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#cry over a girl just because she was supposed to *save* her virginity for when we got married???????
awaara-bf · 2 months
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I lied
#so#dni#idek where to start man#the first thing i can remember is that im a misogynist now apparently#wait not now#ive always been#that i judge girls for living their life and guys for having what I don't have#surely not what i want to be like literally the last thing i want to be is a misogynist#the world is not a sunshine place i imagine it to be where nobody is a racist or sexist or homophobic or ableist and everybody sings hakuna#matata or sunshine songs its pathetic it makes me wanna vomit i want to be happy but it forces me to become nihilistic with my thoughts#its fucked up its just so rotten at its core that even the smallest emotions feels like a huge generosity from the gods themselves#im at the pojnt in my life thaf if i dont act now im going to lose the years ive already lost#my entirety of teenage is gone now and im unprepared and unequipped to fight around for my life#im left catching up and apparently ive been sleeping on the track even though im the turtle#it fucking sucks to be me yk#im so so soo self centred btw i cant think of others i cant care for others unless its about me somehow#i deserve to die for whatever goes on in my head its so blasphemous to existence itself its pointless to even exist anymore#i have everything a person could ask for#loving parents a normal life a good college friends who care for me and who i care for not that financially fucked up a good career#lined up in the future#i could be stable yk i could be happy grateful satistfied#i should even be working harder to achieve what i want without losing up on reality chasing my dreams#and what do i do#what the fuck do i do?????#cry over a girl just because she was supposed to *save* her virginity for when we got married???????#how stupid is that?????#she doesnt owe me anything she can do what she wants with her life she isnt someone i control or any such thing#who am i to judge people im literally just a loser npc simpleton who's been left alone and normal so long he's forgotten how to exist#i feel disgusted with myself#its just like the times i have the wild theories about whos doing what behind my back
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mypoisonedvine · 1 year
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𝘧𝘢𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘧𝘶𝘭 || joel miller x reader
𝘴𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘺 || joel wasn't looking for a follower, or a protégé, or an employee— whatever you're supposed to be— when he saved some dumbass kid from a couple runners. but he ended up with you anyways, and you swore to always be faithful to him... in every way.
𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵 || 9.2k
𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 || smut (18+ only; oral f receiving, unprotected sex, very slight dacryphilia kinda?, a touch of degradation and dumbification in there, and virginity loss with some pain and one mention of blood), heavy age gap (not specified but the reader is absolutely an adult), insecure crybaby reader, unrequited love/pining, reader wants to fuck joel so bad it makes her look stupid (and we love that for her cause same), angst, tess getting kinda screwed over but only because it's absolutely necessary for the plot, emotionally repressed joel, mention of reader's parents being deceased (implied to be infected)
this fic does not contain spoilers for anything but minor details from episode one!
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They were doing that thing again— where they talked in front of you, as if you weren’t there.
“So we make the run tonight,” Tess decided, standing while Joel sat on the worn-out sofa with his hands clasped and his elbows resting on his knees.  “We should be back by four, that’s when the FEDRA boys have their shift change, so we can avoid too much risk of getting caught.”
“What should I do?” you piped up.  They both looked at you with that oh yeah, she’s here glare and Tess sighed; she didn’t try very hard to hide her frustration with you, but at the same time, she was actually nice to you when she was in a good mood (which was rare).  Joel was less mean but also less nice— he stayed steady in his neutral-to-mildly-irritated state, and you figured if he wanted you to fuck off, he would’ve said so (probably in those exact words, too).
At the same time, they both instructed you flatly: “Keep watch.”
You sighed, shoulders sinking.  “Again?  Can’t I at least—?”
“You’re safer here,” Joel insisted.
“Yeah, and your gun is safer in the box under the bed, but it’s not gonna do shit to protect you if you never take it out,” you countered.
Tess scoffed.  “And what are you gonna do to protect us?”
“I wasn’t,” you admitted.  “You know I’m a great shot, but I wasn’t gonna try to shoot anybody.  I’m quieter than both of you.  I can get in and out better— and nobody’s looking for me.  Everybody knows you’re smuggling—”
“Not everybody,” Joel defended himself in a mumble.
“ — so if I do get caught, I can probably get out of a search,” you bargained.
“And what are you gonna do to get out of a search?” Tess smirked.  “Bat your eyelashes?”
That did sting, but you rolled your eyes and hoped you had effectively looked like it didn’t affect you at all.  “If implying that I’m pretty enough to get out of a search is supposed to be an insult, I can’t wait to hear one of your compliments, Tess,” you replied— but your voice was soft and almost shaky, not as confident as the comeback merited.  That summarized you pretty well: you had the will to be tough, but when it was time to really go for it, your body failed you and your hands got shaky and your eyes watered.  Almost anything could make you cry, Tess had already made fun of you for it; Joel just seemed to get really uncomfortable when you started crying, but you always did your best to hide it from him.  It just didn’t usually work.
Your whole face probably lit up when you caught Joel’s suppressed smile— did he think your joke was funny?  He hadn’t been smiling when Tess made fun of you, so it had to be what you said— or maybe he was thinking of something he would say if he cared enough to say it, some comment about how you could do more than that to get out of being searched.  He didn’t seem the type to make comments like that, but he was well aware what guards might let (or make) a girl do to avoid punishment.
“Whatever,” Tess decided, shaking her head, “you’re not coming with us, that’s the point.”
“Joel gets a say, too!” you blurted out.  “You can’t just pick for him that I’m not coming, he has to—”
“You’ll stay here,” he interrupted.  So much for getting Joel to let you go— you thought maybe he would side with you, for once.  Deflating, you nodded, and they stopped paying attention to you at the same time that you stopped paying attention to them.
Your mind wandered in times like this, when they were talking and it was clear that it didn’t concern you; Tess said once that you had an ‘overactive imagination’, but she hadn’t said it in a really mean way (like she said most things).  You didn’t want Joel to think that you were always daydreaming, but you couldn’t help it sometimes— you really just hoped that he didn’t know he was the subject of so many of your thoughts.
Truth was, he’d caught your eye long before he even knew you existed.  You’d seen him around, doing all those odd jobs he did to make ends meet, and thought he was… well, handsome, but not just that.  Mysterious.  Intimidating, though he didn’t exactly intimidate you— okay, he did, but not like he did everybody else.  He intimidated others because they were afraid he would hurt them; he intimidated you because you kind of wanted him to hurt you.  Not, you know, bad, just… maybe a hand around the neck or pinning you to a wall or something?
It wasn’t in spite of your inexperience that you had thoughts like that— it was because of it; you had been lonely for a long, long time, and maybe it was just fantasy, but you always wanted someone like Joel.  You wanted someone to take care of you, protect you.  You were just guessing that he was capable of that, but he proved it when you met for the first time.
It wasn’t exactly a meet-cute, or even just a pleasant way to meet; you were short on rations, because you’d given most of yours away to Mrs. Davis who was too old and weak now to earn any extra for herself, and someone offered to pay you ten if you snuck something they could sell out of the old mall in the QZ… well, that went about as poorly as anyone would’ve expected.
You asked Joel what he was doing there, after he’d saved you from the runners, but he refused to tell you.  Either way, it was the best luck you ever had that he showed up and fought them off.  For a moment, he’d held you close to him as he pulled you away from the Infected; you wished, later, that you hadn’t been too terrified to appreciate that.
Ever since, you’d sworn yourself to him— in more ways than one, but he only knew about the main one: you wanted to assist him however you could, figuring after he saved your life that you should dedicate it to his service.  Well, Joel had never been interested in your assistance, or anything else about you.  It was actually Tess' idea to let you stay: "if she wants to help, let her do it for free," she whispered to Joel, and he shrugged, and he did.  That was how it ended up like this: you were the squeaky, wobbly third wheel of Joel and Tess’ operation, more often than not doing the least important work if not filling your time with essentially goose-chase tasks they invented to keep you occupied.  Keep watch and listen to the radio were your biggest assignments; just wait here was another common one, when they were too lazy to call it one of the other two.
Tess left a little while later, and Joel laid down on the sofa.  You broke away from your thoughts and tried to make yourself useful— you got up to rinse the dishes, humming a random tune to yourself as you worked.  You were already back inside your head, wondering if you should tell Joel it was a song you’d heard on his radio and had stuck in your head ever since.  Probably not worth it; it usually didn’t go well when you tried to talk about things like that.  Joel and Tess talked about before a lot— well, it wasn't that often, because it wasn't very productive to talk about it.  But they talked about it occasionally and you never had anything to say.  Once, you tried to weigh in: they were reminiscing on concerts before the outbreak, bands and artists they remembered, and you chirped about how "I read about that in a book once!"
They both glared at you, and you didn't say anything else.  But you didn’t take it too personally, they just didn’t want to feel old— but you didn’t think either of them were old!  These days, old wasn’t a matter of years, it was really just about usefulness— like poor Mrs. Davis, she was old, she couldn’t do much for herself anymore— and they were both… actually, they were both significantly more useful than you.  That made you sad.  But at least Joel had helped you get better with guns— not that he ever let you carry one. 
“I didn’t ask you to do that,” Joel broke the silence as you washed his favorite mug.
“I know,” you said back, voice light and chipper.  “You don’t have to.”
You felt his eyes linger on you for a moment after that, but he didn’t say anything else.
~
Though they had decided already that you weren’t joining them on the run, you ended up there— mostly by happenstance— when Joel and Tess met with the buyer who wanted half of what they managed to bring back.  Not many people in the QZ could afford that kind of contraband, so it made sense that it was one of the FEDRA soldier’s bankrolling this.  They were by no means rich, but they had a lot of pull and could provide all sorts of ration cards and promises to look the other way if future issues arose.  He couldn’t guarantee safe movement out and back in through the boundaries of the city, but he at least promised to look the other way in any future run-ins with the law.
“So that’s it: you’ll leave at eleven, you’re back by four, and you bring me my share the next day during my break?” the soldier confirmed.
“Yep,” Tess agreed.  “Quick and painless.  Hopefully.”
You didn’t expect the man’s eyes to land on you, but you didn’t particularly care for it.  "Is your little lap dog coming, too?" he smirked, glancing at Joel after he was finished raking his stare over you.
Your face got hot instantly, with shame and confusion.  "I— I'm not in his lap," you denied, "that's not— we don't—"
“No,” Joel interrupted firmly, “she’s not coming.”
There was an awkward silence, the place where he might’ve said and she’s not my lap dog, if he cared much about the accusation.  Tess seemed to be hanging onto that silence nearly as tightly as you were.
“Whatever,” the soldier finally brought everyone’s attention back to the conversation, “just meet me here tomorrow at half past one, and we’ll see what you’ve got.”
You were still thinking about that conversation that night— while you were keeping watch, like Joel had asked you to.  It was really boring; you spent most of the time on the couch, reading a book you’d bought off someone for a few rations.  After a while, your curiosity got the better of you, and you started snooping around Joel’s apartment.  There wasn’t much to look at… he didn’t own much, just a few shirts— actually, you thought those jeans he always wore might be his only pair…
Your search led you to his bed.  Even with no one here to see you do it, you were a little embarrassed to lean in and take a whiff of his pillow— but it was totally worth it.  It smelled just like him, that warm piney kind of scent he had; in times like this, not many people could afford to smell nice, but Joel could.  Not to say that he was the type to splurge on all the nicest stuff, you were pretty sure he didn’t even own cologne, but he owned shampoo and deodorant, so that put him in the 80th percentile for hygiene in the Boston QZ.
But it wasn’t just those products you smelled on his sheets— there was something quintessentially Joel to it all, something impossible to define but incredibly addictive.  It was instinctual, the way you got in his bed and curled up in those sheets, burying yourself in the comfort of him.  It was so easy to imagine how he might hold you, now that you were here— all you were missing was his strength, his weight, slow and steady breaths behind you as he drifted to sleep…
You woke up when you heard the door shut.  Startled into sitting up, you were hoping you’d have time to get out of his bed before he saw you— but he was already standing there, staring at you.  He was just a shape in the dark, so you couldn’t see his face, but you heard the exasperated sigh.
“I thought I told you to sleep on the couch,” he said.
“R-right, sorry,” you coughed, recalling last time this happened with a pained wince.
“Better yet, I thought I told you to keep watch!”
“You know you just say that,” you mumbled, “so you can keep me away from the real work.”
He didn’t say anything, probably because he knew you were right— but even if he’d wanted to, he couldn’t, because Tess walked in a second later.  “Can’t believe he tried to stiff us,” she was saying as she walked in, half-laughing in frustration.  “Well, yeah I can,” she added a second later.
Her attitude changed when she saw you in the bed.  “I— I’ll go back to my—” you started, but you ended up just getting up and leaving in a hurry before you could really finish your thought.
Wiping a small tear from under your eye quickly, you walked out of Joel’s apartment and started for your own bunk across the city— even though it was more likely than not that somebody would hassle you for walking around during curfew.
Yes, if you had a little more self-respect, you would just stop hanging around those two and find some other work to do, but Joel had done something for you that you could never repay and never forget.  He didn’t have to love you the way you loved him— and you’d been sure for a while that he never would— but couldn’t he at least be a little nicer?  You wouldn’t feel right being anywhere but at his side, no matter how much he made it seem like he never wanted you there at all.
~
Honestly, you did consider not going back the next morning— but you figured they might actually need you for the next part.  Okay, not need, but they could at least use you for something: after smuggling anything in, you need a fence, someone to pawn this stuff off.  Joel and Tess did a decent job of keeping a low profile, but it was even easier to do so when they had someone like you moving contraband around Boston’s population.
So, after a few hours of sleep on that radically uncomfortable cot, you decided to head back to Joel’s place.  The sun was just above the horizon by this time, but only the people working early shifts for their rations were up now; you liked the city best when it was quiet like this, but then again, you liked almost everything better quiet.
Usually, Joel’s apartment was the same way.  But when you walked in, the energy was completely different than you were used to.  Where you’d normally find Tess counting up the score while Joel sipped on coffee (or liquor, depending most on the hour), instead you walked in on what was clearly a lover’s quarrel.
The thing was, this was not your typical argument— they were doing it Joel and Tess style, which is to say, as repressed as possible.  In fact, they weren’t even talking when you walked in, but just the way they were standing was indicative of the discomfort they were clearly trying not to acknowledge.
Tess was at the window, arms crossed, looking at the view; and you knew that was a bad sign, because there was no view to be had, the QZ was an eyesore and she complained about it all the time.  Joel was sitting at the table, facing the other way, his hand squeezing his own fist instead of the handle of his mug— it didn’t look injured, but his face still had a hint of pain on it.
“I’m sorry—” you mumbled, not sure what you were apologizing for yet, but Tess interrupted you.
“I’ll go,” she decided, walking over to the table.
“Okay,” Joel agreed, not looking at her.
Well, you were no relationship expert, and you didn’t even know what they were arguing about… but you knew that was pretty cold.  “So that’s all you’re gonna say to me?” Tess prompted him, her tone tight and her eyes red.
You kept your head low, as if that would hide the fact that you could clearly see and hear all this.  
“Yeah,” Joel decided, not as aloof as usual; it reminded you of how he usually spoke to you, that frustration, but it was definitely different.  More… exhausted.  “Yeah, it is.”
Tess put her weight predominantly on one leg, her hips shifting, as she let out a scoffing sort of breath.  For a moment, she looked at you; you looked back at her shyly from beneath your brows before looking away.  Why would she look at me right now?
Shaking her head, she left, mumbling to herself but you couldn’t make it out.  The door slammed behind her.  Joel sighed next.
“Everything okay?” you asked sheepishly, twisting your boot on the floor to watch the shapes it made in the thin layer of dust.
“Clearly,” he insisted, and the sarcasm was obvious though his voice was neutral.  You could tell he didn’t want you to prod more— anyone who knew Joel for two minutes would know that— but you still chewed your lip as you wondered what you should do.
Your attention turned to the stacks of contraband on the table; most of it was perfectly legal material to own, just not legal to acquire from outside the city’s perimeter.  “Looks like a good haul this time,” you noticed, hoping a change of subject would soothe him a little.  Maybe it did, but he didn’t show it.  He just kept squeezing his fist, and you gently sat down across from him at the table— and you started doing what you figured you should, going through what they’d brought back and starting to figure how much you could get for it.
For a while, he entertained that conversation, though with as short of responses as possible.  Not even a ‘yes’ or a ‘no’, just hums and grunts that got the point across.  You could tell he was thinking, but you could also tell he didn’t want to be— that he’d rather forget about all that.  For once, he was struggling to do that.
It scared you to imagine doing something he so obviously didn’t want you to do, but you knew you couldn’t ignore it forever.  “What made her so upset?” you asked softly, finally.
He paused for so long that you thought he was just ignoring your question, but he did eventually say something.  “She told me something I wasn’t ready to hear,” he answered, “and… and I guess I said the wrong thing.”
“What did you say?”
“Actually, I didn’t say anything,” he admitted with a thin laugh.  “But, I said nothing in the wrong way.”
"... Do you think she'll come back?" you pressed, and his sigh was answer enough.
You had to wonder if he'd make you a real partner in all this now.  Probably not, right?  He thought so little of you before, that wouldn't change just because Tess was out.
“I’m sorry,” you decided.
“It’s not your fault,” he promised.  “It was me.”
You didn’t press on that, already thankful and pleasantly surprised by how much he’d shared.  He stood up a moment later, leaving the table and moving to the kitchenette so he could make some coffee; oddly, that comforted you.  Like things were going to go forward now, like life could be normal again and he would still drink his coffee.
For a while, it was quiet— just how you liked it, and how you figured he liked it, too.  He was humming a song at one point but you didn’t think he realized he was doing it.
It was so quiet, in fact, that when you went to lay on the sofa later, you ended up accidentally dozing off.  You couldn’t say how long you were asleep— you were pretty underslept, but it didn’t feel like more than an hour— just that you were awoken to the sound of movement in the kitchen area.
Sitting up, you tilted your head when you saw Joel had begun packing up the contraband haul— well, half of it.  “What are you—?” you began to ask, but then you saw the time, and you remembered; but he answered you anyways.
“Our buyer’s on his break now,” Joel announced as he stuffed a pack of bandages into his bag.  “I said I would meet him to show him what we got.”
“I can go with you!” you announced.  “You know, if Tess isn’t—”
“It’s fine,” he insisted, “I can do it myself.”
“Joel, please,” you pressed, “I promise I’ll do whatever you need me to, I just wanna help—”
“I need you to stay here,” he frowned.
Some things never change, huh?  “Why don’t you just let me go?  Let me help you?” you whimpered, lip shaking as you started to cry.  You hated yourself for it, but you knew you couldn’t stop it.
There was a pause before he responded.  “I don’t like the way he looks at you,” Joel explained, but you doubted that was the real reason he didn’t want you to come.  “It only takes one of us, you’re better off here.”
“Tess was gonna go!” you reminded him, getting more upset.  "I know I'm not…" you trailed off as you tried not to cry too much or too loudly.  "I can't do what she can— I'm not strong…"
He sighed as he knelt down in front of you, resting his hand on your knee.  You peeked out from behind your fingers, but looked down again.
"I'm not— I'm not smart, either," you whimpered.  "I don't know anything, about before, about now—"
"That's not true," he mumbled, but you weren't finished yet.
"Nobody knows why you even keep me around, I sure don't," you shrugged, dropping your hands defeatedly, hot tears running faster down your face and dripping onto your pants; his hand reached up and wiped your cheeks with a gentleness you never knew he had.  “M’not… I’m not tough, like you guys…”
"You know what you are, little girl?" he replied quietly.  "You're good.  You're sweet.  Me an' Tess, we need someone like you to keep us from bein' sad old assholes all the time…"
He sighed, and you thought was done talking, until he spoke again, softer.
"I need someone like you."
Your heart swelled, and light filled your chest, until you had just enough confidence to finally blurt out what you'd been holding in for months: "Joel, you should know that I always—"
"Shh," he soothed, nodding.  "I know."
Your face got hot instantly again, and your heart sank.  "I think everybody knows," you mumbled awkwardly, giving him a half-smile through the drying tears.  "But I thought— it's just that you never—"
“I couldn’t,” he insisted.  “You understand that?  I couldn’t, not with you—”
“Why not?” you snapped.  “Why can’t you?”
“If you don’t know why, you’re more hopeless than I thought,” he frowned.
“I know— I know I’m… a lot younger than you…” you mumbled, almost not wanting to say it in case he actually hadn’t noticed that.  “I know you think I’m not very mature and stuff… but that shouldn’t matter when you really love someone—”
“Woah, hey,” he coughed, “love?  Sweetheart, you’ve got a crush—”
“No!  Don’t tell me how I feel,” you snapped, surprising both of you with your sudden ability to stand up to him.  “You can tell me what to do but not what to feel.”
“Okay,” he softened up, “fine.  That’s fair.  But it’ll pass—”
"I've never loved anybody before," you whimpered, "and I'm never gonna love anybody like I love you.  I know that!  I know you think I'm just a stupid kid who doesn't understand love, but I know that I really love you!  Okay?  So just… just stop talking!  Doesn’t need to take this long for you to reject me, geez…”
There was a pregnant pause, you were too caught up in your own frustration to really notice it: the way he looked to the side, chewing on the inside of his cheek for a moment.  You weren’t expecting him to say anything after that, so it nearly startled you when he spoke.  “It was last night, after you left,” he explained.  “I— I thought about telling you to come back, figured you’d be safer on the couch than walking back across the city at that time…”
Wrapping your arms around your chest, you smiled a little imagining that, but you knew you couldn’t have taken him up on that offer: it would’ve killed you, trying to sleep on that sofa while Joel and Tess shared the bed.
“She told me not to,” Joel continued.  “That’s… that’s how it started, I guess…”
“That girl’s so obsessed with you,” Tess laughed lightly, toying with Joel’s lapel.  “It’s cute, really.  I mean, it’s sad— but it’s cute.”
“Hm,” Joel said first, not really listening— it took him a second to properly react.  “Why is it sad?” he asked when her words processed completely.
“‘Cause she thinks she might actually have a chance,” Tess explained.
That was it, what he did wrong; he sees it now, in retrospect, but at the time he figured saying nothing was his safest bet.  Apparently, he didn’t have to say anything.
“Shit,” Tess said suddenly, moving instantly from shock to anger.  “Are you fucking serious?”
“What?” Joel spat.
“You know fucking what,” she returned sharply.  “That look— you looked away.”
“Okay?  So?” Joel tried to defend himself, but he knew that she knew now— believe it or not, he really wasn’t much of a liar.  Especially with her.
“She’s a goddamn fetus, Joel,” Tess reminded him.  “She hasn’t seen a hundredth of the shit we’ve seen, she hasn’t lost anyone—”
“Lost her parents,” Joel corrected.
“Well, we all lose our parents,” Tess rolled her eyes, “that’s part of life.”
Not the way she lost them, Joel wanted to add, but he was going back to his original plan of saying nothing.
“She’s not like us,” Tess insisted.
“Maybe that’s a good thing,” Joel decided.
That was the point of no return; because Tess had never thought of you as competition, she barely even thought of you at all, but if innocence was something he wanted… then the competition was already over before it even started.  The silence was heavy, more sad than angry, and Joel knew he really fucked up because he’d never really seen Tess speechless before.  Is it bad that he didn’t regret it, though?  Maybe he could’ve handled things better, but telling her the truth couldn’t be wrong.  It’s not like he’d been hiding it, really— he never even acknowledged it himself, not often.
“I can’t believe you,” she shook her head, and shame twisted in his gut.  “Part of me always— not always, I guess, but part of me wondered.  Sometimes the way you looked at her…”
As she trailed off, Joel looked down, too afraid for her to look in his eyes now.
“You’d do anything to keep her safe,” she said instead of finishing that last thought.  “I told myself you didn’t look at me like that because you knew I could protect myself.”
“I do,” he promised.
“So what do you want?” she asked point-blank.  “Something you can protect, or something you don’t have to?”
“And what did you say?” you asked hurriedly.
“I told her what I wanted,” was all he replied, and your heart skipped.  “And that’s… that’s why she left.”
Joel nodded slightly, looking away.  But you reached out and touched his face, turning it back towards you.  Impulsively, you leaned forward and kissed him; it took all the courage you had, and a hand on his shoulder for balance, but you felt him kiss you back after a moment.  It was gentle, for how sudden it was, and you sighed as his hand moved higher up your leg.  
You were still crying, because of course you were, but he didn’t mind as much as you’d worried: he only wiped your tears away, holding onto your face, standing up and pulling you with him.
“I love you,” you whispered as he embraced you, wanting to say it a thousand times now that it wasn’t the worst-kept secret in Boston.  “I love you, Joel—”
“I know,” he promised, whispering back into the kiss which got deeper with each passing moment.  “I know, darlin’.”
That was enough for you— that was plenty: the way he kissed you, and held you, calling you darlin’ in that rough-yet-gentle voice… you were weak already, melting into his touch, ready to give him anything.
In fact, he had to put a hand on your shoulder and gently push you away to get you to calm down, and your face heated up as you realized how eager you’d been.  “Don’t need to get so worked up, m’gonna take care of you now, okay?”
“You always take care of me,” you noticed.
“A different way,” he explained.
Just the way those brown eyes darkened, just the way he said that made your thighs clench against each other.  “Y-you’ll miss the meeting with the buyer,” you realized.
“Fuck,” Joel grumbled, and you smiled a bit.  “Waited this long and now I’ve gotta fuckin’ leave you again.”
Your hand rested on his chest, the soft flannel of his shirt transmitting some of the warmth of his body, and you looked up with him with wide, wet eyes.
“I know you hate waitin’ here, but… I always liked it,” he admitted, his voice softer yet deeper.  “I always liked knowing you were here, waiting for me…”
Your heart swelled.  “Y-yeah— I didn’t mind waiting for you so much,” you admitted in return, “just didn’t want you to think that’s all I was good for.”
He kissed your temple, making your chest flood with warmth.  “I know,” he promised.  “You’ll be here when I get back, won’tcha?  Can’t disappear on me now.”
“I won’t, I’ll be here,” you assured, turning your face to peck his cheek in return.  It seemed to surprise him, like he hadn’t had tenderness of that sort in a long time.
~
Funny how you’d waited for him all night before, but that half hour felt longer than all of them combined.  You were quite sure you knew what he meant before— about how he would take care of you in a different way— and it put you on edge all afternoon.
You couldn’t stop thinking about the way he’d kissed you, about his hands pulling you closer.  Or his eyes: if he’d ever looked at you like that before, you hadn’t noticed (which was probably what he intended).  
For how much time you spent wondering what you would do, what you would say, when he returned, you ended up not doing much of either: he was on you the moment he stepped in the door, though that was sort of what you’d been betting on when you decided to strip down to just your underwear and wait for him like that.  Not that you minded the idea of him, you know, tearing your clothes off like one of those romance novels— you just didn’t like the idea of having to wait any longer than you already had and this shirt had way too many buttons.
He did take a moment to stare you down when he came back, to appreciate your nakedness, and despite imagining showing yourself to him many times before, you felt a little self-conscious with his eyes just piercing through you like that: you didn’t cover yourself, ignoring a slight instinct to do so, but you did wrap your arms over your stomach and cross your legs as you sat on his bed.
Waiting for him to say something— or, possibly, waiting for yourself to find some courage to speak— you were a little taken aback when he grabbed you and kissed you.  And you realized, as his lips moved with yours even harder, deeper, needier than before, that there was nothing else to say.
He climbed on top of you on that bed, laid you down on it gently, as his weight pressed you down into the mattress.  You could've sworn you heard him growl when he rocked his hips against yours, a firm bulge in his jeans pressing right up to where heat had gathered between your legs.
Fingers weaving in his hair, you hummed as you did all you could to keep him close, as if he might just disappear if you didn’t hold him near to you.  But he didn’t seem like much of a flight risk, considering his tight grip on you— so tight it could leave marks, which you hoped it would.  You needed more than just memories of this.
“Tell me this is what you want,” he demanded, his voice breathless yet somehow not weak at all.  “Need to know you want this.”
“Fuck, Joel, f’course,” you promised— wasn’t it obvious?  It probably was.  But you could understand if he was still fighting back some guilt; you just wanted to do everything you could to help him forget about that.  “So bad,” you continued, “for so long…”
“Since I saved you?” he assumed, his teeth grazing your lip like a threat to bite down harder— a threat that made you throb from the inside out.
“Before,” you admitted, smiling sheepishly.  
“Didn’t even know me before,” he noticed, raising an eyebrow.
“Saw you around sometimes—” god, am I blushing as hard as it feels like I am? — “thought maybe you could… you know…”
Protect me.  Hold me.  Take care of me.  And fuck me like the world is ending even though it already did.
He smirked at you proudly, leaning in to kiss your neck this time, following some invisible trail that made you even more sensitive to the touch of his lips; after he kissed right under your ear, he whispered to you.
“Then just go ahead and take what you want, darlin’.”
After a shiver ran over you, so strong you thought it might never end, your hands shot down between you so you could get to work on his belt and fly; you felt his smile against your skin, then his teeth a moment later, as his hand rubbed the curve of your waist gently.
Both of you gasped when your fingers wrapped gently around his cock, for different reasons.  The skin was so smooth, it was hard to believe something this soft and silky was part of Joel— and it was hot, or maybe your fingers were just cold, but you hoped that didn't bother him.
He was already starting to move his hips just a bit, rocking into your touch, and you hummed when he suddenly grabbed your hand to force it to press firmer against himself.  "You thought about touchin' me like this before?" he asked in a voice that was breathy and low— you loved hearing the pleasure in his voice.
"Y-yeah," you admitted shyly; when he let your hand go, your touch wandered, your hands sliding up under the bottom of his shirt so you could feel the skin there— the firm muscle, the thin scars, the graying hairs that formed a trail down his stomach…
Grabbing your wrists, he pinned them down above your head, and you let out a joyful whine.  "Keep those there," he ordered, and you nodded as you watched him intently.
His hands traced down your body, making shivers run all over your skin; how could a man with so much strength touch you so delicately?
He purred as his fingers ran down to your panties, toying with the edge of the fabric before carefully pulling them down your legs.  You tried not to wiggle too much, but your hips were desperate for some friction, for some attention from him— they didn't have to wait long, though.  He groaned at the sight as he parted your legs, grabbing himself to rub his fat head through your folds.  "Fuck," he mumbled, your channel clenching on nothing as you saw how far apart his tip forced your swollen lips, "so wet for me already, bet I'll slide right in…"
Your back arched with a moan just imagining that, and he pushed your stomach down flat with his free hand so you wouldn't angle too far away from him, laying his body atop yours.  Though you tried to stay still, you couldn’t stop shaking as he lined himself up; it felt surreal, it felt hyperreal— his skin against yours was unlike anything you could’ve imagined.
You’d sort of wondered if he’d say something before he put it in, maybe a quick you ready? or even here it comes which would’ve been stupid but an appreciated warning nonetheless.  Instead, he just looked at your face carefully, and pushed inside.  It was sudden, sharp; your whole body tensed up and you sucked in a breath before biting your lip.
He only made it halfway in, struggling against how tight you were.  You were doing everything you could not to give away your pain, but he must've seen it in your expression.
"What's wrong?" he asked in a hoarse whisper.  "I'm hurting you…"
"No— Joel, please don't stop—"
You wrapped your legs around his hips to try to keep him inside, but he pulled out most of the way and looked down— and you winced when he saw the blood.  "Baby, you… are you— is this your—?  Fuck, why didn't you say something?"
"You wouldn't have done it with me if you knew it was my first time," you explained with a whimper.
"No, baby— I just would've taken my time with you, s'all," he sighed, "would've helped you— sweetie, it didn't need to hurt like that…"
Clutching tighter at his shirt, you pulled him down into a needy kiss. "Hurt me more, Joel," you pleaded into it with a breathy whisper, "do whatever you want to me.  I'm yours— that's all I want, just to be yours."
He kissed you back, slow but passionate; but, much to your dismay, he pulled out and sat up.
"No, Joel, I'm sorry," you whined, "I'm sorry— I didn't mean to lie, I'm so sorry, I promise I can be good!  M'gonna be really good for you!"
But he just shook his head, and you bit your quivering lip as tears ran down your temples.  He smiled, just a little.  "Such a crybaby," he scolded you softly.  "What am I gonna do with you, little girl?  You can't even keep yourself together."
He leaned down again, but he slid his knees down on the bed so he could position his face between your legs.  He kissed your inner thigh first, and you jumped because it tickled.
Then he held your hips, running his thumbs over your skin soothingly, and you tried not to squirm too much as he looked up at you with those dark eyes— much darker than before.  “You want me to taste you?” he asked, like it was your idea or something.
“Uh, yeah,” you mumbled sheepishly, and he actually laughed for a moment.  
“Yeah?” he repeated.  “Could you be a little more specific?”
Oh— he wants me to beg.  “Um— please?  Taste me, Joel…”
He smiled, but not like a haha funny smile or an oh that’s nice smile— a really dirty kind of smile, even though his teeth were actually in better condition than most out here.  “Okay, baby,” he agreed.
He was subtle about it at first, just giving gentle kisses all around; you felt… exposed, even more than you had with his face between your legs before.
“Is that alright?” he asked, his voice rougher than the last time you heard it.
“Y-yeah,” you choked, clearing your throat.  “Don’t… don’t stop, please…”
When he got back to it, he was much more aggressive— long, slow licks between your lips, sloppy kisses with his eyes shut tight; and you whined as you held on tighter to the sheets.  You didn’t realize how hard you were shaking until his grip on your thighs was bruisingly tight.  And as he held you down, he just dug in deeper: every time you thought he’d stop escalating the intensity of it all, he just did it more— he just did everything more— until you couldn’t control your moans and gasps anymore.
His tongue was the fucking devil; he slid it inside you and your eyes rolled back.  He sucked greedily on your clit until your hips bucked uncontrollably, moaning against your skin just enough that you could hear it over your own shameless cries.
"Joel, fuck, how are you—?  Oh god—"
"Mm?" he encouraged you to finish your thought without breaking away from you.
"How does that feel so good?" you sobbed.  "Oh my god— please don't stop, never stop, oh fuck!"
All he was doing was flicking his tongue over your bud, such a small interaction with a tiny little organ, and your whole body was shaking.  Reaching down and grabbing his hair, you didn't mean to tug on it so hard but you also didn't expect him to moan deeply when you did.  
His mouth moved a little higher, focusing on the bud you were sure had never been this swollen or this sensitive.  Doing so freed your opening, and one of his thick fingers prodded at it.  "Please," you panted, wanting any part of him to be inside you again.
He pushed it in, the roughness of his skin creating the perfect friction on your delicate walls.  You were waiting to feel his knuckle against you, but instead he only put it in maybe halfway, not very far at all.  It didn’t make much sense to you, until he started to rub one place just inside and a gasp instantly inflated your chest.
“Oh—” you choked, and he was licking harder on your clit at the same time that he added a second finger; you’d never felt anything like it before.  “Joel!” you squealed, hating how girlish it sounded but helpless to the control he had over your body with just two fingers and his tongue.
His rhythm wasn’t all that fast but it was relentless, the exact tempo you needed for that pleasure to build and build, toes curling and vision getting all spotty— you tried to look down at him sometimes, but your head wanted so badly to tilt back and let everything go black.
“I— oh, fuck— I’m gonna— fuck, Joel!” you sobbed, grabbing on tighter to his hair; you took one glimpse at it, and when you saw the scattered silver hairs peeking out from between your fingers, it just made you even more overwhelmed.
He hummed and looked up at you, encouraging you— his fingers pumped faster and faster suddenly, and when it hit, you felt like your whole body was going numb.  It started where he was touching you, but then a moment later it was in your head, then it was just running all over and you were too weak to do anything but give into it.
Suddenly it became too much, and the hand that had been holding him down by his hair was suddenly pushing him away; you blinked away the spots in your vision to catch a glimpse of him with that beard soaked in you, but his fingers hadn’t stopped yet.  “Oh… ohhh my god…” you whined, breathing harder than you could ever remember breathing before, your head getting all dizzy and cloudy as he smirked up at you and continued fucking you with his hand.
Your hole was pulsing, flexing over and over, waves of slick leaking out until you could feel the puddle spreading under you.  Your cheeks burned with humiliation, even though he kept praising you as his fingers milked everything from your swollen spot.  "Good girl, good girl," he said over and over, "fuck, good job, soak the sheets, baby— soak my fingers, keep going…"
"Joel," you sobbed, desperate for some relief from the overwhelming sensation.  He didn't really stop, just slowed down a lot, but he kept twisting his fingers and rubbing that one place until your quivering body collapsed completely onto his mattress.  And then he went on for just a little bit longer after that.
Then he stopped.  When you thought you might fucking pass out.
He climbed up your body and brought his two soaked fingers to your slack lips.  
"You want a taste, too, baby?" he purred.
You dutifully opened your mouth and did your best to clean his fingers off, sucking and licking as he hummed a bit; his eyes got a little darker as he felt your tongue run all over his rough fingers.
"What do you think?" he prompted when he pulled his fingers away, and you swallowed as you made a little face.
"I dunno if I like it," you admitted nervously.  "Kinda sour."
"Really?  I think your pussy's fuckin' delicious."
Your face flushed, but you didn't say anything else because he was reaching down to hold his cock again— and your heart started racing.
"Ready to do this the right way?" he prompted, and you nodded eagerly.  "S'gonna feel so much better, now you're all ready for me.  Ready for something this big inside ya— but it might still sting at first, okay?  Just hold onto me tight."
That you did, tighter than you thought you could— apparently you were stronger than you realized, especially considering that orgasm nearly took you out a minute ago.  But you had to hold on that tight as he began to push that fat head inside you, stretching you so wide before he'd even gotten the ridge of it past your opening.  It didn't sting like before, or at least not as much, but it was still completely overwhelming.  You forgot to breathe until he was halfway in: you gasped out his name, reminding yourself he was inside you and above you and everywhere, everything.
"See how much— fuck— how much easier it is now?" he grunted, sliding into you slowly until his hips met yours.  "See how you're takin' all'a me?  God damn, still tight as hell, though."
You were delirious already, he hadn't even moved yet.  You didn't think it could get much better than his mouth on you, than coming because of him, but this?  This perfect stretch, this addictive friction, knowing he was completely inside you and that he liked how you felt?  This was ecstasy, bliss.  And he hadn't even fucking moved yet.
"Gonna have a hard time being gentle with you now," he admitted with a growl beside your ear.  "You've got one of those perfect little pussies that just needs to be fucked hard— suckin' me in, just beggin' for it rough and fast."
"Joel," you whined, "fuck me however you want, please… I can take it, I swear, I want you so bad…"
Still, when he moved, it was slow and patient.  Too goddamn slow.
"Fuck," you sobbed, back arching up off the bed as he carefully savored every detail of you.  "Fuck, Joel, I can't— I can't believe you're— I can't believe it's you.  I wanted you so much I couldn't fucking breathe."
He smiled at you, and leaned in to kiss your neck; you let out what could only be described as a joyful whimper.  “Wanted you too,” he finally admitted.  “Tried not to, you’re so young… jus’ couldn’t help it after a while.”
"Faster," you whined, "please, fuck, please please—"
"You are so goddamn spoiled, you know that?" Joel grunted— but then he did it, he fucked you even faster than you'd imagined.  His thrusts were still deep and long, but they came at you quicker than you could process and you nearly screamed.  
You were even more sensitive after he’d made you come the first time; it was just overwhelming, the feeling of him, and you felt like your mind had left your body— like your mind had left you entirely.
“Y’feel fuckin’ perfect, darlin’,” he praised lowly, kissing your neck with all the gentleness and patience his thrusts lacked.  “So good for me.”
Maybe it was pathetic, but being good for him felt fucking amazing— not just physically, obviously.  It felt like having a purpose; you’d never really felt that before.
You lost track of time; honestly, you lost track of everything.  Everything that wasn’t this had fallen away, and it was just you holding on for dear life as Joel wrecked you all over again with every motion.  "Hear that?  How wet you are for me?" he groaned, and yes, there was a squishy-wet sound that filled the room with each thrust.  You tried to answer him, say something witty about how he made you that wet so many times, but only moans came when you opened your mouth.  "I asked you a question," he reminded you.  "Can you fuckin' hear it?"
Whimpering, you could only bite your lip and nod.
"Oh," he smiled, "I see— you get stupid with cock in you, huh?  Get fucked right and that silly brain just turns off?"
You nodded again— wasn’t much else for you to do.
"Just gonna be a dumb whore for me now?" he asked.  "Just kidding, I know you already were."
“Fuck— Joel—” you choked.
"No no, it's okay— it's good,” he soothed you, kissing a tear from your temple that you hadn’t even realized was there.  “You don't need to think.  I don't need you to think.  You can just be my fucktoy, okay?  You can just be my slut.  Say it."
"I-I'm your slut, Joel…"
He hummed appreciatively; your moan caught in your throat, and you tried to hide your face in his shoulder— you couldn’t believe he was still dressed, for all you knew he still had his boots on, and meanwhile you were stripped of everything.  Not just your clothes: you were stripped of all pretense (didn’t need it) and dignity (didn’t want it).  You’d thought of yourself as his for quite some time now, but now that he’d really made you his, it was more than you could’ve imagined.
When you came with him inside you, it wasn’t like how it was before— definitely similar, obviously the same thing at the core of it, but very different.  Before it was so… sudden, like a firework going off and then glittering into darkness (at least, that was how you understood fireworks to be, you’d only ever had them explained to you).  This was more like a deep pressure that just built and built and built, and then at some point you’d crossed that threshold and you were there but it didn’t go away, it just stayed at the peak while he kept moving inside you.
He grunted as your walls beared down on him, watching the tears of ecstasy stream down your face.  “Tryin’ to milk my cock, huh?” he accused with a snarl to his tone.  “S’that what you want?”
You weren’t really paying attention, you couldn’t while he was fucking you like that.  Digging your fingers into his shoulders through the flannel shirt, you just whimpered and nodded.
“S’workin’, baby,” he smiled, “little pussy’s got me so tight— is it a little too much, honey?  You’re cryin’...”
“I— I always cry,” you sniffled.
“M’not gonna make you take too much more,” he promised, “doin’ so good honey— gonna let you rest soon—”
“No, d-don’t stop,” you begged, and he laughed a little.
“I’m close,” he explained, and even though that should’ve been obvious, it made you feel better.  “Normally takes me a little longer, but… never had a pussy like this.”
That was probably just flattery, but you were happy to believe it.  Happy enough to just lay back and let that pleasure wash over you, but of course, he expected more of you than that.
"Tell me where I can come," he ordered.  
"Fuck, Joel— anywhere you want, anywhere," you pleaded, struggling to keep your train of thought but desperate to appease him as best you could.
"Inside you?" he pressed.
"Yeah, fuck, anywhere," you insisted.
"I bet that's what you want— you want it inside.  You want this cunt full and dripping."
“Fuck— yeah,” you agreed, “s’what I want— please, please—”
“Shh, don’t need to beg,” he assured sweetly, kissing your neck again— burying his face in the crook of your shoulder, until his panting breaths echoed on your skin.  “Don’t need to beg, darlin’, gonna fill you nice and deep—”
“Please,” you said again, ignoring his assurances.
“Just like you need it—”
“Please, Joel— love you so much,” you sobbed, your thighs starting to go a little numb where his jeans were rubbing against them and your clit getting sore from the way he stayed deep inside and grinded himself against you.
“I know,” he promised again, “jus’ say it one more time.”
“I love you, Joel,” you cried, and it was over somewhat suddenly: he stayed still, and you could feel his grip on you tighten, and you heard that sound that was like a groan and a sigh at the same time.  You’d hoped you’d be able to really feel it inside you, the warmth of his come, but everything was so hot that it was all the same— what you did feel was full, even more than you had just from his cock in you, and it was enough to make you clutch at his shoulders again despite having almost no energy left in you.
Though he stayed inside for a little while after, he did eventually have to pull out; you were too exhausted to even think about trying to close your legs when he stared down at you— at his come leaking slowly from your hole.
You knew there would need to be a conversation soon about what this all meant— what should happen now with the business, with your relationship, even just what should happen tomorrow morning since you’d both given in to instinct rather than take the safer route and have Joel pull out…
But that would have to wait; you still couldn’t think straight, you couldn’t think about anything but him in fact.
Thankfully, Joel was just fine with the silence.  He just held you, let you wander between sleep and wakefulness, and wiped that last stray tear away from your face.
“I’m sorry I keep crying,” you offered quietly, breaking a long silence.
“I don’t mind,” he promised.
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anitalenia · 6 days
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౨ৎ‧₊˚ ⋅ 𝙧𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙤𝙢 𝙢𝙤𝙣𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙛*𝙘𝙠𝙚𝙧 𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙢𝙥𝙩𝙨 ( • 𝙙𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙘, 𝙛𝙡𝙪𝙛𝙛, 𝙣𝙨𝙛𝙬, 𝙨𝙛𝙬 • ) ₊ ⊹.𖥔 ݁ ˖
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꒰ঌ ⋆.˚ mummified, Egyptian pharaoh comes back to life millions of years later ⟡ ࣪ ˖
꒰ঌ ⋆.˚ mermaid boy (merman) takes you to his secret cove after saving you from a shipwreck ⟡ ࣪ ˖
꒰ঌ ⋆.˚ ghost /phantom takes care of chores while you’re gone and helps you with anything you need (making your bed, brushing your hair, skincare, etc.) ⟡ ࣪ ˖
꒰ঌ ⋆.˚ siren sings you her favorite song ⟡ ࣪ ˖
꒰ঌ ⋆.˚ incubus teaches you how to touch yourself for the moments he can’t do it for you ⟡ ࣪ ˖
꒰ঌ ⋆.˚ succubus gives you a makeover ⟡ ࣪ ˖
꒰ঌ ⋆.˚ cat hybrid loves when you scratch behind their ears ⟡ ࣪ ˖
꒰ঌ ⋆.˚ bunny hybrid being too shy to talk to you and ask for what they want ⟡ ࣪ ˖
꒰ঌ ⋆.˚ vine monster always blooms your favorite flowers ⟡ ࣪ ˖
꒰ঌ ⋆.˚ orc husband needing his tusks sharpened ⟡ ࣪ ˖
꒰ঌ ⋆.˚ orc husband being a cry baby when it’s just the smallest scratch you’ve ever seen ⟡ ࣪ ˖
꒰ঌ ⋆.˚ constantly buying werewolf boyfriend new clothes because he shifts in the ones he’s wearing and rips them to shreds ⟡ ࣪ ˖
꒰ঌ ⋆.˚ vampire boyfriend who only likes feeding from you ⟡ ࣪ ˖
꒰ঌ ⋆.˚ witch girlfriend that makes you remedies and herb mixtures to heal your wounds because you’re a klutz ⟡ ࣪ ˖
꒰ঌ ⋆.˚ siren afraid of the sea and spends her time frolicking in lakes (idc if they’re supposed to be in saltwater it’s fantasy 😜) OR fresh water siren ⟡ ࣪ ˖
꒰ঌ ⋆.˚ merman teaching you how to swim ⟡ ࣪ ˖
꒰ঌ ⋆.˚ alien being confused on human biology and how you’re able to feel arousal ⟡ ࣪ ˖
꒰ঌ ⋆.˚ orc husband making you the best beef stew you’ve ever had ⟡ ࣪ ˖
꒰ঌ ⋆.˚ cat hybrid leaving dead things on your front porch ⟡ ࣪ ˖
꒰ঌ ⋆.˚ demon boyfriend with limitless power and influence whose too shy to talk to you ⟡ ࣪ ˖
꒰ঌ ⋆.˚ minotaur never letting you leave his maze ⟡ ࣪ ˖
꒰ঌ ⋆.˚ Angel having dirty fantasies about the object (person) of their desires ⟡ ࣪ ˖
꒰ঌ ⋆.˚ big, beefy, nerdy werewolf boyfriend helps you with your science homework ⟡ ࣪ ˖
꒰ঌ ⋆.˚ plant monster bursting with beautiful flowers every time you kiss them ⟡ ࣪ ˖
꒰ঌ ⋆.˚ sleep paralysis demon taking your virginity ⟡ ࣪ ˖
꒰ঌ ⋆.˚ sexy circus freak fingers you in his tent after the show ⟡ ࣪ ˖
꒰ঌ ⋆.˚ monster boyfriend who doesn’t fit in your home and constantly has to slouch, his horns scratching your ceiling and head banging into the lights, constantly knocking things over ⟡ ࣪ ˖
꒰ঌ ⋆.˚ fire bending boyfriend / girlfriend always having such warm hands & hugs ⟡ ࣪ ˖
꒰ঌ ⋆.˚ ice princess whose breath comes out frosted and wears gloves as to not freeze everything they touch ⟡ ࣪ ˖
꒰ঌ ⋆.˚ demon king who leaves hell very frequently to visit the girl of his dreams. she can’t go down to his fiery domain / human or angel girl ⟡ ࣪ ˖
꒰ঌ ⋆.˚ vampire s/o who overindulges in blood and must go to vampire rehab 😜 ⟡ ࣪ ˖
꒰ঌ ⋆.˚ shy succubus who has never felt the touch of anyone ⟡ ࣪ ˖
꒰ঌ ⋆.˚ yandere guardian angel who kills any potential suitors until you realize they’re the only one for you ⟡ ࣪ ˖
꒰ঌ ⋆.˚ yandere pack of werewolves that kidnap you for themselves to use as they please ⟡ ࣪ ˖
꒰ঌ ⋆.˚ demon king’s butler who believes he can service you more than the king can ⟡ ࣪ ˖
꒰ঌ ⋆.˚ demon princes taking turns with their favorite maid ⟡ ࣪ ˖
꒰ঌ ⋆.˚ warlock boyfriend teaches you how to cook ⟡ ࣪ ˖
꒰ঌ ⋆.˚ vampire girlfriend squeamish about killing the little bunnies who hop in her backyard and would much rather kill people because bunnies are too precious ⟡ ࣪ ˖
꒰ঌ ⋆.˚ monster boyfriend who can read your mind but doesn’t tell you, just likes to listen to your dirtiest thoughts and act them out later ⟡ ࣪ ˖
꒰ঌ ⋆.˚ gothic hardcore werewolf girlfriend takes cute and precious bunny hybrid girlfriend to rock concert ⟡ ࣪ ˖
꒰ঌ ⋆.˚ buying your big bad alpha werewolf husband baby kittens because he loves cats ⟡ ࣪ ˖
꒰ঌ ⋆.˚ forcing your orc husband into wearing Christmas sweaters with you ⟡ ࣪ ˖
꒰ঌ ⋆.˚ bull hybrid boyfriend being stereotypically hotheaded and always getting into silly fights ⟡ ࣪ ˖
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lara-kaminari · 1 year
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Another person in the room // Ominis Gaunt x F!Reader
Summary: Things weren't supposed to turn out like this, this situation doesn't even make sense, what would Ominis gain from this, why involve Sebastian?
Warnings: Light Angst, +18, explicit content. Ominis Gaunt x F!Reader, Sebastian Sallow x F!Reader, one-shot
A/N: Nope, English is not my first language.
MC looked at the shredded parchment on top of the desk. The paper was crumpled and torn from the number of times she'd mishandled it to get rid of the evidence without employing her wand since pulling it out in the middle of class would be too conspicuous. Perhaps she could have solved that inconvenience in another way if it weren't for the fact that it was a surprise: The message appeared in the pocket of her robe, just as she was reaching for a mint to help her focus on the boring History class.
Ominis wanted to meet her again in the prefects' bathroom tonight after curfew.
MC had started talking to him earlier in the year, it was inevitable. The close friendship between the blond boy and Sebastian forced them into a relationship thanks to the new circumstances. The two were always together in the library and eventually started to get along. Ominis was a quiet and reserved student. She excelled in Charms, a subject MC often frowned upon. Ominis had offered to tutor him and it was there, in the library, that they shared a more personal talk.
Ominis was very close to Sebastian, he probably had more right than MC regarding what was best for him. However, she... Well, it wasn't just friendship that controlled MC's actions. Sebastian was special.
Yes, a special boy who was pursued by almost the entire student body of the school.
She was special too, or at least special enough that a little "slip up" had allowed her to spend a night together with who she considered to be a mere high school romance. There wasn't much romance or affection in the following encounters, though neither was she the victim of mistreatment or attitude changes. Sebastian is Sebastian. He wanted to enjoy himself and thought his friend was a good choice for that because, and in her words, she said, "I feel more confident doing it with you, we know this has no future so there's no pressure."
MC was suffering because there are supposed to be more important issues to focus on other than love turmoil that will get her nowhere. She kept telling herself how pathetic it is to wander the halls lamenting over a guy who she then invites to Hogsmade for a butterbeer because, "That's what friends do."
It was in one of those encounters, just as Sebastian was walking away to talk to a girl who caught his attention in the distance, that Ominis appeared behind MC.
—You smell like salt. —He said, suddenly.
—What?
—You smell like salt, you cry too much.
—What the hell are you saying? —MC remembers touching his face subconsciously, as if she was afraid that the ghost of his crying was really there.
—If you keep this up then Sebastian will soon realize.
—I don't know what you're talking about, but I recommend you stay away from what doesn't concern you.
—It's sad. —Ominis said, ignoring the girl. —It must be stressful for you, I know Sebastian and the things he does? It must be depressing for you to end your stay at school having saved yourself for a man who only uses you when....
—Ominis!
—Did I go too far?
—You are not the one to talk about my personal relationships; it seems to me that all this time I have been kind and respectful to you so I will ask you not to cross a boundary of the poor trust we have built, it doesn't suit you.
—Why doesn't it suit me? —Ominis asked. —I'm just trying to...
—Do you think I'll listen to the babblings of a blind, virgin child?  
Ominis smiled, it seemed to have been funny to hear the girl talk to him like that.
—Do you think I'm a virgin?
—I know you are.
—Why don't you find out? I mean, after all you have that choice or wait for Sebastian to notice your existence? He's still not coming back, is he?
In that Ominis wasn't wrong, Sebastian seemed to have forgotten about MC a long time ago.
After that day, the relationship between Ominis and MC was now complicated. MC couldn't decide where she stood with him. She enjoyed meeting with Ominis. He was a strong and complete lover. Every encounter always left MC satiated and wanting more. She had strange feelings for Ominis, but she didn't love him.
And he certainly didn't love her. Ominis had a... particular taste when it came to sex. In fact, if MC had to label the boy's inclinations, he'd say he was pretty kinky. Yes, that described Ominis perfectly. Ominis, the silent, perverted Slytherin.
MC looked across the Great Dining Hall at dinner time. As he looked at the Slytherin table, a pair of milky eyes lifted from their lowered position and it seemed as if he was looking directly at her. He smiled as if sensing her, causing her to look away and blush.
—Are you all right, MC? —Sebastian asked, noticing the strange expression on her face.
—Yes, everything's fine.
He arched an eyebrow before walking over to her table.
MC bit her lip. She would definitely look for Ominis later that night. She couldn't say no. She didn't want to say no. When she looked over to the Slytherin table, she saw that Ominis was talking to Sebastian.
Now she just needed to wait until the evening.
Fortunately, the hours passed quickly and soon curfew arrived. MC had just come out of hiding and planted an alibi, so he quickly made his way to the prefect's bathroom. Her heart was pounding as she did so. She was always nervous about getting caught. However, she could make up some excuse as to why she had gotten up late.
Besides, getting caught was part of the fun, wasn't it? The threat of someone catching them in the act added to the excitement. Her body buzzed with anticipation. She knew Ominis loved having sex in public spaces. Once, the two of them played under the Quidditch bleachers while a match was going on. One of the best orgasms of her life.
She whispered the password and then went into the bathroom. MC took a few steps before someone tapped her on the shoulder.
—Hello.
—Hello, Ominis. —She turned around and wrapped her arms around his waist. She noticed that his milky eyes looked more beautiful than usual. It was almost magical. —How was your day?
Ominis shrugged.  
—The same as usual. —He pulled her to him, so that she was now pressed against his body. —It's about to get a lot better. —Ominis lowered his head and kissed her gently. —I've missed you.
She blushed.  
—I've missed you too.
Ominis smiled. He took her hand and pulled her toward the bathroom. The tub was already full and frothy bubbles covered the top. MC's sense of smell allowed her to distinguish that the bubbles smelled of lavender and muskmelon. Ominis loved those scents.
—Get undressed. —Ominis ordered, his eyes darkening with desire. Now they were standing near the edge of the bath.
MC swallowed hard. Slowly, she pulled her sweater up over her head. Then she unbuttoned her blouse, not breaking eye contact with Ominis throughout the process. Once she was alone in her bra, she unbuttoned her skirt and let it fall to the floor. She took off her shoes and pulled down her stockings. After removing them, she stood in front of him in her bra and panties.
Ominis' fingers ran over her body delicately, caressing the bare skin with his fingertips until he touched the fabric that remained undisturbed.  
—MC... —He said slowly, sending shivers up and down her back. —I thought I told you to get undressed.
She bit her lip. Reaching behind, she unclasped her bra and slid the straps off her shoulders. After placing her bra with the rest of her clothes, she slowly removed her panties. Now she stood in front of Ominis completely naked, the cold air hardening her nipples.
The door was open. MC knew that, at any possible moment, someone could walk in and see them. Her heart was pounding in her chest, adding to the mix of emotions she was feeling; excitement, nervousness, desire.
—Get in the tub. —Ominis ordered.
MC quickly did as he told her. Ominis liked to be in total control, which she didn't mind. She liked to do what Ominis told her...it always put her in the mood.
Slipping into the bathroom, she sighed into the warm water.  
—Are you coming in? —She asked her companion.
—Of course. —He said, rolling his eyes. Using his wand, he removed his school robes. —Why wouldn't I come in?
MC shrugged.
—I love fucking you in the bathroom. —Ominis said, his voice husky as he pulled her closer to him. Their naked bodies touched causing each of them to let out a small sigh of satisfaction. —There's something about you and water that makes me hard.
She let out a low chuckle, touching the boy's erection with confidence. His cock was really hard.
—Do you want me, MC?
—Yes. —She answered honestly. MC looked at him with desire in her eyes. —Touch me, please.
Ominis smiled as he slid his hand between her legs. He quickly caressed her clit, enjoying the soft moans she was making.
—Ominis. —she moaned.
Ominis greedily captured her lips in a kiss. He continued to caress her, knowing she was more than ready for him.
When their tongues entangled, she moaned. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him to her. Her hand ended up crushed between them, but MC didn't care. She rocked her center against his straining erection and let out a small choked cry. They both pulled apart.
—Fuck me, MC.  —Ominis ordered breathlessly. —I need you now.
MC bent down as she brought one leg up against her hip and grabbed Ominis cock. She guide him to her entrance and let out a moan as he positioned himself fully inside her. Moving her hands around his neck, she pushed against him.
Ominis grunted and began to thrust inside her. He gripped the edge of the tub in an attempt to keep his balance.  
—Wrap your legs around my hips.
She did so, sighing at the new position.
—Merlin, Ominis.....
He smiled.  
—You like that, don't you?
—Of course. —She answered, breathless.
Ominis fucked her slowly, penetrating her with purposeful movements. His eyes watched the pleasure on her face as she moaned and groaned.
Suddenly, the prefect's bathroom door opened.
MC and Ominis stood still. Footsteps were heard. The person walked towards the shower.
—Ominis. —MC hissed. Water splashed, causing whoever was walking to stop.
—Who's in there? —a voice shouted.
Ominis smiled. He recognized his best friend's voice.  
—It's just me, Sebastian.
—Is it okay if I take a shower? —Sebastian asked.
—Of course. —Ominis answered, with a smile still on his face. —I'm enjoying my bath.
—Well, go on then. —Said Sebastian, with a hint of humor in his voice.
MC let out a sigh of relief when she heard the shower water turn on.  
—Did he see us? —She whispered.
—You tell me. —Ominis said.
—That side of the bathroom is dark.
—Sounds like we're safe.
—I'd better go while he's distracted. —MC muttered. —I don't want him to catch me.
—Don't talk nonsense. —hissed Ominis. —We'll be done when you and I are completely fucked.
—But-
He shushed her with a passionate kiss. Ominis pushed inside her roughly, enjoying the way she bit down hard on his lower lip. He turned and heard her stifled moan. He smiled, knowing he was hitting that sweet spot deep inside her.
MC moaned and gasped, trying to keep quiet. She didn't want Sebastian to hear them. However, Ominis was fucking her too well and she simply couldn't help it. She gasped as she felt her inner walls flutter around his length. She dug her nails into his shoulder as his orgasm slammed into her. Each deep thrust made his pelvis graze her clit. It was almost too much for MC to take.
Ominis felt her contract in ecstasy. She was beautiful. He always thought MC was beautiful, but in moments like these, she was beautiful. There was nothing more precious in this world than her.
—Do you want him to listen to you? —Ominis joked. —Do you want Sebastian to know what he's missing? Do you want to tell him that you never needed him and that you pretended to be a good friend while you fucked his best friend in secret?
—Ominis, stop it...
—He's here, why don't you just let yourself listen?
A well-crafted move forced MC to be loud, he too cum with a choked cry, crumbling as her name left his lips repeatedly. Pleasure rippled through his entire body, leaving him breathless.
They both gasped, each trying to breathe in as much air as possible to catch their breath.
MC again smelled of salt and no longer cared to hide, she had been discovered anyway. She ran out, soaked from head to toe, covering herself only with her tunic and without looking back. Ominis didn't know what to say, she wasn't thinking either.
—Ominis, what have you done?
Right, there was another person there.
2 notes · View notes
bruhstories · 3 years
Text
Fate
Summary: The Abduction of Persephone or how Levi couldn’t get you of his head.
Pairing: Hades!Levi x Persephone!Reader
Warnings & Content: nsfw, mentions of rape & incest (cause, you know, Zeus is a fucking entitled asshole and nobody fucking likes him), unprotected sex, oral sex (male receiving), fingering, language, loss of virginity
Word Count: 5.1 k
A/N: literally the only thing I have to say is that for the purpose of this fic, Hanji has she/her pronouns, and the first few paragraphs are written in third person xD happy reading!
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Help me...
Please...
Help... me...
Sweat drips from his forehead and his eyes shoot open. That damned dream again. That sweet voice again. Levi Hades can't comprehend why he was dreaming. Gods don'tdream. His bed seems empty, but he never needed anyone in it. For some reason, now he feels like someone is missing. He gets up, naked body and blank eyes watching over his realm from the balcony of his castle. Empty. Other than the souls of the dead that quietly dance around like little flames, it's empty. Other than Cerberus sleeping peacefully, it's empty. And so damn cold. Mortals mistaken the Underworld for a scorching hot place, but in reality, it's as cold as Levi Hades' heart. If he even has a heart.
He wraps his toga around his sculpted body, a wreath of laurels on his coal-black hair, donning his arms with silver bracelets and rings. Time doesn't exist in the world of the dead, but Levi Hades sticks to a strict schedule. He waves his hand and a scroll and quill magically appear on his marble desk. He can't trust Hermes with this message, and so he gives it to one of his dogs to deliver it to Hanji Hecate. Who better to interpret the meaning of his dream than the goddess of witchcraft herself? LeviHades surrounds himself in thick, grey smoke before he disappears from his bedroom.
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Somewhere on Earth, Y/N Persephone is being watched by Zeus. The powerful god cannot resist such a beauty, and he is known for having his way with anyone, even his own daughter. But it's not her time, he thinks, not just yet. She knows this, she knows what will happen to her when she reaches the age of marriage, and at night, when not a soul is awake, she sobs and prays that someone will find her and help her. She is willing to do anything to escape her father's clutches and her dark future. And every night she cries, it rains — it pours.
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At the outskirts of the Underworld, Hanji Hecate receives a message. She reads it carefully, and a knot forms in her stomach. The goddess heard the pleas of a girl, whom she believed to be a mortal, but if Levi Hades heard her, too, then it could only be another deity. HanjiHecate closes her eyes and performs a spell in the hopes of locating the desperate girl. It doesn't work. It doesn't work because, unbeknownst to her, Demeter is hiding her daughter from the preying eyes of Zeus.
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They searched for weeks, mortal weeks, for the crying goddess, but none of them had any luck. Y/N Persephone is somewhere in the shadows of Demeter, but even she knows her mother can't protect her forever. Zeus gets what Zeus wants eventually. The sun rises over the meadow, but Y/N Persephone doesn't know that because she's stuck weaving in a cave, sweat dripping down her forehead, hairs sticking to her face. The drakons Demeter placed at the entrance of the cave followed Y/N Persephone outside, guarding her as she washes herself in a nearby stream. He isn't supposed to be there. Levi Hades isn't supposed to peer at her naked body and the way she splashes the crystal-clear water. He was supposed to meet with Hanji Hecate and take a walk. He was supposed to go back to the Underworld after that. Yet here he is, spellbound by her gestures, her face, her eyes. And then, she sings. Y/N Persephone begins to sing and all the flowers around him bloom. Levi Hades goes into a shocked state, eyes wide open, brows raised. He knows that voice. He knows it because he's been dreaming it. His scent is picked up by the drakons and he disappears, leaving behind a trail of smoke.
"I found her, Hecate. I found her, but I can't get close to her."
"What do you mean you found her? Just like that?" Hanji Hecate's fingers trace the bark of a tree.
"It was fate. It must be." Levi Hades is desperate now.
"Calm down, Hades. I've never seen you so... twitchy." She laughs, kneeling in the grass. The witch plays with some fallen leaves, brown hair flowing in the wind.
"That's because you didn't see what I did. She started singing and flowers bloomed! I don't know what kind of nymph she is, but she is beautiful. Nothing like I've ever seen before."
"Oh, I never thought I'd live to see the day Hades falls in love." Hanji Hecate laughs again. "So why didn't you approach her?"
"Tch, because she was surrounded by drakons. I don't understand why a mere nymph would need so much protection."
The goddess gasps, all traces of happiness gone from her face, replaced by disappointment and anxiety. Levi Hades takes notice of this and places his cold hand on the witch's shoulder, but she flinches.
"You can't have her."
"You knowher?" His voice is condescending, offended that his good friend hid something like this from him.
"Hades, she's Demeter's daughter, Persephone. She's not just some nymph, but the goddess of spring." Hanji Hecate brings her palms together, forming a triangle. "We can't talk here."
Levi Hades nods and lets himself transported to the Underworld, back to the familiar souls lingering in the air.
"Talk, Hecate." He is impatient and demanding, arms folded across his chest.
"Zeus wants her, and Demeter and I are keeping her hidden." The deity explains with pain in her voice.
"Yes, well, you're not doing a very good job, now, are you?"
"Oi, the drakons noticed you. You don't think they would notice Zeus?" She snaps back, traces of arrogance in her voice.
"Hecate... it's Zeus. What would stop that brat from turning into a drakon fool her?"
The goddess shivers, shifting her weight from side to side.
"Do you have a better idea?"
"I do, actually. I'll bring Persephone here." LeviHades proudly states, but his face is still blank, not once betraying his true feelings.
"You'll... what?" Her mouth is slightly open, bewildered by the god.
"It's the only place Zeus doesn't have access without an invitation. Face it, Hecate, it's a good plan. Better than yours, anyway."
Hanji Hecate is speechless, completely at a loss for words. She ponders over the idea, a hand brought to her chin to think better.
"Alright, but what makes you think she'll just stroll through the gates of the Underworld without a complaint?"
"Oh, you've mistaken my words. I'll forcefully bring her here." He tilts his head, a semblance of a smirk on his lips.
"For fuck's sake, Hades, she's not what you'd expect. And what about me? I promised Demeter I would protect her!" HanjiHecate throws her hands in the air, her shadow taking the form of a raging dog.
"Do notchallenge me, witch. You know I can destroy you in the blink of an eye." LeviHades growls and her shadow restores itself to its natural shape. "Besides, you would still protect her. The Underworld is where you abide."
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She knows she shouldn't carelessly be out in the open one hour before her coming of age. But Y/N Persephone, with tears streaming down her beautiful face, embraced her future. She knows Zeus will come for her, and so she willingly gives herself to him. With poppy seeds, she put the drakons to sleep and left the cave, clad in a sheer toga, her body visible through the transparent fabric.
"If you want me, come and get me, father!" Y/N Persephone screams at the skies, the flora surrounding her slowly turning a dark shade of brown and dying, just like her innocence would die tonight. The earth shatters behind her, marigold flames and ashy smoke cracking open the soil. Shadowy figures emerge, grasping the young goddess' limbs and they drag her down, down, down to the Underworld. She is afraid, her heart beats faster as the moonlight disappears, and all she can see is darkness.
"I'm sorry I couldn't be gentler, but I didn't want Zeus to get the wrong idea."
"You're Hades, aren't you?"
"Yes, but please, call me Levi. Persephone, I presume." Levi doesn't smile, but his voice is warm, contrasting the cold that surrounded your body.
"Don't call me that." You spit back, confused as to why you were in his realm in the first place.
"You should be a little more grateful that I saved you, brat." He narrows his eyes down at you.
"Saved me? You abductedme. You're no better than him."
Hanji Hecate was right, you had fire in your soul, and an attitude that would drive Levi over the edge.
"Tch, don't compare me to that pretentious cock." The god scoffs and your expression softens.
"Zeus is a... cock? With a beak and feathers?" You giggle and he almost wants punch himself. How could he forget how innocent you are? Clearly, he's been spending too much time with Minthe.
"That's one way to put it."
"Is there another way?" You ask with your index finger brought to your lips, pure curiosity in your eyes.
"Forget that, you said you didn't want me to call you Persephone. How else should I address you?"
"Y/N." You tell him, eyes peering to the balcony of his castle and you skip to it. "Oh, this place is huge! What are those?" You point at the colourful flames dancing in the air.
"Souls." Levi joins you, resting his arms on the marble railing.
"They're beautiful!" You are in awe, and he is just as mesmerised by your beauty. Not one sane god or goddess would consider the souls of the dead beautiful.
"Look, Y/N, I heard you. In my dreams, I mean. I'm not going to hurt you, I brought you here to rescue you." He lies through his teeth. Levi did want to save you, he still does, but he can't deny the fact that he wanted you all to himself. "I'm gonna mind my own business, you mind yours. Try not to break anything. And don't, under any circumstances, make a mess out of my castle, or my realm."
You lean on the railing, nose scrunched and a hand on your hip.
"What am I supposed to do, then? And what about my mother? What about when spring comes and I have to bring it? What about Zeus?"
Levi grits his teeth, almost regretting his decision of saving you.
"Tch, I'll deal with Demeter. I'll tell Zeus I'm marrying you. You can go bring spring when it's due. Happy?" He pinches the bridge of his nose.
"And you won't taint my innocence?"
Oh, he will taint it, alright. But not just yet.
"I won't do anything you don't want me to do."
"You still didn't answer my first question. What am I supposed to do?" You shift your weight from one leg to the other, impatiently waiting for a proper answer from your captor.
"Anything you want, just don't get in my way when I'm dealing with the dead."
"You're an aggressive little man, you know that?"
Levi can feel a blood vessel bursting on his forehead. You were truly annoying, but he couldn't just sit around and wait for Zeus to have his way with you.
"Anyway, I suppose it is safer to be here." You rolled your eyes. "Got any books?"
"What, you read?" He snorts, a condescending brow arched.
"Don't patronise me. You're the one who abducted me, you could at least try to be nice to me."
Levi sighs. This wasn't how he imagined things would go. He imagined you'd make the perfect housewife and keep him some company.
"First floor. Just stay out of the restricted section."
"Why?"
"Because I said so. Zeus' beard, are you always this irritating?"
"Are you?" You chuckle, a hand hiding your smile.
With another sigh, Levi disappears, leaving you alone. "Great job, Y/N, you made the only person who took a crumb of pity on you to go away." You say to yourself, a pout on your lips.
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The Underworld wasn't as bad as you thought. Sure, there was the occasional fire popping from the ground here and there, and you had to be careful not to burn yourself, but overall, it was serene. Some parts of it were scorching hot, but mostly it was cold, and you always brought an extra cloak with you when exploring the realm. Levi wasn't always with you, in fact you haven't seen him in days, but you met his three-headed puppy. Well, puppy wasn't the best word to describe the creature, and it did try to eat you the first time, but you stood your ground and tamed the beast with your singing and eager belly rubs.
"This is a sight I never thought I'd live to see." Levi is shocked, watching his raging dog so calm. "Cerberus never lets anyone but me touch him." He gives the dog a few pats on his back.
"Well, Cerberus likes me better, don't you? Who's a good boy? You are, yes, you are!" You kiss all three muzzles and hug the gigantic beast, the heat of its fuzzy body warming you up.
"Oi, don't get ahead of yourself. Come here, Cerberus." Levi extends his arms and the creature is confused. "I said, come here."
The dog stops wagging its tail and plops next to you with a groan, one head resting in your arms. The shit-eating grin on your face is enough to make Levi sigh.
"See? I told you he likes me better." You poke your tongue out in triumph. You wave your hands and the god watches how you place three daffodil wreaths on each of Cerberus' heads. "Much better!"
"Y/N, he looks silly."
"No, he looks adorable! Here, I made you one, too."
Levi takes the flower crown and inspects it, careful not to crumble the petals.
"What is this?" He asks, marvelling at the beauty of the ice-blue colour of the plant.
"Uh, a flower crown?"
"Yeah, no shit. I meant what flower is this?"
"Oh, it's a blue poppy. One of the rarest plants in the world." You smile. "I think it suits you."
"You're an oddball."
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You sit in a lavish chair, all kinds of foods displayed on the table in front of you. Saliva pools in your mouth, but you decide to wait for Levi anyway. It's bad manners to start eating without the host, Demeter taught you that. Gods and goddess don't eat mortal foods, but sometimes they indulge in it, and tonight was one of those nights.
"Here, try this." Levi offers you a strange fruit, something humans have on earth, but different.
"What is it?" You poke your finger at the juicy fruit, sucking the sweetness from your digit.
"It's a pomegranate that only grows in the Underworld."
You pick at the seeds, popping one in your mouth. You couldn't believe something so good could grow in a cold place like this.
"So, what's the occasion?" You ask Levi as you eat three more seeds, the crimson juice staining your lips.
"Our wedding."
You accidentally swallow, choking on saliva and the pomegranate seeds, your fist hammering your chest as you gasp for air.
"What?"
"I told Zeus I'm marrying you and now he wants proof." Levi bluntly states, a chalice of nectar in his hand.
"No."
"You don't have a choice, unfortunately."
"But… I'm supposed to be a virgin. Marriage implies consumption of it." You slam your fists on the table. "My mother-"
"Your mother lied to you. You're a goddess of fertility for fuck's sake." He shrugs and you're shocked by how chilling his voice sounds. Sure, Levi was always brooding and silent, but now he was just inconsiderate. "However, I'm not a man who breaks his promises. I told you I won't do anything you don't want me to."
"Oh, how niceof you. I'm leaving." You stand up, pushing the chair away.
"And go where? Demeter can't protect you forever, and you don't stand a chance against Zeus."
"You know why I hate my name so much, Levi?" You growl, fingernails digging into the wooden table.
"Do, tell."
"Because it means destruction. A fitting name for a goddess of ‘fertility’, don't you think?" The table splits open and all the plates fall to the ground. Your normal, bubbly aura changes suddenly and there's a hint of red in your Y/E/C eyes. "You think I don't stand a chance against Zeus? I'm his offspring." You snap, and instead of flowers falling out of your hair, there's thorns, spikes and rusty leaves all over the place. The uglies, most poisonous plants sprout from the ground and you're no longer the goddess of spring, but the bringer of slaughter, and Levi is impressed. Now he really knows it was faith that brought you together, he knows your place is with him — with the dead.
"Marry me." He says, unmoved by your little show. Unmoved on the outside, because on the inside he wants to bend you over and fuck you silly. His words shouldfuel your rage, but you're too surprised by the fact that he still wants to marry you, despite your outburst.
"Why? Because Zeus wants that?" Vines protrude from your skin and your fingernails turn black. You were completely different than the helpless little girl he rescued that night. You were terrifying. But not to Levi — to him you were fascinating.
"Because I want that."
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It was safe to say you had fallen in love with Levi in those nine months since you came to the Underworld. He accepted you the way you were, he accepted your darkness, something not even your mother could do, and that's what triggered your feelings for the god of the dead. You still didn't allow him to call you Persephone, because you still hadn't fully embraced that part of you. Spring was almost due, but you promised Levi you'd go to earth after your wedding. Everyone would be there, including Demeter, which you haven't seen in a long time.
A soft knock interrupts your thoughts.
"Y/N, are you ready?"
"In a second, Hanji!"
"Oh, thank the gods for calling me that. I keep telling everyone I'm tired of Hecate but they don't care." The witch scoffs from the other side of the door.
"Has my mother arrived?" You ask, concern visible in your voice.
"Yes. And she's not happy."
"Hey," you open the door, "thanks for taking the blame and explaining things to her." You hug the goddess and she holds you tight.
"Don't worry about it, kid. It's me who should thank you. I don't know what you did to Levi, but he seems happier. He won't show it because he's a prick, but I can feel it."
You flash Hanji a genuine smile and ask her to fix your veil, to which she gladly accepts before escorting you to the castle grounds. Your mother should do this, but she hated her future groom, or your father, but he was a sick man who only decided to leave you alone because he respected Levi.
Every god and goddess of Olympus is here, even your uncle Poseidon. You emerge from the castle, arm looped around Hanji's and you smirk at Levi's shock. He never thought you could be more beautiful, yet here you are, dressed in silk, flowers on your hand and a thin veil clinging from the peony crown on your head. You catch a glimpse of Demeter before drifting your eyes to your future husband.
"Ladies and gentlemen, gods and goddesses, we have gathered here today to witness and bless the union between Levi, god of the Underworld, and Y/N, goddess of spring." Hanji proudly declares. The ceremony doesn't last too long, and when Levi's lips crush yours in what is your first kiss, thousands upon thousands of plants sprout from the soil, colourful flowers blooming and letting out the sweetest smells known to mankind. Love, he thinks, that's what love smells like.
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You're tired from the party, tired from all the talking and mingling, tired from your mother's lecture, and tired from avoiding your father. At least Hera was nice enough to wish you a happy marriage. You pace around your bedroom, sitting on the bed, then standing up again. Levi went to his chamber after the party, but you were expecting, no, you wanted to consume the marriage. You walk to his room, a toga lazily draped over your shoulders, and open the door without a single knock. He's in bed, the only light source being the colourful souls levitating outside his windows. You carefully push the covers and climb into the bed, gently scooching closer to him.
"Psst, husband, are you sleeping?" You poke his shoulder.
"Tch, not anymore." He sighs, not bothering to open his eyes and look at you. "What do you want?"
"Well, I'm glad you asked! Seeing as we're married now, I thought it's only natural for a wife to sleep with her husband." You roll on your side, propping yourself on your elbow. Tentatively, you tug on the fabric of the toga, exposing your shoulders and part of your breasts.
"So sleep." Levi finally lolls his head to the side, facing you. He did not expect to see you sprawled on his bed like that, in a lewd position and a playful smile on your soft lips. "You don't have to do this just because we're married.
"I'm doing it because I want to. And I know you want it, too, Levi." You purr, your fingers grazing over your collarbone.
"It's going to hurt." He warns you, but his hand is already on your thigh.
"I know. But you'll take good care of me, won't you?"
Levi has no idea which one of you is talking — Y/N, goddess of spring, or Y/N, goddess of destruction — and frankly he doesn't even care at this point. As long as he has your approval, he knows he can do whatever he wants. You pull him into a sloppy kiss, obviously inexperienced, but he likes it that way. He likes that you have no idea what you're doing because he can be in control. His hand runs up and down your thigh and you can feel heat building in your core.
"Tingles..." You mumble in his lips with a hazy smile.
"Have you ever touched yourself?" Levi pulls away and you nod. "Show me."
You feel embarrassed and small, but obey nonetheless. Your hand travels between your legs and your fingers touch your already swollen clit, rubbing it in circular motions. Levi watches you with hungry eyes, wanting very hard to abstain, but he can't, and so he takes your nipple in his hot mouth. You whimper at the new sensation, electricity shooting through your body as he snakes a hand between your thighs, two fingers diving into your cunt.
"Ah! L-Levi! So big!" You mewl and he throws his head back, releasing your poor nipple.
"That's nothing compared to what you'll get, you needy brat." He curls his fingers, hitting that sweet spot, and you buck your hips. Despite being a virgin, your body naturally knows what to do. Your spongy walls clench around his digits and Levi can already feel how tight you'll be around his cock. "You're so wet."
"Is t-that a good thing?" You're innocent and pure and you rock your hips back and forth, pathetic moans escaping your lips.
"Fuck, yes." Levi kisses you, and it's nothing like the kiss from your wedding. It's desperate and greedy, and he wants you all to himself. The pace quickens, he's pumping his fingers in and out of you faster and you don't know what to do, so you keep rubbing your clit and the familiar heat of your orgasm flushes through your body. You come undone on his hand, the sinful, squelching sound echoing in the bedroom.
"It didn't hurt at all!" You look at your husband, but there's a hint of mischief in your voice, a playful glisten in your eyes. Levi clicks his tongue, because the worst — and best — is yet to come, and you know it — you're no saint.
"Come here." Levi orders and yanks you by the hair, his aggressive gesture sending a shiver down your spine and into your cunt. "Be a good girl and open that pretty mouth for me."
You obey and part your luscious lips and then you see his cock for the first time — thick and veiny, it slaps your face as it pops out of his undergarments, the tip grazing over your cheeks.
"Levi that's... that's too big." You chew your lower lip and lean back.
"You'll be fine. You said it yourself, I'll take good care of you." He cups your face with one hand, thumb caressing your chin. "Now suck it. Make sure to use lots of spit."
You feel your cheeks hot and test the waters by giving the glistening tip a few licks, tongue swirling around it. It tastes salty, and you find yourself liking this. Levi pats your head, but you feel him tensing with each movement of your tongue.
"Shit." He curses under his breath and when you look up at him with doe eyes, his heart pounds into his chest. You courageously take the tip into your mouth, and with hollowed cheeks, you move further. "Yeah, just like that. Take it all."
Bobbing your head up and down, you try to take it all, but the girth and length is just too much, and tears pool at your eyes from the lack of air, but also from how good it feels to have a fat cock in your mouth. Muffled moans reverberate in your throat, and Levi can feel the vibrations tickling him. He firmly grabs your nape and holds your head in place.
"Trust me and relax, can you do that for me?"
You half-nod, anxious and somewhat excited for what is about to happen. Your husband rocks his hips back and forth slowly before aggressively fucking your poor throat, and you feel the arousal building in your core again. So much for promising your mother you'd always stay a virgin. You want to touch yourself again, but Levi slaps your hand away and thrusts into your mouth, holding your head still until you choke, your fingernails digging into his arm. The god pulls out and you gasp for air, and he almost feels sorry when he sees your pathetic state.
"A-again!" You flash him your pearls in a sultry smile, spit dripping down your chin. Who knew you liked asphyxiation?
"Needy brat."
"Please!"
"Tch, later. Right now, I want to fuck you." Levi growls and he already has you pinned on the bed, arms above your head and legs spread open for him. His cock presses against your slick slit and you brace yourself for the incoming pain. "If you want me to stop, tell me."
You don't have the time to nod when you feel a burning sensation between your legs. Squeezing your eyes shut, you bury the back of your head into the pillow and grip the sheets so tight your knuckles begin to lose their colour. Levi slowly pushes further, another inch buried in your cunt, and you bite on your lower lip. But you don't tell him to stop, instead your spongy walls clench around his cock and another inch gets lost in you.
You never thought gods could feel such immense pain, yet here you are, with a bloody lip from digging your teeth into it and a sore pussy. But the worst thing faded bit by bit when Levi bottomed out into your cunt. The two of you sit still, your husband allowing you to get used to his girth.
"Do you think I bled?" You ask, eyes filled with tears.
"Probably, but I promise it will never hurt like this from now on." He comforts you before licking the blood from your lips. The gesture makes your cunt flutter and Levi takes it as a sign to go on. Slowly, he rocks his hips back and forth, and the molten pain is replaced by tingles and arousal.
"You good?"
"Y-yes, oh, f- yes!"
"You can say fuck, you know?" Levi thrusts once, and it's so deep you feel his cock brush over your cervix.
"Fuck!" You cry out, legs wrapping around his waist to make sure he doesn't pull out. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!"
"Good girl."
There's no more room for gentle touches and soothing words when your husband fucks you raw. Your hips buck against his to feel that sweet pressure you never knew you longed for. In and out, his cock makes you feel sore and hazy, and you want more. The sound of his balls slapping your ass makes your mouth water and your eyes glossy, and Levi feels selfish. He pulls out, turns you over and takes you from behind, like a rabid dog fucking a bitch in heat. And you are in heat — you love the way his thrusts make you feel dumb, the way his cock stretches you, the way he uses and abuses your tight little cunt. Everything is so new to you and you adore every bit of it.
"Shit, I'm close." Levi warns you, his fingers digging into your hips, and you want to be good for him, so you drag your hand between your thighs and rub your swollen clit in frantic motions.
"L-Leeevi! I think I'm-"
"Fuck!"
When you feel a hot liquid shooting into you, your legs begin to tremble and you come on his cock, head falling onto the pillow with a heavy sigh. He pulls out and you already miss the feeling of being full, your juices mixed with his own dripping down out of you, down your thigh. You curl up next to your husband, hand holding his arm before you drift to sleep.
A sweet smell fills Levi's nostrils and when he looks at your tired body, there’s flowers in your messy hair. He still can't get used to the way your divine, disorganised powers work, but at least now he knows what's been missing from his life, and the corners of his mouth slightly twist upwards into a genuine smile. The god of the dead, in love with and married to the goddess of spring. Order and chaos blending together in one beautiful, perfectly arranged mess.
It’s fate. It must be fate that brought you together — but it’s love that will keep you together.
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tagging @starrynightlys @stolemyheart12
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I love bully shiggy, but i love shiggy angst more, so could you write some bully shiggy angst where reader goes to live somewere else or just...dies or something? I need the bully to suffer of a broken heart hehehehe thank you!
your wish is my command. TW: death, violence, slight mentions of past noncon and past dubcon, angst, drugs
Most, if not all throughout his life, Shigaraki has always gotten what he wanted. Rich parents helped. His absurd talent for computer science helped, and when his parents were being especially annoying and threatening to cut him off-well thank god his crypto is going to the moon.
No, he couldn't say he was happy. But he wasn't sad either. Objectively, he knew he had a good life. Happiness is foreign to him, but thrills aren't. Mindless enjoyment isn't. He smokes skinny Korean cigarettes, snorts cocaine off glass tables, places acid tabs under his tongue, and fucks girls when he's high, sober, coming up, or coming down.
You were happy though. You were the kind of girl to be very grateful to live, the kind of girl who walked through life like the sun was shining on her, the kind of girl he hated and wanted to crush under his thumb.
No, that's a lie. He's never hated you. He could never hate his favorite toy no matter how many times she misbehaves.
So when you fucking died, of course, he didn’t believe it. Not at first. Not fucking possible. Not until he saw your fucking body, all twisted into grotesque angles because you were trying to save a stupid kid who was on the road when he shouldn’t have been. Fuck, out of everyone, at least you deserved a peaceful death.
And it’s so like you to throw yourself into oncoming traffic, trying to save other people. Always other people. The complete and utter opposite of him. He wasn’t even aware he had a heart, the metaphorical one that felt emotions because his real beating heart was a jumbled-up mess of pounding and vessels.
But all that adrenaline is gone now and there’s a hole where his heart is. A you-shaped absence imprinted on his body and mind. He was already so so numb but the flashes of feelings, the memories hurt. He smells your perfume in the scent of wildflowers and it drives him insane.
His drug habit had gotten exponentially worse. Days and nights blurred into frenzied chaos. How could he sleep when your voice on discord wasn’t the last thing he could hear before shutting his eyes? The cocaine has probably burned off the inside of his nose, and acid flashbacks wouldn’t be so bad if the patterns didn’t spell out your name.
How dare you leave him alone? How dare you? You were supposed to die whenever he dies. Your existence was meant to be alongside his.
His last straw is when he finally shows up to school and everyone looks at him with eyes of sympathy. It doesn't click until a reassuring hand is over his shoulder, “It’s okay, Shigaraki. We know you were good friends.”
He can’t stop laughing. Laughing and laughing until his jaw is going to unhinge itself. Everyone looks uncomfortable, perplexed by the sudden onslaught of never-ending laughter. A know-it-all voice chirps in the background, “...normal traumatic response.”
He excuses himself to the bathroom much to the relief of his classmates because they were not used to a manic Shigaraki, the boy who was usually cold and aloof. He grips the porcelain sink, laughing. He wonders why there are water drops falling into the basin. He wonders why he’s crying. And once the first few drops fall, the dam breaks. He’s sobbing.
How brain dead does everyone have to be to think you guys were friends. Yeah, Shigaraki was a great friend to you as he forced you to jerk him off. He was a great friend when he threatened revenge porn if you didn’t break up with your doofus boyfriend. And he definitely was a great friend, when he stumbled into your house high as balls, fully knowing you’d be alone that night and fucked you until you bled on your sheets. Victory tasted like your virginity on his dick that seemed like it would never soften.
Was everyone that blind to what you were going through? How much he hurt you? He wondered what you’d say if you here right now. You’d probably laugh too, wouldn’t you? Laughed until you cried and couldn’t stop crying.
Dabi and Hawks tried. They did. But they weren’t friends who sat around talking about their respective traumas despite being well too aware of how fucked up each other’s home lives were. But Shigaraki’s grief was different. Dabi tried to put himself in his blue-haired friend’s shoes. If Natsuo or Fuyumi died, he probably wouldn’t take it so well either. Still, he couldn’t fathom why Shigaraki would be so sad over some pussy, however tight it may be. Hawks especially could not understand, girls being replaceable him too like model cars—infinitely less valuable of course. The golden-haired boy had no frame of reference, but he did crash his Audi R8 which was his favorite car. Maybe that’s what Shigaraki is feeling, the loss of something very precious. (Maybe Hawks wasn’t too far off. Shigaraki did treat you like a possession.)
He visits your grave often, every day if he can. It’s beautiful, encased in obsidian and marble, gold lettering announcing the tragedy of your short life. He never learned what your favorite flowers were so he returns with a different bouquet each time. Today’s were pink carnations.
Much to his surprise, there was a figure already standing there. Your father, he recognizes. “You come at a time when no one else does so it’s hard to get a hold of you.” That was on purpose of course. He didn’t want to complain to you with an audience.
“I’m sorry I don’t know who you are but the way you come here every day with flowers, spending hours at a time you must have loved my daughter very much.”
His throat closes. He doesn’t know what to say.
Shigaraki cries more when he goes home, an avalanche of memories saturating his brain. Memories of your smile, your sarcastic quips, how he could never shut you up when you were talking about your favorite manga.
There’s a revolver in his desk. He could do it. Shoot his own brains out. Be where you are. His hands are shaking. Is he this much of a coward? You don’t care right, you wanted him to die right? For all the shit he did to you? You told him you had nightmares, that when you closed your eyes, all you could see was him.
But you were a bleeding heart. You’d never wish that upon anyone. Shigaraki looks out the window, wondering that if he could do it all over again, whether he’d be kinder to you.
No, he wouldn’t be.
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amazingmaeve · 3 years
Text
Cardigan ↠ Sirius Black
━ “i’ve missed you darling.”
summary ━ sirius and y/n were in love at hogwarts. then he cheated on her with her best friend marlene. a couple years later the two run into each other again.
warnings ━ angst, fluff, swearing, kissing
a/n ━ somewhat based on cardigan by taylor Swift, also no voldy au so lily and james are alive. Also one huge time jump.
word count ━ 3.6k
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“Sirius stop,” Y/N giggles as she thrashes on the bed. Currently Sirius was ticking her as moments before they were studying. She was supposed to be helping him in one of his classes but he got distracted.
Sirius looked down at his girlfriend with a smile appearing on his face. He truly did love Y/N with all of his heart. He began to press kisses all over her face, stopping his tickling.
“You know I hate that,” Y/N says with a smile referring to the tickling. He knew all the spots that would make her break out in a laugh.
Y/N sometimes wondered how she got together with Sirius. Before they met he usually slept around a lot while she wanted to save her virginity for someone important.
They had gotten paired for a charms assignment. Y/N would never admit it she was quite nervous about being with Sirius. She’s had a crush on him since their first year but he never really noticed her as Y/N didn’t like to be noticed. She usually kept to herself.
Except for her best friend Marlene. She helped Y/N and was always nice to her. She gave her the best advice that a friend could even ask for.
When the two started talking they realized that they had much more in common than Y/N thought. She thought Sirius Black was a narcissist fuck boy.
Y/N found out that he was witty, charming, and surprisingly nice to her.
Sirius always thought that Y/N was just some stuck up girl that thought she was too good for anyone. She came from a pureblood family so when she never talked to anyone he thought she was a pureblood supremacist. He found out that Y/N was smart, shy and didn’t like to have friends.
Sirius and Y/N started to enjoy the time they spent together. But the assignment would make them stop having interaction with each other.
Even after the homework they had done Sirius and Y/N decided to hang out more and soon more feelings developed. Y/N, who already had an attraction towards him, started to emotionally connect to him. Sirius, who thought Y/N was already hot, started to sympathize with her and her family problems since he had the same.
Soon Y/N met Remus, James, Peter, and Lily and soon started to connect with one another.
Sirius asked her out after James and Remus encouraged him to do so when the two figured out that his friend had feelings for the girl.
Y/N was on cloud nine when Sirius asked her out for the first time. At first she thought he was just planking her but soon realized he was very serious. With butterflies in her stomach she said yes to his question while a smile graced her lips.
Their first date was at Hogsmeade and it was magical to Y/N. Sirius kept making flirty comments all night making her feel more and more nervous.
The two talked and got to know each other more and at the end of the night Sirius kissed her before parting to their own rooms.
That night Y/N laid down with a dopey smile on her face. She felt the butterflies erupting in her stomach but she didn’t care. She felt like she was falling in love every second.
“I love you darling,” Sirius says softly as he lays on top of Y/N. She can feel the heat rise to her chest and cheeks.
“I love you more,” Y/N laughs her arms coming up to wrap around his neck. She gives him a cheeky smile playing with his hair on the back of his neck.
“Not possible,” Sirius says in disbelief. She was the light to his darkness in his life and he would never trade that.
“Uh how do you know,” Y/N asks as she sits up pulling him to a seating position. Her eyebrows furrowed in stubbornness.
“I just do,” Sirius says cockily and pulls her into a kiss straight after.
After the kiss she lays her head on his chest. Sirius pulls her hand to his intertwining their fingers.
They just lay there with Y/N on Sirius’s chest in a comfortable silence. His heartbeat calmed her down as she fell asleep on the boy's chest. Once realizing she’s asleep, Sirius kisses her forehead before attempting to leave her bed.
Only he couldn’t. Y/N had such a grip on him which made him stay. Sirius wrapped his arms around her and eventually fell asleep himself.
A few weeks later Y/N was alone in her bed wrapped in the blankets since it was especially cold. She let out a sigh as she rested her head on the pillow.
The night before the Gryffindors had thrown a party where everyone was drinking from the victory of the quidditch match. It wasn’t that much fun to Y/N.
Her and Sirius were supposed to have a date that night and she understood going to the party. But she’d expect him to at least talk to her that night.
Sirius spent most of the night talking and laughing to his friends. Y/N also saw him flirting with her best friend Marlene and she yelled at them before storming to her bed room.
She laid down and cried herself to sleep.
Now as she lays on her bed she might have blown things out of proportion. Maybe they were just talking and Y/N was just extremely jealous. Making something out of nothing she thought to herself.
She got up and got ready for her classes. It was early but Y/N wanted to go and see Sirius and apologize to him before classes began. She didn’t want her relationship with Sirius to be over because of one little spat.
Y/N treads across the floor to the boys room hoping that the other marauders were awake and somewhere else. Luckily she saw them walk to the main hall avoiding eye contact. That made her confused but she shook it off.
She sighed as she touched the door handle. She didn’t know what to say to him. ‘I’m sorry I didn’t mean to be a jealous girlfriend’ would that work? Hopefully she thought.
Y/N turned the door knob with a smile to greet Sirius with. The smile quickly faded as she noticed someone else in the bed with him.
“Sirius,” Y/N snapped loudly as the boy was still sleeping. He groaned cuddling into the girl even more making Y/N more and more angry. Once she got a look at the girl Y/N scoffed as she saw Marlene.
“Go away prongs I’m tired,” Sirius groaned thinking it was James.
Y/N rolled her eyes.
“Sirius,” Y/N yelled louder, her voice full of anger seeing the boy she was in love with and one of her best friends in bed. She had mixed emotions, sadness and anger were the main ones.
Y/N could see Sirius' eyes widen in shock as he realizes he’s not cuddling with the girl he’s in love with. And the girl who has his heart is standing at the foot of the bed with anger written on her face.
Marlene and Sirius move apart noticing the girl.
“Love this isn’t-,” Sirius began to defend himself and got his boxers on but was soon interrupted. Meanwhile Marlene got her clothes on and left knowing the two need to talk.
“Stop,” Y/N snaps. Her voice is harsh which makes Sirius flinch at the tone. “I just want to know one thing,” She asks, her voice dripping in sadness.
Sirius’s eyes stay on his lap not wanting to meet her gaze. He most importantly didn’t want to see the tears that were gonna form.
“Did you ever even love me,” She asks, feeling drained. That question makes Sirius’s head snap up and pull himself to his feet.
“Of course I do love, I do still love you,” Sirius admits, walking over to put his hands on her cheek. She moves her face away from his hands which makes his face sadden even more.
“I can’t believe that I was gonna apologize for being a jealous girlfriend. Turns out my instincts were right,” Y/N bites her lip to keep her tears in. She doesn’t want to cry in front of him.
“You don’t have to apologize for anything,” Sirius tries to reassure getting his school clothes on.
“We’re done,” Y/N snaps as she walks out of the room slamming the door making Sirius flinch again.
Sirius sighs and sits on his bed putting his hand in his face as tears gather. He didn’t mean for it to happen. It was just one drunken mistake.
When Y/N yelled at him he thought a good idea was to sleep with Marlene. That was his drunken reasoning. He can’t believe he did this. He hurt the person he most cares about and he can’t even do anything about it.
Sirius ran his fingers through his hair out of frustration. He ruined everything.
The rest of the day went by slow since Y/N had all of her classes with Sirius. It was hard seeing him and not talking to him. Marlene tried apologizing multiple times but Y/N shut it down not wanting to hear anymore excuses.
After a long day of school and avoiding people she realized that it was close to the end of her last year which was good. But the thought of not seeing Sirius still made her sad but quickly shut those thoughts.
She couldn’t keep thinking of Sirius. It hurt to think but Y/N was still in love with him which made some tears start to fall.
Luckily she was in the common room and most people were at Hogsmeade celebrating the end of the year. Y/N was happy since she took her N.E.W.T.s, which was hard since she took 8 of them, but she got significantly good grades. Even the good news of that didn’t make her feel any better.
She sat on the sofa putting her head in her hands letting the tears finally fall. She hated Sirius so much but Y/N couldn’t just stop loving him. He was in her life for a year and she can’t just erase that as much as she’d like to.
As Y/N quietly sobs into her hands Remus enters the room wanting to turn in for the night. But he stopped in his tracks as he saw her crying.
Remus knew the reason Y/N was crying. He cursed his best friend for breaking her heart and doing this to her.
He sighed and walked around to the couch to sit next to her. Remus opened his arms out for her. She accepts and lunges into his open arms crying into his chest.
“It’s gonna be okay,” Remus reassures using his fingers to put some of her hair behind her ear. She continues to cry through the heartbreak, her arms right around his waist.
“It hurts so much,” Y/N sniffles leaning up from his chest. Her eyes puffy and wet from the sobbing. “I thought he loved me.”
“He does, I know it,” Remus reassures her sternly. He knows Sirius screwed everything but Remus also knows that Sirius loves her and it was a mistake.
“He cheated on me. He broke my heart, my trust. How can you defend him,” Y/N looks at him in disbelief. When her and Sirius got together, he knew that she was a virgin and wanted to wait for someone who was special. And Y/N thought Sirius was that guy and she was going to let him.
Luckily she didn’t.
“He’s my best friend of course I’m going to defend him, but I’m not going to let him get a free ride for screwing up,” Remus explains softly and Y/N gets up as she scoffs.
“I can’t forgive him I just can’t,” Y/N whispers before walking away from Remus leaving him to think all alone.
Soon the ending of the year came and just like that four years passed.
For the last four years Y/N got a job as curse breaker and enjoyed the job. Other than that she didn’t do much, she didn’t have any friends except from work. She never got a boyfriend not trusting any guy that could potentially break her heart.
For a little while she kept in touch with James, Lily, and Remus. But soon enough they stopped calling so Y/N focused on her work.
Oftentimes she wondered what Sirius was doing, she also wondered what it would be like if he didn’t cheat on her. Would things be different? Would they be together? This is what Y/N usually thought about at night.
She shook those thoughts out thinking Sirius probably found a girlfriend and moved on. Y/N always thought she could move on but the wound Sirius left was big and no one could heal it so far.
So Y/N gave up on love at the moment.
After a long day at work she enters her flat. She stretches her arms and yawns, it was a hard day at work and very tiring. She sits on her bed and notices a note on the table besides her bed.
She furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. She reached her arm out to grab it and opened it. As Y/N read the letter she sighed as the words flowed in her mind.
A fucking reunion.
A reunion for all the people at Hogwarts and it was at Lily and James potters house. Y/N sat there for a few minutes contemplating on what to do. This could let her reunite with her teachers who were always proud of her. But on the other hand Sirius was probably going to be there and she wasn’t sure if she was ready for that.
She puts the letter down and runs her fingers through her fingers getting some of the tiny knots out. Fuck it she thinks. She’ll go. It’s a risk but hopefully it’ll be fun.
A few weeks later Y/N stands in front of James and Lily’s house straightening her dress out. The last weeks were stressful but luckily work kept her busy most of the time. At night she thinks, what will I do if I see Sirius. Run the opposite direction suggests to herself but rolls her eyes thinking she’s crazy for talking to herself.
She tried making herself look presentable and hopefully succeeded. She sighed as she raised her hand to knock on the door. It took a few minutes before someone answered and that someone was the one and only Sirius Black.
His smile soon faded as he saw who was at the door. In her head this was the worst luck that could have ever happened to her.
“Can I come in,” Y/N asks as politely as she can. Sirius nods opening the door wider to let the girl inside. As soon as she’s in she gets as far away from him as possible.
“Y/N you made it,” Lily says surprised as Y/N runs into her.
“Yep thought I might show up,” Y/N says awkwardly rocking on her heels. She shouldn’t have come think to herself. “Well I’ve got to use the toilet,” She says before running off to the bathroom.
She locks the door with a sigh. Y/N looks at herself in the mirror. She’s already ran into two people she didn’t want to see. This night couldn’t get any worse.
She takes a seat on the toilet rubbing her fingers through her hair feeling stressed out. God it’s going to be a long night. Before she leaves the bathroom she redos her makeup so it looks better after messing it up.
Once she opens the door she paints a smile on her face to pretend she wasn’t having a freak out moment.
For the rest of the night she avoids the marauders by talking to some teachers who wanted to know what she was doing now. And Y/N thought that was it nothing interesting was going to happen that night.
How wrong was she.
Y/N thought she should apologize to Lily for being so flighty so she looks through the rooms to see if the redhead is anywhere. What she finds is worse.
She opens a door to this room and sees Sirius making out with Marlene.
“Oh god I’m so sorry,” Y/N gasps running out of the room. Of course they got together. They would be a much better couple than they ever did.
Y/N knows she shouldn’t be upset. Her and Sirius were broken up; she can’t feel like this. Hopefully they’ll work out better than her and Sirius ever did.
After that Y/N couldn’t be there anymore. She didn’t want to talk to Sirius and it to be awkward so she left and apparated to her flat, she got her heels off. They were killing her feet all night and she sighs in relief as they come off.
She gets her sweat pants and t-shirt on and gets settled into bed processing everything that went on that night. Sirius and Marlene come to mind. Instead of being spiteful she hopes they have a good life and that she can finally move on from Sirius and be happy herself.
In the next week Lily calls surprising Y/N. She didn’t think Lily would like to talk to her after her and Sirius were over.
They scheduled a lunch at her house to talk and catch up since they couldn’t at the party. Y/N couldn’t say no, Lily was being so nice to her and she didn’t want to be a bitch.
“I can’t believe you have a kid,” Y/N happily laughs as she sees Lily with her son Harry. He was only a few months old.
“I can’t either, life goes on so fast,” Lily smiles, kissing the top of Harry’s head as he sits in her lap. “Now that you know what I’ve been up to, what have you been doing these past four years,” She asks curiosity gleaming in her eyes.
“Well I became a curse breaker,” Y/N fiddles with her fingers in her lap.
“Anyone special in your life,” Lily asks, taking a sip of her tea. Y/N sighs not wanting to say what a colossal failure her love life has been.
“Nothing much haven’t caught a guy's heart,” Y/N half jokes with a laugh. “But I just want to focus on my job,” She says in a more serious tone, looking Lily in her green orbs.
“Sirius asks about you,” Lily brings up the boy.
“I don’t understand why I saw him making out with Marlene at the party,” Y/N asks confused, why would Sirius ask about her when he’s dating someone else.
“They aren’t dating, it's just a friends with benefits thing,” Lily corrects. After Sirius broke Y/N’s heart she was mad at him for some time but soon realized that he knew what mistake he made. Lily knows he still loves Y/N, he just made a mistake.
Before Y/N could say anything, the door to the house opened as booming laughter came through the halls.
“Lily sweetheart-,” James calls out, entering the room and stops talking after seeing Y/N sitting there. Sirius and Remus follow soon after and Sirius can feel his heart stop as he sees Y/N sitting there.
An awkward silence flows across the room as Y/N keeps her eyes on the ground not wanting to meet Sirius’s eyes.
“We’ll give you some space,” Lily says comfortingly, taking baby Harry with her. When Remus or James don’t follow Lily comes back and hits them on the back of their heads. “Now,” Lily says sternly.
“I thought you loved me,” James says sarcastically following his love with Remus following him chuckling at his friend.
As soon as the three leaves Sirius makes his way towards the couch sitting next to Y/N whose eyes are still watching the ground. Sirius put his hand on hers the one on the couch.
“What do you want Sirius,” Y/N asks, tears gathering in her eyes. Sirius gives her hand a squeeze making her look up. He removes his hand from hers to put it on her cheek wiping the one tear that fell away.
“I’m sorry,” Sirius apologizes.
“Sirius it’s been years you don’t need to apologize all over again,” Y/N scoffs.
“Please just let me get this out and then you don’t have to see me ever again okay,” Sirius asks softly and Y/N hesitantly nods. “For the past years I regret not trying harder to get you back. And I know that you probably wouldn’t have taken me back but I should've tried. You were the love of my life, still the love of my life. I shouldn’t have let you down like this,” Sirius goes on and Y/N feels the same butterflies in her stomach from the first day she spoke to him.
“What about Marlene,” Y/N asks, remembering the party. Lily explained it to her; she just wanted to make sure she wasn’t covering for Sirius.
“Just a fling,” Sirius nervously chuckles. “You think we can try again,” He asks nervousness crawling in his stomach.
“Yes,” Y/N says a few seconds after he spoke. His eyes light up but Y/N puts her finger up. “But we take it slowly, we shouldn’t rush into this,” She explains. Sirius nods agreeing with her.
Sirius brings her into a hug. Y/N didn’t hug back at first but finally sank into his arms, resting her head on his chest. She can feel his heartbeat which calms the butterflies in her stomach.
“I’ve missed you darling.”
186 notes · View notes
ciggylungz · 4 years
Text
Eat your heart out
Blurb night- 1.8k words
(request: ok but what if u wrote one where y/n is a virgin and they finally did it after dating for months and then Harry's friends came to visit him and you overheard h talking how bad u are and all that angsty stuff...)
 Virginity
The word means a something different to everyone. Some people save it for marriage, some don’t care about it, others tie it to religion. It’s all up to personal interpretation and value. For Y/n, it’s not that she didn’t want to lose it, she just never felt ready until she met Harry.
She had met him through a mutual friend, they were both invited to a birthday party and just got on so well they decided to get to know each other better. Dates, hangouts, and many hours spent together later they had become official and now they’re 5 months in and going strong.
A few nights ago, she had finally felt ready. She had communicated to Harry at the start of their relationship she’d never been intimate with someone before and it might take her a while to feel ready to be so vulnerable with him, but eventually the night came and while it was a bit clumsy filled with trial and error she thought over all it was a special experience. Harry had made her feel comfortable, he had made her feel like she was beautiful and made him happy, so she’s completely confused and crestfallen at the words she’s hearing come from his mouth echoing through the spacious house.
“mate, it was bad. Like proper awful, I almost gagged at some points from how bad it was.”
A cruel laugh followed his words. Her chest felt hollow, like her heart had caved in just from his words. She couldn’t bring herself to stop listening, she guessed she was just a glutton for punishment because the hurtful words just kept coming.
“I thought being with a virgin would be hot!”
She heard the voice of one of his friends exclaim, she had never hated the sound of someone’s voice before that moment.
“so did I! it’s why I put up with the wait, thought she’d be bloody tight and a good shag, but I was dead wrong. She barely got wet; she didn’t even taste good! I couldn’t stay hard for shit, pretended to cum and everything just to get it over with. I didn’t know sex could be so bad!”
Another round of cackles and random bullying comments were made about Y/n among the group of men, at this point Y/n felt worthless. She felt like she failed, she felt dirty and stupid. Everything he’d ever said to her was now being questioned. she swears she could vomit.
“Jesus H, what a waste of a pussy innit? Don’t worry can get some girls lined up for you this weekend. Can trip and have a proper orgy, deserve it after pity fucking that dud.”
“Thank god! Need a good fuck after that nightmare. Line up a good few for me yea?”
Humiliated didn’t even come close to describing how Y/n felt right now. Not only had her boyfriend objectify and completely embarrass her to his friends, she’d just heard first hand that he hated it so much he had faked his orgasm, and was planning to cheat on her with multiple women in less than 24 hours. She was sick, her heart stomped on and her feelings completely crushed. She’d never felt so worthless, stupid, used and disgusted with herself. She had confided in Harry how she was scared to be vulnerable, afraid to be intimate with someone because she wasn’t ready to be so open and bare with another person. Harry had told her how she was worth the wait, how she was beautiful and he loved her but now she knew none of it was real. He’d just wanted to be with a virgin, and he hated the experience.
The vomit crawling up her throat had finally reached her mouth, the girl darting towards the bathroom to empty her churning stomach into the toilet tears springing to her eyes as her body tried desperately to purge out all the hurt yet the waves kept coming.
If anyone had heard her getting sick, they didn’t care since no one even called out her name. The girl didn’t even feel like an actual person anymore, just a defective object who was disposable. She couldn’t be here anymore, the emotional pain starting to manifest into physical symptoms as well. Her head pounding, stomach turning and ears ringing. It took all the energy she had left to shove some of her things into her bag to take back to her flat.
The girl was too humiliated to even face them, to confront Harry or mention what she had heard. She internalized all of it, pulling her hood up and ducking out of the front door silently. She suddenly felt lucky that the living room wasn’t in view of the entry way so she could slip out without detection.
 ----
y/n didn’t bother to leave a not nor text Harry about her departure, making her way on foot to the underground to get home. She hadn’t driven her car there since Harry had picked her up, and she didn’t have any service to get an uber so she opted for the easiest option.
The majority of the train ride she spent with her head down, thoughts racing as she desperately tried to suppress the sobs begging to be let out. she somehow managed to keep it together until she got into her flat, as soon as she shut the door her back was against it pained sobs wracking through her body.
When her bottom finally hit the ground she was reminded of the bruises she’d woken up with on her hips and ass from where Harry had gripped onto her.
Maybe that’s why he made me switch to all fours, he was so disgusted he couldn’t even look at my face. Maybe that’s why he seemed to get angry, I couldn’t make him feel good.
The soreness didn’t even compare to the internal injuries his words had left her with. It was as if she’d been clawed from the inside out, every hurtful word slashed at her organs. Her mind burning with self-hatred, insecurity and disgust towards herself. Y/n had always been insecure, she struggled with body image and confidence since she was a child and this ridicule of her natural state and what was supposed to be special tore her limb from limb.
She didn’t know how long it had been, she seemed to zone out finding herself laying in fetal position on the wood floors of her home. Her back was still pressed into the cold steel door, using what was left of her to stand to her feet and lock it, sliding the chain lock as well just to make sure there would be no chance of anyone disrupting her decent into the void of pain.
She didn’t get much sleep that night, her head wouldn’t stop pounding and her thoughts never eased up. She’d gotten a text from Harry asking where she was, her only sending a simple message saying she was feeling poorly and went home in reply.
Harry left her on read.
It must have been many hours since the sun had rose then set again in the time she’d laid still between her covers. She hadn’t gotten up to use the bathroom or eat. She didn’t feel like a person anymore. She didn’t feel like she held any worth in any sense to anyone, seeing as no one had reached out for her in the hours she’d been MIA, not even the boy who supposedly loved her.
Y/n shifted her gaze to the clock on her nightstand, she then knew it was Sunday. It had been almost an entire 48 hours since she’d moved from her spot and by now she was sure Harry had been balls deep in numerous other women. Women who could give him everything she failed to, women who he desired and could get off with. They must be everything she’s convinced she’s not. Pretty, sexy, desirable, loveable, worthy of Harry’s intimacy. Something he regretted ever engaging in with his own girlfriend.
 ---
It was 10 in the morning on Monday when Y/n’s phone finally dinged. By Sunday night she had managed to drag herself to the bathroom to relieve herself and brush her teeth, yet she only then returned to her bed to lay in a depressed shame filled coma of sorts, she truly felt so heart broken it was like her body was giving up on her.
She caved and looked at the message, feeling another stomp on her deflated heart when she saw it was from Harry-
“you alright? Stopped by your work, they said you haven’t called out but you never showed?”
Y/n had forgotten about her job in her spiral, but even now she couldn’t bring herself to care. She knew she was already on thin ice with her manager for taking so many days off to see Harry preform or visit him on his breaks so it wasn’t a surprise if she got fired. She didn’t care though; she knew if she lost her job she’d be another month late on rent and end up being evicted since she couldn’t scrape together enough for last month either. This would lead to her likely having to move back home with her mother or find a hostile somewhere for women, yet she didn’t care. It seems silly that something as simple as someone commenting on her sexual skills would put her in such a state, but that’s not really the main focal point in her mind.
The thing that hurt most was knowing Harry had only been with her to get to take someone’s virginity, and she’d disappointed him so badly he talked shit about her to his friends and made plans to cheat on her. Harry had completely disrespected, objectified and crushed her, and he didn’t even know she knew but she decided he shouldn’t have to know she knew what he said for him to realize it’s wrong. He’s an adult man who knew full well how hurtful and horrid his comments were about someone he had claimed to love. He should have spoke to her if he felt that way, yet instead he played her and tossed her out like rubbish.
Harry broke her heart, one he’d known was already fragile and timid. He’d still said all those nasty things about her even after the nights he’d let her cry into her chest about how much she hated her body, how bad her self-image and confidence was, the way she felt like she was never good enough for anyone. His actions only confirmed what she’d always feared to be true.
Harry didn’t love her.
808 notes · View notes
triplexdoublex · 3 years
Text
9/5/2021 Dream
I can’t believe how much I’ve been dreaming about the boys lately. Welcome to another crazy Prozac induced dream :
Last night I had a dream that young kells was doing a show at my old highschool and I was there and after he stopped to talk to someone who was sitting near me and I reached out to touch his arm and asked him if I could have a hug so gives me one and I go to give him a kiss on the cheek but accidentally kiss him on the lips when he turns his head to keep talking to the person next to me. I apologize and say I didn’t mean to do that and he’s looking at me like ‘yeah I couldn’t care less’. Then I ask for a pic and give my phone to my husband but first I’m trying to discreetly open my phone camera and to not show all the saved pics of kells I have in there. So then I wrap my arms around kells midsection and smile for the pic and my husband is literally crying because he’s so happy for me that I got to meet him and take a pic. Fast forward a few years later Colson’s at a party at my grandmothers old trailer (even though she’s dead) so we kinda hit it off and were flirting and making out and what not and I’m like “hey you wanna fuck? my grandmas bed still in the back.” And he’s like “aren’t you married if I remember correctly?” And I’m like “yeah but this is a dream I can do whatever I want” so he follows me to the back and get undressed and he’s like “ooh you’re shaved up exactly how I like with a little strip” and I’m like “yeah I know it’s your fave I learned it watching and listening to your old interviews” and he’s like “lemme guess your toes are painted white too” then before I know it he’s inside me, but he’s like high as fuck on something and barely hard but whatever it’s kells. A few minutes later he’s like “umm you’re bleeding?” And I’m like “well I have a kid so I’m definitely not a Virgin, and my periods not due until September 16th the day of Modsun’s show (which is actually true lol) so he kinda just shrugs it off and swipes a finger through it and puts it in my mouth and keeps going. All of a sudden I hear my dads voice coming down the hall “hey do you know where the playdough is? You’re siblings wanna play with it.” And he walks in and then walks right back out. And I yell “it’s in the other room in the drawer with the crayons!” And me and kells just keep going and he flips me over so I’m on top and he’s grips my ass and says “Mmm this ass!” And I’m like “you can fuck it!” And his eyes light up like it’s Christmas. So I take him out and put him in my ass and he looks hella concerned for a minute. And I’m like “relax I’m an expert at this I’m not gonna shit in your backpack” 🤣 So we keep going and he’s finally getting actually hard , but he’s literally taking forever to cum and my legs and getting tired and I’m getting sore so I’m like “are you done yet?” But he’s so out of it and is like “maybe I think so” so I take him to the sink to wash his dick and that’s when I realize that 1. The reason I was bleeding is because he was using a freezepop wrapper as a condom . 2. He’s not as big as he claims and 3. He’s not circumcised. ( not a big deal I was just surprised cuz it’s more common in America to be circumcised and he’s said in interviews that he is) Then I tuck him into bed to sleep off whatever drugs he’s on. A few days later I’m on some kind of sit down scooter and I’m scooting around the mall and I see him talking to some blonde with short hair in the food court ( I’m pretty sure it was supposed to be Amber Rose) so I stay out of view until he’s done talking to her and walks away then I catch up to him on my sit down scooter and grab him by his pant leg and I’m like “hey we should hook up again” and I stand up and gives me a kiss and is like “yeah I’ll make it up to you and make it good this time” and then we make arrangements to meet up later and he then he leaves. And then the blonde girl he was talking to stands up and I notice she’s pregnant. And I turn to some random person and I’m like “is it kells? “ and they’re like “yeah” and I’m like “he’s letting her keep it!?” And they’re like ”yeah that’s his main girl, your’re just a side chick” and then I woke up,
21 notes · View notes
heybeybey · 3 years
Text
Levi/Petra marriage canonverse AU headcanon because i get more depressed the more i don’t see petra in S4
Levi/Petra marriage canonverse AU where Wall Maria never fell but all the 104th is still there and everyone’s alive because I want to see Petra bond with the 104th Problem Children™️
- Eld, Oluo and Gunther fight over who’s going to be the groomsman so they all end up being the groomsmen because Levi is tired of them always bickering every time they plan the wedding
- Erwin was supposed to be the groomsman but this is the first time the Levi Squad (okay just the three male idiots) actually oppose their commander “BECAUSE PETRA IS OUR LITTLE SISTER AND WE’RE THE ONLY ONES PERFECT FOR THIS ROLE” 
- Erwin: “But... Levi is technically my best friend...”
- Levi: “No you’re not Erwin” 
- Erwin: “I don’t see anyone claiming the title so yes I am”
- Eld, Oluo and Gunther bully Eren into being the *drumroll bitches* BRIDESMAID. Petra loved the idea and since Petra loves it, Levi orders Eren to do it or else
- ARMIN AS THE RINGBEARER
- Nifa as the flower girl (i know these roles are supposed to be for children but whtv)
- Hange says she’ll officiate the wedding but “no hange you’re not a priest you’re not allowed to do that” 
- During the reception, Petra passes some of her leftover cake to Sasha. Also gave Sasha free pass to the kitchen (which she regrets because “I’m sorry Mrs. Ackerman I didn’t know your bill would double”) 
- Levi put Sasha on toilet duty for a month straight as payback
- When Petra threw her flower bouquet, it went towards Mikasa’s direction but Mikasa doesn’t know the tradition so she slices it with a bread knife when she saw it heading her way
- Connie, Jean and Hange all get drunk 
- Eld, Oluo and Gunther try to be the responsible ones but they’re worse 
- Surprise surprise, Humanity’s Strongest’ 2nd in command is actually the one who ends up goading the 104th kids to drink alcohol
- Levi: Eld, don’t wait for me to fire u they’re FUCKING UNDERAGED
- Hange cries during her speech and then lists down all the times Petra saved Levi’s ass during expeditions
- Hange: lol Humanity’s Strongest is actually the damsel in distress fight me small fry
- Drunk Oluo would cry and say that he loved Petra during his speech and Levi and Petra would be like “Oluo, we’ve already gone through this”
- But Drunk Oluo would also admit that he’s more jealous of Petra now than Levi BECAUSE HE’S THE ULTIMATE FANBOY 
- Levi thinking if he should just kill them all and carry Petra out (bridal style of course)
- Nanaba and MIke gives Levi a sex guide as a wedding gift because “Levi, with how serious you are with your role as captain, we’re pretty sure you’re a virgin”
- Jean asking Petra for love advice “how the fuck do u get the attention of an Ackerman teach me ur ways pls” (ok levi somehow finds out about his relationship with kenny in this AU but idk how)
- Connie and Hange asking Petra if Levi can still be considered “Humanity’s Strongest” in bed
- “So Petra... how does it feel like to be pounded by Humanity’s Strongest?”
- and all other sex jokes using Levi’s title/inhuman strength  
- Eld and Gunther trying to find ways to discreetlyyyyyyy threaten their captain to not break bb sister Petra’s heart or else (without their tongues getting sliced out of their mouth but let’s admit that they don’t get far with their “threat”)
---
anyway guess who wants to write a fanfic now but doesn’t have the time. might add more to this idk 
67 notes · View notes
sesskagarchive · 3 years
Note
Do you know any sesskag dubcon/rape fics?
Hello anon, thanks for asking.
We decided to compile a list so here are some recommended fics for Dubcon/rape. Some of these even come with Sequels! Happy Reading!
Admin Wicked/k9plus1
DUBCON LIST:
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A Curse of Lust by Squash/Fearless miko:
Posted On: Dokuga, FF.net,  Rating: MA Summary: A lusty curse leaves the females in Inuyasha's group running for their lives...and towards their destiny! 
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A Mere Digression, by elle6778:
Posted on: Dokuga  Rating: M Summary: A digression was what Sesshoumaru called it. ‘It’ being the heated encounters between him and Kagome which took place simply because neither of them could resist. Heed warnings and notes in the first chapter.
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A Woman!, by sugar0o:
Posted On: Dokuga, FF.net , Rating: M Summary: Based somewhat off the idea of Mulan, staring our fav paring Sess/kags, AU, their both demons, because well it makes it easier, and I don’t want to make Sess human, its not right! [lemon w/a plot] this has 2 points, I want to write a lemon to get more comfortable with them, also I want to explore detailing my writing, I will ask that you give serious reviews/critiques, bc I want to learn from this, not just entertain and enthrall. *COMPLETE as of 9/3/9*
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Acquisition, Possession, Seduction, by Mistress Sianna: 
Posted On: Dokuga, FF.net Rating: M Summary: “Do not think for one moment that you can escape me.” he said slowly, deliberately. \"You Higurashi Kagome, are mine! Only I will decide if you will stay, if you will go, if you will live or if you will die.\"
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Alpha, by Lyra/ lyrainthedark:
Posted On: Dokuga, FF.net Rating: M Summary: Kagome mates Inuyasha...but Inuyasha was reluctant. Why? Pack politics...and his brother, who is Alpha. What that means will take time to learn, if Kagome can only live long enough for the lessons... Finally Complete!
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Bound by Corruption, by BelovedStranger/ Two Hearts:
Posted On: Dokuga. AO3, FF.net   Rating: M Summary: Inside every individual, darkness dwelled large or small. A young woman, cast under her elder sister’s shadow, was bent on proving her worth. A terrible threat hung over her village, giving Kagome the opportunity she had been waiting for. On a mission to save them all from the hearts of evil men, she journeyed to the Inu no Kami’s temple to beseech divine intervention. Instead, danger befell the headstrong woman. Rather than obtaining help from a merciful god, another stepped in to slaughter her enemies, but for a price. An Inugami did nothing for free. Status: Completed
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Detrimental Desires, by Mistress Sianna:
Posted on: Dokuga  Rating: M Summary: The idea was to make Inuyasha kill Kagome. Little did Naraku know, that on the night of the new moon, Inuyasha looses his demonic powers. Instead, Sesshoumaru and Kagome will be forced to succumb to their most detrimental desires.
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Fix It, by Smortz:
Posted On: Dokuga. Rating: M Summary:  When Sesshomaru needs Kagome to help him, she takes advantage of the dog demon now in her debt. As they set out on a new journey, will Kagome be able to overcome the problem that arises? Pun Intended.
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He Must be Breeding, by ChaoticReverie:
Posted On: Dokuga  Rating: M Summary: Sesshomaru requires the perfect female to bear his heir, and Kagome… well, she doesn’t know how she gets herself into these messes.
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Heated Blood by Imani Joain:
Posted On: Dokuga, FF.net, AO3 Rating: M Summary: Kagome cannot help but try to fix anything she finds broken, even if it is not in her best interest to do so. When she comes across Sesshomaru in dire need of assistance, she cannot deny herself. She only hopes that he won't kill her for it. Rated MA for graphic intimacy. Staus: WIP
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House of Ill Repute, by Aurora Antheia Raine:
Posted On: Dokuga, FF.net, AO3 Rating: M Summary:  "I will never be yours." // "But you will be, miko," he nearly purred, "you will be when this Sesshoumaru is finished with you."
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Irresistible Temptation, by DestinysTears:
Posted On: Dokuga, FF.net     Rating: M Summary: Sesshomaru finds he cannot ignore this inexplicable temptation. (Oneshot)
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Just Another Lemon, by Tiegrsi: 
Posted on: Dokuga Rating: M Summary: Sesshomaru has gone into heat, and finds Kagome willing to put up with his antics. Kagome thinks he was unable to find a suitable woman, and came to her as a last resort. Perhaps there are some things Kagome needs to learn
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Lair, Lair, by susie: 
Posted On: Dokuga   Rating: M Summary: After nearly being nearly absorbed, Sesshoumaru's Bakusaiga is forged, and we all know the rest of the story... or do we? In a deal with Sunrise to accelerate the events of TFA, part of the infamous manga was left on the cutting room floor. Though the hack job began well before that. For the sake of public decency, and in accordance with Japan's obscenity laws, the spiciest and most controversial scenes from the original manga were banned from ever seeing the light of day. Until now. On the condition of anonymity, a diligent hacker provided via email a copy of the raw version you were never meant to see. This is Inuyasha Nights – The Lost Chapter *Dubcon
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Macaria, by mythicamagic:
Posted on: Dokuga, FF.net, AO3 Rating: M Summary: Post-apocalyptic AU. Human women were all but wiped out when the demons took over. What few remain have gone into hiding or concealed their true gender. When Kagome hears news of an orphaned little girl, she'll stop at nothing to protect her from the dangers of the world- including the city of demons and the infamous Killing Perfection. But is he friend or foe? Status: WIP
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Not Impervious, by Oroyukae: 
Posted On: Dokuga   Rating: M Summary: He was supposed to be the most powerful demon in existence; one that none could best in any situation, at any time. That was not entirely accurate, it would seem. One error in judgment at the most vulnerable of times, and all that he knows lay in jeopardy. Just what would said being be willing to agree to in the direst of circumstances? {FIN}
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Passion, by CiraArana:
Posted On: Spark, Rating: M Summary: Sesshomaru turned to her and gazed back. He did nothing else, just standing there, looking at her... As he kept his eyes on her, his lust for blood and killing faded away, leaving behind another lust. For her. Status: Abandoned
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Poison of Erised!, by Vyncent:
Posted On: Dokuga, Rating: M Summary: Tomorrow night, brother moon would be witness to the music that he heard, and felt in his very soul, as he howled his conquest to his blood red face. Tomorrow his hunger would be fed by the blood and flesh that he hungered for, and the world would know of his claim. Status: Abandoned
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Poison Within, by Angelic Memories:
Posted On: Dokuga, FF.net    Rating: MA Summary: *Two-Shot* Due to a nasty bite Kagome is poisoned and fights for her life. Inuyasha can only think of one person who might be able to help her but there’s a problem he didn’t consider.
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Secret Possession. By SakuraAngel1:
Posted On: Dokuga Rating: M Summary: Sesshoumaru is forced to put his mating plans into action a lot sooner than expected, and has Kagome kidnapped in order to fulfill it. When Kagome awakens, she finds herself as the new Lady of the Western Lands...with no Lord in sight… Status: Abandoned
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Sleeping Beauty, by Catalina:
Posted On: Dokuga Rating: M Summary: Based loosely on the Disney movie, but darker and a bit twisted. Sesshoumaru is betrothed to a little human princess who is delivered a curse by the hanyou Naraku, Kikyo, Miroku, and Kaede agree to raise the child in safety. Smuts in final chapter. Status: Completed
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Striking a Deal With the Devil, by Smortz:
Posted On:  Dokuga, FF.net,   Rating: M Summary: Does anything sound funner? Kagome needs help from the new Commissioner. A man that gave 'bad reputation' its standards. However, will Kagome be able to pay the price he demands when a life is on the line? Status: Completed
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The Sacrifice, by Catalina:
Posted On: Dokuga   Rating: M Summary: Kagome is lured to a strange village, where she finds herself in an unpleasant situation. She is to be a sacrifice to an as yet unnamed youkai. Semi-non-consensual. Status: Completed
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Trapped, Breeder, by sesshou_lover:
Posted on: Dokuga Rating: M Summary: N/A Status: Completed
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Virginity of the Soul, by Madison
Posted on: Dokuga, FF.net, AO3 Rating: M Summary: Fresh from a betrayal that shattered her world, she was lured into getting even. Alas, the ones we trust and love aren’t always the ones we should. Semi-PWP. COMPLETE Staus: Complete
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The Western Breeding, By Blackthorn:
Posted On: Dokuga, FF.net, Rating: M Summary: The end has come. Demons have found that certain humans can breed pure blooded demon pups. Sesshomaru is leading with Kagome running from the demon lord. Once she is at his side can she learn to love her captor for the sake of her unborn pup or find a way out? Status: Abandoned
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RAPE LIST:
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Blood Stained, by Madison: 
Posted On: Dokuga, FF.net, AO3  Rating: M Summary: COMPLETE! A sudden loss of control intertwined their fates. It dragged her through hell and he couldn't have cared less. She tried to escape her fears but the only way to do it was to face him through time and love.
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Heat of Exchange, by Catalina: 
Posted On: Dokuga Rating: M Summary: It is that time of year for demon women, but Kagome is experiencing something very strange. Sesshoumaru arrives to help her, against her wishes. Freshly beta'd now.
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Hell’s Shadows, by Catalina:
Posted On: Dokuga Rating: MA Summary: Formerly named "Ghost of Death" Sesshoumaru lives in hell requiring human women to increase his own power. Kagome falls into his waiting claws, while all of hell is turned upside down by her.DARK. NON CONSENSUAL.
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His Wife, by Aries_heart: 
Posted On: Dokuga, FF.net, AO3,    Rating: MA Summary: "With a kiss on her shaking lips, he would leave for work and once the door was closed she would allow herself to cry once more. And then the cycle will repeat."
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I Don’t Want a Mate, MLMonty: 
Posted On: Dokuga Rating: M Summary: Sesshoumaru goes into heat during mating season and rapes Kagome. Now she's pregnant and wants nothing to do with him. Should Sesshoumaru respect her wishes and leave her unguarded while she carries his heir?  Status: Abandoned 
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Kagome’s Trust, by Fire_and_Earth_Sorceress55/Huntress-of-Flames-55:
Posted On: FF.net, AO3   Rating: M Summary: When Kagome is raped by Sesshomaru on the night of the new moon. Kagome goes home to the future as finds out that she is pregnant with pups? PUPS! Now one year later, she decides to go back to the feudal era.
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Paper Cranes, by midori Haru: 
Posted On: FF.net  Rating: M Summary: Meeting, attraction, courting, commitment. For most of the world relationships form in the normal fashion from start to culmination. Naturally normal isn't enough for Sesshoumaru. And he wonders why he runs into problems trying to build a relationship from the wrong end.
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Principal Life, by Catalina: 
Posted On: Dokuga Rating: M Summary: Kagome is dating the principal's brother, and he finds out about it. What can an untrained miko hope to accomplish when she is so ignorant of youkai mating traditions? Story is dark and now involves non consensual situations, with more to come. Status: Abandoned
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Rise Again, by Catalina: 
Posted on: Dokuga   Rating: M Summary: Youkai have become weak and feeble but are attempting to strengthen their population. Sesshoumaru leads them, and discovers the solution to their problem in an unwilling human. VERY non-consensual stuff happens. Frequently.
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S t a s i s, by wonderbug: 
Posted On: Dokuga, AO3  Rating: M Summary: Love, he tells her, as he trails a claw along the pathway of her shivering spine, is only a human notion. [VERY dark; drabble-ish CU/AR]
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The Breeder, TexanLady: 
Posted On: Dokuga  Rating: M Summary: There is more to Kagome than anyone could ever imagine. After learning of her destiny Sesshoumaru swears to make her his at any cost. Once forced to his side can Kagome teach him to love or learn to love him. Status: Abandoned
53 notes · View notes
rebeccccccaaa · 3 years
Text
𝕲𝖔𝖑𝖉𝖊𝖓
____________________________
𝕶𝖎𝖓𝖌!𝕭𝖚𝖈𝖐𝖞 𝖝 𝕶𝖓𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙!𝕽𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖊𝖗 𝕬𝖀
𝕾𝖚𝖒𝖒𝖆𝖗𝖞: When the Queen falls sick and passes away, King Bucky must marry another, preferably the princess of an alliance kingdom nearby, in order to keep peace and order among the lands. However she is the most god awful human being anyone has ever met. Her guard however well she was definitely not what the king expected.
cw: brief talk about buck being tortured, suggestive infertility with reader, graphic details about death, talking about a violent accident to the reader during the battle, that battle, loki’s death too sorry (loki x reader past)….
𝖂𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘: smut 18+ (‘bathtub’ sex!, oral!fem, praise kink, cockwarming; blink and you’ll miss it, loss of virginity but who cares lmao, unprotected sex but reader can’t have kids… sorry), digusting amount fo fluff hahaha part 4?
𝕬/𝖓: tbh i saw this bathroom pic on pintrest and it was huge like all made of stone and gold with stain glass windows and the tub was like a giant jacuzzi and honestly that's what i imagine the reader’s bathroom to be in this but feel free to imagine something else lol
𝖜𝖔𝖗𝖉 𝖈𝖔𝖚𝖓𝖙: 2.7k (big boy lol)
part one | part two | part three | part four |
_____________________________
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flashbacks in italics*
Bucky separated from Charlotte and practically sprinted to you. You looked behind you to find Bucky saying goodbye to his friends; them all winking at him. You scoffed and continued walking to your bedroom. 
Usually during these big parties the king throws, you reside upstairs to bathe the world’s longest bath. You can’t normally take these because you're always needed for service whatever it may be. You left your door open for Bucky to easily find you knowing he was trailing close behind. 
You turned the corner to enter the bathroom you had and glanced at Bucky who was still down the hall. You decided to tease him a bit and began stripping your dress, letting him see only your bare back and barely the side of your breast. 
Bucky walked into your room and shut and locked the door immediately stripping away his coat and shirt along with his shoes as well. He slowly walked to the door of your very large bathroom and pushed it open slowly to see you walking down the steps of your bath filled with hot water. 
Seeing your entire nude body from the back making Bucky’s breath hitch in his throat. The water raised to the middle of your back and it was hot enough to see a bit of steam. Oh how Bucky wanted to ravish you and be the reason you're wet and not the water. 
“You gonna stand there and stare or would you like to join me?”
Bucky stumbled and nearly ripped his pants off his body trying to get to you. You turned back forward and waited until you heard the splashing water and felt his hands circling around your waist pulling flushed against his body. 
His face went to your neck and he kissed and nipped at the flesh making you hum in content. You’ve never been naked with a man before let alone bathe with one but something about Bucky’s hungry eyes and hands roaming your body made you feel powerful. You had him wrapped around your little finger and you loved it.
Bucky loved it too. 
“You are so beautiful, my love.”
Bucky’s hand traveled down your stomach towards your center. A place that no man has ever touched before. You almost forgot about- 
“What’s this?”
“Stop,” you grabbed his hand and pulled it away. You wanted to cry. You completely forgot about what you had. 
You wadded to the edge of the tub completely embarrassed and scared of how ignorant and stupid you felt. 
“Hey, hey. What happened? Did I do something?” Bucky whispered to you, running his hands up and down your arms.
“No! It’s just, it’s ugly. I’m ugly,” you cried.
“What? Darling you are not ugly. You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid my eyes on. How could you say such a thing about yourself?”
Bucky stopped for a minute and took the time to really look at your body now. He hadn’t realized until now but your entire back, shoulders, and arms with littered with painful scars; memories of the scary battles you partook on behalf of the kingdom. 
You sniffled and covered you breasts with your hands and arms as best as you could before slowly turning around to show the front of your body revealing a large, dark, and ridged scar across your entire abdomen. 
“It was the last battle before we retired.”
“Loki!” you screamed.
Smoke and fog from canons and the cold infiltrating your nose and lungs. You coughed and searched through the bodies and dirt that littered every inch of the battlefield. 
“I was with my partner and my love, Loki.”
“Loki!” you kept searching and shouting his name. You could hardly see through your thick metal helmet and ripped it off your head. You had to find him. 
“Loki! Where are you!” you screamed. 
Suddenly, a large man, a man like an ogre, came charging at you. You dropped your helmet and grabbed your sword and shield ready to take the fucker down. The rebels were at their peak of resistance and this battle had been your worst. 
Your men were dropping like flies and you couldn't hold them back much longer. And now you lost your best knight and your lover too. Loki Laufeyson.
You fought however. You were going to win the war. 
You gabbed your sword and cut the giant. He lunged forward and smacked your shield; you're still standing however. You danced around each other until you heard the familiar cry. Shouts and grunts you’ve heard a thousand times.
You turned and found Loki fighting another only feet away from you. The man took your turn away for advantage and lunged at you once again, completely impaling you with his makeshift sword. You were nailed to the ground literally screeching in pain. 
The man held your neck, cutting your airway, you could barely reach your sword to get him off you but your struggles were cut short when you looked to the side and found Loki being choked. He was lifted off the ground eyes turning red and skin turning blue. 
“They killed him,” you whispered to Bucky.
His neck was snapped in front of your eyes; his body collapsed to the ground limp. 
Your ears were ringing and everything went silent. You grabbed the sword and cut the throat of the man above you moving his body off you. You screamed and wailed for the loss of your love, your everything. 
“I was there for so long, his eyes staring at me with no life,” you broke down.
“Hey, hey, hey. I got you. It’s ok,” Bucky held  you. 
“It was so long ago; I moved on,” you said once you calmed down, “But it still hurts when I always have this constant reminder about what happened. What I could’ve done; I could’ve saved him.”
“You couldn’t have done anything more then what happened. Don’t blame yourself for that.”
“And all these scars and scratches remind me everyday of what I went through. It makes me want to ripped my skin off.”
“I know baby girl. I know exactly how that feels.”
You looked at him confused. He was a king, he had everything. How could he understand even the sheer amount of grief you went through?
He took a step away and you saw it. The scars that littered his body and the one across his chest and left shoulder. The scar shaped into a star on his left arm only to have come from branding by the rebels, Hydra they called themselves.
“Many, many years ago, I was taken from my parents by the rebels. They want goods or something, I don’t remember too much. They burned me and scarred me for information about my father merchants and traders. It went on for weeks. Until they left me for dead and moved on to different kingdoms I supposed. My father’s army found me else I wouldn’t be here.”
“I’m so sorry that happened to you. You didn’t deserve that,” you cupped his face. 
“But I’m here now stronger than ever and I know you are too.”
“It’s just, it’s hard. I have no one.”
“I know it is. And no you don’t have no one because whether or not there’s a marriage I’m still gonna be here for you and so is Natasha, Steve, and Sam. I’m pretty sure they love you more than they love me,” he chuckled as did you. 
“We are here for you now even if it doesn’t seem like it, you have us.”
“Bucky,” you whispered.
“Yes?”
“James….”
“Y/n….” 
“I love you, James.”
“I love you, Y/n.”
Bucky leaned forward and kissed you with passion and lust. You hands cupped his face leaning further into the kiss. His hands were placed on your back pulling your body flushed against his own; he could feel your breasts pressed against his chest. 
“You are so strong,” Bucky pulled away and said between kissing your neck.
“You’re so beautiful.”
He moved back a bit and sat on a stone step pulling you to sit on top of his legs. His hands moved all over your body touching every inch of skin you had still kissing your neck and collarbones. Your hands raked through his hair and he hummed at the feeling. 
His hands roamed to your ass lifting you slightly. He waited for you to continue but when he saw the hesitation in your face he let go of your body.
“What’s wrong, doll?”
“Nothing, it's just… When I was with Loki we decided to wait to, you know. But then he died and I’ve never loved another. Until you. I’ve never…”
“I understand. We don’t have to do anything, we could just bathe,” he smiled.
“No Bucky. I love you, so much. And I don’t know what our future holds. What if I never see you again after tomorrow?”
“Hey, we’ll be together. I promise. Nothing’s gonna take you away from me.”
He kissed you again this time if felt a little different. Like he was also scared that he was gonna lose you. 
You stood up a bit and wrapped your hand around Bucky’s cock. You pumped it a few times eliciting moans from him that was music to your eyes. You could spend eternity like this if you had the chance.
“Please, Y/n. Don’t tease me,” Bucky moaned.
“But you sound so lovely,” you smirked.
Bucky grabbed your hips and sat you over his cock not yet pulling you down; almost like a warning that he can plow into if he wants. And boy is that something you want. 
You looked into Bucky’s eyes as you slowly but surely sank down onto his dick. You hadn’t actually seen it yet and feeling it in your hand you expected him to be pretty big but now sinking down on him, he was fucking huge.
You tensed up a little bit feeling yourself being stretched by his cock. 
“You’re taking me so well, baby. You’re so beautiful,” Bucky praised, “Take your time, darling.”
“You’re so big, James.”
“I’m sorry.”
“No, don’t be. It’s starting to feel better.”
You slowly moved up to sink down again; beginning to feel less pressure and pain and way more pleasure. You moaned a bit before covering your mouth in embarrassment about your lude sounds.
“Don’t do that; I wanna hear you. I wanna hear how good my cock makes you feel.”
“It feels so good. Oh god,” you moaned.
You sped up the pace and your stomach felt like it was tightening in itself. This feeling was a whole new thing, but damn did it feel like heaven. Bucky started to join you in small thrusts up to you groaning in pleasure.
“Fuck, Y/n. You feel so good. So fucking tight.”
“Keep talking Bucky. Please,” you moaned; Bucky’s words bringing you closer to the edge.
“You like it when I tell you how good your pussy feels? You want me to tell you how gorgeous you are? How perfect?”
“Yes!” you sped up chasing that high that you desperately wanted. 
Bucky grunted and grabbed your hips rutting his hips into you making you scream in pleasure. Your head tossed back and your toes curled, you felt a wave of euphoria come over you as you climaxed for the first time. Bucky grunted loudly and pulled you into a feral kiss as he climaxed hard. 
You slumped forward in fatigue on Bucky, his hands rubbing softly up and down your back. You stayed in silence for a minute before you moved to look up at Buck. 
“That was amazing,” you whispered, making him laugh.
Bucky lifted you and sat you on the dry stone counter kissing you softly. He dried you with towels and took you to your bed kissing your body up and down; kissing each scar. 
“”What are you doing?” you smiled at him.
“Oh baby, I’m not done with you,” his voice low with lust, making you incredibly aroused.
Bucky kissed your large scar on your belly and whispered how he loved you and how beautiful you were. Your heart fluttered at his words, tears pooled in your eyes. You could feel Bucky’s breath against your inner thighs and your head shot up.
“Wait, what are you doing?” you were confused as to what he was doing.
“I wanna taste you, doll. Is that ok? I promised it’ll feel good,” he assured you.
“Oh, I didn’t know.”
“Can I?”
“Yes,” you whispered, barely audible.
Bucky licked up your folds and your hips jerked at the new feeling. He brought his hands up and spread your legs open for more room. His tongue moved up and down brushing your clit making you squirm underneath him. 
Bucky inserted a finger and pumped it in and out of your pussy, following with another soon after. Your body thrashed under him; another orgasm approaching fast. You moaned and cried at the intense pleasure that Bucky was giving you, the best feeling you’ve ever felt.
“Oh god Bucky, that feels so fucking good,” you hands entangled themselves in his hair.
Your back arched off the bed, your cum dripping down Bucky’s chin. It was truly a beautiful sight. Bucky lapped up everything you gave him and wiped his chin with his hand before kissing you. He positioned himself above, his hips settled between your thighs.
“You think you can be a good girl and give me one more?” Bucky positioned himself at your entrance.
“Yes, I’ll be your good girl.”
“Good,” Bucky thrusted fast into you, making you moan loudly.
“That’s baby, let the whole damn kingdom know who’s fucking you this good. Tell me, say it to me.”
“You’re fucking me so good! You feel so good, ah!” tears fell down your cheeks from immense pleasure.
“God, I love you, Y/n,” he buried his face into your neck, nipping at the skin. He was getting closer to another orgasm and his thrusts were getting wild and animalistic.
“I love you Bucky,” you said to him, bringing his forehead to yours. Hands scratching at his back.
“Say it again.”
“I love you.”
“Again!”
“I love you, James. So much.”
You and Bucky both climax together, shouting ecstasy. His body rolled over to the side, his cock still inside you, pulling into him. Your head resting on his lightly sweaty chest. His hands scratched lightly on your back making your skin break out in chills. 
“Are you ok?” Bucky asked you.
“Yes. I'm perfect.”
“Good. I was scared that maybe I pushed you too far.”
“No, I loved it. I love you.”
“I love you, too.” 
There was a brief moment of silence; you almost fell asleep. 
“Tomorrow I’m going to ask the king for your hand instead.”
“What?” you head rose quickly.
“I mean it. I spoke with Charlotte before I came here and turns out she too loves someone else.”
“Henry,” you whispered.
“Yes, how did you know?”
“I’ve sent letters to the duke’s home a couple times. She spoke a lot of his son; a good man. I didn't realize she may actually have fallen in love with him.”
“She did and I’m pretty sure like me, she went to tell her one true love that they love them. Very much. More than anything in the whole world.”
“You sap,” you laughed.
“I mean it. I love you so much and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
“And if the king says no? You’re supposed to marry his daughter, not his knight.”
“I know, but I’ll make him say yes. I swear,” Bucky kissed you.
“Good night, James.” 
“Good night, my love.” 
======================================
𝕿𝖆𝖌𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙:
@velvetcardiganbucky ​
@chipilerendi ​
@heavenhatesme
@austynparksandpizza
@ahahafudge ​
@onlyhereforthefandomandgiggles
@smoochesfroggos
@thegeekybibliophile​
146 notes · View notes
nblesbianbenhanscom · 3 years
Note
prompt #17 for reddie? :)
“I want to feel like this forever.”
just a little miniseries reddie for you. ❤️🧡💛💚💙
you can also read it on ao3
***
After Derry, after the hospital, after almost a year of recovery and fighting with his mother every day multiple times a day about seeing Richie, Eddie has had enough.
“Ma, I’m leaving,” Eddie says quietly to the mirror in the cramped bathroom he’d shared with her since he was a late teen. He clears his throat. “Ma, now don’t get— Please don’t get—” Pause. “Ma, I’m forty-one years old. It is well past time I moved out and—” He groans.
This is a disaster. He knows she’s going to see right through him, she’s going to know this is because of Richie.
And she’s not entirely wrong. To be fair though, he knows he’s not doing it for Richie, but Richie is a huge motivating factor to get out from his mother’s thumb. All Eddie really wants right now is to be with his love, and he knows his mother is going to have issues with it, but he can’t live for her any more.
Eddie opens his mouth to rehearse some more when Sonia knocks on the door and Eddie lets out a little shriek.
“Eddie, darling, are you alright?” She calls through the door.
“I’m fine, ma.” He flushes the toilet and washes his hands as she tries to delay the inevitable.
“Well, hurry up, your supper’s getting cold.”
When he opens the door, she is still standing there, waiting.
“Ma, what are you doing? Let’s go eat.” He takes her elbow and guides her down the stairs just the way she likes. Pot roast is waiting for them in the dining room, and as Eddie helps push in Sonia’s chair, he can’t help but wonder if this is going to be the last meal of hers he’s ever going to eat.
He sits down across from her and waits for her to dish him up some food. They talk quietly through dinner, but it’s all haze. Eddie forgets what he’s saying almost as soon as the words leave his mouth.
Half an hour later, Sonia clucks at him. “Eddie, dear, you’ve barely touched your food. Are you sure you’re feeling alright?”
“I’m fine, just not really hungry.” He takes a deep breath. “Actually, ma, there is something I wanted to talk to you about.”
“Oh? And what’s that?”
Just do it. Just say it. You can do this. You killed an alien, you can do this, Eddie tells himself.
“Ma,” he starts and stops. “Ma, first of all, I just want to tell you that I love you very much.”
“I love you, too, Eddie.” She frowns at him and he has to look away.
“Ma, I— I’m moving out.”
“Moving out? Don’t be ridiculous, Eddie, dear. Where do you think you can go? Your home is here with me.”
“Ma, I’m forty-one. I’m a— I’m—” He swallows hard. He can’t  quite make himself say, I’m a forty-one year old gay virgin, so instead he says, “Richie has a spare room. I’m going to move in with him.” He doesn't tell her he’s not going to stay in the guest room.
“With Richie? Richie Tozier?” She shrieks. “That vile little boy grew up to be a vile man. You can’t. I won’t allow it.”
“I’m not asking for your permission, ma, I’m telling you what’s going to happen.”
Sonia looks at him in disbelief. “Edward Kaspbrak, how dare you talk to me like this. I can’t believe what you are saying. You can't leave me like this. You need me, Eddie.”
“No, ma, you need me. And I can’t do it any more. I’m sorry, but I can’t— I can’t be your excuse to not be happy any more.”
Glowering, Sonia asks, “And just what is that supposed to mean?”
“It means that you never gave yourself a chance to be happy after pop died because you were afraid of getting hurt again. You— You put all your energy and attention into me. I was your whole world so you didn’t have to go find a new husband, a new life. You were afraid and you made me afraid, and I don’t want to be afraid anymore.”
Sonia blinks. “I never once stopped you from— from having a life. You were always allowed to have a relationship. You were the one who broke up with Myra.”
“Ma, that’s not— I don’t—” He sighs. “Don’t make me say it.”
“Say what, Eddie? Explain it to me. Explain to me why you are abandoning your dear old mother. Your mother who took care of you your whole life through. I never asked for anything, never wanted anything in return, and this is the thanks I get?”
“Ma, just— I’m leaving, ok? I’m leaving tonight and—”
“Oh, Eddie, just tell me why. I’d understand if- if it was for a girl, maybe, but that nasty man—”
“Richie’s not nasty, ma, he’s wonderful. You just don’t like him because he treats me better than you.”
“He’s dirty!”
“He’s not!
“He’ll get you into trouble. Trouble like before. You really think—”
“Think he’ll take care of me if I have another accident? Yes, he will. He hardly left my side. He was there when I needed him in the middle of the night. He paid for your room, too, and you never really thanked him.” Sonia makes a small move noise of disapproval. “Look, ma. He moved here. He moved here after I got out of the hospital. He’s— He—” He shakes his head a little. “There’s nothing that I can say that will explain this in a satisfactory way, so please, just- just—” Just try and understand, is what he wants to say, but the words won’t come.
“Eddie, I only want what’s best for you, can’t you see that?” Sonia asks. “That friend of yours can’t take care of you the way that I can.”
“No, ma. No one takes care of me like you do,” Eddie says carefully. He knows they are close to the edge and he doesn’t really want to spill over. Even after everything, he believes that she loves him and only wants what she thinks is best for him, but her whole world view was totally screwed. She had done her best, but it's time to get on with his life. Their life together isn't fair to either of them.
“Then why do you want to leave me?”
“It’s not you, ma. Leaving is just something I gotta do.” Eddie looks at her and wishes he hadn’t. She’s crying and looks so, so small. She’d never really looked small before and it scares him.
“But why?”
He almost says, Because I love him, but he is literally saved by the doorbell.
“Oh, who could that be at this hour?” Sonia sniffs and starts to get up.
“It’s for me, ma. It’s— It’s Joey. He’s going to help me get my stuff over to Richie’s.”
“And where is Richie then?” Sonia asks as Eddie heads towards the door.
“At home. We thought it would be less… upsetting if you didn’t see him right now.” And it clearly worked well, cause you are so, so calm, he thinks to himself. He opens the door and smiles at his favorite coworker. Well, soon to be ex-coworker because Eddie and Richie are moving to LA in a few weeks. Guilt fills Eddie’s stomach when he realizes he hasn’t told his mother this yet.
One thing at a time, Eddie tells him.
“Hey, Joey, thanks for this again.”
“Any time, Eddie. How is she?” Joey looks past Eddie to try and see Sonia for himself.
“She’s… taking it about as well as can be expected at this point.” Eddie glances back over his shoulder to see if she’s come out of the dining room or not, and is relieved to find the hall empty.
“Come on. My room is upstairs.” Eddie moves aside so Joey can come in, and Eddie is struck by the realization that Joey is the first friend he’s had over since he was a kid. He doesn’t count Myra because that had been just a huge disaster.
It had never been a real relationship, they hadn’t even kissed. It had been so easy to just pretend like he wanted to wait for marriage, that he was an old fashioned kind of guy, and Myra had happily gone along with it. Sometimes Eddie almost felt sorry for her, but he knew that she didn’t love him any more than he loved her. 
Honestly, even if Eddie weren’t gay, he knows his mother would never have really let him marry Myra, and he would be here irregardless. There had been no escaping his mother.
They head up the stairs, and Eddie can hear Sonia crying in the kitchen. He hopes she stays there.
Eddie doesn’t have much stuff he actually wants to take, and between Joey and himself, it only takes one trip to get all his stuff. They put his things in the trunk and Eddie sighs.
“I’m going to go say goodbye. This may take a while. If it gets too late, call Richie and—”
“I know the plan, Eddie. It’s ok. It’s going to be fine.”
Eddie giggles. “Yeah, sure. You wanna go in for me?” He points to the door.
“Not a chance in hell.” They both laugh. “Good luck, Eddie.” Joey squeezes Eddie's shoulder, and Eddie sighs a little.
“Thanks. I’m going to need it.” He takes another deep breath and turns to walk up the path. He opens the door and steps back in. He rubs his face as he goes to find Sonia. She’s in the kitchen staring at the leftover pot roast.
“I’m leaving, ma. I just— I just wanted to say goodbye.”
Sonia says nothing.
“Ma, please. Please try to understand. I’m not doing this to hurt you. I just want a chance to be happy.”
Sonia begins to put the leftovers away.
“Ma, say something. Please.” When she doesn’t say anything, Eddie nods. “It’s ok, ma. Maybe one day you’ll understand. Maybe one day we’ll be able to talk again.” He turns and walks down the hall.
“Eddie?” Sonia calls from the kitchen.
“Yeah, ma?” He turns and sees her watching from the kitchen doorway.
“If you leave, I never want to see you again,” Sonia says.
Swallowing hard, Eddie nods. “I love you, ma.” He turns and leaves, closing the door quietly behind him. He hates this, hates himself, hates everything. He stews in his guilt all the way to Richie’s. When they get there, Eddie hesitates.
“You want me to go get Richie?” Joey asks.
Eddie doesn’t say anything for a long moment, just sits there thinking about how Joey was the best friend he had without the Losers, and even though they’d been friends for years Joey knew very little about Eddie’s life. Eddie is amazed that Joey would be willing to just drop everything to help him. Slowly, Eddie shakes his head. “No, come on. Let’s go in. I’m tired and ready for tonight to be over.”
“Ok.” Joey squeezes Eddie’s shoulder. They get out and grab the bags. They walk up the steps and Richie opens the door before they can knock on the door.
“Hey! Eddie Spaghetti! Welcome home!” He lifts Eddie up and pulls him into a tight hug and kisses his ear.
“Hi, Richie.”
Richie puts him down. “Uh oh. I take it things didn't go well with Mama Kaspbrak?” He ruffles Eddie’s hair and he can’t help but smile.
“We’ll talk about it in a bit.”
Grabbing Eddie’s face, Richie pulls him close and he gives him a huge smooch. “Ok, babes.” He looks up at Joey and steps aside to let them both in. “Thanks for all your help, Joey. We couldn’t have done this without you.”
Joey waves him off. “You’re ok. I was happy to help.” He sets the bags down. “Let me know if you need anything else.”
“Will do,” Richie says. Joey waves and walks back out.
“Bye, Joey. See you Monday!” Eddie calls. He waves and Richie closes the door. He takes a deep breath and leans against the door.
“Was she awful?” Richie asks.
“Oh, yes.” Eddie walks over and pulls Richie’s arms around him. Richie pulls him close and kisses the top of his head.
“I’m sorry, Eds. What can I do?”
Shaking his head, Eddie looks up at Richie. “Thank you for being so amazing.”
“Me? What did I do?” Richie asks.
“You exist.”
Richie smiles and kisses Eddie gently on the lips. “Love you, Spaghetti Man.”
“Love you, too, Richie.” He rests his head on Richie’s chest and they just stand there for a few minutes.
“So, you wanna unpack tonight or just go to bed?” Richie asks.
Eddie takes a deep breath and sighs. “Do you have any ice cream? I didn’t eat much dinner.” It’s weird to think that this time last year, Eddie would have balked at the suggestion of ice cream so close to bedtime, would have pointed out that it would probably give them stomach aches, but in this moment, it’s all he wants.
“I think we might have some. Let’s go look.” He takes Eddie’s hand and laces their fingers together as he leads the way to the kitchen. Eddie leans against the counter as Richie opens the freezer. “We’ve got rocky road and vanilla bean.”
Eddie thinks for a moment and just nods. “Sure.”
“Which one?”
“Both.”
“You got it babes.” Richie puts the ice cream on the counter and gets some spoons. “Want help up?”
“What?”
“If we��re going to eat ice cream out of the carton, we do it sitting on the counter.”
Laughing, Eddie makes a face. “You’re so goofy.” He kisses Richie’s cheek. “Help me up?” He of course doesn’t need help, but he just wants another excuse for Richie to touch him. When they are both up on the counter, Richie opens the ice creams and hands a carton to Eddie. They bang them together and dig in.
After a few minutes of silence, Richie asks, “You wanna talk about it?”
Sighing, Eddie takes another bite of ice cream. “She said she would never talk to me again.”
“And that’s a bad thing?” Richie asks.
“Richie!” Eddie shoves his shoulder smiling a little despite himself. He takes a deep breath. “Look, I know she was terrible, I know she’s going to be terrible, because Lord knows she’s not going to leave me alone despite what she may say, but I can’t help but feel sorry for her. She has nothing without me.”
Richie takes a bite of Eddie’s ice cream and considers this for a moment. “Spaghetti, your mom is what, a million?” Eddie smiles and rolls his eyes. “Your dad died when you were a kid. Your mom has had pretty much your entire life to get a life of her own, but she refused. If your mom really wanted to be happy, she would have found a way, you know? It’s not your job to make her happy, remember?”
Nodding, Eddie sighs. “I know. I just feel bad.” And he does. He really does. It's something he's talked about at great length not only with the Losers but with his therapist, Billie, as well. 
Richie tosses his empty ice cream container on the counter and pulls Eddie close.
“Baby, I love you so much. You deserve only the best.” He takes a deep breath. “You deserve to be happy.”
“I know. I love you, too.” He squeezes Richie and pulls back. He tries to stifle a yawn, but Richie sees right through him.
“Aww, Sketti. Let’s go to bed.” He puts the ice cream away and presses another kiss into Eddie’s forehead. “Come on.” He hauls Eddie up into his arms and Eddie shrieks with laughter as he wraps his arms around Richie's neck.
“Are you really going to carry me up to bed bridal style?” Eddie asks.
Richie shrugs. “I thought it was fitting, being your first official night home and all.”
Eddie pulls him close for a kiss. “I love you so much.”
“Love you, too, Eds.”
“There’s only one problem,” Eddie says.
“And what’s that?”
“You’re going to throw out your back.”
Rolling his eyes and laughing, Richie says, “Right, like you are so, so heavy. Pfft. It will be ok.”
“Richie!”
“Eddie! You’re just scared I’m gonna drop you.” They laugh.
“No, I’m not. You would never.” They kiss again. “I love you so much.”
“I love you, too.” He pushes his forehead into Eddie’s. “Are you ready for bed?”
“Sure am,” Eddie says. Richie carries Eddie up to his bedroom— to their bedroom.
Their bedroom.
Because Eddie lives here now. Eddie is home.
After Richie puts Eddie down, they get changed into some pajamas. Eddie just wears one of Richie’s undershirts because he'd left his bags downstairs and neither of them wanted to go back down for them. They crawl under the blankets. Richie pulls Eddie close, curling around him. Eddie holds tightly to Richie’s arm and nuzzles into his chest.
Despite his stress and anxiety, Eddie manages to fall asleep pretty quickly. He wakes up early the next morning to the sound of pigeons and Richie snoring softly in his ear. He has to pee but he’s not ready to get up so he just lays there for a few more minutes.
Then he remembers his mother. He sighs and wonders how she’s doing, if she’d managed to get any sleep. He knows Richie is right, that it’s not Eddie’s job to make her happy, but still. It’s hard to let go.
After another minute he sighs and starts to try and pull free, but Richie holds him tighter. Eddie brushes some hair out of his boyfriend’s face and kisses his forehead.
“Rich,” Eddie murmurs.
“Uh uh, not yet.” Richie shoves his face into Eddie’s neck.
“Richie.” Eddie strokes the back of Richie’s neck.
“Just a few more minutes.”
“I just need to pee, and then I’ll be right back.”
“But don’t you have to—” Richie stops, pulls back, and looks up at Eddie. “You are home.”
“Yeah. I am.” Eddie kisses the tip of Richie’s nose. “But I really have to pee.”
Richie smiles widely. “Ok, ok. But you’re coming back.” Clearly he’s not going to be the only one who’s going to need time getting used to this new arrangement.
“Yes, love, I’m coming back.” They share a kiss and then Eddie gets up. After using the toilet, Eddie splashes some water on his face. It’s weird to think that soon he’s going to move 3,000 miles away.
Taking a deep breath, Eddie goes back to Richie. He curls up and pulls him close. They doze for a little while, and when they wake up again, they still aren’t ready to get up.
Richie lays there gently stroking Eddie’s arm and they listen to the soft sounds of spring; the birds, the wind through the trees, the voices from people on the street as they go about their day, and it’s so, so nice.
Neither of them say anything until Richie’s stomach rumbles. Without opening his eyes, Richie grumbles, “Traitor.”
“We can get up and eat and come back,” Eddie points out. “We don’t have to do anything today.”
Ruffling Eddie’s hair, Richie asks, “Why Eddie Kaspbrak, are you really suggesting we procrastinate, that we shirk our duties for the day?”
Smiling gently, Eddie kisses Richie. “I’m saying, I want to feel like this forever.”
“How’s that, Eddie spaghetti?”
Licking his lips, Eddie blushes and ducks his head. “Safe. And loved. Peaceful.”
Richie swallows hard and gives the back of Eddie’s neck a gentle squeeze. “Yeah?” He asks softly. “No regrets.”
Eddie shakes his head, no. “I love you so much. I feel so lucky, so damn lucky that we got this chance again when— We almost lost each other twice. It would have killed me to lose you a third time.”
They fall silent for a moment and then Richie sniffles a little. Shocked, Eddie pulls back to look at him.
“Richie what—?”
“It’s just— I’m just—” He swallows hard and tries to take a deep breath. “I—” He laughs.
“It’s ok, Richie. Talk to me.”
“I just love you so much, and I mean I know you love me, but I didn’t—” He lets out a small sob. “I never hoped, never dreamed you could love me as much as I love you. That— That you would—”
“Richie, I love you so much. Why would you even doubt that?” Eddie wipes away some of Richie’s tears.
“I didn’t. I mean, not really. It’s just—” He sighs. “My past relationships, for the most part, were good. We cared about each other and took care of each other, but they weren’t like this, weren’t this… this intense. It’s so amazing that we got lucky like we did, and I think— I know— I feel like—” He shakes his head a little.
“Richie, are you really at a loss for words?” Eddie asks and Richie laughs.
“I just love you so much. And I want to keep this feeling too. I want this moment to last forever.”
They kiss again and Eddie curls up under Richie’s chin. They don’t sleep, but they don’t talk and they don’t move, and it’s all just so nice.
Eventually they get up and shower so they can go get food, but it’s really ok because they are together and they love each other, and they know things aren’t always going to be smooth, but for right now, for these moments, everything is good, perfect even. They know that in the end, they will always have each other, and that’s more than enough.
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everyonewasabird · 3 years
Text
Brickclub 2.3.8 ‘Unpleasantness of putting up a pauper who might just be rich’
The Thenardiers really are society here in all it’s harshest aspects: the way they find ways to make the poor pay for being poor; the division between the children’s scorn for Cosette’s poverty and Cosette’s envy of their comforts; the way a rich man’s whims to have a child play are law and a poor man’s wish for the same is an absurd imposition. It’s all here in microcosm.
And once again, Valjean baffles society’s efforts at categorization.
I was struck last chapter by Cosette’s resilience and fearlessness in Valjean’s presence. This chapter, she’s cowering again, and we get a long description of the horror of her misery and fear. Once again it’s close to transforming her.
The expression in the eyes of this eight-year-old child was normally so forlorn and sometimes so tragic that it seemed, at certain moments, that she was in the process of turning into an idiot or a demon.
So far she’s staving off that transformation, as we saw in the woods, but it’s still encroaching. She needs to be out of here.
[Cut because this got long. Also, child abuse.]
I hadn’t previously caught how hard it is for Valjean to speak up on Cosette’s behalf. I’d pictured him in my memory as in control of this scene, and he’s actually only managing to bring himself to argue because of the harm about to be done to Cosette.
“Madame,” he said, smiling with an almost frightened look, “Bah! Let her play!”
Which makes perfect sense. This is society in microcosm, and it isn’t in him to outwardly rebel anymore--or even outwardly act like he deserves to be in society. Like Boulatruelle, his deference is suspicious.
Hugo doesn’t cast blame on the Thenardier girls. They’re just children, acting like children, and they’re lovely for it.
In the animal symbolism of the novel, Eponine’s play-acting sounds Significant.
“See, sister, this doll is more fun than the other one. It moves, it cries, it’s nice and warm. See, sister, let’s play with it. It will be my little girl. I’ll be a lady. I’ll come to see you and you’ll look at it. Little by little you’ll see its whiskers and you’ll get a shock. And then you’ll see its ears and then you’ll see its tail and you’ll get a shock. And you’ll say to me: ‘Oh, my God!’ And I’ll say to you: ‘Yes, Madame, that’s my little girl and she’s like that. Little girls are like that these days.’”
I never know exactly what to do with cats. They’re positive in this text, but what do they mean? I suppose they’re something that’s both harmless and not exactly tame like dogs are, capable of catching mice to fix God’s errors--a symbol of revolution--and capable, in a pinch, of transforming into lions. The people of Paris were cats in 1817 and presumably still are.
The child-that-is-secretly-a-cat also has, at least visually, some echoes of Little Red Riding Hood for me (”What big ears you have, Grandma!”) It’s a cat, not a wolf, but still. That story seems relevant to the story we’ve just come from, where our young werewolf child met a stranger in the woods and brought him home.
I just looked up whether Little Red Riding Hood would have been a cultural touchstone here, and of course it was--Perrault wrote it down in 1697.
Wikipedia also recorded this quote from Perrault about its moral:
From this story one learns that children, especially young lasses, pretty, courteous and well-bred, do very wrong to listen to strangers, And it is not an unheard thing if the Wolf is thereby provided with his dinner. I say Wolf, for all wolves are not of the same sort; there is one kind with an amenable disposition – neither noisy, nor hateful, nor angry, but tame, obliging and gentle, following the young maids in the streets, even into their homes. Alas! Who does not know that these gentle wolves are of all such creatures the most dangerous!
Little Red Riding Hood may not really be something the text has in mind right now, but that sure sounds relevant to what’s just happened. A littler girl went into the woods alone amid talk of wolves, met a stranger, and took him home. (It also applies well to Fantine, alas. But Valjean is a very different kind of gentled wolf.)
Hugo has some thoughts to share about women and I don’t like them at all. I’m skipping them, I don’t feel like fighting with Hugo right now.
Cosette “vaguely listening” and picking up “a few words here and there” as Mme Thenardier insults her and says her mother abandoned her is more heartbreaking than if she’d been listening intently. It gives a sense that either there’s nothing particularly new in these statements, or else Cosette doesn’t feel invested in them because they don’t contain the information that really matters to her, which is whether or not to expect imminent physical violence.
Or.... nope. I definitely read that wrong.
By “vaguely listening” Hugo meant “dissociating.”
Because the scene that follows is:
Meanwhile the drinkers, all three-quarters sozzled, were singing their dirty song again, jollier than ever. It was an off-colour story in very bad taste in which the Holy Virgin and the Infant Jesus both featured. Mother Thénardier had wandered off to join in the outburts of hilarity. Cosette, under the table, was watching the fire, which was reflected in her staring eyes; she had again begun to rock the sort of swaddled doll she had made, and while she rocked it, she sang in a low voice: “My mother is dead! My mother is dead! My mother is dead!”
The only versions of holy motherly love that have trickled down to her are corrupted into near unrecognizeability. Her eyes are full of flames, another hint of that demonic transformation under duress that she’s still skirting the edges of.
There are a couple of ways to read “my mother is dead.” I kind of suspect that Cosette, like last time transformation threatened, is grimly hanging on to her sense of herself and the dim bright side: her mother wasn’t a bad woman who abandoned her, the only reason she is isn’t here is because she’s dead. Cosette claimed to Valjean not to have a mother, but it’s clear she has complex feelings on the subject that she can’t articulate. These lines feel like such an act of faith, actually: It’s Cosette believing, against all evidence, that her mother’s love for her is real, that she would still come if she could.
And she follows that with an act of such courage and hope and defiance: she steals the doll and is enraptured by it for a quarter of an hour. She stays human. She isn’t beaten yet.
She must know she’s going to pay for this--but she would pay worse for giving up hope, too, or for giving in to the thing that’s trying to turn her demonic.
Fuck, she’s fighting so fucking hard. Valjean is beaten down by society’s expectations of him, but Cosette isn’t. Holy hell, I love her so much.
The retribution of society in the person of the Thenardiess rains down on her, of course. It says she sobs, which is one more way in which she isn’t Valjean in the bagne--she can still cry when she’s sad.
And Valjean is also near tears. We know he wept when he was being shackled fo the bagne the first time, and we know he hadn’t wept any time between then and the bishop’s mercy. I’m not sure we’ve seen him weep any time since.
There’s so MUCH in the fact that he’s watched all this happen. He was worse off than she was when he showed up here--beaten down, hopeless, almost like he was after leaving the bagne the first time.
We never hear directly what the bagne did to him the second time--but we can see it. And it’s a lot like what it did the first time.
And instead of being saved by the bishop, he’s being saved by Cosette. We watch him becoming a parent over the course of this chapter.
Cosette doesn’t touch the doll. Valjean puts the doll’s hand in hers.
And that thing about Cosette being irrepressible--as soon as someone is kind, she becomes a kid again, like she’s been waiting for it all along. Because, she probably has. Shoujo Cosette isn’t wrong about the way she seems to have been waiting all along for her mother to come for her.
“I’ll call her Catherine.” Oh, my heart. Unlike post-bagne Valjean, she’s so very ready to be saved.
Valjean after sitting still a long time rises up suddenly in a sentence structure that feels like his sudden decision making at the bishop’s. Once again, he looks down at sleeping people, this time on Cosette.
She left her shoe out, because she still believes the good fairy will come. And Valjean does come.
I didn’t expect this to feel like Valjean at the bishop’s, but it IS. The transformation Cosette is resisting is one he’s more or less suffered again.
She saves him the way the bishop did.
I love them.
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league-of-thots · 4 years
Text
The Summoning
Pairing: dabi x reader x hawks
Word Count: 8.1k
Warnings: NONCON/DUBCON, blood play, dp, sacrificial summoning, mind manipulation, angels/demons/magic, gore, branding
A/N: So this was supposed to be a short little fic.... but thats not how it turned out, but im happy that it came out this way. I think its much better than what I originally had. Uh, please read the warnings because this has some things which could definitely be triggering.
thanks to @lady-bakuhoe, @ikinabi, and @marilla-eldriana for listening to me talk my ass off about it LMAO
other tags: @yaoyorozuwrites, @dee-madwriter
               You were beyond upset, tonight wasn’t supposed to be a night where you were heading into a bar on your own, dressed up for a date cut early, and freshly out of a relationship. As you sat down at the end of a rowdy bar, you can’t help the tears flowing out of your eyes. You’ve been holding them in for a while, trying not to break down in public, but sitting here with nothing else to do, you can’t stop the small sobs that break out.
               The bartender makes her way towards you, her lips turned down sadly as she starts cleaning up some glasses at the sink near you methodically. Your sobs die down as she starts speaking to you.
               “Rough night, sis?”
               “Yeah, you could say that again.”
               “Need something to drown it out?” you nod as she goes to grab some heavy liquid you can’t recognize. Whatever it is, it smells rank, you think as you lift the shot glass up towards your nose to sniff it.  You shoot it back, and shudder at the brief taste you get before you swallow it down, throat burning a bit as you let out a slight cough. She offers another with a gesture and you nod in response, quickly downing the second, and you nurse the third.
               Suddenly, a man in a raggedy black overcoat sits down beside you, raising a finger as he asks for some type of sake, and says “One for the crying mess, too.” In a raspy voice. You don’t even feel offended, it’s true, but he didn’t need to say it so harshly right in front of you. Although you wouldn’t say no to the free drink, as you quickly drained the one that you’d bought.
               “Thanks,” you mumble to him, the alcohol not really hitting you yet. You wipe the tears from your face. “What’s your name?”
               “Dabi.” He answers shortly, grabbing the sake and tipping it back, watching as you do the same. “You’re new here, but drinking like you’re about to be enlisted. What’s up?”
               Now normally, you wouldn’t be giving your life story to a random stranger who- quite frankly- looked like he belonged in a prison cell. However, normally you didn’t have four generous shots of heavy liquor coursing through your veins after having just broken up with your last boyfriend of just over a year.
               “Stupid asshat of a guy dumps me after over a year of being together for some stupid reason.” You sigh, head in your hands. “I don’t even get why? Like I was so blindsided and I feel like such a fucking idiot.”
               “Sounds like a real idiot,” Dabi replies, sliding you another drink which you eagerly accept, drinking it in a rage.
               “Like, fuck, I’m just not ready yet! Like, yeah if he was hard, I’d help him deal with it. But I just didn’t feel ready for sex, and he kept trying to force me, and when I get mad at that I’m the bad guy.” You’re starting to get a little dizzy, but at the moment, you’re so upset that you can’t really be bothered by it. You just want to be angry and heartbroken and drunk for a little while. So you don’t really have to face moving out of your shared apartment until later, tomorrow at the earliest.
                 “Was it a one-off thing? ‘Cause that’s a bit of an overreaction if that’s the case.” You’re so happy to have someone to vent too that you don’t notice the intent expression Dabi has on his face, you miss the way his body leans towards you eagerly waiting for an answer.
               “Well, no.” you shift a bit uncomfortable in your seat. “But he said he was fine with it! That he was alright with waiting.”
               “Well obviously he was lying. You must’ve been really stingy with sex.” You shouldn’t feel that hurt by a stranger’s words, especially when he has no idea about who you are and what your story was.
               “I just didn’t want my first time to be forced onto me.” You mumble, looking into your glass. You were starting to feel the dizziness from the rapidly consumed drinks. “I wasn’t ready for it.” You could feel the tears welling up again, not even bothering to try and stop them.
               “Makes sense. So, you’re a virgin then? And your boyfriend wanted to have sex and you didn’t so he broke up with you?” The odd phrasing of the questions didn’t even stand out to you.
               “Yes! Except he said it was fine and I believed him!” you wail out, you’re crying hard now into your arms that are lain on the bar top. You feel a hesitant hand patting your shoulder rather awkwardly, but his hand is really warm and you feel a bit better at the soft contact.
               “Sounds like a real idiot to me. You want another drink, doll?” he says softly into your ear. His breath tickles your neck a bit and you giggle a bit as you sway on your stool.
               “I don’t have the money! Ahaha… I’ve gotta save it now because I have to move out of the stupid apartment.”
               “Don’t worry, I have some money to spend. What better way to spend it than on a pretty girl, hmm?” You blush a little at the attention. His blue eyes are intense and you can’t keep eye contact for long with him.
               “I mean, if you’d like too, I won’t stop you.” You hum.
               “Alright then.” He gestures to the bartender, a dangerous grin on his face. You thought that you’d be spending the night alone, but you’re glad to have been proven wrong.
               The two of you nurse some drinks as you talk a bit, most of the talking done by you, the alcohol loosening your mouth as you tell him a lot of your time with your ex, and whatever random thought pops into your head. He doesn’t talk much, but it’s not really off-putting as he usually interjects with sarcastic one liners and small questions, nodding as you continue your stories.
               It’s getting later in the night and you’re blissfully drunk, unable to process the shitty feelings and how terrible you feel. Dabi seems to notice this and gets one of those grins he gets when you say how bad you want to fucking deck your ex in the face. It makes your heart beat in excitement.
               “You’ll do shots with me, right?” You nod, excited. Dabi orders six drinks, and you feel yourself tense in sudden apprehension. That’s a lot considering that you’d already drank a few… how many was it now? It doesn’t matter, you tell yourself. He seems to notice your hesitance though.
               “What? Can’t handle a few shots?” his smile is teasing, but his words are daring you to agree with him, and you bristle in response.
               “Of course I can!” part of you is screaming at you, telling you how bad of an idea this is, but its easy to drown out in the haze of your mind.
               “Good, you can try to keep up with me then.” He shoots down the first without even warning and you scramble to catch up with him, grabbing the glass sitting in front of you, and tossing the drink back. You’re coughing a bit, the harshness of the shot winning against your already weakened and sensitive throat. Boldly you grab the next and shoot it down as well.
               That might’ve been a mistake, because you splutter more, you can barely think, and you feel like you’re choking on the air you’re breathing in. Dabi’s face looks concerned as he asks you if you’re alright. You can only shake your head in response, knowing that you can’t possibly try to talk like this. He sees you swaying and clutching your now stomach as it rolls nauseatingly.
               “Don’t worry, this is on me, I thought she was alright with them.” He’s speaking to the bartender, who looks worried and a little suspicious given his appearance, but his voice sounds like its in the end of a long tunnel to you. You accept being pulled into his arms as he leads you outside for some fresh air, he’s produced a bottle of water, and opens it one handed before handing it to you.
               You try to thank him but that goes terribly, as you start dry heaving when you open your mouth. He has a sad, but un-surprised look on his face as he takes in your motions. If you were focused enough you probably would’ve said he looked satisfied, but that doesn’t make sense because he has no idea who you are.
               Suddenly, everything starts spinning and you vaguely feel Dabi place your arm over his shoulder. You close your eyes, desperate to try and stop yourself from vomiting all over the man who was trying to help you. It’s your main focus as you lean almost all of your weight onto him and drag your feet across the pavement. You don’t know where he’s taking you but you can barely think much less stop him and you continue to keep your eyes closed, not worried at all.
                  Dabi couldn’t believe his luck meeting you. He’d just finished the final touches on the circle, he was practically all set up except for the link, the sacrifice. Of course, he’d been planning to go into bars to find the perfect person for his ritual, but he didn’t think it would’ve happened so quickly! He’d expected it to take months, and what a relief it was that it hadn’t! He can barely contain his excitement as he keeps your form tight to his body.
               You were so naïve, so trusting, latching onto the first person that offered you kindness. Getting drunk on your own in a rather sketchy bar on a Saturday night, what had you been thinking? He knew you’d had a shitty day, but getting drunk at home surely would’ve been the superior option, anyone could see that.
               It’s a decent walk to his place unfortunately, he knows that the usual 20-minute walk will likely double with you barely able to stand, much less walk quickly. So, he sighs and reminds himself exactly why this is so important. Why he’s even bothering to ‘save’ your pathetic form.
               The runs and sigils are going to look fucking gorgeous carved into your body, he thinks, still dragging you along. You’re almost to the point of unconsciousness, he notices, and it might be easier for him if you were unconscious. At least then he wouldn’t have to be concerned for how he drags you. The pitiful whimpering noises are so annoying to listen to, so he moved slow enough that you could sort of drag yourself and not make those noises.
               Dabi keeps running through the steps in his head, the rituals, the incantations, and the carvings…. He knew he was a powerful castor. He could only hope that the practice he’d put in, the training he’d put in and the beautiful and pure sacrifice he’d found would be enough to actually summon Satan.
               He knows with the power boost he could finally rid the world of his wretched father. Could finally get rid of him and his stupid fucking followers and coven.
               He’d take them all. And he’d win, he knew it.
               He’s finally dragged you to his apartment, and at this point you’re barely conscious in his arms. Good, it would make the carvings so much easier with you unable to struggle. Plus, with the fact that the alcohol would cloud your senses so you’d feel less pain and make less noise. He wonders if you’re even going to understand what’s happening to you, if you’re going to cry out in fear and confusion. He can’t even lie, the idea of that makes him feel a warmth down in his core, makes him start to feel hard, god, he bets your screams will sound as pretty as you are.
               He has one of the only basement rooms in the apartment, the other two abandoned because of how cold and dirty it is down there, plus there was only cold water that ran down in the basement. However, it was secluded and quiet there, and that’s exactly what Dabi needed in a place. Somewhere where he could lay low while he bides his time, planning and training and waiting. He wasn’t originally a patient person, but he’d learned to be, and it was something that he was proud of.
               Luckily, he doesn’t have to explain to any of his upstairs neighbours why he’s dragging you across the lobby to the back set of stairs that only lead down to the concrete hall downstairs. He’s gotten a pretty large space in his basement room, especially with the way he’s completely emptied his living room. The couch is pushed against the wall, table and tv also against the wall leaving a large rug on the floor. The lucky part was that he didn’t ever have a ton of possessions, so it was rather easy for him to make the circle on the floor and cover it with a large goat-skin rug.
               He doesn’t have many chairs, only the ones at the small bar behind which his kitchen is located, so he tosses you onto the leather couch on your side in case you were to vomit. He can’t have you dying before he sacrifices you after all. He checks to make sure that you’re really out of it before he goes into his washroom to start cleaning himself and preparing his mind for the layers of spell he’s about to cast.
               He’s started clearing his mind as he walks into his room, crystals glistening even in the non-natural light, as he starts to slow his breathing in a rather deep and slow pattern. He feels himself start to go into a state he can only get into when he’s concentrating on magic. All his troubles seem to slip away as he steps into the warm running water. He keeps the sigils he’s going to be needing soon in mind as he washes away all the dirt and grime from the bar, washing away all the petty crime to get prepared for something far, far worse.
               When he’s towelled off, he puts on some cotton boxers, and soft grey pants, leaving himself shirtless in the chilling air. He feels the goosebumps start to creep up his arms as he grabs the old iron lighter, the only gift from his mother that he’d manage to take with him when he had to get out with his life after his father had found out what he’d done.
               You’re pretty much asleep on the couch when he comes out, and he looks over you, your innocent form, so fucking pleased at the sacrifice he’d managed to snatch. Turning away, he starts to take out some candles that he has stashed in the wooden chest beside his couch, the colours he uses going to be black, purple and red.
               After moving the carpet off, he places the candles in groups of three at the points and nodes of the circled star. Afterwards, he grabs the red chalk he has and starts to write the various Latin incantations around the circle. He ignores your soft snores, you seem to be mumbling something in your sleep, as he continues his work. It’s taking a lot more time than he’d like it to.
               But soon enough, he thinks, it’ll all be worth it.
                 You feel yourself lifted into the air, your head spinning even before you even open your eyes. Where are you? What’s happening? You try to open your eyes, but it’s so nauseating and disorienting seeing the dark room spinning around, you’re sure you’ve never been in before. You feel yourself lowered onto the ground, rather roughly. You keep your eyes closed trying to wait out the dizzy spell as you hear the click of a lighter, and you shudder, expecting to feel a sting of burning flames.
               But you don’t, and you hear the clicking a few more times. You start to feel a little more stable and you squint, trying to see what’s happening. You try and sit up, but you can’t with your dexterity hindered by the alcohol, and your wrists and ankles bound in ropes. You start to panic slightly, the last thing you can remember is accepting a few drinks from a man, Dabi wasn’t it?
               “Oh, you’re up. That’s good, you need to be conscious for this part.” Speak of the devil and there he shall appear. You feel a surge of fear as you turn your head towards the man.
               “What did you do? Why am I here?” you stumble, trying to cut through the fog in your head.
               “More like what did you do? Who goes out on their own in a sketchy part of town late at night? You were practically begging for something bad to happen to you.” You notice that he’s half naked and you shudder, remembering what you’d told him before and you get a terrible feeling in your gut.
               “No I wasn’t! I just wanted the night to not be complete shit!” You desperately search for anything in your reach that you could use to get yourself out of this situation. You can’t even roll away, you notice that there are iron pegs nailed into the ground and you are tied to those. You want to cry, you don’t know what you did to deserve this.
               “Well, you should’ve just stayed at home,” you hear a knife being pulled out of a holder, and in the corner of your eye you can see Dabi heating the blade against a large gas flame. It’s a twisted knife, the three sides a blue and black metal with a small skull on the end of the hilt. The metal is glowing red hot at the parts where it had been heated though.
               You squirm away from him as much as you can in your restraints when he kneels in front of you with the knife in his hand. “Stop fucking wiggling, It’ll hurt you more because I will nail you to the fucking floor if there’s a chance of me messing these up because of you.” You stop your motions, not wanting whatever’s coming to be made worse. So instead, you start screaming as loud as you can for help, the desperation in your tone evident.
               He just throws his head back in mad laughter at that. “Keep on screaming! I haven’t even started the fun bit yet baby! Nobody can hear you down here you know? It’s utterly fucking pointless for you to cry for help. But please go on, it makes me feel soooo good.”
               You feel your eyes widen in horror looking at the man’s face. He’s still oddly attractive, the flames giving his face sharper shadows, making him look almost inhuman. You’ve never wanted to disappear from someone’s gaze so badly before.
               You shudder as you feel his cold hand push you over and down on your stomach. How are you supposed to get out of there when you’re lying on your stomach with him pressing his weight into you.
               You are mid thought when the first lick of iron hot metal is brought onto your back. You cry out in surprise and pain, the knife tugging at your muscles and you can feel the ridges it has. Tears spring to your eyes, but it doesn’t seem to hurt as much as you would’ve thought, it must be all the alcohol still coursing its way through your system.
               You can’t focus on the words he’s murmuring as he continues to slice designs with purpose into your back. He laughs whenever you let out a vicious scream and you can’t see his face but you can tell he’s enjoying the process immensely.
               “Shirt’s getting in the way of the rest of it sweetheart, guess it’s time to take it off now.” He’s so smug which makes you feel humiliated as you press your head into the ground trying to put yourself together. You whimper as you feel your shirt lifted and hear the fabric tearing.
               You’re now shivering half naked on the cold concrete floor and starting to lose your grip on reality as the pain sends you drifting in and out of consciousness. You feel sharp pain as he starts designing up your spine, humming a bit as he goes. Why’d you have to meet a psychopath tonight? Wasn’t your luck just so shitty lately.
               You lose track of time as he works, you’re pretty sure that you lose consciousness for most of it, but luckily Dabi doesn’t wake you up for it. However, when you do come to, you notice how badly your throat hurts, you must’ve been screaming a lot for that to happen.
               “You ready for the front now? Then we can finally get the real thing started.”
               “Please, isn’t there enough? I don’t want anymore stop please! Just let me go.” You try pleading with him, knowing it’s probably not going to work. He doesn’t even deign you with response to your pathetic attempt. Instead he flips you over, your hands now positioned up above your head.
               Your limbs feel like lead, and you feel as if all your energy has been draining out of you along with the blood that’s come oozing out of your wounds. You can’t move, you’re stuck and all you can do is look at the man doing this to you and seethe in anger and hatred. His eyes seem to be burning with bright blue flames, but surely that must be you hallucinating? People’s eyes don’t glow.
               “Finally,” he breathes out as he leans back and admires his handiwork. He’s looking at you with blown open eyes, erection prominent and you can see the outline through his sweatpants. “Now it’s just to call him while I carve my name into your chest. You’re gonna spell it out for me, got that doll? Or else I can start working on the other bits of skin.”
               You just want it over with at this point, you’ll go along with his idea just so you can finally get out. “Fine.” You whisper, resigned to it at this point.
               “D.” He must’ve heated up the knife again, because it burns more than it did before and you scream your throat raw as he carves this much deeper that the other markings.
               “A!” you screech, hoping it ends soon, at least he has a short name.
               “B!” your voice cracks in your agony and your chest is aching.
               “I!” you sob, tears streaming down your face again as feel your body go completely limp as you succumb to darkness once again.
                 Dabi tries to get his breathing in control, looking at your broken and bleeding form. He’s never felt this aroused by someone, and he was right, your screams were like an orchestra playing the most beautiful music he’s ever heard.
               But that was a bonus. It was time for the summoning, and so it was time to focus and go through it. He slices his left palm, your blood mixing with his before he lets it spill over, mesmerized by how it drip, drip, drips onto the stained concrete. One last incantation that he has to say, and he hasn’t been this excited since he’d first found out he was a castor, and that he was a pretty powerful one at that.
               He waits anxiously in silence, eyes on you as more blood oozes from all the markings, there’s thin linking of red all around the cuts. He wishes that the sacrifice didn’t require a virgin because he desperately wanted to take it from you himself.
               Lost in his thoughts, the sudden burst of wind that erupts from the centre of the circle, from under your form blows out all the candles.
               “Well, aren’t you an ambitious one. Trying to summon Satan all on your own.” Dabi jerks around at the lilting voice from behind him, somehow, it’s both amused and condescending at the same time, and Dabi bristles at it.
               “You aren’t powerful enough to be him, I didn’t summon you.” His teeth are grinding in frustration.
               “So rude, and we’ve only just met! Look kid, you don’t have the power or the numbers to summon Satan right now, but I’m the highest-level under-creature you could get.” His eyes seem to glow gold in the darkness, they light up his sharp features.
               Dabi lets out a growl with a few curses. “Whatever, that doesn’t matter, I knew it was a long shot. You said you were the highest I could get. How high is that?” His grin is devious as he hears the question.
               “I’m Hawks, fallen angel at your service. As for how high I am? I’m in the 5th level range.” Dabi whistles at that. “So, does that mean you’re going to strike a deal with me? I haven’t gotten a serious one in a while. It’s getting seriously boring down there.”
               “You should be able to lend me the amount of firepower I’d need for it. What are your terms, and how does the transfer work in your deals?” he grins showing off his fangs a bit as he cages Dabi in a bit despite being shorter, wings making him seem much larger though.
               “Here’s the fun part, because I’m a fallen angel, it works a little differently! My powers got corrupted so that sacrifice you have there – oh she’s an actual virgin! – is going to be your ticket to my powers.”
               “So, I have to keep her safe?”
               He shrugs, “You asked, I’m just telling you friend. Obviously, the price is the same as any other deal.”
               “Obviously.”
               “So, you’re prepared for that? Hell isn’t as nice as you’d think.”
               “No shit Sherlock, but don’t worry, I’ve thought it through a fair bit.” Hawks laughs at that.
               “Alright! Since my fall was lust based, the power transfer is too, if you catch my drift.” Hawks says with a raised eyebrow.
               “….sort of?”
               “Oh my god, are you an idiot?”
               “I don’t want to hear that from you, chicken man.” Dabi just wants this over with, he’s getting a little antsy. “Can we get started already?”
               “Alright then, time to wake up sleeping beauty over there.”
                 You feel yourself being blearily shaken awake, and you’re shocked to see a different face than Dabi’s in front of you. He’s gorgeous, and his wings, despite being an eerie dark red, are full and look so soft. Blearily, you try to reach up to try and feel them, forgetting that your hands are tied to the peg on the floor. The man looks at you with pity and amusement.
               “Hey there, I’m Hawks, are you ready to become a human magic battery?” he says cheerily, words much at odds with his words and expression.
               “What, no, what’s going on? Please there’s a man here – Dabi – and he’s kidnapped me! You have to help me out, call the police, why are you smiling?” You feel the tiny bit of hope that had grown up come crashing down as you observed the – man? Angel? – who called himself Hawks.
               “Yeah, my friend Dabi and I have a little arrangement here. You know what I am right? You should know that struggling is useless. Just lay back and enjoy the ride, baby.” His eyes pierce your soul and you find yourself unable to even think of a response to that.
               You don’t even completely realize what that means until he starts nuzzling your neck as his hands go towards your tits, starting to play with your pebbled nipples, his hands surprisingly warm.
               “No please, I don’t want that…” you say weakly, completely spent already from the ordeal that Dabi had put you through. “I just want to go home!” you’re so delirious from pain and the small bits of pleasure you’re trying to pretend aren’t happening at Hawks’ toying with you.
               “Too bad little bird, you don’t really have a say in the matter at the moment.” He bites down on your neck hard, drawing blood which he then licks up. “So, fucking good! Haven’t been able to do this in so long.” He’s grinding into you, the layers of fabric bringing you stimulation and pleasure as you moan, immediately tensing up in embarrassment and shame.
               “Don’t be like that, I always make people feel good like this, so just relax.” His eyes are glowing and as you look into them, you feel yourself relaxing a bit. Maybe you should relax, he definitely knows what he’s doing, you can feel the heat building in your core and your hazy mind start to lose focus. His eyes, are just so fucking beautiful, and the way his fingers are moving feel amazing.
               He turns his head down, lapping lightly at your breast. His tongue is warm, but the metal stud on his tongue makes you moan out in delight.
               “Oh so you do like it!” he exclaims brightly. “Let’s get this started now baby.” Your mind is still screaming at you that this is wrong, that you don’t want this, that you need to struggle and get free. With all the distractions in your mind, its so deliciously easy to fall into a hazy daydream like trance as he licks up the blood from your wounds. His tongue makes it feel so, so good. He switches breasts, tugging on your nipples as you mewl in delight. Once you let go, everything was so much better!
               He sucks bruises onto your hips, nipping at them with his sharpened fangs. “Oi, don’t enjoy yourself too much there Dabi, you gotta go a round too after.” You turn to see Dabi stretched out like a cat on his couch, his cock out of his pants as he languidly strokes it. It’s pierced and you find yourself imagining how it would feel scraping your walls.
               There was only one thing bothering you, and it was that everywhere Hawks touched grew hotter and hotter, not in an unpleasant way, more in an antsy, wanting to move and run mood. You felt like you were vibrating and you didn’t understand it. But you couldn’t bring yourself to care as your jaw dropped when the angel ripped off your bottoms harshly.
               “Let’s see if you taste as good as the other humans I’ve devoured.” He rips the ankle restraints as he tosses your knees over his shoulders and licks a stripe up your pussy. You shudder at the new sensation, biting on your lip to stifle your moan.
               He sees that as a challenge and spends his time tasting your juices along his tongue, his eyes seemingly brighter as he works at your pussy, teasing your clit with his tongue stud. He keeps working at you with single minded determination, teasing your hole with his sharp nail and you let out a squeak, which quickly turns into a groan as he slides his finger in. He adds a second as soon as he can, loving hearing the sounds your pussy makes as he scissors you open.
               You’ve never felt this good in your life, you can barely tell what’s happening, but you feel waves of pleasure as you feel his tightening in your lower belly.
               “You’re getting close, huh?” Hawks brings his face up, eyes lidded as he licks the juices around his mouth. “Do you want to cum?”
               “Yes!”
               “Well, I don’t know, you were pretty awful to my business partner over there… maybe I shouldn’t let you cum.” He brings his second hand up to his face, lightly scratching at his scruff, and you begin to panic. You have this insatiable need, you don’t know where it came from, but it’s not letting you think at all. There’s this voice yelling at you that it’s Hawks’ fault, but he’s literally an angel. How could he be doing something so disgusting to you?
               So you open your mouth, “Please let me cum, I’ll be so good for you sir! I didn’t mean to be awful to him, I just didn’t understand what he was trying to do!”
               “That’s fucking right.” There’s a sudden intensity in his eyes that makes you feel like your heart’s stopped. “You didn’t know what you were doing. I’m your guardian angel after all, and I came here because you were going to make a mistake that would put you in danger.”
               “Oh my god…” the horror you feel chokes your throat, yet it doesn’t rid you of the incessant need that’s been plaguing you.
               “Would your guardian angel ever steer you wrong, Y/N?” he grabs your chin, nails cutting shallowly when he presses.
               “No, you wouldn’t!” you shake your head, trying to convey exactly how much you were repenting.
               “So, listen carefully little lady. This is important.” He waits for your assent before he continues. “You’re in a very dangerous spot, so I needed a friend here to help you out, he’s going to keep you nice and safe. All you have to do in return is let yourself have some fun, some pleasure in your life. I mean, you’re begging for that exact pleasure right now.”
               There’s a little niggling at the back of your head, it’s telling you how good you’ll be treated, you’ll be loved and accepted. You start to shake it off, but you can’t when it tells you that nobody will ever make you feel good like this, who would want too? Here you have two beings ready to make you feel good like you’ve never felt before and you’re denying them?
               “Of course, that sounds like a great idea Mr. Hawks.”
               “Alright, what a good girl, see Dabi? Isn’t she great?”
               “I knew I’d gotten lucky, but I didn’t realize how lucky until now.” The grin on his face is satisfied, but as you look longer, the more you see the pleasure and happiness he feels too.
               “Do I get to cum now? You keep saying how good I am…” you don’t remember thinking about saying that, but the words seem to come out on their own accord.
               In response Hawks goes back to your neglected pussy and starts thrusting his fingers into a spot inside you that makes you gasp in surprise. With all the swirling emotions and pain and alcohol you feel yourself tighten and let loose quickly, hitting your high in ecstasy. Your back arches, and somewhere in the back of your mind, you notice that your shoulders have definitely been scratched up badly.
               But why care when you feel so good now?
               Your eyes are closed as you lie there, battered and cut and so blissed out as Hawks removes his pants and looks around.
               “You didn’t bring lube?” he directs the question to Dabi.
               “You need that? I thought you had like, magic and shit.”
               Hawks swallows his annoyance, “I’m in a mortal form dipshit. Channeling divine or corrupt energy is hard to do without fucking blowing myself up.”
               Dabi just shrugs. “I mean to be fair; I didn’t know I was getting some angel that got kicked out of heaven for being horny. Or else I definitely would’ve bought some.”
               “Whatever,” he mutters. “I like this way better.” You hear the conversation, but can’t be bothered to really understand what they’re saying. All you know is that you feel someone leaning above you.
               Hawks takes a feather from his wings, carefully turning it in his hands. “Now, I’m not going to lie, this is going to hurt a bit. But I’ll make you feel so good you won’t even remember it, alright?” You nod along blearily, barely hearing him.
               He grins and slices a long line right above your hip, and you barely feel it being so numb. You do feel his fingers pressing into the cut though, and you try to squirm away, but that just makes him slam you down with his other hand in a surprising show of force for his physique. It feels so wrong when you feel him wiggle his fingers a bit inside your skin, and you shut your eyes so you don’t have to see it. Apparently, that amuses Dabi, who starts guffawing off to the side somewhere. The pain brings up all off the fear you’ve been feeling the whole night, and it shocks you. You start screaming, begging to be let go hysterically while you see Hawks, his hand covered in your blood, fisting his length, mixing some of the precum with it.
               “I thought you said you were going to behave.” He growls and you feel an intense pressure on your mind for a second before your fear starts to fade away easily. “Much better.” He says to your relaxing form.
               “You gotta teach me how to do that,” Dabi comments, which just has Hawks rolling his eyes.
               “Shut up and let me enjoy this, I haven’t had sex in so long, warlock.” That elicits a snort from Dabi as he settles back down.
               He lines up his cock with your slick entrance, teasing a bit as the blood and your juices mix together and it lets him start to work his way inside of you. You’re panting, fingers scrabbling at everything they can reach as he pushes through. You feel a mix of pain and pleasure as he pushes all the way into you. He surprisingly lets you adjust, breathing heavily as your walls squeeze intensely around the intrusion.
               It feels so, so good though and Hawks can tell that’s how you feel as he grins and moves your legs up and around his hips. You whine as he stretches you out more with the new position, and he grunts a bit as he starts thrusting his hips, dragging his sharpened nails down your side without breaking the skin. He puts his head to your neck, pressing open mouth kisses there that make you relax around him, and as soon as he feels that change, he starts pounding into you harder. You hear lewd noises and realize that most of them, are in fact, coming from you. Which is a little jarring of a realization but in your state, you can’t really say it surprised you. It was more of a ‘huh, that’s me then’ moment.
               The sound of skin slapping on skin fills the room along with grunts of exertion and moans of pleasure from the pair of you. You can feel yourself building up to that point once again, and you don’t realize it until you’re clamping down on his cock with a shout of pleasure. Hawks groans at the sound, and feels your tight walls somehow clamp down on him harder and starts bucking into you, nails digging into your hips as he chases his own release.
               Had you been in any normal state of mind, you might’ve found it disturbing that Hawks seemed to be murmuring a bunch of Latin as he pounded into you. You might’ve noticed the hand he placed on your heart left a searing imprint that turned dark red. You might’ve noticed his pupils contract into slits and his eyes turn a deep red for a few seconds.
               But you didn’t.
               You felt like you were floating, and figured if this could be compared to anything, it would be a more painful version of a wet, fever dream.
               Suddenly, Hawks comes inside you and you feel the warm liquid fill you up as he thrusts a couple more times, working himself through it. He stays inside, but that’s not what takes your focus. The feeling that you were vibrating without moving was back with a vengeance, but you also felt this numbness that started from your core that moved outwards until your entire body was feeling that way. As Hawks pulled out, you felt so empty, you felt like you didn’t know what to do. So, you let your eyes drift shut while you heard some talk about ‘a transfer’ and ‘both it her.’
               Suddenly, your wrist bindings were also stripped off and you look up in surprise to see Hawks with that same feather setting you free, while Dabi moved to the bedroom.
               “You still going to be good for us, little lady? We’re almost done for tonight.” He coos at you, lightly stroking your chin with his finger.  You give him a small nod, and with that, he picks you up as if you were a stuffed toy and you lean into his shoulder as he brings you to the bedroom.
               “Right, at least you’re prepared already so we can get into this quickly.” Hawks says brusquely, bringing himself to the bed and setting you down before he sits as well.
               “You were enjoying yourself a minute ago, what’s with the sudden rush?” Dabi’s eyebrow is quirked as he puts his hand in your hair and starts scratching your head. You shamelessly sigh in appreciation.
               “My times running out, gotta get this transfer done soon or else we’re going to have to start over another day.” Hawks grouches. “Damn I don’t miss all the rules, but having unlimited mortal form time? That’s something I miss about upstairs.”
               Turning his attention to you Dabi says, “Here, you enjoyed that guy, so you’ll love sitting on my cock.”
               Right now, nothing sounded better, so using the last of your strength, you crawled up to his lap and he guided you right above his dick. He brought you down slowly, ever so slowly, and you felt every inch of his dick inside you, especially those piercings that gave you an amazing sensation.
               “There’s a good girl, much better than before,” he gets out.
               “Now you’re going to need to relax, alright Y/N? It’s going to feel really tight at first but you’ll feel great afterwards.” Hawks is mumbling this into your neck, playing with your hair a little bit while he does.
               “I can do that,” you say, unaware of what he was going to do, but ready to please him.
               “Good, Dabi you might have to distract her a little bit, she’s pretty tight for one person, let alone two.” Dabi smirks but leans back, starting to play with your nipples a bit. You never thought you’d like the sensation of someone swirling around them, tugging them at some points, but here you were, enjoying every second of it.
               You get so into it, that at first you don’t notice Hawks lining up with your entrance and starting to work his way back into you. Dabi actually does first, shuddering at the contact of Hawks’ dick against his own and gasping a bit.
               “Oh Dabi, you were so cocky a minute ago, what’s wrong now?” You hear the teasing from behind as you desperately grip onto Dabi’s shoulders, trying to stay relaxed so it doesn’t hurt as much.
               “Fuck off, chicken.” Is his only response which Hawks cackles at as he starts to push further in. You gasp at the painful stretch, tears welling out of your eyes, as Hawks reaches around you to play with your clit to distract you.
               “Doing so good, sweetheart, just a little bit more, can you do that for me?” he nips at your ear.
               “Yes,” you gasp, the pleasure from his rough finger movements distracting you a bit from all the pain as your breathing gets shallow. “Slow down, please?”
               “That’ll just make it worse,” he says. “I’m just going to get it over quickly, alright?” you don’t even have time to agree before he shoves the rest of his way in, screaming out as it happens. You feel so fucking stuffed, and they haven’t even started moving or anything.
               Dabi’s losing some of that composure he’d had before, cussing as he tries to steady his breathing, but you feel his cock twitching inside you. You’re losing the strength you have in your arms as you lean forwards onto Dabi’s chest, and you moan as the shift in movement gives you friction on your clit and in your pussy.
               Without really knowing what you’re doing, you press kisses onto the side of his neck as you lie there, trying to get used to being this stretched out. It wasn’t going to happen tonight that’s for sure, because you’d barely had anything up there until today.
               You feel a grip tighten on your hips as one of them, at this point you have no idea who, starts moving in and out. The other goes the opposite rhythm so that you always feel so completely full you feel like you’re going to burst. The thought comes unbidden into your mind that these two sadists might actually enjoy that. It makes you shiver in fear.
               You can’t really remember what happened, but you have specific feelings and recollections of the two fucking into you,
               …Dabi hitting your G-Spot over and over again as you see white and cum hard on his cock…
               …Hawks leaning over you to grab Dabi into a rather passionate kiss as he got you to play with the raven-haired man’s pierced nipples…
               …Your ass getting spanked so you clench down on them and Dabi comes, but stays inside until he gets hard again…
               …getting toyed with in every possible way, bites and bruises marking your skin so much that you feel light headed from blood-loss…
               …you remember clawing at Dabi’s back which has him screaming in pleasure…
               …Dabi’s eyes glowing blue, as if he’d had flames trapped inside them and they were ready to come out…
               …pleased laughter and an uptick in pace…
               …then nothing…
                 Dabi lays back, breathing heavily as your form is slumped on his chest. He wasn’t surprised you’d completely passed out a little way into your second round. If anything, he was surprised you’d managed to last that long. He was wiped after one, but that was mainly because he was trying to keep up with Hawks, who had the fucking endurance of something otherworldly.
               Which made sense given he was a magical being.
               Still it peeved Dabi to no end as Hawks slid out of you looking completely untouched as he did so. The only thing that was out of place was his hair, messed from Dabi grabbing it, which he hadn’t remembered starting but it was sometime when he was making out with Hawks… which he hadn’t expected… but he wasn’t complaining.
               Although no matter how drained Dabi felt physically, magically? He felt so fucking ready to take on anything that could happen in the future. He could feel it pulsing around his body, in his fingertips and temples, and it felt amazing. He understood why so many people went with summoning darker entities for power transfers now, much easier and much more potent.
               “So, I have to be here in person to do my whole mind-manipulation thing, so you should think about how to keep her safe for now. She’s tied to you because of the transfer so like, if she were to die for example…. You’d definitely die too.” Hawks says with a cheery smile.
               “You didn’t think to mention that before?” he gets a shrug in response.
               “You didn’t ask. Oh and, for every time you need a power boost, just take care of her and let her enjoy the sex, it’ll ah – flow easier if you catch my drift.”
               “Thanks oh angel of a good dickening… what would I ever do without you?”
               “No seriously, the more your conduit enjoys the sex, the more you get out of it.” he looks unamused.
               “Oh. Ah, well that’s good to know.” Dabi has to start planning out his next moves then, keeping you healthy and happy was going to be a tough job.
               “I did make the suggestion to her that I was her guardian angel and you were helping her out, try to play up that angle, it’ll call up some of the residual magic in her mind and make her… more pliant.” Hawks starts putting on his clothes once again.
               “Uh, thanks. Is she just a constant source of your power then?” That’s the only part Dabi was still confused about.
               “No, I’ll be back when I feel the energy start to dwindle. I need you to do all the terrible things I know you have planned. Your soul will be fucking delicious then. Any who, see you later Dabi! It was an absolute pleasure doing business with you.”
               He vanishes like he came, suddenly disappearing with a gust of air hitting Dabi in the face. Dabi looks down on you, still on his cock as he desperately tries to think about what he was going to do to keep you in here and how he’d keep you safe trying to hunt down another coven.
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tomuras-doormat · 4 years
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His Darling - Tomura Shigaraki x F!Reader
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My first post <3 This writing was for one of my college classes so this version is different compared to the original. It’s told in 3rd person (kind of?) but I hope you all still enjoy it. Word Count: 3.5K Warnings: Yandere, Kidnapping  
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No more than five years old, Tomura Shigaraki was abandoned by his parents. He was a frightened child with baby blue hair and red eyes, wandering the streets during the day and resting at night. He looked to other people for help, but no one did. They ignored him because he was dirty. Tomura cried and begged and on some days, he thought that he should end it all. Tomura later developed Dermatillomania due to him scratching at his eyes and neck whenever he was anxious which caused people to label him A Monster.
All those people that ignored him had brought him to where he was now. A killer who had an obsessive crush on someone he happened to stumble into one night at the bar. She was shorter than him and thin, she had beautiful eyes and silky smooth hair, she dyed her hair pink awhile back and all that stays of it is small shadows that shine under the street lights. Tonight, the girl is alone. Tomura follows her from a distance. He does not need to follow her; he already knows everything about her. Where she lives, where she goes to school, who her friends are, and most importantly, the fact that her dad put his gambling debt on his beautiful daughter. Granted that may have been Tomura’s fault after he killed her father, but that doesn’t matter. What matters is that Tomura has been helping her to pay it off! He sends her $1,000 once a week. He does not understand why she looks so confused whenever she receives the money, but he knows that it makes her happy. Tonight, Tomura decided that she is going to pay him back for all the money he has spent on her. I mean she should know where this money is coming from, shouldn’t she? He edges closer and closer to her as she gets increasingly distracted on her phone, waiting for the right moment. Tomura knows when the right moment is, he has been planning this for months now and now was finally the night for action. He walks a little closer to the unsuspecting girl and watches as she turns down the alleyway that she uses as a shortcut to get back to her apartment. That’s when he strikes. Like a predator closing in on its prey. Tomura hooks his arms under the girl’s and covers her mouth with a cloth making the girl drop her phone. She struggles a bit but eventually she calms down, a smile spreading across Tomura’s face. The one person he would never think of hurting is now in his arms. The one person who he cares about most needs him. What would happen if he left her there? Some other guys were bound to come around and have their way with the unresponsive body. Tomura could not allow that to happen, he would not allow that to happen. She was now safe in his arms. Safe from all those guys who flirt with her at the bar, safe from that crazy killer who is always on the news, safe from that nasty debt collector. She was safe. Tomura crushed her phone under his foot and picked her up princess style. He planted a soft kiss on her forehead and smiled as he carried her out of the alleyway to his home. Her new home. Their home. Main Quest Number One: Completed Tomura scowls as he drags the small figure back to his small house. Why did you try to escape? He did not understand. He made sure he had everything you liked. From the clothes you wore, to your favorite meals. He had everything memorized, it’s what a good boyfriend should do right? So why did you try to run away from him?  You were confused! That must be it. You don’t understand everything yet, that’s why Tomura is there to teach you. He’s there to be your guiding hand for you to hold. Tomura picks up the small figure gently and holds her tighter as she struggles. “Why are you doing this to me?!” she yells out at him at a volume that someone else would have heard her if he lived in a more populated neighborhood. Tomura gives her a soft smile and says, “It’s because I love you darling, you’re just confused is all and you need some guidance.” He plants a few more dry kisses onto her forehead and takes her back inside. “If you try something like that again darling, I can’t say I’ll be as nice.”  Tomura decided that she should be restrained. It was a thought that he hoped he would not have to act out, but just until she was broken in. He just needs to train her! Like a cute new pet he just got, she needs to be trained. Learn her boundaries, what she can and cannot do. He can’t be mad at her for trying to escape, he did not train her! Tomura jumped in excitement at the thought of his darling becoming obedient. Once she breaks everything will be so much better. Tomura locked the 6 locks and 2 deadbolts on his door and set his darling on the couch. “I’m going to make our dinner, stay put and watch TV, okay?” he said with a small smile. The girl starts to cry and Tomura’s expression changes drastically. “Why are you crying my darling?!” he said as he rushed over to her. “Why are you keeping me here...!” the small figure cried out. Tomura frowns and pulls the girl towards him to hold her close, a slight struggle coming from the girl. “Because I need to keep you safe darling, there are so many dreadful things in this world and I’m going to be your savior. I’ve seen the way those men eye you up. It’s disgusting to watch them, knowing they are undressing you with their eyes. I couldn’t take it anymore and I wanted you for myself.”  The girl calms down a bit and her sobs become soft sniffles. Tomura smiles at his first successful breakthrough and kisses her forehead. “I’m going to make dinner, ok darling?” he says as he stands up. He walks over to the kitchen and starts to prepare the girls favorite meal. He looks back at her occasionally to make sure she is behaving herself, growing happier and prouder at the fact that he’s slowly breaking her.  Tomura smiled at the sight of her wearing the white nightgown he bought for her. He liked seeing her in white, it made her purity shine through even more. He patted the spot next to him and waited for her to walk over to him, but she didn’t. She just stood there and hesitated. “What’s wrong my darling?” he asked, a bit annoyed. “Why do I have to sleep next to you...” the small figure mumbled. Tomura frowned and stood up, walking over to the girl. “Because I want to keep you safe in my arms even when you sleep. What if the house catches on fire and I can’t save you...?” he says as he grabs a hold of her wrist lightly. He pulls her over to the bed and waits till she is laying down. Tomura smiles to himself and crawls onto the bed himself. He pulls the covers down and holds the fragile body close to his own. He leans down to her whisper in her ear but hesitates a bit. He looks down her body a bit and kisses her neck as she squirms a bit next to him. He looks up to see a hint of pink on her face and he smiles. “I know you’re still a virgin darling, I’ll wait to do anything like that until you’re ready” he says to her and plants a loving kiss on her cheek. Tomura holds the small body close to his own and closes his eyes, waiting for the happy dreams to come to him about him and his darling. * * * Tomura woke early in the morning so he could prepare everything that needed to be done. Tomura had to leave today so he decided to give his darling a small chore list of what he wanted done while he was gone. He walked down the stairs to the kitchen to start breakfast, soon Tomura will be waking up to breakfast in bed from his darling, he must train her to do so. He was sad that he had to leave his darling alone today, but the trip was well needed. His fridge was running low on food and he wanted to have a stocked fridge for when his darling started cooking for him. He smiles to himself knowing that he has her now. He can keep her safe from everything bad in the world. Safe from everyone’s nasty glares and perverted eyes. The only eyes that can lay upon her now are his own.  He finishes making breakfast and sets it down on the table. He grabs a notepad and a pen and writes a small note for his darling. “I have to head out for a while my darling so please behave yourself. I do not want to be angry with you   I have a small list of chores for you, could you do them for me darling? -Clean the dishes -Make our bed -Pick up the Living Room a bit” With his note written and breakfast made, he grabbed the things he needed and headed out. Tomura looked up at the sky and frowned. It was dark and gloomy. Was it supposed to rain? He couldn’t remember. He sighed and walked down the sidewalk to the convenient store. It may be called a ‘convenient’ store, but it was far from that. The closest store was about a three-mile walk. Tomura would have to be gone for about 2 hours and that pained him, knowing his darling would be home alone for such a long time. He’d just have to be quick is all. Tomura smiled and started on his journey to the store, now having a purpose to go. He pulled out his small list and read it over multiple times on his way there, hopping by the time he got there he would have it memorized. There wasn’t much on it, but it was still a lot.  Tomura looked at a few display windows as he passed by some stores. He paused for a minute and imagined his cute darling in the displayed dress. He blushed at the thought of coming home to her in the outfit. He quickly walks into the store to buy the floral dress. A knee length dress that has a white base and pink flowers working its way up the fabric.  Tomura held the bag tightly as he walked out of the store. 15 minutes behind, but it would be worth it. To see his sweet in the tasteful dress and to see her reaction to seeing it herself, he was jumping with excitement. He looked up at the sky to see it had darkened even more, covering the sun completely. “I should hurry…” Tomura mumbled to himself, and so he started his quest for the store. Side Quest Number One: Completed Tomura made his way to the store and pulled out the small list. He was distracted the rest of the walk and had forgotten about memorizing the list. He looks around, walking up and down aisles to find what he needs. Frowning whenever the store didn’t have what he wanted, which was a lot of. Tomura scoffed at the thought of going to another store or even taking another day to go shopping again. He grabbed what he could get and went to the cashier to pay for his items. He glanced outside and sighed as it started to rain. Just his luck. The store clerk told Tomura his goodbyes and thank yous and Tomura walked out of the store. He looked around for the covered spots of the streets but could not find one. He sighed and started to make his journey back home at a slight job. Thunder roared and some lightning struck on his way, but it did not bother him. The only thing Tomura feared was losing his darling. He ran up to the house and pulled out his keys, unlocking the door and walking inside. “Darling! I’m back!” he yelled. Tomura closed the door and looked around. Where could she be? He walked to the kitchen and set the grocery bag down. Anger set in when he saw the untouched plate of food and the dirty dishes. He called out to her again, “Darling, where are you!”  The enraged man stormed around the house trying to find the small girl. He had started to throw doors open in his rage. Had she really left him?! Just like that! “Darling!!” he called out in an angry tone. He stormed into the bedroom and looked around. He kicked the bed and growled. Where the hell did she go? Did she seriously leave him? Tomura looked around and walked over to the closet. He opened the doors and looked down. His emotions flared in rage as he saw the girl sitting on the floor. He opened his mouth to yell at her, but the girl leaped towards him and clung onto his shirt, crying. She was crying…? A roar of thunder had the girl crying even more and suddenly he understood. He wrapped his arms around her as she sobbed into his already soaked shirt. “Did I scare you darling? I didn’t mean to, I thought you ran away from me...” Tomura had picked up the small sobbing girl and held her in his arms. He walked over to the bed and laid her down. He tried to get up, but she clung to him even harder. “Don’t leave me... Please...” pleaded the girl. A small smile spread across Tomura’s face and he laid back down with her, holding her close and whispering sweet nothings into her ear.   * * * Weeks after weeks, his darling had finally started to crack. She was warming up to him, greeting him when he returned home, started cooking meals and obeying most of his commands. Today was an extra special day, it was the first day that she had worn the floral dress that he had bought for her. The dress fit her perfect body perfectly, showing every curve off perfectly. Tomura blushed a bit as he walked over to her and kissed her cheek. She even started being more loving towards Tomura, that made him the most excited. That’s all he wanted from her was her love. He wanted her to stay home and take care of the family. A family that was hopefully soon to be a reality. “I have dinner ready for us,” she said softly. He smiled and nodded. Tomura set his stuff down and walked to the kitchen with the small girl. He looked down at the table and smiled at the home cooked meal made by his darling. This is how life should always be, this is how it was meant to be.  “I’m going to go take a shower darling,” Tomura said to the girl as she picked up his plate. The girl looked at him and nodded with a soft smile. He kissed her cheek and went upstairs to the bathroom. Tomura couldn’t even wipe the smile off his face. His new pet has finally been broken in, no need for the leash and collar anymore on his new pet. She was bound to break eventually, with no one else to talk to but Tomura, who would she turn to? She would break eventually, and it finally happened. He walked into the bathroom and closed the door. He walked over to the shower and turned it on while he started to undress. Tomura hadn’t showered a lot because he was saving the water for his darling. He finished undressing and hopped into the bathtub. He closed the curtain and leaned his head back, wetting his hair and face. Tomura smiled and closed his eyes, getting lost in thought of his darling that he didn’t hear the door open. He grabbed the shampoo and put some in his hand. Setting the bottle back down he lathered up the soap into his hair. He opened his eyes a bit to see the curtain opening, his darling sliding into the shower. A dark blush spreading across his cheeks. “Darling what are you doing...!” he managed to stutter out. The small figure looked up and smiled. “I wanted to join you...” she said softly, stepping into the shower and closing the curtain. It was the first time Tomura had laid his eyes on a woman, the only woman he ever dreamed about looking at was his darling and here she was, in front of him in the shower. His eyes were darting all over her body, not knowing where to look. The small figure stepped towards him and he wrapped his hands around her waist. Tomura looked at the girl, asking for permission with his eyes. The girl giggled and nodded, planted a soft kiss on his cheek. When he was given the okay, Tomura was on her like a wild animal. He couldn’t contain himself; self-control was blown out the window the moment he was given the okay. His hands exploded every inch of her body as she whined and squirmed under his greedy touch. Tonight, he would finally lay claim to her, he would mark her wherever he saw necessary.   Main Quest Number Three: Completed The next morning, Tomura awoke from the movement of his darling. He opened his eyes a bit and looked down at her. She was snuggled up to his chest and breathing softly. He pulled the sheets down a bit to admire her marked up body. He smiled to himself and planted a soft kiss to her forehead. Everything was now perfect. Tomura’s life was now completed. He had everything he could ask for and the next step would be soon to come. A family. * * * More weeks had passed and Tomura had been delivered the news, his darling had tested positive for pregnancy. They were both overjoyed, exchanging hugs and kisses. Worry then set in Tomura’s mind. How would this baby be delivered? He is wanted in about every state for murder, he can’t just waltz into a hospital and expect not to have someone turn him in. That was something he couldn’t risk. Tomura had to come up with a plan and he had limited time to do it. He set the girl down and smiled. “I’m so happy darling, this is all because of you, you made this possible” he said with a smile.  “Hey Tomura, do you think I could go outside...? I could buy the groceries instead of you” she said softly. Why would she want to go outside? Tomura’s chest rumbled as a low growl escaped his lips. “No, there's no reason for you to go outside! It’s not safe out there! Why would you want to leave me darling...?!” he yelled at the girl. The girl cowered a bit in fear at his loud tone. She was trying to leave him! Was everything she said an act? Was she playing with his emotions? No. No, no, no, no, no. His darling wouldn’t do that. She loved him; he knew he did. Tomura grabbed her shoulders roughly and looked down at her. “You can’t leave me. I won’t let you. You’re happy here. I know you are” he said with a dark smile. His eyes glistened with rage as the small girl whined from his harsh grip. “Tomura you’re hurting me...” she said quietly. Tomura let go as an idea popped into his head, a sadistic smile spread across his face as he looked down at the girl. He can’t have her running away from him. She has his child, she can’t run from him now He grabbed her arm and dragged her to the door to the basement. Tomura let out a low chuckle as he pulled her into the basement. He had everything prepared down here in case something like this had happened. The girl struggled in Tomura’s harsh grip; eyes filled with fear as she looked at all different tools around the basement. Tomura walked over to a wall that he had built chains into. “It’s for your own safety darling. I can’t have you leaving me. What if you happened to get hurt while you were out?”  Tomura said, worry clearly in his voice. He kneels and wraps the chains around her ankles. “I can’t have you leaving me darling…” he says with a smile. He stands up and plants a kiss on the frightened girl's forehead. “And to think I fully broke you...” Tomura walks over to the stairs as the girl cries out his name. He ignores every word she says, though it puts a great deal of pain on him to do so. The man bites his lip and walks up the stairs, a smile making its way on his hips as he closes the door.   “I won’t let you leave me darling; I’ll make sure you understand that.”
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