton wilted at that. “Be careful,” he said softly.

Janus gave him his most reassuring smile. “We’ll be back before you know it.”

Roman walked toward the barrier, and Janus followed. They stopped before they got too close, feeling the buzzing energy in the air.

“I think our best bet is for me to carry you,” Roman said.

Janus tried to think of an alternative and came up short. His face was hot. “Fine.”

Roman gently scooped him up, hunched over him, and sprinted through the barrier.

Orange light crackled around them, but did not touch them. Then they were through. Janus took a shaky breath, and Roman looked incredibly relieved. He let Janus back down onto his own two feet gently. “Right,” Roman said. “I guess now we keep going.”

They steeled themselves, then stepped into the cave.

14: The Witch

It was dark, but very warm inside the cave. They paused.

“You brought a lanter-?” Roman began to ask, then torches along the wall lit up with crimson fire in pairs on either side down the passageway.

“Right,” Janus said. “That’s…”

“I’m choosing to believe that’s a good sign,” Roman said, raising himself up to his full height. “Let’s go.”

“Slowly,” Janus said. “Who knows what kinds of traps the duchess has down here…”

So the two continued cautiously. There were a few obvious traps that they avoided carefully, but soon they came to a fork in the path.

Roman turned to Janus. “Which way?”

“Why are you asking me? You’re supposed to be the hero here!”

“You’re the one who got us into the cave!”

“Fine, um…” Janus closed his eyes to concentrate. “I don’t know… Left?”

“You don’t sound very confident,” Roman pointed out.

“Well, I can’t make myself have a vision, can I?” Janus responded, voice rising slightly at the end.

“We’re going right,” Roman said.

“What, just because I said left?”

“No, because that’s the way it feels like we should go,” Roman snapped.

“Fine,” Janus snapped back and began to lead the way down the right passageway.

“Janus-” Roman began as he hurried after him.

Something sank underneath Janus’s foot, his left. He began to trip, and the floor disappeared in front on him. Before he could even think to be frightened, he was yanked back by the back of his shirt and found himself pressed tightly to Roman’s chest. His cane was no longer in his hand, and after a couple more seconds, they heard something shatter far below them at the bottom of the pit.

Janus took a shaky breath. “You, ah… You can let go of me now,” he said softly.

Roman backed up another step away from the pit, taking Janus with him, before finally releasing him. “I’m sorry about your cane,” Roman said.

“It’s replaceable,” Janus said dismissively.

“You were right,” Roman added. “We should have gone left.”

Janus just hummed. They turned back and went to the fork again before taking the other passageway. Janus had to steady himself against the wall, and when Roman offered help, he refused.

They only saw one trap this way, a tripwire which they stepped over.

Eventually they saw a doorway, a green glow coming from within. As they entered the room, Roman gasped. It was filled with glittering gold and shimmering gems, all with that green glow glinting off of their surfaces. The light was emanating from an object at the top of a pedestal in the center of the room.

Upon closer inspection when they made their way closer, this object was a simple hand mirror. It looked exactly like the one in Janus’s bag. Something dark seemed to come from within it, a creeping sense of dread, a paranoia.

“What now?” Roman asked.

“The mirror,” Janus said breathlessly. “You have to destroy it.”

Roman looked around, then picked up a ruby larger than his hand. He hefted it and, satisfied with its mass, brought it to the pedestal. He took the ruby in both hands, held it high, and brought it down on the mirror heavily.

It shattered.

A wraith-like screech ricocheted through the cage, and Roman and Janus both covered their ears. The cave began to rumble as the screech faded.

“We have to get out of here!” Roman yelled.

“Just run!” Janus answered. “I’m right behind you!”

Roman looked conflicted for a moment, then the cave shook harder. Instead of doing as Janus said, he instead picked him up, despite his wriggling and protests, and began to sprint back toward the cave entrance. He jumped over or ducked around each trap, even as gravel began to rain down around them. He dove through the cave entrance just before it was covered by a falling boulder, wrapping himself around Janus as he rolled with his momentum.

“Roman! Janus!” Patton’s voice cried.

Janus found himself extricated from Roman’s arms by Remus, then he was being brushed off and checked over by Patton. Roman was getting the same treatment from Thomas.

“What happened?” Logan asked.

“I broke the mirror,” Roman answered. “The Dragon Witch’s mirror.”

Janus stumbled forward into Patton. He was back in the ballroom. It was on fire, it was so hot, people were screaming and bleeding and dying and dead on the floor, there was a dragon. A huge, hulking red beast, and Roman was standing between her and Janus, sword drawn, blood dripping from his temple to his jaw. Janus tried to cry out, but he couldn’t.

“Janus, are you alright?” Roman asked urgently.

“We have to get back to the palace,” Janus answered immediately. “My vision, it’s still… The mirror, I think it just made her angry.”

“I can get us back,” Virgil said. “It’ll use up… a lot of energy.”

“No, Virgil,” Logan said. “That’s very risky.”

“I have to,” Virgil insisted. “My parents are in that palace. Valerie is in that palace. Our friends are there, good people!”

Logan hesitantly nodded.

Virgil took a deep breath. “I’m going to open a portal. You’ll all have to get through it as quickly as possible, I’ll go last.”

Logan opened his mouth to protest.

“Logan and I will go last,” Virgil corrected himself.

As soon as everyone was ready, Virgil opened his arms, and a portal opened, like a tear in the air itself. It swirled with purple energy.

The adventurers filed through, one at a time, but as quickly as possible. Logan and Virgil walked through last, sweat beading on Virgil’s forehead, then the portal closed with a sound like the air was being sucked out of the area around it.

15: The Hero

Andy stood in the ballroom, off to the side, trying to disappear into the background. He took comfort from the fact that Pryce was somewhere nearby. Their cover story had finally failed when Eschive had barged into Virgil’s room to demand that he attend the party. At least he didn’t spend enough time around his nephew to recognize that Andy was not actually said nephew. Eschive decided he looked well enough to come downstairs, so Andy got dressed in Virgil’s clothes, and he went downstairs. To a party. Where multiple people would see him. And realize he wasn’t the prince. And arrest him. And torture him. And execute him-

Pryce slipped his hand into Andy’s behind a pillar and squeezed gently before letting go. Andy took a deep breath. Right. It was okay. Because Pryce was here. And the makeup made him look more like Virgil, and he had the right haircut, and their voices sounded alike. It would be fine. 

“A wonderful party, isn’t it?” said a lilting voice. 

Andy snapped his head over to look, and there was Duchess Adalinda Draco in all her glory. She wore a maroon gown, and her neck and ears dripped with wine-colored jewels that glinted red in the light. A gold circlet inlaid with rubies adorned her gorgeous hair. There was a glass clasped in her delicate hand, full of a translucent yellow liquid. Her lips were painted the color of blood. Andy held back a shudder at the thought. 

“Your father has been so welcoming to me,” the duchess continued. “A going-away party is just the cherry on top, don’t you think?” 

Andy nodded a little. “It’s a wonderful party…”

“Isn’t it just?” Adalinda asked. As she stepped closer to approach him, she stumbled slightly, and just then, Andy noticed Eschive out of the corner of his eye. He was cornered. It was a trap.

Adalinda’s drink splashed all over him as Eschive caught her. Andy looked down to find his makeup running down onto his shirt. 

Eschive gasped loudly. “You’re not Prince Virgil! Guards! Seize him!” 

Andy stood, shocked, as multiple guards rushed towards him. Then Pryce was in front of him, backing him toward the wall to stand between him and anyone who might harm him. 

“There’s a perfectly good explanation,” he said calmly. 

The king and queen had stood from their chairs and were beginning to move toward the commotion. 

Suddenly, an ear-piercing shriek echoed through the ballroom. Most everyone in the room covered their ears as every glass in the room burst into shards.. They all looked toward the source of the sound to find Adalinda thrashing in Eschive’s arms. “Duchess Draco, what’s wrong?” Andy heard Eschive ask through the ringing in his ears. 

Adalinda lifted her head. Red scales speckled her face. The scleras of her eyes were pitch black, her irises crimson, and her pupils slitted. She glared at Andy and Pryce, then turned her head to the king and queen. 

The party guests all watched as more scales formed on her skin, as she grew in size, ripping her gown to shreds, as her face elongated into a snout, as her fingers stretched into talons, as wings burst forth from her shoulder blades. She shrieked again, this time from a mouth filled with several rows of sharp teeth and steaming spittle.

Then she breathed out a column of flames toward the ceiling. 

The fire caught and spread quickly, and the chandelier fell onto several people. There was screaming and wailing as the guests fled. 

“Andy, go!” Pryce commanded. 

“Not without you!” Andy answered stubbornly. 

Huge claws swung toward them, and Pryce drew his sword in a flash, catching them against the blade. “Andy!” he exclaimed. “Just listen to me!” 

Andy ducked under a table as the Dragon Witch raised her head again and spat more fire. Then he watched as her tail swung across the floor and hit Pryce head-on, knocking him to the ground. He didn’t move. Andy went to his side immediately. He didn’t care about anything other than getting Pryce away from there.

The sound of ripping filled the room, and Andy turned to see a purple portal in the center of the room. Out stepped each of the members of the adventuring party. Prince Virgil and Logan came last, and the prince slumped into Logan’s arms as soon as the portal closed.

Janus looked around quickly, surveying the scene. 

Roman, on the other hand, charged straight in, sword drawn. Thomas followed after him, though Janus could hear Remy protesting. The smell of burning flesh made Janus’s head spin. 

“Virgil!” someone called. Virgil, Logan, and Janus looked over just in time to see Valerie engulfed in flame. Virgil screamed.

When the flames receded there was nothing left. 

Eschive and the king and queen promptly met the same fate. 

Logan started to pull Virgil toward the door, and Patton rushed to help, but Virgil fought with all the strength he had left each step of the way. 

Janus looked up at the Dragon Witch. She looked back at him. “Come and get me, then,” Janus cried. 

The Dragon Witch ignored Roman and Thomas in favor of Janus. She swung her claws at him, barely catching his leg and leaving three large gashes and one smaller scratch there. He fell to the floor.

Then Janus watched as Roman’s sword separated the Dragon Witch’s head from her body. It hit the floor with a mighty thud, her body hitting the floor just moments later with an even louder one. 

There was silence for a few moments. Janus and Roman stared at each other with wide eyes.

Laughter. Someone was laughing. In a very familiar voice. Everyone turned to look at Remus, who was standing next to the Dragon Witch’s severed head. He laughed again. 

“Of course she couldn’t finish the job,” he said. A vicious smile split his face. “Useless. There’s still one left.” He turned his head to look at Virgil.

“Remus…” Roman began softly. “What are you talking about?” 

Remus turned his attention to Roman. “What do you mean? I’m the one pulling the strings, dumbass!” He stalked towards Virgil, and those not already with Virgil moved with him, trying to stay in his way. Janus couldn’t get to his feet, though. 

“It took me years to get that stupid witch strong enough to stage a coup, and she couldn’t even kill all the royals!” 

“Why?” Virgil asked softly, voice choked. 

“Because your great grandfather stole my true name!” Remus snapped. “And when you do that to a fae, you steal their life away! I was a slave to him for forty years, and then to your grandfather for another forty!” He sneered at Virgil. “And I swore revenge against their line.”

“What?” Roman asked, unable to get any other words out. 

“Keep up!” Remus said. “I’m a fae, the king stole my true name, I escaped, I meddled with Adalinda Draco’s magic… They punished me for that, my court. That’s how I ended up here. ” He made a disgusted face. “They were going to replace you,” he said, pointing at Roman, “with me. Luckily for you, Galena’s smarter than the idiot they sent to steal you away and leave me in your place.”

“Remus,” Patton spoke up. “This isn’t… This isn’t you!”

Remus sneered. “It is me, though, isn’t it? I’m not the person you met back then. I didn’t know who I was when I met you. Then I remembered, and here we are.” He turned his attention back to Virgil. “And all that’s left for me is to kill him.”

As Remus took a step forward, Patton stepped in front of Virgil, arms spread. “If you want to kill him, you’ll have to kill me first,” Patton said evenly. “Please, Remus… You can stop this now… Please.”

Remus took another step forward. “Careful what you wish for, Patty-cakes.”

Janus could see it in his mind’s eye, Remus sending a blast of green energy from his hand. The energy hitting Patton. Patton falling. So he moved.

Janus sprang to his feet and launched himself to be in between Patton and Remus, fueled by only adrenaline as his leg screamed out in protest. 

It only felt cold where Remus’s attack hit him. He fell back to the floor, dazed. Patton fell to his knees at his side and began desperately trying to keep him awake. He could only pay attention to Remus, though.

“Janus!” Roman cried. He stepped in next, sword raised. He quickly turned his attention to Remus, hyper-aware of the threat he posed. “Re, I’m sorry,” he said. “I’ve been a horrible brother. I should’ve stood up to Father for you, and for Patton. I could’ve done right by you, and I didn’t. But I’m trying now. You can leave. You can run away, and no one other than us has to know this was you. If you just leave Virgil alone. Please.”

Remus stalked ever-closer, a dark look in his eyes. “I’ll kill you, too,” he told Roman.

Roman lowered his sword. “Then do it.”

Remus bared his teeth. “I’m not bluffing, Roman. Get out of my way!”

“No,” Roman answered. “I won’t.” 

Once again, Janus saw Remus attacking someone. This time it was Roman. He looked to his side. The mirror had fallen out of his satchel. There was a crack in the glass, vertically down the middle. 

“Remember to keep your mirror nearby!”

Janus grabbed the mirror, pushed himself up as far as he could, and tossed it to Roman. 

Roman caught it with his back turned, then looked at it, puzzled. Then he saw Remus lift his hand to attack again. He threw the mirror at Remus with all his might, somehow sure that was what he needed to do. 

They all heard the sound of glass shattering, but when the bright red light that filled the room faded, the mirror fell to the floor, intact and unbroken, with a series of soft clinks. 

Janus’s vision, once again, faded to black.

Epilogue

Roman cradled the mirror in his hands as he stepped into his home, which now felt incredibly unfamiliar. He was still covered in scratches, bruises, and worse. Grey was rushing toward him to check on him, but Roman spoke before he could get a word out. “I need to talk to my mother and father urgently. I’ll meet them in the study.”

The walk to the study was numb, empty. The portraits on the walls stared at him with disgust. He reminded himself of the court doctor’s assurances that Janus would survive. It would be okay. He looked down at the mirror. It wouldn’t be okay.

He sat down in the armchair in the corner of the study, looking around at the room as if he were seeing it for the first time. It was utilitarian, but it somehow still comforted him to be in this place that he’d often worked in from a very young age.

His father arrived first. “Good gracious, Roman, look at the state of you! Go clean yourself up.”

“I need to speak with you and Mother first, Father.”

There was silence for a few moments before Carine entered. “Roman! Are you alright, dear?!” She carefully knelt before him.

“I have something to tell you,” Roman said in lieu of an answer. He finally gained the courage to say it when he saw Galena sneak into the room. So he told them the whole story. From Remus’s grudge against the royal family to their adventure in the woods to the confrontation at the palace. He held out the mirror.

Though the duke looked at the mirror dispassionately, the duchess touched it and began to sob. Roman joined her in her tears, and once the duke left without a word, Galena came to them and hugged them both. Roman cried into the arms of both his mother and his nanny for hours.

-

Virgil held Patton tightly. They lay in Virgil’s bed in his chambers. Patton had finally stopped crying a while before, but he still occasionally shivered, despite the blankets wrapped around them. 

Virgil looked up as Logan entered the room, carrying a tray. He set it down on the bedside table, then he and Virgil worked together to get Patton into a sitting position. Logan sat down with them, then distributed the glasses of water and the jam thumbprint cookies from the tray. 

Patton sat between Virgil and Logan, and Virgil and Logan held him and held each other’s hands behind Patton’s back.

When Patton fell asleep, Logan moved the cups, Patton’s glasses, and his own glasses to the bedside table. He and Virgil snuggled up to Patton and fell asleep, too. They desperately needed a rest. 

-

“It was… hard on us all, Emile, but I worry about Patton, Janus, and Roman especially,” Thomas said. 

“All you can do is be there for them, Tommy,” Emile advised. “They all need friends right now, and you’re their friend. Be there when you can, and ask what they need occasionally.”

Thomas nodded. “You’re right…”

“Whatcha doin’?” a voice asked from the honeysuckle trellis archway that led into the center of the temple gardens. 

Thomas turned to see Remy standing there, dressed in his more stylish clothes he wore on his days off. “Talking to Emile,” Thomas answered.

Emile made himself visible to Remy and waved. 

Remy smiled and waved back before walking over to sit on the stone bench next to Thomas. “How’re you feeling, hun? That whole thing was… a lot.”

Thomas gave him a tense smile. “Really tired. I’ll be alright after some rest, so I’m taking a break from training. Or… Janus told me I had to, anyway, and I’m going to listen.”

Remy smiled more softly. “Good. One of the older servants is letting Logan and me take a break. Logan won’t step down as Virgil’s personal servant, but he’s accepted some help.”

Thomas nodded. “Good.”

Remy nodded back. “Yeah.” 

They both looked at the fountain in front of them, and noticed that Emile had disappeared. They still remained silent. Remy slipped his hand into Thomas’s. They rested.

-

Pryce opened his eyes blearily. He caught the coattails of Prince Virgil leaving the room, and he realized he wasn’t in any pain. He looked to his right.

Andy was sitting in a chair next to him, leaning against the wall and snoring softly. Pryce smiled fondly. He sat up and gently held Andy’s hand. He watched him sleep, taking comfort in the rise and fall of his chest, until he woke up and smiled sleepily at him. And Pryce smiled back.

-

Janus sat at his readings table, head in hands, staring at the table. The wood grain was not interesting enough to keep his thoughts from wandering to Remus.

He didn’t look up when the door opened, or when someone pulled out the chair across from him and sat down. 

“Mother and Father agreed to let Emile’s acolytes watch over the mirror,” said Roman. Janus just hummed in response. Roman sighed, sounding more tired than Janus had ever heard him. Then he set down a bottle heavily on the table. “Screw this, let’s drink.”

-

“I so saved your butt,” Roman slurred, pointing at Janus around the drink in his hand.

“Did not!” Janus responded in kind. “I had it all under control! Takes more than an angry bandit to kill me!”

“Admit it!” Roman cried. “You need me around.”

Janus paused for a moment, looked down at his drink, looked back up at Roman. “I do,” he said softly.

“Huh?” Roman asked.

“I do need you,” Janus said. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Huh?” Roman repeated.

Janus leaned forward over the table suddenly and pressed his lips to Roman’s. Roman’s stillness worried him for a moment, but then he leaned into the kiss.

When Janus awoke in the morning, he was curled up in his bed, in Roman’s arms, still wearing the clothes he’d been wearing the night before.

-

The coronation wasn’t exactly a happy day. Virgil didn’t particularly want the crown. Valerie was the one who was supposed to be the next ruler. The thought of replacing her made Virgil want to vomit. Logan squeezed his hand. Then the acolyte of the Queen Goddess began to speak, to ask Virgil about his oath to the kingdom. Virgil agreed. The crowd cheered. When he left the temple, at least all his friends were waiting for him. Patton hugged him tightly.

-

“What did you decide to name her?” Janus asked, looking down in awe at the cooing infant in his arms.

Patton took a deep breath. “Rhiannon.”

Virgil grinned as the baby gripped his finger. “I love it. That’s a perfect name.”

Roman patted Patton’s shoulder. “Get some rest while you can. We’ll watch over her for a while.” 

A chorus of agreements sounded throughout the room, and Patton found himself feeling so safe and loved that falling asleep was as easy as taking a breath and letting it out.

-

Logan bounced Rhiannon around the group gently, holding her exactly as Patton had shown him. 

“Logan,” Janus said.

“Logan,” Roman repeated.

“Logan!” Virgil said.

Logan looked over. 

“She’s not fussing anymore, silly. Come set her down and lay with us,” Patton instructed. 

Logan set the baby down between Virgil and Patton, then spread himself out on the picnic blanket between Virgil and Thomas. 

“That one looks like a duck,” Patton said softly, pointing to a cloud.

“Yeah,” Janus said. “Yeah, it does.”

Final Note

Wow! I'm so proud of this one, guys! Longest fic I've ever finished!!! I hope you really enjoyed, please tell me what you think! Remember you can find @creative-lampd-liberties's art here [link to art post]! Thank you so much to the mods of @tss-storytime! And thank you to you, yes you, for reading!

#tssstorytimesubmission2023 #sanders sides #roman sanders #remus sanders #janus sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #character thomas #remy sleep #remy sanders #dr emile picani #sanders sides fic #sanders sides fanfiction #ghostie writes #mind the warnings in part 1

[fangirlwriting-stories]

I Choose You

Summary: Virgil supports Roman after the wedding, and is not prepared for Roman to support him too.

…

It wasn’t that Virgil hated Janus and Remus, was the thing.

Well, okay, obviously he wasn’t the biggest fan of them.  Janus was a prick and a liar and Virgil hated that he could never trust a word he said.  Remus was an asshole who enjoyed freaking Virgil out on purpose and never considered how Virgil might not like being jump scared all the time.  They were both a nightmare to live with, because Remus never cleaned up and Janus was always too busy taking a self care day to clean up, so it always fell to Virgil, since a messy environment stressed him out.  Neither of them wanted to hear him out when he tried to argue that the core sides had decent points to make.  Neither of them listened to him when he tried to say that he didn’t want to keep going over there alone, and that dealing with constant hatred from people, even if they weren’t technically his friends, was hard.  Neither of them believed him when Virgil tired to tell them just because Thomas accepted him now didn’t mean he wanted to leave—

Anyway, he had a lot of reasons to be pissed at them.

But that wasn’t even the main problem.  The main problem was that Virgil wasn’t stupid.  Obviously this bullshit with Janus wasn’t going to last forever.  Patton and him were going to talk for a while and then they were going to remember why they hated each other and why the two sides of the mindscape had split up in the first place.  And if Virgil attempted to use this time to do something stupid like fix things with Janus and Remus, when the inevitable arguments and fallout happened, he was just going to be pulled back and forth like the rope in a game of tug-of-war, and Virgil didn’t want to fucking do that again.

No, he was here with the core sides now.  This was the choice he’d made, the choice they’d all forced him to make, he wasn’t going back now.  Besides, he was still pissed at Janus and Remus anyway.

So, instead of waiting around for Patton and Janus’ tentative bullshit to inevitably fall apart, Virgil decided to spent time with someone who A, already shared his completely correct worldview, and B… really needed some support right now.

Roman hadn’t been doing great since the wedding.  Virgil had sort of known that was inevitable.  It was part of the reason he was so proud of him for making the decision he had.  Obviously Janus was spouting a bunch of bullshit when he said going to the wedding was the wrong choice.  But even if he was right, Virgil would still have been proud of Roman.  That had to be so hard for him, and he deserved to be able to feel proud of his decision, instead of having it spat on by a slimy two-faced snake who didn’t know what the fuck he was talking about.

But either way, because things had been hard on Roman for a while, Virgil was making it his personal mission to give him some support and buildup.  He clearly needed it, and he deserved it, and Virgil was going to give this “good friend” thing a shot.  Thomas knows he owed it to Roman, with all the ways he’d treated him in the past.

The two of them had started hanging out more for a while now, really since Thomas had first met Nico.  They watched Disney together (though Virgil still could not get behind Roman’s reasons for loving it), and they listened to music that Roman belted out the lyrics too, and, on days Virgil was feeling particularly brave, they sang duets.

They didn’t tend to bring up the Patton-and-Janus situation, but it had come up before.  Sometimes Roman just wanted to talk about it, sometimes they both wanted to bitch about Janus, sometimes (very occasionally) Roman would ask if Virgil could give him some reassurance.  Virgil didn’t tend to bring it up, though.  He was supposed to be here to support Roman, and besides, his feelings on the matter were very much worked out.

At least, that’s what he’d thought.

Roman was still the one who brought it up first.  They were sitting together on Roman’s bed, watching Mulan on the giant TV Roman had at the end of the bed specifically for this purpose.  Virgil was pretty tired, as he hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before, and he was trying to come up with a way to casually ask Roman if he could lean against him and take a nap without Roman thinking that he didn’t want to be here or that he suddenly didn’t like Mulan anymore.  Before he could actually figure the words out, however, Roman turned to face him.

“Virgil,” he said.  “Do you ever think that maybe Janus actually does want to help Thomas in his own way?”

Virgil tensed and immediately sat up.  “What?  Fuck no.  What are you talking about?”

“I just… I’m thinking about it,” Roman said hesitantly.  “I mean, he’s still a slimy serpentine scammer and I’m still mad at him, obviously.  I want an apology too.  But… I don’t know if I want to write his entire opinion off, just because I don’t like him.  I… that hasn’t tended to go well for me in the past.”

He looked away from Virgil, who’s throat felt like it was closing up all of a sudden.

“No,” he said.  “That’s different.  That was different.  I’m not like Janus, it’s different.”

Roman turned back to him in surprise.  “I wasn’t saying you were like him, Virgil,” he said.  “I was comparing my own approaches to you both, if anything.  I just… if everyone’s going to treat me like I’m doing something wrong whether I treat the others poorly or not… it kind of feels better to not scream at them and shut them down automatically?  I don’t love it when that happens to me.  I can’t imagine you loved it happening to you.”

Virgil shook his head.  “But— but Janus is a prick,” he said weakly.  “He doesn’t deserve a second chance, Roman.”

Roman bit his lip and turned to look at Virgil.  “Maybe… maybe he does, though?  I’m not—” he held up his hands.  “I’m not trying to make your decision for you.  You still get to be pissed at him for whatever reasons you want.  Like I said, I’m still pissed at him too.  I just…” Roman sighed, and leaned his head on his hand.  “I don’t want this to last forever,” he muttered.

Virgil couldn’t breathe.  He shook his head.  “What are you talking about,” he said weakly.  “What are you talking about, it will last forever.  We can’t just fix things.  We’re not going to be able to make things better.”

Roman turned to look at Virgil in surprise.  “Well geez, that’s a bit of a depressing outlook, isn’t it, Count Woe-laf?”

“It’s not depressing, it’s just a fact,” Virgil snapped.  “Do you know how long all of us have been split up?  There’s no fixing things at this point.  There’s too much bad blood.”

Roman narrowed his eyes in what looked like concern.  “Virgil,” he said quietly.  “We fixed things with you.”

Virgil glared away, wrapping his arms around himself.  “That’s different,” he whispered.

Roman was quiet for a minute.  “Do you not want to fix things with Janus and Remus?” he asked finally.

“It doesn’t matter what I want,” Virgil said firmly.

Roman put a hand on his arm.  “Yes, Virgil,” he said.  “It does.”

Virgil grit his teeth and turned around to glare at Roman.  “No, Roman,” he snapped.  “It never has.  It didn’t matter when I got sent off with the others when we all first split up.  It didn’t matter when I started getting closer with you guys again and Janus and Remus didn’t like that.  It didn’t matter what I said I wanted or what they said they wanted, everyone made me choose anyway.  Someone’s always going to make me choose, and I would rather not get swept up in the stupid hope that it’s somehow going to work this time, okay?  I already picked you guys.  I’m not going to sit around and wait for Janus and Patton to start hating each other again.  And I’m certainly not going to try and make it work in the meantime.  I would recommend you not try either.  It’s just going to make it hurt more later.”

Roman stared at him for a minute, and eventually Virgil just glared away.

“Virgil,” Roman said eventually, and Virgil felt a gentle hand on his shoulder that he jerked away from.

“Virgil,” Roman said again anyway.  “Did— did we all make you feel like you had to choose between us?”

Virgil laughed and looked up at the ceiling.  “No one made me feel like anything,” he said weakly.  “Janus said ‘It’s them or us, and if you choose them you better not show your face around here again.’”

“Virgil,” Roman said, and suddenly Virgil was swept up into Roman’s arms.  Virgil didn’t have the strength to pull away when it was the last thing he wanted, so instead he just buried his head in Roman’s chest.

“Did you want to stay with them?” Roman murmured.

“I mean,” Virgil said weakly.  “Back then, maybe.  But they didn’t believe me.  And now, I— Thomas would never trust me again.  None of you would ever trust me again.”

“I would,” Roman said, tightening his arms.

Virgil scoffed.

“Hey,” Roman said, pushing him back to arms length even as he kept a very firm grip on Virgil’s arms.  “Listen to me, okay?”

His gaze was so intense and obviously serious that Virgil couldn’t do anything but nod.

“I know I messed up in how I treated you before,” Roman said.  He wiped away a tear that Virgil hadn’t even realized was there.  “I wouldn’t do it again.  If you chose to go back and stay with them, that wouldn’t change anything about how I feel about you.”

Virgil shook his head.  “Roman, that’s not—”

“Hey.  They didn’t believe you, and that sucked, right?”  He squeezed Virgil’s shoulders.  “You can believe me.”

Virgil took a shaky breath and wiped at his eyes.  “It doesn’t even matter,” he said.  “Nothing’s ever going to get better.”

“I’m not so sure that’s true,” Roman said quietly.  “You don’t think they miss you?”

“They hate me.”

Roman didn’t say anything to that, but Virgil could see the disbelief on his face.

“Okay,” he said anyway.  “But, say they didn’t.  Say they wanted to fix things.  Would you want to too?”

Virgil didn’t say anything, which was apparently enough of an answer.

“Then please,” Roman said, leaning forward to look Virgil in the eyes.  “Don’t stop yourself from trying for our sake.”

Virgil shook his head.  “I don’t—”

Roman cut Virgil off by pulling him into his chest again.  “I choose you, okay?” he murmured.  “Whether you’re with them or us.”

Virgil took a shaky breath, and rested his head against Roman’s chest.  “Okay,” he whispered.

Roman breathed a sigh of what sounded like relief and just sat there and held Virgil for a while, and Virgil let him.

He wasn’t sure if he fully believed Roman or not.  But Roman was right that it really did suck to have your own care for someone denied to your face.  So, for the sake of that, Virgil decided he’d try.  It still probably wouldn’t fix anything.

But it was a nice thought.

#sanders sides #virgil sanders #roman sanders #platonic prinxiety #platonic anxceit #platonic dukexiety #my fic

[ihauntyoursocks]

Lavender and Honey and Fresh Laundry

I wrote a little fic for Sanders Sides with Virgil and Thomas, it’s mostly just some hurt/comfort and a bit of a study on how Thomas is feeling about all the things happening to his sides, and him, because honestly I haven’t seen much focus on him in fics and I think that’s a shame. TW for disassociation I think, but it’s really mild. Also this is all very platonic by the way, just bros comforting each other.

Actual summary:

Thomas… Thomas was having a hard time dealing with all the emotions after SVS and POF and all the arguments between the sides, he just, he was tired.

They were arguing again. This was an almost weekly occurrence normally, but after Dec-Janus’s “acceptance” it’d been happening more often. The arguments had been getting worse too, more personal, barbed insults, it hurt to hear them speaking like that to each other. He just didn’t understand, all their main goals were for him to make sure he was happy, and successful, and safe. But they could never agree on how to go about it. He supposed that made sense, they all represented parts of him, and those parts all create who he is in wildly different ways. Honestly he was tired, and sad, mostly sad honestly, his sides, they were almost his family. And boy that felt weird to think, that the parts of him given human form were family, but they were. And they seemed like they hated each other.

It was worse this time. He thought he might’ve spotted some tears, though he couldn’t remember from who, it was mostly just a blur. Roman was yelling at Janus and Patton. Logan seemed to be supporting Janus and Patton, thought he seemed to be taking his own side more often then anyone else’s, and he was more angry then he usually ever was, even on a bad day. Remus wasn’t a part of the argument, but he had popped up a few times to offer his… opinions. Virgil… Virgil looked almost trapped, and panicked, the embodiment of anxiety rarely ever looked this conflicted. It hurt. All of it hurt. He just wanted to help settle this, so they would stop hurting each other. And stop hurting him by association, can’t exactly create anything creative or try and create a schedule for the day if your Creativity and Logic are just as fucked up as you were.

He saw Logan’s eyes flash orange a few times, during the argument’s, when he got really angry. He was worried about what that meant, whether it would hurt Logan, whether it would hurt any of the others.

Roman seemed more defensive and angry than ever, his feelings of what seemed like inadequacy shining through when hit with some particularly biting remarks. He really wished he could tell Roman that he was his hero, that nothing could change that, that he was wonderful and powerful and worthy of everyone loving him.

He couldn’t take it anymore.

He sat down slowly, crouching onto the floor and then carefully folding his legs into a criss-cross position that was probably going to be uncomfortable in a few minutes.

He put his hands over his ears.

He knew it was probably immature and it looked stupid and he should probably say something instead of just… shutting down. But he couldn’t, he couldn’t talk, he couldn’t say anything, he just wanted them to stop.

No one noticed him sit down, all too preoccupied with each other. Until, Virgil looked over at him, seemingly just to get a feeling of what he was thinking of the argument this time. He did a little double take when he saw him on the floor. He glanced to the others and then slowly began moving towards him to sit as well. The others didn’t notice.

“Hey Thomas,”

“Hi Virgil,”

“Are you… okay? Do you want my headphones? They don’t seem to be stopping anytime soon, and my headphones have pretty good noise-cancelling,”

God how had he ever thought of Virgil as a villain? It was how he was trying to come off, being anxiety and all, and how he thought of anxiety. But still, the emo was actually just… trying to help, at any time. Anxiety is a defense mechanism. He should’ve remembered that sooner. Much sooner.

“I’m sorry I ever thought of you as a villain,” he blurted, without really thinking, or responding to the question he was asked.

“Oh, uhm…” Virgil stuttered at that, he looked like he didn’t know what to say. Funny, Virgil never stuttered.

He took a breath and continued, trying to fill the silence, “I mean, I know that you were filling that role I thought anxiety was supposed to be, and that you guys are based on my perception of you, but still, I should’ve remembered all those lectures in middle school about how anxiety is mostly a defense mechanism, and that it isn’t so much a bad thing as just, a thing that happens and I’m so so sorry,” he didn’t take many pauses during that statement. He probably should’ve, so it didn’t sound as jumbled and scattered.

“Yea-yeah, yeah, thank you” Virgil stuttered again, was what he was saying really that shocking? It was honestly something he should have said a while ago. “I-I get it, I understand what you mean, but, don’t feel bad about it, I was trying to play the villain, because I thought that was what would make you all listen,” he took a deep breathe and continued “but that wasn’t right wasn’t it? Honestly I help better like this, when you all trust me, when Logan and Roman and Patton are there to help as well,”

Wow, this certainly wasn’t how he was expecting this to go, having Virgil sit with him was already a mild surprise, but actually having the conversation they both should’ve had when he first told him his name? Huh.

“You do know that, don’t you?” Virgil said, roughly, “I trust you too, and we work best when we trust each other? Honestly I was expecting you to have more of a reaction when I told you… the thing,”

“Oh, yeah, the thing” he looked up at the others, still arguing, oblivious to the quiet conversation happening at their feet. “Honestly Virgil? I think that the whole ‘there are dark and light sides’ thing is stupid, I mean, there are no evil parts of a person, just pieces of the puzzle,” glancing at the ground he continued, “You taught me that, and Janus, and I’m sure even Remus truly is an important brushstroke of the painting that makes me,”

“Yeah, maybe you’re right, Thomas,”

“I would like your headphones though, yes, they are so, so loud, and I want to be in a better headspace when I try and tell all of them what I told you to be honest,”

Virgil quickly dug them out of his pockets “oh yeah of course! Here, just hook them up to your phone,” he plugged them into his phone, and the soft sound of an orchestra filled them. It was really nice. He started to lean on Virgil, ever so slightly, his jacket was soft, and it smelled like lavender and honey and fresh laundry, and honestly, he was just… tired. Virgil let him, glancing down at the man now adorning his shoulder with a slightly panicked look. Virgil was always a bit anxious ( hah ) about physical affection with others. This is totally normal, he thought, just a guy leaning on the embodiment of his anxiety listening to orchestra music while his other facets argue about moral obligation and personal flaws.

In spite of even everything that had happened, that would still happen, he thought everything would be okay. It was going to be some work, a lot of work, but they were going to be okay.

So sorry if this is wildly OOC I haven’t written much of them and I’m still getting used to it, also I know similar convos to this have happened in canon in the show but I wanted to do a full conversation between the two just by themselves.

#sanders sides #virgil sanders #thomas sanders #sanders side fic #ts sides #platonic #my fic

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Remember, Remember

I was just rereading "Care and Keeping of Idiots" (amazing btw) and in the beginning Patton has a notebook that Janus takes from him? Patton protests that it helps him "remember stuff" and Janus counters that it actually helps him to feel guilty. Uh, this really piqued my interest so maybe could you write a fic about Patton and this notebook, what exactly it is? (and the sides helping him with realizing he doesn't have to use it <3) – anon

Read on Ao3

Warnings: light guilt tripping of self

Pairings: dlampr, can be platonic or romantic i don't care

Word Count: 2061

Listen, Patton doesn't understand what the big deal is. This is what notebooks are for, after all. Notebooks are for taking notes! They are for helping you remember things! They are for whatever words or feelings make their way from your brain down your arm, through a pen or pencil—or marker—and onto the paper. That's their purpose! It would be silly to not use a notebook if you have things you want to remember and you need some place to write it down.

As would anyone who cares deeply about anything, Patton has a lot of things he wants to write down. Recipes that he wants to try out, shows he needs to catch up on, books he wants to read…books he has read and wants to talk about, things he has to do, there's a lot. And, also, because sometimes talking about feelings is really hard, he writes about them instead. Listen, they've all be working on being more open with each other, but the truth of the matter is that some of them are more easily able to tap into that vulnerability and be able to share it than others. That's a true fact about the world, whether Patton likes it or not, and he's not totally unaware here. He knows that he's contributed to that in his own way, and it's not his place to demand the others be open about things with him if they're not comfy with it yet.

So, because notebooks can be very useful things, he writes about it.

He's penned long pages about how much he adores Roman's passion and drive, but sometimes he worries that when it doesn't come as easily, Roman will get upset with himself. How it's okay if he just needs to make stuff for Roman, not the rest of them, not even for Thomas. How much he's sorry that he's contributed in any way, shape, or form to the insecurity that his kiddo tries so hard to cover up, but he knows is there. Sometimes he makes himself cry as he's writing those, not just because he knows Roman's particularly upset right now, but he's dredged up all the emotion in himself and, well, it has to go somewhere.

He keeps little short lists of how much he appreciates Logan's efforts—he does his best to say them out loud too, but sometimes Logan's not in the place where he wants to hear that, so he writes them down to save them for later. He's been trying to be better about asking Logan when he doesn't understand things, but sometimes the conversation moves too fast and he doesn't want to be a bother and slow everyone way down just so Logan can explain the thing he mentioned, like, five minutes ago. So, in the name of efficiency, he writes them down and looks them up later and does his best to recontextualize the conversation with his new knowledge. He's pretty sure Janus has a notebook that automatically transcribes conversations for him for when hearing is hard and lip-reading is harder, maybe he'll ask if he can learn a bit of that too.

Speaking of Janus…oh, he's written way too much and not enough at all about Janus. He's still not entirely sure what his own personal feelings are about the whole…Dark Sides/Light Sides thing, especially because it sort of feels like they're trying to do away with it entirely now that they've just found out the lines exist. Which isn't really fair, he knows, since he's the one who pushed them away to begin with, but they haven't—it's not—this is the first time he's really interacted with them in a long time, and so it's impossible to slide back into what it once was, and they're not quite at the place where they can start forging something new. Not yet. So, because he needs somewhere to put them, he writes.

Virgil, as will come as a surprise to no one, does not like being confronted with sentiment. (He actually wrote that one word for word and tried not to giggle at how much it reminded him of the look Virgil had when Roman tried to rope him into singing Disney songs together.) And so, because he's not above making his kiddos admit how great they are but he doesn't want to make them uncomfortable, he writes them all down instead. About how he's so proud at how much Virgil is trying to come out of his shell, how much he loves hearing about what Virgil's interested in now, or how much he secretly agrees that yeah, that story really was kind of edgy and not in a good way.

With Remus, who he doesn't know that well, he mostly writes down questions. Some of them are…in better faith than others, he'll admit. Why did he put his bear trap in the fridge? Why is there a water balloon filled with hot sauce in the sink? Where did his deodorant go? How did he come up with the idea of making every single doorknob make a different sound? What's his Kraken's name? That sort of thing. And maybe, sometimes he wants to ask things about him and Roman. How it feels being two parts of Creativity, or sharing the Imagination, or why, in the middle of the night, if he's very quiet, the walls sort of feel like they're shaking.

But! Maybe that's none of his business. That's why it's better to write it down, see? That way he can work out all his thoughts on paper and not have to bother anyone with them. Also, that means that if he needs to remember something, but he doesn't necessarily want them to know he's having trouble remembering it, he can write it down! Like how Roman doesn't like it when you ask about projects he hasn't talked about in a while, or how Logan doesn't like be disturbed unless the sign on his door says he's disturbable, or how he needs to ask Janus first if he's being serious or not about doing something, or about how Virgil needs time to himself away from everyone, or how he needs to leave Remus alone, that sort of thing. He should just know those, so he writes them down so he remembers them, but that's all.

That's what notebooks are for, isn't it?

Well, from the way everyone's staring at him with a mix of frustration, pity, and confusion, maybe he doesn't know what notebooks are for after all.

"That's not—you are not incorrect in your assessment of what a notebook is used for," Logan says slowly, "but the way in which you are choosing to use it…"

"Yeesh, Pop Star," Virgil mumbles, toying with the strings of his hoodie, "you're…damn, you're kinda giving me a run for my money."

"What? What do you mean, kiddo?"

"Having lists of things you need to do to monitor your own behavior?" He jerks his thumb at Roman. "That's both a him thing and a me thing."

"And it doesn't sound like it's particularly healthy either."

Patton laughs—surely, they can't be serious—but then everyone else is still looking at him like that and he tugs on the hem of his shirt. "I think you're overreacting a bit, kiddos, it's not that bad."

"You're keeping lists of ways in which you should behave in order not to upset us," Logan summarizes, "is that right?"

"Well, yeah, I don't want to upset you! And you have boundaries, those are important—"

"Boundaries like 'leave Remus alone?'" Remus looks up from his little huddle on the couch. Patton's heart sinks.

"N-not as in leave you alone alone, just that—I know you don't like being bothered by me, so—"

"How do you know that?"

"W-well, it's just that every time I try and come and talk to you, you're always—it feels like you don't want me there."

"Yeah, because the last three times you came, it was when I was handling the newborns from my side of the Imagination or working with the corrosive chemicals that Ro said aren't allowed in the Imagination anymore. You could've been hurt." Remus frowns. "Your sense of timing is shitty but it's not like I don't want to spend time with you."

"O-oh. Um, I'm…sorry?"

"Shit, no, I didn't mean it like that, I just—" Remus sighs, scrubbing a hand over his face— "I'm not going to try and blame you for your brain being spicy, but I am going to point out that you jumped straight to 'don't interact' as opposed to asking me why I wanted you to leave in those instances."

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Logan lean over to Janus to ask what 'brain spiciness' is, but he's too distracted by how Virgil's frowning at him. "What?"

"Are you—do the things in your notebook also consist of you reminding yourself of mistakes you've made in the past?"

"…yes? If I write the mistake down, I'm not likely to forget it and make it again, right?"

"How often do you reread them?"

"Every day, why?" The collective wince that happens is enough to let him know that was the wrong answer. "O-or! I mean, it's not everyday, every day, but—"

There's a low hiss from Janus and he shuts up.

A pause.

Then Logan takes a deep breath, adjusting his glasses.

"I will admit, when you first started talking about this, I was…not so much intrigued as I was curious as to why you'd never brought it up on your own before, considering how much we've all been talking about getting better at communicating. And if it were truly just an outlet for your emotions, I don't believe anyone would be reacting as strongly as they are, myself included."

"But that is what it is."

"But you're using it to amplify your own guilt and shame," Roman breaks in softly, "and that's not good, Padre."

"What? That's not what I'm doing at all! I'm just—"

"Then why were you so hesitant to tell us?"

Well.

He's sure there's a good answer for that.

Somewhere.

He just needs to think of it!

Yeah.

Yeah…

…yeah.

…

…oh.

Oh.

Oh, no.

Distantly, he registers the soft noises of concern and the gentle touch to his face. His head moves. There's someone standing in front of him. The thing on his cheek strokes the skin gently again. He blinks. Oh. His vision is all blurry. There's a lot of movement happening. There's someone calling his name.

"Patton? Sweetie, can you hear me?"

He thinks he nods. The thing on his face cups his jaw and then slides around to the back of his head—oh, that feels nice. He likes that feeling. He tries to lean into it. There's another quiet noise and then there's another touch on his shoulder.

"Sweetie, come sit, please, come sit with us. Let's give you a cuddle, okay? Look, the twins are right here—"

He's passed to another set of hands and then his hands are trying to wipe his face because he's crying, that's why his vision is so blurry, and then Roman—it has to be Roman, it's all red—is pulling him close and it's really warm, and soft, and quiet, and—

"Shh, there you go," Roman murmurs, "just take a moment, okay?"

"Remus, budge over a bit."

"L, can you get the—"

"Yes, I've got it."

"Shh," Roman says again when Patton hiccups with the force of the sobs, "here, cry this out for me, okay? Just get it all out, that's it, you're okay…"

He doesn't have the words, not really, to figure out how to remember this, but as the feelings wash over him and the world becomes a little smaller, just for a moment, he thinks he might not need to write anything down to remember what this feels like.

General Taglist: @frxgprince@potereregina@gattonero17@iamhereforthegayshit@thefingergunsgirl@awkwardandanxiousfander@creative-lampd-liberties@djpurple3@winterswrandomness@sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes@iminyourfandom@bullet-tothefeels@full-of-roman-angst-trash  @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind@demoniccheese83@pattonsandershugs @el-does-photography @princeanxious@firefinch-ember@fandomssaremysoul@im-an-anxious-wreck@crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch@enby-ralsei@unicornssunflowersandstuff@wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv  @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams@averykedavra @a-ghostlight-for-roman @treasurechestininterweb @cricketanne @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws@cecil-but-gayer@i-am-overly-complicated@annytheseal@alias290@tranquil-space-ninja @arxticandy @mychemically-imbalanced-romance@whyiask@crows-ace @emilythezeldafan@frida0043 @ieatspinalcords @snowyfires@cyanide-violence@oonagh2@xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx@rabbitsartcorner @percy-07734@triflingassailantofmyemotions @virgil-sanders-the-gay-emo@cerulean-watermelon@puffed-up-bees@meltheromanstan@joyrose-fandomer@insanitori@mavenmush@justablah65@10paradox10@uhhh-hi-there-i-am-nervous@cutebisexualmess@bella-bugatti-frogetti-baguetti@ultrageekygirl

#dragonbabbles #fic #sanders sides #roman sanders #remus sanders #sympathetic remus #deceit sanders #sympathetic deceit #janus sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders

[i-will-physically-fight-you]

Along Came a Spider (1/3)

Title: Along Came a Spider (1/3)

Summary: Virgil has two secrets. The first secret is that he misses them. He misses Patton’s warm hugs and his soft, gooey cookies. He misses Logan and his rants about astronomy. He even misses Roman--loud, noisy prince who gets on his nerves with his bravado and flights of fancy. He should've known it wasn't ever meant to be. Now just thinking about them makes him feel like a worm on a hook–it’s like a sharp pain stabbing into his intestines that he can’t squirm away from.

The second secret? Well, it's something he's hidden from the others for a long, long time. And he'd rather put up the "Big Bad Anxiety" persona than for the others to know the truth. He knows they'll never forgive him for it and he can live with that. He has to.

Pairings: Platonic Prinixety, Background Platonic LAMP 

Word-Count: 3.4k

Warnings: Injuries, Blood Mention, Attempted Strangling (multiple times!), Panic, Non-Graphic Violence, Spiders, Mild Body Horror, Misunderstandings, BIG MISUNDERSTANDINGS, Things Are Not What They Appear to Be, Some Characters Make Some Morally Grey Decisions, Angst with a Happy Ending

  This fic is dedicated to @theeternalspace​, happy bday friend! I hope you find this fic to your liking. It takes place sometime after DWIT, so vaguely canon-adjacent up until that point. It'll be in three parts, so be on the look-out for the next two parts to this fic.

-

There’s a rat in the cell. It’s not even a cutesy one with fluffy fur and bright perky eyes, the kind that Patton would happily squeal about and the kind that’d cause Logan’s eyes  to spark with interest. Logan wouldn’t admit it but he loved rats. If given a chance, he’d rattle on for an hour about how smart the little critters were.

Virgil also liked them. He guessed it was because he could relate to them. Rats were creatures that were feared and despised by most, seen as dirty vermin that should be exterminated and kept under control. As the personification of Anxiety, it was quite easy to feel a kinship with them.

Roman, however, was a different story. He grew uncomfortable at even the mere mention.

“Pah! Dogs are much more noble creatures!” Roman said once, folding his arms against his chest in a classic princey pout.

“What about the rats in Ratatouille?” Virgil snarked back, “wouldn’t you say Remy’s dream of becoming a chef is noble?”

“Th--that’s different!” Roman threw his arms in the air, “It’s Pixar!”

But the rat in the cell isn’t a well-groomed, domesticated rat. It’s a huge, massive thing. Like maybe the size of a small cat. It’s unkempt fur brushy and bristly. It has sharp red eyes and pointy yellowed teeth. The rat tears through Virgil’s dinner with ease. He thinks maybe he should do something about the rat. After all, he hasn’t eaten in who knows how long.

He tries to do so.  The slightest inch in movement causes the rat to unleash a screech in his direction. It’s an ear-splitting sound and so Virgil stays put. For this rat is a creation of Remus. Who knows what eldritch atrocities the rat is capable of.

He has never understood Roman’s hatred of rats until this moment. He wonders if Remus has ever sicced a pack of rats on his brother. Did Roman manage to fend them off? Or did the rats overwhelm him, gnawing on his flesh and eating him alive? Of course, death is a very temporary thing in the Mindscape–but the twins’ realms of imagination make it feel anything but temporary.

God, Virgil wants to throw up just thinking about Roman being eaten alive by rats. It’s too dark even for him. That thought can’t belong to him. He’s been in Remus’s realm for weeks now. His influence must be infecting Virgil’s function, decaying it.

Virgil hopes this isn’t affecting Thomas negatively. He already fucked up once by ducking out. He refuses to allow it to happen a second time. Not when this is for the sake of the others.

The rat is still busy gnawing at the bread. It looks close to breaking its’ damn teeth on the thing. No wonder, it’s stale and hard-as-a-brick. Virgil could’ve used it as a projectile and knock out his imprisoners if it came to it. He wouldn’t. Not after the deal he’s struck with them.

Virgil shivers, pressing further into the corner of the cell he’s in. He’s curled up in an almost fetal position, desperate to conserve as much warmth as he can. Prickly goosebumps cover his skin. There’s no fierce, biting winter wind. No snow, no ice and yet it feels like a literal tundra inside the cell.

“Oooh, I’m so excited,” Remus had said, arms flaring out in a way that is too familiar, too Roman-like, “I’ve always wondered if we could die of hypothermia. Oooh, ooh! They say in the final stage of hypothermia, victims’ bodies feel unbearably warm--isn’t that fascinating?”

Well, he hasn’t reached that stage yet, so that has to be good, right? Although freezing to death isn’t that bad. Especially compared to the other things Remus has put him through these past few weeks. Things like facing a zombie apocalypse as the last survivor and playing “hide-and-go-seek” in an inescapable maze with a flesh-eating cryptid entity. So yeah, death by hypothermia? Not that bad.

He hopes Remus grows tired of using him as a plaything soon. Maybe Deceit will step in soon and demand Remus to quit it. Virgil knows he’s close to his breaking point. Close enough to where he’ll do anything if Deceit will save him. He hopes he can hold onto his resolve. If not him then for Thomas’ sake.

It’s the only hope he can cling to at this point. He’s literally Anxiety, it isn’t like he has optimism in spades. He’s not expecting to be rescued from a hole he dug himself.

Virgil hasn’t slept much these past few weeks. Not that he gets good sleep in general. His life motto is “Never Resting, Always Worrying.”

Still, even he has to succumb to sleep and face the nightmares that await him there. Lately his nightmares have been centered around Roman, Logan and Patton. Namely, their reaction to the stupid stunt he pulled.

“What are you doing?!”

“What needs to be done.”

“Virgil, please--”

“Don’t call me that. It’s Anxiety to you, got it?”

“Anxiety. I do not understand. Can we not discuss this together and work things out as a group? Based on past events, it is best--”

“We can’t. It won’t work, not this time.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’ve realized something, about how a bunch of clueless morons you guys are. You act like everything can be solved in twenty minutes like a cheesy sitcom but real life? It doesn’t work that way. And I was wrong to think it could.”

“Virgil, wait! Don’t leave--”

But he did. He left them, head held high as he walked into awaiting jaws of Remus and Deceit.

Now he’s alone in a cold, dark cell. His only company? A rat that is one second away from biting his hand off. The worst part is that it’s all his fault. He doesn’t get to feel sorry for himself. He doesn’t deserve that privilege.

He inhales shakily as he reaches to clutch onto the necklace around his neck. He’s always worn it, keeping it underneath his shirt and out of sight of the others. It’s a simple black cord with a pendant of his Stormcloud emblem hanging on it. He holds onto the pendant, rubbing his fingers across the cold metal. It grounds him, keeps him from unraveling. Ironic, considering the gifter of the necklace.

He counts silently to himself. One, two, three, four, hold breath. One, two, three, four, five--his composure breaks, a sob rattles his throat. He grips his necklace tighter. Again . One, two, three, four, hold breath. Good! Now hold your breath for seven seconds. One, two, three, dammit. He closes his eyes, his heartbeat accelerating. He can do this, he must do this. He has done this, and he will do this again. One, two, three, four--he keeps going.

Several times, he messes up again. He’s used to this--it’s kinda his thing to make mistakes. In thirty years, he’s learned to keep moving forward regardless. Even when everything inside of him screams to give up. Patton would probably put some positive spin on that. He’d pat Virgil’s shoulder and tell Virgil how proud he is of him. Logan would rattle off some beneficial statistical facts. Roman might sprout some admirable speech. Just thinking about them makes him feel like a worm on a hook–it’s like a sharp pain stabbing into his intestines that he can’t squirm away from.

He misses them. He misses Patton’s warm hugs and his soft, gooey cookies. He misses Logan and his rants about astronomy. He even misses Roman--loud, noisy prince who gets on his nerves with his bravado and flights of fancy. He never thought he’d get used to their acceptance. Get used to seeing them look at him with love, like he actually possesses worth and value. For the longest time, he waited for things to drift back to normal. Back to the insults and the shunning. All alone in his room as the others’ laughter of joy from outside taunts him.

“You can’t tell me you honestly think this whole ‘charade’ will last forever,” Deceit told him, “it’ll be less painful if you end it on your own terms, then if an...outside force ends it on their own. ”

Virgil had believed him. He still believes him, even now. It’s better for him to be the screw-up like always than for the others to know the truth. The others will never forgive him and he can live with that. He has to.

Screeeeeeech.

Virgil’s eyelids fly open, hands flying to protect his face. His immediate thought is the rat. It’s attacking him. Surely his meager prison meal isn’t enough to satiate its hunger. Except he realizes three things.

The first thing is that the rat is gone. He doesn’t know where it went. It could’ve disappeared into the shadow realm as far as he knew. The second thing is that the door to his cell is open. It’s an old creaky door with rusty hinges because of course it is. Remus wouldn’t have it any other way.

The third thing he notices is Roman.

At least, he thinks it’s Roman. Bright light from the outside pools into the cell, causing a stinging sensation in his eyes. They need time to adjust to the change in light. Still, he forces himself to squint up at the silhouette in the doorway. Its’ broad, imposing, larger-than-life stature is unmistakably Roman

All of Virgil’s fears and what-ifs melt away at the sight of it. Because Roman is here. He’s here and somehow, in some way, Roman would make things right again.  A sliver of hope runs him. Weak and thin, but still present. He shouldn’t be disarmed so easily. It has to be from exhaustion, he thinks.

The hope doesn’t live long. A second dark figure appears behind the first, shattering the illusion. Remus’ wide-eyed grin meets his slackening pale face.

“Viiiirgil! I have a boy toy for you!” He crows, “I hope you’re into humping nearly-dead corpses.”

Unceremoniously he punts the first figure into the cell.  Virgil hardly has time to react before the cell door shuts with a loud clang. He rushes to the still form on the ground as an ocean of panic swells up inside of him.

Is Remus messing with him? This can’t possibly be Roman lying face-down on the ground. Roman whose complexion is whiter than his uniform. It can’t be. It has to be a construct, something Remus created to fuck with him. Both figuratively and literally, knowing Remus. God, he does not need that last image in his head right now. He tries to ignore it, to attach himself to any other drifting semi-coherent thought than that one.

Help. Construct or not, Virgil has to help this Roman. He’d do anything to help the Core Sides. Something Remus and Deceit know too well. He wouldn’t doubt if they are watching from a secret camera. They’re probably stuffing their faces with greasy popcorn and cackling at him at this very moment.

Virgil rolls him onto his back. Brown bangs drenched with sweat hang down in the Prince’s face. They barely cover the bruise forming around his right eye. Little cuts nick the sides of his cheeks, likely from a knife or a sword. The angry red slashes also decorate his arms and legs, fabric of his uniform torn along with it. Roman’s white tunic has a high collar but even it can’t hide the ring of green-black forming around his neck. Did Remus try strangling him to death?

He can hardly focus on that however. His eyes drift further down the prince’s tunic. He realizes with a start that it’s a lot more red than it should be. The red isn’t from Roman’s sash. He lifts the tunic away, trying to ignore how it’s almost pasted to the wound. The wound, well. It’s bad. He curses, throwing off his jacket without a second thought. He presses it against the wound, trying desperately to stop the blood wound. God, please don’t let this be his Roman. Please let this be some twisted, cruel prank by Remus. Please, please, please.

“Roman, wake up!” Virgil says. Silence. “Princey, I--I swear I’m going to steal your Disney VHS Collection if you don’t wake up right now.”

It’s such a weak attempt at a threat, but Roman’s eyelids flutter open at it. His eyes are unfocused, looking around in a bewildered way before settling onto Virgil. His mouth forms a small ‘O’. His eyes so wide and glistening, alit with a dazed wonder.

“Virgil,” Roman says, managing a weak grin, “You’re alive.”

Virgil’s heart lodges in his throat because he knows without a doubt it’s Roman. His stupid heroic, obstinate, foolhardy idiot of a prince. No way Remus could perfect such a carbon copy, right down to the barest of micro expressions.

“What are you doing here? They promised they wouldn’t hurt you and the others--” Virgil shuts his mouth, horror seizing him at his own words.

Deception and Intrusive Thoughts. Why had he ever trusted in their words? Remus who lives his existence always doing and never thinking.  Or in Deceit, whose very name defines his character? The answer is very simple, of course. It is always the answer to all of his problems; Virgil had let his irrational fears get the best of him.

Meanwhile Roman’s grin grows wider, gleeful even.

“Hah,” He manages before descending into a coughing fit, “K-knew you weren’t the bad guy.”

“How’d you...how’d you know I wasn’t the bad guy?”

“I couldn’t make the same mistake twice.” Roman stares at him. His eyes hold such a firm, unyielding conviction that Virgil almost wants to turn away. He doesn’t.

Okay, yeah it hurt a lot back then. Back when Roman flung barrages of insults in Virgil’s direction. As Creativity, Roman knew how to craft insults that hurt worse than any sting of the sword. Even though Virgil has long since forgiven him, it still hurts at times. Especially when the two fall back into their old ways of bickering and mean taunts. It’s far too easy for them to do that than to play nice.

Still, Virgil knows even then he deserved them. He’d given Roman no reason to trust him. Sure being the bad guy had been an act but even pretending can hurt. He knows this better than anyone. He wants to argue Roman and the others made a mistake believing Virgil could be anything more than the bad guy. Especially once they knew what he’d been hiding from them.

Virgil swallows, the lump in his throat refusing to dissipate.

“I--I’m sorry,” He says, the words rushing out of him, “I was an idiot, I panicked--”

“Shh,” Roman hushes, his hand clasping on top of Virgil’s. He cranes his neck upwards, doing his best to maintain eye-contact with Virgil, “Don’t apologize, my stormy knight. The blame is--is all on me, I’m afraid.”

“What?”

Roman gives him an indecipherable, anguished look.

“It’s all my fault. I failed you, I’m sorry, I should’ve been able to--”

“What are you sorry for?” Virgil presses.

“To..save you. What kind of,” Roman coughs again, “prince am I if I can’t save my loved ones?”

Oh... Ohhh . Remus and Deceit didn’t capture Roman? But that would mean...Roman went after him. That shouldn’t be as big of a surprise to Virgil (considering Roman’s heroics) but it is. Did Patton and Logan even know what Roman did? Or did he trudge in without a plan, armed with only his goal in mind?

“You idiot,” Virgil hisses, and immediately regrets his word choice when Roman flinches at it. Virgil presses down on the wound harder, “Roman, I am not worth the trouble--”

“Virgil,” Roman interrupts, grasping his hands as tightly as he can, “I’d die a thousand deaths if it meant seeing you safe and sound.”

Roman’s declaration takes him off guard. It’s not necessarily the words but the glint in the other’s eyes. It’s not a case of Roman being facetious and overly dramatic. Virgil knows he means them. He knows and it scares the hell out of him.

He changes the topic abruptly, “Remus did he--”

“It’s not the first time my wretched brother has bested me,” Roman said, his mouth forming a thin, tight line, “I’ll be--be fine--”

Roman coughs and coughs, his whole body trembling with exertion. Virgil watches helplessly. Red speckles fall from his mouth. Roman sags, his grip on Virgil’s hand loosening.

“Like hell you’re fine!” Virgil hisses, “Roman, damn you, stay with me!”

Roman smiles at him. He looks like he wants to say more, but his eyes close shut and his hand falls away from Virgil’s.

“No, no, wake up! Wake up!” Virgil demands, shaking the prince to no avail. The only thing that keeps Virgil from completely breaking down is the faint yet stable heartbeat coming from Roman.

Your fault. Your fault. Your fault.

The mantra runs through his head to the rapid beat of his heart. This wasn’t supposed to happen. But Virgil can see now that his actions had been selfish and caused harm rather than good. Roman is hurt. He has to do something to make this right. Even if it means doing the one thing that drove him down here in the first place.

Virgil’s the type to overthink things to the point of insanity. Not this time. With anger swelling in his veins, Virgil grabs hold of his necklace and rips it off. As he stares down at its broken clasp, light ripples through his body.

He forgets about the pain; it’s always worse the longer he suppresses it without any release. The pain hits him like a steamroller, flattening him down to the ground in an instant. It’s prickly and piercing like needles.

He bites back a cry, sharp fangs digging into his gums. His face burns and he reaches for it—wanting to claw it off when everything goes dark. He jerks his hands away as knives dig at his back, tearing apart flesh. No, not knives. Long, spindly black limbs sprout from his back, stretching and elongating. They twitch and flail of their own volition, sending another crashing wave of pain his way.

He fights against it, growling as he sits up. His vision clears, eight pairs of eyes blinking away bright white spots. He takes a shaky breath, hunching in on himself. It’s been so long since he’s taken this form. Too long.

Virgil tries to ignore how his lungs breathe in air more freely, how he is able to fully stretch out his spindly limbs rather than feel them writhe beneath his skin, how his vision is brighter, more clearer.

He looks down at Roman, scowling. He doesn’t have the time to dwell on it. He reaches out for Roman’s prone body–

ItSy BiTsY LiTtlE PriNce, WOulD loOk aLl niCe wrAppEd uP iN A WeB?

Virgil freezes, hands curling into fists. “NO!” He growls, “NEVER!”

He knows it’s one of Remus’ wild intrusive thoughts, probably sent to torment him specifically. It does not have a physical form, but he can still sense its presence hovering over them.

ItSy BiTsy liTtlE PrinCe, sPit on hiM and mAke hiM aCiD?

Virgil’s hands pull at his hair as he tries to block out the intrusive images. But he can’t do that. If...if what Logan had said is true, it only gives it more power. He has to continue on in spite of the Intrusive Thought. He can’t let himself get distracted for Roman’s sake. He grits his teeth, letting go of his hair as his hands fall to his sides.

itSY BiTSy PrINce, noTHiNG leFt bUt sAsH anD tUNic?

Virgil ignores it, carefully gathering Roman into his arms. He draws himself to his full height, his legs dangling several feet in the air, on spindly spider limbs. His head almost hits the ceiling of the small, cramped cell. He looks down at the rusty cell door, bares his fangs and...vomits acid onto it. There is no other pleasant way to go about it. The acid turns the padlock into nothing within seconds. He taps a foreleg against the cell door and it screeeeches open.

“Itsy bitsy spider comes out the waterspout.” Virgil mutters sardonically, skittering as fast as his spider limbs can take him. The intrusive thought is silent. Perhaps it has run away to warn Remus. Virgil does not care.

In Remus’ realm of the Imagination, there is very little rhyme or reason to its rules. The few rules it has are nonsensical--like that of a twisted grotesque Wonderland. But there is one thing and that is unlike Roman, Remus prefers stories where the bad guys win.

Lucky for Virgil, he just so happens to be a bad guy.

#thomas sanders #sanders sides #virgil sanders #roman sanders #remus sanders #prinxiety #kat writes

[krowfics]

But you’re still a kid that grew

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Plot: Passion was small and Passion was orange. So he couldn't be. (or why there's two blue sides)

Words: 3257

Notes: Logan angst, canon universe, all the other sides are technically unsympathetic ig - especially Patton and Remus, sad and unresolved ending. this fic’s ending overlaps with WTIT.

This might be considered a character study? idk i wrote this in a hyper fixated haze

AO3

~~~

He was small and he was orange.

Dressed head to toe, orange tee shirt, orange cargo shorts, orange socks and orange shoes. 

He was learning about cheetahs. They're the fastest animal in the world, they can reach speeds up to 70 miles per hour! He didn't know what that meant but it sounded fast. 

He stared at the TV screen with rapt attention, meanwhile Thomas played with a stuffed fox from Fox and the Hound and a plastic toy of Peter Pan (from Peter Pan.) glancing up at the screen occasionally. Thomas’ mom had decided to put on an educational show instead of Disney Channel, which Thomas hadn’t minded but he had been ecstatic about.

He really, really wanted to know how fast 70 miles per hour is.

So Thomas twisted around to look at his mom, who was reading a book on the couch with her feet tucked underneath her, and he asked.

"Hmm, as fast as a car." She answered.

That's super fast for an animal, he knew Thomas couldn't run that fast, he didn't even think a dog could run that fast.

"Wow, that's super fast." Thomas said.

"Sure is, Bud." His mom replied with a smile.

He learned more, needed to learn more. He had Thomas switch the channel to documentaries in between his Disney shows, had him ask his mom and dad every question under the sun, squinted at books over Thomas' shoulders as they were both figuring out how to read, even though neither really could yet.

Some adults had reading glasses to make them read better, maybe that would make him read better.

It helped, he thinks, he didn't think anything was wrong with his vision before but now he never wanted to take his glasses off.

He was bigger, he was orange, and he wanted to know everything.

Passion. 

Thomas' mom had called Thomas passionate once, maybe he was Passion.

They went to school, and kindergarten was boring. All they did was color! The first grade was better, but there was still far too much coloring of cartoon characters for Passion’s taste. 

Creativity liked it. So Passion tried not to complain. He didn't really talk to the Others much anyway. 

He liked talking to Creativity, both of them, but they each fell off into their own tangents that got so far from where Passion hand started, that he kind of wished he didn’t talk at all.

He had nothing to do with Morality or Fears or even Creativity, really, the good or the bad, he just wanted to learn and he wanted Thomas to learn.

Lies was annoying because he just wanted to get out of work, and Thomas would listen to him sometimes, which wasn't fair. But sometimes Morality would get in Lies’ way and they'd yell a bunch until Thomas gave into Morality, which was better but it was still annoying. When they yelled he wanted to scream.

It was all frustrating. The Creativities’ imagination was nice until it became completely fake, Lies made Thomas say things that were completely fake, Fears would make up stuff to make Thomas upset which was usually completely fake and Morality would repeat the adults dumb rules which seemed to be completely fake!

It was frustrating, fakeness was frustrating, Passion only cared about real things. Weird plants and animals and bugs and rock formations and spaceships and dinosaurs.

He did not care about Disney princes and dragons and talking animals.

Morality told him he needed to share Thomas. But it wasn't fair, none of it was fair, how could it be fair when what everyone else wanted was completely fake?

He hated the fakeness, it was confusing, it was so hard to tell when Thomas was being lied to. He used to think he could fly because he saw it on TV - not the channels that Passion wanted to watch - and he jumped off his bed and bruised his knee super badly. 

Thomas cried for his knee and Passion cried because it wasn't real. It wasn't! They lied to him!

Passion cried more often than not, he yelled more often then he spoke. Thomas wouldn't listen to him, Thomas used to listen to him, didn't he?

Thomas didn't switch the channel to documentaries anymore and he didn't pay attention to his teacher, even when he really tried, he'd always be more focused on sitting still which made it almost impossible for Passion to pay attention, Thomas usually gave up, which made it even harder.

It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair!

He barely talked to the Others before but now he almost never did. Because now he couldn't stop himself from screaming or crying or getting really angry and breaking something in the imagination which would always make everyone upset with him but they'd never listen anyway!

He hated this. He felt so pathetic. He didn't want to cry all the time, he just wanted to learn. He wanted Thomas to learn.

Thomas got a new teacher when he started second grade, and he was nice.

Mr. Teagan was calm, always. He wore glasses and a tie, which must mean he's smart. He sounded smart, he didn't get mad at Thomas for moving in his seat or fidgeting with his hands, he even encouraged him to fiddle with a squishy rubber toy when Thomas' tapping got too loud for the rest of the class.

He never got frustrated when Thomas asked questions, he'd teach him how to understand the more complex math equations the rest of the class was learning. Passion really liked math and Thomas really liked math.

Thomas wasn't really listening to Passion but he was listening to his teacher. Maybe if Passion was calmer, they would listen to him.

They didn't. They ignored him as always, Bad Creativity called him a crybaby and that set Morality off, which Passion would have appreciated had Morality not also been ignoring him.

"Why'd you even bother to show up?" Good Creativity said as Morality calmed down and Bad Creativity continued to giggle.

"Be nice." Morality said plaintively.

"No, no, I mean, you never come here or talk to us, what do you want?" he didn't sound upset, just confused, but it didn't make the hurt go away because Passion was doing what he wanted already and they weren't listening.

"To talk about imaginary numbers." He said carefully, because imaginary numbers were so cool, even though he didn't really understand anything about them at all, but they sounded cool. They were fake but couldn't be frustrating-fake, because they were still math and math made them real!

"Ugh, Thomas will learn math in school." Good creativity whined.

Passion glanced to Morality, who only nodded, "Thomas is gonna watch Beauty and the Beast, he can't do math right now."

He's watching that again? Could it not be Lion King or Jungle Book, one that made him actually want to learn about animals?

"That's not fair." Passion said.

"He does plenty of math in school." Good Creativity said.

"But I want him to do it now!"

"We can't always get what we want." Morality said.

"Life is fair, you know." Lies said sarcastically from his place on the couch, he was hardly paying attention to the situation.

Morality liked Mr. Teagan, and Passion was being calm like Mr. Teagan, why wasn't it working? What was he doing wrong?

Fears nodded, looking deeply uncomfortable with the tenseness in the room, "You don't have to get upset over math."

"It's not fair." He yelled, and his voice cracked and his vision was blurry even though he was wearing his glasses.

Bad Creativity made a sharp laughing noise, “Crybaby!" he said, pointing, and he was completely right.

"You aren't being very nice." Morality said, and when Passion looked he saw that Morality was not looking at Bad Creativity, he was looking right at Passion.

He knew what that meant, Morality also said that Lies and Bad Creativity weren't very nice and then those 'weren't very nice's turned into 'not nice at all's. And Morality made sure that Thomas almost never listened to Sides who were not nice at all.

What if Thomas never listened to him again?

Passion choked on a sob. He needed to apologize, he needed to, but he couldn't get a word out with Morality staring him down like Thomas' mom or dad did when he got in trouble, Good Creativity stood right behind him, looking smug.

Passion turned around and ran out the room, a nasally laugh came from behind him, Bad Creativity, he assumed.

He hid his room and he cried. It felt like hours, or minutes, or days. He cried until his eyes were sore and his throat was scratchy and his nose was stuffed.

Something was wrong with him.

There had to be a reason no one listened to him, there had to be a reason no one liked him.

He stayed away after that, he couldn't risk it. He needed to stay calm like Mr. Teagan but he couldn't when no one was listening anyway. He’d get too frustrated, too overwhelmed. A bitter part of him thought it’d be better to not feel at all, if the bad emotions were so unavoidable and were making him ruin everything. 

They wouldn't listen to him, no matter what he did, would they? They've already decided he was too passionate to deal with.

He helped Thomas with homework when he needed, Morality made Thomas do his homework because it was Wrong not to, but he didn't really stick around for the process. So when Thomas would get stuck, Passion would show up to help. 

He didn't make Thomas learn outside of school though, he stopped begging for him to change the channel to a documentary when Morality wanted to watch a cartoon, he bit his tongue every single time he played pretend with Good Creativity.

Passion was able to learn still, he didn’t think any of the others could completely stop him if they tried. It was much harder, but he could consume information that Thomas learned subconsciously. It wasn't nearly as good as Thomas learning outright, but it was better than nothing and Passion would take all he could get.

Thomas' third grade teacher was not nearly as patient as Mr. Teagan, which means that Thomas didn't like her which means he had a much harder time paying attention. 

Morality stayed with him a lot, making him pay attention as it was Wrong not to pay attention to adults. He made him do his homework and sat there through his frustration so he'd actually finish as it was wrong not to hand it in finished the next day, he made Thomas do everything he was told, even as Lies hissed and spat in the Mindscape to get his way, Morality didn't even care that he was making Thomas miserable. Maybe he didn’t notice.

He wouldn't listen to what Passion had to say about it though.

Passion was a crybaby, Passion was too emotional, Passion wasn't very nice.

Passion was small and Passion was orange.

So he couldn't be.

They had learned basic color theory long ago. Good Creativity loved it because it made everything pretty and hated it because it was rules and neither creativity ever wanted to put rules on art, other than the obvious Morality given ones. The ones that said it wasn't nice at all to draw Thomas killing his brother, something Good Creativity agreed with and bad creativity did not.

Color theory said that blue was the opposite of orange.

Maybe that's why Morality didn't like him. Morality was blue.

Blue comes in different shades.

One day, as Thomas was doing his homework, he felt a familiar pull. A feeling he would often ignore because Morality seemed to always be there. 

Be calm

He appeared, almost void of color, shirt as black as his glasses, plain blue jeans, black shoes. 

A tie, just like Thomas' second grade teacher always wore, except dark blue.

He was not small and he was not orange.

"Hello?" Thomas said, just behind him was Morality, who was staring.

Both looked stressed, hair messed up from running their hands through it and Thomas's eyes were rimmed red, almost crying from frustration.

Stay calm.

"What seems to be the problem Thomas?"

"Who..?" Thomas asked tiredly, glancing to Morality.

"I'm not sure, kiddo. Are you new?"

The only thing differentiating the sides visually were their clothes and their colors.

Without orange, Morality didn't recognize him.

Good.

"I am Thomas' Logic."

"Oh, goodness!" Morality smiled brightly, when was the last time he smiled at him like that? "It's been so long since we've gotten a new side! I’m Morality, It's nice to meet you."

Stay calm.

"You as well, now what is the issue?"

Thomas gestured to the paper on his desk and Logic learned over his shoulder to see the equation. He thought Thomas liked math?

It was division, a bit on the complicated side but not terribly so. 

"Thomas, do you understand that division is just the opposite of multiplication?"

"Mrs. Drache keeps saying so, but…"

So he didn't understand.

"All that means is you can reverse this." He summoned up a pen and paper and wrote the equation down where Thomas could see.

And the he wrote the same numbers directly under it but swapped the division sign for an equal sign and the original equals sign for multiplication.

"Are you more confident in your times tables, Thomas?" he asked.

Thomas nodded, paused, and then nodded again. He looked tired. "Yeah um, I did them quicker than most of the class last week. I only got 3 wrong."

"Good." Logic said, "what times 7 is 49?"

Thomas stared for a moment, "5 times 7 is 35."

"Yes."

"and 6 times 7 is 42."

"it is."

Thomas pressed his lips together and then wrote 7 down on his homework.

Thomas listened to him. He actually listened to him and he learned.

Stay calm.

"Good job, Thomas."

Thomas beamed and everything was worth it.

Morality made a high pitch noise, startling Logic, he forgot he was there.

But there Morality was, clapping and smiling, smiling at Thomas and Logic.

"I knew you could do it, kiddo!" 

Thomas smiled and returned to his homework, both sides there for help and encouragement.

Morality stopped showing up so much for homework, he let Logic help him pay attention in class, he started letting Thomas get away with things that made him happy. At some point academics were completely left up to Logic.

Morality trusted Logic. Morality liked Logic.

Stay calm.

Logic said nothing as Thomas changed career paths, Morality wanted him to be happy and Creativity wanted him to perform. Logic could handle his amount of attention diminishing, Thomas’ happiness was more important. 

Stay calm.

He helped Thomas through each moral conundrum and anxiety attack, even if he had to wade through the others' arguments to do so. It’d be easier if they didn’t have to work through their emotions before they actually listened to him but, regardless, they always did eventually.

Stay calm.

He had made himself heard, he didn't need emotions anymore, he never needed them in the first place. He needed Thomas to be healthy and happy, even if that meant Logic didn't always get his way. He was fine.

Stay calm.

Deceit and Dark Creativity's increased presence was annoying but manageable. Thomas hadn't remembered either, which made sense. 

Deceit had kept himself hidden from Thomas before his scales started appearing - a younger Thomas taking the lying snake in the garden of Eden a bit too seriously, Logic suspects - and Logic was fairly certain that Thomas had never even met Remus as a child.

Thomas was barely interested in what Logic had to say as is, splitting his attention between three other sides who just boiled down to differing emotions. Janus and Remus complicated things, they kept getting in the way.

All sides deserved to be listened to, a part of Logic is sure of it, but with all of them demanded it only for themselves, he had to fight to.

Morality at least didn't like them fighting, Creativity would always listen to Morality and thus stayed in good graces, and Anxiety held enough sympathy from Patton that he was always able to be listened to too.

No one really liked Logic, he could tell. They might claim they like Logan, they probably don't even think they're lying about it. But they wouldn't like him if he couldn't stay calm.

Stay calm.

He was trying to stay calm.

He was finally being listened to, even if it seemed to be less and less each day, he was letting Thomas take breaks, he was letting Thomas stay happy even as the anxiety of cleaning was getting to him.

Why did Remus have to taunt him today of all days? The day when Thomas actually had some urge to make a list of tasks, to finally clean his living space so he could be more productive. 

Stay calm.

Thomas was busy dancing, quite literally dancing always the intrusive thoughts.

Logic was calm, he would stay calm.

He breathed a calculated breath and turned to Remus, who was giggling in that obnoxious way he does. Even after all these years, even as they got older, that laugh never really did change.

Logic was speaking calmly, he was being nice, he was barely showing any frustration even as Remus made it clear he was not listening.

Thomas listened to him though, he had listened today, and the only times he stopped today was when Remus got in the way.

Stay. Calm.

He needed to get through to Remus. He needed to. He needed to be listened to, he needed Thomas to listen. He barely listened as is, he can't let it get as bad as it was back then, back when no one listened no matter what. 

"Remus."

he wasn't listening. Thomas wouldn't listen because Remus wouldn't listen. Logic needed him to listen.

Remus summoned a book literally titled, 'Ignoring Dummies for Dummies' 

"Remus."

The haunting taunt of 'crybaby' rang in his ears. It was extremely frustrating, he couldn't get frustrated - he had to stay calm.

Logic could barely breathe.

Remus wouldn't listen.

Stay calm

Stay calm

STAY CALM

"Stop ignoring me!"

That wasn't very calm.

Remus was talking, smug as Logan had ever seen him and not even remotely surprised, but the words barely registered. 

And then Remus was gone, and Thomas was on the phone with Nico.

Was that on purpose? Did… Did Remus know?

Stay calm.

He was not orange.

He wasn't.

Everything worked out, except it didn't because Thomas had abandoned his schedule and his apartment didn't get cleaned, but that was okay. It had to be okay. 

Thomas barely seemed to listened to Logic anymore anyway, he shouldn’t have gotten his hopes up. Thomas listened when it was absolutely necessary and that was enough. It had to be. Logic had to stay calm. He had to hold together each piece of him that shattered and broke off when he was ignored, he couldn't afford to be pushed to emotions by Remus, or anyone, especially not when Thomas is there.

Stay calm.

He was not a crybaby.

Stay calm.

He was not Passion.

Stay calm.

He was not orange.

He wished there was nothing of Passion left, nothing left to feel anything, but as he curled up in his room to hide, he felt small.

~~~

tags~ @flowercrownsandtrauma

#sanders sides fic #logan sanders #logan sanders angst #tss logan #angst #orange side #sad ending #unresolved ending #thekrowiswriting

[glacierruler]

Patton Sanders

Just felt like sharing my very nuanced opinions about a certain side. He's not my favorite, but I see a lot of myself in him. Which is both a good and bad thing. Be very warned this is heavily based off of how I act vs. how I've seen him act in canon, but I'm not going to bring up specific in canon moments. It's just how I remember him.

First things first, I adore Patton, but he's trying to juggle too much. He's trying to control his emotions, be the example Thomas is to lead by, be the 'dad' persona, and keep everything in check. Because of this, Patton is manipulative, but I don't think he means to be. I think, most of his manipulation, honestly comes from a place of, things need to be this way morally, if they aren't then Thomas might be a bad person, and if that's the case I've failed him. What am I supposed to do them? Which is a huge weight for any of the sides to carry. Feeling as if though they failed him because they couldn't lead him down the correct path. But what Patton doesn't seem to get, is that he's not the only one making those judgements on morals. All of the sides have their own views on what's a priority and what's moral or immoral. I think in the redux, Patton finally realized that(to an extent, idk if it's an in depth revelation yet), because he saw that he was hurting Thomas. But in seeing that, he and the others ended up hurting Roman, who had looked to Patton for the more moral side of things, because he had thought that only Patton could make the call on that. Because of the sway morality has on the princely side, who's supposed to be doing his best to always do the moral thing, Roman ended up getting really hurt because of this. Also Patton's silence in the end was telling for how his views had changed and he wasn't sure of his stance on anything or anyone anymore, including Roman. Everything was just flipped upside down and shattered for him. Because he had been basing his morality off of his feelings. The feelings he had been trying to juggle, repress, and hide from the others. Yes he had talked to the others about his feelings and repressing and hiding them. But that doesn't mean he's stopped, it's hard to stop a habit that's been so ingrained into your head that no one knew about until recently. And this repression is because he has been raised to view these negative emotions as 'bad' and 'evil' so how could the others like anything about him that isn't perfect and good? And in turn, if Thomas isn't perfect and good, then that's Patton's fault. And on top of that, he's trying to be the dad persona to all of us, someone who's happy and loving. Someone you can always look up to and rely on. He's trying to be all of that, do all of that, and he can't. He's putting too much on his plate, and hurting those closest to him because of that, and he's only just grasped that he's been hurting Thomas because of Janus.

And because of all this, I can't hate him. As someone who was raised in a Christian household, there's a lot of expectations to be perfect. Because I was always 'happy' at school, I was known as the happy friend, where nothing could go wrong with me. I didn't have emotions other than happy. Teachers always looked at me for my good behavior, which only made my need to be seen as perfect worse. Because if I wasn't perfect, who was I? And it ended up with me hurting others, and I never meant to, it just sort of happened. It took my whole world being shattered in middle school for me to start seeing that maybe that wasn't the way to live. That much pressure isn't good for anyone. And it's still a struggle for me, and I'm seeing Patton, someone who is so much like the old me, struggling to learn that for himself. And I can't help but try and cheer him on his journey. Yes he's messed up, and owes a lot of sides a lot of apologies, I am not denying that. But in order for him to try his best to not repeat the behavior, he has to figure out the best way to stop doing it. Which is hard, it's one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. And I wish I had had someone who was going through the same thing as me when I was younger, to be able to help me pick up the pieces. So because of all this, I can't hate him. And I hope he's able to figure out how to love himself, flaws and all, so he can start loving others for their flaws too.

#patton sanders criticism #ts patton criticism #patton criticism #patton #patton sanders #sanders sides #ts patton #tss patton #glacier rambles

[citadel-of-paper-birds]

"Secrets, secrets are no fun..."

I've been reading a lot of ff lately about Pride!Roman, and I honestly can't help but feel like there's so much that could be explored here. If you want some messy au headcanons, read below!

The concept of Roman "falling" to the dark side is as fascinating to me as the idea of Roman re-fusing with Remus. I like the idea that Roman would try to hide that he's falling from the others, and it's his own pride keeping him from asking for help or talking about how he's feeling with the others too.

I’ve come to a conclusion: being C!Thomas’s ego while also being his creativity must be really hard. The way I think about it, ego is a necessary trait for any individual. Creativity is too, but it’s actually not nearly as essential as the ego. Now where Thomas is concerned I have a whole mini dissertation regarding how Thomas’s ego and creativity ended up all tangled together, but it boils down to one major point. Thomas, as an artist, conflates his ego with his art because the degree to which he values his art makes it a point of pride for him, and therefore makes him more sensitive to others criticizing it. 

Without going too much into all that (for this post, anyway) let’s talk about why ego being a more essential function than creativity is important. I think the best way to explain is to give an alternate example. If we look at Logan for example, and if we subscribe to the idea that Logan is not just Thomas’s logic but also his curiosity we can see that there’s a clear divide between a primary function (logic) and a secondary function (curiosity). If Logan were to suddenly reverse which function he paid primary attention to then Thomas’s mindscape would be a mess. Curiosity in the driver’s seat with logic riding in the back? Unlikely to work out well.

But in a way, that’s exactly what Roman is doing and I think it might be caused by multiple factors. I think Roman’s main function is supposed to be ego, not creativity. Creativity is needed for every individual but not every individual is a creative person. Someone different may have their ego connected with their curiosity/drive to learn, while others might combine their ego with their empathy - it would most likely depend on what sub-function feeds that individual’s ego. The secondary function is meant to act as a support for the primary function (Logic & curiosity, morality & emotions/empathy, fight or flight & anxiety, self preservation & deceit, “dark” creativity & intrusive thoughts). 

Roman is treating creativity like it’s the primary function, and there are a couple main reasons this could be. One is that because Roman was split from the original creativity, who may have also encompassed the ego, he was very confused after being yanked in half and simply didn’t realize he had obtained the ego until later (and if you didn’t notice it, can it really be that important?). Another is that ego is often associated with pride, and pride is not considered a “good” thing to have. Most people have a very negative connotation of pride. You say someone’s a “proud” person and it means they’re stubborn, you say someone is prideful and it means they’re arrogant. 

Patton, our morality, is clearly put on a pedestal by Roman as seen in the most recent videos, and Roman feels like he knows that Patton would disapprove if he were to show his more egotistical side. The thing is, ego is just how a person perceives themselves when you put it in simple terms. Ego at its healthiest is a sense of self-respect. Go too far in one direction and yes, you’ll get arrogance. My concern lies in going too far the other direction, because in an effort to be “good” for Patton and the others, Roman is starving his ego instead, which can cause major self confidence issues going forward.

Honestly, I think maybe a cool option would be if Roman could somehow give a large portion of his hand in creativity to Remus. I talked before in my other post about how sometimes it feels like Remus doesn’t have a proper “helpful” function for Thomas and that could be due to only being half a side. When Roman and Remus split it seems like the split may have been uneven, and in fact the dark creativity be sequestered to one person might be what’s causing the intrusive thoughts - they might very well be Remus’s, not Thomas’s.

Giving Remus a larger portion of creativity from Roman would mean that his ideas wouldn’t always be unusable, gross, or illegal. He might be able to actually help Roman brainstorm without being distracted by the constant chatter in his own head! Likewise, having less creative function would make it easier for Roman to focus on being Thomas’s ego and working on what’s best for Thomas’s self-respect and self-image. It might also make sense that with responsibilities shifting, perhaps intrusive thoughts could be co-handled by Remus and Virgil both. Functions working together just seems like it would be more efficient.

This is already long so let me add a few more off-the-cuff things to my headcanons/aus list:

Virgil’s main function is fight or flight, not anxiety. Anxiety was just the most “noticeable” thing about him, and so the other functions (and Thomas) labeled him the best way they knew how at the time. They never started calling him fight or flight because they had already been calling him anxiety for so long, and because it doesn’t have the same ring to it. The same goes for Janus with his primary trait being self preservation and secondary being deceit. 

In this particular au where I’m making it canon that Roman’s main trait is ego and not creativity, when all the responsibilities shift it changes Remus’s functions from dark creativity & intrusive thoughts to ingenuity & resilience. No particular reason, I just want nice things for Remus. 

Anyway, what if a dark side is just a demonized side? Which is why when Roman becomes ego or pride for a lot of people he becomes “dark.” It’s a perception thing.

#art #citadelart #citadelspeaks #roman sanders #tss #sanders sides #tss roman #ts roman #sanders sides fanart #roman sanders fanart

[tssidesfics]

Credit to @wisecolorthing for helping me come up with this nightmare crack fic. I can't entirely remember how we started talking about it but the conversation wandered to Remus in a Spencer's and this was born. It is pure crack. Completely ludicrous and ridiculous while also being completely in-character because we're talking about Remus, here.

*

God should have skipped the flood and just unleashed Remus on the world a few thousand years early.

Then again, humanity might never have recovered at that point, so what do I know?

Welcome to my little circle of hell, everybody. Yes, you are all correct that my relationship with the others can be best surmised with the "this house is a fucking nightmare" vine, but you don't get any points for it because it's not hard to figure out. I subsist off coffee, spite, and sarcasm (but differently from Janus, who subsists off wine, spite, and sarcasm) and exist solely to, in Remus' words, "vibrate like an overripe chihuahua on meth and five espressos with a dildo turned on up its ass"--AKA I am an anxious mess when I'm not spiraling ever-deeper into the bowels of worst-case scenario-ism. I live in a very weird gay man's head with my roommates, some of which (Logan) feign sanity 80% of the time and the other 20% conduct deranged experiments on furniture, food, and sometimes people like he's the last mad scientist left and has to preserve his culture. Some of them are actually (mostly) sane, like Patton (although we have to affectionately--and in Rage's case, literally, but they have a complicated relationship--beat on him to make him start crying when he needs to, so all things are relative). Some are just plain weird, like Roman (seriously, he's not even a type of crazy I can qualify, he's just unhinged). Some delight in feigned psychopathy (Janus). Some really need anger management therapy (do I seriously need to clarify?...actually, yeah, Logan could use some too). And some, AKA the problem child of this fever dream, defy description, but a DSM-5 edition bursts into flames every time they get a very specific little lopsided smile on their face--the one that slowly dawns like panels of light until it's blinding and suddenly nauseating to look at. That feeling is always proceeded by destruction of property. Always.

And of course Janus and Rage are gleeful enablers. Is it any wonder why I yeeted myself off the first exit ramp out of that 24/7 Mardi Gras festival?

In case it was not made shockingly apparent by literally everything about me, hi, I'm Virgil. Kill me.

My Nightmare #347 began with Patton yanking himself out of Thomas' head into the passenger side car-seat with a giddy smile on his face. "Hi, Thomas!"

Thomas screamed and jumped so hard he swerved. I neglected to appear to him physically--given I didn't want to make matters worse--but I did start fluently cussing and climbed the wall.

"Patton!" Thomas righted to the car as a cacophony of honks chastised him. "Hi, buddy. Next time, not in the middle of traffic!"

"Oop. Sorry, Thomas." At least Patton was appropriately contrite. I didn't often consider him an asshole--"cinnamon roll" is so apt he literally turns into a cinnamon roll sometimes--but today, I could make an exception. "I was wondering if we could all hang out with you at the mall today."

"Pat, it's hard enough with you guys providing running commentary on my every social interaction in my head," Thomas pointed out. "I'd like to just enjoy seeing Joan again while they're in town and I will have to corral at least five of you if I let you out."

"But Thomas..." Patton whined, bouncing frustratingly in his seat. "The Mindscape is boring!"

"You can bake an endless amount of cookies and turn it into whatever you want. I literally don't see how it could ever become boring."

"Logan won't let us change it from your living room."

Thomas sighed. "What are the chances I can convince Logan to lighten up a little?"

I snorted so loud Thomas heard it.

"Thank you for your contribution, Virgil." Thomas rolled his eyes. "If I let the rest of them out, do you promise you won't let them get into any trouble?"

I squawked. "You're expecting Patton to control the others? Are you insane? Patton couldn't control a drowsy teddy bear!"

Patton popped back into the Mindscape to turn hurt eyes on me. I crossed my arms. "No," I said. "I stand by what I said. Your backbone is made of silly putty."

"All right, Virgil," Thomas interjected before Patton could crank up the Guilt Trip'O'Meter as high as it would go. "You raise a good point. Why don't I leave you in charge?"

"I would rather crawl into a hot and rot, thanks."

"C'mon, I can feel how stir-crazy you're all getting. It's making me more antsy than usual."

"I don't see why that's a problem, considering you have never sat still anywhere a single day in your life. Someone could hold Joan over a barrel of piranha telling you they'd drop them if you couldn't sit still for an entire five minutes and it would be all your fault that Joan died."

Too late, I realized my mistake. Remus cackled loudly and sank out somewhere I didn't want to know but had to follow lest he murder the literal only reason Thomas had ever gotten me remotely under control.

"Why would you do that?" Thomas asked dully.

"You see why it's a bad idea to expect me to control these lunatics?"

Logan sighed, adjusting his glasses and snapping his folder closed. God knew what went on in those things; we only got independent internet access when we manifested and he certainly couldn't raid a bookstore without manifesting, yet he always had one in his lap, diligently working. It was morbidly fascinated. "Honestly," he grumbled. "Thomas, I believe that yes, your mental health would benefit from letting us manifest as a group. I can control the others."

"Logan," I began. "Buddy. Pal. My guy."

"Call me three of those ever again and there will be scalpels plunged into locations you do not want to think about."

"You cannot control them," I told him. "History has demonstrated multiple times that the only person who can control us is Thomas, and he's going to be busy catching up. He's going to let go of Remus' leash. Do you really--and I mean think about this--do you really think the time you want Remus off Thomas' leash is in a mall?"

"Fine. Then we'll leave him behind. At least venting some of--"

"He'll just start shooting off intrusive thoughts like a machine gun. You let more than one out, you open the floodgates."

"You're being paranoid."

"Funny that. I can't imagine why I'd be paranoid. Sounds completely unlike me, I'm normally so laid-back."

"The sarcasm was unnecessary."

"You're finally learning when I'm sarcastic." I was impressed. "Nice, Lo. I was getting worried."

Logan clicked his pen menacingly.

I grinned. Logan was easily one of my greatest allies in the Mindscape--Roman was insufferable, Janus, Remus and Rage were out of the question, and Patton could be obnoxiously patronizing--but never let his capacity for violence be underestimated. I once saw him take Roman's katana to a bundle of sticky notes because one of them gave him a paper cut. Despite that capacity for violence, however, I delighted in pushing his buttons.

"Are we manifesting today?" Roman called down the stairs with barely-restrained delight.

"Unless you can guarantee Remus won't set the mall on fire, hell no!" I called back up.

There was a long moment of silence. "Remus, I'll let you have Mrs. Snuffykins for one night if you behave yourself if we manifest!"

I had absolutely no idea what that was--I wanted to think a stuffed animal, but with Roman and Remus, all bets were off--but Remus' ecstatic screech was enough to tell me I probably didn't want to find out.

Roman looked back down at me. "He'll behave."

I arched an eyebrow.

"Prince's honor."

"Historically meant shit, Princey."

"Yes, but not Disneyally."

"That is not...remotely a word," Logan said, somehow a mix between dumbfounded and awed.

"Look, I'm just not optimistic that letting Remus out when Thomas isn't keeping an eye on him would end in anything except Thomas going to prison for arson, murder, or public indecency. Or worse."

"I'll keep him in line," Roman vowed. "Please, Virgil? I'm going stir-crazy in here, we all are."

I crossed my arms.

Roman pouted.

I snorted.

Roman glared.

I arched an eyebrow.

Roman slumped.

I grinned. "Deal with it, everybody. No manifesting. Get comfy. Janus, think about pushing your luck and I am ripping out each individual one of your scales and burying them in places you don't want."

"How delightfully Remus of you. Except for the part where you'll actually follow through on the threat."

"From Remus it wouldn't be a threat, it would be a bonding activity."

"Speaking of," Patton said shyly. "Didn't Remus run off after you said something about Joan getting hurt, kiddo?"

My eyes bugged out of my head. I sighed and hung it. "Why is it always me?" I mumbled and sunk out to chase Remus through the Mindscape.

~*~

After fishing out Remus' limbs from a pond of piranha he'd dismembered himself into when he heard me chasing after him, I borrowed some super glue from Roman's room and stuck him back together. It should have fixed him up good as new but it was Remus and any attempts I made to change things around here were easily superseded by one half of Creativity. Which meant Remus was now walking around with his penis glued to his forehead, fully erect.

Not as much time had passed by the time we returned as I expected. Which would have been great if not for the fact that the Conscious Mind was conspicuously quiet. All the dishes were clean, there wasn't any crap on the floor, and there were no Sides milling about. I could have taken the time to check each of their rooms upstairs but why waste the time when I knew exactly where they all were?

"Roman, you are in your thirties. A store called Forever 21 is not for you," Logan was saying after I manifested in the general direction of the others. "Hello, Virgil."

I glared. "What did I say?"

"Aw, but Virge--"

"You're inviting a Remustrophe right now, you realize that, right?"

Janus grinned. My blood ran cold.

"I WANT EVERY DILDO YOU HAVE!" echoed across the mall, and with horror, I realized what I'd done.

I'd loosed Remus Sanders on the Spencer's department store.

~*~

The good news: nothing had caught fire yet. Potential loss of life was yet to be determined as Patton yelped and rushed over to the prone body of the clerk behind the counter. That also proved fine when I saw him slump in relief after probing her neck for a pulse.

The bad news: Remus had slipped the superglue I'd used to piece him back together out of my pocket and was now using it to attach dildos, ripped out of their packages with plastic and cardboard shredded across the floor, to his costume. He was also dripping with something viscous, disincentivizing me from touching him to stop him from unleashing more chaos.

By rights, seven dildos glued to his top should have torn the damn thing, but it was made of sturdier stuff than that. I studied him for a long moment, trying to work up the nerve to approach, while he just continued to wreak havoc. Janus, meanwhile, the only one not preoccupied with horror or despair at Remus' antics, meandered over to the bowl in which they kept their sarcastic pins, perusing them idly.

"You better be planning to pay for those," I warned, then looked around. "Wait. Where's Rage?"

Logan glanced around. "Likely inflicting property damage on a jewelry store. He rather dislikes those."

I pinched my sinuses. "Logan, could you rein in your alter ego, please?"

"I am too evolved for my alter ego to be that idiot," Logan told me with overblown indignity.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, you're the only one who can talk some sense into him. The cameras may not be able to recognize Thomas' face on all of us, but the less reason the cops have to potentially stuff him in a cell, the better."

It was true. Somehow, whatever bizarre magic allowed us to manifest in the real world also confused cameras and people so no one could trace the destruction of property likely to follow us back to Thomas. It was the only reason I wasn't already in the fetal position on the floor forgetting the basic components of breathing.

Logan rolled his eyes and broke off to track down Rage. I turned my attention to Roman.

"No," Roman said firmly.

"He's your brother," I told him.

"Yes, and it's your fault he's here. You were supposed to watch him."

"I wouldn't have had to take my eyes off him if you guys hadn't snuck out in the first place. I'm one Side. Do you really think I would have stood a snowball's chance in hell of keeping Remus from doing exactly this?"

"And I have any better chance?"

"No, but the alternative is explaining to Thomas what you guys did."

Roman glared at me.

I glared back.

Roman pouted.

I continued glaring.

Roman stomped his foot and whined.

I pointed at Remus, who was now smashing glasses on the ground and eating the shards. Blood was rushing from his mouth and gathering in puddles on the floor. He was still dripping.

"I hate you," Roman informed me bluntly.

"Oh, like you've ever made a secret of that?"

Roman adopted a punched puppy expression at that one.

I sighed. "Yeah, yeah, you've been doing better, now go wrestle your brother into a cage or something."

Roman dragged his feet over to Remus and summoned a hasmat suit he put on. Remus sliced into it with a rather sizable shard and sprinted away before Roman could catch him. Without thinking, I lunged after him, only succeeding in sliding down the length of his body like he was covered in lube.

Oh, wait, it was lube. It smelled like one of Remus' worst farts and tasted like it too. You would have thought the dildos would have either failed to stick with his clothes soaked in lubricant or at least they would have given me something to hang onto to stop him from escaping, but all they did was slap me repeatedly in the face with silicon penes of various sizes.

Remus left a slimy trail behind him as he cackled deeper into the store. I was positive he was headed somewhere with matches so he could set the building on fire.

I pressed my face into the floor, into a puddle of lube, and sighed. Miserably, I hauled myself to my feet and turned back to everyone else. "You are in so much trouble," I assured them without passion, dragging myself off to find Thomas and get him to suck Remus back into the Mindscape before additional damage could be done.

I found him in the food court, blissfully unaware of the chaos unfolding deeper into the store. Altogether the world seemed relatively unaware of the happenings, another magical defense mechanism. It wasn't that people never noticed what we were doing, it was just that they were less likely to find it alarming. Although once the fire alarms started going off, people would pay attention.

"Thomas," I greeted without etiquette, coming to pause next to his table.

"Holy shit," Joan summarized perfectly. People aware of our nonsense were usually pretty good at spotting us and processing our appearances.

Thomas looked dejected. "No."

"Remus escaped."

Thomas flopped forward like a fish on land and smacked his head full into the table. The pain reverberated through my skull. "Time to--"

The fire alarm blared. Rage ran past with a shotgun, screaming, "Adios, coppers!" as he went.

Thomas watched him run past. "We don't have to stop him, do we?"

I considered it for a moment. "Nah, he can stay. As long as everyone goes back in, we should be able to keep Remus there."

People ran past screaming. A panicked exodus spilled from the food court. Some people knocked into me and I stumbled. Thomas caught my hoodie sleeve, then gagged and pulled his hand back.

"Remus," I explained.

"Right." Thomas looked in the direction everyone was running from. "I guess I have to go toward the fire to stop him, huh?"

I nodded sadly.

"Sorry, Joan," Thomas explained. "Next time, my place."

"Deal. Want some help?"

"You don't need to see what I'm about to see."

With that, Thomas and I made our begrudging way toward the fire.

~*~

It resolved relatively easily once Thomas gave Remus a disapproving stare. We all didn't do well with Thomas' disappointment, even Remus, so he moped back inside the Mindscape without much complaint. Everyone else returned to the living room in my doghouse and I locked myself in my room, refusing to emerge. Rage stayed out for a while longer and later we found out three police stations had been set on fire with all prisoners escaped. No loss of life, which I didn't know how to feel about.

Later, through mystical means, the stolen dildos Remus had taken were discovered in Ron DeSantis' home. We laughed for a week.

I amend my earlier statement. Maybe we really do need to use Remus as the next great flood. He'll just focus his attention on the fascists and we'll all be better off.

Yo, God, you should get on that.

#sanders sides fic #character thomas sanders #virgil sanders #virgil pov #first person pov #roman sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #janus sanders #remus sanders #rage sanders #anarchist sides #rage blows up police stations #and remus frames george santos for petty theft #antifascist #acab #crack taken seriously #funny talk of god and biblical stories